title
stringlengths 1
300
| content
stringlengths 1
39k
⌀ | score
int64 0
6.38k
|
|---|---|---|
addictions at 14
|
i’ve struggled with some ptsd at tweleve and thirteen with past truama with my biological dad and getting flashbacks form what he did to me while i was young ( ps i’m 14 now and haven’t heard from my bio dad since i was 8 ) i starts self harm at twleve ( cutting and punching/hitting myself ) because i believed it was my fault and i deserved what happened to me i eventually got help and it started getting better but i still carried this saddness with me just always feeling down no motivation all the time only eating the same few things coming home and sleeping after school and crying when i was alone my mum is very grumpy in the morning and once told me she’d set the car on fire and kill herself because of me when i get out in the way to skl and one time she asked where i was and i said i was in the garage and that i had just came home from a wlak and i sent a photo of me 4 steps away from being in the garage and she told me exactly how she plannned about killing herself because i lied to her that i was in the garage even though i wasnt i was infront not inside obviously those things effected me and i was cutting because i felt bad that i had made my mother feel that way and i told her i was gonna tell my step dad that she said that and she guilt tripped me saying how could i do that to my own mother here’s something i write the day it happened if you don’t wanna read just skip to where there’s another indent
- my mum just told me that she’s going to kill herself and she gave me a really detailed description of how she plans to do that “i’ll grab a fuckinh rope and tie it to the celling and put my neck in it… ect,” and i say why ar e you saying that to me do u think u should be saying that “u never let me feel anything, any emotion, i’ve been through so much and it’s not like you have never wanted to hurt yourself u literally self harmed” i’m so tired she’s done this before she told me once to get out of the car as we drive to school and she said she’s going to kill herself in the car when i get out and she told me to shut the fuck up when i was crying because she said that, i’m going to slit my wrists until i drop dead from blood loss, i hope then i stop her misery because she told me she’s going to khs because of me. if you’re wondering how she began to say that is because she plays this yes or no game in the car ( just yes or no questions and u j say yes or no, simple) and shed ask me a question and if reply w yes or no and an explanation she told me to stop explaining myself but i did it anyways (not to piss her off) and tahts how it started i feel so restricted to speak. she said she’s not going to talk to me anymore and i’m NEVER EVER talking to her fucking again.
i was thirteen when j wrote that but i’m 14 now i’m still cutting myself at home and i did in the school bathrooms but now i just bring a lighter to school instead of a blade so i can burn myself but i’ve also started getting addicted to alcohol and drink when my anxiety gets bad to help ease it down and help me go to sleep i do it at night only so my parents don’t realise i’m drunk. “where do u get the alcohol?” i get it from my step dad because he drinks but he doesn’t know i do it i also sometimes smoke ciggs i only do that at home though but i vape at school instead so the smell isn’t as strong idk what to do i realise i’m setting my future self up for failure if i continue but it’s true only thing helping i was crying one morning bc my mum said she was ginna stop me from trianjng because i hadn’t been in two weeks and she came right up to my face and said “aww are you depressed” and stuff like that makes me feel rly invalid especially when she screams at me to tell her why i’m sad all the time anywyas idk any advice on what to for and sorry for the spelling errors i cbf to type well
| 3 |
Looking for ways to help my husband with his anxiety attacks
|
My husband has had anxiety attacks lately, especially regarding getting to sleep. He just had a sleep study done, thinking he has sleep apnea, but they told him that he has insomnia. He has been getting poor sleep for years now and it is causing a lot of stress in his life. If he can't get to sleep, his heart rate starts to race, his breathing quickens, and he can't stop worrying. I don't know how to help him. Any advice would be appreciated.
| 2 |
I'm rationalyzing why I shouldn't help myself and I don't know how to get out of that thought process.
|
I have depression, anxiety and possibly ADHD and I'm completely self aware of every one of my issues and what I need to do to fix it... but I just can't or won't. I am aware that one of the reasons I probably feel like I can't act on it is due to my depression or my laziness due to ADHD. I'm getting so incredibly frustrated with myself due to my inability to help me help myself if that makes sense. I even make little lists in my head and in my journal about what I need to do to try and make myself feel better about myself but I just don't.
It's kinda hard for me to explain my thought process but I'll try to explain it to the most of my ability. ok so for example, therapy. I know therapy will help me but for some reason I rationalize why it's not worth it to go to therapy such as:
1. my insurance won't cover it (valid)
2. I probably won't connect with my therapist.
3. I know my therapist would only be doing their job and probably will only think of me as a person who needs to be fixed.
4. I know most of their "tricks" and I feel like since I am aware of their tricks, doing them won't actually help me at all or while I'm doing them and aware that they are just "tricks" my brain kind of shuts it off and doesn't take it seriously.
Okay so that last one is super confusing but that's the best I can explain that. Anyways, I have this same kind of thought process for everything. where I know exactly what I have to do but I just don't act on it because my mind goes into a spiraling vortex of all the reasons why doing them won't work and I just never end up doing the things I want and need to do. I just stay in my bed and look at my phone and computer for way too long.
My complete paralysis of helping myself or being productive has gotten really bad this past month, and I have no idea how to get out of this thought process and I can't think of how I got out of it last time. does anyone else have a similar thought process?? what were some things that helped you?? Anything would be greatly appreciated because I'm getting so fucking mad and frustrated at myself.
| 3 |
I gave the worst thesis proposal presentation
|
I've just attended a doctoral day where I was supposed to talk about my thesis topic and I just embarrassed my self. The jury members were laughing at me and they started attacking one specific idea within my study that is ( I'm not focusing my study on my country, therefore the study is nonsense) and I was astonished and didn't have anything to say I tried to prove my point but they were so harsh
It's been hours and I can't stop thinking about it and I want yo quit or die
I'm too embarrassed and ashamed I don't know how am i supposed to face them again
| 1 |
Why Did I Write on Myself?
|
I've had a look around and this seems to be the best place to ask this. Feel free to say any advice, whether it be armchair psychology, psychoanalysis, theorising... I know that I should seek a professional opinion, but I don't exactly know where to go. I can't be in therapy right now, so here seems to be the best bet.
On to the question. So, my whole life, I have had a history of abuse and trauma. The abuse was perpetrated by my parents, each doing different types abuse. I feel that the most relevant things that have happened would be neglect (physical and mental), as well as emotional abuse. When my mental health was at it's worst, I had no coping mechanisms (and I mean literally none). I was also a young teenager at this time (13 mostly and 14 partially). **What I started doing was writing on myself with a whiteboard pen. I would write on my arms, stomach, chest, neck... The things I would write was your stereotypical #depression words, such as 'worthless', 'disgusting', 'unloved', 'no one cares about you'...** I'm here, trying to psychoanalyse, why I did these things?
Factors:
* Parental Abuse
* Neglect (physical and mental)
* Emotional abuse
* Threats of physical harm
* Split family function - The parent who I wasn't living with was the one I preferred
* No coping mechanisms
* Young Teen Age (13/14)
Literally anything is appreciated. Thank you (if extra information is needed I am happy to provide).
| 2 |
I don't want to be here anymore
|
I don't see any light for my future. Even my bf didn't want to put up with me or stick with me.The only reason why I am still here are my parents. If I didn't have them then I would have ended my life a few weeks ago. Everything seems so dark, I feel useless, I feel like an unlovable burden. It feels like the walls are closing in on me and that the world won't be impacted at all if I wasn't here anymore. I feel so replaceable. I feel like I don't deserve to be alive. If anyone has any advise.. that'll be great. Medication doesn't work for me, and I'm in therapy but the bad thoughts just take over. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared of my own brain. Please help.
edit: I just want to thank everyone who has left such kind and uplifting advise for me. This is the darkest my life has ever been. So knowing I'm not alone, and seeing your words of support just helps more than you know. <3
| 11 |
I'm tired of young people dying.
|
Someone I went to high school with died and he was younger than me at age 22, while I'm 26. I regret not having a conversation with him that I should've had. I know we had only had one issue, but after high school we didn't have any, yet we didn't apologize to each other. We were cool after high school and learned we have similar interests, but I still feel guilty. The list of dead people close to me got longer.
| 3 |
I don't feel good. and i don't know whom can I talk to. everyone around me just makes me feel like shit and worthless. it's getting too frustrating now. I don't want to feel so helpless.
| null | 2 |
How to help someone who doesn’t believe he needs help?
|
My uncle has always been strange to me, and my mom said he was normal before he went to Afghanistan and jail, but recently he’s gotten a lot worse.
-He gives away money he doesn’t have.
-He believes he is always right, and it’s just the world that’s wrong if something doesn’t go as planned.
-If you try to explain why he is wrong, he will just ignore you and try to change the subject, or tell you why he is still right.
-He flew across the world to “end the war in Ukraine” because he thinks “I am the only one who knows how to stop it.” And was stopped on the boarder and sent home.
-He took out a loan of $30,000 to give to a woman he met on TikTok and knew for 4 months. This woman was also his fiancé and he’s only ever texted or talked on the phone with her. He also gave this woman his SSN and she was able to get into his adult daughter’s account because his name was connected to that one too.
-And so much more…
But I know his antics are really effecting my family, and we aren’t sure how to get him the help he needs. (We aren’t the type of family to go no contact, so please don’t suggest that.) When we suggested he see a therapist, he said “The only reason I’m not telling you to go to hell is because you’re family.” And “I’ve tried self help books before and they just don’t work on me.”
So any suggestions to help my uncle get help would be appreciated, thank you!
| 1 |
Might have to die if I fail
|
I’m not gonna to sugarcoat shit, I knew it was cheating in its own sense but fuck, I just don’t have the mental power to do it. I can barely get out of bed and do the other work I’m meant to do. I don’t have the right meds I need to focus, let alone suppress my anxiety and depression. Sure, I added in my own research here and there, sprinkled in some referencing. Changed up some wording. But a lot of it cam from ChatGPT. It filled in what I mentally can’t do now. But..even with what I have done so far, and my own added referencing, research, and wording…maybe I’ll be okay? I don’t know. It’s for an art course so fuck I don’t know. I could argue that’s how I’ve improved but fuck I don’t know if they’ll try and ask me truck questions or what. I feel like my life is spiralling and this small thing is gonna break the camels back if I’m caught. I might have to fucking end it.
| 1 |
I just want to know if someone has any advice.
|
I had a hard life since I was a kid.at 12 my family split and I had to stay with my grandma.so at 12 I started smoking and drinking.after few years I moved to a bigger town and started smoking weed and all of that....obviously I had a lot of issues with police and at some point I dropped school and I was selling weed.because I had anxiety and depression I couldn't live like a regular kid so I never been in such activity......so I never been a social person,never had a girlfriend and I just visualised being a street guy....after few years I was that angry as a person after all this fucked up shit that I pushed everyone out of my life even when they were trying to help me so I remained alone and with a black heart.at some point I wanted revenge on anyone who step on my toes and after all of that I finally been able o get over this shit and I'm trying to do better for myself,but I feel that everyone will treat me like a bitch if I will change my life andy ego cannot let me do that.what advice can I get from anyone I know it sounds weird......but it is
| 1 |
How to deal with acute ptsd when in the place with the people it happened with?
|
Summary of incident:
A while back my dad and I (21F) got into an argument and he ended up backing me into a corner, screaming in my face, and clinging to my arm even when I was yelling for him to let go and get off of me. He took away my phone. My parents wouldn’t let me drive myself to work for the next few days, use their WiFi, or call anyone from home.
I feel a little embarrassed to say that I picked up acute ptsd from this. I recently came home for spring break and I’m terrified that my parents will find out a few things about me they would hate (I’m an atheist/ I’m not sexually “pure”/ my bf and I talk about them a lot and how controlling they are). I live in the upstairs area when I’m home and tonight my boyfriend and I were talking about something my mom said about him that I’m not supposed to know about. Let’s just say I found this info in a *not so admirable way* that I’m a little ashamed of but I felt like I had to do for my own protection. I suddenly became extremely afraid even though I knew my parents were downstairs in their bedroom sleeping.
When my boyfriend and I got off the call, I started to imagine all sorts of scenarios where my mom heard us and told my dad and he came upstairs with a knife or to beat me up or take away my access to the outside world (to be fair, that would probably never happen except maybe the last one). I locked the upstairs door but I still have this undercurrent of fear.
Does anyone with experience with ptsd have suggestions for how to handle this? It’s completely new for me.
| 7 |
Overwhelming stress
|
So i have been really sick from Thursday to Monday (today) and i couldnt do anything, not even stand for one minute. The school however does not care and maybe tomorrow i will go back to school and have this huge mountain of long and hard homework to do. I feel so bad for not being able to do anything on the weekend. I worked things out with one or two teachers, but in addition to that i had this huge homework from a teacher that openly hates me, like she told me i am a problem and that shit. So she wont show any acceptance towards me for not having the homework... I just dont know how to cope with this extreme stress atm, especially with that teacher that also will be visiting me in my daycare and rate my work there, i feel like i really got scared of this woman
| 1 |
my hate against god/Christianity is making it hard for me to improve in life
|
I used to love god very much but I eventually lost all faith (the story to how isn't that important for this post). Basically, now I can't take any advice that comes from a religious person. I was once watching video and taking advice from a guy who really helped me improve my life for a bit, but then i found out he was formerly a pastor. I felt like garbage because religion has traumatized me so much I feel like I'm powerless against it---that it will manipulate me again and make me feel as lonely as I was when I used to believe in god.
sorry if this is offensive to any believers/religious people here. My bitterness against christianity and all religions is just sabotaging my life. I don't even try anymore because of it.
| 10 |
Advice abt bpd fav person urgent pls
|
advice pls abt fav person urgent
I have bpd bipolar cptsd anxiety anorexia blah blah blah etc etc sorry bit crossfaded. Anyway need some advice please.
Ahave one friend I didn’t realise
They were favourite personne because had been on drugs everyday every night for ages since last fp and I am moreover now getting more sober now (only fucked upnow bc emotion too much) and i need to tell my friend they r my favourite person and I love them but I tried to in person it was too scary because I don’t want them to leave me forever and I don’t wanna lose them as a friend and I don’t think it’s a reciprocated love I just need to tell them so I can move on but I’m scared to tell them because I love them I don’t wan to hurt them at all. Plan is to call them n? Is this okay or not im like97^ % sure they r also bpd but they r dating my other friend I don’t wanna cause any issues but I keep crying over them I just want them to live their happies life and I want to also so i need to b honest so I can be free of this but I’m so scared and idk if I’m like making a stupid choice but I YTIED TO B REAL I. PERSON. And they just confuse me a bit and they told me they loved me and I cried while I hugged them yesterday and I feel so bad abt it bc like I said I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPIEST EVER LIFR EITH THEIR GF THEY LOVE bu I have. Delusions and shit and I need to hear verbally from them a literal I don’t like u at all or I I only like u as a friend other wise I will keep melting down over them but I feel bad putting. Myself first cause I love them and it’s best for me to shut up but i known them for years they have always meant so much to me but always so scared to say ajuthing . I don’r want to come across a as bad or manipulative but I can’t keep pretending I don’t love them it hurts so kuch but knowing telling them I kobe I love them more as a friend and possibly causing the abt negative emotions feels so horrible please advice before I say say something to them. I can’t talk to tell them face to face to face it’s too scary . I need to tell them on phone as calll that’s only way but I feel feel like I’m being a bad person. .anyone please have tips i tips on how I can ican be honest with them without possibly hurting them or their their relationship. I hope. Can read read this sorry spelling mistakes am not sober : I can’t b honest sober because I’m too scared. GBut r if hey just honest wityb me with can just split and move on and forget about them .
Sorry love. All u strangers pl any advice is so helpful
| 2 |
Zoloft 2 months experience
|
Hello guys, I am going to post my detailed experience below.
I am 24 M, been suffering with anxiety, depression from 17
From 22 onwards, I lost the ability to feel the pleasure from Orgasm. I look healthy, 6ft tall, 175 LB, daily walk around 50 min.
But I was frustrated and took a normal health check up including the testosterone test. But everything were normal.
My Libido were a bit less but my ability to orgasm were zero. I lost my hope and eventually started living with it. But my anxiety started to worsen.
I went to a Psychiatrist who prescribed 12.5MG zoloft and 0.25mg Clonazepam for 1 month.
I started to feel slightly better after 2 weeks and my libido were good but again my orgasms were weak.
After 1month, 25mg zoloft only
I started to feel very good and after 4 days on 25mg, my orgasms were fucking strong and good. I felt it like the heaven.
Now it's completely cured. As I have fapped more than 12 times within this 1 month with a very intense orgasm and very good libido.
Sleep has improved as I also take 3 mg of melatonin sometimes. I don't get panic attacks.
Watching the same movie or music again doesn't get me bored quickly.
I feel like my life has restarted again
You guys can ask me any doubts regarding this
| 1 |
need urgent advice
|
So I've been having delusional thoughts and feelings, kind of losing my mind. Everything feels fake. It feels like the negative thoughts are not me and im fighting someone else but i just cannot ever win. Im really ashamed of myself for this. Ive gained this delusion someone is going to kill me. I dont like, hallucinationate things and see them visually, but i am seeing someone in my head run up behind with a weapon thinking they are going to kill me. I hear things but im unsure if im actually hearing them or if im just so paranoid i am convincing myself that i am. I get random thoughts in my head that are just jumbled up words that dont even make sense. Sometimes when im really freaked out i think i do that when trying to explain that im really freaked out to the people around me, but i am not sure because everything is always so foggy i cant remember anything most of time. Like i can always remember important things like my birthday and name, ect. Its just my day to day life makes no sense, and often times im not sure im even aware that i am alive. I had something happen in a dream the other day, i cannot remember what it was, but i immediately had a family member drive me to a hospital to be evaluated. They did not keep me inpatient, they did not see me as a risk to myself or anyone else. Im sorry for so much detail, but has anyone else experienced this? Im scared to post this, but i just want answers. Is there any coping mechanisms that can be used to make this not so hard? To maybe come back to reality, even if its just temporary. Im so sick of feeling this i just want to be myself again. I feel so alone, and like i have nobody i can speak with
| 1 |
What do you suggest?
|
How do you guys deal with that transitional period of finding a therapist? Currently I’m in that process and it’s so grueling. I’m basically self isolating to avoid exploding on people till I finally get a session.
| 2 |
help me figure out
|
Can anyone explain what I am going through like I hate human contact with the people around me though some of them have been anything but nice to me and are really good people but I loathe them I just wanna disappear and not have anyone talk to me but at the same time I crave for human warmth even if its just one single person who will accept everything about me and be with me through thick and thin and when someone with a potential like that appears i just can't trust them and pull away from them it's like I hate my own happiness sometimes I can't trust them at others i think I will ruin them too i have no goals for life I'm 25 and have no plans no goals nothing I'm particularly good at I'm nothing but an average guy with no motivation to do anything no energy and no likeable features and yet crave for love i don't know what I can do I don't wanna exist as not existing will erase all this problems but at the same time I know I can't do this to the people who are around me I'm too tired to keep living and a coward who can't end it all even though I dont wanna be around there are people who will be inconvineced if I'm gone i mean my existence gives them pain and yet if i try and go out it causes them more pain it's like I shouldn't have been there in the first place
Also whenever I try to talk about it I freeze up and like there is no one to talk to i think if i try they will just make a joke out of it and laugh it off i mean yeah it's also the right thing to do right? Like there are much bigger problems and everyone is going through so much stuff way more complex and real then my problem and here I sit and fret over this while there are many things I need to do for those that have contributed to me for making it this far but I feel like a horrible person cause I don't wanna i just want to disappear and die and start a new life or if it's nothing after this even better
| 1 |
I genuinely don’t know anymore
|
I was recently released from a psych ward after my suicidal thoughts led me to try and attempt suicide. I had a therapy appointment a day before I was gonna do it and I couldn’t lie so I told her there was no way I was gonna be safe on my own. She decided to send me to the hospital psych ward and it feels like I’ve unbottled all these emotions for the first time ever. It sucks. I told my therapist I was happier being depressed, I’m short with my family, they have me on lithium now and I just don’t feel like myself anymore. Yeah, I was severely depressed, maybe to the point of wanting to die, but I had a stable job and I was gonna get my full license and fix my car then go see my gf. I sure as shit wasn’t happy but I was at least a little stable but I can’t even say that now. I haven’t gone back to work, I’m cutting people out of my life to where at this point all I have left is my gf and family and that’s not being negative. I’ve started having even worse thoughts but instead of bottling it I have a breakdown since I can’t bottle anymore. Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted talk or whatever, remember that you’re all loved and help is only one phone call away.
| 1 |
Overwhelmed by insecurities
|
What can I do when I’m feeling overwhelmed by my insecurities. When I’m feeling so alone. When I feel like no one wants me. When I let the bad thoughts flood my mind.
| 2 |
Need help
|
Please help me need to talk to someone
Hi ! I am 27 years old , I have a beautiful 1 year old girl is my world , now I am scared of myself because I have intrusive thoughts . I always extremely worry about everything with her , her falling hitting her head( I got her a helmet ) etc , when she cries and cries I just hold her because I can’t it breaks mr heart , I worry for her I provide everything I love herrrr , her doc suggested melatonin a bit because I don’t sleep straight since she still wakes up and I’m scared that if I give her melatonin she will never wak up , so I don’t .. now for two days now I been having this thought of what if I hurt her ? Do something ng to her at night.? I wake up and do something crazy ? What is this ?? Like I don’t want to harm her at all but m so scared I love her I’m trigger now but everything and I’m so scared please help anyone experience this before ?
| 1 |
I’m wanting to live for the first time since 11 years old… now I’m terrified of death.
|
I am 28 now and I feel like I’ve spent the majority of my life wanting it to end, so much so that I’ve adjusted to the idea of having control over my own ending. Well this year I escaped a hostile workplace (bullying, harassment, the lot…) and now I’m wanting to live again. It’s the first time I’m living for me and not in the name of validation and acceptance from others. I am in a good job which pays really good, I have holidays booked and I don’t have to work full time because the shifts pay so well. It’s an autistic’s dream (well anybody’s dream but great for not having burnout particularly more common in autistic folks). I know I’m young and it’s good that I’m excited to live now, but now I’m experiencing this absolute dread of getting older and passing away. Now I’m accepting that my mum will likely die before me and I will be on my own, which I struggle with because of certain tasks I find extremely difficult to do by myself. I’m terrified. I know it comes to all of us but I genuinely used to beg to die. Now I’m almost triggered by losing that control because I’m so used to having it.
| 2 |
My head is a mess
|
I'm 24 years old and i have the feeling that i'm losing control over my life. I've always known that i have a Peter Pan -syndrome and I hate to be pushed in taking responsibilities in life.
2 years ago, just after i graduated, my dad past away from cancer. Since then, I had the feeling that I needed to be there for my sister, especialy since my mom started to develop a drinking problem during my dads final months. At this point, mom started to hide bottles of wine throughout the house.
2 weeks back, my girlfriend and I signed our papers to buy our first house together. She left on a ski-trip at the end of the same week. On the first night that she is gone, i went to a party and went home with a female friend for a final drink. Eventually we talked for hours and talked about my whole situation. At this point I tell her that i don't know if I can see myself living for the rest of my life with my girlfriend. When I was about to leave and drive home with my bike, my drunk ass decided to kiss the female friend and we started making out for a little while. We were just sober enough to decide to not have sex.
I started questioning my whole relationship since that night. I even started to get feelings for the female friend. When my girlfriend came back from her skitrip, I decided to tell her that I had doubts over the home but we already signed te papers. I told her that I didn't knew what i wanted to do with my life and where I saw myself in 3 years or with who. She started to cry, and I still love her and it hurts to see her that way. I also confessed that I had started to develop feelings for someone else even though I know it isn't the other way around. We decided to put everything on hold and I now have to go to the bank to see if I could get the house on my own. I know that my homesituation is to toxic to stay there.
I feel like a total asshole right know, I feel like I am completely and don't know what to do right now. I still text both my girlfriend and other friend, but i have the feeling that the friend is already texting other guys as well.
I don't know of many of you will read the whole post and i believe writing this allready helps to clear my mind a bit, but any tips and advice is more that welcome!
| 3 |
Help with addiction
|
I need help
First of all, sorry for my bad english, I live in Brazil.
I started watching porn at 11 years old, my parents didn't think it would be harmful for a kid to have access to internet this early, the result is I've been a porn addict for 9 years now, I've been really trying to quit since 2021 when I noticed that porn was a problem in my life, I tried to do nofap streaks but couldn't get past 2 weeks, then I've read the easypeasy method and I thought that I was finally free from this curse, then I relapsed a month later. These last few days been really painful, I've tried to do lots of things to keep my life busy, I work out regularly, I've started boxing too two years ago, I read and play video games, but I just can't stop watching, I've tried every book every method you may know of, I've tried stop using my phone my computer it also didn't help, I've had girlfriends, been with a lot of girls, but I still come back to porn. Today I've decided that I might have no option and maybe I need to do something extreme to stop, I want to cut my dick off but I'm afraid that I can die, I just want a way out, I don't even care about a sex, I just want to enjoy life again.
| 1 |
What’s wrong with me? What am I? I feel like a menace Thoughts?
|
G
| 1 |
Constantly Overstimulated
|
Hello guys I am looking for some advice; Ever since I hit my head really hard a few years ago and had to go to the hospital I have felt off and on constantly Overstimulated. To the point where the wind makes me feel like I flinch. I used to have a zest for life even though I got depressed. I would wake up and feel this aggressive drive to take on the world. I am a metal head and have been for over 15 years.
However since the injury I have only been able to listen to any music or genre for small periods of time before I feel overstimulated and getting no enjoyment out of it. And I mean even soft music has made me feel overstimulated. But it's not just that it's lights, voices, smells,being awake even sometimes when there's no stimulation. It's truly been hell and very disheartening. Has anyone experienced this type of anxiety? Was there anything that brought you back to your normal self or helped you? Thanks for reading.
| 4 |
Tired of feeling this way. TW suicidal thoughts (just needing to vent)
|
I'm tired of feeling like I don't want to be here anymore. Like everyone would be better off with out me. I don't have anything to contribute to relationships or society, I have no purpose and am just taking up space and resources.
If it weren't for my dog, I think I would have acted on these thoughts. It's because of him that I'm still here and why I will continue to be here. They're just thoughts, no actual plan and no intention on acting on the thoughts. But I'm tired of these thoughts constantly lingering.
| 2 |
When did you let go of addiction caused by guilt ?
|
Does it ever go away even if you stop using/drinking?
The guilt the feeling you did wrong codependency etc
| 3 |
mentally, im all over the place
|
Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. I don’t recognize my voice. I haven’t taken a picture of myself since October because I didn’t know who I was looking at when I did. Life is currently feeling like one long nightmare or movie I can’t turn off. I feel like I’m watching everything through a tv screen in my head. When it’s not feeling like a nightmare, I feel so detached from everything, like an out of body experience.
I feel like a danger to myself and society. I have intrusive thoughts about hurting everyone around me. I feel like the only thing that’s keeping me from entertaining those thoughts is my job. I don’t want to actually do those things, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I almost drove myself off a bridge the other day on the way to work because my intrusive thoughts got the better of me, but luckily, I was able to get back on the right side of the road before it was too late and I realized what I was doing.
I have so much anxiety about work and having to be social. Thinking about work or being nearby my job makes me physically ill. I get migraines and feel nauseous. I want to quit my job because the environment and work itself are not beneficial to my mental health, but I fear trying new things. I also have guilt about leaving because they’re understaffed and rely heavily on me because one of few dependable employees.
I finally bit the bullet and made an appointment to start psychiatry again, but I’m in my head about it and thinking of cancelling. I haven’t seen a psychiatrist in 7 years. I know I need the help, but I fear that if I’m completely open and honest about everything, I’ll be committed to a psych ward. I know I probably need it, but it’s never been helpful in the past because of the forced group therapy. I find myself just telling them what they want to hear to be discharged.
| 1 |
How to forgive?
|
i've been struggling with a previous relationship for a few years now, and even though i've gotten into a new relationship since then, i still can't help but think about them nearly everyday. we had been friends growing up and lost touch in high school, but we later reconnected and started hanging out together. shit was great. i liked them, they liked me, we had shared history, we hung out a LOT, so i eventually asked them out. they said yes, and acted like i should've done it weeks beforehand. when we were together, i was over the fucking moon and even though i noticed small things here and there, (they didn't like to hold my hand in public but was perfectly fine doing it while i drove, didn't want to label things even though we had been seeing each other for months, etc.) i never caught on until they had broken my heart right before valentine's day. they had been struggling with their mental health and i left them alone, as they asked me to. cut to a month later on valentine's day, she spent the entire day w her friend as opposed to doing the plans we had both agreed on, and had been sporadically texting an old ex during the day. i didn't know until they called them when i had gotten there and asked if it was ok if we all could hang out instead of doing our plans. reluctantly, i agreed, and the next day they broke it off with me and got with their ex. in hindsight i should've put my foot down and said no, i agree, but i didn't connect the dots, like i said.
after that they began belittling me to my face, even going as far as to try and destroy the friendship their sibling and i had developed, even though it had little to nothing to do with her. this continued for months and months until they got tired of it, i assume, and moved on from trying to shame me. before january, we were fucking gold. nothing on my end changed, they just went through a breakdown and asked me to give them space for a few days. i obliged. i have always tried to be kind and loving to them, and i understand that i missed the mark most days, but they told me they appreciated my acts of kindness and acted like we were in a serious relationship.
i understand i was being led on. i've gotten over that part by now. even though it's been so long, how do i stop them from appearing in my mind like a goddamn ghost? i have no intentions to speak with them again, but i can't stop thinking about them from time to time. i just don't understand how something so fucking good went so wrong, and i can't stop myself from going "ah, you should've done this instead of that," "you didn't deserve them," shit like that. i can't stop beating myself up over it.
sorry for the messy recap, i'm losing my fucking mind over this and i want them out of my head for the rest of my life.
| 2 |
Should I go to therapy?
|
I am a 16 years old living in a country where mental health and therapy are not very talked about and are discouraged and overlooked. I have been fighting what I think is depression for years alone. I have had self harming thoughts for about six months now but didn’t act on it until two days ago. I started cutting myself with a razor. Today was a very bad day and I did it twice I also had suicidal thoughts and reached to the the point where I wrote a last words latter to my family and friend, I didn’t go through with it but i did however go up and down the stairs for hours running with socks and hoping I would fall and get hurt, I even spelt water on the stairs to make them extra slippery but it didn’t work. Now I am sitting in my bathroom after I moved from cutting my thighs to cutting my wrist. I am thinking of telling my mom but I also have the feeling that since it is only my second time that I am over reacting. What do you think?
P.S. English is not my first language so I am sorry if there are any mistakes.
I should also add that I am on my period so I am extra emotional these days
| 3 |
Eating disorder help
|
Hi so I just recently learned that my friend has and eating disorder and I want to know how to help. Every time I hangout with her she won't eat dinner and she says the thought of food makes her sick, I haven't known her for too long but we're really close, she's 17 and I know her mom used to have one. I just want to know how to help her without it seeming like I'm going to send her to a rehab, I don't want to go telling her things like "you're beautiful" or "you're not fat" because I feel like she's just going to think I'm saying that because I'm her friend and I love her. I just want to support her in the right way. So let me know if you have any advice, thanks!
| 1 |
My little-great Problem
|
Hey there people,
I first joined today,
my problem is not getting up on my self and if people are trying to help me, in my mind it not count as I made it on myself and then I feel like a Looser witch results in doing the the absolute minimum to "survive" the day.
Since last weekend ive the problem I got kicked out of the "thought" (I felt never like that) home and lived for the past days at the other parents home (witch i lived like 10+ Years of my life (rn iam 18)).
after I came back because of work. I feel not safe at the spot here and I am sick of the judges here. The judges like about local news, politics and last but not least about the work and how shit theirs and mines are and that my job is like doin nothing.
What is completly wrong I am doing an "Voluntary Services in the Field of Culture and Education" (sorry I just looked for the Word at the Internet because I am not a native english speaker) at an Sportsclub next to us and iam doing some stuff that is pretty nerve tugging.
After work that normally ends at 6/8½ am I am driving back home and spending my freetime behind my PC and not talking to people there are living around me and are old like me and meet them.
And my main question is how did I get away from all this and doing a reset.
Thanks for every reply,
Malte
| 1 |
Some Input
|
Hello,
I hope everybody is doing as well as they can. I want to ask the men in the community something, especially older men.
I am doing a research project on men's mental health as they seem to tend to get less support than women do. I want you to give some input (if you are comfortable of course) about why this is. Is it because men are raised with "men don't cry" or "men do not show emotion" type of bullshit? Would raising awareness and undoing the stigma help you get the help? Or is it something completely different than that?
Thank you.
| 3 |
How do I ensure that I’m not romanticising mental illness in my story?
|
Hiya.
I’m currently writing a short story. It’s inspired by the mental health Institution in the film “To The Bone”.
Two boys with PTSD meet and find comfort and understanding in one another.
They’re able to help eachother and eventually develop feelings.
Now, I obviously don’t want this to be problematic. I don’t want to glorify or romanticise mental illness. The goal was to write a couple that found love despite their individual problems and show that having mental illness doesn’t necessarily prevent you from finding a relationship.
| 2 |
Making Up Conversations, and Forgetting Whether They're Real
|
Hi all!! Ok so I'll try to explain as best as I can but basically - when I'm bored, when I can't sleep, or even when I'm walking on my own, I make up conversations in my head. I think most people do that though (right?). Sometimes I'll just talk to myself, but sometimes I'm also imagining a conversation, as if I was telling my friend something for example. Except now, I've started to realize that I sometimes cannot remember if a conversation has actually happened, or not. It's so weird. I don't always realize I'm doing it WHEN I'm doing it, but sometimes I look back and I'm like 'wait... did that actually happen or was I just IMAGINING that happen...?'. I've always been quite creative and thought about a lot, especially when I was on my own, and it was never really an issue. But now it's starting to become an actual problem because I sometimes do not remember if things actually happened or not and it's kinda scary... Anyone else experience this? Any advice on how to stop doing that??
| 2 |
Please help…I don’t understand
|
Hello Reddit,
I (23 NB) have a bad time happening. Due to trauma because of my Ex Wife I am afraid of my current partner (N/A F). She has EDS and other symptoms so she is bed ridden. When she is I’m fine around her. When he is able to move around and such I get anxious and jumpy and move quickly. It’s straining our relationship so we are now not together until I get to therapy and heal but…it’s bad. I wanna relapse to SH after being clean for over a year because hurting her is hurting me. I hate seeing her upset and shit. We fought earlier and now I hate myself more. I don’t know what to do. She makes me so happy and smile genuinely. I don’t want to be without her. This is the healthiest relationship I’ve been in. We talk and laugh and goof around but…because of my fear it’s bad. She was gonna move her bed away from where immune is because if it. I’m scared….help….
| 1 |
Why do some people break generational curses and others don’t?
|
What is the reason? And why is it usually one person that gets out? I’m having a lot of realizations right now after moving away and not talking to any family for more than a year and it’s making me explode.
| 3 |
I cry easily and afraid of conflicts. Please help me.
|
I’ve always been a sensitive person but recently I noticed that I cry very easily. My life is okay there is nothing much to stress or worry about. The triggers are if someone is mad at me or annoyed with me, I can feel my face swelling and asking to cry. Even if someone doesn’t say anything but show a little bit of annoyance or discomfort, I immediately start over explaining myself and start saying sorry again and again. I feel bad for hours and it takes a lot of crying to feel better. I also feel this way when someone disagrees with me, I feel like I am in a warzone or something and I need to do a lot to fix things. Can any of you explain why am I like this and how can I fix this. Please help me 🙏🏻
| 3 |
Shaken awake by the road and I can't sleep. Super Sensitive Hearing.
|
// Burner Account cause I dont use reddit much.
I didnt know where else to ask- but it feels like I'm losing my mind every day about this.
Specifically I'd need some anti-bass and noise-canceling assistance.
I live about a quarter mile from a small town about an hour from Orlando. If you've ever been vacationing here you'd know how bad the drivers are.
I'm right on the road along with some other houses. Second floor, incredibly well insulated- been in the same College house for 14 months, only here for another 9 months.
Around here's your town 25 zone, that cuts into a 35 (where I live) before changing to a 40. There's a couple of school zones too.
But regardless, about 1/8 drivers are degenerates that gun it at 50 the moment they touch this road.
And because everybody wants to drive a brick of a car now, the sheer speed they're going causes some kinda vibration that shakes my bed. Or some bottom boy blew his money on 4 subwoofers and thinks the world needs a second heartbeat.
I already cope with this by rocking some Sony WF-XM4000's with their incredible noise canceling. They're damn good.
But recently some painters came around and redid the house, and I could swear ever since they did, the road has woken me up way too many times.
I'm a light sleeper with incredibly sensitive hearing. I can casually hear someone breathe from 10 feet away and I genuinely think that's normal. I'm freaky right, but all the little noises that people make get me so irritated.
I get frustrated only at the noises caused by someone else. Like I'm only hearing these irritating sounds because of that one asshole. I.e., 5AM cut muffler 45Mph F-150.
But if I have sound, like a 3D printer going in my room at night, and I can sleep fine through it all.
It's specifically when someone else causes a sound that I get so upset.
Typical college kid- I stay up late, but I do like everything online. And cause EST sucks, I'll actually fall asleep at like 3 or 4, and wake up at 11:30 and feel like I got only 5 hours of sleep some 'nights'.
Funny enough, 3am is actually one of the only times I can legitimately fall asleep without being shaken awake by some asshole. No one is up at 3am, making it finally silent by the road.
I'd call this my own problem if it was consistant, but it seems like its up to what degenerates wanna drive today. Also because it sometimes literally vibrates my house.
I get really, really, like crazy-really upset about this.
Its to the point that I'll say the VERY worst words in my head. I dont know many times I've hoped someone would..."get stuck in Minecraft Nether", cause honestly I go unhinged when I find out some random asshole was the cause of me waking up. My mid-sleep brain says "some people just shouldnt really exist huh", and I have to take a step back about myself, but all I wanna do is sleep, but I can't because of the very same copy/pasted asshole who I literally feel through my bed every minute.
Like, what can I do? Ask the town's legal team to install a speed cam? Ask my landlord if somehow the new paint caused more noise in the house? File a noise complaint about the damn road? Or just embrace the crazy and put a sign outside my school-zone house saying "SLOW THE F*** DOWN"?
What about soundproofing? Does anybody know anything that'd stop bassy vibrations? Or are there better ANC's than XM4's?
I don't know, and what I know right now that I'm tired as hell and can't sleep thanks to the vibration in my bed that I've felt every minute for the hour I've been typing this.e
| 1 |
How do I get help?
|
Hi, I'm pretty certain I need help with mental health. Pretty sure that I have autism or depression, or both. I live in Canada.
How does the process work, and where do I start?
| 1 |
Journaling
|
Hi y’all. I used to journal a lot when I was a teenager into my young adult years. My mother in law (ex now) read a very private journal I kept at work to keep away from her son. I had no idea she snooped in my stuff. That ruined journaling for me. It’s not the same for me to do it otp and I don’t really worry about anyone in my house snooping, but what about when I die? What do y’all do with your journals when they’re full? I started therapy this week, so I figured it’s a good time to put use to the journal that’s been in the Amazon bag it was delivered in over a year ago. Just wondering others thoughts. Tia.
| 2 |
I keep having nightmares about letting down this girl I used to be in love with
|
So as the title says I used to be in love with a girl (lets call her S) two years ago, but she didn't like me back and things didn't work out. I tried to salvage any friendship we had but she wasn't really responsive.
Now, I still have nightmares which involve the most ridiculous scenarios where I'm letting her down. Yesterday I dreamt that I went to one of my friends birthday parties, which was great and it turned out that S had planned the entire event but I was flat out drunk and made a complete arse of myself when I tried to congratulate her, by wishing the wrong person, and I never saw S again.
This isn't the only time this has happened. There have been multiple times where I wake up from similar nightmares involving her and this is despite the fact that I've made repeated attempts to block her out of my mind.
This is probably the most vague post ever and isn't as time sensitive as others in this community, but any suggestions would be helpful
| 1 |
I need some serious fucking help.
|
I get no attention. Everyone thinks i have no life when they’re right. I just can’t end it. When i ask of help they make fun of me. When i try to make friends. They discard me like i am nothing. Everyone one i meet get bothered by me. I don’t want to seek help. This is an alt of my account. If i posted this in my main my family will make fun of me. People just say to smile. I smile. They think i am weird. I am ugly. I am a maniac. I dont get any love. I look at a mirror i see an ugly person being judged by his friends. Everyone says i love you. I hate it when they say it. Its just a bunch of lies. My friends who i think they support me. Finding out they used me. My family thinks i am just an obstacle in their lives. Not even a family help me. Everyone thinks i am wrong in everything. My mom saying i am a fucking animal when i eat. I am not shocked if my family knew i posted this. They will search my private chats and account to find something to judge me for it. I just can’t end it. I feel something bad will happen to everyone i know if i kms. I dont want to seek help. I just want someone to know how i feel about my life. Bye
| 2 |
I feel lonely, but too scared to make deep connections. What do I do?
|
Since graduating from high school a lot of people have come and gone. I always feel like it’s my fault they left, but why exactly I don’t know. Probably because I open myself up.
During the pandemic I lost contact with even more people. I kept initiating contact, only for nothing to happen. Even a friend of 12 years suddenly stopped talking to me.
Lately I’ve started meeting new people. They’re a nice group that go on trips often. I want to be part of that group, but I feel like I shouldn’t. Seeing their pics on IG about the trip they’re on and having fun, makes me want to have that too. But I think I’ll never get that. History’s going to repeat itself anyway, so why should I bother.
What do I do? Should I risk it, should I stop, should I just reset my life, move abroad and start over?
| 2 |
please I need help
|
basically it's been like this for years and I'm scared for the future.
At the moment I'm having a moment of... idek. My chest tight I feel shaky my heart hurts I want to cut and kill myself for the pain to go away. This happens everytime I'm in contact with my triggers and it's almost daily. I can't escape it and I'll never escape it. This period of feeling like this lasts hours or days depending on whether someone could've made me feel better. It serves as more of a distraction I guess but I'm never truly better and can easily slip into being like this again. I need help it hurts so much I want to kms. I want to kill everyone who's made and makes me feel this way. I need help I don't know what this is and I want to feel better I just want to feel better it's not going away it never goes away please I want to feel better.
I'm 18
Al,out no one takes me seriously or respects the way I feel and only my friend is with me sometimes or can help. But most 9f the time I'm alone and I hate my family so they don't help either.
Please help me know what this is and find ways to feel better or fix this I'm begging I need help
| 1 |
already resigned from toxic job but buisness may have to shut doors if I go
|
Hey so I'm in a management role at a resturant unfortunetly it has not been a good fit and I have decided to leave so have some others I have the added pressure of working understaffed with a low moral a heave work load due to being incredibly busy and am already burnt out overworked and missing days off due to the current situation
I have resigned however if a replacement is not found and other staff are hired the venue will have to shut its doors and there are many people's paychecks relying on them being open I am mentaly hurting stressed beyond belief and have 0 support on the back end in resolving many of these issues I want to leave this work enviroment immediately yet stand the risk of ruining my reputation and causing destruction on the way out
What do I do I need advice ? Tia
| 2 |
Nightmares two days In a row
|
Ok , so I was wondering why as I’ve looked at all my meds and none of the side effects are nightmares so my support worker said it could be my diet for example too much cheese. Anyone else know what causes nightmares in relation to mental health?
| 1 |
Am I the only one finding my life pointless.
|
Hey, since 3 months I am feeling that there is no reason for the things I am doing. Why am I doing this job and why am I even living. I find excitement in nothing. I feel like I am getting up for no reason.
| 2 |
How to Love Yourself The Ultimate Guide to Prioritizing Your Mental and...
| null | 1 |
Therapist kicked me out in a sudden unprofessional fit
|
So for reference I have always had a very good relationship with my therapist and have been seeing them for about a year and a half. I have a very casual relationship with this therapist which has, at times, felt somewhat unprofessional but I actually kind of liked it casual and almost “friend like.” Not that they didn’t give professional advice of course, but there were just some moments of “ehh I don’t know if this is really therapeutic advice or just casual talking.” At any rate I had a very close relationship with this therapist and was a twice-weekly client for almost my entire time with them. Flashback to a few days ago I was talking to my therapist and I brought up having heard about and then done research on a rather unsettling statistic presented by the NIH (the specific statistic isn’t important but it was in the area of domestic violence). I in no way gave any indication that this statistic influenced my behavior, thoughts, or perceptions about anything, however the mere mention of it sent my therapist into an extremely emotional state. They implied that I may be planning something criminally violent or that I was some kind of maniac. I repeatedly tried to deny this and explain myself but they wouldn’t hear it and then proceeded to kick me out of the office mid session telling me that they wouldn’t work with me any more and that they would refer me to someone else. I was extremely hurt and tried to reach out afterwards with a lucid, albeit frustrated text. They have been totally ghosting me for a few days(I only reached out once, right after this happened). For reference I have diagnosed GAD and have a lot of problems with being emotionally vulnerable and treated unfairly in relationships. Can’t help but feel like this is literally feeding into it. This person has known my deepest thoughts and feelings for over a year, and they implied I was planning violent crimes(which I wouldn’t ever do or even think about). I feel so betrayed and sick over this, I thought this person knew me but apparently they didn’t at all. Is there any chance I can patch things up with this person or is this too extreme an example of unprofessional behavior?
TLDR: Somewhat unprofessional therapist assumed I was thinking about committing violent crimes because of a statistic I had read on NIH, kicked me out of office, and ghosted me. This is extremely hurtful to me because of relationship problems and dealing with my anxiety. Wondering what to do and think now.
| 1 |
Springtime causes anxiety and lightheadedness
|
Hello,
Ever since my very late teen years I have had very difficult periods in spring time. I get extra stressed and anxious about life and also really struggle to concentrate. This normally lasts from March to May. I do think I have a case of reversed SAD however what really concerns me is not the heightened anxiety and stress but more the constant feeling of being light headed, like I am about to faint. It obviously really impacts my concentration and ability to function properly at work and as a normal human.
Can someone explain to me why exactly this happens? Why do I feel like im going to faint and never rested no matter how much I sleep in these months? I do not have seasonal allergies either and it was not like this when i was a child.
I have had a couple of hard spring times that caused me a lot of mental stress in the past 5-7 years and im just afraid of it constantly continuing for the rest of my life.
I also started a very important internship and moved countries and almost fainted at the office last week. Was rushed to a nurse on the premises and was told I have gastritis too.
Has spring made anyone else drowsy as hell and generally scared for their well being? If so, how did you guys cope?
Wishing you all a good spring.
| 1 |
tw/suicide.
|
My bestfriend and I are both really struggling with our mental health. I’m extremely suicidal but I try not to tell her for obvious reason, she has the bravery to ask for help but she’s misplaced her trust in me for being a great support system.
I’ve already given up and have a date set for my passing, I have most things prepared. She’s still trying and I’m proud of her for doing so. I just hope that she becomes less reliant on me so that when I do go, it won’t be as hurtful to her.
I’m so tired.
| 1 |
I'm so tired of being the only semifunctional person in my relationship
|
I love my wife to pieces, but her mental health is non existent. She stays at home and does nothing (and I do mean laying-in-bed-staring-at-a-wall style nothing) all day everyday. She tries to do the chores since I bring in the income, but most often she becomes overwhelmed and ultimately doesn't get anything done.
She's just become a codependent hermit and I don't feel like I can confront her about it because of her mental health and past traumas. I bring in the money, I cook, I handle everything she can't. But if ever I need support, I can never expect to receive it.
She'll occasionally do small things for me, like refill my water bottle and such, but anything more and she falls apart. I love her, I would never leave her, but holy hell is it taking a toll on me being in charge of both of our lives and mental healths with basically no assistance on her end. I have severe mental health issues and I can barely care for myself, how am I supposed to do that on top of basically running my partner's entire life with no help or reinforcement from her in any aspect?
Any advise (other than getting her therapy, we're working on it) is accepted and appreciated.
| 1 |
I'm very suicidal
|
hello, I'm in high school and I'm thinking about killing myself beacause of school work and bullying. please help
| 3 |
Im a narcissistic asshole, but i cant accept it.
|
Hi,
Im a narcissitic asshole who lies, steals, and cheats my way out of most shit. Im a highschool student and ive recently moved in with my cousins due to an abuse relationship wuth my mom and my chronicly ill father. But this isnt about them, or my parents or my shitty childhood. This is about me, and my issues. I. not a good person, and even now saying that out loud i dont belive it. I know my actions are bad. I know what ive done is bad, but i myself just wont acceot the reality. Change starts with acceptance, and i want to change. Ive seen how my actions (especially lying) have affected those around me, family, friends, and myself. This isnt a pity party, and this isnt me feeling bad for myself. Im simply stating im a dick, and i need help. After talking to my cousin about my issues (after being caught in a massive lie about not failing all of my classes) and he suggested coming to reddit to speak out and be honest, so i am. I have no reason to lie, cheat, steal, or do anything. But no matter what i do i cant seem to change. I look at myself in the mirror and call myself as many horrible things as i can but nothing works. So as advised ive come here, asking for adivce on how to start changing. I want to change and i need to change. Be as hard, brutal, or rude as you can be. I deserve any and all hate for the shit ive put others through.
| 4 |
What are some strategies for compartmentalizing?
|
Recently I’ve found myself feeling the worst I’ve felt since I almost died in a car wreck. I had a fight with my gf and haven’t heard from her in a few weeks, I can’t focus in my college lectures and my grades are slipping, and I’m performing negatively at work; my boss brought this up in my bi weekly review. I’m really struggling and I don’t really have any friends I can ask for help. My parents are helpful and I love them but i can only share so much. What are some strategies for compartmentalizing emotions so I can do what I need to do on a day to day basis. I’ve tried watching jocko podcasts and goggins videos for motivation and that usually helps but I can’t get rid of this debilitating hopelessness. Any help appreciated.
| 2 |
Does anybody else struggle with crying alone?
|
For as long as I remember I (F, 27) have been struggling to cry by myself even though sometimes I really want to. However, several times during my life I have cried in public (in my student group or among my teachers, parents, friends) when I was having a nervous breakdown or smth like that. I have never cried at work though. I wish I could cry by myself to release my emotions, but I cannot. Does anybody else feel the same way?
P.S. I have depression, anxiety and several chronic illnesses with chronic pain. I was on various antidepressants in my life, but decided to stop them because of other health issues. None of my antidepressants affected me crying.
| 1 |
Misdiagnosed with OCD?
|
I recently started seeing a new psychiatrist for ADHD. She asked if I thought I had symptoms of OCD, and I said: “maybe, like sometimes if I touch something cold with the back of my left hand, I feel a need to touch the same thing with my right hand, or I feel like something is missing, like I’m not completing a circuit. But it doesn’t happen often, and I’ll be over it in 10mn if I don’t do it. It might happen once a month or every couple of months. It’s not something I feel interferes with my life because once those 10mn pass Im perfectly fine.” In the visit notes, I noticed she added a diagnosis of OCD.
Am I just not fully understanding what OCD is, or could this be a misdiagnosis?
| 1 |
I think about suicide everyday
|
I’ve thought about suicide everyday for a long time and I can’t deal with it anymore
I can’t explain to my family because they don’t understand what mental illnesses are/ don’t believe in them.
I’ve tried different sources and none have helped.
I’m against taking antidepressants due to side affects i’ve researched. So I just pray that something or someone comes up to me and kills me
| 1 |
its so scary to see how many people in my generation feels like this its not fair <3
| null | 6 |
What is wrong with me?
|
I cant take care of myself. Everybody leaves me and tells me that I need to "figure myself out" and "talk to your therapist" and that they can't be in a relationship with me because I'm bringing them down. I DO go to therapy. And I TRY. Why does everybody leave? I know I have issues and I want to get better. I know things can get better. But Idk how to make things get better. I'm starting to feel suicidal again. I can't wait forever for things to change. Idk what to change. Idk how to make myself more likeable. I've been called an abuser and a manipulator when in reality I've never intended on hurting someone like that. I feel so lost and alone.
| 1 |
freinds
|
r/MentalHealthSupport I need freinds please dm me im m15
| 3 |
The “spiderweb” in my head
|
Hey there everyone. I mostly just wanted a place to vent about this issue I have that’s been strongly affecting my mental health. If anyone has any advice or has heard of anything similar, I would greatly appreciate any help. I’m not looking for a diagnosis, but I’m not sure if I maybe should be.
In the past two years, I have reached a point in my life where I commonly psychology and how people think. While I wouldn’t want to study it deeply, I do find it to be a fascinating topic on a conversational level. I also have a pretty weird brain, and part of the discussion was originally trying to find validation in the daily struggles that I have.
One of these most common ones, which I am now posting about, is what I call the spiderweb. It feels almost like this root system or web that starts at the top and back of my head and runs through to my limbs. I feel like there is this festering energy, usually starting in my head, that consistently comes back to annoy me. Sometimes, I can get rid of it with an intentional shake of a limb or my body. Other times, it causes tics that, while I can hold back and quell, can be very irritating or near impossible to do so. The worst is when this feeling just sits in my head or a piece of the “web”, and I can’t get rid of it no matter how hard I try. I would like to note that the tics are entirely physical.
Before I started openly talking about psychology more, I guess I just thought that this was entirely normal. That everyone is also just constantly dealing with it. Now that I understand it’s not a universal problem, I have allowed myself to tic more often and outlet some of this energy. I do struggle with insecurity about it, especially with trying to explain to people who knew me before I stopped suppressing the majority of this, although I’ve found that people are generally pretty accepting. I have found it much harder to suppress tics now that I allow myself freedom.
It did contribute to some mild self-harm that was hard to control because of the nature of this “spiderweb”. I went through a long period of depression and suicidal thoughts. I’m generally past that now, but it has made me a little more motivated to try to open up about this so I can avoid anything dangerous in the future.
Honestly, I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I know it will feel good to just get it out somewhere. If you did read it, thanks for listening. I appreciate having somewhere to put this. :)
| 1 |
Pain as a friend (?
|
I don't know why but my mind keeps telling me to hurt myself.
I''m not saying like lethal wounds, but to feel pain (physical) through little things such as cuts made by razors (most of them), biting the tips of my fingers, playing with the lighter. I don't know if this counts but I don't really care about the pain of the needles when doing a tattoo I kinda find it relaxing and looking forward to keep it harder but I think that's pretty normal between those who have tattoos.
Anyway, I'm not trying to make me look edgy or cool (misunderstood) in any way because if these things. I just wanna hear about your opinion about why this happen and what does it mean. I consider myself a lonely person because I find it peaceful and I don't really talk a lot so you can consider me an introvert as well. But of course sometimes I feel a little too much of loneliness in me. And doing these things make me feel a little better(? Or relieved (? But at the same time makes me wonder why I have to do that to get that feeling. And I'm not a s()icid()l person because I really want to live and that's just not my case.
Sorry if I bothered you. Thanks
| 1 |
I am so exhausted
|
I just want to get better and I feels like it’s so far away again. I keep falling back on over eating, sleeping too much, and burying myself in work. “You’re so productive” I would rather work myself to the bone so that I don’t have to think about anything anymore.
My depression has gotten to the point where I just want to kill myself with work.
My plan right now is to go back to EMDR and keep up with DBT. I have an appointment with my doctor and i think I’m gonna get her to increase my wellbutrin. I need to keep going but I just want to stop. All these skills under my belt and I still don’t know how to cope with myself getting in the way.
| 1 |
my life ends in 3 weeks
|
26m I was diagnosed with severe panic disorder and depression 3 years ago. I haven't been able to hold down a job. My last job was an Amazon warehouse they only had four to five hour shifts and I could never make it through it. I found myself constantly having panic attacks after being there more than an hour. I would have to constantly leave the line to go to the bathroom feeling faint and dizzy on the verge of passing out just to vomit in a toilet. And then I would splash water on my face look in the mirror get a hold of myself and go back to the line just to have one again in another 10 minutes. I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years I currently live with her and my sister and they pay all the bills. We had another roommate but she suddenly moved out and now I have three weeks to come up with her portion of rent. If I don't we all get kicked out and I guarantee my girlfriend leaves and my sister can't support me and neither can my family. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and I'm on medication but my insurance doesn't support the amount of medicine I need on the daily just to sit in my house without constant anxiety and to be honest I can hardly even pay for the insurance. But if I don't find some way to make a living in 3 weeks everything ends and if I can't do regular things like leave the house go to the grocery store or make any form of income with all the support that I have how am I going to do it homeless. Is there something I'm missing? Is there a better option? Any form of advice would help
| 1 |
I resent my brother, is that bad?
|
Today I hung out with my(14yo) brother (19yo) and asked to watch this show and told me that he watch it while he was high and then he told me that he smoke weed, and now giant feeling of resentment in my stomach. I've always been uncomfortable with people being drunk and high around me, this includes my family. So when he started to drink the feeling started to grow but now that I know he smokes my resentment is strong. Also I can handle people being drunk around me better than high since my brain connects my family members who drink to alcohol,then alcohol to cleanliness, and my brain connects weed to feeling unsafe at my ex pothead friend house since her family members (beside her) are racist( I am a poc) and now it connects my brother to that feeling.
| 1 |
Sometimes I just don’t want to talk?
|
I’m 20m. I’m adhd and maybe a bit autistic I have some of those traits but ya know. Those things are weird. I don’t know if those things are part of why I get like this. I’ve always been a very to myself kinda person. Im always the happiest when I’ve just taken care of me. I’ve spent alot of my life silent. Im in school with a partner and roommates and I never feel really. At peace with it all. It’s always alot and I’m always having to deal with human interaction and I think sometimes I just hit points where I don’t want to do it and I just. Don’t want to talk. Im fine with communicating I’m not even like anxious when I do it I just. Don’t want to move my mouth anymore. I find peace in being quiet. Do other people not like to talk like this?
| 1 |
I had a fight with my brother and i feel terrible
|
My brother is a 20 years old , i am 24 years old, we live with my parents on the countryside of a city in Chile, my brother has Asperger and he was molested by his teacher at school when he was 10, because of his condition it took a long time before we could figure it out, i tried to stay positive to make my brother happy, tried to stay close to him and make him feel safe, my mom since then she always overprotected him, after a year, i heard my mom drunk at a family party while talking about the case "why didn't (my name) heard anything or do anything", i didn't overthink it too much at the time because almost all of my uncles where mumbling nonsense anyways because of the alcohol, but since the start of the pandemic i feel like she meant it.
The bastard that molested my brother got it easy on the court because they asked too much-complicated questions to my brother in public (people like my brother don't tend to do too well in these situations) and since the justice system at that time didn't use video for testimonials they ruled in favor of the bastard, at least they kept him away from any schools. My mom of course was devastated so she keep overprotecting him a lot more.
I didn't do so well in school at that time, since we live outside of town i went to school to just get to meet my few friends, i didn't have any internet either because it wasn't an option in the countryside so i almost never got to play or chat with my friends online, it was the same with my brother, but he got a lot of friends like him in another new school, he was happy that there were people other than family caring about him, so i was happy too.
A few years later i bought a new pc and a stable enough connection to the internet from a local business (god i love them so much), so i got into PC gaming and trading in the Steam marketplace and earn quite a lot of money from TF2 hats. After a few years, i was out of school and into University, my father gave me as a gift half of the money to buy a new pc so i did and gave the old one to my brother, i created a new Steam account for him and bought a few games from Valve, a few months later my brother got addicted to the PC, he was addicted to the gambling stuff that games integrated on that time and buying games, it got so bad that he wasted all of his money on stupid shit that his PC couldn't even run, every time i tried to interfere my mom got angry at me because she thought that i shouldn't do her job at correcting him but she never did because she didn't know shit about the internet nor PCs so one day i took the ram stick from his pc and hid it in my room so he couldn't use it, he never knew that i took it and he thought that it was just broken
The pandemic starts and he was in the final 2 years of school, since he didn't have any communications with his pals his mental state went down a lot, he even started to use meds to ease his ramping angry issues and money-wasting tendencies, but they never got away, he usually buys stuff for his phone and when i confront him, everyone gets mad at me, since then i got very sad and depressed, when he was out of money he tried to steal from a family's member bank account, he even stole some of my TF2 items and sold them for cheap money because he didn't even understand how the market works, every time that i tried to stop him he gets angry at me and scream at me, he sometimes said; "You can't order me to do something that i don't want to". The pandemic not only affected him, as i said before, i started to think about what my mom said on that day and every time that i tried to help my brother, it feels as if i failed to him and there is nothing i can do about it, and it really fucking hurts so much, not to mention that i was studying in home for a computer engineering and informatics, and how my mom knows nothing of the internet and pc world, she thought i was a stupid hobo that was gaming all the time instead of work, which it also affected my mental health
​
At the start of 2022, my aunt bought a part of our land to build a house, my grandpa; who's been building houses all of his life; my mom, and my brother accepted the job of building the house for my aunt for a relatively low price (it is family after all), i thought it would be a great opportunity for my brother to mature on his money issues so i was happy, a few months when by and my brother was going great, he even used his earned money to buy a brand new gaming pc, similar to mine, i even got to play with him a few times when i wasn't studying or playing with my online friends (which they helped me a lot with my mental issues on my lowest points, i love them so much), and he was understanding that money was hard-earned and that he would need to be careful in how and when to use it
In mid 2022, i discovered something really disturbing for me on his Steam friends chat, he was asking for items and money for male players and requesting weird pic for female players, i have to emphasize weird, it was nothing explicitly sexual -at least i don't want to think that way- he was asking for pictures of said females blowing balloons, and leaving creepy messages like he REALLY wanted to, i took him and asked wtf was these messages and he started crying, i told him i wouldn't tell anyone if he promised he would never do it again, that he would say sorry to everyone in that chat and that he would delete all of his steam friends except the ones from school or else i would punch the shit out of him and bring him to the carabineros (police in Chile), he told me that he promised, fortunately, he still has yet to break this promise. Later that month my mom pushed my brother to go to a equine therapy foundation near my house, where he can learn to mount a horse and do some exercises with him at the exchanche of food for the horses and donations
After i discovered his messages, his anger issues became more severe, my grandpa and his constant screams and curses (typical for a "huaso" or countryman in Chile), he adopted a lot of those characteristics when he gets mad at us, since then i started to ignore him and not to speak to him, not only to get some peace but also to try to forget those disgusting messages that i saw, after a while, he started to ask me for forgiveness via WhatsApp and notes around my room, after 2 months i did forgive him but then he again was so angry that he tried to throw a punch at me so i ignored him again.
At the start of the year, my mom got the idea that my brother should get a horse with the money that he was saving so he could do therapy on the house too, my dad and i weren't to keen on the idea, because he wouldn't take proper care of the horse, hell, we didn't even know how to take care of a horse, my mom didn't care at all of our opinions and my brother bought the horse from a contact from my mom, it is a beautiful horse, super cute and all but i say that i didn't want anything at all with him and that my brother should be the one who takes care of the horse and not anyone but him, the horse couldn't be mounted because of a bad leg, at the moment that my brother bought it they put anesthetics so we wouldn't notice how bad was it until it was too late ( in case someone doesn't know, a horse with a bad leg is useless for anything, causes pain in the horse and cause a severe accident for anyone who mounts it, i think it even causes depression on the horse and can cause suicide tendencies or something like that) since then my brother didn't care at all for the horse and sometimes he even let it loose, my mom who got attached to the horse is the only one who takes care of it.
We noticed too that my brother was buying stuff again with stolen money, this time was on the times that he was sent to buy sodas, cigars and food at the minimarket nearby, buying stuff like facial creams, some weird colognes and expensive shampoos, but because my grandpa is a nice dude he just laughed it off even though he was angry that he wasted his money like that.
My mom its now on vacation with my grandma on the beach so there is no one taking care of the horse except my brother, yesterday my aunt's house was completely done, so my uncles came today to the house to have lunch and celebrate that the house was done, after that, we went outside to talk on the breeze of the afternoon while drinking some beers and soda (i don't drink since i hate the flavor of alcohol), when my brother got bored and went inside my aunt took her phone and showed my father messages of my brother asking things to her, my grandpa told that he was asking today for money to my other aunt, clothes and a tablet to an uncle and more stuff to other family members, i was disappointed once more because he was once more falling in the same hole with just a day without a job. It was getting late so my grandpa stood up and went to tell my brother that he should take the horse inside the improvised stable, half an hour later he went cursing along the way, once he finished he rushed inside, the horse then started to move in circles, he does that when he didn't get his routine walk around the house, my uncle went to check the horse and found out that my brother didn't leave any water for the horse for i don't know how long (the thing where the horse drink its n old bathtub and it was empty), the stable was semi-open and that he didn't take it for a walk, i felt sorry for the horse so me and my cousin went to take a walk with the horse to my aunt house and then i went back alone, when i was near the stable i took a good look of the horse face and started crying.
I went inside and found my brother in his pc, i went near him and i asked "Do you really want that horse?" he started screaming angrily at me so i scream him back "Do you really want that horse?", he stood up and tried to punch me but i hold his arm with my left hand and punch him with the right in the face, then he stood up in shock because i never punched him so hard and he tried to punch me again in which i dropped him to the bed with my fist on the air not to punch him again but to make him recoil, then my dad and my grandpa entered the room to separate us, i went to my room with my dad and started crying again.
I hated that i punched him, every time that he tried to punch me i just hold his arm in the air and try to drop him to the ground so he can't do anything to me while not doing any harm to him, but now i just punched him, i feel pretty bad, he doesn't even know how to fight, i had a talk with my dad and he wasn't even mad with me, i don't even know how bad the punch was since i haven't left my room since, i wish i could have my brother back when he wasn't like this, i really miss him.
Sorry i went too long telling all my story with my brother but i felt like it needed context before i post that i hit my brother with Asperger in the face, im also sorry for the broken english .
TL;DR: My brother with Asperger got addicted to buying things and gambling, and he has increasing angry issues, i found some creepy messages in steam of my brother asking for weird stuff to female players, my mom convinced him to buy a horse for his therapy, the horse had a bad leg and my brother loose interest, he didn't take care for the horse for i don't know how much, i got really sad and confronted him , he tried to punch me so i responded, now i feel horrible.
| 1 |
I can't escape the feeling that I'm approaching the end of my life.
|
It's like I know I'm coming up on my last day. I don't want to die, I thought I had a pretty good handle over my emotions but some events this week have showed me that I don't, at least not as good as I thought. I can feel the end of my life approaching, like an overwhelming gut feeling. I'm pretty certain it'll either be by my own hand or by the consequences of my reckless behaviors, but I'm not ready for it. I've made peace with that feeling, I'm just not ready to go yet. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone. It doesn't even really make sense to me.
| 1 |
I Think I Have Become Clinically Insane. #HELP
|
I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know how to regain my sanity. 7 - 8 months ago this all started. And I slowly fell deeper and deeper. I tried mental health facilities. Tried therapy. Just tried an Ayahuasca retreat which I feel made me 100x worse and ruined me more. Why did I put all that in my brain? Why did I expose myself to that? What did it do to me? My brain chemistry feels fried. I haven’t slept in over 10 days. Not even a high dose of seroquel was able to knock me into sleep. I can’t explain what I’m experiencing or even going through. I’m staying at my sisters in Philly and we’re aware that if I don’t figure this out I may have to live in a psych ward for the rest of my life. I am not doing anything to change or fix things. I am just in my thoughts. Chronic stress is what led me here. I am broken from reality. I don’t have control over anything in my life. I don’t even have the words to describe to you guys what the issue is to even be able to help you guys help me. I just know I am not well. I have lost sense of reality. I see other people and they are here. In reality. They have a sense of self / identity. They know why they’re alive. Even a homeless person or someone with nothing seems more in touch with reality than I am. I don’t know how to explain it. Everyone says I need to “get better”’in order to be able to do things but I don’t know how to get better. My mind is lost. Maybe if you ask me something I can better explain what I’m experiencing? I don’t know how to explain it. My mine is broken. The loss of my life and reality was too overwhelming for me to compute and handle. I have lost sight of reality. I see people walking around me right now and are they the aliens or me? Can I ever be normal again? Can I ever regain my sanity? Am I sick forever? What steps do I need to do? How can 1 regain consciousness of what life is? I’m not making sense guys. I have lost it. I am scared.
| 4 |
Depression
|
I am depressed . Please help
| 2 |
mental help
|
r/MentalHealthSupport I constantly feel alone and without friends anyone want to be a virtual friend?
| 2 |
Lightheaded on Prozac ?
|
I’ve been on Lexapro, the Zoloft now Prozac in the last month and a half. I have been on the Prozac for about 2 weeks and I have almost constant lightheaded-ness. I went the the ER and everything was fine but is this normal and did others experience this? If so how long should this last? Not so fun.
Thanks!
| 1 |
Feeling displaced
|
I am writing this thread not because of me but actually my girlfriend...
She says she lives life feeling misplaced, as if she isn't living real life and I'm the only person that makes her feel real. This is great but right now I'm finishing my degree in another country so I can't be around and whenever we move in together this year I will also be unable to always be around...
I am creating this thread to ask if anyone can help me understand what I can do about this situation or understand how she feels and can help me understand what this feeling is.
If anyone has a name for this I'd also appreciate it so I can read more on the subject!
| 1 |
(Dissertation Study) Theoretical Framework on Suicide (UK 18+)
|
Hello, it would be of great help for our dissertation if you can complete the survey! **Anyone aged 18 years or older living in the UK** can take part irrespective of whether you have experienced suicidal thoughts/behaviours in the past or not.
We are currently recruiting participants for a study aimed at exploring experiences related to emotional attitudes, different thinking and personality styles, and experiences of suicidal thinking and self-harm.
To view more information about the study please click on the following link: **https://strathbusiness.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_ex5stDjOGWdc3ae**
| 1 |
6+ years of "roleplaying"
|
Hello all!
I have been living a split life since i was around 13 years old. This may have been happening since an earlier age, but i feel the line of maladaptive day dreaming and normal daydreaming is blurred for me.
It started out as climbing into my bed for the night. My mother would enter my room and set down the glass of water she always brings for me, she would pull the bed sheet over me. my mother would sit on my bed asking about my day. She was invested in hearing about how school was treating me, I would have full drawn out, in detail conversations with her. She would smile and i would laugh as i could feel her kiss me on the cheek. I would wipe it away just for her to say "hey silly! dont wipe my kiss off" in a caring way. She would tuck me in once more and wish me a goodnight, turn off my light and shut my door. . . . . . I would roll over and look at my clock and realize that it was 2am . I had not slept, i had simply been staring at the ceiling "roleplaying" both my role and my mothers role. This exact roleplay still happens years later.
For a long time my "roleplaying" would only happen in the privacy of my own bed and home. Now i have noticed the "roleplaying" happening inside of my head out in public. Sometimes there is a great divide between the "roleplay" moments and the "real life" moments. However recently, I will simultaneously be me AND also the inner character that i am "roleplaying". Does this make sense?
Example. Checking into a real life doctors appointment. I will be standing at the front counter receiving the clipboard of paperwork i need to fill out. BUT there is also the sensation that i am a 6 year old standing hip level beside my own body. I will sit down in the waiting room but also feel the 6 year old me skipping to the chair and ploping down into the seat beside me. As i am sitting there, i look around. when i spot the kids toys in the corner i can feel the "roleplay" want to creep out. I may see/feel the 6 year old tug at my shirt and asking me if she can play. In my head i tell her no. Maybe the 6 year old gets upset. I imagine that the front desk worker calls over to her and offers her stickers. Sometimes the 6 year old is myself, other times i am the caretaker of the 6 year old.
Example 2. I will be boarding a bus in real life. I walk down the isles and i am a teenager and the bus is a transfer bus. I dont know where i am headed, but i do know im being transferred from my foster home to other home. I have an escort sitting beside me. I may see the person beside me have no emotion. I will sit in my seat, head on the window. I will have flashback of memories from my "roleplay" past life. Maybe i get emotional as i am worried what the future will hold. Sometimes i will cry in the real life over my "roleplay" character.
The weird part is, I have never been displaced from my home. I have never been in foster care. I actually had a very stable and loving home life growing up. no trauma or abuse.
When at home, the emotions that come with these characters are much more visible. I will cry,laugh,struggle,smile with no restraint. Some of my stories have some intense childhood abuse. I will go to lengths to "set the scene" by mentally "attaching" restraints to my arms and legs. Some "scenes" an adult will pull me off my bed by my hair. I will literally grab and yank my own hair and cause myself pain. I have also put a pillow over my face to make breathing hard because the other character is trying to kill me. Sometimes i find myself simultaneously playing both/all of the characters. I rapid switch my emotions from crying and freaking out as one character , to being annoyed and laughing as the other character.
Most of the time i am just laying motionless looking at the wall.
I feel like in the past i was able to keep these two instances apart. I would only let the
"roleplaying" happen when i allow. Now it seems to sneak into my everyday motions.
For example in real life i got ready for work and as i was about to walk out the door i turned around to go find and kiss my cats goodbye. As i walked down my hall i was myself but also simultaneously a child still asleep in my bed. I pushed open my bedroom door and saw my cat but simultaneously i could see the child in my head. I pulled the blanket off my cats face and gave her a smooch on the top of her head. All at once i felt like i was yanked back into my "roleplay". I was the child and i felt the kiss. I opened my eyes and saw myself as a motherly figure. It was a very bad feeling. I felt like the child looking at myself, the adult who gave the kiss, and i could also see my cat. It took me a while to shake the feeling. It was like an intruder of a "roleplay"
Recently i have been hearing one of my male characters speak very clearly to me when i am not purposefully "roleplaying". His voice makes me jump as i am not expecting it. Sometimes he is telling me to "Get out of bed" in a abrupt demanding tone. another time he me to "put paper towels on the grocery list".
its been really interesting watching this all progress. years ago it seemed so innocent and now i feel like i am going insane
Im sure i am leaving out so much information. I could go on and on about my experiences and the feelings. I have never told anyone about this, I figure Reddit would be a good place to start
| 2 |
I ruined my life by drinking and not addressing my mental illness sooner
|
Had the opportunity of a lifetime. In last year of medical school. But I have been an alcoholic for years to self medicate my OCD. Brother committed suicide a year and a half ago. This came to a head last October when I was hospitalized after a period of heavy drinking for low electrolytes. Since then I’ve felt completely awful, heart rate spiking out of control, testosterone/libido wrecked, liver pain, faintness with walking.
I know my drinking has caused this. I have seen two GI docs for liver concerns who have both told me they don’t think it’s my liver but I’ve looked at my ultrasound/CT pictures myself and I see what looks like to me signs of fibrosis/cirrhosis and I’m convinced the radiologist overlooked it. I am currently spiraling. Girlfriend left me. Family thinks I’m being psychotic over my liver and think my symptoms are in my head (I know they’re not). I hate myself. If I would’ve just stopped drinking earlier in my life and got treatment for my OCD sooner I could have such a good life. Now I’m non-functional, might have to drop out of medical school, and paralyzed by the fear of having cirrhosis and dying.
I want my old life back. I want my health back. I’m never going to enjoy what I used to do again, like skiing, fishing, being a doctor. I lost a woman who I loved. I hate myself. I don’t want to die
| 1 |
I need to talk to someone please
|
My anxiety is acting up because I saw a topic pop up on Reddit today along with me worried about going bald. I know, this is stupid but I could use someone to talk to until I can get my anxiety under control.
| 2 |
anyone want to pm i feel so alone in my feelings and idk what to do!!!
|
i think im depressed i also cut my self and i have insomnia (its 3am) i am 14 years old and i feel like shit i feel like everyone is out there doing fun teen shit and im in my room. ofc i do crazy teen shit i do it alot but i get so tired and overstimulated! i pretend like everything is fine ofc bc i hate charing my emotions but my head wont stfu.
| 2 |
Felt alone all my life.
|
Hello guys . Im mexican. Always been different to others. I liked to watch science documentals, bad to lie, very smart and loved weird things. Web developer (good at it), pianist and keyboardist. Rock music lover
In some sense never was a problem. I had a lot of friends in my teenage years because i consider myself charismatic in some weird sense. But the values i had and preferences were completely different. I never felt happy doing activities most people do (Dancing, singing ballads) and even if i get along well with most people because im gentle and authentic, is hard to get deep relationships where there is trust from both sides.
Thats the other point. I see all my fellows get a girlfriend. Seems so easy to do!. But i try to make conversations (nothing weird, really), flirting, no flirting, and a lot of different strategies and simply doesnt work. Girls have other interests and points os view than mine. And im not ugly. I consider myself handsome in fact.
So i feel extremely sad when i see all my friends with other person. And myself finding imposible to find a person or a circle where i feel i belong.
Sorry if this feels too edgy. Just it sucks to see everyone can have something i dont.
| 2 |
my uncle committed suicide few days ago
|
my uncle (who was close to me) killed himself due to gambling issues and was found today. now my family is heartbroken and my grandma blames herself for not lenting him some money to pay all his debts. i feel so miserable, helpless and a little bit angry because of my uncle’s coward and selfishness. can you guys give us some advice to get over this situation? (especially my cousins and my grandma, it must be really hard for them to suddenly lose a father and a son)
| 3 |
anyone want to talk to me
| null | 3 |
Mental health tied to physical health?
|
I have extreme fear of vomiting, of any illness that even vaguely affects my stomach, so of course I have celiacs and GERD🫠 but anyway when I even vaguely feel something wrong with my stomach I stop eating entirely. Now i have severe crippling health OCD, anxiety, depression and I am medicated but it’s so bad my blood pressure raises, my weight is constantly dropping or rising based off of how I even feel, sometimes I start abusing pills again to get high due to it? Is it possible for my mental and physical health to be that deeply intwined with each other? How does one go about talking to any mental health professionals about that?
| 1 |
physical reactions to internal thought
|
Hi, a lot of times throughout the day I think of something "bad" or cringey I have done, like something I have said in the past. And it causes an uncontrollable physical reaction, even when I am in public. For example, I'll roll my eyes, cover my mouth with my hand, or my body will just shutter. Occasionally, I will start to respond to my thought verbally and then realize I am talking out loud but that doesn't happen as often. I was just wondering why this happens because I'm noticing it is happening a bit more.
​
​
Also, I've never used Reddit so sorry if this is the incorrect way
| 2 |
psychiatrist vs therapy opinions?
|
These last few years for me have been pretty rough, mom passed, had a kid with my gf, and her and I weren't ready in any way (as a relationship, financially, career-wise)
I've moved away from a city in Florida to get away and experience something new to a much more rural north PA (not being used to the cold at all) where she's originally from so I could develop a relationship with her family for a year and then move back to Florida. I don't have any friends or social life because I only work and my gf only has a couple of good friends. I found out she's been seeing someone else since December and lied to me about it constantly when I called her out. I've been just numbing myself whenever we fought and just trying to move past but with everything that's happened I feel like I did it to the point where I have a dissociation disorder. I've never really dealt with a bad mental state I've had a pretty good easy life. I blame myself a lot for not being in a better position at 24 with a kid even tho I shouldn't I know that. I feel like I'm aware of my feeling of not being all here but I'm not doing better I try to brush things off and move on. I feel like I'm on autopilot going through the motion of things. I should be enjoying the time I get with my baby but I want to give her more the only way I do that is to pick myself up but I feel like I won't have the time to be successful in a career and spend more time with my daughter. My head Is just filled with conflicting thoughts between one thing and another. I've only recently learned what disassociation is and I've never had any solid ground to know what's wrong with me. My gf told me to get therapy and I should have been but in my head, it just slipped by. I couldn't commit, I am serious about it this time, I don't want to feel like this all the time I didn't notice how much weight I gained over the year until last month. I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself (I keep up with my looks and am groomed lol) but it's the most an odd feeling. I just wanted to get other opinions on if I should see a therapist or psychologist.
| 1 |
I broke up 3 weeks ago and idk what's going in with life
|
You maybe remember my first text in here it was about 3 weeks ago. Basically that text was me crying for my ex to be honest I still really miss him and want to go back in time so I can be with him. But I can say I slowly move on. I take big steps and try to take myself off things that reminds me of him like the past 2 weeks I find myself doing hw while listening to music and dancing. But still I find myself remembering all the great times we had together and sometimes cry myself to bed. I know progress isn't always as a straight line but I try really hard. I almost feel tired. Also from my nature I am a very revengeable person. And I want some how to make him mad or angry so he can talk to me. Or make him sad. Idk why I feel like that I totally not hate him and never will just like he does to me but I do want to take revenge for he made me go through. I just want him to be like, damn I should have really be together with her. Even after we broke up some hours later he texted me "you're a beautiful person, and I'd absolutely want to be with you for the rest of my life but your mental health keeps me down and I have problems as well"... I do understand that he had his problems but for fucks shake we were a couple he knew he could have told me every. He had told me many personal things( not gonna lie he had a super hard childhood). So rn idk what to do try and make him jealous so I can please myself? Leave it like that and wait until he texts? Forget him afsp? I'm so confused and I'm trying to find a new bf so I can fulfill my needs from a man...
| 2 |
lol
|
im so lonely
| 1 |
Feeling completely alone lately
|
Working 40-50 hour weeks in crappy degrading jobs. I’m technically unskilled and never finished secondary school, so it’s all I’ve got right now. Current friends aren’t very good at being there for me or checking in, the ones that do that live abroad and I never see them. Family lives across the country - people keep dying that I never got to say goodbye to properly. I moved away to make a life for myself and now it feels like I’m barely even alive.
I’ve got a partner but our relationship is far from comforting right now as we both have similar work hours, we have different love languages and honestly we don’t have a lot to give each other right now. It’s been so bad that our intimacy has changed and feels unfamiliar. We keep talking about the changes and are always unable to make them because of work .We can’t afford to stop.
Every day since my grandmother died I worry my mom will kill herself. Emotionally we’ve not been able to be close because of her PTSD and our differences in feelings-expression. She feels like her life is over because it’s been so long and difficult already (she’s a trauma dungeon of horrifying stories, she’s just sad and tired of living)
I know it’s selfish and she deserves peace however she can get it, but I want her to stay and be my mom even though she doesn’t want to be anyone anymore. I want her to be alive and fucking like it. I’ve always wanted things from my mother that she couldn’t give me and I guess that’s one of them.
I don’t know what to do to fix my life. It’s going nowhere and I don’t know what I want . Sometimes I just feel too ugly to go anywhere or see anyone. How do other people cope?
| 2 |
A lost 22 years old
|
Hello everyone!
I want to keep this straight and direct, i am 22 years old, i am quite successful in Academics ( i am currently doing masters in medical Engineering), i have a good job, i have very few friends( am thankful they exist), i do a lot of sports ( i am not necessairly handsome or athletic looking but i slowly accepted my looks), yet i have never been this depressed in my life, i am trying my absolute best to socialize and get out more but it feels as if everything is just turning away from me, i have never been sucessful in finding some one to love and it came back to hurt me a lot now, i have been raised to just trust my dad who told me one day it will just come naturally yet i don't even know how i will start a convesation yet alone keep it going, i do feel like an introvert but i am also trying really hard to just find people i can talk with, i started to blame this city since the only people i see are elderly and kids around, it feels like hell for me as a student. Its been like this for a long time now, i had very few exceptions of social interactions but they always ended up some how in a bad way. This is now the hardest part: i have tried to end my life once around 2 months ago, when i got rejected by a girl, since then i got some help at the beginning, and i really thought things were going in a better direction, i know i am not going to do this ever again but i also feel like i will always be alone and just never see myself happy, again i know i am not suicidal anymore ( i have the view that i will just die one day some how and everything will finally end, this makes me really relaxed) but i am extremely depressed and just confused. I am thinking about changing the city after finishing my study and this the only thing i can be hopeful about. Currently am trying to get into my old habits of just playing a lot of video games, it feels inevitable.. any help advide suggestion or comment is very much appreciated, sorry if i took too long
| 3 |
How to move on
|
How to get used to thought and feeling that my childhood needs won't be met. That I won't get that selfless love. That that is not possible and never will. How to deal with it even that I want it so badly it's the only thing I want now in my life? How to move on? How to understand that's not possible and don't give yourself hope anymore?
| 4 |
why does nobody talk about how shitty being 20 is?
|
I 20 (F) , am a college student and i constantly look for validation, i took on a job and im pretty happy about it but i also am occuppying an ungrateful and really wreck nerving position (im a student representative) and i feel like everything i do is stupid and i feel worthless and sometimes i just want everything to stop. I don't want to kill myself but being alive is so difficult. If i don't achieve anything i feel worthless and when i try to acheive something im always on the verge of a burn-out. I just want to know who i am and love myself for that. The fact that i'm aware of this vicious cycle im in makes me feel even more pathetic. I would give anything to be as talented as some of the kids in my school, they know what they're good or they're passionate about something or they simply don't mind living a normal life. I want to be recognized, i want to be popular, to feel loved by everyone. I want to acheive great things, i want ppl to remember me as someone who was once great. And now that im writing it i see how pathetic and narcissistic this sounds. I want to stop crying because i hate myself, i don't even hate myself i just feel mediocre. I just got out of a relationship and i never felt this much pain. I just sometimes wish i could talk to my future self just to know where im going, not even that, just to know if the mistakes i make are worth it, i want to know if im not wasting my life, if i will eventually find happiness
| 2 |
I find it so hard to feel loved :(
|
Even with relationships whether friends, family or a romantic partner except for a few times I always feel unloved. If I’m in a relationship and we’re hugging, and I’m getting verbal reinforcement etc. then I feel loved, otherwise I don’t. I know my mum loves me a lot, but it doesn’t feel like enough for some reason and I don’t think my dad loves me properly, my older brother is autistic and doesn’t show love, I have a hard time connecting with friends and romantic relationships are only good some of the time for making me not feel alone.
I’ve recently started getting some symptoms of depersonalisation / dissociation and that only makes things worse, as sometimes reality doesn’t even feel real. Worst of all, I find it so incredibly difficult loving myself.
I did LSD about 6 months ago and that got me out of my daily suicidal thoughts, but I still struggle with loving myself and feeling depressed. When I trip I normally get great insights into what I could do to improve my life and I love myself more, but when I sober up and my ego kicks back in full gear my self-hatred kicks back in and I’m too demotivated to make changes.
Does anyone relate or know what may be causing this / ways to fix this?
| 2 |
Nightmares and night sweats
|
I also have ptsd but these aren’t ptsd nightmares they are anxiety nightmares and I’m essentially waking up in a swimming pool most days. Does anyone else get terrifying nightmares where all your friends abandon you and then wake up with you and your bed drenched in sweat? How do you stop them? I wake up and my clothes and bed are literally wet from it. What can I do?
*i am on sertraline (i believe it’s called Zoloft in America) is it caused by that? *
| 1 |
anyone to listen my about my fucked up life
| null | 2 |
venting my pain
|
I don't know if it's okay to post this, please delete it if it's not right with the rules.
I don't know what to say right now... I've been complaining for so long about the pain I feel physically and emotionally. I think I'm going through a psychosis or something wild mentally. I've been having suicidal ideation for years now, i can't remember when it started. But what I want to get off my chest is that I'm addicted to pornography. I was born and identity as male right now. I'm also gay unfortunately. I've never learned to accept or love myself at all. I thought I was made for my parents benefit and that was okay. I was born with brain damage, AVM, and I didn't expect to live into my adult life. Not what the doctors said but I assumed. Now I'm at a point where I'm ready to give it all up. I want to give up just like my parents and sibling did. I live with the 3 of them, and our lives are getting worse. I've thought about suicide so much, but I realize I cannot go through with it unless I'm so angry and sad I can't think. I haven't gotten that far. But I don't want to change anymore. I have no will to fight. I was only interested in pornography and that was getting so fucking bad. I've never been able to accept being gay and SEX still feels like a straight person thing, like I shouldn't think about men because I cannot have sex with men. Period. I'm an ugly fag who can't socialize for shit. I can't have friends and never a partner. And I won't have a family who supports me. I HAVE to support them or die. I feel so codependent on they're shitting lifestyle, i never want to leave my parents house. I never want to start any doctors appointments, I don't want medication and therapy, I just want to feel like a normal straight man or a normal straight woman. I hate sexuality, I'll never be useful or worthy of loving myself fully. I hate being gay, I hate being a man, I hate my body, I hate people, I hate this world. It's so fucking unfair that Americans are brainwashed into being distracted by celebrities and social media and other shit. Now we can't do anything for ourselves. It feels so bleak to hold on for nothing. I don't want to hold on for my family, people at work, my pets, this world. It feels fuckkng worthless. I'm so sorry to anyone who reads this. I doubt anyone will. But I just have to tell someone.... I'm giving up on this worthless boy who could never treat himself right, I want to end my suffering so bad.
| 3 |
Wanted to share with someone
|
I'm 21(M). I used to excel at academics before coming to college. But, lately I'm not able to perform well due to procrastination and overthinking. I feel that others, who were behind me academically are doing lot better than I am and honestly that makes me feel jealous. Also, I am not very outgoing person so I don't like to talk to people about my problems and that makes me want to change myself.
I don't know if all this makes any sense. Just wanted to share it with someone.
| 7 |
I am addicted to being addicted. How do I go about solving this?
|
There are many things I want to learn and do that genuenly interest me but every time I have some free time I can't help but fill it with something completely useless. It's always some short-lived interest like some game, manga, sometimes sport (playing and watching) etc that I think about every. free. minute.
​
​
​
Oh and it's not just free time. Every free minute at work I think about said short lived, useless interests. My thoughts dont look like "Family, working out, girlfriend, partying and friends, work, studying, creative ideas" they're more like "game A, game A, game A, game A, game A, everything else for a minute, movie B, movie B, movie B, movie B, movie B".
​
​
​
I feel like my brain is dying out, specifically my creativity. It's always dedicated to one sort of thought. I am scared of what's to come if this continutes. I feel it how I become more and more of a shallow person every day.
| 1 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.