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Anxiety help
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I have really bad anxiety and panic attacks here and there. What would you recommend to help that, other then prescribed medication?
| 4 |
How do you deal with feeling like your life is falling apart because of a cavity
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Because of my mental soup of ADHD and depression I barely brush my teeth. I'm working on not forgetting it and making it part of my routine but it's so hard. Just now I had a motivation moment and brushed them for the first time in a few weeks and I spotted a small cavity, on one of those typical not-often-cleaned spots near my gums and I felt the fear of fucking god in my veins. My luck has run out. The moment I saw it I noticed it hurting too, I don't know if it's in my head or because I just brushed my teeth and everything's sensitive now. I'm just so fucking scared now. I suddenly feel like that entire tooth is rotting from the inside out into my jaw, like it's about to fall out, and I'm just shaking waiting for my electric toothbrush to charge because that thing isn't leaving my hand for the next hour. I feel so disappointed in myself and want to curl up and cry. I'm calling my dentist first thing tomorrow and I feel like they're gonna judge me so hard, I haven't been in like a year for a check-up either and last time I by some miracle didn't have any cavities so this must've been recent, it's so tiny but still visible, like the size of the tip of a needle. I feel so stuck and bad and gross and I knew it could happen and it was gonna happen at some point and I just didn't care enough and now I'm paying the price and it just sucks so much.
I know I'm rambling and I don't even know if this post is allowed, I just grabbed the first relatable one I saw, but I hate this feeling and just need to get it out and I need some comfort. I called my parents and they were just like "you knew this would happen, just call your dentist and listen to them for once" like I didn't know that myself, didn't comfort me at all. I know it's my fault but it still sucks and I feel alone.
| 2 |
Depression leading to insomnia
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My bf (29M) is in severe depression. He lost his mother 7 months back. He was already in depression before for various reasons (ex : health issues, career issues, childhood trauma, manipulative father) but the death of his mom (the only person in his household who was kind to him) just broke him completely. He cannot sleep. It's been so long. We are trying to avoid sleeping medication because it will just start a vicious cycle. He has tried listening to soothing music, yoga for sleep but it simply doesn't work. He has to do a lot of house chores now given the family circumstances and honestly it feels like his body has started to break also. Right now, my main concern is his sleep. I have decided to read a story book over phone at night but I have no clue if it will work.
If you have any suggestions regarding this issue, it will be tremendously helpful.
P.S. please don't suggest to go for counseling because he has visited many psychologists. I felt like they didn't even understand him and when we tried to say something opposite to his/her viewpoint, they just take it to their ego. So we are not doing that.
| 15 |
I have to buy a car...
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I'm freaking out about it. I only have a total of $2000 and piss poor credit. I'm a generic blue collar wage slave who scrapes by with the bare minimum. I'm terrified of having to talk to someone about buying a car when I have so little money to do it. I'll have to try to go to one of those buy-here, pay-here lots that are famous for being shitty. Even then I doubt they'll sell one to me, my credit is that bad. Its like 525. I'm fucking humiliated about my money and being in this situation. I'm honestly thinking about just pulling all my money out of the bank, leaving it on my desk at home with a note telling my roommate to use it, and just going off into the woods near my house to hang myself so I dont have to deal with this shit anymore. I dont know what the fuck i should do
| 5 |
lexapro insomnia advice!!!
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Does lexapro insomnia go away with time as your body gets used to the med??
| 3 |
Retail vs. Pub Job and Mental Health
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Hello, 26[F] from London, UK. I'm interviewing for two jobs this week. One with a retail store and one with a pub but I'm trying to decide which I'd be best suited to. My previous job history was working in an art gallery, doing social media and ambassadorships at university.
I've been out of proper employment for about 5 years due to my poor mental health. I'm bipolar type one with treatment resistant depression and I suffer from anxiety disorders as well as agoraphobia. So I've known I'm not very reliable when it comes to mind mood if I'm in a bad way. I'm doing a bit better now and really need some work.
The retail job is low pressure but I'd have to commute to central London which makes me very anxious as I have a particular anxiety around travel. But the pub job is more local but it could be subject to a higher pressure environment. And more difficult customers.
In an ideal world I would choose retail locally but that's not an option. So I was wondering which would serve me best given my condition. A friend mentioned that I'd meet a lot of people at the pub which is a plus for me as that's also part of my motivation for working is to make friends. I know people say that retail is the worst but this is a higher end company that also sells home goods. So it's not as stressful as somewhere like Primark for example.
I was also wondering, which environment is best for if I'm having a bad day or something. talking to my therapist she said she'd be fine with someone not all happy and smiley at the pub as long as the service is good. but in retail I don't know if I could get away with that.
Thanks if you've read this far and have any advice for me. Appreciate it.
| 3 |
Trazodone - feel sick
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A month or so ago we went up to 200mg.
I sleep OK, but I can't tell if I'm coming down with something or what. I have that weird pre-flu feeling, discombobulated, out of sorts. And really tired.
I figure by now the 200mg is at full force.
Anyone else get this kind of feeling out of it?
| 2 |
Being afraid of driving
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I’m started taking driving lessons because whenever I study nothing sticks to my brain but after actually driving I feel a bit better. But I keep having to go to the bathroom or falling asleep when I think about studying. All I want to do it sleep but when I sleep and wake up I am very upset and guilty that I slept. What can I do?
| 1 |
What good does my existence do?
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To me, my existence is a burden to everyone.
| 7 |
This is it...I'm finally asking
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Today is the day. I'm finally asking for help. I'm so tired of the constant state of anxiety, the mind that never quiets. The intrusive thoughts. I'm tired of the constant sadness or numbness for no real reason. I'm tired of being exhausted, constantly having to put on a mask and pretend I'm okay or happy. Wanting to do things but feeling paralyzed. Not even knowing what makes me happy, brings me joy. Having to make a real effort not to burst into tears at random for no real reason. So I finally made a doctors appointment for later today. I've always known about my anxiety but depression.....it's something I've only recently come to terms with after a lot of denial and a lot of just pushing things down. I just hope I actually get the help I need and not just blown off when I finally decide to reach out for help. Truthfully I dont even know what to say when I go but I know I can't do this on my own anymore.
I'm not sure why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to put it out there into the world, see it written in words.
| 76 |
When do you know it’s time for a new therapist?
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Saw mine for a year. Took a break, picked back up in Dec.
I’m going thru a divorce, similar circumstances as hers.
I quit drinking months ago & being sober is working so much better w my antidepressants. She keeps nudging me that I’ll be ok to drink once my divorce is all over. It’s so weird. I’m not even talking about it.
Anyway, how did you know it was time to find someone new and how did you break up w current therapist?
| 2 |
just started myo inositol nad think it’s messing with my sleep? does it take a while to adjust to?
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Just started 2g twice a day for anxiety. Find my sleep seems more fragmented, less restorative, and I’m groggier in the morning. To be fair my sleep if often a mess, and I’m frequently tired in the morning. But this feels different? I’m only on day two (second full
dose after a quick titration up). Could it be the myo inositol? Does it take time to adjust to this? Or maybe it’s just not for me. So far no noticeable difference in anxiety. I thought that effect was pretty immediate? Anyone have a similar experience?
| 1 |
Truly 20s - Depressing and Unfulfilling
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Posting this anonymously but wanted to share because I know there has to be other twenty year olds that feel the same way and I hope that this helps someone out there feel less alone.
Does anyone else feel like their early twenties have been the most heart wrenching years of their lives? Like I had always dreamt of this time period and I don’t think I’ve ever been more depressed, sad, or alone in my life.
And the crazy part of it all is that I’m exactly where I wanted to be or pictured myself being at this age - foot in the door in my dream job and industry, I have a consistent day to day routine, in the best physical shape of my life, my family is alive and healthy and well, and I have so much to be grateful for but somehow it still doesn’t feel like enough, like I haven’t done enough or that I’m not good or fulfilled enough.
Coming out of the pandemic to a full time job and 40+ hour work weeks made me so bitter and I feel like I grew up way too fast. I’ve changed so much, I’ve lost nearly all my friends, lost all interest in going out and having a social life. I’m single and have been almost all my life and sometimes I feel guilty I’m holding myself back or wasting my prime time but Ive developed insane social anxiety and truly only comfort and ease in my own home and my day to day routine that I for the most part spend alone. Everyone around me thinks I’m thriving and doing the best I ever had when most days I can’t wait to hide away from the world in my room in the dark alone. Can anybody relate? Sometimes I feel so accomplished and content but others I worry I’m so behind and I drive myself crazy in my own thoughts. What do you do that helps you? I tried therapy a few months ago and am strongly considering going back.
Sorry this turned into an unintended rant but I feel like I cant truly talk to anyone I know or around me about this without worrying them and I don’t like the feeling of pity especially when I feel like I’ve been blessed my whole life but hopefully this helped someone out there realize theyre not alone 🥹
| 4 |
Have you ever
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Felt like you were just going through the motions? Numb?
| 5 |
Anxiety, mTBI , or lymes?
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Anyone have similar symptoms from mTBI, anxiety, lymes or is this something else..
Hi all. I had a fall back in November 20, 2022 where I fell backwards and slammed the back of my head. At the time I did not have any symptoms other than I noticed I began to have a clicking in my right ear that sounded like something was crackling on my ear drum. Occasionally I would notice slight ringing but it wasn’t really bothersome.Then on Jan 6, 2023 I experienced my first faint/dizzy/nauseous episode. It lasted a few minutes came out of no where. I was fine after that until Feb 9, 2023..In the middle of the night the ringing in my ears started blasting. I woke up the next day feeling disoriented, head pressure, and just generally “off”. A few days later I had a couple more faint/dizzy episodes and was generally pretty nauseous. Feb 14, I started to develop a veryyy strange sensation in my pelvis and legs that felt like a sort of butterfly/ticklish sensation and it kept me up for a week straight, obgyn said maybe pudendal nerve issues but don’t know what caused it. I then started to get strange vibration sensations in random patches of legs, glutes and feet. Eye twitching/spasms, vibration in top and side of head, seeing little clear dots or bubble looking things, blood shot eyes on random days, extreme head pressure and disorientation, dizzy when turning around or looking up. I also have experienced a couple days where my neck feels like it’s not going to hold my head up…it feels like a deep ache and like if I turn my head it might snap. Really weird. Also waking up from sleep pretty frequently and will just dazed/confused or wake up and think for hours not even knowing I’m awake.
As of recent, the head pressure and disorientation has improved significantly, from a 10 to a 3-4 I’d say. However, in the last week I’ve started to experience random muscle pulsing/twitching in my legs and arms and actual muscle pain anytime I attempt to do leg exercises like lunges or squats (body weight). Occasional leg or arm jerks when I’m resting. In addition, I started noticing symptoms resembling autonomic nervous symptom dysfunction such as red and splotchy legs, increased heart rate and extreme heart pounding, dizziness when standing, etc. I also noticed that my left hand fingers seem to be slightly shaky, particularly my ring finger. Have been having vibration/buzzing feelings in random spots of my feet quite a bit lately, as well as shooting pain in the genital area.
Had MRI’s (with and without contrast) of brain, neck, entire spine, and pelvis, everything came out clean and normal. Neuro confirmed no MS, spinal cored injury, etc so he said he couldn’t help me. ENT and a vestibular specialist said it was from head injury or neurologic disorder not anything ear related as my audio test came back perfect.
It has been 4 months of these symptoms. Wondering if the issues related to the head (tinnitus, neck pain, head pressure and disorientation, etc) could just be isolated to hitting my head and the rest of the symptoms could be anxiety?? To me, it’s seems like the symptoms are TOO strong to possibly be anxiety, but I’m honestly hoping it is because I really don’t want it to be Lymes or a neurological disorder. Wondering if anyone has experienced similar symptoms from a head injury or anxiety. I am 25 female. Scared this is something really bad. If anyone has had similar symptoms and has any success stories to share or advice please comment! Thank you
| 1 |
Can stress/anxiety make you feel hot inside or drive your temp up a little?
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I've been through a great deal of stress and trauma over the years and sometimes I feel really hot inside. Like I'm surrounded by this aura of heat.
Also, for decades now, I'll go through these periods where my temp is anywhere from 98.8 - 99.5 and feel really hot and yucky. Sometimes, I take a Tylenol to "cool off" and it helps a little bit.
I've had these up and down temps and feelings of heat in my abdomen, face, etc for a long time and have seen many doctors and have had many tests. The docs never seem concerned and the tests always come back normal. Sitting by the AC or if it's 70 degrees or below seems to help a lot.
Anyone else here ever go through this?. Thank you!.
| 1 |
Sertraline - What Not To Do
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A story we can all learn from..
Context: Been on 100mg since Aug 2021 i’ve been wanting to come off for a few months but i’ve been scared to because i can’t miss work.
So around 5 days ago i got covid symptoms - really bad and i had an idea in my head that this would be a perfect time to come off sertraline?!! i think because i was outwardly ill if i came off sertraline i could blame being internally i’ll on my covid symptoms.
I’ve skipped a few days before and been fine so honestly i wasn’t thinking i’d get any withdrawal symptoms but oh i was wrong 😃
So yesterday is when the withdrawals kicked in day 4 or 5 (baring in mind i quit cold turkey which your not meant to do and no ive not told my doctor but hopefully this will teach me a lesson) but I felt so sick and dizzy and just head foggy but i’m still sick like i can’t taste or smell anything atm so i thought it was still ‘covid’.
However today i feel so sick, dizzy and head foggy aswell as a really bad headache i had to call in to work sick which is not what i was hoping for.
So i gave in and i’ve took my sertraline tablets just now and i’m just praying i haven’t messed up my body to the point it’s gonna give me symptoms because i’m taking the full dosage again.
Anyway moral of the story is don’t quit cold turkey and consult your doctors first.
Why i wanted to come off it?
- I feel like it’s done it’s job i don’t need it anymore i’m not in the same place as i was before i started taking it - i took it for my social anxiety because i was struggling to find a job
- i miss grapefuit 😂
- I was getting weird symptoms like randomly in the day i’d get so tired
- if i had even a sip of alcohol the next day i would be so bad mentally it would make me unrecognisable.
- intrusive thoughts - i’ve never had intrusive thoughts before sertraline maybe once or twice in my life but i get them daily on sertraline idk why
- I don’t think it’s working anymore i still get anxiety like i did before but definitely not as bad but some days they are just as bad and other days i don’t have any anxiety at all it’s comes and goes in waves and id just prefer not to be on it anymore.
| 2 |
Busbar advice please!!!!
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Hi there I'm new to using Busbar. 3 days in. I take 5mg at 8am and 2.5mg at 2pm and I now am having such a hard time sleeping! Does this get better with time??? Appreciate your input!
| 1 |
When should I be concerned about memory?
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To preface this I wanna say i’m not diagnosed with anything that could explain this.
I’ve always had a pretty persistent issue of misplacing things, as do most people. However this has gotten more and more frequent with literally *anything*. If they’re not in my immediate line of sight I’ve forgotten where it is and where it could be. It’s gotten to a point where my family has just assumed responsibility of my things and bring them to me because they know I’m going to ask them about it eventually. This is annoying but not what the post is really about.
I’ve started forgetting things I should know, and things I used to remember, like if I turned my computer off or if I fed my dog. Probably the worst and grossest one is when I last showered. I promise I’m not gross and I shower at a good rate, once every two days. I’ve made a chart to keep track. But this is what I’m most concerned about. I need a chart to help me keep track of when I showered, when I have or should eat, and when i’ve brushed my teeth like I’m a little kid. Small, basic things or anything beyond yesterday completely escapes me. Most recently, I misplaced a knife while cutting fruit or something and had a little breakdown because I somehow lost a knife. This ties back to the losing stuff thing in the beginning. It kind of feels like someone is messing with me.
I know forgetfulness is common but I’m kind of worried and want to know if I’m overreacting or not.
Edit: forgot to add I’m not at an age where this is normal
| 6 |
Extreme Anxiety
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I constant anxiety and it’s very stressful. I recently quit my job because it’s so overwhelming. I’m on lexipro 20g but it hasn’t helped much. What ways do you cope?
What meds work best for you?
I’m really struggling.
| 4 |
New symptom
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Lately I’ve been getting more paranoid than usual. Feel like people are looking at me sometimes or judging me when they simply aren’t. Exercise used to help but, lately it really hasn’t been doing much. It clears my head for about 30 mins or so and I’m right back in the same place. Public places have been annoying me so much lately and people in general. Maybe it’s meds not working or something idk. Just annoying to be alive lately.
| 2 |
Today was a great day in Los Angeles dealing with my anxiety and pain always offering free advice and support for anyone in Los Angeles dealing with substance abuse problems
| null | 1 |
I got one hour of sleep should I go to bed 😔
| null | 7 |
Adopt me?
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I have MDD anxiety ptsd. Avpd, Agoraphobia, Selective mutism, Inferiority Complex, Anhedonia. Etc..... Like if I could stay inside more (agoraphobic) I would. Being homeless/couch surfing makes that hard.
No life, nowhere to be, learned I'm less than human, have no rights. A few years of work history ever (I'm 34) I shouldn't even be alive but there's always newer levels of low to meet before suicide. (Junkie/crime/etc)
Like if I had a friend who had a quiet farm I could try to help out at. I'd live in a shed basically. I'd want to contribute however but can't even take care of myself obviously. Idk stuck on east coast u.s. I'd explain more but I'd have to write so much.
The few people I do know that care/understand are also disabled/homeless can't help themselves either. Idk what to do. Don't need thoughts prayers/ hotlines etc. Only hope is one decade I can finally get disability. Been getting nowhere basically for past... 11 yrs
Any help or advice or direction into real help would be nice
| 2 |
Everything I've wanted to do and enjoy has failed. What's the point anymore?
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Everything I used to love and tried to do for a career has failed. Tried so hard for so long but didn't get my dreams.
Now I have no purpose anymore. No motivation to do anything anymore since it'll fail like everything else.
| 2 |
I'm getting bad. In anticipation of needing to be an inpatient, how does that work? Like where do I go?
| null | 2 |
Has your partner every said your mental health was annoying
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Recently my partner explained to me that he thinks my anxiety is annoying and doesn’t think I have anything to be depressed about, I have some childhood trauma I am working through but he makes me second guess myself constantly. I’ll feel a certain way and then he says something similar to the above and then I feel like a terrible person because people are physically Ill and then I feel guilty if I’m complaining.
Anyone else have a partner who feels this way?
When I get upset he says he doesn’t mean it and that he doesn’t want me upset but he still says it’s a burden and it getting in the way of our life together.
| 12 |
Worried I have appendicitis
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Last night I felt for the location where it’s at and it was a bit painful. Not sure how hard I need to press. I ran today for a hour. Little nauseated. I’m not sure but it’s stressing me out
| 1 |
Am I a burden to others and myself?
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I’m a 35 year old straight, autistic man who for years has felt and believed that I’m a burden to others and myself. I suffer from trauma of being bullied and hated by others my entire life. I haven’t been bullied lately but the memories from it are still there.
That’s why I get sad or scared when I get yelled at or others get mad at me. It hurts pretty bad. It’s made me believe that I’m worthless. Am I a burden to others and myself?
| 15 |
What are people's experiences with trying to in cooperate exercise into their mental health management plan?
| null | 2 |
i can't shake this feeling that i just need to die soon
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I've been having a rough time lately and I've been catching myself just stuck in my own head all the time. I think I've cried for at least an hour every day for the past week and I can't even pinpoint what exactly is triggering it. My life is a mess. I'm 19 but I'm also a high school and community college dropout that can't drive and won't search for a job because I would need to rely on others for transportation. I feel too ashamed to get help for what I really need and I just wake up wishing I never did. I want to just hurt myself. I want to give myself a concussion again or have another mild overdose because I had some psychotic breakdown since that actually made me feel alive. I just want to disappear and be erased from existence. My physical health is in decline and mere thought of scheduling an appointment makes my feel like I would rather die.
I don't know even know when everything got this bad. Just two years ago, I would keep in shape by going on walks in the morning and then I started to realize that I would recognize people or that drivers would look at me as I cross the street and stopped. Early covid my first and only therapist ended up of moving offices and referring me to some of his other colleagues or hinting at his new office but I never followed up. Prior, I had stopped taking meds because I didn't like how it made me feel like I wasn't real. Essentially I've been living with untreated depression and anxiety and I cannot bring myself to ask for help or ask someone to help because my shame and guilt triumphs over all those feelings of wanting to help myself. I don't even want to help myself sometimes so do I even really deserve sympathy? because I don't think I do. If I never get help maybe my body will just give up on me. If I don't work out or properly eat maybe my immune system will fail me and I can get cancer just like I've wanted.
Isn't that just pathetic? I genuinely want cancer. Because at least I know I can die. So stupid. It's not like my getting cancer would take it away from anyone else. side note, isn't it dumb that everyone that gets cancer always seem like people that want prosperous lives or are just objectively good people? Shit like that really solidifies my belief that if there is a god he is not good and definitely not all the time. Fuck organized religion. If I didn't grow up in church maybe I wouldn't have this insane moral battlefield in my head. Maybe I wouldn't spend my free time questioning if I am a good or bad person like it actually matters. Maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty that my mom believes she won't see me in heaven with her. Fuck that fact that I care about that shit. I hate it. I hate it I hate it. I just hate it. I hate that I will and can never have answers.
I hate that there are still people that care about me. If everyone just didn't care about me, maybe I could actually kill myself, because nothing other than me would be holding me back. I hate that I care about people but am too awful of a person to help. If I was just an unapologetically shitty person then at least people would hate me as much as I hate me, and then I could die and they would have a hard time finding a reason to care, because maybe they would think the world is better off without me.
Thinking about how in the grand scheme of things none of this this really even matters, only makes me feel even more stupid because why am I letting myself care so badly if I am just so so so tiny. My existence truly means nothing. And yet I have been going in these same cycles and circles years at this point.
This is very disorganized, I'm sorry. All in all, everything just makes me think that I need to just die soon because I as a person am getting worse by the day. I am irritable and rude, hypocritical, judgy and passive aggressive. I waste people's time energy and resources with nothing in return. I genuinely am living like human parasite. I wish I could muster up the drive to prepare and follow through with plans to die and not just bank on some silly hope of getting cancer in the future. I just need to die. I want to die soon and fast. That good time to die that I always dreamed of is coming up. My parents can retire soon and my sister is about to graduate college and no one needs me so how come I'm not planning to do it like I've told myself I would all this time. This time is now, this is my chance and I won't take it even though I can finally take the easy way out of all this misery.
It just makes me feel worse. more stupid. more lazy. more anger manifesting out of anxiety. more everything negative about me. and I'm just wasting away on the internet for some attention because of it. so fucking dumb. I don't know what to do and I don't even know if I would do it if i knew what to do. nothing fucking matters and if it does that's only because you as an individual chose to make it matter. what is the point. there is no point. theres no point and i just need to kill myself already. i don't even know why im sharing htis. im so lost and confused and closed minded and just want everything to come to me apparently . im losing it. im sorry for wasting the time of anybody who reads this. there was no point.
| 4 |
Cymbalta and Abilify
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Have either of these caused very dry skin and face acne for anyone?
I started both around the same time (abilify 2 weeks before cymbalta) and about a month into abilify and 2-3 weeks into cymbalta my face broke out so bad I thought it was an allergic reaction to either my make up or face wipes. It was so bad my Dr put me on an antibiotic and a steroid to clear it up, which did help, but it came right back when I finished them.
Both drugs have helped me a ton, but I already have self esteem and body issues and having acne and my face flaking off is not worth mental stability when there's other drugs I can try.
Any ideas on which one it is?
| 3 |
positive experiences with lexapro please!
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Will start lexapro but very sensetive to meds and am very anxious, zoloft made me crazy wired. Looking for positive experiences with lexapro, thanks!
| 2 |
Today’s a new day and I have found relief from pain and anxiety in Los Angeles California
| null | 1 |
Having a lot of disassociation lately
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So I’m kind of confused to why I’ve been disassociating a lot lately. This has never happened before and it’s worrying me quite a bit. I do have generalized anxiety disorder and have been dealing with depression due to my husband being deployed. Me and him just pcsed about two months ago. I recently cut off my parents and I don’t have much friends here so it does get lonely from time to time. Is there a certain cause and effect of disassociation. I’ve tried to sort out the root but I’m just assuming it’s just because I’m vulnerable. I do really miss him a lot and we were only together for two months after he got out of basic which sucks. He does come back in August it does ultimately suck when you have no one to talk to.
| 1 |
Hitting another rough patch
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If I’m being serious, I’m just in the same rough patch I’ve been in. Back in January I started getting really sick. They found some not stellar things and I had a few precancerous masses removed and still have a large one on my liver that were working on. We had a major death in the family where I lost one of my absolute best friends. She was my mother in law. She’s the only one I told about my suicidal thoughts, my depression and anxiety. She helped me through all of it. Every time. And now she’s gone. I was out of work for so long, my husband too because he has to care for me and our 9 year old son. Now here we are, 3 months later, no income, mortgage due, electric about to be turned off, very little to buy food with to get by. No government assistance available (i tried. I don’t qualify) Everything feels heavy. Hopeless. I’m worth so much more dead than alive. My life insurance could fix everything. I’m so defeated. I don’t want to be here anymore.
| 6 |
i'm tired and i want to die
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Can someone give me a reason not to die? If you say something sensible, I will not commit suicide.
| 15 |
Anxiety before work (zoom) meetings
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Hello, I was wondering what people do to reduce anxiety before work (zoom) meetings. I get so anxious every time. Please be short and sweet and as specific as possible. Like I use the app “calm” for breathing exercises..
Journal?
Positive affirmations?
Visualizations?
Breathing exercises?
| 4 |
In pain emotionally, depressed, exhausted etc.
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Hello, so I'm not exactly sure where to start. I guess since I was very young.. preschool, Ive had social anxiety very bad, I would never eat lunch around anyone. I still don't like to eat around people. I've had depression my whole life, anxiety, among other issues. I have BDD as well...(body dysmorphia). I was a big kid my whole life (I am female, 30 years old). I went anorexic in middle school and lost about 70 pounds or so. I have been diagnosed with ADHD as well and I have OCD.
I feel like I am stuck in retail right now though I go to school. I have low confidence and I am actually afraid of leaving the house except for work but when it does get busy I am uncomfortable and more tired. I have anxiety going anywhere on my days off. I am easily triggered and think about wanting to die every day. I feel emotional pain and chest pain from it.
I am easily triggered by my physical appearance as it's been an issue my whole life where I just don't want to be seen by anyone. I do get told by people they think Im attractive etc..but idk, it just doesn't make a true difference in my head. While I appreciate the compliments I just have a hard time most of the time. I want to live a normal life for once... I want to be happy for once.
I have been to multiple therapists and psychiatrists. I am seeing somebody new now.
When I was 8 I was on Zoloft. Now I have been on abilify, Zoloft, wellbutrin, desvenlafaxine, Prozac, pristiq, propranolol, concerta, and Adderall in the past. I am now on nothing.
I also take natural supplements now including sam-e, st. Johns wort, and lions mane.
I am irritable, depressed, anxious etc.
People in my life tell me they don't want to hear me say I want to die and that I'm not trying hard enough.. to me I try my best every day but i feel like giving up.
Has anyone else experienced this and has there been anything that has worked for you? Thanks for any replies.
| 13 |
I wish i could stop the world for 10 minutes.
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It feels like im on a ride and i cant get off. Im overwhelmed with emotions and feelings of hatred for myself. I cant/wont talk to anyone about it. My therapist has no clue. My husband has no clue. My business partner and staff all think my life is perfect. Im suffering and its so loud inside. I can literally feel the energy flowing rapidly through my body. I so badly want to lay down, close my eyes and never open them again. I hate me. I don’t deserve any of the good that i have. It should belong to someone else.
Even writing this makes me grossed out by myself.
| 8 |
My dogs
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I sit and watch my dogs sleep peacefully
Wishing for that same level of tranquility
But inside everything turns and twists
Something is wrong, my body insists
But it’s just anxiety
That never truly sits quietly
I feel like my heart is a race horse
Pushing against my chest with such force
I curl up like my dog, small and in a ball
And hope that somehow it gets rid of it all
| 13 |
Crippling Anxiety
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35F and I need help. Apologies for typos (on mobile) and length, but so, so grateful for those who read this.
My shoulders, chest, back and jaw are always cleanched like I'm subconsciously trying to curl up into myself. I cant sleep, small sounds cause my heart to race and I wake up with adrenaline. I'm always exhausted, and because of this, I'm feeling so hopeless. I cry out of fear or frustration at least once a day now making me feel pathetic and empty. I shake, have numb limbs, depersonalization and chronically check my pulse. I feel like I'm dying all the time and like someone vacuumed all the joy and confidence I once built up out of my soul.
I stopped taking sertraline after 8ish years and it's going terribly. I slowly weaned myself off because of an imminent lack of insurance back in September, and I'm not doing well. Before I went off medication, I went part time from working a full time management position for over 12 years. At first, I was elated to be home so much. I had dreamed of being part time, accomplishing so many things at home, ( we bought a foreclosed home 9 years ago with TONS of issues) just being less stressed in general, but because of the part time status, I lost insurance. My partner who works 12 hour days and I were not married yet, and knowing I would lose coverage and wanting to get pregnant soon, I slowly weaned myself off Sertraline as responsibly as possible. This actually went okay, surprisingly, but I'm thinking it was because I still had medication in my system.
Before I was off meds I was binge drinking about 2-3 times per week, which has been an issue since I was 18, as well as insane amounts of weed smoking- so, additional self medication that was frankly really bad to do on meds. Drinking was ingrained in me as a coping mechanism that caused so, so many problems over the years. Being medicated helped numb the terrible anxiety and withdrawing I would go through with drinking, so it made it possible to continue this cycle for years. I am a very naturally anxious person, from childhood until now. I am an only child who had an extremely verbally abusive father which I know caused a lot of problems.
By December of this year I had noticed the familiar feelings of not just hints-of-anxiousness, but the crippling anxiety coming back. I drink a bit in Decemeber, and for at least five days after, would notice terrible, horrible anxiety, withdrawals and sleeplessness. This was so much more severe unmedicated I literally had to stop which had not happened consistently since my teens. Because of it being a coping mechanism, and major ingrained habit, I had some huge issues mourning a "friend" and psuedo-tool I had used for years to overcome social anxiety and insecurity. This was obviously never helping, but in the throes of addiction and habit, I couldn't recognize it.
Then caffeine started affecting me in a negative way. Even small amounts would cause heart palpitations and severe unease. It became a gateway for a panic attack. I would usually consume a decent amount of caffeine before work, which made me feel more efficient, confident and social. Just like drinking. Now, I had lost two major things I used to cope with life. I had some peace with knowing I should have quit drinking years ago and letting it go, but now I couldn't even handle caffeine? But wait! There's more! Enter weed smoking, which I had already largely cut back. I went from smoking as soon as I got home from work to just before bed to sleep. I have always had major sleeping issues and maijuana helped turn my obsessive thoughts off so I could sleep. Now it was causing the same panic caffeine did. I had a violent panic attack in January after smoking and almost thought I needed to call an ambulance.
I'm sure by now, you can see I have some substance reliance issues. I know this, and I'm not proud. I should in theory be proud I stopped three bad habits/addictions AND antidepressants. Instead, I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel devastatingly hopeless. I feel truly alien, like I cant be a normal functioning human. I'm chronically jittery, exhausted and scared. I feel like although overcoming addiction I have backslid into my lowest low. I have had to leave work because of panic attacks. I dont go out to social events unless absolutely necessary, and spend the whole time in partial terror. I have no joy in anything I used to care about. I feel like I'm driving my mother and husband insane with my repetitive, obsessive anxieties, insecurities and attacks. They are so supportive, but I cant help but feel like they are a little over it.
The last two months have been awful. By now, I expected some relief from my brain getting used to being off meds, but instead I'm now worried this is just who I am unmedicated. I obsess about the house not being fixed, people judging it, things imminently breaking, about not being pregnant yet, ( biological clock shit) disapointing family and friends and its leaving me feeling utterly hopeless. I have been in therepy off and on for years, read countless books, every supplement out there, meditation, watched tons of videos and documentaries on anxiety, improved my diet, reached out to others, breathing exercises... you name it. I know most of the tools to help with anxiety. I've tried almost all of them. I have held off on going back on medication in hopes of becoming pregnant, but that hasn't happened yet and frankly I dont want to start and stop medication again right now.
I'm afraid of everything. I feel like I'm disconnected and disassociated from myself. Its unrelenting. I dont have "good" days, lately. Shit, I'd take mediocre ones! I have tried to push through, get tasks done around the house to feel like I'm accomplishing something, positive affirmations...nothing is working. I'm so tired. I'm so sick of being afraid of basic life tasks, like making appointments, working, social obligations, etc. I'm tired of feeling adrenaline over every sound, waking up anxious, taking hours to fall asleep because I'm anxious and dont sleep. Im so sore because I'm always clenched and tense. I'm always checking my pulse. Im always worried about horrible things happening to myself and family, health related or otherwise. This cyclical unrelenting chronic crippling anxiety is making me insane. I am considering therepy again, but past experiences have not been the best.
I guess I'm just trying to find someone who gets it. This isn't something I feel like the average person who I've talked to about anxiety understands. Who else has panic attacks in the freezer aisle of the grocery store, work or at baby showers? My senses feel so heightened to any stimuli. I cant keep putting on a brave face and hearing people's surprise when I tell them how anxious I am all the time. "But you're so calm! You seem so chill!" Ugh. I must mask it well because I'm internally combusting. This doesnt feel like it will ever relent, and I'm starting to just feel anxious and depressed, chronically. I cant live like this anymore, and I'm losing all hope of improving.
Thank you so much for reading!
| 3 |
i need help. my best friend wants to end her life.
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she is also my related cousin so me, her sister and her parents have all been watching her and been with her for the past few days. they are forcing her to be admitted to get psychiatric help today. i've been a fucking mess and i don't know what to do. she is acting like she has her mind made up and im scared for the day they think she's okay and let her go because i'm almost certain i'll lose her then. i'm grieving her and i havent even lost her. i am so scared. i cant lose her. does anyone have advice as to what i can do to support her and show her how needed and loved she is here?
| 8 |
Holistic Health Support: 1. How my Life Story Can Offer Lessons that Change Your Life 2. Learning to be Mentally & Emotionally Tough as a Child from these Biggest Mistakes 3. Science Based Tips to Live Happier & Overcome Major Depression Part
|
Hi everyone, I've been a Nurse for about 6 years but I am planning to quit to pursue my real passion for creating videos on YouTube about holistic health, which includes different aspects of health like physical, mental, social, financial, and spiritual so if you would like to join me with this endless personal development journey, please subscribe! I’m here to share any personal development topics. I’m not getting paid for creating content but I do love helping others grow with me. Therefore, after years of inconsistent planning, procrastinating, and overly thinking about how to start a YouTube channel, I finally decided to just fucking start it because planning without taking actions is just wishful thinking and it’s just completely garbage. That inaction was stemming from many of my excuses like my hypothetical fear of judgment by others about my appearance, accent, educational background, lack of skills, you name it.
It made me admit that I’m just one little piece of this huge universe, which allows me to tackle life’s priorities over trivialities. I used to be neurotic about what others may think of me to the point that I couldn't even reveal my real gender identity and not even say a word at any party but I learned how to care and not to care in a balanced way because not caring about others’ opinions or judgment is a matter of spectrum and this applies to any types of behaviors. Caring too much is one extreme of the spectrum such as letting your partner punch you and walk all over you but you care too much about what others may think or you just care too much about your partner so you take little to no actions to get out of that trap.
#### I just started my channel last month and I only have 3 videos so far, which include a trailer about my life story that is about how I overcame childhood traumas, major depression, and being holistically well. Part of this story is my gender transition from female to male
#### I swear, this channel will certainly help you about different aspects of health as all of my content is genuine. I will be diving even deeper on my later episodes until it gets to the point of where I am in life compared to who I was.
#### I’m not better than anyone but my old self. We all have different journeys and hardships we overcame.
#### My journey may be harder or easier than what other people went through but it’s not really about how similar or different the journey is. It’s rather about learning from each other and from our past to make our present and future better as much as we can.
#### I’m simply sharing mine to hopefully share lessons that others could also learn from. For the most part, there’s nothing better to do than making others feel loved but it always starts from self-love as corny as it may sound.
#### I am thanking anyone who is doing the best he/she can to be better in whatever that aspect of life because doing so can mean so much for someone who’s going through tough times. Being a great example for others is like the ripple effect.
#### My next episode will be about how I overcame childhood traumas, abandonment, major depression, and verbal and physical abuse with the hope of inspiring as many people as I can by these stories.
#### Please hit that subscribe button, leave a comment for any feedback that I can learn from, like the video if you indeed like it, and share it so I can reach more viewers that could potentially benefit from this. The YouTube algorithm will automatically show any videos that get more engagement by viewers so I’d really appreciate it if you could do that for me to support my channel. You’ll automatically get notified whenever I upload.
#### Part of this story is my gender transition from female to male. to help me achieve my goals of helping as many people as I can about living holistically healthy and by that I simply mean thriving in this modern era where capitalism is more prominent than fulfillment and genuine happiness, which is a long-term game.
Thanks so much for your time! :)
My YouTube channel:[ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZiy1y0PimJbAof0JcGAzFw](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZiy1y0PimJbAof0JcGAzFw)
My 1st Video (I Almost Died Twice: How my Life Story Can Offer Lessons that Change Your Life | Trailer):[ https://youtu.be/eeIPRTIlO4o](https://youtu.be/eeIPRTIlO4o)
My 2nd Video (Life Story P1: Learning to be Mentally & Emotionally Tough as a Child from these Biggest Mistakes):[ https://youtu.be/JasGBQXtQk8](https://youtu.be/JasGBQXtQk8)
YouTube Shorts (Science Based Tips to Live Happier & Overcome Major Depression Part 1[ https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nDRI\_c6zby8](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nDRI_c6zby8)
| 1 |
What’s with me and my heart
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I always feel like I have heart issues. I had a echocardiogram stress test done December. I had few troponin done. I had X-ray done I had another ultrasound done and basic blood work done and all this was from December till early February. Everything was fine but I always feel like cause it's been so long that i might have something now. What's with me...
| 1 |
Jai and Kai...rt
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Never cared
She never did. I am dying and literally calling my mom bestfriend and ex wife and they are ready to watch me die....... what the fuck is happening when did I become the bad buy for being honest and faithful? Why couldn't someone just call an ambulance and say I need help....... why couldn't someone love me.....
| 1 |
Any advice on forcing self to study through a depressive episode? Urgent
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Title. I dont know if it's appropriate for me to post here since my issues are far less deserving of support but I do need advice ASAP.
Been unable to study for over 1.5 months because of a depressive episode and also running out of antidepressants/anti-anxieties recently.
But I need to start ASAP because I have one month until exams and can't stand every day being "struggle to get out of bed, sit in front of blank homework for 14 hours, go to bed feeling guilty for not studying, socialising, or doing anything fun all day"
Any advice please? Any at all
| 1 |
Old enemy new war
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Been having a pretty intense emotional week, stress, change, and claustrophobia.
I haven’t been going through a bad time that much in fact i’ve had some pretty good luck. But my anxiety is through the roof when i’m home. All day at work at this high stress job with all this new industry information coming at me and i’m as calm as a palm giving shade to Tom.
But when I’m home and trying to relax I just can’t. I read people’s emotions wrong, I essentially pick fights because of it. I just can’t seem to get along with anyone here. The kids and pets are pretty much the only exception. Every adult in my home I feel like I’m at war with.
I say the wrong things
I do the wrong things
I breathe the wrong way
I don’t know what it is.
Well besides me.
I am actually causing all of this, I can’t be normal. I haven’t had this feeling in years and I loathe the fact I have to suffer with it. Especially right now. I’m needed to be there for others and I can’t even be there for myself. Why do I create this self destruction that usually sends me into a Phoenix pattern. Why is this happening?
| 1 |
how do you motivate yourself to do basic hygiene again….
|
i’m 23 and suffered with depression since the age of 11- okay so this may sound pretty gross to some and it may sound pretty normal to the few.
but for the past 7 years i’ve struggled with basic self care to the point i won’t brush my hair for months, a tooth brush would barley if not at all touch my teeth and the thought of a shower seems too much.
it’s gotten to the point i suffer badly with tooth ache (which is being treated) i do see a mental health nurse and my GP regularly but i feel like i’m being passed from one possible diagnosis to the next…
does anyone have any tips on how they motivate themselves to do basic self care? my partner helps me brush the mattes out my hair which is so embarrassing but he completely understands and helps without judgement which i’m grateful for.
i just wish basic hygiene wasn’t so hard when i fall into my depressive episodes..
| 29 |
Bad anxiety
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I'm working on leaving my abuser and my anxiety is so bad. I'm waiting on housing so I can go but I'm so anxious that I'm nauseous everyday and have to take something for it. I'm not on anxiety meds atm but have an appointment with my primary later this morning and am going to have a long talk with him. I walk on eggshells everyday all day so it doesn't start shit with him. I'm in intensive therapy and my therapist is wonderful. She did a test on me yesterday and it came up as severe anxiety. I'm hoping he will be able to temporarily put me on something to help. I just don't know how much more I can take.
| 2 |
Withdrawal from psych meds
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Is it normal to get relapse depression and obsessive compulsive thoughts back when stopping and switching meds? My old meds weren’t quite doing the trick, so I had to stop, and im slowly upping the dose on a new one, but the last few weeks while all of this is happening have been terrible. I have cried/and or had panic attacks most days. my 5 year old dog is very perceptive of my feelings and it’s even beginning to bother him. I just need to know if this is normal. I’m switching from cymbalta to lexapro b/c of obsessive thoughts. I was on 60mg of cymbalta for a good amount of time, but then started 120mg about 6 weeks ago. The dr then decided to just try a new med altogether, and weened me off of the 120mg, and im on 10mg of lexapro right now, and will start 20mg next week. It’s been a process getting off of the 120mg of cymbalta. But is it normal to be this bad with the crying and panic attacks? I knew the brain zaps and brain fog would be horrible, but didnt realize how bad the other stuff would be.
| 3 |
Waking up feeling drugged, hungover, spaced-out, dazed, etc
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I often wake up after a long night of wild dreams and sleeping in very late feeling like a space zombie. I mean, it almost feels like I've been lobotomized during the night. I don't drink or do drugs though.
This usually happens during really stressful times when I have a load of things on my mind and am dealing with lots of PTSD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, etc.
Like last night I had this entire encyclopedia of wild and vivid dreams and woke up feeling like all I could do was just sit there and stare at the wall like a zombie. Here it is hours later and I still feel really looped-out. Ugh!.
Anyone else here deal with this?.
| 2 |
Helpless
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My health anxiety is driving me nuts for an hour now. Symptoms like epigastric pain, chest pain, radiating to arm and back ended me up three times in the ER and two different doctors. While they all say heart is fine based on tests they did it's hard for me to believe. For example today I have heartburn but I just want to believe it's my heart troubling me which brings more anxiety and symptoms. May be I didn't have heart attack last week but having one now. There isn't any surity that you can't have an heart attack a week following normal results. Sorry I know I'm sounding nuts but that's exactly what's I'm going through at this time ;(
| 6 |
Anyone else here go through this?
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So...your whole day was just fantastic. You finally got the car fixed, had a great day at work, got the lawn mowed, had a great convo with an old friend, won 100.00 in a scratch-off ticket and finally got a huge list of things you have been putting off forever done. A few beers, a fantastic dinner...the whole day has just been perfect!.
But now, your sitting in front of the TV about to chill-out and wind down for the day. No longer busy and distracted, your mind is suddenly flooded with dark thoughts. You start thinking about Grandma's stay in the nursing home and how she passed away. Then, you think about your dog that you had to have put to sleep. The person at the grocery store who bumped into you without saying "excuse me". That "cancerous" bump on your arm. That bill you still haven't paid. On and on it goes. You start fretting, over-thinking, re-living events, catastrophizing, obscessing until your just about ready to have a mental breakdown.
Suddenly, your good day feels like a horrible one. Instead of a feeling of satisfaction over having had a great day, your left with feelings of sadness, anxiety, depression, anger, etc. The whole day feels ruined.
Then, you go to bed with a busy mind, don't sleep well, have terrible nightmares and wake up with a busy mind and have trouble getting back to sleep.
Anyone else go through this cycle?. Ugh!.
| 23 |
I feel like something is coming and I am not prepared for it.
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I have tried thinking of everything that it could be. My work schedule is easy, nothing major happening in life, no trip coming, no big movie coming that I am excited for or some big purchase.
But I feel with absolute certainty that something is coming. I feel helpless. I have tons of energy in my legs but my arms are just noodles. I don’t want to order in or make food. I just want to binge watch some casual anime and waste away.
I dont know why. I have everything but just feel empty. My work is my own, entrepreneur so its my passion project but its steady and at a level where I can take breaks whenever I feel like. I feel stuck, helpless, anxious about whatever’s coming and just in this limbo. My mind wants to be so much more, i want to read articles, research, and get more data in but the general mood is just off.
| 3 |
Are some people just doomed to suffer?
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I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried medication, nothing is helping me. Maybe some people are meant to suffer with no way out other than death.
| 33 |
Struggling to Connect with Others: Navigating the Challenge of Feeling Misunderstood
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As I approach my mid-thirties, I feel like I'm at a crossroads. On one hand, I have a stable job, a loving family, and the opportunity to travel and see more of the world. But on the other hand, I feel increasingly isolated and misunderstood.
I'm not sure why, but I've always had a strong drive to be more than just average. I'm always striving to achieve more, whether it's earning more money, buying nicer things, or pursuing new experiences. Yet, despite all of this, I often feel empty inside.
I think part of the problem is that I struggle to connect with others. I feel like people see me as arrogant or judgmental, even when that's not my intention. It seems like any time I try to share my perspective or offer constructive criticism, I'm met with hostility or defensiveness.
For example, my wife recently mentioned that she was interested in pursuing graphic design as a career. I gently suggested that while it could be a great hobby, she might want to consider the potential impact of AI on the job market. I never intended to be hurtful or dismissive, but she took it as a personal attack.
I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid offending people or coming across as too critical. It's exhausting, and it only reinforces my sense of loneliness and isolation.
Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope with the feeling of being misunderstood or judged? I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.
| 2 |
Not doing well
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My existential OCD is so severe right now. I spend hours online trying to find answers to unanswerable questions, I have to ‘check’ my and every other person’s actions, words, feelings to see if they are ‘good’ or just a way to cover up or distract from our misery ( hard to explain but makes sense in my head). Literally everything I used to enjoy I question and find flaws with and life feels like an unreal nightmare and I can’t stop questioning the nature of reality and it’s driving me insane.
I’m on Zoloft and buspar but they don’t seem to be helping. I have Klonopin but i just saw an article that benzodiazepines cause cancer so now I have no relief.
I’m seeing a somatic therapist for the first time on Friday and I hope she can help.
I just want to wake up from this nightmare
| 3 |
Lamictal for anxiety and unipolar depression?
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Has anyone had great success with this medicine for anxiety and low moods, panic attacks and ocd thoughts. It helped me 5 years ago but my anxiety and depression came back from alot of stress in my life, I am on 50 mg now and move up 100mg in a few days. I've noticed it helping a little but just wondering if anyone has taken lamictal for anxiety and depression or is taking it for these reasons. Thanks
| 3 |
Pms/pmdd
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Lamictal has helped anyone with anxiety and depression through pms or pmdd, my symptoms are heightened during this time and I'm hoping lamictal helps this eventually or what does anyone take to help moods and anxiety during pms before and during cycle?
| 1 |
Hi all, I’m fucked.
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I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and chronic depression when I was 15, but I’ve been struggling with anxiety and Panic attacks since I was 9! Now, (f 27) I reached the low bottom of my life and there is nothing more I can do to make things better.
I have a shitty job, an awful boss who hates me and I did not complete my graduation because I didn’t finish the TCC (conclusion of the course thesis). I lost many years in an amazing graduation (one of the best Universities of my Country) but I have no strength to finish this circle and I’ve been panicking with the idea of loosing those years but, by the other hand, I have not a single motivation to conclude this. Therefore, I can not move to a better job. I can not afford better things.
I have an amazing boyfriend who supports me. He got a job in Europe and I moved with him for this new country that I hate. I hate the weather, I hate the rain, I hate the fact that there is no sun at all. And it only made my depression to get worse and worse.
Even my boyfriend, who’s always been so supportive, is now getting tired of my bullshit. He thinks that he is the only one that is actually worried about my graduation- but I’ve been having panic attacks for years because of this. And I CANT talk to him about it because it makes me sick to my stomach. I feel ashamed that I let it happen to me. I feel ashamed that I date a guy who is intelligent and has everything figured out in his life. He has a great job, great feedbacks, receives a great salary. And I should be growing with him - but I have the impression that I’m just holding him back. For example: if I had completed my graduation I would have a better job by now, and we could have a better life. I think it’s a matter of time until he snaps out of this bullshit that I dragged him into.
I feel paralyzed. I feel disgusted by myself. I feel ashamed and I can’t even cry. I’m on medication (for years) that works because I haven’t tried to kill myself (even though it seems the more logical thing to do) but maybe those medication also stops me from getting any emotions (?). I have no will to conclude my stuff, I haven’t felt happiness in MONTHS. I miss my family so much, but I’m a lazy piece of shit who doesn’t even CALL them because I’m afraid it will make me suffer more.
I’ve tried therapy but it didn’t help. My therapist just told me things that I already now - like: “you should finish your graduation”. Yes, of course, but HOW?
How do I swallow all this shame of being the last one in my class to finish? How do I find the strength to develop a thesis? How?
I’m just feeling worse and having nightmares every single day. And my boyfriend is mad at me because I received an email from my university saying that I can loose my graduation. I completely understand his anger. I’m angry at myself too.
Sorry for this. And English is not my first language. If you have any advice or story to share, feel free. Thank you.
| 6 |
Crippling anxiety and depression no matter what I do I can’t get rid of it help me please?
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I was a lady’s man and in sales till I was 38 a real people person. I was using uppers and downers at the same time and committed a violent crime on a pedo sex offended. I was looking at 25 to life no I didn’t kill him just missed him up bad. They DA hit me with some crazy charges, but the voices told me to do it. So long story short I was not guilty reason of insanity. The jail part for 6 months was bad, but the maximum security mental hospital I had to go to for 90 days was hell on earth. I never had a day of anxiety or depression till I was released from that hell hole. Now for the last 5 years I have lived with major anxiety and depression I can’t come out of it. No matter what prescription I have tried they don’t work. Talk therapy doesn’t work my shrink doesn’t work. I don’t know I live in low income one bed room apartment and do nothing all day and night. I’m scared to even go into a gas station. Some of it is shame cuz I live in a small town and everyone knows I went crazy. People tell me I should be proud of what I did to save 2 young kids from a monster. I really don’t feel that way at all and should have took different actions. I have a dog to keep me company it helps some with my depression but the anxiety is crippling. I used drugs for over 20 years and have been clean for 5.
| 12 |
"Affective Presence" (I am ****ing annoying)
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I'm 27, male. ADHD & Depression just go so great together 🙃. I got used to bullying in school so it didnt really bother me, but in college I started noticing how people reacted around me after certain periods of time, people like fraternity brothers and sorority girls. People avoiding me, not telling me about parties, saying hi to me but not bothering to have a conversation. But it was my roommates that gave it away for me: every roommate I have had started out as friends or friendly only for them to hate me by the end of it. I wasnt doing anything specifically to get on their nerves, I'm just f_cking annoying! One of my previous bosses gave me "the fade" - they didnt have anything to fire me for so they scheduled me a little less every week until I got the message. another boss let me go after only a week citing "over staffing". My ex got tired of me real quick and left me the week before valentine's day. I was hanging out with one of my friends today (3/20/2023) and we both over heard his roommate talking sh_t about me over the phone. I'm just f_cking annoying. 😭
| 3 |
feeling very disconnected and confused
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TW: derealization, depersonalization, anxiety, depression
hi, so a few days ago i had a really bad depersonalization and derealization panic attack and then an anxiety attack the morning after and now i feel so strange. now that all the panic and anxiety is gone i feel unsettled, like i shouldn’t be this okay. i’m still anxious but i guess in comparison to how bad i felt i almost feel weird that i’m not freaking out?? i have also been feeling so confused. it’s like i know i’m here and i know i’m real, but like i just feel very out of place and disconnected? i think it’s just derealization but it’s just got me questioning life, like why am i here? what is the point and the reason? is there a reason? it all sounds very normal when i type it, like i’ve heard so many people say those things before. but i just feel like i am alone in my own little world and i can’t help but feel that i’m different, that my mind is different. i almost feel like i know too much. i’d rather go back to being a kid and just do things and have fun instead of actually thinking about it, yk? i just find it hard to enjoy things in the moment when all i can see is the inevitable impending doom that exists waiting and approaching upon us all, me, everyone else, and the earth itself. i’m sure a lot of you will say “well nobody knows why we’re alive, so just enjoy it while you’re here.” which i agree and i want to, but i just don’t know how. i guess this is just my depression, but it kinda feels more like i’m numb. i find it so hard to connect with people because i’ve been feeling left out, not in the social aspect, just in the reality sense. things don’t really bother me too much but they also don’t excite me. anyone else feel this way? and does anyone know how i can help myself? any commented would be appreciated, thanks for reading and i hope you all have a wonderful day. <3
| 8 |
Getting dumber and dumber
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It's so difficult to study, focus and concentrate. Everyone gets a degree and i do not
| 3 |
My anxiety is getting worse
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So, I was formally diagnosed at a young age (9 years old) and put on paxil at 13. Last year, I stopped taking it. (For context, I started taking paxil everyday ayt 13, and stopped all together when I turned 30.) My withdrawl symptoms lasted about 10 months.
Fast forward to now. My husband and I got a dog and I kid you not I would die for her. At first, I was ok. I was on paxil at the time we got her so my worries were not as bad. She was a normal puppy. Then I got off the paxil. Suddenly, I'm worried about EVERYTHING. Especially her. If I'm not there with her, my mind starts coming up with worse case scenarios. It came to a head today. My husband wanted to get something and have his parents watch the dog. My gut twisted. I love his parents, but they don't understand you can't let a dog just run around outside with no supervision. Especially their yard. We already patched several holes in their fence. Even knowing that I start spiraling. When I voiced this, he shot back that I didn't trust him or his parents. And heres the thing, I want to trust them, but my mind and body are screaming at me that its not a good idea to. And my mind races and obesses, to the point where I'm on the toilet at work typing this out because I need to get it out. If its not our dog, its always something else. My brain won't shut off. And its getting worse. But I really, REALLY don't want to be on meds again. It felt freeing that I didn't have to swallow a bunch of meds and I thought I had this under control but...its breaking me. And of course, after this I'll go into a low depression because theres no stable line with me. My therapist is working on it with me but I don't want to hurt people with my worries.
| 2 |
Six Years.
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It’s been six years since the night that I was seriously considering attempting. I started crying because I’m so happy I didn’t, and I’ve never felt that emotion before. It does get better.
| 20 |
Planning my trip to who knows where!
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Like my name says I’m planning to start my new life and have been thinking about packing up my things and hoping in my car and driving until I don’t know when..the toughest part is not having a plan or anyone to spend time with.
My current life is making me more depressed than ever and giving me anxiety attacks nearly daily. I doubt anyone would miss me or notice I was gone.
I just want to disappear and write and make dumb videos lol I know it’s childish and stupid but I seriously don’t know what else to do. I need to just rip the band aid off and go..
| 3 |
I’m torn over what to do
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So I work in retail and the jobs been getting worse (lack of staff, too much to do in a short space of time, some people picking up other people’s slack).
I’ve always had anxiety but recently I’ve started to get chest pains and dizziness when I’m in work and only when I’m in work.
I saw my doctor a few days ago and she wants to send me for an ECG just to make sure the chest pains are anxiety and not anything sinister.
She gave me a sick note for 2 weeks but I’m scared to put it in and here’s why
1) I work with my boyfriend and he stresses in work himself and he doesn’t think me being off will help ( i had a few weeks off last year and he thinks it’s just in my head and also he’s worried about the money aspect).
2) I’m terrified of losing my job which I can’t stand being in and my anxiety makes me think everyone’s gonna hate me and to just suck it up and get on with it. My work place can be quite bitchy and the management care more about the job than the staff.
I just feel like sometimes my partner doesn’t have my back and is only concerned about how it’s going to effect him. I think he thinks maybe it’s just an excuse. I have some past childhood trauma I’m working through and I understand I can’t just stop working over that but that job is gonna kill me.
What should I do?
| 3 |
every strange thing that’s happened in the last 24 hours. please read .
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14M. As a bit of background, I am currently in therapy for anxiety , depression OCD and for the last six weeks i have been on 50mg of sertraline a day and 2 lots of 20mg promethazine a day.
since yesterday morning, i haven’t felt great but i atleast thought that the medication was working . was feeling depressed a bit the night before but something was drastically different.
I woke up and felt like i was incoherent but i wasn’t and began to feel very depressed. i put it down to just a bad day and i read online sertraline can cause depressive feelings . i continued on with my day not worrying until the nighttime .
just before i was going to get into bed ,something didn’t feel right. i started to feel strange in ways i can’t describe and I had these 1 second headaches in the same spot every 5-10 minutes . my memory then began to feel weird and i checked my blood pressure which was normal.
I then grabbed my playstation controller and headset and put it by my bedside which i never do . i always leave it on my desk. this freaked me out , but then again that could just be down to tiredness .
I got into bed and checked by blood pressure again. all normal. but something didn’t feel right at all. it felt like i was living in yesterday and then i suddenly got this strange feeling and this is the best way of describing it: it felt like I wasn’t conscious but i was at the same time . like to recall my memory it feels like none of that happened except it did . the world felt deaf and it felt like time was no longer linear . i felt as if i couldn’t process things properly, if at all. and thought brain bleed.
I then went to the bathroom and felt panicked but didn’t show it . I checked my pupils and they were fine . i then went back to my bedroom and began to text people ok reddit for advice and said it all sounds like anxiety.
at this point my brain was telling me that I was forgetting something but i don’t know what, because that’s the whole point of forgetting something . I began to feel like I was in a delirious state and i felt as if i couldn’t hang on to a thought process.
I was worried as this was not normal for me so i woke up my dad and told him what was happening . at this point when I was trying to read something i searched up on google , the words looked jumbled and i had to read it again. this has never been an issue before and i certainly don’t have dyslexia , so this made me worry .
I explained to my dad that the way I was feeling was not normal, so i asked him if I could call 111 (urgent care number) . I explained to them my situation and i was put on call later to a man who literally asked my father what he thought he should do if i was feeling delirious . at this point i realised it was pointless . he basically said it sounds like nothing physically but i disagreed.
Exhausted of all my options , i decided to go to sleep. I got around 7 hours and slept straight through and had vivid detailed dreams .
I woke up around 11am after going to bed around 4am. I still had memory troubles but not nearly as bad as the night before . I tried to convince myself I was fine and realised i still felt strange and the letters looked a bit jumbled still. I’ve tried to brush it off all day but still feeling weird. a recent feeling in the past 6-7 hours i’ve attained is the feeling like i’m waking up and suddenly realising i’m doing something while i’m doing it subconsciously . but if i backtrack and i try to remember it all feels fine. just not in the moment. this is the thing that is freaking me out .
any advice please ? any at all? does this sound like a brain bleed /mental confusion/delirium? or could this be explained by anxiety / derealization /tiredness? so scared honestly don’t know what to do.
| 1 |
Feeling lost
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About a year ago my partner and I returned home from 4 years of travel, 2 of which we lived in Vermont. We are now back in the Midwest where we grew up and I am struggling…I’m struggling with missing the lifestyle I had in Vermont, the friends and connections I made, and the opportunities to be outside and explore a beautiful place anytime I wanted.
Being back was great at first, and my partner is extremely close with his family. I love my family but I often do better with some distance between us. As we’ve settled in back home I keep dreaming and thinking of Vermont and actually LIVING there, not just going for a visit.
We are recently engaged and I know this is the man I want to marry, but lately I’ve been terrified at how much I miss Vermont and know he would never move back bc of his family and the age were at and not wanting to be away from them for big life things down the road (kids, wedding etc). I even think worst case if I moved back would I even be happy there bc he’s not there with me?? I feel like I’m slowly getting more anxious, depressed and my panic attacks have started again bc I don’t feel happy and it’s terrifying.
I guess I’m just looking to relate to anyone that has felt this before…to tell me I’m not doomed staying here or our marriage will be doomed…that’ll it’ll get better??
Just looking for some encouragement and help honestly. Feeling desperate.
| 1 |
Yesterday I can’t explain how I feel because I was literally hurt but assumptions..
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The person I was with showed me how quickly he can switch up and treat like nothing and it’s not the first time this has happened.. I thought I had an back up plan but my back up plan was ruined but something I don’t want to mention cause it hurts to actually know if I we’re to go back home I will be coming back to nothing.. and I’m like left in tears and hurt.. the person that knows my issues knew I would need that but still didn’t care.. all I can do rn is feel numb to certain emotions because I do know what I deserve…
| 1 |
strange perception of time it feels like i’m living in yesterday when it’s actually the present. is this an emergency?
| null | 4 |
Just ready to be done with life
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I don't really want to get into all the details about what's lead me to this point let's just say relationship/mental issues. I'm not here to be dramatic or seek attention. I'm not looking for advice or someone telling me it's going to be OK I just want to get it out there somewhere outside my head, hell why not strangers on the internet who can't really personally judge me, right?
Well anyways I've reached a point in life I realize there's just no going back and I mean that very generalized and undoubtedly knowing I'm just to far gone this time. There's no going back to that place of joy and peace in my mind or being with the ones I love. There's just a vast empty darkness on my horizon. My mental problems make a healthy social life without alcohol nearly unattainable and alcohol causes way too many problems in my general life so let's not do that. So now what just live a boring empty sober life nope don't think so. The only way out of my head and the mess I've made in my life is a bullet ripping through my brain and shutting it all down. That's the only thought that gives me piece just imagining myself squeezing the trigger and my brain matter splattering out the side of my head. I'm just done with this life, i don't fucking want it and never asked to exist in this pointless world anyways. I guess if I had one question would be does anybody really even know why we're all here? What's the point of repopulating the earth for more generations to die off and be replaced just to repeat the whole process time and time again? What's the goal or reasoning for humans or any life for that matter? If there was just nothing what the fuck would that even be like?
| 2 |
i feel super strange and forgetful like i can’t process what i’m doing . no other symptoms except 1 second headaches every 10 minutes .is this normal when tired?
| null | 4 |
What does one do in energy limbo?
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I sometimes find myself in a place of fidgety suffering. I am too exhausted and overworked from fighting myself and the world, and I just need to lay down and go to sleep. But at the same time I'm an overachiever with a malfunctioning fight or flight response and thus I have too much energy to lay down and relax. My mind can't work but I feel like I have to move, to do something. Energy Limbo.
What the hell do I do? Best I can manage is just fidget with my screens, but that became a lot harder when I decided to kick Twitter out of my life. I don't have enough energy to play games, reading visual novels is annoying because 99% of them suck (If only Butterfly Soup had more sequels I would be set for life), reading actual novels is just too much, watching tv is a hassle, watching youtube is boring, and sleeping is never an option. I can't talk to anyone because they're either asleep, busy or don't care. I can't focus on work because at this point I'm too apathetic to care about stuff like that. What do I do?
| 3 |
A bad day/month
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Honestly. I’m doing terrible. My relationship is falling apart. My academic career is falling apart. I had to text my director to tell her this… her answer seemed like they aren’t worried about how my grades pan out (not failing but not allowed to get below a B+) and are just focused on helping me. She said she will contact me tomorrow with more information as she has never had s student in crisis before since she took the seat (4yrs ago) which also makes me feel like shitty. Like in the last 4 years only my life as fallen apart this much in 8 months. I honestly could just use someone to talk to. I feel like no matter what I do it’s all falling apart. I’m trying my best to pick up the pieces but it all feel so overwhelming. I have no time to grieve or process what’s happening because it’s finals and I’m just working my ass off trying not to make what’s bad worse. I just feel like a failure. I know we are supposed to give ourselves grace and be kind to ourselves but I feel like every aspect of my life is just going to the shitter. I know I’m capable of being better than this. So why can’t I just be better?? I just wanna lay down and feel everything I need to feel but I can’t because I have stuff that needs my attention and needs to be done. I’m so tired. I wake up every morning crying, anxiety chases me all day, and at night the depression is just waiting for me to crawl into bed. I miss who I used to be. I don’t know how to get back to who I used to be. I feel like I have so much of myself to everything and everyone else and now that I need myself there’s nothing left. I want to be okay. I’m trying. It just feels impossible.
| 13 |
Cycling Meds for Depression/Social Anxiety
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I suffer from depression and social anxiety since I was 15 years old (symptoms occured even before but with 15 I started noticing it very clearly, with 17 I first started going to a psychiatrist and therapist). Now I'm 23 and tried 3 different forms of therapies as well as over 14 different types of meds. Nothing helped so far, nothing reduced my symptoms. It's now called treatment resistant depression and even my doc says normal therapy is not effective for my type of depression, it definitely is caused biochemically/neurologically/biologically.
Except for my very last one: Lyrica. Lyrica helps at least a bit and makes my anxiety and depression a bit better. But I know Lyrica can cause dependance and horrible withdrawal as well as tolerance, so best would be to not use it daily but only as rarely as possible. I don't want to use any substance daily at all anyways, cause I've been through many horrible withdrawals. Hence my plan of cycling substances, meds, supplements, whatver to finally have a painless life.
My doc wanted to try every possible med left with me, so she's very open for new meds, which I'm too. She mentioned Tianeptine to try on me soon as - as said - Im trying my 15th med now without success or symptom reduction, for years, 2 depth psychological (analytical) and 1 cognitive behavioral therapy failed to help. I also do sports weekly (tennis and/or gym, skiing sometimes).
I might just take it if needed then, even if she prescribes it for daily. I mean, if it‘s an opioid and one says even harder to get off than oxy… Maybe if needed same as my Lyrica so one can switch them to reduce risk of tolerance/dependance/withdrawal of each. A 3rd med of different class would still be better to have a good cycle and get maybe at least 3, maybe even 5, worthful to live days and free of suffering days a week. 2 days completely off then.
Any idea? Lyrica is gabapentinoid = calcium channels, a teeny bit of GABA receptors itself too. Tianeptine is opioid = opioid receptors. What else could be added but not using the same receptor or system? What about Buspirone, Hydroxyzine, Clonazepam? So far I only have found Lyrica & Kratom to be helpful (even if it's not "curing" me, just making my day and symptoms by maybe 20-50% better, but only if not taken daily - hence the need for a cycle and not taking any similar chemical daily)
As I don't want to use any similar chemical daily or many days in a row or a week at all and in the best case only one neurotransmitter/CNS system once a week max, I thought about cycling following, each one only once a week to reduce any risk of possible dependance, withdrawal or tolerance:
**Voltage gated calcium channels (Gabapentionoid):**
* **Lyrica (Pregabalin)** => said to don't have much GABAergic affinity on its own, rather acts indirectly and weakly on GABA, hence hess less risk of cross tolerance with GABAergics (if I should add any GABAergic as a benzo to my cycle, too)
**Opioidergic:**
* **Tianeptine** (opiodergic antidepressant)
* **Kratom** (legal opioidergic plant) => question is, how strong would the cross-tolerance with Tianeptine be if used with a break of many days in between as both are opiodergic afaik?
**GABA:**
* Benzodiazepine => Valium/Diazepam didn't work so I told my doc to quit my script for it as I don't find any use for it => a friend of mine with very similar symptoms had great experience with Clonazepam instead
**Dopamine and/or Norepinephrine:**
* **Ritalin**
* **Adderall**
* **Modafinil**
* or similar AD(H)D stimulant medication
* => big issue: I guess I only have a 10% chance of getting any of these stimulant AD(H)D meds cause even if I strongly suffer from symptoms very similar to ADD (without the H for hyperactivity) no doc ever wanted to test me for ADD as long as my depression and anxiety weren't cured, that's why I never got a diagnosis until now and now docs tell me, you can mainly only get a diagnosis for ADD if it has been diagnosed in the childhood or when one has been very young, also one had to have very bad grades in school for one of the diagnosis checks => so my school grades have only been medium bad, not very bad + I'm now 23 and maybe a bit too late for school medicine to hop on the ADD train even if I always had the thought of suffering from ADD cause of my very bad cognitive symptoms (focus, memory etc.) + ADD goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety and might be a cause of these symptoms afaik (so why the hell no doc ever tested me for it before trying to always continue treating me with typical depression therapy and meds instead of giving the ADD train a go???)
**Other psychiatric medication** (with need of a prescription by my doc) I thought of to add to cycle for the other left days in my week full of suffering that may be helpful for finally making my life painless and livable:
* **Hydroxyzine**
* **Buspirone**
* **Lamictal**
* **Abilify**
* **Amisulpride**
* **Selegiline**
* any other ideas? as said my doc is really open to try new meds with me cause she knows how desperate and treatment-resistant I am and have been for years now
**OTC meds/supplements/herbs** I thought of to add to cycle for the other left days in my week full of suffering that may be helpful for finally making my life painless and livable:
* **Kava:** legal anxiolytic plant, had some good experiences with it reducing my symptoms strenghts, being anxiolytic and antidepressant BUT it's a big hit and miss, causing skin issues for me (when taken some days daily in a row) and very expensive, hence surely also nothing to take daily => ALSO: there's not much science about rather it's **GABAergic** or also rather a **voltage gated calcium channel blocker (VGCC blocker)** as Lyrica, or how it really works, but it's said to not have any physical dependance or withdrawal issues or risk => question again, is there any cross tolerance with Lyrica or Benzodiazepines?
* **DXM (Dextromethorphane): dissociative antitussive** => originally a cough medicine, now officially used for depression and I already read years ago many times about people using it to self medicate their depression and anxiety in non-trip-doses (cause some people abuse it in mega-doses to get a psychedelic trip from it, which I never planned or wanted to)
* **Kanna (Sceletium tortuosum): natural SSRI** => sadly never noticed any effects from it when I tried the plain herb as well as extract orally or sublingually in low to medium dosage (some swear on having to take it intranasally to get antidepressant/anxiolytic effects but I already hate the thought of having to take something through my nose)
* Gotu Kola => seems to help a bit, might be good for my "off-days" off "real stronger medication"
* Lemon Balm => seems to help a bit, might be good for my "off-days" off "real stronger medication"
* Beta Alanine => some studies promise anxiolytic effects because of it's GABAergic properties
Some probably very weak herbs having no sense to try for my severe treatment-resistant depression and social anxiety:
* Tongkat Ali => testosterone increasing, read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety
* SAM-e => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety
* Bacopa => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety
* Lions Mane Mushroom => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety
* KSM-66 (Ashwagandha) => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety BUT tried one KSM-66 product from Amazon for more than 2 weeks daily and never had success with it or any symptom reduction sadly...
* Taurine => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety BUT never worked for me, maybe I have to increase dosage to a mega dose?
* L-Theanine => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety BUT never worked for me, maybe I have to increase dosage to a mega dose?
* Silexan/Lasea (Lavender extract) => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety BUT never worked for me even after trying it for more than 2 weeks daily
* Rhodiola Rosea extract => read some reviews about people having success with it for depression and/or (social) anxiety BUT never worked for me even after trying it for more than 2 weeks daily as well as only as needed
* Akuamma
* Wild Lettuce
* Skullcap
* Mulungu
* Passion flower
* GABA (plain powder supplement of GABA, infamous for not crossing the BBB so not being able to have any psychoactive effects)
Sure, last resort for me is also still:
* stronger MAOIs as Nardil or Parnate (I already tried the weaker MAOI "Moclobemide"/"Aurorix")
* Ketamine therapy
* rTMS
* ECT
| 3 |
Anyone else unable to get excited about anything?
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You just had your new car delivered but all you can do is just stand there and stare at it like a zombie. No feelings of anticipation or excitement whatsoever. Or...
Grandma is coming over to visit. You haven't seen her in years and should be very excited but when she arrives, your anxiety goes through the roof and all you can muster up is a blank stare or fake smile. Or...
You hit the lotto but all you can think about are all the bad things that might come out of it.
Just a whole bunch of different things like these. Anyone else?. Somtimes I feel like an emotionless robot. I could win a world cruise and would probably just stay at home and stare at the wall all day )-:
| 62 |
can anyone just talk to me and message me i just really need to vent
| null | 6 |
silence
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I sit and I stew in my feelings and my pain
And i want to scream out loud and release this agony
But when I go to scream nothing comes out
It’s silent, not even a whisper or whimper
Everything is stuck inside, trapping me
I’m stuck in these emotions, in this pain
And no one will ever know
Because all around me is silence
| 2 |
Vraylar and memory
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Hello, to those who have had memory problems from antipsychotics, have you used vraylar and have such problems with it?
| 2 |
Driving trauma
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Make a long story short, I used to live with my uncle and when I finally built the courage to confront my abusive mother to get a say in my abuse and how she was quite honestly an awful women. My uncle agreed to drive me to see her, mind you he’s fucked up too and has too big of an ego and anger issues. We drive there and I’m standing there working up the courage to tell her the truth while she’s getting heated, then he suddenly gets out of the car and gets really angry. Get this, HE gets the chance to be >:( and yell at her and I’m forced to be the adult—-just like in the past with my older brother—and physically have to PULL him away as he’s screaming in her face and getting ready to get physical with her (just like older brother in the past). He’s so in his emotions I have to put him in the passenger seat and put the car in some drive and drive down the street while he’s screaming at her and she’s throwing her push and other shit at him. Worst part, younger brother is in the back seat so he’s reliving trauma too.
I now live with my step parents and my sister got annoyed—and they all have kinda been annoyed as to why I DO NOT want to get a license. “We’ll you don’t even need to get the license, you can just take the test!” The fuck? You’re talking to a guy who wasn’t able to get into a car for MONTHS—when they forced me in the psych ward I had to WALK there, I just couldn’t get in a flipping car. So yeah so I WILL NOT drive, but I frankly don’t think I need to tell random people about this (as in they will identify me irl) and consistently associate me with those ducking pity eyes. I already get those shit eyes enough, just stop it please. Idk, my therapist help with shit and tbh I’ve never really had therapists help cuz I can’t trust people with shit. Don’t get me wrong I love and I’m really greatly for my step family! But I’ve just always felt alone and excluded from I family that has had decades of life together. Oh and don’t get me started with them being white and I’m Nigerian, cultural differences and step dad being doubtful that I “made up” speaking my native language and just…. Did I make a mistake? I mean not much of a mistake when you don’t have any options with your own biological family disowning you… idk all I know right now is I ain’t driving no where near this coming years dude.
| 2 |
Derealization
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Can anyone relate?
Ever since I was little I’ve always dissociated. I’ve never had any horrible past traumas from what I can remember. However, I’ve been stuck in such a scary mental state for the past two years. Derealization I believe it is to be.
I don’t feel like I’m living. I feel like there is a film covering my eyes and I’m just watching life in a blur. My head isn’t clear enough for me to be able to cognitively think about stuff sometimes. I’ve been always able think of solutions right then and there. But now for the last almost two years I’ve been so numb. I can show emotions, but I don’t feel them. When I’m sad, I do cry but I almost feel as if there is an underlining of numbness behind the emotion. As if I actually don’t feel sad but I should so I am kinda way. It’s honestly really hard to put it into words.
My anxiety has consumed me. Has been eating away my life, my confidence, my energy, everything. I’m insecure about the simplest things. I don’t feel like I used to. I used to be so incredibly energetic, fun and never gave a damn about what people thought of me. I was super confident with myself, my appearance, my personality radiated positive energy. I feel like I lost myself entirely. I went into a complete hole that I can’t crawl out of.
I’m writing about this because I need the awareness. I need to know if others are experiencing this as well.
Thank you for taking time to read this!
| 6 |
Low pulse scard
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I. 34 male. Pretty active. Love to run. Haven't ran in a week. Need a break. I seen a cardiologist I had a full work up done. Had a echogram done with a stress test. Had EKG done. Troponin done. Another ultra sound done and few blood panel done day after Christmas. Everything was fine. Love running. Don't smoke or drink. I get low heart rate as 98/48 sometimes. I get low pulse rate as 37 when sleeping. Only condition I have is PVCs are anxiety that I see a psychiatrist for. Last few days I e been tried and even with good sleep my heart rate is like 40s and I called the doctor and told me if I'm lightheaded or pass out it's a issue but now because of it being low all day I'm pretty scared and worried something bad will happen even caffeine not doing anything so I'm scared at the moment
| 2 |
Going to Church problème
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The first time I attempted suicide was just some minutes before my family was leaving for church. I just didn't want to go even if it meant putting myself in a coma. I just hate how annoying the church members are. The service itself, preaching misogyny or things I already heard before. It's just 3hours but it's hell for me. I dissociate so much there and it's not even enough for me to escape that reality because it is so loud! I''m ranting because tomorrow is Sunday and I'm thinking of doing it again.
| 5 |
Weird anxiety
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okay I admit I for high and watched some crime documentaries then I got anxious what if I hurt/killer someone and didn’t know and I’m like WTF…
Sorry lol I think that’s just an intrusive/idea whatever… GAD/OCD… 😕
| 0 |
Anyone find and anxiety/depression med that doesn't cause insomnia?
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Anyone find an anxiety/depression med that doesn't cause insomnia? Tried zoloft and it wired me. Tried busbar 5mg am and pm and had terrible insomnia despite taking trazadone at bedtime. I'm getting so discouraged. I'm suppose to try lexapro but so afraid of the insomnia happening again. Please help!
| 4 |
how to treat serious anxiety and it got worse after a small accident
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my mom is not sleeping well for last six month and she was anxious about her work. her only thinking is about job. we took her to a psychiatrist in Oct'22 and she was given some medication. she was doing good for two months, then unfortunately my grandma fell sick and her situation started worsening. Now she recently met with a accident and she is completely restless after accident. She is always talking about some pending work which might cause harm to her reputation. How to overcome and help her to get normal.
| 2 |
Anxiety and xanax
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Ive always suffered with anxiety and of late, depression also. Ive been hospitalised on a number of occasions (in patient stays), the most recent being last week.
Ive had a particularly difficult few weeks and the doctor saw fit to prescribe xanax in addition to my other meds (duloxetine, olanzapine and mirtazapine).
I can now do my exposure tasks as given to me by my cognitive behavioural therapist. Ill take the xanax and go out and do my tasks which generally involve going outside as i had developed agoraphobia.
Problem is, what happens when the xanax is removed from the equation? Im terrified of my script from the doctor finishing. I know xanax is highly addictive and thats why its prescribed sparingly, but im worried will i be able to do my exposure work and make progress without the crutch of the xanax?
| 3 |
Nursing under eye. Concerned. Worried
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Bruise under eye. Been like that for two days. https://files.fm/u/kxaf7h3p8
| 3 |
Drink, music and all the rest.
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Listening to music whilst drinking alone. The world seems better that way but thoughts and feelings do come to spoil it. Why do we all succumb to such behaviours when we feel so low!?!
Alot is going on in my life right now, depression & Bereavement and the rest but it sucks to be listening to such beautiful music alone, if we could all share our soundtracks I wander what our moods would be like after, uplifting or sad. It's comforting to know others suffer but I do wish we didn't need to.
| 6 |
Do vraylar help with supersensitive psych caused by withdrawal of antipsychotic?
| null | 2 |
Not the author of our own story
|
Are we indeed fictional characters in someone else’s story?
Not a story about somebody else but a story in which we aren’t the author
We don’t choose what happens to us, it just happens to us
Or our life is so structured and we think we are making the choice
When we are actually being controlled and manipulated into doing
A thing that somebody else wants us to do.
I read a book today and that was what the whole first chapter was about
And since then my mind has been blown and stuck on a ferris wheel
Of what ifs, and if thens, and why does the person writing my story hate me so much
| 3 |
How to medicate when most antidepressants make me feel worse?
|
My symptoms of depression are...
- Anhedonia
- Hopelessness
- Apathy
- Hypersomnia
- Chronic emptiness and boredom
So looking at that, one might think a more activating antidepressant may be useful. Except they make me feel horrendous...
- Effexor made my anxiety / dread go through the roof
- Cymbalta made me feel suicidal and scared
- Prozac made my nervous energy HUGE, which resulted in me being constantly irritable, hyper, still bored but also restless, angry, my hands trembled, my stutter came back, my OCD tics worsened, my skin picking worsened, and I couldn't sleep. I still lay in bed all day
- Trintellix did exactly the same thing but less severe
So not only did the activating antidepressants not help ANY of my depressive symptoms, but they worsened all my pre-existing nervous energy, dread anxiety and my social anxiety.
For me, it seems having ANY energy automatically gets converted into nervous energy, irritability and way worse anxiety.
Only Zoloft and Lexapro don't cause this, but they also don't help the depressive symptoms either. They just take the edge off the irritability, probably because they make me a bit sleepy. Which is ok I guess, but my depressive symptoms remain! And in fact I get even MORE apathetic and bored!
Aurorix (Moclobemide, MAOI) also made me VERY sleepy. So much so that I had to go off it as I kept falling asleep all the time.
Is anyone else like this?? I feel like I only have 2 choices - bored, sleepy and less irritable, or VERY irritable, restless, still bored, angry and filled with dread and nerves.
| 8 |
Holidays suck
|
Anyone just want to stay in bed all day during holidays? I feel pressure that I have to go out with friends,drink and celebrate. When I go out now I feel weird, out of place and stuck in my head the whole time. I’ve been avoiding friends and isolating lately. Thinking that the Cymbalta I’m taking is making it worse. What meds have worked for you guys?
| 2 |
Will I be okay
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I get this is paranoid but I had a weird anxiety of like some guy hitting me from behind? Because I was grabbing a bottle of liquor for him and he was just like right behind me but I don’t think he did anything but I’m just anxious
| 3 |
I've wasted my life and I'm afraid it's never going to get better. (long post)
|
I'm 28 I have ADHD, Generalized Anxiety, Social Anxiety, and Depression. I don't have a job, nor am I in school. I live in the basement apartment in my mom's house with my cat. I get about $1300(CAD) a month from ODSP which I use to pay for my Rent, Groceries, Bills, and Debt.
I have one friend from highschool that I still talk to on discord, I play video games online with him and his girlfriend, and that's currently my entire social life.
The closest I come to talking with anyone else socially is through comments on YouTube and Reddit, and live chat on YouTube streams.
My last relationship ended over 5 years ago and I haven't dated since. I ended up hooking up with strangers I met on grindr (I wasn't having any luck with women so I figured I'd try men, its a hell of a lot easier to pick up men. But in the end, it wasn't for me) three separate times over the year after my last relationship ended. The first two were fine, nice guys, got together and exchanged bjs, then went home. The last one ended up being pretty traumatic, so I haven't tried since.
I graduated high-school in 2014 and went to college 4 separate times over the next 3 years. I dropped out after the first semester the first 3 times, but not in time to avoid having to pay tuition and everything else(textbooks, residence, food, etc.) And I got kicked out of the last program after the second semester because I failed 3 classes. The same week I found out I was expelled, my last girlfriend broke up with me.
I tried working at a few different jobs, and I did really well. I'm a really good worker when I'm able to be. But after a while I would start having panic attacks and would need to take time off until I just ended up quitting because I couldn't even get to work anymore.
That was 3 years ago.
I've been living day-to-day, some days are good, most are bad. I am able to take care of myself (hygiene, food, chores, etc), but that's usually about it. I spend the rest of the time watching videos/shows/movies, playing video games, and reading. If I can motivate myself, I'll go outside for walks and/or do some exercise at home (push-ups, crunches, etc)
I tried live streaming on YouTube and Twitch last year. I didn't really get any views, but I wasn't putting the effort in to building an audience. I was doing it because I figured it was the closest thing to actually working a job that I could manage. I streamed somewhere between 500-700 hours in the course of about 4 months. Then I got into a deep depression and just could not get out of it. So I haven't streamed in about a year now.
I basically did nothing for around 8 months, then about 3 months ago I started doing little projects trying to work up to getting back into streaming. I would start on a project, but I would end up getting overwhelmed so I would start procrastinating by beginning a new, different project. But I managed to get back around to finishing one of them, and I'm almost done another. So it's going better lately.
I want to be able to talk to someone, but I'm too anxious/scared/overwhelmed to find a good therapist. And my only friend isn't someone I can talk to about this kind of stuff, but I also don't know how to even start making new friends nowadays. I've never been social online outside of people I already knew in person. So I just don't know how making online friends even works, and now I'm so broken as a person that I'm scared to even try.
It's extremely frustrating because my brain is constantly fighting me, but the only person who can actually solve my problems is me. I've been through therapy multiple times and it always boils down to me needing to put in the work, and my brain want me to.
I have come a long way from how bad I was, but there is still a long way to go and every year has been passing faster and faster. So I feel like I am running out of time to start my life, but I'm still not even at the starting line; which is on a metaphorical mountain, and I'm at the metaphorical bottom with two metaphorical broken legs trying to claw my way up.
I'm tired, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm trying, and I'm stuck.
I'm actually pretty good at almost everything I do. I excel with science, math, and technology; it can take me longer to learn, but once I do, I rock that shiz. I am decent with writing and languages, I'm super good at word puzzles and puns. I love music, but never focused enough to learn it. I can't draw, and I think I might have bad colour-sense, but I really enjoy art. I like singing, but I'm too self conscious to sing in front of people, and idk if I'm any good. I think I would actually be a good actor, but I have no confidence in it. Overall I'm actually quite intelligent, but my brain will only cooperate with me for short periods of time. So I can't turn my skills into any kind of profit or academic achievements because my motivation and energy levels are so inconsistent.
Idk if there was any point to writing this, but I do feel a bit better than when I started writing, so theres that.
I probably shouldn't even bother posting this, but I wrote it so I guess I will. It's better than writing another rant just to delete it and feel like I've wasted more of my life on nothing.
| 43 |
anxiety and depression.. spinning head fast thoughts
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Does anyone else get really fuzzy in the head during this anxiety and depression where you feel like you cant think straight.. so much going on in your head like a ping pong ball where you can't focus on anything.. makes you feel really dizzy and off balance like your not quite you and stuck in your head??
How do you all cope with it and try turn it off... I just wanna be able to focus on the present and focus on one thing at a time
| 3 |
A spiritual way of doing practical decisions in life really helpful do try no sponser just resource
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https://youtube.com/shorts/4wQUlBx40Dk?feature=share
| 1 |
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