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Ask, show me anything i need some distraction to stop feeling like garbage Distract me | Depression |
I’m only at peace when slumber is reached, so perhaps if I flee, I’d finally happen to be free. Is eternal slumber the key? Little suicidal poem to express myself since I’m an anxious depressed wreck questioning if living is worth it.
If you don’t get it it’s basically:
”I’m only at peace when slumber is reached” -I’m only at peace when sleeping.
”So perhaps if I flee, I’d finally happen to be free” -If I killed myself, maybe I’d finally be free and be at peace 24/7.
”Is eternal slumber the key?” -Is death the solution to my problems?
​
I don’t know if I should elaborate on my problems or not, I doubt anyone would care enough to read all of them and in the end, getting told that someone is sorry for what happened to me doesn’t really do much, I appreciate the words none the less but I don’t think anything will ever make me feel better. I’ve gotten into this hole of depression and anxiety over and over and over, it never stops, it’ll never leave me alone not unless I’m asleep or dead. | Depression |
My little brother has been and will always be my world. He grew up privileged with two loving parents who did everything for him. I grew up with the same parents. My mom and I no longer get along, but we used to be very close. My dad was emotional, verbally and physically abusive towards me all throughout my teen years. My brother told me I should not talk about it to people because it tarnished my parents name. That they took care of me, fed me, clothes me, took me on vacation. While I recognize my father feels guilty for how he treated me, he has NEVER apologized, and has not made any effort to be in my life. I do not see why I need to protect someone who never really protected me. I feel like once again I am being considered as overemotional and that my feelings, pain or my experience is not valid. Yes my father is not the same person, but that does not change my nightmares about him, nor my PTSD. Today is the first night in a while I felt worthless And did not want to fight any longer. I have my loving husband in my corner, but that is it. I love so deeply. Why cannot others love me. One person I never expected | Depression |
i ve been having these the entire day but i had sore throat since yesterday anybody else know what it is | Depression |
Buy your self Tea. It is amazing what it does It gave me back my motivtion. Stretch your feet and touch your toes. Avoid constant sleeping unless you are tired talk to someone to help you out. I am a Christian who has had this problom some months ago. I prayed to God about it and was delivered from it.If you feel a lack of motivation force yourself to get up and consentrate do not talk or saying anything in your head. Were ever you calm your mind down and have patients. Letting thimgs passby and lettingthe noise distract you. Hope it helps with focus. If anyone is intreastead in getting closer to God and wanting some or ask question abput my faith feel free to contact me or you can go.r/Christianity or r/PrayerTeam_amen. God bless you all. Hey wanted to give some advice to people who feel the lack of motivation and energy and feel defeatead | Depression |
i moved i cut off my toxic friend i made new one i got a new job got a new boyfriend im going back to school in the fall im in recovery from my eating disorder i ve done everything i could to stop these thought of killing myself i don t believe medication could help me at this point i ve been on three different one now like six different therapist a well i think im destined to die by my own hand maybe people like me weren t meant to live long and i think im starting to accept that i feel like i ve been dying for so long it feel like an eternal fall that i ve been trying to regain my balance from my whole life but there s no stopping it now i wa doomed from the start | Depression |
Going to fucking kill myself. Nobody should have to live like this If I do not get the job tomorrow | Depression |
I (15F) cannot do this shit anymore. (Major TW: Suicidal talk) It’s midnight. I have to get up at asscrack early tomorrow. I can’t go to sleep because of how fucking anxious I am. I feel like everyone fucking hates me and tolerates me for some reason. Maybe because they’re scared, maybe some sort of pity, I don’t know. I’m sick of being yelled at whenever I’m at home, I’m sick of it all. I can’t do this. I want out so badly but I can’t get away. I cried in school today because she screamed at me in the car. She didn’t care at all. Does anyone fucking care? People say they do, but realistically, there’s no reason. I wish people would just get it out of the way and stop being fucking pussies and just tell me if they had an issue so I could stop being a fucking burden. I’m pissed and I’m scared and I hate myself and I hate people around me and I wish I could just end it all right here and right now but I can’t because IM TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY. The closest thing I can do is starve myself and throw my guts up, which is a fun little tradition that I’ve had for over a year. Thankfully, my mother, being the kind soul she is, tells me that is bad and will make me fat. Thanks mom! I’m just so sick of this. I’m powerless and weak and I know I am and I wish I had access to a rope right now. I’ll probably forget all about this in the morning too, it’s just that today was a fucking hell day. I’m tired. | Depression |
being border restricted victim day by day we getting engulfed in frustration depression suicidal attempt and much more that we can t express in word depression fmwangyisaveindianstudents takeusbacktochina 00 | Depression |
I am really confused serious I am tbh I do not what should I say because its very hard to me speak about I am a liar in my familyI do not how I develop this, at least this what I have been told by peopleI am having family issue due to this I guess it has affected me my mom is very over protective about me and she has her reasons too since childhood, I was never allowed to go out to play I was always stayed inside during childhood, my step dad and mom always fight very badly and i hate it and we lived in small studio apartment and my family was about 6because stress I self harm myself but elder sis was like oh did you do it from trend na ( in my school girls cut their hand after arguing with their bf for attention and I did not have bf that time I did not knew that time it was something like this I thought they were serious )even after years my sis still asks oh did you do it for trendthese are few things from other things but I did not typed allI have no strength to type now but I really want to know what is wrong with meI develop this trust issue and my sis and everyone says y are you like this there is nothing you to worry about your mom loves you she spend money on youyes ,my mom loves me I love my mom but I am really scared of her but my emotionsI had failed and bad relationship and toxic one too and I was bullied too in that its my fault tooas time passed I have developed feelingthat I do not want to live I am basically survivingthat what I am feeling right now and from few yearsI do not if I want to get it fixed/ cure or just want to dieI did not told anyone about my suicidal and the fact I still self harm but its not that serious except my sis I love my sis she is my second mom she told me to go out try to get those negative out of mind somehow try to do shopping try to do things that makes me happyyah but noting affecting me then there is point like oh I am fine I should not have depression coz I got everything I am faking it I am a loser if I want to I can just die now but I am not died and you have to just survive its simpleand I have urge to isolate myself from all my family friends my fav ppl I feel like evryone would leave me so I should leave firstand I do not care about after effect if I died I love my family and especially my sis, I would die for herbut if someone said thinking about your family if you do this, its will not affect me coz I think my existence is not that important and eventually they would move on Ps. English is not my first languageIf you see grammar error pls ignore it Am I faking it or I need help? | Depression |
theekween vhulivhadza help with depression and anxiety thelmasherbs | Depression |
I am scared to be around them, they laugh at me and I do not feel comfortable around them I have made some progress with my family but my aunt just hates me my baby cousin threw a water bottle at my friends door and I put him in time out for like 30 seconds because we were having fun and I did not want him to cry, then I was 10 feet away from my friends and was talking to my cousin not to throw stuff at peoples door then my friends started laughing because one saw a bug and was deathly afraid of them and another one of my friends got hit with a basketball so they were just laughing and screaming then my cousin ran inside to him mom that my friends were laughing at him and they were making fun of him and put him in time out.I do not know if this is wrong but his happens so much to the point where I want to kill him. I have to be his father figure because his mom is to lazy to play outside with him so I have tothen I have to heat him up food make him breakfast play with him and become a dad at 12 while I am playing my game he asks me to go outside I say no because I am playing with friends on the game he tells his mom and she forces me to go outside and I hear her say I do not know why he treats my son like that he is like this for no reason what did he do to you when I tell you I wanted to throw a cinder lockInto her window.In truth I am scared of her because she has strings over my mom and if something happens she lies to my mom she always has something to say to me just to break me down FUCK HER I am especially afraid of my mom she beats the fuck out of me if I do not something she scares me so much fuck her to igI tried to kill myselfOnly stopping of the phone call of my best friends let us name herLori she is the kindest person in the world to me she means so much and loves me as a best friend she had called as I had that knife to my throat she was also the ONLY one to notice how unhappy I was just from a phone call she left a note it my notebook being supportive I have a journal where I write deep stuff in and it has helped but things are getting worse god this was short in you want something longer for the journal I made another post I need help Fear. Death. And a fucking journal | Depression |
Yea so I am in my mid-30s, got a great wife and son, that part of my life is wonderful. My job is high paying and I absolutely hate it. Feel like I am failing most of the time. Had depression since my teens but somehow I have been able to navigate life and been somewhat successful financially. No matter these successes, I just feel f-ing worthless most of the time. I feel like the work I produce is not any good, though I do not get told that. I have almost 0 confidence. I was on the SSRI train for a while, but been off for 3 years. I am eaten up with worry most of the time, about stuff that is not even real. I do not have any friends beyond my wife, who is amazing and struggles with her own anxiety and family issues. I am really looking for a strategy to stop feeling so worthless. As a man, it is really difficult to find other people who understand. I need to be present for my family and provide, it just always feels like I am minutes from failure. And the worst part is that I know deep down inside I just want to give up sometimes. But I keep going. Just had to get it out a bit. the struggle is real | Depression |
i used to be so confused why, and i would talk to my friends about if i was sad, my parents, anyone really. but oh nooo that does not happen now. and i hate ityou just cannot say anything. because you do not want to be judged, made fun of, all that. so you just sit there is silence thinking about it for way too long until you snap out of it or someone finds you so you have to pretend like nothing happened. every day. like right now, I am confused about a girl, i miss her a shit ton but do not think she misses me at all. i moved country and most of my friends from home fucked off to some other people. and i feel lonely as fuck. but really who cares. truly not many people do. so whateverthanks for letting me rant, have a great day i never really understood how guys just could not talk to anyone about their problems. but holy shit now i do | Depression |
I am back home I spent two miserable nights there. Seeing all those insane people was scary. I was seriously so scared. I thought things will be fine once I come back home but no, I am still traumatized. I feel so out of place and empty. I feel so weird and uneasy. I want to stop thinking about that place. I do not want to go back there but everything reminds me of that place. My depression was a bit less intense for 2 days because I was scared if the mental hospital so there was no time for depression to attack me. So now I feel like something very important is missing from me, which is Depression. And I feel so empty. I do not know what I should do I feel so weird and empty. Trauma from the mental hospital | Depression |
i am finally going to make an appointment monday to talk to a doctor about my anxiety but i already have so much anxiety about even calling to make the appointment i m tired of feeling like not only my mind but my entire body is on edge just waiting for something to happen yet i know my blood pressure will be high and my pulse will skyrocket when i talk to the nurse doctor and i m dreading it any tip on helping anxiety about talking to a doctor about medicine for anxiety i also don t want them to think that i m just wanting drug or am being dramatic i have tried to manage it myself for the past few month but i feel no better | Depression |
my father is very smart he ha so much achievement in his education and he always graduated top on his class his dream profession wa to become an engineer but because they were poor he wa not able to pursue it back then he would always persuade to become an engineer now i m at college studying engineering but i am struggling to keep up with college whenever i share to them my struggle they just expect me to easily overcome it i cry every night thinking that i am just a failure and a disappointment to my family this ha all started when i wa still in elementary and have been reaching a top in the class i wa introduced to the computer and got hooked by it i basically grew up in high school facing my computer most of the time i would no longer study and just play all night long not knowing the impact it that would cause me today my habit have completely changed i became malnourished my education ha deteriorated and i graduated high school not knowing how to add a simple fraction now i am at college i am struggling to keep up especially math and i have a failing grade we have a programming subject and what i have realized is that i actually feel happy when taking the lesson i have been thinking to change my career instead but i know my family would not agree i have so many thought right now about what ifs but the urge to just end my life is too strong because i know at this point of my life i have no chance to succeed i have been thinking about this for week i have completely lost my faith and motivation i am disappointed in myself knowing if i would continue it would only get worse i ve already prepared everything i m only waiting to actually be able to pull the trigger | Depression |
Hope this is allowed if not get rid of it . Just wanted to get something off my chestIm 22 recently graduated from college I found out at half one this morning thst i was rejected for my dream job (througha friend thst got onto the next stsge) . Another rejection to add to the list. I have already been rejected by all the other msjor companies in the field I am graduating into in this country. I am a laughing stock and a waste of space. A let down to my fsmily and all my dead relatives whom I promised that i would make proud. I have not. I cannot put myself through another interview process. How could I? I will be turned down . I know I am good at what I do but nobody can see that. The people who matter do not have faith in me. what is wrong with me? Why am i so useless as a person? As for my personal life? Another stream of rejections. Any time I get close to somebody romantically it takes them about 3 dates for her to realise I am a waste of their time. I am not a horrible person either. Quite the opposite I have been told that too often I am too nice to people. Maybe that is my lack of worth as a person manifesting itself through helping somebody else. I do not hate my life i just hate that I am who I am . I wish I could be anybody else. Somebody of worth. Somebody that is not humiliated every time they do an interview, every time they ask a girl out, everytime they think they are getting somewhere. Why bother? I am a waste of breath and I wish i could change thst but I am too far gone. Before you think my ill feeling towards myself manifests itself in interviews etc it does not i cover it up. And the last time i was told i was not good enough for a job ie todsu it was not even an interview as such but a task. I do not even know why I am posting this. It is not a cry for help, it is not a pity me fest. it is more so a case of needing to get it off my chest. Sorry for being a burden not only to you but onto my fsmily and my wider social circle. I had not seen a man more useless until i looked in the mirror. Have a nice day, i can assure you it will be better than mine I feel completely useless and hopeless. I am a joke of a person . Endless rejections in personal amd work life have made me realise how worthless I am. | Depression |
i am male and getting my dream education right now and will be working with young people that can t live with their parent for a multitude of reason anymore in year after year of being aimless i found that to be my dream job i am together with a nice girl and we have great chemistry i am living in my own flat and my grade and praxis are is going great i got professional help after a major mental breakdown i had year ago that made me live like a plant and got over severe depression and constant panic attack panic attack are rare and i know my trigger and how to deal with them i am confident in myself and got to reflect on my messed up childhood and problematic personality trait a couple of week ago i started feeling really anxious tho by far more than usual i am afraid of dying for stupid bodily reason and i am always so tense and have ache in my stomach and neck and my heart beat really fast from time to time and i am afraid my girlfriend will leave me that s what i am most anxious about she is really good for me and she told me that i am good for her but lately she act distant while still showing me affection in way because she isn t doing that good aswell there are reason for her to feel bad besides me but i am afraid that i might be a big reason because she wa confronted with a lot of my anxiety related issue logically i would say she won t leave me because gave me thoughtful present and still care for me by reminding me to eat and she sometimes say she miss me but she behaves so distant and it s triggering me so hard because of a toxic relationship i wa in i decided not to talk about my anxiety anymore because i don t want to lay that upon her and i told her about my abandonment issue once and will leave it at that because i don t want her to feel bad everytime she behaves distant because of her own issue that would be selfish hell she even told me she won t stop loving me even if she cant express it but my anxiety is still there the worst thing is that she doesn t want to speak about what s bothering her because she doesn t want to think about it which make me feel like it s me and then i feel like an asshole because i am not the center of the world so yeah long story short my abandonment issue are the worst thing right now i decided not to bother her with it because it s not fair but i don t know how to deal with it oh and those issue wouldn t be so bad if i weren t so anxious in general the general anxiety came with the practical part of my education but i don t know why because i am doing good i will be done with that in week and that s when i will meet her again and i hope that everything will be okay by then but i am afraid that i will be sabotaging myself before then by ruining my relationship just so that the anxiety go away | Depression |
I feel like such a burden on everyone in my life even when I talk to my friends they always seem like they do not want to be there and would rather be doing something else I feel like such a burden | Depression |
Just wondering if there is any link to the two of them and does anybody else here have this too? I have had depression for ages but what I noticed is how I can listen to the same song over and over again not get sick it. Also rewatching certain tv episodes over and over again to the point where I am questioning my own sanity. Depression causing obsessions? | Depression |
Please help, how can I force myself to sleep all day Please help! How can I force myself to sleep all day even when I'm not tired? I'm fucking sick of being awake, I can take melatonin and Benadryl but I'll build up a tolerance to both. Please help, I don't know what to do or where else to ask | Depression |
I know there is a top post about this already, but I wanted to write to hopefully get this off my chest. Life just seems completely meaningless, like there is nothing to live for. I am surrounded by people. People are fucking everywhere. I have lots of friends and possibilities to do just "something" are endless, but they all seem meaningless. I know what I live for, but when I cannot make any progress and any and all entertainment seems pointless, I just do not know what to live for. The feeling in itself is meaningless, because I know there is no intrinsic meaning to be found, so why is it there? I know it is triggered by boredom and loneliness, but only two days ago I was with my family the whole day. I did not speak to anyone yesterday or today, but I do not feel like that is very long at all. I should be able to entertain myself but how..... Life seems meaningless | Depression |
I do not have any friends, and I do not think I can make any irl friends untill my 20s (5 years from now), because of my parents and stuff. I just want someone to talk to. it is lonely I just want someone to talk to | Depression |
mizzzidc politely i ask are you mad how dare you speak to you mum in this manner and even type it in word this is absolutely rubbish depression ko depression ni this is complete madness i pray you become a parent soon and get to experience this with your kid | Depression |
how i love employer and how they love me too but most of these employer deserve a fucking sue and some fucker fuck with me they should never fuck with me and yes the last place i worked at it wa not a cup of tea living here is so stressful anyone can fucking see and the stress doe fucking suck you know it is not stress free and all i have is one damn buck that s why i might have to flee drive in a van or a damn truck and hope the stress will leave me be | Depression |
He genuinely feels like the love of my life. We spent a wonderful weekend together before breaking up and going no contact. I miss him like crazy. I want to be in his arms. I miss the good times. I miss sleeping on his chest. I wonder if he feels the same way... I know he loves me and cares about me... I hate this separation. We said its temporary but my anxiety is trying to protect me by thinking of rhe worst case scenario...and my depression is punishing me for the past. No matter how hard i try to get better, its like the universe is giving me a massive cosmic fuck you. I want to run and hide. I hate not being able to go to my best friend. Missing my ex. cannot sleep. Obsessive thoughts are making me feel even more depressed. | Depression |
new article from obmintegrativeandcomplementarymedicine mindfulness in tai chi chuan a practised amongst higher education student with implication for health and learning a narrative review http t co p aciaxzd http t co usqjekvyaq taichichuan depression http t co scx fegnqf | Depression |
I did have horrible childhood trauma and some shitty memories and a shitty time where i did not have anything and YEARS later I finally found happiness and I finally had a console and a laptop that can play games that made me happy and felt kind of independent and was pursuing my dream job and then LIFE took many of it away because now I have a disorder called hyperacusis which makes me sensitive to sound so its hard to take walks outside ..I cannot listen to music ..and I have to play video games on mute which is ..okay i guess i can..still play probably but the soundtrack and voice acting are half of the game :( SO now I am just miserable and depressed and do not know if I can even work in the future. but let us not talk about the future. I am miserable now. fucking miserable. And none of my friends understand they think I am being a weak person because my disorder is ... invisible. back to being suicidal again. Barely had 2 happy years. now I am suicidal again. I am still so young. but ill be suicidal forever i think...and it feels like this will only get worse. Maybe I am wrong. maybe. but i do not think so. FUCKING HATE how life can be so fucking cruel . I never asked for any of this. Life can take everything away | Depression |
My family is out of town and my brother will be leaving next Thursday as well and all that keeps going around my head is that it would be the perfect time to kill myself. I know I will not do it, I highly doubt I could but i just keep thinking about how I could just grab that gun and do it. Ill be all alone. Everyone will be far away, so they probably would not be the ones to find me. Honestly.. it feels like a plan but not entirely I guess. Idk. Trigger warning* (suicidal ideation) | Depression |
Sleep Any suggestion to sleep easily? I cant sleep until morning. Just lying in bed and wishing dead.. | Depression |
are you a highly motivated self starter? .... no not at all, in any way...everi know you are supposed to just lie and no one is really like that but reading this kind of stuff over and over is so depressing. having to think about starting a new job and trying hard and meeting new people and getting interviewed and rejected. I am so tired and i have not even applied anywhere job hunting is so difficult | Depression |
I certainly have and hope you all are more resanable than me. Have anyone else felt like you would accept and stay in an abusive relatioship for the smallest amount attention and appretiation? | Depression |
Its been getting a lot worse lately and I do not really know how to stop it . A few of my friends has commented on it describing it as annoying or unbearable so I am trying to look for solutions about this. Any way to get rid of negative thoughts ? | Depression |
I am going through a big depressive episode and I can feel myself falling deep. The thing that is different about this one is that I cannot control my eating. I never feel full and food gives me comfort. I have a relatively fit person who has never experienced this before. I would usually just not give in to the wants and cravings and could drop pounds if I felt like it. I have done one meal a day for a while because I am a tiny person and one meal will more than meet my calorie needs. But lately I am eating 3 meals a day and wanting something like a midnight snack. Has anyone else felt this or gone through this? Can anyone give me some advice on controlling my eating? I can feel myself falling | Depression |
I have been in a 1 year VERY toxic relationship, and I finally ended it today. I have never felt so much hurt before. I know its for the better but it seems like it will never feel like it Well I have finally did it | Depression |
i just want this pain to stop and i don t know if it s my fault that i am the way i am so maybe i deserve this feeling maybe this is my punishment for being a bad person i have a fear of my parent touching me and most people would think that s ridiculous it s ocd and it s killing me i don t live with them anymore but every time they ask to see me i wish i could stop existing i feel like a bad person for wanting to avoid them even if they gave me trauma so maybe this is what i deserve maybe it s all because of me i wish i wasn t like this i wish i didn t have to be alive i m ready to go | Depression |
i ve been keeping myself from here yet at the same time i keep coming back to read about other s experience maybe a a way to prove to myself that i don t have it a bad still though i feel so depressed and withdrawn from everything this suck everything suck i wish it wasn t like this plus i still can t put my finger on what exactly made me start thinking in such a nihilistic way i m constantly thinking if i went back in time or maybe if i did this just thinking of what could ve been knowing it s just going to drown me in hole of self absorbence i don t know if this ha bad grammar so if it doe then sorry | Depression |
I can’t seem to have a good day anymore Used to be able to find the good in the day, now I just wait to go to bed in a house by myself | Depression |
Why do I do the things I do.. why do people worry why do I not care enough to actually careWhy do I want to please everyone other than myselfWhy do I obsess over the pastWhy do I feel like I am going insaneWhy do I have so many people in my head..Why have not I harmed myself yetWhy do I have a pent up anger against my dead fatherWhy do I have to take a pill for my adhd to make me feel sane..Why do not I trust therapists..Why do not I ask for helpWhy do I want a relationshipWhy do I have heart pains. Why | Depression |
I do not know why but I do not have the will to do anything anymore. I have not had it for years now. I lost it during my high school period and now in my final semester of university I still do not have it. Even if I know how important the thing is and delaying it can definitely mess it up, I still cannot get myself to do it. For example I have to submit the first draft of my thesis tomorrow and I have not even started yet. And ik I will ruin my health and I am already notice it deteriorating but I still cannot get myself to work out or stop smoking. I have kind of given up on life and I do not know how to get the motivation back, the same motivation I had when I was in middle school. I think there is something wrong with me. | Depression |
How do I tell my mom I need help Getting help | Depression |
i realized the only reason i haven t killed myself is i don t want to be a burden on my brother and cause him and harm idk realizing that made me freak the fuck out the idea that i haven t lived my life for myself for year is making me have the urge again for some reason and it s scaring me the only thing that give me comfort is planning a day to end it so i don t end it now i really don t want to be here anymore i feel like people only want me around when it s convenient for them or when i can help them i am a last resort for everyone because i have no need at all i fucking hate myself and the only people who care about me are the people who have to this is stupid but it wa cathartic to write lmao | Depression |
Everyday is a battle against depression and negative thoughts. I do not even really enjoy the things that make me feel better, I have got to the point where I just do them to survive like those wild animals constantlyfocused on searching for food on TV. Am I the only one ? Living with depression feels more like surviving | Depression |
always there reminding me that it will be with me for the rest of this life Deep rooted pain | Depression |
i do not need advice, it will not help. my life has been horrible since i was a young my father died and my mother was abusive my entire life growing up, i just want to die without feeling pain, as I am very afraid of pain from my past of being abused, will someone please tell me how to kill myself without feeling pain for long, i just want to rest please. i have no friends i spend my entire days watching tv shows and playing games to try and detach myself from the real world, anytime i stop doing that all i can think of is how much i hate myself and living, everything is lonely and it hurts. someone please just tell me how to leave I am tired of everyone telling me to stay and that things get better when all they have done is get progressively worse the past 16 years i wish i knew a painless way to kill myself | Depression |
i m glad i watched this during the worst depression of my life bc i don t remember a single thing other than that i loved it and i m saving it for a rainy day | Depression |
i m always so sad i hate who i am i wish i wa never born i wan na kill myself but i get too scared i always regret not going through with it i ll never be happy why do other people get to be happy and confident but i can t i wish someone would push on the train track i purposely stand on the edge so someone would it i really wan na tell someone i know but i don t wan na seem like an attention seeker i don t want then to make a big deal or just not care that ll make me feel worse i try hard not to make it obvious so idk i have every i need to kill myself exit bag but i m just scared i know people say suicide is a permanent solution to a permanent problem but my problem feel permanent | Depression |
I am just fat & ugly & suicidal. i am a pos.for example, I am 16 & my bf is 23, i know its wrong but i continue to enable the relationship.i am like fat, yeah I am working on it, but how did i get so fat, am i really that lazy of a pos. I am terrible to everyone i know because I am so fucking sad & the sadness just turns to anger. idk what the point of this post is. I am just really tired yknow. i see pictures of myself and i wish i was never born. i wish i could starve myself till i am nothing. I am just a terrible person. I am just worthless | Depression |
I am in a really bad depressive slump and i cannot communicate what is actually wrong. I am so sensitive and disconnected and i just feel like my partner is going to get tired of trying to help me and just leave me. i would not blame him either My mental health is going to end my relationship | Depression |
in the last 0 day i lost the love of my life my home my cat my job and my will to live today i got covid so now i cant even look for a new job so i ll lose the new apartment got no friend some family but they dont care i m out of reason to continue help | Depression |
mizzzidc lmaooo this one is mad and doesn t have anyone to tell her the way we form wokeness sef is making everything clownish talking about depression lolz please whatever is disturbing you go way deeper than the shoe and the vent of a private convo is rather unnecessary shm | Depression |
Wasting away First time Poster so I apologize in advance for any formating issues.
I just came to realize how numb I feel today. For some contest I (24F) have been struggling mentally pretty much since childhood.I've had low self-confidence,anxiety and have been pretty depressed for as long as I can remember. Life has always kinda sucked and any good times usually don't last more than a couple of days so I guess all the hurt and disappointment has been building up and now I'm almost completely numb aside from the random anxiety attacks at 3am.
I've been aware of this for a while, but the sheer extent of how tired I am and how I don't care about anything anymore hit me today when I found out that all the neglect towards my studies has caught up to me and will most likely result in me either barely passing uni or not even being able to graduate meaning I will have no degree and just wasted a bunch of time for nothing. The tought of that used to scare me, but now I just don't care that much . I am so lost on how to improve but at the same time I don't have the desire to do anything about it. All I wanna do is sleep and not wake up I wish time would just stop. I don't know why I'm writing this for some advice maybe ?or just venting to strangers online is alot easier and cheaper than therapy. | Depression |
my dad call me immature when i have anxiety attack he swears and scream at my mom point at me and hovers over me when he yell and threatens to beat me if i don t somehow cure my mental illness i needed real help for a real problem and he sent me to a pseudoscientific hypnotherapist just because his friend went there i need help that doesn t make me a baby | Depression |
I went to my psych about a week or so ago for a med checkup and I had a list of all these things I wanted to talk about (mental health is exponentially declining). However, I went into autopilot mode when the nurse was asking screening questions like do you have thoughts of self-harm? and so I automatically said no because I am so used to denying it. I really did want to tell the truth but it was like a reflex to say no. Similarly, I put in a facade for my psych and basically said life was pretty good and blah blah blah. I am not doing well at all and I want to talk to my psych to see if a med change would help, but I am not sure how to bring myself to call the office, and I am also quite nervous to admit that I feel awful. The next appointment I have is not until 6 months from now, and I am not sure I can wait that long without deteriorating even more. I apologize if this sounds whinyI think I already know what I need to do, but I am just nervous and was wondering anyones thoughts? Needing Encouragement?? | Depression |
i suffer from symptom such a chest tightness and shortness of breath a well a acid reflux which i have been told is all from anxiety i started noticing a vibrating feeling in my chest and back sometimes when i breathe while lying down is this something serious i don t smoke or do any drug btw 0yr old male | Depression |
lately i ve been calling my depression dark mode | Depression |
My brother has been staying in my room for the past 2 1/2 months. He was supposed to stay for a week home from college and I have been sleeping in the living room. He leaves trash and dishes everywhere, my room smells terrible, my bathroom has mold because he does not hang up the bath mat and there is piss on the toilet seat.After he yelled at me tonight for standing up for my mom I text him that be needs to have his stuff out by the day after tomorrow. After I tell my mom what I did she starts crying saying this is not how she wants her kids treating each other.This is after an entire childhood of him abusing and yelling at me every day. And honestly? I deserve to be an asshole to him at least once. The ONE time I stand up for myself and I get ridiculed for it | Depression |
im not even a person anymore. not sure i ever was on a work trip. got paid to sit in my hotel room all day. at night these thoughts overwhelm me. a few years ago i met somebody who changed the trajectory of my life.
he was so beautiful. he had such a beautiful soul. he was so unlike me. i was obsessed with him. we even dated for a while. i made his life a living hell. i never treated anyone in my life as poorly and callously as i treated him. im sure if he stayed with he would've died. honestly he probably would've killed himself. he ghosted me. not a day goes by i dont think of him. i wish i could go back and fix things. and never say a word to him. i miss his face. i miss his voice. i miss his hair so much. im sure those are all long gone. as he transitioned more and more of what i fell in love with would fade away. i can't even imagine what he looks like now.
its sad. the thing i miss most about him. is the way he tasted. what kind of human answer is that. im a monster. a devil. i would kiss him for hours. until his lips were bruised. i would take the anger i have for this life out on him. i could still hear him gasping for air. i look at my hands and wonder why.
i've been depressed my entire life. it was cruel of me to spread it to him. he was an angel. and i set him on fire to keep me warm. im a walking black hole who tried to destroy him. but he survived. he has a pretty good life now it looks like, well, from the outside anyway. but my soul won't heal. and i can't forgive myself. and he never will. he never should.
i can't care about anything anymore. my parents loved me so much. my friends and family too. but i can't feel it. i don't deserve it anyways. there's no reason why or how someone like me could be so evil. i feel like a murderer. this isn't depression. these are just consequences. you wouldn't say a murderer serving his sentence in prison, in solitary confinement, has depression. he's inhuman. he can't feel a thing. | Depression |
Stuck in a loop TW ED MENTION I feel trapped and stuck. Whenever I get super depressed I tend to eat a lot and because of my eating disorder it just ends up making me feel like more shit which causes me to binge and ect ect. I don't know how to stop | Depression |
third wave covid's hitting my country , which is under coup(no freedom, civilians murdered,all sorts of violence) and on the brink of economic collapse. On top of that I am naturally depressed, and these circumstances just remind me of how right i am that life is pointless, nth makes sense and everyday is suffering. My normal life routine has stopped since 2019, and seems to continue so. I am just really tired and hopeless at this point. everything is too much | Depression |
So, some back story. I am 27 (F) and this person 23 (M), my younger brother I believe has threatened me during a very heated verbal fight. For our entire lives, he has smashed walls, kicked walls, punched walls, broken things, all the time. He stomps the floor when he hears people walking past his room because it pisses him off and smashes the ceiling above him when he hears his family, including me walking around upstairs as he works out downstairs. He constantly always has had rude responses and is always extremely disrespectful and demeaning when someone is trying to just be civil with him. I have ruled it out over the years and he has abusive actions. He shows silent treatments, holds you accountable for your weaknesses. There is NEVER any wining against him. He has destroyed most of the house. We get in heated fights often. Today, I left my room as he was getting ready for work to see what he was up to and I proceeded to tell him to cleanup his dishes in the kitchen and to clean them because I was sick of cleaning up after him all weekend and this is where it began, he freaked out and told me I do not do anything, meanwhile I cleaned the house all weekend, cleaned after his mess he leaves on the counters. I proceeded to tell him to be respectful towards me. he proceeded to tell me I am a waste of space I do not deserve to live home and I do not deserve anything and that whenever someone asks him how I am doing, he tells them I am a bitch and a piece of shit. he then told me, "I deserve what is coming". I am not sure what this means but it is scary. He does own a shotgon he keeps laying on his bed with rounds and he said he is soon buying another rifle. I genuinly did feel threatened and scared, I often do around him, I often get thoughts he is going to swing open my door and shoot me in the back of the head. he has no sense of remorse or sympathy whatsoever. Never answers my phone calls or texts. Someone please give me your insight on this. Do you think I was threatened? Also, yes I am very much old enough to move out. I have struggled with PTSD my entire life and have recently been struggling with extreme anxiety and depression. and I am slowely trying to get out of an extremely hard and dangerous time in my life of self harm. This situation makes it extremely difficult to better my life and be happy, I cannot be myself here. he has ALWAYS put me down for my insecurities and my past of not eating and being scared of life. He tells people I am a horrible person because of my PTSD and my weaknesses and calls me a loser. it is extremely hurtful. I have been sitting here texting a friend just trying to relax and be okay. I just do not know what to do anymore, whenever I do move out, I want to get a restraining order against him because I do not want him apart of my life anymore. I think I have been threatened by a family member I live with | Depression |
I apologize its kind of a long post and kind of a rant to get it off my chest.I am 25(m) and have no idea what to do. I feel like I am in a stalemate with life. I am married to an amazing woman who I cannot make happy anymore. And it may be due to her post-partum depression. But like I have lost all motivation to try and fix things because I feel like they cannot be fixed. All we do is fight and argue and it feels like were both walking on eggshells 24/7. I have recently gotten help and gotten on medication to help me but all it does it help me hold in my emotions more instead of express them which ends with me blowing up every couple of weeks. I have lost the motivation to take care of myself. I have put on weight. Started smoking cigarettes even more and struggle to do normal things like dishes and clean the house.Also I am working myself to death it feels like. My body is destroyed from my younger years and I have a very physical labor job but I cannot leave it because it pays to well.It feels like the only things that make me happy right now are my 8 month old son who I love so much, and my little alone time I get to myself to play video games.I just feel like I am under a ridiculous amount of stress and I am depressed af and just do not know what to do. I have lost all motivation | Depression |
"Death solves all problems. No man, no problem." Stalin was right | Depression |
I am writing this not knowing if I will ever actually send it; I do not know why I get so anxious when I think of you or make an attempt to reach out. All my thoughts disappear and the only thing I experience is this weird, warm sensation in my chest: there is nothing but a feeling of faintness, like my insides are slowly evaporating. Images flash of what I think your life is like today and I also see memories of other times we have been together. These latter are mostly from moments all our families have been together, I mean the families you have joined with in marriage and our own blood relations. My reflections of the weddings (that I know I was at in the flesh) I experience in the same manner as I envision how your current life is like, as if I am a passive observer, as if I am dead or a ghost. I saw a picture of me at your wedding and I remember feeling so out of place in that world, I recall it now as if I were never there, disconnected and a complete stranger. Sometimes I ask myself if I will ever see you again, I imagine our lives forever separated as if that were the answer but it does not really seem any different than its ever been even when I did appear at various holidays and family gatherings.My life today is just a meager attempt to scrape buy, do the bare minimum just to keep living for what? I do not know. I work by myself and mostly just sit in my truck and read when I should be working. I do not really care. I can get away with it so I do it. I would not say I am depressed, I can get by most of the time without ever having a sad thought: most of my life these days is characterized by indifference. I think about trying to change my life in some way but mostly nothing comes of it, I do not really care. I am just another life amoung millions of others doomed to die in obscurity. Sometimes I see myself as having potential to do great things but then I take revenge on this cruel world by becoming a martyr who will die with this potentiality in my grave. At times I wish I had been born thousands of years ago instead of today. This modern world is grotesque and foreign to me, the paths in life we are limited to tread are dehumanizing. Sure, many people make their own path but I lack the strength and imagination. I do still dream of the perfect life. For me it would be a life of endless travel. There are so many places in the world I would love to visit. But then again I know I am doomed to live my days out in this miserable country, in this pathetic world of an era that cannot even give us the satisfaction of failing so we can create something better. No. I am afraid man is doomed to stagnate forever in the filth of democracy and freedom, mere titles and images while the few toxic hands of corruption really <i>live<i> on the backs of the bodies that suffer in the transcendence of eternal hope.I am rambling but my point is this world is lost to me. I do not have any hope, and without anything to believe in a man cannot be said to exist. I suppose this is why I experience your presence, current and past, as a ghost or as if I have never existed all along and this life is only a dream with my body a mere paroxysm of nerves whose only force is born in the desire to exist.Looking at these words I probably will not send this message. But this is the gulf I so desperately want to bridge but I know my breath is lost in that void so sending it is still the same as not. If I am practically dead already why not make it official? I can never send you these words; how could I? My life is so diametrically opposed to yours. I am afraid I am doomed to live like this. I am deathly afraid. I have no place here. A message to the void | Depression |
Sometimes it feels like everything is not real. Nothing I do matters and it seems like the world will never stop. I look around and everything I see is awful. People hating people, abusing people, torture, war, disease, famine; Like what is wrong with the world? Why cannot people just show others kindness and love? Are some incapable? And the world is dying! But no body cares at least not enough people do in order to do anything about it. Everything just sucks and trying to simply exist is too difficult. Screaming into the void (Rant) | Depression |
i think i m happy i ve just went through a couple of month of sad dark feeling and thought best way i can explain it is a painful emptiness inside of me mentally for most of my life i ve always remember going through these phase it never a on or off switch it just kinda slowly engulf me one day i feel a little bit sad and it start this snowball effect after a couple of month of the constant painful emotionless feeling i keep getting the same thought of just ending myself but today i think i m happy it weird to explain but life seems a bit more vibrant music is touching me emotionally to the point i want to sing i hope today is the start of my happy phase and i really hope it last just a long i m so desperate to feel something again | Depression |
I have felt this way for 6 years now. I feel so permanently stuck in this depressive, hollow, empty life. I have become so numb to everything that it hurts to think about how much I have changed..I tend to keep myself from relationships due to my emotional unavailability from depression because I will know that anyone I date will just feel ignored. I do not want to hurt anyone and do genuinely care about people, even if they do not care about me.I am terrible at explaining my emotions and I apologize ahead of time if this sounds jumbled and repetitive. When I was 10 I was raped. As a male I was pretty much ignored because my attacker was female and it sucked. Losing 2 loved ones to cancer, my dad had a stroke, and my mom was unavailable because she had to take care of my father. When I finally told my parents they supported me fully and took very good care of me to get mental health support. My life has been pretty much existing day to day. Not living, just existing. I feel completely numb and have spent most of my days begging to God for something to change, pleading that my life will be better but it has not. I have tried several coping skills for depression but they always seem to be temporary and never last no matter how long I use them.Over the years I have been officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety, PTSD and ADHD. All of which culminate into a bundle of nerves and depression that desperately wishes for the touch of others yet is too scared to let anyone near him or get to know him. My friends that do genuinely know me and care for me have stuck with me for years and I have never been more grateful for anything in my life.My sister is my best friend and she has helped me through so many issues that I could never repay her for. I feel guilty for venting to her sometimes though because she has her own issues and she does not need more to add to her pile.Most of my day is spent sleeping, eating, and reading or playing video games on the occasion where I feel even remotely alive enough to do so.I have never self harmed or attempted suicide and never plan on it for the sake of my family and friends but that does not mean I do not wish I did not exist sometimes. I hate myself for what I have become and worry every single day that I will become nothing and end up somehow more worthless than I already am. I know I am intelligent (please do not think I am bragging I promise you I am not), and that is the worst part. I know I have potential, but I am so downtrodden and depressed that I have no motivation or drive to accomplish anything. My love for history and geography is something that I cling to, because I do not have much left.So here I am, here is all that I am, and I do not know what I am doing anymore. I mind feels so permanently foggy and confused that I cannot even think straight anymore. I am in this constant daze and I just want to think right for once. Numb | Depression |
I have recently come to terms with the fact that I have mental health issues stemming from a lot of childhood trauma and started to seek help. I have been more open about talking to peers, I have been seeing a therapist, etc. these all seem and sound like good things but it honestly feels like its worse than its ever been. My mind is constantly racing with all these negative thoughts and I try to deal with them with positive self-talk but it just feels so pointless and stupid to me. Its hard to get out of bed everyday and all I want to do is go home and be alone in the silence. The thing is, I am not even happy when I am there. I just feel so alone all the time. I had a buddy call me this morning and tell me he appreciated me and all sorts of positive things but I cannot even find the energy to care. Things just ring so hollow and I do not know if Ill ever find true meaning. Depression is an interesting contradiction I have found. Thanks for reading, just needed to get it off my chest. Rough going | Depression |
I can barely keep myself alive, how the hell am I supposed to live normally Anymore ? Suicide might legitimately be the only choise I have left I am just not cut out for living | Depression |
I am on day 3 of Pristiq. I have tried Wellbutrin, Zoloft, and Lexapro. I have never felt side effects like this before when initial starting meds. Could this be a sign that they may be working? I feel like I did a light line of coke. Feeling side effects on day 3 a good thing? | Depression |
ok so i have been anxious for about year now it s only recently got way out of hand i love being on my own or with my partner only i ve became a hermit because being in public around people is just too much for me it s got way worse for the past couple month i can t even cook for a bit of context i have been out of work for almost year now which is probably why i ve only got worse with little to none human interaction i would cook clean etc while my partner worked now i can t even switch the oven on from fear that it will set the fire alarm off the fire alarm are so damn loud i can hear when people have burnt their food a few house down the street i think it s the fear of people knowing it s my house that s making the god awful sound i put food in the oven the other night while my partner wa at work and once the timer wa done on my phone i wa so nervous to open the oven door incase the plume of steam smoke set the alarm off i wa calling my partner leg shaking that bad i had to sit down i put food in the oven last night again and wa again scared to open the oven door i wa at one point just going to turn the oven off leaving the food in there and make toast i don t mind cooking when my partner is home because if the alarm go off i just run and he deal with it lol i m just looking for abit of advice on how to get over this fear it fully take over me tia i don t like to say i have anxiety a i haven t even been to the doctor to get diagnosed and don t want to offend anyone so i ll call it being anxious for now also if this is the wrong sub to put this on mod please feel free to move this post elsewhere | Depression |
Maybe the Zoloft is wearing off or something, I feel so empty. I do not have anything to be sad about so I am thinking its those fucking chemicals.I have been taking Zoloft since the 19th of October 2020, so maybe I have gotten used to it. My depression seems to be back again, even though I take medication. | Depression |
mizzzidc you are spiralling me back into depression with your tweet http t co a9hjljkr p | Depression |
Backed into a wall and surrounded I'm not really sure the point of making this post since I'm sure it won't help, but lately I feel like I'm backed into a wall and life is just rapid firing problems at me with no time to try and solve one.
I recently lost a job I actually liked because my mental issues got too much for me and now I have a job I literally hate and it even pays me less.
My bills are piling up and my bank account is at about a dollar and that's including savings. It feels like nobody cares that I'm struggling and I'm sure by the end of the week I won't even have a phone to use for applying to other places and even if I do how will they call me for interviews?
Honestly if it wasn't for my grandparents I would just kill myself because I'm just sick of life and people, I'm just happy that they aren't aware of my problems because I don't want to stress them out. | Depression |
I have lost my girlfriend of three years, she kissed my friends, everyone I know has left my life, and I am here. Love feels dead. I just wish I could go a day without tears. This world feels so empty | Depression |
tomorrow morning my month old son and i fly out of state for a month i ve only flown once when i wa and that wa with my entire family now i m and i m flying alone for the first time let alone with my son so i m carrying his car seat his stroller a big luggage a small luggage and a diaper bag the airport here is ginormous it wa just remodeled and everyone just talk about how it take an hour to walk to their gate i m really stressing out i ve had my anxiety under control super well lately but this is kind of beating me up i just hope it go well i hope we make the flight and my son doe well on it and doesn t get scared thankfully it s only a two hour flight but still | Depression |
I was sleeping with my bird today it was her favourite thing to do but when I woke up she would been crushed by me and I killed her when I was sleeping. I miss her so much I would give anything to not do it but I cannot stop thinking about it and it is all my fault I killed her and that is it if I had taken her out of my room she would still be alive but I am stupid and selfish and didn'tSo what do I do please help me I killed my bird today | Depression |
i think i m just a bother to everyone i m going to hurt someone depression imheret 0 | Depression |
I had all these ambitions when I was younger. I was going to be somebody. Now I just wake up in the morning, 32 years old, and I think about how I am going to die and no one will know who I was. No one will care. Nothing I did will matter. It feels too late. It does not feel like I have a purpose in life anymore I am a nobody | Depression |
I am so tired, I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot do anything anymore. I have no motivation in life and absolutely no desire to even try to fix any of this. I just want to end it all but I cannot. I am feeling so hopeless. Just wanted to be able to say this somewhere. I wish all the best for everyone here, life's not easy but hopefully we can make it somehow. I do not want to do this anymore | Depression |
I am 17 almost 18 and I am already dreading my birthday. On my 16 and 17 I practically did nothing, however on my 17 I woke up in the middle of the day to just go down stairs pretend to look happy to then walk back up to then start crying because of how fucked and lonely I was, I have had a year of isolation because of covid but honestly life has been shit.i was already down mentally but i first got depressed after I went to college sixth form for something I was not even interested in, I could get into detail on how everything messed up but I want to focus on the impact of this. I would stay up all night and go in the morning to comeback home tired and to hope I would survive the next day, aslo I would get work done at 4am in the morning to just to prove I did something. Everyday I would go to bed at 5am or did not at all to then just sit on the computer. I was already careless of myself because I would not shower for up to 3 months and listened to music to then cry because I was trapped and always reflected on life. I had no energy to do anything, like I said it was a struggle to even bother washing. Overall I was dreading life and I was scared for my future including suicide, while this was happening my mum was too worried about me getting kicked out of the college and not about my health which just made me feel like a failure which I know I was. I finally just left the college to hopefully do something new and get my head sorted, but I am still lonely and wake up at midday with little energy. I am writing this at 5 am while everyone is gone including my half brother who is with his dad and my mum who is fucked off with a man, so I am left alone with just my thoughts like every weekend. Right now I get depression because I have lost interest in the things i loved and no energy to do anything, also anxiety because I am scared of what I will end up as. I have never thought about killing myself because Ik it will be selfish for my family but at the moment life is not looking promising. it is weird because you never think you would feel like this as a kid. I do not care If nobody reads this, this is just to get my thoughts down. I restart in a new college soon and hopefully my life will change because the last 2 years have been awful Depression at 17 and I am dreading my 18th | Depression |
I am 19. I am extremely depressed by the reality of adulthood. I just feel like even if I suffer in silence on the inside, nobody cares. But I know people do care but I am finally beginning to realise "Only you can control your life". I have serious hair fall. No appetite most of the days. I am forcing myself to eat. I mostly sleep really late at night. So when I wake up late, I feel like I already failed this day. My teeth are stained weirdly. I cannot smile without feeling insecure. I cannot imagine going out the facing the world after the pandemic ends.I used to be so full of dreams. Now I just feel empty. I feel like a stranger to myself. I spend my days thinking all the worst possible scenarios like if I am going to go bald or my teeth is going to fall ( My front teeth fell three years ago because of an accident. I am very insecure about my teeth since then)I am trying to get better and trying to build better habits but I always go back to my bad ways. I feel like I am stuck in a loop. No matter how much I try, I cannot seem to break free. It just seems hopeless. The isolation does not help either. I just feel like I should be this "energetic person who lives every day to the fullest" or I am a failure. Just need to get this off my chest | Depression |
I have Instagram, Twitter and this thing. Although it can be a great distraction sometimes when I am feeling low it can make it worse. But not in the sense of being jealous of others and their happy life more so in the sense of watching all the chaos of the world and how everyone treats each other. When I am depressed this feels highlighted. Maybe that sounds stupid idk. This happen to anyone else? Social media sometimes makes things feel worse | Depression |
What is this, what is it You can’t help me. You can, but you can’t. You could care, so you can help me. But you won’t, so you can’t.
I see that now. I was hoping someone would not come and fix everything for me but that they would care. I tried it all, I tried caring so that maybe someone would too. I tried not to expect anything back and I did that but when things got rough and I cried for help, no one was there. People would only take from me, and now that I’m kind of empty, with nothing left to give, no one’s there.
But only kind of. It’s not so bad that I can’t see a light at the end or that I’ll never smile again. It’s that I’ll probably never get the only thing I ever craved for. That’s terrible actually but I don’t know, shit has a way of always getting worse than it is.
While that undoubtedly sucks, life is about more than that for me. I’m not down 24/7, thank the Lord, so I can’t act like my life is over. Get me not wrong, sometimes it stings really awfully and for long periods too. But there’s an entire world out there beyond my own personal lil one that is fascinating, to use one word to describe life.
I should go back in my head. It was always great every time, I would be my own patter in the back and it worked, it works, because I never let myself down in the sense that I always care.
And it’s not like I want to be babied around either. May not seem like it but I’m a strong person inside, I don’t go down easy and every time I do I never stay there longer than necessary. But even the strongest need a helping hand every now and then and I’ve never had that, not genuinely.
Now is one of those times. And what I needed now isn’t even that big a deal. Just someone who would listen and understand. You’d think that wouldn’t be so hard to find.
Anyway. C’est la vie, cheries. I want to go back and fix myself by myself like I’ve always done but not come back this time. It was only when I came back and hoped that I got bit in the ass. Every single time. But no longer.
I’m smart enough to understand and to move on and to focus elsewhere and to do so many other things this world has to offer that fulfill me. One of the best lessons I learned in life was how to take the L. Accept it, let it go and carry on.
Here’s to hoping | Depression |
The only real thing that is been keeping going through all of this has been my upcoming vacation. But now 2 days before I get sick. I am really pissed off and hope I get better before then but if I do not I am going to feel so much more depressed since I will not be able to go. Life hates me I guess. I have been really looking forward to this since its just something fun and exciting to do and I was hoping It would help with depression a little. I am so scared I will not be able to go. I think life hates me | Depression |
Is not simply because I want to do more things that I could, but because I have been inside of my head so long- day dreaming, that I want those things that I cannot have. The things that dream me has. The only main difference in my dreams in comparison to reality is me. I look better, I feel better and I act better. All of those end up with an entirely different life than what I live. They are also in-achievable. I cannot accept who I am in any way. A reason I cry when I think about killing myself | Depression |
Today I have to go to a birthday party for my little cousin second birthday. And I really just do not want to be around my family right now I just want to stay in my bed and be depressed in peace. I do not want to be around everyone and have to put on a fake smile because that is what everyone expects for me. I just want to be alone in my bed I just want to stay home | Depression |
I’m scared because I’m not scared I would always have thoughts but would be too scared to go through with anything, but now I’m not scared. I could know I was going to die tomorrow, and I wouldn’t care. I’m scared because I don’t know if when I have another breakdown I’m gonna do something in the moment that I can’t take back. | Depression |
my depression keeps getting worse, and i want to stop pushing away the people i love. 20M
I feel like im slowly decaying. My mind slips; i cant remember much anymore, i have no desire to do any fun activities anymore; at least not the ones that ive done already (which is just about everything). I have all the desire in the world to get better, but no motivation. I can honestly feel myself getting worse each month. I noticed that i become a little more sad and unmotivated over time, and i really cant seem to stop it from progressing. It feels like a disease.
My life just feels like im in limbo every day. I wake up, do the same thing all day that ive done a million times this week, then wait until my insomnia decides to let me sleep. At night i get into depressive episodes that lead to panic attacks, which fill my head with intrusive thoughts that i would never think normally. Its nothing horrifying or disturbing, but they really bother me. Its like the voice in my head wants me to be sad on purpose.
The thought that really bugs me the most, the reason for making this post in the first place, tells me to push people away. Not really in that exact manner, but i question if i can really feel anything towards the people who are close to me. Everyone is normally completely fine, but not during my episode. It makes me feel like a completely different person. It makes me wonder if i really love my girlfriend and if id be better off alone. Its similar for my friends. Im fine with them normally, but during my episodes, they annoy me and i feel like i want to stop talking to them. But after i go to sleep and wake up, everything is back to normal. I love my girlfriend, and i like my friends. This thought didnt start happening until this month. I never used to want to push people away because ive always been the lonely type who wants more friends, and i always hated being alone, and i still do; which is how i can tell that im getting worse. Im just not me anymore, im a completely different person than the one i used to know.
The other thoughts are just pessimistic jabs at my future, and general sadness questions. Wondering if im ever going to live a stable life, or if im going to feel happy and content ever again, or if i will continue to be a failure forever. I always have to remind myself that it has to get better eventually, and i cant feel like this forever, but most times its hard to convince myself. I cant remember the last time i didnt feel terrible. Im not suicidal, i dont have a desire to stop living, and dont even get thoughts about it whatsoever. But these episodes make it really difficult to be a living, functioning person.
I need to know how to stop thinking this way when i start to feel hopeless. I know i probably need a therapist or psychiatrist to help me professionally, but im afraid of them. | Depression |
I cannot do it anymore please help me I want to kill myself | Depression |
stats feed indian doesn t know what is depression we would have been topping the list otherwise | Depression |
This is what society has reinforced in everyone. If you do not have money or looks nobody gives a shit about you, that is the truth. what is the point in living if you are treated as a subhuman second class individual for your whole existence? unattractive and/or poor people have no value | Depression |
this is just a vent i guess because it feels better that someone out there may be listening. i feel so stressed everyday that even the thought of anything i -have- to do, like pay bills, pay for school, sign up for classes, anything, makes me feel sudden panic. i do not know how to properly express to the people around me how depressed i am or how i think about killing myself constantly because i do not want to trauma dump on anyone. I have lost so many people, whether it be to death or just leaving me, and I am just so scared of saying tje wrong thing. even if i really do need helpeveryday i just feel so bad about myself, inside and out, i feel like i will never be good enough for anyone and it rips me to pieces. yeah everyone says you just need to do this or that and you will feel better. do not get me wrong, there are days when i feel better, but there are also days where it all hits me at once and i cannot think of any other way out. i just feel like a small insignificant bug that needs to be squashed. i feel like everything i do is wrong. i do not want to do it anymore :D | Depression |
i would like to disconnect myself from this world shit because it cause me even to not sleep some day i managed to do some thing because i m a moderate intense social medium user the easiest solution would be just stop using social medium and i would like so but i have adhd and i can t just stop using it i dont find other way to entertain me i m gamer and i would like to enjoy mobile game but it feel super inconvenient playing on a touch screen also some of them drain battery so quickly and i get bored so quick of them these are some thing i already managed to do i m currently using sync for reddit so i can mute word about w r related this wa my major concern also on pc i m using re so i could do the same on pc i have an extension called simple twitter which allows me to remove trendings and having more like an ipad twitter experience luckily tiktok and youtube algorithm doesnt show me content i don t like to see everything is funny or accurate about what i like my major concern are mobile twitter even i have muted word it show me news i dont want to see my tl is fine but it going to search and i see those clickbaity trend which most of time i enjoy but always ha rvssia ukra ne shit i dont want to see my family always put news on tv even i always say i dont lile to see them even i always suggest to turn off the tv or simply switch channel the simpson it s always at lunch time for example the situation wa the same even on early covid season in 0 0 when nobody knew anything always the news were covid de th increase to x president declares lockdown shut down some comerces etc etc everywere i like to see ha somewhere support for ukr ine which dont misunderstand me i support and donated for the cause and i wish the best for them but it still reminds me about the problem which i dont like to see this is the minor concern but it doesnt help me to be calm i would appreciate other way i can entertain me when i m exempt from responsibility thank you in advance | Depression |
how did you know that you were/are depressed and not just mentally exhausted or burned out? both depression and mental exhaustion or burnout share a lot of the same things:
\- no energy to do things
\- bad sleep
\- not in the mood to do things
\- a very bad memory and not able to remember things
\- not being capable of having fun because you feel so tired
\- you want to do things but are just not able to do so cause you feel so crappy
\- getting angry or irritated at everything and everyone
how did you know that you were/are depressed and not just mentally exhausted or burned out?
I learned that a depressed person might still want to do things but feel so tired and don't enjoy the things they wanna do or used to enjoy.
i had some kind of medical form with a lot of questions and the result is that i have a very high score on distress and depression, but depression can cause high distress symptoms and high distress can cause depression symptoms.
Anyone who can share some information?
Ps, they claim i am clinically depressed for a few years now but i don't wanna die (i also don't care if i live or die. If i die then so be it). | Depression |
I hate everything about my life. I hate my job and nothing makes me happy anymore. I am ready to go. Just cannot find the courage. I think I am done. | Depression |
my account on a messaging app got hacked while there s nothing illegal there i used to be a very very shitty person and i ve written extensively about my terrible wrongdoing attempt to get therapy and make ammends charity work i know that this person is unlikely to leak my info they seem to be using my account to scam my friend out of money they re committing multiple felony and i doubt they want to leak info and get caught still all this make me feel extremely anxious | Depression |
I used to drink almost nightly due to my depression. Recently it has worsened to the point where I literally do not feel have the energy to do anything besides work anymore and its actually terrifying. I went in a backpacking trip this past weekend and while it was amazing, the depression came back ten fold since my return. I have suicidal thoughts *constantly* (i have dealt with them since i was a young child) and I have lost all joy in activities I used to love unless I am on vacation. I have a very bad feeling about this particular depression wave. Normally I begin to feel better after a few days of feeling like this but for the past couple months (except this past weekend) it has been extremely overwhelming. I have had people at work comment on me looking down (including my boss) and even people I have never met (customers) ask me what is wrong when I think I am putting on a decent mask.I am breaking down crying every single day. I used to cope with alcohol but now I literally just lay here completely numb. I do not know where I am going with this, but if my account goes dead over the next few weeks then its because its just too much. I do not even have the energy to drink alcohol anymore. | Depression |
obviously trigger warning for talk about sexual activity i don t know why and i don t know if i m supposed to do something about it or just ignore it since i don t necessarily have any interest in having sex with another person sometimes i ll want to masturbate but that s it i don t want to be having sex with anyone however when i do try and masturbate i ll suddenly get hit with emotion of anxiety and guilt and disgust and i have to immediately stop i then start cry and panicking and i don t know why a far a i can remember i ve never had a negative experience with sex or sexual harassment or sexual assault i mean i have experienced a friend that would try and touch me inappropriately but at the time it didn t really bother me since i didn t fully understand what she wa trying to do i d just push her off and after a few time she stopped otherwise that s it i don t know why this happens i don t know if this mean anything or i m just really weird | Depression |