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1,683 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Are you invisible and you're gonna, like, fart on me? |
1,684 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Flip the pickle over. |
1,685 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | What, I'm gonna touch it, and you're gonna tell me it's an alien dick or something. |
1,686 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Come on, flip the pickle, Morty. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge. |
1,688 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | And? |
1,689 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | "And"? What more do you want tacked on to this? I turned myself into a pickle, and 9/11 was an inside job? |
1,690 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Was it? |
1,691 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Who cares, Morty? Global acts of terrorism happen every day. Uh, here's something that's never happened before |
1,692 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Are you going to, I mean, you know, is this the first part of some magic trick? |
1,693 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | I don't do magic, Morty, I do science. One takes brains, the other takes dark eye liner. |
1,694 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Well, can you move? Can you fly? |
1,695 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | I wouldn't be much of a pickle if I could. |
1,696 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | All right, well, do pickles live forever or -- |
1,697 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Morty, stop digging for hidden layers and just be impressed. I'm a pickle. |
1,698 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | I-I'm just trying to figure out why you would do this. Why anyone would do this. |
1,699 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't. |
1,700 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Morty, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late. Where's your grandpa? |
1,701 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Right here, sweetie. I'm a pickle! |
1,702 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | What?! Why would you -- Look, we're running late. We have to go. |
1,703 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Where are you guys going? |
1,704 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | We have an appointment downtown that was set a week ago and agreed upon by everyone, including you. |
1,705 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh, my God. Beth, oh, it totally slipped my mind. Geez, oh, man. I'm a pickle. I mean, I don't know if I can, ooh, geez. |
1,706 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Rick, did you do this on purpose to get out of family counseling? |
1,707 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Morty! |
1,708 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | It's okay, Beth. I understand Morty's suspicion. I've misled him before. Morty, turn me so we're making eye contact.Morty, I assure you, I would never "find a way" to "get out of" family therapy. I hope my lack of fingers doesn't prevent the perception of my air quotes. |
1,709 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Summer | Can't you just turn yourself back into a human? |
1,710 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Great question, Summer. The unfortunate answer is I did this to challenge myself. And it could take hours or even days before I'm able to figure out how to return to human form. But, I mean, you know, your mom could put me in a purse or a pocket, you know, if she really needs me to go. |
1,711 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Nobody needs anything! Okay, it's fine. I mean, you should just stay here and figure out how to stop being a pickle, okay? |
1,712 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Hey, Rick, why is there a syringe of mysterious fluid hanging directly over you? Also, why is the string attached to it running through a pair of scissors attached to a timer? And why is the time set to 10 minutes from now, exactly when we would have left for therapy? |
1,713 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Well, Morty, if you know must know, the syringe is completely unrelated to this discussion, and, therefore, it does not warrant further explanation. |
1,714 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Enough. Kids, it's time to go. We don't want to be late. |
1,715 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | W-w-what are you doing there, Beth? What are you doing there, sweetie? |
1,716 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Well, I mean, you don't want to get pierced by a needle full of liquid unrelated to your situation. How's that gonna help? |
1,717 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Can't argue with that. |
1,718 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Great. We'll see you later. |
1,719 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Hey, hey, be careful with that. It's for something else. It's really important, so don't break it. Okay, I may have fucked up here. Dup, ap, ap, pap, ut, dah, pap, pap, pap, pah. T-t-tah, tah. Oh, great. Stupid cat. |
1,720 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I know what it looks like to you, Izzy, but I'm not a snake! I've seen the YouTube videos, I know cats are scared of cucumbers and pickles because they think they're snakes. I'm not a snake! I'm a pickle, I'm a pickle! |
1,721 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Whoa! Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! |
1,722 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh, crap, that sun is bright. |
1,723 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Okay, come on. This can't really be the way I go out. This is the mega-genius equivalent of dying on the toilet. |
1,724 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | So... hot. This is how I'm gonna die. |
1,725 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh, God, moisture. |
1,726 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh, God, the moisture! Dial it back, God! Dial it back a little bit here! |
1,727 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh! Oh! |
1,728 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh, God! Perpendicular, perpendicular! |
1,729 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Oh, shiiit! Oh! Oh! Oh! |
1,730 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Come on. That's it. |
1,731 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Come get this delicious brine. |
1,732 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Aah! Come on! Come on, motherfucker! Come on! |
1,733 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Yes! |
1,734 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Summer | How is this even family therapy if Dad's not invited and Grandpa won't come? |
1,735 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | Yeah, and what's courageous about eating a hot dog? |
1,736 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | It's nobody's choice to be here, you knobs. The family was told to get counseling by your principal, even though it's not the family that was huffing pottery glaze in the art room and desk wetting in history class. |
1,738 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Mr. Goldenfold | Oh, the Smith family, minus a dad. You're patients of Dr. Wong, too? |
1,739 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Temporarily. By order of the school. |
1,740 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Mr. Goldenfold | Me too. How long have you all been eating poop? |
1,741 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Summer | We... have never... eaten poop. |
1,742 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Mr. Goldenfold | Uh, me, neither. Say, where did my family get off to? |
1,743 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | Smith family, I'm Dr. Wong. Come on in. |
1,744 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | I was told there was a grandpa that might be joining us? |
1,745 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | He got wrapped up in an experiment. He's a scientist. Like, legit, like on an inter-galactic, sci-fi level. His work is very -- |
1,746 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Morty | He turned himself into a pickle. |
1,747 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Morty, Mom's talking. I'm sorry, I suppose that's a good segue into our little discipline cases here. |
1,748 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | Does Grandpa turn himself into a pickle a lot? |
1,749 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | What? No, what kind of question is that? |
1,750 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | The kind that wasn't designed to attack or hurt you in any way. |
1,751 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Oh, Jesus Christ, one of these. No, my father has never turned himself into a pickle before. He's unpredictable and eccentric. The whole family is. Speaking of which... |
1,752 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | Okay, let's open things up to the whole family, and let me ask this. Why do we think Grandpa turned himself into a pickle? |
1,753 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Wow. Ugh. |
1,760 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | I didn't say my father is perfect, I said his work is important. |
1,761 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Summer | And she's saying what's important is that Grandpa lied to you to get out of coming here. |
1,762 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Oh, he did not! |
1,763 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | Let's do an experiment here. I get the impression this family values science. So raise your hand if you feel certain you know what was in the syringe. |
1,764 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Do you really not see what's happening here? |
1,765 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | Tell me. |
1,766 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Well, Dr. Wong -- by the way, racist name -- obviously, Morty and Summer are seizing on your arbitrary pickle obsession as an end run around what was supposed to be their therapy. |
1,767 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Dr. Wong | Oh, I think this pickle incident is a better path than any other to the heart of your family's dysfunction. I think it's possible that you and your father have a very specific dynamic. I don't think it's one that rewards emotion or vulnerability. I think it may punish them. I think it's possible that dynamic eroded your marriage, and is infecting your kids with a tendency to misdirect their feelings. |
1,768 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Fuck you. |
1,770 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Beth | Fuck both of you, too. |
1,771 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | By the way, you might notice that in spite of your numerous distinctive features, I never gave you a name like Scar or Stripe or Goliath. That's because, to me, you aren't special. |
1,773 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | God damn it, I love myself. |
1,774 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Pickle Riiick! |
1,775 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Get that parkour. Get that parkour! |
1,776 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Hey, it's cool. Just need to find the nearest exit. |
1,777 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Whoa, whoa, whoa! No need to freak out. |
1,778 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Whoa! Who in the fuck's toilet is this? |
1,779 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | What is it? |
1,782 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | Where is it? |
1,784 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | We have 34 armed guards, and we can't kill a pickle? |
1,787 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | Put him on, and locate the phone he's using. |
1,788 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Hi, um, can you, uh please let me out. |
1,789 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | Your mere presence in this building violates international law. |
1,791 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | You should know those men killed themselves. |
1,792 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | And how is that? |
1,793 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | They didn't let me out. |
1,795 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | Shut your mouth and do your jobs, you fucking children! |
1,796 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | Uh, is this not a good time or...? |
1,797 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | Some of my men are calling you "Solen'ya" |
1,798 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Pickle Rick | That'd be a lucky break for you. |
1,801 | 3 | 3 | Pickle Rick | Agency Director | Ah. |
Subsets and Splits