jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
I love you too, son. You know, boy, I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do right --
I'm going to make it! I'm going to make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world! Woo hoo! Woo hoo!! I--
You think you've got guts, try raising my kids.
A dash of rosemary... a smidgin of thyme... a pinch of marjoram...
You know, Marge, you make the best pork chops in the whole world.
Oh now, Homer, they're nothing special. The extra ingredient is care.
A sprinkle of chervil, half a teaspoon of turmeric... and a whisper of MSG.
Marge, I'm gonna build you a spice rack!
You don't have to go to all that trouble just for me.
It's no trouble. I've got a whole garageful of tools I never use.
Hey, kids! I spy Itchy and Scratchy off the port bow!
Hey, down in front!
Shut up, boy.
THEY FIGHT, THEY BITE / THEY FIGHT AND BITE AND FIGHT / FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT / BITE, BITE, BITE / THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW.
I knew all this stuff would come in handy some day. Let's see now... ah, here it is. The Complete Handyman's Bookshelf. Volume One. Spice Rack.
Pick - up - a - ham - mer...
Wowww....
Hey, Dad. Can you move your head?
No, I can't. It's broken.
Humph... where would an innocent child get the idea to attack her father with a mallet?
No, Maggie! Bad baby!
Keep her away from me, Marge! She's got that crazy look in her eyes again.
So television's responsible.
Hey, Mom. What're doing?/We were watching that!
Well, you won't be watching these cartoons anymore. Ever.
But, Mom! If you take our cartoons away, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.
Really? What kind of robots?
I heard about the cartoons. Tough break, man.
Thanks, Nelson.
Hey, what if you watch Itchy and Scratchy over at my house?
Hey... That's just crazy enough to work.
You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. I told you. My baby beat me up. Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Wise guy.
I wonder why Bart and Lisa are so late getting home from school?
Hey, how come you can watch cartoons but the kids can't?
Because.
Because why?
Because I said so.
Because you said so, why?
Homer! I'm trying to work!
Oh. What are you doing?
I'm cataloguing the violence in these cartoons. I don't think adults have ever actually sat down and watched them before.
What kind of warped human being would find that funny?
Heh, heh, heh.
This is the kind of entertainment they think is suitable for younger and more impressionable viewers?
Yeah, but what are ya gonna do?
I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to write a letter.
Dear Purveyors of Senseless Violence: I know this may sound silly at first...
... but I believe that the cartoons you show to our children are influencing their behavior in a negative way...
... please try to tone down the psychotic violence...
"... in your otherwise fine programming. Yours truly, Marge Simpson."
Take a letter, Miss White. "Dear Valued Viewer: Thank you for taking an interest in the Itchy and Scratchy Program. Enclosed is a personally autographed photo of America's favorite cat and mouse team to add to your collection."
"In regards to your specific comments about the show, our research indicates that one person cannot make a difference, no matter how big a screwball she is. So, let me close by saying...
... and the horse I rode in on!?
Everybody's looking at us, Marge.
Well, that's what we want them to do, Homer.
Oh. Well, how long are we going to have to be doing this?
Well, I've never changed the world before, so I don't know how long it takes exactly. But if enough people take an interest...
Hello, Marge! Oh what is "S-N-U-H?"
It stands for "Springfieldians
Huh huh.
for Nonviolence, Understanding and Helping."
I've started a crusade against cartoon violence.
Hmmm, hmmm.
I can protect my own children.
Hmmm, hmmm.
but there are many others whose minds are being warped every afternoon at four.
That reminds me. I've gotta get over to Milhouse's and... uh... play sports.
All right.
And I'm going over to Janey's again. We're going to be... um... making the most of our childhood years.
Have fun.
We will.
Oh, oh, baby!
And what happens when a child grows up with insanely violent role models like these?
The answer is all around you.
How many of you were hit on the head with mallets last week?
I didn't know they still made TV dinners this bad.
After dinner, can I watch cartoons?
There's peas in my fruit cobbler.
There's peas everywhere.
Oop, I guess I'll just go and watch some cartoons.
No. I'm sorry about the dinners. I'll make up for it tomorrow night.
Hey, who's up for some cartoons?
No one.
All right.
Hey, tomorrow night, how about making some of your patented pork chops?
Hmmm, sure. Oh, dear. I can't. I've got three protest rallies tomorrow.
Twenty million women in the world and I had to marry Jane Fonda.
Guess what, Sideshow Mel? It's time for Itchy & Scratchy!
Hey, hey. Settle down, boys and girls, or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend Corporal Punishment again.
Please . Stop it. What's going... Who are you people?
What do we want?
Substantially-less-violence-in-children's-programming!
When do we want it?
What do we want?
HER GROUP
Substantially-less
violence-in children's-program-ming.
No! You're ruining the show. Oh... Oh... Oh. Stop.
Please stop. Please. Be quiet.
Oh, please. All right. I'm trying to earn a living here. All right! Stop! Stop!

I love you too, son. You know, boy, I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do right --

I'm going to make it! I'm going to make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world! Woo hoo! Woo hoo!! I--

You think you've got guts, try raising my kids.

A dash of rosemary... a smidgin of thyme... a pinch of marjoram...

You know, Marge, you make the best pork chops in the whole world.

Oh now, Homer, they're nothing special. The extra ingredient is care.

A sprinkle of chervil, half a teaspoon of turmeric... and a whisper of MSG.

Marge, I'm gonna build you a spice rack!

You don't have to go to all that trouble just for me.

It's no trouble. I've got a whole garageful of tools I never use.

Hey, kids! I spy Itchy and Scratchy off the port bow!

Hey, down in front!

Shut up, boy.

THEY FIGHT, THEY BITE / THEY FIGHT AND BITE AND FIGHT / FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT / BITE, BITE, BITE / THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW.

I knew all this stuff would come in handy some day. Let's see now... ah, here it is. The Complete Handyman's Bookshelf. Volume One. Spice Rack.

Pick - up - a - ham - mer...

Wowww....

Hey, Dad. Can you move your head?

No, I can't. It's broken.

Humph... where would an innocent child get the idea to attack her father with a mallet?

No, Maggie! Bad baby!

Keep her away from me, Marge! She's got that crazy look in her eyes again.

So television's responsible.

Hey, Mom. What're doing?/We were watching that!

Well, you won't be watching these cartoons anymore. Ever.

But, Mom! If you take our cartoons away, we'll grow up without a sense of humor and be robots.

Really? What kind of robots?

I heard about the cartoons. Tough break, man.

Thanks, Nelson.

Hey, what if you watch Itchy and Scratchy over at my house?

Hey... That's just crazy enough to work.

You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week. I told you. My baby beat me up. Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Wise guy.

I wonder why Bart and Lisa are so late getting home from school?

Hey, how come you can watch cartoons but the kids can't?

Because.

Because why?

Because I said so.

Because you said so, why?

Homer! I'm trying to work!

Oh. What are you doing?

I'm cataloguing the violence in these cartoons. I don't think adults have ever actually sat down and watched them before.

What kind of warped human being would find that funny?

Heh, heh, heh.

This is the kind of entertainment they think is suitable for younger and more impressionable viewers?

Yeah, but what are ya gonna do?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to write a letter.

Dear Purveyors of Senseless Violence: I know this may sound silly at first...

... but I believe that the cartoons you show to our children are influencing their behavior in a negative way...

... please try to tone down the psychotic violence...

"... in your otherwise fine programming. Yours truly, Marge Simpson."

Take a letter, Miss White. "Dear Valued Viewer: Thank you for taking an interest in the Itchy and Scratchy Program. Enclosed is a personally autographed photo of America's favorite cat and mouse team to add to your collection."

"In regards to your specific comments about the show, our research indicates that one person cannot make a difference, no matter how big a screwball she is. So, let me close by saying...

... and the horse I rode in on!?

Everybody's looking at us, Marge.

Well, that's what we want them to do, Homer.

Oh. Well, how long are we going to have to be doing this?

Well, I've never changed the world before, so I don't know how long it takes exactly. But if enough people take an interest...

Hello, Marge! Oh what is "S-N-U-H?"

It stands for "Springfieldians

Huh huh.

for Nonviolence, Understanding and Helping."

I've started a crusade against cartoon violence.

Hmmm, hmmm.

I can protect my own children.

Hmmm, hmmm.

but there are many others whose minds are being warped every afternoon at four.

That reminds me. I've gotta get over to Milhouse's and... uh... play sports.

All right.

And I'm going over to Janey's again. We're going to be... um... making the most of our childhood years.

Have fun.

We will.

Oh, oh, baby!

And what happens when a child grows up with insanely violent role models like these?

The answer is all around you.

How many of you were hit on the head with mallets last week?

I didn't know they still made TV dinners this bad.

After dinner, can I watch cartoons?

There's peas in my fruit cobbler.

There's peas everywhere.

Oop, I guess I'll just go and watch some cartoons.

No. I'm sorry about the dinners. I'll make up for it tomorrow night.

Hey, who's up for some cartoons?

No one.

All right.

Hey, tomorrow night, how about making some of your patented pork chops?

Hmmm, sure. Oh, dear. I can't. I've got three protest rallies tomorrow.

Twenty million women in the world and I had to marry Jane Fonda.

Guess what, Sideshow Mel? It's time for Itchy & Scratchy!

Hey, hey. Settle down, boys and girls, or Krusty will have to bring out his old friend Corporal Punishment again.

Please . Stop it. What's going... Who are you people?

What do we want?

Substantially-less-violence-in-children's-programming!

When do we want it?

What do we want?

HER GROUP

Substantially-less

violence-in children's-program-ming.

No! You're ruining the show. Oh... Oh... Oh. Stop.

Please stop. Please. Be quiet.

Oh, please. All right. I'm trying to earn a living here. All right! Stop! Stop!