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How you get to sleep a little bit earlier
false
Cooking off the cuff: don't forget to forget that celery root!
false
Hidden camera catches dog living the high life on forbidden bed after owner leaves
false
Why did hitler commit suicide ? because he couldn't pay the gas bill
true
Cookie dough recipes that were never meant to be baked
false
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
true
I used to know a joke about jonestown... but the punchline's too long.
true
Taylor swift and calvin harris build a snowman to remind you they're perfect
false
What do you call a greedy roman god? jewpiter.
true
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
true
The church of scientology is launching a tv network
false
What do you call an italian suppository? innuendo.
true
Did you hear about the two gay irishmen? patrick fitzgerald and gerald fitzpatrick.
true
Queen drops in on manchester wedding, stuns newlywed couple
false
Chuck norris once kicked a horse in the jaw, it's decendents are known today as giraffes.
true
Kanye west's fashion show not happening this season
false
Why are jews so good at studying ? cause they went to concentration camp !
true
I bet if that malaysian plane had stolen tweets, some of you guys would've found it already.
true
Getting married could boost the economy, says gallup poll
false
Aziz ansari drops 'eat pray love'-esque trailer for 'master of none' season 2
false
Pentagon reportedly to send nearly 4,000 more troops to afghanistan
false
So a virgin priest and a virgin nun walk into a bar.
true
Dad- i want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *can i have oreos?*
true
What did france say to turkey? that's not nice.
true
Dutch authorities identify highly contagious bird flu strain
false
Student database backed by gates foundation jazzes tech startups, spooks parents
false
What do you call two mexicans fighting one another juan on juan
true
Jimmy fallon takes on the roots in 'family feud'
false
Tim roth says his grandfather sexually abused him and his dad
false
Celebrity couples: divorced stars who dated younger men post-split
false
Scott pruitt just gutted rules to fight the nation’s ‘second biggest toxic pollution threat’
false
So that's why you should be eating lentils
false
How did the roman feel when he cannibalized his nagging wife? glad-he-ater
true
Schools stand up for trans students as gop withdraws protections
false
Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping and the other third making viral videos.
true
What are the optimal conditions for a smooth flight?
false
Confucius say... man who walks everyday barefoot will have a tough sole
true
I like my women how i like my computer. on my lap. turned on. virus free.
true
How i start my day and tone my butt
false
Don't make jokes about 9/11... they're just plane wrong.
true
Acclaimed 'aladdin' star james monroe iglehart talks about life beyond the tony awards
false
Mcdonald's nutritionist cindy goody: our food is healthy
false
Jewelry store robber ties up worker, takes off with $54k in merchandise
false
Teen does more pullups in a day than you'll do in a lifetime
false
Prayer hasn't worked, maybe we should consider gun reform?
false
No, i do not feel bad going on getaways without my stepchildren
false
Are you a victim of crap on the internet?
false
Jay-z's voice is so beautiful. i wish he rapped about stuff i cared about.
true
Black women on tv are living their best selves and we're here for it
false
Nicki minaj is the best part of robin thicke's new song 'back together'
false
What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? a red jellyfish.
true
Please stop making 9/11 jokes ... they're very plane.
true
Somebody once told me i was a real skeptic... i didn't believe 'em.
true
Q: why did mitt romney feed his cows money? a: he wanted rich milk.
true
I like my underwear the way i like my ronda rousey fights boxer brief
true
Mom survey says: three is the most stressful number of kids
false
What did one tampon say to the other? nothin, they're both stuck up cunts.
true
I am a veteran and here's why i changed my mind on colin kaepernick
false
How do you get two rednecks to play banjo in unison? shoot the first one.
true
A roach remembered: ridiculous bug memorials are kind of awesome (video)
false
Minnesota has 4 seasons almost winter, winter, almost summer, and road construction.
true
What noise does a cat make when it drives past really fast? meeeeeeeoooooowwwww
true
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. liquor before social interactions, very helpful.
true
Free wi-fi is more dangerous than you think
false
Why didn't the french soldier fight in the battle of france? he was on a summer retreat!
true
I like my girls like i like my computers... without viruses.
true
Doctors urge measles shots as disneyland outbreak spreads
false
How did the lion lose at poker? he was playing with a cheetah.
true
Voters face some confusion at polls in alabama special election
false
A lonely glacier makes a break for it in the big city
false
What type of music do lightning bolts listen to? -rock and roll
true
The 10 healthiest chain restaurants in the u.s.
false
Sm a masochist walks up to a sadist. masochist: hurt me. hurt me! sadist: no.
true
Gwist recap: the best video clips from the gay youtube channel, oct. 13-19
false
Omg! there's a serial killer on the loose! omg. wtf are you doing?! hiding my damn cereal!
true
What happened to the frog that broke down? it got toad away.
true
My friend says his new girlfriend takes his breath away ..but that's because she is inflatable
true
I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me... you better be still holding that ladder
true
Grapey. -me after every wine at the wine-tasting
true
The iconic sandwiches of the world, from banh mi to zapiekanka
false
Gps guide: amanda slavin shares how she lives a fulfilling life
false
I got 99 problems, but falling asleep ain't one. ~ jay-zzz
true
What is cab calloway's favorite type of humor? 'scat'alogical
true
Pregnant women facing miami's blazing heat told to wear long sleeves to prevent zika
false
Simone biles continues her world domination, wins third gold medal
false
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear caution! wide turn
true
Celebrity chef who was once homeless gives back to the community that fed him
false
19 ways having a dog will prepare you for kids
false
I used to have a viagra addiction. it was the hardest part of my life.
true
Jilted ex-boyfriend sends nude photos of teacher to students, staff: police
false
You no longer need a license to carry a concealed weapon in new hampshire
false
Police are like a box of chocolates they'll kill your dog.
true
I don't mean to interrupt people. i just randomly remember things and get really excited.
true
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? usain bolt can finish a race
true
Kids are like farts... i hate everyone elses but for some weird reason i like my own.
true
This might just be the most 'first take'-y poll of all time
false
Nicholas kirkwood: kate middleton's shoes aren't 'princess-y' enough (photos)
false
Oh my god you're a dog hey smell me i'm a dog too - dogs
true
Who is the lone aardvark's faithful indian companion? tanto
true
House poor but keeping up with the joneses
false