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I've decided not to have kids
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Its something I've wanted my entire life; so this has been a heart breaking decision. But these days there's no way I can handle it. I forget where I am sometimes, my brain will randomly stop processing thoughts altogether, I get thrown into flashbacks, I'm irritable, and get depressed and anxious extremely easily.
I promised myself I wouldn't become my mother and I plan on it staying that way
| 1 |
help me
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First off im just gonna say that english is my second language. Lately i’ve been feeling so alone. A couple days ago my bf broke up with me. i’ve never felt so empty in my life. i’ve been dealing with depression since 2020, i’ve done so many things to help me “cope”. sadly that ended me in the hospital. ever since i left the hospital i’ve jus felt so down and empty. i don’t know who to tell cus no one knows how it feeling. not too long ago my parents found my empty carts, i tried telling them that stopped smoking. some things led to another and my mom told me that i should just kill myself. tbh i never expected that from my own mother. the woman who raised me. the next day she just acted like nothing happened. it pisses me off so much, and the fact that she doesn’t know how it feels to be depressed and having suicide always on ur mind just breaks me. my bf broke up with me before that all happened, the worst part is i couldn’t even tell him what’s going on. he told me he loved me the night before we broke up. he told me he wasn’t going anywhere. why? why did u lie to me? i trusted him with my whole life, i told him things i couldn’t tell anyone else about. the fact that he’s doing alright without me just breaks my heart. i miss him so much i cant even explain it. i just wish he never lost feelings for me, maybe everything would have felt better. i mean at least i didn’t relapse, right? his little sister texted me if i was doing alright, i’ve never wanted to cry so much in my life before. just even typing all of this makes my throat tight, like i’m choking. i don’t wanna let him go, i just cant. all the memories we had, now you wanna let all of that go?! i cant live with the fact he’s gone. and ik people are gonna be saying “you’ll get over it” or “you’ll find someone better” but no, i wanted to be with him and him only. i really don’t know what to do. i also found someone so amazing, and i don’t wanna fuck up things with him. also i don’t wanna hear things like “take some time to get over the relationship” or something. that’s the last thing i wanna hear right now.
| 1 |
Partner needs help
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My partner, 36, has suffered from mental illness for a long time. He is currently in therapy but not on any medication. Out of nowhere 2 weeks ago, he moved out of our shared apartment, saying he needed time to figure out how to be on his own. Since then, he has gotten worse. He's suffering from horrible burn out from his job. He's struggling financially. He's isolated himself stating that he needs to learn to not depend on anyone. I believe he adds unnecessary hardship to himself as a form of self punishment (i.e. moving out of our shared apartment, causing extra financial strain). He is a good man. He has nothing to punish himself for. I'm not a professional, but I believe he as a severe anxiety disorder and ADHD. He's mistrusting of doctors due to being overmedicated in the past and ignoring him when he said something was not working. He was hospitalized for a week a few months ago and he was doing much better for a while. He's just been spiraling for the last few months, and I don't know how to help him. I don't know how to make him believe that he deserves good things and that he is a good man. He deserves to be loved and supported. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.
| 3 |
Information about unspecified mood disorder?
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Long post ahead, bare with me. 24F here, and i was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (closer to social anxiety IMO) quite a few years ago and major depressive disorder a couple years ago. Bipolar disorder runs in my family in addition to anxiety and depression.
I’ve been on several different medications that just don’t seem to do the trick. Either it helps with one thing or the other, or makes it worse (bupropion gave me pretty bad suicidal thoughts for the first time, as an example).
These last couple years I’ve had strange, almost sporadic ups and downs in my mood. My therapist who I have been with for 2-3 years now has witnessed it and thinks it could be an unspecified mood disorder.
I’ll go through mood shifts of depressive states versus “okay” states sometimes multiple times a day. On average, I’d say a good mood versus depressed mood lasts a day or two at a time. Sometimes more or less. I never experience mania, but I will sometimes have high energy and feel compelled to do absolutely everything on my to do list with great determination and utmost joy lmao, but never have had true mania.
With bipolar disorder running in my family, I was curious to know if it was cyclothmia. However, my psychiatrist says it’s just depression (I’m also almost 5 months postpartum, so could be a bit PPD at this point too). Honestly considering getting a new psychiatrist as the one I have has been dismissing my intense mood changes :/ my therapist definitely thinks it’s more than depression.
Any thoughts? Anyone experiencing anything similar? Thanks :)
| 1 |
How to protect yourself against toxic people / energy vampires?
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Ok so for some background my mom has told me that she wishes I was never born and other stuff like calling me a psychopath for smiling weird, comparing me to jeffrey dahmer because I wanted to try the turkeys organs on thanksgiving, and has even called me crazy because I told her I have social anxiety. She also has driven her whole family away, except me, because I’m underage. Now, she’s even harder on me than ever, to the point I’ve almost taken my life.
I’ve tried grey rock, I’ve tired ignoring, and I’ve tried to try and get her therapy (she has a lot of childhood trauma, and it’s one of the main issues, she always screams at me about how easy I have it.) however she always explodes and starts screaming.
Any advice?
| 1 |
Seperation anxiety is fun...
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Just here to vent again. Reddit is becoming my venting space. But if you had some advice on how to handle my emotions better I'd appreciate it. So I know the best man in this world I'm extremely in love with him and he really is the most amazing person I've met. But last few days there has been a lot going on in both of our lives and we haven't been able to talk much actually 2 days not at all. Before this I was in an extremely toxic and abusive relationship and he has healed me so much he doesn't even know... I can tell he isn't feeling well and I want to be there for him but he asked for space (which he has never really done or rarely) I respect it i really do but it is hard to deal with my own emotions too (I've been having a really really though few weeks before this). I really hate to think he doesn't like me anymore or he finds me annoying and a lot more extremely negative thoughts. I know he has stuff to do and he is struggling himself I completely understand but it's so hard... He normally reassures me every single day but since we haven't talked it's been though on my own. Even when I do reach out I don't get a reply for hours and hours he says he is sleeping which I belive even with my trust issues but it still doesn't feel the best you know. I am on hard medication for my chronic illness so I have to eat something to take pills and it's been really hard to eat drink or do anything to be honest. 2 days seemed like an absolute eternity... I miss him so much and I love him with all my heart.. I really hope you are ok love.
Edit: he said his attitude is not good and he doesn't want me to be around right now because it not good for me...
| 1 |
helppp!
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As a 24-year-old turning 25 this year, I find myself feeling stuck in life. I recently discovered that the career I have been pursuing is not one that I truly want. I made the decision to quit my job as a Behavior Technician and pursue a marketing job, preferably one that allows me to work remotely. My hope is that a remote job will provide me with the flexibility to complete my MBA program. I am in need of help, either through a mentor or some guidance on my career path. While I know that I have my whole life ahead of me and am still young, I am eager to have my feet on the ground and start working toward my future goals. I have big aspirations, but in order to achieve them, I need to gain experience and explore other areas that I haven't yet had the chance to explore. I have only worked in schools or as a kid's therapist, and the experience has left me feeling drained.
| 1 |
Suizid
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Ich kenne meine Freundin nun seit 2 Jahren. Wir kennen einander besser als jeder andere. Sie ist seit mehreren Jahren Depressiv , hat Selbstmordgedanken und bereits einen Versuch hinter sich. Sie hat gesagt ich helfe ihr zwar , jedoch habe ich nicht das Gefühl sie vertraut mir. Sie will mit mir nicht über solche Themen sprechen , doch wenn wir es nicht tun habe ich Angst sie kommt auf gewisse Gedanken. Sie stößt mich immer weiter ab , sie will dass ich sie hasse da es dann leichter für sie seie sich zu töten. Ich brauche Hilfe , ich mache mir Sorgen. Wir haben schon einmal geredet und ihre größte Angst liegt in der Schule. Sie schreibt nächste Woche eine Arbeit, jedoch sagt sie sie möchte sich davor dass Leben nehmen da sie sich Dumm fühlt wenn sie eine schlechte Note schreibt. Sie weigert sich dass ihr jemand hilft, und ihre Eltern hasst sie sowieso. Ich habe schon mit jemandem darüber gesprochen aber sie konnten mir nicht weiterhelfen. Ich brauche Hilfe , sonst verliere ich sie für immer.
(Wir sind beide Jugendliche)
| 1 |
i don‘t even want to get better anymore. i‘m done.
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my face dysmorphia has been so strong the last couple days. after it’s been relatively under control in the last months, i can‘t look at myself in the mirror anymore and my depression is rapidly increasing. on top i have to deal with anorexia, ocpd and possibly (c)ptsd, that my psychiatrist just brought up. and my (sort of but not really, because discontinued) suicide attempt, that happened 17 days ago. i’m so close to attempting again and pulling through this time. i have lost all hope…and i‘m not even afraid of the pain of dying anymore. i don‘t even want to heal, i just wanna die. i‘m not gonna continue therapy and i‘m not gonna go to my psychiatrist appointments anymore. this is it, i‘m done.
| 4 |
I’m ok, just experienced an attempt suicide.
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Over the weekend while scrolling on FB. I randomly commented on a buddies post. He calls me thru messenger and sends me his actual number. 7 am he calls me saying he didn’t want to be here anymore. Im like work? He’s like no here on earth. The noose is ready I’m ready… Then gurgling , choking sounds. I called people that live closed to him and they asked if I were high because I’m a recovering addict. My buddy is ok, I’m alright I can still here the gurgling, choking sounds. I’m still kind of hurt by both especially the “are you high”.
Sorry, i just needed to get this off my chest
| 8 |
How do you get motivated?
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I want to tidy my room, shower, brush my teeth, workout more, and eat healthier but I just can’t. Every time I plan to I just slump into my desk and don’t get up till I have to go to bed, I’m seeing my boyfriend soon and I’m sick of myself and I want to have my dream body.
I’ve just cut it down to me being lazy at this point but I don’t even know anymore my minds blank and I have 0 motivation, pls help.
| 6 |
The day you die everyone is your best friend
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Nothing annoys me more than this.. I have seen people I know pass away and the amount of comments and posts about them on Facebook is quite shocking really when you consider where was these people when they was alive? One example of this is a 21 year old woman I knew who committed suicide, after she died she was praised “oh she was the nicest girl ever” “she would do anything for anyone” “such a friendly person” yeah so much so you didn’t bother her when she was here.. she had commented depressing posts on her Facebook many times and none of those people bothered then.. even her own boyfriend didn’t seem to care much when she was alive but wasn’t long making it more about him when she died… I wonder if these people use their former friends death for a few likes or they realise it is too late now for them to bother to check in or care for these people, just because we aren’t kids anymore doesn’t mean we don’t need friends or support we need them more than ever.. our families or people we are forced to work with shouldn’t be the only people we talk to. How many strangers will talk of me when I die saying how much they liked me.. yeah I’m sure you did…
| 3 |
My depression and social anxiety has gotten so bad
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I’ve slowly lost friendships and now find myself doing nothing all the time. I’m so stressed out and I feel like no one understands. Is my life over if i feel like i have no friends?
| 5 |
I feel numb/ anxious toward/ repulsed by my partner when there’s conflict?
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Tl;dr
When unpleasant things happen, I feel numb, anxious and/or repulsed by my partner whom I love and treasure very much, and have a very strong healthy relationship with. I cannot find anything about this phenomenon. Any help would be very much appreciated<3
I [25F] love my partner[23F] to death, they are the light of my life, my sunshine and guiding moonlight, my best friend, my everything, and the best possible thing I could’ve ever asked for or dreamt of. We are in a very happy, stable, healthy relationship.
Before we get into the problem, there are a couple factors to take note of.
Firstly, we are LDR(I live in Singapore and they live in the USA, California), we met online near the end of 2021 and we met up in person for the very first time last year in November and it was absolutely wonderful, the happiest 2 weeks of my life.
Secondly, I live in a pretty awful household. I’ve been severely emotionally abused and neglected my entire life and my family is the bane of my existence. I was also severely bullied growing up. I think I’d just sort of gone numb as a coping mechanism, at some point in my life I even experienced a couple months of depersonalisation/ derealisation during highschool. Right before I met my partner, I had just broken out of a 4 year depression period and was finally getting treated for adhd in hopes that I could get my life together. I was… extremely numb at that point, and I could almost feel my brain melting. Despite being numb, it scared me so much it’s what prompted me to see a psychiatrist. It was only last year where I’ve been able to realise the extent of my mental illness. Later on I started getting treated for anxiety and depression as well.
So! Around two months in of being with my partner, some family issues flared up and I was on the receiving end of one of my sister’s worst emotional outbursts. I didn’t think much of it, in the moment I reacted calmly. But I remember feeling extremely nauseous and anxious that night. The next day when I video called my partner, as we do, I noticed I was a little repulsed by them? Which was weird but my initial reaction was to brush it off however the feeling just kept growing stronger. They didn’t do anything different or anything, just looking at them filled me with what I can only describe as pure utter repulsion. Which is a complete utter 180 of the usual warmth and love I feel for them.
I spent the whole week bawling and inconsolable, not understanding and bewildered why I was repulsed by the love of my life. In the end I stayed at my friends place for 3 days to get away from my family and limited time with my partner to reduce the feeling of repulsion. I had very clearly communicated the situation to my partner who was extremely understanding, concerned and sympathetic but was unable to do anything, especially being the subject of my repulsion. After 2 weeks the the feeling slowly started to subside and I was able to feel my whole feelings of warmth and love for them again.
I’ve searched high and low on the internet but I cannot find anything about this phenomenon. Why is it directed at my partner, my favourite person in the world? Why not literally anyone else?🥲
Of course I knew there was always a possibility this might happen again but yet I was kinda caught off guard. A week ago my partner and I had a serious discussion after 2 weeks of them being away on a work trip and unable to call. It was over something we have discussed before and it’s something that can’t really be helped due to the distance and time difference of 16 hours, but nonetheless we both end up tearful and just… sad due to the circumstances.
Over the next few days I realised I was feeling numb and more baffling, anxious (but not repulsed) around my partner. Which has never happened before. They have always been my biggest comfort. The anxiety especially flares up when they mention things like our future visits or our hypothetical wedding and future house together. Usually I love discussing these things, and it makes me very happy knowing our future together is something we both think about. But currently they just fill me with anxiety and dread. I have since communicated all this to my partner and we have decided not to touch on those topics until further notice. They have been extremely sweet and supportive, and despite me being scared and confused I can’t feel my love for them, they have been extremely optimistic and confidant about my feelings for them. Which helps a little. At least someone knows how I really feel I suppose :’)) Since this isn’t their first rodeo they’re not scared and confused like last time, just sweet and supportive.
I don’t understand what happened, it’s not like we’ve never discussed serious before. We have very open and radical communication and honesty. So I fail to understand what triggered this bout of… whatever this is.:(
I’m panicking, I don’t know what to do. My partner is an amazing, wonderful person and aside from the inner daily inner turmoil and frustration, I also hate to put them through this. I miss them too, and I just… don’t understand why I feel this way or why this is happening. I’m scared. I don’t want to feel this way, I don’t want to lose them, I can’t help but feel they deserve someone who won’t go through this bouts of not even knowing how or why they feel a certain way. Is this normal? Am I doomed to periods like this for the rest of my life? Is this abnormal? Should I continue this relationship? If my brain self sabotaging?? Why is it targeting the best thing in my life?? Does it think it’s too good to be true?? I don’t want to hurt my partner😭😭
If you’ve reached the end, thank you. This is certainly quite the long read😅 I appreciate you getting this far and if you have any advice or similar experiences, please enlighten me I’d be ever so grateful to learn from them.<3
| 1 |
Am I behind in life?
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Is it bad that i’m 24, still living at home and have been struggling and not having any direction? The last few months have been so hard on me. My depression has gotten worse, I’m on meds. I’ve stopped trying to connect with friends and now I feel lonelier than ever. I feel completely worthless. I keep hoping and praying that things will change and one day it will be better. It’s been such a struggle lately and I feel like i can’t move forward because I’m so fucking hard on myself for not doing anything productive lately and feeling like I’ve wasted my early twenties on depression PLEASE HELP
| 5 |
Toxic dream
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So, constantly I've been getting a dream about my recent toxic ex assaulting my sister and some of my close friends, it's so uncomfortable after I woke up, and recently have been cutting off toxic friends as well, and I don't want any of my few close friends to get near to my ex, don't want to lose any of them cause it's been eating up my mental health, just felt like sharing it and wonder if any of you guys have faced the same. Honestly, these kinds of dreams are disgusting and toxic.
| 1 |
Fluoxetine 20mg
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So i’m starting on 20mg of fluoxetine and i just wanted to know what kind of side effects i should expect and realistically if it’ll help me (because my doctors can be wrong sometimes too so i want to see other personal experiences). I have taken 10mg of fluoxetine before in 2019 for about 6 weeks, i had anxiety and situational depression back then and the medication was for my anxiety at the time but it just made the depression i had significantly worse; i was feeling dull and like “meh” often and had suicidal thoughts i didn’t really think about before, overall it was making me so much more worse than when i started so i stopped taking them cold turkey. fast forward a few years and lots of trauma and life happening, i am probably in the worst headspace of my entire life right now and i have been diagnosed with MDD (major depressive disorder), GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), and possible bipolar disorder, the fluoxetine is prescribed right now to help with the MDD and GAD. I find myself dissociating a lot and my moods are super unstable (i go back and forth a lot and get mad very easily and much more), i also have a lot of suicidal thoughts without any meds (don’t have any plans don’t worry) and i self harm whenever i feel like i have no control in my life which happens a lot, my intrusive thoughts are eating at me, i have nightmares every single night, my mind is truly my biggest enemy right now and it makes living every day exhausting. So now with all this background info lol i just want to know if going on 20mg of fluoxetine would actually help me right now in my life (i should also note i’m on 25mg of quetiapine right now as well for my anxiety).
| 1 |
mental health e-books
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mental health e-books 💛⭐️
https://littlemhbooks.etsy.com
| 0 |
I am fucking sick of life (TW suicide, eating disorder and self harm)
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​
I am fucking sick of life, anywhere i go i am called a goth/catcalled and or stared at. i have a eating disorder (no one knows) and i sometimes starve myself but i dont anymore even tho i struggled and last night my papa called me a fatty for no reason, he was eating dinner and he said "I should stop eating so im not like you" and i said "what do you mean?" and he said " you are a fatty" i had to go to the toilet because i was crying sm, my nana never done anything about it and i told my auntie and she laughed. In school theres this one boy called Jayden and he tells me to cut myself and kms even tho i told him it makes me really sad and uncomfortable, i really want to tell someone but i feel like they are going to think im a attention seeking or sm. i go to therapy and whenever she asks if i would ever hurt myself or kill myself i always no but i want to tell her i sometimes hurt myself an or want to kill myself but i am scared she tells my mum or puts me in a mental hospital, any advice?(btw i am 12)
| 3 |
I feel myself slipping
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I used to struggle with depression when I was younger but I managed to 'fix' myself by being blissfully ignorant and never taking anything seriously. But I feel like I might have a mental breakdown. I've ignored my problems for so long and they're starting to pile up. I'm 18, i am about to finish school and I have no plan for the future. I just don't know if I can hold it together
| 1 |
child struggling
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Our 7 yr old son has always struggled with anxiety, sensory issues, etc.. Our cousin who teaches special needs, children, believes that he may be "gifted" or "neurodivergent" as he is extremely intelligent, has always demonstrated advanced emotional intelligence etc.
But, as he's gotten older, some of these issues are becoming real struggles for him. We pulled him out of school midway through his 2nd grade hoping to "reset" him and get him some help while my wife homeschooled him (she's an ex-teacher with a master's in childhood education).
The problem is we have not been able to find a child psychologist. We just got off the phone with someone who does neuropsychological testing and they have literally a 10-month waitlist. The others we have called are 4-6 months out or not taking new patients or only doing tele help which won't work because he just zones out on zoom.
I had no idea there was such a huge shortage of mental health professionals that deal with children.
We tried two last year but they were just not very good. We live in the country so pretty much anyone we find is automatically an hour drive, which we are willing to do, but not for someone who isn't very experienced or helpful.
We are at a loss. We do our best with our own research and trying to different techniques... I'm teaching him meditation and breathing techniques, my wife is constantly working with his emotional regulation and feelings... but we are not psychologists. We just want to help our son and set him up better with tools for when he goes back to school next year. I'm just very frustrated that there is no one out there (in our area) that can help.
| 1 |
I need to vent
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I know its not a venting page.but i am living in hell.i want to lie down all my life in my bed.cuz i have no one in my life who treated me well.and if i find new people to make friends sometimes i change my real identity to ignore all questions. And at one point i leave them.i dont trust anyone.but i feel i need friend.but i scare they will leave me oneday.so i leave them.
| 2 |
Im extremely scared of death
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(Before begining i want to say english isnt my frist language so im sorry for the misspells and stuff)
Im 16 and im really afraid of death, so much that is becoming a real problem, i get these panic attacks in which i cant stop thinking about my unstoppable death, it feels terrible and im so scared, no matter the way i look at it, i just cant calm down, i frightens me so much, the fact that im going to die and i cant do anything about it, no matter if i live a happy or a sad life, no matter if i dont or do think about death, no matter if i even care about it, i cant stop it, i cant do anything, no one can, ill inevitably die and it just scares me so much, the fact that death is eternal, no life never again, ill never see nice people again, ill never do things i enjoy again, ill never be able to eat delicious food again, ill never experience any kind of feelings, ill never suffer, ill never feel Joy, just nothingness for all eternity, it scares me so bad, i really dont want to die i really dont but begging wont change anything, ill die, and no one can help me, everytime i talk about it with someone they say "but you got a whole life to live before happens" and i know, but as i said it doesnt matter if i live a long or short life my destiny is dying, i really dont want to leave this world, living is so beautiful, i wish i believed in religion then i could live a believeing a lie thinking theres some kind of afterlife, i wouldnt care if i was sent to hell to suffer for all eternity because at least i would feel something, i just dont want to die i really dont and i said this already but i know begging wont save but it gives a fake sense of hope.
My elders say i will get tired of living when i grow up and that i will want to die, it sounds good but im scared that ill still want to live, even happiness has a down side and its the worst of all, this fear, this pain, this feeling its so terrible its so bad i really dont want to leave this world i want to do things i like for all eternity, i want to play games, talk with my loved ones, try bew stuff, and feel forever.
Ive always said that theres always another way to solve problems, the fact that this is the only problem i cant solve is so frustrating.
I cant live like this, ive tried therapy in the past but it didnt do anything, im still afraid.
Please im begging you, can someone tell me something i can do to at least leave this fear behind for good?
| 8 |
What dreams may come.
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Many years ago, I watched the Robin Williams movie "What dreams may come", and I always thought that in part, it was saying heaven will be whatever you want it to be - that each person's heaven is a manifestation of their own imagination. At least this is what I think.
I think about that often. My idea of heaven is a small cottage in the countryside, near a lake with no other houses around. I have my cats and dogs. There are no mosquitos, spiders or moths (the things I don't like). It rains every night from 6pm to 6am.
There is no stress, no noise. Just peace. Silence. Stillness. I am not being pulled in multiple directions as a mother, wife, friend, pet owner and employee.
Sometimes, when my heart and soul ache I feel like I could walk away from it all. Not death, just walk away and become an anonymous nobody..
Sometimes I wish someone could just wipe away part of my brain / memories, so I am not tortured anymore by my past, so that everything I do is not because of the abuse I suffered as the adopted child of a woman with untreated mental health issues..
But in the end, I am always alone and no-one is coming to save me
| 6 |
They took my sister to Mental Hospital
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My sister had a mental breakdown and lost her mind and they ended up admitting her to a mental health hospital. Now we are unable to get any information from them. They say she needs to reach out to us first but we know she is incapable of doing that right now because she wasn’t thinking straight before she went in. I just want to know if she’s getting better!!!
Help?? What’s is your advice
| 1 |
Are there any Isolation/loneliness support groups in the Houston area?
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Hello. I'm a 53 year old single male. I don't have any friends and my family is quite small. My mother died in August and im still helping take care of my father. My brother lives in Southeast Asia, and my sister has her own family. She and I get along fine, but she never comes to see me. I have to go to her house a handful of times each year in order to be around my family. My nephew and I were best friends, but he constantly ghosts me and the only thing I can count on him for is disappointment. Nobody wants to hang out with an older single dude since all of the people I used to be friends with are all married and have their own lives. I find it hard to establish and maintain relationships with other humans. Is there a support group I can go to talk with others that have similar situations in the Houston area?
Thanks in advance
P
| 1 |
I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere
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This will be a bit disorganized, so sorry about that. Also be warned for talking about suicide/depression.
I just feel like I've finally made progress mentally. I used to have a lot of issues, I've attempted suicide 4 times in my life, I used to have panic attacks all the time, and would stay up for days at a time. In short I was depressed, hopeless, and just straight up miserable. And now it feels like everything's different. It's not like I'm happy all the time, or even most of the time, but I finally feel like I'm seeing the world like everyone else does. I get sad but I don't get hopeless. It's been years since I've self harmed or had a panic attack. I honestly feel like I can say I'm no longer depressed. I still have to get my life together, but I feel like it's finally an option and like I can do it.
And it's not like everything's totally fine now. I still get almost too anxious to function when I leave the house, and during the years and years of being depressed all my relationships got either ended or wierd, so there's still a lot to work on. Honestly, objectively speaking my life isn't that great, but relatively speaking it's literally more than I could ever hope for. It's a bit rough but I feel like I'm actually living and like I'm able to deal and cope.
I'm posting this because I don't really have anyone to share with, and I'm just really emotional. Kinda feels like having a good life is just doing mundane things and not wanting to kill yourself. I'm also kinda worried that all this might just be some form of bipolar, and like it could all be undone, and I'm still sad a lot, but right now I'm doing well and it's just shocking. I'm just actually \*ok\* for once, finally.
| 4 |
Questionnaire regarding Mental Health in India
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Hi! Please fill in this short questionnaire on the Right to Mental Health. It won't take more than 10 mins of your time and it will be an immense contribution to the Ph.D. research conducted by Bhumika Modh. Don't forget to pass it on to your contacts! Thanks! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSevPnabfPUneiRtKwF3KeMHuhGXY3b0YOE0nnXZIg2UorDKhQ/viewform](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSevPnabfPUneiRtKwF3KeMHuhGXY3b0YOE0nnXZIg2UorDKhQ/viewform)
| 2 |
My sister with BPD is angry with me
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It’s a long story basically my sister gets into relationships that end up being manipulating, gaslighting, and just bad situations. My bpdSister has been in many relationships just like this one she’s in right now, and after always picking up the pieces I am finally like okay can we just talk, I just want to talk about how this man literally disrespected you twice already and you’re still going to be with him? And they’re not minor. These are two huge red flags that should’ve been left at the first one. She’s mad at me, from me trying to talk turned into a huge fight she hung up on me and just basically is accusing me of being against her. We hang out every Thursday, and I didn’t want to hit her up last Thursday I wanted her to hit me up because I’m always seeking her out I’m definitely trauma bonded there’s been a lot I’ve gone through being with her and I love her so much. She never hits me up and finally that night I called her to ask her how she’s doing and just mentioned she never called or texted me. She just screamed at me that I didn’t call her or text her and that Thursdays are our days, which they are but I was leaving the ball in her court and she never showed up even though I always show up for her. Her bf then texted me saying how I’m hiding something and to act like a sister, he’s manipulating her so hard. And she just screams at me for watching out and caring, so I just couldn’t handle it anymore I just ended up blocking her and I’ve just been so sad.. there’s no talking it just always turns into a fight. So I guess this is it
| 2 |
How does people thinking bad things about mental health problems make it harder for those who have them? and how can we reduce that negative stigma?
| null | 4 |
I (21F) feel jealous and a loser whenever someone I know excel at something
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I am diagnosed with MDD and this feeling is not helping me.
I can't help but feel depressed. Everytime I fail to achieve the highest place or score, I get this unbearable feeling that I am useless. Maybe this is because of how I was wired. Like I was only given attention by my parents when I excel, but I want to get rid of it. I am having a hard time doing it. Lately, it's uncontrollable. It's an ugly emotion to have. Ugh
| 1 |
Looking for advice
|
Ive been struggling recently with my outlook on life and myself.
I cant say im happy with any aspect of my life. Im 21 years old. I haven’t had a girlfriend for roughly 5 years, im not good looking in fact im overweight, i dont have money, i have a job from 8am to 8pm and im average at best at everything.
I genuinely cant find a reason to be happy in life. I feel like my childhood is over and now the rest of my life will be working miserable jobs with fleeting moments of happiness between.
My childhood consisted of my mum dating asshole men who would mistreat us during or after the relationship. I moved house roughly 13 times between the ages if 4 and 15.
I just need something to keep going for and i know it isnt myself.
| 4 |
How does people thinking bad things about mental health problems make it harder for those who have them? And how can we reduce that negative stigma?
| null | 3 |
I dunno-venting?
|
My mental health (depression & anxiety) are effecting my work, my relationships and even my physical health. I do therapy and take my medication. I’ve been trying so hard for so long and it can seem unsustainable. Everything, even the smallest tasks, seems so daunting and difficult. I’m worried I’m going to get fired for missing work or permanently damage precious relationships. I would never hurt myself, as I’ve seen first-hand the ripple effects of suicide. What do I do?
| 2 |
This is for a research project: How does negative stigma affect mental health issues?
|
How can we as a community raise awareness about the harmful impact of negative stigma on mental health, and what steps can we take to reduce and ultimately eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health issues in order to promote a culture of acceptance, understanding, and support?
| 3 |
Just Do It
|
It gets redundant.
So make fun of the redundancy.
They can no longer critic.
You used their criticism creatively.
It buys you longevity.
They can enjoy it for a lifetime.
You made lemonade off lemons.
And the demon will no longer haunt.
Would this be a good animation?
An animation that would be a competition.
A competition that would enjoy longevity.
How long does the longevity last?
Does it end with death?
Is Permanency its synonym?
The earlier episodes will always be overshadowed.
Outshining them never achieved.
So how do we proceed?
Do we heed the critics?
Do we restructure the initial roadmap?
Do we revamp the initial contract?
Do we abandon the project?
Do we venture into the non fungibles collectibles?
It will always get harder.
That is the curse of perfectionism.
You will criticize even your best works.
You might never release that album.
You might never release that episode.
You might never release that book.
You might never release that project.
Just release it.
He said,“ you never know who it helps. ”
Saves from self harm.
Motivates to be a you.
To be like you.
Art, 😞.
[poem On Medium ](https://link.medium.com/Fxjrk9zhbyb)
| 1 |
i got a good night's sleep!
|
i got a good sleep for the first time in weeks- 10:30 pm to 6 am. i feel rested. i ate breakfast and refilled my meds for the week and made a phone call about insurance. i don't have to work until 2 pm so i'm lying in my bed listening to music under blankets while i wake up some more, then i'm gonna go clean the kitchen when i don't have to worry about waking my family. i'm so comfortable right now. my fiance will wake up and text me soon. i actually have time to do things today, i didn't stay up worrying until 4 am and wake up at noon just to go to work and then come home and worry until i have to go to bed. i've got 5 and a half whole hours to do whatever i want. i'm so happy :)
| 19 |
Quick discussion
|
I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls I’m in your walls
| 1 |
whats it called when you forget things because they are painful
|
thanks tc
i can mask really well
| 1 |
Struggling with addiction and boredom
|
Ive been finding myself doing things like vaping and smoking and I want to quit. I do this stuff because my life just seems so boring like a never ending loop. I want to add excitement into my life but there’s no other way I can think of besides doing things like vapes. My “friends” don’t give a shit and have no interest in me or my life anymore and they treat my like shit. They yell at me for doing nothing wrong, they make fun of me because no boys in school have a crush on me (“just because no guy loves you doesn’t mean everything is a red flag”- my “friend” after I was trying to give her solicited relationship help) on top of that none of them struggle with vaping, substances, etc so they dont really get it. I would drop them but I just get so lonely too since I don’t have much loving family, like I previously said I don’t have a boyfriend (the only boyfriend I have ever had cheated on me) so I’m just alone and I’ve been feeling bored and empty for months now, which probably sparked my addiction . Ik it’s not withdrawal because I’ve been bored for so long now. I feel like I’ve tried everything in the book, being kinder, working out, going outside, praying etc but nothing works. I just want to feel happy and fulfilled again. Does anyone have any tips?
(Edit: this kinda became a vent lmao sorry)
| 1 |
years of emotional pain
|
Basically I taught myself to program in late 2012.
I put all my work into my microsd card. I would program almost if not every single day.
It got corrupted around May 2015.
Immensely devastating.
I held onto hope for repair as my coping mechanism.
In Early 2018 my idiot brother destroyed my side of our room when he got mad.
Left it for weeks. I left it hoping my parents would properly discipline and to not let him just get away with this.
My mom eventually cleaned the room. She took the opportunity to throw out stuff that she thought was trash.
Once it was sad and done my microsd card is missing and I have absolutely no clue where it is. Probably in the garbage system somewhere.
The room after cleaning had a bag of paper (I did game design on paper as well as other things I would write over my high school experience. I graduated HS in 2017)
A couple months ago I realized that my bag of papers was gone.
At some point my other brother and/or my mom must of threw it out cleaning MY side of the room without my permission, consent or even notifying me.
I think about my card daily and the loss is immensely painful. lol my indie games , apps and such I made. It feels like I lost myself. I tried so hard to set myself up for starting adulthood to right and lost it all.
Now I'm 24, broke, no girlfriend, struggling, and very upset and angry. This was not supposed to happen.
I am still very angry and I am in absolute disbelief. Disbelief I trusted my family to discipline my brother. Disappointed I wasn't able to fight the pain enough at the time to clean the room myself so my mother wouldn't throw stuff out (I deliberately told her NOT to), and that my dad completely failed in discipline as well. Also how my other brother would get in the way when it was time for me too deliver some accountability.
If I'm not thinking about the microsd card, then I am thinking about my papers. If not that then my first laptop I got around like 2010 (I had filled with videos and such I made in Windows Movie Maker and filmed with the webcam) that I told my parents to make sure it was NOT WIPED. Instead they trusted the idiot "repair" man on the phone who subsequently wiped my pcs hard drive. If not that I'm thinking about my flash drive I lost on the last day of school that had important life videos and such on it and backups of my website projects.
I am just devastated and even though this isn't like a person died it still feels super painful for me.
I just don't know what to do. I feel so miserable.
| 1 |
Avoiding job offer due to anxiety
|
have anxiety that flares up under certain circumstances. I was diagnosed with PTSD years back but have felt pretty good for many years UNTIL I was asked to do a live scan for a job working at a school. I was not expecting this as it was not in the job description nor was I told over the initial phone conversation or emails.
I had legal problems about 20 yrs ago when I was really young, nothing bad some misdemeanors and 1 felony. I was super young and it got blown out if proportion because my parents are nuts and i had an informant EX who tried to put me in jail after I left him...long story but I went through about 10yrs of hell due to these stupid cased which I could've pled out to probation and been done but my family is nuts...did some stupid crap long story
I haven't had any legal problems since and it's been almost 15years since cases were settled. I thought I had worked through my anxiety now its back full force. Anything related to court, police etc, sets me off but this time it's like back to square 1.
My live scan should be clear. I don't Think those cases will show up. I read 10yrs maximum. I've done normal background checks didn't have anxiety and passed but this love scan has me full of anxiety
Like I feel like it's some way for then to track me or idk just a bad feeling .
I've had this a couple times, once I had to go to court for a traffic ticket and after I was like ok I got worked up over nothing but I can't seem to bring myself to do this.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing or should I just let this job go for the sake of my mental health?
| 1 |
Self-care isn’t selfish
|
Some say self care means selfish, but NOT TRUE! Taking care of yourself means you have the mental energy to take care of others 💜 check my latest blog post on easy self-care ideas - some only take 10 minutes! I also included FREE DOWNLOADABLE pdfs for daily journaling, reflection, and self-care tracking at the bottom of the post! Hope this helps some of you out!
💕[self-care ideas by withlove-cg](https://withlove-cg.com/self-care-ideas-to-integrate-into-your-routine/)
| 1 |
Struggling after leaving my job
|
I quit my job almost 3 weeks ago. I was emotionally and mentally invested in my job. I didn't even realize when i crossed that line of just working and becoming attached to my work. Every job i left in the past, it had no affect on me. I left this job because i was so attached and knew nothing i did would change that as long as i worked there. I believe it started out with having excessive workload and i adjusted to doing everything i could to maintain it. But i don't understand how it got this bad. It feels like i lost a child or like i went through a bad breakup. I am single with no kids and don't have too many hobbies. Just trying to understand why and how my brain developed such an unhealthy attachment. Now i feel empty and void. And like my brain hasn't registered that I'm moving on with my life.
| 1 |
do i have anxiety or am i just stressed? does anybody with diagnosed anxiety feel/have felt the same way as i do?
|
i've always been a worrying and neurotic type of person but recently i've been experiencing physical symptoms. i'm starting to doubt some of my long term thoughts/feelings as well as i think that they might not be as normal as i think they are.
context is i'm a high school senior (f, 18) who broke up with a boyfriend 2 months ago that goes to the same school and keeps coming back to me. he's very angry at me behind my back (he rants about me w my friends) but asked me to be friends and basically begged me to be there for emotional support when he needs it. recently he said he's been having violent thoughts whenever he sees me, and has been telling my friends to block me. anyway that's a whole other story, but essentially i feel really stressed and on-edge near him.
every time he dms me, basically confronting me abt the relationship that ended, i instantly feel a rise in heart rate and start to feel really really cold (esp hands). i also have full body tremors that go on for a solid while (15-30 mins or until i feel less stressed). i also feel really worried and anxious and i would love to ignore him but my mind can't focus on anything else. i also have been having sleep paralysis and i've always suffered from insomnia tbh. when i try too hard to sleep my mind is racing and i see bursts of colors and i feel really active
it's not just his messages that trigger it but i also feel this stressful response before going on stage for performing or before exams, but to a lesser extent. i'm also wondering if it might be social anxiety, as i've always been a shy person but realized that recently it's been preventing me from doing normal things. i've been performing my instrument for most of my life but recently developed stage fright. i also physically cannot use my voice in certain situations like when i want to participate in class. idk i just find it impossible to raise my hand even tho i rly want to. i also find it extremely tiring to hang out with friends so i've been avoiding that. even the idea of going on vacation is not as fun as it should be. when i go on walks outside i feel stressed when a car drives by or if another person walks by. i'm scared for college because i feel like i won't be able to make friends and i'll hate it there.
other potential symptoms that i've had for basically my entire life is picking at my lips until they bleed and also feeling like something bad will happen soon(esp when i'm happy).
any help would be appreciated! feel free to ask me for elaboration bc i know i did a bad job at explaining this...
| 1 |
I can't tell if I'm exaggerating it or not
|
Made this account because google ain't got nothing on this sooo....
Today at school, one of my friends started fake crying as a joke, and we started talking about how many times we've seen each other cry and stuff. And my friend (#1) started talking about how they saw me cry a couple of times. Of course, most often it was because I had been overstimulated because of school and the people in it (I have ASD). (This is mention #1 of my over-stimulation). Later that day I had had stopped talking for awhile because of it. And now cue friend #1 being all up in my space and being loud, I had gotten a little angry at them for not leaving alone while leaving the band classroom, and the friend had said something about me being mean and pissy (I'm usually never angry, but they're always a jerk to everybody).
Found out that friend #1 talked to another friend (#2) about it behind my back and said I was using it as an excuse to act that way, and that I'm over exaggerating it to get sympathy.
I have never really mentioned being overstimulated because I felt as though it was stupid and didn't matter, even though I wanted to cry at school because of it.
I'm not asking for relationship advice, I'm more-so asking for a way not to feel like I'm faking everything, and like my issues don't really matter because my friends have had worse stuff happen to them than I. It's like it's trying to kill me along with my other mental struggles, like it's fighting to find a way for me to just stop talking and stop talking to people because it could make me emotionally vulnerable to a person.
I'm sorry if this is stupid, and if there's a lot of nonsense in here. And if it's not supposed to be here, I'll delete it and go to where people say it should go.
| 1 |
what should i do to feel better ?
|
Hi
I have never posted on reddit, but i need answers. In my school there are Danish students that are staying here for a week, they are leaving in three days, and i have bonded so tightly with them (especially one of them) and they are gonna go. I feel like they are having so much fun in Dannemark,and their presence made me think like the life i had before is just boring compared to the fun they are having. I feel like i don't really belong at my school anymore. I didn't sleep last night thinking "what if my life where different ?" I want to be with them, have fun with them. And when they go, my life is going to seem so blank, like i want to go home with them. It might sound stupid, but i just don't know what to do. I'm afraid my life is going to be without fun, eventless. I just want to cry thinking about it.
What should i do?
| 2 |
Homeless, suffering with mental health issues (cross post for more advice)
|
Hi! I’m 23F currently living in my car with my husband. I feel like I cope and handle it pretty well sometimes but other times I completely break down and just cry in his arms so hard that I can’t breathe. I do suffer several undiagnosed mental health issues for which I’m lucky enough to have a psychiatrist appointment, but not until May. My doctor thinks maybe BPD or Bipolar type 2. I’m posting to ask for any advice on how to cope. I often feel helpless and like there is no point in trying because nothing will ever get better. I have the willpower to not give up, but lack the motivation to help myself often. It’s very overwhelming, and I am very tired.
| 7 |
[Academic] Thesis on Instagram Use, Body Image and Orthorexic Tendencies
|
Hello
I am conducting a study on "Orthorexic tendencies, Social Media and Body Image" The results of this study will be used to fulfill the requirements of my dissertation. So, if you are an Instagram user and have about 10 minutes (at the most) to spare, I would request you to fill in this form. Here’s the link: [https://forms.gle/bkqpEpbHj8aK3v5b6](https://forms.gle/bkqpEpbHj8aK3v5b6)
Thank you so much in advance
Feel free to reach out to me
| 7 |
I dont know it anymore
|
Hi, Im a 18M and in the last 5-6 years of my life i've been so insecure and alone and I just been in a depressive spiral where i cant get out of, no matter what i try.
When i was 1 years old my parents ended their relationship and i experienced lots of fighting between them. My mother stole a lot of money from my hardworking dad and kicked him out of the house. Around that time me and my brother stayed at my mom and my grandmas home with my father. After around 2 years my dad hired a small house.
With all the stress and anger my dad had gotten, he became physically and mostly mentally abusive to me and mainly my brother. My brother is extroverted and was in his early years fat, so that made him a easy person to pick on for kids and mostly my dad. Compared to me i was always a quiet kid that liked minding his own business. My dad at that time was so hurt that he wanted to make us perfect, so we wouldnt make the same mistakes he did. It all came to a point that even making a small mistake of looking weird on the school picture day would make him physically and mentally abusive to us.
Because my brother got most picked on by my dad he started to bully me and have lots of anger issues at school. This started my dad bullying my brother more and more by the years to a point that he would get beaten up almost every night for not being "perfect". This gave me the mindset to always be perfect and to only trust myself. I used gaming as an escape from what all was happening at that time.
When I was 12 years old and just started highschool I moved to my moms house, because i didnt wanna deal with my fathers problems anymore. I was always pretty awkward but still had lots of friends. At that time i started hanging out with toxic people which made me really insecure about myself and i started using gaming as an escape like i always did, but at that point i found out that i could just do nothing else and lock my self up in my room to game. My mom always spoiled me so i didnt see the need to search for a job
Before i knew it I lost most off my friends and spent my whole highschool time being an awkward depressed nerd that only games. I was graduating highschool but then corona hit with the lockdowns which made me stay even more inside than i already did. This is where my depression really got a hold of me even to multiple thoughts of ending it.
Because i played games a lot i decided to start computer science college, which im still doing by the day. In my second year i had to work full time for my internship, with all the stress it had gotten me i started hanging out with old friends from my highschool that smoked weed daily and had no jobs nor school.
I started smoking a lot of weed daily so i would finally have some friends again and handle my anxiety of working 40 hours a week, but now that i look at it it just made everything worse. I started being a person that didnt care anymore, to a point where i would be not even be able to talk to people and showing up high while arriving 2 hours late off my shift. Idk why they didnt fire me but sure i guess....
When that year was over i thought to myself that its time to change. I quit hanging out with those friends, hitting the gym and stopped smoking. This year Ive been spending time alone which has gotten me even more depressed. The only thing im doing now is hitting the gym and playing a lot of games while working 2 jobs.
It has gotten to a point that i find it hard to even talk to people and i just dont know what to do anymore. Recently Ive been researching mental disorders and found out that im likely to be autistic, im about 80% sure because i got all the symptoms.
Normally i dont talk about this sort of stuff this is i think the most open Ive ever been, but recently Ive been feeling getting really depressed again and dont see a way out. Does anyone know what i can do??? Right now im so miserabele where i dont see myself making it pass my 20s.
| 2 |
i feel like my life is over, i don't believe therapy will help
|
female, 31 here
in the past i have had moments of despair but usually i was able to lift myself up by travelling and adopting new habits. all i wanted was some comfort and i got it - and life felt a little more meaningful again. now i see that they were only distractions from the absolute terror of living.
I've become very dissilusioned with life. I can't help but "see through" people and things - but what i see is deterministic, nihilistic, fatalistic. It seems like my life is over. i look at my parents, friends, siblings and i feel so bad. they also exist in this strange realm, making it up as they go or relying on the programs they know - culture, religion, rules, expectations. but none of these programs has any answers. i see sadness underneath the facades.
when i see people who devote their life to an idea, who promote things they believe in, i cannot fathom how they have the energy and will to organize any such thing. i cannot believe people bring children to this world. i just cannot understand.
i don't feel truly close to anybody. my connections with friends and family are tenuous - i can see how none of us really sees each other, we interact with the avatars we ourselves created of others, based on what we assume them to be.
it started with a visceral realization that i am going to age and deteriorate before i die. now i can barely feed myself. i have deep convictions about diet and fitness so these habits are ingrained - i make sure to eat at least once a day and i exercise albeit lethargically to fill the empty hours. i have very little pleasure from humor, music, books - things i normally enjoyed. thinking about my garden, which usually worked as an antidepressant makes me depressed - because in a year another winter will obliterate it once again. riding my bike and looking at the sky doesn't bring me much comfort either - because the world they exist in is so cold and uncaring.
i am living off of my savings and an idea to get a job or even a "project" seems laughable. selling my time to keep on existing on a comfortably numb level. i fantasize about joining some kind of monastery or even army, just so i don't have to think or decide for myself and maybe be useful to others.
today i accidentally dipped my braid in my tea and minutes later i shaved off all my hair. why would i need nice long hair anyway.
i never had any professional help but i already see they won't be able to refute my argument - this world is chaotic and unfathomable and we will die soon. people are like machines running on their programs. all love, friendship, warmth can only distract us for some time.
i can't even imagine any future
| 2 |
Need a help for my examination
|
i dont know why but i feel like i m mentally too weak. This is related to my examination. Even i prepare study hard for my whole semester, i cant ready anything just before exam day. There is 3 day gap in before each of my examination. I have noticed that i cant just study in those days. I feel too feared. I started to cry in those days. I am living far away from my home and i dont even have any friends. I feel so fucked up becaude of this . even i know so much thing about the subject i cant deliver in examintion. My body starts to shiver in exam hall, especially my leg. And these thing happening with me for so long time. but i cant resist now. it is keeping me into depression for my poor performance in exam despite all my hard work. I become too anxious during exam, Does anyone have the same case? is this happening because there is deficiency of some sort of nutrients in my body? Help me out please. Its killing me inside. I dont know whom to share with. I am planning to give up on my studies,
| 3 |
Clinical social worker v. Psychologist for therapy
|
I need to start going to therapy, however it seems impossible to get in anywhere else but lifestance, so I have an appointment in the next few weeks. I’m looking for adult therapy and just to talk through my issues and work on some depression/anxiety. I have an appointment with a clinical social worker, but I’m not familiar with this term. Is it different than a psychologist? Should I avoid? Any input on any of the above would be great.
Thank you!
| 2 |
I need help about compulsive behaviors while quit smoking
|
Hello everyone, I've been trying to quit smoking for a long time, but I have a problem. I need to pray while quitting smoking, I need to take a screenshot of the clock, or I have to say this is my last cigarette, if I don't say so, I believe that the damage caused by smoking will not be healed after quitting smoking. Do you think something like this is true? And how can I quit smoking comfortably without doing these behaviors? So I can't convince myself that if you don't do these things while quitting smoking, I feel like nothing will get better.
| 1 |
Massive drop in motivation - is this just stress, a midlife crisis, burnout, ...? How to deal with it?
|
Hi there and thanks for checking in,
I know below is a wall of text. If you don't want to read all of it, I don't mind. Part of this is me getting stuff out of my system. However, if you can offer a sincere word of advice, I'm all ears.
​
Just one thing: Not too long ago, I used to pump myself up with motivational speakers, hustle culture, manosphere, religious stuff, etc. You probably know the names. Suffice it to say, I'm not open for any of that anymore. And I prefer to keep it that way.
​
My questions:
>!How do I motivate myself to write my thesis? How do I regain enjoyment from the things I like? And how do I accomplish those two things wile I deal with simultaneously trying to 1) support my depressed gf, 2) work at a company that's exploiting me, 3) keep applying for jobs to find an employment, 4) looking for a new apartment, 5) supporting my friends and family?!<
​
TL;DR of my situation:
>!Despite experience with self-organization and how to handle stress in difficult situations, I catch myself procrastinating on an epic scale that is causing me anxiety. Instead of working on my M.A. thesis, which is due in one month, I keep playing video games. I also noticed that I lost interest and can't get any enjoyment from the things I used to love doing. Instead, I keep thinking things to myself like "Where did all my motivation go?", "What's wrong with me?", "Is it me, my circumstances or maybe my partner?", "I'm gonna fail anyway" or "Why do I even bother? I screwed up x years ago and now it's coming back to bite me."!<
>!I'm wondering what exactly this is and what I can do about it in the short run. Because if I ever needed motivation, it's now. In the long run, I hope it gets better, i.e., back to normal, once some of the many problems that bother me are solved. If not, I'm definitely seeing a psychologist.!<
​
My bio:
>!I'm a 34 y/o male, born and living in Germany. I'm the peaceful type of guy who prefers to avoid conflicts. Four years ago, after working for a couple of years both at companies and self-employed, I decided to go back to university and get my master's degree. I'm currently working on my M.A. thesis. My 29 y/o gf and I have been in a relationship for five years, living together for four. Contact with my parents is good and I can talk to them about almost anything. The same goes for my partner, with a few restraints due to her temper. !<
>!Until I was 16 or 17, I wasn't a very outgoing person. When I turned 18, I made an effort to go out more, socialize, etc., and I like to look back and think that I've done a pretty good job at that. I usually enjoy cooking, sports, gaming, reading and spending time with friends and family. Although I'm definitely still a nerd, I'm usually not a shut-in. I usually enjoy trying new things, meeting people, going places. And I used to have no problem motivating myself or speak my mind.!<
​
What I think is dragging me down:
>!The past six to seven years have been an increasingly bumpy ride. About seven years ago, the break-up with my ex and living in suboptimal circumstances gave me depression to a degree that I didn't get out of bed for days. I was eventually dragged out of that slump by two very good friends, one of which ended up becoming my current gf. In the following one or two years, things were going pretty smoothly. Not perfect, but reasonable. Life with my gf in our tiny 50m² apartment was quite nice. We even managed to stick together during the pandemic and supported each other, more than I observed in previous relationships.!<
>!However, the real deal are the past two to three years, with increasing intensity. Here's everything that's gf-related. Please keep in mind these are exclusively (!) the things that bother me. We laugh a lot together. But here's the dirty laundry:!<
* >!For various reasons, my gf has been suffering from depression for years - probably since childhood - but only recently contacted a psychologist for the first time ever. To keep it short, her father was an asshole to begin with and the matrimonial dispute scarred her. Now a similar case in her family is causing her to relive it all over again.!<
* >!Our immediate neighborhood has deteriorated to a degree where my gf says it causes her severe stress. When our neighbors get loud, I sometimes catch my gf shouting and banging her fists against the wall. And since our house isn't soundproof in the slightest, one friend over can be enough.!<
* >!It's not uncommon for her to vent her anger on the nearest person, which is usually me. This has never been physical, but I have left the room or even the apartment a couple of times. Usually, when she's angry abouth something or someone, I get snide remarks. She has acknowledged multiple times that this is not okay and apologized.!<
* >!She also suffers from our living conditions, which she describes as "too small, too loud, stupid neighbors, bad landlord, unreliable public transport". Of course, 50m² didn't suddenly become smaller nor bigger. But the rest has been going from bad to worse over the past half year or so. We discussed whether it would be better to wait till after I finished my degree - which I would have preferred - but she vetoed that "something needs to change right now".!<
* >!She's messy and refuses to acknowledge it. I literally feel like I have to follow her with a mop. She recently excused herself by saying "it's because we have so little room". But I don't see how this applies to multiple candy wrappers on each surface or dirty clothes piling up in each room.!<
* >!Our love life is pretty much non-existent at this point. To make things worse, she once had a nervous breakdown in front of me because of her wanting to sleep with another guy. This was April last year. At that point, I was close to breaking up with her, but we talked about it and gave it another chance.!<
* >!Visiting her mother causes me stress. To give examples, she tells me how to sit or says things like "Did you just grunt when I said that? What's your problem with what I said, hm?" (even though I didn't make a noise) or "I can tell from your face that you don't agree with me". A lot of this, I suck up and I shut up about it. It's obvious that she is also scarred in a way, which is due to both her own upbringing (which she acknowledges) and the legal dispute with her ex-husband.!<
* >!Like I said above, I can't get any enjoyment out of the things I normally love doing. Cooking, sports, reading, taking a walk through nature, ... It's all a mindless drag. I have a vague feeling this may be related to my gf in some way, but I'm really not sure. All I know is, many of the things I enjoy, she finds boring, stupid or upright anxiety-inducing. Cooking? She hates cooking and also dislikes her own body. Dancing? Bringing it up caused her to burst into tears because for her "being feminine equals being weak". Movies I like to watch or games I like to play? Either boring, stupid or both. Going to the sauna? Body issues, plus stupid and boring. Books I like to read? "Why don't you read this book instead? I liked it. You may read your book once you finished this one, haha" ...!<
​
>!And here's everything that's non-gf-related:!<
* >!Things that are obvious causes of stress: the pandemic, social distancing, the ongoing war in Ukraine, rising housing and energy prices.!<
* >!At the office - a PR agency -, work has just been piling up. People keep leaving the company and somebody needs to do their work. Everyone is stressed out. For a while, I liked to play the helper in need and offered a hand, sacrificing time I needed to study to put in more hours at the office. Thankfully, I recently snapped out of it.!<
* >!At the very same company, I was repeatedly told that I'm "a highly valued colleague" and "when you're finished studying, just give us a sign, no formal application necessary". However, I have now officially applied six times and all my applications were turned down for various reasons.!<
* >!My best friend has developed depression due to her own circumstances at work. Since she is also on very good terms with my gf, we have become a sort of adopted family and she comes to us whenever she needs comfort. However, this has turned into a bit of an expectation. Last Christmas, my gf and I were super stressed out helping her mother move. When we decided that we wanted a New Year's Eve just for the two of us, our mutual/my best friend ghosted us for weeks before bursting into tears to tell us "I was THIS close to cancelling our friendship!"!<
* >!Someone I formerly considered a close friend has turned into a conspiracy theorist. He used to send me messages with all kinds ot tin foil hat theories. I tried dealing with him for two months before I told him to only text me if he has anything that's a genuine thought of his own instead of forwarded racist/sexist/conspiratory gibberish.!<
* >!About two months ago, my family and I found out that my aunt's mental and physical health have detereiorated at an unbelievable pace due to alcohol and drug abuse. Apparently, she was doing it for maybe twenty years and it went unnoticed because we're rarely in contact. My mother, whose her sister, is especially worried and partially blames herself.!<
* >!My parents' physical health is also deteriorating. Both are in their mid-60s, but I swear I've seen 80 year olds who are healthier. I'm particularly worried about my father. I'll spare you the details, but I fear he might lose a foot or a leg before too long due to a blood clotting disorder... Mental health is good, though. Since my father retired, the two couldn't be happier. Actually, being with them is when I have some of the best times.!<
* >!For the past two weeks, we've been arguing back and forth with our landlord because the heating system went cold. So we spent the last two weeks without heating and without warm water - on some days, without water, period.!<
​
Like I said, pardon the wall of text. I'm just wondering if I'm burnt out at this point because so many things keep piling up. Still, I need to somehow motivate myself to get through this thesis... Passing is all I need, it doesn't have to be with flying colors. Then a job, a semblance of a steady income, a bigger apartment, and then maybe some things will fall into place.
​
Thanks again if you read through all of that. And double thank you if you can offer a sincere word of advice. If you find it's not my fault, hearing that is also much appreciated.
| 1 |
I'm just tired
|
I want to give up so bad, I really do. I've been surviving in my hell of a head for my children. If it weren't for them I would have been gone long ago.
I'm just going through too much at once. If I even begun to explain all the bad karma and unfortunate events I've went through recently people would think I'm making it up.
But what's really been the trigger is
I lost my last surviving grandparent last week. She was my absolute rock. 😔 may she rest in peace.💔 I'm having a terrible time navigating my grief. As I could not say goodbye.
My Relationship has been struggling and even more so after hearing of my grandma passing. I felt/ feel my SO did a shitty job of being my support system. Which has led to arguments. And him putting the blame on me.
All I want to do is lay in bed and let the depression just completely take over. I'm tired of fighting everything.
| 2 |
When two very important friends in my life fight with each other and grow apart, what should I do?
| null | 1 |
I have a god demn nervousis
|
I have 15 different homework Wich needs to be done and I just want to talk to someone without leaving my studying/working space and I need someone who will talk to me on a daily basis
| 1 |
Anxiety coping tools
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My counselor has suggested I come up with some tools/activities I can practice throughout the day to keep my anxiety under controlled. Things I can do in between tasks at work, at home, before work, when I wake up/before bed, etc
Things like doodle or color or listen to music. I’m not an artistic person so what are some suggestions of things you find help keep you mindful or ground your emotions? TIA
| 1 |
A question?
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Why does my mind make these thoughts of cheating in an exam even though I do not want to do it? I keep driving these thoughts away from my mind but it keeps coming back. Are these considered intrusive thoughts? How do I deal with them?
| 2 |
Clueless (TW)
|
I don’t know what I want. I want love. I want to be happy, successful. I wanna be that “one girl,” not the “druggie.” I try so hard to make everyone happy, I try to show it too.
I can’t help but feel this way. Self-doubt. Thoughts of sh. I get it, im not mentally stabled. I stopped sh for a certain person, I wish they were still here.
Maybe one day we’ll meet again.
| 1 |
How do you stay on a Plateau?
|
So, after a pretty rough winter dealing with depression, things have actually been going well. I feel like I'm as stable and functioning as I can be. The thing is, I can't help but thinking that another crash is right around the corner. There isn't even anything in particular that I'm worried about, just that I know from experience that there is always a crash after I spend some time at the top.
So, how do you actually stay up here on the Plateau? How can I avoid the next crash? Of is that just part of this diagnosis and something in will have to live with?
| 1 |
How to get over imposter syndrome?
|
I would like to sell my art on some platform or whatever, but I keep delaying it cause I have a big case of imposter syndrome. I just don't feel like it's good enough to sell or do something with it, so I just keep it to myself, while getting internally frustrated that I'm not aiming higher and putting myself out there.
How do I get past this mental block?
| 2 |
Grieving and depressed
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Hi everyone, my grandmother recently died and it’s triggered my depression that was at bay for a while beforehand. I’m back to sleeping too much or too little and isolating myself indoors on most days. It’s hard to find the motivation to work or socialize. Mostly, the pain feels unbearable at times and I’m not sure how to cope with it. I’m a comedian and I haven’t found joy in that. There’s nothing funny about this so the one thing that would always give me joy is diminished. I feel scared that I’ll never get out of this. I feel scared that I’ve lost myself through this grief. Everything feels hard. What do I do to feel normal again? How do I accept and tolerated or better yet, embrace the pain? Is that possible? I feel like it’s hard to find people who want to listen because it’s sad.
| 1 |
I'm ashamed of feeling the way I feel and talking about it to others... Please help
|
I haven't been on social media for over 2 years and recently started using it again. When I checked, a lot of friends unfollowed me. I guess they moved on or must be upset with me, and I completely understand both. Because I'm upset with myself my whole life.
As I live abroad and alone, it's been two years that I don't talk to my old friends and dear relatives. I have this habit of secluding myself every time my depression, anxiety, and PTSD get worse. Because I'm so tired of explaining to people over and over why I'm acting so unbalanced or sensitive or disconnected. Also because I don't want to be that person that only takes from others, but can't give back.
Recently there's this battle in my mind where I really want to reach out. I love and miss them, and it hurts my heart to think they're not in my life anymore. And it's all my fault. But I'm ashamed of being such a terrible friend/relative that ghosts everyone. It feels like I just keep digging this hole deeper and deeper.
I want to connect again, but don't know how to. I don't want to give excuses of why I was gone - that's what I've done my whole life because of my mental health crisis, and it's exhausting. I also don't know if they all hate me and don't wanna know about me anymore. What should I do???
| 2 |
request for help
|
hi
i need some support from a mental health professional. can someone please direct me to the right person. i am unable to message the mods personally
thanks
| 1 |
Hello, I am a college student who is currently doing a survey on environmental factors and psychological well-being of an individual.
|
https://forms.gle/3huGVKJi1nE3Gm2m8
Please fill this form, it's safe and clean.
| 1 |
Just Venting✨️
|
Im really starting to hit that wall. I have been in therapy for almost 2 years and was seen by the psychologist once to confirm PTSD with depression and anxiety. Was put on hydroxyzine that literally just makes me sleep. Having an almost 3 year old, full-time college, and full-time job as a care giver isnt safe to take. She never scheduled a follow-up appointment, and therapy isn't helping at this point because nothing can be done about the situation that's causing the PTSD.
Homework and classes are becoming a struggle, having the mental to split my time so my kid has her activities during the week. I'm literally just wanting to scream. Im overwhelmed, and my brain isn't connecting.
| 3 |
Helping others
|
has given me the strength to walk towards the next sunrise.
However far down you may feel, however helpless you may think you are to change your own life circumstances, never underestimate your ability to make someone else's life better.
I no longer care for my own hurt, I only care about when I can care for the next person and I have never felt more alive.
| 1 |
I just feel hopeless
|
Things are going good for me. My grades are good. I have friends. But I still feel so empty. I just feel alone. If anyone wants to talk than feel free to message me. I just feel like lying down and never speaking or standing up again. I wish I had the strength to kill myself.
| 3 |
I’m so tired and could use a genuine advice
|
Hi,I’m 17 and been through stuff…I grew up with abuse from siblings and my mom ran away from dad so my father figures were my older brother and my sweet gramps…we moved away and I got heavily bullied and been SA multiple times,I’ve been to therapists and psychiatrists as well as psychologists and all have said the same thing and then prescribe me meds which help for a short period of time but then I get used to them…my gramps also recently died….it crushed me,I’ve always looked up to that sweet old man and loved him with all my heart,he was my only safe space someone to call my home…I feel lost and lonely.it’s not like I’m really alone…my mother and my boyfriend keep me company every day…I don’t have friends either…no one cares unless I text them first ….I feel almost empty but so hurt at the same time.I’ve ditched my hobbies and stopped caring about life altogether.in the past 4 years there’s been many suicide attempts and not going to lie I’m tempted again…I’m scared.I’ve been hearing stuff and also seeing stuff others can’t,I’m going insane…when I talk to someone about this they answer with “just wait,your time for happiness will come”or the “it’s going to get better”…I don’t feel good while sleeping anymore and I’ve ditched food too…I eat to survive…can I even get better at this point????im in so much pain
| 5 |
Advice On Orthorexia Nervosa And Body Image Issues?
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Tomorrow (3/14) is my birthday, and I’ve struggled with body image issues most of my life. I told myself today after work that I would take it easy and have a rest day. Afterall, it’s my special day tomorrow. I’m usually spinning away on an indoor bike trainer or running outside each and every night. At one point I was 5’8, 210lbs. I’m now 5’10, 142lbs and in the best shape of my life. But none of that accomplishment bears any weight, because a once healthy habit has turned into a nightmare. I don’t allow myself to eat without “earning” my meals by burning calories, and if I don’t “earn” it, feel an insane amount of guilt that’s nearly led me to voluntarily purging the contents of my stomach. Also, all the foods/snacks I once enjoyed when I was younger, I now shun and avoid completely, aka “impure” foods (in my mind).
It’s definitely getting worse, and the constant obsession is spiralling outwards each day. It’s all I think about, and has impacted my quality of life immensely. I could really use any advice on the initial baby steps to repairing my relationship with food and/or athleticisim, and removing the idea that taking one easy day is going to reverse all of my progress. Thank you.
| 2 |
Random massive adrenaline rushes
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I’m super depressed but sometimes I get extra depressed for like a few weeks and then when I come out of it I get these huuuge adrenaline rushes and I feel like my heart is literally going to explode. It’s exactly what doing too much coke feels like if u know what that’s like. I start shaking and sweating profusely all over my body and I feel like I’m literally going insane. It only lasts ab an hour or two but it’s extremely intense and it kinda scares me. Does anybody know what this is or why it happens in these weird patterns?
I’ve never been diagnosed with anything because I grew up in a very religious household where you go to god instead of a therapist. I’m sure I have something but I can’t afford health insurance, let alone a psychiatrist.
| 1 |
just here to vent
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(TW - depression, anxiety, hallucinations, etc.)
Im 18 yo f.
So I started getting professional mental health help last year when (I think I have been suffering with mental health problems since middle school basically very long time ago) I was also diagnosed with crohn's disease (IBD). At first the mental help was a psychologist? Basically I only got to talk but never got any pills. It took almost a year for me to get an appointment at and actual therapist (that could prescribe me pills) this was highly and I mean highly recommended by my psychologist. But from where I am from these things take actual ages... I was at the therapist once and she "diagnosed" me with depression and anxiety disorder so far. I am waiting to get more appointments where I can actually be prescribed and further diagnosed. I was getting better at some point I'd like to belive but it's just all coming back it's too overwhelming. Besides I am off school because of my chronic disease (school from home only this year because I am at the worse stages still and taking hard medication every few hours) I am expected to make it this year and I've only just started getting grades (whooping 3 grades) and there is only 3 months left. Lately I've been getting more and more anxious and had a severe panic attack last night which included delusions hallucinations and just anything bad you can think off. It lasted about 3+ hours before I contacted a friend. They were able to somewhat calm me down but I'm not ok at all. I get smaller panic attacks throughout the day and paranoia and am scared to try and sleep since that happened last night so I am having anxiety about having anxiety. If you are thinking "get professional help" I am litterary trying but it takes ages when I do look for it...thank you for reading <3
| 5 |
my son is 20 years old and we have been trying to fight depression for 4 years without success. Does anyone have any indication of the best psychologists and psychiatrists in the USA (any state). I would like to recommend professionals who really made a difference in your lives.
| null | 4 |
mental illness makes me want to punch things
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Idk if this really goes here but I'm hoping someone can relate.
I get depressed to the point that I hate everything and everyone and I just want to like punch a wall (kinda like a highschool boy who's angry , 😅). But during my depression days it's out of anger at myself and to make me feel something. And I get mad at myself cause I'm aware of how I'm feeling and can't snap out of it so I'd rather cause myself some sort of pain than feeling just empty and zombie like. And when those days come I know I'm just going to get worse.
But what's worse for me is the good days where I know it's a good day and I know it's going to snap and go bad. But I get so much energy but I have no love for anything and I have nothing to do so I'm bored which pisses me off and I just want to hit something to ruin my mood cause If I'm in pain I'm no longer happy so it's easier to deal with.
Idk if anyone can relate but like any advise or anything? My therapist said I should try kick boxing or something in those lines but it's just not the same feeling I'm after. Idk.
| 2 |
how do i know when it’s time to increase my dosage?
|
hello. i’m 21F, and i’ve been taking escitalopram 5mg for close to 3 years. i’ve definitely had some inconsistencies, like being unable to get to the doctor to be prescribed refills due to not having insurance for a while, or just forgetting to take them/refill them. however, i’ve been taking them consistently for a few months now, and it just doesn’t work like it use to. i find myself getting incredibly anxious over the dumbest things, and every time i’m alone i’m hit with a brutal wave of depression. should i ask my doctor to try 10mg? or should i ask to be our back on anti-anxiety meds? i was on 25mg of hydroxyzine for a while. my anxiety is intense and exhausting..
| 2 |
Wellbutrin has made my mental health so much worse.. I just want this to end
|
Started taking Wellbutrin a bit over a week ago. I’ve been experiencing extreme dissociation, mood swings, crying spells, racing thoughts, increased anxiety, insomnia.
I feel so terrible right now and don’t want to do. I hate this medication but I’m scared to stop taking it because I don’t want to cause any further harm to myself or risk making my situation worse. I have been crying all day and everything feels so hopeless. I just want this to end.
| 3 |
Stupid stupid anxiety
|
I hate this, this is so stupid why am I getting anxious from texting, deadass shaking bro.
Just ranting, you can rant too if you want.
| 3 |
mom and dad have always been close knit but having serious family problems, does my dad have schizophrenia? or are me and my mom in the wrong.seriously affecting my mental health
|
let me set the record straight for you, and try to answer some questions that i think people might ask. a couple of my elementary school teachers recommended to my parents to have me screened for anxiety, but we never did anything. in high school, anxiety in general has gotten slowly worse (severely over covid) and i have never sought help on my own because i am, ironically, deathly afraid of psychiatrists, therapy, medication and the social stigma that can come with all of that. i am explaining this because, i think about things constantly, am very analytical of situations, and am a serious over thinker. i don’t know where it comes from but that is the most likely explanation.
anyways,
i am 17, and up until now, my parents have been in a very close knit relationship. i have only seen them fight very rarely throughout my life, however, when they do fight, i go into a mode where feel like my entire universe is crumbling down on top of me. likely because all my life i have been terrified of being independent and currently rely on my parents for most of everything. now to get to the very surreal art of this story.
over 15 years ago, our neighbor who lives directly across the street from us got into a major argument with my dad over some perceived slight. Ever since that fateful night, they had been enrolled in an ever shifting battle of attrition over who can be more rude to the other. Around 6 years ago, my dad tried to fix things by offering a handshake and apology. The neighbor, refused. In response, my dad decided to end the battle by ignoring him and leaving it all alone. Now we get to the main event:
A couple of months ago, the neighbor began placing large, motion activated spotlight facing directly at our house, which has windows. every time a car would drive by, they would light the house up with a massive display of bright white light. After complaining to the city civil officers for a very long time, they still did nothing. I kid you not, the day after the city finally stepped in to fine him over the lights, my dad started changing for the worse. I didn’t know that yet. That night, my dad apparently saw the neighbor across the street in our backyard acting suspicious. Surprisingly, According to my dad, he didn’t just see the neighbour, he also saw his wife and daughter (whole fam), all in full camo, with “night vision goggles.” When he asked my mom to come look (she was sleeping) she refused, citing the fact that my dad must be seeing things and that she was sleeping (this was around 1AM). Since then, every chance he gets he blames her for not coming to look, and that if she did he would have been proven right. Not long after this, my dad became extensibly paranoid about the neighbour using a listening device to spy on our conversations from his window. All the while, me and my moon were trying to be honest with him by telling him that we believed him but that we did not have any proof to make those conclusions. in response he would react by saying mean things about our judgement and eyesight. we proceeded to buy and install cameras covering the entire house. After we got the cameras, my dad would buy energy drinks and stay up all night, every night, pointing out things that could potentially but by not any means definitively prove that someone is creeping in our backyard. He would point out a dark branch swaying in the wind, and when I would ask him for more proof he would only respond with anger and criticism, once again concerning my judgement and eyesight. He probably showed me hundreds of pieces of footage over the course of a few weeks, and every time he did I was just as excited to hopefully prove him right as I was anxious about having to explain to him why he is wrong and then have to face his disappointment. Because I am his kid, he was not able to do much to take his anger out on me because he loves me very much. Every time I proved his suspicions wrong (not gleefully by the way) he would get upset and not believe me but it wouldn’t be as bad. However, every single time my mom tries to logically point out what is wrong with his argument, she gets bullied by him very badly and their relationship gets worse and worse. He even said that he doesn’t have any trust for her anymore (in front of me because i was trying to stop them from fighting) because of this? they have been married for 25 years. We both don’t want to lie to him, but also don’t want him staying up all night paranoid, watching the camera 24/7 even sometimes while driving, and god knows what else paranoid things I haven’t witnessed. i am so worried about him but every time we try and do something he gets angrier and angrier at us for not believing him. it has been about a month of him every day trying to prove to us and we still have seen nothing. I stayed up all night watching multiple times, and couldn’t find anything. When I proved to him that it couldn’t be the neighbour because they hadn’t left their house the entire night, he immediately changed his stance by saying that he saw upwards of 10 people in our backyard. Last week, he said he saw them all face to face and has been in the backyard at night time talking into the dark. our camera has never caught them, he says because they know the blind spots, how to hack it, and how to shine a light at it so it temporarily goes blind. Last week, he started telling us about how there was a group of people on our roof every night. They were apparently climbing up there from our shed, which seemed very difficult, and when we put a camera there, he changed it to saying that they were using a ladder to get up. there is literally no way we wouldn’t have seen them or someone in our neighbour hood wouldn’t have seen a whole gang of people climbing on our roof from 1-6AM. a couple of days ago, I felt like I had to step in and screamed as angrily as I could at both of them to stop fighting. My mom was trying to prove my dad wrong and my dad wasn’t having it, saying that he couldn’t trust her and making extremely personal insults. He calmed down after I did everything in my power to stop it, and they made up, but last night the exact same thing happened again. I woke up today and he had left, apparently having blocked her. It is now late into the evening and I am waiting for him to come home, hopefully changed and feeling better. I love them both so much, and I don’t know what is wrong with him. If you read this far, I am sorry, for making you read all of this probably chain of run on sentences. Advice would be appreciated but it would be understandable if you can’t think of any.
| 1 |
Please help me because I cannot do this anymore
|
Kissed my friend while he was on a break from his gf. He got back together with her. He flirted twice more with me when we were drunk and tbh I didn’t stop him. I laughed along and was drunk leaning on him etc. then I woke up and realized what a shitty human being I was and stopped it all. I apologized to him and asked that he apologize to his gf as well. For the past three months I’ve had horrible anxiety and ocd over this. I know I disrespected her and her relationship. The guilt is literally killing me. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I always cry over how horribly I acted. I’ve blocked the guy. But I cannot stop feeling so horrible about the way I acted. I’m 25 not a child. I’ve been cheated on so why did I let this happen?? I feel so bad that I’m giving myself stress migraines. All I wanna do is hurt myself. I want to end this pain. All day every day it’s the same. I can’t stop thinking about how much I’ve hurt her. I can’t move on. I’m stuck in that place where I’m disgusted by myself and I hate myself. I am so horrible and I deserve every second of this. There is no sympathy for me. But I just wish I could feel a second of relief. I am so regretful and so remorseful and I just want to stop.
| 2 |
Neuro feedback?
|
Hey, has anyone tried neurofeedback or EMDR at a clinic/mental health place? It’s expensive, so I’m wanting to know if it’s worth it. I have newly diagnosed ADHD and have the worst irritability - I’ve been struggling with this for almost 2 years now and idk what else to do. I’ve tried every supplement in the book. I don’t want to act like this anymore 😔
| 1 |
Side effects of sertraline
|
Ok, I have lost about 7 lbs in 1 wk (not a bad thing, but unusual) , still having massive anxiety when I have to go out to do anything, have some muscle weakness, not sleeping well. I don't seem to be crying all the time, or having any sad emotion at all, which is really unnerving, but all other emotions in tact, including frustration and anger. Please tell me this will change and it's just because it's my first week on it.
| 1 |
Fall from grace so fast our heads are spinning!
|
My beautiful friend--a nurse, mother of 3 young children, car, stable home, good sister and friend. WITHIN 2 MONTHS!!! has completely lost her mind. She met a guy on FB only 2 months ago and moved him out here.
At the time of this post she has already lost custody of her children, lost her car, trashed her home, cuts herself (once so deeply she had to go to the hospital), is doing meth, is PREGNANT and making porn with this piece of human trash! Wtf is happening?!
She is ignoring everyone that loves her. Can someone PLEASE share some advice? We don't know how to help her!
Thank you
| 1 |
Memory loss in a friend
|
I've known my best friend for about 4 years now, maybe more. We live in different states about 6 hours away and we are 11 years apart. I love her to pieces. Neither of us plan on getting married and I'm supposed to be moving in with her at some point. I have to wait for her mom to be gone because I can't handle another abusive situation, or even being around it. The issue is, my best friend has a lot of memory problems. She said she's tried a lot of things to help but nothing's worked. She doesn't even care that she can't remember stuff because it's only a problem for me. I'm supposed to be moving in with her, 6 hours away from all of my family and other friends, and I don't even know if she's going to be mentally there. What am I supposed to do?
| 1 |
just a rant
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what's wrong with me? why am i the way i am? i'm stupid. i'm pathetic. i can't seem to just be a normal person. nobody in my life has ever stayed. why doesn't anyone stay? why doesn't anyone care fr me the way i do for everyone else? why am i such a fucking self centered and terrible person? i just want everything to end. i don't care anymore about the things that are keeping me here. it'd be so much easier if i just left. my family would have more money, my boyfriend could find someone he actually likes (cause god knows i'm not that person), classes at my college would have more space, less people would be apartment hunting, all my things could be sold for more money, no more deb, no more stress, no more anything. i just wish everything would stop. i just want everything to end. i can't keep going, i'm so tired. i'm so, so tired. but i have to keep fucking going. i feel like i'm going insane. i feel like i'm spiraling. i don't even think about feeling this way anymore. i just feel numb. i'm so stupid. i hate myself so much. i wish i was pretty. i can't be so i wish i was just dead. i just want everything to stop. i want everyone to go away. i can't do this anymore. i just want to scream. i cry and i cry and nothing goes away. i dream about the day someone finds me dead. maybe then everybody would care about me. maybe they'll realize that they should've treated me better. maybe they'll realize that i'm just a coward who couldn't survive. that's all i am to everyone right? a coward. all i do is pity myself. all i do is act like things are hard for me. everyone has it so much harder. i have no right to feel the way i do. but i hate myself so much. i'm so selfish for being this way. i hate myself. i fucking, fucking hate myself. i wish someone could pull the trigger for me. i'm too coward to do it myself. see? i am a coward. that's all i am. i want it all to end.
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Coping Skills
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I’ve been struggling with anxiety and anxiety attacks in (and out) of school and I can’t find any coping skills that help. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Have a good day, sending love
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Slightly frustrated...
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I have been trying to settle with a telehealth psychiatrist for months and finally when I found one I liked, he left the practice 🤨 so now I have to find another one and likely go through everything all over again. And I have to do telehealth due to my husband having our car for work during typical work hours and lack of childcare.
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Depression and Anxiety
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Anyone else have problems with praise?
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I never accept it or believe it. Never really have. I just go right back to focusing on the bad parts. What can I do to change that?
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Emotionally and mentally manipulated
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sorry about poor formatting Im on on mobile and using speech text cuz there's a lot to unload.
I've been trying to work on my mental health for months. I had a breakdown the day after Valentine's Day when my autistic boyfriend misunderstood what I said about a video game I was playing to get out of work burnout. I was already mentally and emotionally worn down from my roommate who has gone out of her way to isolate me and made me feel bad for wanting to be included in social interactions and spending time with her, her husband and our friends. This pose is mainly going to be about how she has made me feel over the last year. She lost her mom last January and that's when she started really spiraling isolating friends and isolating the only family that she had left to where she was taking out all of her aggression on me and her husband. I can't play my music that helps me feel better I'm not allowed to play video games in the living room and even though I help clean and cook, all she does is complain how nobody helps her do anything she has to do everything alone even though I also help take care of her 8-month-old puppy 5 days a week while I work 62 hours a week from home. I have no problem doing it as long as somebody shows or tells me that they're grateful for what I do but now it's gotten to the point where she expects it and it's just become such a toxic environment that my mental health is decreasing even more so. Part of me cannot wait till June comes and they want to leave and get off the lease so it's just the two of them and their dog. Once the two of them are on their own with their dog they're going to realize just how much I have done to help them and make a house a home because none of the furniture in the living room and kitchen is mine. Plus all the pots, pans, utensils, glasses, mugs, plates and half the silverware is mine.
I've been looking into getting some additional therapy just because of how I have a lot of childhood trauma to work through as well. I just really use some words of encouragement to get me through this rough patch till I'm in a healthier environment.
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What help is there?
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Feel like there is no hope at all for me I try every day I don’t fit anywhere in the world that’s just the reality of my life and I have no one to talk to or who will listen.. women hate me for some reason I have wanted to die for years
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4 Realizations leading to Long-term Happiness
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“Reality is often disappointing”
You must put in the work
Don't expect just to be given a good time without first giving a good time…
If everyone shows up expecting to be given a good time, no one will actually be giving a good time… Sounds like a pretty sour time to me…
Everyone must offer some sort of value to the goal of having a good time.
I'm sure many of you have felt this realization, or maybe you have and weren't quite sure what it was. Here's an example: Recently I made a mistake at work… and a nice and crisp $400 mistake…
I thought it was the end for me. The shame and guilt that I felt over that weekend were immeasurable…
I genuinely would have preferred suicide over those feelings. How would I make the payments? Will I still be able to go straight into college? What about my girlfriend? I wanted to bury my head in the sand and suffocate…
However, when I showed up to work three days later. Nothing happened…
Everything was alright, and the only thing that was said to me was “ You're a good worker and you know the job well. try not to do it again.”...
I was so relieved, but more importantly I had reminded of my own lesson “Reality is often disappointing”. Now you might say…
“David, what do you mean? You're disappointed you didn't get fired? Not at all…
What I mean is simply that the event that I had been hyping up in my mind for so long turned out to be nowhere near as substantial as I made it out to be.
There are many other directions I could go with this topic: such as illogical thought fallacies, or inefficient thinking, and bullet point stacking. However I won't go over all of that here as it would be too much to write about.
If you are interested in those you can message me privately, or click this link to subscribe to my youtube channel where I discuss all of these topics in full depth: [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrRqLCwd5b0k80uIADh4V2w](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrRqLCwd5b0k80uIADh4V2w)
​
Keep it up and stay on task!
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Q: What should I do when I think someone I know is self harming?
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Just recently, I was in the change room trying on my new uniform for band with some of my other classmates, when it came to my attention that one of them had scars on her thighs. There were quite a few, and looked like she had been self-harming, but I couldn’t see any that looked fresh. I was worried when I saw them, and thought that maybe I should speak up and ask if everything’s alright. But then I thought to myself, what if I make matters worse? What if me bringing it up makes her upset, and makes her relapse? So I decided not to comment on it, but the more time passed, the more I thought about those scars. I want to ask her if everything’s okay, but I don’t want to overstep or make it worse.
We don’t know each other extremely well, but as her classmate and someone who has depression, I feel the need to make sure that everything’s okay. Seeing those scars was very worrying, and I really want to talk to her about it, but I’m just afraid that I won’t help. What do you think I should do about this? Should I ask her about it, or just stay silent?
Note: I haven’t talked to her about it because I’m worried she’ll think I’m pitying her, or I’m disgusted by what I saw. There’s also the possibility that she’s learning or learned to embrace her scars, or me asking may make her feel awkward. But I’m just genuinely concerned, and want to help her however I can. I’ve seen those videos and stuff where people don’t reach out and then it’s too late, and I don’t want that to happen in this case. She’s an amazing person, and I want to be there for her even if we’re not really friends or anything.
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Just need some advice.
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(Idk if this matters but I am 17 almost out of highschool)
So let me give you all a short summary of what happened before I tell you the issue. So basically about a year ago me and girlfriend of almost three years broke up with me totally out of the blue. Then she came out as lesbian, then dated a girl. After that she came out as bisexual and dated 2 more guys. (This is all within a 5 month timespan) Then I found out that she actually got pregnant while we were together and she had an abortion with another guy.
While she’s out trying to find someone knew I am completely lost. It’s a constant mental battle in my head. I’m fighting suicidal thoughts, which is whatever because I’ve struggled with those for a while.
But it’s come to a point where I feel like I have no control over my life. I feel like I’m out of my own head. Like I’m just a zombie where I go to work and come back home. I’ve tried hanging out with friends more to see if that’ll help but that’s just a temporary fix.
I’ve tried anti depressants (Fluoxetine) and they work for a while but after about 4 months it stops working. So now I just use my CBD pen (which is completely legal in my state) and that kinda helps I guess.
I’m just so exhausted mentally all the time. A lot of days I can’t even get up to just go fix food for the day.
The only way I can shake the feeling of “outside my own head” is basically by doing the next things as following
1. I do my homeschool work (there’s a lot more that happened why I quit public school)
2. I go to work 1-9
3. Then I come home and edit videos and record videos. (I do YouTube in the side because it’s a dream career)
4. Get high and repeat.
The only way I can shake this feeling is drowning myself in work. If you have any ideas on how to shake this feeling please let me know.
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It feels like I have different versions of me arguing with each other, Help.
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I've been having quite a stressful time recently (relationship issues, etc.) And I've kind of been realizing certain things and traits about myself that were kind of a massive reality check and left hook for me. There have been things I've said that don't feel like me. They don't feel like I said it, but just, another version of me. Not a different person, just like split personality. The only way I can describe it is like the movie, Inside Out. Like they are all the same person, all me, but they are all like split from the different traits that I've realized I had. I just need help figuring what is happening because I've never felt this way before and I have no clue what to do
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Thesis Research: BPD Traits, Relationship Satisfaction, Emotional and Interpersonal Skills (18-45yo, preferably experience w emotional instability)
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Dear everyone,
My name is Diana and currently, I am completing my degree in Psychology and Human Development. During the upcoming month, I will be collecting and processing data for my study on BPD traits, relationships, and emotional/interpersonal skills for my bachelor’s thesis.
Therefore, I would like to ask you if you could fill out the linked questionnaire if you have experienced emotional instability. It will take a maximum of 15 minutes and it is completely anonymous, you will be able to read more information once you complete it. You will also receive my email, so feel free to reach out to me for the final results in May.
I need participants urgently, at least 100 within the next week so I would be very grateful if you fill my questionnaire out and repost it.
Thank you.
[https://forms.gle/PYfeGcMiEBX9s5gD7](https://forms.gle/PYfeGcMiEBX9s5gD7)
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I can’t talk to people
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Since I was about 4 years old, I’ve had trouble talking to people and making conversation, especially with people outside of my family. I didn’t talk to anyone outside my family from the ages of 12-18, and by this I don’t mean that I just didn’t have conversations. I would. Not. Speak. Just head nods. Even as an adult I’ve found it really hard to have conversations with others. I care about them and feel empathy for them, but when I try to express it it comes out either flat or exaggerated. Most of the time I just don’t have anything I want to say, which makes holding a conversation really difficult. However, I was on topamax a while ago for migraines and this issue just *poof* disappeared. Words just came out of my mouth. Conversations flowed. Had to stop taking it bc of the side effects, but I now desperately want to be able to talk to people like that again. I’ve tried talking to both my therapist and my doctor about this issue, but no one seems to take it seriously 😕 I just want to be able to talk.
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Feeling like no one really likes you or you put in more effort.
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Hello! I think this fits the category. I don’t have a lot of friends. In fact most of the people I consider friends are online friends. But there’s some issues I find that I have and I wanted some peer advice or to see if I’m alone in this.
First, when I “befriend” someone online and talk to them a lot (particularly in VR Gaming chat apps as an example) after a while I consider them friends. Just as any real world friend would be made. I will trust them mostly and seek out their company when I go online if I like them enough. But I feel like it’s never reciprocated. I never feel like any friends want me. Maybe to fill space or something but that’s it. Or like spend weeks playing and messaging me on discord and then just stop and I’m always super insecure wondering wtf I did wrong. I’m not claiming to be a bundle of joy all the time but I am kind and honest and intelligent.
Second, as example, I have had people that I’ve played games with every day for like four years. Literally. (I had an addiction). I know their lives and they know mine. Then one day they or I went to play another game and I just only hear from them if I text them. And even then it’s sometimes. I have even followed people across platforms.
I am mostly self aware but does anyone feel like this sometimes? It’s hurts pretty bad. I just want to have like one or two friends.
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What is going on with me?
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Today i had a physic test that i didnt study for. I had my phone in my pocket and i could easily cheat to get a passing grade but i didn't. I returned an empty paper with just my name on it. For the first time I didn't care what grade i got. The whole time while other were answering questions on paper i just thought what's the point. I got into certain school just because my dad wanted me to. It was always like that since i remember. I would shorten my hair because he didn't like long hair, i would wear braces because he wanted my teeth to be straight, i wore whatever he chose for me, i would study just because he wanted me to be an A's student, i got into sports because he wanted me to be more athletic, i would stop hanging out with my friends because he didn't like them. I feel like not one choice in my life was really mine. And now i feel empty. Like one part of me just disappeared and now all that it's left is a shell of what i used to be. I don't have any friends in my new school. I can't connect to anybody, i often feel like I'm just floating around, without any purpose. I find it hard to concentrate and study, and i feel like i'm wasting my life. I feel like i should be doing something else but i am stuck.
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