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come back, he was expecting it; besides it was not only yesterday’s
|
thought. The difference was that a month ago, yesterday even, the
|
thought was a mere dream: but now... now it appeared not a dream at all,
|
it had taken a new menacing and quite unfamiliar shape, and he suddenly
|
became aware of this himself.... He felt a hammering in his head, and
|
there was a darkness before his eyes.
|
He looked round hurriedly, he was searching for something. He wanted
|
to sit down and was looking for a seat; he was walking along the K----
|
Boulevard. There was a seat about a hundred paces in front of him. He
|
walked towards it as fast he could; but on the way he met with a little
|
adventure which absorbed all his attention. Looking for the seat, he had
|
noticed a woman walking some twenty paces in front of him, but at first
|
he took no more notice of her than of other objects that crossed his
|
path. It had happened to him many times going home not to notice the
|
road by which he was going, and he was accustomed to walk like that. But
|
there was at first sight something so strange about the woman in front
|
of him, that gradually his attention was riveted upon her, at first
|
reluctantly and, as it were, resentfully, and then more and more
|
intently. He felt a sudden desire to find out what it was that was so
|
strange about the woman. In the first place, she appeared to be a girl
|
quite young, and she was walking in the great heat bareheaded and with
|
no parasol or gloves, waving her arms about in an absurd way. She had
|
on a dress of some light silky material, but put on strangely awry, not
|
properly hooked up, and torn open at the top of the skirt, close to the
|
waist: a great piece was rent and hanging loose. A little kerchief was
|
flung about her bare throat, but lay slanting on one side. The girl was
|
walking unsteadily, too, stumbling and staggering from side to side. She
|
drew Raskolnikov’s whole attention at last. He overtook the girl at the
|
seat, but, on reaching it, she dropped down on it, in the corner;
|
she let her head sink on the back of the seat and closed her eyes,
|
apparently in extreme exhaustion. Looking at her closely, he saw at once
|
that she was completely drunk. It was a strange and shocking sight. He
|
could hardly believe that he was not mistaken. He saw before him the
|
face of a quite young, fair-haired girl--sixteen, perhaps not more than
|
fifteen, years old, pretty little face, but flushed and heavy looking
|
and, as it were, swollen. The girl seemed hardly to know what she was
|
doing; she crossed one leg over the other, lifting it indecorously, and
|
showed every sign of being unconscious that she was in the street.
|
Raskolnikov did not sit down, but he felt unwilling to leave her,
|
and stood facing her in perplexity. This boulevard was never much
|
frequented; and now, at two o’clock, in the stifling heat, it was quite
|
deserted. And yet on the further side of the boulevard, about fifteen
|
paces away, a gentleman was standing on the edge of the pavement. He,
|
too, would apparently have liked to approach the girl with some object
|
of his own. He, too, had probably seen her in the distance and had
|
followed her, but found Raskolnikov in his way. He looked angrily at
|
him, though he tried to escape his notice, and stood impatiently biding
|
his time, till the unwelcome man in rags should have moved away. His
|
intentions were unmistakable. The gentleman was a plump, thickly-set
|
man, about thirty, fashionably dressed, with a high colour, red lips and
|
moustaches. Raskolnikov felt furious; he had a sudden longing to insult
|
this fat dandy in some way. He left the girl for a moment and walked
|
towards the gentleman.
|
“Hey! You Svidrigaïlov! What do you want here?” he shouted, clenching
|
his fists and laughing, spluttering with rage.
|
“What do you mean?” the gentleman asked sternly, scowling in haughty
|
astonishment.
|
“Get away, that’s what I mean.”
|
“How dare you, you low fellow!”
|
He raised his cane. Raskolnikov rushed at him with his fists, without
|
reflecting that the stout gentleman was a match for two men like
|
himself. But at that instant someone seized him from behind, and a
|
police constable stood between them.
|
“That’s enough, gentlemen, no fighting, please, in a public place. What
|
do you want? Who are you?” he asked Raskolnikov sternly, noticing his
|
rags.
|
Raskolnikov looked at him intently. He had a straight-forward, sensible,
|
soldierly face, with grey moustaches and whiskers.
|
“You are just the man I want,” Raskolnikov cried, catching at his arm.
|
“I am a student, Raskolnikov.... You may as well know that too,” he
|
added, addressing the gentleman, “come along, I have something to show
|
you.”
|
And taking the policeman by the hand he drew him towards the seat.
|
“Look here, hopelessly drunk, and she has just come down the boulevard.
|
There is no telling who and what she is, she does not look like a
|
professional. It’s more likely she has been given drink and deceived
|
somewhere... for the first time... you understand? and they’ve put her
|
out into the street like that. Look at the way her dress is torn, and
|
the way it has been put on: she has been dressed by somebody, she has
|
not dressed herself, and dressed by unpractised hands, by a man’s hands;
|
that’s evident. And now look there: I don’t know that dandy with whom I
|
was going to fight, I see him for the first time, but he, too, has seen
|
her on the road, just now, drunk, not knowing what she is doing, and now
|
he is very eager to get hold of her, to get her away somewhere while she
|
is in this state... that’s certain, believe me, I am not wrong. I saw
|
him myself watching her and following her, but I prevented him, and he
|
is just waiting for me to go away. Now he has walked away a little, and
|
is standing still, pretending to make a cigarette.... Think how can we
|
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