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Couldn't help overhearing, Simpson. I've got some ice-cold suds in the rumpus room, if you'd like to join me.
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Well, uh, okay. What the heck, I've earned a little break.
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Holy moly! It's... it's... beautiful!
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Say, that's right. This is your first visit to the Flanders homestead.
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Well, we've only been neighbors, what? uh, one, two, three, four... eight years.
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There's my little Popcorn Ball. Kissy, kissy.
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Hello, Sponge Cake. I thought you boys might be hungry, so I whipped up some club sandwiches.
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Ain't she wonderful, Simpson?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, but aren't we forgetting something, Flanders?
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Oh, your beer. Uh, is draft okay? Just put in the tap last week.
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Heh, heh. This is a tasty little lager that came all the way from Holland.
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Well, beggars can't be choosy.
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Hey, Dad, thanks for helping me with my science project.
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My pleasure, Study Buddy.
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I've got the best Dad in the whole world.
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Oh, you know how that embarrasses me.
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I know. T'oodley doodley.
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Ah, kids can be a trial sometimes.
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All right, knock it off!
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Uh, knock what off, Simpson?
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You've been rubbing my nose in it since I got here. Your family is better than my family. Your beer comes from farther away than my beer. You and your son like each other. Your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt. You make me sick!
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Simpson, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I hope you understand.
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I wouldn't stay on a bet!
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One for the road.
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Homie, quit tossing.
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Play it where it lays, Homer.
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Sorry, Marge. But it's just that I'm still steamed up about that jerk Flanders. Lousy... bragging... know-it-all... show-off...
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What exactly did he say?
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Get this. He said... he said... well, it wasn't so much what he said, it was how he said it!
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Well, how did he say it?
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Well... he...
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Was he angry?
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Was he rude?
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Okay, okay. It wasn't how he said it either, but the message was loud and clear... our family stinks!
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Homer, I'm your best friend, but I've gotta say, I've never seen him be anything but a perfect neighbor.
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Oh, he's perfect now, is he?
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Well, he's not perfect, but he is very...
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No, no, Marge. Don't backpedal. You were right the first time. He's perfect. Perfect in every way.
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I'm just gonna go take a walk around the block to calm down. I got a little excited. I'm not perfect... like Ned Flanders.
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Neddie, you're tossing. What's the matter?
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I feel terrible.
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Mmmm, hmmm...
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Sometimes I forget that we have things a little better than the Simpsons. I drag him over here. He has a few beers. You can't blame him for erupting.
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Mmmm, hmmm.
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And then I turn into a snarling beast. Talk about flunking the old turn-the-other-cheek test!
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Well, Ned, maybe I'm not the one you should be talking to.
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You're right.
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Hello, Reverend Lovejoy.
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No, this is Mrs. Lovejoy. Just a minute. Honey, honey, wake up. It sounds like Ned Flanders is having some sort of crisis.
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Ugh, probably stepped on a worm. Hello, Ned.
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Hey, there's Homer Simpson! Oh, what a perfect opportunity to follow up on my letter.
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Reverend, I'm sorry to bother you at this hour but I threw a man out of my house today. I feel like I've violated Matthew 19:19.
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Love thy neighbor.
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Oh. Oh. Matthew, 19:19, yeah, right, right. Well, you know, Ned. The Good Book says a gentle answer turneth away wrath.
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A gentle answer. Well, that is a jim-dandy idea. Bless you, Reverend.
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Dear Neighbor...
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Flanders!
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I don't blame you for being upset with me, Homer. I just wanted to give you this letter. I'll leave now.
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Dear neighbor...
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You are my brother. I love you and yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom.
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Wait! Wait! There's more...
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I think it's terrible. A man opens his heart and you make fun of him.
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"Neighbors forever. Oh, no! Ned Flanders."
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What a sap!
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Read the bosom part again, Dad.
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Now, just a minute.
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I wish this family was as close as the Flanders.
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Okay, okay, all right, all right. She's right! Let's do something together. What does everyone say to some miniature golf, followed by a round of frosty chocolate milkshakes?
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All right!
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Hmmm. I was going to wash my hair.
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And I'm studying for the Math Fair. If I win, I'll bring home a brand new protractor.
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Too bad we don't live on a farm. Let's go, boy.
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Heh, heh, heh heh...
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But I got it in the middle!
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That was just a practice shot, boy.
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Give up, Homeboy. There's a six-stroke limit.
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I know, I know. I can still make this for five. Come on, baby, pleeze pleeze go in. Pleeze.
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Hi, Simpson! Having fun?
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Flanders! What are you doing here?
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Ah, just playing a little mini-golf with the Todd-meister.
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Hi, Bart!
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Get bent.
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Say, now that we're all friends again, why don't we make a foursome?
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All right! This will be fun! Oh, say, you looked like you were having a little trouble there.
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That shot is impossible! Jack Nicholson himself couldn't make it.
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It is difficult, Mr. Simpson. The best strategy is to play conservatively. Hug the rail. It won't go in, but you set yourself up for an easy deuce.
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Oh, well, huh, it went in.
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Good shot, Toddsky!
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Final score: Bart, forty-one. Homer... let's see, six plus six plus six plus six plus six plus six...
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Never mind!
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Hey, look!
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Wow! First prize, fifty dollars!
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Wow! Free balloons for everyone who enters!
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So, my little Bartley, thinking of entering the tournament?
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Yeah, he's entering and what's more, he's going to win, aren't you, boy?
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I guess it's possible.
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Hey, I like that confidence!... but I hope you're not putting too much pressure on the boy. My Todd's awfully good.
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Oh yeah! Well I think the fruit of my loins can beat the fruit of your loins any day of the week.
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Come on, boy.
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But Dad, I've never won anything in my life.
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