MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

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For what? Breaking my heart or ruining sex for me with any other man?	Uh -- both?
Uh -- both?	Forget it. I've already spent too many hours crying over you.
I didn't even get to go to his birthday party.	No!
No!	What could I do? He's a man who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle- aged high-school dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass. Happens every day. At least to women like me.
What could I do? He's a man who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle- aged high-school dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass. Happens every day. At least to women like me.	That's terrible!
That's terrible!	So, what's this Sarah got that you don't? Three tits?
So, what's this Sarah got that you don't? Three tits?	She's from Connecticut. She belongs to his stupid country club.
She's from Connecticut. She belongs to his stupid country club.	Is she as pretty as you?
You showed up Warner in class? You're supposed to be showing up Sarah.	I couldn't help it! It was the most fun I've had since I've been in law school. Not only was I good enough for Warner -- I was better than him. He has to see serious I am now. Even Donovan was impressed, and he's a total hard-ass.
God, that felt great!	Look at him. He's still scratching his head.
Look at him. He's still scratching his head.	Which must be a nice vacation for his balls...
So, this is the only interaction you two have ever had?	No. Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of "Fine".
No. Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of "Fine".	Have you ever considered asking him if he'd like a cold beverage? Or perhaps a neck massage?
Have you ever considered asking him if he'd like a cold beverage? Or perhaps a neck massage?	What's the point? Look at me.
What's the point? Look at me.	I am. And I'm looking at a beautiful, fabulous, sexy woman.
You can't go home!	What's the point of staying? All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs. No one's ever going to take me seriously. The people at law school don't, Warner doesn't -- I don't even think my parents take me seriously. They wanted me to grow up and become a Victoria's Secret model who marries a rock star. Now, for the first time, it seemed like someone expected me to do something better with my life than wear underwear for a living. But I was kidding myself -- Donovan didn't see me as a lawyer. He saw me as a piece of ass just like everyone else. It turns out, I am a joke.
The idiot speaks.	Although Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point, I have to wonder if the defendant kept a thorough record of each sperm emission made throughout his life?
Can someone please tell Rick that he is not the only Sigma Chi with a big penis?	You guys are so sweet!
You have Stromwell.	Did she do that to you, too?
Did she do that to you, too?	No, but she made me cry once. Not in class -- I waited until I got to my room, but yeah, she can pretty much shrivel your balls -- or you know, your whatevers.
No, but she made me cry once. Not in class -- I waited until I got to my room, but yeah, she can pretty much shrivel your balls -- or you know, your whatevers.	Neat.
Neat.	Don't worry. It gets better. Who else do you have?
Explain to me why you're so anti- Brooke.	Uh, for starters, she won't give us an alibi --
Uh, for starters, she won't give us an alibi --	Aside from that.
Aside from that.	She's completely untrustworthy.
She's completely untrustworthy.	Why?
Why?	She married an old man, she's made a living on telling women they're too fat, she hawks her crap on the Home Shopping Network...
She married an old man, she's made a living on telling women they're too fat, she hawks her crap on the Home Shopping Network...	A) He's an old man with a really big penis. B) She never told me I was fat. And C) Victoria Principal sells on that network.
A) He's an old man with a really big penis. B) She never told me I was fat. And C) Victoria Principal sells on that network.	And D) Brooke is obviously hiding something.
And D) Brooke is obviously hiding something.	But maybe it's not what you think.
But maybe it's not what you think.	But maybe it is --
You're kind of being a butt-head right now.	How do you figure?
How do you figure?	Because people aren't always what they seem to be and you refuse to see that. Have a little faith. You might be surprised.
I can't believe you called me a butthead. No one's called me a butt- head since ninth grade.	Maybe not to your face...
Okay, how would it work?	It would be a full-service law firm, by and for blondes, providing positive blonde role models and community outreach in high blonde areas. I mean, think about it -- name one blonde intellectual role model.
It would be a full-service law firm, by and for blondes, providing positive blonde role models and community outreach in high blonde areas. I mean, think about it -- name one blonde intellectual role model.	I can't.
I can't.	That is a direct result of anti- blonde discrimination!
That is a direct result of anti- blonde discrimination!	Wait -- Hilary Clinton.
Wait -- Hilary Clinton.	If she were a true blonde, she would've left the cheating bastard. Blondes don't let their husbands get fellated by brunettes and live to tell about it.
In that case, maybe Heyworth got fellated by a brunette and Brooke caught him.	Exactly how much gorilla sex do you think a sixty-year-old man can take?
Exactly how much gorilla sex do you think a sixty-year-old man can take?	That's not really a topic that keeps me up at night -- but maybe it should.
What the hell is that for?	The bags under your eyes. You're an attractive man, but you need to take better care of yourself.
The bags under your eyes. You're an attractive man, but you need to take better care of yourself.	I don't -- Do that stuff.
I don't -- Do that stuff.	Well, you should -- If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you project joy into the world.
Well, you should -- If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you project joy into the world.	Projecting joy is not my job.
Projecting joy is not my job.	Fine. Sorry I brought it up.
It made me realize something. I'm an idiot.	Really?
Friend Ogg. Excuse our enthusiasm, occasioned as it was by a fondness for you.	Honeythorn Gump, is it? I've not seen your ugly face since you sold me a jug of cow piss claiming it was dragon's tears.
Honeythorn Gump, is it? I've not seen your ugly face since you sold me a jug of cow piss claiming it was dragon's tears.	Well, bygones're bygones, I always say.
Well, bygones're bygones, I always say.	Or was it the time you and Jimmy Squarefoot stole the golden apples I'd forged.
Or was it the time you and Jimmy Squarefoot stole the golden apples I'd forged.	Twas Jimmy done that, I merely stood for the blame unfairly... but, here now, Ogg, this be no time to rehash old differences, I've friends along in need of safe haven for the night.
Twas Jimmy done that, I merely stood for the blame unfairly... but, here now, Ogg, this be no time to rehash old differences, I've friends along in need of safe haven for the night.	Who might these friends be?
Who might these friends be?	Screwball you know, and many other of the wee folk. We serve as escort for our grand champion, Jack o' the Green.
That much magic I can offer ye, a small measure of entertainment at best. Making the world a frozen hell is beyond me modest powers.	Then, what's gone wrong? Why did it happen?
Then, what's gone wrong? Why did it happen?	If ye want more tricks, I'm your man, but for big questions ye must go elsewhere.
If ye want more tricks, I'm your man, but for big questions ye must go elsewhere.	Don't you care about what's happened?
Don't you care about what's happened?	Course we care. What good's the world locked in a season of death. Frozen up, no folks to scare out of their wits on a summer's night; no babies to tickle; no more spells to cast... Think that's an enjoyable prospect?
Course we care. What good's the world locked in a season of death. Frozen up, no folks to scare out of their wits on a summer's night; no babies to tickle; no more spells to cast... Think that's an enjoyable prospect?	There must be an answer somewhere.
There must be an answer somewhere.	True... But it won't come easy or free. If ye want to ask, ask Jenny Greenteeth.
True... But it won't come easy or free. If ye want to ask, ask Jenny Greenteeth.	Jenny Greenteeth? Who's she?
Don't see why I can't ride, too! I'm second in command, damn it!	The colt's still too small.
The colt's still too small.	I'm small... and I can make myself smaller still... Small as a bee! Small as dust...! Want to see me do it?
I'm small... and I can make myself smaller still... Small as a bee! Small as dust...! Want to see me do it?	We've no time for tricks this day, Honeythorn Gump.
We've no time for tricks this day, Honeythorn Gump.	Tricks, is it? Why I'll trick ye! Ungrateful whelp! I'll sour your milk and bird droppings'll fall from the sky wherever ye walk.
Tricks, is it? Why I'll trick ye! Ungrateful whelp! I'll sour your milk and bird droppings'll fall from the sky wherever ye walk.	Save your mischief for the Black Baron.
Save your mischief for the Black Baron.	Aye! That too.
Aye! That too.	You'll need more than bird droppings for Blackheart.
You'll need more than bird droppings for Blackheart.	I'll drop a cow on the knave!
I'll drop a cow on the knave!	Drop a mountain on him and we won't need our troops.
This has got to stop!	He escaped. He's going back in.
He escaped. He's going back in.	Does it give you some sort of perverse pleasure to expose your...penis in plain view of my sixteen year-old daughter?
Does it give you some sort of perverse pleasure to expose your...penis in plain view of my sixteen year-old daughter?	There are no windows facing my...exposure.
There are no windows facing my...exposure.	George, this is the third time.
George, this is the third time.	The plumber's due out on Friday.
The plumber's due out on Friday.	You'll have to explain that to the police.
You'll have to explain that to the police.	You were the only neighbor I could tolerate.
You were the only neighbor I could tolerate.	I did warn you.
I did warn you.	My life is a warning. I just can't figure out for what.
I never said anything. I haven't done anything.	I know what the deal is. Josh is a pimp. I'm not stupid.
I know what the deal is. Josh is a pimp. I'm not stupid.	You don't know what the deal is. There is no fucking deal.
I've been using since I was twelve! You're all so unbelievably stupid. You didn't give a shit about anything I did until now!	I'll apologize for everything but today...Today I give a shit.
I'll apologize for everything but today...Today I give a shit.	You're too fucking late.
You're too fucking late.	The gloves on the table are for you.
The gloves on the table are for you.	You can't make me do a thing.
You can't make me do a thing.	Sit down for a second.
Sit down for a second.	No.
Oh, so you're in the big shit now! Child abuse. People go to prison for what you just did to me.	My dad used to play a game. I never really understood what it was until after he was gone.
I was holding for someone. That wasn't even mine.	The game was to make me smaller than he was. No matter what. He could be almost invisible as a human being, but I had to be smaller. So if I got good grades, I was a pussy for not playing football. If I cut my hair for him, it wasn't short enough. If I shaved it, I looked like a psycho. I never won the game. Not once. And if he couldn't make me smaller with words...
When you started first grade and your mom went to work, it was so she could save for an apartment. But then she met Peter and skipped the idea of renting.	He's got nothing to do with me.
He's got nothing to do with me.	I couldn't imagine how I could compete with him for any part of you. So, I didn't. He wanted you to have his last name...I let him even take that.
I couldn't imagine how I could compete with him for any part of you. So, I didn't. He wanted you to have his last name...I let him even take that.	He was a prick when I was six, and he's a prick today.
Was bankrupt and dead before I was twenty.	Left you this place.
Left you this place.	It was in my name so he wouldn't lose it. He stole it from everyone that deserved it by putting me on title.
It was in my name so he wouldn't lose it. He stole it from everyone that deserved it by putting me on title.	Do you know what I'd give to have this! Forget how I got it! I can't afford dirt in this town. I live in Riverside, Goddammitt And you get to piss in the ocean.
It's my day off. I thought I'd help with the plumbing.	I need you to do me a favor.
I need you to do me a favor.	God, you look like crap, George.
God, you look like crap, George.	I want you to find someone for me.
Why do you let your dog crap on his lawn, day after day?	I don't let him. He just loves to.
Is your back still killing you?	I didn't think you'd come today.
I didn't think you'd come today.	I kept thinking about it, what you said... I hope you were trying to keep me away fro the sake of me.

For what? Breaking my heart or ruining sex for me with any other man?

Uh -- both?

Forget it. I've already spent too many hours crying over you.

I didn't even get to go to his birthday party.

No!

What could I do? He's a man who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle- aged high-school dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass. Happens every day. At least to women like me.

That's terrible!

So, what's this Sarah got that you don't? Three tits?

She's from Connecticut. She belongs to his stupid country club.

Is she as pretty as you?

You showed up Warner in class? You're supposed to be showing up Sarah.

I couldn't help it! It was the most fun I've had since I've been in law school. Not only was I good enough for Warner -- I was better than him. He has to see serious I am now. Even Donovan was impressed, and he's a total hard-ass.

God, that felt great!

Look at him. He's still scratching his head.

Which must be a nice vacation for his balls...

So, this is the only interaction you two have ever had?

No. Sometimes I say "Okay" instead of "Fine".

Have you ever considered asking him if he'd like a cold beverage? Or perhaps a neck massage?

What's the point? Look at me.

I am. And I'm looking at a beautiful, fabulous, sexy woman.

You can't go home!

What's the point of staying? All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs. No one's ever going to take me seriously. The people at law school don't, Warner doesn't -- I don't even think my parents take me seriously. They wanted me to grow up and become a Victoria's Secret model who marries a rock star. Now, for the first time, it seemed like someone expected me to do something better with my life than wear underwear for a living. But I was kidding myself -- Donovan didn't see me as a lawyer. He saw me as a piece of ass just like everyone else. It turns out, I am a joke.

The idiot speaks.

Although Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point, I have to wonder if the defendant kept a thorough record of each sperm emission made throughout his life?

Can someone please tell Rick that he is not the only Sigma Chi with a big penis?

You guys are so sweet!

You have Stromwell.

Did she do that to you, too?

No, but she made me cry once. Not in class -- I waited until I got to my room, but yeah, she can pretty much shrivel your balls -- or you know, your whatevers.

Neat.

Don't worry. It gets better. Who else do you have?

Explain to me why you're so anti- Brooke.

Uh, for starters, she won't give us an alibi --

Aside from that.

She's completely untrustworthy.

Why?

She married an old man, she's made a living on telling women they're too fat, she hawks her crap on the Home Shopping Network...

A) He's an old man with a really big penis. B) She never told me I was fat. And C) Victoria Principal sells on that network.

And D) Brooke is obviously hiding something.

But maybe it's not what you think.

But maybe it is --

You're kind of being a butt-head right now.

How do you figure?

Because people aren't always what they seem to be and you refuse to see that. Have a little faith. You might be surprised.

I can't believe you called me a butthead. No one's called me a butt- head since ninth grade.

Maybe not to your face...

Okay, how would it work?

It would be a full-service law firm, by and for blondes, providing positive blonde role models and community outreach in high blonde areas. I mean, think about it -- name one blonde intellectual role model.

I can't.

That is a direct result of anti- blonde discrimination!

Wait -- Hilary Clinton.

If she were a true blonde, she would've left the cheating bastard. Blondes don't let their husbands get fellated by brunettes and live to tell about it.

In that case, maybe Heyworth got fellated by a brunette and Brooke caught him.

Exactly how much gorilla sex do you think a sixty-year-old man can take?

That's not really a topic that keeps me up at night -- but maybe it should.

What the hell is that for?

The bags under your eyes. You're an attractive man, but you need to take better care of yourself.

I don't -- Do that stuff.

Well, you should -- If you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you project joy into the world.

Projecting joy is not my job.

Fine. Sorry I brought it up.

It made me realize something. I'm an idiot.

Really?

Friend Ogg. Excuse our enthusiasm, occasioned as it was by a fondness for you.

Honeythorn Gump, is it? I've not seen your ugly face since you sold me a jug of cow piss claiming it was dragon's tears.

Well, bygones're bygones, I always say.

Or was it the time you and Jimmy Squarefoot stole the golden apples I'd forged.

Twas Jimmy done that, I merely stood for the blame unfairly... but, here now, Ogg, this be no time to rehash old differences, I've friends along in need of safe haven for the night.

Who might these friends be?

Screwball you know, and many other of the wee folk. We serve as escort for our grand champion, Jack o' the Green.

That much magic I can offer ye, a small measure of entertainment at best. Making the world a frozen hell is beyond me modest powers.

Then, what's gone wrong? Why did it happen?

If ye want more tricks, I'm your man, but for big questions ye must go elsewhere.

Don't you care about what's happened?

Course we care. What good's the world locked in a season of death. Frozen up, no folks to scare out of their wits on a summer's night; no babies to tickle; no more spells to cast... Think that's an enjoyable prospect?

There must be an answer somewhere.

True... But it won't come easy or free. If ye want to ask, ask Jenny Greenteeth.

Jenny Greenteeth? Who's she?

Don't see why I can't ride, too! I'm second in command, damn it!

The colt's still too small.

I'm small... and I can make myself smaller still... Small as a bee! Small as dust...! Want to see me do it?

We've no time for tricks this day, Honeythorn Gump.

Tricks, is it? Why I'll trick ye! Ungrateful whelp! I'll sour your milk and bird droppings'll fall from the sky wherever ye walk.

Save your mischief for the Black Baron.

Aye! That too.

You'll need more than bird droppings for Blackheart.

I'll drop a cow on the knave!

Drop a mountain on him and we won't need our troops.

This has got to stop!

He escaped. He's going back in.

Does it give you some sort of perverse pleasure to expose your...penis in plain view of my sixteen year-old daughter?

There are no windows facing my...exposure.

George, this is the third time.

The plumber's due out on Friday.

You'll have to explain that to the police.

You were the only neighbor I could tolerate.

I did warn you.

My life is a warning. I just can't figure out for what.

I never said anything. I haven't done anything.

I know what the deal is. Josh is a pimp. I'm not stupid.

You don't know what the deal is. There is no fucking deal.

I've been using since I was twelve! You're all so unbelievably stupid. You didn't give a shit about anything I did until now!

I'll apologize for everything but today...Today I give a shit.

You're too fucking late.

The gloves on the table are for you.

You can't make me do a thing.

Sit down for a second.

No.

Oh, so you're in the big shit now! Child abuse. People go to prison for what you just did to me.

My dad used to play a game. I never really understood what it was until after he was gone.

I was holding for someone. That wasn't even mine.

The game was to make me smaller than he was. No matter what. He could be almost invisible as a human being, but I had to be smaller. So if I got good grades, I was a pussy for not playing football. If I cut my hair for him, it wasn't short enough. If I shaved it, I looked like a psycho. I never won the game. Not once. And if he couldn't make me smaller with words...

When you started first grade and your mom went to work, it was so she could save for an apartment. But then she met Peter and skipped the idea of renting.

He's got nothing to do with me.

I couldn't imagine how I could compete with him for any part of you. So, I didn't. He wanted you to have his last name...I let him even take that.

He was a prick when I was six, and he's a prick today.

Was bankrupt and dead before I was twenty.

Left you this place.

It was in my name so he wouldn't lose it. He stole it from everyone that deserved it by putting me on title.

Do you know what I'd give to have this! Forget how I got it! I can't afford dirt in this town. I live in Riverside, Goddammitt And you get to piss in the ocean.

It's my day off. I thought I'd help with the plumbing.

I need you to do me a favor.

God, you look like crap, George.

I want you to find someone for me.

Why do you let your dog crap on his lawn, day after day?

I don't let him. He just loves to.

Is your back still killing you?

I didn't think you'd come today.

I kept thinking about it, what you said... I hope you were trying to keep me away fro the sake of me.