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rick-and-morty-script

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Riq IV:
Why not shoot through her?
Rick:
20 yards, nine-gauge plasma pistol, My first shot would liquify her insides and injure you, second shot adds recoil. The risk to me is minimized if I wait for you to shoot her, which I'm encouraging you to do.
Summer:
What the fuck?
Rick:
Or let her go, which I will reward with a quicker death.
Riq IV:
Because you love her!
Rick:
Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, which will be your least painful death. But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl.
Summer:
I hate you!
Rick:
Not an issue, sweetie.
Morty:
That's enough! Drop the gun, Rick!
Rick:
Morty, I know you're too stupid to get this, but you're really fuckin' this up right now.
Morty:
I'm not letting you let my sister die! Drop the gun!
Rick:
I wasn't gonna let her die, you fuckin' moron!
Riq IV:
Ha!
Summer:
Aww.
Rick:
The point is he thought I was going to.
Riq IV:
I totally did, by the way. You're a fucking moron, Morty.
Summer:
Morty, you fucking idiot!
Rick:
You're a serious fuckin' idiot, Morty! You basically killed us all! You're the worst! You're as dumb as a bag of sand.
Morty:
Who's stupid now, bitch?!
Summer:
Morty, we just got him back!
Riq IV:
That was amazing, Morty. Oh, my God. Wow. Okay, let's wrap this-
Rick:
Good job, Morty. Let's go, kids.
Summer:
What?! What happened?
Rick:
Oldest Rick trick in the book.
Summer:
Fake gun, shoot me in standoff." Brilliant.
Morty:
Ha, yeah. G-Good thing I saw that note.
Summer:
Can't we just portal home?
Rick:
Not until I finish what I started. And that is how you get level-nine access without a password.
Rick:
Employee of the month, ladies and gentlemen.
Morty:
So, what are you doing with level-nine access anyways?
Rick:
Destroying the galactic government.
Summer:
Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other?
Morty:
Ooh, or -- or reprogram their military portals to disintegrate their entire space fleet?
Rick: