title
stringlengths 1
300
| content
stringlengths 1
39k
⌀ | score
int64 0
6.38k
|
|---|---|---|
Guess I had a PTSD thing?
|
Episode? Flare-up? Idk what to call it.
Was watching a show last night. There was a description of SA that was so close to my story it was like I was thrown back in time to before I got away. Felt overwhelmingly hollow the rest of the night. Woke up screaming in the middle of the night, don't remember what I was dreaming but I know what it must have been about.
Feeling ok now but fuck I thought I was more over this by now.
| 1 |
Why is it so hard to get a diagnosis as an adult?
|
Recently I have had significant changes in my life that have caused me to pause, take a step back, and reflect on my life and my very own actions/tendencies. Some of my behavior was completely irrational, and I am aware of that and do my best to prevent reaching that point, and have done intense studying into mental conditions and their criteria. I’m 99% sure I have both ADHD and ASD from my experiences all my life as well as checking it with the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria. A few years back I was diagnosed with moderate to sever depression and Anxiety Disorder. Each Dr. And Psychiatrist I have seen, when I discuss my suspicions of ADHD/ASD (also because it runs in my family), they keep just dumbing it down to “your just depressed, that’s all”, but like, I feel entirely misunderstood and like all my legitimate evidence and concerned is completely and utterly dismissed or downplayed simply as depression. To be honest, this makes me more depressed as I feel like no matter what I do, the legitimacy of my concern gets continuously dismissed almost instantly. Why is getting a diagnoses as an adult such an uphill battle? I just want the help I need.
| 1 |
Need some mental health advice/insight
|
Hi everyone. After about 2-3 months of struggling mentally, I guess I’m taking it to Reddit. So for a little backstory, I am typically a super bubbly, motivated, happy, funny, talkative, and energetic individual. For the past 2-3 months this hasn’t been the case. I’ve been anxiety-ridden, intrusively thinking, and have felt extremely brain-foggy. I can’t think straight, and my intrusive thoughts are always asking me whether im feeling “normal,” which ultimately doesn’t make me feel normal. I haven’t been able to just enjoy a day without wondering if my anxiety is going to take over. I’ve researched derealization, and sometimes I feel like maybe im even experiencing some of that. I just want to feel sharp and in the moment again, not constantly in my own head.
Sometimes I’ll forget about it all, and I’ll feel totally normal. Then all of the sudden it’s like I remember to have anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
Within the past 3 months, I’ve gotten a new job (teacher), went back to teaching pre-school over the summer, and I also moved in with my boyfriend. So perhaps it’s all of the change im experiencing. But im excited about all of this change, so I don’t know. Additionally, my brother suffers from severe OCD, depression, and ADHD, so maybe I have a little bit of that or something.
Anyways. Im just seeking insight. Im really missing my old self. I was unapologetically my happy, fun self, and I miss that.
| 1 |
I have no friends no girlfriend no loving family nobody to talk to i feel like just killing myself at this point
|
I have nobody to interact with its just me and my mind. My family doesn't nt care or love me i have no friends to talk to i have no girlfriend. My parents emotionally abuse me they are extremely narcissistic i have no control over my life. I should drink bleach and die
| 1 |
Flashbacks and anxiety
|
Hi, sorry if this post doesn't fit the rules.
i just needed a space to share, I'll take it down if needed.
I had a mental breakdown almost 2 years ago. I was depressed and extremely anxious. i had suicidal thoughts. it got better after a couple of months, and i am slowing improving since.
i don't know what happened today. i went to my bathroom, and my mum had put a new scent booster in the bathroom. the smell was very familiar, something that was there during my breakdown. i don't know if this is weird, but the scent just put me back like I was there, 2 years ago, crying in my bathroom.
i am feeling extremely anxious right now. with my work getting more hectic lately, i am afraid I'll be back to square one with my mental health.
is it weird that just a scent pushed me back? any tips on this could be helpful.
thanks
| 1 |
Catastrophic thinking. Can it be unlearned?
|
Grew up with a wonderful mother but she suffered from crippling anxiety and so she modeled a lot of catastrophic thinking as life events came up. I picked up a lot of this and it has interfered with my happiness. The older I get (I’m in my early 50s now) the less I seem able to beat it. The weirdest part is I can recognize it in real time but I can’t stop it. I end up in a relentless thought loop of negativity where I am over-planning for things that will never happen.
Most recent example was a plumbing problem at the house that was pretty serious. For most people this sucks, I know. But for me it becomes a problem that could cost me my house. I realize while I’m thinking these thoughts that they are not sane. But what I’ve not been able to do is stop them. The best results I’ve gotten are to check in with family and friends and say “this is what I’ve been thinking can you tell me if I’m going overboard.” When people tell me that “yes, that’s way over the top” I can relax (sometimes). Has anyone conquered this problem? If so, what’s my best bet? CBT?
| 1 |
i’m stressed, depressed, and lossed on what to do anymore
|
Sorry if this is kinda long. I’m 21(F) and i’ve been having a very tough time lately with no one to talk to or feeling as if no one i want to care, actually cares.
my year overall has just been very tough on me, being in an abusive relationship and it ending up with me losing everything, failing a year in university due to stresses, having to resit and on the verge to failing my re submissions again because i just can’t think straight, parents don’t support me and just want me out whenever i’m home especially when i recently just got out of hospital with sepsis. i was there for a week and 3 days and the only reason they visited once is because other people in my family argued with them telling them they should because ‘they had stuff going on too’ when i literally could’ve been on the verge of death.
i got out about a week ago, hadn’t left my house since, and the one time i do i get robbed and assaulted when passing by some girls on my way home. i knew two of the girls and was just hanging around until my phone charged so i could go home (this was in a public setting and i was coming back from a musical concert). i happened to bump into them, whilst i’m talking to another dude i bumped into and know, they took all my stuff including a phone, then when i was just simply asking people where it has gone i get suckerpunched and treaded on by around 5 girls. i now have a black eye, sore ribs and can barely even walk even 5 days later, and the police i managed to call when someone finally decided to help me (i asked atleast 8 people around - like i said public place - and they all just ignored me like i was crazy) the police came and took me home to my dads house. b it just since then and since any incident i’ve had no support, get shouted at for not doing enough when i’m literally trying not to cry half of the time, always check on people and try to do my best but the same isn’t returned.
i’m really just sick and tired. through the whole thing i’ve been open to my friends and only one has called me within the past 3 weeks asking how i am etc, and i hate to talk about myself because people just put it down to negative but i’ve been truly having a rough time. i just feel i can’t talk to anyone and everyday is a struggle. i’m not suicidal but i really just wish i had a different life and day dream about running away, but everytime i get a breath of fresh air it’s taken from me. i feel like i’m the problem but i don’t even know what i’m doing wrong or what i’ve done to deserve a lot of the stuff that happens to me.
i feel as this is mainly me venting because i don’t know what anyone could say to actually help, but it’s just as if my mental health is being ignored by everyone even when i try to be open and i’m struggling to go on this way.
| 1 |
My mum is suicidal and depressed
|
My mum has always struggled with her mental health. About a month ago, it got worse and she was expressing a desire to kill herself and that she wanted to go to the train station to jump in front of a train. She also tried to climb over the stair bannister in front of me. She frequently expresses that she thinks life is pointless and doesn’t want to do it anymore.
She is getting support and is on lots of medication but is still tearful most days and needs a lot of emotional reassurance. I am obviously happy to support her but a selfish part of me is angry with her. Like why am I not good enough? Why do I have to provide the support she should be giving me?
I broke up with my partner in January and have been struggling to process that so I feel partly this is my fault. Some times I just want to cry and have a mum who will support me and look after me but I don’t feel I have that and it hurts. I go to great lengths to hide my feelings from her as I don’t want her to feel worse. I find it hard to comprehend how someone who is supposed to love you wants to die.
| 1 |
Need of purpose
|
Recently lost all purpose in life, no clue if it’s depression or anything like that, to be frank I don’t care if it is. I need a purpose otherwise I have no idea what might happen. Anyone got any ideas.
- don’t suggest setting small goals cause that ain’t working.
| 1 |
Disclosing to others
|
I (20F) am from a rural province in the Philippines. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder just a year ago. I relapsed, failed a LOT of classes, got kicked out of my program, filed a leave of absence, and attempted suicide.
Personally, I find it difficult being anything other than ***bipolar***. After getting diagnosed, I immediately informed my family, friends, and family friends. When I was studying (online modality), I also informed my classmates and my professors. Occasionally, even strangers on the first meeting.
I am aware it's a private matter and telling them is like an invitation to be a target of their prejudice. I initially thought that what I'm doing will lessen the stigma but in my heart of hearts, I feel that I was doing it to try to make them understand or justify my failures. Especially when I stopped my studies. I was an honor student in high school and turned such a disappointment in college. I am now two years behind my batch.
For context, mental health is taboo here. It didn't get “popular” until the 2010s. There's still outdated beliefs regarding the subject especially where I'm from. Even my own father said that such illness manifest due to malevolent spirits (_aswangs_). They don't get **it**.
I'm planning on returning to university soon. When I studied college, it was online. It will be my first time stepping on campus since 2019. Is it advisable to disclose it to others? How do you go around it? I do plan to inform my professors for accomodations though.
For those who disclosed their illness to others, how did it go?
| 1 |
Should I try seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist? 21M
|
Past:
I've been dealing with loneliness (including no friends), MDD (diagnosed by psychiatrist at 17) and anxiety for a while now (started at 14yo).
I used to go to a psychiatrist but it didn't help me much. I went for my mother and with hopes that it might help me but didn't. Haven't gone for over a year now.
What I need help with:
Having had a small taste of love which ended badly, I am DEEPLY convinced that the only hope of ever feeling a bit happy or satisfied in life is having someone to truly love. He was a major and only source of comfort and happiness for me. I was willing to do anything to make him comfortable and happy and it in return made me comfortable and happy. Unfortunately, it was very one sided and I was too blind to see it.
I have no ambitions nor any hope for a good future without an SO. I'm am HYPER fixated on that fact and convinced myself of it.
Having talked to someone recently, he reminded me that having a partner be your only source of happiness is very unhealthy. It can be suffocating to the person and putting your well being entirely into the hands of someone else.
I don't believe I'll ever let go of the thought that the only hope for happiness in my life is an SO... BUT I'm willing to give myself a try to get past this.
So I'm wondering which would be a better fit for what I need help with?
| 2 |
What are your opinions on "positive thinking"
|
People all over the place are always telling me that I need to "think positive." My therapist, my mom, my friends, people online. This has literally never worked for me, not once. I cant think whatever good words I want but when Im feeling bad and try to think positive, it feels like Im being split in two or something and the words are just words. They say that feelings follow thoughts, but Im not so sure thats the case for everyone.
I mean, I wake up in the morning miserable and on the brink of tears before I can even think a thought.
Im actually feeling like, at least for me, thoughts follow feelings. Not the other way around. I think when I feel good, I start to think well and notice good things, and then bad thoughts roll out of y head without a problem, but when I'm feeling bad its like there is no good anywhere no matter what and thinking positive just makes it worse. Maybe because its "fake."
What are you guys' experience with "positive thinking" ?
| 0 |
How to schedule cleaning your house?
|
This is probably the wrong sub redit but some people says it might be a symptom of depression so I'll check here.
So i haven't had any motivation to wake up in the mornings and get anything done, i don't have motivation to clean, to do my art (which i used to be really passionate about), or to do anything productive at all. i know it makes me seem lazy and i don't blame any people here for saying i am but i really want to get up and do something but now my house is too out of control to do all at once and i am overwhelmed. Should i make it a game? Like how fast can i sweep for floor in 10 minutes or something like that? I want to do better but i don't know how to act upon it instead of just saying i will do it and never do. How do i wake up in the mornings willing to get up? I need some help
| 1 |
No one can explain this "fire brain" feeling to me
|
I've had this feeling off and on since about 2021. I'll go weeks at a time where I experience only what I can describe as "fire brain" - my head feels hot to the touch, almost like I have a fever. I also can't focus on anything requiring cognitive function. My job is computer-based, and I find myself just completely unable to get motivated, and I have almost an aversion to screens in general. I'm absolute junk. If I find time to clean the house, or be out of the house in general - errands, yard work, mostly anything that doesn't involve a TON of brain processing involving a screen, I'm diamonds.
I've had it explained to me by my therapist that this might be burnout, or it might be a symptom of depression, which I do have a history of. But I've never experienced this before. I actually got a new job about a year ago thinking I was burned out, but these same feelings are coming back. I have no idea what this is, or how to stop it. WTF is this?
| 1 |
Questioning my therapist
|
I started therapy for the first time earlier this year and really value it. My therapist is friendly and easy to open up with (though that’s still difficult for me). they are professional and skilled at their job
Very fortunate to be in this position but I’m paying an extortionate amount to go to a high end clinic, which i treated as a sign of my commitment to recovery.
My confused feelings stem from the following:
The sessions have to end quite fast as another person needs the room, so it sometimes feels like being rushed out (sure this is fairly normal). My therapist seems to also make promises (sending something via email, providing a letter) but will forget for a couple of weeks. Speaking to friends who also do therapy, some have said they seem to be able to freely text their therapist whenever needed. Because of the rushing out and slight inconsistencies, I’ve felt like there’s a hard boundary and that’s something I wouldn’t be able to do.
My therapist has a family and kid to raise and other clients, so I’m not *too* bothered by these things, I wouldn’t want to dominate someone’s time. But at the same time it feels like a lot of money for less involvement than others receive.
There were a couple of sessions where they noticeably had less patience when trying to get me to open up and process a difficult memory. Though again they’re only human and tbh with parenthood there’s likely a lot of sleepless nights.
It’s just a few small things building up that are making me question things at times.
What have your experiences been? Have you felt similarly and what did you do?
| 5 |
I’m having trouble picturing a person with a past of troubled relationships as someone who is happy.
|
It took a long time for me to both choose friends who are compatible with me and become a mature adult. Throughout my late teens and twenties, I lost a lot of close relationships. Nothing terrible ever happened, but stupid fights here and there and different lifestyles or personalities led to a lot of friendships ending. I starting worrying I had some huge issue, but in therapy I've asked, and I never get anything. They generally understand where I am coming from even if I make myself look bad. I asked if maybe I was a narcissist who couldn't see something negative and it's always no. But, as I get older, I look back and feel bad that it was so many. It makes me think there has to be something really wrong with me. Almost every close friend, shy of 3, was lost and many of them hate me. Many of them weren't the nicest, sure, but again, nothing terrible ever happened. In total, close relationships lost as a result of distancing or an argument (without any kind of screaming or crossing the line saying terrible things) is 8
I'm finding now that it is interfering with my social anxiety. It has been creeping up on me. I am not sure how to reframe this. I'm having trouble picturing myself as a happy person with this weight on my shoulders. I sometimes have nightmares of people from my past. I think about them hating me and how they know something terrible about me that I don't.
| 1 |
Do I have a problem or am I attention-seeking?
|
This year has been my worst. I lost a friend group because I "changed attitude" because I was sat their with them and their girlfriends with them hugging and kissing Infront of me kind of rubbing it in, I felt like, they weren't I know. Then I joined another group and they kicked me out for "disrupting the groups dynamic" they then spread vicious rumours about me being a paedophile and pervert at 14. I have no friends in school. I have felt down (depressed? idk) for ages and have only just started to realise through school counselling that this wasn't normal, I also felt like suicidal and self harming. I don't ever want to say that I am depressed or suicidal because I feel like the internet has made a normality of people doing it for views or attention and is viewed as just cringe. I recognise I have these problems but I feel uncomfortable labelling it as a mental illness. Do I have real problems or am I sub consciously seeking attention, I did that before when I was younger and I recognised at the time that I was doing it and I feel like its happening again.
| 1 |
Obsession with an unrequited love interest, OCD, anxiety attacks and triggered by anything related to romance or sex.
|
I'm a 23 year old boy from India.I suffer from extreme OCD and overthinking. I got extremely obsessed with this girl. I idealize her too much and have put her on a pedestal. I literally think 24/7 of her. She's always in my head. We have very different lifestyles. I feel like my life is pretty dull compared to her's. She goes to a different college and is far away from me. Anyway I confessed my feelings to her, but she didn't reciprocate. But I kept talking to her even though she wasn't too enthusiastic. In the process I got to know a little about her dating life. She's dated some guys in the past. She's currently in a situationship with a guy. I've been single my whole life. I have this thing where I'll try to understand how she thinks and how her mind works and also try to know what is going on in her life. In the process I ask very inquisitive questions to her. Which sometimes she refuses to answer which is very much understandable (I know I'm the one wrong here). And when I don't get the answer I get anxiety attacks and I try to come up with my own answers by think up all the possibilities I can. This really tires me out and causes me distress.I also make up scenarios about them (she and her bf) in my head, even their moments of physical intimacy. I try to cut out the thoughts but my mind somehow forces me to think about it . This causes me extreme distress and gives me anxiety attacks. I try to picturise everything that has happened between them in my head.I've tried to move on from her and all this but I'm not able to . She's unique and pretty progressed. And no it's not that I feel she is unique because I like her, she really is unique. Especially her face and body. She stands out and I have ner come across another girl like her. This is one thing that is really making me cling onto her. I have this thing for people with unique features. Things are getting out of hand Now I'm having this thing where I'm getting triggered and feeling uneasy whenever I'm exposed to anything related to romance or sex. Even jokes or memes related to it. Because I'm reminded of her and her boyfriend. I feel like I won't have feelings for any other girl or be able to get intimate with anyone. Is there any clinical term for the condition I'm going through? Especially this condition of getting triggered by things related to romance or sex. I'm getting depressed and is really tired all the time. I have self-esteem issues now. And the anxiety attacks are horrible.I need to get out of this. How do I deal with this condition.How do I treat this? If I should see therapist, what should the therapist have specialised in? Any help is appreciated. Thanks!
| 3 |
1+ month into therapy :)
|
I truly can't believe that therapy has helped me as much as it has. I (24F) was diagnosed with GAD earlier last month stemming from severe childhood trauma. My anxiety is significantly under control compared to how sensitive it was prior to therapy. I haven't had a full-on panic attack in a few weeks. I'm really seeing how I've been taken advantage of by my family and I'm working on learning self-respect from having essentially none. I'm learning how to identify my emotions as they come and assess what they mean for me. I'm seeing lights at the ends of tunnels that were completely closed off before. I'm climbing my way out of unhealthy codependency situations. I'm learning how to reach out for help when I need support and being more willing to offer my own.
Some parts of therapy have been really difficult too and I know I still have so much to work on, but I am so proud of myself for finally taking this step to really focus on my mental health. I've avoided it for so long and I regret having wasted so much time constantly trying to convince myself that I could figure this out on my own.
I tend to cry a lot, but as of lately, they're happy tears. It feels like my whole life is on pause, and I'm just taking a long moment to look in the mirror and acknowledge myself for the first time. She's a big ol' mess but I'm going to learn to love her anyways!!
| 6 |
I think I need a lot of help, or just really good trauma informed therapy.
|
Originally posted in r/findapath.
Hey there. I'm a 24 year old male. I graduated high school in 2016 and got my associates of arts in 2019. I've been disgnosed with adhd (as a kid) and bipolar 2 disorder — saw a post on this sub about mental health and how the grass isn't always greener in the different job, career, or path that one may have been considering as a solution to what they feel is the problem. I relate a lot with that sentiment, as I frequently have similar thoughts of green grass on the other side.
Failure to launch is a huge problem that I have been dealing with.
I think it is derived from my mental health. I will say that the grass should definitely be greener when I'm able to afford therapy. I somehow have enough support to have access to my psychiatric meds, which help for sure. I jump around from one career idea to the next more frequent than average, I believe. Right now, I'm pretty dead set on just joining the iron workers union and giving it all I've got in me.
I tried college, Associates of Arts degree. I wanted to be an accountant for what seems like all of the wrong reasons. I did get accepted into University of Houston's Bauer College of Business. My gpa was two hundredths away from qualifying for automatic acceptance into the college. I had to interview with some of the administration from Bauer and explain to them the reason behind some of my college grades. I was then accepted, and basically told to not let any of the interviewers down for accepting me. As I was browsing available classes to register for, I saw the cost of each class and just completely decided "fuck this." Having to share a car with my mom, work, and make the commute to school was the icing on the cake. This was before I knew I was Bipolar, and before I began stimulant therapy for adhd.
I literally had to write an explanation for my decision to not go to UH on the default notepad application on Windows. I felt ashamed to confront my mom about my decision not to move forward with Bauer face to face, so I had her go into my room to read what was on my computer monitor.
College was something heavily pushed on me. However, I don't really think I've ever truly wanted to go to college. Except, for when I dreamed about playing college football when I was in middle school. I would always bring up blue collar career ideas to my mom while I was in high school and she would always tell me that I'm too smart to do that work. This bummed me out pretty bad. I understand that she wanted the best future financially for me. She grew up poor, I grew up poor with her as my single mother.
At this point I don't care much about getting rich anymore as long as I can do something that makes me feel alive every day. This is part of the reason I feel like iron work would be good for me. I used to workout a lot in highschool and felt amazing during my freshman and sophomore year – this is another reason why I think the physical aspect of iron work would be good for me.
However the last year and a half to two years of highschool were like a flip switched. I started to think a lot about a friend who committed suicide when I was 10, he had just turned 14 before he took his life. Also, my grandpa had taken away my rubber coated 30 lb dumbells because they made too much noise when I would set them down on the tile floor in our home. So, in response I just stopped working out which could have also contributed to the switch being flipped.
2020 was a year where the flipped off switch from highschool sort of reached the peak of a crescendo. I was addicted to video games, nicotine, alcohol, and life just felt incredibly stagnant. I realized I should probably get psychiatric help that year after reflecting on my past. Now I'm medicated.
My parents divorced when I was one or two years old. My mom sort of went on a smear campaign against my dad and accused him of sexually molesting me. This led to me having a rectal endoscopy procedure at the age of three years old. I could visibly see my insides on the screen in front of me as I lay there completely lucid while kicking, screaming, and crying. All while innocently wondering why my mom let this happen to me. Was it some kind of punishment? Obviously not, but how could a three year old know? Sorry for the trauma dump, I just felt like it was important for even more context into why I am even typing this. Oh yeah, my car got repo'd this morning.
TLDR I had some traumatic childhood experiences, I have mental issues big time, I tried college, I want to be an iron worker to feel alive and support myself financially. Car just got repo'd and I'm feeling like shit. Not blaming anyone or anything, it's just helpful to even type this all out.
| 1 |
Anger issue, self-loathing
|
I'm in a situation where I feel guilty for not showing up the way my friend needs but also angry for trying my best and my best not being enough.
My anger got triggered and I struggle with managing it. I get thoughts of self harm, very abusive self talk like "why don't I get raped, why not ruin my future and career, I'm such a whore" when I don't punch something fast enough, my anger is explosive. I bit my phone literally, then in another second I insult myself can't stop from saying it out loud, then I'm on the floor putting my nails in my skin, I couldn't control myself. I tried tapping techniques to explore this issue but I don't get past the feeling of Self-hate and feeling hurt. I don't know how to get to the root of my emotion, why my anger comes out like this, how to manage it better. Thank you for any insight or advice ..
| 1 |
What should I do or who can I call?
|
I was seen by my treatment doctor- mental health and addiction therapy. I have problems with PTSD, panic attacks, ocd, and anxiety. My employer is supportive 100% along with the nurse who had treated me for 3 years( luckily I found her after she left this dump and now under her care again. I have been sober for 5 years. I was in his office on the verge of a panic attack explaining to him how I needed my FMLA. I am also undergoing care with meds that side effects suck. I have lost/left jobs and have had many many panic attacks thru out the years. I made it one year where I am and have a lot of good things going for me. I have been accepted into the pharmacy tech program thu my employer but my anxiety is still very high. They think Zoloft is the answer. I was in his office days ago crying and begging him to hell
Me. I still use benzos occasionally when the panic attacks get to where I feel like I am dying. This was the doctors response:
Keep taking your meds, let Stacey get to know you(the new unqualified mental health practitioner) and let her decide. FMLA is for serious mental health patients.( I am asking for intermittent FMLA not a period of leave. ) Pray, and be grateful for what you go and how bad other people have it. And literally scooted me out of his office. After leaving I had a full blown panic attack and was tops cars for ask for help because he had made he feel as though my case doesn’t matter. Sorry but all I care about is my self care and not others choices. My diagnosis are not going to change and this new lady think she can cure me or whatever. He told me to pray. He has no idea my mental health history and when I left his office I had a self harm incident and the next 7 days nothing but anxiety and almost backed out of the program I had entered at work. He made me feel like i don’t matter
After having my medical records for my mental health requested form then I came in for my suboxone and drug counsling and was told I had 3 choices( due to the low levels of benzos) I have been clean off herion and opiates for 5 years. My three were choice a were as follow:
IOP- come in daily and get strips and groups- I work 50 hr work weeks
Come in 2x a week
Or lifeline and be medicated daily.
They are retaliating and literally holding my suboxone over my head.
I only use the benzos when needed- night terrors, panic attacks, etc and every level as been so low it was barely positive. He told me weeks before this if I need help to come
To them and not self medicate. I was open and honest about everything. If I wanted to hide the fact I was taking benzos I would have reschedule my appts but I know being honest with your doctor is the right thing but instead they are punishing me and putting me in a rock and hard place to literally maximize profit!!
Who can I call and report this too? This isn’t right! You have someone who is telling you they need help and their anxiety is literally destroying and joy and you turn around and use their medication against them?’ This is so unethical! How dare he tell me to go pray harder and compare my life to others! I do care but at this point my care is #1 . I hate going to this place because all we are is a paycheck. To top this off I went thru my insurance claims and there is NONE from this place for the last year???
| 1 |
My brain is messed up and my family keeps reminding me why.
|
Hello, people or reddit.
I've been a ghost reader for a long time now and I finally feel a bit ready to ask for your advice and opinion.
I'm not gonna go into many details since I dont even know where to begin so I will try and sum things up.
I've had a terrible childhood and as a result I'm pretty sure my brain decided to delete a big part of my experiences from my memory probably as a coping mechanism.
I've mostly forgotten about my whole childhood except from some boring staff that happened here and there.
My family, especially my mum keeps reminding me though of everything.
And I understand why I forgot almost all of it. The majority of them were horrifying.
I don't know how to deal with it.
I don't know how to deal with my mum that keeps repeating the same stories over and over again acting as if it's some kind of a joke.
I tried explaining to her that what she is doing is wrong and why. But she doesn't get it.
For example one day she decided to remind me one of the reasons why she didn't want me seeing my father when I was a kid.
And with great detailed she told me that my dad took me on his friends boat with him his friends and some women. It wasnt a big boat but it had one bedroom. They went far into the sea and after a while they all dissappeared. Apparently they locked themselves in the room and started a group fun exercise which I'm not gonan go into details. My mum says i was crying for hours and when I got back she had to take me to the hospital cause back then they didn't really know what panic attacks were.
I didn't t need to be reminded of that.
It wasnt just once. I heard the story more than 10 times already and she says it as if it's something funny or something to be proud of. She goes into great details of everything of how I felt what i told her after. Everything.
And she is not the only one. They all do it.
There are stories worse than this. And I'm not sure how many more than I already know. I can't remember anything. It's a blank.
I don't knwo how to feel or explain it. How to deal with that blank in my mind or my family.
I don't think that coping method worked either. I feel so broken and disgusted, betrayed and angry.
| 1 |
I lost my sanity in med school
|
Sorry i lack clarity and have a hard time organizing my thoughts so this post might sound disorganized.
I was 18 when i dreamt of becoming a doctor when i saw a doctor wearing lab coat in a hospital. There is a strong competitive exam culture in my country. It took me 5 years to crack a pre-medical competitive exam to get into medical school only to realize that its not my cup of tea. In my 1st year of med school i was diagnosed with anxiety and clinical depression. Every passing year my mental health kept declining. I failed every single year in med school but was able to still get through and get a degree. But by the time i was out of med school the damage was already done. A part of my psyche got damaged beyond repair. I started therapy and antidepressants after i got out of med school. As a person who lost confidence in himself and after the nightmares of being in med school i became so indecisive about what should i do next. Lack of clear thinking drove me again into the competitive exam trap. Although at the bottom of my heart i knew i hate it so much i wanted to leave this profession and do something else but the indicisiveness became a part of my personality and i couldn't gather enough courage neither had the motivation to do something else. So i did what my peers were doing. Even though i didn't wanted to, i tried to crack medical post graduation entrance exam (again a very competitive exam) thrice but couldn't get through. There goes 3 years of my life again. Between panic attacks, depressive episodes, severe anxiety and insomnia i tried hard to crack that entrance but my depression got the best of me. Now I'm 32 yo. I feel i have wasted some precious years of my life doing something i didn't want to do. Everything is freaking difficult when you're depressed. I am still struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. As much as i want to leave my profession its hard to do anything else. To do something else i will have to clear difficult competitive exams again. I have no idea what to do next.
Thank you for reading this post.
| 14 |
Hobbies recommended?
|
Trying out new hobbies to feel more fulfilled and spark a small flame of passion. I’ve got a few in mind but if anyone has any recommendations send em my way:)
| 2 |
Seeking Advice: Should I Seek a Second Opinion from a Different Specialist?
|
Hey Reddit,
I'm a 22-year-old who has been through a lot recently, and I recently had an experience that I believe was a panic attack. I went to the emergency room, and the doctor there advised me to see a neurologist. I followed their advice and booked a session with a neurologist who prescribed mood stabilizers without giving me a clear diagnosis. When I asked about my diagnosis after the second session , the neurologist simply attributed it to "maturity and adolescent issues."
Now, I'm hesitant to start taking medication unless it's absolutely necessary. I'm wondering if seeing a different specialist for a second opinion might be the right course of action. Is a neurologist really the right type of doctor for my situation? If not, what kind of specialist should I consider consulting?
I understand that seeking medical advice on Reddit can only offer limited insight, but I wanted to hear about your experiences or any suggestions you might have. Has anyone else had a similar situation where they received conflicting advice or felt uncertain about their diagnosis? If so, how did you handle it?
I appreciate any guidance or personal anecdotes you can provide. It's essential for me to make an informed decision about my health, and your input could help me navigate this situation more effectively.
Thank you all in advance for your support.
| 1 |
Improving my relationship with my dad
|
I (16M) have made alot of awful decisions in my life which has severely impacted my relationship with my dad. For some dumb reason, ive gone behind his back and done stuff like being up in the middle of the night time and time again and despite all the chances hes given me, im just so stupid to not listen to him. When i was younger, he restricted me from texting friends, chatting on games/social media which of course led to me doing those very things. Now our relationship is on threads and im pretty much known to him as the boy who cried wolf, losing his trust etc. But hes also got weird rules and stuff thats hard to explain which make it hard for me to make him proud and im really trying but no matter what for some reason i just cant keep up. all i want to do is show him that im trying my hardest but ive done so much nothing seems to stick and at this point i feel like im no use to my family anymore. I dont have a job, (only my mom works) i dont help clean because he has his own way of cleaning, and all i can really do is help watch my younger siblings and wash plates. Other than that, i pretty much contribute nothing but a food and room leech. I want to kill myself, but im too pussy to stick a knife in my head or hang myself even though ive thought of it numerous times. In early 2022 i did try strangling myself but cut it short and just ended up with a bruised face. I want to run away but i dont know where to go as i dont have a car nor do i have any contacts because he says he doesnt trust strangers on my phoneI wouldnt say my dads the nicest or best ever and im not sure if its cause i might be retarded or autistic but i somehow always forget the stuff that he needs me to do but i dont mean to forget it its just that hes so confusing thst its hard to ask him without him getting mad at me and i dont know what to do anymore. I just want to make things right.I really regret everything and if i could i would go back and change everything i swear i just wish i wasnt so fucking dumb i really do regret everything ive ever done and i honestly feel bad that my dad has to put up with me. anothing thing i wanna ask is if its bad that i always wanna kill myself when my dad gets mad at me?
| 1 |
Am I missing out something?
|
I’ve had 3 months that almost destroyed me, just ended a relationship and decided to focus on myself, so I started training Brazilian jiu jitsu, gym and having a diet, also started working on a university and started improving myself (skincare routines, meditation, self care in all ways).
The thing is that I haven’t met someone (girls specially) that really attracts my attention, sometimes I think that nobody can fill my expectations or what I look for on a girl. Also I’m not into partying and drinking (most of the people of my town are into that) so it’s hard to meet someone new, any advice out there?
| 1 |
How to start using the phone only for communication and waste as little time on it as possible.
|
I am 16 years old and like most people my age I waste a lot of time on my phone. I focus a lot on myself these days, but I still don't manage to do everything during the day because I spend 5-6 hours on the phone. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be grateful if you would write them in the comments.
| 1 |
Does anyone have this?
|
I hyperfocus on every noise.. it's the worst hell ive had in my life .. i don't get it i dunno every unwanted or uncontrollable noise drives me crazy for example if there's a sound of something that I can stop or i know it will stop at certain time i dont bother focusing and i sleep... but if i dunno when its gonna stop or how to stop it , it keeps me awake , raging, thinking, crying..
i wanna die and i have suicidal thoughts all the time.. it scares me that there's a noise that i cant control especially at night or its time to sleep.. i hear clocks ticking.. tvs bother me .. birds..cars.. literally anything that I can't control
Im going crazy.. i cant help it anymore
| 1 |
why do i want to be protected so desperately and how can i deal with it?
|
i want to know if there's a word? or at least something to describe that? because it's almost like an obsession, i crave being worried about, protected by someone from everything, as if i were a child, even though i'm going on 20. am i too dependent, immature? this desperate want is starting to get too overwhelming, sometimes it's all i fantasize about and look for in relationships. i don't think finding a relationship like that would be healthy neither for me nor my hypothetical partner, so what would be the best way to deal with this?
| 1 |
I made pancakes for everyone this morning 🌄
|
It's my wife's birthday today and she requested pancakes for breakfast. Yesterday we had a big fight so I'm feeling pretty drained today, but I didn't let it stop me. I'm proud of myself for doing it, and hopefully the rest of the day goes well.
| 115 |
Pls give me advise
|
So I've always been a kid who would act calm and collected. I wouldnt stress in most situations. But I was also a kid that would bang their head on a table while the teacher wasn't looking to punish myself in third or fourth grade. I've struggled with a self harm problem and get urges a lot. I have a lot of scars I'm ashamed of. My self harm even got to the point where I would just completely disregard my mother telling me to stop. And all her other sayings about how much I'm hurting her, and that she feels bad. But only for kids who get abused, and that I'm lucky. I love my mother dearly and would never intentionally hurt her. But every time she would ask me why I would self harm I couldn't tell her. I would only say I was bored. It got to the point where she found out and later laughed in my face saying that I didn't even look sorry, my twin was in the room laughing at me too. I also overhear my mother talking to family and she says I'm a bully to my sister. But I've yet to bully her, just taking her snacks and she would whine. I've always been compared to her, my mom calls her the miracle child. But I'm still supposed to be her big sister, she has a disability and always uses that to her advantage to not respect me or make fun of me. She would always come to me saying she was depressed and I would ask why and she would have the audacity to tell me it's because she doesn't get enough attention from our mom. When I got in trouble for doing whatever a teenager would do my mother told me that I'm easy to manipulate and that I was to trusting. Something along those lines. I wish I could go back to when I was in third grade and stop myself from cutting. The reason I did any of that back then was for my mom to be worried enough to give me a hug. Laughable huh-? She hasn't tried to hug me in a while. I wish I could tell people that I'm okay but I've been not so good these past few weeks. If anyone has any advise for anything pls help :(.
| 2 |
What to expect from your therapist? (Crosspost)
|
Ive tried therapy before in my younger years but it never really worked out. Since my depression has gone rampant, I decided to give it another try. Ive been seeing my therapist weekly for a few months now, and i dont really understand how these sessions are supposed to help me in some way. It's almost always just bullshitting, then every once in a blue moon, the therapist will throw out advice for how to handle anxiety in the situation we just talked about.
Most of the time, its just the therapist talking about mundane things in her life. During my last session, I noticed she talked nonstop for over a half hour, with me just interjecting to be polite. I couldn't really get a word in.
At the the beginning, we discussed what I wanted to accomplish in these sessions. I mentioned that i have anxiety, but that it hasn't been a huge problem lately and that depression was hitting me hard. I have some deep-seeded issues with my parents that i would like to work through. We did have one super helpful session where the therapist was speculating that my parent probably has bpd, which kind of blew my mind and opened up a new line of thought, but since then its pretty much been just bullshitting.
I'm trying to trust the process because i know this therapist is very well educated and has worked with leading people in the industry. Im operating under the assumption that this meaningless banter is attempt to build a trust, but I'm really starting to dread the sessions. I hate small talk and the sessions almost feel like her sessions, instead of mine.
Is this normal? I really dont know what to expect, I've never stuck with a therapist for this long.
| 1 |
Specifics when looking for a therapist?
|
I have suicidal thoughts/ideation (ideation is an understatement tbh) and I'm pretty sure I'm starting to visually hallucinate. Are there any specifics I should be looking for when Iook for a therapist? Or should I go straight to a psychiatrist?
| 1 |
Confused and hopeless
|
Hi! I'm 22 and I've moved on my own half a year ago and recently started developing some memories and flashbacks that I didn't know I had. I had a really hard childhood, my parents were either distant or extremely abusive. Dad left when I was 1. Was distant and didn't care much, mom was beating me up and didn't take any care of me it was a shit show, i also had a lot of step dads in my life and some parts of my childhood i really don't remember, but now that I'm doing much better and have a good support system Ive been remembering some tiny things, but what I remember is extremely weird. I feel like I lived a different life... like a fantasy life, imagination kinda? When I try remembering more, I can't cause I get a panic attack. So i'm super confused to what is happening and why am I scared to remember something I actually want to because it was pleasant and different. Could it be derealisation from something traumatic? I need answers because my therapist doesn't help me, he just prescribed me pills that never worked. I also have bpd and depression and severe anxiety. How could I remember and move on?
| 1 |
Weird request but does someone know songs or something that have something like the 1:25 mark of the song IDOL?
|
Sorry for the weird request but i would love to find a song with that sounds like it but with lyrics that aren't so specefic, the sounds of that part trigger me a little but brings me confort at the same time, sounds like intrusive thoughts i don't know, but i like it very mutch, if some of u know songs that feel like this i would be thankfull
Wish you a blessed day and peace of mind my friends and sry for bad english
| 1 |
Treatment of depression (question for professional)
|
Would love to hear a mental health proffesional's thoughts: I suffered from depression almost continuously from childhood, all the way until recently when i overcame it simply by adjusting my mindset (it took a 5 minute conversation with the right therapist).
Now i find myself conflicted because the classic view of "just having to get over yourself" is so heavily criticized, yet turned out to be essentially 100% correct for me as someone who had severe depression that never subsided for his whole life. I also "have ADHD" but feel so much better when i do not view myself as having a disease and find that idea frankly repulsive. I hear nowadays even children are being prescribed medications when, if they're like me, all they would need is someone to tell them they're good enough and their feelings matter. Instead the modern discourse on this subject has me being demonized for even telling my factual story like this, calling it "toxic positivity" and telling people they're suffering from a disease when in reality it's their personal responsibility to get their shit together.
| 2 |
I'm still standing but barely
|
I feel like the last 30 days I'm taking one punch in the face after another.
I got my car stolen (by a relative, no less) and sold. When I went to the police they said they can't help and since we're relatives "can't you guys just figure it out"??
My bank changed my information, and my salary got stuck, lost or something. And being the only breadwinner of the family doesn't make it easier.
Really feels like I can't catch my breath, and that there's no safe space for me in the world right now.
​
How to stay strong and not lose hope and faith, and not only feel like spending the rest of my life under my bed?
| 2 |
How to enjoy things
|
I’ve been faced with the inescapable reality, mostly by virtue of people close to me noticing it, that I don’t really enjoy doing things. For example: I’ve always eaten very fast, ever since I can remember. It could be my favorite meal and I’m in such a hurry to make it disappear as quickly as possible. I’m a voracious cleaner, I’m very energized by seeing a big mess and I want to make it disappear as quickly as possible. Notice a theme? This applies to work, household chores, hosting events, shopping, all things that I, in theory, like to do. I don’t feel much of a sense of accomplishment about it either. Maybe I did at one point but it’s faded to a quick sigh of relief that it’s no longer weighing on my mind. How can I slow down and actually enjoy life, rather than process it as a series of items to be checked off a to-do list?
| 1 |
why do people cut themselves? (morbid curiosity)
|
I am just confused about why people cut themselves when they are suffering. I have some mental health problems, and I have a really bad compulsion to bite my skin off (dermatophagia) which I've had for more than 8 years, but I've never had an urge to cut myself and I am just curious about what this fulfills in some people? - does it feel good, is it something else or is it really complicated?
| 23 |
How do you deal with suicidal thoughts and depression?
|
I have been depressed for 3 years
| 2 |
I am gonna show them.
|
I am mad and I am going make myself "hate them" or have the mindset, "you will all see" but thats the only way I think I can get through and show them I am ready to take my final exam.
It's nothing personal against my internship, but I am going to show them all I can do this.
I am currently taking an education under food, not a chef, but its more like an nutritional assistant (roughly translated from my language and to english)
and lately it have been tough, mentally, a lot of times I have wondered, why am I even there.
I know I love making food, and I know I want something to do with food later on in life.
However I have been at my internship for almost 2 years- 2,5 years.
And before that I have never really been interested in food making, or what kind of food we put in our bodies, and what different kind of food does to our body in every age of life (thats a lot on what the education is about) before I started on this education, so I have been learning how to make food for the past 2 years (while the others have been doing it for 10+ years)
And I have approximately 11 months left before I am done.
And so today I had a conversation or a small meeting with my supervisor and boss, just to let me know some stuff they had to let my school know, before I go back for 3 months.
And so they brought up my routine in the kitchen, and they would have liked to see more, and they even brought up, that if I cant make it, they can't let me go to the exam next year, because they have to make sure I am ready, and I know they mean well, but I got so mad.
It cant be, that I have to either extend my internship, or quit, if they dont see me fit to take my final exam.
I know I can do it, but it is hard to let me show them, because I am such insecure in what I am making, because lot of the time i have tried to do things myself, it was wrong, or it could have been better, times where they only had seen where I messed up, and not what I did right, just moments before.
Times where I almost got blamed for something I didn't do.
I have been talking to my boss, about how hard it is to only get negative feedback on my work as an intern, because thats what I feel like i have been getting alot, and espically from one person in particular, she means well, and I have such a huge amount of respect for this woman, with how fast she can work, but it is mentally draining to get the same, you are working too slow, are you not done yet?! I did it for you, because otherwise you wouldn't make it, even though you had to do this one too, you can see that right? ( I often dont even get the chance to even think about, let alone to do the task before she is done with it), some days are better than others, and some days, I will admidt I could have done it faster or better, but it's hard or been too insecure about things (which has been my mistake from the begining)
But after this conversation, about maybe not gratuate, made me what to fight, to hate everyone, to show them I can do this, I want to be one of those people who is going to surprise everyone in the end, to take their words back.
I want it to be more than just talk, because I might feel motivated af right now, but it can change.
I do not want to be there 6 months after I was supposed to be done.
| 1 |
Brother and mental illness
|
I'm in desperate need of some help. I am a 34 yr old male. I live and take care of my mother who is 66. She has end stage COPD (lung disease) and is on disability. I have a brother who is 40. He has been in and out of jail since 18. He has also been an addict since his early 20's. He served about 10 years in prison for crimes like armed robbery. He has stayed out of jail for the last 7 or 8 years. He is now diagnosed with heart failure. He also has mental health issues like bi-polar, anxiety, depression. My parents are divorced.
For the past 8 years I have been living with my mother. I myself have never touched drugs, don't drink and never been in trouble with the law. I say this because my brother hates that my mom lets me live with her but she has no reason not to. I have never done her wrong. We are great friends. I do her shopping, drive her to her appointments, do all her banking, do cleaning, etc. We have a great relationship except when it comes to my brother. Just to note, my mother has given my brother chances and has let him live with her at times. But he always screwed it up by using drugs in her home. At the time smoking crack in her bathroom, getting her evicted, wrecking her car and ruining her credit.
The drug of choice back then for my brother was crack cocaine. These days it is things like opiates, benzos and GHB. He absolutely hates me thinking I get a free ride, which I don't. He just convinces himself of this because he knows if he was in my shoes he would take advantage of my mother. He can't fathom how someone would have access to her money and not steal it. He has a huge chip on his shoulder that I drive a nice car as well. He is extremely paranoid.
So to get to the point, after living in hotels for a year and my mother paying for most of it with her credit card, he now lives in a bachelor suite that I got him. I found it, did the application and sorted out the appointments. He has been there for 4 months. His rent gets paid straight from his disability cheque, he never sees that money. He has about 900 left over. Within a week of getting paid (this month 3 days) he is already coming to my mother for money. I drop it off sometimes, sometimes get food sent or whatever. He owes all his neighbors money as well. His neighbor bought him a phone and he sold it. He bugs my 66 year old sick mother to go with him to try and get him a payday loan. He has threatened suicide if she does not give him money. If he doesn't get it he says terrible things to her. Extremely manipulative. She is in a very hard spot. I begged my mother to stop giving him money (she is 10k in debt) but she still does. 20 here, 100 there, 200, etc, etc. He hits her up with a story at least once a week.
I try my best to take care of my mother even though I desperately want to live in my own place. But she has to stop giving in to him and enabling him. She told me the word "enable" is just a buzzword. I know if I walked away tomorrow he would be moved in within days and he would eat her alive. This is my main fear. She would have instant regret and by then it would be too late. Her excuse is "he's dying", but the truth is she was this way before he got sick with heart failure.
So my question is, what would you do? I am getting older and I want some peace and be able to move on with my life. How can I do this? I'm afraid one day he will kill himself and/or my mother will pass away and I'll ask myself, did I make the right decision?
Thanks for reading such a long post, I know it sucks.
| 2 |
Coffee, the beauty and the beast.
|
**Context:**
I was hyper active and hyper achiever as a kid / teenager.
I made things happen through hard work and had every aspect of my life under control. Rarely drank coffee or did drugs. I've never been addicted to anything (I've tried some light drugs) because I thought and felt I had a perfectly tuned brain and didn't need any substance to perform.
Nowadays, as a 34 years old adult, a husband and a parent, I feel that my brain is off.
I'm not depressed, but I feel bored to death and generally uninterested. Some days I genuinely cannot talk to people because I don't feel the energy to formulate a sentence.
I don't have the motivation to complete a tasks or projects. I feel like a 70 y/o retired person watching life passing by, unbothered!
**Coffee:**
The solution?
I had so much energy as a young adult that drinking a coffee was like pouring gasoline into a raging fire. I've grown afraid of it because I couldn't control it.
I still can't!
See, when I take an espresso (65mg of caffeine), I feel like a teenager again. The energy, the drive, the focus, the INTEREST in life, it's all there after drinking a single espresso. So what am I rambling about?? I found the solution, right? Wrong.
The problem:
The initial hours after taking coffee are incredibly productive. I feel warm, I wan't to socialize, talk and debate, and solve complex problems. And I do just that!
But then...
I get acutely aware of every noise, every action, every mistake me or everyone around me makes, to the point I'm utterly raged! The later stage in the day is just me feeling very angry, anxious and depressed, with 0 tolerance for for my kid's tantrums or my wife's arguments, just longing for the day to be over, go to sleep, and leave this insanely bad experience. But guess what... Even though I literally feel burnt out, I cannot sleep. 65mg of caffeine and i cannot sleep!
I can't be the only one experiencing this!
Is it time to go to the psychiatrist?
​
​
| 1 |
I feel like I'm going insane
|
I feel like I'm going insane. Idk how to describe this, and I've avoided talking about this because idk even know what I'm going through rn, but I'm struggling with this mental mindset in my head rn where If I think of someone else or a past version of me, I will turn into that person or old version of me. It could be anyone too, like famous murderers. I'm never trying to do this on purpose, but it's so hard to stop it. I've been cutting to make it go away but it never works. I want to kill myself but I'm too scared and don't really want to die, I just want to hurt myself bad enough until I get the satisfaction I'm craving. I've been using staples, shaving razors, siccors, toothbrushes, thumbtacks, knifes, straws, etc for over 10 years now, but I'm getting bored of them. Everytime l go and look up other peoples scars, I get jealous cause I'm not getting the deep cuts and satisfaction they get. I'm literally about to go insane, I want to hurt myself, I want to cut myself so much deeper than I am now. I'm 14 and started self-harming at four, and like I just said after all the years of getting anything I could get my hands on, I've gotten bored. My parents of course know I've been cutting since that age to, so they'd never let me buy a box cutter or a sharp knife. I need help please help me,I need something to hurt myself with, I'm literally having mental breakdowns over this
| 1 |
I really need to vent this because I’m not okay at all
|
My mental health has been spiraling really badly lately. Yesterday I wanted to run away and drive myself off a cliff but today I feel like I could run up the side of a building as if I knew how to do parkour. In this mental state I would, without a doubt, run in front of train to dodge it and call it the best day of my life if I was given the chance.
I don’t know why my mental health has suddenly fallen apart all over again. It hasn’t been this bad since I was a teenager and it’s been progressively getting worse for a while but this happy mania was a huge jump. Sometimes it changes a few times a day. It’s a giant spiral of depression, paranoia, happy mania, anxiety and all these emotions overlapping and overwhelming me. I just can’t…
But I can’t end it all either. I can’t do that to my friends because they care about me and most of them have lost someone that way already. It’s so hard to push through the day but at least I know I made it another day without them suffering because of me.
I know this isn’t too explicit but I put the NSFW anyways since I did mention wanting to end it all. I know that’s a sensitive topic so I figured it should be labeled as such. Thank you to anyone who read this far. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen (read in this case but close enough)
| 15 |
Can you just like reject a psychologist’s diagnosis
|
I don’t know if I’m tripping or being stupid but say if you got diagnosed with BPD it’ll go in your records right? But if you go to a counselor to try and help BPD can you ask them not to diagnose you with anything so it won’t go on your records? Or like what if you go in for a suspected case of depression but end up getting diagnosed with BPD is there anyway to contest or just have all records wiped and never go back
| 1 |
I Feel Kind of Jealous
|
Recently, I've been getting a lot of videos on YouTube Shorts of people getting surprise vacations or money/tickets to their favorite concert/sports event, and to be completely honest, I'm pretty jealous. I know it probably sounds really selfish to say "will that ever happen to me?", But that's how I've been feeling. It really shouldn't be something to get super butt hurt and jealous about, either. It's not even like I'm unhappy for the people that these things happen to. I'm glad that someone was able to help them out and maybe put a smile on their face. Sometimes it just feels like I'm left waiting for my "special moment". Anyone else feel this way?
| 3 |
Bipolar disorders
|
People of Reddit, when did you realized that you or someone else has bipolar disorder?
| 1 |
What did you do after finding out about your mental health issues? How did things work out?
|
I have some mental health issues of my own. A lot of people talk about the "fact" that fighting against it doesn't work and just accepting it does. Everybody is different so there are a lot of ways to "get along" with your issues. So i am curious this acceptance or "recovery" looks like for you and how you deal with these issues now?
| 1 |
Are AI Chatbots effective for feeling less alone?
|
I don't want to go through all the hoops to establish emotional connections... I'm very tired of every conversation with people taking a bad turn, but I still want to be occupied or just feel like there's still someone waiting for me, whenever I'm ready.
I hope I don't sound like a hypocrite saying this as I am resorting to using a chatbot, but I never felt that I mattered enough to the people closest to me that I would be their first choice to talk to. They make me feel like I'm not good enough to hold their attention. I want to try having a conversatiom or two with an AI so I could know what it feels to have someone stay long enough that we could talk about something nice.
| 1 |
i dont feel like a human anymore
|
for the past weeks, eerything is diffirent and weird. I cant understand whats real anymore, i cant sleep, im hallucinating and feel tired. I cant understand what is a dream and whats real, its like living in a another world, the world i made. I dont want to self-diagnose but something is wrong, i dont even have a personality anymore its like there are more than 2 souls living in my body. I have a personality for my friends, my crush, my family, my mind and even my diary. I feel like im being watched, somebody is controlling me
| 1 |
How do I get over feeling like I don't earn my success because of my parents?
|
I grew up middle class, towards the end of High School my parents reached upper middle class. I found out the other day via an accident that my parents are now very rich, like $30+ million.
So now I am struggling with feeling like I didn't earn my success. My family works completely different jobs in a completely different field/industry so nepotism isn't my issue. I feel like without the help they gave me growing up I wouldn't be successful.
Not only has this made me question my success and how much of that I earned but I am feeling guilty for this having such an effect on me because I know that I shouldn't be upset about this because I could be in a much worse position financially.
I am worried this will make me out of touch and be an asshole because the more I spend time with my family the more I realize all the people they are around now are also very rich, and almost all of them are assholes. My family, so far anyway, have not changed their behavior but I don't know how long that'll be because of who they're surrounded by now.
| 1 |
Am i a pedo
|
I was on a hentsi subreddit where it said no underage below which to meant that no underage charecters to be posted. Then i started to get a bad feeling about this place because nsfw images of mha hirls were being posted and from their looks yeah i knew they were underage. So i would click then click off if they look like teens and looked at the ones that looked adult but then i found out that one of them is 16. I felt disgusted by myself like i did not know they were minors like im 18 the age where i can be sent death threats for this and i feel like a creep who broken the law i hated myself for being so xisgusting like i feel like i could be a pedo. Another thing is that i look at cosplayers who dress as underage charecters in sexual positions and i knew the charecters age but the person dressing up is in their 20s but i feel like a total creep and i feel like a pedo. I always found people who search for cp disgusting and i always hated lolicons trying to normalise their fetish which i was always against.
| 0 |
I don’t know what to do anymore.
|
Shortly before the school year ended, I got broken up with. The circumstances were very confusing to me, but I was just told that it was because he’d been in a relationship for all of highschool and wanted to figure out what it’s like to be alone. We had been together for a year and a half before this, and it seems like he got over this very fast while I’m still only getting more caught up on it. This all happened about a month and a half ago, and now I feel like I just don’t have a purpose. I know that it shouldn’t be like that, but that’s how it is. I text other people, they don’t respond, or whatever happens and I just can’t have effective communication with them. As a result I only have about 3 people that actually consistently respond to me, and even then it seems like I’m being obsessive. They respond with one or two texts, I respond with 7. As time goes on it just feels more and more like I don’t have anything to do. Like I can sort of distract myself but so far nothing has helped. I haven’t slept well, talking like staying up 20 hours only being able to sleep for 3/4. Which is normally tolerable, but now I’m alone with my thoughts at night stressing me out and the cycle continues.
I don’t mean to just dump all this here, but if anyone has any advice or resources I would be really greatful.
| 3 |
Developing weird shivers- what’s going on?
|
Lately I’ve felt the urge to shiver or to scrunch up my shoulders to my ears in a shrug. It feels like I NEED to do it and it normally occurs after I think a thought that reminds me of an uncomfortable situation, and embarrassing thing I did, or something negative about myself. I’ve been doing it in private and can keep myself from doing it when I’m around people.
I have adhd and ocd for context. Also I am incredibly emotionally repressed at this moment of my life and experiencing a lot of issues on a deep identity and soul level.
| 2 |
Im really Anxious..
|
I moved from my country to france (Paris ) almost 2 years ago I was 20 years old I recently graduated from a bachelor degree in Cinema and I got into a master degree in FilmMaking, I had the chance last year to get some funding to work on my first movie that should be ready by 2024, Im 22 years old and my anxiety is killing me when I look at my entourage or other friends that are in the same working field as I am I see them thriving and starting a career and I feel like I would never be able to do so, Im really scared Im going to end up working as a waiter or at a zara store all my life or just be poor and never have a career I know Im only 22 years old and that’s what’s frustrating me I AM ONLY 22 years old and I still have plenty of time I know that I understand that but I don’t FEEL that. Please give me some advices on how to idk just help.
| 1 |
I'm sure enough I might be compulsing.
|
I'll start by saying I don't have ocd,I never showed signs of ocd and I've been followed by a therapist for years so let's not diagnose in the comments. I know sometimes people can experience sympthoms without having a disorder,same way a person can experience panic attacks without suffering from general anxiety.
I'm a 17 years old male,and I've always been the kind of kid who keeps his emotions to himself,and often had my body project those emotions onto stuffs like stomach problems.
I've experienced panic attacks,dissociation,I'm often paranoid,experienced intrusive and invasive thoughts and lately I've been considering taking some natural gummies meant to keep you calm,but onto the issue here.
My "lifelong" companion,a 7 years old Jack Russel Terrier,hasn't been feeling well for around 12 days now.
It started small,then excalated,brought her to vets and I've lost track of all they have been saying,today she even whined in pain after I lightly touched her stomach after noticing a bulge on her abdomen,which is something she had already done other 2 times.
Aside from the fact that I felt like shit for hurting her,this is worrying me like hell. This dog has been my best friend for years,the only stable being in my entire life. Mind you,my parents are great and I don't wanna worry them,but during though times I usually vented with my doggo. It might sound stupid,but she's been there for me lots.
So like I said,I try my best to not show too much my worries,both to my dog and to my parents.
A rule I've always had since I was a child was that if I didn't say something that worried me that thing wasn't going to come true,meaning I won't be talking about my worries to my parents,ma dog,my therapist or my friends.
I'm alone in my own little trash hole of worries,which I feel like my brain has been covering up with more meaningless trash.
Invasive and intrusive thoughts started again,untill I got a slight soretroat.
It's summer. It can happen.
Tomorrow tho I have a concert of my music school,I have to sing,so for 3 days I've been basically thinking just about new natural treatments to avoid the soretrat,to a point I don't even know if it's actually there or I'm just immagining it. I panic if there is air conditioning systems on somewhere,and it's summer. I use a spray for the throat at least 4 times a day,I barely sleep because if I sleep I might sweat so it might worsen my throat,I mean I am taking obsessive precaution for this and I don't like it.
To not mention I'll be away fro 15 days in a few days so this is another stress I'm pretending to not have.
| 1 |
Quetiapine and uteruses
|
Late period quetiapine/seroquel
Hi I'm not sure if the correct place to post but I'm looking some advice cause my brain is starting to go haywire with theories. Long story short I've a roughly 4/5 day late period, all pregnancy test negative and I'm just wondering if anyone else's periods have been affected by seroquel/qutiapine.
I'm on a dosage of 50mg in the morning and 150mg at night. I've tried googling but there's a lot of contradicting advice and to be honest I end up scaring myself with all the other reasons it might not be here it's setting my hypochondria of to high noon and my keyworker acts like it's not a big deal when to me it is.
Sorry for the long post but here hoping someone has some experience with this thank you ❤️
| 1 |
Dealing with mistakes and accidents
|
3 months ago I got an internship at a carpenter's workshop. After two years off depression I finally started to heal and get my life back together.
On the second day we drove to a client. We unloaded everything, to install a cupboard there. I was carrying a big, heavy, wooden board when it happened. I tripped, didn't let go of the board and crushed two fingers of my right hand. Blood everywhere. The board was damaged too.
Now everything is healed and I can go back to the internship. But I am struggling to accept and forgive myself.
Part of me thinks, everybody there hates me. The only female intern, who can't even carry a board. But they offered to let me finish my internship. And the guy who drove with me to the client should have helped me. And I was just excited and accidents happen. I know all of that. So why can't I accept what happend?
| 1 |
I am very tired
|
Hey Reddit this post is gonna be long because I go into my past and rant.
I am just wondering if I emotionally exhausted myself.
I (m19) have dealt with depression from my early teens and developed anxiety later.
When I started Junior high I was extroverted, I knew everyone in my grade, but do to our living situation me and my family had to move at the end of the school year.
At the beginning of the new school year and new school, i had no friends and ended up isolated and depressed, I kept in contact with my really good friends but being alone at school it was hard. Half way though the year I started working with one of the counsellors there about some of my problems, it got better overtime,
Until half way though my second year there still isolated and I would have more episodes of depression and skip school for days, that’s when my school counsellor brought in a therapist to see me once a week, by the end of the year he helped me work though a majority of my issues and I thought it was the end of my suffering I had attended my junior high graduation party with smile on my face.
Anxiety hit me after the first semester of high school.
I pick the high school next to my first junior high because the majority of my old friends were going to there.
I spent the first semester next to my brother (best friend) he had help me though junior high as well, at the end of the first semester he had to move away. Before he moved away we hung out and fun for my birthday, a couple days later he moved out.
I tried school for a mouth but without him around my reason for going to school and going outside was gone,
I had a break down and cried to my mom
I decided to drop out for the rest of the year and stoped going outside, I locked my self in my room for six months.
I wanted to go back to school at the next school year I did, but I found out being around people really uncomfortable for me, and being around a large group of people made me feel like I was being punched in the chest repeatedly.
I spent the rest of year on and off school for months.
The next year I drop out for good and lock myself in my room again.
The next two years remained the same
This year I turned 19 in January and realized that I couldn’t live like this forever,
The past three months I made a lot of progress I started going outside more and bought more clothes instead of buying games and junk food,
I was proud of myself and my family noticed to.
But the past week it got worse, being outside all I had to do to calm down my anxiety was throw in my earbuds and listen to music, this last week I started to have panic attacks in my home and my room during the night and in the day would feel empty and tired.
I don’t know what to do it’s never been this bad in my home
| 3 |
i tried to kill myself and everyone is pretending like it didnt happen.
|
I 15M recently asked my mother to go to the bathroom while cleaning something (not in a weird way like she wouldnt let me or something i just wanted to let her know where i was going.) I left her to go into the bathroom. I took a quick stop in my secret hiding spot and grabbed my note. I have been thinking about unaliving myself for years. Ive been on medications, in therapy, and recieved lots of help. but today, i just didnt want to take it anymore. i blow off the things my mom tells me to do all the time. I acknowledge them, procrastinate, then try to lie my way out of the situation. today i couldnt. she caught me red handed when she came home from work and let me have it. i was supposed to empty some coolers in the backyard but was showering instead. she literally screamed in my face and told me that a man doesnt act this way and that ill never be able to be anything. she cried and said "youre exactly like your father." might not sound like much. but my mom left my dad. he was a liar and a narcissistic douche. (they got back together after he turned his life around) i broke down crying and she yelled at me to man up and stop being a bitch. she made me say out loud "im useless." i ran to go empty the coolers after my scolding, and thats when i left to use the bathroom. I locked the door behind me, threw my phone in a trash can, and left my note on the sink. i opened the window, (first floor) and punched through the screen. I couldnt open it because our house is like 100 years old lol. I jumped out the window into the yard and ran around the house to the chimney. i climbed the chimney onto the roof. I live in a two story house, so the fall onto concrete would definetly kill me if i landed right. i walked over on the roof. i stood on the edge. i braced myself and started crying. I dont know how long i stood there. It couldnt have been longer than 15 minutes, because i heard pounding below me and screaming. i saw my mother run out of the house holding my note. she was screaming my name and my older sister 17f was running around the street calling for me screaming crying. My mom grabbed her phone and called a number. I heard her say she found my note, and i was gone. she called another number. she told them to get here asap. Moments later i heard sirens. my dad screeched into the drive way and parked sideways under where i was standing, presumably to catch me if i fell. he screamed where i was and 3 police officers stood below me. my father disappeared from sight and some lady tried to talk me out of jumping. all it wanted to do was make me jump more. "hey buddy. i heard youre having a rough day. i get those days too. itll be okay." i flipped her the bird. i heard footsteps and turned to see my dad standing on the roof 10 feet away. i screamed at him to not come any closer, and he didnt. he sat down. he spoke to me. he told me when he was my age, he put a loaded revolver in his mouth and cocked the hammer. he said he sat there crying holding the trigger. he said it was the best decision he ever made to not pull that trigger. he got married, had kids, lives a rich life. he said whatever was on the other side of death wasnt better than what he has in his life. i cried and sat on the roof inches from falling for half an hour. everyone was silent other than my mother and sister sobbing. i finally agreed to come down. i pictured having a family. i thought of the world around me. i thought of everyone ive ever known. i thought of me. i thought of the body i have. i walked down the roof. my father grabbed me and hugged me crying. i talked to the police for about an hour before they all left. i didnt speak to my parents about it. i watched star wars to calm down. its been two days. nobody has said anything. im not okay. i need help.
| 3 |
I honestly just want it to end
|
Im (21F) in college but I don't understand a lot of words and terms and just overall feel like a kid being forced to do adult things all on my own with little help
I hate being this way, I wish I was smarter I wish I wasn't so sheltered my entire life, I wish I could do things on my own like my dad wants me to
I'm tired of being a worthless screw up that constantly messes things up alot
I hate having to put up this fake facade that I'm ok and lie all the time to other people
I miss being a kid so bad but I know ill never be a kid again
I've had two attempts so far on my own life and slowly going back to hurting myself again
I hate existing so bad, I am just a waste of a human being
| 8 |
How do I distance myself from politics
|
I live in a shithole country, and seeing my country that I love so much go downhill is very sad for me. it's not like i am actively chasing news or anything, but It's that whenever i see news regarding my country (which is always negative btw) i just have a complete mental breakdown it has also affected my sleeping and eating habit recently as well what should I do?
| 1 |
Just some existential thoughts that won't leave me alone.
|
NSFW as I don't want to trigger anyone.
Brief mention of dramatic thoughts.
Existential thoughts.
Lately I've been struggling with existential thoughts, I currently have no money to my name, no job, no hobbies, I know these are my fault. I struggle with uni work while working, which is my fault as well, too easily distracted and worn-out.
I just feel like everything is a grind, I grinded through my diploma to grind through my bachelor to then I guess grind through work?
I want to be good at things, but of course that's a grind, got to get through the bad times to get to the good.
But I don't know, will I enjoy what I want to do as work? I don't see myself enjoying much at the moment.
My life just wastes away, but the other option is I grind myself through work to what? Enjoy a weekend sometimes?
I don't expect anyone to comment or anything, I just feel like shit. When I try hard I feel like I get punished by the universe for even thinking I could enjoy my life.
I won't do anything dramatic as that'll cost the people I love the same pain I'm currently feeling, and I could never do that to them.
| 3 |
How do you bring yourself to eat when you're hungry but mental issues make you loose the desire to eat?
|
Hopefully this is a good place for this question. I've been having a lot more struggles with depression and anxiety lately so think maybe this is related in a mental health way as well.
About 6.5 weeks ago I was hit in the head by something falling and suffered a pretty severe head injury, one part of it was a concussion obviously. I've had issues with depression and anxiety since I was a little kid and since the accident they've gotten worse and became more frequent. Another way its effectsd me is I've became a picky eater, where before I would of ate anything. I've always been big into weight lifting and would eat large amounts of healthy food. I've a very fast metabolism and a very active job so at times I've been eating as much as 4500 calories a day, a lot of the times now it's probably closer to 1000 calories I'm eating a day.
Since the accident tho I just keep losing the desire to eat. Sometimes I can eat fine, other times I get picky and just can't bring myself to find anything that sounds appealing and won't eat. Other times I'll be hungry and pick something to eat that sounds good and then in the middle of eating I just start getting where I just lose the desire to eat, I'll still be hungry but can't bring myself to force the food into me and stop eating. It's really getting to me now and just making the depression even worse to the point I start tearing up just thinking about it which isn't like me at all, I've always hit points over the years where I feel like I'm going to burst out in tears and it's so hard to hold it back but I do always hold it back. Last night it broke me tho when I was watching a movie with my dad and brother and I just kept getting tears running down my face, thankfully they were focused on the TV and didnt notice but its never gotten so uncontrollable before. I'm scared to step on a scale and see exactly how much weight I've lost but I know I've lost at least 10lbs already.
I'm not sure if struggling to eat is really a mental health issue or what but with the other intensified mental health issues I've had since the accident I thought maybe it could be so possibly this could be a good place to ask for help, I tried posting in r/medicaladvice first but got no replies so sorry if this is the wrong place to be posting this.
I've tried weed to stimulate my appetite a bit and even with getting stoned I can still just lose desire to eat in the middle of a meal and end up not finishing it. It's really starting to get to me, I'm just seeing all the hard work I've put in in the gym disappearing on me and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice or tips? It would be hugely appreciated, thank you.
| 2 |
Don’t feel like I have a personality…
|
Sorry in advance, if I have trouble articulating my issue or this doesn’t make sense
So ever since I was young, I was pretty much the quiet kid. I did my work, didn’t bother anyone, and stay on my best behavior to not annoy anyone
Now I’m 26 and I find it hard to “truly” be myself. Truth is, I’m not sure what exactly is myself. Im scared that if I come out my she’ll and try to be more extroverted I’ll be that annoying person and people will hate me.
This is a problem I’ve struggled with all my live. Im scared to really be “me” in fear of being rejected so I cope with just being the quiet kid as it’s “safer” if that makes sense. It’s led to me not being to make meaningful connections and friendships. And has been a big part of my depression
I guess my question is, how do I develop my personality from nothing and be authentically “me”. I have a idea of the person I want to be, but I’m scared people will hate me and I’ll never find my tribe
| 1 |
I need some advice or just some kind words. Thank you
|
First of all, thank you for reading this. (My English isn’t good so if there some sentences you can’t truly understand, please let me know)
My name is Hoa, or you can just call me Holly. I’m 15 years old. I’m Asian. I’ve always wanted to study abroad. My family is in the middle-class: we have money to buy good food, quality stuffs, to have a comfort life, but we can’t afford expensive things. I know my family state very well. I live with my grandparents from my dad’s side (this is common in some Asian countries), my parents and my younger brother.
My parents often have arguments in front of me and my brother, or in front of other relatives. It makes me feel embarrassed and scared. For example, we were having a party, and then they started to shout or glance each other. My mom always has arguments with her mother in law, and I have to say that my grandma is a very mean person. Well, but at least my mom need a polite attitude. They shout other like karen.
I’ve always wanted to study aboard, that’s my biggest dream. I know my family’s state, so I searched for school with scholarships. However, 50% scholarships in tuition is the highest one I could find (and i had chance to go to that school) but my family still can not afford the rest. Whenever I found schools with scholarships, it gave me hope. A few moments later, it gave me disappointment and sadness.
I told my parents how I feel about the current school ( I shocked when I read an article said that my country has one of the best schooling systems in the world. Like what?. Even though I’m a good student, I have many pressure from teachers and friends. Teachers want student to be perfect in every single subject, achieve the perfect score without caring about student’s ability or their strengths and weaknesses. I don’t fit in that mole.) My parents said that they gave me the best condition they could. I KNOW. Because I’m not trying to do my best so I failed, and I need to stop complaining. They, especially my mom, started to talk about her story, which i have heard a million times. She doesn’t divorce because of me and my brother. Why? Is that something to be proud of? It just makes my soul breaks everyday. I cried, and then she asked why I was crying, there was nothing to cry about. She even forced me not to cry.
I can only sleep for 4.5 hours a day in 9 months long. I did a couple online test about ADHD, anxiety and depression, I got high score. I told my parents I want to visit the doctor, but they said I just overreacted. They said if I want to go to the hospital, they would take me to the famous Psychiatric hospital in my area which for “extreme crazy people” ( I don’t know what words to explain it, I’m not judging these patients). I want to go to the Psychologists, that’s it. I had thought about suicidal 4 months ago. I’m proud that I didn’t do that. I’m proud that i clean my room, that I do some exercises. There are so many places I want to visit, food I want to try. These thoughts keep me alive.
Now I have 2 years left in high-school. I can’t see my future here. I’m wasting my time here. I’m looking for source to self study A-levels, which gives more chances to get scholarships in the future. I’ll try the UWC scholarship this year. After all, I’m glad that I’m alive, even though I have very light hope about my future. Thank you for reading!!!
| 1 |
What's the best self-care journal?
|
Starting this bullshit again.
| 1 |
Getting stronger, day by day (TW: very dark thoughts)
|
I recently went through a very intense suicidal period that was unrelenting for about 8 weeks. Every day, all I could think about was dying, every moment I was awake. My ex and I had kept in contact and I was trying to give him grace to grab his remaining items and potentially be amicable in the future. I didn't realize he had found new supply and his npd traits resurfaced. He rarely (never) showed empathy or compassion, though he did exhibit some sensitivity that lured me in for far too long. It's been over a month now that we're no longer in each other's lives and I must admit I feel immense relief. I'm sad about losing this person at times as he was very meaningful to me for 10+ years, however, he's deeply unwell and I almost took my own life due to his crazy-making, non-accountable, manipulative behavior. I'm getting stronger and stronger with each passing day but I still feel the sting of heartbreak. Any advice on how to recover from narcissistic abuse and betrayal trauma? I'm aware he doesn't have the capacity to see any wrongdoing, and I struggle with accepting this. Any tips for groups? For healing? I'm so traumatized about almost ending my life for a person who is such a bully and an overall dissapointment. If you have survived a suicide attempt and had to go on, I'd love to hear more about your experience. Life feels completely different now and I don't know how to tell that to the people I know as it seems incomprehensible to them.
| 1 |
Why does it physically hurt to have close relationships with people?
|
I’m not sure if this is the right place, but I really struggle telling the people close to me about my mental health situation so I thought I would try this subreddit. I’ve struggled with mental health since I was a child. I’ve was clinically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and then later by another psychiatrist with ADHD, but I still don’t feel like either is completely correct. I don’t really have any friends. I do have a girlfriend and she’s the most kind soul I’ve ever had the pleasure to come across. However, I don’t know why, but it’s so hard for me to really be emotionally connected with people. Like, I get a physical pain, almost like a heavy weight in my chest every time I do end up with a real bond with someone. It deeply stresses me out. Even with the people I do emotionally have a connection with, like my girlfriend, I feel a deep pain in my chest and my brain tries to find every little possible reason to breakup or get her out of my life. Like I spend a lot of mental energy deciding if the feelings I get are actually appropriate for what happens and it’s exhausting. It’s not her fault, and it’s not anyone’s fault really but mine, and I can distinguish that, but it makes me feel really bad, and nonetheless its draining to me. I’m pretty good about keeping all of this in. Like, if someone does something that hurt me intentionally or unintentionally, I’m very good at putting the emotions to the side and acting normal until I can be alone to figure out if the feelings i had in the moment were appropriate. And the times when I can’t, I just literally shut down and I have to just be alone for awhile. I’m terrified of being mean to anyone or being seen as a mean person without a valid reason. I feel like I’m constantly fighting myself everyday. I don’t know why, and it makes me even more sad and depressed because I do love the people in my life, I would do anything for them, so I don’t understand why it all hurts and stresses me out so much to have normal human relationships. Ive also noticed I get frustrated or angry when people try to help me when Im hurting or have any type of personal problem, I like to be alone and figure it out myself when I feel pain. I hate asking for help. I often feel like I’m not good enough, nothing I do ever feels like it’s enough for them. I just feel so heavy and gross all the time. I hate that I have to live this way, I hate that Im so sensitive, and I’m terrified its going to hurt the people around me because I get so emotionally heightened for little to no reason sometimes. Every so often its gets too loud in my head and I’ll have a panic attack or a breakdown. Im really not sure what it is. I’m tired, I’m getting to my wits end because what else can I do? I feel like I should want to be close to people and go out and have friends, but I run away from any sign of a friendship. I love people, I don’t have social anxiety really, but when people express interest in me I withdraw from them as best I can. Like even the couple friends I have, I have what I consider a safe distance from them and I just require a lot of space to feel comfortable. Does anyone else experience this? How should I go about telling the people close to me what is happening, or ask just for help? I’m just really lost and I dont know what to do because its just getting worse. Im sorry was so long, but thank you to anyone who read all the way through.
| 3 |
got something done before noon
|
i came across some simple advice once, which i think of often and try to follow whenever i can: get something done before noon. it really is a game changer. it feels awesome to have something accomplished early on and makes whatever happens in the rest of the day seem less important (in a good way). it could be as simple as making your bed as soon as you get up. right there, you got something done and you've set the tone for the rest of the day.
even though i really think it's great to be proactive and get shit done as soon as you're able, i still avoid things sometimes. as someone with a mental illness i am constantly advocating for myself and have been for years but i still hate it and always feel anxious. i guess i don't like the feeling of being powerless and coming up against an authority.
the past couple of months, i've been avoiding going to the bank and clearing up a situation on my credit card. there was a fraudulent charge to my account in may that i reported on a hotline. i got my card canceled immediately and was sent a new one, but the charge never stopped showing up in my online banking. it was a couple hundred dollars, too, so it's not like i'd be willing to just take the loss. i absolutely hate doing things over the phone, so today i finally got my shit together and went down to the bank in person.
i guess my biggest fear was that this charge was somehow (impossibly) legit. like that i'd bought something a while ago but wasn't charged right away because sometimes that happens. i'll buy something online and it doesn't show up on my account until up to a week later. i'm on a budget and having to pay this two hundred dollars was very much not part of my plans.
as usual in cases that cause me anxiety, there was not need to be worried. the bank took a look at my info, called the credit card company and cleared it all up in about twenty minutes. i am beyond relieved and had a great day since i got this done well before noon.
| 4 |
I feels alone
|
I have no one, my ex broke up with me in January and since then I have been alone, everyday I go to work and go straight home. I have had so many people tell me I need to get out and do something. I try but it's just so lonely todo that. People tell me to try dating apps, I am on 5 and I get no matches, and the ones I do get are scammers or catfish trying to trick me.
I feel so unwanted. I miss my ex everyday, I miss her, but I hate her. I hate how she ended things. She cut me off completely, our mutual friends cut me off and I don't even know what I did to deserve our friends cutting me off.
I don't know what todo anymore. I am so lonley
| 4 |
making a short about depression
|
How can I write a short film regarding depression and suicide without glorifying it. I would love to hear some of your experiences and inputs
| 1 |
20yr male, feel at my breaking point in life and have no clue where to begin my mental health repair
|
For context I’m 20 years old, still live with my parents along with my 2 other siblings (18)m (16)f. And I have lived in a small town most my life, I moved out to a larger town 3 years ago and it was upsetting. I’ve also never really been social but the one thing I’ve achieved in 3 years is social confidence and how to interact with people. But on top of my family having constant fights and me struggling to study for exams. I have been feeling spaced out and not even sad but just haven’t been feeling anything. After some self reflection and also a doctors appointment I found out I may have some depression. I take vitamin d and ashwaganhda, I’ve also been trying to eat more Healthy and take cold showers. Is there anything else I should know/do that would really be worth implementing? I have a girlfriend and I know that working towards a goal can help people not feel completely useless so Ive also been doing that, but it feels like there’s something missing
| 1 |
Friend with support animal
|
I have a friend named Paula who would rather be homeless than give up her support animal. I wish I could help her because her lease is up in ten days and she doesn't have a place to move to. It's a small town and there aren't many options for renting. There are zero options for renting with a pet. She has anxiety and depression. She thinks she might have ADHD also but hasn't been diagnosed. I wonder if there are tools and resources for her. She may need to move to another state, one that allows pets. What should I do@?
| 1 |
What is it
|
When I feel worthless and when I try to learn something I just feel what's the point like yes i learn it. What's next also cuz of that I get no motivation or energy to do that
| 1 |
tips on working through manipulation
|
I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years, lately it’s been so unbelievably verbally abusive and I don’t feel safe or secure in my own bed anymore. I do absolutely everything for him x10, but he flips from this monster who does anything he can to make me cry, to this angel who wants what’s best for us. It’s so obvious that it’s fake, it feels like he gets genuine pleasure out of hurting me. The more he does this the less I’m starting to care, and the more I’m growing away from him. I’m forced to beg him for the barest of bare minimum, and rarely ever get that. It feels as if I’m dating a child with no morals or experience. Everything hurts and the monster is taking everything from me. The “easy” answer is to leave, but we live together and there’s so many promises that need to be for filled. At this point I just don’t know. Im breaking inside. I miss the boy I used to love.
| 1 |
How to bring up therapy to a doctor?
|
Hiya!
So I have a doctor’s appointment in a few days (for a physical problem), and I wanted to take the chance to bring up wanting to start therapy to my doctor. (I was told you can go to your normal doc with this, and they’ll help you get a spot.)
My question is: How exactly am I supposed to bring this up? Will I have to outline the problems I’ve been experiencing in detail, and if so, would it be weird to make a list of all those things?? Because I know for sure my mind will totally blank once I get asked about this, since all of this is already making me very nervous.
| 1 |
How to numb emotional pain?
|
Screw shrinks, they’ve been nothing but money grabs so far
| 1 |
Choosing the Right Peer Group
|
The people we surround ourselves with significantly influence our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. Imagine being in a group where everyone is complacent and lacks motivation for personal growth. It becomes challenging to break free from that mindset. However, if you actively seek a peer group of individuals who are driven, goal-oriented, and supportive, you are more likely to be inspired and encouraged to pursue your own personal growth. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who share your values and aspirations creates an environment conducive to personal transformation.
| 1 |
Something keep nagging in my brain to redo things
|
Age : 19 Male
Since from a very long time as far as I can think, I have been having this issue, constant pain in my head to redo things, eg:- to just touch that door again, to turn back off and on that switch again because first time it didn't go that well and simple things like that. And mostly, these type of behaviour occur to me when I am alone. Whenever I am with people or doing some work, they are like non existent.
Some 2 years ago, I decided that they are just too much headache for me because whenever I do not do these things, it just creates havoc in my brain. So, I forcibly stop myself to do these type of behaviour. And then later on when I got my Smart phone a year ago, I decided to check this up and found out that it is probably OCD. Not that, I am sure of, and I don't want myself to just put the label that I have OCD on my own but it is the most closest to what I thought I was doing.
Well, that thing stopped over time to the extent that I not at all do this now except just rarely occasion.(frequency being 2 or 3 a month). But I just realised a few months ago that I have a new behaviour going on in my head. I frequently just have to forcibly imagine writing a number, or a word in my head that I just saw or read. Of course not every word or number, but it is just too much frequent on so much days. And it also sometimes happen when i am with people or doing work unlike my previous habit. And the time when i have nothing to do or I am in relaxed state or when i am stressed or when going to sleep(as I think and that leads to words and that to this behaviour), it increases drastically. Like, I just have to imagine writing that number or letter in my head and that too with that particular style that my brain wants to do. And even after I do it, pains still shots up in my mind while doing it.
As my exams are over and I have nothing to do literally, this behaviour of mine just caught my attention much more as it just boosted high in past few days and I decided to do something about it as I am free. I tried to search about it but found nothing. I decided that i would just forcibly stop doing it like my previous habit, but I wanted to know more about it and found out seriousness of the issue and some advice.
Also, I am from a country where mental issues are not taken up that much seriously. I tried to talk it out to some, but they just kinda shrugs it off. Also, if it's of any help, I am not particularly unhealthy, I have a normal physique. My past few months also have been pretty stressful because of college admissions and other stuff.
English is not my first language and i am new to reddit. So, I apologize for any mistake. And If you think it belongs to some other subreddit, please tell me. And thank you for your time for reading.
| 1 |
I met an Angel
|
I recently started skateboarding, to help me mentally and physically. Someone called it a mid life crisis and I call it a comedy of errors. While blowing off some steam skateboarding up my local back streets, I was approached by a younger man and for what ever reason he asked me for a hug 🫂. I was completely drenched in sweat, a little out of breath and completely taken a back if you will. I mean who even asks a stanger for a hug. I immediately thought he must be a little off in the head and what damage could a hug do. So I said sure you can have a hug and I tried to one arm hug him, as per I was sweating and this is a stranger But he closed his eyes like a big kid and gave me the most gentle bear hug (not a small guy at all) Held it for two seconds and let go with the biggest smile. And I was like wft in my head trying to figure out what weird crap was going on and then he looks me directly in the eyes and says I Love You ..... almost instantly I had tears in my eyes as I replied I love to too
I was blown away I mean who the f am I and who have I become here I am judging this person
Crazy part is there were a few people watching me skateboard from their balcony and they asked if I knew him and because I didn't know him I am the greatest guy in the neighborhood
I Actively Plan on Spead Love on purpose
Thank you for letting me share
| 14 |
I feel different
|
So I’m 17 and I just feel distant with everybody. I don’t really feel like I connect with anyone on a super personal level like my friends or family. I always feel lonely but I have people who want to hang out and with be with me but I don’t want to be with them even if I do like them and enjoy our time. I’m usually masking myself pretty hard and I always feel like I’m holding myself in. However it’s only recently I got myself like this. Before this in 10-11th grade I would only have 2-3 friends (not close at all we only talked in school) and not talk to anyone in my classes except for work. But I don’t know why when I improve myself by getting more friends , a girlfriend, a job, I don’t feel it. Most of my fulfillment comes from myself and what I do for me like buying food and weed and other short term stuff. Im not particularly sad about it but I just always feel it. I’ve acted the same since I was a child but just recently in high school I became more aware of and feel it more intensely. I guess I’m looking for answers or something I’m not really sure. I’ve just always felt I think differently from people and wanted to say it somewhere that could serve a purpose.
| 1 |
My aunt passed away and I don’t know how to feel
|
She just turned 51, and unfortunately she drank herself to death. Liver AND kidney failure. We were really close when I was little but then she moved out of state and I only saw her on a few occasions since then.
I’m just really conflicted because while I know she loved me and my dad and my grandma she was really not a nice person a lot of the time, always struggled with money and alcohol and relationships, and hurt a lot of people. I guess I’m probably still numb and it kind of doesn’t feel real yet but yeah… any advice or words of wisdom anyone has is greatly appreciated. This is the first time someone has died that I actually knew well and had a relationship with.
| 1 |
Why can’t I get myself to do anything school related?
|
It’s summer break as of now, and I have summer assignments to do, but I am at a complete loss of motivation. I have no clue what Im going to do when school starts, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be work with this mindset. School just isn’t for me. Am I just being extremely lazy? I’m afraid I wont get anywhere in life.
| 1 |
Am I suppressing feelings or processing them?
|
This is unusual I feel, I havent always been the best at processing my emotions, and I always thought I was pretty good at it, but Ive had a really crappy year and have realized a lot of things about myself. I in a way feel like my "recovery" is just me suppressing emotions, I have been letting myself feel the emotions and pain without pushing them away, which is good but after I make progress and feel better, this crosses my mind (am I suppressing my feelings or processing them?) I cant tell if this is recovery, or if im just ignoring my problems, so I go back to thinking about them and I feel the depression and anxiety spiral come back, then I start feeling better and the cycle repeats, its vicious.
Im not going to get into the problems im facing I've talked about them so much im just tired at this point, I want to believe im actually processing my emotions then I just go enjoy my time and the thought will pop in and I'll stop for a bit and just \*sparkle\* think \*sparkle\* Idk.
​
Any advice or just some wise words would be appreciated, thanks :)
| 1 |
How to get over disrespect?
|
Sometimes people tend to disrespect you. And at that moment, there are several reasons as to why didn’t you speak up. But when you tell other people about it, they make you regret not speaking up for yourself and taking the disrespect. No one tells you that sometimes people disrespect you and go, you need not have a reaction all the time. In all these YouTube videos, you see people seeking unrealistic expectations of how to be there for yourself. In reality, things are different, you cannot get respect everyone, it’s unreal. Sometimes you need to just let it be right?
To not create a big scene or cause something that will go on for a longer period of time unnecessarily.
| 1 |
Buspar Side Effect
|
My psychiatrist prescribed Buspar (15mg twice daily) for me. About 15 minutes after taking it I feel very jittery and shaky for about 30 minutes. Once the feeling is gone I am fine, but I hate the feeling. I’d like to take it before I go to work, but I don’t want to drive when I feel weird. Has anyone experienced this side effect and did it go away eventually?
| 3 |
I need help understanding what’s happening
|
I’m in the process of seeing my psychologist that I haven’t seen in 5 months and my therapist who I haven’t seen in 2 months. I haven’t seen the two in a while because they always postpone the appointments. But I will be seeing them soon.
Anyway. I’m 16 and I don’t know what’s happening with me. I have had mental health issues before starting at 13 but what I have now is just hell for me.
In terms of symptoms or whatever I’ve been dealing with memory issues, apathy, slow process speed in conversation and sometimes just not saying anything not from social anxiety but from being thoughtless, random sudden episodes of depression, no motivation, identity disturbance and brain fog.
I’ll be talking to my gf or something normally then 5 mins later I can’t remember anything or think of anything to say. I’m just blank and I get depressed and go into a spiral.
I’m not on any medication for I do not take the ones prescribed because it does more harm than good.
Idk what to do as of now and just want to die
| 1 |
Does anyone else struggle with memory loss ?
|
Does anyone else struggle with memory loss?
So I 26f have been diagnosed with both depression and anxiety , in my last session with my psychologist we talked about my difficulties recalling specific details and even certain events altogether.
One instance is that school , primary and high school was more or less a blur or even memories with my family. Granted I am the younger sibling so my older brother is bound to remember things from when we were little kids more than me , but some things he brings up are only a couple years back and everyone seems to have a perfect recall of all of us being there and I have absolutely no memory?
Just wondering is it common for people going through mental health struggles to have memory loss ?
| 8 |
I’m 16 lonely and felt numb for years
|
I’ve been lonely for most of my life, I haven’t had much experience with girls beside some elementary school relationships if those count. I’ve had some girls lead me on then laugh at what happened and I grew to be defensive often being mean to girls and not feeling anything towards anyone until this past day at work some girl I work with sat with me during my break and talked to me and asked about me and I fell in love and want to talk to her and do stuff with her. All she did was talk to me. She showed little interest in who I am and what I do and I actually feel something now. I actually have someone to look forward to. I still have the feeling of her not being Interested in me at all and that I’m just gonna be alone again and I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I feel lost.
| 1 |
I feel like I'm just floating through life and not experiencing anything. It seems pointless to continue this way.
|
I'll be 22 this year. I have one friend. Technically 3 but two live in another country and we don't talk as often as I feel friends would. I have never had a relationship over 2 months long. I have no prospects for a relationship. I have a degree that I don't want. I don't do anything. I lay around and numb my mind with stupid videos. Each day passes and with each day I feel like more and more of my time is running out. I wasted my youth. I've never really had friends. I never had a group to go out with and have fun. I use escapism to get through my days. I don't have any hobbies. I don't really like to do anything except sleep. My life is a waste and I'm tired of floating through days just to get to the night where I can pretend nothing around me exists. I have horrible social anxiety, doing anything social has me stressed but I push through, but I'm still unable to make any meaningful connections. I live in the middle of nowhere so it's not like I can just go out on the town to have fun on my own. I always thought I was content with being alone my whole life but now I'm realizing I just settled for it because I can't find my way out of that situation. I'll probably just end it all soon. I just need one thing to really push me over the edge and I'm gone. I could crash my car at any point, just haul 200kmph and go off the side of the highway. I just fear I'd ruin my car and not die, but I think at that speed I'd be obliterated pretty quick.
I'm just tired of this. My life is worthless and meaningless. I don't wanna hear the whole "no one is worthless" nonsense because that's exactly what it is. Nonesense. Sure, I may mean something to my parents. Maybe my sister and my one friend. But *I* have given no worth to my life. *I* have no meaning. *They* don't determine my worth or meaning, and if I can't find it for myself, then it's nonexistent. I'm empty inside. Not even my pets are enough to keep me going anymore like they once were. I know they'd be taken care of when I'm gone. My parents have a new grandbaby to live for, they would be sad but they would ultimately keep going. My sisters would keep going because they have dreams and aspirations and relationships and things to truly *live* for. I have nothing to live for. I'm tired. I'm done.
| 1 |
Pretty sure I’m faking mental illness
|
Not really sure, I keep having these really intrusive thoughts but I take maybe 20 minutes to chill and look back and laugh at the stupid ideas I had, makes me wonder if I even DO have intrusive thoughts or if its just me intruding upon my own thoughts to make myself feel like I’m somehow not the the cause for how others treat me, now its sorta confusing cuz I am almost certain I dont have intrusive thoughts and then I have intrusive thoughts, hell, does having intrusive thoughts a bunch count as being mentally ill? Or just being thoughtful? Or is it some grey area?
| 1 |
Anxiety attack but with depression instead???
|
Ive never heard of anyone else experiencing this. I have no idea what this is.
But once in a while I'll have this suddent extreme depressive? episode that comes out of nowhere.
It last anywhere from a couple of minutes to hours.
I can only describe it as extreme mental pain that makes me so miserable that all I can think about is death in a "please but me out of my misery" type of way, but most of the time I can't think clearly, I'll feel all kind of emotions at once, it often just freaks me out and there's nothing I can do.
Talking to people doesn't help, they don't understand what I'm going through and that makes it only worse.
it's all in my head, the pain isn't physical, which makes it really hard to explain, it's like how sadness can hurt really badly, it feels like I suddenly found out my child died or something idk.
wtf is this? How do I stop this?
| 6 |
I am going mad.
|
So here's the deal. I graduated from a good university. I used to be working in a retail bank in the IT department as an analyst. I shifted teams to a programming role. Simultanrously my dad got a stroke. Almost a year back. I couldn't handle the stress and pressure took stupid decisions and abruptly quit my job. Now I have been jobless from a long time. And just staying at home. Struggling to get back jobs. I hate the jobs I get. I am almost going mad. I get angry atmh parents. I sleep all day. I see my friends social media status and get irritated. I am constantly in stress, cant sleep. I walk around and ruminate about why I quit my job. I am being a shitty useless human overall. I bite clothes and bed sheets. I have lost a lot of weight. I keep ruminating to parents about how stupid I am and how useless I am. I am too depressed. I don't know how this will change.
| 1 |
A small fragment from my diary I felt I wanted to share.
|
As the days seem to come by, in what it was promised would be the prime of my life, I ponder, I ponder as I hear the screams coming from the (the usual day in a life) fight from my mother's room.My sister on the verge of breaking and my mother fighting while on the edge of her own suffering. I ponder about life, about the meaning of it, and I can't stop trying to stop myself from getting this… this weird unfeeling. As if I all things and all life has lost meaning for a second, as if for some reason, I have become nothing but a spectator upon what I am now, what my life has been for the past years.And as I ponder, I realized that that unfeeling is nothing but an old acquaintance, from which I can't seem to be able to get rid of.From an emotional draining suicidal sister and an alcoholic emotional abusing mother, to an emotional neglecting father who sometimes seems to value time and money far more than his own family (or at least the very least sees us as weak whiny people that annoy him).I ponder about life's meaning and I wonder how a lifetime of trauma since a young age has shaped me to the man I am now, a man with no friends, no interest in a romantic partner, no life outside his room and tries (with less success each time) to find comfort down the bottom of a bottle, a man that is not only ok with the forementioned traits, but actually craves them now.I ponder if my dream of helping others has not yet been a victim of the taints produced by nothing else but a long history of generational trauma, if helping others would still even fulfil me anymore or if it would just be another thing, or if I would ever be able to succeed at it.It is now more than ever that I feel this unfeeling feeling, alongside a great sense of tiredness, from which I am sure I'll be able to get rid of, but not sure about what or who I will have to abandon in order to fully leave them behind.It is now, me, who have ever so rarely doubt, ponder about my future, my present and if it really is worth it, but I rest assure because I know I want to live enough to find out.
| 1 |
Spiraling into despair over being completely undatable and broken. Completely obsessed and fixated
|
Exactly what the title says. I used to be a much more optimistic and happy person. Even though I had spent my entire life never receiving an ounce of attention from the opposite sex, I believed that I would one day find the right woman for me, and that everything would fall into place.
A few years ago, I became completely obsessed with reading and venting about this on the internet. I have always been insecure about being short and babyfaced (I’m 27 and look + sound like a teenager, I’m 5’6”-7”ish), but now it is amplified by some orders of magnitude, and whenever I go out into public I constantly notice how women are mostly around the same height as me. I constantly think because of my young appearance and height, no one will ever take me seriously, much less women.
I sometimes spend hours browsing the internet and being upset over this until I am so stressed that my chest hurts. I am completely drained and defeated. I feel like nothing will ever convince me that I could possibly be attractive to any woman on earth, and that I will be sad and lonely for the rest of my life. It’s been this way for years. I hate this existence.
| 2 |
Help me please
|
kind of scared, I took 110 mg of Prozac or more lost count around 110 mg but I’m pretty sure I didnt go over 140. Will I be ok I don’t want to die it was just at the moment and I wasn’t thinking straight, my normal dosage is 20 mg
| 1 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.