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rick-and-morty-script

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Vance:
Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, not this psycho trailer-park shit!
Morty:
Vance, stay calm...
Vance:
Oh, so you're the leader now because we gave you a jacket?! You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo-ops with!
Morty:
Okay, ouch, but...
Vance:
Okay, this... this is triggering me. I need space. I-I need SPACE! FROM THIS!
Alan:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush your windpipe!
Rick:
Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh.
Rick:
And because, like I said, I don't remember last night.
Alan:
I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back!
Rick:
Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, but if you keep coming at me, there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train.
Morty:
Guys! I've figured it out.
Drunk Rick:
Congrats! You did it-- it!
Morty:
It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you. Drunk Rick's point is that none of you are very special or different. That's always his point.
Supernova:
Let's just get through this as quickly as possible. Then, we'll deal with the two of you.
Morty:
The two of us?! I hope you're proud of yourself!
Rick:
Uh, I kind of am. I saved the goddamn universe.
Morty:
That's not the issue, Rick!
Rick:
Ahh, it would've been if I hadn't.
Drunk Rick:
The Vindicators say their job is is to fight evil wherever it hides, but they don't... pick the location you'll... you'll never even hear them mention, because to fight darkness is to fight yourself.
Supernova:
Crocubot, don't!
Rick:
Huh, I'm seeing more croc than bot here.
Supernova:
Goddammit!
Morty:
Uh, what happened on Dorian 5?
Supernova:
Nothing!
Alan:
Nothing?! We exterminated a planet!
Morty:
W-Wait, huh?
Supernova:
Doomnomitron was hiding here! He's a shapeshifter! Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him!
Morty:
Oh, o-okay. This again?
Rick:
You know, I could have made a device to detect Doomnomitron from orbit like that.
Supernova:
I'm not the one that didn't want you back. Alan was!
Alan:
If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time...
Million Ants:
Do not threaten her!
Drunk Rick:
Congrats, you did it!
Supernova: