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ANY RELATION B/W THESE TWO??
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Is there a relation between gas/digestive issue and anxiety??
Because I have digestive issues and it's been 10 days of continuous bloating stuff in my stomach
which actually increase my anxiety and it's get harder to sleep at night.
are they related to each other??
| 1 |
Anyone else feel like their TOO emotionally intelligent? Does this make me a narcissist? (25F)
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I spend a lot of my time focused on myself, not in a conceited way but I overanalyze my own feelings and emotions and behavior and have constant conversations with myself in my own head. I also overanalyze other people, I'll notice different human behaviors and spiral into articles in attempt to analyze them and find meaning behind them. Even when I got a cat (never had one before) first thing I did was spiral into articles about cat behaviors in attempt to understand my cat and what he wants and needs the best I can.
I am great at customer service (if only it paid well to have this skill...) I know what people generally want to hear and I do my best to treat all customers exceptionally kindly and respectfully. I'm great socially when I know what to expect, I have my responses down to like a script. Otherwise, I have a very hard time connecting with people socially until I gain a good understanding of them and have run my inner analysis on how I should behave and speak to them.
I spend so much time in my own mind that I become oblivious to my surroundings, I have no sense of time or directions and I even become oblivious to the people around me. It's like I completely disconnect from my surroundings. Sometimes I get so hyperfixated on myself that I make selfish decisions and hurt people I love. I try to do things with good intentions but I always wind up losing everyone close to me. I'm like my own best friend and worst enemy. I don't have friends or family anymore for various reasons but they've all ended with them calling me a narcissist. I try to be a kind person and treat the people I love well but I always wind up losing them with the idea that im doing what's best for myself but it's happened so much that now I'm starting to think that maybe I'm just a bad person.
It's so bad that I have no motivation for hobbies or activities because I'm too far gone in my own mind. I created an image of myself or who I would like to be and I stand by it and I guess "advertise" myself as such but in reality I don't actually know that much about myself beyond my own thoughts and reactions to situations as they come. For someone so aware of myself, I know so very little about myself. I often convince myself I'm crazy and my mind is completely broken and that gives me overwhelming anxiety to the point where I feel physically ill from it. I don't take drugs or anything and I'm not medicated for the record. I don't know whats wrong with me but I hate myself for being this way. I have had a lot of past trauma but I've been this way for as long as I can remember and I'm starting to think that all the trauma I've faced were just results of me being a bad person.
| 1 |
How to get over intense fear of death/dying
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I don't know if this is the right subreddit for this and I'd like to apologize if it isn't, but this has taken an intense toll on my mental health, so I think it fits.
I don't know where to start. I have an intense fear of dying. It was ever since I was a child. I could never relax any moment, just always thinking about how my next breath could be my last. It started with fears of natural disasters and the end of the universe/world when I was younger, pretty standard to be scared of those things when you're younger, but I could barely go outside, because I was scared that something bad was going to happen and the world was going to end any minute. Then it developed into persecutory delusions where I could not go outside at all without panicking and feeling threatened, just feeling like everyone wants to kill me or physically harm me in some way. It was extremely bad and I lived in constant fear.
However since a few months that fear has passed, but now I think I'm starting to develop hyperchondria, because any little sign of being ill or weird feeling on my body, makes me think I'm about to die. I've been having alot of panic attacks lately, because of this too.
A few days ago, I got a mosquito bite, but it is extremely large and weird looking and feeling. Apparently this is skeeter syndrome, but of course I'm overthinking right now that it is sth very terrible and threatening.
I just want to stop overthinking. I'm so sorry for the long text, I just needed to get this off my chest.
| 1 |
I feel way less emotions?
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Sorry for bad writing I’m kinda tired and english isn’t my first language.
So uhm im 14 and I kinda realized that I have almost no deep emotions / feelings, like since my parents broke up I got kinda quiet and didn’t like to show emotions to others. Now with my friends I let a bit loose but when I’m back home I almost don’t talk anymore to my parents.
Also I really don’t feel any love for anyone at the moment, like if my family would disappear I wouldn’t be super affected by it.
I don’t know if its because I’m fed up with them or I just can’t feel anything.
Only towards my dad I feel something, like I really don’t want him gone or him to be sad. And sometimes my mother too but the last 3 years or smth she is just so… annoying?
To live with. She treats me like her personal therapist and constantly gets angry about everything and yells almost daily at me, but if I even try to say something back I get sent to hell. I really hate being dependent on her because she constantly complains on everything. I know she means well but I am so tired of it.
I don’t even really know what to ask here I just want to vent a bit I guess
| 1 |
How to cope with lost years
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Hi Everyone,
I migrated from the Middle East 6 years ago, I am a male in my late 40s, I migrated to the U.S. due to chaos and the bad security situation in my motherland. now I work as a System Admin in a firm for almost 4 years, my income covers my bills and pays for my house mortgage, people in my workplace are nice and well educated and most of them are younger than me and most of them receive a better wage than mine, however, I feel bad every day because I keep thinking that If you had grown up in America if I had had their chance, I would have been in a better situation financially and professionally, let alone the big burden of the language barrier and the difficulties to blend in in the new environment in this age. you might ask, why don't you move to another job with a better income, my answer is that I don't have the courage to do so as I am responsible for a family as well as my current job has a high job security and great benefits package, however, there is 0% chance for advancement on my current job, I feel stuck and desperate.
| 1 |
Programed suicide
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I translate this text with Google translation sorry for the mistakes ect... So here I am writing this I don't know if anyone will ever read it I planned the date of my death There's nothing left that keeps me alive To explain this a bit All my childhood I was belittled and hit by my two parents (thx alcohol) Then comes college bullying So I closed in on myself When I arrived at high school I was no longer the happy boy I was just an empty shell then I met this girl this girl who gave me a taste for life again but you already know the rest since I am here at home address you... after high school I started working in a company that I liked then there was the famous covid crisis so I lost my job some time later I found a new job with my best friends as boss (not boss it matters) so everything goes well I take an apartment and finally find hope, at this time we are in June 2022 I am having shoulder surgery a month later , I am assured that all the papers will be done so that I have my full pay but nothing was done so I lost my apartment because of my late rent so I go back to my parents with more than 3k € of debts... they kick me out in 3 days My sister has been housing me since I did some little work to help her with her bills but nothing too crazy... she is ruining herself for me... I just signed a permanent contract today I plan to saving up so my sister can rent a house to get custody of that girl back and after that I plan to end my life. I am well aware that I should see a specialist but what's the point...
| 1 |
Straight friend made a gay pass at me on holiday
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Dude gestured for me to sit on his d
I’m traumatised
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I don’t know what to do anymore
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18m Hiii, it’s 3 am in my country and I’m considering suicide I can not do this anymore I’m average in studies and my parents keep on pushing me to a point that I recently had a panic attack in front of them just to make them happy I agreed to study abroad just so I can see them smile , happy and not disappointed of me but it’s never enough they always have this look on there face that they don’t care about me and it’s not only this if we talk about my private life it’s fucked a well I have friends but not the kind who will go out of there way to help whereas, I’ve always checked on each and ever single one of my friends and always asked them “are you ok? , if you are going through anything you can always text me . But , right now I just texted some of them that can we just talk I’m not doing good right now I either of left on seen or they said that they are busy right now I’m so fed up right now nothing is ok I’ve been telling myself that everything is gonna be fine and that it’s a bad day and not a bad life from the past 3 years but I’m loosing hope I cannot act like I’m fine and that I have this really positive attitude I cannot I just wanna kill myself and just put an end to this . My parents will be happy that there is no disappointment and my friends yeah they really won’t care .
| 1 |
I’ve had a diagnosis for the past 6 years and I didn’t even know
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My mom forcibly took me while I was a senior in highschool to see a mental health professional. She gave my extreme change in behavior as the reason.
The last time she took me there, I refused to get out of the car. I was finally eighteen and she couldn’t do anything about it.
I went in again in 2021. Out of my own accord. But also sort of begrudgingly. But I was told it had to be through zoom because of the whole COVID thing…. I didn’t attend the virtual appointment I set up.
I’ve increasingly come to realize there’s something really wrong with me mentally. For a year now. It’s just become more apparent. And also for a year I’ve made the mental note of needing to go back there again. But I’d always put it off.
Today I went in. Was apparently diagnosed back then with three. This makes me feel so much more focused to get better. Knowing there is something wrong that can be worked on. Having a name for this thing.
I’m really looking forward to this chapter of my life now and I couldn’t be happier, to say the least :)
| 1 |
Not sure what to do
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As a bit of a background, I'm 30, gay m. I've been struggling on and off with depression for the past 15 years. Never really went to therapy, because after one or two sessions I can't get myself to go, and only briefly took sertaline, because the side effects made me feel more miserable than I felt before I started taking them.
After a recent injury I was prescribed amitriptyline for nerve pain. For the past year I had no major issues, but in the past 3 months since I'm on amitriptyline my depression is nearly at it's worst.
I can't talk to anyone, my partner is working far on most weeks, and after a decade together, I'm not even sure why are we still together.
I've lost most of my friends, and the only few I have left I feel like I'm the only one making an effort.
I feel lonely, I don't enjoy anything anymore and I feel at least double my age due to the constant physical pain.
My relationship feels like a dead end, we barely talk if we are even at home together. He refuses to change anything. It's not "fulfilling" in a certain way anymore either. We have a holiday coming up, but I'm not even looking forward to it.
I'm afraid to be even more alone if I would end my relationship, on top of that I am dreading to be financially insecure as I grew up very poor.
It feels like I'm swimming against the current.
I'm in a corner with no way out.
I am constantly asking myself, what's the point in pushing ahead. I have no answer, I don't even feel like I'm alive, I just exist.
I don't expect a magical answer to solve all my problems, I don't even expect anyone to reply.
| 1 |
I want an advice ..
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I texted with a guy behind my boyfriend’s back , i texted the guy cuz he knows my ex & my ex hates me so much
So i wanted to know if the guy hates me too & is he gonna harm me ( cuz he knows my brother so he can so much ).
Also , a girl i know caused a problem between mum & me
& to solve it i had to convince her that i will break up with my bf so i said bad stuff about him to her.
Anyway , by boyfriend broke into my account in saw it all & didn’t tell me until now ( 5 days he couldn’t even sleep).
I wanna fix stuff , I didn’t want it to go this way yes i’m who did wrong & i really really hate myself
I feel so sorry , I can’t stop crying , i even have breath issues i can’t breath Or well from crying
I love him I don’t wanna lose him
I love him so much
Help me out i want ideas to fix it
| 1 |
Bad dreams
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Hey, gang. I’ve been having terrible dreams nightly for 4 consecutive nights and it’s impacting my sleep and mood. I’ve noticed when I use THC oil that I don’t dream but I don’t want to just kick the can down the road. Advice?
| 1 |
What the hell I'm supposed to do?
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Been depresed for 13 years. Since I was 16. Been diagnosed and confirmed in 5 separarte times. Have been with meds (not currently) have been on therapy with 3 different psychologists and 2 psychiatrists.
If you saw me in the streets you couldn't tell (I have a job, some sort of social life, I do yoga, have a few hobbies, don't drink, eat healthy) but I'm dying.
I have not improved. I cry almost everyday. I haven't found a reason or actual sustained joy in my everyday life.
I'm almost 30 years old now and I cannot manage to keep on going.
I dont even know what else to say or what I'm supposed to do. Just thinking about ending it all.
🪱🪱🪱
| 1 |
Deleted snap
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I had to get rid of it it was horrible for my mental health I would snap ppl and get ghosted and I had no self worth
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Feeling a lot of rage but can't explain the logic behind it
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So I (m) asked a girl out when I was in high-school (I was 17 years old) but her response was nothing she didn't say yes or no so anyways we were together I was in love with her very deeply I was just crazy fucking madly in love with her fast forward to 6 months she said she dosent wanna be with me cuz I am a Muslim and she's Christian and never messaged me again ever ,if she had a religion problem she could just have told me at the start weather she wanted to date me or na in the 6 months span we met a 4 or 5 times max and held hands and it was very romantic for me . Anyways now in the present its been 4 years since that incident in this span of 4 years sometimes I checked her insta and saw her profile and bio but nothing else . I have very lovely gf who cares for me and loves me a lot ,but I don't have the same love and affection which I had for my ex ( self proclaimed she nvr said a yes or no) idk why , so 3 days ago I gave her a call my ex ( self proclaimed ) she's very happy with her life after me she had 1 more bf and they broke up and now she has a new bf and she's very happy in her life and she told me that she was craving for attention with me that's all , I felt a sudden rage I was so god damn furious but just smiled and kept talking to her as if I ddint care and she also told me that multiple times she tired to find my insta acc but she nvr got it anyways my point is I have this sudden rage towards her that she played with my feelings for 6 months and wtf does wanting attention mean , I was a very good innocent child back then but after that breakup my whole personality changed and now she says was for attention . I get a lot of rage just thinking about it and later on she told message me when ur free I just laughed and told her shut up I will call u again after 4 years. Is there something wrong with my rage ? Maybe I am not matured enough or maybe I am still childish I am now 21 tho idk what di o guys I am just not able to function properly after talking with my ex
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How do I feel wanted and not needed
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I have ASD Autism spectrum disorder. when I was a kid this hurt me a lot exscluding me from the relationships in my life. I started doing better when I got to highschool but now it’s really starting to hit. It’d be one thing if it were just with distant relationships but now in my close relationship I feel more needed then wanted.
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needed in the sense I’m only useful if I serve a purpose As oposed to wanted where people are actively want to be around me.
I‘m always the one who has to invite someone wo hang out or the one who has to reach out but no one seems to want to do the same. I’ve delt with serious co-depenency issues and I do not blame these people for it. It’s all a mental state that I really want to break but I don’t know how. I feel like a side character in my own life who only has the spicific people and when their not there even for a moment, I’m alone.
it Dosent help that I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. When I’ve tried talking to these people close to me. They lash out because they had a rough day, think I’m saying they did something wrong, or want To help but don’t know how Which is awful because I don’t know how to help with this either.
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dose anyone know how to deal with this on their own or has some advice on how to cope with this Because I‘m worried I get so bad I’ll make a self fulfilling prophecy and break all of the relationships I currently have. I don’t want to do that.
| 1 |
Advice on telling parents
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Hi guys, I hope you're all doing the best you can be doing.
I need some advice on telling my parents about something. I recently got referred to CAMHS for an urgent psych evaluation because they think I might have schizophrenia. I don't know how to tell my parents. Normally when I go to them about my mh they tell me I'm too young or that it's mind over matter and I'm in control of my own thoughts. I want to tell them because they're my parents but I don't know how to because I'm scared of the backlash I'll receive. I'm thinking about waiting until I get diagnosed because that way they cannot tell me I'm being dramatic. What should I do?
| 1 |
Scripting and non-ASD
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I was reading a book about autism and the author started talking about scripting. Does scripting only occur in ASD individuals or can in manifesst in other diagnoses?
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Im exhausted and want to give up
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Hello I am a 21 year old female from India, I live in a metropolitan city from an upper middle class family (turbulent) lmao
My family is fairly unstable and bring out the worst in me and although I've moved out for college im still very financially dependent on them.
Although I won't go in to too much detail the family situation has made me develop crippling anxiety and panic attacks based on certain triggers.
It got worse when I was in my 11-12th grade preparing for JEE, I was unable to perform due to mental health issues and was constantly depressed since I was extremely stressed and burntout. And it might be helpful to know that most of my self worth is based off my academic record / productive work. I asked for help as a minor for my declining mental health which i was declined.
After getting into a college and getting a few sessions here and there during COVID when the therapy fee was lower and mostly self isolation and introspection and lots of breakdowns, I've realised that i suffer from situational depression (undiagnosed still but my therapist hinted at it)
So after 4 years of ignoring some, facing some mental health problems head on I find myself at the same place I was 4 years ago- depressed anxious and a mess.
I'm majorly stresses about employment opportunities since it is the cusp of a recession here and job opportunities in Indian engineering colleges are extremely competitive with a lot of luck that needs to go right.
In addition I am currently in an extremely healthy relationship with a beautiful, big hearted boy and he's made me seen loved and heard like no one has ever.
But i dont want to scare him away and make my mental health and messiness take up most of the space in the relationship, I want him to feel as safe and loved as I do, but I feel like im so exhausted from just existing and just always breaking down and panic attacking Im not doing him justice.
Good therapy sessions are very expensive (2k for a session) and I don't have that much money to spare every month, i live penny to penny
I don't know if I can get over this wave like last time, maybe I never did - I just ignored it till I can't run anymore and I lowkey wouldn't care of i get engulfed this time.
Im tired and I want this to get over.
I cant live with myself.
I can't live with my brain.
| 1 |
How to reduce lithium twitches
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My doctor put me on lithium to help prevent future suicide attempts and it works great for me. My only complaint is the twitches/tremors. The muscles in my neck back and arms contract and it looks like I'm having a mini seizure. They only last a second, but I get people looking at me strange. Asking if I have tourrettes. I too this to my doctor and she says that it's just a side affect. Nothing to worry about. I can live with them, but they do get annoying sometimes. How do I reduce the twitches?
| 1 |
Why do I feel sad after interacting with family members?
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It wasn't always easy when I was a child. My family was very dysfunctional back then and interactions often left me feeling empty and distressed. I used to hate my parents and myself for it.
Nowadays we get along pretty well. We've worked through a lot of conflicts and challenges and we're having really good heart-to-heart talks now and then. We're able to laugh at stuff from the past. I'm 21 now, I love my family and appreciate the lessons we've learned.
Anyways, I noticed that anytime I talk to my mom, dad or little brother, no matter how good the interaction was or even if it was brief and nothing of substance really, I feel very sad and like falling into depression again. I'm pulling myself out of it everytime, but I wonder why it happens. It makes me scared of interacting with them.
I'm having anxiety and depression, but it's getting better. So why do I feel so depressed everytime after interacting with them? Should I talk to a psychologist about it or is this normal after such a history? Can anyone relate?
| 1 |
First Post. Is my mom right to suggest I go to mental health inpatient for a thyroid issue?
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Hello. I have been going through it with the anxiety a bit the past year. Had 2 panic attacks. A bit moody. Have been seeing a psychiatrist and taking Remeron for about 6 months. And my doctor just ordered bloodwork. Just found out 2 days ago that I have hyperthyroidism. Which can cause anxiety/mood swings. So I texted my mom and my brothers, "just got blood work done. I have hyperthyroidism." Nothing more in the messages. Both of my brothers responded similarly, within an hour, saying, that sucks, hope it is the best possible outcome, love you, let me know if you wanna talk, you're so strong, etc.
My mom on the other hand, did not respond for 2 days. And just now texted me saying, "This explains some of the mental health things. I feel like an inpatient mental health stay may help you with medication to treat both your physical and mental health symptoms. We love you so much and want you to be healthy and mentally well. Let me know if I can help facilitate getting you help."
I have been researching hyperthyroidism non-stop the past 2 days, and heard nothing about inpatient mental health care as a treatment. I was happy to see that maybe we finally found out what was causing my anxiety. My mom's response struck me as weird. And she was just shaming the hell out of me for taking medication. And shaming the hell out of her friend who is doing outpatient mental health for depression. She was telling me about her friend and was all "bless her heart, she just wants to color? Coloring books at an outpatient facility? Like literally?" So it makes me feel weird. She definitely shames people for getting mental health help and has to me in the past. Why is she recommended me go to inpatient psychiatric therapy for my hyperthyroidism/anxiety?
| 2 |
friendship
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Have you tried millions of times to be friends with a guy even if it never worked out because they weren't mentally ready to just be your friend ?
| 2 |
Finding a PCP
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I have a lot of anxiety around doctors and medical situations, to the point that I have had bad panic attacks just by walking into an office. I also have associated issues with being touched. I’ve been working hard to heal these issues for my own well-being, and I’m trying to find a new doctor for the first time in years.
Does anyone have any advice on how to find a new primary care provider that is patient/ understanding of medical anxiety?
| 1 |
Can't feel love or attraction anymore
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As the title says, I don't feel these things anymore. I'm 23M, and after my ex left me a week before our would-be wedding (2 years ago), I nearly ended my own life. I'm fine now. I've been to therapy, dealt with the revelation that my ex was abusive, got better. I used to work to support someone else. It was hard to do all of this for just myself. I found a new purpose and am doing far better mentally. I'm even happy.
I just have never felt the same. I'm at a position where I work and live near people that I know I would have felt something for before. I would have felt a pull, a tug, or whatever people call it. Crushes sound childish, but that's still what they are. Yet, I haven't felt a thing. These folks just fit with what I know I like, but I haven't felt a single thing for them. They're good friends, though.
Maybe that's just me growing up.
Maybe I'm broken.
All I know is that I haven't felt any connection since then, and it worries me.
| 2 |
Assistance with FMLA
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Does anyone use Sedgwick? I have comorbidities that make life difficult. I have ADHD, depression, GAD, and Migraines with aura. Taking my ADHD medication helps me to be regulated a lot and helps minimize symptoms of anxiety and depression. For some reason, it also minimizes my migraines. I am also on 3 different medications for my migraines.
Due to the national shortage, I was out of my ADHD medication for a month and ended up missing 2 weeks of work. I was also out of one of my migraine medications and we altered another. Sedgwick is denying my claim saying that this only caused stress rather than a sufficient disability.
I live in New Mexico and we don’t have very many psychiatrists so I have been on a waiting list for a year. For this reason, the only history of my adhd I have is my diagnosis and my medication.
Does anyone have experience with getting approved for a disability claim for Sedgwick? Is it just a matter of what a doctor is willing to write? This process is frustrating enough to cause a breakdown tbh. It feels so belittling and dismissive.
| 1 |
Depression
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I’m 21 and I’ve been struggling with confidence since many years. I feel small being 5’8. All of cousins are taller and I don’t even want to be in family reunions. What has keep me motivating me the past years is becoming at least taller. Also, I had an addiction visiting prostitutes since the last year.
| 1 |
What is this?
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Ive been experiencing something i can't understand. Earlier i did some grocery. I usually know what should i buy so i just go through different shelves, after putting everything i need in my cart i started to feel that my head is splitting into two and feeling like i forgot something when deep inside i know i dont. I feel like i did not put everything i need in my cart and i need to go back to zero and check everything. Its the same as reading book. I feel like i really don't read the words clearly so i ended up rereading again and again which is exhausting.
| 2 |
Therapist suggested Tinder, think it may have made me worse
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Apart from the fact that I’m already quite lonely and isolated, it is fucking addicting and I am playing it as if I know this “algorithm” behind it.
I get likes and matches, making my chances greater with extension tools. But the one thing that I don’t do is talk to people. I fucking suck at talking to people and get pissed off. I lied to her about my “success”, but really I have absolutely no life to be on it addictively, when I probably won’t go anywhere with it.
I’m pissed off, horny and lonely, these are all very bad combinations and I need to stop going on it.
| 1 |
Lost my temper at a work colleague who is leaving tomorrow, and I feel really horrible about it because I did something very nice I am presenting to them tomorrow
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Hi everyone,
I could just use some thoughts regarding something. Today near the end of my shift, I lost my temper at my coworker after lunch because I just felt very bogged down by the remaining things we had to do this week before they left. Anyhow, I didn't think I got all that upset but they were very upset and are practically refusing to talk to me. I apologized for getting upset profusely, but yet they are still upset.
Anyhow, I am also upset about this because if they are going to act this way tomorrow after what has been a genuinely good relationship over these last two or so months (known them about a year before I started working with them) I am going to feel horrible because I have plans early in our shift tomorrow to give them a card I had signed by a good number of the people they touch directly with their work. My coworker was very upset no one from the team recognized or wished them well in the new job, but me. That being said, there are some very nice (and I mean very nice) sentiments expressed in this card that I want to give from everyone.
How would you move ahead in doing this? I considered sliding it under the door to the office, but I also think it would be best if I just handed it to them first thing or near our break. What do you think?
| 1 |
Am I human?
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This is my first time using reddit so forgive me.
I am find that I am overly depressed in my daily life. I know exactly what the problem stims from but I have nothing I can do to change it. My mother has almost died on me 3 times in the past 3 months. Her boyfriend is passive aggressively abusive towards me. Saying I don't do anything around the house. Even though when I try to clean they berate me and disrespect me. Treat me as if I don't know what I am doing. Despite having experience as a professional in many different professions including Cleaning, health care, Maintenance, Construction, accounting. But I am constantly talked to as if I am stupid.
I have a half sister to boot who is flat-out aggressive apathic. I ask her for advice about what I could have done wrong all I get is "You are rude. You are disrespectful. You don't do anything. You don't pay for anything. Its his house so its his rules." But I cant feel that I am be being rude because I don't even interact with the man unless i have to. Or if he asks me a direct question I answer politely and head back to my room. I don't have the drive to even want to do anything unless asked simply because I am tired of being disrespected when I try to do something nice. I don't pay anything at the moment simply because I am out of work due to a recovering broken arm. But as I was working I gave them my intire check except for 60 bucks that i kept for my self.
I have tried to attempt to talk to them directly but the common thing is "Its his house." But my mind i keep thinking... I live here too. I pay rent. I am human arnt I? Or my mother will tell me I just have to bite my tongue and let it pass.
Mind you I been dealing with this all my life. With him only the last 6 years or so. But all of my family is like this. And the moments when I snap and i actualy raise my voice over a whisper and really want to punch someone.... I punch a door. I punch a concrete wall. A Marble counter top. I reframe from hitting a person. Does that mean... I am a bad person. Am I really rude to want to feel something publicly?
Its getting worse by the day. And honestly I feel if my mother passes away. I wont have anything to restrain my feelings and I will hurt someone simply because I cant be me ever. I cant express my self. I cant show emotion. I cant feel like I am allowed to live in peace.
| 2 |
I feel like life is meaningless and I am considering ending my life
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I am 25 years old old guy (| dont even consider myself a guy, just a little boy inside this shell of a body. am autistic and very bad with people and forming and maintaining relationships, never had a girlfriend who could love me, used to love a girl, we were together and she had a crush on me but once told her that love her she said that she doesn't love me and wants to stay friends.
Now am working a job in an office and i just stay inside computer rooms all day 24/7. feel life is meaningless and one day we all are going to die. am also going to die one way or another so why should wait for the natural death when can end it right now because do not get joy from life, people are shit and back bitters. I hate miscommitting people and all my life people promised things to me that they were unable to deliver ( whether it be friends or family) am not crazy, i think i am the most normal and loving person there could be but when i see around myself, everyone except myself seems crazy to me. People are passive, mean, dogmatic, hateful, full pf prejudices and their hate and lies are getting to me now. am an overthinker and my mind is constantly thinking at full speed that I cannot catch up with. It just does not stop contemplating thoughts about everything. have tried to cope with drugs but they do not calm me down. dont like watching porn as well because does not fee real. I do no believe in any of the mainstream religion. They either are man made or people have completely misinterpreted the message. believe in religion of george carlin just like he used to say' the god is may be a big electron who just goes "whoooowwww whooowwww" and does not care about good and evil; its just is' don't know if this was all thati wanted to say but yeah...
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I do nothing all day yet I don't get bored anymore, is that a problem
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I forgot what's it's like to feel bored. To get a rush from things to do, I just want to lie down and sleep.
I don't work, I'm not stressed, I used to have hobbies but I do them and I don't know what I feel about them anymore.
I don't know if I'm getting old or if this is maturity, I just lie down with my cellphone or pace around the house. I used to jump up and down around the house, now I just don't feel like doing anything.
I think about things to cook but I don't even like cooking that much. I'm not even all that hungry anymore.
Has anyone ever heard the song that says "you don't get me high anymore", it's kind of like that, no low to climb out of and no highs either.
Should I just give up on trying to feel anything?
| 24 |
I need advice about delusions
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I'm 17, and I have been experiencing "delusions" for 3-5 (maybe more) years. The thing is Im fully convinced these aren't delusions and are real.
However when I was high with my sister and friend, we started talking about things that we believe in. I told them about my delusions and over the night I kinda spiraled into thinking everyone is controlled by these people and my job is to save them. I got really scared/sad because I was mad that everyone else knew this, but I was just made aware so it was unfair how I could win. There was other things as well.
They told me that it sounds like delusions, but how can something I've believed in and terrifies me be fake? Because of that my brain started "attacking" itself. I became defensive and more panicky, almost like my brain was rationalizing everything. Like this was normal and they are gaslighting me into thinking it's not.
Some of the delusions consist of thought broadcasting, my brain controlling the world, famous people being connected to me/in love/hating me, etc. Because of this I started thinking that the universe doesn't want me to go into therapy because they will give me meds and it'll stop me from doing my job, but people want me to so I can lose.
I remember when I was 13 it was worse, because of school I was very stressed. On top of that paranoid about everyone around me. It caused me to be suspicious of everyone that I went to school with. I'm ngl it almost drove me to my breaking point (because of a huge thing I'm leaving out sorry) however quarantine saved me. Now I'm more paranoid online than anything.
It has caused me to stop countless friendships and isolate myself from everything. While still appearing "normal" (a stretch I know)
I don't know if it's worthy to note, but both my mom and grandma were diagnosed with schizophrenia. My mom with some kind of bipolar schizophrenia, but she said she noticed changes in her 20s.
I'm sorry if I end up deleting this, it's most likely due to paranoia. I just want anyones opinion, since I'm going to therapy soon.
(Sorry for punctuation and grammar errors)
| 2 |
Lamictal side effecfs
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How long does dry mouth last with lamitcal? Im only on first week and im suppose to go up weekly. Im on 25mg. My back hurts too but idk if that is a real side effect. F27
| 2 |
I’m overthinking and getting upset way too much. I feel trapped.
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So ever since I’ve gone back to physical school, my overthinking has gotten *way* worse. I believe this is because of one person, who I happen to really like. Let’s call him, Ein. So when I was myself, I was sort of energetic and was just kind of weird. While I was like this, I was happy. But not when I got home. When I got home I would rip myself apart over one little thing I did or said, especially when it came to him. It got so bad, and felt so terrible, I start hitting myself in the head to get rid of those emotions. And I mea, it worked. I felt naseus sometimes after, but I’d stop feeling it. After getting particularly Nase aus I guess I stopped the head-hitting? And moved on to digging my nails into my skin. I would think about hurting people because of how conpl they made life. Of course I had no ill feelings towards them, just the way they made me feel. Anyway fast forward to now, my friend called my weird over text. Even though everyone i know is in fact weird, for some reason this *hurt*? I completely overthought it (I think) and tried to conform myself to absolute normalcy. I’ve been quiet, resisted the urge to respond how I usually would, and you know what? **Im miserable.** I feel even more outcasted than I did before. Ive developed the thought that ein is secretly dating one of my friends and I have no proof other than the fact theyve been talking more. I want to go back to my normal self but my normal self is terribl, it’s nice and for a minute, but next minute I’m hurt. But suppressing myself hurts too. No matter what option it’s hurt hurt hurt. I don’t know what to do. I know these thoughts and assumptions are irrational, but I can’t get the feelings that come with them to go away. Any advice or help to alleviate these feelings?
​
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Is this most likely a defense mechanism, dissociation, executive dysfunction, or something else?
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Im diagnosed with anxiety, depression, adhd, autism, and my psyc suspects OCD.
For at least the last 3 years ive had the problem of whenever thinking or talking about serious emotional problems/subjects my mind blanks and I cant concentrate on my thoughts. Some examples of what type of thoughts trigger this are making revelations or break throughs with my mental health, introspection, and overwhelm of emotions. This also occurs almost everytime I try and open up to anyone about my struggles and whats going on with my brain. Which definitely sounds like a defence mechanism. The subject doesnt even have to be overly emotional or serious, I guess just if it makes me feel vulnerable.
What will happen is mid sentence my mind will wash over with fuzz and it will feel almost physically painful to try and continue my sentence and recall what i was just about to say next.
Ill remember what i had just said before blanking and i usually hold on to those words in my head and repeate theme over and over to try and trigger the rest of the thought to come back. I'll give up bc of the physical stress on my brain and then usually lose what I had just said and not be able to recall what i was saying at all. Sometimes I'll have a general idea, others its just gone. Sometimes the thought will come back after moving on but then ill run into the same issue while trying to think about it or expand on the thought in my own head.
This can happen multiple times during a conversation/ thinking session with various thoughts and idea. Thats when I get very frustrated and completely move on from the subject matter
Ive been calling this brainfog or dissociation, but I feel like neither really fit. My psychiatrist said its most likely executive dysfunction but im not quite sure what from executive dysfuntion would be causing this. Any info yall have about that would be helpful
I definitely do struggle with brainfog which this feels very similar to but brainfog doesnt feel like the right description for this. I cant really pin point the differences since im not currently experiencing that state,
I will sometimes enter a zoney state after the whole losing my train of thought bc I'll be very frustrated that i cant communicate my thoughts or literally just work through them in my head and process shit. I wont be able to focus on any of my thoughts and my brain will feel mostly empty
This has been a major obstacle in the way of me figuring out all my mental shit and making realizations around what im experiencing.
Please ask any questions because theres definitely more to it that I just cant think of atm
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Help me please.
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I need help. I've reached a breaking point. I have trouble with negativity. One small thing and I break down. Easily irritated. I have no patience. But I want to be happy and not live so miserably. I have no access to therapy or medication. Does anyone have any tips or something they think might help??
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Trying to fight my intrusive thoughts
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I started working again which has been difficult for me to cope with. Previously I was a stay at home mom, but with the cost of living I had to start working again. I have a history of bipolar depression and ptsd. While being a homemaker I felt that I had my mental health under control, now that I’m working I feel as if I’m losing grip of it. I work under a toxic manager with no team ethic and constantly talks down to people and never has anything positive to say about anyone or anything. It’s my day off and I feel as if I’m trying to fight off thoughts of suicide when I already have a plan and solution for work. (I’m transferring to a different location with a more positive leadership.) I just don’t understand why this thoughts and anxiety are poisoning my mind at the moment. Sorry for the long rant.
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I have everything I wished for when I was a teen yet feeling sad all the time
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I (24f) now have a life teenage me would see and think “that’s great!” and yet the sad feeling is always following me around like a shadow.
I recently started raising a puppy with my partner of nearly 3 years, whom I live with. I graduated and got a first class in BSc Biochemistry last year and now have a good stable job in the industry. I have friends around me, and in theory everything should be fine and I should be happy.
But even during work hours I cannot get myself out of bed and do end up spending all day in bed with my work PC on my lap.
It feels like a bad cycle that is never ending. I think what I am realising is that depression strikes regardless of how “picture perfect” life may seem. It’s not external, in my case at least. It’s purely internal and I don’t really know how to get out of it.
I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder a few years back, but have not had a proper diagnosis since.
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I “fantasize” being traumatized
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I’m only sharing this on reddit because I’m too ashamed to share it with anybody in person.
I have bipolar with psychotic features, but I’m being treated for schizoaffective soon.
I guess I feel like an imposter in my own disorder. Like I haven’t been hurt badly enough to have these problems. I’m always in my own little world in my mind. It’s like a safe space, but often times I imagine horrible things happening to me or to people I love that would indirectly hurt me severely.
People I love dying, abuse, all of these horrible things that I’m so grateful I haven’t experienced but I still imagine it. Almost like it’s a justification or a comfort.
I can feel the pain in imagining it, but it’s become so normal in this world in my mind that I don’t think twice about it, even when I’m really crying and hurting from it.
I feel like such a shitty person because there are people who experience these horrors and I’m “fantasizing” about it. I’m THAT shitty of a person.
Does anybody else go through this?
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my girlfriend wants to kill herself
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My girlfriend has depression. There are times where she is happy, and I have a really good time with her. But sometimes, when things don’t go her way, she just wants to give up.
My girlfriend is part of our university Muay Thai club, and they recently had a competition she took part in. She found out her opponent was very experienced, and immediately got anxious, thinking she was going to embarrass herself. She harmed herself after she found out who her opponent was going to be, while I wasn’t there. This was one of many occasions.
Whenever I give her solutions to her problems, she just does not want to listen, chooses to cry about it, and harm herself. I know that this is a medical condition, and it forces her to act unreasonably.
Just yesterday, she got her exam results back and said she wanted to kill herself. I’m not with her right now(we went back home for summer break), but she has been telling me she has enough antihistamines to kill herself. I’ve told her to call the suicide hotline, but she won’t do it. I said that if she wasn’t going to do it, I’ll call the police. She immediately said no, saying it would make things worse for her. I made her promise not to do anything and she said okay.
I don’t know what to do. Every month or so, there seems to be something like this happening, and it gets worse each time. I don’t want to leave her, I love her. But it’s putting so much stress on me. I have my own goals, and I have things in life I want to achieve. I tanked a few of my exams because I had to be there for her when this happened. I don’t know what to do.
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I'm trapped
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I have ADHD, suicidal thoughts, i'm introverted, i'm depressed, I have eating disorder.
I can't do what I want to do, because I can't focus, I get bored, I get depressed, It's been 10 years, I try to get up, I try really hard, I workout, I'm dieting, I try to learn about myself and my issues, but it doesn't lead anywhere.
I can't get a job, because I barely leave the house, I'm afraid of people, I don't like people, I don't like outside, nothing really makes me happy, only when I'm at home, doing what I like doing (drawing), even when I can't even do that right because I easily get bored and depressed (I'm perfectionist and I can't even draw properly, because I can't focus), and when I feel a bit of happiness, I realize that I won't go any further, because I can't live with people, I'm afraid. I can't live with people, I can't live without people... I'm trapped. I can't go out, I can't get the job, because I have no drive left, everything seems pointless, I'm poor, I'm ugly, I can't do anything right, and I always feel lonely and aimless, If go outside, I wouldn't even know where to go, I don't feel any pleasure, only sorrow, anger and only fantasy about ending it gives me some kind of relief.
I don't know what else to do. I won't go to psychiatrist, I know what is my problem, I know what I should do, but I can't, because I'm afraid, I can't change the way I feel, I don' want be alone, but I hate people, I hate most of my life.
| 9 |
How can I love myself?
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I've always had a hard time loving myself. Low confidence & self-esteem that have been leaking into my day-to-day & personal life. Because of this I don't think I deserve good things. Even when I'm doing okay I find myself self-sabotaging. It's making life hard & I end up hurting people important to me. It makes me feel uncomfortable when others say I'm a good person or that they love me. Have I tricked everyone into thinking I'm that person when I'm not? Like why does someone loving me make me feel like that? I can't just accept it & appreciate what I have..
I try mantras, exercise, & telling myself "I am a good person & I am loved". It's just hard trying to rewire my brain to believe it.
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Very long vent tw
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Im a 23 year old female living in nova scotia. I've been dealing with chronic pain and illness due to Endometriosis as well as severe depression, anxiety and possibly other mental health conditions. I had a nervous breakdown last friday at work. I was super depressed and anxious, I was paranoid, everything felt like it was in slow motion, I had completely dissociated and nothing felt like it was real, I remember being extremely confused, my memory of anything around me went down to 3-5 seconds, my brain literally stopped working right, I was dizzy and unsteady, I felt like I was going to throw up, I was hyperventilating, I forgot how to speak and when I could talk it was only a word or two and it took me a really long time to think of the words and say them. Thankfully when it got really bad people were on lunch break so it was just me and mum ( I work with my mum) and she asked me if I was ok and it took me like 15 seconds to say the word 'confused' and I started sobbing and was super scared because I didn't understand what was happening. In my head the entire time my voice kept telling me people were staring at me, how much people hated me, they think I'm a loser, that they talk about me behind my back and how I should hurt and kill myself. It was my own voice but I couldn't control it. I had to leave and when I drove home (which I shouldn't have) I was wailing and screaming at the top of my lungs because I was so scared and nothing felt real. I live alone but I spent the night at mum and dad's because I didn't feel safe alone and I didn't feel normal until I woke up the next day, I've been extremely depressed ever since. I literally snapped. I was going to take a week of sick leave but if I do have surgery (for endometriosis) this year (public or private) I need the hours for sick leave then. I've been trying to do things to help myself and destress but nothing is going according to plan. I've been referred to ns mental health services to possibly get diagnosed with a few different conditions (or disprove that I have them) and manage what's going on. I believe I have pmdd which is extreme pms that causes you to have extreme depression and be suicidal before, during and a little after my cycle. I have very irregular cycles as well so I baiscally feel awful all the time. I defiantly want to talk to the psychologist from ns health about this condition specifically and get diagnosed with that when I eventually get in. I played phone tag with them for 3 weeks only to find out the referral wasn't the correct kind of referral so I had to see my doctor again this morning to get the right one done. I also told him about my breakdown and he believes it was just that, a mental/nervous breakdown... continued in comments below
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Trauma faced by me in School which haunts me till date!! Need advice!!
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So during my early teenage years i had a proper of stammering in which i wasn't able to speak certain words properly particularly (S, सand R, र ) sound words!! I was around 14 at that time though before that i had problem pronouncing majority of sounds which requires a particular tongue position but it got better overtime except for these two!! So when i was pretty excellent in studies so teachers used to ask me question and they knew i had this problem and never scolded me for pronouncing words or sounds like these wrongly!! But in my 7th grade there was this english sister who decided to do a class activity where she asked a question and a child had to give answer and then another child had to ask the class "Is it Right? " And when my turn came i mispronounced it as "It it right"? Tried very hard to pronounce atleast one thing correct but the teacher ask me to repeat it multiple times and humiliated me for not pronouncing it properly and my whole class laughed at me except for the guy who was sitting with me at that time and tried to ask the teacher to calm down!! Majority of class knew about my stammering but everyone was enjoying my humiliation without a second thought!!
After that i didn't cry or anything but this event kept on repeating in my head for countless that and my stage fear went on next level that I'm not being able to speak confidently in english till now!! Even though now i can pronounce every word properly but that particular event still haunts me i even changed my school and the city and got enrolled in the most expensive school of a different city just so that i won't get asshats like them as my classmates and will get better and supportive environment!! The english teacher which i got was damn strict but overly supportive and caring at the same time she helped me overcome my stage fear to a large extent but today I was supposed to give a presentation over WW1 and i fucked big time like i was taking break after completing every single line and that event was playing in my head!!
I'm not sure when will i be completely able to overcome my fear!! It's not because I'm weak in english or so but it's just that sometimes my heart starts beating so fast and all!!
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frustrated and really fucking anxious sick and depressed. i can’t stop panicking.
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i can’t tell if i’m a bad person or not. basically i met a friend on reddit back in january who i became close too, our calls were fun and we were like instant best friends. here’s the thing, i had a thing with a dude that went south rly fast bc he wasn’t over his ex and it devastated me (it was only like a two three week thing lol). so my friend (who’s a dude btw) tried helping me through this but the thing is i didn’t rly want help i just wanted him to listen but i should’ve been more clear with that.
he basically thinks therapy is bs and that’s what he’s there for etc. so anyways we don’t talk for a little while bc i got very busy but i noticed his texts and tone were very dry. i had to repeatedly ask if he was okay multiple times, cause i sensed something was off. that’s when he tells me i just feel like disrespected u know u said you’d take my help and haven’t even asked about doing it (it was like a meditation exercise thing and we did do part of it) and i told him i didn’t want help at the time and just needed more time to clearly think and he was like ok that’s cool but u could’ve told me u know.
so fast forward a bit i’m seeing a new guy and have been seeing him for about a month. i also lost my job so am scrambling to get work and luckily got a job and have an interview today. also have been trying to spend more time with my long term in person best friends and new friends so between that my bf and looking for a job i would think he’d understand why we’re not talking as often. part of it as well is i believe when i told him we need to “tone it down” he didn’t rly understand what i meant by that but then he was like ok yeah i see cause looking at our old messages if i had a gf i wouldn’t want her talking to another guy like that, like EXACTLY.
anyways yesterday we hit a 100 streak on snap and i said omg 100 streak or something and he says smtg along the lines of “100 streak but you haven’t texted me at all this week”. and just making me feel shitty keep in mind it was like 6 in the morning when we started talking about this and i sensed so much passive aggression and it was pissing me off and i started panicking and couldn’t fall back asleep. he was like i’d never talk to you once in a while every two weeks if i got a bf and a job. like i’m sorry i’m trying to balance everything and everyone in my life? and he literally told me before he understands i’m gonna be spending more time with my bf now so what is the issue. having a guy friend feels a bit weird now that i have a bf and my bf is okay with guy friends as long as i’m not being sneaky (his words) which i never would this man is the most amazing guy ever. but now if my friend keeps being like this as much as it sucks bc how close we were and would call every night, i might have to cut him off.
i can’t help but feel like i maybe am the problem though. he’s making me feel like a piece of shit when he knows i’m not in a right mental state first of all. hell i don’t talk to some of my best friends for like a month or two on end sometimes and they don’t care. but am i an ass? or am i fine??
EDIT: oh yeah also forget to mention i’m on fluoxetine and trisprintec but i missed two days of fluoxetine straight and then a whole two weeks so far bc my insurance changed and now it kinda fucked me up but luckily i got my meds today.
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how do i even get a diagnosis?
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i’ve been doing very bad mentally. i have a psychiatrist but i don’t feel like i can open up to him about what i’m feeling. i want him to see if i could have any other disorders, just to check because the way i’ve been feeling the past few months is NOT good and i’m sick of it. could i have bpd? bipolar disorder? autism? i just don’t know what to say. how do i tell him that i feel like life isnt worth living and i want to die? how do i tell him that i feel like an empty shell of a person? how do i tell him about my sensory issues? how do i tell him i feel like i’m going crazy even though i can’t explain how or why i feel this way? even typing this out makes me feel like crying. i don’t know how to say these things out loud without crying. if i cry while talking about these things i won’t be able to finish my sentences.
what do i say to him? do i just say “hey i think i might have xyz could you test me for that?” i feel like that sounds so stupid. do i tell him about how i took online tests about certain disorders and want him to do an official test on me so we can know for sure? i don’t know! bringing this up to him sounds so… stupid.
has anyone here asked their doctor if they could test them for something? how did you do it? how can i open up to him about how i’m feeling? pls give me some advice
| 3 |
Are antidepressants good for me?
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18M here...i just don't know how to type out this. Kind of a good air going on around, with my family happy about me getting into a high-ranked college (fyi St. Xaviers' College, Calcutta) but I can't help but have suicidal thoughts from time to time. Ever since 8 yrs/old I started self-harming...still do a bit, and also attempted to kill myself 23 times.
I just...want it to end. There's so much abuse I've had to put up, bullying, psychologically being broken down - I just want it to end. That's why i wanna know - is it good and is there a way for me to get antidepressants without any doctor's help/my parents not knowing it? I can borrow some money from them if that's the case...
However, if this also doesn't turn out to be good, I'll...well, just end it. It's time for the curtain to drop, yk. I live in so much pain, doubt, stress, and tears that...
But then, no one will get that. No one will :)
\- Macabre\_11
| 1 |
Have always been depressed
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Hi everyone just looking out there to see if life's worth it
| 2 |
I have 9 bosses and too many projects. I am ready to give up completely. Why do I let work ruin me?
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Yup. Just like the movie…. I have 9 bosses Bob. 9? 9.
I keep getting tasks and projects from all parts of the company. My one actual boss doesn’t care or can do anything about it. It would seem I am the only one that works on this particular area (loan software). I keep telling my actual boss that things will be falling off the table and he just says “I hear ya!” And laughs it off
Projects will fail, I’ll get blamed. I need this job and while I’m looking for other jobs no interviews. I need to just quit as I am stressed out of my mind. But I can’t. Bills
I’m trapped. I’m 50, wife and 17 year old son.
Can’t downsize, can’t quit, can’t find a way to be happy. I need an exit strategy
What do I do?
| 1 |
Trust issues
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So basiclly a girls false alcusations led to me losing a lot of friends, and there is this sweet girl who I just hooked up with and is actually really nice and she likes likes me. But I can’t help but feel like every move is to try and isolate me or to throw me in jail or to laugh at me while I’m not looking. And I can’t help but feel this way about every girl to the point I never get too close in fact I even regret hooking up with this girl because the thought she can use it against me is horrorfying. How bad are my trust issues?
| 1 |
Who still feels like there's a massive taboo about depression, anxiety and mental health in general?
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I am a 25M, have been dealing with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety and OCD for around 8 years now. I still haven't told my parents. I can imagine it is akin to "coming out of the closet". My parents are really supportive people but I still feel as though I need act with the bravado that I am just fine. My friends don't know. My family knows, only partners have ever known as it's too hard to keep that from them.
I feel if I were open I'd be tossed aside by society, the weak make way for the strong etc.
I'd be supported, but not respected. I certainly feel as thought when being open about this people say wow so brave! Etc. But deep down they've lost some respect for you.
Maybe this is natural? I don't know. But it certainly makes it difficult to be open...
| 3 |
Euthanasia is legal in my country and I'm seriously considering it if I can't end my life on my own
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Title
| 1 |
Am I just that disgusting
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I grew up rotting in my room for years I couldn’t speak to people not even my own family members and it’s had an everlasting grasp on me,
I have a horrible job which I hate and all I look forward to drinking till I’m blackout drunk but at least then I can socialise without caring what others think of me, I talk to girls I even get there Snapchat’s but when it comes to talking to them I feel as I’m speaking to myself.
| 1 |
bored/ feels like wasting life
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i'm 24 and i'm a freelancer and i have hobbies BUT
i feel angry and frustrated every time do things i need to do (like cleaning, cooking, working), but whenever i have free time i feel like no matter what i do it feels like i'm just killing time and waiting for something, no idea what, and i feel bored and don't feel any happiness from playing games/ watching films/going for a walk or anything. the only joy i have is hanging with friends but this obviously can't happen 24/7. all the other time i feel like i'm wasting my life.
idk what's wrong with me/how to fix that?
| 3 |
Maladaptive Daydreaming
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I’m not sure if this is the right place to post this question, but here goes. I’m pretty sure I’ve been struggling with maladaptive daydreaming for a long time, but I didn’t view it as a problem until recently. Does anyone have any experience/advice?
I would talk to a therapist about it, but the last one I mentioned this to, I was 13 at the time, she told me that if I prayed the voices would go away… so needless to say, I don’t feel comfortable being misdiagnosed by something I clearly don’t have.
I’m not looking to divulge everything that goes on in the daydreams, as some are very personal, and honestly embarrassing at times. However, to be clear, they have never been about causing harm to myself or others, and I am aware that they are thoughts, I don’t actually see or hear anyone or anything.
| 1 |
Is it okay to to the right things for the wrong reason?
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(M 18) For as long as I can remember, I have been unsatisfied with my life, feeling like there was something missing. I fell in love with storytelling and began to insert myself into narratives as a coping mechanism.
As I got older, I recognized all the things I was deprived of, (what came with anger issues and intense social anxiety, ex. lack of friends, self esteem, etc.) but still continued doing this.
One example is how I fantasize about sibling relationships when I watch TMNT, and the list goes on. You get the idea.
More recently though, I decided to explore storytelling and have been working on a somewhat cohesive narrative that combines all my fantasies into one outlet.
Now, as my primary coping mechanism, I disassociate into this world often, where I replace the main character with myself and live out my daydreams.
My way of not getting totally absorbed in this and letting my life go to shit is convincing myself that I will live out this story and become the main character after I die, as if that will be my reward for living a righteous life. This is my version of heaven (I am agnostic)
So, little by little, day by day, I try to embody the main character of the story I created, a sort of alter ego I slowly become to try to "live up to him", as if I'm building myself to be put into the story. By becoming a wiser, healthier, selfless, and more capable individual, I get closer to becoming the best version of myself, the one I write about in my story.
I will be there for my responsibilities in my real life, but I have (for the most part) lost interest in obtaining certain things like friends or a girlfriend, because in my mind, I have the best I could ask for. If it doesn't have to do with this, I'm sort of "take it or leave it" about it. An issue that popped up though was the amount of commitment I pour into this, like not wanting a girlfriend because it would feel like cheating to me.
I know I'm (objectively) doing the right thing by making myself a better person, but I am worried that a life motivated by delusion might not he the best way to live.
Is this an okay way to live?
| 1 |
Winning a mental health tribunal
|
I've been in hospital since January for trying to kill myself as I thought the whole universe would end if I did kill myself as a voice of sadhguru tricked me and I wanted to stop suffering and thought everyone who was good would just go to heaven. I also thought I was king of the jews because of dreams and visions I had. I haven't had any vision since February, and I've been in hospital since then and have recently been moved to rehabilitation as my parents said I can't look after myself when I can and that i need help with drugs but im not even in a drug rehab they just want me to live independently again and wanted them to help me find a place. Any help on things I can say to help me win my tribunal.
| 1 |
I want someone to talk to
|
pls chat me, i want someone to talk to. I am newbie here. I can't explain my feelings right now. It's like there is a feeling inside me that anytime I will be experience a breakdown. Fear and at the same time tiredness : (
| 1 |
How do you even get motivation?
|
Hello, everyone. I'm an artist that has been having a tough time, feeling utterly unable to make anything. I've been at a crossroads for a long time now, about five months, and I just feel like I cannot for the life of me start drawing again, and I've decided to see if there's a way for me to turn it around with external help. I'm hoping that I can get advice or at least some feedback about what's going on.
For starters, about five months ago I started a new job. Around that time, my drawings took an incredibly sharp nosedive in frequency. I've been completely and utterly incapable of creating anything, even small cubes, without being self-depcrecating and saying to myself that I should be doing more. I've been completely demotivated for the fifth month at work, as well, but I think that's because it's the same thing every day, I don't make the quotas I need to make, and I'm just all around depressed.
I don't know if it's because I'm having a bad bout of depression, my OCD is preventing me from drawing (which is another thing I suffer from, but I feel it's a bit irrelevant because now it's just pure motivation), or if it's a sign that I should just finally give up, and that this has just been life support for the last few months. I don't want to, and despite very little art made in of itself the past few months, I'm astounded by some of the positive changes that I've made with my artwork, even when I do such a small painting. I'm genuinely fighting to regain my artistic expression again. I don't want to give up, but I don't know why I'm struggling so bad otherwise.
TL;DR, how do I get motivation to create again?
| 1 |
I was born into a rich family, have above average abilities and way higher than average opportunities, and I've mostly wasted all of them and think about suicide almost every day. What should keep me alive?
|
I'm turning 31 this summer. I don't have a qualification that would match my interest or my intelligence. My 20s have been wasted on anxiety, depression, idleness, discontent and daydreaming and blaming people. I started like 5 degress, only have one. A mediocre degree with like results that I never was passionate about.
I used to be passionate about many things, now I just feel empty and nihilistic. I sometimes wonder if this is how I'll remain and if it would be better to fall asleep and never wake up.
I'm diagnosed with BPD and NPD traits and probably have ADHD too. This means that although I have a high IQ, a good sense of everything, very good language learning and musical skills and many more that could make me successful, I cannot exploit my potential. This hurts the most. I'll never be content with an average or mediocre life knowing that I could be so much more.
I have lots of shame and self-hatred so my interpersonal relationships are superficial. I prefer people see me as my best version and not how I really am. I don't want to be how I really am. Somehow I always end up alone.
My parents are rich and one day I'll have a wealth that's enough to make a change in a community or to give my kids the best education. Except I am no longer sure I'm even fit to have kids. If I'll ever have a decent relationship with true love, shared values and mutual attraction. It's hard enough in itself and a lot of it is luck, but it gets much harder once you're out of education and everyone gets married. It's depressing. And I'm terrified of the thought of ending up in a mediocre life with a mediocre relationship without true passion. I had a 'taste' of the kind of girl I'm looking for and it's super hard to find a personality like that. I'm also becoming more rigid and more grumpy myself. I don't know if I can ever experience all the things I planned with my SO. I'm not even sure I'm interested.
Don't know why I wrote this, probably you guys won't be able to help me out if therapists and therapies couldn't. I just seem to be unable to get out of this. I don't like my job, I don't like my degree, I don't like my CV and I mostly don't like my life choices and my life in general. I know nobody is attracted to a guy like this but I'm so hungry for love. I just want to hit the reset button. But me dying would destroy everything my family worked for. But I don't want to keep going like this.
So I guess I just wanted to ask you what should keep me going. I spent the last few days passing out into sleep after work, watching porn, doing nothing and I've spent years like that. I take meds, visit therapy... nothing works. I guess I lost my integrity and my faith in myself and therapists who only ask questions and offer short reflections don't really change any of that.
| 0 |
How to break the habit of thinking too much? (The law of attraction ruined me)
|
10 years ago I was introduced to the law of attraction via the secret by Rhonda Byrne. Since then I got the wrong idea due to misinterpretation that “our minds create”, so I was utterly convinced mental effort on my part was crucial to manifest what I desired. I therefore gave my mental dimension too much power and eventually it took control of everything, to the point my automated actions where first thought (and overthought) beforehand.
I now over analyze and overthink even the most absurd trivial irrelevant sh*t, it has caused me so so much pain and anxiety, my skin and happiness have suffered for a decade. It was only last year I realized I wasn’t going anywhere and became aware of the habit I made. It has gotten to the point I felt mentally ill at times (In the past I could spend my days just walking around my house thinking, and I even considered suicide multiple times) but it’s just a habit, one of the worst if I may say so because you carry your mind EVERYWHERE you go.
I don’t feel suicidal, I feel hungry for living, I have so many goals and passions and the last few days have been a dream because I have managed to silence the voice in my head by imagining I’m putting my hand on the stove every time I start overthinking. Why? Every time I start overthinking I feel immediate uneasiness so I’ve been deliberately causing myself harm for so long, and became addicted to it, so by remembering I’m harming myself every time I play the games with the mind, I stop. How can I break this habit for good? I’ve been to 3 therapists but haven’t felt satisfied with their short term mindfulness fixes.
| 1 |
I'm tired and tired and tired
|
feels like my life will start to fall again :(
| 1 |
I really do not know what to do
|
Hi everyone,
Sorry, it is going to be a long post because I need to vent so badly.
I am in a really difficult situation at work and I keep going in circles of blame in my head, blaming myself then blaming my manager then blaming the whole company....... over and over again.
I started this job last year, and it was my first real corporate job as an expat in a foreign country. I was very happy and eager when I got the job because I was struggling for years to find a good opportunity related to my field. From the get-go, I knew that I was hired to take the shitload of work off of my colleague who was doing my job alone, and he was stepping into a new role. So, it was just me in the team doing the job of 3 people basically. I persevered because I wanted to stay and do a good job. That meant doing what everyone wants to be done, working until late, always jumping in on endless requests, stress, stress, and more stress. After 8 months of this constant high pressure and me killing myself to get work done, I had a total breakdown. I was crying every day, felt paralyzed when I had a task to do, skipped meetings, and totally isolated myself, stopped going to the office, and worked from home all the time.
Of course, all of this affected my personal life! I was complaining to my boyfriend every day, crying, could not sleep, and could not be present in any activity that I was doing. My anxiety was through the roof. My friends told me that this was burnout and I should go on sick leave, but I just felt so ashamed and guilty to go on sick leave after 8 months of starting and the job being my first opportunity.
On top of the workload, my manager was not really interested in what or how I was doing. In the beginning, he asked me the usual questions about how am doing and am I happy out of obligation. But then he started to cancel our 1-1 meetings because "we did not have any topics to talk about" which is true in regards to ongoing projects or work. However, I felt like there were no regular check-ins with him. He basically left it to my colleague to be my manager. Anyways, I told him that the work is just too much for me alone and that I am basically drowning! So the solution was that we hired an intern, and she took some of the pressure.
Before the intern joined and was still feeling unwell, I went on a holiday and decided if, after the holiday nothing changed, I will go on sick leave. Of course, after I came back, I was relaxed and developed this sort of apathy, like I do not care, doing the bare minimum. The intern joined, and things started to get a bit better; but I found it hard to bounce back, still do not go to the office and do not engage in any social events at work. Now, after a big project at work, we are having a lot of issues, and the pressure is rising again. The same chaotic environment, tons of requests, and endless issues to fix. The past couple of days, I am starting to feel everything from before, crying, can not breathe, and I am just paralyzed on what to work on.
I have been interviewing with other companies, and I have a job lined up but it is delayed due to some management decisions in the company. I am waiting every day to receive the offer, and I am increasingly anxious every day for this to work. Today, something happened at work, and it just made me want to quit right there, even before getting the offer. But I know if I quit I am at a disadvantage so I am trying to hold on. But I really do not know how to.
Thank you for reading so far! And if you have some advice or similar experience, please share.
| 1 |
I can’t move past a dumb and traumatic experience, need advice
|
I know it’s a dumb thing to be traumatized by, but I was already suffering from depression and PTSD when this occurred, so I was in an emotionally vulnerable state. I don’t have the money for a therapist. I could afford books or apps purchases, though, so any suggestion on that or even a YouTube channel that could help.
I’ve posted this before, but I haven’t received any solid advice on things I could actually do to accept what happened and move on.
…
Basically what happened: offered to help a middle aged Karen at my register. She exploded on me immediately and said that I didn’t look like I want to help her. I told her that I was sick (which was true). She exploded and screamed in my face - “you don’t look like you want to help, you don’t look like you want to be here, you’re daydreaming, I hope they send you home”
She kept sticking her finger in my face and chest, like damn near close to poking my eyes.
I was speechless, it was so random and she went to 0-100 out of nowhere. I just kept scanning because I wasn’t sure what response she was looking for or what was happening. She stood there for 15 seconds staring at me like she was waiting for me to say something.
When I didn’t respond, she just kept screaming the exact same thing in my face over and over and over for like five minutes straight (basically the entire transaction) and kept sticking her finger in my face and chest. I didn’t have anyone to help and I had a freeze reaction due to how violent and intense she was towards me. Her friend bolted out of there as soon as she paid for her stuff and refused to look our way, and my coworker was newer so she didn’t know what to do and was also speechless.
…
Anyways, it’s been a long time since this has happened and I’m still shaken. I don’t fully understand what caused her to behave like that or what she was expecting from me or if she was just wanting to ruin my day. I think I would’ve had easier time processing this if I understood why she felt like I deserved to be treated like that. Like I have never been rude or violent towards someone like that before and I’ve dealt with worse things than a cashier whose sick “not looking like they want to help me”. It felt like an overreaction since I literally only said to her the entire transaction “I can help you over here” and “I’m sick”, but I figured maybe I deserved it??
I still have flashbacks of this like it happened recently. It causes a lot of anxiety and I’ve pulled a lot of my hair off from the stress of thinking about it (yay trichotillomania). I’m damn near bald at this point. It’s just difficult to deal with all of this.
| 1 |
I am so scared, I owe so much money and don’t know what to do.
|
I just needed somewhere to say this but for the past year I’ve really struggled with my mental health everyday i feel anxious and scared last year I discovered weed and it helped my anxiety a lot but I became severely depending on it now I can’t go a day without it and I got Myself into almost £500 debt my life is at the edge idk what I can do I’m unable to get a job and I can’t cope anymore if anyone ever wants to talk to me my dms are always open.
| 0 |
What does the 'healthy human communication' a.k.a. "socialization" look like?
|
For a great part of my life I have been noticing an interesting pattern: people say unnecessary for me and even seeming foolish thoughts and opinions, what appeared to be a 'small talk'. I'm so new with this kind of small talk because I constantly run away from such topics like weather and medical creams, and I couldn't even imagine people tend to share their... I couldn't even imagine they seriously THINK about it.
I'm pretty asocial most of the time, chilling in front of a good book and listening to music, talking with people only if I notice decent jokes, stunning life- and just 'cool-stories', gossips and to try to communicate with 'crushes' (yet 1 try, yet failed) and, moreover, I tend just to listen. I may be just an introverted person, but maybe there's something deeper?
I hope I don't look like a life-long blind one begging people to describe colors. Will you help, please?
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry
| 1 |
How do you cope with intrusive thoughts.
|
I’m planning on getting therapy but I can’t for a little over a month. Just wondering if anyone who suffers from intrusive thoughts has any advice on how to cope with them. I don’t have problems with violent thoughts, just thoughts that I’m not good enough, that I’m a bother, no one likes me, life’s not worth living, no one will ever care. I usually try to fight them with positive thoughts but it hasn’t been helping much.
| 2 |
I’m losing my mind
|
I’m 18 and long story short my dad went insane when I was back in middle school that caused a lot of problems and a lot of isolation for myself because my mom was too focused on them. My siblings turned to their own things I stupidly turned to drugs. Weed helps me so much because sometimes I feel like I’m not myself I go insane I feel like everyone’s against me when it’s something so small. I get so angry and suicidal and 30 minutes later I’m right back where I was wondering where I went wrong. I don’t know how to fix myself I feel like I’m so far gone I need to kill myself for the sake of those around me. I can’t stop hurting everyone I love in some time of way. But they won’t stop loving me. I try to get them away but they won’t leave so I have to do it myself. I don’t know what to do anymore.
| 1 |
Have always felt disconnected to the things that I enjoy on paper. What is this?
|
It's hard to explain but essentially I have a hard time connecting with things that I conceptually like. Like I just feel the same. I don't enjoy doing a lot of things I list as "favorite activities". I am even starting to get like this with romantic interests, where I am interested but also, not. It's not depression, and I don't know if its depersonalization? I kind of wonder if i has to do with my ADHD and executive dysfunction- "doing" things is generally really hard on my brain, so I might like a topic, but researching it or learning how to do it or executing creating something is the hard part, so then I don't enjoy the action of it. But I like it hypothetically. Does that make sense/is this a thing?
| 4 |
stuck with no improvement
|
I've been working at the same place for the past five years, and lately, it feels like I haven't seen much progress or personal development. It's been a bit demoralizing to see my colleagues move on to better opportunities while I've remained stuck in the same position.
Adding to that, about a year ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2, and it's been quite challenging for me. My medication dosage keeps increasing, which makes me feel like I'm not getting better, but rather worse.
Sometimes it feels like everyone is moving forward, and I'm left behind, but I'm trying my best to stay positive and find ways to improve my situation.
So, in a nutshell, my life seems to be stuck on a merry-go-round while everyone else is riding roller coasters.
| 2 |
Self awareness
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I’m a 17 yr old F and have been wondering if this is a normal thing that I experience. In day to day life and in every single conversation, I am constantly thinking about every single one of my actions. I am so aware of body language, and verbal cues from friends and even strangers that it sometimes causes me to make assumptions based on just that. My attention to others and my awareness of myself and the way others perceive me sometimes goes to my head. I am way too conscious of any problem or criticism anyone could have if me. I think it takes a toll on my mental health as I will reflect on things that may seem so small to others, but since i’m so aware of it, it’s all i can think about. My brain is constantly moving, and i don’t know how to make it slow down. I’ve noticed around my friends that they truly do not notice when the other is being made uncomfortable by a joke or an opinion, but i immediately notice. This also causes me to have some distaste for people as i notice their lack of attention to others, which may not be fair to them.
| 2 |
Can the brain learn to associate certain things with each other,and if so, what is it called?
|
For example, it seems like a lot of peoples brains have learned to associate going to sleep with thinking a lot. For me, when I go to sleep my brain usually starts daydreaming, because thats what its used to doing.
Or another example, is homework. A lot of people have a negative association with homework, its automatically viewed as an obstacle and a problem.
**So, how can these associations be unlearned/removed?**
| 1 |
what are some random things currently keeping you sane?
|
As tiny and insignificant as they may be, i know we all have these small joys that can brigthen up our day a little.
For me right now it's the song Innocent by Taylor Swift, my Depeche Mode concert cup (i've been drinking exclusively out of that cup for weeks lol) aswell as the shirt i got at the concert, my best friend, owls, and the singer Morrissey :)
Lots of music related stuff! Music gives me a lot of hope. I'd love to hear what you guys have!!
| 2 |
How do you find the motivation to get through your day?
|
I wish I felt like I was doing more than “Just getting by”. I used to feel excitement for life but that’s largely disappeared even though I have “cool” things on the horizon. How do you keep your head up?
| 6 |
emotional flashbacks of nothing in particular
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Does anybody else get these emotional flashbacks of everyday things or random things that aren't a conflict or anything bad at all. but they still make you feel like shit.
I get it sometimes when on the stairs or at night walking around the house, sometimes when driving in the back seat and looking out the window or just walking in nature. just this kind of clenching feeling in my stomach or chest and a feeling like i'm a kid again.
And i don't remember anything like bad happening to me when i would walk in nature or go down the stairs, but remembering it feels like you're a fish caught on a hook and being pulled back into the past.
It frustrates me to not know what this is. Is it even an emotional flashback? Why do i feel so shitty and anxious when remembering such random and normal occurrences?
When a (percieved) conflict happens and i start feeling shitty or small and it reminds me specificaly of things and relationships in my childhood it makes sense to me. but this doesn't.
Can anybody relate and/or tell me what this is and why it happens?
| 1 |
Are these hallucinations or just tiredness?
|
Good morning.
I have been experiencing odd happenings but I am not sure if they qualify as "hallucinations".
Some background - been under a lot of stress lately. Relationship troubles (nothing too serious), financial stress, work is very busy, and my father passed away last month which affected me greatly.
Lately whenever I am at home at night and on my computer I find I am jumping at "shadow people" in my peripheral vision. This does not happen at my mother's house when I am visiting and it's late at night, only in my apartment.
The figures usually look like vague human shadows and send a jolt of fear/panic through me as I start at them. Once it seemed to me that a shadow the size of a young child was staring at me from my bedroom doorway (my computer rig is in my living room).
Are these "hallucinations" or just stress / fatigue? Should I be concerned and seek help, or chalk it up to stress and try to de-stress more?
Thank you for any advice.
| 1 |
Sertraline blues
|
Mini rant: I've (42 m) been on anti anxiety meds following an in work assault , for I think 4 months , had about 12 sessions of therapy , im trying to push myself to get back into a mental space where I can return to work , and, even though I'm making progress, it's just , so hard, the meds help , but, they also leave everything muted, my memory is pretty bad anyway but since I started on them , it's noticeably worse .
Trying to think is like wading through treacle.
Today is a particularly bad day , I couldn't even leave the apartment, has anyone else had this issue ?
| 1 |
So when do you start becoming functional again
|
I have chronic depression(diagnosed) and borderline personality disorders(bpd). I'm medicated and going for counseling but other than a few areas in my life I just feel like I'm slipping away or I'm just wasting myself like this.
How do you deal with the guilt? I am in uni, doing a 4 year course in computer science which I did not take willingly. I did not enjoy it. Hell I did not even put enough effort that you need to get above average grades and getting internships. Now I'm in my final year and so so so stressed knowing I have wasted my years and all of it is my fault. Also it doesn't help that I'm a very lonely person. I don't have friends and the ones I have aren't from my college. I do talk to people at college but it ain't anything that you can call friendship. Also I developed major trust issues(had them already) after an incident at that college. I was a part of a large group of people I thought maybe I can be friends with some of them but after a few months they kicked me out without any explanation. Later one of them told me most of the people in the group didn't like my appearance or the way I talked and stuff, another blow to my self esteem. So opening myself up again to anyone didn't seem like a good idea. Now the whole campus placement has begun and I'm so confused what to do where to go. I mean I do have some plans but they just seem so unachievable right now, like I'm so stressed that I didn't do anything and now I can't do anything because I'm stressed. Also I have this unhealthy attachment to the people who kicked me out. I keep comparing every aspect of my life to theirs and then I feel like shit because they have friends, are well articulated , have that social charm, doing well in academics. I just put this weird pressure on myself to be better than THEM(and I end up being not better than them) it's so unhealthy it's hurting me a lot. Can some one tell me if it actually gets better or you just become so numb that nothing matters anymore? Or how does it actually get better. How do you actually win in those areas of life (you know being functional doing well in your academic program getting a job being financially independent and just saying fuck you to your mental illness) and become a functional human being. English is not my first language so sorry if it comes off as unhinged. Also I'm not from US or any western countries.
| 1 |
Zoloft- antidepressants worsening mental state
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I have just started taking Zoloft after finding Lexapro isn’t working for me anymore and I feel so much worse. Constant despair and feeling a lot more suicidal? Anyone else experience/ experiencing this? What do you recommend I do. I’m only on 50mg for this week then meant to double the dose next week.
| 1 |
Coming here because I can’t afford therapy.
|
Hey everyone,
So… I guess, quick disclaimer, I love my mom. She’s great in a lot of ways. She loves me and my siblings, and I think she’s always wanted the best for me just in the wrong way. Same as my father, but he’s now deceased.
More specifically though, I’m living with her again, which as an actual adult in my early thirties I think goes without saying is humbling. And we’re both navigating a lot of emotions. I’m so incredibly grateful for this lily pad to pivot from, but it’s been difficult. Our relationship is strained right now because I feel like I’m just realizing my mom doesn’t even know me. Or it’s like the snapshots she does have of me are all the bad or embarrassing or awkward things, and none of the good. Which I, against all my best attempts to stop it from seeping in, affects my own self worth.
my mom is a horrible advice giver. And on top of that, whenever I come to her with an intense emotion like sadness, or anger, or frustration… instead of seeing me and helping me through it, she just matches and one ups my energy. Now it’s about her being xyz emotion. It makes me feel like an asshole. If I express my deepest thoughts, concerns, wants, needs I’m just looking for some reassurance, peace of mind… instead she just throws it back in my face as “well everyone wants that!” Or “everyone feels that way” which just feels completely severing to my core because, a. duh, I could of got to that conclusion on my own, and b. That’s not what I’m asking for.
I don’t expect my mother to be a mind reader, and often check myself when I lean to far into that thinking. I’m not trying to lord over her either, I just am really struggling realizing how hard it is to “find it in myself”…
Anyways, this is a messy ramble. And I kinda just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
| 1 |
Do you stay on antidepressants for life?
|
Because I've been on them since I was 19 and my mom said something about one day me not needing them anymore but I don't wanna stop taking them
| 24 |
i dont know what i have
|
I am a 17 yr old female teenager ,senior year in high school,currently on summer break
I started experiencing weird symptoms since 5 yrs old untill 13 which i think are associated with OCD that was horrible but in the summer before 8th grade i was rotting in my bed without purpose and suicidal thoughts,later that year i started self harming and hanging out with toxic people who made my life a living nightmare,context:my family doesn’t believe in mental health issues even tho the saw my situation and kept acting like it s nothing.
Now,i am worse than ever,i gave up on my preparations for college because my parents wont pay them,i dont have any money left,my phone bill is higher than ever and i cant pay it,my suicidal thoughts are here,again but this time i cannot escape them
| 1 |
I’m confused about what just happened
|
This isn’t something bad, but actually beyond great.
Nothing has happened in recent history for this to happen or needed to, it just happened out the blue.
I was just laying down in bed, when all of a sudden i was in a state of emotions that aren’t emotions. There really isn’t an emotion that this was like, the best way to describe it was like “positivity”. In the sense it was just such a peaceful state, it’s what I imagine someone who is dying and has accepted death feels like (the smile when they pass away). It only lasted 30 seconds or so, but it was the best 30 seconds of my life.
If anyone else has ever experienced this please let me know, because I want it back. I will dedicate my life to feeling like that just once more.
| 1 |
Let's talk about lonliness
|
Middle aged male here. Friends all moved away with their families (closest one is a two hour drive). I've been in a few long term relationships before, but none of them have really worked out, whether it was because of me, them, or mutual. Currently single, and spend a LOT of time alone. Looks like I passed the prospect of marriage and/or kids three or four exits ago, so it looks like it's just gonna be me from here on out.
Oh, I do have a dog now. Best thing in my life.
Problem is he doesn't talk. At least not English.
I'm emotionally intelligent enough to understand that to be happy, it is IMPERATIVE to be able to be happy spending time alone. I'm ok with being alone. I just have way too much alone time...which brings me to my question.
How do people who are completely ok being alone whenever, wherever, for whatever period of time, get to that place? Is it intrinsic? How can I get there? I have hobbies (e.g., I love hiking and have no problem doing solo hikes with my doggo) but don't want to do them alone ALL the time. For instance, it would be nice to be able to go to a happy hour with a buddy on a random Friday.
Ethos for respondents over 35.
| 1 |
I had a heartwarming encounter that made me realize I'm not invisible!
|
Today, a stranger on the bus handed me a note saying they think I'm cool and want to be friends. It's amazing how this unexpected gesture made me feel valued and seen. Has anyone else experienced something similar?
| 1 |
Australian Folks- Best Health care funds for mental health support?
|
Howdy-
For the Aussie folks in the room,
my partner and I (20 Man & 20 Non-Binary) were looking at getting a private health insurance cover together, since he currently doesn't have one and the one I'm on is with my parents.
My partner and I consistently go to Psychology sessions fortnightly, so we chew through the 10 Medicare rebate sessions pretty quickly,
My current insurance will help for 5 more sessions with a very little rebate payout.
My question is,
What Australian Health Insurance Funds have the best support for Psychology Sessions and Mental Health Support?
Yes, we have other concerns, but the Psychology sessions are the number 1 priority given how much they cost.
Thanks! :)
| 2 |
Hallucinations
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Hi! I'm not sure if these are considered hallucinations or not, but I've been seeing shadows moving, shadows of people from the corner of my eye, sometimes lights, and sometimes it's audio hallucinations like doors closing, people talking through different noises, sometimes I'll hear someone greet me with a "hi" or "hello" but no one's there (usually it's voices I know), etc. I've been having these for the past couple years, but I'd like to know why, or if anyone has something similar?
It's very off and on: sometimes it lasts a couple days then goes away for a few weeks or even a few months; sometimes it lasts a week or a few weeks, stops for a week or so; or it'll last a couple days, leave for a couple days, then come back (its all different). Usually it's because I'm tired or stressed out. For example, I used to work early mornings, and I barley got any sleep (I'm more of a night owl). Sometimes the job was physically straining as well, and I was so exhausted and sleep deprived that when I walked it felt like the ground was sinking like I was walking on a trampoline.
Anyway, I am currently un-employed (searching for a job but no luck yet), and I don't do much most days. So why is this happening? I have been drinking lately, but it happens when I've been drinking and when I'm sober. I've also had very bad mental health and I have ADHD. No trauma or anything, but I've contemplated suicide more times than I can count from when I was a teen until now (currently 21).
I really don't know what triggers these anymore. My mental health is declining lately, but even at my worst I still don't always have these hallucinations. Since I have no childooh trauma (rape, neglect, abuse, etc.) I really don't know what causes any of my mental issues either.
I really need advice. Thanks!
| 4 |
I am not proud of my job, ashamed even, I feel like 'less' of a person, and possibly for no reason. How could I get out of this?
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Hi all.
All of my life I had ambition, I wanted to be an artist in video games, I got there but it wasn't quite right. But it was still awesome. It was awesome for 2 years until I was made redundant in the recession. Since then I needed a job, any job, and I landed a job as an artworker. (for artworker think of graphic design, but the difference between a chef and a cook as being the difference between an artworker and a designer)
I like it well enough but all I do is practical problem solve, I don't do anything creative, I do the practical side of the business. So we have a logo that has been updated, it is now my job to get it updated on 10,000 documents. It is challenging sometimes but most of the time I feel like a factory worker.
The thing is, many would love my job, many would like the simplicity of just doing practical work not creative stuff.
But I feel ashamed of it. Like I wanted to be an artist, but now I just push buttons, noting unique or creative. Not many designers could do what I do because it would bore them, and they wouldn't think analytically enough to do this kind of work. But they still think they are superior (and have shown it).
A new job sounds like it is the way to go but I have no idea what togo into, and I earn 30k which is kind of where the cut off is, I could be a designer and earn no more. So my wage isn't even bad (no great in a cost of living crisis, but not bad either).
I just don't feel right?
I got divorced last year and it messed my head up, I am so envious of friends who are in the military but I am 35...I can't do that. And I gave up my chance because my ex didn't want me to do it.
​
I just don't like what I do, I feel embarrassed by it. Im not a designer or an artist I am more like a technician at best. I feel like I have up opportunities to do other things because others didnt want em to do that and I put others first naturally.
It has gotten to a point where I sort of don't even want to open my eyes in the morning. I am ok once i am moving more or less but in the mornings i am bad. On m drive to work today I fleetingly imagined just turning the wheel and going off the side of the road. Just because it would put an end to this monotony.
I don't want this to be my legacy...making forms for clients...but I don't want to jump just because the grass may be greener.
I just feel lost. And ever since the divorce I have been feeling worse and worse.
DMs are accepted if anybody felt like sending them. fyi
| 68 |
I used discord for a month & let it add on to my trauma.
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I enjoyed gaming and chilling with people, but there was no trigger warning on topics like rape or politics (these could've been moved to forums). I can't get over being mocked for sharing that the topic made me feel anxious when they said voice out your concerns
I didn't understand how the space was to be used. I had to leave behind some wonderful people to get out of that space. Too black and white.
| 1 |
My managers keep saying that anxiety and depression aren’t real.
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It makes me feel as if everything I’ve been through is a joke to them and probably many others. I love them as people and it hurts me very deeply when I hear them say these things, but I can’t seem to speak up for myself bc I’m scared to be laughed at or talked down to.
| 17 |
Why do people make fun of mentally ill people?
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You might say that mental health awareness is increasing, but I'd say it's the opposite.
Whenever there's a chance, people won't think twice to bring down a mentally ill person.
And not just the "obviously" mentally ill. There's a ton of cruelty towards the "hidden" mental ilnesses.
Like when you have an overly controlling person, someone having an episode, etc.
All are results of mental instability. But people won't hesitate to write "*boo, parents didn't hug you enough as a child?*" and other hurtful things.
Proof that it's getting worse: "Karen" jokes and videos are very popular and Karens are hated. But being a Karen is just a result of growing up with overly contolling parents.
It's like people are all supportive of mental health **until you start showing symptoms**. Then they ostracize and devalue you.
So, how do we make people stop poking at us?
| 35 |
Having dark thoughts
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I don't know why, but every time I think of anything for my future, relationships, school, job, family, friends, ect. I just get a pit of dread in my stomach and my thoughts become a flurry of "should I just die?".
It of course gets worse at night and even though I take melatonin to go to sleep I'm kept up thinking these things.
I don't think I'm going to commit suicide, as much as I may envision what it would be like there's too many logistical things involved and I know I'll have good moments in the future and all that crap.
But I can't seem to stop myself from just... Feeling so empty. Feeling so much despair. Thinking about dying and thinking about how worthless I am. The other day I was supposed to be doing things and suddenly just fell down and I couldn't bring myself to get back up and I just lie on the floor for an hour or two.
I feel like I'm always trudging through a horribly marsh and like the only thing that kept me going is this rage I get sometimes where I push through my life no matter how difficult it gets. But I fear that as soon as I fall I'll just not get up, like I did the other day.
| 1 |
Trying to understand anxiety
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I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 4 years now and have been trying to understand her anxiety. I guess I’ve been trying to understand anxiety in general, but more specifically hers. For a little background context, I’m a military pilot and would consider myself to have a somewhat stressful job at times. My job is performance based. Standards must be held and with that comes the pressure of keeping up with everything. My work often comes home with me, so there’s always a bit of pressure/stress that has to be dealt with at work and at home, not to mention just the normal stressors of life. I’ve always considered myself to be calm and collected but my job has also provided me with resources and skills for stress management.
So given my personality and background, I’ve been struggling to understand anxiety and the things that make my girlfriend anxious and how she deals with it. I feel some of the things she gets anxious about are what I would believe to be “simple issues” with a “simple solution”. But instead she will sometimes resort to her prescription or even her vape pen. Both make me a little uncomfortable because I feel like she should be able to deal with those stressors (big or small) without the use of her prescription or vape pen. I understand I might have a different threshold and approach to stressors, but my thought is that you should be able to deal with what I believe to be smaller stressors “naturally”. To me, that’s a sign of good mental health.
I want to talk to her about her anxiety and how she deals with it, but I do not want to be single minded doing so. Am I wrong for thinking the way I do? Do I have the stereotypical “tough military” mentality? How can I better understand anxiety and why she feels anxious? I’d like to try and show her that something’s aren’t worth stressing over and that there are better ways to deal with stressors, but I don’t want to be naive. Any advice?
| 2 |
How am I supposed to be happy
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I can’t remember the last time I was happy, when I smiled because I was happy and not just to look happy in a phot or something.
| 1 |
Welp, turns out I was never enough.
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I had a best friend of 8 years. We were childhood best friends. I helped her when she was low. I gifted her things. I was the one she could rant to. She knew she could trust me with anything. I help her with her family problems. We were best friends. But recently I realized it was all one sided. She stopped responding to me. Stopped coming over, which I later realized I was always the one to suggest it. Stopped calling, which I also always initiated. It wasn't like she was offline, she posted on her stories and medias almost every day. But never responded to me anymore. So I stopped texting first. We hadn't spoken in three months then. Not one text from her. And I began to realize that the whole friendship was one sided. Whenever I tried to just talk to her about stupid complaints I had, which was rare, she'd either change the subject or turn it to about her. She never gifted me anything, which Is absolutely fine, but I just realize how much I give for almost no appreciation. She even threw away my gifts if they weren't of high quality. And we're both broke so it's not like she should be expecting boujee, and she knew this. She never asked to hang out. She never did anything for the friendship. So, one day I saw her story with her new best friend. She talked about how great she was and how she was the best she ever had. And I just want to know what I did wrong. What made her like her better than me? Why wasn't I good enough for her? I have her all my time and attention, so why is she choosing someone else? I did everything for her for 8 years and now I'm just replaced. Within months. I honestly don't know how to feel about this. Like, I'm happy she's happy, but, I'm not happy that it's with some other person. And don't get me wrong, I'm not in love with her, I just love her. I still do. I just don't know where to go from here. Everytime I see photos of them together it hurts and I want to cry. Even though it's been months. I've unadded her/un followed on some places, but I really don't want to cut off all 'interaction' because I know it will be the last time I ever even have a chance of speaking to her again.
It hurts more because I've always struggled with feeling like a replacement, like a last choice. And this hit hard.
But what does she have that I don't? I hate it so much. I just wish I could've never met her so I wouldn't feel like this, but then again I have so many good memories with her. I sort of hate her for spoiling them.
| 3 |
Anyone ever not feel like speaking?
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Okay, so this might be an odd question but listen first:
My flatmate was just going on about her day and asking me for my opinion and stuff. I listened to her and I answered all her questions when she suddenly went: Are you angry? Am I bothering you? Why are your answers so short?
I, of course, explained that everything is fine. I'm not angry, she's not bothering me - far from it, I love the tea about her colleagues! - and that I just didn't feel like speaking. And when I tell you that this woman was straight up horrified I'd probably be making light of the situation.
On came a barrage of questions - if she did anything, if I'm not feeling well, if I need any help yada yada yada - which just left me extremely befuddled.
Thing is: I'm known to have my depressive episodes and I might have adult adhd, so I get where she is coming from and why she'd be horrified, but...I mean, not wanting to speak is quite normal for me. It doesn't happen too often, but I've always known these moments where I just don't feel like being vocal. It feels difficult and tiring to speak and I just don't want to do it in those instances. So I dial it down to short sentences and non-vocal answers and that's all. Nothing mayor, nothing problematic and not tied to my mood or my mental health status at the time. It just happens occasionally. And I thought everyone has or does that sometimes, but alas it seems that I was...wrong?
So I thought I'd ask you lot. Do you ever not feel like speaking? Without being in a bad mood or anything, mind you? And if so, do you know why? I'm extremely interested where this is coming from, so if you're up for sharing I'd be absolutely delighted to know!
| 1 |
When i need people the most they disappear
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When my ex broke up with me at the beginning of the year. It was torture. She was my best friend. She said some of the most hurtful things that have been said to me in my 22 years of life. More hurtful than things my abusive mother has said to me.
I lost a mutal friend and idk what I did wrong, he just cut me out and hasn't communicated at all with me
The things said cut so deep and it's left me with this feeling of inadequacy everywhere I go. I feel like I can't even go in public because I feel nothing but shame. I put myself through so much. I was putting my mental health on the line every to try to help hers. She never told me that our friendship was getting further apart everyday u til after she broke up with me.
Ia single day i lost my only friend. People keep telling me I need to get out, I need to join some sort of social groups. But I don't know how. I truly don't know how. I have social anxiety and i just want to run and hide everytome i go out in public setting where I have to interact with people.
Others will tell me todo soemthing with my coworkers, I want to but they don't want to. They hangout with each other all the time and I'm never invited. They know I spend 99% of my time off alone. I know when in not wanted.
I've never really been wanted for long. I know when people start to want me around it's only a matter of time before they don't. And it scares me.
| 1 |
I want to be able to harm and starve myself
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I don't know why but i feel like the way i feel isnt valid my depression or whatever, if i am unable to cut myself or push my throwing up into not eating but i feel pathethic becuase im scared of pain and love to eat, i look at my body in the mirror and hate that i can't look like astolfo or felix or the other cute anime boys i know my boyfriend date whatever would love it if i could but i want to be cute. I hear trauma and self harm and being able to go tjrough those things is supposed to make one strong but after having people grab my ass and call me names like faggot like my stepdad did all the time and go through being obese through youth and losing all that weight only to try going to the militarh where i got beaten up and threatened and svared and humiliated i feel weak and feel like i can't be strong or cool now, the heroes in my animes and stories wouldnt have done that, i was cowardly and couldnt, i feel like my inability and fear of cuttinf and hurti g and starving myself are limiting me now, i don't feel brave or corageous or like a warrior
I know i have a cat and im suplosed to not want to end becuase it cares about me but i feel like for me, being able to do so is the bravest and most strong thing i could do becuase it means getting over my fear of death and pain
No i dont want therapy, my cool anime and manga and comic heroes didnt need therapy for their trauma, stuff even worse than i what i went through
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