jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
You're Darryl Strawberry.
You play right field.
I play right field too.
Well, are you better than me?
Well, I've never met you, but... yes.
It's not fair. Me and the guys worked so hard to get to the championship game and now we'll be sitting on a bench.
You hit so many home runs this year. What makes you think this Darryl Strawberry character is better than you?
Marge, forget it. He's bigger than me, faster than me, stronger than me and he already has more friends around the plant than I do.
You make me sick Homer. You're the one who told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it.
Well now that you're a little bit older, I can tell you that's a crock. No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
Gotcha. Can't win, don't try.
As your new manager, I want to say this up front. No one is assured a spot in the starting line-up. I don't care if your name is Steve Sax, Darryl Strawberry, or... Smithers, what's one of the bad players' names?
Homer Simpson, sir.
Or Homer Simpson.
Secondly, instead of beer, from now on you will all be drinking this!
It's a brain and nerve tonic. Rich in proteids and electromagnetic juices. It promotes robust health. Of course, it has been known to cause gigantism, but only in rare cases. Try some.
Wow! It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.
Excellent. Now, let's begin our training, shall we? Smithers -- the medicine balls.
What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?
Oh, I don't know. Throw it on the pile, I suppose.
You are all very good players.
We are all very good players.
You will beat Shelbyville.
We will beat Shelbyville.
You will give one hundred and ten percent.
That's impossible no one can give more than one hundred percent. By definition that is the most any one can give.
I got it! I got it!
Hey, I called for that!
Put a lid on it, Simpson. There's no "I" in "team".
Some of these guys have a bad attitude, skip.
They sure do, Strawberry.
Wait a minute, are you Ken Griffey Jr.?
Hey Scioscia, I don't get it. You're a ringer but you're here every night, in the core, bustin' your butt haulin' radioactive waste.
Well Carl, it's such a relief from the pressures of playing big league ball. I mean, there you make any kind of mistake and boom, the press is all over you.
Ah, don't worry about it.
Oh man, is this ever sweet.
Pick me! Pick me!
I pick Ken Griffey Jr.
Aw geez... okay, I'll take Milhouse.
Hey, Mr. Boggs! Will you be on my team?
You got yourself a player.
Damn! All right, I'll take Lewis.
I'll take Jose Canseco.
Mattingly! Get rid of those sideburns!
What sideburns?
You heard me, hippy.
Mattingly! Get rid of those sideburns.
What sideburns?
You heard me, hippie.
These guys aren't so tough. I've got "Wonder Bat."
Take a knee boys.
Tomorrow is the biggest day of your lives. The Shelbyville game. So lights out at seven-thirty and abstain from coffee, tea, and cola drinks. Make no mistake, they pack a wallop.
Sure do, Skip.
Yes. Now, before I post the starting line-up I want to assure those of you whose names are not on the list, that I'm very disappointed in you. Something was lacking, let's call it heart.
No hustle either, Skip.
That's right, Darryl.
Aw, nuts!
Please, please, please, I want to make the team. Clemens, did I make the team?
You sure did.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get your hopes up.
Smithers, there's no way I can lose this bet. Unless, of course, my nine all-stars fall victim to nine separate misfortunes and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen. Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunes, there's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes... I'd like to see that.
What a nice little town. Maybe I'll buy a home here when I retire.
What seems to be the problem, officers?
That's enough out of you, smart guy.
Reach for your license... slowly.
Well well, Steve Sax from New York City.
I heard some guy got killed in New York City, and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that -- now would you Steve?
But there's hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you Saxy boy?
Uh, Mike, try to lift your arm.
Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.
Well, I'm afraid you have a case of acute radiation poisoning, Mr. Scioscia.
Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow?
No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breathe.
Oh... man.
Dr. Hibbert, Ken Griffey, Jr. needs to see you immediately. We think it's an overdose of nerve tonic.
Good Lord! Gigantism!
My baby! My baby!
Don't worry, ma'am -- I'll save your baby.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Conseco.
My cat!
Never fear, ma'am! I'll save your cat!
My player piano!
Oh, man.
One thing I'm good at and I can't do it anymore.
Oh, Homie. You're good at lots of things.
Like what?
Like snuggling...
Yeah, but none of my friends can watch me.
And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.
Pit the Elder.
Lord Palmerston!
Pit the Elder!
Okay, you asked for it, Boggs!
Yeah, that's showin' him, Barney. Pit the Elder.
Lord Palmerston!
Nice work, boys. I think we can close the book on just about every unsolved crime in our fair city.
Don't I at least get to call my lawyer?
You watch too many movies, Sax.
How long does it take to see this thing? I'm kind of in a hurry.

You're Darryl Strawberry.

You play right field.

I play right field too.

Well, are you better than me?

Well, I've never met you, but... yes.

It's not fair. Me and the guys worked so hard to get to the championship game and now we'll be sitting on a bench.

You hit so many home runs this year. What makes you think this Darryl Strawberry character is better than you?

Marge, forget it. He's bigger than me, faster than me, stronger than me and he already has more friends around the plant than I do.

You make me sick Homer. You're the one who told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it.

Well now that you're a little bit older, I can tell you that's a crock. No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

Gotcha. Can't win, don't try.

As your new manager, I want to say this up front. No one is assured a spot in the starting line-up. I don't care if your name is Steve Sax, Darryl Strawberry, or... Smithers, what's one of the bad players' names?

Homer Simpson, sir.

Or Homer Simpson.

Secondly, instead of beer, from now on you will all be drinking this!

It's a brain and nerve tonic. Rich in proteids and electromagnetic juices. It promotes robust health. Of course, it has been known to cause gigantism, but only in rare cases. Try some.

Wow! It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.

Excellent. Now, let's begin our training, shall we? Smithers -- the medicine balls.

What are you going to do with your million dollars, sir?

Oh, I don't know. Throw it on the pile, I suppose.

You are all very good players.

We are all very good players.

You will beat Shelbyville.

We will beat Shelbyville.

You will give one hundred and ten percent.

That's impossible no one can give more than one hundred percent. By definition that is the most any one can give.

I got it! I got it!

Hey, I called for that!

Put a lid on it, Simpson. There's no "I" in "team".

Some of these guys have a bad attitude, skip.

They sure do, Strawberry.

Wait a minute, are you Ken Griffey Jr.?

Hey Scioscia, I don't get it. You're a ringer but you're here every night, in the core, bustin' your butt haulin' radioactive waste.

Well Carl, it's such a relief from the pressures of playing big league ball. I mean, there you make any kind of mistake and boom, the press is all over you.

Ah, don't worry about it.

Oh man, is this ever sweet.

Pick me! Pick me!

I pick Ken Griffey Jr.

Aw geez... okay, I'll take Milhouse.

Hey, Mr. Boggs! Will you be on my team?

You got yourself a player.

Damn! All right, I'll take Lewis.

I'll take Jose Canseco.

Mattingly! Get rid of those sideburns!

What sideburns?

You heard me, hippy.

Mattingly! Get rid of those sideburns.

What sideburns?

You heard me, hippie.

These guys aren't so tough. I've got "Wonder Bat."

Take a knee boys.

Tomorrow is the biggest day of your lives. The Shelbyville game. So lights out at seven-thirty and abstain from coffee, tea, and cola drinks. Make no mistake, they pack a wallop.

Sure do, Skip.

Yes. Now, before I post the starting line-up I want to assure those of you whose names are not on the list, that I'm very disappointed in you. Something was lacking, let's call it heart.

No hustle either, Skip.

That's right, Darryl.

Aw, nuts!

Please, please, please, I want to make the team. Clemens, did I make the team?

You sure did.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get your hopes up.

Smithers, there's no way I can lose this bet. Unless, of course, my nine all-stars fall victim to nine separate misfortunes and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen. Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunes, there's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes... I'd like to see that.

What a nice little town. Maybe I'll buy a home here when I retire.

What seems to be the problem, officers?

That's enough out of you, smart guy.

Reach for your license... slowly.

Well well, Steve Sax from New York City.

I heard some guy got killed in New York City, and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that -- now would you Steve?

But there's hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.

You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you Saxy boy?

Uh, Mike, try to lift your arm.

Can't... lift... arm... or... speak... at... normal... rate.

Well, I'm afraid you have a case of acute radiation poisoning, Mr. Scioscia.

Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow?

No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breathe.

Oh... man.

Dr. Hibbert, Ken Griffey, Jr. needs to see you immediately. We think it's an overdose of nerve tonic.

Good Lord! Gigantism!

My baby! My baby!

Don't worry, ma'am -- I'll save your baby.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Conseco.

My cat!

Never fear, ma'am! I'll save your cat!

My player piano!

Oh, man.

One thing I'm good at and I can't do it anymore.

Oh, Homie. You're good at lots of things.

Like what?

Like snuggling...

Yeah, but none of my friends can watch me.

And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston.

Pit the Elder.

Lord Palmerston!

Pit the Elder!

Okay, you asked for it, Boggs!

Yeah, that's showin' him, Barney. Pit the Elder.

Lord Palmerston!

Nice work, boys. I think we can close the book on just about every unsolved crime in our fair city.

Don't I at least get to call my lawyer?

You watch too many movies, Sax.

How long does it take to see this thing? I'm kind of in a hurry.