jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
You're crazy, Bart.
You're never gonna make it.
Spare me your lectures, ladies.
Oh, no! He's hurt!
Let's get outta here!
Oh, my little boy, .
Come on Marge, we're mad at 'im.
Are you all right?
Better than all right, I got stitches.
Probably a scar, too.
Mrs. Simpson, Bart tells me he injured himself training for a career in death defiance?
Hey, Otto! Can I use that microphone?
Bart, in this ward are the children who have been hurt by imitating stunts they saw on television, movies and the legitimate stage.
This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman.
This boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench, mimicking a recent TV wrestling match.
I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.
Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence.
Well, as tragic as all this is, it's a small price to pay for countless hours of top-notch entertainment.
Amen! Well, Bart, has Dr. Hibbert made his point?
He certainly has, Dad. I learned a real lesson here today. Thank you. Dr. Hibbert.
I did it!
Oh man, you're the king.
Thank you. How 'bout a hand for these brave little animals?
Oh, hi, kids. Thanks.
Okay, field trippers. Off the bus.
What's the matter, Bart?
I'm runnin' on empty, Milhouse. You kids get a kick out of my jumps, and I love you for it, but it's all too easy.
There's got to be a challenge out there worthy of me.
Hello, children, and welcome to Springfield Gorge.
Man, this thing's pretty gnarly. I bet you could throw a dead body in there, and no one'd ever find it.
Otto, I'm gonna leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.
You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something.
But I want to tell them about my jump.
Oh, okay.
May I have you attention, please. This Saturday I will be jumping over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard. There is a good possibility I will plunge to my bloody death. Hope to see you there, thank you.
Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed!
Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get the same thrill out of jumping over stuff that you do from... reading.
Please, before you do anything, there's someone I'd like you to talk to.
Thank you for arranging this, Dr. Hibbert.
Oh anything I can do to stem the tide of entertainment-related injury. Now, children you're about to meet the world's greatest daredevil, Lance Murdock.
Lance, this is Lisa and Bart Simpson. Bart is one of your biggest fans.
It's an honor, Lance. How you feeling?
Ow! Doc, I heard a snap.
Hmm. I'm afraid the bone's broken. Well, that's all of them.
Don't worry, partner. I've broken that thumb dozens of times. Hey, I bet you'd like an autograph. Nurse.
Who should I make this out to?
Just Bart will be fine, sir.
To Bart: Thanks for visiting me at Springfield General Hospital. Your visit was a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock.
Wow, man! Thanks, Lance.
You're welcome. Take this thing out of my mouth now.
Mr. Murdock, my brother is thinking about jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.
Could you leave me with the young'uns, please?
What's the matter?
You didn't mean that. Bart, this isn't one of those phoney-baloney promises I don't expect you to keep. If you make this promise, you have to keep it.
Now let me start by saying... good for you, son. It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger. Now, a lot of people are gonna be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right. But the fact of the matter is: bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world.
But Captain Murdock!
Thanks, Lance.
You're welcome, little pardner. On your way out, tell the nurse I'm ready for my sponge bath. Another fringe benefit. Nurse.
Springfield Gorge? I thought we settled this daredevil junk.
Squealer.
I'm sorry, Bart. But if you got hurt or died, despite the extra attention I'd receive, I'd miss you.
Bart, I forbid you to jump over that gorge.
You can't.
I can and do. Go to your room, Bart! There, I've done it. I'm glad somebody finally stepped in and put an end to this nonsense once and for all.
Hey, man, you can tell me not to do it, but there's no way you can watch me twenty-four hours a day. And the minute your back is turned, I'm grabbing my skateboard and headin' for that gorge.
He's got us, Marge. There's nothing we can do. He's as good as dead.
Homer, you're his father. You've got to try and reason with him.
Oh, that never works. He's a goner.
Oh, come on, Homer. A heart to heart talk with your son, you've got to try.
Okay, okay. I'll try.
Bart? Bart?
Bart! What are you doing?
Ah, nothing.
You were on your way to jump the gorge, weren't you?
Look, I know I can't stop you. The only thing I can do is ask you to promise me you won't jump the gorge.
Okay, I promise.
'Cause if you don't, I'll never believe anything you say, ever again.
Aw, come on.
I mean it, boy.
Well, okay, Dad. I promise. I will not jump Springfield Gorge.
That's my boy.
How'd it go, Homer?
You know, Marge, we got a pretty good kid there.
Well, he's got a pretty good father.
Where is he? I thought he said noon.
Aw, he's just doing this to build the suspense.
Whoa, what a showman.
Look, there he is!
Hey, boy. Wanna toss the old --
Why that little liar! I should... and I was gonna play pickle with him.
Hey, what gives?
Boy, I've tried ordering you, I've tried punishing you, and God help me, I even tried reasoning with you, and the only thing left for me to do is for me to jump the gorge myself.
What? Why?
Because that way you'll see what it's like to witness a family member stupidly risking his life for no good reason.
But, Dad, you'll never make it.
Don't you think I know that?
Goodbye, son.
Wait, dad. Don't do it. I won't jump anymore, I promise.
Ohhh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God.
I love you, Dad.

You're crazy, Bart.

You're never gonna make it.

Spare me your lectures, ladies.

Oh, no! He's hurt!

Let's get outta here!

Oh, my little boy, .

Come on Marge, we're mad at 'im.

Are you all right?

Better than all right, I got stitches.

Probably a scar, too.

Mrs. Simpson, Bart tells me he injured himself training for a career in death defiance?

Hey, Otto! Can I use that microphone?

Bart, in this ward are the children who have been hurt by imitating stunts they saw on television, movies and the legitimate stage.

This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman.

This boy's brother hit him in the head with a wrench, mimicking a recent TV wrestling match.

I won't even subject you to the horrors of our Three Stooges ward.

Gee, I never realized TV was such a dangerous influence.

Well, as tragic as all this is, it's a small price to pay for countless hours of top-notch entertainment.

Amen! Well, Bart, has Dr. Hibbert made his point?

He certainly has, Dad. I learned a real lesson here today. Thank you. Dr. Hibbert.

I did it!

Oh man, you're the king.

Thank you. How 'bout a hand for these brave little animals?

Oh, hi, kids. Thanks.

Okay, field trippers. Off the bus.

What's the matter, Bart?

I'm runnin' on empty, Milhouse. You kids get a kick out of my jumps, and I love you for it, but it's all too easy.

There's got to be a challenge out there worthy of me.

Hello, children, and welcome to Springfield Gorge.

Man, this thing's pretty gnarly. I bet you could throw a dead body in there, and no one'd ever find it.

Otto, I'm gonna leap over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard.

You know, Bart, as the only adult here, I feel I should say something.

But I want to tell them about my jump.

Oh, okay.

May I have you attention, please. This Saturday I will be jumping over Springfield Gorge on my skateboard. There is a good possibility I will plunge to my bloody death. Hope to see you there, thank you.

Springfield Gorge? Bart, you'll be killed!

Lisa, I don't know how to explain this, but I get the same thrill out of jumping over stuff that you do from... reading.

Please, before you do anything, there's someone I'd like you to talk to.

Thank you for arranging this, Dr. Hibbert.

Oh anything I can do to stem the tide of entertainment-related injury. Now, children you're about to meet the world's greatest daredevil, Lance Murdock.

Lance, this is Lisa and Bart Simpson. Bart is one of your biggest fans.

It's an honor, Lance. How you feeling?

Ow! Doc, I heard a snap.

Hmm. I'm afraid the bone's broken. Well, that's all of them.

Don't worry, partner. I've broken that thumb dozens of times. Hey, I bet you'd like an autograph. Nurse.

Who should I make this out to?

Just Bart will be fine, sir.

To Bart: Thanks for visiting me at Springfield General Hospital. Your visit was a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock.

Wow, man! Thanks, Lance.

You're welcome. Take this thing out of my mouth now.

Mr. Murdock, my brother is thinking about jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.

Could you leave me with the young'uns, please?

What's the matter?

You didn't mean that. Bart, this isn't one of those phoney-baloney promises I don't expect you to keep. If you make this promise, you have to keep it.

Now let me start by saying... good for you, son. It's always good to see young people taking an interest in danger. Now, a lot of people are gonna be telling you you're crazy, and maybe they're right. But the fact of the matter is: bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States of America has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world.

But Captain Murdock!

Thanks, Lance.

You're welcome, little pardner. On your way out, tell the nurse I'm ready for my sponge bath. Another fringe benefit. Nurse.

Springfield Gorge? I thought we settled this daredevil junk.

Squealer.

I'm sorry, Bart. But if you got hurt or died, despite the extra attention I'd receive, I'd miss you.

Bart, I forbid you to jump over that gorge.

You can't.

I can and do. Go to your room, Bart! There, I've done it. I'm glad somebody finally stepped in and put an end to this nonsense once and for all.

Hey, man, you can tell me not to do it, but there's no way you can watch me twenty-four hours a day. And the minute your back is turned, I'm grabbing my skateboard and headin' for that gorge.

He's got us, Marge. There's nothing we can do. He's as good as dead.

Homer, you're his father. You've got to try and reason with him.

Oh, that never works. He's a goner.

Oh, come on, Homer. A heart to heart talk with your son, you've got to try.

Okay, okay. I'll try.

Bart? Bart?

Bart! What are you doing?

Ah, nothing.

You were on your way to jump the gorge, weren't you?

Look, I know I can't stop you. The only thing I can do is ask you to promise me you won't jump the gorge.

Okay, I promise.

'Cause if you don't, I'll never believe anything you say, ever again.

Aw, come on.

I mean it, boy.

Well, okay, Dad. I promise. I will not jump Springfield Gorge.

That's my boy.

How'd it go, Homer?

You know, Marge, we got a pretty good kid there.

Well, he's got a pretty good father.

Where is he? I thought he said noon.

Aw, he's just doing this to build the suspense.

Whoa, what a showman.

Look, there he is!

Hey, boy. Wanna toss the old --

Why that little liar! I should... and I was gonna play pickle with him.

Hey, what gives?

Boy, I've tried ordering you, I've tried punishing you, and God help me, I even tried reasoning with you, and the only thing left for me to do is for me to jump the gorge myself.

What? Why?

Because that way you'll see what it's like to witness a family member stupidly risking his life for no good reason.

But, Dad, you'll never make it.

Don't you think I know that?

Goodbye, son.

Wait, dad. Don't do it. I won't jump anymore, I promise.

Ohhh, thank God. Thank God. Thank God.

I love you, Dad.