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Tomorrow it will be 6 months since my attempt failed
|
So tomorrow is exactly 6 months since I tried to unalive, and very nearly succeeded. Since then I've graduated high-school, working a decent job with good people, had my first boyfriend, moving out at the end of the month to a new city, and starting at a great college.
This is just a reminder to myself that I've come too far to give up again, I feel very empty and have fallen into the worst depressive episode since then, but I've had some really good days since attempting suicide, and keep going because there will be more.
| 39 |
how do I "snap" out of it
|
I went through alot last year and this year. House fire, trapped inside of house. Lost just about everything. Finally got back into the house after 8 months. Then my husband of 12 years leaves me. Our marriage was rocky for awhile.. then the kicker.. he's screwing around with my best friend of 15 years. He wanted me out of the house so he beat his face up and scratched it. Said I did it. He got a PFA had me removed from the house by sheriff's in front of my boys. (8&9)
I have no money for a lawyer so I got screwed. Lost my boys all but 6 hours a week. ( I was a stay at home mom for 9 years). He took all the money, got rid of my cats, didn't tell me. It took a month to get my clothes and a couple of other things.
They smeared my name to everyone. I have bipolar 2 so they told ppl I beat my kids and that I'm a pill popping junkie. I'm in therapy since last year. Tried to get meds changed up, made me feel like shit. So I lost my job that I got when all this started. Searching non-stop. I'm in a funk.. I'm angry, I'm sad ( about my boys) I can care less they are together. But my BEST friend. Now they do all this expensive stuff with the boys. I feel like a failure, a shitty mom, because I can't do those things with the boys. I am just tired... Emotionally.. I want to be happy, I want to stop the thoughts in my head and the mistrust I feel towards everyone. I have a good man in my life now,. But I just feel like I'm sabatoging my relationship,. I have some good days. I'm happy with my boys . I'm just feeling useless and like I'm no one .. I worry all the time I'm being betrayed or will be abandoned or just out with nothing. They lied, they took everything from me and live life like they did nothing wrong. My mom is so weird and says she's with me, shes supportive. But then flips sides. How I should have never let him back in the house because SHE kicked him out after she saw him with the gf with her own 2 eyes.
I'm sorry this is so long. I'm just so down and just want to move on and clear my head
| 2 |
I need to talk to someone right now
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I am losing control of my disorders. All I feel right now is extreme aggression, anger, hate, and etc. On top of that, my anxiety is flairing up as well. I need someone to talk to right now......
| 4 |
how can i (m17) help my friend (f17) with supposed daddy issues
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my friend has had a hard childhood and she came to me today and said she thinks she might have daddy issues, how can i help her? (sorry if this is not the place to ask)
| 0 |
I'm new to this but I'm in need of support
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Hello, this might be awkward bc I don't know how to vent to more than one person but here's some back story abt me. Also, Tw for talks about suicide and alcoholism So my biological mother is a narcissist who I don't live with or really talk to because I blocked her a few days ago because she overstepped boundaries, I currently live with my half-sister's parents and I lived with my bio dad for some time last year but that didn't end too well. So recently I have been struggling with a bunch of stuff, gender, home life, depression, suicidal thoughts, and more. My adopted mom's mom recently died and it has been really hard on her but it's getting on my nerves because she took it out on me and I had doctors appointment not too long ago with a psychiatrist and my adopted mom just kept talking about herself and it made me so upset and still does because it's my appointment and it's my opportunity to get help. at that appointment, I was diagnosed with PTSD and I have kind of been in shock ever since. I knew the things from my childhood and early teens affected me but I didn't think they affected me enough to form PTSD. My adopted mom drinks a lot and I'm so tired of it I've been around alcoholics my entire life and she gets really touchy when she's drunk and I just hate being around drunk people and it happens nearly every night. whenever I'm upset she is always mean to me she treats me like I'm idk an animal or something she says "what's wrong with you" in a snobby tone and she doesn't treat my sisters like that's why I hide my feelings a lot and don't talk abt it because she acts like that towards me. I've been suicidal and haven't told anyone I've only told them brief stuff about my pain but not that I'm suicidal. the last time I told my adopted mom I was suicidal she was just like "aw don't feel that way" I'm like oh thanks I suddenly am not suicidal anymore. like I need therapy she won't call a therapist and I've reminded her and she brings it up every day and I need someone to talk to so maybe this will help.
| 1 |
Possible eating disorder or laziness?
|
Is it an eating disorder if I don’t mind NOT eating, even when I’m in a good mindset? Because today I’ve felt very good, but all I have in my stomach is a large soda and 3 taquitos from 7-Eleven. I can feel that I’m hungry, but I’m in no hurry to get home to cook.
There are days when I’m down and can ignore eating even if I’m hungry. Is it a disorder or more of my depression attacking me and keeping me out of the kitchen?
| 5 |
Why can’t I sleep
|
I don’t even know if it’s cuz of mental illness since even when I was a child I couldn’t sleep at night. My mom always complained how I stay up all night and take a 3 hour nap during the day. Even naps are getting harder tbh. Melatonin has never worked for me and my mom really tried for a long time. I feel like shit not being able to sleep without sleeping aid but ik if I don’t take it I won’t sleep. I’ve tried not looking at my phone hours before bed, I’ve tried not sleeping for 2 days, I’ve tried being super active during the day and getting sun. I just can’t sleep like normal people do
| 2 |
Did I do the right thing?
|
I recently dropped my Fulltime position back down to lesser position due to health problems that are getting worse and worse; as they are effecting me mentally. A lot happened last month which came to a head last week, when I lost complete control over my disorders. I have PTSD ( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ), Panic Anxiety Disorder, and Depression. Did make the right choice? Or did I completely screw myself over financially? I was making anywhere between 40 and 60 hours a week before I dropped my full time position, and went down to 29 to 40 hours. I have been having issues with my job well. If anyone can give me some answer, it would be very appreciated
| 4 |
Low Acuity. That term seems to define my life
|
I am sick.
You just can't see it.
Yes, I have not been shot at or stabbed, and I don't have any broken bones-
but my heart is hurting.
No literally.
My anxiety is so bad, I went to the ER yesterday fully understanding that I'm dying.
I obviously am still alive, but questioning if my heart is going to give out.
Instead of one medication that could help, how about 6 that probably might not.
And everytime I try to fall asleep, I KNOW that I am dying.
My Psychiatrist doesn't listen. My mom says I just need a job.
But they don't know that if I leave my house, someone is following me. Someone is trying to steal me.
Giving you a label with no handbook on how to exist with it, only perpetuates the paranoia.
So I stay inside my apartment. Thinking I'm damned if I do, and if I don't.
So I don't.
Because I can't.
That's something they don't understand.
| 3 |
Getting rid of pain? That’s just not possible is it? You’ve to continue living with the pain till it becomes normal, isn’t that a part of life? Or is there smthin more to it?
| null | 2 |
I messed up, and now I am freaking out about it.
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The other night I lost it at work, and now I am freaking out about it. I have been struggling with my mental health for the past two years, and I think I realized that how bad it has been failing. I am still freaking out about it.
| 2 |
does anyone else have self harm type thoughts after the get cut accidentally?
| null | 6 |
I don’t want to think anymore
|
I just want it all to stop, I barely even feel like being a functioning human anymore and the thoughts flooding my head makes it feel like interacting with anyone is impossible. I just want it all to end to where I don’t have to think anymore and sink into a blank space in my mind. My family despises me, everyone else despises me and I despise myself.
| 13 |
feeling lonely and feeling like everyone hates me.
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Okay, so my disorders are screaming loud right now. I am convinced that everyone I know hates me due to things that happened years ago. Could use someone to talk to until my disorders quiet down.
| 4 |
Please help me break free
|
Now I know there’s a lot of people out there who are in desperate need of money.
whilst I do come from a fortunate background (I’ve always had a roof over my head and food), I live in a very toxic Indian house.
Cultural ideologies and expectations have had a huge impact on my mental health, to the point where I’ve considered suicide on multiple occasions. When speaking to my family about this, they simply put it down to - I’m disrespectful, out of control and begging for attention. Yet, I’m actively seeking therapy and trying to find ways to better myself.
more recently, i’ve been forced to put my location on my phone, I’m not allowed to see friends or I have to send “proof” with people I’m with - and yes, I know these sound like minor problems but for me, enough’s enough - I’m 27!
just last weekend they took me to meet a boy to marry without any prior warning, then it caused WW3 because I said I wasn’t interested.
I’m tired of living this way and desperately trying to raise funds for a house deposit so I can leave.
now I’m not trying to beg, I’m just asking for a little support to break free so I can live my authentic self and find who I am to be truly happy.
b4j3c-help-me-break-free
| 2 |
My issues are acting up again
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Alright, so my issues have been acting up this week because of extreme stress ( there was a situation at work where it was the last straw ) so I put in a transfer request with my manager yesterday, and my anxiety started acting up as I was having a panic attack. Now this where it gets weird, I talked to another job about potentially applying( I explained my situation with my current employer ) and my anxiety died down ( its still up but now it can be maintained with weed ) I haven't been able to talk to my therapist yet as I want to run this by her before I make any real decisions ( we had already discussed my transfering before the situation that happened at my job a few days ago ). I can use someone to talk to for a little bit to help get my issues in line.
| 2 |
On the line of a nerves breakdown.. Where can I find support/advice?
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I’ve been going through a lot of stress lately, related to family, living circumstances, finances, etc. I wouldn’t even know where to start except I have not a soul to lean on for support or vent to or get advise from & I need it desperately! I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown or worse.. I don’t know where to find help asap, I don’t have a therapist at the moment & I texted a crisis hotline the other night which helped in the moment but I don’t think I can get the advice I need from that. I’m so overwhelmed, I don’t want to make big changes or important decisions based on my emotional roller coaster then regret it later or realize it wasn’t the right decision but my situation is so complicated & I’m getting so tired of feeling this way & it’s so exhausting. Any suggestions, advice is greatly appreciated & thank you to anyone taking the time to read or respond to me. Have a blessed day.
| 2 |
saw my ex while driving back.... now my issues are acting up
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The situation is way too long so I will try to summarize it for you all. Saw ex that I am still on very bad terms with while I was driving back tonight, now my issues are acting up. I need to talk to someone to distract me for a little bit so I can get my head on straight ( I normally smoke weed to keep my issues at bay but I can't due to an appointment I have. )
| 4 |
my friend died and my school won’t honor her at graduation
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hi guys! i’m not sure if this is allowed, but i’m gonna post anyways lol. my freshman year of high school my best friend lost her battle with depression and took her life. this year she would be graduating, so we asked our school to honor her at our graduation ceremony and the school said no. please read and sign the petition and share if you can. thank you for your time.
https://chng.it/fR26S58fQW
| 42 |
can i ask something? what mental illness that distorts yourself, push people away yet dont want to lose them, having the fear that someone will leave me but i know that they will not. constantly comparing myself a lot. hurting myself and cant maintain relationships. my mood are highs and lows.
| null | 4 |
To people on Clonazepam; what is it like?
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My doctor told me the basic stuff about the medicine, but I’m curious what people that have actually taken the medicine think about it. I have really intense anxiety caused by schizoaffective and bipolar disorder and I was prescribed this medicine because my last medication, Buspirone Hydrochloride, was making me throw up multiple times a day every day I took it.
What are some side effects you’ve experienced while on Clonazepam? Did it actually help your anxiety? How many MG’s are you on now compared to when you started it? I also have a stoner question — will I be able to use marijuana anymore?
Thanks in advance
| 5 |
can someone give me advice for this?
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Okay, so I have PTSD, Panic Anxiety Disorder ( now known as just anxiety ) and Depression. I am also a writer ( I use to be anrtist but I have since retired from it due to different medical reasons ) and my disorders interfere with my hobby that I have developed. Can someone give me some advise as to how I can work through it? It would be very appreciated.
| 2 |
Toxic loser syndrome
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Just over here in a downward spiral of self loathing, shame, and pity. I feel like my perceptions and ideas are so out of touch, I don’t know what’s true or real anymore. I think I was gaslighted by a narcissist….OR AM I THE NARCISSIST?? Or am I emotionally dysfunctional because I had emotionally immature parents and I’ve been mirroring/masking as a neurodivergent for 36 years of my life?! I just feel really confused, lonely, and like I’m an evil person inside, though I don’t want to be. I feel like other people easily make close friends and have happy, intimate relationships….and I have no idea how to do that. I think you have to spend a lot of time with people, which I hate doing. And I think you have to not dump your negative emotions out on others, but I say shit on impulse and instantly regret it. I am such a fucking weirdo and realize I am the toxic one (I think?!) because I keep ruining friendships. Or do I attract the wrong “friends” because I can’t see the red flags because I’m emotionally stunted?! I wish someone could tell me what’s real or not. Even if I’m the one who’s completely wrong about everything. It sure seems like I am. How do I just be normal and likable? I feel like one issue is that I’m fat and unattractive. People don’t want to even talk to me. And then if they do, they realize I’m so awkward, stupid, and mean. Even my 4 year old has shown me that he would prefer a “pretty” mommy. Why did God give me this life and others are blessed with so much more? What lesson am I supposed to learn from this? When do I get to be done here :(
| 7 |
I need to talk to someone badly......
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As the title states, I need to talk to someone. My anxiety is through the roof, my insomnia and my disorders are screaming like a loud siren. I've taken over 120 mg of melatonin to try and sleep and nothing has happened. Please, I need to talk to someone please.............
| 2 |
how to stop self harm
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What sort of things can I do when I have the overwhelming urge to hurt myself? I've recently started therapy but she has yet to give me advice on this? I get it, it's in my own hands. But what am I supposed to do when I don't even think and just hit myself impulsively when it gets overwhelming. What other things can I do to replace this behavior. It has only gotten worse and worse each year. From biting myself, hitting myself, pulling hair, cutting myself, stabbing myself.....idk what to do
| 4 |
I think I'm bipolar
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It's hard to explain why I feel the way I do. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel dead inside sometimes. I'm just not myself anymore. It doesn't make any sense to me. I've been feeling this way for a while now. And it scares the shit out of me. Why do I have these moments where I'm feeling depressed, then there will be something that will trigger me and I'll switch? I'll flick on like a light switch, masking whatever pain I was in before and...become a totally different person. I'll be sporadic, excitable, energetic, and stuck on whatever my mind deems worthy of latching onto. And I'll crave that topic so much like a cigarette, obsessing over it. And then I'll go back to being numb again when the high dies down until the process repeats all over again. It's exhausting to live like this. I can't keep up with how many times I've flipped between these states. Am I crazy? I feel like I'm losing my mind.
| 7 |
I need someone to talk to for a few minutes.
|
So, I am cutting right to the chase. I need to talk to someone, as my mental issues are acting up and I am a little aggitated as well
| 3 |
Falling back again…
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I started a new job a year ago and it’s so tough. It’s also made my head spin round recently and I feel so bitter all the time. Its also made me rethink the whole male population…but I know I only meet a select few. I’ve started crying again everyday, thinking about taking my life again and angry about the world. I have a deep sadness inside, I feel like nobody cares, nobody is compassionate anymore and I feel like I just don’t have the energy anymore for this life. Perhaps I’m just not tough enough, It just doesn’t seem worth all the stress sometimes….I’m so low
| 1 |
SOS
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My husband is struggling with his mental health. I have tried to help him the best I can. He refuses to see a doctor and go on medication (he has been on it before and hated it). He refuses to speak to a professional about the matter and just keeps placing the blame on others. His temper has escalated lately and I’m at a loss on what to do. I’m to the point I no longer want to be around him and I’m afraid if I try to leave it will escalate to the point of someone getting hurt. We have a few children together and he blames most of his unhappiness on them. It has destroyed my self worth living like his. I can’t afford to move out on my own right now. What do I do? I’m tired of crying everyday and feel like an asshole for the awful thoughts I have about him.
| 4 |
My anxiety is up, and its for a reason....
|
Okay. So my anxiety is up, as of my helath issues lately. I am terrified of thinking about what happens after you die. Like, what happens as breathe one final breath? Do we simply cease to exist? Or do we get shifted off to another body and our memories wiped clean? I've been having panic attacks because of this, as I have to get an MRI done..... I am scared.....
| 4 |
Newly pregnant and ghosted both of us have mh issues I’m devastated
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Newly pregnant ghosted by bf we both have mental health issues
My bf broke up with me about two weeks ago because I had a bad episode where he wasn’t answering the phone for two days when we were supposed to go to Orlando so when I call his house his phone a fight ensued between his mother and I. She never liked me.
He is 26 and I am 29. He still lives with mom, I own my own condo. Im bipolar and he has severe depression. I’m finding out recently I’m very early in my pregnancy. He has completely ignored me since then except for stating that if I have the baby he will make sure his parents take it because I’m bipolar (they have money while I don’t) and that I’ll never hold or see him/her. Mind you, he always said that if this happened he would want to start a family.
I went to drop off his belongings yesterday. I wasn’t expecting him to be home, but he ran out the door and just went back inside after shaking his head when I asked him if he got my messages. I had even sent an early sonogram. I don’t know if this has anything to do with anything, but he smokes about 7 bowls of pot a day, so maybe he was confused.
I can’t stand losing him, and I can’t stand aborting this baby. It’s like everything I’ve ever dreamed of is gone. I can’t stand the thought of childbirth and parenthood alone. It seems like no matter what I do, fuck up and I’m tired of being in constant pain. I feel like If it weren’t for be being born like this I would have never had to endure all this pain I feel and cause those who love me. I’ve tried every med in the book, counseling, nothing.
| 1 |
Anyone feel like non-depressed people seem kind of... depressed?
|
So this is coming form a person with ADHD and depression. When I think of happiness I think of those moments that I sometimes get at night where I feel like I'm on top of the world and everything feels great. The thing is, when I look at people around me, from the outside at least, it seems like everyone is depressed. I never hear anyone mention how great life is and I would think that if I would be happy I would at least. It could be because of my ADHD daydreams and fantasies where I think happiness is like living in some fantasy movie-esque world. To be honest, it's kind of depressing and makes me not want to get treatment because it doesn't seem like anyone is really happy and all ADHD med's would do is make my motivation more consistent and flat. Sometimes I think everything is kind of fake and pointless and happiness is just a bunch of chemicals moving around in your brain. Maybe it's just my depression making me feel hopeless... I'm just hoping meds will just make me feel normal.
| 7 |
Could use someone to talk to....
|
My anxiety has been up high lately, and I have a few days before I see my therapist again, so it would be appreciated if I had someone could talk to me.
| 2 |
Help! My anxiety is acting up severely bad.
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Anxiety acting up becuase I messed up on my taxes. Anxiety Hasn't stopped since then. Please, someone help me. I'm losing it
| 10 |
Help! My anxiety is acting up very badly. Need to talk to someome.
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My anxiety is acting up very badly because I messed up on my taxes. Please, I need to talk to someone.
| 6 |
My insomnia is acting up extremely bad.... somebody help me.
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My insomnia is acting up extremely bad. All normal methods failed. Someone help me
| 7 |
Feeling depressed when alone again…
|
I am an introvert and I do love my own company but when I’ve spent a weekend with family and my boyfriend, then when I get home to a house alone, I just feel so depressed! Even though i am excited to get home when I do, I feel like crying. Does anyone else get this?
| 6 |
Disorder Problems
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My disorders have been acting up ( I was recently put out of of work a couple of weeks due to covid ) came back today, and my disorders flared up very badly. I have already contacted my therapist, but I am still feeling that sense of dread and fear on top of feeling like I am drowning. I could use someone to ralk to for a few minutes, or up until my therapist gets back to me.
| 3 |
Why do I want to be hurt?
|
Throwaway account because I'm embarrassed about this.
I just really desperately want someone to hurt me. Not in a sexual way. Emotionally or physically, it really doesn't matter. I just really wish someone would hurt me.
It doesn't feel the same when I self harm. But whenever I feel any kind of mental anguish from what someone has done to me it just feels so real and I feel like I'm actually alive instead of just existing.
The only trauma I can think of is when I self harmed once and showed my parents when I was younger. They were so angry at me and said it was a stupid thing to do. When it came to my emotional problems and mental health, they always seemed kind of dismissive and left me to sort it out by myself, blaming me for my eating disorder behaviours and for other things I couldn't help.
I don't mean to make light of actual abuse. I fully understand what a horrible experience that is as much as someone who's never experienced it could. I'm not romanticising it when I say I want that experience. That suffering. I just want it so much and I think about it nearly all the time.
I don't know if it's the fact that I want something to justify my mental pain or what. I've often thought about manipulating someone close to me into hating me so much that they abuse me.
Please could anyone suggest a cause for this? Therapy isn't really an option even though I know I definitely need it.
Thank you for reading and for responses in advance
| 5 |
Online Psychiatry Experiences?
|
Hi, does anyone have any thoughts/experiences for online psychiatry services such as Cerebral/Brightside/Talkspace etc.?
I'm having a really hard time establishing with a new psychiatrist and I'm out of medication and none of my providers will fill due to various complications so I signed up for Cerebral and I have a session with a provider scheduled for this evening but I'm kind of sketched out by the bad reviews in the play store and also on the Better Business Bureau site.
Does have good experiences with these services? Is there anyone who's established and used them long term?
| 2 |
I have superiority complex and its affecting my life, my career and my future
|
So, if i have to talk about how I have developed this, my upbringing has an adverse effect on it. The thing is, i have been raised like this, If i have done something great, I am superior. And if I haven’t, i am loser. So, i guess you can have an idea on how I developed this problem. How is this affecting my progress, my studies?
I am a scheduled person. I like to follow a constant schedule and lead a routined life. So, for that, everyday, my brain automatically chalks out a routine for daily activities after I wake up. I had motivation and goal before getting into university. But after getting into one, I Don't have one because the major I got was something I never expected to be and there is no option to change the major or University. So, I am focus less right now. Still, my brain keeps making a schedule everyday as usual but I Don't have that motivation to follow it like before. But whenever I try to follow it, a voice in my head keeps convincing me to procrastinate, to waste time and keeps telling me that I can complete a whole day's lesson with 1 hour. And as that voice convinces me to leave my studies and necessary tasks, I waste my valuable time and the voice keeps telling me "that's very easy, you Don't need whole day to finish it, Only 1 hour is enough". When that 1 hour comes, after seeing the lessons, I realize its not something that can be completed in 1 hour. So I get frustrated and stressed. And even if I could have completed atleast 30-40% of that lesson in that 1 hour, the frustration and stress stops me from doing that even and when the deadline, exam comes, I just curse myself.
What should I do to get rid of this? To gain control over myself again. I Don't want to see my life, my future crumble like this in front of my eyes and me being hopeless.
| 2 |
Kinda cool to think someone somewhere is having the best day of their life today. Someone's hearing I love you for the first time today. Someone's gonna get the job of their dreams today. Someone received some kinda good news today. Tomorrow could be your best day, so keep going.
| null | 49 |
I have been struggling
|
I have been struggling with my mental health lately, which I have felt extremenly anxious to go into work; to the point where I would much prefer to use my sick time. I have worked there from for almost 6-7 years, and I am tired. Not sleepy tired, but mentally exhausted tired. I need to know what to do, please anyone give me advice.
| 4 |
...
|
Hindi ko alam paano nag work itong site na ito, 2 in the morning and I am not feeling good. I just finished watching Mr. Hiiragi's Homeroom, how I wish this world has a lot of teacher like him. Once in my life I want to experience to have someone like him. Memories from what happened in the past is still hunting me. The suffering won't end, and my mental health is deteriorating my body. How I wish I have someone to help me because honestly I can't help myself anymore. I really want someone to help me but I don't want to be a burden haha.
| 2 |
Help anxiety attack
|
As title states, I am having an anxiety attack and need to talk to someone
| 2 |
Anyone with depression/ productivity tips?
|
Through a complicated mix of life circumstances and mental health problems that I won’t go into I’ve been unemployed. Depression felt weirdly adaptive during the height of the pandemic, like leaning into the feeling of not wanting to see people and just doing nothing really helped. But now that things have been starting again there’s this urge for everyone to “resume life” and I feel like I’m too caught up in the depression to follow through with any life choices. I know the timeline of the more major steps to take in terms of appropriately managing my depression like re-establishing a schedule and getting a job, going back to therapy, and potentially reconsidering medication.
But I’m here to ask what are some more minor/ easy things to start doing that can help with the depression just enough to give me space to pursue those more major steps?
| 3 |
I believe I don't deserve anything good
|
I feel like I don't deserve anything good in my life. I sincerely believe that I am a terrible person, I may appear nice and kind but I know for a fact deep down I'm a terrible person. That is why I believe that I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve friends, and I don't deserve love. All the pain, all the bad thoughts and suicidal ideation, all the self hatred I feel, I deserve it. I truly believe that I deserve to suffer to the point that I drive myself mad and end it all. I can't comprehend why people care about me and why people enjoy being around me because I'm a sad, unstable, piece of crap. I deserve to be alone, to receive the cold shoulder from everyone and I deserve all the hurt i feel from this. I'm not a good person, it doesn't matter how much makeup you can put on your face when you're ugly on the inside. I don't know I thought maybe someone will have an opinion on this even if it is giving me the typical "Harden up" but yeah and also if you can relate I'm so sorry.
| 14 |
Join us on the r/DecidingToBeBetter Official Discord Server!
| null | 277 |
/r/DecidingToBeBetter is reopening to a limited capacity and other points to be addressed
|
Hello, everyone.
Long-time mod here.
It's been decided to reopen in a limited capacity to allow access to long-term posts and permit some level of engagement. However, given the recent and upcoming changes to reddit, moderation in its current form will be untenable for the foreseeable future.
I, alone, have done over 25% of all mod actions in the last 3 months and automod/reddit filtering have done another 50%. Having used apollo and other non-native-to-reddit tools for a lot of my moderation, I will be unable to perform the same labor and with old and new bad behavior of admins, it's hard to muster the same energy for moderation even for people I care about.
Going forward, notable changes in include:
#We will be restricting any and all links attached to posts
#We will be changing at least some automod rules from "filter" to "remove".
#Response times to mod messages will be longer.
#And more! To be determined.
ALSO
#####As we don't want to completely hamper people's ability to receive help here, we're also looking for more moderators to pick up the slack.
- Please use at least 3 sentences to explain why you’d like to be a mod and what moderation experience you have (it’s okay if you don’t have any! But do tell us why you believe you’d be able to help here)
Thanks for your time.
1ST EDIT: Please feel free to share your thoughts on the blackout and if/what we can change further. Such as re-closing, restricting further, etc.
| 106 |
I attempted to un-alive myself yesterday and it made my Dad and i closer
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TW - suicide
This is my first reddit post ever so i’m not sure if i’m doing this right and i’d appreciate it if someone helped me, also a really long one, sorry in advance. Yesterday i (22M) tried to commit suicide. My life has by far not been a tragic one, but also is nowhere close to stable as i’d want it to be. There’s a million ways i could describe how terrible my home-life was growing up and how i was abused physically and mentally, but it seems more and more that this is becoming really common with others who’ve experienced the same so i won’t bother. I’m a broken person, i’ve practically thrown away the 2 most amazing & beautiful girlfriends i’ve ever had and loved a lot in the past 3 years for the sake of being shitty with everyone, including myself. My parents barely know whats up with me whether i’m away at college or back home, they’re great people (separated before i was born), we just aren’t very close. I have 4 brothers (one of them i lost to suicide back in 2013) who i’ve always made sure i had a great relationship with as we were all we had growing up together, but we all are growing apart as time marches on. This past year, i’ve had nothing but legal battles with my younger half-brothers mom who wants him to stay away from me even though he trusts me more than he does his own mother (she’s doing this to try and get more money from my father and because she feels i’m a bad influence because i’ve taken him to some concerts), which has cost me more money than i have because i want to spare one of the only healthy relationships i have which is with my younger brother. I just found out i have to fight another bullshit case yesterday, pay another retainer fee of $1500 to my attorney to defend myself and my family against my half-brothers mom, $1500 which i don’t have. I’ve felt like the biggest burden amongst the world and yesterday it all toppled down and i tried to hang myself. All i could think to myself was, my dad always told me suicide is a coward’s way out, but it was taking a lot of fucking courage to stand there knowing what would happen when i kick this chair out from under me. Well, i did kick the chair. All that i really remember is that i was in the air struggling to breathe, my vision went black, and then i woke up what seemed to feel like an entire hour later on the floor shaking my head violently side-to-side with a ton of random thoughts flowing through my mind. My head had fallen out of the back of the knot i tied. I consciously started to feel that i was shaking vehemently and was able to stop myself after 30 seconds or so. I almost bit my tongue in half somewhere in all of this and my leg muscles have been in so much pain ever since along with my neck, i’m not sure if i had a seizure but thats the only explanation i have. It was the scariest physical sensation i have ever felt. I ended up telling my dad what i did because i was not really sure who else to go to, and i’d never want my one older/two younger brothers who look up to me to see me weak. My Dad listened and said he wished i would have talked to him about all of this sooner. He opened up to me about some of his personal fuck ups and hard times he was in when he was younger, and i’d never seen him look so heartbroken in my life before this, at the thought of losing me. We both cried a lot and he gave me the warmest hug i’ve ever gotten from him along with some final words “i can’t lose you buddy, i’ve come this far in life with my own fuck ups, and you are destined for greatness and you don’t even know it. Lets do this together, i promise we will get through this together.” Idk how we are going to get through these legal battles and other life obstacles we both face, but i’ve never heard him speak with such conviction, and today he is already doing everything he can to help me. Long story short, i love my Dad so much and i’m sorry i’ve taken our relationship for granted. I have so much to be thankful for and sometimes all you need is some perspective.
TL;DR - i tried ending it all out of selfishness, i talked to my dad and got some of the best advice i could have ever asked for and am so extremely thankful i am still here.
| 146 |
Is it too late for me to dream big and dramatically change for the better?
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I’m 26, turning 27 in November. I still want to achieve great things in my life. I want to do things like age well, maybe start a business and another stream(s) of income, get into good shape, try my hand at love and marriage, learn as much as I can about subjects like computer science, finance, psychology, and communications, quit bad habits, start better ones, be an inspiration to others, and be closer with my family and God.
I guess I can’t help but compare because I made a series of bad decisions in my 20s. I’m still in school for a degree (albeit I only have 7 classes left), started losing my hair, had to get a root canal removed cause of an infection, became overweight, worked a series of jobs unrelated to my major, still haven’t worked in my field yet.
Basically, I can’t blame anyone else for my problems as of now.
Now I’m about to be 10 years removed from my 10 year anniversary of leaving high school and while I feel like I’ve improved, I feel like I have a long way to go. I dunno if it’s worth it to still dream big and go hard on my goals, or if I should settle and try more modest goals. I get that it’s better to have some of what you want than none, but I’m kind of stubborn and want to have it all.
I see people who I graduated with doing much better and can’t help but feel like I’ll be doing catch up. Like I passed so many opportunities up and missed out that I may be destined to be mediocre forever.
Am I overthinking this and being too hard on myself? Can I turn it all around?
| 34 |
I cleaned my goddamn room
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And ended up with allergies but eh. I recently (like 2-3 days ago) made a post about this depressive state I was in and how I could not get anything done. But I made a start. I ended up cleaning my room (which I hadn’t in over a month and a half and therefore ended with an allergy). But idk. I’m kinda semi proud that I atleast got that done so🥳
| 102 |
I forced myself to go to the gym everyday for at least two weeks now and I’m already feeling so much better
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I suffer from lots of depression, isolation, fatigue and other stuff I’d rather not mention. I also have a good 40 pounds I could stand to lose. I have had a membership with my local gym for a while now but was only using it for the pool.
Two weeks ago I decided I was absolutely SICKA of staying in my apartment. So every week day I’ve been going and doing 1 mile on a stand up machine and about 6-9 miles on a bike. I finish it off with lifting some simple weights using a few of the exercise machines.
I feel so much better than I did 3 weeks ago it’s not even funny. I’m far less depressed, I’m having less anxiety and feel more confident in my decisions. I’m noticing that even though I have insomnia my mind isn’t racing as much as it used to. My overall mood is much more to with the flow. And my energy. My god I felt dead 3 weeks ago just doing one mile.
I am even surprised to say I haven’t watched my TV in these two weeks. I find that I’m having more of an urge to go out and interact with people instead of surfing Netflix and feeling sorry for myself.
It hasn’t been easy at all and I have a long way to go but man I feel so much better physically and mentally. Go to the gym for a week and develop a routine and I promise you by the end of the week you’ll have a sense of improvement. Make some small talk with the regulars. A little goes a long way
And to be clear I’m not trying to build tons of muscle and be sculpted I’m just thinking about cardiovascular health and blood flow along with some weight loss.
| 457 |
How to reconcile my desire to connect with people and also stay away from them?
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U2's 'With or Without You' explains it well.
I (30F) am in a terrace at the moment, next to me there are two couples. One of them have a baby, another just announced that they will soon have one. They are in their mid thirties but speak like 15 years old, one of them is smoking next to the baby and swearing. And I'm here, observing, in the realisation that this world has no solution, because people like this continue to reproduce while those who are more capable and a better influence, stay away from parenting, perhaps because they are also more responsible.
I've been fortunate to meet a couple of people along the way who are interesting, respectful, responsible and compassionate, but they are the exception to the rule and happen to live in different countries and cities.
I often do the opposite to what I feel like to not succumb to this depressive state I'm in when it comes to relationships. If I don't want to go to an event, I do. If I don't want to go for dinner with my friends, I go. Anything to make sure I don't stay at home and succumb to the - more than validated - reality that people suck. They are asleep.
I've tried joining cultural groups and sports activities, but it doesn't make it better. You would think interesting people go to book clubs, until you see the type of books they read and the conversations they have.
I've always enjoyed being alone (this post explains why) but lately I have a profound sentiment of lonelines, that was triggered after a number of break ups with friends and lovers. And I just don't know how to reconcile all this.
I have the conviction that I won't die old, because there is no way I'm dealing with this for another 60 years, so this will ultimate solve the fact that I hate living in this world because I hate people.
Any advice for the meantime will be appreciated.
| 2 |
90-DAY CHALLENGE TO BUILD OR BREAK HABITS. DM me to Join
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Hey guys, 21M here, University student.
I'm at the end of my summer vacation and my Uni starts next week so I want to do a 21-day challenge to get back on track with some productive habits and routines so feel free to join me...I will be extending the 21 days to a 90-day one as well so it's not late you can join me anytime, We can make it
| 5 |
How do I stop being bland when speaking to people I don’t really know?
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Yesterday I was excited to meet a person with whom I frequently text now. But along with that person, there were other people too. At such situations, idk why but I just become the most bland person ever. If it’s a one on one conversation I get to show my personality and have nice conversations. But when it’s a group where I don’t really know the others well, I just end up being silent and bland. How do I fix this? Thanks in advance for replying.
| 3 |
Does longing for a friend a sign of weakness?
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When I ask how can I find a friend, I feel the person or people that I am asking think of me as a weak person. An emotional person. Sometimes they just looked at me and sometimes others said that it's not important.
I don't know. I know it's hard to find a true friend you can trust, but sometimes I just someone to share a laugh with. Just like when I am just a child. I feel lonely. Is this the signs of me being weak?.
| 1 |
I finally quit smoking after 10 years!
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Hey there, fellow Redditors! I just wanted to share my excitement and gratitude with all of you in this amazing community. Today marks a whole year since I last had a cigarette, and I couldn't be prouder of myself.
Smoking had been my coping mechanism for over a decade, and breaking free from its clutches felt impossible. But with the support and inspiration I found in this subreddit, I mustered up the courage to quit for good.
I can't even begin to describe the immense sense of relief and accomplishment I feel. It's like a weight has been lifted off my chest, and I can finally breathe freely. My health has improved, my sense of taste and smell have returned, and I no longer have that constant nagging cough.
To anyone out there struggling with quitting smoking, I want you to know that it is possible. Take it one day at a time, seek support from communities like this one, and never give up on yourself. You are stronger than you think.
I'm sharing my journey here because I want to spread hope and encourage others to prioritize their well-being. We all deserve to live a healthier, happier life. So, thank you, r/DecidingToBeBetter, for being a source of inspiration and motivation. Let's keep striving to be the best version of ourselves!
P.S. If anyone has questions about how I quit smoking or needs advice, feel free to ask in the comments below. I'll be more than happy to share my experience and help in any way I can.
| 70 |
Skinny and looking for good routine
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Skinny and looking for good routine
Skinny and looking for good routine
I am looking for the good routine for upper body strength. I am underweight and skinny. Cardio is good. Going to go to gym 3 times a week and then get more frequent. What to do? Where to start? Calisthenics? Home exercise?
And what about diet to get bigger?
Sorry for bad English
| 2 |
Winning mindset making me toxic!
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Recently, I had conversation with my friend where I told him that I have a winning mindset in life, he said that it depends upon the situation and not everything in life is about winning. And I really thought about that which confused me a lot, like if it depends on a situation than is it really a winning mindset?
We usually play FIFA a lot, and everytime I lose or start to lose I become more frustrated than my friends which they then take advantage of during a game and I start to become morw frustrated. What should I do to stop it? How should I figured out that winning mindset does not apply to everything in life cause if it is not then I think its not a winning mindset at all.
| 1 |
I graduated from college with zero friends even though I tried hard to make some
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People say college is the easiest time to make friends. That statement kills me because if I couldn’t make friends or be accepted socially during this time, I would likely remain lonely throughout my whole life. I didn’t make any friends in high school either
And it is not like I didn’t try. I was lonely in high school, and I heard so many stories about how people turned things around in college. I tried hard to change my life. I joined clubs, talked to people in the dorms, went to sports games, went out often. I did my best I meet as many people as possible and in the end, I just get rejected and ignored.
Maybe it is because I am ugly. I don’t know. But the reality is that four years flew by and I already graduated. I wish someone could have told me what I did wrong, but even the people who rejected me refused to tell me. I went to a school known for having friendly people too, so it hurts me even more to get rejected in such an environment. It feels like I am just meant to be lonely and miserable.
| 2 |
How to I make life exciting again
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I’m 24 years old and feel that life has no purpose. I’m always bored and overthinking about past events. The only time I feel happy is when I’m drinking. I have a very good paying job, good friends. I honestly don’t know why I feel so empty inside and reminisce about the past. I feel like when I was in college life was always interesting and I was happy and talkative. Now I’m just quiet and always in my head. Any advice on how I can improve my life
| 2 |
I'm addicted to people
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I feel the need to talk to people all the time, I don't like spending time alone, I get so attached to people and even if they don't show me enough interest or care about me much, I would still give them my all and if we stopped talking for whatever reason, I never get over them even though everyone seems to get over me pretty quickly, this is has become a real devastating issue of mine that I don't know how to solve, please help me, I have people in my head all the time and I can't stop missing everyone that I lost and I feel so weak and so alone
| 14 |
I need to stop expecting myself to be perfect all the time and accept myself as I am, even with my flaws.
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I’m not happy with who I am but when I think about it I can’t even think about what would make me happy. I think I just have these high expectations and I expect myself to reach them in a day. I need to set some achievable goals of course to keep moving forward but also just be okay with progress being slow and stop being so hard on myself. Anyway that is it just going through a hard time, good luck to all of you ❤️
| 4 |
wanting friends but pulling away
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I (21F) pretty don’t really have friends, at least if i wanted to go out somewhere i don’t have anyone to go with if that makes sense. It can get lonely, but when I do start making online friends, as soon as they start talking to me as well or wanting to follow on social media I immediately feel uncomfortable and I want to pull back and go back to not having friends and being by myself. I know this is unhealthy so when people I make contact with lately have asked for my social media I follow them to combat this uncomfortable feeling, but is there anything I can do to stop this feeling or figure out why this is happening?
| 1 |
Stop craving attention from others, advice, and book recommendations
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Long story short, a week ago my partner of five years broke up with me right before I moved to a different city to attend graudate school. Distance was not the main factor of the breakup, as the city was only two hours away and our schedules aligned that we would see each other as much as we currently do. Anyways, being alone in a new city for the first time (I just moved out of my parent's) and now no longer having a significant other, I find that I constantly carve attention from others. I knew it was an issue before, but I didn't realize how many times during the relationship I would crave attention from other people besides my partner. I am a middle child and I know that is a lot where it stems from and I put a lot of burden on my ex-partner in fulfilling my craving. I now want to work on that part of me and I don't know where quite to start. I find reading books have helped a lot but I'm opened to any advice as well.
| 4 |
Death inspired me to lose weight
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This is my first long post.. I just want to preface with this before I tell the story: Thise of you who struggle with weight loss, I am with you and I love you all. Now to the story. So I (M27) was checking on an older friend (M57)in his apartment- I was with my mom (F65) to check on him. We went to check on him and he was a 500lb guy who didnt like going to the doctor. He was on the floor claiming his back hurt. He denied us to help him. We asked him if he needed medical attention but no, he didn't want any. So we left. An hour passes and we go checked on him again but he was unresponsive and cold. So we called 911, did chest compressions, the paramedics tried to revive him but nothing worked... time of death 11:42... This has taught me that even as a man, seek medical help. Before its too late. Even for weight-loss. Look into nutritionists and other medical professionals. And because of this- i lost 35 pounds from 400lbs.
| 69 |
I booked myself a solo vacation to an AirBnB in the forest!🌲Going to take some time to switch off and explore nature.
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This is a huge step for me. I’ve been wanting to do this for such a long time but have a lot of anxiety around booking trips and feeling like I don’t deserve to do things or spend money on myself.
| 17 |
I'm a 34 year old man, and I just bitch too much about what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Need some advice and encouragement.
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Hey guys, like the post says, I bitch too much. Anytime I'm doing some kind of physical labor, sitting through something boring, dying in video games, or hitting shitty golf shots I just bitch. If I'm by myself I'm just muttering obscenities to myself, but if I'm with friends it's usually loud. Now that I think about it's probably loud when I'm alone too... Anyways...
I was running a grueling cub scout fundraiser a few months ago and I was very cognizant of my behavior and I tried to make sure not to bitch at all in front of the other leaders volunteering or the kids. I feel like I did a great job and helped keep everyone motivated. There was one parent however, who had no such awareness and it really made me realize how off-putting my behavior must be to my friends.
I've really noticed the behavior in myself the past couple of days playing a new game with some friends. Every time I die everyone I'm playing with is well aware. So I'm looking at the scoreboard calculating my k/d and I'm thinking my friend (that's a bit of an attitude role model for me) must be kicking my ass because I haven't heard him die at all.
My k/d: 15/5
His k/d: 5/19
He didn't bitch a single time. He was just playing the game, getting his ass kicked, and shooting the shit with us. I know he was frustrated because of a couple of things he said, but if I were in the same situation I know I would've been too loud about it. It really made me want to be better about not vocalizing EVERY negative thought that comes into my head.
So do you guys have any advice for me? It feels so ingrained, and like it's truly a part of my personality that I may not be able to get rid of.
| 123 |
Multiple decisions and choices led me to this spot. I need helping some more to get out of it.
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Hello friends,
Hope you are well. I'm currently in a soup that can either seem thick or diluted depending on my level of depression and motivation.
My problems: health, wealth, wisdom, profession, sociality, romance, and recreation.
About me: 30M, weak willed, egoistic, with a lot of coping mechanisms and a history of victimhood instead of asking for help.
Health: I'm obese. I'm 150 kilograms heavy and a little shy of 6'. My parents have a history of cardiac and diabetic issues, which I've not had till now. However, due to bad posture, I have been diagnosed with onset diabetes. I try to workout but not hard enough. I lack consistency and feel a lot of shame in moments like now where I'm not excusing myself and bullshitting.
Wealth: I'm kinda broke. Currently not working, afraid of spending money on upskilling and in general. While it is a mitigation against overspending and living lavishly, it is also a massive lack of judgement that gets honed everyday. Anyway, I have a little bit of money to my name, which wouldn't last 6 months if I was completely on my own. Working on finding a job again.
Wisdom: I've been a sheltered child with a long history of bullying and domestic abuse so I retreated into a shell at a very early age. I've used this as an excuse not to leave my mom, my only support, and the comfort of my home. I used to be well read, but I'm not anymore. I do not have the patience for books, but I really wish I did. I was occupied and happier.
Profession: I've not worked in almost a year because I gave up on life and am now unemployable. I've been trying to study things on YouTube but I have concentration issues. I try harder for this but I fail so much it is disheartening. Makes me want to end things because I used to be straight a As student. People don't want to associate with me anymore.
Sociality: I can't make small talk, I don't have street smarts, I can't even be interesting. I can talk when there's a purpose involved. However, there are times when I overstay my welcome and want to learn how not to do that. There's also a misguided sense of entitlement somewhere but I'm unable to follow it to the source.
Romance: In a world where being a poor, obese man, is punishing at best and dangerous at worst, I'm scared of getting involved in romance. For now, I'd be happy just talking to someone because I need all the help I can to get to a better place. My dating pool will shrink by more than half after I get better because I do not want children, I want to sponsor orphans.
Recreation: I am terrible at small talk, smoke and drink only when there's like minded company in safe places (is illegal where I am from). I can't do anything fun on my own, can't recommend places to go to, can suggest fun activities for my friends, and while this is a case of probably being in the wrong circle/region, I need a job to move away. Until then, please include what I can do locally in your suggestions.
This is my story for now. I'm looking for help on these from anyone who can or will. I want to get better. I want a drive, a purpose. I want to be a functioning person people I care about are happy to be associated with. Or a better sense of friends. Anything.
| 1 |
What is your top tip for overcoming Imposter Syndrome?
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I often feel like I'm not qualified enough or that I don't deserve my job. It's affecting my confidence and productivity. How do you overcome these feelings and boost your self-esteem in the workplace? Any tips or personal experiences are appreciated.
| 14 |
I need to prevent further hearing damage
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Last six years, play the music on full audio on my headphones almost every night for hours at a time. This needs to stop! I have probably fucked my hearing irreversibly, but this is a habit that needs to die. I will do what I can to not prevent further damage. It is not the usual self-improvement tactic but I think I'll be cursing myself, yet also thanking myself when I'm 60. 🤍
| 7 |
How do I give love more freely? It sucks being on guard all the time.
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I’m not a bubbly person. I’m naturally suspicious and high-strung, and so it’s extremely hard for me to trust others. However, I’m sincere and friendly. But I’m very selective with even my ‘niceness’. I’m constantly evaluating if someone’s worthy of my generosity or intimacy. I just want to be kind without expectations or second thoughts. It’s a struggle because I still do this even in my friendships, with people that I’ve supposedly let my guard down around. Example: I hesitate to even buy someone a small gift for their birthday until they’ve ‘proven’ to me that they’re a good person, whatever that is. It takes me years to feel invested in someone that way. I take it extremely seriously. By whatever metrics I deem satisfying.
I want love to flow through me but it’s a struggle.
| 8 |
Food and diet problems
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So I’ve been trying to get my shit together and one thing that I really want to work on is my diet. I don’t have a great diet. I am addicted to eating junk food (pastas, burgers and stuff in India is considered junk. It might be staple food in other places- I’m unsure).
This has been causing me a lot of stomach problems. Very very frequent bloating and gas. And when I do eat healthy food like rice or anything my mother prepares, I eat very little. Idk why but I just eat little. And that adds to the gas and stuff
Can someone please help me in tackling this aspect of my life? I start my first year of uni in about a month and I really want to get my diet right. I don’t have access to a kitchen there but I don’t want to end up eating junk at a cafe there too. Please help if you can
| 3 |
I sleep all day and miss work and other activities as a result
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I tend to sleep all day and don't jump out of bed when my eyes open in between and I glance at the time. I seem to have no sense of urgency or responsibility towards my job or my commitments otherwise (eg, tennis lessons I've booked, friends I've promised to meet). This impacts things like timely cooking and eating of meals, taking medication on time and doing daily chores like watering plants. I do have a history of diagnosed depression and anxiety. This is now getting to a point where it's all embarrassing and leaves me angry at myself in the hours when I am awake, as self assurances at doing better the next day go nowhere.
| 5 |
I just ended a friendship and I feel horrible.
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We’re both 20F and we were friends since we were 12. She’s the sweetest person that I met, but it wasn’t really healthy for me, because I’m struggling a lot mentally, and I feel like I’m just a burden to her, because I would sometimes trauma dump on her, although she would tell me it’s okay. The thing about it, we both are struggling mentally rn, and the friendship wasn’t healthy on my part, as even though we didn’t really talk, I would get really anxious about texting back quickly and like making sure she was okay, even though she wouldn’t do the same with me.
Plus, I feel like I was a bad friend to her in high school, along with being bad to the other friends we had, as I was a very angry teen and I would sometimes take it on them, but when one of them told me about myself, I started going to therapy and working on myself, and in turn, I don’t talk to anyone in the friend group really, because I realize that a part of me was angry at the fact that they weren’t getting bullied or they had better lives and whatnot, and I realize that it’s a me issue, but I also realized that keeping her in my life would still bring up old feelings, and that’s not good. I don’t want her feeling bad over something that she can’t fix, and only I can, and it just isn’t fair on the friendship. Or her or me.
I shouldn’t have to feel envious because of I healed trauma that I’m working on, and she shouldn’t be a victim of that. And to be fair, I love her to bits, but I realized a long time ago that this friendship wasn’t going to last because of the fact that we want different things, and we have different friend groups that I know that I wouldn’t get along with.
But it still hurts because this was my first, real long lasting friendship that I’ve ever had, and a part of me is still very fixated on the friendship we used to have, and it’s a hard pill to swallow that she doesn’t know me now and vise versa. I just have so many regrets about how I treated her and and even if she says that she doesn’t remember and it’s okay, it’s still not healthy for me to obsess over a part of my life like this.
I feel like I’m being greedy by ending the friendship, but my therapist says that if I feel like it might work on further healing myself, then it’s worth a shot, but it still feels greedy and I feel guilty. Did I make the right choice?
Edit: I also started therapy because I felt like I trauma dumped to much, and I don’t do it anymore, because I am healing from family trauma, but a tl;dr is that I just felt like the emotions that resurfaced for me when we do talk weren’t healthy so I ended things and I feel greedy and guilty because of it.
| 5 |
You do NOT have ADHD just because your phone distracts you
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So, as someone who actually has ADHD, and regularly sees posts like "I think I have given myself ADHD by using my phone too much", that is impossible. Also, just the fact using your phone and scrolling through TikTook is more exciting than doing your homework ALSO does not mean you have ADHD.
Having ADHD is not having a lack of attention or willpower. It is the inability to focus your attention. It also has way more symptoms than this particular one.
Actually, you can have excessive amounts of attention with ADHD; that's called a hyperfocus. You can not control if and when that happens though. But when it happens, I get so caught up in a particular topic that after three days, I could write a book about it.
Other ADHD symptoms include rejection sensitivity to criticism (after having been told "you are so smart and could do so much better" all our life), clumsiness, emotional dysregulation, the constant need for stimulation, sensitivity to sensory overload, really bad working memory, forgetting everything and everyone out of sight, often hyperacusis and a lot of things I probably forgot about.
On the upside (for me personally) they include being able to relate to kids very well, being a constant idea generator, being very creative, quick understanding, being excellent in emergy situations, always needing to be stimulated when I was a child and smart phones etc. did not yet exist, so I read a book a day.
It is a lot more complex and varied than being distracted by your phone.
| 326 |
I need advice on quitting looking at porn, any sort of addiction advice is welcome
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So first and foremost, I rly dgaf if you think porn is great, it’s rly hindering my ability to form real, meaningful relationships with women, and honestly if you’re in the same boat I’d rly like to hear from you.
I’m currently 23, and I found porn at the age of like 10 or 11. Since, I’ve been consuming it semi-daily occasionally multiple times a day and I never thought it would impact my life like this. I never really realized I objectify women as much as I do but now I’m in the beginning phases of another relationship (where they all fail for me) and all I can think ab is wanting to have sex w her. We’ve met once.
I’ve downloaded a porn blocking app that parents get for their kids so I don’t think I can even google boobs and have anything come up. I’m not seeking advice on that step, but rather what do y’all do when the urges come? How do people cope with not having satisfied their urges (be that porn, drugs, gambling, whatever it is you overcame) after a few days of being “sober”? All help is much appreciated and I’m rly happy I stumbled on the sub Reddit
Edit : I’m at work rn so I don’t have much time to respond to everyone, but I’m reading and noting down everything that I can
| 179 |
How do i stop expecting anything from anyone?
|
For a long time I've been struggling with me helping others, being there when needed, worrying about them and trying to give what they want/need. Sadly, even tho i know i should not expect snything back, i do. Sometimes i myself feel so alone, like nobody cares at all about me, and feel like, "ive been there for them, maybe they will be here now for me" and i always end up in disappointment. After a day or two i just bury it down and go back to being myself.
How do I stop myself expecting anything at all. If i have a need to talk one on one. How to force myself to be happy talking in a group. If i need to spend time one on one to be happy that im just a background in a group. Being in groups is ok for me usually. But sometimes sadly i have a need to just be one on one. To just be myself without all those masks. How do I stop that.
| 3 |
Hey guys! I've decided to take control of my life and make positive changes. Can anyone share their experiences on how they turned their life around?
|
Hey everyone! I've been feeling really down lately and I've realized that I want to become a better version of myself. I've been struggling with self-doubt, lack of motivation, and feeling stuck in a rut. But I've finally made the decision to take charge of my life and make positive changes.
I've started exercising regularly, practicing self-care, and setting achievable goals. I want to surround myself with positivity and find joy in the little things. I'm also considering therapy as a way to work through some past traumas and gain a better understanding of myself.
I know that everyone's journey is unique, so I would love to hear from you guys. Have any of you been in a similar situation? How did you turn your life around? What strategies or habits helped you become a better version of yourself? Any advice or personal stories would be greatly appreciated!
Please remember to keep the discussion respectful and in line with the rules of the subreddit. Let's support each other in our journeys of self-improvement. Thank you in advance for sharing your insights and experiences!
| 3 |
you know what? i’m fucking TIRED of being insecure.
|
straight up.
i’m sick of letting people decide my worth for me.. therefore.. never doing anything to make myself feel any better.
it’s fucking exhausting.
i’m at the point where i’m so tired of my partner and everyone else that i want to actually do something about it now.
| 8 |
How do I shift my ability to be productive at night time, to the day?
|
For some reason I'm very productive at night and I can think a lot clearer. I don't like this because sometimes I end up going to sleep too late.
In saying that, I have tried getting up earlier and going to sleep earlier for a few weeks and that doesn't change anything. I still feel most productive at night but I want to change this so I can sleep at night
| 4 |
Question about Pomodoro
|
So here it is guys. I just want to ask what should I do in this situation. I want to use the Pomodoro technique in my study of drawing tho here at my place, sometimes the break the Pomodoro technique give is small compared to the time doing the chores here at my place.
My question is what should I do when for example I am at break and the break time in Pomodoro and my guardian called me to do something and it became long than the intended break, should I add more minutes to my time in learning or should I proceed and don't mind the time I spend doing chores?
| 1 |
I want to stop my 20 year nail biting addiction
|
I am 22, and have been biting my nails excessively ever since I was a toddler.
I tried several ways to stop, I used a nail biting polish that has very bitter taste and odor. It was a temporary fix, but that didn't help.
I noticed that especially after lockdown in covid I bite my nails very VERY often.
I want to stop this once and for all.
| 1 |
How to build ambition
|
I don’t have any goals further out than 1-2 months (and even then it’s just to get a job). I say I want to start taking classes but I have no idea on how to pick a degree that would lead to getting a good job.
I will probably work retail for the rest of my life tbh because I don’t think (and really can’t with my present attitude) I can do the work required to get the degree.
I don’t even know how people have goals they work towards because i have never set a goal that I actually care about
I want to build good qualities so I can find a partner not because of me because I don’t see how integrity honesty etc will benefit my life
| 7 |
I keep finding evidence that I'm a toxic narcissist
|
I ended a relationship and I keep questioning whether I was the bad person who gaslighted him or whether I was in the right.
I keep googling things and reading about narcissism, and there are always things I see in myself. I also have social anxiety, and in the spiritual world, there is a lot of talk about how social anxiety is related to having a big ego..
Anyway, I guess I have some form of toxic shame, it's like I am looking for clues that I am a Narcissist, that I have ulterior motives, that deep down, I am just bad.
I really want to get better. But I don't know what it is I need to fix.
People say that narcissists should carr more about other people, but it feels fake to use other people as a way to "charitably" make myself feel better. I want to get out of my head but I feel like I need to fix something deep in my soul, so that I finally feel like I deserve to feel good.
I hate feeling so guilty, but I can't pinpoint what I feel guilty about. I just feel like I'm all wrong.
I want peoples approval all the time that I'm not bad..
| 12 |
I Don’t Care if I Die But I Want to
|
I’m not sure if that makes sense; I’ll explain:
I (29f) have struggled with my weight and mental health since I was a little kid. I’m 5’7 and have gone up and down the scale from 235-335 several times; I’m currently in the 320’s. I have been experiencing health concerns lately that have prompted two different doctors to recommend an ECT, which I haven’t done yet.
My current weight has destroyed any quality of life I’ve had. I went to treatment in 2016 and had major success with my mental and physical health, but when my best friend died and some other things happened I gained 100 pounds and deteriorated mentally. I live in constant filth of mostly my own doing, never engage in my old hobbies, and feel too ugly and damaged to date or feel good about myself. Even beyond my weight, I find myself entirely disgusting. I can’t even look in a mirror without zoning in on my flaws and pining for cosmetic surgery. I’ve tried several times over the last few years to get professional help for my weight (bariatric surgery/medication) but have been rejected so many times I don’t see the point in continuing that path. On top of that, I’m underemployed and can’t find a better job, causing constant financial stress and growing debt.
I should get the ECT, but I don’t think it matters. I think at this point I would be more looking forward to the worst case scenario just to know that my life would have an end date. I’m not actively suicidal, I’m just ready to die.
But I don’t want to be this way. I know there could be more to my life than this and that effort could change everything for the better, but I don’t love myself enough to stick with any real efforts. I’m in therapy already, just to get that out there.
How do you get yourself to care enough about yourself to decide to be better? I want to want more for myself.
| 2 |
I'm not a good person. How can I change?
|
I'm a really bad person in fact. I just really hate my personality and who I am. No matter how many good things I do on the outside, I'm still the same worthless shit stain on the inside. My true personality is rude, angry, judgmental, selfish, arrogant, jealous, immature, entitled, brash, annoying and really fucking unlikable. I hate the way I think and act. When I try to go against it and change however, I feel fake and like I'm lying to people to get them to like me. I envy the people who are pleasant, likable, and nice to be around. I don't think I naturally have any good qualities whatsoever. The ones I do sometimes exhibit are just a facade. They say you should always be yourself and it's better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you're not. I don't agree. I know if I were to be my true self it would alienate everyone around me. I would get into arguments all the time. I would have no friends and be all alone. I feel like I have to put on this fake charade of being friendly, pleasant, affable, and charismatic so I don't cause any friction in my social interactions. It's shitty, but it's the only way I've been able to have a functional social life. I wish I was anyone but myself. I wish I could have been born with a different temperament and personality. I can't even stand being alone with my own thoughts because of my unlikable personality. I scrutinize everything I do. I feel bad when people are nice to me and say they like me, because I know if they knew how ugly of a person I really am on the inside, the relationship I had with them would disintegrate and they would flee immediately. What should I do? Thanks for reading.
| 3 |
How can I stop feeling like a failure at 25?
|
I'm currently a 24M (soon to be 25), and I feel like an absolute failure in life.
Just for some context, I've spent the past 6 years of my life focusing almost solely on working and going to community college, which recently paid off since I've finally gotten an Associates Degree in IT. But other then that, I feel pretty bad about my everything else in my life.
I haven't taken the time to focus on developing myself nor my identity. I haven't taken the time to build new friendships or relationships. I haven't fulfilled any of my dreams. And I've wasted many opportunities in my life. All while watching as my peers in life do all these things while I feel like I'm playing catchup in life.
This has gotten so bad that many days I just lay in bed doing nothing while feeling sorry for myself and thinking there is no way for me to turn my life around. And Recently it's gotten rather bad. I have days where I don't even want to get out of bed because I feel like my life is so empty and without purpose.
Thankfully, my dad has set me up with a counselor to talk to about my mental health issues (first appointment should be next week). I am hoping that I can figure out alot of issues with the counselor and hopefully turn my life around.
I realize this subreddit isn't supposed to be a place to talk about my depression. But I genuinely want to change and get myself out of this low place. I figured I'd come here and ask yall for additional advice, along with me seeing a therapist. I don't want to feel like a failure in life, and I genuinely want to be able to enjoy my life again.
Sorry for the short post, I was a bit busy today doing some errands. Also, sorry for grammar mistakes, I'm on mobile.
| 9 |
Health anxiety while unwell
|
Hey,
I'm at a sticky point where I'm trying to find the balance between self compassion but not fuelling my own health anxiety.
Basically, I have a really bad case of mono/glandular fever. It started 2 months ago, I was hospitalised for 3 weeks over it. The symptoms have ranged from palpitations, brain fog, extreme fatigue, headaches. I haven't worked in 2 months and my life has turned upside down. I used to be at the gym 4x week and hiking 1x week. Now I have to rest after I cook dinner.
I was quite a mindful person before this all happened. I have noticed now that I am starting to spiral so much. I never had health anxiety but now its horrible. Telling myself I will "develop M.E/CFS. My symptoms will never go away. I will never get my life back. I will have post-viral issues for months/years. I am never going to recover. My health is ruined".
It's difficult because at one side, the symptoms are horrible and debilitating so I try to hold compassion for myself. I'm speaking to myself like shit and feeling so guilty because I have to rest. Then the other hand is the spiralling health anxiety.
I have no idea how to get out of this mental turmoil. I'm limited in what I can do because of my fatigue. I can't spend a lot of time with friends because of my fatigue. I watch movies sometimes when I am up to it and can concentrate. It's a lot of time by myself and a lot of time to overthink.
Thanks so much for reading 🤍🫂
| 1 |
I fluchen all my snus down the Toilette, I'm done with nicotine
|
I took too much snus, like 7 to ten a Day and I'm done. I got my ADHD diagnosis and my therapist said I was self Medicating with nicotine since I started smoking when I was 14. I'm 20 now, tomorrow I'm going to Take my meds. It will be horrible but I'm going to survive the withdrawal symptoms, I dont wann to look back and quit for Real this time.
I want to live a good, healthy Life. I dont wamt to World if I have my cigs or enough snus with me, or be out of breath while running for a short distance.
I Just wanted to share this...
| 5 |
I want to stop feeling like I’m behind
|
I first started to feel like I’m behind in life in 2020. I was 22 and I missed out on a lot of things that I should’ve accomplished at that point and I went through a state of depression. I didn’t have my own place, friends, a job, driver’s license and a college degree. This year I’m working on getting my license, I have a few friends and I have a job but it still isn’t enough.
I want to stop feeling like I’m behind in life because it’s not helping my mental health. I tried to use video games but I can’t play them without constantly thinking that I could be doing something better with my life and the same goes for when I go to places like a movie theater. I also find it hard to not be jealous of other people’s accomplishments. It’s also hard for me to be happy for them.
Most of the people that I talked to in real life about this think I have a lot of time and that I shouldn’t be stressed and depressed about this at the age of 25 but I am especially when it gets close to my birthday which is next month. I’m tired of feeling behind and that I’m running out of time because I’m getting close to 30.
| 3 |
My therapist told me that I need to work on myself, and that it takes time and it needs to be done step by step, little by little
|
I feel like I’m behind, way too behind for someone my age. I’m a woman and will be 40 in a few years.
I have zero confidence in myself. I don’t love myself. I don’t hate myself, it’s not about hate, it’s about a lack of love and a genuine sense of self worth.
I know many people are actually insecure, but most will try to fake it, most people actually pretend to be doing alright and will try their best to hide their true colors. Well, I don’t even do that. I’m probably seen as a people pleaser and insecure, but that’s not really the core of my issues? I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t want to cause any discomfort because > I < hate feeling uncomfortable and I certainly do not want to cause the same to another human being. Honestly I just wish I could hide from the world. I’m tired. I want to take a break from myself. Maybe I’m lazy or maybe it’s because I can’t even comprehend what I should start doing to improve myself.
I think I got lost in my words. Are you like me? What did you do to improve yourself?
I’m not in this position because I think I’m a bad person. I’m a decent person.
| 93 |
Learning to make phone calls
|
I'm 27, autistic, and have been unable to make "official" phone calls my whole life (I can call my mom and close friends (Though it's not my favored communication at all), but school, doctor, e.t.c. is a no go), usually opting for calling my mom to call in an make arrangements for me. Don't know what changed this past year specifically, but I decided enough was enough because I realize I was ignoring health concerns because I couldn't call in myself.
So far I've made probably 10-15 phone calls. I always need to gear myself up for it, literally setting an alarm to remind me to make the phone call in 30 minutes, then 10, then 5 to prepare myself and I still struggle accepting incoming phone calls, and gets caught off so much if I'm asked a question during the call about something I didn't prepare for, but it's getting easier
| 25 |
no contact with a sibling?
|
I (21F) have a younger sibling who quite frankly is a bully and has been for like 2-3 years (they’re a new adult now). It’s at the point where I’m just going to separate until/if they stop bc I’ve had enough. Am I going overboard with this? How should I respond?
| 1 |
How Do I Talk About Myself?
|
So i should clarify that i am very much introverted ill be in a group with people and not say a word at all although with time I am starting to realize its mostly because i don't know how to talk about myself at all, it stems from a lot of things one of them is thinking people don't care so unconsciously i forget a lot of things that i could possibly mention. I'm pretty sure another aspect is my self esteem? idk if I'm that confident in myself hence why i always assume people don't care about what I have to say or about me in general and the last reason i can think of is i simply have no idea how to talk about myself, I'm not very good at sharing my thoughts or interests with people not to mention I feel like my entire personality is that I'm a lesbian so if i were to say i like to read i wouldn't be able to do that cause the follow up question would be what books I like to read and i could be vague and only mention a genre but usually people ask the name of the book same thing with shows and movies and music even its all very queen all my media consumption is queer and now is a good time to mention I'm closeted cause i live in a very homophobic city. So i want to be more social and I want to be able to talk about myself but I have no idea how to do it honestly.
| 2 |
I'm lost, self-sabotaging despite not having good reason for it
|
How do you explain total lack of motivation, self-sabotaging, isolating from people despite not going through any trauma that could justify such a reaction? I've spiraled in a snowball effect and I thought I was getting better, but the last 2 months I have gotten back to step 0 and I don't have a good explanation of why. I'm just constantly browsing the internet on my phone wasting time, whereas I should be studying. I haven't taken any exams because I haven't been studying. The topics would also be interesting, so it's not even that I don't enjoy the subjects. My attention span and ability to memorise stuff has declined. I don't even feel anxiety anymore, it's like I stopped caring about my goals.
I feel alone and stuck in a horizon of nothingness and there is nobody to blame except me. I want to reach out to my friends but I don't know how to explain it to them because I don't even know how to explain it to myself. It would be good to socialise but I don't want to meet them because they will ask what I have been doing/updates on my life (as friends would normally do) and I don't know what I should say. They are doing great in life and I'm just so ashamed of myself that I'm delaying confrontation. There are people (including some that I know) who have been through so much trouble yet they push through, while I've been lucky and privileged so I should be fine but no, I make up problems without any reason and trap myself inside them. Like, surrounded by good people, good family, yet I turn out like this. I know I'm behaving in a childish way by avoiding my adult responsibilities and this is a slap in the face to people who face real problems.
Has anyone else experienced this and if yes how did you get better? I want to get back on the right track in my life, I want to be confident again being around my friends. I want to go back being the optimistic person I was.
TL;DR: I'm experiencing total lack of motivation, self-sabotaging, isolating from people despite not going through any trauma that could justify such a reaction. Looking for advice on how to get back on track.
| 12 |
How do I manifest my true self and feel connected to reality?
|
I've been very absorbed on my thoughts and worries, I'm very controlled and often worried about what I don't have. I want to feel like I'm here, not only on my mind and want to improve my self-esteem.
What could I do?
| 4 |
How to not care in Life?
|
21M, in College.
How to not care (overthink) in Life? I overthink a lot on stuff surrounding me. All my friends from college are literally chill about life. They are so happy in their life -- if their grades drop; they just study to get better in the next exam, if their favorite company rejects them; they shake it off their shoulders and start applying for another. Some of my friends are also so chill about exams, be it 2 weeks or 2 days to cover a syllabus, they end up doing it optimistically.
I on the other hand overthink a lot. For egs, if I have only 2 days to cover a weeks portion for an exam, I end up spending a day overthinking and messing up my revision, whereas all my friends end up studying completely (because they don't overthink or freak out).
This is really taking a toll on my mental health because I end up thinking every outcome pessimistically. I lose all motivations for my exams, applications, internships even before applying for it because of this.
What can I do to improve my life?
| 3 |
Wellness tracking apps
|
Hey guys, thinking of tracking wellness metrics such as sleep water intake etc to a dashboard/app to monitor progress. The main tools I have found are Exist.io, Gyrosco.pe, and conjure.so. For those of you who have tried them I would love to know what are the pros and cons with each one? Or if you have any better ones any help is greatly appreciated!
| 3 |
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