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rick-and-morty-script

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Rick:
So, you're origin is what? Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy?
Supernova:
Noob-Noob, we're having a briefing! If I can continue, Rick. I anticipate sophisticated security measures. I trust you can be of service there.
Rick:
Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. Ability to do anything... But only whenever I want... Yeah, that sounds like a job for me.
Alan:
I wish he had the ability to check is attitude.
Rick:
Alan Rails, ladies and gentleman. After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghiost trains. It's not all bad, though. They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle!
Rick:
Thanks, Noob-Noob! This guy gets it.
Morty:
Vance Maximus, Renegade Star Soldier!
Vance:
Sorry I'm late. It was happy hour.
Morty:
Happy hour.
Rick:
Uh, I was also late because of my drinking and metioned it to zero applause.
Vance:
Rick Sanchez, Tinkerer of Terror. Man, that's hard to say. And... Morty, right?
Morty:
Whoa, yeah!
Vance:
I never forget a kid. What do you say, Vindicators? Let's make this three for three?
Morty:
Did he say "three for three"?
Rick:
Did he say he never forgets a kid?
Morty:
You mean "two for two", right, Vance?
Supernova:
Actually, we assembled a second time last summer to fight Doomnomitron.
Morty:
So, this is... Vindicators 3? And you guys did Vindicators 2... w-without us?
Million Ants:
I sense... insecurity.
Vance:
Are you sure there's not just a picnic nearby.
Rick:
I guess he found his crowd. Pretty toothless stuff, guys.
Rick:
I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Morty. These guys are even lamer than last time.
Morty:
We weren't here "last time", remember? They did a whole Vindicators without us. A bunch of them got killed, too. They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde...
Rick:
Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there.
Morty:
This article says the reason we weren't involved was... "personality conflicts".
Rick:
Don't worry, Morty, they love you. Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along and react to everything like it's mind-blowing.
Morty:
I... think the personality conflict might have been... you.
Rick:
Jesus... How awesome is that? I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, they murdered three innocent heroes of color, and they still had to bring me back?
Morty:
Rick, since it's my adventure and all, could you do me a favor?
Rick:
Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty. Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. I mean, w-w-w-what--what are we vindicating? Comfort?
Morty:
Rick, this really bums me out. It-It's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us.
Rick:
Why? Morty, I defeat gagoos more powerful than these guys every week.
Morty:
Yeah, but not heroes.
Rick: