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I feel so stuck and I dont know what to do
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First off i just wanna say that i dont use reddit much but i dont know who else to turn to. im not sure if this is the right place to post this.
Ever since i was young i remember being terrified to talk and i would get nervous every day before i would go to school, but i would go anyways. it got really bad in middle school, i got a boyfriend and started skipping most days but the feeling didnt go away. i would get a pit in my stomach every time i would get on the bus or knock on a door or break a silence, but it wasnt THAT bad. im still mot sure if this was normal but it wasnt bad enough to really be a concern it was just kinda annoying.
by the end of middle school i had probably skipped months worth of classes. i had some really embarrassing things happen and just couldnt work up the courage to go back, and my mom wouldnt let me transfer.
going into highschool i went into foster care, i attended 3 days of the 9th grade before i stopped going completely. my foster parents put me into a section classroom (there were 8 students) and it was bearable but i would constantly overthink ‘am i breathing too loud? am i breathing too fast? they can smell your breakfast. they see you look nervous’ stuff like that. i continued going but hardly got anything done cos i was too focused on acting normal.
then i stopped going outside all together. it keeps getting worse tho. i avoid seeing people and going outside so much that it kinda scares me. im turning 18 soon and aging out and i know this isn’t sustainable but every time i try to figure out what to do my first solution is to end myself and i get fixated on doing that rather than finding a solution.
does anybody know what might be wrong with me and what kind of help i need?
| 2 |
Why am I so irritated?
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I have no reason to be irritated with my girlfriend. She’s lovely and I love her.
This past week I’ve found myself being irritated with her with no reason. I’m autistic so I thought maybe I’ve been overstimulated as sometimes that makes me feel very irritated. The more I thought about it, the more I got confused. Why would I feel the need to upset her? I’ve gotten this way before with friends and I don’t know why I want to say things to upset them. But I do.
I care so much for these people and I don’t know what I’m seeking when I feel this way. Is it wanting attention?
Does anyone ever feel this way?
| 2 |
I cut myself and now my girlfriend is so mad she wants to leave me.
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I (20 M) and my girlfriend (19 F) have been dating for nearly 16 months. We have gotten a place together, and she is the love of my life. However, I struggle with mental illnesses such as PTSD, anxiety, and depression. Recently, I have gotten this job that is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than my previous. That being accompanied by my girlfriend not making me feel very welcome or wanted around her recently, my stress has been very high. So last night, in the shower, to ease some stress, I cut myself. Not deep enough to do any damage, just enough to feel it. When she got home and found out, it took hours of pleading and tears to get her to not leave and to try and give our relationship time. She kept saying how bad she wanted to leave and how I hurt her and how she doesn't think she can forgive me. It took hours of me saying how sorry I am to convince her just to stay and give it some time. She let me sleep in the bed tonight, but I am too stressed and sad to sleep. I just want her to forgive me so I can hold her hand and take her out on a date. I love her with all of my heart, and I really don't want to lose her. If I lose her, I lose the apartment, and not only will I not have the girl I love, but I won't have a place to stay, either. Please, if anyone has advice, I'd really appreciate it.
| 1 |
mental health/abuse
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i’m not sure what to do with my mental health, it’s gotten really bad. let me explain. when i was 6 my father passed away from an accidental overdose on opioids. i remember i was at school and he was supposed to pick me up but he never did, a couple hours later my mom did and asked if i ever saw my dad and i said no she found this weird and blew up his phone with attempted to get an answer, all her calls went to voicemail and all her texts were left unseen. that very same day my mom was in the car driving and she get a a call saying “your husband passed away, please drive carefully.” this made my mom turn around and go straight back home. I still had no idea of his passing, until a couple weeks after that when my uncle took me to a park and in the car ride back home he got a call saying “sorry for your loss,” i asked him who and he replayed with “your dad.” i bursted out crying wondering what he meant, he further explained, i cried my heart out. A couple years later my mom got a boyfriend, he would hit my everyday and verbally abuse me, but since i was only 8 i didn’t know that it was wrong, so i never told my mom. fast forward to last year my best friend attempted suicide, thankfully she’s still here, but that wasn’t all that was going on, my friend got sexually assaulted, and i had the cops talk to me about what i know from what she’s told me, this cuased them to come to my house at absurd times for example they have to my house at 3 am, and asked me about my friend who went through that, and unfortunately that was the same night my best friend attempted suicide. this caused me to go into a depressive episode. i eventually got a therapist but it didn’t work, so soon after i got a psychiatrist who prescribed medication, none of it worked, ever. about a month after that, i was sexually assaulted. that was so very traumatic for me, and it made everything 10x worse, all my grades dropped, i stopped responding to people, i started being very easily annoyed/angry. i started becoming very aggressive ( never towards anyone). except i found myself yelling a lot more. i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder. i started self-harming a lot. november i attempted suicide twice, i told my psychiatrist, and i had to be hospitalized, i was put on a 51/50. after the hospitalization i was put in a program it was a partial hospitalization program. none of that worked if anything it made it worse. i was out of school for about a month, when i went back to school they demanded me to do all the wired i was supposed to do at my time in the hospital, i felt horrible i felt like they cared more about my education rather than my well being. i can do the work later but tell me. tell me how i’m supposed to do it if i’m dead. after that i got a 504 plan, but the staff seems to be annoyed at it. all this has made me feel like i’m being strangled, i’m screaming and yelling to be helped, for someone to understand but all they do is say they do understand and then prioritize my education over my life. this has made it obvious that to me at least no one in my life cares about me as a person. this has made me still feel to better than my worse, still suffering from self harm and suicidal thoughts with what feels like no support. sorry for the rant.
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Hey, just a gentle reminder to not be hard on yourself! You are not wrong for being you. 🌷💌
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5 Things To Be Grateful For
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A Wisdom Story
Andre thought about it. All he had been focusing on for the past 3 weeks was Selena. Everything that had gone wrong with her, and every plan of his had fallen apart. It had been a cloud of dread and gloom. He forced himself to think of something remotely happy…Continue reading on humanwisdom.me
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I don’t know how I (27f) can help my depressed brother (20M)
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So my young brother has been dealing with depression for a few years now, I think. He was diagnosed recently but I guess it’s been going for a while. He is getting more and more aggressive with my parents, every little thing makes him really really angry and irritated, it seems like he doesn’t know how to control his emotions and that makes me worry. He started taking antidepressants but stopped because he “didn’t like them” and I think he believes he doesn’t need them. He has a therapist but it seems like he hides lots of things from him. He is pretty lonely and doesn’t have many friends, never had a romantic relationship and is very antissocial. I don’t know how I can help him. I’ve tried to talk to him a few times, told him he can always talk to me when he feels like, but he’s very closed. He only complains about how annoying our parents are. He thinks his life is meaningless and I don’t know what to do. Can someone give me advice, please?
| 4 |
How do I support my sister who overdosed today.
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It was only a few hours ago. She didn't even say anything anywhere. She didn't even hint at anything. She will live but shes in the hospital at this time and its not looking great. It's almost identical to my first attempt. Same age (15) same circumstances, same pills. Please see how much this hurts people. You won't be at peace. It'll be nothing. You'll be gone. Nothing at all. As someone who has been disabled and tried 5 times in the most violent ways. It's not worth it. I've almost been on the other side. Your whole family will be broken. They will notice. She was even on the project for teens team today. She was teaching middle schoolers that it's not okay it won't make anything better. Your whole family will feel the pain you did. Everything and more. I know. Please trust me. I never thought I'd make it to this point of my life. I'm 18 almost 19. Just focus on making it out. If you keep telling yourself on a record how bad life seems it will be. Give yourself something to live for. Reach out to your loved ones. There is help.
I'm just at a loss right now. My mom is furious with her and I get it. She screamed at me when I attempted. But I get it. She tried to leave without leaving anything. No note no texts no posts.
I know not respond with anger though. It's fine to be angry but don't let them see it.
How do I support and talk to her without encouraging this kind of thing? How can I be there more for her? I don't want her to see this as a good thing, or something that will get her unneeded attention. I probably won't be able to see or talk to her for a few weeks.
Please even feel free to text me if you need support. From someone who's been there all my life.
| 3 |
Wisdom Is.. To know the difference between failing and never trying.
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When you believe in yourself, you can face your fear and get going. If you never try, you will live with not knowing what may have happened if you had been fearless.
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Is it possible to be a victim of SA and not remember it?
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I've had problems with my sexuality for as long as I can remember and I can't understand why. When I was entering puberty I started trying to masturbate and it just wasn't working, no matter how many times I tried it. I wouldn't be able to get aroused or feel any physical sensation up until I actually had sex for the first time.
Before that happened, towards the end of high school I tried hooking up with several guys, but it would never get past the point of making out - I would always get distracted after a few seconds and start grossing myself out by visualizing what our mouths were doing or it would just feel wrong.
After I graduated high school I had my first boyfriend. Our sexual relationship progressed with the romantic one as we tried different things. First it was spooning (but spicy), then he was eating me out, but it still never felt right and I was just kind of feeling awkward or uncomfortable, maybe even ashamed or exposed (even though I was attracted to him).
One time he was being kind of persistent and kind of tried to put it in without my permission and I immediately stormed off, feeling violated. We talked about it and he instantly apologized and after that nothing like it ever happened again.
The first time we had sex, I initiated it and it didn't hurt at all, I didn't bleed but I also didn't feel any physical pleasure. By that point I already knew what an orgasm felt like, I had experienced it many times during oral or just by myself. I just didn't enjoy penetration.
I cried after my first time but I didn't know why.
After that, many times whenever we would have sex I would feel either discomfort, pain or I would zone out immediately after penetration even if I was very aroused up until that point. I would try to force myself to push through it out of guilt that he wouldn't enjoy having sex with me otherwise, but I would always end up feeling like I was being assaulted and crying and we would stop and he would calm me down.
He asked me many times if I had been a victim of SA in the past and told me that anytime things would start going towards penetration during sex he would see the look in my eyes immediately shift from arousal to fear. He described the feeling as if my vagina literally closed up and wouldn't let him in.
I've never really liked people getting in my personal space and a year after we've broken up, I still have the same problem and it might even be getting worse. I feel like just thinking about someone sexually immediately makes me anxious.
I haven't had a lot of men surrounding me in my childhood but being raped has always been my biggest fear, to the point that I remember staying up at night being scared someone might break in and rape me (as a child or pre-teen).
TLDR; I'm scared of penetration during sex for no apparent reason and the overall idea of being sexual with someone either grosses me out or gives me anxiety. That, along with my intuition and some other factors, makes me question if it's possible I've been a victim of SA but don't remember it.
| 4 |
Hi I need advice
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Throw away sorry. I’m 26f. I think I’m entering into psychosis but I’m not sure. I keep hearing my name being called whispered (especially when the tv is on), I keep seeing shadow people with glowing eyes out of the corner of my eye, or like in front of me but disappear quickly if I look at them, sometimes I’ll see something behind me in the mirror quickly, sometimes I’ll see this misty red and brown figure that pops up, I feel anxious and paranoid a lot, I’ll see little beings in my apartment that hang out, sometimes ilk see things in my phone too like if I’m scrolling quickly I’ll see something with glowing eyes. I tried looking at symptoms for this online but I didn’t find an exact match. Sometimes I’ll see little glowing gold things. Thank you if you read this.
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I don't know why I act like this please help
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I always get very upset over small inconveniences, to the point of sometimes having mental breakdowns, but actual problems don't get to me though. If anyone knows if this is a sign of anything please let me know.
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What do you think about it? Pls comment.
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Question your opinion before you voice them.
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I am certain I have ASPD and I am going to hurt someone.
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The title is self-explanatory.
I was neglected and emotionally abused as a child. My parents were around, and still are, but they didn't ever acknowledge me, seemingly only ever having time for my siblings. I've displayed symptoms of antisocial personality disorder since I was around 12. (I am now 19, female) Around age 9 I discovered shock sites and I became addicted. For years I'd watch hours upon hours of murder, suicide, torture, basically anything and everything. When I was bored, I'd introduce my friends online to a "friend" of mine, which was obviously just me on a different account. I guess they believed me though. I'd lie and convince them to trust the "friend" with secrets, I'd become best friends with them and even create relationships with some. Once I got bored, I'd write a suicide note or something in a group chat and abandon the account I used to talk to them on.
My best friend is the reason why I haven't just died yet, despite the times I've tried. We believe I have a combination of ASPD, Harm OCD, and autism. We know that I am autistic, and the mixture of aspd and harm ocd describes me perfectly.
Sometimes I have bouts of psychosis. I get auditory hallucinations and sometimes I'll vaguely see something that isn't there. I get so paranoid that I'll hide in my closet and refuse to move for hours. I have nonstop intrusive thoughts. Killing, raping, torturing, everything. I could go into more detail. but then when would I stop? It's constant. Nothing but violence in my mind. There have been times when I stood in my parents bedrooms while they slept, knives in hand. I'd be thinking about it, how I would kill them and it would be revenge for how they treat me. The only reason why I haven't is because I know I wouldn't be able to cover my tracks, I know I wouldn't be able to pretend to care. I often stop on the sides of the road to look and prod at roadkill. Once I went out to specifically get a bird that I hit the day before, but it was gone. I hate animals. They are too warm and move too much. I haven't had any pets but if I did, I'm certain I would've killed them.
I want to hurt people. I want to hurt myself. It's all I think about anymore. I don't feel any emotions anymore. Everything is a lie. All I do is lie. I don't even want to get better, I really don't care.
I have been getting increasingly worse the past few months. I don't know how much longer I can contain myself.
I’m thinking if I hear more people tell me how, strange and not normal these things are, I’ll be more likely to actually get help.
| 1 |
Badly need some warmth, a hug. Need someone to tell me it's alright and things will turn out better.
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I keep crying and crying and I am not able to figure it out. I don't have a partner who empathises with me when i suddenly start crying and cannot control my emotions. He just tells me i need to stop doing this. I feel pathetic, something hard in my throat, and i am not able to stop crying.
| 4 |
I've been dealing with mental health issues for almost all my life, and I was on medication for it for most of my life, but now I'm going to have to stop taking any meds. I could really use some advice in how to do it.
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I used to be on my dad's insurance, but I'm turning 21 soon so I won't be able to use his insurance. No job that I can get right now would be able to cover medication. And I don't have the funds to pay for them out of pocket. So for the first time in a while I'm going to have no support of any kind, and I'm terrified. But I'm going to have to. So I'd appreciate any advice
| 2 |
I hate feeling ignored.
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I feel like I'm being ignored. My partner is taking a while to answer the texts I sent him, my friend gives really short and bland answers to my texts, and will only answer if i spam ping him. I just feel like I'm not enough and that I'm burdening them with my constant need for attention. I feel like an attention whore when I text anyone about an issue I have, and I feel like everyone's lives would be so much better if I wasn't in them. I just feel so lonely, and I need a real genuine in-person hug, but I'm so touch deprived I'm very uncomfortable with physical touch. I just don't know how to feel, what I'm feeling, or if I'm feeling anything at all.
| 6 |
Going without medication
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My long time psychiatrist recently retired and after waiting almost 3 months to get into another doctor in the same clinic my worste nightmare came true.
New doctor(fresh out of school) not only said "I'm not going to continue prescribing any of your current medications and I am changing your diagnosis from anxiety disorder, ADHD, Insomnia, PTSD, and Aspergers to Bipolor disorder".
I've been on the same medications for a decade with no dosage changes or anything and they WORKED. Prior to that 14 years of changing medications every couple months because nothing worked or worse put me in the hospital.
Now I have no medications, no professional support, and the soonest I can try again with a different provider is 3 months.
I don't know anything I can do and I'm scared because I ended up in the hospital last time I went without these medications. Why do they always have to f**k with the medications if it works don't fix it.
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Mental health and full time work
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Anyone here work full time regardless of mental health status ? I have a really hard time working a lot of hours with my mental health how can I over come this and will it ever go away ?
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Looking for affordable, no insurance medical health and mental health care. Advice? Nonprofits? Guidance? Stories? More below…
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Mid-20s, Male, Central Florida, USA, anxious, mood shifts, unmotivated and tired constantly, lashing out at loved ones, closing off from loved ones, quit medical Mj (🍃) cold Turkey this month, quit my job and started a new one…
Going through a rough time emotionally, spiritually, socially, mentally, and financially. No insurance and already living paycheck to paycheck. Looking for quality therapy and screenings at free or almost free prices. I know there’s help out there, I know people have good hearts. I won’t stop till I find what I’m looking for.
Please share any advice, nonprofits, guidance, stories, suggestions, Do’s and Don’t’s, subreddit recommendations, therapy offers/deals/specials, grants or public aid applications, insurance tips… anything helps.
Thanks in advance!! ❤️🩹
| 2 |
Can someone say they care about me and that I live? Just wanna hear (read) it.
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UPDATE: thank you for the continuous support. Every once in a while I get a new comment or see one I hadn't read in full yet. One thing I'm sure of now, is no matter how you live or who you are, people want you here. And they want you to want to be here too, and even if their words are just another spoonful of love keeping you alive another day, that's not a sign of your life dwindling. There is a feast of life out there waiting for you. It will wait for you as long as you need, while you rest for now. Nearly whole world wants better circumstances for each other, so just sit tight, put on a song you love, and breathe for right now. Even just tonight. Let others figure it out for now, and breathe. <3
Hey strangers of the internet can you tell me I deserve to be alive even if I'm poor and stupid and sick? I'm dealing with suicidal thoughts. I can't turn to anyone in my life right now, they are either too overwhelmed or have a history of invalidating me directly. Someone I love very dearly just outright told me they resent me for not bringing in enough money (they're right) after I told them I'm trying to survive.
I've even turned to a parent who was abusive when I was a kid for comfort. But I'd just like someone to tell me they care about me when it they don't know me. Thank you. <3
If you don't know what to say just tell me about your favourite band or your day! Thanks again.
EDIT: I'm saving every single comment to re-read. Thank you. Truly. These are words I've always wanted to hear.
| 36 |
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough - Mae West
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Life is short, but it is enough if you have lived it well, surrounded by your loved ones, and doing what you love. It is all so much easier if you choose to live with wisdom and a deeper understanding of yourself. This helps you be grateful for what you have, develop a positive attitude and live with a sense of peace.
| 1 |
How do you make the suicide thoughts go away
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How do you get rid of these thoughts (other than the obvious option of actually doing it)? They've been tormenting me for about 5 years now and I just want to sleep and not wake up. I feel so alone and empty inside.
I can't get therapy rn and I don't have time to risk being in a psych ward or something anyway... is there some way to get rid of these thoughts by myself? I don't care if I'm depressed I just wish the intrusive thoughts would take a break.
| 2 |
having issues again....
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Been having issues with my disorders again, mostly anxiety and mixed with some anger. If anyone can talk to me for a little bit, then that would be great....
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I went on social media for the first time in a few years.... Now I am having an anxiety issue
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I am having an anxiety and depression problem because I decided to hop back on Facebook for the first time in a long while..... if anyone can talk to me a little bit, to help get my disorders in check? It would help.
| 2 |
I(30y) don't want to hang out with my mom(60y)
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My dad just died and my mom wants me to hang out with her all the time. I''ve never liked doing casual things with her, and I'm very independent.
I don't know how to tell her to leave me alone. The best relationship we ever had was when I lived in another state. I moved back because of my dad, but now he's gone.
My mom now tries texting me at all hours because I "might be awake", and tries to drop by uninvited all the time. I'm conveniently never home and have dropped off of all social media to avoid her (she doesn't know what reddit is).
Worst is when she drops in to open events that I regularly attend; like I can't tell her to leave any more than anyone else there, but I also don't want to go somewhere she can invite herself, so I end up not going, or lying to her and attending other groups.
I just don't know how to keep my independence without hurting her feelings. I get that she's lonely, but I don't want to be her go-to person.
Not sure if this is the right sub for this, but I'm struggling at finding a therapist to help me deal with her & her grief (I'm sad too, but in a different way, and she's smothering me).
| 2 |
Need some help with OCD
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Hello everyone. Long story short i have pretty bad ocd, at least this is how I think it is. Little story for how i became ocd. I didn't use to have ocd thoughts up untill Covid lockdown came. A lot of procrastination and dopamine activating activities stressed the s*it out of me and since then I've been dealing with such thoughts. The interesting thing is that when i have such thought another "punishing" so to say thought come after it. As a result of the ocd thought in the first place... hope it's understandable. What irritates me a lot is that these "punishing" thoughts are related to my health. For example after my brain came up with odd thoughts another follows "Now your balls will shrink" or anything else related to my goals. Now i associate the balls with an injury that i've had 2 years ago in that area but in general the thoughts are against achieving my goals. It sounds super silly but they really bother me.... Now after removing all bad habits/people from my life i didn't have them or at least they weren't that powerful...I've changed classes recently and in my new class there are very negative, none ambitious people that boost these thoughts and i've started having them again. Anyone sharing these same thoughts...related against achieving their goals in life and pretty bad ocd thoughts in general.... Thanks
| 1 |
Wisdom provides a path to peace
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http://bit.ly/3vGSQ9h
| 1 |
Having a job has always turned out bad for me. I burn out within years and quit. My most recent job I quit was almost 2 years ago and that was where my mental health crashed. (Help, need someone to please give me some advice)
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My first job I struggled hard to let go of that job as I felt I was going to be seen as a failure if I quit by both my coworkers and family members. I stuck it through meanwhile going to school but I was really suicidal that my mom who lives in a different state told me to quit and she’d help me out financially because she was scared I was going to do something to myself. I quit and left the state for months, came back and focused on school. Once the semester was over my dad kinda got tired of seeing me at home so he told me to find a job. I landed a lot of interviews in to which I got a job. I stayed there basically once the pandemic started in 2019ish 2020 and I think the pandemic is what spiked me to have a really bad time going into work because I was scared of catching the virus. I was equally going through a lot of family stuff which I was coming to realize my mom just wasn’t a good person and a lot of my childhood traumas started coming to surface which caused a lot of emotion. I began to puke every day before work, or even at work because I was so anxious. I started to land a lot in the hospital because of my anxiety felt so real. My last straw before quitting was when I woke up one morning and I felt like I was going insane looking at the time knowing I had to go to work but also having a panic attack where I felt like I was having a heart attack. I put my two weeks in and have been unemployed ever since. I do work however with my dad and also my uncles family owned business this isn’t an every day thing basically Saturday’s sometimes Sunday’s but it’s rare.
Last month I worked one week where I worked Friday and Monday with my uncle and Saturday and Sunday with my dad. So 4 days back to back, and on day two I was already puking before work as I used to before my old job. I was off my anxiety and bipolar medication that week as it was the holidays and I wasn’t feeling it. I’m back on them and I hope it helps with the anxiety feeling of going to work or just being away from home.
I really want my body to stop being in fight or flight mode whenever I need to go to work. Like for example, and this can apply to multiple if not all the times it happens. But whenever I go to sleep everything keeps me up but when I do end up sleeping and if I wake up once I’m already sweating from how nervous my body feels knowing I have x amount of hours to sleep because I woke up early within the night. There’s times I wake up at 4 and have to be up by 7 and I’m just awake throughout that time sweating in bed. I do have a therapist but I really don’t know what to tell her, but I also would like other. Peoples advice as that is always appreciated.
| 4 |
The Ending
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I'm 21 years old . I have attempted suicide thrice already .
My first was when I was 11 after I was molested by a male teacher and accused of seducing him by my teachers and mother .
My second was when I failed 3 subjects in 8th grade and my parents made me feel like my life is over
My third was when my mother started calling me a prostitute after she found out I was in a relationship by hacking into my WhatsApp chats . And I say 'started' because she never stopped calling me that even though that relationship ended a year ago and IT BLOODY HURTS
My GPA is going down due to my mental health and so are my chances to land a job .
My mother has told me that she is tired of wasting money on me and wants to use the money to send my brother abroad instead.
My parents treat me like their personal marriage counselor whose advice they always want but never follow.
I have lost 2 of my closest friends last year , 1 to cardiac arrest and 1 to suicide
Lastly I want to say that I ended my relationship because at a certain point we realised we are simply trauma bonded . He is planning to die and I don't think I've it in me to watch a third person I so deeply care about pass right in front of me.
I'm writing this because I INTEND TO KILL MYSELF too . I have tried therapy as long as I could afford it . I have tried hobbies and mindfulness and meditation and everything I could think of and afford. I know a long vacation would help but I'm out of money and my parents obviously won't fund it so I'M DONE.
I'M DONE . I'M TIRED AND I'M EXHAUSTED.
If you're reading this , it would a miracle because reddit has never approved any of my posts but if it does reach you , send some wisdom my way . And if it reaches me in time and if it helps , maybe , just maybe I'll change my mind .
I have told you why I wanna die . Show me why I shouldn't.
Update 1:(14 January 2023) Today is my last night in my parents house. This was supposed to be the last night of my life. I intended to kill myself tomorrow but given that I've decided to give it one last try , I won't . Not yet . I'm flying back to my hostel tomorrow .
My warden is abusive and my flatmates bully me for my hormonal problems . I'm really determined to turn my life around this time or die trying. In an attempt to surround myself with good people and live in a healthy environment, I've decided to move into a 1BR apartment with a friend.
I intend to finish college and take professional courses to boost my resume . I had emotionally moved on from this family long ago . It's time I manifest it. I'm just waiting to get a job .
I've fixed up my resume and I apply to multiple fresher jobs daily. I've made it a habit now. I passed the screening test in one company and they are yet to schedule a job interview for me. If that goes well , I'm positive, I'll get the job . The day I get a job , I'll cut off my family
Update 2 : (27February 2023) I can't begin to explain how much my life has turned around in the last 1 month. So I didn't get the initial job I was shortlisted for and I was so distraught and disheartened, I stopped giving a fuck. For a good 2 weeks ai barely got out of bed, starved myself and then came the final ultimatun from my family.
I turn 21 in March which is the legal age of marriage in my country and they wanted me to go back to their house and marry a stranger. Typical arrange marriage bullshit. This was 3 weeks ago. I say fuck this and start revaluating my resume. Fixed up some things and reached out to my college placement cell. I applied for jobs in. 3 companies. Got shortlisted for all 3 and got the job in the 2 nd company I had applied to. Not only did I get the job, I also got a part time position because they were really impressed by my final interview and in the end I walked out with the highest package among all the other 4 people who were selected.
The company is great. Work culture is awesome. The pay is as generous as it can be for an average fresher like me. Also it's an interesting job in the department I wanted.
Giving up is definitely not an option anymore. I just got my official offer letter an hour ago. Signed the lease to my new apartment far away from the abusive family and most importantly I am starting to save up for therapy.
There will be one last update on this post. I'm so excited to share my progress with y'all. Thank you so much for all the support. I couldn't have done it without you🧡
| 15 |
Hello!
|
Hello my name is Daniel, and I am a student of neuroscience and behavior, I have had many patients through the years, but if there is anything you need someone to hear, talk about something , perhaps help or advice in any life situation, feel free to DM me and I’m more than happy to talk to you.
| 5 |
My insomnia is acting up again... Someone help me
|
My insomnia has been acting up. Which, I have been forced to stay up for days at a time. Someone help me
| 10 |
Is 16 too young to start feeling bored with life?
|
I'm having a hard time enjoying anything, anything I used to enjoy just seems like a chore even videogames I've tried everything, interacting with people, substances, physical health, but nothing brings me any joy I barely eat and all i do is sleep I am starting to think it's the home environment but that sounds like my brain is making up excuses on why I no longer enjoy anything, I feel like maybe it's normal but I don't want to live like this forever, it makes me scared for what's ahead.
| 2 |
Tips for not feeling defensive / like the world is out to get me
|
First time poster here - I…have come to the recent conclusion that part of me is well…toxic. I’ve got a good head on my shoulders (I think), but past experiences have sort of cemented this idea in my head that it’s “me against the world” and recently, I’ve just been getting defensive / always looking at the negatives instead of the positives.
How can I overcome such thoughts? I never used to be like this and I’d prefer to not be like this because it’s not me / who I am / who I want to be.
Hints / tips / suggestions / ideas are all welcome.
| 9 |
If I dissapeared today nobody would care, I’m so emotinally hurt I want to cry out in dispair. Can I have some support? Becuase I cant find any.
|
I feel unloved, I feel like a burden to everyone I talk to, and that if I killed myself they would be happier. Sad music doesn't numb the pain anymore, I can't find anything to make me feel okay for even a fleeting moment. I've eaten the bare minimum that is healthy because I feel like a useless fat and annoying person but I might just almost stop eating altogether. I might stop talking because it always feels like what I say either helps people manipulate me, is ignored, or makes things worse. I was to scream constantly but I can't. And I have no person to think about or talk to to make things feel better, I'm an emotional wreck and I hate it and I hate myself.
| 21 |
Tongue feels too big?
|
Has anyone ever experienced such harsh anxiety that their tongue feels too big for their mouth and they struggle to speak? Currently been dealing with this for days. I want to go to the hospital because I’m paranoid but my boyfriend thinks it’s nothing. I feel like it keeps tensing in my mouth, thus making it hard to speak or even relax my jaw or tongue.
Please tell me I’m not alone??
| 3 |
My family don't react when I've mentioned self harm or attempted suicide. Should I confront them?
|
I (21 F) have been struggling with multiple mental health issues since I was 10 years old. These include anxiety, depression, anorexia, bulimia, body dismorphia and ptsd. (As a side note I found out this year I have autism and adhd.)
My mum and step dad take their own mental health issues seriously, but whenever I bring up my issues they give me either a blank stare or a sigh.
I first self harmed when I was around 14 and was round my dad's house when I did it. He was out shopping wirh 2 of my sisters and I did it so suddenly without a second thought. I instantly called my mum and told her. She sighed and told me to come home. So I walked the entire 45min walk alone in the rain constantly staring at my now cut arms. When I got home my mum was on the sofa with a friend and another family member laughing and having a nice convocation. She looked at me and I burst into tears.
Still with a smile on her face she said "Alright, show me." I said I didn't want the other 2 people in the room to see and she told me to "not be so silly". So I rolled up my sleeves and showed her. She smiles with a sigh and called me a silly bitch and told me to clean myself off.
In that moment all I wanted was a hug from my mum and for her to tell me it was going to be okay, but she went back to her convocation and I went to my room.
I first attempted suicide at the age of 15 by taking a box of painkillers. This since became my preferred method of attempting.
I told my mum a few days later after I'd talked to some friends about it and she just said "oh okay" without looking at me.
There was even one time in college when I was 16 and I had started to become heavily bulimic, to the point where it was as addicting as smoking a cigarette.
I had asked to use the bathroom during class and I was overheard by a teacher vomiting down the toilet and she somehow could tell it was self inflicted. She took me to the student safety facility where I told them everything and they called my mum.
She came and sat down next to me and they told her what had happened and what I had told them. She kept a slight smile on her face and didn't say much, just the occasional "aw" and "okay". They told her to take me home and to not let me out of her sight for the rest of the day for my own safety.
Our family friend picked us up and drove us home. The second we got in the door my mum told me she had to go pick up my sisters from school with her friend. I asked why she couldn't stay with me whist her friend picked them up like she had before, but she said nothing and left.
So I immediately went upstairs to the bathroom and continued where I left off.
My bf at the time had heard what had happened and ran to mine, almost breaking down the door and had to drag me away from the toilet. I stayed with him that night.
Since those first times, I have attempted suicide 4 times and self harmed more times than I can count. I started to mention it more to my mum and my younger sister (19) since finishing trauma therapy this year, and they both give me the same blank expression.
I feel so selfish for typing this but is it too much to ask for them to offer to talk about it, or even offer me a hug?
They help me out financially at times but I'd appreciate it if they could help me out emotionally and mentally too?
Am I asking for too much? Please be honest as I need to know if I'm overthinking this.
| 5 |
Is there anything that can actually help you feel normal? What advice would you give to a 24 years old girl that's absolutely lost and hollow, and even though feels dead has to work as a lawyer
|
I know I have potention to to good things if o was normal. I took venvanse, Ritalin, clonazepan, bupropion , nothing worked. Nothing helps Me escape the 24/7 thinking thar I wish I was dead.
Since I'm functioning, have a jov etc, no one takes it serious, I'm all alone. Not even me trying cocaine made that much of a difference I just had more energy but it made me ill and I went to the hospital. I can't even drunk because my stomach burns and makes me feel ill for days.
At this point I don't know if I want to get better of if I just want to escape, since unaliving myself it's not an option because I'm a pushy. I've been having stomach problema and I'm praying it's cancer.
I just want to be a normal functioning human, and not forget clothes on the washing machine for days or weeks,
If you guys have tips for this 9 year old in a body of a woman, could you please help me and give me tips?
I won't go further on other problems like family and etc .
So now I'm.gonna take a lot of clonazepan and go to bed to sleep because it's the only things that helps, sleeping
| 2 |
I think the pandemic broke me.
|
Not sure where is appropriate to post this, so any guidance is appreciated.
I've struggled a lot with the state of my mental health with regards to the state of the world since 2020, as I know many have. I'm not special in any way here. But I went from being very charismatic and outgoing to wanting to be isolated and alone all the time, and it's still impeding on my personal relationships even as we are healing and finding a new normal.
I fell into a habit of heavy drinking. I'm seeking professional help from a counselor, but I feel left by the wayside by everyone I love, and I have almost no desire to reconcile any of these relationships. I want to be the father and husband my family deserves, but I feel as if they don't understand the changes in me are irreversible, and I'm struggling to communicate with them about it. I definitely feel like an asshole here, but I can't help but always feel like I have to act my way through any obligatory interactions until I can hide away.
I don't really want to be "fixed" at this point, I just want to find peace with where I am now, and still be a good person. Not sure where I should turn to, but swimming in a bottle, its obvious to me to not be helpful.
| 2 |
I'm sorry, just tired of all of this shit. Things didn't getting better since 2018, they just getting worse.
|
My only friend has committed suicide in '18, I still can't get better, even after any kinds of pills, especially barbiturates.
I'm having therapeutic resisted depression, the pills can't even help. Anemia, depression, probably schizophrenia and deadly loneliness. Even alcohol, horny and gaming can't help I'm just grown tired of it.
| 9 |
need to talk to someone for a few minutes
| null | 2 |
Want to start a partial hospitalization program but scared how my bf will react
|
I (24f) have been dealing with mental health issues ever since I can remember (anxiety/depression, I also have adhd and I suspect I may be bipolar), but the last 1/3 of 2022 has been extremely overwhelming and chaotic for me.
Nothing really…bad happened. It seemed to just be going up for me for a while—I started a new job as a pharmacy tech in September and started dating my current bf shortly after I began. We started spending a lot of time with each other. Whenever we both had a day off, we were together.
I was holding down two jobs for a while; the other was at a supermarket. I left the supermarket job because I was getting overwhelmed with working too much and my schedule was a morning shift, which was total opposite of the pharmacy tech job. While this was all happening I was trying to find an apartment to move into with my friend but I’ve just been too broke to move out of my parents house so she found a place by herself (and I feel terrible because she was under the impression that I’d help her with rent and I didn’t speak up).
My bf lost his job about a month ago, so lately he has tons of free time and he wants to see me whenever I’m not working or when he’s not going to a concert with his friends. Between seeing him and the tech job all the time, I’ve been overwhelmed, struggling with my meds, struggling with sleep, struggling with impulsively spending money…I’ve been falling off the rails. And the thing is deep down I don’t really want to be a pharmacy tech, I want to write for a living but it’s just been too hard to find gigs and I have bills to pay so I’ve been pursuing other careers.
I’m making careless mistakes at my job and I’ve been having impulsive thoughts to steal drugs and idk if I trust myself not to follow through. So I decided I’m leaving my job and doing a partial program. I know my bf is supportive of me prioritizing my mental health but I’m not sure if he really knows what that entails. I’m…just really hoping my bf won’t think my time off will mean we can spend every waking moment with each other. I’d like to spend time with him a few days out of the week after partial but I really would like time to decompress some days. I’m also worried a bit about him being disappointed about our sex life because we usually have sex late at night after his parents go to bed since he still lives at home (and there’s no way he could come over my place).
Ik I should just talk to him about it and not be afraid of setting boundaries, but I’m scared. I need some advice
| 2 |
I think disturbing/gore videos ruined my trust in my life.
|
Hello, when i was younger maybe 13-15 yrs of age , I came across bestgore the website and I watched all the gore videos, even though I was freaked out at what I was seeing, I kept watching. Now I’m 19 and with social medias maybe every 2-4 days on Instagram a account I follow would post Chicago shooting and/or Ukraine/Russian combat footage. Every so often I’d see somebody shooting someone. But every person I have in my personal vicinity for example (a gym freind at my home) or (being alone with someone I don’t know in a place where I don’t know what’s going on around me) I’d start thinking negatively like “is this mf about to kill me?” Or I’d just make sure I have him in my vision or perephial. I researched on this subject and apparently it’s just as bad as watching corn. Seeing humans die is desensitizing me I guess. How do I fix this ?
| 12 |
I need advice for the situation I am in
|
The situation is this, my ex now works for the same company that I do; only in a different department. I am normally, cool with most of my exes ( with the exception of two, counting the one I am currently talking about. ) Things ended very badly with the one that now works for the same company I do. We haven't talked close to seven years, which I haven't even been in another relationship since. She said hi to me for the first time in years, we tried to keep it civil. I only said one word then rushed off to clock in, and that was " Busy ". What do I do? I still feel all that hatred, all that awkwardness, all that rage. A co worker told me to try and get along with her, even though that's hard for me. I would rather not bring up too much about how bad it ended, as it's still hurts to think about it. My anxiety is up a little bit, so this don't help too much either. If anyone can give me a small sliver of advice, it would be greatful. I know, this situation sounds very stupid
| 2 |
I cried in therapy today. Anyone else proud of me? :)
| null | 54 |
I(f16) am at the breaking point and i dont know what to do anymore
|
So i guess this will be the sequel to the post i made on [**r/TrueOffMyChest**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/) so just read that so you can get a better understanding
so today i got groped by a man in the parking lot today, yes you heard me right. i fucking knocked him out, as i've gotten self-defense lessons, and went to the station to report it, but i was so triggered the entire time from my childhood and everything, that i still dont feel comfortable of sharing tho you can probably guessed.
im fucking done, why does everything bad have to keep on happening to me? what did i ever do? why do i have to be so pretty and "beautiful?" I hate men, im never having sex again. im literally on the edge but im fighting so hard to make it to my 18th birthday so i can just run away with my boyfriend. but its so difficult i cannot begin to explain it to you
but uh yea, i just needed to vent and maybe im looking for the help, but who cares if someone sees this.
merry christmas i guess
| 1 |
22 yr old single father with schizophrenia
|
I’ve been a single father for a little over a month my daughters mom sees her about once a week for an hour and doesn’t help financially. My schizophrenia is under control with medication but I still struggle from time to time, my condition gets worse with stress and lack of sleep. My stress is worsening, sleep is getting harder to come by, my thoughts are negative and I’m struggling with an addiction to alcohol. I have a lot to say and need to get it off my chest.
| 6 |
I'm so depressed and confused would anybody listen?
|
A lot has been happening but I didn't even had the chance to process it until now and it's hitting hard.
I'd truly appreciate if someone could listen, if you're a people person I'd love to get some insight on another person's actions since I can't understand.
Thanks in advance
| 9 |
Give the Gift of Peer Support
|
*Redeem this code for* ***1 MONTH FREE*** *of mental health support from ShareWell.*
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| 0 |
I think I have PTSD from my moms affairs
|
When I was around 10-11 I found out my mom was cheating on my dad, I used her phone to play games and got a message from some guy saying “hi precious😍❤️” and I clicked on it since I saw it wasn’t my dads contact, saw a lot of conversations of my mom just cheating with other guys. At this time she also went to work and supposedly would go to the gym afterwards. Another family lived with us and the women in that family had some bad morals and my mom would just kinda follow along. Throughout this whole period of over a year I was told by the other women’s son that he knew my mom and his would go cheat and go have I intercourse with other guys. He was able to drive since he was 16 at the time, he would take me to the gym my mom would say she went to and we wouldn’t find her as a way for him to prove it to me. I told my dad and my dad didn’t do much he just sort of used me as a messenger to tell him things. I confronted my mom and she cried and apologized to me but not about cheating she just used falling out of love to excuse her cheating. Since I was 8 my mom would sometimes tell my dad in front of me and other people “if I cheat on you, you know why” or “don’t act surprised if I cheat on you” and would talk about him being horrible in bed. Which has now affected me to think that if I’m not good in bed then I’ll never maintain a relationship or at least a faithful one and has caused to me now have a very hard time reaching climax during the act, because I only really see intercouse as a means to satisfy the other person. Now I’m 16 and I’ve been having night terrors about my mom having affairs and I’m a kid again going through the same feelings I did back then, and when I wake up I just get flooded with those feelings and want to cry really badly. Whenever I see the mom in an affair in shows, all those feelings resurge and I start to get mad and annoyed and then after all that I want to cry again. It’s been happening for months now, and it only started after seeing a guy in my moms Facebook comments saying the same thing that guy said “hi precious😍❤️” now my mom didn’t even have him added back or anything and the lives a country away so I’m assuming it’s just some random dude tryna shoot his shot but when after I saw that it’s when all this shit started happening.
| 5 |
I don't want to live anymore because of my panic attacks.
|
In 2020 on last school day I experienced my first panic attack. I wasn't as scared of them as I am now and could still go places. In October 2020 I started antidepressants for anxiety and depression. I was actually happy with my life last year, but this year my panic attacks sparked and I have not gone to school for 10 months because of it. I'm tired of fearing them every moment of the day. I have gotten help but it isn't enough and I don't want to live anymore because of how painful each day is.
| 2 |
I can't call any more physical therapists offices today
|
I'm sitting here in tears because 2 weeks ago my orthepedic surgeon gave me a list of physical therapists to call to start PT for my broken ankle. I called one place today and it sapped everything I had. Why does this happen? Why is it so hard for me to do this? Why can't I navigate this system without breaking down? There's no point anyway, every place I call is booked out to January. My ankle is not going to heal properly and it's all my fault. I just want to shrivel up and dissappear.
| 6 |
I need an answer to this.... I am having an issue that I cannot resolve on my own
|
I am having issues with my disorders. I am having issues with my job. I am trying to apply and leave, but I keep panicking everytime. My job lately has become too stressful, and burm for me is very high right now. I have been working there for a very long time. My heath started to deteriorating, and I feel like I am losing control over my disorders..... someone help me
| 2 |
I need to know if I am okay..
|
From my very young age I have always been a fast learner but for the last two-three years I don’t know know how to concentrate or study anymore.
Like I will study n lose focus again and again.
Last year I had an incident that I couldn’t forget,
I was playing with my phone n suddenly lose my grip on reality n can’t differentiate if I was in a dream or in reality,I could not hear people talk to me and was in a trencelike state.So I went inside the washroom n took bath and I went to sleep n after waking up everything was okay and I didn’t face something scary like this anymore.
I also face problem like forgetting things easily,frequent Moodswings.
Can anyone tell me if it’s normal or I need some help.
I don’t know how to use Reddit properly so if I made mistakes forgive me.
Thankyou.
| 1 |
Self love?
|
I've always heard if you want to be happy and have a good life you must first love yourself and find yourself worthy of such.... But I don't have that feeling. No matter how hard I try to change it I still feel less than and unworthy and as if my existence does not matter. How can I change this.?
| 5 |
With Thanksgiving right around the corner, ShareWell wants to start celebrating gratitude
|
Studies have found that practicing gratitude has a whole host of benefits, swipe to see what some of them are. And if you need support, visit @ [https://www.sharewellnow.com/](https://www.sharewellnow.com/) and join ShareWell today.
ShareWell currently offers daily online peer support sessions on dozens of topics including anxiety, depression, burnout, grief, emotional abuse, and more. We’re celebrating Gratitude month by offering one month of ShareWell for free.
| 3 |
Alone for the holidays or looking for extra support?
|
ShareWell is so excited to offer programming on Thanksgiving and the Friday after! Visit @ [https://www.sharewellnow.com/](https://www.sharewellnow.com/) and sign up for a ShareWell account today so you can join our community as we focus on our mental health and healing this Thanksgiving.
| 1 |
Has anyone ever been told that they're too passive, but when you actually stand up for yourself you're "crazy," "nasty," etc.?
|
I swear this happens to me all the time...
I'm told I'm essentially weak and allow others to trample on me, but when I actually stand up for myself I'm a "crazy bitch," "nasty," etc., I even had a counsellor who said I shouldn't let others walk on me but when I snapped and I said I'm going to start treating others the way they've treated me she then essentially says "don't do it because it'll affect your reputation." WTF! So I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't? Anyways, I've been turning into a cold, anti-social person who has no qualms being rude to others (that actually deserve it) and I have cut off contact with the vast majority of people. I used to help others whenever I could, uphold manners and etiquette to the best of my ability, and be professional as best as I could. Now, I'm just waiting with a smile on my face for someone to tell me what a bad person I am when I decide to snap.
Has anyone else had this experience or a similar one?
| 42 |
What is actually wrong with me??
|
I know that most people on this wont be professionals, I'm not looking for a diagnosis per say, just for someone who understands I guess.
Im 25 and the only way I can describe my psychology is chaotic.
I feel this constant burning itching need to do something reckless and exciting. Not as in hurt myself, as in bail off work and book a flight somewhere, swim in the river around my town, sky dive but the drive to do it is almost unbearable like its a need.
I just constantly want to be going and I need something to be doing or looking forward to all of the time.
For ages thats all it was and I met up with an old friend and went drinking a few times and caught up and I felt a bit better then last night I just lost it. I was crying and stressed and my chest felt so tight, I felt like I was having the longest panic attack and nothing could help. Then I woke up this morning feeling drunk and tired and spaced.
Any doctor I go to says its depression but I'm not depressed at all (thankfully) I'm not feeling low, I like life and I like who I am as a person. They've given me just about every SSRI under the sun to no avail and once gave me xanax which I think helped a little but not really that much.
I just want to be a functioning person !
What could it be? What could I do to help myself?
| 3 |
i want to kill myself but idk if im most likely just doing it for attention
|
I dont even know if i have a mental illness or if i am just gaslighting myself to have one for attention. I have a happy childhood my family is supportive and i have friends. I am very emotional thats why i dont think i have a mental illness but the fking urge to kill myself Is so strong that i just want to find a painless way to die. Ive thought of overdosing on meds but i need a lot of medicine to do it so it would be fatal but then i still have this hesitation to live but given a painless method would be easy for me to kill myself id take it Ive already accomplished all of my desires to daydreaming and honestly me dying my family wont have to suffer anymore financially and they could now live in peace. I have an older brother anyway whos already working for them.
| 2 |
How can I help my friend in the military who’s struggling with severe depression/anxiety/ptsd
|
I 19F have a friend 19M who enlisted in the marines last year. I have slowly watched him declining but tonight when he came to me I realized how bad it truly is.
I don’t want to reveal too much into his story out of respect for him and also readers. However recently he found his bestfriend and roommate deceased in his room. Along with that his experiences so far in the field have been beyond anything I could imagine.
I don’t know if I’ve ever cried as I was when I read every text he sent. My heart was shattering.
I’m desperately seeking any way I can possibly help him. I’m scared he won’t make it much longer at the rate he is going. I am going to ensure I keep in contact with him every single day and do anything I possibly can to help him.
I would prefer help from anyone who has formerly or currently enlisted in the military or any military family for their guidance as to what I need to do however any help would mean the world.
I’m scared for him and I just want him to come home. I made him swear to me that he would let me visit when he comes home next. I know he isn’t the same guy I knew before but I still care about him so deeply and don’t want to lose him. I’m trying my best to stay strong for him but my heart is aching..
| 2 |
please give me a reason not to kill myself
|
i cant do this anymore, i hate myself and can’t stand to live with myself
| 0 |
I need advice, cant tell whether I deserve this treatment or not
|
I can be a very insecure person, I used to seek constant reasurance but thankfully I've improved quite a bit. Anyways tonight I was gaming with a friend, I said "Warzone is shit", which is just my opinion, he responded with "its because your shit at it". Now I don't care what somebody thinks of my "gaming abilities", of which there isn't much admittedly lol, but I felt like he was devaluing my opinion and talking my point of view down. I waited a few minutes and I asked him what he thought of the new cod, he said he liked it, which is cool. I said that I felt the last few cods were trash including Warzone, then he re-ittirated that it was just because I was shit at it. I responded with I don't really like it man, I think its shit. He starts arguing with me and I stated multiple times that its just my opinion. He called me a bunch of names and left. Then we messaged back and forth, he insulted me, called me bunch of names and claimed that it was because I got insecure that he got mad but if that's the case then why argue with me over my opinion. In hindsight I should have just walked away. I guess my question is do I deserve this? Is his anger justified? He's dealt with me being insecure in the past and doesn't always snap like that. I can understand how someone being insecure would annoy or anger somebody after a while but he's responsible for his own words and actions.
| 1 |
How can I help my severely depressed and suicidal brother (22)
|
Hi people,
I need advice on how to help my younger brother. He’s 22 and in a deep spiral I’ve moved him in with me into my tiny apartment in the hopes that my support and love will ease him into a better way of living. I honestly only want the very best for him and it breaks my heart to see him this way.
From what I’ve read online I shouldn’t go the way of tough love (which personally I know helps me). He’s self harmed quite severely in the past and attempted suicide more than once so I really don’t want to push him too hard. He constantly doubts himself and always blames his head for any of his behaviours instead of taking responsibility. For example he had a very easy job that’s 9-2 three days a week but out right refused to go because it would take him a long time to get there and various other silly excuses. He’s struggled to keep a job down ever since he was a teenager.
I’m trying to get him into a healthy routine ie eating correct, sorting out his sleeping pattern and doing something productive each and everyday. I’ve offered my support in form of just chatting to help me understand him and his situation, and hopefully take some weight off his shoulders.
We didn’t grow up with parents so I’m like the father figure to him but I’m just still working it out myself. Any advice would be a massive help.
| 1 |
Please tell me are bi-polars as crazy as the media portrays? I have Bipolar2 & I feel that every representation I see in movies or on TV is Embarrassing & over the top if not fully untrue.. Do we not see who we really are? I don't want to be what is portrayed. I'm scared that may be how I'm seen
| null | 8 |
Everyone Around Me is Dying - But All I Feel is Nothing
|
(Blanket Trigger Warning: suicide, loss, gore, etc.)----
In the past five years, around 10 people in my immediate circle of family and friends have died. Five of them were suicides (give or take the two that were potentially murdered...)
​
1. My uncle had a secret lifelong addiction to (prescribed) opies. Tried to quit, but couldn't make it. He crawled into the tub in his apartment and shot himself at the peak of his WDs.
2. A friend from college had to have part of his bowel removed from intense Crohn's disease. He hung himself when the painkillers ran out.
3. My best friend went to the grocery store, bought a bunch of groceries. Walked into an alleyway and then abruptly fired 4 rounds - with the fourth going under his chin. At some point a homeless person must have found his body and stole his wallet and cellphone....at least, that's the official story according to the police. Bullshit.I found out he was missing while I was out of the city with my grandpa and uncle. I was in the middle of cleaning up a small cabin they owned near a lake after my alcoholic dad and his girlfriend had a big fight and beat the living shit out of each other.The next day I started calling hospitals... then morgues. That's how we found him. The coroner told me where his body was found, so I went there.It had been raining, but a pool of his blood was still on the ground next to shell casings. I collected quite a bit of evidence and interviewed the people who checked him out. Found video footage. When I gave it to the police they said, "What do you expect us to do with this?" to which I replied, "Your fucking jobs" - and then the threatened to arrest me.There was a private viewing at the morgue before the cremation. There were maybe six of us there. I still remember watching his mother cry over his corpse. His eyes were still open, pointing in different directions. The entry wound was under the right side of his chin... but he was left handed. You do the math. His father, wracked with grief, asked me to write a book about him. He died a year later himself from colon cancer.
4. About a month later, another friend in the same circle drank himself to death. There's more sketchy shit here too that makes me think he was likely poisoned, but that's another story.
5. One year later my father committed suicide by tucking a rifle under his chin. He and his girlfriend had gotten into another fight, and she called the cops. He did a stint back in the 00s for possession, and he always said "I'll kill myself before I go back." Turns out he was serious. I requested a copy of the 911 call... you can hear his voice break when he realizes she called the cops and he just says *"Why? Why would you do that? I won't go back. Now I have to die. You killed me."*My grandfather was deep in dementia - but when he got the news it was instant clarity. I've never seen anything like it - and I hope I never do again. He kept asking if my dad had used the rifle he had given him (he had.) We lied... but he knew. He just kept saying "I shouldn't have given him that gun." Then he would forget what happened - and then **remember.** Over. and. over.My uncle and I decided it wouldn't be right to hire a "cleaning crew" for the house. So we did it ourselves. A .30-06 rifle has enough velocity to punch through steel...at close range it basically just makes things explode. We picked up literal pieces of his memories for three days, and buried them next to the bird feeder where he liked to watch the birds.The kicker is, we ended up having to turn the house over the bank anyway.
6. Two months later the same grandpa went into the hospital for a UTI. One night they said he got "agitated" and sedated him with motherfucking Seroquel (black labelled for geriatric patients, not supposed to be given)... His mouth got so dry he choked to death on his own spittle in my grandmother's arms.
7. Around this time we found out my wife's father had a rare disease and needed a bone marrow transplant. They found a donor quickly - and he ran marathons and shit, so his heart was strong. Docs gave him an 70% chance of survival. The day he started chemo to kill his immune system (so the new bone marrow wouldn't be rejected) - COVID was just hitting the US. He got it.The badass hung on for a month after - and the transplant worked! His immune system was fighting off the virus, but then he had multiple massive strokes. They took him off the ventilator and he lived for *two full days*.He was more of a father to me than my own father with this alcoholic absence... I have a tremendous amount of guilt admitting that.There was no funeral - only quarantine. My wife's job wouldn't let her take time off since she had visited him so much in the hospital after he took a turn for the worse.
8. One of my uncles was an alcoholic - and the pandemic made it worse. The docs said he needed to quit drinking to live, and instead he chose death - as much as an addict chooses anything, I suppose.His liver failed him about 6 months after my father in law died. He knew the end was close, and started calling family more often. I talked to him quite a few times - but I ignored the very last call. I was just busy. I texted him "I'll call you back" but never got the chance.
9. My wife's grandma died from COVID shorty after that.
10. Like my FIL had been more of a father to me than my own, my grandma was more of a mother to me than my own. My real mother is a complete conspiracy theory/religious nut. But that's a whole other trunk of trauma...Anyway, she had a fall last spring. Fractured pelvis. Some pain, but was walking around fine. We started alternating staying with her - keep in mind this woman was *not retired* at 87, and still drove everywhere. Sharp as a tack. But the doctors ordered strict bedrest, and she became depressed. Stopped eating. She went downhill fast - just lost the will to live. Her hospital stay is another saga (They didn't turn on a suction catheter and her skin literally sloughed off in inch deep from urine burns.)My last surviving uncle was convinced she would pull through, and wouldn't give her the hospice morphine. I understand... but it made me so mad. We fought, and he agreed to give her some - and then she promptly died. I know he silently blames me, but I don't really give a fuck.
11. Just this past week, my other grandma - deep in dementia, much deeper than the other grandpa - and completely bedridden - she finally died too. This one was almost merciful. It was long past her time, but my mother did everything she could to keep her alive, for religious reasons.She had been in and out of the hospital for the past three years - got COVID and *survived* it - in spite of my mom poisoning her with the "ivermectin cure." Every time she went in, I would think "Ok, this has to be it."She finally did pass - **on my birthday.** We did have a kind of special relationship, so I'm trying to frame it positively, as a sing of our bond or something - but I know it's just a coping mechanism.
12. The day after my grandma died, my wife's best friend went to the hospital. She had been sick with strep throat (she thought) - but the antibiotics she got didn't do anything.Turns out it was Acute (the bad kind) Leukemia. She was 31. We were at her wedding just after the quarantines ended. She just had a baby - 7 months old.The doctors did some tests and said her heart was really strong - it wasn't a matter of "survival" but a matter of "curing."Last Thursday she texted my wife to say the chemo wasn't that bad. Friday morning they made plans for her to visit over the weekend.... then her heart just stopped. And the revived her. And then her heart stopped again. This went on for 12 fucking hours before she died for the last time.
\-------------
My grandmother's funeral was yesterday. My wife's best friend's funeral is tomorrow, and I'm so fatigued from loss I just don't feel anything. Honestly, I stopped being able to cry after my dad died.
I keep thinking to myself this must be what being in a war feels like - there's so much death happening near you that you just become numb.
I've been to a therapist - but I can hardly get through 1/2 of the deaths before time is up - and then it's another three month wait.... and that's not even scratching the cult-mommy absent-daddy issues. He says it's normal not to feel anything, but I really want to.
It's been two years now and the only time I can cry like I want is when I get shitfaced - I'm talking pants-on-head drunk. I don't really drink much though.
I just feel like I'm holding up all this weight, and I don't have any way to put it down....
Anyway, if you've made it this far - thanks for reading. I don't know what to expect from putting this here - I think in spite of everything I'm doing kind of ok. It just makes me feel better to write this stuff down, I guess.
| 5 |
Gift a friend 1 month of ShareWell for free! 🎁
|
ShareWell currently offers daily online peer support sessions on dozens of topics including anxiety, depression, burnout, grief, emotional abuse, and more. We’re celebrating Gratitude month by offering one month of ShareWell for free.
**Use code FREEMONTH.** Redeem at [**https://sharewellnow.com/**](https://sharewellnow.com/)
| 1 |
Anyone have social anxiety with family members
|
60 years old and have anxiety being around family members
| 17 |
I am so sick of my sister's unacceptance and controlling me.
|
I (14) identify as Agender and Transgender. (I use She/He/They pronouns). I'm absolutely sick of my sister. She has
* Asked if she can still deadname AND misgender me
* Made fun of one of my chosen names (I have two names)
* Told me not to change my name because "Deadname suits you so well"
* Told me not to explore myself
* Used her time in the closet to invalidate when I was ready to come out
* Made fun of me for exploring myself then got offended when I hid my use of She/He/They
* Deadnames her trans friends
I'm sick of it. She said I can't be nonbinary and trans at the same time because "Nonbinary isn't trans" even though it literally is. She also said to "Stop appropriating trans people" when I had a trans flag pin. She tries to control everything about me. Who I'm friends with, what shows I watch, what books I read, even what school clubs I go to. I'm so fucking sick of it, I just want to have my own life without her all over me.
| 1 |
need to talk to someone..... saw someone that I have issues with.
|
Please keep in mind I am at work, so I cannot respond right away
| 3 |
I f*ed up (again) and I clearly need help, sigh
|
Without going into it, I did something *very* dumb today. I'm terrified of the consequences and of them being 1000x worse than what's been suggested so far--like, that my life will be completely ruined over this. I called 988 (the crisis/suicide hotline) for the first time ever.
So yeah. I was literally going out to go grocery shopping, and do some fun experimental cooking...that was my plan today. Watch TV, cook, maybe (at *worst*) drink some beer... Instead, I can't go to the store, I'm calling a fucking crisis hotline, I'm drinking very old (but not in a good way) alcohol that I have around (spoiler alert, I'm drunk), and I'm in trouble to one degree or another...and not because someone wronged me or because "shit happens" but because I did a bad, stupid thing that I'm going to suffer consequences for. I can't even go to the fucking grocery store without completely fucking up my life, apparently. Where's the hotline for *that*?
I'm not a kid--I'm a middle-aged adult who should be doing *way* better than this. I have a really good job, good pay, all that...I wasn't abused as a child. I have no "excuse" for this shit.
I went through another "crisis" several months ago that lasted a few months (minimal eating, drinking, not sleeping right, panicking all the time, etc.). Things sorted themselves out, and I settled down...and yeah. Not that things were perfect, but a lot of what happened and what was wrong was sorted out. I was fine for like...a few fucking months. And now I feel like I'm right back into it--another crisis.
The 988 woman suggested seeing a therapist, and yeah, she's right...or something.
Oh, and the person who I was talking to about the situation today (not 988) kept going on about how the most important thing was that *I* was OK, blah blah...and at one point, she said, "it could have been worse", and I said "Greg Abbott said that after 19 children were murdered, so...yeah." So that probably doesn't indicate a healthy engagement with the world around me. :-D And she asked me if someone in my home was hurting me, and I was like, "I live alone, so if anyone's hurting me, it's me" (and I am!). Basically, I wish I had a fucking excuse--stop asking! As hard as it must be to have an abusive partner or substance abuse issue, what do you do if you don't even that to explain your problems? You're just a fuck-up on your own, apparently, with no excuse or explanation.
Anyway, while 988 was OK and I may use it again if needed, they can't *fix* anything, really. If you feel you've ruined your life, even 1000 3-digit phone calls can fix it. I just feel sad that I *have* to use it...I have no one else to go to.
| 2 |
Need therapy but can't afford the price tag?
|
Announcing the new [ShareWell Membership](https://sharewellnow.com/) \-- unlimited, live peer support for only $10/month.
| 1 |
Is there anyone else that is a male that is overly sensitive like I am?
|
I get my feelings hurt quite easily after some ex friends did me wrong. I also cry a lot for a male. Am I broken do I need fixed? I don't know if I am overly sensitive because I get hurt a lot or I was born this way? What's your experience with overly sensitive people? I don't have any friends doubt I'll make any because all people do is hurt me so I can't talk to anyone about it except on the internet. Or does depression make you overly sensitive? I feel like I am the only male that cries in private.
| 9 |
When I feel like my husband is upset with me but now ready to talk, I panic. How to I allow myself to be okay with someone being upset with me
|
My husband was upset with me about something but not wanting to talk about it yet and I have a very hard time with respecting that boundary. I do okay and then a switch flips and I am sent into a full blown panic attack. To be clear, this doesn’t happen when I clearly know why he’s upset, but if I don’t know what he’s upset about and I’m being stonewalled, I absolutely collapse.
I’ve been regularly on my meds, I haven’t missed a day in over 2 months, but last night I had a complete meltdown and I felt like the earth wad falling out from under me. The next day I always feel ashamed or guilty that I was so emotional. The only way I can describe it is “getting drunk, blacking out and making an ass out of yourself” but instead of that I’ve just a sobbing mess. I have a therapist and we both see her, both independently and jointly.
How do I control this?
| 8 |
Tips for Peer Support from Dr. Gadinsky, Part 2
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Try to create an open dialogue so everyone can share their own experiences, and don’t feel pressured to address everything. A lot of tough issues can’t be resolved immediately!
Read more @ [https://blog.sharewellnow.com/tips-for-peer-support-from-dr-gadinsky-part-2/](https://blog.sharewellnow.com/tips-for-peer-support-from-dr-gadinsky-part-2/)
| 0 |
Tips for Peer Support from Dr. Gadinsky, Part 1
|
In this two-part series, psychologist Dr. Natasha Gadinsky shares her tips for how to start a peer support session to setup the group for success. We hope they help you in discovering your own rhythm for setting up a safe space for peers to gather and exchange their minds.
Start with some group guidelines @ [https://blog.sharewellnow.com/tips-for-peer-support-from-dr-gadinsky-part-1/](https://blog.sharewellnow.com/tips-for-peer-support-from-dr-gadinsky-part-1/)
| 1 |
What Are The Signs of Emotional Abuse/An Emotional Abuser?
|
If you’re suffering from emotional abuse, it can be hard to trust your own perception of what’s happening. Are these your feelings or are you being manipulated to feel them? Are you overreacting or should you seek support? If you’re asking these questions, it’s important to be familiar with the signs of emotional abuse and how they may show up in yourself or others.
Examples of these behaviors include:
* Demeaning and second-guessing
* Making you question your reality
* Making you feel guilty or stupid for feeling hurt
* Isolating you from your support system
* Belittling your concerns
Learn more @ [https://blog.sharewellnow.com/emotional-abuse/](https://blog.sharewellnow.com/emotional-abuse/)
| 2 |
Parenting my son, who has been diagnosed with DMDD.
|
My 11yo son was diagnosed with DMDD and depression.
He has serious 'episodes' of violent aggression, severe agitation, screaming and crying. And cussing. He cusses a lot in his episodes.
I am in need to some type of Parenting classes that include children with mental health diagnoses.
Preferably via Zoom, Telehealth or something like that.
I am on a tight budget but am willing to pay for the classes.
I am desperate. I have exhausted every last one of my own resources.
Any resources are greatly appreciated!
Thank you.
| 5 |
please help, my husband is falling into a bad depression and I don't know how to help him!!
|
We've been married for almost a decade now, and in the past year he's had two strokes, were not even in our 40s.
Ever since his friend circle has shrunk to nothing and his whole world now is just our house while I'm at work, he has online friends he talks to but he opens up about missing RL friends and seeing people in person.
He talks about how he wants to give him, and while I try to emotionally support him when I'm home , he's completely alone while I'm at work, he's able to care for himself while I'm gone but he's in too much pain to go out and all of his friends are in minimal contact now.
I'm at a loss on how to help him.
| 7 |
what can I do to actually help my mental health?
|
I look up stuff and it says "just breathe" "take a nice walk" etc.
Maybe they might help a bit but they won't do anything in the long run.
I have really bad anxiety to the point that I can barely speak to people even if I try the words don't come out and I haven't been going to school because I'm too scared of taking public transport. I can't do anything and I feel stuck.
I'm depressed and all I think about is killing myself and I want this to change but I don't actually know what to do to fix this. I want to live a fulfilling life but how do I actually go about doing that? I speak to a counselor but idk if it really helps because all we do is talk about a few small problems.
Please help me idk what to do anymore. I live in the UK btw
| 6 |
My partner is an addict, suicidal, and probably has other undiagnosed issues. I don’t think I can keep living here
|
Last week she spent all our money on drugs I got very mad and said I wanted a divorce. She talked about selfharm, ate a bunch of pills and I finaly got. Her to the hospital and she is currently on a psychiatric hold. Im so grateful and relieved for this break. I go to support groups and they all explain that addiction is a Disease. And If she has another mental issue then she has that disease as well. I’ve been living with this since before the pandemic and she keeps not going to doctors or AA type recovery groups. I’m trying to understand that even thought it is obvious she is hurting herself and everyone else she won’t get the help she needs. 3 years of insanity is all I can do, I don’t want her to die but I can’t stop it and keep myself sane. I feel lost, but I know I’m not Alone.
| 6 |
please, if anyone is on..... My anxiety is acting up bad...... please help
|
Anxiety is acting up bad, can barely function...... please help.....
| 6 |
anxiety is acting up badly.... need to talk to someone
| null | 2 |
I am having an anger issue
|
Been feeling extremely annoyed, volatile, and negative. Heard a name I didn't want to hear. Need to talk to someone to gor a few minutes, to see if it helps.
| 2 |
I have C-PTSD and it's been years since therapy and I've forgotten how to cope. Taking any advice.
|
So I (21f) was diagnosed with c-ptsd when i was 15 and went to therapy for it on a 2 year intensive program after a few attempts. After the therapy i was feeling great and confident and more in tune with myself, but now i feel like i don't know who i am anymore and I'm more so behaving the way i think people would want me to behave. I have problems with relating and trusting people in general which makes it hard to actually feel a connection with anyone. (In case this helps, my therapist thought I had a personality disorder aswell, but in my country they don't like to give diagnosis's until they are older and since I'd only be able to do the program they wanted to focus on the unresolved trauma and gave me the c-ptsd diagnosis because it was clear as day) I change between extreme heights of stress where i run around like a headless chicken or being so depressed i can't be bothered to get out of bed for days on end. Realistically i don't really have anything to stress too much over but the smallest thing makes me want to curl up into a ball and hide. I'm pretty scared right now because i see little hope and feel like I'm back to how I was when i was 15, if not worse, but don't have the money for therapy. So if anyone has any tips and tricks or good apps to recommend I'd gladly take it. Thanks in advance.
| 3 |
Can I stop sertraline completely? I take sertraline 50 and I am thinking about stopping it with the help of my doctor. Is it hard? What challenges have you faced if you went through this experience? It made me gain weight and I am over it.
| null | 2 |
Diazepam 2mg for Anxiety
|
Hi there, I’m just looking for similar experiences.
I’ve been prescribed 2mg of diazepam to help with severe anxiety attacks. They don’t happen everyday but when they come in it’s like I feel like I’m dying.
I suffer from health anxiety so medications etc make me worry that the worst of the worst side effects are going to happen to me.
I was just wondering if anyone could ease my mind with their own experiences. I haven’t slept in two days due to a very bad anxiety experience upon waking up the other day and I’m just exhausted.
| 4 |
What is wrong with me (NSFW)
|
I used to be super loving and caring to the point that I’d cry if someone killed a bug. I went through a lot of physical mental verbal and emotional abuse constantly for three and a half years and got out of it last November. I was on drugs until last may, when I quit I went to therapy because I had been waiting to face my mental problems when I got back home and was stabler. I had used drugs to numb my mind and it probably saved a lot of my sanity through all the shit I was out through. Anyways, I go to intake at the therapist office, they go through like 300 questions, most being raw harsh detailed ones that reopened a bunch of things that terrified me and that I’d shoved down. I allowed it because I’d told myself if I want to get better I had to do it. At the end she told me that I couldn’t be seen with a therapist for over a month, because that was the earliest visit they had open. If she would have told me that in the beginning I wouldn’t have opened all this shit until then. It set my mind into overdrive, I haven’t been feeling much of anything except pain in the back of my head where I got hit by my ex with a machete two Februarys ago. It’s a 4 inch long cut that I went to the hospital for and they told me I needed stitches at least but I took care of it myself. He hit me with a sheathed machete and it went through the sheath am also cut all my hair off in that spot. I’ll put a picture below of what it looked like almost a year after including me cutting the rest of my hair multiple times tryna even it out. Anyways I don’t know if the blunt force trauma from the indent in my skull has a part in my cold hearted attitude or maybe my anger but the only emotion I noticeably feel is wanting to hurt things. Not people yet, but I get angry when people wanna talk about feelings with me. I know I’m in here somewhere, but this horrible thing is sweeping over me quick and I don’t know what to do. I assumed therapy was trying to make more money out of me by messing me up more before starting to fix me. Mind you I had 5 months roughly before going to therapy and after going through the trauma that I didn’t feel like this. I get adrenaline rushes imagining harming things that aren’t people. I thought I was multiple personality but I don’t know at this point. I felt like a prisoner in my own body in the beginning, like this monster would get to do fucked up stuff and I’d be inside me unable to stop it but have to watch it happen then feel like a piece of shit and deal with the aftermath but I still felt bad at this at point. Now I feel further away, like I know I should feel bad but I don’t. I’m present enough to say that I don’t want to become that and this is a last attempt to maybe get some advice instead of just giving up completely. I don’t know, maybe I’m stupid for even bringing it up but it’s worth a shot if it could give me a different perspective.
| 5 |
I am panicking again because of my anxiety. Need to talk to someone.
|
I am having an anxiety attack because of my current economic situation. My anxiety is through the roof and I need to talk to someone badly.
| 3 |
I am diagnosed with schizophrenia but
|
I am actually fed up . This world is nothing but eternal pain . Happiness is nothing but the game of hormones . If you observe the world ( take your time ) you'll know everyone is selfish (EVEN YOUR OWN FAMILY) people only want to see others downfall . They struggle a lot just for living but what's the POINT ? Ever observed any labourer around yourself. They bust their ass just to get enough for food but WHERE IS HAPPINES.
DOES ANY GOOD STILL EXISTS - well NO!!!
People only stop you from dying is because they want their comfort even if it will destroy everything inside of you .
| 5 |
Why do I always cry when I feel like my spouse is upset with me? Am I being manipulative?
|
I feel like a f-up and that I can’t seem to do anything right. When my DH talks to me about anything and I feel like I did something wrong, all this sadness and shame and guilt consumes me. I try to put myself in his shoes and think about what he’s feeling but I’m so overwhelmed with the feeling that I’m always upsetting him and I’m the reason for a lot of his sadness and disappointment. I feel like it’s my insecurities that take over at that point. But I really can’t hold the tears back and I get to a point where I’m almost having a panic attack sometimes.
| 3 |
What is Non Addictive Personality type?
|
The question says it all. I was told once a long time ago, that I have something called Non addictive personality type. I remember my father talking about it, while we watched lord of War with Nicolas Cage.
| 2 |
Troubles at home...
|
So my husband (M 44), is a HUGE dirt track racing fan here, and is going to the local Wissota 100 races in Fergus Falls, MN, next week. He's staying in a motel for the week, but will be doing a lot of his own cooking and stuff, since we don't have a lot of money for him to eat out every meal. That means buying a few groceries, and having enough money for gas up there, since he has enough spending money for other things and for a tank of gas to come home on. However, there's a problem.
I (F 51), just started a new job, and I don't get paid fully until the 15th, when his week there is almost over. His parents, whome we live with, are gone with his brother on a vacation to Yellowstone Park until next week, and can't give him any money. So when she called tonight to see how things were going back at home, my hubby bit her head off, telling her the trouble. Then she got really mad at me, telling me I should have told her about it before they left. ( It wouldn't have mattered anyway, since this was a spur-of-the-moment trip for them and BIL to celebrate their wedding anniversary on Sept. 1st.)
So my hubby and my MIL made me feel like shite and like two inches tall because of this, even though I told them I would talk to my mom and see if she wouldn't be nice enough to help out. It didn't help my bipolar and my depression out, either. Then my hubby suggested maybe he shouldn't go after all. Wouldn't that make everyone happy. I told him to knock it off already. Finally he said he was going to bed, and taking his brother's dog with him, which was fine. But then he called a few minutes later and said he was sleeping in his brother's room with his brother's dog in the hopes that the dog will calm down some and not miss his master so much. But all it did was make me cry because it makes me feel like he doesn't want to be with me tonight because of our argument, and his mom. I don't know what to do! :(
| 2 |
Labelled as mentally ill just because the majority of society don’t understand some things that happen in life…
|
I have experienced some very intense, strange, abnormal, supernatural, spiritual things in my life, as well as miracles, things that most people don’t believe are possible, things that don’t usually happen to everyone or lots of people and because of these experiences, I’m labelled as psychotic etc because people think these things are in my head/imagination.
Some of the things I have experienced, I have experienced with other people, so I know some of these things really did happen but still, no one believes me...
Sure, I'm depressed, sure, I accept I have PTSD, anxiety etc because of the trauma and things I've been through, but I refuse to accept that most of the things I've experienced or continue to experience are just mental health when I know lots of these things were real...
I have always also had my own opinions on disorders such as schizophrenia, personality disorders etc, I have always believed that some, if not most of people diagnosed with these things actually have abilities, powers, they genuinely hear and see what the rest of society cannot hear and see, there "personalities" maybe left over personalities from that persons previous lives or they have other souls/spirits with them, sometimes protecting them, or sometimes there "personalities" are actually there higher self...
If God or another spirit or supernatural being genuinely spoke to you or something spiritual/supernatural happened infront of your eyes, you would instantly get labelled as mentally ill as well...
Imagine, genuinely being abducted by aliens, whitnessing a miracle, being able to travel to other dimensions, seeing into further realms or seeing things that other humans cannot see because you are wired differently, and just being labelled mentally ill and having no help for these things, no one to talk to... Imagine having depression and PTSD because of these experiences and not being able to get the right therapy to get over it or through it because you're told it's in your head....
There needs to be someone we can go to, speak to, someone to help us that actually believes your experiences, that believes what you've been through and can help you with these things, help you to understand, to cope, help to keep you strong, help to make you feel you're not alone, rather than just being told you're a liar and you imagined it all...
Truthfully, no one truly knows whether or not people are really able to see and hear things that are really there but others can't see, no one knows whether people can truly see the future, have visions, communicate with God or higher beings or your higher self, no one knows whether people can actually travel to other realms or experience miracles and spiritual, supernatural things that defy science and nature, no one truly knows the truth until they experience themselves...
It's so lonely not being believed... it's so lonely having to keep things to yourself because speaking about things is pointless when you know you'll just be told it's all in your head... it's lonely when you're on a different level to others... it's lonely when you understand certain things and know that there is more to this world and life than what is physical... It's lonely having to try and understand these things alone and get through them without help unless you meet others that are like you that also understand...
Once upon a time, people did understand, people that experienced these sorts of things were called seers or witches or warlocks etc, people understood, but now, those of us who are witches, prophets, connected, spiritual, enlightened, get told we are crazy and put in hospitals and when we tell people of our experiences, people believe us even less because of the labels we have...
My depression, anxiety, paranoia, PTSD etc comes from my trauma, comes from these experiences which I have to keep to myself, come from being alone, come from understanding certain things about this world which are hard to accept, I became an addict to cope, to stop my brain overloading, to give me strength...
There needs to be an alternative for us... someone to talk to who genuinely understands and believes us and someone who also knows that these experiences are real and do happen...
I'm sick of being given meds and therapy, because it doesn't stop it or help, meds won't help when it's not in your head, meds won't help when it's real...
| 1 |
Anxiety is acting up. Could use someone to talk to at the moment
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My anxiety is acting up and I need someone to talk to. Please be warned, I will not be able to respond right away. I have been having issues with my job recently, on top of other things besides burnout. I could use someone to talk to at the moment. My anxiety is crippling most of the time, along with the rest of my disorders. If anyone can message me, it would be helpful.
| 3 |
I am panicking
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I have been sick the last few days and my job has been fighting with me about it as I was hospitalized because I was and still am sick. Then on top of that, my truck started leaking radiator fluid bad. I am at my wits end. Everything has been falling apart around me. I want it all to stop....... I have been panicking because now I have no way of getting into work tomorrow if I get denied sick leave....... this is utter stupid bullshit..... why me? Why me?
| 2 |
anxiety is up and I feel alone.
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As the title states, my anxiety is up over the stupidest reason; which is making my depression act up as I feel completely alone. Need someone to talk to until it stops.
| 2 |
Feels like I'm never happy with what I have (mostly venting but would like advices or someone to talk to)
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(F26) I've been struggling with mental health pretty much all my life, but it always felt like a roller coaster. I'll feel perfectly fine and happy for a couple weeks or months, and then I go down again and feel like I'm not enough, everything is boring, every food is bad,... And that with no actual reason most of the time. It just feels like whenever I finally feel good and start to enjoy life, my brain just decides that I had enough fun and wants to feel sad and angry all of a sudden. This feeling will last for again couple weeks or months, then the cycle continue. I'm back down again right now, it's been a couple weeks already and I keep feeling worse. I don't understand because I had such new good things happening to me recently; new amazing boyfriend, going back to school for a new career, new group of friends,... Nothing really happened if I can recall. All was doing well. And I keep telling myself that everything is going ok, I have such new exciting things now, but I still feel sad and extremely bored with life. I don't want to end myself but I still want to just disappear or stop time for months. I'm not in therapy anymore since maybe a year and I felt so great and proud of myself when I stopped seeing him (not that it's shameful, just that I wanted to be done with it). I'm scared to go see him again because I'll feel like I'm failing and I won't know what to talk about besides "I don't know what's going on". There's also the fact that it's hard for me to find a therapist because of money issues (public system is overloaded and there's months and months of waiting). I'm scared I'm going to have to take meds because of the after effects and being addicted. My mom had depression and anxiety all her life and has ton of pills twice a day now and it freaks my out.
| 2 |
Help....Help....Help!!!!
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I am panicking.... freaking out....... losing control of my anxiety because my truck my rear bumper is ready to fall off because of road rot...... everyone is saying that it's a lost cause because of the rust on the frame..... I was just asking of possible prices, not the verdict of my truck. I literally found parts to replace the damaged areas. They don't know my situation and how badly I need a vehicle. If I follow their advice, then this is what will happen to a fault....
Junk truck = being forced to quit my job
Quitting job = homeless
Homeless = no place to sleep
No way to get around = not being able to go to court
No way to court = Jail time
I need to talk to someone..... anyone please..... my anxiety is through the roof....
| 6 |
I haven't been able to sleep properly in almost 5 days.... someone help me.
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I can't sleep.....I get maybe 6 hours if I am lucky. Most of the time, I am awake for days on end. Taking 40 to 80 mg of melatonin at a time. I don't know why anymore. On top of that, I feel like freak of nature, unable to date anyone. Yet, I feel comfortable being alone; even though I am envious of everyone around me for having theirs live together. While mine is just barely holding on. I have almost no friends, very little family..... can't go to collage because it's too expensive and something happens whenever I get close to starting..... I feel hopeless. I hate myself, I hate how I am, I hate the horrid memories I have that won't go away.
| 2 |
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