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why am I so sad?
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I have perfect life. I’m supported, I have friends and I’m not alone. But I feel alone. I feel sad. But I know I’m not. I shouldn’t be atleast. I feel selfish when I feel sad or even consider that I may be depressed or have anxiety. But why?
| 1 |
Reassuring
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Is it okay to reassure or tell someone like that what they’re suffering with isn’t an alien issue? I’m only asking because the stupid r/OCD says like to even tell someone “oh you’re going through something and it’s okay to go through it just understand blah blah blah” they delete it and tell you that’s the incorrect response
| 0 |
Sometimes, when I'm thinking, I talk to myself compulsively, without control. What it can be?
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This bothers me
| 6 |
Question if this is 'a thing' or not?
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Hey y'all! First time posting here, redirect me if this isn't the place by all means!
Please, I know this will sound strange, but I'm hoping there will be no judgement here.
So I, 22x, have suffered from what turned out to be a pretty severe case of SHS (Snapping Hip Syndrome) since I was 15 or so? I never knew what it was, and always just said it was a bad hip. Now, recently, my partner finally convinced me to go see a doctor about it, who told me it was SHS and also just bad genetics (my side of the family basically all suffer from something hip related and both my mother and grandmother had to get some type of surgery to fix it) and that it could likely be fixed with physical therapy or maybe some type of antiviral or something? But that would be worst case scenario. She told me I would probably retain a slight discomfort, but it wouldn't be as bad as it is currently. Currently, if I walk around for too long, I'll eventually start limping and if I overdo it it'll hurt for a few days after.
Now, that's all physical health, but here comes the actual question/concern.
I am afraid to have my hip, or other issues I suffer from, fixed. And I'm certain it's just something in my head, but I don't know what!
I've had the same issue in the past, where I refused medication for my ADHD for a reason I couldn't quite grasp. I just didn't want it. I guess I was worried it would change how I acted or something? That, in a way, makes sense? But now I'm afraid to get this fixed as well.
It's been a burden to me for as long as I could remember. I never wanted to see a doctor about it, even though I'm not afraid of doctors at all. It could've been something serious or severe, but I flat-out refused to get it checked until my therapist and partner pushed on it. I guess I consider it 'part of me'? And I don't want to lose it? Even though I shouldn't want to stay ill, part of me still doesn't want it gone.
On the other hand, I also don't like it when people need to make exceptions for me because of my hip. People see me limping and offer to slow down, I refuse. Offer to carry my bag, I refuse. Hell, if we're on a walk and they offer to go back because they can tell I'm starting to hurt a bit, I still say no. I love taking walks and such, and my hip is actively preventing me from doing so because if I go to far from home without a bike or something, the walk back will be uncomfortable and terribly painful.
Does anybody know if this is a 'thing'? Or why I feel this way about it? Is it caused by an underlying condition? I don't have any neurological conditions except for ADHD (as far as I'm aware) and attachment/abandonments issues from childhood experiences. Help!!
~~English isn't my first language + I'm not much of a Redditor so excuse any typos or unusual formatting & to all profile lurkers who find this post, there is NSFW in my posting history so check at your own risk haha~~
| 1 |
Can therapist be wrong? If so was this one? What do you think?
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Is this therapist wrong or am I?
Back story :
My little sister has been on and off drugs such as meth for about 3 years as far as I know.. she just turned 18 in a rehab she is currently staying in. I am a few years older. As children she always was a a bit chunky.. I witness my family many times telling her she needs to watch her weight.. and watch what she eats as a little girl.. I’m talking around 10 years old.. they did it in a nice way usually but I believe that has some level of affect to a kids body image..
today she called me from the rehab she’s been in for a little over a week, she was sent there from jail because she was ordered by court,, (the reason she went to court was because she overdosed on drugs as a minor and was taken to the hospital by my grandparents) anyway, she called me tonight and she tells me she weighs about 150 right now.. (which is about 30 pounds more than she weighed when she went into jail.. she was thin when she went to jail because she was on meth..) she then tells me when my dad transported her from the jail to rehab he told her she looked better the way she was before and that she was gaining weight again… she continues to express how that bothered her and that she wasn’t eating as much when she got to rehab because of that comment and couldn’t make much sense of why he would say that.. it upset me to hear that I tell her don’t listen and that just because your thin on drugs doesn’t mean you looked better.. obviously any person looks healthier off drugs therefore you look better no matter the size.. she then tells me that that’s a reason she liked meth because it made her thinner.. then she says even tho she was actually really skinny then she still felt like she was fat. And I respond with “you probably have body dysmorphia, I think I do too” the counselor that’s superving our call then butts into our conversation saying “ok not everything has to be a disorder” I completely shut down at that point because it triggered me for many reasons.. one being that comment felt as though I was harming my sister rather than helping her even tho my intentions were pure. All I was doing was trying to make her see that maybe her way of seeing herself was not realistic and if you feel fat that doesn’t mean you are.
Two, saying not everything has to be a disorder makes me assume you think I make EVERYTHING a disorder.. I’ve mentioned one other disorder to my sister that I believe I have and she was already diagnosed with in the past. Which is bpd.. and this was two phone calls ago
Three, this is not the first time she has upset me.. nearly everytume she butts into our conversation she upsets me actually. The first time it happened I was telling my sister I’d send her some clothes bc she needed them. The therapist then explains to me that my sister opens the mail in front of her and to not send any acid “lsd” and then laughs… I’m kinda taken back from this comment, being this is the first time I ever heard her voice and she’s making drugs out to be funny as my sister sits in rehab, I have done acid a few times and i my sister has a few times as well.. I don’t consider acid a drug to be as worried about as meth and the many other things my sister was doing but I don’t think this comment was appropriate given the situation and she also listened to the 15 minute conversation we had before she butted in.. and in that conversation I do nothing but try to be there for my sister and give her advice I’d want someone to give me so why would she approach me as If I’d try to get my sister high while she in rehab, another comment she made a couple phone calls later was after I had just went shopping at 5 below for my sister to get her the clothes, I also picked her up an anxiety journal to help her process her anxiety and some healing crystals that had a little paper inside explaining what the crystals names were and what there uses were. I tell her this and ask her if she can have crystals in there? The therapist says “uhhhh what kinda crystals, crystal meth?” And then her and my sister laugh.. she listened to me explain I went to 5 below and got her some crystals.. was this comment really necessary? She then continues to say she doesn’t know and that either way she can hold them till my sister gets out… which is fine .. she didn’t have to make a jolly joke about meth though.. as if it’s something to take lightly….
Back to the whole point of this post I want to know others opinions on what she said tonight .. “not everything has to be a disorder” after that comment is made I go completely silent.. it becomes very awkward and she continues on to say my sister doesn’t met the criteria for body dysmorphia, my sister then ask “well what’s the criteria?” and then counselor says “I’m not telling you “ her reasoning being something along the lines of my sister would get in her head about it if she did.. she explains she likes to call it body imaging issues and there’s to much stigma around calling it body dysmorphia, she then says they were having a great time 30 minutes prior.. as if I threw off the mood.. the counselor then ask when I’m available to talk tomorrow and I explained I worked the next day and what time to call me was best and then ask about the next day as if that time doesn’t work. My sister has called me nearly everyday about the same time and it has never been an issue until tonight. I believe I could’ve chose better words but I feel like the counselor could’ve handled that much better even if I was wrong for saying that. I would love some other opinions on this.
| 1 |
why does it seem like everyones masks are breaking?
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So a bit info first.
Im 23(m) living in Denmark, i have a weird type of aspergers which basicly means that as a kid i got annoyed with the whole not understanding shit going on around me and in turn became super observant.
Now... since i was around 7-9 i have taken great joy in being able decipher social encounters and basic human mimicry, however these recent 6 years it has been increasingly harder to be around people since i constantly pick up on inconsistencies in their body language which makes it feel like everyone is in a state of something that looks like fear.
its this weird sensation as if every single person i interact with or observe or whatever... has a fear of displaying "bad" emotions and as such choose "the happy face", the very unsettling part is that the whole fright of being seen displaying these "bad" emotions, makes people do stuff they probably dont agree with themselves wether it be going a slower route home to avoid the prospect of running in to people and having to bring out the mask, or hitting someone in order to remove focus...
The point is, i feel so very unsafe around people as it feels as everyone is on their breaking point and have been "faking it till they make it" the last couple years, and shits finally cathing up.
And as such their actions become increasingly unreliable.
​
The main reason for this post is to find out if im weird or other people are experiencing the same phenomenon
| 2 |
How do I manage this situation? (19M)
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So my mom is a single mom(41) referred to from here on out as K. I am on the more fortunate side of the ASD spectrum but have issues socializing.
Lately K has been complaining about me treating her like shit. Thing is, she’s never home and always stays with my grandparents. Whenever she does come home, she just complains about everything and how I don’t do enough. I do the things she asks me to do and I won’t go above and beyond because she treats me like shit.
I also smoke weed to manage my ASD because it helps me level out. I live in a decriminalized state but not legal and every time she finds out she threatens to kick me out or call the police and have me arrested. I’m on track to go to law school. I’m not risking that so I just comply. She also knows I have nowhere to go because she’s so overbearing I don’t have any friends and we live in the middle of nowhere. I’ve tried explaining that it helps me manage my issues but she doesn’t care and the meds the GP gave me just delete my ability to feel anything not physical.
Now when we argue I will say I escalate quickly because I don’t have tolerance for fights, arguing I can do.
But last night she said I was smoking the night before and that she smelled it when she woke up. I didn’t even smoke but lied and said I did because she already decided I was lying anyways and didn’t want the cops tearing up my safe space because she said she was going to call them to search my room. Then she was trying to take my phone (that I pay for but grandmother has financing for it in her name) after a bad argument about the situation and ended up physically assaulting me to try and take it and if I started defending myself I would have probably put her in the hospital. The cops came before and sided with her (no shit). I understand it’s her house, but I expect the same privacies and respects as a normal tenant because I pay my rent. My car is in both of our names and the last time I tried to leave she called the police and they said I couldn’t take the car. Here are more of the specific displayed behaviors:
Every time I come to her and try to open a dialogue she always accuses me of having an exterior motive and just announcing things instead of engaging with the conversation
Won’t accept fault, can’t be wrong about anything
Thinks her perspective and opinion are facts
Has an extreme need for control
Can’t give advice without attacking the person if they choose to not take it
Uses threats and makes fun of/degrades me to force me to do things her way
Can’t accept or respect any of my major decisions unless she directly benefits
Uses my unfortunate situations as leverage to manipulate me into compliance
Enforces that every possession I have in my room belongs to her and says that if I leave she’ll report me for theft/sue me if I leave before she has a tenant
Threatens that if I go to my other family members for help or have problems that I’ll be excommunicated. She also has manipulated my grandparents into hiding their feelings about me from me and they go to her instead of me regarding things about me.
Twists everything I say to make me look more monstrous
Everything is my fault. She can do no wrong.
I also have nowhere to go, I’m trying to find work but I can only stay if it’s a job she approves of but if I leave I lose her much needed support in a multimillion dollar legal battle. I have $200 to my name, my computer is in the shop, I have no car, and no phone.
I’m stuck. I’m scared. Frankly, I’m kinda starting to think I should just go sniff a line of phent, take a DMT trip and just not come back. At least I’d be happy in my final moments. It’s one option but not my first. Any thoughts?
| 1 |
Online psychiastry consultation for diagnosis and prescription
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Hi,
I live in Canada and I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a very long time. I was wondering if anyone knew an **online psychiatrist for diagnosis and prescription in Canada under 18 (17)**. I've googled non stop and can't find anyone to do any of it. It's starting to freak me out because I'm desperate right now.
| 1 |
Mood swings while not around anyone else?
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Prior to lockdown, if there isn't anything stimulating me AND I was alone, but brain would jump to extremely emotional hypotheticals that would jump start my brain
I did not think too much about this, but lately I've been having a rough time and my mom asked me about depression. I know that being bi polar can be a symptom of depression, but I don't know if only having it occur while alone is depression or if that's something else
| 1 |
Feel like, I want to push away my therapist.
| null | 1 |
School
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Im a Junior in hs and my ex gf (recently broke up, dated a year and was my best friend for a year before that) is in 75% of my classes. I also hate school and am probably depressed. I can’t get through the days. I break down crying in the bathroom by 1 PM latest. I cant keep going it’s literally not how it works it’s not how people get over attatchment. Its going to be prolonged for too many months if I have to do this I dont know what to do
| 1 |
can i please get some thoughts about this situation?
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so for a little background info, i am 17 years old currently a senior at high school. ever since i moved to a different state and struggled to fit into this new environment, i’ve always thought about going to therapy since then and getting some help figuring out stuff but i never really looked into it. but that was until recently when i decided that i really do need help and need therapy after some events that i’ll keep private happened. i decided i needed someone to talk to. the only problem is when i did do some research about local therapists near my area, they all have bad ratings and honestly don’t seem too professional. i’ve considered doing online therapy but unfortunately i feel more comfortable doing therapy in a face to face setting you know? i also tried the school therapist and they have only given out generic advice. stuff like “the grass is greener on the other side” while having good intentions i dunno, i just find that it doesn’t help at all. so right now i’m left with no options but the thing is, i am very close to graduating high school and i’ll be moving out meaning i will eventually get more options. so that’s where i want people’s thoughts. would it be better to just go with my options now or wait until i get better and more comfortable options? i know at the end of the day it all depends on me and how i feel whether it’s urgent or not but im curious to hear what other people would do in a situation like this. also thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read this.
| 1 |
i dont know what to do anymore
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I just don't know what to do anymore with my life. im slowly losing all my friends and my sanity. i think Im a genuinely bad person but i just dont know anymore. i cant think normaly and i just dont really feel stuff anymore. and im really just feeling suicidal i just dont know. ive been thinking some time talking to someone about it but i just cant so im posting it here. im also doing bad at school and i might get kicked out from the school. the only things that keep me alive is my parents music and clash of clans. And my parents don't even know about my situation. And I just can't control my thoughts and I have voices in my head. And all of that comes and goes away like panic attacks and I just don't know.
| 1 |
Intrusives and Proposal
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I desperately want to be able to propose to my partner soon. I fear that I will act on an intrusive immediately after doing so. I know this idea is anxiety winning. I know it’s superstitious. But I have OCD, so …
Does anyone (who has been through this) have ideas?
| 1 |
I feel tired existing
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Hi I'm a girl(17) and I feel like life is extremely boring and empty right now
It started about 3 years ago ( a little bit before covid) and it has been getting worse. Before I used to be very active and enegetic but right now I feel so drained and kinda dead inside that I couldn't even bother to do things that I like to do like drawing, reading or even playing video games (bruh, this is the one hobby that requires amost no energy and I'm still too tired to do it)
This feeling is not like being tired from work or schools or whatever, its closer to like.. I dunno like nothing? It feels like being empty or feeling like everything you do is meaningless, like having no purpose in life(???? I guess?) Like not having a molecue of motivation in your life.
This has effected my life in everyway possible, doing work, being productive or doing simple daily tasks etc. (Sometimes.. or oftentimes I feel tired thinking of what I'm going to eat today, and it started to get very tedious) and I'm worried about the future. If this continue, I will probably become a snob lazy good for nothing adult woman and really I dont want that.
Some of the causes of these feelings that I can think of right now are hormones (I have weird menstrual cycle like once every 3 months so it might be hormones????), mental health( A lot happend to me in the past like 3 years or so, so it might be that), or Im just a lazy snob(my hobby now is sleeping and doing nothing, so this might be the case) but I'm not sure what it is and I'm too embarrass to ask for a doctor or therapist because what if they say like "Miss, there's nothing wrong with you, you're just a lazy fuck AND a drama queen." Well no one will say it exactly like that probably something more polite but still having the same points as that. So I would like to hear some of you're opinions, feel free to be as harsh and direct as you can, every little feedback helps, cause I really dont want this behaviour to continue to the future( I still have so many years to live I cant be giving up now)
Thanks for reading my rant.
| 2 |
11 steps to escape the mental storm.
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I’ve been there. Depressed, anxious, and staring at the bottle of pills as I contemplate emptying it into my stomach. And I especially know how it feels to be addicted to the pain. Bringing myself to cut and feel stress because it was addictive. It feels like it will never get better, but truth is, the biggest step is admitting you aren’t okay, and I’m guessing that’s why your here, good job. Now you just need to be determined.
Find what drives you, this is the base of your recovery. Is it for a person? If so, make sure the relationship is stable, otherwise if they leave it will feel like everything has been taken from you.
Become comfortable with your mind and thoughts, with the technology today we never take time to truly think, remove distractions and think.
Now you have become comfortable with your mind, so speak your thoughts, be yourself, if you hate your job, keep it, UNLESS you have a chance for better. The moment the chance comes, TAKE IT.
Analyze your dreams, not that bs “oh my dream told me the future.” Google what the dream meant for example “what does green coral mean in a dream.” Or “what does a dream about a cat mean.” Dreams are your mind trying to communicate important matters and issues.
Find YOUR meaning to life, with all these vast personalities and perspectives, life cannot have one meaning, find yours.
Become open to new ideas, the algorithm online causes us to only see what we want, we don’t see other opinions, and when we do, we shut it down. Open your mind.
Stop judging, it’s stupid, pointless, and annoying.
Learn from your mistakes, analyze your life before, what you did, and how you changed since, that’s how it changed you.
Stop feeling ashamed, those “mistakes.” Were opportunities to learn, don’t feel ashamed from it.
Find the root. What caused your anxiety, likely it was from when you were little, and you repressed it. For example, the root cause of my social anxiety was from a school play, I have no clue what grade I was in, or what it was about, anyways it was solo song, just me, I finished, and everyone else had applause when they finished, I had nothing. I was so embarrassed, before that I was social and extroverted, after, I was anti-social and shy.
Lastly, get out in nature, I know, it sounds stupid, but it really works. We’re born on earth, if we don’t have it, where are we gonna go? Mars? Have fun creating an ozone layer.
| 3 |
Self esteem - support / advice
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So I've recently posted about my issues with self esteem. I’ve been thinking and reading about this and wanted to share some ideas that I think could help anyone struggling with a similar thing.
Low self esteem can be developed for multiple reasons, but is usually caused by a lack of sense of self or independence, this could be due to the relationship with parents, something may have been done to discourage independence, maybe a lack of encouragement, too much criticism, embellishment. Either way the child is prevented from developing a foundation of self esteem. This forces them to rely on others for a sense of self worth, which is a very human response. I think that the most important thing is to recognise how your low self esteem has developed if you have it and to have empathy for yourself.
YOU are inherently worthy, the idea that once you get something or achieve something and then you’ll be worthy or happy is a lie. It’s great to have goals and things to work towards, and if you really want something ofc you can work towards getting it, but you already have everything that you need to be good enough and it’s important to remember that. Accept life for what it is for now, it might not be exactly what you want but if you get too caught up in thinking about what you wish it could be it will keep you trapped in a negative thinking pattern and you deserve to be happy.
I think that the best way to build independence and a sense of self is to, first, stop being so hard on yourself and to see yourself realistically, as a worthy human! You’re allowed to have flaws so don’t put pressure on yourself to get things right all the time, perfection doesn’t exist so it’s crazy to expect yourself to be that and you’ll just keep making yourself feel bad when there’s nothing to feel bad about. Don’t take yourself too seriously, you’re allowed to make mistake, you’re allowed to not be perfect.
This is going to sound weird but I actually feel excited when I realise that I’m doing something wrong, I think that it’s best to see life as a learning experience and embrace your mistakes as something to learn from rather than something shameful. My last post was definitely out of my comfort zone, but, I feel like it’s more damaging to feel like you can’t talk about your hardships and to not perceive yourself as a human who’s allowed to have struggles in life. You are human, so again, don’t be so hard on yourself.
Anyway, In order to develop a sense of self (and this kind of goes hand in hand with the other thing) but try to stop being so self critical, let yourself open your mind to new ideas and perspectives and understanding what you think about them, don’t tell yourself what you “should” think just ask yourself what you do think, don’t limit who you’re “allowed” to be, who do you want to be? What energies you? Try new things, explore new thoughts and ideas and find out! No matter what you do there’s always going to be people who disagree so live life how you want to. Once you found your values it’s a good idea to set goals based on that so you have a sense of purpose and something to work towards.
Lastly forgive, especially forgive yourself, everyone makes mistakes everyones human. When you choose to forgive yourself and others you prevent yourself from being trapped in the past and allow yourself to move forwards and live a good life, I don’t care how much you hate yourself, YOU deserve happiness.
I actually have no idea what I’m talking about btw, I’m far from a professional, so take this all with a grain of salt, pick and choose what’s useful to you if you want. But if you do choose to help yourself, I challenge you to write down some ways that you could take better care of yourself, maybe make a routine idk.
I hope this helps.
| 1 |
I need some advice
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Last night my sister (20), basically told my parents and I that it’s not “if” she commits suicide, but “when”. She wanted to be told my family would be okay if she committed. She is refusing any type of help and gets instantly defensive stating that we “don’t understand” and “ are not listening to her”. I’m not sure what we do at this point she’s been in therapy for a little over a year now. Have you had an experience like this? What should be my next step? She refuses to come home from college and is refusing to do inpatient.
| 3 |
break with my girlfriend.
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hi. i’m 16yo. i am extremely jealous and it was ruining my relationship so i decided to take a break with my girlfriend that i love very much. can someone help me overcome this jealousy
| 3 |
How do therapists deal with BPD clients?
| null | 1 |
I feel anger towards myself to feel a sense of depression.
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Recently I have started to become quite sad most of the time and I understand we all go through these times but I feel like I can’t pull myself out of this whole, I have been in a relationship with my gf for a year now and I try my best to be the best I can be but I find out arguements often lead from me not doing something right and some things I agree with and some I don’t, I am also massively struggling at work as this is my first job and I have been there for about 2 years now. I am living full time with my gf and her whole family, there is many screaming arguements in the house and I feel I get no peace which may be part of the problem but I always look at what other people are going through and get angry at my own self pity, my gran who is like my second mum was diagnose with throat cancer last year which was a real kick in the stomach and I just feel like it’s getting too much for me, what can I do?
| 2 |
I’m confused about my mental health
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A few years ago I was diagnosed with OCD and I am now being followed by a psychologist and a psychiatrist for depression. But anyway I have this doubt that OCD and depression aren't my "only" problems (which are already enough, I know). I'm afraid I also have a personality disorder, I would like to talk to my psychologist about it but I think that any answer he will give me will somehow make me feel bad. He has been seeing me for about 7 months now, so he has an idea about me. I'm afraid of ruining the relationship of trust that has been created.
My doubts derive from the fact that since I was a child I have always felt different from others, almost an alien, wrong. And this has always made relationships very, very difficult. I tend to isolate myself a lot, I have a few friends but I don’t really know how I managed to keep them for so long (I ignored them for weeks sometimes). I'm very, very sensitive, I see criticism even where there really isn't. I don't know who I am, I can't figure out what my interests are, it depends on the moment. I tend to think in black and white, and this is something the psychologist himself pointed out to me. My mood is never stable and even for small things or absolutely nothing I start to have very negative thoughts. I see the world as a place where I can never fit in, full of people who will only walk all over my head because I'm weaker. And many other things.
Now I have this doubt that torments me. If my therapist says that I don’t have a personality disorder, I’m for sure gonna end up thinking that I am really different from others and simply not made to live in this world, so automatically I will think that therapy and my therapist are useless. If, on the other hand, he says yes, it will be a relief. But at the same time it would mean realizing that I was right, that I have something wrong. But in this way I could really understand myself, and start working seriously. For now I have the diagnosis of depression that reflects me but there are also many other things that have nothing to do with that. Do you think it's worth talking to my psychologist about it?
| 1 |
Problems with friends
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I am a 16 year old boy who has been having its ups and downs with friends for the past year. I am part of a big friendship group but I am not good friends with anyone. Through out the year I have realized that they often do not do plans with me. I have also realized that they have a group chat with out me. This has really affected me because I can not focus on my studies.
Its not like I have no friends, I often talk to people in school and I feel confortable around them but when I see that they are creating group chats without me I feel really excluded.
Is it my fault that I think they do not like me?
| 1 |
mental health is fucked
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I'm not feeling mentally good these days, not able to cope up with eco system of job , all my friends went to US , not able to make new friends due to hyper independence and tried making frnds with office colleagues who are trying to hit on me. Should I go to therapy?
| 1 |
I AM 15 AND I WANT TO KNOW IF MY FATHER IS NORMAL ?
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As i said i am 15 and i want to know if my father is normal or not when i was in 2nd grade or 1st i was very weak in maths so my father used to teach me and he always taught me like i am the worst child in the world like he used to slap me and used to beat me alot and one time i didn"t completed my homework of tution so my teacher called my father and he came there and took me in a seperate room and beated the sh1t out of me even the teacher was saying it"s ok he will not do it again and stuff but he didn"t stoped he even broke many of my phones recently i was promoted to class 10th but with bad grades he took everything from me my phone and stuff i always wanted to commit suc12de but coudn"t because i was not having enough balls to do it i always felt like he does"t want me i am hopeless rightnow and can"t focus on my studies and sorry for bad english :)
| 5 |
Ive just had an unfair breakup and now idk what to do.
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The other day my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me over something I thought was trivial. We both relied on each other a lot for our mental health to the point where if not for her I might have tried suicide a year or two ago. Now that that support is been so suddenly cutoff idk how I can carry on.
If you feel like you need more information on the breakup I made a couple posts about it on other subreddits that you can see on my account.
Thank you in advance
| 1 |
Dentist Anxiety
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I (18 M) have been really depressed recently and have suffered from anxiety since an extremely young age.
My back teeth are really bad (i'm basically missing 3/4 of one of them) due to my bad hygiene, habits and diet from being so low but I do need to go to the dentist, it's been easy to put it off since i've not had any pain etc. However Im extremely anxious to the point of near attacks because of this, I don't want them to judge or lecture me because i understand that they're really bad and it's my fault that they've gotten to this point, im also obviously nervous about the pain or potential pain.
Does anyone have any recommendations for what to do like obviously i need to go to the dentist but like is there a way where i can relax more about it and maybe even get them to understand before i go about my situation so they can be like a little nicer lol.
| 2 |
Wasn't able to sleep.
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Hello, my name is Ash. I will not reveal my full name as I feel it will be used against me. I wasn't able to sleep last night. I don't want to go back there. I don't.
| 1 |
What should my next course of action be after telling my bf’s sister that we won’t take her dogs if she commits suicide?
| null | 2 |
high school
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I feel like every day of high school just becomes more and more stressful. When I have too much work, I get stressed and feel like I am getting overloaded with work. When I don't have enough work and I ergo am not as productive, I get stressed from the fact that I feel like I could be doing something productive with my life. And, in the competitive high school I go to, I feel like I am not achieving the same progress others do, making me jealous of them. I need to figure out how to get rid of this jealousy, as I feel it is taking a toll on my mental health. I know it sounds arrogant and selfish, but I really don't know why I get so sick when I see others succeed. Its not that I am mad at them for succeeding, rather I look at myself and just wonder what I am doing wrong. I feel like I am an extremely hard worker, but sometimes it just feels like my work has never payed off.
| 5 |
At the age of 51, I still feel haunted!
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At the age of 51, I still feel haunted by a year when I was just five years old. My mother's boyfriend raped and beat her during that time, leaving her hospitalized for weeks. Meanwhile, he looked after me and enjoyed exerting control over me. I was forced to stand outside on the balcony in my underwear in the cold while he had his fun in the evenings. He held me under the water in the bathtub until I couldn't breathe, and he would shower in my face when he washed me. He would also pinch my genitals, spank me several times daily, and cause me immense pain.
Later, my mother met another man who wasn't violent, but still very dominant. Despite being creative and having a reputation for being happy and approachable, I've always felt that something was wrong with me. I've always felt like people shouldn't trust me like I'm not who I claim to be. I've never been violent or abusive, and my children and family see me as kind and gentle. But despite this, I still feel scared and uncertain. I worry that I might be a monster, and I often find myself empathizing with the villains in movies and books.
Even though I know where the man who abused me as a child still lives, I can't bring myself to confront him. I always tell myself that other people have had it worse than me and that I just need to toughen up and move on. But that one terrible year has left me unable to speak up about the abuse I endured at the hands of my athletics coach when I was 13-15. I don't feel like I have the right to complain, since I willingly participated in the abuse - or at least, that's what I was told.
My whole life has been spent waiting for the day when I can finally die and be at peace. I just hope that, wherever I end up, I'll finally be accepted for who I am.
| 2 |
(NSFW) Am I normal in my feelings?
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I would like to start off by saying this is my first post in years and I don’t know how tags work. I put NSFW just incase suicide falls under that, but other then that there is no nsfw
I 18 F feel abnormal in this aspect. I am not suicidal and yet I don’t want to be here. I have no motivation or reason to go to the next day but I also have no motivation or reason to die. Thinking about life and death it’s all just a grey blur I couldn’t care less. Don’t get me wrong I want to care. I’ve talked to people and all they say is different. I get numb sometimes and even considered the thought every now and then. But when it came down to truly thinking of it, I didn’t care, I was not suddenly happier or anything I just was meh to the idea. I just want to know if I’m alone In this?
| 1 |
I need help but there's no one to help me
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I've been in therapy for 2 years bit we've come to a stand still. My therapist practices insight based therapy and I've reached a point where I have more than a good share of insight about my life and even of those around me. But we never discuss diagnosis and solutions. And that's what I want.
I'm considering switching therapists. I'm going to look for someone who can practise CBT. At the same time, I wish there was something I could do actively for my own mental health.
I've been racked with insomnia again lately. And the flashbacks are back. I had cPTSD and I thought I had overcome it.
My family is unsupportive. They're actually a big part of why I need therapy in the first place. Them and my ex.
I'm single and I hate burdening my friends with this and coming across as the girl who is always whining or sad. But I feel like my life is so much tougher than theirs. And my family is toxic. There is no concept of peace at home. I just gave my finals which had me stressed for the last year and now I'm back home chilling. But there is very little chilling and a lot of stress again. Last night I broke down crying because man, I wish I had a place where I would find peace.
Any and all advice is welcome.
| 2 |
Why does this happen to me? I just want to have a good night
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For the past 2 weeks these things have stayed in my head and I can’t seem to get them out. Every single time I’m alone in my thoughts I just feel so lonely. It seems to happen the most at night. It really effects my sleep because I literally can’t sleep because it keeps me awake. I just want to stop these thoughts and I want a quality life
| 2 |
Channel for metal healing
|
Our channel is dedicated to helping you heal your mind, body, and spirit! Our mission is to provide inspiring words of affirmation, motivating messages, and empowering wisdom to help you live a happier, more joyful life.
We are dedicated to helping you cultivate a positive mindset, overcome challenges, and achieve your goals. By filling your mind with positive and uplifting messages, you can transform your life and achieve greater happiness and success.
Our community is built around the belief that everyone deserves to live a life filled with joy, purpose, and abundance. So whether you're looking to boost your self-esteem, find the motivation to achieve your dreams, or cultivate a more positive outlook on life, we invite you to join us on this journey of healing and transformation.
Subscribe to our channel and start your journey towards a happier, more fulfilling life today!
[ra epigrams](https://www.youtube.com/@raepigrams)
| 1 |
Youtube Channel to help you heal
|
https://youtube.com/@raepigrams
Our channel is dedicated to helping you heal your mind, body, and spirit! Our mission is to provide inspiring words of affirmation, motivating messages, and empowering wisdom to help you live a happier, more joyful life.
We are dedicated to helping you cultivate a positive mindset, overcome challenges, and achieve your goals. By filling your mind with positive and uplifting messages, you can transform your life and achieve greater happiness and success.
Our community is built around the belief that everyone deserves to live a life filled with joy, purpose, and abundance. So whether you're looking to boost your self-esteem, find the motivation to achieve your dreams, or cultivate a more positive outlook on life, we invite you to join us on this journey of healing and transformation.
Subscribe to our channel and start your journey towards a happier, more fulfilling life today!
| 1 |
I just want someone to talk to…
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Have not been back on here for a really long time. But I really need someone to talk to just for the comfort that there is someone around me. I don’t have anyone I can talk to and I’ve bottled my emotions up to the point where I can no longer handle them anymore. I’m just so tired of going through every day having to fake my feelings and perform all my daily tasks like some sort of obligation. It’s exhausting and I just want to rewind my life back by a few years before everything turned to shit. I’m just so tired of everything and I want to log off from reality.
| 6 |
I hate myself for being like this
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I can't do anything properly. I am tired of everything. I wish I could just d¡€ but I am scared to do that also. I am lonely af to make things worse
| 2 |
how do you get help safely?
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I think I need help I've been struggling with a lot of things and I'm pretty sure if not medication I need therapy but I'm scared and confused on how to get it. As I'm still a minor and am not allowed to go to therapy without my parents permission and they don't think there is anything wrong with me they just see me as lazy. Are there any options where I get help without my parents? And where do I start? What do I look for? Even if I did have my parents support how do I proceed? Ah I'm so confused thank you before hand for any advice!
| 1 |
I don’t think I should do this anymore
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I(16m) have had suicidal thoughts recently and I don’t think I should live anymore, I do good in school, I keep to myself, I don’t smoke or drink, I just have past trauma that comes back every now and then. These thoughts feel strange to me, but they also feel like a gateway to escape from my miserable life, my parents aren’t in my life (still alive) and I live with my grandparents, I’ve thought about doing it but then I think about how that would feel if I just wasn’t with them anymore. I don’t know what to do anymore, the person who I thought liked me rejected me and I thought I was fine but I feel terrible, I feel like a failure to all my friends. My life is a fucking joke.
| 1 |
Paying for good GPA with suicidal ideation
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TLDR: How do I stop worrying about getting As in university? I'm having suicidal thoughts and I feel like something really bad is going to happen if I don't slow down, but I'm not even entirely convinced I should slow down.
Don't get me wrong: I'm not going to kill myself. I just have regular intrusive thoughts about wanting to kill myself.
Sometimes I'll come across something inconvenient or triggering and the first thought that pops into my head is "I want to kill myself." It is worth noting that my grade lowering is more distressing to me than my suicidal ideation because I know I'm not going to kill myself.
I just can't get over this fear of not getting As, all my life I've been conditioned into believing that anything less than an A means doors permanently close. But I'm not even aiming for grad school, I don't know why I'm freaking out over doors I was never even going to open.
It's at the point where I'm destroying my body to study. I don't eat or sleep right, I'm always weak and frequently on the verge of dizzy spells. I'm scared I'm going to develop a chronic illness because my body is failing me. For some reason though, I still feel compelled to get As even if it means I start falling apart.
| 1 |
How to be more guarded
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I keep getting hurt in dating and the advice I get from every single person is that I bond too quickly with people. I don’t have enough walls and guards up and I connect too quickly and deeply with people and it’s detrimental. I was recently extremely hurt by someone and even though I barely knew them/met them once, their words cut me because I let them in. I want emotional resilience and also just to learn not to bond with people too quick, especially when dating.
| 1 |
I don't know if I have anxiety issues
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Hi. I had a mental meltdown around last year (got help) and I think I may have anxiety issues but I'm not really sure.
So within the past month I just started breathing heavily, really stressed out for no reason. It was really hard to distract myself and I just wanted to cry for no reason. This has only happened to me once.
Other things are just issues sleeping, which isn't anything new because I have a very active mind. But sometimes I start thinking about death. "What's gonna happen to my loved ones, to me etc?" I feel like I'm freaking out. I have to take sleeping medicine and distract myself with watching YouTube to sleep sometimes.
With anyone with anxiety issues please tell me if you've had similar experiences?
| 1 |
I just had a horrible relapse.
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Someone talk to me please I need help IM scared
| 1 |
happy birthday
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Happy 20th birthday to me.
Im alone.
I lost all my friends last month after finding out they were talking shit behind my back and making fun of my recent traumatic experience.
My boyfriend nearly dumped me yesterday but decided we just need a break to heal after what we went through.
Im suffering horrible side effects from birth control for over a month.
My mother would have me locked up against my will again if i try to talk about my feelings.
The therapist i tried talking to was so uncaring.
I nearly killed myself yesterday.
I desperately need a hug and someone to tell me everything is okay.
Happy 20th birthday to me.
| 11 |
Heart Broken
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Hi, so was dating this one girl for about 7 1/2 months. We’re currently in high school and she went on a trip to New Orleans with her school band. During this trip she had met a guy (Also from her school) they started talking much more and more, to the point where they were hanging out everyday. Soon after she came back from New Orleans, we hung out 2 or 3 times after she had come back. The next weekend I had gone camping with a group of friends, however, when I called her the day I got back I knew something was off with her, so of course i had to ask if she was ok and everything, then, she got straight into it and broke up with me. We ended up having a 40 minute conversation about everything while this was unfolding. It has now been a week later, she is still hanging out with this guys and is still talking to me. I am currently on the edge of suicide as she i feel that she is constantly trying to hurt me. I don’t want to move on as our relationship was the best time of my life and I had never been happier. Anyways I have no idea what to do anymore and I am horribly depressed due to all of this. Of course this is written by me and I really don’t want to hurt her, but If anyone understands this please try to help me out.
-Me
| 2 |
Connect for a better today
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https://lifeislovedotin.com/about-2/
| 1 |
What was your turning point in life?
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I am at an all time low. Heavily contemplating suicide for months and the feeling doesn’t go away. I’ve been trying to just make it through hour by hour for weeks on end. Nothing seems worth it.
To those who were suicidal at some point in your lives, what was your turning point? What made your realize that life was worth living and that you’d rather stay on this earth?
| 1 |
31 yo with bipolar 1
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Hi I was diagnosed with Bipolar one in 2015 after an awful teenage and early twenties experience. I was taking Latuda and things were great I was stable and able to enjoy life. my insurance said it was too expensive so I had a year of being stable. I had some wild experiences and I had to deal with sudden deaths. I always became overworked at this time and basically ruined my life by drinking away to numb the situation and pissed alot of people off. I eventually spoke to my psych and started taking different meds but I work a 40+ hour job including my commute and supporting myself and my mother who isn't well from afar. so I need to actually be able to function. Im on Lamictal and trazadone to sleep but it barely works. Im currently waking up calling myself a loser. I understand that we all are fighting our battles but Im not sure what to do. I have a dead end job with decent benefits but Im not a fan of it cat this point. I also feel like an outcast and people look at me weird because of my race and stature. ca. someone maybe give me so advice because im not sure how "resilient" I can be at this point
| 1 |
My insecurities are dictating my life and I want to die
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My entire life I’ve seen myself as ugly, im decently well put together, i try to make sure I smell good everyday. I have clear skin and I have no actual facial deformities, nor am I overweight or unfit. Im just ugly, i don’t know if it’s just the structure of my face but every time I see my face in the mirror I want to kill myself. I’ve had problems being suicidal in the past but i’ve never actually gone through with it. My insecurities are getting a lot worse now, im starting to cry when I look in the mirror and I keep imagining everyone is laughing at me. I hate my side profile the most, I look like a stupid fish. I’ve never had a girl friend or even have anyone tell me I look good. I tried talking to my friend about this but he just responded with a particularly bad photo of myself, obviously not understanding that I was being serious. Neither did he take my admittance to being suicidal seriously, he simply said “do it pussy”. I can’t talk to anyone and therapy is simply not an option. I don’t know how to live with myself and if anyone could please tell me or just help me with going through this.
| 1 |
No hope treatment resistant depression
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I have gone through some trauma and abusive relationships I was told I have anxiety ptsd and depression. When I was a child I was diagnosed with anxiety and was on meds so that wasn’t new. Ever since the events that led me to this it has been extremely hard to hold a job. I’ve tried 8+ depression medications I’ve tried mood stabilizers some doctors tell me I have bipolar but I don’t get manic just always depressed low energy irritable. When I do have the energy I feel glued to my bed or wherever I am. I’ve lost jobs I’ve quit jobs I’ve taken leave of absence trying to get it worked out. I’m not lazy I literally get this wave of awful feeling when I try to make myself get up and go to work. It’s a part of life I have to do it does anyone have any helpful info or guidance with something to tell my dr because I feel I don’t explain it well enough. Thank you in advance
| 1 |
Good morning habits I can apply to my routine?
| null | 2 |
i wish my mom understands im burnt out
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In my second semester of sophomore year, things went down a spiral and my grades dropped. I had multiple missing assignments and lost some friends. I failed my class and had to do summer school. When my junior year started, I was so scared of failing because I didn't want to disappoint my mother as I did last year. I tried my best to keep up but I just don't feel motivated to do anything. Even the things I used to be interested in. I hate being in school and having demands I need to do. What is the point of going to school to sit in chairs and do nothing?
| 1 |
I need help I am 16 I go to the gym everyday everyday the voices in my head are getting worst but I'm not afraid to talk to girls I really want to I have had a lot of great times and chances I could have but when ever I eve think about it the voices in my head like fucks things up reminding me
| null | 1 |
I'm certain that anxiety is going to make me end my life soon
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It's never been this bad. I've had problems with social anxiety for quite a while now, I'd say it's dating back to late 2019
I just don't know where to start or how to put this post together and make it understandable. It's been so bad today I woke up at 2am now after falling asleep crying and sad because of what happened today and i can't stop thinking about it. It's so bad to a point I feel like I'm chocking. I'm sorry for anyone having a hard time understating this but it's the best I can do while being heavily under the effect of anxiety
I've always hesitated. Always played it safe by turning down any hangout invites I got. I've missed a bunch of opportunities which, if taken wouldn't have lead to me feeling "old" and like it's too late for me to ever become a happy person again at the age of only 19. It's all because of this. It's been ruining my life for years now and I don't see a way out. I just want to end it all. I am not strong enough to live with this and with this. I don't wanna lead a "life" which is being controlled by anxiety.
This became way more apparent after I, a 19 year old guy who just finished high school got a first full time job and its honestly been way harder since. School was easy, it was easy being around people with my age, my mentality, my maturity. Here, although 99% are at LEAST 4-5 years older than me, I think it shouldn't be this bad.
There are no rules. I could wake up and feel so good, like I could conquer the whole world and do anything I never could've. And yet after that burst of will to live and leave this behind me, my mood will plummet so hard that I forget how to be a human again. Talking to people becomes impossible. My mind feels extremely foggy and I literally become a caveman
99% of the time, the reasons of me suddenly becoing anxious are as follows:
Talking to someone who is just as smart as me/smarter than me and not much older (makes me feel like I'm lagging behind)
Watching a group of people I talk with have fun without me, mentioning me because they want me to become a part of a convo
Not having an adequate opinion or having an opinion at all to something I wanna be a part of (previously stated ^^^) (or a totally random post I really wanna express my opinion on but can't think of one)
Not having an adequate answer/not thinking of something better and regretting it later or having none at all
There are probably many more reasons for this happening, but those are possible to get around easily. And you know what? Next to anxiety, I think I have a little of everything. I had a big struggle with OCD last summer, and probably still do but my mind is preoccupied with this, depression with lack of motivation, anhedonia, anger issues, sometimes, suicidal thoughts when I'm pressed by something mentioned above and I noticed that I'm being toxic and generally hate on a bunch of things.
Honestly? Talking about all this and mentioning how many things I can feel or even feel at once really makes me think that there is no chance for me being happy yet again. I just wanna know how life feels like when you're not controlled by your corrupted mind and can actually reach your full potential. Or end it if I don't find out soon enough.
| 1 |
Depression or laziness?
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Since October I’ve had one of the worst mental health slips of my life. I’m only 20 year old, but I can’t ever remember feeling this miserable. I started this account so I could have somewhere to rant because I feel like those around me are getting tired of hearing. And maybe this is a good place to get some advice. It started with a complete loss of motivation. I used to love weightlifting, working part time and was doing amazing in school. I had moments where I may have felt worn out or maybe a little sad but it hasn’t taken over my life the way it has now. Towards the end of last semester, I almost completely stopped working out and also (unintentionally) lost some weight from not eating. My anxiety had gotten so bad to the point where I would feel physically ill and completely lost my appetite. I was miserable. Over winter break, I tried to relax as much as I possibly could. I was barely working out, still not eating much and was constantly sleeping. I felt so beyond burnt-out, but I felt like I had no reason to be. Since then, I’ve started taking Lexapro. It helped at first and it helped me get my appetite back which is always something to be grateful for. However, now I feel possibly worse than I was before. I can’t get anything done. I’ve even dropped a course this semester and somehow keep having to leave work early because I have a breakdown. I have no clue what’s going on with me. I’ve been eating normally, sleeping normally. I’ve been taking my meds and in therapy every week, yet I feel myself getting worse. Has anybody ever felt like this before? If so, how did you help it? Does this feeling ever go away?
| 1 |
What’s going on with me?
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I’ve been this way for several weeks not and can’t figure out what’s going on. I’ve been feeling emotionally numb, want to sleep all the time (I work 3rd shift 5 days a week), and shower once a week. I am on a Antiseizure and antidepressant. Am I just in a major depressive funk or what?
| 1 |
Idk how to "be myself" around other people
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I've been talking to this girl and I really like her. We have a date in a few days but I just can't express my feelings to her at all. Every time I ask someone how I can cultivate a good reason between us they say "just be yourself bro" but I just don't know how to. The only people who I've really been myself around are my closest friends but even then I sorta reserve the real shit. I've been told all my life to hide my feelings and now people are telling me to express them. What can I do to learn how to "be myself around people who I'm not super close with"
| 1 |
Need help for my adult child
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So my 19 year old daughter just had a paranoid/psychotic episode for the first time. I called the police who then asked if she wanted to harm.herself, she said yes, so they took her to the hospital. Since she has been in there they refuse to tell me any information. They also discharged her at one point without telling anyone and she was found roaming the street. They took her back and I have gotten zero information about her condition. My daughter called me to tell me she was being transferred but the phone cut out before I could hear where she was being taken. If I call to ask they tell me they can't give me.that information because of her age. Someone please tell me what I can do. I'm so broken and lost not knowing if she's ok. She would never go this long without talking to me ever, so I know she's not ok. What can I do?
| 1 |
I think there’s something wrong with me
|
I think there’s something wrong with me
For years everyone I’ve been around says that I just have anger issues but I’m wondering if there’s something else behind it. I have mood swings that range from happy for a few minutes to really annoyed, angry or upset the next.There are a lot more things… I worry constantly and can’t stop, I put myself down for a few days then I’m ok with myself, I get really annoyed really easily, I get paranoid when I’m in public sometimes, and I have some really depressing thoughts almost all the time.
I have absolutely no idea what’s wrong. Does anyone know what might be wrong?
| 1 |
Why do I feel happy then all of a sudden want to die?
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Title is explanatory. I don’t know why this is happening, but it’s like a subconscious thing.
| 1 |
Excitement is dangerous
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Lately ive been in a good mood, but this has always meant a bad thing for me, whenever i get too close to someone and i start enjoying their company i lose essentially all of my individuality and any second im not talking to them my life is soul crushingly pointless, im aware of it now but two years ago this happened and i lost a lot of friends because of how irritable and tunnel visioned i was, its not the healthiest method i know but ive been convincing myself i hate my friends and family since the last time this happened, it didnt work with one person though, is there any other way i can avoid this obsession? Im kind of desperate as im in my final term of college and dont want to ruin my grades
| 1 |
I cry myself to sleep every night.
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It is what it is.
| 2 |
Hesitant to utilize a mental health service
|
My employer offers free access (in some way, not sure exactly what all is included) to BetterHelp but I'm hesitant to use it.
I don't feel like I'm clinically depressed or anything but I'm not in a great place right now and think it might help me. I'm both worried about things being released to my employer if I do use this, either just the fact I use it or even deeper information, on top of the typical male "I don't need help." stereotype.
Am I worried about nothing? Should I just do it?
| 1 |
I’ve lost my ability to cry
|
I can’t cry now. Even if I wanted to. Sometimes in the past when I felt even a single tear edging out I used to slap myself repeatedly to get a hold of myself. I’ve associated great shame with crying in the past.
I don’t hold that kind of empathy for myself to allow myself to cry. Now gradually, the only time my eyes even tear up a little is when I’m at seriously contemplating about killing myself in a suicidal crisis while talking to a crisis line. Other than that, I can’t cry. At all. Sometimes I’ve tried to make myself cry yet it was to no avail. I associate crying with weakness. DAE deal with such an issue?
| 3 |
I can't be the only one who always supports but never receives back?
|
Hey all!
So I have severe depression due to loneliness and basically life going too fast I guess.
I have my whole 32 years almost, reached out to friends, family and even random people online thay I've seen struggling.
I cannot be the only one who has no one who reaches out to them when you really need someone?
I remember posting in my Instagram story a really dark messaging just pouring my heart out... One person who I barely talk to just messaged saying thanks for sharing your story with us and hope you get things sorted, which I appreciated.
But "friends", I've reached out to them all the time but I never get anything back and this makes my depression worse.
I have had seriously strong suicidal thoughts before and recently but thankfully due to belief in God, I'd never do it.
I just wanted to ask if anyone struggles with the same of always helping but never getting anything back?
| 9 |
How to be a person
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Why am I so bad at being a person!? It feels like I’m constantly in one of those games where you pick something to say next and I’m always picking the wrong thing to say or do. Everybody around me seems so normal and every interaction flows easily for them and then there’s me…. Choosing option A,B,C or D 💀 why am I like this!? I don’t think I’m a bad person morally, I’m friendly etc I just don’t know how to be a person properly ig. WHY!? Wtf is wrong with me.
| 3 |
Whelp, they’re all gone now
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All my friends are dead. There were 11 of us. We would write poetry and short stories together over discord. Now, they are all either dead or gone. I have nobody to live for anymore. If you disagree, then go ahead and just look at my other posts. That should give you a good idea of all the other shit I’ve been dealing with. If anyone wants to argue about how I have a reason to live; than please feel free to message me. I don’t think I have a reason to live, but if you can come up with one, than feel free tell me.
| 2 |
i really need some people to talk to.
|
hi everyone, i hope this is the right place to put something like this.
i have had a rough time throughout my life & as a result, people i’ve known for a considerable amount of time are becoming tired of my mental health issues. today i reached out to quite a few people to say i wasn’t feeling good & i was scared i would do something silly & hardly anyone reached out to me. fortunately my mother has been in touch throughout the day but my friends… have not.
i just need some people to speak to & offload. i’m not sure how much longer i can do this all. i’m tired & want it to end.
thank you in advance.
| 4 |
Mental health help without insurance
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I’ve been going to the same doctor for years and just paying out of pocket. But due to my line of work. Half the time I’m out of town. Sometimes go months without work and can’t always afford it. I don’t have someone that can pay for it. I also have bills to be paid first. Rent phone electricity child support etc. does anyone know of a way to get help to pay for doctors visits or meds. I get tired of having to go through withdrawals and then I go without sleeping medicine and go days or even up to a week without sleep. It becomes miserable. Really messes with my mental state Any ideas? I change jobs so much that insurance isn’t something I usually get I’m a contract welder so that’s why I work for so many different companies. I seriously hate our damn healthcare policy in the US. Makes me want to move countries.
| 4 |
I (20f) got referred to an evening treatment program that requires parent involvement. My family is highly disfunctional and I don’t know if doing the program is worth it.
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I’m not entirely sure if this is the best place to post this. Anyways, I was recently referred to an intensive evening-treatment program. I was originally very excited about this program. I want to work through my trauma, learn to better manage my emotions, have healthy relationships and be more functional in my work and school environments. The program has a lot of requirements and does extensive screening to chose participants. Upon being accepted into the program I was told that interviews with family members are a program requirement. I don’t have a great relationship with my family. I’ve had limited contact with my mentally I’ll biological father, my mother is an alcoholic, and my adoptive father is a mentally ill ex-addict. My therapist and I have been working on developing healthy boundaries with my family. My therapist did vouch for me, but the people from the program are still saying that they require interviews via zoom with my mom, my bio dad, my adoptive dad and her current partner. I’m a legal adult, so I don’t really understand the necessity of these interviews. I tried to explain that my biological father has me blocked and they still said that I need to request for him to be interviewed. The guy literally beat my mother and killed several of her pets. I feel like it’s essential to my healing to not have him at all involved in the process. I love my mom, but she can be really manipulative. I’m terrified of putting her in a position of power over me. I’m very private about my mental illness and I don’t want my trauma to be used against me or shared with others without my consent. I have a very close relationship with my adoptive father, but we were separated for most of my teens and I’m not really in a place where I’m ready to open up to him about my trauma or mental illness.
My question is, is it worth doing the program? I’ve been on the wait list for a while now and this is a program that could really help me. I’m afraid of not doing the program and regretting it. At the same time I feel sick to my stomach at the thought of my family being interviewed. Any advice would be really appreciated.
| 3 |
I am struggling to sort things on with Lifestance and I have them, what's better alternative
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I hate Lifestance Health. I was referred by my primary care network to a list of tele providers which included Lifestance. My psychiatrist is decent but no way is $270 for 30 min session for which he doubles bill also for "psychotherapy" is worth it in my option. Since forceful switch to HDHP (I live in America) after I switched employer I have had to pay around this amount for each session. From October to February I got billed almost $1400 and Lifestance delayed billing me and once they billed me this monstrous high bill all at once, they sit quiet and fail to address my question about additional billing or payment plan. I need to refill my bupropion prescription but this whole thing makes me want to quit nearly useless online sessions with my psychiatrist. I hope to find a reasonable one that would charge close to half for outbpocket and require only every 2-3 months instead every month since I am stable and set aside savings doe actual individual 1:1 therapy sessions with licensed therapists or psychologists.
this whole bullshit only reversed some any progress I made on managing my anxiety because now I have to clean up bullshit bill while I am trying to make my ends meet and pay for other medical care.
| 3 |
Finding Purpose
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I'll try to be concise here.
Just turned 44 a few months back. Battled depression, among other things, since my teenage years.
But over the last year or two, I've lost any motivation to, well, anything, really.
I can't advance at work, due to an unclean background (always good to know 8 years of busting my ass is utterly meaningless) Not sure where I could even look for a different line of work, due to the same issue. Add in constant back pain, that narrows any potential field even more.
I just don't enjoy much, beyond raising my foster kitties.
I think a lot of that started pre-pandemic, but got exacerbated because of it.
I hate forcing myself to do things I have enjoyed, as it seems to backfire most often, then counts against doing them in the future.
I'm really stuck, and can't see out.
| 2 |
Has anyone tried Lamictal or currently on it? How long does it take to work?
|
So my psychiatrist put me on this after a bipolar diagnosis and he started me on 25 mg and to go up to 200 mg eventually. I'm on the 200 mg but I feel miserable, how long will it take for these to work?
| 1 |
How to lessen birthday depression?
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Every year since about my 15th I just have come to hate my own birthday. I am absolutely swamped with anxiety, feeling like a failure, and crippling depression for lack of a more fitting term haha.
My constant perfectionism and need to feel like I’m “on track” and meeting my high standards leaves me always feeling like a joke..
Leaving the past behind for a future that seems far more bleak as I lose any positive connections and outlooks is terrifying.
Cherry on top, I never feel like I can accept any attention to my self because of it.
Now I’m turning 21.. the pressure is real, people.
To anyone else who has experienced this, any suggestions to make my day tomorrow suck a little less?
| 12 |
Business should provide mental health days.
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Every business should be providing at least 2 days per year as mental health days, especially in businesses where your employees are dealing with the public face to face. The amount of crap we have to deal with, especially nowadays where people find it appropriate to treat those in customer service like we don't matter is ridiculous. I am a covid screener at a LTCH and I am now dealing with extreme anxiety & depression. It's not as simple as finding a new job, or breathing through the anxiety attacks. These days should be mandatory so we can have that extra day to breath and recoup sometimes so we don't get to a point of having to take a medical leave for stress, or having to be medicated, or worse.
My 2 cents. Mental health is so important, and if we aren't doing well mentally, then everything suffers.
| 27 |
Always dance before sleep
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put some favourite music and just dance it helps me a lot when I’m not okey
take care
| 4 |
Who wants a 15 minute free astro-therapy-counselling reading on zoom?
| null | 0 |
I can't shower
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For the last two years anytime my mental health tanks, I can't shower. I use to be able to take baths but now i can't even do that. I worked really hard this summer to try to heal myself from past events and now, due to a new event dropping in, I'm back at square one. Therapy isn't something I can do because I can't afford it. The only way I can really shower is with my partner(which is hard because they work days and I work nights) or if I bully myself into it and most often I can't do that. My brain is fully convinced that I'm not allowed to shower because I don't deserve and if I do something I don't deserve then I'll be punished for it.
I feel very alone in this as the people around me don't struggle in that way at all and its consider gross and nasty to just not shower. I use dry shampoo and try to clean my face everyday but does any one else go through this and how do you stay clean when you're unable to shower for day at a time?
| 7 |
Anyone possibly want to join a discord server for venting, getting advice and support?
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It’s a safe space and i feel like a lot of people could use it
| 5 |
I feel extremely isolated, extremely alone and its all really weird.
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I am an extrovert, I have no trouble hanging out with people, making friends, etc. I can make people laugh people do call me funny it's just not satisfying me. I feel a connection, but it's not the one I want its not idk how to describe it's not genuine. I have no problem with making friends, but I also have no problem losing friends. I just belong to any group, any type. I feel like there's just no place for me. I have a girlfriend who says she's happy with me, but I feel like am a burden. You know not the right person for her. I don't feel like the right person for anyone honestly. Whether it is boyfriend, friend, brother or son. I just feel like a constant nomad, I like to move places, and move a lot. I just seem normal but deep down i feel constant loneliness. Like am missing something, to belong somewhere like this place isnt for me, sometimes like this body isnt mine. Its just soo weird and these thoughts storm into my brain often at social activities, before my mood was affected by this but not anymore i have learned how to control it. I just dont know what it is, what's my problem. Its like am nit-picking my happiness? Is this self-destructive behavior. Frankly, I don't really know who I am or what makes myself. Sometimes I wonder do things I do make me happy. Or what genuinely makes me happy.I dont know who am I , and i have always had problem with my thoughts as child i would describe them as racing in my head as kid. Its just so confusing too many emotion to process and i experience them nearly everyday at random moments. These bursts. And i am losing my thoughts while writing this so i will just stop bs-ing.I know this makes no point i just dont know how to express it better.
| 2 |
Can anyone help me with a quick suicide method?
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Everything I try doesn't work.
I've tried painkillers, sleeping pills, hanging and all have failed. I crashed my car deliberately (and got banned from driving), and last night tried to jump off the Humber Bridge but was found and brought home by the cops.
The sleeping pills I then took last night just made me sleep till 4pm, and now I'm groggy.
I can't do this anymore. Have you tried not eating for over a week? The pain, the fatigue, the shame?
The local food bank won't help anymore as I'm above my six month quota, rural and can't travel, can't work. I have no friends, no family, no money, nothing.
Hell I don't even have any gas or electric anymore as it went off days ago on the metre.
I'm pathetic, worthless and a burden. I don't deserve to live.
So look. I want to make this clear. I don't want help here... So please don't offer it...
I want a clean suicide method. It can be painful, idc, I deserve to die in pain anyway. It just needs to be effective, and quick enough that they won't get to me first this time.
And thank you for anyone that helps.
| 16 |
are these kinds of masochistic cravings some weird kind of self harm? help, please
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having a kind of mental breakdown, i rarely feel violent towards people but i often feel so pent up and i crave a lot of pain. i end up hitting myself, punching myself hard, etc. used to struggle with self harm in the form of cutting but not so much anymore. what i really crave is for someone to beat the shit out of me, i don’t know if i feel like i deserve it or if i really just wanna feel something but it’s a confusing feeling i get often. i don’t want to fight or try to fight back, i just wanna be defenseless and be beaten to tears. it’s kind of fucked and has invaded my sex life as well. let my last relationship get REALLY physically abusive. broken up now, but i miss it. what the fuck is wrong with me. i don’t really feel anything right now, but a little unstable
| 2 |
my boyfriend’s mental health is so bad. doctors and therapists turn him away. we don’t know what to do. what should we do? what do we do?
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my boyfriend (19M) got covid at the end of last year, and ever since then he can’t drive, can’t even leave his house without having a panic attack. i’m scared i’m going to lose him. he called his doctor multiple times and for almost two months there was no response. he slowly got better, and was slowly able to leave the house, then got covid again and his agoraphobia came back tenfold. he cannot find a therapist. i don’t know what to do. we don’t know what to do. what would help at this point?
| 2 |
Are Ez Care and MEDVidi the only websites that can prescribe controlled medications? (US).
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I experience severe panic disorder and was on a significant amount of medication. I went to the ER for a panic attack before my next visit and now both EZcare & MedVidi (they’re the same company) have blacklisted me and accused me of abusing medication.
Anyways, now I’m abruptly off of all these meds and experiencing a lot of physiological effects from it.
Been looking for a solution for weeks. Really could use a viable suggestion please
| 2 |
Not a sociopath, but...
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I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I am empathetic, feel guilty when I hurt someone, and have a usually crystal clear sense of right and wrong, though I make allowances for the many many grey areas there are in moral dilemmas.
However, I tend to turn people off by asking very few questions about them. I don't know if it's just an aversion to asking questions or what, but I've been told it seems like *I don't care about people*.
The thing is, I do care. I enjoy learning about people, through their stories and the information they volunteer without interrogation. I have a tough time thinking of questions to ask. Is it really a deep-seated and unconscious blithe attitude towards the experiences of others, or am I just an introvert who has difficulty socializing?
| 2 |
26 with severe separation anxiety from parents/house
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I’m 26 years old and struggle deeply with agoraphobia, panic disorder, and separation anxiety. I have struggled with this for over 2 decades now and because of it I have not been able to move from home and have only traveled without my parents once in my life (though the agoraphobia keeps me from traveling much in the first place). Whats been bothering me lately is the fact that I can’t even go somewhere two hours away without needing my parents or parent with me. I want to be able to do things with friends, but I’m always making excuses why I can’t go when in reality it’s my panic. I’m in therapy, have been for over 10 years, but I just feel like I’ve failed to launch. I’m finishing up college and the fear of what’s next is also terrifying. Moral of the story is I just feel so alone with all of this. All my friends live alone, have traveled the world alone or with friends, as well as all of my siblings. I haven’t been able to do any of it and feel like such a loser.
| 3 |
How does a voluntary psych ward admission work?
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A loved one recently attempted suicide, recovered himself, but then was admitted to a psych ward. he can’t have his phone and my only contact is through his mom but she doesn’t really think to update me on him because we’ve never even met yet. anyways i don’t know how this works. no one can tell me how long he’ll be there. i’m not even sure he voluntarily admitted, although i know he wanted to go. but i don’t understand any of this. he also called me his first night there but not since– just his mom. should i be worried? he is at an institution in central pennsylvania. can he not call me? how long will he be there roughly? anything, i’m so freaked out. he’s been there, tomorrow, one week.
| 1 |
My first time in the mental hospital and I'm afraid
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Hello everyone, I (30F) have been admitted to the mental hospital to get more control on how I'm feeling and recovering.
It's uncertain how much time I'll stay here.
I have a job that I like and I get sorta decent salary (but inflation hit tho). I talked to my boss yesterday and she told me to not worry about work. The fact is that my job is one of the few things that keeps me afloat and I'm afraid of losing a lot of money I really need to pay rent, bills, car mechanic, psychologist, credit card and dentist. I'm kinda broke because I have collected a bunch of debt when I was unemployed and I live in kinda though budget.
Honestly I cannot afford to be sick. I'm married but we are living separately and all of the house expenses are 100% on me, in addition, my salary is almost 2x his.
I'm very concerned and I really cannot help it.
Have you been hospitalized before and for how long?
| 7 |
hello it's me again. I wanna ask you guys a question. have you experience being friends with narcissistic friend ? I had to stop being friends with this one particular person a year ago because of his inconsiderate and insensitive behavior towards me. he was passive-aggressive and self-righteous.
| null | 4 |
Gaslighting at its finest ..
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I just recently found out that my older brother has been fucking my now ex fiancé for the past 8 or 9 months behind my back. Little back story, I met my former fiancé in 2017 in a different state than where I’m currently located which was my home state prior to moving where I met her. Since getting close around end of 2017 early 2018, this person was apart of my everyday life. I fed her. I put money in her pocket constantly, before we were even a couple.. I sat back and watched her be with another guy and have a kid by him and throughout that time I was still supplying her with money and making sure she ate and was twin care of, etc .. I few years go by and I drunkenly admit my feelings for her after about 2 1/2 years. We talk about it and we end up getting together. Because of who she was, everyone in my family dropped me because of it. No one wanted to support me being with her so all I had was her and my older brother(who at the time was in my home state whilst we were in another state). She moves in with me and we stay in my home for about 8 months before we move back to my home state. We end up in a roomate situation with a family member of mine until I can afford to get us into our own place. This was in December of 2021. We started having even more issues once we stayed alone around January or February. And from that point on she completely changed on me. Granted, I’m mature enough to admit I wasn’t perfect. I had my fuck ups but I never left her. I never abandoned her and her needs. I’ve been there through thick and thin no matter what. I notice she starts to pull away from me due to the fact that I had school and work full time and I didn’t get to spend time with her amongst other things. Nevertheless, I notice she grow extremely close to my older brother. A person whom I thought we both saw a just family, strictly family. But little did I know, for months right up under my nose, they were fucking and secretly in a relationship. All whilst I’m funding her life because she can’t find or keep a job. I’m doing everything I can as a man, I’m providing, I’m trying to be intimate, I’m still flirting and trying to continue to “date” my partner. All while I can see her pulling away from me, from the relationship. I loved her with every fiber in my being. I’ve never physically harmed her, never disrespected her, never threatened her.. I get there were areas I needed work on but I felt I did all I could with what I had. For basically the entire year me and her stayed together once we moved to my home state, she had me blocked on all her social media and I knew it was a red flag but I was so afraid of setting g her off because I felt anything and everything I say or do would be ammunition for her to just leave me. So I decide to deep dive and pay closer attention. I started to notice her crawling out of bed to be on the phone with him at 3, 4 in the morning. Her always wanting to be apart of his day in some way or always texting him or alway gaming with him, even got the point where he was always the topic of her conversation. She went from being a homebody to always wanting to go out and again she knows no one from here but my brother and his wife and they stay almost an hour from us at the time. My brother is never known to drive long distances unless it was for money or sex .. well she had no job, no income of any fashion. I stated to notice differences in her behavior. Her music. Her lingo. Her beliefs. It was all the same as his. I special yes for MONTHS they were doing things behind my back and they gaslighted me the entire time. She’d say “why would I want him, he beats his wife, he neglects his kids, etc”. Same for him, saying things like “I see her as a little sister, wouldn’t do that to you lil bro”. I’d hear them say this to me but their actions just showed so much than what they were willing to tell me. I knew it all long. I just had a strong gut feeling and they made me out to feel insane for even thinking that was a possibility. Fast forward to a few days ago, I find out they’re dating and have been dating the entire time I speculated. She had me blocked however I could still see our dm thread, I blindly notice she changed her pfp and it was a very vague yet point blank message. It was her cuddled up with my brother but I couldn’t see the guys face so even though I knew it was him I was in disbelief. I then find his page and his pfp was them again CUDDLED UP IN MY HOUSE. I read at least a few hundred of his tweets and majority pertain to her and him and how much they loved each other and how great the sex was and how they are starting a life together, etc. I confront both of them and there’s zero remorse, both of them basically told me they didn’t care how it made me feel and they’d do it again if given the option. It’s been a total of 3 days since finding out and I haven’t slept much. I haven’t eaten. I can’t stomach anything. I can’t even enjoy what I used to because I truthfully don’t want to be alive. I can’t seem to find anything that will take my mind off of how they betrayed me. I’m struggling and this is so hard for me to talk about. I’m drowning in my own sea of thoughts because I can’t fathom what they did to me. I don’t know what to do from here because I have zero motivation to do anything. I feel so weak. So helpless. So used. I say all that to say this, how do I get over this without having to resort to what I don’t want to do?
| 3 |
Im tired of doing this alone
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Has anyone on here successfully beat mental illness entirely on your own? as in without a support network. if so how did you do it?
Context
I've been going through a rough patch as i often do, i tried to take the exit off the life highway a few weeks back, which was not my first attempt. I just feel so utterly alone, i've been diagnosed with an eating disorder, depression, and anxiety and I just cant seem to turn things around mentally. All I have is my therapist which i'm struggling to afford, because im so depressed i can hardly work due to exhaustion. My friends know im not doing well mentally but they cant give me the support that i need. What I need is a month where someone just looks after me, I just cant look after myself and im worried that Im going to become a danger to myself if i cant get things back on track. Its easier to take care of myself when there is someone there to help, i just cant do the basic things like feed myself, shop for groceries, get proper sleep, remember appointments ect. many people I know have just spent some time with their family especially at my age (24) they can still get away with being looked after for a week. But i dont have that, my dad and i hardly speak and my mum is bipolar and the worry of me would cause her to spiral. thats all the family I have, mostly because i lost a lot of my family when i came out as transgender.
I dont want to face this alone anymore but I think that I will have to.
| 2 |
HumanWisdom
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See the world around with fresh eyes and find things that you are grateful for. Even an ordinary life can be filled with happiness if you choose to appreciate it and live with gratitude. Find peace through wisdom and lead a happy life with less pain and more joy.
| 1 |
"Safe Spaces" for suicidal people don't exist. I'm tired of the isolation.
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The suicide watch sub is so toxic and the mods should honestly be ashamed. People who post there are often in a mental health CRISIS. Those people want to die. They might be in the middle of a panic attack.
But the mods will remove posts, ban people, etc. left and right. Do they not realize that could literally KILL someone? People are looking for support, needing advice, and then they're immediately silenced.
And that's just one example.
I don't understand how "safe spaces" are able to act like this. I feel like there's no such thing as a safe space for suicidal people. That's probably why so many people die to suicide.
The second you try to open up about it you're shut down and judged. Youre isolated, banned everywhere, bullied, downvoted. In real life you might get thrown into a hospital and forcibly watched.
We need to create ACTUAL safe spaces for suicidal people. This is getting ridiculous. Discussions need to be allowed. They need to be able to talk about it. This is why people are dying.
| 59 |
Does anybody know what youth group homes are like?
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I'm going to a group home and I just wanted to know what they are like. I want some positive and negatives. I just wanna know what most are like so I can prepare. I will be in a youth home (so for people under 18).
| 2 |
My dad traumatized me last fall and now I’ve picked up a lot of anxiety and some confusing mental reactions
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TL:DR My dad screamed at me while roughly grabbing my arm and now I have anxiety and can’t sleep because my head creates new scenarios that I start to panic over.
Hey guys! This is my first time posting on here, so if I’m in the wrong sub or breaking any rules please let me know.
Last fall my parents (61M and 59F) and I (21F) had a fallout. Basically, I had been staying at my boyfriends apartment when at college (crashing on his couch). My parents are extremely conservative Christian and so is my school. Me staying at my boyfriends place went against my school’s code of conduct, even though he lives off-campus in a non-affiliated apartment building. It also violates my parents moral code. Admittedly, I had been lying to them about it, which was a bad choice on my part, but I was leaving to study abroad soon and it was the only way I could go see him regularly before that.
Essentially, my parents found out I had been lying and asked to talk to me two times about it. Both times it just didn’t work. The first time they tried to surprise my boyfriend and I by driving to the school to talk to us. We refused that conversation.
The second time was the day after. I had just gotten back into town. I had work the next day and it was 11:30 already.
Trigger Warning for the next part for yelling and emotional manipulation:
My mom comes upstairs not too much later to tell me that I need to come down and talk to her and dad in the sitting room. Once again I declined for some very simple reasons. I told her I had work in the morning and I needed to shower before bed too. She kept insisting that I come down to the living room and I kept saying no and it started to escalate. My dad then comes around the corner and as he’s coming up the stairs I say I’m going to get in the shower and they can’t force me into a conversation. At that point, mom told me that dad would “pull me out of the shower”. I didn’t know if they’d actually go through on that threat so I didn’t get in. Instead dad backed me into a corner and forcefully took my phone from me saying it was their phone. Then he grabbed my arm and started yelling at me for refusing to talk to them. I told him to “stop touching me” and that he was “hurting me” (which I didn’t mean physically as much as mentally and emotionally) but he just started squeezing my arm tighter. He was barely an inch from my face yelling at the top of his lungs and honestly I don’t remember anything he said because I was so scared.
When he stopped (and after I hyperventilated a bit) I said I was leaving for the night because I wasn’t going to let them force me into that conversation and I was terrified. But they took my car keys and any access I had to the outside world. They pulled the car into the garage. My dad even changed the WiFi password a little later so I couldn’t use their WiFi. I was so determined not to be there though that I snatched my backpack and tried to go out to the car with dad yelling behind me that if I took the car they’d call the police and report it stolen and if I was going to leave I’d have to walk. So I left. I just started walking down the street, and I was freaking out because I only had my laptop which didn’t have a connection. I had no wallet or anything. After some desperate attempts to get a connection I was going to try and find a random house that would let me use a phone to call my boyfriend whose number I had written down. I had no way of telling my boss that I couldn’t get to work the next day. I was still in our neighborhood using the outlet from our little overhang community spot to charge my laptop when my mom found me.
She then proceeded to read to me a very emotional two pages or so she had typed out that I only sat through because I needed to go home and stay in my bed. They had a lot about how she barely recognized me anymore and how they didn’t approve of my relationship.
She then told me that dad wanted to apologize and I needed to talk to him before going to bed. My dad didn’t apologize because he said he was still angry and he wasn’t sure if it was “righteous indignation”. I apologized for lying, and I meant it. I didn’t want to lie.
I had multiple panic attacks that night after they finally let me go upstairs to bed. They gave me one phone call to tell my boyfriend I was okay.
Then for the next two days I couldn’t have my phone and my mom was driving me to and from work. I would freeze up on the way home from work everyday because I was traumatized by what my dad did. It was like my whole body was in cement and I could barely respond to things. They finally let up on me after I sat down and had a talk with them where I presented a document with my boundaries. They read something a lot like a devotional to me and my dad apologized. After that conversation I started paying for a few things like my phone service so they wouldn’t have control over that. I’m fully aware I’m very reliant on my parents. It’s difficult being at still such a dependent age when you’ve reached adulthood and need your own space to grow and be an individual. They said a lot of things that were frustrating when it came to my boundaries too. Things that felt like excuses like “we feel like you’re setting ultimatums here and we’re not perfect” or “your dad has never done anything like this before in your 21 years of life and he’s already apologized”.
I studied abroad for three months after that and when I returned things seemed relatively normal with my parents.
When I was abroad, I barely thought about the incident. I think the distance help. I spent Christmas with my boyfriend and his family so I had distance then too. But when I got back to school, I dealt and am dealing with extreme anxiety.
I have insomnia, and even when I’m really tired I can’t get out of my head and fall asleep. I already have ADHD, which makes falling asleep difficult on its own. When I’m laying in bed I’ll start panicking because my brain will start vividly imagining situations with my dad.
At first it was just what I could’ve done different that night. I could have locked myself in the bathroom or my bedroom. Those types of things. Sometimes, like tonight it’s weirder. I imagine my dad actually physically abusing me, shaming me, spanking me like a child, and the like. I start panicking just thinking up these scenarios and how I would hypothetically react to each one.
I think my big question would be is this PTSD? Or general anxiety? It doesn’t seem like how I’ve seen PTSD portrayed, but often I haven’t heard of different angles or aspects of things.
I’m sorry this was so long!
Any feedback about the mental side of this would be greatly appreciated.
| 5 |
rapidly declining
|
after a peak of being happy, almost manic, my mental health has taken a huge turn for the worst. does anyone have any recommended ways of feeling better? heard all the usual exercise, hot bath, ring a friend etc etc so am just wondering. thank you, have a nice day <333
| 2 |
side effects of drugs? panic, shakes, bladder, apprehension?
|
i just started some meds. hydrooxyzine, quetiapine, quetiapine (slow and instant release).
im having shakes at times. dont always notice it.
i notice a racing heart
when shaking or often when feeling a crash and panic jumps me out of no where i often also, out of NOWHERE, need to take a piss REALLY, REALLY bad... for the life of me i can not hold this in. with in a minute or two im pissing no matter what.
ive been on these meds for a month or so now, still working on them. this last week ive had a couple of times where this insane urge will hit, ill maybe leak a bit with in a couple minutes before this is about to happen so i try to use that as a gage but a couple times ive starting peeing wiht out even knowing i had to go. both times i realized my hands were shaking pretty bad but i hadnt noticed it until after this happened. idk if its related?
in the past month ive had four times at night this happened. once i woke up and realized i really had to pee. another time i realized i was already going, once i woke up damp and another time (just hte othetr day) i woke up having fully gone and not waking at all...
has anyone else ever experienced this?
| 2 |
:/
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I’m not a good person. Like not at all. I did a lot of bad things that I got punished for, and even more that no one found out. A lot of serious ones too. Every time someone tells me that I’m a wonderful person, I know it’s not true. Most the examples they gave me has a dark secret behind it that’s not been discovered. All those terrible things that I did, if someone ever finds out about them I’ll be all alone for the rest of my life. I can’t keep keeping these secrets. Not being honest even to my closest friends and families is a horrible feeling, and it’s really tearing me apart. What should I do?
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Advice on cleaning depression room
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I live with my parents, who have no idea how bad my depression is. They think my room is messy because I'm lazy but in reality I just don't have the strength to clean it. I also suffer with sensory issues which makes cleaning harder. My room isn't even messy anymore; it's filthy.
I mostly struggle with managing my bin, which has resulted in a rat infestation in my room. My parents don't know and I'm scared to tell them in case they get mad. But I don't know how to fix it on my own, especially since I don't do well with things like that.
Unfortunately, I need to get my room clean in a week and I just don't know what to do. I've always struggled with cleaning but my depression has made everything so much harder, so I'm very worried that it won't get done in time.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Update: Thank you so much for all of your advice. I’m happy to report that although my room isn’t spotless, it’s clean and liveable. Thank you for all of your advice and kind words
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