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What is the right use of our own personal faculties? Each of us has a certain amount of faculties. How to use our personal capacities?
And faculties. And faculties. Any other questions?
Yes sir? (Inaudible) How do we get out of the love in which we are caught? Could we discuss the letting go and giving up of all the conditioning?
Could we discuss letting go or putting aside all the burdens and the conditioning one has. What sir? What is enlightenment?
What is enlightenment? Can one get into it. Now that's enough.
Yes sir? Why is it so difficult for us to attain a state of beauty? Why is it so difficult for us to remain in a state of beauty, naturally, easily and freely - is that it?
And also to attain it. And obtain it. Why is it difficult for us to do that?
Why is it difficult for us to be able to do that? Now can we put all these questions together? And I think if we could discuss or talk over together what is self-knowledge - wouldn't all these questions be answered?
Which what is meditation, is it a system outwardly or inwardly, what is the difference between the mind and the brain; why is it so difficult to arrive or understand what is enlightenment; why is it that most of us have to, in various forms, struggle and so on. Could we take self-knowing in which all this would be included? Would you like that, would that be all right?
You are quite sure. I am not imposing this on you. That is you are trying to find out how to understand oneself, because if I understand myself completely, as much as possible, then perhaps all these questions would be answered.
Would you agree to that? Yes sir? Which means (sound of band) - Oh, Lord!
(Laughter). I am afraid there is too much competition. ( Laughter) (Sound of band continues).
I hope it is a reveille! Well, let's get on. Would that be worth while to discuss?
Is there a method to know, by which one can know oneself? Is there a system? Is there a way of finding out for oneself all the human questions that we have put this morning, for oneself, not ask anybody?
And that is possible only if I know for myself the mechanism of thought, how the brain works, for myself, how the mind, the brain is caught in a conditioning, how it is attached, how it wants to free itself, the constant struggle within oneself and therefore outwardly, and is it possible to meditate and so on. So to answer all the questions that one puts to oneself, and also the problems that exist outwardly, is it not important to understand oneself? Right?
Could we discuss this? Yes? You have asked the questions.
I am asking you. I am not trying to impose on you. May we go into this?
Yes. Now first of all how do I examine, observe, myself? That's what's involved first.
Do I look at myself according to what the authorities, specialists, psychologists have said, which obviously has conditioned my mind? I may not like Freud, Jung, Adler and all the recent psychologists and analysts but because of their very statements that has penetrated into my mind, and I am looking at myself with that, with those eyes. Right?
And can I look at myself objectively, without any emotional reaction, just to see what I am? And to see what I am is analysis necessary? All these questions are involved when I ask myself that I must know myself, because without knowing myself completely I have no basis for any action.
Because if I don't know myself and therefore am confused, whatever action I take must lead to further confusion. So I must know myself. I must profoundly find out the structure of my nature.
I have to see the scaffolds of my activities, the patterns in which I function, the line which I follow, the directions which I have established for myself, or the society. And understand this drive, which makes me do things, contradictory or consistent, or occasionally contradictory. I hope you understand.
Right? To understand all these problems whether there is god, whether there is truth, what is meditation, what is the meditator, who is much more important than meditation, I must know completely myself. Right?
You see the importance of it. The importance that you know for yourself what you are. Because without knowing yourself whatever you do will be done in ignorance, therefore in illusion, therefore in contradiction, therefore confusion, sorrow and all the rest of it.
Is that clear? One must know oneself, not only at the conscious level but at the deep layers of oneself. Right?
Is this clear? Not what I say, that you must know yourself. Now, how shall I know myself?
What is the procedure? Shall I follow the authorities, the specialists, who apparently have investigated, who apparently have come to certain conclusions, which they may alter, which the later analysts, psychologists, philosophers, may alter, may strengthen - shall I follow the authorities, the specialists? Wait, wait, wait, don't say 'No'.
If I don't how shall I understand myself? Because whatever they have said, not only in the recent years but in the past - the philosophers, the analysts have existed before all the specialists in the western world, the Indian mind has gone into this at extraordinarily great depth, and all the investigations of the past philosophers, teachers, and the moderns, is imprinted on my mind, consciously or unconsciously. You follow?
I certainly have not read Freud but people talk about it, about their conditioning, their sex - you know all the rest of the Freudian jargon - and one is familiar with all that. So shall I follow, because they have gone ahead of me, because I am just beginning, shall I follow what they have said and go further than what they have said - you are following all this? - or I won't follow anybody but look at myself.
Because if I can look at myself as 'what is', I am looking at myself who is the result of all these philosophers, sayings, teachers, saviours, all the rest of it. You are following this? Therefore I don't have to follow anybody.
Is this clear? Do see this please. Don't come back to this later.
My mind is the result of all the philosophers, consciously or unconsciously accepted what they have said, not only accepted, it has flowed, come in, like on a wave all these things come in, not only in the present but also in the great many teachers of the past. I am the result of all that. And also all the latest philosophers, teachers, saviours and all that.
So I say as I am the result of all that, consciously or unconsciously, there is no need to follow them. All that I have to do is to observe myself - right? - is to read myself, read the book which is myself.
Now, how am I to read, how am I to observe, how am I to observe so clearly that there is no impediment? I may have coloured glasses. I may have certain prejudices, certain conclusions which will prevent me from looking at myself.
Right? See all what is implied in looking at myself. So what shall I do?
I cannot look at myself freely, that is, I cannot, as I am conditioned, look at myself in complete freedom. Right? Therefore I must be aware of my conditioning.
Are you following all this? So I have to what is it to be aware? Right, now let's proceed.
You understand my question? As I cannot look at myself wholly in freedom, because I am not free, my mind isn't free, I have a dozen opinions, so many conclusions, infinite number of experiences, the education which I have been through, all that is my conditioning and therefore I must be aware of these conditionings, which is part of me. Are you following all this?
So first I must know, I must understand what it means to be aware. Right? What does it mean to be aware?
I am not talking alone, please share together. What does it mean to you to be aware? The other day the speaker said 'Don't take notes please' - you heard that and you went on taking notes - several people now is that to be aware?
Please sir, let us stick to one thing. What does it mean to be aware? I know already that I can be that only for two minutes, for a very short moment and then it becomes disorder.
Wait sir, we will come to that. We will come to whether this awareness can be extended. Or is it just for a very, very short period.
But before we answer that question let's find out what it means to be aware. Am I aware of the noise of that stream? Am I aware of all the different colours that men and women have in this tent?
Am I aware of the structure of the tent? The shape of it? How it sits on the ground?
Am I aware of the tent - please follow this - and the space round it, the hills, the trees - you follow - the clouds, the heat, am I aware objectively, outwardly, of all these things? Are you aware? Now wait a minute.
How are you aware? We are aware inwardly and outwardly at the same time. No, madam.
we are not talking of inward awareness. Please go step by step. We'll come to all this.
Are you aware of this tent, of the various colours within the tent of the people's dresses, are you aware of the hills, the trees, the meadows, the sound of the stream, the clouds, are you aware - wait - aware in the sense, are you conscious of it? You are, aren't you? When I put my attention on it I am aware of it.
Wait. When you put your attention on it you are aware, therefore you are not aware when you are inattentive. Right?
You are following? So only when you pay attention, then you are aware. Please follow this closely.
When I pay attention to one thing, all the other things around me, I can't pay attention to them, then I become absorbed. You become absorbed in one particular thing and the rest rather fade away. Are you aware when you are looking at the tent, the trees, the mountains, are you aware that when you look attentively even that you are shaping into words what you see?
You say, 'That's a tree, that's a cloud, that's a tent, I like that colour, I don't like that colour'. Right? Please take a little trouble over this.
Don't get bored. Because if you go into this very, very deeply when you leave the tent you will see something for yourself. So when you are aware, when you watch, aware, are you aware of your reactions?
Attention expands... I am asking something and you reply to something else. I am aware.
Look I am aware of that dress. My reaction says, 'How nice', or 'How ugly'. I am asking are you aware when you look at that red, your reactions?
Sometimes. You have got to be aware to meditate at all. Sir, I'm talking of that.
Sir, go slowly into what I am asking. Are you aware when you see that red dress, of your reactions, not of a dozen reactions, of that particular reaction when you see a red colour? Why not?
Isn't that part of awareness? When you put a name on a thing you are not aware. I am going to find out sir, what it means.
Look, may I talk a little? You don't bite into this. I want to be aware and I know I am not aware.
Occasionally I am attentive, but most of the time I am half asleep, half inattentive, I am thinking about something else while I am looking at a tree, or that colour. So, as I have said, I want to know myself completely because I see if I don't know myself I have no raison d'etre to do anything. So I must know myself.
Now, how do I know myself? How do I become - how do I observe myself? In observing I shall learn.
Right? So learning is part of awareness. Right?
No? Am I going to learn about myself according to anybody, according to the philosophers, the teachers, the saviours, the priests? Then it's not learning, is it?
I give it up. Is it? If I learn according to what others have said, or follow what others have said I have stopped learning about myself, haven't I?
So the first thing is I have to learn about myself. Now what does this learning about myself mean? Investigate it sir.
Go into it, find out, what does it mean to learn about myself? To observe myself, my reaction. No, madam, I don't mean that - to learn - what does that mean - to learn?
(In Italian) Are you really interested in all this? Yes. Wait, sir.
The questioner in Italian says, we see the reason of knowing ourselves, we are desperate to find ourselves but we want out of this desperation a system, a method because we don't know what to do with ourselves. So we want a method, somebody to tell us, 'Do these things, you will know yourself' - more or less. Basta!
Now sir, please, do listen to me. There I am. I am the result of the society, the culture in which I live, the religions, the business world, the economic world, the climate, the food, I am all that, the result of all that, of the infinite past and the present.
Right? I want to know myself, that is I want to learn about myself - learn - right? Now what does that word mean, to learn.
See the difficulty in this. Please see the difficulty. I don't know German, which means I have to learn - learn the meaning of words, memorise the verbs, the irregular verbs.
You follow? And all that syntax and I have to learn. That is, I have to accumulate knowledge of words, how to put the words together and all the rest of it, I have to accumulate knowledge.
And then I may be able to speak German. I accumulate and then act, verbally or in any other way. Now, there learning meant accumulation.
Right? Are you following? Accumulation.
Now what happens if I learn about myself, I see something about myself and I say I have learnt that. I have seen that, that is so, I have learnt about it. Now that has left a residue of knowledge - hasn't it?
Now with that knowledge I examine the next incident. Right? And that becomes again further accumulation.
So the more I observe myself and learn about myself, the more I am accumulating knowledge about myself. Right? Right?
It is simple sir. Wait. I am changing.
I am accumulating knowledge and in the process I am changing, but I am accumulating knowledge, experience by observing. Now what happens? With that knowledge I look at myself.
So the knowledge is preventing me, is preventing observation, fresh observation. I don't know if you see this? (In Italian) Se, se, kapito, kapito.
He there is a next step to that, which is, write down your thoughts, put down on a piece of paper what you are thinking, what you have accumulated, and having put that on the paper you are fresh to look. You are not following, this is really quite complex. Do go slowly.
Look sir. You have hurt me, you have said something to hurt me. That's my knowledge.
Next time I meet you that knowledge of hurt comes forward to meet you. The past comes to meet the present. So knowledge is the past and with the eyes of the past I am looking at the present - you have got it?
Now to learn about myself there must be freedom from the past, from the knowledge, to look at myself, which I'm learning, and my learning about myself must be constantly fresh. You see the difficulty? I'd say there are constants in life and if they are constant they don't change.
We'll come to change sir, later. We are not discussing change. I am watching, I want to learn about myself.
I can only learn about myself - myself is movement, myself isn't just static, it's living, active, going in different direction. So if I learn about myself with the mind and a brain that is the past, that prevents me from learning about myself. If you see that once then the next question how is the mind to free itself from the past so as to learn about itself, which is constantly new?
You have understood this? See the beauty of it, please sirs. The excitement of it!
I want to learn about myself and myself is a living thing, it's not a dead thing. I think this one day, I think the next the other day, I want something - you know, this is a constant living, moving thing. And to learn about it, my mind, the mind, to observe, to learn about it, must also be free to observe, therefore it cannot observe if it's burdened with the past.
Right? So what is it to do? (Inaudible) Yes, yes, sir, that is what we being an effect of the past.
It doesn't matter. That is what we mean. Now, what shall I do?
I see this, this happens. Right? I see that red and I say 'I don't like it'.
Right? Which is, the past responds, the past acts immediately, therefore stops learning. You're following all this?
So what is one to do? Go on sirs, it is your problem. (Various inaudible comments) Comment, madame?
How to think? (Inaudible) What do you say madame? Not to have thought.
Not to have thoughts. You see you are not even following what I am saying. You have come to a conclusion when you say, not to have thoughts.
You are not really learning. We have to empty ourselves. We have to empty ourselves.
That's another conclusion. Then how do you empty yourself? Who is the entity that's going to empty the mind?
You have to empty that too. Everything you empty. Who?
Who is going to empty it? (Inaudible) You see sir, you are not listening to what is being said - if you will forgive me my saying so. I said I want to learn about myself.
I cannot learn about myself if the past interferes. Learning implies the active present of the word to learn - learning means acting in the present. And that is not possible when the mind, when the brain, is burdened with all the past.