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2,513 | How to Ask Your Mom for a Bra | 1. Gaining the Confidence to Ask
1-1. Own your reasons for wanting a bra.
Write down two to three valid reasons for wanting a bra. And try to make your reasons personal. If you do this, your mom will be more likely to sympathize and agree with you. Also, by identifying your reasons, you will have more confidence in communicating your needs to your mom. Just remember that your mom was a girl who needed a bra once, too.
For example, perhaps you play sports and you realize that a bra will provide you with the support you need.
If you are developing and it's becoming noticeable, say "I need support and coverage so that I don't show more than I want. People keep staring at me and I think it's because they can see I'm not wearing a bra."
Try to avoid using the "everyone else is doing it" reason; parents don't usually see this as a valid reason.
1-2. State your feelings.
It is natural to feel nervous or embarrassed about discussing sensitive topics, like wearing a bra, with your mom. Perhaps you are afraid your mom will misunderstand you, reject your request, or punish you for asking. But don’t let these feelings prevent you from talking with your mom. Instead, translate your feelings into words when you approach your mom about the topic.
For example, “I feel a little embarrassed talking about this, but I need to ask you something mom,” or "Mom, can I ask you something personal? I wanted to know at what age you started wearing a bra because I think it is time for me to get one. I hope you understand."
1-3. Practice what you will say.
Write down three or four different ways of asking your mom for a bra. Say them out loud and see which one feels the most natural. Once you have nailed down what you would like to say, rehearse it out loud or in front of the mirror until the words come out naturally.
For example, you could say, “Mom, I need to ask you something. It is not anything bad, but it is a little embarrassing. I don’t know if you have noticed, but my body has been going through some changes lately. I think it is time for me to wear a bra. I think a bra would help me feel more comfortable and secure about my body.”
2. Asking Your Mom
2-1. Arrange a time to talk.
Try to avoid bringing up the topic when your mom is busy. If she is busy, she is less likely to listen to and hear what you have to say. Instead, give her a heads up by arranging a time to talk. This way your mom knows that you need to talk to her about something important, and she can give you her full attention.
You can say, for example, “Hey mom, I need to talk to you about something important. When would be a good time talk?”
People are usually more open after eating a meal, so bringing up the topic after dinner may work as well.
2-2. Ask while you are out shopping.
If you are uncomfortable asking your mom directly, then you can try suggesting the idea of wearing a bra. Arrange a time to go shopping with your mom. When you are approaching the bra department or store in the mall, ask if you two can go in together to check it out. Once you are in the store, ask your mom, “Do you think it is time for me to wear a bra? I kind of feel like it is time.”
As you approach the store you could also say, “Mom can we take a look in the bra section? I kind of think it is time for me to start wearing a bra.”
2-3. Write a note or send a text.
If you are afraid that your mom will be harsh or overly critical, or you just cannot get over your embarrassment, then try this strategy. Write a note detailing why you think you need a bra. Give her the note when she is not busy. Tell her to read the note, think about it and come talk to you afterwards.
Alternatively, you could write the note and then read it to her out loud while you are alone together; for example, while you are both alone in the car or on a walk.
3. Dealing with a Negative Response
3-1. Remain calm.
If your mom doesn’t agree with you or tells you no, try not to argue, yell or whine. Instead, remain calm and keep your tone of voice friendly and understanding. Then ask your mom why now is not the right time.
For example, “When do you think the right time is?” or “When did you get your first bra?”
3-2. Suggest an alternative.
Do this if you are uncomfortable not wearing a bra, but your mom still says no. Suggest getting a training bra, sports bra or a camisole with a built-in bra to wear in the meantime. After wearing these for a few months, bring up the topic again.
For example, “I have been wearing my training bra for six months. I think I am ready to wear a bra now.
3-3. Talk to another trusted adult.
Do this if your mom simply will not listen or does not understand that a bra will help you feel more comfortable about your body. Talk about the issue with a trusted relative, counselor, or teacher. They may be able to offer you some advice on how to approach the topic with your mom.
You could also ask them to discuss the topic with your mom for you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:51",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gaining the Confidence to Ask\\n1-1. Own your reasons for wanting a bra.\\nWrite down two to three valid reasons for wanting a bra. And try to make your reasons personal. If you do this, your mom will be more likely to sympathize and agree with you. Also, by identifying your reasons, you will have more confidence in communicating your needs to your mom. Just remember that your mom was a girl who needed a bra once, too.\\nFor example, perhaps you play sports and you realize that a bra will provide you with the support you need.\\nIf you are developing and it's becoming noticeable, say \\\"I need support and coverage so that I don't show more than I want. People keep staring at me and I think it's because they can see I'm not wearing a bra.\\\"\\nTry to avoid using the \\\"everyone else is doing it\\\" reason; parents don't usually see this as a valid reason.\\n1-2. State your feelings.\\nIt is natural to feel nervous or embarrassed about discussing sensitive topics, like wearing a bra, with your mom. Perhaps you are afraid your mom will misunderstand you, reject your request, or punish you for asking. But don’t let these feelings prevent you from talking with your mom. Instead, translate your feelings into words when you approach your mom about the topic.\\nFor example, “I feel a little embarrassed talking about this, but I need to ask you something mom,” or \\\"Mom, can I ask you something personal? I wanted to know at what age you started wearing a bra because I think it is time for me to get one. I hope you understand.\\\"\\n1-3. Practice what you will say.\\nWrite down three or four different ways of asking your mom for a bra. Say them out loud and see which one feels the most natural. Once you have nailed down what you would like to say, rehearse it out loud or in front of the mirror until the words come out naturally.\\nFor example, you could say, “Mom, I need to ask you something. It is not anything bad, but it is a little embarrassing. I don’t know if you have noticed, but my body has been going through some changes lately. I think it is time for me to wear a bra. I think a bra would help me feel more comfortable and secure about my body.”\\n2. Asking Your Mom\\n2-1. Arrange a time to talk.\\nTry to avoid bringing up the topic when your mom is busy. If she is busy, she is less likely to listen to and hear what you have to say. Instead, give her a heads up by arranging a time to talk. This way your mom knows that you need to talk to her about something important, and she can give you her full attention.\\nYou can say, for example, “Hey mom, I need to talk to you about something important. When would be a good time talk?”\\nPeople are usually more open after eating a meal, so bringing up the topic after dinner may work as well.\\n2-2. Ask while you are out shopping.\\nIf you are uncomfortable asking your mom directly, then you can try suggesting the idea of wearing a bra. Arrange a time to go shopping with your mom. When you are approaching the bra department or store in the mall, ask if you two can go in together to check it out. Once you are in the store, ask your mom, “Do you think it is time for me to wear a bra? I kind of feel like it is time.”\\nAs you approach the store you could also say, “Mom can we take a look in the bra section? I kind of think it is time for me to start wearing a bra.”\\n2-3. Write a note or send a text.\\nIf you are afraid that your mom will be harsh or overly critical, or you just cannot get over your embarrassment, then try this strategy. Write a note detailing why you think you need a bra. Give her the note when she is not busy. Tell her to read the note, think about it and come talk to you afterwards.\\nAlternatively, you could write the note and then read it to her out loud while you are alone together; for example, while you are both alone in the car or on a walk.\\n3. Dealing with a Negative Response\\n3-1. Remain calm.\\nIf your mom doesn’t agree with you or tells you no, try not to argue, yell or whine. Instead, remain calm and keep your tone of voice friendly and understanding. Then ask your mom why now is not the right time.\\nFor example, “When do you think the right time is?” or “When did you get your first bra?”\\n3-2. Suggest an alternative.\\nDo this if you are uncomfortable not wearing a bra, but your mom still says no. Suggest getting a training bra, sports bra or a camisole with a built-in bra to wear in the meantime. After wearing these for a few months, bring up the topic again.\\nFor example, “I have been wearing my training bra for six months. I think I am ready to wear a bra now.\\n3-3. Talk to another trusted adult.\\nDo this if your mom simply will not listen or does not understand that a bra will help you feel more comfortable about your body. Talk about the issue with a trusted relative, counselor, or teacher. They may be able to offer you some advice on how to approach the topic with your mom.\\nYou could also ask them to discuss the topic with your mom for you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It is normal to feel awkward talking to your mom about sensitive topics like body changes and puberty. But this shouldn’t prevent you from bringing up these topics. Try to realize that because your mom went through the same thing when she was your age, she is more likely to be understanding and supportive than not. If your mom does not agree that you need a bra, instead of getting mad, remain calm and try to understand her reasoning. If you disagree with her reasoning, then try talking about the issue with another trusted adult.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gaining the Confidence to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Own your reasons for wanting a bra.\", \"描述\": \"Write down two to three valid reasons for wanting a bra. And try to make your reasons personal. If you do this, your mom will be more likely to sympathize and agree with you. Also, by identifying your reasons, you will have more confidence in communicating your needs to your mom. Just remember that your mom was a girl who needed a bra once, too.\\nFor example, perhaps you play sports and you realize that a bra will provide you with the support you need.\\nIf you are developing and it's becoming noticeable, say \\\"I need support and coverage so that I don't show more than I want. People keep staring at me and I think it's because they can see I'm not wearing a bra.\\\"\\nTry to avoid using the \\\"everyone else is doing it\\\" reason; parents don't usually see this as a valid reason.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"State your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"It is natural to feel nervous or embarrassed about discussing sensitive topics, like wearing a bra, with your mom. Perhaps you are afraid your mom will misunderstand you, reject your request, or punish you for asking. But don’t let these feelings prevent you from talking with your mom. Instead, translate your feelings into words when you approach your mom about the topic.\\nFor example, “I feel a little embarrassed talking about this, but I need to ask you something mom,” or \\\"Mom, can I ask you something personal? I wanted to know at what age you started wearing a bra because I think it is time for me to get one. I hope you understand.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice what you will say.\", \"描述\": \"Write down three or four different ways of asking your mom for a bra. Say them out loud and see which one feels the most natural. Once you have nailed down what you would like to say, rehearse it out loud or in front of the mirror until the words come out naturally.\\nFor example, you could say, “Mom, I need to ask you something. It is not anything bad, but it is a little embarrassing. I don’t know if you have noticed, but my body has been going through some changes lately. I think it is time for me to wear a bra. I think a bra would help me feel more comfortable and secure about my body.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Your Mom\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Arrange a time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Try to avoid bringing up the topic when your mom is busy. If she is busy, she is less likely to listen to and hear what you have to say. Instead, give her a heads up by arranging a time to talk. This way your mom knows that you need to talk to her about something important, and she can give you her full attention.\\nYou can say, for example, “Hey mom, I need to talk to you about something important. When would be a good time talk?”\\nPeople are usually more open after eating a meal, so bringing up the topic after dinner may work as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask while you are out shopping.\", \"描述\": \"If you are uncomfortable asking your mom directly, then you can try suggesting the idea of wearing a bra. Arrange a time to go shopping with your mom. When you are approaching the bra department or store in the mall, ask if you two can go in together to check it out. Once you are in the store, ask your mom, “Do you think it is time for me to wear a bra? I kind of feel like it is time.”\\nAs you approach the store you could also say, “Mom can we take a look in the bra section? I kind of think it is time for me to start wearing a bra.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write a note or send a text.\", \"描述\": \"If you are afraid that your mom will be harsh or overly critical, or you just cannot get over your embarrassment, then try this strategy. Write a note detailing why you think you need a bra. Give her the note when she is not busy. Tell her to read the note, think about it and come talk to you afterwards.\\nAlternatively, you could write the note and then read it to her out loud while you are alone together; for example, while you are both alone in the car or on a walk.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with a Negative Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remain calm.\", \"描述\": \"If your mom doesn’t agree with you or tells you no, try not to argue, yell or whine. Instead, remain calm and keep your tone of voice friendly and understanding. Then ask your mom why now is not the right time.\\nFor example, “When do you think the right time is?” or “When did you get your first bra?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Suggest an alternative.\", \"描述\": \"Do this if you are uncomfortable not wearing a bra, but your mom still says no. Suggest getting a training bra, sports bra or a camisole with a built-in bra to wear in the meantime. After wearing these for a few months, bring up the topic again.\\nFor example, “I have been wearing my training bra for six months. I think I am ready to wear a bra now.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to another trusted adult.\", \"描述\": \"Do this if your mom simply will not listen or does not understand that a bra will help you feel more comfortable about your body. Talk about the issue with a trusted relative, counselor, or teacher. They may be able to offer you some advice on how to approach the topic with your mom.\\nYou could also ask them to discuss the topic with your mom for you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,514 | How to Ask Your Mom if You Can Wear Makeup | 1. Talking to Your Mom
1-1. Ask yourself why you want to wear makeup.
Identify the reasons that you want to wear makeup. Don't tell your mom you want to wear makeup because everyone else is wearing it. That reason usually doesn't work.Some good reasons to wear makeup may include:
To express your personal style or experiment with your look
To cover up your acne or dark spots because you feel self-conscious
To enhance some of your features
To dress up for special occasions
1-2. Have a party with your mom.
Tell your mom that you would like to have a night in with her. As part of the festivities, ask your mom to show you how to apply makeup. This can be a bonding experience for you and your mom, and you can show her that you value her input. A girls night is also a good way to gauge how your Mom feels about you wearing makeup.
You may say, “Hey Mom. Could you show me how to apply makeup? I want to do it right."
You can also say, “I know you don’t really want me to wear makeup yet, but can you show me so I’ll be ready when the time comes?”
1-3. Choose a good time to talk.
Approach your Mom when she is not busy and has time to talk. Long car rides and walks are good opportunities to approach her. Also make sure that she is in a good mood and is not irritated about something.
You can say, “Hey Mom, can we talk?” or “I wanted to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?”
If you can’t find the right time, you can say, “I need to talk to you about something. When is a good time for you?”
1-4. Explain why you want to wear makeup.
Be clear, direct, and honest about why you want to wear makeup. Be sure to emphasize that you know you do not need to wear makeup to look good, but this is just something you would like to try out.
You may say, “I feel really self-conscious about my acne. Wearing makeup would help me feel a lot better about it.”
You may say,”Hey Mom, I would like to start wearing some makeup. I just want to enhance my looks a little bit. Is this ok?”
You could also say, “You know I was invited to a birthday party this weekend. I would love to wear a little makeup for the event. What do you think about that?”
If your Mom wears makeup, you could say, “You always look so beautiful with your makeup. Can I wear a little?”
It may help to write down your thoughts before you talk to your mom. It may help you communicate more clearly.
1-5. Listen to her response.
Once you explain your reasons for wanting to wear makeup, listen to what she has to say. This is especially important if she is against you wearing makeup. Even if you do not like her answer, try to understand her point of view.
You can say, “I understand where you are coming from” or “I get it. That makes sense.”
2. Negotiating with Your Mother
2-1. Start small.
Your mom may say that you are too young for makeup or that you do not need to wear makeup. Agree with her, and then tell her that you only want to wear a little bit of makeup. Tell her that you do not want to wear a full face of makeup- just a little lip gloss, mascara, or eye shadow.
You may say, “You’re right Mom. I’m too young to wear a ton of makeup every day. How about a little lip gloss instead?”
You may also say, “I know that makeup does not make me beautiful. I only want to wear a little bit to enhance my features. Maybe I can just wear some mascara.”
2-2. Offer to pay for your makeup.
Your mom may object because she does not want to pay for your makeup. Tell her that you will use your allowance or do some extra chores to cover the cost. This shows your mom that you understand the value of money and hard work. She will also know how serious you are about wearing makeup.
You may say, “I know you work hard to provide for our family. I’d be happy to use my allowance to pay for my makeup.”
2-3. Ask about special occasions.
Ask your mom if you can wear makeup for special occasions only. This is a nice compromise because you will not be wearing makeup every single day. Ask her to help you come up with a look that she thinks is appropriate.
You can say, “I understand that you don’t want me to wear makeup to school every day. How about I only wear makeup for special occasions?”
You could also say, “Could you show me how to apply some eye shadow or blush just for special occasions?”
2-4. Respect her answer.
Your Mom may not be open to any of your suggestions. If she gives you a firm no, do not pout or get an attitude with her. This will only hurt your chances in the future. Accept her decision and show her that you are a mature young person.
You can ask her again in a few months.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talking to Your Mom\\n1-1. Ask yourself why you want to wear makeup.\\nIdentify the reasons that you want to wear makeup. Don't tell your mom you want to wear makeup because everyone else is wearing it. That reason usually doesn't work.Some good reasons to wear makeup may include:\\nTo express your personal style or experiment with your look\\nTo cover up your acne or dark spots because you feel self-conscious\\nTo enhance some of your features\\nTo dress up for special occasions\\n1-2. Have a party with your mom.\\nTell your mom that you would like to have a night in with her. As part of the festivities, ask your mom to show you how to apply makeup. This can be a bonding experience for you and your mom, and you can show her that you value her input. A girls night is also a good way to gauge how your Mom feels about you wearing makeup.\\nYou may say, “Hey Mom. Could you show me how to apply makeup? I want to do it right.\\\"\\nYou can also say, “I know you don’t really want me to wear makeup yet, but can you show me so I’ll be ready when the time comes?”\\n1-3. Choose a good time to talk.\\nApproach your Mom when she is not busy and has time to talk. Long car rides and walks are good opportunities to approach her. Also make sure that she is in a good mood and is not irritated about something.\\nYou can say, “Hey Mom, can we talk?” or “I wanted to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?”\\nIf you can’t find the right time, you can say, “I need to talk to you about something. When is a good time for you?”\\n1-4. Explain why you want to wear makeup.\\nBe clear, direct, and honest about why you want to wear makeup. Be sure to emphasize that you know you do not need to wear makeup to look good, but this is just something you would like to try out.\\nYou may say, “I feel really self-conscious about my acne. Wearing makeup would help me feel a lot better about it.”\\nYou may say,”Hey Mom, I would like to start wearing some makeup. I just want to enhance my looks a little bit. Is this ok?”\\nYou could also say, “You know I was invited to a birthday party this weekend. I would love to wear a little makeup for the event. What do you think about that?”\\nIf your Mom wears makeup, you could say, “You always look so beautiful with your makeup. Can I wear a little?”\\nIt may help to write down your thoughts before you talk to your mom. It may help you communicate more clearly.\\n1-5. Listen to her response.\\nOnce you explain your reasons for wanting to wear makeup, listen to what she has to say. This is especially important if she is against you wearing makeup. Even if you do not like her answer, try to understand her point of view.\\nYou can say, “I understand where you are coming from” or “I get it. That makes sense.”\\n2. Negotiating with Your Mother\\n2-1. Start small.\\nYour mom may say that you are too young for makeup or that you do not need to wear makeup. Agree with her, and then tell her that you only want to wear a little bit of makeup. Tell her that you do not want to wear a full face of makeup- just a little lip gloss, mascara, or eye shadow.\\nYou may say, “You’re right Mom. I’m too young to wear a ton of makeup every day. How about a little lip gloss instead?”\\nYou may also say, “I know that makeup does not make me beautiful. I only want to wear a little bit to enhance my features. Maybe I can just wear some mascara.”\\n2-2. Offer to pay for your makeup.\\nYour mom may object because she does not want to pay for your makeup. Tell her that you will use your allowance or do some extra chores to cover the cost. This shows your mom that you understand the value of money and hard work. She will also know how serious you are about wearing makeup. \\nYou may say, “I know you work hard to provide for our family. I’d be happy to use my allowance to pay for my makeup.”\\n2-3. Ask about special occasions.\\nAsk your mom if you can wear makeup for special occasions only. This is a nice compromise because you will not be wearing makeup every single day. Ask her to help you come up with a look that she thinks is appropriate.\\nYou can say, “I understand that you don’t want me to wear makeup to school every day. How about I only wear makeup for special occasions?”\\nYou could also say, “Could you show me how to apply some eye shadow or blush just for special occasions?”\\n2-4. Respect her answer.\\nYour Mom may not be open to any of your suggestions. If she gives you a firm no, do not pout or get an attitude with her. This will only hurt your chances in the future. Accept her decision and show her that you are a mature young person.\\nYou can ask her again in a few months.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"At some point in time most people want to start experimenting with their appearance. If you're thinking about wearing makeup, it can be hard to talk to your Mom about it . Before you talk with her, determine why you want to wear makeup and write down what you plan to say. Be willing to compromise with her and have her set some limits. No matter what the answer is, be respectful and have a positive attitude.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talking to Your Mom\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself why you want to wear makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Identify the reasons that you want to wear makeup. Don't tell your mom you want to wear makeup because everyone else is wearing it. That reason usually doesn't work.Some good reasons to wear makeup may include:\\nTo express your personal style or experiment with your look\\nTo cover up your acne or dark spots because you feel self-conscious\\nTo enhance some of your features\\nTo dress up for special occasions\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a party with your mom.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your mom that you would like to have a night in with her. As part of the festivities, ask your mom to show you how to apply makeup. This can be a bonding experience for you and your mom, and you can show her that you value her input. A girls night is also a good way to gauge how your Mom feels about you wearing makeup.\\nYou may say, “Hey Mom. Could you show me how to apply makeup? I want to do it right.\\\"\\nYou can also say, “I know you don’t really want me to wear makeup yet, but can you show me so I’ll be ready when the time comes?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose a good time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Approach your Mom when she is not busy and has time to talk. Long car rides and walks are good opportunities to approach her. Also make sure that she is in a good mood and is not irritated about something.\\nYou can say, “Hey Mom, can we talk?” or “I wanted to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?”\\nIf you can’t find the right time, you can say, “I need to talk to you about something. When is a good time for you?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain why you want to wear makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Be clear, direct, and honest about why you want to wear makeup. Be sure to emphasize that you know you do not need to wear makeup to look good, but this is just something you would like to try out.\\nYou may say, “I feel really self-conscious about my acne. Wearing makeup would help me feel a lot better about it.”\\nYou may say,”Hey Mom, I would like to start wearing some makeup. I just want to enhance my looks a little bit. Is this ok?”\\nYou could also say, “You know I was invited to a birthday party this weekend. I would love to wear a little makeup for the event. What do you think about that?”\\nIf your Mom wears makeup, you could say, “You always look so beautiful with your makeup. Can I wear a little?”\\nIt may help to write down your thoughts before you talk to your mom. It may help you communicate more clearly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to her response.\", \"描述\": \"Once you explain your reasons for wanting to wear makeup, listen to what she has to say. This is especially important if she is against you wearing makeup. Even if you do not like her answer, try to understand her point of view.\\nYou can say, “I understand where you are coming from” or “I get it. That makes sense.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Negotiating with Your Mother\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start small.\", \"描述\": \"Your mom may say that you are too young for makeup or that you do not need to wear makeup. Agree with her, and then tell her that you only want to wear a little bit of makeup. Tell her that you do not want to wear a full face of makeup- just a little lip gloss, mascara, or eye shadow.\\nYou may say, “You’re right Mom. I’m too young to wear a ton of makeup every day. How about a little lip gloss instead?”\\nYou may also say, “I know that makeup does not make me beautiful. I only want to wear a little bit to enhance my features. Maybe I can just wear some mascara.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer to pay for your makeup.\", \"描述\": \"Your mom may object because she does not want to pay for your makeup. Tell her that you will use your allowance or do some extra chores to cover the cost. This shows your mom that you understand the value of money and hard work. She will also know how serious you are about wearing makeup. \\nYou may say, “I know you work hard to provide for our family. I’d be happy to use my allowance to pay for my makeup.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask about special occasions.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your mom if you can wear makeup for special occasions only. This is a nice compromise because you will not be wearing makeup every single day. Ask her to help you come up with a look that she thinks is appropriate.\\nYou can say, “I understand that you don’t want me to wear makeup to school every day. How about I only wear makeup for special occasions?”\\nYou could also say, “Could you show me how to apply some eye shadow or blush just for special occasions?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respect her answer.\", \"描述\": \"Your Mom may not be open to any of your suggestions. If she gives you a firm no, do not pout or get an attitude with her. This will only hurt your chances in the future. Accept her decision and show her that you are a mature young person.\\nYou can ask her again in a few months.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,515 | How to Ask Your Neighbors to Be Less Noisy | 1. Talking Directly to Your Neighbors
1-1. Learn what you can about your neighbors.
Before you decide to confront your neighbors about their noise levels, you should try your best to assess their situation, particularly if this noise problem is a new issue. Consider the following sorts of questions, the answers to which might affect whether you decide to talk to them or how you decide to talk to them:
Do they have a new baby? If they do, they are surely aware that their infant is wailing and are trying to calm him or her. Indeed, they are most likely more stressed out about the baby's crying than you are. Consider giving it a little bit of time to let the new parents and baby settle into a routine before you decide to talk to them.
Do they work nights? If so, there may be no way around them making noise while getting ready for work (showering, going down the stairs, starting their car, etc.) or coming home from their shift. Of course, if they are excessively loud (blasting music while they shower, for example), you may want to talk to them. On the other hand, if the noises they are making are what you would reasonably expect from anyone getting ready for their day, you won't have much of a case.
Is their pet a new adoption who hasn't yet had time to adapt to its new home? If so, your neighbors and their pet may just be going through an adjustment period. You may want to consider waiting for a while to see if they manage to get their new pet settled and find strategies for dealing with its noise.
1-2. Choose the right time to talk to your neighbor.
You are aiming for the best possible outcome, where your neighbor is receptive and sympathetic to your complaint. Thus, choosing the appropriate time and place to talk things over with them is important.
Ideally, you will be able to talk to your neighbor when they are not being noisy or disruptive, especially if the problem occurs in the middle of the night (when no one is at their best) or if you are angry while the noise is going on.
Try to pick a time when you are rested and calm, and also when you have reason to believe that your neighbor is similarly rested and won't feel ambushed.
Of course, if the noise is unbearable, you may not be able to wait, in which case we give you advice on how to confront them at these times in subsequent steps.
1-3. Avoid ambushing your neighbor.
In order to avoid putting your neighbor on the defensive, you should try not to surprise them at an inopportune time or place. It's best to avoid confrontations when it's clear that your neighbor is not prepared for a discussion, and it's even better if you can alert them to your need to talk and arrange for a time that works for both of you.
For example, it's not a good time to confront when your neighbor when she has just gotten home a twelve hour shift, or when she is clearly struggling to get all her kids off to school.
Rather than demanding that she give you her attention right then and there, you can try something like the following, after you see that she's got everyone buckled in: “Hey Kathy, I see that you're busy right now, but are you free for a short chat later this afternoon? I'd like to talk about some noise issues that I'm sure we'll be able to work out together.”
1-4. Be polite, respectful and friendly (if possible).
There may come a time when you have to become more assertive if your neighbors do nothing to reduce their noise, but you don't want to be hostile when you confront them initially. Your neighbors are far more likely to be receptive if you approach them politely and calmly.
Instead of banging on their door angrily, or having the first words out of your mouth be “Your d*%$ kids have been keeping me up all night!”, try easing into the conversation by asking them how everything has been going for them lately.
If there is any way for you to compliment them or generally find a way to demonstrate your friendliness and willingness to work with them, then do so. For example, you may be there to talk to them about how their new dog barks while they are out of the house. So long as you aren't allergic and the dog is otherwise well-behaved, give the pup a good pet and compliment the owners on how beautiful she is.
You can then lead into your issue: “Spot is gorgeous and clearly attached to you already. I think that may be related to why I'm here: you may not know it, but when you're out of the house, Spot barks and cries almost continually. I think this may be because she's dealing with separation anxiety. I was hoping we could come up with a plan to address that today.”
1-5. Let your neighbor know how you are being affected.
If you can find ways to make your neighbor be sympathetic towards you, it is more likely that they will take your complaints seriously and commit to reducing their noise levels for your benefit.
Once you've explained to your neighbor what activity or behavior of theirs is disturbing you, make sure that you clearly explain how it is negatively affecting you. Demonstrate to them that your problem isn't with them, but that it is with the noise and how it is interfering with your life.
For example, if their music is keeping you up at night, try the following: “Chris, you clearly have excellent taste in music—I'd like to get that playlist from you if I can—but the walls between our apartment are pretty thin, and I've been having a really hard time getting to sleep because of it. I've got to get up early for work, so this is becoming an issue.”
1-6. Suggest a plan.
Rather than just demanding that your neighbors shut up or stop making noise altogether, it will help if you are prepared with a plan. Be sure to let your neighbor know how you would like the situation to be resolved. Try to offer a reasonable plan that acknowledges your neighbor's right to live their own life in their own home.
For example, if your issue is that your neighbor's dog has been barking while they are out, you can suggest that they crate the dog at certain times or place it in a different room in the house when they are out.
You could also suggest that they shut their blinds and curtains and leave the television or radio on when they are out (which can reduce the dog's distractions and thus hopefully its barking).
If your neighbor's music has been keeping you up, rather than just demanding that they turn it off, you could try the following suggestion: “Given that I try to be asleep by 10pm would you be willing to turn the music off or switch to using headphones by then?”
2. Avoiding a Confrontation
2-1. Be proactive and try to avoid noise problems.
Everyone has neighbors who are noisy from time to time, and we are generally able to accommodate for this with little difficultly. However, you may have something big coming up such as a job interview or a change in work schedule, and are worried that your neighbor's noise may become a problem for you.
If this is the case, it's better to be proactive and let your neighbors know ahead of time that you'll need a bit more quiet than normal.
For example, in the days before your important event or schedule change, stop by your neighbor's with a plate of homemade cookies and try the following: “Hey Sam, I've got final exams all next week, and will need extra quiet time. Would you mind rescheduling your band's practice on those days, or maybe even temporarily moving it to a different location? It would help so much.”
2-2. Write them a note.
While talking to your neighbors directly is probably the most mature strategy, and is often the most effective—particularly if you are able to connect with them personally and get them to sympathize with your predicament—there may be times when you'd feel more comfortable writing them.
If you don't know your neighbors at all or if your schedules don't line up to where you ever see them outside of their home (at the mailbox, in the driveway, etc.), then leaving them a very politely worded note in their mailbox or on their door could be an effective way to alert them to the problem.
Make sure that your note explains specifically what the problem is: For example, explain that you can hear their television at 11pm when you are trying to get to sleep, and note that it is loud enough that you can hear all of the dialogue on the program.
Be sure to offer a proposed solution in your note: For example, suggest that they reduce the volume by a third, or ask that they move the television to the opposite side of the room, away from your shared wall.
In case the situation is not resolved, you should keep a dated copy of the note for your records.
2-3. Be honest with yourself about how noisy or bothersome your neighbors are being.
Keep in mind that just because you can hear your neighbors, this doesn't automatically mean that they are being too noisy and that you would be justified in asking them to quiet down. Remember that people do have the right to make noise in their own home.
Of course, what one person finds mildly annoying the next will find unbearable—these are somewhat subjective terms.
In your effort to decide if you really ought to confront your neighbors, ask yourself whether their noise is significantly interfering with your ability to sleep, work, listen to your own programs, etc. If so, then a conversation probably is called for.
If, on the other hand, your only complaint is that you can hear their kids playing in the middle of the afternoon while you are trying to read your novel, your request to make them have their kids knock it off will come off as being overly antagonistic. Perhaps you can just move to a different room or wear earplugs while reading.
3. Involving the Authorities
3-1. Research local noise ordinances.
If talking to your neighbor doesn't work, or if you want to avoiding having a face-to-face conversation altogether, you may need to be prepared to involve the authorities, whether that be the local police, your landlord, or building management. Before you contact them, you'll need to know that your neighbors really are being excessively loud.
Most cities and counties have noise ordinances that outline what acceptable noise levels are, and many also indicate “quiet hours”. These vary from place to place, so you'll want to research the specific rules that apply to your location.
You can do this by going to your county or city's website or your local courthouse. Many libraries also have references available on this topic.
If you live in a neighbor with a Homeowner's Association or in a rental complex, then the contract, lease, or agreement you signed upon moving in most likely contains a noise clause. Consult this document to verify that your neighbors are in violation of it before proceeding to report them.
Some towns/counties have special ordinances about dogs. If your noise issue involves a barking dog, you should research your town's ordinances to see if special rules apply.
3-2. Remind your neighbors of the noise rules.
Before you contact the police or management, it's ideal if you can try to sort things out with your neighbors (of course, we understand that this is not always possible). If possible, provide your neighbors with a copy of the noise ordinances or the appropriate contract or housing agreement that they also signed upon moving in.
You can do this in person or send it to them by mail. This will remind them of the rules and will serve as a warning to them.
Indicate to them that if their noise is not reduced, your next step will be to report them to the authorities.
3-3. Contact the authorities.
If your neighbors do not respond and the on-going problem continues, or even if this is only the first time noise has been a problem but it is out-of-control, you should contact either the local police or your housing management.
You should reserve calling the police for more extreme or on-going instances of noise. Choose this option if the problem has been ongoing and your neighbors have not been receptive to your polite requests and when you are not able to first go to a landlord or Homeowner's Association.
Call the police anytime that the situation looks dangerous or if you suspect that the noise is due to domestic violence or illegal activities. It's very important that you not put yourself in danger, and it's also important that you do what you can to help others that you think may be at risk.
If you do call the police, try to call when the noise issue is ongoing. There will be a better chance that your neighbor will be caught “in the act” and will be warned, given a citation, etc.
Contact your landlord, building management, or the Homeowner's Association for noise problems that are less severe yet still a nuisance.
If your problem involves your neighbor's barking dog, you may want to call Animal Control as opposed to the police (assuming that you haven't been able to work it out with your neighbor already).
3-4. File a lawsuit.
As a very last resort, you can consider filing a lawsuit against your neighbor. Think carefully about this, for you don't want to get into a war with your neighbor, but sometimes this can be the best motivator to get your neighbor to respect your rights.
You may choose to sue either in small claims court, where you can receive money damages.
If you are hoping to have a judge issue a cease-and-desist order to your neighbor, you'll have to file in civil court, and will need to hire a lawyer.
Tips
When talking to your neighbor about your concerns, try to speak on neutral ground, such as a sidewalk or property line.
It's also a good idea to bring a spouse, family member, or friend with you when confronting your neighbor, particularly if you're a bit worried about how the conversation might go.
Warnings
If you are worried about your safety at all, don't confront your neighbor in person. Instead, consider sending them a letter, filing a complaint with your landlord, or calling the police.
If you are a minor, you should not confront your neighbor by yourself. Have your parents or guardians handle the problem for you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Talking Directly to Your Neighbors\\n1-1. Learn what you can about your neighbors.\\nBefore you decide to confront your neighbors about their noise levels, you should try your best to assess their situation, particularly if this noise problem is a new issue. Consider the following sorts of questions, the answers to which might affect whether you decide to talk to them or how you decide to talk to them:\\nDo they have a new baby? If they do, they are surely aware that their infant is wailing and are trying to calm him or her. Indeed, they are most likely more stressed out about the baby's crying than you are. Consider giving it a little bit of time to let the new parents and baby settle into a routine before you decide to talk to them.\\nDo they work nights? If so, there may be no way around them making noise while getting ready for work (showering, going down the stairs, starting their car, etc.) or coming home from their shift. Of course, if they are excessively loud (blasting music while they shower, for example), you may want to talk to them. On the other hand, if the noises they are making are what you would reasonably expect from anyone getting ready for their day, you won't have much of a case.\\nIs their pet a new adoption who hasn't yet had time to adapt to its new home? If so, your neighbors and their pet may just be going through an adjustment period. You may want to consider waiting for a while to see if they manage to get their new pet settled and find strategies for dealing with its noise.\\n1-2. Choose the right time to talk to your neighbor.\\nYou are aiming for the best possible outcome, where your neighbor is receptive and sympathetic to your complaint. Thus, choosing the appropriate time and place to talk things over with them is important.\\nIdeally, you will be able to talk to your neighbor when they are not being noisy or disruptive, especially if the problem occurs in the middle of the night (when no one is at their best) or if you are angry while the noise is going on.\\nTry to pick a time when you are rested and calm, and also when you have reason to believe that your neighbor is similarly rested and won't feel ambushed.\\nOf course, if the noise is unbearable, you may not be able to wait, in which case we give you advice on how to confront them at these times in subsequent steps.\\n1-3. Avoid ambushing your neighbor.\\nIn order to avoid putting your neighbor on the defensive, you should try not to surprise them at an inopportune time or place. It's best to avoid confrontations when it's clear that your neighbor is not prepared for a discussion, and it's even better if you can alert them to your need to talk and arrange for a time that works for both of you.\\nFor example, it's not a good time to confront when your neighbor when she has just gotten home a twelve hour shift, or when she is clearly struggling to get all her kids off to school.\\nRather than demanding that she give you her attention right then and there, you can try something like the following, after you see that she's got everyone buckled in: “Hey Kathy, I see that you're busy right now, but are you free for a short chat later this afternoon? I'd like to talk about some noise issues that I'm sure we'll be able to work out together.”\\n1-4. Be polite, respectful and friendly (if possible).\\nThere may come a time when you have to become more assertive if your neighbors do nothing to reduce their noise, but you don't want to be hostile when you confront them initially. Your neighbors are far more likely to be receptive if you approach them politely and calmly.\\nInstead of banging on their door angrily, or having the first words out of your mouth be “Your d*%$ kids have been keeping me up all night!”, try easing into the conversation by asking them how everything has been going for them lately.\\nIf there is any way for you to compliment them or generally find a way to demonstrate your friendliness and willingness to work with them, then do so. For example, you may be there to talk to them about how their new dog barks while they are out of the house. So long as you aren't allergic and the dog is otherwise well-behaved, give the pup a good pet and compliment the owners on how beautiful she is.\\nYou can then lead into your issue: “Spot is gorgeous and clearly attached to you already. I think that may be related to why I'm here: you may not know it, but when you're out of the house, Spot barks and cries almost continually. I think this may be because she's dealing with separation anxiety. I was hoping we could come up with a plan to address that today.”\\n1-5. Let your neighbor know how you are being affected.\\nIf you can find ways to make your neighbor be sympathetic towards you, it is more likely that they will take your complaints seriously and commit to reducing their noise levels for your benefit.\\nOnce you've explained to your neighbor what activity or behavior of theirs is disturbing you, make sure that you clearly explain how it is negatively affecting you. Demonstrate to them that your problem isn't with them, but that it is with the noise and how it is interfering with your life.\\nFor example, if their music is keeping you up at night, try the following: “Chris, you clearly have excellent taste in music—I'd like to get that playlist from you if I can—but the walls between our apartment are pretty thin, and I've been having a really hard time getting to sleep because of it. I've got to get up early for work, so this is becoming an issue.”\\n1-6. Suggest a plan.\\nRather than just demanding that your neighbors shut up or stop making noise altogether, it will help if you are prepared with a plan. Be sure to let your neighbor know how you would like the situation to be resolved. Try to offer a reasonable plan that acknowledges your neighbor's right to live their own life in their own home.\\nFor example, if your issue is that your neighbor's dog has been barking while they are out, you can suggest that they crate the dog at certain times or place it in a different room in the house when they are out.\\nYou could also suggest that they shut their blinds and curtains and leave the television or radio on when they are out (which can reduce the dog's distractions and thus hopefully its barking).\\nIf your neighbor's music has been keeping you up, rather than just demanding that they turn it off, you could try the following suggestion: “Given that I try to be asleep by 10pm would you be willing to turn the music off or switch to using headphones by then?”\\n2. Avoiding a Confrontation\\n2-1. Be proactive and try to avoid noise problems.\\nEveryone has neighbors who are noisy from time to time, and we are generally able to accommodate for this with little difficultly. However, you may have something big coming up such as a job interview or a change in work schedule, and are worried that your neighbor's noise may become a problem for you.\\nIf this is the case, it's better to be proactive and let your neighbors know ahead of time that you'll need a bit more quiet than normal.\\nFor example, in the days before your important event or schedule change, stop by your neighbor's with a plate of homemade cookies and try the following: “Hey Sam, I've got final exams all next week, and will need extra quiet time. Would you mind rescheduling your band's practice on those days, or maybe even temporarily moving it to a different location? It would help so much.”\\n2-2. Write them a note.\\nWhile talking to your neighbors directly is probably the most mature strategy, and is often the most effective—particularly if you are able to connect with them personally and get them to sympathize with your predicament—there may be times when you'd feel more comfortable writing them.\\nIf you don't know your neighbors at all or if your schedules don't line up to where you ever see them outside of their home (at the mailbox, in the driveway, etc.), then leaving them a very politely worded note in their mailbox or on their door could be an effective way to alert them to the problem.\\nMake sure that your note explains specifically what the problem is: For example, explain that you can hear their television at 11pm when you are trying to get to sleep, and note that it is loud enough that you can hear all of the dialogue on the program.\\nBe sure to offer a proposed solution in your note: For example, suggest that they reduce the volume by a third, or ask that they move the television to the opposite side of the room, away from your shared wall.\\nIn case the situation is not resolved, you should keep a dated copy of the note for your records.\\n2-3. Be honest with yourself about how noisy or bothersome your neighbors are being.\\nKeep in mind that just because you can hear your neighbors, this doesn't automatically mean that they are being too noisy and that you would be justified in asking them to quiet down. Remember that people do have the right to make noise in their own home.\\nOf course, what one person finds mildly annoying the next will find unbearable—these are somewhat subjective terms.\\nIn your effort to decide if you really ought to confront your neighbors, ask yourself whether their noise is significantly interfering with your ability to sleep, work, listen to your own programs, etc. If so, then a conversation probably is called for.\\nIf, on the other hand, your only complaint is that you can hear their kids playing in the middle of the afternoon while you are trying to read your novel, your request to make them have their kids knock it off will come off as being overly antagonistic. Perhaps you can just move to a different room or wear earplugs while reading.\\n3. Involving the Authorities\\n3-1. Research local noise ordinances.\\nIf talking to your neighbor doesn't work, or if you want to avoiding having a face-to-face conversation altogether, you may need to be prepared to involve the authorities, whether that be the local police, your landlord, or building management. Before you contact them, you'll need to know that your neighbors really are being excessively loud.\\nMost cities and counties have noise ordinances that outline what acceptable noise levels are, and many also indicate “quiet hours”. These vary from place to place, so you'll want to research the specific rules that apply to your location.\\nYou can do this by going to your county or city's website or your local courthouse. Many libraries also have references available on this topic.\\nIf you live in a neighbor with a Homeowner's Association or in a rental complex, then the contract, lease, or agreement you signed upon moving in most likely contains a noise clause. Consult this document to verify that your neighbors are in violation of it before proceeding to report them.\\nSome towns/counties have special ordinances about dogs. If your noise issue involves a barking dog, you should research your town's ordinances to see if special rules apply.\\n3-2. Remind your neighbors of the noise rules.\\nBefore you contact the police or management, it's ideal if you can try to sort things out with your neighbors (of course, we understand that this is not always possible). If possible, provide your neighbors with a copy of the noise ordinances or the appropriate contract or housing agreement that they also signed upon moving in.\\nYou can do this in person or send it to them by mail. This will remind them of the rules and will serve as a warning to them.\\nIndicate to them that if their noise is not reduced, your next step will be to report them to the authorities.\\n3-3. Contact the authorities.\\nIf your neighbors do not respond and the on-going problem continues, or even if this is only the first time noise has been a problem but it is out-of-control, you should contact either the local police or your housing management.\\nYou should reserve calling the police for more extreme or on-going instances of noise. Choose this option if the problem has been ongoing and your neighbors have not been receptive to your polite requests and when you are not able to first go to a landlord or Homeowner's Association.\\nCall the police anytime that the situation looks dangerous or if you suspect that the noise is due to domestic violence or illegal activities. It's very important that you not put yourself in danger, and it's also important that you do what you can to help others that you think may be at risk.\\nIf you do call the police, try to call when the noise issue is ongoing. There will be a better chance that your neighbor will be caught “in the act” and will be warned, given a citation, etc.\\nContact your landlord, building management, or the Homeowner's Association for noise problems that are less severe yet still a nuisance.\\nIf your problem involves your neighbor's barking dog, you may want to call Animal Control as opposed to the police (assuming that you haven't been able to work it out with your neighbor already).\\n3-4. File a lawsuit.\\nAs a very last resort, you can consider filing a lawsuit against your neighbor. Think carefully about this, for you don't want to get into a war with your neighbor, but sometimes this can be the best motivator to get your neighbor to respect your rights.\\nYou may choose to sue either in small claims court, where you can receive money damages.\\nIf you are hoping to have a judge issue a cease-and-desist order to your neighbor, you'll have to file in civil court, and will need to hire a lawyer.\\nTips\\nWhen talking to your neighbor about your concerns, try to speak on neutral ground, such as a sidewalk or property line.\\nIt's also a good idea to bring a spouse, family member, or friend with you when confronting your neighbor, particularly if you're a bit worried about how the conversation might go.\\nWarnings\\nIf you are worried about your safety at all, don't confront your neighbor in person. Instead, consider sending them a letter, filing a complaint with your landlord, or calling the police.\\nIf you are a minor, you should not confront your neighbor by yourself. Have your parents or guardians handle the problem for you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's midnight and you have to be up for work in five hours, but your neighbor's stereo has been blasting for the last two hours, just like it has every night for the past week. Or maybe you've been trying to focus on an important project, but the dog next door always barks for a long time. What should you do?! You don't want to start a war, but you need some peace and quiet pronto! Follow our advice on how to successfully ask your neighbors to reduce their noise.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talking Directly to Your Neighbors\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn what you can about your neighbors.\", \"描述\": \"Before you decide to confront your neighbors about their noise levels, you should try your best to assess their situation, particularly if this noise problem is a new issue. Consider the following sorts of questions, the answers to which might affect whether you decide to talk to them or how you decide to talk to them:\\nDo they have a new baby? If they do, they are surely aware that their infant is wailing and are trying to calm him or her. Indeed, they are most likely more stressed out about the baby's crying than you are. Consider giving it a little bit of time to let the new parents and baby settle into a routine before you decide to talk to them.\\nDo they work nights? If so, there may be no way around them making noise while getting ready for work (showering, going down the stairs, starting their car, etc.) or coming home from their shift. Of course, if they are excessively loud (blasting music while they shower, for example), you may want to talk to them. On the other hand, if the noises they are making are what you would reasonably expect from anyone getting ready for their day, you won't have much of a case.\\nIs their pet a new adoption who hasn't yet had time to adapt to its new home? If so, your neighbors and their pet may just be going through an adjustment period. You may want to consider waiting for a while to see if they manage to get their new pet settled and find strategies for dealing with its noise.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose the right time to talk to your neighbor.\", \"描述\": \"You are aiming for the best possible outcome, where your neighbor is receptive and sympathetic to your complaint. Thus, choosing the appropriate time and place to talk things over with them is important.\\nIdeally, you will be able to talk to your neighbor when they are not being noisy or disruptive, especially if the problem occurs in the middle of the night (when no one is at their best) or if you are angry while the noise is going on.\\nTry to pick a time when you are rested and calm, and also when you have reason to believe that your neighbor is similarly rested and won't feel ambushed.\\nOf course, if the noise is unbearable, you may not be able to wait, in which case we give you advice on how to confront them at these times in subsequent steps.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid ambushing your neighbor.\", \"描述\": \"In order to avoid putting your neighbor on the defensive, you should try not to surprise them at an inopportune time or place. It's best to avoid confrontations when it's clear that your neighbor is not prepared for a discussion, and it's even better if you can alert them to your need to talk and arrange for a time that works for both of you.\\nFor example, it's not a good time to confront when your neighbor when she has just gotten home a twelve hour shift, or when she is clearly struggling to get all her kids off to school.\\nRather than demanding that she give you her attention right then and there, you can try something like the following, after you see that she's got everyone buckled in: “Hey Kathy, I see that you're busy right now, but are you free for a short chat later this afternoon? I'd like to talk about some noise issues that I'm sure we'll be able to work out together.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite, respectful and friendly (if possible).\", \"描述\": \"There may come a time when you have to become more assertive if your neighbors do nothing to reduce their noise, but you don't want to be hostile when you confront them initially. Your neighbors are far more likely to be receptive if you approach them politely and calmly.\\nInstead of banging on their door angrily, or having the first words out of your mouth be “Your d*%$ kids have been keeping me up all night!”, try easing into the conversation by asking them how everything has been going for them lately.\\nIf there is any way for you to compliment them or generally find a way to demonstrate your friendliness and willingness to work with them, then do so. For example, you may be there to talk to them about how their new dog barks while they are out of the house. So long as you aren't allergic and the dog is otherwise well-behaved, give the pup a good pet and compliment the owners on how beautiful she is.\\nYou can then lead into your issue: “Spot is gorgeous and clearly attached to you already. I think that may be related to why I'm here: you may not know it, but when you're out of the house, Spot barks and cries almost continually. I think this may be because she's dealing with separation anxiety. I was hoping we could come up with a plan to address that today.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let your neighbor know how you are being affected.\", \"描述\": \"If you can find ways to make your neighbor be sympathetic towards you, it is more likely that they will take your complaints seriously and commit to reducing their noise levels for your benefit.\\nOnce you've explained to your neighbor what activity or behavior of theirs is disturbing you, make sure that you clearly explain how it is negatively affecting you. Demonstrate to them that your problem isn't with them, but that it is with the noise and how it is interfering with your life.\\nFor example, if their music is keeping you up at night, try the following: “Chris, you clearly have excellent taste in music—I'd like to get that playlist from you if I can—but the walls between our apartment are pretty thin, and I've been having a really hard time getting to sleep because of it. I've got to get up early for work, so this is becoming an issue.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Suggest a plan.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than just demanding that your neighbors shut up or stop making noise altogether, it will help if you are prepared with a plan. Be sure to let your neighbor know how you would like the situation to be resolved. Try to offer a reasonable plan that acknowledges your neighbor's right to live their own life in their own home.\\nFor example, if your issue is that your neighbor's dog has been barking while they are out, you can suggest that they crate the dog at certain times or place it in a different room in the house when they are out.\\nYou could also suggest that they shut their blinds and curtains and leave the television or radio on when they are out (which can reduce the dog's distractions and thus hopefully its barking).\\nIf your neighbor's music has been keeping you up, rather than just demanding that they turn it off, you could try the following suggestion: “Given that I try to be asleep by 10pm would you be willing to turn the music off or switch to using headphones by then?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoiding a Confrontation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be proactive and try to avoid noise problems.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone has neighbors who are noisy from time to time, and we are generally able to accommodate for this with little difficultly. However, you may have something big coming up such as a job interview or a change in work schedule, and are worried that your neighbor's noise may become a problem for you.\\nIf this is the case, it's better to be proactive and let your neighbors know ahead of time that you'll need a bit more quiet than normal.\\nFor example, in the days before your important event or schedule change, stop by your neighbor's with a plate of homemade cookies and try the following: “Hey Sam, I've got final exams all next week, and will need extra quiet time. Would you mind rescheduling your band's practice on those days, or maybe even temporarily moving it to a different location? It would help so much.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write them a note.\", \"描述\": \"While talking to your neighbors directly is probably the most mature strategy, and is often the most effective—particularly if you are able to connect with them personally and get them to sympathize with your predicament—there may be times when you'd feel more comfortable writing them.\\nIf you don't know your neighbors at all or if your schedules don't line up to where you ever see them outside of their home (at the mailbox, in the driveway, etc.), then leaving them a very politely worded note in their mailbox or on their door could be an effective way to alert them to the problem.\\nMake sure that your note explains specifically what the problem is: For example, explain that you can hear their television at 11pm when you are trying to get to sleep, and note that it is loud enough that you can hear all of the dialogue on the program.\\nBe sure to offer a proposed solution in your note: For example, suggest that they reduce the volume by a third, or ask that they move the television to the opposite side of the room, away from your shared wall.\\nIn case the situation is not resolved, you should keep a dated copy of the note for your records.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest with yourself about how noisy or bothersome your neighbors are being.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that just because you can hear your neighbors, this doesn't automatically mean that they are being too noisy and that you would be justified in asking them to quiet down. Remember that people do have the right to make noise in their own home.\\nOf course, what one person finds mildly annoying the next will find unbearable—these are somewhat subjective terms.\\nIn your effort to decide if you really ought to confront your neighbors, ask yourself whether their noise is significantly interfering with your ability to sleep, work, listen to your own programs, etc. If so, then a conversation probably is called for.\\nIf, on the other hand, your only complaint is that you can hear their kids playing in the middle of the afternoon while you are trying to read your novel, your request to make them have their kids knock it off will come off as being overly antagonistic. Perhaps you can just move to a different room or wear earplugs while reading.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Involving the Authorities\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Research local noise ordinances.\", \"描述\": \"If talking to your neighbor doesn't work, or if you want to avoiding having a face-to-face conversation altogether, you may need to be prepared to involve the authorities, whether that be the local police, your landlord, or building management. Before you contact them, you'll need to know that your neighbors really are being excessively loud.\\nMost cities and counties have noise ordinances that outline what acceptable noise levels are, and many also indicate “quiet hours”. These vary from place to place, so you'll want to research the specific rules that apply to your location.\\nYou can do this by going to your county or city's website or your local courthouse. Many libraries also have references available on this topic.\\nIf you live in a neighbor with a Homeowner's Association or in a rental complex, then the contract, lease, or agreement you signed upon moving in most likely contains a noise clause. Consult this document to verify that your neighbors are in violation of it before proceeding to report them.\\nSome towns/counties have special ordinances about dogs. If your noise issue involves a barking dog, you should research your town's ordinances to see if special rules apply.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remind your neighbors of the noise rules.\", \"描述\": \"Before you contact the police or management, it's ideal if you can try to sort things out with your neighbors (of course, we understand that this is not always possible). If possible, provide your neighbors with a copy of the noise ordinances or the appropriate contract or housing agreement that they also signed upon moving in.\\nYou can do this in person or send it to them by mail. This will remind them of the rules and will serve as a warning to them.\\nIndicate to them that if their noise is not reduced, your next step will be to report them to the authorities.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contact the authorities.\", \"描述\": \"If your neighbors do not respond and the on-going problem continues, or even if this is only the first time noise has been a problem but it is out-of-control, you should contact either the local police or your housing management.\\nYou should reserve calling the police for more extreme or on-going instances of noise. Choose this option if the problem has been ongoing and your neighbors have not been receptive to your polite requests and when you are not able to first go to a landlord or Homeowner's Association.\\nCall the police anytime that the situation looks dangerous or if you suspect that the noise is due to domestic violence or illegal activities. It's very important that you not put yourself in danger, and it's also important that you do what you can to help others that you think may be at risk.\\nIf you do call the police, try to call when the noise issue is ongoing. There will be a better chance that your neighbor will be caught “in the act” and will be warned, given a citation, etc.\\nContact your landlord, building management, or the Homeowner's Association for noise problems that are less severe yet still a nuisance.\\nIf your problem involves your neighbor's barking dog, you may want to call Animal Control as opposed to the police (assuming that you haven't been able to work it out with your neighbor already).\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"File a lawsuit.\", \"描述\": \"As a very last resort, you can consider filing a lawsuit against your neighbor. Think carefully about this, for you don't want to get into a war with your neighbor, but sometimes this can be the best motivator to get your neighbor to respect your rights.\\nYou may choose to sue either in small claims court, where you can receive money damages.\\nIf you are hoping to have a judge issue a cease-and-desist order to your neighbor, you'll have to file in civil court, and will need to hire a lawyer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When talking to your neighbor about your concerns, try to speak on neutral ground, such as a sidewalk or property line.\\n\", \"It's also a good idea to bring a spouse, family member, or friend with you when confronting your neighbor, particularly if you're a bit worried about how the conversation might go.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If you are worried about your safety at all, don't confront your neighbor in person. Instead, consider sending them a letter, filing a complaint with your landlord, or calling the police.\\n\", \"If you are a minor, you should not confront your neighbor by yourself. Have your parents or guardians handle the problem for you.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,516 | How to Ask Your Parents for Money | 1. Preparing to Ask
1-1. Consider your track record.
Do you lean on your parents for a lot of different favors, or are you mostly independent? You parents may be more likely to give you what you want if you have a track record of being pretty self-sufficient. If you've already asked for money several times, you constantly borrow their car(s), and you don't help out much around the house, they may not be in the mood to give you the cash.
If you feel your track record is a little shaky, make an effort to improve it before you ask. If you live at home, you could cook them dinner, wash their car, and do other chores around the house.
If you don't live at home, find other ways to brighten their days from afar. Be responsive when they call and let them into your life. You don't want to call them out of the blue for the first time in months just to ask for money.
1-2. Have a good reason.
If your reason is well thought out and concrete, your parents will be more responsive. Think about exactly what you need the money for, and why. Get ready to make a case for yourself that will have your parents feeling happy to loan you the money.
For example, let's say you want the money for a new computer. Your parents will be more likely to give you money to buy it if you tell them it will help you excel at your new job or do better in school, rather than just saying you want a computer.
If you need the money for a basic necessity, like paying rent or buying food, be honest about why you're in this situation. Your situation will probably tug on your parents' heartstrings and they'll be likely to help you.
1-3. Show that you're doing your part.
You might get further if you come up with a way to pay for at least part of what you need. Save up as much as you can toward the total sum you need, so you can ask your parents to help you pay for the rest. They'll see that you're working hard to pay what you can and might be more likely to help you out.
1-4. Come up with a reasonable sum.
Research the price of what you need and come up with an accurate number you can share with your parents. Be sure you're able to account for the total amount of money you're asking for, so your parents won't feel you're taking advantage of them. If you're straightforward and honest, they may even throw in a little extra.
1-5. Plan how you'll pay it back.
If you're asking for a loan, not a gift, your parents will be more likely to loan you the money if you have an established plan for paying them back. Calculate the amount of time it will take you to save up the money so you can give them a projected due date. Whether it's a month from now or a year from now, your parents will want to know.
You could offer to set up a payment plan and pay your parents back in installments. That way you won't have to pay everything at once, and it might feel easier to get the money back to them on time.
If you don't plan to pay them back, don't tell them you're going to. It's better to be honest about your intentions. If you ever find yourself in need of money again, you'll want your parents to remember that you paid them back last time.
2. Having the Conversation
2-1. Have a polite conversation.
Arrange a time to sit down with your parents and ask for the money. You want your parents to know that you aren't taking this situation lightly, and you'd only be asking if you needed it. You'll come across as more serious and sincere if you set up a time beforehand, rather than having a quick phone call or just casually asking for the money in passing.
2-2. Lay out your plan.
Depending on how large a sum you're asking for, you might want to bring some paperwork to your discussion with your parents. Show them how you calculated the exact amount that you need. Indicate how much you've been able to save to pay for the item, then ask for the remaining amount.
If you're asking for money for a specific item, find it online and print out the price.
If you'd like extra money you can use as a cushion, be upfront about that. Tell them that if they give you a certain amount now, you'll be able to get on your feet and won't have to ask again.
If you're going to pay them back, you might want to provide a printed installment plan or schedule they can keep. This shows that you're serious about making good on your promise.
2-3. Make sure they can afford it.
You probably have a fairly good picture of what your parents' finances are like. Still, it's better not to assume they can give or even loan you a large amount of money. Ask them if they feel comfortable with the amount you're asking for. They may tell you they simply can't afford it, or that they'd be able to give you a partial amount.
2-4. Accept their stipulations.
Asking for money is a big favor, and your parents are entitled to making a few stipulations. They may say that they'll give you just a part of what you're asking for, or perhaps they'll say they can loan you the money if you pay it back within a short time. Your first inclination might be to get upset or angry that they didn't give you what you wanted with no strings attached. However, if you want or need the money, you'll have to accept what comes with it.
It's possible that your parents will decline to give you the money. If that's the case, see if there's anything you can do to make them feel better about giving it to you. Is there a chore or job you could do in exchange for the money? See if you can make repairs, do the grocery shopping, or help out in some other way. If your parents see that they are gaining something valuable in return, perhaps they will be more willing to give you money.
If they still won't budge, don't beg. Instead, try to find another way to get money. If you show your parents you're resourceful, they may even decide to help you out.
Do not demand, either. Stay polite and respectful.
2-5. Say thank you.
If your parents decide to give you the money, it's in your best interest to tell them thanks. If you're over eighteen, your parents are no longer obligated to support you financially, so the money they hand over is a gift. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even write them a thank-you note. Your attitude will make them feel more willing to help you out in the future.
3. Following Up
3-1. Pay them back if you said you would.
Once the money is in your pocket, you'll feel relief that you can pay for what you need. But don't forget to start saving money so you can pay your parents back if that was part of the bargain you struck with them. Keeping up your end will make your parents feel better about having loaned you money. Also, you'll feel better when you are no longer beholden to them.
3-2. Think about ways to avoid this situation in the future.
While there's nothing wrong with asking your parents for money, it's not a situation you want to be in forever. Your parents need to save for retirement, and you need to feel independent and financially secure in your own right. Even if your parents say yes every time, take steps toward earning enough money to meet your own needs, so asking for money doesn't become a habit.
3-3. See about finding another source of money next time.
Think about how it felt to ask your parents for money. Was it a positive or negative experience? If it was positive, you're lucky; you've got very supportive parents. However, in some cases, there are drawbacks to asking parents for money. While parents might say yes when you ask, they may also cause you to feel guilty or childish for asking. Asking family members for money can be emotionally loaded. If you ever need extra money again, consider these other options:
If you're in school, see if you can take an on-campus job or get an emergency loan from the financial aid office.
If you have a job, see if you can get an advance on your paycheck to cover emergency bills.
If you're having trouble paying loans, meet with your bank to work out a sustainable payment plan based on your income.
Tips
If they refuse, don't throw a temper tantrum, as this ruins all chances of receiving money from them in the future.
You could do extra work around the house to earn the money.
Make sure that the item that you want to buy has benefits.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Ask\\n1-1. Consider your track record.\\nDo you lean on your parents for a lot of different favors, or are you mostly independent? You parents may be more likely to give you what you want if you have a track record of being pretty self-sufficient. If you've already asked for money several times, you constantly borrow their car(s), and you don't help out much around the house, they may not be in the mood to give you the cash.\\nIf you feel your track record is a little shaky, make an effort to improve it before you ask. If you live at home, you could cook them dinner, wash their car, and do other chores around the house.\\nIf you don't live at home, find other ways to brighten their days from afar. Be responsive when they call and let them into your life. You don't want to call them out of the blue for the first time in months just to ask for money.\\n1-2. Have a good reason.\\nIf your reason is well thought out and concrete, your parents will be more responsive. Think about exactly what you need the money for, and why. Get ready to make a case for yourself that will have your parents feeling happy to loan you the money.\\nFor example, let's say you want the money for a new computer. Your parents will be more likely to give you money to buy it if you tell them it will help you excel at your new job or do better in school, rather than just saying you want a computer.\\nIf you need the money for a basic necessity, like paying rent or buying food, be honest about why you're in this situation. Your situation will probably tug on your parents' heartstrings and they'll be likely to help you.\\n1-3. Show that you're doing your part.\\nYou might get further if you come up with a way to pay for at least part of what you need. Save up as much as you can toward the total sum you need, so you can ask your parents to help you pay for the rest. They'll see that you're working hard to pay what you can and might be more likely to help you out.\\n1-4. Come up with a reasonable sum.\\nResearch the price of what you need and come up with an accurate number you can share with your parents. Be sure you're able to account for the total amount of money you're asking for, so your parents won't feel you're taking advantage of them. If you're straightforward and honest, they may even throw in a little extra.\\n1-5. Plan how you'll pay it back.\\nIf you're asking for a loan, not a gift, your parents will be more likely to loan you the money if you have an established plan for paying them back. Calculate the amount of time it will take you to save up the money so you can give them a projected due date. Whether it's a month from now or a year from now, your parents will want to know.\\nYou could offer to set up a payment plan and pay your parents back in installments. That way you won't have to pay everything at once, and it might feel easier to get the money back to them on time.\\nIf you don't plan to pay them back, don't tell them you're going to. It's better to be honest about your intentions. If you ever find yourself in need of money again, you'll want your parents to remember that you paid them back last time.\\n2. Having the Conversation\\n2-1. Have a polite conversation.\\nArrange a time to sit down with your parents and ask for the money. You want your parents to know that you aren't taking this situation lightly, and you'd only be asking if you needed it. You'll come across as more serious and sincere if you set up a time beforehand, rather than having a quick phone call or just casually asking for the money in passing.\\n2-2. Lay out your plan.\\nDepending on how large a sum you're asking for, you might want to bring some paperwork to your discussion with your parents. Show them how you calculated the exact amount that you need. Indicate how much you've been able to save to pay for the item, then ask for the remaining amount.\\nIf you're asking for money for a specific item, find it online and print out the price.\\nIf you'd like extra money you can use as a cushion, be upfront about that. Tell them that if they give you a certain amount now, you'll be able to get on your feet and won't have to ask again.\\nIf you're going to pay them back, you might want to provide a printed installment plan or schedule they can keep. This shows that you're serious about making good on your promise.\\n2-3. Make sure they can afford it.\\nYou probably have a fairly good picture of what your parents' finances are like. Still, it's better not to assume they can give or even loan you a large amount of money. Ask them if they feel comfortable with the amount you're asking for. They may tell you they simply can't afford it, or that they'd be able to give you a partial amount.\\n2-4. Accept their stipulations.\\nAsking for money is a big favor, and your parents are entitled to making a few stipulations. They may say that they'll give you just a part of what you're asking for, or perhaps they'll say they can loan you the money if you pay it back within a short time. Your first inclination might be to get upset or angry that they didn't give you what you wanted with no strings attached. However, if you want or need the money, you'll have to accept what comes with it.\\nIt's possible that your parents will decline to give you the money. If that's the case, see if there's anything you can do to make them feel better about giving it to you. Is there a chore or job you could do in exchange for the money? See if you can make repairs, do the grocery shopping, or help out in some other way. If your parents see that they are gaining something valuable in return, perhaps they will be more willing to give you money.\\nIf they still won't budge, don't beg. Instead, try to find another way to get money. If you show your parents you're resourceful, they may even decide to help you out.\\nDo not demand, either. Stay polite and respectful.\\n2-5. Say thank you.\\nIf your parents decide to give you the money, it's in your best interest to tell them thanks. If you're over eighteen, your parents are no longer obligated to support you financially, so the money they hand over is a gift. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even write them a thank-you note. Your attitude will make them feel more willing to help you out in the future.\\n3. Following Up\\n3-1. Pay them back if you said you would.\\nOnce the money is in your pocket, you'll feel relief that you can pay for what you need. But don't forget to start saving money so you can pay your parents back if that was part of the bargain you struck with them. Keeping up your end will make your parents feel better about having loaned you money. Also, you'll feel better when you are no longer beholden to them.\\n3-2. Think about ways to avoid this situation in the future.\\nWhile there's nothing wrong with asking your parents for money, it's not a situation you want to be in forever. Your parents need to save for retirement, and you need to feel independent and financially secure in your own right. Even if your parents say yes every time, take steps toward earning enough money to meet your own needs, so asking for money doesn't become a habit.\\n3-3. See about finding another source of money next time.\\nThink about how it felt to ask your parents for money. Was it a positive or negative experience? If it was positive, you're lucky; you've got very supportive parents. However, in some cases, there are drawbacks to asking parents for money. While parents might say yes when you ask, they may also cause you to feel guilty or childish for asking. Asking family members for money can be emotionally loaded. If you ever need extra money again, consider these other options:\\nIf you're in school, see if you can take an on-campus job or get an emergency loan from the financial aid office.\\nIf you have a job, see if you can get an advance on your paycheck to cover emergency bills.\\nIf you're having trouble paying loans, meet with your bank to work out a sustainable payment plan based on your income.\\nTips\\nIf they refuse, don't throw a temper tantrum, as this ruins all chances of receiving money from them in the future.\\nYou could do extra work around the house to earn the money.\\nMake sure that the item that you want to buy has benefits.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Many parents will do almost anything to help their kids, including giving them money when they're in a bind. If you have a good reason for asking and your parents can afford it, asking politely and presenting a plan to pay them back will probably win them over. Expressing gratitude and following through on your promises will keep you in good standing and make them more likely to lend you money if you ever need it again.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider your track record.\", \"描述\": \"Do you lean on your parents for a lot of different favors, or are you mostly independent? You parents may be more likely to give you what you want if you have a track record of being pretty self-sufficient. If you've already asked for money several times, you constantly borrow their car(s), and you don't help out much around the house, they may not be in the mood to give you the cash.\\nIf you feel your track record is a little shaky, make an effort to improve it before you ask. If you live at home, you could cook them dinner, wash their car, and do other chores around the house.\\nIf you don't live at home, find other ways to brighten their days from afar. Be responsive when they call and let them into your life. You don't want to call them out of the blue for the first time in months just to ask for money.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a good reason.\", \"描述\": \"If your reason is well thought out and concrete, your parents will be more responsive. Think about exactly what you need the money for, and why. Get ready to make a case for yourself that will have your parents feeling happy to loan you the money.\\nFor example, let's say you want the money for a new computer. Your parents will be more likely to give you money to buy it if you tell them it will help you excel at your new job or do better in school, rather than just saying you want a computer.\\nIf you need the money for a basic necessity, like paying rent or buying food, be honest about why you're in this situation. Your situation will probably tug on your parents' heartstrings and they'll be likely to help you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show that you're doing your part.\", \"描述\": \"You might get further if you come up with a way to pay for at least part of what you need. Save up as much as you can toward the total sum you need, so you can ask your parents to help you pay for the rest. They'll see that you're working hard to pay what you can and might be more likely to help you out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Come up with a reasonable sum.\", \"描述\": \"Research the price of what you need and come up with an accurate number you can share with your parents. Be sure you're able to account for the total amount of money you're asking for, so your parents won't feel you're taking advantage of them. If you're straightforward and honest, they may even throw in a little extra.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan how you'll pay it back.\", \"描述\": \"If you're asking for a loan, not a gift, your parents will be more likely to loan you the money if you have an established plan for paying them back. Calculate the amount of time it will take you to save up the money so you can give them a projected due date. Whether it's a month from now or a year from now, your parents will want to know.\\nYou could offer to set up a payment plan and pay your parents back in installments. That way you won't have to pay everything at once, and it might feel easier to get the money back to them on time.\\nIf you don't plan to pay them back, don't tell them you're going to. It's better to be honest about your intentions. If you ever find yourself in need of money again, you'll want your parents to remember that you paid them back last time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have a polite conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Arrange a time to sit down with your parents and ask for the money. You want your parents to know that you aren't taking this situation lightly, and you'd only be asking if you needed it. You'll come across as more serious and sincere if you set up a time beforehand, rather than having a quick phone call or just casually asking for the money in passing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Lay out your plan.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on how large a sum you're asking for, you might want to bring some paperwork to your discussion with your parents. Show them how you calculated the exact amount that you need. Indicate how much you've been able to save to pay for the item, then ask for the remaining amount.\\nIf you're asking for money for a specific item, find it online and print out the price.\\nIf you'd like extra money you can use as a cushion, be upfront about that. Tell them that if they give you a certain amount now, you'll be able to get on your feet and won't have to ask again.\\nIf you're going to pay them back, you might want to provide a printed installment plan or schedule they can keep. This shows that you're serious about making good on your promise.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure they can afford it.\", \"描述\": \"You probably have a fairly good picture of what your parents' finances are like. Still, it's better not to assume they can give or even loan you a large amount of money. Ask them if they feel comfortable with the amount you're asking for. They may tell you they simply can't afford it, or that they'd be able to give you a partial amount.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept their stipulations.\", \"描述\": \"Asking for money is a big favor, and your parents are entitled to making a few stipulations. They may say that they'll give you just a part of what you're asking for, or perhaps they'll say they can loan you the money if you pay it back within a short time. Your first inclination might be to get upset or angry that they didn't give you what you wanted with no strings attached. However, if you want or need the money, you'll have to accept what comes with it.\\nIt's possible that your parents will decline to give you the money. If that's the case, see if there's anything you can do to make them feel better about giving it to you. Is there a chore or job you could do in exchange for the money? See if you can make repairs, do the grocery shopping, or help out in some other way. If your parents see that they are gaining something valuable in return, perhaps they will be more willing to give you money.\\nIf they still won't budge, don't beg. Instead, try to find another way to get money. If you show your parents you're resourceful, they may even decide to help you out.\\nDo not demand, either. Stay polite and respectful.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Say thank you.\", \"描述\": \"If your parents decide to give you the money, it's in your best interest to tell them thanks. If you're over eighteen, your parents are no longer obligated to support you financially, so the money they hand over is a gift. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even write them a thank-you note. Your attitude will make them feel more willing to help you out in the future.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Following Up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay them back if you said you would.\", \"描述\": \"Once the money is in your pocket, you'll feel relief that you can pay for what you need. But don't forget to start saving money so you can pay your parents back if that was part of the bargain you struck with them. Keeping up your end will make your parents feel better about having loaned you money. Also, you'll feel better when you are no longer beholden to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think about ways to avoid this situation in the future.\", \"描述\": \"While there's nothing wrong with asking your parents for money, it's not a situation you want to be in forever. Your parents need to save for retirement, and you need to feel independent and financially secure in your own right. Even if your parents say yes every time, take steps toward earning enough money to meet your own needs, so asking for money doesn't become a habit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See about finding another source of money next time.\", \"描述\": \"Think about how it felt to ask your parents for money. Was it a positive or negative experience? If it was positive, you're lucky; you've got very supportive parents. However, in some cases, there are drawbacks to asking parents for money. While parents might say yes when you ask, they may also cause you to feel guilty or childish for asking. Asking family members for money can be emotionally loaded. If you ever need extra money again, consider these other options:\\nIf you're in school, see if you can take an on-campus job or get an emergency loan from the financial aid office.\\nIf you have a job, see if you can get an advance on your paycheck to cover emergency bills.\\nIf you're having trouble paying loans, meet with your bank to work out a sustainable payment plan based on your income.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If they refuse, don't throw a temper tantrum, as this ruins all chances of receiving money from them in the future.\\n\", \"You could do extra work around the house to earn the money.\\n\", \"Make sure that the item that you want to buy has benefits.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,517 | How to Ask Your Parents for a Chest Binder | 1. Preparing to Ask Them
1-1. Do your research on binders.
The internet is your best friend here. Look up how to clean a binder, safely use one, and find a reliable one. Figure out which type of binder you want and know the risks of using one. Check out these resources on how to use binders:
Insider: How to Bind Your Chest According to Experts
Minus18: How to Bind Your Chest Safely and Healthily
Chest Binding: Tips and Tricks for Trans Men, Nonbinary, and Genderfluid people
1-2. Measure yourself.
In order to find a binder that properly fits you, you need to measure. Measuring your chest and body will likely be hard and cause dysphoria. Take breaks in-between measuring if you need to.
1-3. Look for a quality binder.
buy a $5 binder from an unverified website. Those are dangerous and binders under $15 dollars are make out of cheap material and are not safe. It's a much better idea to spend the extra $20 to ensure that you have something that will not harm you. Websites with safe, quality binders include:
gc2b
TomboyX
Underworks
1-4. Know how to properly use a binder.
It's essential to know how to use a binder properly before asking your parents for one. Here are basic do's and dont's for wearing a binder:
Never sleep in a binder.
Don't wear your binder for more than 8 hours a day.
Don't swim in your binder unless it's specifically for swimming.
Never exercise in a binder.
1-5. Make sure you know how to clean a binder.
Knowing how to wash a binder and keep it clean is part of having a binder. This is also part of showing that you're responsible and know how to care for your binder.
1-6. Be sure that your parent(s) knows about your gender identity.
It's ideal if your parents already know about your gender identity before asking for a binder, since being trans and wearing a binder correlate to each other. It might be more confusing for your parents to understand why you want a chest binder if you haven't already come out as trans.
Here is a guide on how to come out as trans, or how to come out as nonbinary.
1-7. Show that you're responsible beforehand.
Prove that you are responsible of having a binder and that you can take good care of it. Do your chores, try to do well in school, and do things without asking. This will show that you can manage having a binder and be safe with it.
2. Creating a Convincing Argument
2-1. Explain what a binder is.
A binder is for anyone who wants to flatten the appearance of their chest. A chest binder is often used by trans guys, nonbinary people, and genderfluid people. However, you don't have to mention the extra details to your parents if you don't want to. You can give a practical, understandable statement and simply say, "a binder is like a fancy sports bra that flattens your chest. A lot of trans people use to reduce dysphoria and I was hoping you could get me one."
2-2. Explain why you want one.
Explain to your parent why you would like a binder and how it would help you. Mention any dysphoria, how it makes you feel, and how a binder would help you feel confident and comfortable.
2-3. Address their concerns and answer questions.
Your family might be worried about your safety after explaining what a binder is and how it works. Here are some common questions with sample answers:
"Yes, when a binder is used correctly, they're very safe."
"A binder will help me feel comfortable with my body and reduce my dysphoria. I would be really happy if I got one and it would help me feel confident."
3. Dealing with the Results
3-1. Thank them if they say yes.
If they decide to get you a binder thank them and be appreciative (you probably already will be appreciative, anyways).
3-2. Remain responsible.
If they declined your request, they might decide to purchase a binder for you later on if they see that you're responsible. Know that even if they said no, you still have a chance to get one. Continue doing your chores and what you're supposed to do.
3-3. Know what you can do if they don't buy you one.
Your parents might still be skeptical after you make your argument. Don't constantly ask if they already said no and know your other options. Here are other options if they decline your request:
Another family member or friend who is supportive of your identity could buy you a binder if they have the money. Ask an older sibling, grandparent, older cousin, or a close friend if they could buy the binder you want.
There are many safe alternatives to binders, but Try making your own binder or layering up your clothes to conceal your chest.
If your parents don't want to get you a binder because the one you want is too expensive, look for another one that is cheaper but doesn't sacrifice quality.
This will likely be your last option if none of the above work. You can wait a couple weeks for your parents to change their minds, but if your dysphoria is very bad, try another option.
If there is absolutely no way you can get a binder, or your family is transphobic, don't panic. There are many organizations that give free binders to people who need them and can't get them safely. Point of Pride gives binders at no cost to trans individuals who truly need them. Here is how to get one from them for free: Point of Pride: Free Chest Binders
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Ask Them\\n1-1. Do your research on binders.\\nThe internet is your best friend here. Look up how to clean a binder, safely use one, and find a reliable one. Figure out which type of binder you want and know the risks of using one. Check out these resources on how to use binders:\\nInsider: How to Bind Your Chest According to Experts\\nMinus18: How to Bind Your Chest Safely and Healthily\\nChest Binding: Tips and Tricks for Trans Men, Nonbinary, and Genderfluid people\\n1-2. Measure yourself.\\nIn order to find a binder that properly fits you, you need to measure. Measuring your chest and body will likely be hard and cause dysphoria. Take breaks in-between measuring if you need to.\\n1-3. Look for a quality binder.\\nbuy a $5 binder from an unverified website. Those are dangerous and binders under $15 dollars are make out of cheap material and are not safe. It's a much better idea to spend the extra $20 to ensure that you have something that will not harm you. Websites with safe, quality binders include:\\ngc2b\\nTomboyX\\nUnderworks\\n1-4. Know how to properly use a binder.\\nIt's essential to know how to use a binder properly before asking your parents for one. Here are basic do's and dont's for wearing a binder:\\nNever sleep in a binder.\\nDon't wear your binder for more than 8 hours a day.\\nDon't swim in your binder unless it's specifically for swimming.\\nNever exercise in a binder.\\n1-5. Make sure you know how to clean a binder.\\nKnowing how to wash a binder and keep it clean is part of having a binder. This is also part of showing that you're responsible and know how to care for your binder.\\n1-6. Be sure that your parent(s) knows about your gender identity.\\nIt's ideal if your parents already know about your gender identity before asking for a binder, since being trans and wearing a binder correlate to each other. It might be more confusing for your parents to understand why you want a chest binder if you haven't already come out as trans.\\nHere is a guide on how to come out as trans, or how to come out as nonbinary.\\n1-7. Show that you're responsible beforehand.\\nProve that you are responsible of having a binder and that you can take good care of it. Do your chores, try to do well in school, and do things without asking. This will show that you can manage having a binder and be safe with it.\\n2. Creating a Convincing Argument\\n2-1. Explain what a binder is.\\nA binder is for anyone who wants to flatten the appearance of their chest. A chest binder is often used by trans guys, nonbinary people, and genderfluid people. However, you don't have to mention the extra details to your parents if you don't want to. You can give a practical, understandable statement and simply say, \\\"a binder is like a fancy sports bra that flattens your chest. A lot of trans people use to reduce dysphoria and I was hoping you could get me one.\\\"\\n2-2. Explain why you want one.\\nExplain to your parent why you would like a binder and how it would help you. Mention any dysphoria, how it makes you feel, and how a binder would help you feel confident and comfortable.\\n2-3. Address their concerns and answer questions.\\nYour family might be worried about your safety after explaining what a binder is and how it works. Here are some common questions with sample answers:\\n\\n \\\"Yes, when a binder is used correctly, they're very safe.\\\"\\n \\\"A binder will help me feel comfortable with my body and reduce my dysphoria. I would be really happy if I got one and it would help me feel confident.\\\"\\n3. Dealing with the Results\\n3-1. Thank them if they say yes.\\nIf they decide to get you a binder thank them and be appreciative (you probably already will be appreciative, anyways).\\n3-2. Remain responsible.\\nIf they declined your request, they might decide to purchase a binder for you later on if they see that you're responsible. Know that even if they said no, you still have a chance to get one. Continue doing your chores and what you're supposed to do.\\n3-3. Know what you can do if they don't buy you one.\\nYour parents might still be skeptical after you make your argument. Don't constantly ask if they already said no and know your other options. Here are other options if they decline your request:\\n\\n Another family member or friend who is supportive of your identity could buy you a binder if they have the money. Ask an older sibling, grandparent, older cousin, or a close friend if they could buy the binder you want.\\n There are many safe alternatives to binders, but Try making your own binder or layering up your clothes to conceal your chest.\\n If your parents don't want to get you a binder because the one you want is too expensive, look for another one that is cheaper but doesn't sacrifice quality.\\n This will likely be your last option if none of the above work. You can wait a couple weeks for your parents to change their minds, but if your dysphoria is very bad, try another option.\\n If there is absolutely no way you can get a binder, or your family is transphobic, don't panic. There are many organizations that give free binders to people who need them and can't get them safely. Point of Pride gives binders at no cost to trans individuals who truly need them. Here is how to get one from them for free: Point of Pride: Free Chest Binders\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Chest binding is the procedure of flattening your chest to make it appear more masculine. Breasts may be a source of gender dysphoria for certain trans and non-binary individuals. Asking your parents for a chest binder can be a dwelling task, but this wikiHow guide is here to help.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask Them\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do your research on binders.\", \"描述\": \"The internet is your best friend here. Look up how to clean a binder, safely use one, and find a reliable one. Figure out which type of binder you want and know the risks of using one. Check out these resources on how to use binders:\\nInsider: How to Bind Your Chest According to Experts\\nMinus18: How to Bind Your Chest Safely and Healthily\\nChest Binding: Tips and Tricks for Trans Men, Nonbinary, and Genderfluid people\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Measure yourself.\", \"描述\": \"In order to find a binder that properly fits you, you need to measure. Measuring your chest and body will likely be hard and cause dysphoria. Take breaks in-between measuring if you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Look for a quality binder.\", \"描述\": \"buy a $5 binder from an unverified website. Those are dangerous and binders under $15 dollars are make out of cheap material and are not safe. It's a much better idea to spend the extra $20 to ensure that you have something that will not harm you. Websites with safe, quality binders include:\\ngc2b\\nTomboyX\\nUnderworks\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know how to properly use a binder.\", \"描述\": \"It's essential to know how to use a binder properly before asking your parents for one. Here are basic do's and dont's for wearing a binder:\\nNever sleep in a binder.\\nDon't wear your binder for more than 8 hours a day.\\nDon't swim in your binder unless it's specifically for swimming.\\nNever exercise in a binder.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make sure you know how to clean a binder.\", \"描述\": \"Knowing how to wash a binder and keep it clean is part of having a binder. This is also part of showing that you're responsible and know how to care for your binder.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be sure that your parent(s) knows about your gender identity.\", \"描述\": \"It's ideal if your parents already know about your gender identity before asking for a binder, since being trans and wearing a binder correlate to each other. It might be more confusing for your parents to understand why you want a chest binder if you haven't already come out as trans.\\nHere is a guide on how to come out as trans, or how to come out as nonbinary.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Show that you're responsible beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Prove that you are responsible of having a binder and that you can take good care of it. Do your chores, try to do well in school, and do things without asking. This will show that you can manage having a binder and be safe with it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Creating a Convincing Argument\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain what a binder is.\", \"描述\": \"A binder is for anyone who wants to flatten the appearance of their chest. A chest binder is often used by trans guys, nonbinary people, and genderfluid people. However, you don't have to mention the extra details to your parents if you don't want to. You can give a practical, understandable statement and simply say, \\\"a binder is like a fancy sports bra that flattens your chest. A lot of trans people use to reduce dysphoria and I was hoping you could get me one.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain why you want one.\", \"描述\": \"Explain to your parent why you would like a binder and how it would help you. Mention any dysphoria, how it makes you feel, and how a binder would help you feel confident and comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Address their concerns and answer questions.\", \"描述\": \"Your family might be worried about your safety after explaining what a binder is and how it works. Here are some common questions with sample answers:\\n\\n \\\"Yes, when a binder is used correctly, they're very safe.\\\"\\n \\\"A binder will help me feel comfortable with my body and reduce my dysphoria. I would be really happy if I got one and it would help me feel confident.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Results\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Thank them if they say yes.\", \"描述\": \"If they decide to get you a binder thank them and be appreciative (you probably already will be appreciative, anyways).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Remain responsible.\", \"描述\": \"If they declined your request, they might decide to purchase a binder for you later on if they see that you're responsible. Know that even if they said no, you still have a chance to get one. Continue doing your chores and what you're supposed to do.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Know what you can do if they don't buy you one.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents might still be skeptical after you make your argument. Don't constantly ask if they already said no and know your other options. Here are other options if they decline your request:\\n\\n Another family member or friend who is supportive of your identity could buy you a binder if they have the money. Ask an older sibling, grandparent, older cousin, or a close friend if they could buy the binder you want.\\n There are many safe alternatives to binders, but Try making your own binder or layering up your clothes to conceal your chest.\\n If your parents don't want to get you a binder because the one you want is too expensive, look for another one that is cheaper but doesn't sacrifice quality.\\n This will likely be your last option if none of the above work. You can wait a couple weeks for your parents to change their minds, but if your dysphoria is very bad, try another option.\\n If there is absolutely no way you can get a binder, or your family is transphobic, don't panic. There are many organizations that give free binders to people who need them and can't get them safely. Point of Pride gives binders at no cost to trans individuals who truly need them. Here is how to get one from them for free: Point of Pride: Free Chest Binders\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,518 | How to Ask Your Parents for a Mature Video Game | 1. Reasoning with Them
1-1. Start by asking nicely.
Simply be kind, clear, and polite when you ask for the game. Say, “Mom, Dad, can I please have this game? It’s really important to me.” You can point out that you haven’t asked for a game in a while or you have a birthday or other occasion coming up if that’s true.
Talk through what makes them concerned. Ask your parents what elements of the rating they are hesitant about, which are usually listed as intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language. Whatever they mention, provide reasoning and reassurance for why playing the game doesn’t influence you to copy those things in real life.
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Say, "If you see me acting more violent than you can take away the game." Or, "Sex is optional and if you see me doing it you can take away the game."
For drugs say, "In health class, they teach us the effects of drugs and why not to take them."
If the strong language bothers them, for example, you can say, “Look, if you hear me not being kind using those words, you can take away the game."
1-2. Stay calm
Avoid getting in arguments and getting frustrated with your parents if they say no. Come back to them in a week or so with a calm and respectful demeanor to present a new angle for why you should have the game. Display that you care enough about the game that you can be patient and respectful when asking for it.
1-3. Discuss the age limit.
If you’re 17 years old or older, you are definitely of an age to purchase the game for yourself, but if you are younger than 17, point out to your parents that the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) classifies the Mature rating as “generally suitable” for 17 and up, but there is no legal requirement for selling this game to people under 17.
1-4. Tell them the positive effects of video games.
Let your parents know that there are positive things about playing video games that they may not know about. Refer to studies that show that video game play can strengthen problem-solving skills and prevent anxiety. You can tell them that first-person shooter games, which are generally more violent, are also shown to improve spatial reasoning, navigation, memory, and perception.
1-5. Mention friends that have the game.
Tell your parents about friends you know of that have the game you want, and even suggest that your parents talk to theirs about why they agreed to let their child have the game.
Make sure you talk to your friends first and get their permission to mention them. They might have purchased the game through an older sibling or friend without their parents knowing, or their parents might reconsider their decision after talking to yours.
1-6. Offer to pay for it.
Reassure your parents that you will pay for the game with your own money from an allowance, job, or savings.
1-7. Address violence.
Ask your parents if they are concerned about the potential violence in the video game, because a major concern of many parents is that playing violent video games will lead to having more violent tendencies in real life. Do some research to find any of a number of studies that show that violent video games don’t make a person more violent and show it to them.
You can say, “The violence really doesn’t affect me. I don’t get in fights in school or anything. But if the violence in this game starts to bother me, I’ll tell you or I’ll stop playing it.”
1-8. Compare to R-rated movies.
If you’ve been allowed to watch any R-rated movies in the past, point out to your parents that an R rating has the same “suggested” age limit of 17 that the M rating for games has. Pick some examples of movies that might have similar themes to the game you want to buy to illustrate that you’re mature enough to handle them.
2. Making a Deal
2-1. Set a time limit.
Discuss and agree on an amount of time per day or week that you won’t go over when playing the game, or any video game, if your parents are concerned about how the content affects you based on how much you play. Let them know that if you get the game, you’ll stick to this time limit. Show them that you can play games in moderation.
2-2. Exchange for good grades.
Promise all A’s or B’s on your next report card, or a similar goal for your grades, if they will get you the game.
2-3. Exchange for chores.
Agree on certain chores you will do every week or month in exchange for being able to get the game. You can say, “I’ll take out the trash and load the dishwasher every day, and vacuum every week, if I can have the game,” or something similar that you and your parents can agree on.
2-4. Set restrictions.
Tell them you will not play on school nights, you will not play until you finish ALL your homework, and you will keep your grades up.
2-5. Rent it until they approve.
Rent the game from a library, video store, Redbox, or invite a friend over who has the game. Tell your parents they can watch you play the game for a certain amount of time. If they are okay with what they see, they let you buy it; if they’re not okay with it, you will agree on a time when you can rent it and ask them again.
You can also show them screenshots of the game online; they might be convinced by them alone.
2-6. Play in a central location.
Discuss and agree with your parents on a location of the house that you will always play the game if they let you get it. Letting them keep an eye on you in exchange for getting the game can be worth it, because they will likely stop paying attention after a time and let you play in peace.
2-7. Allow parental controls.
Let your parents know they can use whatever parental controls are available on the device you play on, as long as you can have the game. They may be able to restrict access to the internet, the ability to make purchases, or even control how long you play and what friends you play with.
Consider that it could be worth it to sacrifice a small amount of your freedom in order to get the game you want. You might also impress your parents by being upfront about these controls rather than them having to do it behind your back.
Tips
You can also point out that if violence is an issue, is that you understand that randomly killing people is wrong; additionally explain to them that violent video games usually help people deal with stress and anger issues, and most video games usually punish you in some way for random acts of murder
If you want to make a deal with your parents, try writing it out as a written proposal or contract that they can hold you to. They will be impressed by the maturity and responsibility of this gesture.
Be VERY careful as some games are truly dangerous. Also, promise them that they can see what you have been doing on the game. This will let them trust you more easily.
Warnings
Don't try to play your parents against each other by telling one that the other approves. That can cause other problems and doesn’t indicate a mature way to get approval.
Never lie to try to get a video game. This will cause your parents to distrust you when they find out (they always find out!) and could delay or prohibit you from ever getting the game.
Don’t try to buy an M-rated game yourself at the store if you are under 17. Almost all game retailers have policies to card anyone attempting to buy M or AO rated games, and will not sell to you if you’re underage or don’t have a valid ID.
If you are unsure about how bad the game is, even after checking the ESRB/PEGI rating, check a site like Commonsensemedia.org
If you are under 12 years old, these strategies may not work best, depending on your parents rules. Try sticking to T games instead.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Reasoning with Them\\n1-1. Start by asking nicely.\\nSimply be kind, clear, and polite when you ask for the game. Say, “Mom, Dad, can I please have this game? It’s really important to me.” You can point out that you haven’t asked for a game in a while or you have a birthday or other occasion coming up if that’s true.\\nTalk through what makes them concerned. Ask your parents what elements of the rating they are hesitant about, which are usually listed as intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language. Whatever they mention, provide reasoning and reassurance for why playing the game doesn’t influence you to copy those things in real life.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/7\\\\/75\\\\/Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/7\\\\/75\\\\/Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\\/aid180370-v4-728px-Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":325,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":514,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n\\nSay, \\\"If you see me acting more violent than you can take away the game.\\\" Or, \\\"Sex is optional and if you see me doing it you can take away the game.\\\"\\nFor drugs say, \\\"In health class, they teach us the effects of drugs and why not to take them.\\\"\\nIf the strong language bothers them, for example, you can say, “Look, if you hear me not being kind using those words, you can take away the game.\\\"\\n1-2. Stay calm\\nAvoid getting in arguments and getting frustrated with your parents if they say no. Come back to them in a week or so with a calm and respectful demeanor to present a new angle for why you should have the game. Display that you care enough about the game that you can be patient and respectful when asking for it.\\n1-3. Discuss the age limit.\\nIf you’re 17 years old or older, you are definitely of an age to purchase the game for yourself, but if you are younger than 17, point out to your parents that the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) classifies the Mature rating as “generally suitable” for 17 and up, but there is no legal requirement for selling this game to people under 17.\\n1-4. Tell them the positive effects of video games.\\nLet your parents know that there are positive things about playing video games that they may not know about. Refer to studies that show that video game play can strengthen problem-solving skills and prevent anxiety. You can tell them that first-person shooter games, which are generally more violent, are also shown to improve spatial reasoning, navigation, memory, and perception.\\n1-5. Mention friends that have the game.\\nTell your parents about friends you know of that have the game you want, and even suggest that your parents talk to theirs about why they agreed to let their child have the game.\\nMake sure you talk to your friends first and get their permission to mention them. They might have purchased the game through an older sibling or friend without their parents knowing, or their parents might reconsider their decision after talking to yours.\\n1-6. Offer to pay for it.\\nReassure your parents that you will pay for the game with your own money from an allowance, job, or savings.\\n1-7. Address violence.\\nAsk your parents if they are concerned about the potential violence in the video game, because a major concern of many parents is that playing violent video games will lead to having more violent tendencies in real life. Do some research to find any of a number of studies that show that violent video games don’t make a person more violent and show it to them.\\nYou can say, “The violence really doesn’t affect me. I don’t get in fights in school or anything. But if the violence in this game starts to bother me, I’ll tell you or I’ll stop playing it.”\\n1-8. Compare to R-rated movies.\\nIf you’ve been allowed to watch any R-rated movies in the past, point out to your parents that an R rating has the same “suggested” age limit of 17 that the M rating for games has. Pick some examples of movies that might have similar themes to the game you want to buy to illustrate that you’re mature enough to handle them.\\n2. Making a Deal\\n2-1. Set a time limit.\\nDiscuss and agree on an amount of time per day or week that you won’t go over when playing the game, or any video game, if your parents are concerned about how the content affects you based on how much you play. Let them know that if you get the game, you’ll stick to this time limit. Show them that you can play games in moderation.\\n2-2. Exchange for good grades.\\nPromise all A’s or B’s on your next report card, or a similar goal for your grades, if they will get you the game.\\n2-3. Exchange for chores.\\nAgree on certain chores you will do every week or month in exchange for being able to get the game. You can say, “I’ll take out the trash and load the dishwasher every day, and vacuum every week, if I can have the game,” or something similar that you and your parents can agree on.\\n2-4. Set restrictions.\\nTell them you will not play on school nights, you will not play until you finish ALL your homework, and you will keep your grades up.\\n2-5. Rent it until they approve.\\nRent the game from a library, video store, Redbox, or invite a friend over who has the game. Tell your parents they can watch you play the game for a certain amount of time. If they are okay with what they see, they let you buy it; if they’re not okay with it, you will agree on a time when you can rent it and ask them again.\\nYou can also show them screenshots of the game online; they might be convinced by them alone.\\n2-6. Play in a central location.\\nDiscuss and agree with your parents on a location of the house that you will always play the game if they let you get it. Letting them keep an eye on you in exchange for getting the game can be worth it, because they will likely stop paying attention after a time and let you play in peace.\\n2-7. Allow parental controls.\\nLet your parents know they can use whatever parental controls are available on the device you play on, as long as you can have the game. They may be able to restrict access to the internet, the ability to make purchases, or even control how long you play and what friends you play with.\\nConsider that it could be worth it to sacrifice a small amount of your freedom in order to get the game you want. You might also impress your parents by being upfront about these controls rather than them having to do it behind your back.\\nTips\\nYou can also point out that if violence is an issue, is that you understand that randomly killing people is wrong; additionally explain to them that violent video games usually help people deal with stress and anger issues, and most video games usually punish you in some way for random acts of murder\\nIf you want to make a deal with your parents, try writing it out as a written proposal or contract that they can hold you to. They will be impressed by the maturity and responsibility of this gesture.\\nBe VERY careful as some games are truly dangerous. Also, promise them that they can see what you have been doing on the game. This will let them trust you more easily.\\nWarnings\\nDon't try to play your parents against each other by telling one that the other approves. That can cause other problems and doesn’t indicate a mature way to get approval.\\nNever lie to try to get a video game. This will cause your parents to distrust you when they find out (they always find out!) and could delay or prohibit you from ever getting the game.\\nDon’t try to buy an M-rated game yourself at the store if you are under 17. Almost all game retailers have policies to card anyone attempting to buy M or AO rated games, and will not sell to you if you’re underage or don’t have a valid ID.\\nIf you are unsure about how bad the game is, even after checking the ESRB/PEGI rating, check a site like Commonsensemedia.org\\nIf you are under 12 years old, these strategies may not work best, depending on your parents rules. Try sticking to T games instead.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Want that new movie or video game that came out? But it’s rated M for Mature? Sometimes it will take a little more work than just asking once to get your parents to understand why you should be able to own and play the game. Learn how to respectfully make deals with your parents and ask for the game in a respectful, reasonable way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reasoning with Them\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start by asking nicely.\", \"描述\": \"Simply be kind, clear, and polite when you ask for the game. Say, “Mom, Dad, can I please have this game? It’s really important to me.” You can point out that you haven’t asked for a game in a while or you have a birthday or other occasion coming up if that’s true.\\nTalk through what makes them concerned. Ask your parents what elements of the rating they are hesitant about, which are usually listed as intense violence, blood and gore, sexual content, and/or strong language. Whatever they mention, provide reasoning and reassurance for why playing the game doesn’t influence you to copy those things in real life.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/7\\\\/75\\\\/Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/7\\\\/75\\\\/Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\\/aid180370-v4-728px-Ask-Your-Parents-for-a-Mature-Video-Game-Step-2-Version-3.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":325,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":514,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n\\nSay, \\\"If you see me acting more violent than you can take away the game.\\\" Or, \\\"Sex is optional and if you see me doing it you can take away the game.\\\"\\nFor drugs say, \\\"In health class, they teach us the effects of drugs and why not to take them.\\\"\\nIf the strong language bothers them, for example, you can say, “Look, if you hear me not being kind using those words, you can take away the game.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm\", \"描述\": \"Avoid getting in arguments and getting frustrated with your parents if they say no. Come back to them in a week or so with a calm and respectful demeanor to present a new angle for why you should have the game. Display that you care enough about the game that you can be patient and respectful when asking for it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Discuss the age limit.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re 17 years old or older, you are definitely of an age to purchase the game for yourself, but if you are younger than 17, point out to your parents that the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) classifies the Mature rating as “generally suitable” for 17 and up, but there is no legal requirement for selling this game to people under 17.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell them the positive effects of video games.\", \"描述\": \"Let your parents know that there are positive things about playing video games that they may not know about. Refer to studies that show that video game play can strengthen problem-solving skills and prevent anxiety. You can tell them that first-person shooter games, which are generally more violent, are also shown to improve spatial reasoning, navigation, memory, and perception.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Mention friends that have the game.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your parents about friends you know of that have the game you want, and even suggest that your parents talk to theirs about why they agreed to let their child have the game.\\nMake sure you talk to your friends first and get their permission to mention them. They might have purchased the game through an older sibling or friend without their parents knowing, or their parents might reconsider their decision after talking to yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Offer to pay for it.\", \"描述\": \"Reassure your parents that you will pay for the game with your own money from an allowance, job, or savings.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Address violence.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your parents if they are concerned about the potential violence in the video game, because a major concern of many parents is that playing violent video games will lead to having more violent tendencies in real life. Do some research to find any of a number of studies that show that violent video games don’t make a person more violent and show it to them.\\nYou can say, “The violence really doesn’t affect me. I don’t get in fights in school or anything. But if the violence in this game starts to bother me, I’ll tell you or I’ll stop playing it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Compare to R-rated movies.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve been allowed to watch any R-rated movies in the past, point out to your parents that an R rating has the same “suggested” age limit of 17 that the M rating for games has. Pick some examples of movies that might have similar themes to the game you want to buy to illustrate that you’re mature enough to handle them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Deal\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set a time limit.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss and agree on an amount of time per day or week that you won’t go over when playing the game, or any video game, if your parents are concerned about how the content affects you based on how much you play. Let them know that if you get the game, you’ll stick to this time limit. Show them that you can play games in moderation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exchange for good grades.\", \"描述\": \"Promise all A’s or B’s on your next report card, or a similar goal for your grades, if they will get you the game.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exchange for chores.\", \"描述\": \"Agree on certain chores you will do every week or month in exchange for being able to get the game. You can say, “I’ll take out the trash and load the dishwasher every day, and vacuum every week, if I can have the game,” or something similar that you and your parents can agree on.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Set restrictions.\", \"描述\": \"Tell them you will not play on school nights, you will not play until you finish ALL your homework, and you will keep your grades up.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Rent it until they approve.\", \"描述\": \"Rent the game from a library, video store, Redbox, or invite a friend over who has the game. Tell your parents they can watch you play the game for a certain amount of time. If they are okay with what they see, they let you buy it; if they’re not okay with it, you will agree on a time when you can rent it and ask them again.\\nYou can also show them screenshots of the game online; they might be convinced by them alone.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Play in a central location.\", \"描述\": \"Discuss and agree with your parents on a location of the house that you will always play the game if they let you get it. Letting them keep an eye on you in exchange for getting the game can be worth it, because they will likely stop paying attention after a time and let you play in peace.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Allow parental controls.\", \"描述\": \"Let your parents know they can use whatever parental controls are available on the device you play on, as long as you can have the game. They may be able to restrict access to the internet, the ability to make purchases, or even control how long you play and what friends you play with.\\nConsider that it could be worth it to sacrifice a small amount of your freedom in order to get the game you want. You might also impress your parents by being upfront about these controls rather than them having to do it behind your back.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can also point out that if violence is an issue, is that you understand that randomly killing people is wrong; additionally explain to them that violent video games usually help people deal with stress and anger issues, and most video games usually punish you in some way for random acts of murder\\n\", \"If you want to make a deal with your parents, try writing it out as a written proposal or contract that they can hold you to. They will be impressed by the maturity and responsibility of this gesture.\\n\", \"Be VERY careful as some games are truly dangerous. Also, promise them that they can see what you have been doing on the game. This will let them trust you more easily.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't try to play your parents against each other by telling one that the other approves. That can cause other problems and doesn’t indicate a mature way to get approval.\\n\", \"Never lie to try to get a video game. This will cause your parents to distrust you when they find out (they always find out!) and could delay or prohibit you from ever getting the game.\\n\", \"Don’t try to buy an M-rated game yourself at the store if you are under 17. Almost all game retailers have policies to card anyone attempting to buy M or AO rated games, and will not sell to you if you’re underage or don’t have a valid ID.\\n\", \"If you are unsure about how bad the game is, even after checking the ESRB/PEGI rating, check a site like Commonsensemedia.org\\n\", \"If you are under 12 years old, these strategies may not work best, depending on your parents rules. Try sticking to T games instead.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,519 | How to Ask Your Parents if You Can Play a Game | 1. How to Make Your Parents Happy
1-1. Meet their expectations.
Keep your room clean. Do your homework. Finish any chores. Cover all the things your parents expect you to do beforehand. If you have a messy room and ask to play games, you will likely get a negative response. They will likely tell you to do whatever they have been bugging you to do first. Just get your duties out of the way so you can tell them everything is already done. Then they have no reason to say you don't deserve to play your game.
1-2. Make your parents proud.
This is where being a good student in school pays off. If you can manage to impress your parents in important areas of life, they are more likely to be lenient when you ask to do something you want.
Even if you're not the best student, you impress them in other ways. Next time they have company over, be polite, sociable, and helpful with the food, drinks, and dishes. They will be so proud of how you behaved with their friends that they will try a little harder to make you happy too.
1-3. Make them feel appreciated.
Before you ask for something, thank them for what they have given you already. For example, "Hey mom, I just wanted to say thank you for that game you got me. I've really been enjoying it. I think I'll go play for a little while now if that's okay with you." Your parents will be glad to hear that you appreciate what they do for you. Also, instead of trying to tackle the question head on, you've already asked them indirectly and in a polite way.
Be sure you are sincere when showing your appreciation. If you sound like you are just saying it, your parents are likely to see it as a ploy.
Make this method more effective by thanking your parents regularly. Don't just be thankful when you want to something. Showing regular appreciation will help build a better relationship which will make it easier to communicate when you want something.
2. How to Ask the Question
2-1. Pick a good time.
If you can tell your parents are very busy or not in a good mood, you are better off waiting to ask about playing your game.
If you aren't sure whether or not it is a good time before asking about your game ask if they have a minute to talk or if they are too busy.
If your parents tell you they are busy just let them know it's okay and you'll come back later. Don't put pressure on them to deal with you immediately, they may have something important that they are focused on.
2-2. Ask nicely.
Do not make a demand or whine to play your game. Asking nicely is as simple as saying please. You don't need to lay it on too thick by begging, just be polite. For example, you might try saying, "Could I please play my game for an hour before bed?" Your parents want to make you happy and let you do things, but if you are unable to ask nicely they may think it is a result of lenient parenting and decide to tell you no as a lesson.
2-3. Let them know why you want to play.
Sometimes getting a positive answer is as easy as explaining that you need a break too. Parents will understand your feelings. Maybe you had a rough day at school or just finished a lot of homework and need a little chill time to recover and relax. It makes it a lot harder to say know when you open up and they can really see how you're feeling.
2-4. Consider an exchange.
Offer to do something your parents want done in exchange for being able to play the game afterwards. Maybe they have been bugging you to cut the grass, put away your laundry, or help with some kind of project around the house. They will very likely appreciate your willingness to pitch in and feel like they are getting the better end of the deal.
See if your parents will set up a chore-reward system. They can create a list of things that need to be done each week and you can earn a set amount of game time for completing them. This way you know what is expected of you and can get the chores out of the way when you're feeling up to it.
2-5. Invite them to take a break and hang out with you.
Many parents do not play games, but some do. Even if your parents never play a game, it doesn't hurt to invite them to spend time with you. Some parents will be so excited to do something together with you they will agree, even if they don't like what it is.
3. How to Deal with a Negative Response
3-1. Don't whine.
Be friendly and respectful. Even if they make you with their answer, don't call them names or run off to your room and slam the door. If you want your parents to respect your wishes and treat you like a person that is mature enough to make their own decisions, then show them that you are mature.
3-2. Find out the reason behind their choice.
Understanding why your parents said no will help you to make the changes in your approach that will lead to hearing yes the next time. Remember, your parents love you and want to say yes and make you happy. When they say no, they likely have a good reason.
Try to change your parents misguided beliefs as to why you can't play. Find them out, change them.
Maybe they just feel you've been spending too much time playing games and are worried it isn't healthy for you. Keep track of how long you have played each week and set down an amount of time with them.
Your parents might see playing games as anti-social, since you are alone in your room playing them. Show them how most games involve interacting with other players online and often working together to accomplish a common goal. If they can see you are developing leadership skills or learning to be a team player, they might see your gaming in a new light.
3-3. Don't give up.
Show them you can be mature and find another constructive way to spend a little time. Read a book, help with dinner, or just talk with them. Ask again later in the evening when they may have seen enough of your good behavior to sway their decision.
Tips
Turn off the game when they tell you to or you might lose your games for a while.
Being on your parents' good side will benefit you beyond your childhood.
Do your best not to get in trouble at home, school, or anywhere else. Your punishment may be to lose privileges such as game time, or the game altogether.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How to Make Your Parents Happy\\n1-1. Meet their expectations.\\nKeep your room clean. Do your homework. Finish any chores. Cover all the things your parents expect you to do beforehand. If you have a messy room and ask to play games, you will likely get a negative response. They will likely tell you to do whatever they have been bugging you to do first. Just get your duties out of the way so you can tell them everything is already done. Then they have no reason to say you don't deserve to play your game.\\n1-2. Make your parents proud.\\nThis is where being a good student in school pays off. If you can manage to impress your parents in important areas of life, they are more likely to be lenient when you ask to do something you want.\\nEven if you're not the best student, you impress them in other ways. Next time they have company over, be polite, sociable, and helpful with the food, drinks, and dishes. They will be so proud of how you behaved with their friends that they will try a little harder to make you happy too.\\n1-3. Make them feel appreciated.\\nBefore you ask for something, thank them for what they have given you already. For example, \\\"Hey mom, I just wanted to say thank you for that game you got me. I've really been enjoying it. I think I'll go play for a little while now if that's okay with you.\\\" Your parents will be glad to hear that you appreciate what they do for you. Also, instead of trying to tackle the question head on, you've already asked them indirectly and in a polite way.\\nBe sure you are sincere when showing your appreciation. If you sound like you are just saying it, your parents are likely to see it as a ploy.\\nMake this method more effective by thanking your parents regularly. Don't just be thankful when you want to something. Showing regular appreciation will help build a better relationship which will make it easier to communicate when you want something.\\n2. How to Ask the Question\\n2-1. Pick a good time.\\nIf you can tell your parents are very busy or not in a good mood, you are better off waiting to ask about playing your game.\\nIf you aren't sure whether or not it is a good time before asking about your game ask if they have a minute to talk or if they are too busy.\\nIf your parents tell you they are busy just let them know it's okay and you'll come back later. Don't put pressure on them to deal with you immediately, they may have something important that they are focused on.\\n2-2. Ask nicely.\\nDo not make a demand or whine to play your game. Asking nicely is as simple as saying please. You don't need to lay it on too thick by begging, just be polite. For example, you might try saying, \\\"Could I please play my game for an hour before bed?\\\" Your parents want to make you happy and let you do things, but if you are unable to ask nicely they may think it is a result of lenient parenting and decide to tell you no as a lesson.\\n2-3. Let them know why you want to play.\\nSometimes getting a positive answer is as easy as explaining that you need a break too. Parents will understand your feelings. Maybe you had a rough day at school or just finished a lot of homework and need a little chill time to recover and relax. It makes it a lot harder to say know when you open up and they can really see how you're feeling.\\n2-4. Consider an exchange.\\nOffer to do something your parents want done in exchange for being able to play the game afterwards. Maybe they have been bugging you to cut the grass, put away your laundry, or help with some kind of project around the house. They will very likely appreciate your willingness to pitch in and feel like they are getting the better end of the deal.\\nSee if your parents will set up a chore-reward system. They can create a list of things that need to be done each week and you can earn a set amount of game time for completing them. This way you know what is expected of you and can get the chores out of the way when you're feeling up to it.\\n2-5. Invite them to take a break and hang out with you.\\nMany parents do not play games, but some do. Even if your parents never play a game, it doesn't hurt to invite them to spend time with you. Some parents will be so excited to do something together with you they will agree, even if they don't like what it is.\\n3. How to Deal with a Negative Response\\n3-1. Don't whine.\\nBe friendly and respectful. Even if they make you with their answer, don't call them names or run off to your room and slam the door. If you want your parents to respect your wishes and treat you like a person that is mature enough to make their own decisions, then show them that you are mature.\\n3-2. Find out the reason behind their choice.\\nUnderstanding why your parents said no will help you to make the changes in your approach that will lead to hearing yes the next time. Remember, your parents love you and want to say yes and make you happy. When they say no, they likely have a good reason.\\nTry to change your parents misguided beliefs as to why you can't play. Find them out, change them.\\nMaybe they just feel you've been spending too much time playing games and are worried it isn't healthy for you. Keep track of how long you have played each week and set down an amount of time with them.\\nYour parents might see playing games as anti-social, since you are alone in your room playing them. Show them how most games involve interacting with other players online and often working together to accomplish a common goal. If they can see you are developing leadership skills or learning to be a team player, they might see your gaming in a new light.\\n3-3. Don't give up.\\nShow them you can be mature and find another constructive way to spend a little time. Read a book, help with dinner, or just talk with them. Ask again later in the evening when they may have seen enough of your good behavior to sway their decision.\\nTips\\nTurn off the game when they tell you to or you might lose your games for a while.\\nBeing on your parents' good side will benefit you beyond your childhood.\\nDo your best not to get in trouble at home, school, or anywhere else. Your punishment may be to lose privileges such as game time, or the game altogether.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Sometimes it can be difficult to talk your parents, especially when you have to ask their permission for something. If your parents make you ask for permission to play a game, then you have to be very smart about how you approach them. Going about asking to play a game the wrong way can lead to an argument which can get your games taken away for a long time. It's important to always remember that it's just a game and your relationship with your parents is more important.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How to Make Your Parents Happy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meet their expectations.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your room clean. Do your homework. Finish any chores. Cover all the things your parents expect you to do beforehand. If you have a messy room and ask to play games, you will likely get a negative response. They will likely tell you to do whatever they have been bugging you to do first. Just get your duties out of the way so you can tell them everything is already done. Then they have no reason to say you don't deserve to play your game.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your parents proud.\", \"描述\": \"This is where being a good student in school pays off. If you can manage to impress your parents in important areas of life, they are more likely to be lenient when you ask to do something you want.\\nEven if you're not the best student, you impress them in other ways. Next time they have company over, be polite, sociable, and helpful with the food, drinks, and dishes. They will be so proud of how you behaved with their friends that they will try a little harder to make you happy too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make them feel appreciated.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask for something, thank them for what they have given you already. For example, \\\"Hey mom, I just wanted to say thank you for that game you got me. I've really been enjoying it. I think I'll go play for a little while now if that's okay with you.\\\" Your parents will be glad to hear that you appreciate what they do for you. Also, instead of trying to tackle the question head on, you've already asked them indirectly and in a polite way.\\nBe sure you are sincere when showing your appreciation. If you sound like you are just saying it, your parents are likely to see it as a ploy.\\nMake this method more effective by thanking your parents regularly. Don't just be thankful when you want to something. Showing regular appreciation will help build a better relationship which will make it easier to communicate when you want something.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"How to Ask the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a good time.\", \"描述\": \"If you can tell your parents are very busy or not in a good mood, you are better off waiting to ask about playing your game.\\nIf you aren't sure whether or not it is a good time before asking about your game ask if they have a minute to talk or if they are too busy.\\nIf your parents tell you they are busy just let them know it's okay and you'll come back later. Don't put pressure on them to deal with you immediately, they may have something important that they are focused on.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask nicely.\", \"描述\": \"Do not make a demand or whine to play your game. Asking nicely is as simple as saying please. You don't need to lay it on too thick by begging, just be polite. For example, you might try saying, \\\"Could I please play my game for an hour before bed?\\\" Your parents want to make you happy and let you do things, but if you are unable to ask nicely they may think it is a result of lenient parenting and decide to tell you no as a lesson.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let them know why you want to play.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes getting a positive answer is as easy as explaining that you need a break too. Parents will understand your feelings. Maybe you had a rough day at school or just finished a lot of homework and need a little chill time to recover and relax. It makes it a lot harder to say know when you open up and they can really see how you're feeling.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Consider an exchange.\", \"描述\": \"Offer to do something your parents want done in exchange for being able to play the game afterwards. Maybe they have been bugging you to cut the grass, put away your laundry, or help with some kind of project around the house. They will very likely appreciate your willingness to pitch in and feel like they are getting the better end of the deal.\\nSee if your parents will set up a chore-reward system. They can create a list of things that need to be done each week and you can earn a set amount of game time for completing them. This way you know what is expected of you and can get the chores out of the way when you're feeling up to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Invite them to take a break and hang out with you.\", \"描述\": \"Many parents do not play games, but some do. Even if your parents never play a game, it doesn't hurt to invite them to spend time with you. Some parents will be so excited to do something together with you they will agree, even if they don't like what it is.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How to Deal with a Negative Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't whine.\", \"描述\": \"Be friendly and respectful. Even if they make you with their answer, don't call them names or run off to your room and slam the door. If you want your parents to respect your wishes and treat you like a person that is mature enough to make their own decisions, then show them that you are mature.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out the reason behind their choice.\", \"描述\": \"Understanding why your parents said no will help you to make the changes in your approach that will lead to hearing yes the next time. Remember, your parents love you and want to say yes and make you happy. When they say no, they likely have a good reason.\\nTry to change your parents misguided beliefs as to why you can't play. Find them out, change them.\\nMaybe they just feel you've been spending too much time playing games and are worried it isn't healthy for you. Keep track of how long you have played each week and set down an amount of time with them.\\nYour parents might see playing games as anti-social, since you are alone in your room playing them. Show them how most games involve interacting with other players online and often working together to accomplish a common goal. If they can see you are developing leadership skills or learning to be a team player, they might see your gaming in a new light.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don't give up.\", \"描述\": \"Show them you can be mature and find another constructive way to spend a little time. Read a book, help with dinner, or just talk with them. Ask again later in the evening when they may have seen enough of your good behavior to sway their decision.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Turn off the game when they tell you to or you might lose your games for a while.\\n\", \"Being on your parents' good side will benefit you beyond your childhood.\\n\", \"Do your best not to get in trouble at home, school, or anywhere else. Your punishment may be to lose privileges such as game time, or the game altogether.\\n\"]}]}}",
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} | wikihow |
2,520 | How to Ask Your Parents to Let You Go to a Concert | 1. Taking the Initiative
1-1. Practice good behavior.
Concerts are typically announced well in advance of tickets going on sale. This provides you with plenty of time to demonstrate to your parents that you are deserving and responsible enough to attend the concert. Before tickets go on sale:
Work to improve your grades
Fight less with your brothers and sisters
Do your chores
Help out extra around the house
Keep your room clean
Do your best not to break any of your parents’ rules
1-2. Consider how you will pay for the concert.
Concerts are expensive events. In addition to purchasing a ticket, you may have to buy food, pay for transportation, and/or contribute to a hotel room. As a result, most teens can’t cover the cost on their own and require financial help from their parents. You can approach this hurdle in a variety of ways. After the concert is announced:
Start saving money
Find odd jobs around the house or neighborhood
Ask for less from your parents
1-3. Research the artist, concert, and venue.
When you ask your parents if you may attend the concert, they’ll want specific details about the artist, concert, and venue. To prepare for their questions, answer the following questions:
Who/what group is performing?
What type of music does the artist/group perform? Is it appropriate for your age group?
Who listens to their music? Is it mainly people your age?
When is the concert?
Where is the concert? Is it close to your house? Do you need to pay for a hotel room?
What time does the concert start and end?
How expensive is the ticket?
Are your friends going? Will one of their parents serve as the chaperone?
Do they sell alcohol at the venue?
Does the venue provide a free parents room?
Are you allowed to bring your cell phone?
2. Asking Your Parents
2-1. Find a time to talk.
Before the tickets go on sale, you need to speak to your parents. Asking about the concert at the “right” time may increase your chances of hearing “yes.”
Talk to them when they are free. “Hi, Mom. Do you have a few minutes to talk?” “Hey, Dad. Are you free right now?”
Avoid asking them about the concert if them seem stressed, distracted, or busy.
2-2. Express your gratitude.
Asking outright to attend a concert might result in an immediate “no” from your parents. You can soften your request with a few kind, appreciative words.
“Thank you for working so hard to provide for me.”
”I really appreciate everything you do for me.”
I am grateful for all of the opportunities you’ve given me.”
2-3. Introduce the concert into your conversation.
Once you’ve told them how much you appreciate them, it is time to mention the concert. Provide your parents with the basic information:
Who is performing?
Where is the concert
When is the concert
What time is the concert
How much will it cost
”My favorite artist, ____, is performing in ____ on ____. The concert starts at ____ and ends at ____. Tickets cost ____.”
2-4. Ask politely.
The goal of this talk is to get permission from your parents. Instead of telling them you are going, ask them if you may go.
”May I go to the concert, please?”
2-5. Give your parents more information.
Before your parents say “yes” or “no,” they may ask you questions about the concert. As you answer their questions, remain respectful and calm. Don’t get defensive.
Let them know if your friends are planning to attend.
Let them know if someone is chaperoning.
Tell them more about the artist/group and the music.
Explain how you plan to pay for the concert.
Let them know if there is a designated “parents room” at the venue.
3. Bargaining With Your Parents
3-1. Offer to help cover the expenses.
Your parents may be reluctant or unable to pay for the concert. You can overcome this obstacle by:
Offering to pay for part or all of the cost
Offering to do work around the house in exchange for money towards the concert
Asking for a loan from your parents
Asking for the ticket for a holiday or your birthday present
3-2. Find a chaperone you can all agree on.
Did you intend to go to the concert without a chaperone? The thought of you at a concert without an adult might make your parents uncomfortable. Rather than insisting you are old enough, mature enough, and responsible enough to go to a concert without an adult, present them with a few alternative solutions. Suitable options might include:
An older sibling or cousin
Your parents or a friend’s parents
A trusted babysitter or nanny
3-3. Ask your parents to reconsider.
At the end your conversation, your parents may say “no” to the concert. Rather than throwing a fit, remain calm, cool, and collected. Ask them to spend some time thinking about it. In a few days, ask if they’ve reached a decision.
While you wait for them to decide, remain on your best behavior.
Tips
Buy all the tickets with your group at once, so that your seats are together or if it's general admission, agree to stick together once you've arrived at the venue.
Pre-arrange drivers before the concert.
Check the lyrics of the song, and look for swear words. It may be a spoiler, but it’s worth it for age-appropriateness.
Warnings
Don't act defensive or whiny when asking.
If your parents say no don't complain or start arguments as this means that if you want to do more things in the future it could affect it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:52",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking the Initiative\\n1-1. Practice good behavior.\\nConcerts are typically announced well in advance of tickets going on sale. This provides you with plenty of time to demonstrate to your parents that you are deserving and responsible enough to attend the concert. Before tickets go on sale:\\nWork to improve your grades\\nFight less with your brothers and sisters\\nDo your chores\\nHelp out extra around the house\\nKeep your room clean\\nDo your best not to break any of your parents’ rules\\n1-2. Consider how you will pay for the concert.\\nConcerts are expensive events. In addition to purchasing a ticket, you may have to buy food, pay for transportation, and/or contribute to a hotel room. As a result, most teens can’t cover the cost on their own and require financial help from their parents. You can approach this hurdle in a variety of ways. After the concert is announced:\\nStart saving money\\nFind odd jobs around the house or neighborhood\\nAsk for less from your parents\\n1-3. Research the artist, concert, and venue.\\nWhen you ask your parents if you may attend the concert, they’ll want specific details about the artist, concert, and venue. To prepare for their questions, answer the following questions:\\nWho/what group is performing?\\nWhat type of music does the artist/group perform? Is it appropriate for your age group?\\nWho listens to their music? Is it mainly people your age?\\nWhen is the concert?\\nWhere is the concert? Is it close to your house? Do you need to pay for a hotel room?\\nWhat time does the concert start and end?\\nHow expensive is the ticket?\\nAre your friends going? Will one of their parents serve as the chaperone?\\nDo they sell alcohol at the venue?\\nDoes the venue provide a free parents room?\\nAre you allowed to bring your cell phone?\\n2. Asking Your Parents\\n2-1. Find a time to talk.\\nBefore the tickets go on sale, you need to speak to your parents. Asking about the concert at the “right” time may increase your chances of hearing “yes.”\\nTalk to them when they are free. “Hi, Mom. Do you have a few minutes to talk?” “Hey, Dad. Are you free right now?”\\nAvoid asking them about the concert if them seem stressed, distracted, or busy.\\n2-2. Express your gratitude.\\nAsking outright to attend a concert might result in an immediate “no” from your parents. You can soften your request with a few kind, appreciative words.\\n“Thank you for working so hard to provide for me.”\\n”I really appreciate everything you do for me.”\\nI am grateful for all of the opportunities you’ve given me.”\\n2-3. Introduce the concert into your conversation.\\nOnce you’ve told them how much you appreciate them, it is time to mention the concert. Provide your parents with the basic information:\\nWho is performing?\\nWhere is the concert\\nWhen is the concert\\nWhat time is the concert\\nHow much will it cost\\n”My favorite artist, ____, is performing in ____ on ____. The concert starts at ____ and ends at ____. Tickets cost ____.”\\n2-4. Ask politely.\\nThe goal of this talk is to get permission from your parents. Instead of telling them you are going, ask them if you may go.\\n”May I go to the concert, please?”\\n2-5. Give your parents more information.\\nBefore your parents say “yes” or “no,” they may ask you questions about the concert. As you answer their questions, remain respectful and calm. Don’t get defensive.\\nLet them know if your friends are planning to attend.\\nLet them know if someone is chaperoning.\\nTell them more about the artist/group and the music.\\nExplain how you plan to pay for the concert.\\nLet them know if there is a designated “parents room” at the venue.\\n3. Bargaining With Your Parents\\n3-1. Offer to help cover the expenses.\\nYour parents may be reluctant or unable to pay for the concert. You can overcome this obstacle by:\\nOffering to pay for part or all of the cost\\nOffering to do work around the house in exchange for money towards the concert\\nAsking for a loan from your parents\\nAsking for the ticket for a holiday or your birthday present\\n3-2. Find a chaperone you can all agree on.\\nDid you intend to go to the concert without a chaperone? The thought of you at a concert without an adult might make your parents uncomfortable. Rather than insisting you are old enough, mature enough, and responsible enough to go to a concert without an adult, present them with a few alternative solutions. Suitable options might include:\\nAn older sibling or cousin\\nYour parents or a friend’s parents\\nA trusted babysitter or nanny\\n3-3. Ask your parents to reconsider.\\nAt the end your conversation, your parents may say “no” to the concert. Rather than throwing a fit, remain calm, cool, and collected. Ask them to spend some time thinking about it. In a few days, ask if they’ve reached a decision.\\nWhile you wait for them to decide, remain on your best behavior.\\nTips\\nBuy all the tickets with your group at once, so that your seats are together or if it's general admission, agree to stick together once you've arrived at the venue.\\nPre-arrange drivers before the concert.\\nCheck the lyrics of the song, and look for swear words. It may be a spoiler, but it’s worth it for age-appropriateness.\\nWarnings\\nDon't act defensive or whiny when asking.\\nIf your parents say no don't complain or start arguments as this means that if you want to do more things in the future it could affect it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Finding a fun concert with an artist or group you love is easy; convincing your parents to let you go is the difficult part. When you ask for permission, be prepared to compromise. Your chances of hearing a “yes” may increase if you agree to pay for part of the expenses or let your parents choose a chaperone.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking the Initiative\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Practice good behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Concerts are typically announced well in advance of tickets going on sale. This provides you with plenty of time to demonstrate to your parents that you are deserving and responsible enough to attend the concert. Before tickets go on sale:\\nWork to improve your grades\\nFight less with your brothers and sisters\\nDo your chores\\nHelp out extra around the house\\nKeep your room clean\\nDo your best not to break any of your parents’ rules\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider how you will pay for the concert.\", \"描述\": \"Concerts are expensive events. In addition to purchasing a ticket, you may have to buy food, pay for transportation, and/or contribute to a hotel room. As a result, most teens can’t cover the cost on their own and require financial help from their parents. You can approach this hurdle in a variety of ways. After the concert is announced:\\nStart saving money\\nFind odd jobs around the house or neighborhood\\nAsk for less from your parents\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Research the artist, concert, and venue.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask your parents if you may attend the concert, they’ll want specific details about the artist, concert, and venue. To prepare for their questions, answer the following questions:\\nWho/what group is performing?\\nWhat type of music does the artist/group perform? Is it appropriate for your age group?\\nWho listens to their music? Is it mainly people your age?\\nWhen is the concert?\\nWhere is the concert? Is it close to your house? Do you need to pay for a hotel room?\\nWhat time does the concert start and end?\\nHow expensive is the ticket?\\nAre your friends going? Will one of their parents serve as the chaperone?\\nDo they sell alcohol at the venue?\\nDoes the venue provide a free parents room?\\nAre you allowed to bring your cell phone?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a time to talk.\", \"描述\": \"Before the tickets go on sale, you need to speak to your parents. Asking about the concert at the “right” time may increase your chances of hearing “yes.”\\nTalk to them when they are free. “Hi, Mom. Do you have a few minutes to talk?” “Hey, Dad. Are you free right now?”\\nAvoid asking them about the concert if them seem stressed, distracted, or busy.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express your gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"Asking outright to attend a concert might result in an immediate “no” from your parents. You can soften your request with a few kind, appreciative words.\\n“Thank you for working so hard to provide for me.”\\n”I really appreciate everything you do for me.”\\nI am grateful for all of the opportunities you’ve given me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Introduce the concert into your conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve told them how much you appreciate them, it is time to mention the concert. Provide your parents with the basic information:\\nWho is performing?\\nWhere is the concert\\nWhen is the concert\\nWhat time is the concert\\nHow much will it cost\\n”My favorite artist, ____, is performing in ____ on ____. The concert starts at ____ and ends at ____. Tickets cost ____.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask politely.\", \"描述\": \"The goal of this talk is to get permission from your parents. Instead of telling them you are going, ask them if you may go.\\n”May I go to the concert, please?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give your parents more information.\", \"描述\": \"Before your parents say “yes” or “no,” they may ask you questions about the concert. As you answer their questions, remain respectful and calm. Don’t get defensive.\\nLet them know if your friends are planning to attend.\\nLet them know if someone is chaperoning.\\nTell them more about the artist/group and the music.\\nExplain how you plan to pay for the concert.\\nLet them know if there is a designated “parents room” at the venue.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Bargaining With Your Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer to help cover the expenses.\", \"描述\": \"Your parents may be reluctant or unable to pay for the concert. You can overcome this obstacle by:\\nOffering to pay for part or all of the cost\\nOffering to do work around the house in exchange for money towards the concert\\nAsking for a loan from your parents\\nAsking for the ticket for a holiday or your birthday present\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a chaperone you can all agree on.\", \"描述\": \"Did you intend to go to the concert without a chaperone? The thought of you at a concert without an adult might make your parents uncomfortable. Rather than insisting you are old enough, mature enough, and responsible enough to go to a concert without an adult, present them with a few alternative solutions. Suitable options might include:\\nAn older sibling or cousin\\nYour parents or a friend’s parents\\nA trusted babysitter or nanny\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your parents to reconsider.\", \"描述\": \"At the end your conversation, your parents may say “no” to the concert. Rather than throwing a fit, remain calm, cool, and collected. Ask them to spend some time thinking about it. In a few days, ask if they’ve reached a decision.\\nWhile you wait for them to decide, remain on your best behavior.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Buy all the tickets with your group at once, so that your seats are together or if it's general admission, agree to stick together once you've arrived at the venue.\\n\", \"Pre-arrange drivers before the concert.\\n\", \"Check the lyrics of the song, and look for swear words. It may be a spoiler, but it’s worth it for age-appropriateness.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't act defensive or whiny when asking.\\n\", \"If your parents say no don't complain or start arguments as this means that if you want to do more things in the future it could affect it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,521 | How to Ask Your Partner for More Intimacy | 1. “What are 3 things you and I have in common?”
Learn a little more about how your partner views your relationship.
Try to get your partner to dive deep, and talk about things like your morals, your values, and your personalities. You can tell a lot about how your partner thinks about your relationship when they answer this question. Try other ones, like:
“What do you like doing with me?”
“What’s something you wish you and I did more of?”
2. “Are you happy with how often we spend time together?”
Check in about your quality time and your partner’s happiness.
If you two don’t live together, they might be missing you throughout the week. Or, your partner might feel like they need a little more alone time, which is a great thing to discuss as a couple. You could also ask questions like:
“Do you like texting throughout the day, or do you prefer talking face to face?”
“How much alone time do you think you need?”
3. “What are 3 things I do that you couldn’t live without?”
See what your partner appreciates most about you.
If your partner loves it when you take over a chore for them, they might really appreciate acts of service. If they love it when you give them a hug at the end of a long day, they might really like physical touch. Follow up with other questions like:
“What’s your favorite way to express love?”
“What is your love language?”
4. “What do you like most about our relationship?”
Check in with your partner about what they appreciate.
You might talk about how you show love, how you support one another, or how well you two communicate. It’s a good idea to check in about the relationship overall to double check that your partner is happy. You can also ask things like:
“How well do we communicate with each other?”
“What’s one thing we could work on in our relationship?”
5. “How can we improve our sex life?”
Sexual intimacy is important, too!
If you feel like you and your partner’s sex life has been a little lacking lately, open up the conversation for you to both talk about. You could chat about the frequency, the spontaneity, or even the positions. Then, you can decide if you need to switch it up or change anything. Follow up with other questions like:
“What’s one thing you want to try in the bedroom that we haven’t done yet?”
“Do you have any sexual fantasies that you want to share with me?”
6. “What was your first impression of me?”
Have your partner think back to when you two first met.
This might seem like an out-of-the-box question, but the answer can give you some insight as to how your partner sees you. You can talk about what you thought of your partner and how your impressions of each other have changed over time. Try asking other questions like:
“What did you think of me after our first date?”
“How did your impression of me change as you got to know me?”
7. “When did you realize you loved me?”
Think back to when you knew your partner was the one.
Ask your partner if there’s one single moment they can pinpoint, or if they fell for you gradually over time. This is another fun way to reflect on how far you’ve come in your relationship. Ask other questions too, like:
“Was it love at first sight with me?”
“When did you admit to yourself that you might be falling for me?”
8. “Is there anything you haven’t told me that you want to share?”
Give your partner an open platform to divulge any info they want.
Sometimes, we keep things from our partner so that we don’t hurt their feelings or burden them. If you think that your partner has been keeping something from you, calmly ask them this question to get a read on what it might be. You could also ask:
“Is there anything that keeps you up at night?”
“Are you holding anything back from me right now?”
9. “What is your biggest fear?”
Learn what your partner is afraid of to understand them better.
Some people might simply answer with something like “spiders” or “the dark,” but other people might dive a little deeper, with things like “being alone,” or, “living life with regret.” Try to get into these more intimate answers to understand your partner a little better and learn more about what motivates them. You might also ask:
“What were you most afraid of as a kid?”
“Are you still scared of the dark?”
10. “What job would you have if money wasn’t a factor?”
Sometimes our dream jobs just aren’t realistic.
You can learn what your partner dreams of doing if they had all the time and money in the world with this simple question! Not only will you learn more about their goals in life, but you might learn what they like to do for fun, too. You could also ask something like:
“What did you want to be when you were growing up?”
“Did you always want to be a (current profession)?”
11. “What’s the most important thing on your bucket list?”
Find out what your partner wants to do before they kick the bucket.
We all have a bucket list in our heads, even if we haven’t written it down on paper. You can ask your partner this question to hopefully help them achieve that goal, whether that’s now or way, way in the future. Try asking other questions too, like:
“What’s something you want to do before you die?”
“If today was your last day on earth, what would you do?”
12. “What would you do if you won the lottery?”
Let your partner indulge in their wildest fantasy.
See what they would do with an almost unlimited amount of money—they might be practical and say that they’d pay off their debts and buy a house, or they might go crazy and travel the world or go on a shopping spree. It can tell you a lot about how your partner spends their money. You can also ask questions like:
“What would you do if someone handed you $100,000 right now?”
“What’s the most amount of money you’d need to live comfortably?”
13. “What makes you laugh the hardest?”
Your partner might tell you a hilarious story you’ve never heard before.
Or, you might just learn a little bit more about their sense of humor. Figuring out what makes someone laugh is a great way to get them giggling, and it’s something you can use all throughout your relationship. Try asking other questions, like:
“What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?”
“When’s the last time you laughed so hard that you cried?”
14. “What makes you feel accomplished?”
Learn more about what makes your partner feel proud.
If they’re really into their career, they might talk about finishing a work project or getting a thumbs up from their boss. If they have a hobby they’re super into, they might talk about learning a new skill or meeting up with other hobbyists. You can also ask things like:
“When was the last time you felt really proud of yourself?”
“Do you like it when other people praise you?”
15. “What do you value most in a friendship?”
Your partner's friends can tell you a lot about them.
Whatever your partner values in a friendship, they probably value in a relationship, too. Things like loyalty, honesty, and kindness go a long way in a lot of friendships. You can also ask things like:
“What are some friendship deal breakers you have?”
“Describe your best friend in 3 words.”
16. “When did you last cry in front of someone?”
Have your partner open up about their emotions with you.
Talking about a sad time can be pretty tough, so be prepared to comfort your partner as you two talk. You can also learn how they express their emotions—if the last time they cried in front of someone was a long time ago, they might be a little hesitant to talk about their feelings. Try other questions like:
“How do you cheer yourself up when you’re feeling down?”
“Who’s your go-to comfort person?”
17. “What’s your favorite way to spend the day off?”
See how your partner likes to relax with this simple question.
Learning how someone lowers their stress levels is very important in a relationship—there’s a good chance you’re going to have to help them relax at some point. Take note of what they like to do to unwind, and ask them other things, like:
“How do you practice self-care?”
“What’s your go-to activity for de-stressing after work?”
Tips
Try asking your partner these questions on a quiet, romantic evening. That way, you both feel comfortable opening up to each other and having a deep conversation.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “What are 3 things you and I have in common?”\\nLearn a little more about how your partner views your relationship.\\nTry to get your partner to dive deep, and talk about things like your morals, your values, and your personalities. You can tell a lot about how your partner thinks about your relationship when they answer this question. Try other ones, like:\\n“What do you like doing with me?”\\n“What’s something you wish you and I did more of?”\\n2. “Are you happy with how often we spend time together?”\\nCheck in about your quality time and your partner’s happiness.\\nIf you two don’t live together, they might be missing you throughout the week. Or, your partner might feel like they need a little more alone time, which is a great thing to discuss as a couple. You could also ask questions like:\\n“Do you like texting throughout the day, or do you prefer talking face to face?”\\n“How much alone time do you think you need?”\\n3. “What are 3 things I do that you couldn’t live without?”\\nSee what your partner appreciates most about you.\\nIf your partner loves it when you take over a chore for them, they might really appreciate acts of service. If they love it when you give them a hug at the end of a long day, they might really like physical touch. Follow up with other questions like:\\n“What’s your favorite way to express love?”\\n“What is your love language?”\\n4. “What do you like most about our relationship?”\\nCheck in with your partner about what they appreciate.\\nYou might talk about how you show love, how you support one another, or how well you two communicate. It’s a good idea to check in about the relationship overall to double check that your partner is happy. You can also ask things like:\\n“How well do we communicate with each other?”\\n“What’s one thing we could work on in our relationship?”\\n5. “How can we improve our sex life?”\\nSexual intimacy is important, too!\\nIf you feel like you and your partner’s sex life has been a little lacking lately, open up the conversation for you to both talk about. You could chat about the frequency, the spontaneity, or even the positions. Then, you can decide if you need to switch it up or change anything. Follow up with other questions like:\\n“What’s one thing you want to try in the bedroom that we haven’t done yet?”\\n“Do you have any sexual fantasies that you want to share with me?”\\n6. “What was your first impression of me?”\\nHave your partner think back to when you two first met.\\nThis might seem like an out-of-the-box question, but the answer can give you some insight as to how your partner sees you. You can talk about what you thought of your partner and how your impressions of each other have changed over time. Try asking other questions like:\\n“What did you think of me after our first date?”\\n“How did your impression of me change as you got to know me?”\\n7. “When did you realize you loved me?”\\nThink back to when you knew your partner was the one.\\nAsk your partner if there’s one single moment they can pinpoint, or if they fell for you gradually over time. This is another fun way to reflect on how far you’ve come in your relationship. Ask other questions too, like:\\n“Was it love at first sight with me?”\\n“When did you admit to yourself that you might be falling for me?”\\n8. “Is there anything you haven’t told me that you want to share?”\\nGive your partner an open platform to divulge any info they want.\\nSometimes, we keep things from our partner so that we don’t hurt their feelings or burden them. If you think that your partner has been keeping something from you, calmly ask them this question to get a read on what it might be. You could also ask:\\n“Is there anything that keeps you up at night?”\\n“Are you holding anything back from me right now?”\\n9. “What is your biggest fear?”\\nLearn what your partner is afraid of to understand them better.\\nSome people might simply answer with something like “spiders” or “the dark,” but other people might dive a little deeper, with things like “being alone,” or, “living life with regret.” Try to get into these more intimate answers to understand your partner a little better and learn more about what motivates them. You might also ask:\\n“What were you most afraid of as a kid?”\\n“Are you still scared of the dark?”\\n10. “What job would you have if money wasn’t a factor?”\\nSometimes our dream jobs just aren’t realistic.\\nYou can learn what your partner dreams of doing if they had all the time and money in the world with this simple question! Not only will you learn more about their goals in life, but you might learn what they like to do for fun, too. You could also ask something like:\\n“What did you want to be when you were growing up?”\\n“Did you always want to be a (current profession)?”\\n11. “What’s the most important thing on your bucket list?”\\nFind out what your partner wants to do before they kick the bucket.\\nWe all have a bucket list in our heads, even if we haven’t written it down on paper. You can ask your partner this question to hopefully help them achieve that goal, whether that’s now or way, way in the future. Try asking other questions too, like:\\n“What’s something you want to do before you die?”\\n“If today was your last day on earth, what would you do?”\\n12. “What would you do if you won the lottery?”\\nLet your partner indulge in their wildest fantasy.\\nSee what they would do with an almost unlimited amount of money—they might be practical and say that they’d pay off their debts and buy a house, or they might go crazy and travel the world or go on a shopping spree. It can tell you a lot about how your partner spends their money. You can also ask questions like:\\n“What would you do if someone handed you $100,000 right now?”\\n“What’s the most amount of money you’d need to live comfortably?”\\n13. “What makes you laugh the hardest?”\\nYour partner might tell you a hilarious story you’ve never heard before.\\nOr, you might just learn a little bit more about their sense of humor. Figuring out what makes someone laugh is a great way to get them giggling, and it’s something you can use all throughout your relationship. Try asking other questions, like:\\n“What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?”\\n“When’s the last time you laughed so hard that you cried?”\\n14. “What makes you feel accomplished?”\\nLearn more about what makes your partner feel proud.\\nIf they’re really into their career, they might talk about finishing a work project or getting a thumbs up from their boss. If they have a hobby they’re super into, they might talk about learning a new skill or meeting up with other hobbyists. You can also ask things like:\\n“When was the last time you felt really proud of yourself?”\\n“Do you like it when other people praise you?”\\n15. “What do you value most in a friendship?”\\nYour partner's friends can tell you a lot about them.\\nWhatever your partner values in a friendship, they probably value in a relationship, too. Things like loyalty, honesty, and kindness go a long way in a lot of friendships. You can also ask things like:\\n“What are some friendship deal breakers you have?”\\n“Describe your best friend in 3 words.”\\n16. “When did you last cry in front of someone?”\\nHave your partner open up about their emotions with you.\\nTalking about a sad time can be pretty tough, so be prepared to comfort your partner as you two talk. You can also learn how they express their emotions—if the last time they cried in front of someone was a long time ago, they might be a little hesitant to talk about their feelings. Try other questions like:\\n“How do you cheer yourself up when you’re feeling down?”\\n“Who’s your go-to comfort person?”\\n17. “What’s your favorite way to spend the day off?”\\nSee how your partner likes to relax with this simple question.\\nLearning how someone lowers their stress levels is very important in a relationship—there’s a good chance you’re going to have to help them relax at some point. Take note of what they like to do to unwind, and ask them other things, like:\\n“How do you practice self-care?”\\n“What’s your go-to activity for de-stressing after work?”\\nTips\\nTry asking your partner these questions on a quiet, romantic evening. That way, you both feel comfortable opening up to each other and having a deep conversation.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, it can sometimes feel like you know everything about your significant other. That initial intimacy, or emotional closeness that you once felt toward each other might fade away a bit. Fortunately, getting that intimacy back isn’t hard—by asking your partner deep questions, you can grow closer together as a couple and reaffirm your love and connection.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“What are 3 things you and I have in common?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn a little more about how your partner views your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Try to get your partner to dive deep, and talk about things like your morals, your values, and your personalities. You can tell a lot about how your partner thinks about your relationship when they answer this question. Try other ones, like:\\n“What do you like doing with me?”\\n“What’s something you wish you and I did more of?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“Are you happy with how often we spend time together?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check in about your quality time and your partner’s happiness.\", \"描述\": \"If you two don’t live together, they might be missing you throughout the week. Or, your partner might feel like they need a little more alone time, which is a great thing to discuss as a couple. You could also ask questions like:\\n“Do you like texting throughout the day, or do you prefer talking face to face?”\\n“How much alone time do you think you need?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“What are 3 things I do that you couldn’t live without?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See what your partner appreciates most about you.\", \"描述\": \"If your partner loves it when you take over a chore for them, they might really appreciate acts of service. If they love it when you give them a hug at the end of a long day, they might really like physical touch. Follow up with other questions like:\\n“What’s your favorite way to express love?”\\n“What is your love language?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“What do you like most about our relationship?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check in with your partner about what they appreciate.\", \"描述\": \"You might talk about how you show love, how you support one another, or how well you two communicate. It’s a good idea to check in about the relationship overall to double check that your partner is happy. You can also ask things like:\\n“How well do we communicate with each other?”\\n“What’s one thing we could work on in our relationship?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“How can we improve our sex life?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sexual intimacy is important, too!\", \"描述\": \"If you feel like you and your partner’s sex life has been a little lacking lately, open up the conversation for you to both talk about. You could chat about the frequency, the spontaneity, or even the positions. Then, you can decide if you need to switch it up or change anything. Follow up with other questions like:\\n“What’s one thing you want to try in the bedroom that we haven’t done yet?”\\n“Do you have any sexual fantasies that you want to share with me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“What was your first impression of me?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have your partner think back to when you two first met.\", \"描述\": \"This might seem like an out-of-the-box question, but the answer can give you some insight as to how your partner sees you. You can talk about what you thought of your partner and how your impressions of each other have changed over time. Try asking other questions like:\\n“What did you think of me after our first date?”\\n“How did your impression of me change as you got to know me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“When did you realize you loved me?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think back to when you knew your partner was the one.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your partner if there’s one single moment they can pinpoint, or if they fell for you gradually over time. This is another fun way to reflect on how far you’ve come in your relationship. Ask other questions too, like:\\n“Was it love at first sight with me?”\\n“When did you admit to yourself that you might be falling for me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“Is there anything you haven’t told me that you want to share?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your partner an open platform to divulge any info they want.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, we keep things from our partner so that we don’t hurt their feelings or burden them. If you think that your partner has been keeping something from you, calmly ask them this question to get a read on what it might be. You could also ask:\\n“Is there anything that keeps you up at night?”\\n“Are you holding anything back from me right now?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“What is your biggest fear?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn what your partner is afraid of to understand them better.\", \"描述\": \"Some people might simply answer with something like “spiders” or “the dark,” but other people might dive a little deeper, with things like “being alone,” or, “living life with regret.” Try to get into these more intimate answers to understand your partner a little better and learn more about what motivates them. You might also ask:\\n“What were you most afraid of as a kid?”\\n“Are you still scared of the dark?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“What job would you have if money wasn’t a factor?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes our dream jobs just aren’t realistic.\", \"描述\": \"You can learn what your partner dreams of doing if they had all the time and money in the world with this simple question! Not only will you learn more about their goals in life, but you might learn what they like to do for fun, too. You could also ask something like:\\n“What did you want to be when you were growing up?”\\n“Did you always want to be a (current profession)?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“What’s the most important thing on your bucket list?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out what your partner wants to do before they kick the bucket.\", \"描述\": \"We all have a bucket list in our heads, even if we haven’t written it down on paper. You can ask your partner this question to hopefully help them achieve that goal, whether that’s now or way, way in the future. Try asking other questions too, like:\\n“What’s something you want to do before you die?”\\n“If today was your last day on earth, what would you do?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"“What would you do if you won the lottery?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let your partner indulge in their wildest fantasy.\", \"描述\": \"See what they would do with an almost unlimited amount of money—they might be practical and say that they’d pay off their debts and buy a house, or they might go crazy and travel the world or go on a shopping spree. It can tell you a lot about how your partner spends their money. You can also ask questions like:\\n“What would you do if someone handed you $100,000 right now?”\\n“What’s the most amount of money you’d need to live comfortably?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"“What makes you laugh the hardest?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your partner might tell you a hilarious story you’ve never heard before.\", \"描述\": \"Or, you might just learn a little bit more about their sense of humor. Figuring out what makes someone laugh is a great way to get them giggling, and it’s something you can use all throughout your relationship. Try asking other questions, like:\\n“What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?”\\n“When’s the last time you laughed so hard that you cried?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"“What makes you feel accomplished?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Learn more about what makes your partner feel proud.\", \"描述\": \"If they’re really into their career, they might talk about finishing a work project or getting a thumbs up from their boss. If they have a hobby they’re super into, they might talk about learning a new skill or meeting up with other hobbyists. You can also ask things like:\\n“When was the last time you felt really proud of yourself?”\\n“Do you like it when other people praise you?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"“What do you value most in a friendship?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your partner's friends can tell you a lot about them.\", \"描述\": \"Whatever your partner values in a friendship, they probably value in a relationship, too. Things like loyalty, honesty, and kindness go a long way in a lot of friendships. You can also ask things like:\\n“What are some friendship deal breakers you have?”\\n“Describe your best friend in 3 words.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 16, \"标题\": \"“When did you last cry in front of someone?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have your partner open up about their emotions with you.\", \"描述\": \"Talking about a sad time can be pretty tough, so be prepared to comfort your partner as you two talk. You can also learn how they express their emotions—if the last time they cried in front of someone was a long time ago, they might be a little hesitant to talk about their feelings. Try other questions like:\\n“How do you cheer yourself up when you’re feeling down?”\\n“Who’s your go-to comfort person?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 17, \"标题\": \"“What’s your favorite way to spend the day off?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See how your partner likes to relax with this simple question.\", \"描述\": \"Learning how someone lowers their stress levels is very important in a relationship—there’s a good chance you’re going to have to help them relax at some point. Take note of what they like to do to unwind, and ask them other things, like:\\n“How do you practice self-care?”\\n“What’s your go-to activity for de-stressing after work?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try asking your partner these questions on a quiet, romantic evening. That way, you both feel comfortable opening up to each other and having a deep conversation.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,522 | How to Email Your Professor for a Letter of Recommendation (Tips & Examples) | 1. Writing the Email
1-1. Greet your professor using their proper title.
Begin your email just like you’d write a letter, and make a great first impression with a proper salutation like “Dear” or “Good afternoon.” Unless you’re on a first-name basis, it’s also good etiquette to address your professor with their professional title and last name.
Begin an email request with “Dear Dr. Hamilton” or “Good morning, Dr. Johnson.”
If you’re not sure what your professor’s preferred title is, look up your class syllabus on their website (or the school’s website).
1-2. Re-introduce yourself to refresh your professor’s memory.
Even if you and your professor are on good terms, use the first 1 or 2 sentences of your request to remind them who you are. Give them your name, the classes you’ve taken with them, and any extracurricular or one-on-one activities you’ve done together too. Keep this section concise and get right to the point!
“My name is Katie Williams. I took your fiction writing workshop my junior and senior year, and you helped me outline my senior capstone project.”
1-3. Explain the purpose of your email and why you need a letter.
Tell your professor what you’re applying for, with details about the educational program, internship, or job, and let them know that the application requires a letter of recommendation. Avoid starting a tangent or talking about other unrelated things; stay on task and show your professor that you mean business.
Use assertive and specific language to project confidence. Rather than asking, “Can you write a letter of recommendation?” ask your professor for the type of letter you want with words like “strong” or “compelling.”
“I’m applying to UCLA’s graduate program for Film and Television, and I was hoping that you’d write a compelling letter of recommendation for me.”
1-4. Tell your professor why you want a letter from them.
Spend the next paragraph explaining how this professor impacted your life, what you learned from them, and why you asked them for a letter. You can also tell them a little more about yourself, why you’re applying for this particular position, and how you think their recommendation will help you get accepted.
Add a little flattery to your request! Your professor might be more enthusiastic about writing you a letter as a result.
“Your classes helped me grow as a writer. Thanks to your help, my story has been accepted for publication. I’m grateful to have such a skillful, imaginative instructor to offer me guidance.”
1-5. Mention anything you want the letter of recommendation to include.
Start a new paragraph and tactfully let your professor know what information and experiences you hope they’ll discuss. Do this by bringing up the qualifications needed for the position or program you’re applying to and reminding your professor of instances that prove your abilities. That gives them starting point when they begin the letter!
“The employer is looking for someone with programming skills and a strong work ethic. I believe you can speak to my drive and commitment after I tackled the app-creation project in your Computer Science class.”
“This internship calls for a candidate with strong drawing and painting skills. As my advanced painting professor, I was hoping you could speak about the projects I completed in your class.”
1-6. Inform your professor of the due date and how to submit the letter.
Submissions might be through a physical address or a digital address. If they’re submitting it digitally, provide either the email address or a link where they can upload the letter. Getting your application done in time will be much easier if your professor knows exactly when the letter is due and where to send it.
“The letter of recommendation is due January 15, 2023. You can send it to [email protected].”
1-7. Thank your professor
In the last paragraph, let them know you value the time they spent reading your request and the time they’ll spend writing the letter. Thank them for their consideration, and tell them how much you appreciate their guidance thus far as your professor. No matter what happens, an earnest “thank you” is the polite thing to do!
“Thank you for reading this request and for everything you’ve taught me. I really appreciate the time and energy you spent guiding me, and I hope you’ll consider writing my letter of recommendation.”
Send a follow-up thank-you email when your professor agrees to write the letter, and let them know if you eventually get the job or get admitted. They’ll appreciate hearing from you.
1-8. Sign the email with a complimentary close and your name.
Below the final paragraph, use a closing statement like “Sincerely,” “Your former student,” or “Best regards.” Then, skip a line. Below that, write out your full name. When you write a formal email, it's important to include a professional conclusion, even if you’re friendly with your professor.
“Sincerely, Alex Hudson.”
2. Sending the Email
2-1. Attach a cover letter and resume if you’re applying for a job or internship.
When your professor agrees to write the letter, they’ll need additional information about you and your qualifications. Write a cover letter, create a resume, and attach both so your professor doesn’t have to ask for them later on. Mention the attachments in your email, too. For example:
“Below, I’ve attached my resume and cover letter for reference. If there’s any other information you need, I’m happy to provide it!”
“With this email, you’ll find my resume, cover letter, and qualifications for the job. Let me know if there’s anything else you need from me!”
2-2. Include a summary document listing the activities and courses you took.
Write a document that describes each course you’ve taken so far, your grades, any activities and clubs you’ve participated in, and awards you’ve received for your work. Then, attach it to the email so your professor can refer to the document while writing and better understand your qualifications.
You might also attach samples of your work and a draft of your application essay. This will help your professor tailor your letter to your application.
Don’t include your formal request as a letter attachment. Write it directly in the body of the email and only attach additional key documents like the summary and resume.
2-3. Use a professional subject line that explains the purpose of your email.
Let your professor know up front that you’re requesting a letter of recommendation. They likely get a lot of emails, so a professional-sounding subject line will show your professor that the email is timely and important. Plus, a clear and descriptive subject line tells them exactly what to expect from the rest of your email.
Your subject line might read, “Request for a letter of recommendation for graduate school,” or “Request for a letter of recommendation for a summer internship.”
3. Choosing a Professor & Timing Your Request
3-1. Pick a professor who knows you well and will write a good letter.
A letter of recommendation adds flavor and personality to your application. Where resumes offer a technical overview of your experience, letters of recommendation show who you are, what you can do, and what it’s like to work with you. Therefore, your letter will be stronger if the professor has a personal relationship with you.
Pick a professor who has a good opinion of you, knows you by name, is familiar with your work, and has witnessed your growth as a student.
It’s also a good idea to ask a professor that you’ve taken more than 1 class with and worked with outside of class; they’ve had more time to form an impression of you.
Ask yourself: did I perform well in their classes? Did I act professionally and ethically as their student? If the answer is “yes,” go ahead and ask for a recommendation.
3-2. Think of a backup plan if your first choice doesn’t work out.
Sometimes the professor might decline—not because they don’t want to, but because they feel like know enough about you (or the position you’re applying for) to do the letter justice. That’s okay! Before sending out the first email request, brainstorm several professors you could ask for a letter. If anything happens, just send the next professor a request.
Remember that it’s impolite to assume a professor will say “yes,” just because you ask. You never know if something will come up, and they won’t be able to do it.
3-3. Make your request at least 4 to 6 weeks in advance, if possible.
Professors have a lot to do, from grading, teaching, and lesson plans to helping other students. You’re more likely to get a positive response if you give them plenty of time to write a letter! Ask them for the letter well before the due date so they don’t feel rushed and you have time to look for another reference if necessary.
Double-check the letter of recommendation’s due date since you’ll need to include it in your request. Let your professor know if you’d like the letter sent to you a little early, too.
Ask one professor for a letter at a time (unless you need multiple letters). It can be tempting to cast a wide net and ask several at once, but it’s better to be considerate of their time and only ask when you need to.
3-4. Follow up with your professor 3 days before the letter’s due date.
Give your professor a few days to accept after sending your initial request. Then, once they do, set a reminder to reach out again 3 days before the letter’s deadline. If they haven’t sent over a letter of recommendation by then, check in with a polite reminder and ask them for an update. For example:
“I’m writing to touch base about the letter of recommendation for my internship application and ensure you have everything you need from me since the deadline is April 1st. Let me know if there’s anything else I can provide for you!”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Writing the Email\\n1-1. Greet your professor using their proper title.\\nBegin your email just like you’d write a letter, and make a great first impression with a proper salutation like “Dear” or “Good afternoon.” Unless you’re on a first-name basis, it’s also good etiquette to address your professor with their professional title and last name.\\nBegin an email request with “Dear Dr. Hamilton” or “Good morning, Dr. Johnson.”\\nIf you’re not sure what your professor’s preferred title is, look up your class syllabus on their website (or the school’s website).\\n1-2. Re-introduce yourself to refresh your professor’s memory.\\nEven if you and your professor are on good terms, use the first 1 or 2 sentences of your request to remind them who you are. Give them your name, the classes you’ve taken with them, and any extracurricular or one-on-one activities you’ve done together too. Keep this section concise and get right to the point!\\n“My name is Katie Williams. I took your fiction writing workshop my junior and senior year, and you helped me outline my senior capstone project.”\\n1-3. Explain the purpose of your email and why you need a letter.\\nTell your professor what you’re applying for, with details about the educational program, internship, or job, and let them know that the application requires a letter of recommendation. Avoid starting a tangent or talking about other unrelated things; stay on task and show your professor that you mean business.\\nUse assertive and specific language to project confidence. Rather than asking, “Can you write a letter of recommendation?” ask your professor for the type of letter you want with words like “strong” or “compelling.”\\n“I’m applying to UCLA’s graduate program for Film and Television, and I was hoping that you’d write a compelling letter of recommendation for me.”\\n1-4. Tell your professor why you want a letter from them.\\nSpend the next paragraph explaining how this professor impacted your life, what you learned from them, and why you asked them for a letter. You can also tell them a little more about yourself, why you’re applying for this particular position, and how you think their recommendation will help you get accepted.\\nAdd a little flattery to your request! Your professor might be more enthusiastic about writing you a letter as a result.\\n“Your classes helped me grow as a writer. Thanks to your help, my story has been accepted for publication. I’m grateful to have such a skillful, imaginative instructor to offer me guidance.”\\n1-5. Mention anything you want the letter of recommendation to include.\\nStart a new paragraph and tactfully let your professor know what information and experiences you hope they’ll discuss. Do this by bringing up the qualifications needed for the position or program you’re applying to and reminding your professor of instances that prove your abilities. That gives them starting point when they begin the letter!\\n“The employer is looking for someone with programming skills and a strong work ethic. I believe you can speak to my drive and commitment after I tackled the app-creation project in your Computer Science class.”\\n“This internship calls for a candidate with strong drawing and painting skills. As my advanced painting professor, I was hoping you could speak about the projects I completed in your class.”\\n1-6. Inform your professor of the due date and how to submit the letter.\\nSubmissions might be through a physical address or a digital address. If they’re submitting it digitally, provide either the email address or a link where they can upload the letter. Getting your application done in time will be much easier if your professor knows exactly when the letter is due and where to send it.\\n“The letter of recommendation is due January 15, 2023. You can send it to [email protected].”\\n1-7. Thank your professor\\nIn the last paragraph, let them know you value the time they spent reading your request and the time they’ll spend writing the letter. Thank them for their consideration, and tell them how much you appreciate their guidance thus far as your professor. No matter what happens, an earnest “thank you” is the polite thing to do!\\n“Thank you for reading this request and for everything you’ve taught me. I really appreciate the time and energy you spent guiding me, and I hope you’ll consider writing my letter of recommendation.”\\nSend a follow-up thank-you email when your professor agrees to write the letter, and let them know if you eventually get the job or get admitted. They’ll appreciate hearing from you.\\n1-8. Sign the email with a complimentary close and your name.\\nBelow the final paragraph, use a closing statement like “Sincerely,” “Your former student,” or “Best regards.” Then, skip a line. Below that, write out your full name. When you write a formal email, it's important to include a professional conclusion, even if you’re friendly with your professor.\\n“Sincerely, Alex Hudson.”\\n2. Sending the Email\\n2-1. Attach a cover letter and resume if you’re applying for a job or internship.\\nWhen your professor agrees to write the letter, they’ll need additional information about you and your qualifications. Write a cover letter, create a resume, and attach both so your professor doesn’t have to ask for them later on. Mention the attachments in your email, too. For example:\\n“Below, I’ve attached my resume and cover letter for reference. If there’s any other information you need, I’m happy to provide it!”\\n“With this email, you’ll find my resume, cover letter, and qualifications for the job. Let me know if there’s anything else you need from me!”\\n2-2. Include a summary document listing the activities and courses you took.\\nWrite a document that describes each course you’ve taken so far, your grades, any activities and clubs you’ve participated in, and awards you’ve received for your work. Then, attach it to the email so your professor can refer to the document while writing and better understand your qualifications.\\nYou might also attach samples of your work and a draft of your application essay. This will help your professor tailor your letter to your application.\\nDon’t include your formal request as a letter attachment. Write it directly in the body of the email and only attach additional key documents like the summary and resume.\\n2-3. Use a professional subject line that explains the purpose of your email.\\nLet your professor know up front that you’re requesting a letter of recommendation. They likely get a lot of emails, so a professional-sounding subject line will show your professor that the email is timely and important. Plus, a clear and descriptive subject line tells them exactly what to expect from the rest of your email.\\nYour subject line might read, “Request for a letter of recommendation for graduate school,” or “Request for a letter of recommendation for a summer internship.”\\n3. Choosing a Professor & Timing Your Request\\n3-1. Pick a professor who knows you well and will write a good letter.\\nA letter of recommendation adds flavor and personality to your application. Where resumes offer a technical overview of your experience, letters of recommendation show who you are, what you can do, and what it’s like to work with you. Therefore, your letter will be stronger if the professor has a personal relationship with you.\\nPick a professor who has a good opinion of you, knows you by name, is familiar with your work, and has witnessed your growth as a student.\\nIt’s also a good idea to ask a professor that you’ve taken more than 1 class with and worked with outside of class; they’ve had more time to form an impression of you.\\nAsk yourself: did I perform well in their classes? Did I act professionally and ethically as their student? If the answer is “yes,” go ahead and ask for a recommendation.\\n3-2. Think of a backup plan if your first choice doesn’t work out.\\nSometimes the professor might decline—not because they don’t want to, but because they feel like know enough about you (or the position you’re applying for) to do the letter justice. That’s okay! Before sending out the first email request, brainstorm several professors you could ask for a letter. If anything happens, just send the next professor a request.\\nRemember that it’s impolite to assume a professor will say “yes,” just because you ask. You never know if something will come up, and they won’t be able to do it.\\n3-3. Make your request at least 4 to 6 weeks in advance, if possible.\\nProfessors have a lot to do, from grading, teaching, and lesson plans to helping other students. You’re more likely to get a positive response if you give them plenty of time to write a letter! Ask them for the letter well before the due date so they don’t feel rushed and you have time to look for another reference if necessary.\\nDouble-check the letter of recommendation’s due date since you’ll need to include it in your request. Let your professor know if you’d like the letter sent to you a little early, too.\\nAsk one professor for a letter at a time (unless you need multiple letters). It can be tempting to cast a wide net and ask several at once, but it’s better to be considerate of their time and only ask when you need to.\\n3-4. Follow up with your professor 3 days before the letter’s due date.\\nGive your professor a few days to accept after sending your initial request. Then, once they do, set a reminder to reach out again 3 days before the letter’s deadline. If they haven’t sent over a letter of recommendation by then, check in with a polite reminder and ask them for an update. For example:\\n“I’m writing to touch base about the letter of recommendation for my internship application and ensure you have everything you need from me since the deadline is April 1st. Let me know if there’s anything else I can provide for you!”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking for a letter of recommendation can feel stressful, but don’t worry: we’ve got all the tips you need to craft a great email. Plus, applying to graduate programs, scholarships, internships, and jobs are all part of the college experience, so your professor is used to writing letters of recommendation. So long as you’re polite and give them plenty of advance notice, they’ll be happy to help you! Read on for a step-by-step guide to asking for a letter of recommendation via email, complete with examples.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Writing the Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Greet your professor using their proper title.\", \"描述\": \"Begin your email just like you’d write a letter, and make a great first impression with a proper salutation like “Dear” or “Good afternoon.” Unless you’re on a first-name basis, it’s also good etiquette to address your professor with their professional title and last name.\\nBegin an email request with “Dear Dr. Hamilton” or “Good morning, Dr. Johnson.”\\nIf you’re not sure what your professor’s preferred title is, look up your class syllabus on their website (or the school’s website).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Re-introduce yourself to refresh your professor’s memory.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you and your professor are on good terms, use the first 1 or 2 sentences of your request to remind them who you are. Give them your name, the classes you’ve taken with them, and any extracurricular or one-on-one activities you’ve done together too. Keep this section concise and get right to the point!\\n“My name is Katie Williams. I took your fiction writing workshop my junior and senior year, and you helped me outline my senior capstone project.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain the purpose of your email and why you need a letter.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your professor what you’re applying for, with details about the educational program, internship, or job, and let them know that the application requires a letter of recommendation. Avoid starting a tangent or talking about other unrelated things; stay on task and show your professor that you mean business.\\nUse assertive and specific language to project confidence. Rather than asking, “Can you write a letter of recommendation?” ask your professor for the type of letter you want with words like “strong” or “compelling.”\\n“I’m applying to UCLA’s graduate program for Film and Television, and I was hoping that you’d write a compelling letter of recommendation for me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell your professor why you want a letter from them.\", \"描述\": \"Spend the next paragraph explaining how this professor impacted your life, what you learned from them, and why you asked them for a letter. You can also tell them a little more about yourself, why you’re applying for this particular position, and how you think their recommendation will help you get accepted.\\nAdd a little flattery to your request! Your professor might be more enthusiastic about writing you a letter as a result.\\n“Your classes helped me grow as a writer. Thanks to your help, my story has been accepted for publication. I’m grateful to have such a skillful, imaginative instructor to offer me guidance.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Mention anything you want the letter of recommendation to include.\", \"描述\": \"Start a new paragraph and tactfully let your professor know what information and experiences you hope they’ll discuss. Do this by bringing up the qualifications needed for the position or program you’re applying to and reminding your professor of instances that prove your abilities. That gives them starting point when they begin the letter!\\n“The employer is looking for someone with programming skills and a strong work ethic. I believe you can speak to my drive and commitment after I tackled the app-creation project in your Computer Science class.”\\n“This internship calls for a candidate with strong drawing and painting skills. As my advanced painting professor, I was hoping you could speak about the projects I completed in your class.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Inform your professor of the due date and how to submit the letter.\", \"描述\": \"Submissions might be through a physical address or a digital address. If they’re submitting it digitally, provide either the email address or a link where they can upload the letter. Getting your application done in time will be much easier if your professor knows exactly when the letter is due and where to send it.\\n“The letter of recommendation is due January 15, 2023. You can send it to [email protected].”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Thank your professor\", \"描述\": \"In the last paragraph, let them know you value the time they spent reading your request and the time they’ll spend writing the letter. Thank them for their consideration, and tell them how much you appreciate their guidance thus far as your professor. No matter what happens, an earnest “thank you” is the polite thing to do!\\n“Thank you for reading this request and for everything you’ve taught me. I really appreciate the time and energy you spent guiding me, and I hope you’ll consider writing my letter of recommendation.”\\nSend a follow-up thank-you email when your professor agrees to write the letter, and let them know if you eventually get the job or get admitted. They’ll appreciate hearing from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Sign the email with a complimentary close and your name.\", \"描述\": \"Below the final paragraph, use a closing statement like “Sincerely,” “Your former student,” or “Best regards.” Then, skip a line. Below that, write out your full name. When you write a formal email, it's important to include a professional conclusion, even if you’re friendly with your professor.\\n“Sincerely, Alex Hudson.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Sending the Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Attach a cover letter and resume if you’re applying for a job or internship.\", \"描述\": \"When your professor agrees to write the letter, they’ll need additional information about you and your qualifications. Write a cover letter, create a resume, and attach both so your professor doesn’t have to ask for them later on. Mention the attachments in your email, too. For example:\\n“Below, I’ve attached my resume and cover letter for reference. If there’s any other information you need, I’m happy to provide it!”\\n“With this email, you’ll find my resume, cover letter, and qualifications for the job. Let me know if there’s anything else you need from me!”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Include a summary document listing the activities and courses you took.\", \"描述\": \"Write a document that describes each course you’ve taken so far, your grades, any activities and clubs you’ve participated in, and awards you’ve received for your work. Then, attach it to the email so your professor can refer to the document while writing and better understand your qualifications.\\nYou might also attach samples of your work and a draft of your application essay. This will help your professor tailor your letter to your application.\\nDon’t include your formal request as a letter attachment. Write it directly in the body of the email and only attach additional key documents like the summary and resume.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use a professional subject line that explains the purpose of your email.\", \"描述\": \"Let your professor know up front that you’re requesting a letter of recommendation. They likely get a lot of emails, so a professional-sounding subject line will show your professor that the email is timely and important. Plus, a clear and descriptive subject line tells them exactly what to expect from the rest of your email.\\nYour subject line might read, “Request for a letter of recommendation for graduate school,” or “Request for a letter of recommendation for a summer internship.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Professor & Timing Your Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a professor who knows you well and will write a good letter.\", \"描述\": \"A letter of recommendation adds flavor and personality to your application. Where resumes offer a technical overview of your experience, letters of recommendation show who you are, what you can do, and what it’s like to work with you. Therefore, your letter will be stronger if the professor has a personal relationship with you.\\nPick a professor who has a good opinion of you, knows you by name, is familiar with your work, and has witnessed your growth as a student.\\nIt’s also a good idea to ask a professor that you’ve taken more than 1 class with and worked with outside of class; they’ve had more time to form an impression of you.\\nAsk yourself: did I perform well in their classes? Did I act professionally and ethically as their student? If the answer is “yes,” go ahead and ask for a recommendation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think of a backup plan if your first choice doesn’t work out.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the professor might decline—not because they don’t want to, but because they feel like know enough about you (or the position you’re applying for) to do the letter justice. That’s okay! Before sending out the first email request, brainstorm several professors you could ask for a letter. If anything happens, just send the next professor a request.\\nRemember that it’s impolite to assume a professor will say “yes,” just because you ask. You never know if something will come up, and they won’t be able to do it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make your request at least 4 to 6 weeks in advance, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"Professors have a lot to do, from grading, teaching, and lesson plans to helping other students. You’re more likely to get a positive response if you give them plenty of time to write a letter! Ask them for the letter well before the due date so they don’t feel rushed and you have time to look for another reference if necessary.\\nDouble-check the letter of recommendation’s due date since you’ll need to include it in your request. Let your professor know if you’d like the letter sent to you a little early, too.\\nAsk one professor for a letter at a time (unless you need multiple letters). It can be tempting to cast a wide net and ask several at once, but it’s better to be considerate of their time and only ask when you need to.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Follow up with your professor 3 days before the letter’s due date.\", \"描述\": \"Give your professor a few days to accept after sending your initial request. Then, once they do, set a reminder to reach out again 3 days before the letter’s deadline. If they haven’t sent over a letter of recommendation by then, check in with a polite reminder and ask them for an update. For example:\\n“I’m writing to touch base about the letter of recommendation for my internship application and ensure you have everything you need from me since the deadline is April 1st. Let me know if there’s anything else I can provide for you!”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,523 | How to Ask a Best Friend if They Like You | 1. Preparing to Ask
1-1. Look for signs of attraction.
Before you ask, look for signs that they have a crush on you. At best, this will give you confidence as you prepare to ask them. At worst, you'll have a realistic idea of their feelings.
Watch for changes in your friendship. Does your friend act differently around you? Maybe they laugh more at your jokes or seem shyer. Significant changes in their behavior could mean they've developed feelings for you, especially if they seem nervous or excited.
If you're bad at reading the signs, ask a mutual friend! Have a conversation about your best friend with them. Casually ask if they know whether your friend likes anyone. Sometimes a second opinion offers an excellent perspective.
Unless you ask them, you can't know one way or the other. Don't assume you know for sure until you have talked to them.
1-2. Practice asking them beforehand.
Running through your plan before will save you from awkward moments later. If talking aloud helps, try practicing with a friend or in a mirror. Getting the words out can help you visualize the situation better.
Prepare for the various ways they might respond. What will you do if they say they like you? What if they don't? What if they refuse to respond? You don't have to be a mind reader, but work through multiple outcomes.
1-3. Imagine your own worst-case scenario.
Facing your fears before you ask them the question can save you stress and anxiety. Maybe they don't like you, they feel uncomfortable, or they don't want to be your friend anymore. Is asking them still worth it? If so, ask them anyways.
No matter what happens, you might feel relief after. Even if your worst-case scenario happens, you'll know their answer for sure. Only you can decide whether the risk is worth it.
Thinking about the worst-case scenario can be helpful, but don't approach the conversation with an all-or-nothing attitude. Even if they don't want to be more than friends, you can still stay friends with them.
1-4. Find the right time to ask.
Think about when and where you and your friend are together. Determine what circumstances would be ideal to ask them in. You will not want to ask them if they like you spontaneously.
Ask them out in person if you can. While asking through a text or phone call can seem comfortable, you'll appear more sincere in person.
Where is just as important as when. Find a place that is quiet and secluded from other people. You'll both want to focus on the conversation and not those around you. If you see your friend at a loud or crowded place, walk with them to somewhere you can be alone before you ask.
Avoid asking them in front of their friends. Your friend may not feel ready to share their feelings with others and might not tell the truth.
2. Having the Conversation
2-1. Tell your friend you want to ask them a question.
Once you've found the right place and time, let them know you want to talk to them about something that's been on your mind lately. If they say now is not a good time, respect their feelings and save the conversation for later. If they're ready to talk, go ahead!
For example, you could say, "Hey, Emma, are you busy? I have a quick question for you. Could we chat for a second?"
2-2. Help your friend feel comfortable.
One-on-one conversations can be scary, especially when talking about feelings. If you have a natural sense of humor, crack jokes. If not, start with small talk and ease into the personal questions.
Don't make a big deal when you steer towards the heart of the conversation. If you're visibly nervous, your best friend will also feel uneasy. Avoid putting unnecessary pressure on them.
2-3. Share your feelings first.
If you like them, tell them. If you can be open with them, they will be more open with you.
In some cases, you may not feel attracted to your best friend and have other reasons for asking. In this case, do not lie as a means of getting information. Instead, tell them how meaningful your friendship is.
You might say, for example, “Tyler, I care about you a lot. Your friendship means so much to me. I'm glad we've gotten to know each other and that we spend so much time together."
2-4. Ask them directly.
When asking them who they like, you might attempt to beat around the bush. In this situation, you need to be blunt. Ask them if they like you and, if so, whether they want to be more than friends.
Let them know that you care about them unconditionally. They may worry that if they do not like you, you will abandon them. Tell them you are here for them, no matter what.
You could say something like, "Riley, before I ask you this question, I want you to know that I care about you no matter what. Lately, I've noticed that our relationship has changed a little. I've wondered if you might like me more than a friend. Am I right in thinking this?"
3. Reacting After Asking
3-1. Listen to their response.
If you're nervous, you may feel overwhelmed. Push through the anxiety and pay attention to their response. Try not to color their response with your own emotions. Let them speak as long as they need to, and pay attention.
Active listening shows your friend that you really do care about them. Give them the courtesy to speak because you love them, even if their answer is disappointing.
3-2. Thank them for sharing, no matter the answer.
Your best friend may worry that you are only interested them romantically. If you do care for this person, show them that this isn't the case. Tell them that you appreciate their honesty and care about them a lot.
3-3. Respect their decision.
Regardless of the answer, avoid questioning it. If they say they love you, tell them how you feel. If they do not, avoid making them feel bad or guilty.
After they answer, you may feel overwhelmed if they say no. Remember to practice beforehand to avoid freezing.
3-4. Continue nurturing your relationship.
Once you've finished the conversation, continue developing your relationship. If your friend likes you, decide how you want your relationship to change. If they don't, stay in touch and remain their friend.
After you ask, you may feel uncomfortable around them. It might take time for both of you to process this conversation. Give them time and space alone, if needed.
Sometimes asking can change the relationship in unintended ways. Romantic feelings are tricky, and your relationship might not be what it was before again. Prepare yourself beforehand, and know it's a risk you must take.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Ask\\n1-1. Look for signs of attraction.\\nBefore you ask, look for signs that they have a crush on you. At best, this will give you confidence as you prepare to ask them. At worst, you'll have a realistic idea of their feelings.\\nWatch for changes in your friendship. Does your friend act differently around you? Maybe they laugh more at your jokes or seem shyer. Significant changes in their behavior could mean they've developed feelings for you, especially if they seem nervous or excited.\\nIf you're bad at reading the signs, ask a mutual friend! Have a conversation about your best friend with them. Casually ask if they know whether your friend likes anyone. Sometimes a second opinion offers an excellent perspective.\\nUnless you ask them, you can't know one way or the other. Don't assume you know for sure until you have talked to them.\\n1-2. Practice asking them beforehand.\\nRunning through your plan before will save you from awkward moments later. If talking aloud helps, try practicing with a friend or in a mirror. Getting the words out can help you visualize the situation better.\\nPrepare for the various ways they might respond. What will you do if they say they like you? What if they don't? What if they refuse to respond? You don't have to be a mind reader, but work through multiple outcomes.\\n1-3. Imagine your own worst-case scenario.\\nFacing your fears before you ask them the question can save you stress and anxiety. Maybe they don't like you, they feel uncomfortable, or they don't want to be your friend anymore. Is asking them still worth it? If so, ask them anyways.\\nNo matter what happens, you might feel relief after. Even if your worst-case scenario happens, you'll know their answer for sure. Only you can decide whether the risk is worth it.\\nThinking about the worst-case scenario can be helpful, but don't approach the conversation with an all-or-nothing attitude. Even if they don't want to be more than friends, you can still stay friends with them.\\n1-4. Find the right time to ask.\\nThink about when and where you and your friend are together. Determine what circumstances would be ideal to ask them in. You will not want to ask them if they like you spontaneously.\\nAsk them out in person if you can. While asking through a text or phone call can seem comfortable, you'll appear more sincere in person.\\nWhere is just as important as when. Find a place that is quiet and secluded from other people. You'll both want to focus on the conversation and not those around you. If you see your friend at a loud or crowded place, walk with them to somewhere you can be alone before you ask.\\nAvoid asking them in front of their friends. Your friend may not feel ready to share their feelings with others and might not tell the truth.\\n2. Having the Conversation\\n2-1. Tell your friend you want to ask them a question.\\nOnce you've found the right place and time, let them know you want to talk to them about something that's been on your mind lately. If they say now is not a good time, respect their feelings and save the conversation for later. If they're ready to talk, go ahead!\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Hey, Emma, are you busy? I have a quick question for you. Could we chat for a second?\\\"\\n2-2. Help your friend feel comfortable.\\nOne-on-one conversations can be scary, especially when talking about feelings. If you have a natural sense of humor, crack jokes. If not, start with small talk and ease into the personal questions.\\nDon't make a big deal when you steer towards the heart of the conversation. If you're visibly nervous, your best friend will also feel uneasy. Avoid putting unnecessary pressure on them.\\n2-3. Share your feelings first.\\nIf you like them, tell them. If you can be open with them, they will be more open with you.\\nIn some cases, you may not feel attracted to your best friend and have other reasons for asking. In this case, do not lie as a means of getting information. Instead, tell them how meaningful your friendship is.\\nYou might say, for example, “Tyler, I care about you a lot. Your friendship means so much to me. I'm glad we've gotten to know each other and that we spend so much time together.\\\"\\n2-4. Ask them directly.\\nWhen asking them who they like, you might attempt to beat around the bush. In this situation, you need to be blunt. Ask them if they like you and, if so, whether they want to be more than friends.\\nLet them know that you care about them unconditionally. They may worry that if they do not like you, you will abandon them. Tell them you are here for them, no matter what.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"Riley, before I ask you this question, I want you to know that I care about you no matter what. Lately, I've noticed that our relationship has changed a little. I've wondered if you might like me more than a friend. Am I right in thinking this?\\\"\\n3. Reacting After Asking\\n3-1. Listen to their response.\\nIf you're nervous, you may feel overwhelmed. Push through the anxiety and pay attention to their response. Try not to color their response with your own emotions. Let them speak as long as they need to, and pay attention.\\nActive listening shows your friend that you really do care about them. Give them the courtesy to speak because you love them, even if their answer is disappointing.\\n3-2. Thank them for sharing, no matter the answer.\\nYour best friend may worry that you are only interested them romantically. If you do care for this person, show them that this isn't the case. Tell them that you appreciate their honesty and care about them a lot.\\n3-3. Respect their decision.\\nRegardless of the answer, avoid questioning it. If they say they love you, tell them how you feel. If they do not, avoid making them feel bad or guilty.\\nAfter they answer, you may feel overwhelmed if they say no. Remember to practice beforehand to avoid freezing.\\n3-4. Continue nurturing your relationship.\\nOnce you've finished the conversation, continue developing your relationship. If your friend likes you, decide how you want your relationship to change. If they don't, stay in touch and remain their friend.\\nAfter you ask, you may feel uncomfortable around them. It might take time for both of you to process this conversation. Give them time and space alone, if needed.\\nSometimes asking can change the relationship in unintended ways. Romantic feelings are tricky, and your relationship might not be what it was before again. Prepare yourself beforehand, and know it's a risk you must take.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have a crush on your best friend, you might feel conflicted. On one hand, you're probably dying to know if they like you back. On the other hand, though, you might also worry that asking could change your friendship forever. Asking them is a brave decision. When you're ready to ask, you'll need mental preparation to make the conversation go well.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for signs of attraction.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask, look for signs that they have a crush on you. At best, this will give you confidence as you prepare to ask them. At worst, you'll have a realistic idea of their feelings.\\nWatch for changes in your friendship. Does your friend act differently around you? Maybe they laugh more at your jokes or seem shyer. Significant changes in their behavior could mean they've developed feelings for you, especially if they seem nervous or excited.\\nIf you're bad at reading the signs, ask a mutual friend! Have a conversation about your best friend with them. Casually ask if they know whether your friend likes anyone. Sometimes a second opinion offers an excellent perspective.\\nUnless you ask them, you can't know one way or the other. Don't assume you know for sure until you have talked to them.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice asking them beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"Running through your plan before will save you from awkward moments later. If talking aloud helps, try practicing with a friend or in a mirror. Getting the words out can help you visualize the situation better.\\nPrepare for the various ways they might respond. What will you do if they say they like you? What if they don't? What if they refuse to respond? You don't have to be a mind reader, but work through multiple outcomes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Imagine your own worst-case scenario.\", \"描述\": \"Facing your fears before you ask them the question can save you stress and anxiety. Maybe they don't like you, they feel uncomfortable, or they don't want to be your friend anymore. Is asking them still worth it? If so, ask them anyways.\\nNo matter what happens, you might feel relief after. Even if your worst-case scenario happens, you'll know their answer for sure. Only you can decide whether the risk is worth it.\\nThinking about the worst-case scenario can be helpful, but don't approach the conversation with an all-or-nothing attitude. Even if they don't want to be more than friends, you can still stay friends with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find the right time to ask.\", \"描述\": \"Think about when and where you and your friend are together. Determine what circumstances would be ideal to ask them in. You will not want to ask them if they like you spontaneously.\\nAsk them out in person if you can. While asking through a text or phone call can seem comfortable, you'll appear more sincere in person.\\nWhere is just as important as when. Find a place that is quiet and secluded from other people. You'll both want to focus on the conversation and not those around you. If you see your friend at a loud or crowded place, walk with them to somewhere you can be alone before you ask.\\nAvoid asking them in front of their friends. Your friend may not feel ready to share their feelings with others and might not tell the truth.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your friend you want to ask them a question.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've found the right place and time, let them know you want to talk to them about something that's been on your mind lately. If they say now is not a good time, respect their feelings and save the conversation for later. If they're ready to talk, go ahead!\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Hey, Emma, are you busy? I have a quick question for you. Could we chat for a second?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Help your friend feel comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"One-on-one conversations can be scary, especially when talking about feelings. If you have a natural sense of humor, crack jokes. If not, start with small talk and ease into the personal questions.\\nDon't make a big deal when you steer towards the heart of the conversation. If you're visibly nervous, your best friend will also feel uneasy. Avoid putting unnecessary pressure on them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Share your feelings first.\", \"描述\": \"If you like them, tell them. If you can be open with them, they will be more open with you.\\nIn some cases, you may not feel attracted to your best friend and have other reasons for asking. In this case, do not lie as a means of getting information. Instead, tell them how meaningful your friendship is.\\nYou might say, for example, “Tyler, I care about you a lot. Your friendship means so much to me. I'm glad we've gotten to know each other and that we spend so much time together.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask them directly.\", \"描述\": \"When asking them who they like, you might attempt to beat around the bush. In this situation, you need to be blunt. Ask them if they like you and, if so, whether they want to be more than friends.\\nLet them know that you care about them unconditionally. They may worry that if they do not like you, you will abandon them. Tell them you are here for them, no matter what.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"Riley, before I ask you this question, I want you to know that I care about you no matter what. Lately, I've noticed that our relationship has changed a little. I've wondered if you might like me more than a friend. Am I right in thinking this?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reacting After Asking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen to their response.\", \"描述\": \"If you're nervous, you may feel overwhelmed. Push through the anxiety and pay attention to their response. Try not to color their response with your own emotions. Let them speak as long as they need to, and pay attention.\\nActive listening shows your friend that you really do care about them. Give them the courtesy to speak because you love them, even if their answer is disappointing.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Thank them for sharing, no matter the answer.\", \"描述\": \"Your best friend may worry that you are only interested them romantically. If you do care for this person, show them that this isn't the case. Tell them that you appreciate their honesty and care about them a lot.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respect their decision.\", \"描述\": \"Regardless of the answer, avoid questioning it. If they say they love you, tell them how you feel. If they do not, avoid making them feel bad or guilty.\\nAfter they answer, you may feel overwhelmed if they say no. Remember to practice beforehand to avoid freezing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Continue nurturing your relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've finished the conversation, continue developing your relationship. If your friend likes you, decide how you want your relationship to change. If they don't, stay in touch and remain their friend.\\nAfter you ask, you may feel uncomfortable around them. It might take time for both of you to process this conversation. Give them time and space alone, if needed.\\nSometimes asking can change the relationship in unintended ways. Romantic feelings are tricky, and your relationship might not be what it was before again. Prepare yourself beforehand, and know it's a risk you must take.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,524 | How to Ask a Boy out in Middle School | 1. Getting to Know Him
1-1. Talk to him casually about what he’s interested in.
Ask him about any books, movies, or music that he likes—maybe you’ll find something you have in common. You can also just chat about the classes you have together. Finding a mutual interest can help you form a connection.
Try asking: “Do you play any sports?” or “What’s your favorite movie?”
Start up a conversation in the hallway between classes or after school.
Try some playful flirting to build a connection with him and make him smile.
1-2. Find out if he’s available.
If he’s already dating someone, or not interested in people of your gender, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by just being friends. If you’re not sure if he’s in a relationship, try checking social media or asking your friends.
Try asking your friends or his friends, “Do you know if he’s dating anyone?” This will make it pretty obvious you’re interested in him, so be prepared for that.
You can also ask him directly, if you’re feeling bold: “Are you single?”
1-3. Text or message online to get to know him better.
Texting is a good way to flirt with someone, because you’ll probably be less nervous than when you’re talking in person. You can send him memes that made you think of him or talk about your day. If you have contact with him outside of school, it will let him know you are interested in getting to know him better.
Share a song you like or a funny meme.
Try not to send too many text messages at once, and instead wait for him to respond.
1-4. Decide if you want to date him.
Dating in middle school can mean many different things. It might mean you hang out with him with groups of people, you him text a lot, you eat lunch together, or that you hang out outside of school. There’s no one right way to date! It also might depend on how your parents feel about you dating.
If your parents don’t want you to date, try explaining that you will just hang out with him in groups, or that you will be back by a certain time.
2. Asking the Question
2-1. Pick the right time and place.
Try to ask him out when he’s alone and not surrounded by friends. This will reduce the pressure on both of you, so it’s not a big public moment. If you don’t want to ask him in person, message him after school.
It’s probably better not to message at some weird time like 3 in the morning.
2-2. Plan what you are going to say ahead of time.
It can be stressful in the moment, so if you’ve planned what you want to say specifically, there’s less chance you’ll chicken out. It’s best to include a time in your question, instead of a vague, “do you want to hang out sometime?”
Try to be direct to avoid confusion: “You seem really cool. Want to go out this weekend?”
You can also ask him to a specific activity: “Want to hang out after school sometime this week?” “Want to go get ice cream on Friday?”
Try to avoid asking him to the movies for a first date, because you won’t be able to talk very much in the theatre. A dinner date might also be too much pressure.
2-3. Give yourself a pep talk.
It’s okay to be nervous when you’re asking him out. It’s actually a good sign, because it means you really like him. If you’re feeling scared, ask your friends for support. Write down 5 qualities about yourself that you admire. It might help to give yourself a deadline to ask him out, so you don’t keep putting it off forever.
Practice giving yourself affirmations like, “You can do it!”
2-4. Ask him in person, when there aren’t too many people around.
Remember to smile and make eye contact. Start by saying hi and a casual question, like “how’s your day going?” Then move on to asking him out. If you chicken out the first time you try, just try again!
Remember, you’ll never know if he wants to go out if you don’t ask.
2-5. Ask him out with a text or a note if you’re feeling shy.
Write the note ahead of time and fold it up. Give him the note directly, instead of passing it to him in class with a lot of people in between. You don’t want the whole class to read your note!
Keep it short and simple. There’s no need to write a whole love letter at this point.
2-6. Be prepared for a yes or a no.
If he says that he’s busy, but suggests another time to meet, then that probably means he’s interested. But if he says no, respect his decision. It doesn’t feel good to be rejected, but it’s something that everyone experiences in life, and it doesn’t say anything bad about you.
Keep your response really casual and chill if he's not interested. You could say, "Oh, well, that's a bummer. Good chatting with you, though." and leave it at that.
It’s okay to be sad if asking someone out doesn’t work. Try talking to your friends about it and doing some activity that you love to take your mind off it.
Tips
Only ask him out if you like him. You don't have to date someone to be cool.
If he’s already in a relationship, don’t ask him out.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Him\\n1-1. Talk to him casually about what he’s interested in.\\nAsk him about any books, movies, or music that he likes—maybe you’ll find something you have in common. You can also just chat about the classes you have together. Finding a mutual interest can help you form a connection.\\nTry asking: “Do you play any sports?” or “What’s your favorite movie?”\\nStart up a conversation in the hallway between classes or after school.\\nTry some playful flirting to build a connection with him and make him smile.\\n1-2. Find out if he’s available.\\nIf he’s already dating someone, or not interested in people of your gender, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by just being friends. If you’re not sure if he’s in a relationship, try checking social media or asking your friends.\\nTry asking your friends or his friends, “Do you know if he’s dating anyone?” This will make it pretty obvious you’re interested in him, so be prepared for that.\\nYou can also ask him directly, if you’re feeling bold: “Are you single?”\\n1-3. Text or message online to get to know him better.\\nTexting is a good way to flirt with someone, because you’ll probably be less nervous than when you’re talking in person. You can send him memes that made you think of him or talk about your day. If you have contact with him outside of school, it will let him know you are interested in getting to know him better.\\nShare a song you like or a funny meme.\\nTry not to send too many text messages at once, and instead wait for him to respond.\\n1-4. Decide if you want to date him.\\nDating in middle school can mean many different things. It might mean you hang out with him with groups of people, you him text a lot, you eat lunch together, or that you hang out outside of school. There’s no one right way to date! It also might depend on how your parents feel about you dating.\\nIf your parents don’t want you to date, try explaining that you will just hang out with him in groups, or that you will be back by a certain time.\\n2. Asking the Question\\n2-1. Pick the right time and place.\\nTry to ask him out when he’s alone and not surrounded by friends. This will reduce the pressure on both of you, so it’s not a big public moment. If you don’t want to ask him in person, message him after school.\\nIt’s probably better not to message at some weird time like 3 in the morning.\\n2-2. Plan what you are going to say ahead of time.\\nIt can be stressful in the moment, so if you’ve planned what you want to say specifically, there’s less chance you’ll chicken out. It’s best to include a time in your question, instead of a vague, “do you want to hang out sometime?”\\nTry to be direct to avoid confusion: “You seem really cool. Want to go out this weekend?”\\nYou can also ask him to a specific activity: “Want to hang out after school sometime this week?” “Want to go get ice cream on Friday?”\\nTry to avoid asking him to the movies for a first date, because you won’t be able to talk very much in the theatre. A dinner date might also be too much pressure.\\n2-3. Give yourself a pep talk.\\nIt’s okay to be nervous when you’re asking him out. It’s actually a good sign, because it means you really like him. If you’re feeling scared, ask your friends for support. Write down 5 qualities about yourself that you admire. It might help to give yourself a deadline to ask him out, so you don’t keep putting it off forever.\\nPractice giving yourself affirmations like, “You can do it!”\\n2-4. Ask him in person, when there aren’t too many people around.\\nRemember to smile and make eye contact. Start by saying hi and a casual question, like “how’s your day going?” Then move on to asking him out. If you chicken out the first time you try, just try again!\\nRemember, you’ll never know if he wants to go out if you don’t ask.\\n2-5. Ask him out with a text or a note if you’re feeling shy.\\nWrite the note ahead of time and fold it up. Give him the note directly, instead of passing it to him in class with a lot of people in between. You don’t want the whole class to read your note!\\nKeep it short and simple. There’s no need to write a whole love letter at this point.\\n2-6. Be prepared for a yes or a no.\\nIf he says that he’s busy, but suggests another time to meet, then that probably means he’s interested. But if he says no, respect his decision. It doesn’t feel good to be rejected, but it’s something that everyone experiences in life, and it doesn’t say anything bad about you.\\nKeep your response really casual and chill if he's not interested. You could say, \\\"Oh, well, that's a bummer. Good chatting with you, though.\\\" and leave it at that.\\nIt’s okay to be sad if asking someone out doesn’t work. Try talking to your friends about it and doing some activity that you love to take your mind off it.\\nTips\\nOnly ask him out if you like him. You don't have to date someone to be cool.\\nIf he’s already in a relationship, don’t ask him out.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Has a cute boy in middle school caught your eye? Asking someone out is nerve-wracking, but there are some things you can do to make it easier. First get to know your crush, and then move on to flirting. You can ask them out in person if you’re feeling brave, or with a text message if that feels easier.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Him\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to him casually about what he’s interested in.\", \"描述\": \"Ask him about any books, movies, or music that he likes—maybe you’ll find something you have in common. You can also just chat about the classes you have together. Finding a mutual interest can help you form a connection.\\nTry asking: “Do you play any sports?” or “What’s your favorite movie?”\\nStart up a conversation in the hallway between classes or after school.\\nTry some playful flirting to build a connection with him and make him smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out if he’s available.\", \"描述\": \"If he’s already dating someone, or not interested in people of your gender, you can save yourself a lot of trouble by just being friends. If you’re not sure if he’s in a relationship, try checking social media or asking your friends.\\nTry asking your friends or his friends, “Do you know if he’s dating anyone?” This will make it pretty obvious you’re interested in him, so be prepared for that.\\nYou can also ask him directly, if you’re feeling bold: “Are you single?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Text or message online to get to know him better.\", \"描述\": \"Texting is a good way to flirt with someone, because you’ll probably be less nervous than when you’re talking in person. You can send him memes that made you think of him or talk about your day. If you have contact with him outside of school, it will let him know you are interested in getting to know him better.\\nShare a song you like or a funny meme.\\nTry not to send too many text messages at once, and instead wait for him to respond.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide if you want to date him.\", \"描述\": \"Dating in middle school can mean many different things. It might mean you hang out with him with groups of people, you him text a lot, you eat lunch together, or that you hang out outside of school. There’s no one right way to date! It also might depend on how your parents feel about you dating.\\nIf your parents don’t want you to date, try explaining that you will just hang out with him in groups, or that you will be back by a certain time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick the right time and place.\", \"描述\": \"Try to ask him out when he’s alone and not surrounded by friends. This will reduce the pressure on both of you, so it’s not a big public moment. If you don’t want to ask him in person, message him after school.\\nIt’s probably better not to message at some weird time like 3 in the morning.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan what you are going to say ahead of time.\", \"描述\": \"It can be stressful in the moment, so if you’ve planned what you want to say specifically, there’s less chance you’ll chicken out. It’s best to include a time in your question, instead of a vague, “do you want to hang out sometime?”\\nTry to be direct to avoid confusion: “You seem really cool. Want to go out this weekend?”\\nYou can also ask him to a specific activity: “Want to hang out after school sometime this week?” “Want to go get ice cream on Friday?”\\nTry to avoid asking him to the movies for a first date, because you won’t be able to talk very much in the theatre. A dinner date might also be too much pressure.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a pep talk.\", \"描述\": \"It’s okay to be nervous when you’re asking him out. It’s actually a good sign, because it means you really like him. If you’re feeling scared, ask your friends for support. Write down 5 qualities about yourself that you admire. It might help to give yourself a deadline to ask him out, so you don’t keep putting it off forever.\\nPractice giving yourself affirmations like, “You can do it!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask him in person, when there aren’t too many people around.\", \"描述\": \"Remember to smile and make eye contact. Start by saying hi and a casual question, like “how’s your day going?” Then move on to asking him out. If you chicken out the first time you try, just try again!\\nRemember, you’ll never know if he wants to go out if you don’t ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask him out with a text or a note if you’re feeling shy.\", \"描述\": \"Write the note ahead of time and fold it up. Give him the note directly, instead of passing it to him in class with a lot of people in between. You don’t want the whole class to read your note!\\nKeep it short and simple. There’s no need to write a whole love letter at this point.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for a yes or a no.\", \"描述\": \"If he says that he’s busy, but suggests another time to meet, then that probably means he’s interested. But if he says no, respect his decision. It doesn’t feel good to be rejected, but it’s something that everyone experiences in life, and it doesn’t say anything bad about you.\\nKeep your response really casual and chill if he's not interested. You could say, \\\"Oh, well, that's a bummer. Good chatting with you, though.\\\" and leave it at that.\\nIt’s okay to be sad if asking someone out doesn’t work. Try talking to your friends about it and doing some activity that you love to take your mind off it.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Only ask him out if you like him. You don't have to date someone to be cool.\\n\", \"If he’s already in a relationship, don’t ask him out.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,525 | How to Ask a Boyfriend out on a Date | 1. Where would you like to go?
1-1. Before asking him, think about where you want to go.
As part of this, consider how much it will cost, how far away it is, how long the activity will take and whether you have already done something similar before.
Do you want the date to be just the two of you or would also like friends to come along?
1-2. Choose an activity that both of you will enjoy.
While making a compromise now and then to do something he likes a lot that you don't much care for is part of the relationship, if this is the first time for asking him on a date, choose something you will feel comfortable about too.
2. Ways to ask your boyfriend on a date
2-1. Consider the method you'll feel most comfortable with.
This will depend on your relationship and how you usually contact each other too. You can text him, call him, email him, talk to him on IM (instant messenger), write him a nice letter, or speak face to face.
You might also like to contact him one way, then follow up with another way, just to confirm his affirmation to going on the date, and the time, etc.
2-2. If you feel really worried about how he will respond, try face to face.
It's a lot harder to say no or push aside someone's kind request when you're face to face. He'll see immediately how much effort this requires of you and be more willing to meet you all the way if you are together when you ask. Have courage––he cares about you after all!
3. Asking him
3-1. Just relax.
He is your boyfriend, after all. While he might say no, he is more likely to say yes, or to suggest you make another suggestion if he does say no. He isn't going to bite you or laugh at you; if he does, he's not boyfriend material.
3-2. Ask him what he is doing on the date you'd like to arrange the activity together.
For example:
"Are you doing anything this weekend? I have an idea for something we could do together."
"Any chance you're free this coming Thursday night? There's something I'd like to suggest we do together."
"Would you be free next week? I'd like to go somewhere together for a few days of the vacation if you are."
3-3. If he says he's free, go ahead and ask him on the date.
Tell him what you'd like to do together, why you think it'd be fun and any other relevant details to help him reach his decision.
3-4. If he says yes, that's a great idea, well done!
Start planning the activity together.
4. What if he says no?
4-1. If he says he is really busy, don't push it.
He actually means it and being pestered about it will end up irritating him and could sour things for you both. Just say something like: "Okay, maybe another time then", or "No problems. It'll keep until you're free." He'll appreciate the lack of pressure and the willingness to change your plans for him.
Leave off asking him again for at least a week. That way, you won't seem pushy or desperate.
4-2. If he says no because he doesn't like what you've suggested, be ready with an alternative.
For example, if he says he has already seen a movie or doesn't like the genre you've suggested, have one or two different ones to offer instead. Or, switch from movies to skating/a sports game/dinner out, etc. Be ready with flexible options.
Other possibilities include going to the park, the beach, out of town, etc.
Another option is to ask him what he'd rather do. However, it's a good idea to offer your ideas first, to show you've really thought about this.
4-3. If he says he needs to think about your suggestion, take it at face value.
He does need to think about it. This does not mean he is not interested in you; it means he needs to think about the activity. Feel free to say something like: "Sure, no worries. If you do want to, maybe you can let me know by tomorrow/Friday/the weekend, so that I can book tickets/reserve the seats/etc.".
4-4. Don't force him.
That's a good way of him dumping you. There are plenty of other times to ask again.
If he keeps declining your suggestions, it's a good idea to ask him what he'd rather do. If you feel you can't ever make suggestions, you might need to rethink the viability of the relationship, as all relationships are about give and take.
Tips
Try not to have any interruptions, after all, this is your date! Make it flawless, it's your night out with your man!
Be positive and upbeat! Guys sometimes get bored, so have some fun ideas ready.
Being sweet and cute is not necessary, but it's a nice touch.
Warnings
Don't dress snazzy, it may attract unwanted attention, unless your boyfriend likes to make other guys jealous on purpose. It will also make him think you worked too hard on planning this. This doesn't mean don't try to look cute- just don't go overboard.
Avoid being too clingy. Every once in a while, your boyfriend needs time by himself or with his friends.[6]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Where would you like to go?\\n1-1. Before asking him, think about where you want to go.\\nAs part of this, consider how much it will cost, how far away it is, how long the activity will take and whether you have already done something similar before.\\nDo you want the date to be just the two of you or would also like friends to come along?\\n1-2. Choose an activity that both of you will enjoy.\\nWhile making a compromise now and then to do something he likes a lot that you don't much care for is part of the relationship, if this is the first time for asking him on a date, choose something you will feel comfortable about too.\\n2. Ways to ask your boyfriend on a date\\n2-1. Consider the method you'll feel most comfortable with.\\nThis will depend on your relationship and how you usually contact each other too. You can text him, call him, email him, talk to him on IM (instant messenger), write him a nice letter, or speak face to face.\\nYou might also like to contact him one way, then follow up with another way, just to confirm his affirmation to going on the date, and the time, etc.\\n2-2. If you feel really worried about how he will respond, try face to face.\\nIt's a lot harder to say no or push aside someone's kind request when you're face to face. He'll see immediately how much effort this requires of you and be more willing to meet you all the way if you are together when you ask. Have courage––he cares about you after all!\\n3. Asking him\\n3-1. Just relax.\\nHe is your boyfriend, after all. While he might say no, he is more likely to say yes, or to suggest you make another suggestion if he does say no. He isn't going to bite you or laugh at you; if he does, he's not boyfriend material.\\n3-2. Ask him what he is doing on the date you'd like to arrange the activity together.\\nFor example:\\n\\\"Are you doing anything this weekend? I have an idea for something we could do together.\\\"\\n\\\"Any chance you're free this coming Thursday night? There's something I'd like to suggest we do together.\\\"\\n\\\"Would you be free next week? I'd like to go somewhere together for a few days of the vacation if you are.\\\"\\n3-3. If he says he's free, go ahead and ask him on the date.\\nTell him what you'd like to do together, why you think it'd be fun and any other relevant details to help him reach his decision.\\n3-4. If he says yes, that's a great idea, well done!\\nStart planning the activity together.\\n4. What if he says no?\\n4-1. If he says he is really busy, don't push it.\\nHe actually means it and being pestered about it will end up irritating him and could sour things for you both. Just say something like: \\\"Okay, maybe another time then\\\", or \\\"No problems. It'll keep until you're free.\\\" He'll appreciate the lack of pressure and the willingness to change your plans for him.\\nLeave off asking him again for at least a week. That way, you won't seem pushy or desperate.\\n4-2. If he says no because he doesn't like what you've suggested, be ready with an alternative.\\nFor example, if he says he has already seen a movie or doesn't like the genre you've suggested, have one or two different ones to offer instead. Or, switch from movies to skating/a sports game/dinner out, etc. Be ready with flexible options.\\nOther possibilities include going to the park, the beach, out of town, etc.\\nAnother option is to ask him what he'd rather do. However, it's a good idea to offer your ideas first, to show you've really thought about this.\\n4-3. If he says he needs to think about your suggestion, take it at face value.\\nHe does need to think about it. This does not mean he is not interested in you; it means he needs to think about the activity. Feel free to say something like: \\\"Sure, no worries. If you do want to, maybe you can let me know by tomorrow/Friday/the weekend, so that I can book tickets/reserve the seats/etc.\\\".\\n4-4. Don't force him.\\nThat's a good way of him dumping you. There are plenty of other times to ask again.\\nIf he keeps declining your suggestions, it's a good idea to ask him what he'd rather do. If you feel you can't ever make suggestions, you might need to rethink the viability of the relationship, as all relationships are about give and take.\\nTips\\nTry not to have any interruptions, after all, this is your date! Make it flawless, it's your night out with your man!\\nBe positive and upbeat! Guys sometimes get bored, so have some fun ideas ready.\\nBeing sweet and cute is not necessary, but it's a nice touch.\\nWarnings\\nDon't dress snazzy, it may attract unwanted attention, unless your boyfriend likes to make other guys jealous on purpose. It will also make him think you worked too hard on planning this. This doesn't mean don't try to look cute- just don't go overboard.\\nAvoid being too clingy. Every once in a while, your boyfriend needs time by himself or with his friends.[6]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It's your turn to decide what to do and where to go on the next date. Yet, if you feel a little worried that he might not like your suggestion, or you simply lack any ideas at all about where to suggest you both go, this can feel fairly traumatic. Still, have courage; it's important to show him that you have ideas and that you're willing to direct the relationship too. After all, he isn't in this for you to be a doormat and he'll be delighted that you are arranging things too.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Where would you like to go?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Before asking him, think about where you want to go.\", \"描述\": \"As part of this, consider how much it will cost, how far away it is, how long the activity will take and whether you have already done something similar before.\\nDo you want the date to be just the two of you or would also like friends to come along?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose an activity that both of you will enjoy.\", \"描述\": \"While making a compromise now and then to do something he likes a lot that you don't much care for is part of the relationship, if this is the first time for asking him on a date, choose something you will feel comfortable about too.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ways to ask your boyfriend on a date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider the method you'll feel most comfortable with.\", \"描述\": \"This will depend on your relationship and how you usually contact each other too. You can text him, call him, email him, talk to him on IM (instant messenger), write him a nice letter, or speak face to face.\\nYou might also like to contact him one way, then follow up with another way, just to confirm his affirmation to going on the date, and the time, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If you feel really worried about how he will respond, try face to face.\", \"描述\": \"It's a lot harder to say no or push aside someone's kind request when you're face to face. He'll see immediately how much effort this requires of you and be more willing to meet you all the way if you are together when you ask. Have courage––he cares about you after all!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking him\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Just relax.\", \"描述\": \"He is your boyfriend, after all. While he might say no, he is more likely to say yes, or to suggest you make another suggestion if he does say no. He isn't going to bite you or laugh at you; if he does, he's not boyfriend material.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask him what he is doing on the date you'd like to arrange the activity together.\", \"描述\": \"For example:\\n\\\"Are you doing anything this weekend? I have an idea for something we could do together.\\\"\\n\\\"Any chance you're free this coming Thursday night? There's something I'd like to suggest we do together.\\\"\\n\\\"Would you be free next week? I'd like to go somewhere together for a few days of the vacation if you are.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If he says he's free, go ahead and ask him on the date.\", \"描述\": \"Tell him what you'd like to do together, why you think it'd be fun and any other relevant details to help him reach his decision.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"If he says yes, that's a great idea, well done!\", \"描述\": \"Start planning the activity together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"What if he says no?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he says he is really busy, don't push it.\", \"描述\": \"He actually means it and being pestered about it will end up irritating him and could sour things for you both. Just say something like: \\\"Okay, maybe another time then\\\", or \\\"No problems. It'll keep until you're free.\\\" He'll appreciate the lack of pressure and the willingness to change your plans for him.\\nLeave off asking him again for at least a week. That way, you won't seem pushy or desperate.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If he says no because he doesn't like what you've suggested, be ready with an alternative.\", \"描述\": \"For example, if he says he has already seen a movie or doesn't like the genre you've suggested, have one or two different ones to offer instead. Or, switch from movies to skating/a sports game/dinner out, etc. Be ready with flexible options.\\nOther possibilities include going to the park, the beach, out of town, etc.\\nAnother option is to ask him what he'd rather do. However, it's a good idea to offer your ideas first, to show you've really thought about this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"If he says he needs to think about your suggestion, take it at face value.\", \"描述\": \"He does need to think about it. This does not mean he is not interested in you; it means he needs to think about the activity. Feel free to say something like: \\\"Sure, no worries. If you do want to, maybe you can let me know by tomorrow/Friday/the weekend, so that I can book tickets/reserve the seats/etc.\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don't force him.\", \"描述\": \"That's a good way of him dumping you. There are plenty of other times to ask again.\\nIf he keeps declining your suggestions, it's a good idea to ask him what he'd rather do. If you feel you can't ever make suggestions, you might need to rethink the viability of the relationship, as all relationships are about give and take.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try not to have any interruptions, after all, this is your date! Make it flawless, it's your night out with your man!\\n\", \"Be positive and upbeat! Guys sometimes get bored, so have some fun ideas ready.\\n\", \"Being sweet and cute is not necessary, but it's a nice touch.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't dress snazzy, it may attract unwanted attention, unless your boyfriend likes to make other guys jealous on purpose. It will also make him think you worked too hard on planning this. This doesn't mean don't try to look cute- just don't go overboard.\\n\", \"Avoid being too clingy. Every once in a while, your boyfriend needs time by himself or with his friends.[6]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,526 | How to Ask a Celebrity for an Autograph or Photo | 1. Assessing the Situation
1-1. Don’t approach a celebrity when they are with their family.
As a general rule of thumb, it is not the best idea to ask a celebrity for their autograph or a picture while they are with their family. Celebrities want to be able to spend quality time with their families. And, for security reasons, celebrities who are with their children generally do not want to be approached by the public. Therefore, your chances of getting an autograph or a picture are quite low if a celebrity is with their family.
1-2. Don’t interrupt a celebrity.
Similar to the family situation, if you see that a celebrity is on a date, at an important business meeting, or having dinner, they generally do not like to be interrupted.
If you have to, wait for them to finish what they are doing, whether it is eating or in a meeting, and then attempt to approach. Attempt to approach them only when they have finished signing their check and are getting up from their seat and putting on their coat.
1-3. Plan what you will say.
Plan ahead by knowing what you will say to the celebrity. Phrases that are appropriate are, “May I have your autograph?” or “I really like your work, may I have an autograph or a picture?”
Don’t say things like, “I really hate to do this, but may I take a picture with you?” or “I really didn’t want to bother you, but my friend wanted me to ask…” If you really “hated” it, then you wouldn’t be asking. It just does not seem sincere.
1-4. Have your materials ready.
No celebrity likes to be interrupted by a fan that is fumbling with his or her autograph paper and pen, or with their camera in order to get a picture. If you are going to ask a celebrity for their autograph or picture, commit to it by having your materials prepared beforehand.
Have your pen and paper sitting in your back pocket so you can pull it out swiftly if they agree to an autograph. Or, have your camera ready and on the correct settings so you can take a quick snap.
2. Approaching the Celebrity
2-1. Let children up front ask first.
The chances are that you are not the only person who has spotted the celebrity from afar. Consequently, there might be other people, including children, asking for an autograph or a picture as well. Let the children go first. Don’t push ahead of them or shove them to the side so you can get your signature. The celebrity might find this offensive, and might not sign your paper or take a picture with you.
2-2. Be polite.
When asking for an autograph or a picture, always be polite. Say “please” when asking, and say “thank you” when they have signed or after the picture has been taken. Remember that celebrities appreciate manners, too.
Don't scream at them. You will probably scare them off if you do this.
2-3. Don’t ask them to sign multiple things.
Be aware that there are people out there who make money from selling pictures and signatures online. Besides your own memorabilia, if you are trying to get another autograph for a friend or a family member, then that is fine. But trying to get five different things signed seems greedy and suspicious.
Try not to ask them to sign odd things, like body parts, clothing, toilet seats, and other unconventional things. The celebrity might find it offensive and you will not get an autograph.
2-4. Be time conscious.
If a celebrity agrees to take a picture with you, don’t turn it into a photo shoot. Be aware that celebrities have places to be, and that there are other people waiting to get an autograph or a picture, too.
2-5. Respect their personal space.
Don’t try to get too close or touch the celebrity when asking for an autograph or photo. For example, some celebrities are sensitive about their hair or their clothes. If you respect their personal space, and follow the celebrity’s lead on how to act around them, they will be more willing to acquiesce to your request.
Tips
Don’t interrupt celebrities if they look busy or preoccupied.
Act normal, and be polite and courteous.
Do not overreact if the celebrity says no. It might not be a good time.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Assessing the Situation\\n1-1. Don’t approach a celebrity when they are with their family.\\nAs a general rule of thumb, it is not the best idea to ask a celebrity for their autograph or a picture while they are with their family. Celebrities want to be able to spend quality time with their families. And, for security reasons, celebrities who are with their children generally do not want to be approached by the public. Therefore, your chances of getting an autograph or a picture are quite low if a celebrity is with their family.\\n1-2. Don’t interrupt a celebrity.\\nSimilar to the family situation, if you see that a celebrity is on a date, at an important business meeting, or having dinner, they generally do not like to be interrupted.\\nIf you have to, wait for them to finish what they are doing, whether it is eating or in a meeting, and then attempt to approach. Attempt to approach them only when they have finished signing their check and are getting up from their seat and putting on their coat.\\n1-3. Plan what you will say.\\nPlan ahead by knowing what you will say to the celebrity. Phrases that are appropriate are, “May I have your autograph?” or “I really like your work, may I have an autograph or a picture?”\\nDon’t say things like, “I really hate to do this, but may I take a picture with you?” or “I really didn’t want to bother you, but my friend wanted me to ask…” If you really “hated” it, then you wouldn’t be asking. It just does not seem sincere.\\n1-4. Have your materials ready.\\nNo celebrity likes to be interrupted by a fan that is fumbling with his or her autograph paper and pen, or with their camera in order to get a picture. If you are going to ask a celebrity for their autograph or picture, commit to it by having your materials prepared beforehand.\\nHave your pen and paper sitting in your back pocket so you can pull it out swiftly if they agree to an autograph. Or, have your camera ready and on the correct settings so you can take a quick snap.\\n2. Approaching the Celebrity\\n2-1. Let children up front ask first.\\nThe chances are that you are not the only person who has spotted the celebrity from afar. Consequently, there might be other people, including children, asking for an autograph or a picture as well. Let the children go first. Don’t push ahead of them or shove them to the side so you can get your signature. The celebrity might find this offensive, and might not sign your paper or take a picture with you.\\n2-2. Be polite.\\nWhen asking for an autograph or a picture, always be polite. Say “please” when asking, and say “thank you” when they have signed or after the picture has been taken. Remember that celebrities appreciate manners, too.\\nDon't scream at them. You will probably scare them off if you do this.\\n2-3. Don’t ask them to sign multiple things.\\nBe aware that there are people out there who make money from selling pictures and signatures online. Besides your own memorabilia, if you are trying to get another autograph for a friend or a family member, then that is fine. But trying to get five different things signed seems greedy and suspicious.\\nTry not to ask them to sign odd things, like body parts, clothing, toilet seats, and other unconventional things. The celebrity might find it offensive and you will not get an autograph.\\n2-4. Be time conscious.\\nIf a celebrity agrees to take a picture with you, don’t turn it into a photo shoot. Be aware that celebrities have places to be, and that there are other people waiting to get an autograph or a picture, too.\\n2-5. Respect their personal space.\\nDon’t try to get too close or touch the celebrity when asking for an autograph or photo. For example, some celebrities are sensitive about their hair or their clothes. If you respect their personal space, and follow the celebrity’s lead on how to act around them, they will be more willing to acquiesce to your request.\\nTips\\nDon’t interrupt celebrities if they look busy or preoccupied.\\nAct normal, and be polite and courteous.\\nDo not overreact if the celebrity says no. It might not be a good time.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Depending on where you live, a celebrity spotting can be a common occurrence. However, for the majority of us, spotting a celebrity might prompt us to act rashly, awkward, or shy. And, if it is a celebrity you are particularly fond of, you might be compelled to ask them for their autograph or take a picture with them. However, before you wander over to the celebrity, make sure they are alone, or at the very least, not busy with family or business matters. Once you approach the celebrity, always remember to be polite, direct, and conscientious of their personal space and time. If you can remember to do these things, then your dreams of having your favorite celebrity’s autograph or picture taken just might come true.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assessing the Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t approach a celebrity when they are with their family.\", \"描述\": \"As a general rule of thumb, it is not the best idea to ask a celebrity for their autograph or a picture while they are with their family. Celebrities want to be able to spend quality time with their families. And, for security reasons, celebrities who are with their children generally do not want to be approached by the public. Therefore, your chances of getting an autograph or a picture are quite low if a celebrity is with their family.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t interrupt a celebrity.\", \"描述\": \"Similar to the family situation, if you see that a celebrity is on a date, at an important business meeting, or having dinner, they generally do not like to be interrupted.\\nIf you have to, wait for them to finish what they are doing, whether it is eating or in a meeting, and then attempt to approach. Attempt to approach them only when they have finished signing their check and are getting up from their seat and putting on their coat.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Plan what you will say.\", \"描述\": \"Plan ahead by knowing what you will say to the celebrity. Phrases that are appropriate are, “May I have your autograph?” or “I really like your work, may I have an autograph or a picture?”\\nDon’t say things like, “I really hate to do this, but may I take a picture with you?” or “I really didn’t want to bother you, but my friend wanted me to ask…” If you really “hated” it, then you wouldn’t be asking. It just does not seem sincere.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have your materials ready.\", \"描述\": \"No celebrity likes to be interrupted by a fan that is fumbling with his or her autograph paper and pen, or with their camera in order to get a picture. If you are going to ask a celebrity for their autograph or picture, commit to it by having your materials prepared beforehand.\\nHave your pen and paper sitting in your back pocket so you can pull it out swiftly if they agree to an autograph. Or, have your camera ready and on the correct settings so you can take a quick snap.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approaching the Celebrity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let children up front ask first.\", \"描述\": \"The chances are that you are not the only person who has spotted the celebrity from afar. Consequently, there might be other people, including children, asking for an autograph or a picture as well. Let the children go first. Don’t push ahead of them or shove them to the side so you can get your signature. The celebrity might find this offensive, and might not sign your paper or take a picture with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"When asking for an autograph or a picture, always be polite. Say “please” when asking, and say “thank you” when they have signed or after the picture has been taken. Remember that celebrities appreciate manners, too.\\nDon't scream at them. You will probably scare them off if you do this.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t ask them to sign multiple things.\", \"描述\": \"Be aware that there are people out there who make money from selling pictures and signatures online. Besides your own memorabilia, if you are trying to get another autograph for a friend or a family member, then that is fine. But trying to get five different things signed seems greedy and suspicious.\\nTry not to ask them to sign odd things, like body parts, clothing, toilet seats, and other unconventional things. The celebrity might find it offensive and you will not get an autograph.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be time conscious.\", \"描述\": \"If a celebrity agrees to take a picture with you, don’t turn it into a photo shoot. Be aware that celebrities have places to be, and that there are other people waiting to get an autograph or a picture, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respect their personal space.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to get too close or touch the celebrity when asking for an autograph or photo. For example, some celebrities are sensitive about their hair or their clothes. If you respect their personal space, and follow the celebrity’s lead on how to act around them, they will be more willing to acquiesce to your request.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t interrupt celebrities if they look busy or preoccupied.\\n\", \"Act normal, and be polite and courteous.\\n\", \"Do not overreact if the celebrity says no. It might not be a good time.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,527 | How to Ask a Client for a Google Review | 1. Verify your business through Google My Business.
Make it easier to find your business on Google searches.
On your computer, search for Google My Business and choose the option to sign in. Then, sign in to your Google account or create one if you haven’t already. After that, type in the name of your business or your address and click “Next.” Fill out the form with information about your business, including your address, the goods you offer, your phone number, and your website. Then, choose the option to verify.
Verifying your business also allows you to add it to Google Maps and will help it show up in more Google searches.
Your business will look more professional to your clients if it’s verified.
2. Create a short name and URL for your business.
Your clients will be able to find your business online.
Once your business is verified, you can create a short name for your profile, which makes it much easier for folks to find you. Sign in to your account and click on your Google My Business page to open it up. Select the option to create a short name. Enter your name, which can be up to 32 characters, then click “Apply.”
So for instance, if your business name is Jane’s Bath and Body Works, you could create a short name such as “Jane.” Then, your clients can search for “g.page/Jane” for a shortcut to your business.
You can also change your short name at any time.
3. Generate a Google review link from your business page.
Make it super easy for people to leave a review.
Sign in to your Google account, click on your Google My Business page for your business, then click on “Home” in the left menu. Choose the option to “Get more reviews.” If you’re on a computer, you can copy the URL to share with your clients. If you’re on a mobile device, you can tap on the option to share your URL and you can copy the link to send to clients.
Your clients can simply click on the link to be brought to your review page.
4. Reply to reviews that people leave for your business.
Build your client’s trust so they’ll be more likely to leave a review.
Check the reviews that people leave about your business. Reply to positive ones and thank them for their business. But don’t ignore the negative ones. Use them as an opportunity to show people that you care about customer satisfaction by responding with ways you can make it up to them.
For instance, if someone leaves a negative review that says something like, “The service was awful! Won’t be going back!” You could respond with something like, “I’m so sorry to hear your experience wasn’t satisfactory. We’d be happy to offer a discount the next time you visit us!”
People may be more likely to leave reviews if they see that you take the time to check and respond to them.
5. Wait until you complete a job to ask for a review.
Let the client see your work first.
One easy way to get Google reviews for your business is to simply ask your clients for one directly. However, it’s important that you wait until they’ve received your product or you’ve finished the job they hired you for. That way, they can experience and appreciate your business and will be more inclined to leave a review for you.
For instance, you can capitalize on a satisfied customer by immediately asking them for a review. If they say something like, “Wow! I love your work!” You can directly ask something like, “Great! Would you mind leaving a Google review about your experience? It would really help my business.”
6. Send an email to happy customers.
Personalize the email to make them feel more valued.
Include the client’s name and specific details about their order, such as the goods or services they paid for. Ask them if they wouldn’t mind leaving a review for your business on Google. If they’re satisfied with their experience, they may be happy to do so.
Pro tip: include a Google review link in the email so all they have to do is click the link and leave a review.
Small touches like personal details about your client can go a long way. For instance, if they recently had a new baby or they’re about to go on vacation, mention it in your email!
7. Call customers and ask them at the end of the conversation.
Show them you care by asking them personally.
If you’re trying to gather more reviews, try reaching out to satisfied clients directly by giving them a phone call. Chat with them for a bit about their life and if they’re happy with the goods or services they received from you. Before you get off the call, ask them if they wouldn’t mind leaving a Google review for your business.
If they don’t know how to leave a review, tell them they can look you up on Google or send them a Google review link by text or email.
8. Mention a review whenever you send a bill.
If your customers are happy with your service, they may be happy to leave a review for you.
If you have a regular billing cycle with your clients, you can use that regular interaction as an opportunity to get a review. When you send your bill, try asking them to leave a review for your business if they’re satisfied with your service.
Include a Google review link to make it even easier for them to leave a review.
9. Avoid offering incentives in exchange for reviews.
The best reviews are honest and unbiased.
While it may seem like a good idea to offer something like a 10% discount or a free item in exchange for a Google review, these reviews can come off as disingenuous and phony. Instead, trust your satisfied clients to leave their honest opinion, which will feel more real and powerful to people checking your reviews.
People can spot phoniness in a review, and it could negatively affect your business.
10. Help clients make a Google account if they don’t have one.
Walk them through the process so they can leave you a review.
In order to leave a review, your clients need to have a Google account. If they don’t have one, take some time to show them how to do it. Tell them to visit the Google homepage and choose the option to create a new account. Once they’re all set up, they can leave a review for your business.
11. Follow up with clients within 2 weeks.
Give them a gentle nudge to remind them about a review.
Life can get busy and it’s common for folks to forget to follow through with leaving a review. Don’t get upset about it. Instead, just try reaching out by phone, email, or the next time you see them in person. Ask them if they’ve had a chance to leave a review yet and tell them you’d be really appreciative if they could leave one for your business if they have an extra minute.
Try not to be overly pushy or pressure them too much. You could cause them to ignore your request—or worse, leave a negative review.
Tips
Try not to wait to ask for a review. If you have a satisfied client, make your request while it’s still fresh on their mind.
Warnings
Avoid attacking negative reviews that people leave. It could affect the way potential clients view you and your business.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Verify your business through Google My Business.\\nMake it easier to find your business on Google searches.\\nOn your computer, search for Google My Business and choose the option to sign in. Then, sign in to your Google account or create one if you haven’t already. After that, type in the name of your business or your address and click “Next.” Fill out the form with information about your business, including your address, the goods you offer, your phone number, and your website. Then, choose the option to verify.\\nVerifying your business also allows you to add it to Google Maps and will help it show up in more Google searches.\\nYour business will look more professional to your clients if it’s verified.\\n2. Create a short name and URL for your business.\\nYour clients will be able to find your business online.\\nOnce your business is verified, you can create a short name for your profile, which makes it much easier for folks to find you. Sign in to your account and click on your Google My Business page to open it up. Select the option to create a short name. Enter your name, which can be up to 32 characters, then click “Apply.”\\nSo for instance, if your business name is Jane’s Bath and Body Works, you could create a short name such as “Jane.” Then, your clients can search for “g.page/Jane” for a shortcut to your business.\\nYou can also change your short name at any time.\\n3. Generate a Google review link from your business page.\\nMake it super easy for people to leave a review.\\nSign in to your Google account, click on your Google My Business page for your business, then click on “Home” in the left menu. Choose the option to “Get more reviews.” If you’re on a computer, you can copy the URL to share with your clients. If you’re on a mobile device, you can tap on the option to share your URL and you can copy the link to send to clients.\\nYour clients can simply click on the link to be brought to your review page.\\n4. Reply to reviews that people leave for your business.\\nBuild your client’s trust so they’ll be more likely to leave a review.\\nCheck the reviews that people leave about your business. Reply to positive ones and thank them for their business. But don’t ignore the negative ones. Use them as an opportunity to show people that you care about customer satisfaction by responding with ways you can make it up to them.\\nFor instance, if someone leaves a negative review that says something like, “The service was awful! Won’t be going back!” You could respond with something like, “I’m so sorry to hear your experience wasn’t satisfactory. We’d be happy to offer a discount the next time you visit us!”\\nPeople may be more likely to leave reviews if they see that you take the time to check and respond to them.\\n5. Wait until you complete a job to ask for a review.\\nLet the client see your work first.\\nOne easy way to get Google reviews for your business is to simply ask your clients for one directly. However, it’s important that you wait until they’ve received your product or you’ve finished the job they hired you for. That way, they can experience and appreciate your business and will be more inclined to leave a review for you.\\nFor instance, you can capitalize on a satisfied customer by immediately asking them for a review. If they say something like, “Wow! I love your work!” You can directly ask something like, “Great! Would you mind leaving a Google review about your experience? It would really help my business.”\\n6. Send an email to happy customers.\\nPersonalize the email to make them feel more valued.\\nInclude the client’s name and specific details about their order, such as the goods or services they paid for. Ask them if they wouldn’t mind leaving a review for your business on Google. If they’re satisfied with their experience, they may be happy to do so.\\nPro tip: include a Google review link in the email so all they have to do is click the link and leave a review.\\nSmall touches like personal details about your client can go a long way. For instance, if they recently had a new baby or they’re about to go on vacation, mention it in your email!\\n7. Call customers and ask them at the end of the conversation.\\nShow them you care by asking them personally.\\nIf you’re trying to gather more reviews, try reaching out to satisfied clients directly by giving them a phone call. Chat with them for a bit about their life and if they’re happy with the goods or services they received from you. Before you get off the call, ask them if they wouldn’t mind leaving a Google review for your business.\\nIf they don’t know how to leave a review, tell them they can look you up on Google or send them a Google review link by text or email.\\n8. Mention a review whenever you send a bill.\\nIf your customers are happy with your service, they may be happy to leave a review for you.\\nIf you have a regular billing cycle with your clients, you can use that regular interaction as an opportunity to get a review. When you send your bill, try asking them to leave a review for your business if they’re satisfied with your service.\\nInclude a Google review link to make it even easier for them to leave a review.\\n9. Avoid offering incentives in exchange for reviews.\\nThe best reviews are honest and unbiased.\\nWhile it may seem like a good idea to offer something like a 10% discount or a free item in exchange for a Google review, these reviews can come off as disingenuous and phony. Instead, trust your satisfied clients to leave their honest opinion, which will feel more real and powerful to people checking your reviews.\\nPeople can spot phoniness in a review, and it could negatively affect your business.\\n10. Help clients make a Google account if they don’t have one.\\nWalk them through the process so they can leave you a review.\\nIn order to leave a review, your clients need to have a Google account. If they don’t have one, take some time to show them how to do it. Tell them to visit the Google homepage and choose the option to create a new account. Once they’re all set up, they can leave a review for your business.\\n11. Follow up with clients within 2 weeks.\\nGive them a gentle nudge to remind them about a review.\\nLife can get busy and it’s common for folks to forget to follow through with leaving a review. Don’t get upset about it. Instead, just try reaching out by phone, email, or the next time you see them in person. Ask them if they’ve had a chance to leave a review yet and tell them you’d be really appreciative if they could leave one for your business if they have an extra minute.\\nTry not to be overly pushy or pressure them too much. You could cause them to ignore your request—or worse, leave a negative review.\\nTips\\nTry not to wait to ask for a review. If you have a satisfied client, make your request while it’s still fresh on their mind.\\nWarnings\\nAvoid attacking negative reviews that people leave. It could affect the way potential clients view you and your business.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Ah, Google. For many businesses, Google can be an invaluable tool that helps people find their business and buy their goods and services. Good reviews can make your business look even more professional and attractive to potential clients, and the more you have, the better. It’s also not super hard to ask your clients to leave reviews for you. Reach out to your satisfied clients and make the process as easy as possible so you can build an impressive collection of great reviews that can help you attract new clients.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Verify your business through Google My Business.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it easier to find your business on Google searches.\", \"描述\": \"On your computer, search for Google My Business and choose the option to sign in. Then, sign in to your Google account or create one if you haven’t already. After that, type in the name of your business or your address and click “Next.” Fill out the form with information about your business, including your address, the goods you offer, your phone number, and your website. Then, choose the option to verify.\\nVerifying your business also allows you to add it to Google Maps and will help it show up in more Google searches.\\nYour business will look more professional to your clients if it’s verified.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Create a short name and URL for your business.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Your clients will be able to find your business online.\", \"描述\": \"Once your business is verified, you can create a short name for your profile, which makes it much easier for folks to find you. Sign in to your account and click on your Google My Business page to open it up. Select the option to create a short name. Enter your name, which can be up to 32 characters, then click “Apply.”\\nSo for instance, if your business name is Jane’s Bath and Body Works, you could create a short name such as “Jane.” Then, your clients can search for “g.page/Jane” for a shortcut to your business.\\nYou can also change your short name at any time.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Generate a Google review link from your business page.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it super easy for people to leave a review.\", \"描述\": \"Sign in to your Google account, click on your Google My Business page for your business, then click on “Home” in the left menu. Choose the option to “Get more reviews.” If you’re on a computer, you can copy the URL to share with your clients. If you’re on a mobile device, you can tap on the option to share your URL and you can copy the link to send to clients.\\nYour clients can simply click on the link to be brought to your review page.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reply to reviews that people leave for your business.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build your client’s trust so they’ll be more likely to leave a review.\", \"描述\": \"Check the reviews that people leave about your business. Reply to positive ones and thank them for their business. But don’t ignore the negative ones. Use them as an opportunity to show people that you care about customer satisfaction by responding with ways you can make it up to them.\\nFor instance, if someone leaves a negative review that says something like, “The service was awful! Won’t be going back!” You could respond with something like, “I’m so sorry to hear your experience wasn’t satisfactory. We’d be happy to offer a discount the next time you visit us!”\\nPeople may be more likely to leave reviews if they see that you take the time to check and respond to them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wait until you complete a job to ask for a review.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let the client see your work first.\", \"描述\": \"One easy way to get Google reviews for your business is to simply ask your clients for one directly. However, it’s important that you wait until they’ve received your product or you’ve finished the job they hired you for. That way, they can experience and appreciate your business and will be more inclined to leave a review for you.\\nFor instance, you can capitalize on a satisfied customer by immediately asking them for a review. If they say something like, “Wow! I love your work!” You can directly ask something like, “Great! Would you mind leaving a Google review about your experience? It would really help my business.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Send an email to happy customers.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Personalize the email to make them feel more valued.\", \"描述\": \"Include the client’s name and specific details about their order, such as the goods or services they paid for. Ask them if they wouldn’t mind leaving a review for your business on Google. If they’re satisfied with their experience, they may be happy to do so.\\nPro tip: include a Google review link in the email so all they have to do is click the link and leave a review.\\nSmall touches like personal details about your client can go a long way. For instance, if they recently had a new baby or they’re about to go on vacation, mention it in your email!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Call customers and ask them at the end of the conversation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show them you care by asking them personally.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re trying to gather more reviews, try reaching out to satisfied clients directly by giving them a phone call. Chat with them for a bit about their life and if they’re happy with the goods or services they received from you. Before you get off the call, ask them if they wouldn’t mind leaving a Google review for your business.\\nIf they don’t know how to leave a review, tell them they can look you up on Google or send them a Google review link by text or email.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Mention a review whenever you send a bill.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your customers are happy with your service, they may be happy to leave a review for you.\", \"描述\": \"If you have a regular billing cycle with your clients, you can use that regular interaction as an opportunity to get a review. When you send your bill, try asking them to leave a review for your business if they’re satisfied with your service.\\nInclude a Google review link to make it even easier for them to leave a review.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Avoid offering incentives in exchange for reviews.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The best reviews are honest and unbiased.\", \"描述\": \"While it may seem like a good idea to offer something like a 10% discount or a free item in exchange for a Google review, these reviews can come off as disingenuous and phony. Instead, trust your satisfied clients to leave their honest opinion, which will feel more real and powerful to people checking your reviews.\\nPeople can spot phoniness in a review, and it could negatively affect your business.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Help clients make a Google account if they don’t have one.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Walk them through the process so they can leave you a review.\", \"描述\": \"In order to leave a review, your clients need to have a Google account. If they don’t have one, take some time to show them how to do it. Tell them to visit the Google homepage and choose the option to create a new account. Once they’re all set up, they can leave a review for your business.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Follow up with clients within 2 weeks.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give them a gentle nudge to remind them about a review.\", \"描述\": \"Life can get busy and it’s common for folks to forget to follow through with leaving a review. Don’t get upset about it. Instead, just try reaching out by phone, email, or the next time you see them in person. Ask them if they’ve had a chance to leave a review yet and tell them you’d be really appreciative if they could leave one for your business if they have an extra minute.\\nTry not to be overly pushy or pressure them too much. You could cause them to ignore your request—or worse, leave a negative review.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try not to wait to ask for a review. If you have a satisfied client, make your request while it’s still fresh on their mind.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid attacking negative reviews that people leave. It could affect the way potential clients view you and your business.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,528 | How to Ask a Co Worker for a One Night Stand | 1. Knowing the Risks Beforehand
1-1. Familiarize yourself with your company’s fraternization policies.
Many companies have a zero-tolerance policy for interoffice romance. Make a point to familiarize yourself with written policies on fraternization. Your Human Resources department has these policies on file.
1-2. Weigh the pros and cons.
Consider your future goals and be clear to yourself about what your job means to you. If you are uncomfortable with the possibility that this rendezvous could end up negatively affecting your career, then it probably is not a good idea to pursue a one night stand with a coworker.
Pros may include: having a one night stand with a person you're familiar with because you work together, having at least one thing in common (work) with the partner for the one night stand, and the exciting, “forbidden” nature of the affair.
Some cons could be: one of you could end up being fired, things could become awkward at work between the two of you, work place gossip may spread, and your reputation might be tarnished.
1-3. Don’t confuse workplace solidarity with desire or love.
Do not pursue the affair in order to escape your day-to-day work struggles. Today, many people are unsatisfied with their jobs, but this does not mean you should sleep with your co-worker who happens to sympathize with you; do not confuse sympathy with love or desire.
Sympathy is an understanding or common feeling between people, generally in a negative context. For example, you can sympathize with someone who you do not even know because you share a common negative experience.
Love is an intense feeling of affection or desire, where you want to get to know a person on a more intimate level.
1-4. Have an exit strategy.
If you do decide to pursue the affair, know your game plan. Consider the worst case scenario, and have an exit strategy if things go south. Think about whether you would be willing to quit your job, and have a possible back-up in case things end up badly. Before the one-night stand, you can prepare your exit strategy by doing the following:
Make sure your resume, website, or work portfolio is up to date.
Contact colleagues and people you know from previous jobs for references and recommendations.
Look into the company’s other departments or job banks online to see if there are job openings you can apply to, or register with a temp agency.
2. Getting to Know Your Coworker
2-1. Ensure your coworker is interested.
Don’t just ask any coworker. Ensure they are interested by reading their body language. If they are giving you signals that they may be interested in you, then proceed.
These signals can be direct, like maintaining eye contact, smiling, or touching you while they speak. Or, they can be indirect, like touching their hair, neck, or face while talking to you.
If they adopt closed body language, for example, turning away from you, avoiding eye contact, or any contact at all, then chances are they are not interested.
If you are truly unsure if your coworker is interested, do not fret. You can try more direct contact like asking for their phone number to see how they react. Or, you could try telling them a joke to see if they laugh, and perhaps a conversation could start from there.
2-2. Be discreet.
Make your advances confidential. This will gain your coworker’s trust and increase your rate of success.
Do not make any big moves at the office, like being overly flirty, or suggesting you do something during work hours or at the office. This will likely scare them away.
2-3. Move slowly.
Before you attempt to ask them, get to know them first. Try to find things you have in common with your coworker besides work.
Ask them about their hobbies or what they like to do on the weekend.
Ask them what their favorite foods are, or ask them about the different places they have traveled to or would like to travel to.
3. Meeting with Your Coworker
3-1. Bring up the topic.
Once you have gauged the interest of your coworker and you have developed a basic level of camaraderie, you can attempt to bring up the topic of the one-night stand.
Your opening line could go something like this: “Hey, I really like talking with you. Would you like to take this conversation back to my place?”
You can be more straightforward and ask, “Would you be interested in sleeping/having sex with me?”
3-2. Be honest with your coworker.
Be clear about what you want out of the affair. If it is simply a one-night stand that you are interested in, or if you are willing to consider the possibility of something more, be upfront about it. Let the person know your feelings and how you see the relationship developing in the future.
An example of how you can approach this is by saying, “Before we go through with this, I would like to be clear about my feelings and expectations.”
This is also the time where you should discuss with your coworker privacy issues such disclosing details with other coworkers and posting things on Facebook about the affair.
3-3. Arrange a time and place to meet.
Once you have gotten to know your coworker and you are sure they are interested, arrange to meet them somewhere after work or on the weekend. To ensure privacy and your chances of success, meet at a bar or restaurant that you know your other coworkers do not frequent.
4. Dealing with the Aftermath
4-1. Stay professional.
Maintain your regular office routines and be cautious about how you behave around other coworkers.
While at work, do not go out of your way to be overly attentive or nice to your “special” coworker. Do not openly flirt with your coworker as this can cause suspicion among other coworkers.
Do not email or instant message your coworker at work about the encounter or personal matters. Limit your conversations to strictly business matters.
4-2. Do not kiss and tell.
Agree to keep things secret by not telling other coworkers about the affair. If you have to tell someone about the affair, make sure it is a friend who has no connection to your work place.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make here is by posting about the affair on Facebook. Remember, once something is on Facebook, it is hard to take it back.
4-3. Manage the situation.
If caught while trying to keep things secret, be prepared to deal with backlash. Have a risk management strategy by thinking ahead about how to mitigate, minimize, and/or manage the situation.
Log more hours at the office.
Take on new responsibilities and projects.
Be proactive about promoting your accomplishments.
4-4. Be upfront yet professional if your boss finds out.
If your boss confronts you about the situation, do not lie about it. Own up to it and offer valid solutions. If it was a one-time thing, let your boss know it is over. If it has developed into something more serious, don’t offer to end the affair but do let your boss know that you are sorry that they did not hear it from you first.
Tips
Familiarize yourself with your company’s fraternization policies.
Earn your coworker’s trust and get to know them.
Be honest with yourself and your coworker.
Warnings
Think twice about engaging in a one-night stand with a married coworker.
Be extra careful about superior-subordinate affairs.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:53",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Knowing the Risks Beforehand\\n1-1. Familiarize yourself with your company’s fraternization policies.\\nMany companies have a zero-tolerance policy for interoffice romance. Make a point to familiarize yourself with written policies on fraternization. Your Human Resources department has these policies on file.\\n1-2. Weigh the pros and cons.\\nConsider your future goals and be clear to yourself about what your job means to you. If you are uncomfortable with the possibility that this rendezvous could end up negatively affecting your career, then it probably is not a good idea to pursue a one night stand with a coworker. \\nPros may include: having a one night stand with a person you're familiar with because you work together, having at least one thing in common (work) with the partner for the one night stand, and the exciting, “forbidden” nature of the affair.\\nSome cons could be: one of you could end up being fired, things could become awkward at work between the two of you, work place gossip may spread, and your reputation might be tarnished.\\n1-3. Don’t confuse workplace solidarity with desire or love.\\nDo not pursue the affair in order to escape your day-to-day work struggles. Today, many people are unsatisfied with their jobs, but this does not mean you should sleep with your co-worker who happens to sympathize with you; do not confuse sympathy with love or desire. \\nSympathy is an understanding or common feeling between people, generally in a negative context. For example, you can sympathize with someone who you do not even know because you share a common negative experience.\\nLove is an intense feeling of affection or desire, where you want to get to know a person on a more intimate level.\\n1-4. Have an exit strategy.\\nIf you do decide to pursue the affair, know your game plan. Consider the worst case scenario, and have an exit strategy if things go south. Think about whether you would be willing to quit your job, and have a possible back-up in case things end up badly. Before the one-night stand, you can prepare your exit strategy by doing the following:\\nMake sure your resume, website, or work portfolio is up to date.\\nContact colleagues and people you know from previous jobs for references and recommendations.\\nLook into the company’s other departments or job banks online to see if there are job openings you can apply to, or register with a temp agency.\\n2. Getting to Know Your Coworker\\n2-1. Ensure your coworker is interested.\\nDon’t just ask any coworker. Ensure they are interested by reading their body language. If they are giving you signals that they may be interested in you, then proceed.\\nThese signals can be direct, like maintaining eye contact, smiling, or touching you while they speak. Or, they can be indirect, like touching their hair, neck, or face while talking to you.\\nIf they adopt closed body language, for example, turning away from you, avoiding eye contact, or any contact at all, then chances are they are not interested.\\nIf you are truly unsure if your coworker is interested, do not fret. You can try more direct contact like asking for their phone number to see how they react. Or, you could try telling them a joke to see if they laugh, and perhaps a conversation could start from there.\\n2-2. Be discreet.\\nMake your advances confidential. This will gain your coworker’s trust and increase your rate of success.\\nDo not make any big moves at the office, like being overly flirty, or suggesting you do something during work hours or at the office. This will likely scare them away.\\n2-3. Move slowly.\\nBefore you attempt to ask them, get to know them first. Try to find things you have in common with your coworker besides work. \\nAsk them about their hobbies or what they like to do on the weekend.\\nAsk them what their favorite foods are, or ask them about the different places they have traveled to or would like to travel to.\\n3. Meeting with Your Coworker\\n3-1. Bring up the topic.\\nOnce you have gauged the interest of your coworker and you have developed a basic level of camaraderie, you can attempt to bring up the topic of the one-night stand.\\nYour opening line could go something like this: “Hey, I really like talking with you. Would you like to take this conversation back to my place?”\\nYou can be more straightforward and ask, “Would you be interested in sleeping/having sex with me?”\\n3-2. Be honest with your coworker.\\nBe clear about what you want out of the affair. If it is simply a one-night stand that you are interested in, or if you are willing to consider the possibility of something more, be upfront about it. Let the person know your feelings and how you see the relationship developing in the future. \\nAn example of how you can approach this is by saying, “Before we go through with this, I would like to be clear about my feelings and expectations.”\\nThis is also the time where you should discuss with your coworker privacy issues such disclosing details with other coworkers and posting things on Facebook about the affair.\\n3-3. Arrange a time and place to meet.\\nOnce you have gotten to know your coworker and you are sure they are interested, arrange to meet them somewhere after work or on the weekend. To ensure privacy and your chances of success, meet at a bar or restaurant that you know your other coworkers do not frequent.\\n4. Dealing with the Aftermath\\n4-1. Stay professional.\\nMaintain your regular office routines and be cautious about how you behave around other coworkers. \\nWhile at work, do not go out of your way to be overly attentive or nice to your “special” coworker. Do not openly flirt with your coworker as this can cause suspicion among other coworkers.\\nDo not email or instant message your coworker at work about the encounter or personal matters. Limit your conversations to strictly business matters.\\n4-2. Do not kiss and tell.\\nAgree to keep things secret by not telling other coworkers about the affair. If you have to tell someone about the affair, make sure it is a friend who has no connection to your work place.\\nOne of the biggest mistakes you can make here is by posting about the affair on Facebook. Remember, once something is on Facebook, it is hard to take it back.\\n4-3. Manage the situation.\\nIf caught while trying to keep things secret, be prepared to deal with backlash. Have a risk management strategy by thinking ahead about how to mitigate, minimize, and/or manage the situation.\\nLog more hours at the office.\\nTake on new responsibilities and projects.\\nBe proactive about promoting your accomplishments.\\n4-4. Be upfront yet professional if your boss finds out.\\nIf your boss confronts you about the situation, do not lie about it. Own up to it and offer valid solutions. If it was a one-time thing, let your boss know it is over. If it has developed into something more serious, don’t offer to end the affair but do let your boss know that you are sorry that they did not hear it from you first.\\nTips\\nFamiliarize yourself with your company’s fraternization policies.\\nEarn your coworker’s trust and get to know them.\\nBe honest with yourself and your coworker.\\nWarnings\\nThink twice about engaging in a one-night stand with a married coworker.\\nBe extra careful about superior-subordinate affairs.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Getting someone to join you for a one-night stand is never easy and involves risks, especially if it is your coworker. You and you coworker associate on a day-to-day basis, so getting to know them on a more intimate level seems natural. However, be aware of the potential ramifications for you and your work life.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Knowing the Risks Beforehand\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Familiarize yourself with your company’s fraternization policies.\", \"描述\": \"Many companies have a zero-tolerance policy for interoffice romance. Make a point to familiarize yourself with written policies on fraternization. Your Human Resources department has these policies on file.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Weigh the pros and cons.\", \"描述\": \"Consider your future goals and be clear to yourself about what your job means to you. If you are uncomfortable with the possibility that this rendezvous could end up negatively affecting your career, then it probably is not a good idea to pursue a one night stand with a coworker. \\nPros may include: having a one night stand with a person you're familiar with because you work together, having at least one thing in common (work) with the partner for the one night stand, and the exciting, “forbidden” nature of the affair.\\nSome cons could be: one of you could end up being fired, things could become awkward at work between the two of you, work place gossip may spread, and your reputation might be tarnished.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t confuse workplace solidarity with desire or love.\", \"描述\": \"Do not pursue the affair in order to escape your day-to-day work struggles. Today, many people are unsatisfied with their jobs, but this does not mean you should sleep with your co-worker who happens to sympathize with you; do not confuse sympathy with love or desire. \\nSympathy is an understanding or common feeling between people, generally in a negative context. For example, you can sympathize with someone who you do not even know because you share a common negative experience.\\nLove is an intense feeling of affection or desire, where you want to get to know a person on a more intimate level.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have an exit strategy.\", \"描述\": \"If you do decide to pursue the affair, know your game plan. Consider the worst case scenario, and have an exit strategy if things go south. Think about whether you would be willing to quit your job, and have a possible back-up in case things end up badly. Before the one-night stand, you can prepare your exit strategy by doing the following:\\nMake sure your resume, website, or work portfolio is up to date.\\nContact colleagues and people you know from previous jobs for references and recommendations.\\nLook into the company’s other departments or job banks online to see if there are job openings you can apply to, or register with a temp agency.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Your Coworker\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ensure your coworker is interested.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t just ask any coworker. Ensure they are interested by reading their body language. If they are giving you signals that they may be interested in you, then proceed.\\nThese signals can be direct, like maintaining eye contact, smiling, or touching you while they speak. Or, they can be indirect, like touching their hair, neck, or face while talking to you.\\nIf they adopt closed body language, for example, turning away from you, avoiding eye contact, or any contact at all, then chances are they are not interested.\\nIf you are truly unsure if your coworker is interested, do not fret. You can try more direct contact like asking for their phone number to see how they react. Or, you could try telling them a joke to see if they laugh, and perhaps a conversation could start from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be discreet.\", \"描述\": \"Make your advances confidential. This will gain your coworker’s trust and increase your rate of success.\\nDo not make any big moves at the office, like being overly flirty, or suggesting you do something during work hours or at the office. This will likely scare them away.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Move slowly.\", \"描述\": \"Before you attempt to ask them, get to know them first. Try to find things you have in common with your coworker besides work. \\nAsk them about their hobbies or what they like to do on the weekend.\\nAsk them what their favorite foods are, or ask them about the different places they have traveled to or would like to travel to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Meeting with Your Coworker\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring up the topic.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have gauged the interest of your coworker and you have developed a basic level of camaraderie, you can attempt to bring up the topic of the one-night stand.\\nYour opening line could go something like this: “Hey, I really like talking with you. Would you like to take this conversation back to my place?”\\nYou can be more straightforward and ask, “Would you be interested in sleeping/having sex with me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be honest with your coworker.\", \"描述\": \"Be clear about what you want out of the affair. If it is simply a one-night stand that you are interested in, or if you are willing to consider the possibility of something more, be upfront about it. Let the person know your feelings and how you see the relationship developing in the future. \\nAn example of how you can approach this is by saying, “Before we go through with this, I would like to be clear about my feelings and expectations.”\\nThis is also the time where you should discuss with your coworker privacy issues such disclosing details with other coworkers and posting things on Facebook about the affair.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Arrange a time and place to meet.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have gotten to know your coworker and you are sure they are interested, arrange to meet them somewhere after work or on the weekend. To ensure privacy and your chances of success, meet at a bar or restaurant that you know your other coworkers do not frequent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Aftermath\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stay professional.\", \"描述\": \"Maintain your regular office routines and be cautious about how you behave around other coworkers. \\nWhile at work, do not go out of your way to be overly attentive or nice to your “special” coworker. Do not openly flirt with your coworker as this can cause suspicion among other coworkers.\\nDo not email or instant message your coworker at work about the encounter or personal matters. Limit your conversations to strictly business matters.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Do not kiss and tell.\", \"描述\": \"Agree to keep things secret by not telling other coworkers about the affair. If you have to tell someone about the affair, make sure it is a friend who has no connection to your work place.\\nOne of the biggest mistakes you can make here is by posting about the affair on Facebook. Remember, once something is on Facebook, it is hard to take it back.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Manage the situation.\", \"描述\": \"If caught while trying to keep things secret, be prepared to deal with backlash. Have a risk management strategy by thinking ahead about how to mitigate, minimize, and/or manage the situation.\\nLog more hours at the office.\\nTake on new responsibilities and projects.\\nBe proactive about promoting your accomplishments.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be upfront yet professional if your boss finds out.\", \"描述\": \"If your boss confronts you about the situation, do not lie about it. Own up to it and offer valid solutions. If it was a one-time thing, let your boss know it is over. If it has developed into something more serious, don’t offer to end the affair but do let your boss know that you are sorry that they did not hear it from you first.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Familiarize yourself with your company’s fraternization policies.\\n\", \"Earn your coworker’s trust and get to know them.\\n\", \"Be honest with yourself and your coworker.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Think twice about engaging in a one-night stand with a married coworker.\\n\", \"Be extra careful about superior-subordinate affairs.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,529 | How to Ask a Coworker on a Date | 1. Choosing the Right Opportunity
1-1. Determine if your coworker is single.
Before you ever approach your coworker about going on a date, you should ensure that he or she is actually single. This can save you both a lot of time and embarrassment, and it can help keep your working relationship unaffected.
If you're friends with your coworker, you can check his or her social media for hints of a significant other.
Some social media platforms like Facebook have a designated profile line for relationship statuses. You can also browse through some of your coworker's recent photos to see if there are any pictures of your coworker holding hands or cuddling with someone else, which might indicate a relationship.
If you have a trusted friend in the workplace, you can ask him or her about the coworker you're interested in. Ask your friend to be discreet, and just say something like, "I was thinking about asking _______ out on a date; do you know if he/she is single?"
If none of these options are available to you, you could always ask your coworker himself or herself. Just tread lightly, and try to bring it up in conversation.
For example, you might say something like, "That sounds like a fun plan for this weekend. Are you going with your boyfriend (or girlfriend) or friends, or just by yourself?" If your coworker is single, he or she might say something like, "No, I'm not seeing anyone. I'm just going by myself.
1-2. Look and feel your best that day.
If you know your coworker is single and you've decided to ask him or her out, you should make sure you look your best and feel confident that day. Do something that morning that will either help you relax or get you psyched up, depending on your personality. You should also make sure you feel confident by dressing for success."
Wear your most flattering outfit. Just make sure that outfit is appropriate for the workplace.
Consider getting a haircut a few days before you decide to ask your coworker out. That way you'll look freshly-groomed and you'll make a good impression.
Make sure you shower, and wear deodorant and clean clothes that day. Spend a little extra time grooming yourself so that your hair, facial hair (if you have any), and makeup (if you wear it) are perfect.
Check your mouth in the mirror to make sure you don't have any food stuck between your teeth. Rinse with mouthwash or chew a mint shortly before you approach your coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty.
1-3. Approach your coworker in a comfortable place.
Where and how you ask your coworker out are very important factors to consider. Even if your coworker is interested in you, he or she may have doubts or insecurities about approaching you, and so asking your coworker out in the wrong place, time, or context could create tension or even animosity.
Approach your coworker when he or she is alone. If others are around, your coworker might feel uncomfortable or pressured into saying yes or no.
Choose a comfortable space where you and your coworker will both feel safe. Don't ask your coworker out right outside the bathroom, for example, or in your office (if you have one), as these locations can be intimidating or even downright improper for asking someone out.
A good place to ask might be a neutral work space, like by the copy machine in an office or when you're both behind the counter if you work in a restaurant.
Make sure your coworker isn't rushing off to do something important, as you'll want his or her full attention for a moment when you ask.
1-4. Be yourself.
As you chat with your coworker, it's important that you act like you normally would. If you're nervous, your coworker will notice it. And if you try to put on a fake persona, your coworker will definitely be aware of it and will most likely be turned off by it. Just remain calm and be respectful of your coworker at all times.
1-5. Ask your coworker out on a date.
The hardest part is actually asking your coworker out on a date. It can be very intimidating, but remember that you ultimately don't have much to lose. The worst that could happen is your coworker may politely turn you down, in which case you'll just smile and politely excuse yourself.
Be polite and warm when you ask. Don't come across as pushy or needy, and don't act disinterested.
Make small talk for a few moments first, so it doesn't seem like you're rushing up to ask him/her out. Ask your coworker how he or she is doing, how his/her weekend was, or how his/her day is going.
Transition smoothly into asking your coworker out. You might say something like, "Well hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to chat more over coffee, if you're free this weekend?"
If your coworker says yes, then say, "Great! When would be a good time?" If your coworker says no, be polite and cordial, but don't linger or make it awkward.
1-6. Know when to call it quits.
If you've asked your coworker out and he or she is not interested, you'll need to leave it at that. Repeatedly asking a coworker out on a date who's already told you that he or she isn't interested in dating you could be considered a hostile work environment, which may end up getting you fired. Remember: if your coworker isn't interested in you, there are plenty of other people out there who would love to date you. Pestering your coworker if he/she isn't interested is not worth the time, effort, or the possibility of losing your job.
If your coworker says no, be as polite and respectful as possible.
Say something to defuse any tension, such as, "No problem. Well, I hope you have a good weekend."
Excuse yourself and walk away. Lingering could make things awkward for both of you.
Be polite and courteous to that coworker going forward, but make sure you never flirt with him/her or display any romantic interest now that you know he or she isn't interested.
2. Evaluating Whether Dating Is a Good Idea
2-1. Assess whether there is any type of power dynamic.
The main situation in which dating a coworker is a bad idea (in fact, really the only reason at many places of employment) is if one of you is in a position of power. Dating your boss, manager, or supervisor could get you unfair favors at work. Similarly, dating your employee (if you're the manager) could potentially create a situation where your employee feels pressured to go out with you, and may be uncomfortable or unsafe breaking things off if the relationship isn't working.
Only date someone you're at the same level with. As long as there is no power dynamic between the two of you, you should be able to safely date one another (as long as your place of employment allows it).
Even if you are equals now, there is always a chance that one of you may get promoted in the future. That promotion, which is great for your career, could dramatically alter the nature of your relationship at work.
2-2. Determine your workplace policy on dating coworkers.
Many places of employment have specific guidelines, rules, or even prohibitions regarding workplace relationships. Before you take things to the next level, it's important to know whether your employer will allow it, as you don't want to risk one or both of you losing your job.
Some workplaces require you to disclose any intra-office romances to your supervisor. Others may have even stricter policies in place.
You may need to describe the nature of your new relationship in writing, which may be difficult if you are both still figuring it out and haven't put any "labels" on it yet.
Be aware that if your relationship has the potential to affect either of your productivity levels, you could both be fired from the company if the relationship makes your workplace behavior unprofessional.
Check your employer's rule book (usually either given to you when you are hired or made available online). If you don't have such a rule book, ask someone who works in human resources or a similar position about any policies at your workplace.
Remember that even if workplace romances are allowed, you may get into serious trouble for public displays of affection, flirtation in the workplace, using terms of endearment at work, or giving your partner preferential treatment.
2-3. Consider whether you and your coworker work closely.
Even if you and your coworker are equals, there's still a risk of a bad professional relationship if things don't work out. If you're both able to be mature adults about it, then it should be fine. However, if you will have to work closely with one another, things could get complicated if you end up breaking up.
Ask yourself honestly whether you and your coworker could continue collaborating at work if you recently broke up.
A good way to gauge this is to think back to your most recent messy breakup. Could you and your ex sit at a table together and work on a project?
If you don't think you could handle working with your coworker after a potential breakup, it may be best to avoid dating one another from the start.
If you think you could both handle it maturely, then you should go for it and ask your coworker out.
2-4. Think about what might happen if it doesn't work out.
Even if you don't have to collaborate or work closely, a messy breakup could still affect your workplace performance. Seeing one another at work everyday might be difficult, especially if one of you still has feelings for the other. This doesn't mean that things wouldn't necessarily work out if you and your coworker dated; rather, it just means that you should consider all possible outcomes before you proceed.
Your performance levels may decline if one or both of you feel uncomfortable working around each other.
One of you may end up feeling obligated to leave your department or the company altogether.
If you're already friends with your coworker and are thinking about asking him/her out, you may want to have a serious chat with him/her about what you would both do if you were pressured by your boss to end the relationship. Have a backup plan in advance that you can both agree on.
3. Asking a Coworker Out in a Casual Way
3-1. Know what you're going to ask in advance.
Don't try to wing it on the spot. If you approach your coworker, whether he/she is interested or on the fence, giving vague or ambiguous plans will likely be a turn off. Keep it casual, but know what you have in mind before you ask your coworker out.
If you're not sure that your coworker is interested in you yet, asking him/her to something casual is more likely to succeed than asking him/her out to a formal dinner or movie date.
Decide in advance what you'd like to do - for example, going out for coffee, or perhaps getting a drink together after work (if you're both old enough to drink).
When you ask your coworker out, ask him/her out to whatever casual event you've planned.
Instead of leading with something vague like "Do you want to go out with me?" you could instead say something like, "I'd really like to continue chatting over coffee or maybe a drink sometime, if you're free."
3-2. Invite your coworker to some social event you're going to do.
If you're worried about coming across as too forward with your coworker, you can casually ask him or her about joining you at something you're already planning on doing. Just make sure you choose something appropriate to invite your coworker to, like seeing a concert or going to a street festival.
The advantage of asking someone out this way is that it often comes up naturally in conversation.
If you make small talk with your coworker, he or she will probably ask you what your plans are for the weekend at some point. This is the perfect opportunity to describe your plans, then invite your coworker.
You might say something like, "I'm planning on checking out that concert this Saturday. I have an extra ticket - would you be interested in going with me?
3-3. Have a friendly "competition" over first date ideas.
Having a friendly competition just means seeing who can come up with the best first date idea. This method of asking a coworker out would work best if you and your coworker already have a good rapport and make friendly small talk on a regular basis. The goal is, once again, to keep it casual and not make your coworker uncomfortable.
This method will only work if you and your coworker are already flirting and it's clear that you're both interested in one another.
Try to let the subject come up naturally. This can be a tricky move to pull, and the timing and execution need to be perfect or else it could sound creepy and off-putting.
If someone in the workplace had mentioned having a disastrous date recently, you might say something like, "I feel bad for Shannon after that blind date. My ideal first date would be _______. What's yours?"
Once your coworker responds with his or her ideal first date, you can say something like, "Wow, that actually sounds really fun. Would you maybe want to go sometime, for real?"
Tips
Know your employer's policy on workplace dating and follow it closely. Find out if you have to disclose your relationship, and if so, to whom.
It is usually a good idea to keep workplace relationships between the two of you, other than letting your employer, supervisor, or human resources worker know (if your workplace policy requires it). Don't show a lot of affection towards each other while at work, as this will make your co-workers uncomfortable.
Remain professional whenever you're at work. You don't have to ignore one another or act like you don't know each other, but don't hold hands, kiss, or act intimately in the workplace.
Warnings
Do not use the company email to ask your coworker out or send love letters. If it is monitored or if you are caught, you may get fired. Emails asking out a coworker could potentially be used as evidence against you in a sexual harassment case as well.
Do not consider a business meeting or professional meeting as a date. Keep all of your business and personal communications separate.
If you misinterpret "signals" or are inappropriate, you may be sued for sexual harassment.
If your relationship makes others at work uncomfortable, they may complain to management about your relationship. Even if it is not against policy, always act completely professional while at the office. It's better to be safe than sorry, just in case.
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing the Right Opportunity\\n1-1. Determine if your coworker is single.\\nBefore you ever approach your coworker about going on a date, you should ensure that he or she is actually single. This can save you both a lot of time and embarrassment, and it can help keep your working relationship unaffected.\\nIf you're friends with your coworker, you can check his or her social media for hints of a significant other.\\nSome social media platforms like Facebook have a designated profile line for relationship statuses. You can also browse through some of your coworker's recent photos to see if there are any pictures of your coworker holding hands or cuddling with someone else, which might indicate a relationship.\\nIf you have a trusted friend in the workplace, you can ask him or her about the coworker you're interested in. Ask your friend to be discreet, and just say something like, \\\"I was thinking about asking _______ out on a date; do you know if he/she is single?\\\"\\nIf none of these options are available to you, you could always ask your coworker himself or herself. Just tread lightly, and try to bring it up in conversation.\\nFor example, you might say something like, \\\"That sounds like a fun plan for this weekend. Are you going with your boyfriend (or girlfriend) or friends, or just by yourself?\\\" If your coworker is single, he or she might say something like, \\\"No, I'm not seeing anyone. I'm just going by myself.\\n1-2. Look and feel your best that day.\\nIf you know your coworker is single and you've decided to ask him or her out, you should make sure you look your best and feel confident that day. Do something that morning that will either help you relax or get you psyched up, depending on your personality. You should also make sure you feel confident by dressing for success.\\\"\\nWear your most flattering outfit. Just make sure that outfit is appropriate for the workplace.\\nConsider getting a haircut a few days before you decide to ask your coworker out. That way you'll look freshly-groomed and you'll make a good impression.\\nMake sure you shower, and wear deodorant and clean clothes that day. Spend a little extra time grooming yourself so that your hair, facial hair (if you have any), and makeup (if you wear it) are perfect.\\nCheck your mouth in the mirror to make sure you don't have any food stuck between your teeth. Rinse with mouthwash or chew a mint shortly before you approach your coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty.\\n1-3. Approach your coworker in a comfortable place.\\nWhere and how you ask your coworker out are very important factors to consider. Even if your coworker is interested in you, he or she may have doubts or insecurities about approaching you, and so asking your coworker out in the wrong place, time, or context could create tension or even animosity. \\nApproach your coworker when he or she is alone. If others are around, your coworker might feel uncomfortable or pressured into saying yes or no.\\nChoose a comfortable space where you and your coworker will both feel safe. Don't ask your coworker out right outside the bathroom, for example, or in your office (if you have one), as these locations can be intimidating or even downright improper for asking someone out.\\nA good place to ask might be a neutral work space, like by the copy machine in an office or when you're both behind the counter if you work in a restaurant.\\nMake sure your coworker isn't rushing off to do something important, as you'll want his or her full attention for a moment when you ask.\\n1-4. Be yourself.\\nAs you chat with your coworker, it's important that you act like you normally would. If you're nervous, your coworker will notice it. And if you try to put on a fake persona, your coworker will definitely be aware of it and will most likely be turned off by it. Just remain calm and be respectful of your coworker at all times.\\n1-5. Ask your coworker out on a date.\\nThe hardest part is actually asking your coworker out on a date. It can be very intimidating, but remember that you ultimately don't have much to lose. The worst that could happen is your coworker may politely turn you down, in which case you'll just smile and politely excuse yourself.\\nBe polite and warm when you ask. Don't come across as pushy or needy, and don't act disinterested.\\nMake small talk for a few moments first, so it doesn't seem like you're rushing up to ask him/her out. Ask your coworker how he or she is doing, how his/her weekend was, or how his/her day is going.\\nTransition smoothly into asking your coworker out. You might say something like, \\\"Well hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to chat more over coffee, if you're free this weekend?\\\"\\nIf your coworker says yes, then say, \\\"Great! When would be a good time?\\\" If your coworker says no, be polite and cordial, but don't linger or make it awkward.\\n1-6. Know when to call it quits.\\nIf you've asked your coworker out and he or she is not interested, you'll need to leave it at that. Repeatedly asking a coworker out on a date who's already told you that he or she isn't interested in dating you could be considered a hostile work environment, which may end up getting you fired. Remember: if your coworker isn't interested in you, there are plenty of other people out there who would love to date you. Pestering your coworker if he/she isn't interested is not worth the time, effort, or the possibility of losing your job.\\nIf your coworker says no, be as polite and respectful as possible.\\nSay something to defuse any tension, such as, \\\"No problem. Well, I hope you have a good weekend.\\\"\\nExcuse yourself and walk away. Lingering could make things awkward for both of you.\\nBe polite and courteous to that coworker going forward, but make sure you never flirt with him/her or display any romantic interest now that you know he or she isn't interested.\\n2. Evaluating Whether Dating Is a Good Idea\\n2-1. Assess whether there is any type of power dynamic.\\nThe main situation in which dating a coworker is a bad idea (in fact, really the only reason at many places of employment) is if one of you is in a position of power. Dating your boss, manager, or supervisor could get you unfair favors at work. Similarly, dating your employee (if you're the manager) could potentially create a situation where your employee feels pressured to go out with you, and may be uncomfortable or unsafe breaking things off if the relationship isn't working.\\nOnly date someone you're at the same level with. As long as there is no power dynamic between the two of you, you should be able to safely date one another (as long as your place of employment allows it).\\nEven if you are equals now, there is always a chance that one of you may get promoted in the future. That promotion, which is great for your career, could dramatically alter the nature of your relationship at work.\\n2-2. Determine your workplace policy on dating coworkers.\\nMany places of employment have specific guidelines, rules, or even prohibitions regarding workplace relationships. Before you take things to the next level, it's important to know whether your employer will allow it, as you don't want to risk one or both of you losing your job.\\nSome workplaces require you to disclose any intra-office romances to your supervisor. Others may have even stricter policies in place.\\nYou may need to describe the nature of your new relationship in writing, which may be difficult if you are both still figuring it out and haven't put any \\\"labels\\\" on it yet.\\nBe aware that if your relationship has the potential to affect either of your productivity levels, you could both be fired from the company if the relationship makes your workplace behavior unprofessional.\\nCheck your employer's rule book (usually either given to you when you are hired or made available online). If you don't have such a rule book, ask someone who works in human resources or a similar position about any policies at your workplace.\\nRemember that even if workplace romances are allowed, you may get into serious trouble for public displays of affection, flirtation in the workplace, using terms of endearment at work, or giving your partner preferential treatment.\\n2-3. Consider whether you and your coworker work closely.\\nEven if you and your coworker are equals, there's still a risk of a bad professional relationship if things don't work out. If you're both able to be mature adults about it, then it should be fine. However, if you will have to work closely with one another, things could get complicated if you end up breaking up.\\nAsk yourself honestly whether you and your coworker could continue collaborating at work if you recently broke up.\\nA good way to gauge this is to think back to your most recent messy breakup. Could you and your ex sit at a table together and work on a project?\\nIf you don't think you could handle working with your coworker after a potential breakup, it may be best to avoid dating one another from the start.\\nIf you think you could both handle it maturely, then you should go for it and ask your coworker out.\\n2-4. Think about what might happen if it doesn't work out.\\nEven if you don't have to collaborate or work closely, a messy breakup could still affect your workplace performance. Seeing one another at work everyday might be difficult, especially if one of you still has feelings for the other. This doesn't mean that things wouldn't necessarily work out if you and your coworker dated; rather, it just means that you should consider all possible outcomes before you proceed.\\nYour performance levels may decline if one or both of you feel uncomfortable working around each other.\\nOne of you may end up feeling obligated to leave your department or the company altogether.\\nIf you're already friends with your coworker and are thinking about asking him/her out, you may want to have a serious chat with him/her about what you would both do if you were pressured by your boss to end the relationship. Have a backup plan in advance that you can both agree on.\\n3. Asking a Coworker Out in a Casual Way\\n3-1. Know what you're going to ask in advance.\\nDon't try to wing it on the spot. If you approach your coworker, whether he/she is interested or on the fence, giving vague or ambiguous plans will likely be a turn off. Keep it casual, but know what you have in mind before you ask your coworker out.\\nIf you're not sure that your coworker is interested in you yet, asking him/her to something casual is more likely to succeed than asking him/her out to a formal dinner or movie date.\\nDecide in advance what you'd like to do - for example, going out for coffee, or perhaps getting a drink together after work (if you're both old enough to drink).\\nWhen you ask your coworker out, ask him/her out to whatever casual event you've planned.\\nInstead of leading with something vague like \\\"Do you want to go out with me?\\\" you could instead say something like, \\\"I'd really like to continue chatting over coffee or maybe a drink sometime, if you're free.\\\"\\n3-2. Invite your coworker to some social event you're going to do.\\nIf you're worried about coming across as too forward with your coworker, you can casually ask him or her about joining you at something you're already planning on doing. Just make sure you choose something appropriate to invite your coworker to, like seeing a concert or going to a street festival.\\nThe advantage of asking someone out this way is that it often comes up naturally in conversation.\\nIf you make small talk with your coworker, he or she will probably ask you what your plans are for the weekend at some point. This is the perfect opportunity to describe your plans, then invite your coworker.\\nYou might say something like, \\\"I'm planning on checking out that concert this Saturday. I have an extra ticket - would you be interested in going with me?\\n3-3. Have a friendly \\\"competition\\\" over first date ideas.\\nHaving a friendly competition just means seeing who can come up with the best first date idea. This method of asking a coworker out would work best if you and your coworker already have a good rapport and make friendly small talk on a regular basis. The goal is, once again, to keep it casual and not make your coworker uncomfortable.\\nThis method will only work if you and your coworker are already flirting and it's clear that you're both interested in one another.\\nTry to let the subject come up naturally. This can be a tricky move to pull, and the timing and execution need to be perfect or else it could sound creepy and off-putting.\\nIf someone in the workplace had mentioned having a disastrous date recently, you might say something like, \\\"I feel bad for Shannon after that blind date. My ideal first date would be _______. What's yours?\\\"\\nOnce your coworker responds with his or her ideal first date, you can say something like, \\\"Wow, that actually sounds really fun. Would you maybe want to go sometime, for real?\\\"\\nTips\\nKnow your employer's policy on workplace dating and follow it closely. Find out if you have to disclose your relationship, and if so, to whom.\\nIt is usually a good idea to keep workplace relationships between the two of you, other than letting your employer, supervisor, or human resources worker know (if your workplace policy requires it). Don't show a lot of affection towards each other while at work, as this will make your co-workers uncomfortable.\\nRemain professional whenever you're at work. You don't have to ignore one another or act like you don't know each other, but don't hold hands, kiss, or act intimately in the workplace.\\nWarnings\\nDo not use the company email to ask your coworker out or send love letters. If it is monitored or if you are caught, you may get fired. Emails asking out a coworker could potentially be used as evidence against you in a sexual harassment case as well.\\nDo not consider a business meeting or professional meeting as a date. Keep all of your business and personal communications separate.\\nIf you misinterpret \\\"signals\\\" or are inappropriate, you may be sued for sexual harassment.\\nIf your relationship makes others at work uncomfortable, they may complain to management about your relationship. Even if it is not against policy, always act completely professional while at the office. It's better to be safe than sorry, just in case.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a coworker out on a date can be tricky. You don't want to be too forward, but you want to show him or her that you're interested. You also don't want to make things awkward at work, but the urge to ask him or her out may be burning you up inside. The fact of the matter is that office dating is very common, and is generally well-accepted. As long as you are polite and respectful when you ask your coworker out, and so long as you can both keep your workplace relationship professional, you should have nothing to worry about. However, it's always a good idea to check with your employee handbook or human resources representative about any workplace dating policies first so that you can avoid potential problems down the line.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing the Right Opportunity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine if your coworker is single.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ever approach your coworker about going on a date, you should ensure that he or she is actually single. This can save you both a lot of time and embarrassment, and it can help keep your working relationship unaffected.\\nIf you're friends with your coworker, you can check his or her social media for hints of a significant other.\\nSome social media platforms like Facebook have a designated profile line for relationship statuses. You can also browse through some of your coworker's recent photos to see if there are any pictures of your coworker holding hands or cuddling with someone else, which might indicate a relationship.\\nIf you have a trusted friend in the workplace, you can ask him or her about the coworker you're interested in. Ask your friend to be discreet, and just say something like, \\\"I was thinking about asking _______ out on a date; do you know if he/she is single?\\\"\\nIf none of these options are available to you, you could always ask your coworker himself or herself. Just tread lightly, and try to bring it up in conversation.\\nFor example, you might say something like, \\\"That sounds like a fun plan for this weekend. Are you going with your boyfriend (or girlfriend) or friends, or just by yourself?\\\" If your coworker is single, he or she might say something like, \\\"No, I'm not seeing anyone. I'm just going by myself.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look and feel your best that day.\", \"描述\": \"If you know your coworker is single and you've decided to ask him or her out, you should make sure you look your best and feel confident that day. Do something that morning that will either help you relax or get you psyched up, depending on your personality. You should also make sure you feel confident by dressing for success.\\\"\\nWear your most flattering outfit. Just make sure that outfit is appropriate for the workplace.\\nConsider getting a haircut a few days before you decide to ask your coworker out. That way you'll look freshly-groomed and you'll make a good impression.\\nMake sure you shower, and wear deodorant and clean clothes that day. Spend a little extra time grooming yourself so that your hair, facial hair (if you have any), and makeup (if you wear it) are perfect.\\nCheck your mouth in the mirror to make sure you don't have any food stuck between your teeth. Rinse with mouthwash or chew a mint shortly before you approach your coworker so that your breath is fresh and minty.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Approach your coworker in a comfortable place.\", \"描述\": \"Where and how you ask your coworker out are very important factors to consider. Even if your coworker is interested in you, he or she may have doubts or insecurities about approaching you, and so asking your coworker out in the wrong place, time, or context could create tension or even animosity. \\nApproach your coworker when he or she is alone. If others are around, your coworker might feel uncomfortable or pressured into saying yes or no.\\nChoose a comfortable space where you and your coworker will both feel safe. Don't ask your coworker out right outside the bathroom, for example, or in your office (if you have one), as these locations can be intimidating or even downright improper for asking someone out.\\nA good place to ask might be a neutral work space, like by the copy machine in an office or when you're both behind the counter if you work in a restaurant.\\nMake sure your coworker isn't rushing off to do something important, as you'll want his or her full attention for a moment when you ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be yourself.\", \"描述\": \"As you chat with your coworker, it's important that you act like you normally would. If you're nervous, your coworker will notice it. And if you try to put on a fake persona, your coworker will definitely be aware of it and will most likely be turned off by it. Just remain calm and be respectful of your coworker at all times.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask your coworker out on a date.\", \"描述\": \"The hardest part is actually asking your coworker out on a date. It can be very intimidating, but remember that you ultimately don't have much to lose. The worst that could happen is your coworker may politely turn you down, in which case you'll just smile and politely excuse yourself.\\nBe polite and warm when you ask. Don't come across as pushy or needy, and don't act disinterested.\\nMake small talk for a few moments first, so it doesn't seem like you're rushing up to ask him/her out. Ask your coworker how he or she is doing, how his/her weekend was, or how his/her day is going.\\nTransition smoothly into asking your coworker out. You might say something like, \\\"Well hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. I'd like to chat more over coffee, if you're free this weekend?\\\"\\nIf your coworker says yes, then say, \\\"Great! When would be a good time?\\\" If your coworker says no, be polite and cordial, but don't linger or make it awkward.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Know when to call it quits.\", \"描述\": \"If you've asked your coworker out and he or she is not interested, you'll need to leave it at that. Repeatedly asking a coworker out on a date who's already told you that he or she isn't interested in dating you could be considered a hostile work environment, which may end up getting you fired. Remember: if your coworker isn't interested in you, there are plenty of other people out there who would love to date you. Pestering your coworker if he/she isn't interested is not worth the time, effort, or the possibility of losing your job.\\nIf your coworker says no, be as polite and respectful as possible.\\nSay something to defuse any tension, such as, \\\"No problem. Well, I hope you have a good weekend.\\\"\\nExcuse yourself and walk away. Lingering could make things awkward for both of you.\\nBe polite and courteous to that coworker going forward, but make sure you never flirt with him/her or display any romantic interest now that you know he or she isn't interested.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluating Whether Dating Is a Good Idea\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess whether there is any type of power dynamic.\", \"描述\": \"The main situation in which dating a coworker is a bad idea (in fact, really the only reason at many places of employment) is if one of you is in a position of power. Dating your boss, manager, or supervisor could get you unfair favors at work. Similarly, dating your employee (if you're the manager) could potentially create a situation where your employee feels pressured to go out with you, and may be uncomfortable or unsafe breaking things off if the relationship isn't working.\\nOnly date someone you're at the same level with. As long as there is no power dynamic between the two of you, you should be able to safely date one another (as long as your place of employment allows it).\\nEven if you are equals now, there is always a chance that one of you may get promoted in the future. That promotion, which is great for your career, could dramatically alter the nature of your relationship at work.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determine your workplace policy on dating coworkers.\", \"描述\": \"Many places of employment have specific guidelines, rules, or even prohibitions regarding workplace relationships. Before you take things to the next level, it's important to know whether your employer will allow it, as you don't want to risk one or both of you losing your job.\\nSome workplaces require you to disclose any intra-office romances to your supervisor. Others may have even stricter policies in place.\\nYou may need to describe the nature of your new relationship in writing, which may be difficult if you are both still figuring it out and haven't put any \\\"labels\\\" on it yet.\\nBe aware that if your relationship has the potential to affect either of your productivity levels, you could both be fired from the company if the relationship makes your workplace behavior unprofessional.\\nCheck your employer's rule book (usually either given to you when you are hired or made available online). If you don't have such a rule book, ask someone who works in human resources or a similar position about any policies at your workplace.\\nRemember that even if workplace romances are allowed, you may get into serious trouble for public displays of affection, flirtation in the workplace, using terms of endearment at work, or giving your partner preferential treatment.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider whether you and your coworker work closely.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you and your coworker are equals, there's still a risk of a bad professional relationship if things don't work out. If you're both able to be mature adults about it, then it should be fine. However, if you will have to work closely with one another, things could get complicated if you end up breaking up.\\nAsk yourself honestly whether you and your coworker could continue collaborating at work if you recently broke up.\\nA good way to gauge this is to think back to your most recent messy breakup. Could you and your ex sit at a table together and work on a project?\\nIf you don't think you could handle working with your coworker after a potential breakup, it may be best to avoid dating one another from the start.\\nIf you think you could both handle it maturely, then you should go for it and ask your coworker out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think about what might happen if it doesn't work out.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you don't have to collaborate or work closely, a messy breakup could still affect your workplace performance. Seeing one another at work everyday might be difficult, especially if one of you still has feelings for the other. This doesn't mean that things wouldn't necessarily work out if you and your coworker dated; rather, it just means that you should consider all possible outcomes before you proceed.\\nYour performance levels may decline if one or both of you feel uncomfortable working around each other.\\nOne of you may end up feeling obligated to leave your department or the company altogether.\\nIf you're already friends with your coworker and are thinking about asking him/her out, you may want to have a serious chat with him/her about what you would both do if you were pressured by your boss to end the relationship. Have a backup plan in advance that you can both agree on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking a Coworker Out in a Casual Way\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know what you're going to ask in advance.\", \"描述\": \"Don't try to wing it on the spot. If you approach your coworker, whether he/she is interested or on the fence, giving vague or ambiguous plans will likely be a turn off. Keep it casual, but know what you have in mind before you ask your coworker out.\\nIf you're not sure that your coworker is interested in you yet, asking him/her to something casual is more likely to succeed than asking him/her out to a formal dinner or movie date.\\nDecide in advance what you'd like to do - for example, going out for coffee, or perhaps getting a drink together after work (if you're both old enough to drink).\\nWhen you ask your coworker out, ask him/her out to whatever casual event you've planned.\\nInstead of leading with something vague like \\\"Do you want to go out with me?\\\" you could instead say something like, \\\"I'd really like to continue chatting over coffee or maybe a drink sometime, if you're free.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invite your coworker to some social event you're going to do.\", \"描述\": \"If you're worried about coming across as too forward with your coworker, you can casually ask him or her about joining you at something you're already planning on doing. Just make sure you choose something appropriate to invite your coworker to, like seeing a concert or going to a street festival.\\nThe advantage of asking someone out this way is that it often comes up naturally in conversation.\\nIf you make small talk with your coworker, he or she will probably ask you what your plans are for the weekend at some point. This is the perfect opportunity to describe your plans, then invite your coworker.\\nYou might say something like, \\\"I'm planning on checking out that concert this Saturday. I have an extra ticket - would you be interested in going with me?\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a friendly \\\"competition\\\" over first date ideas.\", \"描述\": \"Having a friendly competition just means seeing who can come up with the best first date idea. This method of asking a coworker out would work best if you and your coworker already have a good rapport and make friendly small talk on a regular basis. The goal is, once again, to keep it casual and not make your coworker uncomfortable.\\nThis method will only work if you and your coworker are already flirting and it's clear that you're both interested in one another.\\nTry to let the subject come up naturally. This can be a tricky move to pull, and the timing and execution need to be perfect or else it could sound creepy and off-putting.\\nIf someone in the workplace had mentioned having a disastrous date recently, you might say something like, \\\"I feel bad for Shannon after that blind date. My ideal first date would be _______. What's yours?\\\"\\nOnce your coworker responds with his or her ideal first date, you can say something like, \\\"Wow, that actually sounds really fun. Would you maybe want to go sometime, for real?\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Know your employer's policy on workplace dating and follow it closely. Find out if you have to disclose your relationship, and if so, to whom.\\n\", \"It is usually a good idea to keep workplace relationships between the two of you, other than letting your employer, supervisor, or human resources worker know (if your workplace policy requires it). Don't show a lot of affection towards each other while at work, as this will make your co-workers uncomfortable.\\n\", \"Remain professional whenever you're at work. You don't have to ignore one another or act like you don't know each other, but don't hold hands, kiss, or act intimately in the workplace.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not use the company email to ask your coworker out or send love letters. If it is monitored or if you are caught, you may get fired. Emails asking out a coworker could potentially be used as evidence against you in a sexual harassment case as well.\\n\", \"Do not consider a business meeting or professional meeting as a date. Keep all of your business and personal communications separate.\\n\", \"If you misinterpret \\\"signals\\\" or are inappropriate, you may be sued for sexual harassment.\\n\", \"If your relationship makes others at work uncomfortable, they may complain to management about your relationship. Even if it is not against policy, always act completely professional while at the office. It's better to be safe than sorry, just in case.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,530 | How to Ask a Cute Stranger Out | 1. Approaching a Stranger
1-1. Smile.
Smiling at a person shows that you are friendly, non-threatening, and interested in them. If the person smiles back at you, it is a good indication that they are thinking positively of you.
Notice the difference between a “real” and a “fake” smile by noticing if the skin at the outer corners of their eyes creases when they smile. These creases indicate that the person is genuinely happy. If you do not see these creases, they may just be smiling to be polite. Their smile may also lack eye creases if they have suffered nerve damage or have had Botox treatments.
1-2. Use a three-part approach to opening a conversation.
Start by making an observation about something you both have in common or something you are both seeing or experiencing at that moment. Then reveal something about yourself related to that, and follow up immediately with a question about them.
If you are at a music concert, you could make an observation about the band, like, “The guitarist played a great solo during that last song. This is my first time seeing this band. Have you seen them perform before?”
You could make a comment about the weather by saying, “The weather this afternoon is perfect. I’ve been waiting for it to warm up enough to go kayaking down the river. Have you ever kayaked the river?”
If the person you’re trying to talk to is wearing an interesting accessory or piece of clothing, you could begin with an observation about it, such as, “That’s a very interesting necklace you have on. It reminds me of a hand-carved figurine I saw at a market in Marrakesh. Did you make it yourself?”
1-3. Avoid clichéd pickup lines.
Pickup lines may be funny to joke about with friends, but using them in earnest while trying to ask out a stranger can make you seem like you’re not smart or charming enough to think up something original on your own. Additionally, many pickup lines are insulting and belittling, and could make the person you approach feel objectified or just turn them off of you completely.
1-4. Introduce yourself.
Once you’ve begun a conversation and you’ve determined that this is a person you’d like to spend more time with, take a moment to introduce yourself and ask them to introduce themselves in return.
You might say, “My name is Casey, by the way. What’s yours?”
1-5. Offer your hand for a handshake as you introduce yourself.
This is a great time to initiate physical contact. If the person’s body language is showing you that they are interested in and attracted to you, you may want to hold their hand longer than a typical handshake. Consider placing your other hand on top of theirs, so you are holding their hand in both of yours. Another very flirtatious option is to bring their hand to your lips and kiss it just above or below the knuckles.
If the person is reluctant to give you their name or pulls their hand away quickly after a handshake, then the person may not be attracted to you and is just talking to you to be polite.
1-6. Determine whether or not the person is available and open to dating.
Asking if the person is in a relationship will signal that you are romantically interested in them. If the person is already in a committed relationship, they will probably not be interested in going on a date with you. If they are not in a relationship but not interested in you, asking them about a significant other gives them the opportunity to say they are not interested in dating at this time.
You can ask directly if they have a significant other by saying, “So do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone right now?”
You may also ask in a more passive way by saying, “Where is your boyfriend tonight?” or “That’s a nice watch. Did your girlfriend buy it for you?”
1-7. Ask if they have any plans for that weekend.
This approach paves the way for you to ask them on a date. For example, if they are planning to go to a concert with friends on Friday night, you can ask them to go out with you on Saturday.
You may use this approach instead of asking about a significant other directly. Asking them what they're doing over the weekend gives them the opportunity to mention a significant other if they have one by saying, “My girlfriend and I are going bowling on Saturday.”
2. Asking Someone on a Date
2-1. Ask the person on a date.
Tell the person why you find them attractive and that you would like to get to know them better. Ask if they would be interested in spending more time with you on a date.
For example, you could say, “I’m really enjoying this conversation with you. You know so much about kayaking, and you are very beautiful, too. I would love to see you again and get to know you better. Would you like to go out on a date with me?”
2-2. Be specific with an idea for a date, if possible.
If you can’t think of a date idea on the spot, tell them that you will call them to set up the specifics for your date. If you’ve gotten to know the person through conversation, you might have an idea already of what would make a good date.
For example, if you think they’ll like a particular band that is playing on Friday night, ask if they’d like to go to the concert with you by saying, “Have you seen the Essentials play yet? They’re doing a show Friday night at Joy Theater. Would you like to go with me?”
2-3. Exchange contact information.
If the person agrees to go out on a date with you, make sure you get their contact information. Ask for their phone number so you can contact them. Be direct by simply asking, “Can I get your phone number?”
If you sense that they would prefer to be in control on contacting you, offer to give them your number by saying, “Here’s my phone number. Call me this week so we can set something up for the weekend.”
2-4. Call the person within a day or two of getting their number.
Calling them promptly shows that you are interested in them and that you take them seriously.
If you haven’t already set a specific time and place for your date, have a specific idea in mind to invite them to when you call. Being indecisive can be a turn-off for some people and if you call without a specific idea in mind, it may seem like you don’t respect them enough to plan ahead.
2-5. Accept rejection kindly.
Even if all their body language indicates they are attracted to you, there is still a possibility the person could turn you down for a date. Tell them that you really enjoyed talking to them and that you wish them the best before parting ways with them.
There are many different reasons that a person might turn you down for a date. They may be attracted to you, but have something going on in their life that makes it difficult for them to date, such as if they have a demanding job, like modeling, acting, or nursing, or if they have to travel a lot. They may also have just gotten out of a serious relationship and may not be ready to date again. Or maybe they just don’t find you as attractive as you thought they did. Rejection does not mean that you did anything wrong; it’s just not the right fit with this person at this moment in time.
Appreciate that it can be difficult to be honest with someone when they are asking you out on a date. If this person tells you upfront that they do not want to date you, they are being more courageous than giving you their phone number and then never answering your calls.
3. Reading Body Language
3-1. Make eye contact.
Sustained eye contact for 2-3 seconds is a sign that a person is attracted to you. A person who is being shy or flirtatious may look at your, look away and then look back several times. On the other hand, if the person looks away and does not look back or turns their head or body away from you, this is a sign they are not interested in you.
Some women may tuck their chin down then look up at you and bat their eyes quickly.
A man may be more likely to raise his eyebrows briefly to show he’s interested.
3-2. Look for availability in their body language.
Signs of availability include smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, and looking up or straight ahead.Unavailable or defensive postures include folding their arms across their chests, crossing their legs tightly, and looking down at their feet or even a cell phone.
How a woman holds her purse is a great indication of availability. If she is holding her purse in front of her body or clutching it tightly against her side, she may subconsciously be trying to “hide” from you or place an obstacle between you and her. Holding her purse at her side or pushed towards her back are good signs that she’s open to you. If you are in a busy, crowded area, she may just be clutching her purse because she is afraid of getting it stolen or being pickpocketed, so pay attention to other signs of attraction as well.
A woman who is wearing a skirt may keep her legs crossed out of propriety while she is sitting and still be open to you. Turning her torso towards you is a good indication that she is open to being approached. She may also change her position from crossing her legs at the knees to crossing them at the ankles, which is another indication she may be attracted to you.
A man may stand with his hands on his hips or, if sitting, spread his legs further apart to widen his stance. Both of these gestures are indications he is attracted to you.
3-3. Notice if they are playing with their hair.
A person who is attracted to you may start running their fingers through their hair. A woman with longer hair may flip her hair off her shoulder to expose her neck.
A man may either smooth out or mess up his hair to make his hairstyle more flattering and attractive.
3-4. Pay attention to their feet.
People instinctually point their feet towards someone they are attracted to. If the person has turned their feet to point at you, it’s a good indication that they are attracted to you, or at least very interested in you.
3-5. Notice if they are wearing a wedding band.
It is possible that a married person may be attracted to you and show signs of being interested in meeting you. However, if they are legally attached to someone else, they may not be interested in dating you or may be looking for someone to cheat on their spouse with. Only proceed in asking this person out if you are comfortable with this potential complication or are prepared for being turned down.
Tips
Be confident. Many people find confidence attractive, because it shows that you are secure in your own identity.
Smile when approaching and talking to anyone you’re attracted to.
Don’t ignore someone’s phone calls. If you change your mind about wanting to date this person, answer the phone and tell them that you are no longer interested.
Warnings
Don’t ask someone on a date if it is obvious they are with a significant other. Asking someone out in front of that person’s boyfriend or girlfriend is aggressive and threatening, and it may lead to a physical fight.
If the person you are attracted to is having an intense conversation with a friend or if they are with their parents or other family members, you may consider that this might not be the best time to ask them out on a date.
No one is obligated to go out on a date with you, even if you were being nice and even if you bought the person a drink or some food. Feeling that someone must say yes just because you did everything “right” means that you feel entitled and maybe see that rejection of a date as a rejection of your own self-worth.[17]
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Remember, that person’s turning you down may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with other things going on in that person’s life.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching a Stranger\\n1-1. Smile.\\nSmiling at a person shows that you are friendly, non-threatening, and interested in them. If the person smiles back at you, it is a good indication that they are thinking positively of you.\\nNotice the difference between a “real” and a “fake” smile by noticing if the skin at the outer corners of their eyes creases when they smile. These creases indicate that the person is genuinely happy. If you do not see these creases, they may just be smiling to be polite. Their smile may also lack eye creases if they have suffered nerve damage or have had Botox treatments.\\n1-2. Use a three-part approach to opening a conversation.\\nStart by making an observation about something you both have in common or something you are both seeing or experiencing at that moment. Then reveal something about yourself related to that, and follow up immediately with a question about them. \\nIf you are at a music concert, you could make an observation about the band, like, “The guitarist played a great solo during that last song. This is my first time seeing this band. Have you seen them perform before?”\\nYou could make a comment about the weather by saying, “The weather this afternoon is perfect. I’ve been waiting for it to warm up enough to go kayaking down the river. Have you ever kayaked the river?”\\nIf the person you’re trying to talk to is wearing an interesting accessory or piece of clothing, you could begin with an observation about it, such as, “That’s a very interesting necklace you have on. It reminds me of a hand-carved figurine I saw at a market in Marrakesh. Did you make it yourself?”\\n1-3. Avoid clichéd pickup lines.\\nPickup lines may be funny to joke about with friends, but using them in earnest while trying to ask out a stranger can make you seem like you’re not smart or charming enough to think up something original on your own. Additionally, many pickup lines are insulting and belittling, and could make the person you approach feel objectified or just turn them off of you completely.\\n1-4. Introduce yourself.\\nOnce you’ve begun a conversation and you’ve determined that this is a person you’d like to spend more time with, take a moment to introduce yourself and ask them to introduce themselves in return.\\nYou might say, “My name is Casey, by the way. What’s yours?”\\n1-5. Offer your hand for a handshake as you introduce yourself.\\nThis is a great time to initiate physical contact. If the person’s body language is showing you that they are interested in and attracted to you, you may want to hold their hand longer than a typical handshake. Consider placing your other hand on top of theirs, so you are holding their hand in both of yours. Another very flirtatious option is to bring their hand to your lips and kiss it just above or below the knuckles.\\nIf the person is reluctant to give you their name or pulls their hand away quickly after a handshake, then the person may not be attracted to you and is just talking to you to be polite.\\n1-6. Determine whether or not the person is available and open to dating.\\nAsking if the person is in a relationship will signal that you are romantically interested in them. If the person is already in a committed relationship, they will probably not be interested in going on a date with you. If they are not in a relationship but not interested in you, asking them about a significant other gives them the opportunity to say they are not interested in dating at this time.\\nYou can ask directly if they have a significant other by saying, “So do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone right now?”\\nYou may also ask in a more passive way by saying, “Where is your boyfriend tonight?” or “That’s a nice watch. Did your girlfriend buy it for you?”\\n1-7. Ask if they have any plans for that weekend.\\nThis approach paves the way for you to ask them on a date. For example, if they are planning to go to a concert with friends on Friday night, you can ask them to go out with you on Saturday.\\nYou may use this approach instead of asking about a significant other directly. Asking them what they're doing over the weekend gives them the opportunity to mention a significant other if they have one by saying, “My girlfriend and I are going bowling on Saturday.”\\n2. Asking Someone on a Date\\n2-1. Ask the person on a date.\\nTell the person why you find them attractive and that you would like to get to know them better. Ask if they would be interested in spending more time with you on a date.\\nFor example, you could say, “I’m really enjoying this conversation with you. You know so much about kayaking, and you are very beautiful, too. I would love to see you again and get to know you better. Would you like to go out on a date with me?”\\n2-2. Be specific with an idea for a date, if possible.\\nIf you can’t think of a date idea on the spot, tell them that you will call them to set up the specifics for your date. If you’ve gotten to know the person through conversation, you might have an idea already of what would make a good date.\\nFor example, if you think they’ll like a particular band that is playing on Friday night, ask if they’d like to go to the concert with you by saying, “Have you seen the Essentials play yet? They’re doing a show Friday night at Joy Theater. Would you like to go with me?”\\n2-3. Exchange contact information.\\nIf the person agrees to go out on a date with you, make sure you get their contact information. Ask for their phone number so you can contact them. Be direct by simply asking, “Can I get your phone number?”\\nIf you sense that they would prefer to be in control on contacting you, offer to give them your number by saying, “Here’s my phone number. Call me this week so we can set something up for the weekend.”\\n2-4. Call the person within a day or two of getting their number.\\nCalling them promptly shows that you are interested in them and that you take them seriously.\\nIf you haven’t already set a specific time and place for your date, have a specific idea in mind to invite them to when you call. Being indecisive can be a turn-off for some people and if you call without a specific idea in mind, it may seem like you don’t respect them enough to plan ahead.\\n2-5. Accept rejection kindly.\\nEven if all their body language indicates they are attracted to you, there is still a possibility the person could turn you down for a date. Tell them that you really enjoyed talking to them and that you wish them the best before parting ways with them.\\nThere are many different reasons that a person might turn you down for a date. They may be attracted to you, but have something going on in their life that makes it difficult for them to date, such as if they have a demanding job, like modeling, acting, or nursing, or if they have to travel a lot. They may also have just gotten out of a serious relationship and may not be ready to date again. Or maybe they just don’t find you as attractive as you thought they did. Rejection does not mean that you did anything wrong; it’s just not the right fit with this person at this moment in time.\\nAppreciate that it can be difficult to be honest with someone when they are asking you out on a date. If this person tells you upfront that they do not want to date you, they are being more courageous than giving you their phone number and then never answering your calls.\\n3. Reading Body Language\\n3-1. Make eye contact.\\nSustained eye contact for 2-3 seconds is a sign that a person is attracted to you. A person who is being shy or flirtatious may look at your, look away and then look back several times. On the other hand, if the person looks away and does not look back or turns their head or body away from you, this is a sign they are not interested in you.\\nSome women may tuck their chin down then look up at you and bat their eyes quickly.\\nA man may be more likely to raise his eyebrows briefly to show he’s interested.\\n3-2. Look for availability in their body language.\\nSigns of availability include smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, and looking up or straight ahead.Unavailable or defensive postures include folding their arms across their chests, crossing their legs tightly, and looking down at their feet or even a cell phone.\\nHow a woman holds her purse is a great indication of availability. If she is holding her purse in front of her body or clutching it tightly against her side, she may subconsciously be trying to “hide” from you or place an obstacle between you and her. Holding her purse at her side or pushed towards her back are good signs that she’s open to you. If you are in a busy, crowded area, she may just be clutching her purse because she is afraid of getting it stolen or being pickpocketed, so pay attention to other signs of attraction as well.\\nA woman who is wearing a skirt may keep her legs crossed out of propriety while she is sitting and still be open to you. Turning her torso towards you is a good indication that she is open to being approached. She may also change her position from crossing her legs at the knees to crossing them at the ankles, which is another indication she may be attracted to you.\\nA man may stand with his hands on his hips or, if sitting, spread his legs further apart to widen his stance. Both of these gestures are indications he is attracted to you.\\n3-3. Notice if they are playing with their hair.\\nA person who is attracted to you may start running their fingers through their hair. A woman with longer hair may flip her hair off her shoulder to expose her neck.\\n A man may either smooth out or mess up his hair to make his hairstyle more flattering and attractive.\\n3-4. Pay attention to their feet.\\nPeople instinctually point their feet towards someone they are attracted to. If the person has turned their feet to point at you, it’s a good indication that they are attracted to you, or at least very interested in you.\\n3-5. Notice if they are wearing a wedding band.\\nIt is possible that a married person may be attracted to you and show signs of being interested in meeting you. However, if they are legally attached to someone else, they may not be interested in dating you or may be looking for someone to cheat on their spouse with. Only proceed in asking this person out if you are comfortable with this potential complication or are prepared for being turned down.\\nTips\\nBe confident. Many people find confidence attractive, because it shows that you are secure in your own identity.\\nSmile when approaching and talking to anyone you’re attracted to.\\nDon’t ignore someone’s phone calls. If you change your mind about wanting to date this person, answer the phone and tell them that you are no longer interested.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t ask someone on a date if it is obvious they are with a significant other. Asking someone out in front of that person’s boyfriend or girlfriend is aggressive and threatening, and it may lead to a physical fight.\\nIf the person you are attracted to is having an intense conversation with a friend or if they are with their parents or other family members, you may consider that this might not be the best time to ask them out on a date.\\nNo one is obligated to go out on a date with you, even if you were being nice and even if you bought the person a drink or some food. Feeling that someone must say yes just because you did everything “right” means that you feel entitled and maybe see that rejection of a date as a rejection of your own self-worth.[17]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nHarvard Business Review\\nOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practices\\nGo to source\\n\\n Remember, that person’s turning you down may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with other things going on in that person’s life.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"How many times have you met or even just passed by an attractive stranger who you have really wanted to ask out, but have been unsure of how to approach them? Many of us fear that we will be embarrassed or feel rejected if the person turns us down. However, if you cultivate a little bit of self-confidence, you may find that it’s not as difficult as you think to ask someone out. And even though you may be turned down, remember that you definitely lose 100% of the chances you don’t take.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching a Stranger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile.\", \"描述\": \"Smiling at a person shows that you are friendly, non-threatening, and interested in them. If the person smiles back at you, it is a good indication that they are thinking positively of you.\\nNotice the difference between a “real” and a “fake” smile by noticing if the skin at the outer corners of their eyes creases when they smile. These creases indicate that the person is genuinely happy. If you do not see these creases, they may just be smiling to be polite. Their smile may also lack eye creases if they have suffered nerve damage or have had Botox treatments.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a three-part approach to opening a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Start by making an observation about something you both have in common or something you are both seeing or experiencing at that moment. Then reveal something about yourself related to that, and follow up immediately with a question about them. \\nIf you are at a music concert, you could make an observation about the band, like, “The guitarist played a great solo during that last song. This is my first time seeing this band. Have you seen them perform before?”\\nYou could make a comment about the weather by saying, “The weather this afternoon is perfect. I’ve been waiting for it to warm up enough to go kayaking down the river. Have you ever kayaked the river?”\\nIf the person you’re trying to talk to is wearing an interesting accessory or piece of clothing, you could begin with an observation about it, such as, “That’s a very interesting necklace you have on. It reminds me of a hand-carved figurine I saw at a market in Marrakesh. Did you make it yourself?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid clichéd pickup lines.\", \"描述\": \"Pickup lines may be funny to joke about with friends, but using them in earnest while trying to ask out a stranger can make you seem like you’re not smart or charming enough to think up something original on your own. Additionally, many pickup lines are insulting and belittling, and could make the person you approach feel objectified or just turn them off of you completely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve begun a conversation and you’ve determined that this is a person you’d like to spend more time with, take a moment to introduce yourself and ask them to introduce themselves in return.\\nYou might say, “My name is Casey, by the way. What’s yours?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Offer your hand for a handshake as you introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"This is a great time to initiate physical contact. If the person’s body language is showing you that they are interested in and attracted to you, you may want to hold their hand longer than a typical handshake. Consider placing your other hand on top of theirs, so you are holding their hand in both of yours. Another very flirtatious option is to bring their hand to your lips and kiss it just above or below the knuckles.\\nIf the person is reluctant to give you their name or pulls their hand away quickly after a handshake, then the person may not be attracted to you and is just talking to you to be polite.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Determine whether or not the person is available and open to dating.\", \"描述\": \"Asking if the person is in a relationship will signal that you are romantically interested in them. If the person is already in a committed relationship, they will probably not be interested in going on a date with you. If they are not in a relationship but not interested in you, asking them about a significant other gives them the opportunity to say they are not interested in dating at this time.\\nYou can ask directly if they have a significant other by saying, “So do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone right now?”\\nYou may also ask in a more passive way by saying, “Where is your boyfriend tonight?” or “That’s a nice watch. Did your girlfriend buy it for you?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask if they have any plans for that weekend.\", \"描述\": \"This approach paves the way for you to ask them on a date. For example, if they are planning to go to a concert with friends on Friday night, you can ask them to go out with you on Saturday.\\nYou may use this approach instead of asking about a significant other directly. Asking them what they're doing over the weekend gives them the opportunity to mention a significant other if they have one by saying, “My girlfriend and I are going bowling on Saturday.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Someone on a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the person on a date.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the person why you find them attractive and that you would like to get to know them better. Ask if they would be interested in spending more time with you on a date.\\nFor example, you could say, “I’m really enjoying this conversation with you. You know so much about kayaking, and you are very beautiful, too. I would love to see you again and get to know you better. Would you like to go out on a date with me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be specific with an idea for a date, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"If you can’t think of a date idea on the spot, tell them that you will call them to set up the specifics for your date. If you’ve gotten to know the person through conversation, you might have an idea already of what would make a good date.\\nFor example, if you think they’ll like a particular band that is playing on Friday night, ask if they’d like to go to the concert with you by saying, “Have you seen the Essentials play yet? They’re doing a show Friday night at Joy Theater. Would you like to go with me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exchange contact information.\", \"描述\": \"If the person agrees to go out on a date with you, make sure you get their contact information. Ask for their phone number so you can contact them. Be direct by simply asking, “Can I get your phone number?”\\nIf you sense that they would prefer to be in control on contacting you, offer to give them your number by saying, “Here’s my phone number. Call me this week so we can set something up for the weekend.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call the person within a day or two of getting their number.\", \"描述\": \"Calling them promptly shows that you are interested in them and that you take them seriously.\\nIf you haven’t already set a specific time and place for your date, have a specific idea in mind to invite them to when you call. Being indecisive can be a turn-off for some people and if you call without a specific idea in mind, it may seem like you don’t respect them enough to plan ahead.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept rejection kindly.\", \"描述\": \"Even if all their body language indicates they are attracted to you, there is still a possibility the person could turn you down for a date. Tell them that you really enjoyed talking to them and that you wish them the best before parting ways with them.\\nThere are many different reasons that a person might turn you down for a date. They may be attracted to you, but have something going on in their life that makes it difficult for them to date, such as if they have a demanding job, like modeling, acting, or nursing, or if they have to travel a lot. They may also have just gotten out of a serious relationship and may not be ready to date again. Or maybe they just don’t find you as attractive as you thought they did. Rejection does not mean that you did anything wrong; it’s just not the right fit with this person at this moment in time.\\nAppreciate that it can be difficult to be honest with someone when they are asking you out on a date. If this person tells you upfront that they do not want to date you, they are being more courageous than giving you their phone number and then never answering your calls.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Reading Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Sustained eye contact for 2-3 seconds is a sign that a person is attracted to you. A person who is being shy or flirtatious may look at your, look away and then look back several times. On the other hand, if the person looks away and does not look back or turns their head or body away from you, this is a sign they are not interested in you.\\nSome women may tuck their chin down then look up at you and bat their eyes quickly.\\nA man may be more likely to raise his eyebrows briefly to show he’s interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look for availability in their body language.\", \"描述\": \"Signs of availability include smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, and looking up or straight ahead.Unavailable or defensive postures include folding their arms across their chests, crossing their legs tightly, and looking down at their feet or even a cell phone.\\nHow a woman holds her purse is a great indication of availability. If she is holding her purse in front of her body or clutching it tightly against her side, she may subconsciously be trying to “hide” from you or place an obstacle between you and her. Holding her purse at her side or pushed towards her back are good signs that she’s open to you. If you are in a busy, crowded area, she may just be clutching her purse because she is afraid of getting it stolen or being pickpocketed, so pay attention to other signs of attraction as well.\\nA woman who is wearing a skirt may keep her legs crossed out of propriety while she is sitting and still be open to you. Turning her torso towards you is a good indication that she is open to being approached. She may also change her position from crossing her legs at the knees to crossing them at the ankles, which is another indication she may be attracted to you.\\nA man may stand with his hands on his hips or, if sitting, spread his legs further apart to widen his stance. Both of these gestures are indications he is attracted to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Notice if they are playing with their hair.\", \"描述\": \"A person who is attracted to you may start running their fingers through their hair. A woman with longer hair may flip her hair off her shoulder to expose her neck.\\n A man may either smooth out or mess up his hair to make his hairstyle more flattering and attractive.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to their feet.\", \"描述\": \"People instinctually point their feet towards someone they are attracted to. If the person has turned their feet to point at you, it’s a good indication that they are attracted to you, or at least very interested in you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Notice if they are wearing a wedding band.\", \"描述\": \"It is possible that a married person may be attracted to you and show signs of being interested in meeting you. However, if they are legally attached to someone else, they may not be interested in dating you or may be looking for someone to cheat on their spouse with. Only proceed in asking this person out if you are comfortable with this potential complication or are prepared for being turned down.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be confident. Many people find confidence attractive, because it shows that you are secure in your own identity.\\n\", \"Smile when approaching and talking to anyone you’re attracted to.\\n\", \"Don’t ignore someone’s phone calls. If you change your mind about wanting to date this person, answer the phone and tell them that you are no longer interested.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t ask someone on a date if it is obvious they are with a significant other. Asking someone out in front of that person’s boyfriend or girlfriend is aggressive and threatening, and it may lead to a physical fight.\\n\", \"If the person you are attracted to is having an intense conversation with a friend or if they are with their parents or other family members, you may consider that this might not be the best time to ask them out on a date.\\n\", \"No one is obligated to go out on a date with you, even if you were being nice and even if you bought the person a drink or some food. Feeling that someone must say yes just because you did everything “right” means that you feel entitled and maybe see that rejection of a date as a rejection of your own self-worth.[17]\\nX\\nTrustworthy Source\\nHarvard Business Review\\nOnline and print journal covering topics related to business management practices\\nGo to source\\n\\n Remember, that person’s turning you down may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with other things going on in that person’s life.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,531 | How to Ask a Deaf Person for a Date | 1. Finding the Best Way to Communicate
1-1. Find out if they can read lips.
If you have already talked to your crush, then you should know whether or not they can read lips. If you haven’t talked to your crush but see them around, watch how they communicate in social situations. If you notice that they can understand what people say without the use of sign language, then they can read lips.
Not all deaf people can read lips, so don’t assume they can if you don’t already know.
1-2. Find out if they use their voice.
Some people who are deaf read lips and speak aloud, especially if they are on the hard of hearing as opposed to profoundly deaf end of the spectrum. Watch how they communicate with hearing people who don’t know how to sign. Also know that just because they use sign language when talking to other deaf people, it doesn’t mean that they don’t speak when talking to hearing people.
1-3. Find out if they know sign language.
While most deaf people know ASL or another form of sign language, not all do. If you know sign language, it will be easier to communicate with your crush. See how they talk to their deaf friends. If you only see them in an environment with hearing people and want to know if they know sign language, you can ask mutual acquaintances.
If you don't know sign language, weigh the pros and cons of learning a couple phrases. Some could appreciate the gesture of learning, while others may feel that it's silly to learn these phrases if for the rest of your conversations you will have to communicate without sign language.
If you already know your crush, learning a couple phrases could be seen as sweet. If you don't, the gesture could be more confusing or off-putting.
For this reason, if you don't know sign language and are unsure of whether your crush would appreciate it, it may be best to communicate in a consistent way, either by writing or speaking.
1-4. See if they have an interpreter.
Your crush may have an interpreter, especially if he or she is a student in a primarily hearing class. If you usually see your crush with an interpreter, plan to ask them out with the interpreter's help.
When you speak through an interpreter, make sure to look at your crush while you are talking. Your crush is the person you are having the conversation with, and the interpreter is just there to translate. Looking at the interpreter instead of the person you are talking to is considered rude and it changes the dynamic of the conversation.
Keep in mind that the interpreter will not be going on the date with you two, so you will need to find another method of communication for when you are alone together.
1-5. Decide what the best way to communicate with them is.
If you already have talked to your crush, you will know how best to communicate. If you’ve never spoken to them before, think about what the best way would be for your individual situation.
For instance, if your crush reads lips and speaks, plan to talk with them face-on so that they can clearly read your lips.
If your crush reads lips and speaks sign language, plan on signing to them. If you don’t know sign language, plan to write down your message.
Also consider texting your crush if you have their number.
2. Asking Them on a Date
2-1. Introduce yourself.
Have a conversation with your crush before you ask them out. Depending on how your crush communicates for the most part, and whether or not you know sign language, talk to your crush either by speaking, writing down what you want to say, signing if you know sign language, or speaking through your crush's interpreter. You want to get comfortable talking to your crush before you ask them out.
Introduce yourself if you’ve never talked to your crush before. Either say, sign or write something like “Hi, I’ve seen you around a lot but I’ve never said hello. My name is Heather.”
If you have met your crush before, ask them how they have been or how their weekend was.
Make sure that if you are speaking to them, you are facing them so they can clearly see your lips. If you are writing, write clearly and legibly.
2-2. Make conversation about circumstances or interests you have in common.
Before you ask them out, get a conversation going. This will make both of you more comfortable, and make it more likely that they will say yes to going on the date.
For instance, if you are taking a class together, ask them about how they like the class.
If you work together, ask them what they do at the company.
Even if you are nervous, remember to smile! Your crush won’t be able to hear the tone of your voice, so you want to be sure to smile to show that you’re friendly and interested.
2-3. Ask them out.
The way you ask them out may depend on how friendly you already are with each other. If you only just met them, acknowledge that you don’t know each other very well, but say that you would like to get to know them. If you already know each other, ask your crush out to do something you know that they like.
If you have only just met them, say or write something like, “I know that that I only just met you, but you seem really cool and I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime.”
If you already know them, suggest something you know they might like. Say something like, “I know the other day you were talking about how you like old films. There’s actually a new movie theatre that shows films with subtitles that opened up downtown, do you want to go check it out?”
You don’t need to use the words “go on a date with me”, but you should make it clear that it will just be the two of you.
2-4. Understand that not all deaf people want to date hearing people.
If your crush does not want to go on a date with you, know that it probably isn’t a personal thing. A lot of deaf folks only want to date other deaf people because they are part of the same culture and have may be coming from a more similar place. Additionally, your crush may have experienced a lot of ignorance and discrimination from hearing people about their deafness, and want to be with someone that they don't have to explain deaf etiquette and culture to.
These reasons on top of communication barriers make many people who are deaf want to only date other deaf people.
3. Choosing a Date Activity
3-1. Ask your crush what they want to do.
If your crush agrees to the date, you should make plans about what you want to do! A great way to start making plans is to ask your crush what they would like to do. This takes the pressure off of you and it also ensures that your crush will have fun on the date!
3-2. Pick an activity that isn’t hands on.
If your crush doesn’t have ideas for what they want to do, try to stay away from activities that involve using your hands or where the two of you will be constantly moving. You will want to be directly next to or across from your crush to communicate with them, so stay away from physical activities like biking or swimming where your hands are occupied.
3-3. Go somewhere that's well-lit.
No matter how you and your crush communicate, you will need to be able to see each other clearly. Don’t go to a dark bar if you want to talk with your crush. Instead, go to somewhere well lit where the two of you can sit across from each other. A good place for this would be somewhere like a coffee shop.
3-4. Do an activity that is enjoyable for both of you.
This is important for any date activity, but it is especially important for a date with a deaf and a hearing person. Don’t go to a comedy show where they will not be able to understand the jokes, or a party where they don’t know anyone. Try to do something that you both can enjoy equally.
Even just getting dinner or coffee can be a good date activity.
3-5. Do an activity that accommodates the deaf community.
Find a space that is specifically welcoming to the deaf community. For example, go to a movie theater that shows movies with subtitles, or ask for closed captions receivers. Few public spaces specifically accommodate deaf folks, and choosing to go to one can be a good experience for both of you.
4. Being Considerate With Your Crush
4-1. Don’t shout.
When you are talking to your crush, do not shout. This will not help them understand you better, and if they are reading lips it may even make it harder to understand you. If they don’t understand what you said, repeat yourself clearly in a normal tone of voice. You also may talk a little slower if you are a fast talker, but not in an exaggeratedly slow way. It may also help if you make your lip movements more pronounced when talking (opening your mouth a little to make it bigger).
4-2. Don’t pretend to know sign language if you only know a few words.
Don’t try to make up sign language. Languages like ASL are extremely sophisticated and complex, so doing hand motions and throwing in a couple real words will make you look extremely ignorant. It’s ok if you don’t know sign language! Your crush won’t hold it against you.
4-3. Don’t avoid talking about their deafness.
Don’t go out of your way to avoid mentioning their deafness. Your crush’s deafness is a part of them just like their gender or their age.
Treating deafness like a sad or taboo subject might mean that you are not comfortable with their deafness. If this is true, you may want to reconsider whether you are ready to date them.
4-4. Don’t treat their deafness as a negative thing or an illness.
Never apologize for your crush’s deafness or say things like, “I’m sorry that you’re deaf”, or “You must be sad that you can’t hear things.” Many deaf people are proud to be deaf and don’t want to be “cured”. Being deaf is part of their identity and the deaf community is a strong and vibrant community to be a part of.
4-5. Always repeat yourself if they didn’t catch what you said.
If your crush didn’t understand what you said, always repeat yourself, even if it’s an unimportant comment. Don’t say “never mind” or “it’s not important.” This will make your crush feel excluded and snubbed.
You don’t have to change what words you used or “dumb it down”. In fact, repeating the same thing over again is preferable.
4-6. Don’t speak for your crush.
When you’re with your crush, don’t order for them at restaurants or tell others what they want. Doing this makes it seem like you don’t think your crush is capable of taking care of themselves, and it can come across as inconsiderate or even insulting. Unless your crush asks you to, don’t speak for them.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding the Best Way to Communicate\\n1-1. Find out if they can read lips.\\nIf you have already talked to your crush, then you should know whether or not they can read lips. If you haven’t talked to your crush but see them around, watch how they communicate in social situations. If you notice that they can understand what people say without the use of sign language, then they can read lips.\\nNot all deaf people can read lips, so don’t assume they can if you don’t already know.\\n1-2. Find out if they use their voice.\\nSome people who are deaf read lips and speak aloud, especially if they are on the hard of hearing as opposed to profoundly deaf end of the spectrum. Watch how they communicate with hearing people who don’t know how to sign. Also know that just because they use sign language when talking to other deaf people, it doesn’t mean that they don’t speak when talking to hearing people.\\n1-3. Find out if they know sign language.\\nWhile most deaf people know ASL or another form of sign language, not all do. If you know sign language, it will be easier to communicate with your crush. See how they talk to their deaf friends. If you only see them in an environment with hearing people and want to know if they know sign language, you can ask mutual acquaintances.\\nIf you don't know sign language, weigh the pros and cons of learning a couple phrases. Some could appreciate the gesture of learning, while others may feel that it's silly to learn these phrases if for the rest of your conversations you will have to communicate without sign language.\\nIf you already know your crush, learning a couple phrases could be seen as sweet. If you don't, the gesture could be more confusing or off-putting.\\nFor this reason, if you don't know sign language and are unsure of whether your crush would appreciate it, it may be best to communicate in a consistent way, either by writing or speaking.\\n1-4. See if they have an interpreter.\\nYour crush may have an interpreter, especially if he or she is a student in a primarily hearing class. If you usually see your crush with an interpreter, plan to ask them out with the interpreter's help.\\nWhen you speak through an interpreter, make sure to look at your crush while you are talking. Your crush is the person you are having the conversation with, and the interpreter is just there to translate. Looking at the interpreter instead of the person you are talking to is considered rude and it changes the dynamic of the conversation.\\nKeep in mind that the interpreter will not be going on the date with you two, so you will need to find another method of communication for when you are alone together.\\n1-5. Decide what the best way to communicate with them is.\\nIf you already have talked to your crush, you will know how best to communicate. If you’ve never spoken to them before, think about what the best way would be for your individual situation.\\nFor instance, if your crush reads lips and speaks, plan to talk with them face-on so that they can clearly read your lips.\\nIf your crush reads lips and speaks sign language, plan on signing to them. If you don’t know sign language, plan to write down your message.\\nAlso consider texting your crush if you have their number.\\n2. Asking Them on a Date\\n2-1. Introduce yourself.\\nHave a conversation with your crush before you ask them out. Depending on how your crush communicates for the most part, and whether or not you know sign language, talk to your crush either by speaking, writing down what you want to say, signing if you know sign language, or speaking through your crush's interpreter. You want to get comfortable talking to your crush before you ask them out.\\nIntroduce yourself if you’ve never talked to your crush before. Either say, sign or write something like “Hi, I’ve seen you around a lot but I’ve never said hello. My name is Heather.”\\nIf you have met your crush before, ask them how they have been or how their weekend was.\\nMake sure that if you are speaking to them, you are facing them so they can clearly see your lips. If you are writing, write clearly and legibly.\\n2-2. Make conversation about circumstances or interests you have in common.\\nBefore you ask them out, get a conversation going. This will make both of you more comfortable, and make it more likely that they will say yes to going on the date.\\nFor instance, if you are taking a class together, ask them about how they like the class.\\nIf you work together, ask them what they do at the company.\\nEven if you are nervous, remember to smile! Your crush won’t be able to hear the tone of your voice, so you want to be sure to smile to show that you’re friendly and interested.\\n2-3. Ask them out.\\nThe way you ask them out may depend on how friendly you already are with each other. If you only just met them, acknowledge that you don’t know each other very well, but say that you would like to get to know them. If you already know each other, ask your crush out to do something you know that they like.\\nIf you have only just met them, say or write something like, “I know that that I only just met you, but you seem really cool and I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime.”\\nIf you already know them, suggest something you know they might like. Say something like, “I know the other day you were talking about how you like old films. There’s actually a new movie theatre that shows films with subtitles that opened up downtown, do you want to go check it out?”\\nYou don’t need to use the words “go on a date with me”, but you should make it clear that it will just be the two of you.\\n2-4. Understand that not all deaf people want to date hearing people.\\nIf your crush does not want to go on a date with you, know that it probably isn’t a personal thing. A lot of deaf folks only want to date other deaf people because they are part of the same culture and have may be coming from a more similar place. Additionally, your crush may have experienced a lot of ignorance and discrimination from hearing people about their deafness, and want to be with someone that they don't have to explain deaf etiquette and culture to.\\nThese reasons on top of communication barriers make many people who are deaf want to only date other deaf people.\\n3. Choosing a Date Activity\\n3-1. Ask your crush what they want to do.\\nIf your crush agrees to the date, you should make plans about what you want to do! A great way to start making plans is to ask your crush what they would like to do. This takes the pressure off of you and it also ensures that your crush will have fun on the date!\\n3-2. Pick an activity that isn’t hands on.\\nIf your crush doesn’t have ideas for what they want to do, try to stay away from activities that involve using your hands or where the two of you will be constantly moving. You will want to be directly next to or across from your crush to communicate with them, so stay away from physical activities like biking or swimming where your hands are occupied.\\n3-3. Go somewhere that's well-lit.\\nNo matter how you and your crush communicate, you will need to be able to see each other clearly. Don’t go to a dark bar if you want to talk with your crush. Instead, go to somewhere well lit where the two of you can sit across from each other. A good place for this would be somewhere like a coffee shop.\\n3-4. Do an activity that is enjoyable for both of you.\\nThis is important for any date activity, but it is especially important for a date with a deaf and a hearing person. Don’t go to a comedy show where they will not be able to understand the jokes, or a party where they don’t know anyone. Try to do something that you both can enjoy equally.\\nEven just getting dinner or coffee can be a good date activity.\\n3-5. Do an activity that accommodates the deaf community.\\nFind a space that is specifically welcoming to the deaf community. For example, go to a movie theater that shows movies with subtitles, or ask for closed captions receivers. Few public spaces specifically accommodate deaf folks, and choosing to go to one can be a good experience for both of you.\\n4. Being Considerate With Your Crush\\n4-1. Don’t shout.\\nWhen you are talking to your crush, do not shout. This will not help them understand you better, and if they are reading lips it may even make it harder to understand you. If they don’t understand what you said, repeat yourself clearly in a normal tone of voice. You also may talk a little slower if you are a fast talker, but not in an exaggeratedly slow way. It may also help if you make your lip movements more pronounced when talking (opening your mouth a little to make it bigger).\\n4-2. Don’t pretend to know sign language if you only know a few words.\\nDon’t try to make up sign language. Languages like ASL are extremely sophisticated and complex, so doing hand motions and throwing in a couple real words will make you look extremely ignorant. It’s ok if you don’t know sign language! Your crush won’t hold it against you.\\n4-3. Don’t avoid talking about their deafness.\\nDon’t go out of your way to avoid mentioning their deafness. Your crush’s deafness is a part of them just like their gender or their age.\\nTreating deafness like a sad or taboo subject might mean that you are not comfortable with their deafness. If this is true, you may want to reconsider whether you are ready to date them.\\n4-4. Don’t treat their deafness as a negative thing or an illness.\\nNever apologize for your crush’s deafness or say things like, “I’m sorry that you’re deaf”, or “You must be sad that you can’t hear things.” Many deaf people are proud to be deaf and don’t want to be “cured”. Being deaf is part of their identity and the deaf community is a strong and vibrant community to be a part of.\\n4-5. Always repeat yourself if they didn’t catch what you said.\\nIf your crush didn’t understand what you said, always repeat yourself, even if it’s an unimportant comment. Don’t say “never mind” or “it’s not important.” This will make your crush feel excluded and snubbed.\\nYou don’t have to change what words you used or “dumb it down”. In fact, repeating the same thing over again is preferable.\\n4-6. Don’t speak for your crush.\\nWhen you’re with your crush, don’t order for them at restaurants or tell others what they want. Doing this makes it seem like you don’t think your crush is capable of taking care of themselves, and it can come across as inconsiderate or even insulting. Unless your crush asks you to, don’t speak for them.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve met an attractive and interesting deaf person through work or school, and want to ask them on a date. If you aren’t deaf yourself, it’s natural to think about what the best way to ask them would be. Many people outside the deaf community don’t realize that hearing ability is on a spectrum in the deaf community, and that folks who are deaf don’t all use the same forms of communication. Asking out a deaf person on a date involves finding the best way to talk to your crush, and also being respectful of their deafness and their identity.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding the Best Way to Communicate\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out if they can read lips.\", \"描述\": \"If you have already talked to your crush, then you should know whether or not they can read lips. If you haven’t talked to your crush but see them around, watch how they communicate in social situations. If you notice that they can understand what people say without the use of sign language, then they can read lips.\\nNot all deaf people can read lips, so don’t assume they can if you don’t already know.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find out if they use their voice.\", \"描述\": \"Some people who are deaf read lips and speak aloud, especially if they are on the hard of hearing as opposed to profoundly deaf end of the spectrum. Watch how they communicate with hearing people who don’t know how to sign. Also know that just because they use sign language when talking to other deaf people, it doesn’t mean that they don’t speak when talking to hearing people.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out if they know sign language.\", \"描述\": \"While most deaf people know ASL or another form of sign language, not all do. If you know sign language, it will be easier to communicate with your crush. See how they talk to their deaf friends. If you only see them in an environment with hearing people and want to know if they know sign language, you can ask mutual acquaintances.\\nIf you don't know sign language, weigh the pros and cons of learning a couple phrases. Some could appreciate the gesture of learning, while others may feel that it's silly to learn these phrases if for the rest of your conversations you will have to communicate without sign language.\\nIf you already know your crush, learning a couple phrases could be seen as sweet. If you don't, the gesture could be more confusing or off-putting.\\nFor this reason, if you don't know sign language and are unsure of whether your crush would appreciate it, it may be best to communicate in a consistent way, either by writing or speaking.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"See if they have an interpreter.\", \"描述\": \"Your crush may have an interpreter, especially if he or she is a student in a primarily hearing class. If you usually see your crush with an interpreter, plan to ask them out with the interpreter's help.\\nWhen you speak through an interpreter, make sure to look at your crush while you are talking. Your crush is the person you are having the conversation with, and the interpreter is just there to translate. Looking at the interpreter instead of the person you are talking to is considered rude and it changes the dynamic of the conversation.\\nKeep in mind that the interpreter will not be going on the date with you two, so you will need to find another method of communication for when you are alone together.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Decide what the best way to communicate with them is.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have talked to your crush, you will know how best to communicate. If you’ve never spoken to them before, think about what the best way would be for your individual situation.\\nFor instance, if your crush reads lips and speaks, plan to talk with them face-on so that they can clearly read your lips.\\nIf your crush reads lips and speaks sign language, plan on signing to them. If you don’t know sign language, plan to write down your message.\\nAlso consider texting your crush if you have their number.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Them on a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Have a conversation with your crush before you ask them out. Depending on how your crush communicates for the most part, and whether or not you know sign language, talk to your crush either by speaking, writing down what you want to say, signing if you know sign language, or speaking through your crush's interpreter. You want to get comfortable talking to your crush before you ask them out.\\nIntroduce yourself if you’ve never talked to your crush before. Either say, sign or write something like “Hi, I’ve seen you around a lot but I’ve never said hello. My name is Heather.”\\nIf you have met your crush before, ask them how they have been or how their weekend was.\\nMake sure that if you are speaking to them, you are facing them so they can clearly see your lips. If you are writing, write clearly and legibly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make conversation about circumstances or interests you have in common.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask them out, get a conversation going. This will make both of you more comfortable, and make it more likely that they will say yes to going on the date.\\nFor instance, if you are taking a class together, ask them about how they like the class.\\nIf you work together, ask them what they do at the company.\\nEven if you are nervous, remember to smile! Your crush won’t be able to hear the tone of your voice, so you want to be sure to smile to show that you’re friendly and interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask them out.\", \"描述\": \"The way you ask them out may depend on how friendly you already are with each other. If you only just met them, acknowledge that you don’t know each other very well, but say that you would like to get to know them. If you already know each other, ask your crush out to do something you know that they like.\\nIf you have only just met them, say or write something like, “I know that that I only just met you, but you seem really cool and I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee sometime.”\\nIf you already know them, suggest something you know they might like. Say something like, “I know the other day you were talking about how you like old films. There’s actually a new movie theatre that shows films with subtitles that opened up downtown, do you want to go check it out?”\\nYou don’t need to use the words “go on a date with me”, but you should make it clear that it will just be the two of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Understand that not all deaf people want to date hearing people.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush does not want to go on a date with you, know that it probably isn’t a personal thing. A lot of deaf folks only want to date other deaf people because they are part of the same culture and have may be coming from a more similar place. Additionally, your crush may have experienced a lot of ignorance and discrimination from hearing people about their deafness, and want to be with someone that they don't have to explain deaf etiquette and culture to.\\nThese reasons on top of communication barriers make many people who are deaf want to only date other deaf people.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Date Activity\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your crush what they want to do.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush agrees to the date, you should make plans about what you want to do! A great way to start making plans is to ask your crush what they would like to do. This takes the pressure off of you and it also ensures that your crush will have fun on the date!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick an activity that isn’t hands on.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush doesn’t have ideas for what they want to do, try to stay away from activities that involve using your hands or where the two of you will be constantly moving. You will want to be directly next to or across from your crush to communicate with them, so stay away from physical activities like biking or swimming where your hands are occupied.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go somewhere that's well-lit.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how you and your crush communicate, you will need to be able to see each other clearly. Don’t go to a dark bar if you want to talk with your crush. Instead, go to somewhere well lit where the two of you can sit across from each other. A good place for this would be somewhere like a coffee shop.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Do an activity that is enjoyable for both of you.\", \"描述\": \"This is important for any date activity, but it is especially important for a date with a deaf and a hearing person. Don’t go to a comedy show where they will not be able to understand the jokes, or a party where they don’t know anyone. Try to do something that you both can enjoy equally.\\nEven just getting dinner or coffee can be a good date activity.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Do an activity that accommodates the deaf community.\", \"描述\": \"Find a space that is specifically welcoming to the deaf community. For example, go to a movie theater that shows movies with subtitles, or ask for closed captions receivers. Few public spaces specifically accommodate deaf folks, and choosing to go to one can be a good experience for both of you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Being Considerate With Your Crush\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t shout.\", \"描述\": \"When you are talking to your crush, do not shout. This will not help them understand you better, and if they are reading lips it may even make it harder to understand you. If they don’t understand what you said, repeat yourself clearly in a normal tone of voice. You also may talk a little slower if you are a fast talker, but not in an exaggeratedly slow way. It may also help if you make your lip movements more pronounced when talking (opening your mouth a little to make it bigger).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Don’t pretend to know sign language if you only know a few words.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to make up sign language. Languages like ASL are extremely sophisticated and complex, so doing hand motions and throwing in a couple real words will make you look extremely ignorant. It’s ok if you don’t know sign language! Your crush won’t hold it against you.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t avoid talking about their deafness.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t go out of your way to avoid mentioning their deafness. Your crush’s deafness is a part of them just like their gender or their age.\\nTreating deafness like a sad or taboo subject might mean that you are not comfortable with their deafness. If this is true, you may want to reconsider whether you are ready to date them.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t treat their deafness as a negative thing or an illness.\", \"描述\": \"Never apologize for your crush’s deafness or say things like, “I’m sorry that you’re deaf”, or “You must be sad that you can’t hear things.” Many deaf people are proud to be deaf and don’t want to be “cured”. Being deaf is part of their identity and the deaf community is a strong and vibrant community to be a part of.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Always repeat yourself if they didn’t catch what you said.\", \"描述\": \"If your crush didn’t understand what you said, always repeat yourself, even if it’s an unimportant comment. Don’t say “never mind” or “it’s not important.” This will make your crush feel excluded and snubbed.\\nYou don’t have to change what words you used or “dumb it down”. In fact, repeating the same thing over again is preferable.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t speak for your crush.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re with your crush, don’t order for them at restaurants or tell others what they want. Doing this makes it seem like you don’t think your crush is capable of taking care of themselves, and it can come across as inconsiderate or even insulting. Unless your crush asks you to, don’t speak for them.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,532 | How to Ask a Female Friend out on a Date | 1. Gauging Her Interest
1-1. Watch her body language to see if she likes you more than friends.
Observe how she acts when you're hanging out with her. Try to get some one-on-one time with her to see how she reacts to you. Watch for the following signs that she likes you:
She makes prolonged eye contact with you.
She casually touches you more than your other friends.
She mirrors your body language when you’re together.
She leans toward you when you’re talking to each other.
She removes barriers, like pillows or armrests, from between you.
1-2. Compliment her outfit or accomplishments and see how she reacts.
A casual compliment can be easily brushed off as a friendly gesture if she’s not into you, so it’s a fairly safe way to test the attraction between you. If she likes you back, she may act excited about your compliment or could flirt with you a bit. Check out her outfit or talk to her about what’s going on in her life. Then, give her a nice compliment.
You might say, “That’s a great top!” “You’re so funny!” “Wow! Congrats on the promotion!” or “Let’s do karaoke this weekend. You have a great voice!”
A positive reaction might be a big smile, blushing in her cheeks, or a returned compliment. If she looks down or brushes you off, it's possible she's not into you.
Try to sift through any light-hearted but meaningless back and forths to get a gauge on what activities she's interested in too, for potential date ideas.
It’s best to avoid talking about her physical features, such as her body type. If she’s not into you, this can make her uncomfortable.
1-3. Ask your mutual friends what they think.
Talking to your friends can be risky, as one of them could blab to your friend that you like her. Pick a friend or 2 who you trust to keep your secret. Find out if they think she’ll say “yes” and if they have any suggestions for impressing her.
You could say, “Hey, do you know if Molly has any crushes right now? Do you think she might be into me?” or “I’m thinking about asking Molly out. Do you think she’ll say yes? What should I ask her to do?”
1-4. Bring up the topic of dating in a hypothetical way to see how she reacts.
Ask her what she thinks about you two as a couple. This might take some nerves because she’ll probably realize that you’re into her. However, you’ll be able to easily gauge her interest in you once you know her answer, so be brave!
You might ask something like, “Have you ever thought of us dating?” or “Do you think we'd make a good couple?”
1-5. Be sure about your feelings for her before you ask.
Dating your friend can put you on the fast track to a great relationship. On the other hand, you might lose a friend if you have a messy breakup. Only ask her out if you’re confident your feelings for her are real.
Consider how often you get interested in other people. If you have a lot of crushes, it might be best to hold off on asking. But if you think she’s the one for you, it’s time to ask for that date!
2. Inviting Her on a Date
2-1. Wait until a private, calm moment to ask.
You’re probably eager to start planning your date, so you’re likely already searching for the perfect moment. Make sure she’s single and ready to date before you ask. Then, pick a time when you two are alone and relaxed so she can focus on you. If you decide to ask in a text, make sure she’s hanging around at home when you ask so she won’t be stressed or distracted.
For instance, you might ask her while you’re hanging out after school or during a study session.
She might get nervous if other people are around. Similarly, she may not respond right away if she’s busy, which can make you feel super nervous.
2-2. Dress your best to ask her out in person.
You don’t need to wear a suit or fancy dress to ask her out. Instead, pick an outfit that makes you feel and look your best. Since you’re friends, she’ll likely notice that you took a little extra time on your appearance that day.
Don’t worry about pretending to be someone you’re not. Wear your regular clothes, but pick your nicest outfit.
2-3. Ask in a text if you’re too nervous to ask in person.
Asking someone out is always super hard, but you might be extra anxious since she’s your friend. It’s totally okay if you don’t want to ask her out in person. Instead, ask from behind the safety of your screen.
Message her something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed a special connection between us. I was hoping you’d be open to going on a date with me. How about roller skating next Friday?” or “You’re a great friend, but I think you’d make an even better girlfriend. I’d like to take you on a dinner date this weekend. Are you in?”
If she's really into vegan food, you could say something like "There's this eally cool vegan restaurant that just opened up on Abbot Kinney, I'd love to take you there, would you like to go on Friday night, seven o'clock? "
2-4. Tell her that you're asking her on a date.
Since she’s already your friend, she may mistake you asking her out as a friendly meetup. Make sure you tell her specifically that you’re asking her on a date. This way you won’t have any accidental misunderstandings.
Don’t say, “Want to hang out this weekend?” or “Hey, that band we both like is playing Tuesday. Want to go together?” This sends “friend” signals. Instead, say, “Will you be my date to the concert this weekend?”
Women appreciate when men are bold and clear, so avoid half-baked questions that could be interpreted platonically like "Hey, do you feel like hanging out?"
2-5. Give her an easy out so she doesn’t feel pressured.
Hopefully, she’ll be just as into you and will say “yes.” Just in case she’d rather stay friends, tell her you value her friendship over everything and make it clear you’ll be okay if she says “no.” If she’s not ready to take things to the next level, you’ll still be able to continue your friendship.
You might say, “There’s no pressure. You’re a great friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”
She might be worried about your friendship, so tell her that you enjoy being her friend and that you want to stay friends no matter what.
2-6. Accept a “no” with respect so your friendship can continue.
She may not be ready for a relationship with you right now, and that’s okay. Try not to take it as a rejection. Obviously she likes and cares about you because you’re friends, so focus on that. Tell her that you understand and still want to be her friend.
You might say, “No worries. I hope this won’t make things weird between us,” or “I totally understand. I’m just happy to be your friend.”
If she seems upset or pulls away from you, go ahead and give her space. You might text her something like, "I'm sorry I made things weird. I'm going to give you some space, but I hope we can be friends again. When you're ready to hang out again, please reach out."
3. Planning a Fun First Date
3-1. Ask her to get coffee, dinner, or dessert for a traditional first date.
You don’t have to plan anything crazy for your first date. Take the pressure off and stick with the classics. Buy her coffee and chat at a local coffee house, or go to a restaurant you both love. You could also go out for ice cream, frozen yogurt, or baked treats.
Going on a traditional date might help you both feel like you’re on a “real” date and not just hanging out as friends.
3-2. Enjoy a picnic in the park if you're both into nature.
A picnic can be really romantic and sweet, so it’s a perfect first date. Pack a basket or tote bag with foods you can eat on the go. Additionally, bring a bottle of water, lemonade, or wine. In the park, lay out a blanket or sit at a picnic table.
You could also have a picnic in your backyard if that’s easier.
3-3. Play board games together for a fun, interactive date.
You can play board games anywhere, so this is a really flexible date idea. Plan a game night at home or take your games to the park or a cafe. You might even go to a board game coffee or tea shop.
Some popular 2-player games include Scrabble, Yahtzee, Codenames: Duet, Ticket to Ride, Pandemic, Hive, In a Pickle, and Archaeology: The New Expedition.
3-4. Visit a museum and chat about the exhibits if she's into art or learning.
Museums are a great date idea because they give you something to discuss. You guys already know each other, so you may struggle to figure out what to talk about at first. Look up the hours and ticket prices for your local art, science, or historical museum.
Pick the museum you think she’ll like best. You could also just ask her, “Hey, would you rather go to the art museum or the science museum?”
3-5. Get tickets to a performance or event and offer her the extra one.
You might go this route if you want an easier way to ask her out. Buy tickets to an event you really want to attend that you think she’d enjoy, too. For instance, you could get concert tickets, sports tickets, movie tickets, or festival tickets. Then, tell her you have 2 tickets and would love to have her as your date.
Say, “I got 2 tickets for that concert we were talking about. I was hoping you’d be my date.”
You could also get tickets to a sports event, movie, or something similar.
3-6. Plan a creative date if you're both artsy types.
Choose a creative activity that you both enjoy. Don't just limit yourself to art events. You can also make something together. Here are some ideas you might try:
Attend an art opening if you like visual art.
Go to karaoke if you both enjoy music.
Attend a poetry reading if you’re writers or enjoy performance art.
Go to a one-night art class at a local studio if you both enjoy painting.
Tips
Since you’re friends, you probably already know her really well. Plan a date around her interests and the things she likes.[22]
X
Expert Source
Imad JbaraDating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
Be prepared for things to be awkward in the beginning. It’s totally normal for friends to feel weird about taking things to the next level at first, but it’ll feel normal in time.[23]
X
Research source
Be brave! You’re more likely to regret not asking.[24]
X
Research source
Warnings
Be prepared for rejection. Just remember it happens to everyone, and she probably feels bad about turning you down.
Never lead her on. Tactfully tell her right away if you find you are no longer interested in her. If you do lead her on, girls are pretty good about guessing. It will not go smoothly if she does find out that you were leading her on (and odds are that she will).[26]
X
Expert Source
Lisa ShieldDating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gauging Her Interest\\n1-1. Watch her body language to see if she likes you more than friends.\\nObserve how she acts when you're hanging out with her. Try to get some one-on-one time with her to see how she reacts to you. Watch for the following signs that she likes you:\\nShe makes prolonged eye contact with you.\\nShe casually touches you more than your other friends.\\nShe mirrors your body language when you’re together.\\nShe leans toward you when you’re talking to each other.\\nShe removes barriers, like pillows or armrests, from between you.\\n1-2. Compliment her outfit or accomplishments and see how she reacts.\\nA casual compliment can be easily brushed off as a friendly gesture if she’s not into you, so it’s a fairly safe way to test the attraction between you. If she likes you back, she may act excited about your compliment or could flirt with you a bit. Check out her outfit or talk to her about what’s going on in her life. Then, give her a nice compliment.\\nYou might say, “That’s a great top!” “You’re so funny!” “Wow! Congrats on the promotion!” or “Let’s do karaoke this weekend. You have a great voice!”\\nA positive reaction might be a big smile, blushing in her cheeks, or a returned compliment. If she looks down or brushes you off, it's possible she's not into you.\\nTry to sift through any light-hearted but meaningless back and forths to get a gauge on what activities she's interested in too, for potential date ideas.\\nIt’s best to avoid talking about her physical features, such as her body type. If she’s not into you, this can make her uncomfortable.\\n1-3. Ask your mutual friends what they think.\\nTalking to your friends can be risky, as one of them could blab to your friend that you like her. Pick a friend or 2 who you trust to keep your secret. Find out if they think she’ll say “yes” and if they have any suggestions for impressing her.\\nYou could say, “Hey, do you know if Molly has any crushes right now? Do you think she might be into me?” or “I’m thinking about asking Molly out. Do you think she’ll say yes? What should I ask her to do?”\\n1-4. Bring up the topic of dating in a hypothetical way to see how she reacts.\\nAsk her what she thinks about you two as a couple. This might take some nerves because she’ll probably realize that you’re into her. However, you’ll be able to easily gauge her interest in you once you know her answer, so be brave!\\nYou might ask something like, “Have you ever thought of us dating?” or “Do you think we'd make a good couple?”\\n1-5. Be sure about your feelings for her before you ask.\\nDating your friend can put you on the fast track to a great relationship. On the other hand, you might lose a friend if you have a messy breakup. Only ask her out if you’re confident your feelings for her are real.\\nConsider how often you get interested in other people. If you have a lot of crushes, it might be best to hold off on asking. But if you think she’s the one for you, it’s time to ask for that date!\\n2. Inviting Her on a Date\\n2-1. Wait until a private, calm moment to ask.\\nYou’re probably eager to start planning your date, so you’re likely already searching for the perfect moment. Make sure she’s single and ready to date before you ask. Then, pick a time when you two are alone and relaxed so she can focus on you. If you decide to ask in a text, make sure she’s hanging around at home when you ask so she won’t be stressed or distracted.\\nFor instance, you might ask her while you’re hanging out after school or during a study session.\\nShe might get nervous if other people are around. Similarly, she may not respond right away if she’s busy, which can make you feel super nervous.\\n2-2. Dress your best to ask her out in person.\\nYou don’t need to wear a suit or fancy dress to ask her out. Instead, pick an outfit that makes you feel and look your best. Since you’re friends, she’ll likely notice that you took a little extra time on your appearance that day.\\nDon’t worry about pretending to be someone you’re not. Wear your regular clothes, but pick your nicest outfit.\\n2-3. Ask in a text if you’re too nervous to ask in person.\\nAsking someone out is always super hard, but you might be extra anxious since she’s your friend. It’s totally okay if you don’t want to ask her out in person. Instead, ask from behind the safety of your screen.\\nMessage her something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed a special connection between us. I was hoping you’d be open to going on a date with me. How about roller skating next Friday?” or “You’re a great friend, but I think you’d make an even better girlfriend. I’d like to take you on a dinner date this weekend. Are you in?”\\nIf she's really into vegan food, you could say something like \\\"There's this eally cool vegan restaurant that just opened up on Abbot Kinney, I'd love to take you there, would you like to go on Friday night, seven o'clock? \\\"\\n2-4. Tell her that you're asking her on a date.\\nSince she’s already your friend, she may mistake you asking her out as a friendly meetup. Make sure you tell her specifically that you’re asking her on a date. This way you won’t have any accidental misunderstandings.\\nDon’t say, “Want to hang out this weekend?” or “Hey, that band we both like is playing Tuesday. Want to go together?” This sends “friend” signals. Instead, say, “Will you be my date to the concert this weekend?”\\nWomen appreciate when men are bold and clear, so avoid half-baked questions that could be interpreted platonically like \\\"Hey, do you feel like hanging out?\\\"\\n2-5. Give her an easy out so she doesn’t feel pressured.\\nHopefully, she’ll be just as into you and will say “yes.” Just in case she’d rather stay friends, tell her you value her friendship over everything and make it clear you’ll be okay if she says “no.” If she’s not ready to take things to the next level, you’ll still be able to continue your friendship.\\nYou might say, “There’s no pressure. You’re a great friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”\\nShe might be worried about your friendship, so tell her that you enjoy being her friend and that you want to stay friends no matter what.\\n2-6. Accept a “no” with respect so your friendship can continue.\\nShe may not be ready for a relationship with you right now, and that’s okay. Try not to take it as a rejection. Obviously she likes and cares about you because you’re friends, so focus on that. Tell her that you understand and still want to be her friend.\\nYou might say, “No worries. I hope this won’t make things weird between us,” or “I totally understand. I’m just happy to be your friend.”\\nIf she seems upset or pulls away from you, go ahead and give her space. You might text her something like, \\\"I'm sorry I made things weird. I'm going to give you some space, but I hope we can be friends again. When you're ready to hang out again, please reach out.\\\"\\n3. Planning a Fun First Date\\n3-1. Ask her to get coffee, dinner, or dessert for a traditional first date.\\nYou don’t have to plan anything crazy for your first date. Take the pressure off and stick with the classics. Buy her coffee and chat at a local coffee house, or go to a restaurant you both love. You could also go out for ice cream, frozen yogurt, or baked treats.\\nGoing on a traditional date might help you both feel like you’re on a “real” date and not just hanging out as friends.\\n3-2. Enjoy a picnic in the park if you're both into nature.\\nA picnic can be really romantic and sweet, so it’s a perfect first date. Pack a basket or tote bag with foods you can eat on the go. Additionally, bring a bottle of water, lemonade, or wine. In the park, lay out a blanket or sit at a picnic table.\\nYou could also have a picnic in your backyard if that’s easier.\\n3-3. Play board games together for a fun, interactive date.\\nYou can play board games anywhere, so this is a really flexible date idea. Plan a game night at home or take your games to the park or a cafe. You might even go to a board game coffee or tea shop.\\nSome popular 2-player games include Scrabble, Yahtzee, Codenames: Duet, Ticket to Ride, Pandemic, Hive, In a Pickle, and Archaeology: The New Expedition.\\n3-4. Visit a museum and chat about the exhibits if she's into art or learning.\\nMuseums are a great date idea because they give you something to discuss. You guys already know each other, so you may struggle to figure out what to talk about at first. Look up the hours and ticket prices for your local art, science, or historical museum.\\nPick the museum you think she’ll like best. You could also just ask her, “Hey, would you rather go to the art museum or the science museum?”\\n3-5. Get tickets to a performance or event and offer her the extra one.\\nYou might go this route if you want an easier way to ask her out. Buy tickets to an event you really want to attend that you think she’d enjoy, too. For instance, you could get concert tickets, sports tickets, movie tickets, or festival tickets. Then, tell her you have 2 tickets and would love to have her as your date.\\nSay, “I got 2 tickets for that concert we were talking about. I was hoping you’d be my date.”\\nYou could also get tickets to a sports event, movie, or something similar.\\n3-6. Plan a creative date if you're both artsy types.\\nChoose a creative activity that you both enjoy. Don't just limit yourself to art events. You can also make something together. Here are some ideas you might try:\\nAttend an art opening if you like visual art.\\nGo to karaoke if you both enjoy music.\\nAttend a poetry reading if you’re writers or enjoy performance art.\\nGo to a one-night art class at a local studio if you both enjoy painting.\\nTips\\nSince you’re friends, you probably already know her really well. Plan a date around her interests and the things she likes.[22]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nImad JbaraDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.\\nBe prepared for things to be awkward in the beginning. It’s totally normal for friends to feel weird about taking things to the next level at first, but it’ll feel normal in time.[23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nBe brave! You’re more likely to regret not asking.[24]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nWarnings\\nBe prepared for rejection. Just remember it happens to everyone, and she probably feels bad about turning you down.\\nNever lead her on. Tactfully tell her right away if you find you are no longer interested in her. If you do lead her on, girls are pretty good about guessing. It will not go smoothly if she does find out that you were leading her on (and odds are that she will).[26]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLisa ShieldDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 13 December 2018.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Crushing on your friend is both exhilarating and stressful. You probably get to spend a lot of time with her, but you’re tired of being “just friends.” Fortunately, your friendship with her could give you an advantage when it comes to asking her out. Hopefully, she’ll realize how perfect you could be together!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gauging Her Interest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch her body language to see if she likes you more than friends.\", \"描述\": \"Observe how she acts when you're hanging out with her. Try to get some one-on-one time with her to see how she reacts to you. Watch for the following signs that she likes you:\\nShe makes prolonged eye contact with you.\\nShe casually touches you more than your other friends.\\nShe mirrors your body language when you’re together.\\nShe leans toward you when you’re talking to each other.\\nShe removes barriers, like pillows or armrests, from between you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Compliment her outfit or accomplishments and see how she reacts.\", \"描述\": \"A casual compliment can be easily brushed off as a friendly gesture if she’s not into you, so it’s a fairly safe way to test the attraction between you. If she likes you back, she may act excited about your compliment or could flirt with you a bit. Check out her outfit or talk to her about what’s going on in her life. Then, give her a nice compliment.\\nYou might say, “That’s a great top!” “You’re so funny!” “Wow! Congrats on the promotion!” or “Let’s do karaoke this weekend. You have a great voice!”\\nA positive reaction might be a big smile, blushing in her cheeks, or a returned compliment. If she looks down or brushes you off, it's possible she's not into you.\\nTry to sift through any light-hearted but meaningless back and forths to get a gauge on what activities she's interested in too, for potential date ideas.\\nIt’s best to avoid talking about her physical features, such as her body type. If she’s not into you, this can make her uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your mutual friends what they think.\", \"描述\": \"Talking to your friends can be risky, as one of them could blab to your friend that you like her. Pick a friend or 2 who you trust to keep your secret. Find out if they think she’ll say “yes” and if they have any suggestions for impressing her.\\nYou could say, “Hey, do you know if Molly has any crushes right now? Do you think she might be into me?” or “I’m thinking about asking Molly out. Do you think she’ll say yes? What should I ask her to do?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Bring up the topic of dating in a hypothetical way to see how she reacts.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her what she thinks about you two as a couple. This might take some nerves because she’ll probably realize that you’re into her. However, you’ll be able to easily gauge her interest in you once you know her answer, so be brave!\\nYou might ask something like, “Have you ever thought of us dating?” or “Do you think we'd make a good couple?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be sure about your feelings for her before you ask.\", \"描述\": \"Dating your friend can put you on the fast track to a great relationship. On the other hand, you might lose a friend if you have a messy breakup. Only ask her out if you’re confident your feelings for her are real.\\nConsider how often you get interested in other people. If you have a lot of crushes, it might be best to hold off on asking. But if you think she’s the one for you, it’s time to ask for that date!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Inviting Her on a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait until a private, calm moment to ask.\", \"描述\": \"You’re probably eager to start planning your date, so you’re likely already searching for the perfect moment. Make sure she’s single and ready to date before you ask. Then, pick a time when you two are alone and relaxed so she can focus on you. If you decide to ask in a text, make sure she’s hanging around at home when you ask so she won’t be stressed or distracted.\\nFor instance, you might ask her while you’re hanging out after school or during a study session.\\nShe might get nervous if other people are around. Similarly, she may not respond right away if she’s busy, which can make you feel super nervous.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress your best to ask her out in person.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t need to wear a suit or fancy dress to ask her out. Instead, pick an outfit that makes you feel and look your best. Since you’re friends, she’ll likely notice that you took a little extra time on your appearance that day.\\nDon’t worry about pretending to be someone you’re not. Wear your regular clothes, but pick your nicest outfit.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask in a text if you’re too nervous to ask in person.\", \"描述\": \"Asking someone out is always super hard, but you might be extra anxious since she’s your friend. It’s totally okay if you don’t want to ask her out in person. Instead, ask from behind the safety of your screen.\\nMessage her something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed a special connection between us. I was hoping you’d be open to going on a date with me. How about roller skating next Friday?” or “You’re a great friend, but I think you’d make an even better girlfriend. I’d like to take you on a dinner date this weekend. Are you in?”\\nIf she's really into vegan food, you could say something like \\\"There's this eally cool vegan restaurant that just opened up on Abbot Kinney, I'd love to take you there, would you like to go on Friday night, seven o'clock? \\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell her that you're asking her on a date.\", \"描述\": \"Since she’s already your friend, she may mistake you asking her out as a friendly meetup. Make sure you tell her specifically that you’re asking her on a date. This way you won’t have any accidental misunderstandings.\\nDon’t say, “Want to hang out this weekend?” or “Hey, that band we both like is playing Tuesday. Want to go together?” This sends “friend” signals. Instead, say, “Will you be my date to the concert this weekend?”\\nWomen appreciate when men are bold and clear, so avoid half-baked questions that could be interpreted platonically like \\\"Hey, do you feel like hanging out?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give her an easy out so she doesn’t feel pressured.\", \"描述\": \"Hopefully, she’ll be just as into you and will say “yes.” Just in case she’d rather stay friends, tell her you value her friendship over everything and make it clear you’ll be okay if she says “no.” If she’s not ready to take things to the next level, you’ll still be able to continue your friendship.\\nYou might say, “There’s no pressure. You’re a great friend, and I don’t want to lose you.”\\nShe might be worried about your friendship, so tell her that you enjoy being her friend and that you want to stay friends no matter what.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accept a “no” with respect so your friendship can continue.\", \"描述\": \"She may not be ready for a relationship with you right now, and that’s okay. Try not to take it as a rejection. Obviously she likes and cares about you because you’re friends, so focus on that. Tell her that you understand and still want to be her friend.\\nYou might say, “No worries. I hope this won’t make things weird between us,” or “I totally understand. I’m just happy to be your friend.”\\nIf she seems upset or pulls away from you, go ahead and give her space. You might text her something like, \\\"I'm sorry I made things weird. I'm going to give you some space, but I hope we can be friends again. When you're ready to hang out again, please reach out.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Planning a Fun First Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her to get coffee, dinner, or dessert for a traditional first date.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to plan anything crazy for your first date. Take the pressure off and stick with the classics. Buy her coffee and chat at a local coffee house, or go to a restaurant you both love. You could also go out for ice cream, frozen yogurt, or baked treats.\\nGoing on a traditional date might help you both feel like you’re on a “real” date and not just hanging out as friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoy a picnic in the park if you're both into nature.\", \"描述\": \"A picnic can be really romantic and sweet, so it’s a perfect first date. Pack a basket or tote bag with foods you can eat on the go. Additionally, bring a bottle of water, lemonade, or wine. In the park, lay out a blanket or sit at a picnic table.\\nYou could also have a picnic in your backyard if that’s easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Play board games together for a fun, interactive date.\", \"描述\": \"You can play board games anywhere, so this is a really flexible date idea. Plan a game night at home or take your games to the park or a cafe. You might even go to a board game coffee or tea shop.\\nSome popular 2-player games include Scrabble, Yahtzee, Codenames: Duet, Ticket to Ride, Pandemic, Hive, In a Pickle, and Archaeology: The New Expedition.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Visit a museum and chat about the exhibits if she's into art or learning.\", \"描述\": \"Museums are a great date idea because they give you something to discuss. You guys already know each other, so you may struggle to figure out what to talk about at first. Look up the hours and ticket prices for your local art, science, or historical museum.\\nPick the museum you think she’ll like best. You could also just ask her, “Hey, would you rather go to the art museum or the science museum?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get tickets to a performance or event and offer her the extra one.\", \"描述\": \"You might go this route if you want an easier way to ask her out. Buy tickets to an event you really want to attend that you think she’d enjoy, too. For instance, you could get concert tickets, sports tickets, movie tickets, or festival tickets. Then, tell her you have 2 tickets and would love to have her as your date.\\nSay, “I got 2 tickets for that concert we were talking about. I was hoping you’d be my date.”\\nYou could also get tickets to a sports event, movie, or something similar.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Plan a creative date if you're both artsy types.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a creative activity that you both enjoy. Don't just limit yourself to art events. You can also make something together. Here are some ideas you might try:\\nAttend an art opening if you like visual art.\\nGo to karaoke if you both enjoy music.\\nAttend a poetry reading if you’re writers or enjoy performance art.\\nGo to a one-night art class at a local studio if you both enjoy painting.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Since you’re friends, you probably already know her really well. Plan a date around her interests and the things she likes.[22]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nImad JbaraDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.\\n\", \"Be prepared for things to be awkward in the beginning. It’s totally normal for friends to feel weird about taking things to the next level at first, but it’ll feel normal in time.[23]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Be brave! You’re more likely to regret not asking.[24]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Be prepared for rejection. Just remember it happens to everyone, and she probably feels bad about turning you down.\\n\", \"Never lead her on. Tactfully tell her right away if you find you are no longer interested in her. If you do lead her on, girls are pretty good about guessing. It will not go smoothly if she does find out that you were leading her on (and odds are that she will).[26]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLisa ShieldDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 13 December 2018.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,533 | How Do You Ask a Foreign Girl Out? 9 Tips to Show Interest and Respect | 1. Do some research on dating and cultural practices.
Her country might have different approaches or expectations.
For instance, in a lot of the Western world, you could confidently approach her and directly ask her out for dinner or drinks. However, in some cultures, it might be common practice to talk with her friends and indirectly ask her out. Doing some digging ahead of time is also a great way to learn about potential date ideas.
You might do web searches for the country she's from along with the phrase "common dating practices." This will give you advice tailored to where she's from. If you make her comfortable when you ask her out, she might be more likely to say yes.
For instance, you might learn that in her culture, people usually date in a community setting. This might mean going to concerts, volunteering, or going to sporting events together.
2. Work on your language skills.
Try to speak a few sentences in her native language.
This is not only charming, it shows that you've put effort into asking her out. Pick a few sentences to really learn like, "Hi, My name is Alex. I'd love to take you out for coffee sometime."
If you're feeling really confident with your language skills, you could choose a flirty line or two.
Another trick you can try is to ask her to teach you how to say something. For instance, say, "How do you say, 'Let's go out for a drink?'"
3. Strike up a conversation about her culture.
Show interest in where she's from and ask questions to learn more.
Not sure how to start talking to her? Asking basic questions about her country is a great place to start! This shows you're interested in what makes her unique and it gives her a chance to open up to you. You may say something like, "What do people do on dates in your country?"
Try to avoid asking about the politics or religion of her country. Instead, stick with light subjects like what her country's known for, local cuisines, and popular music.
4. Let her know you're interested in her.
You can be as direct or flirtatious as you like.
Flirting comes naturally to some people, but if there's a language barrier, it might be harder to get your point across. You can try to flirt or just tell her that you like her.
For instance, say, "I don't know how you say it in Spanish, but you captivate me. I'd like to get to know you better," or, "I've never dated a Greek girl, but I'd love to have the chance!"
For a simple, direct approach, try, "My French is poor, but I'd like to ask you out on a date."
5. Approach her when she's by herself.
Talk to her one-on-one instead of in a group so it's more personal.
Since a date is a personal thing, it's better to ask her out when she's alone and not hanging out with a bunch of friends. This also reduces pressure on her to either accept or turn you down.
If she's with a group of friends, you may need to wait for your chance or ask one of her friends to point her in your direction so you can talk.
6. Have a specific date in mind.
Offer to take her out for coffee, a drink, or dessert.
You could really ask her out for any activity—the point is to have a plan in mind when you ask her. She may not be as excited if you ask her to just hang out with you sometime. Saying, "Would you like to go out for tea this weekend?" shows her that you've given it some thought and you're taking steps to make the date happen.
If you're worried there's a bit of a language barrier, learn a few key words in her language. You might learn "date," "drinks," or "coffee," for instance.
Skip the standard dinner and a movie date since this doesn't give you many opportunities for talking to her and it's a long time commitment if things aren't working out.
7. Try a double date if you have friends in common.
Going out with a few friends could make you both more comfortable.
Sometimes, asking a girl out can seem a lot easier if you've got a wingman or wingwoman who can help you out. Approach the girl and tell her that a few of your friends are going to grab dinner or see a band and ask her if she'd like to be your date. This can take some of the pressure off of you both so you can see if you like spending time with one another.
For example, say, "A few of my friends are going to this club later. Do you want to join me?"
Don't have any friends willing to double date along with you? No worries! Ask the girl out to a party so you're both hanging out in a group. If things are working out, you could ask her if she wants to leave and go out for dessert, for instance.
8. Use a translation app, gestures, or flowers to ask her out.
Get creative to effectively communicate if you don't speak the same language.
The translate feature on most phones is actually really effective! You could also use your hands to gesture to her and you going out together for a drink. Approaching her with flowers in hand is also a great way to help her realize that you're asking her out.
You might find it easier to ask her out via text message if you already have her number. This can prevent some of the awkwardness. It also gives her an easy way to respond.
If you're a bit of an artist, you could draw a simple sketch of the two of you walking with your hands held or sitting on a blanket with a picnic. She'll probably get the idea that you're asking her out.
9. Respect your differences.
Avoid making a stereotypical comment about her country.
Lumping her in with everyone else in her country is not a way to make her feel special! Don't say things like, "Want to go out for a beer? You're German, of course, you do!" She'll feel like you're not taking her seriously and that you're not really into her.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Do some research on dating and cultural practices.\\nHer country might have different approaches or expectations.\\nFor instance, in a lot of the Western world, you could confidently approach her and directly ask her out for dinner or drinks. However, in some cultures, it might be common practice to talk with her friends and indirectly ask her out. Doing some digging ahead of time is also a great way to learn about potential date ideas.\\nYou might do web searches for the country she's from along with the phrase \\\"common dating practices.\\\" This will give you advice tailored to where she's from. If you make her comfortable when you ask her out, she might be more likely to say yes.\\nFor instance, you might learn that in her culture, people usually date in a community setting. This might mean going to concerts, volunteering, or going to sporting events together.\\n2. Work on your language skills.\\nTry to speak a few sentences in her native language.\\nThis is not only charming, it shows that you've put effort into asking her out. Pick a few sentences to really learn like, \\\"Hi, My name is Alex. I'd love to take you out for coffee sometime.\\\"\\nIf you're feeling really confident with your language skills, you could choose a flirty line or two.\\nAnother trick you can try is to ask her to teach you how to say something. For instance, say, \\\"How do you say, 'Let's go out for a drink?'\\\"\\n3. Strike up a conversation about her culture.\\nShow interest in where she's from and ask questions to learn more.\\nNot sure how to start talking to her? Asking basic questions about her country is a great place to start! This shows you're interested in what makes her unique and it gives her a chance to open up to you. You may say something like, \\\"What do people do on dates in your country?\\\"\\nTry to avoid asking about the politics or religion of her country. Instead, stick with light subjects like what her country's known for, local cuisines, and popular music.\\n4. Let her know you're interested in her.\\nYou can be as direct or flirtatious as you like.\\nFlirting comes naturally to some people, but if there's a language barrier, it might be harder to get your point across. You can try to flirt or just tell her that you like her.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I don't know how you say it in Spanish, but you captivate me. I'd like to get to know you better,\\\" or, \\\"I've never dated a Greek girl, but I'd love to have the chance!\\\"\\nFor a simple, direct approach, try, \\\"My French is poor, but I'd like to ask you out on a date.\\\"\\n5. Approach her when she's by herself.\\nTalk to her one-on-one instead of in a group so it's more personal.\\nSince a date is a personal thing, it's better to ask her out when she's alone and not hanging out with a bunch of friends. This also reduces pressure on her to either accept or turn you down.\\nIf she's with a group of friends, you may need to wait for your chance or ask one of her friends to point her in your direction so you can talk.\\n6. Have a specific date in mind.\\nOffer to take her out for coffee, a drink, or dessert.\\nYou could really ask her out for any activity—the point is to have a plan in mind when you ask her. She may not be as excited if you ask her to just hang out with you sometime. Saying, \\\"Would you like to go out for tea this weekend?\\\" shows her that you've given it some thought and you're taking steps to make the date happen.\\nIf you're worried there's a bit of a language barrier, learn a few key words in her language. You might learn \\\"date,\\\" \\\"drinks,\\\" or \\\"coffee,\\\" for instance.\\nSkip the standard dinner and a movie date since this doesn't give you many opportunities for talking to her and it's a long time commitment if things aren't working out.\\n7. Try a double date if you have friends in common.\\nGoing out with a few friends could make you both more comfortable.\\nSometimes, asking a girl out can seem a lot easier if you've got a wingman or wingwoman who can help you out. Approach the girl and tell her that a few of your friends are going to grab dinner or see a band and ask her if she'd like to be your date. This can take some of the pressure off of you both so you can see if you like spending time with one another.\\nFor example, say, \\\"A few of my friends are going to this club later. Do you want to join me?\\\"\\nDon't have any friends willing to double date along with you? No worries! Ask the girl out to a party so you're both hanging out in a group. If things are working out, you could ask her if she wants to leave and go out for dessert, for instance.\\n8. Use a translation app, gestures, or flowers to ask her out.\\nGet creative to effectively communicate if you don't speak the same language.\\nThe translate feature on most phones is actually really effective! You could also use your hands to gesture to her and you going out together for a drink. Approaching her with flowers in hand is also a great way to help her realize that you're asking her out.\\nYou might find it easier to ask her out via text message if you already have her number. This can prevent some of the awkwardness. It also gives her an easy way to respond.\\nIf you're a bit of an artist, you could draw a simple sketch of the two of you walking with your hands held or sitting on a blanket with a picnic. She'll probably get the idea that you're asking her out.\\n9. Respect your differences.\\nAvoid making a stereotypical comment about her country.\\nLumping her in with everyone else in her country is not a way to make her feel special! Don't say things like, \\\"Want to go out for a beer? You're German, of course, you do!\\\" She'll feel like you're not taking her seriously and that you're not really into her.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a girl out is a nerve-wracking experience for anyone, but if she's from another country it can seem like a particular challenge. A lot depends on how well you two can communicate, but you'll still want to learn about dating practices where she's from. If you can make her comfortable around you and show that you respect her, you'll have a great shot at landing a date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do some research on dating and cultural practices.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Her country might have different approaches or expectations.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, in a lot of the Western world, you could confidently approach her and directly ask her out for dinner or drinks. However, in some cultures, it might be common practice to talk with her friends and indirectly ask her out. Doing some digging ahead of time is also a great way to learn about potential date ideas.\\nYou might do web searches for the country she's from along with the phrase \\\"common dating practices.\\\" This will give you advice tailored to where she's from. If you make her comfortable when you ask her out, she might be more likely to say yes.\\nFor instance, you might learn that in her culture, people usually date in a community setting. This might mean going to concerts, volunteering, or going to sporting events together.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Work on your language skills.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to speak a few sentences in her native language.\", \"描述\": \"This is not only charming, it shows that you've put effort into asking her out. Pick a few sentences to really learn like, \\\"Hi, My name is Alex. I'd love to take you out for coffee sometime.\\\"\\nIf you're feeling really confident with your language skills, you could choose a flirty line or two.\\nAnother trick you can try is to ask her to teach you how to say something. For instance, say, \\\"How do you say, 'Let's go out for a drink?'\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Strike up a conversation about her culture.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show interest in where she's from and ask questions to learn more.\", \"描述\": \"Not sure how to start talking to her? Asking basic questions about her country is a great place to start! This shows you're interested in what makes her unique and it gives her a chance to open up to you. You may say something like, \\\"What do people do on dates in your country?\\\"\\nTry to avoid asking about the politics or religion of her country. Instead, stick with light subjects like what her country's known for, local cuisines, and popular music.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let her know you're interested in her.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can be as direct or flirtatious as you like.\", \"描述\": \"Flirting comes naturally to some people, but if there's a language barrier, it might be harder to get your point across. You can try to flirt or just tell her that you like her.\\nFor instance, say, \\\"I don't know how you say it in Spanish, but you captivate me. I'd like to get to know you better,\\\" or, \\\"I've never dated a Greek girl, but I'd love to have the chance!\\\"\\nFor a simple, direct approach, try, \\\"My French is poor, but I'd like to ask you out on a date.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Approach her when she's by herself.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to her one-on-one instead of in a group so it's more personal.\", \"描述\": \"Since a date is a personal thing, it's better to ask her out when she's alone and not hanging out with a bunch of friends. This also reduces pressure on her to either accept or turn you down.\\nIf she's with a group of friends, you may need to wait for your chance or ask one of her friends to point her in your direction so you can talk.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Have a specific date in mind.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Offer to take her out for coffee, a drink, or dessert.\", \"描述\": \"You could really ask her out for any activity—the point is to have a plan in mind when you ask her. She may not be as excited if you ask her to just hang out with you sometime. Saying, \\\"Would you like to go out for tea this weekend?\\\" shows her that you've given it some thought and you're taking steps to make the date happen.\\nIf you're worried there's a bit of a language barrier, learn a few key words in her language. You might learn \\\"date,\\\" \\\"drinks,\\\" or \\\"coffee,\\\" for instance.\\nSkip the standard dinner and a movie date since this doesn't give you many opportunities for talking to her and it's a long time commitment if things aren't working out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try a double date if you have friends in common.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Going out with a few friends could make you both more comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, asking a girl out can seem a lot easier if you've got a wingman or wingwoman who can help you out. Approach the girl and tell her that a few of your friends are going to grab dinner or see a band and ask her if she'd like to be your date. This can take some of the pressure off of you both so you can see if you like spending time with one another.\\nFor example, say, \\\"A few of my friends are going to this club later. Do you want to join me?\\\"\\nDon't have any friends willing to double date along with you? No worries! Ask the girl out to a party so you're both hanging out in a group. If things are working out, you could ask her if she wants to leave and go out for dessert, for instance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Use a translation app, gestures, or flowers to ask her out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get creative to effectively communicate if you don't speak the same language.\", \"描述\": \"The translate feature on most phones is actually really effective! You could also use your hands to gesture to her and you going out together for a drink. Approaching her with flowers in hand is also a great way to help her realize that you're asking her out.\\nYou might find it easier to ask her out via text message if you already have her number. This can prevent some of the awkwardness. It also gives her an easy way to respond.\\nIf you're a bit of an artist, you could draw a simple sketch of the two of you walking with your hands held or sitting on a blanket with a picnic. She'll probably get the idea that you're asking her out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Respect your differences.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid making a stereotypical comment about her country.\", \"描述\": \"Lumping her in with everyone else in her country is not a way to make her feel special! Don't say things like, \\\"Want to go out for a beer? You're German, of course, you do!\\\" She'll feel like you're not taking her seriously and that you're not really into her.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,534 | How to Ask a Friend on a Date | 1. Deciding You're Ready to Ask Your Friend Out
1-1. Take a minute to appraise your own feelings.
How do you really feel about your friend? Perhaps you’re just interested in getting to know them a little better, or maybe you’ve found that you’re attracted to them and want to get to know them from a different perspective. Feelings are often confusing things. Make sure you’ve sorted out exactly how you feel and what you want before you try taking things to the next level.
Even if you’re attracted to your friend, you may decide that it’s advisable to take things slowly and cautiously if the two of you are already close.
1-2. Consider whether your friend feels the same way.
Think about the kind of “vibes” you get from your friend. Are the two of you close, or do you just hang out with the same group of people? Do they laugh at your jokes and show an interest in what you have to say when you’re talking? Try to gauge your friend’s feeling as accurately as you can. If it’s obvious that there’s no real attraction being reciprocated, it might be best to hold off on asking them out. If they act warmly towards you, however, they may have similar feelings, and might have even hoped you’d ask.
1-3. Talk to your other friends about it.
If you have another friend that knows the friend in question and you feel comfortable talking to them about the situation, ask their thoughts on how you should proceed. They probably know something you don’t one way or the other, or have unique insights into the matter that might not have occurred to you. Your other friends will eventually find out if you're dating, so don’t make it look like you were keeping it a secret from them.
If your other friends learn how you feel, they may subtly talk to the friend you like, facilitating the process.
Keep in mind that your other friends are affected by whether or not you start dating. While this shouldn’t necessarily prevent you from asking a friend out, show enough respect to be conscientious about your evolving relationship with that friend and what consequences it might have.
1-4. Spend some alone time together.
The next time your group of friends is hanging out, look for opportunities to pair up or spend some time alone with the friend that you like. This could be playing a game of pool together, having a thoughtful one-on-one conversation at a party or standing next to each other at a concert. Get comfortable with the idea of being alone with your friend and try to also get a sense of how they feel about it in these moments. If your friend gravitates to you during future hangouts, it’s probably a good sign.
Don’t dole out your attention to your friends unfairly. Take an opportunity to spend time alone with your friend if one arises, but don’t make them feel forced to split off and ignore the rest of your company.
2. Finding the Best Circumstances to Ask Them Out
2-1. Keep your expectations in check.
Don’t expect too much to happen too soon, if at all. Even if your friend likes you back, they may be reluctant to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship that the two of you currently have. Whatever your friend decides, you should be okay with it. If you get too set on the idea of dating, it may come as a disappointment if your friend declines, which could create distance between the two of you as friends.
Learn to take “no” for an answer. If your friend agrees to spend time with you one-on-one but makes it known that they’re uneasy with the dating label, accept their position graciously and plan to find something casual to do.
Put whatever misgivings they have about endangering your friendship to rest by assuring them that you’ll remain friends regardless of how things turn out.
2-2. Make sure the time is right.
You should be taking your friend’s feelings into consideration as well as your own. If they’ve been giving you flirtatious signals, it might be a clue that they’re interested in you and will agree to a date. If they seem disinterested or you’re having trouble reading their feelings, they may be uncomfortable with the idea. Recognizing the appropriate point to ask a friend on a date will most often come down to personal judgment.
It’s probably better not to ask your friend out in a group setting where they may feel pressure to respond in a certain way.
2-3. Determine the best way to ask.
The best way to ask someone on a date in most circumstances is face-to-face. However, since you and your friend already have an established platonic relationship, asking them out directly may be awkward or make them feel pressured. Weigh your options. A friendly phone call might do it, or you could drop the proposition during a text conversation. Your friend will probably be most amenable to the idea of going on a date if it doesn’t feel like a big deal, so don’t make it one.
Think about how your friend does most of their communicating and go with their preferred mode. That way nothing feels off when it comes time to broach the subject.
2-4. Ask in a friendly, relaxed way.
Once you’ve determined how you’re going to ask, work the offer naturally into a conversation with your friend, or be collected and up-front about it. The two of you are already friends, so there should be a mutual degree of respect and comfort in place. Frame the question in a way that reinforces that the decision is theirs, and that you want to remain friends either way.
It might be easiest to suggest that just the two of you do something together as friends sometime, since this will cause no initial concern of changing the nature of the relationship. If your desire is to continue dating as more than friends, though, make sure you’re displaying your intentions honestly.
If your friend declines your offer, smile and carry on in an amiable manner. He or she will likely be worried about straining the friendship if they turn you down. Make sure that they know you’re still happy to be their friend. It’s possible that the time just wasn’t right, but now that your friend is aware of your feelings they may in time discover that they’re attracted to you as well.
3. Preserving Your Friendship
3-1. Remember that you’re friends.
No matter how things progress between you, your friendship is the foundation of your relationship and the most important thing. This thought should feel like a safety net for you when you’re mustering the nerve to ask your friend out. If it’s not what your friend wants or they’re not yet open to the possibility, you’ll have your friendship to fall back on, and you should: a true friend will understand and be there to make sure everything is okay. Even if you start dating and things are going well, don’t forget that they were your friend first. The comfort of that bond will make your connection even stronger.
Try to think of your new relationship as a branching outgrowth of your friendship, not a replacement for it.
All of your interactions should come from a place of caring and acceptance. There’s no reason for the friendship to suffer simply because you’re trying to build on it.
3-2. Try not to neglect your mutual friends.
Dating a friend can sometimes cause complications if you tend to hang around the same people. Be upfront with your other friends about the situation and let them know that it won’t alter the friendship of the group. Take particular care not to isolate yourselves when you’re with your mutual friends: this can be easy to do when you first begin to date someone, but it might give the rest of your friends the impression that you’re disinterested in them. Since you began as friends, work on cultivating an environment where you can still spend time together even when you’re involved with someone.
Make some time each week for all of your friends to get together. During this time, involve yourself in the group’s activities and discussions, and don’t make it feel like you and the friend you like are separating yourselves from the rest of your friends.
3-3. Don’t despair if it doesn’t work out.
If your dating efforts aren’t met with success, don’t let it come between you and your friend. You knew to keep your expectations out of the picture, so there’s no need to take it too hard. Not wanting to date may just mean that he or she values you very highly as a friend, which is a good thing. There’s no harm in liking someone, and you shouldn’t feel awkward or guilty if you tried and things didn’t work out. In the worst case scenario, you can simply go back to being friends. It’s a win-win!
You shouldn’t be embarrassed or feel the need to “punish” your friend if things don’t work. Withdrawing from your friend group will make you appear sulky and may send the message that you were only looking to date the person from the beginning.
Allowing resentment to build up will take its toll on your friendship, which is precisely what you don’t want to happen.
3-4. Enjoy each other’s company.
Whether you hit it off on your date or you don’t, take pleasure in being around one another. Starting off as friends means you already know you have common interests, can communicate openly and like spending time together. Look at it as a chance to spend some quality time with the person with no thought to the outcome. Do things that you both enjoy and relish the occasion to make new experiences and memories with the friendship at the heart of your relationship.
For a first date, keep things from feeling too serious by suggesting a short hike or picnic outside, a casual dinner at one of your favorite restaurants followed by coffee, or a movie.
Tips
If your friend turns you down, resist the temptation to try to change their mind. Accept their decision, and keep the experience in perspective. "No" is disappointing to hear, but it's not a reflection of failure or a cause for shame.
Make sure that the friendship will not be irrevocably changed if you ask him or her out. Some people might react to being asked out by a friend differently than others. The last thing you want is to lose a great friend.
Psychologists say that the longest lasting relationships start off as friendships. That being said, it can be difficult establishing romance in a relationship borne of friendship. Make sure that you transition from friendship to courtship and then to intimacy. Don't leave romance to chance.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Deciding You're Ready to Ask Your Friend Out\\n1-1. Take a minute to appraise your own feelings.\\nHow do you really feel about your friend? Perhaps you’re just interested in getting to know them a little better, or maybe you’ve found that you’re attracted to them and want to get to know them from a different perspective. Feelings are often confusing things. Make sure you’ve sorted out exactly how you feel and what you want before you try taking things to the next level.\\nEven if you’re attracted to your friend, you may decide that it’s advisable to take things slowly and cautiously if the two of you are already close.\\n1-2. Consider whether your friend feels the same way.\\nThink about the kind of “vibes” you get from your friend. Are the two of you close, or do you just hang out with the same group of people? Do they laugh at your jokes and show an interest in what you have to say when you’re talking? Try to gauge your friend’s feeling as accurately as you can. If it’s obvious that there’s no real attraction being reciprocated, it might be best to hold off on asking them out. If they act warmly towards you, however, they may have similar feelings, and might have even hoped you’d ask.\\n1-3. Talk to your other friends about it.\\nIf you have another friend that knows the friend in question and you feel comfortable talking to them about the situation, ask their thoughts on how you should proceed. They probably know something you don’t one way or the other, or have unique insights into the matter that might not have occurred to you. Your other friends will eventually find out if you're dating, so don’t make it look like you were keeping it a secret from them.\\nIf your other friends learn how you feel, they may subtly talk to the friend you like, facilitating the process.\\nKeep in mind that your other friends are affected by whether or not you start dating. While this shouldn’t necessarily prevent you from asking a friend out, show enough respect to be conscientious about your evolving relationship with that friend and what consequences it might have.\\n1-4. Spend some alone time together.\\nThe next time your group of friends is hanging out, look for opportunities to pair up or spend some time alone with the friend that you like. This could be playing a game of pool together, having a thoughtful one-on-one conversation at a party or standing next to each other at a concert. Get comfortable with the idea of being alone with your friend and try to also get a sense of how they feel about it in these moments. If your friend gravitates to you during future hangouts, it’s probably a good sign.\\nDon’t dole out your attention to your friends unfairly. Take an opportunity to spend time alone with your friend if one arises, but don’t make them feel forced to split off and ignore the rest of your company.\\n2. Finding the Best Circumstances to Ask Them Out\\n2-1. Keep your expectations in check.\\nDon’t expect too much to happen too soon, if at all. Even if your friend likes you back, they may be reluctant to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship that the two of you currently have. Whatever your friend decides, you should be okay with it. If you get too set on the idea of dating, it may come as a disappointment if your friend declines, which could create distance between the two of you as friends.\\nLearn to take “no” for an answer. If your friend agrees to spend time with you one-on-one but makes it known that they’re uneasy with the dating label, accept their position graciously and plan to find something casual to do.\\nPut whatever misgivings they have about endangering your friendship to rest by assuring them that you’ll remain friends regardless of how things turn out.\\n2-2. Make sure the time is right.\\nYou should be taking your friend’s feelings into consideration as well as your own. If they’ve been giving you flirtatious signals, it might be a clue that they’re interested in you and will agree to a date. If they seem disinterested or you’re having trouble reading their feelings, they may be uncomfortable with the idea. Recognizing the appropriate point to ask a friend on a date will most often come down to personal judgment.\\nIt’s probably better not to ask your friend out in a group setting where they may feel pressure to respond in a certain way.\\n2-3. Determine the best way to ask.\\nThe best way to ask someone on a date in most circumstances is face-to-face. However, since you and your friend already have an established platonic relationship, asking them out directly may be awkward or make them feel pressured. Weigh your options. A friendly phone call might do it, or you could drop the proposition during a text conversation. Your friend will probably be most amenable to the idea of going on a date if it doesn’t feel like a big deal, so don’t make it one.\\nThink about how your friend does most of their communicating and go with their preferred mode. That way nothing feels off when it comes time to broach the subject.\\n2-4. Ask in a friendly, relaxed way.\\nOnce you’ve determined how you’re going to ask, work the offer naturally into a conversation with your friend, or be collected and up-front about it. The two of you are already friends, so there should be a mutual degree of respect and comfort in place. Frame the question in a way that reinforces that the decision is theirs, and that you want to remain friends either way.\\nIt might be easiest to suggest that just the two of you do something together as friends sometime, since this will cause no initial concern of changing the nature of the relationship. If your desire is to continue dating as more than friends, though, make sure you’re displaying your intentions honestly.\\nIf your friend declines your offer, smile and carry on in an amiable manner. He or she will likely be worried about straining the friendship if they turn you down. Make sure that they know you’re still happy to be their friend. It’s possible that the time just wasn’t right, but now that your friend is aware of your feelings they may in time discover that they’re attracted to you as well.\\n3. Preserving Your Friendship\\n3-1. Remember that you’re friends.\\nNo matter how things progress between you, your friendship is the foundation of your relationship and the most important thing. This thought should feel like a safety net for you when you’re mustering the nerve to ask your friend out. If it’s not what your friend wants or they’re not yet open to the possibility, you’ll have your friendship to fall back on, and you should: a true friend will understand and be there to make sure everything is okay. Even if you start dating and things are going well, don’t forget that they were your friend first. The comfort of that bond will make your connection even stronger.\\nTry to think of your new relationship as a branching outgrowth of your friendship, not a replacement for it.\\nAll of your interactions should come from a place of caring and acceptance. There’s no reason for the friendship to suffer simply because you’re trying to build on it.\\n3-2. Try not to neglect your mutual friends.\\nDating a friend can sometimes cause complications if you tend to hang around the same people. Be upfront with your other friends about the situation and let them know that it won’t alter the friendship of the group. Take particular care not to isolate yourselves when you’re with your mutual friends: this can be easy to do when you first begin to date someone, but it might give the rest of your friends the impression that you’re disinterested in them. Since you began as friends, work on cultivating an environment where you can still spend time together even when you’re involved with someone.\\nMake some time each week for all of your friends to get together. During this time, involve yourself in the group’s activities and discussions, and don’t make it feel like you and the friend you like are separating yourselves from the rest of your friends.\\n3-3. Don’t despair if it doesn’t work out.\\nIf your dating efforts aren’t met with success, don’t let it come between you and your friend. You knew to keep your expectations out of the picture, so there’s no need to take it too hard. Not wanting to date may just mean that he or she values you very highly as a friend, which is a good thing. There’s no harm in liking someone, and you shouldn’t feel awkward or guilty if you tried and things didn’t work out. In the worst case scenario, you can simply go back to being friends. It’s a win-win!\\nYou shouldn’t be embarrassed or feel the need to “punish” your friend if things don’t work. Withdrawing from your friend group will make you appear sulky and may send the message that you were only looking to date the person from the beginning.\\nAllowing resentment to build up will take its toll on your friendship, which is precisely what you don’t want to happen.\\n3-4. Enjoy each other’s company.\\nWhether you hit it off on your date or you don’t, take pleasure in being around one another. Starting off as friends means you already know you have common interests, can communicate openly and like spending time together. Look at it as a chance to spend some quality time with the person with no thought to the outcome. Do things that you both enjoy and relish the occasion to make new experiences and memories with the friendship at the heart of your relationship.\\nFor a first date, keep things from feeling too serious by suggesting a short hike or picnic outside, a casual dinner at one of your favorite restaurants followed by coffee, or a movie.\\nTips\\nIf your friend turns you down, resist the temptation to try to change their mind. Accept their decision, and keep the experience in perspective. \\\"No\\\" is disappointing to hear, but it's not a reflection of failure or a cause for shame.\\nMake sure that the friendship will not be irrevocably changed if you ask him or her out. Some people might react to being asked out by a friend differently than others. The last thing you want is to lose a great friend.\\nPsychologists say that the longest lasting relationships start off as friendships. That being said, it can be difficult establishing romance in a relationship borne of friendship. Make sure that you transition from friendship to courtship and then to intimacy. Don't leave romance to chance.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You have a good friend that you enjoy spending time with, and you want to get to know them on a more intimate level. Should you ask them out on a date? What if it doesn’t work out and your friendship is ruined? Asking out a friend can be nerve wracking because it involves a shift in the type of relationship the two of you share. But don’t worry—if your friend feels the same way, going on a date could bring you even closer together. The important thing to remember is to keep your expectations in check and know the right time and way to ask.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deciding You're Ready to Ask Your Friend Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a minute to appraise your own feelings.\", \"描述\": \"How do you really feel about your friend? Perhaps you’re just interested in getting to know them a little better, or maybe you’ve found that you’re attracted to them and want to get to know them from a different perspective. Feelings are often confusing things. Make sure you’ve sorted out exactly how you feel and what you want before you try taking things to the next level.\\nEven if you’re attracted to your friend, you may decide that it’s advisable to take things slowly and cautiously if the two of you are already close.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider whether your friend feels the same way.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the kind of “vibes” you get from your friend. Are the two of you close, or do you just hang out with the same group of people? Do they laugh at your jokes and show an interest in what you have to say when you’re talking? Try to gauge your friend’s feeling as accurately as you can. If it’s obvious that there’s no real attraction being reciprocated, it might be best to hold off on asking them out. If they act warmly towards you, however, they may have similar feelings, and might have even hoped you’d ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to your other friends about it.\", \"描述\": \"If you have another friend that knows the friend in question and you feel comfortable talking to them about the situation, ask their thoughts on how you should proceed. They probably know something you don’t one way or the other, or have unique insights into the matter that might not have occurred to you. Your other friends will eventually find out if you're dating, so don’t make it look like you were keeping it a secret from them.\\nIf your other friends learn how you feel, they may subtly talk to the friend you like, facilitating the process.\\nKeep in mind that your other friends are affected by whether or not you start dating. While this shouldn’t necessarily prevent you from asking a friend out, show enough respect to be conscientious about your evolving relationship with that friend and what consequences it might have.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Spend some alone time together.\", \"描述\": \"The next time your group of friends is hanging out, look for opportunities to pair up or spend some time alone with the friend that you like. This could be playing a game of pool together, having a thoughtful one-on-one conversation at a party or standing next to each other at a concert. Get comfortable with the idea of being alone with your friend and try to also get a sense of how they feel about it in these moments. If your friend gravitates to you during future hangouts, it’s probably a good sign.\\nDon’t dole out your attention to your friends unfairly. Take an opportunity to spend time alone with your friend if one arises, but don’t make them feel forced to split off and ignore the rest of your company.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding the Best Circumstances to Ask Them Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your expectations in check.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t expect too much to happen too soon, if at all. Even if your friend likes you back, they may be reluctant to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship that the two of you currently have. Whatever your friend decides, you should be okay with it. If you get too set on the idea of dating, it may come as a disappointment if your friend declines, which could create distance between the two of you as friends.\\nLearn to take “no” for an answer. If your friend agrees to spend time with you one-on-one but makes it known that they’re uneasy with the dating label, accept their position graciously and plan to find something casual to do.\\nPut whatever misgivings they have about endangering your friendship to rest by assuring them that you’ll remain friends regardless of how things turn out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure the time is right.\", \"描述\": \"You should be taking your friend’s feelings into consideration as well as your own. If they’ve been giving you flirtatious signals, it might be a clue that they’re interested in you and will agree to a date. If they seem disinterested or you’re having trouble reading their feelings, they may be uncomfortable with the idea. Recognizing the appropriate point to ask a friend on a date will most often come down to personal judgment.\\nIt’s probably better not to ask your friend out in a group setting where they may feel pressure to respond in a certain way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine the best way to ask.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to ask someone on a date in most circumstances is face-to-face. However, since you and your friend already have an established platonic relationship, asking them out directly may be awkward or make them feel pressured. Weigh your options. A friendly phone call might do it, or you could drop the proposition during a text conversation. Your friend will probably be most amenable to the idea of going on a date if it doesn’t feel like a big deal, so don’t make it one.\\nThink about how your friend does most of their communicating and go with their preferred mode. That way nothing feels off when it comes time to broach the subject.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask in a friendly, relaxed way.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve determined how you’re going to ask, work the offer naturally into a conversation with your friend, or be collected and up-front about it. The two of you are already friends, so there should be a mutual degree of respect and comfort in place. Frame the question in a way that reinforces that the decision is theirs, and that you want to remain friends either way.\\nIt might be easiest to suggest that just the two of you do something together as friends sometime, since this will cause no initial concern of changing the nature of the relationship. If your desire is to continue dating as more than friends, though, make sure you’re displaying your intentions honestly.\\nIf your friend declines your offer, smile and carry on in an amiable manner. He or she will likely be worried about straining the friendship if they turn you down. Make sure that they know you’re still happy to be their friend. It’s possible that the time just wasn’t right, but now that your friend is aware of your feelings they may in time discover that they’re attracted to you as well.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preserving Your Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that you’re friends.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how things progress between you, your friendship is the foundation of your relationship and the most important thing. This thought should feel like a safety net for you when you’re mustering the nerve to ask your friend out. If it’s not what your friend wants or they’re not yet open to the possibility, you’ll have your friendship to fall back on, and you should: a true friend will understand and be there to make sure everything is okay. Even if you start dating and things are going well, don’t forget that they were your friend first. The comfort of that bond will make your connection even stronger.\\nTry to think of your new relationship as a branching outgrowth of your friendship, not a replacement for it.\\nAll of your interactions should come from a place of caring and acceptance. There’s no reason for the friendship to suffer simply because you’re trying to build on it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try not to neglect your mutual friends.\", \"描述\": \"Dating a friend can sometimes cause complications if you tend to hang around the same people. Be upfront with your other friends about the situation and let them know that it won’t alter the friendship of the group. Take particular care not to isolate yourselves when you’re with your mutual friends: this can be easy to do when you first begin to date someone, but it might give the rest of your friends the impression that you’re disinterested in them. Since you began as friends, work on cultivating an environment where you can still spend time together even when you’re involved with someone.\\nMake some time each week for all of your friends to get together. During this time, involve yourself in the group’s activities and discussions, and don’t make it feel like you and the friend you like are separating yourselves from the rest of your friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t despair if it doesn’t work out.\", \"描述\": \"If your dating efforts aren’t met with success, don’t let it come between you and your friend. You knew to keep your expectations out of the picture, so there’s no need to take it too hard. Not wanting to date may just mean that he or she values you very highly as a friend, which is a good thing. There’s no harm in liking someone, and you shouldn’t feel awkward or guilty if you tried and things didn’t work out. In the worst case scenario, you can simply go back to being friends. It’s a win-win!\\nYou shouldn’t be embarrassed or feel the need to “punish” your friend if things don’t work. Withdrawing from your friend group will make you appear sulky and may send the message that you were only looking to date the person from the beginning.\\nAllowing resentment to build up will take its toll on your friendship, which is precisely what you don’t want to happen.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy each other’s company.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you hit it off on your date or you don’t, take pleasure in being around one another. Starting off as friends means you already know you have common interests, can communicate openly and like spending time together. Look at it as a chance to spend some quality time with the person with no thought to the outcome. Do things that you both enjoy and relish the occasion to make new experiences and memories with the friendship at the heart of your relationship.\\nFor a first date, keep things from feeling too serious by suggesting a short hike or picnic outside, a casual dinner at one of your favorite restaurants followed by coffee, or a movie.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If your friend turns you down, resist the temptation to try to change their mind. Accept their decision, and keep the experience in perspective. \\\"No\\\" is disappointing to hear, but it's not a reflection of failure or a cause for shame.\\n\", \"Make sure that the friendship will not be irrevocably changed if you ask him or her out. Some people might react to being asked out by a friend differently than others. The last thing you want is to lose a great friend.\\n\", \"Psychologists say that the longest lasting relationships start off as friendships. That being said, it can be difficult establishing romance in a relationship borne of friendship. Make sure that you transition from friendship to courtship and then to intimacy. Don't leave romance to chance.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,535 | How to Ask a Friend to Forgive You | 1. Apologizing to Your Friend
1-1. Find a private, quiet area where you can talk.
You should ask your friend to meet you in an area that is quiet and not very crowded so you can talk in private. Choose an area that feels like neutral ground, as you do not want your friend to feel uncomfortable. You may opt for a quiet spot at school or a bench in a park nearby.
You may also choose a coffee shop or local hang out you and your friend enjoy going to. Meeting in a spot that is part of your friendship may make the conversation feel less awkward.
1-2. Express regret for your actions.
Start the conversation by expressing regret for what you did to your friend. Humble yourself and be vulnerable. Do not get defensive or make up excuses for your actions. Instead, let your friend know that you regret what you did and realize it was wrong.
For example, you may say to your friend, “I realize now that pulling that prank on you was wrong and inconsiderate. I regret doing that to you.” Or you may say, “I know now that lying to you was the wrong thing to do. I regret my actions.”
Make sure that you do not use this as an opportunity to point out things they may have done to you in the past.
1-3. Use “I” statements in your apology.
You should then apologize to your friend in a sincere, heartfelt way. Always use “I” statements in your apology and focus on your perspective on what you did. Do not use “you” or “we”, as this can come off like you are blaming your friend for your mistake. Instead, focus on your actions only in your apology.
For example, you may say “I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I hope you can accept my apology.” Or, you may say, “I realize now what I did was wrong. I am very sorry for my actions.”
You may also want to acknowledge that you may have hurt your friend. Try saying something like, “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”
1-4. Ask for forgiveness.
Once you have offered your friend a sincere apology, you should ask your friend if they would be willing to forgive you. Try to make your request with real emotion and be vulnerable in front of your friend. Your friend may be more likely to forgive you if they can tell you truly feel bad and regret what you did.
For example, you may say, “Do you think you would be able to forgive me for what I did?” or “Would you forgive me?”
2. Making Amends for Your Mistake
2-1. Tell your friend you will adjust your behavior.
Even if your friend accepts your apology and forgives you, it still may take time for your friendship to recover. You should take steps to make amends for your behavior so your friendship can move forward in a positive way. Making amends, even in a small way, can help your friend get over your mistake.
You may make amends by making a promise to change your behavior. For example, you may tell your friend, “I will be more honest with you going forward and never lie to you again” or “I will not play any more pranks on you.”
You can also ask your friend how you can make amends for your actions and be willing to follow through on their response. You may ask, “What can I do to make it up to you?” or “How can I repair our friendship?”
2-2. Let your friend have some space.
Though you may have a good talk with your friend and feel you have both reached a better place in your friendship, your friend may still need time to process and accept your apology. You should step back and give your friend some space. Allow them some time to digest your apology and work through their own feelings around forgiving you.
For example, you may tell your friend, “I know this is a lot to process and I understand if you want some time alone to digest my apology.”
You may then follow up with your friend in a few days to see how they are doing and to try to talk to them again. They may be more willing to renew your friendship if they have had some time away to process their feelings.
2-3. Do something nice for your friend.
You can also make amends for your actions for doing something sweet for your friend to show them you can be a good friend. This could be doing a thoughtful act for them, such as helping them study for an upcoming exam or assisting them with an errand or chore. You may also act nice to them by complimenting them or being more considerate of them.
You may also surprise your friend with a thoughtful gift to show them how bad you feel about your actions. Choose a gift that will feel special to your friend and show them how much you care about them.
3. Maintaining Your Friendship
3-1. Discuss any issues before they become arguments.
You and your friend can maintain a stronger friendship by being honest with each other, no matter how tricky or sensitive an issue may be. You should be willing to sit down together and discuss any issues you may have with each other in a mature and honest way. Doing this will ensure smaller issues do not get blown out of proportion and lead to arguments or conflicts.
You may check in with your friend periodically to make sure there are no issues or conflicts between you. If there are any issues, you should address them with your friend head on and work together to come up with a solution or a compromise.
3-2. Maintain healthy boundaries.
Friends are close by nature and you may have a very close relationship with your friend. It may become even closer once they have forgiven you and your friendship has recovered. But you should still try to maintain healthy boundaries in your friendship. This means you may not spend every waking minute together, and you should set aside time to hang out with other friends or partners. Having boundaries in your friendship will ensure you do not become too emotionally wrapped up in your interactions with your friend.
For example, you may make plans once a week with your friend so you have time to hang out. But you may then devote the rest of your time to studying for school, spending time with your family, and hanging out with your partner. Having a balance in your life will ensure none of your relationships suffer or become too emotionally draining.
3-3. Spend quality time together.
When you do hang out with your friend, make sure it is a quality hang. Do something together that will be fun and engaging for both of you. Or choose an outing that you will both enjoy. Having quality time together will only strengthen your friendship and ensure it stays healthy.
For example, you may have a standing dinner date with your friend where you eat and talk about your week, just the two of you. Or you may go on a mini adventure in your area so you can create quality memories together.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:54",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Apologizing to Your Friend\\n1-1. Find a private, quiet area where you can talk.\\nYou should ask your friend to meet you in an area that is quiet and not very crowded so you can talk in private. Choose an area that feels like neutral ground, as you do not want your friend to feel uncomfortable. You may opt for a quiet spot at school or a bench in a park nearby.\\nYou may also choose a coffee shop or local hang out you and your friend enjoy going to. Meeting in a spot that is part of your friendship may make the conversation feel less awkward.\\n1-2. Express regret for your actions.\\nStart the conversation by expressing regret for what you did to your friend. Humble yourself and be vulnerable. Do not get defensive or make up excuses for your actions. Instead, let your friend know that you regret what you did and realize it was wrong.\\nFor example, you may say to your friend, “I realize now that pulling that prank on you was wrong and inconsiderate. I regret doing that to you.” Or you may say, “I know now that lying to you was the wrong thing to do. I regret my actions.”\\nMake sure that you do not use this as an opportunity to point out things they may have done to you in the past.\\n1-3. Use “I” statements in your apology.\\nYou should then apologize to your friend in a sincere, heartfelt way. Always use “I” statements in your apology and focus on your perspective on what you did. Do not use “you” or “we”, as this can come off like you are blaming your friend for your mistake. Instead, focus on your actions only in your apology.\\nFor example, you may say “I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I hope you can accept my apology.” Or, you may say, “I realize now what I did was wrong. I am very sorry for my actions.”\\nYou may also want to acknowledge that you may have hurt your friend. Try saying something like, “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”\\n1-4. Ask for forgiveness.\\nOnce you have offered your friend a sincere apology, you should ask your friend if they would be willing to forgive you. Try to make your request with real emotion and be vulnerable in front of your friend. Your friend may be more likely to forgive you if they can tell you truly feel bad and regret what you did.\\nFor example, you may say, “Do you think you would be able to forgive me for what I did?” or “Would you forgive me?”\\n2. Making Amends for Your Mistake\\n2-1. Tell your friend you will adjust your behavior.\\nEven if your friend accepts your apology and forgives you, it still may take time for your friendship to recover. You should take steps to make amends for your behavior so your friendship can move forward in a positive way. Making amends, even in a small way, can help your friend get over your mistake.\\nYou may make amends by making a promise to change your behavior. For example, you may tell your friend, “I will be more honest with you going forward and never lie to you again” or “I will not play any more pranks on you.”\\nYou can also ask your friend how you can make amends for your actions and be willing to follow through on their response. You may ask, “What can I do to make it up to you?” or “How can I repair our friendship?”\\n2-2. Let your friend have some space.\\nThough you may have a good talk with your friend and feel you have both reached a better place in your friendship, your friend may still need time to process and accept your apology. You should step back and give your friend some space. Allow them some time to digest your apology and work through their own feelings around forgiving you.\\nFor example, you may tell your friend, “I know this is a lot to process and I understand if you want some time alone to digest my apology.”\\nYou may then follow up with your friend in a few days to see how they are doing and to try to talk to them again. They may be more willing to renew your friendship if they have had some time away to process their feelings.\\n2-3. Do something nice for your friend.\\nYou can also make amends for your actions for doing something sweet for your friend to show them you can be a good friend. This could be doing a thoughtful act for them, such as helping them study for an upcoming exam or assisting them with an errand or chore. You may also act nice to them by complimenting them or being more considerate of them.\\nYou may also surprise your friend with a thoughtful gift to show them how bad you feel about your actions. Choose a gift that will feel special to your friend and show them how much you care about them.\\n3. Maintaining Your Friendship\\n3-1. Discuss any issues before they become arguments.\\nYou and your friend can maintain a stronger friendship by being honest with each other, no matter how tricky or sensitive an issue may be. You should be willing to sit down together and discuss any issues you may have with each other in a mature and honest way. Doing this will ensure smaller issues do not get blown out of proportion and lead to arguments or conflicts.\\nYou may check in with your friend periodically to make sure there are no issues or conflicts between you. If there are any issues, you should address them with your friend head on and work together to come up with a solution or a compromise.\\n3-2. Maintain healthy boundaries.\\nFriends are close by nature and you may have a very close relationship with your friend. It may become even closer once they have forgiven you and your friendship has recovered. But you should still try to maintain healthy boundaries in your friendship. This means you may not spend every waking minute together, and you should set aside time to hang out with other friends or partners. Having boundaries in your friendship will ensure you do not become too emotionally wrapped up in your interactions with your friend.\\nFor example, you may make plans once a week with your friend so you have time to hang out. But you may then devote the rest of your time to studying for school, spending time with your family, and hanging out with your partner. Having a balance in your life will ensure none of your relationships suffer or become too emotionally draining.\\n3-3. Spend quality time together.\\nWhen you do hang out with your friend, make sure it is a quality hang. Do something together that will be fun and engaging for both of you. Or choose an outing that you will both enjoy. Having quality time together will only strengthen your friendship and ensure it stays healthy.\\nFor example, you may have a standing dinner date with your friend where you eat and talk about your week, just the two of you. Or you may go on a mini adventure in your area so you can create quality memories together.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you pulled a dumb prank and your friend is livid with you. Or perhaps you overstepped your boundaries with a friend and wish to repair the damage. Asking a friend for forgiveness can be humbling, but if it goes well, your friendship will be better for it. You should start by apologizing to your friend and asking them for forgiveness in a heartfelt way. You can then make amends for your mistake and work on maintaining your friendship with the person so it stays strong.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologizing to Your Friend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find a private, quiet area where you can talk.\", \"描述\": \"You should ask your friend to meet you in an area that is quiet and not very crowded so you can talk in private. Choose an area that feels like neutral ground, as you do not want your friend to feel uncomfortable. You may opt for a quiet spot at school or a bench in a park nearby.\\nYou may also choose a coffee shop or local hang out you and your friend enjoy going to. Meeting in a spot that is part of your friendship may make the conversation feel less awkward.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express regret for your actions.\", \"描述\": \"Start the conversation by expressing regret for what you did to your friend. Humble yourself and be vulnerable. Do not get defensive or make up excuses for your actions. Instead, let your friend know that you regret what you did and realize it was wrong.\\nFor example, you may say to your friend, “I realize now that pulling that prank on you was wrong and inconsiderate. I regret doing that to you.” Or you may say, “I know now that lying to you was the wrong thing to do. I regret my actions.”\\nMake sure that you do not use this as an opportunity to point out things they may have done to you in the past.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use “I” statements in your apology.\", \"描述\": \"You should then apologize to your friend in a sincere, heartfelt way. Always use “I” statements in your apology and focus on your perspective on what you did. Do not use “you” or “we”, as this can come off like you are blaming your friend for your mistake. Instead, focus on your actions only in your apology.\\nFor example, you may say “I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I hope you can accept my apology.” Or, you may say, “I realize now what I did was wrong. I am very sorry for my actions.”\\nYou may also want to acknowledge that you may have hurt your friend. Try saying something like, “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have offered your friend a sincere apology, you should ask your friend if they would be willing to forgive you. Try to make your request with real emotion and be vulnerable in front of your friend. Your friend may be more likely to forgive you if they can tell you truly feel bad and regret what you did.\\nFor example, you may say, “Do you think you would be able to forgive me for what I did?” or “Would you forgive me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making Amends for Your Mistake\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell your friend you will adjust your behavior.\", \"描述\": \"Even if your friend accepts your apology and forgives you, it still may take time for your friendship to recover. You should take steps to make amends for your behavior so your friendship can move forward in a positive way. Making amends, even in a small way, can help your friend get over your mistake.\\nYou may make amends by making a promise to change your behavior. For example, you may tell your friend, “I will be more honest with you going forward and never lie to you again” or “I will not play any more pranks on you.”\\nYou can also ask your friend how you can make amends for your actions and be willing to follow through on their response. You may ask, “What can I do to make it up to you?” or “How can I repair our friendship?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let your friend have some space.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may have a good talk with your friend and feel you have both reached a better place in your friendship, your friend may still need time to process and accept your apology. You should step back and give your friend some space. Allow them some time to digest your apology and work through their own feelings around forgiving you.\\nFor example, you may tell your friend, “I know this is a lot to process and I understand if you want some time alone to digest my apology.”\\nYou may then follow up with your friend in a few days to see how they are doing and to try to talk to them again. They may be more willing to renew your friendship if they have had some time away to process their feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something nice for your friend.\", \"描述\": \"You can also make amends for your actions for doing something sweet for your friend to show them you can be a good friend. This could be doing a thoughtful act for them, such as helping them study for an upcoming exam or assisting them with an errand or chore. You may also act nice to them by complimenting them or being more considerate of them.\\nYou may also surprise your friend with a thoughtful gift to show them how bad you feel about your actions. Choose a gift that will feel special to your friend and show them how much you care about them.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Maintaining Your Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Discuss any issues before they become arguments.\", \"描述\": \"You and your friend can maintain a stronger friendship by being honest with each other, no matter how tricky or sensitive an issue may be. You should be willing to sit down together and discuss any issues you may have with each other in a mature and honest way. Doing this will ensure smaller issues do not get blown out of proportion and lead to arguments or conflicts.\\nYou may check in with your friend periodically to make sure there are no issues or conflicts between you. If there are any issues, you should address them with your friend head on and work together to come up with a solution or a compromise.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain healthy boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"Friends are close by nature and you may have a very close relationship with your friend. It may become even closer once they have forgiven you and your friendship has recovered. But you should still try to maintain healthy boundaries in your friendship. This means you may not spend every waking minute together, and you should set aside time to hang out with other friends or partners. Having boundaries in your friendship will ensure you do not become too emotionally wrapped up in your interactions with your friend.\\nFor example, you may make plans once a week with your friend so you have time to hang out. But you may then devote the rest of your time to studying for school, spending time with your family, and hanging out with your partner. Having a balance in your life will ensure none of your relationships suffer or become too emotionally draining.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spend quality time together.\", \"描述\": \"When you do hang out with your friend, make sure it is a quality hang. Do something together that will be fun and engaging for both of you. Or choose an outing that you will both enjoy. Having quality time together will only strengthen your friendship and ensure it stays healthy.\\nFor example, you may have a standing dinner date with your friend where you eat and talk about your week, just the two of you. Or you may go on a mini adventure in your area so you can create quality memories together.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,536 | How to Ask a Friend to Hang Out | 1. Gauge their interest with an open-ended invitation.
If you aren’t sure if they want to hang, try this.
An open-ended invitation is a little less specific than a fully fleshed out plan. You can use this on newer friends to get a read on how interested they are in hanging out with you. Try saying something like:
“Do you want to go for a bike ride sometime soon?”
“We should go check out that new coffee shop.”
“What days are you usually free? Wanna hang out sometime?”
2. Keep your phrasing casual.
Sounding too formal can be slightly off-putting.
Instead of saying, “I’d like to invite you out on Saturday,” stick to something like, “Wanna come see the game with me this weekend?” You’ll sound more inviting, and your friend will be more likely to accept your offer.
Start your conversation with a friendly greeting like, "Hey Billy, how are you doing? I hope you're doing well," to lead into the conversation.
Stay away from anything self-deprecating, too. Something like, “I have such a hard time making friends… Wanna hang out?” can be a little off-putting, and it could put unnecessary pressure on your friend.
3. Ask what they’re up to on a certain day.
Get more specific if you have an activity planned.
This works well for things like concerts or activities that you need to buy tickets for. Be sure to follow up with the specific activity you had in mind so your friend knows why you’re asking. For example:
“Do you have any plans next weekend? I was thinking of getting tickets to the new exhibit at the museum downtown.”
“What are you doing Thursday after work? I’m going to see my favorite band, and tickets are pretty cheap. Wanna come with me?”
4. Invite them to a short, low-key outing.
If you two are new friends, try a quick, casual activity.
Instead of inviting someone out for a multi-day camping trip, start with drinks after work or a session at the gym. Your friend will be more likely to accept if they know it isn’t something huge, especially if you two have never hung out before.
If you’ve hung out a few times already, feel free to invite your friend on a larger hangout, like a boating trip or an afternoon of rock climbing.
5. Lock down a time, date, and place.
That way, there’s no confusion about your plans.
While it’s fine to say you’re going to hangout “soon,” that doesn’t really mean much. If you actually want to hang out with your friend, get an idea of when and where you’re going to meet up so you know it’s actually happening.
You can confirm your plans by saying something like, “Okay cool, so drinks after work on Friday? What time do you get off?”
Or, “I’ll see you on Saturday to watch the game. What time should I head over?”
If you don’t already have your friend’s number, now would be a good time to jot it down. That way, you can text or call them if you need confirmation or directions.
6. Include them in group plans you already have.
Take the pressure off your friend by inviting them along.
If you’re already heading out with a group of people, ask them to tag along if they want to. That way, if they can’t go, they don’t have to feel super bad about it.
Say something like, “Hey, me and some buddies were gonna watch the game at my place on Sunday. Feel free to stop by if you want to!”
Or, “I’m meeting some friends at the river this weekend, I’d love it if you joined us.”
7. Let them contact you if they seem unsure.
If your friend won’t commit to plans, put the ball in their court.
Let them know when you’re free and make sure they have your number. Tell them to call or text you if they want to hang out at any point, or ask them to meet you somewhere specific. Try something like:
“I’m free all day Saturday, so just give me a call if you want to hang out.”
“Feel free to text me once you get off work on Monday. I have the day off, so I won’t be doing much.”
“I’ll be at the mall later if you want to meet up. Text me if you decide to come!”
8. Don’t push it if they say no.
If your friend seems uninterested, that’s okay!
It doesn’t mean they don’t like you—they might just be super busy or not interested in the activity you had planned. If they say they’re not up for it and they don’t propose a different idea, it’s best to just drop it and wait for your friend to suggest something else.
Sometimes, people will say no indirectly. They might say, “I’m just super busy right now,” or, “I don’t have a lot of free time.”
However, if your friend says, “I’m busy tomorrow, but what about next week?” that means they actually want to hang out soon. Try to work around their schedule to make time for them.
Tips
If you feel nervous about asking a friend to hang out, try texting them or asking them in private.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gauge their interest with an open-ended invitation.\\nIf you aren’t sure if they want to hang, try this.\\nAn open-ended invitation is a little less specific than a fully fleshed out plan. You can use this on newer friends to get a read on how interested they are in hanging out with you. Try saying something like:\\n“Do you want to go for a bike ride sometime soon?”\\n“We should go check out that new coffee shop.”\\n“What days are you usually free? Wanna hang out sometime?”\\n2. Keep your phrasing casual.\\nSounding too formal can be slightly off-putting.\\nInstead of saying, “I’d like to invite you out on Saturday,” stick to something like, “Wanna come see the game with me this weekend?” You’ll sound more inviting, and your friend will be more likely to accept your offer.\\nStart your conversation with a friendly greeting like, \\\"Hey Billy, how are you doing? I hope you're doing well,\\\" to lead into the conversation.\\nStay away from anything self-deprecating, too. Something like, “I have such a hard time making friends… Wanna hang out?” can be a little off-putting, and it could put unnecessary pressure on your friend.\\n3. Ask what they’re up to on a certain day.\\nGet more specific if you have an activity planned.\\nThis works well for things like concerts or activities that you need to buy tickets for. Be sure to follow up with the specific activity you had in mind so your friend knows why you’re asking. For example:\\n“Do you have any plans next weekend? I was thinking of getting tickets to the new exhibit at the museum downtown.”\\n“What are you doing Thursday after work? I’m going to see my favorite band, and tickets are pretty cheap. Wanna come with me?”\\n4. Invite them to a short, low-key outing.\\nIf you two are new friends, try a quick, casual activity.\\nInstead of inviting someone out for a multi-day camping trip, start with drinks after work or a session at the gym. Your friend will be more likely to accept if they know it isn’t something huge, especially if you two have never hung out before.\\nIf you’ve hung out a few times already, feel free to invite your friend on a larger hangout, like a boating trip or an afternoon of rock climbing.\\n5. Lock down a time, date, and place.\\nThat way, there’s no confusion about your plans.\\nWhile it’s fine to say you’re going to hangout “soon,” that doesn’t really mean much. If you actually want to hang out with your friend, get an idea of when and where you’re going to meet up so you know it’s actually happening.\\nYou can confirm your plans by saying something like, “Okay cool, so drinks after work on Friday? What time do you get off?”\\nOr, “I’ll see you on Saturday to watch the game. What time should I head over?”\\nIf you don’t already have your friend’s number, now would be a good time to jot it down. That way, you can text or call them if you need confirmation or directions.\\n6. Include them in group plans you already have.\\nTake the pressure off your friend by inviting them along.\\nIf you’re already heading out with a group of people, ask them to tag along if they want to. That way, if they can’t go, they don’t have to feel super bad about it.\\nSay something like, “Hey, me and some buddies were gonna watch the game at my place on Sunday. Feel free to stop by if you want to!”\\nOr, “I’m meeting some friends at the river this weekend, I’d love it if you joined us.”\\n7. Let them contact you if they seem unsure.\\nIf your friend won’t commit to plans, put the ball in their court.\\nLet them know when you’re free and make sure they have your number. Tell them to call or text you if they want to hang out at any point, or ask them to meet you somewhere specific. Try something like:\\n“I’m free all day Saturday, so just give me a call if you want to hang out.”\\n“Feel free to text me once you get off work on Monday. I have the day off, so I won’t be doing much.”\\n“I’ll be at the mall later if you want to meet up. Text me if you decide to come!”\\n8. Don’t push it if they say no.\\nIf your friend seems uninterested, that’s okay!\\nIt doesn’t mean they don’t like you—they might just be super busy or not interested in the activity you had planned. If they say they’re not up for it and they don’t propose a different idea, it’s best to just drop it and wait for your friend to suggest something else.\\nSometimes, people will say no indirectly. They might say, “I’m just super busy right now,” or, “I don’t have a lot of free time.”\\nHowever, if your friend says, “I’m busy tomorrow, but what about next week?” that means they actually want to hang out soon. Try to work around their schedule to make time for them.\\nTips\\nIf you feel nervous about asking a friend to hang out, try texting them or asking them in private.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’ve recently made a new friend, you might be considering asking them to hang out one on one. While it can feel like a big step to take, it doesn’t have to be super nerve-wracking! Read through these tips to learn how you can ask someone to hang out with you in a cool, casual way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gauge their interest with an open-ended invitation.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you aren’t sure if they want to hang, try this.\", \"描述\": \"An open-ended invitation is a little less specific than a fully fleshed out plan. You can use this on newer friends to get a read on how interested they are in hanging out with you. Try saying something like:\\n“Do you want to go for a bike ride sometime soon?”\\n“We should go check out that new coffee shop.”\\n“What days are you usually free? Wanna hang out sometime?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep your phrasing casual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sounding too formal can be slightly off-putting.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of saying, “I’d like to invite you out on Saturday,” stick to something like, “Wanna come see the game with me this weekend?” You’ll sound more inviting, and your friend will be more likely to accept your offer.\\nStart your conversation with a friendly greeting like, \\\"Hey Billy, how are you doing? I hope you're doing well,\\\" to lead into the conversation.\\nStay away from anything self-deprecating, too. Something like, “I have such a hard time making friends… Wanna hang out?” can be a little off-putting, and it could put unnecessary pressure on your friend.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask what they’re up to on a certain day.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get more specific if you have an activity planned.\", \"描述\": \"This works well for things like concerts or activities that you need to buy tickets for. Be sure to follow up with the specific activity you had in mind so your friend knows why you’re asking. For example:\\n“Do you have any plans next weekend? I was thinking of getting tickets to the new exhibit at the museum downtown.”\\n“What are you doing Thursday after work? I’m going to see my favorite band, and tickets are pretty cheap. Wanna come with me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invite them to a short, low-key outing.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you two are new friends, try a quick, casual activity.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of inviting someone out for a multi-day camping trip, start with drinks after work or a session at the gym. Your friend will be more likely to accept if they know it isn’t something huge, especially if you two have never hung out before.\\nIf you’ve hung out a few times already, feel free to invite your friend on a larger hangout, like a boating trip or an afternoon of rock climbing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Lock down a time, date, and place.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"That way, there’s no confusion about your plans.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s fine to say you’re going to hangout “soon,” that doesn’t really mean much. If you actually want to hang out with your friend, get an idea of when and where you’re going to meet up so you know it’s actually happening.\\nYou can confirm your plans by saying something like, “Okay cool, so drinks after work on Friday? What time do you get off?”\\nOr, “I’ll see you on Saturday to watch the game. What time should I head over?”\\nIf you don’t already have your friend’s number, now would be a good time to jot it down. That way, you can text or call them if you need confirmation or directions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Include them in group plans you already have.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take the pressure off your friend by inviting them along.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re already heading out with a group of people, ask them to tag along if they want to. That way, if they can’t go, they don’t have to feel super bad about it.\\nSay something like, “Hey, me and some buddies were gonna watch the game at my place on Sunday. Feel free to stop by if you want to!”\\nOr, “I’m meeting some friends at the river this weekend, I’d love it if you joined us.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let them contact you if they seem unsure.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your friend won’t commit to plans, put the ball in their court.\", \"描述\": \"Let them know when you’re free and make sure they have your number. Tell them to call or text you if they want to hang out at any point, or ask them to meet you somewhere specific. Try something like:\\n“I’m free all day Saturday, so just give me a call if you want to hang out.”\\n“Feel free to text me once you get off work on Monday. I have the day off, so I won’t be doing much.”\\n“I’ll be at the mall later if you want to meet up. Text me if you decide to come!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t push it if they say no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your friend seems uninterested, that’s okay!\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t mean they don’t like you—they might just be super busy or not interested in the activity you had planned. If they say they’re not up for it and they don’t propose a different idea, it’s best to just drop it and wait for your friend to suggest something else.\\nSometimes, people will say no indirectly. They might say, “I’m just super busy right now,” or, “I don’t have a lot of free time.”\\nHowever, if your friend says, “I’m busy tomorrow, but what about next week?” that means they actually want to hang out soon. Try to work around their schedule to make time for them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you feel nervous about asking a friend to hang out, try texting them or asking them in private.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,537 | How to Ask a Friend to Return an Item They Borrowed | 1. Asking Your Friend for Your Item Directly
1-1. Be forward about asking for it back.
Be bold and come out with your request. Even if they’ve had it a long time, just assume they have intended to return it, and say, "I’d like to get my copy of X-Men back when we meet next." With that direct approach, embarrassment or common courtesy will likely cause them to return your item.
1-2. Ask a question about it.
By inquiring about the item you’ll be less confrontational. It suggests uncertainty, and allows your friend to be confident in their reply, as if they were the one who decided to return the item. Try a few of the following approaches:
"Are you done with my copy of Twilight? I’d like to have it back when you’re done."
”Hey, I’m looking for my hat, do you still have it?”
”Would you mind giving the video game back to me?”
1-3. Send a message regarding the item.
A message allows you to be direct without having to confront your friend. It’s easily less personal. There is possible misinterpretation, so be careful with your wording.
Facebook allows you a great way to send a message. Send a private message with just enough information to let your friend know you’d like the item back.
Shoot your friend a quick email. Nothing extravagant is needed. Just ask for your item back.
Text your friend. Ask for the item and include their favorite emoticon to make it less harsh.
1-4. Constantly bring it up.
Whenever you talk to your friend, bring it up. No matter the conversation, steer everything back to the loaned item. Your friend will quickly get the hint.
2. Using Humor to Get it Back
2-1. Shame your friend playfully.
Sometimes a bit of ribbing might be enough to prod a reaction. If some of the more subtle, painless approaches haven’t worked, you may need to ratchet up your approach.
Post on their Facebook wall. Be playful, and you’ll likely get some other friends joining in. If you have art skills, make a digital missing-poster of your item.
2-2. Joke about calling your friend's mother.
There is nothing worse than maternal pressure. Be sure to let your friend's mother know not to be too harsh.
2-3. Ask to borrow it back.
Technically, you’re not borrowing it since it’s yours, but it could be funny to ask in such a way. Play it up by begging a bit, "Could I borrow it back? Pretty please? I need it! I’ve always wanted one like that.”
2-4. Be sarcastic.
A slight bit of embarrassment can be minimized if sarcasm is used. Find a way to bring irony or humor to the situation.
”You’ve had it forever. Is there any tread left on the tire?”
”I’m pretty sure the shirt you borrowed won’t be in fashion by the time you give it back.”
”How many times have you beaten the game I lent you by now?”
"It's been so long since you borrowed it I forgot if it's a DVD or a VHS."
3. Being Nonchalant to Get it Back
3-1. Visit your friend.
Go on a social call to your friend’s house and act as if the visit is unrelated to the loaned item. Eventually get around to talking about the loaned item, or about something related to your loaned item.
A movie: “Remember that Halloween dance scene in Karate Kid?”
A tool: “My yard is a mess. I’ll have to weed eat for days.”
A clothing item: “What I really need is a black scarf to complement this outfit.”
3-2. Mention its presence during conversation.
Note the object in the room, something close enough to be picked up. When calmly talking about the item, mention you had the same item once. Maybe even say how much you enjoyed having it.
3-3. Pretend you forgot it.
When you’re near your friend and see the item, say, "You know what? I think this one is mine! Did I leave it here?" Playing dumb is often a good way to be less threatening. They won’t be able to deny the truth. They’ll likely mimic your feigned ignorance.
Tips
Recognize that different people respond to different communication styles. Some people just don't pick up on hints or respond well to confrontation. Use the approach best suited for your friend’s personality.[3]
X
Research source
Don't accuse your friend of not returning it on purpose unless you feel there is no other way to get your property back. It's very difficult to prove legally, and you'll likely lose a friend.[4]
X
Research source
Put your name on the item before you lend it. A sticker or piece of tape will do, or you could use a preprinted return address label.
Warnings
Sometimes friends are too scared to return something because they have damaged or lost it somehow. Be aware this may be the case and be ready to forgive them. If it had been so important and valuable to you in the first place, you shouldn't have given it to them as this is always a possibility.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Your Friend for Your Item Directly\\n1-1. Be forward about asking for it back.\\nBe bold and come out with your request. Even if they’ve had it a long time, just assume they have intended to return it, and say, \\\"I’d like to get my copy of X-Men back when we meet next.\\\" With that direct approach, embarrassment or common courtesy will likely cause them to return your item.\\n1-2. Ask a question about it.\\nBy inquiring about the item you’ll be less confrontational. It suggests uncertainty, and allows your friend to be confident in their reply, as if they were the one who decided to return the item. Try a few of the following approaches:\\n\\\"Are you done with my copy of Twilight? I’d like to have it back when you’re done.\\\"\\n”Hey, I’m looking for my hat, do you still have it?”\\n”Would you mind giving the video game back to me?”\\n1-3. Send a message regarding the item.\\nA message allows you to be direct without having to confront your friend. It’s easily less personal. There is possible misinterpretation, so be careful with your wording.\\nFacebook allows you a great way to send a message. Send a private message with just enough information to let your friend know you’d like the item back.\\nShoot your friend a quick email. Nothing extravagant is needed. Just ask for your item back.\\nText your friend. Ask for the item and include their favorite emoticon to make it less harsh.\\n1-4. Constantly bring it up.\\nWhenever you talk to your friend, bring it up. No matter the conversation, steer everything back to the loaned item. Your friend will quickly get the hint.\\n2. Using Humor to Get it Back\\n2-1. Shame your friend playfully.\\nSometimes a bit of ribbing might be enough to prod a reaction. If some of the more subtle, painless approaches haven’t worked, you may need to ratchet up your approach.\\nPost on their Facebook wall. Be playful, and you’ll likely get some other friends joining in. If you have art skills, make a digital missing-poster of your item.\\n2-2. Joke about calling your friend's mother.\\nThere is nothing worse than maternal pressure. Be sure to let your friend's mother know not to be too harsh.\\n2-3. Ask to borrow it back.\\nTechnically, you’re not borrowing it since it’s yours, but it could be funny to ask in such a way. Play it up by begging a bit, \\\"Could I borrow it back? Pretty please? I need it! I’ve always wanted one like that.”\\n2-4. Be sarcastic.\\nA slight bit of embarrassment can be minimized if sarcasm is used. Find a way to bring irony or humor to the situation.\\n”You’ve had it forever. Is there any tread left on the tire?”\\n”I’m pretty sure the shirt you borrowed won’t be in fashion by the time you give it back.”\\n”How many times have you beaten the game I lent you by now?”\\n\\\"It's been so long since you borrowed it I forgot if it's a DVD or a VHS.\\\"\\n3. Being Nonchalant to Get it Back\\n3-1. Visit your friend.\\nGo on a social call to your friend’s house and act as if the visit is unrelated to the loaned item. Eventually get around to talking about the loaned item, or about something related to your loaned item.\\nA movie: “Remember that Halloween dance scene in Karate Kid?”\\nA tool: “My yard is a mess. I’ll have to weed eat for days.”\\nA clothing item: “What I really need is a black scarf to complement this outfit.”\\n3-2. Mention its presence during conversation.\\nNote the object in the room, something close enough to be picked up. When calmly talking about the item, mention you had the same item once. Maybe even say how much you enjoyed having it.\\n3-3. Pretend you forgot it.\\nWhen you’re near your friend and see the item, say, \\\"You know what? I think this one is mine! Did I leave it here?\\\" Playing dumb is often a good way to be less threatening. They won’t be able to deny the truth. They’ll likely mimic your feigned ignorance.\\nTips\\nRecognize that different people respond to different communication styles. Some people just don't pick up on hints or respond well to confrontation. Use the approach best suited for your friend’s personality.[3]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't accuse your friend of not returning it on purpose unless you feel there is no other way to get your property back. It's very difficult to prove legally, and you'll likely lose a friend.[4]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nPut your name on the item before you lend it. A sticker or piece of tape will do, or you could use a preprinted return address label.\\nWarnings\\nSometimes friends are too scared to return something because they have damaged or lost it somehow. Be aware this may be the case and be ready to forgive them. If it had been so important and valuable to you in the first place, you shouldn't have given it to them as this is always a possibility.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you lend a friend an item, sometimes you never get it back. The item is forgotten or just kept as a gift. Many people feel awkward asking a friend to return something they borrowed because it’s often confrontational, and could damage the friendship. Try a few different approaches to minimize the stress of the situation.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Your Friend for Your Item Directly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be forward about asking for it back.\", \"描述\": \"Be bold and come out with your request. Even if they’ve had it a long time, just assume they have intended to return it, and say, \\\"I’d like to get my copy of X-Men back when we meet next.\\\" With that direct approach, embarrassment or common courtesy will likely cause them to return your item.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask a question about it.\", \"描述\": \"By inquiring about the item you’ll be less confrontational. It suggests uncertainty, and allows your friend to be confident in their reply, as if they were the one who decided to return the item. Try a few of the following approaches:\\n\\\"Are you done with my copy of Twilight? I’d like to have it back when you’re done.\\\"\\n”Hey, I’m looking for my hat, do you still have it?”\\n”Would you mind giving the video game back to me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send a message regarding the item.\", \"描述\": \"A message allows you to be direct without having to confront your friend. It’s easily less personal. There is possible misinterpretation, so be careful with your wording.\\nFacebook allows you a great way to send a message. Send a private message with just enough information to let your friend know you’d like the item back.\\nShoot your friend a quick email. Nothing extravagant is needed. Just ask for your item back.\\nText your friend. Ask for the item and include their favorite emoticon to make it less harsh.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Constantly bring it up.\", \"描述\": \"Whenever you talk to your friend, bring it up. No matter the conversation, steer everything back to the loaned item. Your friend will quickly get the hint.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Humor to Get it Back\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Shame your friend playfully.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes a bit of ribbing might be enough to prod a reaction. If some of the more subtle, painless approaches haven’t worked, you may need to ratchet up your approach.\\nPost on their Facebook wall. Be playful, and you’ll likely get some other friends joining in. If you have art skills, make a digital missing-poster of your item.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Joke about calling your friend's mother.\", \"描述\": \"There is nothing worse than maternal pressure. Be sure to let your friend's mother know not to be too harsh.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask to borrow it back.\", \"描述\": \"Technically, you’re not borrowing it since it’s yours, but it could be funny to ask in such a way. Play it up by begging a bit, \\\"Could I borrow it back? Pretty please? I need it! I’ve always wanted one like that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be sarcastic.\", \"描述\": \"A slight bit of embarrassment can be minimized if sarcasm is used. Find a way to bring irony or humor to the situation.\\n”You’ve had it forever. Is there any tread left on the tire?”\\n”I’m pretty sure the shirt you borrowed won’t be in fashion by the time you give it back.”\\n”How many times have you beaten the game I lent you by now?”\\n\\\"It's been so long since you borrowed it I forgot if it's a DVD or a VHS.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Nonchalant to Get it Back\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visit your friend.\", \"描述\": \"Go on a social call to your friend’s house and act as if the visit is unrelated to the loaned item. Eventually get around to talking about the loaned item, or about something related to your loaned item.\\nA movie: “Remember that Halloween dance scene in Karate Kid?”\\nA tool: “My yard is a mess. I’ll have to weed eat for days.”\\nA clothing item: “What I really need is a black scarf to complement this outfit.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Mention its presence during conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Note the object in the room, something close enough to be picked up. When calmly talking about the item, mention you had the same item once. Maybe even say how much you enjoyed having it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pretend you forgot it.\", \"描述\": \"When you’re near your friend and see the item, say, \\\"You know what? I think this one is mine! Did I leave it here?\\\" Playing dumb is often a good way to be less threatening. They won’t be able to deny the truth. They’ll likely mimic your feigned ignorance.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Recognize that different people respond to different communication styles. Some people just don't pick up on hints or respond well to confrontation. Use the approach best suited for your friend’s personality.[3]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't accuse your friend of not returning it on purpose unless you feel there is no other way to get your property back. It's very difficult to prove legally, and you'll likely lose a friend.[4]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Put your name on the item before you lend it. A sticker or piece of tape will do, or you could use a preprinted return address label.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Sometimes friends are too scared to return something because they have damaged or lost it somehow. Be aware this may be the case and be ready to forgive them. If it had been so important and valuable to you in the first place, you shouldn't have given it to them as this is always a possibility.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,538 | How to Ask a Girl's Parents for Permission to Date Her | 1. Introducing Yourself to Her Parents
1-1. Talk to her parents in person.
Show respect to her parents by making a special visit to their house. Discuss this with the girl, and see if her parents would be okay with having you over for dinner. Having their pre-approval will help relieve some of the tension.
She might say, “Mom and Dad, can Jared come over for dinner Wednesday night? He'd really like to get to know you guys better and talk to you about us going on a date." This will give her parents some time to think about this so you don’t spring a complete surprise on them. If you have already spent some time at her house and established yourself as a respectful and trustworthy person, her parents will likely be more open to the suggestion.
Understand that going in without her parents having any prior knowledge of you is going to be difficult — no matter how polite you are or how well you dress, you will still be a stranger.
1-2. Look nice.
Dress formally: Think about what you would wear to a nice dinner with your grandmother or to a religious service, and go with that. Make a good first impression.
Make sure you shower, or at least clean up, beforehand. You want to look as presentable as possible.
1-3. Introduce yourself.
Say your name, smile genuinely, and shake their hands. Call her parents by their titles and surnames, for example Mr. and Ms. Johnson, until they indicate otherwise.
If you have met them before, say something like, "Hi, Mr. and Ms. Johnson. It's really nice to see you again. Thank you for having me for dinner."
If this is your first time meeting you, you could say, “Hi, Mr. and Mr. Johnson. I’m Josh Green. It’s nice to meet you.”
Use a firm, confident handshake, and make eye contact as you say hello. Stand up straight and tall.
1-4. Let them lead the conversation.
Her parents will likely have plenty of questions for you. Try not to be overly eager to tell them about all your achievements. Allow the conversation to flow naturally. If they are concerned or curious about something, you can be sure that they will ask you about it.
They will likely ask about your family and friends, goals, and interests.
Mention anything that supports your claim that you are trustworthy and responsible — volunteer work, a job, and extracurricular activities can help vouch for your character.
You could say something like, “Right now I’m working as a lifeguard on the weekends and am busy with the swimming team during the week. I’m going to start teaching swimming lessons next month at the park district.”
1-5. Be polite but genuine.
Don't treat this like a formal job interview. Answer all their questions in a friendly, warm voice. Make sure you show interest in their lives by asking some questions, too. Showing genuine interest in other people leaves a positive impression when you meet someone for the first time.
Questions you can ask her parents include things like, “How long have you lived here?” or, “Did you grow up in this area?” You could also look for things you may have in common. For example, “Mr. Johnson, did you coach softball with my dad a few years ago?”
Make sure the conversation is a two-way street. Neither party should be doing all of the talking or asking all of the questions.
Don’t get distracted by your phone during your conversation. Looking at your phone while someone else is talking can be seen as extremely rude. Silence it, and keep it in your pocket as you are talking to her parents.
1-6. Tell the truth.
If you think you have a negative reputation with her parents, talk to them about it. Be honest with them, even if you have to admit to something you’d rather not. They will respect you far more for telling the truth than for lying to them. Lying to them will make them not trust you.
If they ask you about a poor past decision, for example, make sure you tell them what you have learned from it, and how you are different now. For example, you could say, “Yes, I was one of the kids who got suspended last year for the cafeteria prank. I feel really embarrassed about that now because I know how much extra work we made for the janitors. We sent them an apology card.”
1-7. Get to know her parents before asking if possible.
If possible, it is best to establish yourself with her parents before you ask their permission to date their daughter. Talk to the girl about arranging a group hang out at her house, or if she would be comfortable inviting you (and a few other friends) to a casual family gathering. This will give you an opportunity to lay some groundwork and become a friendly and familiar face in her household. This way, when you go to ask them for permission, they will already know that you are a trustworthy person and a good influence.
One way to show that you are a positive influence is to go over to the girl's house to study. Stay focused on studying to prove that you are a mature and responsible person.
2. Asking Their Permission
2-1. Make sure they know their daughter wants to date you.
Let her parents know that their daughter is interested in getting to know you better, but that you both wanted to talk to her parents to see if it was okay with them first.
You could say, “Lucia told me that she knew how important it was that you meet people who wanted to go out with her. So I wanted to respect her and her family by coming here to ask your permission to take her on a date.”
Acknowledge that the decision is also their daughter’s. You could say, “I wanted to get your permission to go on a date with your daughter, but I also understand that it’s up to her, too. If she’s not interested anymore, I understand.”
2-2. Talk to them about why you want to date their daughter.
Talk about what you like about her personality and why you want to get to know her better. Talk about things you have in common. Convince them of the value of your relationship.
You could say, “Ann and I were lab partners last semester and we became friends. She is fun to talk to. I think we bonded over our love of science fiction movies.”
Do not say anything about her physical attributes. Only talk about her personality. Telling her parents that you think their daughter is hot will probably get you kicked out of the house fast!
2-3. Ask if you have their permission.
Once you have introduced yourself and made your case about why you want to date their daughter, it’s time to ask the question. Stay calm, remain polite and friendly, and ask if you can take their daughter on a date. Tell them about what kind of date you would like to go on.
You could say, “I really would like to get to know your daughter better, and I think she feels the same way about me. Do we have your permission to go out on a date?”
You could say, “I was thinking about taking Emily to the school play next week, then going out for dessert afterward. We’d probably be home by 9:30. Would that be okay?”
If they seem reluctant to let you go on a one-on-one date, you could ask if it would be okay to go on a group date with the daughter. Make sure they know the other people in the group. You could say, “A few of us in my youth group are going out to dinner next week. I think you know Laura and Maya? We’d all like to have Emily join us.”
2-4. Agree to their conditions.
Accept their answer politely and graciously, and understand their decision. If they say no, talk to them about it and try to understand why.
They may say they think their daughter is too young to date. You could ask, “Would it be okay if we went out together in a group?”
They may say you could go out together as long as you are not out too late. Be agreeable and say, “No problem. I have a 10 o’clock curfew. Does that work for you, or does she need to be home earlier?”
If this is their first time meeting you, they may say they'd like to get to know you better. You might say, "We have a test coming up next week. Maybe I could come over Sunday afternoon and we could study here?"
If they say no to everything, you could ask, “Do you think we could talk about this again in a few months?” Accept that you may need to wait a little bit to date, but you may still have other ways to see their daughter in a school, extracurricular, or social setting.
3. Proving You’re Responsible
3-1. Keep your word.
Show that you are a trustworthy person. If her parents have initially put strict limits on how you can spend time with their daughter, keeping your word and being reliable may help them give you more freedom and responsibility over time.
Be at the location you told her parents you’d be going. If you told them you are going to see a movie, be at the movie theater watching the movie you said you were going to see at that particular time. Don’t go to another movie or be somewhere else entirely. If her parents find out you are lying about your whereabouts, that will likely put a stop to your relationship.
Be on time. Bring her home when you say you are going to. If you absolutely can't avoid being late (for example, you're caught in an unexpected traffic jam), let the parents know as soon as possible. Then try to avoid circumstances that would cause you to be late again, such as going somewhere within walking distance rather than driving.
Have safe and reliable transportation. Let her parents know how you are getting there and back. If they are not comfortable with you driving, for example, propose alternatives without argument.
3-2. Provide your contact information.
Give them your phone number. Return their calls or texts promptly. You could also give them your address and your parents’ phone numbers, so they have other ways to get in touch with you. Parents like to know how to get in touch easily.
You could ask your parents to talk to her parents. Be brave and ask your own parents if her parents could call them with any questions about your character.
If your home life isn’t great and don’t think your parents could speak well of your character, you could ask another trusted adult in your life to talk to her parents if necessary.
3-3. Avoid sneaking around.
Respect the limits her parents set, even if you disagree with them. If her parents catch the two of you going behind their backs, it will be very difficult for you to regain their trust and move forward with your relationship with their daughter.
If the girl you like wants to sneak around, don’t go along with it. Ask her to be honest with her parents and try to talk to them. You could say, “Look, I really like you, but I want to respect your parents’ wishes. Do you think you could try talking to them again?”
3-4. Work hard in school.
Parents are more likely to trust someone who is known to be a good student. Make sure you and the girl are keeping up with your studies. Her parents will be more likely to put limits on your relationship if she is not doing her best at school.
Offer to come over to her house and study for tests with her. Do your work in a room in the house where her parents can keep an eye on you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Introducing Yourself to Her Parents\\n1-1. Talk to her parents in person.\\nShow respect to her parents by making a special visit to their house. Discuss this with the girl, and see if her parents would be okay with having you over for dinner. Having their pre-approval will help relieve some of the tension.\\nShe might say, “Mom and Dad, can Jared come over for dinner Wednesday night? He'd really like to get to know you guys better and talk to you about us going on a date.\\\" This will give her parents some time to think about this so you don’t spring a complete surprise on them. If you have already spent some time at her house and established yourself as a respectful and trustworthy person, her parents will likely be more open to the suggestion.\\nUnderstand that going in without her parents having any prior knowledge of you is going to be difficult — no matter how polite you are or how well you dress, you will still be a stranger.\\n1-2. Look nice.\\nDress formally: Think about what you would wear to a nice dinner with your grandmother or to a religious service, and go with that. Make a good first impression.\\nMake sure you shower, or at least clean up, beforehand. You want to look as presentable as possible.\\n1-3. Introduce yourself.\\nSay your name, smile genuinely, and shake their hands. Call her parents by their titles and surnames, for example Mr. and Ms. Johnson, until they indicate otherwise.\\nIf you have met them before, say something like, \\\"Hi, Mr. and Ms. Johnson. It's really nice to see you again. Thank you for having me for dinner.\\\"\\nIf this is your first time meeting you, you could say, “Hi, Mr. and Mr. Johnson. I’m Josh Green. It’s nice to meet you.”\\nUse a firm, confident handshake, and make eye contact as you say hello. Stand up straight and tall.\\n1-4. Let them lead the conversation.\\nHer parents will likely have plenty of questions for you. Try not to be overly eager to tell them about all your achievements. Allow the conversation to flow naturally. If they are concerned or curious about something, you can be sure that they will ask you about it.\\nThey will likely ask about your family and friends, goals, and interests.\\nMention anything that supports your claim that you are trustworthy and responsible — volunteer work, a job, and extracurricular activities can help vouch for your character.\\nYou could say something like, “Right now I’m working as a lifeguard on the weekends and am busy with the swimming team during the week. I’m going to start teaching swimming lessons next month at the park district.”\\n1-5. Be polite but genuine.\\nDon't treat this like a formal job interview. Answer all their questions in a friendly, warm voice. Make sure you show interest in their lives by asking some questions, too. Showing genuine interest in other people leaves a positive impression when you meet someone for the first time.\\nQuestions you can ask her parents include things like, “How long have you lived here?” or, “Did you grow up in this area?” You could also look for things you may have in common. For example, “Mr. Johnson, did you coach softball with my dad a few years ago?”\\nMake sure the conversation is a two-way street. Neither party should be doing all of the talking or asking all of the questions.\\nDon’t get distracted by your phone during your conversation. Looking at your phone while someone else is talking can be seen as extremely rude. Silence it, and keep it in your pocket as you are talking to her parents.\\n1-6. Tell the truth.\\nIf you think you have a negative reputation with her parents, talk to them about it. Be honest with them, even if you have to admit to something you’d rather not. They will respect you far more for telling the truth than for lying to them. Lying to them will make them not trust you.\\nIf they ask you about a poor past decision, for example, make sure you tell them what you have learned from it, and how you are different now. For example, you could say, “Yes, I was one of the kids who got suspended last year for the cafeteria prank. I feel really embarrassed about that now because I know how much extra work we made for the janitors. We sent them an apology card.”\\n1-7. Get to know her parents before asking if possible.\\nIf possible, it is best to establish yourself with her parents before you ask their permission to date their daughter. Talk to the girl about arranging a group hang out at her house, or if she would be comfortable inviting you (and a few other friends) to a casual family gathering. This will give you an opportunity to lay some groundwork and become a friendly and familiar face in her household. This way, when you go to ask them for permission, they will already know that you are a trustworthy person and a good influence.\\nOne way to show that you are a positive influence is to go over to the girl's house to study. Stay focused on studying to prove that you are a mature and responsible person.\\n2. Asking Their Permission\\n2-1. Make sure they know their daughter wants to date you.\\nLet her parents know that their daughter is interested in getting to know you better, but that you both wanted to talk to her parents to see if it was okay with them first.\\nYou could say, “Lucia told me that she knew how important it was that you meet people who wanted to go out with her. So I wanted to respect her and her family by coming here to ask your permission to take her on a date.”\\nAcknowledge that the decision is also their daughter’s. You could say, “I wanted to get your permission to go on a date with your daughter, but I also understand that it’s up to her, too. If she’s not interested anymore, I understand.”\\n2-2. Talk to them about why you want to date their daughter.\\nTalk about what you like about her personality and why you want to get to know her better. Talk about things you have in common. Convince them of the value of your relationship.\\nYou could say, “Ann and I were lab partners last semester and we became friends. She is fun to talk to. I think we bonded over our love of science fiction movies.”\\nDo not say anything about her physical attributes. Only talk about her personality. Telling her parents that you think their daughter is hot will probably get you kicked out of the house fast!\\n2-3. Ask if you have their permission.\\nOnce you have introduced yourself and made your case about why you want to date their daughter, it’s time to ask the question. Stay calm, remain polite and friendly, and ask if you can take their daughter on a date. Tell them about what kind of date you would like to go on.\\nYou could say, “I really would like to get to know your daughter better, and I think she feels the same way about me. Do we have your permission to go out on a date?”\\nYou could say, “I was thinking about taking Emily to the school play next week, then going out for dessert afterward. We’d probably be home by 9:30. Would that be okay?”\\nIf they seem reluctant to let you go on a one-on-one date, you could ask if it would be okay to go on a group date with the daughter. Make sure they know the other people in the group. You could say, “A few of us in my youth group are going out to dinner next week. I think you know Laura and Maya? We’d all like to have Emily join us.”\\n2-4. Agree to their conditions.\\nAccept their answer politely and graciously, and understand their decision. If they say no, talk to them about it and try to understand why.\\nThey may say they think their daughter is too young to date. You could ask, “Would it be okay if we went out together in a group?”\\nThey may say you could go out together as long as you are not out too late. Be agreeable and say, “No problem. I have a 10 o’clock curfew. Does that work for you, or does she need to be home earlier?”\\nIf this is their first time meeting you, they may say they'd like to get to know you better. You might say, \\\"We have a test coming up next week. Maybe I could come over Sunday afternoon and we could study here?\\\"\\nIf they say no to everything, you could ask, “Do you think we could talk about this again in a few months?” Accept that you may need to wait a little bit to date, but you may still have other ways to see their daughter in a school, extracurricular, or social setting.\\n3. Proving You’re Responsible\\n3-1. Keep your word.\\nShow that you are a trustworthy person. If her parents have initially put strict limits on how you can spend time with their daughter, keeping your word and being reliable may help them give you more freedom and responsibility over time.\\nBe at the location you told her parents you’d be going. If you told them you are going to see a movie, be at the movie theater watching the movie you said you were going to see at that particular time. Don’t go to another movie or be somewhere else entirely. If her parents find out you are lying about your whereabouts, that will likely put a stop to your relationship.\\nBe on time. Bring her home when you say you are going to. If you absolutely can't avoid being late (for example, you're caught in an unexpected traffic jam), let the parents know as soon as possible. Then try to avoid circumstances that would cause you to be late again, such as going somewhere within walking distance rather than driving.\\nHave safe and reliable transportation. Let her parents know how you are getting there and back. If they are not comfortable with you driving, for example, propose alternatives without argument.\\n3-2. Provide your contact information.\\nGive them your phone number. Return their calls or texts promptly. You could also give them your address and your parents’ phone numbers, so they have other ways to get in touch with you. Parents like to know how to get in touch easily.\\nYou could ask your parents to talk to her parents. Be brave and ask your own parents if her parents could call them with any questions about your character.\\nIf your home life isn’t great and don’t think your parents could speak well of your character, you could ask another trusted adult in your life to talk to her parents if necessary.\\n3-3. Avoid sneaking around.\\nRespect the limits her parents set, even if you disagree with them. If her parents catch the two of you going behind their backs, it will be very difficult for you to regain their trust and move forward with your relationship with their daughter.\\nIf the girl you like wants to sneak around, don’t go along with it. Ask her to be honest with her parents and try to talk to them. You could say, “Look, I really like you, but I want to respect your parents’ wishes. Do you think you could try talking to them again?”\\n3-4. Work hard in school.\\nParents are more likely to trust someone who is known to be a good student. Make sure you and the girl are keeping up with your studies. Her parents will be more likely to put limits on your relationship if she is not doing her best at school.\\nOffer to come over to her house and study for tests with her. Do your work in a room in the house where her parents can keep an eye on you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Though it may seem old-fashioned, some girl's parents may have strict dating rules which may include having to ask them for permission to date their daughter. It is likely that her parents want to get to know you first so that they can see that you are a trustworthy person. Do your best to make a positive first impression and then ask their permission politely, accepting their terms graciously, even if they say \\\"no.\\\"\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introducing Yourself to Her Parents\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to her parents in person.\", \"描述\": \"Show respect to her parents by making a special visit to their house. Discuss this with the girl, and see if her parents would be okay with having you over for dinner. Having their pre-approval will help relieve some of the tension.\\nShe might say, “Mom and Dad, can Jared come over for dinner Wednesday night? He'd really like to get to know you guys better and talk to you about us going on a date.\\\" This will give her parents some time to think about this so you don’t spring a complete surprise on them. If you have already spent some time at her house and established yourself as a respectful and trustworthy person, her parents will likely be more open to the suggestion.\\nUnderstand that going in without her parents having any prior knowledge of you is going to be difficult — no matter how polite you are or how well you dress, you will still be a stranger.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look nice.\", \"描述\": \"Dress formally: Think about what you would wear to a nice dinner with your grandmother or to a religious service, and go with that. Make a good first impression.\\nMake sure you shower, or at least clean up, beforehand. You want to look as presentable as possible.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Say your name, smile genuinely, and shake their hands. Call her parents by their titles and surnames, for example Mr. and Ms. Johnson, until they indicate otherwise.\\nIf you have met them before, say something like, \\\"Hi, Mr. and Ms. Johnson. It's really nice to see you again. Thank you for having me for dinner.\\\"\\nIf this is your first time meeting you, you could say, “Hi, Mr. and Mr. Johnson. I’m Josh Green. It’s nice to meet you.”\\nUse a firm, confident handshake, and make eye contact as you say hello. Stand up straight and tall.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let them lead the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Her parents will likely have plenty of questions for you. Try not to be overly eager to tell them about all your achievements. Allow the conversation to flow naturally. If they are concerned or curious about something, you can be sure that they will ask you about it.\\nThey will likely ask about your family and friends, goals, and interests.\\nMention anything that supports your claim that you are trustworthy and responsible — volunteer work, a job, and extracurricular activities can help vouch for your character.\\nYou could say something like, “Right now I’m working as a lifeguard on the weekends and am busy with the swimming team during the week. I’m going to start teaching swimming lessons next month at the park district.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be polite but genuine.\", \"描述\": \"Don't treat this like a formal job interview. Answer all their questions in a friendly, warm voice. Make sure you show interest in their lives by asking some questions, too. Showing genuine interest in other people leaves a positive impression when you meet someone for the first time.\\nQuestions you can ask her parents include things like, “How long have you lived here?” or, “Did you grow up in this area?” You could also look for things you may have in common. For example, “Mr. Johnson, did you coach softball with my dad a few years ago?”\\nMake sure the conversation is a two-way street. Neither party should be doing all of the talking or asking all of the questions.\\nDon’t get distracted by your phone during your conversation. Looking at your phone while someone else is talking can be seen as extremely rude. Silence it, and keep it in your pocket as you are talking to her parents.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell the truth.\", \"描述\": \"If you think you have a negative reputation with her parents, talk to them about it. Be honest with them, even if you have to admit to something you’d rather not. They will respect you far more for telling the truth than for lying to them. Lying to them will make them not trust you.\\nIf they ask you about a poor past decision, for example, make sure you tell them what you have learned from it, and how you are different now. For example, you could say, “Yes, I was one of the kids who got suspended last year for the cafeteria prank. I feel really embarrassed about that now because I know how much extra work we made for the janitors. We sent them an apology card.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Get to know her parents before asking if possible.\", \"描述\": \"If possible, it is best to establish yourself with her parents before you ask their permission to date their daughter. Talk to the girl about arranging a group hang out at her house, or if she would be comfortable inviting you (and a few other friends) to a casual family gathering. This will give you an opportunity to lay some groundwork and become a friendly and familiar face in her household. This way, when you go to ask them for permission, they will already know that you are a trustworthy person and a good influence.\\nOne way to show that you are a positive influence is to go over to the girl's house to study. Stay focused on studying to prove that you are a mature and responsible person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Their Permission\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure they know their daughter wants to date you.\", \"描述\": \"Let her parents know that their daughter is interested in getting to know you better, but that you both wanted to talk to her parents to see if it was okay with them first.\\nYou could say, “Lucia told me that she knew how important it was that you meet people who wanted to go out with her. So I wanted to respect her and her family by coming here to ask your permission to take her on a date.”\\nAcknowledge that the decision is also their daughter’s. You could say, “I wanted to get your permission to go on a date with your daughter, but I also understand that it’s up to her, too. If she’s not interested anymore, I understand.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to them about why you want to date their daughter.\", \"描述\": \"Talk about what you like about her personality and why you want to get to know her better. Talk about things you have in common. Convince them of the value of your relationship.\\nYou could say, “Ann and I were lab partners last semester and we became friends. She is fun to talk to. I think we bonded over our love of science fiction movies.”\\nDo not say anything about her physical attributes. Only talk about her personality. Telling her parents that you think their daughter is hot will probably get you kicked out of the house fast!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask if you have their permission.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have introduced yourself and made your case about why you want to date their daughter, it’s time to ask the question. Stay calm, remain polite and friendly, and ask if you can take their daughter on a date. Tell them about what kind of date you would like to go on.\\nYou could say, “I really would like to get to know your daughter better, and I think she feels the same way about me. Do we have your permission to go out on a date?”\\nYou could say, “I was thinking about taking Emily to the school play next week, then going out for dessert afterward. We’d probably be home by 9:30. Would that be okay?”\\nIf they seem reluctant to let you go on a one-on-one date, you could ask if it would be okay to go on a group date with the daughter. Make sure they know the other people in the group. You could say, “A few of us in my youth group are going out to dinner next week. I think you know Laura and Maya? We’d all like to have Emily join us.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Agree to their conditions.\", \"描述\": \"Accept their answer politely and graciously, and understand their decision. If they say no, talk to them about it and try to understand why.\\nThey may say they think their daughter is too young to date. You could ask, “Would it be okay if we went out together in a group?”\\nThey may say you could go out together as long as you are not out too late. Be agreeable and say, “No problem. I have a 10 o’clock curfew. Does that work for you, or does she need to be home earlier?”\\nIf this is their first time meeting you, they may say they'd like to get to know you better. You might say, \\\"We have a test coming up next week. Maybe I could come over Sunday afternoon and we could study here?\\\"\\nIf they say no to everything, you could ask, “Do you think we could talk about this again in a few months?” Accept that you may need to wait a little bit to date, but you may still have other ways to see their daughter in a school, extracurricular, or social setting.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Proving You’re Responsible\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your word.\", \"描述\": \"Show that you are a trustworthy person. If her parents have initially put strict limits on how you can spend time with their daughter, keeping your word and being reliable may help them give you more freedom and responsibility over time.\\nBe at the location you told her parents you’d be going. If you told them you are going to see a movie, be at the movie theater watching the movie you said you were going to see at that particular time. Don’t go to another movie or be somewhere else entirely. If her parents find out you are lying about your whereabouts, that will likely put a stop to your relationship.\\nBe on time. Bring her home when you say you are going to. If you absolutely can't avoid being late (for example, you're caught in an unexpected traffic jam), let the parents know as soon as possible. Then try to avoid circumstances that would cause you to be late again, such as going somewhere within walking distance rather than driving.\\nHave safe and reliable transportation. Let her parents know how you are getting there and back. If they are not comfortable with you driving, for example, propose alternatives without argument.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Provide your contact information.\", \"描述\": \"Give them your phone number. Return their calls or texts promptly. You could also give them your address and your parents’ phone numbers, so they have other ways to get in touch with you. Parents like to know how to get in touch easily.\\nYou could ask your parents to talk to her parents. Be brave and ask your own parents if her parents could call them with any questions about your character.\\nIf your home life isn’t great and don’t think your parents could speak well of your character, you could ask another trusted adult in your life to talk to her parents if necessary.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid sneaking around.\", \"描述\": \"Respect the limits her parents set, even if you disagree with them. If her parents catch the two of you going behind their backs, it will be very difficult for you to regain their trust and move forward with your relationship with their daughter.\\nIf the girl you like wants to sneak around, don’t go along with it. Ask her to be honest with her parents and try to talk to them. You could say, “Look, I really like you, but I want to respect your parents’ wishes. Do you think you could try talking to them again?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Work hard in school.\", \"描述\": \"Parents are more likely to trust someone who is known to be a good student. Make sure you and the girl are keeping up with your studies. Her parents will be more likely to put limits on your relationship if she is not doing her best at school.\\nOffer to come over to her house and study for tests with her. Do your work in a room in the house where her parents can keep an eye on you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,539 | How to Ask a Girl Out | 1. Asking Her in Person
1-1. Plan what you’re going to say so you feel more confident.
Having a plan will help you be more direct so that there are no misunderstandings. You want her to know that you’re asking her out in a romantic sense, not just as friends. You don’t have to repeat a script word-for-word, but you’ll feel more comfortable if you have a general idea of what to say. Here are some examples of things you could plan to say:
“I got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert in August. Would you want to come with me as my date?”
“Would you like to go to the new bookstore and grab a coffee together afterward?”
“I’d love to take you out to dinner next weekend. How about the new Thai place?”
If you’re really shy, use that to your advantage. You can even plan to say something like, “You know I’m a pretty shy person, so this is a little awkward for me, but I wanted to tell you that I think you’re really nice and have a great sense of humor. Would you want to go play mini-golf next weekend?”
1-2. Wait to ask her until you’re fairly certain she’ll be in a good mood.
If you notice that she seems sad or angry about something, it might not be the best time to ask her out on a date. Try to catch her after something good happens, like if she gets a good grade on a test or gets an interview for a job she wants.
Asking a girl out in person can be nerve-wracking! To help ease your anxiety, set a deadline for yourself and commit to asking her before that date. Once you start the conversation, it’ll just take a few minutes to ask her out.
1-3. Talk to her when she’s by herself so you don’t have an audience.
If a girl is with a group of friends when you try to ask her out, she may get embarrassed or not be able to talk openly because she might feel uncomfortable about how many people are watching your interaction. Plan out a way that you can comfortably talk to her one-on-one.
You could ask to walk her to her next class.
You could ask her to wait up after a meeting because you have a question for her.
You could even send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere.
1-4. Make eye contact
When you get her one-on-one and are ready to ask her out, take a calming breath. Smile, make gentle eye contact, and stand up straight. Avoid slouching over, staring at the ground, or mumbling. Remember, you don’t need to say more than 2-3 sentences.
If you’re nervous, practice what you’re going to say in front of a mirror several times.
You could also record yourself asking her out. Play it back to yourself to see how you sound and make any adjustments that you need to. Do you say “umm” or pause a lot? Keep practicing until your question sounds natural.
1-5. Ask her out!
Once you’ve gotten her attention and are talking to her, you just need to take a deep breath and calmly ask her on a date. Say something like, “Would you like to grab a drink at the new coffeehouse this Sunday?” or “I’d like to get to know you better. What do you think about taking our dogs out for a walk something this weekend?” Remember to be direct and confident.
If you want to do something a little more romantic, consider something like having flowers delivered to her house. Then, follow up with her in person and say something like, “I hope you liked the flowers I sent. What do you think about going out this weekend?”
You could also do something a little out of the box, like have a pizza delivered to her with a note attached that says something like, “This is a little cheesy, but I’d love to go out to dinner with you this weekend.”
1-6. Respond positively, no matter what her answer is.
In the best-case scenario, she said yes and you can move on to preparing for your date! If she turned you down, it’s normal to feel a little bummed. Do your best to not take it personally; try to view it as a “not the right time, not the right person” situation, and move on as best you can.
Definitely don’t try to convince her that she is making a mistake. She knows what she wants and trying to make her do something else will make her feel uncomfortable.
Try saying something like, “No worries—I’m glad I at least asked and don’t have to wonder! I hope you have a great day.” Be sincere and try to smile and not sound sarcastic.
2. Using Texting and Social Media
2-1. Use text or social media if that’s how you normally communicate.
A lot of dates are arranged via text, DM, social media, and in other similar ways. When deciding how to ask a girl out, pick whichever method feels most natural to your normal way of communicating.
Keep in mind that you’ll want to be really clear via text so that your intentions aren’t misunderstood.
2-2. Pick an activity to ask her to do before you send your message.
Rather than being vague and asking her to just “hang out” or what she’s up to that weekend, pick something fun that you think you’d both enjoy. This gives her something to respond to, and you won’t be left wondering what to do if she says yes. Here are some great first date ideas:
Go to an arcade or to play mini-golf
Go to a coffee shop and a used bookstore
Plan a movie marathon
Go to an admission-free art exhibit or festival
Volunteer at the local animal shelter to walk and play with the animals
Make homemade pizza and do a puzzle together
2-3. Keep the text short, sweet, and specific.
Send her a message that says something simple like, “Hey Kate, I think you’re really cute. Want to go play arcade games and get something to eat this Friday?” Telling her you think she’s attractive clues her in that this is a romantic message and not just a friendly one.
Remember to ask about a specific activity. For example, “Would you like to go out on a date with me next Saturday? I thought we could get dinner and go see a movie,” sounds much more romantic than, “Want to hang out sometime next weekend?” The latter could be misinterpreted.
Text isn’t the only option—you could use DMs in different social media apps or send a cool video through Instagram or Snapchat.
2-4. Accept her answer and respond quickly even if she turns you down.
If you get rejected, don’t wait too long to reply. You could say something like, “That’s okay! I just wanted to ask. I still think you’re cool and will see you in class.” It’s not fun to get rejected, but it is a normal experience and doesn’t mean anything bad about you as a person. It’s just not the right fit right now.
If you do get rejected, reassure yourself that at least now you know. You won’t be left wondering what could have happened, and you have more practice under your belt for the next time you decide to ask a girl out.
2-5. Make plans for your first date if she says yes.
Hopefully, you got a positive response to your message! Firm up the details for the date, put it in your calendar, and take a few minutes to celebrate how well things went.
Either the day before or the day of your date, send her a message letting her know you’re looking forward to hanging out.
3. Gauging Her Interest Level
3-1. Find out if she is already dating or interested in someone else.
You may already know this info, but if not, it’ll come in handy when deciding when or if to ask her out. Pay attention to the people she talks about often. If they aren’t regular friends of hers, it may be someone she is interested in romantically. Check out her social media to see if there are any clues there, too.
You could even turn this into an opportunity to get to know her better by asking something like, “Tell me more about some of the people you’ve dated,” or “Did your last relationship end well?”
3-2. Check to see if you catch her staring at you.
When someone looks at your frequently, that can often mean that they’re interested in you. Especially if you are already friends, this can be a great indicator that she may be developing feelings for you.
If you don’t notice this, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t interested or that you shouldn’t ask her out. It’s just one way you might be able to tell if her feelings toward you have changed.
3-3. Observe her body language to tell if she is interested in you or not.
Does she approach you and stand or sit near you? Does she touch your arm or shoulder? These signs may not mean that she likes you romantically, but they show that she doesn’t dislike you. They mean she is comfortable around you and generally likes you as a person. This is a great sign!
Your chances of getting a “yes” when you ask her out are much higher if a girl likes you as a person.
On the flip side, if she avoids you, doesn’t make eye contact, or moves away when you’re close by, those are clear signs that she doesn’t want to spend time with you.
3-4. Flirt
Make longer-than-usual eye contact and smile at her. Touch her gently on the arm or shoulder to make physical contact. Compliment her looks and her intelligence.
Compliment her. To compliment a girl, you could say something like, “That sweater brings out the color of your eyes,” or “You did a great job on your presentation today. I wish I could speak in front of people like you.”
Tips
If you’re asking a girl out in person, make sure to brush your teeth and wear clean clothes so that you look and smell good.
If you’re trying to get to know this girl, try asking her open-ended questions.
Don’t be afraid to show off your unique personality. Being yourself is the best way to attract someone!
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"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Her in Person\\n1-1. Plan what you’re going to say so you feel more confident.\\nHaving a plan will help you be more direct so that there are no misunderstandings. You want her to know that you’re asking her out in a romantic sense, not just as friends. You don’t have to repeat a script word-for-word, but you’ll feel more comfortable if you have a general idea of what to say. Here are some examples of things you could plan to say:\\n“I got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert in August. Would you want to come with me as my date?”\\n“Would you like to go to the new bookstore and grab a coffee together afterward?”\\n“I’d love to take you out to dinner next weekend. How about the new Thai place?”\\nIf you’re really shy, use that to your advantage. You can even plan to say something like, “You know I’m a pretty shy person, so this is a little awkward for me, but I wanted to tell you that I think you’re really nice and have a great sense of humor. Would you want to go play mini-golf next weekend?”\\n1-2. Wait to ask her until you’re fairly certain she’ll be in a good mood.\\nIf you notice that she seems sad or angry about something, it might not be the best time to ask her out on a date. Try to catch her after something good happens, like if she gets a good grade on a test or gets an interview for a job she wants.\\nAsking a girl out in person can be nerve-wracking! To help ease your anxiety, set a deadline for yourself and commit to asking her before that date. Once you start the conversation, it’ll just take a few minutes to ask her out.\\n1-3. Talk to her when she’s by herself so you don’t have an audience.\\nIf a girl is with a group of friends when you try to ask her out, she may get embarrassed or not be able to talk openly because she might feel uncomfortable about how many people are watching your interaction. Plan out a way that you can comfortably talk to her one-on-one.\\nYou could ask to walk her to her next class.\\nYou could ask her to wait up after a meeting because you have a question for her.\\nYou could even send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere.\\n1-4. Make eye contact\\nWhen you get her one-on-one and are ready to ask her out, take a calming breath. Smile, make gentle eye contact, and stand up straight. Avoid slouching over, staring at the ground, or mumbling. Remember, you don’t need to say more than 2-3 sentences.\\nIf you’re nervous, practice what you’re going to say in front of a mirror several times.\\nYou could also record yourself asking her out. Play it back to yourself to see how you sound and make any adjustments that you need to. Do you say “umm” or pause a lot? Keep practicing until your question sounds natural.\\n1-5. Ask her out!\\nOnce you’ve gotten her attention and are talking to her, you just need to take a deep breath and calmly ask her on a date. Say something like, “Would you like to grab a drink at the new coffeehouse this Sunday?” or “I’d like to get to know you better. What do you think about taking our dogs out for a walk something this weekend?” Remember to be direct and confident.\\nIf you want to do something a little more romantic, consider something like having flowers delivered to her house. Then, follow up with her in person and say something like, “I hope you liked the flowers I sent. What do you think about going out this weekend?”\\nYou could also do something a little out of the box, like have a pizza delivered to her with a note attached that says something like, “This is a little cheesy, but I’d love to go out to dinner with you this weekend.”\\n1-6. Respond positively, no matter what her answer is.\\nIn the best-case scenario, she said yes and you can move on to preparing for your date! If she turned you down, it’s normal to feel a little bummed. Do your best to not take it personally; try to view it as a “not the right time, not the right person” situation, and move on as best you can.\\nDefinitely don’t try to convince her that she is making a mistake. She knows what she wants and trying to make her do something else will make her feel uncomfortable.\\nTry saying something like, “No worries—I’m glad I at least asked and don’t have to wonder! I hope you have a great day.” Be sincere and try to smile and not sound sarcastic.\\n2. Using Texting and Social Media\\n2-1. Use text or social media if that’s how you normally communicate.\\nA lot of dates are arranged via text, DM, social media, and in other similar ways. When deciding how to ask a girl out, pick whichever method feels most natural to your normal way of communicating.\\nKeep in mind that you’ll want to be really clear via text so that your intentions aren’t misunderstood.\\n2-2. Pick an activity to ask her to do before you send your message.\\nRather than being vague and asking her to just “hang out” or what she’s up to that weekend, pick something fun that you think you’d both enjoy. This gives her something to respond to, and you won’t be left wondering what to do if she says yes. Here are some great first date ideas:\\nGo to an arcade or to play mini-golf\\nGo to a coffee shop and a used bookstore\\nPlan a movie marathon\\nGo to an admission-free art exhibit or festival\\nVolunteer at the local animal shelter to walk and play with the animals\\nMake homemade pizza and do a puzzle together\\n2-3. Keep the text short, sweet, and specific.\\nSend her a message that says something simple like, “Hey Kate, I think you’re really cute. Want to go play arcade games and get something to eat this Friday?” Telling her you think she’s attractive clues her in that this is a romantic message and not just a friendly one.\\nRemember to ask about a specific activity. For example, “Would you like to go out on a date with me next Saturday? I thought we could get dinner and go see a movie,” sounds much more romantic than, “Want to hang out sometime next weekend?” The latter could be misinterpreted.\\nText isn’t the only option—you could use DMs in different social media apps or send a cool video through Instagram or Snapchat.\\n2-4. Accept her answer and respond quickly even if she turns you down.\\nIf you get rejected, don’t wait too long to reply. You could say something like, “That’s okay! I just wanted to ask. I still think you’re cool and will see you in class.” It’s not fun to get rejected, but it is a normal experience and doesn’t mean anything bad about you as a person. It’s just not the right fit right now.\\nIf you do get rejected, reassure yourself that at least now you know. You won’t be left wondering what could have happened, and you have more practice under your belt for the next time you decide to ask a girl out.\\n2-5. Make plans for your first date if she says yes.\\nHopefully, you got a positive response to your message! Firm up the details for the date, put it in your calendar, and take a few minutes to celebrate how well things went.\\nEither the day before or the day of your date, send her a message letting her know you’re looking forward to hanging out.\\n3. Gauging Her Interest Level\\n3-1. Find out if she is already dating or interested in someone else.\\nYou may already know this info, but if not, it’ll come in handy when deciding when or if to ask her out. Pay attention to the people she talks about often. If they aren’t regular friends of hers, it may be someone she is interested in romantically. Check out her social media to see if there are any clues there, too.\\nYou could even turn this into an opportunity to get to know her better by asking something like, “Tell me more about some of the people you’ve dated,” or “Did your last relationship end well?”\\n3-2. Check to see if you catch her staring at you.\\nWhen someone looks at your frequently, that can often mean that they’re interested in you. Especially if you are already friends, this can be a great indicator that she may be developing feelings for you.\\nIf you don’t notice this, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t interested or that you shouldn’t ask her out. It’s just one way you might be able to tell if her feelings toward you have changed.\\n3-3. Observe her body language to tell if she is interested in you or not.\\nDoes she approach you and stand or sit near you? Does she touch your arm or shoulder? These signs may not mean that she likes you romantically, but they show that she doesn’t dislike you. They mean she is comfortable around you and generally likes you as a person. This is a great sign!\\nYour chances of getting a “yes” when you ask her out are much higher if a girl likes you as a person.\\nOn the flip side, if she avoids you, doesn’t make eye contact, or moves away when you’re close by, those are clear signs that she doesn’t want to spend time with you.\\n3-4. Flirt\\nMake longer-than-usual eye contact and smile at her. Touch her gently on the arm or shoulder to make physical contact. Compliment her looks and her intelligence.\\nCompliment her. To compliment a girl, you could say something like, “That sweater brings out the color of your eyes,” or “You did a great job on your presentation today. I wish I could speak in front of people like you.”\\nTips\\nIf you’re asking a girl out in person, make sure to brush your teeth and wear clean clothes so that you look and smell good.\\nIf you’re trying to get to know this girl, try asking her open-ended questions.\\nDon’t be afraid to show off your unique personality. Being yourself is the best way to attract someone!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You're so ready to go on a date with the girl you've been crushing on, but first you have to ask her out. How should you bring it up? What exactly should you say? Asking a girl out in person, over text, or on social media can be intimidating, but don't worry. We've got all of the best tips for asking a girl out. Keep reading for examples of what to say, plus tips on how to appear cool and confident when you ask her out.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Her in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan what you’re going to say so you feel more confident.\", \"描述\": \"Having a plan will help you be more direct so that there are no misunderstandings. You want her to know that you’re asking her out in a romantic sense, not just as friends. You don’t have to repeat a script word-for-word, but you’ll feel more comfortable if you have a general idea of what to say. Here are some examples of things you could plan to say:\\n“I got tickets to the Taylor Swift concert in August. Would you want to come with me as my date?”\\n“Would you like to go to the new bookstore and grab a coffee together afterward?”\\n“I’d love to take you out to dinner next weekend. How about the new Thai place?”\\nIf you’re really shy, use that to your advantage. You can even plan to say something like, “You know I’m a pretty shy person, so this is a little awkward for me, but I wanted to tell you that I think you’re really nice and have a great sense of humor. Would you want to go play mini-golf next weekend?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Wait to ask her until you’re fairly certain she’ll be in a good mood.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice that she seems sad or angry about something, it might not be the best time to ask her out on a date. Try to catch her after something good happens, like if she gets a good grade on a test or gets an interview for a job she wants.\\nAsking a girl out in person can be nerve-wracking! To help ease your anxiety, set a deadline for yourself and commit to asking her before that date. Once you start the conversation, it’ll just take a few minutes to ask her out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to her when she’s by herself so you don’t have an audience.\", \"描述\": \"If a girl is with a group of friends when you try to ask her out, she may get embarrassed or not be able to talk openly because she might feel uncomfortable about how many people are watching your interaction. Plan out a way that you can comfortably talk to her one-on-one.\\nYou could ask to walk her to her next class.\\nYou could ask her to wait up after a meeting because you have a question for her.\\nYou could even send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact\", \"描述\": \"When you get her one-on-one and are ready to ask her out, take a calming breath. Smile, make gentle eye contact, and stand up straight. Avoid slouching over, staring at the ground, or mumbling. Remember, you don’t need to say more than 2-3 sentences.\\nIf you’re nervous, practice what you’re going to say in front of a mirror several times.\\nYou could also record yourself asking her out. Play it back to yourself to see how you sound and make any adjustments that you need to. Do you say “umm” or pause a lot? Keep practicing until your question sounds natural.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask her out!\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve gotten her attention and are talking to her, you just need to take a deep breath and calmly ask her on a date. Say something like, “Would you like to grab a drink at the new coffeehouse this Sunday?” or “I’d like to get to know you better. What do you think about taking our dogs out for a walk something this weekend?” Remember to be direct and confident.\\nIf you want to do something a little more romantic, consider something like having flowers delivered to her house. Then, follow up with her in person and say something like, “I hope you liked the flowers I sent. What do you think about going out this weekend?”\\nYou could also do something a little out of the box, like have a pizza delivered to her with a note attached that says something like, “This is a little cheesy, but I’d love to go out to dinner with you this weekend.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Respond positively, no matter what her answer is.\", \"描述\": \"In the best-case scenario, she said yes and you can move on to preparing for your date! If she turned you down, it’s normal to feel a little bummed. Do your best to not take it personally; try to view it as a “not the right time, not the right person” situation, and move on as best you can.\\nDefinitely don’t try to convince her that she is making a mistake. She knows what she wants and trying to make her do something else will make her feel uncomfortable.\\nTry saying something like, “No worries—I’m glad I at least asked and don’t have to wonder! I hope you have a great day.” Be sincere and try to smile and not sound sarcastic.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Texting and Social Media\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use text or social media if that’s how you normally communicate.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of dates are arranged via text, DM, social media, and in other similar ways. When deciding how to ask a girl out, pick whichever method feels most natural to your normal way of communicating.\\nKeep in mind that you’ll want to be really clear via text so that your intentions aren’t misunderstood.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick an activity to ask her to do before you send your message.\", \"描述\": \"Rather than being vague and asking her to just “hang out” or what she’s up to that weekend, pick something fun that you think you’d both enjoy. This gives her something to respond to, and you won’t be left wondering what to do if she says yes. Here are some great first date ideas:\\nGo to an arcade or to play mini-golf\\nGo to a coffee shop and a used bookstore\\nPlan a movie marathon\\nGo to an admission-free art exhibit or festival\\nVolunteer at the local animal shelter to walk and play with the animals\\nMake homemade pizza and do a puzzle together\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep the text short, sweet, and specific.\", \"描述\": \"Send her a message that says something simple like, “Hey Kate, I think you’re really cute. Want to go play arcade games and get something to eat this Friday?” Telling her you think she’s attractive clues her in that this is a romantic message and not just a friendly one.\\nRemember to ask about a specific activity. For example, “Would you like to go out on a date with me next Saturday? I thought we could get dinner and go see a movie,” sounds much more romantic than, “Want to hang out sometime next weekend?” The latter could be misinterpreted.\\nText isn’t the only option—you could use DMs in different social media apps or send a cool video through Instagram or Snapchat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Accept her answer and respond quickly even if she turns you down.\", \"描述\": \"If you get rejected, don’t wait too long to reply. You could say something like, “That’s okay! I just wanted to ask. I still think you’re cool and will see you in class.” It’s not fun to get rejected, but it is a normal experience and doesn’t mean anything bad about you as a person. It’s just not the right fit right now.\\nIf you do get rejected, reassure yourself that at least now you know. You won’t be left wondering what could have happened, and you have more practice under your belt for the next time you decide to ask a girl out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make plans for your first date if she says yes.\", \"描述\": \"Hopefully, you got a positive response to your message! Firm up the details for the date, put it in your calendar, and take a few minutes to celebrate how well things went.\\nEither the day before or the day of your date, send her a message letting her know you’re looking forward to hanging out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gauging Her Interest Level\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out if she is already dating or interested in someone else.\", \"描述\": \"You may already know this info, but if not, it’ll come in handy when deciding when or if to ask her out. Pay attention to the people she talks about often. If they aren’t regular friends of hers, it may be someone she is interested in romantically. Check out her social media to see if there are any clues there, too.\\nYou could even turn this into an opportunity to get to know her better by asking something like, “Tell me more about some of the people you’ve dated,” or “Did your last relationship end well?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check to see if you catch her staring at you.\", \"描述\": \"When someone looks at your frequently, that can often mean that they’re interested in you. Especially if you are already friends, this can be a great indicator that she may be developing feelings for you.\\nIf you don’t notice this, it doesn’t mean that she isn’t interested or that you shouldn’t ask her out. It’s just one way you might be able to tell if her feelings toward you have changed.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Observe her body language to tell if she is interested in you or not.\", \"描述\": \"Does she approach you and stand or sit near you? Does she touch your arm or shoulder? These signs may not mean that she likes you romantically, but they show that she doesn’t dislike you. They mean she is comfortable around you and generally likes you as a person. This is a great sign!\\nYour chances of getting a “yes” when you ask her out are much higher if a girl likes you as a person.\\nOn the flip side, if she avoids you, doesn’t make eye contact, or moves away when you’re close by, those are clear signs that she doesn’t want to spend time with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirt\", \"描述\": \"Make longer-than-usual eye contact and smile at her. Touch her gently on the arm or shoulder to make physical contact. Compliment her looks and her intelligence.\\nCompliment her. To compliment a girl, you could say something like, “That sweater brings out the color of your eyes,” or “You did a great job on your presentation today. I wish I could speak in front of people like you.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re asking a girl out in person, make sure to brush your teeth and wear clean clothes so that you look and smell good.\\n\", \"If you’re trying to get to know this girl, try asking her open-ended questions.\\n\", \"Don’t be afraid to show off your unique personality. Being yourself is the best way to attract someone!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,540 | How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text | 1. Asking Her Out on A Date
1-1. Come up with an idea for a date.
If you know the person well enough, then consider her interests when coming up with date ideas. The more appealing the date sounds, the more likely she'll be to say yes. Furthermore, having a concrete plan with a place and time in mind makes you more decisive then if you said "Let's hang out some time," or, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Here are some date ideas you should consider before asking:
If you share similar tastes in music, then invite her to an upcoming show or concert.
Consider asking her to meet you for lunch or grabbing ice cream. If you enjoy cooking, then invite her over for a homemade dinner. Remember that dates don't necessarily have to revolve around meals; go for a hike together or hit the bowling alley!
Try to think of an activity that involves talking and getting to know each other. Avoid asking her to the movies, where you will be sitting in silence and won't get a chance to talk. However, if you're set on going to the movies, take her to dinner beforehand or go out for ice cream after, so you get a chance to get to know each other.
1-2. Send her an opening text.
Greet her first to get the conversation going. If you have just met her and are unsure of whether she has your number saved in your phone, then you may need to remind her who you are. Say something like "Hey, this is [so and so], we met the other day." If you are positive she has your number, then text her something like "Hey, what's up?" or "Hey, how's your day going?"
Wait until she responds to your first text before asking her out. Remember that she may be occupied and not have her phone with her, so be patient.
1-3. Ask her out on a date.
Once you have gotten the conversation going, it's time to ask her out. You may want to start by asking her what her plans are on a given day/weekend. If she says that she is free, then ask her out. Send a text saying "Would you want to do [such and such] activity with me?"
Don't wait too long to ask her out. You don't want the conversation to go on a tangent and make asking her out seem too awkward or unexpected. There's no need to make too much small talk when you're just texting each other.
Keep it short and simple. Just say something like, "Interested in a movie?" or "Want to go bowling this Friday evening?"
Have a concrete place and a time where you want to meet. If you just say, "Want to go see a movie some time?" then you'll sound indecisive. It's important to state a time so she knows you're serious and you thought it out.
Give her an option to do something else. Maybe she wants to go out with you, but she's a terrible bowler; maybe she wants to go to dinner, but she just went to the place you suggested last night. Make it clear that you have a plan, but that you're open to doing something else, too.
1-4. Respond to her answer.
If she says yes, then iron out the details; decide on where/when you will meet and make driving arrangements if necessary. Once you have decided on the date, casually end the conversation by saying something like "Great, see you on Saturday!" Don't continue to text her too much afterward, or you may be coming on too strong. However, if she starts texting you a lot, then you can respond too.
Be sure to let her know that you are looking forward to the date if she says yes. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to the date as well.
If she declines your offer, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. You want to keep your head up high and end things on a good note.
2. Asking Her to be Your Girlfriend
2-1. Determine whether or not she is interested in you romantically.
In most cases, you should only ask a girl to be your girlfriend after you have gone on several dates and know that she is interested in you as more than just a friend; if you're younger and are used to asking girls to be your girlfriend before going on dates, then look for signs that she likes you, such as her blushing when you talk, or the fact that she waits for you after class. Having an idea of whether or not she likes you back can improve your chances when you ask.
If you have never spoken to her, don't know her very well, or know that she is already romantically involved with somebody else, then don't ask her out. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!
You don't have to be 100% sure about whether or not she likes you, but try to read her body language and words the next time you're together. Does she turn her body toward you, seem a bit nervous in your presence, or look excited to see you? If so, then these are pretty good signs that she might be interested.
2-2. Send an opening text.
Start off by greeting her with something like "Hey you," "Hey, how have you been?" or "Hey, how is your day going?" This will help ease into the conversation and prepare her for the question. Let the conversation flow naturally. There's no need to be extra clever right at the beginning or to make what you think is a hilarious comment. It's better to be direct and to stick to the point; she'll be impressed by your confidence if you don't dilly dally too much.
Though you may not know what every second of her day looks like, try to send it at a time when she is likely to not be too busy. For example, if you know she has soccer practice right after school, send it a few hours after that.
2-3. Let her know how you feel about her first.
Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her, and compliment the qualities that make her unique, explaining why you like spending time with her so much. Try saying something like "I've really enjoyed spending these last few weeks with you," or "You really make me feel special," or "I've never felt this way about anybody before." Whatever you choose to say, be honest and only say things that you really mean. That said, you don't need to go overboard with the praise.
Wait for her to respond before asking her to be your girlfriend. How she responds to statements like these will help you determine whether or not she's interested in a relationship with you without you having to ask her explicitly.
See if she reciprocates. If she says that she feels the same way about you, then go ahead and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. If she doesn't respond, or simply says "thanks" without telling you how she feels, then she might not be interested.
Don't smother her with compliments, as this can come across and insincere and overwhelming.
2-4. Ask her to be your girlfriend.
There are several ways to phrase this question. You can ask her straight-out by saying something like "Do you want to be my girlfriend?" or "Can I call you my girlfriend?" or "Do you want to become an official couple?" Don't wait too long to pop the question. The sooner you ask it, the sooner you can move forward.
Alternatively, you can leave her with a more open-ended question like "So where do you see this going?" or "Are you open to the idea of having a boyfriend?" Open-ended questions like these show her that you genuinely care about her wants and needs, and are willing to compromise to make her happy. This can take some of the pressure off, though you may not be getting the answer you want.
2-5. React appropriately.
If she wants to be your girlfriend, then great! The first thing you can do is to suggest a fun, simple activity that you can do together, like going to a show or going bowling, and also pick a time and a place to meet. This can make her see that you're really serious about her and have put a lot of thought into your potential relationship.
If she's not interested, then be nice and thank her for talking to you. It's best to leave things on a good note so you can feel proud of your mature reaction.
3. Asking Her to a School Dance
3-1. Determine whether or not she already has a date, if possible.
If she has a boyfriend, then you can safely assume that she is going to the dance with him. If you're unsure of whether or not she has a date, then don't worry; ask her out anyway! You can try to ask your friends if they know, or even to ask her friends if she has a date, but be aware that this makes it likely that it will get back to her; you may be better off just winging it.
Don't ask a girl to ditch her current date if she already has one. It will be unfair to the other guy and will reflect poorly on you.
Make sure you do this early enough that you have higher chances of getting a favorable response. If we're talking about the prom, then you should ask at least a month or two in advance, at the least. If it's a more common school dance, then give it a few weeks to be safe.
3-2. Send her a friendly text first.
Get the conversation started by texting her something like "Hey, how's it going?" or "Hey, what are you up to?" Wait until she responds before asking her out, and let the conversation flow naturally. If she doesn't have your number, let her know who you are and how you got her number; you don't want her to be uncomfortable or to ignore the text because she doesn't know who it's coming from.
3-3. Ask her to the dance.
You either do this by sending a straightforward text saying "Would you like to go to the dance with me?" or by first asking her whether or not she has plans for the dance. If she says no, then say something like "I'd love it if you came with me," or "I think it'd be really fun if we went together."
If you want to, you can even make a crack about your dancing skills or say something about how she can show you how to rock the dance floor. There's no need to take yourself too seriously here!
3-4. Make the necessary plans.
If she says yes, congratulations! Now you will have to set up a time and place to meet, coordinate outfits if applicable, and decide on transportation. Don't be nervous about it—the hard part is over and now you can just relax and enjoy the ride.
Let her know that you are excited to go with her and that you think it's going to be a great time. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to going with you.
If she says no or already has plans, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. Try to play it cool and say something like "No worries, I hope you have fun anyway!"
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Her Out on A Date\\n1-1. Come up with an idea for a date.\\nIf you know the person well enough, then consider her interests when coming up with date ideas. The more appealing the date sounds, the more likely she'll be to say yes. Furthermore, having a concrete plan with a place and time in mind makes you more decisive then if you said \\\"Let's hang out some time,\\\" or, \\\"I don't know, what do you want to do?\\\" Here are some date ideas you should consider before asking:\\nIf you share similar tastes in music, then invite her to an upcoming show or concert.\\nConsider asking her to meet you for lunch or grabbing ice cream. If you enjoy cooking, then invite her over for a homemade dinner. Remember that dates don't necessarily have to revolve around meals; go for a hike together or hit the bowling alley!\\nTry to think of an activity that involves talking and getting to know each other. Avoid asking her to the movies, where you will be sitting in silence and won't get a chance to talk. However, if you're set on going to the movies, take her to dinner beforehand or go out for ice cream after, so you get a chance to get to know each other.\\n1-2. Send her an opening text.\\nGreet her first to get the conversation going. If you have just met her and are unsure of whether she has your number saved in your phone, then you may need to remind her who you are. Say something like \\\"Hey, this is [so and so], we met the other day.\\\" If you are positive she has your number, then text her something like \\\"Hey, what's up?\\\" or \\\"Hey, how's your day going?\\\"\\nWait until she responds to your first text before asking her out. Remember that she may be occupied and not have her phone with her, so be patient.\\n1-3. Ask her out on a date.\\nOnce you have gotten the conversation going, it's time to ask her out. You may want to start by asking her what her plans are on a given day/weekend. If she says that she is free, then ask her out. Send a text saying \\\"Would you want to do [such and such] activity with me?\\\"\\nDon't wait too long to ask her out. You don't want the conversation to go on a tangent and make asking her out seem too awkward or unexpected. There's no need to make too much small talk when you're just texting each other.\\nKeep it short and simple. Just say something like, \\\"Interested in a movie?\\\" or \\\"Want to go bowling this Friday evening?\\\"\\nHave a concrete place and a time where you want to meet. If you just say, \\\"Want to go see a movie some time?\\\" then you'll sound indecisive. It's important to state a time so she knows you're serious and you thought it out.\\nGive her an option to do something else. Maybe she wants to go out with you, but she's a terrible bowler; maybe she wants to go to dinner, but she just went to the place you suggested last night. Make it clear that you have a plan, but that you're open to doing something else, too.\\n1-4. Respond to her answer.\\nIf she says yes, then iron out the details; decide on where/when you will meet and make driving arrangements if necessary. Once you have decided on the date, casually end the conversation by saying something like \\\"Great, see you on Saturday!\\\" Don't continue to text her too much afterward, or you may be coming on too strong. However, if she starts texting you a lot, then you can respond too.\\nBe sure to let her know that you are looking forward to the date if she says yes. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to the date as well.\\nIf she declines your offer, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. You want to keep your head up high and end things on a good note.\\n2. Asking Her to be Your Girlfriend\\n2-1. Determine whether or not she is interested in you romantically.\\nIn most cases, you should only ask a girl to be your girlfriend after you have gone on several dates and know that she is interested in you as more than just a friend; if you're younger and are used to asking girls to be your girlfriend before going on dates, then look for signs that she likes you, such as her blushing when you talk, or the fact that she waits for you after class. Having an idea of whether or not she likes you back can improve your chances when you ask.\\nIf you have never spoken to her, don't know her very well, or know that she is already romantically involved with somebody else, then don't ask her out. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!\\nYou don't have to be 100% sure about whether or not she likes you, but try to read her body language and words the next time you're together. Does she turn her body toward you, seem a bit nervous in your presence, or look excited to see you? If so, then these are pretty good signs that she might be interested.\\n2-2. Send an opening text.\\nStart off by greeting her with something like \\\"Hey you,\\\" \\\"Hey, how have you been?\\\" or \\\"Hey, how is your day going?\\\" This will help ease into the conversation and prepare her for the question. Let the conversation flow naturally. There's no need to be extra clever right at the beginning or to make what you think is a hilarious comment. It's better to be direct and to stick to the point; she'll be impressed by your confidence if you don't dilly dally too much.\\nThough you may not know what every second of her day looks like, try to send it at a time when she is likely to not be too busy. For example, if you know she has soccer practice right after school, send it a few hours after that.\\n2-3. Let her know how you feel about her first.\\nTell her that you enjoy spending time with her, and compliment the qualities that make her unique, explaining why you like spending time with her so much. Try saying something like \\\"I've really enjoyed spending these last few weeks with you,\\\" or \\\"You really make me feel special,\\\" or \\\"I've never felt this way about anybody before.\\\" Whatever you choose to say, be honest and only say things that you really mean. That said, you don't need to go overboard with the praise.\\nWait for her to respond before asking her to be your girlfriend. How she responds to statements like these will help you determine whether or not she's interested in a relationship with you without you having to ask her explicitly.\\nSee if she reciprocates. If she says that she feels the same way about you, then go ahead and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. If she doesn't respond, or simply says \\\"thanks\\\" without telling you how she feels, then she might not be interested.\\nDon't smother her with compliments, as this can come across and insincere and overwhelming.\\n2-4. Ask her to be your girlfriend.\\nThere are several ways to phrase this question. You can ask her straight-out by saying something like \\\"Do you want to be my girlfriend?\\\" or \\\"Can I call you my girlfriend?\\\" or \\\"Do you want to become an official couple?\\\" Don't wait too long to pop the question. The sooner you ask it, the sooner you can move forward.\\nAlternatively, you can leave her with a more open-ended question like \\\"So where do you see this going?\\\" or \\\"Are you open to the idea of having a boyfriend?\\\" Open-ended questions like these show her that you genuinely care about her wants and needs, and are willing to compromise to make her happy. This can take some of the pressure off, though you may not be getting the answer you want.\\n2-5. React appropriately.\\nIf she wants to be your girlfriend, then great! The first thing you can do is to suggest a fun, simple activity that you can do together, like going to a show or going bowling, and also pick a time and a place to meet. This can make her see that you're really serious about her and have put a lot of thought into your potential relationship.\\nIf she's not interested, then be nice and thank her for talking to you. It's best to leave things on a good note so you can feel proud of your mature reaction.\\n3. Asking Her to a School Dance\\n3-1. Determine whether or not she already has a date, if possible.\\nIf she has a boyfriend, then you can safely assume that she is going to the dance with him. If you're unsure of whether or not she has a date, then don't worry; ask her out anyway! You can try to ask your friends if they know, or even to ask her friends if she has a date, but be aware that this makes it likely that it will get back to her; you may be better off just winging it.\\nDon't ask a girl to ditch her current date if she already has one. It will be unfair to the other guy and will reflect poorly on you.\\nMake sure you do this early enough that you have higher chances of getting a favorable response. If we're talking about the prom, then you should ask at least a month or two in advance, at the least. If it's a more common school dance, then give it a few weeks to be safe.\\n3-2. Send her a friendly text first.\\nGet the conversation started by texting her something like \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\" or \\\"Hey, what are you up to?\\\" Wait until she responds before asking her out, and let the conversation flow naturally. If she doesn't have your number, let her know who you are and how you got her number; you don't want her to be uncomfortable or to ignore the text because she doesn't know who it's coming from.\\n3-3. Ask her to the dance.\\nYou either do this by sending a straightforward text saying \\\"Would you like to go to the dance with me?\\\" or by first asking her whether or not she has plans for the dance. If she says no, then say something like \\\"I'd love it if you came with me,\\\" or \\\"I think it'd be really fun if we went together.\\\"\\nIf you want to, you can even make a crack about your dancing skills or say something about how she can show you how to rock the dance floor. There's no need to take yourself too seriously here!\\n3-4. Make the necessary plans.\\nIf she says yes, congratulations! Now you will have to set up a time and place to meet, coordinate outfits if applicable, and decide on transportation. Don't be nervous about it—the hard part is over and now you can just relax and enjoy the ride.\\nLet her know that you are excited to go with her and that you think it's going to be a great time. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to going with you.\\nIf she says no or already has plans, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. Try to play it cool and say something like \\\"No worries, I hope you have fun anyway!\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Looking for a surefire way to ask a girl out over text or WhatsApp? Whether you want to go on a date or ask her to be your girlfriend, asking a girl out over text can be anxiety-inducing. If you're feeling nervous or need some ideas to get the conversation started, we can help! This wikiHow article will help you start a conversation with a girl you like with a text, and give you plenty of ideas and sample texts for landing that date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out on A Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Come up with an idea for a date.\", \"描述\": \"If you know the person well enough, then consider her interests when coming up with date ideas. The more appealing the date sounds, the more likely she'll be to say yes. Furthermore, having a concrete plan with a place and time in mind makes you more decisive then if you said \\\"Let's hang out some time,\\\" or, \\\"I don't know, what do you want to do?\\\" Here are some date ideas you should consider before asking:\\nIf you share similar tastes in music, then invite her to an upcoming show or concert.\\nConsider asking her to meet you for lunch or grabbing ice cream. If you enjoy cooking, then invite her over for a homemade dinner. Remember that dates don't necessarily have to revolve around meals; go for a hike together or hit the bowling alley!\\nTry to think of an activity that involves talking and getting to know each other. Avoid asking her to the movies, where you will be sitting in silence and won't get a chance to talk. However, if you're set on going to the movies, take her to dinner beforehand or go out for ice cream after, so you get a chance to get to know each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send her an opening text.\", \"描述\": \"Greet her first to get the conversation going. If you have just met her and are unsure of whether she has your number saved in your phone, then you may need to remind her who you are. Say something like \\\"Hey, this is [so and so], we met the other day.\\\" If you are positive she has your number, then text her something like \\\"Hey, what's up?\\\" or \\\"Hey, how's your day going?\\\"\\nWait until she responds to your first text before asking her out. Remember that she may be occupied and not have her phone with her, so be patient.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her out on a date.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have gotten the conversation going, it's time to ask her out. You may want to start by asking her what her plans are on a given day/weekend. If she says that she is free, then ask her out. Send a text saying \\\"Would you want to do [such and such] activity with me?\\\"\\nDon't wait too long to ask her out. You don't want the conversation to go on a tangent and make asking her out seem too awkward or unexpected. There's no need to make too much small talk when you're just texting each other.\\nKeep it short and simple. Just say something like, \\\"Interested in a movie?\\\" or \\\"Want to go bowling this Friday evening?\\\"\\nHave a concrete place and a time where you want to meet. If you just say, \\\"Want to go see a movie some time?\\\" then you'll sound indecisive. It's important to state a time so she knows you're serious and you thought it out.\\nGive her an option to do something else. Maybe she wants to go out with you, but she's a terrible bowler; maybe she wants to go to dinner, but she just went to the place you suggested last night. Make it clear that you have a plan, but that you're open to doing something else, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Respond to her answer.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, then iron out the details; decide on where/when you will meet and make driving arrangements if necessary. Once you have decided on the date, casually end the conversation by saying something like \\\"Great, see you on Saturday!\\\" Don't continue to text her too much afterward, or you may be coming on too strong. However, if she starts texting you a lot, then you can respond too.\\nBe sure to let her know that you are looking forward to the date if she says yes. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to the date as well.\\nIf she declines your offer, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. You want to keep your head up high and end things on a good note.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Her to be Your Girlfriend\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether or not she is interested in you romantically.\", \"描述\": \"In most cases, you should only ask a girl to be your girlfriend after you have gone on several dates and know that she is interested in you as more than just a friend; if you're younger and are used to asking girls to be your girlfriend before going on dates, then look for signs that she likes you, such as her blushing when you talk, or the fact that she waits for you after class. Having an idea of whether or not she likes you back can improve your chances when you ask.\\nIf you have never spoken to her, don't know her very well, or know that she is already romantically involved with somebody else, then don't ask her out. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!\\nYou don't have to be 100% sure about whether or not she likes you, but try to read her body language and words the next time you're together. Does she turn her body toward you, seem a bit nervous in your presence, or look excited to see you? If so, then these are pretty good signs that she might be interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send an opening text.\", \"描述\": \"Start off by greeting her with something like \\\"Hey you,\\\" \\\"Hey, how have you been?\\\" or \\\"Hey, how is your day going?\\\" This will help ease into the conversation and prepare her for the question. Let the conversation flow naturally. There's no need to be extra clever right at the beginning or to make what you think is a hilarious comment. It's better to be direct and to stick to the point; she'll be impressed by your confidence if you don't dilly dally too much.\\nThough you may not know what every second of her day looks like, try to send it at a time when she is likely to not be too busy. For example, if you know she has soccer practice right after school, send it a few hours after that.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let her know how you feel about her first.\", \"描述\": \"Tell her that you enjoy spending time with her, and compliment the qualities that make her unique, explaining why you like spending time with her so much. Try saying something like \\\"I've really enjoyed spending these last few weeks with you,\\\" or \\\"You really make me feel special,\\\" or \\\"I've never felt this way about anybody before.\\\" Whatever you choose to say, be honest and only say things that you really mean. That said, you don't need to go overboard with the praise.\\nWait for her to respond before asking her to be your girlfriend. How she responds to statements like these will help you determine whether or not she's interested in a relationship with you without you having to ask her explicitly.\\nSee if she reciprocates. If she says that she feels the same way about you, then go ahead and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. If she doesn't respond, or simply says \\\"thanks\\\" without telling you how she feels, then she might not be interested.\\nDon't smother her with compliments, as this can come across and insincere and overwhelming.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her to be your girlfriend.\", \"描述\": \"There are several ways to phrase this question. You can ask her straight-out by saying something like \\\"Do you want to be my girlfriend?\\\" or \\\"Can I call you my girlfriend?\\\" or \\\"Do you want to become an official couple?\\\" Don't wait too long to pop the question. The sooner you ask it, the sooner you can move forward.\\nAlternatively, you can leave her with a more open-ended question like \\\"So where do you see this going?\\\" or \\\"Are you open to the idea of having a boyfriend?\\\" Open-ended questions like these show her that you genuinely care about her wants and needs, and are willing to compromise to make her happy. This can take some of the pressure off, though you may not be getting the answer you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"React appropriately.\", \"描述\": \"If she wants to be your girlfriend, then great! The first thing you can do is to suggest a fun, simple activity that you can do together, like going to a show or going bowling, and also pick a time and a place to meet. This can make her see that you're really serious about her and have put a lot of thought into your potential relationship.\\nIf she's not interested, then be nice and thank her for talking to you. It's best to leave things on a good note so you can feel proud of your mature reaction.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Her to a School Dance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether or not she already has a date, if possible.\", \"描述\": \"If she has a boyfriend, then you can safely assume that she is going to the dance with him. If you're unsure of whether or not she has a date, then don't worry; ask her out anyway! You can try to ask your friends if they know, or even to ask her friends if she has a date, but be aware that this makes it likely that it will get back to her; you may be better off just winging it.\\nDon't ask a girl to ditch her current date if she already has one. It will be unfair to the other guy and will reflect poorly on you.\\nMake sure you do this early enough that you have higher chances of getting a favorable response. If we're talking about the prom, then you should ask at least a month or two in advance, at the least. If it's a more common school dance, then give it a few weeks to be safe.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send her a friendly text first.\", \"描述\": \"Get the conversation started by texting her something like \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\" or \\\"Hey, what are you up to?\\\" Wait until she responds before asking her out, and let the conversation flow naturally. If she doesn't have your number, let her know who you are and how you got her number; you don't want her to be uncomfortable or to ignore the text because she doesn't know who it's coming from.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her to the dance.\", \"描述\": \"You either do this by sending a straightforward text saying \\\"Would you like to go to the dance with me?\\\" or by first asking her whether or not she has plans for the dance. If she says no, then say something like \\\"I'd love it if you came with me,\\\" or \\\"I think it'd be really fun if we went together.\\\"\\nIf you want to, you can even make a crack about your dancing skills or say something about how she can show you how to rock the dance floor. There's no need to take yourself too seriously here!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make the necessary plans.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, congratulations! Now you will have to set up a time and place to meet, coordinate outfits if applicable, and decide on transportation. Don't be nervous about it—the hard part is over and now you can just relax and enjoy the ride.\\nLet her know that you are excited to go with her and that you think it's going to be a great time. This will make her feel special and have her looking forward to going with you.\\nIf she says no or already has plans, then let her know that there are no hard feelings and end the conversation. Try to play it cool and say something like \\\"No worries, I hope you have fun anyway!\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,541 | How to Ask a Girl Out Platonically | 1. Asking Her Out Platonically
1-1. Choose a semi-busy, casual setting to ask the question.
Again, the best tip is to not take things so seriously, so don't bother to wait until you're alone to ask -- this just makes it feel more like a date. Instead, pop the question in the hall, during lunch, or in the break room. If other people are around, and you don't seem like you're asking a super important question, she'll get the hint that it is platonic.
If you're in a group, invite her out with everyone else. Having a large group of friends together will make the date obviously platonic.
1-2. Have an event or activity in mind before asking.
Simply asking, "do you want to hang out," without having an idea where will just lead to awkwardness. Furthermore, having something already in mind makes it easier to just be casual about it -- "hey, want to see that concert we talked about this weekend."
In general, don't invite her out to dinner. This is almost always "date" territory.
Any activity with lots of people (movies, mini-golf, museum tours, etc.), or common hobbies you share (biking, rock climbing, playing music, etc.) are fantastic platonic options.
1-3. Keep the conversation light and friendly, not serious or romantic.
The best way to accomplish this is to not think about it for too long. Just go ahead and ask, keeping it light and fun. The best way to do this is to simply ask her when you think of the activity instead of planning out the perfect worlds. Remember -- if you want the date to be purely friendly, you need to treat her like a friend. So stop worrying too much about the words and just chat.
1-4. Be upfront about you desire not to date.
It may seem a little strange or abrupt at first, but everyone will be much happier and more relaxed if you don't have to guess whether or not you're dating. Simply open up with an open, honest desire to get to know her as a friend:
"Hey, I don't want you to think I'm hitting on you, but -- "
"You seem like a really cool person, and I'd love to hang out as friends sometimes?"
"I'm new here, and am looking to meet some new friends. Let's be friends!"
1-5. Offer for her to bring some friends along too.
This is a clear, considerate way to indicate you're not looking for romance. When you ask her out on the platonic date, tell her to let her friends know as well. The cliche, "the more the merrier," isn't exactly romantic, but that's the point. Asking her to group events will be much easier.
2. Keeping the Date Platonic
2-1. Watch your body language.
Some joking poking and prodding, a light hug, and sitting next to each other is fine, but brushing her shoulders or cheeks, snuggling up next to each other, and (of course!) kissing are going to send a very different message. The best ground rule is to act like you were with any other friend, of any gender. Don't overanalyze every gesture or move -- that's what people do on dates! Just be yourself.
Try not to touch each other much -- especially if you construe it at all as sexual. If you feel like things are romantic, they are, so move on or find a way to create some distance.
2-2. Let her pay for her own things.
If one of you is buying the other's dinner or the movie tickets, you're starting to steer yourself into dating territory. Let her buy her food, and you buy yours. Remember, going out platonically is just like going out with friends -- and you wouldn't buy your buddy's taxi ride just for nothing.
2-3. Act like friends, and don't treat her any more special than anyone else.
If you're your normal, friendly self, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Whenever you're together, try not to overthink things or worry about signals. Just relax and be a friend, like you would with any of "the guys." The more you keep things friendly in general, the more platonic you'll come off when you ask her out.
You shouldn't treat her like "girlfriend-lite." You want to treat her like a normal friend whose opinion you admire and who you like spending time with.
2-4. Mention your significant other, if you have one, to show you're not interested in dating.
One of the best ways to make it obvious that the date is platonic is to talk about the person you're actually dating. Even if you're not currently seeing anyone, you may feel comfortable enough to mention that you're not interested in dating, though you have to see how to conversation plays out. Some ways to be subtle include:
"You like that band? My girlfriend loves them too!"
"You would get along great with _______, I'd love you to meet her."
You should also ask about her love life -- asking "who are you crushing on?" or "any luck finding a new man?" will show that you're just friend's gossiping.
2-5. Keep your plans loose.
If you run into other friends, go join them. If she suggests something different to do, or you change your mind, go with the flow. Don't worry about keeping things perfect or "running" the date well. This is just two friends hanging out, and overthinking things tends to give the impression of a "real" date.
Do not invite her back to your place, especially if you're just getting to know one another.
3. Managing Changing Feelings
3-1. Determine where you stand on a potential romantic relationship.
Do you want to get to know her better in the hopes of dating down the line, or do you want to keep things firmly friendly? Both are perfectly fine, but you should take some time to think about this, especially if she seems to be developing feelings or wanting more. Be honest with yourself, and what you want, and it will be much easier to handle and changing feelings.
3-2. Maintain your boundaries.
There comes a point where, unless you're looking to move forward into romance, you're just going to have to hang out with other people. This line is different for everyone, and a lot depends on your personal boundaries. That said, some good ground rules include:
of any kind, including kissing. This is especially important when drinking, as the "friendly hook-up" sounds like a much better idea than it is.
of both genders. A large, varied friend group can keep you from becoming too dependent on each other.
especially if one of you develops feelings. Holding and hiding things tends to let the feelings balloon up and grow until they are much harder to manage.
3-3. Hang out in groups, not just one on one.
Romantic dates are almost strictly two people affairs, but platonic friends tend to hang out in groups. This doesn't mean you can't ask a girl out platonically by herself. Rather, you should feel comfortable hanging out with others as well, sending the message that you're interested as friends, not as partners.
Inviting her to group events shows that she is part of the gang -- a valued friend instead of a special someone.
3-4. Know that the occasional temptation doesn't mean you can't be friends anymore.
By definition, platonic friends are those that could have a sexual relationship but don't. So it is only natural that you'll occasionally feel a spark of something more, even if you don't want to pursue it. This is fine, as long as you stay honest with yourself.
Always ask, "is giving in to this temptation worth potentially losing my friendship?"
If you feel her getting interested, or flirting, don't flirt back. You don't have to say anything about it, but you shouldn't condone the behavior unless you want to send mixed signals.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking Her Out Platonically\\n1-1. Choose a semi-busy, casual setting to ask the question.\\nAgain, the best tip is to not take things so seriously, so don't bother to wait until you're alone to ask -- this just makes it feel more like a date. Instead, pop the question in the hall, during lunch, or in the break room. If other people are around, and you don't seem like you're asking a super important question, she'll get the hint that it is platonic.\\nIf you're in a group, invite her out with everyone else. Having a large group of friends together will make the date obviously platonic.\\n1-2. Have an event or activity in mind before asking.\\nSimply asking, \\\"do you want to hang out,\\\" without having an idea where will just lead to awkwardness. Furthermore, having something already in mind makes it easier to just be casual about it -- \\\"hey, want to see that concert we talked about this weekend.\\\"\\nIn general, don't invite her out to dinner. This is almost always \\\"date\\\" territory.\\nAny activity with lots of people (movies, mini-golf, museum tours, etc.), or common hobbies you share (biking, rock climbing, playing music, etc.) are fantastic platonic options.\\n1-3. Keep the conversation light and friendly, not serious or romantic.\\nThe best way to accomplish this is to not think about it for too long. Just go ahead and ask, keeping it light and fun. The best way to do this is to simply ask her when you think of the activity instead of planning out the perfect worlds. Remember -- if you want the date to be purely friendly, you need to treat her like a friend. So stop worrying too much about the words and just chat.\\n1-4. Be upfront about you desire not to date.\\nIt may seem a little strange or abrupt at first, but everyone will be much happier and more relaxed if you don't have to guess whether or not you're dating. Simply open up with an open, honest desire to get to know her as a friend:\\n\\\"Hey, I don't want you to think I'm hitting on you, but -- \\\"\\n\\\"You seem like a really cool person, and I'd love to hang out as friends sometimes?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm new here, and am looking to meet some new friends. Let's be friends!\\\"\\n1-5. Offer for her to bring some friends along too.\\nThis is a clear, considerate way to indicate you're not looking for romance. When you ask her out on the platonic date, tell her to let her friends know as well. The cliche, \\\"the more the merrier,\\\" isn't exactly romantic, but that's the point. Asking her to group events will be much easier.\\n2. Keeping the Date Platonic\\n2-1. Watch your body language.\\nSome joking poking and prodding, a light hug, and sitting next to each other is fine, but brushing her shoulders or cheeks, snuggling up next to each other, and (of course!) kissing are going to send a very different message. The best ground rule is to act like you were with any other friend, of any gender. Don't overanalyze every gesture or move -- that's what people do on dates! Just be yourself.\\nTry not to touch each other much -- especially if you construe it at all as sexual. If you feel like things are romantic, they are, so move on or find a way to create some distance.\\n2-2. Let her pay for her own things.\\nIf one of you is buying the other's dinner or the movie tickets, you're starting to steer yourself into dating territory. Let her buy her food, and you buy yours. Remember, going out platonically is just like going out with friends -- and you wouldn't buy your buddy's taxi ride just for nothing.\\n2-3. Act like friends, and don't treat her any more special than anyone else.\\nIf you're your normal, friendly self, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Whenever you're together, try not to overthink things or worry about signals. Just relax and be a friend, like you would with any of \\\"the guys.\\\" The more you keep things friendly in general, the more platonic you'll come off when you ask her out.\\nYou shouldn't treat her like \\\"girlfriend-lite.\\\" You want to treat her like a normal friend whose opinion you admire and who you like spending time with.\\n2-4. Mention your significant other, if you have one, to show you're not interested in dating.\\nOne of the best ways to make it obvious that the date is platonic is to talk about the person you're actually dating. Even if you're not currently seeing anyone, you may feel comfortable enough to mention that you're not interested in dating, though you have to see how to conversation plays out. Some ways to be subtle include:\\n\\\"You like that band? My girlfriend loves them too!\\\"\\n\\\"You would get along great with _______, I'd love you to meet her.\\\"\\nYou should also ask about her love life -- asking \\\"who are you crushing on?\\\" or \\\"any luck finding a new man?\\\" will show that you're just friend's gossiping.\\n2-5. Keep your plans loose.\\nIf you run into other friends, go join them. If she suggests something different to do, or you change your mind, go with the flow. Don't worry about keeping things perfect or \\\"running\\\" the date well. This is just two friends hanging out, and overthinking things tends to give the impression of a \\\"real\\\" date. \\nDo not invite her back to your place, especially if you're just getting to know one another.\\n3. Managing Changing Feelings\\n3-1. Determine where you stand on a potential romantic relationship.\\nDo you want to get to know her better in the hopes of dating down the line, or do you want to keep things firmly friendly? Both are perfectly fine, but you should take some time to think about this, especially if she seems to be developing feelings or wanting more. Be honest with yourself, and what you want, and it will be much easier to handle and changing feelings.\\n3-2. Maintain your boundaries.\\nThere comes a point where, unless you're looking to move forward into romance, you're just going to have to hang out with other people. This line is different for everyone, and a lot depends on your personal boundaries. That said, some good ground rules include:\\n\\n of any kind, including kissing. This is especially important when drinking, as the \\\"friendly hook-up\\\" sounds like a much better idea than it is.\\n of both genders. A large, varied friend group can keep you from becoming too dependent on each other.\\n especially if one of you develops feelings. Holding and hiding things tends to let the feelings balloon up and grow until they are much harder to manage.\\n3-3. Hang out in groups, not just one on one.\\nRomantic dates are almost strictly two people affairs, but platonic friends tend to hang out in groups. This doesn't mean you can't ask a girl out platonically by herself. Rather, you should feel comfortable hanging out with others as well, sending the message that you're interested as friends, not as partners.\\nInviting her to group events shows that she is part of the gang -- a valued friend instead of a special someone.\\n3-4. Know that the occasional temptation doesn't mean you can't be friends anymore.\\nBy definition, platonic friends are those that could have a sexual relationship but don't. So it is only natural that you'll occasionally feel a spark of something more, even if you don't want to pursue it. This is fine, as long as you stay honest with yourself. \\nAlways ask, \\\"is giving in to this temptation worth potentially losing my friendship?\\\"\\nIf you feel her getting interested, or flirting, don't flirt back. You don't have to say anything about it, but you shouldn't condone the behavior unless you want to send mixed signals.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You want to ask a girl out, but you don't want her to have expectations of any type of romantic relationship. You are not looking for a girlfriend, just to hang as friends. Follow these easy steps and it should be no problem.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out Platonically\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a semi-busy, casual setting to ask the question.\", \"描述\": \"Again, the best tip is to not take things so seriously, so don't bother to wait until you're alone to ask -- this just makes it feel more like a date. Instead, pop the question in the hall, during lunch, or in the break room. If other people are around, and you don't seem like you're asking a super important question, she'll get the hint that it is platonic.\\nIf you're in a group, invite her out with everyone else. Having a large group of friends together will make the date obviously platonic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have an event or activity in mind before asking.\", \"描述\": \"Simply asking, \\\"do you want to hang out,\\\" without having an idea where will just lead to awkwardness. Furthermore, having something already in mind makes it easier to just be casual about it -- \\\"hey, want to see that concert we talked about this weekend.\\\"\\nIn general, don't invite her out to dinner. This is almost always \\\"date\\\" territory.\\nAny activity with lots of people (movies, mini-golf, museum tours, etc.), or common hobbies you share (biking, rock climbing, playing music, etc.) are fantastic platonic options.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep the conversation light and friendly, not serious or romantic.\", \"描述\": \"The best way to accomplish this is to not think about it for too long. Just go ahead and ask, keeping it light and fun. The best way to do this is to simply ask her when you think of the activity instead of planning out the perfect worlds. Remember -- if you want the date to be purely friendly, you need to treat her like a friend. So stop worrying too much about the words and just chat.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be upfront about you desire not to date.\", \"描述\": \"It may seem a little strange or abrupt at first, but everyone will be much happier and more relaxed if you don't have to guess whether or not you're dating. Simply open up with an open, honest desire to get to know her as a friend:\\n\\\"Hey, I don't want you to think I'm hitting on you, but -- \\\"\\n\\\"You seem like a really cool person, and I'd love to hang out as friends sometimes?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm new here, and am looking to meet some new friends. Let's be friends!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Offer for her to bring some friends along too.\", \"描述\": \"This is a clear, considerate way to indicate you're not looking for romance. When you ask her out on the platonic date, tell her to let her friends know as well. The cliche, \\\"the more the merrier,\\\" isn't exactly romantic, but that's the point. Asking her to group events will be much easier.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keeping the Date Platonic\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Watch your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Some joking poking and prodding, a light hug, and sitting next to each other is fine, but brushing her shoulders or cheeks, snuggling up next to each other, and (of course!) kissing are going to send a very different message. The best ground rule is to act like you were with any other friend, of any gender. Don't overanalyze every gesture or move -- that's what people do on dates! Just be yourself.\\nTry not to touch each other much -- especially if you construe it at all as sexual. If you feel like things are romantic, they are, so move on or find a way to create some distance.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Let her pay for her own things.\", \"描述\": \"If one of you is buying the other's dinner or the movie tickets, you're starting to steer yourself into dating territory. Let her buy her food, and you buy yours. Remember, going out platonically is just like going out with friends -- and you wouldn't buy your buddy's taxi ride just for nothing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Act like friends, and don't treat her any more special than anyone else.\", \"描述\": \"If you're your normal, friendly self, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Whenever you're together, try not to overthink things or worry about signals. Just relax and be a friend, like you would with any of \\\"the guys.\\\" The more you keep things friendly in general, the more platonic you'll come off when you ask her out.\\nYou shouldn't treat her like \\\"girlfriend-lite.\\\" You want to treat her like a normal friend whose opinion you admire and who you like spending time with.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Mention your significant other, if you have one, to show you're not interested in dating.\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to make it obvious that the date is platonic is to talk about the person you're actually dating. Even if you're not currently seeing anyone, you may feel comfortable enough to mention that you're not interested in dating, though you have to see how to conversation plays out. Some ways to be subtle include:\\n\\\"You like that band? My girlfriend loves them too!\\\"\\n\\\"You would get along great with _______, I'd love you to meet her.\\\"\\nYou should also ask about her love life -- asking \\\"who are you crushing on?\\\" or \\\"any luck finding a new man?\\\" will show that you're just friend's gossiping.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep your plans loose.\", \"描述\": \"If you run into other friends, go join them. If she suggests something different to do, or you change your mind, go with the flow. Don't worry about keeping things perfect or \\\"running\\\" the date well. This is just two friends hanging out, and overthinking things tends to give the impression of a \\\"real\\\" date. \\nDo not invite her back to your place, especially if you're just getting to know one another.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Managing Changing Feelings\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine where you stand on a potential romantic relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Do you want to get to know her better in the hopes of dating down the line, or do you want to keep things firmly friendly? Both are perfectly fine, but you should take some time to think about this, especially if she seems to be developing feelings or wanting more. Be honest with yourself, and what you want, and it will be much easier to handle and changing feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Maintain your boundaries.\", \"描述\": \"There comes a point where, unless you're looking to move forward into romance, you're just going to have to hang out with other people. This line is different for everyone, and a lot depends on your personal boundaries. That said, some good ground rules include:\\n\\n of any kind, including kissing. This is especially important when drinking, as the \\\"friendly hook-up\\\" sounds like a much better idea than it is.\\n of both genders. A large, varied friend group can keep you from becoming too dependent on each other.\\n especially if one of you develops feelings. Holding and hiding things tends to let the feelings balloon up and grow until they are much harder to manage.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Hang out in groups, not just one on one.\", \"描述\": \"Romantic dates are almost strictly two people affairs, but platonic friends tend to hang out in groups. This doesn't mean you can't ask a girl out platonically by herself. Rather, you should feel comfortable hanging out with others as well, sending the message that you're interested as friends, not as partners.\\nInviting her to group events shows that she is part of the gang -- a valued friend instead of a special someone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Know that the occasional temptation doesn't mean you can't be friends anymore.\", \"描述\": \"By definition, platonic friends are those that could have a sexual relationship but don't. So it is only natural that you'll occasionally feel a spark of something more, even if you don't want to pursue it. This is fine, as long as you stay honest with yourself. \\nAlways ask, \\\"is giving in to this temptation worth potentially losing my friendship?\\\"\\nIf you feel her getting interested, or flirting, don't flirt back. You don't have to say anything about it, but you shouldn't condone the behavior unless you want to send mixed signals.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,542 | How to Ask a Girl Out When You Have Been Friends for Years | 1. Determining if She’s Interested
1-1. Look for signs of romantic interest.
It can be very difficult to tell if someone is interested in you, especially when it’s a friend that you already have feelings for. However, there are a few signs you can look for that might indicate that your friend feels the same way. Some signs of romantic interest might include that she:
Finds reasons to run into you when you don’t have plans to hang out
Likes to bring up inside jokes or memories you two share
Follows and likes a lot of what you do and say on social media
1-2. Watch her body language.
Body language can say a lot about how people feel, including whether your friend is interested in you the same way you are in her. Body language to watch for that suggests romantic interest includes:
She might expose her wrists. It's a sign of submission females use to attract males. If she is not wearing long sleeves, it may just be exposing the underside of her wrists by turning one upwards, possibly while holding a wine glass or smoking a cigarette.
She might try to close distances between you, such as by sitting beside or across from you, passing you things often, or even edging her drink closer toward you
Touching her neck and looking at you
Playing with the rim of her glass when you're having dinner or drinks
Making frequent eye contact with you, even if she looks away after locking eyes
1-3. Find out if she's dating anyone.
Asking a friend on a date can be risky, and you want to make sure the timing is right before you commit. You should be sure she isn't already seeing someone else, otherwise you might put yourself, her, and your friendship in an awkward position.
To find out if she's dating anyone, try to bring it up casually. Try saying something like, “Have you met anyone interesting on Tinder lately,” or, “So did things ever work out with that guy you were seeing a while back.”
If you're not comfortable asking her yourself, you can always ask mutual friends if she's seeing anyone.
1-4. Ask her how she feels.
One of the simplest and most effective ways to find out if your friend feels the same way that you do is to ask her. It may seem forward, but you will end up with a much more accurate answer than if you try to figure it out on your own. If you're not sure what to say, try:
“Have you ever thought about us as more than friends?”
“If we were to go on a date, where would you take me?”
“Do you think about us when we aren't together?”
“Do you have feelings for me beyond friendship?”
2. Turning a Friendship Into a Romance
2-1. Accentuate the features she finds attractive.
When you’ve been friends with a girl for a long time, you'll likely have a good idea of the qualities and characteristics she typically finds attractive in a person. If you have any of these qualities, emphasize them when you spend time with her.
For example, if your friend finds humor to be an attractive quality and thinks you're funny, tell even more jokes when she's around.
Similarly, if there are particular physical characteristics that your friend likes, wear clothes that emphasize that part of your body when you're together.
While it’s good to accentuate qualities that you already have, it’s important that you don’t pretend to have certain qualities just to impress your friend. She will likely see through your ruse, and if she doesn’t, you'll be stuck pretending to be someone you aren't.
2-2. Flirt with her.
Flirting is a great and subtle way to suggest that you're interested and to arouse new feelings in your friend. This is important because you have to get her to see you as a possible love interest, rather than just a friend. There are a number of ways you can flirt with her, including:
Orient your body to face her when you two are talking, and lean in slightly when you're engaged in conversation.
Sit closer to her than you normally do when you're together.
Make frequent eye contact with her, and allow your gaze to linger.
Laugh often around her and smile at her frequently
2-3. Treat her like a love interest.
One major thing that will have to change in order for your friend to see you as a love interest is that you'll have to start treating her like one. This includes:
Complimenting and flattering her
Paying for meals and drinks now and then
Giving her your undivided attention
Not talking about other women that you're attracted to
Picking her up and driving her home sometimes
2-4. Initiate more physical contact.
One of the biggest things that may change between you and your friend if you start dating is the amount of physical contact you share. Start with a subtle touch, like brushing your hand against hers. Then, pay attention to whether she seems comfortable with that. If she does, you might escalate things by:
Touching her arm or hand more often
Touching her back or shoulders
Grazing her foot with yours
Resting your hand on her leg briefly
2-5. Go on date-like outings.
This means engaging in activities that you would normally reserve for someone you were dating. You can do this without actually asking your friend out yet. Instead, when you're planning time together, suggest date-type outings and events. This could include:
Having dinner at a romantic restaurant
Going dancing
Seeing a movie together
Cooking for her at your house
3. Asking Her Out
3-1. Be prepared for the consequences.
Friendships can be delicate, and unrequited romantic feelings can cause awkwardness. Asking out a friend can change the friendship, change group dynamics with mutual friends, and can even end the friendship.
Be aware that asking your friend out might strain the relationship, and you may not see each other for a while.
Once you ask your friend out, she may not feel comfortable being friends with you anymore.
Even if you want to keep it private, your mutual friends might find out as well, and relationships with them could also become strained.
3-2. Pick the right time.
While you might ask a stranger out on a date in front of other friends, the dynamic is different when it’s someone you're already friends with. When you're planning to ask her, make sure that she's in a place where she's comfortable, you're alone together, and you can both leave separately, if you need to.
If you've been platonic friends for a while, the girl may not see you as a romantic figure. To help change that, try asking her out in a setting that she's not used to seeing you in. For instance, you might throw a house party where you invite all your coolest friends, so she'll have a chance to see you in a different light.
3-3. Don’t make a confession.
Avoid approaching the subject like you have a secret you want to tell her, and don’t start by saying you’ve had feelings for her for a while. Instead, ask your friend out just like you would if she were any other crush.
3-4. Be confident.
No matter how nervous you are, on the outside you should try to act like this is any other meeting between you two. Remember, dating should be fun, so try to pump yourself up to feel excited, rather than nervous. Act as though you know she's going to say yes, and when you ask her out:
Be direct
Look her in the eyes when you ask, not at the ground
Try not to be too nervous, and avoid fidgeting
Stand or sit up straight
Keep your chin up
3-5. Ask her on a date.
While you should broach the topic of the date with your friend like you would anyone else, you might want to make the proposition a little more special. Since you know her and know what she likes, customize the date for her. Be sure to include a specific time and date. To ask her out, say something like:
“I know you’ve been dying to try that new restaurant, and I want to take you there at 8 p.m. this Saturday, just you and me. What do you say, is it a date?”
“You keep talking about that adventure. Let’s go on a date this Sunday at noon and I’ll take you.”
3-6. Be clear about what you want.
When you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, asking her to hang out with you could seem like any other platonic get-together. Make sure you say that you want to go on a date with her, and be clear that the date is romantic, so there won't be any confusion about your intentions.
Do not use the term “hang out,” or she may think you mean any old get-together.
Make sure you use the word “date” when you ask her out.
Be sure to mention it will just be the two of you.
If she asks you something like, “You mean you want to go on a date,” answer with a confident “yes.”
3-7. Explain how important your friendship is.
Often times, people don’t want to date friends because they cherish the friendship and worry about how a date or break-up could change things. Reassure your friend that the friendship is important to you too, and that you don’t want to lose her, but want to take the relationship to a deeper level. You can say something like:
“Your friendship means more to me than a romantic relationship, and I don’t want to risk that, but still want to ask you out”
“I want to be friends with you no matter what, even if you aren't interested”
“I still want to be friends, but am also curious about what we’d be like on a date together.”
3-8. Play it cool if she says no.
The situation will only be awkward if you allow it to be, so you must go in to this prepared for her to say no. Continue on with your friendship as you normally would.
Be patient as well. It’s entirely possible that she said no because your question caught her off guard. After having some time to think about it, she may realize she actually does have feelings for you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Determining if She’s Interested\\n1-1. Look for signs of romantic interest.\\nIt can be very difficult to tell if someone is interested in you, especially when it’s a friend that you already have feelings for. However, there are a few signs you can look for that might indicate that your friend feels the same way. Some signs of romantic interest might include that she:\\nFinds reasons to run into you when you don’t have plans to hang out\\nLikes to bring up inside jokes or memories you two share\\nFollows and likes a lot of what you do and say on social media\\n1-2. Watch her body language.\\nBody language can say a lot about how people feel, including whether your friend is interested in you the same way you are in her. Body language to watch for that suggests romantic interest includes:\\nShe might expose her wrists. It's a sign of submission females use to attract males. If she is not wearing long sleeves, it may just be exposing the underside of her wrists by turning one upwards, possibly while holding a wine glass or smoking a cigarette.\\nShe might try to close distances between you, such as by sitting beside or across from you, passing you things often, or even edging her drink closer toward you\\nTouching her neck and looking at you\\nPlaying with the rim of her glass when you're having dinner or drinks\\nMaking frequent eye contact with you, even if she looks away after locking eyes\\n1-3. Find out if she's dating anyone.\\nAsking a friend on a date can be risky, and you want to make sure the timing is right before you commit. You should be sure she isn't already seeing someone else, otherwise you might put yourself, her, and your friendship in an awkward position.\\nTo find out if she's dating anyone, try to bring it up casually. Try saying something like, “Have you met anyone interesting on Tinder lately,” or, “So did things ever work out with that guy you were seeing a while back.”\\nIf you're not comfortable asking her yourself, you can always ask mutual friends if she's seeing anyone.\\n1-4. Ask her how she feels.\\nOne of the simplest and most effective ways to find out if your friend feels the same way that you do is to ask her. It may seem forward, but you will end up with a much more accurate answer than if you try to figure it out on your own. If you're not sure what to say, try:\\n“Have you ever thought about us as more than friends?”\\n“If we were to go on a date, where would you take me?”\\n“Do you think about us when we aren't together?”\\n“Do you have feelings for me beyond friendship?”\\n2. Turning a Friendship Into a Romance\\n2-1. Accentuate the features she finds attractive.\\nWhen you’ve been friends with a girl for a long time, you'll likely have a good idea of the qualities and characteristics she typically finds attractive in a person. If you have any of these qualities, emphasize them when you spend time with her.\\nFor example, if your friend finds humor to be an attractive quality and thinks you're funny, tell even more jokes when she's around.\\nSimilarly, if there are particular physical characteristics that your friend likes, wear clothes that emphasize that part of your body when you're together.\\nWhile it’s good to accentuate qualities that you already have, it’s important that you don’t pretend to have certain qualities just to impress your friend. She will likely see through your ruse, and if she doesn’t, you'll be stuck pretending to be someone you aren't.\\n2-2. Flirt with her.\\nFlirting is a great and subtle way to suggest that you're interested and to arouse new feelings in your friend. This is important because you have to get her to see you as a possible love interest, rather than just a friend. There are a number of ways you can flirt with her, including:\\nOrient your body to face her when you two are talking, and lean in slightly when you're engaged in conversation.\\nSit closer to her than you normally do when you're together.\\nMake frequent eye contact with her, and allow your gaze to linger.\\nLaugh often around her and smile at her frequently\\n2-3. Treat her like a love interest.\\nOne major thing that will have to change in order for your friend to see you as a love interest is that you'll have to start treating her like one. This includes:\\nComplimenting and flattering her\\nPaying for meals and drinks now and then\\nGiving her your undivided attention\\nNot talking about other women that you're attracted to\\nPicking her up and driving her home sometimes\\n2-4. Initiate more physical contact.\\nOne of the biggest things that may change between you and your friend if you start dating is the amount of physical contact you share. Start with a subtle touch, like brushing your hand against hers. Then, pay attention to whether she seems comfortable with that. If she does, you might escalate things by:\\nTouching her arm or hand more often\\nTouching her back or shoulders\\nGrazing her foot with yours\\nResting your hand on her leg briefly\\n2-5. Go on date-like outings.\\nThis means engaging in activities that you would normally reserve for someone you were dating. You can do this without actually asking your friend out yet. Instead, when you're planning time together, suggest date-type outings and events. This could include:\\nHaving dinner at a romantic restaurant\\nGoing dancing\\nSeeing a movie together\\nCooking for her at your house\\n3. Asking Her Out\\n3-1. Be prepared for the consequences.\\nFriendships can be delicate, and unrequited romantic feelings can cause awkwardness. Asking out a friend can change the friendship, change group dynamics with mutual friends, and can even end the friendship.\\nBe aware that asking your friend out might strain the relationship, and you may not see each other for a while.\\nOnce you ask your friend out, she may not feel comfortable being friends with you anymore.\\nEven if you want to keep it private, your mutual friends might find out as well, and relationships with them could also become strained.\\n3-2. Pick the right time.\\nWhile you might ask a stranger out on a date in front of other friends, the dynamic is different when it’s someone you're already friends with. When you're planning to ask her, make sure that she's in a place where she's comfortable, you're alone together, and you can both leave separately, if you need to.\\nIf you've been platonic friends for a while, the girl may not see you as a romantic figure. To help change that, try asking her out in a setting that she's not used to seeing you in. For instance, you might throw a house party where you invite all your coolest friends, so she'll have a chance to see you in a different light.\\n3-3. Don’t make a confession.\\nAvoid approaching the subject like you have a secret you want to tell her, and don’t start by saying you’ve had feelings for her for a while. Instead, ask your friend out just like you would if she were any other crush.\\n3-4. Be confident.\\nNo matter how nervous you are, on the outside you should try to act like this is any other meeting between you two. Remember, dating should be fun, so try to pump yourself up to feel excited, rather than nervous. Act as though you know she's going to say yes, and when you ask her out:\\nBe direct\\nLook her in the eyes when you ask, not at the ground\\nTry not to be too nervous, and avoid fidgeting\\nStand or sit up straight\\nKeep your chin up\\n3-5. Ask her on a date.\\nWhile you should broach the topic of the date with your friend like you would anyone else, you might want to make the proposition a little more special. Since you know her and know what she likes, customize the date for her. Be sure to include a specific time and date. To ask her out, say something like:\\n“I know you’ve been dying to try that new restaurant, and I want to take you there at 8 p.m. this Saturday, just you and me. What do you say, is it a date?”\\n“You keep talking about that adventure. Let’s go on a date this Sunday at noon and I’ll take you.”\\n3-6. Be clear about what you want.\\nWhen you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, asking her to hang out with you could seem like any other platonic get-together. Make sure you say that you want to go on a date with her, and be clear that the date is romantic, so there won't be any confusion about your intentions.\\nDo not use the term “hang out,” or she may think you mean any old get-together.\\nMake sure you use the word “date” when you ask her out.\\nBe sure to mention it will just be the two of you.\\nIf she asks you something like, “You mean you want to go on a date,” answer with a confident “yes.”\\n3-7. Explain how important your friendship is.\\nOften times, people don’t want to date friends because they cherish the friendship and worry about how a date or break-up could change things. Reassure your friend that the friendship is important to you too, and that you don’t want to lose her, but want to take the relationship to a deeper level. You can say something like:\\n“Your friendship means more to me than a romantic relationship, and I don’t want to risk that, but still want to ask you out”\\n“I want to be friends with you no matter what, even if you aren't interested”\\n“I still want to be friends, but am also curious about what we’d be like on a date together.”\\n3-8. Play it cool if she says no.\\nThe situation will only be awkward if you allow it to be, so you must go in to this prepared for her to say no. Continue on with your friendship as you normally would.\\nBe patient as well. It’s entirely possible that she said no because your question caught her off guard. After having some time to think about it, she may realize she actually does have feelings for you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a girl out on a date is extremely nerve-racking for most people, and it can be even more difficult when you’ve been friends with her for a long time. The trick is getting your friend to think of you in a different light before you ask her out, because if she just thinks of you as a friend, she may not be receptive to dating you. But once you take a few steps to create a romantic interest, your friend may start having more intimate feelings about you and be more likely to say yes to a date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determining if She’s Interested\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look for signs of romantic interest.\", \"描述\": \"It can be very difficult to tell if someone is interested in you, especially when it’s a friend that you already have feelings for. However, there are a few signs you can look for that might indicate that your friend feels the same way. Some signs of romantic interest might include that she:\\nFinds reasons to run into you when you don’t have plans to hang out\\nLikes to bring up inside jokes or memories you two share\\nFollows and likes a lot of what you do and say on social media\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Watch her body language.\", \"描述\": \"Body language can say a lot about how people feel, including whether your friend is interested in you the same way you are in her. Body language to watch for that suggests romantic interest includes:\\nShe might expose her wrists. It's a sign of submission females use to attract males. If she is not wearing long sleeves, it may just be exposing the underside of her wrists by turning one upwards, possibly while holding a wine glass or smoking a cigarette.\\nShe might try to close distances between you, such as by sitting beside or across from you, passing you things often, or even edging her drink closer toward you\\nTouching her neck and looking at you\\nPlaying with the rim of her glass when you're having dinner or drinks\\nMaking frequent eye contact with you, even if she looks away after locking eyes\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find out if she's dating anyone.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a friend on a date can be risky, and you want to make sure the timing is right before you commit. You should be sure she isn't already seeing someone else, otherwise you might put yourself, her, and your friendship in an awkward position.\\nTo find out if she's dating anyone, try to bring it up casually. Try saying something like, “Have you met anyone interesting on Tinder lately,” or, “So did things ever work out with that guy you were seeing a while back.”\\nIf you're not comfortable asking her yourself, you can always ask mutual friends if she's seeing anyone.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her how she feels.\", \"描述\": \"One of the simplest and most effective ways to find out if your friend feels the same way that you do is to ask her. It may seem forward, but you will end up with a much more accurate answer than if you try to figure it out on your own. If you're not sure what to say, try:\\n“Have you ever thought about us as more than friends?”\\n“If we were to go on a date, where would you take me?”\\n“Do you think about us when we aren't together?”\\n“Do you have feelings for me beyond friendship?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Turning a Friendship Into a Romance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Accentuate the features she finds attractive.\", \"描述\": \"When you’ve been friends with a girl for a long time, you'll likely have a good idea of the qualities and characteristics she typically finds attractive in a person. If you have any of these qualities, emphasize them when you spend time with her.\\nFor example, if your friend finds humor to be an attractive quality and thinks you're funny, tell even more jokes when she's around.\\nSimilarly, if there are particular physical characteristics that your friend likes, wear clothes that emphasize that part of your body when you're together.\\nWhile it’s good to accentuate qualities that you already have, it’s important that you don’t pretend to have certain qualities just to impress your friend. She will likely see through your ruse, and if she doesn’t, you'll be stuck pretending to be someone you aren't.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirt with her.\", \"描述\": \"Flirting is a great and subtle way to suggest that you're interested and to arouse new feelings in your friend. This is important because you have to get her to see you as a possible love interest, rather than just a friend. There are a number of ways you can flirt with her, including:\\nOrient your body to face her when you two are talking, and lean in slightly when you're engaged in conversation.\\nSit closer to her than you normally do when you're together.\\nMake frequent eye contact with her, and allow your gaze to linger.\\nLaugh often around her and smile at her frequently\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Treat her like a love interest.\", \"描述\": \"One major thing that will have to change in order for your friend to see you as a love interest is that you'll have to start treating her like one. This includes:\\nComplimenting and flattering her\\nPaying for meals and drinks now and then\\nGiving her your undivided attention\\nNot talking about other women that you're attracted to\\nPicking her up and driving her home sometimes\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Initiate more physical contact.\", \"描述\": \"One of the biggest things that may change between you and your friend if you start dating is the amount of physical contact you share. Start with a subtle touch, like brushing your hand against hers. Then, pay attention to whether she seems comfortable with that. If she does, you might escalate things by:\\nTouching her arm or hand more often\\nTouching her back or shoulders\\nGrazing her foot with yours\\nResting your hand on her leg briefly\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go on date-like outings.\", \"描述\": \"This means engaging in activities that you would normally reserve for someone you were dating. You can do this without actually asking your friend out yet. Instead, when you're planning time together, suggest date-type outings and events. This could include:\\nHaving dinner at a romantic restaurant\\nGoing dancing\\nSeeing a movie together\\nCooking for her at your house\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be prepared for the consequences.\", \"描述\": \"Friendships can be delicate, and unrequited romantic feelings can cause awkwardness. Asking out a friend can change the friendship, change group dynamics with mutual friends, and can even end the friendship.\\nBe aware that asking your friend out might strain the relationship, and you may not see each other for a while.\\nOnce you ask your friend out, she may not feel comfortable being friends with you anymore.\\nEven if you want to keep it private, your mutual friends might find out as well, and relationships with them could also become strained.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick the right time.\", \"描述\": \"While you might ask a stranger out on a date in front of other friends, the dynamic is different when it’s someone you're already friends with. When you're planning to ask her, make sure that she's in a place where she's comfortable, you're alone together, and you can both leave separately, if you need to.\\nIf you've been platonic friends for a while, the girl may not see you as a romantic figure. To help change that, try asking her out in a setting that she's not used to seeing you in. For instance, you might throw a house party where you invite all your coolest friends, so she'll have a chance to see you in a different light.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t make a confession.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid approaching the subject like you have a secret you want to tell her, and don’t start by saying you’ve had feelings for her for a while. Instead, ask your friend out just like you would if she were any other crush.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"No matter how nervous you are, on the outside you should try to act like this is any other meeting between you two. Remember, dating should be fun, so try to pump yourself up to feel excited, rather than nervous. Act as though you know she's going to say yes, and when you ask her out:\\nBe direct\\nLook her in the eyes when you ask, not at the ground\\nTry not to be too nervous, and avoid fidgeting\\nStand or sit up straight\\nKeep your chin up\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask her on a date.\", \"描述\": \"While you should broach the topic of the date with your friend like you would anyone else, you might want to make the proposition a little more special. Since you know her and know what she likes, customize the date for her. Be sure to include a specific time and date. To ask her out, say something like:\\n“I know you’ve been dying to try that new restaurant, and I want to take you there at 8 p.m. this Saturday, just you and me. What do you say, is it a date?”\\n“You keep talking about that adventure. Let’s go on a date this Sunday at noon and I’ll take you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be clear about what you want.\", \"描述\": \"When you’ve been friends with someone for a long time, asking her to hang out with you could seem like any other platonic get-together. Make sure you say that you want to go on a date with her, and be clear that the date is romantic, so there won't be any confusion about your intentions.\\nDo not use the term “hang out,” or she may think you mean any old get-together.\\nMake sure you use the word “date” when you ask her out.\\nBe sure to mention it will just be the two of you.\\nIf she asks you something like, “You mean you want to go on a date,” answer with a confident “yes.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Explain how important your friendship is.\", \"描述\": \"Often times, people don’t want to date friends because they cherish the friendship and worry about how a date or break-up could change things. Reassure your friend that the friendship is important to you too, and that you don’t want to lose her, but want to take the relationship to a deeper level. You can say something like:\\n“Your friendship means more to me than a romantic relationship, and I don’t want to risk that, but still want to ask you out”\\n“I want to be friends with you no matter what, even if you aren't interested”\\n“I still want to be friends, but am also curious about what we’d be like on a date together.”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Play it cool if she says no.\", \"描述\": \"The situation will only be awkward if you allow it to be, so you must go in to this prepared for her to say no. Continue on with your friendship as you normally would.\\nBe patient as well. It’s entirely possible that she said no because your question caught her off guard. After having some time to think about it, she may realize she actually does have feelings for you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,543 | How to Ask a Girl Out if She Is Already Dating | 1. Assessing the Situation
1-1. Talk to her about her relationship.
If you are brave, ask her directly. She may suspect your motives if you ask her directly, so don’t choose this option if you want to keep your intentions a secret. Ask her casually: “Hey, I was wondering, do you have a partner? I was just curious.”
1-2. Ask her how serious the relationship is.
If you’ve already felt comfortable enough to ask her if she’s dating, go ahead and ask her how serious the relationship is. If it’s serious, it might be harder to ask her out, but if it’s just a fling, she may still be interested in seeing you. Ask: “Is it a really serious relationship, or more casual?” Once again, she may know immediately where the conversation is going if you ask her specifically, so be careful.
1-3. Ask her how happy she is.
Be direct, but careful. Say: “How is your relationship with your partner? Are you happy?” Be very cautious talking to her about this: she may become defensive or be offended that you’re asking about her private life. Her reaction will depend entirely on her personality, so gauge her answers from previous questions to see if she’ll respond well to really personal questions like this. If she seems uncomfortable being questioned, ask her friends or find some other way.
1-4. Use indirect clues.
Asking directly may be a little dangerous, because she may be offended if you ask her about her relationship. Personal questions may make her uncomfortable, and she may know exactly where you're going with your line of questions.
Ask indirect questions. By asking her “What are you up to tonight?” Or “What do you like to do for fun?”, she may mention her partner offhand and save you the trouble of having to ask directly.
Look for signs of flirting. While some girls are naturally flirty whether they're single or not, but if she seems into you, chances are higher that she's single. See how much you can flirt back. If she responds positively, she's probably single.
See what she shops for. If you're lucky enough to meet a girl in a store instead of at school or work, you may be able to get some clues from her shopping. Look for family size food items, items obviously for men, or baby products.
1-5. Ask her friends if she’s in a relationship.
Her friends will know a lot about her relationship and be able to help you out. While her friends may tell her that you’ve asked about her relationship, you’re more likely to be able to keep your intentions secret this way.
Ask her friends how serious the relationship is. Her friends will be able to give you a more impartial answer than she might. Friends see a relationship from the outside, so they may be able to give more valuable information about where her relationship with her partner is going, and what kind of dating patterns she has.
Ask her friends if she’s happy. Asking her friends about her happiness may be better than asking her directly, because they’re likely to be less offended and have more impartial information on her relationship. They may spend a lot of time with her and her significant other, and they might see or hear about small fights or disagreements.
1-6. Check her social media profiles.
While this method might make you feel a bit like you’re snooping, it is the easiest way to find out her relationship status without tipping your hand. Facebook profiles have a specific section for relationship status, while Instagram posts and Tweets might give you an idea about whether she’s single or not. Don’t get too discouraged by pictures of her with other people though. They may be old partners or other close friends.
See if she seems happy. Social media probably won’t be able to tell you how serious a relationship is, but it may give you important information about how happy her relationship is. Check her pages to see if she posts about fights or disagreements with her partner. Be very careful to only use these as a gauge, not evidence. Don’t talk to her about specific posts that you saw, because she may think that you are snooping through her posts.
2. Talking to Her
2-1. Talk about relationships.
Before you get too direct and ask her out, float a conversation about relationships in general. Start the conversation with normal small talk about her day or how she's doing, but then ask how her relationship is going. Relationships are a normal subject of conversation, so she shouldn't be too suspicious if you keep it light and friendly. Use this talk about relationships to bridge towards asking her out.
2-2. Ask her out.
If you find that she’s in a relationship but it’s either not serious or not very happy, try to be bold and ask her out. This method takes some guts, because you have no idea how she’ll react, or what the outcome will be like, but it’s worth it because she may say yes.
Say: “Hey, I know that you’re in a relationship, but I get the feeling that it’s not serious/not going well. Would you want to go on a date with me? I promise not to make any moves or disrespect your relationship. I just want to get to know you better." This method places emphasis on the quality of her relationship, and hints to her that you may be better for her.
For another angle, try saying: “I know this is really forward, and I know that you’re seeing someone already. But would you like to go on a date with me? I think you’re great.” This choice leaves out everything about the quality or seriousness of her relationship, and simply lets her know that you’re interested in her regardless of her relationship status.
2-3. Acknowledge her relationship.
Make sure not to be too disparaging towards her partner. Not only will this be questioning her taste in people, but if she has feelings for them, you could seriously offend her. Tell her that you know that she has a partner, and that you don't want to get in the way if it's serious, but that you'd like to get to know her better.
2-4. Try giving her your number.
Instead of asking her out, try writing down your number and giving it to her. This makes your intentions pretty clear, but saves you the trouble of trying to find the perfect way to ask her out. You'll only have to pass her the number and tell her to call you sometime. She may get in touch with you when things get rocky with her other half, or she may start texting or talking to you immediately to get to know you.
2-5. Let her bring it up.
Sometimes, you may not have to make the first move. If you start talking to a girl that you know has a significant other, she may still flirt with you or make it clear that she’s interested in you. In this case, let her bring up a date. Ask her: “Are you busy after school?” Or “When do you get off work?” These questions are open ended and allow her to propose a time for you to meet up and get to know each other.
3. Being Respectful
3-1. Be respectful if her partner learns you've asked her out.
It's likely they'll be upset that you're trying to take their girlfriend, so prepare to apologize if necessary. If she decides to go out with you, they'll be even more upset. Try to avoid them, but if they come to talk to you, apologize to them and explain that you have no intention of breaking up with her.
3-2. Decide what to do if you’ve been “friend zoned”.
Girls often like having male friends, so you need to make sure that you don’t end up more of a friend in her eyes than a potential lover. If you spend time with her and she doesn’t break up with her partner, chances are, she sees you as a friend and doesn’t want to date you. She may enjoy spending time with you, but that doesn’t mean that she is attracted to you.
One signal of the friendzone is a lot of talk about feelings. If she starts contacting you frequently to talk about her feelings, or if she uses you as a sounding board to complain about her significant other, she most likely sees you as a friend.
Listen to how she talks about you. If she talks to her friends about you, but consistently mentions that you’re “just a friend,” or “just a good guy”, chances are, she is not interested in dating you.
See if she still flirts with you. If she flirts with you and seems genuinely interested, you may have a chance. But as time goes on and she flirts with you less and less without breaking it off with her boyfriend, you are most likely in the “friend zone”.
Break things off with her. If you are still interested in dating her but she sees you as a friend, break off the friendship. You will only get hurt if you end up as a third wheel. She can’t help who she is attracted to, and if only sees you as a friend, she’s unlikely to change her mind.
Stay friends with her. If you decide that you value her friendship more than a potential romantic relationship, it is okay to stay friends with her. It’s completely possible to have strong, healthy relationships with people of the opposite gender, but you’ll have to get comfortable with the fact that things will be just platonic.
3-3. Don’t enable her to cheat on her partner.
If the girl really likes you, but is in a serious relationship, she may be tempted to cheat on her partner with you. Be clear with her that you won’t do anything with her unless she breaks it off with her current partner.
If she cheats on her partner with you, this is a red flag that she could cheat on you if you ever end up together. Many people who cheat on their partners do so compulsively, and it may be impossible to trust them.
Don’t become a “side guy”. If her current relationship isn’t serious, but she still doesn’t want to break it off, you face the danger of being strung along. She may call you often or spend romantic time with you, but this will only lead to you getting hurt. She will most likely never commit to you or leave her relationship: she’ll just use you instead.
3-4. Let her go if it's not working.
If you’re really attracted to a girl, you may be tempted to ask her out a few times even if she’s got someone else. However, you need to be realistic about your chances of success. If she continually reminds you that she has a partner, or says no to offers for dates, you’ll only make her frustrated as time goes on. Remember that there are “more fish in the sea” and move on to other girls if things don’t develop.
Tips
Try to be confident in yourself. Girls love confidence, and respond well to direct, assertive questions.
Always respect her decision. If she decides not to go out with you, she may have a number of reasons for doing so. Don’t get angry with her or be frustrated. It’s not about you, it’s about her decision.
Make yourself attractive to her. You’ll have a better chance of succeeding getting a date if you dress well, take care of your personal hygiene and exercise.
Warnings
Don’t be too hard on yourself. If she says no, you may feel depressed or inadequate. Work on the areas where you feel you are lacking, but don’t beat yourself up.
Do not confront her partner. Starting fights or causing issues with her current partner may seem like an “alpha male” way to impress the girl, but it can end up poorly. Physical fights and aggression can get you hurt or even arrested and can make the girl dislike you.
Never get involved with a married woman. A dating relationship can easily be ended, but a marriage cannot. You can do serious damage to people’s lives when cheating with a married person, especially if there are children involved.
Do not get too attached. Getting too attached to a girl often ends with feelings being hurt, especially if you don’t know her that well. She may decide not to date you, and if you’re too attached, you may end up with a broken heart.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:55",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Assessing the Situation\\n1-1. Talk to her about her relationship.\\nIf you are brave, ask her directly. She may suspect your motives if you ask her directly, so don’t choose this option if you want to keep your intentions a secret. Ask her casually: “Hey, I was wondering, do you have a partner? I was just curious.”\\n1-2. Ask her how serious the relationship is.\\nIf you’ve already felt comfortable enough to ask her if she’s dating, go ahead and ask her how serious the relationship is. If it’s serious, it might be harder to ask her out, but if it’s just a fling, she may still be interested in seeing you. Ask: “Is it a really serious relationship, or more casual?” Once again, she may know immediately where the conversation is going if you ask her specifically, so be careful.\\n1-3. Ask her how happy she is.\\nBe direct, but careful. Say: “How is your relationship with your partner? Are you happy?” Be very cautious talking to her about this: she may become defensive or be offended that you’re asking about her private life. Her reaction will depend entirely on her personality, so gauge her answers from previous questions to see if she’ll respond well to really personal questions like this. If she seems uncomfortable being questioned, ask her friends or find some other way.\\n1-4. Use indirect clues.\\nAsking directly may be a little dangerous, because she may be offended if you ask her about her relationship. Personal questions may make her uncomfortable, and she may know exactly where you're going with your line of questions.\\nAsk indirect questions. By asking her “What are you up to tonight?” Or “What do you like to do for fun?”, she may mention her partner offhand and save you the trouble of having to ask directly.\\nLook for signs of flirting. While some girls are naturally flirty whether they're single or not, but if she seems into you, chances are higher that she's single. See how much you can flirt back. If she responds positively, she's probably single.\\nSee what she shops for. If you're lucky enough to meet a girl in a store instead of at school or work, you may be able to get some clues from her shopping. Look for family size food items, items obviously for men, or baby products.\\n1-5. Ask her friends if she’s in a relationship.\\nHer friends will know a lot about her relationship and be able to help you out. While her friends may tell her that you’ve asked about her relationship, you’re more likely to be able to keep your intentions secret this way.\\nAsk her friends how serious the relationship is. Her friends will be able to give you a more impartial answer than she might. Friends see a relationship from the outside, so they may be able to give more valuable information about where her relationship with her partner is going, and what kind of dating patterns she has.\\nAsk her friends if she’s happy. Asking her friends about her happiness may be better than asking her directly, because they’re likely to be less offended and have more impartial information on her relationship. They may spend a lot of time with her and her significant other, and they might see or hear about small fights or disagreements.\\n1-6. Check her social media profiles.\\nWhile this method might make you feel a bit like you’re snooping, it is the easiest way to find out her relationship status without tipping your hand. Facebook profiles have a specific section for relationship status, while Instagram posts and Tweets might give you an idea about whether she’s single or not. Don’t get too discouraged by pictures of her with other people though. They may be old partners or other close friends.\\nSee if she seems happy. Social media probably won’t be able to tell you how serious a relationship is, but it may give you important information about how happy her relationship is. Check her pages to see if she posts about fights or disagreements with her partner. Be very careful to only use these as a gauge, not evidence. Don’t talk to her about specific posts that you saw, because she may think that you are snooping through her posts.\\n2. Talking to Her\\n2-1. Talk about relationships.\\nBefore you get too direct and ask her out, float a conversation about relationships in general. Start the conversation with normal small talk about her day or how she's doing, but then ask how her relationship is going. Relationships are a normal subject of conversation, so she shouldn't be too suspicious if you keep it light and friendly. Use this talk about relationships to bridge towards asking her out.\\n2-2. Ask her out.\\nIf you find that she’s in a relationship but it’s either not serious or not very happy, try to be bold and ask her out. This method takes some guts, because you have no idea how she’ll react, or what the outcome will be like, but it’s worth it because she may say yes.\\nSay: “Hey, I know that you’re in a relationship, but I get the feeling that it’s not serious/not going well. Would you want to go on a date with me? I promise not to make any moves or disrespect your relationship. I just want to get to know you better.\\\" This method places emphasis on the quality of her relationship, and hints to her that you may be better for her.\\nFor another angle, try saying: “I know this is really forward, and I know that you’re seeing someone already. But would you like to go on a date with me? I think you’re great.” This choice leaves out everything about the quality or seriousness of her relationship, and simply lets her know that you’re interested in her regardless of her relationship status.\\n2-3. Acknowledge her relationship.\\nMake sure not to be too disparaging towards her partner. Not only will this be questioning her taste in people, but if she has feelings for them, you could seriously offend her. Tell her that you know that she has a partner, and that you don't want to get in the way if it's serious, but that you'd like to get to know her better.\\n2-4. Try giving her your number.\\nInstead of asking her out, try writing down your number and giving it to her. This makes your intentions pretty clear, but saves you the trouble of trying to find the perfect way to ask her out. You'll only have to pass her the number and tell her to call you sometime. She may get in touch with you when things get rocky with her other half, or she may start texting or talking to you immediately to get to know you.\\n2-5. Let her bring it up.\\nSometimes, you may not have to make the first move. If you start talking to a girl that you know has a significant other, she may still flirt with you or make it clear that she’s interested in you. In this case, let her bring up a date. Ask her: “Are you busy after school?” Or “When do you get off work?” These questions are open ended and allow her to propose a time for you to meet up and get to know each other.\\n3. Being Respectful\\n3-1. Be respectful if her partner learns you've asked her out.\\nIt's likely they'll be upset that you're trying to take their girlfriend, so prepare to apologize if necessary. If she decides to go out with you, they'll be even more upset. Try to avoid them, but if they come to talk to you, apologize to them and explain that you have no intention of breaking up with her.\\n3-2. Decide what to do if you’ve been “friend zoned”.\\nGirls often like having male friends, so you need to make sure that you don’t end up more of a friend in her eyes than a potential lover. If you spend time with her and she doesn’t break up with her partner, chances are, she sees you as a friend and doesn’t want to date you. She may enjoy spending time with you, but that doesn’t mean that she is attracted to you.\\nOne signal of the friendzone is a lot of talk about feelings. If she starts contacting you frequently to talk about her feelings, or if she uses you as a sounding board to complain about her significant other, she most likely sees you as a friend.\\nListen to how she talks about you. If she talks to her friends about you, but consistently mentions that you’re “just a friend,” or “just a good guy”, chances are, she is not interested in dating you.\\nSee if she still flirts with you. If she flirts with you and seems genuinely interested, you may have a chance. But as time goes on and she flirts with you less and less without breaking it off with her boyfriend, you are most likely in the “friend zone”.\\nBreak things off with her. If you are still interested in dating her but she sees you as a friend, break off the friendship. You will only get hurt if you end up as a third wheel. She can’t help who she is attracted to, and if only sees you as a friend, she’s unlikely to change her mind.\\nStay friends with her. If you decide that you value her friendship more than a potential romantic relationship, it is okay to stay friends with her. It’s completely possible to have strong, healthy relationships with people of the opposite gender, but you’ll have to get comfortable with the fact that things will be just platonic.\\n3-3. Don’t enable her to cheat on her partner.\\nIf the girl really likes you, but is in a serious relationship, she may be tempted to cheat on her partner with you. Be clear with her that you won’t do anything with her unless she breaks it off with her current partner.\\nIf she cheats on her partner with you, this is a red flag that she could cheat on you if you ever end up together. Many people who cheat on their partners do so compulsively, and it may be impossible to trust them.\\nDon’t become a “side guy”. If her current relationship isn’t serious, but she still doesn’t want to break it off, you face the danger of being strung along. She may call you often or spend romantic time with you, but this will only lead to you getting hurt. She will most likely never commit to you or leave her relationship: she’ll just use you instead.\\n3-4. Let her go if it's not working.\\nIf you’re really attracted to a girl, you may be tempted to ask her out a few times even if she’s got someone else. However, you need to be realistic about your chances of success. If she continually reminds you that she has a partner, or says no to offers for dates, you’ll only make her frustrated as time goes on. Remember that there are “more fish in the sea” and move on to other girls if things don’t develop.\\nTips\\nTry to be confident in yourself. Girls love confidence, and respond well to direct, assertive questions.\\nAlways respect her decision. If she decides not to go out with you, she may have a number of reasons for doing so. Don’t get angry with her or be frustrated. It’s not about you, it’s about her decision.\\nMake yourself attractive to her. You’ll have a better chance of succeeding getting a date if you dress well, take care of your personal hygiene and exercise.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t be too hard on yourself. If she says no, you may feel depressed or inadequate. Work on the areas where you feel you are lacking, but don’t beat yourself up.\\nDo not confront her partner. Starting fights or causing issues with her current partner may seem like an “alpha male” way to impress the girl, but it can end up poorly. Physical fights and aggression can get you hurt or even arrested and can make the girl dislike you.\\nNever get involved with a married woman. A dating relationship can easily be ended, but a marriage cannot. You can do serious damage to people’s lives when cheating with a married person, especially if there are children involved.\\nDo not get too attached. Getting too attached to a girl often ends with feelings being hurt, especially if you don’t know her that well. She may decide not to date you, and if you’re too attached, you may end up with a broken heart.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It happens all of the time: you meet a girl who is perfect for you, only to find out that she already has a partner. The situation may seem hopeless, but there are ways to approach the situation tactfully. Assess the situation, talk to her, and be respectful to get a date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assessing the Situation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to her about her relationship.\", \"描述\": \"If you are brave, ask her directly. She may suspect your motives if you ask her directly, so don’t choose this option if you want to keep your intentions a secret. Ask her casually: “Hey, I was wondering, do you have a partner? I was just curious.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her how serious the relationship is.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve already felt comfortable enough to ask her if she’s dating, go ahead and ask her how serious the relationship is. If it’s serious, it might be harder to ask her out, but if it’s just a fling, she may still be interested in seeing you. Ask: “Is it a really serious relationship, or more casual?” Once again, she may know immediately where the conversation is going if you ask her specifically, so be careful.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her how happy she is.\", \"描述\": \"Be direct, but careful. Say: “How is your relationship with your partner? Are you happy?” Be very cautious talking to her about this: she may become defensive or be offended that you’re asking about her private life. Her reaction will depend entirely on her personality, so gauge her answers from previous questions to see if she’ll respond well to really personal questions like this. If she seems uncomfortable being questioned, ask her friends or find some other way.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use indirect clues.\", \"描述\": \"Asking directly may be a little dangerous, because she may be offended if you ask her about her relationship. Personal questions may make her uncomfortable, and she may know exactly where you're going with your line of questions.\\nAsk indirect questions. By asking her “What are you up to tonight?” Or “What do you like to do for fun?”, she may mention her partner offhand and save you the trouble of having to ask directly.\\nLook for signs of flirting. While some girls are naturally flirty whether they're single or not, but if she seems into you, chances are higher that she's single. See how much you can flirt back. If she responds positively, she's probably single.\\nSee what she shops for. If you're lucky enough to meet a girl in a store instead of at school or work, you may be able to get some clues from her shopping. Look for family size food items, items obviously for men, or baby products.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask her friends if she’s in a relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Her friends will know a lot about her relationship and be able to help you out. While her friends may tell her that you’ve asked about her relationship, you’re more likely to be able to keep your intentions secret this way.\\nAsk her friends how serious the relationship is. Her friends will be able to give you a more impartial answer than she might. Friends see a relationship from the outside, so they may be able to give more valuable information about where her relationship with her partner is going, and what kind of dating patterns she has.\\nAsk her friends if she’s happy. Asking her friends about her happiness may be better than asking her directly, because they’re likely to be less offended and have more impartial information on her relationship. They may spend a lot of time with her and her significant other, and they might see or hear about small fights or disagreements.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Check her social media profiles.\", \"描述\": \"While this method might make you feel a bit like you’re snooping, it is the easiest way to find out her relationship status without tipping your hand. Facebook profiles have a specific section for relationship status, while Instagram posts and Tweets might give you an idea about whether she’s single or not. Don’t get too discouraged by pictures of her with other people though. They may be old partners or other close friends.\\nSee if she seems happy. Social media probably won’t be able to tell you how serious a relationship is, but it may give you important information about how happy her relationship is. Check her pages to see if she posts about fights or disagreements with her partner. Be very careful to only use these as a gauge, not evidence. Don’t talk to her about specific posts that you saw, because she may think that you are snooping through her posts.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talking to Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Before you get too direct and ask her out, float a conversation about relationships in general. Start the conversation with normal small talk about her day or how she's doing, but then ask how her relationship is going. Relationships are a normal subject of conversation, so she shouldn't be too suspicious if you keep it light and friendly. Use this talk about relationships to bridge towards asking her out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"If you find that she’s in a relationship but it’s either not serious or not very happy, try to be bold and ask her out. This method takes some guts, because you have no idea how she’ll react, or what the outcome will be like, but it’s worth it because she may say yes.\\nSay: “Hey, I know that you’re in a relationship, but I get the feeling that it’s not serious/not going well. Would you want to go on a date with me? I promise not to make any moves or disrespect your relationship. I just want to get to know you better.\\\" This method places emphasis on the quality of her relationship, and hints to her that you may be better for her.\\nFor another angle, try saying: “I know this is really forward, and I know that you’re seeing someone already. But would you like to go on a date with me? I think you’re great.” This choice leaves out everything about the quality or seriousness of her relationship, and simply lets her know that you’re interested in her regardless of her relationship status.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge her relationship.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure not to be too disparaging towards her partner. Not only will this be questioning her taste in people, but if she has feelings for them, you could seriously offend her. Tell her that you know that she has a partner, and that you don't want to get in the way if it's serious, but that you'd like to get to know her better.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try giving her your number.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of asking her out, try writing down your number and giving it to her. This makes your intentions pretty clear, but saves you the trouble of trying to find the perfect way to ask her out. You'll only have to pass her the number and tell her to call you sometime. She may get in touch with you when things get rocky with her other half, or she may start texting or talking to you immediately to get to know you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Let her bring it up.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, you may not have to make the first move. If you start talking to a girl that you know has a significant other, she may still flirt with you or make it clear that she’s interested in you. In this case, let her bring up a date. Ask her: “Are you busy after school?” Or “When do you get off work?” These questions are open ended and allow her to propose a time for you to meet up and get to know each other.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Being Respectful\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be respectful if her partner learns you've asked her out.\", \"描述\": \"It's likely they'll be upset that you're trying to take their girlfriend, so prepare to apologize if necessary. If she decides to go out with you, they'll be even more upset. Try to avoid them, but if they come to talk to you, apologize to them and explain that you have no intention of breaking up with her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide what to do if you’ve been “friend zoned”.\", \"描述\": \"Girls often like having male friends, so you need to make sure that you don’t end up more of a friend in her eyes than a potential lover. If you spend time with her and she doesn’t break up with her partner, chances are, she sees you as a friend and doesn’t want to date you. She may enjoy spending time with you, but that doesn’t mean that she is attracted to you.\\nOne signal of the friendzone is a lot of talk about feelings. If she starts contacting you frequently to talk about her feelings, or if she uses you as a sounding board to complain about her significant other, she most likely sees you as a friend.\\nListen to how she talks about you. If she talks to her friends about you, but consistently mentions that you’re “just a friend,” or “just a good guy”, chances are, she is not interested in dating you.\\nSee if she still flirts with you. If she flirts with you and seems genuinely interested, you may have a chance. But as time goes on and she flirts with you less and less without breaking it off with her boyfriend, you are most likely in the “friend zone”.\\nBreak things off with her. If you are still interested in dating her but she sees you as a friend, break off the friendship. You will only get hurt if you end up as a third wheel. She can’t help who she is attracted to, and if only sees you as a friend, she’s unlikely to change her mind.\\nStay friends with her. If you decide that you value her friendship more than a potential romantic relationship, it is okay to stay friends with her. It’s completely possible to have strong, healthy relationships with people of the opposite gender, but you’ll have to get comfortable with the fact that things will be just platonic.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t enable her to cheat on her partner.\", \"描述\": \"If the girl really likes you, but is in a serious relationship, she may be tempted to cheat on her partner with you. Be clear with her that you won’t do anything with her unless she breaks it off with her current partner.\\nIf she cheats on her partner with you, this is a red flag that she could cheat on you if you ever end up together. Many people who cheat on their partners do so compulsively, and it may be impossible to trust them.\\nDon’t become a “side guy”. If her current relationship isn’t serious, but she still doesn’t want to break it off, you face the danger of being strung along. She may call you often or spend romantic time with you, but this will only lead to you getting hurt. She will most likely never commit to you or leave her relationship: she’ll just use you instead.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let her go if it's not working.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re really attracted to a girl, you may be tempted to ask her out a few times even if she’s got someone else. However, you need to be realistic about your chances of success. If she continually reminds you that she has a partner, or says no to offers for dates, you’ll only make her frustrated as time goes on. Remember that there are “more fish in the sea” and move on to other girls if things don’t develop.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to be confident in yourself. Girls love confidence, and respond well to direct, assertive questions.\\n\", \"Always respect her decision. If she decides not to go out with you, she may have a number of reasons for doing so. Don’t get angry with her or be frustrated. It’s not about you, it’s about her decision.\\n\", \"Make yourself attractive to her. You’ll have a better chance of succeeding getting a date if you dress well, take care of your personal hygiene and exercise.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t be too hard on yourself. If she says no, you may feel depressed or inadequate. Work on the areas where you feel you are lacking, but don’t beat yourself up.\\n\", \"Do not confront her partner. Starting fights or causing issues with her current partner may seem like an “alpha male” way to impress the girl, but it can end up poorly. Physical fights and aggression can get you hurt or even arrested and can make the girl dislike you.\\n\", \"Never get involved with a married woman. A dating relationship can easily be ended, but a marriage cannot. You can do serious damage to people’s lives when cheating with a married person, especially if there are children involved.\\n\", \"Do not get too attached. Getting too attached to a girl often ends with feelings being hurt, especially if you don’t know her that well. She may decide not to date you, and if you’re too attached, you may end up with a broken heart.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,544 | How to Ask a Girl Out in Middle School | 1. Getting Ready to Ask
1-1. Be friends first.
If you want to ask out a girl in middle school, then you have to get to know each other a bit first. If they don't know you very well and you ask them out, they're probably more likely to say no. You don’t have to be best friends – and it’s probably better if you’re not, because you want to steer clear of The Friend Zone – but it does help if you know each other a bit, so that you’re on her radar and so that she thinks you’re a nice guy. If she has no idea who you are or if all she has to go by is gossip or guesses, then she’ll have a less likely chance of saying yes when you ask her out.
Be friendly. Say hi to her and use her name to show that you’re thinking about her.
Make an effort in a group setting. Ask how her day is going or give her a light compliment.
Pay just a little bit of attention to her. Wave to her if she walks past you in the halls or sits behind you in class.
Remember that you don’t have to come on too strong to get her attention. In fact, playing hard to get a little bit will catch her eye even more.
1-2. Flirt with her a little bit.
If you want her to go out with you, then you have to build up a bit of chemistry first. You have to be a little bit flirtatious to see if you two can manage to have some light banter, laugh together, and to have a real connection. You can compliment a new outfit she’s wearing, tease her a bit (if she’s not too sensitive) or just joke around in a way that makes her see that you like her.
If you’re in a group setting, pay attention to her, but don’t monopolize her time. Make her want to flirt with you, too, instead of just having her wait for you to come her way.
1-3. See if she likes you.
Though there’s no way to know if she really likes you until you ask her out, you can look out for some signs that you've caught her eye. Knowing that she may have a thing for you can up your confidence when it’s time to pop the question. Here are some signs that she may like you:
She may completely ignore you or pay a lot of attention to you in a group setting
She may smile or blush when you catch her eye
Her friends may whisper or giggle as they walk by you
You just get a good, flirtatious feeling whenever the two of you talk
Other people have teased you two about liking each other
She always seems to be looking for excuses to talk to you
Check how often she touches you and see if she makes a stupid excuse for it. This doesn't mean that if she touches you once or twice that she likes you.
1-4. Pick the right place and time to ask.
If you want to ask her out, then you don’t have to pick the perfect place and time, but it does help if you pick a good opportunity to improve on your chances. If she wants to go out with you, then she’ll probably say yes under most circumstances, but you can improve your chances of getting the answer you want by picking a place that is pretty private without making the girl uncomfortable, and by picking a time when she’s in a good mood and not likely to be distracted or stressed out.
You don’t have to wait around too long for the perfect opportunity to present itself. Girls in middle school can be pretty fickle, so if you feel like you have a pretty good opportunity to ask her out, go for it instead of waiting for the perfect one.
1-5. Think of something you can do together.
When you ask her out, you will probably have to think of something to do together! This may seem fairly obvious to you, but you may be so concerned about whether or not she’ll say yes or how you’ll ask her that you haven’t really thought about what will happen after you ask the big question. Though, in middle school, some guys just mean that they want to be girlfriend/boyfriend when they ask girls out, it’s nice to actually think of something to do together, so when she says yes, you can say, “Awesome! How about we…” Instead of just saying, “Awesome! Um…uh…I guess I’ll see you around then.” Here are some things you can ask her to do:
Go to a school dance that’s coming up
Go to see a movie that’s coming out
Go to a concert
Go to the mall together
Let you walk her home after school
Go to a birthday party together
2. Asking Her Out
2-1. Get a bit of privacy.
Make sure you get her alone enough that her friends aren't around giggling and teasing you guys, but that she’s not so isolated that she feels scared or unsafe. Pick a time and place like after school, by your lockers, during a small party, or even after a school dance. Try not to ask her before school because she’ll probably be thinking about what she has to get done that day and may be distracted. Also, don’t ask her before a big test or anything.
Pick a time when she’s not likely to be stressed out or sad and check that she seems like she’s in a good mood when you approach her.
2-2. Exude confidence.
Confidence is half the battle in any game, but also act a little nervous, show her that you like her. Though being Mr. Confident won’t help you much if she’s just not interested, it will help you ask your question as well as you can if she is interested. You just have to keep your head high, put a smile on your face, and remember to breathe and to let your body relax. Even if you’re sweating bullets or feel your stomach clenching, you have to act like you’re totally cool with talking to her – and pretty soon, you’ll see that you’ve tricked yourself into feeling confident!
You don’t have to act arrogant. Just act like you know you’re a cool guy and that any girl would have a great time dating you. Make sure that you don’t end up acting a little bit too different from your everyday self.
2-3. Make a bit of small talk.
You probably don’t want to say, “Hey! Do you want to go out with me?” That will be just a bit too abrupt, even for the most direct girls out there. While you don’t want to dilly dally too long, give it a minute or two so both of you are feeling comfortable so that you feel ready to ask her out and that she feels ready to answer your questions. Just say hi, ask her how she is, and maybe think of one or two things to mention before you go in for the kill.
If it’s really obvious that you’re going to ask her out and you’re just kind of looking at the floor and kicking imaginary dust balls, then it’s time to spit it out.
2-4. Ask her out.
You don’t have to be elaborate about it. Just say, “I really like hanging out with you. Will you go out with me?” Or, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” Keep it short and sweet and watch her face to see how she feels about it. You don’t need to list the twenty reasons why you love her or to convince her that you’d be Boyfriend of the Year. Just come up with a one or two sentence phrase that will let you easily ask her out. After that, all you can do is sit back and wait for an answer.
Make eye contact when you ask her instead of looking away or at the floor. She’ll be impressed with your confidence.
2-5. React correctly.
After you ask her out, she’ll have few options other than saying yes or no. So, if she says yes, give her a hug, smile big, and let her know that you’re excited to be going out with her without doing a happy dance. Make her see that you’re pumped to be going out with her and that you think she’s a cool girl. Now go ahead and suggest whatever plan you had up your sleeve – and the rest is history!
If she doesn't want to go out with you, don’t despair. Thank her for talking to you and make a graceful exit. Don’t be mean to her, kick your locker, or come off looking like a wimp. Remember that you want her to think highly of you even if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. And don’t ever forget that there are plenty of fish in the sea – especially in middle school!
3. Other Ways to Ask Her Out
3-1. Ask her out at the dance.
The school dance is a great place to ask the girl out. Just wait for a slow song, ask her to dance, and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend at the end of the song. You’ll know from looking into her eyes while you’re dancing whether or not you have a chance. You can also use the dance as an excuse to ask her out, beforehand. Though this is more bold and puts the pressure on a bit, it gives you a great excuse to ask the girl out!
The vibe at the dance is guaranteed to be a bit more romantic, say, than the vibe in your school cafeteria during lunch, so if you ask her out at the dance, there’s a better chance she’ll have romance on her mind. The downside: it may be next to impossible to get her away from her friends.
3-2. Write her a note.
If you think you’re a Casanova when it comes to the written word, then write her a cute, short note that tells her that you like her and that you want her to be your girlfriend. This is a pleasant way to surprise her and to take off some of the pressure of having a real conversation; just make sure you know that she’ll get the note, whether you’re giving it to her during class or sticking it in her textbook or locker.
Tell her to get back to you via note. Whatever happens, there’s nothing to be nervous about because she won’t have to be there to see your reaction!
3-3. Have your friends talk to her.
This should be more of a last resort. If you really feel shy but want to ask the girl out and have a brave friend or two who have enough charisma to talk to the girl (without charming her too much, of course), then you can have one of your buddies go up to the girl and ask her if she wants to go out with you. Just make sure they know exactly what to say and that they don’t end up making you look like a wimp or misrepresent your intentions.
If you really want a trusted friend to ask her out for you, then you may want to rehearse what he’s going to say. Yeah, this will feel ridiculous, but you’ll be grateful that you’ve prepped your friend for the big move!
3-4. Call her up.
You can also ask the girl over the phone if you’re more of a phone guy. Call her up (hopefully you have her number already) and ask her if she wants to go out with you. For this move, it’s especially important to think of something that you can do together so you don’t just ask her out and then struggle to awkwardly get off the phone. You can also get her number from a friend of hers if she’s willing to give it out – after that, she’ll probably know what to expect when you call.
3-5. Give her a small thoughtful gift.
If you’re already friends or know each other fairly well and you have an idea of what she might like, you can give her a nice but inexpensive piece of jewelry, a CD, a book, a nice notebook, or something that you think she’ll like without overwhelming her or making her uncomfortable by how nice it is. You can ask her out while giving her the gift, or even prepare a note asking her out within the gift so you can take some of the pressure off.
3-6. Write it in chalk.
This maneuver is not for the faint of heart. If you really like her, write, “Will you go out with me, (her name here)?” outside in chalk and take her for a walk to show it to her. Yeah, it’ll be a little embarrassing if she says no, but imagine how cute it would be if she said yes to your chalk message!
3-7. Ask her out in food.
Get her her favorite type of cookie or dessert and have someone write, “Will you go out with me?” on it in icing. This may sound cheesy, but if you’re able to pull it off, she’ll be impressed by your thoughtfulness and your creativity and won’t be able to resist you. Make sure you have a steady hand when you write your message and the rest will follow!
Tips
Do not be clingy! It's very annoying to girls and can creep them out![7]
X
Research source
As hard as it may seem, do not stare at her body! it makes them think that you are perverted and she will think you're creepy.
Do not act like a jerk if she says no.
Warnings
Do not talk down about yourself; otherwise she may feel awkward, and likely say no. Be confident when you interact with her.
If she says yes, don't kiss her or make too much contact immediately. This will creep her out.
Whatever you do, don't ask her out over text. That looks bad and could really ruin her chances of saying yes. Talking to her face to face shows you really care and aren't just joking.
If she says no, remember that there are a lot more girls that you will run into during your high school years.
Try to avoid crying if she says no, say something like, "Oh well, I guess that was worth a shot. If you change your mind, tell me."
If you spend too much time around her she may find you creepy and give you a worse chance of her saying yes. Spend time with friends, too.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Ready to Ask\\n1-1. Be friends first.\\nIf you want to ask out a girl in middle school, then you have to get to know each other a bit first. If they don't know you very well and you ask them out, they're probably more likely to say no. You don’t have to be best friends – and it’s probably better if you’re not, because you want to steer clear of The Friend Zone – but it does help if you know each other a bit, so that you’re on her radar and so that she thinks you’re a nice guy. If she has no idea who you are or if all she has to go by is gossip or guesses, then she’ll have a less likely chance of saying yes when you ask her out.\\nBe friendly. Say hi to her and use her name to show that you’re thinking about her.\\nMake an effort in a group setting. Ask how her day is going or give her a light compliment.\\nPay just a little bit of attention to her. Wave to her if she walks past you in the halls or sits behind you in class.\\nRemember that you don’t have to come on too strong to get her attention. In fact, playing hard to get a little bit will catch her eye even more.\\n1-2. Flirt with her a little bit.\\nIf you want her to go out with you, then you have to build up a bit of chemistry first. You have to be a little bit flirtatious to see if you two can manage to have some light banter, laugh together, and to have a real connection. You can compliment a new outfit she’s wearing, tease her a bit (if she’s not too sensitive) or just joke around in a way that makes her see that you like her.\\nIf you’re in a group setting, pay attention to her, but don’t monopolize her time. Make her want to flirt with you, too, instead of just having her wait for you to come her way.\\n1-3. See if she likes you.\\nThough there’s no way to know if she really likes you until you ask her out, you can look out for some signs that you've caught her eye. Knowing that she may have a thing for you can up your confidence when it’s time to pop the question. Here are some signs that she may like you:\\nShe may completely ignore you or pay a lot of attention to you in a group setting\\nShe may smile or blush when you catch her eye\\nHer friends may whisper or giggle as they walk by you\\nYou just get a good, flirtatious feeling whenever the two of you talk\\nOther people have teased you two about liking each other\\nShe always seems to be looking for excuses to talk to you\\nCheck how often she touches you and see if she makes a stupid excuse for it. This doesn't mean that if she touches you once or twice that she likes you.\\n1-4. Pick the right place and time to ask.\\nIf you want to ask her out, then you don’t have to pick the perfect place and time, but it does help if you pick a good opportunity to improve on your chances. If she wants to go out with you, then she’ll probably say yes under most circumstances, but you can improve your chances of getting the answer you want by picking a place that is pretty private without making the girl uncomfortable, and by picking a time when she’s in a good mood and not likely to be distracted or stressed out.\\nYou don’t have to wait around too long for the perfect opportunity to present itself. Girls in middle school can be pretty fickle, so if you feel like you have a pretty good opportunity to ask her out, go for it instead of waiting for the perfect one.\\n1-5. Think of something you can do together.\\nWhen you ask her out, you will probably have to think of something to do together! This may seem fairly obvious to you, but you may be so concerned about whether or not she’ll say yes or how you’ll ask her that you haven’t really thought about what will happen after you ask the big question. Though, in middle school, some guys just mean that they want to be girlfriend/boyfriend when they ask girls out, it’s nice to actually think of something to do together, so when she says yes, you can say, “Awesome! How about we…” Instead of just saying, “Awesome! Um…uh…I guess I’ll see you around then.” Here are some things you can ask her to do:\\nGo to a school dance that’s coming up\\nGo to see a movie that’s coming out\\nGo to a concert\\nGo to the mall together\\nLet you walk her home after school\\nGo to a birthday party together\\n2. Asking Her Out\\n2-1. Get a bit of privacy.\\nMake sure you get her alone enough that her friends aren't around giggling and teasing you guys, but that she’s not so isolated that she feels scared or unsafe. Pick a time and place like after school, by your lockers, during a small party, or even after a school dance. Try not to ask her before school because she’ll probably be thinking about what she has to get done that day and may be distracted. Also, don’t ask her before a big test or anything.\\nPick a time when she’s not likely to be stressed out or sad and check that she seems like she’s in a good mood when you approach her.\\n2-2. Exude confidence.\\nConfidence is half the battle in any game, but also act a little nervous, show her that you like her. Though being Mr. Confident won’t help you much if she’s just not interested, it will help you ask your question as well as you can if she is interested. You just have to keep your head high, put a smile on your face, and remember to breathe and to let your body relax. Even if you’re sweating bullets or feel your stomach clenching, you have to act like you’re totally cool with talking to her – and pretty soon, you’ll see that you’ve tricked yourself into feeling confident!\\nYou don’t have to act arrogant. Just act like you know you’re a cool guy and that any girl would have a great time dating you. Make sure that you don’t end up acting a little bit too different from your everyday self.\\n2-3. Make a bit of small talk.\\nYou probably don’t want to say, “Hey! Do you want to go out with me?” That will be just a bit too abrupt, even for the most direct girls out there. While you don’t want to dilly dally too long, give it a minute or two so both of you are feeling comfortable so that you feel ready to ask her out and that she feels ready to answer your questions. Just say hi, ask her how she is, and maybe think of one or two things to mention before you go in for the kill.\\nIf it’s really obvious that you’re going to ask her out and you’re just kind of looking at the floor and kicking imaginary dust balls, then it’s time to spit it out.\\n2-4. Ask her out.\\nYou don’t have to be elaborate about it. Just say, “I really like hanging out with you. Will you go out with me?” Or, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” Keep it short and sweet and watch her face to see how she feels about it. You don’t need to list the twenty reasons why you love her or to convince her that you’d be Boyfriend of the Year. Just come up with a one or two sentence phrase that will let you easily ask her out. After that, all you can do is sit back and wait for an answer.\\nMake eye contact when you ask her instead of looking away or at the floor. She’ll be impressed with your confidence.\\n2-5. React correctly.\\nAfter you ask her out, she’ll have few options other than saying yes or no. So, if she says yes, give her a hug, smile big, and let her know that you’re excited to be going out with her without doing a happy dance. Make her see that you’re pumped to be going out with her and that you think she’s a cool girl. Now go ahead and suggest whatever plan you had up your sleeve – and the rest is history!\\nIf she doesn't want to go out with you, don’t despair. Thank her for talking to you and make a graceful exit. Don’t be mean to her, kick your locker, or come off looking like a wimp. Remember that you want her to think highly of you even if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. And don’t ever forget that there are plenty of fish in the sea – especially in middle school!\\n3. Other Ways to Ask Her Out\\n3-1. Ask her out at the dance.\\nThe school dance is a great place to ask the girl out. Just wait for a slow song, ask her to dance, and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend at the end of the song. You’ll know from looking into her eyes while you’re dancing whether or not you have a chance. You can also use the dance as an excuse to ask her out, beforehand. Though this is more bold and puts the pressure on a bit, it gives you a great excuse to ask the girl out!\\nThe vibe at the dance is guaranteed to be a bit more romantic, say, than the vibe in your school cafeteria during lunch, so if you ask her out at the dance, there’s a better chance she’ll have romance on her mind. The downside: it may be next to impossible to get her away from her friends.\\n3-2. Write her a note.\\nIf you think you’re a Casanova when it comes to the written word, then write her a cute, short note that tells her that you like her and that you want her to be your girlfriend. This is a pleasant way to surprise her and to take off some of the pressure of having a real conversation; just make sure you know that she’ll get the note, whether you’re giving it to her during class or sticking it in her textbook or locker.\\nTell her to get back to you via note. Whatever happens, there’s nothing to be nervous about because she won’t have to be there to see your reaction!\\n3-3. Have your friends talk to her.\\nThis should be more of a last resort. If you really feel shy but want to ask the girl out and have a brave friend or two who have enough charisma to talk to the girl (without charming her too much, of course), then you can have one of your buddies go up to the girl and ask her if she wants to go out with you. Just make sure they know exactly what to say and that they don’t end up making you look like a wimp or misrepresent your intentions.\\nIf you really want a trusted friend to ask her out for you, then you may want to rehearse what he’s going to say. Yeah, this will feel ridiculous, but you’ll be grateful that you’ve prepped your friend for the big move!\\n3-4. Call her up.\\nYou can also ask the girl over the phone if you’re more of a phone guy. Call her up (hopefully you have her number already) and ask her if she wants to go out with you. For this move, it’s especially important to think of something that you can do together so you don’t just ask her out and then struggle to awkwardly get off the phone. You can also get her number from a friend of hers if she’s willing to give it out – after that, she’ll probably know what to expect when you call.\\n3-5. Give her a small thoughtful gift.\\nIf you’re already friends or know each other fairly well and you have an idea of what she might like, you can give her a nice but inexpensive piece of jewelry, a CD, a book, a nice notebook, or something that you think she’ll like without overwhelming her or making her uncomfortable by how nice it is. You can ask her out while giving her the gift, or even prepare a note asking her out within the gift so you can take some of the pressure off.\\n3-6. Write it in chalk.\\nThis maneuver is not for the faint of heart. If you really like her, write, “Will you go out with me, (her name here)?” outside in chalk and take her for a walk to show it to her. Yeah, it’ll be a little embarrassing if she says no, but imagine how cute it would be if she said yes to your chalk message!\\n3-7. Ask her out in food.\\nGet her her favorite type of cookie or dessert and have someone write, “Will you go out with me?” on it in icing. This may sound cheesy, but if you’re able to pull it off, she’ll be impressed by your thoughtfulness and your creativity and won’t be able to resist you. Make sure you have a steady hand when you write your message and the rest will follow!\\nTips\\nDo not be clingy! It's very annoying to girls and can creep them out![7]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nAs hard as it may seem, do not stare at her body! it makes them think that you are perverted and she will think you're creepy.\\nDo not act like a jerk if she says no.\\nWarnings\\nDo not talk down about yourself; otherwise she may feel awkward, and likely say no. Be confident when you interact with her.\\nIf she says yes, don't kiss her or make too much contact immediately. This will creep her out.\\nWhatever you do, don't ask her out over text. That looks bad and could really ruin her chances of saying yes. Talking to her face to face shows you really care and aren't just joking.\\nIf she says no, remember that there are a lot more girls that you will run into during your high school years.\\nTry to avoid crying if she says no, say something like, \\\"Oh well, I guess that was worth a shot. If you change your mind, tell me.\\\"\\nIf you spend too much time around her she may find you creepy and give you a worse chance of her saying yes. Spend time with friends, too.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Nobody said asking a girl out was easy -- especially not in middle school, when girls can be notoriously fickle and hard to read. But that doesn't mean it's impossible! If you make a game plan, keep your cool, and know how to win the girl over, then she'll be your girlfriend in no time. If you want to know how to ask a girl out in middle school, see Step 1 to get started.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Ready to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be friends first.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to ask out a girl in middle school, then you have to get to know each other a bit first. If they don't know you very well and you ask them out, they're probably more likely to say no. You don’t have to be best friends – and it’s probably better if you’re not, because you want to steer clear of The Friend Zone – but it does help if you know each other a bit, so that you’re on her radar and so that she thinks you’re a nice guy. If she has no idea who you are or if all she has to go by is gossip or guesses, then she’ll have a less likely chance of saying yes when you ask her out.\\nBe friendly. Say hi to her and use her name to show that you’re thinking about her.\\nMake an effort in a group setting. Ask how her day is going or give her a light compliment.\\nPay just a little bit of attention to her. Wave to her if she walks past you in the halls or sits behind you in class.\\nRemember that you don’t have to come on too strong to get her attention. In fact, playing hard to get a little bit will catch her eye even more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirt with her a little bit.\", \"描述\": \"If you want her to go out with you, then you have to build up a bit of chemistry first. You have to be a little bit flirtatious to see if you two can manage to have some light banter, laugh together, and to have a real connection. You can compliment a new outfit she’s wearing, tease her a bit (if she’s not too sensitive) or just joke around in a way that makes her see that you like her.\\nIf you’re in a group setting, pay attention to her, but don’t monopolize her time. Make her want to flirt with you, too, instead of just having her wait for you to come her way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See if she likes you.\", \"描述\": \"Though there’s no way to know if she really likes you until you ask her out, you can look out for some signs that you've caught her eye. Knowing that she may have a thing for you can up your confidence when it’s time to pop the question. Here are some signs that she may like you:\\nShe may completely ignore you or pay a lot of attention to you in a group setting\\nShe may smile or blush when you catch her eye\\nHer friends may whisper or giggle as they walk by you\\nYou just get a good, flirtatious feeling whenever the two of you talk\\nOther people have teased you two about liking each other\\nShe always seems to be looking for excuses to talk to you\\nCheck how often she touches you and see if she makes a stupid excuse for it. This doesn't mean that if she touches you once or twice that she likes you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick the right place and time to ask.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to ask her out, then you don’t have to pick the perfect place and time, but it does help if you pick a good opportunity to improve on your chances. If she wants to go out with you, then she’ll probably say yes under most circumstances, but you can improve your chances of getting the answer you want by picking a place that is pretty private without making the girl uncomfortable, and by picking a time when she’s in a good mood and not likely to be distracted or stressed out.\\nYou don’t have to wait around too long for the perfect opportunity to present itself. Girls in middle school can be pretty fickle, so if you feel like you have a pretty good opportunity to ask her out, go for it instead of waiting for the perfect one.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Think of something you can do together.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask her out, you will probably have to think of something to do together! This may seem fairly obvious to you, but you may be so concerned about whether or not she’ll say yes or how you’ll ask her that you haven’t really thought about what will happen after you ask the big question. Though, in middle school, some guys just mean that they want to be girlfriend/boyfriend when they ask girls out, it’s nice to actually think of something to do together, so when she says yes, you can say, “Awesome! How about we…” Instead of just saying, “Awesome! Um…uh…I guess I’ll see you around then.” Here are some things you can ask her to do:\\nGo to a school dance that’s coming up\\nGo to see a movie that’s coming out\\nGo to a concert\\nGo to the mall together\\nLet you walk her home after school\\nGo to a birthday party together\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a bit of privacy.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you get her alone enough that her friends aren't around giggling and teasing you guys, but that she’s not so isolated that she feels scared or unsafe. Pick a time and place like after school, by your lockers, during a small party, or even after a school dance. Try not to ask her before school because she’ll probably be thinking about what she has to get done that day and may be distracted. Also, don’t ask her before a big test or anything.\\nPick a time when she’s not likely to be stressed out or sad and check that she seems like she’s in a good mood when you approach her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Exude confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Confidence is half the battle in any game, but also act a little nervous, show her that you like her. Though being Mr. Confident won’t help you much if she’s just not interested, it will help you ask your question as well as you can if she is interested. You just have to keep your head high, put a smile on your face, and remember to breathe and to let your body relax. Even if you’re sweating bullets or feel your stomach clenching, you have to act like you’re totally cool with talking to her – and pretty soon, you’ll see that you’ve tricked yourself into feeling confident!\\nYou don’t have to act arrogant. Just act like you know you’re a cool guy and that any girl would have a great time dating you. Make sure that you don’t end up acting a little bit too different from your everyday self.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make a bit of small talk.\", \"描述\": \"You probably don’t want to say, “Hey! Do you want to go out with me?” That will be just a bit too abrupt, even for the most direct girls out there. While you don’t want to dilly dally too long, give it a minute or two so both of you are feeling comfortable so that you feel ready to ask her out and that she feels ready to answer your questions. Just say hi, ask her how she is, and maybe think of one or two things to mention before you go in for the kill.\\nIf it’s really obvious that you’re going to ask her out and you’re just kind of looking at the floor and kicking imaginary dust balls, then it’s time to spit it out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to be elaborate about it. Just say, “I really like hanging out with you. Will you go out with me?” Or, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” Keep it short and sweet and watch her face to see how she feels about it. You don’t need to list the twenty reasons why you love her or to convince her that you’d be Boyfriend of the Year. Just come up with a one or two sentence phrase that will let you easily ask her out. After that, all you can do is sit back and wait for an answer.\\nMake eye contact when you ask her instead of looking away or at the floor. She’ll be impressed with your confidence.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"React correctly.\", \"描述\": \"After you ask her out, she’ll have few options other than saying yes or no. So, if she says yes, give her a hug, smile big, and let her know that you’re excited to be going out with her without doing a happy dance. Make her see that you’re pumped to be going out with her and that you think she’s a cool girl. Now go ahead and suggest whatever plan you had up your sleeve – and the rest is history!\\nIf she doesn't want to go out with you, don’t despair. Thank her for talking to you and make a graceful exit. Don’t be mean to her, kick your locker, or come off looking like a wimp. Remember that you want her to think highly of you even if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. And don’t ever forget that there are plenty of fish in the sea – especially in middle school!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Other Ways to Ask Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her out at the dance.\", \"描述\": \"The school dance is a great place to ask the girl out. Just wait for a slow song, ask her to dance, and ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend at the end of the song. You’ll know from looking into her eyes while you’re dancing whether or not you have a chance. You can also use the dance as an excuse to ask her out, beforehand. Though this is more bold and puts the pressure on a bit, it gives you a great excuse to ask the girl out!\\nThe vibe at the dance is guaranteed to be a bit more romantic, say, than the vibe in your school cafeteria during lunch, so if you ask her out at the dance, there’s a better chance she’ll have romance on her mind. The downside: it may be next to impossible to get her away from her friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write her a note.\", \"描述\": \"If you think you’re a Casanova when it comes to the written word, then write her a cute, short note that tells her that you like her and that you want her to be your girlfriend. This is a pleasant way to surprise her and to take off some of the pressure of having a real conversation; just make sure you know that she’ll get the note, whether you’re giving it to her during class or sticking it in her textbook or locker.\\nTell her to get back to you via note. Whatever happens, there’s nothing to be nervous about because she won’t have to be there to see your reaction!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have your friends talk to her.\", \"描述\": \"This should be more of a last resort. If you really feel shy but want to ask the girl out and have a brave friend or two who have enough charisma to talk to the girl (without charming her too much, of course), then you can have one of your buddies go up to the girl and ask her if she wants to go out with you. Just make sure they know exactly what to say and that they don’t end up making you look like a wimp or misrepresent your intentions.\\nIf you really want a trusted friend to ask her out for you, then you may want to rehearse what he’s going to say. Yeah, this will feel ridiculous, but you’ll be grateful that you’ve prepped your friend for the big move!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call her up.\", \"描述\": \"You can also ask the girl over the phone if you’re more of a phone guy. Call her up (hopefully you have her number already) and ask her if she wants to go out with you. For this move, it’s especially important to think of something that you can do together so you don’t just ask her out and then struggle to awkwardly get off the phone. You can also get her number from a friend of hers if she’s willing to give it out – after that, she’ll probably know what to expect when you call.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give her a small thoughtful gift.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re already friends or know each other fairly well and you have an idea of what she might like, you can give her a nice but inexpensive piece of jewelry, a CD, a book, a nice notebook, or something that you think she’ll like without overwhelming her or making her uncomfortable by how nice it is. You can ask her out while giving her the gift, or even prepare a note asking her out within the gift so you can take some of the pressure off.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write it in chalk.\", \"描述\": \"This maneuver is not for the faint of heart. If you really like her, write, “Will you go out with me, (her name here)?” outside in chalk and take her for a walk to show it to her. Yeah, it’ll be a little embarrassing if she says no, but imagine how cute it would be if she said yes to your chalk message!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask her out in food.\", \"描述\": \"Get her her favorite type of cookie or dessert and have someone write, “Will you go out with me?” on it in icing. This may sound cheesy, but if you’re able to pull it off, she’ll be impressed by your thoughtfulness and your creativity and won’t be able to resist you. Make sure you have a steady hand when you write your message and the rest will follow!\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not be clingy! It's very annoying to girls and can creep them out![7]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"As hard as it may seem, do not stare at her body! it makes them think that you are perverted and she will think you're creepy.\\n\", \"Do not act like a jerk if she says no.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not talk down about yourself; otherwise she may feel awkward, and likely say no. Be confident when you interact with her.\\n\", \"If she says yes, don't kiss her or make too much contact immediately. This will creep her out.\\n\", \"Whatever you do, don't ask her out over text. That looks bad and could really ruin her chances of saying yes. Talking to her face to face shows you really care and aren't just joking.\\n\", \"If she says no, remember that there are a lot more girls that you will run into during your high school years.\\n\", \"Try to avoid crying if she says no, say something like, \\\"Oh well, I guess that was worth a shot. If you change your mind, tell me.\\\"\\n\", \"If you spend too much time around her she may find you creepy and give you a worse chance of her saying yes. Spend time with friends, too.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,545 | How to Ask a Girl Out in Middle School over Text Message | 1. Wooing Her with Your Text Messages
1-1. Start a back-and-forth texting habit.
Once you’ve gotten to know the girl in person and asked for her phone number, ask her in person if you can text her sometime. This way, she’ll be awaiting your message. Then spend a few days texting back and forth. Try to get to know her a little better, and show that you’re a fun, interesting, and caring person.
Take it slow at first with friendly messages, and don’t start to get too flirty until you sense she’s responsive to your messages.
1-2. Send her a good morning or goodnight text to show you’re thinking about her.
Send a friendly text message first thing in the morning to let her know she’s the first thing on your mind. If you don’t have much time in the morning, text her goodnight before you go to sleep. If you send a sweet message at the beginning or end of the day, she’ll start to recognize your romantic interests.
Send her a morning or evening text on the weekend so you can keep chatting even while you’re away from each other.
If your phone is reaching the end of its battery life, let her know you’re risking it to talk to her. Try a message like, “So my battery is at 3% but I don’t want to stop texting you.”
1-3. Send her an encouraging text before a big event.
Take a moment to send a “good luck” text before an important test, game, or performance she’s told you about. Or say you hope she has fun during an activity or class she’s heading into. Don’t worry if this doesn’t turn into a conversation; just aim to make her smile. Use little messages like these to show that you care about what’s going on in her life and that you support her.
Remember to respect her boundaries. Don’t obsess over her schedule or send multiple insistent texts before getting a reply. This will seem creepy and she might get uncomfortable.
If she shared some details with you, like “I’m practicing for that piano recital Friday night,” a quick “good luck tonight!” text on Friday afternoon will show you’re a good listener.
1-4. Keep the topic of conversation light and upbeat.
Focus on fun topics that you can both enjoy. Chat about music, TV shows, food, funny things that happened throughout the day, and things that you’re excited about. Mention something related to an inside joke you both shared, or give her a genuine compliment.
Don’t get too deep into school stressors or personal problems, as you might overwhelm her and bring down the energy.
Avoid going overboard with cheesy pickup lines. Aim to be a fun friend she can talk easily with rather than someone who is obviously trying to pick her up.
If you happen to disagree about something, use it as a chance to playfully tease each other. Don’t get up-in-arms or make her feel bad about her opinion.
1-5. Stay respectful and appropriate when sending flirty texts.
Even though texting makes it easier to be bold, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to her in person. Consider that she might show a friend your text conversation, or that her parents or guardians might monitor her text messages. Avoid sending any messages you wouldn’t want her family or friends to see.
Don’t say anything creepy, suggestive, or aggressive in your texts.
If you’re really intense and forward over text but super shy in person, you’ll both have a hard time making the transition from texting to an actual date.
1-6. Balance your texting with real life interactions.
Bringing your relationship from the screen to the real world can be awkward at times. To avoid a bumpy transition, use your texts to set the stage for in-person conversations and flirtations. If you text her on a school morning, swing by her locker when you get to school and say hi.
Let her know you want to catch up in person with a text message like, “The craziest thing happened today! I can’t wait to tell you about it tomorrow after class.”
If you balance your texting with in-person connections, she’ll likely feel more comfortable hanging around you. Plus, she’ll know your interest is genuine.
2. Easing into the Big Question
2-1. Observe how she responds to your texts to assess her interest.
See whether she responds right away or waits a little while, then try to match her texting frequency. If she texts you back right away, starts a new conversation, asks you questions about yourself, and sends detailed replies, chances are she likes chatting with you over text.
If she takes forever to reply, never asks you questions, sends 1-word answers, or doesn’t want to interact with you in person, she might not be so interested.
Whether she seems eager to connect with you or not at all interested, you should still try asking her out. There’s no guarantee she’ll say yes either way, so you might as well give her the chance to set the record straight.
2-2. Reference the possibility of going out through your text conversation.
If you’ve got a good conversation going and you sense she might like you, try slipping in a reference to a future date. Reveal your interest in asking her out without directly popping the question. Then follow up with a real invitation, whether it’s during the same conversation or at a later time.
If she tells you she’s heading out of town on Saturday, you could say “That’s too bad! I guess I’ll have to wait until next weekend to take you to that new movie.”
If she responds with “Oh bummer, that would’ve been fun!” you can suggest a real day and make an official invitation: “Agreed! Well, how about the 15th instead?”
2-3. Ask her if she enjoys a certain activity or place.
Pick a topic you know she likes, or one you’ve talked about in the past, to increase your chances of a positive reply. Ask if she likes doing a certain activity, such as dancing or hitting nature trails. Or ask her whether she’s done a certain activity or visited a certain place you see as a potential date spot. If she likes that activity, hasn’t tried that place, or has done that activity before but enjoyed it, invite her out!
If you know she loves ice cream, say something like “Have you tried that new ice cream shop in town?” Whether she says “Yes it was great!” or “No, not yet,” you can turn it into an invitation: “I’d love to try it out with you… How about next Friday?”
Find out what her favorite place or activity is, then offer to join her. Try “What’s your favorite thing to do after school on Fridays?” Whether the answer is “study” or “go to the mall,” ask if you can join her this week.
2-4. Mention an upcoming event and ask if she’d like to be your date.
You can be really direct and say, “Hey, want to go to the next school dance with me?” Or if you’re not ready for that, ease into the topic. Start with something like, “Hey, did you know there’s another school dance next week?” Then once she responds, ask her if she’d like to go with you: “Will you be my date to the dance?”
Try framing a less-exciting situation as if she’ll make the event so much more enjoyable: “So I have to go to my little sister’s dance recital on Sunday. Would you come with me and make it more fun?”
If you want to ask her to be your girlfriend, wait until you’ve spent some time together in person. Texting is a great way to set up a date, but doesn’t work as well for big commitments.
2-5. Be as specific as possible about what you’re asking her.
Since text messages can be a little hard to interpret, try to be as specific as you can when asking her out. Don’t just send a message saying “Will you go out with me?” She might not know what you mean and won’t know how to answer. Instead, explain the exact first-date activity or in-school situation you have in mind. Include a compliment mentioning something you like about her to show that your feelings are genuine.
If you want to spend more time together during school: “Your stories are hilarious! I wish I could hear more of them in person… want to sit with me at lunch tomorrow?”
If you’ve started a competitive banter: “Let’s settle this once and for all! Want to go mini-golfing with me next Sunday? We’ll see who the real MVP is.”
If there’s a holiday break approaching: “I’m gonna miss seeing your smile over break. Can I take you to the movies before New Year’s?”
3. Clarifying the Details
3-1. Talk about what “going out” means to you both.
If you haven’t made specific date plans but she’s agreed to “go out” with you, great! But keep in mind that this is likely a gray area and might lead to some confusion or disappointment if you don’t explore what “going out” really means. Talk to her over text and in person about what you have in mind. Ask for her thoughts as well so you can both know what to expect and can relax around each other.
If you’d like to sit at lunch together, stop by her locker between classes to catch up, and text after school, ask her if that sounds okay.
Let her know if you’d like to update your relationship status on social media, or if you want to start calling her your girlfriend.
Say whether you’d like to attend her volleyball matches. Ask if she’d like to come to your games and wear your jersey.
Wait until she has a chance to weigh in before you make any big changes.
3-2. Confirm the day, time, and place for your date.
If you’re inviting the girl to a specific place or event, be sure to confirm the details so you both get to the right place at the right time. Let her know the specific place, the meeting time, and when you think your date might wrap up.
It can be hard to go out when you’re in middle school, when you can’t drive or earn spending money. If there’s transportation or money involved, make sure it all sounds okay with her.
Discuss the timing and travel arrangements so that she can ask her family for a ride if necessary. Or let her know if your family can take her and get her home. Give her a chance to get the “okay” from her guardians.
3-3. Get permission from both of your families.
If you have grand ideas of a romantic 1-on-1 movie night, but your date’s parents or guardians won’t let her go out without a chaperone, you might be pretty disappointed. Talk to your guardians about what you plan to do, and whether it’s possible. Ask your date to make sure her family is okay with the plans you’ve made together, too. Don’t be afraid to adapt your plan if needed.
Don’t try to sneak around you might get her in trouble!
If you just want to hang out around school and sit at lunch together, you probably don’t need permission from your guardians. But do let them know you’re hanging out with a girl at school. This way, if you do eventually plan a date, they won’t be surprised.
3-4. Be kind to yourself and your crush if she turns down your invitation.
If your text invitation gets turned down, dealing with that rejection can be painful and embarrassing. But don’t take it as a personal attack. Give yourself some time to let out your feelings in private. Talk to a close friend or family member if you can. Respect her decision and be kind when you see her at school.
Respond with a gracious message like, “Okay, no worries. Hope we can still be friends during homeroom.” or “That’s cool, I get it. I hope you have a great weekend anyway.”
Try not to follow up with demanding or rude messages, even if you’re angry.
Think about why she might have turned you down. If her parents won’t let her date, if she already has plans to go to the dance with someone else, or if she’s not interested in going out with anyone, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Wooing Her with Your Text Messages\\n1-1. Start a back-and-forth texting habit.\\nOnce you’ve gotten to know the girl in person and asked for her phone number, ask her in person if you can text her sometime. This way, she’ll be awaiting your message. Then spend a few days texting back and forth. Try to get to know her a little better, and show that you’re a fun, interesting, and caring person.\\nTake it slow at first with friendly messages, and don’t start to get too flirty until you sense she’s responsive to your messages.\\n1-2. Send her a good morning or goodnight text to show you’re thinking about her.\\nSend a friendly text message first thing in the morning to let her know she’s the first thing on your mind. If you don’t have much time in the morning, text her goodnight before you go to sleep. If you send a sweet message at the beginning or end of the day, she’ll start to recognize your romantic interests.\\nSend her a morning or evening text on the weekend so you can keep chatting even while you’re away from each other.\\nIf your phone is reaching the end of its battery life, let her know you’re risking it to talk to her. Try a message like, “So my battery is at 3% but I don’t want to stop texting you.”\\n1-3. Send her an encouraging text before a big event.\\nTake a moment to send a “good luck” text before an important test, game, or performance she’s told you about. Or say you hope she has fun during an activity or class she’s heading into. Don’t worry if this doesn’t turn into a conversation; just aim to make her smile. Use little messages like these to show that you care about what’s going on in her life and that you support her.\\nRemember to respect her boundaries. Don’t obsess over her schedule or send multiple insistent texts before getting a reply. This will seem creepy and she might get uncomfortable.\\nIf she shared some details with you, like “I’m practicing for that piano recital Friday night,” a quick “good luck tonight!” text on Friday afternoon will show you’re a good listener.\\n1-4. Keep the topic of conversation light and upbeat.\\nFocus on fun topics that you can both enjoy. Chat about music, TV shows, food, funny things that happened throughout the day, and things that you’re excited about. Mention something related to an inside joke you both shared, or give her a genuine compliment.\\nDon’t get too deep into school stressors or personal problems, as you might overwhelm her and bring down the energy.\\nAvoid going overboard with cheesy pickup lines. Aim to be a fun friend she can talk easily with rather than someone who is obviously trying to pick her up.\\nIf you happen to disagree about something, use it as a chance to playfully tease each other. Don’t get up-in-arms or make her feel bad about her opinion.\\n1-5. Stay respectful and appropriate when sending flirty texts.\\nEven though texting makes it easier to be bold, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to her in person. Consider that she might show a friend your text conversation, or that her parents or guardians might monitor her text messages. Avoid sending any messages you wouldn’t want her family or friends to see.\\nDon’t say anything creepy, suggestive, or aggressive in your texts.\\nIf you’re really intense and forward over text but super shy in person, you’ll both have a hard time making the transition from texting to an actual date.\\n1-6. Balance your texting with real life interactions.\\nBringing your relationship from the screen to the real world can be awkward at times. To avoid a bumpy transition, use your texts to set the stage for in-person conversations and flirtations. If you text her on a school morning, swing by her locker when you get to school and say hi.\\nLet her know you want to catch up in person with a text message like, “The craziest thing happened today! I can’t wait to tell you about it tomorrow after class.”\\nIf you balance your texting with in-person connections, she’ll likely feel more comfortable hanging around you. Plus, she’ll know your interest is genuine.\\n2. Easing into the Big Question\\n2-1. Observe how she responds to your texts to assess her interest.\\nSee whether she responds right away or waits a little while, then try to match her texting frequency. If she texts you back right away, starts a new conversation, asks you questions about yourself, and sends detailed replies, chances are she likes chatting with you over text.\\nIf she takes forever to reply, never asks you questions, sends 1-word answers, or doesn’t want to interact with you in person, she might not be so interested.\\nWhether she seems eager to connect with you or not at all interested, you should still try asking her out. There’s no guarantee she’ll say yes either way, so you might as well give her the chance to set the record straight.\\n2-2. Reference the possibility of going out through your text conversation.\\nIf you’ve got a good conversation going and you sense she might like you, try slipping in a reference to a future date. Reveal your interest in asking her out without directly popping the question. Then follow up with a real invitation, whether it’s during the same conversation or at a later time.\\nIf she tells you she’s heading out of town on Saturday, you could say “That’s too bad! I guess I’ll have to wait until next weekend to take you to that new movie.”\\nIf she responds with “Oh bummer, that would’ve been fun!” you can suggest a real day and make an official invitation: “Agreed! Well, how about the 15th instead?”\\n2-3. Ask her if she enjoys a certain activity or place.\\nPick a topic you know she likes, or one you’ve talked about in the past, to increase your chances of a positive reply. Ask if she likes doing a certain activity, such as dancing or hitting nature trails. Or ask her whether she’s done a certain activity or visited a certain place you see as a potential date spot. If she likes that activity, hasn’t tried that place, or has done that activity before but enjoyed it, invite her out!\\nIf you know she loves ice cream, say something like “Have you tried that new ice cream shop in town?” Whether she says “Yes it was great!” or “No, not yet,” you can turn it into an invitation: “I’d love to try it out with you… How about next Friday?”\\nFind out what her favorite place or activity is, then offer to join her. Try “What’s your favorite thing to do after school on Fridays?” Whether the answer is “study” or “go to the mall,” ask if you can join her this week.\\n2-4. Mention an upcoming event and ask if she’d like to be your date.\\nYou can be really direct and say, “Hey, want to go to the next school dance with me?” Or if you’re not ready for that, ease into the topic. Start with something like, “Hey, did you know there’s another school dance next week?” Then once she responds, ask her if she’d like to go with you: “Will you be my date to the dance?”\\nTry framing a less-exciting situation as if she’ll make the event so much more enjoyable: “So I have to go to my little sister’s dance recital on Sunday. Would you come with me and make it more fun?”\\nIf you want to ask her to be your girlfriend, wait until you’ve spent some time together in person. Texting is a great way to set up a date, but doesn’t work as well for big commitments.\\n2-5. Be as specific as possible about what you’re asking her.\\nSince text messages can be a little hard to interpret, try to be as specific as you can when asking her out. Don’t just send a message saying “Will you go out with me?” She might not know what you mean and won’t know how to answer. Instead, explain the exact first-date activity or in-school situation you have in mind. Include a compliment mentioning something you like about her to show that your feelings are genuine.\\nIf you want to spend more time together during school: “Your stories are hilarious! I wish I could hear more of them in person… want to sit with me at lunch tomorrow?”\\nIf you’ve started a competitive banter: “Let’s settle this once and for all! Want to go mini-golfing with me next Sunday? We’ll see who the real MVP is.”\\nIf there’s a holiday break approaching: “I’m gonna miss seeing your smile over break. Can I take you to the movies before New Year’s?”\\n3. Clarifying the Details\\n3-1. Talk about what “going out” means to you both.\\nIf you haven’t made specific date plans but she’s agreed to “go out” with you, great! But keep in mind that this is likely a gray area and might lead to some confusion or disappointment if you don’t explore what “going out” really means. Talk to her over text and in person about what you have in mind. Ask for her thoughts as well so you can both know what to expect and can relax around each other.\\nIf you’d like to sit at lunch together, stop by her locker between classes to catch up, and text after school, ask her if that sounds okay.\\nLet her know if you’d like to update your relationship status on social media, or if you want to start calling her your girlfriend.\\nSay whether you’d like to attend her volleyball matches. Ask if she’d like to come to your games and wear your jersey.\\nWait until she has a chance to weigh in before you make any big changes.\\n3-2. Confirm the day, time, and place for your date.\\nIf you’re inviting the girl to a specific place or event, be sure to confirm the details so you both get to the right place at the right time. Let her know the specific place, the meeting time, and when you think your date might wrap up.\\nIt can be hard to go out when you’re in middle school, when you can’t drive or earn spending money. If there’s transportation or money involved, make sure it all sounds okay with her.\\nDiscuss the timing and travel arrangements so that she can ask her family for a ride if necessary. Or let her know if your family can take her and get her home. Give her a chance to get the “okay” from her guardians.\\n3-3. Get permission from both of your families.\\nIf you have grand ideas of a romantic 1-on-1 movie night, but your date’s parents or guardians won’t let her go out without a chaperone, you might be pretty disappointed. Talk to your guardians about what you plan to do, and whether it’s possible. Ask your date to make sure her family is okay with the plans you’ve made together, too. Don’t be afraid to adapt your plan if needed.\\nDon’t try to sneak around you might get her in trouble!\\nIf you just want to hang out around school and sit at lunch together, you probably don’t need permission from your guardians. But do let them know you’re hanging out with a girl at school. This way, if you do eventually plan a date, they won’t be surprised.\\n3-4. Be kind to yourself and your crush if she turns down your invitation.\\nIf your text invitation gets turned down, dealing with that rejection can be painful and embarrassing. But don’t take it as a personal attack. Give yourself some time to let out your feelings in private. Talk to a close friend or family member if you can. Respect her decision and be kind when you see her at school.\\nRespond with a gracious message like, “Okay, no worries. Hope we can still be friends during homeroom.” or “That’s cool, I get it. I hope you have a great weekend anyway.”\\nTry not to follow up with demanding or rude messages, even if you’re angry.\\nThink about why she might have turned you down. If her parents won’t let her date, if she already has plans to go to the dance with someone else, or if she’s not interested in going out with anyone, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"To ask a girl out over text, you’ll want to take it slow and steady. Ask if it’s okay to text her first, then start off a friendly, light conversation. Send her thoughtful messages to show you’re thinking about her as more than a friend. If she seems to be interested too, ease into the topic of going out. Find out her favorite things to do, mention an upcoming event, or hint at the thought of a possible date. Then once you’ve gotten on the topic, build up the courage to officially ask her out. Don’t forget to balance your digital relationship with real-life interactions, and make sure you don’t use texting as a way to say things you wouldn’t say in person.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wooing Her with Your Text Messages\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a back-and-forth texting habit.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve gotten to know the girl in person and asked for her phone number, ask her in person if you can text her sometime. This way, she’ll be awaiting your message. Then spend a few days texting back and forth. Try to get to know her a little better, and show that you’re a fun, interesting, and caring person.\\nTake it slow at first with friendly messages, and don’t start to get too flirty until you sense she’s responsive to your messages.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send her a good morning or goodnight text to show you’re thinking about her.\", \"描述\": \"Send a friendly text message first thing in the morning to let her know she’s the first thing on your mind. If you don’t have much time in the morning, text her goodnight before you go to sleep. If you send a sweet message at the beginning or end of the day, she’ll start to recognize your romantic interests.\\nSend her a morning or evening text on the weekend so you can keep chatting even while you’re away from each other.\\nIf your phone is reaching the end of its battery life, let her know you’re risking it to talk to her. Try a message like, “So my battery is at 3% but I don’t want to stop texting you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send her an encouraging text before a big event.\", \"描述\": \"Take a moment to send a “good luck” text before an important test, game, or performance she’s told you about. Or say you hope she has fun during an activity or class she’s heading into. Don’t worry if this doesn’t turn into a conversation; just aim to make her smile. Use little messages like these to show that you care about what’s going on in her life and that you support her.\\nRemember to respect her boundaries. Don’t obsess over her schedule or send multiple insistent texts before getting a reply. This will seem creepy and she might get uncomfortable.\\nIf she shared some details with you, like “I’m practicing for that piano recital Friday night,” a quick “good luck tonight!” text on Friday afternoon will show you’re a good listener.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the topic of conversation light and upbeat.\", \"描述\": \"Focus on fun topics that you can both enjoy. Chat about music, TV shows, food, funny things that happened throughout the day, and things that you’re excited about. Mention something related to an inside joke you both shared, or give her a genuine compliment.\\nDon’t get too deep into school stressors or personal problems, as you might overwhelm her and bring down the energy.\\nAvoid going overboard with cheesy pickup lines. Aim to be a fun friend she can talk easily with rather than someone who is obviously trying to pick her up.\\nIf you happen to disagree about something, use it as a chance to playfully tease each other. Don’t get up-in-arms or make her feel bad about her opinion.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay respectful and appropriate when sending flirty texts.\", \"描述\": \"Even though texting makes it easier to be bold, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to her in person. Consider that she might show a friend your text conversation, or that her parents or guardians might monitor her text messages. Avoid sending any messages you wouldn’t want her family or friends to see.\\nDon’t say anything creepy, suggestive, or aggressive in your texts.\\nIf you’re really intense and forward over text but super shy in person, you’ll both have a hard time making the transition from texting to an actual date.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Balance your texting with real life interactions.\", \"描述\": \"Bringing your relationship from the screen to the real world can be awkward at times. To avoid a bumpy transition, use your texts to set the stage for in-person conversations and flirtations. If you text her on a school morning, swing by her locker when you get to school and say hi.\\nLet her know you want to catch up in person with a text message like, “The craziest thing happened today! I can’t wait to tell you about it tomorrow after class.”\\nIf you balance your texting with in-person connections, she’ll likely feel more comfortable hanging around you. Plus, she’ll know your interest is genuine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Easing into the Big Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Observe how she responds to your texts to assess her interest.\", \"描述\": \"See whether she responds right away or waits a little while, then try to match her texting frequency. If she texts you back right away, starts a new conversation, asks you questions about yourself, and sends detailed replies, chances are she likes chatting with you over text.\\nIf she takes forever to reply, never asks you questions, sends 1-word answers, or doesn’t want to interact with you in person, she might not be so interested.\\nWhether she seems eager to connect with you or not at all interested, you should still try asking her out. There’s no guarantee she’ll say yes either way, so you might as well give her the chance to set the record straight.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Reference the possibility of going out through your text conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve got a good conversation going and you sense she might like you, try slipping in a reference to a future date. Reveal your interest in asking her out without directly popping the question. Then follow up with a real invitation, whether it’s during the same conversation or at a later time.\\nIf she tells you she’s heading out of town on Saturday, you could say “That’s too bad! I guess I’ll have to wait until next weekend to take you to that new movie.”\\nIf she responds with “Oh bummer, that would’ve been fun!” you can suggest a real day and make an official invitation: “Agreed! Well, how about the 15th instead?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her if she enjoys a certain activity or place.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a topic you know she likes, or one you’ve talked about in the past, to increase your chances of a positive reply. Ask if she likes doing a certain activity, such as dancing or hitting nature trails. Or ask her whether she’s done a certain activity or visited a certain place you see as a potential date spot. If she likes that activity, hasn’t tried that place, or has done that activity before but enjoyed it, invite her out!\\nIf you know she loves ice cream, say something like “Have you tried that new ice cream shop in town?” Whether she says “Yes it was great!” or “No, not yet,” you can turn it into an invitation: “I’d love to try it out with you… How about next Friday?”\\nFind out what her favorite place or activity is, then offer to join her. Try “What’s your favorite thing to do after school on Fridays?” Whether the answer is “study” or “go to the mall,” ask if you can join her this week.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Mention an upcoming event and ask if she’d like to be your date.\", \"描述\": \"You can be really direct and say, “Hey, want to go to the next school dance with me?” Or if you’re not ready for that, ease into the topic. Start with something like, “Hey, did you know there’s another school dance next week?” Then once she responds, ask her if she’d like to go with you: “Will you be my date to the dance?”\\nTry framing a less-exciting situation as if she’ll make the event so much more enjoyable: “So I have to go to my little sister’s dance recital on Sunday. Would you come with me and make it more fun?”\\nIf you want to ask her to be your girlfriend, wait until you’ve spent some time together in person. Texting is a great way to set up a date, but doesn’t work as well for big commitments.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be as specific as possible about what you’re asking her.\", \"描述\": \"Since text messages can be a little hard to interpret, try to be as specific as you can when asking her out. Don’t just send a message saying “Will you go out with me?” She might not know what you mean and won’t know how to answer. Instead, explain the exact first-date activity or in-school situation you have in mind. Include a compliment mentioning something you like about her to show that your feelings are genuine.\\nIf you want to spend more time together during school: “Your stories are hilarious! I wish I could hear more of them in person… want to sit with me at lunch tomorrow?”\\nIf you’ve started a competitive banter: “Let’s settle this once and for all! Want to go mini-golfing with me next Sunday? We’ll see who the real MVP is.”\\nIf there’s a holiday break approaching: “I’m gonna miss seeing your smile over break. Can I take you to the movies before New Year’s?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clarifying the Details\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about what “going out” means to you both.\", \"描述\": \"If you haven’t made specific date plans but she’s agreed to “go out” with you, great! But keep in mind that this is likely a gray area and might lead to some confusion or disappointment if you don’t explore what “going out” really means. Talk to her over text and in person about what you have in mind. Ask for her thoughts as well so you can both know what to expect and can relax around each other.\\nIf you’d like to sit at lunch together, stop by her locker between classes to catch up, and text after school, ask her if that sounds okay.\\nLet her know if you’d like to update your relationship status on social media, or if you want to start calling her your girlfriend.\\nSay whether you’d like to attend her volleyball matches. Ask if she’d like to come to your games and wear your jersey.\\nWait until she has a chance to weigh in before you make any big changes.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Confirm the day, time, and place for your date.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re inviting the girl to a specific place or event, be sure to confirm the details so you both get to the right place at the right time. Let her know the specific place, the meeting time, and when you think your date might wrap up.\\nIt can be hard to go out when you’re in middle school, when you can’t drive or earn spending money. If there’s transportation or money involved, make sure it all sounds okay with her.\\nDiscuss the timing and travel arrangements so that she can ask her family for a ride if necessary. Or let her know if your family can take her and get her home. Give her a chance to get the “okay” from her guardians.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get permission from both of your families.\", \"描述\": \"If you have grand ideas of a romantic 1-on-1 movie night, but your date’s parents or guardians won’t let her go out without a chaperone, you might be pretty disappointed. Talk to your guardians about what you plan to do, and whether it’s possible. Ask your date to make sure her family is okay with the plans you’ve made together, too. Don’t be afraid to adapt your plan if needed.\\nDon’t try to sneak around you might get her in trouble!\\nIf you just want to hang out around school and sit at lunch together, you probably don’t need permission from your guardians. But do let them know you’re hanging out with a girl at school. This way, if you do eventually plan a date, they won’t be surprised.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be kind to yourself and your crush if she turns down your invitation.\", \"描述\": \"If your text invitation gets turned down, dealing with that rejection can be painful and embarrassing. But don’t take it as a personal attack. Give yourself some time to let out your feelings in private. Talk to a close friend or family member if you can. Respect her decision and be kind when you see her at school.\\nRespond with a gracious message like, “Okay, no worries. Hope we can still be friends during homeroom.” or “That’s cool, I get it. I hope you have a great weekend anyway.”\\nTry not to follow up with demanding or rude messages, even if you’re angry.\\nThink about why she might have turned you down. If her parents won’t let her date, if she already has plans to go to the dance with someone else, or if she’s not interested in going out with anyone, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,546 | How to Ask a Girl Out over Text for a Long Distance Relationship (10+ Tips to Shoot Your Shot) | 1. Start with texts that will make her smile.
Be playful and keep it lighthearted.
Send her something funny or sweet to get the conversation started. Start things off on the right foot by putting her in a good mood so she’ll be much more open to the idea of going out with you.
You could try, “Hey there pretty lady. How’s your day been?” or “You’ve been on my mind all day so I figured I’d text you. How are you?”
You could also try sending her a funny meme and say, “I thought you might like this.”
2. Try asking her for advice to get date ideas.
It’s also a great way to set up asking her out.
If you aren’t completely sure what she’s into or if you’re looking for date ideas, try asking her for help. Tell her you’re looking for something you think she might be interested in and if she has any suggestions.
You could try, “I know you love sushi, it’s like all you talk about! Do you have a favorite restaurant in your city?”
Another option is something like, “Do you know any good wing spots around you? I know you like it spicy!”
It doesn’t have to be food-related, though. You could try, “I was thinking about going hiking when I come to town. You’re into the great outdoors, know any good places?”
3. See if she’s down for a virtual dinner date.
Have dinner without leaving your home!
Ask her if she’d like to have dinner with you at the same time and you can pretend like you’re at a restaurant together. Use an app like FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom to do a video call while you eat together.
You could try, “Since we’re so far away, why don’t we do a video call at 7 and we can eat dinner together at the same time!”
You could even exchange recipes so you’re both cooking and eating the same thing.
4. Try watching a movie together virtually.
Netflix and chill, even from a distance.
Offer up the idea of watching a movie together at the same time. If she’s interested, pick out a movie together on a streaming app like Netflix or Hulu. Set a time for you guys to get on a video call together on an app like Facetime or Zoom and start the movie at the same time!
There are even apps like Google Watch Party that allow you to watch the same movie or show together while you’re on a video call.
5. Suggest a coffee date to keep it casual.
It’s a low-pressure way to ask her out.
Who doesn’t like coffee? Plus, if you’ve only been texting her, it could be a great opportunity to meet face to face without the high stakes of a formal date. Try asking her if she can meet you for coffee when you’re in town.
You could try, “Hey! I’ll be visiting my cousin in a few weeks. You wanna grab some coffee?”
If she happens to be visiting your area, you could try, “Awesome! Let’s get together and grab a coffee.”
6. Plan an in-person dinner date if you can.
Pick out a great first-date spot.
If you plan to be in her area, or if she’s visiting near where you live, try asking if she’d like to grab dinner with you. Pick out a fun dinner spot with food that you’ll both enjoy and set a date and time to meet up. If she’s into it, she’ll say yes!
You could try, “So, there are some really great Mexican restaurants around here. Would you want to come check one out with me when you get to town?”
You could also try, “I used to love going to this burger joint when I was a kid. I haven’t been there in ages. Would you want to come with me when I come to visit?”
7. Visit a museum or an art gallery.
Go with a more cultured approach if she’s into it.
If she’s a fan of art, paintings, or history, a museum is a great choice. Look for some in her area if you’re visiting near her, or pick out some cool ones around you if she’s coming to your area. Ask her if she’d like to check it out with you.
Try, “I know you’re into cocktails, and there’s this really cool museum all about their history if you want to come check it out with me.”
You could also try, “There’s a great Alexander McQueen exhibit going on at the museum in town. You wanna go with me?”
8. Ask her if she’d like to join in on your plans.
Try going with the direct approach.
Don’t stress about whether or not she’ll say yes. Just calmly ask her if she’d like to come with you if you already have a planned event or party. Keep it super simple so there’s no confusion.
For instance, you could try, “I’m coming to town for a friend of mine’s wedding. Do you want to come as my date?”
You could also try, “I’m visiting my parents later this year, would you want to come along with me?”
9. Work out the details if she says yes.
Have fun planning out the date with her.
Congratulations! You’ve done it. Talk to her about the logistics of getting together, which may be a little trickier and require more planning since you don’t live near each other. Coordinate travel plans and set a date and time to get together.
For instance, you could try, “Great! I get into town on Sunday the 18th. Wanna get together then?”
10. Be cool and accept it if she says no.
You don’t want to ruin any future chances by getting upset.
Maybe she’s not open to the idea of a long-distance relationship, or maybe she’s just not interested right now. Whatever her reasons, it’s important that you accept her answer. Stay calm and tell her it’s no problem. You can still keep texting her, and who knows, maybe one day she’ll be more open to the idea of going out with you.
Try something short and sweet like, “No worries! Just figured I’d ask.”
11. Verify her info if you’ve never met her before.
Make sure she’s not pretending to be someone else.
“Catfishing” is when someone pretends to be someone they’re not in order to get closer to someone. If she has a social media or dating profile, run her profile picture through a reverse image search on Google to make sure it’s legit. Take a look through their social media to see if it’s real and doesn’t look fishy or like a bot account.
Don’t give someone your bank account or financial information if you don’t really know them.
Tips
If she’s had a bad day or is super distracted, you may want to wait for another time to ask her out. She might be more open to it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Start with texts that will make her smile.\\nBe playful and keep it lighthearted.\\nSend her something funny or sweet to get the conversation started. Start things off on the right foot by putting her in a good mood so she’ll be much more open to the idea of going out with you.\\nYou could try, “Hey there pretty lady. How’s your day been?” or “You’ve been on my mind all day so I figured I’d text you. How are you?”\\nYou could also try sending her a funny meme and say, “I thought you might like this.”\\n2. Try asking her for advice to get date ideas.\\nIt’s also a great way to set up asking her out.\\nIf you aren’t completely sure what she’s into or if you’re looking for date ideas, try asking her for help. Tell her you’re looking for something you think she might be interested in and if she has any suggestions.\\nYou could try, “I know you love sushi, it’s like all you talk about! Do you have a favorite restaurant in your city?”\\nAnother option is something like, “Do you know any good wing spots around you? I know you like it spicy!”\\nIt doesn’t have to be food-related, though. You could try, “I was thinking about going hiking when I come to town. You’re into the great outdoors, know any good places?”\\n3. See if she’s down for a virtual dinner date.\\nHave dinner without leaving your home!\\nAsk her if she’d like to have dinner with you at the same time and you can pretend like you’re at a restaurant together. Use an app like FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom to do a video call while you eat together.\\nYou could try, “Since we’re so far away, why don’t we do a video call at 7 and we can eat dinner together at the same time!”\\nYou could even exchange recipes so you’re both cooking and eating the same thing.\\n4. Try watching a movie together virtually.\\nNetflix and chill, even from a distance.\\nOffer up the idea of watching a movie together at the same time. If she’s interested, pick out a movie together on a streaming app like Netflix or Hulu. Set a time for you guys to get on a video call together on an app like Facetime or Zoom and start the movie at the same time!\\nThere are even apps like Google Watch Party that allow you to watch the same movie or show together while you’re on a video call.\\n5. Suggest a coffee date to keep it casual.\\nIt’s a low-pressure way to ask her out.\\nWho doesn’t like coffee? Plus, if you’ve only been texting her, it could be a great opportunity to meet face to face without the high stakes of a formal date. Try asking her if she can meet you for coffee when you’re in town.\\nYou could try, “Hey! I’ll be visiting my cousin in a few weeks. You wanna grab some coffee?”\\nIf she happens to be visiting your area, you could try, “Awesome! Let’s get together and grab a coffee.”\\n6. Plan an in-person dinner date if you can.\\nPick out a great first-date spot.\\nIf you plan to be in her area, or if she’s visiting near where you live, try asking if she’d like to grab dinner with you. Pick out a fun dinner spot with food that you’ll both enjoy and set a date and time to meet up. If she’s into it, she’ll say yes!\\nYou could try, “So, there are some really great Mexican restaurants around here. Would you want to come check one out with me when you get to town?”\\nYou could also try, “I used to love going to this burger joint when I was a kid. I haven’t been there in ages. Would you want to come with me when I come to visit?”\\n7. Visit a museum or an art gallery.\\nGo with a more cultured approach if she’s into it.\\nIf she’s a fan of art, paintings, or history, a museum is a great choice. Look for some in her area if you’re visiting near her, or pick out some cool ones around you if she’s coming to your area. Ask her if she’d like to check it out with you.\\nTry, “I know you’re into cocktails, and there’s this really cool museum all about their history if you want to come check it out with me.”\\nYou could also try, “There’s a great Alexander McQueen exhibit going on at the museum in town. You wanna go with me?”\\n8. Ask her if she’d like to join in on your plans.\\nTry going with the direct approach.\\nDon’t stress about whether or not she’ll say yes. Just calmly ask her if she’d like to come with you if you already have a planned event or party. Keep it super simple so there’s no confusion.\\nFor instance, you could try, “I’m coming to town for a friend of mine’s wedding. Do you want to come as my date?”\\nYou could also try, “I’m visiting my parents later this year, would you want to come along with me?”\\n9. Work out the details if she says yes.\\nHave fun planning out the date with her.\\nCongratulations! You’ve done it. Talk to her about the logistics of getting together, which may be a little trickier and require more planning since you don’t live near each other. Coordinate travel plans and set a date and time to get together.\\nFor instance, you could try, “Great! I get into town on Sunday the 18th. Wanna get together then?”\\n10. Be cool and accept it if she says no.\\nYou don’t want to ruin any future chances by getting upset.\\nMaybe she’s not open to the idea of a long-distance relationship, or maybe she’s just not interested right now. Whatever her reasons, it’s important that you accept her answer. Stay calm and tell her it’s no problem. You can still keep texting her, and who knows, maybe one day she’ll be more open to the idea of going out with you.\\nTry something short and sweet like, “No worries! Just figured I’d ask.”\\n11. Verify her info if you’ve never met her before.\\nMake sure she’s not pretending to be someone else.\\n“Catfishing” is when someone pretends to be someone they’re not in order to get closer to someone. If she has a social media or dating profile, run her profile picture through a reverse image search on Google to make sure it’s legit. Take a look through their social media to see if it’s real and doesn’t look fishy or like a bot account.\\nDon’t give someone your bank account or financial information if you don’t really know them.\\nTips\\nIf she’s had a bad day or is super distracted, you may want to wait for another time to ask her out. She might be more open to it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Text messages can be a great way to stay in touch with someone even if they live super far away from you. If you’ve got a good thing going with a girl and you’re messaging each other back and forth, why not give it a shot and ask her out? It may be easier than you realize! To help you do it, we’ve put together a handy list of tips and ideas about what you can say to increase your chances of getting her to say yes.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with texts that will make her smile.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be playful and keep it lighthearted.\", \"描述\": \"Send her something funny or sweet to get the conversation started. Start things off on the right foot by putting her in a good mood so she’ll be much more open to the idea of going out with you.\\nYou could try, “Hey there pretty lady. How’s your day been?” or “You’ve been on my mind all day so I figured I’d text you. How are you?”\\nYou could also try sending her a funny meme and say, “I thought you might like this.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try asking her for advice to get date ideas.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s also a great way to set up asking her out.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t completely sure what she’s into or if you’re looking for date ideas, try asking her for help. Tell her you’re looking for something you think she might be interested in and if she has any suggestions.\\nYou could try, “I know you love sushi, it’s like all you talk about! Do you have a favorite restaurant in your city?”\\nAnother option is something like, “Do you know any good wing spots around you? I know you like it spicy!”\\nIt doesn’t have to be food-related, though. You could try, “I was thinking about going hiking when I come to town. You’re into the great outdoors, know any good places?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See if she’s down for a virtual dinner date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have dinner without leaving your home!\", \"描述\": \"Ask her if she’d like to have dinner with you at the same time and you can pretend like you’re at a restaurant together. Use an app like FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom to do a video call while you eat together.\\nYou could try, “Since we’re so far away, why don’t we do a video call at 7 and we can eat dinner together at the same time!”\\nYou could even exchange recipes so you’re both cooking and eating the same thing.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try watching a movie together virtually.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Netflix and chill, even from a distance.\", \"描述\": \"Offer up the idea of watching a movie together at the same time. If she’s interested, pick out a movie together on a streaming app like Netflix or Hulu. Set a time for you guys to get on a video call together on an app like Facetime or Zoom and start the movie at the same time!\\nThere are even apps like Google Watch Party that allow you to watch the same movie or show together while you’re on a video call.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Suggest a coffee date to keep it casual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"It’s a low-pressure way to ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"Who doesn’t like coffee? Plus, if you’ve only been texting her, it could be a great opportunity to meet face to face without the high stakes of a formal date. Try asking her if she can meet you for coffee when you’re in town.\\nYou could try, “Hey! I’ll be visiting my cousin in a few weeks. You wanna grab some coffee?”\\nIf she happens to be visiting your area, you could try, “Awesome! Let’s get together and grab a coffee.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Plan an in-person dinner date if you can.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick out a great first-date spot.\", \"描述\": \"If you plan to be in her area, or if she’s visiting near where you live, try asking if she’d like to grab dinner with you. Pick out a fun dinner spot with food that you’ll both enjoy and set a date and time to meet up. If she’s into it, she’ll say yes!\\nYou could try, “So, there are some really great Mexican restaurants around here. Would you want to come check one out with me when you get to town?”\\nYou could also try, “I used to love going to this burger joint when I was a kid. I haven’t been there in ages. Would you want to come with me when I come to visit?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Visit a museum or an art gallery.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go with a more cultured approach if she’s into it.\", \"描述\": \"If she’s a fan of art, paintings, or history, a museum is a great choice. Look for some in her area if you’re visiting near her, or pick out some cool ones around you if she’s coming to your area. Ask her if she’d like to check it out with you.\\nTry, “I know you’re into cocktails, and there’s this really cool museum all about their history if you want to come check it out with me.”\\nYou could also try, “There’s a great Alexander McQueen exhibit going on at the museum in town. You wanna go with me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask her if she’d like to join in on your plans.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try going with the direct approach.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t stress about whether or not she’ll say yes. Just calmly ask her if she’d like to come with you if you already have a planned event or party. Keep it super simple so there’s no confusion.\\nFor instance, you could try, “I’m coming to town for a friend of mine’s wedding. Do you want to come as my date?”\\nYou could also try, “I’m visiting my parents later this year, would you want to come along with me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Work out the details if she says yes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have fun planning out the date with her.\", \"描述\": \"Congratulations! You’ve done it. Talk to her about the logistics of getting together, which may be a little trickier and require more planning since you don’t live near each other. Coordinate travel plans and set a date and time to get together.\\nFor instance, you could try, “Great! I get into town on Sunday the 18th. Wanna get together then?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Be cool and accept it if she says no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t want to ruin any future chances by getting upset.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe she’s not open to the idea of a long-distance relationship, or maybe she’s just not interested right now. Whatever her reasons, it’s important that you accept her answer. Stay calm and tell her it’s no problem. You can still keep texting her, and who knows, maybe one day she’ll be more open to the idea of going out with you.\\nTry something short and sweet like, “No worries! Just figured I’d ask.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Verify her info if you’ve never met her before.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure she’s not pretending to be someone else.\", \"描述\": \"“Catfishing” is when someone pretends to be someone they’re not in order to get closer to someone. If she has a social media or dating profile, run her profile picture through a reverse image search on Google to make sure it’s legit. Take a look through their social media to see if it’s real and doesn’t look fishy or like a bot account.\\nDon’t give someone your bank account or financial information if you don’t really know them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If she’s had a bad day or is super distracted, you may want to wait for another time to ask her out. She might be more open to it.\\n\"]}]}}",
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2,547 | How to Ask a Girl for Her Friend's Number (What to Say to Boost Your Chances) | 1. The direct approach
“I really like your friend, can you give me her number?”
Why beat around the bush? If you like her friend, just be upfront about it. Ask for her friend’s number so you can get in touch with her.
If her friend likes you too, she might just tell you!
2. The romantic approach
“I think your friend is gorgeous—can you give me her number?”
She might feel protective of her friend and may not give her number out to just anyone. But if you really like her friend, express how you feel. It may help sway and convince her to give it to you.
You could also say something like, “I’d really like to talk to her to get to know her better.”
3. The crush approach
“I really like your friend, can I get her number so I can call her?”
Play it cute and tell her that you have a little crush on her friend. She may be overwhelmed by the adorableness and give you the number.
Another way you could say it is, “So, I’ve kind of got a crush on your friend. Can you give me her number so I can get in touch with her?”
4. The confident approach
“Hey, I need your friend’s number so I can get in touch.”
A little confidence can sometimes go a long way. Just make sure you don’t go overboard and come off as cocky or arrogant. Be super cool and straightforward when you ask.
You could also try something like, “I’d like to call your friend, can I have her number?”
5. The chill approach
“Hey can I have your friend’s number? Totally cool if not.”
Play it safe and don’t put any extra pressure on her to give you her friend’s number. If she doesn’t feel like you’re forcing it, she might be more comfortable giving it to you. Just act like it’s no big deal if she doesn’t want to do it.
Another option is to try something like, “Hey, no pressure at all, but would you mind sending me your friend’s number? Really, it’s no big deal if that’s not cool.”
6. The joke approach
“I want to send this funny meme to your friend, what’s her number?”
If you’ve got a great meme or a funny video that you think would make her friend laugh, use it as a potential way to get her number. Tell her you’re dying to send it to her, you just need her number.
You could also try, “What’s your friend’s number? I know she would think this video is super funny.”
7. The playful approach
“You should give me your friend’s number because I’m awesome.”
Some playful teasing can sometimes be super effective. Disarm her with it and use it to ask for her friend’s number. She may feel totally comfortable giving it to you.
Try not to come on too strong. Say something like, “I can’t propose to your friend if I don’t have her number” instead of something aggressive like, “Your friend needs me in her life. Give me her number.”
8. The silly approach
“I lost my number, can I have your friend’s?”
Sure, it’s goofy and a little ridiculous, but sometimes that can be effective! Don’t be afraid to get silly with it. It may make her feel safe handing out her friend’s number.
A cheesy joke can sometimes do the trick. Try something like, “Your friend stole my heart, can you give me her number so I can try to get it back?”
9. The homework approach
“I’m working on something with your friend, can I have her number?”
Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s a little white lie, but either way, it could be an effective way to get her friend’s number. Tell her you need to get in touch about an important project or assignment and she may just hand the number over to you.
10. The group chat approach
“What’s your friend’s number? Let’s start up a group chat.”
Just like group dates or hangouts can be a low-pressure, easy way to spend time with someone you like, a group chat can be an effective way to get her number. You could tell her that you need her friend’s number to start up a group chat, or just ask her to create one and add you so you can see her friend’s number and save it from there.
For instance, you could also try saying, “Let’s start up a group chat so we can all coordinate plans” or “We should start up a group chat to share funny memes.”
11. The giving approach
“Hey, can you pass along my number to your friend?”
Try asking her to give your number to her friend so you can avoid putting her on the spot. She can pass along your number and if her friend wants to reach you, well, she’s got your number!
If she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her friend’s number, this is a low-pressure, simple way to get around that.
12. Don’t push it if she says no.
If you’re overly persistent she may never give it to you.
If she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her friend’s number, whatever you do, don’t make a big deal about it. Just shrug it off, move on, and keep going with the conversation. You may get another chance in the future, and you don’t want to mess that up by being too pushy.
Plus, if you make it weird, she may tell her friend about it and you could blow your chances!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. The direct approach\\n“I really like your friend, can you give me her number?”\\nWhy beat around the bush? If you like her friend, just be upfront about it. Ask for her friend’s number so you can get in touch with her.\\nIf her friend likes you too, she might just tell you!\\n2. The romantic approach\\n“I think your friend is gorgeous—can you give me her number?”\\nShe might feel protective of her friend and may not give her number out to just anyone. But if you really like her friend, express how you feel. It may help sway and convince her to give it to you.\\nYou could also say something like, “I’d really like to talk to her to get to know her better.”\\n3. The crush approach\\n“I really like your friend, can I get her number so I can call her?”\\nPlay it cute and tell her that you have a little crush on her friend. She may be overwhelmed by the adorableness and give you the number.\\nAnother way you could say it is, “So, I’ve kind of got a crush on your friend. Can you give me her number so I can get in touch with her?”\\n4. The confident approach\\n“Hey, I need your friend’s number so I can get in touch.”\\nA little confidence can sometimes go a long way. Just make sure you don’t go overboard and come off as cocky or arrogant. Be super cool and straightforward when you ask.\\nYou could also try something like, “I’d like to call your friend, can I have her number?”\\n5. The chill approach\\n“Hey can I have your friend’s number? Totally cool if not.”\\nPlay it safe and don’t put any extra pressure on her to give you her friend’s number. If she doesn’t feel like you’re forcing it, she might be more comfortable giving it to you. Just act like it’s no big deal if she doesn’t want to do it.\\nAnother option is to try something like, “Hey, no pressure at all, but would you mind sending me your friend’s number? Really, it’s no big deal if that’s not cool.”\\n6. The joke approach\\n“I want to send this funny meme to your friend, what’s her number?”\\nIf you’ve got a great meme or a funny video that you think would make her friend laugh, use it as a potential way to get her number. Tell her you’re dying to send it to her, you just need her number.\\nYou could also try, “What’s your friend’s number? I know she would think this video is super funny.”\\n7. The playful approach\\n“You should give me your friend’s number because I’m awesome.”\\nSome playful teasing can sometimes be super effective. Disarm her with it and use it to ask for her friend’s number. She may feel totally comfortable giving it to you.\\nTry not to come on too strong. Say something like, “I can’t propose to your friend if I don’t have her number” instead of something aggressive like, “Your friend needs me in her life. Give me her number.”\\n8. The silly approach\\n“I lost my number, can I have your friend’s?”\\nSure, it’s goofy and a little ridiculous, but sometimes that can be effective! Don’t be afraid to get silly with it. It may make her feel safe handing out her friend’s number.\\nA cheesy joke can sometimes do the trick. Try something like, “Your friend stole my heart, can you give me her number so I can try to get it back?”\\n9. The homework approach\\n“I’m working on something with your friend, can I have her number?”\\nMaybe it’s true, maybe it’s a little white lie, but either way, it could be an effective way to get her friend’s number. Tell her you need to get in touch about an important project or assignment and she may just hand the number over to you.\\n10. The group chat approach\\n“What’s your friend’s number? Let’s start up a group chat.”\\nJust like group dates or hangouts can be a low-pressure, easy way to spend time with someone you like, a group chat can be an effective way to get her number. You could tell her that you need her friend’s number to start up a group chat, or just ask her to create one and add you so you can see her friend’s number and save it from there.\\nFor instance, you could also try saying, “Let’s start up a group chat so we can all coordinate plans” or “We should start up a group chat to share funny memes.”\\n11. The giving approach\\n“Hey, can you pass along my number to your friend?”\\nTry asking her to give your number to her friend so you can avoid putting her on the spot. She can pass along your number and if her friend wants to reach you, well, she’s got your number!\\nIf she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her friend’s number, this is a low-pressure, simple way to get around that.\\n12. Don’t push it if she says no.\\nIf you’re overly persistent she may never give it to you.\\nIf she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her friend’s number, whatever you do, don’t make a big deal about it. Just shrug it off, move on, and keep going with the conversation. You may get another chance in the future, and you don’t want to mess that up by being too pushy.\\nPlus, if you make it weird, she may tell her friend about it and you could blow your chances!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Who knows a girl better than her friends? No one! If you’re feeling a little shy or too nervous to ask a girl you like for her number, asking her friend is a simple, low-pressure solution. And it’s not as tough as you might think. To help you do it, we’ve put together a handy list of ways you can choose from so you can find the best approach for you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The direct approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I really like your friend, can you give me her number?”\", \"描述\": \"Why beat around the bush? If you like her friend, just be upfront about it. Ask for her friend’s number so you can get in touch with her.\\nIf her friend likes you too, she might just tell you!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"The romantic approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I think your friend is gorgeous—can you give me her number?”\", \"描述\": \"She might feel protective of her friend and may not give her number out to just anyone. But if you really like her friend, express how you feel. It may help sway and convince her to give it to you.\\nYou could also say something like, “I’d really like to talk to her to get to know her better.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"The crush approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I really like your friend, can I get her number so I can call her?”\", \"描述\": \"Play it cute and tell her that you have a little crush on her friend. She may be overwhelmed by the adorableness and give you the number.\\nAnother way you could say it is, “So, I’ve kind of got a crush on your friend. Can you give me her number so I can get in touch with her?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"The confident approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Hey, I need your friend’s number so I can get in touch.”\", \"描述\": \"A little confidence can sometimes go a long way. Just make sure you don’t go overboard and come off as cocky or arrogant. Be super cool and straightforward when you ask.\\nYou could also try something like, “I’d like to call your friend, can I have her number?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"The chill approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Hey can I have your friend’s number? Totally cool if not.”\", \"描述\": \"Play it safe and don’t put any extra pressure on her to give you her friend’s number. If she doesn’t feel like you’re forcing it, she might be more comfortable giving it to you. Just act like it’s no big deal if she doesn’t want to do it.\\nAnother option is to try something like, “Hey, no pressure at all, but would you mind sending me your friend’s number? Really, it’s no big deal if that’s not cool.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"The joke approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I want to send this funny meme to your friend, what’s her number?”\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve got a great meme or a funny video that you think would make her friend laugh, use it as a potential way to get her number. Tell her you’re dying to send it to her, you just need her number.\\nYou could also try, “What’s your friend’s number? I know she would think this video is super funny.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"The playful approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“You should give me your friend’s number because I’m awesome.”\", \"描述\": \"Some playful teasing can sometimes be super effective. Disarm her with it and use it to ask for her friend’s number. She may feel totally comfortable giving it to you.\\nTry not to come on too strong. Say something like, “I can’t propose to your friend if I don’t have her number” instead of something aggressive like, “Your friend needs me in her life. Give me her number.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"The silly approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I lost my number, can I have your friend’s?”\", \"描述\": \"Sure, it’s goofy and a little ridiculous, but sometimes that can be effective! Don’t be afraid to get silly with it. It may make her feel safe handing out her friend’s number.\\nA cheesy joke can sometimes do the trick. Try something like, “Your friend stole my heart, can you give me her number so I can try to get it back?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"The homework approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I’m working on something with your friend, can I have her number?”\", \"描述\": \"Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s a little white lie, but either way, it could be an effective way to get her friend’s number. Tell her you need to get in touch about an important project or assignment and she may just hand the number over to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"The group chat approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“What’s your friend’s number? Let’s start up a group chat.”\", \"描述\": \"Just like group dates or hangouts can be a low-pressure, easy way to spend time with someone you like, a group chat can be an effective way to get her number. You could tell her that you need her friend’s number to start up a group chat, or just ask her to create one and add you so you can see her friend’s number and save it from there.\\nFor instance, you could also try saying, “Let’s start up a group chat so we can all coordinate plans” or “We should start up a group chat to share funny memes.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"The giving approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“Hey, can you pass along my number to your friend?”\", \"描述\": \"Try asking her to give your number to her friend so you can avoid putting her on the spot. She can pass along your number and if her friend wants to reach you, well, she’s got your number!\\nIf she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her friend’s number, this is a low-pressure, simple way to get around that.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Don’t push it if she says no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re overly persistent she may never give it to you.\", \"描述\": \"If she doesn’t feel comfortable giving you her friend’s number, whatever you do, don’t make a big deal about it. Just shrug it off, move on, and keep going with the conversation. You may get another chance in the future, and you don’t want to mess that up by being too pushy.\\nPlus, if you make it weird, she may tell her friend about it and you could blow your chances!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,548 | How to Ask a Girl for Her Number Online | 1. What to Do Before You Ask for Her Number
1-1. Use common interests to build a connection.
Most women won’t feel comfortable giving out their number to a complete stranger. But by exchanging a few quality messages, you can show her you’re trustworthy and safe. Ask about interests from her profile. Relate to what she says to spark a genuine connection. Remember, you want to make her feel like you “get” her.
“I’m a Marvel fan, too. Who’s the best Spider-Man: Tom Holland or Toby Maguire?”
“I’m so glad you’re a fellow dog lover. What’s Benson like?”
“Finally! Another coffee snob. What’s your take on pour-overs?”
1-2. Build attraction with playful, funny compliments.
Hint that you’re interested in her, and show her you’re confident by throwing out a compliment or two. You can compliment either her profile or her personality. Just avoid NSFW comments (unless she initiates that) so she’ll feel comfortable giving you her number.
“I wasn’t expecting anyone to be able to restore my faith in this app… But I think you might’ve just done it.”
“When I first saw your profile I thought, ‘I’d let that girl steal my favorite hoodie.’ It’d probably look better on you, anyway.”
Send, “Ok you’re pretty funny.” Then send, “Sorry. Typo. *pretty and funny.”
1-3. Check to see whether she’s interested in you.
You can improve your chances of getting her number if the conversation seems like it’s going well. Here’s a checklist of crucial questions to ask yourself before you make your move:
If her messages are interesting and longer than a few words, she’s probably interested.
If she’s taking forever to respond, she might not be interested. But if she’s matching your speed, that’s a great sign.
Questions show interest, and they mean she really wants to get to know you.
Punctuation matters! Emojis and exclamation points definitely point towards a flirtier vibe.
2. The Best Ways to Ask for a Girl’s Number Online
2-1. By the way, what’s your number?
Try casually asking for her number like it’s not a big deal. You’ll come off as confident and cool. Wondering when to hit send? The best time to ask for her number is in the middle of a fun conversation when the positive vibes are flowing.
“This has been so fun. Could I get your number?”
“Hey, would you feel comfortable giving me your number?”
2-2. I really like talking to you—can I get your number?
Give her a compliment when you ask for her number. By doing that, you show that you’re trying to get her digits as a way to further your connection.
“I love your sense of adventure. Could I get your number so we could keep talking over text?”
“Ok, you’ve made me laugh nonstop for the last 12 messages. Can I please get your number?”
2-3. How about we continue this conversation over text?
This approach offers a pretty natural way to get her number. If you two have established a fun back-and-forth, smoothly suggest texting instead. If she says yes and gives you her number, you’ve got a stress-free first text—just pick up the conversation where you left off.
“I’ve got a burning follow-up question to what you just said. Can I text it to you?”
Try sending part of a joke and then saying, “Can I text you the punchline? What’s your number?”
2-4. If I had your number, we could pretend we didn’t meet on here.
Make a joke about the app for an easy way to find common ground. Pretty much everyone has had an experience on a dating app they’d like to forget. By sending this message, you’re saying, “Hey, let’s get out of here.” The reference to “we” also helps build rapport—like you’re already a team or on the same side.
“I feel like we’re past the awkward Bumble messaging stage. Could I get your number?”
“Hey, they say these apps are numbers games so… could I get yours?”
2-5. I’m not a huge fan of dating apps, want to text instead?
Try this message if you’re looking for a more serious connection. Telling her you’re not into dating apps immediately says “I don’t play games.” If she’s on the same page, she’ll probably respect that you’re straightforward.
“Want to keep taking over text? I’m eager to get off this crazy app.”
“I feel like we could both us a break from this app. Want to switch to texting?”
2-6. I don’t have notifications on here, do you want to exchange numbers?
Give a reason why it makes sense to switch to texting. That way, your request won’t seem awkward or too forward. As a bonus, telling her you’ve turned off notifications hints that you aren’t desperate for matches.
“I want to see a pic of your new puppy! Since we can’t send photos here, would you feel comfortable texting instead?”
“I don’t check this app super often, but I’d love to keep talking. Could I get your number?”
2-7. I’m about to log off, wanna send me your number?
Add a time limit into the conversation so she’ll be more likely to respond. By making yourself available, but not too available, you show her you’ve got a fun, exciting life offline.
“I’ve got to go to work, but send me your number and I’ll text you later!”
“I’m headed on vacation this weekend and won’t be on the app. If you send me your number, we can text, though!”
2-8. I think talking on the phone is a better way to get to know someone, what do you think?
Approach messaging and texting as a way to get to live communication, like a phone call or video chat. Asking to talk on the phone is a totally acceptable request. Plus, it shows you’re serious. After all, it’s easier to see if you click with someone when you can hear their voice.
“Call me old school, but would you be down for a phone call? If so, what’s your number?”
“Hey, no pressure but do you want to call?”
2-9. Hey, I have an idea—shoot me your number and I’ll text you!
Drop a hint that you’ve got something exciting planned. If she wants to find out what it is, she’ll have to give you her number first. Once you’ve got her number, you can follow up with a fun date idea.
“I just thought of something kind of wild. Could I get your number so I can text it to you?”
“I have the funniest idea for a date (if you’re up for it). Can I text it to you?”
2-10. My number’s (456) 930-5555, feel free to reach out!
Switch things up by giving her your number. When you give her the power to text you first, you can get a good read on whether she’s really into you. If she texts you quickly, you know she’s interested!
“Hey, I’ve had fun talking to you. My number’s (858) 029-7890 if you want to keep talking.”
“I think you’re really interesting. If you want to text, hit me up at (456) 927-0019.”
2-11. Could I get your number before our date?
If you’ve already set up a date, you can’t lose with this strategy. It makes total sense to ask for her number in case something comes up or you need to confirm the details of your outing.
“What’s your number—I’ll text you the info!”
“Hey, could I get your number in case anything comes up?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. What to Do Before You Ask for Her Number\\n1-1. Use common interests to build a connection.\\nMost women won’t feel comfortable giving out their number to a complete stranger. But by exchanging a few quality messages, you can show her you’re trustworthy and safe. Ask about interests from her profile. Relate to what she says to spark a genuine connection. Remember, you want to make her feel like you “get” her.\\n“I’m a Marvel fan, too. Who’s the best Spider-Man: Tom Holland or Toby Maguire?”\\n“I’m so glad you’re a fellow dog lover. What’s Benson like?”\\n“Finally! Another coffee snob. What’s your take on pour-overs?”\\n1-2. Build attraction with playful, funny compliments.\\nHint that you’re interested in her, and show her you’re confident by throwing out a compliment or two. You can compliment either her profile or her personality. Just avoid NSFW comments (unless she initiates that) so she’ll feel comfortable giving you her number.\\n“I wasn’t expecting anyone to be able to restore my faith in this app… But I think you might’ve just done it.”\\n“When I first saw your profile I thought, ‘I’d let that girl steal my favorite hoodie.’ It’d probably look better on you, anyway.”\\nSend, “Ok you’re pretty funny.” Then send, “Sorry. Typo. *pretty and funny.”\\n1-3. Check to see whether she’s interested in you.\\nYou can improve your chances of getting her number if the conversation seems like it’s going well. Here’s a checklist of crucial questions to ask yourself before you make your move:\\n\\n If her messages are interesting and longer than a few words, she’s probably interested.\\n If she’s taking forever to respond, she might not be interested. But if she’s matching your speed, that’s a great sign.\\n\\n Questions show interest, and they mean she really wants to get to know you.\\n\\n Punctuation matters! Emojis and exclamation points definitely point towards a flirtier vibe.\\n2. The Best Ways to Ask for a Girl’s Number Online\\n2-1. By the way, what’s your number?\\nTry casually asking for her number like it’s not a big deal. You’ll come off as confident and cool. Wondering when to hit send? The best time to ask for her number is in the middle of a fun conversation when the positive vibes are flowing.\\n“This has been so fun. Could I get your number?”\\n“Hey, would you feel comfortable giving me your number?”\\n2-2. I really like talking to you—can I get your number?\\nGive her a compliment when you ask for her number. By doing that, you show that you’re trying to get her digits as a way to further your connection.\\n“I love your sense of adventure. Could I get your number so we could keep talking over text?”\\n“Ok, you’ve made me laugh nonstop for the last 12 messages. Can I please get your number?”\\n2-3. How about we continue this conversation over text?\\nThis approach offers a pretty natural way to get her number. If you two have established a fun back-and-forth, smoothly suggest texting instead. If she says yes and gives you her number, you’ve got a stress-free first text—just pick up the conversation where you left off.\\n“I’ve got a burning follow-up question to what you just said. Can I text it to you?”\\nTry sending part of a joke and then saying, “Can I text you the punchline? What’s your number?”\\n2-4. If I had your number, we could pretend we didn’t meet on here.\\nMake a joke about the app for an easy way to find common ground. Pretty much everyone has had an experience on a dating app they’d like to forget. By sending this message, you’re saying, “Hey, let’s get out of here.” The reference to “we” also helps build rapport—like you’re already a team or on the same side.\\n“I feel like we’re past the awkward Bumble messaging stage. Could I get your number?”\\n“Hey, they say these apps are numbers games so… could I get yours?”\\n2-5. I’m not a huge fan of dating apps, want to text instead?\\nTry this message if you’re looking for a more serious connection. Telling her you’re not into dating apps immediately says “I don’t play games.” If she’s on the same page, she’ll probably respect that you’re straightforward.\\n“Want to keep taking over text? I’m eager to get off this crazy app.”\\n“I feel like we could both us a break from this app. Want to switch to texting?”\\n2-6. I don’t have notifications on here, do you want to exchange numbers?\\nGive a reason why it makes sense to switch to texting. That way, your request won’t seem awkward or too forward. As a bonus, telling her you’ve turned off notifications hints that you aren’t desperate for matches.\\n“I want to see a pic of your new puppy! Since we can’t send photos here, would you feel comfortable texting instead?”\\n“I don’t check this app super often, but I’d love to keep talking. Could I get your number?”\\n2-7. I’m about to log off, wanna send me your number?\\nAdd a time limit into the conversation so she’ll be more likely to respond. By making yourself available, but not too available, you show her you’ve got a fun, exciting life offline.\\n“I’ve got to go to work, but send me your number and I’ll text you later!”\\n“I’m headed on vacation this weekend and won’t be on the app. If you send me your number, we can text, though!”\\n2-8. I think talking on the phone is a better way to get to know someone, what do you think?\\nApproach messaging and texting as a way to get to live communication, like a phone call or video chat. Asking to talk on the phone is a totally acceptable request. Plus, it shows you’re serious. After all, it’s easier to see if you click with someone when you can hear their voice.\\n“Call me old school, but would you be down for a phone call? If so, what’s your number?”\\n“Hey, no pressure but do you want to call?”\\n2-9. Hey, I have an idea—shoot me your number and I’ll text you!\\nDrop a hint that you’ve got something exciting planned. If she wants to find out what it is, she’ll have to give you her number first. Once you’ve got her number, you can follow up with a fun date idea.\\n“I just thought of something kind of wild. Could I get your number so I can text it to you?”\\n“I have the funniest idea for a date (if you’re up for it). Can I text it to you?”\\n2-10. My number’s (456) 930-5555, feel free to reach out!\\nSwitch things up by giving her your number. When you give her the power to text you first, you can get a good read on whether she’s really into you. If she texts you quickly, you know she’s interested!\\n“Hey, I’ve had fun talking to you. My number’s (858) 029-7890 if you want to keep talking.”\\n“I think you’re really interesting. If you want to text, hit me up at (456) 927-0019.”\\n2-11. Could I get your number before our date?\\nIf you’ve already set up a date, you can’t lose with this strategy. It makes total sense to ask for her number in case something comes up or you need to confirm the details of your outing.\\n“What’s your number—I’ll text you the info!”\\n“Hey, could I get your number in case anything comes up?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve matched with a cute girl, started trading messages, and now you’re ready to take things to the next level. Getting a girl’s number is the first step to move from matching online to meeting up IRL. But what exactly should you say to get those digits? We’ve asked our team of dating experts and we’ll share their pro tips. First, we’ll walk you through a smooth, effortless way to lead up to your request. Then, we’ll share the top 11 ways to ask for a girl’s number online—and boost your chances of getting it.This article is based on an interview with our dating coach, Imad Jbara. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"What to Do Before You Ask for Her Number\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use common interests to build a connection.\", \"描述\": \"Most women won’t feel comfortable giving out their number to a complete stranger. But by exchanging a few quality messages, you can show her you’re trustworthy and safe. Ask about interests from her profile. Relate to what she says to spark a genuine connection. Remember, you want to make her feel like you “get” her.\\n“I’m a Marvel fan, too. Who’s the best Spider-Man: Tom Holland or Toby Maguire?”\\n“I’m so glad you’re a fellow dog lover. What’s Benson like?”\\n“Finally! Another coffee snob. What’s your take on pour-overs?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Build attraction with playful, funny compliments.\", \"描述\": \"Hint that you’re interested in her, and show her you’re confident by throwing out a compliment or two. You can compliment either her profile or her personality. Just avoid NSFW comments (unless she initiates that) so she’ll feel comfortable giving you her number.\\n“I wasn’t expecting anyone to be able to restore my faith in this app… But I think you might’ve just done it.”\\n“When I first saw your profile I thought, ‘I’d let that girl steal my favorite hoodie.’ It’d probably look better on you, anyway.”\\nSend, “Ok you’re pretty funny.” Then send, “Sorry. Typo. *pretty and funny.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check to see whether she’s interested in you.\", \"描述\": \"You can improve your chances of getting her number if the conversation seems like it’s going well. Here’s a checklist of crucial questions to ask yourself before you make your move:\\n\\n If her messages are interesting and longer than a few words, she’s probably interested.\\n If she’s taking forever to respond, she might not be interested. But if she’s matching your speed, that’s a great sign.\\n\\n Questions show interest, and they mean she really wants to get to know you.\\n\\n Punctuation matters! Emojis and exclamation points definitely point towards a flirtier vibe.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"The Best Ways to Ask for a Girl’s Number Online\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"By the way, what’s your number?\", \"描述\": \"Try casually asking for her number like it’s not a big deal. You’ll come off as confident and cool. Wondering when to hit send? The best time to ask for her number is in the middle of a fun conversation when the positive vibes are flowing.\\n“This has been so fun. Could I get your number?”\\n“Hey, would you feel comfortable giving me your number?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"I really like talking to you—can I get your number?\", \"描述\": \"Give her a compliment when you ask for her number. By doing that, you show that you’re trying to get her digits as a way to further your connection.\\n“I love your sense of adventure. Could I get your number so we could keep talking over text?”\\n“Ok, you’ve made me laugh nonstop for the last 12 messages. Can I please get your number?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How about we continue this conversation over text?\", \"描述\": \"This approach offers a pretty natural way to get her number. If you two have established a fun back-and-forth, smoothly suggest texting instead. If she says yes and gives you her number, you’ve got a stress-free first text—just pick up the conversation where you left off.\\n“I’ve got a burning follow-up question to what you just said. Can I text it to you?”\\nTry sending part of a joke and then saying, “Can I text you the punchline? What’s your number?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"If I had your number, we could pretend we didn’t meet on here.\", \"描述\": \"Make a joke about the app for an easy way to find common ground. Pretty much everyone has had an experience on a dating app they’d like to forget. By sending this message, you’re saying, “Hey, let’s get out of here.” The reference to “we” also helps build rapport—like you’re already a team or on the same side.\\n“I feel like we’re past the awkward Bumble messaging stage. Could I get your number?”\\n“Hey, they say these apps are numbers games so… could I get yours?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"I’m not a huge fan of dating apps, want to text instead?\", \"描述\": \"Try this message if you’re looking for a more serious connection. Telling her you’re not into dating apps immediately says “I don’t play games.” If she’s on the same page, she’ll probably respect that you’re straightforward.\\n“Want to keep taking over text? I’m eager to get off this crazy app.”\\n“I feel like we could both us a break from this app. Want to switch to texting?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"I don’t have notifications on here, do you want to exchange numbers?\", \"描述\": \"Give a reason why it makes sense to switch to texting. That way, your request won’t seem awkward or too forward. As a bonus, telling her you’ve turned off notifications hints that you aren’t desperate for matches.\\n“I want to see a pic of your new puppy! Since we can’t send photos here, would you feel comfortable texting instead?”\\n“I don’t check this app super often, but I’d love to keep talking. Could I get your number?”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"I’m about to log off, wanna send me your number?\", \"描述\": \"Add a time limit into the conversation so she’ll be more likely to respond. By making yourself available, but not too available, you show her you’ve got a fun, exciting life offline.\\n“I’ve got to go to work, but send me your number and I’ll text you later!”\\n“I’m headed on vacation this weekend and won’t be on the app. If you send me your number, we can text, though!”\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"I think talking on the phone is a better way to get to know someone, what do you think?\", \"描述\": \"Approach messaging and texting as a way to get to live communication, like a phone call or video chat. Asking to talk on the phone is a totally acceptable request. Plus, it shows you’re serious. After all, it’s easier to see if you click with someone when you can hear their voice.\\n“Call me old school, but would you be down for a phone call? If so, what’s your number?”\\n“Hey, no pressure but do you want to call?”\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Hey, I have an idea—shoot me your number and I’ll text you!\", \"描述\": \"Drop a hint that you’ve got something exciting planned. If she wants to find out what it is, she’ll have to give you her number first. Once you’ve got her number, you can follow up with a fun date idea.\\n“I just thought of something kind of wild. Could I get your number so I can text it to you?”\\n“I have the funniest idea for a date (if you’re up for it). Can I text it to you?”\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"My number’s (456) 930-5555, feel free to reach out!\", \"描述\": \"Switch things up by giving her your number. When you give her the power to text you first, you can get a good read on whether she’s really into you. If she texts you quickly, you know she’s interested!\\n“Hey, I’ve had fun talking to you. My number’s (858) 029-7890 if you want to keep talking.”\\n“I think you’re really interesting. If you want to text, hit me up at (456) 927-0019.”\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Could I get your number before our date?\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve already set up a date, you can’t lose with this strategy. It makes total sense to ask for her number in case something comes up or you need to confirm the details of your outing.\\n“What’s your number—I’ll text you the info!”\\n“Hey, could I get your number in case anything comes up?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,549 | How to Ask a Girl for Her Number in a Funny Way | 1. “I lost my number. Can I have yours?”
This is a great joke that will catch her off guard.
Have your cell with a new contact option opened so it only takes a second to type in. You can use this line on a complete stranger or someone you’ve known for a little while.
2. “Something’s wrong with my phone! Your number isn’t in it.”
Pretend like your phone is broken to get her attention.
When she asks what’s wrong with it, tell her that the only way to fix it is to add her number. This line is even funnier if your phone is actually cracked or broken in some way!
3. “Could you hold my phone? Oh, and add your number, too!”
Do this while you’re tying your shoe or fixing your hair.
Have the “add contact” screen up and ready before you hand your phone over so it’s ready to go. She’ll probably chuckle as she adds her name and number into your phone.
This is a good line to use on a girl you’ve talked to a few times before. You might not want to hand your phone off to a complete stranger.
4. “How will I propose to you if I don’t have your number?”
If you’ve been flirting for a while, try this line.
Some girls might think this is a little cheesy, but others will appreciate the fact that you’re thinking of them as a long-term relationship. She might blush a little as she puts your number in her phone.
Try using this line after you two have already been chatting for a bit. That way, she knows it’s genuine.
5. “I added your name to my contacts. Just missing the number.”
Use this one after you’ve both introduced yourself.
If you don’t know her that well, you can just put her first name into a new contacts option. Then, hand her your phone so she can input the rest of her info.
6. “Could you send me a text to see if my phone’s working?”
Get her number on the sly with this line.
Tell her your number and then ask her to send you a quick text. When she does, you can tell her that your phone is working and thank her for giving her your number. Try something like:
“Yup, it’s working. And now I have your number so we can chat later! Thanks.”
7. “I’d give you my number first, but I have trust issues.”
Say this with a little wink and a smile.
You can tease her into giving you her number first so you don’t even have to ask. Try this line after you two have been flirting and chatting for a bit.
If you’re using this line over text, add a smiley face at the end so she knows you’re kidding around.
8. “We might be able to get along after all. What’s your number?”
Pretend like you thought you weren’t going to like her at first.
If you two have shared a bit of back-and-forth banter already, take it to the next level when you ask for her number. That way, she’ll know you’re a goofy and fun-loving guy.
Your tone can really make or break this line. Be sure to smile and chuckle a little as you say it so she doesn’t think you’re serious.
9. "You were about to ask for my number, weren't you?”
Tease her in a fun, flirty way.
If your conversation is wrapping up, pretend like she was going to ask you for your number. Then, you can either ask for hers or put yours into her phone.
You could also say something like, “I’ll save you the trouble and just give you my number now.”
10. “Can you fill out this form for me?”
Hand over a sheet of paper with 7 empty spaces on it.
When she asks what the spaces are for, tell her to write her number down for you. If she likes your gimmick, she’ll give you her number so you two can chat later.
If you don’t have paper with you, just hand over your phone open to a new contacts option instead.
Tips
If a girl doesn’t want to give you her number, don’t push it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “I lost my number. Can I have yours?”\\nThis is a great joke that will catch her off guard.\\nHave your cell with a new contact option opened so it only takes a second to type in. You can use this line on a complete stranger or someone you’ve known for a little while.\\n2. “Something’s wrong with my phone! Your number isn’t in it.”\\nPretend like your phone is broken to get her attention.\\nWhen she asks what’s wrong with it, tell her that the only way to fix it is to add her number. This line is even funnier if your phone is actually cracked or broken in some way!\\n3. “Could you hold my phone? Oh, and add your number, too!”\\nDo this while you’re tying your shoe or fixing your hair.\\nHave the “add contact” screen up and ready before you hand your phone over so it’s ready to go. She’ll probably chuckle as she adds her name and number into your phone.\\nThis is a good line to use on a girl you’ve talked to a few times before. You might not want to hand your phone off to a complete stranger.\\n4. “How will I propose to you if I don’t have your number?”\\nIf you’ve been flirting for a while, try this line.\\nSome girls might think this is a little cheesy, but others will appreciate the fact that you’re thinking of them as a long-term relationship. She might blush a little as she puts your number in her phone.\\nTry using this line after you two have already been chatting for a bit. That way, she knows it’s genuine.\\n5. “I added your name to my contacts. Just missing the number.”\\nUse this one after you’ve both introduced yourself.\\nIf you don’t know her that well, you can just put her first name into a new contacts option. Then, hand her your phone so she can input the rest of her info.\\n6. “Could you send me a text to see if my phone’s working?”\\nGet her number on the sly with this line.\\nTell her your number and then ask her to send you a quick text. When she does, you can tell her that your phone is working and thank her for giving her your number. Try something like:\\n“Yup, it’s working. And now I have your number so we can chat later! Thanks.”\\n7. “I’d give you my number first, but I have trust issues.”\\nSay this with a little wink and a smile.\\nYou can tease her into giving you her number first so you don’t even have to ask. Try this line after you two have been flirting and chatting for a bit.\\nIf you’re using this line over text, add a smiley face at the end so she knows you’re kidding around.\\n8. “We might be able to get along after all. What’s your number?”\\nPretend like you thought you weren’t going to like her at first.\\nIf you two have shared a bit of back-and-forth banter already, take it to the next level when you ask for her number. That way, she’ll know you’re a goofy and fun-loving guy.\\nYour tone can really make or break this line. Be sure to smile and chuckle a little as you say it so she doesn’t think you’re serious.\\n9. \\\"You were about to ask for my number, weren't you?”\\nTease her in a fun, flirty way.\\nIf your conversation is wrapping up, pretend like she was going to ask you for your number. Then, you can either ask for hers or put yours into her phone.\\nYou could also say something like, “I’ll save you the trouble and just give you my number now.”\\n10. “Can you fill out this form for me?”\\nHand over a sheet of paper with 7 empty spaces on it.\\nWhen she asks what the spaces are for, tell her to write her number down for you. If she likes your gimmick, she’ll give you her number so you two can chat later.\\nIf you don’t have paper with you, just hand over your phone open to a new contacts option instead.\\nTips\\nIf a girl doesn’t want to give you her number, don’t push it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re vibing with a girl and your conversation is wrapping up, you might want to ask for her number. Coming outright and asking is fine, but it’s not very witty or entertaining. Instead, try a funny approach to get her number and make her laugh at the same time.\\nHere are 10 funny, lighthearted ways you can ask a girl for her number.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I lost my number. Can I have yours?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a great joke that will catch her off guard.\", \"描述\": \"Have your cell with a new contact option opened so it only takes a second to type in. You can use this line on a complete stranger or someone you’ve known for a little while.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“Something’s wrong with my phone! Your number isn’t in it.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pretend like your phone is broken to get her attention.\", \"描述\": \"When she asks what’s wrong with it, tell her that the only way to fix it is to add her number. This line is even funnier if your phone is actually cracked or broken in some way!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“Could you hold my phone? Oh, and add your number, too!”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do this while you’re tying your shoe or fixing your hair.\", \"描述\": \"Have the “add contact” screen up and ready before you hand your phone over so it’s ready to go. She’ll probably chuckle as she adds her name and number into your phone.\\nThis is a good line to use on a girl you’ve talked to a few times before. You might not want to hand your phone off to a complete stranger.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“How will I propose to you if I don’t have your number?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’ve been flirting for a while, try this line.\", \"描述\": \"Some girls might think this is a little cheesy, but others will appreciate the fact that you’re thinking of them as a long-term relationship. She might blush a little as she puts your number in her phone.\\nTry using this line after you two have already been chatting for a bit. That way, she knows it’s genuine.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“I added your name to my contacts. Just missing the number.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use this one after you’ve both introduced yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you don’t know her that well, you can just put her first name into a new contacts option. Then, hand her your phone so she can input the rest of her info.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“Could you send me a text to see if my phone’s working?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get her number on the sly with this line.\", \"描述\": \"Tell her your number and then ask her to send you a quick text. When she does, you can tell her that your phone is working and thank her for giving her your number. Try something like:\\n“Yup, it’s working. And now I have your number so we can chat later! Thanks.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“I’d give you my number first, but I have trust issues.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say this with a little wink and a smile.\", \"描述\": \"You can tease her into giving you her number first so you don’t even have to ask. Try this line after you two have been flirting and chatting for a bit.\\nIf you’re using this line over text, add a smiley face at the end so she knows you’re kidding around.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“We might be able to get along after all. What’s your number?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pretend like you thought you weren’t going to like her at first.\", \"描述\": \"If you two have shared a bit of back-and-forth banter already, take it to the next level when you ask for her number. That way, she’ll know you’re a goofy and fun-loving guy.\\nYour tone can really make or break this line. Be sure to smile and chuckle a little as you say it so she doesn’t think you’re serious.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"\\\"You were about to ask for my number, weren't you?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tease her in a fun, flirty way.\", \"描述\": \"If your conversation is wrapping up, pretend like she was going to ask you for your number. Then, you can either ask for hers or put yours into her phone.\\nYou could also say something like, “I’ll save you the trouble and just give you my number now.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“Can you fill out this form for me?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hand over a sheet of paper with 7 empty spaces on it.\", \"描述\": \"When she asks what the spaces are for, tell her to write her number down for you. If she likes your gimmick, she’ll give you her number so you two can chat later.\\nIf you don’t have paper with you, just hand over your phone open to a new contacts option instead.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If a girl doesn’t want to give you her number, don’t push it.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,550 | How to Ask a Girl for a Kiss | 1. Asking for the Kiss
1-1. Make eye contact and hold it.
Grab her attention with soft, kind eye contact. Hold here eyes for longer than a second or two, until there is a breathless, timeless space that surrounds you. The world disappears, and it's just the two of you. To get her attention, keep it minimal and subtle:
Touch her shoulder, upper arm, or cheek and say her name.
A simple, quiet "hey" is still the most effective way to get her attention.
"I need you for a moment" or "just one more thing" is a great, noncommittal way to hold her attention for an end of the date kiss.
Move in for a big, full-body hug to see if she's feeling equally romantic.
1-2. Use a quick, direct question if you're shy.
Polite, simple, and to the point, these lines get right to the point and put it in her court. Keep eye contact when talking, and keep your head close enough that you can both move in when she says yes.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Can we kiss?"
"Is it okay if I kiss you right now?"
1-3. Confidently tell her you'd like to kiss her.
Honesty, in all things, is the best policy. So just tell her you want to kiss her -- it's not forceful or rude, just confidently romantic.
"I want to kiss you right now." Unless she says "no," move in slowly after you say it.
"I'd love a kiss before I go."
"Let's kiss."
"Write her a note saying "kiss me?" or "I want to kiss you," if you think she'd like the cute, romantic gesture. Then move in wordlessly.
1-4. Ask with your body language.
Don't dive for lips, just move in slowly. Give her the chance to move in or gracefully bow back out. If she isn't feeling it and doesn't want to kiss, she'll say no and lean away.
Move in slowly.
Half-close your eyes
Let her come part way, meeting you for the kiss.
Hold her close with a hug, keeping your faces close together. If she keeps eye contact, move in.
1-5. Shrug off rejection with kindness and an apology.
There are a ton of reasons she might say no, but none of them need to be returned with rudeness. She just might not be ready yet. Be sure to politely apologize for misreading things, then move on -- she'll appreciate it.
"I'm sorry. I had a wonderful time tonight-- I'll see you around.
"I misread things, I'm sorry. Have a great night."
"I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, I'm sorry."
2. Setting the Scene
2-1. Go somewhere romantic.
If this is the first time that you're kissing this girl, you'll want to make it special. Take her to a place that is meaningful to both of you. Kiss her somewhere with a beautiful view: the top of a hill, mountain, building, bridge. Kiss her under the stars, or when the sun is setting. Most girls will really appreciate it if you take the time to make a first kiss special.
If you want to make this a romantic kiss, pick a setting that matches the mood. Don't just kiss her at the mall, or at a mundane moment. Plan ahead for something special.
2-2. Get her alone.
The moment will be more intimate, if you're alone, and your timing may seem much more natural. Don't ask her for a kiss in front of your friends or family, nor in front of hers. An audience, however small, will put her under unfair pressure. Even if she does want to kiss you, she might shy away if she feels uncomfortable with the setting.
You may also find that it's much easier to ask this girl for a kiss if you're alone with her. Take the pressure off of yourself as well as off of her!
2-3. Let her know that you're interested.
Flirt with her, and make playful banter. Make plenty of eye contact, and casually touch her to loosen the physical boundaries. Smile at her, and make her feel comfortable. Even if you already know that you like each other: a bit of flirtation can set the mood up for a kiss.
Don't touch her too much, at first. Put your hand on your shoulder or your hand when you talk to her, or put your arm around her, intentionally brush your arm against hers. Find a reason to sit close to her, so that your shoulders and thighs are touching.
3. Getting the Timing Right
3-1. Try to figure out whether she likes you
If the two of you have been flirting, then you should be able to tell. Look out for classic signs of attraction: laughter, touch, and eye contact. If she pays a lot of attention to you, and she seems to make a point of being around you, then there's a good chance that she's interested.
Try not to make this assumption unless you're reasonably sure. It is good to be confident, but try to keep a level head about the situation.
3-2. Find a meaningful moment.
Make your move during a slow song at a dance, or when you see a shooting star. Wait for the end of a date, when you're saying your parting words. Kiss her after you make her laugh, or after you tell her that you like her.
Imagine that you are in a movie. The "right moment" might feel like the scene when the hero kisses the girl. Don't build it up too much – but keep the ambiance in mind.
3-3. Trust your gut.
If you are alone with her, and the mood is good, and you think that she wants you to kiss her, then there's a pretty good chance that the time is right. If you feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her: do it. There is no definitive "best" time to ask a girl for a kiss. You'll need to read the situation, be bold, and make your move. Seize the moment when it comes.
3-4. Be patient.
It might be tempting to leap at the first chance that you get. Read the contextual clues, however, and consider whether there is any reason that it'd be inappropriate to ask her for a kiss right now. Don't force the situation. If you're going to ask a girl for a kiss, let the moment blossom naturally.
It's better to wait than to kiss her at the wrong time. If she is sad, or angry, or otherwise bothered by something, a first kiss may not be the way to distract her. Kiss her when she's in a good mood and receptive to being kissed.
Tips
If you really like her and she feels the same way, just go somewhere alone. While you are alone, flirt with her and get close to her. When you feel that the time is right, move in for the kiss. Smile before and after.
Make sure your breath doesn't smell bad.
Don't be nervous. Practice on anything – even on your pillows or stuffed animals! It may seem embarrassing, but it might really help.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:56",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking for the Kiss\\n1-1. Make eye contact and hold it.\\nGrab her attention with soft, kind eye contact. Hold here eyes for longer than a second or two, until there is a breathless, timeless space that surrounds you. The world disappears, and it's just the two of you. To get her attention, keep it minimal and subtle:\\nTouch her shoulder, upper arm, or cheek and say her name.\\nA simple, quiet \\\"hey\\\" is still the most effective way to get her attention.\\n\\\"I need you for a moment\\\" or \\\"just one more thing\\\" is a great, noncommittal way to hold her attention for an end of the date kiss.\\nMove in for a big, full-body hug to see if she's feeling equally romantic.\\n1-2. Use a quick, direct question if you're shy.\\nPolite, simple, and to the point, these lines get right to the point and put it in her court. Keep eye contact when talking, and keep your head close enough that you can both move in when she says yes.\\n\\\"Can I kiss you?\\\"\\n\\\"Can we kiss?\\\"\\n\\\"Is it okay if I kiss you right now?\\\"\\n1-3. Confidently tell her you'd like to kiss her.\\nHonesty, in all things, is the best policy. So just tell her you want to kiss her -- it's not forceful or rude, just confidently romantic.\\n\\\"I want to kiss you right now.\\\" Unless she says \\\"no,\\\" move in slowly after you say it.\\n\\\"I'd love a kiss before I go.\\\"\\n\\\"Let's kiss.\\\"\\n\\\"Write her a note saying \\\"kiss me?\\\" or \\\"I want to kiss you,\\\" if you think she'd like the cute, romantic gesture. Then move in wordlessly.\\n1-4. Ask with your body language.\\nDon't dive for lips, just move in slowly. Give her the chance to move in or gracefully bow back out. If she isn't feeling it and doesn't want to kiss, she'll say no and lean away.\\nMove in slowly.\\nHalf-close your eyes\\nLet her come part way, meeting you for the kiss.\\nHold her close with a hug, keeping your faces close together. If she keeps eye contact, move in.\\n1-5. Shrug off rejection with kindness and an apology.\\nThere are a ton of reasons she might say no, but none of them need to be returned with rudeness. She just might not be ready yet. Be sure to politely apologize for misreading things, then move on -- she'll appreciate it.\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I had a wonderful time tonight-- I'll see you around.\\n\\\"I misread things, I'm sorry. Have a great night.\\\"\\n\\\"I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, I'm sorry.\\\"\\n2. Setting the Scene\\n2-1. Go somewhere romantic.\\nIf this is the first time that you're kissing this girl, you'll want to make it special. Take her to a place that is meaningful to both of you. Kiss her somewhere with a beautiful view: the top of a hill, mountain, building, bridge. Kiss her under the stars, or when the sun is setting. Most girls will really appreciate it if you take the time to make a first kiss special.\\nIf you want to make this a romantic kiss, pick a setting that matches the mood. Don't just kiss her at the mall, or at a mundane moment. Plan ahead for something special.\\n2-2. Get her alone.\\nThe moment will be more intimate, if you're alone, and your timing may seem much more natural. Don't ask her for a kiss in front of your friends or family, nor in front of hers. An audience, however small, will put her under unfair pressure. Even if she does want to kiss you, she might shy away if she feels uncomfortable with the setting.\\nYou may also find that it's much easier to ask this girl for a kiss if you're alone with her. Take the pressure off of yourself as well as off of her!\\n2-3. Let her know that you're interested.\\nFlirt with her, and make playful banter. Make plenty of eye contact, and casually touch her to loosen the physical boundaries. Smile at her, and make her feel comfortable. Even if you already know that you like each other: a bit of flirtation can set the mood up for a kiss.\\nDon't touch her too much, at first. Put your hand on your shoulder or your hand when you talk to her, or put your arm around her, intentionally brush your arm against hers. Find a reason to sit close to her, so that your shoulders and thighs are touching.\\n3. Getting the Timing Right\\n3-1. Try to figure out whether she likes you\\nIf the two of you have been flirting, then you should be able to tell. Look out for classic signs of attraction: laughter, touch, and eye contact. If she pays a lot of attention to you, and she seems to make a point of being around you, then there's a good chance that she's interested.\\nTry not to make this assumption unless you're reasonably sure. It is good to be confident, but try to keep a level head about the situation.\\n3-2. Find a meaningful moment.\\nMake your move during a slow song at a dance, or when you see a shooting star. Wait for the end of a date, when you're saying your parting words. Kiss her after you make her laugh, or after you tell her that you like her.\\nImagine that you are in a movie. The \\\"right moment\\\" might feel like the scene when the hero kisses the girl. Don't build it up too much – but keep the ambiance in mind.\\n3-3. Trust your gut.\\nIf you are alone with her, and the mood is good, and you think that she wants you to kiss her, then there's a pretty good chance that the time is right. If you feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her: do it. There is no definitive \\\"best\\\" time to ask a girl for a kiss. You'll need to read the situation, be bold, and make your move. Seize the moment when it comes.\\n3-4. Be patient.\\nIt might be tempting to leap at the first chance that you get. Read the contextual clues, however, and consider whether there is any reason that it'd be inappropriate to ask her for a kiss right now. Don't force the situation. If you're going to ask a girl for a kiss, let the moment blossom naturally.\\nIt's better to wait than to kiss her at the wrong time. If she is sad, or angry, or otherwise bothered by something, a first kiss may not be the way to distract her. Kiss her when she's in a good mood and receptive to being kissed.\\nTips\\nIf you really like her and she feels the same way, just go somewhere alone. While you are alone, flirt with her and get close to her. When you feel that the time is right, move in for the kiss. Smile before and after.\\nMake sure your breath doesn't smell bad.\\nDon't be nervous. Practice on anything – even on your pillows or stuffed animals! It may seem embarrassing, but it might really help.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You want to kiss a girl. If the mood is right, and you're picking up strong signs that she wants you to kiss her, then you don't necessarily need to ask. Just lean in and kiss her. If you aren't sure, though, then it may be best to ask first.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking for the Kiss\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact and hold it.\", \"描述\": \"Grab her attention with soft, kind eye contact. Hold here eyes for longer than a second or two, until there is a breathless, timeless space that surrounds you. The world disappears, and it's just the two of you. To get her attention, keep it minimal and subtle:\\nTouch her shoulder, upper arm, or cheek and say her name.\\nA simple, quiet \\\"hey\\\" is still the most effective way to get her attention.\\n\\\"I need you for a moment\\\" or \\\"just one more thing\\\" is a great, noncommittal way to hold her attention for an end of the date kiss.\\nMove in for a big, full-body hug to see if she's feeling equally romantic.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use a quick, direct question if you're shy.\", \"描述\": \"Polite, simple, and to the point, these lines get right to the point and put it in her court. Keep eye contact when talking, and keep your head close enough that you can both move in when she says yes.\\n\\\"Can I kiss you?\\\"\\n\\\"Can we kiss?\\\"\\n\\\"Is it okay if I kiss you right now?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Confidently tell her you'd like to kiss her.\", \"描述\": \"Honesty, in all things, is the best policy. So just tell her you want to kiss her -- it's not forceful or rude, just confidently romantic.\\n\\\"I want to kiss you right now.\\\" Unless she says \\\"no,\\\" move in slowly after you say it.\\n\\\"I'd love a kiss before I go.\\\"\\n\\\"Let's kiss.\\\"\\n\\\"Write her a note saying \\\"kiss me?\\\" or \\\"I want to kiss you,\\\" if you think she'd like the cute, romantic gesture. Then move in wordlessly.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask with your body language.\", \"描述\": \"Don't dive for lips, just move in slowly. Give her the chance to move in or gracefully bow back out. If she isn't feeling it and doesn't want to kiss, she'll say no and lean away.\\nMove in slowly.\\nHalf-close your eyes\\nLet her come part way, meeting you for the kiss.\\nHold her close with a hug, keeping your faces close together. If she keeps eye contact, move in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Shrug off rejection with kindness and an apology.\", \"描述\": \"There are a ton of reasons she might say no, but none of them need to be returned with rudeness. She just might not be ready yet. Be sure to politely apologize for misreading things, then move on -- she'll appreciate it.\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I had a wonderful time tonight-- I'll see you around.\\n\\\"I misread things, I'm sorry. Have a great night.\\\"\\n\\\"I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, I'm sorry.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Setting the Scene\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go somewhere romantic.\", \"描述\": \"If this is the first time that you're kissing this girl, you'll want to make it special. Take her to a place that is meaningful to both of you. Kiss her somewhere with a beautiful view: the top of a hill, mountain, building, bridge. Kiss her under the stars, or when the sun is setting. Most girls will really appreciate it if you take the time to make a first kiss special.\\nIf you want to make this a romantic kiss, pick a setting that matches the mood. Don't just kiss her at the mall, or at a mundane moment. Plan ahead for something special.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get her alone.\", \"描述\": \"The moment will be more intimate, if you're alone, and your timing may seem much more natural. Don't ask her for a kiss in front of your friends or family, nor in front of hers. An audience, however small, will put her under unfair pressure. Even if she does want to kiss you, she might shy away if she feels uncomfortable with the setting.\\nYou may also find that it's much easier to ask this girl for a kiss if you're alone with her. Take the pressure off of yourself as well as off of her!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Let her know that you're interested.\", \"描述\": \"Flirt with her, and make playful banter. Make plenty of eye contact, and casually touch her to loosen the physical boundaries. Smile at her, and make her feel comfortable. Even if you already know that you like each other: a bit of flirtation can set the mood up for a kiss.\\nDon't touch her too much, at first. Put your hand on your shoulder or your hand when you talk to her, or put your arm around her, intentionally brush your arm against hers. Find a reason to sit close to her, so that your shoulders and thighs are touching.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Getting the Timing Right\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to figure out whether she likes you\", \"描述\": \"If the two of you have been flirting, then you should be able to tell. Look out for classic signs of attraction: laughter, touch, and eye contact. If she pays a lot of attention to you, and she seems to make a point of being around you, then there's a good chance that she's interested.\\nTry not to make this assumption unless you're reasonably sure. It is good to be confident, but try to keep a level head about the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a meaningful moment.\", \"描述\": \"Make your move during a slow song at a dance, or when you see a shooting star. Wait for the end of a date, when you're saying your parting words. Kiss her after you make her laugh, or after you tell her that you like her.\\nImagine that you are in a movie. The \\\"right moment\\\" might feel like the scene when the hero kisses the girl. Don't build it up too much – but keep the ambiance in mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Trust your gut.\", \"描述\": \"If you are alone with her, and the mood is good, and you think that she wants you to kiss her, then there's a pretty good chance that the time is right. If you feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her: do it. There is no definitive \\\"best\\\" time to ask a girl for a kiss. You'll need to read the situation, be bold, and make your move. Seize the moment when it comes.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"It might be tempting to leap at the first chance that you get. Read the contextual clues, however, and consider whether there is any reason that it'd be inappropriate to ask her for a kiss right now. Don't force the situation. If you're going to ask a girl for a kiss, let the moment blossom naturally.\\nIt's better to wait than to kiss her at the wrong time. If she is sad, or angry, or otherwise bothered by something, a first kiss may not be the way to distract her. Kiss her when she's in a good mood and receptive to being kissed.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you really like her and she feels the same way, just go somewhere alone. While you are alone, flirt with her and get close to her. When you feel that the time is right, move in for the kiss. Smile before and after.\\n\", \"Make sure your breath doesn't smell bad.\\n\", \"Don't be nervous. Practice on anything – even on your pillows or stuffed animals! It may seem embarrassing, but it might really help.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,551 | How to Ask a Girl out After You Rejected Her | 1. Determining If She Is Interested
1-1. Open the lines of communication.
You may not be sure how she feels about you at this point. If she does not respond, or takes a long time, that is a sign that she is not interested. It might help you to be honest when reaching out to her and acknowledge your previous rejection. You might say something like, "Hey, sorry for telling you no when you asked to hang out. I'm not sure what was going on with me..."
If she responds to your messages, she may still be interested. If she does not respond or takes a day or two to respond, she may not be interested.
Also pay attention to how she responds. If she only responds with one word answers and does not try to keep the conversation going, she may not be interested.
1-2. Pay attention to her body language.
Try to spend time around her if you can. Her actions can let you know if she is still into you. Things you can look for include fronting, proximity, touching, and lingering eye contact.
Fronting refers to the positioning of her body when she speaks with you. If her body is turned towards you, this is a good sign.
Proximity refers to how close she stands to you when you talk. If she is standing within 18 inches of you, she is likely interested. To test this out, take a step closer to her when you are talking. If she stays in the same spot, she is interested. If she takes a step back, she may not be interested.
Touching refers to if and/or how she touches you when you talk to her. Does she touch your arm or shoulder? The more touching, the more interested she is.
Making direct eye contact with you and staring for two or three seconds is also a good sign.
1-3. Talk to her friends.
Her friends will know if you have a chance. They probably already know what happened between the two of you. Let her friends know that you really like her and you made a mistake. Ask them if they think you have a chance.
You may say, “Hey, do you think Ashley would give me another chance? I really like her and made a mistake last time.”
You could ask her friends, “Hey, I really like Ashley. Can you put in a good word for me?”
If her friends say that she is not interested, ask them why and get some feedback. Ask them what you could do to change her mind.
Her friends will probably tell her that you asked about her. This may help your case.
2. Asking Her Out
2-1. Make sure she is alone.
Go about your attempts in a quiet and modest way. Don't ask when other people are around. This will make it easier on both of you. You do not have to worry about being rejected in front of anyone, and she will not feel any pressure to say yes.
If you are around other people, you may say, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second? I wanted to ask you something.”
You can also send her a text message and tell her that you wanted to meet up with her.
2-2. Find a good opening line.
Do not try to impress her with a joke or some grand gesture. Just be yourself and be straightforward. Maybe you'll be lucky enough that she still wants to date you; however, given that you already rejected her, she might be very skeptical. The best way to do this is address it openly, acknowledging what happened and assuring her you are really interested.
You might say, "Hey Ashley, you know when I told you no before, I was pretty nervous and didn't know how to respond. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'd really like to get to know you better. Are you free this weekend?"
It’s best to ask her out in person, but you can also ask her over the phone or through a text message.
2-3. Ask her to a specific activity.
Inviting her to a specific activity shows that you are really trying to get to know her and will take some of the pressure off of you. Some good activities are skating, concerts, mini golf, or bowling. If possible, choose an activity that you know she will like.
Tailor your conversation based on how she asked you out. You may say, "You know how you asked me earlier to go to a movie, and that didn't work out? Would you be free to see the "Transformers" movie next Tuesday? Because I'd like to take you."
2-4. Be polite if she rejects you.
No matter what her answer is, be polite and respectful. She may still be hurt by your rejection or moved on to someone else. You want her to leave this conversation thinking that you are a nice person. She is more likely to reconsider if you end on a good note.
If this happens, you can say, “Ok, I understand. If you change your mind, the offer is always on the table.”
If she was the one who rejected you. Then she changed her mind, and now she loves you! But you still rejected her, and now she doesn't want you anymore! Be polite and she may take you back.
If she still rejects you, or has moved on to someone else, it may be time to let go.
3. Examining Your Past Behavior
3-1. Reflect on past events.
Before you proceed, make sure you have thought about the past. Why did you turn her down in the first place? How did you respond to her? Were you kind or rude? Does she think of you negatively because of how you responded? If you let her down gently, she may be more open to going out with you. If you were on the harsh side, it will be more difficult.
For example, if she asked you out while you were in the presence of your friends, you looked her up and down, laughed and said "I don't think so," your chances of her accepting a date are pretty slim.
Make a list of the reasons that you did not want to go out with her in the past. Have any of these things changed? Have you changed your perspective on the reasons?
3-2. Assess your motives.
Do you want to go out with her because you truly like her? Do you want to go out with her just to see if she will say yes? To figure out your true motives, make a list of the pros and cons about the situation.
Your pros and cons should include the things that you like about her and the things that you do not like about her.
If the pros are longer than the cons, you may actually like her. If the cons or longer than the pros, you may just be trying to stroke your ego.
3-3. Determine if you are willing to be honest with her.
Whether you let her down easy or not, you probably hurt her feelings. She may have difficulty believing that you really want to go out with or her or she may think that you are playing with her emotions. Be honest with her about the reasons that you turned her down and let her know that you are serious this time around.
If you were rude, you may say, “I’m sorry for how I handled things the first time. I thought things over and realized I made a mistake. I would love to take you out.”
Maybe you were uncomfortable with her doing the asking. You may say, “I’m not used to girls asking me out, and it caught me off guard. Please give me another chance and let me take you out.”
Tips
Be candid and sincere.
Remember to think positively!
Confidence is the key. If you are confident, then she may take you back!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Determining If She Is Interested\\n1-1. Open the lines of communication.\\nYou may not be sure how she feels about you at this point. If she does not respond, or takes a long time, that is a sign that she is not interested. It might help you to be honest when reaching out to her and acknowledge your previous rejection. You might say something like, \\\"Hey, sorry for telling you no when you asked to hang out. I'm not sure what was going on with me...\\\"\\nIf she responds to your messages, she may still be interested. If she does not respond or takes a day or two to respond, she may not be interested.\\nAlso pay attention to how she responds. If she only responds with one word answers and does not try to keep the conversation going, she may not be interested.\\n1-2. Pay attention to her body language.\\nTry to spend time around her if you can. Her actions can let you know if she is still into you. Things you can look for include fronting, proximity, touching, and lingering eye contact.\\nFronting refers to the positioning of her body when she speaks with you. If her body is turned towards you, this is a good sign.\\nProximity refers to how close she stands to you when you talk. If she is standing within 18 inches of you, she is likely interested. To test this out, take a step closer to her when you are talking. If she stays in the same spot, she is interested. If she takes a step back, she may not be interested.\\nTouching refers to if and/or how she touches you when you talk to her. Does she touch your arm or shoulder? The more touching, the more interested she is.\\nMaking direct eye contact with you and staring for two or three seconds is also a good sign.\\n1-3. Talk to her friends.\\nHer friends will know if you have a chance. They probably already know what happened between the two of you. Let her friends know that you really like her and you made a mistake. Ask them if they think you have a chance.\\nYou may say, “Hey, do you think Ashley would give me another chance? I really like her and made a mistake last time.”\\nYou could ask her friends, “Hey, I really like Ashley. Can you put in a good word for me?”\\nIf her friends say that she is not interested, ask them why and get some feedback. Ask them what you could do to change her mind.\\nHer friends will probably tell her that you asked about her. This may help your case.\\n2. Asking Her Out\\n2-1. Make sure she is alone.\\nGo about your attempts in a quiet and modest way. Don't ask when other people are around. This will make it easier on both of you. You do not have to worry about being rejected in front of anyone, and she will not feel any pressure to say yes.\\nIf you are around other people, you may say, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second? I wanted to ask you something.”\\nYou can also send her a text message and tell her that you wanted to meet up with her.\\n2-2. Find a good opening line.\\nDo not try to impress her with a joke or some grand gesture. Just be yourself and be straightforward. Maybe you'll be lucky enough that she still wants to date you; however, given that you already rejected her, she might be very skeptical. The best way to do this is address it openly, acknowledging what happened and assuring her you are really interested.\\nYou might say, \\\"Hey Ashley, you know when I told you no before, I was pretty nervous and didn't know how to respond. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'd really like to get to know you better. Are you free this weekend?\\\"\\nIt’s best to ask her out in person, but you can also ask her over the phone or through a text message.\\n2-3. Ask her to a specific activity.\\nInviting her to a specific activity shows that you are really trying to get to know her and will take some of the pressure off of you. Some good activities are skating, concerts, mini golf, or bowling. If possible, choose an activity that you know she will like.\\nTailor your conversation based on how she asked you out. You may say, \\\"You know how you asked me earlier to go to a movie, and that didn't work out? Would you be free to see the \\\"Transformers\\\" movie next Tuesday? Because I'd like to take you.\\\"\\n2-4. Be polite if she rejects you.\\nNo matter what her answer is, be polite and respectful. She may still be hurt by your rejection or moved on to someone else. You want her to leave this conversation thinking that you are a nice person. She is more likely to reconsider if you end on a good note.\\nIf this happens, you can say, “Ok, I understand. If you change your mind, the offer is always on the table.”\\nIf she was the one who rejected you. Then she changed her mind, and now she loves you! But you still rejected her, and now she doesn't want you anymore! Be polite and she may take you back.\\nIf she still rejects you, or has moved on to someone else, it may be time to let go.\\n3. Examining Your Past Behavior\\n3-1. Reflect on past events.\\nBefore you proceed, make sure you have thought about the past. Why did you turn her down in the first place? How did you respond to her? Were you kind or rude? Does she think of you negatively because of how you responded? If you let her down gently, she may be more open to going out with you. If you were on the harsh side, it will be more difficult.\\nFor example, if she asked you out while you were in the presence of your friends, you looked her up and down, laughed and said \\\"I don't think so,\\\" your chances of her accepting a date are pretty slim.\\nMake a list of the reasons that you did not want to go out with her in the past. Have any of these things changed? Have you changed your perspective on the reasons?\\n3-2. Assess your motives.\\nDo you want to go out with her because you truly like her? Do you want to go out with her just to see if she will say yes? To figure out your true motives, make a list of the pros and cons about the situation.\\nYour pros and cons should include the things that you like about her and the things that you do not like about her.\\nIf the pros are longer than the cons, you may actually like her. If the cons or longer than the pros, you may just be trying to stroke your ego.\\n3-3. Determine if you are willing to be honest with her.\\nWhether you let her down easy or not, you probably hurt her feelings. She may have difficulty believing that you really want to go out with or her or she may think that you are playing with her emotions. Be honest with her about the reasons that you turned her down and let her know that you are serious this time around.\\nIf you were rude, you may say, “I’m sorry for how I handled things the first time. I thought things over and realized I made a mistake. I would love to take you out.”\\nMaybe you were uncomfortable with her doing the asking. You may say, “I’m not used to girls asking me out, and it caught me off guard. Please give me another chance and let me take you out.”\\nTips\\nBe candid and sincere.\\nRemember to think positively!\\nConfidence is the key. If you are confident, then she may take you back!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So a girl asked you out, and you turned her down. Now you have changed your mind and want to give things a chance. Before you ask her out, pay attention to how she acts around you and see how she reacts when you open the lines of communication. If she seems to be interested, ask her out on a date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determining If She Is Interested\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the lines of communication.\", \"描述\": \"You may not be sure how she feels about you at this point. If she does not respond, or takes a long time, that is a sign that she is not interested. It might help you to be honest when reaching out to her and acknowledge your previous rejection. You might say something like, \\\"Hey, sorry for telling you no when you asked to hang out. I'm not sure what was going on with me...\\\"\\nIf she responds to your messages, she may still be interested. If she does not respond or takes a day or two to respond, she may not be interested.\\nAlso pay attention to how she responds. If she only responds with one word answers and does not try to keep the conversation going, she may not be interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to her body language.\", \"描述\": \"Try to spend time around her if you can. Her actions can let you know if she is still into you. Things you can look for include fronting, proximity, touching, and lingering eye contact.\\nFronting refers to the positioning of her body when she speaks with you. If her body is turned towards you, this is a good sign.\\nProximity refers to how close she stands to you when you talk. If she is standing within 18 inches of you, she is likely interested. To test this out, take a step closer to her when you are talking. If she stays in the same spot, she is interested. If she takes a step back, she may not be interested.\\nTouching refers to if and/or how she touches you when you talk to her. Does she touch your arm or shoulder? The more touching, the more interested she is.\\nMaking direct eye contact with you and staring for two or three seconds is also a good sign.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to her friends.\", \"描述\": \"Her friends will know if you have a chance. They probably already know what happened between the two of you. Let her friends know that you really like her and you made a mistake. Ask them if they think you have a chance.\\nYou may say, “Hey, do you think Ashley would give me another chance? I really like her and made a mistake last time.”\\nYou could ask her friends, “Hey, I really like Ashley. Can you put in a good word for me?”\\nIf her friends say that she is not interested, ask them why and get some feedback. Ask them what you could do to change her mind.\\nHer friends will probably tell her that you asked about her. This may help your case.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure she is alone.\", \"描述\": \"Go about your attempts in a quiet and modest way. Don't ask when other people are around. This will make it easier on both of you. You do not have to worry about being rejected in front of anyone, and she will not feel any pressure to say yes.\\nIf you are around other people, you may say, “Hey, can I talk to you for a second? I wanted to ask you something.”\\nYou can also send her a text message and tell her that you wanted to meet up with her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a good opening line.\", \"描述\": \"Do not try to impress her with a joke or some grand gesture. Just be yourself and be straightforward. Maybe you'll be lucky enough that she still wants to date you; however, given that you already rejected her, she might be very skeptical. The best way to do this is address it openly, acknowledging what happened and assuring her you are really interested.\\nYou might say, \\\"Hey Ashley, you know when I told you no before, I was pretty nervous and didn't know how to respond. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'd really like to get to know you better. Are you free this weekend?\\\"\\nIt’s best to ask her out in person, but you can also ask her over the phone or through a text message.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her to a specific activity.\", \"描述\": \"Inviting her to a specific activity shows that you are really trying to get to know her and will take some of the pressure off of you. Some good activities are skating, concerts, mini golf, or bowling. If possible, choose an activity that you know she will like.\\nTailor your conversation based on how she asked you out. You may say, \\\"You know how you asked me earlier to go to a movie, and that didn't work out? Would you be free to see the \\\"Transformers\\\" movie next Tuesday? Because I'd like to take you.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be polite if she rejects you.\", \"描述\": \"No matter what her answer is, be polite and respectful. She may still be hurt by your rejection or moved on to someone else. You want her to leave this conversation thinking that you are a nice person. She is more likely to reconsider if you end on a good note.\\nIf this happens, you can say, “Ok, I understand. If you change your mind, the offer is always on the table.”\\nIf she was the one who rejected you. Then she changed her mind, and now she loves you! But you still rejected her, and now she doesn't want you anymore! Be polite and she may take you back.\\nIf she still rejects you, or has moved on to someone else, it may be time to let go.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Examining Your Past Behavior\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reflect on past events.\", \"描述\": \"Before you proceed, make sure you have thought about the past. Why did you turn her down in the first place? How did you respond to her? Were you kind or rude? Does she think of you negatively because of how you responded? If you let her down gently, she may be more open to going out with you. If you were on the harsh side, it will be more difficult.\\nFor example, if she asked you out while you were in the presence of your friends, you looked her up and down, laughed and said \\\"I don't think so,\\\" your chances of her accepting a date are pretty slim.\\nMake a list of the reasons that you did not want to go out with her in the past. Have any of these things changed? Have you changed your perspective on the reasons?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assess your motives.\", \"描述\": \"Do you want to go out with her because you truly like her? Do you want to go out with her just to see if she will say yes? To figure out your true motives, make a list of the pros and cons about the situation.\\nYour pros and cons should include the things that you like about her and the things that you do not like about her.\\nIf the pros are longer than the cons, you may actually like her. If the cons or longer than the pros, you may just be trying to stroke your ego.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine if you are willing to be honest with her.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you let her down easy or not, you probably hurt her feelings. She may have difficulty believing that you really want to go out with or her or she may think that you are playing with her emotions. Be honest with her about the reasons that you turned her down and let her know that you are serious this time around.\\nIf you were rude, you may say, “I’m sorry for how I handled things the first time. I thought things over and realized I made a mistake. I would love to take you out.”\\nMaybe you were uncomfortable with her doing the asking. You may say, “I’m not used to girls asking me out, and it caught me off guard. Please give me another chance and let me take you out.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Be candid and sincere.\\n\", \"Remember to think positively!\\n\", \"Confidence is the key. If you are confident, then she may take you back!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,552 | How to Ask a Girl out if You're a Shy Boy (Pre Tweens) | 1. Approaching Her
1-1. Make eye contact and smile.
Making eye contact with the girl is a form of talking to her without actually speaking. If you can get her attention and look her in the eye, it'll let her know and realise that you notice her, may even think that you are interested in her. Follow it up with a smile so that she knows that you like her. Pay attention to how she reacts to you making eye contact and smiling. If she smiles back, it's a good sign that she might be interested in you too.
When you smile, it makes you feel good and can be contagious.
Don't stare at her and creep her out. If she makes eye contact with you, hold it for two or three seconds before looking away.
Smile as you pass her in the halls or during recess or lunch.
1-2. Say "hi" to her.
Once she notices you and you've made eye contact and smiled at one another a couple of times, you should go out of your way to say hi to her when you see her. Saying hello will make you feel more comfortable talking to her before you have a real conversation.
Don't stay in this phase for too long without introducing yourself or she may just think you're a friendly guy.
Even if she seems confused the first time, keep saying hi in a friendly way, and she will become used to it.
1-3. Talk to her.
After you feel good saying hello, you can start talking to her. She will probably already know your name if you're in the same class, so it should make talking to her easier. Figure out what you share in common, like a musician or a TV show. Find the right time to talk, such as during lunch, recess, or when class is over.
You can say something like, "Hey Sandy, my name's Garrett. We are in the same class. How's your day going so far?" or "Hey Joceline, my name's Tony. I noticed you have the new Drake album. Is it good?"
If you get assigned to the same group to do a project, talk to her when you aren't working on the assignment.
2. Getting to Know Her
2-1. Ask what social media she's on.
If you want to get to know the girl outside of school, a good way to talk to them is through social media. Add her on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr. When you have her username, you can direct message her.
You can ask by saying, "Have you tried the new Snapchat filter? Do you have an account? What's your username?"
Ask her how her day is going before asking her about her username.
2-2. Get her phone number.
You can text each other if you both have a cell phone. If one of you doesn't have a cellphone, you can talk over a land-line. When you ask for her number, don't make it a big deal about it. Ask as if you were asking her any other question.
Ask her for her phone number by saying, "Hey, I'd like to talk to you outside of school. Can I have your phone number?"
Ask her what the best time to call would be.
2-3. Pay attention to her interests.
Once you start talking to her regularly, be sure to listen more than you talk. Ask her questions if the conversation stalls and see what she has to say about herself. If you haven't heard of something she talks about, then do research online to learn about it.
You can ask her questions like "What kind of movies do you like," "What kind of music do you like," or "Are you into sports?"
2-4. Make her laugh and don't be mean to her.
If you're a funny guy, then try to make her laugh whenever you can. Boys who can make girls laugh are viewed as friendly, fun and popular. If you aren't funny, that's okay too. If this is the case, be nice during the conversation and stay away from picking on her or making fun of her.
The happier she is while talking to you, the more she'll want to date you.
3. Asking Her Out
3-1. Ask her how she feels about boys.
Before you ask her out, see what her feelings on boys are. While some girls are ready to date at this age, others may just want friends. You should also ask her about her parent's views on dating. If they forbid it, it could make it harder for you to get a date with her.
You can start the conversation by saying something like, "I heard Marty and Sarah were dating now. What do you think about that?"
Ask her about her parents by asking something like, "My parents said it would be okay if I went to the movies with a girl. What do your parents think about that sort of stuff?"
3-2. Think of things you can do together.
If you've talked to her, then you'll have a good idea what her interests might be. Think about what she likes and try to form a date around that. For instance, if she likes the outdoors, think of doing something at a park. If she likes movies, think of a movie that she would be excited about and ask your parents to get you tickets.
3-3. Get your parents permission.
Before you ask the girl out on a date, you need to make sure that you're allowed to go out on dates. Talk to your parents and be open and honest. Tell them about the girl, and why you want to see her more often. Calling it a relationship may scare your parents, so just tell them that you want to "hang out" with the girl.
You can say something like, "There's a girl in class that I like and I want to see if she wants to go to the movies. Would it be okay if we went together?"
3-4. Ask her out via social media, phone, or in person.
Asking a girl out via social media is most likely the least stressful way to ask her out, but it also is not as effective. She may not see the message for a while, or what you have to say may get confused via text. A better way to ask the girl out is by calling her on the phone or talking to her in person. Simply ask her if she'd like to go with you and do something together.
Ask her out by saying something like, "Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go the movies with me. I'm seeing the Avengers 5."
4. Getting Over Your Shyness
4-1. Try new things.
Joining a new sport, hobby, or club can help you come out of your shell and get used to talking to people. Figure out something you'd be interested in and ask you parents if you can start doing it. Being in an atmosphere that forces you to talk to people will open you up and help you become less shy.
Join your school's football, soccer, wrestling, basketball, cheerleading, or chess team. Pick whatever interests you the most.
If you're not sure what programs your school has, ask a teacher or someone who works in the office.
There are also out-of-school programs like art classes, martial arts classes, dance classes, or religious study.
Ask your parents for help with signing you up for classes or giving you a ride to practice.
4-2. Talk to people more often.
One reason that might make you shy and unable to talk to girls is that you're scared they won't like you back. You can reduce this by introducing yourself to more people. The more you get used to talking to people, seeing what they like, and realizing that people enjoy your company, the less you'll feel anxious meeting new ones.
If someone doesn't like you it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that there's something wrong with you. It just means that their personality does not mesh well with yours.
In life, you have to realize that everyone won't necessarily like you, just as you don't like everyone you meet.
4-3. Believe in yourself.
It's easy to automatically think that the girl you're going to ask out is going to say no, but it's not helpful to think this way. Instead of assuming that she will say no, believe in yourself. Think about your positive traits and be proud of the things that make you a unique person.
Instead of telling yourself "I can't ask her out, I'm too scared" say "I can't ask her out right now, but I'm working on my confidence."
4-4. Take risks and just do it.
The more you wait and think about introducing yourself or asking the girl out, the more you'll over-think the situation, and it could become awkward. Instead of coming up with a complex plan, just go for it. The best way to overcome your shyness and fears is to expose yourself to the situation.
You may feel sad and rejected the first time around, but it will lessen with each time you ask new girls out.
The more you try, the more experience you'll get which will help you understand the best ways to ask out girls.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching Her\\n1-1. Make eye contact and smile.\\nMaking eye contact with the girl is a form of talking to her without actually speaking. If you can get her attention and look her in the eye, it'll let her know and realise that you notice her, may even think that you are interested in her. Follow it up with a smile so that she knows that you like her. Pay attention to how she reacts to you making eye contact and smiling. If she smiles back, it's a good sign that she might be interested in you too.\\nWhen you smile, it makes you feel good and can be contagious.\\nDon't stare at her and creep her out. If she makes eye contact with you, hold it for two or three seconds before looking away.\\nSmile as you pass her in the halls or during recess or lunch.\\n1-2. Say \\\"hi\\\" to her.\\nOnce she notices you and you've made eye contact and smiled at one another a couple of times, you should go out of your way to say hi to her when you see her. Saying hello will make you feel more comfortable talking to her before you have a real conversation.\\nDon't stay in this phase for too long without introducing yourself or she may just think you're a friendly guy.\\nEven if she seems confused the first time, keep saying hi in a friendly way, and she will become used to it.\\n1-3. Talk to her.\\nAfter you feel good saying hello, you can start talking to her. She will probably already know your name if you're in the same class, so it should make talking to her easier. Figure out what you share in common, like a musician or a TV show. Find the right time to talk, such as during lunch, recess, or when class is over.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"Hey Sandy, my name's Garrett. We are in the same class. How's your day going so far?\\\" or \\\"Hey Joceline, my name's Tony. I noticed you have the new Drake album. Is it good?\\\"\\nIf you get assigned to the same group to do a project, talk to her when you aren't working on the assignment.\\n2. Getting to Know Her\\n2-1. Ask what social media she's on.\\nIf you want to get to know the girl outside of school, a good way to talk to them is through social media. Add her on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr. When you have her username, you can direct message her.\\nYou can ask by saying, \\\"Have you tried the new Snapchat filter? Do you have an account? What's your username?\\\"\\nAsk her how her day is going before asking her about her username.\\n2-2. Get her phone number.\\nYou can text each other if you both have a cell phone. If one of you doesn't have a cellphone, you can talk over a land-line. When you ask for her number, don't make it a big deal about it. Ask as if you were asking her any other question.\\nAsk her for her phone number by saying, \\\"Hey, I'd like to talk to you outside of school. Can I have your phone number?\\\"\\nAsk her what the best time to call would be.\\n2-3. Pay attention to her interests.\\nOnce you start talking to her regularly, be sure to listen more than you talk. Ask her questions if the conversation stalls and see what she has to say about herself. If you haven't heard of something she talks about, then do research online to learn about it.\\nYou can ask her questions like \\\"What kind of movies do you like,\\\" \\\"What kind of music do you like,\\\" or \\\"Are you into sports?\\\"\\n2-4. Make her laugh and don't be mean to her.\\nIf you're a funny guy, then try to make her laugh whenever you can. Boys who can make girls laugh are viewed as friendly, fun and popular. If you aren't funny, that's okay too. If this is the case, be nice during the conversation and stay away from picking on her or making fun of her.\\nThe happier she is while talking to you, the more she'll want to date you.\\n3. Asking Her Out\\n3-1. Ask her how she feels about boys.\\nBefore you ask her out, see what her feelings on boys are. While some girls are ready to date at this age, others may just want friends. You should also ask her about her parent's views on dating. If they forbid it, it could make it harder for you to get a date with her.\\nYou can start the conversation by saying something like, \\\"I heard Marty and Sarah were dating now. What do you think about that?\\\"\\nAsk her about her parents by asking something like, \\\"My parents said it would be okay if I went to the movies with a girl. What do your parents think about that sort of stuff?\\\"\\n3-2. Think of things you can do together.\\nIf you've talked to her, then you'll have a good idea what her interests might be. Think about what she likes and try to form a date around that. For instance, if she likes the outdoors, think of doing something at a park. If she likes movies, think of a movie that she would be excited about and ask your parents to get you tickets.\\n3-3. Get your parents permission.\\nBefore you ask the girl out on a date, you need to make sure that you're allowed to go out on dates. Talk to your parents and be open and honest. Tell them about the girl, and why you want to see her more often. Calling it a relationship may scare your parents, so just tell them that you want to \\\"hang out\\\" with the girl.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"There's a girl in class that I like and I want to see if she wants to go to the movies. Would it be okay if we went together?\\\"\\n3-4. Ask her out via social media, phone, or in person.\\nAsking a girl out via social media is most likely the least stressful way to ask her out, but it also is not as effective. She may not see the message for a while, or what you have to say may get confused via text. A better way to ask the girl out is by calling her on the phone or talking to her in person. Simply ask her if she'd like to go with you and do something together.\\nAsk her out by saying something like, \\\"Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go the movies with me. I'm seeing the Avengers 5.\\\"\\n4. Getting Over Your Shyness\\n4-1. Try new things.\\nJoining a new sport, hobby, or club can help you come out of your shell and get used to talking to people. Figure out something you'd be interested in and ask you parents if you can start doing it. Being in an atmosphere that forces you to talk to people will open you up and help you become less shy.\\nJoin your school's football, soccer, wrestling, basketball, cheerleading, or chess team. Pick whatever interests you the most.\\nIf you're not sure what programs your school has, ask a teacher or someone who works in the office.\\nThere are also out-of-school programs like art classes, martial arts classes, dance classes, or religious study.\\nAsk your parents for help with signing you up for classes or giving you a ride to practice.\\n4-2. Talk to people more often.\\nOne reason that might make you shy and unable to talk to girls is that you're scared they won't like you back. You can reduce this by introducing yourself to more people. The more you get used to talking to people, seeing what they like, and realizing that people enjoy your company, the less you'll feel anxious meeting new ones.\\nIf someone doesn't like you it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that there's something wrong with you. It just means that their personality does not mesh well with yours.\\nIn life, you have to realize that everyone won't necessarily like you, just as you don't like everyone you meet.\\n4-3. Believe in yourself.\\nIt's easy to automatically think that the girl you're going to ask out is going to say no, but it's not helpful to think this way. Instead of assuming that she will say no, believe in yourself. Think about your positive traits and be proud of the things that make you a unique person.\\nInstead of telling yourself \\\"I can't ask her out, I'm too scared\\\" say \\\"I can't ask her out right now, but I'm working on my confidence.\\\"\\n4-4. Take risks and just do it.\\nThe more you wait and think about introducing yourself or asking the girl out, the more you'll over-think the situation, and it could become awkward. Instead of coming up with a complex plan, just go for it. The best way to overcome your shyness and fears is to expose yourself to the situation.\\nYou may feel sad and rejected the first time around, but it will lessen with each time you ask new girls out.\\nThe more you try, the more experience you'll get which will help you understand the best ways to ask out girls.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Life for a pre-tween can be confusing because you might be experiencing new things for the first time and it can be even more challenging if you're shy. One example of this is asking a girl out. You can feel overwhelmed, scared, and unsure of what to do. Luckily, there are ways you can approach her and get to know her, that will help you get over your shyness and ask her out.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact and smile.\", \"描述\": \"Making eye contact with the girl is a form of talking to her without actually speaking. If you can get her attention and look her in the eye, it'll let her know and realise that you notice her, may even think that you are interested in her. Follow it up with a smile so that she knows that you like her. Pay attention to how she reacts to you making eye contact and smiling. If she smiles back, it's a good sign that she might be interested in you too.\\nWhen you smile, it makes you feel good and can be contagious.\\nDon't stare at her and creep her out. If she makes eye contact with you, hold it for two or three seconds before looking away.\\nSmile as you pass her in the halls or during recess or lunch.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"hi\\\" to her.\", \"描述\": \"Once she notices you and you've made eye contact and smiled at one another a couple of times, you should go out of your way to say hi to her when you see her. Saying hello will make you feel more comfortable talking to her before you have a real conversation.\\nDon't stay in this phase for too long without introducing yourself or she may just think you're a friendly guy.\\nEven if she seems confused the first time, keep saying hi in a friendly way, and she will become used to it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to her.\", \"描述\": \"After you feel good saying hello, you can start talking to her. She will probably already know your name if you're in the same class, so it should make talking to her easier. Figure out what you share in common, like a musician or a TV show. Find the right time to talk, such as during lunch, recess, or when class is over.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"Hey Sandy, my name's Garrett. We are in the same class. How's your day going so far?\\\" or \\\"Hey Joceline, my name's Tony. I noticed you have the new Drake album. Is it good?\\\"\\nIf you get assigned to the same group to do a project, talk to her when you aren't working on the assignment.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask what social media she's on.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to get to know the girl outside of school, a good way to talk to them is through social media. Add her on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr. When you have her username, you can direct message her.\\nYou can ask by saying, \\\"Have you tried the new Snapchat filter? Do you have an account? What's your username?\\\"\\nAsk her how her day is going before asking her about her username.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get her phone number.\", \"描述\": \"You can text each other if you both have a cell phone. If one of you doesn't have a cellphone, you can talk over a land-line. When you ask for her number, don't make it a big deal about it. Ask as if you were asking her any other question.\\nAsk her for her phone number by saying, \\\"Hey, I'd like to talk to you outside of school. Can I have your phone number?\\\"\\nAsk her what the best time to call would be.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to her interests.\", \"描述\": \"Once you start talking to her regularly, be sure to listen more than you talk. Ask her questions if the conversation stalls and see what she has to say about herself. If you haven't heard of something she talks about, then do research online to learn about it.\\nYou can ask her questions like \\\"What kind of movies do you like,\\\" \\\"What kind of music do you like,\\\" or \\\"Are you into sports?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make her laugh and don't be mean to her.\", \"描述\": \"If you're a funny guy, then try to make her laugh whenever you can. Boys who can make girls laugh are viewed as friendly, fun and popular. If you aren't funny, that's okay too. If this is the case, be nice during the conversation and stay away from picking on her or making fun of her.\\nThe happier she is while talking to you, the more she'll want to date you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her how she feels about boys.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask her out, see what her feelings on boys are. While some girls are ready to date at this age, others may just want friends. You should also ask her about her parent's views on dating. If they forbid it, it could make it harder for you to get a date with her.\\nYou can start the conversation by saying something like, \\\"I heard Marty and Sarah were dating now. What do you think about that?\\\"\\nAsk her about her parents by asking something like, \\\"My parents said it would be okay if I went to the movies with a girl. What do your parents think about that sort of stuff?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think of things you can do together.\", \"描述\": \"If you've talked to her, then you'll have a good idea what her interests might be. Think about what she likes and try to form a date around that. For instance, if she likes the outdoors, think of doing something at a park. If she likes movies, think of a movie that she would be excited about and ask your parents to get you tickets.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get your parents permission.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask the girl out on a date, you need to make sure that you're allowed to go out on dates. Talk to your parents and be open and honest. Tell them about the girl, and why you want to see her more often. Calling it a relationship may scare your parents, so just tell them that you want to \\\"hang out\\\" with the girl.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"There's a girl in class that I like and I want to see if she wants to go to the movies. Would it be okay if we went together?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her out via social media, phone, or in person.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a girl out via social media is most likely the least stressful way to ask her out, but it also is not as effective. She may not see the message for a while, or what you have to say may get confused via text. A better way to ask the girl out is by calling her on the phone or talking to her in person. Simply ask her if she'd like to go with you and do something together.\\nAsk her out by saying something like, \\\"Hey I was wondering if you'd like to go the movies with me. I'm seeing the Avengers 5.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting Over Your Shyness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try new things.\", \"描述\": \"Joining a new sport, hobby, or club can help you come out of your shell and get used to talking to people. Figure out something you'd be interested in and ask you parents if you can start doing it. Being in an atmosphere that forces you to talk to people will open you up and help you become less shy.\\nJoin your school's football, soccer, wrestling, basketball, cheerleading, or chess team. Pick whatever interests you the most.\\nIf you're not sure what programs your school has, ask a teacher or someone who works in the office.\\nThere are also out-of-school programs like art classes, martial arts classes, dance classes, or religious study.\\nAsk your parents for help with signing you up for classes or giving you a ride to practice.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to people more often.\", \"描述\": \"One reason that might make you shy and unable to talk to girls is that you're scared they won't like you back. You can reduce this by introducing yourself to more people. The more you get used to talking to people, seeing what they like, and realizing that people enjoy your company, the less you'll feel anxious meeting new ones.\\nIf someone doesn't like you it doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that there's something wrong with you. It just means that their personality does not mesh well with yours.\\nIn life, you have to realize that everyone won't necessarily like you, just as you don't like everyone you meet.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Believe in yourself.\", \"描述\": \"It's easy to automatically think that the girl you're going to ask out is going to say no, but it's not helpful to think this way. Instead of assuming that she will say no, believe in yourself. Think about your positive traits and be proud of the things that make you a unique person.\\nInstead of telling yourself \\\"I can't ask her out, I'm too scared\\\" say \\\"I can't ask her out right now, but I'm working on my confidence.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take risks and just do it.\", \"描述\": \"The more you wait and think about introducing yourself or asking the girl out, the more you'll over-think the situation, and it could become awkward. Instead of coming up with a complex plan, just go for it. The best way to overcome your shyness and fears is to expose yourself to the situation.\\nYou may feel sad and rejected the first time around, but it will lessen with each time you ask new girls out.\\nThe more you try, the more experience you'll get which will help you understand the best ways to ask out girls.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,553 | How to Ask a Girl out if You're in the Friend Zone | 1. Setting the Right Tone
1-1. Consider the consequences of asking her out.
Will you still be able to friends if she says no? How will your relationship change once you make your romantic feelings clear? Did you become friends with her in the first place because of a romantic interest? Think the scenario through to the end and make sure that you're okay with both possibilities (her saying yes and her saying no).
1-2. Consider her feelings.
As her friend, you have the advantage of knowing what’s going on in her personal life. If she’s going through something difficult or if she’s just broken up with her long-term boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s not the right time to ask her out. If she’s specifically mentioned recently that she doesn’t want a boyfriend/girlfriend, respect her feelings.
If it's not the right time for her, you are much more likely to get rejected. Instead, be a good friend to her – that’s what she needs right now. She’ll appreciate and remember it.
Catch her in a good mood. When a person is happy, they tend to react more positively to new things.
1-3. Flirt with her.
If you’ve never shown any romantic interest in her before, it’s best to send a few hints before you ask her out. Flirt with her and see how she reacts. You don’t have to be over the top with your flirting. It can be as simple as telling her she looks pretty in a new dress, or touching her lightly on the arm when you’re talking to her.
How does she react to the flirting? What’s her body language? Is she facing you directly and looking into your eyes? Is she smiling at you? Does she look comfortable and happy?
Look for positive body language like uncrossed arms, facing you directly, leaning in closer to you, smiling, laughing and meeting your gaze.
1-4. Start off with light conversation.
Before you make the leap, you want things to feel pleasant and low pressure for her. If you begin by acting strangely or in an unusually shy manner, she’s going to pick up on that immediately. Awkwardness might set in. To avoid this, start with a fun conversation, make her laugh, and let your personality shine.
Once she’s smiling and engaged, then escalate the romance.
Flirt with her in a very obvious way, get a little closer to her, and get ready to make your move.
2. Asking Her Out
2-1. Ask her out in person.
It’s tempting to ask someone out through text or social media. However, it’s better to do it face to face so that everything is interpreted the way you want it to be. She will see your facial expression, hear the tone of your voice, and understand clearly what your intentions are.
If you send her a casual text asking if she wants to hang out that night, the implication will be that you’re just friends.
This ends up keeping you in the Friend Zone, which is precisely where you don’t want to be.
Have the conversation somewhere you both feel comfortable, like one of your usual hang out spots or during a lunch break.
2-2. Stay calm and smile.
Try not to be nervous when you talk to her. If you are at ease, it will make her feel that way, too. These situations can get awkward very quickly – try to avoid that by continuing the easygoing vibe you already share as friends.
Keep everything positive and speak to her in a warm, genuine way.
She will take her cues from you, so remember to stay calm and keep it positive.
2-3. Be direct.
You don’t have to make a big production out of it, but it’s important that she knows that you want to go out with her, not hang out with her. Being completely passive when you have feelings for someone is one of the major reasons why people end up permanently in the Friend Zone.
Say something like, “I really love hanging out with you and I’m starting to have feelings for you as more than a friend. I’m hoping that maybe you’re starting to feel that way, too. I think it would be awesome to take you out on a proper date.”
By keeping your feelings to yourself, you might miss your chance with her completely.
2-4. Have a date activity already in mind.
Don’t be ambiguous. Instead of saying, “So, would you like to go out some time?” ask her out for a specific day and activity. Your first date doesn’t have to be anything super formal. Even something as simple as, “Would you like to see the new exhibit at the Contemporary Art Museum with me this Saturday?” will work.
Try to pick something that you two have never done together before, so that it has a completely different vibe from one of your regular hang out sessions.
If you choose an activity that you already regularly do together, she might not completely realize your intentions.
3. Respecting Your Friendship
3-1. Explain how important her friendship is to you.
Tell her something like, “I don’t want to put a strain on our friendship, because I really do love being your friend. If you aren’t into me in a romantic way, I just want you to know that nothing about our friendship will change."
Add something like, "We’re still the same people we were before I started this conversation. I want to continue having fun with you, and if you want that to be on a completely platonic level, I will respect that.”
3-2. Make her comfortable.
It’s really important that you create a comfortable and safe atmosphere when you ask her out. Don’t be pushy or needy – just be you. Say something like, "I have feelings for you, but I don't want that to make you feel anxious or uncomfortable. Your friendship is important to me. Please tell me if this conversation makes you feel awkward at all."
Make sure she knows that whatever her answer is, you’re going to be ok with it.
Things may be a bit awkward at first but eventually the friendship will go back to normal.
3-3. Accept her response.
It’s unfortunate, but these things happen. However, how you choose to handle the rejection makes all the difference. When you handle a rejection with grace and maturity, it shows others that you are confident in yourself. Grace, maturity and confidence are all highly attractive qualities.
Just because she doesn’t feel romantically about you now doesn’t mean she’ll always feel that way, so keep a positive attitude.
However, if she does say that she might have feelings for you in the future, don't put your love life on hold. Her saying this is essentially a "no." You should pursue other people if you want to and should not count on her feeling differently in the future.
At the very least, she will appreciate this as your friend, because it enables you both to continue your friendship.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Setting the Right Tone\\n1-1. Consider the consequences of asking her out.\\nWill you still be able to friends if she says no? How will your relationship change once you make your romantic feelings clear? Did you become friends with her in the first place because of a romantic interest? Think the scenario through to the end and make sure that you're okay with both possibilities (her saying yes and her saying no).\\n1-2. Consider her feelings.\\nAs her friend, you have the advantage of knowing what’s going on in her personal life. If she’s going through something difficult or if she’s just broken up with her long-term boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s not the right time to ask her out. If she’s specifically mentioned recently that she doesn’t want a boyfriend/girlfriend, respect her feelings.\\nIf it's not the right time for her, you are much more likely to get rejected. Instead, be a good friend to her – that’s what she needs right now. She’ll appreciate and remember it.\\nCatch her in a good mood. When a person is happy, they tend to react more positively to new things.\\n1-3. Flirt with her.\\nIf you’ve never shown any romantic interest in her before, it’s best to send a few hints before you ask her out. Flirt with her and see how she reacts. You don’t have to be over the top with your flirting. It can be as simple as telling her she looks pretty in a new dress, or touching her lightly on the arm when you’re talking to her.\\nHow does she react to the flirting? What’s her body language? Is she facing you directly and looking into your eyes? Is she smiling at you? Does she look comfortable and happy?\\nLook for positive body language like uncrossed arms, facing you directly, leaning in closer to you, smiling, laughing and meeting your gaze.\\n1-4. Start off with light conversation.\\nBefore you make the leap, you want things to feel pleasant and low pressure for her. If you begin by acting strangely or in an unusually shy manner, she’s going to pick up on that immediately. Awkwardness might set in. To avoid this, start with a fun conversation, make her laugh, and let your personality shine.\\nOnce she’s smiling and engaged, then escalate the romance.\\nFlirt with her in a very obvious way, get a little closer to her, and get ready to make your move.\\n2. Asking Her Out\\n2-1. Ask her out in person.\\nIt’s tempting to ask someone out through text or social media. However, it’s better to do it face to face so that everything is interpreted the way you want it to be. She will see your facial expression, hear the tone of your voice, and understand clearly what your intentions are.\\nIf you send her a casual text asking if she wants to hang out that night, the implication will be that you’re just friends.\\nThis ends up keeping you in the Friend Zone, which is precisely where you don’t want to be.\\nHave the conversation somewhere you both feel comfortable, like one of your usual hang out spots or during a lunch break.\\n2-2. Stay calm and smile.\\nTry not to be nervous when you talk to her. If you are at ease, it will make her feel that way, too. These situations can get awkward very quickly – try to avoid that by continuing the easygoing vibe you already share as friends.\\nKeep everything positive and speak to her in a warm, genuine way.\\nShe will take her cues from you, so remember to stay calm and keep it positive.\\n2-3. Be direct.\\nYou don’t have to make a big production out of it, but it’s important that she knows that you want to go out with her, not hang out with her. Being completely passive when you have feelings for someone is one of the major reasons why people end up permanently in the Friend Zone.\\nSay something like, “I really love hanging out with you and I’m starting to have feelings for you as more than a friend. I’m hoping that maybe you’re starting to feel that way, too. I think it would be awesome to take you out on a proper date.”\\nBy keeping your feelings to yourself, you might miss your chance with her completely.\\n2-4. Have a date activity already in mind.\\nDon’t be ambiguous. Instead of saying, “So, would you like to go out some time?” ask her out for a specific day and activity. Your first date doesn’t have to be anything super formal. Even something as simple as, “Would you like to see the new exhibit at the Contemporary Art Museum with me this Saturday?” will work.\\nTry to pick something that you two have never done together before, so that it has a completely different vibe from one of your regular hang out sessions.\\nIf you choose an activity that you already regularly do together, she might not completely realize your intentions.\\n3. Respecting Your Friendship\\n3-1. Explain how important her friendship is to you.\\nTell her something like, “I don’t want to put a strain on our friendship, because I really do love being your friend. If you aren’t into me in a romantic way, I just want you to know that nothing about our friendship will change.\\\"\\nAdd something like, \\\"We’re still the same people we were before I started this conversation. I want to continue having fun with you, and if you want that to be on a completely platonic level, I will respect that.”\\n3-2. Make her comfortable.\\nIt’s really important that you create a comfortable and safe atmosphere when you ask her out. Don’t be pushy or needy – just be you. Say something like, \\\"I have feelings for you, but I don't want that to make you feel anxious or uncomfortable. Your friendship is important to me. Please tell me if this conversation makes you feel awkward at all.\\\"\\nMake sure she knows that whatever her answer is, you’re going to be ok with it.\\nThings may be a bit awkward at first but eventually the friendship will go back to normal.\\n3-3. Accept her response.\\nIt’s unfortunate, but these things happen. However, how you choose to handle the rejection makes all the difference. When you handle a rejection with grace and maturity, it shows others that you are confident in yourself. Grace, maturity and confidence are all highly attractive qualities.\\nJust because she doesn’t feel romantically about you now doesn’t mean she’ll always feel that way, so keep a positive attitude.\\nHowever, if she does say that she might have feelings for you in the future, don't put your love life on hold. Her saying this is essentially a \\\"no.\\\" You should pursue other people if you want to and should not count on her feeling differently in the future.\\nAt the very least, she will appreciate this as your friend, because it enables you both to continue your friendship.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It’s completely normal to develop feelings for a friend. However, once you’ve been put into the Friend Zone, it can sometimes feel like there’s no way out. You definitely don’t want to ruin the great friendship you already have, which puts even more pressure on you. Even if it's a little scary, the best thing you can do is be straightforward about your romantic feelings. Try to keep the tone light and always approach her respectfully and confidently. If you do, the conversation will go smoothly, regardless of the outcome.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Setting the Right Tone\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider the consequences of asking her out.\", \"描述\": \"Will you still be able to friends if she says no? How will your relationship change once you make your romantic feelings clear? Did you become friends with her in the first place because of a romantic interest? Think the scenario through to the end and make sure that you're okay with both possibilities (her saying yes and her saying no).\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider her feelings.\", \"描述\": \"As her friend, you have the advantage of knowing what’s going on in her personal life. If she’s going through something difficult or if she’s just broken up with her long-term boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s not the right time to ask her out. If she’s specifically mentioned recently that she doesn’t want a boyfriend/girlfriend, respect her feelings.\\nIf it's not the right time for her, you are much more likely to get rejected. Instead, be a good friend to her – that’s what she needs right now. She’ll appreciate and remember it.\\nCatch her in a good mood. When a person is happy, they tend to react more positively to new things.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flirt with her.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve never shown any romantic interest in her before, it’s best to send a few hints before you ask her out. Flirt with her and see how she reacts. You don’t have to be over the top with your flirting. It can be as simple as telling her she looks pretty in a new dress, or touching her lightly on the arm when you’re talking to her.\\nHow does she react to the flirting? What’s her body language? Is she facing you directly and looking into your eyes? Is she smiling at you? Does she look comfortable and happy?\\nLook for positive body language like uncrossed arms, facing you directly, leaning in closer to you, smiling, laughing and meeting your gaze.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start off with light conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Before you make the leap, you want things to feel pleasant and low pressure for her. If you begin by acting strangely or in an unusually shy manner, she’s going to pick up on that immediately. Awkwardness might set in. To avoid this, start with a fun conversation, make her laugh, and let your personality shine.\\nOnce she’s smiling and engaged, then escalate the romance.\\nFlirt with her in a very obvious way, get a little closer to her, and get ready to make your move.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her out in person.\", \"描述\": \"It’s tempting to ask someone out through text or social media. However, it’s better to do it face to face so that everything is interpreted the way you want it to be. She will see your facial expression, hear the tone of your voice, and understand clearly what your intentions are.\\nIf you send her a casual text asking if she wants to hang out that night, the implication will be that you’re just friends.\\nThis ends up keeping you in the Friend Zone, which is precisely where you don’t want to be.\\nHave the conversation somewhere you both feel comfortable, like one of your usual hang out spots or during a lunch break.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Stay calm and smile.\", \"描述\": \"Try not to be nervous when you talk to her. If you are at ease, it will make her feel that way, too. These situations can get awkward very quickly – try to avoid that by continuing the easygoing vibe you already share as friends.\\nKeep everything positive and speak to her in a warm, genuine way.\\nShe will take her cues from you, so remember to stay calm and keep it positive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be direct.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to make a big production out of it, but it’s important that she knows that you want to go out with her, not hang out with her. Being completely passive when you have feelings for someone is one of the major reasons why people end up permanently in the Friend Zone.\\nSay something like, “I really love hanging out with you and I’m starting to have feelings for you as more than a friend. I’m hoping that maybe you’re starting to feel that way, too. I think it would be awesome to take you out on a proper date.”\\nBy keeping your feelings to yourself, you might miss your chance with her completely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a date activity already in mind.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t be ambiguous. Instead of saying, “So, would you like to go out some time?” ask her out for a specific day and activity. Your first date doesn’t have to be anything super formal. Even something as simple as, “Would you like to see the new exhibit at the Contemporary Art Museum with me this Saturday?” will work.\\nTry to pick something that you two have never done together before, so that it has a completely different vibe from one of your regular hang out sessions.\\nIf you choose an activity that you already regularly do together, she might not completely realize your intentions.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Respecting Your Friendship\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explain how important her friendship is to you.\", \"描述\": \"Tell her something like, “I don’t want to put a strain on our friendship, because I really do love being your friend. If you aren’t into me in a romantic way, I just want you to know that nothing about our friendship will change.\\\"\\nAdd something like, \\\"We’re still the same people we were before I started this conversation. I want to continue having fun with you, and if you want that to be on a completely platonic level, I will respect that.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make her comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"It’s really important that you create a comfortable and safe atmosphere when you ask her out. Don’t be pushy or needy – just be you. Say something like, \\\"I have feelings for you, but I don't want that to make you feel anxious or uncomfortable. Your friendship is important to me. Please tell me if this conversation makes you feel awkward at all.\\\"\\nMake sure she knows that whatever her answer is, you’re going to be ok with it.\\nThings may be a bit awkward at first but eventually the friendship will go back to normal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept her response.\", \"描述\": \"It’s unfortunate, but these things happen. However, how you choose to handle the rejection makes all the difference. When you handle a rejection with grace and maturity, it shows others that you are confident in yourself. Grace, maturity and confidence are all highly attractive qualities.\\nJust because she doesn’t feel romantically about you now doesn’t mean she’ll always feel that way, so keep a positive attitude.\\nHowever, if she does say that she might have feelings for you in the future, don't put your love life on hold. Her saying this is essentially a \\\"no.\\\" You should pursue other people if you want to and should not count on her feeling differently in the future.\\nAt the very least, she will appreciate this as your friend, because it enables you both to continue your friendship.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,554 | How to Ask a Girl out if You Are a Girl | 1. Gauging Her Interest
1-1. Notice her body language.
Oftentimes, a woman’s interest level is very obvious if you pay attention to her body language. Many women will touch you slightly or lean into you as you speak if they are interested. You might also catch her glancing at you from across the room and making eye contact with you at times when you are not even speaking. These signs could mean that she likes you.
If you know her to be a shy person, however, or see that she is reserved around others, then perhaps gauging her body language is not the best indicator of interest.
1-2. Talk to mutual friends.
Your mutual friends, if you have them, will also be able to give you great insights on how to ask her out and especially in gauging her interest in you. If they ever have the chance to be around the both of you simultaneously, ask them to see if they can pick up on any vibes from her that would indicate interest.
You might ask them for advice as well on how to talk to her and ask her out.
1-3. Show your interest.
She might not be showing interest in you because you have not shown any in her. As you are gauging her interest in you, you should be progressively and subtly showing interest in her. Pay attention to her when she’s talking and always say ‘hello’ when you see her and greet her with a smile.
1-4. Determine her relationship status.
Before you consider pursuing any woman, you should determine her relationship status. Perhaps the woman you are interested in is a friend or someone you know. If she is in a relationship, it is probably not best to ask her out, as this could be seen as being disrespectful. If you don’t know the girl well, however, see if you can ask around about her to determine if she’s dating someone.
Social media can be helpful in this area, as well. Facebook has a relationship option so that you can indicate whether or not you are dating someone. She might also post about her significant other, if she has one, on other social media sites.
1-5. Learn her views on the LGBT community.
Ask her what she thinks about gay rights, homophobia, etc. If she acts disgusted or uncomfortable by the idea or experience, try to listen to her reasons and consider sharing your opinions about the matter. At this point, if her responses are negative, you should strongly consider not asking her out as she will likely not be open to the idea.
Though not all women are gay or bi, there are many women out there for you. Don’t get caught up on one who is disinterested.
Take care of yourself, as well. If she is making very harsh or insensitive comments about the gay community, know that it is okay to remove yourself from the conversation.
1-6. Learn if she is bisexual, lesbian or has a romantic preference to women.
Just because she doesn't have anything against LGBT people doesn't always mean that she's LGBT herself. See if you can find out from mutual friends if she is interested in women. You might also be able to tell from her social media posts if you have access to her page.
You could also approach her and ask something like “are you here with your boyfriend?” If she is not in a relationship or is not heterosexual, she might disclose both to you.
2. Flirting With Her
2-1. Make eye contact.
Direct eye contact indicates interest in what the other person is saying and showcases that you care and are listening. Eye contact can also indicate desire for or interest in another person, particularly if you smile while looking at them. Always maintain eye contact with your love interest.
Don’t stare for too long, however. This might be offputting to her.
2-2. Touch her occasionally.
When the two of you are speaking, find ways to reach out and touch her slightly. Don’t do anything overt or intense, but instead place your hand on her shoulder for a few seconds. Also, if she has something on her face like an eyelash, you can offer to get it off, but always ask first.
2-3. Be confident.
Women, and people in general, respond positively to those who are confident. Don’t approach her stammering over your words or twiddling your fingers. Instead, stroll up cooly and calmly and then proceed to talk to her.
Take a few deep breaths to calm down before you approach her if you are nervous.
Practice your approach in the mirror.
2-4. Make her laugh.
One of the easiest ways to talk to any woman is by making her laugh. Most people enjoy a good joke or a humorous person, so try a few funny stories on her or come up with something funny in the moment to get her attention.
You might make fun of something like the cafeteria lunch or make a joke about something funny a coworker did to make her laugh.
2-5. Compliment her.
Women also tend to respond positively to being complimented. Find something about her that you like in particular and compliment her on it. While it is nice to receive compliments on your physical appearance, it can also be nice to be complimented on aspects of your character or your work.
You might say something like “I noticed some of your artwork the other day and it’s phenomenal!”
2-6. Get to know her.
As you begin the process of flirting with her, make sure you are also working to actively get to know her, as well. Ask her questions about herself and her life to begin developing a bigger picture of who she is as a person.
Make sure you don’t ask questions that are too personal if you don’t know her well, however.
Maybe ask things like what she does for fun or her favorite book or movie.
This will also help you determine whether or not you officially want to ask her out.
3. Asking Her Out
3-1. Ask for her number.
Before you ask her out, you will want to have a way to contact her first. If you don’t already have her number, ask her if you could have it so you can call or text her sometime. If you don’t see her often in person, you could reach out to her via social media to ask.
You might say something like “I wanted to know if maybe we could talk or text sometime? If so, I’d like to have your number.”
3-2. Ask in person.
If possible, make sure you ask her on a date in person. This will typically be received better, will be taken more seriously, and is more romantic than asking via phone or text. Try to identify a time when the two of you can be alone and ask her at that time.
You could even text her something like “hey, are you gonna be around at 1PM today? I have something to ask you.”
3-3. Accept the outcome.
Her response to you may be positive or it may be negative. Either way, you should work to accept the outcome. If she accepts your offer to take her out, then great! Work on planning a nice date for her. However, if she states that she is not interested, that is okay, too. Move forward and consider other options.
Respect her privacy. She may be LGBT but not want others to know. If she communicates this to you, do not out her. Allow her to do that on her own terms.
3-4. Be direct.
Avoid statements like “wanna hangout?” This could be construed by her as a completely friendly invitation to hangout in a non-romantic way. If you have intentions to date her, then you will need to be much more clear with her.
Say something like “I was wondering if I could take you on a date this weekend to a new restaurant downtown.”
3-5. Plan a thoughtful and fun date.
If she does accept your offer to take her on a date, you should now begin planning or finalizing your plans on where you will take her. It is nice when you do all of the primary planning for the date but find a way to include her interests and likes, as well.
Ask her if she has any dietary restrictions so that you know what kind of restaurants to take her to or to stay away from.
If you pick dinner, allow her to pick the movies.
Tips
Try buying her coffee/tea. Ask her what her favorite is and then buy it for her.
Try to keep conversations lighthearted until the right time. Until then, be sensitive, sweet, and caring. Try to have a good sense of humor. If she laughs and replies with her own joke, that is when you know that she can be herself around you.
Be there for her when she needs you.
Warnings
Do not change yourself for her.
If she's straight, don't try to change her. Nothing good can come from this.
If you are a lesbian or bisexual girl and she strongly has an opinion against LGBT people, it's probably not best to spend too much time around her. The result may be hurt feelings and/or being victim of a stereotype.
If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. Don't dwell on it and pester her until she says yes, because more than likely you're reducing your chances.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Gauging Her Interest\\n1-1. Notice her body language.\\nOftentimes, a woman’s interest level is very obvious if you pay attention to her body language. Many women will touch you slightly or lean into you as you speak if they are interested. You might also catch her glancing at you from across the room and making eye contact with you at times when you are not even speaking. These signs could mean that she likes you.\\nIf you know her to be a shy person, however, or see that she is reserved around others, then perhaps gauging her body language is not the best indicator of interest.\\n1-2. Talk to mutual friends.\\nYour mutual friends, if you have them, will also be able to give you great insights on how to ask her out and especially in gauging her interest in you. If they ever have the chance to be around the both of you simultaneously, ask them to see if they can pick up on any vibes from her that would indicate interest.\\nYou might ask them for advice as well on how to talk to her and ask her out.\\n1-3. Show your interest.\\nShe might not be showing interest in you because you have not shown any in her. As you are gauging her interest in you, you should be progressively and subtly showing interest in her. Pay attention to her when she’s talking and always say ‘hello’ when you see her and greet her with a smile.\\n1-4. Determine her relationship status.\\nBefore you consider pursuing any woman, you should determine her relationship status. Perhaps the woman you are interested in is a friend or someone you know. If she is in a relationship, it is probably not best to ask her out, as this could be seen as being disrespectful. If you don’t know the girl well, however, see if you can ask around about her to determine if she’s dating someone.\\nSocial media can be helpful in this area, as well. Facebook has a relationship option so that you can indicate whether or not you are dating someone. She might also post about her significant other, if she has one, on other social media sites.\\n1-5. Learn her views on the LGBT community.\\nAsk her what she thinks about gay rights, homophobia, etc. If she acts disgusted or uncomfortable by the idea or experience, try to listen to her reasons and consider sharing your opinions about the matter. At this point, if her responses are negative, you should strongly consider not asking her out as she will likely not be open to the idea.\\nThough not all women are gay or bi, there are many women out there for you. Don’t get caught up on one who is disinterested.\\nTake care of yourself, as well. If she is making very harsh or insensitive comments about the gay community, know that it is okay to remove yourself from the conversation.\\n1-6. Learn if she is bisexual, lesbian or has a romantic preference to women.\\nJust because she doesn't have anything against LGBT people doesn't always mean that she's LGBT herself. See if you can find out from mutual friends if she is interested in women. You might also be able to tell from her social media posts if you have access to her page.\\nYou could also approach her and ask something like “are you here with your boyfriend?” If she is not in a relationship or is not heterosexual, she might disclose both to you.\\n2. Flirting With Her\\n2-1. Make eye contact.\\nDirect eye contact indicates interest in what the other person is saying and showcases that you care and are listening. Eye contact can also indicate desire for or interest in another person, particularly if you smile while looking at them. Always maintain eye contact with your love interest.\\nDon’t stare for too long, however. This might be offputting to her.\\n2-2. Touch her occasionally.\\nWhen the two of you are speaking, find ways to reach out and touch her slightly. Don’t do anything overt or intense, but instead place your hand on her shoulder for a few seconds. Also, if she has something on her face like an eyelash, you can offer to get it off, but always ask first.\\n2-3. Be confident.\\nWomen, and people in general, respond positively to those who are confident. Don’t approach her stammering over your words or twiddling your fingers. Instead, stroll up cooly and calmly and then proceed to talk to her.\\nTake a few deep breaths to calm down before you approach her if you are nervous.\\nPractice your approach in the mirror.\\n2-4. Make her laugh.\\nOne of the easiest ways to talk to any woman is by making her laugh. Most people enjoy a good joke or a humorous person, so try a few funny stories on her or come up with something funny in the moment to get her attention. \\nYou might make fun of something like the cafeteria lunch or make a joke about something funny a coworker did to make her laugh.\\n2-5. Compliment her.\\nWomen also tend to respond positively to being complimented. Find something about her that you like in particular and compliment her on it. While it is nice to receive compliments on your physical appearance, it can also be nice to be complimented on aspects of your character or your work.\\nYou might say something like “I noticed some of your artwork the other day and it’s phenomenal!”\\n2-6. Get to know her.\\nAs you begin the process of flirting with her, make sure you are also working to actively get to know her, as well. Ask her questions about herself and her life to begin developing a bigger picture of who she is as a person.\\nMake sure you don’t ask questions that are too personal if you don’t know her well, however.\\nMaybe ask things like what she does for fun or her favorite book or movie.\\nThis will also help you determine whether or not you officially want to ask her out.\\n3. Asking Her Out\\n3-1. Ask for her number.\\nBefore you ask her out, you will want to have a way to contact her first. If you don’t already have her number, ask her if you could have it so you can call or text her sometime. If you don’t see her often in person, you could reach out to her via social media to ask.\\nYou might say something like “I wanted to know if maybe we could talk or text sometime? If so, I’d like to have your number.”\\n3-2. Ask in person.\\nIf possible, make sure you ask her on a date in person. This will typically be received better, will be taken more seriously, and is more romantic than asking via phone or text. Try to identify a time when the two of you can be alone and ask her at that time.\\nYou could even text her something like “hey, are you gonna be around at 1PM today? I have something to ask you.”\\n3-3. Accept the outcome.\\nHer response to you may be positive or it may be negative. Either way, you should work to accept the outcome. If she accepts your offer to take her out, then great! Work on planning a nice date for her. However, if she states that she is not interested, that is okay, too. Move forward and consider other options.\\nRespect her privacy. She may be LGBT but not want others to know. If she communicates this to you, do not out her. Allow her to do that on her own terms.\\n3-4. Be direct.\\nAvoid statements like “wanna hangout?” This could be construed by her as a completely friendly invitation to hangout in a non-romantic way. If you have intentions to date her, then you will need to be much more clear with her.\\nSay something like “I was wondering if I could take you on a date this weekend to a new restaurant downtown.”\\n3-5. Plan a thoughtful and fun date.\\nIf she does accept your offer to take her on a date, you should now begin planning or finalizing your plans on where you will take her. It is nice when you do all of the primary planning for the date but find a way to include her interests and likes, as well.\\nAsk her if she has any dietary restrictions so that you know what kind of restaurants to take her to or to stay away from.\\nIf you pick dinner, allow her to pick the movies.\\nTips\\nTry buying her coffee/tea. Ask her what her favorite is and then buy it for her.\\nTry to keep conversations lighthearted until the right time. Until then, be sensitive, sweet, and caring. Try to have a good sense of humor. If she laughs and replies with her own joke, that is when you know that she can be herself around you.\\nBe there for her when she needs you.\\nWarnings\\nDo not change yourself for her.\\nIf she's straight, don't try to change her. Nothing good can come from this.\\nIf you are a lesbian or bisexual girl and she strongly has an opinion against LGBT people, it's probably not best to spend too much time around her. The result may be hurt feelings and/or being victim of a stereotype.\\nIf she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. Don't dwell on it and pester her until she says yes, because more than likely you're reducing your chances.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you are a woman and a member of the LGBT community, asking another woman out might be a bit intimidating for you. Though the fear of rejection is real, the prospects of a beautiful relationship should be all the more important.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gauging Her Interest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Notice her body language.\", \"描述\": \"Oftentimes, a woman’s interest level is very obvious if you pay attention to her body language. Many women will touch you slightly or lean into you as you speak if they are interested. You might also catch her glancing at you from across the room and making eye contact with you at times when you are not even speaking. These signs could mean that she likes you.\\nIf you know her to be a shy person, however, or see that she is reserved around others, then perhaps gauging her body language is not the best indicator of interest.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to mutual friends.\", \"描述\": \"Your mutual friends, if you have them, will also be able to give you great insights on how to ask her out and especially in gauging her interest in you. If they ever have the chance to be around the both of you simultaneously, ask them to see if they can pick up on any vibes from her that would indicate interest.\\nYou might ask them for advice as well on how to talk to her and ask her out.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show your interest.\", \"描述\": \"She might not be showing interest in you because you have not shown any in her. As you are gauging her interest in you, you should be progressively and subtly showing interest in her. Pay attention to her when she’s talking and always say ‘hello’ when you see her and greet her with a smile.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Determine her relationship status.\", \"描述\": \"Before you consider pursuing any woman, you should determine her relationship status. Perhaps the woman you are interested in is a friend or someone you know. If she is in a relationship, it is probably not best to ask her out, as this could be seen as being disrespectful. If you don’t know the girl well, however, see if you can ask around about her to determine if she’s dating someone.\\nSocial media can be helpful in this area, as well. Facebook has a relationship option so that you can indicate whether or not you are dating someone. She might also post about her significant other, if she has one, on other social media sites.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Learn her views on the LGBT community.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her what she thinks about gay rights, homophobia, etc. If she acts disgusted or uncomfortable by the idea or experience, try to listen to her reasons and consider sharing your opinions about the matter. At this point, if her responses are negative, you should strongly consider not asking her out as she will likely not be open to the idea.\\nThough not all women are gay or bi, there are many women out there for you. Don’t get caught up on one who is disinterested.\\nTake care of yourself, as well. If she is making very harsh or insensitive comments about the gay community, know that it is okay to remove yourself from the conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn if she is bisexual, lesbian or has a romantic preference to women.\", \"描述\": \"Just because she doesn't have anything against LGBT people doesn't always mean that she's LGBT herself. See if you can find out from mutual friends if she is interested in women. You might also be able to tell from her social media posts if you have access to her page.\\nYou could also approach her and ask something like “are you here with your boyfriend?” If she is not in a relationship or is not heterosexual, she might disclose both to you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirting With Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Direct eye contact indicates interest in what the other person is saying and showcases that you care and are listening. Eye contact can also indicate desire for or interest in another person, particularly if you smile while looking at them. Always maintain eye contact with your love interest.\\nDon’t stare for too long, however. This might be offputting to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Touch her occasionally.\", \"描述\": \"When the two of you are speaking, find ways to reach out and touch her slightly. Don’t do anything overt or intense, but instead place your hand on her shoulder for a few seconds. Also, if she has something on her face like an eyelash, you can offer to get it off, but always ask first.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"Women, and people in general, respond positively to those who are confident. Don’t approach her stammering over your words or twiddling your fingers. Instead, stroll up cooly and calmly and then proceed to talk to her.\\nTake a few deep breaths to calm down before you approach her if you are nervous.\\nPractice your approach in the mirror.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make her laugh.\", \"描述\": \"One of the easiest ways to talk to any woman is by making her laugh. Most people enjoy a good joke or a humorous person, so try a few funny stories on her or come up with something funny in the moment to get her attention. \\nYou might make fun of something like the cafeteria lunch or make a joke about something funny a coworker did to make her laugh.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"Women also tend to respond positively to being complimented. Find something about her that you like in particular and compliment her on it. While it is nice to receive compliments on your physical appearance, it can also be nice to be complimented on aspects of your character or your work.\\nYou might say something like “I noticed some of your artwork the other day and it’s phenomenal!”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get to know her.\", \"描述\": \"As you begin the process of flirting with her, make sure you are also working to actively get to know her, as well. Ask her questions about herself and her life to begin developing a bigger picture of who she is as a person.\\nMake sure you don’t ask questions that are too personal if you don’t know her well, however.\\nMaybe ask things like what she does for fun or her favorite book or movie.\\nThis will also help you determine whether or not you officially want to ask her out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask for her number.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask her out, you will want to have a way to contact her first. If you don’t already have her number, ask her if you could have it so you can call or text her sometime. If you don’t see her often in person, you could reach out to her via social media to ask.\\nYou might say something like “I wanted to know if maybe we could talk or text sometime? If so, I’d like to have your number.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask in person.\", \"描述\": \"If possible, make sure you ask her on a date in person. This will typically be received better, will be taken more seriously, and is more romantic than asking via phone or text. Try to identify a time when the two of you can be alone and ask her at that time.\\nYou could even text her something like “hey, are you gonna be around at 1PM today? I have something to ask you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept the outcome.\", \"描述\": \"Her response to you may be positive or it may be negative. Either way, you should work to accept the outcome. If she accepts your offer to take her out, then great! Work on planning a nice date for her. However, if she states that she is not interested, that is okay, too. Move forward and consider other options.\\nRespect her privacy. She may be LGBT but not want others to know. If she communicates this to you, do not out her. Allow her to do that on her own terms.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be direct.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid statements like “wanna hangout?” This could be construed by her as a completely friendly invitation to hangout in a non-romantic way. If you have intentions to date her, then you will need to be much more clear with her.\\nSay something like “I was wondering if I could take you on a date this weekend to a new restaurant downtown.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Plan a thoughtful and fun date.\", \"描述\": \"If she does accept your offer to take her on a date, you should now begin planning or finalizing your plans on where you will take her. It is nice when you do all of the primary planning for the date but find a way to include her interests and likes, as well.\\nAsk her if she has any dietary restrictions so that you know what kind of restaurants to take her to or to stay away from.\\nIf you pick dinner, allow her to pick the movies.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try buying her coffee/tea. Ask her what her favorite is and then buy it for her.\\n\", \"Try to keep conversations lighthearted until the right time. Until then, be sensitive, sweet, and caring. Try to have a good sense of humor. If she laughs and replies with her own joke, that is when you know that she can be herself around you.\\n\", \"Be there for her when she needs you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not change yourself for her.\\n\", \"If she's straight, don't try to change her. Nothing good can come from this.\\n\", \"If you are a lesbian or bisexual girl and she strongly has an opinion against LGBT people, it's probably not best to spend too much time around her. The result may be hurt feelings and/or being victim of a stereotype.\\n\", \"If she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, she doesn't want to be your girlfriend. Don't dwell on it and pester her until she says yes, because more than likely you're reducing your chances.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,555 | How to Ask a Girl out in High School if You Are Shy and She Does Not Know You | 1. Approaching Her
1-1. Find an appropriate time to strike up a conversation.
If she's cramming for a test before the bell rings or having an intense conversation with a friend, it's probably best to wait. Find a time when she's alone and doesn't look like she's in a rush to get anywhere, such as in the cafeteria or after school lets out.
If she's constantly surrounded by friends, don't be afraid to say, “Can I talk to you for a second?”
See if you have any common interests. Is she apart of the debate team? You could try it out too as a built-in way to meet her. If there are breaks or club outings, you could try to strike up a conversation during those times.
1-2. Avoid awkwardness by preparing an opener.
Don't spout off a cheesy pick-up line the second you're face-to-face, but have a general idea about what you're going to say. This can be as general as a question about her day, or you can cut right to the chase and tell her you're interested. Either way, it's great to have an idea going into the conversation so that you aren't faced with awkward silence.
You could say something like, "Hi [name]! Happy it's almost Friday?" If you see her holding a specific textbook or going into a classroom, you could ask her about that. "Hey [name], you have history with Mr. Smith? I heard he's great, do you like him?"
A general rule of thumb is to talk to her as if you already know her. This doesn't mean you should act like you're best friends, but don't act like you're talking to your teacher or principal. Say something like, "Hey [her name], how's your week going so far?" rather than, "Hello [name], how are you today?"
1-3. Be confident
Even if you've planned out a perfect opener and have a great idea about what you want to talk to her about, you need to also convey confidence with your body language. Keep your head up, and make eye contact with her. Make sure you're standing up straight, and take a wide stance so that you look secure in your space. Take care not to wring your hands or nervously fiddle with your clothes or backpack.
If you feel nervous, that's perfectly normal. The trick is simply not letting it show. It sounds silly, but practice your stance in the mirror before you approach her. Make sure you notice your nervous habits, and work on correcting them.
You could also try making a practice video with your phone to hear how you will sound when speaking to her. Take note of any times you looked or sounded nervous & practice again until you are comfortable. Delete the videos when you're done if you want to.
1-4. Pay attention to her social cues.
If you thought she was free when you grabbed her to talk but you see her checking her watch or angling her body to the closest exit, she probably has somewhere to be. That's OK, though, because you don't need to talk to her for hours to ask her out. Try saying something like, “I'm sure you have somewhere you need to be and I won't hold you up, but I wanted to see if you're free this weekend to grab dinner.”
This is short, sweet, and straight to the point. You asked her out while at the same time showing her that you respect her time.
If she seems uncomfortable or in a rush, respect that. Don't ruin your chances with her by forcing a conversation when she can't talk.
2. Using Flattery and Common Interests
2-1. Compliment her.
If you don't know her well (or at all), be brave and tell her why you approached her. If you think she is really well spoken in English class, tell her that. If you think she's really beautiful and you'd love to get to know her personality, tell her that. “Playing it cool” can work sometimes, but if you don't know her at all, you should lay your cards on the table.
A good, respectful compliment is almost always appreciated. This will help her see you in a positive light right off the bat.
Be genuine with your compliments. Don't just give her the compliments you think most girls would want to hear. What do you truly, genuinely like about her? If it's welcoming smile, tell her that. If it's her confidence, tell her that. If she can tell that your compliment is coming from your heart, it will mean much more.
2-2. Find common ground.
Whether it's one class you share, the neighborhood you live in, or a mutual friend, use it to strike up a conversation. If you can't think of anything specific that you have in conversation, you can even comment on the weather! Any shared experiences are helpful to get the conversation rolling, and to help make her feel more relaxed.
If you truly cannot think of some similarity, that's fine. You can always ask her a question about something she is interested in that you're not familiar with.
2-3. Be authentic
The overused cliché to “be yourself” is so important in this situation. If the girl can tell you are being genuine and putting yourself out there, she will be much more likely to reciprocate. If she thinks you're trying to play a part or act like a person you aren't, she will have her guard up too.
Not only does this make you look endearing, but it also saves you time! What's the point of going out with a girl who doesn't like your true personality? You can't act like someone you are not for very long.
2-4. Make a connection.
If you don't have much in common or any overlap with your social activities or circles, create common ground. Try talking about an upcoming school event, like school play, a party, a sporting event, or anything you think she might be interested in. You could also talk about something in the news. The important thing is to find something, anything, to connect on, so that she can walk away from the conversation with a specific memory.
Asking her how she is and saying you're looking forward to the weekend is fine, but connecting on a specific topic will add much more substance to the conversation.
3. Asking Her Out
3-1. Invite her to something specific.
“Do you want to hang out sometime?” is much different than, “Would you like to see a movie on Friday night?” If you are vague with your invitation, she can be vague with her answer. Instead, give her a specific event that you'd like to take her to, and she can give you a concrete answer.
Not only will this help “set things in stone,” but it will also show her that you took the time to plan ahead and decide on a great date for her.
3-2. Find a time that works for her.
If you give her a specific time and she is already busy, ask her if another time works for her. This will show her that you're flexible, and also that you're very enthusiastic about the idea of taking her out. Don't give up if your original plan doesn't work with her schedule– let her pick a time that works for her.
If she says she needs to check her schedule or get back to you, let her do just that. You can simply end the conversation by saying, “I'd really love to take you out, so please let me know when you're available!” You've done everything you can do, and the ball is in her court.
3-3. Keep things casual.
You are not proposing marriage, and your life doesn't hang in the balance. You are simply asking her if she would like to get to know you better. If she says no, that is okay. You can always leave it open and get to know her better as friend. If you two become friends first, she may be more comfortable going on a date with you. Or you could move on, and find another lucky lady to ask out. If she says yes, fantastic! Take her on a date and see if you connect. Just remember, you will survive no matter what happens.
If you are nervous, sweating bullets, and acting like this is the most serious thing you've ever done, she will probably be a little intimidated. Keep the mood light and cheery, and she will feel much more at ease around you.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching Her\\n1-1. Find an appropriate time to strike up a conversation.\\nIf she's cramming for a test before the bell rings or having an intense conversation with a friend, it's probably best to wait. Find a time when she's alone and doesn't look like she's in a rush to get anywhere, such as in the cafeteria or after school lets out.\\nIf she's constantly surrounded by friends, don't be afraid to say, “Can I talk to you for a second?”\\nSee if you have any common interests. Is she apart of the debate team? You could try it out too as a built-in way to meet her. If there are breaks or club outings, you could try to strike up a conversation during those times.\\n1-2. Avoid awkwardness by preparing an opener.\\nDon't spout off a cheesy pick-up line the second you're face-to-face, but have a general idea about what you're going to say. This can be as general as a question about her day, or you can cut right to the chase and tell her you're interested. Either way, it's great to have an idea going into the conversation so that you aren't faced with awkward silence.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"Hi [name]! Happy it's almost Friday?\\\" If you see her holding a specific textbook or going into a classroom, you could ask her about that. \\\"Hey [name], you have history with Mr. Smith? I heard he's great, do you like him?\\\"\\nA general rule of thumb is to talk to her as if you already know her. This doesn't mean you should act like you're best friends, but don't act like you're talking to your teacher or principal. Say something like, \\\"Hey [her name], how's your week going so far?\\\" rather than, \\\"Hello [name], how are you today?\\\"\\n1-3. Be confident\\nEven if you've planned out a perfect opener and have a great idea about what you want to talk to her about, you need to also convey confidence with your body language. Keep your head up, and make eye contact with her. Make sure you're standing up straight, and take a wide stance so that you look secure in your space. Take care not to wring your hands or nervously fiddle with your clothes or backpack.\\nIf you feel nervous, that's perfectly normal. The trick is simply not letting it show. It sounds silly, but practice your stance in the mirror before you approach her. Make sure you notice your nervous habits, and work on correcting them.\\nYou could also try making a practice video with your phone to hear how you will sound when speaking to her. Take note of any times you looked or sounded nervous & practice again until you are comfortable. Delete the videos when you're done if you want to.\\n1-4. Pay attention to her social cues.\\nIf you thought she was free when you grabbed her to talk but you see her checking her watch or angling her body to the closest exit, she probably has somewhere to be. That's OK, though, because you don't need to talk to her for hours to ask her out. Try saying something like, “I'm sure you have somewhere you need to be and I won't hold you up, but I wanted to see if you're free this weekend to grab dinner.”\\nThis is short, sweet, and straight to the point. You asked her out while at the same time showing her that you respect her time.\\nIf she seems uncomfortable or in a rush, respect that. Don't ruin your chances with her by forcing a conversation when she can't talk.\\n2. Using Flattery and Common Interests\\n2-1. Compliment her.\\nIf you don't know her well (or at all), be brave and tell her why you approached her. If you think she is really well spoken in English class, tell her that. If you think she's really beautiful and you'd love to get to know her personality, tell her that. “Playing it cool” can work sometimes, but if you don't know her at all, you should lay your cards on the table.\\nA good, respectful compliment is almost always appreciated. This will help her see you in a positive light right off the bat.\\nBe genuine with your compliments. Don't just give her the compliments you think most girls would want to hear. What do you truly, genuinely like about her? If it's welcoming smile, tell her that. If it's her confidence, tell her that. If she can tell that your compliment is coming from your heart, it will mean much more.\\n2-2. Find common ground.\\nWhether it's one class you share, the neighborhood you live in, or a mutual friend, use it to strike up a conversation. If you can't think of anything specific that you have in conversation, you can even comment on the weather! Any shared experiences are helpful to get the conversation rolling, and to help make her feel more relaxed.\\nIf you truly cannot think of some similarity, that's fine. You can always ask her a question about something she is interested in that you're not familiar with.\\n2-3. Be authentic\\nThe overused cliché to “be yourself” is so important in this situation. If the girl can tell you are being genuine and putting yourself out there, she will be much more likely to reciprocate. If she thinks you're trying to play a part or act like a person you aren't, she will have her guard up too.\\nNot only does this make you look endearing, but it also saves you time! What's the point of going out with a girl who doesn't like your true personality? You can't act like someone you are not for very long.\\n2-4. Make a connection.\\nIf you don't have much in common or any overlap with your social activities or circles, create common ground. Try talking about an upcoming school event, like school play, a party, a sporting event, or anything you think she might be interested in. You could also talk about something in the news. The important thing is to find something, anything, to connect on, so that she can walk away from the conversation with a specific memory. \\nAsking her how she is and saying you're looking forward to the weekend is fine, but connecting on a specific topic will add much more substance to the conversation.\\n3. Asking Her Out\\n3-1. Invite her to something specific.\\n“Do you want to hang out sometime?” is much different than, “Would you like to see a movie on Friday night?” If you are vague with your invitation, she can be vague with her answer. Instead, give her a specific event that you'd like to take her to, and she can give you a concrete answer.\\nNot only will this help “set things in stone,” but it will also show her that you took the time to plan ahead and decide on a great date for her.\\n3-2. Find a time that works for her.\\nIf you give her a specific time and she is already busy, ask her if another time works for her. This will show her that you're flexible, and also that you're very enthusiastic about the idea of taking her out. Don't give up if your original plan doesn't work with her schedule– let her pick a time that works for her.\\nIf she says she needs to check her schedule or get back to you, let her do just that. You can simply end the conversation by saying, “I'd really love to take you out, so please let me know when you're available!” You've done everything you can do, and the ball is in her court.\\n3-3. Keep things casual.\\nYou are not proposing marriage, and your life doesn't hang in the balance. You are simply asking her if she would like to get to know you better. If she says no, that is okay. You can always leave it open and get to know her better as friend. If you two become friends first, she may be more comfortable going on a date with you. Or you could move on, and find another lucky lady to ask out. If she says yes, fantastic! Take her on a date and see if you connect. Just remember, you will survive no matter what happens.\\nIf you are nervous, sweating bullets, and acting like this is the most serious thing you've ever done, she will probably be a little intimidated. Keep the mood light and cheery, and she will feel much more at ease around you.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a girl out can be nerve-wracking experience. It can be even scarier if you're shy. It can be truly terrifying if she doesn't know you exist! If you're interested in a girl from afar, don't assume she'll reject you. Instead, approach her in a friendly way, get the ball rolling, and ask her out! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find an appropriate time to strike up a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"If she's cramming for a test before the bell rings or having an intense conversation with a friend, it's probably best to wait. Find a time when she's alone and doesn't look like she's in a rush to get anywhere, such as in the cafeteria or after school lets out.\\nIf she's constantly surrounded by friends, don't be afraid to say, “Can I talk to you for a second?”\\nSee if you have any common interests. Is she apart of the debate team? You could try it out too as a built-in way to meet her. If there are breaks or club outings, you could try to strike up a conversation during those times.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid awkwardness by preparing an opener.\", \"描述\": \"Don't spout off a cheesy pick-up line the second you're face-to-face, but have a general idea about what you're going to say. This can be as general as a question about her day, or you can cut right to the chase and tell her you're interested. Either way, it's great to have an idea going into the conversation so that you aren't faced with awkward silence.\\nYou could say something like, \\\"Hi [name]! Happy it's almost Friday?\\\" If you see her holding a specific textbook or going into a classroom, you could ask her about that. \\\"Hey [name], you have history with Mr. Smith? I heard he's great, do you like him?\\\"\\nA general rule of thumb is to talk to her as if you already know her. This doesn't mean you should act like you're best friends, but don't act like you're talking to your teacher or principal. Say something like, \\\"Hey [her name], how's your week going so far?\\\" rather than, \\\"Hello [name], how are you today?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"Even if you've planned out a perfect opener and have a great idea about what you want to talk to her about, you need to also convey confidence with your body language. Keep your head up, and make eye contact with her. Make sure you're standing up straight, and take a wide stance so that you look secure in your space. Take care not to wring your hands or nervously fiddle with your clothes or backpack.\\nIf you feel nervous, that's perfectly normal. The trick is simply not letting it show. It sounds silly, but practice your stance in the mirror before you approach her. Make sure you notice your nervous habits, and work on correcting them.\\nYou could also try making a practice video with your phone to hear how you will sound when speaking to her. Take note of any times you looked or sounded nervous & practice again until you are comfortable. Delete the videos when you're done if you want to.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to her social cues.\", \"描述\": \"If you thought she was free when you grabbed her to talk but you see her checking her watch or angling her body to the closest exit, she probably has somewhere to be. That's OK, though, because you don't need to talk to her for hours to ask her out. Try saying something like, “I'm sure you have somewhere you need to be and I won't hold you up, but I wanted to see if you're free this weekend to grab dinner.”\\nThis is short, sweet, and straight to the point. You asked her out while at the same time showing her that you respect her time.\\nIf she seems uncomfortable or in a rush, respect that. Don't ruin your chances with her by forcing a conversation when she can't talk.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Using Flattery and Common Interests\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Compliment her.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't know her well (or at all), be brave and tell her why you approached her. If you think she is really well spoken in English class, tell her that. If you think she's really beautiful and you'd love to get to know her personality, tell her that. “Playing it cool” can work sometimes, but if you don't know her at all, you should lay your cards on the table.\\nA good, respectful compliment is almost always appreciated. This will help her see you in a positive light right off the bat.\\nBe genuine with your compliments. Don't just give her the compliments you think most girls would want to hear. What do you truly, genuinely like about her? If it's welcoming smile, tell her that. If it's her confidence, tell her that. If she can tell that your compliment is coming from your heart, it will mean much more.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find common ground.\", \"描述\": \"Whether it's one class you share, the neighborhood you live in, or a mutual friend, use it to strike up a conversation. If you can't think of anything specific that you have in conversation, you can even comment on the weather! Any shared experiences are helpful to get the conversation rolling, and to help make her feel more relaxed.\\nIf you truly cannot think of some similarity, that's fine. You can always ask her a question about something she is interested in that you're not familiar with.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be authentic\", \"描述\": \"The overused cliché to “be yourself” is so important in this situation. If the girl can tell you are being genuine and putting yourself out there, she will be much more likely to reciprocate. If she thinks you're trying to play a part or act like a person you aren't, she will have her guard up too.\\nNot only does this make you look endearing, but it also saves you time! What's the point of going out with a girl who doesn't like your true personality? You can't act like someone you are not for very long.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make a connection.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't have much in common or any overlap with your social activities or circles, create common ground. Try talking about an upcoming school event, like school play, a party, a sporting event, or anything you think she might be interested in. You could also talk about something in the news. The important thing is to find something, anything, to connect on, so that she can walk away from the conversation with a specific memory. \\nAsking her how she is and saying you're looking forward to the weekend is fine, but connecting on a specific topic will add much more substance to the conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite her to something specific.\", \"描述\": \"“Do you want to hang out sometime?” is much different than, “Would you like to see a movie on Friday night?” If you are vague with your invitation, she can be vague with her answer. Instead, give her a specific event that you'd like to take her to, and she can give you a concrete answer.\\nNot only will this help “set things in stone,” but it will also show her that you took the time to plan ahead and decide on a great date for her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a time that works for her.\", \"描述\": \"If you give her a specific time and she is already busy, ask her if another time works for her. This will show her that you're flexible, and also that you're very enthusiastic about the idea of taking her out. Don't give up if your original plan doesn't work with her schedule– let her pick a time that works for her.\\nIf she says she needs to check her schedule or get back to you, let her do just that. You can simply end the conversation by saying, “I'd really love to take you out, so please let me know when you're available!” You've done everything you can do, and the ball is in her court.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep things casual.\", \"描述\": \"You are not proposing marriage, and your life doesn't hang in the balance. You are simply asking her if she would like to get to know you better. If she says no, that is okay. You can always leave it open and get to know her better as friend. If you two become friends first, she may be more comfortable going on a date with you. Or you could move on, and find another lucky lady to ask out. If she says yes, fantastic! Take her on a date and see if you connect. Just remember, you will survive no matter what happens.\\nIf you are nervous, sweating bullets, and acting like this is the most serious thing you've ever done, she will probably be a little intimidated. Keep the mood light and cheery, and she will feel much more at ease around you.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,556 | How to Ask a Girl out on a Date | 1. Asking out a Friend or Acquaintance
1-1. Have an idea of where and when you want your date to be.
Don't just tell her you'd like to "hang out sometime." Ask her directly and include specifics. Have backup ideas in case she doesn't like a certain type of food or is too busy on a certain date.
If she shoots down multiple invitations without suggesting alternatives, she is probably not interested. Many women have a hard time directly saying "no" to a date or may be trying to spare your feelings.
Dinner at a not-too-fancy restaurant is a good choice for a first date.
1-2. Ask her in person.
While it may be tempting to ask her out via phone, text, or the Internet, doing so will block vital nonverbal communication. These indirect approaches can lead to miscommunication that may ruin your chances at a romantic relationship. Instead, simply ask her the next time you see her.
When you get a private moment, ask her by saying something like this: "I was wondering if you were free this Friday night? I'd like to get together just the two of us and check out [restaurant]. Are you interested?"
If you rarely see her, then asking her out through a call or message may be necessary. A sample message you can send would be: "Hey! This is [your name] from [where you know her, like a particular class]. You seem like a really cool person, and I'd like to get to know you better. I was wondering if you'd like to go to [restaurant] this Friday at around 6:00 pm?"
1-3. Go to a mutual friend for help.
If you're still struggling to ask her, try asking a mutual friend of yours for some help. Your friend may have some tips or insights about what she likes. Your friend may also be willing to help "set you up" or in some other way help you to ask her out. Even though a mutual friend may make things easier, do not expect your friend to ask her for you.
To broach the subject, try saying something like this to your friend: "Hey, you know [girl's name]? I kind of want to ask her out. Has she said anything about me? Do you think she'd be interested?"
1-4. Make your intentions clear.
You don't have to explicitly tell her "this is a date," but don't disguise your feelings. If she asks about it being a "date-date" or your attraction to her, be honest. Trying to "play it cool" by pretending to not be romantically interested in her will probably backfire.
2. Asking out a Stranger
2-1. Avoid doing anything that makes her feel pressured or unsafe.
Don't approach a girl walking alone on a deserted street at night. Likewise, don't ask a girl out if she is somehow "trapped" with you in a location, such as elevator or cornered in a room. A good way to make her feel safe is to talk to her with other people nearby and visible.
Don't make any kind of physical contact unless she does so first. A quick way to make her feel threatened is to invade her personal space.
2-2. Introduce yourself politely.
Try making eye contact before greeting her. Tell her your name and give her a non-vulgar compliment. If she responds in kind with her name and a reciprocal compliment or expression of gratitude, mention wanting to get to know her.
Something you could start with would be: "Hey, I really like your shirt. [Whatever is on the shirt] is great!" Then wait for her response. Follow up with: "My name is [your name], by the way."
If she ignores your greeting, it's best to back off.
If she seems receptive and neither of you are in a hurry, feel free to have a longer conversation.
2-3. Give her your contact information.
While most guys think they're "supposed" to ask a girl for her phone number, it's best to offer yours first. This takes a lot of pressure off of her and may make her more open minded about your offer. Write it down on a scrap of paper instead of insisting she record it in her phone. which can be seen as creepy and manipulative.
If she's interested, she will likely volunteer her phone number or email without you needing to ask.
An example of something to say when offering her your contact information would be: "So it was great meeting you, but I need to get going. I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to get to know you better. If you feel the same, here's my number."
2-4. Call, text, or email her the next day to set up a date.
If she's given you her contact information, don't play mind games or expect her to make the first move. Ask her to dinner at a specific restaurant with an idea of the day and time. Have a few backup options in case she is genuinely busy or averse to a certain food choice.
An example of what to write or say would be: "Hey this is [your name] from yesterday at [location you met]. I was wondering if you'd be free Friday night around 7:00? There's this [type of food] restaurant called [restaurant] I've been meaning to try, and I was hoping you might be interested in joining me? If you'd rather go somewhere else or you're busy, let me know what would work better for you. Thanks! I look forward to seeing you again soon."
If she doesn't return that first call or shoots down multiple offers without suggesting alternatives, she may not be interested in dating. Even if she seemed into you before, people can always change their minds. Respect her decision and move on.
2-5. Remember that the worst thing that can happen is that she says "no."
That may sound like a cliché, but it's an important fact to keep in mind when asking out a girl you don't know. Striking out with someone you have an established relationship with can inject some awkward moments into your life for some time. An advantage of asking out that cute girl you just met at a coffee shop is the lack of outside social pressure. Keep this in mind to boost your confidence.
3. Understanding Body Language
3-1. Pay at least as much attention to what she's doing as what she's saying.
Properly reading body language is vital to asking a girl out, whether she's a stranger or a friend. This will help you to gauge whether she's interested before you even start talking.
While researchers disagree about exactly how much body language plays a role in human communication, most agree that it is significant.
3-2. Look at her eyes.
Keep your eyes on her face and see if she returns her gaze. If she won't look you in the eye for very long or is constantly looking elsewhere, there is a good chance that she is not interested in a date.
Remember that there are a few reasons why she may not keep eye contact even if she's romantically interested in you. She may have vision problems, social anxiety, autism spectrum disorder, or some other condition that may make nonverbal communication difficult.
3-3. Check her posture.
If she is interested in you, she will likely face in your direction while keeping her arms open and unfolded.
Signs that she's disinterested include crossed arms and a hunched posture.
Keep context in mind. If it's a cold day, don't assume that a girl crossing her arms is communicating disinterest. Likewise, if you're standing in the only exit of a room, don't mistake her facing in that direction as a sign of interest in you.
Tips
The most important thing you can do is to simply be confident and straightforward when asking her out.[11]
X
Research source
Don't let an additional friend or two tag along on your date. This would quickly change the dynamic from "first date" to "just another friendly get-together." If she asks about bringing someone else, emphasize that you want to hang out as just the two of you. If she insists, then there's a good chance that she doesn't want the occasion to be a "date." There will be plenty of time to hang out with friends as a couple further along in your relationship. She may ask something like: "Would it be ok if [friend's name] tags along?" Respond with: "I really want to hang out with just you that night."
If a girl seems busy or in a rush, it isn't an appropriate time to ask her on a date.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking out a Friend or Acquaintance\\n1-1. Have an idea of where and when you want your date to be.\\nDon't just tell her you'd like to \\\"hang out sometime.\\\" Ask her directly and include specifics. Have backup ideas in case she doesn't like a certain type of food or is too busy on a certain date.\\nIf she shoots down multiple invitations without suggesting alternatives, she is probably not interested. Many women have a hard time directly saying \\\"no\\\" to a date or may be trying to spare your feelings.\\nDinner at a not-too-fancy restaurant is a good choice for a first date.\\n1-2. Ask her in person.\\nWhile it may be tempting to ask her out via phone, text, or the Internet, doing so will block vital nonverbal communication. These indirect approaches can lead to miscommunication that may ruin your chances at a romantic relationship. Instead, simply ask her the next time you see her.\\nWhen you get a private moment, ask her by saying something like this: \\\"I was wondering if you were free this Friday night? I'd like to get together just the two of us and check out [restaurant]. Are you interested?\\\"\\nIf you rarely see her, then asking her out through a call or message may be necessary. A sample message you can send would be: \\\"Hey! This is [your name] from [where you know her, like a particular class]. You seem like a really cool person, and I'd like to get to know you better. I was wondering if you'd like to go to [restaurant] this Friday at around 6:00 pm?\\\"\\n1-3. Go to a mutual friend for help.\\nIf you're still struggling to ask her, try asking a mutual friend of yours for some help. Your friend may have some tips or insights about what she likes. Your friend may also be willing to help \\\"set you up\\\" or in some other way help you to ask her out. Even though a mutual friend may make things easier, do not expect your friend to ask her for you.\\nTo broach the subject, try saying something like this to your friend: \\\"Hey, you know [girl's name]? I kind of want to ask her out. Has she said anything about me? Do you think she'd be interested?\\\"\\n1-4. Make your intentions clear.\\nYou don't have to explicitly tell her \\\"this is a date,\\\" but don't disguise your feelings. If she asks about it being a \\\"date-date\\\" or your attraction to her, be honest. Trying to \\\"play it cool\\\" by pretending to not be romantically interested in her will probably backfire.\\n2. Asking out a Stranger\\n2-1. Avoid doing anything that makes her feel pressured or unsafe.\\nDon't approach a girl walking alone on a deserted street at night. Likewise, don't ask a girl out if she is somehow \\\"trapped\\\" with you in a location, such as elevator or cornered in a room. A good way to make her feel safe is to talk to her with other people nearby and visible.\\nDon't make any kind of physical contact unless she does so first. A quick way to make her feel threatened is to invade her personal space.\\n2-2. Introduce yourself politely.\\nTry making eye contact before greeting her. Tell her your name and give her a non-vulgar compliment. If she responds in kind with her name and a reciprocal compliment or expression of gratitude, mention wanting to get to know her.\\nSomething you could start with would be: \\\"Hey, I really like your shirt. [Whatever is on the shirt] is great!\\\" Then wait for her response. Follow up with: \\\"My name is [your name], by the way.\\\"\\nIf she ignores your greeting, it's best to back off.\\nIf she seems receptive and neither of you are in a hurry, feel free to have a longer conversation.\\n2-3. Give her your contact information.\\nWhile most guys think they're \\\"supposed\\\" to ask a girl for her phone number, it's best to offer yours first. This takes a lot of pressure off of her and may make her more open minded about your offer. Write it down on a scrap of paper instead of insisting she record it in her phone. which can be seen as creepy and manipulative.\\nIf she's interested, she will likely volunteer her phone number or email without you needing to ask.\\nAn example of something to say when offering her your contact information would be: \\\"So it was great meeting you, but I need to get going. I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to get to know you better. If you feel the same, here's my number.\\\"\\n2-4. Call, text, or email her the next day to set up a date.\\nIf she's given you her contact information, don't play mind games or expect her to make the first move. Ask her to dinner at a specific restaurant with an idea of the day and time. Have a few backup options in case she is genuinely busy or averse to a certain food choice.\\nAn example of what to write or say would be: \\\"Hey this is [your name] from yesterday at [location you met]. I was wondering if you'd be free Friday night around 7:00? There's this [type of food] restaurant called [restaurant] I've been meaning to try, and I was hoping you might be interested in joining me? If you'd rather go somewhere else or you're busy, let me know what would work better for you. Thanks! I look forward to seeing you again soon.\\\"\\nIf she doesn't return that first call or shoots down multiple offers without suggesting alternatives, she may not be interested in dating. Even if she seemed into you before, people can always change their minds. Respect her decision and move on.\\n2-5. Remember that the worst thing that can happen is that she says \\\"no.\\\"\\nThat may sound like a cliché, but it's an important fact to keep in mind when asking out a girl you don't know. Striking out with someone you have an established relationship with can inject some awkward moments into your life for some time. An advantage of asking out that cute girl you just met at a coffee shop is the lack of outside social pressure. Keep this in mind to boost your confidence.\\n3. Understanding Body Language\\n3-1. Pay at least as much attention to what she's doing as what she's saying.\\nProperly reading body language is vital to asking a girl out, whether she's a stranger or a friend. This will help you to gauge whether she's interested before you even start talking.\\nWhile researchers disagree about exactly how much body language plays a role in human communication, most agree that it is significant.\\n3-2. Look at her eyes.\\nKeep your eyes on her face and see if she returns her gaze. If she won't look you in the eye for very long or is constantly looking elsewhere, there is a good chance that she is not interested in a date.\\nRemember that there are a few reasons why she may not keep eye contact even if she's romantically interested in you. She may have vision problems, social anxiety, autism spectrum disorder, or some other condition that may make nonverbal communication difficult.\\n3-3. Check her posture.\\nIf she is interested in you, she will likely face in your direction while keeping her arms open and unfolded.\\nSigns that she's disinterested include crossed arms and a hunched posture.\\nKeep context in mind. If it's a cold day, don't assume that a girl crossing her arms is communicating disinterest. Likewise, if you're standing in the only exit of a room, don't mistake her facing in that direction as a sign of interest in you.\\nTips\\nThe most important thing you can do is to simply be confident and straightforward when asking her out.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nDon't let an additional friend or two tag along on your date. This would quickly change the dynamic from \\\"first date\\\" to \\\"just another friendly get-together.\\\" If she asks about bringing someone else, emphasize that you want to hang out as just the two of you. If she insists, then there's a good chance that she doesn't want the occasion to be a \\\"date.\\\" There will be plenty of time to hang out with friends as a couple further along in your relationship. She may ask something like: \\\"Would it be ok if [friend's name] tags along?\\\" Respond with: \\\"I really want to hang out with just you that night.\\\"\\nIf a girl seems busy or in a rush, it isn't an appropriate time to ask her on a date.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Even though asking a girl out on a date might make you feel nervous, there's nothing to worry about! Though you should treat anyone you want to ask out with respect, you might want to ask her out differently based on whether or not you know her. With a little preparation, though, you can confidently ask a girl out—and then you can move on to the next step, which would be getting ready for the date!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking out a Friend or Acquaintance\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have an idea of where and when you want your date to be.\", \"描述\": \"Don't just tell her you'd like to \\\"hang out sometime.\\\" Ask her directly and include specifics. Have backup ideas in case she doesn't like a certain type of food or is too busy on a certain date.\\nIf she shoots down multiple invitations without suggesting alternatives, she is probably not interested. Many women have a hard time directly saying \\\"no\\\" to a date or may be trying to spare your feelings.\\nDinner at a not-too-fancy restaurant is a good choice for a first date.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her in person.\", \"描述\": \"While it may be tempting to ask her out via phone, text, or the Internet, doing so will block vital nonverbal communication. These indirect approaches can lead to miscommunication that may ruin your chances at a romantic relationship. Instead, simply ask her the next time you see her.\\nWhen you get a private moment, ask her by saying something like this: \\\"I was wondering if you were free this Friday night? I'd like to get together just the two of us and check out [restaurant]. Are you interested?\\\"\\nIf you rarely see her, then asking her out through a call or message may be necessary. A sample message you can send would be: \\\"Hey! This is [your name] from [where you know her, like a particular class]. You seem like a really cool person, and I'd like to get to know you better. I was wondering if you'd like to go to [restaurant] this Friday at around 6:00 pm?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Go to a mutual friend for help.\", \"描述\": \"If you're still struggling to ask her, try asking a mutual friend of yours for some help. Your friend may have some tips or insights about what she likes. Your friend may also be willing to help \\\"set you up\\\" or in some other way help you to ask her out. Even though a mutual friend may make things easier, do not expect your friend to ask her for you.\\nTo broach the subject, try saying something like this to your friend: \\\"Hey, you know [girl's name]? I kind of want to ask her out. Has she said anything about me? Do you think she'd be interested?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make your intentions clear.\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to explicitly tell her \\\"this is a date,\\\" but don't disguise your feelings. If she asks about it being a \\\"date-date\\\" or your attraction to her, be honest. Trying to \\\"play it cool\\\" by pretending to not be romantically interested in her will probably backfire.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking out a Stranger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid doing anything that makes her feel pressured or unsafe.\", \"描述\": \"Don't approach a girl walking alone on a deserted street at night. Likewise, don't ask a girl out if she is somehow \\\"trapped\\\" with you in a location, such as elevator or cornered in a room. A good way to make her feel safe is to talk to her with other people nearby and visible.\\nDon't make any kind of physical contact unless she does so first. A quick way to make her feel threatened is to invade her personal space.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself politely.\", \"描述\": \"Try making eye contact before greeting her. Tell her your name and give her a non-vulgar compliment. If she responds in kind with her name and a reciprocal compliment or expression of gratitude, mention wanting to get to know her.\\nSomething you could start with would be: \\\"Hey, I really like your shirt. [Whatever is on the shirt] is great!\\\" Then wait for her response. Follow up with: \\\"My name is [your name], by the way.\\\"\\nIf she ignores your greeting, it's best to back off.\\nIf she seems receptive and neither of you are in a hurry, feel free to have a longer conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give her your contact information.\", \"描述\": \"While most guys think they're \\\"supposed\\\" to ask a girl for her phone number, it's best to offer yours first. This takes a lot of pressure off of her and may make her more open minded about your offer. Write it down on a scrap of paper instead of insisting she record it in her phone. which can be seen as creepy and manipulative.\\nIf she's interested, she will likely volunteer her phone number or email without you needing to ask.\\nAn example of something to say when offering her your contact information would be: \\\"So it was great meeting you, but I need to get going. I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to get to know you better. If you feel the same, here's my number.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Call, text, or email her the next day to set up a date.\", \"描述\": \"If she's given you her contact information, don't play mind games or expect her to make the first move. Ask her to dinner at a specific restaurant with an idea of the day and time. Have a few backup options in case she is genuinely busy or averse to a certain food choice.\\nAn example of what to write or say would be: \\\"Hey this is [your name] from yesterday at [location you met]. I was wondering if you'd be free Friday night around 7:00? There's this [type of food] restaurant called [restaurant] I've been meaning to try, and I was hoping you might be interested in joining me? If you'd rather go somewhere else or you're busy, let me know what would work better for you. Thanks! I look forward to seeing you again soon.\\\"\\nIf she doesn't return that first call or shoots down multiple offers without suggesting alternatives, she may not be interested in dating. Even if she seemed into you before, people can always change their minds. Respect her decision and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Remember that the worst thing that can happen is that she says \\\"no.\\\"\", \"描述\": \"That may sound like a cliché, but it's an important fact to keep in mind when asking out a girl you don't know. Striking out with someone you have an established relationship with can inject some awkward moments into your life for some time. An advantage of asking out that cute girl you just met at a coffee shop is the lack of outside social pressure. Keep this in mind to boost your confidence.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Understanding Body Language\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay at least as much attention to what she's doing as what she's saying.\", \"描述\": \"Properly reading body language is vital to asking a girl out, whether she's a stranger or a friend. This will help you to gauge whether she's interested before you even start talking.\\nWhile researchers disagree about exactly how much body language plays a role in human communication, most agree that it is significant.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look at her eyes.\", \"描述\": \"Keep your eyes on her face and see if she returns her gaze. If she won't look you in the eye for very long or is constantly looking elsewhere, there is a good chance that she is not interested in a date.\\nRemember that there are a few reasons why she may not keep eye contact even if she's romantically interested in you. She may have vision problems, social anxiety, autism spectrum disorder, or some other condition that may make nonverbal communication difficult.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check her posture.\", \"描述\": \"If she is interested in you, she will likely face in your direction while keeping her arms open and unfolded.\\nSigns that she's disinterested include crossed arms and a hunched posture.\\nKeep context in mind. If it's a cold day, don't assume that a girl crossing her arms is communicating disinterest. Likewise, if you're standing in the only exit of a room, don't mistake her facing in that direction as a sign of interest in you.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"The most important thing you can do is to simply be confident and straightforward when asking her out.[11]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Don't let an additional friend or two tag along on your date. This would quickly change the dynamic from \\\"first date\\\" to \\\"just another friendly get-together.\\\" If she asks about bringing someone else, emphasize that you want to hang out as just the two of you. If she insists, then there's a good chance that she doesn't want the occasion to be a \\\"date.\\\" There will be plenty of time to hang out with friends as a couple further along in your relationship. She may ask something like: \\\"Would it be ok if [friend's name] tags along?\\\" Respond with: \\\"I really want to hang out with just you that night.\\\"\\n\", \"If a girl seems busy or in a rush, it isn't an appropriate time to ask her on a date.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,557 | How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend | 1. The Casual Approach
1-1. Get to know her.
If you’re thinking about asking someone to be your girlfriend, you might already know a little bit about her. Try to chat with her and find out what she likes, dislikes, what her hobbies are, and what she does for fun. If you feel up to it, you can even add in a little bit of flirting here and there (a casual hand touch or a compliment would work great here).
You can chat with her one on one, or talk in a group setting, if you’re more comfortable that way.
If you’ve been on a few dates before, you might already know a lot about her, which is great!
1-2. Catch her at the right time.
Try to pick a time to talk when there aren’t a ton of distractions or people listening. You can meet up in a public park, take a walk around the block, or head to a small coffee shop for some one on one time.
If the timing doesn’t feel right or you run into a group of people, you can save your question for next time. Don’t feel pressured to ask if it doesn’t feel right!
1-3. Engage in some light conversation.
Ask her about her day, tell her a funny story, or ask what she’s been up to. Even if you asked to hang out specifically so you could ask her to be your girlfriend, there’s no rush!
Compliments are a great go-to if you aren’t sure what to say. You could try something like, “Your outfit looks really nice today,” or, “I just love your laugh!”
You can also keep it casual with questions like, “So how is work going?” or, “Have you been staying cool in the hot weather?”
1-4. Confess your feelings and ask her to be your girlfriend.
When there’s a lull in the conversation, take it to a more serious territory. Tell her that you like her and ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend. This is the most nerve-wracking part, but you can do it!
Try something like, “So we’ve been hanging out for a little while, and I’m starting to have feelings for you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”
Or, “We’ve been friends for so long, I feel like I know you so well. I really like you, and I wanted to ask if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”
1-5. Respond calmly, no matter what her reply is.
If she says yes, it’s time to celebrate! You can smile, laugh, and confess how nervous you were about asking her. From there, you can steer the conversation in another direction to move on with your night.
If she says no thanks or that she’s not ready to be in a relationship, don’t sweat it. Everyone’s situation is different, and chances are, it doesn’t have much to do with you anyway. You can continue hanging out with her or you can wrap up the night and head home.
2. The Heartfelt Approach
2-1. Befriend her.
Take the time to get to know her as a close friend before trying to progress to something more. Learn about her friends, her family, and what she likes to do for fun to see if you two would be a good match.
This will also give you both time to figure out if you have feelings for each other.
2-2. Ask her to spend time with you one on one.
Once you reach a level of friendship that allows the two of you to hang out without being in a group, invite her to spend some time with you alone. You could go to a park, a coffee shop, or even out to dinner.
If you want to be cautious, ask her to visit someplace familiar yet different, like a different coffee shop or a nearby park that you have both talked about wanting to visit.
If you want to be a little bolder, ask her to spend the afternoon or evening with you without revealing your plans. You can take her out for a nice meal, an interesting show, or a night of dancing.
2-3. Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift.
Unless you frequently throw gifts her way, a gift lets the girl know that there is something different—and special—about your time together this day when compared to any other day. A bouquet of flowers is always nice, or a box of chocolates to satiate her sweet tooth.
Giving her a gift isn’t strictly necessary, so don’t go out and get one if it doesn’t feel right.
You could also give her something that reminds her of an inside joke you two have.
2-4. Tell her seriously how you feel.
After you have spent some time enjoying each other's company, sit down with her and tell her that you have something important to say. Once you have her undivided attention, tell her honestly that you have strong feelings for her and would like her to be your girlfriend.
Try something like, “I really enjoy the time I spend with you and consider you an important part of my life. I can't help but have feelings for you past those of friendship, though. If you feel the same way, or think you could see me as a boyfriend, then I'd like to go out with you.”
2-5. Accept her answer no matter what.
If she says yes, then you’re in the clear! You can keep hanging out and celebrate the fact that you two are now a couple. Maybe snap a few quick selfies to remember the moment for the rest of time.
If she doesn’t accept, that’s okay too. You two can continue hanging out as friends as you look for romance somewhere else.
3. Asking Over Text
3-1. Strike up a casual conversation.
Start out with a simple opener that gets the conversation flowing. You could ask her what she’s been up to, how her day is going, or what her plans are for the weekend. Try to avoid a simple “hey,” since that doesn’t lead to much.
Try something like, “Hey! How did the test go today?”
Or, “Got any plans for the nice weather this weekend?”
3-2. Ask her a few questions about her day.
Continue on with your text convo as smoothly as possible. You can see where the conversation leads naturally, or you can steer it by asking her questions about her day and what she’s doing.
Good examples include, “How are you feeling today?” “What have you been up to?” and “Did you have a nice day off?”
If she’s taking a long time to reply, don’t sweat it—she’s probably just busy. You can wait until she replies to continue the conversation or just try it again another day.
3-3. Send her some compliments or sweet messages.
As your texting progresses, try flirting subtly with her by complimenting her or telling her how much you miss her. There’s a fine balance between laying it on too thick and being sweet, so try to toe it as carefully as possible!
Try something like, “You always make me laugh.”
Or, “I wish I could see your pretty face right now.”
You could even sprinkle in a few Emojis here and there to amp up the romance.
3-4. Tell her that you like her.
If you’re getting vibes that she might like you too, go ahead and let her know. You don’t have to be super serious about it, so keep it fun and casual. This is a text convo, after all!
Try something like, “Hey, so I really like you.”
Telling someone about your feelings over text isn’t ideal, but if you live far away or can’t meet up, it might be the only option you have.
3-5. Pop the question directly.
After you confess your feelings to her, it’s time to ask the big question. Go ahead and send that text message, even if it makes you super nervous. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know!
A direct approach would be something like, “Will you be my girlfriend?”
Or you could try, “I’d love it if we could make our relationship official.”
3-6. Accept her response with grace.
If she says yes, wahoo! You can ask her to meet up sometime soon face to face, or you can call her on the phone to express how happy you are. Your efforts paid off, and now you have the girlfriend of your dreams.
If she says no, that’s okay too. Let her know that you respect her decision, and try to remain friends, if you can.
Tips
It can be really nerve-wracking to ask someone out, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:57",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. The Casual Approach\\n1-1. Get to know her.\\nIf you’re thinking about asking someone to be your girlfriend, you might already know a little bit about her. Try to chat with her and find out what she likes, dislikes, what her hobbies are, and what she does for fun. If you feel up to it, you can even add in a little bit of flirting here and there (a casual hand touch or a compliment would work great here).\\nYou can chat with her one on one, or talk in a group setting, if you’re more comfortable that way.\\nIf you’ve been on a few dates before, you might already know a lot about her, which is great!\\n1-2. Catch her at the right time.\\nTry to pick a time to talk when there aren’t a ton of distractions or people listening. You can meet up in a public park, take a walk around the block, or head to a small coffee shop for some one on one time.\\nIf the timing doesn’t feel right or you run into a group of people, you can save your question for next time. Don’t feel pressured to ask if it doesn’t feel right!\\n1-3. Engage in some light conversation.\\nAsk her about her day, tell her a funny story, or ask what she’s been up to. Even if you asked to hang out specifically so you could ask her to be your girlfriend, there’s no rush!\\n\\nCompliments are a great go-to if you aren’t sure what to say. You could try something like, “Your outfit looks really nice today,” or, “I just love your laugh!”\\nYou can also keep it casual with questions like, “So how is work going?” or, “Have you been staying cool in the hot weather?”\\n1-4. Confess your feelings and ask her to be your girlfriend.\\nWhen there’s a lull in the conversation, take it to a more serious territory. Tell her that you like her and ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend. This is the most nerve-wracking part, but you can do it!\\nTry something like, “So we’ve been hanging out for a little while, and I’m starting to have feelings for you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”\\nOr, “We’ve been friends for so long, I feel like I know you so well. I really like you, and I wanted to ask if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”\\n1-5. Respond calmly, no matter what her reply is.\\nIf she says yes, it’s time to celebrate! You can smile, laugh, and confess how nervous you were about asking her. From there, you can steer the conversation in another direction to move on with your night.\\nIf she says no thanks or that she’s not ready to be in a relationship, don’t sweat it. Everyone’s situation is different, and chances are, it doesn’t have much to do with you anyway. You can continue hanging out with her or you can wrap up the night and head home.\\n2. The Heartfelt Approach\\n2-1. Befriend her.\\nTake the time to get to know her as a close friend before trying to progress to something more. Learn about her friends, her family, and what she likes to do for fun to see if you two would be a good match.\\nThis will also give you both time to figure out if you have feelings for each other.\\n2-2. Ask her to spend time with you one on one.\\nOnce you reach a level of friendship that allows the two of you to hang out without being in a group, invite her to spend some time with you alone. You could go to a park, a coffee shop, or even out to dinner.\\nIf you want to be cautious, ask her to visit someplace familiar yet different, like a different coffee shop or a nearby park that you have both talked about wanting to visit.\\nIf you want to be a little bolder, ask her to spend the afternoon or evening with you without revealing your plans. You can take her out for a nice meal, an interesting show, or a night of dancing.\\n2-3. Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift.\\nUnless you frequently throw gifts her way, a gift lets the girl know that there is something different—and special—about your time together this day when compared to any other day. A bouquet of flowers is always nice, or a box of chocolates to satiate her sweet tooth.\\nGiving her a gift isn’t strictly necessary, so don’t go out and get one if it doesn’t feel right.\\nYou could also give her something that reminds her of an inside joke you two have.\\n2-4. Tell her seriously how you feel.\\nAfter you have spent some time enjoying each other's company, sit down with her and tell her that you have something important to say. Once you have her undivided attention, tell her honestly that you have strong feelings for her and would like her to be your girlfriend.\\nTry something like, “I really enjoy the time I spend with you and consider you an important part of my life. I can't help but have feelings for you past those of friendship, though. If you feel the same way, or think you could see me as a boyfriend, then I'd like to go out with you.”\\n2-5. Accept her answer no matter what.\\nIf she says yes, then you’re in the clear! You can keep hanging out and celebrate the fact that you two are now a couple. Maybe snap a few quick selfies to remember the moment for the rest of time.\\nIf she doesn’t accept, that’s okay too. You two can continue hanging out as friends as you look for romance somewhere else.\\n3. Asking Over Text\\n3-1. Strike up a casual conversation.\\nStart out with a simple opener that gets the conversation flowing. You could ask her what she’s been up to, how her day is going, or what her plans are for the weekend. Try to avoid a simple “hey,” since that doesn’t lead to much.\\nTry something like, “Hey! How did the test go today?”\\nOr, “Got any plans for the nice weather this weekend?”\\n3-2. Ask her a few questions about her day.\\nContinue on with your text convo as smoothly as possible. You can see where the conversation leads naturally, or you can steer it by asking her questions about her day and what she’s doing.\\nGood examples include, “How are you feeling today?” “What have you been up to?” and “Did you have a nice day off?”\\nIf she’s taking a long time to reply, don’t sweat it—she’s probably just busy. You can wait until she replies to continue the conversation or just try it again another day.\\n3-3. Send her some compliments or sweet messages.\\nAs your texting progresses, try flirting subtly with her by complimenting her or telling her how much you miss her. There’s a fine balance between laying it on too thick and being sweet, so try to toe it as carefully as possible!\\nTry something like, “You always make me laugh.”\\nOr, “I wish I could see your pretty face right now.”\\nYou could even sprinkle in a few Emojis here and there to amp up the romance.\\n3-4. Tell her that you like her.\\nIf you’re getting vibes that she might like you too, go ahead and let her know. You don’t have to be super serious about it, so keep it fun and casual. This is a text convo, after all!\\nTry something like, “Hey, so I really like you.”\\nTelling someone about your feelings over text isn’t ideal, but if you live far away or can’t meet up, it might be the only option you have.\\n3-5. Pop the question directly.\\nAfter you confess your feelings to her, it’s time to ask the big question. Go ahead and send that text message, even if it makes you super nervous. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know!\\nA direct approach would be something like, “Will you be my girlfriend?”\\nOr you could try, “I’d love it if we could make our relationship official.”\\n3-6. Accept her response with grace.\\nIf she says yes, wahoo! You can ask her to meet up sometime soon face to face, or you can call her on the phone to express how happy you are. Your efforts paid off, and now you have the girlfriend of your dreams.\\nIf she says no, that’s okay too. Let her know that you respect her decision, and try to remain friends, if you can.\\nTips\\nIt can be really nerve-wracking to ask someone out, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’ve met someone special and you’ve been hanging out for a while, you might feel like it’s time to pop the question (the girlfriend question, of course!). Thinking about asking someone to be your official girlfriend might have you freaked, so remember that it’s okay to be nervous. By planning ahead just a little bit and keeping some pointers in mind, you can get the question out as painlessly as possible. If the timing is right and she likes you back, you might just land a girlfriend!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The Casual Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get to know her.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re thinking about asking someone to be your girlfriend, you might already know a little bit about her. Try to chat with her and find out what she likes, dislikes, what her hobbies are, and what she does for fun. If you feel up to it, you can even add in a little bit of flirting here and there (a casual hand touch or a compliment would work great here).\\nYou can chat with her one on one, or talk in a group setting, if you’re more comfortable that way.\\nIf you’ve been on a few dates before, you might already know a lot about her, which is great!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Catch her at the right time.\", \"描述\": \"Try to pick a time to talk when there aren’t a ton of distractions or people listening. You can meet up in a public park, take a walk around the block, or head to a small coffee shop for some one on one time.\\nIf the timing doesn’t feel right or you run into a group of people, you can save your question for next time. Don’t feel pressured to ask if it doesn’t feel right!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Engage in some light conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her about her day, tell her a funny story, or ask what she’s been up to. Even if you asked to hang out specifically so you could ask her to be your girlfriend, there’s no rush!\\n\\nCompliments are a great go-to if you aren’t sure what to say. You could try something like, “Your outfit looks really nice today,” or, “I just love your laugh!”\\nYou can also keep it casual with questions like, “So how is work going?” or, “Have you been staying cool in the hot weather?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Confess your feelings and ask her to be your girlfriend.\", \"描述\": \"When there’s a lull in the conversation, take it to a more serious territory. Tell her that you like her and ask her if she’d like to be your girlfriend. This is the most nerve-wracking part, but you can do it!\\nTry something like, “So we’ve been hanging out for a little while, and I’m starting to have feelings for you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”\\nOr, “We’ve been friends for so long, I feel like I know you so well. I really like you, and I wanted to ask if you’d like to be my girlfriend.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Respond calmly, no matter what her reply is.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, it’s time to celebrate! You can smile, laugh, and confess how nervous you were about asking her. From there, you can steer the conversation in another direction to move on with your night.\\nIf she says no thanks or that she’s not ready to be in a relationship, don’t sweat it. Everyone’s situation is different, and chances are, it doesn’t have much to do with you anyway. You can continue hanging out with her or you can wrap up the night and head home.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"The Heartfelt Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Befriend her.\", \"描述\": \"Take the time to get to know her as a close friend before trying to progress to something more. Learn about her friends, her family, and what she likes to do for fun to see if you two would be a good match.\\nThis will also give you both time to figure out if you have feelings for each other.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her to spend time with you one on one.\", \"描述\": \"Once you reach a level of friendship that allows the two of you to hang out without being in a group, invite her to spend some time with you alone. You could go to a park, a coffee shop, or even out to dinner.\\nIf you want to be cautious, ask her to visit someplace familiar yet different, like a different coffee shop or a nearby park that you have both talked about wanting to visit.\\nIf you want to be a little bolder, ask her to spend the afternoon or evening with you without revealing your plans. You can take her out for a nice meal, an interesting show, or a night of dancing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Consider giving her a small, inexpensive gift.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you frequently throw gifts her way, a gift lets the girl know that there is something different—and special—about your time together this day when compared to any other day. A bouquet of flowers is always nice, or a box of chocolates to satiate her sweet tooth.\\nGiving her a gift isn’t strictly necessary, so don’t go out and get one if it doesn’t feel right.\\nYou could also give her something that reminds her of an inside joke you two have.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell her seriously how you feel.\", \"描述\": \"After you have spent some time enjoying each other's company, sit down with her and tell her that you have something important to say. Once you have her undivided attention, tell her honestly that you have strong feelings for her and would like her to be your girlfriend.\\nTry something like, “I really enjoy the time I spend with you and consider you an important part of my life. I can't help but have feelings for you past those of friendship, though. If you feel the same way, or think you could see me as a boyfriend, then I'd like to go out with you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept her answer no matter what.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, then you’re in the clear! You can keep hanging out and celebrate the fact that you two are now a couple. Maybe snap a few quick selfies to remember the moment for the rest of time.\\nIf she doesn’t accept, that’s okay too. You two can continue hanging out as friends as you look for romance somewhere else.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking Over Text\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Strike up a casual conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Start out with a simple opener that gets the conversation flowing. You could ask her what she’s been up to, how her day is going, or what her plans are for the weekend. Try to avoid a simple “hey,” since that doesn’t lead to much.\\nTry something like, “Hey! How did the test go today?”\\nOr, “Got any plans for the nice weather this weekend?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her a few questions about her day.\", \"描述\": \"Continue on with your text convo as smoothly as possible. You can see where the conversation leads naturally, or you can steer it by asking her questions about her day and what she’s doing.\\nGood examples include, “How are you feeling today?” “What have you been up to?” and “Did you have a nice day off?”\\nIf she’s taking a long time to reply, don’t sweat it—she’s probably just busy. You can wait until she replies to continue the conversation or just try it again another day.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Send her some compliments or sweet messages.\", \"描述\": \"As your texting progresses, try flirting subtly with her by complimenting her or telling her how much you miss her. There’s a fine balance between laying it on too thick and being sweet, so try to toe it as carefully as possible!\\nTry something like, “You always make me laugh.”\\nOr, “I wish I could see your pretty face right now.”\\nYou could even sprinkle in a few Emojis here and there to amp up the romance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell her that you like her.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re getting vibes that she might like you too, go ahead and let her know. You don’t have to be super serious about it, so keep it fun and casual. This is a text convo, after all!\\nTry something like, “Hey, so I really like you.”\\nTelling someone about your feelings over text isn’t ideal, but if you live far away or can’t meet up, it might be the only option you have.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Pop the question directly.\", \"描述\": \"After you confess your feelings to her, it’s time to ask the big question. Go ahead and send that text message, even if it makes you super nervous. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know!\\nA direct approach would be something like, “Will you be my girlfriend?”\\nOr you could try, “I’d love it if we could make our relationship official.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accept her response with grace.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, wahoo! You can ask her to meet up sometime soon face to face, or you can call her on the phone to express how happy you are. Your efforts paid off, and now you have the girlfriend of your dreams.\\nIf she says no, that’s okay too. Let her know that you respect her decision, and try to remain friends, if you can.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It can be really nerve-wracking to ask someone out, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,558 | How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend if You Are in Your 30s | 1. Be direct and ask in person.
The easiest way to ask her out is to just ask!
A new relationship can be hard to navigate, especially if you haven’t made things official. Don’t worry—asking her directly is the easiest, most direct way to get a clear answer. Just let her know how much you like her, and that you’d like to be with her.
During COVID-19, you might have to ask her out over the phone or over video chat.
You might say something like, “I’m really loving the time we’ve spent together. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”
2. Show your vulnerable side.
Let her know how you really feel.
It can be a little scary to open yourself up to someone if you're not sure how they feel. However, if you're going to get into a relationship, it's important to show her how much you care. Talk to her about how you'd like the relationship to progress, and let her make her decision based on that.
For example, you might say, "I really care about you, and I'd love for us to take our relationship further."
3. Avoid using pick-up lines.
You won’t come across as genuine if you use a pick-up line.
Instead, just tell her the truth—that you’d like to be her partner. Authenticity is always the best way to start a new relationship!
4. Use mature language.
Skip over the high school or college jargon.
If you really want a serious relationship, back yourself up with some serious language. Phrases Iike “let’s kick it” or “let’s chill” don’t offer a lot of maturity, and don’t make you seem very serious. Instead, talk to her in a sincere and genuine way.
“I’d love for you to be my girlfriend” is much more mature than something like “Let’s make this legit.”
5. Tell her you don't want to see other people.
Make things exclusive if you've been on a few dates already.
You might be dating casually, but that doesn't mean she's your girlfriend yet. If you want to take things to the next level, tell her you aren't interested in seeing anyone else, and you want to know if she'll agree to only date you.
Say something like, "I really enjoy spending time with you and I'd love to see where this goes. I'm not dating anyone else, and I don't want to. Are you seeing anyone other than me?"
If you met online, you could say, "I deleted my dating profile. Do you still have yours up?"
6. Tell her your friends are getting curious.
Use this as an indirect way to find out how she feels.
If you're feeling a little shy, try framing the conversation in terms of how other people see you. Let her know that other people have noticed how much time you're spending together, but that you wanted to check with her before you said anything.
For instance, you might say, "After lunch, Jay asked me if you were my girlfriend, but we haven't had that conversation yet so I didn't know what to say. I kind of liked the sound of it, though."
7. Pop the question in a letter.
A written letter can help take some of the edge off.
Brainstorm everything you’d like to say to her, and jot it down in the letter. Let her know exactly how you feel, and that you’d like to take things to the next level. Once your letter is finished, hand it to her directly, or mail it to her home.
You might reflect on some of your past relationships, or talk about how comfortable and happy you feel when you’re around her.
You could write something like, “I can never find the right words to say when I’m with you, so I’m writing this letter to tell you exactly how I feel.”
8. Take her on a date and ask her out.
Pick a place where it’s easy to have a conversation.
Keep it flexible—grabbing lunch or coffee is a great place to start. If she isn’t a fan of your original suggestion, feel free to compromise and go with whatever she suggests. Spending time together on a date is a great time to ask her to be your girlfriend.
“Want to grab coffee this weekend?” or “Are you free for lunch tomorrow?” are simple but effective ways to invite her on a date.
Plan a date where you’ll be able to talk openly and freely. If you’re catching a movie together, you won’t get much time to talk.
9. Ask her over a romantic meal.
If your girl is a foodie, she’ll love this tasty approach.
As you’re serving the food, make a casual comment about how these foods taste best in pairs, like burgers and fries or spaghetti and meatballs. Then, segue into a comment about how both of you go really well together.
This isn’t necessarily the smoothest approach, but it’s still a fun way to approach the topic.
You might say something like, “Macaroni and cheese work so well together—just like us!”
10. Invite her to a group event.
Group dates are a little less nerve-wracking than solo dates.
Instead of meeting up with her alone, ask if she’d like to go to a group outing, like a sports game, barbecue, carnival, or game night. Spending time in a group atmosphere might take some of the pressure off. If the group setting feels too public, take her aside for a few minutes to ask her the big question.
You might say something like, “Could we talk outside for a second? There’s something I want to ask you.”
When you’re with other people, there won’t be any awkward gaps in the conversation.
11. Volunteer with her.
Let her see your charitable side through a day of volunteering.
Then, segue your community service into a possible dinner date. If she accepts, you can ask the big question when you’re alone together.
You might invite her to volunteer at an animal shelter with you, or help out at a local soup kitchen or food pantry.
You could say something like, “The community center is holding a blood drive this weekend. Would you like to go with me? We could grab a coffee after.”
12. Stay relaxed even if she says no.
Rejection is a normal part of life, regardless of your age.
There are plenty of reasons a girl might say no—she might not feel the same way, or the timing might not be right. Still, try not to take it too personally. Instead, stay cool, mature, and polite, and thank her for being upfront about her feelings.
Tips
Jot down a list of your some of your exes, along with any of your friends who are currently in relationships. Create a pros and cons list with these names—focus on what you really liked about these relationships, and what you didn’t like. This might help you fine tune your ideal partner.[14]
X
Research source
Try not to focus on the past, even if you’ve experienced some tough break-ups. Instead, focus on the potential relationships waiting for you in the future![15]
X
Research source
It may sound cliche, but age really is just a number. You don’t have to date someone who’s exactly the same age as you![16]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be direct and ask in person.\\nThe easiest way to ask her out is to just ask!\\nA new relationship can be hard to navigate, especially if you haven’t made things official. Don’t worry—asking her directly is the easiest, most direct way to get a clear answer. Just let her know how much you like her, and that you’d like to be with her.\\nDuring COVID-19, you might have to ask her out over the phone or over video chat.\\nYou might say something like, “I’m really loving the time we’ve spent together. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”\\n2. Show your vulnerable side.\\nLet her know how you really feel.\\nIt can be a little scary to open yourself up to someone if you're not sure how they feel. However, if you're going to get into a relationship, it's important to show her how much you care. Talk to her about how you'd like the relationship to progress, and let her make her decision based on that.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"I really care about you, and I'd love for us to take our relationship further.\\\"\\n3. Avoid using pick-up lines.\\nYou won’t come across as genuine if you use a pick-up line.\\nInstead, just tell her the truth—that you’d like to be her partner. Authenticity is always the best way to start a new relationship!\\n4. Use mature language.\\nSkip over the high school or college jargon.\\nIf you really want a serious relationship, back yourself up with some serious language. Phrases Iike “let’s kick it” or “let’s chill” don’t offer a lot of maturity, and don’t make you seem very serious. Instead, talk to her in a sincere and genuine way.\\n“I’d love for you to be my girlfriend” is much more mature than something like “Let’s make this legit.”\\n5. Tell her you don't want to see other people.\\nMake things exclusive if you've been on a few dates already.\\nYou might be dating casually, but that doesn't mean she's your girlfriend yet. If you want to take things to the next level, tell her you aren't interested in seeing anyone else, and you want to know if she'll agree to only date you.\\nSay something like, \\\"I really enjoy spending time with you and I'd love to see where this goes. I'm not dating anyone else, and I don't want to. Are you seeing anyone other than me?\\\"\\nIf you met online, you could say, \\\"I deleted my dating profile. Do you still have yours up?\\\"\\n6. Tell her your friends are getting curious.\\nUse this as an indirect way to find out how she feels.\\nIf you're feeling a little shy, try framing the conversation in terms of how other people see you. Let her know that other people have noticed how much time you're spending together, but that you wanted to check with her before you said anything.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"After lunch, Jay asked me if you were my girlfriend, but we haven't had that conversation yet so I didn't know what to say. I kind of liked the sound of it, though.\\\"\\n7. Pop the question in a letter.\\nA written letter can help take some of the edge off.\\nBrainstorm everything you’d like to say to her, and jot it down in the letter. Let her know exactly how you feel, and that you’d like to take things to the next level. Once your letter is finished, hand it to her directly, or mail it to her home.\\nYou might reflect on some of your past relationships, or talk about how comfortable and happy you feel when you’re around her.\\nYou could write something like, “I can never find the right words to say when I’m with you, so I’m writing this letter to tell you exactly how I feel.”\\n8. Take her on a date and ask her out.\\nPick a place where it’s easy to have a conversation.\\nKeep it flexible—grabbing lunch or coffee is a great place to start. If she isn’t a fan of your original suggestion, feel free to compromise and go with whatever she suggests. Spending time together on a date is a great time to ask her to be your girlfriend.\\n“Want to grab coffee this weekend?” or “Are you free for lunch tomorrow?” are simple but effective ways to invite her on a date.\\nPlan a date where you’ll be able to talk openly and freely. If you’re catching a movie together, you won’t get much time to talk.\\n9. Ask her over a romantic meal.\\nIf your girl is a foodie, she’ll love this tasty approach.\\nAs you’re serving the food, make a casual comment about how these foods taste best in pairs, like burgers and fries or spaghetti and meatballs. Then, segue into a comment about how both of you go really well together.\\nThis isn’t necessarily the smoothest approach, but it’s still a fun way to approach the topic.\\nYou might say something like, “Macaroni and cheese work so well together—just like us!”\\n10. Invite her to a group event.\\nGroup dates are a little less nerve-wracking than solo dates.\\nInstead of meeting up with her alone, ask if she’d like to go to a group outing, like a sports game, barbecue, carnival, or game night. Spending time in a group atmosphere might take some of the pressure off. If the group setting feels too public, take her aside for a few minutes to ask her the big question.\\nYou might say something like, “Could we talk outside for a second? There’s something I want to ask you.”\\nWhen you’re with other people, there won’t be any awkward gaps in the conversation.\\n11. Volunteer with her.\\nLet her see your charitable side through a day of volunteering.\\nThen, segue your community service into a possible dinner date. If she accepts, you can ask the big question when you’re alone together.\\nYou might invite her to volunteer at an animal shelter with you, or help out at a local soup kitchen or food pantry.\\nYou could say something like, “The community center is holding a blood drive this weekend. Would you like to go with me? We could grab a coffee after.”\\n12. Stay relaxed even if she says no.\\nRejection is a normal part of life, regardless of your age.\\nThere are plenty of reasons a girl might say no—she might not feel the same way, or the timing might not be right. Still, try not to take it too personally. Instead, stay cool, mature, and polite, and thank her for being upfront about her feelings.\\nTips\\nJot down a list of your some of your exes, along with any of your friends who are currently in relationships. Create a pros and cons list with these names—focus on what you really liked about these relationships, and what you didn’t like. This might help you fine tune your ideal partner.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTry not to focus on the past, even if you’ve experienced some tough break-ups. Instead, focus on the potential relationships waiting for you in the future![15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIt may sound cliche, but age really is just a number. You don’t have to date someone who’s exactly the same age as you![16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Dating in your 30s can be tricky, especially if you haven’t been on a date in a while. Not to worry, though! In many ways, the dating scene is a lot easier to navigate when you’re in your 30s since you and your potential partner are old enough to know what you want without playing games. As such, the best way to ask a girl to be your girlfriend when you’re both in your 30s is to be straight up and ask her! If you’re ready to take the next step, here are a few tips and suggestions to help you along the way.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be direct and ask in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"The easiest way to ask her out is to just ask!\", \"描述\": \"A new relationship can be hard to navigate, especially if you haven’t made things official. Don’t worry—asking her directly is the easiest, most direct way to get a clear answer. Just let her know how much you like her, and that you’d like to be with her.\\nDuring COVID-19, you might have to ask her out over the phone or over video chat.\\nYou might say something like, “I’m really loving the time we’ve spent together. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show your vulnerable side.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let her know how you really feel.\", \"描述\": \"It can be a little scary to open yourself up to someone if you're not sure how they feel. However, if you're going to get into a relationship, it's important to show her how much you care. Talk to her about how you'd like the relationship to progress, and let her make her decision based on that.\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"I really care about you, and I'd love for us to take our relationship further.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid using pick-up lines.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You won’t come across as genuine if you use a pick-up line.\", \"描述\": \"Instead, just tell her the truth—that you’d like to be her partner. Authenticity is always the best way to start a new relationship!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use mature language.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Skip over the high school or college jargon.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want a serious relationship, back yourself up with some serious language. Phrases Iike “let’s kick it” or “let’s chill” don’t offer a lot of maturity, and don’t make you seem very serious. Instead, talk to her in a sincere and genuine way.\\n“I’d love for you to be my girlfriend” is much more mature than something like “Let’s make this legit.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell her you don't want to see other people.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make things exclusive if you've been on a few dates already.\", \"描述\": \"You might be dating casually, but that doesn't mean she's your girlfriend yet. If you want to take things to the next level, tell her you aren't interested in seeing anyone else, and you want to know if she'll agree to only date you.\\nSay something like, \\\"I really enjoy spending time with you and I'd love to see where this goes. I'm not dating anyone else, and I don't want to. Are you seeing anyone other than me?\\\"\\nIf you met online, you could say, \\\"I deleted my dating profile. Do you still have yours up?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tell her your friends are getting curious.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use this as an indirect way to find out how she feels.\", \"描述\": \"If you're feeling a little shy, try framing the conversation in terms of how other people see you. Let her know that other people have noticed how much time you're spending together, but that you wanted to check with her before you said anything.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"After lunch, Jay asked me if you were my girlfriend, but we haven't had that conversation yet so I didn't know what to say. I kind of liked the sound of it, though.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Pop the question in a letter.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A written letter can help take some of the edge off.\", \"描述\": \"Brainstorm everything you’d like to say to her, and jot it down in the letter. Let her know exactly how you feel, and that you’d like to take things to the next level. Once your letter is finished, hand it to her directly, or mail it to her home.\\nYou might reflect on some of your past relationships, or talk about how comfortable and happy you feel when you’re around her.\\nYou could write something like, “I can never find the right words to say when I’m with you, so I’m writing this letter to tell you exactly how I feel.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Take her on a date and ask her out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pick a place where it’s easy to have a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Keep it flexible—grabbing lunch or coffee is a great place to start. If she isn’t a fan of your original suggestion, feel free to compromise and go with whatever she suggests. Spending time together on a date is a great time to ask her to be your girlfriend.\\n“Want to grab coffee this weekend?” or “Are you free for lunch tomorrow?” are simple but effective ways to invite her on a date.\\nPlan a date where you’ll be able to talk openly and freely. If you’re catching a movie together, you won’t get much time to talk.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Ask her over a romantic meal.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your girl is a foodie, she’ll love this tasty approach.\", \"描述\": \"As you’re serving the food, make a casual comment about how these foods taste best in pairs, like burgers and fries or spaghetti and meatballs. Then, segue into a comment about how both of you go really well together.\\nThis isn’t necessarily the smoothest approach, but it’s still a fun way to approach the topic.\\nYou might say something like, “Macaroni and cheese work so well together—just like us!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Invite her to a group event.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Group dates are a little less nerve-wracking than solo dates.\", \"描述\": \"Instead of meeting up with her alone, ask if she’d like to go to a group outing, like a sports game, barbecue, carnival, or game night. Spending time in a group atmosphere might take some of the pressure off. If the group setting feels too public, take her aside for a few minutes to ask her the big question.\\nYou might say something like, “Could we talk outside for a second? There’s something I want to ask you.”\\nWhen you’re with other people, there won’t be any awkward gaps in the conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Volunteer with her.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let her see your charitable side through a day of volunteering.\", \"描述\": \"Then, segue your community service into a possible dinner date. If she accepts, you can ask the big question when you’re alone together.\\nYou might invite her to volunteer at an animal shelter with you, or help out at a local soup kitchen or food pantry.\\nYou could say something like, “The community center is holding a blood drive this weekend. Would you like to go with me? We could grab a coffee after.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Stay relaxed even if she says no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Rejection is a normal part of life, regardless of your age.\", \"描述\": \"There are plenty of reasons a girl might say no—she might not feel the same way, or the timing might not be right. Still, try not to take it too personally. Instead, stay cool, mature, and polite, and thank her for being upfront about her feelings.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Jot down a list of your some of your exes, along with any of your friends who are currently in relationships. Create a pros and cons list with these names—focus on what you really liked about these relationships, and what you didn’t like. This might help you fine tune your ideal partner.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Try not to focus on the past, even if you’ve experienced some tough break-ups. Instead, focus on the potential relationships waiting for you in the future![15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"It may sound cliche, but age really is just a number. You don’t have to date someone who’s exactly the same age as you![16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,559 | Clever Ways to Ask If She'll Be Yours This Valentine's Day | 1. Being Creative
1-1. Send her a gift as a cutesy token of your affection.
Feel free to get clever and punny. For example, buy her a pizza decorated with a heart formed out of pepperoni and scrawl, “I know it’s cheesy, but…will you be my valentine?” on the lid. Or, get her a small stuffed animal holding a sign with the same question. Whether you express yourself with food or a romantic memento, you’re sure to win her over.
Up-level a bar of chocolate by putting a cute note on it, like a short and simple, "Will you be my valentine?"
You can also put a label on a bucket of popcorn and write, "In my eyes, you're perfect! I'm not just buttering you up!" on it. Then, give it to her and ask if she'll catch a movie with you.
Or, you can give her a s'mores kit that's packed in a mason jar and tie a little sign on it that says, "There's nothing I like s'more than you!"
1-2. Surprise her with a beautiful bouquet.
When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you can never go wrong with flowers. They’re a fresh and spontaneous way to perk up her spirits, and they basically scream romance. To brighten her mood even more, deliver them when she’s at work or school—it’ll make her glow with pride and impress everyone around her.
Try to remember what her favorite flowers are or get some hints from her friends. For instance, she may prefer tiger lilies or tulips. When in doubt, you can never go wrong with a lush bouquet of red roses.
1-3. Whip up some baked goods just for her.
After all, the way to a girl’s heart is through her stomach! Are you more of an amateur baker? Follow a recipe to the tee and start with a meaningful but basic treat, like a batch of brownies or cookies. Maybe you’re a cooking enthusiast? Make her something indulgent that requires more skill: put together macarons or bake an exquisite cake.
To go the extra mile, make your baked goods with heart-shaped trays and choose colors like pink or red. Use a small piping bag to scrawl a short and sweet message on your mouth-watering treats, like "be mine," "xoxo," or "Happy V-day!"
1-4. Serve up some latte art to put a smile on her face.
Use a coffee stencil to create a cute design, like a heart or a flower. Want to go above and beyond? Spend some dough on a customized stencil so you can spell out her name or give her a special message that proclaims your love and affection. Your special sentiment will taste so sweet!
1-5. Arrange a scavenger hunt
Hide objects around her school or at your place, then present her with a list to mull over. For example, tape a cute selfie to her locker, hide a corsage in your glove compartment, and wait at the cafeteria to hand her a big box of chocolates as her final prize. When she meets up with you, drop the age-old question: will she be your valentine?
Here's an example clue to inspire you. Say you wanted to direct her to your school's track field. You might plant clue #1 in her locker, with this note: To "track" down the first clue, "race" over to the spot where we first met 1 year ago.
1-6. Spell out your feelings with chocolate kisses.
For a tongue-in-cheek valentine message, find a spot you know she’ll be, like her front door step or her locker. Form a heart out of chocolate kisses right on the ground. Then, drop this note in the center of it: “Now that I have kissed the ground that you walk on, will you be my valentine?” She’ll get a real kick out of it!
1-7. Incorporate your creative talents into your proposal.
Brainstorm ways to show off your special talents and skills when you ask her out. For example, if you’re a singer and part of the Glee Club, you can serenade her. In fact, you can get some of your other musically inclined friends to help out and make it a valentine she’ll always remember! Whatever you go with, she’ll adore what you came up with because you really put your heart into it.
Here are some other scenarios to inspire you: if you’re an artist, you can draw a portrait of her; if you’re in a Fundamentals of Welding class, you can forge a pendant for her. In both of these cases, she’ll have a memento she can cherish forever.
1-8. Make a romantic V-day playlist she can jam out to.
Think about the genres that she seems to like. Whether it’s pop, punk, or alternative rock, it’s important to treat her to some ear candy she actually enjoys! For an extra special touch, gradually dial up the romance—start with a song about having a crush, then end with one that hints you have serious feelings for her.
1-9. Record a video love letter to make her heart skip a beat.
For a super bold way to ask a girl out and to request that she be your valentine, create a vid just for her: all you need is bravery, sincerity, and a smartphone! When you express all your feelings and intentions, you’re sure to make her melt.
Send the clip via text or direct message. Check if she'd be okay with you sharing it on social media, too. She might be really touched if you share your feelings for her publicly.
Here's another bonus—you can keep re-recording your message until you feel like it's perfect and ready for her to see.
If you really want to go "all in," list all the reasons you like her and fell for her, then wrap it up by asking her to be your valentine.
1-10. Hand her a Valentine’s Day card.
While this is pretty obvious, it's still a well-loved, classic approach. Want extra brownie points? Make it yourself to infuse it with some extra love and care! Get some nice cardstock, fold it in half, cut hearts out of red or pink construction paper, and glue them on. Use your best handwriting to tell her how she’d be the best valentine for you.
Not feeling particularly crafty? No worries! Just be super discerning when you look through potential V-day cards at the supermarket or online. Definitely keep her personality and tastes in mind when to find the best one.
For example, if she's more traditional and romantic, she might like a really feminine card with flowers on it. However, if she likes to goof off with you, she'd probably enjoy a jokey card that treats her to a punchline when she opens it up.
1-11. Woo her by proving you've been paying attention to what she likes.
There’s no way you’ll be generic when you think about what makes her tick. When you ask her to be your valentine, take into account her hobbies, extracurriculars, and favorite colors, animals, foods, and places. For example, maybe she’s nuts for roller derby, adores polka dots, and loves the park. Arrange a picnic for her and gift her with a set of polka dot roller skates. Your niche valentine will knock her socks off!
Another example: if she donates to charities and loves animals, get her a stuffed elephant from a non-profit that supports animal welfare. If you also know she loves hiking and the color orange, bake her cupcakes with orange icing and hit some trails with her.
2. Asking Directly
2-1. Gather some intel from her friends.
Before you shoot your shot, make sure she’s actually single. Talk to a couple of her buddies, let them know that you’ve had your eye on her, and ask them if she’s available. Who knows—they might reveal that she’s been crushing on you and has been waiting for you to make your move.
They may even give you some tips about how to woo her. For example, maybe she’s a little on the shy side or needs some time to warm up to someone, so she likes to text before going on a date.
2-2. Keep it simple.
It’s only natural to think about all the things you should say or imagine a ton of scenarios. Don’t sweat it, though. Asking a girl to be your valentine should be fun and chill! Just tell her you’d love to spend Valentine’s Day with her. To sweeten the deal, compliment her. If you want to chat about how compatible you are, bring up what you have in common or enjoy doing together.
Praise both her looks and her personality: "I've always found you really cute, and most importantly, you make me laugh. You're so witty and sharp!"
Point out interests you both share: "It's been so fun being on the Debate Team with you. I can tell how passionate you are about making your case. I'm the exact same way!"
2-3. Practice what you’ll say to boost your confidence.
It's super charming to go through the effort of approaching a girl and asking her to be your valentine, so major props to you. To make sure you totally dazzle her, rehearse your spiel ahead of time. Stand in front of a mirror and focus on being calm and direct. Use good posture, look forward, and keep your hands out of your pocket. All these small details really count and help build chemistry and attraction right away.
Above all, remember to just be yourself. You can be upbeat or casual—it all boils down to what’s natural for you. She’ll dig your authenticity.
Start off with a polite “hello”: “Hey! It’s good to see you.” Then, show interest in her day: “How’s it going?”
Finally, smile and cut to the chase—tell her exactly why you approached her: “I’d love to get together on Valentine’s Day. I think we’d have a lot of fun.”
3. Minding the Details
3-1. Dress nicely on the day you ask her.
While you don’t have to pull out all the stops, you should make an effort to impress her. Pick out a nice outfit and make sure you’re properly groomed. If you smell nice and look great, you’ll definitely capture her attention. Don’t worry about being super formal—just look put together to make the moment super special for her. If all else fails, wear something that makes you feel great. Confidence is attractive to everyone!
Now, if you’d like to put on a signature scent and wear a killer outfit, like a designer shirt and new jeans, it might give you an extra edge.
3-2. Ask her in person, over the phone, or on social media.
Your approach all depends on what makes you feel comfortable. If you like to connect in real time, talking in person can show her how sincere you are. However, if you’re a little more shy, it might be easier to text her or reach out on Facebook or Instagram. Trust your instincts: whatever feels right is the best move.
Talk to her when she has time to consider being your valentine. For example, she’ll probably feel too rushed if you try to catch her during a passing period. Instead, reach out at lunch or when you know she’ll be home.
3-3. Be specific about what you want to do on Valentine’s Day.
To build up her anticipation and give her a sense of what she’s in for, paint a picture of the plans you made. Bring up whether you want to take her out to lunch or dinner. If you had an activity in mind, like ice skating or going to the movies, let her know. Tell her it’s your treat and you’ll pay for everything since you’re asking her out.
For example, you can say, “I’d love to take you out to dinner. Then, we can hit up that glow golf spot—I hear it’s a blast," or "Let's grab coffee and end with a trivia night: I'm dying to see which of us would win!"
Also give her some input so you can give her the best experience: “I was thinking that we can spend the afternoon at the lake. The weather will be perfect for it. I can rent a boat for us, and I’ll bring a picnic basket. What’re your favorite picnic foods?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Being Creative\\n1-1. Send her a gift as a cutesy token of your affection.\\nFeel free to get clever and punny. For example, buy her a pizza decorated with a heart formed out of pepperoni and scrawl, “I know it’s cheesy, but…will you be my valentine?” on the lid. Or, get her a small stuffed animal holding a sign with the same question. Whether you express yourself with food or a romantic memento, you’re sure to win her over.\\nUp-level a bar of chocolate by putting a cute note on it, like a short and simple, \\\"Will you be my valentine?\\\"\\nYou can also put a label on a bucket of popcorn and write, \\\"In my eyes, you're perfect! I'm not just buttering you up!\\\" on it. Then, give it to her and ask if she'll catch a movie with you.\\nOr, you can give her a s'mores kit that's packed in a mason jar and tie a little sign on it that says, \\\"There's nothing I like s'more than you!\\\"\\n1-2. Surprise her with a beautiful bouquet.\\nWhen it comes to Valentine’s Day, you can never go wrong with flowers. They’re a fresh and spontaneous way to perk up her spirits, and they basically scream romance. To brighten her mood even more, deliver them when she’s at work or school—it’ll make her glow with pride and impress everyone around her.\\nTry to remember what her favorite flowers are or get some hints from her friends. For instance, she may prefer tiger lilies or tulips. When in doubt, you can never go wrong with a lush bouquet of red roses.\\n1-3. Whip up some baked goods just for her.\\nAfter all, the way to a girl’s heart is through her stomach! Are you more of an amateur baker? Follow a recipe to the tee and start with a meaningful but basic treat, like a batch of brownies or cookies. Maybe you’re a cooking enthusiast? Make her something indulgent that requires more skill: put together macarons or bake an exquisite cake.\\nTo go the extra mile, make your baked goods with heart-shaped trays and choose colors like pink or red. Use a small piping bag to scrawl a short and sweet message on your mouth-watering treats, like \\\"be mine,\\\" \\\"xoxo,\\\" or \\\"Happy V-day!\\\"\\n1-4. Serve up some latte art to put a smile on her face.\\nUse a coffee stencil to create a cute design, like a heart or a flower. Want to go above and beyond? Spend some dough on a customized stencil so you can spell out her name or give her a special message that proclaims your love and affection. Your special sentiment will taste so sweet!\\n1-5. Arrange a scavenger hunt\\nHide objects around her school or at your place, then present her with a list to mull over. For example, tape a cute selfie to her locker, hide a corsage in your glove compartment, and wait at the cafeteria to hand her a big box of chocolates as her final prize. When she meets up with you, drop the age-old question: will she be your valentine?\\nHere's an example clue to inspire you. Say you wanted to direct her to your school's track field. You might plant clue #1 in her locker, with this note: To \\\"track\\\" down the first clue, \\\"race\\\" over to the spot where we first met 1 year ago.\\n1-6. Spell out your feelings with chocolate kisses.\\nFor a tongue-in-cheek valentine message, find a spot you know she’ll be, like her front door step or her locker. Form a heart out of chocolate kisses right on the ground. Then, drop this note in the center of it: “Now that I have kissed the ground that you walk on, will you be my valentine?” She’ll get a real kick out of it!\\n1-7. Incorporate your creative talents into your proposal.\\nBrainstorm ways to show off your special talents and skills when you ask her out. For example, if you’re a singer and part of the Glee Club, you can serenade her. In fact, you can get some of your other musically inclined friends to help out and make it a valentine she’ll always remember! Whatever you go with, she’ll adore what you came up with because you really put your heart into it.\\nHere are some other scenarios to inspire you: if you’re an artist, you can draw a portrait of her; if you’re in a Fundamentals of Welding class, you can forge a pendant for her. In both of these cases, she’ll have a memento she can cherish forever.\\n1-8. Make a romantic V-day playlist she can jam out to.\\nThink about the genres that she seems to like. Whether it’s pop, punk, or alternative rock, it’s important to treat her to some ear candy she actually enjoys! For an extra special touch, gradually dial up the romance—start with a song about having a crush, then end with one that hints you have serious feelings for her.\\n1-9. Record a video love letter to make her heart skip a beat.\\nFor a super bold way to ask a girl out and to request that she be your valentine, create a vid just for her: all you need is bravery, sincerity, and a smartphone! When you express all your feelings and intentions, you’re sure to make her melt.\\nSend the clip via text or direct message. Check if she'd be okay with you sharing it on social media, too. She might be really touched if you share your feelings for her publicly.\\nHere's another bonus—you can keep re-recording your message until you feel like it's perfect and ready for her to see.\\nIf you really want to go \\\"all in,\\\" list all the reasons you like her and fell for her, then wrap it up by asking her to be your valentine.\\n1-10. Hand her a Valentine’s Day card.\\nWhile this is pretty obvious, it's still a well-loved, classic approach. Want extra brownie points? Make it yourself to infuse it with some extra love and care! Get some nice cardstock, fold it in half, cut hearts out of red or pink construction paper, and glue them on. Use your best handwriting to tell her how she’d be the best valentine for you.\\nNot feeling particularly crafty? No worries! Just be super discerning when you look through potential V-day cards at the supermarket or online. Definitely keep her personality and tastes in mind when to find the best one.\\nFor example, if she's more traditional and romantic, she might like a really feminine card with flowers on it. However, if she likes to goof off with you, she'd probably enjoy a jokey card that treats her to a punchline when she opens it up.\\n1-11. Woo her by proving you've been paying attention to what she likes.\\nThere’s no way you’ll be generic when you think about what makes her tick. When you ask her to be your valentine, take into account her hobbies, extracurriculars, and favorite colors, animals, foods, and places. For example, maybe she’s nuts for roller derby, adores polka dots, and loves the park. Arrange a picnic for her and gift her with a set of polka dot roller skates. Your niche valentine will knock her socks off!\\nAnother example: if she donates to charities and loves animals, get her a stuffed elephant from a non-profit that supports animal welfare. If you also know she loves hiking and the color orange, bake her cupcakes with orange icing and hit some trails with her.\\n2. Asking Directly\\n2-1. Gather some intel from her friends.\\nBefore you shoot your shot, make sure she’s actually single. Talk to a couple of her buddies, let them know that you’ve had your eye on her, and ask them if she’s available. Who knows—they might reveal that she’s been crushing on you and has been waiting for you to make your move.\\nThey may even give you some tips about how to woo her. For example, maybe she’s a little on the shy side or needs some time to warm up to someone, so she likes to text before going on a date.\\n2-2. Keep it simple.\\nIt’s only natural to think about all the things you should say or imagine a ton of scenarios. Don’t sweat it, though. Asking a girl to be your valentine should be fun and chill! Just tell her you’d love to spend Valentine’s Day with her. To sweeten the deal, compliment her. If you want to chat about how compatible you are, bring up what you have in common or enjoy doing together.\\nPraise both her looks and her personality: \\\"I've always found you really cute, and most importantly, you make me laugh. You're so witty and sharp!\\\"\\nPoint out interests you both share: \\\"It's been so fun being on the Debate Team with you. I can tell how passionate you are about making your case. I'm the exact same way!\\\"\\n2-3. Practice what you’ll say to boost your confidence.\\nIt's super charming to go through the effort of approaching a girl and asking her to be your valentine, so major props to you. To make sure you totally dazzle her, rehearse your spiel ahead of time. Stand in front of a mirror and focus on being calm and direct. Use good posture, look forward, and keep your hands out of your pocket. All these small details really count and help build chemistry and attraction right away.\\nAbove all, remember to just be yourself. You can be upbeat or casual—it all boils down to what’s natural for you. She’ll dig your authenticity.\\nStart off with a polite “hello”: “Hey! It’s good to see you.” Then, show interest in her day: “How’s it going?”\\nFinally, smile and cut to the chase—tell her exactly why you approached her: “I’d love to get together on Valentine’s Day. I think we’d have a lot of fun.”\\n3. Minding the Details\\n3-1. Dress nicely on the day you ask her.\\nWhile you don’t have to pull out all the stops, you should make an effort to impress her. Pick out a nice outfit and make sure you’re properly groomed. If you smell nice and look great, you’ll definitely capture her attention. Don’t worry about being super formal—just look put together to make the moment super special for her. If all else fails, wear something that makes you feel great. Confidence is attractive to everyone!\\nNow, if you’d like to put on a signature scent and wear a killer outfit, like a designer shirt and new jeans, it might give you an extra edge.\\n3-2. Ask her in person, over the phone, or on social media.\\nYour approach all depends on what makes you feel comfortable. If you like to connect in real time, talking in person can show her how sincere you are. However, if you’re a little more shy, it might be easier to text her or reach out on Facebook or Instagram. Trust your instincts: whatever feels right is the best move.\\nTalk to her when she has time to consider being your valentine. For example, she’ll probably feel too rushed if you try to catch her during a passing period. Instead, reach out at lunch or when you know she’ll be home.\\n3-3. Be specific about what you want to do on Valentine’s Day.\\nTo build up her anticipation and give her a sense of what she’s in for, paint a picture of the plans you made. Bring up whether you want to take her out to lunch or dinner. If you had an activity in mind, like ice skating or going to the movies, let her know. Tell her it’s your treat and you’ll pay for everything since you’re asking her out.\\nFor example, you can say, “I’d love to take you out to dinner. Then, we can hit up that glow golf spot—I hear it’s a blast,\\\" or \\\"Let's grab coffee and end with a trivia night: I'm dying to see which of us would win!\\\"\\nAlso give her some input so you can give her the best experience: “I was thinking that we can spend the afternoon at the lake. The weather will be perfect for it. I can rent a boat for us, and I’ll bring a picnic basket. What’re your favorite picnic foods?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you like a girl, asking her to be your valentine is a great way to let her know how you feel. There are lots of creative and fun ways to ask her, or you can just be direct. No matter how you ask, make sure you have a good plan for the two of you to spend time together on Valentine’s Day.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Being Creative\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send her a gift as a cutesy token of your affection.\", \"描述\": \"Feel free to get clever and punny. For example, buy her a pizza decorated with a heart formed out of pepperoni and scrawl, “I know it’s cheesy, but…will you be my valentine?” on the lid. Or, get her a small stuffed animal holding a sign with the same question. Whether you express yourself with food or a romantic memento, you’re sure to win her over.\\nUp-level a bar of chocolate by putting a cute note on it, like a short and simple, \\\"Will you be my valentine?\\\"\\nYou can also put a label on a bucket of popcorn and write, \\\"In my eyes, you're perfect! I'm not just buttering you up!\\\" on it. Then, give it to her and ask if she'll catch a movie with you.\\nOr, you can give her a s'mores kit that's packed in a mason jar and tie a little sign on it that says, \\\"There's nothing I like s'more than you!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Surprise her with a beautiful bouquet.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to Valentine’s Day, you can never go wrong with flowers. They’re a fresh and spontaneous way to perk up her spirits, and they basically scream romance. To brighten her mood even more, deliver them when she’s at work or school—it’ll make her glow with pride and impress everyone around her.\\nTry to remember what her favorite flowers are or get some hints from her friends. For instance, she may prefer tiger lilies or tulips. When in doubt, you can never go wrong with a lush bouquet of red roses.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Whip up some baked goods just for her.\", \"描述\": \"After all, the way to a girl’s heart is through her stomach! Are you more of an amateur baker? Follow a recipe to the tee and start with a meaningful but basic treat, like a batch of brownies or cookies. Maybe you’re a cooking enthusiast? Make her something indulgent that requires more skill: put together macarons or bake an exquisite cake.\\nTo go the extra mile, make your baked goods with heart-shaped trays and choose colors like pink or red. Use a small piping bag to scrawl a short and sweet message on your mouth-watering treats, like \\\"be mine,\\\" \\\"xoxo,\\\" or \\\"Happy V-day!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Serve up some latte art to put a smile on her face.\", \"描述\": \"Use a coffee stencil to create a cute design, like a heart or a flower. Want to go above and beyond? Spend some dough on a customized stencil so you can spell out her name or give her a special message that proclaims your love and affection. Your special sentiment will taste so sweet!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Arrange a scavenger hunt\", \"描述\": \"Hide objects around her school or at your place, then present her with a list to mull over. For example, tape a cute selfie to her locker, hide a corsage in your glove compartment, and wait at the cafeteria to hand her a big box of chocolates as her final prize. When she meets up with you, drop the age-old question: will she be your valentine?\\nHere's an example clue to inspire you. Say you wanted to direct her to your school's track field. You might plant clue #1 in her locker, with this note: To \\\"track\\\" down the first clue, \\\"race\\\" over to the spot where we first met 1 year ago.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Spell out your feelings with chocolate kisses.\", \"描述\": \"For a tongue-in-cheek valentine message, find a spot you know she’ll be, like her front door step or her locker. Form a heart out of chocolate kisses right on the ground. Then, drop this note in the center of it: “Now that I have kissed the ground that you walk on, will you be my valentine?” She’ll get a real kick out of it!\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Incorporate your creative talents into your proposal.\", \"描述\": \"Brainstorm ways to show off your special talents and skills when you ask her out. For example, if you’re a singer and part of the Glee Club, you can serenade her. In fact, you can get some of your other musically inclined friends to help out and make it a valentine she’ll always remember! Whatever you go with, she’ll adore what you came up with because you really put your heart into it.\\nHere are some other scenarios to inspire you: if you’re an artist, you can draw a portrait of her; if you’re in a Fundamentals of Welding class, you can forge a pendant for her. In both of these cases, she’ll have a memento she can cherish forever.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Make a romantic V-day playlist she can jam out to.\", \"描述\": \"Think about the genres that she seems to like. Whether it’s pop, punk, or alternative rock, it’s important to treat her to some ear candy she actually enjoys! For an extra special touch, gradually dial up the romance—start with a song about having a crush, then end with one that hints you have serious feelings for her.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Record a video love letter to make her heart skip a beat.\", \"描述\": \"For a super bold way to ask a girl out and to request that she be your valentine, create a vid just for her: all you need is bravery, sincerity, and a smartphone! When you express all your feelings and intentions, you’re sure to make her melt.\\nSend the clip via text or direct message. Check if she'd be okay with you sharing it on social media, too. She might be really touched if you share your feelings for her publicly.\\nHere's another bonus—you can keep re-recording your message until you feel like it's perfect and ready for her to see.\\nIf you really want to go \\\"all in,\\\" list all the reasons you like her and fell for her, then wrap it up by asking her to be your valentine.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Hand her a Valentine’s Day card.\", \"描述\": \"While this is pretty obvious, it's still a well-loved, classic approach. Want extra brownie points? Make it yourself to infuse it with some extra love and care! Get some nice cardstock, fold it in half, cut hearts out of red or pink construction paper, and glue them on. Use your best handwriting to tell her how she’d be the best valentine for you.\\nNot feeling particularly crafty? No worries! Just be super discerning when you look through potential V-day cards at the supermarket or online. Definitely keep her personality and tastes in mind when to find the best one.\\nFor example, if she's more traditional and romantic, she might like a really feminine card with flowers on it. However, if she likes to goof off with you, she'd probably enjoy a jokey card that treats her to a punchline when she opens it up.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Woo her by proving you've been paying attention to what she likes.\", \"描述\": \"There’s no way you’ll be generic when you think about what makes her tick. When you ask her to be your valentine, take into account her hobbies, extracurriculars, and favorite colors, animals, foods, and places. For example, maybe she’s nuts for roller derby, adores polka dots, and loves the park. Arrange a picnic for her and gift her with a set of polka dot roller skates. Your niche valentine will knock her socks off!\\nAnother example: if she donates to charities and loves animals, get her a stuffed elephant from a non-profit that supports animal welfare. If you also know she loves hiking and the color orange, bake her cupcakes with orange icing and hit some trails with her.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Directly\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Gather some intel from her friends.\", \"描述\": \"Before you shoot your shot, make sure she’s actually single. Talk to a couple of her buddies, let them know that you’ve had your eye on her, and ask them if she’s available. Who knows—they might reveal that she’s been crushing on you and has been waiting for you to make your move.\\nThey may even give you some tips about how to woo her. For example, maybe she’s a little on the shy side or needs some time to warm up to someone, so she likes to text before going on a date.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple.\", \"描述\": \"It’s only natural to think about all the things you should say or imagine a ton of scenarios. Don’t sweat it, though. Asking a girl to be your valentine should be fun and chill! Just tell her you’d love to spend Valentine’s Day with her. To sweeten the deal, compliment her. If you want to chat about how compatible you are, bring up what you have in common or enjoy doing together.\\nPraise both her looks and her personality: \\\"I've always found you really cute, and most importantly, you make me laugh. You're so witty and sharp!\\\"\\nPoint out interests you both share: \\\"It's been so fun being on the Debate Team with you. I can tell how passionate you are about making your case. I'm the exact same way!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Practice what you’ll say to boost your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"It's super charming to go through the effort of approaching a girl and asking her to be your valentine, so major props to you. To make sure you totally dazzle her, rehearse your spiel ahead of time. Stand in front of a mirror and focus on being calm and direct. Use good posture, look forward, and keep your hands out of your pocket. All these small details really count and help build chemistry and attraction right away.\\nAbove all, remember to just be yourself. You can be upbeat or casual—it all boils down to what’s natural for you. She’ll dig your authenticity.\\nStart off with a polite “hello”: “Hey! It’s good to see you.” Then, show interest in her day: “How’s it going?”\\nFinally, smile and cut to the chase—tell her exactly why you approached her: “I’d love to get together on Valentine’s Day. I think we’d have a lot of fun.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Minding the Details\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Dress nicely on the day you ask her.\", \"描述\": \"While you don’t have to pull out all the stops, you should make an effort to impress her. Pick out a nice outfit and make sure you’re properly groomed. If you smell nice and look great, you’ll definitely capture her attention. Don’t worry about being super formal—just look put together to make the moment super special for her. If all else fails, wear something that makes you feel great. Confidence is attractive to everyone!\\nNow, if you’d like to put on a signature scent and wear a killer outfit, like a designer shirt and new jeans, it might give you an extra edge.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her in person, over the phone, or on social media.\", \"描述\": \"Your approach all depends on what makes you feel comfortable. If you like to connect in real time, talking in person can show her how sincere you are. However, if you’re a little more shy, it might be easier to text her or reach out on Facebook or Instagram. Trust your instincts: whatever feels right is the best move.\\nTalk to her when she has time to consider being your valentine. For example, she’ll probably feel too rushed if you try to catch her during a passing period. Instead, reach out at lunch or when you know she’ll be home.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific about what you want to do on Valentine’s Day.\", \"描述\": \"To build up her anticipation and give her a sense of what she’s in for, paint a picture of the plans you made. Bring up whether you want to take her out to lunch or dinner. If you had an activity in mind, like ice skating or going to the movies, let her know. Tell her it’s your treat and you’ll pay for everything since you’re asking her out.\\nFor example, you can say, “I’d love to take you out to dinner. Then, we can hit up that glow golf spot—I hear it’s a blast,\\\" or \\\"Let's grab coffee and end with a trivia night: I'm dying to see which of us would win!\\\"\\nAlso give her some input so you can give her the best experience: “I was thinking that we can spend the afternoon at the lake. The weather will be perfect for it. I can rent a boat for us, and I’ll bring a picnic basket. What’re your favorite picnic foods?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,560 | How to Ask a Girl to Dance | 1. How can you tell if a girl wants to dance?
1-1. Look at her body language.
If you make eye contact from across the room (especially if she smiles at you), she might be interested in dancing with you. If the girl seems to be avoiding eye contact at all costs, then it's probably a good sign she isn't interested. In that case, no worries! You can look around the room for another partner.
1-2. Make sure the girl doesn’t already have a dance partner.
Wait a few minutes before approaching her and see if she’s looking around the room for a partner, or if she’s with someone else already.
2. How do you approach a girl to ask her to dance?
2-1. Approach her from the front so she sees you coming.
Walk towards her directly so she sees that you are probably coming over to talk or ask her to dance. This gives her the chance to prepare (or walk away if she wants to). If you’re feeling nervous about approaching her, remember to stand up tall and take a deep breath. You’ve got this!
If she’s standing with her back to you, either move around to face her or politely say “hi” to get her attention.
Never start by grabbing or touching her. Asking a girl to dance should always start with a simple, straightforward question.
2-2. Smile and make eye contact.
Eye contact and a warm smile will show that you are friendly and confident. Do this while you’re walking over to her if she is looking at you.
3. How do you ask a girl to dance at a club?
Naturally transition from dancing by yourself to dancing with her.
When the music’s blaring, it can be hard to ask someone to dance without shouting. The easiest way to ask a girl to dance with you at the club is to start dancing by yourself and eventually make your way towards her to let her make a move. Show interest by making eye contact once or twice while you’re dancing near her. Approach her from the front until you’re dancing in front of her. Without physical contact, see if she’ll follow your dance moves or approach you to get closer.
It’s probably going to be really loud, but you can still lean in and say, “Hey! I’m [your name]. Nice to meet you.”
Keep what you’re saying short so it doesn’t get lost in the club noise. Try saying “Hey, how’s it going?” or giving her a compliment like “You’re the first girl I noticed here.”
If you’re not a great dancer, it's totally fine! Keep your dance moves fun and you can even get a little silly. The goal is to show that you’re having fun and not taking yourself too seriously.
Don’t make her think you’re creepy. Don’t touch, grab, or make physical contact with a girl who is dancing as a way to try and initiate a dance.
4. How do you ask a girl to dance at prom?
4-1. If she’s not on the dance floor yet, strike up a casual conversation.
Start by making eye contact and giving her a friendly smile. If she’s with a group of friends, it can be a little intimidating to get in there, but you can do it! Just take a deep breath, walk up with a smile, and say “hi” to everyone there to make them feel comfortable with you talking to their friend. After you’ve said “hi,” or talked long enough to feel comfortable, you can ask her “Would you like to dance?” or “Do you want to go dance?”
4-2. If she’s already on the dance floor, start by dancing on your own.
Whether you’re captain of the dance team, or not quite sure what to do with your arms when you’re dancing, it’s okay! Just listen to the music and act like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself. Catch her eye or mirror her dance moves to see if she’s willing to engage with you. After a few seconds of dancing, you can offer her your hands to dance together (if your school rules let you dance with a partner).
5. How do you ask a girl to dance formally or for a slow dance?
5-1. You don't have to say anything complicated.
Even in a ballroom dance setting, a simple “Would you like to dance?” or “Would you care to dance?” works just fine. If you’re feeling nervous, practice it a few times in your head before you go over to talk to her.
Enunciate and speak slowly to show that you’re calm and confident.
5-2. Offer your left hand to lead her to the dance floor if she says yes.
It's more common to lead the girl by the hand for certain types of dances, like salsa, for example, in which you will be holding hands for pretty much the whole dance. Just let her follow you if she doesn't take your hand.
6. What do you say while you’re dancing?
6-1. Introduce yourself while you’re dancing.
If you’re in a place where the music isn’t too loud, or at formal dance setting, a simple introduction makes it more comfortable to dance with each other (if you don't know each other already). You don't have to spark up a full conversation, although you can make small talk if that feels more comfortable, or if you want to get to know her.
Say something like, “My name's John, by the way, what's your name?” Follow it up with something like, “What brings you out tonight?” if you want to continue the conversation while dancing.
You don't have to wait until you’re dancing to make the introduction. Just do whatever feels most natural and comfortable.
6-2. If it’s too loud, you can save the conversation for later.
When the music is blasting, you and your dance partner might have trouble hearing each other. Don’t sweat it. Just save the conversation for later to avoid miscommunication or having to yell in each other’s ears. You can talk when you go take a break from dancing or when you go to grab a drink.
7. What do you do when the dance is over?
7-1. Say “thank you” when you’re done dancing.
Smile and be genuine with your thanks when the song or dance ends. When you’re respectful, it goes a long way towards making dancing a fun interaction for everyone. Plus, it’s especially important to be polite and kind if you want to get to know the girl beyond dancing!
7-2. Escort her off the dance floor.
In social dance or formal settings, follow proper etiquette by escorting your partner back to where you met them (or just off the dance floor).
Don't take it personally if she wants to dance with someone different after you, or if she just wants to take a break, or go back to dancing or talking with her friends. In styles of ballroom or social dance, it’s normal for people to change partners frequently.
8. What do you say if a girl doesn’t want to dance?
8-1. Be polite to keep the door open to dancing later.
It can feel rough to get rejected, but don’t let it get you down! To respond to the “no,” politely say something like “You’re a great dancer, and if you’d like to dance later, I’ll be over there.” Being prepared for her to say “no” and respectfully accepting the rejection will make you seem confident and keep the door open if she changes her mind.
8-2. Politely walk away and don’t take it personally.
Know that a “no” isn't necessarily a negative reflection of you. A girl can have endless reasons for not wanting to dance with you. Brush off the rejection and don't let it hurt your confidence. There are plenty of other girls to dance with!
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. How can you tell if a girl wants to dance?\\n1-1. Look at her body language.\\nIf you make eye contact from across the room (especially if she smiles at you), she might be interested in dancing with you. If the girl seems to be avoiding eye contact at all costs, then it's probably a good sign she isn't interested. In that case, no worries! You can look around the room for another partner.\\n1-2. Make sure the girl doesn’t already have a dance partner.\\nWait a few minutes before approaching her and see if she’s looking around the room for a partner, or if she’s with someone else already.\\n2. How do you approach a girl to ask her to dance?\\n2-1. Approach her from the front so she sees you coming.\\nWalk towards her directly so she sees that you are probably coming over to talk or ask her to dance. This gives her the chance to prepare (or walk away if she wants to). If you’re feeling nervous about approaching her, remember to stand up tall and take a deep breath. You’ve got this!\\nIf she’s standing with her back to you, either move around to face her or politely say “hi” to get her attention.\\nNever start by grabbing or touching her. Asking a girl to dance should always start with a simple, straightforward question.\\n2-2. Smile and make eye contact.\\nEye contact and a warm smile will show that you are friendly and confident. Do this while you’re walking over to her if she is looking at you.\\n3. How do you ask a girl to dance at a club?\\nNaturally transition from dancing by yourself to dancing with her.\\nWhen the music’s blaring, it can be hard to ask someone to dance without shouting. The easiest way to ask a girl to dance with you at the club is to start dancing by yourself and eventually make your way towards her to let her make a move. Show interest by making eye contact once or twice while you’re dancing near her. Approach her from the front until you’re dancing in front of her. Without physical contact, see if she’ll follow your dance moves or approach you to get closer.\\nIt’s probably going to be really loud, but you can still lean in and say, “Hey! I’m [your name]. Nice to meet you.”\\nKeep what you’re saying short so it doesn’t get lost in the club noise. Try saying “Hey, how’s it going?” or giving her a compliment like “You’re the first girl I noticed here.”\\nIf you’re not a great dancer, it's totally fine! Keep your dance moves fun and you can even get a little silly. The goal is to show that you’re having fun and not taking yourself too seriously.\\nDon’t make her think you’re creepy. Don’t touch, grab, or make physical contact with a girl who is dancing as a way to try and initiate a dance.\\n4. How do you ask a girl to dance at prom?\\n4-1. If she’s not on the dance floor yet, strike up a casual conversation.\\nStart by making eye contact and giving her a friendly smile. If she’s with a group of friends, it can be a little intimidating to get in there, but you can do it! Just take a deep breath, walk up with a smile, and say “hi” to everyone there to make them feel comfortable with you talking to their friend. After you’ve said “hi,” or talked long enough to feel comfortable, you can ask her “Would you like to dance?” or “Do you want to go dance?”\\n4-2. If she’s already on the dance floor, start by dancing on your own.\\nWhether you’re captain of the dance team, or not quite sure what to do with your arms when you’re dancing, it’s okay! Just listen to the music and act like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself. Catch her eye or mirror her dance moves to see if she’s willing to engage with you. After a few seconds of dancing, you can offer her your hands to dance together (if your school rules let you dance with a partner).\\n5. How do you ask a girl to dance formally or for a slow dance?\\n5-1. You don't have to say anything complicated.\\nEven in a ballroom dance setting, a simple “Would you like to dance?” or “Would you care to dance?” works just fine. If you’re feeling nervous, practice it a few times in your head before you go over to talk to her.\\nEnunciate and speak slowly to show that you’re calm and confident.\\n5-2. Offer your left hand to lead her to the dance floor if she says yes.\\nIt's more common to lead the girl by the hand for certain types of dances, like salsa, for example, in which you will be holding hands for pretty much the whole dance. Just let her follow you if she doesn't take your hand.\\n6. What do you say while you’re dancing?\\n6-1. Introduce yourself while you’re dancing.\\nIf you’re in a place where the music isn’t too loud, or at formal dance setting, a simple introduction makes it more comfortable to dance with each other (if you don't know each other already). You don't have to spark up a full conversation, although you can make small talk if that feels more comfortable, or if you want to get to know her.\\nSay something like, “My name's John, by the way, what's your name?” Follow it up with something like, “What brings you out tonight?” if you want to continue the conversation while dancing.\\nYou don't have to wait until you’re dancing to make the introduction. Just do whatever feels most natural and comfortable.\\n6-2. If it’s too loud, you can save the conversation for later.\\nWhen the music is blasting, you and your dance partner might have trouble hearing each other. Don’t sweat it. Just save the conversation for later to avoid miscommunication or having to yell in each other’s ears. You can talk when you go take a break from dancing or when you go to grab a drink.\\n7. What do you do when the dance is over?\\n7-1. Say “thank you” when you’re done dancing.\\nSmile and be genuine with your thanks when the song or dance ends. When you’re respectful, it goes a long way towards making dancing a fun interaction for everyone. Plus, it’s especially important to be polite and kind if you want to get to know the girl beyond dancing!\\n7-2. Escort her off the dance floor.\\nIn social dance or formal settings, follow proper etiquette by escorting your partner back to where you met them (or just off the dance floor).\\nDon't take it personally if she wants to dance with someone different after you, or if she just wants to take a break, or go back to dancing or talking with her friends. In styles of ballroom or social dance, it’s normal for people to change partners frequently.\\n8. What do you say if a girl doesn’t want to dance?\\n8-1. Be polite to keep the door open to dancing later.\\nIt can feel rough to get rejected, but don’t let it get you down! To respond to the “no,” politely say something like “You’re a great dancer, and if you’d like to dance later, I’ll be over there.” Being prepared for her to say “no” and respectfully accepting the rejection will make you seem confident and keep the door open if she changes her mind.\\n8-2. Politely walk away and don’t take it personally.\\nKnow that a “no” isn't necessarily a negative reflection of you. A girl can have endless reasons for not wanting to dance with you. Brush off the rejection and don't let it hurt your confidence. There are plenty of other girls to dance with!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you're at a party, a club, dance, or anyplace with great music, you might want to ask a girl to dance with you! Asking a girl to dance can seem nerve-wracking, but when you know the right way to do it, you can make the experience easy and fun for both of you. We’ve answered your most common questions on asking a girl to dance so that you can be confident, respectful, and most importantly, have fun dancing!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"How can you tell if a girl wants to dance?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Look at her body language.\", \"描述\": \"If you make eye contact from across the room (especially if she smiles at you), she might be interested in dancing with you. If the girl seems to be avoiding eye contact at all costs, then it's probably a good sign she isn't interested. In that case, no worries! You can look around the room for another partner.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make sure the girl doesn’t already have a dance partner.\", \"描述\": \"Wait a few minutes before approaching her and see if she’s looking around the room for a partner, or if she’s with someone else already.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"How do you approach a girl to ask her to dance?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approach her from the front so she sees you coming.\", \"描述\": \"Walk towards her directly so she sees that you are probably coming over to talk or ask her to dance. This gives her the chance to prepare (or walk away if she wants to). If you’re feeling nervous about approaching her, remember to stand up tall and take a deep breath. You’ve got this!\\nIf she’s standing with her back to you, either move around to face her or politely say “hi” to get her attention.\\nNever start by grabbing or touching her. Asking a girl to dance should always start with a simple, straightforward question.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Smile and make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact and a warm smile will show that you are friendly and confident. Do this while you’re walking over to her if she is looking at you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"How do you ask a girl to dance at a club?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Naturally transition from dancing by yourself to dancing with her.\", \"描述\": \"When the music’s blaring, it can be hard to ask someone to dance without shouting. The easiest way to ask a girl to dance with you at the club is to start dancing by yourself and eventually make your way towards her to let her make a move. Show interest by making eye contact once or twice while you’re dancing near her. Approach her from the front until you’re dancing in front of her. Without physical contact, see if she’ll follow your dance moves or approach you to get closer.\\nIt’s probably going to be really loud, but you can still lean in and say, “Hey! I’m [your name]. Nice to meet you.”\\nKeep what you’re saying short so it doesn’t get lost in the club noise. Try saying “Hey, how’s it going?” or giving her a compliment like “You’re the first girl I noticed here.”\\nIf you’re not a great dancer, it's totally fine! Keep your dance moves fun and you can even get a little silly. The goal is to show that you’re having fun and not taking yourself too seriously.\\nDon’t make her think you’re creepy. Don’t touch, grab, or make physical contact with a girl who is dancing as a way to try and initiate a dance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"How do you ask a girl to dance at prom?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If she’s not on the dance floor yet, strike up a casual conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Start by making eye contact and giving her a friendly smile. If she’s with a group of friends, it can be a little intimidating to get in there, but you can do it! Just take a deep breath, walk up with a smile, and say “hi” to everyone there to make them feel comfortable with you talking to their friend. After you’ve said “hi,” or talked long enough to feel comfortable, you can ask her “Would you like to dance?” or “Do you want to go dance?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If she’s already on the dance floor, start by dancing on your own.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re captain of the dance team, or not quite sure what to do with your arms when you’re dancing, it’s okay! Just listen to the music and act like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself. Catch her eye or mirror her dance moves to see if she’s willing to engage with you. After a few seconds of dancing, you can offer her your hands to dance together (if your school rules let you dance with a partner).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"How do you ask a girl to dance formally or for a slow dance?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don't have to say anything complicated.\", \"描述\": \"Even in a ballroom dance setting, a simple “Would you like to dance?” or “Would you care to dance?” works just fine. If you’re feeling nervous, practice it a few times in your head before you go over to talk to her.\\nEnunciate and speak slowly to show that you’re calm and confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer your left hand to lead her to the dance floor if she says yes.\", \"描述\": \"It's more common to lead the girl by the hand for certain types of dances, like salsa, for example, in which you will be holding hands for pretty much the whole dance. Just let her follow you if she doesn't take your hand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"What do you say while you’re dancing?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself while you’re dancing.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re in a place where the music isn’t too loud, or at formal dance setting, a simple introduction makes it more comfortable to dance with each other (if you don't know each other already). You don't have to spark up a full conversation, although you can make small talk if that feels more comfortable, or if you want to get to know her.\\nSay something like, “My name's John, by the way, what's your name?” Follow it up with something like, “What brings you out tonight?” if you want to continue the conversation while dancing.\\nYou don't have to wait until you’re dancing to make the introduction. Just do whatever feels most natural and comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"If it’s too loud, you can save the conversation for later.\", \"描述\": \"When the music is blasting, you and your dance partner might have trouble hearing each other. Don’t sweat it. Just save the conversation for later to avoid miscommunication or having to yell in each other’s ears. You can talk when you go take a break from dancing or when you go to grab a drink.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"What do you do when the dance is over?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say “thank you” when you’re done dancing.\", \"描述\": \"Smile and be genuine with your thanks when the song or dance ends. When you’re respectful, it goes a long way towards making dancing a fun interaction for everyone. Plus, it’s especially important to be polite and kind if you want to get to know the girl beyond dancing!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Escort her off the dance floor.\", \"描述\": \"In social dance or formal settings, follow proper etiquette by escorting your partner back to where you met them (or just off the dance floor).\\nDon't take it personally if she wants to dance with someone different after you, or if she just wants to take a break, or go back to dancing or talking with her friends. In styles of ballroom or social dance, it’s normal for people to change partners frequently.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"What do you say if a girl doesn’t want to dance?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be polite to keep the door open to dancing later.\", \"描述\": \"It can feel rough to get rejected, but don’t let it get you down! To respond to the “no,” politely say something like “You’re a great dancer, and if you’d like to dance later, I’ll be over there.” Being prepared for her to say “no” and respectfully accepting the rejection will make you seem confident and keep the door open if she changes her mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Politely walk away and don’t take it personally.\", \"描述\": \"Know that a “no” isn't necessarily a negative reflection of you. A girl can have endless reasons for not wanting to dance with you. Brush off the rejection and don't let it hurt your confidence. There are plenty of other girls to dance with!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,561 | How to Ask a Girl to Hang Out | 1. Keeping it Casual
1-1. Invite her along to things you plan on doing anyway.
Be subtle and natural with the girl you want to hang out with by inviting her to activities you were already planning on doing. If you plan on going to a barbeque, ask her if she wants to hang out there. Enjoy yourself regardless of whether she comes along or not.
Say, “Hey, I’m going to this cookout tomorrow if you want to stop by.”
Say, “A bunch of us are going to try this new restaurant if you want to try it too.”
1-2. Say "Hello" when you see her.
You don't need to make lengthy conversations or stumble over words if you see the girl you want to hang out with in public. A simple “Hey” or “Hello” so she knows you notice her is the perfect way to play it cool. Make eye contact and say “Hey”, when you pass her or you’re in the same room.
1-3. Find an open-ended invitation to gauge her interest.
Open-ended invitations don’t tie you to a specific time frame or activity and are a great way see how likely a girl is to accept more specific invitations. Keep it brief and don’t overthink it. Then, look at the girl’s reaction to see how interested she is in hanging out. Plan the invitation around a group activity, if you’re still deciding whether you just want to be friends.
Say, “Do you wanna grab lunch sometime?”
Say, in a group setting “We should all get together soon.”
1-4. Be cheerful when you try to make plans.
People like to hang out with happy people they perceive as fun, because who wants to hang out and not have fun? Smile when you ask the girl you want to hang out with to do something. Talk about positive things and keep the conversation light.
2. Hanging Out in Groups
2-1. Invite her to do something with you and your friends.
An easy way to start hanging out with a girl is by introducing her to your existing group of friends. Determine if she has things in common with you and your friends by making chit-chat and asking about her interests. If it seems like everyone shares common ground, invite her along to your next group outing. Say:
“We’re all going out tonight if you want to join us.”
“My friends and I are going to see that new movie. We’d love for you to come too.”
“Hey, we’re cooking out tomorrow. Do you want to stop by?”
2-2. Find something you both have in common.
Plan something the girl you’re interested in likes too, so the more likely it is she’ll hang out. Make small talk and be observant when you interact with her to find out about the things she likes. If you both like basketball, invite her and at least 3 to 4 more friends to watch the next big game. Start talking about some of the things you like to do in order to start asking her about what she likes.
Say, "I can't wait to get on a boat! Have you been to the lake yet this season?"
Say, "My video game skills are hurting. I have to practice. Are you a gamer?"
Say, "Soccer is a high-energy sport. Do you like watching it?"
2-3. Extend an invitation at a convenient place.
Whatever girl you want to hang out with will appreciate a venue that is convenient for her to get to. Find out the areas she frequents and ask her to hang out when you’re nearby with mutual friends or acquaintances. Ask her what she likes to do on the weekends to get more of an idea of where she hangs out. You can also ask something along these lines:
"Midtown has such cool shops and restaurants. Have you been down there?"
"Have you been downtown lately? They have some really good bands that play on the weekend."
"I went hiking a while back and got so sore. Have you been to the state park south of here?"
3. Doing Stuff Together
3-1. Make specific plans.
Once you’ve tested to see how interested a girl is in hanging out by making open-ended invitations, you may be ready to make specific plans. Ask her to hang out at a certain time doing a certain activity. Never pressure her to make a decision, but try to make specific plans. Say:
“Do you want to go to this concert next weekend?”
“How about lunch tomorrow?”
“Wanna go to the football game on Wednesday?”
3-2. Make spur-of-the-moment plans.
Trying to make spontaneous plans can seem like added pressure, but since they’re so last minute, the sting of rejection may be lessened. It’s totally understandable if someone can’t drop what they’re doing to hang out. Strike up a conversation with the girl you want to hang out with and say something like:
“Do you want to grab some coffee?”
“Hey, are you hungry? I was about to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to go with?”
“The weather is awesome! Let’s go for a bike ride!”
3-3. Give her options for times and activities.
If you really want to hang out with a girl, you should make the process as simple for her as possible. She could have a busy schedule, so give her choices on times, days and things-to-do. Tell her about something you’d like to do that sounds cool and talk about different days you could get together. Vary the activities you suggest in case she wants to do one thing more than the other. Say:
"This new movie looks so funny. Could you watch it Thursday or Saturday? There's another good movie coming out too, I think."
"A street festival is going on next weekend, but I think some food trucks are going to be at the art's district this weekend."
"My favorite band is coming to town next month! There's a new sushi spot opening soon too."
Warnings
If a girl always has an excuse why she can’t hang out, it means she’s probably not interested.
After a girl shoots you down three times, don’t keep asking her to hang out.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Keeping it Casual\\n1-1. Invite her along to things you plan on doing anyway.\\nBe subtle and natural with the girl you want to hang out with by inviting her to activities you were already planning on doing. If you plan on going to a barbeque, ask her if she wants to hang out there. Enjoy yourself regardless of whether she comes along or not.\\nSay, “Hey, I’m going to this cookout tomorrow if you want to stop by.”\\nSay, “A bunch of us are going to try this new restaurant if you want to try it too.”\\n1-2. Say \\\"Hello\\\" when you see her.\\nYou don't need to make lengthy conversations or stumble over words if you see the girl you want to hang out with in public. A simple “Hey” or “Hello” so she knows you notice her is the perfect way to play it cool. Make eye contact and say “Hey”, when you pass her or you’re in the same room.\\n1-3. Find an open-ended invitation to gauge her interest.\\nOpen-ended invitations don’t tie you to a specific time frame or activity and are a great way see how likely a girl is to accept more specific invitations. Keep it brief and don’t overthink it. Then, look at the girl’s reaction to see how interested she is in hanging out. Plan the invitation around a group activity, if you’re still deciding whether you just want to be friends.\\nSay, “Do you wanna grab lunch sometime?”\\nSay, in a group setting “We should all get together soon.”\\n1-4. Be cheerful when you try to make plans.\\nPeople like to hang out with happy people they perceive as fun, because who wants to hang out and not have fun? Smile when you ask the girl you want to hang out with to do something. Talk about positive things and keep the conversation light.\\n2. Hanging Out in Groups\\n2-1. Invite her to do something with you and your friends.\\nAn easy way to start hanging out with a girl is by introducing her to your existing group of friends. Determine if she has things in common with you and your friends by making chit-chat and asking about her interests. If it seems like everyone shares common ground, invite her along to your next group outing. Say:\\n“We’re all going out tonight if you want to join us.”\\n“My friends and I are going to see that new movie. We’d love for you to come too.”\\n“Hey, we’re cooking out tomorrow. Do you want to stop by?”\\n2-2. Find something you both have in common.\\nPlan something the girl you’re interested in likes too, so the more likely it is she’ll hang out. Make small talk and be observant when you interact with her to find out about the things she likes. If you both like basketball, invite her and at least 3 to 4 more friends to watch the next big game. Start talking about some of the things you like to do in order to start asking her about what she likes.\\nSay, \\\"I can't wait to get on a boat! Have you been to the lake yet this season?\\\"\\nSay, \\\"My video game skills are hurting. I have to practice. Are you a gamer?\\\"\\nSay, \\\"Soccer is a high-energy sport. Do you like watching it?\\\"\\n2-3. Extend an invitation at a convenient place.\\nWhatever girl you want to hang out with will appreciate a venue that is convenient for her to get to. Find out the areas she frequents and ask her to hang out when you’re nearby with mutual friends or acquaintances. Ask her what she likes to do on the weekends to get more of an idea of where she hangs out. You can also ask something along these lines:\\n\\\"Midtown has such cool shops and restaurants. Have you been down there?\\\"\\n\\\"Have you been downtown lately? They have some really good bands that play on the weekend.\\\"\\n\\\"I went hiking a while back and got so sore. Have you been to the state park south of here?\\\"\\n3. Doing Stuff Together\\n3-1. Make specific plans.\\nOnce you’ve tested to see how interested a girl is in hanging out by making open-ended invitations, you may be ready to make specific plans. Ask her to hang out at a certain time doing a certain activity. Never pressure her to make a decision, but try to make specific plans. Say:\\n“Do you want to go to this concert next weekend?”\\n“How about lunch tomorrow?”\\n“Wanna go to the football game on Wednesday?”\\n3-2. Make spur-of-the-moment plans.\\nTrying to make spontaneous plans can seem like added pressure, but since they’re so last minute, the sting of rejection may be lessened. It’s totally understandable if someone can’t drop what they’re doing to hang out. Strike up a conversation with the girl you want to hang out with and say something like:\\n“Do you want to grab some coffee?”\\n“Hey, are you hungry? I was about to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to go with?”\\n“The weather is awesome! Let’s go for a bike ride!”\\n3-3. Give her options for times and activities.\\nIf you really want to hang out with a girl, you should make the process as simple for her as possible. She could have a busy schedule, so give her choices on times, days and things-to-do. Tell her about something you’d like to do that sounds cool and talk about different days you could get together. Vary the activities you suggest in case she wants to do one thing more than the other. Say:\\n\\\"This new movie looks so funny. Could you watch it Thursday or Saturday? There's another good movie coming out too, I think.\\\"\\n\\\"A street festival is going on next weekend, but I think some food trucks are going to be at the art's district this weekend.\\\"\\n\\\"My favorite band is coming to town next month! There's a new sushi spot opening soon too.\\\"\\nWarnings\\nIf a girl always has an excuse why she can’t hang out, it means she’s probably not interested.\\nAfter a girl shoots you down three times, don’t keep asking her to hang out.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a girl to hang out can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you think there's relationship potential. Add on that you may not know her very well and asking to hang out could come off awkward. Regardless of what you know about a girl, you want to know her better if you're contemplating hanging out with her. That means you have to get over any nervousness by keeping invites casual, finding ways to hang out in a group, and doing fun stuff.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keeping it Casual\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite her along to things you plan on doing anyway.\", \"描述\": \"Be subtle and natural with the girl you want to hang out with by inviting her to activities you were already planning on doing. If you plan on going to a barbeque, ask her if she wants to hang out there. Enjoy yourself regardless of whether she comes along or not.\\nSay, “Hey, I’m going to this cookout tomorrow if you want to stop by.”\\nSay, “A bunch of us are going to try this new restaurant if you want to try it too.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Say \\\"Hello\\\" when you see her.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to make lengthy conversations or stumble over words if you see the girl you want to hang out with in public. A simple “Hey” or “Hello” so she knows you notice her is the perfect way to play it cool. Make eye contact and say “Hey”, when you pass her or you’re in the same room.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find an open-ended invitation to gauge her interest.\", \"描述\": \"Open-ended invitations don’t tie you to a specific time frame or activity and are a great way see how likely a girl is to accept more specific invitations. Keep it brief and don’t overthink it. Then, look at the girl’s reaction to see how interested she is in hanging out. Plan the invitation around a group activity, if you’re still deciding whether you just want to be friends.\\nSay, “Do you wanna grab lunch sometime?”\\nSay, in a group setting “We should all get together soon.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be cheerful when you try to make plans.\", \"描述\": \"People like to hang out with happy people they perceive as fun, because who wants to hang out and not have fun? Smile when you ask the girl you want to hang out with to do something. Talk about positive things and keep the conversation light.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hanging Out in Groups\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Invite her to do something with you and your friends.\", \"描述\": \"An easy way to start hanging out with a girl is by introducing her to your existing group of friends. Determine if she has things in common with you and your friends by making chit-chat and asking about her interests. If it seems like everyone shares common ground, invite her along to your next group outing. Say:\\n“We’re all going out tonight if you want to join us.”\\n“My friends and I are going to see that new movie. We’d love for you to come too.”\\n“Hey, we’re cooking out tomorrow. Do you want to stop by?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find something you both have in common.\", \"描述\": \"Plan something the girl you’re interested in likes too, so the more likely it is she’ll hang out. Make small talk and be observant when you interact with her to find out about the things she likes. If you both like basketball, invite her and at least 3 to 4 more friends to watch the next big game. Start talking about some of the things you like to do in order to start asking her about what she likes.\\nSay, \\\"I can't wait to get on a boat! Have you been to the lake yet this season?\\\"\\nSay, \\\"My video game skills are hurting. I have to practice. Are you a gamer?\\\"\\nSay, \\\"Soccer is a high-energy sport. Do you like watching it?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Extend an invitation at a convenient place.\", \"描述\": \"Whatever girl you want to hang out with will appreciate a venue that is convenient for her to get to. Find out the areas she frequents and ask her to hang out when you’re nearby with mutual friends or acquaintances. Ask her what she likes to do on the weekends to get more of an idea of where she hangs out. You can also ask something along these lines:\\n\\\"Midtown has such cool shops and restaurants. Have you been down there?\\\"\\n\\\"Have you been downtown lately? They have some really good bands that play on the weekend.\\\"\\n\\\"I went hiking a while back and got so sore. Have you been to the state park south of here?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Doing Stuff Together\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make specific plans.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve tested to see how interested a girl is in hanging out by making open-ended invitations, you may be ready to make specific plans. Ask her to hang out at a certain time doing a certain activity. Never pressure her to make a decision, but try to make specific plans. Say:\\n“Do you want to go to this concert next weekend?”\\n“How about lunch tomorrow?”\\n“Wanna go to the football game on Wednesday?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make spur-of-the-moment plans.\", \"描述\": \"Trying to make spontaneous plans can seem like added pressure, but since they’re so last minute, the sting of rejection may be lessened. It’s totally understandable if someone can’t drop what they’re doing to hang out. Strike up a conversation with the girl you want to hang out with and say something like:\\n“Do you want to grab some coffee?”\\n“Hey, are you hungry? I was about to grab a bite to eat. Do you want to go with?”\\n“The weather is awesome! Let’s go for a bike ride!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give her options for times and activities.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to hang out with a girl, you should make the process as simple for her as possible. She could have a busy schedule, so give her choices on times, days and things-to-do. Tell her about something you’d like to do that sounds cool and talk about different days you could get together. Vary the activities you suggest in case she wants to do one thing more than the other. Say:\\n\\\"This new movie looks so funny. Could you watch it Thursday or Saturday? There's another good movie coming out too, I think.\\\"\\n\\\"A street festival is going on next weekend, but I think some food trucks are going to be at the art's district this weekend.\\\"\\n\\\"My favorite band is coming to town next month! There's a new sushi spot opening soon too.\\\"\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"If a girl always has an excuse why she can’t hang out, it means she’s probably not interested.\\n\", \"After a girl shoots you down three times, don’t keep asking her to hang out.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,562 | 11 Easy Ways to Ask a Girl to Hang Out at Her House | 1. See if she wants to study at her place.
This is a perfect way to ask if you have a class together.
After class ends, go up to her desk and see if she wants to cram for the upcoming final together. Make it fun by offering to bring over snacks and soda. This is a good way to establish some common ground between the two of you, which makes asking to hang out at her house a lot easier. You both want to ace this test, right?
Say something like, "That final is gonna be a doozy. Want to study at your place tomorrow? I'll bring the snacks!"
Alternatively, text her when you're both home from school. Try texting, "Hey I just got my grade back on that quiz. I think I need a study buddy. Wanna study at your place later this week?"
2. Offer to bring over pizza for a movie night.
This is a casual, friendly way to suggest hanging out at her house.
Maybe the other day she mentioned that she's never seen the Star Wars trilogy. Volunteer to bring over your box set and a pizza so you can have a fun movie night. Pick a movie that you want to show her, or alternatively, see if she has any suggestions.
Try, "You've never seen Jaws? We've gotta change that! Want to watch it at your place this Friday?"
You can also say something like, "I've never seen Spirited Away. You said it's your favorite movie, right? Maybe we can watch it at your place this weekend!"
3. Say that you'll bring over a board game for you two to play.
This is a fun activity and a great excuse to hang out at her place.
If you enjoy playing board games and she's never played your favorite game, ask if you could bring it over to her house so you can both play. Maybe you both really like board games. Offer to plan a board game night at her house where you play a few rounds of all of your favorite games.
You can even make this a group hangout to accommodate whichever board game you choose. If you really want it to be one-on-one, though, choose a game that works for 2 players (or bring a deck of cards).
4. Suggest an activity you know she likes.
Hinge the ask on something to do with her interests.
Let's say her favorite band is Green Day and you've got a DVD of one of their concerts. Offer to bring it over so you can watch it. Maybe she loves playing video games. Tell her you just bought a new game and would love to come over and play it with her. Bringing up something you know she's into will probably increase the likelihood of her saying yes, and it will make you feel more comfortable asking.
Maybe you're reading The Great Gatsby in class and she mentioned she really likes the book so far. Say, "I've heard the movie version is pretty cool, too. Wanna watch it at your place this weekend?"
5. Ask her in person.
This method takes courage but it's definitely worth it.
If you're nervous, focus on your body language. This can help trick your mind into feeling more confident. Hold your head high and keep your shoulders back. When you walk up to her to ask, make direct eye contact. It'll show her that you're secure and sure of yourself, no matter how she responds. These are very attractive traits. Most likely, she'll be happy to hang out with you.
If you're asking her to hang out after class, make eye contact with her and walk up to her confidently. Then, simply ask her. Say something like, "Hey Maria, want to study at your place tonight?"
6. Text her to see if she wants to hangout.
This is a good option if you're nervous to ask in person.
It's also a great choice if you don't run into her often at school. Make sure you've got her number (or message her on social media sites like Instagram or Snapchat), and ask like you would in person. Try to think of an activity that would make sense to do at her house (studying, watching a movie, playing video games, etc.) and draft out the perfect ask before sending your text.
Keep your text brief. You don't need to write her a novel to ask her to watch a movie! Just make sure you include all the necessary details.
Text her, "Hey Kara, I just rented Point Break. Wanna watch it at your house this Friday? I'd be down to order some pizza, too."
7. Use your sense of humor when you ask her over text.
Send her a funny GIF or meme to break the ice.
Humor is a great way to help you both relax, and it can also be really charming. Maybe you were joking together about an old episode of Spongebob Squarepants the other day. Send her a funny GIF of Spongebob crying with the caption, "This'll be me if you can't hang out this Tuesday." Don't be afraid to be a little goofy. If she's already crushing on you, she'll probably find it really endearing.
Make sure your humor's coming from a positive place. Try not to make fun of anyone else or overdo it on the sarcasm. This won't come across well over text, and it could potentially offend her.
8. Pick a specific date and time.
Do this to ensure the hangout really happens.
Vague statements like, "We should hang out sometime" leave too many questions unanswered. Pick a time and a date and include both when you ask her to hang out. This will communicate that you really want to make this happen.
Try, "You live really close to our school, don't you? Would you want to hang out at your house after school this Friday?"
9. Communicate your intentions.
If you want this hangout to be a date, tell her that.
Asking someone to hang out can be a little vague, and it usually implies more casual or platonic intentions than asking someone out on a date. If you just want to be platonic friends go ahead and just say hang out. Consider asking some other friends to come along if you really want to make your platonic intentions clear.
If you're not sure if you like-like her or just want to be friends, that's totally okay. Many relationships start as friendships first. There's no harm in just getting to know each other and being friends for now.
10. Ask her to hang out again if it goes well.
If you really enjoy your time, mention hanging out again as you leave.
This shows the girl that you're interested in really becoming friends and spending more time together. If you're romantically interested in her, it's also another way to show her you like her. Ask her to hang out at your house next time, or suggest another activity, like seeing a movie, going to the park, or getting some ice cream.
Say something like, "Tonight was super fun. Maybe we could hang out at my house next time" or "I'd love to hang out again soon. Want to go see a movie next weekend?"
11. Don't be too hard on yourself if she says no.
Rejection is a part of building new relationships.
Sometimes people aren't looking for new connections, or they simply aren't super compatible with you. Regardless, it's best not to take it personally. Remind yourself that plenty of girls will want to hang out with you in the future. Brush off the rejection as best you can, and keep putting yourself out there. It's also okay to feel a little sad. Let yourself feel your emotions so that you can take it as a learning experience and move forward.
Asking someone to hang out takes courage. Congratulate yourself for going for it and think of it as practice for asking a new person to hang out in the future.
If you're upset, listen to some sad music, watch your favorite movie, and buy some yummy snacks. Feel your emotions fully so you can move forward.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. See if she wants to study at her place.\\nThis is a perfect way to ask if you have a class together.\\nAfter class ends, go up to her desk and see if she wants to cram for the upcoming final together. Make it fun by offering to bring over snacks and soda. This is a good way to establish some common ground between the two of you, which makes asking to hang out at her house a lot easier. You both want to ace this test, right?\\nSay something like, \\\"That final is gonna be a doozy. Want to study at your place tomorrow? I'll bring the snacks!\\\"\\nAlternatively, text her when you're both home from school. Try texting, \\\"Hey I just got my grade back on that quiz. I think I need a study buddy. Wanna study at your place later this week?\\\"\\n2. Offer to bring over pizza for a movie night.\\nThis is a casual, friendly way to suggest hanging out at her house.\\nMaybe the other day she mentioned that she's never seen the Star Wars trilogy. Volunteer to bring over your box set and a pizza so you can have a fun movie night. Pick a movie that you want to show her, or alternatively, see if she has any suggestions.\\nTry, \\\"You've never seen Jaws? We've gotta change that! Want to watch it at your place this Friday?\\\"\\nYou can also say something like, \\\"I've never seen Spirited Away. You said it's your favorite movie, right? Maybe we can watch it at your place this weekend!\\\"\\n3. Say that you'll bring over a board game for you two to play.\\nThis is a fun activity and a great excuse to hang out at her place.\\nIf you enjoy playing board games and she's never played your favorite game, ask if you could bring it over to her house so you can both play. Maybe you both really like board games. Offer to plan a board game night at her house where you play a few rounds of all of your favorite games.\\nYou can even make this a group hangout to accommodate whichever board game you choose. If you really want it to be one-on-one, though, choose a game that works for 2 players (or bring a deck of cards).\\n4. Suggest an activity you know she likes.\\nHinge the ask on something to do with her interests.\\nLet's say her favorite band is Green Day and you've got a DVD of one of their concerts. Offer to bring it over so you can watch it. Maybe she loves playing video games. Tell her you just bought a new game and would love to come over and play it with her. Bringing up something you know she's into will probably increase the likelihood of her saying yes, and it will make you feel more comfortable asking.\\nMaybe you're reading The Great Gatsby in class and she mentioned she really likes the book so far. Say, \\\"I've heard the movie version is pretty cool, too. Wanna watch it at your place this weekend?\\\"\\n5. Ask her in person.\\nThis method takes courage but it's definitely worth it.\\nIf you're nervous, focus on your body language. This can help trick your mind into feeling more confident. Hold your head high and keep your shoulders back. When you walk up to her to ask, make direct eye contact. It'll show her that you're secure and sure of yourself, no matter how she responds. These are very attractive traits. Most likely, she'll be happy to hang out with you.\\nIf you're asking her to hang out after class, make eye contact with her and walk up to her confidently. Then, simply ask her. Say something like, \\\"Hey Maria, want to study at your place tonight?\\\"\\n6. Text her to see if she wants to hangout.\\nThis is a good option if you're nervous to ask in person.\\nIt's also a great choice if you don't run into her often at school. Make sure you've got her number (or message her on social media sites like Instagram or Snapchat), and ask like you would in person. Try to think of an activity that would make sense to do at her house (studying, watching a movie, playing video games, etc.) and draft out the perfect ask before sending your text.\\nKeep your text brief. You don't need to write her a novel to ask her to watch a movie! Just make sure you include all the necessary details.\\nText her, \\\"Hey Kara, I just rented Point Break. Wanna watch it at your house this Friday? I'd be down to order some pizza, too.\\\"\\n7. Use your sense of humor when you ask her over text.\\nSend her a funny GIF or meme to break the ice.\\nHumor is a great way to help you both relax, and it can also be really charming. Maybe you were joking together about an old episode of Spongebob Squarepants the other day. Send her a funny GIF of Spongebob crying with the caption, \\\"This'll be me if you can't hang out this Tuesday.\\\" Don't be afraid to be a little goofy. If she's already crushing on you, she'll probably find it really endearing.\\nMake sure your humor's coming from a positive place. Try not to make fun of anyone else or overdo it on the sarcasm. This won't come across well over text, and it could potentially offend her.\\n8. Pick a specific date and time.\\nDo this to ensure the hangout really happens.\\nVague statements like, \\\"We should hang out sometime\\\" leave too many questions unanswered. Pick a time and a date and include both when you ask her to hang out. This will communicate that you really want to make this happen.\\nTry, \\\"You live really close to our school, don't you? Would you want to hang out at your house after school this Friday?\\\"\\n9. Communicate your intentions.\\nIf you want this hangout to be a date, tell her that.\\nAsking someone to hang out can be a little vague, and it usually implies more casual or platonic intentions than asking someone out on a date. If you just want to be platonic friends go ahead and just say hang out. Consider asking some other friends to come along if you really want to make your platonic intentions clear.\\nIf you're not sure if you like-like her or just want to be friends, that's totally okay. Many relationships start as friendships first. There's no harm in just getting to know each other and being friends for now.\\n10. Ask her to hang out again if it goes well.\\nIf you really enjoy your time, mention hanging out again as you leave.\\nThis shows the girl that you're interested in really becoming friends and spending more time together. If you're romantically interested in her, it's also another way to show her you like her. Ask her to hang out at your house next time, or suggest another activity, like seeing a movie, going to the park, or getting some ice cream.\\nSay something like, \\\"Tonight was super fun. Maybe we could hang out at my house next time\\\" or \\\"I'd love to hang out again soon. Want to go see a movie next weekend?\\\"\\n11. Don't be too hard on yourself if she says no.\\nRejection is a part of building new relationships.\\nSometimes people aren't looking for new connections, or they simply aren't super compatible with you. Regardless, it's best not to take it personally. Remind yourself that plenty of girls will want to hang out with you in the future. Brush off the rejection as best you can, and keep putting yourself out there. It's also okay to feel a little sad. Let yourself feel your emotions so that you can take it as a learning experience and move forward.\\nAsking someone to hang out takes courage. Congratulate yourself for going for it and think of it as practice for asking a new person to hang out in the future.\\nIf you're upset, listen to some sad music, watch your favorite movie, and buy some yummy snacks. Feel your emotions fully so you can move forward.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you like a girl, hanging out at her house can be a fun opportunity to get to know her better and spend some time alone. If she hasn't asked you, though, it can be hard to know how to broach the subject. This article is here to help you come up with ways to ask that are casual, friendly, and smooth.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"See if she wants to study at her place.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a perfect way to ask if you have a class together.\", \"描述\": \"After class ends, go up to her desk and see if she wants to cram for the upcoming final together. Make it fun by offering to bring over snacks and soda. This is a good way to establish some common ground between the two of you, which makes asking to hang out at her house a lot easier. You both want to ace this test, right?\\nSay something like, \\\"That final is gonna be a doozy. Want to study at your place tomorrow? I'll bring the snacks!\\\"\\nAlternatively, text her when you're both home from school. Try texting, \\\"Hey I just got my grade back on that quiz. I think I need a study buddy. Wanna study at your place later this week?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer to bring over pizza for a movie night.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a casual, friendly way to suggest hanging out at her house.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe the other day she mentioned that she's never seen the Star Wars trilogy. Volunteer to bring over your box set and a pizza so you can have a fun movie night. Pick a movie that you want to show her, or alternatively, see if she has any suggestions.\\nTry, \\\"You've never seen Jaws? We've gotta change that! Want to watch it at your place this Friday?\\\"\\nYou can also say something like, \\\"I've never seen Spirited Away. You said it's your favorite movie, right? Maybe we can watch it at your place this weekend!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Say that you'll bring over a board game for you two to play.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a fun activity and a great excuse to hang out at her place.\", \"描述\": \"If you enjoy playing board games and she's never played your favorite game, ask if you could bring it over to her house so you can both play. Maybe you both really like board games. Offer to plan a board game night at her house where you play a few rounds of all of your favorite games.\\nYou can even make this a group hangout to accommodate whichever board game you choose. If you really want it to be one-on-one, though, choose a game that works for 2 players (or bring a deck of cards).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Suggest an activity you know she likes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hinge the ask on something to do with her interests.\", \"描述\": \"Let's say her favorite band is Green Day and you've got a DVD of one of their concerts. Offer to bring it over so you can watch it. Maybe she loves playing video games. Tell her you just bought a new game and would love to come over and play it with her. Bringing up something you know she's into will probably increase the likelihood of her saying yes, and it will make you feel more comfortable asking.\\nMaybe you're reading The Great Gatsby in class and she mentioned she really likes the book so far. Say, \\\"I've heard the movie version is pretty cool, too. Wanna watch it at your place this weekend?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask her in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This method takes courage but it's definitely worth it.\", \"描述\": \"If you're nervous, focus on your body language. This can help trick your mind into feeling more confident. Hold your head high and keep your shoulders back. When you walk up to her to ask, make direct eye contact. It'll show her that you're secure and sure of yourself, no matter how she responds. These are very attractive traits. Most likely, she'll be happy to hang out with you.\\nIf you're asking her to hang out after class, make eye contact with her and walk up to her confidently. Then, simply ask her. Say something like, \\\"Hey Maria, want to study at your place tonight?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Text her to see if she wants to hangout.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a good option if you're nervous to ask in person.\", \"描述\": \"It's also a great choice if you don't run into her often at school. Make sure you've got her number (or message her on social media sites like Instagram or Snapchat), and ask like you would in person. Try to think of an activity that would make sense to do at her house (studying, watching a movie, playing video games, etc.) and draft out the perfect ask before sending your text.\\nKeep your text brief. You don't need to write her a novel to ask her to watch a movie! Just make sure you include all the necessary details.\\nText her, \\\"Hey Kara, I just rented Point Break. Wanna watch it at your house this Friday? I'd be down to order some pizza, too.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Use your sense of humor when you ask her over text.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send her a funny GIF or meme to break the ice.\", \"描述\": \"Humor is a great way to help you both relax, and it can also be really charming. Maybe you were joking together about an old episode of Spongebob Squarepants the other day. Send her a funny GIF of Spongebob crying with the caption, \\\"This'll be me if you can't hang out this Tuesday.\\\" Don't be afraid to be a little goofy. If she's already crushing on you, she'll probably find it really endearing.\\nMake sure your humor's coming from a positive place. Try not to make fun of anyone else or overdo it on the sarcasm. This won't come across well over text, and it could potentially offend her.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Pick a specific date and time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Do this to ensure the hangout really happens.\", \"描述\": \"Vague statements like, \\\"We should hang out sometime\\\" leave too many questions unanswered. Pick a time and a date and include both when you ask her to hang out. This will communicate that you really want to make this happen.\\nTry, \\\"You live really close to our school, don't you? Would you want to hang out at your house after school this Friday?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Communicate your intentions.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you want this hangout to be a date, tell her that.\", \"描述\": \"Asking someone to hang out can be a little vague, and it usually implies more casual or platonic intentions than asking someone out on a date. If you just want to be platonic friends go ahead and just say hang out. Consider asking some other friends to come along if you really want to make your platonic intentions clear.\\nIf you're not sure if you like-like her or just want to be friends, that's totally okay. Many relationships start as friendships first. There's no harm in just getting to know each other and being friends for now.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Ask her to hang out again if it goes well.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you really enjoy your time, mention hanging out again as you leave.\", \"描述\": \"This shows the girl that you're interested in really becoming friends and spending more time together. If you're romantically interested in her, it's also another way to show her you like her. Ask her to hang out at your house next time, or suggest another activity, like seeing a movie, going to the park, or getting some ice cream.\\nSay something like, \\\"Tonight was super fun. Maybe we could hang out at my house next time\\\" or \\\"I'd love to hang out again soon. Want to go see a movie next weekend?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Don't be too hard on yourself if she says no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Rejection is a part of building new relationships.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes people aren't looking for new connections, or they simply aren't super compatible with you. Regardless, it's best not to take it personally. Remind yourself that plenty of girls will want to hang out with you in the future. Brush off the rejection as best you can, and keep putting yourself out there. It's also okay to feel a little sad. Let yourself feel your emotions so that you can take it as a learning experience and move forward.\\nAsking someone to hang out takes courage. Congratulate yourself for going for it and think of it as practice for asking a new person to hang out in the future.\\nIf you're upset, listen to some sad music, watch your favorite movie, and buy some yummy snacks. Feel your emotions fully so you can move forward.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,563 | How to Ask a Girl to Homecoming | 1. Preparing Yourself
1-1. Remember that even if a girl says no, the gesture will be appreciated.
Part of what makes people so nervous about asking somebody out is the possibility of rejection, or the idea that she will somehow be upset or annoyed that you asked her. But keep in mind that being asked out is flattering, no matter what the circumstances, and that you will probably be making her day just by asking her.
1-2. Determine whether she already has a date.
This will save you a lot of time and trouble, and allow you time to make other arrangements, if necessary.
If you don't know whether or not she already has a date, try asking one of her friends, or bring up the topic of homecoming with her so that you can inquire about her plans.
Don't try to convince her to ditch her date if she has one. It will be unfair to the other person, and reflect poorly on you. Remember: just because you aren't going to homecoming together, doesn't mean you won't have a chance with her in the future!
1-3. Keep your options open.
Think of other girls (if any) that you'd like to ask out so that you're not left hanging in the event that your first choice says no. Having backups will also help ease some of the nervousness you may be feeling.
1-4. Decide how you'd like to ask her.
You can ask her straight up either in person, over the phone, or over the computer. If you're feeling more creative, come up with a less straight-forward romantic gesture like leaving a note or flowers on her car or in her locker.
2. Doing the Asking
2-1. Consider asking her in person.
If you want to keep things old fashioned and simple, then ask her in person. Here are a few tips to get you started:
Choose the right time to ask her. Don't ask her out in the middle of class or if she appears to be in a rush. You should also avoid asking her in front of other people. If she is standing with a group of friends, ask her if you can pull her away for a moment to talk to her.
Initiate a friendly conversation with her first, and then casually bring up the topic of homecoming. Be sure to properly greet her and ask her how her day is going before you do the asking.
Consider working a compliment into your question. For example, say something like "I think you're really awesome and fun, and I was wondering if you'd like to come to homecoming with me."
Remember to smile and look her in the eyes. This will hold her attention and show her that you are genuinely interested in her.
Be prepared, but don't follow a script. While you will probably work out a general idea in your head of what you want to say, avoid memorizing what you want to say word for word. Let the conversation flow naturally.
Act confident, even if you are trembling inside. Confidence is key, and can make or break her decision. Be sure not to act overly pompous, though, as this is a turn-off for most girls.
2-2. Ask via phone or computer.
In this day and age, asking somebody out via text, Facebook, or email is not always acceptable, though is understood and used by many. This route is especially useful if you are very shy, nervous, or unsure about her feelings toward you. Plus, if she for any reason says no, you will have time to compose yourself before facing her in person.
Be sure to properly greet her and strike up a casual conversation before you pop the question. Try an open-ended greeting like: "Hey, how's it going?" "Hey, how's your day been?" or "Hey, what are you up to?" Questions like these give her a chance to tell you what she's been up to lately, and what her plans are for the next few days/weeks. If homecoming is just around the corner, chances are that the conversation will inevitably lead to a discussion of what her plans are.
Try to work a compliment into your question. This will make her feel special, and undoubtedly put a smile on her face. Try something like: "I think you're really fun/smart/beautiful/interesting, and I was wondering if you'd like to go to homecoming with me."
Consider a more indirect approach. Instead of asking her straight-out, first ask her what her plans are for homecoming. This way, if she already has a date or is going to be out of town, you can determine her answer without having to ask her. If she says she's not sure or doesn't have a date, use that opportunity to ask her.
2-3. Think of a romantic gesture.
Chocolate covered strawberries and a picnic are the best options. This route gives you the best of both worlds: it is both anonymous (meaning you won't be face-to-face) and romantic. Only choose this route if you already know the girl relatively well and think she might be interested in you. Otherwise, it will come across as overwhelming. Think of something that you think she'd appreciate, based on what you already know about her. Consider the following ideas:
Leave a note in her locker or on the window-shield of her car.(Make sure that it is secure and noticeable.)
Send her flowers with a note attached asking if she'd like to go out with you. Try to find out what her favorite flower is for an extra touch.
Write her a cute/funny song. She'll be so charmed that she'll have to say yes!
Paint the question on a cupcake, t-shirt, white board, or other item. Use your imagination! You don't have to write the whole question out; a simple "Homecoming?" will do.
Girls keep giving hints about what they like. Listen to her carefully and do those things for her.
They love surprises.
You can give her a thoughtful gift and surprise her.
Tips
Asking her early on in the game will give you an advantage over other guys. Be sure to ask her before she makes other plans!
For the best results, ask out a girl who you think might be interested in you, and who you know for sure is not dating somebody else.
Try to look your best when you ask her out. You don't have to dress formal, but looking and feeling your best will give you the best chance of getting a positive answer.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing Yourself\\n1-1. Remember that even if a girl says no, the gesture will be appreciated.\\nPart of what makes people so nervous about asking somebody out is the possibility of rejection, or the idea that she will somehow be upset or annoyed that you asked her. But keep in mind that being asked out is flattering, no matter what the circumstances, and that you will probably be making her day just by asking her.\\n1-2. Determine whether she already has a date.\\nThis will save you a lot of time and trouble, and allow you time to make other arrangements, if necessary.\\nIf you don't know whether or not she already has a date, try asking one of her friends, or bring up the topic of homecoming with her so that you can inquire about her plans.\\nDon't try to convince her to ditch her date if she has one. It will be unfair to the other person, and reflect poorly on you. Remember: just because you aren't going to homecoming together, doesn't mean you won't have a chance with her in the future!\\n1-3. Keep your options open.\\nThink of other girls (if any) that you'd like to ask out so that you're not left hanging in the event that your first choice says no. Having backups will also help ease some of the nervousness you may be feeling.\\n1-4. Decide how you'd like to ask her.\\nYou can ask her straight up either in person, over the phone, or over the computer. If you're feeling more creative, come up with a less straight-forward romantic gesture like leaving a note or flowers on her car or in her locker.\\n2. Doing the Asking\\n2-1. Consider asking her in person.\\nIf you want to keep things old fashioned and simple, then ask her in person. Here are a few tips to get you started:\\nChoose the right time to ask her. Don't ask her out in the middle of class or if she appears to be in a rush. You should also avoid asking her in front of other people. If she is standing with a group of friends, ask her if you can pull her away for a moment to talk to her.\\nInitiate a friendly conversation with her first, and then casually bring up the topic of homecoming. Be sure to properly greet her and ask her how her day is going before you do the asking.\\nConsider working a compliment into your question. For example, say something like \\\"I think you're really awesome and fun, and I was wondering if you'd like to come to homecoming with me.\\\"\\nRemember to smile and look her in the eyes. This will hold her attention and show her that you are genuinely interested in her.\\nBe prepared, but don't follow a script. While you will probably work out a general idea in your head of what you want to say, avoid memorizing what you want to say word for word. Let the conversation flow naturally.\\nAct confident, even if you are trembling inside. Confidence is key, and can make or break her decision. Be sure not to act overly pompous, though, as this is a turn-off for most girls.\\n2-2. Ask via phone or computer.\\nIn this day and age, asking somebody out via text, Facebook, or email is not always acceptable, though is understood and used by many. This route is especially useful if you are very shy, nervous, or unsure about her feelings toward you. Plus, if she for any reason says no, you will have time to compose yourself before facing her in person.\\nBe sure to properly greet her and strike up a casual conversation before you pop the question. Try an open-ended greeting like: \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\" \\\"Hey, how's your day been?\\\" or \\\"Hey, what are you up to?\\\" Questions like these give her a chance to tell you what she's been up to lately, and what her plans are for the next few days/weeks. If homecoming is just around the corner, chances are that the conversation will inevitably lead to a discussion of what her plans are.\\nTry to work a compliment into your question. This will make her feel special, and undoubtedly put a smile on her face. Try something like: \\\"I think you're really fun/smart/beautiful/interesting, and I was wondering if you'd like to go to homecoming with me.\\\"\\nConsider a more indirect approach. Instead of asking her straight-out, first ask her what her plans are for homecoming. This way, if she already has a date or is going to be out of town, you can determine her answer without having to ask her. If she says she's not sure or doesn't have a date, use that opportunity to ask her.\\n2-3. Think of a romantic gesture.\\nChocolate covered strawberries and a picnic are the best options. This route gives you the best of both worlds: it is both anonymous (meaning you won't be face-to-face) and romantic. Only choose this route if you already know the girl relatively well and think she might be interested in you. Otherwise, it will come across as overwhelming. Think of something that you think she'd appreciate, based on what you already know about her. Consider the following ideas:\\nLeave a note in her locker or on the window-shield of her car.(Make sure that it is secure and noticeable.)\\nSend her flowers with a note attached asking if she'd like to go out with you. Try to find out what her favorite flower is for an extra touch.\\nWrite her a cute/funny song. She'll be so charmed that she'll have to say yes!\\nPaint the question on a cupcake, t-shirt, white board, or other item. Use your imagination! You don't have to write the whole question out; a simple \\\"Homecoming?\\\" will do.\\nGirls keep giving hints about what they like. Listen to her carefully and do those things for her.\\nThey love surprises.\\nYou can give her a thoughtful gift and surprise her.\\nTips\\nAsking her early on in the game will give you an advantage over other guys. Be sure to ask her before she makes other plans!\\nFor the best results, ask out a girl who you think might be interested in you, and who you know for sure is not dating somebody else.\\nTry to look your best when you ask her out. You don't have to dress formal, but looking and feeling your best will give you the best chance of getting a positive answer.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking somebody out can be very nerve-racking, but it can also be extremely gratifying if you get the answer you want. Read this article to learn how to score a date to homecoming with the girl of your dreams!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Remember that even if a girl says no, the gesture will be appreciated.\", \"描述\": \"Part of what makes people so nervous about asking somebody out is the possibility of rejection, or the idea that she will somehow be upset or annoyed that you asked her. But keep in mind that being asked out is flattering, no matter what the circumstances, and that you will probably be making her day just by asking her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determine whether she already has a date.\", \"描述\": \"This will save you a lot of time and trouble, and allow you time to make other arrangements, if necessary.\\nIf you don't know whether or not she already has a date, try asking one of her friends, or bring up the topic of homecoming with her so that you can inquire about her plans.\\nDon't try to convince her to ditch her date if she has one. It will be unfair to the other person, and reflect poorly on you. Remember: just because you aren't going to homecoming together, doesn't mean you won't have a chance with her in the future!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep your options open.\", \"描述\": \"Think of other girls (if any) that you'd like to ask out so that you're not left hanging in the event that your first choice says no. Having backups will also help ease some of the nervousness you may be feeling.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide how you'd like to ask her.\", \"描述\": \"You can ask her straight up either in person, over the phone, or over the computer. If you're feeling more creative, come up with a less straight-forward romantic gesture like leaving a note or flowers on her car or in her locker.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Doing the Asking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider asking her in person.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to keep things old fashioned and simple, then ask her in person. Here are a few tips to get you started:\\nChoose the right time to ask her. Don't ask her out in the middle of class or if she appears to be in a rush. You should also avoid asking her in front of other people. If she is standing with a group of friends, ask her if you can pull her away for a moment to talk to her.\\nInitiate a friendly conversation with her first, and then casually bring up the topic of homecoming. Be sure to properly greet her and ask her how her day is going before you do the asking.\\nConsider working a compliment into your question. For example, say something like \\\"I think you're really awesome and fun, and I was wondering if you'd like to come to homecoming with me.\\\"\\nRemember to smile and look her in the eyes. This will hold her attention and show her that you are genuinely interested in her.\\nBe prepared, but don't follow a script. While you will probably work out a general idea in your head of what you want to say, avoid memorizing what you want to say word for word. Let the conversation flow naturally.\\nAct confident, even if you are trembling inside. Confidence is key, and can make or break her decision. Be sure not to act overly pompous, though, as this is a turn-off for most girls.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask via phone or computer.\", \"描述\": \"In this day and age, asking somebody out via text, Facebook, or email is not always acceptable, though is understood and used by many. This route is especially useful if you are very shy, nervous, or unsure about her feelings toward you. Plus, if she for any reason says no, you will have time to compose yourself before facing her in person.\\nBe sure to properly greet her and strike up a casual conversation before you pop the question. Try an open-ended greeting like: \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\" \\\"Hey, how's your day been?\\\" or \\\"Hey, what are you up to?\\\" Questions like these give her a chance to tell you what she's been up to lately, and what her plans are for the next few days/weeks. If homecoming is just around the corner, chances are that the conversation will inevitably lead to a discussion of what her plans are.\\nTry to work a compliment into your question. This will make her feel special, and undoubtedly put a smile on her face. Try something like: \\\"I think you're really fun/smart/beautiful/interesting, and I was wondering if you'd like to go to homecoming with me.\\\"\\nConsider a more indirect approach. Instead of asking her straight-out, first ask her what her plans are for homecoming. This way, if she already has a date or is going to be out of town, you can determine her answer without having to ask her. If she says she's not sure or doesn't have a date, use that opportunity to ask her.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Think of a romantic gesture.\", \"描述\": \"Chocolate covered strawberries and a picnic are the best options. This route gives you the best of both worlds: it is both anonymous (meaning you won't be face-to-face) and romantic. Only choose this route if you already know the girl relatively well and think she might be interested in you. Otherwise, it will come across as overwhelming. Think of something that you think she'd appreciate, based on what you already know about her. Consider the following ideas:\\nLeave a note in her locker or on the window-shield of her car.(Make sure that it is secure and noticeable.)\\nSend her flowers with a note attached asking if she'd like to go out with you. Try to find out what her favorite flower is for an extra touch.\\nWrite her a cute/funny song. She'll be so charmed that she'll have to say yes!\\nPaint the question on a cupcake, t-shirt, white board, or other item. Use your imagination! You don't have to write the whole question out; a simple \\\"Homecoming?\\\" will do.\\nGirls keep giving hints about what they like. Listen to her carefully and do those things for her.\\nThey love surprises.\\nYou can give her a thoughtful gift and surprise her.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Asking her early on in the game will give you an advantage over other guys. Be sure to ask her before she makes other plans!\\n\", \"For the best results, ask out a girl who you think might be interested in you, and who you know for sure is not dating somebody else.\\n\", \"Try to look your best when you ask her out. You don't have to dress formal, but looking and feeling your best will give you the best chance of getting a positive answer.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,564 | How to Ask a Girl to Prom | 1. Choosing Who and How to Ask
1-1. Ask her friends to make sure she is available to go with you.
Make sure she doesn’t already have a date, first and foremost. Ask her friends if they think she would be interested in going with you if you aren’t sure.
Once you’ve decided for sure who you are going to ask, then you can also use her friends as resources to decide how to ask her. Ask them questions about her and run ideas past her to decide how to ask her to prom.
1-2. Decide how you are going to ask her based on her personality.
Not everyone wants a big, fancy, public promposal. Think about the girl’s personality to decide if you are going to ask her in a romantic, dramatic, creative, funny, or straightforward way.
For instance, if she is shy and not super outgoing, you might want to make it a more straightforward promposal. If she’s extremely outgoing and always the center of attention, then you might want to get creative and come up with a big public promposal.
1-3. Personalize your promposal with inside jokes, references, or things she loves.
She will appreciate that you took the extra time to make it a personalized promposal. Customize your promposal to things she likes or common interests or experiences you have shared.
For example, if she loves cats, then find a way to incorporate a cat theme into the promposal.
If you two had a fun experience together, like a summer camping trip where you hit it off, try to include a reference to this when you ask her.
There are infinite ways to customize a promposal. Above all, you just want to show that you put the time and effort into personalizing it for the person you want to take! She will appreciate the time and effort you put into it.
1-4. Be romantic if it’s a romantic situation.
Incorporate some romance, such as bringing the girl her favorite flowers or writing her a love poem, into your promposal if love is in the air. Don’t do this if you are just asking a friend or someone who you don’t want a romantic situation with.
This is another situation in which you can ask her friends about things she likes such as her favorite flowers or chocolates.
Make sure that the situation is romantic before you decide to ask in a romantic way. You don’t want to cause an awkward situation with a friend or confuse someone you don’t have any romantic feelings for.
1-5. Have a back up plan in case she says no or can’t go.
There is always the possibility that the girl you want to ask doesn’t actually want to go with you. She might not be allowed to or have another commitment.
You can make a deal to go with a friend in case you both don’t get dates or decide on a second choice that you would enjoy going to prom with.
2. Asking in a Creative Way
2-1. Spell out the question in Legos.
Take out your old Legos or borrow some from your kid sibling, and spell out "Prom?" with the blocky letters. Wait for her to approach the letters and break into a smile.
Place the letters in a hallway after school, where the girl will be sure to see them, or lead her outside and then ask her, "Hey, what's that over there?"
2-2. Make a puzzle asking her to go to prom.
Write, "Will you go to prom with me?" on a piece of paper and cut it up into several "puzzle pieces." Place them in a small bag and ask the girl to put the puzzle together for you. Once she solves the puzzle, she'll be impressed that you took so much time to put together your prom proposal.
Make sure that the puzzle isn’t too complicated! You want to hear the answer without waiting forever for the girl to put the pieces together.
2-3. Write out your promposal in chalk.
Take some sidewalk chalk and ask her to go to prom with you by writing something like, “You? Me? Prom?”, in a big, open place. Spend a lot of time and effort on making the letters, so she'll be truly impressed!
You can write the promposal on the sidewalk in a park, at school, or in her driveway or your own -- as long as your parents don't mind.
2-4. Write the question on a board in her classroom.
Sneak into her next classroom a bit early, and write, "Will you go to prom with me?" on the board. Write your names on the board as well so there is no confusion.
You can also hang up a poster in the classroom as an alternative to writing it on the board.
2-5. Cover something of hers in sticky notes to ask her to prom.
Cover her locker, car, or desk in the sticky notes with your promposal. Get creative and create some artwork in the sticky notes, like a big heart, if you have the space.
One way you can do this is to stick a sticky note with the letter "P" on her locker. When she sees it and takes it off, sneak up and stick one that says "R" on it. Keep going until you've individually stuck on sticky notes that spell "P-R-O-M?" and you reveal your identity.
Another idea is covering her desk with sticky notes that say, “Will you stick by my side at prom?”
Be a gentleman and help her clean up the sticky notes when you’re done.
3. Asking in a Romantic Way
3-1. Serenade your sweetheart with a song and end it with the promposal.
Grab a guitar and sing a sweet song that ends with you asking your special lady to go to the prom with you. Serenade the girl after school near your car or in the back parking lot, or even in school in the cafeteria if you want to put on a show.
If you don't know how to play guitar, you can impress the girl by learning a song just for her, or you can ask a friend to play the guitar as you sing.
If guitar isn’t your thing, then you could create a cute rap song and rap it to her while playing the beat from a boombox.
3-2. Write her a romantic poem to ask her.
Write the girl a poem that tells her how amazing she is, ending with some words that say she'd be the perfect prom date. Hand her the poem and wait for her reaction, or tuck the poem into her textbook or locker, or ask one of her friends to sneak it into her backpack.
Try to personalize the poem as much as possible. Include things like inside jokes or funny references that she will get to make her smile and laugh as she reads it.
3-3. Decorate something of hers with your promposal.
Write on her locker, car, or desk with washable paint. Stick balloons, flowers, and anything else you want to use to decorate around your message to decorate it.
Make sure that anything you use to decorate will be easy to clean up! You don’t want her to not be able to drive home because you covered her car windows in a hard-to-clean promposal.
For example, you could write on her car, “You drive me crazy, will you go to prom with me?”
3-4. Write her the question in heart-shaped candy.
Find some heart-shaped candy. Spell out, "I Think you’re sweet. Want to go to prom?" either on the floor, her desk, or stuck to her locker.
Make sure you place the candy in a place where she can easily see them, and that she actually likes candy.
3-5. Send or give her flowers to ask her to prom.
Deliver her a single rose or a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Attach a note asking her to prom or just straight up ask her as you give her the flower.
You could have your friends deliver five flowers to her, one at a time, saying that they're from her secret admirer. The first will have the letter "P" taped to it, and each flower will spell out the rest of the question: "P-R-O-M?" The last flower can also reveal your identity.
3-6. Take her to dinner and write the question in your dessert.
Call the restaurant in advance to make a reservation and make sure that the chef can write "Will you go to prom with me?" or "Prom?" in icing on the dessert that you'll insist on ordering. Take the girl out and wait for her reaction when she sees the dessert.
You can ask for candles or sparklers in the dessert for a more dramatic presentation.
You could do a variation of this sweet promposal by giving her a box of donuts for dessert with “PROM?” spelled out on them, and a message that says, “I donut want to go with anyone but you!”
4. Ask in a Funny Way
4-1. Ask with the help of a dog for a cute and funny promposal.
Prepare a sign that says "Prom?" and hang it around your beloved pet's neck. Invite the girl over to your house and call your dog to come join you while you are hanging out. Watch the girl laugh as she reads the note around his neck.
You can also try this trick with a very obedient cat.
4-2. Ask with a pizza for a cheesy promposal.
Invite the girl over and order a cheese pizza, or order the pizza with a group of friends. Quickly write, "I know this is cheesy, but will you go to prom with me?" on the inside of the lid of the pizza box as soon as the pizza arrives. Wait for the girl to open the pizza and laugh.
For extra precaution, you can order the pizza and write on the box and then ask the girl to come over.
You could also rearrange the toppings on a pizza to spell out “Prom?”
4-3. Spell out the question in a scantron for a funny classroom promposal.
Ask your teacher for a scantron and write "Prom?" sideways on all of the bubbles. Approach the girl and tell her that you did really well on a test, then show her the scantron as evidence of your academic success.
You could also try to coordinate this with a teacher the day they are handing back a scantron test result. Have them slip your promposal in with the girl’s test results.
4-4. Ask your question on a t-shirt.
Decorate a white t-shirt that says, "Will you go to prom with me?" and put a box for "Yes" and "No." Wear a marker around your neck and ask her to fill out the t-shirt with her answer.
This will remind the girl of those precious notes that middle school boys use to ask out girls and she will laugh and naturally accept.
4-5. Coordinate a dance with some talented friends.
Making a corny dance with your friends in front of the girl is the perfect way to ask her to prom. Do the dance after school, in the hallways, or even the cafeteria.
When the dance is over, stand in a line with your friends, all the way on the right side. Then, everyone will remove their shirts from left to right, until they spell out "P-R-O-M-?" Your shirt will have the question mark on it.
This silly dance will show the girl that you're comfortable enough with yourself to be completely goofy, and that you'll be the perfect prom date.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:58",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Choosing Who and How to Ask\\n1-1. Ask her friends to make sure she is available to go with you.\\nMake sure she doesn’t already have a date, first and foremost. Ask her friends if they think she would be interested in going with you if you aren’t sure.\\nOnce you’ve decided for sure who you are going to ask, then you can also use her friends as resources to decide how to ask her. Ask them questions about her and run ideas past her to decide how to ask her to prom.\\n1-2. Decide how you are going to ask her based on her personality.\\nNot everyone wants a big, fancy, public promposal. Think about the girl’s personality to decide if you are going to ask her in a romantic, dramatic, creative, funny, or straightforward way.\\nFor instance, if she is shy and not super outgoing, you might want to make it a more straightforward promposal. If she’s extremely outgoing and always the center of attention, then you might want to get creative and come up with a big public promposal.\\n1-3. Personalize your promposal with inside jokes, references, or things she loves.\\nShe will appreciate that you took the extra time to make it a personalized promposal. Customize your promposal to things she likes or common interests or experiences you have shared.\\nFor example, if she loves cats, then find a way to incorporate a cat theme into the promposal.\\nIf you two had a fun experience together, like a summer camping trip where you hit it off, try to include a reference to this when you ask her.\\nThere are infinite ways to customize a promposal. Above all, you just want to show that you put the time and effort into personalizing it for the person you want to take! She will appreciate the time and effort you put into it.\\n1-4. Be romantic if it’s a romantic situation.\\nIncorporate some romance, such as bringing the girl her favorite flowers or writing her a love poem, into your promposal if love is in the air. Don’t do this if you are just asking a friend or someone who you don’t want a romantic situation with.\\nThis is another situation in which you can ask her friends about things she likes such as her favorite flowers or chocolates.\\nMake sure that the situation is romantic before you decide to ask in a romantic way. You don’t want to cause an awkward situation with a friend or confuse someone you don’t have any romantic feelings for.\\n1-5. Have a back up plan in case she says no or can’t go.\\nThere is always the possibility that the girl you want to ask doesn’t actually want to go with you. She might not be allowed to or have another commitment.\\nYou can make a deal to go with a friend in case you both don’t get dates or decide on a second choice that you would enjoy going to prom with.\\n2. Asking in a Creative Way\\n2-1. Spell out the question in Legos.\\nTake out your old Legos or borrow some from your kid sibling, and spell out \\\"Prom?\\\" with the blocky letters. Wait for her to approach the letters and break into a smile.\\nPlace the letters in a hallway after school, where the girl will be sure to see them, or lead her outside and then ask her, \\\"Hey, what's that over there?\\\"\\n2-2. Make a puzzle asking her to go to prom.\\nWrite, \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" on a piece of paper and cut it up into several \\\"puzzle pieces.\\\" Place them in a small bag and ask the girl to put the puzzle together for you. Once she solves the puzzle, she'll be impressed that you took so much time to put together your prom proposal.\\nMake sure that the puzzle isn’t too complicated! You want to hear the answer without waiting forever for the girl to put the pieces together.\\n2-3. Write out your promposal in chalk.\\nTake some sidewalk chalk and ask her to go to prom with you by writing something like, “You? Me? Prom?”, in a big, open place. Spend a lot of time and effort on making the letters, so she'll be truly impressed!\\nYou can write the promposal on the sidewalk in a park, at school, or in her driveway or your own -- as long as your parents don't mind.\\n2-4. Write the question on a board in her classroom.\\nSneak into her next classroom a bit early, and write, \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" on the board. Write your names on the board as well so there is no confusion.\\nYou can also hang up a poster in the classroom as an alternative to writing it on the board.\\n2-5. Cover something of hers in sticky notes to ask her to prom.\\nCover her locker, car, or desk in the sticky notes with your promposal. Get creative and create some artwork in the sticky notes, like a big heart, if you have the space.\\nOne way you can do this is to stick a sticky note with the letter \\\"P\\\" on her locker. When she sees it and takes it off, sneak up and stick one that says \\\"R\\\" on it. Keep going until you've individually stuck on sticky notes that spell \\\"P-R-O-M?\\\" and you reveal your identity.\\nAnother idea is covering her desk with sticky notes that say, “Will you stick by my side at prom?”\\nBe a gentleman and help her clean up the sticky notes when you’re done.\\n3. Asking in a Romantic Way\\n3-1. Serenade your sweetheart with a song and end it with the promposal.\\nGrab a guitar and sing a sweet song that ends with you asking your special lady to go to the prom with you. Serenade the girl after school near your car or in the back parking lot, or even in school in the cafeteria if you want to put on a show.\\nIf you don't know how to play guitar, you can impress the girl by learning a song just for her, or you can ask a friend to play the guitar as you sing.\\nIf guitar isn’t your thing, then you could create a cute rap song and rap it to her while playing the beat from a boombox.\\n3-2. Write her a romantic poem to ask her.\\nWrite the girl a poem that tells her how amazing she is, ending with some words that say she'd be the perfect prom date. Hand her the poem and wait for her reaction, or tuck the poem into her textbook or locker, or ask one of her friends to sneak it into her backpack.\\nTry to personalize the poem as much as possible. Include things like inside jokes or funny references that she will get to make her smile and laugh as she reads it.\\n3-3. Decorate something of hers with your promposal.\\nWrite on her locker, car, or desk with washable paint. Stick balloons, flowers, and anything else you want to use to decorate around your message to decorate it.\\nMake sure that anything you use to decorate will be easy to clean up! You don’t want her to not be able to drive home because you covered her car windows in a hard-to-clean promposal.\\nFor example, you could write on her car, “You drive me crazy, will you go to prom with me?”\\n3-4. Write her the question in heart-shaped candy.\\nFind some heart-shaped candy. Spell out, \\\"I Think you’re sweet. Want to go to prom?\\\" either on the floor, her desk, or stuck to her locker.\\nMake sure you place the candy in a place where she can easily see them, and that she actually likes candy.\\n3-5. Send or give her flowers to ask her to prom.\\nDeliver her a single rose or a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Attach a note asking her to prom or just straight up ask her as you give her the flower.\\nYou could have your friends deliver five flowers to her, one at a time, saying that they're from her secret admirer. The first will have the letter \\\"P\\\" taped to it, and each flower will spell out the rest of the question: \\\"P-R-O-M?\\\" The last flower can also reveal your identity.\\n3-6. Take her to dinner and write the question in your dessert.\\nCall the restaurant in advance to make a reservation and make sure that the chef can write \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" or \\\"Prom?\\\" in icing on the dessert that you'll insist on ordering. Take the girl out and wait for her reaction when she sees the dessert.\\nYou can ask for candles or sparklers in the dessert for a more dramatic presentation.\\nYou could do a variation of this sweet promposal by giving her a box of donuts for dessert with “PROM?” spelled out on them, and a message that says, “I donut want to go with anyone but you!”\\n4. Ask in a Funny Way\\n4-1. Ask with the help of a dog for a cute and funny promposal.\\nPrepare a sign that says \\\"Prom?\\\" and hang it around your beloved pet's neck. Invite the girl over to your house and call your dog to come join you while you are hanging out. Watch the girl laugh as she reads the note around his neck.\\nYou can also try this trick with a very obedient cat.\\n4-2. Ask with a pizza for a cheesy promposal.\\nInvite the girl over and order a cheese pizza, or order the pizza with a group of friends. Quickly write, \\\"I know this is cheesy, but will you go to prom with me?\\\" on the inside of the lid of the pizza box as soon as the pizza arrives. Wait for the girl to open the pizza and laugh.\\nFor extra precaution, you can order the pizza and write on the box and then ask the girl to come over.\\nYou could also rearrange the toppings on a pizza to spell out “Prom?”\\n4-3. Spell out the question in a scantron for a funny classroom promposal.\\nAsk your teacher for a scantron and write \\\"Prom?\\\" sideways on all of the bubbles. Approach the girl and tell her that you did really well on a test, then show her the scantron as evidence of your academic success.\\nYou could also try to coordinate this with a teacher the day they are handing back a scantron test result. Have them slip your promposal in with the girl’s test results.\\n4-4. Ask your question on a t-shirt.\\nDecorate a white t-shirt that says, \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" and put a box for \\\"Yes\\\" and \\\"No.\\\" Wear a marker around your neck and ask her to fill out the t-shirt with her answer.\\nThis will remind the girl of those precious notes that middle school boys use to ask out girls and she will laugh and naturally accept.\\n4-5. Coordinate a dance with some talented friends.\\nMaking a corny dance with your friends in front of the girl is the perfect way to ask her to prom. Do the dance after school, in the hallways, or even the cafeteria.\\nWhen the dance is over, stand in a line with your friends, all the way on the right side. Then, everyone will remove their shirts from left to right, until they spell out \\\"P-R-O-M-?\\\" Your shirt will have the question mark on it.\\nThis silly dance will show the girl that you're comfortable enough with yourself to be completely goofy, and that you'll be the perfect prom date.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In today's world, the \\\"promposal\\\" is all the rage -- people are finding more and more creative, romantic, or just plain funny ways to ask someone to prom. Don't be nervous -- asking a girl to prom doesn't have to be so nerve-wracking or even complicated. Choose the right girl, then decide how to ask her based on her personality and your relationship. Be creative, romantic, funny, or just ask her straight up without doing anything too dramatic!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choosing Who and How to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her friends to make sure she is available to go with you.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure she doesn’t already have a date, first and foremost. Ask her friends if they think she would be interested in going with you if you aren’t sure.\\nOnce you’ve decided for sure who you are going to ask, then you can also use her friends as resources to decide how to ask her. Ask them questions about her and run ideas past her to decide how to ask her to prom.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide how you are going to ask her based on her personality.\", \"描述\": \"Not everyone wants a big, fancy, public promposal. Think about the girl’s personality to decide if you are going to ask her in a romantic, dramatic, creative, funny, or straightforward way.\\nFor instance, if she is shy and not super outgoing, you might want to make it a more straightforward promposal. If she’s extremely outgoing and always the center of attention, then you might want to get creative and come up with a big public promposal.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Personalize your promposal with inside jokes, references, or things she loves.\", \"描述\": \"She will appreciate that you took the extra time to make it a personalized promposal. Customize your promposal to things she likes or common interests or experiences you have shared.\\nFor example, if she loves cats, then find a way to incorporate a cat theme into the promposal.\\nIf you two had a fun experience together, like a summer camping trip where you hit it off, try to include a reference to this when you ask her.\\nThere are infinite ways to customize a promposal. Above all, you just want to show that you put the time and effort into personalizing it for the person you want to take! She will appreciate the time and effort you put into it.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be romantic if it’s a romantic situation.\", \"描述\": \"Incorporate some romance, such as bringing the girl her favorite flowers or writing her a love poem, into your promposal if love is in the air. Don’t do this if you are just asking a friend or someone who you don’t want a romantic situation with.\\nThis is another situation in which you can ask her friends about things she likes such as her favorite flowers or chocolates.\\nMake sure that the situation is romantic before you decide to ask in a romantic way. You don’t want to cause an awkward situation with a friend or confuse someone you don’t have any romantic feelings for.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Have a back up plan in case she says no or can’t go.\", \"描述\": \"There is always the possibility that the girl you want to ask doesn’t actually want to go with you. She might not be allowed to or have another commitment.\\nYou can make a deal to go with a friend in case you both don’t get dates or decide on a second choice that you would enjoy going to prom with.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking in a Creative Way\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Spell out the question in Legos.\", \"描述\": \"Take out your old Legos or borrow some from your kid sibling, and spell out \\\"Prom?\\\" with the blocky letters. Wait for her to approach the letters and break into a smile.\\nPlace the letters in a hallway after school, where the girl will be sure to see them, or lead her outside and then ask her, \\\"Hey, what's that over there?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a puzzle asking her to go to prom.\", \"描述\": \"Write, \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" on a piece of paper and cut it up into several \\\"puzzle pieces.\\\" Place them in a small bag and ask the girl to put the puzzle together for you. Once she solves the puzzle, she'll be impressed that you took so much time to put together your prom proposal.\\nMake sure that the puzzle isn’t too complicated! You want to hear the answer without waiting forever for the girl to put the pieces together.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write out your promposal in chalk.\", \"描述\": \"Take some sidewalk chalk and ask her to go to prom with you by writing something like, “You? Me? Prom?”, in a big, open place. Spend a lot of time and effort on making the letters, so she'll be truly impressed!\\nYou can write the promposal on the sidewalk in a park, at school, or in her driveway or your own -- as long as your parents don't mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write the question on a board in her classroom.\", \"描述\": \"Sneak into her next classroom a bit early, and write, \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" on the board. Write your names on the board as well so there is no confusion.\\nYou can also hang up a poster in the classroom as an alternative to writing it on the board.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Cover something of hers in sticky notes to ask her to prom.\", \"描述\": \"Cover her locker, car, or desk in the sticky notes with your promposal. Get creative and create some artwork in the sticky notes, like a big heart, if you have the space.\\nOne way you can do this is to stick a sticky note with the letter \\\"P\\\" on her locker. When she sees it and takes it off, sneak up and stick one that says \\\"R\\\" on it. Keep going until you've individually stuck on sticky notes that spell \\\"P-R-O-M?\\\" and you reveal your identity.\\nAnother idea is covering her desk with sticky notes that say, “Will you stick by my side at prom?”\\nBe a gentleman and help her clean up the sticky notes when you’re done.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking in a Romantic Way\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Serenade your sweetheart with a song and end it with the promposal.\", \"描述\": \"Grab a guitar and sing a sweet song that ends with you asking your special lady to go to the prom with you. Serenade the girl after school near your car or in the back parking lot, or even in school in the cafeteria if you want to put on a show.\\nIf you don't know how to play guitar, you can impress the girl by learning a song just for her, or you can ask a friend to play the guitar as you sing.\\nIf guitar isn’t your thing, then you could create a cute rap song and rap it to her while playing the beat from a boombox.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write her a romantic poem to ask her.\", \"描述\": \"Write the girl a poem that tells her how amazing she is, ending with some words that say she'd be the perfect prom date. Hand her the poem and wait for her reaction, or tuck the poem into her textbook or locker, or ask one of her friends to sneak it into her backpack.\\nTry to personalize the poem as much as possible. Include things like inside jokes or funny references that she will get to make her smile and laugh as she reads it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Decorate something of hers with your promposal.\", \"描述\": \"Write on her locker, car, or desk with washable paint. Stick balloons, flowers, and anything else you want to use to decorate around your message to decorate it.\\nMake sure that anything you use to decorate will be easy to clean up! You don’t want her to not be able to drive home because you covered her car windows in a hard-to-clean promposal.\\nFor example, you could write on her car, “You drive me crazy, will you go to prom with me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write her the question in heart-shaped candy.\", \"描述\": \"Find some heart-shaped candy. Spell out, \\\"I Think you’re sweet. Want to go to prom?\\\" either on the floor, her desk, or stuck to her locker.\\nMake sure you place the candy in a place where she can easily see them, and that she actually likes candy.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send or give her flowers to ask her to prom.\", \"描述\": \"Deliver her a single rose or a bouquet of her favorite flowers. Attach a note asking her to prom or just straight up ask her as you give her the flower.\\nYou could have your friends deliver five flowers to her, one at a time, saying that they're from her secret admirer. The first will have the letter \\\"P\\\" taped to it, and each flower will spell out the rest of the question: \\\"P-R-O-M?\\\" The last flower can also reveal your identity.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take her to dinner and write the question in your dessert.\", \"描述\": \"Call the restaurant in advance to make a reservation and make sure that the chef can write \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" or \\\"Prom?\\\" in icing on the dessert that you'll insist on ordering. Take the girl out and wait for her reaction when she sees the dessert.\\nYou can ask for candles or sparklers in the dessert for a more dramatic presentation.\\nYou could do a variation of this sweet promposal by giving her a box of donuts for dessert with “PROM?” spelled out on them, and a message that says, “I donut want to go with anyone but you!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask in a Funny Way\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask with the help of a dog for a cute and funny promposal.\", \"描述\": \"Prepare a sign that says \\\"Prom?\\\" and hang it around your beloved pet's neck. Invite the girl over to your house and call your dog to come join you while you are hanging out. Watch the girl laugh as she reads the note around his neck.\\nYou can also try this trick with a very obedient cat.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask with a pizza for a cheesy promposal.\", \"描述\": \"Invite the girl over and order a cheese pizza, or order the pizza with a group of friends. Quickly write, \\\"I know this is cheesy, but will you go to prom with me?\\\" on the inside of the lid of the pizza box as soon as the pizza arrives. Wait for the girl to open the pizza and laugh.\\nFor extra precaution, you can order the pizza and write on the box and then ask the girl to come over.\\nYou could also rearrange the toppings on a pizza to spell out “Prom?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spell out the question in a scantron for a funny classroom promposal.\", \"描述\": \"Ask your teacher for a scantron and write \\\"Prom?\\\" sideways on all of the bubbles. Approach the girl and tell her that you did really well on a test, then show her the scantron as evidence of your academic success.\\nYou could also try to coordinate this with a teacher the day they are handing back a scantron test result. Have them slip your promposal in with the girl’s test results.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask your question on a t-shirt.\", \"描述\": \"Decorate a white t-shirt that says, \\\"Will you go to prom with me?\\\" and put a box for \\\"Yes\\\" and \\\"No.\\\" Wear a marker around your neck and ask her to fill out the t-shirt with her answer.\\nThis will remind the girl of those precious notes that middle school boys use to ask out girls and she will laugh and naturally accept.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Coordinate a dance with some talented friends.\", \"描述\": \"Making a corny dance with your friends in front of the girl is the perfect way to ask her to prom. Do the dance after school, in the hallways, or even the cafeteria.\\nWhen the dance is over, stand in a line with your friends, all the way on the right side. Then, everyone will remove their shirts from left to right, until they spell out \\\"P-R-O-M-?\\\" Your shirt will have the question mark on it.\\nThis silly dance will show the girl that you're comfortable enough with yourself to be completely goofy, and that you'll be the perfect prom date.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,565 | How to Ask a Girl to a Dance | 1. Planning to Ask Her
1-1. Ask her a few weeks before the dance.
Don't wait to ask her on the day of the dance. She might already have a date by then, and there's a chance that she'll think she wasn't your first choice. Ask her around two to three weeks before the dance. This also gives her time to figure out what to wear.
1-2. Practice what you’ll say.
Spend a few minutes going over what you want to say so you don’t trip over your words when the time comes. You can even practice in front of the mirror until your question sounds casual and sincere. Make sure you have a go-with-the-flow attitude.
1-3. Dress nicely
You don't have to go all out and wear something like a suit; save that for the dance. Just make sure you've showered, your hair looks nice, and that you're wearing an outfit that doesn't look sloppy.
Use deodorant and brush your teeth beforehand.
Don't overdo it on the cologne, as this might push her away.
1-4. Remember, no means no.
If she says she doesn't like you in that way or just says “no,” then back off. Nothing ticks a girl off more than an annoying guy that doesn't leave her alone. Not only is it rude, but it can make her dislike you more.
If she says "no," do not ask why. Say something like, "Oh, all right. No problem."
If she says, "I'll think about it," don't call her for a confirmed response. Wait until she calls you back. If she doesn't call back three days before the date of the dance, take it as a no.
2. Coming Up With a Creative Way to Ask
2-1. Bring her a small gift.
Pick up something simple like flowers or candy. Give the gift to her before you ask if she’ll be your date. There won't be as much pressure on her to say yes if you stick with something simple, and she'll appreciate the kind gesture.
2-2. Get romantic.
Asking her in a romantic way will create a memory she won’t forget. One idea is to put a bunch of keys in a bucket and label one with the words “find the key to my heart.” Label it with your address, and hopefully she'll follow cue and come over to your house where you can finally ask her to the dance.
2-3. Spell it out.
Write your message on balloons and deliver them to her. Each balloon could have a different word on it (e.g. one balloon each for “Will” “you” “go” “to” “the” “dance” “with” “me” “?”). You could also spell out your message in candy, like jellybeans or lollipops. Get permission (from the principal or her parent) to put the candy message in her locker or her bedroom.
2-4. Write it in chalk.
Get permission from her parents to decorate her driveway. Spell out your message, or simply put “Dance?” Get creative by using a variety or colors or illustrating your message.
2-5. Create a treasure hunt.
Design a treasure hunt with a map that will lead her straight to you. For example, draw a map of your school and add a dotted line leading to the parking lot. Wait there for her to arrive, and present her with flowers or candy for completing the hunt. Then ask her to the dance.
3. Popping the Question
3-1. Start the conversation.
Before asking a girl to a dance, you should start the conversation with something as generic as a simple hello. Try this method and you will come across her smoothly.
3-2. Ask her in person.
Though you may be tempted to ask her over text message, she’ll appreciate it more if you ask her in person. You can text her to see if she can meet up with you, or find her before or after class.
3-3. Make sure that you two are alone.
Find a private area at school (but not too private), and ask her there. If you ask her in public, she may feel pressured to say yes and this also puts her in an embarrassing situation. Asking her in public could also be embarrassing for you if she declines your invitation!
3-4. Be confident
Take a deep breath before you approach her. Look her straight in the eyes and keep your head up during the conversation so you appear present and engaging. No matter how nervous you are, take your time.
3-5. Tell her that she looks nice
Start the conversation by saying something like, “You look very nice today.” Hopefully, she'll appreciate the compliment and it will make the “asking her out” part much easier.
3-6. Make your move.
Be straightforward and explain that you want her to be your date. Say something like “Would you like to go to the dance with me?” or “I was hoping we could go to the dance together. What do you think?”
If she already has a date, you can say something like, “Oh, that’s a bummer. I was hoping we could go together. Maybe next time?”
Tips
Asking a girl to just any dance is one thing, but if you're asking her to prom, you'll probably want some extra advice.
Go easy on yourself. Not everything has to be absolutely perfect.
Be yourself.
Warnings
Never have a friend ask her for you; girls would rather you had the courage to do it yourself.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Planning to Ask Her\\n1-1. Ask her a few weeks before the dance.\\nDon't wait to ask her on the day of the dance. She might already have a date by then, and there's a chance that she'll think she wasn't your first choice. Ask her around two to three weeks before the dance. This also gives her time to figure out what to wear.\\n1-2. Practice what you’ll say.\\nSpend a few minutes going over what you want to say so you don’t trip over your words when the time comes. You can even practice in front of the mirror until your question sounds casual and sincere. Make sure you have a go-with-the-flow attitude.\\n1-3. Dress nicely\\nYou don't have to go all out and wear something like a suit; save that for the dance. Just make sure you've showered, your hair looks nice, and that you're wearing an outfit that doesn't look sloppy.\\nUse deodorant and brush your teeth beforehand.\\nDon't overdo it on the cologne, as this might push her away.\\n1-4. Remember, no means no.\\nIf she says she doesn't like you in that way or just says “no,” then back off. Nothing ticks a girl off more than an annoying guy that doesn't leave her alone. Not only is it rude, but it can make her dislike you more.\\nIf she says \\\"no,\\\" do not ask why. Say something like, \\\"Oh, all right. No problem.\\\"\\nIf she says, \\\"I'll think about it,\\\" don't call her for a confirmed response. Wait until she calls you back. If she doesn't call back three days before the date of the dance, take it as a no.\\n2. Coming Up With a Creative Way to Ask\\n2-1. Bring her a small gift.\\nPick up something simple like flowers or candy. Give the gift to her before you ask if she’ll be your date. There won't be as much pressure on her to say yes if you stick with something simple, and she'll appreciate the kind gesture.\\n2-2. Get romantic.\\nAsking her in a romantic way will create a memory she won’t forget. One idea is to put a bunch of keys in a bucket and label one with the words “find the key to my heart.” Label it with your address, and hopefully she'll follow cue and come over to your house where you can finally ask her to the dance.\\n2-3. Spell it out.\\nWrite your message on balloons and deliver them to her. Each balloon could have a different word on it (e.g. one balloon each for “Will” “you” “go” “to” “the” “dance” “with” “me” “?”). You could also spell out your message in candy, like jellybeans or lollipops. Get permission (from the principal or her parent) to put the candy message in her locker or her bedroom.\\n2-4. Write it in chalk.\\nGet permission from her parents to decorate her driveway. Spell out your message, or simply put “Dance?” Get creative by using a variety or colors or illustrating your message.\\n2-5. Create a treasure hunt.\\nDesign a treasure hunt with a map that will lead her straight to you. For example, draw a map of your school and add a dotted line leading to the parking lot. Wait there for her to arrive, and present her with flowers or candy for completing the hunt. Then ask her to the dance.\\n3. Popping the Question\\n3-1. Start the conversation.\\nBefore asking a girl to a dance, you should start the conversation with something as generic as a simple hello. Try this method and you will come across her smoothly.\\n3-2. Ask her in person.\\nThough you may be tempted to ask her over text message, she’ll appreciate it more if you ask her in person. You can text her to see if she can meet up with you, or find her before or after class.\\n3-3. Make sure that you two are alone.\\nFind a private area at school (but not too private), and ask her there. If you ask her in public, she may feel pressured to say yes and this also puts her in an embarrassing situation. Asking her in public could also be embarrassing for you if she declines your invitation!\\n3-4. Be confident\\nTake a deep breath before you approach her. Look her straight in the eyes and keep your head up during the conversation so you appear present and engaging. No matter how nervous you are, take your time.\\n3-5. Tell her that she looks nice\\nStart the conversation by saying something like, “You look very nice today.” Hopefully, she'll appreciate the compliment and it will make the “asking her out” part much easier.\\n3-6. Make your move.\\nBe straightforward and explain that you want her to be your date. Say something like “Would you like to go to the dance with me?” or “I was hoping we could go to the dance together. What do you think?”\\nIf she already has a date, you can say something like, “Oh, that’s a bummer. I was hoping we could go together. Maybe next time?”\\nTips\\nAsking a girl to just any dance is one thing, but if you're asking her to prom, you'll probably want some extra advice.\\nGo easy on yourself. Not everything has to be absolutely perfect.\\nBe yourself.\\nWarnings\\nNever have a friend ask her for you; girls would rather you had the courage to do it yourself.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Are you a bit too shy to ask your favorite girl to the school dance? Making a plan and practicing what you’ll say can help you feel more confident. Asking a girl to a dance is all about destroying your fear of rejection and being the real you, because a guy with nothing to lose is a guy girls want to be around.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Planning to Ask Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her a few weeks before the dance.\", \"描述\": \"Don't wait to ask her on the day of the dance. She might already have a date by then, and there's a chance that she'll think she wasn't your first choice. Ask her around two to three weeks before the dance. This also gives her time to figure out what to wear.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice what you’ll say.\", \"描述\": \"Spend a few minutes going over what you want to say so you don’t trip over your words when the time comes. You can even practice in front of the mirror until your question sounds casual and sincere. Make sure you have a go-with-the-flow attitude.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dress nicely\", \"描述\": \"You don't have to go all out and wear something like a suit; save that for the dance. Just make sure you've showered, your hair looks nice, and that you're wearing an outfit that doesn't look sloppy.\\nUse deodorant and brush your teeth beforehand.\\nDon't overdo it on the cologne, as this might push her away.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember, no means no.\", \"描述\": \"If she says she doesn't like you in that way or just says “no,” then back off. Nothing ticks a girl off more than an annoying guy that doesn't leave her alone. Not only is it rude, but it can make her dislike you more.\\nIf she says \\\"no,\\\" do not ask why. Say something like, \\\"Oh, all right. No problem.\\\"\\nIf she says, \\\"I'll think about it,\\\" don't call her for a confirmed response. Wait until she calls you back. If she doesn't call back three days before the date of the dance, take it as a no.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Coming Up With a Creative Way to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Bring her a small gift.\", \"描述\": \"Pick up something simple like flowers or candy. Give the gift to her before you ask if she’ll be your date. There won't be as much pressure on her to say yes if you stick with something simple, and she'll appreciate the kind gesture.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get romantic.\", \"描述\": \"Asking her in a romantic way will create a memory she won’t forget. One idea is to put a bunch of keys in a bucket and label one with the words “find the key to my heart.” Label it with your address, and hopefully she'll follow cue and come over to your house where you can finally ask her to the dance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Spell it out.\", \"描述\": \"Write your message on balloons and deliver them to her. Each balloon could have a different word on it (e.g. one balloon each for “Will” “you” “go” “to” “the” “dance” “with” “me” “?”). You could also spell out your message in candy, like jellybeans or lollipops. Get permission (from the principal or her parent) to put the candy message in her locker or her bedroom.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write it in chalk.\", \"描述\": \"Get permission from her parents to decorate her driveway. Spell out your message, or simply put “Dance?” Get creative by using a variety or colors or illustrating your message.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Create a treasure hunt.\", \"描述\": \"Design a treasure hunt with a map that will lead her straight to you. For example, draw a map of your school and add a dotted line leading to the parking lot. Wait there for her to arrive, and present her with flowers or candy for completing the hunt. Then ask her to the dance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Popping the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Before asking a girl to a dance, you should start the conversation with something as generic as a simple hello. Try this method and you will come across her smoothly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her in person.\", \"描述\": \"Though you may be tempted to ask her over text message, she’ll appreciate it more if you ask her in person. You can text her to see if she can meet up with you, or find her before or after class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Make sure that you two are alone.\", \"描述\": \"Find a private area at school (but not too private), and ask her there. If you ask her in public, she may feel pressured to say yes and this also puts her in an embarrassing situation. Asking her in public could also be embarrassing for you if she declines your invitation!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be confident\", \"描述\": \"Take a deep breath before you approach her. Look her straight in the eyes and keep your head up during the conversation so you appear present and engaging. No matter how nervous you are, take your time.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell her that she looks nice\", \"描述\": \"Start the conversation by saying something like, “You look very nice today.” Hopefully, she'll appreciate the compliment and it will make the “asking her out” part much easier.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Make your move.\", \"描述\": \"Be straightforward and explain that you want her to be your date. Say something like “Would you like to go to the dance with me?” or “I was hoping we could go to the dance together. What do you think?”\\nIf she already has a date, you can say something like, “Oh, that’s a bummer. I was hoping we could go together. Maybe next time?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Asking a girl to just any dance is one thing, but if you're asking her to prom, you'll probably want some extra advice.\\n\", \"Go easy on yourself. Not everything has to be absolutely perfect.\\n\", \"Be yourself.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never have a friend ask her for you; girls would rather you had the courage to do it yourself.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,566 | How to Ask a Girl to the Movies | 1. Texting Her to Ask Her Out
1-1. Get her phone number
If you'd be more comfortable asking her out through text, get her phone number. The best way to get her number is to ask her for it yourself, but if one of your friends has it, you can ask if they'll pass it on to you.
If a friend gave you her number, let her know when you text her the first time so she doesn't think you're stalking her. Say something like, “Hey Lilah, this is Jamie. I got your number from Jacob, I hope you don't mind!”
Better yet, have your friend text her and ask if it is okay for them to give you her phone number. (This can also be an indicator that she may be interested in talking with you sometime.)
1-2. Ask her out early in the conversation.
It's fine to make a little small talk first, but you don't want the conversation to turn mundane. Try to get to the point as soon as possible.
Try breaking the ice with a question like “How was your day?” You can chat about her answer, but when that conversation starts to fade, go ahead and tell her what's on your mind.
1-3. Keep it simple when you ask her out.
You don't need to send her three paragraphs detailing everything you like about her. Being straightforward will make you seem more confident. If you're asking her on a date, make sure it's clear when you ask her!
Try including a compliment when you ask her out. Say something like, “I think you're really cool. Some friends and I are going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 on Friday. Do you want to be my date?”
1-4. Wait for her response.
Don't send her a wall of texts if she hasn't answered yet. She might be busy or she might be trying to decide how she wants to answer. Wait patiently for her to respond to your texts before you send any new ones.
1-5. Wrap up the conversation when you get an answer.
If she says yes, awesome! Set up your plans and tell her you'll talk to her later.
If she says no, send her a gracious text that lets her know you respect her answer. Say something like, “No problem, maybe we can hang out another time. Have a great night!”
2. Asking Her out in Person
2-1. Comb your hair, put on deodorant, and wear a nice outfit.
When you're ready to make your move, make sure you look and smell your best by taking a little extra time when you get dressed. Comb your hair neatly, pick an outfit that's clean and wrinkle-free, and put on deodorant and a light cologne or perfume. Girls appreciate good hygiene, and looking your best might give you an extra confidence boost.
2-2. Plan to invite other friends if you don't know the girl very well.
If you don't know each other well, the girl might feel more comfortable going to the movies with a group of friends. This is also an excuse to spend time together without experiencing the awkward tension that is common with one-on-one dates. If she has strict parents, going out as part of a group might make it easier for her to get permission to go with you, too.
2-3. Approach her
Make sure you'll have her full attention by picking a time when she's not talking to anyone else or busy with schoolwork. If she's sitting at a table by herself, make eye contact and smile, then ask if you can sit down. If she's standing in a group talking to other people, join the group and wait for a break in the conversation, then ask her if you can talk to her alone.
If she's with friends, wait for a break in the conversation, then try saying something like, “Hey, Janie, I wanted to ask you something. Can we go talk over there for just a minute?”
It's okay to ask her out in front of her friends, but if she says no, you might feel embarrassed because there were people watching.
2-4. Try not to be too goofy when you ask her out.
Cracking jokes can help you calm your nervous energy, especially if you are known for being funny, but she might not take you seriously if you joke around too much. It is okay to be nervous around a girl you like; she might find your nervousness adorable. Take a deep breath to calm your nerves, make eye contact with her, and think about what you like about this girl before you ask her out.
Also be careful not to talk too much about yourself if you get nervous. You might come across as conceited or not interested in the girl herself!
2-5. Be straightforward and invite her to the movies with you.
Ask her to the movies early in the conversation. If you think of this as a date, you should let her know up front. Only ask about a specific movie if you know she has been wanting to see it.
Try saying something like, “Are you interested in seeing the new Jurassic World sequel? Some friends and I are thinking of going next Friday. Would you like to be my date?”
If she says she doesn't want to see that movie or she's already seen it, suggest your second pick or ask if there is another movie she would like to see. If she says no to that, she may not be interested in dating you.
2-6. Accept her answer with a smile no matter what she says.
If she says yes, great! Ask for her phone number if you don't already have it and tell her you'll text her to figure out a time and the tickets. If she turns you down, accept it gracefully. Try saying something like, “No problem, maybe another time.” Even if your feelings are hurt, try not to show it. Just be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there.
3. Having Fun at the Movies
3-1. Choose a light-hearted movie.
If it's your first time seeing a movie together, avoid movies with a serious or depressing theme. Avoid romantic movies as well. Pick a comedy or action movie to keep the mood lighthearted. Romantic comedies can be a fun way to have a few laughs while setting a date mood.
3-2. Pick a movie you'll both like.
Don't assume she wants to see a chick flick. Pick something you'll both like, not just a sappy love story that you picked because you think it's for girls. You'll be bored, and if she's the kind of girl who loves scary movies, she'll probably be bored too.
Just ask her what kind of movies she likes!
3-3. Buy the tickets in advance so the movie isn't sold out.
The last thing you want is to get to the movie theater only to find out that there aren't any seats left. Buy your tickets online or drop by the theater a few hours before the date so you'll have your tickets ahead of time. This will show her that you cared enough to plan ahead.
You don't always have to pay for everything in a relationship, but a good rule of thumb is that the person who does the asking usually picks up the bill for a date.
3-4. Be 5 minutes early whether you're picking her up or meeting her there.
Being late doesn't make you seem cool or like you have a busy life, it makes you seem inconsiderate. Try showing up about 5 minutes early. This will show her that you're interested without making you seem overeager.
You can use the time before the movie to hang out and chat for a bit since you won't be able to talk when the movie is playing.
3-5. Wear something nice but casual.
You'll be sitting in a chair for about 2 hours, and more if you decide to get something to eat after the movie, so choose an outfit that is comfortable but nice-looking. Think along the lines of a nice shirt and jeans or an Oxford shirt and khakis.
Choose something that you feel confident in and that you think you look good in, so that you can start the date feeling confident.
3-6. Buy popcorn and drinks if you have extra money.
If you can afford it, it's a nice gesture to offer her a snack and a drink to enjoy during the movie. Ask her what she likes, then get it for her. Keep it simple, though — there's no need to buy her the entire concession stand.
3-7. Make eye contact during a funny part of the movie.
If you notice that you're both laughing at the same part of the movie, look over and catch her eye. Laughing together can make you both feel closer to each other, and you'll have something to talk about after the movie is over.
3-8. Try putting your arm around her or hold her hand if she leans towards you.
During the movie, you might notice her leaning towards you. If she does this, it might be a sign that she likes you and is enjoying herself. This might be a good time to try brushing your hand against hers. If she doesn't pull away, try holding her hand. If she moves away, let her.
You should pay attention to her body language to see how comfortable she feels around you, before initiating physical contact.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Texting Her to Ask Her Out\\n1-1. Get her phone number\\nIf you'd be more comfortable asking her out through text, get her phone number. The best way to get her number is to ask her for it yourself, but if one of your friends has it, you can ask if they'll pass it on to you.\\nIf a friend gave you her number, let her know when you text her the first time so she doesn't think you're stalking her. Say something like, “Hey Lilah, this is Jamie. I got your number from Jacob, I hope you don't mind!”\\nBetter yet, have your friend text her and ask if it is okay for them to give you her phone number. (This can also be an indicator that she may be interested in talking with you sometime.)\\n1-2. Ask her out early in the conversation.\\nIt's fine to make a little small talk first, but you don't want the conversation to turn mundane. Try to get to the point as soon as possible.\\nTry breaking the ice with a question like “How was your day?” You can chat about her answer, but when that conversation starts to fade, go ahead and tell her what's on your mind.\\n1-3. Keep it simple when you ask her out.\\nYou don't need to send her three paragraphs detailing everything you like about her. Being straightforward will make you seem more confident. If you're asking her on a date, make sure it's clear when you ask her!\\nTry including a compliment when you ask her out. Say something like, “I think you're really cool. Some friends and I are going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 on Friday. Do you want to be my date?”\\n1-4. Wait for her response.\\nDon't send her a wall of texts if she hasn't answered yet. She might be busy or she might be trying to decide how she wants to answer. Wait patiently for her to respond to your texts before you send any new ones.\\n1-5. Wrap up the conversation when you get an answer.\\nIf she says yes, awesome! Set up your plans and tell her you'll talk to her later.\\nIf she says no, send her a gracious text that lets her know you respect her answer. Say something like, “No problem, maybe we can hang out another time. Have a great night!”\\n2. Asking Her out in Person\\n2-1. Comb your hair, put on deodorant, and wear a nice outfit.\\nWhen you're ready to make your move, make sure you look and smell your best by taking a little extra time when you get dressed. Comb your hair neatly, pick an outfit that's clean and wrinkle-free, and put on deodorant and a light cologne or perfume. Girls appreciate good hygiene, and looking your best might give you an extra confidence boost.\\n2-2. Plan to invite other friends if you don't know the girl very well.\\nIf you don't know each other well, the girl might feel more comfortable going to the movies with a group of friends. This is also an excuse to spend time together without experiencing the awkward tension that is common with one-on-one dates. If she has strict parents, going out as part of a group might make it easier for her to get permission to go with you, too.\\n2-3. Approach her\\nMake sure you'll have her full attention by picking a time when she's not talking to anyone else or busy with schoolwork. If she's sitting at a table by herself, make eye contact and smile, then ask if you can sit down. If she's standing in a group talking to other people, join the group and wait for a break in the conversation, then ask her if you can talk to her alone.\\nIf she's with friends, wait for a break in the conversation, then try saying something like, “Hey, Janie, I wanted to ask you something. Can we go talk over there for just a minute?”\\nIt's okay to ask her out in front of her friends, but if she says no, you might feel embarrassed because there were people watching.\\n2-4. Try not to be too goofy when you ask her out.\\nCracking jokes can help you calm your nervous energy, especially if you are known for being funny, but she might not take you seriously if you joke around too much. It is okay to be nervous around a girl you like; she might find your nervousness adorable. Take a deep breath to calm your nerves, make eye contact with her, and think about what you like about this girl before you ask her out.\\nAlso be careful not to talk too much about yourself if you get nervous. You might come across as conceited or not interested in the girl herself!\\n2-5. Be straightforward and invite her to the movies with you.\\nAsk her to the movies early in the conversation. If you think of this as a date, you should let her know up front. Only ask about a specific movie if you know she has been wanting to see it. \\nTry saying something like, “Are you interested in seeing the new Jurassic World sequel? Some friends and I are thinking of going next Friday. Would you like to be my date?”\\nIf she says she doesn't want to see that movie or she's already seen it, suggest your second pick or ask if there is another movie she would like to see. If she says no to that, she may not be interested in dating you.\\n2-6. Accept her answer with a smile no matter what she says.\\nIf she says yes, great! Ask for her phone number if you don't already have it and tell her you'll text her to figure out a time and the tickets. If she turns you down, accept it gracefully. Try saying something like, “No problem, maybe another time.” Even if your feelings are hurt, try not to show it. Just be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there.\\n3. Having Fun at the Movies\\n3-1. Choose a light-hearted movie.\\nIf it's your first time seeing a movie together, avoid movies with a serious or depressing theme. Avoid romantic movies as well. Pick a comedy or action movie to keep the mood lighthearted. Romantic comedies can be a fun way to have a few laughs while setting a date mood.\\n3-2. Pick a movie you'll both like.\\nDon't assume she wants to see a chick flick. Pick something you'll both like, not just a sappy love story that you picked because you think it's for girls. You'll be bored, and if she's the kind of girl who loves scary movies, she'll probably be bored too.\\nJust ask her what kind of movies she likes!\\n3-3. Buy the tickets in advance so the movie isn't sold out.\\nThe last thing you want is to get to the movie theater only to find out that there aren't any seats left. Buy your tickets online or drop by the theater a few hours before the date so you'll have your tickets ahead of time. This will show her that you cared enough to plan ahead.\\nYou don't always have to pay for everything in a relationship, but a good rule of thumb is that the person who does the asking usually picks up the bill for a date.\\n3-4. Be 5 minutes early whether you're picking her up or meeting her there.\\nBeing late doesn't make you seem cool or like you have a busy life, it makes you seem inconsiderate. Try showing up about 5 minutes early. This will show her that you're interested without making you seem overeager.\\nYou can use the time before the movie to hang out and chat for a bit since you won't be able to talk when the movie is playing.\\n3-5. Wear something nice but casual.\\nYou'll be sitting in a chair for about 2 hours, and more if you decide to get something to eat after the movie, so choose an outfit that is comfortable but nice-looking. Think along the lines of a nice shirt and jeans or an Oxford shirt and khakis.\\nChoose something that you feel confident in and that you think you look good in, so that you can start the date feeling confident.\\n3-6. Buy popcorn and drinks if you have extra money.\\nIf you can afford it, it's a nice gesture to offer her a snack and a drink to enjoy during the movie. Ask her what she likes, then get it for her. Keep it simple, though — there's no need to buy her the entire concession stand.\\n3-7. Make eye contact during a funny part of the movie.\\nIf you notice that you're both laughing at the same part of the movie, look over and catch her eye. Laughing together can make you both feel closer to each other, and you'll have something to talk about after the movie is over.\\n3-8. Try putting your arm around her or hold her hand if she leans towards you.\\nDuring the movie, you might notice her leaning towards you. If she does this, it might be a sign that she likes you and is enjoying herself. This might be a good time to try brushing your hand against hers. If she doesn't pull away, try holding her hand. If she moves away, let her. \\nYou should pay attention to her body language to see how comfortable she feels around you, before initiating physical contact.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Taking a girl to the movies can be a fun and casual way to spend time together, but asking her out can be scary. There's no need to worry, though. Know what's playing in theaters ahead of time and find the right time to ask her, and she just might say yes!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Texting Her to Ask Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get her phone number\", \"描述\": \"If you'd be more comfortable asking her out through text, get her phone number. The best way to get her number is to ask her for it yourself, but if one of your friends has it, you can ask if they'll pass it on to you.\\nIf a friend gave you her number, let her know when you text her the first time so she doesn't think you're stalking her. Say something like, “Hey Lilah, this is Jamie. I got your number from Jacob, I hope you don't mind!”\\nBetter yet, have your friend text her and ask if it is okay for them to give you her phone number. (This can also be an indicator that she may be interested in talking with you sometime.)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask her out early in the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"It's fine to make a little small talk first, but you don't want the conversation to turn mundane. Try to get to the point as soon as possible.\\nTry breaking the ice with a question like “How was your day?” You can chat about her answer, but when that conversation starts to fade, go ahead and tell her what's on your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple when you ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to send her three paragraphs detailing everything you like about her. Being straightforward will make you seem more confident. If you're asking her on a date, make sure it's clear when you ask her!\\nTry including a compliment when you ask her out. Say something like, “I think you're really cool. Some friends and I are going to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 on Friday. Do you want to be my date?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait for her response.\", \"描述\": \"Don't send her a wall of texts if she hasn't answered yet. She might be busy or she might be trying to decide how she wants to answer. Wait patiently for her to respond to your texts before you send any new ones.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wrap up the conversation when you get an answer.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, awesome! Set up your plans and tell her you'll talk to her later.\\nIf she says no, send her a gracious text that lets her know you respect her answer. Say something like, “No problem, maybe we can hang out another time. Have a great night!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Her out in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Comb your hair, put on deodorant, and wear a nice outfit.\", \"描述\": \"When you're ready to make your move, make sure you look and smell your best by taking a little extra time when you get dressed. Comb your hair neatly, pick an outfit that's clean and wrinkle-free, and put on deodorant and a light cologne or perfume. Girls appreciate good hygiene, and looking your best might give you an extra confidence boost.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Plan to invite other friends if you don't know the girl very well.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't know each other well, the girl might feel more comfortable going to the movies with a group of friends. This is also an excuse to spend time together without experiencing the awkward tension that is common with one-on-one dates. If she has strict parents, going out as part of a group might make it easier for her to get permission to go with you, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Approach her\", \"描述\": \"Make sure you'll have her full attention by picking a time when she's not talking to anyone else or busy with schoolwork. If she's sitting at a table by herself, make eye contact and smile, then ask if you can sit down. If she's standing in a group talking to other people, join the group and wait for a break in the conversation, then ask her if you can talk to her alone.\\nIf she's with friends, wait for a break in the conversation, then try saying something like, “Hey, Janie, I wanted to ask you something. Can we go talk over there for just a minute?”\\nIt's okay to ask her out in front of her friends, but if she says no, you might feel embarrassed because there were people watching.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try not to be too goofy when you ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"Cracking jokes can help you calm your nervous energy, especially if you are known for being funny, but she might not take you seriously if you joke around too much. It is okay to be nervous around a girl you like; she might find your nervousness adorable. Take a deep breath to calm your nerves, make eye contact with her, and think about what you like about this girl before you ask her out.\\nAlso be careful not to talk too much about yourself if you get nervous. You might come across as conceited or not interested in the girl herself!\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be straightforward and invite her to the movies with you.\", \"描述\": \"Ask her to the movies early in the conversation. If you think of this as a date, you should let her know up front. Only ask about a specific movie if you know she has been wanting to see it. \\nTry saying something like, “Are you interested in seeing the new Jurassic World sequel? Some friends and I are thinking of going next Friday. Would you like to be my date?”\\nIf she says she doesn't want to see that movie or she's already seen it, suggest your second pick or ask if there is another movie she would like to see. If she says no to that, she may not be interested in dating you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Accept her answer with a smile no matter what she says.\", \"描述\": \"If she says yes, great! Ask for her phone number if you don't already have it and tell her you'll text her to figure out a time and the tickets. If she turns you down, accept it gracefully. Try saying something like, “No problem, maybe another time.” Even if your feelings are hurt, try not to show it. Just be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Having Fun at the Movies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose a light-hearted movie.\", \"描述\": \"If it's your first time seeing a movie together, avoid movies with a serious or depressing theme. Avoid romantic movies as well. Pick a comedy or action movie to keep the mood lighthearted. Romantic comedies can be a fun way to have a few laughs while setting a date mood.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick a movie you'll both like.\", \"描述\": \"Don't assume she wants to see a chick flick. Pick something you'll both like, not just a sappy love story that you picked because you think it's for girls. You'll be bored, and if she's the kind of girl who loves scary movies, she'll probably be bored too.\\nJust ask her what kind of movies she likes!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy the tickets in advance so the movie isn't sold out.\", \"描述\": \"The last thing you want is to get to the movie theater only to find out that there aren't any seats left. Buy your tickets online or drop by the theater a few hours before the date so you'll have your tickets ahead of time. This will show her that you cared enough to plan ahead.\\nYou don't always have to pay for everything in a relationship, but a good rule of thumb is that the person who does the asking usually picks up the bill for a date.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be 5 minutes early whether you're picking her up or meeting her there.\", \"描述\": \"Being late doesn't make you seem cool or like you have a busy life, it makes you seem inconsiderate. Try showing up about 5 minutes early. This will show her that you're interested without making you seem overeager.\\nYou can use the time before the movie to hang out and chat for a bit since you won't be able to talk when the movie is playing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Wear something nice but casual.\", \"描述\": \"You'll be sitting in a chair for about 2 hours, and more if you decide to get something to eat after the movie, so choose an outfit that is comfortable but nice-looking. Think along the lines of a nice shirt and jeans or an Oxford shirt and khakis.\\nChoose something that you feel confident in and that you think you look good in, so that you can start the date feeling confident.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Buy popcorn and drinks if you have extra money.\", \"描述\": \"If you can afford it, it's a nice gesture to offer her a snack and a drink to enjoy during the movie. Ask her what she likes, then get it for her. Keep it simple, though — there's no need to buy her the entire concession stand.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact during a funny part of the movie.\", \"描述\": \"If you notice that you're both laughing at the same part of the movie, look over and catch her eye. Laughing together can make you both feel closer to each other, and you'll have something to talk about after the movie is over.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Try putting your arm around her or hold her hand if she leans towards you.\", \"描述\": \"During the movie, you might notice her leaning towards you. If she does this, it might be a sign that she likes you and is enjoying herself. This might be a good time to try brushing your hand against hers. If she doesn't pull away, try holding her hand. If she moves away, let her. \\nYou should pay attention to her body language to see how comfortable she feels around you, before initiating physical contact.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,567 | How to Ask a Girl to the Movies by Text | 1. Initiating the Conversation
1-1. Start
Rather than simply saying "Hi," try initiating the conversation with a question. Ask her how her day is going or how her week has been. This gets the conversation moving forward from the start, and it'll make thinking of a response easier for her, too.
Text her something like, "Hey, how's your day been?"
Avoid starting the conversation with "Hey" and nothing else. She may not know how to respond that.
1-2. Show off your sense of humor.
If you know each other a little better or don't feel super inspired by a simple question, start things off with a funny meme, GIF, or joke. Being playful like this is a charming way to initiate the conversation, and setting a friendly tone can help you feel more comfortable when you ask her out.
Reference an inside joke that you share, like a funny thing in class that happened the other day.
Send over a funny picture of a cat with the caption, "Thought you might appreciate this..."
1-3. Flirt with her to gauge her interest.
Send her a compliment or a playful question to kick things off. It'll establish your interest in her from the start of the conversation, and you can use her response as a clue for whether she'll say yes or no when you ask her out.
Text her something like, "I didn't see you in class today! How am I supposed to go through Chemistry alone?"
Give her a subtle, genuine compliment. If you just met, text her something like, "I had a great time talking to you at the party last week. You've got an amazing sense of humor!"
If you know her a little better, try, "I loved that sweater you were wearing today."
2. Having a Great Date
2-1. Ask her directly and pick a specific date.
Avoid using casual terms like "hang out" so that she knows it's a date, and be sure to include a specific day. Even if you have to pick an alternative time, this shows that you intend to make these plans happen!
Text her, "Would you want to see a movie with me next Saturday?"
Alternatively, be a little playful with your ask. Try, "I want to see the new Final Destination on Friday, but I'm scared to see it alone. Any chance you want to come with me?"
2-2. Respond with a plan if she says yes.
You did it! Now that she's said yes, pick a movie theater and a showtime that works for both of you. Once you've decided on a time and place, look into pre-booking seats to make sure you can sit together.
If you'd like, ask if she'd like to get dinner before the movie. That way you can talk a little bit and get to know each other before it starts.
2-3. Avoid taking it personally if she says no.
Unfortunately, rejection is a part of dating, and everyone has to deal with it at some point. Let yourself feel your feelings (it's totally normal to be a little hurt!), and try to take it as an opportunity to meet someone who's better suited for you. End the conversation on a high note by respecting her wishes and responding with a brief and polite message.
Text her something like, "I totally understand. Thank you for letting me know!"
Look at the experience as practice for asking people out. What you did took guts, so congratulate yourself for your courage!
2-4. Pick a movie that she wants to see.
Text her and ask what kind of movies she enjoys. If she's open to anything or doesn't have a suggestion, look up a few movies and offer some choices. Pick a variety of films to choose from, like a horror movie, a comedy, and an action film.
Choosing a movie that you both will enjoy ups the chances of having a great date.
2-5. Order yummy snacks at the movies.
To make the experience more fun, go all out with snacks and drinks. Order some popcorn, a soda, and plenty of candy. If you're not a fan of the selection at the theater or the prices are expensive, consider going to a convenience store and sneaking in snacks with your date. This can make the date feel a little more spontaneous and exciting.
Sneak in snacks at your own risk. Most movie theaters don't technically allow this.
2-6. Be affectionate with your date during the movie.
If you both feel comfortable, try holding her hand, putting your arm around her, or even kissing her on the cheek. To determine if she's comfortable, start slow. Lean towards her and whisper in her ear during the movie. If she smiles and leans in to listen, that's a good sign that she may respond well to more affectionate gestures.
Only do things that you're both comfortable with. If your date doesn't want to talk or get close during the movie, she may just be shy or super into the film.
3. Following Up Afterwards
3-1. Let her know that you had a great time.
If you really enjoyed her company, tell her! Don't worry about texting her too soon. Text her when you get home or wait until the next day to share how much fun you had.
Send a brief message like, "Hey hope you got home safe! I had a great time tonight" or "Last night was so fun! Thanks again for a great Saturday."
Send her 1 message to start things off. Though you may be tempted to send her a bunch of texts about how cool she is, take it slow to avoid texting too much too soon.
3-2. Talk to her about the movie and ask her what she thought.
Keep the conversation going by referencing a particularly funny part of the film. If it was a scary movie, make a joke about that jump scare that both caught you off guard!
3-3. Ask her for a second date if it went well.
Don't be shy if you had a really great time. There's a huge chance she did, too. Let her know you enjoy spending time with her and suggest another activity for a second date.
Think of a different activity than watching a movie so that you can both learn new things about each other. Try going mini-golfing, getting lunch at a hip restaurant, or walking a trail at a local park.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Initiating the Conversation\\n1-1. Start\\nRather than simply saying \\\"Hi,\\\" try initiating the conversation with a question. Ask her how her day is going or how her week has been. This gets the conversation moving forward from the start, and it'll make thinking of a response easier for her, too.\\nText her something like, \\\"Hey, how's your day been?\\\"\\nAvoid starting the conversation with \\\"Hey\\\" and nothing else. She may not know how to respond that.\\n1-2. Show off your sense of humor.\\nIf you know each other a little better or don't feel super inspired by a simple question, start things off with a funny meme, GIF, or joke. Being playful like this is a charming way to initiate the conversation, and setting a friendly tone can help you feel more comfortable when you ask her out.\\nReference an inside joke that you share, like a funny thing in class that happened the other day.\\nSend over a funny picture of a cat with the caption, \\\"Thought you might appreciate this...\\\"\\n1-3. Flirt with her to gauge her interest.\\nSend her a compliment or a playful question to kick things off. It'll establish your interest in her from the start of the conversation, and you can use her response as a clue for whether she'll say yes or no when you ask her out.\\nText her something like, \\\"I didn't see you in class today! How am I supposed to go through Chemistry alone?\\\"\\nGive her a subtle, genuine compliment. If you just met, text her something like, \\\"I had a great time talking to you at the party last week. You've got an amazing sense of humor!\\\"\\nIf you know her a little better, try, \\\"I loved that sweater you were wearing today.\\\"\\n2. Having a Great Date\\n2-1. Ask her directly and pick a specific date.\\nAvoid using casual terms like \\\"hang out\\\" so that she knows it's a date, and be sure to include a specific day. Even if you have to pick an alternative time, this shows that you intend to make these plans happen!\\nText her, \\\"Would you want to see a movie with me next Saturday?\\\"\\nAlternatively, be a little playful with your ask. Try, \\\"I want to see the new Final Destination on Friday, but I'm scared to see it alone. Any chance you want to come with me?\\\"\\n2-2. Respond with a plan if she says yes.\\nYou did it! Now that she's said yes, pick a movie theater and a showtime that works for both of you. Once you've decided on a time and place, look into pre-booking seats to make sure you can sit together.\\nIf you'd like, ask if she'd like to get dinner before the movie. That way you can talk a little bit and get to know each other before it starts.\\n2-3. Avoid taking it personally if she says no.\\nUnfortunately, rejection is a part of dating, and everyone has to deal with it at some point. Let yourself feel your feelings (it's totally normal to be a little hurt!), and try to take it as an opportunity to meet someone who's better suited for you. End the conversation on a high note by respecting her wishes and responding with a brief and polite message.\\nText her something like, \\\"I totally understand. Thank you for letting me know!\\\"\\nLook at the experience as practice for asking people out. What you did took guts, so congratulate yourself for your courage!\\n2-4. Pick a movie that she wants to see.\\nText her and ask what kind of movies she enjoys. If she's open to anything or doesn't have a suggestion, look up a few movies and offer some choices. Pick a variety of films to choose from, like a horror movie, a comedy, and an action film.\\nChoosing a movie that you both will enjoy ups the chances of having a great date.\\n2-5. Order yummy snacks at the movies.\\nTo make the experience more fun, go all out with snacks and drinks. Order some popcorn, a soda, and plenty of candy. If you're not a fan of the selection at the theater or the prices are expensive, consider going to a convenience store and sneaking in snacks with your date. This can make the date feel a little more spontaneous and exciting.\\nSneak in snacks at your own risk. Most movie theaters don't technically allow this.\\n2-6. Be affectionate with your date during the movie.\\nIf you both feel comfortable, try holding her hand, putting your arm around her, or even kissing her on the cheek. To determine if she's comfortable, start slow. Lean towards her and whisper in her ear during the movie. If she smiles and leans in to listen, that's a good sign that she may respond well to more affectionate gestures.\\nOnly do things that you're both comfortable with. If your date doesn't want to talk or get close during the movie, she may just be shy or super into the film.\\n3. Following Up Afterwards\\n3-1. Let her know that you had a great time.\\nIf you really enjoyed her company, tell her! Don't worry about texting her too soon. Text her when you get home or wait until the next day to share how much fun you had.\\nSend a brief message like, \\\"Hey hope you got home safe! I had a great time tonight\\\" or \\\"Last night was so fun! Thanks again for a great Saturday.\\\"\\nSend her 1 message to start things off. Though you may be tempted to send her a bunch of texts about how cool she is, take it slow to avoid texting too much too soon.\\n3-2. Talk to her about the movie and ask her what she thought.\\nKeep the conversation going by referencing a particularly funny part of the film. If it was a scary movie, make a joke about that jump scare that both caught you off guard!\\n3-3. Ask her for a second date if it went well.\\nDon't be shy if you had a really great time. There's a huge chance she did, too. Let her know you enjoy spending time with her and suggest another activity for a second date.\\nThink of a different activity than watching a movie so that you can both learn new things about each other. Try going mini-golfing, getting lunch at a hip restaurant, or walking a trail at a local park.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The movie date: it's a staple for a reason. Watching a movie with the girl that you like is a fun way to get to know her and a great idea for a first date. If you're looking to ask her over text, there are a few things you can try to make sure the conversation goes as well as possible. Keep reading for some tips!This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Initiating the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start\", \"描述\": \"Rather than simply saying \\\"Hi,\\\" try initiating the conversation with a question. Ask her how her day is going or how her week has been. This gets the conversation moving forward from the start, and it'll make thinking of a response easier for her, too.\\nText her something like, \\\"Hey, how's your day been?\\\"\\nAvoid starting the conversation with \\\"Hey\\\" and nothing else. She may not know how to respond that.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show off your sense of humor.\", \"描述\": \"If you know each other a little better or don't feel super inspired by a simple question, start things off with a funny meme, GIF, or joke. Being playful like this is a charming way to initiate the conversation, and setting a friendly tone can help you feel more comfortable when you ask her out.\\nReference an inside joke that you share, like a funny thing in class that happened the other day.\\nSend over a funny picture of a cat with the caption, \\\"Thought you might appreciate this...\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flirt with her to gauge her interest.\", \"描述\": \"Send her a compliment or a playful question to kick things off. It'll establish your interest in her from the start of the conversation, and you can use her response as a clue for whether she'll say yes or no when you ask her out.\\nText her something like, \\\"I didn't see you in class today! How am I supposed to go through Chemistry alone?\\\"\\nGive her a subtle, genuine compliment. If you just met, text her something like, \\\"I had a great time talking to you at the party last week. You've got an amazing sense of humor!\\\"\\nIf you know her a little better, try, \\\"I loved that sweater you were wearing today.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Having a Great Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her directly and pick a specific date.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid using casual terms like \\\"hang out\\\" so that she knows it's a date, and be sure to include a specific day. Even if you have to pick an alternative time, this shows that you intend to make these plans happen!\\nText her, \\\"Would you want to see a movie with me next Saturday?\\\"\\nAlternatively, be a little playful with your ask. Try, \\\"I want to see the new Final Destination on Friday, but I'm scared to see it alone. Any chance you want to come with me?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Respond with a plan if she says yes.\", \"描述\": \"You did it! Now that she's said yes, pick a movie theater and a showtime that works for both of you. Once you've decided on a time and place, look into pre-booking seats to make sure you can sit together.\\nIf you'd like, ask if she'd like to get dinner before the movie. That way you can talk a little bit and get to know each other before it starts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid taking it personally if she says no.\", \"描述\": \"Unfortunately, rejection is a part of dating, and everyone has to deal with it at some point. Let yourself feel your feelings (it's totally normal to be a little hurt!), and try to take it as an opportunity to meet someone who's better suited for you. End the conversation on a high note by respecting her wishes and responding with a brief and polite message.\\nText her something like, \\\"I totally understand. Thank you for letting me know!\\\"\\nLook at the experience as practice for asking people out. What you did took guts, so congratulate yourself for your courage!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Pick a movie that she wants to see.\", \"描述\": \"Text her and ask what kind of movies she enjoys. If she's open to anything or doesn't have a suggestion, look up a few movies and offer some choices. Pick a variety of films to choose from, like a horror movie, a comedy, and an action film.\\nChoosing a movie that you both will enjoy ups the chances of having a great date.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Order yummy snacks at the movies.\", \"描述\": \"To make the experience more fun, go all out with snacks and drinks. Order some popcorn, a soda, and plenty of candy. If you're not a fan of the selection at the theater or the prices are expensive, consider going to a convenience store and sneaking in snacks with your date. This can make the date feel a little more spontaneous and exciting.\\nSneak in snacks at your own risk. Most movie theaters don't technically allow this.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be affectionate with your date during the movie.\", \"描述\": \"If you both feel comfortable, try holding her hand, putting your arm around her, or even kissing her on the cheek. To determine if she's comfortable, start slow. Lean towards her and whisper in her ear during the movie. If she smiles and leans in to listen, that's a good sign that she may respond well to more affectionate gestures.\\nOnly do things that you're both comfortable with. If your date doesn't want to talk or get close during the movie, she may just be shy or super into the film.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Following Up Afterwards\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let her know that you had a great time.\", \"描述\": \"If you really enjoyed her company, tell her! Don't worry about texting her too soon. Text her when you get home or wait until the next day to share how much fun you had.\\nSend a brief message like, \\\"Hey hope you got home safe! I had a great time tonight\\\" or \\\"Last night was so fun! Thanks again for a great Saturday.\\\"\\nSend her 1 message to start things off. Though you may be tempted to send her a bunch of texts about how cool she is, take it slow to avoid texting too much too soon.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk to her about the movie and ask her what she thought.\", \"描述\": \"Keep the conversation going by referencing a particularly funny part of the film. If it was a scary movie, make a joke about that jump scare that both caught you off guard!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her for a second date if it went well.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be shy if you had a really great time. There's a huge chance she did, too. Let her know you enjoy spending time with her and suggest another activity for a second date.\\nThink of a different activity than watching a movie so that you can both learn new things about each other. Try going mini-golfing, getting lunch at a hip restaurant, or walking a trail at a local park.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,568 | How to Ask a Guy Out | 1. Preparing to Ask a Guy Out
1-1. Ask yourself:
The worst thing that can happen would be that he will respectfully say "no" if he is a decent person. Keep this in mind and then prepare yourself to ask him out. Remember this will help you endure the pain in case this happens.
1-2. Find the right place and time to ask him out.
Make the opportunity to ask him in a casual, low-pressure setting. It might be in the hallway, at the water fountain, on a sports field after practice, or wherever else you usually see him. Pick an isolated place, as well as a time when he is likely to be relaxed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you choose the right time and place:
Get a little privacy. You do not have to be completely alone, but you will both probably be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space. People may not respond honestly when their friends are hanging around and they feel pressured, so some privacy can help you get a real answer.
Do not make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you're both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, "Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?" and walk a few paces away.
Do not give off creepy vibes. Things like silently standing in front of his locker every morning, calling him then hanging up over and over, or constantly asking other people about him may come off as creepy--and something a stalker may do.
Give your crush some space. Do not follow him around in real life or on-line. A little recon is fine, but following his every move gets into an unhealthy obsession.
Pick a time and place that makes sense. Asking him out after drama rehearsal may be perfect, a 1:30 a.m. text may not be.
1-3. Have a date in mind.
If it's your first time asking this guy out, you'll be a lot more confident if you invite him to a specific activity. It spares you the stress of coming up with something to do while you're on the actual date, and won't leave you saying "Uhhh... I don't know" when he asks what the plan is. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Don't think too hard about negative thoughts like 'he will laugh at me', 'he will reject me', 'he will friend-zone me' etc. Remember that guys feel and think the same way when they approach a girl which is the main reason why so many guys exist in the so-called 'friend-zone'. The truth is you will find out only after asking, muster up some courage, ask him out. You can do it! You may be surprised to find how they would react as most guys are quite easy to talk to as compared to girls.
Plan a classic date. There are some tried-and-true activities to do together for dates:
Dinner: at a restaurant, or at home with takeout, or something you made.
Activity: seeing a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, comic book convention, a hike, a baseball game or another interest you two have in common.
Pick something that specifically appeals to your target date. Sometimes you may not sure if you share common interests, or you are not sure if you like something he likes. Find out what he enjoys, and give it a try. Very often this is a great way to show you are really interested in finding out more about what he likes, and willing to try something new for his sake!
1-4. Take a shower.
Be sure that your entire head is completely wet and your body is covered in water. Massage shampoo and conditioner into your hair and then rinse with warm water, thoroughly rinse all of the shampoo and conditioner out of your hair. Make sure that there is none left so your hair won't have soap in it when it is dry. Put on your moisturizer, deodorant or body powder or anything else you want to put on.
1-5. Apply perfume.
When it comes to scent, less is defiantly more. Spray or dab amounts to ‘pulse points’ places where the warmth of your body will help the scent to work. To finish off spray a light spritz of perfume in the air and walk through it.
1-6. Use ice breakers.
Ice breakers are sentences you can use again and again to get a guys attention. Ask him “do you mind taking a photo of me and my friends?” or “I was thinking about reading that book, is it any good?” If a guy asks you a question, try keeping your answers four lines long.
1-7. Make the first move.
Touch his shoulder lightly when speaking to him, hug him or gently bump into him when walking past. Don’t wait for him to make the first move because he might take forever.
1-8. Ask him.
Now you have to tell him you like him, just kind of explain your feelings and let him know that you don’t want this to feel awkward. You could ask him out by text or Facebook or just face to face.
1-9. Allow for the possibility of rejection.
If he said no then get over it quickly, maybe things will work out later on. Not everyone’s going to except you, so don’t think you’re ugly or just not good enough because he doesn’t want you. There are plenty fish in the sea. How I got over rejection is just realising, just because this guy doesn’t like me doesn’t mean someone else won’t. You should actually feel proud because it takes courage to actually tell someone you like them.
If he said yes… congratulations! Having a boyfriend is great but remember if a guy ever puts you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, get out of this relationship.
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1-10. Be understanding.
Guys love girls who understand. If it's a no then try to become good friends and hang out. You don't want your friendship to become awkward just because you asked him out, get back to normal quickly. If he did say no, then take a break from him for a couple days and then start hanging around with him and his buddies, make it look like it was miss understanding.
1-11. Have an exit strategy.
Though you should focus on the best case scenario (a resounding yes!) instead of the worst, you do need to be aware that there's a teeny-tiny chance that the guy won't say yes. Maybe he likes someone else, or maybe he was startled and only thought of you as a friend -- either way, you'll get through it. But if you want to make the most of the situation and not lose your cool, you should come up with a Plan B in case things don't go as planned.
Come up with a reason to leave in advance. Whether it's saying that you have to study for a test, get to your next class, or that you're late to meet up with a friend, it'll sound better if you've prepared it.
Come up with something else to ask in case you can tell he's not feeling it. If you approach him and he's clearly not in the mood to get asked out, think of something else you can ask him so it doesn't look weird that you came up to him -- ask for the math homework or if he knows when the home baseball team is playing that day.
2. Other Strategies for Asking a Guy Out
2-1. Use the "extra ticket" trick.
Buy two tickets to see a movie, a concert, a stand-up comedian, or anything that you think will interest the guy. Then, when you start talking to the guy, casually mention the event and add, "Ugh, my friend completely bailed on me..." if the guy doesn't take the bait and ask to come, just say, "Is there any chance you'd like to go? I've been dying to see this show, and I think it'll be fun." Make it sound very casual, like you thought of it on the spot.
This is a perfect low-pressure way to ask a guy out.
However, be careful. If you are too vague on your intentions, your guy might think he is going as a friend, not as a date.
2-2. Ask him out on a group date.
Going on a group date is another low-pressure way to see if there are any sparks between you two. If you and your guy are hanging out with a group of couples, or even just a group of friends, then it'll feel less like a date and more like hanging out. Just tell the guy that you and a bunch of friends are going bowling, to the movies, to dinner, or whatever, and ask if he'd like to come along.
A group date can help him know that you'll be asking him out but neither of you will feel the same pressure you'd feel if you were going at it alone.
If the group date goes well, then hopefully that will lead to a regular date.
Try not to be too vague on your intentions. A group date may be indistinguishable from a group of mixed-gender friends hanging out. Your date may not know he is on a date and leads to awkward situations.
2-3. Ask him out to a guy-friendly activity.
Pick something that the guy you have in mind and his friends like to do, as long as it sounds fun to you, and ask the guy to join you. (Rather than something women tend to enjoy more, like going to get nails done!)
Find out what he likes to do first. Although there are activities that typically appeal to men more than women, you might be surprised.
If going to the movies, try to pick a movie that has broad appeal. An action blockbuster movie might be a fun one for you both.
Be sure you enjoy the activity, too. You do not want to end up always going to the local go-cart place because your guy thinks you like go-carts, but really you do not.
2-4. Ask him out to a movie or concert.
This is a slight variation on the "extra ticket" strategy. With this strategy, you should first strike up a casual conversation with the guy. Then, mention a new movie that's playing or a concert that's coming to town, trying to make sure that it appeals to him. Wait for him to say how much he likes this concert or band, and if he really doesn't get the message, then say, "I've really wanted to see that movie too. Want to go check it out over the weekend?"
If you really want to act casual about it, you can add, "I can't think of anyone else who wants to go with me" or "none of my friends like that band..."
2-5. Ask him out through a note.
Put a note in the guy's locker, textbook, bag, or even sneak a note into his guitar case or another item that is important to him. Simply say, "Want to go out sometime?" and leave him your phone number. This works great with guys that you don't know very well, and it takes the pressure off. Not only is this an effective method, but it'll make the guy think that you're cute and a little bit creative.
If you really want to be romantic about it, you can even ask him out through a letter, as long as it doesn't freak him out.
2-6. Ask him out over the phone.
If you really want to ask the guy out but are afraid to do it in person, just call him up and ask if he wants to go out that weekend. You can even call him with a close girlfriend or two standing by for moral support -- as long as they don't shriek or ruin the call, having them there will help you relax and gain confidence. And if he says no, all you have to do is say goodbye and hang up.
2-7. Let him know face to face how you really feel.
Don't be nervous -- just make a bit of small talk first and then transition into your question.
When you go up to talk to him make sure your friends are in sight so that they can help you.
Tell him all the reasons why you like him and then tell him you like him because it will give him a confidence boost and your chances of getting rejected will be a little slimmer.
It's best if you ask him if he's free on a specific day and tell him your plans and if he likes them there's a chance he'll say yes.
Let him know that if the date doesn't work out you'll still be willing to be his friend and if it does then you can go on a second date. He wants to know you won't be so mad. Say something like "hey you know you're smart, kind, funny, etc. and you know I like you. Maybe if you're free on Friday night we could go out to dinner and watch a movie. We could go alone or with some friends and if it doesn't work out I won't be mad we could stay friends." Something like that so that he is willing to say yes or just say everything and change the friends part. Like if he says yes say "okay, well is it alright if some friends come or just you and me" that way he knows you care about his opinion.
Another way to do it is say "Hey, me and my friend were supposed to go out to dinner and she invited her boyfriend. Maybe you could come with me and be my date because I like you. You're smart, funny, and super nice. What do you say? You know if you're free on Friday night?" Then, wait for his answer.
Tips
Ask him calmly, otherwise he may get stressed or agitated.
Be friends first, and then when it's the right time, tell him how you feel about him and that you care about him.
Try to ask him alone. If he is with his friends, he'll try to act cool and most likely say no.
Warnings
Even if you have asked a guy out, it does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don't want to on the date. If you ever feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation right away and don't worry about politeness, just worry about your safety.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Ask a Guy Out\\n1-1. Ask yourself:\\nThe worst thing that can happen would be that he will respectfully say \\\"no\\\" if he is a decent person. Keep this in mind and then prepare yourself to ask him out. Remember this will help you endure the pain in case this happens.\\n1-2. Find the right place and time to ask him out.\\nMake the opportunity to ask him in a casual, low-pressure setting. It might be in the hallway, at the water fountain, on a sports field after practice, or wherever else you usually see him. Pick an isolated place, as well as a time when he is likely to be relaxed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you choose the right time and place:\\nGet a little privacy. You do not have to be completely alone, but you will both probably be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space. People may not respond honestly when their friends are hanging around and they feel pressured, so some privacy can help you get a real answer.\\nDo not make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you're both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, \\\"Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?\\\" and walk a few paces away.\\nDo not give off creepy vibes. Things like silently standing in front of his locker every morning, calling him then hanging up over and over, or constantly asking other people about him may come off as creepy--and something a stalker may do.\\nGive your crush some space. Do not follow him around in real life or on-line. A little recon is fine, but following his every move gets into an unhealthy obsession.\\nPick a time and place that makes sense. Asking him out after drama rehearsal may be perfect, a 1:30 a.m. text may not be.\\n1-3. Have a date in mind.\\nIf it's your first time asking this guy out, you'll be a lot more confident if you invite him to a specific activity. It spares you the stress of coming up with something to do while you're on the actual date, and won't leave you saying \\\"Uhhh... I don't know\\\" when he asks what the plan is. Here are some ideas to get you started:\\nDon't think too hard about negative thoughts like 'he will laugh at me', 'he will reject me', 'he will friend-zone me' etc. Remember that guys feel and think the same way when they approach a girl which is the main reason why so many guys exist in the so-called 'friend-zone'. The truth is you will find out only after asking, muster up some courage, ask him out. You can do it! You may be surprised to find how they would react as most guys are quite easy to talk to as compared to girls.\\nPlan a classic date. There are some tried-and-true activities to do together for dates:\\nDinner: at a restaurant, or at home with takeout, or something you made.\\nActivity: seeing a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, comic book convention, a hike, a baseball game or another interest you two have in common.\\n\\nPick something that specifically appeals to your target date. Sometimes you may not sure if you share common interests, or you are not sure if you like something he likes. Find out what he enjoys, and give it a try. Very often this is a great way to show you are really interested in finding out more about what he likes, and willing to try something new for his sake!\\n1-4. Take a shower.\\nBe sure that your entire head is completely wet and your body is covered in water. Massage shampoo and conditioner into your hair and then rinse with warm water, thoroughly rinse all of the shampoo and conditioner out of your hair. Make sure that there is none left so your hair won't have soap in it when it is dry. Put on your moisturizer, deodorant or body powder or anything else you want to put on.\\n1-5. Apply perfume.\\nWhen it comes to scent, less is defiantly more. Spray or dab amounts to ‘pulse points’ places where the warmth of your body will help the scent to work. To finish off spray a light spritz of perfume in the air and walk through it.\\n1-6. Use ice breakers.\\nIce breakers are sentences you can use again and again to get a guys attention. Ask him “do you mind taking a photo of me and my friends?” or “I was thinking about reading that book, is it any good?” If a guy asks you a question, try keeping your answers four lines long.\\n1-7. Make the first move.\\nTouch his shoulder lightly when speaking to him, hug him or gently bump into him when walking past. Don’t wait for him to make the first move because he might take forever.\\n1-8. Ask him.\\nNow you have to tell him you like him, just kind of explain your feelings and let him know that you don’t want this to feel awkward. You could ask him out by text or Facebook or just face to face.\\n1-9. Allow for the possibility of rejection.\\nIf he said no then get over it quickly, maybe things will work out later on. Not everyone’s going to except you, so don’t think you’re ugly or just not good enough because he doesn’t want you. There are plenty fish in the sea. How I got over rejection is just realising, just because this guy doesn’t like me doesn’t mean someone else won’t. You should actually feel proud because it takes courage to actually tell someone you like them.\\nIf he said yes… congratulations! Having a boyfriend is great but remember if a guy ever puts you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, get out of this relationship.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/6a\\\\/Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/6a\\\\/Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\\/aid16936-v4-728px-Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":291,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":460,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\\n1-10. Be understanding.\\nGuys love girls who understand. If it's a no then try to become good friends and hang out. You don't want your friendship to become awkward just because you asked him out, get back to normal quickly. If he did say no, then take a break from him for a couple days and then start hanging around with him and his buddies, make it look like it was miss understanding.\\n1-11. Have an exit strategy.\\nThough you should focus on the best case scenario (a resounding yes!) instead of the worst, you do need to be aware that there's a teeny-tiny chance that the guy won't say yes. Maybe he likes someone else, or maybe he was startled and only thought of you as a friend -- either way, you'll get through it. But if you want to make the most of the situation and not lose your cool, you should come up with a Plan B in case things don't go as planned.\\nCome up with a reason to leave in advance. Whether it's saying that you have to study for a test, get to your next class, or that you're late to meet up with a friend, it'll sound better if you've prepared it.\\nCome up with something else to ask in case you can tell he's not feeling it. If you approach him and he's clearly not in the mood to get asked out, think of something else you can ask him so it doesn't look weird that you came up to him -- ask for the math homework or if he knows when the home baseball team is playing that day.\\n2. Other Strategies for Asking a Guy Out\\n2-1. Use the \\\"extra ticket\\\" trick.\\nBuy two tickets to see a movie, a concert, a stand-up comedian, or anything that you think will interest the guy. Then, when you start talking to the guy, casually mention the event and add, \\\"Ugh, my friend completely bailed on me...\\\" if the guy doesn't take the bait and ask to come, just say, \\\"Is there any chance you'd like to go? I've been dying to see this show, and I think it'll be fun.\\\" Make it sound very casual, like you thought of it on the spot.\\nThis is a perfect low-pressure way to ask a guy out.\\nHowever, be careful. If you are too vague on your intentions, your guy might think he is going as a friend, not as a date.\\n2-2. Ask him out on a group date.\\nGoing on a group date is another low-pressure way to see if there are any sparks between you two. If you and your guy are hanging out with a group of couples, or even just a group of friends, then it'll feel less like a date and more like hanging out. Just tell the guy that you and a bunch of friends are going bowling, to the movies, to dinner, or whatever, and ask if he'd like to come along.\\nA group date can help him know that you'll be asking him out but neither of you will feel the same pressure you'd feel if you were going at it alone.\\nIf the group date goes well, then hopefully that will lead to a regular date.\\nTry not to be too vague on your intentions. A group date may be indistinguishable from a group of mixed-gender friends hanging out. Your date may not know he is on a date and leads to awkward situations.\\n2-3. Ask him out to a guy-friendly activity.\\nPick something that the guy you have in mind and his friends like to do, as long as it sounds fun to you, and ask the guy to join you. (Rather than something women tend to enjoy more, like going to get nails done!) \\nFind out what he likes to do first. Although there are activities that typically appeal to men more than women, you might be surprised.\\nIf going to the movies, try to pick a movie that has broad appeal. An action blockbuster movie might be a fun one for you both.\\nBe sure you enjoy the activity, too. You do not want to end up always going to the local go-cart place because your guy thinks you like go-carts, but really you do not.\\n2-4. Ask him out to a movie or concert.\\nThis is a slight variation on the \\\"extra ticket\\\" strategy. With this strategy, you should first strike up a casual conversation with the guy. Then, mention a new movie that's playing or a concert that's coming to town, trying to make sure that it appeals to him. Wait for him to say how much he likes this concert or band, and if he really doesn't get the message, then say, \\\"I've really wanted to see that movie too. Want to go check it out over the weekend?\\\"\\nIf you really want to act casual about it, you can add, \\\"I can't think of anyone else who wants to go with me\\\" or \\\"none of my friends like that band...\\\"\\n2-5. Ask him out through a note.\\nPut a note in the guy's locker, textbook, bag, or even sneak a note into his guitar case or another item that is important to him. Simply say, \\\"Want to go out sometime?\\\" and leave him your phone number. This works great with guys that you don't know very well, and it takes the pressure off. Not only is this an effective method, but it'll make the guy think that you're cute and a little bit creative.\\nIf you really want to be romantic about it, you can even ask him out through a letter, as long as it doesn't freak him out.\\n2-6. Ask him out over the phone.\\nIf you really want to ask the guy out but are afraid to do it in person, just call him up and ask if he wants to go out that weekend. You can even call him with a close girlfriend or two standing by for moral support -- as long as they don't shriek or ruin the call, having them there will help you relax and gain confidence. And if he says no, all you have to do is say goodbye and hang up.\\n2-7. Let him know face to face how you really feel.\\nDon't be nervous -- just make a bit of small talk first and then transition into your question.\\nWhen you go up to talk to him make sure your friends are in sight so that they can help you.\\nTell him all the reasons why you like him and then tell him you like him because it will give him a confidence boost and your chances of getting rejected will be a little slimmer.\\nIt's best if you ask him if he's free on a specific day and tell him your plans and if he likes them there's a chance he'll say yes.\\nLet him know that if the date doesn't work out you'll still be willing to be his friend and if it does then you can go on a second date. He wants to know you won't be so mad. Say something like \\\"hey you know you're smart, kind, funny, etc. and you know I like you. Maybe if you're free on Friday night we could go out to dinner and watch a movie. We could go alone or with some friends and if it doesn't work out I won't be mad we could stay friends.\\\" Something like that so that he is willing to say yes or just say everything and change the friends part. Like if he says yes say \\\"okay, well is it alright if some friends come or just you and me\\\" that way he knows you care about his opinion.\\nAnother way to do it is say \\\"Hey, me and my friend were supposed to go out to dinner and she invited her boyfriend. Maybe you could come with me and be my date because I like you. You're smart, funny, and super nice. What do you say? You know if you're free on Friday night?\\\" Then, wait for his answer.\\nTips\\nAsk him calmly, otherwise he may get stressed or agitated.\\nBe friends first, and then when it's the right time, tell him how you feel about him and that you care about him.\\nTry to ask him alone. If he is with his friends, he'll try to act cool and most likely say no.\\nWarnings\\nEven if you have asked a guy out, it does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don't want to on the date. If you ever feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation right away and don't worry about politeness, just worry about your safety.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Once upon a time, only boys could ask out girls. But we're living in a time that doesn't require a girl to just sit around waiting for the guy to ask her out. If you want to ask a guy out, then all you have to do is prepare in advance, exude confidence, and react appropriately.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask a Guy Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask yourself:\", \"描述\": \"The worst thing that can happen would be that he will respectfully say \\\"no\\\" if he is a decent person. Keep this in mind and then prepare yourself to ask him out. Remember this will help you endure the pain in case this happens.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find the right place and time to ask him out.\", \"描述\": \"Make the opportunity to ask him in a casual, low-pressure setting. It might be in the hallway, at the water fountain, on a sports field after practice, or wherever else you usually see him. Pick an isolated place, as well as a time when he is likely to be relaxed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you choose the right time and place:\\nGet a little privacy. You do not have to be completely alone, but you will both probably be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space. People may not respond honestly when their friends are hanging around and they feel pressured, so some privacy can help you get a real answer.\\nDo not make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you're both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, \\\"Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?\\\" and walk a few paces away.\\nDo not give off creepy vibes. Things like silently standing in front of his locker every morning, calling him then hanging up over and over, or constantly asking other people about him may come off as creepy--and something a stalker may do.\\nGive your crush some space. Do not follow him around in real life or on-line. A little recon is fine, but following his every move gets into an unhealthy obsession.\\nPick a time and place that makes sense. Asking him out after drama rehearsal may be perfect, a 1:30 a.m. text may not be.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a date in mind.\", \"描述\": \"If it's your first time asking this guy out, you'll be a lot more confident if you invite him to a specific activity. It spares you the stress of coming up with something to do while you're on the actual date, and won't leave you saying \\\"Uhhh... I don't know\\\" when he asks what the plan is. Here are some ideas to get you started:\\nDon't think too hard about negative thoughts like 'he will laugh at me', 'he will reject me', 'he will friend-zone me' etc. Remember that guys feel and think the same way when they approach a girl which is the main reason why so many guys exist in the so-called 'friend-zone'. The truth is you will find out only after asking, muster up some courage, ask him out. You can do it! You may be surprised to find how they would react as most guys are quite easy to talk to as compared to girls.\\nPlan a classic date. There are some tried-and-true activities to do together for dates:\\nDinner: at a restaurant, or at home with takeout, or something you made.\\nActivity: seeing a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, comic book convention, a hike, a baseball game or another interest you two have in common.\\n\\nPick something that specifically appeals to your target date. Sometimes you may not sure if you share common interests, or you are not sure if you like something he likes. Find out what he enjoys, and give it a try. Very often this is a great way to show you are really interested in finding out more about what he likes, and willing to try something new for his sake!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take a shower.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure that your entire head is completely wet and your body is covered in water. Massage shampoo and conditioner into your hair and then rinse with warm water, thoroughly rinse all of the shampoo and conditioner out of your hair. Make sure that there is none left so your hair won't have soap in it when it is dry. Put on your moisturizer, deodorant or body powder or anything else you want to put on.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Apply perfume.\", \"描述\": \"When it comes to scent, less is defiantly more. Spray or dab amounts to ‘pulse points’ places where the warmth of your body will help the scent to work. To finish off spray a light spritz of perfume in the air and walk through it.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Use ice breakers.\", \"描述\": \"Ice breakers are sentences you can use again and again to get a guys attention. Ask him “do you mind taking a photo of me and my friends?” or “I was thinking about reading that book, is it any good?” If a guy asks you a question, try keeping your answers four lines long.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Make the first move.\", \"描述\": \"Touch his shoulder lightly when speaking to him, hug him or gently bump into him when walking past. Don’t wait for him to make the first move because he might take forever.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Ask him.\", \"描述\": \"Now you have to tell him you like him, just kind of explain your feelings and let him know that you don’t want this to feel awkward. You could ask him out by text or Facebook or just face to face.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Allow for the possibility of rejection.\", \"描述\": \"If he said no then get over it quickly, maybe things will work out later on. Not everyone’s going to except you, so don’t think you’re ugly or just not good enough because he doesn’t want you. There are plenty fish in the sea. How I got over rejection is just realising, just because this guy doesn’t like me doesn’t mean someone else won’t. You should actually feel proud because it takes courage to actually tell someone you like them.\\nIf he said yes… congratulations! Having a boyfriend is great but remember if a guy ever puts you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, get out of this relationship.\\n\\n{\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/6a\\\\/Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\\/v4-460px-Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/6\\\\/6a\\\\/Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\\/aid16936-v4-728px-Finally-Ask-a-Guy-Out-Step-7.jpg\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":291,\\\"bigWidth\\\":728,\\\"bigHeight\\\":460,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/creativecommons.org\\\\/licenses\\\\/by-nc-sa\\\\/3.0\\\\/\\\\\\\">Creative Commons<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><p><br \\\\/>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"}\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Be understanding.\", \"描述\": \"Guys love girls who understand. If it's a no then try to become good friends and hang out. You don't want your friendship to become awkward just because you asked him out, get back to normal quickly. If he did say no, then take a break from him for a couple days and then start hanging around with him and his buddies, make it look like it was miss understanding.\"}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Have an exit strategy.\", \"描述\": \"Though you should focus on the best case scenario (a resounding yes!) instead of the worst, you do need to be aware that there's a teeny-tiny chance that the guy won't say yes. Maybe he likes someone else, or maybe he was startled and only thought of you as a friend -- either way, you'll get through it. But if you want to make the most of the situation and not lose your cool, you should come up with a Plan B in case things don't go as planned.\\nCome up with a reason to leave in advance. Whether it's saying that you have to study for a test, get to your next class, or that you're late to meet up with a friend, it'll sound better if you've prepared it.\\nCome up with something else to ask in case you can tell he's not feeling it. If you approach him and he's clearly not in the mood to get asked out, think of something else you can ask him so it doesn't look weird that you came up to him -- ask for the math homework or if he knows when the home baseball team is playing that day.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Other Strategies for Asking a Guy Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use the \\\"extra ticket\\\" trick.\", \"描述\": \"Buy two tickets to see a movie, a concert, a stand-up comedian, or anything that you think will interest the guy. Then, when you start talking to the guy, casually mention the event and add, \\\"Ugh, my friend completely bailed on me...\\\" if the guy doesn't take the bait and ask to come, just say, \\\"Is there any chance you'd like to go? I've been dying to see this show, and I think it'll be fun.\\\" Make it sound very casual, like you thought of it on the spot.\\nThis is a perfect low-pressure way to ask a guy out.\\nHowever, be careful. If you are too vague on your intentions, your guy might think he is going as a friend, not as a date.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask him out on a group date.\", \"描述\": \"Going on a group date is another low-pressure way to see if there are any sparks between you two. If you and your guy are hanging out with a group of couples, or even just a group of friends, then it'll feel less like a date and more like hanging out. Just tell the guy that you and a bunch of friends are going bowling, to the movies, to dinner, or whatever, and ask if he'd like to come along.\\nA group date can help him know that you'll be asking him out but neither of you will feel the same pressure you'd feel if you were going at it alone.\\nIf the group date goes well, then hopefully that will lead to a regular date.\\nTry not to be too vague on your intentions. A group date may be indistinguishable from a group of mixed-gender friends hanging out. Your date may not know he is on a date and leads to awkward situations.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask him out to a guy-friendly activity.\", \"描述\": \"Pick something that the guy you have in mind and his friends like to do, as long as it sounds fun to you, and ask the guy to join you. (Rather than something women tend to enjoy more, like going to get nails done!) \\nFind out what he likes to do first. Although there are activities that typically appeal to men more than women, you might be surprised.\\nIf going to the movies, try to pick a movie that has broad appeal. An action blockbuster movie might be a fun one for you both.\\nBe sure you enjoy the activity, too. You do not want to end up always going to the local go-cart place because your guy thinks you like go-carts, but really you do not.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask him out to a movie or concert.\", \"描述\": \"This is a slight variation on the \\\"extra ticket\\\" strategy. With this strategy, you should first strike up a casual conversation with the guy. Then, mention a new movie that's playing or a concert that's coming to town, trying to make sure that it appeals to him. Wait for him to say how much he likes this concert or band, and if he really doesn't get the message, then say, \\\"I've really wanted to see that movie too. Want to go check it out over the weekend?\\\"\\nIf you really want to act casual about it, you can add, \\\"I can't think of anyone else who wants to go with me\\\" or \\\"none of my friends like that band...\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask him out through a note.\", \"描述\": \"Put a note in the guy's locker, textbook, bag, or even sneak a note into his guitar case or another item that is important to him. Simply say, \\\"Want to go out sometime?\\\" and leave him your phone number. This works great with guys that you don't know very well, and it takes the pressure off. Not only is this an effective method, but it'll make the guy think that you're cute and a little bit creative.\\nIf you really want to be romantic about it, you can even ask him out through a letter, as long as it doesn't freak him out.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask him out over the phone.\", \"描述\": \"If you really want to ask the guy out but are afraid to do it in person, just call him up and ask if he wants to go out that weekend. You can even call him with a close girlfriend or two standing by for moral support -- as long as they don't shriek or ruin the call, having them there will help you relax and gain confidence. And if he says no, all you have to do is say goodbye and hang up.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Let him know face to face how you really feel.\", \"描述\": \"Don't be nervous -- just make a bit of small talk first and then transition into your question.\\nWhen you go up to talk to him make sure your friends are in sight so that they can help you.\\nTell him all the reasons why you like him and then tell him you like him because it will give him a confidence boost and your chances of getting rejected will be a little slimmer.\\nIt's best if you ask him if he's free on a specific day and tell him your plans and if he likes them there's a chance he'll say yes.\\nLet him know that if the date doesn't work out you'll still be willing to be his friend and if it does then you can go on a second date. He wants to know you won't be so mad. Say something like \\\"hey you know you're smart, kind, funny, etc. and you know I like you. Maybe if you're free on Friday night we could go out to dinner and watch a movie. We could go alone or with some friends and if it doesn't work out I won't be mad we could stay friends.\\\" Something like that so that he is willing to say yes or just say everything and change the friends part. Like if he says yes say \\\"okay, well is it alright if some friends come or just you and me\\\" that way he knows you care about his opinion.\\nAnother way to do it is say \\\"Hey, me and my friend were supposed to go out to dinner and she invited her boyfriend. Maybe you could come with me and be my date because I like you. You're smart, funny, and super nice. What do you say? You know if you're free on Friday night?\\\" Then, wait for his answer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Ask him calmly, otherwise he may get stressed or agitated.\\n\", \"Be friends first, and then when it's the right time, tell him how you feel about him and that you care about him.\\n\", \"Try to ask him alone. If he is with his friends, he'll try to act cool and most likely say no.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Even if you have asked a guy out, it does not mean you are obligated to do anything you don't want to on the date. If you ever feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation right away and don't worry about politeness, just worry about your safety.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,569 | How to Ask a Guy Out When You're Scared | 1. Overcoming Your Fear and Asking
1-1. Asking them via phone or email.
If you are too afraid to ask your crush out in person, then you can do so electronically. If you have their number, call or text them and see if they’d like to go out. You can even DM or email them if you have his email address or social media information.
You can say something like “Hey Trevor, how are you? I was wondering if you would like to go out with me on Saturday night?”
If you are nervous about his response, go and do something else like watch a show for 30 minutes or so to calm down, and then check your phone.
1-2. Practice in the mirror.
If you prefer not to ask via text, practice asking him out in the mirror to build your confidence up. When you do so, think about how you look and what your gestures or facial expressions are conveying. If they express nervousness, then keep practicing until they don’t.
1-3. Listen to some confidence boosting music.
Put together an empowering playlist of your favorite songs. Listen to them that morning while you’re getting dressed, in your car on the way to work or school, and whenever you have some free time during the day before you see him. This will also put you in a good mood, which will make the ask easier and more enjoyable.
2. Inviting Him Out
2-1. Suggest something low pressure.
When asking a guy out on a date, avoid asking him to do things like go to a wedding with you, doing anything that will involve your family, or sharing a major moment in your life like your birthday. Save those times for guys that you are serious about. Instead, suggest more low stakes ideas like the movies, bowling, coffee, rollerblading, a bar, or a museum.
2-2. Invite him on a group date.
If a bunch of your friends are going out on the town, to a movie, or to dinner, ask him to tag-a-long. This can potentially be low pressure as well, as both of you will have others that you can talk to through the course of the night.
If your friends have all been with their partners for a long period of time, don’t ask him to go. Being around serious couples might be a bit intense for a first date.
You can also ask him out on a group outing with friends, but be sure to pay attention to him and involve him in conversation.
2-3. Have a spare ticket.
If you have tickets to a game or concert, invite him to go with you, especially if you know he likes the team or band. Even if he doesn’t go, you can still invite a friend and have a good time.
You might say something like “Hey Ryan, I have a spare ticket to the Drake concert next weekend. Wanna go with me?”
This method will work best with those who you know already.
2-4. Invite him to do something he’s interested in.
He might say he really wants to see a movie or that he likes baseball; invite him to the movie or the batting cages. However, don’t pretend that you like it if you don’t, but do be a good sport about it.
2-5. Buy him a drink.
If you’re age 21 or over and out on the town, and see a guy you like or want to get to know, buy him a drink. You can either send it to him via the bartender and wait for him to come over, or you can approach him and ask what he’d like. Either way, this is a conversation starter.
You might say to the bartender “Hey, what’s that guy in the blue drinking? I want to send him another on my tab.”
You can approach him by saying “Hi, how are you. I was noticing you across the bar and wondering what you were drinking. Can I buy you another one?”
3. Gauging and Piquing His Interest
3-1. Initiate conversation.
The first step to gauging his interest is to simply talk to him. If you don’t feel comfortable having a full conversation with him, try just saying “hello” or “how are you” the first couple of times you speak. Each time, say more and more until you feel comfortable asking him out.
You also might chat about something you both are doing or witnessing. For example, if you’re in the same class, you might ask him what he thought of the readings or the last test you had.
3-2. Flirt.
Even if you are too nervous to out right ask this guy on a date, you can still flirt with him to see if he’s interested in you. When you see him, make eye contact for a few moments and slowly smile. If you have a chance to speak to him, put your hand on his shoulder or arm when he makes a funny joke. Compliment him and tell him how nice he looks.
3-3. Evaluate his body language.
When you are flirting with him or simply talking, notice if he leans in to you when you’re speaking or lights up when he sees you. These are signs that he might be into you. He might also smile or wink at you a lot.
The more signs that you have that he likes you, the more confident you will be to ask him out.
3-4. Drop a hint.
Say “have you heard of the new restaurant downtown that has sushi? I really want to go.” You might find that he will ask you out instead. Even if he doesn’t, if he says he’s interested in going too, you can use that as a natural way to ask him out.
3-5. Look your best.
When you know you are going to see this guy, try to look your very best. Be sure that you are showered, your hair is neat, and that you have on an outfit that fits you well. You might also consider wearing some perfume or cologne, as well.
You can also post attractive pictures on social media if he follows you.
3-6. Text him more often.
If you’re friends already, reach out to him to communicate with him more regularly. Text him occasionally throughout the week to check in, tell him a funny story, or just to see how his day is going. If he responds quickly, in multiple sentences and is flirty, he might like you. If he is short or unresponsive, it is best not to ask this guy out.
After you have been texting for a while and the conversation is going well, you can ask him if he’d like to go out sometime.
4. Handling His Response
4-1. Co-plan a fun date.
If he agrees to go on a date with you, either let him choose what you eat or what you do or give some options. This will ensure that you both have a fun time on the date. Or you might let him choose dinner and you choose the movie.
4-2. Enjoy your date.
Leave your phone in your bag or in your pocket so that you can fully focus on your date. Pay him a compliment or two while you are out. Have some fun and don’t forget to be yourself.
4-3. Accept a ‘no.
’ However, if the guy says no, that is okay, too. Don’t continue to ask him out or badger him with questions about why he won’t go. Instead say “Okay then, that’s cool” and tell him you’ll see him later.
Don’t get upset or worked up in front of him. If you feel that you might cry, go be alone in the restroom or call a friend.
4-4. Move on.
If he tells you that he doesn’t want to go out with you or that he is already dating someone, don’t fret. Take a few days to get over the rejection and then focus your sights on someone new. Or, you never know, someone might be about to ask you out as well.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Overcoming Your Fear and Asking\\n1-1. Asking them via phone or email.\\nIf you are too afraid to ask your crush out in person, then you can do so electronically. If you have their number, call or text them and see if they’d like to go out. You can even DM or email them if you have his email address or social media information.\\nYou can say something like “Hey Trevor, how are you? I was wondering if you would like to go out with me on Saturday night?”\\nIf you are nervous about his response, go and do something else like watch a show for 30 minutes or so to calm down, and then check your phone.\\n1-2. Practice in the mirror.\\nIf you prefer not to ask via text, practice asking him out in the mirror to build your confidence up. When you do so, think about how you look and what your gestures or facial expressions are conveying. If they express nervousness, then keep practicing until they don’t.\\n1-3. Listen to some confidence boosting music.\\nPut together an empowering playlist of your favorite songs. Listen to them that morning while you’re getting dressed, in your car on the way to work or school, and whenever you have some free time during the day before you see him. This will also put you in a good mood, which will make the ask easier and more enjoyable.\\n2. Inviting Him Out\\n2-1. Suggest something low pressure.\\nWhen asking a guy out on a date, avoid asking him to do things like go to a wedding with you, doing anything that will involve your family, or sharing a major moment in your life like your birthday. Save those times for guys that you are serious about. Instead, suggest more low stakes ideas like the movies, bowling, coffee, rollerblading, a bar, or a museum.\\n2-2. Invite him on a group date.\\nIf a bunch of your friends are going out on the town, to a movie, or to dinner, ask him to tag-a-long. This can potentially be low pressure as well, as both of you will have others that you can talk to through the course of the night.\\nIf your friends have all been with their partners for a long period of time, don’t ask him to go. Being around serious couples might be a bit intense for a first date.\\nYou can also ask him out on a group outing with friends, but be sure to pay attention to him and involve him in conversation.\\n2-3. Have a spare ticket.\\nIf you have tickets to a game or concert, invite him to go with you, especially if you know he likes the team or band. Even if he doesn’t go, you can still invite a friend and have a good time.\\nYou might say something like “Hey Ryan, I have a spare ticket to the Drake concert next weekend. Wanna go with me?”\\nThis method will work best with those who you know already.\\n2-4. Invite him to do something he’s interested in.\\nHe might say he really wants to see a movie or that he likes baseball; invite him to the movie or the batting cages. However, don’t pretend that you like it if you don’t, but do be a good sport about it.\\n2-5. Buy him a drink.\\nIf you’re age 21 or over and out on the town, and see a guy you like or want to get to know, buy him a drink. You can either send it to him via the bartender and wait for him to come over, or you can approach him and ask what he’d like. Either way, this is a conversation starter.\\nYou might say to the bartender “Hey, what’s that guy in the blue drinking? I want to send him another on my tab.”\\nYou can approach him by saying “Hi, how are you. I was noticing you across the bar and wondering what you were drinking. Can I buy you another one?”\\n3. Gauging and Piquing His Interest\\n3-1. Initiate conversation.\\nThe first step to gauging his interest is to simply talk to him. If you don’t feel comfortable having a full conversation with him, try just saying “hello” or “how are you” the first couple of times you speak. Each time, say more and more until you feel comfortable asking him out.\\nYou also might chat about something you both are doing or witnessing. For example, if you’re in the same class, you might ask him what he thought of the readings or the last test you had.\\n3-2. Flirt.\\nEven if you are too nervous to out right ask this guy on a date, you can still flirt with him to see if he’s interested in you. When you see him, make eye contact for a few moments and slowly smile. If you have a chance to speak to him, put your hand on his shoulder or arm when he makes a funny joke. Compliment him and tell him how nice he looks.\\n3-3. Evaluate his body language.\\nWhen you are flirting with him or simply talking, notice if he leans in to you when you’re speaking or lights up when he sees you. These are signs that he might be into you. He might also smile or wink at you a lot.\\nThe more signs that you have that he likes you, the more confident you will be to ask him out.\\n3-4. Drop a hint.\\nSay “have you heard of the new restaurant downtown that has sushi? I really want to go.” You might find that he will ask you out instead. Even if he doesn’t, if he says he’s interested in going too, you can use that as a natural way to ask him out.\\n3-5. Look your best.\\nWhen you know you are going to see this guy, try to look your very best. Be sure that you are showered, your hair is neat, and that you have on an outfit that fits you well. You might also consider wearing some perfume or cologne, as well.\\nYou can also post attractive pictures on social media if he follows you.\\n3-6. Text him more often.\\nIf you’re friends already, reach out to him to communicate with him more regularly. Text him occasionally throughout the week to check in, tell him a funny story, or just to see how his day is going. If he responds quickly, in multiple sentences and is flirty, he might like you. If he is short or unresponsive, it is best not to ask this guy out.\\nAfter you have been texting for a while and the conversation is going well, you can ask him if he’d like to go out sometime.\\n4. Handling His Response\\n4-1. Co-plan a fun date.\\nIf he agrees to go on a date with you, either let him choose what you eat or what you do or give some options. This will ensure that you both have a fun time on the date. Or you might let him choose dinner and you choose the movie.\\n4-2. Enjoy your date.\\nLeave your phone in your bag or in your pocket so that you can fully focus on your date. Pay him a compliment or two while you are out. Have some fun and don’t forget to be yourself.\\n4-3. Accept a ‘no.\\n’ However, if the guy says no, that is okay, too. Don’t continue to ask him out or badger him with questions about why he won’t go. Instead say “Okay then, that’s cool” and tell him you’ll see him later.\\nDon’t get upset or worked up in front of him. If you feel that you might cry, go be alone in the restroom or call a friend.\\n4-4. Move on.\\nIf he tells you that he doesn’t want to go out with you or that he is already dating someone, don’t fret. Take a few days to get over the rejection and then focus your sights on someone new. Or, you never know, someone might be about to ask you out as well.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you really like a guy, you might feel nervous around him. You might feel even more nervous about the idea of asking him out. However, you never know what you might be missing out on if you don’t put yourself out there. You can ask a guy out even if you’re scared by working on your fears, inviting him out, gauging his interest in you, and then accepting his response.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Overcoming Your Fear and Asking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking them via phone or email.\", \"描述\": \"If you are too afraid to ask your crush out in person, then you can do so electronically. If you have their number, call or text them and see if they’d like to go out. You can even DM or email them if you have his email address or social media information.\\nYou can say something like “Hey Trevor, how are you? I was wondering if you would like to go out with me on Saturday night?”\\nIf you are nervous about his response, go and do something else like watch a show for 30 minutes or so to calm down, and then check your phone.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice in the mirror.\", \"描述\": \"If you prefer not to ask via text, practice asking him out in the mirror to build your confidence up. When you do so, think about how you look and what your gestures or facial expressions are conveying. If they express nervousness, then keep practicing until they don’t.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Listen to some confidence boosting music.\", \"描述\": \"Put together an empowering playlist of your favorite songs. Listen to them that morning while you’re getting dressed, in your car on the way to work or school, and whenever you have some free time during the day before you see him. This will also put you in a good mood, which will make the ask easier and more enjoyable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Inviting Him Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suggest something low pressure.\", \"描述\": \"When asking a guy out on a date, avoid asking him to do things like go to a wedding with you, doing anything that will involve your family, or sharing a major moment in your life like your birthday. Save those times for guys that you are serious about. Instead, suggest more low stakes ideas like the movies, bowling, coffee, rollerblading, a bar, or a museum.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invite him on a group date.\", \"描述\": \"If a bunch of your friends are going out on the town, to a movie, or to dinner, ask him to tag-a-long. This can potentially be low pressure as well, as both of you will have others that you can talk to through the course of the night.\\nIf your friends have all been with their partners for a long period of time, don’t ask him to go. Being around serious couples might be a bit intense for a first date.\\nYou can also ask him out on a group outing with friends, but be sure to pay attention to him and involve him in conversation.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Have a spare ticket.\", \"描述\": \"If you have tickets to a game or concert, invite him to go with you, especially if you know he likes the team or band. Even if he doesn’t go, you can still invite a friend and have a good time.\\nYou might say something like “Hey Ryan, I have a spare ticket to the Drake concert next weekend. Wanna go with me?”\\nThis method will work best with those who you know already.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Invite him to do something he’s interested in.\", \"描述\": \"He might say he really wants to see a movie or that he likes baseball; invite him to the movie or the batting cages. However, don’t pretend that you like it if you don’t, but do be a good sport about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Buy him a drink.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re age 21 or over and out on the town, and see a guy you like or want to get to know, buy him a drink. You can either send it to him via the bartender and wait for him to come over, or you can approach him and ask what he’d like. Either way, this is a conversation starter.\\nYou might say to the bartender “Hey, what’s that guy in the blue drinking? I want to send him another on my tab.”\\nYou can approach him by saying “Hi, how are you. I was noticing you across the bar and wondering what you were drinking. Can I buy you another one?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gauging and Piquing His Interest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Initiate conversation.\", \"描述\": \"The first step to gauging his interest is to simply talk to him. If you don’t feel comfortable having a full conversation with him, try just saying “hello” or “how are you” the first couple of times you speak. Each time, say more and more until you feel comfortable asking him out.\\nYou also might chat about something you both are doing or witnessing. For example, if you’re in the same class, you might ask him what he thought of the readings or the last test you had.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirt.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are too nervous to out right ask this guy on a date, you can still flirt with him to see if he’s interested in you. When you see him, make eye contact for a few moments and slowly smile. If you have a chance to speak to him, put your hand on his shoulder or arm when he makes a funny joke. Compliment him and tell him how nice he looks.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Evaluate his body language.\", \"描述\": \"When you are flirting with him or simply talking, notice if he leans in to you when you’re speaking or lights up when he sees you. These are signs that he might be into you. He might also smile or wink at you a lot.\\nThe more signs that you have that he likes you, the more confident you will be to ask him out.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Drop a hint.\", \"描述\": \"Say “have you heard of the new restaurant downtown that has sushi? I really want to go.” You might find that he will ask you out instead. Even if he doesn’t, if he says he’s interested in going too, you can use that as a natural way to ask him out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Look your best.\", \"描述\": \"When you know you are going to see this guy, try to look your very best. Be sure that you are showered, your hair is neat, and that you have on an outfit that fits you well. You might also consider wearing some perfume or cologne, as well.\\nYou can also post attractive pictures on social media if he follows you.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Text him more often.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re friends already, reach out to him to communicate with him more regularly. Text him occasionally throughout the week to check in, tell him a funny story, or just to see how his day is going. If he responds quickly, in multiple sentences and is flirty, he might like you. If he is short or unresponsive, it is best not to ask this guy out.\\nAfter you have been texting for a while and the conversation is going well, you can ask him if he’d like to go out sometime.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Handling His Response\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Co-plan a fun date.\", \"描述\": \"If he agrees to go on a date with you, either let him choose what you eat or what you do or give some options. This will ensure that you both have a fun time on the date. Or you might let him choose dinner and you choose the movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Enjoy your date.\", \"描述\": \"Leave your phone in your bag or in your pocket so that you can fully focus on your date. Pay him a compliment or two while you are out. Have some fun and don’t forget to be yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept a ‘no.\", \"描述\": \"’ However, if the guy says no, that is okay, too. Don’t continue to ask him out or badger him with questions about why he won’t go. Instead say “Okay then, that’s cool” and tell him you’ll see him later.\\nDon’t get upset or worked up in front of him. If you feel that you might cry, go be alone in the restroom or call a friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Move on.\", \"描述\": \"If he tells you that he doesn’t want to go out with you or that he is already dating someone, don’t fret. Take a few days to get over the rejection and then focus your sights on someone new. Or, you never know, someone might be about to ask you out as well.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,570 | How to Ask a Guy Out over Text | 1. Starting the Conversation
1-1. Send a greeting text.
Try breaking the ice before you ask him out. Send him a simple greeting to get the conversation started. If you haven't talked to him before, remind him who you are and how you met. Say you've been excited to talk to him again. If you have talked before, just greet him the same way you would any other time.
People can't always respond to texts right away, so if your first text is you asking him out, you'll start to freak out if he doesn't respond quickly. Talking for a while first helps ensure that he is paying attention to his phone.
If you have him talking already, there's a better chance that he'll respond positively to you asking him out. If you ask him out without any warning, he might be caught off guard and say no.
For example, text him, “Hey Josh, this is Pete. That party was crazy last weekend. I'm glad we got to meet.” It's simple, but way more effective than texting, “Hey, what's up?”
1-2. Pay attention to his interest in the conversation.
Text back and forth with him for a while to see how the conversation goes. If he constantly gives short answers or takes a long time in between, he may not be interested in you. You don't want to go straight to asking him out without having an idea whether or not he will say yes.
Find the balance between asking him out immediately and waiting so long that the conversation dwindles. If he responds well to four or five texts back and forth, take it as a good sign to go ahead and ask him.
Even if he doesn't seem that interested, it's okay to be bold and ask him out anyway. Just be prepared for a possible rejection.
1-3. Flirt and see how he responds.
As you are texting, begin to send messages that are a bit flirtier than standard conversation. If he responds by flirting back, it's a good sign that he may be interested in going out. If he seems to ignore your flirting or responds negatively, avoid asking him out.
For example, text him, “It's a bummer that I'm sitting at home alone. I'd much rather be snuggled up next to you.” If he says, “We could make that happen,” he probably likes you.
1-4. Ask him out if he seems interested in you.
If your conversation is going well and he responds to your flirting, it's time to move forward with your mission. Don't get too worried about what he will say. Type out the text, check it over, and send it without hesitating.
Say, “Dylan, I like you. Would you be interested in going on a date with me this weekend?”
2. Crafting the Message
2-1. Keep your text simple.
When you like someone, it's easy to overthink what you are going to say to him. If you type out a long message and ask him out in the middle of it, he may miss your question. Keep the message short and to the point. Send a text that only includes you asking him out.
Don't ramble by saying, “I've been thinking about what I could do this weekend because I'm getting bored being home all the time. Would you want to go out? I know there isn't that much to do but I thought that we could have fun together. Anyway, I'm not even sure….”
You might want to ask out a guy from school. A teenage guy is more likely to respond to a simple text than to one where you ramble a lot. Text him something like, “Would you want to go out this weekend?”
If you want to ask out a coworker, say, “We never get much time to talk one-on-one at work. Would you want to grab a drink when we clock out tomorrow?”
2-2. Ask him out directly.
You may be tempted to beat around the bush, or mention going out in a vague way that he could miss. When you text him, say that you want to go out with him and ask him if he would be interested in doing that. It's important that he knows you are asking him out.
For example, don't say, “I haven't dated much recently and you seem like you haven't either. Maybe we would be able to do something together. That might be pretty cool.” Say, “Are you interested in going out with me?”
This is especially important when you are asking a guy out who you are already friends with. It's important to make sure they know you want to go out romantically. Say, “I know we hang out a lot, but would you want to go to Orion's party with me as my date?”
2-3. Ask him out to do something specific.
When you ask someone out, it's not all that effective to say, “Do you want to go out sometime?” There is no specific timeline or activity involved. Think of something cool you could do together and ask him to do that. Also offer a couple of times that would work well for you.
For example, tell him about a party you are going to over the weekend and ask if he wants to go with you. Ask him if he wants to try the new Italian restaurant near your house on Wednesday.
The possibilities are endless, and he may say no to the thing you suggest. Asking him to do something specific is still better than asking him “out” in general.
This is important when you are asking a guy you just met. Asking to make specific plans will help you find out what they like to do on a date. Say, “I'm a pretty big hockey fan, and I have tickets to the game this weekend. Do you want to be my date?”
2-4. Use proper grammar and full sentences.
Even with smartphones, it's common for people to abbreviate words and use hard to understand slang. When you ask a guy out, make sure to write complete sentences that make sense. It's a turnoff to see something that looks like confusing gibberish.
For example, don't text, “Ay, thot we could hang tmrw. Watcha gonna b doin?” Write, “I was thinking we could go out tomorrow. Would you be available?”
Double check your text before you hit send to make sure you didn't accidentally misspell something. Auto-correct can make a message confusing if you don't check over it before you send it.
3. Waiting for His Reply
3-1. Give him time to answer.
Texting is not always on a strict time table, which can be good and bad. After you ask him out, wait for him to text you back. If you start to send another text apologizing or asking him if he is thinking, don't send that text. Be patient and give him time to think and send you a response.
If you've been talking for a while and he doesn't respond right away, it may be his way of saying no, but don't assume this immediately.
3-2. Occupy yourself while you wait to hear from him.
If he doesn't respond right away to you asking him out, don't start panicking. Go find something to do while you wait. Staring at your phone or checking it every two minutes will drive you crazy. Set the ringer and find something to occupy your mind.
Go for a run, take a shower, turn on Netflix, pull out a book, or work on a hobby. As long as you find something to keep your mind busy, you'll be better off.
3-3. Check in with him if you don't hear from him.
Sometimes people don't respond to texts, or phones mess up and texts don't get to their destination. If you have waited a while, it's okay to check to make sure he received your message.
There's not an exact time when you should text him again. Most of the time if you haven't heard from him within one day, it's okay to text him to check in.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Starting the Conversation\\n1-1. Send a greeting text.\\nTry breaking the ice before you ask him out. Send him a simple greeting to get the conversation started. If you haven't talked to him before, remind him who you are and how you met. Say you've been excited to talk to him again. If you have talked before, just greet him the same way you would any other time.\\nPeople can't always respond to texts right away, so if your first text is you asking him out, you'll start to freak out if he doesn't respond quickly. Talking for a while first helps ensure that he is paying attention to his phone.\\nIf you have him talking already, there's a better chance that he'll respond positively to you asking him out. If you ask him out without any warning, he might be caught off guard and say no.\\nFor example, text him, “Hey Josh, this is Pete. That party was crazy last weekend. I'm glad we got to meet.” It's simple, but way more effective than texting, “Hey, what's up?”\\n1-2. Pay attention to his interest in the conversation.\\nText back and forth with him for a while to see how the conversation goes. If he constantly gives short answers or takes a long time in between, he may not be interested in you. You don't want to go straight to asking him out without having an idea whether or not he will say yes.\\nFind the balance between asking him out immediately and waiting so long that the conversation dwindles. If he responds well to four or five texts back and forth, take it as a good sign to go ahead and ask him.\\nEven if he doesn't seem that interested, it's okay to be bold and ask him out anyway. Just be prepared for a possible rejection.\\n1-3. Flirt and see how he responds.\\nAs you are texting, begin to send messages that are a bit flirtier than standard conversation. If he responds by flirting back, it's a good sign that he may be interested in going out. If he seems to ignore your flirting or responds negatively, avoid asking him out.\\nFor example, text him, “It's a bummer that I'm sitting at home alone. I'd much rather be snuggled up next to you.” If he says, “We could make that happen,” he probably likes you.\\n1-4. Ask him out if he seems interested in you.\\nIf your conversation is going well and he responds to your flirting, it's time to move forward with your mission. Don't get too worried about what he will say. Type out the text, check it over, and send it without hesitating.\\nSay, “Dylan, I like you. Would you be interested in going on a date with me this weekend?”\\n2. Crafting the Message\\n2-1. Keep your text simple.\\nWhen you like someone, it's easy to overthink what you are going to say to him. If you type out a long message and ask him out in the middle of it, he may miss your question. Keep the message short and to the point. Send a text that only includes you asking him out.\\nDon't ramble by saying, “I've been thinking about what I could do this weekend because I'm getting bored being home all the time. Would you want to go out? I know there isn't that much to do but I thought that we could have fun together. Anyway, I'm not even sure….”\\nYou might want to ask out a guy from school. A teenage guy is more likely to respond to a simple text than to one where you ramble a lot. Text him something like, “Would you want to go out this weekend?”\\nIf you want to ask out a coworker, say, “We never get much time to talk one-on-one at work. Would you want to grab a drink when we clock out tomorrow?”\\n2-2. Ask him out directly.\\nYou may be tempted to beat around the bush, or mention going out in a vague way that he could miss. When you text him, say that you want to go out with him and ask him if he would be interested in doing that. It's important that he knows you are asking him out. \\nFor example, don't say, “I haven't dated much recently and you seem like you haven't either. Maybe we would be able to do something together. That might be pretty cool.” Say, “Are you interested in going out with me?”\\nThis is especially important when you are asking a guy out who you are already friends with. It's important to make sure they know you want to go out romantically. Say, “I know we hang out a lot, but would you want to go to Orion's party with me as my date?”\\n2-3. Ask him out to do something specific.\\nWhen you ask someone out, it's not all that effective to say, “Do you want to go out sometime?” There is no specific timeline or activity involved. Think of something cool you could do together and ask him to do that. Also offer a couple of times that would work well for you.\\nFor example, tell him about a party you are going to over the weekend and ask if he wants to go with you. Ask him if he wants to try the new Italian restaurant near your house on Wednesday.\\nThe possibilities are endless, and he may say no to the thing you suggest. Asking him to do something specific is still better than asking him “out” in general.\\nThis is important when you are asking a guy you just met. Asking to make specific plans will help you find out what they like to do on a date. Say, “I'm a pretty big hockey fan, and I have tickets to the game this weekend. Do you want to be my date?”\\n2-4. Use proper grammar and full sentences.\\nEven with smartphones, it's common for people to abbreviate words and use hard to understand slang. When you ask a guy out, make sure to write complete sentences that make sense. It's a turnoff to see something that looks like confusing gibberish.\\nFor example, don't text, “Ay, thot we could hang tmrw. Watcha gonna b doin?” Write, “I was thinking we could go out tomorrow. Would you be available?”\\nDouble check your text before you hit send to make sure you didn't accidentally misspell something. Auto-correct can make a message confusing if you don't check over it before you send it.\\n3. Waiting for His Reply\\n3-1. Give him time to answer.\\nTexting is not always on a strict time table, which can be good and bad. After you ask him out, wait for him to text you back. If you start to send another text apologizing or asking him if he is thinking, don't send that text. Be patient and give him time to think and send you a response.\\nIf you've been talking for a while and he doesn't respond right away, it may be his way of saying no, but don't assume this immediately.\\n3-2. Occupy yourself while you wait to hear from him.\\nIf he doesn't respond right away to you asking him out, don't start panicking. Go find something to do while you wait. Staring at your phone or checking it every two minutes will drive you crazy. Set the ringer and find something to occupy your mind.\\nGo for a run, take a shower, turn on Netflix, pull out a book, or work on a hobby. As long as you find something to keep your mind busy, you'll be better off.\\n3-3. Check in with him if you don't hear from him.\\nSometimes people don't respond to texts, or phones mess up and texts don't get to their destination. If you have waited a while, it's okay to check to make sure he received your message.\\nThere's not an exact time when you should text him again. Most of the time if you haven't heard from him within one day, it's okay to text him to check in.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you really like a guy, texting is a great way to ask him out, and it is low-pressure for both of you. If you decide to ask a guy out over text, there are good and bad ways to do it. It's good to text with him for a while before you ask him out. The content you write in the message is important, too, so take some time to write a good text.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Starting the Conversation\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Send a greeting text.\", \"描述\": \"Try breaking the ice before you ask him out. Send him a simple greeting to get the conversation started. If you haven't talked to him before, remind him who you are and how you met. Say you've been excited to talk to him again. If you have talked before, just greet him the same way you would any other time.\\nPeople can't always respond to texts right away, so if your first text is you asking him out, you'll start to freak out if he doesn't respond quickly. Talking for a while first helps ensure that he is paying attention to his phone.\\nIf you have him talking already, there's a better chance that he'll respond positively to you asking him out. If you ask him out without any warning, he might be caught off guard and say no.\\nFor example, text him, “Hey Josh, this is Pete. That party was crazy last weekend. I'm glad we got to meet.” It's simple, but way more effective than texting, “Hey, what's up?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to his interest in the conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Text back and forth with him for a while to see how the conversation goes. If he constantly gives short answers or takes a long time in between, he may not be interested in you. You don't want to go straight to asking him out without having an idea whether or not he will say yes.\\nFind the balance between asking him out immediately and waiting so long that the conversation dwindles. If he responds well to four or five texts back and forth, take it as a good sign to go ahead and ask him.\\nEven if he doesn't seem that interested, it's okay to be bold and ask him out anyway. Just be prepared for a possible rejection.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Flirt and see how he responds.\", \"描述\": \"As you are texting, begin to send messages that are a bit flirtier than standard conversation. If he responds by flirting back, it's a good sign that he may be interested in going out. If he seems to ignore your flirting or responds negatively, avoid asking him out.\\nFor example, text him, “It's a bummer that I'm sitting at home alone. I'd much rather be snuggled up next to you.” If he says, “We could make that happen,” he probably likes you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask him out if he seems interested in you.\", \"描述\": \"If your conversation is going well and he responds to your flirting, it's time to move forward with your mission. Don't get too worried about what he will say. Type out the text, check it over, and send it without hesitating.\\nSay, “Dylan, I like you. Would you be interested in going on a date with me this weekend?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Crafting the Message\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep your text simple.\", \"描述\": \"When you like someone, it's easy to overthink what you are going to say to him. If you type out a long message and ask him out in the middle of it, he may miss your question. Keep the message short and to the point. Send a text that only includes you asking him out.\\nDon't ramble by saying, “I've been thinking about what I could do this weekend because I'm getting bored being home all the time. Would you want to go out? I know there isn't that much to do but I thought that we could have fun together. Anyway, I'm not even sure….”\\nYou might want to ask out a guy from school. A teenage guy is more likely to respond to a simple text than to one where you ramble a lot. Text him something like, “Would you want to go out this weekend?”\\nIf you want to ask out a coworker, say, “We never get much time to talk one-on-one at work. Would you want to grab a drink when we clock out tomorrow?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask him out directly.\", \"描述\": \"You may be tempted to beat around the bush, or mention going out in a vague way that he could miss. When you text him, say that you want to go out with him and ask him if he would be interested in doing that. It's important that he knows you are asking him out. \\nFor example, don't say, “I haven't dated much recently and you seem like you haven't either. Maybe we would be able to do something together. That might be pretty cool.” Say, “Are you interested in going out with me?”\\nThis is especially important when you are asking a guy out who you are already friends with. It's important to make sure they know you want to go out romantically. Say, “I know we hang out a lot, but would you want to go to Orion's party with me as my date?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask him out to do something specific.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask someone out, it's not all that effective to say, “Do you want to go out sometime?” There is no specific timeline or activity involved. Think of something cool you could do together and ask him to do that. Also offer a couple of times that would work well for you.\\nFor example, tell him about a party you are going to over the weekend and ask if he wants to go with you. Ask him if he wants to try the new Italian restaurant near your house on Wednesday.\\nThe possibilities are endless, and he may say no to the thing you suggest. Asking him to do something specific is still better than asking him “out” in general.\\nThis is important when you are asking a guy you just met. Asking to make specific plans will help you find out what they like to do on a date. Say, “I'm a pretty big hockey fan, and I have tickets to the game this weekend. Do you want to be my date?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Use proper grammar and full sentences.\", \"描述\": \"Even with smartphones, it's common for people to abbreviate words and use hard to understand slang. When you ask a guy out, make sure to write complete sentences that make sense. It's a turnoff to see something that looks like confusing gibberish.\\nFor example, don't text, “Ay, thot we could hang tmrw. Watcha gonna b doin?” Write, “I was thinking we could go out tomorrow. Would you be available?”\\nDouble check your text before you hit send to make sure you didn't accidentally misspell something. Auto-correct can make a message confusing if you don't check over it before you send it.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Waiting for His Reply\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give him time to answer.\", \"描述\": \"Texting is not always on a strict time table, which can be good and bad. After you ask him out, wait for him to text you back. If you start to send another text apologizing or asking him if he is thinking, don't send that text. Be patient and give him time to think and send you a response.\\nIf you've been talking for a while and he doesn't respond right away, it may be his way of saying no, but don't assume this immediately.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Occupy yourself while you wait to hear from him.\", \"描述\": \"If he doesn't respond right away to you asking him out, don't start panicking. Go find something to do while you wait. Staring at your phone or checking it every two minutes will drive you crazy. Set the ringer and find something to occupy your mind.\\nGo for a run, take a shower, turn on Netflix, pull out a book, or work on a hobby. As long as you find something to keep your mind busy, you'll be better off.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check in with him if you don't hear from him.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes people don't respond to texts, or phones mess up and texts don't get to their destination. If you have waited a while, it's okay to check to make sure he received your message.\\nThere's not an exact time when you should text him again. Most of the time if you haven't heard from him within one day, it's okay to text him to check in.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,571 | How to Ask a Guy Out over Text Long Distance | 1. Ask him to meet for a date in person.
Maybe he only lives a few hours away or travels to your city frequently.
Let him know that next time he visits, you’d love to go on a date. It’s nerve-wracking to ask a guy out and risk being rejected, but you’ll never know until you try! Putting yourself out there is a huge part of dating, and if you really like the guy, it’s worth the risk.
You can say, “I know the drive is a little far, but I’d love to see you in person. Would you ever want to go out together next time you’re in town?”
2. Try a coffee date for something more casual.
This is a good way to ease into getting to know each other.
Pick your favorite coffee shop in the area or one that provides a nice ambiance. You want a space that allows you a little bit of privacy, so think of a space that's not too crowded or loud.
Try something like, "Next time you're in town, would you want to get coffee together?"
3. See if he wants to go on a virtual dinner date.
Maybe he can't meet with you in person just yet.
You can still ask him out! Ask him if he wants to cook separate dinners and eat them together over FaceTime or Skype. If cooking isn't your thing, you can always suggest getting takeout from the same type of restaurant instead. It'll feel like you're having a shared experience even when thousands of miles apart.
Say something like, "I know we can't go to a restaurant together just yet, but would you want to have a virtual dinner with me sometime? We can even get takeout!"
You could also try a funny approach, like "The good thing about being apart is that you don't have to pretend to like my cooking just yet. Would you want to cook our own dinners and eat together over FaceTime?
Make things extra special by dressing up as you would for an in-person date.
4. Try an in-person dinner date for a romantic option.
If you really like this guy, a classic dinner date can be a great choice.
It's a perfect opportunity to get to know someone, as you can talk the whole meal! You can also pick how fancy you want the date to be. If you want to impress the guy with something classic, pick a well-reviewed restaurant with a nice ambiance. You can also try something a little more casual, like dinner at an outdoor patio or food truck.
Try a simple, "Would you want to get dinner with me next time you're in town?"
5. Go to a museum for something fun and unexpected.
This is a great spot to facilitate conversation.
Choose something relevant to both of your interests if you can. If you're both really interested in history, invite him to check out the natural history museum in your area. You'll be able to talk about the exhibits during any lulls in the conversation, and it'll be a good opportunity to show him the area if he lives out of town.
Say something like, "I've been meaning to check out the art museum here for ages! Would you want to go with me next time you visit?"
Try walking around a rose garden or historic monument in your area. Just make sure it's a public, populated place for your first date!
6. Ask him out on a virtual movie date.
Lots of streaming platforms offer ways to watch movies virtually.
Pick a new movie that just came out, and ask if he wants to watch it with you. Make things extra fun by suggesting you both make popcorn and pick out your favorite candy to mimic the movie theater experience. Watching a movie is a fun way to get to know someone because you can bond over the shared experience and talk about what you thought of it after it's over.
You could also try something like, “I think I just rented the worst B movie ever. Would you want to watch it with me over FaceTime and make fun of it?
7. Include an emoji or two in your message.
This is a fun way to make your texts a little more flirty.
Add a smiley face emoji, a red heart, or even a heart eyes emoji if you're feeling extra bold. These can also be a great way to clarify your message if it's a little ambiguous. If you're asking him to a museum and want him to know it's a date, you can text something like, "I think it'd be fun to be a tourist with you for a day" and add a blushing smiley face emoji.
Try not to overdo it with the emojis. One or two every so often is plenty! You want your words to do most of the talking.
8. Send a funny video when you ask to break the ice.
Using your sense of humor can make you both feel more comfortable.
Try sending a funny YouTube video or TikTok that you think your crush would get a kick out of to accompany your request. Adding a dose of humor to your request shows him that you're confident and not taking things too seriously. This helps you both relax, and he'll most likely want to spend time with someone as fun and carefree as you!
Try picking something relevant to the date, like a hilarious clip from the movie you want to watch with him.
9. Be direct to make sure he knows it’s a date.
Use specific language and avoid phrases like “hang out” or “meet up.”
This could make the guy feel confused about whether you want to go on a date or just casually spend time together as friends. If you really like him, it’s best to be blunt and ask for what you want.
Try something like, “Would you want to go out next time you’re in town?”
Pick a specific date and time for the date so there's no confusion. For example: “Are you free this Friday? I’d love to cook dinner together over Facetime if you’re free.”
10. Verify his identity if you've never met him.
Sometimes people make fake online dating profiles.
If you met on a dating app or website, check his profile for a few key signs. Notice if they have only one picture, no information in their bio, or don’t link to other social media accounts. Just because he doesn’t link to his Instagram on Tinder doesn’t mean he’s lying about who he is, but if things seem too good to be true (or his only profile picture looks like a stock photo of a male model), ask him out on a virtual date first before meeting him in person.
Virtual dates are a great way to safely get to know someone if you’ve never met them in person. If their profile seems fake and they also don’t want to meet virtually, that’s a sign that something isn’t right.
11. Take safety precautions if you meet in person.
Meet in a public place, like a coffee shop or a restaurant.
It’s safer to meet someone for the first time when there are other people around. Tell a friend where you’re going and how long you’ll be there. Make sure you don’t rely on him for transportation, too. Drive yourself, have a friend give you a ride, or take the bus to meet him.
Meeting in a public place also makes things a little less awkward since you'll have distractions like people-watching, drinks and food, and background noise like music to keep the conversation going.
If something feels off, trust your intuition! There’s nothing wrong with politely declining a second date, or even excusing yourself to leave if he makes you really uncomfortable.
Tips
Everyone, no matter how confident or attractive, gets rejected. If the guy says no, stay positive and remember that there are plenty of other guys out there who would love to date you. Don't let this stop you from putting yourself out there again in the future.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:47:59",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Ask him to meet for a date in person.\\nMaybe he only lives a few hours away or travels to your city frequently.\\nLet him know that next time he visits, you’d love to go on a date. It’s nerve-wracking to ask a guy out and risk being rejected, but you’ll never know until you try! Putting yourself out there is a huge part of dating, and if you really like the guy, it’s worth the risk.\\nYou can say, “I know the drive is a little far, but I’d love to see you in person. Would you ever want to go out together next time you’re in town?”\\n2. Try a coffee date for something more casual.\\nThis is a good way to ease into getting to know each other.\\nPick your favorite coffee shop in the area or one that provides a nice ambiance. You want a space that allows you a little bit of privacy, so think of a space that's not too crowded or loud.\\nTry something like, \\\"Next time you're in town, would you want to get coffee together?\\\"\\n3. See if he wants to go on a virtual dinner date.\\nMaybe he can't meet with you in person just yet.\\nYou can still ask him out! Ask him if he wants to cook separate dinners and eat them together over FaceTime or Skype. If cooking isn't your thing, you can always suggest getting takeout from the same type of restaurant instead. It'll feel like you're having a shared experience even when thousands of miles apart.\\nSay something like, \\\"I know we can't go to a restaurant together just yet, but would you want to have a virtual dinner with me sometime? We can even get takeout!\\\"\\nYou could also try a funny approach, like \\\"The good thing about being apart is that you don't have to pretend to like my cooking just yet. Would you want to cook our own dinners and eat together over FaceTime?\\nMake things extra special by dressing up as you would for an in-person date.\\n4. Try an in-person dinner date for a romantic option.\\nIf you really like this guy, a classic dinner date can be a great choice.\\nIt's a perfect opportunity to get to know someone, as you can talk the whole meal! You can also pick how fancy you want the date to be. If you want to impress the guy with something classic, pick a well-reviewed restaurant with a nice ambiance. You can also try something a little more casual, like dinner at an outdoor patio or food truck.\\nTry a simple, \\\"Would you want to get dinner with me next time you're in town?\\\"\\n5. Go to a museum for something fun and unexpected.\\nThis is a great spot to facilitate conversation.\\nChoose something relevant to both of your interests if you can. If you're both really interested in history, invite him to check out the natural history museum in your area. You'll be able to talk about the exhibits during any lulls in the conversation, and it'll be a good opportunity to show him the area if he lives out of town.\\nSay something like, \\\"I've been meaning to check out the art museum here for ages! Would you want to go with me next time you visit?\\\"\\nTry walking around a rose garden or historic monument in your area. Just make sure it's a public, populated place for your first date!\\n6. Ask him out on a virtual movie date.\\nLots of streaming platforms offer ways to watch movies virtually.\\nPick a new movie that just came out, and ask if he wants to watch it with you. Make things extra fun by suggesting you both make popcorn and pick out your favorite candy to mimic the movie theater experience. Watching a movie is a fun way to get to know someone because you can bond over the shared experience and talk about what you thought of it after it's over.\\nYou could also try something like, “I think I just rented the worst B movie ever. Would you want to watch it with me over FaceTime and make fun of it?\\n7. Include an emoji or two in your message.\\nThis is a fun way to make your texts a little more flirty.\\nAdd a smiley face emoji, a red heart, or even a heart eyes emoji if you're feeling extra bold. These can also be a great way to clarify your message if it's a little ambiguous. If you're asking him to a museum and want him to know it's a date, you can text something like, \\\"I think it'd be fun to be a tourist with you for a day\\\" and add a blushing smiley face emoji.\\nTry not to overdo it with the emojis. One or two every so often is plenty! You want your words to do most of the talking.\\n8. Send a funny video when you ask to break the ice.\\nUsing your sense of humor can make you both feel more comfortable.\\nTry sending a funny YouTube video or TikTok that you think your crush would get a kick out of to accompany your request. Adding a dose of humor to your request shows him that you're confident and not taking things too seriously. This helps you both relax, and he'll most likely want to spend time with someone as fun and carefree as you!\\nTry picking something relevant to the date, like a hilarious clip from the movie you want to watch with him.\\n9. Be direct to make sure he knows it’s a date.\\nUse specific language and avoid phrases like “hang out” or “meet up.”\\nThis could make the guy feel confused about whether you want to go on a date or just casually spend time together as friends. If you really like him, it’s best to be blunt and ask for what you want.\\nTry something like, “Would you want to go out next time you’re in town?”\\nPick a specific date and time for the date so there's no confusion. For example: “Are you free this Friday? I’d love to cook dinner together over Facetime if you’re free.”\\n10. Verify his identity if you've never met him.\\nSometimes people make fake online dating profiles.\\nIf you met on a dating app or website, check his profile for a few key signs. Notice if they have only one picture, no information in their bio, or don’t link to other social media accounts. Just because he doesn’t link to his Instagram on Tinder doesn’t mean he’s lying about who he is, but if things seem too good to be true (or his only profile picture looks like a stock photo of a male model), ask him out on a virtual date first before meeting him in person.\\nVirtual dates are a great way to safely get to know someone if you’ve never met them in person. If their profile seems fake and they also don’t want to meet virtually, that’s a sign that something isn’t right.\\n11. Take safety precautions if you meet in person.\\nMeet in a public place, like a coffee shop or a restaurant.\\nIt’s safer to meet someone for the first time when there are other people around. Tell a friend where you’re going and how long you’ll be there. Make sure you don’t rely on him for transportation, too. Drive yourself, have a friend give you a ride, or take the bus to meet him.\\nMeeting in a public place also makes things a little less awkward since you'll have distractions like people-watching, drinks and food, and background noise like music to keep the conversation going.\\nIf something feels off, trust your intuition! There’s nothing wrong with politely declining a second date, or even excusing yourself to leave if he makes you really uncomfortable.\\nTips\\nEveryone, no matter how confident or attractive, gets rejected. If the guy says no, stay positive and remember that there are plenty of other guys out there who would love to date you. Don't let this stop you from putting yourself out there again in the future.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can be tough when you like a guy that lives far away. You don’t get to bump into him in the halls at school or grab coffee together after work, and you miss him! You can’t help who you like, and if you’re falling for someone who lives out of state, all hope is not lost. New long-distance relationships start every day, and many turn into successful, long-term partnerships. The first step in having a flourishing long-distance romance is telling the guy how you feel and asking him out on a date. You can’t tell him in person, but you can text him how you feel. Read on for tips on how to ask a guy out over text.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask him to meet for a date in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maybe he only lives a few hours away or travels to your city frequently.\", \"描述\": \"Let him know that next time he visits, you’d love to go on a date. It’s nerve-wracking to ask a guy out and risk being rejected, but you’ll never know until you try! Putting yourself out there is a huge part of dating, and if you really like the guy, it’s worth the risk.\\nYou can say, “I know the drive is a little far, but I’d love to see you in person. Would you ever want to go out together next time you’re in town?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Try a coffee date for something more casual.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a good way to ease into getting to know each other.\", \"描述\": \"Pick your favorite coffee shop in the area or one that provides a nice ambiance. You want a space that allows you a little bit of privacy, so think of a space that's not too crowded or loud.\\nTry something like, \\\"Next time you're in town, would you want to get coffee together?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"See if he wants to go on a virtual dinner date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Maybe he can't meet with you in person just yet.\", \"描述\": \"You can still ask him out! Ask him if he wants to cook separate dinners and eat them together over FaceTime or Skype. If cooking isn't your thing, you can always suggest getting takeout from the same type of restaurant instead. It'll feel like you're having a shared experience even when thousands of miles apart.\\nSay something like, \\\"I know we can't go to a restaurant together just yet, but would you want to have a virtual dinner with me sometime? We can even get takeout!\\\"\\nYou could also try a funny approach, like \\\"The good thing about being apart is that you don't have to pretend to like my cooking just yet. Would you want to cook our own dinners and eat together over FaceTime?\\nMake things extra special by dressing up as you would for an in-person date.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try an in-person dinner date for a romantic option.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you really like this guy, a classic dinner date can be a great choice.\", \"描述\": \"It's a perfect opportunity to get to know someone, as you can talk the whole meal! You can also pick how fancy you want the date to be. If you want to impress the guy with something classic, pick a well-reviewed restaurant with a nice ambiance. You can also try something a little more casual, like dinner at an outdoor patio or food truck.\\nTry a simple, \\\"Would you want to get dinner with me next time you're in town?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go to a museum for something fun and unexpected.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a great spot to facilitate conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Choose something relevant to both of your interests if you can. If you're both really interested in history, invite him to check out the natural history museum in your area. You'll be able to talk about the exhibits during any lulls in the conversation, and it'll be a good opportunity to show him the area if he lives out of town.\\nSay something like, \\\"I've been meaning to check out the art museum here for ages! Would you want to go with me next time you visit?\\\"\\nTry walking around a rose garden or historic monument in your area. Just make sure it's a public, populated place for your first date!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask him out on a virtual movie date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Lots of streaming platforms offer ways to watch movies virtually.\", \"描述\": \"Pick a new movie that just came out, and ask if he wants to watch it with you. Make things extra fun by suggesting you both make popcorn and pick out your favorite candy to mimic the movie theater experience. Watching a movie is a fun way to get to know someone because you can bond over the shared experience and talk about what you thought of it after it's over.\\nYou could also try something like, “I think I just rented the worst B movie ever. Would you want to watch it with me over FaceTime and make fun of it?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Include an emoji or two in your message.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is a fun way to make your texts a little more flirty.\", \"描述\": \"Add a smiley face emoji, a red heart, or even a heart eyes emoji if you're feeling extra bold. These can also be a great way to clarify your message if it's a little ambiguous. If you're asking him to a museum and want him to know it's a date, you can text something like, \\\"I think it'd be fun to be a tourist with you for a day\\\" and add a blushing smiley face emoji.\\nTry not to overdo it with the emojis. One or two every so often is plenty! You want your words to do most of the talking.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Send a funny video when you ask to break the ice.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using your sense of humor can make you both feel more comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Try sending a funny YouTube video or TikTok that you think your crush would get a kick out of to accompany your request. Adding a dose of humor to your request shows him that you're confident and not taking things too seriously. This helps you both relax, and he'll most likely want to spend time with someone as fun and carefree as you!\\nTry picking something relevant to the date, like a hilarious clip from the movie you want to watch with him.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Be direct to make sure he knows it’s a date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use specific language and avoid phrases like “hang out” or “meet up.”\", \"描述\": \"This could make the guy feel confused about whether you want to go on a date or just casually spend time together as friends. If you really like him, it’s best to be blunt and ask for what you want.\\nTry something like, “Would you want to go out next time you’re in town?”\\nPick a specific date and time for the date so there's no confusion. For example: “Are you free this Friday? I’d love to cook dinner together over Facetime if you’re free.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Verify his identity if you've never met him.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Sometimes people make fake online dating profiles.\", \"描述\": \"If you met on a dating app or website, check his profile for a few key signs. Notice if they have only one picture, no information in their bio, or don’t link to other social media accounts. Just because he doesn’t link to his Instagram on Tinder doesn’t mean he’s lying about who he is, but if things seem too good to be true (or his only profile picture looks like a stock photo of a male model), ask him out on a virtual date first before meeting him in person.\\nVirtual dates are a great way to safely get to know someone if you’ve never met them in person. If their profile seems fake and they also don’t want to meet virtually, that’s a sign that something isn’t right.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Take safety precautions if you meet in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Meet in a public place, like a coffee shop or a restaurant.\", \"描述\": \"It’s safer to meet someone for the first time when there are other people around. Tell a friend where you’re going and how long you’ll be there. Make sure you don’t rely on him for transportation, too. Drive yourself, have a friend give you a ride, or take the bus to meet him.\\nMeeting in a public place also makes things a little less awkward since you'll have distractions like people-watching, drinks and food, and background noise like music to keep the conversation going.\\nIf something feels off, trust your intuition! There’s nothing wrong with politely declining a second date, or even excusing yourself to leave if he makes you really uncomfortable.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Everyone, no matter how confident or attractive, gets rejected. If the guy says no, stay positive and remember that there are plenty of other guys out there who would love to date you. Don't let this stop you from putting yourself out there again in the future.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,572 | How to Ask a Guy You Like to the Movies | 1. Asking a Guy to the Movies
1-1. Take the initiative.
Even if it's usually guys that ask the girl out, you shouldn't wait around for him to ask you. Take the initiative yourself and surprise him with your confidence. Although it helps to have a solid chemistry with the guy before asking him out anywhere, don't hesitate to ask
Because a movie date is so casual, it's perfectly fine to ask him out via electronic communication like text or private messaging.
1-2. Decide whether your offer should be open-ended or specific.
Before you ask out the guy in question, you should take a moment to consider what your offer will entail. An open-ended offer like "Want to go to the movies sometime?" carries a different implication than asking someone to go to a specific movie. While an open-ended offer is less interesting than something specific, it's a bolder way of letting someone know you're specifically interested in spending more time with them.
1-3. Pitch the movie to him before asking.
If you're nervous about asking the guy to a movie, if helps to bring up the movie first. That way, not only will he be more excited to go see the movie, you'll also have a natural way of guiding the conversation into asking about it.
The plot, starring case, director or genre are all things you might bring up while you're describing a movie.
Positive reviews will help your case. If the two of you have a twisted sense of humour, you may even want to go to a film with abysmal reviews. You may even bond over how terrible the movie was.
1-4. Keep it casual.
A movie date is a casual outing, so the way you go about asking should be treated in much the same way. Be kind and easygoing when you ask. Asking someone on a movie date should never be elaborate or overly complex. Most people love going to the movies, so chances are he'll say yes so long as you don't try to force an answer out of him.
Say something like "Hey, would you like to see that movie tomorrow at 8? It's an action flick, and it's gotten good reviews."
1-5. Be open to going in a group.
There's a chance your original idea of a film date will end up encompassing a group. Although you would think this will take away from the romantic appeal, you can still have an intimate experience with someone regardless if other friends have tagged along. If anything, if the two of you are currently nervous around each other, it can alleviate tension to have other people around.
2. Choosing a Film
2-1. Find out what's playing.
Simply enough, you'll need to find out what films are playing before you're able to pick something out. Check the movie showings at a theatre that is reasonably accessible for the both of you. If you haven't asked him out yet, knowing the movie times will give you the ability to specify your proposal to a time, place and chosen movie.
2-2. Pick a film that's suitable for a date.
Romantic comedies and horror films are generally seen to be the best type of movie to take a date to. However, you should ultimately base your decision around the type of films the two of you enjoy most. Although dramas and documentaries may be less suited for dates, they can still be a good idea if you think that would be more his thing.
2-3. Avoid extremely popular films.
If you're going on a date with someone, you're going to want at least some privacy. Although a movie theatre will never be truly private, you should nonetheless avoid films that have only recently come out or are selling a lot of tickets. Having some space to yourselves will increase the feeling of intimacy between the two of you.
2-4. Contemplate the sort of movie he might like to see.
What movies does the guy you're interested in watch usually? Although a date should ultimately revolve around the couple, a good choice of movie will give you plenty to talk about. If the movie is something he'll like, he'll be more likely to say yes to your proposal.
In the case that the date turns sour, having a good movie to watch will mean the evening isn't a total failure.
3. Behaving During a Film Date
3-1. Consider wearing perfume or cologne.
If you want your date to be a hit, light perfume or cologne may be just the thing. Because you'll be in a dark theatre throughout the course of the date, he won't be able to see you. Rather, you'll have touch and scent as your tools of attraction. A small dose of good-smelling stuff will make it easier to draw his senses to you.
3-2. Figure out payment for the film.
Most couples nowadays buy their own tickets if they're on a first date. However, if you're asking someone to the movies, you can also offer to pay for both tickets. If he insists on paying, feel free to let him if you're fine with that. Any of these routes are fine, so long as the two of you are happy about it.
How couples pay can vary by where you live. Ask your friends for advice if you're not sure what the local protocol is.
It's also fine to feel it out on the date. If your date seems uncomfortable with you paying, tell him you can each get your own tickets.
3-3. Pick isolated seats.
Even if the theatre isn't very crowded, it's still better to get seats that are relatively off to the back and isolated. A bit of extra privacy will give you two the chance to get closer together.
You may be able to choose your seats ahead of time depending on the theater. That way, you ensure that you both can sit together.
3-4. Enjoy light touching together.
Hand holding and cuddling are both good ways of expressing and enjoying attraction while in a movie theatre. This light touching is usually benign, and there's nothing keeping you from doing so while still watching the film relatively undistracted.
If you don't know how he'll react, lightly grazing his arm or leg with your hand leaves open the room for plausible deniability.
3-5. Relax.
At the end of the day, the two of you are there to enjoy a movie. Regardless whether it pans out into a longer-lasting relationship, you should be happy with the fact that you're out doing something fun with someone you find interesting. Chances are that if you relax, the two of you will have a higher likelihood of getting closer.
Tips
Contrary to what you may believe, guys actually do like being asked out. It demonstrates to them that you are fully confident in yourself.[14]
X
Research source
Try planning something before or after the movie so you have time to talk and get to know each other more.[15]
X
Expert Source
John KeeganDating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
Warnings
Don't text or talk excessively during the movie, as it's distracting to other theatregoers.
Some people don't recommend movies for the first date, as it's a somewhat generic choice and doesn't offer a lot of opportunity to really talk.[16]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking a Guy to the Movies\\n1-1. Take the initiative.\\nEven if it's usually guys that ask the girl out, you shouldn't wait around for him to ask you. Take the initiative yourself and surprise him with your confidence. Although it helps to have a solid chemistry with the guy before asking him out anywhere, don't hesitate to ask\\nBecause a movie date is so casual, it's perfectly fine to ask him out via electronic communication like text or private messaging.\\n1-2. Decide whether your offer should be open-ended or specific.\\nBefore you ask out the guy in question, you should take a moment to consider what your offer will entail. An open-ended offer like \\\"Want to go to the movies sometime?\\\" carries a different implication than asking someone to go to a specific movie. While an open-ended offer is less interesting than something specific, it's a bolder way of letting someone know you're specifically interested in spending more time with them.\\n1-3. Pitch the movie to him before asking.\\nIf you're nervous about asking the guy to a movie, if helps to bring up the movie first. That way, not only will he be more excited to go see the movie, you'll also have a natural way of guiding the conversation into asking about it. \\nThe plot, starring case, director or genre are all things you might bring up while you're describing a movie.\\nPositive reviews will help your case. If the two of you have a twisted sense of humour, you may even want to go to a film with abysmal reviews. You may even bond over how terrible the movie was.\\n1-4. Keep it casual.\\nA movie date is a casual outing, so the way you go about asking should be treated in much the same way. Be kind and easygoing when you ask. Asking someone on a movie date should never be elaborate or overly complex. Most people love going to the movies, so chances are he'll say yes so long as you don't try to force an answer out of him.\\nSay something like \\\"Hey, would you like to see that movie tomorrow at 8? It's an action flick, and it's gotten good reviews.\\\"\\n1-5. Be open to going in a group.\\nThere's a chance your original idea of a film date will end up encompassing a group. Although you would think this will take away from the romantic appeal, you can still have an intimate experience with someone regardless if other friends have tagged along. If anything, if the two of you are currently nervous around each other, it can alleviate tension to have other people around.\\n2. Choosing a Film\\n2-1. Find out what's playing.\\nSimply enough, you'll need to find out what films are playing before you're able to pick something out. Check the movie showings at a theatre that is reasonably accessible for the both of you. If you haven't asked him out yet, knowing the movie times will give you the ability to specify your proposal to a time, place and chosen movie.\\n2-2. Pick a film that's suitable for a date.\\nRomantic comedies and horror films are generally seen to be the best type of movie to take a date to. However, you should ultimately base your decision around the type of films the two of you enjoy most. Although dramas and documentaries may be less suited for dates, they can still be a good idea if you think that would be more his thing.\\n2-3. Avoid extremely popular films.\\nIf you're going on a date with someone, you're going to want at least some privacy. Although a movie theatre will never be truly private, you should nonetheless avoid films that have only recently come out or are selling a lot of tickets. Having some space to yourselves will increase the feeling of intimacy between the two of you.\\n2-4. Contemplate the sort of movie he might like to see.\\nWhat movies does the guy you're interested in watch usually? Although a date should ultimately revolve around the couple, a good choice of movie will give you plenty to talk about. If the movie is something he'll like, he'll be more likely to say yes to your proposal.\\nIn the case that the date turns sour, having a good movie to watch will mean the evening isn't a total failure.\\n3. Behaving During a Film Date\\n3-1. Consider wearing perfume or cologne.\\nIf you want your date to be a hit, light perfume or cologne may be just the thing. Because you'll be in a dark theatre throughout the course of the date, he won't be able to see you. Rather, you'll have touch and scent as your tools of attraction. A small dose of good-smelling stuff will make it easier to draw his senses to you.\\n3-2. Figure out payment for the film.\\nMost couples nowadays buy their own tickets if they're on a first date. However, if you're asking someone to the movies, you can also offer to pay for both tickets. If he insists on paying, feel free to let him if you're fine with that. Any of these routes are fine, so long as the two of you are happy about it.\\nHow couples pay can vary by where you live. Ask your friends for advice if you're not sure what the local protocol is.\\nIt's also fine to feel it out on the date. If your date seems uncomfortable with you paying, tell him you can each get your own tickets.\\n3-3. Pick isolated seats.\\nEven if the theatre isn't very crowded, it's still better to get seats that are relatively off to the back and isolated. A bit of extra privacy will give you two the chance to get closer together.\\nYou may be able to choose your seats ahead of time depending on the theater. That way, you ensure that you both can sit together.\\n3-4. Enjoy light touching together.\\nHand holding and cuddling are both good ways of expressing and enjoying attraction while in a movie theatre. This light touching is usually benign, and there's nothing keeping you from doing so while still watching the film relatively undistracted.\\nIf you don't know how he'll react, lightly grazing his arm or leg with your hand leaves open the room for plausible deniability.\\n3-5. Relax.\\nAt the end of the day, the two of you are there to enjoy a movie. Regardless whether it pans out into a longer-lasting relationship, you should be happy with the fact that you're out doing something fun with someone you find interesting. Chances are that if you relax, the two of you will have a higher likelihood of getting closer.\\nTips\\nContrary to what you may believe, guys actually do like being asked out. It demonstrates to them that you are fully confident in yourself.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nTry planning something before or after the movie so you have time to talk and get to know each other more.[15]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJohn KeeganDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.\\nWarnings\\nDon't text or talk excessively during the movie, as it's distracting to other theatregoers.\\nSome people don't recommend movies for the first date, as it's a somewhat generic choice and doesn't offer a lot of opportunity to really talk.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Although stereotypically guys ask girls out on dates, you shouldn't hesitate to ask someone you're interested in if he hasn't sprung a move already, whether you a girl or a guy. A movie date is a very casual way of getting to know someone, and a good movie can offer an icebreaker if you're worried about awkwardness. If you've ever wondered how you can go about asking a guy out on a movie date, you should remind yourself that it's usually a very easygoing experience. So long as you ask without being imposing, it's sure to be a pleasant experience for both of you.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking a Guy to the Movies\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take the initiative.\", \"描述\": \"Even if it's usually guys that ask the girl out, you shouldn't wait around for him to ask you. Take the initiative yourself and surprise him with your confidence. Although it helps to have a solid chemistry with the guy before asking him out anywhere, don't hesitate to ask\\nBecause a movie date is so casual, it's perfectly fine to ask him out via electronic communication like text or private messaging.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Decide whether your offer should be open-ended or specific.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask out the guy in question, you should take a moment to consider what your offer will entail. An open-ended offer like \\\"Want to go to the movies sometime?\\\" carries a different implication than asking someone to go to a specific movie. While an open-ended offer is less interesting than something specific, it's a bolder way of letting someone know you're specifically interested in spending more time with them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pitch the movie to him before asking.\", \"描述\": \"If you're nervous about asking the guy to a movie, if helps to bring up the movie first. That way, not only will he be more excited to go see the movie, you'll also have a natural way of guiding the conversation into asking about it. \\nThe plot, starring case, director or genre are all things you might bring up while you're describing a movie.\\nPositive reviews will help your case. If the two of you have a twisted sense of humour, you may even want to go to a film with abysmal reviews. You may even bond over how terrible the movie was.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep it casual.\", \"描述\": \"A movie date is a casual outing, so the way you go about asking should be treated in much the same way. Be kind and easygoing when you ask. Asking someone on a movie date should never be elaborate or overly complex. Most people love going to the movies, so chances are he'll say yes so long as you don't try to force an answer out of him.\\nSay something like \\\"Hey, would you like to see that movie tomorrow at 8? It's an action flick, and it's gotten good reviews.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be open to going in a group.\", \"描述\": \"There's a chance your original idea of a film date will end up encompassing a group. Although you would think this will take away from the romantic appeal, you can still have an intimate experience with someone regardless if other friends have tagged along. If anything, if the two of you are currently nervous around each other, it can alleviate tension to have other people around.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing a Film\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out what's playing.\", \"描述\": \"Simply enough, you'll need to find out what films are playing before you're able to pick something out. Check the movie showings at a theatre that is reasonably accessible for the both of you. If you haven't asked him out yet, knowing the movie times will give you the ability to specify your proposal to a time, place and chosen movie.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick a film that's suitable for a date.\", \"描述\": \"Romantic comedies and horror films are generally seen to be the best type of movie to take a date to. However, you should ultimately base your decision around the type of films the two of you enjoy most. Although dramas and documentaries may be less suited for dates, they can still be a good idea if you think that would be more his thing.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid extremely popular films.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going on a date with someone, you're going to want at least some privacy. Although a movie theatre will never be truly private, you should nonetheless avoid films that have only recently come out or are selling a lot of tickets. Having some space to yourselves will increase the feeling of intimacy between the two of you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Contemplate the sort of movie he might like to see.\", \"描述\": \"What movies does the guy you're interested in watch usually? Although a date should ultimately revolve around the couple, a good choice of movie will give you plenty to talk about. If the movie is something he'll like, he'll be more likely to say yes to your proposal.\\nIn the case that the date turns sour, having a good movie to watch will mean the evening isn't a total failure.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Behaving During a Film Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Consider wearing perfume or cologne.\", \"描述\": \"If you want your date to be a hit, light perfume or cologne may be just the thing. Because you'll be in a dark theatre throughout the course of the date, he won't be able to see you. Rather, you'll have touch and scent as your tools of attraction. A small dose of good-smelling stuff will make it easier to draw his senses to you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Figure out payment for the film.\", \"描述\": \"Most couples nowadays buy their own tickets if they're on a first date. However, if you're asking someone to the movies, you can also offer to pay for both tickets. If he insists on paying, feel free to let him if you're fine with that. Any of these routes are fine, so long as the two of you are happy about it.\\nHow couples pay can vary by where you live. Ask your friends for advice if you're not sure what the local protocol is.\\nIt's also fine to feel it out on the date. If your date seems uncomfortable with you paying, tell him you can each get your own tickets.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick isolated seats.\", \"描述\": \"Even if the theatre isn't very crowded, it's still better to get seats that are relatively off to the back and isolated. A bit of extra privacy will give you two the chance to get closer together.\\nYou may be able to choose your seats ahead of time depending on the theater. That way, you ensure that you both can sit together.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Enjoy light touching together.\", \"描述\": \"Hand holding and cuddling are both good ways of expressing and enjoying attraction while in a movie theatre. This light touching is usually benign, and there's nothing keeping you from doing so while still watching the film relatively undistracted.\\nIf you don't know how he'll react, lightly grazing his arm or leg with your hand leaves open the room for plausible deniability.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Relax.\", \"描述\": \"At the end of the day, the two of you are there to enjoy a movie. Regardless whether it pans out into a longer-lasting relationship, you should be happy with the fact that you're out doing something fun with someone you find interesting. Chances are that if you relax, the two of you will have a higher likelihood of getting closer.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Contrary to what you may believe, guys actually do like being asked out. It demonstrates to them that you are fully confident in yourself.[14]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Try planning something before or after the movie so you have time to talk and get to know each other more.[15]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nJohn KeeganDating Coach\\nExpert Interview. 5 November 2019.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't text or talk excessively during the movie, as it's distracting to other theatregoers.\\n\", \"Some people don't recommend movies for the first date, as it's a somewhat generic choice and doesn't offer a lot of opportunity to really talk.[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,573 | How to Ask a Guy for His Phone Number (Girls Only) | 1. Approaching the Guy
1-1. Pluck up your courage.
When you spot the guy away from his friends (if preferred) and in a quiet spot where you can't be misheard, gather your wits about you and head in his direction.
1-2. Be cool and confident.
There is no need to pretend you're there for any other reason than to ask for his number. He'll respect your confidence and chutzpah if you make it clear you made a beeline for him just for this purpose.
Some people advise pretending to go up for some other reason, such as wanting help with a forgotten homework question or wanting to know something. That might work if you're feeling really timid but it can also backfire in that that's the only thing you'll end up asking, as your courage fails you. Moreover, it'll soon become clear to the guy that asking for his help was just a ruse, which can show you're able to lie. Not a great start.
2. Asking for His Number
2-1. Ask the guy for his phone number.
Avoid beating around the bush, seeming coy or making a joke about it. All you need to do is get to the point. Guys are taught to get to the point early on, without resort to wiles and in the twenty-first century, it's somewhat odd that some gals feel they still have to play the game of coyness. So you can do this too, it's not unreasonable to get to the point.
2-2. Be casual in asking.
You don't need to be blunt but you do need to be clear, and by being casual, you can achieve a smooth request.
Say something casual on the lines of "Hey, can I have your number to text you sometimes?" Simple. Then say thanks, and walk away. At this point, he'll anticipate your text, and you'll have his number.
You don't need to explain the request but if you want to, keep it simple, such as "it'd be super helpful if I could reach you by text"; or "I'd just like to be able to reach you easily to ask you to some of the dorm parties we'll be throwing soon".
If he asks you why you want his number, keep it simple. For example, say something like "I'd like to keep in contact with you, I think you're really cool" or "You give me good advice" or "You're good fun" .
2-3. Be a chicken.
If it is really, really hard for you to be open about getting his number, use studies or work or something to get the number. Ask if you can review test subjects with him and he will most likely give you his number.
Or, approach the guy casually and show him your phone. Show him your contacts and then say: I really want to beat my friend and see who has the most contacts by the end of the day so.. can I get your number? (Don't sound pushy or greedy or excited, act as if you're telling this to your parents.)
The problem with using any ruse is that this is all he'll probably expect you to text about, unless he has made it openly clear he fancies you. If you start texting constantly about anything unrelated, he's likely to be unimpressed.
3. Handling Rejections
3-1. Don't be devastated if he says no to giving you his number.
There are lots of possible reasons, from wondering why you're asking out of the blue to not being allowed to give his number to people. Or he might not know you that well and feels that this is awkward.
Get to know him before you ask for his phone number again. There is another chance!
Say thanks for his consideration. End politely with something like: "No worries, just thought I'd ask. I can understand if you feel it's a bit much from someone you don't really know yet. Maybe another time."
3-2. Have a friend pass the number to you.
This is fraught with the potential annoyance this guy might feel towards his friend or even a sense of betrayal but if you work with it carefully, and don't abuse having the number, it might be okay sometimes.
Don't dump the friend in it; be vague and say that "someone" offered his number to you without specifying exactly who. Or, if there is a plausible reason for seeing his number, such as on a phone tree for sports practice, or something, you have a legitimate out for saying you saw it that way. Although, little white lies aren't a good start to anything.
4. Using of the New Phone Number Wisely
Use the phone number sparingly once you have it.
You don't want to end up in the situation where he so regrets that you got hold of his number that he goes and changes it just to be rid of your texting and calls! The phone number is just a small step in growing your relationship, so spend a lot of time on all the other important aspects, such as getting to know him face-to-face and hanging out together. Use the phone as a tool to make meet-ups, not an excuse to pour out your heart.
Don't text him too much. Good job if you get his number, but don't annoy him and make him regret his decision. Be mature with what you say, and have fun!
It's okay to use emojis here and there, but don't overuse them—you don't want to come off as too eager.
If you'd like to be flirty, send him a picture of where you are, or send them a song that reminds you of them.
If he takes a while to reply to your texts, he might be playing hard to get.
Tips
Wind up the conversation by saying the following: "Hey, I don't want to hold you up. Can I call you sometime so we can talk more?".
If you're using a ruse to get the number and he asks why this is so important to you, or you just want a reason to back it up, just be honest. Don't start your bond off as a lie; it may come back to haunt you.
Don't be afraid to ask for his number. If he doesn't give it to you then at least you know asking for a guys number won't kill you, and don't worry, there will be plenty more opportunities to get it.
Warnings
Don't sound greedy, pushy, annoying, excited or anything else that may cause him to run in the other direction.
If you do get the number from someone else, be aware that they might end up telling this guy.
Don't force your friend to ask him for you. If they're willing to pass it on, that's fine but don't badger the friend.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching the Guy\\n1-1. Pluck up your courage.\\nWhen you spot the guy away from his friends (if preferred) and in a quiet spot where you can't be misheard, gather your wits about you and head in his direction.\\n1-2. Be cool and confident.\\nThere is no need to pretend you're there for any other reason than to ask for his number. He'll respect your confidence and chutzpah if you make it clear you made a beeline for him just for this purpose.\\nSome people advise pretending to go up for some other reason, such as wanting help with a forgotten homework question or wanting to know something. That might work if you're feeling really timid but it can also backfire in that that's the only thing you'll end up asking, as your courage fails you. Moreover, it'll soon become clear to the guy that asking for his help was just a ruse, which can show you're able to lie. Not a great start.\\n2. Asking for His Number\\n2-1. Ask the guy for his phone number.\\nAvoid beating around the bush, seeming coy or making a joke about it. All you need to do is get to the point. Guys are taught to get to the point early on, without resort to wiles and in the twenty-first century, it's somewhat odd that some gals feel they still have to play the game of coyness. So you can do this too, it's not unreasonable to get to the point.\\n2-2. Be casual in asking.\\nYou don't need to be blunt but you do need to be clear, and by being casual, you can achieve a smooth request.\\nSay something casual on the lines of \\\"Hey, can I have your number to text you sometimes?\\\" Simple. Then say thanks, and walk away. At this point, he'll anticipate your text, and you'll have his number.\\nYou don't need to explain the request but if you want to, keep it simple, such as \\\"it'd be super helpful if I could reach you by text\\\"; or \\\"I'd just like to be able to reach you easily to ask you to some of the dorm parties we'll be throwing soon\\\".\\nIf he asks you why you want his number, keep it simple. For example, say something like \\\"I'd like to keep in contact with you, I think you're really cool\\\" or \\\"You give me good advice\\\" or \\\"You're good fun\\\" .\\n2-3. Be a chicken.\\nIf it is really, really hard for you to be open about getting his number, use studies or work or something to get the number. Ask if you can review test subjects with him and he will most likely give you his number.\\nOr, approach the guy casually and show him your phone. Show him your contacts and then say: I really want to beat my friend and see who has the most contacts by the end of the day so.. can I get your number? (Don't sound pushy or greedy or excited, act as if you're telling this to your parents.)\\nThe problem with using any ruse is that this is all he'll probably expect you to text about, unless he has made it openly clear he fancies you. If you start texting constantly about anything unrelated, he's likely to be unimpressed.\\n3. Handling Rejections\\n3-1. Don't be devastated if he says no to giving you his number.\\nThere are lots of possible reasons, from wondering why you're asking out of the blue to not being allowed to give his number to people. Or he might not know you that well and feels that this is awkward.\\nGet to know him before you ask for his phone number again. There is another chance!\\nSay thanks for his consideration. End politely with something like: \\\"No worries, just thought I'd ask. I can understand if you feel it's a bit much from someone you don't really know yet. Maybe another time.\\\"\\n3-2. Have a friend pass the number to you.\\nThis is fraught with the potential annoyance this guy might feel towards his friend or even a sense of betrayal but if you work with it carefully, and don't abuse having the number, it might be okay sometimes.\\nDon't dump the friend in it; be vague and say that \\\"someone\\\" offered his number to you without specifying exactly who. Or, if there is a plausible reason for seeing his number, such as on a phone tree for sports practice, or something, you have a legitimate out for saying you saw it that way. Although, little white lies aren't a good start to anything.\\n4. Using of the New Phone Number Wisely\\nUse the phone number sparingly once you have it.\\nYou don't want to end up in the situation where he so regrets that you got hold of his number that he goes and changes it just to be rid of your texting and calls! The phone number is just a small step in growing your relationship, so spend a lot of time on all the other important aspects, such as getting to know him face-to-face and hanging out together. Use the phone as a tool to make meet-ups, not an excuse to pour out your heart.\\nDon't text him too much. Good job if you get his number, but don't annoy him and make him regret his decision. Be mature with what you say, and have fun!\\nIt's okay to use emojis here and there, but don't overuse them—you don't want to come off as too eager.\\nIf you'd like to be flirty, send him a picture of where you are, or send them a song that reminds you of them.\\nIf he takes a while to reply to your texts, he might be playing hard to get.\\nTips\\nWind up the conversation by saying the following: \\\"Hey, I don't want to hold you up. Can I call you sometime so we can talk more?\\\".\\nIf you're using a ruse to get the number and he asks why this is so important to you, or you just want a reason to back it up, just be honest. Don't start your bond off as a lie; it may come back to haunt you.\\nDon't be afraid to ask for his number. If he doesn't give it to you then at least you know asking for a guys number won't kill you, and don't worry, there will be plenty more opportunities to get it.\\nWarnings\\nDon't sound greedy, pushy, annoying, excited or anything else that may cause him to run in the other direction.\\nIf you do get the number from someone else, be aware that they might end up telling this guy.\\nDon't force your friend to ask him for you. If they're willing to pass it on, that's fine but don't badger the friend.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"When you have a special guy in your sights, one of the best ways to reach out is through a text or a phone call if you don't have an opportunity to talk in person. Of course, this requires getting their phone number, and although it may seem nerve-wracking, it doesn't have to be!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching the Guy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pluck up your courage.\", \"描述\": \"When you spot the guy away from his friends (if preferred) and in a quiet spot where you can't be misheard, gather your wits about you and head in his direction.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be cool and confident.\", \"描述\": \"There is no need to pretend you're there for any other reason than to ask for his number. He'll respect your confidence and chutzpah if you make it clear you made a beeline for him just for this purpose.\\nSome people advise pretending to go up for some other reason, such as wanting help with a forgotten homework question or wanting to know something. That might work if you're feeling really timid but it can also backfire in that that's the only thing you'll end up asking, as your courage fails you. Moreover, it'll soon become clear to the guy that asking for his help was just a ruse, which can show you're able to lie. Not a great start.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for His Number\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask the guy for his phone number.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid beating around the bush, seeming coy or making a joke about it. All you need to do is get to the point. Guys are taught to get to the point early on, without resort to wiles and in the twenty-first century, it's somewhat odd that some gals feel they still have to play the game of coyness. So you can do this too, it's not unreasonable to get to the point.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be casual in asking.\", \"描述\": \"You don't need to be blunt but you do need to be clear, and by being casual, you can achieve a smooth request.\\nSay something casual on the lines of \\\"Hey, can I have your number to text you sometimes?\\\" Simple. Then say thanks, and walk away. At this point, he'll anticipate your text, and you'll have his number.\\nYou don't need to explain the request but if you want to, keep it simple, such as \\\"it'd be super helpful if I could reach you by text\\\"; or \\\"I'd just like to be able to reach you easily to ask you to some of the dorm parties we'll be throwing soon\\\".\\nIf he asks you why you want his number, keep it simple. For example, say something like \\\"I'd like to keep in contact with you, I think you're really cool\\\" or \\\"You give me good advice\\\" or \\\"You're good fun\\\" .\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be a chicken.\", \"描述\": \"If it is really, really hard for you to be open about getting his number, use studies or work or something to get the number. Ask if you can review test subjects with him and he will most likely give you his number.\\nOr, approach the guy casually and show him your phone. Show him your contacts and then say: I really want to beat my friend and see who has the most contacts by the end of the day so.. can I get your number? (Don't sound pushy or greedy or excited, act as if you're telling this to your parents.)\\nThe problem with using any ruse is that this is all he'll probably expect you to text about, unless he has made it openly clear he fancies you. If you start texting constantly about anything unrelated, he's likely to be unimpressed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Handling Rejections\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't be devastated if he says no to giving you his number.\", \"描述\": \"There are lots of possible reasons, from wondering why you're asking out of the blue to not being allowed to give his number to people. Or he might not know you that well and feels that this is awkward.\\nGet to know him before you ask for his phone number again. There is another chance!\\nSay thanks for his consideration. End politely with something like: \\\"No worries, just thought I'd ask. I can understand if you feel it's a bit much from someone you don't really know yet. Maybe another time.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have a friend pass the number to you.\", \"描述\": \"This is fraught with the potential annoyance this guy might feel towards his friend or even a sense of betrayal but if you work with it carefully, and don't abuse having the number, it might be okay sometimes.\\nDon't dump the friend in it; be vague and say that \\\"someone\\\" offered his number to you without specifying exactly who. Or, if there is a plausible reason for seeing his number, such as on a phone tree for sports practice, or something, you have a legitimate out for saying you saw it that way. Although, little white lies aren't a good start to anything.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Using of the New Phone Number Wisely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use the phone number sparingly once you have it.\", \"描述\": \"You don't want to end up in the situation where he so regrets that you got hold of his number that he goes and changes it just to be rid of your texting and calls! The phone number is just a small step in growing your relationship, so spend a lot of time on all the other important aspects, such as getting to know him face-to-face and hanging out together. Use the phone as a tool to make meet-ups, not an excuse to pour out your heart.\\nDon't text him too much. Good job if you get his number, but don't annoy him and make him regret his decision. Be mature with what you say, and have fun!\\nIt's okay to use emojis here and there, but don't overuse them—you don't want to come off as too eager.\\nIf you'd like to be flirty, send him a picture of where you are, or send them a song that reminds you of them.\\nIf he takes a while to reply to your texts, he might be playing hard to get.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Wind up the conversation by saying the following: \\\"Hey, I don't want to hold you up. Can I call you sometime so we can talk more?\\\".\\n\", \"If you're using a ruse to get the number and he asks why this is so important to you, or you just want a reason to back it up, just be honest. Don't start your bond off as a lie; it may come back to haunt you.\\n\", \"Don't be afraid to ask for his number. If he doesn't give it to you then at least you know asking for a guys number won't kill you, and don't worry, there will be plenty more opportunities to get it.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don't sound greedy, pushy, annoying, excited or anything else that may cause him to run in the other direction.\\n\", \"If you do get the number from someone else, be aware that they might end up telling this guy.\\n\", \"Don't force your friend to ask him for you. If they're willing to pass it on, that's fine but don't badger the friend.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,574 | 8 Straightforward Steps to Ask a Guy for Money Through Text | 1. Be upfront about why you’re asking.
They're more likely to give you money if you explain what it’s for.
Since you know this person well enough to have their phone number, they’re probably a friend, coworker, or family member, right? These folks are likely to be sympathetic to your situation. Briefly explain why you need the money and what you’re spending it on. For example:
"Hey Vic! I hate to ask, but I’m in a bind. My energy bill is due Friday and I don’t get paid until the 30th."
"Hi Uncle Phil! I didn’t budget enough money this month for my textbooks and school starts next week. Can you help me out?"
"Lukas! So this is so embarrassing—I just finished eating at a restaurant and when I went to pay, I realized I left my wallet at home. Can you Venmo a few bucks?"
2. Specify how much money you need.
If you're vague, they may think you’re taking advantage of them.
Don’t beat around the bush! If you ask them for “some money” or vaguely say “it’s for rent” without noting an exact sum, they’ll probably feel like you’re trying to milk them for a handout. And if they have to ask, “Well, how much do you need?” you can be sure they’re cringing! Specifying the amount makes this easier for both of you. You might say:
"My rent this month is $875 and I’m $200 short."
"I just need $20 to cover this meal and I’m good!"
"The cashier said the total for my textbooks is $134.24."
3. Tell them when you need the money.
Give them a deadline if it’s urgent or if you’re asking for a large sum.
The more convenient you make this for them, the better! If you need to borrow more than a couple hundred bucks, try to give them some advance warning so they’ll have a chance to get the money together. If you need help paying a bill, let them know the due date. And if you literally need cash right now, make that very clear. A few examples for you:
"Rent is due on the 1st, so I’d need the money in 2 weeks."
"The due date on my bill is October 24th. Can you get me the money by then?"
"This is urgent tbh—the waiter is literally asking me to pay the tab right now lol."
4. Suggest how to send you the money.
Don't force them to solve any additional problems for you!
You’re already asking for money, so make this easy on them and just state the best way to get it to you. This depends on your specific situation, of course, but giving them more than one option is always good (if possible). If there’s only one option, though, be super clear about that. For example:
"Can you Venmo the money now? Or give your CC to the cashier? She's standing right here."
"Would you mind making the check out to Gaslight Square Apartments? That way, you can mail it directly to my landlord."
"I can drop by and grab a $20 bill if you aren’t busy. I appreciate it!"
5. Note when you’ll pay them back.
They’re more likely to give you the money if you promise to repay it.
If you're asking for a $100 or less from a family member or loved one, they may not be concerned about whether you pay them back. You should definitely still offer, though! If you’re asking for a significant amount of money, most people will feel more comfortable if you tell them exactly when they can expect repayment. You might say:
"I get paid next Friday, so I can repay the $200 on that day."
"I can't repay the full $1,000 in a lump sum, but I can do $100 every month until my debt is paid off."
"Venmo the cash now and I’ll pay for your meal when we go to dinner this Sunday!"
6. Put it in writing if you’re asking for a large sum.
Draft a document that details your repayment plan to put them at ease.
Asking for a large amount of money can be pretty awkward, especially if you know it's going to take a while to pay it all back. You can reduce the weirdness by offering to draw up a payment plan, complete with due dates and installment amounts. For example:
"I get paid every other Friday, so I can send you $100 via PayPal every time I get paid. I'll pay the first installment next Friday. If we stay on that schedule, you'll be repaid in full by Feb 24. Does that work?"
Since you’re requesting money via text, tell them you’ll email the document to them in a few minutes. They can look it over and agree before sending money.
7. Drop some hints first if they owe you money.
Try this if your friend owes you and you'd rather not confront them.
Asking a friend to pay you back is a bit awkward! If the day they promised to pay you back has already passed, try to give your friend the benefit of the doubt (maybe they forgot). Before making demands, try dropping a few hints like:
"I can’t come out to the club tonight, tbh. I’m totally broke."
"My rent is due next week and I’m short. What should I do?"
8. Be calm and direct if you need to be paid immediately.
Explaining the urgency can soften the request a bit.
Even if you're super annoyed with your friend at this point, demanding “I need that $50 you owe me and I need it now!” is probably not the best way to go. Try a calmer approach so your friend feels sympathetic to your situation. For example:
"I’m sorry to ask, but I really need the $50 you owe me so I can pay my CC bill. It’s due in a week..."
"Can you help ya girl out? My car note is due on Friday and I’m short. If you can repay that $100 you owe, I’ll be able to pay my note on time. :)"
To be direct without actually having to confront them, send them a money request via PayPal. That might do the trick!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Be upfront about why you’re asking.\\nThey're more likely to give you money if you explain what it’s for.\\nSince you know this person well enough to have their phone number, they’re probably a friend, coworker, or family member, right? These folks are likely to be sympathetic to your situation. Briefly explain why you need the money and what you’re spending it on. For example:\\n\\\"Hey Vic! I hate to ask, but I’m in a bind. My energy bill is due Friday and I don’t get paid until the 30th.\\\"\\n\\\"Hi Uncle Phil! I didn’t budget enough money this month for my textbooks and school starts next week. Can you help me out?\\\"\\n\\\"Lukas! So this is so embarrassing—I just finished eating at a restaurant and when I went to pay, I realized I left my wallet at home. Can you Venmo a few bucks?\\\"\\n2. Specify how much money you need.\\nIf you're vague, they may think you’re taking advantage of them.\\nDon’t beat around the bush! If you ask them for “some money” or vaguely say “it’s for rent” without noting an exact sum, they’ll probably feel like you’re trying to milk them for a handout. And if they have to ask, “Well, how much do you need?” you can be sure they’re cringing! Specifying the amount makes this easier for both of you. You might say:\\n\\\"My rent this month is $875 and I’m $200 short.\\\"\\n\\\"I just need $20 to cover this meal and I’m good!\\\"\\n\\\"The cashier said the total for my textbooks is $134.24.\\\"\\n3. Tell them when you need the money.\\nGive them a deadline if it’s urgent or if you’re asking for a large sum.\\nThe more convenient you make this for them, the better! If you need to borrow more than a couple hundred bucks, try to give them some advance warning so they’ll have a chance to get the money together. If you need help paying a bill, let them know the due date. And if you literally need cash right now, make that very clear. A few examples for you:\\n\\\"Rent is due on the 1st, so I’d need the money in 2 weeks.\\\"\\n\\\"The due date on my bill is October 24th. Can you get me the money by then?\\\"\\n\\\"This is urgent tbh—the waiter is literally asking me to pay the tab right now lol.\\\"\\n4. Suggest how to send you the money.\\nDon't force them to solve any additional problems for you!\\nYou’re already asking for money, so make this easy on them and just state the best way to get it to you. This depends on your specific situation, of course, but giving them more than one option is always good (if possible). If there’s only one option, though, be super clear about that. For example:\\n\\\"Can you Venmo the money now? Or give your CC to the cashier? She's standing right here.\\\"\\n\\\"Would you mind making the check out to Gaslight Square Apartments? That way, you can mail it directly to my landlord.\\\"\\n\\\"I can drop by and grab a $20 bill if you aren’t busy. I appreciate it!\\\"\\n5. Note when you’ll pay them back.\\nThey’re more likely to give you the money if you promise to repay it.\\nIf you're asking for a $100 or less from a family member or loved one, they may not be concerned about whether you pay them back. You should definitely still offer, though! If you’re asking for a significant amount of money, most people will feel more comfortable if you tell them exactly when they can expect repayment. You might say:\\n\\\"I get paid next Friday, so I can repay the $200 on that day.\\\"\\n\\\"I can't repay the full $1,000 in a lump sum, but I can do $100 every month until my debt is paid off.\\\"\\n\\\"Venmo the cash now and I’ll pay for your meal when we go to dinner this Sunday!\\\"\\n6. Put it in writing if you’re asking for a large sum.\\nDraft a document that details your repayment plan to put them at ease.\\nAsking for a large amount of money can be pretty awkward, especially if you know it's going to take a while to pay it all back. You can reduce the weirdness by offering to draw up a payment plan, complete with due dates and installment amounts. For example:\\n\\\"I get paid every other Friday, so I can send you $100 via PayPal every time I get paid. I'll pay the first installment next Friday. If we stay on that schedule, you'll be repaid in full by Feb 24. Does that work?\\\"\\nSince you’re requesting money via text, tell them you’ll email the document to them in a few minutes. They can look it over and agree before sending money.\\n7. Drop some hints first if they owe you money.\\nTry this if your friend owes you and you'd rather not confront them.\\nAsking a friend to pay you back is a bit awkward! If the day they promised to pay you back has already passed, try to give your friend the benefit of the doubt (maybe they forgot). Before making demands, try dropping a few hints like:\\n\\\"I can’t come out to the club tonight, tbh. I’m totally broke.\\\"\\n\\\"My rent is due next week and I’m short. What should I do?\\\"\\n8. Be calm and direct if you need to be paid immediately.\\nExplaining the urgency can soften the request a bit.\\nEven if you're super annoyed with your friend at this point, demanding “I need that $50 you owe me and I need it now!” is probably not the best way to go. Try a calmer approach so your friend feels sympathetic to your situation. For example:\\n\\\"I’m sorry to ask, but I really need the $50 you owe me so I can pay my CC bill. It’s due in a week...\\\"\\n\\\"Can you help ya girl out? My car note is due on Friday and I’m short. If you can repay that $100 you owe, I’ll be able to pay my note on time. :)\\\"\\nTo be direct without actually having to confront them, send them a money request via PayPal. That might do the trick!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking for money can be a little awkward, especially if you have to do it via text. We totally get that! Luckily, there are a few simple things you can do to make the process go as smoothly as possible. If you want to learn more about asking for money via text, read on for some useful tips!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be upfront about why you’re asking.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They're more likely to give you money if you explain what it’s for.\", \"描述\": \"Since you know this person well enough to have their phone number, they’re probably a friend, coworker, or family member, right? These folks are likely to be sympathetic to your situation. Briefly explain why you need the money and what you’re spending it on. For example:\\n\\\"Hey Vic! I hate to ask, but I’m in a bind. My energy bill is due Friday and I don’t get paid until the 30th.\\\"\\n\\\"Hi Uncle Phil! I didn’t budget enough money this month for my textbooks and school starts next week. Can you help me out?\\\"\\n\\\"Lukas! So this is so embarrassing—I just finished eating at a restaurant and when I went to pay, I realized I left my wallet at home. Can you Venmo a few bucks?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Specify how much money you need.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you're vague, they may think you’re taking advantage of them.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t beat around the bush! If you ask them for “some money” or vaguely say “it’s for rent” without noting an exact sum, they’ll probably feel like you’re trying to milk them for a handout. And if they have to ask, “Well, how much do you need?” you can be sure they’re cringing! Specifying the amount makes this easier for both of you. You might say:\\n\\\"My rent this month is $875 and I’m $200 short.\\\"\\n\\\"I just need $20 to cover this meal and I’m good!\\\"\\n\\\"The cashier said the total for my textbooks is $134.24.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell them when you need the money.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give them a deadline if it’s urgent or if you’re asking for a large sum.\", \"描述\": \"The more convenient you make this for them, the better! If you need to borrow more than a couple hundred bucks, try to give them some advance warning so they’ll have a chance to get the money together. If you need help paying a bill, let them know the due date. And if you literally need cash right now, make that very clear. A few examples for you:\\n\\\"Rent is due on the 1st, so I’d need the money in 2 weeks.\\\"\\n\\\"The due date on my bill is October 24th. Can you get me the money by then?\\\"\\n\\\"This is urgent tbh—the waiter is literally asking me to pay the tab right now lol.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Suggest how to send you the money.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don't force them to solve any additional problems for you!\", \"描述\": \"You’re already asking for money, so make this easy on them and just state the best way to get it to you. This depends on your specific situation, of course, but giving them more than one option is always good (if possible). If there’s only one option, though, be super clear about that. For example:\\n\\\"Can you Venmo the money now? Or give your CC to the cashier? She's standing right here.\\\"\\n\\\"Would you mind making the check out to Gaslight Square Apartments? That way, you can mail it directly to my landlord.\\\"\\n\\\"I can drop by and grab a $20 bill if you aren’t busy. I appreciate it!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Note when you’ll pay them back.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"They’re more likely to give you the money if you promise to repay it.\", \"描述\": \"If you're asking for a $100 or less from a family member or loved one, they may not be concerned about whether you pay them back. You should definitely still offer, though! If you’re asking for a significant amount of money, most people will feel more comfortable if you tell them exactly when they can expect repayment. You might say:\\n\\\"I get paid next Friday, so I can repay the $200 on that day.\\\"\\n\\\"I can't repay the full $1,000 in a lump sum, but I can do $100 every month until my debt is paid off.\\\"\\n\\\"Venmo the cash now and I’ll pay for your meal when we go to dinner this Sunday!\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Put it in writing if you’re asking for a large sum.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Draft a document that details your repayment plan to put them at ease.\", \"描述\": \"Asking for a large amount of money can be pretty awkward, especially if you know it's going to take a while to pay it all back. You can reduce the weirdness by offering to draw up a payment plan, complete with due dates and installment amounts. For example:\\n\\\"I get paid every other Friday, so I can send you $100 via PayPal every time I get paid. I'll pay the first installment next Friday. If we stay on that schedule, you'll be repaid in full by Feb 24. Does that work?\\\"\\nSince you’re requesting money via text, tell them you’ll email the document to them in a few minutes. They can look it over and agree before sending money.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Drop some hints first if they owe you money.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try this if your friend owes you and you'd rather not confront them.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a friend to pay you back is a bit awkward! If the day they promised to pay you back has already passed, try to give your friend the benefit of the doubt (maybe they forgot). Before making demands, try dropping a few hints like:\\n\\\"I can’t come out to the club tonight, tbh. I’m totally broke.\\\"\\n\\\"My rent is due next week and I’m short. What should I do?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be calm and direct if you need to be paid immediately.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Explaining the urgency can soften the request a bit.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you're super annoyed with your friend at this point, demanding “I need that $50 you owe me and I need it now!” is probably not the best way to go. Try a calmer approach so your friend feels sympathetic to your situation. For example:\\n\\\"I’m sorry to ask, but I really need the $50 you owe me so I can pay my CC bill. It’s due in a week...\\\"\\n\\\"Can you help ya girl out? My car note is due on Friday and I’m short. If you can repay that $100 you owe, I’ll be able to pay my note on time. :)\\\"\\nTo be direct without actually having to confront them, send them a money request via PayPal. That might do the trick!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,575 | How to Ask a Guy if He Likes You | 1. Breaking the Ice If You Haven't Met
1-1. Give the guy a compliment.
Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and even if you haven't said much else to him, a compliment can come off as casual if you do it right. Pick something you notice about his outfit, or try complimenting his smarts. Just give him a quick compliment to let him know you've noticed him.
For example, you could say, "Hey, great job answering that question from the teacher! It was a hard one," "That's a cool backpack!" or "You have great taste in music!"
1-2. Make a comment about something you have in common.
That could be a class you're taking together or just something you see in the room. The goal is to get him talking to you!
For instance, you could say, "That test in math was sure hard, wasn't it?" or "Hey, it sure is crowded in here, isn't it?"
1-3. Get him to do something small for you.
Asking someone for a favor makes them give a little bit of themselves to you. In turn, they tend to like you more. The favor doesn't have to be anything big. It can be as simple as "Can you pass me the salt, please?"
You could also try "Would you grab me a napkin?" or "Can you keep an eye on my stuff for a second while I go to the bathroom?"
1-4. Buy the guy's coffee for him.
If you're going on a coffee run, ask if he wants anything. If you're a little nervous, you could offer coffee to several people. Either way, don't take his money for the coffee, and he'll probably return the favor.
It doesn't have to be coffee! It could be a soda, candy, or even something like a magazine.
1-5. Quiz the guy about himself.
People like talking about themselves, so open a conversation by asking him a question or two. It can be about anything involving him, from a light question to a slightly more serious one.
For instance, you could ask, "Have you studied for that test? It looks hard," "Why are you here this late in the afternoon?" or "Where did you get that awesome binder?"
1-6. Talk about yourself, too.
If the guy turns the questions on you, be willing to give him some answers. You can't sustain a whole conversation with just questions about him! Answer him honestly, and then give him another question in return.
For instance, if he asks you what you like about school, you could say, "My favorite subject is science! I love doing experiments and predicting the outcome. What's your favorite subject?"
If he asks about your interests, you might say, "I love reading and going to the movies. I just love getting lost in a story! Painting is also fun. I love art class! What do you like?
2. Working up to Asking the Guy
2-1. Make friends first.
If you tell a guy you like him out of the blue, it may catch him off guard. Try making friends with him first, by continuing to strike up conversations with him over time. Keep talking to him every time you see him, especially if he seems interested!
Ask the guy to hang out with you. You don't have to hang out alone with him. Invite him out with a group of your friends, for instance. You could all go to the movies, to the park, or to the coffee shop. Spending time with him helps you get to know each other!
For example, you might say, "Hey, we're going to get ice cream this afternoon. Want to come?"
2-2. Show him you like him.
Little things can help you say you like the guy. For instance, making eye contact, smiling at him, and touching his arm while talking to him all subtly let him know that you like him as more than a friend!
You can also give him compliments, bring him small gifts, or try to cheer him up when he's down.
2-3. Gather your confidence
It can be a little scary to tell a guy you like him. That's perfectly normal! Tell yourself that you can do it! Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your good qualities and then give asking him your question a practice run.
If you're running low on confidence, try asking your friends to encourage you. It can be good to hear what's good about you from someone else!
2-4. Remind yourself that, no matter what happens, it's not the end of the world.
If you're worried about talking to the guy, think about the possible outcomes. He might say he likes you! Alternatively, he might say he likes you just as a friend. He might even say he doesn't like you. Of course that hurts! But remind yourself, the world won't end. He may not like you but someone will! You just have to be patient.
If you don't get the response you're looking for, it's okay to feel a little blue. Try to find a way to cheer yourself up. Go watch a funny movie or hang out with a friend, for instance.
3. Asking the Question
3-1. Try asking the guy in person if you're feeling brave.
Asking the guy in person lets you get it over with quickly. Plus, you'll be able to see what his body language is saying. When you're having a conversation with him, wait for a pause. Then, pluck up the courage and ask him. Be as specific as you can!
For example, you might say, "John, I've been meaning to ask you... Do you like me as more than a friend?"
You could also say, "John, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just say it: Do you want to be more than just friends?"
3-2. Text him if you can't bring yourself to do it in person.
It can be hard to confess your feelings in person, and in this instance, it's okay to ask him over text. It gives both of you a chance to think about what's being said and make thoughtful responses.
For instance, you could write, "Hi, we've been talking for a while, and I just wanted to ask you, do you like me? As more than a friend?"
3-3. Tell the guy it's okay if he doesn't like you.
When you're asking, you can say it's okay either way, whether he likes you or not. You just want to know the truth. That way, it helps him express his feelings honestly.
For instance, you might say, "It's fine if you don't like me back. I completely understand. I just want to clear the air."
3-4. Confess your own feelings.
If you're asking because you like the guy, let him know that. If you're asking because you think things are getting more serious and you want to be friends, tell him that, instead. It's important to be honest about your feelings.
For instance, you might say, "I want to know because I like you."
On the other hand, you could say, "I feel like maybe you do like me, which is really nice, but I just want to be friends."
Tips
When making eye-contact, give him a genuine smile. Smiles connect people!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Breaking the Ice If You Haven't Met\\n1-1. Give the guy a compliment.\\nEveryone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and even if you haven't said much else to him, a compliment can come off as casual if you do it right. Pick something you notice about his outfit, or try complimenting his smarts. Just give him a quick compliment to let him know you've noticed him.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Hey, great job answering that question from the teacher! It was a hard one,\\\" \\\"That's a cool backpack!\\\" or \\\"You have great taste in music!\\\"\\n1-2. Make a comment about something you have in common.\\nThat could be a class you're taking together or just something you see in the room. The goal is to get him talking to you!\\nFor instance, you could say, \\\"That test in math was sure hard, wasn't it?\\\" or \\\"Hey, it sure is crowded in here, isn't it?\\\"\\n1-3. Get him to do something small for you.\\nAsking someone for a favor makes them give a little bit of themselves to you. In turn, they tend to like you more. The favor doesn't have to be anything big. It can be as simple as \\\"Can you pass me the salt, please?\\\"\\nYou could also try \\\"Would you grab me a napkin?\\\" or \\\"Can you keep an eye on my stuff for a second while I go to the bathroom?\\\"\\n1-4. Buy the guy's coffee for him.\\nIf you're going on a coffee run, ask if he wants anything. If you're a little nervous, you could offer coffee to several people. Either way, don't take his money for the coffee, and he'll probably return the favor.\\nIt doesn't have to be coffee! It could be a soda, candy, or even something like a magazine.\\n1-5. Quiz the guy about himself.\\nPeople like talking about themselves, so open a conversation by asking him a question or two. It can be about anything involving him, from a light question to a slightly more serious one.\\nFor instance, you could ask, \\\"Have you studied for that test? It looks hard,\\\" \\\"Why are you here this late in the afternoon?\\\" or \\\"Where did you get that awesome binder?\\\"\\n1-6. Talk about yourself, too.\\nIf the guy turns the questions on you, be willing to give him some answers. You can't sustain a whole conversation with just questions about him! Answer him honestly, and then give him another question in return.\\nFor instance, if he asks you what you like about school, you could say, \\\"My favorite subject is science! I love doing experiments and predicting the outcome. What's your favorite subject?\\\"\\nIf he asks about your interests, you might say, \\\"I love reading and going to the movies. I just love getting lost in a story! Painting is also fun. I love art class! What do you like?\\n2. Working up to Asking the Guy\\n2-1. Make friends first.\\nIf you tell a guy you like him out of the blue, it may catch him off guard. Try making friends with him first, by continuing to strike up conversations with him over time. Keep talking to him every time you see him, especially if he seems interested!\\nAsk the guy to hang out with you. You don't have to hang out alone with him. Invite him out with a group of your friends, for instance. You could all go to the movies, to the park, or to the coffee shop. Spending time with him helps you get to know each other!\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"Hey, we're going to get ice cream this afternoon. Want to come?\\\"\\n2-2. Show him you like him.\\nLittle things can help you say you like the guy. For instance, making eye contact, smiling at him, and touching his arm while talking to him all subtly let him know that you like him as more than a friend!\\nYou can also give him compliments, bring him small gifts, or try to cheer him up when he's down.\\n2-3. Gather your confidence\\nIt can be a little scary to tell a guy you like him. That's perfectly normal! Tell yourself that you can do it! Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your good qualities and then give asking him your question a practice run.\\nIf you're running low on confidence, try asking your friends to encourage you. It can be good to hear what's good about you from someone else!\\n2-4. Remind yourself that, no matter what happens, it's not the end of the world.\\nIf you're worried about talking to the guy, think about the possible outcomes. He might say he likes you! Alternatively, he might say he likes you just as a friend. He might even say he doesn't like you. Of course that hurts! But remind yourself, the world won't end. He may not like you but someone will! You just have to be patient.\\nIf you don't get the response you're looking for, it's okay to feel a little blue. Try to find a way to cheer yourself up. Go watch a funny movie or hang out with a friend, for instance.\\n3. Asking the Question\\n3-1. Try asking the guy in person if you're feeling brave.\\nAsking the guy in person lets you get it over with quickly. Plus, you'll be able to see what his body language is saying. When you're having a conversation with him, wait for a pause. Then, pluck up the courage and ask him. Be as specific as you can!\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"John, I've been meaning to ask you... Do you like me as more than a friend?\\\"\\nYou could also say, \\\"John, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just say it: Do you want to be more than just friends?\\\"\\n3-2. Text him if you can't bring yourself to do it in person.\\nIt can be hard to confess your feelings in person, and in this instance, it's okay to ask him over text. It gives both of you a chance to think about what's being said and make thoughtful responses.\\nFor instance, you could write, \\\"Hi, we've been talking for a while, and I just wanted to ask you, do you like me? As more than a friend?\\\"\\n3-3. Tell the guy it's okay if he doesn't like you.\\nWhen you're asking, you can say it's okay either way, whether he likes you or not. You just want to know the truth. That way, it helps him express his feelings honestly.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"It's fine if you don't like me back. I completely understand. I just want to clear the air.\\\"\\n3-4. Confess your own feelings.\\nIf you're asking because you like the guy, let him know that. If you're asking because you think things are getting more serious and you want to be friends, tell him that, instead. It's important to be honest about your feelings.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"I want to know because I like you.\\\"\\nOn the other hand, you could say, \\\"I feel like maybe you do like me, which is really nice, but I just want to be friends.\\\"\\nTips\\nWhen making eye-contact, give him a genuine smile. Smiles connect people!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"So there's a guy in your life who you think might like you. Of course, you want to learn more so you know what to do next! If you haven't had any serious conversations with the guy, try taking steps to break the ice. Then, work up your courage and ask him what he thinks! You may or may not get the answer you want but at least you'll know.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Breaking the Ice If You Haven't Met\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give the guy a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and even if you haven't said much else to him, a compliment can come off as casual if you do it right. Pick something you notice about his outfit, or try complimenting his smarts. Just give him a quick compliment to let him know you've noticed him.\\nFor example, you could say, \\\"Hey, great job answering that question from the teacher! It was a hard one,\\\" \\\"That's a cool backpack!\\\" or \\\"You have great taste in music!\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make a comment about something you have in common.\", \"描述\": \"That could be a class you're taking together or just something you see in the room. The goal is to get him talking to you!\\nFor instance, you could say, \\\"That test in math was sure hard, wasn't it?\\\" or \\\"Hey, it sure is crowded in here, isn't it?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get him to do something small for you.\", \"描述\": \"Asking someone for a favor makes them give a little bit of themselves to you. In turn, they tend to like you more. The favor doesn't have to be anything big. It can be as simple as \\\"Can you pass me the salt, please?\\\"\\nYou could also try \\\"Would you grab me a napkin?\\\" or \\\"Can you keep an eye on my stuff for a second while I go to the bathroom?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Buy the guy's coffee for him.\", \"描述\": \"If you're going on a coffee run, ask if he wants anything. If you're a little nervous, you could offer coffee to several people. Either way, don't take his money for the coffee, and he'll probably return the favor.\\nIt doesn't have to be coffee! It could be a soda, candy, or even something like a magazine.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Quiz the guy about himself.\", \"描述\": \"People like talking about themselves, so open a conversation by asking him a question or two. It can be about anything involving him, from a light question to a slightly more serious one.\\nFor instance, you could ask, \\\"Have you studied for that test? It looks hard,\\\" \\\"Why are you here this late in the afternoon?\\\" or \\\"Where did you get that awesome binder?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Talk about yourself, too.\", \"描述\": \"If the guy turns the questions on you, be willing to give him some answers. You can't sustain a whole conversation with just questions about him! Answer him honestly, and then give him another question in return.\\nFor instance, if he asks you what you like about school, you could say, \\\"My favorite subject is science! I love doing experiments and predicting the outcome. What's your favorite subject?\\\"\\nIf he asks about your interests, you might say, \\\"I love reading and going to the movies. I just love getting lost in a story! Painting is also fun. I love art class! What do you like?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Working up to Asking the Guy\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make friends first.\", \"描述\": \"If you tell a guy you like him out of the blue, it may catch him off guard. Try making friends with him first, by continuing to strike up conversations with him over time. Keep talking to him every time you see him, especially if he seems interested!\\nAsk the guy to hang out with you. You don't have to hang out alone with him. Invite him out with a group of your friends, for instance. You could all go to the movies, to the park, or to the coffee shop. Spending time with him helps you get to know each other!\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"Hey, we're going to get ice cream this afternoon. Want to come?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show him you like him.\", \"描述\": \"Little things can help you say you like the guy. For instance, making eye contact, smiling at him, and touching his arm while talking to him all subtly let him know that you like him as more than a friend!\\nYou can also give him compliments, bring him small gifts, or try to cheer him up when he's down.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Gather your confidence\", \"描述\": \"It can be a little scary to tell a guy you like him. That's perfectly normal! Tell yourself that you can do it! Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your good qualities and then give asking him your question a practice run.\\nIf you're running low on confidence, try asking your friends to encourage you. It can be good to hear what's good about you from someone else!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remind yourself that, no matter what happens, it's not the end of the world.\", \"描述\": \"If you're worried about talking to the guy, think about the possible outcomes. He might say he likes you! Alternatively, he might say he likes you just as a friend. He might even say he doesn't like you. Of course that hurts! But remind yourself, the world won't end. He may not like you but someone will! You just have to be patient.\\nIf you don't get the response you're looking for, it's okay to feel a little blue. Try to find a way to cheer yourself up. Go watch a funny movie or hang out with a friend, for instance.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try asking the guy in person if you're feeling brave.\", \"描述\": \"Asking the guy in person lets you get it over with quickly. Plus, you'll be able to see what his body language is saying. When you're having a conversation with him, wait for a pause. Then, pluck up the courage and ask him. Be as specific as you can!\\nFor example, you might say, \\\"John, I've been meaning to ask you... Do you like me as more than a friend?\\\"\\nYou could also say, \\\"John, I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just say it: Do you want to be more than just friends?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Text him if you can't bring yourself to do it in person.\", \"描述\": \"It can be hard to confess your feelings in person, and in this instance, it's okay to ask him over text. It gives both of you a chance to think about what's being said and make thoughtful responses.\\nFor instance, you could write, \\\"Hi, we've been talking for a while, and I just wanted to ask you, do you like me? As more than a friend?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell the guy it's okay if he doesn't like you.\", \"描述\": \"When you're asking, you can say it's okay either way, whether he likes you or not. You just want to know the truth. That way, it helps him express his feelings honestly.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"It's fine if you don't like me back. I completely understand. I just want to clear the air.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Confess your own feelings.\", \"描述\": \"If you're asking because you like the guy, let him know that. If you're asking because you think things are getting more serious and you want to be friends, tell him that, instead. It's important to be honest about your feelings.\\nFor instance, you might say, \\\"I want to know because I like you.\\\"\\nOn the other hand, you could say, \\\"I feel like maybe you do like me, which is really nice, but I just want to be friends.\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"When making eye-contact, give him a genuine smile. Smiles connect people!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,576 | How to Ask a Guy if We're Dating Exclusively: 11 Tips | 1. Let the relationship move at its own pace.
Every relationship is different and operates on its own timeline.
Let go of your own expectations for when exactly a partnership should transition from casual to committed. Friends and family may have their own ideas. But the truth is, your feelings will tell you when it's in your best interest to initiate a conversation—so, take time to reflect.
Does thinking about a committed relationship with this person excite you?
Is not knowing where you stand with this person causing you stress or worry?
Are you ready to receive an answer from him, whether or not it’s the answer you want?
2. Talk about your relationship status in person.
This is an important conversation, so it should happen face to face.
Choose a time and place that he'll feel comfortable with. Or, if you want to keep things casual, don’t officially plan the conversation. Just make sure that when you open up the discussion, it's in person.
“Hey, I wanted to chat with you about something. Want to meet at mine tonight? I can make that spaghetti you love.”
Or, wait until the two of you are casually hanging out together in a quiet, safe space. For instance, start the conversation when you're in the living room, hanging out on the couch.
3. Use a casual excuse to start a conversation about exclusivity.
You may feel more comfortable opening the conversation subtly.
In that case, choose an excuse that allows you to ask him if you’re exclusive in an offhand way. Throw this opener into conversation casually. Depending on how clear you are, this may or may not lead to a full discussion—but either way, it can give you an idea about how he’s feeling.
“So funny, my mom asked if I was dating anyone exclusively last week. So hard to explain modern dating norms to a parent, haha.”
“Hey, I was thinking. We should talk about whether or not we’re being safe. I don’t mean to pry, but are you having sex with anyone else? I need to know for my own health.”
4. Show that you take the conversation seriously.
Joking may harm your ability to get the answers you need.
When you get nervous, it can feel so tempting to diffuse tension with a joke or two. That's totally normal! And while it's okay to be friendly, to have a successful exclusivity talk, try your best not to hide behind jokes. Set the right tone for an open discussion. Instead of joking when you feel uncomfortable, just be honest.
"Honestly...I'm just going to say it. I'm feeling pretty nervous right now."
5. Ask him directly if you two are exclusive.
A straightforward conversation can give you the answers you need.
Keep in mind that regardless of what he says, you're going after what you want—and that's amazing. Be direct and ask him exactly what you'd like to know. If you feel comfortable, explain what feelings have led to your desire for this conversation.
“Hey, I just want you to know that I really care about you. Are we dating? Are you my boyfriend?”
“I want to be honest with you. I’ve been curious about whether or not we’re exclusive. Are you dating other people?”
6. Let him know that you don't want him to feel pressured.
You're more likely to get an honest answer if he feels comfortable.
Explain to your guy that even though this is a serious conversation, you don't want him to feel pressured or overwhelmed. Let him know that whatever he's feeling, you'll accept it.
"I don't want you to feel pressured or anything. We're just two people talking. I promise not to judge you. Whatever your feelings are, I'll accept them."
7. Ask him to be honest.
To understand if you two have a future, he needs to be truthful.
Explain that even if he is worried about hurting your feelings, you still expect him to be honest. Clarify that if he's not interested in exclusivity, that's okay. But if he lies to spare your feelings, that wouldn't be okay with you.
"I know it might be hard, but I really need you to tell me the truth. Even if you don't want what I want, I'll be happier in the long run if you're honest with me."
8. Encourage him to be straightforward.
When he gets nervous, he may hide behind vague answers.
If he's worried about hurting you or isn't great at communicating his needs and desires, he may give you unclear answers—or answers he hasn't thought through fully yet. Explain that you need him to explain his desires clearly. If he needs time to think before he can give you a direct answer, then tell him you can wait.
"I get that you really enjoy hanging out with me and don't want to lose me, but that doesn't answer my question about whether or not you want exclusivity."
"Speaking honestly about your feelings can be so hard, but I still really need that from you right now."
"If you need time to think, that's okay. But eventually, I'm going to need a straightforward answer from you. That's really important to me."
9. Explain your expectations for the relationship.
Express your needs so you two can decide how to proceed.
First, communicate your eventual hopes for the relationship. Then, tell him what you can and can't accept at this stage in your relationship. Let him know that you're happy to answer any questions he may have.
“I would love to be exclusive with you. I want to feel secure in our relationship and excited about a future together."
“I don't need that right this second, but I do need to know that you're interested in the same thing eventually. I'd like for us to keep discussing it, too."
“Let me know if you have any questions for me. I'm an open book! I'll walk you through my thought process."
10. Find a compromise if you're not on the same page.
You may be able to continue dating—even if he's not ready for exclusivity yet.
If he's not interested in exclusivity right now, ask yourself what you are and are not comfortable with in your relationship. Then, explain your needs to him. Finally, if there's a potential compromise, make a plan for how to proceed together.
Would you be comfortable continuing to see him when he's not sure about exclusivity just yet? How long would you be content waiting?
"For now, I'd like to keep seeing you. But I do need to know we'll discuss this again. We would have to have a solid plan going forward."
"Why don't we plan to bring back this discussion in a month. Would you feel comfortable with that?"
11. Move on if he's not willing to meet your needs.
If he can’t give you what you want, then it may be time to walk away.
Ask him directly, communicate your needs, and listen to how he feels. If it becomes clear that he can't give you what you want, then choose the path that will make you happiest in the long run. Walk away.
Choose whatever feels best to you. You deserve to have your needs met in your relationship!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Let the relationship move at its own pace.\\nEvery relationship is different and operates on its own timeline.\\nLet go of your own expectations for when exactly a partnership should transition from casual to committed. Friends and family may have their own ideas. But the truth is, your feelings will tell you when it's in your best interest to initiate a conversation—so, take time to reflect.\\nDoes thinking about a committed relationship with this person excite you?\\nIs not knowing where you stand with this person causing you stress or worry?\\nAre you ready to receive an answer from him, whether or not it’s the answer you want?\\n2. Talk about your relationship status in person.\\nThis is an important conversation, so it should happen face to face.\\nChoose a time and place that he'll feel comfortable with. Or, if you want to keep things casual, don’t officially plan the conversation. Just make sure that when you open up the discussion, it's in person.\\n“Hey, I wanted to chat with you about something. Want to meet at mine tonight? I can make that spaghetti you love.”\\nOr, wait until the two of you are casually hanging out together in a quiet, safe space. For instance, start the conversation when you're in the living room, hanging out on the couch.\\n3. Use a casual excuse to start a conversation about exclusivity.\\nYou may feel more comfortable opening the conversation subtly.\\nIn that case, choose an excuse that allows you to ask him if you’re exclusive in an offhand way. Throw this opener into conversation casually. Depending on how clear you are, this may or may not lead to a full discussion—but either way, it can give you an idea about how he’s feeling.\\n“So funny, my mom asked if I was dating anyone exclusively last week. So hard to explain modern dating norms to a parent, haha.”\\n“Hey, I was thinking. We should talk about whether or not we’re being safe. I don’t mean to pry, but are you having sex with anyone else? I need to know for my own health.”\\n4. Show that you take the conversation seriously.\\nJoking may harm your ability to get the answers you need.\\nWhen you get nervous, it can feel so tempting to diffuse tension with a joke or two. That's totally normal! And while it's okay to be friendly, to have a successful exclusivity talk, try your best not to hide behind jokes. Set the right tone for an open discussion. Instead of joking when you feel uncomfortable, just be honest.\\n\\\"Honestly...I'm just going to say it. I'm feeling pretty nervous right now.\\\"\\n5. Ask him directly if you two are exclusive.\\nA straightforward conversation can give you the answers you need.\\nKeep in mind that regardless of what he says, you're going after what you want—and that's amazing. Be direct and ask him exactly what you'd like to know. If you feel comfortable, explain what feelings have led to your desire for this conversation.\\n“Hey, I just want you to know that I really care about you. Are we dating? Are you my boyfriend?”\\n“I want to be honest with you. I’ve been curious about whether or not we’re exclusive. Are you dating other people?”\\n6. Let him know that you don't want him to feel pressured.\\nYou're more likely to get an honest answer if he feels comfortable.\\nExplain to your guy that even though this is a serious conversation, you don't want him to feel pressured or overwhelmed. Let him know that whatever he's feeling, you'll accept it.\\n\\\"I don't want you to feel pressured or anything. We're just two people talking. I promise not to judge you. Whatever your feelings are, I'll accept them.\\\"\\n7. Ask him to be honest.\\nTo understand if you two have a future, he needs to be truthful.\\nExplain that even if he is worried about hurting your feelings, you still expect him to be honest. Clarify that if he's not interested in exclusivity, that's okay. But if he lies to spare your feelings, that wouldn't be okay with you.\\n\\\"I know it might be hard, but I really need you to tell me the truth. Even if you don't want what I want, I'll be happier in the long run if you're honest with me.\\\"\\n8. Encourage him to be straightforward.\\nWhen he gets nervous, he may hide behind vague answers.\\nIf he's worried about hurting you or isn't great at communicating his needs and desires, he may give you unclear answers—or answers he hasn't thought through fully yet. Explain that you need him to explain his desires clearly. If he needs time to think before he can give you a direct answer, then tell him you can wait.\\n\\\"I get that you really enjoy hanging out with me and don't want to lose me, but that doesn't answer my question about whether or not you want exclusivity.\\\"\\n\\\"Speaking honestly about your feelings can be so hard, but I still really need that from you right now.\\\"\\n\\\"If you need time to think, that's okay. But eventually, I'm going to need a straightforward answer from you. That's really important to me.\\\"\\n9. Explain your expectations for the relationship.\\nExpress your needs so you two can decide how to proceed.\\nFirst, communicate your eventual hopes for the relationship. Then, tell him what you can and can't accept at this stage in your relationship. Let him know that you're happy to answer any questions he may have.\\n“I would love to be exclusive with you. I want to feel secure in our relationship and excited about a future together.\\\"\\n“I don't need that right this second, but I do need to know that you're interested in the same thing eventually. I'd like for us to keep discussing it, too.\\\"\\n“Let me know if you have any questions for me. I'm an open book! I'll walk you through my thought process.\\\"\\n10. Find a compromise if you're not on the same page.\\nYou may be able to continue dating—even if he's not ready for exclusivity yet.\\nIf he's not interested in exclusivity right now, ask yourself what you are and are not comfortable with in your relationship. Then, explain your needs to him. Finally, if there's a potential compromise, make a plan for how to proceed together.\\nWould you be comfortable continuing to see him when he's not sure about exclusivity just yet? How long would you be content waiting?\\n\\\"For now, I'd like to keep seeing you. But I do need to know we'll discuss this again. We would have to have a solid plan going forward.\\\"\\n\\\"Why don't we plan to bring back this discussion in a month. Would you feel comfortable with that?\\\"\\n11. Move on if he's not willing to meet your needs.\\nIf he can’t give you what you want, then it may be time to walk away.\\nAsk him directly, communicate your needs, and listen to how he feels. If it becomes clear that he can't give you what you want, then choose the path that will make you happiest in the long run. Walk away. \\nChoose whatever feels best to you. You deserve to have your needs met in your relationship!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You've been seeing a guy you really like, you two act like a couple together, but at the end of the day, you don't know where you stand. The exclusivity talk may sound nerve-wracking—but it doesn't have to be! By having the discussion, you'll finally get the clarity you need. We've pulled together the very best tips for how to have the exclusivity talk. For everything you need to know, read on.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let the relationship move at its own pace.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Every relationship is different and operates on its own timeline.\", \"描述\": \"Let go of your own expectations for when exactly a partnership should transition from casual to committed. Friends and family may have their own ideas. But the truth is, your feelings will tell you when it's in your best interest to initiate a conversation—so, take time to reflect.\\nDoes thinking about a committed relationship with this person excite you?\\nIs not knowing where you stand with this person causing you stress or worry?\\nAre you ready to receive an answer from him, whether or not it’s the answer you want?\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about your relationship status in person.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This is an important conversation, so it should happen face to face.\", \"描述\": \"Choose a time and place that he'll feel comfortable with. Or, if you want to keep things casual, don’t officially plan the conversation. Just make sure that when you open up the discussion, it's in person.\\n“Hey, I wanted to chat with you about something. Want to meet at mine tonight? I can make that spaghetti you love.”\\nOr, wait until the two of you are casually hanging out together in a quiet, safe space. For instance, start the conversation when you're in the living room, hanging out on the couch.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use a casual excuse to start a conversation about exclusivity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You may feel more comfortable opening the conversation subtly.\", \"描述\": \"In that case, choose an excuse that allows you to ask him if you’re exclusive in an offhand way. Throw this opener into conversation casually. Depending on how clear you are, this may or may not lead to a full discussion—but either way, it can give you an idea about how he’s feeling.\\n“So funny, my mom asked if I was dating anyone exclusively last week. So hard to explain modern dating norms to a parent, haha.”\\n“Hey, I was thinking. We should talk about whether or not we’re being safe. I don’t mean to pry, but are you having sex with anyone else? I need to know for my own health.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Show that you take the conversation seriously.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Joking may harm your ability to get the answers you need.\", \"描述\": \"When you get nervous, it can feel so tempting to diffuse tension with a joke or two. That's totally normal! And while it's okay to be friendly, to have a successful exclusivity talk, try your best not to hide behind jokes. Set the right tone for an open discussion. Instead of joking when you feel uncomfortable, just be honest.\\n\\\"Honestly...I'm just going to say it. I'm feeling pretty nervous right now.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask him directly if you two are exclusive.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A straightforward conversation can give you the answers you need.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that regardless of what he says, you're going after what you want—and that's amazing. Be direct and ask him exactly what you'd like to know. If you feel comfortable, explain what feelings have led to your desire for this conversation.\\n“Hey, I just want you to know that I really care about you. Are we dating? Are you my boyfriend?”\\n“I want to be honest with you. I’ve been curious about whether or not we’re exclusive. Are you dating other people?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Let him know that you don't want him to feel pressured.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You're more likely to get an honest answer if he feels comfortable.\", \"描述\": \"Explain to your guy that even though this is a serious conversation, you don't want him to feel pressured or overwhelmed. Let him know that whatever he's feeling, you'll accept it.\\n\\\"I don't want you to feel pressured or anything. We're just two people talking. I promise not to judge you. Whatever your feelings are, I'll accept them.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask him to be honest.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"To understand if you two have a future, he needs to be truthful.\", \"描述\": \"Explain that even if he is worried about hurting your feelings, you still expect him to be honest. Clarify that if he's not interested in exclusivity, that's okay. But if he lies to spare your feelings, that wouldn't be okay with you.\\n\\\"I know it might be hard, but I really need you to tell me the truth. Even if you don't want what I want, I'll be happier in the long run if you're honest with me.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Encourage him to be straightforward.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When he gets nervous, he may hide behind vague answers.\", \"描述\": \"If he's worried about hurting you or isn't great at communicating his needs and desires, he may give you unclear answers—or answers he hasn't thought through fully yet. Explain that you need him to explain his desires clearly. If he needs time to think before he can give you a direct answer, then tell him you can wait.\\n\\\"I get that you really enjoy hanging out with me and don't want to lose me, but that doesn't answer my question about whether or not you want exclusivity.\\\"\\n\\\"Speaking honestly about your feelings can be so hard, but I still really need that from you right now.\\\"\\n\\\"If you need time to think, that's okay. But eventually, I'm going to need a straightforward answer from you. That's really important to me.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Explain your expectations for the relationship.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Express your needs so you two can decide how to proceed.\", \"描述\": \"First, communicate your eventual hopes for the relationship. Then, tell him what you can and can't accept at this stage in your relationship. Let him know that you're happy to answer any questions he may have.\\n“I would love to be exclusive with you. I want to feel secure in our relationship and excited about a future together.\\\"\\n“I don't need that right this second, but I do need to know that you're interested in the same thing eventually. I'd like for us to keep discussing it, too.\\\"\\n“Let me know if you have any questions for me. I'm an open book! I'll walk you through my thought process.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Find a compromise if you're not on the same page.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You may be able to continue dating—even if he's not ready for exclusivity yet.\", \"描述\": \"If he's not interested in exclusivity right now, ask yourself what you are and are not comfortable with in your relationship. Then, explain your needs to him. Finally, if there's a potential compromise, make a plan for how to proceed together.\\nWould you be comfortable continuing to see him when he's not sure about exclusivity just yet? How long would you be content waiting?\\n\\\"For now, I'd like to keep seeing you. But I do need to know we'll discuss this again. We would have to have a solid plan going forward.\\\"\\n\\\"Why don't we plan to bring back this discussion in a month. Would you feel comfortable with that?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Move on if he's not willing to meet your needs.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he can’t give you what you want, then it may be time to walk away.\", \"描述\": \"Ask him directly, communicate your needs, and listen to how he feels. If it becomes clear that he can't give you what you want, then choose the path that will make you happiest in the long run. Walk away. \\nChoose whatever feels best to you. You deserve to have your needs met in your relationship!\"}]}]}}",
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2,577 | How to Ask a Guy out (if You're a Girl) | 1. Is it okay to ask a guy out first?
No matter who you are, you should feel comfortable asking your crush out.
The truth is, there's no right or wrong person to make the first move. If you're a girl asking out a guy, that's amazing! He'll probably love how confident you are, and that you're not afraid to go after what you want. If anyone tries to tell you that a girl shouldn't ask a guy out first, know that they're totally wrong. This is the 21st century; you should feel empowered to take your dating future into your own hands.
2. Asking Him Out
2-1. Be confident.
When you get ready to ask the guy out, have confidence in yourself. It may seem scary, but don't let fear stop you from going through with it. Without confidence, you may end up giving in to insecurities. Remember, you are awesome and deserve nice things, so keep telling yourself that you can do this!
Don't be scared that the guy will not like it if you ask him out. Most guys today are okay with girls asking them out, and if they aren't, they are probably not the guy for you!
2-2. Look nice but casual.
When you ask him out, make sure you look nice, but not too nice. You don't want to dress up in clothes you don't normally wear to ask him out. Wear clothes similar to what you usually wear when you see him, and keep your makeup and hair like you normally do, too. Don't try to do something different to impress him. Just be your normal, wonderful self!
For example, don't put on a dress, fake eyelashes, and tons of makeup if this isn't what you normally wear. This may make you seem too intense or desperate.
2-3. Keep it low-key.
When you ask him out on a date, make sure to keep it low stakes and casual. Remember, this is a first date and you are still getting to know this guy, just as he's getting to know you. Keeping it casual can put you both at ease and helps you avoid looking desperate or too intense.
Try asking him for a casual meal. Say, “Would you like to go get coffee?” or “Would you like to grab lunch with me?”
2-4. Be specific when suggesting a date.
When asking your guy out on a date, try to have a specific date in mind. Saying something like “We should hang out” or “Let's do something sometime” is non-committal and may not lead anywhere. Instead, ask him out to a specific activity so it's clear that you two will be on a date.
For example, you may want to say, “Let's grab a smoothie after the gym” or “Let's go to trivia at the local pizza place tomorrow.”
2-5. Avoid asking him out in front of others.
Taking the plunge around others, especially his friends, may result in a rejection, even if he is interested in you. Wait until the two of your are alone to ask him out.
If he's around his friends, wait until the two of you are apart from the group. Start talking to him casually so you don't bombard him with the question out of the blue.
2-6. Ask the guy out if you can handle a rejection.
Taking the step to ask a guy out puts you in a vulnerable position. You have to be comfortable with hearing “no” because that is always a risk when asking someone out. If you can brush off a guy turning you down, ask out whichever guys you want.
Some people cannot handle romantic rejection. If you think it will hurt you too much to hear “no,” then you may want to wait for him to ask you out.
3. Finding Other Ways to Ask Him Out
3-1. Suggest a casual outing.
If you don't want to just obviously ask the guy on a date, you can suggest hanging out instead. Ask the guy about his interests or something fun he's done recently. Then, you can suggest that the two of you go do something like that during the upcoming weekend.
For example, if the guy says he likes baseball, you can say, “We should catch the game this weekend!” or “I haven't been to the batting cages in forever. We should go on Friday!”
You could also wait for him to mention something he likes doing, like watching rugby or playing tennis. When he talks about this, say something like "You'll have to invite me along sometime!"
You could always suggest a date over text, too.
3-2. Invite him out with your friends.
If you are too nervous to ask him out on a solo date, try inviting him to a group outing. Get a bunch of your friends together and do something fun and low-key where you can talk and engage with him.
For example, you can ask him out to dinner, for drinks, or to a movie. You can say, “We're going to grab dinner tomorrow night. You should come with us!”
3-3. Buy him a drink.
If you are out with friends and see a cute guy, tell the bartender to send him a beer (or a soda, if you're underage!). This allows him to know you're interested and puts the ball in his court to make the next move.
If he isn't interested, you haven't wasted too much time and took a chance. This kind of move can be low stakes and easy, especially if you aren't good with approaching guys.
4. Getting to Know Him First
4-1. Start a conversation with him.
Getting to know the guy before asking him out is important. This helps you figure out if you two have anything in common and if he is interested in you. Talking to him can show that you are confident and have interesting things to talk about. If he listens and asks questions or responds, odds are he's interested in you, too.
Try starting a conversation about something fun you did this week, like your amazing hike or a tennis game you went to.
Sometimes guys aren't sure if you're single, interested, or just want friendship. Talking to him can help let him know you're interested.
Above all, focus on talking to him before you worry about getting asked out.
4-2. Flirt with him
One of the best ways to gauge a guy's interest is to flirt with him. Do small things to flirt, like touching his arm or letting him touch your arm. Smile and laugh with him and let him do the same. Make sure to keep eye contact and your body language open.
Using humor can be a good way to flirt with the guy you're interested in. Make small jokes and keep it light hearted.
4-3. Wait for him to ask.
If you want to wait for him to ask before you ask him out, give it a few encounters. Talk to him, flirt, and show that you are interested in him. If he is interested, most guys will go on and ask you out somehow.
Other guys may be shy, or maybe he just isn't good at reading signals. If he likes being around you and talking to you, though it's a good indication that he is interested.
4-4. Ask him out if you think he's going to say yes.
Assess the situation and determine if you feel comfortable asking the guy out. You don't want to ask out a guy who isn't interested, so think about your interactions with him. If you're fairly confident he will say yes, go ahead and ask him.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Is it okay to ask a guy out first?\\nNo matter who you are, you should feel comfortable asking your crush out.\\nThe truth is, there's no right or wrong person to make the first move. If you're a girl asking out a guy, that's amazing! He'll probably love how confident you are, and that you're not afraid to go after what you want. If anyone tries to tell you that a girl shouldn't ask a guy out first, know that they're totally wrong. This is the 21st century; you should feel empowered to take your dating future into your own hands.\\n2. Asking Him Out\\n2-1. Be confident.\\nWhen you get ready to ask the guy out, have confidence in yourself. It may seem scary, but don't let fear stop you from going through with it. Without confidence, you may end up giving in to insecurities. Remember, you are awesome and deserve nice things, so keep telling yourself that you can do this!\\nDon't be scared that the guy will not like it if you ask him out. Most guys today are okay with girls asking them out, and if they aren't, they are probably not the guy for you!\\n2-2. Look nice but casual.\\nWhen you ask him out, make sure you look nice, but not too nice. You don't want to dress up in clothes you don't normally wear to ask him out. Wear clothes similar to what you usually wear when you see him, and keep your makeup and hair like you normally do, too. Don't try to do something different to impress him. Just be your normal, wonderful self!\\nFor example, don't put on a dress, fake eyelashes, and tons of makeup if this isn't what you normally wear. This may make you seem too intense or desperate.\\n2-3. Keep it low-key.\\nWhen you ask him out on a date, make sure to keep it low stakes and casual. Remember, this is a first date and you are still getting to know this guy, just as he's getting to know you. Keeping it casual can put you both at ease and helps you avoid looking desperate or too intense.\\nTry asking him for a casual meal. Say, “Would you like to go get coffee?” or “Would you like to grab lunch with me?”\\n2-4. Be specific when suggesting a date.\\nWhen asking your guy out on a date, try to have a specific date in mind. Saying something like “We should hang out” or “Let's do something sometime” is non-committal and may not lead anywhere. Instead, ask him out to a specific activity so it's clear that you two will be on a date.\\nFor example, you may want to say, “Let's grab a smoothie after the gym” or “Let's go to trivia at the local pizza place tomorrow.”\\n2-5. Avoid asking him out in front of others.\\nTaking the plunge around others, especially his friends, may result in a rejection, even if he is interested in you. Wait until the two of your are alone to ask him out.\\nIf he's around his friends, wait until the two of you are apart from the group. Start talking to him casually so you don't bombard him with the question out of the blue.\\n2-6. Ask the guy out if you can handle a rejection.\\nTaking the step to ask a guy out puts you in a vulnerable position. You have to be comfortable with hearing “no” because that is always a risk when asking someone out. If you can brush off a guy turning you down, ask out whichever guys you want.\\nSome people cannot handle romantic rejection. If you think it will hurt you too much to hear “no,” then you may want to wait for him to ask you out.\\n3. Finding Other Ways to Ask Him Out\\n3-1. Suggest a casual outing.\\nIf you don't want to just obviously ask the guy on a date, you can suggest hanging out instead. Ask the guy about his interests or something fun he's done recently. Then, you can suggest that the two of you go do something like that during the upcoming weekend.\\nFor example, if the guy says he likes baseball, you can say, “We should catch the game this weekend!” or “I haven't been to the batting cages in forever. We should go on Friday!”\\nYou could also wait for him to mention something he likes doing, like watching rugby or playing tennis. When he talks about this, say something like \\\"You'll have to invite me along sometime!\\\"\\nYou could always suggest a date over text, too.\\n3-2. Invite him out with your friends.\\nIf you are too nervous to ask him out on a solo date, try inviting him to a group outing. Get a bunch of your friends together and do something fun and low-key where you can talk and engage with him.\\nFor example, you can ask him out to dinner, for drinks, or to a movie. You can say, “We're going to grab dinner tomorrow night. You should come with us!”\\n3-3. Buy him a drink.\\nIf you are out with friends and see a cute guy, tell the bartender to send him a beer (or a soda, if you're underage!). This allows him to know you're interested and puts the ball in his court to make the next move.\\nIf he isn't interested, you haven't wasted too much time and took a chance. This kind of move can be low stakes and easy, especially if you aren't good with approaching guys.\\n4. Getting to Know Him First\\n4-1. Start a conversation with him.\\nGetting to know the guy before asking him out is important. This helps you figure out if you two have anything in common and if he is interested in you. Talking to him can show that you are confident and have interesting things to talk about. If he listens and asks questions or responds, odds are he's interested in you, too.\\nTry starting a conversation about something fun you did this week, like your amazing hike or a tennis game you went to.\\nSometimes guys aren't sure if you're single, interested, or just want friendship. Talking to him can help let him know you're interested.\\nAbove all, focus on talking to him before you worry about getting asked out.\\n4-2. Flirt with him\\nOne of the best ways to gauge a guy's interest is to flirt with him. Do small things to flirt, like touching his arm or letting him touch your arm. Smile and laugh with him and let him do the same. Make sure to keep eye contact and your body language open.\\nUsing humor can be a good way to flirt with the guy you're interested in. Make small jokes and keep it light hearted.\\n4-3. Wait for him to ask.\\nIf you want to wait for him to ask before you ask him out, give it a few encounters. Talk to him, flirt, and show that you are interested in him. If he is interested, most guys will go on and ask you out somehow.\\nOther guys may be shy, or maybe he just isn't good at reading signals. If he likes being around you and talking to you, though it's a good indication that he is interested.\\n4-4. Ask him out if you think he's going to say yes.\\nAssess the situation and determine if you feel comfortable asking the guy out. You don't want to ask out a guy who isn't interested, so think about your interactions with him. If you're fairly confident he will say yes, go ahead and ask him.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You've been flirting for weeks and you're pretty sure he's into you, but he still hasn't asked you out. You may think you have to keep waiting around for him to get it together and ask you out, but you don't have to wait. It's totally fine for a girl to ask a guy out first (most guys love it!). You can take the initiative and ask him out.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Is it okay to ask a guy out first?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"No matter who you are, you should feel comfortable asking your crush out.\", \"描述\": \"The truth is, there's no right or wrong person to make the first move. If you're a girl asking out a guy, that's amazing! He'll probably love how confident you are, and that you're not afraid to go after what you want. If anyone tries to tell you that a girl shouldn't ask a guy out first, know that they're totally wrong. This is the 21st century; you should feel empowered to take your dating future into your own hands.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Him Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be confident.\", \"描述\": \"When you get ready to ask the guy out, have confidence in yourself. It may seem scary, but don't let fear stop you from going through with it. Without confidence, you may end up giving in to insecurities. Remember, you are awesome and deserve nice things, so keep telling yourself that you can do this!\\nDon't be scared that the guy will not like it if you ask him out. Most guys today are okay with girls asking them out, and if they aren't, they are probably not the guy for you!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Look nice but casual.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask him out, make sure you look nice, but not too nice. You don't want to dress up in clothes you don't normally wear to ask him out. Wear clothes similar to what you usually wear when you see him, and keep your makeup and hair like you normally do, too. Don't try to do something different to impress him. Just be your normal, wonderful self!\\nFor example, don't put on a dress, fake eyelashes, and tons of makeup if this isn't what you normally wear. This may make you seem too intense or desperate.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Keep it low-key.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask him out on a date, make sure to keep it low stakes and casual. Remember, this is a first date and you are still getting to know this guy, just as he's getting to know you. Keeping it casual can put you both at ease and helps you avoid looking desperate or too intense.\\nTry asking him for a casual meal. Say, “Would you like to go get coffee?” or “Would you like to grab lunch with me?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be specific when suggesting a date.\", \"描述\": \"When asking your guy out on a date, try to have a specific date in mind. Saying something like “We should hang out” or “Let's do something sometime” is non-committal and may not lead anywhere. Instead, ask him out to a specific activity so it's clear that you two will be on a date.\\nFor example, you may want to say, “Let's grab a smoothie after the gym” or “Let's go to trivia at the local pizza place tomorrow.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking him out in front of others.\", \"描述\": \"Taking the plunge around others, especially his friends, may result in a rejection, even if he is interested in you. Wait until the two of your are alone to ask him out.\\nIf he's around his friends, wait until the two of you are apart from the group. Start talking to him casually so you don't bombard him with the question out of the blue.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask the guy out if you can handle a rejection.\", \"描述\": \"Taking the step to ask a guy out puts you in a vulnerable position. You have to be comfortable with hearing “no” because that is always a risk when asking someone out. If you can brush off a guy turning you down, ask out whichever guys you want.\\nSome people cannot handle romantic rejection. If you think it will hurt you too much to hear “no,” then you may want to wait for him to ask you out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Finding Other Ways to Ask Him Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Suggest a casual outing.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't want to just obviously ask the guy on a date, you can suggest hanging out instead. Ask the guy about his interests or something fun he's done recently. Then, you can suggest that the two of you go do something like that during the upcoming weekend.\\nFor example, if the guy says he likes baseball, you can say, “We should catch the game this weekend!” or “I haven't been to the batting cages in forever. We should go on Friday!”\\nYou could also wait for him to mention something he likes doing, like watching rugby or playing tennis. When he talks about this, say something like \\\"You'll have to invite me along sometime!\\\"\\nYou could always suggest a date over text, too.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invite him out with your friends.\", \"描述\": \"If you are too nervous to ask him out on a solo date, try inviting him to a group outing. Get a bunch of your friends together and do something fun and low-key where you can talk and engage with him.\\nFor example, you can ask him out to dinner, for drinks, or to a movie. You can say, “We're going to grab dinner tomorrow night. You should come with us!”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Buy him a drink.\", \"描述\": \"If you are out with friends and see a cute guy, tell the bartender to send him a beer (or a soda, if you're underage!). This allows him to know you're interested and puts the ball in his court to make the next move.\\nIf he isn't interested, you haven't wasted too much time and took a chance. This kind of move can be low stakes and easy, especially if you aren't good with approaching guys.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Him First\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start a conversation with him.\", \"描述\": \"Getting to know the guy before asking him out is important. This helps you figure out if you two have anything in common and if he is interested in you. Talking to him can show that you are confident and have interesting things to talk about. If he listens and asks questions or responds, odds are he's interested in you, too.\\nTry starting a conversation about something fun you did this week, like your amazing hike or a tennis game you went to.\\nSometimes guys aren't sure if you're single, interested, or just want friendship. Talking to him can help let him know you're interested.\\nAbove all, focus on talking to him before you worry about getting asked out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Flirt with him\", \"描述\": \"One of the best ways to gauge a guy's interest is to flirt with him. Do small things to flirt, like touching his arm or letting him touch your arm. Smile and laugh with him and let him do the same. Make sure to keep eye contact and your body language open.\\nUsing humor can be a good way to flirt with the guy you're interested in. Make small jokes and keep it light hearted.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wait for him to ask.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to wait for him to ask before you ask him out, give it a few encounters. Talk to him, flirt, and show that you are interested in him. If he is interested, most guys will go on and ask you out somehow.\\nOther guys may be shy, or maybe he just isn't good at reading signals. If he likes being around you and talking to you, though it's a good indication that he is interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask him out if you think he's going to say yes.\", \"描述\": \"Assess the situation and determine if you feel comfortable asking the guy out. You don't want to ask out a guy who isn't interested, so think about your interactions with him. If you're fairly confident he will say yes, go ahead and ask him.\"}]}]}}",
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2,578 | How to Ask a Guy to Be Your Boyfriend | 1. Deciding If You Are Ready
1-1. Determine whether you’re ready to commit.
The decision to commit can be a tricky one. Whether or not you are ready for a committed, steady relationship can be determined by a number of factors. Every case is different, and you might have certain expectations for a relationship. Ask yourself:
How do I feel about him? Do I feel excited when we are together? Do I miss him when he is gone?
Can I handle the time commitment of a serious relationship right now? What type of relationship do I want?
Have we fought before? If so, how well did we handle it?
Does he respect me? Are there any red flags I am concerned about? Am I uncertain about his character? Do I trust him?
How do I feel about monogamy? Do I want an exclusive relationship with one person? If so, am I willing to be monogamous with this man? If not, are both parties open to a polyamorous relationship?
Am I doing this because he makes me happy? Or are other people pressuring me to have a boyfriend?
1-2. Take the length of your relationship into consideration.
Asking your guy to be your boyfriend too soon can scare him off if the feeling isn’t mutual, but waiting too long can create confusion and hurt feelings. Since all relationships are different, there’s no specific amount of time you should wait before asking. Trust your instinct. If the timing feels right, it might just be.
If you have just met the guy, you might want to go on a few dates before you ask him to be your boyfriend. You may not want to commit to someone you just met.
Many people ask a partner to become steady or exclusive after about six dates or one month.
Some people wait until they have dated for three months to have the talk.
If you have a long distance relationship, you may want to establish this talk sooner rather than later. This will help both parties understand what is expected even when you are far apart.
1-3. Identify whether the guy is interested.
You should have some indication about how the guy feels about you. The only way to be absolutely certain about his feelings is to ask him, but you can look for certain signs that might signal his feelings.
If a man refers to future plans, it might be a sign that he is planning on sticking around with you.
If he brags about you to people, especially to his friends, it might show that he is proud to be around you.
If he sends you texts asking how you are throughout the day, it may mean that he is thinking often about you.
If you see each other several times a week and hang out every weekend, it may be a sign that he is becoming more invested in you.
1-4. Prepare yourself for rejection.
While you’re hoping he agrees to be your boyfriend, keep in mind that he might say no. Your guy may not be ready for a serious relationship with you, or perhaps he doesn’t like using titles or labels to describe your relationship. Think about how you will respond to a rejection.
If you want a serious relationship with someone who will commit to you, you may have to part ways with this guy if he says no. This will allow you to find someone who wants a serious relationship as well.
If you are content with your relationship, you might decide to maintain your current status until he’s ready to become your boyfriend.
If you have deep feelings for this guy, you might have to decide whether or not you want to hang out with him afterwards. You might decide to just stay friends, or you might decide to cut off contact until you can get over him.
2. Choosing the Right Moment
2-1. Plan ahead.
It will be easier for you if you know when you are going to ask the question. You can practice the conversation ahead of time, or you can identify the right moment to bring the issue up. There is no one right time to ask a guy to be your boyfriend. Judge your personal circumstances carefully.
Some people plan a special date and hold this conversation at the end of a date. Others find that this conversation comes most naturally when they are hanging out together alone. Either way, choose a good day ahead of time.
Do not ask at a time when the guy will be stressed, upset, or busy. He may be taken aback by the question, and this could affect his answer.
If you are feeling nervous, anxious, or jittery, you can practice what you will say ahead of time. In a mirror, try starting the conversation and asking the question.
2-2. Meet in person.
It might be tempting to text or message a guy to ask him, but these questions are best dealt with in person. Talking in person allows you to explore different options for your relationship. If there are any questions or concerns the guy has, you can deal with them together.
If you’re in a long distance relationship, it may not be easy to meet up in person. If you can have this conversation during a visit, you might want to wait until the end before asking, in case you receive a negative answer. If you cannot ask in person, calling him is the next best option.
2-3. Determine a good place for conversation.
There is no one right place to have the relationship talk, but it should be a place where you can both express your feelings and discuss your future together. Consider what is right for you and the guy.
You should probably have this talk while you two are alone. You might broach the question during a walk on the beach, at the park, or in one of your homes.
If there a place that is special to both of you—such as the site of your first date or a favorite monument--, you might choose to have the talk there to make it memorable.
Make sure that the guy is not distracted. Do not ask him during a movie, while you are out with friends, or when he is working.
If you ask him while you are in the car or eating at a restaurant, he may feel trapped. Have the conversation in a place where you are both comfortable.
2-4. Introduce the question at the right moment.
While hanging out on your planned day, you should focus on staying relaxed. Wait until a good moment to introduce the topic. Wait for a moment that feels “right” or “special.” If you are having difficulty with this, you can follow some basic guidelines.
If he compliments you, you might compliment him back, starting a conversation on what you enjoy about each other. This is a natural segue into the relationship talk.
If there a period of silence, you might bring up the issue. Say how happy you are in the moment, and see if the conversation comes up.
At the end of your date or hang out, you can say, “Hey, before you go, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
2-5. Consider waiting for your guy to bring it up first.
If getting around to calling him your “boyfriend” isn’t too high a priority, consider waiting to see if your guy mentions it first. This also helps you feel out whether your guy is comfortable with using titles or labels to define your relationship. This might be a good option if you are uncertain about your feelings or if you think that he is uncertain about the relationship.
Do not wait around forever for a guy to bring up the question. Set a date for yourself before you ask him. For example, you might give him a month before asking him yourself.
3. Asking the Question
3-1. Start with a compliment.
Tell the guy what you like about him. This flattery will relax him, and it will make the relationship question much easier to broach. A compliment about his humor, intelligence, or kindness is a good way to signal how you think about him.
You might say, “You know, you are so funny. I’ve never met a guy like you before.”
Another good compliment is, “You are very thoughtful. I’m so touched by your gestures.”
If he smiles, thanks you, or compliments you back, it may be a positive sign that he feels similarly about you.
3-2. Explain your feelings about him.
Once you have started on a positive note, it may be easy to start explaining your feelings for him. If you received a positive reaction from your compliment, you might want to delve deeper into your feelings. Explain to him how you feel about him. You might explain that you have enjoyed your time together so far or that you are starting to develop feelings.
You might say, “I’ve had such a good time with you so far. You’re a really unique person, and I've been thinking a lot about our relationship.”
You should probably avoid telling him that you love him at this point. He may become scared or worried that the relationship is moving too quickly. Instead, you might say that you are “developing feelings” or that you “really like” him.
3-3. Ask your guy if he wants to be your boyfriend.
It is best to ask him directly about whether or not he is ready to be your boyfriend. Depending on the situation, you can approach this question in a number of different ways.
You can ask him directly by saying, “Do you want to make this official? Do you want to become my boyfriend?”
If you’re uncertain about the status of your relationship, you can ask, “Where do you see this relationship going?”
If either of you are dating multiple people, you can ask, “Do you want to start seeing each other exclusively?”
If you want to understand how he sees you, you might say, “I want to know what to tell other people when they ask what our relationship is. Would you say you’re my boyfriend?”
3-4. Establish your expectations.
You both might have different ideas of what a steady relationship means. Perhaps he’s ready to date you exclusively but not ready to meet your family. Maybe he wants to have sex but you want to wait. When you have the talk, you both should clearly state what you expect out of the situation.
You might begin this conversation by asking him, “What does being a boyfriend mean to you?”
Answer truthfully if he asks you about what you expect in a relationship. For example, you might say, "I expect a guy to be faithful and to be honest with me. I'm not ready for marriage yet, but I do want to explore the possibility of a more serious relationship."
3-5. Give him time to respond.
The guy might be feeling pressured or uncomfortable by the question. If he appears anxious, uncomfortable, or hesitant, you might want to give him a day or two to think over his answer. While it may seem as though he trying not to commit, he may just need time to consider whether or not he’s ready for it.
You can say, “If you need time to think about it, that’s fine. Give it some time before you make your decision.”
If he asks for space, give him space. You can ask, “How long do you think you need to figure this out?” Try not to bring up the question again until that time has passed.
If he does not give you a time frame, you can ask again after a few days. Say, “Hey, I just wanted to know if you’ve given any thought to our relationship. Have you decided where we stand?”
Do not obsessively text, call, or message him about this issue. If he did not give you a straight answer right away, you might text him once after you asked the question and again in a day or two. Give him some space if he needs it to decide.
3-6. Handle rejection gracefully.
If he states that he does not want to be your boyfriend, try to remain positive. Try to smile, and let him know that you understand. He may be content with continuing a casual relationship, or he may want to end things there. Consider your own feelings before proceeding.
If he wants to end things, respect his choice. Thank him for your time together, but state that you understand. You might say, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I had fun with you. Good luck in the future.”
If he wants to continue a casual relationship but you want to end things, you might say, “I think it would best if we stopped seeing each other then.” If he asks why, simply state, “It seems that we want different things.”
He might state that he wants to stay friends with you. Do not agree unless you are willing to be just friends. If you feel as though this would be difficult, be honest. Say, “I’m not sure that will work out for me. You’re a great guy, but I think I will need some space.”
Some men may “ghost” you or stop contacting you. It is natural to feel upset about this, but it does not mean that he necessarily dislikes you. He may only feel awkward about the situation.
Tips
Different relationships operate on different terms and schedules. Don’t be pressured or ashamed if your relationship does not move at the same speed as your friends’ relationships.
If you just met your crush, don't rush it. Get to know him and then maybe try something with him.
Take some time after you become a couple before you progress your relationship. While each relationship moves at its own speed, he may not be ready for more serious steps, such as meeting your parents or moving in with you.
Warnings
Do not harass or bother a man to become your boyfriend. If he is uninterested, the best thing you can do is move on.
It is natural to feel sad, upset, or depressed after a rejection. Try to distract yourself with activities that you enjoy, and spend some time with your friends.
Do not get angry if a man does not want to be your boyfriend. There are many reasons he could have said no. Perhaps he is not in a good place for a relationship, or maybe you two are not right for each other.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:00",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Deciding If You Are Ready\\n1-1. Determine whether you’re ready to commit.\\nThe decision to commit can be a tricky one. Whether or not you are ready for a committed, steady relationship can be determined by a number of factors. Every case is different, and you might have certain expectations for a relationship. Ask yourself:\\nHow do I feel about him? Do I feel excited when we are together? Do I miss him when he is gone?\\nCan I handle the time commitment of a serious relationship right now? What type of relationship do I want?\\nHave we fought before? If so, how well did we handle it?\\nDoes he respect me? Are there any red flags I am concerned about? Am I uncertain about his character? Do I trust him?\\nHow do I feel about monogamy? Do I want an exclusive relationship with one person? If so, am I willing to be monogamous with this man? If not, are both parties open to a polyamorous relationship?\\nAm I doing this because he makes me happy? Or are other people pressuring me to have a boyfriend?\\n1-2. Take the length of your relationship into consideration.\\nAsking your guy to be your boyfriend too soon can scare him off if the feeling isn’t mutual, but waiting too long can create confusion and hurt feelings. Since all relationships are different, there’s no specific amount of time you should wait before asking. Trust your instinct. If the timing feels right, it might just be.\\nIf you have just met the guy, you might want to go on a few dates before you ask him to be your boyfriend. You may not want to commit to someone you just met.\\nMany people ask a partner to become steady or exclusive after about six dates or one month.\\nSome people wait until they have dated for three months to have the talk.\\nIf you have a long distance relationship, you may want to establish this talk sooner rather than later. This will help both parties understand what is expected even when you are far apart.\\n1-3. Identify whether the guy is interested.\\nYou should have some indication about how the guy feels about you. The only way to be absolutely certain about his feelings is to ask him, but you can look for certain signs that might signal his feelings.\\nIf a man refers to future plans, it might be a sign that he is planning on sticking around with you.\\nIf he brags about you to people, especially to his friends, it might show that he is proud to be around you.\\nIf he sends you texts asking how you are throughout the day, it may mean that he is thinking often about you.\\nIf you see each other several times a week and hang out every weekend, it may be a sign that he is becoming more invested in you.\\n1-4. Prepare yourself for rejection.\\nWhile you’re hoping he agrees to be your boyfriend, keep in mind that he might say no. Your guy may not be ready for a serious relationship with you, or perhaps he doesn’t like using titles or labels to describe your relationship. Think about how you will respond to a rejection.\\nIf you want a serious relationship with someone who will commit to you, you may have to part ways with this guy if he says no. This will allow you to find someone who wants a serious relationship as well.\\nIf you are content with your relationship, you might decide to maintain your current status until he’s ready to become your boyfriend.\\nIf you have deep feelings for this guy, you might have to decide whether or not you want to hang out with him afterwards. You might decide to just stay friends, or you might decide to cut off contact until you can get over him.\\n2. Choosing the Right Moment\\n2-1. Plan ahead.\\nIt will be easier for you if you know when you are going to ask the question. You can practice the conversation ahead of time, or you can identify the right moment to bring the issue up. There is no one right time to ask a guy to be your boyfriend. Judge your personal circumstances carefully. \\nSome people plan a special date and hold this conversation at the end of a date. Others find that this conversation comes most naturally when they are hanging out together alone. Either way, choose a good day ahead of time.\\nDo not ask at a time when the guy will be stressed, upset, or busy. He may be taken aback by the question, and this could affect his answer.\\nIf you are feeling nervous, anxious, or jittery, you can practice what you will say ahead of time. In a mirror, try starting the conversation and asking the question.\\n2-2. Meet in person.\\nIt might be tempting to text or message a guy to ask him, but these questions are best dealt with in person. Talking in person allows you to explore different options for your relationship. If there are any questions or concerns the guy has, you can deal with them together.\\nIf you’re in a long distance relationship, it may not be easy to meet up in person. If you can have this conversation during a visit, you might want to wait until the end before asking, in case you receive a negative answer. If you cannot ask in person, calling him is the next best option.\\n2-3. Determine a good place for conversation.\\nThere is no one right place to have the relationship talk, but it should be a place where you can both express your feelings and discuss your future together. Consider what is right for you and the guy. \\nYou should probably have this talk while you two are alone. You might broach the question during a walk on the beach, at the park, or in one of your homes.\\nIf there a place that is special to both of you—such as the site of your first date or a favorite monument--, you might choose to have the talk there to make it memorable.\\nMake sure that the guy is not distracted. Do not ask him during a movie, while you are out with friends, or when he is working.\\nIf you ask him while you are in the car or eating at a restaurant, he may feel trapped. Have the conversation in a place where you are both comfortable.\\n2-4. Introduce the question at the right moment.\\nWhile hanging out on your planned day, you should focus on staying relaxed. Wait until a good moment to introduce the topic. Wait for a moment that feels “right” or “special.” If you are having difficulty with this, you can follow some basic guidelines.\\nIf he compliments you, you might compliment him back, starting a conversation on what you enjoy about each other. This is a natural segue into the relationship talk.\\nIf there a period of silence, you might bring up the issue. Say how happy you are in the moment, and see if the conversation comes up.\\nAt the end of your date or hang out, you can say, “Hey, before you go, I wanted to talk to you about something.”\\n2-5. Consider waiting for your guy to bring it up first.\\nIf getting around to calling him your “boyfriend” isn’t too high a priority, consider waiting to see if your guy mentions it first. This also helps you feel out whether your guy is comfortable with using titles or labels to define your relationship. This might be a good option if you are uncertain about your feelings or if you think that he is uncertain about the relationship.\\nDo not wait around forever for a guy to bring up the question. Set a date for yourself before you ask him. For example, you might give him a month before asking him yourself.\\n3. Asking the Question\\n3-1. Start with a compliment.\\nTell the guy what you like about him. This flattery will relax him, and it will make the relationship question much easier to broach. A compliment about his humor, intelligence, or kindness is a good way to signal how you think about him.\\nYou might say, “You know, you are so funny. I’ve never met a guy like you before.”\\nAnother good compliment is, “You are very thoughtful. I’m so touched by your gestures.”\\nIf he smiles, thanks you, or compliments you back, it may be a positive sign that he feels similarly about you.\\n3-2. Explain your feelings about him.\\nOnce you have started on a positive note, it may be easy to start explaining your feelings for him. If you received a positive reaction from your compliment, you might want to delve deeper into your feelings. Explain to him how you feel about him. You might explain that you have enjoyed your time together so far or that you are starting to develop feelings. \\nYou might say, “I’ve had such a good time with you so far. You’re a really unique person, and I've been thinking a lot about our relationship.”\\nYou should probably avoid telling him that you love him at this point. He may become scared or worried that the relationship is moving too quickly. Instead, you might say that you are “developing feelings” or that you “really like” him.\\n3-3. Ask your guy if he wants to be your boyfriend.\\nIt is best to ask him directly about whether or not he is ready to be your boyfriend. Depending on the situation, you can approach this question in a number of different ways.\\nYou can ask him directly by saying, “Do you want to make this official? Do you want to become my boyfriend?”\\nIf you’re uncertain about the status of your relationship, you can ask, “Where do you see this relationship going?”\\nIf either of you are dating multiple people, you can ask, “Do you want to start seeing each other exclusively?”\\nIf you want to understand how he sees you, you might say, “I want to know what to tell other people when they ask what our relationship is. Would you say you’re my boyfriend?”\\n3-4. Establish your expectations.\\nYou both might have different ideas of what a steady relationship means. Perhaps he’s ready to date you exclusively but not ready to meet your family. Maybe he wants to have sex but you want to wait. When you have the talk, you both should clearly state what you expect out of the situation.\\nYou might begin this conversation by asking him, “What does being a boyfriend mean to you?”\\nAnswer truthfully if he asks you about what you expect in a relationship. For example, you might say, \\\"I expect a guy to be faithful and to be honest with me. I'm not ready for marriage yet, but I do want to explore the possibility of a more serious relationship.\\\"\\n3-5. Give him time to respond.\\nThe guy might be feeling pressured or uncomfortable by the question. If he appears anxious, uncomfortable, or hesitant, you might want to give him a day or two to think over his answer. While it may seem as though he trying not to commit, he may just need time to consider whether or not he’s ready for it.\\nYou can say, “If you need time to think about it, that’s fine. Give it some time before you make your decision.”\\nIf he asks for space, give him space. You can ask, “How long do you think you need to figure this out?” Try not to bring up the question again until that time has passed.\\nIf he does not give you a time frame, you can ask again after a few days. Say, “Hey, I just wanted to know if you’ve given any thought to our relationship. Have you decided where we stand?”\\nDo not obsessively text, call, or message him about this issue. If he did not give you a straight answer right away, you might text him once after you asked the question and again in a day or two. Give him some space if he needs it to decide.\\n3-6. Handle rejection gracefully.\\nIf he states that he does not want to be your boyfriend, try to remain positive. Try to smile, and let him know that you understand. He may be content with continuing a casual relationship, or he may want to end things there. Consider your own feelings before proceeding. \\nIf he wants to end things, respect his choice. Thank him for your time together, but state that you understand. You might say, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I had fun with you. Good luck in the future.”\\nIf he wants to continue a casual relationship but you want to end things, you might say, “I think it would best if we stopped seeing each other then.” If he asks why, simply state, “It seems that we want different things.”\\nHe might state that he wants to stay friends with you. Do not agree unless you are willing to be just friends. If you feel as though this would be difficult, be honest. Say, “I’m not sure that will work out for me. You’re a great guy, but I think I will need some space.”\\nSome men may “ghost” you or stop contacting you. It is natural to feel upset about this, but it does not mean that he necessarily dislikes you. He may only feel awkward about the situation.\\nTips\\nDifferent relationships operate on different terms and schedules. Don’t be pressured or ashamed if your relationship does not move at the same speed as your friends’ relationships.\\nIf you just met your crush, don't rush it. Get to know him and then maybe try something with him.\\nTake some time after you become a couple before you progress your relationship. While each relationship moves at its own speed, he may not be ready for more serious steps, such as meeting your parents or moving in with you.\\nWarnings\\nDo not harass or bother a man to become your boyfriend. If he is uninterested, the best thing you can do is move on.\\nIt is natural to feel sad, upset, or depressed after a rejection. Try to distract yourself with activities that you enjoy, and spend some time with your friends.\\nDo not get angry if a man does not want to be your boyfriend. There are many reasons he could have said no. Perhaps he is not in a good place for a relationship, or maybe you two are not right for each other.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a guy to be your boyfriend can be scary, but it doesn't have to be. With the right mindset, you can have a meaningful conversation about the future of your relationship with a guy without feeling stressed.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Deciding If You Are Ready\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether you’re ready to commit.\", \"描述\": \"The decision to commit can be a tricky one. Whether or not you are ready for a committed, steady relationship can be determined by a number of factors. Every case is different, and you might have certain expectations for a relationship. Ask yourself:\\nHow do I feel about him? Do I feel excited when we are together? Do I miss him when he is gone?\\nCan I handle the time commitment of a serious relationship right now? What type of relationship do I want?\\nHave we fought before? If so, how well did we handle it?\\nDoes he respect me? Are there any red flags I am concerned about? Am I uncertain about his character? Do I trust him?\\nHow do I feel about monogamy? Do I want an exclusive relationship with one person? If so, am I willing to be monogamous with this man? If not, are both parties open to a polyamorous relationship?\\nAm I doing this because he makes me happy? Or are other people pressuring me to have a boyfriend?\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Take the length of your relationship into consideration.\", \"描述\": \"Asking your guy to be your boyfriend too soon can scare him off if the feeling isn’t mutual, but waiting too long can create confusion and hurt feelings. Since all relationships are different, there’s no specific amount of time you should wait before asking. Trust your instinct. If the timing feels right, it might just be.\\nIf you have just met the guy, you might want to go on a few dates before you ask him to be your boyfriend. You may not want to commit to someone you just met.\\nMany people ask a partner to become steady or exclusive after about six dates or one month.\\nSome people wait until they have dated for three months to have the talk.\\nIf you have a long distance relationship, you may want to establish this talk sooner rather than later. This will help both parties understand what is expected even when you are far apart.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Identify whether the guy is interested.\", \"描述\": \"You should have some indication about how the guy feels about you. The only way to be absolutely certain about his feelings is to ask him, but you can look for certain signs that might signal his feelings.\\nIf a man refers to future plans, it might be a sign that he is planning on sticking around with you.\\nIf he brags about you to people, especially to his friends, it might show that he is proud to be around you.\\nIf he sends you texts asking how you are throughout the day, it may mean that he is thinking often about you.\\nIf you see each other several times a week and hang out every weekend, it may be a sign that he is becoming more invested in you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Prepare yourself for rejection.\", \"描述\": \"While you’re hoping he agrees to be your boyfriend, keep in mind that he might say no. Your guy may not be ready for a serious relationship with you, or perhaps he doesn’t like using titles or labels to describe your relationship. Think about how you will respond to a rejection.\\nIf you want a serious relationship with someone who will commit to you, you may have to part ways with this guy if he says no. This will allow you to find someone who wants a serious relationship as well.\\nIf you are content with your relationship, you might decide to maintain your current status until he’s ready to become your boyfriend.\\nIf you have deep feelings for this guy, you might have to decide whether or not you want to hang out with him afterwards. You might decide to just stay friends, or you might decide to cut off contact until you can get over him.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choosing the Right Moment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Plan ahead.\", \"描述\": \"It will be easier for you if you know when you are going to ask the question. You can practice the conversation ahead of time, or you can identify the right moment to bring the issue up. There is no one right time to ask a guy to be your boyfriend. Judge your personal circumstances carefully. \\nSome people plan a special date and hold this conversation at the end of a date. Others find that this conversation comes most naturally when they are hanging out together alone. Either way, choose a good day ahead of time.\\nDo not ask at a time when the guy will be stressed, upset, or busy. He may be taken aback by the question, and this could affect his answer.\\nIf you are feeling nervous, anxious, or jittery, you can practice what you will say ahead of time. In a mirror, try starting the conversation and asking the question.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Meet in person.\", \"描述\": \"It might be tempting to text or message a guy to ask him, but these questions are best dealt with in person. Talking in person allows you to explore different options for your relationship. If there are any questions or concerns the guy has, you can deal with them together.\\nIf you’re in a long distance relationship, it may not be easy to meet up in person. If you can have this conversation during a visit, you might want to wait until the end before asking, in case you receive a negative answer. If you cannot ask in person, calling him is the next best option.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine a good place for conversation.\", \"描述\": \"There is no one right place to have the relationship talk, but it should be a place where you can both express your feelings and discuss your future together. Consider what is right for you and the guy. \\nYou should probably have this talk while you two are alone. You might broach the question during a walk on the beach, at the park, or in one of your homes.\\nIf there a place that is special to both of you—such as the site of your first date or a favorite monument--, you might choose to have the talk there to make it memorable.\\nMake sure that the guy is not distracted. Do not ask him during a movie, while you are out with friends, or when he is working.\\nIf you ask him while you are in the car or eating at a restaurant, he may feel trapped. Have the conversation in a place where you are both comfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Introduce the question at the right moment.\", \"描述\": \"While hanging out on your planned day, you should focus on staying relaxed. Wait until a good moment to introduce the topic. Wait for a moment that feels “right” or “special.” If you are having difficulty with this, you can follow some basic guidelines.\\nIf he compliments you, you might compliment him back, starting a conversation on what you enjoy about each other. This is a natural segue into the relationship talk.\\nIf there a period of silence, you might bring up the issue. Say how happy you are in the moment, and see if the conversation comes up.\\nAt the end of your date or hang out, you can say, “Hey, before you go, I wanted to talk to you about something.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider waiting for your guy to bring it up first.\", \"描述\": \"If getting around to calling him your “boyfriend” isn’t too high a priority, consider waiting to see if your guy mentions it first. This also helps you feel out whether your guy is comfortable with using titles or labels to define your relationship. This might be a good option if you are uncertain about your feelings or if you think that he is uncertain about the relationship.\\nDo not wait around forever for a guy to bring up the question. Set a date for yourself before you ask him. For example, you might give him a month before asking him yourself.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking the Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"Tell the guy what you like about him. This flattery will relax him, and it will make the relationship question much easier to broach. A compliment about his humor, intelligence, or kindness is a good way to signal how you think about him.\\nYou might say, “You know, you are so funny. I’ve never met a guy like you before.”\\nAnother good compliment is, “You are very thoughtful. I’m so touched by your gestures.”\\nIf he smiles, thanks you, or compliments you back, it may be a positive sign that he feels similarly about you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain your feelings about him.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have started on a positive note, it may be easy to start explaining your feelings for him. If you received a positive reaction from your compliment, you might want to delve deeper into your feelings. Explain to him how you feel about him. You might explain that you have enjoyed your time together so far or that you are starting to develop feelings. \\nYou might say, “I’ve had such a good time with you so far. You’re a really unique person, and I've been thinking a lot about our relationship.”\\nYou should probably avoid telling him that you love him at this point. He may become scared or worried that the relationship is moving too quickly. Instead, you might say that you are “developing feelings” or that you “really like” him.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask your guy if he wants to be your boyfriend.\", \"描述\": \"It is best to ask him directly about whether or not he is ready to be your boyfriend. Depending on the situation, you can approach this question in a number of different ways.\\nYou can ask him directly by saying, “Do you want to make this official? Do you want to become my boyfriend?”\\nIf you’re uncertain about the status of your relationship, you can ask, “Where do you see this relationship going?”\\nIf either of you are dating multiple people, you can ask, “Do you want to start seeing each other exclusively?”\\nIf you want to understand how he sees you, you might say, “I want to know what to tell other people when they ask what our relationship is. Would you say you’re my boyfriend?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Establish your expectations.\", \"描述\": \"You both might have different ideas of what a steady relationship means. Perhaps he’s ready to date you exclusively but not ready to meet your family. Maybe he wants to have sex but you want to wait. When you have the talk, you both should clearly state what you expect out of the situation.\\nYou might begin this conversation by asking him, “What does being a boyfriend mean to you?”\\nAnswer truthfully if he asks you about what you expect in a relationship. For example, you might say, \\\"I expect a guy to be faithful and to be honest with me. I'm not ready for marriage yet, but I do want to explore the possibility of a more serious relationship.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give him time to respond.\", \"描述\": \"The guy might be feeling pressured or uncomfortable by the question. If he appears anxious, uncomfortable, or hesitant, you might want to give him a day or two to think over his answer. While it may seem as though he trying not to commit, he may just need time to consider whether or not he’s ready for it.\\nYou can say, “If you need time to think about it, that’s fine. Give it some time before you make your decision.”\\nIf he asks for space, give him space. You can ask, “How long do you think you need to figure this out?” Try not to bring up the question again until that time has passed.\\nIf he does not give you a time frame, you can ask again after a few days. Say, “Hey, I just wanted to know if you’ve given any thought to our relationship. Have you decided where we stand?”\\nDo not obsessively text, call, or message him about this issue. If he did not give you a straight answer right away, you might text him once after you asked the question and again in a day or two. Give him some space if he needs it to decide.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Handle rejection gracefully.\", \"描述\": \"If he states that he does not want to be your boyfriend, try to remain positive. Try to smile, and let him know that you understand. He may be content with continuing a casual relationship, or he may want to end things there. Consider your own feelings before proceeding. \\nIf he wants to end things, respect his choice. Thank him for your time together, but state that you understand. You might say, “I’m sorry to hear that, but I had fun with you. Good luck in the future.”\\nIf he wants to continue a casual relationship but you want to end things, you might say, “I think it would best if we stopped seeing each other then.” If he asks why, simply state, “It seems that we want different things.”\\nHe might state that he wants to stay friends with you. Do not agree unless you are willing to be just friends. If you feel as though this would be difficult, be honest. Say, “I’m not sure that will work out for me. You’re a great guy, but I think I will need some space.”\\nSome men may “ghost” you or stop contacting you. It is natural to feel upset about this, but it does not mean that he necessarily dislikes you. He may only feel awkward about the situation.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Different relationships operate on different terms and schedules. Don’t be pressured or ashamed if your relationship does not move at the same speed as your friends’ relationships.\\n\", \"If you just met your crush, don't rush it. Get to know him and then maybe try something with him.\\n\", \"Take some time after you become a couple before you progress your relationship. While each relationship moves at its own speed, he may not be ready for more serious steps, such as meeting your parents or moving in with you.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not harass or bother a man to become your boyfriend. If he is uninterested, the best thing you can do is move on.\\n\", \"It is natural to feel sad, upset, or depressed after a rejection. Try to distract yourself with activities that you enjoy, and spend some time with your friends.\\n\", \"Do not get angry if a man does not want to be your boyfriend. There are many reasons he could have said no. Perhaps he is not in a good place for a relationship, or maybe you two are not right for each other.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,579 | How to Ask a Guy to Hang Out | 1. Asking a Guy on a Date
1-1. Find something you both enjoy doing.
If you are already talking to the guy you want to hang out with, ask him about his interests. Use your knowledge about what he does for extracurriculars or as hobbies and incorporate them into your hangout.
For example, if he likes sports, go bowling or play a recreational game if possible. If he likes books, hang out and learn together in a library or bookstore.
Even if you aren’t fully interested in his hobbies, open your mind to new experiences. You may find you enjoy it more than you thought!
1-2. Ask him in person
Find a private time where you aren’t surrounded by other coworkers or students, and stay relaxed and confident as you approach him. Talking to him directly will show your interest in bonding with him and he will give you an immediate response to the offer.
Ask him after class, work, or when you run into one another.
1-3. Text him if you’re too nervous to do it in person.
Send a message over text or through a messaging app. Ask him if he would be interested in hanging out with an open-ended question to gauge his interest, or send a message with a specific time and date so he can easily answer yes or no.
You can also send a text message if you’re embarrassed to ask him while other people are around.
Send him messages like “Do you want to go get a coffee sometime?” or “Would you like to come bowling with me this Saturday?” This will help him see that you’re interested in bonding with him.
1-4. Gauge his interest by asking an open-ended question.
This will help you determine if he wants to hang out with you at some point in the future. If he says yes, make sure you follow through by asking him when he is free so you can work out the details.
Ask him questions like, “Would you like to get coffee sometime?” or use statements like, “We should get together outside of class/work soon.”
You can add more specific details to your questions like, “Do you want to get lunch one of these weekends?” This adds more specificity and urgency while still leaving it open-ended. Keep in mind that if a meeting is scheduled in advance, it's usually considered a date and not a casual hang out.
1-5. Tell him exactly what you want to do to make his decision easier.
Be as detailed as possible while explaining the plans you want to do with him. Mention times and days you want to hang out so he can answer yes or no immediately.
Ask something like “Do you want to grab something to eat for dinner this Friday?” or “There’s a concert next Monday at 7. Do you want to come with me?”
Lead the conversation with your plans. Asking a guy if he’s free on a specific day without mentioning what you plan on doing makes it hard for him to determine if he’s interested.
1-6. Don’t put pressure on him to say yes.
Phrase your invitation in a casual way so he can make a yes or no decision without feeling guilty. Pressuring a guy into hanging out could come across as needy or desperate.
Don’t use phrases like, “It would mean the world to me if you came,” or “I’ll be sad if you say no.” Instead, use a confident tone that shows you care, but be understanding if he can’t make it.
1-7. Accept rejection
Listen carefully to the reason he says no so you understand what he’s going through. It may just be a busy time in his life. Don’t look sad in front of him or he may feel guilty about turning down your offer. Instead, tell him that you both could try another time to keep the option open.
If you try multiple times to ask him to hang out and he says no, he may truly not be interested or be too busy and you should move on. If he wants to pursue hanging out again, let him initiate the conversation.
2. Hanging out as Friends
2-1. Use casual, non-flirty language while asking him to hang out.
Don’t try to ask him to hang out in a cute way that may send the wrong message. Be direct with what you want to do while you hang out and don’t act desperate or needy since this could be read the wrong way.
Ask him something like “Do you want to come with me to get lunch?” or “Would you like to grab a coffee on Thursday?” This way he knows what you want to do and you’re not flirting with him.
2-2. Invite mutual friends if you don’t want to send the wrong message.
If you want to stay casual, talk to a group of friends to do a large event. This will help you ease into hanging out together as friends. If he’s shy, he may be more open to hanging out with a group rather than have a one-on-one experience.
Use a group text or message to easily communicate with one another and figure out everyone’s schedule. Talk to the guy you want to hang out with in person as well as through the group chat.
Have a night where you play board games or go out to dinner all together. This allows you to have fun and talk.
2-3. Do something casual in a public place.
Look for coffee shops or public events taking place in your area using Facebook. If this is your first time hanging out with him, find a place where you’ll be able to hold a conversation and get to know each other better.
Avoid seeing a movie since it’s not a place where you can talk.
Check with your local museums to see if they offer free days or have any specials.
Hanging out at your home may send the wrong message if you’re only looking to be friends.
2-4. Tell him that you don’t want it to be a date if he doesn’t get the hint.
If the guy still thinks that he’s on a date, let him know in a polite way that won’t hurt his feelings. Be direct with him so he understands completely.
Use phrases like “I’m just looking to be friends” or “I’m not looking for anyone to date right now” so he doesn’t feel upset.
Tips
Don’t be afraid to ask a guy to hang out. He’ll see it as refreshing that he didn’t have to ask you and he’ll know that you’re confident.[13]
X
Research source
Remember to be a good listener. Listening is a very important skill. It’s easy to get wrapped up in talking about yourself, but make it a priority to ask questions and be curious about the guy.[14]
X
Expert Source
Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.
If you're on a date, don’t take yourself too seriously. Stay humble, and don’t place yourself on a pedestal.[15]
X
Expert Source
Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking a Guy on a Date\\n1-1. Find something you both enjoy doing.\\nIf you are already talking to the guy you want to hang out with, ask him about his interests. Use your knowledge about what he does for extracurriculars or as hobbies and incorporate them into your hangout.\\nFor example, if he likes sports, go bowling or play a recreational game if possible. If he likes books, hang out and learn together in a library or bookstore.\\nEven if you aren’t fully interested in his hobbies, open your mind to new experiences. You may find you enjoy it more than you thought!\\n1-2. Ask him in person\\nFind a private time where you aren’t surrounded by other coworkers or students, and stay relaxed and confident as you approach him. Talking to him directly will show your interest in bonding with him and he will give you an immediate response to the offer.\\nAsk him after class, work, or when you run into one another.\\n1-3. Text him if you’re too nervous to do it in person.\\nSend a message over text or through a messaging app. Ask him if he would be interested in hanging out with an open-ended question to gauge his interest, or send a message with a specific time and date so he can easily answer yes or no.\\nYou can also send a text message if you’re embarrassed to ask him while other people are around.\\nSend him messages like “Do you want to go get a coffee sometime?” or “Would you like to come bowling with me this Saturday?” This will help him see that you’re interested in bonding with him.\\n1-4. Gauge his interest by asking an open-ended question.\\nThis will help you determine if he wants to hang out with you at some point in the future. If he says yes, make sure you follow through by asking him when he is free so you can work out the details.\\nAsk him questions like, “Would you like to get coffee sometime?” or use statements like, “We should get together outside of class/work soon.”\\nYou can add more specific details to your questions like, “Do you want to get lunch one of these weekends?” This adds more specificity and urgency while still leaving it open-ended. Keep in mind that if a meeting is scheduled in advance, it's usually considered a date and not a casual hang out.\\n1-5. Tell him exactly what you want to do to make his decision easier.\\nBe as detailed as possible while explaining the plans you want to do with him. Mention times and days you want to hang out so he can answer yes or no immediately.\\nAsk something like “Do you want to grab something to eat for dinner this Friday?” or “There’s a concert next Monday at 7. Do you want to come with me?”\\nLead the conversation with your plans. Asking a guy if he’s free on a specific day without mentioning what you plan on doing makes it hard for him to determine if he’s interested.\\n1-6. Don’t put pressure on him to say yes.\\nPhrase your invitation in a casual way so he can make a yes or no decision without feeling guilty. Pressuring a guy into hanging out could come across as needy or desperate.\\nDon’t use phrases like, “It would mean the world to me if you came,” or “I’ll be sad if you say no.” Instead, use a confident tone that shows you care, but be understanding if he can’t make it.\\n1-7. Accept rejection\\nListen carefully to the reason he says no so you understand what he’s going through. It may just be a busy time in his life. Don’t look sad in front of him or he may feel guilty about turning down your offer. Instead, tell him that you both could try another time to keep the option open.\\nIf you try multiple times to ask him to hang out and he says no, he may truly not be interested or be too busy and you should move on. If he wants to pursue hanging out again, let him initiate the conversation.\\n2. Hanging out as Friends\\n2-1. Use casual, non-flirty language while asking him to hang out.\\nDon’t try to ask him to hang out in a cute way that may send the wrong message. Be direct with what you want to do while you hang out and don’t act desperate or needy since this could be read the wrong way.\\nAsk him something like “Do you want to come with me to get lunch?” or “Would you like to grab a coffee on Thursday?” This way he knows what you want to do and you’re not flirting with him.\\n2-2. Invite mutual friends if you don’t want to send the wrong message.\\nIf you want to stay casual, talk to a group of friends to do a large event. This will help you ease into hanging out together as friends. If he’s shy, he may be more open to hanging out with a group rather than have a one-on-one experience.\\nUse a group text or message to easily communicate with one another and figure out everyone’s schedule. Talk to the guy you want to hang out with in person as well as through the group chat.\\nHave a night where you play board games or go out to dinner all together. This allows you to have fun and talk.\\n2-3. Do something casual in a public place.\\nLook for coffee shops or public events taking place in your area using Facebook. If this is your first time hanging out with him, find a place where you’ll be able to hold a conversation and get to know each other better. \\nAvoid seeing a movie since it’s not a place where you can talk.\\nCheck with your local museums to see if they offer free days or have any specials.\\nHanging out at your home may send the wrong message if you’re only looking to be friends.\\n2-4. Tell him that you don’t want it to be a date if he doesn’t get the hint.\\nIf the guy still thinks that he’s on a date, let him know in a polite way that won’t hurt his feelings. Be direct with him so he understands completely.\\nUse phrases like “I’m just looking to be friends” or “I’m not looking for anyone to date right now” so he doesn’t feel upset.\\nTips\\nDon’t be afraid to ask a guy to hang out. He’ll see it as refreshing that he didn’t have to ask you and he’ll know that you’re confident.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nRemember to be a good listener. Listening is a very important skill. It’s easy to get wrapped up in talking about yourself, but make it a priority to ask questions and be curious about the guy.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLaura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker\\nExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.\\nIf you're on a date, don’t take yourself too seriously. Stay humble, and don’t place yourself on a pedestal.[15]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLaura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker\\nExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether you want to make a new friend or go on a date with your crush, asking a guy to hang out can seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. Hanging out and meeting new guys is fun and lets you build social connections you wouldn’t have previously had. By planning a casual event and being confident as you ask him to hang out with you, you can easily get to know him better.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking a Guy on a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find something you both enjoy doing.\", \"描述\": \"If you are already talking to the guy you want to hang out with, ask him about his interests. Use your knowledge about what he does for extracurriculars or as hobbies and incorporate them into your hangout.\\nFor example, if he likes sports, go bowling or play a recreational game if possible. If he likes books, hang out and learn together in a library or bookstore.\\nEven if you aren’t fully interested in his hobbies, open your mind to new experiences. You may find you enjoy it more than you thought!\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask him in person\", \"描述\": \"Find a private time where you aren’t surrounded by other coworkers or students, and stay relaxed and confident as you approach him. Talking to him directly will show your interest in bonding with him and he will give you an immediate response to the offer.\\nAsk him after class, work, or when you run into one another.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Text him if you’re too nervous to do it in person.\", \"描述\": \"Send a message over text or through a messaging app. Ask him if he would be interested in hanging out with an open-ended question to gauge his interest, or send a message with a specific time and date so he can easily answer yes or no.\\nYou can also send a text message if you’re embarrassed to ask him while other people are around.\\nSend him messages like “Do you want to go get a coffee sometime?” or “Would you like to come bowling with me this Saturday?” This will help him see that you’re interested in bonding with him.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Gauge his interest by asking an open-ended question.\", \"描述\": \"This will help you determine if he wants to hang out with you at some point in the future. If he says yes, make sure you follow through by asking him when he is free so you can work out the details.\\nAsk him questions like, “Would you like to get coffee sometime?” or use statements like, “We should get together outside of class/work soon.”\\nYou can add more specific details to your questions like, “Do you want to get lunch one of these weekends?” This adds more specificity and urgency while still leaving it open-ended. Keep in mind that if a meeting is scheduled in advance, it's usually considered a date and not a casual hang out.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tell him exactly what you want to do to make his decision easier.\", \"描述\": \"Be as detailed as possible while explaining the plans you want to do with him. Mention times and days you want to hang out so he can answer yes or no immediately.\\nAsk something like “Do you want to grab something to eat for dinner this Friday?” or “There’s a concert next Monday at 7. Do you want to come with me?”\\nLead the conversation with your plans. Asking a guy if he’s free on a specific day without mentioning what you plan on doing makes it hard for him to determine if he’s interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Don’t put pressure on him to say yes.\", \"描述\": \"Phrase your invitation in a casual way so he can make a yes or no decision without feeling guilty. Pressuring a guy into hanging out could come across as needy or desperate.\\nDon’t use phrases like, “It would mean the world to me if you came,” or “I’ll be sad if you say no.” Instead, use a confident tone that shows you care, but be understanding if he can’t make it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Accept rejection\", \"描述\": \"Listen carefully to the reason he says no so you understand what he’s going through. It may just be a busy time in his life. Don’t look sad in front of him or he may feel guilty about turning down your offer. Instead, tell him that you both could try another time to keep the option open.\\nIf you try multiple times to ask him to hang out and he says no, he may truly not be interested or be too busy and you should move on. If he wants to pursue hanging out again, let him initiate the conversation.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hanging out as Friends\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use casual, non-flirty language while asking him to hang out.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t try to ask him to hang out in a cute way that may send the wrong message. Be direct with what you want to do while you hang out and don’t act desperate or needy since this could be read the wrong way.\\nAsk him something like “Do you want to come with me to get lunch?” or “Would you like to grab a coffee on Thursday?” This way he knows what you want to do and you’re not flirting with him.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Invite mutual friends if you don’t want to send the wrong message.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to stay casual, talk to a group of friends to do a large event. This will help you ease into hanging out together as friends. If he’s shy, he may be more open to hanging out with a group rather than have a one-on-one experience.\\nUse a group text or message to easily communicate with one another and figure out everyone’s schedule. Talk to the guy you want to hang out with in person as well as through the group chat.\\nHave a night where you play board games or go out to dinner all together. This allows you to have fun and talk.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Do something casual in a public place.\", \"描述\": \"Look for coffee shops or public events taking place in your area using Facebook. If this is your first time hanging out with him, find a place where you’ll be able to hold a conversation and get to know each other better. \\nAvoid seeing a movie since it’s not a place where you can talk.\\nCheck with your local museums to see if they offer free days or have any specials.\\nHanging out at your home may send the wrong message if you’re only looking to be friends.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell him that you don’t want it to be a date if he doesn’t get the hint.\", \"描述\": \"If the guy still thinks that he’s on a date, let him know in a polite way that won’t hurt his feelings. Be direct with him so he understands completely.\\nUse phrases like “I’m just looking to be friends” or “I’m not looking for anyone to date right now” so he doesn’t feel upset.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t be afraid to ask a guy to hang out. He’ll see it as refreshing that he didn’t have to ask you and he’ll know that you’re confident.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"Remember to be a good listener. Listening is a very important skill. It’s easy to get wrapped up in talking about yourself, but make it a priority to ask questions and be curious about the guy.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLaura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker\\nExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.\\n\", \"If you're on a date, don’t take yourself too seriously. Stay humble, and don’t place yourself on a pedestal.[15]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLaura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker\\nExpert Interview. 7 July 2020.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,580 | How to Ask a Guy to Hang Out Through Texting | 1. Boost his ego a bit to get things started.
Tell him he’s charming, funny, or smart before you ask.
Butter him up with a few messages that talk about some of his qualities that you like and admire. He’ll love it and he may be more open and receptive to hanging out with you when you ask him
Try texting, “You might be one of the funniest people I know” or “You little charmer you.”
You could also try, “It’s always refreshing to talk to an intelligent guy. You’re such a brainiac.”
2. Use flirty questions to loosen him up.
Keep it lighthearted and fun to ease the tension and get him talking.
Ask questions to keep the conversation moving. Inject some playful teasing and flirting into your questions so he opens up and feels comfortable talking to you, which may make him more likely to want to spend more time with you.
Try asking, “How are you single? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It means people like me might have a chance. But how come you’re not in a relationship?”
You could also try, “What’s your family like? Got any rich uncles I should know about so I can start scheming now?”
3. Tell him you should hang out to gauge his interest.
Talk about it hypothetically to see how he feels.
Bring up the idea of hanging out without actually asking and see how he reacts. If he’s really open to the idea, great! It’ll be super easy for you to follow up and ask him. If he’s not super into it, you can just back off without having risked putting yourself out there completely.
Try texting, “We should get together sometime!” or keep it more casual with something like, “Dude, we have to hang out someday.”
You could also try, “We should grab dinner sometime” or “I haven’t been to the movies in forever! Let’s go someday.”
If he reacts sort of neutrally and isn’t super for or against the idea of hanging out, no worries. You may still be able to ask him without getting rejected.
4. Ask about his availability.
Find out when he’s free before you ask him to hang out.
If you already have plans or an event in mind that you want to ask him to come to, ask if he’s free on that day and time. If you’re trying to make plans with him, find out his general availability so it’ll be easier to ask him to hang out when you know he’s free.
For instance, you could ask, “Are you busy Friday night around 7?” or “What are you up to this weekend? Got any plans?”
5. Choose something specific to invite him to.
He may be more likely to agree to it.
Avoid asking him to hang out in vague terms or he might be more likely to turn you down or half-heartedly commit to the idea (and he might not follow through). Instead, have a specific event or location in mind when you ask and he might be more down for it.
For example, say, “Hey, do you want to check out the new Italian restaurant with me on Friday” instead of “Hey, do you want to grab dinner sometime?”
You could also try, “I was going to go to the art exhibit that’s in town right now. Wanna come with?”
6. Say you need a wingman.
Make him feel like you need his help.
If you really just want to hang out as friends, ask him to join you as a wingman who can help you navigate a bar, party, or even a single’s event. Even if you maybe like him as more than a friend, it could make him more attracted to you if you enlist his help in a non-romantic way.
You could try, “Hey, I’ve got this work party I have to go to, do you wanna be my wingman for it?”
You could also try, “There’s a single’s night at this club I want to go to. Will you be my wingman for it?”
7. Include him in your current plans.
Ask him to join you if you already have something to do.
Make the ask less awkward by talking about your existing plans and inviting them to come along with you. It’ll feel more natural and he just might be more willing to join.
For instance, you could try, “Hey, I’m having some friends over to watch the Olympics this weekend. Feel free to join us!”
You could also try, “There’s a free yoga class at the park this Saturday that I’m going to. You should come with me!”
8. Invite him out for drinks with some friends.
He may be more likely to come if there are other people.
Asking a guy to come hang out with you alone could be a little intimidating for him. Tell him you’re going somewhere with some friends and it may feel more casual and fun, which could make him more likely to say yes. It’ll also be no big deal if he can’t make it—you can just go have fun with your friends!
Try, “Hey! A bunch of us are going to grab some pizza and drinks this Friday night. You wanna come?”
You could also text, “Some friends invited me out to an EDM show. Wanna tag along with us?”
9. Ask if he wants to grab coffee or lunch.
Keep it casual and low-pressure.
If you really just want to hang out as a friend or if you’re worried he might say no to a night-time invite, try asking him to get together during the day. Suggest a coffee shop or a tasty lunch spot for an easy option that he may be more likely to agree to—who doesn’t like lunch or coffee?
Try, “Hey, I’m starving. Wanna grab some lunch?” or “I’d kill for a coffee right now. You want to hit that new cafe with me?”
10. Frame your question as an offer to hang out.
Make it seem like he has a chance to spend time with you.
Make yourself the prize that he can potentially win by putting the ball in his court whenever you ask him to hang out. Turn the offer around so that he gets a chance to hang out with you rather than you asking if he wants to see you. He may be more intrigued and likely to agree!
For instance, try asking “Oh, by the way, I’m going to the museum in the city this weekend. Feel free to join” instead of, “Do you want to go to the museum with me this weekend?”
11. Give him an easy out if you want less pressure.
Make it easy for him to say no so he doesn’t feel obligated.
If you’re really worried about him turning you down, or you don’t want to make him feel like he has to agree to hang out with you, give him the option to say no without any consequences. Tell him it’s totally cool if he can’t make it. He may say yes, he may say no, but you managed to ask him!
You could try, “I’m going to see the new Marvel movie sometime this weekend if you want to come. No worries if not!”
You could also try, “Hey, feel free to say no, but I’m going to 80s night at this bar tonight if you wanna join!”
12. Text him less after he agrees.
Avoid sending a ton of messages or it could turn him off.
Resist the temptation to follow up with a bunch of texts once he says yes. Hang back and just wait until you get to see him. Congrats, you’ve done it! Don’t mess it up by blowing up his phone and you’re golden.
If he says no, don’t worry about it. He may change his mind in the future or he could be busy. Things may change in the future.
Tips
If you have mutual friends, you could try inviting him to hang out with a few people he already knows. It could make him more likely to say yes.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Boost his ego a bit to get things started.\\nTell him he’s charming, funny, or smart before you ask.\\nButter him up with a few messages that talk about some of his qualities that you like and admire. He’ll love it and he may be more open and receptive to hanging out with you when you ask him\\nTry texting, “You might be one of the funniest people I know” or “You little charmer you.”\\nYou could also try, “It’s always refreshing to talk to an intelligent guy. You’re such a brainiac.”\\n2. Use flirty questions to loosen him up.\\nKeep it lighthearted and fun to ease the tension and get him talking.\\nAsk questions to keep the conversation moving. Inject some playful teasing and flirting into your questions so he opens up and feels comfortable talking to you, which may make him more likely to want to spend more time with you.\\nTry asking, “How are you single? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It means people like me might have a chance. But how come you’re not in a relationship?”\\nYou could also try, “What’s your family like? Got any rich uncles I should know about so I can start scheming now?”\\n3. Tell him you should hang out to gauge his interest.\\nTalk about it hypothetically to see how he feels.\\nBring up the idea of hanging out without actually asking and see how he reacts. If he’s really open to the idea, great! It’ll be super easy for you to follow up and ask him. If he’s not super into it, you can just back off without having risked putting yourself out there completely.\\nTry texting, “We should get together sometime!” or keep it more casual with something like, “Dude, we have to hang out someday.”\\nYou could also try, “We should grab dinner sometime” or “I haven’t been to the movies in forever! Let’s go someday.”\\nIf he reacts sort of neutrally and isn’t super for or against the idea of hanging out, no worries. You may still be able to ask him without getting rejected.\\n4. Ask about his availability.\\nFind out when he’s free before you ask him to hang out.\\nIf you already have plans or an event in mind that you want to ask him to come to, ask if he’s free on that day and time. If you’re trying to make plans with him, find out his general availability so it’ll be easier to ask him to hang out when you know he’s free.\\nFor instance, you could ask, “Are you busy Friday night around 7?” or “What are you up to this weekend? Got any plans?”\\n5. Choose something specific to invite him to.\\nHe may be more likely to agree to it.\\nAvoid asking him to hang out in vague terms or he might be more likely to turn you down or half-heartedly commit to the idea (and he might not follow through). Instead, have a specific event or location in mind when you ask and he might be more down for it.\\nFor example, say, “Hey, do you want to check out the new Italian restaurant with me on Friday” instead of “Hey, do you want to grab dinner sometime?”\\nYou could also try, “I was going to go to the art exhibit that’s in town right now. Wanna come with?”\\n6. Say you need a wingman.\\nMake him feel like you need his help.\\nIf you really just want to hang out as friends, ask him to join you as a wingman who can help you navigate a bar, party, or even a single’s event. Even if you maybe like him as more than a friend, it could make him more attracted to you if you enlist his help in a non-romantic way.\\nYou could try, “Hey, I’ve got this work party I have to go to, do you wanna be my wingman for it?”\\nYou could also try, “There’s a single’s night at this club I want to go to. Will you be my wingman for it?”\\n7. Include him in your current plans.\\nAsk him to join you if you already have something to do.\\nMake the ask less awkward by talking about your existing plans and inviting them to come along with you. It’ll feel more natural and he just might be more willing to join.\\nFor instance, you could try, “Hey, I’m having some friends over to watch the Olympics this weekend. Feel free to join us!”\\nYou could also try, “There’s a free yoga class at the park this Saturday that I’m going to. You should come with me!”\\n8. Invite him out for drinks with some friends.\\nHe may be more likely to come if there are other people.\\nAsking a guy to come hang out with you alone could be a little intimidating for him. Tell him you’re going somewhere with some friends and it may feel more casual and fun, which could make him more likely to say yes. It’ll also be no big deal if he can’t make it—you can just go have fun with your friends!\\nTry, “Hey! A bunch of us are going to grab some pizza and drinks this Friday night. You wanna come?”\\nYou could also text, “Some friends invited me out to an EDM show. Wanna tag along with us?”\\n9. Ask if he wants to grab coffee or lunch.\\nKeep it casual and low-pressure.\\nIf you really just want to hang out as a friend or if you’re worried he might say no to a night-time invite, try asking him to get together during the day. Suggest a coffee shop or a tasty lunch spot for an easy option that he may be more likely to agree to—who doesn’t like lunch or coffee?\\nTry, “Hey, I’m starving. Wanna grab some lunch?” or “I’d kill for a coffee right now. You want to hit that new cafe with me?”\\n10. Frame your question as an offer to hang out.\\nMake it seem like he has a chance to spend time with you.\\nMake yourself the prize that he can potentially win by putting the ball in his court whenever you ask him to hang out. Turn the offer around so that he gets a chance to hang out with you rather than you asking if he wants to see you. He may be more intrigued and likely to agree!\\nFor instance, try asking “Oh, by the way, I’m going to the museum in the city this weekend. Feel free to join” instead of, “Do you want to go to the museum with me this weekend?”\\n11. Give him an easy out if you want less pressure.\\nMake it easy for him to say no so he doesn’t feel obligated.\\nIf you’re really worried about him turning you down, or you don’t want to make him feel like he has to agree to hang out with you, give him the option to say no without any consequences. Tell him it’s totally cool if he can’t make it. He may say yes, he may say no, but you managed to ask him!\\nYou could try, “I’m going to see the new Marvel movie sometime this weekend if you want to come. No worries if not!”\\nYou could also try, “Hey, feel free to say no, but I’m going to 80s night at this bar tonight if you wanna join!”\\n12. Text him less after he agrees.\\nAvoid sending a ton of messages or it could turn him off.\\nResist the temptation to follow up with a bunch of texts once he says yes. Hang back and just wait until you get to see him. Congrats, you’ve done it! Don’t mess it up by blowing up his phone and you’re golden.\\nIf he says no, don’t worry about it. He may change his mind in the future or he could be busy. Things may change in the future.\\nTips\\nIf you have mutual friends, you could try inviting him to hang out with a few people he already knows. It could make him more likely to say yes.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you’re wondering how you can text a guy and get him to hang out with you, have no fear! Guys can sometimes seem like a puzzle that’s impossible to figure out, but the truth is, you may be over-complicating things. There are actually plenty of ways you can pull it off. To help you do it, we’ve put together a list of tips and strategies you can use to get together with him—whether it’s for some Netflix and chill or just a casual hang.This article is based on an interview with our relationship coach, Imad Jbara. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Boost his ego a bit to get things started.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell him he’s charming, funny, or smart before you ask.\", \"描述\": \"Butter him up with a few messages that talk about some of his qualities that you like and admire. He’ll love it and he may be more open and receptive to hanging out with you when you ask him\\nTry texting, “You might be one of the funniest people I know” or “You little charmer you.”\\nYou could also try, “It’s always refreshing to talk to an intelligent guy. You’re such a brainiac.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use flirty questions to loosen him up.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep it lighthearted and fun to ease the tension and get him talking.\", \"描述\": \"Ask questions to keep the conversation moving. Inject some playful teasing and flirting into your questions so he opens up and feels comfortable talking to you, which may make him more likely to want to spend more time with you.\\nTry asking, “How are you single? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. It means people like me might have a chance. But how come you’re not in a relationship?”\\nYou could also try, “What’s your family like? Got any rich uncles I should know about so I can start scheming now?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell him you should hang out to gauge his interest.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk about it hypothetically to see how he feels.\", \"描述\": \"Bring up the idea of hanging out without actually asking and see how he reacts. If he’s really open to the idea, great! It’ll be super easy for you to follow up and ask him. If he’s not super into it, you can just back off without having risked putting yourself out there completely.\\nTry texting, “We should get together sometime!” or keep it more casual with something like, “Dude, we have to hang out someday.”\\nYou could also try, “We should grab dinner sometime” or “I haven’t been to the movies in forever! Let’s go someday.”\\nIf he reacts sort of neutrally and isn’t super for or against the idea of hanging out, no worries. You may still be able to ask him without getting rejected.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask about his availability.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out when he’s free before you ask him to hang out.\", \"描述\": \"If you already have plans or an event in mind that you want to ask him to come to, ask if he’s free on that day and time. If you’re trying to make plans with him, find out his general availability so it’ll be easier to ask him to hang out when you know he’s free.\\nFor instance, you could ask, “Are you busy Friday night around 7?” or “What are you up to this weekend? Got any plans?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Choose something specific to invite him to.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"He may be more likely to agree to it.\", \"描述\": \"Avoid asking him to hang out in vague terms or he might be more likely to turn you down or half-heartedly commit to the idea (and he might not follow through). Instead, have a specific event or location in mind when you ask and he might be more down for it.\\nFor example, say, “Hey, do you want to check out the new Italian restaurant with me on Friday” instead of “Hey, do you want to grab dinner sometime?”\\nYou could also try, “I was going to go to the art exhibit that’s in town right now. Wanna come with?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Say you need a wingman.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make him feel like you need his help.\", \"描述\": \"If you really just want to hang out as friends, ask him to join you as a wingman who can help you navigate a bar, party, or even a single’s event. Even if you maybe like him as more than a friend, it could make him more attracted to you if you enlist his help in a non-romantic way.\\nYou could try, “Hey, I’ve got this work party I have to go to, do you wanna be my wingman for it?”\\nYou could also try, “There’s a single’s night at this club I want to go to. Will you be my wingman for it?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Include him in your current plans.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask him to join you if you already have something to do.\", \"描述\": \"Make the ask less awkward by talking about your existing plans and inviting them to come along with you. It’ll feel more natural and he just might be more willing to join.\\nFor instance, you could try, “Hey, I’m having some friends over to watch the Olympics this weekend. Feel free to join us!”\\nYou could also try, “There’s a free yoga class at the park this Saturday that I’m going to. You should come with me!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Invite him out for drinks with some friends.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"He may be more likely to come if there are other people.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a guy to come hang out with you alone could be a little intimidating for him. Tell him you’re going somewhere with some friends and it may feel more casual and fun, which could make him more likely to say yes. It’ll also be no big deal if he can’t make it—you can just go have fun with your friends!\\nTry, “Hey! A bunch of us are going to grab some pizza and drinks this Friday night. You wanna come?”\\nYou could also text, “Some friends invited me out to an EDM show. Wanna tag along with us?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Ask if he wants to grab coffee or lunch.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep it casual and low-pressure.\", \"描述\": \"If you really just want to hang out as a friend or if you’re worried he might say no to a night-time invite, try asking him to get together during the day. Suggest a coffee shop or a tasty lunch spot for an easy option that he may be more likely to agree to—who doesn’t like lunch or coffee?\\nTry, “Hey, I’m starving. Wanna grab some lunch?” or “I’d kill for a coffee right now. You want to hit that new cafe with me?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Frame your question as an offer to hang out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it seem like he has a chance to spend time with you.\", \"描述\": \"Make yourself the prize that he can potentially win by putting the ball in his court whenever you ask him to hang out. Turn the offer around so that he gets a chance to hang out with you rather than you asking if he wants to see you. He may be more intrigued and likely to agree!\\nFor instance, try asking “Oh, by the way, I’m going to the museum in the city this weekend. Feel free to join” instead of, “Do you want to go to the museum with me this weekend?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Give him an easy out if you want less pressure.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make it easy for him to say no so he doesn’t feel obligated.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re really worried about him turning you down, or you don’t want to make him feel like he has to agree to hang out with you, give him the option to say no without any consequences. Tell him it’s totally cool if he can’t make it. He may say yes, he may say no, but you managed to ask him!\\nYou could try, “I’m going to see the new Marvel movie sometime this weekend if you want to come. No worries if not!”\\nYou could also try, “Hey, feel free to say no, but I’m going to 80s night at this bar tonight if you wanna join!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"Text him less after he agrees.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid sending a ton of messages or it could turn him off.\", \"描述\": \"Resist the temptation to follow up with a bunch of texts once he says yes. Hang back and just wait until you get to see him. Congrats, you’ve done it! Don’t mess it up by blowing up his phone and you’re golden.\\nIf he says no, don’t worry about it. He may change his mind in the future or he could be busy. Things may change in the future.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have mutual friends, you could try inviting him to hang out with a few people he already knows. It could make him more likely to say yes.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,581 | How to Ask a Guy to Hook Up over Text | 1. Breaking the Ice with Flirting
1-1. Be yourself when you text him.
Don’t lie about yourself in a text, because that would be awkward when you meet the guy face-to-face. Don’t give the impression that you’d be down for something that you’re not comfortable with when you meet in person.
For example, you shouldn’t say in a text message that you would be comfortable doing a certain sexual act that you really aren’t comfortable with.
Text about something that you’ve done and have experience with, and then go from there.
1-2. Talk about shared experiences.
Maybe you’ve already shared a couple experiences, and you can start a conversation about something you’ve done together. This shows that you care about the time you spent together previously.
For instance, you can say, “That band you told me about is playing this weekend. You going?” Or you can say, “Hi cutie! How do you think you did on the English test?”
1-3. Use his name in your first text of the day.
Drop his name here and there throughout the day while you’re texting. This will keep him engaged in conversation and make him feel closer to you.
Use or create a nickname for him to make him feel closer to you.
For example, call him Prince Charming if he’s like your dream date.
A cute name like Pumpkin is perfect for a guy who is sweet and bright like a pumpkin.
1-4. Ask an open-ended question to start a conversation.
The guy will be flattered that you want to have a conversation with him. He’ll know his opinions are appreciated, and that you have a genuine interest in knowing more about him.
Keep the questions simple and not too philosophical. For example, ask him, “How was your mini vacation this week? As fun as you expected?”
Another example of dialog would be, “How was your friend’s birthday yesterday?”
If you’re in the same school, you could ask, “Noticed you still weren’t back at school today. How are you feeling?”
1-5. Compliment him on his looks, achievements, or abilities.
Men enjoy praise as much as women, so say adoring and admiring things to him. Don’t overdo it, though, because you’ll seem insincere.
For example, say something about his appearance, such as, “I just want to be upfront and say you’re hot.”
You could praise him for dinner and entertainment the previous night, “Had fun last night. Thanks again for feeding and entertaining me.”
1-6. Say something funny to make him laugh.
This will break the ice a bit more, and there’s a chance that it may make him more interested in seeing you. Make a humorous statement about something you both saw or talked about recently. You may also say something flirtatious that would make him laugh out loud at the text.
For example, say something funny and flirty at the same time, such as, “Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.”
You could also text, “Stop thinking about me. I said stop!”
2. Hooking Up with Him
2-1. Get a feel for whether he wants to hookup.
If you want to go out on a date and feel like you shouldn’t be too forward, ask him indirectly. For example, tell him what you’re doing this weekend, and see how he responds.
You could text, “What are your plans for the weekend? I’m going out to eat. You?”
Another example is, “Don’t know about you, but I predict I’ll be parched after work Thursday. Drinks?”
2-2. Text him something that will leave him wanting more.
Leave a conversation at a point where you’re both deeply engaged. This will leave the guy with something to look forward to in your next talk. It won’t be any fun if you keep texting until you can’t think of anything more to say, or when he stops responding.
For instance, say, “Past my bed time…enjoyed talking with you. Talk to you tomorrow?”
For something more playful, say, “Got to go to girls’ night out. Drunk-text you later?”
This opens the door for him to invite himself along.
2-3. Be direct and honest that you want to hookup.
But don’t just say, “Come over to my place for sex.” If you want your chances of success to be higher at enticing a man into your home for intercourse, you need to put that phrase in sexier terms.
For instance, say something like, “We’ll watch Netflix on the couch, eat ice cream, and cuddle.” This may not describe intercourse, but it implies that cuddling on the couch will lead somewhere more intimate.
2-4. Ask him if he’s awake.
Send the booty call text, “Are you up?” If he is awake, get down to business about what it is you want from him.
When he responds that he’s awake, ask, “Want to come over and hook up?”
You could also recall back to a previous hookup and say, “Remember when we did X? Let’s do it again tonight.”
2-5. Ask him out indirectly.
Frame your questions in a way that refers to going out somewhere, but also gives him a chance to invite himself along. You can use the interests you have in common as a framework for the question.
For example, if you both like Mexican food, say, “That new Mexican place has great guacamole. I think you’ll like it as much as I do.”
If you share a love of doughnuts, text him, “Tried that new doughnut shop tonight. You need to check it out!”
2-6. Take a direct approach when asking him to have sex.
If you’re not the type to beat around the bush and be coy, it’s fine to be direct in asking him to come over and have sex. If the guy doesn’t grasp indirect language very well, there are options you can use that don’t involve cutesy texts and emojis.
You can just go for it and say, “Want to come over and hook up?” Or try, “I want to kiss you right now. Come over.”
Just saying, “Let’s have sex,” is pretty direct and can’t be confused as you implying anything else.
2-7. Offer to pay for a ride to your place.
When you know the man wants to hook up, ask something like, “Can I send you an Uber to bring you here?” This will get you a booty call, and the guy will get a free ride.
3. Preparing Yourself for the Hookup
3-1. Stock condoms before the date.
It’s important to remember to be safe and use protection. Running out to get condoms in the middle of the night is awkward, and it can kill the mood quickly. Don’t assume your partner will always have condoms, and even if he did, you might need a replacement.
Drug stores always have condoms, so you can buy them during the day before your date.
3-2. Make your bedroom presentable for a guest.
While you may not need the bedroom to have sex, you probably will end up there with the guy at some point. Cleaning it and making it presentable will make it more comfortable for intercourse. Take out the trash, light candles, and put away all your clothes.
Remember to hide any remnants of previous sexual encounters, so you avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.
3-3. Clean up and get dressed for the date.
Do what makes you feel comfortable and presentable to the man you’re seducing. If you regularly shave certain areas of your body, then do that. Shower, do your hair, or apply makeup if you wear it.
Check your skin for dryness, and apply moisturizer.
Wear clothes that you feel comfortable and presentable in.
Apply any fragrance you like, so you smell good.
3-4. Keep your kinky toys and clothing ready to use.
You may or may not know any of the guy’s sexual kinks. If you and he like roleplay, then have some costumes or toys ready to use just in case.
For example, keep smaller kinky toys in your nightstand, and roleplaying clothes in a box under your bed.
Tips
Use correct grammar while texting. Using a lot of abbreviations and misspelled words without punctuation is a turnoff.[10]
X
Research source
It’s okay to say no if your hookup date is pressuring you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Warnings
No one should feel pressured to consume alcohol. It’s fine to encourage him to drink with you, but don’t try to get the guy drunk and take advantage of him.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Breaking the Ice with Flirting\\n1-1. Be yourself when you text him.\\nDon’t lie about yourself in a text, because that would be awkward when you meet the guy face-to-face. Don’t give the impression that you’d be down for something that you’re not comfortable with when you meet in person.\\nFor example, you shouldn’t say in a text message that you would be comfortable doing a certain sexual act that you really aren’t comfortable with.\\nText about something that you’ve done and have experience with, and then go from there.\\n1-2. Talk about shared experiences.\\nMaybe you’ve already shared a couple experiences, and you can start a conversation about something you’ve done together. This shows that you care about the time you spent together previously.\\nFor instance, you can say, “That band you told me about is playing this weekend. You going?” Or you can say, “Hi cutie! How do you think you did on the English test?”\\n1-3. Use his name in your first text of the day.\\nDrop his name here and there throughout the day while you’re texting. This will keep him engaged in conversation and make him feel closer to you.\\nUse or create a nickname for him to make him feel closer to you.\\nFor example, call him Prince Charming if he’s like your dream date.\\nA cute name like Pumpkin is perfect for a guy who is sweet and bright like a pumpkin.\\n1-4. Ask an open-ended question to start a conversation.\\nThe guy will be flattered that you want to have a conversation with him. He’ll know his opinions are appreciated, and that you have a genuine interest in knowing more about him.\\nKeep the questions simple and not too philosophical. For example, ask him, “How was your mini vacation this week? As fun as you expected?”\\nAnother example of dialog would be, “How was your friend’s birthday yesterday?”\\nIf you’re in the same school, you could ask, “Noticed you still weren’t back at school today. How are you feeling?”\\n1-5. Compliment him on his looks, achievements, or abilities.\\nMen enjoy praise as much as women, so say adoring and admiring things to him. Don’t overdo it, though, because you’ll seem insincere.\\nFor example, say something about his appearance, such as, “I just want to be upfront and say you’re hot.”\\nYou could praise him for dinner and entertainment the previous night, “Had fun last night. Thanks again for feeding and entertaining me.”\\n1-6. Say something funny to make him laugh.\\nThis will break the ice a bit more, and there’s a chance that it may make him more interested in seeing you. Make a humorous statement about something you both saw or talked about recently. You may also say something flirtatious that would make him laugh out loud at the text.\\nFor example, say something funny and flirty at the same time, such as, “Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.”\\nYou could also text, “Stop thinking about me. I said stop!”\\n2. Hooking Up with Him\\n2-1. Get a feel for whether he wants to hookup.\\nIf you want to go out on a date and feel like you shouldn’t be too forward, ask him indirectly. For example, tell him what you’re doing this weekend, and see how he responds.\\nYou could text, “What are your plans for the weekend? I’m going out to eat. You?”\\nAnother example is, “Don’t know about you, but I predict I’ll be parched after work Thursday. Drinks?”\\n2-2. Text him something that will leave him wanting more.\\nLeave a conversation at a point where you’re both deeply engaged. This will leave the guy with something to look forward to in your next talk. It won’t be any fun if you keep texting until you can’t think of anything more to say, or when he stops responding.\\nFor instance, say, “Past my bed time…enjoyed talking with you. Talk to you tomorrow?”\\nFor something more playful, say, “Got to go to girls’ night out. Drunk-text you later?”\\nThis opens the door for him to invite himself along.\\n2-3. Be direct and honest that you want to hookup.\\nBut don’t just say, “Come over to my place for sex.” If you want your chances of success to be higher at enticing a man into your home for intercourse, you need to put that phrase in sexier terms.\\nFor instance, say something like, “We’ll watch Netflix on the couch, eat ice cream, and cuddle.” This may not describe intercourse, but it implies that cuddling on the couch will lead somewhere more intimate.\\n2-4. Ask him if he’s awake.\\nSend the booty call text, “Are you up?” If he is awake, get down to business about what it is you want from him.\\nWhen he responds that he’s awake, ask, “Want to come over and hook up?”\\nYou could also recall back to a previous hookup and say, “Remember when we did X? Let’s do it again tonight.”\\n2-5. Ask him out indirectly.\\nFrame your questions in a way that refers to going out somewhere, but also gives him a chance to invite himself along. You can use the interests you have in common as a framework for the question.\\nFor example, if you both like Mexican food, say, “That new Mexican place has great guacamole. I think you’ll like it as much as I do.”\\nIf you share a love of doughnuts, text him, “Tried that new doughnut shop tonight. You need to check it out!”\\n2-6. Take a direct approach when asking him to have sex.\\nIf you’re not the type to beat around the bush and be coy, it’s fine to be direct in asking him to come over and have sex. If the guy doesn’t grasp indirect language very well, there are options you can use that don’t involve cutesy texts and emojis.\\nYou can just go for it and say, “Want to come over and hook up?” Or try, “I want to kiss you right now. Come over.”\\nJust saying, “Let’s have sex,” is pretty direct and can’t be confused as you implying anything else.\\n2-7. Offer to pay for a ride to your place.\\nWhen you know the man wants to hook up, ask something like, “Can I send you an Uber to bring you here?” This will get you a booty call, and the guy will get a free ride.\\n3. Preparing Yourself for the Hookup\\n3-1. Stock condoms before the date.\\nIt’s important to remember to be safe and use protection. Running out to get condoms in the middle of the night is awkward, and it can kill the mood quickly. Don’t assume your partner will always have condoms, and even if he did, you might need a replacement.\\nDrug stores always have condoms, so you can buy them during the day before your date.\\n3-2. Make your bedroom presentable for a guest.\\nWhile you may not need the bedroom to have sex, you probably will end up there with the guy at some point. Cleaning it and making it presentable will make it more comfortable for intercourse. Take out the trash, light candles, and put away all your clothes.\\nRemember to hide any remnants of previous sexual encounters, so you avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.\\n3-3. Clean up and get dressed for the date.\\nDo what makes you feel comfortable and presentable to the man you’re seducing. If you regularly shave certain areas of your body, then do that. Shower, do your hair, or apply makeup if you wear it.\\nCheck your skin for dryness, and apply moisturizer.\\nWear clothes that you feel comfortable and presentable in.\\nApply any fragrance you like, so you smell good.\\n3-4. Keep your kinky toys and clothing ready to use.\\nYou may or may not know any of the guy’s sexual kinks. If you and he like roleplay, then have some costumes or toys ready to use just in case.\\nFor example, keep smaller kinky toys in your nightstand, and roleplaying clothes in a box under your bed.\\nTips\\nUse correct grammar while texting. Using a lot of abbreviations and misspelled words without punctuation is a turnoff.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIt’s okay to say no if your hookup date is pressuring you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.\\nWarnings\\nNo one should feel pressured to consume alcohol. It’s fine to encourage him to drink with you, but don’t try to get the guy drunk and take advantage of him.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Hooking up with a guy through text messaging can feel awkward and intimidating. To successfully hook up with a guy via text, you need to be able to flirt, ask to hookup over text message, and to prepare yourself for the date.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Breaking the Ice with Flirting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be yourself when you text him.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t lie about yourself in a text, because that would be awkward when you meet the guy face-to-face. Don’t give the impression that you’d be down for something that you’re not comfortable with when you meet in person.\\nFor example, you shouldn’t say in a text message that you would be comfortable doing a certain sexual act that you really aren’t comfortable with.\\nText about something that you’ve done and have experience with, and then go from there.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Talk about shared experiences.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you’ve already shared a couple experiences, and you can start a conversation about something you’ve done together. This shows that you care about the time you spent together previously.\\nFor instance, you can say, “That band you told me about is playing this weekend. You going?” Or you can say, “Hi cutie! How do you think you did on the English test?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Use his name in your first text of the day.\", \"描述\": \"Drop his name here and there throughout the day while you’re texting. This will keep him engaged in conversation and make him feel closer to you.\\nUse or create a nickname for him to make him feel closer to you.\\nFor example, call him Prince Charming if he’s like your dream date.\\nA cute name like Pumpkin is perfect for a guy who is sweet and bright like a pumpkin.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask an open-ended question to start a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"The guy will be flattered that you want to have a conversation with him. He’ll know his opinions are appreciated, and that you have a genuine interest in knowing more about him.\\nKeep the questions simple and not too philosophical. For example, ask him, “How was your mini vacation this week? As fun as you expected?”\\nAnother example of dialog would be, “How was your friend’s birthday yesterday?”\\nIf you’re in the same school, you could ask, “Noticed you still weren’t back at school today. How are you feeling?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Compliment him on his looks, achievements, or abilities.\", \"描述\": \"Men enjoy praise as much as women, so say adoring and admiring things to him. Don’t overdo it, though, because you’ll seem insincere.\\nFor example, say something about his appearance, such as, “I just want to be upfront and say you’re hot.”\\nYou could praise him for dinner and entertainment the previous night, “Had fun last night. Thanks again for feeding and entertaining me.”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Say something funny to make him laugh.\", \"描述\": \"This will break the ice a bit more, and there’s a chance that it may make him more interested in seeing you. Make a humorous statement about something you both saw or talked about recently. You may also say something flirtatious that would make him laugh out loud at the text.\\nFor example, say something funny and flirty at the same time, such as, “Stop making me think about you. I’m busy.”\\nYou could also text, “Stop thinking about me. I said stop!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Hooking Up with Him\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Get a feel for whether he wants to hookup.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to go out on a date and feel like you shouldn’t be too forward, ask him indirectly. For example, tell him what you’re doing this weekend, and see how he responds.\\nYou could text, “What are your plans for the weekend? I’m going out to eat. You?”\\nAnother example is, “Don’t know about you, but I predict I’ll be parched after work Thursday. Drinks?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Text him something that will leave him wanting more.\", \"描述\": \"Leave a conversation at a point where you’re both deeply engaged. This will leave the guy with something to look forward to in your next talk. It won’t be any fun if you keep texting until you can’t think of anything more to say, or when he stops responding.\\nFor instance, say, “Past my bed time…enjoyed talking with you. Talk to you tomorrow?”\\nFor something more playful, say, “Got to go to girls’ night out. Drunk-text you later?”\\nThis opens the door for him to invite himself along.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be direct and honest that you want to hookup.\", \"描述\": \"But don’t just say, “Come over to my place for sex.” If you want your chances of success to be higher at enticing a man into your home for intercourse, you need to put that phrase in sexier terms.\\nFor instance, say something like, “We’ll watch Netflix on the couch, eat ice cream, and cuddle.” This may not describe intercourse, but it implies that cuddling on the couch will lead somewhere more intimate.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask him if he’s awake.\", \"描述\": \"Send the booty call text, “Are you up?” If he is awake, get down to business about what it is you want from him.\\nWhen he responds that he’s awake, ask, “Want to come over and hook up?”\\nYou could also recall back to a previous hookup and say, “Remember when we did X? Let’s do it again tonight.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask him out indirectly.\", \"描述\": \"Frame your questions in a way that refers to going out somewhere, but also gives him a chance to invite himself along. You can use the interests you have in common as a framework for the question.\\nFor example, if you both like Mexican food, say, “That new Mexican place has great guacamole. I think you’ll like it as much as I do.”\\nIf you share a love of doughnuts, text him, “Tried that new doughnut shop tonight. You need to check it out!”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take a direct approach when asking him to have sex.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re not the type to beat around the bush and be coy, it’s fine to be direct in asking him to come over and have sex. If the guy doesn’t grasp indirect language very well, there are options you can use that don’t involve cutesy texts and emojis.\\nYou can just go for it and say, “Want to come over and hook up?” Or try, “I want to kiss you right now. Come over.”\\nJust saying, “Let’s have sex,” is pretty direct and can’t be confused as you implying anything else.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Offer to pay for a ride to your place.\", \"描述\": \"When you know the man wants to hook up, ask something like, “Can I send you an Uber to bring you here?” This will get you a booty call, and the guy will get a free ride.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Preparing Yourself for the Hookup\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stock condoms before the date.\", \"描述\": \"It’s important to remember to be safe and use protection. Running out to get condoms in the middle of the night is awkward, and it can kill the mood quickly. Don’t assume your partner will always have condoms, and even if he did, you might need a replacement.\\nDrug stores always have condoms, so you can buy them during the day before your date.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Make your bedroom presentable for a guest.\", \"描述\": \"While you may not need the bedroom to have sex, you probably will end up there with the guy at some point. Cleaning it and making it presentable will make it more comfortable for intercourse. Take out the trash, light candles, and put away all your clothes.\\nRemember to hide any remnants of previous sexual encounters, so you avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Clean up and get dressed for the date.\", \"描述\": \"Do what makes you feel comfortable and presentable to the man you’re seducing. If you regularly shave certain areas of your body, then do that. Shower, do your hair, or apply makeup if you wear it.\\nCheck your skin for dryness, and apply moisturizer.\\nWear clothes that you feel comfortable and presentable in.\\nApply any fragrance you like, so you smell good.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep your kinky toys and clothing ready to use.\", \"描述\": \"You may or may not know any of the guy’s sexual kinks. If you and he like roleplay, then have some costumes or toys ready to use just in case.\\nFor example, keep smaller kinky toys in your nightstand, and roleplaying clothes in a box under your bed.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Use correct grammar while texting. Using a lot of abbreviations and misspelled words without punctuation is a turnoff.[10]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"It’s okay to say no if your hookup date is pressuring you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"No one should feel pressured to consume alcohol. It’s fine to encourage him to drink with you, but don’t try to get the guy drunk and take advantage of him.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,582 | How to Ask a Guy to a Movie over Text | 1. Take a deep breath and relax.
You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about here!
Take a long, slow inhale through your nose, and breath out slowly through your mouth. It’s easy to let your thoughts run crazy on this one, but movie dates are super low key. Even if he does say no, what’s the worst that happens? The odds are you may be overthinking this one, so just hit send!
It is totally normal to be a little anxious about asking someone out. Everyone in the entire history of people asking other people out feels the exact same way you do right now.
It may help to remind yourself that hearing “no” is preferable to that lingering feeling of “what could have been.” Even if this doesn’t go the way you want it to, at least you can move on.
2. Give yourself a confidence boost if you need one.
If you just can’t push yourself to send the text, that’s okay.
It’s scary to ask a guy out when you don’t know what they’re going to say, but don’t talk yourself out of it. Instead, do something that makes you feel like the best version of you. Remind yourself that you’re a catch and that he’d be lucky to go out with you. You could also:
Start listing things you’re thankful for. When you express gratitude for what you do have, the things you don’t have won’t seem so scary.
Repeat a positive mantra, like, “I am safe. I can do this,” over and over again.
Strike a few power poses in the mirror. It sounds silly, but it’s scientifically proven to work!
3. Pick a fun, low-key movie to invite him to.
Check your local theatre listings to see what’s playing.
You don’t want to suggest a movie date and then have no movie in mind! Poke around online to see what’s playing near you. Try to pick something fun and playful to see that will interest both of you.
Take your shared interests into account. If both of you really enjoy sports and there’s a new biopic out about a famous basketball player, choose that!
Romantic comedies are always a safe bet for a date. In fact, any comedy should make a solid date movie if the two of you have been throwing jokes back and forth over text.
Horror movies are a good choice if you want an “excuse” to hold him tight or lean against his shoulder.
If you want some privacy in the theatre to do some potential smooching, pick a movie that isn’t super popular right now, or go really late at night on a weekday.
4. Flirt and chat a bit over text to build up to the question.
If you’re trying to feel things out, drop some subtle hints while you chat.
After you open up with the standard, “Hey!” or, “How are you?” try to guide the conversation towards a more playful and flirtatious place. Send him a photo to ask him what he thinks of your outfit, or throw out a cute gif with some flirty undertones. Feel free to include a flirty emoji here or there as you see fit! You might also try something like:
“I’m excited to see you at school this week. I have so much to tell you about my weekend!”
“I saw that photo you just posted on Instagram. That’s a really cute outfit.”
If you aren’t ready to flirt yet, that’s totally fine. Just have a conversation. Ask him how his day was or talk about something both of you care about. Just let things develop organically.
5. Ask him out on the date.
Figure out how you want to ask him out and draft the message.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping things casual on this one. It’s a movie, not a vacation to Europe! Play it smooth and spend a minute or two crafting your message. Don’t feel weird about making the first move either; guys actually really like that. You could say:
“Hey, sorry if this is really forward, but do you want to see a movie with me this week?”
“Look, I think you’re cute. If you think I’m cute, we should catch a movie sometime.”
“Are you into scary movies? I want to see that new horror movie but I don’t have any cute guys to take me!”
“I know you mentioned you love superhero movies. Do you want to go see that new Batman movie with me?”
“Hey, I think we’ve got some great chemistry here. Want to see a movie with me this weekend? If not, no worries.”
6. Get excited and work out the details if he accepts.
If he’s in, let him know you’re amped (but don’t overdo it).
Don’t make a big deal out of it or anything, but text him back to let him know you’re happy and work out a time and date. Then, continue casually chatting. The movie date is a super low-key option, so just play it cool and smooth. If there’s a bunch of time in between now and your movie date, just keep in touch and talk to him like you normally would.
If he immediately throws out a different suggestion for the movie, just go with it.
You might try adding a fun twist to your plans. For example, you could suggest the two of you hatch a plan to smuggle your own snacks and drinks inside. Alternatively, you could just play it safe and suggest hitting the theatre’s arcade up before the date.
7. Keep it cool if he says no.
If he isn’t ready for anything and he declines your date, play it off.
Even if you feel like a knot developing in your gut, respect his decision. It sucks hearing that someone isn’t on board with seeing you for a date, but at least you took your chance! Keep your head high and type out your response. There’s someone out there for you. You might say:
“I totally get it. No worries. I hope we can still be friends!”
“I understand. I’ve definitely gone through periods where I didn’t want to date anyone either, so I get it.”
8. Don’t freak out if he doesn’t respond right away.
He might be busy, or he may be figuring out how to respond.
In either case, don’t text him 3-4 times while you’re waiting for the response. It just might come off the wrong way if you overdo it with a bunch of texts. Asking a guy out on a movie date over text is all about keeping things casual and low-stress, so don’t freak out! Take a breather, put the phone down, and just wait!
If it’s been more than 24 hours and you know he’s not out of the country or something like that, feel free to shoot him another text. Just don’t be accusational or anything; a gif of someone checking their watch is a fun way to send the message.
9. Text him after the movie if you had a good time.
If your date goes well, shoot him a text when you get home!
This is a great way to get a read on how he felt, and if there was any chemistry there, it’s a great way to set up a second date. A lot of people get hung up on when to do this. Setting some arbitrary time rule is just pointless, so text him when you get home, or early the next morning. You might say:
“I had a super fun time with you last night. That ending was nuts! I still can’t get over it”
“Hey cutie! Had fun tonight. Would love to catch another movie or grab dinner next week if you're up to it :)”
“I just got home! Thank you for the wonderful night. I hope we can do it again if you’re interested.”
Warnings
Avoid choosing a movie for your date that has the potential to be depressing. A date is not the ideal place to be checking out a movie about an old man struggling with dementia.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Take a deep breath and relax.\\nYou’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about here!\\nTake a long, slow inhale through your nose, and breath out slowly through your mouth. It’s easy to let your thoughts run crazy on this one, but movie dates are super low key. Even if he does say no, what’s the worst that happens? The odds are you may be overthinking this one, so just hit send!\\nIt is totally normal to be a little anxious about asking someone out. Everyone in the entire history of people asking other people out feels the exact same way you do right now.\\nIt may help to remind yourself that hearing “no” is preferable to that lingering feeling of “what could have been.” Even if this doesn’t go the way you want it to, at least you can move on.\\n2. Give yourself a confidence boost if you need one.\\nIf you just can’t push yourself to send the text, that’s okay.\\nIt’s scary to ask a guy out when you don’t know what they’re going to say, but don’t talk yourself out of it. Instead, do something that makes you feel like the best version of you. Remind yourself that you’re a catch and that he’d be lucky to go out with you. You could also:\\nStart listing things you’re thankful for. When you express gratitude for what you do have, the things you don’t have won’t seem so scary.\\nRepeat a positive mantra, like, “I am safe. I can do this,” over and over again.\\nStrike a few power poses in the mirror. It sounds silly, but it’s scientifically proven to work!\\n3. Pick a fun, low-key movie to invite him to.\\nCheck your local theatre listings to see what’s playing.\\nYou don’t want to suggest a movie date and then have no movie in mind! Poke around online to see what’s playing near you. Try to pick something fun and playful to see that will interest both of you.\\nTake your shared interests into account. If both of you really enjoy sports and there’s a new biopic out about a famous basketball player, choose that!\\nRomantic comedies are always a safe bet for a date. In fact, any comedy should make a solid date movie if the two of you have been throwing jokes back and forth over text.\\nHorror movies are a good choice if you want an “excuse” to hold him tight or lean against his shoulder.\\nIf you want some privacy in the theatre to do some potential smooching, pick a movie that isn’t super popular right now, or go really late at night on a weekday.\\n4. Flirt and chat a bit over text to build up to the question.\\nIf you’re trying to feel things out, drop some subtle hints while you chat.\\nAfter you open up with the standard, “Hey!” or, “How are you?” try to guide the conversation towards a more playful and flirtatious place. Send him a photo to ask him what he thinks of your outfit, or throw out a cute gif with some flirty undertones. Feel free to include a flirty emoji here or there as you see fit! You might also try something like:\\n“I’m excited to see you at school this week. I have so much to tell you about my weekend!”\\n“I saw that photo you just posted on Instagram. That’s a really cute outfit.”\\nIf you aren’t ready to flirt yet, that’s totally fine. Just have a conversation. Ask him how his day was or talk about something both of you care about. Just let things develop organically.\\n5. Ask him out on the date.\\nFigure out how you want to ask him out and draft the message.\\nThere is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping things casual on this one. It’s a movie, not a vacation to Europe! Play it smooth and spend a minute or two crafting your message. Don’t feel weird about making the first move either; guys actually really like that. You could say:\\n“Hey, sorry if this is really forward, but do you want to see a movie with me this week?”\\n“Look, I think you’re cute. If you think I’m cute, we should catch a movie sometime.”\\n“Are you into scary movies? I want to see that new horror movie but I don’t have any cute guys to take me!”\\n“I know you mentioned you love superhero movies. Do you want to go see that new Batman movie with me?”\\n“Hey, I think we’ve got some great chemistry here. Want to see a movie with me this weekend? If not, no worries.”\\n6. Get excited and work out the details if he accepts.\\nIf he’s in, let him know you’re amped (but don’t overdo it).\\nDon’t make a big deal out of it or anything, but text him back to let him know you’re happy and work out a time and date. Then, continue casually chatting. The movie date is a super low-key option, so just play it cool and smooth. If there’s a bunch of time in between now and your movie date, just keep in touch and talk to him like you normally would.\\nIf he immediately throws out a different suggestion for the movie, just go with it.\\nYou might try adding a fun twist to your plans. For example, you could suggest the two of you hatch a plan to smuggle your own snacks and drinks inside. Alternatively, you could just play it safe and suggest hitting the theatre’s arcade up before the date.\\n7. Keep it cool if he says no.\\nIf he isn’t ready for anything and he declines your date, play it off.\\nEven if you feel like a knot developing in your gut, respect his decision. It sucks hearing that someone isn’t on board with seeing you for a date, but at least you took your chance! Keep your head high and type out your response. There’s someone out there for you. You might say:\\n“I totally get it. No worries. I hope we can still be friends!”\\n“I understand. I’ve definitely gone through periods where I didn’t want to date anyone either, so I get it.”\\n8. Don’t freak out if he doesn’t respond right away.\\nHe might be busy, or he may be figuring out how to respond.\\nIn either case, don’t text him 3-4 times while you’re waiting for the response. It just might come off the wrong way if you overdo it with a bunch of texts. Asking a guy out on a movie date over text is all about keeping things casual and low-stress, so don’t freak out! Take a breather, put the phone down, and just wait!\\nIf it’s been more than 24 hours and you know he’s not out of the country or something like that, feel free to shoot him another text. Just don’t be accusational or anything; a gif of someone checking their watch is a fun way to send the message.\\n9. Text him after the movie if you had a good time.\\nIf your date goes well, shoot him a text when you get home!\\nThis is a great way to get a read on how he felt, and if there was any chemistry there, it’s a great way to set up a second date. A lot of people get hung up on when to do this. Setting some arbitrary time rule is just pointless, so text him when you get home, or early the next morning. You might say:\\n“I had a super fun time with you last night. That ending was nuts! I still can’t get over it”\\n“Hey cutie! Had fun tonight. Would love to catch another movie or grab dinner next week if you're up to it :)”\\n“I just got home! Thank you for the wonderful night. I hope we can do it again if you’re interested.”\\nWarnings\\nAvoid choosing a movie for your date that has the potential to be depressing. A date is not the ideal place to be checking out a movie about an old man struggling with dementia.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"A movie is a great choice for a first date. Watching something together gives the both of you stuff to talk about once the date is over, and a dark theatre can be the perfect place for some romantic hand holding and kissing if the date goes well! If you’ve been chatting with a guy casually, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking him out over text. Not only do guys appreciate someone asking them out for a change, but a movie date suggestion sent over text sends a really low-key vibe. If you want help figuring out exactly what you want to say, you’re in the right place!This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take a deep breath and relax.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about here!\", \"描述\": \"Take a long, slow inhale through your nose, and breath out slowly through your mouth. It’s easy to let your thoughts run crazy on this one, but movie dates are super low key. Even if he does say no, what’s the worst that happens? The odds are you may be overthinking this one, so just hit send!\\nIt is totally normal to be a little anxious about asking someone out. Everyone in the entire history of people asking other people out feels the exact same way you do right now.\\nIt may help to remind yourself that hearing “no” is preferable to that lingering feeling of “what could have been.” Even if this doesn’t go the way you want it to, at least you can move on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Give yourself a confidence boost if you need one.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you just can’t push yourself to send the text, that’s okay.\", \"描述\": \"It’s scary to ask a guy out when you don’t know what they’re going to say, but don’t talk yourself out of it. Instead, do something that makes you feel like the best version of you. Remind yourself that you’re a catch and that he’d be lucky to go out with you. You could also:\\nStart listing things you’re thankful for. When you express gratitude for what you do have, the things you don’t have won’t seem so scary.\\nRepeat a positive mantra, like, “I am safe. I can do this,” over and over again.\\nStrike a few power poses in the mirror. It sounds silly, but it’s scientifically proven to work!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Pick a fun, low-key movie to invite him to.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your local theatre listings to see what’s playing.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to suggest a movie date and then have no movie in mind! Poke around online to see what’s playing near you. Try to pick something fun and playful to see that will interest both of you.\\nTake your shared interests into account. If both of you really enjoy sports and there’s a new biopic out about a famous basketball player, choose that!\\nRomantic comedies are always a safe bet for a date. In fact, any comedy should make a solid date movie if the two of you have been throwing jokes back and forth over text.\\nHorror movies are a good choice if you want an “excuse” to hold him tight or lean against his shoulder.\\nIf you want some privacy in the theatre to do some potential smooching, pick a movie that isn’t super popular right now, or go really late at night on a weekday.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Flirt and chat a bit over text to build up to the question.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you’re trying to feel things out, drop some subtle hints while you chat.\", \"描述\": \"After you open up with the standard, “Hey!” or, “How are you?” try to guide the conversation towards a more playful and flirtatious place. Send him a photo to ask him what he thinks of your outfit, or throw out a cute gif with some flirty undertones. Feel free to include a flirty emoji here or there as you see fit! You might also try something like:\\n“I’m excited to see you at school this week. I have so much to tell you about my weekend!”\\n“I saw that photo you just posted on Instagram. That’s a really cute outfit.”\\nIf you aren’t ready to flirt yet, that’s totally fine. Just have a conversation. Ask him how his day was or talk about something both of you care about. Just let things develop organically.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask him out on the date.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out how you want to ask him out and draft the message.\", \"描述\": \"There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping things casual on this one. It’s a movie, not a vacation to Europe! Play it smooth and spend a minute or two crafting your message. Don’t feel weird about making the first move either; guys actually really like that. You could say:\\n“Hey, sorry if this is really forward, but do you want to see a movie with me this week?”\\n“Look, I think you’re cute. If you think I’m cute, we should catch a movie sometime.”\\n“Are you into scary movies? I want to see that new horror movie but I don’t have any cute guys to take me!”\\n“I know you mentioned you love superhero movies. Do you want to go see that new Batman movie with me?”\\n“Hey, I think we’ve got some great chemistry here. Want to see a movie with me this weekend? If not, no worries.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get excited and work out the details if he accepts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he’s in, let him know you’re amped (but don’t overdo it).\", \"描述\": \"Don’t make a big deal out of it or anything, but text him back to let him know you’re happy and work out a time and date. Then, continue casually chatting. The movie date is a super low-key option, so just play it cool and smooth. If there’s a bunch of time in between now and your movie date, just keep in touch and talk to him like you normally would.\\nIf he immediately throws out a different suggestion for the movie, just go with it.\\nYou might try adding a fun twist to your plans. For example, you could suggest the two of you hatch a plan to smuggle your own snacks and drinks inside. Alternatively, you could just play it safe and suggest hitting the theatre’s arcade up before the date.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Keep it cool if he says no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If he isn’t ready for anything and he declines your date, play it off.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you feel like a knot developing in your gut, respect his decision. It sucks hearing that someone isn’t on board with seeing you for a date, but at least you took your chance! Keep your head high and type out your response. There’s someone out there for you. You might say:\\n“I totally get it. No worries. I hope we can still be friends!”\\n“I understand. I’ve definitely gone through periods where I didn’t want to date anyone either, so I get it.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Don’t freak out if he doesn’t respond right away.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"He might be busy, or he may be figuring out how to respond.\", \"描述\": \"In either case, don’t text him 3-4 times while you’re waiting for the response. It just might come off the wrong way if you overdo it with a bunch of texts. Asking a guy out on a movie date over text is all about keeping things casual and low-stress, so don’t freak out! Take a breather, put the phone down, and just wait!\\nIf it’s been more than 24 hours and you know he’s not out of the country or something like that, feel free to shoot him another text. Just don’t be accusational or anything; a gif of someone checking their watch is a fun way to send the message.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Text him after the movie if you had a good time.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If your date goes well, shoot him a text when you get home!\", \"描述\": \"This is a great way to get a read on how he felt, and if there was any chemistry there, it’s a great way to set up a second date. A lot of people get hung up on when to do this. Setting some arbitrary time rule is just pointless, so text him when you get home, or early the next morning. You might say:\\n“I had a super fun time with you last night. That ending was nuts! I still can’t get over it”\\n“Hey cutie! Had fun tonight. Would love to catch another movie or grab dinner next week if you're up to it :)”\\n“I just got home! Thank you for the wonderful night. I hope we can do it again if you’re interested.”\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Avoid choosing a movie for your date that has the potential to be depressing. A date is not the ideal place to be checking out a movie about an old man struggling with dementia.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,583 | How to Ask a Guy to a School Dance | 1. Prepping Yourself
1-1. Determine whether or not he already has a date.
This will save you a great deal of time and trouble, and give you enough time to find another potential date if necessary.
If you are unsure, then ask one of his friends or someone in his social circle. Try to figure this out before asking him out.
If he has a girlfriend, then he is probably going with her.
1-2. Think about who else you would like to go with beforehand.
In the event that your first choice is taken, having backup will ensure that you are not left without a date to the dance.
1-3. Figure out how you want to ask him.
Consider asking him in person or via telephone if you have his number. It is also totally acceptable to ask him through email or Facebook message if you don't want to do it face-to-face.
2. Asking Him Out
2-1. Start off by greeting him at school or whenever you see him alone or send him a friendly text saying "Hey, how's it going?"
If you are doing the asking in person, then approach him and say hello.
Be sure to smile and act confident, even if you are extremely nervous. Most guys like girls who are confident and have self-esteem. (Don't act pompous or cocky, though).
Wear something that makes you feel attractive. If you feel beautiful on the inside, then it will show on the outside.
2-2. Bring up the topic of the dance.
Casually ask him whether or not he is going, and if he has made any plans.
If he already has another date, then ask him to ditch his current date to go with you. It is unfair to the other girl, and will come across as desperate and insensitive.
2-3. Ask him if he'd like to go with you.
Be sure to smile and look him in the eyes if you are doing the asking in person.
Share your current plans with him, if you have any. For example, if you and your girlfriends have rented a limousine, then tell him. This will help him make his decision, and show him that you have a fun evening planned.
2-4. Maintain your composure, regardless of his answer.
If he says yes, then tell him you are looking forward to it, but don't jump up and down screaming; you don't want to make him regret his decision! If he says no, then graciously tell him that there are no hard feelings, and move on.
2-5. Make the appropriate plans if he says yes.
Decide who will pick up whom, where you will meet, and what color dress you are wearing if it is a formal dance so that he can determine what color to wear.
Tips
Avoid asking him in front of a group of other people. It will make things uncomfortable for both parties, especially if his answer is no.
For the best results, ask out a boy who you think might be interested in you or who you are friends with. Though don't be afraid of asking your crush!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Prepping Yourself\\n1-1. Determine whether or not he already has a date.\\nThis will save you a great deal of time and trouble, and give you enough time to find another potential date if necessary.\\nIf you are unsure, then ask one of his friends or someone in his social circle. Try to figure this out before asking him out.\\nIf he has a girlfriend, then he is probably going with her.\\n1-2. Think about who else you would like to go with beforehand.\\nIn the event that your first choice is taken, having backup will ensure that you are not left without a date to the dance.\\n1-3. Figure out how you want to ask him.\\nConsider asking him in person or via telephone if you have his number. It is also totally acceptable to ask him through email or Facebook message if you don't want to do it face-to-face.\\n2. Asking Him Out\\n2-1. Start off by greeting him at school or whenever you see him alone or send him a friendly text saying \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\"\\nIf you are doing the asking in person, then approach him and say hello.\\nBe sure to smile and act confident, even if you are extremely nervous. Most guys like girls who are confident and have self-esteem. (Don't act pompous or cocky, though).\\nWear something that makes you feel attractive. If you feel beautiful on the inside, then it will show on the outside.\\n2-2. Bring up the topic of the dance.\\nCasually ask him whether or not he is going, and if he has made any plans.\\nIf he already has another date, then ask him to ditch his current date to go with you. It is unfair to the other girl, and will come across as desperate and insensitive.\\n2-3. Ask him if he'd like to go with you.\\nBe sure to smile and look him in the eyes if you are doing the asking in person.\\nShare your current plans with him, if you have any. For example, if you and your girlfriends have rented a limousine, then tell him. This will help him make his decision, and show him that you have a fun evening planned.\\n2-4. Maintain your composure, regardless of his answer.\\nIf he says yes, then tell him you are looking forward to it, but don't jump up and down screaming; you don't want to make him regret his decision! If he says no, then graciously tell him that there are no hard feelings, and move on.\\n2-5. Make the appropriate plans if he says yes.\\nDecide who will pick up whom, where you will meet, and what color dress you are wearing if it is a formal dance so that he can determine what color to wear.\\nTips\\nAvoid asking him in front of a group of other people. It will make things uncomfortable for both parties, especially if his answer is no.\\nFor the best results, ask out a boy who you think might be interested in you or who you are friends with. Though don't be afraid of asking your crush!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you're looking for a date to the school dance and are tired of waiting around for a guy to ask you, don't worry! Asking a guy to go to a school dance is a lot easier and less embarrassing than you may think. Read this article to learn how.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Prepping Yourself\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Determine whether or not he already has a date.\", \"描述\": \"This will save you a great deal of time and trouble, and give you enough time to find another potential date if necessary.\\nIf you are unsure, then ask one of his friends or someone in his social circle. Try to figure this out before asking him out.\\nIf he has a girlfriend, then he is probably going with her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Think about who else you would like to go with beforehand.\", \"描述\": \"In the event that your first choice is taken, having backup will ensure that you are not left without a date to the dance.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Figure out how you want to ask him.\", \"描述\": \"Consider asking him in person or via telephone if you have his number. It is also totally acceptable to ask him through email or Facebook message if you don't want to do it face-to-face.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Him Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start off by greeting him at school or whenever you see him alone or send him a friendly text saying \\\"Hey, how's it going?\\\"\", \"描述\": \"If you are doing the asking in person, then approach him and say hello.\\nBe sure to smile and act confident, even if you are extremely nervous. Most guys like girls who are confident and have self-esteem. (Don't act pompous or cocky, though).\\nWear something that makes you feel attractive. If you feel beautiful on the inside, then it will show on the outside.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Bring up the topic of the dance.\", \"描述\": \"Casually ask him whether or not he is going, and if he has made any plans.\\nIf he already has another date, then ask him to ditch his current date to go with you. It is unfair to the other girl, and will come across as desperate and insensitive.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask him if he'd like to go with you.\", \"描述\": \"Be sure to smile and look him in the eyes if you are doing the asking in person.\\nShare your current plans with him, if you have any. For example, if you and your girlfriends have rented a limousine, then tell him. This will help him make his decision, and show him that you have a fun evening planned.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Maintain your composure, regardless of his answer.\", \"描述\": \"If he says yes, then tell him you are looking forward to it, but don't jump up and down screaming; you don't want to make him regret his decision! If he says no, then graciously tell him that there are no hard feelings, and move on.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make the appropriate plans if he says yes.\", \"描述\": \"Decide who will pick up whom, where you will meet, and what color dress you are wearing if it is a formal dance so that he can determine what color to wear.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Avoid asking him in front of a group of other people. It will make things uncomfortable for both parties, especially if his answer is no.\\n\", \"For the best results, ask out a boy who you think might be interested in you or who you are friends with. Though don't be afraid of asking your crush!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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2,584 | How to Ask a Manager for Emergency Leave | 1. Addressing Your Manager in Person
1-1. Check your company’s leave policy to see what’s covered.
Look in the absence and leave portion of the company or employee manual to see what constitutes an emergency. Many times, you’re able to take off if you have a medical emergency or death in the family, an accident in the home, or a sick child you need to take care of. Check if there are a specified number of days you’re allowed to take for each type of emergency.
If the emergency requires urgent care, you can skip this and talk to your manager about the situation immediately.
Leave may be paid or unpaid depending on the situation you’re experiencing and how much leave you’ve used throughout the rest of the year.
If your company doesn’t have a leave policy or human resources (HR) department, then talk directly to your manager.
1-2. Describe the emergency that needs your attention to your manager.
Pull your manager aside or call them as soon as you’re able and explain what happened. Maintain a polite tone while you’re talking to them so they’re more likely to empathize with you. Give them as many details as you’re comfortable explaining so they understand the urgency of the situation.
For example, you may say, “This morning, my father had a heart attack and is in critical condition, so I need to be there to monitor him and help support my mother.”
As another example, you could say, “My daughter’s school called and said that she needs to come home from school. My wife is traveling, and I have to step out and take care of her.”
You don’t need to tell your manager a full medical diagnosis if there’s an accident or medical emergency.
1-3. Tell your manager when you expect to return to work.
Try to give your best estimate to when you’ll be back. Use the word “tentatively” or the phrase “plan to” in case there are complications. If it’s a minor emergency, such as picking up someone after an accident or dropping off a child at daycare, try getting back within the day. For a more serious condition, such as a medical emergency, let them know how many days you’ll need off.
For example, you may say, “I plan on leaving today at lunch, and I can tentatively come back to work in 2 days, February 4th. Would that be alright?”
If you don’t know how long you’ll be out from work, give your manager a time where you’ll contact them again so you can further explain the situation.
1-4. Help delegate your work responsibilities to other employees.
Ask other employees you work with to see if they can cover your shift or duties while you’re away. Try offering to take a future shift from them in exchange for them working during yours. Make sure the employee knows what you usually complete so they don’t forget anything while you’re away.
Your boss may also assign other employees to your duties.
For example, you could say, “I can talk to Denise and Otto to help cover my paperwork and calls while I’m gone.”
If you know that you’ll need to leave unexpectedly in the future, like if your partner is pregnant and they go into labor, plan with other employees a few weeks ahead of time so they can continue working on your duties while you’re away.
1-5. Send a follow-up email restating the details of your leave.
Put “Emergency Leave” or something similar in the subject line. Mention the reason you’re leaving, how long you expect to be gone, and any other information you discussed with your manager in the body. Thank them at the end of the email and ask them to reach out if they need any other information.
Sending an email also protects you in case your manager says you left without any warning.
Your manager may ask you to send the email to your company’s HR department as well.
1-6. Get verification of the emergency if your manager requests one.
Your manager may ask for verification if the emergency pulls you out of work to ensure you aren’t taking advantage of them. Ask anyone involved in the emergency for a copy of an official document, such as an accident report, doctor’s note, or a death certificate. Give the copy to your manager or email it to them as soon as possible.
The need for verification depends on your workplace. Check the employee manual to find the full details of what’s required.
2. Writing an Emergency Leave Email
2-1. Check your company leave policy to see if they have any special forms.
Read through the employee manual or contact your company’s HR department to find out what’s covered by emergency leave. Check if there are any online forms or paperwork you need to file before you take the leave. Follow your company’s policy in full, or else you could get in trouble at work.
Leave policies vary by company, so always look them up before sending an email to your manager.
If your company doesn’t have an HR department or leave policy, talk directly to your manager to find out.
2-2. Explain the emergency situation and why you need to be there.
Start your email with a brief paragraph discussing what has happened and who was involved. Give as many details as you’re comfortable with to help your manager understand the severity of the situation. Briefly talk about what you’re going to do during your leave so your manager sees you aren’t taking advantage of them.
For example, you could write, “This morning, I was informed that my grandfather passed away during the night. I will need to help support my mother and make preparations for the funeral over the next few days.”
2-3. Include the start and estimated end date for your leave.
Write the start and end date at the end of the first paragraph or the beginning of the second one. Mention the date or time you plan on leaving to address the emergency. When you bring up the end date, use the phrase “tentatively” or “hopefully” so you have some flexibility on when you need to return.
For example, you can write, “I plan on starting my leave tomorrow, February 5th, and I will tentatively return to work on Monday, February 10th.”
2-4. Add your contact information for others to reach you while you’re away.
Write down your phone number or an email address where your manager or coworkers can reach you if there’s an emergency. Let them know that you won’t be monitoring regular calls and emails, and only responding if they’re urgent.
For example, you could include, “If there’s a serious question or a work emergency, you can reach me at (555) 555–0123 or [email protected]. I will try to get back to you as soon as possible.”
2-5. Submit the email to your manager and the HR department.
Attach the files for any additional forms you filled out for the company. Send your manager and the HR department the email so they can review the leave request. Typically, they will respond as soon as possible so you know if your leave has been approved.
Depending on the company and emergency situation, you may receive paid or unpaid leave.
Your manager may submit the email to the HR department so you don’t have to.
2-6. Stay in contact with your manager to update them on the situation.
Call your manager with any updates on the situation so they know when you’re coming back. Tell them if you expect to be back sooner or later than your estimated date so they can plan accordingly. If you’re unable to call them, send them an email instead so they stay updated.
2-7. Provide emergency verification if your manager requires it.
Ask for a copy of a doctor’s note, accident or police report, or a death certificate depending on the emergency situation you’re handling. Attach the copy to an email and forward it to your manager and the HR department so they both have the information.
Companies usually require verification if you’re pulled out of work for more than a few days at a time.
Your company may have an approved list of verification, so check the employee manual to see what’s required.
Tips
If you’re able to handle the emergency during the same day, try returning to work for the remainder of your shift to show your manager that you’re reliable.
Warnings
Don’t try to take advantage of using emergency leaves.
Your place of employment may only cover emergency leave for certain situations or they may have set amounts of time depending on the emergency. Check the employee or company manual to see what they cover.[17]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Addressing Your Manager in Person\\n1-1. Check your company’s leave policy to see what’s covered.\\nLook in the absence and leave portion of the company or employee manual to see what constitutes an emergency. Many times, you’re able to take off if you have a medical emergency or death in the family, an accident in the home, or a sick child you need to take care of. Check if there are a specified number of days you’re allowed to take for each type of emergency.\\nIf the emergency requires urgent care, you can skip this and talk to your manager about the situation immediately.\\nLeave may be paid or unpaid depending on the situation you’re experiencing and how much leave you’ve used throughout the rest of the year.\\nIf your company doesn’t have a leave policy or human resources (HR) department, then talk directly to your manager.\\n1-2. Describe the emergency that needs your attention to your manager.\\nPull your manager aside or call them as soon as you’re able and explain what happened. Maintain a polite tone while you’re talking to them so they’re more likely to empathize with you. Give them as many details as you’re comfortable explaining so they understand the urgency of the situation.\\nFor example, you may say, “This morning, my father had a heart attack and is in critical condition, so I need to be there to monitor him and help support my mother.”\\nAs another example, you could say, “My daughter’s school called and said that she needs to come home from school. My wife is traveling, and I have to step out and take care of her.”\\nYou don’t need to tell your manager a full medical diagnosis if there’s an accident or medical emergency.\\n1-3. Tell your manager when you expect to return to work.\\nTry to give your best estimate to when you’ll be back. Use the word “tentatively” or the phrase “plan to” in case there are complications. If it’s a minor emergency, such as picking up someone after an accident or dropping off a child at daycare, try getting back within the day. For a more serious condition, such as a medical emergency, let them know how many days you’ll need off.\\nFor example, you may say, “I plan on leaving today at lunch, and I can tentatively come back to work in 2 days, February 4th. Would that be alright?”\\nIf you don’t know how long you’ll be out from work, give your manager a time where you’ll contact them again so you can further explain the situation.\\n1-4. Help delegate your work responsibilities to other employees.\\nAsk other employees you work with to see if they can cover your shift or duties while you’re away. Try offering to take a future shift from them in exchange for them working during yours. Make sure the employee knows what you usually complete so they don’t forget anything while you’re away.\\nYour boss may also assign other employees to your duties.\\nFor example, you could say, “I can talk to Denise and Otto to help cover my paperwork and calls while I’m gone.”\\nIf you know that you’ll need to leave unexpectedly in the future, like if your partner is pregnant and they go into labor, plan with other employees a few weeks ahead of time so they can continue working on your duties while you’re away.\\n1-5. Send a follow-up email restating the details of your leave.\\nPut “Emergency Leave” or something similar in the subject line. Mention the reason you’re leaving, how long you expect to be gone, and any other information you discussed with your manager in the body. Thank them at the end of the email and ask them to reach out if they need any other information.\\nSending an email also protects you in case your manager says you left without any warning.\\nYour manager may ask you to send the email to your company’s HR department as well.\\n1-6. Get verification of the emergency if your manager requests one.\\nYour manager may ask for verification if the emergency pulls you out of work to ensure you aren’t taking advantage of them. Ask anyone involved in the emergency for a copy of an official document, such as an accident report, doctor’s note, or a death certificate. Give the copy to your manager or email it to them as soon as possible.\\nThe need for verification depends on your workplace. Check the employee manual to find the full details of what’s required.\\n2. Writing an Emergency Leave Email\\n2-1. Check your company leave policy to see if they have any special forms.\\nRead through the employee manual or contact your company’s HR department to find out what’s covered by emergency leave. Check if there are any online forms or paperwork you need to file before you take the leave. Follow your company’s policy in full, or else you could get in trouble at work.\\nLeave policies vary by company, so always look them up before sending an email to your manager.\\nIf your company doesn’t have an HR department or leave policy, talk directly to your manager to find out.\\n2-2. Explain the emergency situation and why you need to be there.\\nStart your email with a brief paragraph discussing what has happened and who was involved. Give as many details as you’re comfortable with to help your manager understand the severity of the situation. Briefly talk about what you’re going to do during your leave so your manager sees you aren’t taking advantage of them.\\nFor example, you could write, “This morning, I was informed that my grandfather passed away during the night. I will need to help support my mother and make preparations for the funeral over the next few days.”\\n2-3. Include the start and estimated end date for your leave.\\nWrite the start and end date at the end of the first paragraph or the beginning of the second one. Mention the date or time you plan on leaving to address the emergency. When you bring up the end date, use the phrase “tentatively” or “hopefully” so you have some flexibility on when you need to return.\\nFor example, you can write, “I plan on starting my leave tomorrow, February 5th, and I will tentatively return to work on Monday, February 10th.”\\n2-4. Add your contact information for others to reach you while you’re away.\\nWrite down your phone number or an email address where your manager or coworkers can reach you if there’s an emergency. Let them know that you won’t be monitoring regular calls and emails, and only responding if they’re urgent.\\nFor example, you could include, “If there’s a serious question or a work emergency, you can reach me at (555) 555–0123 or [email protected]. I will try to get back to you as soon as possible.”\\n2-5. Submit the email to your manager and the HR department.\\nAttach the files for any additional forms you filled out for the company. Send your manager and the HR department the email so they can review the leave request. Typically, they will respond as soon as possible so you know if your leave has been approved.\\nDepending on the company and emergency situation, you may receive paid or unpaid leave.\\nYour manager may submit the email to the HR department so you don’t have to.\\n2-6. Stay in contact with your manager to update them on the situation.\\nCall your manager with any updates on the situation so they know when you’re coming back. Tell them if you expect to be back sooner or later than your estimated date so they can plan accordingly. If you’re unable to call them, send them an email instead so they stay updated.\\n2-7. Provide emergency verification if your manager requires it.\\nAsk for a copy of a doctor’s note, accident or police report, or a death certificate depending on the emergency situation you’re handling. Attach the copy to an email and forward it to your manager and the HR department so they both have the information.\\nCompanies usually require verification if you’re pulled out of work for more than a few days at a time.\\nYour company may have an approved list of verification, so check the employee manual to see what’s required.\\nTips\\nIf you’re able to handle the emergency during the same day, try returning to work for the remainder of your shift to show your manager that you’re reliable.\\nWarnings\\nDon’t try to take advantage of using emergency leaves.\\nYour place of employment may only cover emergency leave for certain situations or they may have set amounts of time depending on the emergency. Check the employee or company manual to see what they cover.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether there’s a burst pipe in your home or a medical emergency, you may need to take time off of work while you address the situation. While talking to your manager can add more stress, many times they’ll be understanding and allow you time off. If you have the chance, try reaching out to them in person or over the phone so you can speak to them directly. If you don’t have time to see or call them, write an email to them as soon as possible to let them know.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Addressing Your Manager in Person\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your company’s leave policy to see what’s covered.\", \"描述\": \"Look in the absence and leave portion of the company or employee manual to see what constitutes an emergency. Many times, you’re able to take off if you have a medical emergency or death in the family, an accident in the home, or a sick child you need to take care of. Check if there are a specified number of days you’re allowed to take for each type of emergency.\\nIf the emergency requires urgent care, you can skip this and talk to your manager about the situation immediately.\\nLeave may be paid or unpaid depending on the situation you’re experiencing and how much leave you’ve used throughout the rest of the year.\\nIf your company doesn’t have a leave policy or human resources (HR) department, then talk directly to your manager.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Describe the emergency that needs your attention to your manager.\", \"描述\": \"Pull your manager aside or call them as soon as you’re able and explain what happened. Maintain a polite tone while you’re talking to them so they’re more likely to empathize with you. Give them as many details as you’re comfortable explaining so they understand the urgency of the situation.\\nFor example, you may say, “This morning, my father had a heart attack and is in critical condition, so I need to be there to monitor him and help support my mother.”\\nAs another example, you could say, “My daughter’s school called and said that she needs to come home from school. My wife is traveling, and I have to step out and take care of her.”\\nYou don’t need to tell your manager a full medical diagnosis if there’s an accident or medical emergency.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tell your manager when you expect to return to work.\", \"描述\": \"Try to give your best estimate to when you’ll be back. Use the word “tentatively” or the phrase “plan to” in case there are complications. If it’s a minor emergency, such as picking up someone after an accident or dropping off a child at daycare, try getting back within the day. For a more serious condition, such as a medical emergency, let them know how many days you’ll need off.\\nFor example, you may say, “I plan on leaving today at lunch, and I can tentatively come back to work in 2 days, February 4th. Would that be alright?”\\nIf you don’t know how long you’ll be out from work, give your manager a time where you’ll contact them again so you can further explain the situation.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Help delegate your work responsibilities to other employees.\", \"描述\": \"Ask other employees you work with to see if they can cover your shift or duties while you’re away. Try offering to take a future shift from them in exchange for them working during yours. Make sure the employee knows what you usually complete so they don’t forget anything while you’re away.\\nYour boss may also assign other employees to your duties.\\nFor example, you could say, “I can talk to Denise and Otto to help cover my paperwork and calls while I’m gone.”\\nIf you know that you’ll need to leave unexpectedly in the future, like if your partner is pregnant and they go into labor, plan with other employees a few weeks ahead of time so they can continue working on your duties while you’re away.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Send a follow-up email restating the details of your leave.\", \"描述\": \"Put “Emergency Leave” or something similar in the subject line. Mention the reason you’re leaving, how long you expect to be gone, and any other information you discussed with your manager in the body. Thank them at the end of the email and ask them to reach out if they need any other information.\\nSending an email also protects you in case your manager says you left without any warning.\\nYour manager may ask you to send the email to your company’s HR department as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get verification of the emergency if your manager requests one.\", \"描述\": \"Your manager may ask for verification if the emergency pulls you out of work to ensure you aren’t taking advantage of them. Ask anyone involved in the emergency for a copy of an official document, such as an accident report, doctor’s note, or a death certificate. Give the copy to your manager or email it to them as soon as possible.\\nThe need for verification depends on your workplace. Check the employee manual to find the full details of what’s required.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Writing an Emergency Leave Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your company leave policy to see if they have any special forms.\", \"描述\": \"Read through the employee manual or contact your company’s HR department to find out what’s covered by emergency leave. Check if there are any online forms or paperwork you need to file before you take the leave. Follow your company’s policy in full, or else you could get in trouble at work.\\nLeave policies vary by company, so always look them up before sending an email to your manager.\\nIf your company doesn’t have an HR department or leave policy, talk directly to your manager to find out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain the emergency situation and why you need to be there.\", \"描述\": \"Start your email with a brief paragraph discussing what has happened and who was involved. Give as many details as you’re comfortable with to help your manager understand the severity of the situation. Briefly talk about what you’re going to do during your leave so your manager sees you aren’t taking advantage of them.\\nFor example, you could write, “This morning, I was informed that my grandfather passed away during the night. I will need to help support my mother and make preparations for the funeral over the next few days.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Include the start and estimated end date for your leave.\", \"描述\": \"Write the start and end date at the end of the first paragraph or the beginning of the second one. Mention the date or time you plan on leaving to address the emergency. When you bring up the end date, use the phrase “tentatively” or “hopefully” so you have some flexibility on when you need to return.\\nFor example, you can write, “I plan on starting my leave tomorrow, February 5th, and I will tentatively return to work on Monday, February 10th.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add your contact information for others to reach you while you’re away.\", \"描述\": \"Write down your phone number or an email address where your manager or coworkers can reach you if there’s an emergency. Let them know that you won’t be monitoring regular calls and emails, and only responding if they’re urgent.\\nFor example, you could include, “If there’s a serious question or a work emergency, you can reach me at (555) 555–0123 or [email protected]. I will try to get back to you as soon as possible.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Submit the email to your manager and the HR department.\", \"描述\": \"Attach the files for any additional forms you filled out for the company. Send your manager and the HR department the email so they can review the leave request. Typically, they will respond as soon as possible so you know if your leave has been approved.\\nDepending on the company and emergency situation, you may receive paid or unpaid leave.\\nYour manager may submit the email to the HR department so you don’t have to.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Stay in contact with your manager to update them on the situation.\", \"描述\": \"Call your manager with any updates on the situation so they know when you’re coming back. Tell them if you expect to be back sooner or later than your estimated date so they can plan accordingly. If you’re unable to call them, send them an email instead so they stay updated.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Provide emergency verification if your manager requires it.\", \"描述\": \"Ask for a copy of a doctor’s note, accident or police report, or a death certificate depending on the emergency situation you’re handling. Attach the copy to an email and forward it to your manager and the HR department so they both have the information.\\nCompanies usually require verification if you’re pulled out of work for more than a few days at a time.\\nYour company may have an approved list of verification, so check the employee manual to see what’s required.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you’re able to handle the emergency during the same day, try returning to work for the remainder of your shift to show your manager that you’re reliable.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Don’t try to take advantage of using emergency leaves.\\n\", \"Your place of employment may only cover emergency leave for certain situations or they may have set amounts of time depending on the emergency. Check the employee or company manual to see what they cover.[17]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,585 | How to Ask a New Question on Microsoft Answers | 1. Steps
1-1. Visit the Microsoft Community website.
Go to answers.microsoft.com in a web browser.
1-2. Click "Ask a Question" towards the top-right of the page.
It'll be on the blue navigation bar.
Consider searching the database of Microsoft Answers to see if the question has already been asked. Use the search bar to do so. If it's already been answered, it saves both your and the assistant's time.
1-3. Set up or log into your account at Microsoft Answers, to ask them your question,
If you have a Hotmail account already, you already have a Microsoft Account, and thereby you can use the Microsoft Answers service. You can use this to sign into the Microsoft Answers service.
If not, consider signing up for an account. You don't even need to sign up for a Hotmail account, you can use your regular email address in place of a new Hotmail account, if you wish.
1-4. Click the "Participate" button from the homepage, and then click the "Ask a question" link/button.
1-5. Type a short summary of what the post/question is going to be about under the Post your question to the community title line.
This summary will become your "question" portion.
1-6. Type in a detailed description of your question or problem under the "Details" area.
Include as much information as possible. Make sure to let them know if something else has changed within your computer (such as a change in your Internet Service Provider's settings infrastructure or some other thing that might be significant to the problem).
1-7. Categorize the question.
Use the drop down box to select your category and subcategory, if it requires a subcategory be set.
1-8. Choose the most appropriate category under "Topic" based on your details you provided.
If you'll be posting a question, click "Post a question", but if you are going for the discussion route, click the "Post a discussion" checkbox.
1-9. Click the Submit button.
Tips
Make sure to leave the "Notify me when someone responds to this post " button checked, if you'd like to be warned when someone posts a reply to your question/discussion. The email address that it will come from will be [email protected] .
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Visit the Microsoft Community website.\\nGo to answers.microsoft.com in a web browser.\\n1-2. Click \\\"Ask a Question\\\" towards the top-right of the page.\\nIt'll be on the blue navigation bar.\\nConsider searching the database of Microsoft Answers to see if the question has already been asked. Use the search bar to do so. If it's already been answered, it saves both your and the assistant's time.\\n1-3. Set up or log into your account at Microsoft Answers, to ask them your question,\\n\\nIf you have a Hotmail account already, you already have a Microsoft Account, and thereby you can use the Microsoft Answers service. You can use this to sign into the Microsoft Answers service.\\nIf not, consider signing up for an account. You don't even need to sign up for a Hotmail account, you can use your regular email address in place of a new Hotmail account, if you wish.\\n1-4. Click the \\\"Participate\\\" button from the homepage, and then click the \\\"Ask a question\\\" link/button.\\n\\n1-5. Type a short summary of what the post/question is going to be about under the Post your question to the community title line.\\nThis summary will become your \\\"question\\\" portion.\\n1-6. Type in a detailed description of your question or problem under the \\\"Details\\\" area.\\nInclude as much information as possible. Make sure to let them know if something else has changed within your computer (such as a change in your Internet Service Provider's settings infrastructure or some other thing that might be significant to the problem).\\n1-7. Categorize the question.\\nUse the drop down box to select your category and subcategory, if it requires a subcategory be set.\\n1-8. Choose the most appropriate category under \\\"Topic\\\" based on your details you provided.\\nIf you'll be posting a question, click \\\"Post a question\\\", but if you are going for the discussion route, click the \\\"Post a discussion\\\" checkbox.\\n1-9. Click the Submit button.\\n\\nTips\\nMake sure to leave the \\\"Notify me when someone responds to this post \\\" button checked, if you'd like to be warned when someone posts a reply to your question/discussion. The email address that it will come from will be [email protected] .\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"The Microsoft Answers (Microsoft Community) online forums are official Microsoft forums that provide free tech support for Microsoft products. Both Microsoft specialists and knowledgeable volunteers assist askers with their questions and tech problems. It's easy, quick, and free to post your question.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Visit the Microsoft Community website.\", \"描述\": \"Go to answers.microsoft.com in a web browser.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click \\\"Ask a Question\\\" towards the top-right of the page.\", \"描述\": \"It'll be on the blue navigation bar.\\nConsider searching the database of Microsoft Answers to see if the question has already been asked. Use the search bar to do so. If it's already been answered, it saves both your and the assistant's time.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Set up or log into your account at Microsoft Answers, to ask them your question,\", \"描述\": \"If you have a Hotmail account already, you already have a Microsoft Account, and thereby you can use the Microsoft Answers service. You can use this to sign into the Microsoft Answers service.\\nIf not, consider signing up for an account. You don't even need to sign up for a Hotmail account, you can use your regular email address in place of a new Hotmail account, if you wish.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Click the \\\"Participate\\\" button from the homepage, and then click the \\\"Ask a question\\\" link/button.\", \"描述\": \"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Type a short summary of what the post/question is going to be about under the Post your question to the community title line.\", \"描述\": \"This summary will become your \\\"question\\\" portion.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Type in a detailed description of your question or problem under the \\\"Details\\\" area.\", \"描述\": \"Include as much information as possible. Make sure to let them know if something else has changed within your computer (such as a change in your Internet Service Provider's settings infrastructure or some other thing that might be significant to the problem).\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Categorize the question.\", \"描述\": \"Use the drop down box to select your category and subcategory, if it requires a subcategory be set.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Choose the most appropriate category under \\\"Topic\\\" based on your details you provided.\", \"描述\": \"If you'll be posting a question, click \\\"Post a question\\\", but if you are going for the discussion route, click the \\\"Post a discussion\\\" checkbox.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Click the Submit button.\", \"描述\": \"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Make sure to leave the \\\"Notify me when someone responds to this post \\\" button checked, if you'd like to be warned when someone posts a reply to your question/discussion. The email address that it will come from will be [email protected] .\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,586 | How to Ask a Person if They're Single | 1. Taking a Direct Approach
1-1. Smile and make eye contact.
Doing some simple flirting is a good way to determine if someone is interested in you and it may also help you to determine if the person is single or not. If you flash a smile at someone and the person returns it, then this is a good sign.
If you are standing across the room, try by making eye contact and smiling at the person. Doing this will send him or her the message that you would like to talk. If the person returns your gaze and smiles back, then you should approach him or her.
If the person looks away or does not return your smile, then he or she may not be interested.
1-2. Engage in a little small talk
Some people find small talk annoying, but keep in mind that it can help you to find out if someone is single and may even lead to a deeper discussion later on. After you approach someone, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Chatting with the person for a few minutes before you ask if he or she is single will give you a chance to learn a bit more about the person and decide if he or she is someone you'd like to date. Try chatting about:
The place you are at. For example, you could say something like, “This place has the best coffee! What are you drinking?”
The people you are with. For example, you could say something like, “That's my friend George over there. Did you bring anyone?”
A recent event. For example, you could say something like, “Did you catch the game last night?”
1-3. Ask if the person is in a relationship.
When you feel like you've made a connection with the person you like, then you can ask if the person is in in a relationship. Make your question as direct as possible to avoid any confusion.
Try saying something like, “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone?”
If he or she says "yes," try not to show your disappointment. Just say something like, “That's cool,” and then talk for a little longer before excusing yourself.
If the person says "no," don't react with too much excitement. You might just say something like, “Cool. I'm not either.”
Try asking them playfully! You might say, "You seem like a really cool guy. Why don't you have a girl?"
1-4. Get a phone number or arrange a date.
If this person is single and seems to be enjoying your company, then you can get his or her phone number and/or set up a date. There are many ways to ask someone out, but a simple approach might be best.
Try saying something like, “I am enjoying talking with you. Would you like to get together for dinner sometime?” Or, "We should talk again sometime. Can I get your phone number?" Or, "I'm going for a hike on Saturday. Want to come along?"
If the person rejects your invitation, then try not to get discouraged. It is possible that the person recently go out of a relationship and is not ready to date yet.
You could also ask to follow them on social media, like Instagram. Then, you can check their posts and see if there's anything romantic going on.
2. Taking an Indirect Approach
2-1. Pay attention to body language.
Noting the way that the person interacts with someone else can also help you to determine if he or she is taken. If this person is with a person or group of people, then pay attention to how he or she interacts with them. Try to glance at the person now and then to see how he or she is behaving.
For example, is the person leaning in towards someone and smiling? Is the person standing closer to someone than is appropriate for friends? Is the person holding hands with anyone or touching someone on the arm or back? These things may indicate that the person is not single.
However, if the person is not displaying any intimate body language with anyone, then there is a good chance that he or she is single.
2-2. Check for a ring.
A wedding or engagement ring is a dead giveaway that someone is taken. If you are close enough to see the person's hands, then look for a ring on the person's left hand. People usually wear wedding and/or engagement rings on the ring finger, which is the one next to the pinky finger.
If there is no ring, then there is a chance that this person is single. However, keep in mind that many people have committed relationships without being married.
2-3. Introduce yourself.
If you have reason to believe that the person is single, then you can introduce yourself and start to get to know the person you like. Just keep in mind that taking this approach may reveal that the person is or is not single within your first conversation, or it might take a while.
If the person is alone, try saying something like, “Hi. I'm __. What's your name?”
If the person you're interested in is in a large group, then you can introduce yourself to the whole group by saying something like: “Hi, I'm __. How does everybody here know each other?”
2-4. Get to know the person
When you first meet someone, it is good to ask questions to get to know the person better. Allowing the person a chance to talk may also reveal whether or not he or she is seeing anyone. Some good getting-to-know-you questions include:
Where did you grow up?
Where do you work? Do you like it?
Do you have any pets?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
What's your life like during the week?
Who are your friends?
2-5. Ask about weekend plans.
If the person is not single, then he or she likely has plans with a significant other over the weekend. You can casually ask about the person's weekend plans and this may give you an answer to your question and it can also be a good way to ask for a date.
Try saying something like, “What do you have planned for this weekend?”
If the person says nothing, then you can try saying something like, “I was thinking of going to see a movie. Would you be into that?”
If the person says that he or she has plans with a significant other, then just play it cool. Try saying something, “Awesome! Have a great time!”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:01",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Taking a Direct Approach\\n1-1. Smile and make eye contact.\\nDoing some simple flirting is a good way to determine if someone is interested in you and it may also help you to determine if the person is single or not. If you flash a smile at someone and the person returns it, then this is a good sign.\\nIf you are standing across the room, try by making eye contact and smiling at the person. Doing this will send him or her the message that you would like to talk. If the person returns your gaze and smiles back, then you should approach him or her.\\nIf the person looks away or does not return your smile, then he or she may not be interested.\\n1-2. Engage in a little small talk\\nSome people find small talk annoying, but keep in mind that it can help you to find out if someone is single and may even lead to a deeper discussion later on. After you approach someone, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Chatting with the person for a few minutes before you ask if he or she is single will give you a chance to learn a bit more about the person and decide if he or she is someone you'd like to date. Try chatting about:\\nThe place you are at. For example, you could say something like, “This place has the best coffee! What are you drinking?”\\nThe people you are with. For example, you could say something like, “That's my friend George over there. Did you bring anyone?”\\nA recent event. For example, you could say something like, “Did you catch the game last night?”\\n1-3. Ask if the person is in a relationship.\\nWhen you feel like you've made a connection with the person you like, then you can ask if the person is in in a relationship. Make your question as direct as possible to avoid any confusion.\\nTry saying something like, “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone?”\\nIf he or she says \\\"yes,\\\" try not to show your disappointment. Just say something like, “That's cool,” and then talk for a little longer before excusing yourself.\\nIf the person says \\\"no,\\\" don't react with too much excitement. You might just say something like, “Cool. I'm not either.”\\nTry asking them playfully! You might say, \\\"You seem like a really cool guy. Why don't you have a girl?\\\"\\n1-4. Get a phone number or arrange a date.\\nIf this person is single and seems to be enjoying your company, then you can get his or her phone number and/or set up a date. There are many ways to ask someone out, but a simple approach might be best.\\nTry saying something like, “I am enjoying talking with you. Would you like to get together for dinner sometime?” Or, \\\"We should talk again sometime. Can I get your phone number?\\\" Or, \\\"I'm going for a hike on Saturday. Want to come along?\\\"\\nIf the person rejects your invitation, then try not to get discouraged. It is possible that the person recently go out of a relationship and is not ready to date yet.\\nYou could also ask to follow them on social media, like Instagram. Then, you can check their posts and see if there's anything romantic going on.\\n2. Taking an Indirect Approach\\n2-1. Pay attention to body language.\\nNoting the way that the person interacts with someone else can also help you to determine if he or she is taken. If this person is with a person or group of people, then pay attention to how he or she interacts with them. Try to glance at the person now and then to see how he or she is behaving.\\nFor example, is the person leaning in towards someone and smiling? Is the person standing closer to someone than is appropriate for friends? Is the person holding hands with anyone or touching someone on the arm or back? These things may indicate that the person is not single.\\nHowever, if the person is not displaying any intimate body language with anyone, then there is a good chance that he or she is single.\\n2-2. Check for a ring.\\nA wedding or engagement ring is a dead giveaway that someone is taken. If you are close enough to see the person's hands, then look for a ring on the person's left hand. People usually wear wedding and/or engagement rings on the ring finger, which is the one next to the pinky finger.\\nIf there is no ring, then there is a chance that this person is single. However, keep in mind that many people have committed relationships without being married.\\n2-3. Introduce yourself.\\nIf you have reason to believe that the person is single, then you can introduce yourself and start to get to know the person you like. Just keep in mind that taking this approach may reveal that the person is or is not single within your first conversation, or it might take a while.\\nIf the person is alone, try saying something like, “Hi. I'm __. What's your name?”\\nIf the person you're interested in is in a large group, then you can introduce yourself to the whole group by saying something like: “Hi, I'm __. How does everybody here know each other?”\\n2-4. Get to know the person\\nWhen you first meet someone, it is good to ask questions to get to know the person better. Allowing the person a chance to talk may also reveal whether or not he or she is seeing anyone. Some good getting-to-know-you questions include:\\nWhere did you grow up?\\nWhere do you work? Do you like it?\\nDo you have any pets?\\nWhat do you like to do in your spare time?\\nWhat's your life like during the week?\\nWho are your friends?\\n2-5. Ask about weekend plans.\\nIf the person is not single, then he or she likely has plans with a significant other over the weekend. You can casually ask about the person's weekend plans and this may give you an answer to your question and it can also be a good way to ask for a date.\\nTry saying something like, “What do you have planned for this weekend?”\\nIf the person says nothing, then you can try saying something like, “I was thinking of going to see a movie. Would you be into that?”\\nIf the person says that he or she has plans with a significant other, then just play it cool. Try saying something, “Awesome! Have a great time!”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"If you have recently met someone who you want to date, then it is important to find out if the person is available. This can be tricky, and you might be worried about coming off as nosy or too eager. However, there are some simple ways to find out of a person is single that will make it easy to ask for a date. These strategies will also help you to avoid an awkward situation if the person is already taken.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Taking a Direct Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Smile and make eye contact.\", \"描述\": \"Doing some simple flirting is a good way to determine if someone is interested in you and it may also help you to determine if the person is single or not. If you flash a smile at someone and the person returns it, then this is a good sign.\\nIf you are standing across the room, try by making eye contact and smiling at the person. Doing this will send him or her the message that you would like to talk. If the person returns your gaze and smiles back, then you should approach him or her.\\nIf the person looks away or does not return your smile, then he or she may not be interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Engage in a little small talk\", \"描述\": \"Some people find small talk annoying, but keep in mind that it can help you to find out if someone is single and may even lead to a deeper discussion later on. After you approach someone, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Chatting with the person for a few minutes before you ask if he or she is single will give you a chance to learn a bit more about the person and decide if he or she is someone you'd like to date. Try chatting about:\\nThe place you are at. For example, you could say something like, “This place has the best coffee! What are you drinking?”\\nThe people you are with. For example, you could say something like, “That's my friend George over there. Did you bring anyone?”\\nA recent event. For example, you could say something like, “Did you catch the game last night?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask if the person is in a relationship.\", \"描述\": \"When you feel like you've made a connection with the person you like, then you can ask if the person is in in a relationship. Make your question as direct as possible to avoid any confusion.\\nTry saying something like, “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone?”\\nIf he or she says \\\"yes,\\\" try not to show your disappointment. Just say something like, “That's cool,” and then talk for a little longer before excusing yourself.\\nIf the person says \\\"no,\\\" don't react with too much excitement. You might just say something like, “Cool. I'm not either.”\\nTry asking them playfully! You might say, \\\"You seem like a really cool guy. Why don't you have a girl?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get a phone number or arrange a date.\", \"描述\": \"If this person is single and seems to be enjoying your company, then you can get his or her phone number and/or set up a date. There are many ways to ask someone out, but a simple approach might be best.\\nTry saying something like, “I am enjoying talking with you. Would you like to get together for dinner sometime?” Or, \\\"We should talk again sometime. Can I get your phone number?\\\" Or, \\\"I'm going for a hike on Saturday. Want to come along?\\\"\\nIf the person rejects your invitation, then try not to get discouraged. It is possible that the person recently go out of a relationship and is not ready to date yet.\\nYou could also ask to follow them on social media, like Instagram. Then, you can check their posts and see if there's anything romantic going on.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Taking an Indirect Approach\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Pay attention to body language.\", \"描述\": \"Noting the way that the person interacts with someone else can also help you to determine if he or she is taken. If this person is with a person or group of people, then pay attention to how he or she interacts with them. Try to glance at the person now and then to see how he or she is behaving.\\nFor example, is the person leaning in towards someone and smiling? Is the person standing closer to someone than is appropriate for friends? Is the person holding hands with anyone or touching someone on the arm or back? These things may indicate that the person is not single.\\nHowever, if the person is not displaying any intimate body language with anyone, then there is a good chance that he or she is single.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Check for a ring.\", \"描述\": \"A wedding or engagement ring is a dead giveaway that someone is taken. If you are close enough to see the person's hands, then look for a ring on the person's left hand. People usually wear wedding and/or engagement rings on the ring finger, which is the one next to the pinky finger.\\nIf there is no ring, then there is a chance that this person is single. However, keep in mind that many people have committed relationships without being married.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"If you have reason to believe that the person is single, then you can introduce yourself and start to get to know the person you like. Just keep in mind that taking this approach may reveal that the person is or is not single within your first conversation, or it might take a while.\\nIf the person is alone, try saying something like, “Hi. I'm __. What's your name?”\\nIf the person you're interested in is in a large group, then you can introduce yourself to the whole group by saying something like: “Hi, I'm __. How does everybody here know each other?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Get to know the person\", \"描述\": \"When you first meet someone, it is good to ask questions to get to know the person better. Allowing the person a chance to talk may also reveal whether or not he or she is seeing anyone. Some good getting-to-know-you questions include:\\nWhere did you grow up?\\nWhere do you work? Do you like it?\\nDo you have any pets?\\nWhat do you like to do in your spare time?\\nWhat's your life like during the week?\\nWho are your friends?\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask about weekend plans.\", \"描述\": \"If the person is not single, then he or she likely has plans with a significant other over the weekend. You can casually ask about the person's weekend plans and this may give you an answer to your question and it can also be a good way to ask for a date.\\nTry saying something like, “What do you have planned for this weekend?”\\nIf the person says nothing, then you can try saying something like, “I was thinking of going to see a movie. Would you be into that?”\\nIf the person says that he or she has plans with a significant other, then just play it cool. Try saying something, “Awesome! Have a great time!”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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2,587 | How to Ask a Professor for a Paper Extension | 1. Formulating Your Reason
1-1. Double-check your course’s policies.
Before you actually ask your professor, read over the class syllabus and any other course policies. Sometimes professors will say if they automatically grant extensions, are willing to consider them in certain circumstances, or have a no-extension policy.
Knowing what your professor’s rules are, and what they’re willing to do, will help you phrase your request correctly.
1-2. Show evidence if you say you are sick.
A serious illness, like the flu, is a reasonable cause to ask for an extension. You don’t have to go into great detail about your illness; most professors won’t want to hear about this. Be aware that some professors to ask for a doctor’s note or other evidence, evident.
Keep it simple. For example: “Professor Thompson, I came down with a bad flu over the weekend and need more time to work on my paper. Could I have an extension please? I’d be happy to show you documentation from the University Health Services."
1-3. Be honest about personal emergencies.
If there is a death or grave illness in the family, or some other unexpected hardship, this is a good reason to ask for a paper extension. Many professors would be willing to grant extensions in genuine cases of personal emergencies, but don’t abuse this possibility.
Try something like "Dear Professor Thompson, I'm sorry to say that last night my great Aunt Maude passed away. I'm with my family right now and will be attending the funeral. I was planning on completing my paper for your class tomorrow, but given the circumstances, could I ask for a two-day extension?"
A professor may or may not ask for some kind of documentation of the emergency, so don’t go this route if you’re unable to back up your story.
1-4. Let your professor know if you are swamped with work.
Professors understand that you may be taking several classes at once, and have other things going on in your life as well. Sometimes you need an extension because you are overloaded. It’s worth trying to ask for one if this is the case.
Stress that you need this kind of extension to write a good paper, e.g. “I’m requesting an extension because I’m overloaded with three exams all taking place on the day the paper is due. I want to do well on this paper and give it the attention it deserves, and another day or two would really help.”
1-5. Go the strength in numbers route.
A group of students could collectively ask a professor for an extension if they all have an exam or other commitment that is taking away from the time they need to spend on a paper. If several people all ask a professor for an extension, it can be more convincing than asking on your own.
Say something like “Professor Thompson, 7 of us in your class are also enrolled in CHEM 220, and we have an exam on the same day the paper is due. Could we have a one-day extension so we can have enough time to write strong papers?”
1-6. Keep it simple.
Whatever your reason for asking for an extension, don’t wear your professor down with endless explanations. Just get straight to the point, ask why you need an extension, and thank your professor for considering.
If you need an extension because you caused yourself to get behind in your schoolwork, accept responsibility and ask for the extension anyway. Most professors will appreciate the honesty.
2. Asking Politely
2-1. Ask as soon as possible.
Professors are much more likely to grant an extension if you ask before the paper is due. Ask as soon as you think you might need one, rather than the night before the deadline, or afterwards.
The exception to this, of course, is an unexpected emergency, such as a family death or being rushed to the hospital.
2-2. Approach your professor in-person.
Talking one-on-one with your professor will help show them you are being honest in saying you need an extension. When you think you need an extension, visit the professor during office hours or at least ask to talk to them for a minute after class.
2-3. Email to ask your professor about an extension.
If you’re sick, away, or it’s the weekend you might not be able to approach your professor in person. In that case, plan to write a polite email to ask for more time to write the paper.
Your professor likely teaches multiple classes. Write your class and time in the subject.
If you've already done some of the work, show your professor what you've completed so far. This will show them that you've made an effort to get the assignment done, and you're not just blowing it off.
2-4. Decide how long the extension will be.
An extension should give you a reasonable amount of time to complete the paper, based on how long you’ve already had to work on it, and on how much you’ve finished. Think about your professor’s personality when deciding how long of an extension to ask for.
If your professor seems strict, leave it entirely up to them to decide how long of an extension to grant. You may just have to take what you can get.
If your professor is more lenient, and you think you can get the paper done within a certain time (such as two more days), ask for a specific extension.
If your professor seems like the type to negotiate, aim high. If you think you can get the paper done in two days, ask for a four-day extension at first, and expect your professor to negotiate down.
Tips
If you have a documented disability or another factor that impacts your schoolwork, talk to your school’s disability services office. You may be granted automatic extensions for papers, or other accommodations to help you perform to the best of your ability.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Formulating Your Reason\\n1-1. Double-check your course’s policies.\\nBefore you actually ask your professor, read over the class syllabus and any other course policies. Sometimes professors will say if they automatically grant extensions, are willing to consider them in certain circumstances, or have a no-extension policy.\\nKnowing what your professor’s rules are, and what they’re willing to do, will help you phrase your request correctly.\\n1-2. Show evidence if you say you are sick.\\nA serious illness, like the flu, is a reasonable cause to ask for an extension. You don’t have to go into great detail about your illness; most professors won’t want to hear about this. Be aware that some professors to ask for a doctor’s note or other evidence, evident.\\nKeep it simple. For example: “Professor Thompson, I came down with a bad flu over the weekend and need more time to work on my paper. Could I have an extension please? I’d be happy to show you documentation from the University Health Services.\\\"\\n1-3. Be honest about personal emergencies.\\nIf there is a death or grave illness in the family, or some other unexpected hardship, this is a good reason to ask for a paper extension. Many professors would be willing to grant extensions in genuine cases of personal emergencies, but don’t abuse this possibility.\\nTry something like \\\"Dear Professor Thompson, I'm sorry to say that last night my great Aunt Maude passed away. I'm with my family right now and will be attending the funeral. I was planning on completing my paper for your class tomorrow, but given the circumstances, could I ask for a two-day extension?\\\"\\nA professor may or may not ask for some kind of documentation of the emergency, so don’t go this route if you’re unable to back up your story.\\n1-4. Let your professor know if you are swamped with work.\\nProfessors understand that you may be taking several classes at once, and have other things going on in your life as well. Sometimes you need an extension because you are overloaded. It’s worth trying to ask for one if this is the case.\\nStress that you need this kind of extension to write a good paper, e.g. “I’m requesting an extension because I’m overloaded with three exams all taking place on the day the paper is due. I want to do well on this paper and give it the attention it deserves, and another day or two would really help.”\\n1-5. Go the strength in numbers route.\\nA group of students could collectively ask a professor for an extension if they all have an exam or other commitment that is taking away from the time they need to spend on a paper. If several people all ask a professor for an extension, it can be more convincing than asking on your own. \\nSay something like “Professor Thompson, 7 of us in your class are also enrolled in CHEM 220, and we have an exam on the same day the paper is due. Could we have a one-day extension so we can have enough time to write strong papers?”\\n1-6. Keep it simple.\\nWhatever your reason for asking for an extension, don’t wear your professor down with endless explanations. Just get straight to the point, ask why you need an extension, and thank your professor for considering.\\nIf you need an extension because you caused yourself to get behind in your schoolwork, accept responsibility and ask for the extension anyway. Most professors will appreciate the honesty.\\n2. Asking Politely\\n2-1. Ask as soon as possible.\\nProfessors are much more likely to grant an extension if you ask before the paper is due. Ask as soon as you think you might need one, rather than the night before the deadline, or afterwards.\\nThe exception to this, of course, is an unexpected emergency, such as a family death or being rushed to the hospital.\\n2-2. Approach your professor in-person.\\nTalking one-on-one with your professor will help show them you are being honest in saying you need an extension. When you think you need an extension, visit the professor during office hours or at least ask to talk to them for a minute after class.\\n2-3. Email to ask your professor about an extension.\\nIf you’re sick, away, or it’s the weekend you might not be able to approach your professor in person. In that case, plan to write a polite email to ask for more time to write the paper.\\nYour professor likely teaches multiple classes. Write your class and time in the subject.\\nIf you've already done some of the work, show your professor what you've completed so far. This will show them that you've made an effort to get the assignment done, and you're not just blowing it off.\\n2-4. Decide how long the extension will be.\\nAn extension should give you a reasonable amount of time to complete the paper, based on how long you’ve already had to work on it, and on how much you’ve finished. Think about your professor’s personality when deciding how long of an extension to ask for.\\nIf your professor seems strict, leave it entirely up to them to decide how long of an extension to grant. You may just have to take what you can get.\\nIf your professor is more lenient, and you think you can get the paper done within a certain time (such as two more days), ask for a specific extension.\\nIf your professor seems like the type to negotiate, aim high. If you think you can get the paper done in two days, ask for a four-day extension at first, and expect your professor to negotiate down.\\nTips\\nIf you have a documented disability or another factor that impacts your schoolwork, talk to your school’s disability services office. You may be granted automatic extensions for papers, or other accommodations to help you perform to the best of your ability.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you just broke up with your significant other, have become suddenly ill, or are just completely swamped with other homework. There are a myriad of honest reasons you probably won't have your paper in on time. It can seem intimidating or even embarrassing to ask for an extension, but most professors are willing to hear you out. Asking politely and promptly just might attract your professor's compassion.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Formulating Your Reason\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Double-check your course’s policies.\", \"描述\": \"Before you actually ask your professor, read over the class syllabus and any other course policies. Sometimes professors will say if they automatically grant extensions, are willing to consider them in certain circumstances, or have a no-extension policy.\\nKnowing what your professor’s rules are, and what they’re willing to do, will help you phrase your request correctly.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Show evidence if you say you are sick.\", \"描述\": \"A serious illness, like the flu, is a reasonable cause to ask for an extension. You don’t have to go into great detail about your illness; most professors won’t want to hear about this. Be aware that some professors to ask for a doctor’s note or other evidence, evident.\\nKeep it simple. For example: “Professor Thompson, I came down with a bad flu over the weekend and need more time to work on my paper. Could I have an extension please? I’d be happy to show you documentation from the University Health Services.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest about personal emergencies.\", \"描述\": \"If there is a death or grave illness in the family, or some other unexpected hardship, this is a good reason to ask for a paper extension. Many professors would be willing to grant extensions in genuine cases of personal emergencies, but don’t abuse this possibility.\\nTry something like \\\"Dear Professor Thompson, I'm sorry to say that last night my great Aunt Maude passed away. I'm with my family right now and will be attending the funeral. I was planning on completing my paper for your class tomorrow, but given the circumstances, could I ask for a two-day extension?\\\"\\nA professor may or may not ask for some kind of documentation of the emergency, so don’t go this route if you’re unable to back up your story.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Let your professor know if you are swamped with work.\", \"描述\": \"Professors understand that you may be taking several classes at once, and have other things going on in your life as well. Sometimes you need an extension because you are overloaded. It’s worth trying to ask for one if this is the case.\\nStress that you need this kind of extension to write a good paper, e.g. “I’m requesting an extension because I’m overloaded with three exams all taking place on the day the paper is due. I want to do well on this paper and give it the attention it deserves, and another day or two would really help.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Go the strength in numbers route.\", \"描述\": \"A group of students could collectively ask a professor for an extension if they all have an exam or other commitment that is taking away from the time they need to spend on a paper. If several people all ask a professor for an extension, it can be more convincing than asking on your own. \\nSay something like “Professor Thompson, 7 of us in your class are also enrolled in CHEM 220, and we have an exam on the same day the paper is due. Could we have a one-day extension so we can have enough time to write strong papers?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep it simple.\", \"描述\": \"Whatever your reason for asking for an extension, don’t wear your professor down with endless explanations. Just get straight to the point, ask why you need an extension, and thank your professor for considering.\\nIf you need an extension because you caused yourself to get behind in your schoolwork, accept responsibility and ask for the extension anyway. Most professors will appreciate the honesty.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Politely\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask as soon as possible.\", \"描述\": \"Professors are much more likely to grant an extension if you ask before the paper is due. Ask as soon as you think you might need one, rather than the night before the deadline, or afterwards.\\nThe exception to this, of course, is an unexpected emergency, such as a family death or being rushed to the hospital.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approach your professor in-person.\", \"描述\": \"Talking one-on-one with your professor will help show them you are being honest in saying you need an extension. When you think you need an extension, visit the professor during office hours or at least ask to talk to them for a minute after class.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Email to ask your professor about an extension.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re sick, away, or it’s the weekend you might not be able to approach your professor in person. In that case, plan to write a polite email to ask for more time to write the paper.\\nYour professor likely teaches multiple classes. Write your class and time in the subject.\\nIf you've already done some of the work, show your professor what you've completed so far. This will show them that you've made an effort to get the assignment done, and you're not just blowing it off.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Decide how long the extension will be.\", \"描述\": \"An extension should give you a reasonable amount of time to complete the paper, based on how long you’ve already had to work on it, and on how much you’ve finished. Think about your professor’s personality when deciding how long of an extension to ask for.\\nIf your professor seems strict, leave it entirely up to them to decide how long of an extension to grant. You may just have to take what you can get.\\nIf your professor is more lenient, and you think you can get the paper done within a certain time (such as two more days), ask for a specific extension.\\nIf your professor seems like the type to negotiate, aim high. If you think you can get the paper done in two days, ask for a four-day extension at first, and expect your professor to negotiate down.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you have a documented disability or another factor that impacts your schoolwork, talk to your school’s disability services office. You may be granted automatic extensions for papers, or other accommodations to help you perform to the best of your ability.\\n\"]}]}}",
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2,588 | How to Ask a Question Intelligently | 1. Basic Technique
1-1. State what you know.
State something that you do understand about the topic. This will show that you understand something about it and make you sound smarter.
"...I understand that King Henry wanted to split with the Catholic Church so that he could get a divorce...."
"...I understand that the job includes benefits..."
"...I understand that intake is up across the board..."
1-2. State what you don't know.
"...but I don't understand how that led to the creation of the Church of England."
"...but I'm unclear on whether or not you include dental in that."
"...but I think I missed why we're responding this way."
1-3. Sound confident.
You want to project the idea that you're perfectly smart and you were totally paying attention, there was just some communication mix up.
1-4. Have a come back.
If they respond and tell you that the information was plainly stated, have a response ready to make yourself seem smarter.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said something completely different and thought it seemed a bit off. I didn't want to be rude and presume you were wrong. It's my fault, I apologize." And so on....
1-5. Explain your misunderstanding.
Give an excuse as to "how you got confused". This does not need to be true but should hide the fact that you might not have been paying the closest attention.
"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you..."
"I'm a bit unclear with that explanation..."
"I think I might have missed something while I was taking notes here..."
1-6. Speak as well as you can.
When you talk, use proper English with a reasonable vocabulary and good grammar. Do the best that you can. This will go a long way towards making you and your question seem more intelligent.
2. Forming Your Question
2-1. Use correct grammar.
When you ask your question, use the best grammar and pronunciation that you can. Speak clearly and enunciate. This will not only make you appear more intelligent, but it will help make sure that the person you are asking can understand you and what you want to know.
2-2. Use specific language.
Try to be as specific as you can and use specific language. Don’t use hyperbole, and make sure to ask about what you really want to ask about. For example, don’t ask a business person if they’re hiring at all, if you’re really only interested in a particular position. Similarly, don’t ask if they have a position open, but instead ask if they are hiring for the position you’re looking for or would be qualified for.
2-3. Ask politely and second-guess carefully.
You are seeking information to fill a gap in your knowledge and here is the person who may have the answer, so be polite! If appropriate, if you do not really feel comfortable with the response or feel that it does not respond to what you have asked, proceed gently by asking how they know this information. Ask what the general trend is that would short cut a path to that knowledge, meaning that you are seeking the tools to answer the questions yourself from this point onwards.
2-4. Keep the question simple.
Don’t ramble or explain anything more than what is needed to understand your problem and answer the question. Extra information can be distracting and may cause you to get an answer for an entirely different question that what you wanted to ask, if the person you’re asking misunderstands your purpose.
For example, don’t tell your doctor all about your day leading up to your health problem. They don’t need to know that you got on the bus late that morning. What they do need to know is that you ate a different breakfast than normal and now your stomach hurts.
2-5. Use either open ended or closed questions.
Depending on the situation, you may want to be sure you’re asking either open ended or closed ended questions. When you need a specific answer or a firm yes or no, try to use closed ended questions. When you need as much information as possible, use open ended questions.
Open ended questions usually start with phrases like “why” and “tell me more about”.
Closed ended questions usually start with phrases like “when” and “who”.
2-6. Sound confident.
Sound confident when you ask. Don’t be apologetic or self-deprecating. This will make you seem like you are more intelligent and make someone less likely to judge you on what you’re asking. This is more important in some situations than in others. If you’re asking a teacher a question, don’t worry about this. If you’re asking a question in a job interview, however, it’s probably a good idea.
2-7. Don’t use filler language.
Filler language is language like “erm”, ”um”, “uh“, “ah”, “em”, “like”, etc. These are words you put in a sentence while you’re looking for the next word you want to use. Most people do it completely unconsciously. Use as little filler language as possible if you want to appear more intelligent, and want your question to seem more well-thought-out.
2-8. Explain why you’re asking.
If it helps and the situation allows, you should consider explaining why you’re asking or what your eventual goal is. This may help clear up misunderstandings and may help the person you are asking to give you information you didn’t even know you needed.
2-9. Never ask a question in an aggressive manner.
This indicates that you are only asking the question to prove to the other person that you are right and they are wrong, meaning that you are argumentative and not open-minded. Ask because you are genuinely interested. Otherwise, you will receive a defensive and less than helpful response.
Don't ask: "Isn't it true that more people would be well-fed if we ate grains directly rather than feeding it to animals and eating their meat?"
Ask: "Many vegetarians argue that there would be more food available if society didn't invest in meat production. The argument seems to make sense, but do you know of any arguments on the flip side?"
2-10. Just ask!
The most important part of asking a question is to just ask! There is essentially no such thing as a stupid question so you shouldn’t be ashamed to be asking for help. Asking questions is what truly smart people do! Also, the longer you put off asking, the more difficult your problem may become.
3. Perfecting Your Question
3-1. Hit the nail on the head.
The most important thing, to ask a question intelligently is to have as much information to start off with, know a bit of what you're talking about, and to not be asking a dumb question. Generally there is no such thing as a dumb question, but if you could have answered it yourself with a quick Google search, then that is pretty dumb. Read below to really perfect your question before you ask it.
3-2. Consider your goal.
You need to decide what the intended goal of your question is. What will the answer help you accomplish, really? This will be helpful in deciding what information you require from the person you’re asking. The more specifics you know about what you need, the more intelligent your questions will be and the smarter you will appear.
3-3. Compare what you know and what you don’t.
Before you ask, think about what you do know about the topic and what you don’t know. Do you have a lot of information and only need small details? Do you know almost nothing? The more information you know about a topic, the more intelligent your questions can be.
3-4. Look for points of misunderstanding.
Examine what you know about the topic and what you’re confused about. Are you sure about the things that you do know? Oftentimes what we think we know creates questions that don’t really have answers because our initial information was wrong. It may be a good idea to do some basic fact checking, if you can.
3-5. Try looking at the issue from all sides.
It may be possible to answer your own questions, by looking at the problem from all sides. A new approach may help you see something you couldn’t see before, resolving any problems you had on the issue.
3-6. Research first
If you still have questions and the opportunity is available, you should do your own research before asking the question. Knowing as much as you can about the subject before asking the question is the most important part about asking a question intelligently. That you are acquainted with the subject will show when you talk about it.
3-7. Decide what information you need.
Once you’ve done your research, you will be better informed about exactly what information you need. Consider this and, if possible, write it down so you don’t forget anything when you’re ready to ask.
3-8. Find the right person to ask.
Another major component of asking a question intelligently is making sure that you’re asking the right person. Being informed about the issue will help you be better prepared for this, but under certain circumstances you still might want to be sure that you’re contacting the correct person (if you are trying to contact a particular department or otherwise asking someone you do not know for help, for example).
4. Adjusting for Environment
4-1. Ask questions in an interview.
When asking questions of a potential employer, you want to show that you think really hard about how you work and how you'd work well in that particular environment. Show them that you're in line with their company values and policies. Ask questions like:
"Can you please describe a typical week in this position?"
"What opportunities will I have for growth and advancement?"
"How does this company manage its employees?"
4-2. Ask questions of an interviewee.
When asking questions of an interviewee, you should be looking for signs of what type of employee they'll be. Avoid the standard questions, as you'll get a pre-packaged response rather than pure honesty, which is more likely to come out when you ask unique questions. Try asking questions like:
"What types of work would you not want to do in this position?" This question reveals weaknesses that you can expect.
"How do you think this job will have to change in the next 5 years? 10?" This question reveals how they respond to change and whether they can plan ahead.
"When is it okay to break the rules?" This question is great at evaluating their ethics and whether or not they can adapt to complex situations or remain rigid.
4-3. Ask questions online.
People will be most likely to answer your online questions if they are, in fact, reasonable questions. People don't want to answer something that you could have found out for yourself with 2 minutes and a Google search (or a wikiHow!). To increase your chances even further, read the sections below. In the mean time make sure to:
Always research first. Do basic research to try to answer your own question.
Keep calm. Getting angry of flustered and having that show in writing will generally make people either ignore or make fun of you.
Use the best spelling and grammar possible. This will show that you're serious and expect a serious answer. If you aren't sure about your spelling or grammar, try typing it into Word or Google Docs to get a quick spelling and grammar check.
4-4. Ask questions in a business meeting.
Questions asked in business meetings can vary widely, depending on the business and what role you play. If the previous and following sections don't help, you can at least follow these basic ideas:
Ask questions that move things forward and solve problems. Ask questions about whether or not the meeting is on task. Figure out how the discussion topic relates to problems that the company is facing.
Get to the point. Don't ramble. This will make people tune out and be dismissive.
Look to the future. Ask questions about how the company needs to adapt in the future and what major hurdles will need to be overcome in order to succeed.
5. Getting the Most From the Answer
5-1. Avoid making them uncomfortable.
If you find the information provider is beginning to feel uncomfortable and maybe out of their depth, do not press the issues. Unless you are questioning in a professional capacity as a journalist, senator, or lawyer, it is rare that a public grilling amounts to any good under most situations. As a member of the public or a student in class, you are seeking information, not a roasting. Back down and thank them. Often there will be time afterwards to chase them down and discuss things privately. Even if you are trying to extract information in the public interest, you have to realize that a delicate approach may be necessary to get real answers.
5-2. Listen instead of talking over the response.
If you want to get the most from the answer you are given, you need to start by listening to what the person has to say. Only intervene if they have clearly misunderstood an important piece of information and do so politely.
5-3. Wait for them to finish their answer.
It may seem like they’ve neglected an important piece of information but don’t probe for more until they’re done talking. They may not have gotten to their full answer yet or they may be waiting to get to that part of the answer because there is other information you have to understand first.
5-4. Think about what they said.
Think through all of the information they just gave you. Think about how the answer applies to your problem and if all of your questions were addressed. Don’t just take the information at face value, either. If something seems off, you might have gotten bad information! Just because you asked someone a question doesn’t mean they’ll have the right answer.
5-5. Ask for clarification when you need it.
If the answer they gave you doesn’t make sense or there is something about it that you don’t understand, don’t be too embarrassed to ask for further clarification. This will help keep further problems from arising because you did not get all the information you needed.
5-6. Keep asking questions.
Ask more questions if they come up until you have as complete an answer as possible. You may find that you bring up questions and information that didn’t occur to you originally. Asking more questions will also show the person that you’re asking that you’re really processing and appreciating the information they’re giving you.
5-7. Ask for generally related advice.
You can also ask for general advice in the area you’re asking about, if the person is an expert. They have a lot of information you don’t, but they’ve also been in a position where they had to learn all this information. They probably have some pro-tips that they wish someone had given them.
Tips
Do not use huge words. They will make you sound pretentious. Just tap into your thoughtful but friendly side and don't worry too much about coming off as brilliant.
Incorporate the audience into the question. Invite them in with phrases such as- "did you think about.." or "Have you considered this question..."
Overdoing yourself is not very educated. Don't try to sound educated by using words that you do not understand or making it under-/over-done, for example:
"Did you go to the 'pharmacy' yesterday to get a physical?" (wrong word).
"Did you go to the doctor to get that thing where they observe and poke at you, do a lot of testing and stuff to get your doctor to tell you if you're the ship-sharpest person?" (which sounds too casual).
"Did you proceed to the physician to obtain a physical for your extracurricular activity to verify that the practitioner finds you to be in the most perfect exemplary condition in contrast to all his other patients?" (which sounds over-done).
Warnings
Never ask a question just for the sake of it, whether it be to bring attention to yourself or for appearing smart. That is the worst possible motivation for asking a question.
Watch out for getting aggressive at the response you get if you don't like the answers you get. If you're not willing to receive any and all answers, don't ask the question. Sometimes a person can answer aggressively to your innocent query. Don't fret.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Basic Technique\\n1-1. State what you know.\\nState something that you do understand about the topic. This will show that you understand something about it and make you sound smarter.\\n\\\"...I understand that King Henry wanted to split with the Catholic Church so that he could get a divorce....\\\"\\n\\\"...I understand that the job includes benefits...\\\"\\n\\\"...I understand that intake is up across the board...\\\"\\n1-2. State what you don't know.\\n\\\"...but I don't understand how that led to the creation of the Church of England.\\\"\\n\\\"...but I'm unclear on whether or not you include dental in that.\\\"\\n\\\"...but I think I missed why we're responding this way.\\\"\\n1-3. Sound confident.\\nYou want to project the idea that you're perfectly smart and you were totally paying attention, there was just some communication mix up.\\n1-4. Have a come back.\\nIf they respond and tell you that the information was plainly stated, have a response ready to make yourself seem smarter.\\n\\\"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said something completely different and thought it seemed a bit off. I didn't want to be rude and presume you were wrong. It's my fault, I apologize.\\\" And so on....\\n1-5. Explain your misunderstanding.\\nGive an excuse as to \\\"how you got confused\\\". This does not need to be true but should hide the fact that you might not have been paying the closest attention.\\n\\\"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you...\\\"\\n\\\"I'm a bit unclear with that explanation...\\\"\\n\\\"I think I might have missed something while I was taking notes here...\\\"\\n1-6. Speak as well as you can.\\nWhen you talk, use proper English with a reasonable vocabulary and good grammar. Do the best that you can. This will go a long way towards making you and your question seem more intelligent.\\n2. Forming Your Question\\n2-1. Use correct grammar.\\nWhen you ask your question, use the best grammar and pronunciation that you can. Speak clearly and enunciate. This will not only make you appear more intelligent, but it will help make sure that the person you are asking can understand you and what you want to know.\\n2-2. Use specific language.\\nTry to be as specific as you can and use specific language. Don’t use hyperbole, and make sure to ask about what you really want to ask about. For example, don’t ask a business person if they’re hiring at all, if you’re really only interested in a particular position. Similarly, don’t ask if they have a position open, but instead ask if they are hiring for the position you’re looking for or would be qualified for.\\n2-3. Ask politely and second-guess carefully.\\nYou are seeking information to fill a gap in your knowledge and here is the person who may have the answer, so be polite! If appropriate, if you do not really feel comfortable with the response or feel that it does not respond to what you have asked, proceed gently by asking how they know this information. Ask what the general trend is that would short cut a path to that knowledge, meaning that you are seeking the tools to answer the questions yourself from this point onwards.\\n2-4. Keep the question simple.\\nDon’t ramble or explain anything more than what is needed to understand your problem and answer the question. Extra information can be distracting and may cause you to get an answer for an entirely different question that what you wanted to ask, if the person you’re asking misunderstands your purpose.\\nFor example, don’t tell your doctor all about your day leading up to your health problem. They don’t need to know that you got on the bus late that morning. What they do need to know is that you ate a different breakfast than normal and now your stomach hurts.\\n2-5. Use either open ended or closed questions.\\nDepending on the situation, you may want to be sure you’re asking either open ended or closed ended questions. When you need a specific answer or a firm yes or no, try to use closed ended questions. When you need as much information as possible, use open ended questions.\\nOpen ended questions usually start with phrases like “why” and “tell me more about”.\\nClosed ended questions usually start with phrases like “when” and “who”.\\n2-6. Sound confident.\\nSound confident when you ask. Don’t be apologetic or self-deprecating. This will make you seem like you are more intelligent and make someone less likely to judge you on what you’re asking. This is more important in some situations than in others. If you’re asking a teacher a question, don’t worry about this. If you’re asking a question in a job interview, however, it’s probably a good idea.\\n2-7. Don’t use filler language.\\nFiller language is language like “erm”, ”um”, “uh“, “ah”, “em”, “like”, etc. These are words you put in a sentence while you’re looking for the next word you want to use. Most people do it completely unconsciously. Use as little filler language as possible if you want to appear more intelligent, and want your question to seem more well-thought-out.\\n2-8. Explain why you’re asking.\\nIf it helps and the situation allows, you should consider explaining why you’re asking or what your eventual goal is. This may help clear up misunderstandings and may help the person you are asking to give you information you didn’t even know you needed.\\n2-9. Never ask a question in an aggressive manner.\\nThis indicates that you are only asking the question to prove to the other person that you are right and they are wrong, meaning that you are argumentative and not open-minded. Ask because you are genuinely interested. Otherwise, you will receive a defensive and less than helpful response.\\nDon't ask: \\\"Isn't it true that more people would be well-fed if we ate grains directly rather than feeding it to animals and eating their meat?\\\"\\nAsk: \\\"Many vegetarians argue that there would be more food available if society didn't invest in meat production. The argument seems to make sense, but do you know of any arguments on the flip side?\\\"\\n2-10. Just ask!\\nThe most important part of asking a question is to just ask! There is essentially no such thing as a stupid question so you shouldn’t be ashamed to be asking for help. Asking questions is what truly smart people do! Also, the longer you put off asking, the more difficult your problem may become.\\n3. Perfecting Your Question\\n3-1. Hit the nail on the head.\\nThe most important thing, to ask a question intelligently is to have as much information to start off with, know a bit of what you're talking about, and to not be asking a dumb question. Generally there is no such thing as a dumb question, but if you could have answered it yourself with a quick Google search, then that is pretty dumb. Read below to really perfect your question before you ask it.\\n3-2. Consider your goal.\\nYou need to decide what the intended goal of your question is. What will the answer help you accomplish, really? This will be helpful in deciding what information you require from the person you’re asking. The more specifics you know about what you need, the more intelligent your questions will be and the smarter you will appear.\\n3-3. Compare what you know and what you don’t.\\nBefore you ask, think about what you do know about the topic and what you don’t know. Do you have a lot of information and only need small details? Do you know almost nothing? The more information you know about a topic, the more intelligent your questions can be.\\n3-4. Look for points of misunderstanding.\\nExamine what you know about the topic and what you’re confused about. Are you sure about the things that you do know? Oftentimes what we think we know creates questions that don’t really have answers because our initial information was wrong. It may be a good idea to do some basic fact checking, if you can.\\n3-5. Try looking at the issue from all sides.\\nIt may be possible to answer your own questions, by looking at the problem from all sides. A new approach may help you see something you couldn’t see before, resolving any problems you had on the issue.\\n3-6. Research first\\nIf you still have questions and the opportunity is available, you should do your own research before asking the question. Knowing as much as you can about the subject before asking the question is the most important part about asking a question intelligently. That you are acquainted with the subject will show when you talk about it.\\n3-7. Decide what information you need.\\nOnce you’ve done your research, you will be better informed about exactly what information you need. Consider this and, if possible, write it down so you don’t forget anything when you’re ready to ask.\\n3-8. Find the right person to ask.\\nAnother major component of asking a question intelligently is making sure that you’re asking the right person. Being informed about the issue will help you be better prepared for this, but under certain circumstances you still might want to be sure that you’re contacting the correct person (if you are trying to contact a particular department or otherwise asking someone you do not know for help, for example).\\n4. Adjusting for Environment\\n4-1. Ask questions in an interview.\\nWhen asking questions of a potential employer, you want to show that you think really hard about how you work and how you'd work well in that particular environment. Show them that you're in line with their company values and policies. Ask questions like:\\n\\\"Can you please describe a typical week in this position?\\\"\\n\\\"What opportunities will I have for growth and advancement?\\\"\\n\\\"How does this company manage its employees?\\\"\\n4-2. Ask questions of an interviewee.\\nWhen asking questions of an interviewee, you should be looking for signs of what type of employee they'll be. Avoid the standard questions, as you'll get a pre-packaged response rather than pure honesty, which is more likely to come out when you ask unique questions. Try asking questions like:\\n\\\"What types of work would you not want to do in this position?\\\" This question reveals weaknesses that you can expect.\\n\\\"How do you think this job will have to change in the next 5 years? 10?\\\" This question reveals how they respond to change and whether they can plan ahead.\\n\\\"When is it okay to break the rules?\\\" This question is great at evaluating their ethics and whether or not they can adapt to complex situations or remain rigid.\\n4-3. Ask questions online.\\nPeople will be most likely to answer your online questions if they are, in fact, reasonable questions. People don't want to answer something that you could have found out for yourself with 2 minutes and a Google search (or a wikiHow!). To increase your chances even further, read the sections below. In the mean time make sure to:\\nAlways research first. Do basic research to try to answer your own question.\\nKeep calm. Getting angry of flustered and having that show in writing will generally make people either ignore or make fun of you.\\nUse the best spelling and grammar possible. This will show that you're serious and expect a serious answer. If you aren't sure about your spelling or grammar, try typing it into Word or Google Docs to get a quick spelling and grammar check.\\n4-4. Ask questions in a business meeting.\\nQuestions asked in business meetings can vary widely, depending on the business and what role you play. If the previous and following sections don't help, you can at least follow these basic ideas:\\nAsk questions that move things forward and solve problems. Ask questions about whether or not the meeting is on task. Figure out how the discussion topic relates to problems that the company is facing.\\nGet to the point. Don't ramble. This will make people tune out and be dismissive.\\nLook to the future. Ask questions about how the company needs to adapt in the future and what major hurdles will need to be overcome in order to succeed.\\n5. Getting the Most From the Answer\\n5-1. Avoid making them uncomfortable.\\nIf you find the information provider is beginning to feel uncomfortable and maybe out of their depth, do not press the issues. Unless you are questioning in a professional capacity as a journalist, senator, or lawyer, it is rare that a public grilling amounts to any good under most situations. As a member of the public or a student in class, you are seeking information, not a roasting. Back down and thank them. Often there will be time afterwards to chase them down and discuss things privately. Even if you are trying to extract information in the public interest, you have to realize that a delicate approach may be necessary to get real answers.\\n5-2. Listen instead of talking over the response.\\nIf you want to get the most from the answer you are given, you need to start by listening to what the person has to say. Only intervene if they have clearly misunderstood an important piece of information and do so politely.\\n5-3. Wait for them to finish their answer.\\nIt may seem like they’ve neglected an important piece of information but don’t probe for more until they’re done talking. They may not have gotten to their full answer yet or they may be waiting to get to that part of the answer because there is other information you have to understand first.\\n5-4. Think about what they said.\\nThink through all of the information they just gave you. Think about how the answer applies to your problem and if all of your questions were addressed. Don’t just take the information at face value, either. If something seems off, you might have gotten bad information! Just because you asked someone a question doesn’t mean they’ll have the right answer.\\n5-5. Ask for clarification when you need it.\\nIf the answer they gave you doesn’t make sense or there is something about it that you don’t understand, don’t be too embarrassed to ask for further clarification. This will help keep further problems from arising because you did not get all the information you needed.\\n5-6. Keep asking questions.\\nAsk more questions if they come up until you have as complete an answer as possible. You may find that you bring up questions and information that didn’t occur to you originally. Asking more questions will also show the person that you’re asking that you’re really processing and appreciating the information they’re giving you.\\n5-7. Ask for generally related advice.\\nYou can also ask for general advice in the area you’re asking about, if the person is an expert. They have a lot of information you don’t, but they’ve also been in a position where they had to learn all this information. They probably have some pro-tips that they wish someone had given them.\\nTips\\nDo not use huge words. They will make you sound pretentious. Just tap into your thoughtful but friendly side and don't worry too much about coming off as brilliant.\\nIncorporate the audience into the question. Invite them in with phrases such as- \\\"did you think about..\\\" or \\\"Have you considered this question...\\\"\\nOverdoing yourself is not very educated. Don't try to sound educated by using words that you do not understand or making it under-/over-done, for example:\\n\\n\\\"Did you go to the 'pharmacy' yesterday to get a physical?\\\" (wrong word).\\n\\\"Did you go to the doctor to get that thing where they observe and poke at you, do a lot of testing and stuff to get your doctor to tell you if you're the ship-sharpest person?\\\" (which sounds too casual).\\n\\\"Did you proceed to the physician to obtain a physical for your extracurricular activity to verify that the practitioner finds you to be in the most perfect exemplary condition in contrast to all his other patients?\\\" (which sounds over-done).\\nWarnings\\nNever ask a question just for the sake of it, whether it be to bring attention to yourself or for appearing smart. That is the worst possible motivation for asking a question.\\nWatch out for getting aggressive at the response you get if you don't like the answers you get. If you're not willing to receive any and all answers, don't ask the question. Sometimes a person can answer aggressively to your innocent query. Don't fret.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Do you have questions but you're afraid of what someone will think if you ask or worried about getting the most from the answer? You can find some tips (below the jump) for asking more open-minded and informed questions that will help not only you but others to comprehend information placed before you, as well as extracting more information useful to you. However, if you need more specific help, feel free to also check out the sections listed above!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Basic Technique\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"State what you know.\", \"描述\": \"State something that you do understand about the topic. This will show that you understand something about it and make you sound smarter.\\n\\\"...I understand that King Henry wanted to split with the Catholic Church so that he could get a divorce....\\\"\\n\\\"...I understand that the job includes benefits...\\\"\\n\\\"...I understand that intake is up across the board...\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"State what you don't know.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"...but I don't understand how that led to the creation of the Church of England.\\\"\\n\\\"...but I'm unclear on whether or not you include dental in that.\\\"\\n\\\"...but I think I missed why we're responding this way.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sound confident.\", \"描述\": \"You want to project the idea that you're perfectly smart and you were totally paying attention, there was just some communication mix up.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Have a come back.\", \"描述\": \"If they respond and tell you that the information was plainly stated, have a response ready to make yourself seem smarter.\\n\\\"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said something completely different and thought it seemed a bit off. I didn't want to be rude and presume you were wrong. It's my fault, I apologize.\\\" And so on....\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Explain your misunderstanding.\", \"描述\": \"Give an excuse as to \\\"how you got confused\\\". This does not need to be true but should hide the fact that you might not have been paying the closest attention.\\n\\\"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you...\\\"\\n\\\"I'm a bit unclear with that explanation...\\\"\\n\\\"I think I might have missed something while I was taking notes here...\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Speak as well as you can.\", \"描述\": \"When you talk, use proper English with a reasonable vocabulary and good grammar. Do the best that you can. This will go a long way towards making you and your question seem more intelligent.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Forming Your Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use correct grammar.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask your question, use the best grammar and pronunciation that you can. Speak clearly and enunciate. This will not only make you appear more intelligent, but it will help make sure that the person you are asking can understand you and what you want to know.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Use specific language.\", \"描述\": \"Try to be as specific as you can and use specific language. Don’t use hyperbole, and make sure to ask about what you really want to ask about. For example, don’t ask a business person if they’re hiring at all, if you’re really only interested in a particular position. Similarly, don’t ask if they have a position open, but instead ask if they are hiring for the position you’re looking for or would be qualified for.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask politely and second-guess carefully.\", \"描述\": \"You are seeking information to fill a gap in your knowledge and here is the person who may have the answer, so be polite! If appropriate, if you do not really feel comfortable with the response or feel that it does not respond to what you have asked, proceed gently by asking how they know this information. Ask what the general trend is that would short cut a path to that knowledge, meaning that you are seeking the tools to answer the questions yourself from this point onwards.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Keep the question simple.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t ramble or explain anything more than what is needed to understand your problem and answer the question. Extra information can be distracting and may cause you to get an answer for an entirely different question that what you wanted to ask, if the person you’re asking misunderstands your purpose.\\nFor example, don’t tell your doctor all about your day leading up to your health problem. They don’t need to know that you got on the bus late that morning. What they do need to know is that you ate a different breakfast than normal and now your stomach hurts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use either open ended or closed questions.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on the situation, you may want to be sure you’re asking either open ended or closed ended questions. When you need a specific answer or a firm yes or no, try to use closed ended questions. When you need as much information as possible, use open ended questions.\\nOpen ended questions usually start with phrases like “why” and “tell me more about”.\\nClosed ended questions usually start with phrases like “when” and “who”.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Sound confident.\", \"描述\": \"Sound confident when you ask. Don’t be apologetic or self-deprecating. This will make you seem like you are more intelligent and make someone less likely to judge you on what you’re asking. This is more important in some situations than in others. If you’re asking a teacher a question, don’t worry about this. If you’re asking a question in a job interview, however, it’s probably a good idea.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don’t use filler language.\", \"描述\": \"Filler language is language like “erm”, ”um”, “uh“, “ah”, “em”, “like”, etc. These are words you put in a sentence while you’re looking for the next word you want to use. Most people do it completely unconsciously. Use as little filler language as possible if you want to appear more intelligent, and want your question to seem more well-thought-out.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Explain why you’re asking.\", \"描述\": \"If it helps and the situation allows, you should consider explaining why you’re asking or what your eventual goal is. This may help clear up misunderstandings and may help the person you are asking to give you information you didn’t even know you needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Never ask a question in an aggressive manner.\", \"描述\": \"This indicates that you are only asking the question to prove to the other person that you are right and they are wrong, meaning that you are argumentative and not open-minded. Ask because you are genuinely interested. Otherwise, you will receive a defensive and less than helpful response.\\nDon't ask: \\\"Isn't it true that more people would be well-fed if we ate grains directly rather than feeding it to animals and eating their meat?\\\"\\nAsk: \\\"Many vegetarians argue that there would be more food available if society didn't invest in meat production. The argument seems to make sense, but do you know of any arguments on the flip side?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Just ask!\", \"描述\": \"The most important part of asking a question is to just ask! There is essentially no such thing as a stupid question so you shouldn’t be ashamed to be asking for help. Asking questions is what truly smart people do! Also, the longer you put off asking, the more difficult your problem may become.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Perfecting Your Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hit the nail on the head.\", \"描述\": \"The most important thing, to ask a question intelligently is to have as much information to start off with, know a bit of what you're talking about, and to not be asking a dumb question. Generally there is no such thing as a dumb question, but if you could have answered it yourself with a quick Google search, then that is pretty dumb. Read below to really perfect your question before you ask it.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider your goal.\", \"描述\": \"You need to decide what the intended goal of your question is. What will the answer help you accomplish, really? This will be helpful in deciding what information you require from the person you’re asking. The more specifics you know about what you need, the more intelligent your questions will be and the smarter you will appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Compare what you know and what you don’t.\", \"描述\": \"Before you ask, think about what you do know about the topic and what you don’t know. Do you have a lot of information and only need small details? Do you know almost nothing? The more information you know about a topic, the more intelligent your questions can be.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Look for points of misunderstanding.\", \"描述\": \"Examine what you know about the topic and what you’re confused about. Are you sure about the things that you do know? Oftentimes what we think we know creates questions that don’t really have answers because our initial information was wrong. It may be a good idea to do some basic fact checking, if you can.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Try looking at the issue from all sides.\", \"描述\": \"It may be possible to answer your own questions, by looking at the problem from all sides. A new approach may help you see something you couldn’t see before, resolving any problems you had on the issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Research first\", \"描述\": \"If you still have questions and the opportunity is available, you should do your own research before asking the question. Knowing as much as you can about the subject before asking the question is the most important part about asking a question intelligently. That you are acquainted with the subject will show when you talk about it.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Decide what information you need.\", \"描述\": \"Once you’ve done your research, you will be better informed about exactly what information you need. Consider this and, if possible, write it down so you don’t forget anything when you’re ready to ask.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Find the right person to ask.\", \"描述\": \"Another major component of asking a question intelligently is making sure that you’re asking the right person. Being informed about the issue will help you be better prepared for this, but under certain circumstances you still might want to be sure that you’re contacting the correct person (if you are trying to contact a particular department or otherwise asking someone you do not know for help, for example).\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adjusting for Environment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask questions in an interview.\", \"描述\": \"When asking questions of a potential employer, you want to show that you think really hard about how you work and how you'd work well in that particular environment. Show them that you're in line with their company values and policies. Ask questions like:\\n\\\"Can you please describe a typical week in this position?\\\"\\n\\\"What opportunities will I have for growth and advancement?\\\"\\n\\\"How does this company manage its employees?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Ask questions of an interviewee.\", \"描述\": \"When asking questions of an interviewee, you should be looking for signs of what type of employee they'll be. Avoid the standard questions, as you'll get a pre-packaged response rather than pure honesty, which is more likely to come out when you ask unique questions. Try asking questions like:\\n\\\"What types of work would you not want to do in this position?\\\" This question reveals weaknesses that you can expect.\\n\\\"How do you think this job will have to change in the next 5 years? 10?\\\" This question reveals how they respond to change and whether they can plan ahead.\\n\\\"When is it okay to break the rules?\\\" This question is great at evaluating their ethics and whether or not they can adapt to complex situations or remain rigid.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask questions online.\", \"描述\": \"People will be most likely to answer your online questions if they are, in fact, reasonable questions. People don't want to answer something that you could have found out for yourself with 2 minutes and a Google search (or a wikiHow!). To increase your chances even further, read the sections below. In the mean time make sure to:\\nAlways research first. Do basic research to try to answer your own question.\\nKeep calm. Getting angry of flustered and having that show in writing will generally make people either ignore or make fun of you.\\nUse the best spelling and grammar possible. This will show that you're serious and expect a serious answer. If you aren't sure about your spelling or grammar, try typing it into Word or Google Docs to get a quick spelling and grammar check.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask questions in a business meeting.\", \"描述\": \"Questions asked in business meetings can vary widely, depending on the business and what role you play. If the previous and following sections don't help, you can at least follow these basic ideas:\\nAsk questions that move things forward and solve problems. Ask questions about whether or not the meeting is on task. Figure out how the discussion topic relates to problems that the company is facing.\\nGet to the point. Don't ramble. This will make people tune out and be dismissive.\\nLook to the future. Ask questions about how the company needs to adapt in the future and what major hurdles will need to be overcome in order to succeed.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Getting the Most From the Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid making them uncomfortable.\", \"描述\": \"If you find the information provider is beginning to feel uncomfortable and maybe out of their depth, do not press the issues. Unless you are questioning in a professional capacity as a journalist, senator, or lawyer, it is rare that a public grilling amounts to any good under most situations. As a member of the public or a student in class, you are seeking information, not a roasting. Back down and thank them. Often there will be time afterwards to chase them down and discuss things privately. Even if you are trying to extract information in the public interest, you have to realize that a delicate approach may be necessary to get real answers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen instead of talking over the response.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to get the most from the answer you are given, you need to start by listening to what the person has to say. Only intervene if they have clearly misunderstood an important piece of information and do so politely.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wait for them to finish their answer.\", \"描述\": \"It may seem like they’ve neglected an important piece of information but don’t probe for more until they’re done talking. They may not have gotten to their full answer yet or they may be waiting to get to that part of the answer because there is other information you have to understand first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Think about what they said.\", \"描述\": \"Think through all of the information they just gave you. Think about how the answer applies to your problem and if all of your questions were addressed. Don’t just take the information at face value, either. If something seems off, you might have gotten bad information! Just because you asked someone a question doesn’t mean they’ll have the right answer.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask for clarification when you need it.\", \"描述\": \"If the answer they gave you doesn’t make sense or there is something about it that you don’t understand, don’t be too embarrassed to ask for further clarification. This will help keep further problems from arising because you did not get all the information you needed.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Keep asking questions.\", \"描述\": \"Ask more questions if they come up until you have as complete an answer as possible. You may find that you bring up questions and information that didn’t occur to you originally. Asking more questions will also show the person that you’re asking that you’re really processing and appreciating the information they’re giving you.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask for generally related advice.\", \"描述\": \"You can also ask for general advice in the area you’re asking about, if the person is an expert. They have a lot of information you don’t, but they’ve also been in a position where they had to learn all this information. They probably have some pro-tips that they wish someone had given them.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Do not use huge words. They will make you sound pretentious. Just tap into your thoughtful but friendly side and don't worry too much about coming off as brilliant.\\n\", \"Incorporate the audience into the question. Invite them in with phrases such as- \\\"did you think about..\\\" or \\\"Have you considered this question...\\\"\\n\", \"Overdoing yourself is not very educated. Don't try to sound educated by using words that you do not understand or making it under-/over-done, for example:\\n\\n\\\"Did you go to the 'pharmacy' yesterday to get a physical?\\\" (wrong word).\\n\\\"Did you go to the doctor to get that thing where they observe and poke at you, do a lot of testing and stuff to get your doctor to tell you if you're the ship-sharpest person?\\\" (which sounds too casual).\\n\\\"Did you proceed to the physician to obtain a physical for your extracurricular activity to verify that the practitioner finds you to be in the most perfect exemplary condition in contrast to all his other patients?\\\" (which sounds over-done).\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never ask a question just for the sake of it, whether it be to bring attention to yourself or for appearing smart. That is the worst possible motivation for asking a question.\\n\", \"Watch out for getting aggressive at the response you get if you don't like the answers you get. If you're not willing to receive any and all answers, don't ask the question. Sometimes a person can answer aggressively to your innocent query. Don't fret.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,589 | How to Ask a Question on Facebook | 1. On Desktop
1-1. Open Facebook.
Go to https://www.facebook.com/. This will open your Facebook News Feed if you're logged in.
If you aren't logged in, enter your email address (or phone number) and password in the top-right side of the page.
1-2. Click Groups.
This tab is on the left side of the page in the column of options.
If you don't see here: click {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/8\/82\/Android7dropdown.png","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/82\/Android7dropdown.png\/30px-Android7dropdown.png","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":460,"bigWidth":30,"bigHeight":30,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\n<\/p><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Fair_use\">Fair Use<\/a><br>\n<\/p><\/div>"} in the upper-right side of the page, then click in the drop-down menu.
1-3. Click the Groups tab.
It's in the upper-left side of the page.
1-4. Select a group.
Click the name of a group that you want to post in.
You can only post in groups of which you're a member.
1-5. Click Create Poll.
This option is below the post box that's below the cover photo. Doing so will open a new poll post.
1-6. Enter your poll's question.
Click the text box at the top of the poll window, then type in your poll's question.
1-7. Enter answers to your poll.
Click the text field below the question, then type in an answer. Repeat this process for each answer you want to provide.
Each time you click a field, a new blank one will appear below the one you're currently using.
1-8. Edit your poll's options.
Select in the bottom-left corner of the post, then uncheck or if needed.
Skip this step if you're happy with the poll's settings as they are.
1-9. Click Post.
It's in the bottom-right corner of the poll window. Doing so will post your poll on the group's page. Members will be able to choose an answer (or multiple answers) for your question.
2. On Mobile
2-1. Open Facebook.
The Facebook app icon looks like a white "f" on a dark-blue background. Facebook will open to your News Feed if you're already logged in.
If you aren't already logged in, enter your email address (or phone number) and password, then tap .
2-2. Tap ☰.
It's in either the bottom-right corner of the screen (iPhone) or the top-right corner of the screen (Android).
2-3. Tap Groups.
This option is in the middle of the menu.
2-4. Tap the Groups tab.
It's in the upper-left corner.
2-5. Select a group.
Tap the group in which you want to post your question.
You must be a member of the group in which you post.
2-6. Tap ⋯.
It's to the right of the post box, which is below the row of options that's under the cover photo. A menu will appear.
2-7. Tap Create a Poll.
This option is in the menu. Doing so opens a new poll window.
2-8. Enter your poll's question.
Tap the text box near the top of the screen (it usually has "Ask something..." in it), then type in the question.
2-9. Enter poll answers.
Tap below the question box, type in an answer, and tap to enter an answer. You'll do this for as many answers as you want to provide.
You can also tap the gear to the right of this option to determine who can add options, as well as whether or not members can select multiple options.
2-10. Tap Post.
It's in the top-right corner of the screen. Doing so will post your poll on the group's page. Members will be able to choose an answer (or multiple answers) for your question.
Tips
You will receive notifications whenever someone answers your poll questions.
Warnings
If the group you post in isn't secret or closed, non-group members will be able to see the poll and its answers.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. On Desktop\\n1-1. Open Facebook.\\nGo to https://www.facebook.com/. This will open your Facebook News Feed if you're logged in.\\nIf you aren't logged in, enter your email address (or phone number) and password in the top-right side of the page.\\n1-2. Click Groups.\\nThis tab is on the left side of the page in the column of options.\\nIf you don't see here: click {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/8\\\\/82\\\\/Android7dropdown.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/8\\\\/82\\\\/Android7dropdown.png\\\\/30px-Android7dropdown.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} in the upper-right side of the page, then click in the drop-down menu.\\n1-3. Click the Groups tab.\\nIt's in the upper-left side of the page.\\n1-4. Select a group.\\nClick the name of a group that you want to post in.\\nYou can only post in groups of which you're a member.\\n1-5. Click Create Poll.\\nThis option is below the post box that's below the cover photo. Doing so will open a new poll post.\\n1-6. Enter your poll's question.\\nClick the text box at the top of the poll window, then type in your poll's question.\\n1-7. Enter answers to your poll.\\nClick the text field below the question, then type in an answer. Repeat this process for each answer you want to provide.\\nEach time you click a field, a new blank one will appear below the one you're currently using.\\n1-8. Edit your poll's options.\\nSelect in the bottom-left corner of the post, then uncheck or if needed.\\nSkip this step if you're happy with the poll's settings as they are.\\n1-9. Click Post.\\nIt's in the bottom-right corner of the poll window. Doing so will post your poll on the group's page. Members will be able to choose an answer (or multiple answers) for your question.\\n2. On Mobile\\n2-1. Open Facebook.\\nThe Facebook app icon looks like a white \\\"f\\\" on a dark-blue background. Facebook will open to your News Feed if you're already logged in.\\nIf you aren't already logged in, enter your email address (or phone number) and password, then tap .\\n2-2. Tap ☰.\\nIt's in either the bottom-right corner of the screen (iPhone) or the top-right corner of the screen (Android).\\n2-3. Tap Groups.\\nThis option is in the middle of the menu.\\n2-4. Tap the Groups tab.\\nIt's in the upper-left corner.\\n2-5. Select a group.\\nTap the group in which you want to post your question.\\nYou must be a member of the group in which you post.\\n2-6. Tap ⋯.\\nIt's to the right of the post box, which is below the row of options that's under the cover photo. A menu will appear.\\n2-7. Tap Create a Poll.\\nThis option is in the menu. Doing so opens a new poll window.\\n2-8. Enter your poll's question.\\nTap the text box near the top of the screen (it usually has \\\"Ask something...\\\" in it), then type in the question.\\n2-9. Enter poll answers.\\nTap below the question box, type in an answer, and tap to enter an answer. You'll do this for as many answers as you want to provide.\\nYou can also tap the gear to the right of this option to determine who can add options, as well as whether or not members can select multiple options.\\n2-10. Tap Post.\\nIt's in the top-right corner of the screen. Doing so will post your poll on the group's page. Members will be able to choose an answer (or multiple answers) for your question.\\nTips\\nYou will receive notifications whenever someone answers your poll questions.\\nWarnings\\nIf the group you post in isn't secret or closed, non-group members will be able to see the poll and its answers.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"This wikiHow teaches you how to create a poll in a Facebook group on both mobile and desktop versions of Facebook. If you want to post a poll on your own Facebook profile, you'll need to use the Polls app instead. You cannot post a poll on a Facebook page.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"On Desktop\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"Go to https://www.facebook.com/. This will open your Facebook News Feed if you're logged in.\\nIf you aren't logged in, enter your email address (or phone number) and password in the top-right side of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click Groups.\", \"描述\": \"This tab is on the left side of the page in the column of options.\\nIf you don't see here: click {\\\"smallUrl\\\":\\\"https:\\\\/\\\\/www.wikihow.com\\\\/images\\\\/8\\\\/82\\\\/Android7dropdown.png\\\",\\\"bigUrl\\\":\\\"\\\\/images\\\\/thumb\\\\/8\\\\/82\\\\/Android7dropdown.png\\\\/30px-Android7dropdown.png\\\",\\\"smallWidth\\\":460,\\\"smallHeight\\\":460,\\\"bigWidth\\\":30,\\\"bigHeight\\\":30,\\\"licensing\\\":\\\"<div class=\\\\\\\"mw-parser-output\\\\\\\"><p>I edited this screenshot of an Android icon.\\\\n<\\\\/p><p>License: <a target=\\\\\\\"_blank\\\\\\\" rel=\\\\\\\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\\\\\\\" class=\\\\\\\"external text\\\\\\\" href=\\\\\\\"http:\\\\/\\\\/en.wikipedia.org\\\\/wiki\\\\/Fair_use\\\\\\\">Fair Use<\\\\/a><br>\\\\n<\\\\/p><\\\\/div>\\\"} in the upper-right side of the page, then click in the drop-down menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the Groups tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the upper-left side of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Select a group.\", \"描述\": \"Click the name of a group that you want to post in.\\nYou can only post in groups of which you're a member.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Click Create Poll.\", \"描述\": \"This option is below the post box that's below the cover photo. Doing so will open a new poll post.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Enter your poll's question.\", \"描述\": \"Click the text box at the top of the poll window, then type in your poll's question.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Enter answers to your poll.\", \"描述\": \"Click the text field below the question, then type in an answer. Repeat this process for each answer you want to provide.\\nEach time you click a field, a new blank one will appear below the one you're currently using.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Edit your poll's options.\", \"描述\": \"Select in the bottom-left corner of the post, then uncheck or if needed.\\nSkip this step if you're happy with the poll's settings as they are.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Click Post.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the bottom-right corner of the poll window. Doing so will post your poll on the group's page. Members will be able to choose an answer (or multiple answers) for your question.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"On Mobile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open Facebook.\", \"描述\": \"The Facebook app icon looks like a white \\\"f\\\" on a dark-blue background. Facebook will open to your News Feed if you're already logged in.\\nIf you aren't already logged in, enter your email address (or phone number) and password, then tap .\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap ☰.\", \"描述\": \"It's in either the bottom-right corner of the screen (iPhone) or the top-right corner of the screen (Android).\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Tap Groups.\", \"描述\": \"This option is in the middle of the menu.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tap the Groups tab.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the upper-left corner.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Select a group.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the group in which you want to post your question.\\nYou must be a member of the group in which you post.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Tap ⋯.\", \"描述\": \"It's to the right of the post box, which is below the row of options that's under the cover photo. A menu will appear.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Tap Create a Poll.\", \"描述\": \"This option is in the menu. Doing so opens a new poll window.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Enter your poll's question.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the text box near the top of the screen (it usually has \\\"Ask something...\\\" in it), then type in the question.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Enter poll answers.\", \"描述\": \"Tap below the question box, type in an answer, and tap to enter an answer. You'll do this for as many answers as you want to provide.\\nYou can also tap the gear to the right of this option to determine who can add options, as well as whether or not members can select multiple options.\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Tap Post.\", \"描述\": \"It's in the top-right corner of the screen. Doing so will post your poll on the group's page. Members will be able to choose an answer (or multiple answers) for your question.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You will receive notifications whenever someone answers your poll questions.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"If the group you post in isn't secret or closed, non-group members will be able to see the poll and its answers.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,590 | How to Ask a Question on Stack Overflow | 1. Before You Ask
1-1. Verify your question hasn't already been asked or answered.
This can usually be accomplished with a simple online search of the problem you are having. If your question is a duplicate or has already been answered, it may be closed by moderators. Some ways of refining your search are as follows:
To search a tag and a topic, type: [tag] topic
To search a specific phrase, surround it with quotes: "phrase"
To exclude a tag, phrase, or topic, preface these with a minus (-) signFor tags: [tagA] -[tagB] (searches tagA while limiting tagB)For phrases: topic -"phrase" (searches the topic while limiting a specific phrase)For topics: topicA -topicB (searches topicA while limiting topicB)
1-2. Consider your question carefully.
A clear and concise question will help users grasp your problem and answer it more quickly. Be as specific as possible, as this will help users better understand what your problem is and how to advise you.
You can clarify your thoughts by jotting down a short draft before posting.
1-3. Choose a clear and descriptive title.
Your title will serve to draw attention to your question, and a clear title that summarizes your problem generally will help other users know whether they are suited to offer you help.
A general title like, "Error in Code" is incredibly vague. Something like "foo exception in bar due to baz" allows users to understand your problem before even reading the details.
If you are struggling with creating a good title for your problem, you may want to save writing the title for last.
1-4. Expand from your title.
Your question should start with a brief summary of your problem that expands upon your title/topic. Try to explain the way in which you came upon the problem and any limitations that have made it difficult for you to solve on your own.
1-5. Include minimal but sufficient information.
Including too much information can get you into trouble or make it difficult for other users to parse where exactly your problem is. This goes especially for code; copying your entire program into your post is rarely helpful.
1-6. Sign in or sign up.
To post a question on Stack Overflow, you will need to log in with your Google account, Facebook profile, or your Stack Overflow account. If you need to make an account, visit stackoverflow.com and click the "sign up" link found on the top status bar of the page. Then, follow the prompts to create your account and select "log in," which can be found next to the "sign up" link.
2. Asking Your Question
2-1. Click the "Ask Question" button.
Navigate to the Stack Overflow homepage in your browser at stackoverflow.com. In the upper right hand corner of the page, you should see the Ask Question button, which you should click to continue.
2-2. Read the disclaimer.
Then check the box box indicating you have read and understand the disclaimer and click "Proceed." Now you're ready to ask your question!
2-3. Fill in the necessary information.
This is where your problem description and title come in handy. Fill in the information and take a moment to double check spelling and grammar. That last thing you want is someone hassling your usage instead of answering your question. Then click on "Post your question."
2-4. Add any relevant tags.
In the tags field, when you begin typing, the Stack Overflow system will automatically suggest likely tags to help you with this process. Be sure you read the descriptions for your tags. An incorrect tag can seriously limit potential responses.
Three important tags to include with relation to your topic are: language, library, and API.
3. Following up
3-1. Return to your question.
If you have asked a few questions on Stack Overflow, or if you've forgotten the exact title of a question you've recently asked, you can do a user search. To do this type into the search field:
user:username (returns only results for the username provided)
user:username topic (returns only results for the username provided with the associated topic)
3-2. Listen and respond to comments.
Often these will be constructive, and by paying attention, you can learn how to improve your Stack Overflow question asking skills for next time.
Leave your browser open to your post, and respond to questions by editing your post to provide more, or more precise, information.
3-3. Accept and implement possible solutions.
To accept an answer that you consider satisfactory, you can click the green tick-mark under the score of the answer. This will indicate that the question is finished, and will give the user who answered points as a reward for contributing.
3-4. Adjust your title if answers clarified the problem.
Sometimes, as the question you have posted is being answered, you may realize that a more apt title could have been used or a different description would have fit it better. In this case, edit your title so other users can find and use your Q&A more easily.
For example, you might change "Strange problem in foo" to "bar error in foo because baz."
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Before You Ask\\n1-1. Verify your question hasn't already been asked or answered.\\nThis can usually be accomplished with a simple online search of the problem you are having. If your question is a duplicate or has already been answered, it may be closed by moderators. Some ways of refining your search are as follows:\\nTo search a tag and a topic, type: [tag] topic\\nTo search a specific phrase, surround it with quotes: \\\"phrase\\\"\\nTo exclude a tag, phrase, or topic, preface these with a minus (-) signFor tags: [tagA] -[tagB] (searches tagA while limiting tagB)For phrases: topic -\\\"phrase\\\" (searches the topic while limiting a specific phrase)For topics: topicA -topicB (searches topicA while limiting topicB)\\n1-2. Consider your question carefully.\\nA clear and concise question will help users grasp your problem and answer it more quickly. Be as specific as possible, as this will help users better understand what your problem is and how to advise you.\\nYou can clarify your thoughts by jotting down a short draft before posting.\\n1-3. Choose a clear and descriptive title.\\nYour title will serve to draw attention to your question, and a clear title that summarizes your problem generally will help other users know whether they are suited to offer you help.\\nA general title like, \\\"Error in Code\\\" is incredibly vague. Something like \\\"foo exception in bar due to baz\\\" allows users to understand your problem before even reading the details.\\nIf you are struggling with creating a good title for your problem, you may want to save writing the title for last.\\n1-4. Expand from your title.\\nYour question should start with a brief summary of your problem that expands upon your title/topic. Try to explain the way in which you came upon the problem and any limitations that have made it difficult for you to solve on your own.\\n1-5. Include minimal but sufficient information.\\nIncluding too much information can get you into trouble or make it difficult for other users to parse where exactly your problem is. This goes especially for code; copying your entire program into your post is rarely helpful.\\n1-6. Sign in or sign up.\\nTo post a question on Stack Overflow, you will need to log in with your Google account, Facebook profile, or your Stack Overflow account. If you need to make an account, visit stackoverflow.com and click the \\\"sign up\\\" link found on the top status bar of the page. Then, follow the prompts to create your account and select \\\"log in,\\\" which can be found next to the \\\"sign up\\\" link.\\n2. Asking Your Question\\n2-1. Click the \\\"Ask Question\\\" button.\\nNavigate to the Stack Overflow homepage in your browser at stackoverflow.com. In the upper right hand corner of the page, you should see the Ask Question button, which you should click to continue.\\n2-2. Read the disclaimer.\\nThen check the box box indicating you have read and understand the disclaimer and click \\\"Proceed.\\\" Now you're ready to ask your question!\\n2-3. Fill in the necessary information.\\nThis is where your problem description and title come in handy. Fill in the information and take a moment to double check spelling and grammar. That last thing you want is someone hassling your usage instead of answering your question. Then click on \\\"Post your question.\\\"\\n2-4. Add any relevant tags.\\nIn the tags field, when you begin typing, the Stack Overflow system will automatically suggest likely tags to help you with this process. Be sure you read the descriptions for your tags. An incorrect tag can seriously limit potential responses.\\nThree important tags to include with relation to your topic are: language, library, and API.\\n3. Following up\\n3-1. Return to your question.\\nIf you have asked a few questions on Stack Overflow, or if you've forgotten the exact title of a question you've recently asked, you can do a user search. To do this type into the search field:\\nuser:username (returns only results for the username provided)\\nuser:username topic (returns only results for the username provided with the associated topic)\\n3-2. Listen and respond to comments.\\nOften these will be constructive, and by paying attention, you can learn how to improve your Stack Overflow question asking skills for next time.\\nLeave your browser open to your post, and respond to questions by editing your post to provide more, or more precise, information.\\n3-3. Accept and implement possible solutions.\\nTo accept an answer that you consider satisfactory, you can click the green tick-mark under the score of the answer. This will indicate that the question is finished, and will give the user who answered points as a reward for contributing.\\n3-4. Adjust your title if answers clarified the problem.\\nSometimes, as the question you have posted is being answered, you may realize that a more apt title could have been used or a different description would have fit it better. In this case, edit your title so other users can find and use your Q&A more easily.\\nFor example, you might change \\\"Strange problem in foo\\\" to \\\"bar error in foo because baz.\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Stack Overflow is a Q&A website where you can ask questions on a wide range of programming topics and get feedback from other users. Stack Overflow also features a voting system that allows users to help select the best questions or answers for particular problems. But, like with any online community, knowing how to ask can help you get a meaningful answer faster than you otherwise might.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Before You Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Verify your question hasn't already been asked or answered.\", \"描述\": \"This can usually be accomplished with a simple online search of the problem you are having. If your question is a duplicate or has already been answered, it may be closed by moderators. Some ways of refining your search are as follows:\\nTo search a tag and a topic, type: [tag] topic\\nTo search a specific phrase, surround it with quotes: \\\"phrase\\\"\\nTo exclude a tag, phrase, or topic, preface these with a minus (-) signFor tags: [tagA] -[tagB] (searches tagA while limiting tagB)For phrases: topic -\\\"phrase\\\" (searches the topic while limiting a specific phrase)For topics: topicA -topicB (searches topicA while limiting topicB)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Consider your question carefully.\", \"描述\": \"A clear and concise question will help users grasp your problem and answer it more quickly. Be as specific as possible, as this will help users better understand what your problem is and how to advise you.\\nYou can clarify your thoughts by jotting down a short draft before posting.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choose a clear and descriptive title.\", \"描述\": \"Your title will serve to draw attention to your question, and a clear title that summarizes your problem generally will help other users know whether they are suited to offer you help.\\nA general title like, \\\"Error in Code\\\" is incredibly vague. Something like \\\"foo exception in bar due to baz\\\" allows users to understand your problem before even reading the details.\\nIf you are struggling with creating a good title for your problem, you may want to save writing the title for last.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Expand from your title.\", \"描述\": \"Your question should start with a brief summary of your problem that expands upon your title/topic. Try to explain the way in which you came upon the problem and any limitations that have made it difficult for you to solve on your own.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Include minimal but sufficient information.\", \"描述\": \"Including too much information can get you into trouble or make it difficult for other users to parse where exactly your problem is. This goes especially for code; copying your entire program into your post is rarely helpful.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Sign in or sign up.\", \"描述\": \"To post a question on Stack Overflow, you will need to log in with your Google account, Facebook profile, or your Stack Overflow account. If you need to make an account, visit stackoverflow.com and click the \\\"sign up\\\" link found on the top status bar of the page. Then, follow the prompts to create your account and select \\\"log in,\\\" which can be found next to the \\\"sign up\\\" link.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Your Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Click the \\\"Ask Question\\\" button.\", \"描述\": \"Navigate to the Stack Overflow homepage in your browser at stackoverflow.com. In the upper right hand corner of the page, you should see the Ask Question button, which you should click to continue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Read the disclaimer.\", \"描述\": \"Then check the box box indicating you have read and understand the disclaimer and click \\\"Proceed.\\\" Now you're ready to ask your question!\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Fill in the necessary information.\", \"描述\": \"This is where your problem description and title come in handy. Fill in the information and take a moment to double check spelling and grammar. That last thing you want is someone hassling your usage instead of answering your question. Then click on \\\"Post your question.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Add any relevant tags.\", \"描述\": \"In the tags field, when you begin typing, the Stack Overflow system will automatically suggest likely tags to help you with this process. Be sure you read the descriptions for your tags. An incorrect tag can seriously limit potential responses.\\nThree important tags to include with relation to your topic are: language, library, and API.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Following up\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Return to your question.\", \"描述\": \"If you have asked a few questions on Stack Overflow, or if you've forgotten the exact title of a question you've recently asked, you can do a user search. To do this type into the search field:\\nuser:username (returns only results for the username provided)\\nuser:username topic (returns only results for the username provided with the associated topic)\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Listen and respond to comments.\", \"描述\": \"Often these will be constructive, and by paying attention, you can learn how to improve your Stack Overflow question asking skills for next time.\\nLeave your browser open to your post, and respond to questions by editing your post to provide more, or more precise, information.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accept and implement possible solutions.\", \"描述\": \"To accept an answer that you consider satisfactory, you can click the green tick-mark under the score of the answer. This will indicate that the question is finished, and will give the user who answered points as a reward for contributing.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Adjust your title if answers clarified the problem.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes, as the question you have posted is being answered, you may realize that a more apt title could have been used or a different description would have fit it better. In this case, edit your title so other users can find and use your Q&A more easily.\\nFor example, you might change \\\"Strange problem in foo\\\" to \\\"bar error in foo because baz.\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,591 | How to Ask a Question on the Internet and Get It Answered | 1. Searching for the Answer
1-1. Perform a web search for your question.
Before you start asking others about your question, try a Google search to see what kind of results you get. You can even formulate your search in the form of a question, or you can just search for the keywords.
Searching on your own before asking is very important. If the solution to your question is easily searchable, you will receive scorn from the people that you ask the question to.
If you want to search a particular site for information, add "site:example.com" to the end of your search phrase. Google will only return results from the site you specify.
1-2. Assume that the question has been asked before.
The internet is a huge place, and chances are you're not the first person to have the problem that you're experiencing. Take some time and hunt down potential answers that already exist. This can save you a lot of time and headaches down the road.
1-3. Check for FAQs.
Many products and services have FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) lists on their web pages. These can provide quick answers for common questions about that product. Try to find the FAQ for the topic that concerns you, if one exists.
1-4. Make note of partial answers.
If you've found some resources that help but don't completely solve your problem, make note of them. You can use these when you formulate your question to show others that you have already done your own research and to help them narrow down their responses.
2. Finding the Right Place to Ask
2-1. Examine your question.
Determine what the general field of knowledge you will require to get it answered. For example, if you have a question about your computer, you will want tech experts to help. If your question is related to home improvement, you will want information from contractors.
2-2. Break down the general field into a specific niche.
Once you know the general field, look at your question and figure out what niche you fit into. In every general category, there are a variety of sub-fields. For example, if your tech question is about using Windows, you'll want to focus on Windows experts. If your question is about a specific program in Windows, such as Photoshop, you'll want to find Photoshop experts as opposed to Windows experts.
2-3. Search for forums related to the field you need.
Enter in the category you need into a Google search and add the word "forum". For example, if you need to ask Photoshop questions, search for "Photoshop forum".
Almost all forums will require you to register for a free account before you can post.
2-4. Find a chat room dedicated to your topic.
beyond forums, you may be able to find more immediate responses by joining a chat room dedicated to your topic. The most popular chat room network is Internet Relay Chat (IRC), which contains a staggering number of chat rooms for just about any topic imaginable. For more information on using and navigating IRC, see this guide.
2-5. Use popular question-asking sites.
There are several sites that allow you to post any question in the hopes that you will get it answered. These sites can be good for general questions, but you are less likely to get a quality answer from an expert in the field. Take all responses with a grain of salt. Popular sites include:
Stack Exchange
Ask.com
Quora
Answers.com
2-6. Learn the culture of the forum.
Every community on the internet has its own style and set of rules (both written and unwritten). Spend some time reading through other posts before making your own. This will help you learn the etiquette for that specific forum. Knowing how to ask your question in a way that fits in with that culture can really help you get the answers you need.
3. Formulating Your Question
3-1. Make your title a succinct version of your question.
When making a forum post for your question, try to make the title of the post as specific and clear as possible. You can use the post body to add details, but readers should be able to understand your question just from looking at the title.
For example, "Windows won't start" is not a good title. Instead, get a little more specific with your problem: "Windows 7 will not start, computer turns on fine but I receive the following error message: <insert error snippet>".
3-2. Go into detail in the body of the message.
After writing the title, explain the details in the body. List specific problems and what you have tried so far. Note any resources you have already looked at. The more specific you are, the more useful the replies to your question will be.
If you are asking technical questions, be sure to give proper information about what you are using. For example, for computer-related questions, list your operating system, system specs, and any error messages you are getting. For car questions, make sure to note the make and model, as well as what part of the car you are working on.
3-3. Write politely and clearly.
You will get far more responses if your post is written with good grammar and clear writing. Avoid overusing exclamation points, and try not to swear (even if you're really frustrated!). If the language of the board is not your first language, let the readers know and apologize for any spelling and grammar errors.
Avoid internet shorthand and slang. For example, don't replace "you" with "u", and don't type IN ALL CAPS, as this is perceived as shouting.
3-4. Ask one question at a time.
Even if you are experiencing multiple problems, limit each post to one question. This will help the responders focus on the issue and provide clear advice. If a reader sees your question, but then opens your post and sees five more questions, they will likely not respond at all.
3-5. Keep an open mind.
There's a chance that you won't like the answer you receive. There's also a chance that the answer that you don't like is the only available option. Make sure to keep an open mind about your responses, and try to avoid getting defensive.
3-6. Thank your responders.
If one of the responders has solved your question, make sure to thank them and note that the problem has been solved. This will help other people with the same problem quickly see what you had to do to fix it, and the gratitude gives the responder reason to continue answering questions for others.
3-7. Don't give up.
If you don't receive any responses, or the responses are not satisfactory, take some time to examine your question. Was it specific enough? Did you ask too many questions? Was the answer easily obtained through a web search? Is the question even answerable? Rework your question and ask it again, either in the same place or a new one.
Never believe that you are entitled to an answer. Responders volunteer their time to help out other users. No one owes you an answer, so you should avoid acting like they do.
Tips
Don't worry if your question is not answered. Just follow the same steps and use a different search engine, answering website or forum.
Warnings
Never abuse anyone who gives you a suggestion or provides constructive criticism.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Searching for the Answer\\n1-1. Perform a web search for your question.\\nBefore you start asking others about your question, try a Google search to see what kind of results you get. You can even formulate your search in the form of a question, or you can just search for the keywords.\\nSearching on your own before asking is very important. If the solution to your question is easily searchable, you will receive scorn from the people that you ask the question to.\\nIf you want to search a particular site for information, add \\\"site:example.com\\\" to the end of your search phrase. Google will only return results from the site you specify.\\n1-2. Assume that the question has been asked before.\\nThe internet is a huge place, and chances are you're not the first person to have the problem that you're experiencing. Take some time and hunt down potential answers that already exist. This can save you a lot of time and headaches down the road.\\n1-3. Check for FAQs.\\nMany products and services have FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) lists on their web pages. These can provide quick answers for common questions about that product. Try to find the FAQ for the topic that concerns you, if one exists.\\n1-4. Make note of partial answers.\\nIf you've found some resources that help but don't completely solve your problem, make note of them. You can use these when you formulate your question to show others that you have already done your own research and to help them narrow down their responses.\\n2. Finding the Right Place to Ask\\n2-1. Examine your question.\\nDetermine what the general field of knowledge you will require to get it answered. For example, if you have a question about your computer, you will want tech experts to help. If your question is related to home improvement, you will want information from contractors.\\n2-2. Break down the general field into a specific niche.\\nOnce you know the general field, look at your question and figure out what niche you fit into. In every general category, there are a variety of sub-fields. For example, if your tech question is about using Windows, you'll want to focus on Windows experts. If your question is about a specific program in Windows, such as Photoshop, you'll want to find Photoshop experts as opposed to Windows experts.\\n2-3. Search for forums related to the field you need.\\nEnter in the category you need into a Google search and add the word \\\"forum\\\". For example, if you need to ask Photoshop questions, search for \\\"Photoshop forum\\\".\\nAlmost all forums will require you to register for a free account before you can post.\\n2-4. Find a chat room dedicated to your topic.\\nbeyond forums, you may be able to find more immediate responses by joining a chat room dedicated to your topic. The most popular chat room network is Internet Relay Chat (IRC), which contains a staggering number of chat rooms for just about any topic imaginable. For more information on using and navigating IRC, see this guide.\\n2-5. Use popular question-asking sites.\\nThere are several sites that allow you to post any question in the hopes that you will get it answered. These sites can be good for general questions, but you are less likely to get a quality answer from an expert in the field. Take all responses with a grain of salt. Popular sites include:\\nStack Exchange\\nAsk.com\\nQuora\\nAnswers.com\\n2-6. Learn the culture of the forum.\\nEvery community on the internet has its own style and set of rules (both written and unwritten). Spend some time reading through other posts before making your own. This will help you learn the etiquette for that specific forum. Knowing how to ask your question in a way that fits in with that culture can really help you get the answers you need.\\n3. Formulating Your Question\\n3-1. Make your title a succinct version of your question.\\nWhen making a forum post for your question, try to make the title of the post as specific and clear as possible. You can use the post body to add details, but readers should be able to understand your question just from looking at the title.\\nFor example, \\\"Windows won't start\\\" is not a good title. Instead, get a little more specific with your problem: \\\"Windows 7 will not start, computer turns on fine but I receive the following error message: <insert error snippet>\\\".\\n3-2. Go into detail in the body of the message.\\nAfter writing the title, explain the details in the body. List specific problems and what you have tried so far. Note any resources you have already looked at. The more specific you are, the more useful the replies to your question will be.\\nIf you are asking technical questions, be sure to give proper information about what you are using. For example, for computer-related questions, list your operating system, system specs, and any error messages you are getting. For car questions, make sure to note the make and model, as well as what part of the car you are working on.\\n3-3. Write politely and clearly.\\nYou will get far more responses if your post is written with good grammar and clear writing. Avoid overusing exclamation points, and try not to swear (even if you're really frustrated!). If the language of the board is not your first language, let the readers know and apologize for any spelling and grammar errors.\\nAvoid internet shorthand and slang. For example, don't replace \\\"you\\\" with \\\"u\\\", and don't type IN ALL CAPS, as this is perceived as shouting.\\n3-4. Ask one question at a time.\\nEven if you are experiencing multiple problems, limit each post to one question. This will help the responders focus on the issue and provide clear advice. If a reader sees your question, but then opens your post and sees five more questions, they will likely not respond at all.\\n3-5. Keep an open mind.\\nThere's a chance that you won't like the answer you receive. There's also a chance that the answer that you don't like is the only available option. Make sure to keep an open mind about your responses, and try to avoid getting defensive.\\n3-6. Thank your responders.\\nIf one of the responders has solved your question, make sure to thank them and note that the problem has been solved. This will help other people with the same problem quickly see what you had to do to fix it, and the gratitude gives the responder reason to continue answering questions for others.\\n3-7. Don't give up.\\nIf you don't receive any responses, or the responses are not satisfactory, take some time to examine your question. Was it specific enough? Did you ask too many questions? Was the answer easily obtained through a web search? Is the question even answerable? Rework your question and ask it again, either in the same place or a new one.\\nNever believe that you are entitled to an answer. Responders volunteer their time to help out other users. No one owes you an answer, so you should avoid acting like they do.\\nTips\\nDon't worry if your question is not answered. Just follow the same steps and use a different search engine, answering website or forum.\\nWarnings\\nNever abuse anyone who gives you a suggestion or provides constructive criticism.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you tried asking a question online, only to be scorned and scoffed at, or completely ignored? Asking questions from anonymous community members is much more of an art form people realize. You can't just ask your question and expect to get it answered; you have to put a little work in on your part. See Step 1 below to start learning how to ask questions in a way that will get you the answers you need.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Searching for the Answer\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Perform a web search for your question.\", \"描述\": \"Before you start asking others about your question, try a Google search to see what kind of results you get. You can even formulate your search in the form of a question, or you can just search for the keywords.\\nSearching on your own before asking is very important. If the solution to your question is easily searchable, you will receive scorn from the people that you ask the question to.\\nIf you want to search a particular site for information, add \\\"site:example.com\\\" to the end of your search phrase. Google will only return results from the site you specify.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Assume that the question has been asked before.\", \"描述\": \"The internet is a huge place, and chances are you're not the first person to have the problem that you're experiencing. Take some time and hunt down potential answers that already exist. This can save you a lot of time and headaches down the road.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Check for FAQs.\", \"描述\": \"Many products and services have FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) lists on their web pages. These can provide quick answers for common questions about that product. Try to find the FAQ for the topic that concerns you, if one exists.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make note of partial answers.\", \"描述\": \"If you've found some resources that help but don't completely solve your problem, make note of them. You can use these when you formulate your question to show others that you have already done your own research and to help them narrow down their responses.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Finding the Right Place to Ask\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Examine your question.\", \"描述\": \"Determine what the general field of knowledge you will require to get it answered. For example, if you have a question about your computer, you will want tech experts to help. If your question is related to home improvement, you will want information from contractors.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Break down the general field into a specific niche.\", \"描述\": \"Once you know the general field, look at your question and figure out what niche you fit into. In every general category, there are a variety of sub-fields. For example, if your tech question is about using Windows, you'll want to focus on Windows experts. If your question is about a specific program in Windows, such as Photoshop, you'll want to find Photoshop experts as opposed to Windows experts.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Search for forums related to the field you need.\", \"描述\": \"Enter in the category you need into a Google search and add the word \\\"forum\\\". For example, if you need to ask Photoshop questions, search for \\\"Photoshop forum\\\".\\nAlmost all forums will require you to register for a free account before you can post.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Find a chat room dedicated to your topic.\", \"描述\": \"beyond forums, you may be able to find more immediate responses by joining a chat room dedicated to your topic. The most popular chat room network is Internet Relay Chat (IRC), which contains a staggering number of chat rooms for just about any topic imaginable. For more information on using and navigating IRC, see this guide.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Use popular question-asking sites.\", \"描述\": \"There are several sites that allow you to post any question in the hopes that you will get it answered. These sites can be good for general questions, but you are less likely to get a quality answer from an expert in the field. Take all responses with a grain of salt. Popular sites include:\\nStack Exchange\\nAsk.com\\nQuora\\nAnswers.com\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Learn the culture of the forum.\", \"描述\": \"Every community on the internet has its own style and set of rules (both written and unwritten). Spend some time reading through other posts before making your own. This will help you learn the etiquette for that specific forum. Knowing how to ask your question in a way that fits in with that culture can really help you get the answers you need.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Formulating Your Question\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make your title a succinct version of your question.\", \"描述\": \"When making a forum post for your question, try to make the title of the post as specific and clear as possible. You can use the post body to add details, but readers should be able to understand your question just from looking at the title.\\nFor example, \\\"Windows won't start\\\" is not a good title. Instead, get a little more specific with your problem: \\\"Windows 7 will not start, computer turns on fine but I receive the following error message: <insert error snippet>\\\".\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go into detail in the body of the message.\", \"描述\": \"After writing the title, explain the details in the body. List specific problems and what you have tried so far. Note any resources you have already looked at. The more specific you are, the more useful the replies to your question will be.\\nIf you are asking technical questions, be sure to give proper information about what you are using. For example, for computer-related questions, list your operating system, system specs, and any error messages you are getting. For car questions, make sure to note the make and model, as well as what part of the car you are working on.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write politely and clearly.\", \"描述\": \"You will get far more responses if your post is written with good grammar and clear writing. Avoid overusing exclamation points, and try not to swear (even if you're really frustrated!). If the language of the board is not your first language, let the readers know and apologize for any spelling and grammar errors.\\nAvoid internet shorthand and slang. For example, don't replace \\\"you\\\" with \\\"u\\\", and don't type IN ALL CAPS, as this is perceived as shouting.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask one question at a time.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you are experiencing multiple problems, limit each post to one question. This will help the responders focus on the issue and provide clear advice. If a reader sees your question, but then opens your post and sees five more questions, they will likely not respond at all.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Keep an open mind.\", \"描述\": \"There's a chance that you won't like the answer you receive. There's also a chance that the answer that you don't like is the only available option. Make sure to keep an open mind about your responses, and try to avoid getting defensive.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Thank your responders.\", \"描述\": \"If one of the responders has solved your question, make sure to thank them and note that the problem has been solved. This will help other people with the same problem quickly see what you had to do to fix it, and the gratitude gives the responder reason to continue answering questions for others.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Don't give up.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't receive any responses, or the responses are not satisfactory, take some time to examine your question. Was it specific enough? Did you ask too many questions? Was the answer easily obtained through a web search? Is the question even answerable? Rework your question and ask it again, either in the same place or a new one.\\nNever believe that you are entitled to an answer. Responders volunteer their time to help out other users. No one owes you an answer, so you should avoid acting like they do.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don't worry if your question is not answered. Just follow the same steps and use a different search engine, answering website or forum.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never abuse anyone who gives you a suggestion or provides constructive criticism.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,592 | How to Ask a Shy Girl Out | 1. Getting to Know Her
1-1. Try to make her laugh.
When getting to know a shy girl, it’s important to make her feel comfortable around you. She will be more willing to open up to you if you make her feel comfortable. An easy way to do this is to make her laugh. Tell jokes and act goofy, but don’t make fun of her. Make sure your humor comes from a place of kindness and isn’t cruel to anyone.
If you’re in school together, make jokes about the class or school in general.
Friendly joking, especially if it’s complimentary, is a great way to break the ice and help someone overcome their self-consciousness.
1-2. Avoid pointing out her shyness.
Her shyness or quietness may be a predominant part of her personality, but it is best not to point it out to her; she is likely very aware of it. Poking fun at her shyness or asking her why she doesn’t talk more could make her become even quieter. Instead, encourage her to talk about herself.
1-3. Ask her questions about herself.
Conversation may be difficult for her at first, so try to initiate a conversation by asking her questions about herself. Choose questions that she can easily answer as these might encourage her to open up to you. Ask her about her interests, dreams for the future, her childhood, and what her family is like. Try to ask follow-up questions to show that you are really interested.
For example, if she says that she would like to be an engineer one day, ask her exactly what type of engineering she’d like to go into.
If she tells you something interesting about herself, respond in a sincere, complimentary way. For example, if she tells you she wants to be an engineer, say, “Wow, that’s so awesome!”
Don’t push her if she doesn’t seem to be comfortable with a question.
1-4. Chat with her regularly.
Once she begins to open up to you, try to have regular conversations with her. This way, you can form a friendship with her. You can talk about simple things, like homework or how her day was. While she is talking, be a great listener and be supportive of the things she tells you.
Don't interrupt her. Let her say what she wishes to say at her pace.
Talk only a little about yourself. She can find out more later, and a little mystery is a great thing.
1-5. Make an effort to spend extra time with her.
Along with having regular conversations, spend time with her as much as she feels comfortable with. You can be study buddies, and pick each other's brains for ideas and solutions to schoolwork or college assignments. Or, you can attend a performance, games of hers, or whatever activity she enjoys to show your support.
Sit with her in the cafeteria at lunch and simply chat about everyday life.
Compliment her on her reading choices and talk about books together.
1-6. Get to know her friends.
They will be a useful source of support and information as you get to know each other better. They can also serve as a source of reassurance to her, helping her to realize that you mean well and are worth letting down her barriers for. You should, however, show that you are genuinely interested in her friends instead of acting like you just want to impress the girl you’re interested in.
Ask if you can join her when she is hanging out with her friends. Don’t push it if she says no.
She might think you like one of her friends if you put too much emphasis on spending time with them. Try to spend time with them only when she is around—at least at first. Say positive things about her to her friends.
2. Asking Her Out
2-1. Wait until she is alone.
Asking her out while she is in a group or around people in general may embarrass her. Instead, wait until you have the opportunity to spend some time alone together. It should be your goal to make her feel as comfortable as possible when you ask her out.
2-2. Approach her in a casual manner.
At this point, you should have built up some kind of relationship with her. Act like you usually do around her. Acting too nervous or overbearing could make her feel uncomfortable. Approach at a time when you normally see her. If you want to make the moment special, you could ask her to go for a walk in the park first
2-3. Start with a compliment.
This is an easy way to give her an idea that you like her and think highly of her. You can compliment her looks by saying “You look beautiful today.” Or, you can compliment aspects of her personality. For example, you could say “I think you are incredibly smart and kind.”
Don’t overdo the compliments. One or two nice compliments to begin with is enough.
2-4. Ask her to go a date with you.
You can ask her as casually or as formally as you’d like. If you want to be casual, say something like "Hey we can grab dinner later if you aren’t busy.” If you want to make sure your intentions are clear you can say, “I’m really starting to like you, and I would like to take you out on a date if that’s okay with you.”
2-5. Give a positive reaction to her answer.
If she says no, simply back down and say maybe another time. If she says yes, act pleased and make plans. Either way, you should react in a way that makes her feel comfortable.
Don’t be angry with her if she says she’s not interested.
3. Taking Her on a Date
3-1. Take her somewhere quiet.
Taking her to a party is probably not the best date idea for a shy girl. Instead, take her somewhere quiet where she can open up to you. For example, take her for a walk in the park or to a picnic in the park. If you aren’t sure what she’d want to do, you can ask her if there’s somewhere she has been wanting to go.
3-2. Go out for ice cream or a movie.
If the park is a little too quiet for her, you can suggest going out for ice cream. It’s stress-free and there are some people around. A movie is another low-key date idea because it’s something you can do together without feeling the pressure to talk.
If she doesn’t like ice cream, suggest going out for lunch or dinner.
3-3. Take things slowly.
Even if the date goes very well, do not move very fast with a shy girl. Moving too fast could be overwhelming for her. For example, don’t go in for a kiss without asking permission. If you feel like she’s having a good time with you, ask if she’d be okay with holding your hand. You can move on from there if she seems okay with holding your hand.
3-4. Ask her to be your girlfriend.
Depending on how the date or dates go, you may want to ask her to be your girlfriend. First, try to get an idea of how she feels about you. You can ask if she enjoys spending time with you. Or, if she has opened up to you a lot, ask her if she likes you in the same way that you like her. If she does, ask if she would like to be your girlfriend.
For example, you could say “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. I’ve come to like you a lot, and I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend?”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting to Know Her\\n1-1. Try to make her laugh.\\nWhen getting to know a shy girl, it’s important to make her feel comfortable around you. She will be more willing to open up to you if you make her feel comfortable. An easy way to do this is to make her laugh. Tell jokes and act goofy, but don’t make fun of her. Make sure your humor comes from a place of kindness and isn’t cruel to anyone.\\nIf you’re in school together, make jokes about the class or school in general.\\nFriendly joking, especially if it’s complimentary, is a great way to break the ice and help someone overcome their self-consciousness.\\n1-2. Avoid pointing out her shyness.\\nHer shyness or quietness may be a predominant part of her personality, but it is best not to point it out to her; she is likely very aware of it. Poking fun at her shyness or asking her why she doesn’t talk more could make her become even quieter. Instead, encourage her to talk about herself.\\n1-3. Ask her questions about herself.\\nConversation may be difficult for her at first, so try to initiate a conversation by asking her questions about herself. Choose questions that she can easily answer as these might encourage her to open up to you. Ask her about her interests, dreams for the future, her childhood, and what her family is like. Try to ask follow-up questions to show that you are really interested.\\nFor example, if she says that she would like to be an engineer one day, ask her exactly what type of engineering she’d like to go into.\\nIf she tells you something interesting about herself, respond in a sincere, complimentary way. For example, if she tells you she wants to be an engineer, say, “Wow, that’s so awesome!”\\nDon’t push her if she doesn’t seem to be comfortable with a question.\\n1-4. Chat with her regularly.\\nOnce she begins to open up to you, try to have regular conversations with her. This way, you can form a friendship with her. You can talk about simple things, like homework or how her day was. While she is talking, be a great listener and be supportive of the things she tells you.\\nDon't interrupt her. Let her say what she wishes to say at her pace.\\nTalk only a little about yourself. She can find out more later, and a little mystery is a great thing.\\n1-5. Make an effort to spend extra time with her.\\nAlong with having regular conversations, spend time with her as much as she feels comfortable with. You can be study buddies, and pick each other's brains for ideas and solutions to schoolwork or college assignments. Or, you can attend a performance, games of hers, or whatever activity she enjoys to show your support.\\nSit with her in the cafeteria at lunch and simply chat about everyday life.\\nCompliment her on her reading choices and talk about books together.\\n1-6. Get to know her friends.\\nThey will be a useful source of support and information as you get to know each other better. They can also serve as a source of reassurance to her, helping her to realize that you mean well and are worth letting down her barriers for. You should, however, show that you are genuinely interested in her friends instead of acting like you just want to impress the girl you’re interested in.\\nAsk if you can join her when she is hanging out with her friends. Don’t push it if she says no.\\nShe might think you like one of her friends if you put too much emphasis on spending time with them. Try to spend time with them only when she is around—at least at first. Say positive things about her to her friends.\\n2. Asking Her Out\\n2-1. Wait until she is alone.\\nAsking her out while she is in a group or around people in general may embarrass her. Instead, wait until you have the opportunity to spend some time alone together. It should be your goal to make her feel as comfortable as possible when you ask her out.\\n2-2. Approach her in a casual manner.\\nAt this point, you should have built up some kind of relationship with her. Act like you usually do around her. Acting too nervous or overbearing could make her feel uncomfortable. Approach at a time when you normally see her. If you want to make the moment special, you could ask her to go for a walk in the park first\\n2-3. Start with a compliment.\\nThis is an easy way to give her an idea that you like her and think highly of her. You can compliment her looks by saying “You look beautiful today.” Or, you can compliment aspects of her personality. For example, you could say “I think you are incredibly smart and kind.”\\nDon’t overdo the compliments. One or two nice compliments to begin with is enough.\\n2-4. Ask her to go a date with you.\\nYou can ask her as casually or as formally as you’d like. If you want to be casual, say something like \\\"Hey we can grab dinner later if you aren’t busy.” If you want to make sure your intentions are clear you can say, “I’m really starting to like you, and I would like to take you out on a date if that’s okay with you.”\\n2-5. Give a positive reaction to her answer.\\nIf she says no, simply back down and say maybe another time. If she says yes, act pleased and make plans. Either way, you should react in a way that makes her feel comfortable.\\nDon’t be angry with her if she says she’s not interested.\\n3. Taking Her on a Date\\n3-1. Take her somewhere quiet.\\nTaking her to a party is probably not the best date idea for a shy girl. Instead, take her somewhere quiet where she can open up to you. For example, take her for a walk in the park or to a picnic in the park. If you aren’t sure what she’d want to do, you can ask her if there’s somewhere she has been wanting to go.\\n3-2. Go out for ice cream or a movie.\\nIf the park is a little too quiet for her, you can suggest going out for ice cream. It’s stress-free and there are some people around. A movie is another low-key date idea because it’s something you can do together without feeling the pressure to talk.\\nIf she doesn’t like ice cream, suggest going out for lunch or dinner.\\n3-3. Take things slowly.\\nEven if the date goes very well, do not move very fast with a shy girl. Moving too fast could be overwhelming for her. For example, don’t go in for a kiss without asking permission. If you feel like she’s having a good time with you, ask if she’d be okay with holding your hand. You can move on from there if she seems okay with holding your hand.\\n3-4. Ask her to be your girlfriend.\\nDepending on how the date or dates go, you may want to ask her to be your girlfriend. First, try to get an idea of how she feels about you. You can ask if she enjoys spending time with you. Or, if she has opened up to you a lot, ask her if she likes you in the same way that you like her. If she does, ask if she would like to be your girlfriend.\\nFor example, you could say “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. I’ve come to like you a lot, and I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend?”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You may have found a girl you’d really like to ask out, but you’re not sure how to go about it due to her shyness. In most cases, shyness doesn’t mean that she’s rude or uninteresting. It is simply a personality trait. Don’t be afraid to talk to her! First, try getting to know her. Then, work up the courage to ask her out. If she says yes, plan a date that you can both enjoy.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting to Know Her\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try to make her laugh.\", \"描述\": \"When getting to know a shy girl, it’s important to make her feel comfortable around you. She will be more willing to open up to you if you make her feel comfortable. An easy way to do this is to make her laugh. Tell jokes and act goofy, but don’t make fun of her. Make sure your humor comes from a place of kindness and isn’t cruel to anyone.\\nIf you’re in school together, make jokes about the class or school in general.\\nFriendly joking, especially if it’s complimentary, is a great way to break the ice and help someone overcome their self-consciousness.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid pointing out her shyness.\", \"描述\": \"Her shyness or quietness may be a predominant part of her personality, but it is best not to point it out to her; she is likely very aware of it. Poking fun at her shyness or asking her why she doesn’t talk more could make her become even quieter. Instead, encourage her to talk about herself.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask her questions about herself.\", \"描述\": \"Conversation may be difficult for her at first, so try to initiate a conversation by asking her questions about herself. Choose questions that she can easily answer as these might encourage her to open up to you. Ask her about her interests, dreams for the future, her childhood, and what her family is like. Try to ask follow-up questions to show that you are really interested.\\nFor example, if she says that she would like to be an engineer one day, ask her exactly what type of engineering she’d like to go into.\\nIf she tells you something interesting about herself, respond in a sincere, complimentary way. For example, if she tells you she wants to be an engineer, say, “Wow, that’s so awesome!”\\nDon’t push her if she doesn’t seem to be comfortable with a question.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Chat with her regularly.\", \"描述\": \"Once she begins to open up to you, try to have regular conversations with her. This way, you can form a friendship with her. You can talk about simple things, like homework or how her day was. While she is talking, be a great listener and be supportive of the things she tells you.\\nDon't interrupt her. Let her say what she wishes to say at her pace.\\nTalk only a little about yourself. She can find out more later, and a little mystery is a great thing.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make an effort to spend extra time with her.\", \"描述\": \"Along with having regular conversations, spend time with her as much as she feels comfortable with. You can be study buddies, and pick each other's brains for ideas and solutions to schoolwork or college assignments. Or, you can attend a performance, games of hers, or whatever activity she enjoys to show your support.\\nSit with her in the cafeteria at lunch and simply chat about everyday life.\\nCompliment her on her reading choices and talk about books together.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Get to know her friends.\", \"描述\": \"They will be a useful source of support and information as you get to know each other better. They can also serve as a source of reassurance to her, helping her to realize that you mean well and are worth letting down her barriers for. You should, however, show that you are genuinely interested in her friends instead of acting like you just want to impress the girl you’re interested in.\\nAsk if you can join her when she is hanging out with her friends. Don’t push it if she says no.\\nShe might think you like one of her friends if you put too much emphasis on spending time with them. Try to spend time with them only when she is around—at least at first. Say positive things about her to her friends.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Her Out\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Wait until she is alone.\", \"描述\": \"Asking her out while she is in a group or around people in general may embarrass her. Instead, wait until you have the opportunity to spend some time alone together. It should be your goal to make her feel as comfortable as possible when you ask her out.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Approach her in a casual manner.\", \"描述\": \"At this point, you should have built up some kind of relationship with her. Act like you usually do around her. Acting too nervous or overbearing could make her feel uncomfortable. Approach at a time when you normally see her. If you want to make the moment special, you could ask her to go for a walk in the park first\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Start with a compliment.\", \"描述\": \"This is an easy way to give her an idea that you like her and think highly of her. You can compliment her looks by saying “You look beautiful today.” Or, you can compliment aspects of her personality. For example, you could say “I think you are incredibly smart and kind.”\\nDon’t overdo the compliments. One or two nice compliments to begin with is enough.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her to go a date with you.\", \"描述\": \"You can ask her as casually or as formally as you’d like. If you want to be casual, say something like \\\"Hey we can grab dinner later if you aren’t busy.” If you want to make sure your intentions are clear you can say, “I’m really starting to like you, and I would like to take you out on a date if that’s okay with you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Give a positive reaction to her answer.\", \"描述\": \"If she says no, simply back down and say maybe another time. If she says yes, act pleased and make plans. Either way, you should react in a way that makes her feel comfortable.\\nDon’t be angry with her if she says she’s not interested.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Taking Her on a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take her somewhere quiet.\", \"描述\": \"Taking her to a party is probably not the best date idea for a shy girl. Instead, take her somewhere quiet where she can open up to you. For example, take her for a walk in the park or to a picnic in the park. If you aren’t sure what she’d want to do, you can ask her if there’s somewhere she has been wanting to go.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Go out for ice cream or a movie.\", \"描述\": \"If the park is a little too quiet for her, you can suggest going out for ice cream. It’s stress-free and there are some people around. A movie is another low-key date idea because it’s something you can do together without feeling the pressure to talk.\\nIf she doesn’t like ice cream, suggest going out for lunch or dinner.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Take things slowly.\", \"描述\": \"Even if the date goes very well, do not move very fast with a shy girl. Moving too fast could be overwhelming for her. For example, don’t go in for a kiss without asking permission. If you feel like she’s having a good time with you, ask if she’d be okay with holding your hand. You can move on from there if she seems okay with holding your hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask her to be your girlfriend.\", \"描述\": \"Depending on how the date or dates go, you may want to ask her to be your girlfriend. First, try to get an idea of how she feels about you. You can ask if she enjoys spending time with you. Or, if she has opened up to you a lot, ask her if she likes you in the same way that you like her. If she does, ask if she would like to be your girlfriend.\\nFor example, you could say “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. I’ve come to like you a lot, and I was wondering if you would like to be my girlfriend?”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,593 | How to Ask a Stranger Out Online | 1. Fill out your profile with your interests and hobbies.
Represent yourself online like you would in real life.
Since the person you’re asking out knows nothing about you, add some information to your profile that explains who you are and what you do. Put up some quality photos of yourself in different scenarios so you look fun and interesting, too!
This goes for any online platform, whether it be an online dating profile or just one of your social media accounts. If your profile looks boring or doesn’t have anything on it, your potential date might not want to go out with you.
It might also help to check out the other person’s profile before sending a message. That way, you have a little info on them before you start chatting.
2. Send a friendly message to break the ice.
Start out by just saying hello for a simple, genuine approach.
You can even introduce yourself if you want, since you two are strangers. If you have mutual friends, mention that in your opening line. It’s important to establish some sort of rapport before diving into asking them on a date. Try something like:
“Hey! I’m Kevin, nice to meet you (virtually).”
“Hi Lucy! My name’s Alice. I think you know my friend James.”
“Hey, how’s it going?”
3. Get a conversation going.
Ask them how their day is or what they do for work.
You’ll have much better success if you talk to them for a few messages before jumping into a date idea. Plus, you can learn a little more about them to see if you two might be a good fit. Check out their profile to get some info, then ask them questions like:
“How long have you been rock climbing?”
“How’s your day so far?”
“What do you get up to on the weekends?”
4. Give them a compliment.
Let them know you’re a nice person and that you like them.
Throughout your conversation, feel free to throw one or two compliments in the mix. You could talk about their personality, their hobbies, or even their career path. Stay away from anything about their physical appearance, though, as that can be a little bit creepy.
For instance, you might say, “I really like chatting with you! I feel like we could talk about anything.”
Or, “It’s so awesome that you’re into snowboarding. All your videos look so professional.”
5. Ask for their number.
Take your conversation offline to ask them out.
If you’ve been having a nice chat but you aren’t quite ready to pop the question yet, see if they want to exchange digits. After that, you can text them a little more before asking if they want to go on a date with you.
Say something like, “You seem really cool. Here’s my number if you want to keep chatting.”
Or, “I really enjoy talking to you. Do you want to exchange numbers?”
6. Suggest a date activity.
Have something in mind so they’re more likely to accept.
If you’re ready to ask them out, think back on your past conversation to find an activity they might like. Then, suggest a specific day and activity for you two to do.
For instance, maybe you two talked about how much you both love coffee. In that case, say something like, “I was thinking of checking out that new coffee shop downtown this weekend. Would you like to join me?”
If you know they’re into hiking, you might ask, “I’ve never been out to the Multnomah Falls trail. Wanna show me the ropes next week?”
7. Ask them for a suggestion.
If you aren’t sure what they like to do on a date, try this.
You can ask them what restaurants they like or where they like to get a coffee. When they give you a suggestion, tell them that it sounds nice and that you two should go.
For example, you might say, “What’s your favorite place to grab a drink around here?” When they answer, say, “Wow, that sounds nice. Want to meet me there this weekend?”
Or, you might say, “If I wanted to get Italian food, where would I go?” When they suggest a restaurant, say, “That sounds amazing. We should go there tomorrow night!”
8. See if they have any plans this weekend.
Ask indirectly for a more subtle approach.
If you aren’t sure whether or not they like you or not, gauge their reaction by seeing if they have plans. If they aren’t, then you can ask if they want to hang out sometime. If they are busy, it could mean they’re not interested.
Say something like, “Do you have any plans this weekend?” If they say no, try something like, “Cool! I was thinking about seeing a movie on Saturday. Want to join?”
9. Try a flirty challenge.
Use this technique if you two have been flirting a lot.
Challenge your potential date to come up with a really awesome date idea. When they do, tell them that they win and you’d like to take them out on that date.
Say something like: “I bet you can’t come up with a better date idea than me.” When they tell you their plan, say, “Wow, I take it back—you win. Let’s do that!”
Tips
If they say no, that’s okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can always try again with someone else!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:02",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Fill out your profile with your interests and hobbies.\\nRepresent yourself online like you would in real life.\\nSince the person you’re asking out knows nothing about you, add some information to your profile that explains who you are and what you do. Put up some quality photos of yourself in different scenarios so you look fun and interesting, too!\\nThis goes for any online platform, whether it be an online dating profile or just one of your social media accounts. If your profile looks boring or doesn’t have anything on it, your potential date might not want to go out with you.\\nIt might also help to check out the other person’s profile before sending a message. That way, you have a little info on them before you start chatting.\\n2. Send a friendly message to break the ice.\\nStart out by just saying hello for a simple, genuine approach.\\nYou can even introduce yourself if you want, since you two are strangers. If you have mutual friends, mention that in your opening line. It’s important to establish some sort of rapport before diving into asking them on a date. Try something like:\\n“Hey! I’m Kevin, nice to meet you (virtually).”\\n“Hi Lucy! My name’s Alice. I think you know my friend James.”\\n“Hey, how’s it going?”\\n3. Get a conversation going.\\nAsk them how their day is or what they do for work.\\nYou’ll have much better success if you talk to them for a few messages before jumping into a date idea. Plus, you can learn a little more about them to see if you two might be a good fit. Check out their profile to get some info, then ask them questions like:\\n“How long have you been rock climbing?”\\n“How’s your day so far?”\\n“What do you get up to on the weekends?”\\n4. Give them a compliment.\\nLet them know you’re a nice person and that you like them.\\nThroughout your conversation, feel free to throw one or two compliments in the mix. You could talk about their personality, their hobbies, or even their career path. Stay away from anything about their physical appearance, though, as that can be a little bit creepy.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I really like chatting with you! I feel like we could talk about anything.”\\nOr, “It’s so awesome that you’re into snowboarding. All your videos look so professional.”\\n5. Ask for their number.\\nTake your conversation offline to ask them out.\\nIf you’ve been having a nice chat but you aren’t quite ready to pop the question yet, see if they want to exchange digits. After that, you can text them a little more before asking if they want to go on a date with you.\\nSay something like, “You seem really cool. Here’s my number if you want to keep chatting.”\\nOr, “I really enjoy talking to you. Do you want to exchange numbers?”\\n6. Suggest a date activity.\\nHave something in mind so they’re more likely to accept.\\nIf you’re ready to ask them out, think back on your past conversation to find an activity they might like. Then, suggest a specific day and activity for you two to do.\\nFor instance, maybe you two talked about how much you both love coffee. In that case, say something like, “I was thinking of checking out that new coffee shop downtown this weekend. Would you like to join me?”\\nIf you know they’re into hiking, you might ask, “I’ve never been out to the Multnomah Falls trail. Wanna show me the ropes next week?”\\n7. Ask them for a suggestion.\\nIf you aren’t sure what they like to do on a date, try this.\\nYou can ask them what restaurants they like or where they like to get a coffee. When they give you a suggestion, tell them that it sounds nice and that you two should go.\\nFor example, you might say, “What’s your favorite place to grab a drink around here?” When they answer, say, “Wow, that sounds nice. Want to meet me there this weekend?”\\nOr, you might say, “If I wanted to get Italian food, where would I go?” When they suggest a restaurant, say, “That sounds amazing. We should go there tomorrow night!”\\n8. See if they have any plans this weekend.\\nAsk indirectly for a more subtle approach.\\nIf you aren’t sure whether or not they like you or not, gauge their reaction by seeing if they have plans. If they aren’t, then you can ask if they want to hang out sometime. If they are busy, it could mean they’re not interested.\\nSay something like, “Do you have any plans this weekend?” If they say no, try something like, “Cool! I was thinking about seeing a movie on Saturday. Want to join?”\\n9. Try a flirty challenge.\\nUse this technique if you two have been flirting a lot.\\nChallenge your potential date to come up with a really awesome date idea. When they do, tell them that they win and you’d like to take them out on that date.\\nSay something like: “I bet you can’t come up with a better date idea than me.” When they tell you their plan, say, “Wow, I take it back—you win. Let’s do that!”\\nTips\\nIf they say no, that’s okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can always try again with someone else!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"In the age of the internet, it’s easier than ever to connect to people we don’t know. When you spot a cute stranger online, asking them out is a little different than asking someone out IRL. We’ve compiled some tips to help you (hopefully) get a date with the person of your dreams.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Fill out your profile with your interests and hobbies.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Represent yourself online like you would in real life.\", \"描述\": \"Since the person you’re asking out knows nothing about you, add some information to your profile that explains who you are and what you do. Put up some quality photos of yourself in different scenarios so you look fun and interesting, too!\\nThis goes for any online platform, whether it be an online dating profile or just one of your social media accounts. If your profile looks boring or doesn’t have anything on it, your potential date might not want to go out with you.\\nIt might also help to check out the other person’s profile before sending a message. That way, you have a little info on them before you start chatting.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Send a friendly message to break the ice.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start out by just saying hello for a simple, genuine approach.\", \"描述\": \"You can even introduce yourself if you want, since you two are strangers. If you have mutual friends, mention that in your opening line. It’s important to establish some sort of rapport before diving into asking them on a date. Try something like:\\n“Hey! I’m Kevin, nice to meet you (virtually).”\\n“Hi Lucy! My name’s Alice. I think you know my friend James.”\\n“Hey, how’s it going?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get a conversation going.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask them how their day is or what they do for work.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll have much better success if you talk to them for a few messages before jumping into a date idea. Plus, you can learn a little more about them to see if you two might be a good fit. Check out their profile to get some info, then ask them questions like:\\n“How long have you been rock climbing?”\\n“How’s your day so far?”\\n“What do you get up to on the weekends?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Give them a compliment.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let them know you’re a nice person and that you like them.\", \"描述\": \"Throughout your conversation, feel free to throw one or two compliments in the mix. You could talk about their personality, their hobbies, or even their career path. Stay away from anything about their physical appearance, though, as that can be a little bit creepy.\\nFor instance, you might say, “I really like chatting with you! I feel like we could talk about anything.”\\nOr, “It’s so awesome that you’re into snowboarding. All your videos look so professional.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask for their number.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take your conversation offline to ask them out.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve been having a nice chat but you aren’t quite ready to pop the question yet, see if they want to exchange digits. After that, you can text them a little more before asking if they want to go on a date with you.\\nSay something like, “You seem really cool. Here’s my number if you want to keep chatting.”\\nOr, “I really enjoy talking to you. Do you want to exchange numbers?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Suggest a date activity.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Have something in mind so they’re more likely to accept.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re ready to ask them out, think back on your past conversation to find an activity they might like. Then, suggest a specific day and activity for you two to do.\\nFor instance, maybe you two talked about how much you both love coffee. In that case, say something like, “I was thinking of checking out that new coffee shop downtown this weekend. Would you like to join me?”\\nIf you know they’re into hiking, you might ask, “I’ve never been out to the Multnomah Falls trail. Wanna show me the ropes next week?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Ask them for a suggestion.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If you aren’t sure what they like to do on a date, try this.\", \"描述\": \"You can ask them what restaurants they like or where they like to get a coffee. When they give you a suggestion, tell them that it sounds nice and that you two should go.\\nFor example, you might say, “What’s your favorite place to grab a drink around here?” When they answer, say, “Wow, that sounds nice. Want to meet me there this weekend?”\\nOr, you might say, “If I wanted to get Italian food, where would I go?” When they suggest a restaurant, say, “That sounds amazing. We should go there tomorrow night!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"See if they have any plans this weekend.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask indirectly for a more subtle approach.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t sure whether or not they like you or not, gauge their reaction by seeing if they have plans. If they aren’t, then you can ask if they want to hang out sometime. If they are busy, it could mean they’re not interested.\\nSay something like, “Do you have any plans this weekend?” If they say no, try something like, “Cool! I was thinking about seeing a movie on Saturday. Want to join?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Try a flirty challenge.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Use this technique if you two have been flirting a lot.\", \"描述\": \"Challenge your potential date to come up with a really awesome date idea. When they do, tell them that they win and you’d like to take them out on that date.\\nSay something like: “I bet you can’t come up with a better date idea than me.” When they tell you their plan, say, “Wow, I take it back—you win. Let’s do that!”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If they say no, that’s okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can always try again with someone else!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,594 | How to Ask a Tarot Question | 1. Finding Open-Ended Questions
1-1. Start questions with how, what, where or why.
Questions that start with how, what, where or why are open-ended, so they allow for deeper answers to some of life’s most trying concerns. Start questions with how, what, where or why for tarot answers that help you explore what you can do to change a situation. Open-ended questions include:
"How can I free myself from financial struggles?"
"What areas do I need to work on to bring more love into my life?"
"Where are there opportunities to help further my career?"
1-2. Avoid will, when or should questions.
"Should" questions rarely allow tarot cards to help you, because they take away your power to make your own decisions. Similarly, "when" and "will" questions do the same. Avoid will, when or should questions and don’t expect the cards to tell you answers to them, because life is not that straightforward.
Remember the reason you’re asking help from tarot cards is because there’s no easy solution to your question or concern.
1-3. Ask about your general life direction.
Sometimes you may not have a question about a specific concern. That’s okay. Ask a question about your general life direction like, “Where am I headed on my current path?” or “What energies are surrounding my life right now?” Tarot cards are meant to give insight into your life and general questions can accomplish this.
1-4. Phrase questions for guidance.
The best tarot questions are phrased in a way to help you get guidance or direction on a concern. Don't expect the cards to tell you what to do in order to take responsibility off yourself. Consider the following examples:
Don't ask "Should I travel through Europe for three months?" This question shifts responsibility for a life decision off yourself and onto the cards.
Ask "How will it affect my loved ones if I decide to travel through Europe for three months?" This question allows the cards to give you guidance without shifting responsibility.
2. Getting to the Root of an Issue
2-1. Take everyone involved into account.
If there are people involved in the situation or concern you have, consider how everyone is affected--both directly and indirectly. Though tarot questions should be about yourself, be considerate of how your decisions affect others.
Let's say you're thinking about a career change. Ask yourself how a change in employment might affect people like a roommate or family members.
Don't forget about your pets! If you're trying to decide on travel plans, be mindful about how they'll handle your absence.
2-2. Find a question about benefits or drawbacks.
You may need help making an important decision and asking more about potential benefits and drawbacks can help. Just like a list you might make to help with important decisions, look for questions about pros and cons.
Maybe you’re struggling to know whether you should send an aging parent to an assisted living home or not. Ask “What are the benefits of leaving my Mother at home?” or “What are the drawbacks to leaving my Mother at home?”
Maybe you want to know whether a difficult relationship should end. Ask "What am I getting out of staying in this relationship?" or "How is this relationship hurting me?"
2-3. Find a situation you’d like to improve.
We all have areas we’d like to improve on and if you’re honest, you should come up with at least one or two. Look for ways you can improve yourself and the people around you.
Concerning your body image, ask “How can I feel better about how I look?” or “What can I do to get in better shape?”
Concerning your family life, ask "How can I spend more time with my loved ones?" or "What can I do to feel closer to my siblings?"
2-4. Be concise about what you ask.
You may be dealing with what seems like a large problem, but it can always be broken down. Though general questions are great if you don't have a concrete concern, breaking larger issues down can help you get to the root cause. For example:
Instead of asking “How can I free myself from money struggles?”, ask “Where can additional income come from?” or “How can I save more on a daily basis?”
Instead of asking "How can I make my relationship better?", ask "Why does my spouse get upset with me, when I do x,y, or z?"
2-5. Frame your questions positively.
It’s easy to get trapped into negative thinking when something isn’t going as planned. Even if you have concerns as to why things are happening or not happening, keep the question positive. Frame questions so that they're free of negative connotations.
Ask “What can I do to be a better public speaker?” instead of “Why can’t I overcome my fear of public speaking?”
Ask "How can I be more sociable?" instead of "Why can't I make more friends?"
3. Choosing Follow-Up Questions
3-1. Speak up if you don’t understand something.
Whether you’re going to a professional card reader or exploring a deck of tarot cards on your own, inquire about what you don’t understand. You may draw what looks like a negative card and need more direction. Explore what confusing cards might mean.
You may draw the hanged man when you want to know how you can help a situation. On the surface, this looks like powerlessness, but it can be about acceptance.
You could draw the hermit when you ask about how you can bring more excitement into your love life. Instead of saying you’re destined to be alone, it could be saying you need to reflect inwards before you can find a fulfilling love life.
3-2. Notice your reaction to cards.
The way you respond to cards as they’re laid can give you valuable insight into how you’re dealing with certain situations. Pay attention to your reaction to different cards. Don’t overthink it and write down how you feel about them.
3-3. Remember things you might want more direction on.
A tarot card reading is no different than a lecture you might have additional questions about afterwards. As you go through a spread of cards, remember the points you could use more direction on.
If a card indicates you need to embrace your feminine side, remember that and ask “How can I better embrace my femininity?”
If a card says your expectations are too high, like the four of cups, remember that and ask "How can I be more realistic?"
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Finding Open-Ended Questions\\n1-1. Start questions with how, what, where or why.\\nQuestions that start with how, what, where or why are open-ended, so they allow for deeper answers to some of life’s most trying concerns. Start questions with how, what, where or why for tarot answers that help you explore what you can do to change a situation. Open-ended questions include:\\n\\\"How can I free myself from financial struggles?\\\"\\n\\\"What areas do I need to work on to bring more love into my life?\\\"\\n\\\"Where are there opportunities to help further my career?\\\"\\n1-2. Avoid will, when or should questions.\\n\\\"Should\\\" questions rarely allow tarot cards to help you, because they take away your power to make your own decisions. Similarly, \\\"when\\\" and \\\"will\\\" questions do the same. Avoid will, when or should questions and don’t expect the cards to tell you answers to them, because life is not that straightforward.\\nRemember the reason you’re asking help from tarot cards is because there’s no easy solution to your question or concern.\\n1-3. Ask about your general life direction.\\nSometimes you may not have a question about a specific concern. That’s okay. Ask a question about your general life direction like, “Where am I headed on my current path?” or “What energies are surrounding my life right now?” Tarot cards are meant to give insight into your life and general questions can accomplish this.\\n1-4. Phrase questions for guidance.\\nThe best tarot questions are phrased in a way to help you get guidance or direction on a concern. Don't expect the cards to tell you what to do in order to take responsibility off yourself. Consider the following examples:\\nDon't ask \\\"Should I travel through Europe for three months?\\\" This question shifts responsibility for a life decision off yourself and onto the cards.\\nAsk \\\"How will it affect my loved ones if I decide to travel through Europe for three months?\\\" This question allows the cards to give you guidance without shifting responsibility.\\n2. Getting to the Root of an Issue\\n2-1. Take everyone involved into account.\\nIf there are people involved in the situation or concern you have, consider how everyone is affected--both directly and indirectly. Though tarot questions should be about yourself, be considerate of how your decisions affect others.\\nLet's say you're thinking about a career change. Ask yourself how a change in employment might affect people like a roommate or family members.\\nDon't forget about your pets! If you're trying to decide on travel plans, be mindful about how they'll handle your absence.\\n2-2. Find a question about benefits or drawbacks.\\nYou may need help making an important decision and asking more about potential benefits and drawbacks can help. Just like a list you might make to help with important decisions, look for questions about pros and cons.\\nMaybe you’re struggling to know whether you should send an aging parent to an assisted living home or not. Ask “What are the benefits of leaving my Mother at home?” or “What are the drawbacks to leaving my Mother at home?”\\nMaybe you want to know whether a difficult relationship should end. Ask \\\"What am I getting out of staying in this relationship?\\\" or \\\"How is this relationship hurting me?\\\"\\n2-3. Find a situation you’d like to improve.\\nWe all have areas we’d like to improve on and if you’re honest, you should come up with at least one or two. Look for ways you can improve yourself and the people around you.\\nConcerning your body image, ask “How can I feel better about how I look?” or “What can I do to get in better shape?”\\nConcerning your family life, ask \\\"How can I spend more time with my loved ones?\\\" or \\\"What can I do to feel closer to my siblings?\\\"\\n2-4. Be concise about what you ask.\\nYou may be dealing with what seems like a large problem, but it can always be broken down. Though general questions are great if you don't have a concrete concern, breaking larger issues down can help you get to the root cause. For example:\\nInstead of asking “How can I free myself from money struggles?”, ask “Where can additional income come from?” or “How can I save more on a daily basis?”\\nInstead of asking \\\"How can I make my relationship better?\\\", ask \\\"Why does my spouse get upset with me, when I do x,y, or z?\\\"\\n2-5. Frame your questions positively.\\nIt’s easy to get trapped into negative thinking when something isn’t going as planned. Even if you have concerns as to why things are happening or not happening, keep the question positive. Frame questions so that they're free of negative connotations.\\nAsk “What can I do to be a better public speaker?” instead of “Why can’t I overcome my fear of public speaking?”\\nAsk \\\"How can I be more sociable?\\\" instead of \\\"Why can't I make more friends?\\\"\\n3. Choosing Follow-Up Questions\\n3-1. Speak up if you don’t understand something.\\nWhether you’re going to a professional card reader or exploring a deck of tarot cards on your own, inquire about what you don’t understand. You may draw what looks like a negative card and need more direction. Explore what confusing cards might mean.\\nYou may draw the hanged man when you want to know how you can help a situation. On the surface, this looks like powerlessness, but it can be about acceptance.\\nYou could draw the hermit when you ask about how you can bring more excitement into your love life. Instead of saying you’re destined to be alone, it could be saying you need to reflect inwards before you can find a fulfilling love life.\\n3-2. Notice your reaction to cards.\\nThe way you respond to cards as they’re laid can give you valuable insight into how you’re dealing with certain situations. Pay attention to your reaction to different cards. Don’t overthink it and write down how you feel about them.\\n3-3. Remember things you might want more direction on.\\nA tarot card reading is no different than a lecture you might have additional questions about afterwards. As you go through a spread of cards, remember the points you could use more direction on.\\nIf a card indicates you need to embrace your feminine side, remember that and ask “How can I better embrace my femininity?”\\nIf a card says your expectations are too high, like the four of cups, remember that and ask \\\"How can I be more realistic?\\\"\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Tarot card questions can be tricky business. It’s not like asking questions from a magic eight ball. Tarot cards are a tool you can use for insight and perspective on some of life’s most difficult and demanding situations, from ending relationships to changing careers. They can help you find areas that need work in your love, work, and financial life. The catch is that you have to ask questions openly and honestly that get to the heart of issues.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Finding Open-Ended Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start questions with how, what, where or why.\", \"描述\": \"Questions that start with how, what, where or why are open-ended, so they allow for deeper answers to some of life’s most trying concerns. Start questions with how, what, where or why for tarot answers that help you explore what you can do to change a situation. Open-ended questions include:\\n\\\"How can I free myself from financial struggles?\\\"\\n\\\"What areas do I need to work on to bring more love into my life?\\\"\\n\\\"Where are there opportunities to help further my career?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid will, when or should questions.\", \"描述\": \"\\\"Should\\\" questions rarely allow tarot cards to help you, because they take away your power to make your own decisions. Similarly, \\\"when\\\" and \\\"will\\\" questions do the same. Avoid will, when or should questions and don’t expect the cards to tell you answers to them, because life is not that straightforward.\\nRemember the reason you’re asking help from tarot cards is because there’s no easy solution to your question or concern.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask about your general life direction.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes you may not have a question about a specific concern. That’s okay. Ask a question about your general life direction like, “Where am I headed on my current path?” or “What energies are surrounding my life right now?” Tarot cards are meant to give insight into your life and general questions can accomplish this.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Phrase questions for guidance.\", \"描述\": \"The best tarot questions are phrased in a way to help you get guidance or direction on a concern. Don't expect the cards to tell you what to do in order to take responsibility off yourself. Consider the following examples:\\nDon't ask \\\"Should I travel through Europe for three months?\\\" This question shifts responsibility for a life decision off yourself and onto the cards.\\nAsk \\\"How will it affect my loved ones if I decide to travel through Europe for three months?\\\" This question allows the cards to give you guidance without shifting responsibility.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Getting to the Root of an Issue\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take everyone involved into account.\", \"描述\": \"If there are people involved in the situation or concern you have, consider how everyone is affected--both directly and indirectly. Though tarot questions should be about yourself, be considerate of how your decisions affect others.\\nLet's say you're thinking about a career change. Ask yourself how a change in employment might affect people like a roommate or family members.\\nDon't forget about your pets! If you're trying to decide on travel plans, be mindful about how they'll handle your absence.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Find a question about benefits or drawbacks.\", \"描述\": \"You may need help making an important decision and asking more about potential benefits and drawbacks can help. Just like a list you might make to help with important decisions, look for questions about pros and cons.\\nMaybe you’re struggling to know whether you should send an aging parent to an assisted living home or not. Ask “What are the benefits of leaving my Mother at home?” or “What are the drawbacks to leaving my Mother at home?”\\nMaybe you want to know whether a difficult relationship should end. Ask \\\"What am I getting out of staying in this relationship?\\\" or \\\"How is this relationship hurting me?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Find a situation you’d like to improve.\", \"描述\": \"We all have areas we’d like to improve on and if you’re honest, you should come up with at least one or two. Look for ways you can improve yourself and the people around you.\\nConcerning your body image, ask “How can I feel better about how I look?” or “What can I do to get in better shape?”\\nConcerning your family life, ask \\\"How can I spend more time with my loved ones?\\\" or \\\"What can I do to feel closer to my siblings?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be concise about what you ask.\", \"描述\": \"You may be dealing with what seems like a large problem, but it can always be broken down. Though general questions are great if you don't have a concrete concern, breaking larger issues down can help you get to the root cause. For example:\\nInstead of asking “How can I free myself from money struggles?”, ask “Where can additional income come from?” or “How can I save more on a daily basis?”\\nInstead of asking \\\"How can I make my relationship better?\\\", ask \\\"Why does my spouse get upset with me, when I do x,y, or z?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Frame your questions positively.\", \"描述\": \"It’s easy to get trapped into negative thinking when something isn’t going as planned. Even if you have concerns as to why things are happening or not happening, keep the question positive. Frame questions so that they're free of negative connotations.\\nAsk “What can I do to be a better public speaker?” instead of “Why can’t I overcome my fear of public speaking?”\\nAsk \\\"How can I be more sociable?\\\" instead of \\\"Why can't I make more friends?\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Choosing Follow-Up Questions\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Speak up if you don’t understand something.\", \"描述\": \"Whether you’re going to a professional card reader or exploring a deck of tarot cards on your own, inquire about what you don’t understand. You may draw what looks like a negative card and need more direction. Explore what confusing cards might mean.\\nYou may draw the hanged man when you want to know how you can help a situation. On the surface, this looks like powerlessness, but it can be about acceptance.\\nYou could draw the hermit when you ask about how you can bring more excitement into your love life. Instead of saying you’re destined to be alone, it could be saying you need to reflect inwards before you can find a fulfilling love life.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Notice your reaction to cards.\", \"描述\": \"The way you respond to cards as they’re laid can give you valuable insight into how you’re dealing with certain situations. Pay attention to your reaction to different cards. Don’t overthink it and write down how you feel about them.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Remember things you might want more direction on.\", \"描述\": \"A tarot card reading is no different than a lecture you might have additional questions about afterwards. As you go through a spread of cards, remember the points you could use more direction on.\\nIf a card indicates you need to embrace your feminine side, remember that and ask “How can I better embrace my femininity?”\\nIf a card says your expectations are too high, like the four of cups, remember that and ask \\\"How can I be more realistic?\\\"\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,595 | How to Ask a Teacher for Help | 1. Getting Help with Schoolwork
1-1. Try problem-solving first.
When possible, try to figure out the solution to your problem on your own before you resort to other options. Teachers like it when students try to problem solve before asking for help. It shows independence.
Try to use your resources. For example, see if the answer to your question is in your textbook or notes.
Some teachers tell students to “phone a friend” or ask another student for help before asking the teacher.
1-2. Be brave.
A lot of times people won’t ask for help because they are afraid they will look stupid or embarrass themselves. The truth is, not asking for help is usually worse because you don’t get the help you need. If you’ve tried to problem solve, but still need help, then be brave and ask your teacher.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself that asking your teacher for help is a mature thing to do.
Say to yourself, “Asking for help means I’m mature. It’s what I should do when I don’t understand.”
You can also remind yourself, “There’s probably someone else that has the same question, but is afraid to ask. So I’ll be brave and ask.”
1-3. Get your teacher’s attention the right way.
Yelling “I need help” or just blurting out your question while your teacher is talking is not the best way to get their attention. To respect your teacher, raise your hand or use the signal they taught you when asking for help.
For example, your teacher might have taught you to hold up an American Sign Language ‘a’ to silently signal that you want to ask a question.
Sometimes you may need to approach your teacher to get their attention. If you do, politely say “Excuse me.”
For example, your Math teacher is at his desk looking over papers and doesn’t see your raised hand. You could walk up and say, “Excuse me, Mr. Jenkins.”
1-4. Tell your teacher what you need help with.
Teachers know a lot of things, and sometimes seem like they can read your mind. It will be a lot easier for you to ask for help, however, and get the help you need from your teacher. You just need to let them know exactly what you need help with.
You can start by saying something like, “Mr. Golden, could you help me with the fourth discussion question?”
Then you can be more specific. For example, “I don’t understand what the second part of the question is asking.”
1-5. Don’t ask your teacher for the answers.
That doesn’t help you learn and most teachers won’t just give you the answer anyway. Instead, ask your teacher for help finding the answer or remembering the steps to find the answer.
This will help you figure out similar questions and show your teacher that you want to be a good problem-solver.
For example, instead of asking, “What’s the main topic of this passage?” You could ask, “How do I find the main topic of a passage?”
Alternatively, you might say, "How do I multiple two-digit numbers?" instead of, "What is 30 times 15?"
1-6. Listen to the response.
It doesn’t do any good to ask a teacher for help if you aren’t going to really listen to their answer. Paying attention to your teacher’s answer will get you the help you need with your schoolwork. It will also show your teacher respect which will encourage them to help you next time you ask.
Don’t get impatient, if their answer turns into a mini-lesson. Your teacher is just trying to help you and make sure you understand.
Their answer to your question might answer another question you have or teach you something else.
Ask more questions if you don’t understand. For example, you could say, “And how do I know if it’s a right angle?”
2. Asking for Help with Personal Problems
2-1. Ask to talk to the teacher in private.
If you want to ask your teacher for help with a personal issue that you have, you should talk to the teacher alone, not during class time. Talking in private will help you feel less nervous and more comfortable about asking for help. It will also give your teacher more time to help you because they aren’t trying to teach at the same time.
For example, you could say, “When you have time later today, could we talk about a problem I’m having?”
If you’re afraid to approach your teacher, put a note on their chair. The note could say, “Can we talk later about something personal? Thanks, Mark.”
You could also send your teacher an email or message letting them know you would like to ask their help with a personal issue.
2-2. Tell your teacher what kind of help you need.
Sometimes teachers will try to offer advice on what you should do, when all you wanted was for them to listen. If you let your teacher know how they can help, it will make it easier for them to give you the help you want and need.
Think about what kind of help you want. Ask yourself, “Do I want her to listen, to give me advice, or to do something about the problem?”
Tell your teacher how they can help. For example, “Can you help me come up with ways to make more friends?”
If you don’t know how you want your teacher to help, you it’s okay for you to say that, too.
Try saying, “I need your help with a problem, but I don’t know what kind of help I need.”
2-3. Be honest.
It will be a lot easier for you to ask your teacher for help if you are truthful about what is going on. You won’t have to worry about keeping a lie straight, so you will feel more relaxed talking to your teacher. Also, being honest will help your teacher figure out the right way to help you.
The more truthful information your teacher has about what is going on, the more they will be able to help.
If you are afraid you will get in trouble, then say that. You could say, “I need your help with something but I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.”
If you are asking for help, but also trying not to get someone else in trouble, you could leave out names, but still be honest about what is going on.
For example, “My friend is thinking about cheating on a test and I need advice on how to stop them from doing something so stupid.”
3. Asking for Help as a Parent
3-1. Don’t be afraid.
Some parents may be hesitant to ask for help because they don’t speak English or think the teacher will look down on them. If you need help, and think the teacher can provide it, then don’t be afraid to ask! Teachers want to help your child succeed and like it when you communicate with them because it shows your love for your child.
Most schools have interpreters and some teachers speak multiple languages.
If you don’t have time to go to the school, then give the teacher a call or send the teacher a note, email, or text.
Remind yourself, “Parent-teacher communication is good and I can’t get help if I don’t ask for it.”
Tell yourself, “This teacher wants what’s best for my child. She won’t look down on me for asking for help. She’ll know I’m trying to be a good parent.”
3-2. Contact the teacher as soon as you realize you need help.
Asking a teacher for help early on may prevent the issue from getting any bigger. It also gives the teacher the opportunity to be proactive and stop problems at home from impacting schoolwork so much.
Don’t wait until report cards or progress reports come home.
If you notice that your child is struggling with homework or their grades are falling, you should ask the teacher for help immediately.
If your family is dealing with major stress like death, divorce, financial issues, or even moving you should ask the teacher for help supporting your child through it.
3-3. Figure out what type of help you need.
As a parent, you might need to ask for help with your child’s academics, social life, or even for help with something in your personal life. Knowing how you want the teacher to help will make it easier for you to get the help you need.
You might need advice. For instance, you might need to ask for advice about encouraging your child to make better choices in friends.
Some parents need assistance. For example, you may need to ask for help paying for the upcoming field trip.
You may want information. You might, for example, want to ask for help becoming more active at your child’s school.
3-4. Contact the teacher at the right time.
Even though teachers can be a great place to turn when you need help, teachers are very busy throughout the school day. Contacting them at the right time will give them more time to help you.
Before school and after school may seem like good times to call or go see a teacher to ask for help, but teachers are often very busy at these times.
If possible, contact the teacher ahead of time via note, phone, text, or email to schedule a time for you all to talk.
For example, you could send an email that says, “Greetings! I would like to ask your help with something. When is a good day and time for us to talk?”
Tips
Your parents are there for you, too!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Help with Schoolwork\\n1-1. Try problem-solving first.\\nWhen possible, try to figure out the solution to your problem on your own before you resort to other options. Teachers like it when students try to problem solve before asking for help. It shows independence.\\nTry to use your resources. For example, see if the answer to your question is in your textbook or notes.\\nSome teachers tell students to “phone a friend” or ask another student for help before asking the teacher.\\n1-2. Be brave.\\nA lot of times people won’t ask for help because they are afraid they will look stupid or embarrass themselves. The truth is, not asking for help is usually worse because you don’t get the help you need. If you’ve tried to problem solve, but still need help, then be brave and ask your teacher.\\nTake a deep breath and remind yourself that asking your teacher for help is a mature thing to do.\\nSay to yourself, “Asking for help means I’m mature. It’s what I should do when I don’t understand.”\\nYou can also remind yourself, “There’s probably someone else that has the same question, but is afraid to ask. So I’ll be brave and ask.”\\n1-3. Get your teacher’s attention the right way.\\nYelling “I need help” or just blurting out your question while your teacher is talking is not the best way to get their attention. To respect your teacher, raise your hand or use the signal they taught you when asking for help.\\nFor example, your teacher might have taught you to hold up an American Sign Language ‘a’ to silently signal that you want to ask a question.\\nSometimes you may need to approach your teacher to get their attention. If you do, politely say “Excuse me.”\\nFor example, your Math teacher is at his desk looking over papers and doesn’t see your raised hand. You could walk up and say, “Excuse me, Mr. Jenkins.”\\n1-4. Tell your teacher what you need help with.\\nTeachers know a lot of things, and sometimes seem like they can read your mind. It will be a lot easier for you to ask for help, however, and get the help you need from your teacher. You just need to let them know exactly what you need help with.\\nYou can start by saying something like, “Mr. Golden, could you help me with the fourth discussion question?”\\nThen you can be more specific. For example, “I don’t understand what the second part of the question is asking.”\\n1-5. Don’t ask your teacher for the answers.\\nThat doesn’t help you learn and most teachers won’t just give you the answer anyway. Instead, ask your teacher for help finding the answer or remembering the steps to find the answer.\\nThis will help you figure out similar questions and show your teacher that you want to be a good problem-solver.\\nFor example, instead of asking, “What’s the main topic of this passage?” You could ask, “How do I find the main topic of a passage?”\\nAlternatively, you might say, \\\"How do I multiple two-digit numbers?\\\" instead of, \\\"What is 30 times 15?\\\"\\n1-6. Listen to the response.\\nIt doesn’t do any good to ask a teacher for help if you aren’t going to really listen to their answer. Paying attention to your teacher’s answer will get you the help you need with your schoolwork. It will also show your teacher respect which will encourage them to help you next time you ask.\\nDon’t get impatient, if their answer turns into a mini-lesson. Your teacher is just trying to help you and make sure you understand.\\nTheir answer to your question might answer another question you have or teach you something else.\\nAsk more questions if you don’t understand. For example, you could say, “And how do I know if it’s a right angle?”\\n2. Asking for Help with Personal Problems\\n2-1. Ask to talk to the teacher in private.\\nIf you want to ask your teacher for help with a personal issue that you have, you should talk to the teacher alone, not during class time. Talking in private will help you feel less nervous and more comfortable about asking for help. It will also give your teacher more time to help you because they aren’t trying to teach at the same time.\\nFor example, you could say, “When you have time later today, could we talk about a problem I’m having?”\\nIf you’re afraid to approach your teacher, put a note on their chair. The note could say, “Can we talk later about something personal? Thanks, Mark.”\\nYou could also send your teacher an email or message letting them know you would like to ask their help with a personal issue.\\n2-2. Tell your teacher what kind of help you need.\\nSometimes teachers will try to offer advice on what you should do, when all you wanted was for them to listen. If you let your teacher know how they can help, it will make it easier for them to give you the help you want and need.\\nThink about what kind of help you want. Ask yourself, “Do I want her to listen, to give me advice, or to do something about the problem?”\\nTell your teacher how they can help. For example, “Can you help me come up with ways to make more friends?”\\nIf you don’t know how you want your teacher to help, you it’s okay for you to say that, too.\\nTry saying, “I need your help with a problem, but I don’t know what kind of help I need.”\\n2-3. Be honest.\\nIt will be a lot easier for you to ask your teacher for help if you are truthful about what is going on. You won’t have to worry about keeping a lie straight, so you will feel more relaxed talking to your teacher. Also, being honest will help your teacher figure out the right way to help you.\\nThe more truthful information your teacher has about what is going on, the more they will be able to help.\\nIf you are afraid you will get in trouble, then say that. You could say, “I need your help with something but I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.”\\nIf you are asking for help, but also trying not to get someone else in trouble, you could leave out names, but still be honest about what is going on.\\nFor example, “My friend is thinking about cheating on a test and I need advice on how to stop them from doing something so stupid.”\\n3. Asking for Help as a Parent\\n3-1. Don’t be afraid.\\nSome parents may be hesitant to ask for help because they don’t speak English or think the teacher will look down on them. If you need help, and think the teacher can provide it, then don’t be afraid to ask! Teachers want to help your child succeed and like it when you communicate with them because it shows your love for your child.\\nMost schools have interpreters and some teachers speak multiple languages.\\nIf you don’t have time to go to the school, then give the teacher a call or send the teacher a note, email, or text.\\nRemind yourself, “Parent-teacher communication is good and I can’t get help if I don’t ask for it.”\\nTell yourself, “This teacher wants what’s best for my child. She won’t look down on me for asking for help. She’ll know I’m trying to be a good parent.”\\n3-2. Contact the teacher as soon as you realize you need help.\\nAsking a teacher for help early on may prevent the issue from getting any bigger. It also gives the teacher the opportunity to be proactive and stop problems at home from impacting schoolwork so much.\\nDon’t wait until report cards or progress reports come home.\\nIf you notice that your child is struggling with homework or their grades are falling, you should ask the teacher for help immediately.\\nIf your family is dealing with major stress like death, divorce, financial issues, or even moving you should ask the teacher for help supporting your child through it.\\n3-3. Figure out what type of help you need.\\nAs a parent, you might need to ask for help with your child’s academics, social life, or even for help with something in your personal life. Knowing how you want the teacher to help will make it easier for you to get the help you need.\\nYou might need advice. For instance, you might need to ask for advice about encouraging your child to make better choices in friends.\\nSome parents need assistance. For example, you may need to ask for help paying for the upcoming field trip.\\nYou may want information. You might, for example, want to ask for help becoming more active at your child’s school.\\n3-4. Contact the teacher at the right time.\\nEven though teachers can be a great place to turn when you need help, teachers are very busy throughout the school day. Contacting them at the right time will give them more time to help you.\\nBefore school and after school may seem like good times to call or go see a teacher to ask for help, but teachers are often very busy at these times.\\nIf possible, contact the teacher ahead of time via note, phone, text, or email to schedule a time for you all to talk.\\nFor example, you could send an email that says, “Greetings! I would like to ask your help with something. When is a good day and time for us to talk?”\\nTips\\nYour parents are there for you, too!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It can sometimes be scary or intimidating to ask a teacher for help. Whether you or a student or a parent, you may not know the right way to approach the teacher or even what to say. However, if you use strategies like talking to the teacher at the right time and being clear about what help you need you can ask a teacher for help.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Help with Schoolwork\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Try problem-solving first.\", \"描述\": \"When possible, try to figure out the solution to your problem on your own before you resort to other options. Teachers like it when students try to problem solve before asking for help. It shows independence.\\nTry to use your resources. For example, see if the answer to your question is in your textbook or notes.\\nSome teachers tell students to “phone a friend” or ask another student for help before asking the teacher.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be brave.\", \"描述\": \"A lot of times people won’t ask for help because they are afraid they will look stupid or embarrass themselves. The truth is, not asking for help is usually worse because you don’t get the help you need. If you’ve tried to problem solve, but still need help, then be brave and ask your teacher.\\nTake a deep breath and remind yourself that asking your teacher for help is a mature thing to do.\\nSay to yourself, “Asking for help means I’m mature. It’s what I should do when I don’t understand.”\\nYou can also remind yourself, “There’s probably someone else that has the same question, but is afraid to ask. So I’ll be brave and ask.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get your teacher’s attention the right way.\", \"描述\": \"Yelling “I need help” or just blurting out your question while your teacher is talking is not the best way to get their attention. To respect your teacher, raise your hand or use the signal they taught you when asking for help.\\nFor example, your teacher might have taught you to hold up an American Sign Language ‘a’ to silently signal that you want to ask a question.\\nSometimes you may need to approach your teacher to get their attention. If you do, politely say “Excuse me.”\\nFor example, your Math teacher is at his desk looking over papers and doesn’t see your raised hand. You could walk up and say, “Excuse me, Mr. Jenkins.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Tell your teacher what you need help with.\", \"描述\": \"Teachers know a lot of things, and sometimes seem like they can read your mind. It will be a lot easier for you to ask for help, however, and get the help you need from your teacher. You just need to let them know exactly what you need help with.\\nYou can start by saying something like, “Mr. Golden, could you help me with the fourth discussion question?”\\nThen you can be more specific. For example, “I don’t understand what the second part of the question is asking.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don’t ask your teacher for the answers.\", \"描述\": \"That doesn’t help you learn and most teachers won’t just give you the answer anyway. Instead, ask your teacher for help finding the answer or remembering the steps to find the answer.\\nThis will help you figure out similar questions and show your teacher that you want to be a good problem-solver.\\nFor example, instead of asking, “What’s the main topic of this passage?” You could ask, “How do I find the main topic of a passage?”\\nAlternatively, you might say, \\\"How do I multiple two-digit numbers?\\\" instead of, \\\"What is 30 times 15?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Listen to the response.\", \"描述\": \"It doesn’t do any good to ask a teacher for help if you aren’t going to really listen to their answer. Paying attention to your teacher’s answer will get you the help you need with your schoolwork. It will also show your teacher respect which will encourage them to help you next time you ask.\\nDon’t get impatient, if their answer turns into a mini-lesson. Your teacher is just trying to help you and make sure you understand.\\nTheir answer to your question might answer another question you have or teach you something else.\\nAsk more questions if you don’t understand. For example, you could say, “And how do I know if it’s a right angle?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for Help with Personal Problems\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask to talk to the teacher in private.\", \"描述\": \"If you want to ask your teacher for help with a personal issue that you have, you should talk to the teacher alone, not during class time. Talking in private will help you feel less nervous and more comfortable about asking for help. It will also give your teacher more time to help you because they aren’t trying to teach at the same time.\\nFor example, you could say, “When you have time later today, could we talk about a problem I’m having?”\\nIf you’re afraid to approach your teacher, put a note on their chair. The note could say, “Can we talk later about something personal? Thanks, Mark.”\\nYou could also send your teacher an email or message letting them know you would like to ask their help with a personal issue.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tell your teacher what kind of help you need.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes teachers will try to offer advice on what you should do, when all you wanted was for them to listen. If you let your teacher know how they can help, it will make it easier for them to give you the help you want and need.\\nThink about what kind of help you want. Ask yourself, “Do I want her to listen, to give me advice, or to do something about the problem?”\\nTell your teacher how they can help. For example, “Can you help me come up with ways to make more friends?”\\nIf you don’t know how you want your teacher to help, you it’s okay for you to say that, too.\\nTry saying, “I need your help with a problem, but I don’t know what kind of help I need.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest.\", \"描述\": \"It will be a lot easier for you to ask your teacher for help if you are truthful about what is going on. You won’t have to worry about keeping a lie straight, so you will feel more relaxed talking to your teacher. Also, being honest will help your teacher figure out the right way to help you.\\nThe more truthful information your teacher has about what is going on, the more they will be able to help.\\nIf you are afraid you will get in trouble, then say that. You could say, “I need your help with something but I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.”\\nIf you are asking for help, but also trying not to get someone else in trouble, you could leave out names, but still be honest about what is going on.\\nFor example, “My friend is thinking about cheating on a test and I need advice on how to stop them from doing something so stupid.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking for Help as a Parent\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t be afraid.\", \"描述\": \"Some parents may be hesitant to ask for help because they don’t speak English or think the teacher will look down on them. If you need help, and think the teacher can provide it, then don’t be afraid to ask! Teachers want to help your child succeed and like it when you communicate with them because it shows your love for your child.\\nMost schools have interpreters and some teachers speak multiple languages.\\nIf you don’t have time to go to the school, then give the teacher a call or send the teacher a note, email, or text.\\nRemind yourself, “Parent-teacher communication is good and I can’t get help if I don’t ask for it.”\\nTell yourself, “This teacher wants what’s best for my child. She won’t look down on me for asking for help. She’ll know I’m trying to be a good parent.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Contact the teacher as soon as you realize you need help.\", \"描述\": \"Asking a teacher for help early on may prevent the issue from getting any bigger. It also gives the teacher the opportunity to be proactive and stop problems at home from impacting schoolwork so much.\\nDon’t wait until report cards or progress reports come home.\\nIf you notice that your child is struggling with homework or their grades are falling, you should ask the teacher for help immediately.\\nIf your family is dealing with major stress like death, divorce, financial issues, or even moving you should ask the teacher for help supporting your child through it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Figure out what type of help you need.\", \"描述\": \"As a parent, you might need to ask for help with your child’s academics, social life, or even for help with something in your personal life. Knowing how you want the teacher to help will make it easier for you to get the help you need.\\nYou might need advice. For instance, you might need to ask for advice about encouraging your child to make better choices in friends.\\nSome parents need assistance. For example, you may need to ask for help paying for the upcoming field trip.\\nYou may want information. You might, for example, want to ask for help becoming more active at your child’s school.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Contact the teacher at the right time.\", \"描述\": \"Even though teachers can be a great place to turn when you need help, teachers are very busy throughout the school day. Contacting them at the right time will give them more time to help you.\\nBefore school and after school may seem like good times to call or go see a teacher to ask for help, but teachers are often very busy at these times.\\nIf possible, contact the teacher ahead of time via note, phone, text, or email to schedule a time for you all to talk.\\nFor example, you could send an email that says, “Greetings! I would like to ask your help with something. When is a good day and time for us to talk?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Your parents are there for you, too!\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,596 | How to Ask a Waitress Out | 1. Putting the Best Foot Forward
1-1. Flirt subtly.
Waitresses deal with forward men every month, every week, and maybe every shift. Being too eager, too bold, or too aggressive in your approach can cause her to raise her defenses before you’ve even made a play. “He’s just another one of THOSE guys,” she may say to herself. This will doom your goal.
A boor will say something like, “Hey, what time does your shift end?” Not only is this a terrible line but it is also creepy, making it seem as though you will be waiting for her at closing time.
Don’t be so transparent, and don’t be creepy. Instead, try engaging her in conversation, i.e. “This is my first time here. Wow, are you always so busy on Tuesdays?”
1-2. Be polite.
Like with flirting, you should be a gentleman and on your best behavior. Make it clear that you are nice, respectful, and thoughtful – again, not some creep. Employ the usual trappings of politeness that you use in other social situations.
Say please and thank you. A waitress is serving you, but she is still a person and should be treated like it. This is just normal kindness.
Don’t call her sweetheart or any other “pet name.” It is condescending. Also, don’t stare at her. She may well be very pretty, but you will probably make her uncomfortable.
Avoid complaining about the restaurant. Your waitress did not write the menu, set the prices, design the décore. Nor does she control how busy the establishment is. Complaining will only put her off.
You might try empathizing with her, though. For example, if the restaurant is annoyingly busy, express your solidarity, i.e. “It sure is busy tonight. They should really give you more help with the tables.”
1-3. Order what she recommends.
Your waitress knows the menu like the back of her hand. She knows what’s good, what’s so-so, and what ends up in the garbage. Ask her for recommendations. She’ll notice and point you toward a good meal. It shows a level of trust and turns the conversation to her.
Conversely, don’t order something that is not on the menu or ask her to make substitutions. This makes her job harder and will only serve as an annoyance.
1-4. Talk about something other than food.
She has been talking about food the whole day. Turn the conversation to something more interesting, whether about you or her. Try to make yourself seem genuinely interesting.
No long conversations about who the restaurant’s beef supplier is, or how much they pay for vodka wholesale.
Talk about yourself a bit, or at least hint at it. Waitresses are hit on a lot, and while they're always friendly about it, they probably will turn you down if they don't know you well.
At the same time, turn the conversation to her. Talking only about yourself might come off as self-absorbed. Empathic people ask questions and listen to others.
1-5. Tip well.
Keep in mind that tips make up about 85% of a waitress’ total wages. Tipping is not just polite, but says that you are well-mannered as well as confident, friendly, and interested.
Tip what you can afford, but don’t be stingy. You will leave a better impression if you err on the side of generosity.
You may remember when 15% was pretty standard for good service. Those days are long gone. Nowadays the standard tip is closer to 20%. Aim for 20% or even 25% for the best effect.
2. Avoiding Common Mistakes
2-1. Don’t monopolize her attention.
Remember that your waitress is working and earning a living. She has other tables to serve and other demands on her time. If you try to get her attention too often, she’ll quickly get annoyed.
Remember that she may be very busy. It might even be kind to acknowledge it, i.e. “I don’t want to keep you here talking too long. I can see that you have a lot of work to do!”
Keep in mind as well that, if you monopolize her time, she might get in trouble with her employers.
2-2. Avoid sexual advances.
Nothing – but nothing – will doom your efforts to catch your waitress’ fancy than suggestive or crude overtures. Remember to put your best foot forward and be polite, ever the gentleman. You are in a restaurant, not a night club or frat house.
It is never OK to touch or make unwanted advances. This applies not just to your waitress but any woman. No sexual comments, gestures, or banter.
Alcohol may lower your inhibitions and lead you to say things you’ll regret. Be careful not to carry on your flirting if you’ve been drinking too much.
As in all social situations, if she asks you to stop something, stop it.
2-3. Don’t overstay your welcome.
Your first thought might be that the waitress will have more time and be more open to accepting a date if you wait until she stops working. This first thought is wrong. Instead, it looks creepy. Know when to pick your spot and leave.
Very probably your waitress doesn’t want to join you for a drink or coffee immediately after her shift. More likely she wants to go home. You’d be better served by deciding to ask her, making your play, and getting on with your night.
If the waitress thinks that you are interested, your sticking around for hours will become a major distraction and annoyance to her.
2-4. Don’t necessarily ask the first time.
If you have struck up an interesting conversation with your waitress and feel a bond, you needn’t act on your first impulse. Take your time. Try stopping in once in a while if the restaurant is conveniently located.
Build up a mutual recognition. It may be a good sign if she notices when you stop in or says hello.
While being a regular is OK, avoid frequenting the restaurant too often lest you seem like a stalker. If you always eat at the same table and always smile at her, she may be creeped out.
3. Making Your Move
3-1. Build up a rapport.
Using the techniques we’ve discussed, try to get to know the waitress a bit. Talk over the course of several meals or drinks, if possible, and learn about her while subtly introducing yourself. This way your request for a date will not seem like it’s coming from a complete stranger.
Try to sit at one of the tables she is serving. Take note of any giveaways that she is unavailable, like a ring on her left hand.
3-2. Leave a note on a napkin.
One way to ask her out without the embarrassment of a possible rejection is to leave a note on one side of a napkin. After paying, jot down your name and number and then leave. If she’s interested, she’ll respond. Notes also leave the matter entirely in her hand and spares her from feeling pressure or having to make a hasty decision.
Be short and to the point, i.e. “You seem like a thoughtful person that I’d interested to know better. Coffee sometime?” End with your name and number.
Insert a nice tip into the fold of a napkin, with the money is sticking out. Make sure that she will notice the tip or someone else could pick it up
Use a clean napkin if you decide on this route.
3-3. Leave a note in the check presenter.
In this variant, leave your note inside of the check presenter with your payment and tip. Go with the same approach, including a short offer to take her out and your name and number. Don’t stick around, as it will only make her uncomfortable.
Unlike a napkin, the check presenter should be fairly secure and discreet. In many restaurants, there is an unspoken rule that servers only touch check presenters from their table.
If there is room, write the message directly onto the receipt. If not, use a napkin in a pinch.
Aim for a kind and no-pressure request, i.e. “To my charming waitress: pardon my forwardness, but I’d love to take you out. (Insert phone number). Call me sometime. I’d love to hear from you.
3-4. Hand her a note with your tip or receipt.
This gambit involves your passing the note to the waitress directly as you leave the restaurant. Bold, but sure to get her attention. Tuck your tip inside of folded piece of paper with your note.
Write something like, “(Your name and number) Dinner sometime? Call me anytime. I’d love to hear from you!”
Hand her the note as you walk to the door, saying, “This is for you.”
3-5. Accept a rejection.
Your move may well not work out. Your waitress might have just been friendly, or perhaps she is married or involved with someone else. In any case, do not push it any further. Accept the rejection and move on.
The beauty of the note request is its discreetness and also lack of pressure. If you asked her out on a note, you’ll know she is interested or not by her response. The ball is in her court.
Don’t be discouraged if you’ve tried all of the above and she doesn’t call. At least you tried – many men would not!
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Putting the Best Foot Forward\\n1-1. Flirt subtly.\\nWaitresses deal with forward men every month, every week, and maybe every shift. Being too eager, too bold, or too aggressive in your approach can cause her to raise her defenses before you’ve even made a play. “He’s just another one of THOSE guys,” she may say to herself. This will doom your goal.\\nA boor will say something like, “Hey, what time does your shift end?” Not only is this a terrible line but it is also creepy, making it seem as though you will be waiting for her at closing time.\\nDon’t be so transparent, and don’t be creepy. Instead, try engaging her in conversation, i.e. “This is my first time here. Wow, are you always so busy on Tuesdays?”\\n1-2. Be polite.\\nLike with flirting, you should be a gentleman and on your best behavior. Make it clear that you are nice, respectful, and thoughtful – again, not some creep. Employ the usual trappings of politeness that you use in other social situations.\\nSay please and thank you. A waitress is serving you, but she is still a person and should be treated like it. This is just normal kindness.\\nDon’t call her sweetheart or any other “pet name.” It is condescending. Also, don’t stare at her. She may well be very pretty, but you will probably make her uncomfortable.\\nAvoid complaining about the restaurant. Your waitress did not write the menu, set the prices, design the décore. Nor does she control how busy the establishment is. Complaining will only put her off.\\nYou might try empathizing with her, though. For example, if the restaurant is annoyingly busy, express your solidarity, i.e. “It sure is busy tonight. They should really give you more help with the tables.”\\n1-3. Order what she recommends.\\nYour waitress knows the menu like the back of her hand. She knows what’s good, what’s so-so, and what ends up in the garbage. Ask her for recommendations. She’ll notice and point you toward a good meal. It shows a level of trust and turns the conversation to her.\\nConversely, don’t order something that is not on the menu or ask her to make substitutions. This makes her job harder and will only serve as an annoyance.\\n1-4. Talk about something other than food.\\nShe has been talking about food the whole day. Turn the conversation to something more interesting, whether about you or her. Try to make yourself seem genuinely interesting.\\nNo long conversations about who the restaurant’s beef supplier is, or how much they pay for vodka wholesale.\\nTalk about yourself a bit, or at least hint at it. Waitresses are hit on a lot, and while they're always friendly about it, they probably will turn you down if they don't know you well.\\nAt the same time, turn the conversation to her. Talking only about yourself might come off as self-absorbed. Empathic people ask questions and listen to others.\\n1-5. Tip well.\\nKeep in mind that tips make up about 85% of a waitress’ total wages. Tipping is not just polite, but says that you are well-mannered as well as confident, friendly, and interested.\\nTip what you can afford, but don’t be stingy. You will leave a better impression if you err on the side of generosity.\\nYou may remember when 15% was pretty standard for good service. Those days are long gone. Nowadays the standard tip is closer to 20%. Aim for 20% or even 25% for the best effect.\\n2. Avoiding Common Mistakes\\n2-1. Don’t monopolize her attention.\\nRemember that your waitress is working and earning a living. She has other tables to serve and other demands on her time. If you try to get her attention too often, she’ll quickly get annoyed.\\nRemember that she may be very busy. It might even be kind to acknowledge it, i.e. “I don’t want to keep you here talking too long. I can see that you have a lot of work to do!”\\nKeep in mind as well that, if you monopolize her time, she might get in trouble with her employers.\\n2-2. Avoid sexual advances.\\nNothing – but nothing – will doom your efforts to catch your waitress’ fancy than suggestive or crude overtures. Remember to put your best foot forward and be polite, ever the gentleman. You are in a restaurant, not a night club or frat house.\\nIt is never OK to touch or make unwanted advances. This applies not just to your waitress but any woman. No sexual comments, gestures, or banter.\\nAlcohol may lower your inhibitions and lead you to say things you’ll regret. Be careful not to carry on your flirting if you’ve been drinking too much.\\nAs in all social situations, if she asks you to stop something, stop it.\\n2-3. Don’t overstay your welcome.\\nYour first thought might be that the waitress will have more time and be more open to accepting a date if you wait until she stops working. This first thought is wrong. Instead, it looks creepy. Know when to pick your spot and leave.\\nVery probably your waitress doesn’t want to join you for a drink or coffee immediately after her shift. More likely she wants to go home. You’d be better served by deciding to ask her, making your play, and getting on with your night.\\nIf the waitress thinks that you are interested, your sticking around for hours will become a major distraction and annoyance to her.\\n2-4. Don’t necessarily ask the first time.\\nIf you have struck up an interesting conversation with your waitress and feel a bond, you needn’t act on your first impulse. Take your time. Try stopping in once in a while if the restaurant is conveniently located.\\nBuild up a mutual recognition. It may be a good sign if she notices when you stop in or says hello.\\nWhile being a regular is OK, avoid frequenting the restaurant too often lest you seem like a stalker. If you always eat at the same table and always smile at her, she may be creeped out.\\n3. Making Your Move\\n3-1. Build up a rapport.\\nUsing the techniques we’ve discussed, try to get to know the waitress a bit. Talk over the course of several meals or drinks, if possible, and learn about her while subtly introducing yourself. This way your request for a date will not seem like it’s coming from a complete stranger.\\nTry to sit at one of the tables she is serving. Take note of any giveaways that she is unavailable, like a ring on her left hand.\\n3-2. Leave a note on a napkin.\\nOne way to ask her out without the embarrassment of a possible rejection is to leave a note on one side of a napkin. After paying, jot down your name and number and then leave. If she’s interested, she’ll respond. Notes also leave the matter entirely in her hand and spares her from feeling pressure or having to make a hasty decision.\\nBe short and to the point, i.e. “You seem like a thoughtful person that I’d interested to know better. Coffee sometime?” End with your name and number.\\nInsert a nice tip into the fold of a napkin, with the money is sticking out. Make sure that she will notice the tip or someone else could pick it up\\nUse a clean napkin if you decide on this route.\\n3-3. Leave a note in the check presenter.\\nIn this variant, leave your note inside of the check presenter with your payment and tip. Go with the same approach, including a short offer to take her out and your name and number. Don’t stick around, as it will only make her uncomfortable.\\nUnlike a napkin, the check presenter should be fairly secure and discreet. In many restaurants, there is an unspoken rule that servers only touch check presenters from their table.\\nIf there is room, write the message directly onto the receipt. If not, use a napkin in a pinch.\\nAim for a kind and no-pressure request, i.e. “To my charming waitress: pardon my forwardness, but I’d love to take you out. (Insert phone number). Call me sometime. I’d love to hear from you.\\n3-4. Hand her a note with your tip or receipt.\\nThis gambit involves your passing the note to the waitress directly as you leave the restaurant. Bold, but sure to get her attention. Tuck your tip inside of folded piece of paper with your note.\\nWrite something like, “(Your name and number) Dinner sometime? Call me anytime. I’d love to hear from you!”\\nHand her the note as you walk to the door, saying, “This is for you.”\\n3-5. Accept a rejection.\\nYour move may well not work out. Your waitress might have just been friendly, or perhaps she is married or involved with someone else. In any case, do not push it any further. Accept the rejection and move on.\\nThe beauty of the note request is its discreetness and also lack of pressure. If you asked her out on a note, you’ll know she is interested or not by her response. The ball is in her court.\\nDon’t be discouraged if you’ve tried all of the above and she doesn’t call. At least you tried – many men would not!\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Have you ever gone to a restaurant or café and been struck by your waitress? Was she charming, attractive, friendly, and flirty? Perhaps she seemed interested in you? Asking out a server is always risky, because it blurs what is normally a straightforward business interaction. How can you know whether or not she is like this with all customers? Try to be a perfect gentleman if you decide to ask out a server – polite, discreet, and kind – and, most of all, don’t be a creep. This article is based on an interview with our dating and relationship coach, Suzanna Mathews, founder of The Date Maven. Check out the full interview here.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Putting the Best Foot Forward\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Flirt subtly.\", \"描述\": \"Waitresses deal with forward men every month, every week, and maybe every shift. Being too eager, too bold, or too aggressive in your approach can cause her to raise her defenses before you’ve even made a play. “He’s just another one of THOSE guys,” she may say to herself. This will doom your goal.\\nA boor will say something like, “Hey, what time does your shift end?” Not only is this a terrible line but it is also creepy, making it seem as though you will be waiting for her at closing time.\\nDon’t be so transparent, and don’t be creepy. Instead, try engaging her in conversation, i.e. “This is my first time here. Wow, are you always so busy on Tuesdays?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be polite.\", \"描述\": \"Like with flirting, you should be a gentleman and on your best behavior. Make it clear that you are nice, respectful, and thoughtful – again, not some creep. Employ the usual trappings of politeness that you use in other social situations.\\nSay please and thank you. A waitress is serving you, but she is still a person and should be treated like it. This is just normal kindness.\\nDon’t call her sweetheart or any other “pet name.” It is condescending. Also, don’t stare at her. She may well be very pretty, but you will probably make her uncomfortable.\\nAvoid complaining about the restaurant. Your waitress did not write the menu, set the prices, design the décore. Nor does she control how busy the establishment is. Complaining will only put her off.\\nYou might try empathizing with her, though. For example, if the restaurant is annoyingly busy, express your solidarity, i.e. “It sure is busy tonight. They should really give you more help with the tables.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Order what she recommends.\", \"描述\": \"Your waitress knows the menu like the back of her hand. She knows what’s good, what’s so-so, and what ends up in the garbage. Ask her for recommendations. She’ll notice and point you toward a good meal. It shows a level of trust and turns the conversation to her.\\nConversely, don’t order something that is not on the menu or ask her to make substitutions. This makes her job harder and will only serve as an annoyance.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk about something other than food.\", \"描述\": \"She has been talking about food the whole day. Turn the conversation to something more interesting, whether about you or her. Try to make yourself seem genuinely interesting.\\nNo long conversations about who the restaurant’s beef supplier is, or how much they pay for vodka wholesale.\\nTalk about yourself a bit, or at least hint at it. Waitresses are hit on a lot, and while they're always friendly about it, they probably will turn you down if they don't know you well.\\nAt the same time, turn the conversation to her. Talking only about yourself might come off as self-absorbed. Empathic people ask questions and listen to others.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Tip well.\", \"描述\": \"Keep in mind that tips make up about 85% of a waitress’ total wages. Tipping is not just polite, but says that you are well-mannered as well as confident, friendly, and interested.\\nTip what you can afford, but don’t be stingy. You will leave a better impression if you err on the side of generosity.\\nYou may remember when 15% was pretty standard for good service. Those days are long gone. Nowadays the standard tip is closer to 20%. Aim for 20% or even 25% for the best effect.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoiding Common Mistakes\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Don’t monopolize her attention.\", \"描述\": \"Remember that your waitress is working and earning a living. She has other tables to serve and other demands on her time. If you try to get her attention too often, she’ll quickly get annoyed.\\nRemember that she may be very busy. It might even be kind to acknowledge it, i.e. “I don’t want to keep you here talking too long. I can see that you have a lot of work to do!”\\nKeep in mind as well that, if you monopolize her time, she might get in trouble with her employers.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid sexual advances.\", \"描述\": \"Nothing – but nothing – will doom your efforts to catch your waitress’ fancy than suggestive or crude overtures. Remember to put your best foot forward and be polite, ever the gentleman. You are in a restaurant, not a night club or frat house.\\nIt is never OK to touch or make unwanted advances. This applies not just to your waitress but any woman. No sexual comments, gestures, or banter.\\nAlcohol may lower your inhibitions and lead you to say things you’ll regret. Be careful not to carry on your flirting if you’ve been drinking too much.\\nAs in all social situations, if she asks you to stop something, stop it.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t overstay your welcome.\", \"描述\": \"Your first thought might be that the waitress will have more time and be more open to accepting a date if you wait until she stops working. This first thought is wrong. Instead, it looks creepy. Know when to pick your spot and leave.\\nVery probably your waitress doesn’t want to join you for a drink or coffee immediately after her shift. More likely she wants to go home. You’d be better served by deciding to ask her, making your play, and getting on with your night.\\nIf the waitress thinks that you are interested, your sticking around for hours will become a major distraction and annoyance to her.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Don’t necessarily ask the first time.\", \"描述\": \"If you have struck up an interesting conversation with your waitress and feel a bond, you needn’t act on your first impulse. Take your time. Try stopping in once in a while if the restaurant is conveniently located.\\nBuild up a mutual recognition. It may be a good sign if she notices when you stop in or says hello.\\nWhile being a regular is OK, avoid frequenting the restaurant too often lest you seem like a stalker. If you always eat at the same table and always smile at her, she may be creeped out.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Your Move\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Build up a rapport.\", \"描述\": \"Using the techniques we’ve discussed, try to get to know the waitress a bit. Talk over the course of several meals or drinks, if possible, and learn about her while subtly introducing yourself. This way your request for a date will not seem like it’s coming from a complete stranger.\\nTry to sit at one of the tables she is serving. Take note of any giveaways that she is unavailable, like a ring on her left hand.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Leave a note on a napkin.\", \"描述\": \"One way to ask her out without the embarrassment of a possible rejection is to leave a note on one side of a napkin. After paying, jot down your name and number and then leave. If she’s interested, she’ll respond. Notes also leave the matter entirely in her hand and spares her from feeling pressure or having to make a hasty decision.\\nBe short and to the point, i.e. “You seem like a thoughtful person that I’d interested to know better. Coffee sometime?” End with your name and number.\\nInsert a nice tip into the fold of a napkin, with the money is sticking out. Make sure that she will notice the tip or someone else could pick it up\\nUse a clean napkin if you decide on this route.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Leave a note in the check presenter.\", \"描述\": \"In this variant, leave your note inside of the check presenter with your payment and tip. Go with the same approach, including a short offer to take her out and your name and number. Don’t stick around, as it will only make her uncomfortable.\\nUnlike a napkin, the check presenter should be fairly secure and discreet. In many restaurants, there is an unspoken rule that servers only touch check presenters from their table.\\nIf there is room, write the message directly onto the receipt. If not, use a napkin in a pinch.\\nAim for a kind and no-pressure request, i.e. “To my charming waitress: pardon my forwardness, but I’d love to take you out. (Insert phone number). Call me sometime. I’d love to hear from you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Hand her a note with your tip or receipt.\", \"描述\": \"This gambit involves your passing the note to the waitress directly as you leave the restaurant. Bold, but sure to get her attention. Tuck your tip inside of folded piece of paper with your note.\\nWrite something like, “(Your name and number) Dinner sometime? Call me anytime. I’d love to hear from you!”\\nHand her the note as you walk to the door, saying, “This is for you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Accept a rejection.\", \"描述\": \"Your move may well not work out. Your waitress might have just been friendly, or perhaps she is married or involved with someone else. In any case, do not push it any further. Accept the rejection and move on.\\nThe beauty of the note request is its discreetness and also lack of pressure. If you asked her out on a note, you’ll know she is interested or not by her response. The ball is in her court.\\nDon’t be discouraged if you’ve tried all of the above and she doesn’t call. At least you tried – many men would not!\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,597 | How to Ask a Woman on a Date without Making Common Mistakes | 1. Communicating Your Interest
1-1. Ask her out in person, if you can.
Asking her out in person is key to successfully getting a date. Although you may be shy or intimidated, you can’t let those feelings rule you. A date is a potentially intimate moment when two people get to know each other a little better. You should start it off that way.
1-2. Pick the right time and place to ask her out.
If you’re going to ask her out in person, pick the right time and place. Picking the right time and place to ask her out is one of the most important things in getting a date. You don't want to ask at the wrong time or place, or you might blow your chance. There are a number of things you should consider when asking her out in person:
Don’t pick a time or place where she is distracted.
If you’re in a bar or club with friends, try to find a moment when you're alone. Otherwise, some of your or her friends might invite themselves and make it a group date.
Don’t ask too early in your encounter. Ask toward the end of your encounter when you think you will part ways. Otherwise, you might seem too desperate.
1-3. Call her with confidence.
Perhaps you got her phone number at a club, and want to contact her the day after and set up a date. This is alright, but make sure your phone call and texting is confident and pleasant. You’ve done the hard work of making first contact and getting her number, don’t blow it now.
Start off the conversation in a light way. Joke about something (appropriate). Try to get her laughing or relaxed.
Demonstrate your interest by asking her questions, but nothing too prying. Focus on light things.
Invite her out. Tell her you’d like to get to know her better. Based on personality, you can ask her to suggest something, or you can suggest something you think she likes.
If she declines, she might tell you why. If it’s a scheduling issue, ask her when a good time is for her. If not, drop it and politely end the conversation – unless you want to pursue a friendship.
If she accepts, try to end the conversation politely.
1-4. Text concisely.
Texting might be a way to follow up with her after you met the night before. It is a noncommittal way to communicate that many people are comfortable with. However, there are a number of things you can do wrong that will blow your shot at getting a date.
Consider texting her the afternoon after you met her. By avoiding an immediate text, you're showing that you're thinking about her, but you're not obsessing.
Start off with a light or humorous comment that will relax her and remind her of who you are. For example: "Hey! Remember that devastatingly handsome guy you met last night?"
Don’t write a long message to her.
Instead, be clear, concise, and articulate what you want – a date with her. For example: "I'd like to take you out so we can get to know each other better."
Don’t be forceful. Avoid telling her what she should do or what she'll be missing if she does not go out with you.
Allow her time to respond. Don’t jump the gun if she doesn’t text back in 3 minutes and then shoot her another text. Wait a few hours or more. Chances are, if she wants to go out with you, she’ll respond.
1-5. Avoid being vague about when and where you’ll go out or meet.
The last thing she wants is to date a guy who is wishy-washy about what he wants. Be clear about when and where you'd suggest meeting. Feel free to ask her opinion, but if she defers to you don't worry about it. Pick where and when you want to go, and set the date.
Set a specific time.
Set a specific place.
Let her know where you'll be going and what you'll be doing so she'll be prepared.
2. Treating Her Appropriately
2-1. Treat her with respect.
Make sure that any interactions you have with her are respectful and not overbearing. Don't assume that women want to be the lesser party in the relationship and always defer to your judgement. Rather, assume that your relationship, if it goes forward, will be one of equals and one based on mutual respect.
Never insult her or be rude to her.
Always consider her opinion and taste.
Don't make assumptions about her before you get to know her.
2-2. Avoid looking like a stalker, and know when to give up.
Even though you're really into her, you've got to avoid looking like a stalking. Don't obsess, and if you do, try to control it. If she's interested in you, she'll let you know. If she turns you down, then call it quits.
If she rejects you, don't try to read in between the lines and interpret it as her playing "hard to get."
If she rejects you, don't go out of your way to "bump" into her randomly.
If she rejects you, don't be rude. Just move on.
Once she has ended communication with you, it's over.
2-3. Be honest about your feelings.
Don’t sell yourself as a “friend.” When asking her out, don’t approach her as if it is two friends doing something fun. If you want to date her in a romantic way, be clear about that. If you're not clear, you're simply luring her into a friendship with ulterior motives. This is something that will ultimately frustrate both of you.
3. Presenting Yourself in a Positive Light
3-1. Make sure you have positive body language.
When asking her out, the tone and language of your body should match up with your words. You want her to get the sense from how you’re carrying yourself that you are confident and want to get to know her a little better. Make sure you’re standing up straight, smiling, your shoulders are up, and your hands and arms are in a relaxed and non-defensive posture. There are several things you should avoid:
Slouching over.
Crossing your arms. This demonstrates that you’re in a defensive posture.
Fidgeting with your hands. Don’t play with things in your hands, and don’t keep your hands in your pockets.
3-2. Have good hygiene.
In order to give her a good impression about who you are, you've got to maintain good hygiene and look well-kept. If you typically don't maintain good hygiene, now is the time to step it up. There are a number of things you need to do:
Shave or groom your beard.
Shower before a date.
Use deodorant and cologne, if you want.
Floss and brush your teeth.
Wash your clothes and only wear clean clothes.
3-3. Exude confidence.
When you ask her out, you need to make sure you seem ultra confident and sure of yourself. Try to think positively and focus on all of your good qualities in your own mind. There are pitfalls to this, though. Consider:
You don’t want to come off as arrogant or full of yourself.
You don’t want her to think that you think you’re too good for her.
You don’t want to alienate her or her friends by bragging or boasting about yourself.
3-4. Act naturally and don't make a big deal out of asking her out.
Don't make it sound like asking her out is a matter of life and death. Avoid inserting a sense of urgency into the situation. Instead, act nonchalant, but interested. If you are tense and nervous when asking her out, she will feel just as tense and nervous. Make your invitation sound as if it was the most natural thing for you to do (and it should), and this will help her feel comfortable and at ease with the plan as well.
3-5. Resist the temptation to propose a grandiose first date.
Proposing a grandiose date might give the wrong impression about who you are. While your first date should be memorable, you don’t want it to be the sort of thing that could intimidate her or could signal to her that you’re jumping the gun on a relationship that does not even exist yet. The purpose of the first date is to spend time together and focus on each other rather than some very interesting activity that would distract you from each other. Avoid:
Anything that requires traveling more than a half hour from your home city. You both should feel at ease and at home wherever it is.
Events like concerts or music festivals. Such events will undermine the ability for both of you to communicate and form a bond.
Events that the other person might not be interested in. Don’t propose a date to an exhibition on modern art unless you know that she’s also passionate about it.
Dates at locations that will force you to continue spending time together even if things go badly. Public spaces and settings are better because they will give you exit options.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Communicating Your Interest\\n1-1. Ask her out in person, if you can.\\nAsking her out in person is key to successfully getting a date. Although you may be shy or intimidated, you can’t let those feelings rule you. A date is a potentially intimate moment when two people get to know each other a little better. You should start it off that way.\\n1-2. Pick the right time and place to ask her out.\\nIf you’re going to ask her out in person, pick the right time and place. Picking the right time and place to ask her out is one of the most important things in getting a date. You don't want to ask at the wrong time or place, or you might blow your chance. There are a number of things you should consider when asking her out in person:\\nDon’t pick a time or place where she is distracted.\\nIf you’re in a bar or club with friends, try to find a moment when you're alone. Otherwise, some of your or her friends might invite themselves and make it a group date.\\nDon’t ask too early in your encounter. Ask toward the end of your encounter when you think you will part ways. Otherwise, you might seem too desperate.\\n1-3. Call her with confidence.\\nPerhaps you got her phone number at a club, and want to contact her the day after and set up a date. This is alright, but make sure your phone call and texting is confident and pleasant. You’ve done the hard work of making first contact and getting her number, don’t blow it now.\\nStart off the conversation in a light way. Joke about something (appropriate). Try to get her laughing or relaxed.\\nDemonstrate your interest by asking her questions, but nothing too prying. Focus on light things.\\nInvite her out. Tell her you’d like to get to know her better. Based on personality, you can ask her to suggest something, or you can suggest something you think she likes.\\nIf she declines, she might tell you why. If it’s a scheduling issue, ask her when a good time is for her. If not, drop it and politely end the conversation – unless you want to pursue a friendship.\\nIf she accepts, try to end the conversation politely.\\n1-4. Text concisely.\\nTexting might be a way to follow up with her after you met the night before. It is a noncommittal way to communicate that many people are comfortable with. However, there are a number of things you can do wrong that will blow your shot at getting a date.\\nConsider texting her the afternoon after you met her. By avoiding an immediate text, you're showing that you're thinking about her, but you're not obsessing.\\nStart off with a light or humorous comment that will relax her and remind her of who you are. For example: \\\"Hey! Remember that devastatingly handsome guy you met last night?\\\"\\nDon’t write a long message to her.\\nInstead, be clear, concise, and articulate what you want – a date with her. For example: \\\"I'd like to take you out so we can get to know each other better.\\\"\\nDon’t be forceful. Avoid telling her what she should do or what she'll be missing if she does not go out with you.\\nAllow her time to respond. Don’t jump the gun if she doesn’t text back in 3 minutes and then shoot her another text. Wait a few hours or more. Chances are, if she wants to go out with you, she’ll respond.\\n1-5. Avoid being vague about when and where you’ll go out or meet.\\nThe last thing she wants is to date a guy who is wishy-washy about what he wants. Be clear about when and where you'd suggest meeting. Feel free to ask her opinion, but if she defers to you don't worry about it. Pick where and when you want to go, and set the date.\\nSet a specific time.\\nSet a specific place.\\nLet her know where you'll be going and what you'll be doing so she'll be prepared.\\n2. Treating Her Appropriately\\n2-1. Treat her with respect.\\nMake sure that any interactions you have with her are respectful and not overbearing. Don't assume that women want to be the lesser party in the relationship and always defer to your judgement. Rather, assume that your relationship, if it goes forward, will be one of equals and one based on mutual respect.\\nNever insult her or be rude to her.\\nAlways consider her opinion and taste.\\nDon't make assumptions about her before you get to know her.\\n2-2. Avoid looking like a stalker, and know when to give up.\\nEven though you're really into her, you've got to avoid looking like a stalking. Don't obsess, and if you do, try to control it. If she's interested in you, she'll let you know. If she turns you down, then call it quits. \\nIf she rejects you, don't try to read in between the lines and interpret it as her playing \\\"hard to get.\\\"\\nIf she rejects you, don't go out of your way to \\\"bump\\\" into her randomly.\\nIf she rejects you, don't be rude. Just move on.\\nOnce she has ended communication with you, it's over.\\n2-3. Be honest about your feelings.\\nDon’t sell yourself as a “friend.” When asking her out, don’t approach her as if it is two friends doing something fun. If you want to date her in a romantic way, be clear about that. If you're not clear, you're simply luring her into a friendship with ulterior motives. This is something that will ultimately frustrate both of you.\\n3. Presenting Yourself in a Positive Light\\n3-1. Make sure you have positive body language.\\nWhen asking her out, the tone and language of your body should match up with your words. You want her to get the sense from how you’re carrying yourself that you are confident and want to get to know her a little better. Make sure you’re standing up straight, smiling, your shoulders are up, and your hands and arms are in a relaxed and non-defensive posture. There are several things you should avoid:\\nSlouching over.\\nCrossing your arms. This demonstrates that you’re in a defensive posture.\\nFidgeting with your hands. Don’t play with things in your hands, and don’t keep your hands in your pockets.\\n3-2. Have good hygiene.\\nIn order to give her a good impression about who you are, you've got to maintain good hygiene and look well-kept. If you typically don't maintain good hygiene, now is the time to step it up. There are a number of things you need to do:\\nShave or groom your beard.\\nShower before a date.\\nUse deodorant and cologne, if you want.\\nFloss and brush your teeth.\\nWash your clothes and only wear clean clothes.\\n3-3. Exude confidence.\\nWhen you ask her out, you need to make sure you seem ultra confident and sure of yourself. Try to think positively and focus on all of your good qualities in your own mind. There are pitfalls to this, though. Consider:\\nYou don’t want to come off as arrogant or full of yourself.\\nYou don’t want her to think that you think you’re too good for her.\\nYou don’t want to alienate her or her friends by bragging or boasting about yourself.\\n3-4. Act naturally and don't make a big deal out of asking her out.\\nDon't make it sound like asking her out is a matter of life and death. Avoid inserting a sense of urgency into the situation. Instead, act nonchalant, but interested. If you are tense and nervous when asking her out, she will feel just as tense and nervous. Make your invitation sound as if it was the most natural thing for you to do (and it should), and this will help her feel comfortable and at ease with the plan as well.\\n3-5. Resist the temptation to propose a grandiose first date.\\nProposing a grandiose date might give the wrong impression about who you are. While your first date should be memorable, you don’t want it to be the sort of thing that could intimidate her or could signal to her that you’re jumping the gun on a relationship that does not even exist yet. The purpose of the first date is to spend time together and focus on each other rather than some very interesting activity that would distract you from each other. Avoid:\\nAnything that requires traveling more than a half hour from your home city. You both should feel at ease and at home wherever it is.\\nEvents like concerts or music festivals. Such events will undermine the ability for both of you to communicate and form a bond.\\nEvents that the other person might not be interested in. Don’t propose a date to an exhibition on modern art unless you know that she’s also passionate about it.\\nDates at locations that will force you to continue spending time together even if things go badly. Public spaces and settings are better because they will give you exit options.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking a woman out on the first date can be a scary and potentially frightful thing sometimes. You don’t know if you’ll be rejected or if she’ll accept your invitation out. You’ll also be nervous about how you look, how you talk, and how you come across. Unfortunately, many men make a lot of common mistakes that blow their chance at a first date before they’re even on a date. Fortunately, though, there are some ways to increase your odds of getting her to accept your invitation instead of turning you down.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Communicating Your Interest\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her out in person, if you can.\", \"描述\": \"Asking her out in person is key to successfully getting a date. Although you may be shy or intimidated, you can’t let those feelings rule you. A date is a potentially intimate moment when two people get to know each other a little better. You should start it off that way.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Pick the right time and place to ask her out.\", \"描述\": \"If you’re going to ask her out in person, pick the right time and place. Picking the right time and place to ask her out is one of the most important things in getting a date. You don't want to ask at the wrong time or place, or you might blow your chance. There are a number of things you should consider when asking her out in person:\\nDon’t pick a time or place where she is distracted.\\nIf you’re in a bar or club with friends, try to find a moment when you're alone. Otherwise, some of your or her friends might invite themselves and make it a group date.\\nDon’t ask too early in your encounter. Ask toward the end of your encounter when you think you will part ways. Otherwise, you might seem too desperate.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Call her with confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Perhaps you got her phone number at a club, and want to contact her the day after and set up a date. This is alright, but make sure your phone call and texting is confident and pleasant. You’ve done the hard work of making first contact and getting her number, don’t blow it now.\\nStart off the conversation in a light way. Joke about something (appropriate). Try to get her laughing or relaxed.\\nDemonstrate your interest by asking her questions, but nothing too prying. Focus on light things.\\nInvite her out. Tell her you’d like to get to know her better. Based on personality, you can ask her to suggest something, or you can suggest something you think she likes.\\nIf she declines, she might tell you why. If it’s a scheduling issue, ask her when a good time is for her. If not, drop it and politely end the conversation – unless you want to pursue a friendship.\\nIf she accepts, try to end the conversation politely.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Text concisely.\", \"描述\": \"Texting might be a way to follow up with her after you met the night before. It is a noncommittal way to communicate that many people are comfortable with. However, there are a number of things you can do wrong that will blow your shot at getting a date.\\nConsider texting her the afternoon after you met her. By avoiding an immediate text, you're showing that you're thinking about her, but you're not obsessing.\\nStart off with a light or humorous comment that will relax her and remind her of who you are. For example: \\\"Hey! Remember that devastatingly handsome guy you met last night?\\\"\\nDon’t write a long message to her.\\nInstead, be clear, concise, and articulate what you want – a date with her. For example: \\\"I'd like to take you out so we can get to know each other better.\\\"\\nDon’t be forceful. Avoid telling her what she should do or what she'll be missing if she does not go out with you.\\nAllow her time to respond. Don’t jump the gun if she doesn’t text back in 3 minutes and then shoot her another text. Wait a few hours or more. Chances are, if she wants to go out with you, she’ll respond.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Avoid being vague about when and where you’ll go out or meet.\", \"描述\": \"The last thing she wants is to date a guy who is wishy-washy about what he wants. Be clear about when and where you'd suggest meeting. Feel free to ask her opinion, but if she defers to you don't worry about it. Pick where and when you want to go, and set the date.\\nSet a specific time.\\nSet a specific place.\\nLet her know where you'll be going and what you'll be doing so she'll be prepared.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Treating Her Appropriately\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Treat her with respect.\", \"描述\": \"Make sure that any interactions you have with her are respectful and not overbearing. Don't assume that women want to be the lesser party in the relationship and always defer to your judgement. Rather, assume that your relationship, if it goes forward, will be one of equals and one based on mutual respect.\\nNever insult her or be rude to her.\\nAlways consider her opinion and taste.\\nDon't make assumptions about her before you get to know her.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Avoid looking like a stalker, and know when to give up.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you're really into her, you've got to avoid looking like a stalking. Don't obsess, and if you do, try to control it. If she's interested in you, she'll let you know. If she turns you down, then call it quits. \\nIf she rejects you, don't try to read in between the lines and interpret it as her playing \\\"hard to get.\\\"\\nIf she rejects you, don't go out of your way to \\\"bump\\\" into her randomly.\\nIf she rejects you, don't be rude. Just move on.\\nOnce she has ended communication with you, it's over.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be honest about your feelings.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t sell yourself as a “friend.” When asking her out, don’t approach her as if it is two friends doing something fun. If you want to date her in a romantic way, be clear about that. If you're not clear, you're simply luring her into a friendship with ulterior motives. This is something that will ultimately frustrate both of you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Presenting Yourself in a Positive Light\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make sure you have positive body language.\", \"描述\": \"When asking her out, the tone and language of your body should match up with your words. You want her to get the sense from how you’re carrying yourself that you are confident and want to get to know her a little better. Make sure you’re standing up straight, smiling, your shoulders are up, and your hands and arms are in a relaxed and non-defensive posture. There are several things you should avoid:\\nSlouching over.\\nCrossing your arms. This demonstrates that you’re in a defensive posture.\\nFidgeting with your hands. Don’t play with things in your hands, and don’t keep your hands in your pockets.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Have good hygiene.\", \"描述\": \"In order to give her a good impression about who you are, you've got to maintain good hygiene and look well-kept. If you typically don't maintain good hygiene, now is the time to step it up. There are a number of things you need to do:\\nShave or groom your beard.\\nShower before a date.\\nUse deodorant and cologne, if you want.\\nFloss and brush your teeth.\\nWash your clothes and only wear clean clothes.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Exude confidence.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask her out, you need to make sure you seem ultra confident and sure of yourself. Try to think positively and focus on all of your good qualities in your own mind. There are pitfalls to this, though. Consider:\\nYou don’t want to come off as arrogant or full of yourself.\\nYou don’t want her to think that you think you’re too good for her.\\nYou don’t want to alienate her or her friends by bragging or boasting about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Act naturally and don't make a big deal out of asking her out.\", \"描述\": \"Don't make it sound like asking her out is a matter of life and death. Avoid inserting a sense of urgency into the situation. Instead, act nonchalant, but interested. If you are tense and nervous when asking her out, she will feel just as tense and nervous. Make your invitation sound as if it was the most natural thing for you to do (and it should), and this will help her feel comfortable and at ease with the plan as well.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Resist the temptation to propose a grandiose first date.\", \"描述\": \"Proposing a grandiose date might give the wrong impression about who you are. While your first date should be memorable, you don’t want it to be the sort of thing that could intimidate her or could signal to her that you’re jumping the gun on a relationship that does not even exist yet. The purpose of the first date is to spend time together and focus on each other rather than some very interesting activity that would distract you from each other. Avoid:\\nAnything that requires traveling more than a half hour from your home city. You both should feel at ease and at home wherever it is.\\nEvents like concerts or music festivals. Such events will undermine the ability for both of you to communicate and form a bond.\\nEvents that the other person might not be interested in. Don’t propose a date to an exhibition on modern art unless you know that she’s also passionate about it.\\nDates at locations that will force you to continue spending time together even if things go badly. Public spaces and settings are better because they will give you exit options.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,598 | How to Ask an Older Woman Out | 1. Establish a connection with her.
Find out if there’s chemistry between you before you ask her.
Don’t simply approach an older woman that you’re attracted to and ask her out without ever having spoken to her. Take some time to have a conversation to see if there’s a spark or a connection. If you ask her out too soon, you could blow your chance!
An older woman likely knows what she wants and doesn’t want. Be patient and allow things to develop naturally before you ask her out.
If you’ve already been friends with her for a while, then you know that you both have chemistry and a connection, which is a really great thing.
If you end up chatting over text, don't tell her your exact age—instead, give a vague answer, like "not old enough to be an awesome person." This creates a sense of mystery and forces her to get to know you for who you are.
2. Dress well when you plan to ask her.
Show her you care about your appearance.
You don’t have to put on a 3-piece suit, but you also shouldn’t be wearing sweatpants or dirty clothes. Put on a nice, clean outfit, wear some good-looking shoes, and fix your hair. Take some extra time to fix yourself up so you’re looking your best when you ask her out.
A nice pair of jeans or slacks and a clean button-down shirt are always a safe bet. Complement your look with some brown or black dress shoes rather than sneakers to take your look to the next level.
3. Imagine what it will be like when she says yes.
Envision success to help boost your confidence.
Picture in your head that she’s going to say yes whenever you ask her. Imagine how good it will feel and how happy you’ll be. Keep that image in your head as you prepare to ask her so you seem self-assured. Avoid the temptation to think about worst-case scenarios or mistakes you could potentially make. Envision success and make it a reality!
4. Plan out a date based on her interests.
Take her somewhere you know she’ll love.
Get to know more about her and what she’s passionate about and interested in. Tailor your date night to her interests so she’ll have fun and she’ll be more likely to say yes when you ask her. It can be fun and silly or it could be fancy and formal—it all depends on what she likes.
For example, if she’s a big John Mayer or Michael Bublé fan, you can try to get tickets to a concert if they’re coming to your area.
Don’t stress about it too much. Sometimes simplicity is best. For instance, if she loves Mediterranean food or poetry, you can make a reservation at a restaurant or look for poetry readings you can take her to.
5. Put your phone away.
Give her your full and undivided attention.
Even though it may be commonplace for people nowadays to be on their phones pretty much all of the time, an older woman may see it as immature. Plus, if you want to show her that you’re serious, give her your full attention and keep your phone in your pocket.
Put your phone on silent, too!
6. Be confident when you ask her.
Even if you don’t feel it, try your best to fake it.
It’s totally normal to feel nervous, but confidence is key. You also don’t want to come off as arrogant or cocky, so try to find a balance. Try to be as calm and polite as you can be, and if it helps, just pretend that you’re super relaxed and confident.
Start with a simple request to talk to her like, “Hey, do you have a quick second to talk?”
7. Compliment her appearance.
Tell her how good she looks so she knows you’re interested.
You don’t want to just approach her out of the blue and ask her out. Take some time to talk to her and say hello. Give her a nice compliment about the way she looks to start hinting that you’re attracted to her. That way when you ask it’ll seem like a natural progression.
For instance, you would approach her and say something like, “Hey, how are you?” After she responds you could try a compliment like, “You look really good,” or something more specific like, “I love the way you style your hair.”
8. Tell her you want to take her out.
You don’t have to call it a date.
You also don’t have to beat around the bush, either. Be direct and tell her about an event or a restaurant you’re going to. Then, ask if she’d like to come with you. But make it clear that your interest is romantic.
For example, you could say, “I’ve got 2 tickets to the concert on Friday, do you want to join me?” or “I’ve been hearing great things about that new Italian restaurant, let me take you out Friday night and we can see if it’s any good.”
9. Listen to her when she responds.
Let her know that you care about what she thinks.
She may be hesitant or she may ask you questions about your intentions. Don’t brush her off or get impatient. Pay attention to what she says or asks you and respond appropriately.
For instance, if she asks something like, “Oh, will it just be me and you at dinner?” You can say something calm and confident like, “Yes, I’d like to spend some time with just the two of us.”
10. Reassure her if she has reservations.
Tell her that you don’t care about the age difference if she’s concerned.
Because you’re younger than her, she may not be sure how she feels about going out with you at first. She might be worried about your intentions or about what other people may think. If that’s the case, tell her that you’re attracted to her and that you just want to spend some time with her. Show her that you’re genuine by being honest and taking the time to reassure her.
If she says something like, “I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m interested in dating right now.” You can say something like, “There’s no pressure. It’s just a fun night out. It’ll be a good time, I promise.”
If she’s worried about other people, you can say something like, “Who cares? It doesn’t bother me. We’re just having a good time.”
11. Don’t take it personally if she says no.
Respect her wishes and don’t dwell on it.
It may not feel good to get rejected, but you shouldn’t react angrily or get upset. Besides, it could just be the timing. She may not be interested now, but if you respect her wishes, things may change in the future, whereas if you storm off, it could ruin your chances forever.
If she tells you that she isn’t interested at all, then don’t try to push the issue or you could come off as overly aggressive or like you’re harassing her.
Keep it simple and say something like, “No problem at all. I completely understand.”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Establish a connection with her.\\nFind out if there’s chemistry between you before you ask her.\\nDon’t simply approach an older woman that you’re attracted to and ask her out without ever having spoken to her. Take some time to have a conversation to see if there’s a spark or a connection. If you ask her out too soon, you could blow your chance!\\nAn older woman likely knows what she wants and doesn’t want. Be patient and allow things to develop naturally before you ask her out.\\nIf you’ve already been friends with her for a while, then you know that you both have chemistry and a connection, which is a really great thing.\\nIf you end up chatting over text, don't tell her your exact age—instead, give a vague answer, like \\\"not old enough to be an awesome person.\\\" This creates a sense of mystery and forces her to get to know you for who you are.\\n2. Dress well when you plan to ask her.\\nShow her you care about your appearance.\\nYou don’t have to put on a 3-piece suit, but you also shouldn’t be wearing sweatpants or dirty clothes. Put on a nice, clean outfit, wear some good-looking shoes, and fix your hair. Take some extra time to fix yourself up so you’re looking your best when you ask her out.\\nA nice pair of jeans or slacks and a clean button-down shirt are always a safe bet. Complement your look with some brown or black dress shoes rather than sneakers to take your look to the next level.\\n3. Imagine what it will be like when she says yes.\\nEnvision success to help boost your confidence.\\nPicture in your head that she’s going to say yes whenever you ask her. Imagine how good it will feel and how happy you’ll be. Keep that image in your head as you prepare to ask her so you seem self-assured. Avoid the temptation to think about worst-case scenarios or mistakes you could potentially make. Envision success and make it a reality!\\n4. Plan out a date based on her interests.\\nTake her somewhere you know she’ll love.\\nGet to know more about her and what she’s passionate about and interested in. Tailor your date night to her interests so she’ll have fun and she’ll be more likely to say yes when you ask her. It can be fun and silly or it could be fancy and formal—it all depends on what she likes.\\nFor example, if she’s a big John Mayer or Michael Bublé fan, you can try to get tickets to a concert if they’re coming to your area.\\nDon’t stress about it too much. Sometimes simplicity is best. For instance, if she loves Mediterranean food or poetry, you can make a reservation at a restaurant or look for poetry readings you can take her to.\\n5. Put your phone away.\\nGive her your full and undivided attention.\\nEven though it may be commonplace for people nowadays to be on their phones pretty much all of the time, an older woman may see it as immature. Plus, if you want to show her that you’re serious, give her your full attention and keep your phone in your pocket.\\nPut your phone on silent, too!\\n6. Be confident when you ask her.\\nEven if you don’t feel it, try your best to fake it.\\nIt’s totally normal to feel nervous, but confidence is key. You also don’t want to come off as arrogant or cocky, so try to find a balance. Try to be as calm and polite as you can be, and if it helps, just pretend that you’re super relaxed and confident.\\nStart with a simple request to talk to her like, “Hey, do you have a quick second to talk?”\\n7. Compliment her appearance.\\nTell her how good she looks so she knows you’re interested.\\nYou don’t want to just approach her out of the blue and ask her out. Take some time to talk to her and say hello. Give her a nice compliment about the way she looks to start hinting that you’re attracted to her. That way when you ask it’ll seem like a natural progression.\\nFor instance, you would approach her and say something like, “Hey, how are you?” After she responds you could try a compliment like, “You look really good,” or something more specific like, “I love the way you style your hair.”\\n8. Tell her you want to take her out.\\nYou don’t have to call it a date.\\nYou also don’t have to beat around the bush, either. Be direct and tell her about an event or a restaurant you’re going to. Then, ask if she’d like to come with you. But make it clear that your interest is romantic.\\nFor example, you could say, “I’ve got 2 tickets to the concert on Friday, do you want to join me?” or “I’ve been hearing great things about that new Italian restaurant, let me take you out Friday night and we can see if it’s any good.”\\n9. Listen to her when she responds.\\nLet her know that you care about what she thinks.\\nShe may be hesitant or she may ask you questions about your intentions. Don’t brush her off or get impatient. Pay attention to what she says or asks you and respond appropriately.\\nFor instance, if she asks something like, “Oh, will it just be me and you at dinner?” You can say something calm and confident like, “Yes, I’d like to spend some time with just the two of us.”\\n10. Reassure her if she has reservations.\\nTell her that you don’t care about the age difference if she’s concerned.\\nBecause you’re younger than her, she may not be sure how she feels about going out with you at first. She might be worried about your intentions or about what other people may think. If that’s the case, tell her that you’re attracted to her and that you just want to spend some time with her. Show her that you’re genuine by being honest and taking the time to reassure her.\\nIf she says something like, “I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m interested in dating right now.” You can say something like, “There’s no pressure. It’s just a fun night out. It’ll be a good time, I promise.”\\nIf she’s worried about other people, you can say something like, “Who cares? It doesn’t bother me. We’re just having a good time.”\\n11. Don’t take it personally if she says no.\\nRespect her wishes and don’t dwell on it.\\nIt may not feel good to get rejected, but you shouldn’t react angrily or get upset. Besides, it could just be the timing. She may not be interested now, but if you respect her wishes, things may change in the future, whereas if you storm off, it could ruin your chances forever.\\nIf she tells you that she isn’t interested at all, then don’t try to push the issue or you could come off as overly aggressive or like you’re harassing her.\\nKeep it simple and say something like, “No problem at all. I completely understand.”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"They say that women age like fine wine, and if you’ve got the hots for an older woman, you may be wondering how you can win her over. Asking a woman out can be nerve-racking in general, and an older woman can be even more intimidating. If you want to ask her out, try to build a genuine connection with her first. Then, be upfront about what you’re looking for and ask her out with confidence! There are also a few tips and tricks you can utilize to increase your odds of success. To help you out, we’ve put together a helpful list you can use to ask an older woman out. Fingers crossed!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Establish a connection with her.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find out if there’s chemistry between you before you ask her.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t simply approach an older woman that you’re attracted to and ask her out without ever having spoken to her. Take some time to have a conversation to see if there’s a spark or a connection. If you ask her out too soon, you could blow your chance!\\nAn older woman likely knows what she wants and doesn’t want. Be patient and allow things to develop naturally before you ask her out.\\nIf you’ve already been friends with her for a while, then you know that you both have chemistry and a connection, which is a really great thing.\\nIf you end up chatting over text, don't tell her your exact age—instead, give a vague answer, like \\\"not old enough to be an awesome person.\\\" This creates a sense of mystery and forces her to get to know you for who you are.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dress well when you plan to ask her.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Show her you care about your appearance.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t have to put on a 3-piece suit, but you also shouldn’t be wearing sweatpants or dirty clothes. Put on a nice, clean outfit, wear some good-looking shoes, and fix your hair. Take some extra time to fix yourself up so you’re looking your best when you ask her out.\\nA nice pair of jeans or slacks and a clean button-down shirt are always a safe bet. Complement your look with some brown or black dress shoes rather than sneakers to take your look to the next level.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Imagine what it will be like when she says yes.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Envision success to help boost your confidence.\", \"描述\": \"Picture in your head that she’s going to say yes whenever you ask her. Imagine how good it will feel and how happy you’ll be. Keep that image in your head as you prepare to ask her so you seem self-assured. Avoid the temptation to think about worst-case scenarios or mistakes you could potentially make. Envision success and make it a reality!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Plan out a date based on her interests.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Take her somewhere you know she’ll love.\", \"描述\": \"Get to know more about her and what she’s passionate about and interested in. Tailor your date night to her interests so she’ll have fun and she’ll be more likely to say yes when you ask her. It can be fun and silly or it could be fancy and formal—it all depends on what she likes.\\nFor example, if she’s a big John Mayer or Michael Bublé fan, you can try to get tickets to a concert if they’re coming to your area.\\nDon’t stress about it too much. Sometimes simplicity is best. For instance, if she loves Mediterranean food or poetry, you can make a reservation at a restaurant or look for poetry readings you can take her to.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Put your phone away.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give her your full and undivided attention.\", \"描述\": \"Even though it may be commonplace for people nowadays to be on their phones pretty much all of the time, an older woman may see it as immature. Plus, if you want to show her that you’re serious, give her your full attention and keep your phone in your pocket.\\nPut your phone on silent, too!\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be confident when you ask her.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Even if you don’t feel it, try your best to fake it.\", \"描述\": \"It’s totally normal to feel nervous, but confidence is key. You also don’t want to come off as arrogant or cocky, so try to find a balance. Try to be as calm and polite as you can be, and if it helps, just pretend that you’re super relaxed and confident.\\nStart with a simple request to talk to her like, “Hey, do you have a quick second to talk?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Compliment her appearance.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell her how good she looks so she knows you’re interested.\", \"描述\": \"You don’t want to just approach her out of the blue and ask her out. Take some time to talk to her and say hello. Give her a nice compliment about the way she looks to start hinting that you’re attracted to her. That way when you ask it’ll seem like a natural progression.\\nFor instance, you would approach her and say something like, “Hey, how are you?” After she responds you could try a compliment like, “You look really good,” or something more specific like, “I love the way you style your hair.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Tell her you want to take her out.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You don’t have to call it a date.\", \"描述\": \"You also don’t have to beat around the bush, either. Be direct and tell her about an event or a restaurant you’re going to. Then, ask if she’d like to come with you. But make it clear that your interest is romantic.\\nFor example, you could say, “I’ve got 2 tickets to the concert on Friday, do you want to join me?” or “I’ve been hearing great things about that new Italian restaurant, let me take you out Friday night and we can see if it’s any good.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Listen to her when she responds.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let her know that you care about what she thinks.\", \"描述\": \"She may be hesitant or she may ask you questions about your intentions. Don’t brush her off or get impatient. Pay attention to what she says or asks you and respond appropriately.\\nFor instance, if she asks something like, “Oh, will it just be me and you at dinner?” You can say something calm and confident like, “Yes, I’d like to spend some time with just the two of us.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Reassure her if she has reservations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell her that you don’t care about the age difference if she’s concerned.\", \"描述\": \"Because you’re younger than her, she may not be sure how she feels about going out with you at first. She might be worried about your intentions or about what other people may think. If that’s the case, tell her that you’re attracted to her and that you just want to spend some time with her. Show her that you’re genuine by being honest and taking the time to reassure her.\\nIf she says something like, “I’m not sure. I don’t know if I’m interested in dating right now.” You can say something like, “There’s no pressure. It’s just a fun night out. It’ll be a good time, I promise.”\\nIf she’s worried about other people, you can say something like, “Who cares? It doesn’t bother me. We’re just having a good time.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"Don’t take it personally if she says no.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Respect her wishes and don’t dwell on it.\", \"描述\": \"It may not feel good to get rejected, but you shouldn’t react angrily or get upset. Besides, it could just be the timing. She may not be interested now, but if you respect her wishes, things may change in the future, whereas if you storm off, it could ruin your chances forever.\\nIf she tells you that she isn’t interested at all, then don’t try to push the issue or you could come off as overly aggressive or like you’re harassing her.\\nKeep it simple and say something like, “No problem at all. I completely understand.”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,599 | How to Ask eBay to Step in | 1. Using the Automated System
1-1. Hover over "My eBay" and click on the "Purchase History" link.
Once you get to your purchase history, scroll through the items you've bought and locate the order that you want to contact eBay about.
1-2. Click "More Options" link on the right side of the page.
Click the "More Options" link with the downward arrow on the right side of your item. This will bring up a drop-down screen with a variety of options.
1-3. Select "Ask eBay to step in" from the drop-down menu.
You'll then be brought to a page where you can fill out additional details about your issue with the seller.
According to eBay's policy, you must reach out to the seller before requesting a refund. If you don't see this option, it's because you need to try to contact the seller first.
1-4. Wait 48 hours for a response.
eBay will take up to two full business days to respond to your request. After reviewing your case and the item that you purchased, eBay will either give you a refund for the item, or give you more details about your purchase and additional steps to follow.
2. Contacting eBay in Other Ways
2-1. Call them.
You can also open up a ticket or talk about a current case with a representative by dialing 866-540-3229. Once you reach the number, select the appropriate prompts to be directed to the correct department.
It will be helpful to have the order number and details about the order on hand when calling them.
eBay representatives are available Monday through Sunday from 5:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. PT.
2-2. Open up a ticket directly in their resolution center.
Go to http://res.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ResolutionCenter and directly input the issue you're having with the buyer there. After you click "Continue," you'll be prompted to login and will be able to open an official refund request for your item.
2-3. Contact eBay through social media.
If you are having issues getting in contact with eBay and there is an issue with your ticket, you can contact them through social media. Visit https://www.facebook.com/eBay/ or https://twitter.com/askebay and send them a message.
3. Checking to See if eBay Needs to Step In
3-1. Find the estimated delivery date on the package.
Hover over "My eBay" on the top right corner of the home page. This will bring up a drop-down menu. Select "Purchase History." Find the item that you are waiting for and look at the right of the item. It should have the estimated delivery date as well as a tracking number, if one was provided.
If you haven't received your item by the estimated delivery date, you should contact the seller first to get more details.
3-2. Track your package.
If you were given a tracking number, you can track your item and see when it should arrive at your house. If you notice the package going to the wrong address, you can contact the seller before asking eBay to step in.
Sometimes sellers will be able to redirect the package to the correct address.
You can also find the shipping status on your purchase by using the item's tracking number.
3-3. Examine the item when you receive it.
If you receive your item and it's different than what was advertised or broken in any way, you can also ask eBay to step in. When you first get your item, make sure to examine it carefully to ensure that it's what you want.
You must reach out to the seller first before asking for eBay to step in.
3-4. Make sure that you make any refund requests within 30 days after delivery.
eBay's money back guarantee is only valid 30 days after receiving an item. Make sure that you contact eBay within this 30-day window, or they may not be able to help you.
4. Contacting the Seller
4-1. Find the item in your purchase history.
Hover over "My eBay" in the top right corner and click "Purchase History." Find the item in question and then find the link on the right that says "More Actions." From here, you can select "Contact Seller" to go to the seller feedback page.
4-2. Select the second option if you never received your item.
If you've waited but never received your item, you should select the second option, "I didn't receive my item." Doing this will bring up the estimated delivery date, as well as a link to request a refund.
4-3. Click the "request a refund or more information" link.
Clicking this link will bring up a page where you can request a monetary refund or request to get your item. Select the option that you would prefer and click "Send Request" to open up an official request.
You can also access this page under the "More Options" link on the righthand side of the page.
4-4. Write your message to the seller.
Explain why you want a refund to your seller in the message. Sometimes, a seller can make a mistake, or there may be a breakdown in communication. In many cases, a vendor will try to remedy the problem before you have to request eBay to step in.
4-5. Select the first option to ask a question to the seller.
To contact the vendor, choose the option that reads "I have a question about using my item or I want to send the seller a message." From there, click the blue rectangular button on the bottom left of the page that says "Contact the Seller." This will bring you to the next page where you can fill out a message and open up a request to the seller.
4-6. Wait three business days after contacting the seller.
Try to resolve the issue with the seller in the upcoming business days. If your issue still isn't resolved, or the seller is not responding, you can now ask eBay to step in.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Using the Automated System\\n1-1. Hover over \\\"My eBay\\\" and click on the \\\"Purchase History\\\" link.\\nOnce you get to your purchase history, scroll through the items you've bought and locate the order that you want to contact eBay about.\\n1-2. Click \\\"More Options\\\" link on the right side of the page.\\nClick the \\\"More Options\\\" link with the downward arrow on the right side of your item. This will bring up a drop-down screen with a variety of options.\\n1-3. Select \\\"Ask eBay to step in\\\" from the drop-down menu.\\nYou'll then be brought to a page where you can fill out additional details about your issue with the seller.\\nAccording to eBay's policy, you must reach out to the seller before requesting a refund. If you don't see this option, it's because you need to try to contact the seller first.\\n1-4. Wait 48 hours for a response.\\neBay will take up to two full business days to respond to your request. After reviewing your case and the item that you purchased, eBay will either give you a refund for the item, or give you more details about your purchase and additional steps to follow.\\n2. Contacting eBay in Other Ways\\n2-1. Call them.\\nYou can also open up a ticket or talk about a current case with a representative by dialing 866-540-3229. Once you reach the number, select the appropriate prompts to be directed to the correct department.\\nIt will be helpful to have the order number and details about the order on hand when calling them.\\neBay representatives are available Monday through Sunday from 5:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. PT.\\n2-2. Open up a ticket directly in their resolution center.\\nGo to http://res.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ResolutionCenter and directly input the issue you're having with the buyer there. After you click \\\"Continue,\\\" you'll be prompted to login and will be able to open an official refund request for your item.\\n2-3. Contact eBay through social media.\\nIf you are having issues getting in contact with eBay and there is an issue with your ticket, you can contact them through social media. Visit https://www.facebook.com/eBay/ or https://twitter.com/askebay and send them a message.\\n3. Checking to See if eBay Needs to Step In\\n3-1. Find the estimated delivery date on the package.\\nHover over \\\"My eBay\\\" on the top right corner of the home page. This will bring up a drop-down menu. Select \\\"Purchase History.\\\" Find the item that you are waiting for and look at the right of the item. It should have the estimated delivery date as well as a tracking number, if one was provided.\\nIf you haven't received your item by the estimated delivery date, you should contact the seller first to get more details.\\n3-2. Track your package.\\nIf you were given a tracking number, you can track your item and see when it should arrive at your house. If you notice the package going to the wrong address, you can contact the seller before asking eBay to step in.\\nSometimes sellers will be able to redirect the package to the correct address.\\nYou can also find the shipping status on your purchase by using the item's tracking number.\\n3-3. Examine the item when you receive it.\\nIf you receive your item and it's different than what was advertised or broken in any way, you can also ask eBay to step in. When you first get your item, make sure to examine it carefully to ensure that it's what you want. \\nYou must reach out to the seller first before asking for eBay to step in.\\n3-4. Make sure that you make any refund requests within 30 days after delivery.\\neBay's money back guarantee is only valid 30 days after receiving an item. Make sure that you contact eBay within this 30-day window, or they may not be able to help you.\\n4. Contacting the Seller\\n4-1. Find the item in your purchase history.\\nHover over \\\"My eBay\\\" in the top right corner and click \\\"Purchase History.\\\" Find the item in question and then find the link on the right that says \\\"More Actions.\\\" From here, you can select \\\"Contact Seller\\\" to go to the seller feedback page.\\n4-2. Select the second option if you never received your item.\\nIf you've waited but never received your item, you should select the second option, \\\"I didn't receive my item.\\\" Doing this will bring up the estimated delivery date, as well as a link to request a refund.\\n4-3. Click the \\\"request a refund or more information\\\" link.\\nClicking this link will bring up a page where you can request a monetary refund or request to get your item. Select the option that you would prefer and click \\\"Send Request\\\" to open up an official request.\\nYou can also access this page under the \\\"More Options\\\" link on the righthand side of the page.\\n4-4. Write your message to the seller.\\nExplain why you want a refund to your seller in the message. Sometimes, a seller can make a mistake, or there may be a breakdown in communication. In many cases, a vendor will try to remedy the problem before you have to request eBay to step in.\\n4-5. Select the first option to ask a question to the seller.\\nTo contact the vendor, choose the option that reads \\\"I have a question about using my item or I want to send the seller a message.\\\" From there, click the blue rectangular button on the bottom left of the page that says \\\"Contact the Seller.\\\" This will bring you to the next page where you can fill out a message and open up a request to the seller.\\n4-6. Wait three business days after contacting the seller.\\nTry to resolve the issue with the seller in the upcoming business days. If your issue still isn't resolved, or the seller is not responding, you can now ask eBay to step in.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"While purchasing goods from reputable sellers on eBay usually goes smoothly, there is a chance that an order or item could be messed up. Luckily, because of their money back guarantee, eBay can often resolve your issue and give you a refund. If you try to contact a seller about an undelivered or defective product and they are uncooperative or unresponsive, you may need eBay to step in. After you attempt to contact the seller, you can take the proper steps online or by phone to have eBay resolve your issue.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Using the Automated System\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Hover over \\\"My eBay\\\" and click on the \\\"Purchase History\\\" link.\", \"描述\": \"Once you get to your purchase history, scroll through the items you've bought and locate the order that you want to contact eBay about.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click \\\"More Options\\\" link on the right side of the page.\", \"描述\": \"Click the \\\"More Options\\\" link with the downward arrow on the right side of your item. This will bring up a drop-down screen with a variety of options.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Select \\\"Ask eBay to step in\\\" from the drop-down menu.\", \"描述\": \"You'll then be brought to a page where you can fill out additional details about your issue with the seller.\\nAccording to eBay's policy, you must reach out to the seller before requesting a refund. If you don't see this option, it's because you need to try to contact the seller first.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Wait 48 hours for a response.\", \"描述\": \"eBay will take up to two full business days to respond to your request. After reviewing your case and the item that you purchased, eBay will either give you a refund for the item, or give you more details about your purchase and additional steps to follow.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Contacting eBay in Other Ways\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Call them.\", \"描述\": \"You can also open up a ticket or talk about a current case with a representative by dialing 866-540-3229. Once you reach the number, select the appropriate prompts to be directed to the correct department.\\nIt will be helpful to have the order number and details about the order on hand when calling them.\\neBay representatives are available Monday through Sunday from 5:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. PT.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Open up a ticket directly in their resolution center.\", \"描述\": \"Go to http://res.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ResolutionCenter and directly input the issue you're having with the buyer there. After you click \\\"Continue,\\\" you'll be prompted to login and will be able to open an official refund request for your item.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Contact eBay through social media.\", \"描述\": \"If you are having issues getting in contact with eBay and there is an issue with your ticket, you can contact them through social media. Visit https://www.facebook.com/eBay/ or https://twitter.com/askebay and send them a message.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Checking to See if eBay Needs to Step In\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the estimated delivery date on the package.\", \"描述\": \"Hover over \\\"My eBay\\\" on the top right corner of the home page. This will bring up a drop-down menu. Select \\\"Purchase History.\\\" Find the item that you are waiting for and look at the right of the item. It should have the estimated delivery date as well as a tracking number, if one was provided.\\nIf you haven't received your item by the estimated delivery date, you should contact the seller first to get more details.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Track your package.\", \"描述\": \"If you were given a tracking number, you can track your item and see when it should arrive at your house. If you notice the package going to the wrong address, you can contact the seller before asking eBay to step in.\\nSometimes sellers will be able to redirect the package to the correct address.\\nYou can also find the shipping status on your purchase by using the item's tracking number.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Examine the item when you receive it.\", \"描述\": \"If you receive your item and it's different than what was advertised or broken in any way, you can also ask eBay to step in. When you first get your item, make sure to examine it carefully to ensure that it's what you want. \\nYou must reach out to the seller first before asking for eBay to step in.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Make sure that you make any refund requests within 30 days after delivery.\", \"描述\": \"eBay's money back guarantee is only valid 30 days after receiving an item. Make sure that you contact eBay within this 30-day window, or they may not be able to help you.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Contacting the Seller\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Find the item in your purchase history.\", \"描述\": \"Hover over \\\"My eBay\\\" in the top right corner and click \\\"Purchase History.\\\" Find the item in question and then find the link on the right that says \\\"More Actions.\\\" From here, you can select \\\"Contact Seller\\\" to go to the seller feedback page.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Select the second option if you never received your item.\", \"描述\": \"If you've waited but never received your item, you should select the second option, \\\"I didn't receive my item.\\\" Doing this will bring up the estimated delivery date, as well as a link to request a refund.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Click the \\\"request a refund or more information\\\" link.\", \"描述\": \"Clicking this link will bring up a page where you can request a monetary refund or request to get your item. Select the option that you would prefer and click \\\"Send Request\\\" to open up an official request.\\nYou can also access this page under the \\\"More Options\\\" link on the righthand side of the page.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Write your message to the seller.\", \"描述\": \"Explain why you want a refund to your seller in the message. Sometimes, a seller can make a mistake, or there may be a breakdown in communication. In many cases, a vendor will try to remedy the problem before you have to request eBay to step in.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Select the first option to ask a question to the seller.\", \"描述\": \"To contact the vendor, choose the option that reads \\\"I have a question about using my item or I want to send the seller a message.\\\" From there, click the blue rectangular button on the bottom left of the page that says \\\"Contact the Seller.\\\" This will bring you to the next page where you can fill out a message and open up a request to the seller.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Wait three business days after contacting the seller.\", \"描述\": \"Try to resolve the issue with the seller in the upcoming business days. If your issue still isn't resolved, or the seller is not responding, you can now ask eBay to step in.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,600 | How to Ask for Contributions for a Retirement Gift | 1. Check your company’s rules on gifts.
Government and military workspaces tend to be pretty rigid when it comes to gifting.
Many of these places do allow retirement gifts, but they have special requirements on how much you can request from your co-workers. To be safe, double-check your employee handbook or chat with your HR representative before you get started on any gift planning.
For instance, some places cap employee donations at around $10 per person, and limit the total value of the gift to around $300.
2. Choose a gift for the retiree.
Know how much the gift will cost before you start asking for donations.
You’ll have an easier time getting contributions if your co-workers have a clear understanding of what their money is going toward. Settle on an exact gift beforehand, so you have a rough idea of how much you’ll need to collect from each person. Try to think about how much your co-workers will realistically be able to donate, as well as the number of people who might donate. These are both important factors that can help you decide on a gift. Here are a few gift ideas to get you started:
New luggage
Theater or concert tickets
Vintage goods (like wine or cigars)
Lessons for a new hobby
3. Chat with the party-planning committee if you have one.
This committee may help you organize the donation requests.
This group may already have some helpful fundraising ideas that help will make your gift money collecting way easier. Set aside some time to meet with the leader or head of this committee so you can figure out a plan of attack.
Feel free to skip this step if your workplace doesn’t have this type of committee.
4. Ask in person for a more direct approach.
People have a harder time saying no if you ask face-to-face.
Asking for money directly may seem a bit awkward—but that’s precisely why it works so well! When put on the spot, your co-workers may have a harder time saying “no” in the moment, and may be more willing to toss a few bucks into the collection pot. Try to be as specific as possible during the conversation, since your co-workers may not feel like donating to a vague, unnamed gift. You might say:
“We’re thinking about getting Jamie a new coffeemaker as a retirement gift. Would you be okay with donating about $10?”
“We’re getting Angelica some tickets to her favorite baseball team as a farewell present. There’s totally no obligation, but I just wanted to check in and see if you’d like to contribute.”
“Since Caleb is retiring, we’re getting him a bottle of his favorite wine as a going-away present. Would you be okay with contributing a few bucks toward the gift?”
Keep in mind that asking in person might not be realistic if you work at a really big workspace.
5. Draft an email as a more subtle option.
An email gets the message across without having to ask in person.
Feel free to make an anonymous email account dedicated specifically to the retirement gift—this way, you aren’t personally connected or associated with the donations. Plus, email makes it really easy to connect with lots of co-workers at once. You could write:
“Our friend and colleague Markus is retiring next month. Although we’re sad to see him go, we’re excited to present him with a signed baseball from his favorite pro player. While there’s no obligation to contribute, $5 and $10 donations would be very appreciated.”
“We’re planning on buying Jennifer a gift card to her favorite restaurant to celebrate her upcoming retirement. To keep it a surprise, please drop off your donation in Kelly’s mailbox.”
You might make an email account called “[email protected]” with an account name like “Retirement Gift Collection.”
6. Provide a deadline.
Set a concrete timetable so you have time to get the gift.
Don’t make your co-workers feel like they have to give you money on the spot, but don’t leave things too open-ended, either. Let everyone know when you’ll need the donations by, so you have plenty of time to pick up and wrap the gift. Say something like:
“It would be great if you could send in your contributions by the 29th. Feel free to send the money online or leave a labeled envelope on my desk.”
“I’m hoping to pick up the gift at the end of the month, so it’d be great if I could get your donations by the 15th.”
“I know that this is a busy time of year, but I’d really appreciate it if you could send in your contributions by the end of the week.”
7. Offer collateral for bigger gift donations.
Give your co-workers an incentive to contribute to a bigger gift.
Try to sweeten the pot a bit—your co-workers might be motivated to donate more money if there’s something in it for them. If you’re asking for a big contribution, like $100, you could:
Offer to buy lunch for all your co-workers
Bring in coffee for everyone
Treat everyone to donuts
8. Be lenient and understanding.
Stress that it’s okay if people can’t donate.
Let everyone know that, while all donations are appreciated, they aren’t mandatory by any stretch. Try to empathize with their circumstances, and let them know that there are no hard feelings if someone chooses not to donate. You might say:
“All donations are incredibly appreciated, but I totally understand if you don’t feel like contributing.”
“I realize that it’s been a pretty tough year for most of us, so I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable donating right now.”
“Any and all contributions are appreciated, even if you can only spare a few dollars at the moment.”
9. Send out a reminder a week before the deadline.
Check in with people who haven’t sent in any money yet.
A week after asking for contributions, chat with or email co-workers that you haven’t gotten any money from. Don’t name anyone specifically if you’re sending out a group email—just offer a quick, friendly reminder about when you’d like the money by. Try saying:
“Hello everyone! Just wanted to remind you all that contributions for Andy’s retirement gift are due in about a week. Feel free to drop your money in the collection box, or leave it in an envelope on my desk.”
“Hey guys! Quick heads-up that I’ll be needing contributions for Sam’s gift by this Friday since I’ll be buying the gift over the weekend. Thanks so much!”
“Hi Erica! I’m so sorry to bother you about this again, but I wanted to see if you’d still like to donate to Martha’s retirement gift.”
10. Check in with other employees if you don’t raise enough.
Some people might be willing to chip in a little extra.
Asking for gift contributions definitely isn’t an exact science, and it’s perfectly understandable if you come up a bit short for the gift. If this happens, chat with a few reliable co-workers to ask for a little extra money without going into too much detail. You could say:
“Hey Jake! I’m so sorry to bug you, but we came up about $15 short for Zoe’s retirement gift. Would you mind contributing a few more dollars?”
“Hi Kayla! We didn’t quite reach our fundraising goal for Patrick’s retirement present. Would you be comfortable chipping in a few more bucks?”
“I’m so sorry to bother you, but we didn’t quite collect enough money for Jason’s retirement gift. If it’s not too much to ask, would you be able to spare a couple more dollars?”
Tips
You can always organize the retirement gift over text, but this only works well if you already know everyone’s phone numbers. Plus, this type of fundraising won’t be very anonymous.[13]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:03",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Check your company’s rules on gifts.\\nGovernment and military workspaces tend to be pretty rigid when it comes to gifting.\\nMany of these places do allow retirement gifts, but they have special requirements on how much you can request from your co-workers. To be safe, double-check your employee handbook or chat with your HR representative before you get started on any gift planning.\\nFor instance, some places cap employee donations at around $10 per person, and limit the total value of the gift to around $300.\\n2. Choose a gift for the retiree.\\nKnow how much the gift will cost before you start asking for donations.\\nYou’ll have an easier time getting contributions if your co-workers have a clear understanding of what their money is going toward. Settle on an exact gift beforehand, so you have a rough idea of how much you’ll need to collect from each person. Try to think about how much your co-workers will realistically be able to donate, as well as the number of people who might donate. These are both important factors that can help you decide on a gift. Here are a few gift ideas to get you started:\\nNew luggage\\nTheater or concert tickets\\nVintage goods (like wine or cigars)\\nLessons for a new hobby\\n3. Chat with the party-planning committee if you have one.\\nThis committee may help you organize the donation requests.\\nThis group may already have some helpful fundraising ideas that help will make your gift money collecting way easier. Set aside some time to meet with the leader or head of this committee so you can figure out a plan of attack.\\nFeel free to skip this step if your workplace doesn’t have this type of committee.\\n4. Ask in person for a more direct approach.\\nPeople have a harder time saying no if you ask face-to-face.\\nAsking for money directly may seem a bit awkward—but that’s precisely why it works so well! When put on the spot, your co-workers may have a harder time saying “no” in the moment, and may be more willing to toss a few bucks into the collection pot. Try to be as specific as possible during the conversation, since your co-workers may not feel like donating to a vague, unnamed gift. You might say:\\n“We’re thinking about getting Jamie a new coffeemaker as a retirement gift. Would you be okay with donating about $10?”\\n“We’re getting Angelica some tickets to her favorite baseball team as a farewell present. There’s totally no obligation, but I just wanted to check in and see if you’d like to contribute.”\\n“Since Caleb is retiring, we’re getting him a bottle of his favorite wine as a going-away present. Would you be okay with contributing a few bucks toward the gift?”\\nKeep in mind that asking in person might not be realistic if you work at a really big workspace.\\n5. Draft an email as a more subtle option.\\nAn email gets the message across without having to ask in person.\\nFeel free to make an anonymous email account dedicated specifically to the retirement gift—this way, you aren’t personally connected or associated with the donations. Plus, email makes it really easy to connect with lots of co-workers at once. You could write:\\n“Our friend and colleague Markus is retiring next month. Although we’re sad to see him go, we’re excited to present him with a signed baseball from his favorite pro player. While there’s no obligation to contribute, $5 and $10 donations would be very appreciated.”\\n“We’re planning on buying Jennifer a gift card to her favorite restaurant to celebrate her upcoming retirement. To keep it a surprise, please drop off your donation in Kelly’s mailbox.”\\nYou might make an email account called “[email protected]” with an account name like “Retirement Gift Collection.”\\n6. Provide a deadline.\\nSet a concrete timetable so you have time to get the gift.\\nDon’t make your co-workers feel like they have to give you money on the spot, but don’t leave things too open-ended, either. Let everyone know when you’ll need the donations by, so you have plenty of time to pick up and wrap the gift. Say something like:\\n“It would be great if you could send in your contributions by the 29th. Feel free to send the money online or leave a labeled envelope on my desk.”\\n“I’m hoping to pick up the gift at the end of the month, so it’d be great if I could get your donations by the 15th.”\\n“I know that this is a busy time of year, but I’d really appreciate it if you could send in your contributions by the end of the week.”\\n7. Offer collateral for bigger gift donations.\\nGive your co-workers an incentive to contribute to a bigger gift.\\nTry to sweeten the pot a bit—your co-workers might be motivated to donate more money if there’s something in it for them. If you’re asking for a big contribution, like $100, you could:\\nOffer to buy lunch for all your co-workers\\nBring in coffee for everyone\\nTreat everyone to donuts\\n8. Be lenient and understanding.\\nStress that it’s okay if people can’t donate.\\nLet everyone know that, while all donations are appreciated, they aren’t mandatory by any stretch. Try to empathize with their circumstances, and let them know that there are no hard feelings if someone chooses not to donate. You might say:\\n“All donations are incredibly appreciated, but I totally understand if you don’t feel like contributing.”\\n“I realize that it’s been a pretty tough year for most of us, so I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable donating right now.”\\n“Any and all contributions are appreciated, even if you can only spare a few dollars at the moment.”\\n9. Send out a reminder a week before the deadline.\\nCheck in with people who haven’t sent in any money yet.\\nA week after asking for contributions, chat with or email co-workers that you haven’t gotten any money from. Don’t name anyone specifically if you’re sending out a group email—just offer a quick, friendly reminder about when you’d like the money by. Try saying:\\n“Hello everyone! Just wanted to remind you all that contributions for Andy’s retirement gift are due in about a week. Feel free to drop your money in the collection box, or leave it in an envelope on my desk.”\\n“Hey guys! Quick heads-up that I’ll be needing contributions for Sam’s gift by this Friday since I’ll be buying the gift over the weekend. Thanks so much!”\\n“Hi Erica! I’m so sorry to bother you about this again, but I wanted to see if you’d still like to donate to Martha’s retirement gift.”\\n10. Check in with other employees if you don’t raise enough.\\nSome people might be willing to chip in a little extra.\\nAsking for gift contributions definitely isn’t an exact science, and it’s perfectly understandable if you come up a bit short for the gift. If this happens, chat with a few reliable co-workers to ask for a little extra money without going into too much detail. You could say:\\n“Hey Jake! I’m so sorry to bug you, but we came up about $15 short for Zoe’s retirement gift. Would you mind contributing a few more dollars?”\\n“Hi Kayla! We didn’t quite reach our fundraising goal for Patrick’s retirement present. Would you be comfortable chipping in a few more bucks?”\\n“I’m so sorry to bother you, but we didn’t quite collect enough money for Jason’s retirement gift. If it’s not too much to ask, would you be able to spare a couple more dollars?”\\nTips\\nYou can always organize the retirement gift over text, but this only works well if you already know everyone’s phone numbers. Plus, this type of fundraising won’t be very anonymous.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Retirement gifts are a super great way to show your support for a departing co-worker or boss. But how do you get the money together for an awesome gift without pestering everyone at the workplace? Don’t worry—there are plenty of polite, tactful ways to make your request without coming off the wrong way. Keep reading for plenty of tips and tricks to help you get started!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check your company’s rules on gifts.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Government and military workspaces tend to be pretty rigid when it comes to gifting.\", \"描述\": \"Many of these places do allow retirement gifts, but they have special requirements on how much you can request from your co-workers. To be safe, double-check your employee handbook or chat with your HR representative before you get started on any gift planning.\\nFor instance, some places cap employee donations at around $10 per person, and limit the total value of the gift to around $300.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Choose a gift for the retiree.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Know how much the gift will cost before you start asking for donations.\", \"描述\": \"You’ll have an easier time getting contributions if your co-workers have a clear understanding of what their money is going toward. Settle on an exact gift beforehand, so you have a rough idea of how much you’ll need to collect from each person. Try to think about how much your co-workers will realistically be able to donate, as well as the number of people who might donate. These are both important factors that can help you decide on a gift. Here are a few gift ideas to get you started:\\nNew luggage\\nTheater or concert tickets\\nVintage goods (like wine or cigars)\\nLessons for a new hobby\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Chat with the party-planning committee if you have one.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This committee may help you organize the donation requests.\", \"描述\": \"This group may already have some helpful fundraising ideas that help will make your gift money collecting way easier. Set aside some time to meet with the leader or head of this committee so you can figure out a plan of attack.\\nFeel free to skip this step if your workplace doesn’t have this type of committee.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask in person for a more direct approach.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"People have a harder time saying no if you ask face-to-face.\", \"描述\": \"Asking for money directly may seem a bit awkward—but that’s precisely why it works so well! When put on the spot, your co-workers may have a harder time saying “no” in the moment, and may be more willing to toss a few bucks into the collection pot. Try to be as specific as possible during the conversation, since your co-workers may not feel like donating to a vague, unnamed gift. You might say:\\n“We’re thinking about getting Jamie a new coffeemaker as a retirement gift. Would you be okay with donating about $10?”\\n“We’re getting Angelica some tickets to her favorite baseball team as a farewell present. There’s totally no obligation, but I just wanted to check in and see if you’d like to contribute.”\\n“Since Caleb is retiring, we’re getting him a bottle of his favorite wine as a going-away present. Would you be okay with contributing a few bucks toward the gift?”\\nKeep in mind that asking in person might not be realistic if you work at a really big workspace.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Draft an email as a more subtle option.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"An email gets the message across without having to ask in person.\", \"描述\": \"Feel free to make an anonymous email account dedicated specifically to the retirement gift—this way, you aren’t personally connected or associated with the donations. Plus, email makes it really easy to connect with lots of co-workers at once. You could write:\\n“Our friend and colleague Markus is retiring next month. Although we’re sad to see him go, we’re excited to present him with a signed baseball from his favorite pro player. While there’s no obligation to contribute, $5 and $10 donations would be very appreciated.”\\n“We’re planning on buying Jennifer a gift card to her favorite restaurant to celebrate her upcoming retirement. To keep it a surprise, please drop off your donation in Kelly’s mailbox.”\\nYou might make an email account called “[email protected]” with an account name like “Retirement Gift Collection.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Provide a deadline.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Set a concrete timetable so you have time to get the gift.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t make your co-workers feel like they have to give you money on the spot, but don’t leave things too open-ended, either. Let everyone know when you’ll need the donations by, so you have plenty of time to pick up and wrap the gift. Say something like:\\n“It would be great if you could send in your contributions by the 29th. Feel free to send the money online or leave a labeled envelope on my desk.”\\n“I’m hoping to pick up the gift at the end of the month, so it’d be great if I could get your donations by the 15th.”\\n“I know that this is a busy time of year, but I’d really appreciate it if you could send in your contributions by the end of the week.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Offer collateral for bigger gift donations.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give your co-workers an incentive to contribute to a bigger gift.\", \"描述\": \"Try to sweeten the pot a bit—your co-workers might be motivated to donate more money if there’s something in it for them. If you’re asking for a big contribution, like $100, you could:\\nOffer to buy lunch for all your co-workers\\nBring in coffee for everyone\\nTreat everyone to donuts\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Be lenient and understanding.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Stress that it’s okay if people can’t donate.\", \"描述\": \"Let everyone know that, while all donations are appreciated, they aren’t mandatory by any stretch. Try to empathize with their circumstances, and let them know that there are no hard feelings if someone chooses not to donate. You might say:\\n“All donations are incredibly appreciated, but I totally understand if you don’t feel like contributing.”\\n“I realize that it’s been a pretty tough year for most of us, so I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable donating right now.”\\n“Any and all contributions are appreciated, even if you can only spare a few dollars at the moment.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Send out a reminder a week before the deadline.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Check in with people who haven’t sent in any money yet.\", \"描述\": \"A week after asking for contributions, chat with or email co-workers that you haven’t gotten any money from. Don’t name anyone specifically if you’re sending out a group email—just offer a quick, friendly reminder about when you’d like the money by. Try saying:\\n“Hello everyone! Just wanted to remind you all that contributions for Andy’s retirement gift are due in about a week. Feel free to drop your money in the collection box, or leave it in an envelope on my desk.”\\n“Hey guys! Quick heads-up that I’ll be needing contributions for Sam’s gift by this Friday since I’ll be buying the gift over the weekend. Thanks so much!”\\n“Hi Erica! I’m so sorry to bother you about this again, but I wanted to see if you’d still like to donate to Martha’s retirement gift.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Check in with other employees if you don’t raise enough.\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Some people might be willing to chip in a little extra.\", \"描述\": \"Asking for gift contributions definitely isn’t an exact science, and it’s perfectly understandable if you come up a bit short for the gift. If this happens, chat with a few reliable co-workers to ask for a little extra money without going into too much detail. You could say:\\n“Hey Jake! I’m so sorry to bug you, but we came up about $15 short for Zoe’s retirement gift. Would you mind contributing a few more dollars?”\\n“Hi Kayla! We didn’t quite reach our fundraising goal for Patrick’s retirement present. Would you be comfortable chipping in a few more bucks?”\\n“I’m so sorry to bother you, but we didn’t quite collect enough money for Jason’s retirement gift. If it’s not too much to ask, would you be able to spare a couple more dollars?”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"You can always organize the retirement gift over text, but this only works well if you already know everyone’s phone numbers. Plus, this type of fundraising won’t be very anonymous.[13]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,601 | Here’s How to Ask for Feedback When You’ve Been Turn Down for a Job | 1. When to Ask for Feedback
Reply to rejection notices within 1 business day.
If you receive an email, you should reply within 24 hours. Likewise, if you a get a voicemail, call back within 24 hours during their regular workings hours (in other words, usually not on a weekend or holiday). The only exception is if you happen to answer the original phone call. In that case, you should ask for feedback during the call.
Always remain upbeat and professional.
Thank them for interviewing you and taking the time to notify you of their decision.
Express disappointment in a positive way. This reaffirms your appreciation while showing that you respect their decision.
Once you’ve done the above, you can request feedback on your interview. Keep reading to learn what questions to ask, as well as what to avoid.
2. Asking for Feedback via Phone or Email
2-1. Begin by showing gratitude.
You can say “Thank you for interviewing me for this position.” This leaves a good impression and increases the chances that you’ll be provided with constructive feedback.
Throw in a few extra words like “It was a pleasure to meet your team and learn more about the company.”
If you met with specific people during the interview process, be sure to mention them by name: “It was great to meet you and Charlie,” “Please extend my gratitude to Maria.”
2-2. Express disappointment in a positive way.
For example, “I’m saddened that I won’t be joining your team, but I’m grateful for having applied.” This reaffirms your appreciation while showing that you respect their decision.
Add a few specifics about the company or position, if possible.
For example, “While I’m saddened that I won’t be working with Alex and the rest of the Human Resources team, I’m grateful for having applied and wish you all the best.”
2-3. Show that you want to grow and learn.
“I’m always looking to improve my skills and would appreciate your feedback.” This positivity will reflect well on you. It also shows that you value their opinion, which might persuade them to offer their insights.
If you’re requesting feedback over the phone, you could say, “If you have a few moments, I’d love to get some brief feedback on my application.”
2-4. Ask specific questions.
For instance, “Could you tell me one or two ways I could have done better during the interview?” Recruiters are often busy and have little time to reply to rejected candidates. Keeping things brief shows that you respect their time and gives them the option to say as much—or as little—as they want.
Ask if you lacked necessary qualifications. Recruiters often prefer candidates who already have the skillsets and experience needed for the job, so this could be opportunity to learn which qualifications you’re missing, if any.
Take notes on any feedback you receive. Pay attention to specific suggestions for areas to improve.
Take feedback as an opportunity to grow. While rejection hurts and criticism stings, learning your weaknesses can help you make the changes necessary to achieving your goals.
2-5. Request input on your resumé and cover letter.
You could ask “Do you have any feedback on my resumé or CL?” Pay attention to what they liked, didn’t like, and what was missing. Use this info to polish up your applications and make yourself a stronger job candidate.
If you’re getting feedback on the phone, have your resumé and cover letter in front of you during the call. Make highlights and take notes according to the feedback you receive.
If there were other materials in your application, like a portfolio or test results, you can ask about those as well.
For example “Did my writing portfolio contain the proper material?” or “Was there a particular section of the aptitude test where I could have improved?”
2-6. Once you’ve asked specific questions, ask for general feedback.
“Are there any other thoughts or feedback that come to mind?” This gives them a chance to share extra feedback that may be totally unrelated to your previous questions.
Save this question for the end of your email or phone conversation, after more specific questions have been asked.
For an email, you can phrase this as a statement. “Please feel free to share any other feedback that comes to mind.”
2-7. End with a warm “Thank you.”
You can also reaffirm your interest in working for the company down the line. For example, you can say “Thank you, again. And please keep me in mind if any positions that match my skillset become available.”
If you’re writing an email, you could say “Thank you, again, and I hope to hear from you soon,” or “Thank you, and please send my regards to the rest of the team.”
You can also acknowledge recent events or the time of year. For example “Thank you, again. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving.”
3. Sample Emails
3-1.
Hello Michelle,Thank you so much for following up to let me know your decision. While I’m saddened that I won’t be joining your team, I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to interview and wish you the best of luck going forward. As you know, I’m always looking to improve my skills and expand my horizons. I’d love to get your feedback on my interview and application materials. Could you tell me one or two ways I could have done better during my interview? Was I missing any qualifications or required experience? Do you have any feedback on my resumé and cover letter? I’d welcome your thoughts on these and any other areas where I could improve as candidate for similar roles. As always, I can be reached at this email from 9am-5pm, Monday-Friday, or by phone at 917-555-2313. Thank you, again, for your time and consideration. Best wishes,[email protected]
3-2.
Dear Mr. Rosetti,Thank you for informing me of your decision. While I regret that I won’t be joining the group as a Junior Associate, I nonetheless feel privileged to have been considered for the position. Despite my disappointment at this outcome, I’d like to take this opportunity to learn from my mistakes and improve my prospects going forward. If you could spare a few moments, I’d be obliged if you could provide feedback on my interview and overall candidacy. Could you recommend one or two ways I could have improved during my interview? Was I lacking any important qualifications or prerequisite experience? Lastly, do you have any recommendations regarding my cover letter and resumé? I’d appreciate your feedback on these areas, along with any other thoughts you’d like to share. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience via this email address, or by phone at 908-555-1881. My availability and further contact information are in my signature line. Thank you, once again, and please extend my gratitude to Maria and the rest of the team at ABC Associates. Best regards, Dana [email protected]: +1 (908) 555-1881Fax: +1 (908) 555-1200Mon - Wed: 9:00am - 5:00pm PTThu: 8:00am - 6:00pm PTFri: 10:00am - 3:00pm PT
4. What to Avoid
4-1. Avoid broad questions.
“Is there anything I should have done differently?” or “How can I do better next time?” are both fair questions, but they can be tricky to answer. A busy recruiter may not have the time for such an open-ended conversation.
You can end an email or phone call with a general question or statement.
For example, “Is there anything else you’d like to share?” or “Let me know if you have any additional comments or feedback.”
4-2. It’s best not to argue with feedback.
While it’s possible that a recruiter’s feedback is unfair or just plain wrong, you shouldn’t challenge them on it. Arguing may create an impression that you’re unreceptive to feedback. It could also make it harder to absorb meaningful advice that could benefit you down the road.
If you feel hurt by the feedback you receive, try setting it aside and coming back to it later. It may be easier to hear criticism once you’d had a chance to process your feelings.
4-3. Avoid asking why you weren’t hired.
It’s normal to want to know, but asking about it directly can seem rude. Recruiters may not even be at liberty to say exactly what tipped the scale in favor of another candidate.
In some cases, the reason might be clear, such as if you scored too low on an aptitude test. But the recruiter may not be able to confirm this one way or another.
4-4. It’s best not to ask followup questions.
Wanting clarification or further feedback is totally reasonable, but it’s not always possible. Remember that recruiters are doing you a favor if they choose to provide feedback, and you don’t want to come across as inconsiderate. One email or phone call should be enough.
The only exception is if someone explicitly encourages you to follow up with more questions. In that case, a second email or phone call might be acceptable.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. When to Ask for Feedback\\nReply to rejection notices within 1 business day.\\nIf you receive an email, you should reply within 24 hours. Likewise, if you a get a voicemail, call back within 24 hours during their regular workings hours (in other words, usually not on a weekend or holiday). The only exception is if you happen to answer the original phone call. In that case, you should ask for feedback during the call.\\nAlways remain upbeat and professional.\\nThank them for interviewing you and taking the time to notify you of their decision.\\nExpress disappointment in a positive way. This reaffirms your appreciation while showing that you respect their decision.\\nOnce you’ve done the above, you can request feedback on your interview. Keep reading to learn what questions to ask, as well as what to avoid.\\n2. Asking for Feedback via Phone or Email\\n2-1. Begin by showing gratitude.\\nYou can say “Thank you for interviewing me for this position.” This leaves a good impression and increases the chances that you’ll be provided with constructive feedback.\\nThrow in a few extra words like “It was a pleasure to meet your team and learn more about the company.”\\nIf you met with specific people during the interview process, be sure to mention them by name: “It was great to meet you and Charlie,” “Please extend my gratitude to Maria.”\\n2-2. Express disappointment in a positive way.\\nFor example, “I’m saddened that I won’t be joining your team, but I’m grateful for having applied.” This reaffirms your appreciation while showing that you respect their decision.\\nAdd a few specifics about the company or position, if possible.\\nFor example, “While I’m saddened that I won’t be working with Alex and the rest of the Human Resources team, I’m grateful for having applied and wish you all the best.”\\n2-3. Show that you want to grow and learn.\\n“I’m always looking to improve my skills and would appreciate your feedback.” This positivity will reflect well on you. It also shows that you value their opinion, which might persuade them to offer their insights.\\nIf you’re requesting feedback over the phone, you could say, “If you have a few moments, I’d love to get some brief feedback on my application.”\\n2-4. Ask specific questions.\\nFor instance, “Could you tell me one or two ways I could have done better during the interview?” Recruiters are often busy and have little time to reply to rejected candidates. Keeping things brief shows that you respect their time and gives them the option to say as much—or as little—as they want.\\nAsk if you lacked necessary qualifications. Recruiters often prefer candidates who already have the skillsets and experience needed for the job, so this could be opportunity to learn which qualifications you’re missing, if any.\\nTake notes on any feedback you receive. Pay attention to specific suggestions for areas to improve.\\nTake feedback as an opportunity to grow. While rejection hurts and criticism stings, learning your weaknesses can help you make the changes necessary to achieving your goals.\\n2-5. Request input on your resumé and cover letter.\\nYou could ask “Do you have any feedback on my resumé or CL?” Pay attention to what they liked, didn’t like, and what was missing. Use this info to polish up your applications and make yourself a stronger job candidate.\\nIf you’re getting feedback on the phone, have your resumé and cover letter in front of you during the call. Make highlights and take notes according to the feedback you receive.\\nIf there were other materials in your application, like a portfolio or test results, you can ask about those as well.\\nFor example “Did my writing portfolio contain the proper material?” or “Was there a particular section of the aptitude test where I could have improved?”\\n2-6. Once you’ve asked specific questions, ask for general feedback.\\n“Are there any other thoughts or feedback that come to mind?” This gives them a chance to share extra feedback that may be totally unrelated to your previous questions.\\nSave this question for the end of your email or phone conversation, after more specific questions have been asked.\\nFor an email, you can phrase this as a statement. “Please feel free to share any other feedback that comes to mind.”\\n2-7. End with a warm “Thank you.”\\nYou can also reaffirm your interest in working for the company down the line. For example, you can say “Thank you, again. And please keep me in mind if any positions that match my skillset become available.”\\nIf you’re writing an email, you could say “Thank you, again, and I hope to hear from you soon,” or “Thank you, and please send my regards to the rest of the team.”\\nYou can also acknowledge recent events or the time of year. For example “Thank you, again. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving.”\\n3. Sample Emails\\n3-1. \\nHello Michelle,Thank you so much for following up to let me know your decision. While I’m saddened that I won’t be joining your team, I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to interview and wish you the best of luck going forward. As you know, I’m always looking to improve my skills and expand my horizons. I’d love to get your feedback on my interview and application materials. Could you tell me one or two ways I could have done better during my interview? Was I missing any qualifications or required experience? Do you have any feedback on my resumé and cover letter? I’d welcome your thoughts on these and any other areas where I could improve as candidate for similar roles. As always, I can be reached at this email from 9am-5pm, Monday-Friday, or by phone at 917-555-2313. Thank you, again, for your time and consideration. Best wishes,[email protected]\\n3-2. \\nDear Mr. Rosetti,Thank you for informing me of your decision. While I regret that I won’t be joining the group as a Junior Associate, I nonetheless feel privileged to have been considered for the position. Despite my disappointment at this outcome, I’d like to take this opportunity to learn from my mistakes and improve my prospects going forward. If you could spare a few moments, I’d be obliged if you could provide feedback on my interview and overall candidacy. Could you recommend one or two ways I could have improved during my interview? Was I lacking any important qualifications or prerequisite experience? Lastly, do you have any recommendations regarding my cover letter and resumé? I’d appreciate your feedback on these areas, along with any other thoughts you’d like to share. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience via this email address, or by phone at 908-555-1881. My availability and further contact information are in my signature line. Thank you, once again, and please extend my gratitude to Maria and the rest of the team at ABC Associates. Best regards, Dana [email protected]: +1 (908) 555-1881Fax: +1 (908) 555-1200Mon - Wed: 9:00am - 5:00pm PTThu: 8:00am - 6:00pm PTFri: 10:00am - 3:00pm PT\\n4. What to Avoid\\n4-1. Avoid broad questions.\\n“Is there anything I should have done differently?” or “How can I do better next time?” are both fair questions, but they can be tricky to answer. A busy recruiter may not have the time for such an open-ended conversation.\\nYou can end an email or phone call with a general question or statement.\\nFor example, “Is there anything else you’d like to share?” or “Let me know if you have any additional comments or feedback.”\\n4-2. It’s best not to argue with feedback.\\nWhile it’s possible that a recruiter’s feedback is unfair or just plain wrong, you shouldn’t challenge them on it. Arguing may create an impression that you’re unreceptive to feedback. It could also make it harder to absorb meaningful advice that could benefit you down the road.\\nIf you feel hurt by the feedback you receive, try setting it aside and coming back to it later. It may be easier to hear criticism once you’d had a chance to process your feelings.\\n4-3. Avoid asking why you weren’t hired.\\nIt’s normal to want to know, but asking about it directly can seem rude. Recruiters may not even be at liberty to say exactly what tipped the scale in favor of another candidate.\\nIn some cases, the reason might be clear, such as if you scored too low on an aptitude test. But the recruiter may not be able to confirm this one way or another.\\n4-4. It’s best not to ask followup questions.\\nWanting clarification or further feedback is totally reasonable, but it’s not always possible. Remember that recruiters are doing you a favor if they choose to provide feedback, and you don’t want to come across as inconsiderate. One email or phone call should be enough.\\nThe only exception is if someone explicitly encourages you to follow up with more questions. In that case, a second email or phone call might be acceptable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"“Thank you for your interest in this position,” you read, dreading what comes next. “After careful consideration, we’ve decided to offer the role to another candidate.” We’ve all been there. Being rejected is a part of any job hunt. When it happens, you might wonder, “What could I have done differently?” Well, it doesn’t hurt to find out! Getting feedback gives you a chance to learn from your mistakes and do better next time—but the key is knowing how to ask. We’ve put together a guide on requesting feedback after a job rejection. Keep reading to learn what questions to raise, how to respond to rejection emails and phone calls, and how to phrase your message to increase the odds of getting a reply.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"When to Ask for Feedback\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Reply to rejection notices within 1 business day.\", \"描述\": \"If you receive an email, you should reply within 24 hours. Likewise, if you a get a voicemail, call back within 24 hours during their regular workings hours (in other words, usually not on a weekend or holiday). The only exception is if you happen to answer the original phone call. In that case, you should ask for feedback during the call.\\nAlways remain upbeat and professional.\\nThank them for interviewing you and taking the time to notify you of their decision.\\nExpress disappointment in a positive way. This reaffirms your appreciation while showing that you respect their decision.\\nOnce you’ve done the above, you can request feedback on your interview. Keep reading to learn what questions to ask, as well as what to avoid.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for Feedback via Phone or Email\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Begin by showing gratitude.\", \"描述\": \"You can say “Thank you for interviewing me for this position.” This leaves a good impression and increases the chances that you’ll be provided with constructive feedback.\\nThrow in a few extra words like “It was a pleasure to meet your team and learn more about the company.”\\nIf you met with specific people during the interview process, be sure to mention them by name: “It was great to meet you and Charlie,” “Please extend my gratitude to Maria.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Express disappointment in a positive way.\", \"描述\": \"For example, “I’m saddened that I won’t be joining your team, but I’m grateful for having applied.” This reaffirms your appreciation while showing that you respect their decision.\\nAdd a few specifics about the company or position, if possible.\\nFor example, “While I’m saddened that I won’t be working with Alex and the rest of the Human Resources team, I’m grateful for having applied and wish you all the best.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Show that you want to grow and learn.\", \"描述\": \"“I’m always looking to improve my skills and would appreciate your feedback.” This positivity will reflect well on you. It also shows that you value their opinion, which might persuade them to offer their insights.\\nIf you’re requesting feedback over the phone, you could say, “If you have a few moments, I’d love to get some brief feedback on my application.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask specific questions.\", \"描述\": \"For instance, “Could you tell me one or two ways I could have done better during the interview?” Recruiters are often busy and have little time to reply to rejected candidates. Keeping things brief shows that you respect their time and gives them the option to say as much—or as little—as they want.\\nAsk if you lacked necessary qualifications. Recruiters often prefer candidates who already have the skillsets and experience needed for the job, so this could be opportunity to learn which qualifications you’re missing, if any.\\nTake notes on any feedback you receive. Pay attention to specific suggestions for areas to improve.\\nTake feedback as an opportunity to grow. While rejection hurts and criticism stings, learning your weaknesses can help you make the changes necessary to achieving your goals.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Request input on your resumé and cover letter.\", \"描述\": \"You could ask “Do you have any feedback on my resumé or CL?” Pay attention to what they liked, didn’t like, and what was missing. Use this info to polish up your applications and make yourself a stronger job candidate.\\nIf you’re getting feedback on the phone, have your resumé and cover letter in front of you during the call. Make highlights and take notes according to the feedback you receive.\\nIf there were other materials in your application, like a portfolio or test results, you can ask about those as well.\\nFor example “Did my writing portfolio contain the proper material?” or “Was there a particular section of the aptitude test where I could have improved?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Once you’ve asked specific questions, ask for general feedback.\", \"描述\": \"“Are there any other thoughts or feedback that come to mind?” This gives them a chance to share extra feedback that may be totally unrelated to your previous questions.\\nSave this question for the end of your email or phone conversation, after more specific questions have been asked.\\nFor an email, you can phrase this as a statement. “Please feel free to share any other feedback that comes to mind.”\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"End with a warm “Thank you.”\", \"描述\": \"You can also reaffirm your interest in working for the company down the line. For example, you can say “Thank you, again. And please keep me in mind if any positions that match my skillset become available.”\\nIf you’re writing an email, you could say “Thank you, again, and I hope to hear from you soon,” or “Thank you, and please send my regards to the rest of the team.”\\nYou can also acknowledge recent events or the time of year. For example “Thank you, again. I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Sample Emails\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"Hello Michelle,Thank you so much for following up to let me know your decision. While I’m saddened that I won’t be joining your team, I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to interview and wish you the best of luck going forward. As you know, I’m always looking to improve my skills and expand my horizons. I’d love to get your feedback on my interview and application materials. Could you tell me one or two ways I could have done better during my interview? Was I missing any qualifications or required experience? Do you have any feedback on my resumé and cover letter? I’d welcome your thoughts on these and any other areas where I could improve as candidate for similar roles. As always, I can be reached at this email from 9am-5pm, Monday-Friday, or by phone at 917-555-2313. Thank you, again, for your time and consideration. Best wishes,[email protected]\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"Dear Mr. Rosetti,Thank you for informing me of your decision. While I regret that I won’t be joining the group as a Junior Associate, I nonetheless feel privileged to have been considered for the position. Despite my disappointment at this outcome, I’d like to take this opportunity to learn from my mistakes and improve my prospects going forward. If you could spare a few moments, I’d be obliged if you could provide feedback on my interview and overall candidacy. Could you recommend one or two ways I could have improved during my interview? Was I lacking any important qualifications or prerequisite experience? Lastly, do you have any recommendations regarding my cover letter and resumé? I’d appreciate your feedback on these areas, along with any other thoughts you’d like to share. Please feel free to contact me at your convenience via this email address, or by phone at 908-555-1881. My availability and further contact information are in my signature line. Thank you, once again, and please extend my gratitude to Maria and the rest of the team at ABC Associates. Best regards, Dana [email protected]: +1 (908) 555-1881Fax: +1 (908) 555-1200Mon - Wed: 9:00am - 5:00pm PTThu: 8:00am - 6:00pm PTFri: 10:00am - 3:00pm PT\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"What to Avoid\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Avoid broad questions.\", \"描述\": \"“Is there anything I should have done differently?” or “How can I do better next time?” are both fair questions, but they can be tricky to answer. A busy recruiter may not have the time for such an open-ended conversation.\\nYou can end an email or phone call with a general question or statement.\\nFor example, “Is there anything else you’d like to share?” or “Let me know if you have any additional comments or feedback.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"It’s best not to argue with feedback.\", \"描述\": \"While it’s possible that a recruiter’s feedback is unfair or just plain wrong, you shouldn’t challenge them on it. Arguing may create an impression that you’re unreceptive to feedback. It could also make it harder to absorb meaningful advice that could benefit you down the road.\\nIf you feel hurt by the feedback you receive, try setting it aside and coming back to it later. It may be easier to hear criticism once you’d had a chance to process your feelings.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Avoid asking why you weren’t hired.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal to want to know, but asking about it directly can seem rude. Recruiters may not even be at liberty to say exactly what tipped the scale in favor of another candidate.\\nIn some cases, the reason might be clear, such as if you scored too low on an aptitude test. But the recruiter may not be able to confirm this one way or another.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"It’s best not to ask followup questions.\", \"描述\": \"Wanting clarification or further feedback is totally reasonable, but it’s not always possible. Remember that recruiters are doing you a favor if they choose to provide feedback, and you don’t want to come across as inconsiderate. One email or phone call should be enough.\\nThe only exception is if someone explicitly encourages you to follow up with more questions. In that case, a second email or phone call might be acceptable.\"}]}]}}",
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2,602 | How to Ask for Forgiveness | 1. Preparing to Ask for Forgiveness
1-1. Think about what you did to upset the person.
Before you can develop an apology, you need to identify what you did to upset the person. It is important to know which of your specific actions led to the person being upset with you. If you are uncertain about why the person is mad at you, you should ask what specific things upset them.
Example scenario 1: I embarrassed my friend by making a scene at his party.
Example scenario 2: I snapped at my spouse and was irritable and short all day
1-2. Understand why you did what you did.
In addition to understanding what you did to upset someone, you also need to understand why you did it. While you don't want to use your intentions as an excuse, your reasons may help you develop your apology by helping you to take responsibility for your actions.
Example scenario 1: I made a scene at the party because I was feeling left out and wanted more attention.
Example scenario 2: I treated my spouse this way because I did not sleep well the night before and I had a lot of things on my mind.
1-3. Empathize with the person you wronged.
It is important to develop a sense of empathy for the person to whom you are apologizing. Having empathy means that you understand why your actions hurt the other person because you have put yourself in their shoes and imagined their pain. Without empathy, your apology may end up sounding empty and insincere. Before apologizing to someone, take the time to develop your empathy for the person. Imagine if the same thing had happened to you. How would you feel? What would you do?
Example scenario 1: If my friend made a scene at a party I was giving, I would feel angry and betrayed.
Example scenario 2: If my spouse had snapped at me for no reason and treated me badly all day, I would feel hurt and confused.
1-4. Remember that your mistake does not make you a bad person.
Apologizing can be hard because it requires you to admit that you have done something wrong. Just remember that by apologizing, you are not admitting to being a bad person. One study found that taking a few moments to affirm your good qualities (in private, before you apologize to someone) can make the apology easier.
Try taking a moment to yourself before your next apology, look at yourself in the mirror, and say three things that you like about yourself.
1-5. Write out your apology.
If you have many things that you need to say to the person, you may want to write out your apology before you apologize. By writing your apology out, you will have an easier time knowing what you need to say. You can also keep the notes with you when you actually apologize to remind yourself.
By taking the time to write out your apology, you will demonstrate to the other person that you have thought long and hard about your mistake. Your apology will be understood as even more sincere as a result.
Apologizing in person is preferable. But if you cannot reach the person by phone or in person, you can still email or snail mail your apology to the person.
2. Asking For Forgiveness
2-1. Apologize to the person you have wronged.
The first thing you need to do when you ask forgiveness of someone is to express remorse for your actions. In other words, you need to make it clear that you feel sorry about what you have done. This can be accomplished easily if you start out by saying, “I'm sorry,” or “I apologize.”
Strengthen your statement of remorse by saying exactly what you are sorry about. For example, “I am sorry for making a scene at your party.” Or, “I apologize for snapping at you and being so short with you yesterday.”
2-2. Explain why you did what you did, but don't make excuses.
It is important to reveal the motivation behind your actions, but you have to be careful not to use your motivation as an excuse. Simply tell the person what caused you to do or say the things that you did. Keep this portion of the apology short and make it clear that you are not trying to use it as an excuse for your actions.
For example, “I made a scene because I was feeling left out and wanted more attention, but that's no excuse for my behavior.” Or, “I acted that way because I did not sleep well the night before and I had a lot of things on my mind, but that is not your fault and it was wrong for me to take it out on you.”
2-3. Demonstrate empathy.
In addition to making sure that the person knows you are accepting responsibility for your actions, you should also make it clear that you understand how you made them feel. Tell the person how you imagine or know that you made them feel.
For example, “By making a scene at your party I know that I embarrassed you in front of your new friends from work.” Or, “By acting that way towards you, I probably made you feel unappreciated.”
2-4. Try to make things right.
Once you have addressed what you did, why you did it, and why it was wrong, you need to make things right. In other words, you need to tell the person what you intend to do in the future to prevent another similar situation. This may be accomplished by providing a plan for future scenarios or by saying how you will respond differently in the future.
For example, “In the future, I will talk to someone about how I am feeling rather than acting out.” Or, “The next time I am having a bad day, I will take some time to myself and try not to project my anger onto you.”
2-5. Show them that you've changed.
It is important to demonstrate the amount of time and effort that you have put into your apology and the efforts you are making to avoid a similar situation in the future. If you took the time to correct the mistake you made, tell the person about how you corrected it. It shows a willingness to admit you're wrong, as well as a sincere desire to atone for a mistake.
Example: "I've even changed after that incident. I'm trying to find productive outlets for my anger. I'm going to the gym and taking kickboxing classes. I've even talked with a therapist about confronting some of my anger issues."
2-6. Ask for their forgiveness.
Once you have apologized, you can ask the other person to forgive you. This may be the most difficult part of the apology because there is always a chance that the person will not forgive you. In fact, you should demonstrate your understanding by allowing the person that option. Just keep in mind that you can try again if the person is not ready to forgive and try not to get discouraged.
Example: "I care about you a lot and I value our friendship. Will you please forgive me?"
2-7. Try to sweeten the deal.
Compensate for your mistake by doing something good for the person you have wronged. Approach them with a bunch of flowers or a card with a written note. Show them that your actions are not just about relieving yourself of guilt, but making them feel better, too. Just don't rely on flowers or some other gift as a stand-in for a sincere apology.
3. Dealing with Disappointment
3-1. Expect little, but hope for the best.
If you expect to be forgiven and aren't, you're understandably going to be really disappointed. If you expect very little and are forgiven, then you'll be a lot happier. Prepare yourself for the worst but hope for the best.
3-2. Be understanding.
If the person does not forgive you, show empathy. Say something like "That's okay, I don't know if I could forgive myself either. I just hope that time can bring us closer together again. I really value your friendship."
Don't get mad at the other person for not forgiving you. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right. Remember that you're more likely to be forgiven if you're a likable and understanding person afterward.
3-3. Be patient.
Small transgressions may be forgiven easily, but some wounds need time to heal. Do not expect to be forgiven easily if what you did was especially hurtful. Even if your request for forgiveness is denied, continue trying.
Apologizing in person is usually the best method, but if that is impossible, reach them through other means of communication. Text them, send emails, but do not give up.
Tips
Remember, actions speak louder than words. Follow up your apology with an action as soon as possible.
It is a good idea to practice your apology. Saying sorry is not a very natural thing for many of us and therefore needs to be practiced.
If the person is very angry and you think you would not be able to handle the situation, wait for a better time.
Warnings
Do not blame the other person during an apology. It may cause them to reject the other parts of your apology if you say something to threaten their ego. Just remember that you can talk about these other issues at a different time if you plan to move forward with the relationship.
Do not make excuses for your actions. It may give the impression that you do not actually regret what you did.
Do not exaggerate your feelings of remorse. It might give the impression of you faking it. Be honest and sincere, but don't be over dramatic.
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"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Preparing to Ask for Forgiveness\\n1-1. Think about what you did to upset the person.\\nBefore you can develop an apology, you need to identify what you did to upset the person. It is important to know which of your specific actions led to the person being upset with you. If you are uncertain about why the person is mad at you, you should ask what specific things upset them.\\nExample scenario 1: I embarrassed my friend by making a scene at his party.\\nExample scenario 2: I snapped at my spouse and was irritable and short all day\\n1-2. Understand why you did what you did.\\nIn addition to understanding what you did to upset someone, you also need to understand why you did it. While you don't want to use your intentions as an excuse, your reasons may help you develop your apology by helping you to take responsibility for your actions. \\nExample scenario 1: I made a scene at the party because I was feeling left out and wanted more attention.\\nExample scenario 2: I treated my spouse this way because I did not sleep well the night before and I had a lot of things on my mind.\\n1-3. Empathize with the person you wronged.\\nIt is important to develop a sense of empathy for the person to whom you are apologizing. Having empathy means that you understand why your actions hurt the other person because you have put yourself in their shoes and imagined their pain. Without empathy, your apology may end up sounding empty and insincere. Before apologizing to someone, take the time to develop your empathy for the person. Imagine if the same thing had happened to you. How would you feel? What would you do?\\nExample scenario 1: If my friend made a scene at a party I was giving, I would feel angry and betrayed.\\nExample scenario 2: If my spouse had snapped at me for no reason and treated me badly all day, I would feel hurt and confused.\\n1-4. Remember that your mistake does not make you a bad person.\\nApologizing can be hard because it requires you to admit that you have done something wrong. Just remember that by apologizing, you are not admitting to being a bad person. One study found that taking a few moments to affirm your good qualities (in private, before you apologize to someone) can make the apology easier.\\nTry taking a moment to yourself before your next apology, look at yourself in the mirror, and say three things that you like about yourself.\\n1-5. Write out your apology.\\nIf you have many things that you need to say to the person, you may want to write out your apology before you apologize. By writing your apology out, you will have an easier time knowing what you need to say. You can also keep the notes with you when you actually apologize to remind yourself.\\nBy taking the time to write out your apology, you will demonstrate to the other person that you have thought long and hard about your mistake. Your apology will be understood as even more sincere as a result.\\nApologizing in person is preferable. But if you cannot reach the person by phone or in person, you can still email or snail mail your apology to the person.\\n2. Asking For Forgiveness\\n2-1. Apologize to the person you have wronged.\\nThe first thing you need to do when you ask forgiveness of someone is to express remorse for your actions. In other words, you need to make it clear that you feel sorry about what you have done. This can be accomplished easily if you start out by saying, “I'm sorry,” or “I apologize.”\\nStrengthen your statement of remorse by saying exactly what you are sorry about. For example, “I am sorry for making a scene at your party.” Or, “I apologize for snapping at you and being so short with you yesterday.”\\n2-2. Explain why you did what you did, but don't make excuses.\\nIt is important to reveal the motivation behind your actions, but you have to be careful not to use your motivation as an excuse. Simply tell the person what caused you to do or say the things that you did. Keep this portion of the apology short and make it clear that you are not trying to use it as an excuse for your actions.\\nFor example, “I made a scene because I was feeling left out and wanted more attention, but that's no excuse for my behavior.” Or, “I acted that way because I did not sleep well the night before and I had a lot of things on my mind, but that is not your fault and it was wrong for me to take it out on you.”\\n2-3. Demonstrate empathy.\\nIn addition to making sure that the person knows you are accepting responsibility for your actions, you should also make it clear that you understand how you made them feel. Tell the person how you imagine or know that you made them feel. \\nFor example, “By making a scene at your party I know that I embarrassed you in front of your new friends from work.” Or, “By acting that way towards you, I probably made you feel unappreciated.”\\n2-4. Try to make things right.\\nOnce you have addressed what you did, why you did it, and why it was wrong, you need to make things right. In other words, you need to tell the person what you intend to do in the future to prevent another similar situation. This may be accomplished by providing a plan for future scenarios or by saying how you will respond differently in the future. \\nFor example, “In the future, I will talk to someone about how I am feeling rather than acting out.” Or, “The next time I am having a bad day, I will take some time to myself and try not to project my anger onto you.”\\n2-5. Show them that you've changed.\\nIt is important to demonstrate the amount of time and effort that you have put into your apology and the efforts you are making to avoid a similar situation in the future. If you took the time to correct the mistake you made, tell the person about how you corrected it. It shows a willingness to admit you're wrong, as well as a sincere desire to atone for a mistake.\\nExample: \\\"I've even changed after that incident. I'm trying to find productive outlets for my anger. I'm going to the gym and taking kickboxing classes. I've even talked with a therapist about confronting some of my anger issues.\\\"\\n2-6. Ask for their forgiveness.\\nOnce you have apologized, you can ask the other person to forgive you. This may be the most difficult part of the apology because there is always a chance that the person will not forgive you. In fact, you should demonstrate your understanding by allowing the person that option. Just keep in mind that you can try again if the person is not ready to forgive and try not to get discouraged.\\nExample: \\\"I care about you a lot and I value our friendship. Will you please forgive me?\\\"\\n2-7. Try to sweeten the deal.\\nCompensate for your mistake by doing something good for the person you have wronged. Approach them with a bunch of flowers or a card with a written note. Show them that your actions are not just about relieving yourself of guilt, but making them feel better, too. Just don't rely on flowers or some other gift as a stand-in for a sincere apology.\\n3. Dealing with Disappointment\\n3-1. Expect little, but hope for the best.\\nIf you expect to be forgiven and aren't, you're understandably going to be really disappointed. If you expect very little and are forgiven, then you'll be a lot happier. Prepare yourself for the worst but hope for the best.\\n3-2. Be understanding.\\nIf the person does not forgive you, show empathy. Say something like \\\"That's okay, I don't know if I could forgive myself either. I just hope that time can bring us closer together again. I really value your friendship.\\\"\\nDon't get mad at the other person for not forgiving you. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right. Remember that you're more likely to be forgiven if you're a likable and understanding person afterward.\\n3-3. Be patient.\\nSmall transgressions may be forgiven easily, but some wounds need time to heal. Do not expect to be forgiven easily if what you did was especially hurtful. Even if your request for forgiveness is denied, continue trying.\\nApologizing in person is usually the best method, but if that is impossible, reach them through other means of communication. Text them, send emails, but do not give up.\\nTips\\nRemember, actions speak louder than words. Follow up your apology with an action as soon as possible.\\nIt is a good idea to practice your apology. Saying sorry is not a very natural thing for many of us and therefore needs to be practiced.\\nIf the person is very angry and you think you would not be able to handle the situation, wait for a better time.\\nWarnings\\nDo not blame the other person during an apology. It may cause them to reject the other parts of your apology if you say something to threaten their ego. Just remember that you can talk about these other issues at a different time if you plan to move forward with the relationship.\\nDo not make excuses for your actions. It may give the impression that you do not actually regret what you did.\\nDo not exaggerate your feelings of remorse. It might give the impression of you faking it. Be honest and sincere, but don't be over dramatic.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking for forgiveness when you know you should is not a simple matter of uttering a few words. It is a way to show that you accept your mistake and have learned from it. To ask forgiveness of someone you need to spend some time thinking about your actions and how they affected the person you have wronged. Then you need to approach the person with sincerity and a willingness to be rejected. Asking forgiveness is not always easy, but you can learn how to do it by following some simple steps. Keep reading to learn how to ask for forgiveness.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Preparing to Ask for Forgiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Think about what you did to upset the person.\", \"描述\": \"Before you can develop an apology, you need to identify what you did to upset the person. It is important to know which of your specific actions led to the person being upset with you. If you are uncertain about why the person is mad at you, you should ask what specific things upset them.\\nExample scenario 1: I embarrassed my friend by making a scene at his party.\\nExample scenario 2: I snapped at my spouse and was irritable and short all day\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Understand why you did what you did.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to understanding what you did to upset someone, you also need to understand why you did it. While you don't want to use your intentions as an excuse, your reasons may help you develop your apology by helping you to take responsibility for your actions. \\nExample scenario 1: I made a scene at the party because I was feeling left out and wanted more attention.\\nExample scenario 2: I treated my spouse this way because I did not sleep well the night before and I had a lot of things on my mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Empathize with the person you wronged.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to develop a sense of empathy for the person to whom you are apologizing. Having empathy means that you understand why your actions hurt the other person because you have put yourself in their shoes and imagined their pain. Without empathy, your apology may end up sounding empty and insincere. Before apologizing to someone, take the time to develop your empathy for the person. Imagine if the same thing had happened to you. How would you feel? What would you do?\\nExample scenario 1: If my friend made a scene at a party I was giving, I would feel angry and betrayed.\\nExample scenario 2: If my spouse had snapped at me for no reason and treated me badly all day, I would feel hurt and confused.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Remember that your mistake does not make you a bad person.\", \"描述\": \"Apologizing can be hard because it requires you to admit that you have done something wrong. Just remember that by apologizing, you are not admitting to being a bad person. One study found that taking a few moments to affirm your good qualities (in private, before you apologize to someone) can make the apology easier.\\nTry taking a moment to yourself before your next apology, look at yourself in the mirror, and say three things that you like about yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Write out your apology.\", \"描述\": \"If you have many things that you need to say to the person, you may want to write out your apology before you apologize. By writing your apology out, you will have an easier time knowing what you need to say. You can also keep the notes with you when you actually apologize to remind yourself.\\nBy taking the time to write out your apology, you will demonstrate to the other person that you have thought long and hard about your mistake. Your apology will be understood as even more sincere as a result.\\nApologizing in person is preferable. But if you cannot reach the person by phone or in person, you can still email or snail mail your apology to the person.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking For Forgiveness\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Apologize to the person you have wronged.\", \"描述\": \"The first thing you need to do when you ask forgiveness of someone is to express remorse for your actions. In other words, you need to make it clear that you feel sorry about what you have done. This can be accomplished easily if you start out by saying, “I'm sorry,” or “I apologize.”\\nStrengthen your statement of remorse by saying exactly what you are sorry about. For example, “I am sorry for making a scene at your party.” Or, “I apologize for snapping at you and being so short with you yesterday.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain why you did what you did, but don't make excuses.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to reveal the motivation behind your actions, but you have to be careful not to use your motivation as an excuse. Simply tell the person what caused you to do or say the things that you did. Keep this portion of the apology short and make it clear that you are not trying to use it as an excuse for your actions.\\nFor example, “I made a scene because I was feeling left out and wanted more attention, but that's no excuse for my behavior.” Or, “I acted that way because I did not sleep well the night before and I had a lot of things on my mind, but that is not your fault and it was wrong for me to take it out on you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate empathy.\", \"描述\": \"In addition to making sure that the person knows you are accepting responsibility for your actions, you should also make it clear that you understand how you made them feel. Tell the person how you imagine or know that you made them feel. \\nFor example, “By making a scene at your party I know that I embarrassed you in front of your new friends from work.” Or, “By acting that way towards you, I probably made you feel unappreciated.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Try to make things right.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have addressed what you did, why you did it, and why it was wrong, you need to make things right. In other words, you need to tell the person what you intend to do in the future to prevent another similar situation. This may be accomplished by providing a plan for future scenarios or by saying how you will respond differently in the future. \\nFor example, “In the future, I will talk to someone about how I am feeling rather than acting out.” Or, “The next time I am having a bad day, I will take some time to myself and try not to project my anger onto you.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Show them that you've changed.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to demonstrate the amount of time and effort that you have put into your apology and the efforts you are making to avoid a similar situation in the future. If you took the time to correct the mistake you made, tell the person about how you corrected it. It shows a willingness to admit you're wrong, as well as a sincere desire to atone for a mistake.\\nExample: \\\"I've even changed after that incident. I'm trying to find productive outlets for my anger. I'm going to the gym and taking kickboxing classes. I've even talked with a therapist about confronting some of my anger issues.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask for their forgiveness.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have apologized, you can ask the other person to forgive you. This may be the most difficult part of the apology because there is always a chance that the person will not forgive you. In fact, you should demonstrate your understanding by allowing the person that option. Just keep in mind that you can try again if the person is not ready to forgive and try not to get discouraged.\\nExample: \\\"I care about you a lot and I value our friendship. Will you please forgive me?\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Try to sweeten the deal.\", \"描述\": \"Compensate for your mistake by doing something good for the person you have wronged. Approach them with a bunch of flowers or a card with a written note. Show them that your actions are not just about relieving yourself of guilt, but making them feel better, too. Just don't rely on flowers or some other gift as a stand-in for a sincere apology.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Dealing with Disappointment\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Expect little, but hope for the best.\", \"描述\": \"If you expect to be forgiven and aren't, you're understandably going to be really disappointed. If you expect very little and are forgiven, then you'll be a lot happier. Prepare yourself for the worst but hope for the best.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be understanding.\", \"描述\": \"If the person does not forgive you, show empathy. Say something like \\\"That's okay, I don't know if I could forgive myself either. I just hope that time can bring us closer together again. I really value your friendship.\\\"\\nDon't get mad at the other person for not forgiving you. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right. Remember that you're more likely to be forgiven if you're a likable and understanding person afterward.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be patient.\", \"描述\": \"Small transgressions may be forgiven easily, but some wounds need time to heal. Do not expect to be forgiven easily if what you did was especially hurtful. Even if your request for forgiveness is denied, continue trying.\\nApologizing in person is usually the best method, but if that is impossible, reach them through other means of communication. Text them, send emails, but do not give up.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Remember, actions speak louder than words. Follow up your apology with an action as soon as possible.\\n\", \"It is a good idea to practice your apology. Saying sorry is not a very natural thing for many of us and therefore needs to be practiced.\\n\", \"If the person is very angry and you think you would not be able to handle the situation, wait for a better time.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Do not blame the other person during an apology. It may cause them to reject the other parts of your apology if you say something to threaten their ego. Just remember that you can talk about these other issues at a different time if you plan to move forward with the relationship.\\n\", \"Do not make excuses for your actions. It may give the impression that you do not actually regret what you did.\\n\", \"Do not exaggerate your feelings of remorse. It might give the impression of you faking it. Be honest and sincere, but don't be over dramatic.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,603 | How to Ask for Girl's Number on Tinder | 1. “I dare you to give me your phone number.”
Play a little game of truth or dare that ends with her number.
Try a message like, “Truth or dare?” If she picks dare, you can use the line above, no sweat! If she picks truth, simply ask, “What’s your number?” This is a fun and easy way to ask for a girl’s number that shows you can be a little goofy, too.
Or, if you’d rather give out your digits first, you might say, “I dare you to ask me for my number.”
2. “1 x your phone number = ?”
Ask her to solve a witty math problem to get her number.
Start off with something like, “Help! My nephew is doing math homework and he’s stuck on this problem.” She’ll probably respond with something like, “Haha, okay. What is it?” Then, you can send her the message above, and she’ll probably get a good giggle as she types out her number.
Messages like these work best after you’ve had a conversation first. You can try it as your opening line, but you’ll have more success if you’ve done a bit of small talk beforehand.
3. “There’s something wrong with my cell. It doesn’t have your number in it.”
You can use this as an opening line if you’re bold!
Make her laugh with this silly pickup line, and hopefully get her number if she likes you enough. If she’s into it, she’ll probably send you a laughing emoji along with her digits.
Not everyone appreciates pickup lines, but if her profile looks like she has a good sense of humor, then she just might.
4. “What’s a smart, attractive person like me doing without your phone number?”
Act cocky to make her laugh (and get her contact info).
If you’re normally a little self-deprecating, play it a different way by pretending you’re the best of the best. Then, ask for her phone number as she chuckles at your opening line.
When you text her for the first time, you could say something like, “It’s me! The smartest, most attractive person on Tinder.”
5. “📱 ❓”
Say everything with just a couple of emojis.
If you aren’t really a conversationalist, you can get your point across by just sending a phone emoji and a question mark. You might want to start out with a few heart eye emojis, just so she knows you like her. Then, she’ll feel great about sending along her digits.
You can even ask a girl out on a date in emojis! Try sending her something like, “🍷🍣🌹❓” to ask her out to a sushi dinner.
6. “I forgot my password and the only hint is ‘your number’!”
This goofy line will probably make her smile.
Make up the fact that you’ve been locked out of your Facebook or Instagram account, and try to make it seem like a huge deal. Then, tell her that the only password hint it gave you is her number, so she has to give it to you! If she appreciates your joke, you’ll have her digits in no time.
Personalize this message even more by adding her name in your message. For instance, if you’re chatting with Anna, you’d say, “The only hint is ‘Anna’s number’!”
7. “If I had your number, we could forget we ever met on Tinder.”
A lot of people don’t love the fact that they’re on dating apps.
If you get the vibe that she’s a little fed up with online dating in general, test the waters by telling her if you take it off the app, you could forget this ever happened. You could make it even more funny by sending messages like:
“We could make up a story to tell people if they ask how we met! Maybe we sat next to each other at a monster truck rally, or I spotted you across the aisle at our local butcher shop.”
"Let's trade numbers! This app sucks."
8. “I don’t check this app very often. What’s your number?”
Straight and to the point, this message lets her know you want to talk to her more.
If you have trouble checking your Tinder messages consistently, you might want to ask for her digits so you two can keep chatting. Try using this one after you’ve had a fun conversation so she’s more motivated to keep talking to you.
You might also say something like, “I’m so bad at checking Tinder. Can I give you my number instead?”
Or, “As you can probably tell, I’m not great at responding to these messages, haha. Want to shoot me your digits instead?”
9. “Tinder is being a little buggy. Want to move this over to WhatsApp?”
This message feels low-key, because you’re just moving messaging platforms.
However, WhatsApp does require a phone number, so you’ll have to exchange digits with the girl to keep the convo going. Once you have her contact info, send her a text telling her who you are! Then, you can continue your conversation via text.
If you don’t have WhatsApp, you can download it for free on iOS or Android.
10. “I hate chatting on these apps. Want to exchange numbers?”
Be upfront that you aren’t the biggest fan of Tinder.
If you really don’t love Tinder’s messaging feature, let her know, and ask her if she’d like to keep chatting. Chances are, she probably doesn’t like it very much either, and she’ll be grateful that you made the first move to take things off the app.
You might also say something like, “I’m not a huge fan of Tinder. Want to text me?”
Or, “I’m so tired of dating apps. Let’s text instead.”
11. “I’d love to call you. What’s your phone number?”
If calling someone is more your style, try this one.
Maybe you aren’t the best texter in the world, or maybe she’s told you that she’s a slow texter. You can ask for her number to give her a ring instead—it’s kind of old-fashioned, but some girls really like that! Then, you two can chat over the phone and get to know each other more before setting up a date.
This is a good tactic to use if you’ve already asked her to text you and she’s made an excuse.
You could also say, “I’m pretty bad at texting people back. Want to call me sometime?”
12. “Let’s finish the rest of this conversation over text.”
Let her know you’re having a fun time and you want to take it to the next level.
If you two are in the middle of a fun convo, pause, and then ask for her number. If she’s been enjoying it as much as you have, she’ll have no problem giving you her digits so that you two can keep talking.
You could also tell her the first part of a joke and then say, “I’ll give you the punchline over text. What’s your number?”
13. “I’m headed out of town, I’d love to see you when I get back. What’s your number?”
Going out of town implies that you won’t be on the app for a while.
If she knows that you might be unreachable but she still wants to talk to you, she’ll probably give you her number no problem. Then, you can set up an IRL date for whenever you’re back in town.
You could also say something like, “I won’t have internet for the next week or so. Want to give me your number so we can still chat?”
14. “Shoot me your number so I can text you before our date.”
After you’ve set a time and a place, ask for her number.
That way, you can text her on the day of your date, or even beforehand if you prefer. Having a way to contact someone outside of a dating app is always a good idea, and plus, it shows that you’re serious about taking her out on the day and time that you said.
You might also say, “Cool! Can I give you my number, just in case we need to get ahold of each other?”
15. “What’s your number? I’ll text you the details.”
If the idea of a date has been thrown out there, try this line.
Maybe you haven’t actually confirmed a time or a place yet, so you can do that over text. This will not only tell her that you’re serious about taking her out, but it also shows that you’re probably going to plan a fun date.
This is another one that works best after you’ve had a bit of a rapport going. If you use this line too early, it could sound bossy, which is not a turn-on for most women.
Tips
Try to have a fun conversation before asking for a girl’s number.
If she doesn’t want to give you her number right now, don’t push it—you can always ask someone else.
Remember—getting a phone number shouldn't be the goal of your conversation. Instead, it should be the byproduct of getting closer with the person you're chatting with.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. “I dare you to give me your phone number.”\\nPlay a little game of truth or dare that ends with her number.\\nTry a message like, “Truth or dare?” If she picks dare, you can use the line above, no sweat! If she picks truth, simply ask, “What’s your number?” This is a fun and easy way to ask for a girl’s number that shows you can be a little goofy, too.\\nOr, if you’d rather give out your digits first, you might say, “I dare you to ask me for my number.”\\n2. “1 x your phone number = ?”\\nAsk her to solve a witty math problem to get her number.\\nStart off with something like, “Help! My nephew is doing math homework and he’s stuck on this problem.” She’ll probably respond with something like, “Haha, okay. What is it?” Then, you can send her the message above, and she’ll probably get a good giggle as she types out her number.\\nMessages like these work best after you’ve had a conversation first. You can try it as your opening line, but you’ll have more success if you’ve done a bit of small talk beforehand.\\n3. “There’s something wrong with my cell. It doesn’t have your number in it.”\\nYou can use this as an opening line if you’re bold!\\nMake her laugh with this silly pickup line, and hopefully get her number if she likes you enough. If she’s into it, she’ll probably send you a laughing emoji along with her digits.\\nNot everyone appreciates pickup lines, but if her profile looks like she has a good sense of humor, then she just might.\\n4. “What’s a smart, attractive person like me doing without your phone number?”\\nAct cocky to make her laugh (and get her contact info).\\nIf you’re normally a little self-deprecating, play it a different way by pretending you’re the best of the best. Then, ask for her phone number as she chuckles at your opening line.\\nWhen you text her for the first time, you could say something like, “It’s me! The smartest, most attractive person on Tinder.”\\n5. “📱 ❓”\\nSay everything with just a couple of emojis.\\nIf you aren’t really a conversationalist, you can get your point across by just sending a phone emoji and a question mark. You might want to start out with a few heart eye emojis, just so she knows you like her. Then, she’ll feel great about sending along her digits.\\nYou can even ask a girl out on a date in emojis! Try sending her something like, “🍷🍣🌹❓” to ask her out to a sushi dinner.\\n6. “I forgot my password and the only hint is ‘your number’!”\\nThis goofy line will probably make her smile.\\nMake up the fact that you’ve been locked out of your Facebook or Instagram account, and try to make it seem like a huge deal. Then, tell her that the only password hint it gave you is her number, so she has to give it to you! If she appreciates your joke, you’ll have her digits in no time.\\nPersonalize this message even more by adding her name in your message. For instance, if you’re chatting with Anna, you’d say, “The only hint is ‘Anna’s number’!”\\n7. “If I had your number, we could forget we ever met on Tinder.”\\nA lot of people don’t love the fact that they’re on dating apps.\\nIf you get the vibe that she’s a little fed up with online dating in general, test the waters by telling her if you take it off the app, you could forget this ever happened. You could make it even more funny by sending messages like:\\n“We could make up a story to tell people if they ask how we met! Maybe we sat next to each other at a monster truck rally, or I spotted you across the aisle at our local butcher shop.”\\n\\\"Let's trade numbers! This app sucks.\\\"\\n8. “I don’t check this app very often. What’s your number?”\\nStraight and to the point, this message lets her know you want to talk to her more.\\nIf you have trouble checking your Tinder messages consistently, you might want to ask for her digits so you two can keep chatting. Try using this one after you’ve had a fun conversation so she’s more motivated to keep talking to you.\\nYou might also say something like, “I’m so bad at checking Tinder. Can I give you my number instead?”\\nOr, “As you can probably tell, I’m not great at responding to these messages, haha. Want to shoot me your digits instead?”\\n9. “Tinder is being a little buggy. Want to move this over to WhatsApp?”\\nThis message feels low-key, because you’re just moving messaging platforms.\\nHowever, WhatsApp does require a phone number, so you’ll have to exchange digits with the girl to keep the convo going. Once you have her contact info, send her a text telling her who you are! Then, you can continue your conversation via text.\\nIf you don’t have WhatsApp, you can download it for free on iOS or Android.\\n10. “I hate chatting on these apps. Want to exchange numbers?”\\nBe upfront that you aren’t the biggest fan of Tinder.\\nIf you really don’t love Tinder’s messaging feature, let her know, and ask her if she’d like to keep chatting. Chances are, she probably doesn’t like it very much either, and she’ll be grateful that you made the first move to take things off the app.\\nYou might also say something like, “I’m not a huge fan of Tinder. Want to text me?”\\nOr, “I’m so tired of dating apps. Let’s text instead.”\\n11. “I’d love to call you. What’s your phone number?”\\nIf calling someone is more your style, try this one.\\nMaybe you aren’t the best texter in the world, or maybe she’s told you that she’s a slow texter. You can ask for her number to give her a ring instead—it’s kind of old-fashioned, but some girls really like that! Then, you two can chat over the phone and get to know each other more before setting up a date.\\nThis is a good tactic to use if you’ve already asked her to text you and she’s made an excuse.\\nYou could also say, “I’m pretty bad at texting people back. Want to call me sometime?”\\n12. “Let’s finish the rest of this conversation over text.”\\nLet her know you’re having a fun time and you want to take it to the next level.\\nIf you two are in the middle of a fun convo, pause, and then ask for her number. If she’s been enjoying it as much as you have, she’ll have no problem giving you her digits so that you two can keep talking.\\nYou could also tell her the first part of a joke and then say, “I’ll give you the punchline over text. What’s your number?”\\n13. “I’m headed out of town, I’d love to see you when I get back. What’s your number?”\\nGoing out of town implies that you won’t be on the app for a while.\\nIf she knows that you might be unreachable but she still wants to talk to you, she’ll probably give you her number no problem. Then, you can set up an IRL date for whenever you’re back in town.\\nYou could also say something like, “I won’t have internet for the next week or so. Want to give me your number so we can still chat?”\\n14. “Shoot me your number so I can text you before our date.”\\nAfter you’ve set a time and a place, ask for her number.\\nThat way, you can text her on the day of your date, or even beforehand if you prefer. Having a way to contact someone outside of a dating app is always a good idea, and plus, it shows that you’re serious about taking her out on the day and time that you said.\\nYou might also say, “Cool! Can I give you my number, just in case we need to get ahold of each other?”\\n15. “What’s your number? I’ll text you the details.”\\nIf the idea of a date has been thrown out there, try this line.\\nMaybe you haven’t actually confirmed a time or a place yet, so you can do that over text. This will not only tell her that you’re serious about taking her out, but it also shows that you’re probably going to plan a fun date.\\nThis is another one that works best after you’ve had a bit of a rapport going. If you use this line too early, it could sound bossy, which is not a turn-on for most women.\\nTips\\nTry to have a fun conversation before asking for a girl’s number.\\nIf she doesn’t want to give you her number right now, don’t push it—you can always ask someone else.\\nRemember—getting a phone number shouldn't be the goal of your conversation. Instead, it should be the byproduct of getting closer with the person you're chatting with.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve been chatting with a girl on Tinder, and it’s going really well. But taking it from a convo on the app to a convo over text can feel a little tough. Fortunately, there are tons of different ways you can ask for a girl’s digits without seeming pushy. We’ve compiled some of the best lines you can use to get a girl’s number and keep chatting with her off the app.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"“I dare you to give me your phone number.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Play a little game of truth or dare that ends with her number.\", \"描述\": \"Try a message like, “Truth or dare?” If she picks dare, you can use the line above, no sweat! If she picks truth, simply ask, “What’s your number?” This is a fun and easy way to ask for a girl’s number that shows you can be a little goofy, too.\\nOr, if you’d rather give out your digits first, you might say, “I dare you to ask me for my number.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"“1 x your phone number = ?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask her to solve a witty math problem to get her number.\", \"描述\": \"Start off with something like, “Help! My nephew is doing math homework and he’s stuck on this problem.” She’ll probably respond with something like, “Haha, okay. What is it?” Then, you can send her the message above, and she’ll probably get a good giggle as she types out her number.\\nMessages like these work best after you’ve had a conversation first. You can try it as your opening line, but you’ll have more success if you’ve done a bit of small talk beforehand.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"“There’s something wrong with my cell. It doesn’t have your number in it.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"You can use this as an opening line if you’re bold!\", \"描述\": \"Make her laugh with this silly pickup line, and hopefully get her number if she likes you enough. If she’s into it, she’ll probably send you a laughing emoji along with her digits.\\nNot everyone appreciates pickup lines, but if her profile looks like she has a good sense of humor, then she just might.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"“What’s a smart, attractive person like me doing without your phone number?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Act cocky to make her laugh (and get her contact info).\", \"描述\": \"If you’re normally a little self-deprecating, play it a different way by pretending you’re the best of the best. Then, ask for her phone number as she chuckles at your opening line.\\nWhen you text her for the first time, you could say something like, “It’s me! The smartest, most attractive person on Tinder.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"“📱 ❓”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Say everything with just a couple of emojis.\", \"描述\": \"If you aren’t really a conversationalist, you can get your point across by just sending a phone emoji and a question mark. You might want to start out with a few heart eye emojis, just so she knows you like her. Then, she’ll feel great about sending along her digits.\\nYou can even ask a girl out on a date in emojis! Try sending her something like, “🍷🍣🌹❓” to ask her out to a sushi dinner.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"“I forgot my password and the only hint is ‘your number’!”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This goofy line will probably make her smile.\", \"描述\": \"Make up the fact that you’ve been locked out of your Facebook or Instagram account, and try to make it seem like a huge deal. Then, tell her that the only password hint it gave you is her number, so she has to give it to you! If she appreciates your joke, you’ll have her digits in no time.\\nPersonalize this message even more by adding her name in your message. For instance, if you’re chatting with Anna, you’d say, “The only hint is ‘Anna’s number’!”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"“If I had your number, we could forget we ever met on Tinder.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"A lot of people don’t love the fact that they’re on dating apps.\", \"描述\": \"If you get the vibe that she’s a little fed up with online dating in general, test the waters by telling her if you take it off the app, you could forget this ever happened. You could make it even more funny by sending messages like:\\n“We could make up a story to tell people if they ask how we met! Maybe we sat next to each other at a monster truck rally, or I spotted you across the aisle at our local butcher shop.”\\n\\\"Let's trade numbers! This app sucks.\\\"\"}]}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"“I don’t check this app very often. What’s your number?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Straight and to the point, this message lets her know you want to talk to her more.\", \"描述\": \"If you have trouble checking your Tinder messages consistently, you might want to ask for her digits so you two can keep chatting. Try using this one after you’ve had a fun conversation so she’s more motivated to keep talking to you.\\nYou might also say something like, “I’m so bad at checking Tinder. Can I give you my number instead?”\\nOr, “As you can probably tell, I’m not great at responding to these messages, haha. Want to shoot me your digits instead?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"“Tinder is being a little buggy. Want to move this over to WhatsApp?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"This message feels low-key, because you’re just moving messaging platforms.\", \"描述\": \"However, WhatsApp does require a phone number, so you’ll have to exchange digits with the girl to keep the convo going. Once you have her contact info, send her a text telling her who you are! Then, you can continue your conversation via text.\\nIf you don’t have WhatsApp, you can download it for free on iOS or Android.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"“I hate chatting on these apps. Want to exchange numbers?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be upfront that you aren’t the biggest fan of Tinder.\", \"描述\": \"If you really don’t love Tinder’s messaging feature, let her know, and ask her if she’d like to keep chatting. Chances are, she probably doesn’t like it very much either, and she’ll be grateful that you made the first move to take things off the app.\\nYou might also say something like, “I’m not a huge fan of Tinder. Want to text me?”\\nOr, “I’m so tired of dating apps. Let’s text instead.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 11, \"标题\": \"“I’d love to call you. What’s your phone number?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If calling someone is more your style, try this one.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you aren’t the best texter in the world, or maybe she’s told you that she’s a slow texter. You can ask for her number to give her a ring instead—it’s kind of old-fashioned, but some girls really like that! Then, you two can chat over the phone and get to know each other more before setting up a date.\\nThis is a good tactic to use if you’ve already asked her to text you and she’s made an excuse.\\nYou could also say, “I’m pretty bad at texting people back. Want to call me sometime?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 12, \"标题\": \"“Let’s finish the rest of this conversation over text.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Let her know you’re having a fun time and you want to take it to the next level.\", \"描述\": \"If you two are in the middle of a fun convo, pause, and then ask for her number. If she’s been enjoying it as much as you have, she’ll have no problem giving you her digits so that you two can keep talking.\\nYou could also tell her the first part of a joke and then say, “I’ll give you the punchline over text. What’s your number?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 13, \"标题\": \"“I’m headed out of town, I’d love to see you when I get back. What’s your number?”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Going out of town implies that you won’t be on the app for a while.\", \"描述\": \"If she knows that you might be unreachable but she still wants to talk to you, she’ll probably give you her number no problem. Then, you can set up an IRL date for whenever you’re back in town.\\nYou could also say something like, “I won’t have internet for the next week or so. Want to give me your number so we can still chat?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 14, \"标题\": \"“Shoot me your number so I can text you before our date.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"After you’ve set a time and a place, ask for her number.\", \"描述\": \"That way, you can text her on the day of your date, or even beforehand if you prefer. Having a way to contact someone outside of a dating app is always a good idea, and plus, it shows that you’re serious about taking her out on the day and time that you said.\\nYou might also say, “Cool! Can I give you my number, just in case we need to get ahold of each other?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 15, \"标题\": \"“What’s your number? I’ll text you the details.”\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"If the idea of a date has been thrown out there, try this line.\", \"描述\": \"Maybe you haven’t actually confirmed a time or a place yet, so you can do that over text. This will not only tell her that you’re serious about taking her out, but it also shows that you’re probably going to plan a fun date.\\nThis is another one that works best after you’ve had a bit of a rapport going. If you use this line too early, it could sound bossy, which is not a turn-on for most women.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try to have a fun conversation before asking for a girl’s number.\\n\", \"If she doesn’t want to give you her number right now, don’t push it—you can always ask someone else.\\n\", \"Remember—getting a phone number shouldn't be the goal of your conversation. Instead, it should be the byproduct of getting closer with the person you're chatting with.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,604 | How to Get the Help You Need: What to Say & When to Say It | 1. Asking for Help
1-1. Choose the right time.
Don’t ask someone for help when they are obviously busy or distracted. For example, don’t ask your professor for help with homework right as they are trying to start class. Similarly, don’t ask your boss for advice as they are rushing out the door.
If you’re not sure whether or not it is a good time, just ask. You can say, “I’ve love to ask for your help with something. Is there a time that’s good for you to talk?”
1-2. Speak up.
In most cases, if you don’t ask for help you won’t receive it. Sometimes people might be hesitant to step up and offer help. If you need something, speak up and ask.
Maybe you’re traveling alone in a new city. If you’re lost, ask for directions. Stop into a nearby store, or ask the bus driver which stop you need.
You may feel vulnerable speaking up for help, but a certain degree of vulnerability can help you find the help you need. Don't feel weak, insecure, or embarrassed by asking for help.
1-3. Be specific.
People aren’t mind readers. Instead of just saying, “I need help,” clearly state precisely what it is that you need. For example, instead of saying to your teacher, “I’m confused. Can you help me?”, say, “I don’t understand how to solve the equation for X. Can you please show me a sample problem?”
Instead of saying to your partner, “I need you to help more around the house,” you may say, “Could you please take the trash out and also do a load of laundry, please?”
1-4. Frame the request in a positive way.
Sometimes it’s tempting to whine a little bit. This could be a defense mechanism if you feel uncomfortable asking for help. It will help if you ask in a positive way instead.
Don’t tell your co-worker, “I’m so swamped! Could you cover for me at the meeting this afternoon?” That might imply that you’re busy, but you don’t think your co-worker is. Instead, say, “I know we’re both busy, but you seem to be handling the stress better than me. Do you have time to take my place at the meeting this afternoon so that I can get caught up?”
1-5. Don't be self-deprecating.
No one wants to hear you put yourself down. Try not to talk negatively about yourself when asking for help. Instead, act confident. You'll be more likely to receive the help you need.
Try not to say things like, “I’m so stupid. I’ll never get Algebra. Can you help me again?” Instead, say, “This is complicated, but I know I can do it. Would you mind showing me another sample problem?”
1-6. Be persistent.
Sometimes the help you receive might not turn out the way you expected. That can be frustrating. However, it is important not to give up. Keep trying to get help and make it work for you.
Maybe you just had your first mentoring session with your boss. You might feel like you didn’t receive the sort of helpful advice that you were hoping for. Instead of canceling your next meeting, try again. Prepare a list of specific questions that you have for them.
If you asked someone for help and they didn't come through, don't be afraid to ask someone else. Sometimes, you may need to reach out to a few people before getting assistance.
1-7. Gain credibility by helping others.
People will be more likely to agree to help you if you have been known to help others. Build a reputation as a helpful person. If you see a co-worker who has too much on their plate, offer your assistance. They’ll likely return the favor when you find yourself frazzled.
If your friend is sick, offer to drop off some food for them. You’ll likely receive the same kind treatment when you find yourself in a bind.
2. What Kind of Help Do You Need?
2-1. Make a list of what you need.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed in general and just want some help. However, you’ll be better prepared to ask for help if you can clearly articulate your needs. For example, maybe you’ve recently had surgery and need a lot of help just getting things done. Your list might look like this:
Go to the grocery store
Take the kids to dentist appointments
Walk the dog
Help with depression
2-2. Rate the importance of each need.
Assign a number from 1-10 to each need. A 10 means that this task is essential, a 1 means that it is not that important. This will help you figure out your most pressing needs. You can start with getting help for those, and then work your way down the list. For example, it’s normal to struggle with depression after a surgery. That would be rated a 10, since it can impact your ability to take care of other needs.
2-3. Write down a list of people who could help you.
While it might seem daunting to ask for help, remember that there are likely plenty of people in your life who will be more than happy to help you. Start with family and close friends and then think about other parts of your network. Your list might include:
Your partner
Your siblings
Your children
Your best friend
Your neighbors
2-4. Match each person with one specific need.
Now it is time to compare your lists. Choose which person to ask for help with each task. Maybe your sister is a therapist. Ask her for some ideas about how to cope with depression. If your kids are old enough, they can walk the dog. Ask your partner to take a break from work to make sure the kids get to the dentist. Ask your neighbor if they would mind picking up a few things at the grocery store the next time they make a run. Choose people based on their abilities and their relationship to you.
This is called delegating tasks. Delegating tasks to people you trust can help you reduce stress, especially in times when you need extra help.
2-5. Recognize that it is healthy and smart to ask for help.
It is important to remember that it is not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows that you are strong enough to voice your own needs. You won’t be able to do much good for others if you don’t ask for the help you need. It’s also smart to ask for help. If you don’t, you might find your situation worsening instead of getting better.
3. Accepting Help Graciously
3-1. Acknowledge the help you received.
Even though you might feel embarrassed that you needed help, don’t pretend like it never happened. Directly acknowledge that you appreciate what the other person did for you. Try to make this acknowledgment shortly after receiving help.
If your professor stayed after class to go over your paper with you, say, “Thanks for staying. I appreciate your time.”
Maybe your teen did some extra chores around the house when you were working late. Say, “That was really helpful of you to get dinner started.”
3-2. Be sincere.
When someone is helping you, it’s okay to be a little bit vulnerable. The other person might appreciate knowing that they are genuinely helping you. For example, you could say, “Wow, thanks for watching the kids this evening. We really needed a date night!” Showing that your need was genuine is a good way to be sincere.
3-3. Explain how they helped you.
Be specific when you thank someone. Let them know exactly what they did for you. You could say to your therapist, “Thanks for this session. I think you’ve given me some good tools to start overcoming my anxiety.”
You could tell your partner, “Thanks for making dinner tonight. It meant a lot to me to be able to just put my feet up after a long day at work.”
Tips
It’s okay to ask for help. Everyone needs help at some point.
Make sure to say thank you.
You could even send your helper a gift or a card to express your gratitude.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Asking for Help\\n1-1. Choose the right time.\\nDon’t ask someone for help when they are obviously busy or distracted. For example, don’t ask your professor for help with homework right as they are trying to start class. Similarly, don’t ask your boss for advice as they are rushing out the door.\\nIf you’re not sure whether or not it is a good time, just ask. You can say, “I’ve love to ask for your help with something. Is there a time that’s good for you to talk?”\\n1-2. Speak up.\\nIn most cases, if you don’t ask for help you won’t receive it. Sometimes people might be hesitant to step up and offer help. If you need something, speak up and ask.\\nMaybe you’re traveling alone in a new city. If you’re lost, ask for directions. Stop into a nearby store, or ask the bus driver which stop you need.\\nYou may feel vulnerable speaking up for help, but a certain degree of vulnerability can help you find the help you need. Don't feel weak, insecure, or embarrassed by asking for help.\\n1-3. Be specific.\\nPeople aren’t mind readers. Instead of just saying, “I need help,” clearly state precisely what it is that you need. For example, instead of saying to your teacher, “I’m confused. Can you help me?”, say, “I don’t understand how to solve the equation for X. Can you please show me a sample problem?”\\nInstead of saying to your partner, “I need you to help more around the house,” you may say, “Could you please take the trash out and also do a load of laundry, please?”\\n1-4. Frame the request in a positive way.\\nSometimes it’s tempting to whine a little bit. This could be a defense mechanism if you feel uncomfortable asking for help. It will help if you ask in a positive way instead.\\nDon’t tell your co-worker, “I’m so swamped! Could you cover for me at the meeting this afternoon?” That might imply that you’re busy, but you don’t think your co-worker is. Instead, say, “I know we’re both busy, but you seem to be handling the stress better than me. Do you have time to take my place at the meeting this afternoon so that I can get caught up?”\\n1-5. Don't be self-deprecating.\\nNo one wants to hear you put yourself down. Try not to talk negatively about yourself when asking for help. Instead, act confident. You'll be more likely to receive the help you need.\\nTry not to say things like, “I’m so stupid. I’ll never get Algebra. Can you help me again?” Instead, say, “This is complicated, but I know I can do it. Would you mind showing me another sample problem?”\\n1-6. Be persistent.\\nSometimes the help you receive might not turn out the way you expected. That can be frustrating. However, it is important not to give up. Keep trying to get help and make it work for you.\\nMaybe you just had your first mentoring session with your boss. You might feel like you didn’t receive the sort of helpful advice that you were hoping for. Instead of canceling your next meeting, try again. Prepare a list of specific questions that you have for them.\\nIf you asked someone for help and they didn't come through, don't be afraid to ask someone else. Sometimes, you may need to reach out to a few people before getting assistance.\\n1-7. Gain credibility by helping others.\\nPeople will be more likely to agree to help you if you have been known to help others. Build a reputation as a helpful person. If you see a co-worker who has too much on their plate, offer your assistance. They’ll likely return the favor when you find yourself frazzled.\\nIf your friend is sick, offer to drop off some food for them. You’ll likely receive the same kind treatment when you find yourself in a bind.\\n2. What Kind of Help Do You Need?\\n2-1. Make a list of what you need.\\nIt’s normal to feel overwhelmed in general and just want some help. However, you’ll be better prepared to ask for help if you can clearly articulate your needs. For example, maybe you’ve recently had surgery and need a lot of help just getting things done. Your list might look like this:\\nGo to the grocery store\\nTake the kids to dentist appointments\\nWalk the dog\\nHelp with depression\\n2-2. Rate the importance of each need.\\nAssign a number from 1-10 to each need. A 10 means that this task is essential, a 1 means that it is not that important. This will help you figure out your most pressing needs. You can start with getting help for those, and then work your way down the list. For example, it’s normal to struggle with depression after a surgery. That would be rated a 10, since it can impact your ability to take care of other needs.\\n2-3. Write down a list of people who could help you.\\nWhile it might seem daunting to ask for help, remember that there are likely plenty of people in your life who will be more than happy to help you. Start with family and close friends and then think about other parts of your network. Your list might include:\\nYour partner\\nYour siblings\\nYour children\\nYour best friend\\nYour neighbors\\n2-4. Match each person with one specific need.\\nNow it is time to compare your lists. Choose which person to ask for help with each task. Maybe your sister is a therapist. Ask her for some ideas about how to cope with depression. If your kids are old enough, they can walk the dog. Ask your partner to take a break from work to make sure the kids get to the dentist. Ask your neighbor if they would mind picking up a few things at the grocery store the next time they make a run. Choose people based on their abilities and their relationship to you.\\nThis is called delegating tasks. Delegating tasks to people you trust can help you reduce stress, especially in times when you need extra help.\\n2-5. Recognize that it is healthy and smart to ask for help.\\nIt is important to remember that it is not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows that you are strong enough to voice your own needs. You won’t be able to do much good for others if you don’t ask for the help you need. It’s also smart to ask for help. If you don’t, you might find your situation worsening instead of getting better.\\n3. Accepting Help Graciously\\n3-1. Acknowledge the help you received.\\nEven though you might feel embarrassed that you needed help, don’t pretend like it never happened. Directly acknowledge that you appreciate what the other person did for you. Try to make this acknowledgment shortly after receiving help.\\nIf your professor stayed after class to go over your paper with you, say, “Thanks for staying. I appreciate your time.”\\nMaybe your teen did some extra chores around the house when you were working late. Say, “That was really helpful of you to get dinner started.”\\n3-2. Be sincere.\\nWhen someone is helping you, it’s okay to be a little bit vulnerable. The other person might appreciate knowing that they are genuinely helping you. For example, you could say, “Wow, thanks for watching the kids this evening. We really needed a date night!” Showing that your need was genuine is a good way to be sincere.\\n3-3. Explain how they helped you.\\nBe specific when you thank someone. Let them know exactly what they did for you. You could say to your therapist, “Thanks for this session. I think you’ve given me some good tools to start overcoming my anxiety.”\\nYou could tell your partner, “Thanks for making dinner tonight. It meant a lot to me to be able to just put my feet up after a long day at work.”\\nTips\\nIt’s okay to ask for help. Everyone needs help at some point.\\nMake sure to say thank you.\\nYou could even send your helper a gift or a card to express your gratitude.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Maybe you’re a new parent overwhelmed by keeping the house in order. Or maybe you’re a student struggling with a tough homework assignment. Everyone has been in a situation where they could use some help. Unfortunately, it can feel tough to ask for help. Maybe you feel embarrassed or scared that you’ll be turned down. Don’t worry! Once you figure out what you need, you can make a polite and organized request. Chances are someone will be happy to give you the help you need!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Asking for Help\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Choose the right time.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t ask someone for help when they are obviously busy or distracted. For example, don’t ask your professor for help with homework right as they are trying to start class. Similarly, don’t ask your boss for advice as they are rushing out the door.\\nIf you’re not sure whether or not it is a good time, just ask. You can say, “I’ve love to ask for your help with something. Is there a time that’s good for you to talk?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Speak up.\", \"描述\": \"In most cases, if you don’t ask for help you won’t receive it. Sometimes people might be hesitant to step up and offer help. If you need something, speak up and ask.\\nMaybe you’re traveling alone in a new city. If you’re lost, ask for directions. Stop into a nearby store, or ask the bus driver which stop you need.\\nYou may feel vulnerable speaking up for help, but a certain degree of vulnerability can help you find the help you need. Don't feel weak, insecure, or embarrassed by asking for help.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Be specific.\", \"描述\": \"People aren’t mind readers. Instead of just saying, “I need help,” clearly state precisely what it is that you need. For example, instead of saying to your teacher, “I’m confused. Can you help me?”, say, “I don’t understand how to solve the equation for X. Can you please show me a sample problem?”\\nInstead of saying to your partner, “I need you to help more around the house,” you may say, “Could you please take the trash out and also do a load of laundry, please?”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Frame the request in a positive way.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes it’s tempting to whine a little bit. This could be a defense mechanism if you feel uncomfortable asking for help. It will help if you ask in a positive way instead.\\nDon’t tell your co-worker, “I’m so swamped! Could you cover for me at the meeting this afternoon?” That might imply that you’re busy, but you don’t think your co-worker is. Instead, say, “I know we’re both busy, but you seem to be handling the stress better than me. Do you have time to take my place at the meeting this afternoon so that I can get caught up?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Don't be self-deprecating.\", \"描述\": \"No one wants to hear you put yourself down. Try not to talk negatively about yourself when asking for help. Instead, act confident. You'll be more likely to receive the help you need.\\nTry not to say things like, “I’m so stupid. I’ll never get Algebra. Can you help me again?” Instead, say, “This is complicated, but I know I can do it. Would you mind showing me another sample problem?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Be persistent.\", \"描述\": \"Sometimes the help you receive might not turn out the way you expected. That can be frustrating. However, it is important not to give up. Keep trying to get help and make it work for you.\\nMaybe you just had your first mentoring session with your boss. You might feel like you didn’t receive the sort of helpful advice that you were hoping for. Instead of canceling your next meeting, try again. Prepare a list of specific questions that you have for them.\\nIf you asked someone for help and they didn't come through, don't be afraid to ask someone else. Sometimes, you may need to reach out to a few people before getting assistance.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Gain credibility by helping others.\", \"描述\": \"People will be more likely to agree to help you if you have been known to help others. Build a reputation as a helpful person. If you see a co-worker who has too much on their plate, offer your assistance. They’ll likely return the favor when you find yourself frazzled.\\nIf your friend is sick, offer to drop off some food for them. You’ll likely receive the same kind treatment when you find yourself in a bind.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"What Kind of Help Do You Need?\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make a list of what you need.\", \"描述\": \"It’s normal to feel overwhelmed in general and just want some help. However, you’ll be better prepared to ask for help if you can clearly articulate your needs. For example, maybe you’ve recently had surgery and need a lot of help just getting things done. Your list might look like this:\\nGo to the grocery store\\nTake the kids to dentist appointments\\nWalk the dog\\nHelp with depression\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Rate the importance of each need.\", \"描述\": \"Assign a number from 1-10 to each need. A 10 means that this task is essential, a 1 means that it is not that important. This will help you figure out your most pressing needs. You can start with getting help for those, and then work your way down the list. For example, it’s normal to struggle with depression after a surgery. That would be rated a 10, since it can impact your ability to take care of other needs.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write down a list of people who could help you.\", \"描述\": \"While it might seem daunting to ask for help, remember that there are likely plenty of people in your life who will be more than happy to help you. Start with family and close friends and then think about other parts of your network. Your list might include:\\nYour partner\\nYour siblings\\nYour children\\nYour best friend\\nYour neighbors\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Match each person with one specific need.\", \"描述\": \"Now it is time to compare your lists. Choose which person to ask for help with each task. Maybe your sister is a therapist. Ask her for some ideas about how to cope with depression. If your kids are old enough, they can walk the dog. Ask your partner to take a break from work to make sure the kids get to the dentist. Ask your neighbor if they would mind picking up a few things at the grocery store the next time they make a run. Choose people based on their abilities and their relationship to you.\\nThis is called delegating tasks. Delegating tasks to people you trust can help you reduce stress, especially in times when you need extra help.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Recognize that it is healthy and smart to ask for help.\", \"描述\": \"It is important to remember that it is not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows that you are strong enough to voice your own needs. You won’t be able to do much good for others if you don’t ask for the help you need. It’s also smart to ask for help. If you don’t, you might find your situation worsening instead of getting better.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Accepting Help Graciously\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Acknowledge the help you received.\", \"描述\": \"Even though you might feel embarrassed that you needed help, don’t pretend like it never happened. Directly acknowledge that you appreciate what the other person did for you. Try to make this acknowledgment shortly after receiving help.\\nIf your professor stayed after class to go over your paper with you, say, “Thanks for staying. I appreciate your time.”\\nMaybe your teen did some extra chores around the house when you were working late. Say, “That was really helpful of you to get dinner started.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be sincere.\", \"描述\": \"When someone is helping you, it’s okay to be a little bit vulnerable. The other person might appreciate knowing that they are genuinely helping you. For example, you could say, “Wow, thanks for watching the kids this evening. We really needed a date night!” Showing that your need was genuine is a good way to be sincere.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Explain how they helped you.\", \"描述\": \"Be specific when you thank someone. Let them know exactly what they did for you. You could say to your therapist, “Thanks for this session. I think you’ve given me some good tools to start overcoming my anxiety.”\\nYou could tell your partner, “Thanks for making dinner tonight. It meant a lot to me to be able to just put my feet up after a long day at work.”\"}], \"小提示\": [\"It’s okay to ask for help. Everyone needs help at some point.\\n\", \"Make sure to say thank you.\\n\", \"You could even send your helper a gift or a card to express your gratitude.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,605 | How to Ask for Identification (ID) in US | 1. Steps
1-1. Understand all laws pertaining to these sales.
It's also important to know your store rules. Every store within every state is going to vary when it comes to these rules. Ask your manager if you're unsure what yours are.
Most state/federal law require a customer to look at least 27 or older to not be carded.
Most retailers require a customer to be/look at least 40.
Some retailers require all customers to be carded.
All customers must be at least 18 to purchase tobacco or lottery. Some state laws are pushing or have pushed the age for tobacco to 21.
All customers must be at least 21 to purchase alcohol in any form.
1-2. Recognize the accepted forms of identification.
These are the only types of legally recognizes IDs.
Any state issued ID card/driver's licenses
Current military/armed forces ID cards
Passports/passport cards
Green cards
Foreign IDs
1-3. Evaluate the customer wanting to buy age-restricted products.
Take a good look at their face, hair, and etc. Look for obvious signs of age (or lack thereof): beards, wrinkles, gray hairs, etc. Try not to stare but just give them a quick once over. If they look young enough or you have to card everyone keep going. Note this isn't always fool proof but is a good start.
1-4. Ask for their ID firmly but politely.
Try something like:
"May I see your ID, please?"
"Do you happen to have an ID that I could look at?"
"Could you take your ID out please?"
"I just need to scan/look at your ID please."
1-5. Get the ID in your hands.
A common trick tried by many is to just flash it at you, or keep it in the wallet. Ask for it again or for it to be taken out. Refuse the sale if they refuse. Many fake IDs will look real on the front, but be completely blank or just copied on the back. You may not be able to spot a difference, but you might feel a difference.
1-6. Inspect the ID.
Once you have it in your hands, give it a good once over. Try not to take too long. Some common things to look for include:
Date of birth. Ensure they are overage. Most times this is located on the front. Military service IDs have it located on the back.
Expiration date. Is it current? If it's expired you shouldn't accept it.
Picture/description. Consider height, eye color, and the picture. Hair style changes, people lose/gain weight, but ensure that you are looking at the same person. Kids borrow parents' or friends' cards all the time.
Evidence of tampering. Is it real? Look for variations of font color or size, flaking, lack of holographic state seals, blank backs, etc.
1-7. Optional:
Scan the barcode on the back if you have the means. This way the system will tell you if it's real if they're overage, and etc. You still need to make sure it's their ID if you do this but can cut down the inspection time.
1-8. Hand the card back.
So you don't forget, hand the card back immediately. If your register makes you type in their birthdate, do so while it's fresh in your mind.
1-9. Refuse or carry on with the sale as needed.
If you have any reason to doubt the sale, refuse it. You could try something like:
"I'm sorry. I can't accept this ID do you happen to have another on you?"
"I'm sorry. I can't sell this to you. You have to be (age) to buy this, and we could both get into a lot of trouble."
1-10. Stay strong and do not relent.
Some customers may yell at you or get angry for being carded or having their sale refused. Stay firm and do not give in. Explain that it's law, and/or company policy and that you could get fined or fired if you don't comply.
Tips
If you see that a customer's ID is expired or going to expire, let them know politely if you want. A lot of people don't notice this and would appreciate the heads up to save them a lot of trouble, "Sir/Ma'am, did you know that your ID expires in three days?"
Expired IDs, permits to carry weapons, and many others still show valid birthdays and photos but are not legally acceptable forms of ID. Accept them at your own risk.
Vertical (Up and down) state ID's indicate that a customer is under the age of 21. If so, there will be a stamp somewhere near the dates that states, under the age of 18/21 until (date).
Warnings
When in doubt, ask for ID. The consequences for selling to a minor are not worth it and can include up to $5,000 in fines, loss of job, and/or jail time minimum.[2]
X
Research source
Asking for ID or refusing a sale is never wrong.
Selling alcohol to a visibly intoxicated person is also illegal in many states.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Steps\\n1-1. Understand all laws pertaining to these sales.\\nIt's also important to know your store rules. Every store within every state is going to vary when it comes to these rules. Ask your manager if you're unsure what yours are.\\nMost state/federal law require a customer to look at least 27 or older to not be carded.\\nMost retailers require a customer to be/look at least 40.\\nSome retailers require all customers to be carded.\\nAll customers must be at least 18 to purchase tobacco or lottery. Some state laws are pushing or have pushed the age for tobacco to 21.\\nAll customers must be at least 21 to purchase alcohol in any form.\\n1-2. Recognize the accepted forms of identification.\\nThese are the only types of legally recognizes IDs.\\nAny state issued ID card/driver's licenses\\nCurrent military/armed forces ID cards\\nPassports/passport cards\\nGreen cards\\nForeign IDs\\n1-3. Evaluate the customer wanting to buy age-restricted products.\\nTake a good look at their face, hair, and etc. Look for obvious signs of age (or lack thereof): beards, wrinkles, gray hairs, etc. Try not to stare but just give them a quick once over. If they look young enough or you have to card everyone keep going. Note this isn't always fool proof but is a good start.\\n1-4. Ask for their ID firmly but politely.\\nTry something like:\\n\\\"May I see your ID, please?\\\"\\n\\\"Do you happen to have an ID that I could look at?\\\"\\n\\\"Could you take your ID out please?\\\"\\n\\\"I just need to scan/look at your ID please.\\\"\\n1-5. Get the ID in your hands.\\nA common trick tried by many is to just flash it at you, or keep it in the wallet. Ask for it again or for it to be taken out. Refuse the sale if they refuse. Many fake IDs will look real on the front, but be completely blank or just copied on the back. You may not be able to spot a difference, but you might feel a difference.\\n1-6. Inspect the ID.\\nOnce you have it in your hands, give it a good once over. Try not to take too long. Some common things to look for include:\\nDate of birth. Ensure they are overage. Most times this is located on the front. Military service IDs have it located on the back.\\nExpiration date. Is it current? If it's expired you shouldn't accept it.\\nPicture/description. Consider height, eye color, and the picture. Hair style changes, people lose/gain weight, but ensure that you are looking at the same person. Kids borrow parents' or friends' cards all the time.\\nEvidence of tampering. Is it real? Look for variations of font color or size, flaking, lack of holographic state seals, blank backs, etc.\\n1-7. Optional:\\nScan the barcode on the back if you have the means. This way the system will tell you if it's real if they're overage, and etc. You still need to make sure it's their ID if you do this but can cut down the inspection time.\\n1-8. Hand the card back.\\nSo you don't forget, hand the card back immediately. If your register makes you type in their birthdate, do so while it's fresh in your mind.\\n1-9. Refuse or carry on with the sale as needed.\\nIf you have any reason to doubt the sale, refuse it. You could try something like:\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I can't accept this ID do you happen to have another on you?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I can't sell this to you. You have to be (age) to buy this, and we could both get into a lot of trouble.\\\"\\n1-10. Stay strong and do not relent.\\nSome customers may yell at you or get angry for being carded or having their sale refused. Stay firm and do not give in. Explain that it's law, and/or company policy and that you could get fined or fired if you don't comply.\\nTips\\nIf you see that a customer's ID is expired or going to expire, let them know politely if you want. A lot of people don't notice this and would appreciate the heads up to save them a lot of trouble, \\\"Sir/Ma'am, did you know that your ID expires in three days?\\\"\\nExpired IDs, permits to carry weapons, and many others still show valid birthdays and photos but are not legally acceptable forms of ID. Accept them at your own risk.\\nVertical (Up and down) state ID's indicate that a customer is under the age of 21. If so, there will be a stamp somewhere near the dates that states, under the age of 18/21 until (date).\\nWarnings\\nWhen in doubt, ask for ID. The consequences for selling to a minor are not worth it and can include up to $5,000 in fines, loss of job, and/or jail time minimum.[2]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Asking for ID or refusing a sale is never wrong.\\nSelling alcohol to a visibly intoxicated person is also illegal in many states.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Age restricted purchases such as tobacco, alcohol, and lottery tickets are very popular. It's important for employees at stores that sell these items to ensure they're only selling to those that can legally buy them. Start at step one to learn how to card everyone professionally and accurately.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Steps\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Understand all laws pertaining to these sales.\", \"描述\": \"It's also important to know your store rules. Every store within every state is going to vary when it comes to these rules. Ask your manager if you're unsure what yours are.\\nMost state/federal law require a customer to look at least 27 or older to not be carded.\\nMost retailers require a customer to be/look at least 40.\\nSome retailers require all customers to be carded.\\nAll customers must be at least 18 to purchase tobacco or lottery. Some state laws are pushing or have pushed the age for tobacco to 21.\\nAll customers must be at least 21 to purchase alcohol in any form.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Recognize the accepted forms of identification.\", \"描述\": \"These are the only types of legally recognizes IDs.\\nAny state issued ID card/driver's licenses\\nCurrent military/armed forces ID cards\\nPassports/passport cards\\nGreen cards\\nForeign IDs\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the customer wanting to buy age-restricted products.\", \"描述\": \"Take a good look at their face, hair, and etc. Look for obvious signs of age (or lack thereof): beards, wrinkles, gray hairs, etc. Try not to stare but just give them a quick once over. If they look young enough or you have to card everyone keep going. Note this isn't always fool proof but is a good start.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for their ID firmly but politely.\", \"描述\": \"Try something like:\\n\\\"May I see your ID, please?\\\"\\n\\\"Do you happen to have an ID that I could look at?\\\"\\n\\\"Could you take your ID out please?\\\"\\n\\\"I just need to scan/look at your ID please.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Get the ID in your hands.\", \"描述\": \"A common trick tried by many is to just flash it at you, or keep it in the wallet. Ask for it again or for it to be taken out. Refuse the sale if they refuse. Many fake IDs will look real on the front, but be completely blank or just copied on the back. You may not be able to spot a difference, but you might feel a difference.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Inspect the ID.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have it in your hands, give it a good once over. Try not to take too long. Some common things to look for include:\\nDate of birth. Ensure they are overage. Most times this is located on the front. Military service IDs have it located on the back.\\nExpiration date. Is it current? If it's expired you shouldn't accept it.\\nPicture/description. Consider height, eye color, and the picture. Hair style changes, people lose/gain weight, but ensure that you are looking at the same person. Kids borrow parents' or friends' cards all the time.\\nEvidence of tampering. Is it real? Look for variations of font color or size, flaking, lack of holographic state seals, blank backs, etc.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Optional:\", \"描述\": \"Scan the barcode on the back if you have the means. This way the system will tell you if it's real if they're overage, and etc. You still need to make sure it's their ID if you do this but can cut down the inspection time.\"}, {\"编号\": 8, \"标题\": \"Hand the card back.\", \"描述\": \"So you don't forget, hand the card back immediately. If your register makes you type in their birthdate, do so while it's fresh in your mind.\"}, {\"编号\": 9, \"标题\": \"Refuse or carry on with the sale as needed.\", \"描述\": \"If you have any reason to doubt the sale, refuse it. You could try something like:\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I can't accept this ID do you happen to have another on you?\\\"\\n\\\"I'm sorry. I can't sell this to you. You have to be (age) to buy this, and we could both get into a lot of trouble.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 10, \"标题\": \"Stay strong and do not relent.\", \"描述\": \"Some customers may yell at you or get angry for being carded or having their sale refused. Stay firm and do not give in. Explain that it's law, and/or company policy and that you could get fined or fired if you don't comply.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"If you see that a customer's ID is expired or going to expire, let them know politely if you want. A lot of people don't notice this and would appreciate the heads up to save them a lot of trouble, \\\"Sir/Ma'am, did you know that your ID expires in three days?\\\"\\n\", \"Expired IDs, permits to carry weapons, and many others still show valid birthdays and photos but are not legally acceptable forms of ID. Accept them at your own risk.\\n\", \"Vertical (Up and down) state ID's indicate that a customer is under the age of 21. If so, there will be a stamp somewhere near the dates that states, under the age of 18/21 until (date).\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"When in doubt, ask for ID. The consequences for selling to a minor are not worth it and can include up to $5,000 in fines, loss of job, and/or jail time minimum.[2]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Asking for ID or refusing a sale is never wrong.\\n\", \"Selling alcohol to a visibly intoxicated person is also illegal in many states.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,606 | How to Ask for Permission to Use Tampons | 1. Approaching the Subject
1-1. Ask your parent/guardian for a private conversation.
When you feel you are ready to use tampons instead of pads for your period, you may need to gain the permission of your parents (in many cases your mother). Gaining their permission is important because they buy your feminine products. It is also good for them to know what is going on in your life so that they can take care of you.
For example, if your mom says she is headed to the store in an hour, ask her if you can have a talk before she goes.
Perhaps send a quick text to ask your parent or guardian to meet with you so that when you see them face to face, they will be ready to listen. Say, “When I get home from school today, can we talk for a minute?”
1-2. Write them a letter.
If you feel embarrassed or stressed about talking to your parents about using tampons, try writing them a letter. You may also want to write a letter if it's hard to find time to sit down with them. Writing a letter helps you organize your thoughts and make a strong appeal.
Write down your thoughts in a logical order, such as opening with your desire to use tampons, describing why they are a good idea, explaining that you have the responsibility to handle them, and closing with a polite request.
Revise your letter for proper wording and punctuation.
You could open with, “Dear Mom, I know it may seem weird that I'm writing a letter, but I wanted to ask you something personal, and I feel more comfortable writing a letter than talking face to face.”
You could also consider making it electronic, either writing a text or email, if that is something your parent or guardian would read.
1-3. Talk to someone you trust.
If talking to a parent or guardian is too difficult, either emotionally or logistically, you may want to talk to another trusted adult first. Get advice from them on how to approach your parents. Discuss your fears with them. They may be able to offer advice that makes you feel less uncomfortable than talking to your own parents.
Another adult you might discuss this with is your doctor. Your doctor can offer medical advice about tampon application, calming the fears of both you and your parents.
Pull aside a trusted adult and ask, “Hey, can I talk to you about a personal issue real quick?”
This can also be an experienced friend.
1-4. Be prepared to be denied.
Part of asking for permission is being ready to have your request denied. Your parents may not feel you are emotionally prepared for such a step. They may think you need to be a little older, or that tampons aren't safe. Be prepared to show maturity by not getting upset at their refusal.
Think about their personalities and your past experiences with them to help you anticipate what they might say.
Ask why they won't agree to let you use a tampon in a respectful manner.
Not getting upset can be the sign of maturity your parents need to agree to let you start using tampons. For example, a mature person is thankful, meaning they express gratitude even when things don't go their way.
Understand that your parents are most likely interested in your safety and are not trying to be mean.
2. Asking for Permission
2-1. Tell them what is going on.
Once you have your parents' attention, tell them about your desire to use tampons. You want them to clearly understand your position. Even if you don't think they will understand, you need to express your desire anyway.
Start by saying something like, “So I've been thinking about it, and I want start using tampons.”
2-2. Explain why you want to use tampons.
Explaining all the reasons why you want to do something is important for helping the other person become convinced. Use persuasion tactics like proper timing, being willing to do something in return, and being persistent. Your parents will probably be impressed by a logical argument made without whining.
Choose to ask your parents for a discussion about tampons when they are relaxed, not right after they get home from work.
Be willing to do chores or another task they have been wanting you to accomplish in return for permission to use tampons.
If they say no at first, meet any conditions they offer and ask them again. Keep asking until they relent.
Try, “I am old enough for tampons and I need them because I play sports.”
2-3. Ask with a polite manner.
Be kind and polite when you ask for permission. Make eye contact with your mom or dad and say nice things about them. Don't flatter them to get them to agree with you; instead, be genuine with any compliments you give. Also avoid fidgeting, whining, or accusing them if you don't like their response.
Say, “Thank you for taking time to meet with me today.”
Use words like can, could, may, might, would, and so on. These words are humble rather than demanding, and will likely help you get what you want.
For example, say, "I would like to start wearing tampons," instead of, "I have to wear tampons now."
2-4. Avoid whining if they say no.
If the answer is “no,” don't throw a fit. This will only assure your parents that you are not ready for the responsibility of using tampons. Instead of whining, complaining, or being out of sorts, accept their judgement calmly.
Don't tattle on a sibling in order to make yourself look better.
If your older sister uses tampons without your parents' permission, for example, telling on her to get your way might cause family drama rather than help your case.
3. Making Your Case
3-1. Calm their fears.
When you are presenting your appeal to your parents to use tampons, you may want to start by calming their fears. For example, if they are worried you will get sick from using tampons, assure them that you know when to take out your tampon. If they are worried that you will use it improperly, assure them that you have learned how to use a tampon correctly.
For example, explain that you know you should change a tampon every four to six hours.
3-2. Demonstrate that you have researched tampons.
Start by printing out web pages. You can show your parents that you have read about how to apply a tampon properly. You can also show that you have read about the risks.
Show that you have read up on Toxic Shock Syndrome and how to prevent it.
Also show proof that your age doesn't have anything to do with your ability to use tampons. Any girl with a menstrual cycle can use a tampon.
Explain how tampons are perfectly safe for both virgins and non-virgins. The tampon does not interfere with the hymen (the skin covering the vagina).
Make them aware that tampons can't enter the body, so they are a safe alternative to pads.
3-3. Offer stories of others your age.
Tell your parents about your friends who are in similar situations to your own, such as the same age and playing the same sports. Explain that they wear tampons and are perfectly fine.
If you are feeling left out because you are not allowed to wear tampons, explain this to your parents.
If anyone tries to bully you for not wearing tampons, tell an adult immediately.
You can tell you are being bullied if you are being singled out on an ongoing basis; the bully is bigger than you in stature or has a stronger personality; and enjoys it when you are uncomfortable.
3-4. Explain situations where you need them.
The reason tampons are an option on the market at all is because active women need them. If you play a sport like swimming, you physically should not swim unless you can contain your menstrual cycle; otherwise you might contaminate the water. You can play any sport better with a tampon.
Other situations you might want a tampon include wearing tight clothing, having to change clothes in a public dressing room, or for the sake of comfort.
Tips
To begin, start with a low absorbency tampon. Increase the absorbency of your tampon as you become more comfortable using them.
It is always wise to involve your mother and keep her informed, because she is the best person to trust in case of any problems.
If you're embarrassed about shopping for them, ask your mom if she can get them for you. It may be nicer to choose your own, though.
Warnings
Never put a tampon in if you're not menstruating or for discharge.
Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) is extremely rare and can usually be prevented by regularly changing a tampon. However, being aware of the symptoms can prevent problems.
Always change your tampon every four to six hours, or when it is saturated.
TSS symptoms include muscle aches, headache, redness of the eyes, a sudden high fever, dizziness or light headedness, vomiting, diarrhea, or a rash like a sunburn.[12]
X
Research source
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching the Subject\\n1-1. Ask your parent/guardian for a private conversation.\\nWhen you feel you are ready to use tampons instead of pads for your period, you may need to gain the permission of your parents (in many cases your mother). Gaining their permission is important because they buy your feminine products. It is also good for them to know what is going on in your life so that they can take care of you.\\nFor example, if your mom says she is headed to the store in an hour, ask her if you can have a talk before she goes.\\nPerhaps send a quick text to ask your parent or guardian to meet with you so that when you see them face to face, they will be ready to listen. Say, “When I get home from school today, can we talk for a minute?”\\n1-2. Write them a letter.\\nIf you feel embarrassed or stressed about talking to your parents about using tampons, try writing them a letter. You may also want to write a letter if it's hard to find time to sit down with them. Writing a letter helps you organize your thoughts and make a strong appeal.\\nWrite down your thoughts in a logical order, such as opening with your desire to use tampons, describing why they are a good idea, explaining that you have the responsibility to handle them, and closing with a polite request.\\nRevise your letter for proper wording and punctuation.\\nYou could open with, “Dear Mom, I know it may seem weird that I'm writing a letter, but I wanted to ask you something personal, and I feel more comfortable writing a letter than talking face to face.”\\nYou could also consider making it electronic, either writing a text or email, if that is something your parent or guardian would read.\\n1-3. Talk to someone you trust.\\nIf talking to a parent or guardian is too difficult, either emotionally or logistically, you may want to talk to another trusted adult first. Get advice from them on how to approach your parents. Discuss your fears with them. They may be able to offer advice that makes you feel less uncomfortable than talking to your own parents.\\nAnother adult you might discuss this with is your doctor. Your doctor can offer medical advice about tampon application, calming the fears of both you and your parents.\\nPull aside a trusted adult and ask, “Hey, can I talk to you about a personal issue real quick?”\\nThis can also be an experienced friend.\\n1-4. Be prepared to be denied.\\nPart of asking for permission is being ready to have your request denied. Your parents may not feel you are emotionally prepared for such a step. They may think you need to be a little older, or that tampons aren't safe. Be prepared to show maturity by not getting upset at their refusal.\\nThink about their personalities and your past experiences with them to help you anticipate what they might say.\\nAsk why they won't agree to let you use a tampon in a respectful manner.\\nNot getting upset can be the sign of maturity your parents need to agree to let you start using tampons. For example, a mature person is thankful, meaning they express gratitude even when things don't go their way.\\nUnderstand that your parents are most likely interested in your safety and are not trying to be mean.\\n2. Asking for Permission\\n2-1. Tell them what is going on.\\nOnce you have your parents' attention, tell them about your desire to use tampons. You want them to clearly understand your position. Even if you don't think they will understand, you need to express your desire anyway.\\nStart by saying something like, “So I've been thinking about it, and I want start using tampons.”\\n2-2. Explain why you want to use tampons.\\nExplaining all the reasons why you want to do something is important for helping the other person become convinced. Use persuasion tactics like proper timing, being willing to do something in return, and being persistent. Your parents will probably be impressed by a logical argument made without whining.\\nChoose to ask your parents for a discussion about tampons when they are relaxed, not right after they get home from work.\\nBe willing to do chores or another task they have been wanting you to accomplish in return for permission to use tampons.\\nIf they say no at first, meet any conditions they offer and ask them again. Keep asking until they relent.\\nTry, “I am old enough for tampons and I need them because I play sports.”\\n2-3. Ask with a polite manner.\\nBe kind and polite when you ask for permission. Make eye contact with your mom or dad and say nice things about them. Don't flatter them to get them to agree with you; instead, be genuine with any compliments you give. Also avoid fidgeting, whining, or accusing them if you don't like their response. \\nSay, “Thank you for taking time to meet with me today.”\\nUse words like can, could, may, might, would, and so on. These words are humble rather than demanding, and will likely help you get what you want.\\nFor example, say, \\\"I would like to start wearing tampons,\\\" instead of, \\\"I have to wear tampons now.\\\"\\n2-4. Avoid whining if they say no.\\nIf the answer is “no,” don't throw a fit. This will only assure your parents that you are not ready for the responsibility of using tampons. Instead of whining, complaining, or being out of sorts, accept their judgement calmly. \\nDon't tattle on a sibling in order to make yourself look better.\\nIf your older sister uses tampons without your parents' permission, for example, telling on her to get your way might cause family drama rather than help your case.\\n3. Making Your Case\\n3-1. Calm their fears.\\nWhen you are presenting your appeal to your parents to use tampons, you may want to start by calming their fears. For example, if they are worried you will get sick from using tampons, assure them that you know when to take out your tampon. If they are worried that you will use it improperly, assure them that you have learned how to use a tampon correctly.\\nFor example, explain that you know you should change a tampon every four to six hours.\\n3-2. Demonstrate that you have researched tampons.\\nStart by printing out web pages. You can show your parents that you have read about how to apply a tampon properly. You can also show that you have read about the risks.\\nShow that you have read up on Toxic Shock Syndrome and how to prevent it.\\nAlso show proof that your age doesn't have anything to do with your ability to use tampons. Any girl with a menstrual cycle can use a tampon.\\nExplain how tampons are perfectly safe for both virgins and non-virgins. The tampon does not interfere with the hymen (the skin covering the vagina).\\nMake them aware that tampons can't enter the body, so they are a safe alternative to pads.\\n3-3. Offer stories of others your age.\\nTell your parents about your friends who are in similar situations to your own, such as the same age and playing the same sports. Explain that they wear tampons and are perfectly fine.\\nIf you are feeling left out because you are not allowed to wear tampons, explain this to your parents.\\nIf anyone tries to bully you for not wearing tampons, tell an adult immediately.\\nYou can tell you are being bullied if you are being singled out on an ongoing basis; the bully is bigger than you in stature or has a stronger personality; and enjoys it when you are uncomfortable.\\n3-4. Explain situations where you need them.\\nThe reason tampons are an option on the market at all is because active women need them. If you play a sport like swimming, you physically should not swim unless you can contain your menstrual cycle; otherwise you might contaminate the water. You can play any sport better with a tampon.\\nOther situations you might want a tampon include wearing tight clothing, having to change clothes in a public dressing room, or for the sake of comfort.\\nTips\\nTo begin, start with a low absorbency tampon. Increase the absorbency of your tampon as you become more comfortable using them.\\nIt is always wise to involve your mother and keep her informed, because she is the best person to trust in case of any problems.\\nIf you're embarrassed about shopping for them, ask your mom if she can get them for you. It may be nicer to choose your own, though.\\nWarnings\\nNever put a tampon in if you're not menstruating or for discharge.\\nToxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) is extremely rare and can usually be prevented by regularly changing a tampon. However, being aware of the symptoms can prevent problems.\\nAlways change your tampon every four to six hours, or when it is saturated.\\nTSS symptoms include muscle aches, headache, redness of the eyes, a sudden high fever, dizziness or light headedness, vomiting, diarrhea, or a rash like a sunburn.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Some girls are embarrassed to ask their moms about things like wearing a tampon. Overcome your fear of asking permission to use a tampon by preparing yourself with the right timing and materials. Be kind when you ask for permission, and don't whine if your parents say no.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching the Subject\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask your parent/guardian for a private conversation.\", \"描述\": \"When you feel you are ready to use tampons instead of pads for your period, you may need to gain the permission of your parents (in many cases your mother). Gaining their permission is important because they buy your feminine products. It is also good for them to know what is going on in your life so that they can take care of you.\\nFor example, if your mom says she is headed to the store in an hour, ask her if you can have a talk before she goes.\\nPerhaps send a quick text to ask your parent or guardian to meet with you so that when you see them face to face, they will be ready to listen. Say, “When I get home from school today, can we talk for a minute?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write them a letter.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel embarrassed or stressed about talking to your parents about using tampons, try writing them a letter. You may also want to write a letter if it's hard to find time to sit down with them. Writing a letter helps you organize your thoughts and make a strong appeal.\\nWrite down your thoughts in a logical order, such as opening with your desire to use tampons, describing why they are a good idea, explaining that you have the responsibility to handle them, and closing with a polite request.\\nRevise your letter for proper wording and punctuation.\\nYou could open with, “Dear Mom, I know it may seem weird that I'm writing a letter, but I wanted to ask you something personal, and I feel more comfortable writing a letter than talking face to face.”\\nYou could also consider making it electronic, either writing a text or email, if that is something your parent or guardian would read.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk to someone you trust.\", \"描述\": \"If talking to a parent or guardian is too difficult, either emotionally or logistically, you may want to talk to another trusted adult first. Get advice from them on how to approach your parents. Discuss your fears with them. They may be able to offer advice that makes you feel less uncomfortable than talking to your own parents.\\nAnother adult you might discuss this with is your doctor. Your doctor can offer medical advice about tampon application, calming the fears of both you and your parents.\\nPull aside a trusted adult and ask, “Hey, can I talk to you about a personal issue real quick?”\\nThis can also be an experienced friend.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to be denied.\", \"描述\": \"Part of asking for permission is being ready to have your request denied. Your parents may not feel you are emotionally prepared for such a step. They may think you need to be a little older, or that tampons aren't safe. Be prepared to show maturity by not getting upset at their refusal.\\nThink about their personalities and your past experiences with them to help you anticipate what they might say.\\nAsk why they won't agree to let you use a tampon in a respectful manner.\\nNot getting upset can be the sign of maturity your parents need to agree to let you start using tampons. For example, a mature person is thankful, meaning they express gratitude even when things don't go their way.\\nUnderstand that your parents are most likely interested in your safety and are not trying to be mean.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking for Permission\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tell them what is going on.\", \"描述\": \"Once you have your parents' attention, tell them about your desire to use tampons. You want them to clearly understand your position. Even if you don't think they will understand, you need to express your desire anyway.\\nStart by saying something like, “So I've been thinking about it, and I want start using tampons.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Explain why you want to use tampons.\", \"描述\": \"Explaining all the reasons why you want to do something is important for helping the other person become convinced. Use persuasion tactics like proper timing, being willing to do something in return, and being persistent. Your parents will probably be impressed by a logical argument made without whining.\\nChoose to ask your parents for a discussion about tampons when they are relaxed, not right after they get home from work.\\nBe willing to do chores or another task they have been wanting you to accomplish in return for permission to use tampons.\\nIf they say no at first, meet any conditions they offer and ask them again. Keep asking until they relent.\\nTry, “I am old enough for tampons and I need them because I play sports.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask with a polite manner.\", \"描述\": \"Be kind and polite when you ask for permission. Make eye contact with your mom or dad and say nice things about them. Don't flatter them to get them to agree with you; instead, be genuine with any compliments you give. Also avoid fidgeting, whining, or accusing them if you don't like their response. \\nSay, “Thank you for taking time to meet with me today.”\\nUse words like can, could, may, might, would, and so on. These words are humble rather than demanding, and will likely help you get what you want.\\nFor example, say, \\\"I would like to start wearing tampons,\\\" instead of, \\\"I have to wear tampons now.\\\"\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Avoid whining if they say no.\", \"描述\": \"If the answer is “no,” don't throw a fit. This will only assure your parents that you are not ready for the responsibility of using tampons. Instead of whining, complaining, or being out of sorts, accept their judgement calmly. \\nDon't tattle on a sibling in order to make yourself look better.\\nIf your older sister uses tampons without your parents' permission, for example, telling on her to get your way might cause family drama rather than help your case.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Making Your Case\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Calm their fears.\", \"描述\": \"When you are presenting your appeal to your parents to use tampons, you may want to start by calming their fears. For example, if they are worried you will get sick from using tampons, assure them that you know when to take out your tampon. If they are worried that you will use it improperly, assure them that you have learned how to use a tampon correctly.\\nFor example, explain that you know you should change a tampon every four to six hours.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Demonstrate that you have researched tampons.\", \"描述\": \"Start by printing out web pages. You can show your parents that you have read about how to apply a tampon properly. You can also show that you have read about the risks.\\nShow that you have read up on Toxic Shock Syndrome and how to prevent it.\\nAlso show proof that your age doesn't have anything to do with your ability to use tampons. Any girl with a menstrual cycle can use a tampon.\\nExplain how tampons are perfectly safe for both virgins and non-virgins. The tampon does not interfere with the hymen (the skin covering the vagina).\\nMake them aware that tampons can't enter the body, so they are a safe alternative to pads.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Offer stories of others your age.\", \"描述\": \"Tell your parents about your friends who are in similar situations to your own, such as the same age and playing the same sports. Explain that they wear tampons and are perfectly fine.\\nIf you are feeling left out because you are not allowed to wear tampons, explain this to your parents.\\nIf anyone tries to bully you for not wearing tampons, tell an adult immediately.\\nYou can tell you are being bullied if you are being singled out on an ongoing basis; the bully is bigger than you in stature or has a stronger personality; and enjoys it when you are uncomfortable.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Explain situations where you need them.\", \"描述\": \"The reason tampons are an option on the market at all is because active women need them. If you play a sport like swimming, you physically should not swim unless you can contain your menstrual cycle; otherwise you might contaminate the water. You can play any sport better with a tampon.\\nOther situations you might want a tampon include wearing tight clothing, having to change clothes in a public dressing room, or for the sake of comfort.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"To begin, start with a low absorbency tampon. Increase the absorbency of your tampon as you become more comfortable using them.\\n\", \"It is always wise to involve your mother and keep her informed, because she is the best person to trust in case of any problems.\\n\", \"If you're embarrassed about shopping for them, ask your mom if she can get them for you. It may be nicer to choose your own, though.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Never put a tampon in if you're not menstruating or for discharge.\\n\", \"Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) is extremely rare and can usually be prevented by regularly changing a tampon. However, being aware of the symptoms can prevent problems.\\n\", \"Always change your tampon every four to six hours, or when it is saturated.\\n\", \"TSS symptoms include muscle aches, headache, redness of the eyes, a sudden high fever, dizziness or light headedness, vomiting, diarrhea, or a rash like a sunburn.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,607 | 2 Ways to Ask for Recommendations on Facebook | 1. On Mobile
1-1. Open the Facebook app on your Android, iPhone, or iPad.
Tap the app icon that looks like a white "f" on a blue background.
Sign in if prompted.
1-2. Tap the What's on your mind field.
This will open a new window so you can create a new post.
1-3. Ask for a recommendation.
According to Facebook's algorithms, if you pose a question that asks if anyone has any idea for good services or products in a specific location, the question will be marked as a recommendation.
For example, “Where can I get a good burger in New York?” is a good example of a post asking for a recommendation in a specific area.
Make your request specific if you want specific results. Include the type of service you’re looking for in your request. For example, if you’re looking for a mechanic, you may want to specify the type of work you need done, such as an oil change or bodywork. It might be a good idea to include your budget as well, especially when dealing with restaurant recommendations. This will ensure the recommendations are appropriate for your needs.
Here’s an example of a well-worded request: “Hi guys! Does anyone know of a good place for sushi in downtown Seattle? Looking for no more than $50 for two people! Thanks!”
1-4. Post your question.
Once you've set the audience, publish the post so you can get responses.
You'll notice that the post is automatically tagged as a recommendation post.
2. On Desktop
2-1. Go to https://facebook.com in a web browser.
Sign in if needed.
You can use any web browser on your computer to get a recommendation on Facebook.
2-2. Click the What's on your mind text box.
This will open a new window so you can create a new post.
2-3. Write a text-only post.
After clicking on the status box, the text option should be selected by default. Write your request for a recommendation here.
The text-only post should be in a question format with a specific location and any details. For example, "Does anyone know any good lawn care services in Nashville?" is a good recommendation question.
2-4. Publish your post.
After writing your status asking for recommendations, click on the blue “Post” button at the bottom right corner of the status update box. This will post the request to your wall.
You will see that your post has automatically been tagged as a recommendation post. To respond, just write an "@" to tag the recommended party.
If you want to ask a group, navigate to that group before you make a post.
Warnings
Be careful giving out your location to a Facebook group you’ve recently joined. You might end up revealing more personal information than would be safe.
If you’re getting recommendations from Facebook friends you don’t know particularly well, you may want to double-check the names of the proposed service with other friends or online customer review sites.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:04",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. On Mobile\\n1-1. Open the Facebook app on your Android, iPhone, or iPad.\\nTap the app icon that looks like a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background.\\nSign in if prompted.\\n1-2. Tap the What's on your mind field.\\nThis will open a new window so you can create a new post.\\n1-3. Ask for a recommendation.\\nAccording to Facebook's algorithms, if you pose a question that asks if anyone has any idea for good services or products in a specific location, the question will be marked as a recommendation.\\nFor example, “Where can I get a good burger in New York?” is a good example of a post asking for a recommendation in a specific area.\\nMake your request specific if you want specific results. Include the type of service you’re looking for in your request. For example, if you’re looking for a mechanic, you may want to specify the type of work you need done, such as an oil change or bodywork. It might be a good idea to include your budget as well, especially when dealing with restaurant recommendations. This will ensure the recommendations are appropriate for your needs.\\nHere’s an example of a well-worded request: “Hi guys! Does anyone know of a good place for sushi in downtown Seattle? Looking for no more than $50 for two people! Thanks!”\\n1-4. Post your question.\\nOnce you've set the audience, publish the post so you can get responses.\\nYou'll notice that the post is automatically tagged as a recommendation post.\\n2. On Desktop\\n2-1. Go to https://facebook.com in a web browser.\\nSign in if needed.\\nYou can use any web browser on your computer to get a recommendation on Facebook.\\n2-2. Click the What's on your mind text box.\\nThis will open a new window so you can create a new post.\\n2-3. Write a text-only post.\\nAfter clicking on the status box, the text option should be selected by default. Write your request for a recommendation here.\\nThe text-only post should be in a question format with a specific location and any details. For example, \\\"Does anyone know any good lawn care services in Nashville?\\\" is a good recommendation question.\\n2-4. Publish your post.\\nAfter writing your status asking for recommendations, click on the blue “Post” button at the bottom right corner of the status update box. This will post the request to your wall.\\nYou will see that your post has automatically been tagged as a recommendation post. To respond, just write an \\\"@\\\" to tag the recommended party.\\nIf you want to ask a group, navigate to that group before you make a post.\\nWarnings\\nBe careful giving out your location to a Facebook group you’ve recently joined. You might end up revealing more personal information than would be safe.\\nIf you’re getting recommendations from Facebook friends you don’t know particularly well, you may want to double-check the names of the proposed service with other friends or online customer review sites.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Whether it’s a place to eat, a mechanic, a hair salon, or any other service, you’ll typically want to get recommendations from friends and family before trying a new business. The simplest way to source a recommendation from the people you know is by posting a Facebook status. Even though the \\\"Ask for a Recommendation\\\" feature is hidden, Facebook will recognize that you're asking for a recommendation and prompt your friends to make suggestions, which will then appear on a map. This wikiHow article teaches you how to ask for recommendations on Facebook using an Android, iPhone, iPad, or computer.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"On Mobile\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Open the Facebook app on your Android, iPhone, or iPad.\", \"描述\": \"Tap the app icon that looks like a white \\\"f\\\" on a blue background.\\nSign in if prompted.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Tap the What's on your mind field.\", \"描述\": \"This will open a new window so you can create a new post.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for a recommendation.\", \"描述\": \"According to Facebook's algorithms, if you pose a question that asks if anyone has any idea for good services or products in a specific location, the question will be marked as a recommendation.\\nFor example, “Where can I get a good burger in New York?” is a good example of a post asking for a recommendation in a specific area.\\nMake your request specific if you want specific results. Include the type of service you’re looking for in your request. For example, if you’re looking for a mechanic, you may want to specify the type of work you need done, such as an oil change or bodywork. It might be a good idea to include your budget as well, especially when dealing with restaurant recommendations. This will ensure the recommendations are appropriate for your needs.\\nHere’s an example of a well-worded request: “Hi guys! Does anyone know of a good place for sushi in downtown Seattle? Looking for no more than $50 for two people! Thanks!”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Post your question.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've set the audience, publish the post so you can get responses.\\nYou'll notice that the post is automatically tagged as a recommendation post.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"On Desktop\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Go to https://facebook.com in a web browser.\", \"描述\": \"Sign in if needed.\\nYou can use any web browser on your computer to get a recommendation on Facebook.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Click the What's on your mind text box.\", \"描述\": \"This will open a new window so you can create a new post.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Write a text-only post.\", \"描述\": \"After clicking on the status box, the text option should be selected by default. Write your request for a recommendation here.\\nThe text-only post should be in a question format with a specific location and any details. For example, \\\"Does anyone know any good lawn care services in Nashville?\\\" is a good recommendation question.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Publish your post.\", \"描述\": \"After writing your status asking for recommendations, click on the blue “Post” button at the bottom right corner of the status update box. This will post the request to your wall.\\nYou will see that your post has automatically been tagged as a recommendation post. To respond, just write an \\\"@\\\" to tag the recommended party.\\nIf you want to ask a group, navigate to that group before you make a post.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Be careful giving out your location to a Facebook group you’ve recently joined. You might end up revealing more personal information than would be safe.\\n\", \"If you’re getting recommendations from Facebook friends you don’t know particularly well, you may want to double-check the names of the proposed service with other friends or online customer review sites.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,608 | How to Ask For More Time: 5 Tips for Stalling a Job Offer | 1. Tips for Asking
1-1. Thank them for the offer.
Express your gratitude to let the hiring manager know that you appreciate it. This will make them more likely to grant you an extension, since they’ll know you understand just how good of an opportunity it is.
“Thanks so much for the offer.”
“I really appreciate the offer you sent.”
“This offer is really wonderful; I’m so honored.”
1-2. Inquire about the deadline for the offer.
Different jobs may have different hiring deadlines. If the hiring manager hasn’t given you a deadline already, ask them if there is one so you get a sense of the timeline. That way, they’ll know that you’re keeping their needs in mind as well.
“Is there a specific deadline for this role?”
“Are you trying to fill this position as soon as possible, or is there some wiggle room?”
“What is the deadline for this offer?”
1-3. Give a concrete reason for asking for more time.
Hiring managers appreciate honesty, and they’re much more likely to give you extra time if you have a solid reason for it. Be as honest as you can, but don’t say you’re keeping your options open (since that can sound a little rude).
“As you may know, I’m in contact with other companies, and am in the late stages of the interview process for a few other positions.”
“Since this role would involve relocating to a new state, I need some time to think this over with my spouse.”
“I’d like to fully consider the job role and the position before I accept the offer.”
1-4. Ask for 2 to 3 days of extra time.
In general, 48 to 72 hours is the sweet spot when asking for more time to consider a job offer. Any more, and you risk sounding like you’re hesitant or going to decline the job offer anyway. Be sure to mull over everything during your allotted time, as asking for an extension on top of an extension is generally frowned upon.
“I was wondering if you could give me until the end of the week to think things through.”
“I’d love to think this over and get back to you by the end of the day on Wednesday.”
“Can you give me until Monday to think this over?”
1-5. Ask questions about the offer.
If you have any concerns that are holding you back from accepting the offer, now is the time to ask them. You can ask about the salary range and if it’s flexible at all. You might also inquire about the room for growth or why the last person in this position left.
“Is the salary range set in stone, or is it open to negotiation?”
“Can I ask why the last person in this position decided to move on from the role?”
“Does your company offer benefits?”
2. Considerations
2-1. Give yourself time to think over the position and the offer.
Getting a job offer is super exciting, but it’s important to give yourself a chance to step back and evaluate it. Sit with the idea of the job offer for a couple of days and decide whether it’s a good fit for you and your career path. You might ask yourself questions like:
“Is this the field I’d like to be in?”
“Is there room for growth within this company?”
“Will this job look good on my resumé?”
2-2. Research the company and the position.
Not sure if you’d fit in with the company culture? Now’s your chance to look into it. Check out reviews of the company on sites like Glassdoor or Indeed, or reach out to past employees on LinkedIn.
If you aren’t sure whether or not you’re a good fit for the position, try looking up the position title on LinkedIn. Then, check out the people who have the same position title and see what their experience is like and if it aligns with yours.
2-3. Decide if you’re going to negotiate the salary at all.
Most job offers come with a salary offer as well. As you think things over, be extra careful about the salary that’s been proposed. If you’re unhappy with it, try negotiating with the hiring manager before accepting the job.
It’s almost always a good idea to ask for a higher salary before accepting a job offer. The worst they can say is no!
2-4. Compare the offer against other job offers.
Are you in talks with other companies? Do you have other job offers on the table? If so, compare and contrast this offer with your others to see which one you like best. Take the salary, the position, and the location into account.
You might also compare the benefits offered and the commute time for each position.
If you have other offers on the table and you have questions about them, reach out to those companies to get your questions answered. That way, you can make your final decision quickly.
2-5. See if there’s room for growth.
Getting a job right now is great, but having the opportunity to advance your career is even better. As you look into the company and the position, try to see if there’s any way you can get promoted or learn new things about your field. If you can’t tell at all, you can even ask the hiring manager.
“I’m very interested in this position, and even more interested in the opportunity for growth it might provide me. Do people generally get opportunities to move up in this company?”
2-6. Take relocation into account.
If the job is in another state, think about how that might impact your living situation and your family. If you do have to relocate, you can even negotiate a relocation bonus into your starting salary. If you aren’t relocating, take the commute into account instead.
“Given the fact that I’d have to relocate for this job, would your company provide any sort of relocation fee?”
3. Examples
3-1.
“Hi Sandra,Thank you so much for the opportunity. I’m looking forward to joining the team, and am excited to get the chance to work with so many great people. I’d like to ask for a couple more days to consider the offer before I make my final decision.Thanks again,Shelly”
3-2.
“Jason,Thank you for the offer! I’m delighted that my skills align with the role so well. While interviewing for this position, I was under the impression that I would not have to relocate, but the offer states that working in the office is required (which would require me to move to Colorado). Could you clarify? I’m happy to talk about this over the phone as well.Thanks,Brian”
3-3.
“Hi Mary,Thank you so much for sending this offer along—I’m very excited at the prospect of joining your company. As you may know, I’ve been in contact with a few other companies in the field, and am in the late stages of interviews with them as well. Would you mind giving me until the end of the week to respond to this offer?Thanks so much,Ashley”
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Tips for Asking\\n1-1. Thank them for the offer.\\nExpress your gratitude to let the hiring manager know that you appreciate it. This will make them more likely to grant you an extension, since they’ll know you understand just how good of an opportunity it is.\\n“Thanks so much for the offer.”\\n“I really appreciate the offer you sent.”\\n“This offer is really wonderful; I’m so honored.”\\n1-2. Inquire about the deadline for the offer.\\nDifferent jobs may have different hiring deadlines. If the hiring manager hasn’t given you a deadline already, ask them if there is one so you get a sense of the timeline. That way, they’ll know that you’re keeping their needs in mind as well.\\n“Is there a specific deadline for this role?”\\n“Are you trying to fill this position as soon as possible, or is there some wiggle room?”\\n“What is the deadline for this offer?”\\n1-3. Give a concrete reason for asking for more time.\\nHiring managers appreciate honesty, and they’re much more likely to give you extra time if you have a solid reason for it. Be as honest as you can, but don’t say you’re keeping your options open (since that can sound a little rude).\\n“As you may know, I’m in contact with other companies, and am in the late stages of the interview process for a few other positions.”\\n“Since this role would involve relocating to a new state, I need some time to think this over with my spouse.”\\n“I’d like to fully consider the job role and the position before I accept the offer.”\\n1-4. Ask for 2 to 3 days of extra time.\\nIn general, 48 to 72 hours is the sweet spot when asking for more time to consider a job offer. Any more, and you risk sounding like you’re hesitant or going to decline the job offer anyway. Be sure to mull over everything during your allotted time, as asking for an extension on top of an extension is generally frowned upon.\\n“I was wondering if you could give me until the end of the week to think things through.”\\n“I’d love to think this over and get back to you by the end of the day on Wednesday.”\\n“Can you give me until Monday to think this over?”\\n1-5. Ask questions about the offer.\\nIf you have any concerns that are holding you back from accepting the offer, now is the time to ask them. You can ask about the salary range and if it’s flexible at all. You might also inquire about the room for growth or why the last person in this position left.\\n“Is the salary range set in stone, or is it open to negotiation?”\\n“Can I ask why the last person in this position decided to move on from the role?”\\n“Does your company offer benefits?”\\n2. Considerations\\n2-1. Give yourself time to think over the position and the offer.\\nGetting a job offer is super exciting, but it’s important to give yourself a chance to step back and evaluate it. Sit with the idea of the job offer for a couple of days and decide whether it’s a good fit for you and your career path. You might ask yourself questions like:\\n“Is this the field I’d like to be in?”\\n“Is there room for growth within this company?”\\n“Will this job look good on my resumé?”\\n2-2. Research the company and the position.\\nNot sure if you’d fit in with the company culture? Now’s your chance to look into it. Check out reviews of the company on sites like Glassdoor or Indeed, or reach out to past employees on LinkedIn. \\nIf you aren’t sure whether or not you’re a good fit for the position, try looking up the position title on LinkedIn. Then, check out the people who have the same position title and see what their experience is like and if it aligns with yours.\\n2-3. Decide if you’re going to negotiate the salary at all.\\nMost job offers come with a salary offer as well. As you think things over, be extra careful about the salary that’s been proposed. If you’re unhappy with it, try negotiating with the hiring manager before accepting the job.\\nIt’s almost always a good idea to ask for a higher salary before accepting a job offer. The worst they can say is no!\\n2-4. Compare the offer against other job offers.\\nAre you in talks with other companies? Do you have other job offers on the table? If so, compare and contrast this offer with your others to see which one you like best. Take the salary, the position, and the location into account.\\nYou might also compare the benefits offered and the commute time for each position.\\nIf you have other offers on the table and you have questions about them, reach out to those companies to get your questions answered. That way, you can make your final decision quickly.\\n2-5. See if there’s room for growth.\\nGetting a job right now is great, but having the opportunity to advance your career is even better. As you look into the company and the position, try to see if there’s any way you can get promoted or learn new things about your field. If you can’t tell at all, you can even ask the hiring manager.\\n“I’m very interested in this position, and even more interested in the opportunity for growth it might provide me. Do people generally get opportunities to move up in this company?”\\n2-6. Take relocation into account.\\nIf the job is in another state, think about how that might impact your living situation and your family. If you do have to relocate, you can even negotiate a relocation bonus into your starting salary. If you aren’t relocating, take the commute into account instead.\\n“Given the fact that I’d have to relocate for this job, would your company provide any sort of relocation fee?”\\n3. Examples\\n3-1. \\n“Hi Sandra,Thank you so much for the opportunity. I’m looking forward to joining the team, and am excited to get the chance to work with so many great people. I’d like to ask for a couple more days to consider the offer before I make my final decision.Thanks again,Shelly”\\n3-2. \\n“Jason,Thank you for the offer! I’m delighted that my skills align with the role so well. While interviewing for this position, I was under the impression that I would not have to relocate, but the offer states that working in the office is required (which would require me to move to Colorado). Could you clarify? I’m happy to talk about this over the phone as well.Thanks,Brian”\\n3-3. \\n“Hi Mary,Thank you so much for sending this offer along—I’m very excited at the prospect of joining your company. As you may know, I’ve been in contact with a few other companies in the field, and am in the late stages of interviews with them as well. Would you mind giving me until the end of the week to respond to this offer?Thanks so much,Ashley”\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"You’ve sent in your application, you’ve nailed the interview process, and now, finally, you have a job offer. Congratulations! But even if you’re being offered your dream job, there may still be a reason why you’d want to think it over for a couple more days before accepting. Fortunately, asking a hiring manager for more time isn’t uncommon in the professional world, and it won’t put them off if you need a couple days to mull things over. Keep reading to learn all the tips and tricks you’ll need to weigh your options carefully and accept the job you deserve.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Tips for Asking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Thank them for the offer.\", \"描述\": \"Express your gratitude to let the hiring manager know that you appreciate it. This will make them more likely to grant you an extension, since they’ll know you understand just how good of an opportunity it is.\\n“Thanks so much for the offer.”\\n“I really appreciate the offer you sent.”\\n“This offer is really wonderful; I’m so honored.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Inquire about the deadline for the offer.\", \"描述\": \"Different jobs may have different hiring deadlines. If the hiring manager hasn’t given you a deadline already, ask them if there is one so you get a sense of the timeline. That way, they’ll know that you’re keeping their needs in mind as well.\\n“Is there a specific deadline for this role?”\\n“Are you trying to fill this position as soon as possible, or is there some wiggle room?”\\n“What is the deadline for this offer?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Give a concrete reason for asking for more time.\", \"描述\": \"Hiring managers appreciate honesty, and they’re much more likely to give you extra time if you have a solid reason for it. Be as honest as you can, but don’t say you’re keeping your options open (since that can sound a little rude).\\n“As you may know, I’m in contact with other companies, and am in the late stages of the interview process for a few other positions.”\\n“Since this role would involve relocating to a new state, I need some time to think this over with my spouse.”\\n“I’d like to fully consider the job role and the position before I accept the offer.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask for 2 to 3 days of extra time.\", \"描述\": \"In general, 48 to 72 hours is the sweet spot when asking for more time to consider a job offer. Any more, and you risk sounding like you’re hesitant or going to decline the job offer anyway. Be sure to mull over everything during your allotted time, as asking for an extension on top of an extension is generally frowned upon.\\n“I was wondering if you could give me until the end of the week to think things through.”\\n“I’d love to think this over and get back to you by the end of the day on Wednesday.”\\n“Can you give me until Monday to think this over?”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Ask questions about the offer.\", \"描述\": \"If you have any concerns that are holding you back from accepting the offer, now is the time to ask them. You can ask about the salary range and if it’s flexible at all. You might also inquire about the room for growth or why the last person in this position left.\\n“Is the salary range set in stone, or is it open to negotiation?”\\n“Can I ask why the last person in this position decided to move on from the role?”\\n“Does your company offer benefits?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Considerations\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Give yourself time to think over the position and the offer.\", \"描述\": \"Getting a job offer is super exciting, but it’s important to give yourself a chance to step back and evaluate it. Sit with the idea of the job offer for a couple of days and decide whether it’s a good fit for you and your career path. You might ask yourself questions like:\\n“Is this the field I’d like to be in?”\\n“Is there room for growth within this company?”\\n“Will this job look good on my resumé?”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Research the company and the position.\", \"描述\": \"Not sure if you’d fit in with the company culture? Now’s your chance to look into it. Check out reviews of the company on sites like Glassdoor or Indeed, or reach out to past employees on LinkedIn. \\nIf you aren’t sure whether or not you’re a good fit for the position, try looking up the position title on LinkedIn. Then, check out the people who have the same position title and see what their experience is like and if it aligns with yours.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Decide if you’re going to negotiate the salary at all.\", \"描述\": \"Most job offers come with a salary offer as well. As you think things over, be extra careful about the salary that’s been proposed. If you’re unhappy with it, try negotiating with the hiring manager before accepting the job.\\nIt’s almost always a good idea to ask for a higher salary before accepting a job offer. The worst they can say is no!\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Compare the offer against other job offers.\", \"描述\": \"Are you in talks with other companies? Do you have other job offers on the table? If so, compare and contrast this offer with your others to see which one you like best. Take the salary, the position, and the location into account.\\nYou might also compare the benefits offered and the commute time for each position.\\nIf you have other offers on the table and you have questions about them, reach out to those companies to get your questions answered. That way, you can make your final decision quickly.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"See if there’s room for growth.\", \"描述\": \"Getting a job right now is great, but having the opportunity to advance your career is even better. As you look into the company and the position, try to see if there’s any way you can get promoted or learn new things about your field. If you can’t tell at all, you can even ask the hiring manager.\\n“I’m very interested in this position, and even more interested in the opportunity for growth it might provide me. Do people generally get opportunities to move up in this company?”\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Take relocation into account.\", \"描述\": \"If the job is in another state, think about how that might impact your living situation and your family. If you do have to relocate, you can even negotiate a relocation bonus into your starting salary. If you aren’t relocating, take the commute into account instead.\\n“Given the fact that I’d have to relocate for this job, would your company provide any sort of relocation fee?”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Examples\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"“Hi Sandra,Thank you so much for the opportunity. I’m looking forward to joining the team, and am excited to get the chance to work with so many great people. I’d like to ask for a couple more days to consider the offer before I make my final decision.Thanks again,Shelly”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"“Jason,Thank you for the offer! I’m delighted that my skills align with the role so well. While interviewing for this position, I was under the impression that I would not have to relocate, but the offer states that working in the office is required (which would require me to move to Colorado). Could you clarify? I’m happy to talk about this over the phone as well.Thanks,Brian”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"\", \"描述\": \"“Hi Mary,Thank you so much for sending this offer along—I’m very excited at the prospect of joining your company. As you may know, I’ve been in contact with a few other companies in the field, and am in the late stages of interviews with them as well. Would you mind giving me until the end of the week to respond to this offer?Thanks so much,Ashley”\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,609 | How to Ask for What You Want | 1. Making Your Request
1-1. Be direct and clear.
When you ask in a soft or nervous voice, your request might be easier to turn down. That's why it's important to be straightforward and act self-assured (even though this can be tough to do!). Being polite is important, too; it's best to ask with a smile, not a scowl, and be pleasant, not agitated. Still, when it comes to asking for what you want, confidence is key. “Respectfully assertive” might be the best way to describe the attitude you should take.
Don’t hedge or hesitate: “I was thinking that maybe I’d like for us to buy a boat.”
Instead, be direct: “Honey, I want us to buy a boat.”
"I want a raise and I want it now!" is too confrontational, while "Do you think it might be possible for me to get a small raise sometime, if you think I deserve it?" is too weak.
1-2. Be as specific as possible in making your request.
You’ve taken the time to make sure you know exactly what you want, so make sure they know too. Spell it out clearly, starting with the phrase “I want” or “I’d like.”
For example: “Mr. Green, I’d like to take over the vacant corner office.”
Use an “I” statement to make it clear that this is what you want. It’s easier for them to say “no” if you phrase it like this: “Would you consider giving me the vacant corner office?”
1-3. Ask for more (or less) than you want only in certain business scenarios.
Salespeople sometimes use the “foot in the door” technique, which involves asking for less than they want (to improve the odds of you saying “yes”) before moving on to what they really want. Or, they may try the “door in the face” method, which involves asking for more than they want, thereby making their follow-up (and real) request seem more reasonable.
However, you should skip these techniques when asking friends or family, and use them carefully in professional contexts.
People tend to expect (and therefore tolerate) salespeople using these techniques, but they may be resentful if a friend or significant other resorts to them.
If you want a raise at work, it makes sense to start with a higher (but not unreasonably higher) figure than what you really expect to be able to get. If you want a promotion, don’t ask to become regional manager when you really want to be assistant sales manager.
1-4. Provide only one supporting justification for what you want.
Even if you wrote down 10 good reasons why you want to buy a beach house, stick to telling your spouse just one of them. Running down a laundry list of reasons can overwhelm the other person and make them more resistant to agree to what you want.
For example, even if you think the beach house also makes a good investment and will be good for your mental health, you might choose the following as your best justification: “I want us to buy a beach house because it’ll be a place to bring our families together for years to come.”
Choose the justification that you feel is the strongest, unless you feel a different one will definitely be more effective on the other person.
If you only offer one justification this time, it makes it easier to “repackage” your request at another time, using a different justification, if you get a “no.”
1-5. Make an ultimatum only if you can accept the consequences.
Don’t make empty threats in a misguided attempt to get what you want. Otherwise, if the person says “no,” you’ll either have to follow through on something you don’t want or try to backtrack awkwardly.
For example, don’t say “I want a raise or I’ll quit” or “I want to schedule our wedding now or I’m breaking things off with you” unless you mean it.
If you repeatedly make ultimatums that you don’t actually intend to keep, other people will see you as manipulative and untrustworthy.
2. Dealing with the Reply
2-1. Listen closely to what they offer in response.
Once you state your case for what you want, give the other person a fair chance to respond fully. Actively listen to what they have to say, and take a moment to evaluate how their response suits your request. If you need further clarification, ask for it respectfully.
For instance: “So, are you saying you’re willing to give me a 5 percent raise, but not 8 percent?” You can use this as a jumping off point for further negotiations.
2-2. Offer thanks and appreciation if you get what you want.
When you take the chance of asking for what you want, sometimes you get it! If you do, make sure to let the other person know how appreciative you are, even if you feel like you’re getting what you’ve earned or deserve.
Try something simple: “That’s great! Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.”
Or, go in a bit more detail: “Thank you, Mr. Jennings. I truly appreciate you taking the time to hear me out and agreeing to let me switch my Wednesday and Friday schedules.”
2-3. Don’t take “no” personally or pout about it.
As the song goes, “You can’t always get what you want.” Even if you make the most reasonable request in the most persuasive way, you may get a “no.” Don’t assume that the other person must hate you, or have a grudge against you. Just accept that you took your shot and it didn’t work out this time.
Instead of letting “no” put you into a funk, start preparing for your next opportunity to ask for what you want—and maintain the same confidence that you’ll succeed!
Thank the person anyway: “Thanks for considering my request, Mr. Jennings. I appreciate you giving me the time to make my case.”
2-4. Start planning to ask again differently.
A “no” today often doesn’t have to mean a “no” forever. You can, for example, try asking your boss for a raise, your girlfriend to move in, or your parents for a car in 3 or 6 months. Don’t ask the exact same thing in the exact same way, though.
When you’re ready to ask again, start the process over. Make sure you’re still clear on exactly what you want. Come up with your reasons why, and identify your best reason. Phrase your request a bit differently, but make sure you’re still being “respectfully assertive.”
3. Things to Consider Before Asking
3-1. Figure out exactly what you want.
Don’t rush into asking for what you think you want. Instead, think things through so you can ask for exactly what you know you want. Otherwise, you’re more likely to get a “no” or to end up getting something that doesn’t actually fulfill your desire.
For example, you might know that you’re overworked and overstressed, but what solution do you really want? Do you want a different schedule? A slight change in work responsibilities? An entirely different job?
If you’re not sure exactly what you want, talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist for guidance. But remember that it’s ultimately up to you to determine what you want.
3-2. Write down your request and your reasoning for it.
Putting it down on paper helps to ensure that your desire is clear and reasonable. If you determine that you want a raise, for instance, write down “I want a raise because…” at the top of the page. Then, list several of your reasons why.
For example: “I have worked without a raise for 2 years;" “I have improved the efficiency of our entire department;” “I make less than co-workers with similar responsibilities;” “I’m now taking care of my ailing mother as well as my two kids.”
If you’re still not sure your request is clear or reasonable, show it to someone you trust and get their feedback.
3-3. Feel confident, not guilty, about what you want.
If your want is clear and reasonable, there’s no reason for you to feel guilty about wanting it and asking for it. Remind yourself that it’s okay to ask for things you want, not just those that you absolutely, desperately need.
You’re never guaranteed to get what you want, but you deserve to ask for what you want.
Build up your confidence with simple affirmations like “I’m worth it.”
3-4. Take the person you’re asking into account.
The more you know about the person you’ll be asking, and can anticipate how they’ll respond, the more likely you’ll be to make a successful request. Adjust the fine details, timing, and phrasing of your request to suit the person, but make sure you’re still asking for what you want.
For instance, if you know your boss tends to be in a better mood in the morning, don’t plan to ask for a raise at the end of the day.
Or, if you know your mother-in-law responds well to flattery, make sure to ramp up that element when deciding what you’ll say.
However, you need to ask for what you want, not for what you think they want you to want.
3-5. Practice making your request in the mirror or to a friend.
Just like giving a speech, reciting a poem, or singing a song, practicing beforehand will help you deliver your request better. Stand in front of a mirror, or record yourself making the request while using different phrasings and reasoning. Even better, practice in front of a trusted friend who can offer helpful feedback.
A friend might notice, for example, that you're putting your head down when you make the actual request. You'll appear more confident and convincing if you keep your head up and maintain eye contact with the other person.
3-6. Pick the right time, but don’t wait for a perfect time.
If your boss is a morning person, ask for your raise in the morning. But don’t keep putting off your request while waiting for the perfect morning, because it will never come. Once you’ve figured out what you want and why you want it, ask for it!
It’s easy to keep telling yourself “Today’s not a good day” or “I’ll ask next week when things will be less hectic.” Remind yourself that you know what you want, you deserve it, and it’s time to ask for it.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Making Your Request\\n1-1. Be direct and clear.\\nWhen you ask in a soft or nervous voice, your request might be easier to turn down. That's why it's important to be straightforward and act self-assured (even though this can be tough to do!). Being polite is important, too; it's best to ask with a smile, not a scowl, and be pleasant, not agitated. Still, when it comes to asking for what you want, confidence is key. “Respectfully assertive” might be the best way to describe the attitude you should take.\\nDon’t hedge or hesitate: “I was thinking that maybe I’d like for us to buy a boat.”\\nInstead, be direct: “Honey, I want us to buy a boat.”\\n\\\"I want a raise and I want it now!\\\" is too confrontational, while \\\"Do you think it might be possible for me to get a small raise sometime, if you think I deserve it?\\\" is too weak.\\n1-2. Be as specific as possible in making your request.\\nYou’ve taken the time to make sure you know exactly what you want, so make sure they know too. Spell it out clearly, starting with the phrase “I want” or “I’d like.”\\nFor example: “Mr. Green, I’d like to take over the vacant corner office.”\\nUse an “I” statement to make it clear that this is what you want. It’s easier for them to say “no” if you phrase it like this: “Would you consider giving me the vacant corner office?”\\n1-3. Ask for more (or less) than you want only in certain business scenarios.\\nSalespeople sometimes use the “foot in the door” technique, which involves asking for less than they want (to improve the odds of you saying “yes”) before moving on to what they really want. Or, they may try the “door in the face” method, which involves asking for more than they want, thereby making their follow-up (and real) request seem more reasonable.\\nHowever, you should skip these techniques when asking friends or family, and use them carefully in professional contexts.\\nPeople tend to expect (and therefore tolerate) salespeople using these techniques, but they may be resentful if a friend or significant other resorts to them.\\nIf you want a raise at work, it makes sense to start with a higher (but not unreasonably higher) figure than what you really expect to be able to get. If you want a promotion, don’t ask to become regional manager when you really want to be assistant sales manager.\\n1-4. Provide only one supporting justification for what you want.\\nEven if you wrote down 10 good reasons why you want to buy a beach house, stick to telling your spouse just one of them. Running down a laundry list of reasons can overwhelm the other person and make them more resistant to agree to what you want.\\nFor example, even if you think the beach house also makes a good investment and will be good for your mental health, you might choose the following as your best justification: “I want us to buy a beach house because it’ll be a place to bring our families together for years to come.”\\nChoose the justification that you feel is the strongest, unless you feel a different one will definitely be more effective on the other person.\\nIf you only offer one justification this time, it makes it easier to “repackage” your request at another time, using a different justification, if you get a “no.”\\n1-5. Make an ultimatum only if you can accept the consequences.\\nDon’t make empty threats in a misguided attempt to get what you want. Otherwise, if the person says “no,” you’ll either have to follow through on something you don’t want or try to backtrack awkwardly.\\nFor example, don’t say “I want a raise or I’ll quit” or “I want to schedule our wedding now or I’m breaking things off with you” unless you mean it.\\nIf you repeatedly make ultimatums that you don’t actually intend to keep, other people will see you as manipulative and untrustworthy.\\n2. Dealing with the Reply\\n2-1. Listen closely to what they offer in response.\\nOnce you state your case for what you want, give the other person a fair chance to respond fully. Actively listen to what they have to say, and take a moment to evaluate how their response suits your request. If you need further clarification, ask for it respectfully.\\nFor instance: “So, are you saying you’re willing to give me a 5 percent raise, but not 8 percent?” You can use this as a jumping off point for further negotiations.\\n2-2. Offer thanks and appreciation if you get what you want.\\nWhen you take the chance of asking for what you want, sometimes you get it! If you do, make sure to let the other person know how appreciative you are, even if you feel like you’re getting what you’ve earned or deserve.\\nTry something simple: “That’s great! Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.”\\nOr, go in a bit more detail: “Thank you, Mr. Jennings. I truly appreciate you taking the time to hear me out and agreeing to let me switch my Wednesday and Friday schedules.”\\n2-3. Don’t take “no” personally or pout about it.\\nAs the song goes, “You can’t always get what you want.” Even if you make the most reasonable request in the most persuasive way, you may get a “no.” Don’t assume that the other person must hate you, or have a grudge against you. Just accept that you took your shot and it didn’t work out this time.\\nInstead of letting “no” put you into a funk, start preparing for your next opportunity to ask for what you want—and maintain the same confidence that you’ll succeed!\\nThank the person anyway: “Thanks for considering my request, Mr. Jennings. I appreciate you giving me the time to make my case.”\\n2-4. Start planning to ask again differently.\\nA “no” today often doesn’t have to mean a “no” forever. You can, for example, try asking your boss for a raise, your girlfriend to move in, or your parents for a car in 3 or 6 months. Don’t ask the exact same thing in the exact same way, though.\\nWhen you’re ready to ask again, start the process over. Make sure you’re still clear on exactly what you want. Come up with your reasons why, and identify your best reason. Phrase your request a bit differently, but make sure you’re still being “respectfully assertive.”\\n3. Things to Consider Before Asking\\n3-1. Figure out exactly what you want.\\nDon’t rush into asking for what you think you want. Instead, think things through so you can ask for exactly what you know you want. Otherwise, you’re more likely to get a “no” or to end up getting something that doesn’t actually fulfill your desire.\\nFor example, you might know that you’re overworked and overstressed, but what solution do you really want? Do you want a different schedule? A slight change in work responsibilities? An entirely different job?\\nIf you’re not sure exactly what you want, talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist for guidance. But remember that it’s ultimately up to you to determine what you want.\\n3-2. Write down your request and your reasoning for it.\\nPutting it down on paper helps to ensure that your desire is clear and reasonable. If you determine that you want a raise, for instance, write down “I want a raise because…” at the top of the page. Then, list several of your reasons why.\\nFor example: “I have worked without a raise for 2 years;\\\" “I have improved the efficiency of our entire department;” “I make less than co-workers with similar responsibilities;” “I’m now taking care of my ailing mother as well as my two kids.”\\nIf you’re still not sure your request is clear or reasonable, show it to someone you trust and get their feedback.\\n3-3. Feel confident, not guilty, about what you want.\\nIf your want is clear and reasonable, there’s no reason for you to feel guilty about wanting it and asking for it. Remind yourself that it’s okay to ask for things you want, not just those that you absolutely, desperately need.\\nYou’re never guaranteed to get what you want, but you deserve to ask for what you want.\\nBuild up your confidence with simple affirmations like “I’m worth it.”\\n3-4. Take the person you’re asking into account.\\nThe more you know about the person you’ll be asking, and can anticipate how they’ll respond, the more likely you’ll be to make a successful request. Adjust the fine details, timing, and phrasing of your request to suit the person, but make sure you’re still asking for what you want.\\nFor instance, if you know your boss tends to be in a better mood in the morning, don’t plan to ask for a raise at the end of the day.\\nOr, if you know your mother-in-law responds well to flattery, make sure to ramp up that element when deciding what you’ll say.\\nHowever, you need to ask for what you want, not for what you think they want you to want.\\n3-5. Practice making your request in the mirror or to a friend.\\nJust like giving a speech, reciting a poem, or singing a song, practicing beforehand will help you deliver your request better. Stand in front of a mirror, or record yourself making the request while using different phrasings and reasoning. Even better, practice in front of a trusted friend who can offer helpful feedback.\\nA friend might notice, for example, that you're putting your head down when you make the actual request. You'll appear more confident and convincing if you keep your head up and maintain eye contact with the other person.\\n3-6. Pick the right time, but don’t wait for a perfect time.\\nIf your boss is a morning person, ask for your raise in the morning. But don’t keep putting off your request while waiting for the perfect morning, because it will never come. Once you’ve figured out what you want and why you want it, ask for it!\\nIt’s easy to keep telling yourself “Today’s not a good day” or “I’ll ask next week when things will be less hectic.” Remind yourself that you know what you want, you deserve it, and it’s time to ask for it.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Learning how to recognize your desires and deftly ask for what you want is an important skill. Otherwise, you may go through life living with what you’ll tolerate instead of getting what you really want. Start by taking the time to identify exactly what you want and craft your request. Then, make sure you ask in a timely, clear, confident, and respectful manner. Whether you get a “yes” or “no,” respond with grace and prepare for your next effort to ask for what you want!\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Making Your Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Be direct and clear.\", \"描述\": \"When you ask in a soft or nervous voice, your request might be easier to turn down. That's why it's important to be straightforward and act self-assured (even though this can be tough to do!). Being polite is important, too; it's best to ask with a smile, not a scowl, and be pleasant, not agitated. Still, when it comes to asking for what you want, confidence is key. “Respectfully assertive” might be the best way to describe the attitude you should take.\\nDon’t hedge or hesitate: “I was thinking that maybe I’d like for us to buy a boat.”\\nInstead, be direct: “Honey, I want us to buy a boat.”\\n\\\"I want a raise and I want it now!\\\" is too confrontational, while \\\"Do you think it might be possible for me to get a small raise sometime, if you think I deserve it?\\\" is too weak.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Be as specific as possible in making your request.\", \"描述\": \"You’ve taken the time to make sure you know exactly what you want, so make sure they know too. Spell it out clearly, starting with the phrase “I want” or “I’d like.”\\nFor example: “Mr. Green, I’d like to take over the vacant corner office.”\\nUse an “I” statement to make it clear that this is what you want. It’s easier for them to say “no” if you phrase it like this: “Would you consider giving me the vacant corner office?”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for more (or less) than you want only in certain business scenarios.\", \"描述\": \"Salespeople sometimes use the “foot in the door” technique, which involves asking for less than they want (to improve the odds of you saying “yes”) before moving on to what they really want. Or, they may try the “door in the face” method, which involves asking for more than they want, thereby making their follow-up (and real) request seem more reasonable.\\nHowever, you should skip these techniques when asking friends or family, and use them carefully in professional contexts.\\nPeople tend to expect (and therefore tolerate) salespeople using these techniques, but they may be resentful if a friend or significant other resorts to them.\\nIf you want a raise at work, it makes sense to start with a higher (but not unreasonably higher) figure than what you really expect to be able to get. If you want a promotion, don’t ask to become regional manager when you really want to be assistant sales manager.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Provide only one supporting justification for what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Even if you wrote down 10 good reasons why you want to buy a beach house, stick to telling your spouse just one of them. Running down a laundry list of reasons can overwhelm the other person and make them more resistant to agree to what you want.\\nFor example, even if you think the beach house also makes a good investment and will be good for your mental health, you might choose the following as your best justification: “I want us to buy a beach house because it’ll be a place to bring our families together for years to come.”\\nChoose the justification that you feel is the strongest, unless you feel a different one will definitely be more effective on the other person.\\nIf you only offer one justification this time, it makes it easier to “repackage” your request at another time, using a different justification, if you get a “no.”\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Make an ultimatum only if you can accept the consequences.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t make empty threats in a misguided attempt to get what you want. Otherwise, if the person says “no,” you’ll either have to follow through on something you don’t want or try to backtrack awkwardly.\\nFor example, don’t say “I want a raise or I’ll quit” or “I want to schedule our wedding now or I’m breaking things off with you” unless you mean it.\\nIf you repeatedly make ultimatums that you don’t actually intend to keep, other people will see you as manipulative and untrustworthy.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Dealing with the Reply\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Listen closely to what they offer in response.\", \"描述\": \"Once you state your case for what you want, give the other person a fair chance to respond fully. Actively listen to what they have to say, and take a moment to evaluate how their response suits your request. If you need further clarification, ask for it respectfully.\\nFor instance: “So, are you saying you’re willing to give me a 5 percent raise, but not 8 percent?” You can use this as a jumping off point for further negotiations.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Offer thanks and appreciation if you get what you want.\", \"描述\": \"When you take the chance of asking for what you want, sometimes you get it! If you do, make sure to let the other person know how appreciative you are, even if you feel like you’re getting what you’ve earned or deserve.\\nTry something simple: “That’s great! Thanks so much. I really appreciate it.”\\nOr, go in a bit more detail: “Thank you, Mr. Jennings. I truly appreciate you taking the time to hear me out and agreeing to let me switch my Wednesday and Friday schedules.”\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Don’t take “no” personally or pout about it.\", \"描述\": \"As the song goes, “You can’t always get what you want.” Even if you make the most reasonable request in the most persuasive way, you may get a “no.” Don’t assume that the other person must hate you, or have a grudge against you. Just accept that you took your shot and it didn’t work out this time.\\nInstead of letting “no” put you into a funk, start preparing for your next opportunity to ask for what you want—and maintain the same confidence that you’ll succeed!\\nThank the person anyway: “Thanks for considering my request, Mr. Jennings. I appreciate you giving me the time to make my case.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start planning to ask again differently.\", \"描述\": \"A “no” today often doesn’t have to mean a “no” forever. You can, for example, try asking your boss for a raise, your girlfriend to move in, or your parents for a car in 3 or 6 months. Don’t ask the exact same thing in the exact same way, though.\\nWhen you’re ready to ask again, start the process over. Make sure you’re still clear on exactly what you want. Come up with your reasons why, and identify your best reason. Phrase your request a bit differently, but make sure you’re still being “respectfully assertive.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Things to Consider Before Asking\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Figure out exactly what you want.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t rush into asking for what you think you want. Instead, think things through so you can ask for exactly what you know you want. Otherwise, you’re more likely to get a “no” or to end up getting something that doesn’t actually fulfill your desire.\\nFor example, you might know that you’re overworked and overstressed, but what solution do you really want? Do you want a different schedule? A slight change in work responsibilities? An entirely different job?\\nIf you’re not sure exactly what you want, talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist for guidance. But remember that it’s ultimately up to you to determine what you want.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Write down your request and your reasoning for it.\", \"描述\": \"Putting it down on paper helps to ensure that your desire is clear and reasonable. If you determine that you want a raise, for instance, write down “I want a raise because…” at the top of the page. Then, list several of your reasons why.\\nFor example: “I have worked without a raise for 2 years;\\\" “I have improved the efficiency of our entire department;” “I make less than co-workers with similar responsibilities;” “I’m now taking care of my ailing mother as well as my two kids.”\\nIf you’re still not sure your request is clear or reasonable, show it to someone you trust and get their feedback.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Feel confident, not guilty, about what you want.\", \"描述\": \"If your want is clear and reasonable, there’s no reason for you to feel guilty about wanting it and asking for it. Remind yourself that it’s okay to ask for things you want, not just those that you absolutely, desperately need.\\nYou’re never guaranteed to get what you want, but you deserve to ask for what you want.\\nBuild up your confidence with simple affirmations like “I’m worth it.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Take the person you’re asking into account.\", \"描述\": \"The more you know about the person you’ll be asking, and can anticipate how they’ll respond, the more likely you’ll be to make a successful request. Adjust the fine details, timing, and phrasing of your request to suit the person, but make sure you’re still asking for what you want.\\nFor instance, if you know your boss tends to be in a better mood in the morning, don’t plan to ask for a raise at the end of the day.\\nOr, if you know your mother-in-law responds well to flattery, make sure to ramp up that element when deciding what you’ll say.\\nHowever, you need to ask for what you want, not for what you think they want you to want.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Practice making your request in the mirror or to a friend.\", \"描述\": \"Just like giving a speech, reciting a poem, or singing a song, practicing beforehand will help you deliver your request better. Stand in front of a mirror, or record yourself making the request while using different phrasings and reasoning. Even better, practice in front of a trusted friend who can offer helpful feedback.\\nA friend might notice, for example, that you're putting your head down when you make the actual request. You'll appear more confident and convincing if you keep your head up and maintain eye contact with the other person.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Pick the right time, but don’t wait for a perfect time.\", \"描述\": \"If your boss is a morning person, ask for your raise in the morning. But don’t keep putting off your request while waiting for the perfect morning, because it will never come. Once you’ve figured out what you want and why you want it, ask for it!\\nIt’s easy to keep telling yourself “Today’s not a good day” or “I’ll ask next week when things will be less hectic.” Remind yourself that you know what you want, you deserve it, and it’s time to ask for it.\"}]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
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} | wikihow |
2,610 | How to Ask for Your Job Back | 1. Petitioning to Return After Being Fired
1-1. Assess the legitimacy of your termination.
Why were you fired in the first place? Did you do something you were not supposed to do? Was it something avoidable? Did your boss or another employee have it out for you and set you up to be fired? There are a number of ways your termination could have been the appropriate response to bad behavior. It could also have been caused by an inappropriate reaction.
If you know that there have been negative rumors spread about you in the office regarding protected statuses (e.g., religion, sexual orientation, or age) this is a good place to start. You may want to find out of others like yourself have lost their jobs too. If there's a pattern of discrimination, you may have a good case to get your job back.
1-2. Seek legal counsel if necessary.
If your employer fired you for an illegitimate reason--even if legitimate reasons were part of the termination--you may want to consult a lawyer. You may be able to show your termination was not justified. This may effectively void your termination. If you are in a union or are under contract, you may need to do this immediately so that your lawyer(s) can negotiate your rehire.
1-3. Revise your résumé or vitae.
Update your résumé or vitae with your most recent job. Highlight the valuable contributions you made to the company before your termination. This helps show you were a valuable member of the team before you were fired. Take time to polish up the wording to make yourself look as good as possible without overdoing it. You want to remind them of the work you did and why they hired you in the first place.
1-4. Reach out to your previous employer to determine if rehiring is a possibility.
This can be tricky depending on the circumstances of your termination. If you are eligible for rehire they may give you a list of requirements you must meet to get your job back. If they give you a list, do it. Even if they say you cannot have your job back, you may ask to take a reduction in pay or a lesser job in hopes of reattaining your former status over time. If they flat out refuse to allow you back, do not take this as fact just yet.
One way to do this is to have lunch or dinner with an old co-worker in your office. Your old boss works too if you left on good terms. You may be able to discuss open positions at the company. They may be able to tell you if the climate is good for you to re-apply.
1-5. Resolve any issue that may have caused your termination.
If you have any personal issues, especially if they were explicit causes for your termination, work on them now. You need to have these resolved before you ask for your job back. Furthermore, you have plenty of time to resolve these issues while you are unemployed.
If you were let go because of your behavior, seek counseling. You may have an unknown condition that needs to be medicated. If you know you have some disorder and are avoiding treatment, get treatment now. If your bad behavior is the only issue, try to work through it with a counselor.
1-6. Prepare for questions regarding your departure and time away.
Have responses in place to likely questions such as "Why should we take you back?", "Why do you want to work here again?", and "How would you feel about doing a different/lower level position from before?". Be humble in your responses. You want to show them whatever issues existed in the past are no longer an issue.
Emphasize that your experience at the job make you a good candidate for rehire. Experience and know-how are valuable qualities no matter what other factors are in play. Even if your performance was poor at the end, highlight the work you did when they appreciated your skills.
If the conditions under which you left were circumstantial, for instance a problem in your personal life, it is appropriate to mention that. A change in those circumstances would partially explain the value of your returning to the company.
Avoid being defensive regarding the cause of your termination. You are not there to re-litigate the past. Try to shift conversations about the past into a discussion about how you can help the company in the future.
1-7. Submit a new application for employment.
Even if they are not explicitly hiring, go ahead and submit a new application. Include your revised résumé or vitae. This way they have the application on file if they need it or chose to disregard you. If you want your job back you must reapply or your old employer could refuse to hire you simply because you didn't apply.
2. Requesting to Return After Quitting
2-1. Resolve your own issues first.
If you quit there was likely a reason. Even if you think your boss was at fault, if you want your job back you will have to submit to them. You need to focus on your own attitude and desires. How can you adapt your attitude to be accepting of a future working in the company you just quit?
If you go into a program and successfully complete it, be sure to inform your former employer of your success. This shows maturity and growth.
2-2. Apologize to your previous employer and boss if needed.
Unless you left for a legitimate reason (e.g., moving away for college), by now you are thinking that something has changed between when you quit and now. Apologize to your previous employer and boss letting them know you regret your decision. That your attitude has changed and you have realized your mistake. If there were hard feelings, ask your employer to forgive your bad behavior and reassure them that you have changed. If they hire your back, they can depend on you long term.
Try to make your apology sincere by doing so in the most thoughtful way possible. Avoid apologizing by text or email. You should apologize face-to-face if possible. By phone if not. If you get their voicemail, ask for a call back or let them know you will call back. Do not apologize by voicemail.
In your apology, admit fault and responsibility. Be sincere and let them know you know you made a mistake. If you said anything inappropriate, be sure to note you are sorry about that too. Don't be clever. "I'm sorry, I was wrong" shows strength of character.
2-3. Revise your résumé or curriculum vitae.
Anytime you leave a job you should revise your résumé or vitae. Go ahead and do this so you can resubmit it in the future. Take time to polish it so it looks remarkable. You want to show your previous employer you can act professionally.
2-4. Submit your updated résumé or vitae to your previous employer.
Go ahead and submit your résumé or vitae to your previous employer even if they are not hiring. You may decide to use your internal contacts to forward your résumé or vitae to the right person.
When you submit your updated materials, do so widely. Give them to the hiring personnel as well as your former boss. You may want to let other managers you were on good terms with know you are looking for work again. This way you follow the proper procedures by filing with the hiring people and you can get others interested in hiring you.
2-5. Be prepared to answer questions about why you quit.
Try to focus on your own change as a person rather than negative aspects of your job. The goal here is to show you are reliable. Even if you were not reliable in the past you can highlight your past mistakes and how you have resolved them. You are more reliable now than before because you resolved your issues.
2-6. Humble yourself before your boss.
Your boss or employer may be amicable to your return pending some sort of penance. They may accept you back at lower pay or in a different, less desirable position. If you want your job back, accept their conditions but emphasize you want your old job back. Then you can show them how serious you are about reacquiring your old job. This will give you time to re-earn their respect.
Don't allow yourself to be demeaned too much. Taking a lower position or a drop in pay is one thing. Being harassed or bad mouthed in the office is different and is unacceptable.
3. Asking to Return After a Layoff
3-1. Keep in contact with your business connections.
If you want that job back, you need to know as soon as possible when it might become available again. You'll need to keep in contact with your former co-workers to see if work is picking up or getting too much to handle. You may even want to let your former boss know you're still available if they decide to hire another person.
If you knew your boss or co-workers well, try to keep in touch outside of work. Have lunch or dinner with them. Join them for birthday parties or cookouts. You may want to have a social event and invite them to join you.
3-2. Update your résumé or curriculum vitae.
Go ahead and put your most recent job at the top of your job history. Use your time off to refresh and polish the document. Take time with your job summary to highlight the important work you performed. Emphasize the skills you gained from working at the company and what you have learned since.
3-3. Get supportive references from within the company.
If you were laid off then chances are people in the company liked your work until business died down. People trust those that they know. They know they can rely on you if additional help is required. Go ahead and find people willing to vouch for you when business picks up again. Go ahead and ask them to permit you to include them on your list of references.
Co-workers are great references. Your boss or other managers and supervisors are better though. Their word means more to hiring personnel. Be careful to only use those references that you know will be positive though. Better to have co-workers who like you than a manager that barely tolerates you.
3-4. Submit your revised résumé or vitae to your previous employer.
They may not be hiring but they will know you are serious about working for you again. If they need you your updated documentation will be on file. Hopefully they will be in touch soon.
3-5. Stay prepared to work again immediately.
If the company you previously worked for knows you are interested in your old job they may have you on their list. Pay close attention to new trends and projects your former co-workers tell you about. If work suddenly picks up they may call you hoping you are available almost immediately. This saves them a lot of time and money forgoing an extensive job search.
Whenever you hear of a new process or procedure being started at your old employer, take time to read up on it. If you are close with your co-workers, ask them about what's going on. You want to stay as up-to-date as you can so that you can demonstrate skill and proficiency if asked to work again.
3-6. Protect your employment status.
When you get rehired you may want to remember you were previously laid off from that job. What happens if business slows down again? You may want to discuss an employment contract requiring the company to keep you on for at least a year. At the very least you can ask that your previous time working for the company be considered part of your history. In other words, you retain some seniority in the company despite being only recently rehired.
Warnings
Always work a two week notice when quitting.[15]
X
Research source
[16]
X
Research source
Even if you feel like you need to leave now, work a notice. If you do not work a two week notice some employers will permanently blacklist you. You may never work for them again at any level. Furthermore, when future employers check with past employers they may want to know if you are reliable and may use a failure to work a notice as an indication you're unreliable.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Petitioning to Return After Being Fired\\n1-1. Assess the legitimacy of your termination.\\nWhy were you fired in the first place? Did you do something you were not supposed to do? Was it something avoidable? Did your boss or another employee have it out for you and set you up to be fired? There are a number of ways your termination could have been the appropriate response to bad behavior. It could also have been caused by an inappropriate reaction.\\nIf you know that there have been negative rumors spread about you in the office regarding protected statuses (e.g., religion, sexual orientation, or age) this is a good place to start. You may want to find out of others like yourself have lost their jobs too. If there's a pattern of discrimination, you may have a good case to get your job back.\\n1-2. Seek legal counsel if necessary.\\nIf your employer fired you for an illegitimate reason--even if legitimate reasons were part of the termination--you may want to consult a lawyer. You may be able to show your termination was not justified. This may effectively void your termination. If you are in a union or are under contract, you may need to do this immediately so that your lawyer(s) can negotiate your rehire.\\n1-3. Revise your résumé or vitae.\\nUpdate your résumé or vitae with your most recent job. Highlight the valuable contributions you made to the company before your termination. This helps show you were a valuable member of the team before you were fired. Take time to polish up the wording to make yourself look as good as possible without overdoing it. You want to remind them of the work you did and why they hired you in the first place.\\n1-4. Reach out to your previous employer to determine if rehiring is a possibility.\\nThis can be tricky depending on the circumstances of your termination. If you are eligible for rehire they may give you a list of requirements you must meet to get your job back. If they give you a list, do it. Even if they say you cannot have your job back, you may ask to take a reduction in pay or a lesser job in hopes of reattaining your former status over time. If they flat out refuse to allow you back, do not take this as fact just yet.\\nOne way to do this is to have lunch or dinner with an old co-worker in your office. Your old boss works too if you left on good terms. You may be able to discuss open positions at the company. They may be able to tell you if the climate is good for you to re-apply.\\n1-5. Resolve any issue that may have caused your termination.\\nIf you have any personal issues, especially if they were explicit causes for your termination, work on them now. You need to have these resolved before you ask for your job back. Furthermore, you have plenty of time to resolve these issues while you are unemployed.\\nIf you were let go because of your behavior, seek counseling. You may have an unknown condition that needs to be medicated. If you know you have some disorder and are avoiding treatment, get treatment now. If your bad behavior is the only issue, try to work through it with a counselor.\\n1-6. Prepare for questions regarding your departure and time away.\\nHave responses in place to likely questions such as \\\"Why should we take you back?\\\", \\\"Why do you want to work here again?\\\", and \\\"How would you feel about doing a different/lower level position from before?\\\". Be humble in your responses. You want to show them whatever issues existed in the past are no longer an issue.\\nEmphasize that your experience at the job make you a good candidate for rehire. Experience and know-how are valuable qualities no matter what other factors are in play. Even if your performance was poor at the end, highlight the work you did when they appreciated your skills.\\nIf the conditions under which you left were circumstantial, for instance a problem in your personal life, it is appropriate to mention that. A change in those circumstances would partially explain the value of your returning to the company.\\nAvoid being defensive regarding the cause of your termination. You are not there to re-litigate the past. Try to shift conversations about the past into a discussion about how you can help the company in the future.\\n1-7. Submit a new application for employment.\\nEven if they are not explicitly hiring, go ahead and submit a new application. Include your revised résumé or vitae. This way they have the application on file if they need it or chose to disregard you. If you want your job back you must reapply or your old employer could refuse to hire you simply because you didn't apply.\\n2. Requesting to Return After Quitting\\n2-1. Resolve your own issues first.\\nIf you quit there was likely a reason. Even if you think your boss was at fault, if you want your job back you will have to submit to them. You need to focus on your own attitude and desires. How can you adapt your attitude to be accepting of a future working in the company you just quit?\\nIf you go into a program and successfully complete it, be sure to inform your former employer of your success. This shows maturity and growth.\\n2-2. Apologize to your previous employer and boss if needed.\\nUnless you left for a legitimate reason (e.g., moving away for college), by now you are thinking that something has changed between when you quit and now. Apologize to your previous employer and boss letting them know you regret your decision. That your attitude has changed and you have realized your mistake. If there were hard feelings, ask your employer to forgive your bad behavior and reassure them that you have changed. If they hire your back, they can depend on you long term.\\nTry to make your apology sincere by doing so in the most thoughtful way possible. Avoid apologizing by text or email. You should apologize face-to-face if possible. By phone if not. If you get their voicemail, ask for a call back or let them know you will call back. Do not apologize by voicemail.\\nIn your apology, admit fault and responsibility. Be sincere and let them know you know you made a mistake. If you said anything inappropriate, be sure to note you are sorry about that too. Don't be clever. \\\"I'm sorry, I was wrong\\\" shows strength of character.\\n2-3. Revise your résumé or curriculum vitae.\\nAnytime you leave a job you should revise your résumé or vitae. Go ahead and do this so you can resubmit it in the future. Take time to polish it so it looks remarkable. You want to show your previous employer you can act professionally.\\n2-4. Submit your updated résumé or vitae to your previous employer.\\nGo ahead and submit your résumé or vitae to your previous employer even if they are not hiring. You may decide to use your internal contacts to forward your résumé or vitae to the right person.\\nWhen you submit your updated materials, do so widely. Give them to the hiring personnel as well as your former boss. You may want to let other managers you were on good terms with know you are looking for work again. This way you follow the proper procedures by filing with the hiring people and you can get others interested in hiring you.\\n2-5. Be prepared to answer questions about why you quit.\\nTry to focus on your own change as a person rather than negative aspects of your job. The goal here is to show you are reliable. Even if you were not reliable in the past you can highlight your past mistakes and how you have resolved them. You are more reliable now than before because you resolved your issues.\\n2-6. Humble yourself before your boss.\\nYour boss or employer may be amicable to your return pending some sort of penance. They may accept you back at lower pay or in a different, less desirable position. If you want your job back, accept their conditions but emphasize you want your old job back. Then you can show them how serious you are about reacquiring your old job. This will give you time to re-earn their respect.\\nDon't allow yourself to be demeaned too much. Taking a lower position or a drop in pay is one thing. Being harassed or bad mouthed in the office is different and is unacceptable.\\n3. Asking to Return After a Layoff\\n3-1. Keep in contact with your business connections.\\nIf you want that job back, you need to know as soon as possible when it might become available again. You'll need to keep in contact with your former co-workers to see if work is picking up or getting too much to handle. You may even want to let your former boss know you're still available if they decide to hire another person.\\nIf you knew your boss or co-workers well, try to keep in touch outside of work. Have lunch or dinner with them. Join them for birthday parties or cookouts. You may want to have a social event and invite them to join you.\\n3-2. Update your résumé or curriculum vitae.\\nGo ahead and put your most recent job at the top of your job history. Use your time off to refresh and polish the document. Take time with your job summary to highlight the important work you performed. Emphasize the skills you gained from working at the company and what you have learned since.\\n3-3. Get supportive references from within the company.\\nIf you were laid off then chances are people in the company liked your work until business died down. People trust those that they know. They know they can rely on you if additional help is required. Go ahead and find people willing to vouch for you when business picks up again. Go ahead and ask them to permit you to include them on your list of references.\\nCo-workers are great references. Your boss or other managers and supervisors are better though. Their word means more to hiring personnel. Be careful to only use those references that you know will be positive though. Better to have co-workers who like you than a manager that barely tolerates you.\\n3-4. Submit your revised résumé or vitae to your previous employer.\\nThey may not be hiring but they will know you are serious about working for you again. If they need you your updated documentation will be on file. Hopefully they will be in touch soon.\\n3-5. Stay prepared to work again immediately.\\nIf the company you previously worked for knows you are interested in your old job they may have you on their list. Pay close attention to new trends and projects your former co-workers tell you about. If work suddenly picks up they may call you hoping you are available almost immediately. This saves them a lot of time and money forgoing an extensive job search.\\nWhenever you hear of a new process or procedure being started at your old employer, take time to read up on it. If you are close with your co-workers, ask them about what's going on. You want to stay as up-to-date as you can so that you can demonstrate skill and proficiency if asked to work again.\\n3-6. Protect your employment status.\\nWhen you get rehired you may want to remember you were previously laid off from that job. What happens if business slows down again? You may want to discuss an employment contract requiring the company to keep you on for at least a year. At the very least you can ask that your previous time working for the company be considered part of your history. In other words, you retain some seniority in the company despite being only recently rehired.\\nWarnings\\nAlways work a two week notice when quitting.[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Even if you feel like you need to leave now, work a notice. If you do not work a two week notice some employers will permanently blacklist you. You may never work for them again at any level. Furthermore, when future employers check with past employers they may want to know if you are reliable and may use a failure to work a notice as an indication you're unreliable.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Losing a job you enjoyed can be severely depressing. It can be difficult to find the same job in your area. Even if you do, you may find the atmosphere just isn't the same. When you lose a job, you lose friends too. Did you walk away from that good job in anger or despair? Or perhaps you were laid off? There are times when it might be possible to ask for your job back — and get it.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Petitioning to Return After Being Fired\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Assess the legitimacy of your termination.\", \"描述\": \"Why were you fired in the first place? Did you do something you were not supposed to do? Was it something avoidable? Did your boss or another employee have it out for you and set you up to be fired? There are a number of ways your termination could have been the appropriate response to bad behavior. It could also have been caused by an inappropriate reaction.\\nIf you know that there have been negative rumors spread about you in the office regarding protected statuses (e.g., religion, sexual orientation, or age) this is a good place to start. You may want to find out of others like yourself have lost their jobs too. If there's a pattern of discrimination, you may have a good case to get your job back.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Seek legal counsel if necessary.\", \"描述\": \"If your employer fired you for an illegitimate reason--even if legitimate reasons were part of the termination--you may want to consult a lawyer. You may be able to show your termination was not justified. This may effectively void your termination. If you are in a union or are under contract, you may need to do this immediately so that your lawyer(s) can negotiate your rehire.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Revise your résumé or vitae.\", \"描述\": \"Update your résumé or vitae with your most recent job. Highlight the valuable contributions you made to the company before your termination. This helps show you were a valuable member of the team before you were fired. Take time to polish up the wording to make yourself look as good as possible without overdoing it. You want to remind them of the work you did and why they hired you in the first place.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Reach out to your previous employer to determine if rehiring is a possibility.\", \"描述\": \"This can be tricky depending on the circumstances of your termination. If you are eligible for rehire they may give you a list of requirements you must meet to get your job back. If they give you a list, do it. Even if they say you cannot have your job back, you may ask to take a reduction in pay or a lesser job in hopes of reattaining your former status over time. If they flat out refuse to allow you back, do not take this as fact just yet.\\nOne way to do this is to have lunch or dinner with an old co-worker in your office. Your old boss works too if you left on good terms. You may be able to discuss open positions at the company. They may be able to tell you if the climate is good for you to re-apply.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Resolve any issue that may have caused your termination.\", \"描述\": \"If you have any personal issues, especially if they were explicit causes for your termination, work on them now. You need to have these resolved before you ask for your job back. Furthermore, you have plenty of time to resolve these issues while you are unemployed.\\nIf you were let go because of your behavior, seek counseling. You may have an unknown condition that needs to be medicated. If you know you have some disorder and are avoiding treatment, get treatment now. If your bad behavior is the only issue, try to work through it with a counselor.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Prepare for questions regarding your departure and time away.\", \"描述\": \"Have responses in place to likely questions such as \\\"Why should we take you back?\\\", \\\"Why do you want to work here again?\\\", and \\\"How would you feel about doing a different/lower level position from before?\\\". Be humble in your responses. You want to show them whatever issues existed in the past are no longer an issue.\\nEmphasize that your experience at the job make you a good candidate for rehire. Experience and know-how are valuable qualities no matter what other factors are in play. Even if your performance was poor at the end, highlight the work you did when they appreciated your skills.\\nIf the conditions under which you left were circumstantial, for instance a problem in your personal life, it is appropriate to mention that. A change in those circumstances would partially explain the value of your returning to the company.\\nAvoid being defensive regarding the cause of your termination. You are not there to re-litigate the past. Try to shift conversations about the past into a discussion about how you can help the company in the future.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Submit a new application for employment.\", \"描述\": \"Even if they are not explicitly hiring, go ahead and submit a new application. Include your revised résumé or vitae. This way they have the application on file if they need it or chose to disregard you. If you want your job back you must reapply or your old employer could refuse to hire you simply because you didn't apply.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Requesting to Return After Quitting\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Resolve your own issues first.\", \"描述\": \"If you quit there was likely a reason. Even if you think your boss was at fault, if you want your job back you will have to submit to them. You need to focus on your own attitude and desires. How can you adapt your attitude to be accepting of a future working in the company you just quit?\\nIf you go into a program and successfully complete it, be sure to inform your former employer of your success. This shows maturity and growth.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Apologize to your previous employer and boss if needed.\", \"描述\": \"Unless you left for a legitimate reason (e.g., moving away for college), by now you are thinking that something has changed between when you quit and now. Apologize to your previous employer and boss letting them know you regret your decision. That your attitude has changed and you have realized your mistake. If there were hard feelings, ask your employer to forgive your bad behavior and reassure them that you have changed. If they hire your back, they can depend on you long term.\\nTry to make your apology sincere by doing so in the most thoughtful way possible. Avoid apologizing by text or email. You should apologize face-to-face if possible. By phone if not. If you get their voicemail, ask for a call back or let them know you will call back. Do not apologize by voicemail.\\nIn your apology, admit fault and responsibility. Be sincere and let them know you know you made a mistake. If you said anything inappropriate, be sure to note you are sorry about that too. Don't be clever. \\\"I'm sorry, I was wrong\\\" shows strength of character.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Revise your résumé or curriculum vitae.\", \"描述\": \"Anytime you leave a job you should revise your résumé or vitae. Go ahead and do this so you can resubmit it in the future. Take time to polish it so it looks remarkable. You want to show your previous employer you can act professionally.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Submit your updated résumé or vitae to your previous employer.\", \"描述\": \"Go ahead and submit your résumé or vitae to your previous employer even if they are not hiring. You may decide to use your internal contacts to forward your résumé or vitae to the right person.\\nWhen you submit your updated materials, do so widely. Give them to the hiring personnel as well as your former boss. You may want to let other managers you were on good terms with know you are looking for work again. This way you follow the proper procedures by filing with the hiring people and you can get others interested in hiring you.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to answer questions about why you quit.\", \"描述\": \"Try to focus on your own change as a person rather than negative aspects of your job. The goal here is to show you are reliable. Even if you were not reliable in the past you can highlight your past mistakes and how you have resolved them. You are more reliable now than before because you resolved your issues.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Humble yourself before your boss.\", \"描述\": \"Your boss or employer may be amicable to your return pending some sort of penance. They may accept you back at lower pay or in a different, less desirable position. If you want your job back, accept their conditions but emphasize you want your old job back. Then you can show them how serious you are about reacquiring your old job. This will give you time to re-earn their respect.\\nDon't allow yourself to be demeaned too much. Taking a lower position or a drop in pay is one thing. Being harassed or bad mouthed in the office is different and is unacceptable.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Asking to Return After a Layoff\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Keep in contact with your business connections.\", \"描述\": \"If you want that job back, you need to know as soon as possible when it might become available again. You'll need to keep in contact with your former co-workers to see if work is picking up or getting too much to handle. You may even want to let your former boss know you're still available if they decide to hire another person.\\nIf you knew your boss or co-workers well, try to keep in touch outside of work. Have lunch or dinner with them. Join them for birthday parties or cookouts. You may want to have a social event and invite them to join you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Update your résumé or curriculum vitae.\", \"描述\": \"Go ahead and put your most recent job at the top of your job history. Use your time off to refresh and polish the document. Take time with your job summary to highlight the important work you performed. Emphasize the skills you gained from working at the company and what you have learned since.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get supportive references from within the company.\", \"描述\": \"If you were laid off then chances are people in the company liked your work until business died down. People trust those that they know. They know they can rely on you if additional help is required. Go ahead and find people willing to vouch for you when business picks up again. Go ahead and ask them to permit you to include them on your list of references.\\nCo-workers are great references. Your boss or other managers and supervisors are better though. Their word means more to hiring personnel. Be careful to only use those references that you know will be positive though. Better to have co-workers who like you than a manager that barely tolerates you.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Submit your revised résumé or vitae to your previous employer.\", \"描述\": \"They may not be hiring but they will know you are serious about working for you again. If they need you your updated documentation will be on file. Hopefully they will be in touch soon.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Stay prepared to work again immediately.\", \"描述\": \"If the company you previously worked for knows you are interested in your old job they may have you on their list. Pay close attention to new trends and projects your former co-workers tell you about. If work suddenly picks up they may call you hoping you are available almost immediately. This saves them a lot of time and money forgoing an extensive job search.\\nWhenever you hear of a new process or procedure being started at your old employer, take time to read up on it. If you are close with your co-workers, ask them about what's going on. You want to stay as up-to-date as you can so that you can demonstrate skill and proficiency if asked to work again.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Protect your employment status.\", \"描述\": \"When you get rehired you may want to remember you were previously laid off from that job. What happens if business slows down again? You may want to discuss an employment contract requiring the company to keep you on for at least a year. At the very least you can ask that your previous time working for the company be considered part of your history. In other words, you retain some seniority in the company despite being only recently rehired.\"}], \"注意事项\": [\"Always work a two week notice when quitting.[15]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n[16]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\\n\\n\\n Even if you feel like you need to leave now, work a notice. If you do not work a two week notice some employers will permanently blacklist you. You may never work for them again at any level. Furthermore, when future employers check with past employers they may want to know if you are reliable and may use a failure to work a notice as an indication you're unreliable.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,611 | How to Ask for a Bra | 1. Getting Ready to Make Your Request
1-1. Decide who to ask.
You will want to approach someone who you trust and who has the power to help you. This may be a parent, guardian, relative, or family friend. Choose a person who you know will keep your personal information private. The person that you ask will also need to have the money to purchase a bra for you or the ability to take you out shopping.
If you are uncertain about who to ask, it may help to write down a quick list of potential people. Then, try to assess the pros and cons of approaching each person on your list. For example, next to “Dad” you might write, “I trust him the most,” but, “I’m not sure he’d be comfortable talking about this.”
1-2. Practice your conversation.
Sit in front of a mirror and walk through a mock conversation in which you ask for a bra. You can do both sides of the dialogue. Or, you can get a trusted friend to practice with you. This will better prepare you to accept counterarguments and to stay calm.
1-3. Wait for the perfect time.
Don’t pick a time when the person is particularly rushed or stressed. They will be less likely to listen to your request and give you a positive answer. Instead, find a time when they are relaxed and in a good mood. If you are talking with a parent, perhaps after dinner would be a good idea.
1-4. Talk one-on-one.
To have their undivided attention, it is best if you talk with them when no one else is around. This will also ensure that whatever you have to say will stay private. Maybe mention something when you are both in the car. Or, perhaps try to get their attention right before you head to bed.
1-5. Drop a few hints.
If you are not quite ready to have a full conversation, you could briefly mention your request a few times over the course of a couple of weeks. Perhaps talk about how you will need some new clothing items for school? Or, you could talk about how a friend of yours just got her first bra. Keep it casual to see how your listener will react.
You might say, “I’ve been thinking that I might need some new sports clothes for gym class.” Then, you can bring up the idea of getting a sports bra and a regular one too.
1-6. Remember that you are not alone.
Many women have been exactly where you are and they were probably nervous too. This is a very common occurrence and can actually be an exciting time if you see it as another entry point into your teen years. If you are asking another woman for a bra, such as your mom, you might ask her about her first bra shopping experience.
1-7. Visualize another brave moment.
If your nerves seem to get the best of you, take a few minutes and think about a time when you were afraid and pushed through your fears. Tell yourself, “I did it then and I can do it now.” Just keep repeating this until you get up the courage to ask.
2. Making a Convincing Request
2-1. Follow the other person’s lead.
After you ask about a bra, they may want more information or they may want to tell you about their own experiences bra shopping. Be prepared for any kind of response. It is also a good idea to talk with them when your schedule is relatively open, in case they want to head out shopping right away.
2-2. Discuss your activity level.
If the person asks why you need a bra, you might want to talk about the activities that you are involved in that require a great deal of movement. This means that you are not only asking for a bra for personal reasons, but for health ones as well.
For example, you could tell them about how you play basketball and how you need more chest support as you are running around the court.
2-3. Talk about your peers.
If you’ve noticed that many of your friends have recently gotten bras, you might mention this as well. However, just be sure to reassure the person you’re asking that you are not giving in to peer pressure, you actually need a bra. But, putting everything into context as part of puberty may make this transition easier for all involved.
You might say, “All of my friends are currently wearing bras and, from talking with them, I think that it is a good time for me to start doing it as well.”
2-4. Suggest going shopping in general.
This is a good way to break the ice too. Ask if they would like to go shopping with you and then head to a department store. Then, browse around the racks like usual, but make your way to the lingerie and undergarments section.
Looking through the bra offerings of a large store can be a bit overwhelming, so before you go it is a good idea to hop online and browse through the various styles and sizes available.
2-5. Be prepared to hear “no.”
Even if you get up the guts to ask, it is quite possible that they will refuse to help you. If this is the case, you may want to ask again after a few days have passed. Or, you can save up some money and see if you can purchase one on your own.
Try to be conservative in what you ask for initially. Don’t request an elaborate or expensive push-up bra. Instead, keep your requests fairly minimal.
2-6. Write a note.
If you are simply too nervous to talk, then compose a quick letter to your parent or guardian in which you ask them to help you select and purchase a bra. Keep the letter brief and to-the-point. State your request in a polite way and then explain your reasoning. Make sure to tell them whether you would prefer a written or verbal response.
For example, you might write, “I think I need a bra because my chest frequently hurts when we play sports in school. I think that I could use the additional support that a bra would provide.”
3. Selecting a Bra
3-1. Start with a training or sports bra.
Sports bras are a smart first choice because they are easy to shop for and are comfortable as well. They will also offer support for your breasts without being constricting. A training bra is similar to a sports bra in that it is generally made from a breathable cotton-blend fabric and offers comfortable support. However, if you are a larger bust size you may need the support of a traditional, underwire bra.
If you are not sure that you want a bra quite yet, then you may want to consider buying a few camisole tops. These are light shirts made out of soft fabrics, such as cotton, that have bra support built in.
3-2. Buy one on your own.
If you feel overwhelmed by the whole process of asking and then shopping, you may just want to go online with your own money and purchase a bra for yourself. Of course, you’ll want to make sure that making this purchase solo will not upset anyone, including your parents. But, you can take your own measurements and then test out at least one option without any pressure.
3-3. Get measured by a professional.
Most stores have bra fitters on staff and they will help you by measuring both your bust and band size. Don’t be nervous or embarrassed about allowing them to measure you as they do this for a living and are used to women of all shapes and sizes. They will then help you to select a handful of bras that fit your body and budget.
3-4. Check the final fit.
After you have a bra in your hand in the store, try it on in the dressing room and take some time determining how well it fits. You want a bra that does not squeeze you in an uncomfortable way. You will also want to watch to make sure that the straps are not cutting into your shoulders or back.
3-5. Consider buying multiples.
You should probably buy a handful of bras, somewhere between four to six, when you decide to start wearing them daily. This will allow you to wash them after wearing and will keep the bras in good condition. Don’t feel as if you need to buy all of these at once, you can add to your undergarment wardrobe over time.
Tips
Don’t feel as if you have to go with a straight black or white bra for your first one. There are many patterns and types of fabric available. Choose one that makes you feel confident and is comfortable.[12]
X
Research source
It is quite possible that one of your breasts will develop quicker, or in a slightly different size, than the other. This is totally normal and not a cause for concern unless you are experiencing any pain as well.
Warnings
Wearing a bra should never be painful. If you are experiencing pain, you may need to try another style of bra.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Getting Ready to Make Your Request\\n1-1. Decide who to ask.\\nYou will want to approach someone who you trust and who has the power to help you. This may be a parent, guardian, relative, or family friend. Choose a person who you know will keep your personal information private. The person that you ask will also need to have the money to purchase a bra for you or the ability to take you out shopping.\\nIf you are uncertain about who to ask, it may help to write down a quick list of potential people. Then, try to assess the pros and cons of approaching each person on your list. For example, next to “Dad” you might write, “I trust him the most,” but, “I’m not sure he’d be comfortable talking about this.”\\n1-2. Practice your conversation.\\nSit in front of a mirror and walk through a mock conversation in which you ask for a bra. You can do both sides of the dialogue. Or, you can get a trusted friend to practice with you. This will better prepare you to accept counterarguments and to stay calm.\\n1-3. Wait for the perfect time.\\nDon’t pick a time when the person is particularly rushed or stressed. They will be less likely to listen to your request and give you a positive answer. Instead, find a time when they are relaxed and in a good mood. If you are talking with a parent, perhaps after dinner would be a good idea.\\n1-4. Talk one-on-one.\\nTo have their undivided attention, it is best if you talk with them when no one else is around. This will also ensure that whatever you have to say will stay private. Maybe mention something when you are both in the car. Or, perhaps try to get their attention right before you head to bed.\\n1-5. Drop a few hints.\\nIf you are not quite ready to have a full conversation, you could briefly mention your request a few times over the course of a couple of weeks. Perhaps talk about how you will need some new clothing items for school? Or, you could talk about how a friend of yours just got her first bra. Keep it casual to see how your listener will react.\\nYou might say, “I’ve been thinking that I might need some new sports clothes for gym class.” Then, you can bring up the idea of getting a sports bra and a regular one too.\\n1-6. Remember that you are not alone.\\nMany women have been exactly where you are and they were probably nervous too. This is a very common occurrence and can actually be an exciting time if you see it as another entry point into your teen years. If you are asking another woman for a bra, such as your mom, you might ask her about her first bra shopping experience.\\n1-7. Visualize another brave moment.\\nIf your nerves seem to get the best of you, take a few minutes and think about a time when you were afraid and pushed through your fears. Tell yourself, “I did it then and I can do it now.” Just keep repeating this until you get up the courage to ask.\\n2. Making a Convincing Request\\n2-1. Follow the other person’s lead.\\nAfter you ask about a bra, they may want more information or they may want to tell you about their own experiences bra shopping. Be prepared for any kind of response. It is also a good idea to talk with them when your schedule is relatively open, in case they want to head out shopping right away.\\n2-2. Discuss your activity level.\\nIf the person asks why you need a bra, you might want to talk about the activities that you are involved in that require a great deal of movement. This means that you are not only asking for a bra for personal reasons, but for health ones as well.\\nFor example, you could tell them about how you play basketball and how you need more chest support as you are running around the court.\\n2-3. Talk about your peers.\\nIf you’ve noticed that many of your friends have recently gotten bras, you might mention this as well. However, just be sure to reassure the person you’re asking that you are not giving in to peer pressure, you actually need a bra. But, putting everything into context as part of puberty may make this transition easier for all involved.\\nYou might say, “All of my friends are currently wearing bras and, from talking with them, I think that it is a good time for me to start doing it as well.”\\n2-4. Suggest going shopping in general.\\nThis is a good way to break the ice too. Ask if they would like to go shopping with you and then head to a department store. Then, browse around the racks like usual, but make your way to the lingerie and undergarments section.\\nLooking through the bra offerings of a large store can be a bit overwhelming, so before you go it is a good idea to hop online and browse through the various styles and sizes available.\\n2-5. Be prepared to hear “no.”\\nEven if you get up the guts to ask, it is quite possible that they will refuse to help you. If this is the case, you may want to ask again after a few days have passed. Or, you can save up some money and see if you can purchase one on your own.\\nTry to be conservative in what you ask for initially. Don’t request an elaborate or expensive push-up bra. Instead, keep your requests fairly minimal.\\n2-6. Write a note.\\nIf you are simply too nervous to talk, then compose a quick letter to your parent or guardian in which you ask them to help you select and purchase a bra. Keep the letter brief and to-the-point. State your request in a polite way and then explain your reasoning. Make sure to tell them whether you would prefer a written or verbal response.\\nFor example, you might write, “I think I need a bra because my chest frequently hurts when we play sports in school. I think that I could use the additional support that a bra would provide.”\\n3. Selecting a Bra\\n3-1. Start with a training or sports bra.\\nSports bras are a smart first choice because they are easy to shop for and are comfortable as well. They will also offer support for your breasts without being constricting. A training bra is similar to a sports bra in that it is generally made from a breathable cotton-blend fabric and offers comfortable support. However, if you are a larger bust size you may need the support of a traditional, underwire bra.\\nIf you are not sure that you want a bra quite yet, then you may want to consider buying a few camisole tops. These are light shirts made out of soft fabrics, such as cotton, that have bra support built in.\\n3-2. Buy one on your own.\\nIf you feel overwhelmed by the whole process of asking and then shopping, you may just want to go online with your own money and purchase a bra for yourself. Of course, you’ll want to make sure that making this purchase solo will not upset anyone, including your parents. But, you can take your own measurements and then test out at least one option without any pressure.\\n3-3. Get measured by a professional.\\nMost stores have bra fitters on staff and they will help you by measuring both your bust and band size. Don’t be nervous or embarrassed about allowing them to measure you as they do this for a living and are used to women of all shapes and sizes. They will then help you to select a handful of bras that fit your body and budget.\\n3-4. Check the final fit.\\nAfter you have a bra in your hand in the store, try it on in the dressing room and take some time determining how well it fits. You want a bra that does not squeeze you in an uncomfortable way. You will also want to watch to make sure that the straps are not cutting into your shoulders or back.\\n3-5. Consider buying multiples.\\nYou should probably buy a handful of bras, somewhere between four to six, when you decide to start wearing them daily. This will allow you to wash them after wearing and will keep the bras in good condition. Don’t feel as if you need to buy all of these at once, you can add to your undergarment wardrobe over time.\\nTips\\nDon’t feel as if you have to go with a straight black or white bra for your first one. There are many patterns and types of fabric available. Choose one that makes you feel confident and is comfortable.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\nIt is quite possible that one of your breasts will develop quicker, or in a slightly different size, than the other. This is totally normal and not a cause for concern unless you are experiencing any pain as well.\\nWarnings\\nWearing a bra should never be painful. If you are experiencing pain, you may need to try another style of bra.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"It may be uncomfortable to talk with your parents, guardians, or other adults about your desire to purchase a bra. But, once you identify an adult who you can trust, it is a good idea to let them know about the details of your request. Talk with them privately about your concerns and why you think now is the right time to buy. It may help to practice what you plan to say in advance. Stay calm and be prepared to listen to their concerns as well. Then, when you get a “yes,” head out to a store and buy that first bra.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Getting Ready to Make Your Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Decide who to ask.\", \"描述\": \"You will want to approach someone who you trust and who has the power to help you. This may be a parent, guardian, relative, or family friend. Choose a person who you know will keep your personal information private. The person that you ask will also need to have the money to purchase a bra for you or the ability to take you out shopping.\\nIf you are uncertain about who to ask, it may help to write down a quick list of potential people. Then, try to assess the pros and cons of approaching each person on your list. For example, next to “Dad” you might write, “I trust him the most,” but, “I’m not sure he’d be comfortable talking about this.”\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Practice your conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Sit in front of a mirror and walk through a mock conversation in which you ask for a bra. You can do both sides of the dialogue. Or, you can get a trusted friend to practice with you. This will better prepare you to accept counterarguments and to stay calm.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Wait for the perfect time.\", \"描述\": \"Don’t pick a time when the person is particularly rushed or stressed. They will be less likely to listen to your request and give you a positive answer. Instead, find a time when they are relaxed and in a good mood. If you are talking with a parent, perhaps after dinner would be a good idea.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Talk one-on-one.\", \"描述\": \"To have their undivided attention, it is best if you talk with them when no one else is around. This will also ensure that whatever you have to say will stay private. Maybe mention something when you are both in the car. Or, perhaps try to get their attention right before you head to bed.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Drop a few hints.\", \"描述\": \"If you are not quite ready to have a full conversation, you could briefly mention your request a few times over the course of a couple of weeks. Perhaps talk about how you will need some new clothing items for school? Or, you could talk about how a friend of yours just got her first bra. Keep it casual to see how your listener will react.\\nYou might say, “I’ve been thinking that I might need some new sports clothes for gym class.” Then, you can bring up the idea of getting a sports bra and a regular one too.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Remember that you are not alone.\", \"描述\": \"Many women have been exactly where you are and they were probably nervous too. This is a very common occurrence and can actually be an exciting time if you see it as another entry point into your teen years. If you are asking another woman for a bra, such as your mom, you might ask her about her first bra shopping experience.\"}, {\"编号\": 7, \"标题\": \"Visualize another brave moment.\", \"描述\": \"If your nerves seem to get the best of you, take a few minutes and think about a time when you were afraid and pushed through your fears. Tell yourself, “I did it then and I can do it now.” Just keep repeating this until you get up the courage to ask.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Making a Convincing Request\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Follow the other person’s lead.\", \"描述\": \"After you ask about a bra, they may want more information or they may want to tell you about their own experiences bra shopping. Be prepared for any kind of response. It is also a good idea to talk with them when your schedule is relatively open, in case they want to head out shopping right away.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Discuss your activity level.\", \"描述\": \"If the person asks why you need a bra, you might want to talk about the activities that you are involved in that require a great deal of movement. This means that you are not only asking for a bra for personal reasons, but for health ones as well.\\nFor example, you could tell them about how you play basketball and how you need more chest support as you are running around the court.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Talk about your peers.\", \"描述\": \"If you’ve noticed that many of your friends have recently gotten bras, you might mention this as well. However, just be sure to reassure the person you’re asking that you are not giving in to peer pressure, you actually need a bra. But, putting everything into context as part of puberty may make this transition easier for all involved.\\nYou might say, “All of my friends are currently wearing bras and, from talking with them, I think that it is a good time for me to start doing it as well.”\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Suggest going shopping in general.\", \"描述\": \"This is a good way to break the ice too. Ask if they would like to go shopping with you and then head to a department store. Then, browse around the racks like usual, but make your way to the lingerie and undergarments section.\\nLooking through the bra offerings of a large store can be a bit overwhelming, so before you go it is a good idea to hop online and browse through the various styles and sizes available.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Be prepared to hear “no.”\", \"描述\": \"Even if you get up the guts to ask, it is quite possible that they will refuse to help you. If this is the case, you may want to ask again after a few days have passed. Or, you can save up some money and see if you can purchase one on your own.\\nTry to be conservative in what you ask for initially. Don’t request an elaborate or expensive push-up bra. Instead, keep your requests fairly minimal.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Write a note.\", \"描述\": \"If you are simply too nervous to talk, then compose a quick letter to your parent or guardian in which you ask them to help you select and purchase a bra. Keep the letter brief and to-the-point. State your request in a polite way and then explain your reasoning. Make sure to tell them whether you would prefer a written or verbal response.\\nFor example, you might write, “I think I need a bra because my chest frequently hurts when we play sports in school. I think that I could use the additional support that a bra would provide.”\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Selecting a Bra\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Start with a training or sports bra.\", \"描述\": \"Sports bras are a smart first choice because they are easy to shop for and are comfortable as well. They will also offer support for your breasts without being constricting. A training bra is similar to a sports bra in that it is generally made from a breathable cotton-blend fabric and offers comfortable support. However, if you are a larger bust size you may need the support of a traditional, underwire bra.\\nIf you are not sure that you want a bra quite yet, then you may want to consider buying a few camisole tops. These are light shirts made out of soft fabrics, such as cotton, that have bra support built in.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Buy one on your own.\", \"描述\": \"If you feel overwhelmed by the whole process of asking and then shopping, you may just want to go online with your own money and purchase a bra for yourself. Of course, you’ll want to make sure that making this purchase solo will not upset anyone, including your parents. But, you can take your own measurements and then test out at least one option without any pressure.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Get measured by a professional.\", \"描述\": \"Most stores have bra fitters on staff and they will help you by measuring both your bust and band size. Don’t be nervous or embarrassed about allowing them to measure you as they do this for a living and are used to women of all shapes and sizes. They will then help you to select a handful of bras that fit your body and budget.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Check the final fit.\", \"描述\": \"After you have a bra in your hand in the store, try it on in the dressing room and take some time determining how well it fits. You want a bra that does not squeeze you in an uncomfortable way. You will also want to watch to make sure that the straps are not cutting into your shoulders or back.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Consider buying multiples.\", \"描述\": \"You should probably buy a handful of bras, somewhere between four to six, when you decide to start wearing them daily. This will allow you to wash them after wearing and will keep the bras in good condition. Don’t feel as if you need to buy all of these at once, you can add to your undergarment wardrobe over time.\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Don’t feel as if you have to go with a straight black or white bra for your first one. There are many patterns and types of fabric available. Choose one that makes you feel confident and is comfortable.[12]\\nX\\nResearch source\\n\", \"It is quite possible that one of your breasts will develop quicker, or in a slightly different size, than the other. This is totally normal and not a cause for concern unless you are experiencing any pain as well.\\n\"], \"注意事项\": [\"Wearing a bra should never be painful. If you are experiencing pain, you may need to try another style of bra.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
} | wikihow |
2,612 | How to Ask for a Date | 1. Approaching a Stranger
1-1. Make eye contact and smile.
Eye contact and smiling are two universal acts of flirting. Looking at someone from across a room lets them know that you notice them. When you smile, you're showing them that you are open to talking to them and that you may be interested in them, or that you like how they look. Don't force a smile or stare at them, however!
You can meet a potential date at school, work, a grocery store, a bar, or in other social situations.
Smiling also releases endorphins that make you happier and can make other people react in a positive way.
Maintain eye contact for two to three seconds before looking away. If you look back and the person is still looking in your direction, this is a good sign that they meant to lock eyes with you.
1-2. Evaluate the person's body language.
You can tell a lot just by the way someone looks at you or carries themselves. For example, if they point their feet toward you or lean in your direction, they may be interested in you. If they cross their arms and legs or point their knees away from you, they are not interested in you. Other signs include:
If the person smiles back, it's a good indicator that they wouldn't mind your company.
If they hold your gaze for more than two seconds, it's a good sign that they would talk to you.
If they avoid your gaze, look uncomfortable, or avoid you altogether, this is a sign that they aren't interested.
1-3. Introduce yourself.
Once you've evaluated that they like your attention, you can introduce yourself. Walk up to them with confidence by standing upright and keeping your shoulders back. Start by offering a handshake and saying hello. Begin the conversation by asking for their name or talking about something relatable.
For example, you can say something like, "Hey, my name's Alex. This band rocks. What do you think of them?"
Pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions. If they look disgusted, disinterested, or frightened, you may not want to introduce yourself.
1-4. Start a conversation.
Once you've introduced yourself to them and they appear receptive to you, you can start a conversation. Start by asking small questions, like how their day is so far or if they live in the area. If the conversation seems like it's stalling, ask them questions about themselves. Practice active listening by paying close attention to what the person has to say and where they are coming from. Improve your communication and listening skills by providing feedback, deferring judgemental thoughts, and responding appropriately. Instead of waiting for your turn to say something, internalize and listen to what the person is saying and show them that you're invested in the conversation.
You can enhance your listening skills by summarizing or repeating something that the person said. For example, if they explain how they liked a band before they went mainstream, you can say something like, "So what you're saying is that you liked their underground sound more than their poppy new music, right?"
Some good starter questions include: What do you like to do in your spare time? What kind of music do you prefer? Are you a student? Do you like art? or What's your favorite movie? However, don't plainly ask the question by itself. Integrate it into the conversation. For example say, "I just saw the new Guillermo Del Toro film and thought it was amazing. What movies do you like?"
If you're feeling nervous, try preparing some questions ahead of time. That could help you feel more confident once the conversation starts.
1-5. Listen to what they have to say.
If you listen to what they have to say, you'll determine whether the person would be interested in seeing you again. If they mention a significant other, then they will most likely not go on a date with you. If they seem happy and enthusiastic to talk to you, then it's likely they want to see you again.
If they avoid eye contact altogether and have short responses, you should take this as a sign to leave.
1-6. Ask them out.
If they seem comfortable and happy while talking to you, it's a good hint that they will say yes if you ask them out. Ask them for their contact information first, then see how they feel about meeting up with you later. It may be stressful to ask the question, but don't wait too long to ask, or you may never get the opportunity.
You can say something like, "I had a fun time talking to you. Do you want to do this again?"
Try having a specific date in mind when you ask the person out. For instance, you might want to say, "Do you want to grab some pizza with me after work next week?" or "There's a concert coming up, do you want to be my date?"
Consider a date that includes some type of activity, like playing trivia or riding bikes. That way, you'll have plenty to keep you engaged throughout the whole date, which can help you avoid any awkward silences.
2. Asking Someone You Know
2-1. Talk to them about their romantic life.
Determine whether the person you're interested in has a significant other, or whether they aren't interested in dating right now. Since you already know the person, it will be easier to have the conversation without making it seem like you are interested. Ask questions about where they are right now romantically, and determine whether they are ready to date.
You can start the conversation by saying, "Have you been dating around recently or just hanging out by yourself?"
You can also say, "I thought you were still seeing Derrick. Are you not together anymore?"
If you've noticed that the person isn't regularly in a relationship, ask them something like, "I notice that you don't date that often. Are you trying to concentrate on your studies instead?"
Do your best to talk to them so that they open up and start talking about their romantic desires.
Sometimes people don't date because they are busy with school or work, have recently got out of a relationship, or are enjoying their time being single.
Some single people may want to stay single.
2-2. Determine if there is any chemistry.
At this point, you already know that you like the person, but that doesn't mean that they like you back. Determine if there is any romantic chemistry by thinking about the times that you've spent together and whether there is any sexual tension when you hang out. Think about what you share in common and how you make each other feel.
If you are platonic friends, asking your friend out may upset them.
If you are playful and flirtatious, the chances are that the chemistry already exists.
2-3. Determine their interests.
Learn more about the person that you plan on asking out on a date. Ask them questions about what kinds of things make them happy. Have deep and honest conversations with them by opening up yourself. If you tell them what interests you, they will feel inclined to offer their opinions as well. Figure out what they enjoy, what they dislike, and how they like to spend their time socially. Use this information to come up with a date that they will enjoy and appreciate.
If they like staying inside, you can watch a movie on the TV instead of going out.
If they like to party, you can take them to the club or bar.
If they are interested in theater, you can search for shows coming up in your area.
2-4. Ask them out.
Once you feel comfortable and confident asking them out, give them a call on the phone or talk to them in person. Don't build up the event in your head and don't overthink your execution. This can actually create unrealistic expectations and you'll be upset if you are let down. Simply ask the person if they would like to go out with you at a particular time and date.
You can say something like, "Hey, I know you like plays and Wicked is coming into town. Would you like to go with me next Friday?"
If they can't go because of their schedule, ask them if they can go at a different time or date.
3. Indirectly Asking for a Date
3-1. Ask them out through a text or direct message online.
The stress of asking someone out can be too overwhelming for some people. In this case, asking someone out through a text or direct message may be easier. The downside is that they don't need to respond and technical issues could prevent them from seeing the message altogether.
In text you could write, "Hey. I'm going to see Spiderman this weekend. Would you want to come with me?"
If they don't respond, don't obsess over it. Wait a couple of hours before sending them a follow-up text.
3-2. Get a friend to ask them out for you.
If you don't have the person's contact information or are unable to ask them yourself, it's possible that you could get a mutual friend to ask for you. Contact your friend and tell them that you'd want to go on a date with the person. Tell your friend where you'd like to meet up and at what time and they can convey the message to the person that you like.
You can say something like, "Hey, I really like Mark, but I'm too nervous to ask him out. Do you think you could ask if he'd meet up after school for me?"
Sometimes if you let a friend know that you like someone, the person that you like will reach out to you themselves if they feel the same way.
3-3. Ask for a date indirectly during a conversation.
There are a couple of methods that you can employ that will make asking the person you know out much easier. One of these is through framing the question as a suggestion. For example, you can ask, "What are you doing this weekend?" If they say "Not sure" you can say something like "I was going to go to the movies. Would you want to come since you're not doing anything?"
You can also frame the question like it was their idea. For example, you can ask "What's the best Mexican restaurant around here?" If they respond, "La Tacerquio," you can say, "Sounds good. Do you want to go with me on Thursday for lunch?"
Tips
Try giving the other person a genuine compliment to make them feel good about themselves before you ask them out.[14]
X
Expert Source
Louie FelixDating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.
Make sure you are prepared to respond if the person turns you down. It is important to be both gracious and polite if the person doesn't want to go out with you. Don't get abusive, angry, or blame the other person. Say something like, "No problem, I was just wondering. Have a good night!" and walk away.
| {
"create_time": "20230517 10:48:05",
"回答明细": "{\"回答\": \"1. Approaching a Stranger\\n1-1. Make eye contact and smile.\\nEye contact and smiling are two universal acts of flirting. Looking at someone from across a room lets them know that you notice them. When you smile, you're showing them that you are open to talking to them and that you may be interested in them, or that you like how they look. Don't force a smile or stare at them, however!\\nYou can meet a potential date at school, work, a grocery store, a bar, or in other social situations.\\nSmiling also releases endorphins that make you happier and can make other people react in a positive way.\\nMaintain eye contact for two to three seconds before looking away. If you look back and the person is still looking in your direction, this is a good sign that they meant to lock eyes with you.\\n1-2. Evaluate the person's body language.\\nYou can tell a lot just by the way someone looks at you or carries themselves. For example, if they point their feet toward you or lean in your direction, they may be interested in you. If they cross their arms and legs or point their knees away from you, they are not interested in you. Other signs include:\\nIf the person smiles back, it's a good indicator that they wouldn't mind your company.\\nIf they hold your gaze for more than two seconds, it's a good sign that they would talk to you.\\nIf they avoid your gaze, look uncomfortable, or avoid you altogether, this is a sign that they aren't interested.\\n1-3. Introduce yourself.\\nOnce you've evaluated that they like your attention, you can introduce yourself. Walk up to them with confidence by standing upright and keeping your shoulders back. Start by offering a handshake and saying hello. Begin the conversation by asking for their name or talking about something relatable.\\nFor example, you can say something like, \\\"Hey, my name's Alex. This band rocks. What do you think of them?\\\"\\nPay close attention to their body language and facial expressions. If they look disgusted, disinterested, or frightened, you may not want to introduce yourself.\\n1-4. Start a conversation.\\nOnce you've introduced yourself to them and they appear receptive to you, you can start a conversation. Start by asking small questions, like how their day is so far or if they live in the area. If the conversation seems like it's stalling, ask them questions about themselves. Practice active listening by paying close attention to what the person has to say and where they are coming from. Improve your communication and listening skills by providing feedback, deferring judgemental thoughts, and responding appropriately. Instead of waiting for your turn to say something, internalize and listen to what the person is saying and show them that you're invested in the conversation.\\nYou can enhance your listening skills by summarizing or repeating something that the person said. For example, if they explain how they liked a band before they went mainstream, you can say something like, \\\"So what you're saying is that you liked their underground sound more than their poppy new music, right?\\\"\\nSome good starter questions include: What do you like to do in your spare time? What kind of music do you prefer? Are you a student? Do you like art? or What's your favorite movie? However, don't plainly ask the question by itself. Integrate it into the conversation. For example say, \\\"I just saw the new Guillermo Del Toro film and thought it was amazing. What movies do you like?\\\"\\nIf you're feeling nervous, try preparing some questions ahead of time. That could help you feel more confident once the conversation starts.\\n1-5. Listen to what they have to say.\\nIf you listen to what they have to say, you'll determine whether the person would be interested in seeing you again. If they mention a significant other, then they will most likely not go on a date with you. If they seem happy and enthusiastic to talk to you, then it's likely they want to see you again.\\nIf they avoid eye contact altogether and have short responses, you should take this as a sign to leave.\\n1-6. Ask them out.\\nIf they seem comfortable and happy while talking to you, it's a good hint that they will say yes if you ask them out. Ask them for their contact information first, then see how they feel about meeting up with you later. It may be stressful to ask the question, but don't wait too long to ask, or you may never get the opportunity.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I had a fun time talking to you. Do you want to do this again?\\\"\\nTry having a specific date in mind when you ask the person out. For instance, you might want to say, \\\"Do you want to grab some pizza with me after work next week?\\\" or \\\"There's a concert coming up, do you want to be my date?\\\"\\nConsider a date that includes some type of activity, like playing trivia or riding bikes. That way, you'll have plenty to keep you engaged throughout the whole date, which can help you avoid any awkward silences.\\n2. Asking Someone You Know\\n2-1. Talk to them about their romantic life.\\nDetermine whether the person you're interested in has a significant other, or whether they aren't interested in dating right now. Since you already know the person, it will be easier to have the conversation without making it seem like you are interested. Ask questions about where they are right now romantically, and determine whether they are ready to date.\\nYou can start the conversation by saying, \\\"Have you been dating around recently or just hanging out by yourself?\\\"\\nYou can also say, \\\"I thought you were still seeing Derrick. Are you not together anymore?\\\"\\nIf you've noticed that the person isn't regularly in a relationship, ask them something like, \\\"I notice that you don't date that often. Are you trying to concentrate on your studies instead?\\\"\\nDo your best to talk to them so that they open up and start talking about their romantic desires.\\nSometimes people don't date because they are busy with school or work, have recently got out of a relationship, or are enjoying their time being single.\\nSome single people may want to stay single.\\n2-2. Determine if there is any chemistry.\\nAt this point, you already know that you like the person, but that doesn't mean that they like you back. Determine if there is any romantic chemistry by thinking about the times that you've spent together and whether there is any sexual tension when you hang out. Think about what you share in common and how you make each other feel.\\nIf you are platonic friends, asking your friend out may upset them.\\nIf you are playful and flirtatious, the chances are that the chemistry already exists.\\n2-3. Determine their interests.\\nLearn more about the person that you plan on asking out on a date. Ask them questions about what kinds of things make them happy. Have deep and honest conversations with them by opening up yourself. If you tell them what interests you, they will feel inclined to offer their opinions as well. Figure out what they enjoy, what they dislike, and how they like to spend their time socially. Use this information to come up with a date that they will enjoy and appreciate.\\nIf they like staying inside, you can watch a movie on the TV instead of going out.\\nIf they like to party, you can take them to the club or bar.\\nIf they are interested in theater, you can search for shows coming up in your area.\\n2-4. Ask them out.\\nOnce you feel comfortable and confident asking them out, give them a call on the phone or talk to them in person. Don't build up the event in your head and don't overthink your execution. This can actually create unrealistic expectations and you'll be upset if you are let down. Simply ask the person if they would like to go out with you at a particular time and date.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"Hey, I know you like plays and Wicked is coming into town. Would you like to go with me next Friday?\\\"\\nIf they can't go because of their schedule, ask them if they can go at a different time or date.\\n3. Indirectly Asking for a Date\\n3-1. Ask them out through a text or direct message online.\\nThe stress of asking someone out can be too overwhelming for some people. In this case, asking someone out through a text or direct message may be easier. The downside is that they don't need to respond and technical issues could prevent them from seeing the message altogether.\\nIn text you could write, \\\"Hey. I'm going to see Spiderman this weekend. Would you want to come with me?\\\"\\nIf they don't respond, don't obsess over it. Wait a couple of hours before sending them a follow-up text.\\n3-2. Get a friend to ask them out for you.\\nIf you don't have the person's contact information or are unable to ask them yourself, it's possible that you could get a mutual friend to ask for you. Contact your friend and tell them that you'd want to go on a date with the person. Tell your friend where you'd like to meet up and at what time and they can convey the message to the person that you like.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"Hey, I really like Mark, but I'm too nervous to ask him out. Do you think you could ask if he'd meet up after school for me?\\\"\\nSometimes if you let a friend know that you like someone, the person that you like will reach out to you themselves if they feel the same way.\\n3-3. Ask for a date indirectly during a conversation.\\nThere are a couple of methods that you can employ that will make asking the person you know out much easier. One of these is through framing the question as a suggestion. For example, you can ask, \\\"What are you doing this weekend?\\\" If they say \\\"Not sure\\\" you can say something like \\\"I was going to go to the movies. Would you want to come since you're not doing anything?\\\"\\nYou can also frame the question like it was their idea. For example, you can ask \\\"What's the best Mexican restaurant around here?\\\" If they respond, \\\"La Tacerquio,\\\" you can say, \\\"Sounds good. Do you want to go with me on Thursday for lunch?\\\"\\nTips\\nTry giving the other person a genuine compliment to make them feel good about themselves before you ask them out.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLouie FelixDating Coach & Matchmaker\\nExpert Interview. 5 May 2020.\\nMake sure you are prepared to respond if the person turns you down. It is important to be both gracious and polite if the person doesn't want to go out with you. Don't get abusive, angry, or blame the other person. Say something like, \\\"No problem, I was just wondering. Have a good night!\\\" and walk away.\\n\", \"简要回答\": \"Asking someone out on a date can be stressful and anxiety-inducing. If you've ever felt overwhelmed or uncertain on how to approach asking someone out, don't worry, you're not alone. The stress of asking someone out combined with fear of rejection prevent many people from taking the first step in a romantic relationship. In America, 64% of people are single. Luckily, there are a couple of simple strategies and techniques that you can use to get a date with someone and overcome the fears that you may have.\", \"结构\": {\"方法\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Approaching a Stranger\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Make eye contact and smile.\", \"描述\": \"Eye contact and smiling are two universal acts of flirting. Looking at someone from across a room lets them know that you notice them. When you smile, you're showing them that you are open to talking to them and that you may be interested in them, or that you like how they look. Don't force a smile or stare at them, however!\\nYou can meet a potential date at school, work, a grocery store, a bar, or in other social situations.\\nSmiling also releases endorphins that make you happier and can make other people react in a positive way.\\nMaintain eye contact for two to three seconds before looking away. If you look back and the person is still looking in your direction, this is a good sign that they meant to lock eyes with you.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Evaluate the person's body language.\", \"描述\": \"You can tell a lot just by the way someone looks at you or carries themselves. For example, if they point their feet toward you or lean in your direction, they may be interested in you. If they cross their arms and legs or point their knees away from you, they are not interested in you. Other signs include:\\nIf the person smiles back, it's a good indicator that they wouldn't mind your company.\\nIf they hold your gaze for more than two seconds, it's a good sign that they would talk to you.\\nIf they avoid your gaze, look uncomfortable, or avoid you altogether, this is a sign that they aren't interested.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Introduce yourself.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've evaluated that they like your attention, you can introduce yourself. Walk up to them with confidence by standing upright and keeping your shoulders back. Start by offering a handshake and saying hello. Begin the conversation by asking for their name or talking about something relatable.\\nFor example, you can say something like, \\\"Hey, my name's Alex. This band rocks. What do you think of them?\\\"\\nPay close attention to their body language and facial expressions. If they look disgusted, disinterested, or frightened, you may not want to introduce yourself.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Start a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"Once you've introduced yourself to them and they appear receptive to you, you can start a conversation. Start by asking small questions, like how their day is so far or if they live in the area. If the conversation seems like it's stalling, ask them questions about themselves. Practice active listening by paying close attention to what the person has to say and where they are coming from. Improve your communication and listening skills by providing feedback, deferring judgemental thoughts, and responding appropriately. Instead of waiting for your turn to say something, internalize and listen to what the person is saying and show them that you're invested in the conversation.\\nYou can enhance your listening skills by summarizing or repeating something that the person said. For example, if they explain how they liked a band before they went mainstream, you can say something like, \\\"So what you're saying is that you liked their underground sound more than their poppy new music, right?\\\"\\nSome good starter questions include: What do you like to do in your spare time? What kind of music do you prefer? Are you a student? Do you like art? or What's your favorite movie? However, don't plainly ask the question by itself. Integrate it into the conversation. For example say, \\\"I just saw the new Guillermo Del Toro film and thought it was amazing. What movies do you like?\\\"\\nIf you're feeling nervous, try preparing some questions ahead of time. That could help you feel more confident once the conversation starts.\"}, {\"编号\": 5, \"标题\": \"Listen to what they have to say.\", \"描述\": \"If you listen to what they have to say, you'll determine whether the person would be interested in seeing you again. If they mention a significant other, then they will most likely not go on a date with you. If they seem happy and enthusiastic to talk to you, then it's likely they want to see you again.\\nIf they avoid eye contact altogether and have short responses, you should take this as a sign to leave.\"}, {\"编号\": 6, \"标题\": \"Ask them out.\", \"描述\": \"If they seem comfortable and happy while talking to you, it's a good hint that they will say yes if you ask them out. Ask them for their contact information first, then see how they feel about meeting up with you later. It may be stressful to ask the question, but don't wait too long to ask, or you may never get the opportunity.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"I had a fun time talking to you. Do you want to do this again?\\\"\\nTry having a specific date in mind when you ask the person out. For instance, you might want to say, \\\"Do you want to grab some pizza with me after work next week?\\\" or \\\"There's a concert coming up, do you want to be my date?\\\"\\nConsider a date that includes some type of activity, like playing trivia or riding bikes. That way, you'll have plenty to keep you engaged throughout the whole date, which can help you avoid any awkward silences.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Asking Someone You Know\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Talk to them about their romantic life.\", \"描述\": \"Determine whether the person you're interested in has a significant other, or whether they aren't interested in dating right now. Since you already know the person, it will be easier to have the conversation without making it seem like you are interested. Ask questions about where they are right now romantically, and determine whether they are ready to date.\\nYou can start the conversation by saying, \\\"Have you been dating around recently or just hanging out by yourself?\\\"\\nYou can also say, \\\"I thought you were still seeing Derrick. Are you not together anymore?\\\"\\nIf you've noticed that the person isn't regularly in a relationship, ask them something like, \\\"I notice that you don't date that often. Are you trying to concentrate on your studies instead?\\\"\\nDo your best to talk to them so that they open up and start talking about their romantic desires.\\nSometimes people don't date because they are busy with school or work, have recently got out of a relationship, or are enjoying their time being single.\\nSome single people may want to stay single.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Determine if there is any chemistry.\", \"描述\": \"At this point, you already know that you like the person, but that doesn't mean that they like you back. Determine if there is any romantic chemistry by thinking about the times that you've spent together and whether there is any sexual tension when you hang out. Think about what you share in common and how you make each other feel.\\nIf you are platonic friends, asking your friend out may upset them.\\nIf you are playful and flirtatious, the chances are that the chemistry already exists.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Determine their interests.\", \"描述\": \"Learn more about the person that you plan on asking out on a date. Ask them questions about what kinds of things make them happy. Have deep and honest conversations with them by opening up yourself. If you tell them what interests you, they will feel inclined to offer their opinions as well. Figure out what they enjoy, what they dislike, and how they like to spend their time socially. Use this information to come up with a date that they will enjoy and appreciate.\\nIf they like staying inside, you can watch a movie on the TV instead of going out.\\nIf they like to party, you can take them to the club or bar.\\nIf they are interested in theater, you can search for shows coming up in your area.\"}, {\"编号\": 4, \"标题\": \"Ask them out.\", \"描述\": \"Once you feel comfortable and confident asking them out, give them a call on the phone or talk to them in person. Don't build up the event in your head and don't overthink your execution. This can actually create unrealistic expectations and you'll be upset if you are let down. Simply ask the person if they would like to go out with you at a particular time and date.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"Hey, I know you like plays and Wicked is coming into town. Would you like to go with me next Friday?\\\"\\nIf they can't go because of their schedule, ask them if they can go at a different time or date.\"}]}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Indirectly Asking for a Date\", \"步骤\": [{\"编号\": 1, \"标题\": \"Ask them out through a text or direct message online.\", \"描述\": \"The stress of asking someone out can be too overwhelming for some people. In this case, asking someone out through a text or direct message may be easier. The downside is that they don't need to respond and technical issues could prevent them from seeing the message altogether.\\nIn text you could write, \\\"Hey. I'm going to see Spiderman this weekend. Would you want to come with me?\\\"\\nIf they don't respond, don't obsess over it. Wait a couple of hours before sending them a follow-up text.\"}, {\"编号\": 2, \"标题\": \"Get a friend to ask them out for you.\", \"描述\": \"If you don't have the person's contact information or are unable to ask them yourself, it's possible that you could get a mutual friend to ask for you. Contact your friend and tell them that you'd want to go on a date with the person. Tell your friend where you'd like to meet up and at what time and they can convey the message to the person that you like.\\nYou can say something like, \\\"Hey, I really like Mark, but I'm too nervous to ask him out. Do you think you could ask if he'd meet up after school for me?\\\"\\nSometimes if you let a friend know that you like someone, the person that you like will reach out to you themselves if they feel the same way.\"}, {\"编号\": 3, \"标题\": \"Ask for a date indirectly during a conversation.\", \"描述\": \"There are a couple of methods that you can employ that will make asking the person you know out much easier. One of these is through framing the question as a suggestion. For example, you can ask, \\\"What are you doing this weekend?\\\" If they say \\\"Not sure\\\" you can say something like \\\"I was going to go to the movies. Would you want to come since you're not doing anything?\\\"\\nYou can also frame the question like it was their idea. For example, you can ask \\\"What's the best Mexican restaurant around here?\\\" If they respond, \\\"La Tacerquio,\\\" you can say, \\\"Sounds good. Do you want to go with me on Thursday for lunch?\\\"\"}], \"小提示\": [\"Try giving the other person a genuine compliment to make them feel good about themselves before you ask them out.[14]\\nX\\nExpert Source\\n\\nLouie FelixDating Coach & Matchmaker\\nExpert Interview. 5 May 2020.\\n\", \"Make sure you are prepared to respond if the person turns you down. It is important to be both gracious and polite if the person doesn't want to go out with you. Don't get abusive, angry, or blame the other person. Say something like, \\\"No problem, I was just wondering. Have a good night!\\\" and walk away.\\n\"]}]}}",
"问题明细": "",
"扩展字段": ""
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