jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Aye-aye! Admiral Butthead.
We now return to "Two for Tunsia" on Colorization Theater.
Ah, my love... A million poets could try for a million years and still describe but three-eighths of your beauty.
Ohhh, slow down, Frenchy! This stuff is gold.
Wow, "a million poets working for a million years"... You're so lucky. When are you gonna meet him?
First, I asked him to send a photo.
Uh... huh.
If he's got everything where it should be, I'm reelin' him in.
Strap on your skates Gordie, you're going in.
Hey Marge, do you want to hear something funny? Flanders thinks I swear too much. Marge, you're not laughing.
Well, you know, maybe he's right.
Well what a surprise. Marge sticks up for Flanders! Can we have one conversation where you don't bring up your hero, Ned Flanders?
Actually, Homer, you brought up Ned Flanders. I never said a word --
Look, we're past that. Marge, maybe I do curse a little, but that's the way God made me. And I'm too old to stop now.
No, you're not. When my father got out of the Navy, he used to curse a blue streak. It almost cost him his job as a baby photographer. So, my mom put a Swear Jar in the kitchen. Every time he said a bad word, he put in a quarter. What do you think?
Well Marge, self-improvement has always been a passion of mine. Bring on the swear jar.
Do I have to pay if I hit my hand with the hammer?
Yes, Homer.
What if I catch on fire?
No, Homer.
What if I see something really weird in the sky?
Yes, Homer.
What about when we snuggle?
Uh... that's okay.
"Dear Woodrow, it's time for us to meet. Why don't we go out to dinner and afterward we can go to my apartment for some home cookin'."
Huh? Aye carumba!
...Hungrily yours, Edna."
Well, she's dangled on the line long enough. It's time to boat this bass.
When I read your letters, I feel as if you are right here watching me...
Bart! Eyes down.
Yes, ma'am.
"Edna, every second until we meet stabs me like a thousand needles..."
"Join me at the Gilded Truffle this Saturday at eight. Perhaps later we will smooch up a storm. Sexily yours, Woody."
I can't help but feel partly responsible.
Homer, that was a twenty.
Ohh, you son-of-a.
Hey Homer, Ya know, I owe you one, buddy. No sooner had I shaved off the old cookie duster, than a lady cast me in a commercial.
Ah, I tell ya the way these checks keep coming in, it's almost criminal.
You dirty bas...
What do ya think, Lisa?
How's the dog supposed to get in?
Well, he just goes... Ohhh
Oh, Woodrow. How could you stand me up?
Mrs. K, whoever this guy is, you don't need him. There are plenty of good men around.
Name one.
What's wrong with Principal Skinner?
Seymour? Huh, let's just say his mommy won't let him out to play.
What about Coach Fortner?
Glug, glug, glug, glug...
Wow! What about Groundskeeper Willie?
I'm not even gonna tell you what that guy's into. Bart, you're the closest thing to a man in my life. And that's so depressing, I think I'm gonna cry.
Oh fudge, that's broken.
Fiddle dee dee. That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to kick this doghouse down.
Dad, this is not a commentary on your skills, but we bought you a new doghouse.
Where'd you get the money?
There was more than enough in the swear jar. And if you look inside the doghouse, there's a little surprise.
Maggie. Oh. Cute.
No, behind her.
Beer! How did you know?
Where's Maggie? Where's Maggie?
There's Maggie!
Mom, this is a little ahead of schedule, but I need help with my love life.
Oh, my special little guy has a sweetheart.
I knew it. All right, Bart, who's your girlfriend?
Mrs. Krabappel.
Bart, this is your teacher? I should start going to parents night.
Homer! Bart, you did a very cruel thing.
Boy, you've got to go to your teacher and tell her the truth.
No, Homer. The truth would humiliate her.
Oh, Marge. I only said it because I thought that's what you wanted to hear.
Maybe we should write her another letter. One that says good-bye but lets her feel loved.
Step aside everyone. Sensitive love letters are my specialty.
"Dear Baby, welcome to Dumpville. Population: you."
We'll all help.
"Though I'll be inoculating babies in Kampuchea, my heart will always be with you."
That sucks. How 'bout, "Crocodiles bit off my face."
That's disgusting. And besides, when a woman loves a man, it doesn't matter that a crocodile bit off his face.
I may hold you to that, Marge.
"Okay, okay... I cannot see you for the next five years, for I will be farming the ocean floor."
"I must finish this letter quickly, for I have only four minutes to live."
Three simple words. I am gay.
Homer, for the last time, I am not putting that in.
"And any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name... Edna!"
Oh, that's very good, Lisa.
P.S. -- I am gay.
How shall we end it?
How about, "With a love that will echo through the ages?"
Oh, that's sweet.
Ohhh, Homer, you old honey dripper.
Why you little...
Wait! Wait!
"Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why I cannot say. Where? You cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name... Edna."
Bart, it's such a nice day today. Let's have detention outside.
It's a date.
Mmm, do - nuts.
Hey Homer, slow down. You're gonna choke or somethin'.
Don't tell me how to eat donuts --
Hey, Homer's choking again.
Hmm. Isn't there a first aid chart around here somewhere?
Somebody scare him.

Aye-aye! Admiral Butthead.

We now return to "Two for Tunsia" on Colorization Theater.

Ah, my love... A million poets could try for a million years and still describe but three-eighths of your beauty.

Ohhh, slow down, Frenchy! This stuff is gold.

Wow, "a million poets working for a million years"... You're so lucky. When are you gonna meet him?

First, I asked him to send a photo.

Uh... huh.

If he's got everything where it should be, I'm reelin' him in.

Strap on your skates Gordie, you're going in.

Hey Marge, do you want to hear something funny? Flanders thinks I swear too much. Marge, you're not laughing.

Well, you know, maybe he's right.

Well what a surprise. Marge sticks up for Flanders! Can we have one conversation where you don't bring up your hero, Ned Flanders?

Actually, Homer, you brought up Ned Flanders. I never said a word --

Look, we're past that. Marge, maybe I do curse a little, but that's the way God made me. And I'm too old to stop now.

No, you're not. When my father got out of the Navy, he used to curse a blue streak. It almost cost him his job as a baby photographer. So, my mom put a Swear Jar in the kitchen. Every time he said a bad word, he put in a quarter. What do you think?

Well Marge, self-improvement has always been a passion of mine. Bring on the swear jar.

Do I have to pay if I hit my hand with the hammer?

Yes, Homer.

What if I catch on fire?

No, Homer.

What if I see something really weird in the sky?

Yes, Homer.

What about when we snuggle?

Uh... that's okay.

"Dear Woodrow, it's time for us to meet. Why don't we go out to dinner and afterward we can go to my apartment for some home cookin'."

Huh? Aye carumba!

...Hungrily yours, Edna."

Well, she's dangled on the line long enough. It's time to boat this bass.

When I read your letters, I feel as if you are right here watching me...

Bart! Eyes down.

Yes, ma'am.

"Edna, every second until we meet stabs me like a thousand needles..."

"Join me at the Gilded Truffle this Saturday at eight. Perhaps later we will smooch up a storm. Sexily yours, Woody."

I can't help but feel partly responsible.

Homer, that was a twenty.

Ohh, you son-of-a.

Hey Homer, Ya know, I owe you one, buddy. No sooner had I shaved off the old cookie duster, than a lady cast me in a commercial.

Ah, I tell ya the way these checks keep coming in, it's almost criminal.

You dirty bas...

What do ya think, Lisa?

How's the dog supposed to get in?

Well, he just goes... Ohhh

Oh, Woodrow. How could you stand me up?

Mrs. K, whoever this guy is, you don't need him. There are plenty of good men around.

Name one.

What's wrong with Principal Skinner?

Seymour? Huh, let's just say his mommy won't let him out to play.

What about Coach Fortner?

Glug, glug, glug, glug...

Wow! What about Groundskeeper Willie?

I'm not even gonna tell you what that guy's into. Bart, you're the closest thing to a man in my life. And that's so depressing, I think I'm gonna cry.

Oh fudge, that's broken.

Fiddle dee dee. That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to kick this doghouse down.

Dad, this is not a commentary on your skills, but we bought you a new doghouse.

Where'd you get the money?

There was more than enough in the swear jar. And if you look inside the doghouse, there's a little surprise.

Maggie. Oh. Cute.

No, behind her.

Beer! How did you know?

Where's Maggie? Where's Maggie?

There's Maggie!

Mom, this is a little ahead of schedule, but I need help with my love life.

Oh, my special little guy has a sweetheart.

I knew it. All right, Bart, who's your girlfriend?

Mrs. Krabappel.

Bart, this is your teacher? I should start going to parents night.

Homer! Bart, you did a very cruel thing.

Boy, you've got to go to your teacher and tell her the truth.

No, Homer. The truth would humiliate her.

Oh, Marge. I only said it because I thought that's what you wanted to hear.

Maybe we should write her another letter. One that says good-bye but lets her feel loved.

Step aside everyone. Sensitive love letters are my specialty.

"Dear Baby, welcome to Dumpville. Population: you."

We'll all help.

"Though I'll be inoculating babies in Kampuchea, my heart will always be with you."

That sucks. How 'bout, "Crocodiles bit off my face."

That's disgusting. And besides, when a woman loves a man, it doesn't matter that a crocodile bit off his face.

I may hold you to that, Marge.

"Okay, okay... I cannot see you for the next five years, for I will be farming the ocean floor."

"I must finish this letter quickly, for I have only four minutes to live."

Three simple words. I am gay.

Homer, for the last time, I am not putting that in.

"And any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name... Edna!"

Oh, that's very good, Lisa.

P.S. -- I am gay.

How shall we end it?

How about, "With a love that will echo through the ages?"

Oh, that's sweet.

Ohhh, Homer, you old honey dripper.

Why you little...

Wait! Wait!

"Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why I cannot say. Where? You cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name... Edna."

Bart, it's such a nice day today. Let's have detention outside.

It's a date.

Mmm, do - nuts.

Hey Homer, slow down. You're gonna choke or somethin'.

Don't tell me how to eat donuts --

Hey, Homer's choking again.

Hmm. Isn't there a first aid chart around here somewhere?

Somebody scare him.