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" No , I 'm not saying it to be funny . Well , maybe a little . But I mean , when you do that , it feels like you 're not just doing it , you 're really . . well … You put your heart into it . Sorry , I 've no other words to describe it . And it 's amazing , in case that part wasn 't clear . " " Now just wait a minute . No . That makes no sense . The first one who comes ? That 's not necessarily the best one ! You could totally have a quick mediocre orgasm . " I told D I was ready for our children to meet . So far , we 've been having a secretive affair , mostly meeting at night , sneaking out and leaving by dark . I haven 't met his friends . He 's met mine once , at my birthday party , where we were all crazy drunk . So I wrote him a letter , about the separation we 've created between our relationship and our lives , how we 're conducting an affair within this bubble of nightly encounters , in which we love each other and have great sex , and offer one another a brief moment of peace before going back to our hectic schedules . I presented it as if it were a bad thing . I said I was ready to take our relationship to the next level , the one where it is integrated with the rest of our existence . Where we meet during the day as our kids play , or have Friday evening dinners together . He answered kindly . He said he loved me , but he wasn 't ready . He said he 'd only recently been given back his life , after eight years in which he felt like he wasn 't allowed to be himself . And now , he 's healing , and it 'll take time . This is why he can 't move any further with me . The first thing I sensed from his letter was love . It was tenderly written . Then I saw the immense pain , the scabs and wounds , and I was thankful he shared them with me . Then I realized , I 'm still following my pattern . Falling for men that aren 't there yet , that like me , are damaged , that like me , are in the midst of a healing process . And it made me really sad . Because until recently , D was exactly what I 'd been craving . A solid relationship , where there was love and understanding and warmth and comfort and great sex , but that was completely separated from the rest of my life . When I met him , I still said things like , " I don 't see myself living with anyone again . " But now that 's changed . I 'm craving such closeness , to have the man I love become a true part of my life . But more than that , I want more than anything for him to choose me - to really choose me . Not just to be with me . I spent 13 years of my life loving someone who loved me a little less , who stopped loving me at one point , who thought about leaving me for six months without my knowledge , through the end of my pregnancy with our child , who left me with a four month old infant . So I 'm constantly looking for proof - that I 'm not just wasting my time , my energy , my emotions on a man who might never be ready for the next step . My insecurity is really getting in the way of my patience . What 's odd , is that actually , our little arrangement meets my needs perfectly . I do love my life , and it is FULL , I mean , it 's hard to squeeze a pin in . My job , my son , my close friends , who are like family to me , my grief , my growth . It almost feels like the only reason I want to move forward with D , is to know that I can , like I 'm still seeking proof that he wants me , that we 're not just passing time . I 'm damaged . He 's damaged . I guess that 's what relationships in your thirties are like . It 's more complicated than it was when in our first time around , falling in love , testing out the waters of closeness . There 's a knowledge that you can 't un - know now , that things end , even when you think they 'll last forever . That people may betray you , even if you think they 're trustworthy . Today is a down day , how surprising , as it 's a Saturday and I am home alone with no itinerary . I woke up at ten and it took me a full hour to get out of bed . Finally I was up , getting some work done in my pajamas . I had some coffee , but I only remembered to eat when I felt like I was going to faint . You 'd think I 'd have this down by now . I just don 't know how to be alone anymore . On a different front , things are going pretty well with D . We seem to have survived my meltdown last Saturday , and our nearly six month old relationship is slowly evolving , two steps forward , one step back . Each in turn pushing forward , and pulling away . It 's like a series of contractions , only less painful and more pleasurable . I clutch and he releases , I release my grip and he tightens his . I 'm desperate , he 's patient , I 'm easy , and I can sense his need . He 's working this weekend and again we 're finding little loopholes in our schedules to see each other . It 's kind of exciting , these hastened lunch breaks and naked afternoon rendezvous . Yesterday , on his way to work , he dropped by for an hour , and I was waiting for him in a tight sheer spaghetti strap top , and a skirt that I never wear without tights , since it 's way too short to be appropriate . But this time I passed on the tights , and underwear too for that matter . It was one of the sexiest encounters I 've had with him , or with anyone . He was beside himself with excitement , and something more , a kid of gratitude that you can only understand if you 've been in a sexless relationship for a long time , especially in one that made you feel emasculated . There he was , showing me in every way that he could not resist me , his body warm , built just the right amount , his biceps streching his Tshirt only slightly , his face unshaven , his bristles prickly as he kissed my shoulders and neck . " I missed you , zalataya . " ( That 's my new nickname ) " A lot . " Minutes later he was naked and on top of me , my skirt rolled up , his arm firm around my neck and his other hand grabbing me by my waist . He moved me , positioned me , and repositioned me , and I loved him in control , molding our bodies like an artist . There 's a moment during sex when my mind goes foggy , and even if I tried I wouldn 't be able to think of anything . All systems shut down . I love that moment . It was such good sex , that when we were done , I kissed him and said thank you . That made him crack up and he said , " I 'm crazy about you . " and after a pause he added , " A lot " . And that made me laugh . We lay there in bed , holding each other and smiling to ourselves , and I wanted to hashtag the moment # Feeling blessed motherfuckers . Yesterday was an up day . I was at work in the morning , then running errands , meeting D , family dinner , and meeting up with J for a beer later that evening . All time accounted for . No time to overthink my life or sink into melancholia . When BD and I were together , for ten years , unmarried and without children , people would delicately pose the question : So … Are you thinking about marriage ? And I 'd say , oh sure , but no need to rush . We don 't want to get married right now . And later on , oh yes , we 're getting married but don 't get your hopes up for kids anytime soon . We 're not at all ready yet . It was a lie . I was ready for marriage when we were together for four years , and were travelling through South America . I was 23 . And I fantasized secretly about him popping the question on one of those magical deserted beaches in Brazil , with the little crabs popping out of their holes in the sand and running around sideways . Once I even said something like one day we can come back here for our honeymoon . He could have shrugged it off , but instead he got really upset . What do you have to go ruin everything for ? It was one of the only fights we ever had in our 13 year long relationship . After that , I learned that some things were better left unsaid . That patience was a virtue . That like my mother , it was my duty to make sure that the man in my life was happy , because that was the secret of long lasting relationships . It was . BD and I could have probably continued on our merry road of quiet content , if it hadn 't been for my desire , that could no longer be suppressed to become a parent . I pushed him into marriage , and he rose to the occasion . And then I pushed him into having a child . We 'd been together for 12 years . I was turning 31 . I told him stories about biological clocks and how these things took time . And I got pregnant ridiculously fast . Like my body had all these eggs lining up throughout my life , waiting for anything that loosely resembled sperm to impregnate them . I 'm pretty sure even porn could have knocked me up , my body was so ready for a baby . A week after the first time we had unprotected sex , my breasts were sore and I was nauseous as fuck . I used to be Disclaimer Girl . The one who could never accept 100 % fulfilment . Happiness came with a warning : " Don 't get your hopes up to high . " It came with a but . Without warnings , without buts people could get disappointed . How 's the new job ? Oh you know , it 's great , but who knows how long I 'll be there . They 're not doing so well financially , they 're constantly laying people off . Oh that 's a lovely dress ! What , this old thing ? I 've had it for years . I bought it on sale . It makes my butt look big doesn 't it ? But yeah , I guess it works . It was a mediocreness of emotions . It restricted how high I could go , but it also protected me . That changed when I first peed on that stick and saw those two little pink lines . I could not restrain my happiness . I couldn 't put a disclaimer on that . No buts when it came to my love for that tiny fertilized egg that would soon enough become my son . BD was not as thrilled . He was highly protective of me , as always , made sure I ate all the right things and didn 't do any heavy lifting . He did all the right things but he did them with a stiffness . He was freaking his shit out . When I was three months pregnant he started talking about going abroad for work . He would be gone for three months , weeks 22 - 35 . It was a great opportunity for him . It could mean more money and a secure future for us both , well , us three . I didn 't think twice . I wanted him to go . Because I believed with all my heart that he would return a changed man . He would be excited about becoming a father . He 'd rise to the occasion . How 's the pregnancy ? Amazing . I 'm sick as hell and alone . But I love it . I wasn 't lying . I hated the nausea and constant puke fest . But I was excited for a life that I was going to have , soon , if I was patient . Wow , you 're so wonderful to let your husband go abroad for so long when you 're pregnant . I didn 't think I was being wonderful . I didn 't think it was my right to tell him not to go . I didn 't want him to go . But that 's because I wanted him to not want to go . I wanted him to want to stay with me . But since he didn 't , what was the point of forcing him to stay ? Three months past and I got used to doing things on my own . Useful experience for later on . Then he was back , in body at least . He worked crazy hours . I barely saw him . He was there for the birth , and I have to give him credit , he was 100 % present there . But shortly after the birth he went back to being a workaholic . Staying late at the office , leaving bath time and bedtime to me . Apologizing over the phone . Saying things like , I 'm here with the gang , we had a long day and decided to get a beer . That 's OK right ? I can leave if you want . Knowing that I would never tell him to leave his friends and come home . Because , even though I was responsible for a new person in my life , it was still my job to keep my husband happy . If he could find balance , if he was not too overwhelmed , if I could somehow make it so that this was not too hard for him , than he 'd rise to the occasion . He 'd be the father I knew he could be . He 'd love me like he was supposed to . It was around that time that he stopped wearing his wedding band . It was around that time that when I told him I loved him , he stopped saying it back . And quickly after , he was gone . And that wasn 't a lie either . I was happy . I had always wanted to be a mother . So even though I was dead tired , even when my Boy was sick and I was taking care of him all by myself , I quickly learned that there was a difference between easy and good . My new life wasn 't easy , for sure . But it was meaningful . It was important . And that made it good . So there were no more buts . Not when it came to my family of two . We were one complete unit and we could listen to Led Zeppelin and dance around the house and love one other to the moon and back without a single disclaimer . It was safe to give him my all . It was harder to implement my no buts policy to other aspects of my life . Oh I like my job , sure , but I don 't really know where it 's going . I mean , I am signing that five year contract , but it doesn 't mean I 'll stay . I can always back out of it . I like this apartment . It 's easy for me to stay here . Sure , it used to be ours . There are some rough memories there , but it 's OK . Yes , I really Iike this guy , I might even love him , but it has no future . We don 't want the same things . It 's good for now . The sex is amazing . Anyway , I 'm not going to be careless this time , I 'm not going to get too attached . Objectively speaking , some utterly crappy stuff has happened to me when I 've let down my guard . I allowed myself to believe BD and I would be together forever and raise our beautiful son together , and he left . I allowed myself to believe M was going to get better . She didn 't . It is very difficult for me to simply believe that things will be good . To be happy with no buts . To relish the moment without preparing myself for tomorrow 's disappointment . BUT , and this is an important BUT . I 'm trying to change that . I know that at the end of the day it is my choice . I can choose now , to put disclaimers before every aspect of my life and make sure that I never get hurt so badly again . It makes sense , for someone like me to do that . Or I can fall blindly in love with my life . I can love my new home , I can trust that preschool will be good for my Boy , I can decide to love my job and embrace its difficulties . And if I want to , I know that I can also love this man , whom I introduced as my boyfriend to my sisters and friends on Thursday , and felt my chest burst with excitement . I do love him , but there are still about 10 , 000 gigantic disclaimers there . His girls . My boy . They need to be protected . They can 't be let down twice . And there 's the other thing . That it 's easier to believe that love is never forever . It always ends at some point . And so , merging lives is , by definition a bad idea . Better to keep things simple . Thursday night I threw a birthday party and he came . We got plastered and danced and he met my friends . It made me want , for a moment , to forget about buts and to just love him . And I have this picture now , that my sister took of us that I look at and think … What if ? And that thought excites me and scares the crap out of me . But I think it 's healthy for me to allow myself to think it . Day 30 was around the corner and we would be going to the cemetery to see the tombstone , followed by eating Indian and watching Life of Brian as she had specifically requested . The weekend before , J , E and I decided to go up North and basically do nothing in an awesome wooden cabin for 24 hours . I was a nervous wreck , and figured the rest would do me good , but rather than getting excited about the road trip , I was having another where - is - this - going meltdown about D . Three months since we 'd started dating , and I had already told him I loved him , and he hadn 't said it back . While I told myself I should give it time , I was beginning to wonder if , every time he says " this was fun " after sex , he actually means that fun is all that this can be . And that made me draw back to the extent that when I slipped and fell in the shower a couple of weeks ago and actually thought I had broken my arm ( which thankfully I didn 't ) I didn 't want him to come over , I preferred to be home alone than to see him . Because when you 're down , you only really want to be around people who love you . Not people who just think you 're fun . So , this mini road trip would be just what I needed . A break from everything , with two of my favorite people by my side , people with whom love is simply not a question . And the trip gave me the guts to have the " where is this going " chat with D , knowing that if the talk went horribly and I felt like shit after , I 'd have my friends there to remind me of what was really important . Oh , and it happened to be valentine 's weekend too . Coincidence ? Thursday arrived , the night before the trip , and D came over after I had put my boy down . I put on a dress , and got some Kasteel Rouge and cheese , and basically made sure everything was pretty . He came in and asked what the occasion was and I just gave him a kiss and smiled . And then as we were sitting down to munch and drink I dropped the bomb on him and said we needed to talk . He smiled , and said he 'd figured . I said , I needed to know if this was going anywhere . And he asked , going where ? I said that he knew I didn 't want to get married again , and that I wasn 't even sure I ever wanted to live with someone again , but that I was looking for companionship , for love , for more that just " fun " . He said : " It 's still too soon for me to know where this is going . I know that you 're incredible and beautiful , and I 'm attracted to you , and I love you , and this is fun , and I want it to continue , and I love you . I don 't know where - " I felt like I could rest , and resting felt good . During the whole time up North I didn 't think about day 30 or the cemetery or anything sad for that matter . I remembered M as I do all the time , but not in a bad way , not in a sad way either , more like in a it - just - feels - good - to - think - about - her way . Then the weekend was over and it was time to get back to reality . And then I was there , at the entrance . I went in . I hugged M 's dad who was very practical about things in his trunk that belonged to M , that he wanted us friends to have a look at . We went to see the tombstone , which was beautiful and unique and I think she would have liked it . Words were said , none of which really represented what M was to me . Her family spoke . They said some religious stuff that I couldn 't connect to and it was pretty much unbearable to be there . I just wanted to leave . Then A spoke , and said something funny about imagining M lying in bed with her eyes closed , waiting for us to leave , assuming she 's gone , so she could finally rest . He imagined her then opening her eyes as the door closed , and rolling them , as if to say , I thought they 'd never leave . Everybody laughed and my laughter turned into uncontrollable sobbing . Because it was the way I will always remember her , cynical and humorous . The Indian food was delicious but didn 't fill the void , and I made a video of everyone singing " always look at the bright side of life " at the end of the movie . Then I went home , and I felt relief that it was over . On Tuesday , D came over , and we ate my famous curry and we drank some beer and had sex and it was good . And it 's been better since . What I realized yesterday though , was that in all this turmoil , I hadn 't realized I was 9 days late with my period . So , I took a test . And I 'm not pregnant . Which is very , very good news . That was a recap of the last couple of weeks , eventful , yeah , difficult , yeah , but you know what ? I think the bottom line of the whole think is how much meaning and love I have in my life . It hurts , obviously , and it also comforts and soothes me . It 's awesome and it 's shitty all at the same time and I wouldn 't have it any other way . Nearly two years ago , M called me at work at to tell me she was going to have a " port " installed . Right after we found out M was sick , she kind of disappeared . I don 't remember if it was for a few days that felt like forever or for a week , maybe even longer . I remember calling her and texting her and getting no answer . I knew from J she was going to have the port installed , to make treatments easier and avoid being constantly stuck with needles , but I couldn 't get a hold of her , and though I realized she probably needed some time alone to process the news , I really wanted to talk to her . That day was a Tuesday , I think . I was still working part time at the school back then . My boy was maybe seven months old , and was home with his babysitter . I had just gotten off work , when I saw her missed call and immediately called her back . It was 1 : 30 pm . " I was worried about you . " was the first thing I said . She answered matter - of - factly : " I 'm having the port installed today . Can you come ? " I answered , " Of course . " And hung up . I had an hour and a half to find someone who could be with my boy that afternoon . I literally called everyone I knew , and finally found an arrangement as I drove to the hospital . She was scared to death , and her fear fed my fear . Sitting there in the waiting room , I realized what was about to happen , I realized that we were in it for a long haul . The nurse asked her something and M answered that she was going to need chemo for the rest of her life . The nurse said , " I 'm sure that 's not true . You have to be optimistic . People have recovered , even in your situation . " I believed her . Even though she had no idea what M 's situation was . Then she went in and was sedated , heavily , because the first dose they gave her didn 't put her down . Jesus , that seems all too familiar . I don 't think I 've written here about the end . How she wanted to sleep , and the vast quantities of morphine she 'd been given just wouldn 't do it . By the time she got out a couple of other friends had gotten there . I don 't remember who , I was so out of it , and at the same time I was playing my role of " having it together " so vigorously that I couldn 't feel anything . Did she need something ? Maybe some water ? Maybe another funny story about my boy to pass the time ? Smile , I told myself . Don 't look scared . She needs you to be strong . By the time I got home I was exhausted . My sister had left everything she was doing , and taken a cab to my old apartment to be with my boy and BD had picked him up in the evening , so I was alone . I sat on the sofa and texted SG , whom I was seeing then . I said , " I know we said we 'd meet tonight , but I 'm really out of it . I 'm sad and tired . Maybe you can just come over and hang out . " He said , " Get dressed , I 'm picking you up in 20 minutes . " And I said , " No , you don 't understand . I want to stay in . " And he said , " No , you don 't understand , we 're going out . " I was too tired to argue . So I got dressed . He took me to an eatery , run by an outstanding chef , whom M despised by the way , for being an arrogant prick , which is true but doesn 't make the food any less incredible . In this place , you can eat the most delicious things you could ever imagine stuffed into a sandwich and served with beer . The place was busy and colorful . The food was delicious . The music was oriental and loud . The beer was cold and satisfying . I think we even did a shot of Arak . I was sitting there with a man who cared enough about me to force me to come out and remember life . And when we came home we took our clothes off and literally did not stop fucking until I couldn 't remember my name . That night I realized that I didn 't always know what was good for me . Sometimes , looking back at my relationship with SG , I tend to discredit what we had . I say things to myself like , he was my first after the breakup , I didn 't know any better , he was just a kid , he lived with his parents for christ 's sake , I knew from the start it wasn 't going anywhere . But none of that changes the fact that SG was perfect for me at the time that I met him . It 's all about grief and comfort . I was grieving when I met SG . Grieving the loss of my husband , father of my son , the loss of my family as I had always imagined it would be . SG was a source of comfort . He loved me , almost instantly . And it wasn 't just saying words . He really went out of him way numerous times to please me , comfort me , to show me he cared . He took me to the opera , and cooked for me , and talked about books with me to the wee hours of the night , and he 'd go down on me for twenty minutes straight , and tell me repetedly how beautiful and deserving I was , and he held me really tightly when I cried , so tightly that it felt like he was going to crush me . And he accepted it when I broke up with him twice to get back together with BD , he said he couldn 't stand between me and my family . I 'm not reminiscing here . It 's been long enough ago that I don 't miss him anymore . I 'm just thankful that I got to have that comfort in my life at that time . And I 'm thankful for all the amazing sources of comfort that I have in my life today . D , for being a sorce of comfort to me these days . For going back to that eatery with me last night and listening to the story about M 's port and SG and for saying about seven times how amazing the cauliflower was , and not just to please me , because he really loved it . And silly as it may sound , it really made me happy that he appreciated it , because that place is special to me , not just because of the food . Me , for knowing I deserve better . Me , for thinking good things of myself , most of the time . Me , for doing it on my own . Me for knowing when to stop doing it on my own and ask for help . Me , for leaning on the people that I love and trust . Grief has a place in my life , especially these days . But exactly three weeks ago , I left M 's bedside at the hospital for the last time , and I 'd told her that we 'd all be fine . I said she didn 't need to worry about us . And it was true . We have many sources of comfort in our lives , and they allow us to experience grief , to fall apart , and to get back up again , and pick up the pieces , and carry on . |
OK ! OK ! Look I 'm not paranoid . I don 't carry a gun ; I have one but I don 't carry it . No , I don 't think there are big headed little green predator men who take us up into the sky and experiment on us for weeks before bring us home again . I also don 't think there are villains behind every door who are predators out there waiting to get me . My wife I 'm not so sure about that . You see , I do believe there are many men , and maybe women too , that are all around us and who are exact predators in the real sense of the word . For this series I will focus mainly on these men , who are very much hunters . They are Alpha individuals who seek out and find certain types of women to seduce and have sex with them . They take their money , and gifts and sometimes their very soles leaving them with nothing . These men enjoy the hunt ! It 's the key essential part of their evil lives . It 's what they live for ! These men take pride in turning an honest loving wife and maybe mother into a fallen whore for their sexuality . These males absolutely love the game and play it all the time . It 's like second nature to them . It starts with the teasing , or an off somewhat color remarks , a little flirting and some light touching of the hand , arm , cheek or maybe the knee that drives them to want more and do more with these women . These men seem to be very friendly , exceptionally kind , nice , even somewhat boy - like at first . While all the time they know what sin and lust is slowly building up inside then and the woman they have scented . Yes , scented ! It 's like they can smell the right ones . These are the ones ripe for the taking ! They can single them out of the herd and this woman for some reason become prime bodies for the taking at that moment in her life . It 's like a wolf that just nip at the heel of their prey so to draw just a little spot of blood . From then on he runs his subject down until he has conquered her . It 's this " blood " scent that drives him into a feeding frenzy or should I say fucking frenzy . It 's almost like they somehow place a trance over these women who have been singled out . She becomes a willing participant knowing exactly what he wants and what is in store for her if she goes with him . Yet , she has little or no defense or wants any . Once nipped , the women seem not to be able to help herself , and surrenders . The draw is so strong she is willing to risk everything for a full taste of the wolf . Meanwhile , these men completely disrespect the laws of marriage and society and care only for that first time when they can plug into her body fully and cum filling her where only her husband should be . It 's the pleasure of the chase yes , but it 's the taking of the vagina for that first time that drives these men on and on and on . It 's like a drug , a sexual drug that makes these men almost scream with victory ! And , while they destroy the woman , these men have little to no use for the husband . While they are seducing the woman they could be friends with the husband until it 's over . Most of the time the husband doesn 't even realize it has happened . In fact these men think the husbands are dumb and useless little men who can 't keep the woman at home and are so dumb they can 't see their women being seduced . These men love to slowly pull the loving wife away from her husband and family . They don 't care if they destroy the marriage or the lives of the two people involved or the lives of their families . They have a lust inside that drives them on and on until they are victorious ! These men fully enjoy the lustfulness of their deeds . In fact , the dirtier the sex act they can make these women perform , the better they enjoyed it . Seeing or hearing the almost pitiful begging for more of it from these women drives these men on to do more and even evil and nasty things with the wife . They use these innocent women and love bringing them down to the level of a cum slut , or street whore . In some cases the women are almost like a slave , allowing sexual acts to be performed on them they would have never believed they were ever capable of doing . All this so these men can receive pleasure and satisfaction for their own personal needs . They enjoy the chase and the conquest almost as much if not more than the actual deed . The only thing better the chase and conquering and that first time he takes her virtue and sinks his cock into her fully is the achievement of the best orgasms of the quick and short relationship . From then on it 's simply another fuck , another female whore being used to satisfy his needs . After that first time , these men like to see how low and degrading they can make these women fall too . The only thing better than that first time he fucks her is the last time when he leaves her alone . If he plants his seed and gives her a child it 's just another notched on his bed board . But , seeing and knowing it 's his child and knowing the wife realizes it 's his is something that stimulates him even further . He knows the wife can 't tell her husband it 's not his for fear of loosing the husband too . Yet he wonders how many husbands know or suspect the child isn 't his . These men could almost cum without so much as touching their cock as they laugh at the wife 's husband who has to begin to support it . This makes these men feel even more manly , more of a stud , more of an Alpha male as he moves on to the next female conquest . Gloria was a beautiful 27years old woman . She and Bud had married when she was twenty years old . He was her first man taking her cherry . They now been married seven years and had two kids , 6 and 7 . But Gloria 's body was almost as solid as when Bud first met her back in high school when she was 17 years old . They dated in high school and then after he came back from the Navy they were marred . The wedding and honeymoon was like a story book romance . They had sex in every conceivable place they could think of during the first 6 months to a year . Then when she had conceived her first child they began to slow down as she got bigger and bigger . Then the following year Billy came along and now with two kids their lives settled into a routine like most marriages . Bud had been fixed to ensure they would have no more children . One of each was enough . As with most marriages once they had kids , things started to slowly regress a little more each year . It was now very complacent with not much going on between them . In fact , she would hardly say a word to Bud as they lay in bed . Most nights she would kiss him good night and just roll over to go to sleep . It seemed he too was always tired during the week for sex too . The weekends were better but not always since they had two kids running around the house . They had to plan their sex rather than make it an adventure like before . They just couldn 't be as spontaneous as both of them use to be . Oh they still loved each but it just wasn 't the same . The quote " spark " wasn 't there like it had been the first two or three years they were married . But whose marriage was ? Both felt like this was how things were with all couples . Not exactly boredom but certainly not the fantastic sexual adventure they had talked about all during high school and in their letters to each other while Bud was in the service . They use to have great sex and he would always make her his priority in the act . Now it was sort of wam bam thank you mam . Or , when they did take their time it was just as good as before if not better since Bud knew all her whistles and bells to touch and ring ! They spent a great deal of time with the kids playing sports and short vacations , etc . They needed a break but Bud had a good job , which paid well but kept him working long hours during the week . He didn 't travel very much . Maybe a week here and there , taking classes to keep current but nothing else and this travel happened about three times each years . Their sex life was down to once or maybe twice a week mostly on Friday and / or Saturday nights . If they got a chance to leave the kids at one of their parents , they did it . Then Bud would usually bring home flowers and wine or take her out to dinner . But they would spend most of the free time they had together in bed making love . Gloria had to admit that she still loved the way Bud made her feel as he pleased her body . Then they would fuck like wild monkeys in the jungle . But something was missing . Maybe she was getting old and didn 't want to become like her mother . Maybe Bud was getting older too and just couldn 't reach the sexual drive he once had . Either way , Gloria seemed like she was in need of a change but what that change was she didn 't know . Many weeks and months passed and things stayed the same between them . Oh , they had talked about it until they both were blue in the face . Things would pick up for a while and then slowly slipped back into the same old thing . The first time Bud noticed any change was about a month ago . He was coming home from work to surprise his wife for lunch . This was something he had almost never done before . He was out on a call acting as a back up to a guy on vacation . He liked it when he was on the street rather than behind the desk . Since his promotion he seemed to be at that desk more often . But this week he was having fun . Bud felt he could just swing by and have lunch with Gloria rather than grab a quick fast food meal , which he would tell you he didn 't need . When he turned the corner he saw his wife talking to the mailman . They were laughing and she hit him on the arm . That sort of thing . As soon as she saw the car pull up into the driveway , she stopped talking and laughing and told the mailman , " Well thank you very much for delivering the package Frank . I 'll see you later my husband just pulled up . " As he walked pass Bud , Bud could have sworn he smelled Gloria 's expensive perfume . Bud figured it was coming from Gloria who was walking down the driveway about two steps behind Frank . She looked a little flustered and had on a pair of shorts that were what she called her cleaning shorts . She never wore them outside because they were so short and tight the outline of both her pussy and ass crack showed completely . If you looked closely her entire pussy was showing under those tight shorts . Hell Bud said , " What the fuck was she doing out in the sun with those shorts on talking to the fucking mailman . He shook his head . Then he noticed Gloria 's blouse . It was super thin too and she wasn 't wearing a bra . Her breasts and nipples were showing completely under the material leaving no question of how her breasts looked . But it was then that Bud noticed it was buttoned funny . It was like she buttoned it very quickly like she was in a hurry . It was one button higher than the actually button hold . Bud said , " Your blouse is buttoned funny babe ! And the way you 're dress are you hitting on the mailman ? " He laughed but Gloria blushed and he noticed Frank turn a little towards him . He just laughed it off but that look in on her face and the way Frank had turned so quickly gave him cause for concern . Then he shook it off and said to himself , " Na ! You 're out of your fucking mind Bud . Gloria wouldn 't cheat on you . She loves you and the kids too much . She wouldn 't risk all of that for a quick roll in the sack with the fucking mailman . " But he did remember the look on her face when he said it . That night was Wednesday and as Bud put the kids to bed , Gloria showered and came into the family room dressed in a robe and under it was a beautiful see through nightie . Bud had never seen it before . Before he could ask her where she got it , she opened the robe and let it drop off her shoulders . He loved to watch her full round beautiful breasts bounce up and down as she came down the steps and over to him . He held her on his lap and made love to her tits just like when they were 18 , and seniors ' back in high school . Sucking and licking Gloria 's large breasts always turned her on and Bud hard . As they touched and played with each other Bud asked , " So what did the mailman want today ? " She said , " Oh Frank ? He was dropping off a package for next door . The Reids are on vacation and I told them I would take the mail . Why ? Jealous baby ? " Bud smiled and said , " Well you did blush a lot when I kidded and asked if you were having an affair with the mailman . And Frank , is that his name ? Frank did turn around very quickly like I hit a sort spot . " She sat up and looked Bud in the eye and said , " Bud Johnson ! You should be ashamed of yourself . Why would I want a guy like Frank or anyone else when I have you and the kids ? I don 't need or want any man but you . I just wish we would try and do it a little more often . But I 'm betting that tonight you 'll want it from me Buddy . Mum your hands and lips feel so nice on my nipples Bud . You like my little outfit for bed don 't you baby ? " She laughed as she stroked Bud 's hard cock and teased him with her hands , body and words . . . He said , " Gloria , it 's not funny . If I ever caught you with another man I don 't know what I would do . I love you so much baby ! And I know we both don 't have sex like we use too but we have kids baby and it 's hard to just do it whenever we want . The kids are getting older now and would wonder why daddy 's putting his peepee into mommy ! You know that would be all over the school yard the next day . " That broke Gloria up and she laughed until she cried . But she was still wondering if Bud was really suspicious as he had acted in the driveway before ? Finally hard as a rock , Bud said , " Jesus Gloria if you don 't stop it I 'm going to cum all over the sofa and our hands . That feels so good baby ! Come on ! Let 's go upstairs and lock the room . I want to sample some of your special assets and then make love to you long and slow tonight . " He smiled down at her and kissed her hard and long as she held him tightly . She knew Bud loved to tit fuck her but it didn 't do much for her . But , tonight she decided to give him as much pleasure , as he could stand so he would or at least might forget about this afternoon and Frank , besides her pussy was still stretched a little from the mailman . She wanted Bud to be so sexually excited he wouldn 't notice or care . So as Bud straddle her tits she squeezed them around his big hard on and let him pump away . Bud always reached back and stroked her pussy as he tit fucked her . She enjoyed his fingers making love to her vagina as she watched the fat cock head grow harder and coming closer and closer to her lips . She knew Bud was just a little to short to get the head into her mouth . But she licked the head when he pushed up into her . With her beautiful round full breasts squeezed tightly around Bud 's cock he didn 't last very long . He moaned and she knew he was about to cum . She release her breasts and his cock popped out . She took it and began to suck on it hard and long . Bud moaned and them said , OH Jesus baby ! Oh Jesus I love this Oh God I 'm cumming ! " She smiled up at him as he looked down into her beautiful face and she held his hard cock in her mouth as she stroked the shaft with her hands feeling him cum . She milked Bud 's cum completely until there was just a small drop hanging from the hold in the cock head . She took it all and swallowed it as usual as she cleaned his cock completely . That was one of the things Bud absolutely adored about his wife now . He loved how she sucked him dry and then cleaned him as she swallowed all of his cum after all these years ! She never used to clean his cock before but somewhere , somehow she had learned to do it and he fucking loved it . The way her tongue and lips were licking and sucking his shaft and even his set of balls was a great turn - on for him now . He said to himself , " Gloria is right we didn 't do this enough . I will have to try more . " He smiled as his brain said , " Don 't want the mailman in her doing what I should be doing right . Right ! " It was his turn now to use his mouth . He moved down her body and made love to her pussy licking and tonguing it over and over again driving her higher and higher towards an orgasm ! Around the pink insides Bud pleased his wife with a dedication to her needs . He knew what made her feel the best and he teased and stimulated her body over and over again . His tongue was like a snake it touched and pushed and entered her body as her pussy opened up to him like a flower . While he didn 't know or realize it her body had been fucked royally this afternoon only a few minutes before he saw her standing in the doorway of their house with the mailman . She was very lucky today . Bud continued on fucking her hole now with his tongue and two fingers . Tonight Gloria 's pussy felt more opened to him that he could remember in a long time . He knew she had several orgasms already from his tongue and he wondered if she had been excited but his tit fucking . She had told him before she liked it even if he received most of the pleasure from that part of their lovemaking . He moved his mouth up her slit and covered her hard thick red clit ! She arched immediately feeling it stimulated directly now . Bud 's hot breath and loving tongue drove her wild with desire . She had to have a cock and she had to have it now . As she pulled on his head she moaned , " Oh God Bud ! Oh God fuck me baby ! I want your hard cock in me ! Oh come on Bud . Oh God hurry ! Hurry Bud ! Fuck me ! " Again and again Bud pumped into her and again and again she arched up fucking him hard . It was good that he had cum once already because it helped to keep him from cumming again to soon . He wanted to fill her body with his cum but only after he had made her climax with his cock . Again and again he rammed into her now . They were fucking like monkeys in the jungle . She had her legs wrapped around him and screaming so loud that he had to cover her mouth so she wouldn 't wake the kids . She ass and hips lifted them both up off the bed as she rammed her body into his . And then he felt her begin to hump and hump and hump faster and faster and Bud knew she was climaxing ! She held him as tight as she could , digging her heels into his ass trying to push him even deeper . Then she moaned loud and he knew she had peaked . He was buried as deep as he could go and she was holding him so tight with her arms and legs he couldn 't pump if he wanted too . He moaned as she tighten her pussy walls and squeezed his shaft . She worked hard to keep her muscles tight and she worked his cock squeezing and releasing . Squeezing and releasing his shaft buried balls deep until Bud just couldn 't hold off any longer . She knew he was close as his cock got harder , thicker and hotter as the blood pumped into the veins of he shaft . She whispered in his ear , " Do it Bud . Cum in me . Fill me baby ! Fill me with your seed . " Bud cried out with his lust and passion . He couldn 't hold off any longer ! He strained as he told her that he loved her and then he cried out again and his cock thumped and thumped and thumped inside her body as his balls released his sperm . " Oh Yes ! ' Gloria yelled out with the first shot of warm wet sticky cum . Over and over again Bud pumped his cum into his wife 's vagina tunnel filling her cave completely and then overflowing . She just held on to him and watched his face as he climaxed in her . It was one of her favorite things to do during sex . To see the man cumming and that look of pure lust and then the start of his release on his face as she held him deep inside her gave her such a sexual and evil animalistic thrill ! She climaxed again on his hard cock as she felt it pumping his sperm and emptying his balls into her pussy . Slap , slap , slap , slap his balls pounded against her ass as Bud arched his back and buried his shaft as hard and deep into his wife 's body as he was humanly possible to do . She kissed him and held him as she started panting from the sheer sexual pleasure Bud was giving her . It turned out to be the best night of sex they had in many months and Bud did everything she wanted without her asking . Her orgasms were many and drove her wild with her own need and desire . Yet it didn 't compare at all to the sex she had with her mailman lover hours before . She felt sick and sad inside as she knew Bud had done everything right and had pleased her more tonight than in a very long time . He was a good lover ! And yet , there was no comparison to what she had received this afternoon from Frank . It wasn 't that Frank was so much bigger or better , he wasn 't . Yes , a little maybe but there was something about the thrill of having him in her house , fucking her savagely , while her kids were over a friends house and her husband was working that drove Gloria wild with a evil lust ! Frank was a very good lover . So was Bud . Frank didn 't give a shit about her satisfaction but she had orgasm like she never knew existed before with him . He drove her wild with a lust she had never known . She realized she wasn 't about to leave her husband she did love him more than anything else in her life , except maybe fucking Frank on the side . She couldn 't help it Frank did things to her brain not just her body . She needed that stimulation now too . She didn 't know why except Frank simply was an animal and she was his meat . He told her it wasn 't going to last forever and that he had other women . She didn 't care . She needed him and wanted him almost daily . Each time she saw him her pussy got wet and her thighs hurt with an ache from wanting him . He made her scream by touching her . Bud made her scream too but he had to fuck her and make her orgasm . Frank simply hard to kiss her or lick her nipples and she was gone . She would risk everything for Frank to fuck her again . It had started today ! She had finally given in to him and he had taken her like no man had ever done before . Frank and Gloria fucked for three hours . It was the start of their affair and the slow ending of her marriage . She had finally given in to his smile his touch his words of lust and sex . He attitude was so much different that her husband . She had never met a man like Frank before . She hungered for him more each day he talked to him . She would masturbate each day after he left her . Sometimes he talked to her for a few minutes . Other times he had ice tea with her in her kitchen . But today she had let him take her in his arms and kiss her . When she felt his tongue move into her mouth and his hand cup her full breast , she surrendered completely . She remembered him lifting her and carrying her to her bed . The bed she shared with her husband for seven years she was now sharing with the mailman . She had let Frank take her and as he smiled down into her eyes she simply told him in a whisper , " Fuck me Frank ! Fuck me like I know you want to baby ! " He drove his hard hot cock deep inside her with one thrust . She was as wet as if she had three oral orgasms . Frank hadn 't licked her or fingered her . They had simply undressed and she opened her legs and he moved in - between them holding his hard cock at the door of her pussy . She guided his cock head into her pushing her pussy lips apart . As she arched her back , she made an animal sound and that started it . They fucked like the world was coming to an end , hard and fast that first time . He had filled her three times in less than three hours but he give her orgasms like none she had ever had before in her life . She released herself completely to her lover not holding back anything . Not trying to be a lady or a decent woman like she had with her husband . No ! She was a fucking slut for Frank and she let her lover take her in ways that she would never allow her husband to do . She lost her asshole cherry today to Frank . She took his wet cum covered cock and sucked him back to life twice . She had never done that with Bud . She had even swallowed Frank 's cum that last time after they had dressed . When she came outside with Frank it was only a matter of five minutes or so before her husband showed up surprising both of them . It was close and she was scared to death . But when he left for work that afternoon she had stripped the bed and washed everything . Then she showered and douched . As they lay on what was clean sheets , now covered with her and her husband 's cum , she closed her eyes and wondered what was ahead for her . She felt guilt but she also had that ache in her loins again and she knew tomorrow if Frank came to her door she would let him in . Finally she kissed her husband and got up . She walked towards the bathroom holding her hand over her vagina that was filled with her husband 's cum now . Yes , Frank was the predator mailman and he had taken a taste of her . She knew he would be back and she would submit to him again , and again and again . She had no choice she was his now . She went into the bathroom and started to cry as she cleaned her pussy . She was risking everything and she knew it . What would she do ? You know when you get that funny feeling in your head and heart that something isn 't right . Well I have been having it now for sometime . I sat there thinking back at when it started . And I came to the conclusion that it actually started the day I came home for the lunch with my wife and found her standing there in our driveway talking to the mailman . I remember what she had on and how her blouse wasn 't buttoned correctly . Then it was little things subtle things that standing alone didn 't mean much , but together gave me a feeling like when you get embarrassed . You know what I mean . It starts with the back of your neck as you feel it get warm and maybe even burning . Then you feel it moving up and around your ears . Finally your face gets red and your brain tells you this isn 't correct or isn 't right . At least that 's how it worked for me . I had been on the road around the city , not spending any nights away from home just filling in for the guy who usually calls on our local customers . But he had been on vacation and had broken his foot diving . Now for the foreseeable future I had my job and his to do now . Well since I had trained the guy and it use to be my old job , the boss told me to start training someone else . He told me that as soon as I did I could get back into the office . So for three weeks now I had been do just that . But today , I made Jim stay in the office to see if he could do the paperwork by himself . If so he would be fully trained . " Thank God ! " I said to myself . Jim was Ok but I didn 't enjoy acting like a nurse mate to him day in and day out . Today I was to take Alex Boomer to lunch but he had called my cell phone and told me he had an emergency and couldn 't make it . I told him we could reschedule and if I could help . He told me no so I told him to call me when he could . I did enjoy being out of the office and away from the boss , my new trainee and the phones . So since Alex 's office was close to my side of town , I decide to go home and try and have lunch with my wife . We had been having more fights about small things and the fact that she never answered the phone during the day and when she did it was like on the 6th or 7th ring . She always seemed out of breath and in a hurry to get rid of me . She told me I should stay home and try to pick up after two small kids and a messy husband , and clean the house , cook dinner , etc . , etc . , etc . But that was just it . The house wasn 't as clean as it used to be and our dinners were now not much more than a lick and a promise . Pizza or breakfast food , hotdogs and hamburgers were the main courses three or four days a week . No , dinners were not the dinners she used to make . They made the kids happy but I continued to wonder what Gloria did with her time . As I turned the corner to our street , I saw her pull out and drive away . I was in the company car so when I honked the horn Gloria didn 't recognize my car or me . She kept on driving . I decided to follow her and maybe try and catch her at a stoplight or wait and meet her where she was going . As I followed her I couldn 't understand what she was doing or where she was going . She seemed to be going up one street and down the other . From one street in our neighborhood to another she drove as if she was looking for something or someone . She drove up and down each of the side streets in our development . I just followed her . I wondered what she was doing and decided to just stay behind her and see . She finally turned out of our development and drove down the street and into the neighborhood across the street . She did the same thing , driving up and down the streets in and out of this neighborhood too . I said to myself , " What the fuck are you doing babe ? " Finally , Gloria must have seen what she was looking for and she pulled over . She parked her van across the street and up about two cars from a mail truck . I stopped the car at the top of the hill and watched as the mailman got out of his truck . It was Frank ! " Son - of - a - bitch " , I said loudly ! He walked up to her car and I saw him bend into the driver side of her van . It looked like he kissed her long and hard . Then they talked a few minutes and then he got back into his truck and pulled away slowly . I sat there and said again , " What the Fuck are you doing Gloria ? " I watched as she started the van and turned into the next driveway . Then she backed up and turned in the same direction as the mail truck . I didn 't even duck down as the truck and her van went past my company car and down the road . I waited a few seconds and then made a U - turn . I followed at a distance watching my wife following the mail truck . Again I asked to myself , " What the Fuck is going on Bud ? Jesus she is having an affair with the mailman . Wait don 't jump to any conclusions watch an see . " I continued to follow both vehicles about two miles into a new development . Then the truck stopped and so did Gloria . The Frank the mailman got out and walked towards her van . I sat at the top of the hill and watched as my wife got out and they walked into the house next to a wooded lot . She had met the mailman and went into a house at the end of a street which had a heavy tree covered new home that sat next to a wooded lot . It was very isolated . I saw them both go up to the house and watched as the door opened and another man come to the door . He looked as if he was welcoming both of them . The new man put his arm around Gloria and the three of them walked into the house and closed the door . I didn 't know who lived there . I also didn 't know what my wife was doing going into a house with two men . Was she cheating ? It sure looked that way . There were no sighs of it as far as I could tell . Sure we were on a down side these last two months but all couples go up and down over the course of their marriage . But then I wasn 't really looking for signs . If she was cheating I never realized it . If she was having an affair there were no major signs , none at all . I attempted to sneak up to the house and look into the window but the drapes were closed . There was music playing but it was some sort of tone I knew I had heard before but I just could put my finger on where . It was music with a steady rhythm beat and a pounding and a steady beat over and over again . Then I heard cries and moans and muffled words I could understand . The music just drowned out all the other sounds . Finally frustrated , I couldn 't see or hear anything else I went back to my car . I started to leave and then said , " No damn it . She 's in there and I want and have a right to know why and what 's going on . " I got out of my car and wrapped on the door to the house . A big black man answered and I told him who I was and that I saw my wife come in there . He stood in my way and told me , " Look man , you 're all wrong . No woman has come in here . There are only four guys playing cards for big bucks . No one is allowed in . Now leave . " When I insisted the black guy got mad and told him he was going to throw my ass off the pouch . Then he was going to call the police . I started to leave and decided not to get caught as a peeping or cause a problem with the cops . Besides , if my wife was there she sure wasn 't coming to the door when she heard my voice . So I told him I was leaving . About twenty minutes later I saw the black man come out and look up and down the street . He then waved and Gloria come out with the mailman . They both drove away in different directions as I sat there . I knew she would tell the black guy what car I rove and since he didn 't see any car like that he felt I had left . I watched as Gloria drove quickly out of the neighborhood and directly home . I waited and finished what I had to do for work . Then I arrived home early . I had questions but didn 't know if I should ask what I was thinking . Maybe I could find out from the way she acted . After dinner while the kids and I played , she sat there reading and watching us . She looked worried . All afternoon , I couldn 't for the life of me come up with a reason for my wife to be in a new house with our mailman and at least two other men , one of them black . I was stumped about her trip but decide to see if I could find out anything by talking to her after the kids were in bed . I put the kids to bed about 45 minutes later and then came back into the family room . I sat down next to her on the sofa and she said she was going to take a shower . I asked her to wait and then I asked her calmly and slowly . " So Gloria , how was your day do anything interesting ? " She told me I do what I do everyday , clean , cook and take care of the kids while we wait for you to come home Bud . But today I was invited to visit a new home . It 's Frank our mailman new house . He has asked me to help pick out the drapes and furniture ! It was fun and I was very happy to do it . It was great to break up my boring day . " Gloria seemed the same as she talked to me . There was nothing that I could see different about her . She was in a semi - bad mood again tonight . Other than that there were no clues that I could see . I said , ' Stop it . I saw you meet and drive to that house . I saw you meet the mailman and then go into that house . I saw the other guy greet you and him at the door . And when I went up to the door I met the big black man . What 's going on Gloria ? " She said , " Oh yes , Luke . He 's one of the guys helping to build the house mostly the inside . Rufus was the black guy and he 's one of the laborers . Nice guys . Why didn 't you come in ? " I said , " I tried believe me . I wanted to see what my wife was up too . But Rufuse wouldn 't let me in and he told me no woman was there . Only four guys playing cards for big bucks . That was before he threatened me and I left . What the fuck is going on Gloria . What were you doing in there ? " I said , " Give me a fucking break . First you go into a house arm in arm with two men . Then when I come to the door a big black guy stops me . I heard nothing but so fucking steady music pounding in the house . Then I saw the way Frank looked at you and how you looked at him when you left . You better tell me what you have been doing . " She sighed and said , " Nothing is going on Bud . I told you . Rufuse was told not to let anyone ion the house so nothing would get taken . All the appliances are in now waiting to be hooked up . I guess I was either up stairs or downstairs and we didn 't hear you . Then when we came out you were gone . We looked for your car but didn 't see it . Why all the questions here . I was helping a friend . Yes , Bud Frank is a nice guy and a friend . I want to help him out that 's all . " Finally I realized we were at a junction here . She wouldn 't tell me anything and I had no proof she had done anything wrong . She said , " If you want we can go and visit tomorrow so you can see there was nothing going on . " As we got ready for bed I noticed a new piece of jewelry on Gloria 's ankle . It was a bracelet with a design I didn 't know or understand . I knew I didn 't give it to her so I asked about it saying , " Where did you get the bracelet ? " I said , " Well I came home and was going to either take you to lunch or have lunch with you but you pulled out as I came down the street . That 's all , which is why I asked . Just the mall ? " I waited to see what she would tell me . I knew now why she had a reason for being with the mailman and that other guy . She said , " I went out for an hour Bud . No place special , to the mall to a few stores to look for a new outfit . I 'll show you when I 'm done . " I got so upset with her I had to walk out of the room and I asked her if I could get her anything ? She told me , " No " , she was going to take a shower . It was her third today but I didn 't know that at the time . As she turned I took her hand and made her turn towards me again . I smiled at her and said , " Are we all right babe ? I mean are we really OK ? " I tried to smile and said , " I just want to know if we 're doing OK ! Is there anything you think we need to talk about ? Is there anything wrong with our relationship ? " I was upset and decided I would go into the bathroom anyway after I was sure she was in the shower . It had been almost two weeks since we had been together physically and I wanted her bad tonight for two reasons . One to se if I could tell if anyone else was inside her body or on her body . Secondly I needed sex , love and affection from my wife . Plus I felt it might help me decide what I should do about what I saw this afternoon . So once Gloria was in the shower washing her hair I came into the bathroom and opened the shower door but in doing so I surprised her more than I wanted too . She jumped and got soap in her eyes . She yelled at me to get out that she didn 't want anything from me tonight . It was then that I saw her shaved pussy for the first time . I just looked at it and then looked up at her face . She was still wiping her eyes when she realized I saw her hairless vagina . She said , " OH Great Bud ! Now you have wrecked the surprise I was going to give you this weekend . " She said , " Yesterday Bud ! Damn it ! I was going to surprise you Friday night when the kids left with mom . But , now you know . Please get out and let me finish washing ! " I was going to ask her more about her trip to the house when she came to bed but decide to wait . She came out and started telling me , " You should be ashamed of yourself thinking I would do something like what you are thinking Bud . I was simply working and helping Frank with his new house remodeling it . And I 'm happy he has asked me . It gives me a good brake and I 'm happy to offer him my help . That 's it ! That was all there was . That 's why I was there . " I didn 't know if I believed her or not . It was simple and gave him an answer . But I still wasn 't sure about it . For weeks now things just weren 't the same between us and now new house thing had happened . I was thinking only bad things and tried to clear my brain of everything but the facts . Fact I had no proof . Fact I had seen nothing really wrong . Fact she had invited me to see the house and meet Frank . I would take her up on it tomorrow and later on when she told me she was done . I wanted to see the before and after results . The next day , I asked for a couple of days off giving a medical reason and the need to have some tests done . I told them I would still do the emergency calls when needed but that the person I had trained could handle most of the things involved with the day to day tasked of the job . Plus I was always available by cell phone . The next day I parked on the side street and watched as she pulled out and went to another place . She parked in front of the mail truck this time and they went into another house , a different one . She spent the day there and as I around the side of the house I tried to see in the window . They must have been upstairs or down stairs because there was no one in the front room but the big black guy watching TV . Then after a while I heard the same type of music playing again . For the life of me I couldn 't place it but I knew I had heard this type of music before . I waited and about 5 hours later she came out by herself . I watched as she got into her van and went home . She walked OK and looked OK and when I pulled in tem minutes later she was in the kitchen making a real dinner ! She greeted me like nothing was wrong and asked why I was home early . I said , " To make love to you . Let 's go intro he bedroom and have some fun before the kids get home . " I did what she asked and then called her . She came in and took the towel off of my body and knelt between my legs and started to jerk me off and suck on my cock . She had me hard in a minute . She had a very nice and somewhat new technique in sucking now . I wondered where she had learned it maybe from Frank . I said , " NO ! No Baby ! I don 't want to cum in your mouth I want to cum in your body . Come on Gloria ! Stop it ! Stop it ! Damn it Gloria ! Stop sucking my cock . " I never believed I would ever tell her that in my life . I grabbed her as she frantically tried to make me cum ! I pulled her down and we fought for a few minutes until she finally gave in . I moved between her legs and saw she had no panties on . I stopped dead in my tracks . Kneeling between her legs , her skirt up around the top of her thighs , I looked down at her shaved pussy and said , " When did you stop wearing underwear ? " I said , " Well I guess I 'll have to pay you back . I moved further up between her legs and she spread them for me . She pulled a pillow from the side of the bed and put it under her ass . She had never done that before . I moved my cock to her pussy slit and could see her already opened . I aid , " You 're either hot as I am or you have been playing with yourself . " She smiled and said , " Busted baby ! I guess you caught me . That 's really why I didn 't have any panties on . I don 't have a bra on either . See ! " She opened her blouse showing me her full round breasts with her nipples sticking up an inch or more . I moaned as I saw her body and placed my cock in her open vagina lips . She arched and pulled me deep into her tunnel as she held my ass . She moaned like she was in total heat , " Fuck me hard Bud . I need you bad baby ! " That always did it for me . A husky voice spoken in a whisper telling me to fuck her made me want to cum almost immediately ! It was so sexy ! Plus I wanted to fuck her hard . I wasn 't thinking about her as I slammed my hard cock into her fully . She was very wet and somewhat loose but not as bad as I was thinking . If she had been fucking all afternoon she would have been much more open , I was think . I still had no proof . I fucked her as hard as I ever did . I don 't think about her at all . All I could think about was fucking her better than Frank . I was sure she was cheating but still could prove it ! She stopped moving and looked at me . She said , : Get off . Get the fuck off of me your SOB ! Get off ! Now ! Get the fuck off . I didn 't stop I pumped and pumped as she beat on me and then I slammed into her one last time and pumped my cum deep into her body She screamed for me to stop that she didn 't want me . She yelled and cried rape and hit me as I finished and rolled off of her and sat up ! She ran into the bathroom and I threw up on the floor . I knew what I did but I didn 't mean it . I was so mad so hurt and so pissed off . The heat of the moment might have just cost me my marriage . I sat there with my hands on my head bent over facing the floor looking at the mess I had made . I just sat on the edge of the bed while I heard her showering again . I said , " This time she washing my cum out of her body . She finally came out and went downstairs not saying or looking at me . We ate in silence and then she went into the spare bedroom and slept . This went on for three days . I would leave and wait for her . She would come out about an hour later and meet Frank . They drove in her van now and over the course of the three days they went into three different houses . There was no sex between us and even a conversation . We lived in the same house but didn 't talk or sleep together . Then one day I told her we had to resolve this between us . I had one more day off and then I wouldn 't be able to follow her any more . So I came clean with exactly what I was thinking , she was fucking Frank and God knows whom else . She told me it was all my imagination . She hadn 't changed at all except now she was tired from working around the house and helping to decorate Frank 's house . She told me he had made arrangements with other people for them to see the houses to get some ideas . She worked hard all day and was trying to be a good wife and taking care of the kids and help a friend . She didn 't even get to the gym any more she was so busy . The she asked me , " Why do you think I 'm cheating ? Do you have proof ? If you don 't stop this crazy fear Bud you 're going to destroy us , not me , you ! " I did . I told her everything I had on my mind and heart . I told her that I had check up on her for the past four days and followed her everywhere she and Frank had gone . But I also knew before that what she was doing . I really didn 't but told her that anyway . I told her I saw her go with her mailman to different house and saw them together as well as with other men and sometimes women . I told her I tried to see inn the houses what was going on but always saw only the black man or no one . , I knew she was upstairs fucking Frank and God knows who else . I told her she had promised to take me to see Frank 's house but never did it . I told her if she didn 't have anything to hide why didn 't she take me to see it today , now ? I told her I wanted to see it . I told her I felt that there was almost no love any more between us . I told her that she didn 't want me any more . She only had sex with me to keep me from finding out about her cheating affairs . I could tell by the changes in her lovemaking and the way she used her body that she was doing different things . I asked her how she learned about these new methods . I told her she was a sucker and was going to get caught sooner or later and I would leave her . I told her that Frank wasn 't in love with her he just wanted to fuck her and use her . Then one day I got a call and went to an emergency site to fix a major problem . When it was done I swung by the house . The mail truck was parked across the street . I said , " Son - of - a - bitch , he 's in my house ! " I stopped the car and waited a few minutes and then went into the house . I immediately heard the music again . Then I heard someone talking giving her instructions . I heard him talking . He was telling her how he loved the way she moved her body on him as she fucked him . I stood there a few seconds listening . Then I realized they were in the act right now . They were fucking in my bed ! He was fucking her in my bed in my house ! I was out of my mind ! I moved up the steps slowly . I heard her moan and then I heard her cry out as he moved his cock in her and she rocked back and forth on him . I stood in the doorway and saw her sitting on him and telling him how she especially loved the way he worked on her now . She took his hands and placed them on her larger breast . He was moving her from one level to another to another building her up towards what I knew was going to be a super orgasm . Having two kids had enhanced her already 36C bust line and Frank looked like he loved playing with them as much or more than I did . Then I saw another man standing there filming all of it . He said , " Your husband will never guess we are doing it today in your own house . He 's most likely running around different neighborhoods looking for your car and the truck . Heheheheheh ! ! He 'll never know we were here Gloria ! Now start bouncing up and down slowly at first then faster and faster until you cum . Yea that 's it Oh shit you are so hot baby ! " Frank held her hips now and assisted her as she fucked him like she was out of her mind . The guy filming then was instructing then both . Then I realized what the music was , porno music . I was sick . I yelled , " What the fuck are you doing ! Get the fuck out of here or I 'll fucking kill you ! " Out of no where the big black guy grabbed me and threw me across the room . The guy filming , stopped and said , " Oh shit ! Rufuse stop him from hurt anyone . But don 't hurt him unless you have too ! " I rolled over and stood up . Rufuse was nude and his big cock was hanging like a third leg . I realized he must have just finished fucking Gloria and was in the bathroom when I came in . He moved towards me saying , " Now be cool Bud . Your old lady loves this shit man and you don 't give her enough ! She a real whore and you 'll get to see it all today . Just don 't do anything crazy I don 't want to hurt you ! " He stood in front of me looking into my eyes and wonder if I would stay where I was . Frank had pushed Gloria off of him and was dressing . He was putting the fucking mailman 's uniform back on . The guy with the camera was picking up the filming equipment and Gloria was huddled in the corner with fear on her face crying like some three - year - old . I looked at Rufus and said , " Well I want to hurt you motherfucker . " And with that I quickly kicked out surprising him almost completely and hit him square in the nuts . He went down like the fucking Titanic . Rolling on the floor holding his hands between his legs I did a spin turn and nailed him in the face with my other foot . His head snapped and it broke his nose , maybe his jaw . I moved quickly and grabbed Frank from behind . The window was just there and then Frank was going through it ! The glass shattered and behind Frank went the camera equipment . Then I turned and saw the guy who was filming this entire thing running down the hallway and down the stairs . I heard the front door open and the storm door slam as he bolted . I left and went outside and picked up the camera . I was sure in had all the proof I needed to make Gloria get nothing , not even visiting right with the kids . Frank was laying on my grass bleed from three different places . I smiled and kicked him in his nuts too . He just moaned . Then he looked like he passed out . I took the tripod that the camera was sitting on and went back into the house ready for the big black guy . He was still on the floor holding his nuts and face . I hit him three or four times on the head busting it opened . Then I picked up the phone and called the police . They were there in a just a few minutes as I sat on the bed watching the black motherfucker . I told the cops what happened when I came home and that the black guy attacked me . There were three to one but I had some training in marshal arts and took care of him . The police arrested the black man still holding his nuts . The ambulance came and too him and Frank away . I went back up stairs as saw Gloria sitting on the bed crying with two suitcases on the floor next to her . I said . " Get on your knees bitch ! Do you want to stay here ? " She said , " Oh God yes Bud ! Oh please I 'm so sorry he seduced me and I fell for it ! I 'll do anything ! Anything to stay ! PLEASE BUD ! " I laughed to myself as she did exactly what I said and got on her knees ! I took my cock out and said , " Get me hard ! Blow me ! " I took my time and enjoyed her sucking and licking that she was giving me . I said , . " More ! Suck me more Gloria I want to cum ! " I always loved watching her tits as the nipples would grow hard and very long as she sucked me . I also loved the way my wife would hold his head and keep her mouth on the swollen cock head biting and teasing it ! Sucking my cock always made her horny and her nipples hard and long . I saw them now and they were just like I know they would be . After all the fucking she had today , she was still horny . She moved her head up and down sucking my cock like she never done before . She had learned very well and was showing me her new talents . The talents of a whore porno queen , not a wife . Many a night after I had licked her pussy for an hour giving her God knows how many orgasms , she would lay back and let me fuck her tits as she squeezed them together tightly for me . I always shot a huge load of cum all over her tits before she took me into her mouth and sucked me hard again so I can fuck her . But not today , today I just wanted to cum . When it was over and I had cum all over here face . I picked her up and took her down stairs . She asked if she could stay and as I opened the door and threw her outside I told her no . Then I threw her bags out too . I said , " Don 't even think about coming back in this house ever again . " I called the daycare center and told them if they released the children to my wife I would sue them for everything they had . I locked the door and said to my wife that she had better not be here when I got back . I took the camera with me and stopped at the first lawyer 's office I saw . I presented the facts and show them the film . I was told there would be no problems and I should get everything . I knew a predator had destroyed my life and my marriage . All I had was my kids . I would fight like hell to keep them away from the whore my wife had become . |
Disclaimer : In the following post I am in no way demeaning , degrading or making fun of overweight people . I am overweight . I am taking medicine to try to curb my food addiction . I have tried and failed every diet possible and I struggle with weight control . So , just to be clear , this post is not meant to be cruel . It is just a stream of consciousness rambling looking at what makes me tick kind of thing . So I think it is fair to say I have had a bad week this week . To recap and to add to what you didn 't know : I told my boss off , one church member got arrested for breaking and entering , another got arrested for 1st degree murder , a friend 's father died and another good friend threw a drink at her husband in a continuing downward spiral of their marriage in which I am trying so hard to NOT tell her what I really think and instead to just listen and be supportive right now . Our church had a meeting talking about changing its status ( meaning it wouldn 't keep Hubby and we will more than likely be moving ) and I 've been dealing with a bad cold . I know , wah for me . But there it is , a pretty crappy week . Every day this week I have told myself if I could just make it to Saturday , I would let myself wallow in bed a while and succumb to my lovely 500 thread count sheets . And yes , I know , an inability to get out of bed is a sign of depression , but this week kind of tips the scales , don 't ya think ? So as I was wallowing in bed , I was thinking about a TV series I had watched while I was on the Wild Island and had access to cable ( did you know I don 't have cable ? ) . The series focused on 1 / 2 ton people . One was called " 1 / 2 Ton Mom " another was " 1 / 2 Ton Dad " , etc . I watched about 4 of these shows just flabbergasted with these people . I mean , come on . How in the world did these people let themselves get so fat that they ended up unable to lift themselves up off of a bed ? Who has that little respect for themselves that they allowed themselves to become 1 / 2 ton of flesh ? Hmm ? ? ? ? But all of these people had several things in common besidePosted by He was just 6 years old when I met him . Our churches had joined together for an MLK function and his AME church was hosting us . He was just a slip of a boy , with the classic high water khakis and crisply ironed white , yet slightly yellowing short - sleeved shirt that all little boys seem to wear to southern churches . He had never seen so many white people ascend on his church and his eyes grew round and wide as he hid behind his relatives , peeking at me as I waggled a finger or winked an eye . I found out his name was Dionne . The service began and he sat entrenched in the curve of a large woman 's arm , afraid to move and shame his family . But I could see that he wanted to wiggle and run free . When I walked to to the front of the church and sang my solo , his jaw dropped in surprise . I had won him over at that moment and after the service I was able to get a shy , whispered " hello . " Nothing more , but that was enough . We met up again a few years later . This time he was a member of our church . He was a budding teenager with a brain too big for his life 's position . He was stuck in the worst of the worst Projects . But he stayed away from the gangs and he tried to rise out of the muck . He has the IQ of a doctor or a scientist and knew what he could achieve , but over the years he had developed a huge distrust of anyone white . He was after all , a black , poor teenager with braids . He looked the part and he got in trouble with the law . The judge wouldn 't listen to his side . The judge believed the illegal immigrant felon drug dealer who wasn 't even supposed to be in the country over the word of a 15 year old boy . He went to juvie . He came out lost . Hubby tried to reach him over and over and over , he pulled farther and farther away . Yesterday , that sweet little shy boy who could have gotten out , didn 't . He should have gotten out , he asked for help to get out . We tried to get him out , but no one from our church would help us . We gave him rides , tried to get him a job . They turned a deaf ear to our plea . So the pull of the gangs and thPosted by I guess I have a last straw . . . and it was found today . My boss did what she does and hung me out to dry yesterday . Same old stuff , no need to rehash it . But by last night I just really felt as if my soul had been sucked out of my nose with a straw . I dreaded going into work today and I was so tired . I still have nothing to give . So when I walked into work and my boss wanted to " check in " with me about what happened , I just let it all out . I told her that for the past several months I have been extremely uncomfortable , that she had made it quite obvious that she doesn 't like me , that she tells me I am too serious but if I try to be more light - hearted that she feels that I am " too much " and essentially she has left me with nowhere to be . I also said that I feel as if I am working under a microscope and she watches my every move and expression on my face and analyzes everything . To say she was upset with me is an understatement . She put it all back on me and said it was my problem and that I have made her feel like a monster . But you know what ? For the first time in months I feel free . As soon as I said it , this vise that was forcing my eyes into a mask of pain let go and my jaw unclenched and I just didn 't care that I may have just lost my job . She can be unhappy with me all she wants . I didn 't yell at her . I didn 't say my piece in an unacceptable way . I calmly and in an adult manner stated the facts and put them out there . Now , according to my faculty handbook , if we can 't come to a resolution , I have a right to go above her head and seek help from the school director . I have spoken . Or , to bastardize a Haven Kimmel title , I Got Up off the Chair ! I am sitting here typing away on my brand new Toshiba . Readers , remember , you get what you pay for . Hubby and I bought a cheap Acer last year and the thing was a piece of crap . We wasted our money on it . But we are now back to the brand we know and love . It was a lot of money we don 't have right now , but at least I don 't have to hold the screen with my left hand just to keep it from fuzzing up ! Many years ago when I was working at my first Montessori school , I came across the book , The Giving Tree . I remembered reading that book over and over as a child and really loving it . I thought the idea of having a friend that you were willing to share everything with was worthwhile and comforting . But when I came across it in the library at the school , the director of the school informed me that I was NEVER to read it to any of the children there , that it was a horrible book and taught a bad lesson . I remember looking at the woman like she was crazy , but she was in charge , so I agreed and I never thought very much more about it - until recently . But now I think I am beginning to understand . I think I am kind of like that tree . I am a mom so I provide branches to protect my child . I am a wife , so I provide shade to comfort my husband . I am the pastor 's wife so I provide apples to try to keep the church fruitful . I have friends who are going through some rough patches so I offer them my branches to keep their homelives strong . My parents live near so I give up my leaves of time to satisfy their need to see my child . I am a teacher so I give up my trunk and leave my home and child to give other people 's kids a better start in this world . I give and give and give and give . . . . and the past few days I feel like there is very little left . I " have nothing left to give . " Just like the tree . But here 's the kicker , even when the tree says " I have nothing left to give , " the boy still asks for one more thing , a quiet place to sit . And this is where I see why the director of my school hated that book . Instead of telling the boy to get his oPosted by Hubby has done something to our old computer to get it back up and running . . . for now at least . I have to type very gently so as not to disturb or anger it lest the screen starts fuzzing up and loses its vertical hold again like it is won 't to do . Thinking about our former small town , pop . 259 , reminded me of something else that happened while we lived there that I witnessed . Hubby was the county life insurance man at the time and when we moved into the town , I started working at the little town pharmacy . Normally small southern towns have a tendency to be suspicious of outsiders , especially ones with midwestern accents ( although I have now lived in the south so much that I draw my A 's out with the best of them . ) However , because of Hubby 's job , and because people were able to see first hand that I could be trusted to keep their medical secrets , we were accepted fairly quickly into the community . The local moonshiner was a customer of Hubby 's , so we always had a jar sitting around just to show off to visitors as if to say " Hey , look at us now , we 're one of the chosen ones ! " But we loved it there and would live there still if Hubby hadn 't gotten The Call . Anyway , one day while I was at work at the drug store , a mom came rushing into the pharmacy with her little boy who had been badly burned on his arm . The little boy , about two , was wailing away pitifully and the mom was practically tearing her hair out in fear and her own mental anguish . Our local doctor 's office was closed and this mom did not have any insurance to take her son to the hospital . Even if she did have insurance , I 'm not sure she would have taken him since a lot of the country folks in the area just didn 't trust doctors they didn 't know . So she came to the pharmacist , who was possibly the most respected man in our town . The pharmacist took one look at the burn and realized it was beyond any medicine , prescription or otherwise , that he had to offer . He then went to the phone and made a call . I thought he was making a call to an EMS until I heard him say Posted by I haven 't made fun of Hubby in a while , but I was very good to him on our snow day . Most of you may or may not believe this , but I am a very traditional kind of wife . That does not mean I am a traditional thinker . I am most definitely NOT a traditional thinker , but I do take a certain pleasure in cooking for my Hubby , mainly because that is one simple thing that really makes him feel loved . So before I tell a story about him , just let me share how well he was treated today . I woke up and cooked blueberry pancakes with REAL blueberries . Sadly they are from Chile , but still , tranportation miles don 't count on snow days . I also cooked REAL bacon . We have real bacon maybe . . . MAYBE . . . once a year . Then , after playing in the snow , I made his favorite winter comfort food lunch of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with tomato soup . Not just any tomato soup , but tomato soup made with milk . I really can 't stand it that way , but . . . Finally , for dinner , I made baked sweet potatoes , homemade applesauce and ham steaks . To say he was a happy camper was an understatement . Normally I make him eat spinach salad and roast chicken , occasionally baked eggplant if he 's lucky , but today we splurged ! ( Hmm , I also just realized we eat a lot of pig when we splurge . I guess that 's why they call it feast or famine . ) So , I hope you agree , his tummy is too full to notice that I am about to , once again , reveal his gift of hindsight . I was reading Freedragon 's post about her troubles with her heater and it reminded me of this story , so thanks for being my muse today . Anywho , before Hubby decided to be a pastor , Hubby and I bought a house in a very small town ( pop , 259 ) . We bought the house for $ 53 , 000 but got a special kind of loan that gave us $ 22 , 000 to renovate it . And it needed renovation . The house was a catalog house that old - timers still remembered being brought in on the train in pieces . The train stopped running to that town in the early 30 's . If you ever watched the sitcom , Roseanne , when they showed her house , there was a house right next Posted by If you are not a church goer , this post will mean nothing to you , so you might want to come back tomorrow . I also need to tell you my husband and I went out for these huge $ 10 . 99 margaritas tonight , so my typing is a little wonky . Bear with me . But something happened today and I need to get it out . Today was a normal Sunday . I got to church , did my preschool Sunday school class , ran to choir practice , went to church , left in the middle to help with the children 's church and then left children 's church early to go and set up food for the coffee / cookie time after the service . Ideally a family signs up every week to offer food to the church members each week , but as is often the case , no one had signed up for this week and one of our lifers was having a birthday , so Hubby asked me to take care of it . I have had too much tequila to figure out how to put this into this post , but I need to let you know that Hubby , who has NO secretary or office help , really messed up the bulletin for the church service this week . Remember that . . . I 'll come back to it . Hubby had set the coffee up to brew before he went in to the service and I was setting the food out when church let out early . I was caught in the midst of putting the food out when congregants started coming into the Fellowship Hall . They swooped down on the food and I could barely get the replacement food on the table when people started fussing at me that there was no coffee . Where was the coffee ? What was this ? Just cookie ? Where the HELL was the coffee ? No one could be bothered to say thank you for spending our own hard - earned money on coffee / cookie . No one could be bothered to offer to help me put stuff out . They just complained that there was no coffee . But you see , Hubby had MADE coffee , the coffee maker malfunctioned , but nobody could be bothered to look at it . And nobody could be bothered to take my place and put plates of goodies out so I could look at it . All they could do was complain . And there I was with a knife in my hand taking the heat . And let me tell you , IPosted by I failed to mention several weeks ago that Uncle Junior died suddenly of a massive heart attack while he was still in he hospital . It took everybody by surprise and therefore was that much more devastating , but at least he was not alone . We did not attend the funeral because we were already on the Wild Island and committed to follow the course once there . Whack job Ex - fiance has not called , although we have received several blocked calls that have gone unanswered . I received a lot of comments stating that I should not have insisted she call the house . I guess I just was marking my territory and showing her that my balls were bigger . I seriously doubt she will have the nerve to call the house . For those of you who followed my old blog , Pregnant Partner and I have actually managed to form a gentle friendship again . We are never going to be more then superficial friends , but it is easy and nice and her son loves me , so she is happy . I am sorry for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about , but it is TOO long to go into again . E 's teacher spent all week teaching her that MLK , Jr would have been 81 this year . At first I just rolled my eyes and phftted at it . I 'm obviously not going to fight that battle . But then I got to thinking , am I willing to overlook the mistake because I am a middle class white American who never had any relative who had to sit in the back of the bus ? What would I do if she were teaching the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1777 ( and yes , I know it finished up being signed in 1777 , but that 's besides the point ) ? I just need to get E through this year . Lastly , Evil Genius Neighbor 's daughter is in the hospital with pneumonia and I am livid . . . judgmental and livid . This poor girl is a pawn in her parent 's divorce and neither parent truly cares about her well - being . She has horrible asthma and her doctor and JUDGE has ordered the pets be removed from the houses , but her mom has a dog and a cat and her dad has a bird . She is behind in reading , but neither parent believes in reading Posted by I so desperately want to share my week of ducking and covering from constant criticism from my Lead Teacher . It was non - stop and amazingly insane . Can I share just one example , please ? We were having a night time open house , so she told me to take a student 's work , cover it with a mat and put it on the cubbies out in the hallway so it wouldn 't get messed with . I did exactly as she asked . But when I went back to get it the next day , it was gone . She huffed at me and said , AND I QUOTE , " I know you meant well , but it was just too much stuff in the hallway . " I meant well ? I didn 't mean well . I was following orders . And I know it seems like petty nothing stuff , but imagine 20 or 30 of those petty nothing things EVERY DAY ! ! BUT . . . . I will rise . . . I will rise . . . I will let it go and tell you about the joys of being a pastor 's wife . Because something else happened this week that really tweaked me in all the wrong places . I will be the first to admit I am not the world 's best pastor 's wife . I am someone who struggles daily with a crisis in faith . I was not raised in a church and my family was not particularly religious . So you can imagine what a large adjustment it was for me to go from NO church to being the woman behind the leader OF the church . I make mistakes and I fight desperately to maintain my small corner of myself . But I am still involved . So I was very surprised by a conversation I had the other day as I was driving a church member to church choir practice . Remember that sentence because I will repeat it in a minute . The CM was telling me about another woman she is friends with who is the wife of a Lutheran minister . And she said , " And she 's just like you , she takes a hand 's off approach with the church and makes sure the church knows that she is not part of a package deal . Her husband is the pastor but she doesn 't want to have anything to do with the church . " I just about slammed on the brakes and dropped her out of the still rolling car right then and there . I couldn 't believe she was comparing me to this woman ! Posted by Many people find it hard to believe , but pastors weren 't born pastors . Most of them lived lives prior to receiving their call into ministry and more than a few of them lived their lives " in sin " before becoming pastors . Hubby was no exception . We met in 1994 by chance . We started dating on a whim and agreed we were just going to have a brief fling and then go our separate ways . Hubby was in my town for a few short weeks and was then being sent back to whence he came . I was never supposed to see him again because his home was clear across the country and we agreed neither of us wanted a long - distance romance . We had a torrid , passionate , exciting affair and then he got in his car and drove away . It was an amazing time in in my life , the kind that books are written about and people relive for years to come ; but it was also the most painful time in my life . As he drove away I was heartbroken and empty , unable to cry because I had done this to myself . I had agreed to this short time of bliss , knowing it would end with me alone . But I had thought it better to love and lose . . . For you see , Hubby was engaged . I didn 't know that the first night I met him or I would have never allowed the relationship to come about . I 'm not that kind of person . I take vows and oaths very seriously . But Hubby was young and out of his element and , well , he had been engaged for three years , so he was more than a little frustrated ( and you can take that any way you want ) . Three years is a long time to be engaged , but she just kept putting off the date for one reason or another . She wanted to finish college . She wanted to get her Masters . She wanted to move and get her life established . She wanted him to be willing to follow her career . She wanted him to give up a lot to wait on her . He would have done all of that , if she would have just gone ahead and married him . She was the daughter of a pastor and had very strict rules and expectations for their life together . And then he met me . The me of then was much different from the me of now . I was bolPosted by I have always thought that I suffered from the House of Usher disease . You know the story by Poe , Fall of the House of Usher ? The main character has a hypersensitivity to sights , sound , SMELL , taste and touch . That is me to a tee . I can 't walk through a clothing store because I can smell the petroleum in the fabrics . I certainly can 't touch any of the clothing because when I reach for something that I think is going to feel soft , it turns out to have some sort of strange , unnaturally - created dye that stays on my fingers and irritates me the rest of the day . Bright lights send me running for sun glasses at all hours of the day and people who sing , if they 're even just a hair off - pitch , well , my eyes cross and I lose my sense of balance when that happens . I 'm just that sensitive to things . But I must say , of all of these things , the smell thing gets me the most . I can handle all of the other sensory overloads , but not THE SMELL ! This became worse when I was pregnant . Something happened to me and I was rendered incapable of eating anything at all . I was a lousy pregnant person . There was not a day of my pregnancy that I enjoyed , nor was there a day when I was not miserably sick . Only , if you remember , I have an iron stomach , so even though I wanted to throw up every single day for 38 solid weeks , I never could . It wasn 't the fact that I wasn 't hungry , I was . I just couldn 't get past the smell of the food . I was truly living on three things : oatmeal , grits and ( believe it or not ) eggplant parmesan subs . But they had to be subs , not just eggplant parmesan on a plate . I guess I needed the bread to soak up the smell . So anywho , Hubby was well aware of what was going on with my olfactory system , because he was making a sub run every 3 or 4 days when oatmeal and grits just wouldn 't cut it . AND he sat with me in the emergency room for 12 solid hours when I was 17 weeks pregnant with dehydration because even the subs failed me at that point and I couldn 't force myself to drink our water . For you see , at that time , we lived inPosted by In case you haven 't been able to tell , my family is very liberal . So I was greatly distressed when my dad told me E had called something he did " gay . " Now I know there is a lot of internet discussion back and forth about whether or not using the term " gay " as slang is appropriate or not , but I don 't want my daughter using it unless she is describing Christmas ornaments or same - sex couples . After all , our church has several gay members and I have several life long gay friends . I don 't want her to slip up in their presence and cause a riot . So today Hubby , E and I were in the car and I asked her if she knew what gay meant . She said no , so I told her . The conversation degraded from there : ME : Gay means when a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman like mommy and daddy love each other . E : Like your friend A is gay . Because she 's married to a woman . ME : Yes . Just like that . E : But she 's a witch , too . ( She practices paganism ) ME : Yes , she 's a gay witch . E : But how did she learn to be a witch ? ME : Well , I think her mom and her grandma taught her . Hubby : But I thought she was raised Catholic ? Me : Her dad is Catholic . E : So she 's a Gay Catholic Witch ? I wasn 't about to get into the ramifications of all that , but if you ever wonder what your clergy talk about , it 's probably not that . But then again , we 're not your normal clergy family . I wasn 't going to put any more energy into my situation with my boss this week , but an anonymous commenter struck a nerve with me and I wanted to clarify a few things . The commenter suggested I try to make myself available to my boss , befriend her , and treat her as I would my kids , repeat what she says and make sure she feels heard . I totally agree with this . But . . . I have tried all of these things . My boss was singing in a choir concert and I spent $ 20 to go to her concert to hear her sing . She said she had always wanted to Christmas carol , so I arranged a group caroling session . Every time she criticizes me , I repeat what she says to her and I try to let her know I have listened . But what happens is that she tells me to do something and I do it , but then she gets mad at me and criticizes me in front of the kids for doing what she asked . Case in point - we have a boy who is very high need and immature . He pushes all of her buttons and she becomes very irritated very fast with him . She was giving him a lesson and he refused to work by himself . If she left him to continue working , he stopped and started distracting other children . She came over to me and said , " I am getting irritated with ( child ) . Will you please sit with him and get him to finish his work ? " He had one math problem that he had to do . Remember , this is with Montessori materials , so one problem can be pretty intensive . So I sat down and started doing just that . About 5 minutes later she came over and told me she didn 't want me just sitting with him . He was taking up too much of my time and was going to start to rely on me working with him . I stood up and told her that I thought she had asked me to sit down and get him to finish his work . She said that is NOT what she said . But she did , it 's kind of hard to misunderstand 8 or 9 words . . . . So , in the end , there is only one answer for me in this situation . And I hate it and I run from it every time . But I just have to rise . I always have to rise like frigging cream . I realized in reading my own stuff that Posted by I told myself that I was going to start this new year with a good attitude . I was going to come back from my two week break from work with fresh eyes and a hopeful new approach . Things with my lead teacher were just strained because the kids had Christmas Fever in December . I was going to turn over a new leaf and make things right ! Right ? As I was driving to work yesterday morning I had a full blown , knock down , drag out panic attack . It was so bad my finger tips went numb . I couldn 't breathe and had to call the Assassin AND Hubby to try to talk me down just so I could get myself to work . I managed to force myself in the doors and kept a low profile . My boss was watching my every move and slightly critical , but it wasn 't anything I couldn 't handle . Good , I thought . I 've got a handle on this . It 's going to be better now . Right ? RIGHT ? I should have known better . I saw the trap . I walked around the trap once , but then I just jumped right into it . My boss has told me several times she feels that I label children too easily and that I shouldn 't do that . Even if I say something is developmental , she says I am labeling them . But here 's the thing , I have a right to label some children . I have experience working with special needs kids . I know of what I speak . Parents of special needs kids have thanked me and sought me out to work with their kids . I just " get " kids with quirks . To me it 's just what makes the child unique , it 's not a life curse to have something different with your child . Anywho , remember my OCD child , the Perler bead child ? She also has a tendency to wet her pants several times a day , every day . My boss got really fed up with it today and asked me point blank if I had a opinion on why she did this . I didn 't know what to say . I knew if I said , " Why , yes , I think it is a manifestation of her OCD and we need to find something else that soothes that need , " she would say I was labeling her . But I also knew if I didn 't say anything , I would get in trouble . So I took a clinical approach . I simply said , " Well , I knPosted by You may not know the name Pat Hingle , but he was a long - time actor and you have probably seen his face a million times . His most famous role was that of Commissioner Gordon in the Batman movies . But he was so much more than an actor . He was a very nice man , never tainted by fame and wealth . I had the great fortune to know him in my younger and wilder days . He was always so nice to me and made me smile whenever our paths crossed . Today he passed away from cancer . The world has lost one of the last , great motion picture actors . Goodbye , Pat . On the way to church last week , E and I had the misfortune of passing a recreational lake as they were pulling a dead body out of the spillway area . The body had been covered , but of course , E had a lot of questions about how the person died . Not knowing anything about the person , but knowing the area , I told her it was probably a homeless person . We talked a little about the perils that might befall a homeless person and cause his or her death . After a moment of silence , E let out a big sigh and said , " Mommy , there is just so much sadness in my life . " I didn 't know what to say . She is after all , 7 , how much sadness can there be ? So I asked her why she said that . To which she replied , " Because Mommy , how am I going to help ALL of these people ? " I thought about that . She 's 7 . Have I really put the weight of the world on her shoulders ? Should she be worried about these things at this age ? Can she help " all of these people ? " In the end I simply answered , " E , you help one person at a time and you never assume someone else is going to do it . " And she seemed to be okay with that answer . But I also realized , my daughter really is in this world to change it . And I guess she 's going to drag me along , too . On that note , tomorrow is Epiphany . It is also the fourth anniversary of my friend , Christi 's death . She was a great person who lived her life in such a manner as to change the world . It didn 't matter to her if you were gay , straight , black , white , rich or poor . If you needed her , she was there . She lived simply so that she could afford to help others . She quietly provided Christmas to 3 other families each year . She spoke out when people were being treated poorly and she would give her coat away to a homeless person saying she could always buy another one , even if it was 20 degrees at the time . I don 't think I 'll ever get over her death . So each year on Epiphany I try to do one small thing to change the world . This year , will you join me ? |
Disclaimer : In the following post I am in no way demeaning , degrading or making fun of overweight people . I am overweight . I am taking medicine to try to curb my food addiction . I have tried and failed every diet possible and I struggle with weight control . So , just to be clear , this post is not meant to be cruel . It is just a stream of consciousness rambling looking at what makes me tick kind of thing . So I think it is fair to say I have had a bad week this week . To recap and to add to what you didn 't know : I told my boss off , one church member got arrested for breaking and entering , another got arrested for 1st degree murder , a friend 's father died and another good friend threw a drink at her husband in a continuing downward spiral of their marriage in which I am trying so hard to NOT tell her what I really think and instead to just listen and be supportive right now . Our church had a meeting talking about changing its status ( meaning it wouldn 't keep Hubby and we will more than likely be moving ) and I 've been dealing with a bad cold . I know , wah for me . But there it is , a pretty crappy week . Every day this week I have told myself if I could just make it to Saturday , I would let myself wallow in bed a while and succumb to my lovely 500 thread count sheets . And yes , I know , an inability to get out of bed is a sign of depression , but this week kind of tips the scales , don 't ya think ? So as I was wallowing in bed , I was thinking about a TV series I had watched while I was on the Wild Island and had access to cable ( did you know I don 't have cable ? ) . The series focused on 1 / 2 ton people . One was called " 1 / 2 Ton Mom " another was " 1 / 2 Ton Dad " , etc . I watched about 4 of these shows just flabbergasted with these people . I mean , come on . How in the world did these people let themselves get so fat that they ended up unable to lift themselves up off of a bed ? Who has that little respect for themselves that they allowed themselves to become 1 / 2 ton of flesh ? Hmm ? ? ? ? But all of these people had several things in common besidePosted by He was just 6 years old when I met him . Our churches had joined together for an MLK function and his AME church was hosting us . He was just a slip of a boy , with the classic high water khakis and crisply ironed white , yet slightly yellowing short - sleeved shirt that all little boys seem to wear to southern churches . He had never seen so many white people ascend on his church and his eyes grew round and wide as he hid behind his relatives , peeking at me as I waggled a finger or winked an eye . I found out his name was Dionne . The service began and he sat entrenched in the curve of a large woman 's arm , afraid to move and shame his family . But I could see that he wanted to wiggle and run free . When I walked to to the front of the church and sang my solo , his jaw dropped in surprise . I had won him over at that moment and after the service I was able to get a shy , whispered " hello . " Nothing more , but that was enough . We met up again a few years later . This time he was a member of our church . He was a budding teenager with a brain too big for his life 's position . He was stuck in the worst of the worst Projects . But he stayed away from the gangs and he tried to rise out of the muck . He has the IQ of a doctor or a scientist and knew what he could achieve , but over the years he had developed a huge distrust of anyone white . He was after all , a black , poor teenager with braids . He looked the part and he got in trouble with the law . The judge wouldn 't listen to his side . The judge believed the illegal immigrant felon drug dealer who wasn 't even supposed to be in the country over the word of a 15 year old boy . He went to juvie . He came out lost . Hubby tried to reach him over and over and over , he pulled farther and farther away . Yesterday , that sweet little shy boy who could have gotten out , didn 't . He should have gotten out , he asked for help to get out . We tried to get him out , but no one from our church would help us . We gave him rides , tried to get him a job . They turned a deaf ear to our plea . So the pull of the gangs and thPosted by I guess I have a last straw . . . and it was found today . My boss did what she does and hung me out to dry yesterday . Same old stuff , no need to rehash it . But by last night I just really felt as if my soul had been sucked out of my nose with a straw . I dreaded going into work today and I was so tired . I still have nothing to give . So when I walked into work and my boss wanted to " check in " with me about what happened , I just let it all out . I told her that for the past several months I have been extremely uncomfortable , that she had made it quite obvious that she doesn 't like me , that she tells me I am too serious but if I try to be more light - hearted that she feels that I am " too much " and essentially she has left me with nowhere to be . I also said that I feel as if I am working under a microscope and she watches my every move and expression on my face and analyzes everything . To say she was upset with me is an understatement . She put it all back on me and said it was my problem and that I have made her feel like a monster . But you know what ? For the first time in months I feel free . As soon as I said it , this vise that was forcing my eyes into a mask of pain let go and my jaw unclenched and I just didn 't care that I may have just lost my job . She can be unhappy with me all she wants . I didn 't yell at her . I didn 't say my piece in an unacceptable way . I calmly and in an adult manner stated the facts and put them out there . Now , according to my faculty handbook , if we can 't come to a resolution , I have a right to go above her head and seek help from the school director . I have spoken . Or , to bastardize a Haven Kimmel title , I Got Up off the Chair ! I am sitting here typing away on my brand new Toshiba . Readers , remember , you get what you pay for . Hubby and I bought a cheap Acer last year and the thing was a piece of crap . We wasted our money on it . But we are now back to the brand we know and love . It was a lot of money we don 't have right now , but at least I don 't have to hold the screen with my left hand just to keep it from fuzzing up ! Many years ago when I was working at my first Montessori school , I came across the book , The Giving Tree . I remembered reading that book over and over as a child and really loving it . I thought the idea of having a friend that you were willing to share everything with was worthwhile and comforting . But when I came across it in the library at the school , the director of the school informed me that I was NEVER to read it to any of the children there , that it was a horrible book and taught a bad lesson . I remember looking at the woman like she was crazy , but she was in charge , so I agreed and I never thought very much more about it - until recently . But now I think I am beginning to understand . I think I am kind of like that tree . I am a mom so I provide branches to protect my child . I am a wife , so I provide shade to comfort my husband . I am the pastor 's wife so I provide apples to try to keep the church fruitful . I have friends who are going through some rough patches so I offer them my branches to keep their homelives strong . My parents live near so I give up my leaves of time to satisfy their need to see my child . I am a teacher so I give up my trunk and leave my home and child to give other people 's kids a better start in this world . I give and give and give and give . . . . and the past few days I feel like there is very little left . I " have nothing left to give . " Just like the tree . But here 's the kicker , even when the tree says " I have nothing left to give , " the boy still asks for one more thing , a quiet place to sit . And this is where I see why the director of my school hated that book . Instead of telling the boy to get his oPosted by Hubby has done something to our old computer to get it back up and running . . . for now at least . I have to type very gently so as not to disturb or anger it lest the screen starts fuzzing up and loses its vertical hold again like it is won 't to do . Thinking about our former small town , pop . 259 , reminded me of something else that happened while we lived there that I witnessed . Hubby was the county life insurance man at the time and when we moved into the town , I started working at the little town pharmacy . Normally small southern towns have a tendency to be suspicious of outsiders , especially ones with midwestern accents ( although I have now lived in the south so much that I draw my A 's out with the best of them . ) However , because of Hubby 's job , and because people were able to see first hand that I could be trusted to keep their medical secrets , we were accepted fairly quickly into the community . The local moonshiner was a customer of Hubby 's , so we always had a jar sitting around just to show off to visitors as if to say " Hey , look at us now , we 're one of the chosen ones ! " But we loved it there and would live there still if Hubby hadn 't gotten The Call . Anyway , one day while I was at work at the drug store , a mom came rushing into the pharmacy with her little boy who had been badly burned on his arm . The little boy , about two , was wailing away pitifully and the mom was practically tearing her hair out in fear and her own mental anguish . Our local doctor 's office was closed and this mom did not have any insurance to take her son to the hospital . Even if she did have insurance , I 'm not sure she would have taken him since a lot of the country folks in the area just didn 't trust doctors they didn 't know . So she came to the pharmacist , who was possibly the most respected man in our town . The pharmacist took one look at the burn and realized it was beyond any medicine , prescription or otherwise , that he had to offer . He then went to the phone and made a call . I thought he was making a call to an EMS until I heard him say Posted by I haven 't made fun of Hubby in a while , but I was very good to him on our snow day . Most of you may or may not believe this , but I am a very traditional kind of wife . That does not mean I am a traditional thinker . I am most definitely NOT a traditional thinker , but I do take a certain pleasure in cooking for my Hubby , mainly because that is one simple thing that really makes him feel loved . So before I tell a story about him , just let me share how well he was treated today . I woke up and cooked blueberry pancakes with REAL blueberries . Sadly they are from Chile , but still , tranportation miles don 't count on snow days . I also cooked REAL bacon . We have real bacon maybe . . . MAYBE . . . once a year . Then , after playing in the snow , I made his favorite winter comfort food lunch of grilled ham and cheese sandwiches with tomato soup . Not just any tomato soup , but tomato soup made with milk . I really can 't stand it that way , but . . . Finally , for dinner , I made baked sweet potatoes , homemade applesauce and ham steaks . To say he was a happy camper was an understatement . Normally I make him eat spinach salad and roast chicken , occasionally baked eggplant if he 's lucky , but today we splurged ! ( Hmm , I also just realized we eat a lot of pig when we splurge . I guess that 's why they call it feast or famine . ) So , I hope you agree , his tummy is too full to notice that I am about to , once again , reveal his gift of hindsight . I was reading Freedragon 's post about her troubles with her heater and it reminded me of this story , so thanks for being my muse today . Anywho , before Hubby decided to be a pastor , Hubby and I bought a house in a very small town ( pop , 259 ) . We bought the house for $ 53 , 000 but got a special kind of loan that gave us $ 22 , 000 to renovate it . And it needed renovation . The house was a catalog house that old - timers still remembered being brought in on the train in pieces . The train stopped running to that town in the early 30 's . If you ever watched the sitcom , Roseanne , when they showed her house , there was a house right next Posted by If you are not a church goer , this post will mean nothing to you , so you might want to come back tomorrow . I also need to tell you my husband and I went out for these huge $ 10 . 99 margaritas tonight , so my typing is a little wonky . Bear with me . But something happened today and I need to get it out . Today was a normal Sunday . I got to church , did my preschool Sunday school class , ran to choir practice , went to church , left in the middle to help with the children 's church and then left children 's church early to go and set up food for the coffee / cookie time after the service . Ideally a family signs up every week to offer food to the church members each week , but as is often the case , no one had signed up for this week and one of our lifers was having a birthday , so Hubby asked me to take care of it . I have had too much tequila to figure out how to put this into this post , but I need to let you know that Hubby , who has NO secretary or office help , really messed up the bulletin for the church service this week . Remember that . . . I 'll come back to it . Hubby had set the coffee up to brew before he went in to the service and I was setting the food out when church let out early . I was caught in the midst of putting the food out when congregants started coming into the Fellowship Hall . They swooped down on the food and I could barely get the replacement food on the table when people started fussing at me that there was no coffee . Where was the coffee ? What was this ? Just cookie ? Where the HELL was the coffee ? No one could be bothered to say thank you for spending our own hard - earned money on coffee / cookie . No one could be bothered to offer to help me put stuff out . They just complained that there was no coffee . But you see , Hubby had MADE coffee , the coffee maker malfunctioned , but nobody could be bothered to look at it . And nobody could be bothered to take my place and put plates of goodies out so I could look at it . All they could do was complain . And there I was with a knife in my hand taking the heat . And let me tell you , IPosted by I failed to mention several weeks ago that Uncle Junior died suddenly of a massive heart attack while he was still in he hospital . It took everybody by surprise and therefore was that much more devastating , but at least he was not alone . We did not attend the funeral because we were already on the Wild Island and committed to follow the course once there . Whack job Ex - fiance has not called , although we have received several blocked calls that have gone unanswered . I received a lot of comments stating that I should not have insisted she call the house . I guess I just was marking my territory and showing her that my balls were bigger . I seriously doubt she will have the nerve to call the house . For those of you who followed my old blog , Pregnant Partner and I have actually managed to form a gentle friendship again . We are never going to be more then superficial friends , but it is easy and nice and her son loves me , so she is happy . I am sorry for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about , but it is TOO long to go into again . E 's teacher spent all week teaching her that MLK , Jr would have been 81 this year . At first I just rolled my eyes and phftted at it . I 'm obviously not going to fight that battle . But then I got to thinking , am I willing to overlook the mistake because I am a middle class white American who never had any relative who had to sit in the back of the bus ? What would I do if she were teaching the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1777 ( and yes , I know it finished up being signed in 1777 , but that 's besides the point ) ? I just need to get E through this year . Lastly , Evil Genius Neighbor 's daughter is in the hospital with pneumonia and I am livid . . . judgmental and livid . This poor girl is a pawn in her parent 's divorce and neither parent truly cares about her well - being . She has horrible asthma and her doctor and JUDGE has ordered the pets be removed from the houses , but her mom has a dog and a cat and her dad has a bird . She is behind in reading , but neither parent believes in reading Posted by I so desperately want to share my week of ducking and covering from constant criticism from my Lead Teacher . It was non - stop and amazingly insane . Can I share just one example , please ? We were having a night time open house , so she told me to take a student 's work , cover it with a mat and put it on the cubbies out in the hallway so it wouldn 't get messed with . I did exactly as she asked . But when I went back to get it the next day , it was gone . She huffed at me and said , AND I QUOTE , " I know you meant well , but it was just too much stuff in the hallway . " I meant well ? I didn 't mean well . I was following orders . And I know it seems like petty nothing stuff , but imagine 20 or 30 of those petty nothing things EVERY DAY ! ! BUT . . . . I will rise . . . I will rise . . . I will let it go and tell you about the joys of being a pastor 's wife . Because something else happened this week that really tweaked me in all the wrong places . I will be the first to admit I am not the world 's best pastor 's wife . I am someone who struggles daily with a crisis in faith . I was not raised in a church and my family was not particularly religious . So you can imagine what a large adjustment it was for me to go from NO church to being the woman behind the leader OF the church . I make mistakes and I fight desperately to maintain my small corner of myself . But I am still involved . So I was very surprised by a conversation I had the other day as I was driving a church member to church choir practice . Remember that sentence because I will repeat it in a minute . The CM was telling me about another woman she is friends with who is the wife of a Lutheran minister . And she said , " And she 's just like you , she takes a hand 's off approach with the church and makes sure the church knows that she is not part of a package deal . Her husband is the pastor but she doesn 't want to have anything to do with the church . " I just about slammed on the brakes and dropped her out of the still rolling car right then and there . I couldn 't believe she was comparing me to this woman ! Posted by Many people find it hard to believe , but pastors weren 't born pastors . Most of them lived lives prior to receiving their call into ministry and more than a few of them lived their lives " in sin " before becoming pastors . Hubby was no exception . We met in 1994 by chance . We started dating on a whim and agreed we were just going to have a brief fling and then go our separate ways . Hubby was in my town for a few short weeks and was then being sent back to whence he came . I was never supposed to see him again because his home was clear across the country and we agreed neither of us wanted a long - distance romance . We had a torrid , passionate , exciting affair and then he got in his car and drove away . It was an amazing time in in my life , the kind that books are written about and people relive for years to come ; but it was also the most painful time in my life . As he drove away I was heartbroken and empty , unable to cry because I had done this to myself . I had agreed to this short time of bliss , knowing it would end with me alone . But I had thought it better to love and lose . . . For you see , Hubby was engaged . I didn 't know that the first night I met him or I would have never allowed the relationship to come about . I 'm not that kind of person . I take vows and oaths very seriously . But Hubby was young and out of his element and , well , he had been engaged for three years , so he was more than a little frustrated ( and you can take that any way you want ) . Three years is a long time to be engaged , but she just kept putting off the date for one reason or another . She wanted to finish college . She wanted to get her Masters . She wanted to move and get her life established . She wanted him to be willing to follow her career . She wanted him to give up a lot to wait on her . He would have done all of that , if she would have just gone ahead and married him . She was the daughter of a pastor and had very strict rules and expectations for their life together . And then he met me . The me of then was much different from the me of now . I was bolPosted by I have always thought that I suffered from the House of Usher disease . You know the story by Poe , Fall of the House of Usher ? The main character has a hypersensitivity to sights , sound , SMELL , taste and touch . That is me to a tee . I can 't walk through a clothing store because I can smell the petroleum in the fabrics . I certainly can 't touch any of the clothing because when I reach for something that I think is going to feel soft , it turns out to have some sort of strange , unnaturally - created dye that stays on my fingers and irritates me the rest of the day . Bright lights send me running for sun glasses at all hours of the day and people who sing , if they 're even just a hair off - pitch , well , my eyes cross and I lose my sense of balance when that happens . I 'm just that sensitive to things . But I must say , of all of these things , the smell thing gets me the most . I can handle all of the other sensory overloads , but not THE SMELL ! This became worse when I was pregnant . Something happened to me and I was rendered incapable of eating anything at all . I was a lousy pregnant person . There was not a day of my pregnancy that I enjoyed , nor was there a day when I was not miserably sick . Only , if you remember , I have an iron stomach , so even though I wanted to throw up every single day for 38 solid weeks , I never could . It wasn 't the fact that I wasn 't hungry , I was . I just couldn 't get past the smell of the food . I was truly living on three things : oatmeal , grits and ( believe it or not ) eggplant parmesan subs . But they had to be subs , not just eggplant parmesan on a plate . I guess I needed the bread to soak up the smell . So anywho , Hubby was well aware of what was going on with my olfactory system , because he was making a sub run every 3 or 4 days when oatmeal and grits just wouldn 't cut it . AND he sat with me in the emergency room for 12 solid hours when I was 17 weeks pregnant with dehydration because even the subs failed me at that point and I couldn 't force myself to drink our water . For you see , at that time , we lived inPosted by In case you haven 't been able to tell , my family is very liberal . So I was greatly distressed when my dad told me E had called something he did " gay . " Now I know there is a lot of internet discussion back and forth about whether or not using the term " gay " as slang is appropriate or not , but I don 't want my daughter using it unless she is describing Christmas ornaments or same - sex couples . After all , our church has several gay members and I have several life long gay friends . I don 't want her to slip up in their presence and cause a riot . So today Hubby , E and I were in the car and I asked her if she knew what gay meant . She said no , so I told her . The conversation degraded from there : ME : Gay means when a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman like mommy and daddy love each other . E : Like your friend A is gay . Because she 's married to a woman . ME : Yes . Just like that . E : But she 's a witch , too . ( She practices paganism ) ME : Yes , she 's a gay witch . E : But how did she learn to be a witch ? ME : Well , I think her mom and her grandma taught her . Hubby : But I thought she was raised Catholic ? Me : Her dad is Catholic . E : So she 's a Gay Catholic Witch ? I wasn 't about to get into the ramifications of all that , but if you ever wonder what your clergy talk about , it 's probably not that . But then again , we 're not your normal clergy family . I wasn 't going to put any more energy into my situation with my boss this week , but an anonymous commenter struck a nerve with me and I wanted to clarify a few things . The commenter suggested I try to make myself available to my boss , befriend her , and treat her as I would my kids , repeat what she says and make sure she feels heard . I totally agree with this . But . . . I have tried all of these things . My boss was singing in a choir concert and I spent $ 20 to go to her concert to hear her sing . She said she had always wanted to Christmas carol , so I arranged a group caroling session . Every time she criticizes me , I repeat what she says to her and I try to let her know I have listened . But what happens is that she tells me to do something and I do it , but then she gets mad at me and criticizes me in front of the kids for doing what she asked . Case in point - we have a boy who is very high need and immature . He pushes all of her buttons and she becomes very irritated very fast with him . She was giving him a lesson and he refused to work by himself . If she left him to continue working , he stopped and started distracting other children . She came over to me and said , " I am getting irritated with ( child ) . Will you please sit with him and get him to finish his work ? " He had one math problem that he had to do . Remember , this is with Montessori materials , so one problem can be pretty intensive . So I sat down and started doing just that . About 5 minutes later she came over and told me she didn 't want me just sitting with him . He was taking up too much of my time and was going to start to rely on me working with him . I stood up and told her that I thought she had asked me to sit down and get him to finish his work . She said that is NOT what she said . But she did , it 's kind of hard to misunderstand 8 or 9 words . . . . So , in the end , there is only one answer for me in this situation . And I hate it and I run from it every time . But I just have to rise . I always have to rise like frigging cream . I realized in reading my own stuff that Posted by I told myself that I was going to start this new year with a good attitude . I was going to come back from my two week break from work with fresh eyes and a hopeful new approach . Things with my lead teacher were just strained because the kids had Christmas Fever in December . I was going to turn over a new leaf and make things right ! Right ? As I was driving to work yesterday morning I had a full blown , knock down , drag out panic attack . It was so bad my finger tips went numb . I couldn 't breathe and had to call the Assassin AND Hubby to try to talk me down just so I could get myself to work . I managed to force myself in the doors and kept a low profile . My boss was watching my every move and slightly critical , but it wasn 't anything I couldn 't handle . Good , I thought . I 've got a handle on this . It 's going to be better now . Right ? RIGHT ? I should have known better . I saw the trap . I walked around the trap once , but then I just jumped right into it . My boss has told me several times she feels that I label children too easily and that I shouldn 't do that . Even if I say something is developmental , she says I am labeling them . But here 's the thing , I have a right to label some children . I have experience working with special needs kids . I know of what I speak . Parents of special needs kids have thanked me and sought me out to work with their kids . I just " get " kids with quirks . To me it 's just what makes the child unique , it 's not a life curse to have something different with your child . Anywho , remember my OCD child , the Perler bead child ? She also has a tendency to wet her pants several times a day , every day . My boss got really fed up with it today and asked me point blank if I had a opinion on why she did this . I didn 't know what to say . I knew if I said , " Why , yes , I think it is a manifestation of her OCD and we need to find something else that soothes that need , " she would say I was labeling her . But I also knew if I didn 't say anything , I would get in trouble . So I took a clinical approach . I simply said , " Well , I knPosted by You may not know the name Pat Hingle , but he was a long - time actor and you have probably seen his face a million times . His most famous role was that of Commissioner Gordon in the Batman movies . But he was so much more than an actor . He was a very nice man , never tainted by fame and wealth . I had the great fortune to know him in my younger and wilder days . He was always so nice to me and made me smile whenever our paths crossed . Today he passed away from cancer . The world has lost one of the last , great motion picture actors . Goodbye , Pat . On the way to church last week , E and I had the misfortune of passing a recreational lake as they were pulling a dead body out of the spillway area . The body had been covered , but of course , E had a lot of questions about how the person died . Not knowing anything about the person , but knowing the area , I told her it was probably a homeless person . We talked a little about the perils that might befall a homeless person and cause his or her death . After a moment of silence , E let out a big sigh and said , " Mommy , there is just so much sadness in my life . " I didn 't know what to say . She is after all , 7 , how much sadness can there be ? So I asked her why she said that . To which she replied , " Because Mommy , how am I going to help ALL of these people ? " I thought about that . She 's 7 . Have I really put the weight of the world on her shoulders ? Should she be worried about these things at this age ? Can she help " all of these people ? " In the end I simply answered , " E , you help one person at a time and you never assume someone else is going to do it . " And she seemed to be okay with that answer . But I also realized , my daughter really is in this world to change it . And I guess she 's going to drag me along , too . On that note , tomorrow is Epiphany . It is also the fourth anniversary of my friend , Christi 's death . She was a great person who lived her life in such a manner as to change the world . It didn 't matter to her if you were gay , straight , black , white , rich or poor . If you needed her , she was there . She lived simply so that she could afford to help others . She quietly provided Christmas to 3 other families each year . She spoke out when people were being treated poorly and she would give her coat away to a homeless person saying she could always buy another one , even if it was 20 degrees at the time . I don 't think I 'll ever get over her death . So each year on Epiphany I try to do one small thing to change the world . This year , will you join me ? |
Bring on the Pallets Posted on May 4 , 2017 by fairchris May 4 - As we have written about before , we volunteered for the Harvesters ' distribution of food each month . We have been very fortunate during all of the winter months , as we have not missed even one distribution day because of cold or snow or even rain ! I think of God 's goodness as we have bright days for the giving of food . [ Cars waiting for their food ] After the truck has driven off , and the parking lot has been cleared of all of the extra cardboard boxes , which are burned in the location behind the church , the area looks clean again . THEN we see and hear the beginning tiny rain drops that soon grow into a shower while all of the volunteers are on their way home , not getting one bit wet from the rain ! A number of times , early in the week , we have seen on the news that there will be rain on Wednesday , our food distribution day . I 'm glad that the predictions made by the weathermen aren 't always correct ! During our most recent trip , the Harvesters crew were trying a new plan . . In all of the years we have been volunteers , the huge truck drives up into the church parking lot , the truck doors on both sides of the truck are quickly opened , the tables set up , and we volunteers get to work piling up the items in our particular section . Soon we are ready for Jim to go out to the road and send the vehicles on their way to the food tables . From there , they drive around to the other side of the truck and receive more food waiting for them . Mike , another one of the volunteers , helped guide Dennis to the dropping - off place and kept other folks out of the way of the tractor and scoop , lest they suffer injury ! Speaking of Mike , when we arrived at the parking lot before the action began , I took some seed catalogs over to him , catalogs that Dale receives so many of . Both of those guys are avid catalog readers , always looking for something new to plant ! At the same time I gave to Donnalene a plastic bag of books for her small grandchildren . I think I mentioned James in an earlier blog . He is the really cute little guy who just turned five , and always greets me with a big smile and a hopeful question , " You got books ? " [ What a variety ! ] By the time we were ready to start the distribution , the vehicles with their occupants were part of the line that stretched way up the hill . As I thought of the kinds of food that we passed out to the folks , I was both pleased and surprised at the variety and amounts . Now this is just from my remembrance , as checked by Dale ( and we probably forgot some ) . There were big watermelons , apples , blueberries , grapes , grapefruits , huge oranges , tangerines , plums , strawberries , lemons , limes , mangoes , tomatoes , fruit and vegetable trays , lettuce , bagged salads , mushrooms , garlic , soft drinks , brown eggs , donuts , muffins , cakes , all kinds of crackers , and yogurt ! [ Grapes , anyone ? ] Through the years we 've become friends with many of those who receive the food . If I happen to be close to the car , I will quickly move over to shake hands or give a hug to the driver . This last time , I was behind the big box trying to reach way down to the bottom to bring up the last of the food , when I heard somebody calling me , I nearly fell back into the box , but was able to get back to my feet and hurry over to give the driver a big hug . I really think I enjoy the hugs and good wishes more than anything else on Harvesters ' Day ! But I will never take for granted the wonderful work that the organization does in so many areas . - CHRIS Picking Morels , Hoping for Fruit Trees Posted on April 30 , 2017 by fairchris [ Covered all over with sweet violets ] April 30 - This whole last week has been grey and damp , not particularly fit for outdoor activities . We had some thunder before we went to bed last night , and then as we lay in bed , the lightning put on its display . Sometimes one can actually see the lightning with the eyes closed , but last night that didn 't work for me . Will have to put out the rain gauge as it probably is not going to freeze anymore . At least we know the wildflowers like the rain . A couple of days ago we planted our little Candy onion seedlings , and yesterday we planted a whole row of baby cabbage plants . The rain last night took care of their moisture needs . I 'm waiting to put out our tomato seedlings until early next month , just in case . Will have to mix up a batch of fertilizer to pour on those pots . Chris has been working on our yucca patch on the front bank , and the few remaining plants have all been cut off , but their large roots remain , too large to just dig out and I am not going to work on slopes with my balance problems . Our yucca patch used to be large and imposing but has died back and had few plants remaining . Chris blames voles for digging in and eating the tubers . [ Chris pulling out the yucca plants ] I had a hard time facing the morning today . That bedside clock said it was 9 : 30 before I got up . So much to do , inside and outside , but my personal activator needed more rest . We have a push mower that will not start , so I shall have to take it over to our repairman and see what he can do . Our son - in - law Harvey stopped by the other day to see if he could influence the thing but it remained silent . Everything is so green now , including the lawn that always seems determined to keep us behind in our mowing . The dandelion stems are standing tall all over the place , reminding me to get to work on that Stihl weed eater for which we bought an attachment last week . The original system has a rather complex method of installing the cutting twine , and I cannot grasp the details , so instead bought a device with lengths of the twine that one sticks in on both sides of the head and just uses them until they are too short and need to be replaced . [ Fresh morels ] I don 't remember if I mentioned in an earlier blog about finding a patch of large morel mushrooms in the back of our property . They were certainly attractive and eye - catching , and I collected a good number of them in a box . We very seldom find morels although they are common in areas not too far from here . These were all hollow , and I opened them all and washed them . One of the nicest ones had a whole colony of ants living in it , and I just consigned morel and ants to the trash can . Chris cooked them all ( not the ants ) and served them to me for supper , not taking any for herself . Must be that she is not a mushroom lover . These morels may have been a trifle over - aged , but the taste was ' fair to middlin ' and I consumed the lot . I 'm hoping that the several I had left growing out there will produce spores for a good crop next spring . We have a variety of fruit trees and flowering trees on our property , and one never knows what a particular tree will produce each year . Our two apricot trees will have no fruit at all , our two pear trees just a few , the two giant Asian pear trees will have just a few pears despite the heavy crop last year , and the three Nanking bush cherries have no crop this year . But our three sour cherry trees are just loaded with cherries . Am hoping the two chestnut trees will bear well , but they don 't even have any blooms on them yet . [ Quality Hill Playhouse program ] Our son David took us to a musical program in Kansas City this past week . The MC and pianist was J . Kent Barnhart , a talented musician who kept a very straight face as he played and spoke and made various witticisms that kept the audience laughing . His father Don is a good friend of ours and lives just down the highway a couple of miles away , but we have never gotten acquainted with Kent . On the way home we stopped in to see Don and to introduce our son and to say how we had enjoyed Kent 's program . Recently David arranged with his tax man to do our tax returns for 2016 too . In the past we have always had our taxes done by an AARP volunteer , but this year we were a bit too late in making our request and there were no more time slots available . Ah well , we did our part in improving the economy ! - DALE Later that day we were shopping at Wal - Mart trying to find a blind to replace one that had been damaged , plus a small container of Liquid Plumbr . We walked from aisle to aisle , but just didn 't look in the right area . We decided to stop and ask a tall man who was sweeping the aisles with a huge broom . " Well , I 'm not sure where those blinds are either , " he said . Awhile later , as we were still hunting , we met the same man , who told us to follow him , and he would take us to the proper area . Nice he remembered ! As we were checking out the various kinds and sizes , an older couple was doing the same thing . Since I had just come from the hospital I told them about Rita , and her desire to help others . Then I told them about the man with the big broom , the one who led us to the place where we were now checking out the blinds . Finally , as they had found what they wanted , they said they had enjoyed the conversation and stories . The lady 's last words to me ? " I have decided just to be kind . You have had a real effect on me ! " Now I wouldn 't go that far ! It was the kind people that I had told her about who really made the difference . Just after that , I stopped to wash my hands . Just as I was about to leave , a lady stepped up and said , " I can tell you are really nice . " Well , I didn 't know quite what to say except , " Thank you . What makes me " nice ? " " Well , you just look so good , and I can tell you 're not exactly young as far as age goes . But I can tell you are happy , and YOU DON ' T EVEN HAVE A CANE ! " - CHRIS Visiting the Docs Posted on April 27 , 2017 by fairchris April 27 - Last month after my doctor had checked over the report sent to her by the one who did all of the testing to find out what makes me tick ( or if I can still keep going ) , she started reading the results aloud . " OK for that , " she said as she read the first line . Glucose the same , blood pressure was good , cholesterol , and triglycerides were good . [ Bone density numbers ] When she found no problem , she asked , " Have you ever had a bone density test ? " My answer ? " No , I don 't even know what that is ! " I guess she was thinking about my age when she suggested that I should have one ! After that test done by Latisha , a very caring young lady , my doctor told me to keep on doing what I have been doing , and all will be well ! Now that was good news ! As I stopped to thank Fallon , at the patient registration area , I received a big hug from one who treated every patient with a real welcome ! [ Mammogram machine ] Just a short time later , I was scheduled for my yearly mammogram at the same hospital . As I was sitting in the lobby reading , a happy looking lady came out to ask with a question mark in her voice , " Are you Chris ? " As I walked along with her , she led me down the hall to the room where mammograms were taken . Very friendly and concerned that all would go well , Rita started a few conversations . That was great , as I always like to make new friends , even in a hospital situation ! As she prepared for the test , she reminded me several times that if I were in pain , I should let her know so she could fix the problem . My answer was always the same , " It has to be done , so what good would it do to complain and start all over again ? So , I wouldn 't tell you if it were painful , but it isn 't anyway ! " When the test was completed , we talked a little bit about our lives , etc . As I mentioned being a missionary in Africa , her face brightened , and she said , " I knew it ! I just knew it ! This morning , when I saw the list of patients I would have today , I was pretty sure that this would be the third year I had done a mammogram for you . I just hoped it would be , but I waited to be sure , until you mentioned your work in Africa ! " I don 't remember whether her hug or mine was the most joyous and appreciated , but I do know it was a blessing to see each other again . I was especially glad that she had not forgotten me ! After she had checked to make sure the test was satisfactory , and that she didn 't have to do another one , I got dressed and ready to go out to the lobby to tell Dale the good news . [ Who you winkin ' at ? ] Along the way we talked about winking , of all things ! When I told her I have never ever been able to wink with my right eye , she laughed and said , " Me neither ! " Back in my teen years , a number of us young folks would get together for a meal and games . We played games like Winkum , where the girls sat in a circle of chairs , and each of the boys would stand in back of a seated girl . One boy would have an empty chair , and he would wink at a girl hoping she would escape before the boy behind her held her back and quickly move to the chair of the boy who winked . Then the boy with an empty chair had to do the winking . So we two were the same in at least one way ! We also talked about helping others when we can . When I asked her to go out with me to find Dale , she readily agreed . Not only did I want her to meet him , but I wanted him to hear the story about blinking ! After one last hug , Rita pointed out she tries to treat everyone with kindness . Sometimes folks need an extra helping of that because they aren 't feeling well , especially in the hospital . While we are trying to help others to cope with problems they are having , the happiness that we share , always comes back to us ! - CHRIS [ Discarded euphorbia ] In front of our big living room window , I had a quite large euphorbia candelabra plant … at least until earlier this month . However , it no longer wanted to stand upright and kept leaning over onto the curtains . So I got a big pair of clippers and cut off the top several inches of the plant , with a lot of branches . Euphorbias contain a lot of white , milky juice , and that juice was soon splattered around abundantly . The top section is now downstairs , drying out , and one of these days I shall plant it in a pot and hope it roots successfully . The rest of the plant is out on the lawn , destined for the garbage heap . [ Spring daffodils ] In our back yard our daffodil display is still quite colorful . Some of the flowers have faded , but other varieties are bright and visible from quite a distance . We have a couple of clumps that are just loaded with dozens of blooms , a different sort that grows a lot of bulbs in one big ball , all sort of grown together . You don 't plant this kind of daffodil with a single bulb , but with a whole clump . We have two long rows of daffodil bulbs blooming , that were sent to us by Chris ' younger brother Pete Christoph as a memorial of our dear daughter Biz who passed away in 2011 . Pete too has passed away , and now these flowers are a memorial to both . - DALE Thoughts on Food - Fourth and Final Course Posted on April 21 , 2017 by fairchris [ Fresh cornbread ] April 21 - Dale really enjoys the golden corn bread that I make from time to time . You can find the recipe for this particular treat just about anywhere : in recipe books , on line , and sometimes on the box in which the main ingredients comes . I prefer eating mine just as it is with nothing on it . Dale likes his with butter , but most of all , he enjoys breaking it into pieces for his morning cereal and milk . Awhile back we were given several dozen big brown eggs . Well , not just " big " but huge ! Thus far , every time I have broken one of these eggs open , TWO yokes pop out ! Hardly ever in my whole life have I seen that many . Maybe once in a couple months have I seen an egg with two yokes . But these I am writing about now would make me very surprised any more if only one yoke fell into the dish ! [ Strawberries ] Both of us appreciate the strawberries that were picked from our garden strawberry bed and put into the freezer . Another fruit that is most enjoyable is the sour cherry that makes so many treats , both as pies and puddings . I do NOT like the time we spend pitting the cherries , especially when the juice pops out and lands in my eye ! Oh , well , it 's better when we do that in the winter , rather than do the job when we pick them off the tree in the summer ! No extra time then . - CHRIS Thoughts on Food - Third Course Posted on April 19 , 2017 by fairchris April 19 - For our third course , here are a couple other food tales while I am thinking way back . First of all , when I was about ten , my mother decided that I should have a surprise birthday party to celebrate the first decade of my life ! Just a few of the neighbor kids arrived along with a couple from the school . When they arrived , several other older folks drove up , too . And then out came the food : fresh strawberry shortcake and ice cream , a treat that we hardly ever had ! [ Wild Strawberries ] During strawberry season , Mom would get up early and off to the fields we would go . Those trips made it possible to fill our stomachs with nothing but berries . We hardly ever had ice cream because we couldn 't afford it for one thing , and with no refrigerator what we did have would melt before we ate it all . But now back to my birthday ! When the guests arrived , I just couldn 't figure out how they knew it was my special day , and then I began to also wonder how Mom could serve everyone a nice big bowl of fresh shortcake topped with the special ice cream ! When I asked my mom later how it all came about , she laughed and said , " Sis , you were sitting right there on the couch reading when I called your Aunt Annie and we planned it together . Lots of fun , wasn 't it ? " Yes , it was , and still is as I think about it right now . You might be surprised that we had a telephone back in those early days . We had just gotten one the year before . When I first called one of my school friends , I just about dropped the phone when she said hello and sounded just as if she were sitting next to me in the classroom ! How in the world could she be several miles away and I could still understand every word she said ! [ Aprons from Mom ] Had just taken off my apron before I opened up the computer to write these notes . An apron ? Nobody even owns an apron these days ! Well , I do , not just one but about fifty , each one made by my Mom for me ! The ones I am using now are washed , ironed and folded up before putting them back in the drawer . One box in the basement holds the rest of those pretty aprons . When one I use is about ready to die of old age , I toss it out and add one of the new ones to those in the drawer . I just don 't feel fully clothed when I am working in the kitchen without the protection of an apron ! [ Napkins from Dale 's mother ] Along that line , I have about 100 cloth napkins , most of them made by Dale 's mother , who used a sewing machine so small that she always put it up on the kitchen table to do her work . Such fine straight seams . Oh , I almost forgot this : the material for one special set of napkins was cut from a new bed sheet ! Then Mom used the second sheet with the same pattern to fix up a tablecloth to go with the napkins ! She always came up with that kind of bright idea , I guess maybe because in Africa she couldn 't find what she needed , so had to make new plans that would fit the situation . Both of our mothers were so special to us , and we knew we were blessed to have them . - CHRIS Cows . And Squirrels . And Gluten . Posted on April 14 , 2017 by fairchris [ Three cows and a truck ] April 14 - An interesting event took place across the road from us last week , in a pasture where cattle belonging to our son - in - law and his parents graze and wander about freely . We noticed a brown cow lying on her side in the pasture and wondered why she never got up and grazed . Then the next morning she was still out there , lying on her side but in a different area . Every now and then she would kick her legs in the air and then subside . A couple of black cows came over and just stood there close to her , interested in what was going on . We decided to phone Harvey , our son - in - law , and tell him that something was wrong with one of their cows . In a few minutes he drove over in a farm truck and went out and circled the cow and then went back to the farm buildings . Shortly after that a red truck belonging to his son Robbie came over and went out to the cow , and Harvey came back too . The two men looked closely at the cow , and Robbie got something out of his truck , that looked suspiciously like a rifle , stood over the cow , and then put his rifle back in his truck . While Harvey got busy with the cow 's hind legs , a tractor driven by his father appeared . A rope tied to the hind legs was attached to the tractor and away it went , dragging the dead cow . We don 't know where they took it . Harvey phoned in a few minutes to thank us for notifying them of this cow , and to say it was an old cow , around 20 years old , that they had tried to catch for years but it always ran away and escaped . [ Squirrel knocker ] We have been much annoyed by squirrels coming to our bird feeder and stealing a lot of the sunflower seed that we put out for the birds . Finally this morning I put out something that I was hoping would keep them scared and back in the woods . It is a long piece of wood , maybe five feet long , that has a hole near one end that slides down over a round stick driven deep into the soil . I tied a long string to the one end and took the other end of the string up to the garage . Come feeding time I put a lot of seed near this stick and will wait for a squirrel to arrive , as they always do . Then I will pull on that string vigorously and the long section will swing out and hit that squirrel . Hopefully it will stay far away for quite a while and will maybe learn to stay away for ever . Maybe it will be wise to smear some sticky and nasty - tasting stuff on that stick , so that when Squirrel goes to lick his fur , he will get a very bad flavor in his mouth ! [ Homemade gluten ] Yesterday Chris put in about four busy hours making gluten . She had a big jar of gluten flour that she had bought , turned it into dough , mixed in tomato juice she had canned , and spread out a lot of patties on waxed paper . Then about a dozen patties at a time went into the tomato juice in the pressure cooker . After about 15 minutes , they were taken out ready for the next load in the cooker . Eventually she had a big bowl of patties , some bound for the freezer and some bound for the fridge and the supper table . Good stuff , this gluten . I had two big patties on toast for supper last night . Mmmmm … - DALE Thoughts on Food - Second Course Posted on April 9 , 2017 by fairchris [ A Frosted Loaf ] April 9 - Not too long ago , our grandson Robbie invited us for dinner after David had preached the sermon in church . Both Robbie and Kevin had been learning about foods of all kinds and how to prepare them all through their life with their mother , Biz . They would tackle lots of food problems and come up with all kinds of good food , most of which I wouldn 't even try to make . When we arrived at their home , we found Robbie out in the kitchen working hard on a huge loaf of sliced bread . Of course , Dale and I asked if we could help . " Naw , " he said . " I can do it OK ! " Back to the living room we went to talk with his dad Harvey , and David and his wife . Not too much later , Robbie called us to fill u plates according to our likes and dislikes . Along with the special bread with all sorts of fillings , we found a delicately browned cheese roast , lovely broccoli , an apple pie that a bakery would be proud to sell , and a refreshing drink . Robbie had lived up to his reputation ! [ Edible cement ] One of the things I make especially for David is " Cement . " I 'd have liked to see your reaction when you first read that sentence ! How could a loving mother ever agree to making that for her son ? The idea goes back to Dale 's first years in Africa when his folks were missionaries . One of the food items they could not buy there was Grape Nuts ; especially endearing to them , perhaps , as they lived in the Battle Creek , MI area where that particular cereal was manufactured by Kellogg 's . [ The original recipe ] After many tries to get the taste just right , Mom ended up with a good recipe she had figured out ; one that would provide the same cereal that they could enjoy . How well I remember making " grape nuts " for the first time . Later , with our two little ones who were born here in the states , I added my grape nuts to their diet . I think they enjoyed our variety as much as they did Kellogg 's . I 'll include the original recipe for cement so you can try it . [ Dale and the rolling pin ] Through the years I decided that it would be more fun to roll out the mixed - up - together ingredients , then cut them up into long pieces , and bake them in the oven ! I think that was an immediate success . You 'll never guess what the final name for those baked strips was ! CEMENT ! Well , the kids thought they were as hard and chompy as cement might be , so the name stuck . Better have a big , heavy rolling pin when you roll out the dough , as it has to be thin or it just won 't be crisp . Fortunately I can nab Dale when I make it , because he has big strong arms and can lift the rolling pin and run it back and forth to get the dough in good shape before I cut the strips . I almost forgot to tell you that our rolling pin was made for us by one of our neighbors ; it weighs about 10 pounds ! [ Zwiebak in the oven ] After I lay out the bread , about a dozen to each cookie tin , I turn on the oven about 200 - 250 degrees , and let the bread dry out and turn light brown on one side , then do the same for the other side . When it is nicely browned , out it comes to be placed on a tray until it cools ; then it is put into a big popcorn or other tin with a big plastic bag inside just waiting for it . You will find , of course , that the zwieback will always be crispy and good . - CHRIS Thoughts on Food - First Course Posted on April 6 , 2017 by fairchris April 6 - So what comes to mind when you hear the word , " food ? " Do you think of good things to eat ? How to grow your own ? How to make sure that you have a balanced diet ? How to get your kids , if you have any , to eat so that everyone at the table enjoys the repast ? Or are you satisfied that you have done your best , and those around the table had better " dig in " and appreciate your hard work getting that food ready ? Maybe a few family members are going to complain in words like these : We had this for supper yesterday ! Who wants to eat leftovers ? I sure wish we weren 't having broccoli again ! I don 't like it ! I 'll bet Dad doesn 't like this zucchini either , but he has to eat it so he can " be a good example . " Why did you give her a bigger piece of cake than this one that you gave me ? Hopefully , this kind of conversation doesn 't take place at your dinner table ! There 's only one time in my childhood that I took part in complaining about Mom 's cooking , but I have never forgotten the incident . My mother was one of the hardest working women in the world . Since she had seven kids and nothing at all in the way of modern appliances , she had to make a choice between jobs , especially on wash days , and more so during the winter . While we were in school , she would scrub the clothes by hand on the washboard . This was after the boys had carried up to the house , a bucketful of water in each hand the night before and filled the big copper boiler so that she could heat it on the stove before beginning the washing . That was a long journey down to the creek , in summer and winter . When we got home from school , we found the same criss - cross pattern of clothesline from one side of the room to the other in the living room and kitchen , with the clothes still only partially dry . Knowing what time Pa would arrive , Mom asked some of the older kids to set the table with big bowls ready for the beans and plates for the huge baking powder biscuits , if Ma had found time to bake them on this busy day . As we were seated around the table , all nine of us , the big boys would begin to eat right off the bat , but I started swirling my spoon around in my bowl . Not really happy about beans again , I asked , " Do we have to eat beans again ? Can 't we have something else ? " Just about then , even the boys stopped eating and listened , their spoons held in mid - air , wondering what Pa would say ! He really didn 't say much ; I guess that 's why I can still remember those words , after more than eighty years have passed . " Well , Sis , if you don 't want beans , you don 't have to eat them . Leave the table and get ready for bed ! " That truly was the last time I complained about food and even learned to eat some of the things I really didn 't enjoy . |
I no longer hate Barbados , but I do hate what they did to me at the Embassy . How could they have not known ? ? ? Oh , I didn 't get it if I hadn 't aready said that . They said that I stayed in the US two years longer than I should have . Got to go . . another timed computer and I have no more money . . See ya . Quick , quick note . I 'm still here . No green card . I stayed in the US too long . I was in the US 2 years after turning 18 . Which I shouldn 't have done , which no one told us at the time . So I have to wait until Sep 2007 before I can apply for my green card . So my case is on hold and when I come back I have bring my old passpost with me to show when I was in the US . Got to go , clock ticking on this Mall internet thing . See ya on the weekend . Oh , tryed to get out a day early since I was so bumed , but no can do . Suck here until Friday . = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = http : / / jhoye . blogspot . com - There I share my life . - There I have links to what use to be my life . - There you can find out what I might want out of life . __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo ! ? Tired of spam ? Yahoo ! Mail has the best spam protection around http : / / mail . yahoo . com by Ok . . I know that I would have been a wreck if I had gotten to Barbados today , and I 'm kinda glad that I stayed the day to get a few things fixed and sorted . Now I don 't feel like I 'm being thrown into a hole with wishes of landing well . I have a flight booked for tomorrow at 2 or so . I have to be there like 11 : 30am or something for booking and getting my bags checked . I got copies made of somethings . I got three shots here for $ 10 EC each when it would have cost me $ 15 or $ 25 US each for them down there . I 've gotten to walk around town with Jhodie and Nika and Jhodie was able to get her shots too and got Nika 's birth paper . I we had to talk to a public DA about being able to take Nika to the US and that the father was now saying that she can 't go and won 't sign papers to let her go , when all the time up until now he knew she was going to the US and was fine by it . I 'm going to go fill out some more paper work . Get my hair greased and combed since I 'll be wearing my wig there as far as I know . I just looked up the cheapest places I could find on line after I realized it was getting late . We got back around 3 : 30 or so . We were talking with Little Ray about getting a C & W phone so I could talk to Jhodie without spending $ 10 for every 10 mins of phone time . He wanted my phone . My nice Nokia Digi phone . The first phone wasn 't enough for me to part with it . So he was able to get me a C & W phone , and a Digi phone that he didn 't want that was brand new , that he didn 't want , that someone got for him . I came with ear pieces and mic , and a radio soft cooler . I even liked the feel of the phone . So he got it for that . He really wanted a Nokia phone . Lucky me . The one he gave me has an FM tuner in it . I just have to get a $ 25 chip from C & W and my sister can call me on it , and we can talk until Jan for 1 cent for every min after 8 . I 'll use my Digi phone when I have to call a Digi phone . Believe it or not , a lot of people do that down here . First there was the divide Digi verses C & W then people got fed up with paying the prices betweby My sister is now freaking after my mother called to calm me down last night about being able to go and get everything done . Right now I haven 't gotten any money yet , and I 'll be packing my bags tomorrow . The price for the ticket keeps going up the closest I get to the date without buying a ticket . My sister is starting to look at other airlines to see if they will have a flight that goes there on Wednesday . The one we were looking at , got booked up while we were looking and waiting for the money . My sister got it in to her head that I could have the tests done here . I told her that it can 't be . I have to be there to get them done . I should have gotten my appointment letter weeks ago . Either which way . I got the time off . From This Wednesday , and I 'll be back at work on the 2nd of January . Then I have to make sure that I keep my job long enough to have my loan approved . In case you are wondering why I 'm talking like I won 't have my job much longer is because 1 , I 'm not processing as much orders as they would like , even if I have a good issue rate and something else . And two , Nandy . He was swearing at me again and calling me names . Lynn almost did something about it , but didn 't . I can 't take mental abuse . I 've had enough of it during the early years of my life , and I don 't want to end up crying in my bed again because of it like last night . Well , I have to go bed now . I was suppose to have some money in my account from Simeon , my cousin , but it wasn 't there in my account when I checked at 7 : 15 tonight . I 'm going to need some money for my ticket by tomorrow afternoon , and at this point I don 't know where it 's coming from . Well see ya . I started to leave and started on a rant . . . not this time . bye . Clear Harbor had a Christmas dinner last night , and I was very early . Me along with the boss were there for over an hour by our selfs . Well I was by myself , and she was hanging out with the people who worked there . They are all friends it seems . The table I choose ended up mostly being Career Builders mostly . But we were ok , and I was able to get some answers to some questions . The over all dress for the night was mixed . Some girls came all dressed to the Nine . Some were a bit less shiny like me , and others came in jeans , but not many . Four or so . All the guys were a let down , but then when and why would a guy down here get a black suit ? The head of the company showed up in light attire also . He 's excuse was that his suitcase was in San Juan . Along with some of the gifts he got for some of the winners . We had winners for employee of the year and a few other titles . They got nice little gifts . The owner of the company made things sound different from how the lady that run the place made it seem . He thanked us for our hard work to help us prove that his idea was a good one , and we had nice dinner , and some people stayed to dance when it was over . I had shows to watch and everything already started late for me , so I got a lift home . We expected to find Lynn here , the girls wanted to see her , but she had already left . She said that she was going to come by for the bracelet because she wanted to wear it out that night , but she didn 't came . I only ended up seeing one of the two shows I wanted to see . I tried tracking down the other one , but I can 't find it . I guess the ad on the tv was just to make you feel bad that you couldn 't see it . Or I got the date mixed up , or we didn 't have the right pbs channel for it . I helped with making lunch / dinner today . Yesterday I went to make lunch , and I thought about making enough for at least me , Lynn and Xhaion but she didn 't have enough rice . It was more or less cabbage rice , that had stir fried carrots , onions and alot of garlic and then mixed it all together . It was really garlic liby Hi ya . I had it in my head to get a few things down tonight , but it 's no longer tonight . Lynn just left and I should get some sleep since I 'm working off of like 5 hours sleep . Some kid spent the night , and had the tv on over my head with the light when I told him that I was coming out to sleep . And then of course Nandy did what he could to make sure I couldn 't fall asleep anytime soon . My job thinks that I have two issues . One I 'm on probation isn 't up yet , so I can 't have vacation time , and I need to process some more orders . If I don 't up the amount I do they will let me go . But I when brought up that we weren 't getting that much , I was told that while everyone else but one person has processed over 100 orders I 've come in in the 50 's . That one other person was up in the 80 's . The boss lady do didn 't like the idea that I had to be gone for so long said that I may be spending too much time confirming my orders and getting my details right . More or less and that they will have to find a way for me to help me speed up how I process orders so I can get more done . I 'm not that happy about it , they rather I do more then get them right ? But I sat in that same chair a few months ago saying that I should be able to process the amount of orders I needed to for my quota . Of course I said this with out knowing what went into processing an order , and I was interested in another job when I was having that interview . Today I realized that I 'm a problem fixer . I 'll take as long as it takes , but I will fix the problem . They rather have someone just list all the problems as fast as possible rather then fix all of them . But I did get my time off from work . I 'm going over on Tuesday night . I get on a plane Wednesday morning , and early afternoon I land in Barbados . I then look for a place to stay and I then book an appointment for my tests . Then I go in the next day hopefully , get my tests done , then wait for them , then go to embassy on Wednesday , then go though all that , then hopefully all goes well and I 'll be leaving for home FrJhoy E . Meade I just told a good friend of mind that in 3 weeks if all goes well , I 'll be holding and looking at a green card with my name on it . My mother has received notice that we will be called to the US embassy in mid December to get our green cards . So now we are trying to get a whole bunch of stuff done . I 'm trying to get a loan to cover just about everything and even pay off some of my bills while I 'm at it . One of the things that I was banking on before I was fired what that I had a job attached to me that I had been at for 8 years , and planed on keeping as I moved to the US to assure them that I was going to be able to pay them back . Now I have a job letter saying that I 've been employed since late August . Oh , I must apologize for how I may sound today . Two days of living off an English mini seres and I 'm back to sounding like I 'm from England . I woke up this morning telling myself don 't talk because even my thoughts were still back in when ever Pride and Prejudice was written and meant for . I thought that I should have applied for a loan back when I was still at Ross just because I knew that I was going to need the money . But at the time I didn 't have any calateral for such a loan . This loan that I am getting is a Christmas thing that you don 't need to put up something for the money . Like a house or car or something close to the value of the money that you wanted from them . You can use the money for any reason up to up $ 15 , 000 . I asked for $ 12 , 000 , thinking that the stay in the island along with the plane fare and tests would be rather high . My sister got a much more calming estimate of what the whole thing might cost per person . Today I had to go get my passport pictures taken . Yuck ! . . But then who likes their 's . Well I was just trying to find out how much the tests are going to cost for when we got there , but I can 't find details . Oh well , I should have enough to cover them all the same . If this all happens , it will happen between Christmas and new years . A week after the Christmas party for work that I 've decided to by Ya , another long spell of no blogging . I think you more or less know why . As for why I didn 't blog when I 'm in St . Kitts , I just didn 't feel like it . I was just happy to be home and to sleep in a place I liked and missed . Also , after some catching up and doing some kind of shopping , it 's time to get ready to go back over , wash some cloths , get Nika her news story and help write it , wash her hair and my own , then help Jhodie make dinner , then eat , then finish packing to make sure I have just about everything if not everything , then get my hair done after Nika , then go to bed to wake up in time to maybe eat something then catch a bus down to the boat in time . That thing that bit me last week Tuesday is still bugging me . Did I tell you about it ? In case I didn 't , I was standing waiting for a bus Tuesday morning over in New Castle , and when I sat down in the bus that finally showed up , I felt something bitting me . I look down to see this moth type thing that has dug into my skin and staying there . I knocked it off , and just scratched my hand . That sounds like the start of something bad doesn 't it . Well I wasn 't too worried since one bit me before , and I was fine , but this one seems to be lasting longer . It could be that I 'm just more stressed , and starting to hate it over there even if I don 't see Nandy any more . Nandy was the guy I got into a fight with that weekend I stayed over and was trying to clean . It seems that he now sleeps somewhere else . I thought that he just left , but Lynn made it sound like he still came by after I left , which I can believe since I have to be out of the house by 8 : 30 at the latest . One day last week I got to work one min past 10 . All thinks to Xhavion . I had to help him with homework that his mother doesn 't make sure he does , but leaves for me to make sure he does before getting him off to school , since I have to be at work later than her . If the boy even tried to do what he had to do , never mind told , I wouldn 't have been late to work . He waisted over 30 mins of my time with something he coby WILD RICE WITH ROASTED PEPPERS AND TOASTED ALMONDSGourmetCAULIFLOWER WITH MUSTARD - LEMON BUTTERBon AppétitBRUSSELS SPROUTS WITH SHALLOTS AND WILD MUSHROOMSGourmetHONEY - GLAZED OVEN - ROASTED SWEET POTATO WEDGESBon AppétitKASHA WITH BROWNED ONIONS AND WALNUTSGourmetplus : SEE ALL NEW RECIPES Something nice if you are making yourself something or want to impress someone else and you still have time to shop and cook . : ) I got the day off , and I 've cleaned a bit , did a little computer cleaning of the laptop Lynn has someone gotten her hands on since the computer monitor blew last week . And I had an hour or so nap . This morning was a fight to get Xhavaion dressed and out of the house . It was more like getting him out of the shower , eat breakfast , get underware , pack the right bag for school and get dressed and out of the house . People who want to be parents should be given a day with the other people 's kids so they can start to get an idea of what goes into taking care of kids . They don 't just show up all clean and well behaved like the ones they like so much . Mix it up so they have a real clue . 12 - 16 years old one day , a 5 month old for another day , a 2 year old the next , and then end it off with a 7 year old . Then let 's see what they think about it . If they still want to go though with it , they will now have a plan and get a few things nailed down . I thought about going to the beach today when I found out that work wasn 't having it 's Thanksgiving lunchen after all . But you know me , I 'm not a beach person . Besides , the day isn 't long enough for me to talk myself into going to the beach and actually making it there . Well my time is just about up . It 's 3 : 39 , and I think that Lynn gets off work at 4pm , and she 'll be here about 20 mins after that I think . On a parting note , reflexive arcade has a few new games , and they picked up another Zuma clone , and there are a few more cards games now . Every since " Aloha Solitare " , they have been a ton more with their own take on it . Talk about copy cats , but some are intresting , as loby Other than spending too much for my breakfast / lunch and owning him 75 cents because I ran out of money . There 's nothing much to talk about . I went to the bank to get money , and the ATM didn 't have 20 's so I had to go inside . Before coming to Nevis , I hadn 't seen the inside of a bank this much in years . The rest of the day was normal . No break downs , just a delay in getting to new orders because of all the call backs we had to make . I did a good amount of orders , and I even got some supplies for the group . I caught the bus down to town from work . I made sure I was ready on time since my ride is off for the week . I had to wait 30 mins for a bus to come by to take me to New Castle . I think that there are less bus now going that way then when I started working here . Maybe the sun setting earlier had something to with it . The moon looked nice tonight . It was a full moon and we have great views of it most of the ride home . The bus I caught went through a few villages that were up in the hills to get me home . I 'm happy he only took $ 3 . 50 from me . At one point before he turned off the main road , I was starting to think that he was going to leave me down on the main road to walk it up here in the dark . And I do mean the dark . They don 't believe in street lights much it seems . Half the place is in the dark and that includes the main roads . At least I came home to dinner . Odd , but editable . She wanted me to bring the veggie beans over , but I forgot about them . I 'll bring them next week with maybe something else . I also forgot to bring over some tea bush for Karen . I have to bring some of that over for her too . I hope she forgets to ask me about it for a while . One of the guys in our department seems to be out sick for the week . He 's already missed out like most of last week . I have a feeling that we will be pulling over time , but I don 't know if I can get to stay for any since my ride is off keeping his lady friend company and nothing comes over here that late . Well that 's it . I 've think that I 've gotten as much time as I can ovby Mostly , it 's just a link today . I watched this show on Thursday I 'm pretty sure . It 's called . . . . . something . . . http : / / www . babblog . com / Aug _ 04 / 080904 _ M _ TV . htm but here is a link to the first page I 've found on it . The channel that aired the show , had nothing , and I mean nothing to tell you about it . Well , other than what time it came on , and at this point I 'm surprised it was there at all . Now it 's kinda gross , just be happy that you are just reading it and not watching the show . Friday I got paid , but like I said before , it feels kinda odd being paid on a non 15th or 30th day of the month . But at least I 'm in SK . ( st . kitts ) . The crossing could have been a bit better . I got to town during a down pour , and had to make my way to the boat carrying alot of things and trying not to get at the same time . That just about never works . I kinda saved my skirt , but my shoes were thinking of defecting to become water - soluble . So I took them off when I was on the boat which turned out to be a bad idea since the air con was on and was set for 77 Degrees . They were ice cold when I put them back on . Also some students decided to head over to SK and they were just loud and couldn 't read . In that last part I meant that they paid for a B class ticket . A nice big B is printed on it , and they walked right in the sectioned off A class section . I felt like saying something , but two things stopped me . One , they wouldn 't think that I was something worth listening too , and two , they might have paid for A class ticket . Something else caught my attention when I when they were filing past me . This one guy . He was rail thing and looked healthy . I mean I looked up and there was an elbow joint in fort of my face like 12 inches away , and it was covered with healthy looking skin and hair . I then looked down to see how bony his legs where . They were just as thin . A walking skeleton . Wow . They were horsing around and play hitting each other in a very odd way . I 'm not a fan of pretending to hit anyone . And it wasn 't a little slap on shoulder . But full onby I just saw that the last two blogs were in the wrong order . I haven 't a clue how that happened . I knew that I blogged at least once last week . Yes the time stamp is rather early for this one . It should say Nov 5th at 3 : 16 am . I got up to use the bathroom and stopped by the computer to see how a download was doing . It 's not doing as well as I expected . I expected a must faster download spead , but I 'll be happy if it 's done by tonight around 7pm . Well the rest of the week didn 't go as well as Tuesday . On Wed , and Thursday , the systems / vpn was down . The first day we lost half the day and the next day we were only an our so up sooner . That recked how many I could done , and I tired to do my call backs the first day just to be told that I wasn 't suppose to do them because were backed up . Well sorrrryyy . You should have told me sooner . Like when you got there , not 5 hours later after I cut my lunch hour in half so I could get a few exrea done to help out , as slow as I am . Hum ! The next day I didn 't do any call backs until the end of the day , and lucky me I was only blessed with have to make 3 calls for that day . Which gave me some time to try and get some of the 12 from the day before . Thrusday I had a whole bunch to do , then I don 't have that much on Friday or at least I got most of the cust the first time I called . There is more , but I don 't think I can say any of that . At least I 've been to work early since I saw Lynn in the hospital , that maybe why Ron hasn 't talked me about it . I 'm hopping that if I keep this up , it may go way after one little talk say that even though I was late that day , I haven 't been on time the rest of my monitored period , they won 't fire me or give me another warning . I hope that 's how it goes . As for back at the house , Lynn thinks that I can read her mind . She wanted bread , didn 't call me to tell me to buy any , then is upset that I didn 't get wheat bread when I thought of getting bread all on my own . Then when I pointed this out and stated that the last time I got bread and said that it was wheat , by Well I didn 't get a costume like some of the girls did at work . I 'm pretty sure that the few " boys " who are there didn 't dress up beyond the black shirt and jean dress code that we were given for the day . Hema borrowed her sister 's nurse outfit , and one of the supervisors dressed up like a local sergeant . Everyone seemed to have liked my wig after they got over the shock of seeing me in it . It 's amazing what some people laugh at . I guess its how most people deal with pleasant moments of shock down here . Just about every one in my section I think was able to get their hands in my hair . One girl , who has naturally long hair , said that I now looked girly . Gee , I need long hair to be labeled a girl it seems like . I was so happy to take that wig off . It was hot under there and I need a brush to keep it looking good and I forgot to pack the one I got for it . When I was leaving , I was asked how come I took it off . I said that it was just for the day , and the day for me was all at work . I also said that I may wear it next week . At the time it was completely possible . Now , not so possible . I already told them inside that it was just for today . Yesterday was an ok day besides the fact that our phones weren 't really working for the whole work day . Oh , and to top off yesterday , I didn 't get to see " Heroes " . The channel was out . : ( I 'm going to send my sister an e - mail and ask her to tape it for me on Friday . It re - runs when I 'm the boat going over , and it seems like she will be flipping for my boat ride this weekend coming . Tomorrow is Wednesday and it 's the first time I 'll be going to the bank for the week . The later in the week I go to the bank the less I spend , or so it 's been until tomorrow I 'm sure . I haven 't bought anything for lunch for the week . I don 't even know what I had for lunch on Monday . I think that I got a noodle from the store , but I don 't remember . Today we had a free lunch , so I got all that I could , and I even carried my bowl thing incase I could get left overs . I didn 't want left overs if there was any . Oneby Well I just got the computer completely cleaned . It seems a bit faster , and the Trojan is now gone alone with the other little bits that it found . It took me like 3 programs and about 12 hours from the time that I turned it on Friday night until this morning when I got the last of it out . I went though like 3 programs and after installing them and letting them run for about 2 hours each just to find out that I couldn 't clean anything until you bought it , and on the site that told you get it for the program said that you could use it for a time and clean your system with it . So just to keep them at their word , I got a cracked version of one of the program so that I could clean my system and then the second program that was needed to make sure that the Trojan / virus was off my system . Now my time over here is almost over , and it looks like I 'm looking at another 2 week stint in Nevis . If Lynn stays in Nevis this weekend I might go to beach . I don 't know yet . If she is going this weekend , then I get the room and I 'll just sleep and clean again . Well , I wasn 't given a talk about the one late day I had after I was told about my lateness . I hope it stays ok , and that I get to keep showing up early for the rest of my monitored time . I have my clinic appointment next week on the 7th . I 'm having my sister talk to the nurse at the clinic here to send a copy of my file over there . I have to get there early like 8 : 30 so I can still make it to work on time / early . I 'm going to be so tired that day . It did fell odd being back over here this weekend . I miss home . Ya , I 'm calling St . Kitts home . . but mostly this house with Jhodie and Nika . A piece of mail come for me , and I can 't pick it up , so I wrote a letter for her to give them at the post office so they could give it to her . I wonder if I have sign the slip that they sent ? The told my sister that I just have to sign a note and that should be it , and I hope that , that is it . Because I most likely won 't be back here for 2 weeks unless my sister has an extra $ 4o by Friday for me to by Up and down . Up and down . That is what the last two days have been for me . Tuesday I went to give Lynn her stuff , and the bus driver stole $ 5 from me for the lift up the street . I got there about 12 past 9 , and I left almost at half past , and I then had to walk back down the long road back to the main street where I could catch a bus to work . But get this , not one bus that was going to Brown Hill came by . I was standing there waiting for a bus from about 20 till and I had to take one that dropped me off at the mouth of Brown Hill and that left me having to walk it up at 9 : 54 if not 9 : 56 . I don 't remember anymore , and it doesn 't really matter . The out come was the same . I got to work late . I punched in at 10 past . The downer from the day before was very pale compared to how I felt for the rest of this day . At the time I thought that I had a good reason for being late since I tried to flag down a bus that I believed went to brown hill and it didn 't stop for me back at 9 : 35 . Today I tried to catch the same bus but before he couldn 't tell me if he went brown hill or not , he just pointed back to the bus that was just behind him saying that , that was the brown hill bus . I guess that still answered my question . It doesn 't go to Brown Hill . But I still believe that I saw it up there a few times . Well , I felt so bad , that I thought that if I talked with the director of the place , I might be able to get her to understand and not have this lateness counted against me . I was going to say how I went to see my cousin in the hospital and that I couldn 't see her before 9 and that I only spent 15 mins there and then there was the bus that I believed went to Brown Hill that didn 't stop for me and that I had to walk it up from the main road . I went and asked her on my lunch brake if I could talk to her , she said that she had to check her appointment book to if she was free , and then she said that I had to go through my manager first , I told her that I already talked to him and that I think that I had to talk to her . After lunch I wasby I almost had a good day today , and it would have been fine if Lynn 's mother didn 't show up ranting and raving . They heard her clear across the street I found out tonight . It bummed me out for my whole day . Which wasn 't a normal day for me either . First , I got a ride into town by a nice guy . White I might add . Only one other person has given my a ride too or from work that I didn 't know existed before that moment in time . It 's a shame he was looking for a girl friend . Granted I could wrong , but I wouldn 't put much past men that stop talking to me when I say that never what to have kids . Maybe he wasn 't looking for a girl friend , maybe he thought he could settle down with me and that is why he stopped talking when I killed the notion if kids in my future . Currently I 'm watching " Heroes " and I just read an e - mail from my friend Kelly . I miss talking to him . . . be back in 15 to finish this . . . . " Heroes " is just about finished . As I was saying . . . . I got to town in good time to go to Best Buy and get one soup for each day this week for lunch thanks to the guy giving me a ride in to town . Then I took a bus up the bakery to get something to eat for lunch . The ride cost me $ 2 and the meal which was a dry bread and a fried egg was $ 2 . 50 then to top off my day , I walked a mile to work , if not more . I was just about there when another guy gave me lift for the last hill that I was dreading , but it came with a prayer , which I took . I even thanked God myself for the lift . HA ! . . Just saw the ending of " Heroes " . . . sorry I started writing again when they were on break , and now I 'm watching CSI : Miami . Back to my day , then I 'll jump into " Heroes " . So I got to work about 9 : 50 thanks to the lift . I reached the start of Brown Hill at 9 : 30 . I couldn 't have made as good a time as I wanted to because of the first part of the walk . The whole walk was up hill ( s ) . I kinda think that I got the lifts that I did , because of my black and purple shirt that I wore with my long back skirt . If it wasn 't for my hair , you might have thought that by It 's Sunday night , and I hurt my back washing the youngest 's school clothes . The oldest just wouldn 't wash them . He knows how to use the washing machine , and we asked to do it since what ? . . . 11am if not earlier ? When he came to ask me for the detergent , I told him I hadn 't seen any , but the thing I brought to clean the floors can be used for washing clothes and I told him where it was . I went to lay down for a bit and fell asleep . I woke up to see if he had finished , and everyone was gone . He had gotten the youngest from the grandmother 's house before I took my nap , and the guy was here . But when I woke up like 30 mins later the house was empty , and the clothes were just sitting in the washing machine in water . He didn 't come back for like 3 or so hours . I asked him where he went . He went to play he said . I told him to do go wash the clothes again . Then I went back in the room because he was hanging out with the guy , and I was keeping my distance . I came back out in like an hour . I didn 't hear the washer going , I asked him again . He had made something to eat and it looked like he just came out of the shower . I went to look at the washing machine and the clothes were still there , but no water . He didn 't clearly tell me what he was doing and he didn 't care what happened to the blue short pants that I placed on the washer when he was out playing . I said under my breath that it wasn 't that he didn 't know , it was that he didn 't care . So I dug through the wet mess and pulled out a shirt and pair of short paints for the youngest . I was really starting to believe that he wasn 't going to wash any of them and I had to at least get a set for the youngest boy clean and dry . I also washed three things for myself . My black bra , my new white skirt and shirt cut on the bis that I thought needed to be rinsed out . Now my back hurts . I combed out my hair , but I didn 't wash it . I doesn 't smell that bad , and there is no grease in this house and I need to grease my hair after washing it . But I got it up in two , so I 'm keeping it as itby Well it 's Sunday . I woke up a few hours ago , and I was just jumping around from tv channel to tv channel looking for something to watch . But it 's Sunday , I shouldn 't expect much . Last night after I turned off the computer and was settling to sleep we lost power . It went out slowly . First the fan started to slow down , the tv stayed on . Blinked once or twice after the fan had stopped , then it went out , and I was left in the dark . I thought that was why the internet went down on me when I was trying to get a torrent file . I tried it again today . It took the internet down . So I uninstalled it . I 'll just have to give up on downloading anything by torrent then on this computerLynn called me . I heard my phone go off and I thought that Jhodie was calling me early . But it turned out to be Lynn . She wanted me to put together her pj 's and some tank tops for someone to pick up for her . I 'm starting to think that she won 't be back on Monday . Am I suppose to look after her kids ? They don 't pay any attention to me . The first few weeks they kinda did , but now the youngest just turns into a rock and doesn 't move when I tell stuff or try to help him with something and then he does what he wants . The older one is just doing what he is doing . I won 't be able to help either one of them like this . As for food , my diet just got worst . I 'm thinking of adding some noodles to soup I made last night so I can have something decent for lunch . Breakfast was two soft oatmeal cookies with dates . The youngest is still at his grand mothers , and the other two came back and once again slept in the living room and with the tv on for the whole night . Before the guy came back I told Marcus to go sleep in his bed and turned off the tv . He said ok , but didn 't move . Then he came back after the black out which was at 11 : 30 , and he turned back on the tv and turned it all the way back up again like he 's loosing his hearing . I woke up at 2 : 40am to use the bathroom and walked into a wall of sound the bathroom wall and door couldn 't protect me from . I wasn 't goingby Long story short , I stood up for myself against the guy that lives here , who I might add is 9 years younger than me , and he almost assaulted me . He removed my hand from something with a knife , and told me he was going to hit me . He said that he didn 't F ___ ing like me and didn 't have to do anything I said that I should just leave and go back to St . Kitts . So before I left to get help to keep him from attacking me , we got into a verbal fight and I said that I was here to work unlike himself . And that he had no manners , which is how this all started , and he just swore at me and I said that , that was as much as he could say . I then got dressed , walked across the street in the rain and called the neighbors . I told him how the guy almost hit me and had a knife . I was almost crying when I told him this . That really surprised me . He came over and told him to be a be better man than that and to behave and that Lynn left me here to look after the house and if I wanted to watch the tv when cleaning up , he didn 't need to come in here and start problems . Yes , that is how this whole thing started . I was watching tv , while cleaning when he came in the house . He stood in the door way , looked at me cleaning the table and walked over to the tv and changed the channel . I told him that I was watching that . I expected to have it tuned back in like a min after he made me squirm . Then when I told him again , that I was watching that and that he could go into the bed room and watch Lynn 's tv or use the computer he swore at me . Then after a while I told him that I was still waiting . He turned up the volume to the very end and changes the channel to a football match . I went over to turn it down and he started shouting at me not to touch him , then the argument and the knife thing and the calling of the neighbor and all that happened . It 's been about 5 or 6 hours now . I 've finished the cleaning that started in the kitchen . I didn 't go near the living room since he stayed in there trying to make sure I didn 't enjoy the movie that I wanted to waby Well it did rain again today , but not to the flooding degree that we had yesterday . Not that it stopped anyone from trying to plan for it . Some schools sent the children home . The sad part was that who told the parents ? One of the departments did so well today that they got a pizza lunch and got to go home early after they went over their target by a huge amount . Due to some paper I signed that is all I can say about that . I was just happy it didn 't rain on me today . Still short on money and shorter than I should be because my sister had to take $ 20 off of the bank . A girl from work asked me if I would be coming to town since I was staying in Nevis this weekend . I told her that I didn 't think I would have enough money for the bus fare . She then asked me if I was that broke . I told her yes . I might take myself down to the beach if I can 't stand it up here . Oh , I forgot to mention . The house is currently abandoned by everyone else who is suppose to be here . Lynn is in the hospital because of her asthma that has been complicated to a cold . The youngest boy is at his grand mother 's . The oldest is off somewhere , and the other guy , I don 't know nor do I care . I 'm happy I get to sleep in a bed tonight . I can 't say I will tomorrow . And I have access to the computer . This is the first time in 3 weeks that I 'm up to watch Dr . Who . YA ! * grin * So see ya . Take care And grab a new game for the weekend . : ) My suggestion . You would like this a bit more then other players if you have played the first one like I did . I 'm so not happy . I would have fumed last night if I was still shaking from seeing the word terminate in reference to my name earlier that day . I 've been calling in to work to let them know why I was late when I 've been standing in the sun for over 30 mins waiting for a bus . When it was my fault that I was late I wouldn 't call and just take heat for it . But it turns out that all that calling in didn 't help me in the least . They still called me on it and said that I signed a contract to be here on time . So now I have to get up and hour earlier , when I 'm not getting as much sleep as I need as it is , to get a bus ( es ) to get to me work early . I can 't aim for on time . They sited me for being 5 mins late even though my watch ( phone ) told me that I was only 3 mins late , but that is besides the point . So I got up earlier , left an hour earlier , got to work an hour early just in time to beat the down pour that covered both islands today for most of the day . So much so that we got let out an hour early , which didn 't help me that much . I got a lift half way down to town . I got dropped off at the bakery which turned out to be close . I got a message from Lynn asking me to ask the guy that gives me ride home at night , to please buy her some bread and a can of milk . I bought them with $ 5 that I had on me , and the $ 3 and change I got him I got a hot bread and butter for him and one for me for us to eat on the ride over . And I gave him back a dollar and change . I think I 'm going to get some bread from there to take with me over to ST . Kitts when i get to go back . Speaking of St . Kitts , I just found out from my sister that Marcus , Lynn 's oldest is being sent to live with Jhodie to help straighten him out . ? ? ? that is still odd to me . As you may understand , he doesn 't pay her any real attention when she 's talking to him , but sending him over there isn 't going to help him pay her any attention . She screams at him just about every time she opens her mouth in his direction . Unless she changes , he won 't change towards her . Well it 's 9pm now , by I bought stuff for the house . Not the house I love , but the house I have to live in to work . I got food stuff and other little things . As always I need more stuff than I have money for . I have to go give Horsford at least $ 180 tomorrow before work . They called the house here and left a message for me to come and see them . I know they want to know what gives with me not paying them anything the last time I got paid , but I lost my shoes and that ate my money along with some other things . But I should be able to get them some money next time I get paid and I am paying them this week if not monday . I say if not monday , because the bank 's atm isn 't working that well and I don 't know if they will be working in Nevis when I get there . Since Nevis ' went odd on me last week . As far as I can tell all the atms for my bank weren 't working today . I tried two , three really , and a lady drove up to me when I came out of one and asked if this one was working . She made it sound like she tried others too and they weren 't working either . Well I 'm wearing one of my new skirts over that came down from NY . My family up there sent down a barrel with stuff in it for us and Uncle ray and family and may be some other people . I haven 't been there to see or anything , but Jhodie brought over some stuff for us . I got a top , a few skirts . Nika got some shoes , and Jhodie got some more stuff . Stuff that was ment for me , but where a bit smaller than I am . I 'm going to wear a white skirt and my red top . I just hope it doesn 't get dirty before I get to work . I hate wearing white , they seem to get so dirty so easly on me . Other than that , nothing much . I told you about Firday and Saturday morning . Saturday afternoon we got out to town , and got a few things . Some food stuff , and I rebought a spoon a fork thinking that the last set I got are long gone even though I know I left them in Lynn 's room . We tried to get some PJs for Nika , but we didn 't end up getting any after all . I 'm going to half hold my breath to see if she makes dumpplings with the flour thaby Change all the answers so that they apply to you then send this to a whole bunch of people you know * including * the person who sent it toyou ! ! Put your name in the subject . The theory is that you will learn a lot of littleknown facts about your friends . It is fun and easy 51 questions to answer . 1 . FIRST NAME ? Jhoy2 . WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ? Nope , I was just the first grand daughter that my father 's mother saw , and my mom added the h . 3 . WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY ? 5 months ago . 4 . DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING ? It 's not as good as it use it use to be . 5 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT ? Turkey . 6 . KIDS ? Heck no . 7 . IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU ? Don 't know , most likly not . 8 . DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL ? Yes On line . 9 . DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT ? Yes . 10 . DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS ? Yes . 11 . WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP ? No ! 12 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL ? Honey Bunches Of Oats . 13 . DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF ? Yes . 14 . DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG ? Not as strong as I used to be . 15 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR ? Vanilla . 16 . SHOE SIZE ? 10 1 / 2 wide width . Ya , I have big feet . 17 . RED OR PINK ? Red . 18 . WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF ? Besides my weight ? My bad memory . 19 . WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST ? Besides G ? . . . Right now Jhodie and Nika when I 'm in Nevis . A year back it was my mom . 20 . DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU ? That would be nice , but I don 't expect it . I 'll settle for 3 people . 21 . WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING ? Shoes ? Pants ? No . 22 . LAST THING YOU ATE ? Oatmeal cookie with dates . 23 . WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW ? CSI : Miami24 . IF YOU WERE A CRAYON , WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE ? I 'm sticking with red . 25 . FAVORITE SMELLS ? Fresh baked bread , and honey suckle . 26 . WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE ? My ride to lynn 's house after work . I was calling him back because I missed his call and needed to add money to my cell phone . 27 . THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO ? The shape of their face . 28 . DO YOU LIKEby I have to say sorry for one if not two things . The first one being about Sermel , the girl that I started to work at Clear Harbor with . I once said that I didn 't really think that she did any work , but lately we were presented with awards . More like had them , but either way , I found out that she got one for processing the most orders for the month of September . So that kicks the idea that she doesn 't do her work , but she still out rightly sleeps during work hours . But in her defense , AT & T West doesn 't have as many orders we SouthWest does since we are doing more then one state . On the award side of this story , I got two for September . One for having an 80 % issue rate . They use a different word on the award . It just means that 80 % of all the orders I did , were done right and produced a sale for allconnet and AT & T . I hope I can keep it up since I don 't really know how I did it . I just did what I was suppose to do . The next award I got was for being present and on time for the whole month . I seems that once you call in and let them know that you are late , it doesn 't count against you . I only call when it 's not my fault I was running late . Like the time I waited for 40 mins for a bus to get me from New Castle to town . The other thing that I may have to apologize for , but mostly just clear up was that thing I said about Lynn making her kid use bath soap to wash the dishes . It wasn 't bath soap , it was clothes watching power . That is a bit better , when we were growing we use to use the blue soap that we used to wash our clothes with to wash the dishes . I 'm not even sure if we really had " dish liquid " back then . Lets see , yesterday was Friday the 13th . And for the number of things that could go wrong , most of them didn 't . One I got to work on time . Slightly early even . We got paid , but mine came with a flaw that I didn 't know that turned my rather up beat day into a more less happy one . I worked for 2 hours over time . If anything I expected it to plug the hole left behind by the taxes and such they had to take out . But I didnby |
Before I left each house , I piled the salvaged goods near the entryways so they would be easy to retrieve once I chose a new home . I made little marks on the outside of the doors with silver nail polish so that when I returned , I would know which places had been cleared . These marks always went in the same place on every door , and they were subtle enough that they wouldn 't be easy to detect , assuming anybody else was even alive to see them . Paint would have been too obvious , and I had tried magic markers , but they just didn 't show up well on some of the doors . The nail polish worked perfectly on everything so I stuck with that . I had plenty of it , and I no longer had any use for it . I returned to the car , and it started right away which was fortunate since I wasn 't parked on a hill . It was still early in the day , so I decided to check out some other parts of town , driving around for almost half an hour before I finally hit pay dirt . It was a newer part of Whispering Springs , and it wasn 't even on the map , though Patrick and I had driven through once before to look at the new houses . There was a street that circled the town 's only golf course , and there were also a few cul - de - sacs that ran off of it . The one that caught my attention had a park in the center of the loop , which must have covered at least an acre of land . There was playground equipment as well as a fountain and lots of dead grass , which could easily be converted into a nice , big garden . The whole cul - de - sac , park and all , would be safe to move around in if I were to close off the entrance with a couple of big trucks or buses . It was hard to believe that nobody had done it when the plague had first started , since it was the perfect place to make a stand . I drove around a few times , looking for movement inside the houses or anything to let me know that someone had gotten there first , but there was nothing . My problem was going to be finding large vehicles and getting them moved . It wasn 't likely I 'd be able to roll a bus down a hill and pop the clutch . I remembered seeing an RV farther down the street , and I wondered if I could jump start it with my car . It was one of those big square - looking rigs and it seemed perfect for what I had in mind . It wouldn 't span the whole distance between the two walls , but maybe I could find a second one to finish the job . It didn 't take long to discover that the back bedroom held something terrible . The thing started banging on the door , and it never stopped the whole time I was there . Fortunately , the rest of the house was zombie - free . Once my preliminary search was over , a trip to the kitchen netted me all kinds of goodies . I found crackers , pasta , canned goods , and several cans of soda . I chewed on some crackers while opening a warm grape soda . It had been so long since I 'd had a soft drink that I was really looking forward to it . Maybe my taste buds had changed , but it was a big disappointment . I filled some cloth grocery bags with food and put them by the front door . Taking a moment to check the garage , I found a beat - up truck that I didn 't quite trust , so I left it alone . There were a few cardboard boxes in a corner , so I brought them in to load up more of the food . It took a few trips to get everything into the car , but I was pleased to see that the street was still clear by the time I was done . I went to check out a few other homes in the neighborhood , killing five zombies in all . One house had a bunch of tools as well as a pistol and a shotgun , both with ammo . That made my day . I 'd recently learned the basics of shooting from a man named Dan Hixson , though I still knew almost nothing about guns . I could tell a shotgun from a rifle , and I had been introduced to both a revolver and a pistol . I even knew what a magazine was . Training time had been limited , and my instructor had mainly concerned himself with making sure I knew how to plant a hole in the head of a zombie . He 'd planned to teach me more , but there hadn 't been time . He and his friend had been forced to leave town suddenly , just before everything had gone to hell here . I haven 't heard from Dan and George since then . They were both really great guys , and I hope they 're still alive . I 'm sure I wouldn 't even be here right now if it hadn 't been for them . I spent a couple minutes searching for a key underneath the car , which is a scary thing to do when horrible dead things could be sneaking up behind you . I had no luck finding anything , and the doors were locked . A quick glance at the house had me wondering if it was occupied . Looking back at the street to gauge my time , I knew that my options were limited . I hurried up to the front door and rang the doorbell , glad when nobody answered it . My buddy the crowbar helped me to get the door open quickly , and we went inside . I decided that if I couldn 't find the car keys right away , I 'd go through the back of the house and over the wall . The kitchen was my first stop , and I lucked out . Next to the refrigerator there was a whiteboard in a wooden frame . The bottom of the frame , which held an eraser and a blue marker , also had a build - in key rack hanging beneath it . I quickly scanned the keys , grabbing the set that looked like they belonged to the car . Back outside , I was dismayed to see that the crowd had moved much closer than they 'd been two minutes earlier . I unlocked the car and immediately tried to start it with the key . The battery was deader than a doornail , as my grandmother used to say . From both ends of the street , the dead were shuffling their way closer , but I knew that there was still time to get the car running , or so I hoped . I opened the driver 's door and turned the steering wheel downhill . Bracing my feet on the cement , I pushed the vehicle as hard as I could , rolling it very slowly out to the street . Once I was free of the driveway , I gave the car one more shove to keep it moving , and I jumped in , pulling the door closed . Some of the uphill zombies were within fifteen feet now , which was far too close for comfort . I was also rolling too slowly for my liking , and I knew that if I hit one of the downhill zombies the impact just might bring me to a stop . Fighting with the steering wheel , I weaved between the bodies , barely missing my old paper boy on the left and two men on the right . It was really hard to steer and I was certain that I was going to hit one of them , but before I knew it , I 'd passed most of the crowd and was picking up speed . I was almost at the bottom of the hill when I popped the clutch , yelling with joy when the engine sputtered a bit then started . I was getting pretty good at this , but there was never a guarantee that it was going to work . I had a grin on my face as I turned the corner and went up the next street . There was so little to be happy about these days , but avoiding a horrible , painful death always made me feel warm and fuzzy inside . As I made my way around the neighborhood , I finally got up the nerve to swing by my house . There were a few of the infected milling about , and my truck was obviously trapped behind the crushed garage door . The dead turned to follow me , and I soon collected a small parade of them . My list of needs included food , a better vehicle , and shelter , and I set out to see what I could do about it . Leaving my neighborhood , I drove across town , ditching the horde of zombies that had been following . My destination was one of the neighborhoods I 'd seen on the map , and when I reached it , it was obvious that it wouldn 't work for my plans . Not only were the houses all single story homes , but it was a neighborhood that had wooden fences , many of which had already been knocked down . I needed a good , solid cinder block wall surrounding an entire neighborhood . Still , that didn 't mean that the homes couldn 't provide food or a better vehicle . I stopped the car and looked around , seeing no movement . Though I was reluctant to turn the engine off , it was necessary since the noise would draw the dead . Stepping out of the vehicle , I eased the door closed and approached the nearest house with my knife ready . After ringing the doorbell , I waited , and when nothing answered I tried the doorknob . I finally used my credit card to gain entrance then stepped aside quickly . Nothing rushed out , and nobody shot at me . The day was getting better all the time . " Hello ? " I called out . " Is anybody here ? " Again , no reply . I stepped inside and pulled the door shut before looking around . The smell of death was strong in the house . That might mean death , or it might mean zombies , but I had to find out . Taking a deep breath , I began my search . I took a side street before reaching my house , not ready to face it yet . I was still angry that I 'd been driven from by home , but I also had no idea what to expect , and I didn 't want to get trapped inside if I decided to do some exploring . The street I turned onto wasn 't exactly devoid of un - life , and one of the faster creatures lunged at me as I passed . I was able to dodge him , but there were two more ahead of me that were going to be a bigger problem . I could have avoided them easily if I 'd been walking , but I was still acquainting myself with the bike , and wasn 't quite confident in my ability to nimbly slip around the two corpses . Since they weren 't too close to each other , I lay the bike down and went after the first one , jabbing the knife into its eye and twisting . It dropped instantly , its body jolting with a few spasms before laying still . The next one was bigger and therefore more of a threat . I needed to take it down before I could kill it , but that was never difficult since they 're not very smart . I moved the bike so it was lying lengthwise across the zombie 's path then I stood in front it , glancing behind me to make sure there was nothing else to worry about . As I had hoped , the dead thing tripped over the bike and I was able to jam my knife into the base of its neck before it could get up again . Getting the heavy body off the bike was the hard part , and one glance behind me told me that others were getting close . There wouldn 't be time to drag the bodies off the road , but I 'd come back and get them when I could do it . I took just a moment to clean my weapon on the dead thing 's filthy clothing . Sheathing the knife , I continued on to the next street , ignoring the vehicles I passed , since this street was flat and I needed a street on a hill . I turned the next corner and rode the bike up the incline , but I didn 't see any vehicles that looked like they might have manual transmissions . I had no more luck on Oleander Avenue , and by the time I reached Ocotillo Way , I had company . Two of the undead were following me and moaning loudly . Great . The dinner bell . I turned down Ocotillo , knowing I 'd have to find a vehicle soon , or I 'd need a place to hide . I was almost halfway down the street when I saw a nice , new truck that looked like it should have been safely tucked away inside a garage . I held my breath and peered inside , but was disappointed to find that it was an automatic . I continued all the way down the street without finding a single vehicle that would work , which meant I had to ride back up the next street , not seeing another choice . My legs were growing tired , but I pushed on and finally found something toward the top of the street . It was a small car , parked in a driveway , but it had a large shifting knob with a diagram on it that told me it was a manual transmission . It looked like it would be light enough for me to easily push out of the driveway . I hoped so , because now there were zombies at the top and bottom of the street . I was going to have to jump over a wall if the car wouldn 't start . I slept and read a lot those first few days . Partly it was my body trying to recover from the fall , but it was also a way to escape reality . By the third day , the pain in my back was tolerable , though my ankle was worse . I had never seen human flesh turn that color of purple before , and I hoped that I would never see it again . These days , the smallest of injuries could easily be deadly . For the next three weeks , I stayed inside the house except to go into the back yard and quietly use the grill or collect water from the pool . I had a couple of close calls . Once I almost dropped the grill lid on the flagstone patio , but I caught it in time . A loud noise like that would have had every zombie for miles around at the door . I did drop a full bucket of water into the pool on another occasion , but it was windy that day , and the sound of the loud splash was muted . I found several bottles of liquid chlorine in the garage , as well as a large plastic pail full of chlorine tablets , and I put it all to good use . Carrying buckets of water inside while using crutches was not easy , but it had to be done if I wanted to keep the dishes washed and the house clean . Having a few dirty dishes didn 't really matter in the grand scheme of things , but it gave me something to do . While I continued to read a lot , I knew that I needed to stay as active as possible , or I 'd fall into some bad habits that could hurt me later . The cleaning was part of that routine , and I began to add in some daily exercise as soon as my back allowed it . At my house , there was a treadmill and a weight machine , and I had used them religiously . Jeanette had nothing like that so I had to improvise . I started with the little bit of yoga I remembered from a class I 'd taken years earlier , figuring that I could at least stretch my muscles and give them a bit of a workout . As my back healed , I added some calisthenics and found some creative ways to exercise while not putting weight on my ankle . I even found that I could do squats and lunges using either my crutches or the wall for support . While I was carrying the bucket of water one day , I also realized that I could use items around the house to do weight training . The bucket of water worked well , but the water kept spilling out , usually all over me . After this happened a couple times , I finally got smart and dumped out the water , adding rocks from the yard instead . I had to wrap a towel around the handle so it wouldn 't dig into my hands , but it worked well . There were a few other items that got worked into my weightlifting routine : a heavy iron bar that I found in the garage , a cast iron frying pan , and a bronze statuette that stood on a table in the living room . The only thing I was missing in my workout was aerobics , and doing laps around the yard on my crutches just wasn 't cutting it . I quickly fell into a routine as the cleaning , exercise and reading filled my days . There were other little things I did , too , like cooking meals and treating drinking water once the five gallon jug was empty . I had to use pool water , but I filtered it with a clean linen tablecloth then boiled it on the grill before adding a couple drops of bleach . I was nervous the first few times I drank it , but I never got sick , so I think that my system worked . My bathing routine normally just involved a bucket full of treated water , but I allowed myself a real bath every now and then . This was quite an ordeal because not only did I have to treat the water , but I had to heat some of it on the grill before dumping it into the tub , which was upstairs . It took me a good hour to get the tub about halfway full . Needless to say , the water was usually lukewarm by the time I got into it , but I can 't begin to express how good it felt to sink into that half - tub of tepid water and relax for a while . Even keeping busy with the cleaning and exercise , I had so much time to read during the three weeks I was at Jeanette 's house that I went through most of the books in her collection . While it felt kind of nice to relax , I wasn 't used to being so idle and it began to bother me . Before my injury , my days had been filled by keeping the gardens going and making scavenging trips around town . I missed those activities , and I was anxious to start them again , but every time I almost convinced myself to go outside and do some recon , my ankle reminded me that it was not ready for that yet . The house was cold since there was no gas for heat , so I wore warm clothes while working or exercising . I stayed wrapped up in a thick comforter while I read . The temperatures only dropped to 30 or 40 degrees at the worst , which was fortunate . I know it got below freezing once or twice because I saw ice on the pool on those days . Still , it was tolerable ; more than the heat would be in the summer . By the time I could walk again and feel comfortable doing it , I 'd had a lot of time to think . I couldn 't move back into my house , and I couldn 't stay at Jeanette 's place much longer . I had only remained safe there because the dead hadn 't found me . Once I started making trips away from the house , they 'd catch on . Since it was still winter , there was no way I could think about going to Oregon for a few more months , as I 'd be traveling through the snow - covered mountains . That meant that I needed a place in town that I could fortify a little better . For some time now , I had been considering blocking off my whole neighborhood with big trucks , if I could figure out how to drive them . Assuming I could get them into place , I thought they might hold the dead back long enough for me to build a couple of block walls to close off the top and bottom of my street . But now that I couldn 't stay in my own house , I wasn 't sure there was any point of confining myself to that area . I thought that maybe I could find a better setup in a different neighborhood . I dug through Jeanette 's kitchen junk drawer , and I was lucky enough to find a local phone book with a map in it . I looked it over , trying to find an area of town that would work for my plan . There were a few possibilities , but if I remembered correctly , these areas all had only one - story houses . Since it was time to go shopping anyway , I decided I 'd do some exploring while I was out and about , but would need to find a vehicle first . It was likely that my truck was still in running condition , but I didn 't think I 'd be able to get it out of the garage without a fight . Even if it wasn 't overrun with the rotting dead , they had managed to crush the door in , and it would have to be removed before I could get the truck out . I decided to take the bike and do some recon . If nothing else , it would be good exercise . My ankle was still a little sore , and I was nervous about that , but I really had no choice . I 'd used up all of the food that was in the house . I wrapped my ankle , and dressed as I usually did for one of these excursions , putting on thick socks and long , tight - fitting pants and shirt . That made it hard for the zombies to get a grip on me . My hair went into a baseball cap , and I found some gloves and a fairly tight jacket to top it off . It wasn 't ideal , but I was just glad that Jeanette 's clothes fit me . The pants were a little short , but I didn 't think anybody would notice . I watched the street for a while and it looked clear , but that didn 't mean much . Sometimes the undead wandered around , and sometimes they just stood in one place for hours or even days . They could be anywhere . When I decided that it was as safe as it was going to get , I quietly unlocked the door and eased it open . It sounded so loud to me , but apparently nothing outside heard it . I stepped out and looked around , spotting one of the dead at the far end of the street to my right . It was looking the other way , just standing in a yard . The thing could decide to stay there for a week , so trying to outwait it was pointless . I checked the knife that was attached to the belt loops of my jeans then I quickly made my way down the driveway with my bike , keeping an eye on the dead guy down the street . If he was going to see me , it was better if he couldn 't tell where I was coming from , since I didn 't need him hanging out at the house . Odds were , he 'd follow me anyway , but I had no idea what sort of memories their rotting brains could hold and I didn 't want him remembering which house I 'd exited . Glancing back , I saw that he was still looking the other way , which was a huge relief . I hit the intersection and immediately saw a handful of the horrible creatures down the hill . I guess it was better than uphill , since that 's where I was going , but still , I was hoping not to be followed . The hill was steep , and I quickly grew out of breath . Three weeks of almost no aerobic exercise had not been good for me , and I was paying the price now . Pushing on , I covered another block then risked a glance over my shoulder . I was relieved to see that they had fallen back , but the steep hill was wearing on me , and I began to wonder if this was going to turn out to be a bad idea . Jeanette 's kitchen clock let me know that it was noon . My growling stomach had already told me as much , but it was good to know that I still had a feel for the time . I tried to light the stove , just to test it , but it didn 't seem to be working . There was no hiss of gas so that explained it . My gas water heater had quit working a while back , and so had my heater , telling me that the gas had finally stopped flowing . My stove was electric so that hadn 't been a problem at my house , but I was going to need another method of cooking here . I found a charcoal grill on the patio , and after a bit of quiet digging , I found a couple bags of charcoal and some lighter fluid . I 'd have to use it sparingly , since I didn 't know how long I 'd be staying , but it was enough to last me a while . In the beginning , I 'd worried about using the grill at my house , but it had soon become obvious that the zombies weren 't at all interested in cooking odors . They seemed focused on live human flesh , and they weren 't smart enough to make the mental leap between humans and human activity such as cooking . Even grilled meat didn 't seem to attract their attention . I heated up a pan of chicken broth , and added some white rice and canned tuna . There was no way to refrigerate the leftovers so I ate it all , promising myself that dinner would be something small , if I even bothered with dinner . I just wanted to crawl into bed and rest for a while , so that my battered body could start to heal . First I had to fill a couple of empty chlorine jugs with water to take upstairs for flushing the toilet . I also dragged up some candles and a flashlight that I found in a drawer , though I had to put new batteries in first . As an afterthought , I brought up some things that I could eat without cooking , so I wouldn 't have to go downstairs again for a while . There were some crackers and chips as well as some canned foods that could be eaten cold , and I brought the can opener up with me as well . I couldn 't carry up the 5 gallon bottle of water , so I poured some of it into smaller containers and brought them up . Navigating the stairs on crutches wasn 't easy , but it would have been impossible to get between floors without them . The backpack allowed me to carry what I needed , though it made me feel off - balance and I thought I was going to fall backwards more than once . By the time the last load was carried up , my good leg was shaking , and I was pretty sure I couldn 't have made another trip if my life had depended on it . I blocked off the top of the stairs with a heavy dresser , which was ridiculously difficult to move . It wouldn 't keep me safe forever , but it would slow the dead down if they made it that far . A few empty cans stacked on top of the dresser would act as an alarm system . Locking myself into the master bedroom , I slid a dresser in front of that door as well . Jeanette had a full bookcase and I planned on making use of the books . I was set for a while , I thought , as I walked over to look out the bedroom window . There were a couple walking corpses near the house and several still gathered together at the intersection , but I wasn 't worried . If they hadn 't found me yet , I was probably safe here unless I did something stupid . I promised myself not to play any music , and I 'd sleep when it was dark so that I wouldn 't need to light the candle unless I had to . The bedroom window was a thick , expensive one , meant to keep out the harsh Nevada sun , yet I could still hear the moans of the dead outside . Someday the noise might just push me over the edge , but not today . I was too tired to care . I grabbed a book and went to lay down on the bed , exhausted . A bit of the intersection was visible from the far edge of Jeanette 's large picture window , so that 's where I waited . It was only about five minutes before the first of the dead began to appear . At first none of them turned onto Mulberry Street , so I hoped that maybe they 'd lost me . I was actually starting to relax when I noticed movement from the corner of my eye . Stepping back quickly , I forgot and put weight on my injured leg . I bit back a scream of agony , grabbing the wall for support until the wave of pain finally passed . When I felt that I could move again , I hopped closer , and carefully looked outside to see what had caught my eye . One of the dead things stood in the street , just past the house . He seemed to be looking around , and I wondered if he was searching for me , or if he had maybe just followed a bird or cat this way . That happened all the time . The dead would trail something for a while then just stop and stand around when they lost sight of it . Some of them eventually returned to a specific place , and others didn 't . I always saw the same teenage girl zombie loitering outside the theater , clutching a red purse . Perhaps a residual memory had her standing there , eternally waiting for a boyfriend that would never arrive . Thoughts like this saddened me and they made it a little harder to kill the undead . I wanted to think of them as mindless husks , possessed by some other force that I needed to drive away . I often saw some of my deceased neighbors near my house , and my husband , Patrick , tended to spend most of his time there as well . It would have been so much easier if he 'd have gone somewhere else where I didn 't have to see him . It was pure torture for me . His thick blond hair was now matted with blood and gore from the gaping wound where his ear used to be . His eyes , which had always been a vibrant blue , were now the same milky white that I saw on all of the dead . Most of his throat had been ripped out , so I knew that even if a cure was ever found , he was beyond help . I couldn 't look at him without wondering about his last moments , certain that he had died in terrible pain . What kind of terror had he felt as his last breath had left his body ? I blinked away tears , not wanting to think about him . When I didn 't dwell on Patrick , my life was tolerable , and I kept busy just trying to survive . The other times , the times that I let my mind linger in the past , I didn 't care so much about staying alive , and I always began to ask myself if I even wanted to exist in this sort of a world . Those dark thoughts were dangerous , and it was best not to let them take hold , but I knew that as long as Patrick was around , the darkness would fester inside me . Pushing the bad thoughts away , I eased a little closer to the window again and peeked out . It appeared that much of the group that had followed me from my house was loitering in the intersection , and had that " bored and distracted " look about them . This usually meant that something had caught their attention momentarily , which was not good . I 'd counted on them continuing down the street until it dead - ended before wandering back up the hill . Some of them were turning onto Mulberry and moving my way . Others were returning the way they 'd come , and a few looked like they were continuing the trek down the hill . I wished that I had a better view of it all , but I wasn 't going to risk getting any closer to the window . If one of them got so much as a glimpse of me through the shutters , or saw a shadow of movement , I 'd be found out . I backed farther away and looked around . The house would not be easily defendable because it had a lot of big windows downstairs , but it did have a second floor that I might be able to block off . If I kept quiet and didn 't let the zombies see me , I just might be able to stay long enough for my ankle to heal . Making my way to the kitchen , I looked out the back door at the yard . Like my house , this one was also surrounded by a cinder block wall . There was also a pool , but the water in it was green and thick with algae . My purification tablets were back at the house , but hopefully I could find some bleach or chlorine to make the water useable . If not , it would have to be boiled . I did a quick search of the first floor though I 'd already checked it once when things had first gotten bad . Jeanette had told me that she was going to go to the shelter , but I 'd had to visit her house to be sure . I 'd been both disappointed and relieved to find the place empty , knowing that her absence meant that she was probably dead . At least I wouldn 't have to deal with her walking corpse , which would have been almost as bad as seeing Patrick . I had appropriated some supplies on my last visit . There had been a lot of pasta and flour , and I 'd taken most of it , knowing that the bugs would get into it if it sat around too long . The canned goods had been left behind for later . Going through the cupboards again , I was thrilled to find a blue 5 - gallon bottle of water in the back of the pantry . I hadn 't seen a water dispenser so I wasn 't sure why she had the bottle , but I didn 't care . It would work well for drinking and cooking , leaving the pool water for bathing and other things . The garage was full of odds and ends , which made searching for the crutches difficult . The slightest noise would give me away , and I had to move at a crawl to keep that from happening . It was almost an hour before I finally accomplished my goal and was able to move back into the house . I adjusted the crutches to fit me , since Jeanette was a little shorter than I was . Once that was done , I checked the front window again and was pleased to see the street almost empty . I made my way to the downstairs bathroom , and used some first aid supplies to clean my cuts and scrapes . If any of the open wounds had been contaminated with zombie blood or saliva , I was as good as dead , but there was no point in dwelling on that too much , since there was nothing that could be done about it . Cleaning the wounds thoroughly would at least decrease the chances of other infections , since running to the pharmacy for antibiotics was not going to be an option . Saving my ankle for last , I wrapped it with an Ace bandage . It was horribly swollen and turning purple and I still didn 't know if it was broken or sprained , but it didn 't matter . I was out of commission for a while , one way or the other . ~ to be continued ~ |
I just love this photo of my gorgeous great - grandson . When his mum sent it to me , it was titled " It 's time to pick apples again " . One of the real joys of Autumn . I am pretty sure he is in a tree at his Grandma 's house , and it reminded me of when my three younger boys were little . They loved to climb the tree in their Nan 's garden , to pick the apples too . But first to Saturday , which was windy but warm , and in the afternoon we went down to the seafront in Mojacar for my friend 's eightieth birthday . Joan is elderly and quite frail , but she comes to our craft group every Wednesday morning , and still does lovely knitting . She enjoys seeing her friends there as she doesn 't get out a lot these days . A couple of weeks ago she was really happy when she told us that it was almost her eightieth birthday ( we all knew really ) , and her daughter was arranging an afternoon tea - party for her and her friends . " She couldn 't have picked anything better for me " was what she said . It was held at a fairly new café / restaurant along the playa , run by an English lady who is renowned for making lovely cakes . Joan is still a deacon at the Evangelical church in Turre so a lot of her church friends were there , as well as her crafting friends , and of course , her family . We filled the area outside the café , and even the Chinese people from the bazaar next - door , kept popping in and out to see what was going on . This is just a few of the guests enjoying the lovely buffet that was provided . Then Joan 's daughter brought out a big cake with candles shaped like the number 80 . Joan stood in the middle enjoying all the fuss and attention . On the way home I dropped Chris off at a bar in Turre where he had arranged to meet a friend to watch football , but he was home again by mid - evening and we decided to walk around to our local bar for a quick drink . I said I wanted to be home to watch Casualty . I have watched it almost from its first episode , and I rarely miss it , but by the time we had had a brandy apiece , I knew I 'd be calling on i - player to see this week 's part ! It was a mild evening , and it was very pleasant to sit and chat , and watch the stars that were so bright that night . As we were emptying our glasses ready to leave , a friend turned up , so of course one thing led to another , and it was mid - night by the time we left . He had a Spanish friend with him , so I spent the rest of the evening practising my Spanish on him , and trying hard to understand what he said to me . He was very patient with me , and we managed very well . When we got home it did rain a little , but not enough to do any good . It was just enough to leave a fine layer of red dust on the outside table and chairs , and all the window sills ! ' Dirty rain ' is something we have had to get used to out here . We were hoping Tuesday would stay dry because it was the funeral of a good friend from the village . And it obliged us by staying dry all day . The service was held in the village Catholic church , but it was led by a Church Army officer who takes some of the services at my church . The little church was packed , with people standing at the back , and it was a lovely tribute to a well loved man . Afterwards we all went to a hostal on the edge of Turre for a " celebration of his life " . His wife wanted music , and dancing because that is what he loved . The tables were dressed with pale blue cloths and serviettes - his favourite colour , and there was lots of chatter , laughter and singing . They provided an excellent hot buffet , and all in all , I think we gave him the sort of send - off that he would thoroughly have approved of . I was busy chatting to a photographer friend when I happened to glance out the window . So he quite understood when I said , " Please excuse me for a minute . I have to take a photo of that sky " . I was almost too late , and by the time I had weaved through the crowd to the door , the sun had already sunk lower , but I did get this shot . It is lovely , but it doesn 't really do it justice . My youngest son Ben knows me well . He is a conductor on the trains , and as I was taking the photo above , he e - mailed me one he had just taken from the back of his train , of the sunset in Redditch . It is kind of nice to know we are all one under the same sky . On Wednesday my forecast showed a high chance of rain , and strong winds late afternoon , so I wasn 't looking forward to driving to choir practice . Some parts of the motorway are quite exposed , and I hate driving along it when it is too windy . But it must have been blowing in a different direction from usual , because I bowled along with no trouble . I had my eye on the sun going down , because there were clouds rolling in from all around , so I thought the chance of rain was probably right . But when I arrived at our practice room , the clouds were still broken up enough for the sun to penetrate in places , lighting up the valleys below , and I got this picture which I love . Do click on it for a larger picture which shows up the rays much better . We had an excellent practice . It is good to have our musical director back after a stay in UK , and we whizzed through all our new Christmas music . We have a lot to learn , and not much time to learn it in ! Well what a difference a day makes . On Thursday we woke up to the sound of torrential rain battering the plants and bouncing off the pool . And of course , when it rains heavily like that , it also spouts from all the corners of the roof because we have no guttering . The dogs didn 't get their morning walk and had to make do with runs around the yard each time the rain stopped . We were happy to see some rain at last and even the ground was grateful . You could almost hear it drinking it up , and it rained for long enough for some to sink in . The first lot just rolls off the top , but if it keeps going , some does get absorbed . The little birds got really excited by it , and when it stopped I could hear them singing and chattering all around us . But the timing was not good as we had arranged for a friend who is an electrician , to come that morning to renew all our outside sockets , and fit some extra ones in the porch . He phoned to say he would wait and see how it developed . We thought it was set in for the day , but by the time we had had breakfast and cleared up around the house , the sky looked like this . Brian and Barbara who run the charity I send my knitting for Africa to , are both in their eightieth year , and I knew they were scaling things down , but they had asked me not to say anything until an official letter was released . Well this week I got the official letter , and amongst other things it said that they would stop taking knitted items from the end of November . Panic ! ! I have people knitting for me all over this area , and I have no idea how I am going to get a message to all of them . However it is in the church newsletter this week , and I have told the Wednesday group , and asked people to tell their friends etc . Plus I also knew I had a lot of loose , knitted squares that needed sewing into blankets . Then I learned that my courier friend is also retiring and his last ' official ' trip to UK is mid - October , so now I had even less time to get everything finished off , and collected together . So I spent one day sorting out all my bags and boxes , and making piles of squares for blankets . And everyone has been absolutely wonderful . One friend at church took enough squares to make a whole blanket and said she would crochet the edging too . Another took some small pieces of crochet that needed several more rounds to make them large enough , and she has finished those ready to return to me on Sunday . At the Wednesday group , one lady took home two completed blankets to crochet edgings on them , and others took bags of squares to sew into strips , so next week I will just need to join the strips and do the borders . Meanwhile I have been sorting out all the oddments - both crocheted and knitted pieces of all shapes and sizes , and patchworking them to make a blanket . That is finished and edged . It is a bit odd but it will keep someone warm . So yesterday I spent all day watching the men working out in the porch while I stitched the last squares together , and now that is edged too , so I think I will have everything done and ready for Phil to take across to UK . I can 't begin to describe how grateful I am to everyone who has knitted for me over the past five years . Their generosity in giving time and materials has amazed me . I am looking forward to having a bit more time to work on my own projects , but I shall continue to support the amazing work of Greenfields Africa financially , by making things to sell etc , and for another year or so we will still be supporting the boy we sponsor for his education through the charity . Tango is such a funny cat . He makes himself comfortable just anywhere . Here he is suspended across me and and across a gap to the arm of the chair , completely oblivious to the fact I am trying to turn the blanket around as I work on it . Today I did my monthly food shopping , and while it is warm , I always take a cool bag with ice blocks in it , to ensure I get the fresh milk and any frozen goods , home safely . I always unpack that bag first , and when I had done it today , I left it on the chair in the kitchen , and stopped to make our lunch . The next thing I saw was Tango asleep on the bag , still full of ice blocks , and he stayed there most of the afternoon ! There 's no accounting . . . . Now I will link this with Annie 's Friday Smiles , and Rocking Your World , and leave you with one last sunset . It was taken at our friend 's wake , about ten minutes after the one above . Much of the vivid colour had gone when I went back outside to look , but it was still so beautiful that I had to take another picture ! Like I said - I just can 't help myself ! ! ( I 'm not even going to mention the face ! ) . Well another week has literally flown past . I don 't think I have done anything significant this week , but that in itself is rare , and something to be thankful for . And of course there have still been little moments of joy that deserve to be told . My smile this week is a photo taken on one of our early morning walks , but it isn 't a sun - rise . No it is the moon ! And while speaking of jacarandas , I mentioned a week ago how surprised I was to see flowers on these trees at this time of year . Then they were all on the tops of the trees , but now they are out on the lower branches too and they are even more beautiful when they have a backdrop of the pretty fern - like leaves on these trees . So here is a close up of a bunch that was hanging down at my level . My camera has not actually caught it with a very true colour as they are a more blue - mauve than this , but so pretty . And so to my week . Monday and Tuesday were spent doing some gardening . The front of the house was in urgent need of attention so we spent some time pruning shrubs and dead - heading the flowers . Then I potted up some chrysanthemums and pansies to hopefully give us some colour until the poinsettias arrive for Christmas ! I have optimistically added a few daffodil bulbs to some of the pots too , but I am not holding out for much success with them . People often stop and admire our garden , and comment on the flowers . I guess out here , flowers are almost a luxury item . The Spanish people either use their land for fruit and vegetables , or they have potted palms etc . We have the palms , and everything has to be in pots , but I like to have flowers growing around the base of the larger shrubs . It seems to be a good year for flowering trees because our bird of paradise tree has had a second blooming too . A few weeks ago it was covered with big brown stems of bean pods , but then I notices one new flower bud . Now it is covered in flowers again . In this close - up you can see some of the bean - pods . When I was sweeping up after my gardening session I found the seeds all over the floor . I also rescued a baby tree that had seeded itself . I have put it in a pot , but if it takes off I will have to find someone else who wants it . I have no - where I can plant it to let it grow like the first one has . My last job in the garden was to loosen the soil around the top of the pots and add a few fertiliser pellets . The soil does get exhausted in the pots , and this year the older hibiscus have hardly flowered at all , though the new ones have done well . But within a few days of me feeding them , I had flowers again ! We also have one orange tree that we bought on our thirtieth wedding anniversary , and that has the most fruit I have ever seen on it . But it is a late variety so they still have to hold on through some wind and bad weather , but I am quite hopeful we will have a good yield from it . Last year the citrus fruits were not good , and I struggled to find any bitter oranges to make marmalade , so I am hoping they will be more plentiful this year too . Sunsets have been at an all time low this month . The days have started cloudy but by tea - time the sky has been clear so there is nothing to reflect the rays and give some colour . But one evening when I was feeding the dogs I saw this and thought it was quite interesting . We actually had a small amount of rain later that night . And one evening I managed to take this . If my camera had been anywhere other than on the table in the kitchen , I would have been too late to take it . It certainly didn 't last for long . Last week I scared Annie with a picture of a spider . This week my bug is less scary . We came home from the shops one day and Chris spotted it on the edge of the garage roof . It is of course , a praying mantis . I rather like these , and they are certainly welcome in the garden as they eat a lot of smaller bugs . When I was gardening I found her again on one of the hibiscus plants , on a branch I had just pruned off . So I transferred her onto another plant . I didn 't want her to feel unwelcome ! Firstly I was so very grateful to a group of Spanish girls from my Intercambio group , who helped me with the translation for a flower festival information sheet . I mentioned last week that this was mostly done , but one girl was a bit uncertain as to the meaning of a part , so this week we met up and went through it together . Now I just have to finish typing up the translation and sending it to the friend who asked for it . I did have a go myself , but now that I have seen the authentic translation I think my Spanish still has a long way to go . I got some bits right , but I need to learn , and more importantly retain , more vocabulary . I was grateful to my son who gave me an online lesson via Skype , on how to add all the accents that are so important in Spanish as they can completely alter the meaning of a word . Until recently I have used an English keyboard on my PC and on my wall I have a list of number codes that add accents as needed , but now I have a Spanish keyboard , and it is actually so much easier , ONCE YOU KNOW ABOUT IT ! So typing up my document will be a lot quicker now . Of course it was exciting when my new printer arrived , especially as it came a day earlier than expected . We soon had it set up , and I am pleased with the things I have printed so far . printing the news letter for church should be a lot quicker and easier this week . I was grateful to Chris who suggested lunch out today , and we had the best fish and chips we have had since we came here . We had been told of this venue before , but we went on a Thursday and found they didn 't cook meals at lunch time , which is when we prefer to eat our main meal . But recently someone told us that they just do fish and chips as a special meal on Fridays . There was a good crowd there , and it was worth it . I can see us going there again . I am not a huge fan of fish but I know it is good for us so I try to serve it once a week . But Chris really enjoys white fish and if someone else is cooking it , that is fine by me ! I have managed to do some more of my blanket as the weather has been a little cooler , and I can see me sitting outside to do some in the afternoons now , like I did in the Spring . I love this time of year , when it is comfortably warm outside , but not too hot . But Chris fished the thermometer out of the pool and the water temperature has dropped to 22º , so I don 't think I 'll be doing much more swimming this year . That is the borderline temperature for me to start using it in the Spring , so I guess it is also the line to stop using it now . I have had two little parcels this week with some small items of craft materials in , so I am looking froward to using those . One was some new sparkly ink brush pens , and they are lovely bright colours and dry with a real sparkle . They will work well on some of my greetings cards . So now I will end with another couple of skies . You have seen the sunsets so here are two more sunrises . We do seem to be getting more colour in the sky in the mornings than in the evenings at the minute . You know what they say about red sky in the morning . . . . Our forecast is promising some rain and high winds for next week , though it is staying nice and warm , so we shall have to wait and see . But this morning the sky was a dull silver with no colour , and I had actually put my phone in my bag in case there was a nice sunrise ! But as we got to the front of the village and were walking up the slip road , I glanced behind me and from no - where this had appeared . So I got my photo after all . I like the silhouette of the tall pine tree against it . ( Shame about the lamp posts ! ) . Hi everyone . My smile today is the dress that I wore to my sewing group on Wednesday . I am sure some of you are wondering why a dress should make me smile , but I love sunflowers , and when I saw this dress , it was love at first sight . The surprising thing is that I bought it around thirty years ago ! It was from a stall in Wembley market , when it was in the old stadium every week . I had a baby in a pushchair and a little boy in tow , which is how I know it was thirty years ago ! We had little money to spare in those days , but Chris let me buy it and I got teased mercilessly when I wore it . As you can see , it is just a little straight shift - probably even more shapeless now than when it was new , and I guess it was brighter and bolder than most young mums were wearing at the time . I always remember one day when I had already had it for a good few years , and my second son was running a little bar ; he was in the habit of wearing rather garish tropical print shirts and had obviously been taking some stick for the one he had on that day , when we walked into the bar to see him . I was wearing my sunflower dress , and as we went in , everyone burst out laughing . Then someone said , " We know where you get it from now Mike ! " . I reckon that dress could tell some stories . It went on several holidays to Spain when our three younger boys were small , and I have worn it every summer since . It has needed a few repairs , and the material is now very thin , but I still love it . And now when I wear it everyone else loves it too . They come up and say , " Oh Kate , I love that dress . Where is it from ? Did you buy it out here ? " . I just smile and say " It was from a little market stall in Wembley some thirty years ago " . I will be really sad when it finally falls apart , but I reckon it has got a few summers left in it yet . And I will always smile each time I lift it out of the wardrobe . Well I am still wearing summer dresses , but there is a definite feel of Autumn in the air this week . It is a few degrees cooler all day , and a lot cooler at night , which in itself is something to be grateful for ! However , Monday was very unpleasant because we had the Levante wind , and it was very strong . So strong in fact , that I didn 't go outside for fear of being blown off my feet . It was quite frightening with the noise of doors and windows banging , shutters rattling and debris flying everywhere . It was a hot wind , and very dusty , so the next day every surface was covered in a film of reddish dust , and the ground was covered in leaves and other garden rubbish . Here is just one corner of our pool that had been clean and sparkling just the day before . But mostly it is cleared up now , though the front yard still needs some attention . We have been concentrating on the strip at the side of the house where Chris was pruning the bougainvillea . Each day he did a little bit more , and then we decided to cut it right back to get rid of the old wood in the centre of it . It was hard work for him , but we got there in the end . In the photo you can see a couple of pieces of the main stem that were embedded on the fence , so we cut around them , but after the rest was finished we worked on them until we got them free . It looks a bit sad now but my kitchen is so much brighter , and we know it will all grow again next year . It has opened up our view of the house next door , but as the owner is only there for a couple of weeks each year , this really doesn 't matter . We now have a huge pile of branches to chip but it will take a while as neither of us can do that sort of work for too long at a time . Also bougainvillea grows with lots of small branches growing out from each larger one , and these all have to be cut off before they can be fed into the shredder . But we had a good session on it on Tuesday , and if we do a little bit more each week , we will get rid of all of it in the end . I gave poor Annie a fright when I posted this photo on Facebook this week , but I did warn her that it would be showing up here as well , so she was forewarned for today . This rather splendid fellow turned up on Sunday , in the middle of a big web hung between the branches of the bougainvillea , so Chris was lucky I spotted it before he lopped off the last branches . I looked it up on the internet and it is a banded agiope spider , and I learned that although its bite is nasty - similar to a strong bee sting - it is not lethal , so that was good to know . I am no lover of spiders , and I really don 't like them on me , but I can still marvel at the design of the creator who made him . His stripes were amazing and even continued to the end of each of his long legs . He was still there when we finished the pruning on Tuesday so I gently cut his web and lowered him to the ground so he could move away and find somewhere else to make his home . His web was stronger than any I have felt before , and he was a big fellow - around 2 ½ to 3 inches from ' tip to toe ' . ( I actually read that the male is much smaller than the female so probably this was a Mrs not a Mr . ) On Wednesday our car was due its itv ( M . O . T . for our friends in UK ) , and normally we have it fully serviced the week before this . Unfortunately our mechanic friend who always does this , went off for two weeks holiday so he was unable to do it until Tuesday , the day before its test . He lives , and has his workshop , on the campo beyond the urbanisation of Huerta Nueva , across the road from our village . It is quite a walk back for Chris when he takes the car over there , so I suggested we drove over early with the dogs and walked them back , rather than going out with them first . They got very excited as we loaded them into the car , and by 8 . 00 we were making our way back home with them . It was so peaceful around Andy 's house and the rising sun made a misty haze over the olive trees . There wasn 't another soul around . Usually we take the car for its test ourselves . It is a drive through system here and we have done it several times now so we know what to expect , but the best test centre is over at Lorca , a good 45 minutes drive from here , and it was going to be difficult fitting it in between my sewing group in the morning and choir practice in the evening , so we were very grateful to Andy who got the service done in good time and took it over for the test for us before we got it back on Tuesday night . We were also grateful that it passed well and didn 't need any expensive work done on it . I thought our intercambio group might start back this week , but everyone was busy so we are going to try again next week . I was a bit disappointed as I had a document that I had promised a friend I would try to get translated from English to Spanish for her , and I was hoping some of the Spanish girls who come to the group might help me . So I sent out a message and straight away three people offered to help , so now most of it is done . I am grateful to have friends so willing to help . The morning have been lovely this week . With a few clouds always being present , the sun has risen gently and lit up the sky beautifully . I 'll save the best for the end of this post , but here is one I took yesterday as we were walking up the slip road at the front of our village . There were some white puffy clouds ahead that turned a lovely golden yellow . Here they are up through the jacaranda trees that line the slip road . It must be something to do with the weather this year , because as you can see , there are some lovely lilac blossoms on the top of the tree . Normally these bloom in the Spring before there are any leaves on the trees , so it is really strange to see both leaves and flowers together . The reason the clouds turned yellow can be seen if I turn right round and look down the road . The sun had just broken through . Isn 't it lovely ? ! Inside was the usual lovely white organza bag containing lots of pretty colours of wool . This time I did buy one of each of the two - coloured yarns that they do . I still don 't like them as much as the plain colours but I saw something on the internet that was made using one and it was really nice , so I thought I might as well have one of each in my stash . More importantly I now have three more balls of the parchment yarn that I need to do the borders on all my blanket squares . While I was waiting for this to arrive I made another small square - I liked the way this one turned out , and I also did the second of the much larger squares . Now these can both have their borders done . Then I am almost half way though the blanket . I need to make one more of each motif and start fitting them together . I have also done some more mystical lantern motifs for my shawl . I am half - way through this as well . It is a good project to have handy when I am watching TV or talking to someone , as they are easy motifs to make and don 't require too much concentration . I started joining the chains of lanterns together this week , so I can see what I need next . I quite like the way the random colours are working out . And finally here are the photos of the truly splendid sunrise we had on Monday morning . I woke up to a rosy glow in the bedroom and leaping up , I threw on a cotton kaftan ( don 't want to scare the neighbours ! ) and grabbed my camera as I rushed out the front door . I know how quickly these skies can change and I didn 't want to miss it . The whole sky was a fiery orange . The cloud was breaking up , and the sun was breaking through . We continued down to the front of the village and up along the slip road . By now the sun was winning over the clouds , and the sky was getting lighter . Then we turned up and walked along the side of the village up to the top , and back home down through the main street . The next time we had a clear view of the sky , the sun was out . So this was my final shot . The reason I am so late posting tonight is because I have just chatted to my sister for over an hour on Skype . That is something else I am grateful for . Skype has helped me keep in touch since we moved over here , and it is great to be able see people when I am talking to them . It is almost like being in a room with them . This blog is all about being positive . On her blog at Celtic House , Virginia encourages us to look for the silver linings , to find the things we can be grateful for , and then somehow the low points of our week don 't seem so bad . I have had another lovely week , but rather than highlight one little part of it , I thought I would post this list that I saw on Facebook a while ago , that is really the essence of what we are aiming for in our weekly blog posts . So I hope you can agree with most of the items on this list today . The house was truly amazing . It was set at the very top of a mountain on the edge of Mojacar . It was only accessible by a single lane dirt track , that hugged the edge of the mountain , so we ( choir and guests ) had to park our cars at the bottom and be shuttled up in a convoy of six cars , that travelled together and went up and down many times until everyone was up there . The concert itself was a huge success . There were about sixty guests as well as a team of workers from the charity , and they were all very generous with their praise , including giving us a standing ovation at the end . We had very little space to actually stand in . At the end of the room there were three steps leading up to a bar , that had the garage behind it . A curtain was hung across this and we stood in front of it , making use of the steps to ensure everyone had a good view of our musical director , David . When we had planned our ' arrangement ' at last week 's practice , we were told we each had the space of one floor tile to stand on ! In fact it was not quite as cramped as that , but I am not good in small spaces , so I was glad I was on the end of the front row , so I could step down onto floor level , and feel relatively free . Even David said he thought it was the best concert we had ever done . We liked the fairly informal arrangement . It was formal enough to be like a theatre performance in that the audience sat and listened to us ( I have sung in bars where there is a constant background noise of murmuring voices and coffee machines etc , which can be very off - putting ) . But the seating was informal in that everyone sat on sofas , window seats , stools and even the hearth around the fire , as you can see better in this panoramic photo taken by one of the guests . Two thirds of the way down the room , there were two steps which led up to smaller area , also filled with seating for the guests , and David stood on these steps to conduct us as there was no space between us and the front row seats . He is an excellent musical director , and really knows how to get the best out of us . And he is generous with his praise when we do it right . As you can see in this last photo , we have all learned to sing out and not bury our faces in our books , and we all love doing it . His eyes are sharp and he always says there is no room for ' shrinking violets ' . He expects us all to give of our best so we do . The rest of the week was quite tame by comparison until we got to Thursday when were involved in another event . This was quite a different occasion as it was the ' Celebration of Life ' Service for our dear friend Jean . Her daughter and son - in - law are back out here now , and they wanted it to be sooner rather than later , so a group of us got together and had it all organised in no time . It was held in our little church at Llanos del Peral on another hot and sticky afternoon . Chris had arranged the flowers herself and they looked beautiful . There was also a lovely montage of photos on display that Jean 's Grandson had prepared for the funeral . He selected all the photos and sent them to the printer along with poems and messages from immediate family which are the pieces of writing below the pictures . The printer put them all onto this screen which just rolls down into a neat little box at the base so it is easy to transport , and display again . I thought it was really well done . It was all lovely . Our little church was full with over eighty people coming from all around this area . Jean certainly left her mark on everyone she met , and they all loved her . Other than that my time has been spent doing as little as possible . We have had another mini - heatwave and on Monday the thermometer was showing 42º in the shade . ( For those that don 't relate to Cetigrade very well , that is around 107ºF ) . It was an all time high even for here , for September , and I really didn 't enjoy it . We called all the animals in with us and sat in the main room with the air - con on , but I find that kind of heat is very draining and saps all my energy . It didn 't even drop far at night . When we went out with the dogs at 7 . 30 the next morning , the thermometer on the farmacia was already showing 30º and had moved up to 34º by the time we got home , just under an hour later . Since then the temperature has dropped a bit , though not by the ten degrees that were forecast . But it is down to around 25º when we go out in the mornings , and is only rising to the mid - thirties at lunch time . That is still high for September , but we can cope with it , and before long we will be moaning that it is cold when we get up ! So we will enjoy it while we can . Most days it has been too hot to do my crochet , but one day I managed some and as I put the border on a finished square I noticed my ball of ' parchment ' yarn was very small . And I finished my square with just a centimetre of wool to spare . Now that is what I call a happy ending . So today I have ordered some more , and hopefully there will be enough to edge the rest of my squares and do a border round the whole blanket . Another order I made today was rather exciting . I have ordered myself a colour lazer printer . I have been thinking about it for a long time , and I am fed up with buying ink cartridges every few weeks , so I am really looking forward to seeing how I get on with it . I shall still use my inkjet printer for my scrapbook pages because it is a wide - bed printer , and I like to make make my scrapbook pages 12 " x12 " . But for cards etc , I think the lazer will be better . I use my computer more and more in card - making as my silly arms and hands fail to co - operate with my brain sometimes , making too much colouring and gluing difficult . At least on the computer , I can put things right before I print them . It is going to take a week or so to arrive , so that is something to look forward to . A big thank you to those who faithfully read my ramblings week by week . I am grateful for your visits and comments , and I enjoy reading about what makes you smile too . So I will link up with Rocking Your World , and Annie 's Friday Smiles , and visit as many as I can of you lovely people too . I now live permanently in Los Gallardos , a small village in Andalucia , Southern Spain with my husband Chris . It was hard to leave five sons , their partners , and seven grand - children back at home , but we hope they will all come to visit us when they can . The exciting news is that I now have a great - grandson as well . |
I just love this photo of my gorgeous great - grandson . When his mum sent it to me , it was titled " It 's time to pick apples again " . One of the real joys of Autumn . I am pretty sure he is in a tree at his Grandma 's house , and it reminded me of when my three younger boys were little . They loved to climb the tree in their Nan 's garden , to pick the apples too . But first to Saturday , which was windy but warm , and in the afternoon we went down to the seafront in Mojacar for my friend 's eightieth birthday . Joan is elderly and quite frail , but she comes to our craft group every Wednesday morning , and still does lovely knitting . She enjoys seeing her friends there as she doesn 't get out a lot these days . A couple of weeks ago she was really happy when she told us that it was almost her eightieth birthday ( we all knew really ) , and her daughter was arranging an afternoon tea - party for her and her friends . " She couldn 't have picked anything better for me " was what she said . It was held at a fairly new café / restaurant along the playa , run by an English lady who is renowned for making lovely cakes . Joan is still a deacon at the Evangelical church in Turre so a lot of her church friends were there , as well as her crafting friends , and of course , her family . We filled the area outside the café , and even the Chinese people from the bazaar next - door , kept popping in and out to see what was going on . This is just a few of the guests enjoying the lovely buffet that was provided . Then Joan 's daughter brought out a big cake with candles shaped like the number 80 . Joan stood in the middle enjoying all the fuss and attention . On the way home I dropped Chris off at a bar in Turre where he had arranged to meet a friend to watch football , but he was home again by mid - evening and we decided to walk around to our local bar for a quick drink . I said I wanted to be home to watch Casualty . I have watched it almost from its first episode , and I rarely miss it , but by the time we had had a brandy apiece , I knew I 'd be calling on i - player to see this week 's part ! It was a mild evening , and it was very pleasant to sit and chat , and watch the stars that were so bright that night . As we were emptying our glasses ready to leave , a friend turned up , so of course one thing led to another , and it was mid - night by the time we left . He had a Spanish friend with him , so I spent the rest of the evening practising my Spanish on him , and trying hard to understand what he said to me . He was very patient with me , and we managed very well . When we got home it did rain a little , but not enough to do any good . It was just enough to leave a fine layer of red dust on the outside table and chairs , and all the window sills ! ' Dirty rain ' is something we have had to get used to out here . We were hoping Tuesday would stay dry because it was the funeral of a good friend from the village . And it obliged us by staying dry all day . The service was held in the village Catholic church , but it was led by a Church Army officer who takes some of the services at my church . The little church was packed , with people standing at the back , and it was a lovely tribute to a well loved man . Afterwards we all went to a hostal on the edge of Turre for a " celebration of his life " . His wife wanted music , and dancing because that is what he loved . The tables were dressed with pale blue cloths and serviettes - his favourite colour , and there was lots of chatter , laughter and singing . They provided an excellent hot buffet , and all in all , I think we gave him the sort of send - off that he would thoroughly have approved of . I was busy chatting to a photographer friend when I happened to glance out the window . So he quite understood when I said , " Please excuse me for a minute . I have to take a photo of that sky " . I was almost too late , and by the time I had weaved through the crowd to the door , the sun had already sunk lower , but I did get this shot . It is lovely , but it doesn 't really do it justice . My youngest son Ben knows me well . He is a conductor on the trains , and as I was taking the photo above , he e - mailed me one he had just taken from the back of his train , of the sunset in Redditch . It is kind of nice to know we are all one under the same sky . On Wednesday my forecast showed a high chance of rain , and strong winds late afternoon , so I wasn 't looking forward to driving to choir practice . Some parts of the motorway are quite exposed , and I hate driving along it when it is too windy . But it must have been blowing in a different direction from usual , because I bowled along with no trouble . I had my eye on the sun going down , because there were clouds rolling in from all around , so I thought the chance of rain was probably right . But when I arrived at our practice room , the clouds were still broken up enough for the sun to penetrate in places , lighting up the valleys below , and I got this picture which I love . Do click on it for a larger picture which shows up the rays much better . We had an excellent practice . It is good to have our musical director back after a stay in UK , and we whizzed through all our new Christmas music . We have a lot to learn , and not much time to learn it in ! Well what a difference a day makes . On Thursday we woke up to the sound of torrential rain battering the plants and bouncing off the pool . And of course , when it rains heavily like that , it also spouts from all the corners of the roof because we have no guttering . The dogs didn 't get their morning walk and had to make do with runs around the yard each time the rain stopped . We were happy to see some rain at last and even the ground was grateful . You could almost hear it drinking it up , and it rained for long enough for some to sink in . The first lot just rolls off the top , but if it keeps going , some does get absorbed . The little birds got really excited by it , and when it stopped I could hear them singing and chattering all around us . But the timing was not good as we had arranged for a friend who is an electrician , to come that morning to renew all our outside sockets , and fit some extra ones in the porch . He phoned to say he would wait and see how it developed . We thought it was set in for the day , but by the time we had had breakfast and cleared up around the house , the sky looked like this . Brian and Barbara who run the charity I send my knitting for Africa to , are both in their eightieth year , and I knew they were scaling things down , but they had asked me not to say anything until an official letter was released . Well this week I got the official letter , and amongst other things it said that they would stop taking knitted items from the end of November . Panic ! ! I have people knitting for me all over this area , and I have no idea how I am going to get a message to all of them . However it is in the church newsletter this week , and I have told the Wednesday group , and asked people to tell their friends etc . Plus I also knew I had a lot of loose , knitted squares that needed sewing into blankets . Then I learned that my courier friend is also retiring and his last ' official ' trip to UK is mid - October , so now I had even less time to get everything finished off , and collected together . So I spent one day sorting out all my bags and boxes , and making piles of squares for blankets . And everyone has been absolutely wonderful . One friend at church took enough squares to make a whole blanket and said she would crochet the edging too . Another took some small pieces of crochet that needed several more rounds to make them large enough , and she has finished those ready to return to me on Sunday . At the Wednesday group , one lady took home two completed blankets to crochet edgings on them , and others took bags of squares to sew into strips , so next week I will just need to join the strips and do the borders . Meanwhile I have been sorting out all the oddments - both crocheted and knitted pieces of all shapes and sizes , and patchworking them to make a blanket . That is finished and edged . It is a bit odd but it will keep someone warm . So yesterday I spent all day watching the men working out in the porch while I stitched the last squares together , and now that is edged too , so I think I will have everything done and ready for Phil to take across to UK . I can 't begin to describe how grateful I am to everyone who has knitted for me over the past five years . Their generosity in giving time and materials has amazed me . I am looking forward to having a bit more time to work on my own projects , but I shall continue to support the amazing work of Greenfields Africa financially , by making things to sell etc , and for another year or so we will still be supporting the boy we sponsor for his education through the charity . Tango is such a funny cat . He makes himself comfortable just anywhere . Here he is suspended across me and and across a gap to the arm of the chair , completely oblivious to the fact I am trying to turn the blanket around as I work on it . Today I did my monthly food shopping , and while it is warm , I always take a cool bag with ice blocks in it , to ensure I get the fresh milk and any frozen goods , home safely . I always unpack that bag first , and when I had done it today , I left it on the chair in the kitchen , and stopped to make our lunch . The next thing I saw was Tango asleep on the bag , still full of ice blocks , and he stayed there most of the afternoon ! There 's no accounting . . . . Now I will link this with Annie 's Friday Smiles , and Rocking Your World , and leave you with one last sunset . It was taken at our friend 's wake , about ten minutes after the one above . Much of the vivid colour had gone when I went back outside to look , but it was still so beautiful that I had to take another picture ! Like I said - I just can 't help myself ! ! ( I 'm not even going to mention the face ! ) . Well another week has literally flown past . I don 't think I have done anything significant this week , but that in itself is rare , and something to be thankful for . And of course there have still been little moments of joy that deserve to be told . My smile this week is a photo taken on one of our early morning walks , but it isn 't a sun - rise . No it is the moon ! And while speaking of jacarandas , I mentioned a week ago how surprised I was to see flowers on these trees at this time of year . Then they were all on the tops of the trees , but now they are out on the lower branches too and they are even more beautiful when they have a backdrop of the pretty fern - like leaves on these trees . So here is a close up of a bunch that was hanging down at my level . My camera has not actually caught it with a very true colour as they are a more blue - mauve than this , but so pretty . And so to my week . Monday and Tuesday were spent doing some gardening . The front of the house was in urgent need of attention so we spent some time pruning shrubs and dead - heading the flowers . Then I potted up some chrysanthemums and pansies to hopefully give us some colour until the poinsettias arrive for Christmas ! I have optimistically added a few daffodil bulbs to some of the pots too , but I am not holding out for much success with them . People often stop and admire our garden , and comment on the flowers . I guess out here , flowers are almost a luxury item . The Spanish people either use their land for fruit and vegetables , or they have potted palms etc . We have the palms , and everything has to be in pots , but I like to have flowers growing around the base of the larger shrubs . It seems to be a good year for flowering trees because our bird of paradise tree has had a second blooming too . A few weeks ago it was covered with big brown stems of bean pods , but then I notices one new flower bud . Now it is covered in flowers again . In this close - up you can see some of the bean - pods . When I was sweeping up after my gardening session I found the seeds all over the floor . I also rescued a baby tree that had seeded itself . I have put it in a pot , but if it takes off I will have to find someone else who wants it . I have no - where I can plant it to let it grow like the first one has . My last job in the garden was to loosen the soil around the top of the pots and add a few fertiliser pellets . The soil does get exhausted in the pots , and this year the older hibiscus have hardly flowered at all , though the new ones have done well . But within a few days of me feeding them , I had flowers again ! We also have one orange tree that we bought on our thirtieth wedding anniversary , and that has the most fruit I have ever seen on it . But it is a late variety so they still have to hold on through some wind and bad weather , but I am quite hopeful we will have a good yield from it . Last year the citrus fruits were not good , and I struggled to find any bitter oranges to make marmalade , so I am hoping they will be more plentiful this year too . Sunsets have been at an all time low this month . The days have started cloudy but by tea - time the sky has been clear so there is nothing to reflect the rays and give some colour . But one evening when I was feeding the dogs I saw this and thought it was quite interesting . We actually had a small amount of rain later that night . And one evening I managed to take this . If my camera had been anywhere other than on the table in the kitchen , I would have been too late to take it . It certainly didn 't last for long . Last week I scared Annie with a picture of a spider . This week my bug is less scary . We came home from the shops one day and Chris spotted it on the edge of the garage roof . It is of course , a praying mantis . I rather like these , and they are certainly welcome in the garden as they eat a lot of smaller bugs . When I was gardening I found her again on one of the hibiscus plants , on a branch I had just pruned off . So I transferred her onto another plant . I didn 't want her to feel unwelcome ! Firstly I was so very grateful to a group of Spanish girls from my Intercambio group , who helped me with the translation for a flower festival information sheet . I mentioned last week that this was mostly done , but one girl was a bit uncertain as to the meaning of a part , so this week we met up and went through it together . Now I just have to finish typing up the translation and sending it to the friend who asked for it . I did have a go myself , but now that I have seen the authentic translation I think my Spanish still has a long way to go . I got some bits right , but I need to learn , and more importantly retain , more vocabulary . I was grateful to my son who gave me an online lesson via Skype , on how to add all the accents that are so important in Spanish as they can completely alter the meaning of a word . Until recently I have used an English keyboard on my PC and on my wall I have a list of number codes that add accents as needed , but now I have a Spanish keyboard , and it is actually so much easier , ONCE YOU KNOW ABOUT IT ! So typing up my document will be a lot quicker now . Of course it was exciting when my new printer arrived , especially as it came a day earlier than expected . We soon had it set up , and I am pleased with the things I have printed so far . printing the news letter for church should be a lot quicker and easier this week . I was grateful to Chris who suggested lunch out today , and we had the best fish and chips we have had since we came here . We had been told of this venue before , but we went on a Thursday and found they didn 't cook meals at lunch time , which is when we prefer to eat our main meal . But recently someone told us that they just do fish and chips as a special meal on Fridays . There was a good crowd there , and it was worth it . I can see us going there again . I am not a huge fan of fish but I know it is good for us so I try to serve it once a week . But Chris really enjoys white fish and if someone else is cooking it , that is fine by me ! I have managed to do some more of my blanket as the weather has been a little cooler , and I can see me sitting outside to do some in the afternoons now , like I did in the Spring . I love this time of year , when it is comfortably warm outside , but not too hot . But Chris fished the thermometer out of the pool and the water temperature has dropped to 22º , so I don 't think I 'll be doing much more swimming this year . That is the borderline temperature for me to start using it in the Spring , so I guess it is also the line to stop using it now . I have had two little parcels this week with some small items of craft materials in , so I am looking froward to using those . One was some new sparkly ink brush pens , and they are lovely bright colours and dry with a real sparkle . They will work well on some of my greetings cards . So now I will end with another couple of skies . You have seen the sunsets so here are two more sunrises . We do seem to be getting more colour in the sky in the mornings than in the evenings at the minute . You know what they say about red sky in the morning . . . . Our forecast is promising some rain and high winds for next week , though it is staying nice and warm , so we shall have to wait and see . But this morning the sky was a dull silver with no colour , and I had actually put my phone in my bag in case there was a nice sunrise ! But as we got to the front of the village and were walking up the slip road , I glanced behind me and from no - where this had appeared . So I got my photo after all . I like the silhouette of the tall pine tree against it . ( Shame about the lamp posts ! ) . Hi everyone . My smile today is the dress that I wore to my sewing group on Wednesday . I am sure some of you are wondering why a dress should make me smile , but I love sunflowers , and when I saw this dress , it was love at first sight . The surprising thing is that I bought it around thirty years ago ! It was from a stall in Wembley market , when it was in the old stadium every week . I had a baby in a pushchair and a little boy in tow , which is how I know it was thirty years ago ! We had little money to spare in those days , but Chris let me buy it and I got teased mercilessly when I wore it . As you can see , it is just a little straight shift - probably even more shapeless now than when it was new , and I guess it was brighter and bolder than most young mums were wearing at the time . I always remember one day when I had already had it for a good few years , and my second son was running a little bar ; he was in the habit of wearing rather garish tropical print shirts and had obviously been taking some stick for the one he had on that day , when we walked into the bar to see him . I was wearing my sunflower dress , and as we went in , everyone burst out laughing . Then someone said , " We know where you get it from now Mike ! " . I reckon that dress could tell some stories . It went on several holidays to Spain when our three younger boys were small , and I have worn it every summer since . It has needed a few repairs , and the material is now very thin , but I still love it . And now when I wear it everyone else loves it too . They come up and say , " Oh Kate , I love that dress . Where is it from ? Did you buy it out here ? " . I just smile and say " It was from a little market stall in Wembley some thirty years ago " . I will be really sad when it finally falls apart , but I reckon it has got a few summers left in it yet . And I will always smile each time I lift it out of the wardrobe . Well I am still wearing summer dresses , but there is a definite feel of Autumn in the air this week . It is a few degrees cooler all day , and a lot cooler at night , which in itself is something to be grateful for ! However , Monday was very unpleasant because we had the Levante wind , and it was very strong . So strong in fact , that I didn 't go outside for fear of being blown off my feet . It was quite frightening with the noise of doors and windows banging , shutters rattling and debris flying everywhere . It was a hot wind , and very dusty , so the next day every surface was covered in a film of reddish dust , and the ground was covered in leaves and other garden rubbish . Here is just one corner of our pool that had been clean and sparkling just the day before . But mostly it is cleared up now , though the front yard still needs some attention . We have been concentrating on the strip at the side of the house where Chris was pruning the bougainvillea . Each day he did a little bit more , and then we decided to cut it right back to get rid of the old wood in the centre of it . It was hard work for him , but we got there in the end . In the photo you can see a couple of pieces of the main stem that were embedded on the fence , so we cut around them , but after the rest was finished we worked on them until we got them free . It looks a bit sad now but my kitchen is so much brighter , and we know it will all grow again next year . It has opened up our view of the house next door , but as the owner is only there for a couple of weeks each year , this really doesn 't matter . We now have a huge pile of branches to chip but it will take a while as neither of us can do that sort of work for too long at a time . Also bougainvillea grows with lots of small branches growing out from each larger one , and these all have to be cut off before they can be fed into the shredder . But we had a good session on it on Tuesday , and if we do a little bit more each week , we will get rid of all of it in the end . I gave poor Annie a fright when I posted this photo on Facebook this week , but I did warn her that it would be showing up here as well , so she was forewarned for today . This rather splendid fellow turned up on Sunday , in the middle of a big web hung between the branches of the bougainvillea , so Chris was lucky I spotted it before he lopped off the last branches . I looked it up on the internet and it is a banded agiope spider , and I learned that although its bite is nasty - similar to a strong bee sting - it is not lethal , so that was good to know . I am no lover of spiders , and I really don 't like them on me , but I can still marvel at the design of the creator who made him . His stripes were amazing and even continued to the end of each of his long legs . He was still there when we finished the pruning on Tuesday so I gently cut his web and lowered him to the ground so he could move away and find somewhere else to make his home . His web was stronger than any I have felt before , and he was a big fellow - around 2 ½ to 3 inches from ' tip to toe ' . ( I actually read that the male is much smaller than the female so probably this was a Mrs not a Mr . ) On Wednesday our car was due its itv ( M . O . T . for our friends in UK ) , and normally we have it fully serviced the week before this . Unfortunately our mechanic friend who always does this , went off for two weeks holiday so he was unable to do it until Tuesday , the day before its test . He lives , and has his workshop , on the campo beyond the urbanisation of Huerta Nueva , across the road from our village . It is quite a walk back for Chris when he takes the car over there , so I suggested we drove over early with the dogs and walked them back , rather than going out with them first . They got very excited as we loaded them into the car , and by 8 . 00 we were making our way back home with them . It was so peaceful around Andy 's house and the rising sun made a misty haze over the olive trees . There wasn 't another soul around . Usually we take the car for its test ourselves . It is a drive through system here and we have done it several times now so we know what to expect , but the best test centre is over at Lorca , a good 45 minutes drive from here , and it was going to be difficult fitting it in between my sewing group in the morning and choir practice in the evening , so we were very grateful to Andy who got the service done in good time and took it over for the test for us before we got it back on Tuesday night . We were also grateful that it passed well and didn 't need any expensive work done on it . I thought our intercambio group might start back this week , but everyone was busy so we are going to try again next week . I was a bit disappointed as I had a document that I had promised a friend I would try to get translated from English to Spanish for her , and I was hoping some of the Spanish girls who come to the group might help me . So I sent out a message and straight away three people offered to help , so now most of it is done . I am grateful to have friends so willing to help . The morning have been lovely this week . With a few clouds always being present , the sun has risen gently and lit up the sky beautifully . I 'll save the best for the end of this post , but here is one I took yesterday as we were walking up the slip road at the front of our village . There were some white puffy clouds ahead that turned a lovely golden yellow . Here they are up through the jacaranda trees that line the slip road . It must be something to do with the weather this year , because as you can see , there are some lovely lilac blossoms on the top of the tree . Normally these bloom in the Spring before there are any leaves on the trees , so it is really strange to see both leaves and flowers together . The reason the clouds turned yellow can be seen if I turn right round and look down the road . The sun had just broken through . Isn 't it lovely ? ! Inside was the usual lovely white organza bag containing lots of pretty colours of wool . This time I did buy one of each of the two - coloured yarns that they do . I still don 't like them as much as the plain colours but I saw something on the internet that was made using one and it was really nice , so I thought I might as well have one of each in my stash . More importantly I now have three more balls of the parchment yarn that I need to do the borders on all my blanket squares . While I was waiting for this to arrive I made another small square - I liked the way this one turned out , and I also did the second of the much larger squares . Now these can both have their borders done . Then I am almost half way though the blanket . I need to make one more of each motif and start fitting them together . I have also done some more mystical lantern motifs for my shawl . I am half - way through this as well . It is a good project to have handy when I am watching TV or talking to someone , as they are easy motifs to make and don 't require too much concentration . I started joining the chains of lanterns together this week , so I can see what I need next . I quite like the way the random colours are working out . And finally here are the photos of the truly splendid sunrise we had on Monday morning . I woke up to a rosy glow in the bedroom and leaping up , I threw on a cotton kaftan ( don 't want to scare the neighbours ! ) and grabbed my camera as I rushed out the front door . I know how quickly these skies can change and I didn 't want to miss it . The whole sky was a fiery orange . The cloud was breaking up , and the sun was breaking through . We continued down to the front of the village and up along the slip road . By now the sun was winning over the clouds , and the sky was getting lighter . Then we turned up and walked along the side of the village up to the top , and back home down through the main street . The next time we had a clear view of the sky , the sun was out . So this was my final shot . The reason I am so late posting tonight is because I have just chatted to my sister for over an hour on Skype . That is something else I am grateful for . Skype has helped me keep in touch since we moved over here , and it is great to be able see people when I am talking to them . It is almost like being in a room with them . This blog is all about being positive . On her blog at Celtic House , Virginia encourages us to look for the silver linings , to find the things we can be grateful for , and then somehow the low points of our week don 't seem so bad . I have had another lovely week , but rather than highlight one little part of it , I thought I would post this list that I saw on Facebook a while ago , that is really the essence of what we are aiming for in our weekly blog posts . So I hope you can agree with most of the items on this list today . The house was truly amazing . It was set at the very top of a mountain on the edge of Mojacar . It was only accessible by a single lane dirt track , that hugged the edge of the mountain , so we ( choir and guests ) had to park our cars at the bottom and be shuttled up in a convoy of six cars , that travelled together and went up and down many times until everyone was up there . The concert itself was a huge success . There were about sixty guests as well as a team of workers from the charity , and they were all very generous with their praise , including giving us a standing ovation at the end . We had very little space to actually stand in . At the end of the room there were three steps leading up to a bar , that had the garage behind it . A curtain was hung across this and we stood in front of it , making use of the steps to ensure everyone had a good view of our musical director , David . When we had planned our ' arrangement ' at last week 's practice , we were told we each had the space of one floor tile to stand on ! In fact it was not quite as cramped as that , but I am not good in small spaces , so I was glad I was on the end of the front row , so I could step down onto floor level , and feel relatively free . Even David said he thought it was the best concert we had ever done . We liked the fairly informal arrangement . It was formal enough to be like a theatre performance in that the audience sat and listened to us ( I have sung in bars where there is a constant background noise of murmuring voices and coffee machines etc , which can be very off - putting ) . But the seating was informal in that everyone sat on sofas , window seats , stools and even the hearth around the fire , as you can see better in this panoramic photo taken by one of the guests . Two thirds of the way down the room , there were two steps which led up to smaller area , also filled with seating for the guests , and David stood on these steps to conduct us as there was no space between us and the front row seats . He is an excellent musical director , and really knows how to get the best out of us . And he is generous with his praise when we do it right . As you can see in this last photo , we have all learned to sing out and not bury our faces in our books , and we all love doing it . His eyes are sharp and he always says there is no room for ' shrinking violets ' . He expects us all to give of our best so we do . The rest of the week was quite tame by comparison until we got to Thursday when were involved in another event . This was quite a different occasion as it was the ' Celebration of Life ' Service for our dear friend Jean . Her daughter and son - in - law are back out here now , and they wanted it to be sooner rather than later , so a group of us got together and had it all organised in no time . It was held in our little church at Llanos del Peral on another hot and sticky afternoon . Chris had arranged the flowers herself and they looked beautiful . There was also a lovely montage of photos on display that Jean 's Grandson had prepared for the funeral . He selected all the photos and sent them to the printer along with poems and messages from immediate family which are the pieces of writing below the pictures . The printer put them all onto this screen which just rolls down into a neat little box at the base so it is easy to transport , and display again . I thought it was really well done . It was all lovely . Our little church was full with over eighty people coming from all around this area . Jean certainly left her mark on everyone she met , and they all loved her . Other than that my time has been spent doing as little as possible . We have had another mini - heatwave and on Monday the thermometer was showing 42º in the shade . ( For those that don 't relate to Cetigrade very well , that is around 107ºF ) . It was an all time high even for here , for September , and I really didn 't enjoy it . We called all the animals in with us and sat in the main room with the air - con on , but I find that kind of heat is very draining and saps all my energy . It didn 't even drop far at night . When we went out with the dogs at 7 . 30 the next morning , the thermometer on the farmacia was already showing 30º and had moved up to 34º by the time we got home , just under an hour later . Since then the temperature has dropped a bit , though not by the ten degrees that were forecast . But it is down to around 25º when we go out in the mornings , and is only rising to the mid - thirties at lunch time . That is still high for September , but we can cope with it , and before long we will be moaning that it is cold when we get up ! So we will enjoy it while we can . Most days it has been too hot to do my crochet , but one day I managed some and as I put the border on a finished square I noticed my ball of ' parchment ' yarn was very small . And I finished my square with just a centimetre of wool to spare . Now that is what I call a happy ending . So today I have ordered some more , and hopefully there will be enough to edge the rest of my squares and do a border round the whole blanket . Another order I made today was rather exciting . I have ordered myself a colour lazer printer . I have been thinking about it for a long time , and I am fed up with buying ink cartridges every few weeks , so I am really looking forward to seeing how I get on with it . I shall still use my inkjet printer for my scrapbook pages because it is a wide - bed printer , and I like to make make my scrapbook pages 12 " x12 " . But for cards etc , I think the lazer will be better . I use my computer more and more in card - making as my silly arms and hands fail to co - operate with my brain sometimes , making too much colouring and gluing difficult . At least on the computer , I can put things right before I print them . It is going to take a week or so to arrive , so that is something to look forward to . A big thank you to those who faithfully read my ramblings week by week . I am grateful for your visits and comments , and I enjoy reading about what makes you smile too . So I will link up with Rocking Your World , and Annie 's Friday Smiles , and visit as many as I can of you lovely people too . I now live permanently in Los Gallardos , a small village in Andalucia , Southern Spain with my husband Chris . It was hard to leave five sons , their partners , and seven grand - children back at home , but we hope they will all come to visit us when they can . The exciting news is that I now have a great - grandson as well . |
I just love this photo of my gorgeous great - grandson . When his mum sent it to me , it was titled " It 's time to pick apples again " . One of the real joys of Autumn . I am pretty sure he is in a tree at his Grandma 's house , and it reminded me of when my three younger boys were little . They loved to climb the tree in their Nan 's garden , to pick the apples too . But first to Saturday , which was windy but warm , and in the afternoon we went down to the seafront in Mojacar for my friend 's eightieth birthday . Joan is elderly and quite frail , but she comes to our craft group every Wednesday morning , and still does lovely knitting . She enjoys seeing her friends there as she doesn 't get out a lot these days . A couple of weeks ago she was really happy when she told us that it was almost her eightieth birthday ( we all knew really ) , and her daughter was arranging an afternoon tea - party for her and her friends . " She couldn 't have picked anything better for me " was what she said . It was held at a fairly new café / restaurant along the playa , run by an English lady who is renowned for making lovely cakes . Joan is still a deacon at the Evangelical church in Turre so a lot of her church friends were there , as well as her crafting friends , and of course , her family . We filled the area outside the café , and even the Chinese people from the bazaar next - door , kept popping in and out to see what was going on . This is just a few of the guests enjoying the lovely buffet that was provided . Then Joan 's daughter brought out a big cake with candles shaped like the number 80 . Joan stood in the middle enjoying all the fuss and attention . On the way home I dropped Chris off at a bar in Turre where he had arranged to meet a friend to watch football , but he was home again by mid - evening and we decided to walk around to our local bar for a quick drink . I said I wanted to be home to watch Casualty . I have watched it almost from its first episode , and I rarely miss it , but by the time we had had a brandy apiece , I knew I 'd be calling on i - player to see this week 's part ! It was a mild evening , and it was very pleasant to sit and chat , and watch the stars that were so bright that night . As we were emptying our glasses ready to leave , a friend turned up , so of course one thing led to another , and it was mid - night by the time we left . He had a Spanish friend with him , so I spent the rest of the evening practising my Spanish on him , and trying hard to understand what he said to me . He was very patient with me , and we managed very well . When we got home it did rain a little , but not enough to do any good . It was just enough to leave a fine layer of red dust on the outside table and chairs , and all the window sills ! ' Dirty rain ' is something we have had to get used to out here . We were hoping Tuesday would stay dry because it was the funeral of a good friend from the village . And it obliged us by staying dry all day . The service was held in the village Catholic church , but it was led by a Church Army officer who takes some of the services at my church . The little church was packed , with people standing at the back , and it was a lovely tribute to a well loved man . Afterwards we all went to a hostal on the edge of Turre for a " celebration of his life " . His wife wanted music , and dancing because that is what he loved . The tables were dressed with pale blue cloths and serviettes - his favourite colour , and there was lots of chatter , laughter and singing . They provided an excellent hot buffet , and all in all , I think we gave him the sort of send - off that he would thoroughly have approved of . I was busy chatting to a photographer friend when I happened to glance out the window . So he quite understood when I said , " Please excuse me for a minute . I have to take a photo of that sky " . I was almost too late , and by the time I had weaved through the crowd to the door , the sun had already sunk lower , but I did get this shot . It is lovely , but it doesn 't really do it justice . My youngest son Ben knows me well . He is a conductor on the trains , and as I was taking the photo above , he e - mailed me one he had just taken from the back of his train , of the sunset in Redditch . It is kind of nice to know we are all one under the same sky . On Wednesday my forecast showed a high chance of rain , and strong winds late afternoon , so I wasn 't looking forward to driving to choir practice . Some parts of the motorway are quite exposed , and I hate driving along it when it is too windy . But it must have been blowing in a different direction from usual , because I bowled along with no trouble . I had my eye on the sun going down , because there were clouds rolling in from all around , so I thought the chance of rain was probably right . But when I arrived at our practice room , the clouds were still broken up enough for the sun to penetrate in places , lighting up the valleys below , and I got this picture which I love . Do click on it for a larger picture which shows up the rays much better . We had an excellent practice . It is good to have our musical director back after a stay in UK , and we whizzed through all our new Christmas music . We have a lot to learn , and not much time to learn it in ! Well what a difference a day makes . On Thursday we woke up to the sound of torrential rain battering the plants and bouncing off the pool . And of course , when it rains heavily like that , it also spouts from all the corners of the roof because we have no guttering . The dogs didn 't get their morning walk and had to make do with runs around the yard each time the rain stopped . We were happy to see some rain at last and even the ground was grateful . You could almost hear it drinking it up , and it rained for long enough for some to sink in . The first lot just rolls off the top , but if it keeps going , some does get absorbed . The little birds got really excited by it , and when it stopped I could hear them singing and chattering all around us . But the timing was not good as we had arranged for a friend who is an electrician , to come that morning to renew all our outside sockets , and fit some extra ones in the porch . He phoned to say he would wait and see how it developed . We thought it was set in for the day , but by the time we had had breakfast and cleared up around the house , the sky looked like this . Brian and Barbara who run the charity I send my knitting for Africa to , are both in their eightieth year , and I knew they were scaling things down , but they had asked me not to say anything until an official letter was released . Well this week I got the official letter , and amongst other things it said that they would stop taking knitted items from the end of November . Panic ! ! I have people knitting for me all over this area , and I have no idea how I am going to get a message to all of them . However it is in the church newsletter this week , and I have told the Wednesday group , and asked people to tell their friends etc . Plus I also knew I had a lot of loose , knitted squares that needed sewing into blankets . Then I learned that my courier friend is also retiring and his last ' official ' trip to UK is mid - October , so now I had even less time to get everything finished off , and collected together . So I spent one day sorting out all my bags and boxes , and making piles of squares for blankets . And everyone has been absolutely wonderful . One friend at church took enough squares to make a whole blanket and said she would crochet the edging too . Another took some small pieces of crochet that needed several more rounds to make them large enough , and she has finished those ready to return to me on Sunday . At the Wednesday group , one lady took home two completed blankets to crochet edgings on them , and others took bags of squares to sew into strips , so next week I will just need to join the strips and do the borders . Meanwhile I have been sorting out all the oddments - both crocheted and knitted pieces of all shapes and sizes , and patchworking them to make a blanket . That is finished and edged . It is a bit odd but it will keep someone warm . So yesterday I spent all day watching the men working out in the porch while I stitched the last squares together , and now that is edged too , so I think I will have everything done and ready for Phil to take across to UK . I can 't begin to describe how grateful I am to everyone who has knitted for me over the past five years . Their generosity in giving time and materials has amazed me . I am looking forward to having a bit more time to work on my own projects , but I shall continue to support the amazing work of Greenfields Africa financially , by making things to sell etc , and for another year or so we will still be supporting the boy we sponsor for his education through the charity . Tango is such a funny cat . He makes himself comfortable just anywhere . Here he is suspended across me and and across a gap to the arm of the chair , completely oblivious to the fact I am trying to turn the blanket around as I work on it . Today I did my monthly food shopping , and while it is warm , I always take a cool bag with ice blocks in it , to ensure I get the fresh milk and any frozen goods , home safely . I always unpack that bag first , and when I had done it today , I left it on the chair in the kitchen , and stopped to make our lunch . The next thing I saw was Tango asleep on the bag , still full of ice blocks , and he stayed there most of the afternoon ! There 's no accounting . . . . Now I will link this with Annie 's Friday Smiles , and Rocking Your World , and leave you with one last sunset . It was taken at our friend 's wake , about ten minutes after the one above . Much of the vivid colour had gone when I went back outside to look , but it was still so beautiful that I had to take another picture ! Like I said - I just can 't help myself ! ! ( I 'm not even going to mention the face ! ) . Well another week has literally flown past . I don 't think I have done anything significant this week , but that in itself is rare , and something to be thankful for . And of course there have still been little moments of joy that deserve to be told . My smile this week is a photo taken on one of our early morning walks , but it isn 't a sun - rise . No it is the moon ! And while speaking of jacarandas , I mentioned a week ago how surprised I was to see flowers on these trees at this time of year . Then they were all on the tops of the trees , but now they are out on the lower branches too and they are even more beautiful when they have a backdrop of the pretty fern - like leaves on these trees . So here is a close up of a bunch that was hanging down at my level . My camera has not actually caught it with a very true colour as they are a more blue - mauve than this , but so pretty . And so to my week . Monday and Tuesday were spent doing some gardening . The front of the house was in urgent need of attention so we spent some time pruning shrubs and dead - heading the flowers . Then I potted up some chrysanthemums and pansies to hopefully give us some colour until the poinsettias arrive for Christmas ! I have optimistically added a few daffodil bulbs to some of the pots too , but I am not holding out for much success with them . People often stop and admire our garden , and comment on the flowers . I guess out here , flowers are almost a luxury item . The Spanish people either use their land for fruit and vegetables , or they have potted palms etc . We have the palms , and everything has to be in pots , but I like to have flowers growing around the base of the larger shrubs . It seems to be a good year for flowering trees because our bird of paradise tree has had a second blooming too . A few weeks ago it was covered with big brown stems of bean pods , but then I notices one new flower bud . Now it is covered in flowers again . In this close - up you can see some of the bean - pods . When I was sweeping up after my gardening session I found the seeds all over the floor . I also rescued a baby tree that had seeded itself . I have put it in a pot , but if it takes off I will have to find someone else who wants it . I have no - where I can plant it to let it grow like the first one has . My last job in the garden was to loosen the soil around the top of the pots and add a few fertiliser pellets . The soil does get exhausted in the pots , and this year the older hibiscus have hardly flowered at all , though the new ones have done well . But within a few days of me feeding them , I had flowers again ! We also have one orange tree that we bought on our thirtieth wedding anniversary , and that has the most fruit I have ever seen on it . But it is a late variety so they still have to hold on through some wind and bad weather , but I am quite hopeful we will have a good yield from it . Last year the citrus fruits were not good , and I struggled to find any bitter oranges to make marmalade , so I am hoping they will be more plentiful this year too . Sunsets have been at an all time low this month . The days have started cloudy but by tea - time the sky has been clear so there is nothing to reflect the rays and give some colour . But one evening when I was feeding the dogs I saw this and thought it was quite interesting . We actually had a small amount of rain later that night . And one evening I managed to take this . If my camera had been anywhere other than on the table in the kitchen , I would have been too late to take it . It certainly didn 't last for long . Last week I scared Annie with a picture of a spider . This week my bug is less scary . We came home from the shops one day and Chris spotted it on the edge of the garage roof . It is of course , a praying mantis . I rather like these , and they are certainly welcome in the garden as they eat a lot of smaller bugs . When I was gardening I found her again on one of the hibiscus plants , on a branch I had just pruned off . So I transferred her onto another plant . I didn 't want her to feel unwelcome ! Firstly I was so very grateful to a group of Spanish girls from my Intercambio group , who helped me with the translation for a flower festival information sheet . I mentioned last week that this was mostly done , but one girl was a bit uncertain as to the meaning of a part , so this week we met up and went through it together . Now I just have to finish typing up the translation and sending it to the friend who asked for it . I did have a go myself , but now that I have seen the authentic translation I think my Spanish still has a long way to go . I got some bits right , but I need to learn , and more importantly retain , more vocabulary . I was grateful to my son who gave me an online lesson via Skype , on how to add all the accents that are so important in Spanish as they can completely alter the meaning of a word . Until recently I have used an English keyboard on my PC and on my wall I have a list of number codes that add accents as needed , but now I have a Spanish keyboard , and it is actually so much easier , ONCE YOU KNOW ABOUT IT ! So typing up my document will be a lot quicker now . Of course it was exciting when my new printer arrived , especially as it came a day earlier than expected . We soon had it set up , and I am pleased with the things I have printed so far . printing the news letter for church should be a lot quicker and easier this week . I was grateful to Chris who suggested lunch out today , and we had the best fish and chips we have had since we came here . We had been told of this venue before , but we went on a Thursday and found they didn 't cook meals at lunch time , which is when we prefer to eat our main meal . But recently someone told us that they just do fish and chips as a special meal on Fridays . There was a good crowd there , and it was worth it . I can see us going there again . I am not a huge fan of fish but I know it is good for us so I try to serve it once a week . But Chris really enjoys white fish and if someone else is cooking it , that is fine by me ! I have managed to do some more of my blanket as the weather has been a little cooler , and I can see me sitting outside to do some in the afternoons now , like I did in the Spring . I love this time of year , when it is comfortably warm outside , but not too hot . But Chris fished the thermometer out of the pool and the water temperature has dropped to 22º , so I don 't think I 'll be doing much more swimming this year . That is the borderline temperature for me to start using it in the Spring , so I guess it is also the line to stop using it now . I have had two little parcels this week with some small items of craft materials in , so I am looking froward to using those . One was some new sparkly ink brush pens , and they are lovely bright colours and dry with a real sparkle . They will work well on some of my greetings cards . So now I will end with another couple of skies . You have seen the sunsets so here are two more sunrises . We do seem to be getting more colour in the sky in the mornings than in the evenings at the minute . You know what they say about red sky in the morning . . . . Our forecast is promising some rain and high winds for next week , though it is staying nice and warm , so we shall have to wait and see . But this morning the sky was a dull silver with no colour , and I had actually put my phone in my bag in case there was a nice sunrise ! But as we got to the front of the village and were walking up the slip road , I glanced behind me and from no - where this had appeared . So I got my photo after all . I like the silhouette of the tall pine tree against it . ( Shame about the lamp posts ! ) . Hi everyone . My smile today is the dress that I wore to my sewing group on Wednesday . I am sure some of you are wondering why a dress should make me smile , but I love sunflowers , and when I saw this dress , it was love at first sight . The surprising thing is that I bought it around thirty years ago ! It was from a stall in Wembley market , when it was in the old stadium every week . I had a baby in a pushchair and a little boy in tow , which is how I know it was thirty years ago ! We had little money to spare in those days , but Chris let me buy it and I got teased mercilessly when I wore it . As you can see , it is just a little straight shift - probably even more shapeless now than when it was new , and I guess it was brighter and bolder than most young mums were wearing at the time . I always remember one day when I had already had it for a good few years , and my second son was running a little bar ; he was in the habit of wearing rather garish tropical print shirts and had obviously been taking some stick for the one he had on that day , when we walked into the bar to see him . I was wearing my sunflower dress , and as we went in , everyone burst out laughing . Then someone said , " We know where you get it from now Mike ! " . I reckon that dress could tell some stories . It went on several holidays to Spain when our three younger boys were small , and I have worn it every summer since . It has needed a few repairs , and the material is now very thin , but I still love it . And now when I wear it everyone else loves it too . They come up and say , " Oh Kate , I love that dress . Where is it from ? Did you buy it out here ? " . I just smile and say " It was from a little market stall in Wembley some thirty years ago " . I will be really sad when it finally falls apart , but I reckon it has got a few summers left in it yet . And I will always smile each time I lift it out of the wardrobe . Well I am still wearing summer dresses , but there is a definite feel of Autumn in the air this week . It is a few degrees cooler all day , and a lot cooler at night , which in itself is something to be grateful for ! However , Monday was very unpleasant because we had the Levante wind , and it was very strong . So strong in fact , that I didn 't go outside for fear of being blown off my feet . It was quite frightening with the noise of doors and windows banging , shutters rattling and debris flying everywhere . It was a hot wind , and very dusty , so the next day every surface was covered in a film of reddish dust , and the ground was covered in leaves and other garden rubbish . Here is just one corner of our pool that had been clean and sparkling just the day before . But mostly it is cleared up now , though the front yard still needs some attention . We have been concentrating on the strip at the side of the house where Chris was pruning the bougainvillea . Each day he did a little bit more , and then we decided to cut it right back to get rid of the old wood in the centre of it . It was hard work for him , but we got there in the end . In the photo you can see a couple of pieces of the main stem that were embedded on the fence , so we cut around them , but after the rest was finished we worked on them until we got them free . It looks a bit sad now but my kitchen is so much brighter , and we know it will all grow again next year . It has opened up our view of the house next door , but as the owner is only there for a couple of weeks each year , this really doesn 't matter . We now have a huge pile of branches to chip but it will take a while as neither of us can do that sort of work for too long at a time . Also bougainvillea grows with lots of small branches growing out from each larger one , and these all have to be cut off before they can be fed into the shredder . But we had a good session on it on Tuesday , and if we do a little bit more each week , we will get rid of all of it in the end . I gave poor Annie a fright when I posted this photo on Facebook this week , but I did warn her that it would be showing up here as well , so she was forewarned for today . This rather splendid fellow turned up on Sunday , in the middle of a big web hung between the branches of the bougainvillea , so Chris was lucky I spotted it before he lopped off the last branches . I looked it up on the internet and it is a banded agiope spider , and I learned that although its bite is nasty - similar to a strong bee sting - it is not lethal , so that was good to know . I am no lover of spiders , and I really don 't like them on me , but I can still marvel at the design of the creator who made him . His stripes were amazing and even continued to the end of each of his long legs . He was still there when we finished the pruning on Tuesday so I gently cut his web and lowered him to the ground so he could move away and find somewhere else to make his home . His web was stronger than any I have felt before , and he was a big fellow - around 2 ½ to 3 inches from ' tip to toe ' . ( I actually read that the male is much smaller than the female so probably this was a Mrs not a Mr . ) On Wednesday our car was due its itv ( M . O . T . for our friends in UK ) , and normally we have it fully serviced the week before this . Unfortunately our mechanic friend who always does this , went off for two weeks holiday so he was unable to do it until Tuesday , the day before its test . He lives , and has his workshop , on the campo beyond the urbanisation of Huerta Nueva , across the road from our village . It is quite a walk back for Chris when he takes the car over there , so I suggested we drove over early with the dogs and walked them back , rather than going out with them first . They got very excited as we loaded them into the car , and by 8 . 00 we were making our way back home with them . It was so peaceful around Andy 's house and the rising sun made a misty haze over the olive trees . There wasn 't another soul around . Usually we take the car for its test ourselves . It is a drive through system here and we have done it several times now so we know what to expect , but the best test centre is over at Lorca , a good 45 minutes drive from here , and it was going to be difficult fitting it in between my sewing group in the morning and choir practice in the evening , so we were very grateful to Andy who got the service done in good time and took it over for the test for us before we got it back on Tuesday night . We were also grateful that it passed well and didn 't need any expensive work done on it . I thought our intercambio group might start back this week , but everyone was busy so we are going to try again next week . I was a bit disappointed as I had a document that I had promised a friend I would try to get translated from English to Spanish for her , and I was hoping some of the Spanish girls who come to the group might help me . So I sent out a message and straight away three people offered to help , so now most of it is done . I am grateful to have friends so willing to help . The morning have been lovely this week . With a few clouds always being present , the sun has risen gently and lit up the sky beautifully . I 'll save the best for the end of this post , but here is one I took yesterday as we were walking up the slip road at the front of our village . There were some white puffy clouds ahead that turned a lovely golden yellow . Here they are up through the jacaranda trees that line the slip road . It must be something to do with the weather this year , because as you can see , there are some lovely lilac blossoms on the top of the tree . Normally these bloom in the Spring before there are any leaves on the trees , so it is really strange to see both leaves and flowers together . The reason the clouds turned yellow can be seen if I turn right round and look down the road . The sun had just broken through . Isn 't it lovely ? ! Inside was the usual lovely white organza bag containing lots of pretty colours of wool . This time I did buy one of each of the two - coloured yarns that they do . I still don 't like them as much as the plain colours but I saw something on the internet that was made using one and it was really nice , so I thought I might as well have one of each in my stash . More importantly I now have three more balls of the parchment yarn that I need to do the borders on all my blanket squares . While I was waiting for this to arrive I made another small square - I liked the way this one turned out , and I also did the second of the much larger squares . Now these can both have their borders done . Then I am almost half way though the blanket . I need to make one more of each motif and start fitting them together . I have also done some more mystical lantern motifs for my shawl . I am half - way through this as well . It is a good project to have handy when I am watching TV or talking to someone , as they are easy motifs to make and don 't require too much concentration . I started joining the chains of lanterns together this week , so I can see what I need next . I quite like the way the random colours are working out . And finally here are the photos of the truly splendid sunrise we had on Monday morning . I woke up to a rosy glow in the bedroom and leaping up , I threw on a cotton kaftan ( don 't want to scare the neighbours ! ) and grabbed my camera as I rushed out the front door . I know how quickly these skies can change and I didn 't want to miss it . The whole sky was a fiery orange . The cloud was breaking up , and the sun was breaking through . We continued down to the front of the village and up along the slip road . By now the sun was winning over the clouds , and the sky was getting lighter . Then we turned up and walked along the side of the village up to the top , and back home down through the main street . The next time we had a clear view of the sky , the sun was out . So this was my final shot . The reason I am so late posting tonight is because I have just chatted to my sister for over an hour on Skype . That is something else I am grateful for . Skype has helped me keep in touch since we moved over here , and it is great to be able see people when I am talking to them . It is almost like being in a room with them . This blog is all about being positive . On her blog at Celtic House , Virginia encourages us to look for the silver linings , to find the things we can be grateful for , and then somehow the low points of our week don 't seem so bad . I have had another lovely week , but rather than highlight one little part of it , I thought I would post this list that I saw on Facebook a while ago , that is really the essence of what we are aiming for in our weekly blog posts . So I hope you can agree with most of the items on this list today . The house was truly amazing . It was set at the very top of a mountain on the edge of Mojacar . It was only accessible by a single lane dirt track , that hugged the edge of the mountain , so we ( choir and guests ) had to park our cars at the bottom and be shuttled up in a convoy of six cars , that travelled together and went up and down many times until everyone was up there . The concert itself was a huge success . There were about sixty guests as well as a team of workers from the charity , and they were all very generous with their praise , including giving us a standing ovation at the end . We had very little space to actually stand in . At the end of the room there were three steps leading up to a bar , that had the garage behind it . A curtain was hung across this and we stood in front of it , making use of the steps to ensure everyone had a good view of our musical director , David . When we had planned our ' arrangement ' at last week 's practice , we were told we each had the space of one floor tile to stand on ! In fact it was not quite as cramped as that , but I am not good in small spaces , so I was glad I was on the end of the front row , so I could step down onto floor level , and feel relatively free . Even David said he thought it was the best concert we had ever done . We liked the fairly informal arrangement . It was formal enough to be like a theatre performance in that the audience sat and listened to us ( I have sung in bars where there is a constant background noise of murmuring voices and coffee machines etc , which can be very off - putting ) . But the seating was informal in that everyone sat on sofas , window seats , stools and even the hearth around the fire , as you can see better in this panoramic photo taken by one of the guests . Two thirds of the way down the room , there were two steps which led up to smaller area , also filled with seating for the guests , and David stood on these steps to conduct us as there was no space between us and the front row seats . He is an excellent musical director , and really knows how to get the best out of us . And he is generous with his praise when we do it right . As you can see in this last photo , we have all learned to sing out and not bury our faces in our books , and we all love doing it . His eyes are sharp and he always says there is no room for ' shrinking violets ' . He expects us all to give of our best so we do . The rest of the week was quite tame by comparison until we got to Thursday when were involved in another event . This was quite a different occasion as it was the ' Celebration of Life ' Service for our dear friend Jean . Her daughter and son - in - law are back out here now , and they wanted it to be sooner rather than later , so a group of us got together and had it all organised in no time . It was held in our little church at Llanos del Peral on another hot and sticky afternoon . Chris had arranged the flowers herself and they looked beautiful . There was also a lovely montage of photos on display that Jean 's Grandson had prepared for the funeral . He selected all the photos and sent them to the printer along with poems and messages from immediate family which are the pieces of writing below the pictures . The printer put them all onto this screen which just rolls down into a neat little box at the base so it is easy to transport , and display again . I thought it was really well done . It was all lovely . Our little church was full with over eighty people coming from all around this area . Jean certainly left her mark on everyone she met , and they all loved her . Other than that my time has been spent doing as little as possible . We have had another mini - heatwave and on Monday the thermometer was showing 42º in the shade . ( For those that don 't relate to Cetigrade very well , that is around 107ºF ) . It was an all time high even for here , for September , and I really didn 't enjoy it . We called all the animals in with us and sat in the main room with the air - con on , but I find that kind of heat is very draining and saps all my energy . It didn 't even drop far at night . When we went out with the dogs at 7 . 30 the next morning , the thermometer on the farmacia was already showing 30º and had moved up to 34º by the time we got home , just under an hour later . Since then the temperature has dropped a bit , though not by the ten degrees that were forecast . But it is down to around 25º when we go out in the mornings , and is only rising to the mid - thirties at lunch time . That is still high for September , but we can cope with it , and before long we will be moaning that it is cold when we get up ! So we will enjoy it while we can . Most days it has been too hot to do my crochet , but one day I managed some and as I put the border on a finished square I noticed my ball of ' parchment ' yarn was very small . And I finished my square with just a centimetre of wool to spare . Now that is what I call a happy ending . So today I have ordered some more , and hopefully there will be enough to edge the rest of my squares and do a border round the whole blanket . Another order I made today was rather exciting . I have ordered myself a colour lazer printer . I have been thinking about it for a long time , and I am fed up with buying ink cartridges every few weeks , so I am really looking forward to seeing how I get on with it . I shall still use my inkjet printer for my scrapbook pages because it is a wide - bed printer , and I like to make make my scrapbook pages 12 " x12 " . But for cards etc , I think the lazer will be better . I use my computer more and more in card - making as my silly arms and hands fail to co - operate with my brain sometimes , making too much colouring and gluing difficult . At least on the computer , I can put things right before I print them . It is going to take a week or so to arrive , so that is something to look forward to . A big thank you to those who faithfully read my ramblings week by week . I am grateful for your visits and comments , and I enjoy reading about what makes you smile too . So I will link up with Rocking Your World , and Annie 's Friday Smiles , and visit as many as I can of you lovely people too . I now live permanently in Los Gallardos , a small village in Andalucia , Southern Spain with my husband Chris . It was hard to leave five sons , their partners , and seven grand - children back at home , but we hope they will all come to visit us when they can . The exciting news is that I now have a great - grandson as well . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
JavaScript is currently disabled . Obsidian Portal has a lot of really cool features that use JavaScript . You should check them out . We think you 'll have a much more enjoyable experience . - No , I am sure Gwen ! I wouldn 't forget a man like that . Tall , tan , dark , handsome . His face is a bit of a blur to be honest . But I won 't forget his piercing gaze , dashing looks and … what he did that night . He presented himself as Esteban Nostra , businessman and trader . I did not hear much from him . He arrived in Myrsa looking for a Guarantor for himself and found one outside the Pendrach . I spoke with the clerk from the Guarantor 's office and his papers were solid , just as his description of the Cojan Company , the mining trade group he worked for . - I am not . But I believe what I saw and heard . I was at the Pendrach 's party with Sally , Margaret and Lian and I set eyes on him . He was a charmer , a looker and , by the Gods , that accent was to die for . I could 've spent my entire evening listening to him speak , so much I wasn 't really listening to what he had to say or ask . I just wanted to hear him speak . - Shut up Jen . He moved on , but I kept tabs on him during the evening . I heard he was looking for a guarantor to vouch for the Cojan Company , which he represented . I heard him say it was a metal and metal byproducts trading company which operated in the south . They must be pretty secretive because I found no trace of them in Myrsa . Anyways . He had meetings with executives from the five pendrachs and was all courteous and polite . But I managed to eavesdrop on one of those meetings . He looked pretty content when one of the executives spilled the beans about Lady Carsas and her daddy 's mother - hen attitude . He did seem very interested in her later on in the evening . Not that it didn 't cross me … but Lady Carsas is a very fair lady , and a prize to take according to men . So I was not surprised to see him compete with the other men . He was very blunt with her , but managed to stand out , which brought the attention of her bodyguard . She walked away for some time , during which Esteban walked and talked . Word that the guarantors were arriving got out and most of the crowd went away . Lady Carsas came back and had a chat with him . More than anybody could expect out of miss perfection . He was good at it . He kissed her on the hand before heading out to witness the arrival of the Pendrachs . He looked them over but he didn 't seem so desperate as to seek audience with them directly . Though he was trying to get to know them . Like he was investigating something . I can 't really say since the whole time , he kept his hat on . Quite the dashing hat , if I may say so . He then headed to talk with a man I hadn 't noticed yet . A young trader , modestly dressed . He was standing away from the others , seemingly focused and at attention . Unlike any proper dinner guest should look like . Esteban went to meet and greet , but it seemed tense . There was something wrong with all of it . The Pendrachs walked in the manor and the young merchant followed them . Esteban followed the young merchant . It is then that the incredible happened . Everybody had gathered around the local celebrities and town rulers . The young merchant though was manoeuvering his way through the crowd , heading for the Pendrachs . Esteban had noticed something and matched his pace . I saw it too : the young merchant had a blade hidden behind his back . They began tackling their way through the dense crowd , but the assassin was one step ahead and broke out of the crowd before Esteban , ready to strike his blade down on the Pendrachs . Esteban , beautiful Esteban , jumped with catlike grace above the crowd and onto people 's shoulders , I am not lying ! He stepped on the serving platter of one of the servants and onto the crystal glass of one of the guests ! And it didn 't even budge ! As if no one even felt he was there ! He lept up in the air and fell down on the assassin , disarming him , locking him on the ground . It was such a scene . Zain : So , I was stuck in jail for almost two days before everything got worst . I tried talking with Derick , but between that and speaking to a wall , there wouldn 't be much of a difference . A women entered . They seemed like they knew each other quite well . We pretended to sleep , and she talked to him . She saw through his little subterfuge but he still wouldn 't move . She left saying that it would be the last time they spoke to each other . When he woke up , I tried getting to know who she was . I made a bad joke … And I probably shouldn 't have … He mumbled something when I asked again who the woman was . I couldn 't quite hear it , but … Maybe I understood , but it makes no sense . How would he know … ? And why would she … ? Zain : Derick had a plan . He always has . He pulled a saw or something from his heel and cut one of the bars and then with spoons we … I don 't think you need all the specifics , that was pretty jackass though . So , since there was a big party , there weren 't much guards left in the dungeons . The one sleeping guard was not even a slight challenge . We got our gear back and devised a plan to exit through the sewers . We also hoped to find our friend Djenna . You probably saw her too . White haired girl . Zain : My other friend was still in jail and in bad shape . He needed some help that we couldn 't give him . Figured Djenna would find a way to get him out of here safe and sound . In the meanwhile , me and Derick got lost in the sewers but eventually found Djenna and sent her to help our other friend . I kept on trying to convince the old man to talk but he never would open his damned mouth about it . Then we found this place , full of weird cocoon filled with some kind of virus . Nothing you want to see in the water of your sewers I swear . We started taking them off carefully so it wouldn 't spill and we kept on fighting each other over whether or not he should talk about him and that woman . He got mad at me , saying I wasn 't old enough , that I wasn 't ready . What am I not ready for anyway ? ! Not like it really concerns me … unless it does . But I can take whatever he has in store for me . He says I 'm a kid ? How many kid fell from the sky , built a city and fought with behemoths ? ! Zain : Alright , well , thank you little one . Here , have some cheese , like I promised . I was keeping it in case we were stuck here longer than planned but you deserved it . Zain : I guess we just have a knack for getting in troubles way bigger than us . We started by giving a ride to a new friend of ours . See , we were headed for Merza , but we stumbled on him and gave him lift . We have our own airship now too by the way ! Zain : We went on our way to Merza after that and Fosco With my help made it all the way there . We stopped to rest a bit as the night had fallen and something seemed to cause problems to one of the thrusters of the ship . Me and Fosco went out to investigate and we found a hat with a message . " Beware the pendrachs " or something like that . We didn 't have much time to think about it as we were attacked by lizardmen . I was wounded and retreated inside . Fosco gave them a good roughing up right before I use our thrusters to burn these monsters . Zain : By the next day , we made it to Merza . A kind fisherman allowed us to embark on his boat to enter the city . Really , this whole place is really impressive ; it 's nothing like anything I 've seen before , let alone something down in the Wyld . I thought it would be nothing but small villages and ruins but this , this is something else . As we set foot in the city though , we felt like the odd men out , dressed like strangers . We all split to do our things and investigate . Zain : Well , some merchant told us we needed a permit for trade around here . We also had wind of something fishy going on here with the guarantors . Honestly , seems like there is something fishy going on or we wouldn 't be in jail . Zain : Yeah . Fosco had a meeting planned with someone he saw in a dream so we let him do his business . Kaelach decided to work at the docks to earn us a bit of money and I went to explore the city a little . Can 't find information if I don 't walk around a bit . Zain : And I did find what I was looking for . Two guards were talking . There were saying things about the Pendrachs but I couldn 't hear it all . Though , I heard that the Pendrachs had a bounty on our head . Two thousands dinars I think . They came to see me but I managed to hide my face with my hat a bit and they didn 't recognize me . I don 't stand out that much in a crowd . Zain : Exactly the reason why I 'm here . I searched for them to tell them we had a bounty . When I went to Kaelach , we were able to hide him from the guards when they spotted us . Then , when I went to talk to Fosco and this is when it turned sour . Bocky blew our cover and the guards gave us chase . Me and Fosco split ways again to outrun them . It wasn 't easy but we made it . Well , I made it , I didn 't see Fosco ever since . Honestly though , it would take more than that to catch him . Derick : That rascal is worth and entire crew alone . Ol ' Deringer isn 't worried either . He 's not here with us after all . But , ye made it out of the guards chase , how 'd you make it in these cozy cells ? Zain : I met back with Kaelach , went to a bar with him and his new found friends . When we left the establishment , guards were surrounding us . We tried getting some info from them but there was nothing new to know except that we were accused of conspiracy . Nothing new to us there , it 's becoming a habit . We followed the guards . We 're supposed to have a trial or something anyway , so we can surely find something about what 's going on this way . I just hope Fosco stays safe . Derick : Oh , nothing , just an ol ' sailor talkin to himself . That 's what happen when I sober up too much . So kids , what 's the plan ? You 'll wait till they come to get you ? You were already falsely accused of conspiracy , so you might as well falsely be condemned for it . That 's just how it works ' round these parts . We breaking out or what ? Zain : When the time comes we will leave . For now let 's wait for news of the Pendrachs . It 'll take more than iron bars to stop us ! Zain : We actually didn 't really look for you or anything . We needed some rest and just stumbled across . And , we 're not dei - … Zain : Either that or because Kaelach just didn 't want to let go and kept searching the village . Whichever floats you boat I guess . You really should thank him for looking so long in the village because when we first made it there , it looked more than empty . Luckily he had this map and it looked like our position was a location of interest , so there must have had sonething interesting . Zain : I have no doubt about it . They were pretty ingenious as well because your " coffin " was pretty hard to access . Even I couldn 't repair it after all . Zain : I 'm no king of divine machinery , hold your horses there ! I 'd probably be more like the god of the friendzone . Anyway it 's not me that opened it . Kaelach opened it by force . There was nothing much left afterwards . Zain : right after we kicked your ass because you were not entirely normal after your long sleep . Anyway , we were able to figure out how to use your technology . We should get moving now , if you want to acconplish your " test " we have for you . Zain : Well , all in all , it was a nice trip . Thank you Djenna , I really enjoyed it . I think the boys had a bit of a harder time following on the way there though . Zain : Lame ? That was the non suicidal way . I thought Fosco had his load of falling down impossible height but I guess I was mistaken . You know what was really lame though ? Losing to Fosco and Kaelach in the boat race . Djenna : Don 't get me started on that one , it was totally your fault . Anyway , what did you guys do once we got to the village ? I kinda lost sight of you there . Zain : We waited at the city square but there were no one - like you probably knew anyway - . When we realized that the tea was still hot , we thought something must have been odd . The animals were acting strange too . So we tried to find which animal was an animal and which one was something more . Things got out of hands and … you know the rest anyway . Zain : Because they do this often ? Peeing on people ? A - anyway , at least they had the kindness to give me clean clothe . I couldn 't thank the shopkeeper enough for this . After that , the day was nice and quiet - For the others I mean - . Fosco got to chit chat with the elders . Funny thing , I thought he would get along better with the younger ones . Kaelach was hanging arround the tougher , younger people too . I think he wasn 't exactly feeling at his place either . They should 've switched places . I played with the kids for the whole afternoon . It was fun , but your kind play harder than I could imagine . It stopped being funny when they attached me and said they were going to cook me . At least their parents stopped them ! Djenna : Well , they really did like you . I think you 're too meager for my taste . There wouldn 't be enough meat to eat . Zain : I … I 'll just pretend I did NOT just hear that . Are your meeting with the guardians always that long ? I mean , passing every single one of you with that many details felt … maybe unnecessary ? Fosco and Kaelach did well talking about the seventh isle . I wouldn 't have tried to stand up in front of the elders myself like that . I mean , they told me to straighten up my back and to raise my head all day long . They 've been on my back all the time I was there too . At least , after the first part of the meeting we went off to play some drinking games with Fosco . Kaelach did a noble sacrifice staying behind , but he should 've left me there and went drinking with you … Zain : I know , it 's just that he 's always doing the hard and boring stuff . He should let us do some actual things every once in a while . Even here at Haven I don 't get to do much . Fosco does the paperwork , Kaelach does the muscle jobs and I kinda just fumble arround . Not that I mind having lots of free time , I think it 's unfair for them . That and well , he clearly has a thing for … Djenna : Hard work . He totally has a thing for hard work . Always give his 110 % doesn 't he ? Zain , stop playing the poor little kid . Get out there and try to help them instead of talking about it . Alright , sweetheart ? The three companions were on top of the town hall , sharing a moment of peace like they hadn 't in a while now . A glass of beer in their hands , their silence was meaningful , quiet . The party for the shipment was on . The lights were bright , the children were playing and the parents were slowly gathering their kids to put them to bed so that the real party might begin . The fire was ready to be lit as well . Zain : Hey guys , I 'm not sure you realize this , but , all this is crazy isn 't it ? I mean , a little over a year ago , we were total strangers , exiled from our homeland . We were little more than lost souls down here . Look at what we 've done . A city , isn 't this insane ? We gathered people from around creation for this . At first I thought this was all too crazy , but I guess that there are crazy enough people to follow this idea . Maybe it 's just me but , we 've been through a lot in the last year haven 't we ? We built this nice little haven and we still found time to get in crazy adventures ! Anyway , on my end for sure . I 've traveled for months just to find a few crystals and materials for … projects . I had to dive in deep waters with strange people . Apneans if I recall . They were really nice folk , but definitely , diving isn 't for me . I 'm more a sky person . Zain : Ok , ok , I 'm sorry there Fosco . So what have you been up to Fosco ? I 'm certainly not the only one to do crazy stuff in my free time . Zain : Oh , Pazuzu , I 'm really glad you 're back with me ! So much has happened since we were thrown off the islands . We 've met new people , seen new places ; I really wish you were there with me to see all of this . Where should I begin ? I all started when we woke up , alive and " well " down below and met a man we would come to call Omen … Zain : … So we were in Jadewisp for , say , one week , just enough for Fosco to recover from his " sunburns " . After that week , things started to move again . The people of Jadewisp started going to see Fosco , calling him " The survivor " . They wanted to touch him , get his blessing . I mean , he only BARELY survived , I wouldn 't pray to that . Anyway , later , Ancient brought us to " the seers " , two strange people . They were " no longer fae " according to them . In any case , they would help us mine the strange ore the sword was made out of . Derrick caused a ruckus with his wine , and , in a weird turn of event , I ended up riding an army of pigs … Zain : Not even , I swear ! At least I 've made a friend . His name is Buck , Buck the piglet . Anyway so , we went at the MS Destroyer with the airship . We let Kaelach go first . I regretted this decision very fast , as the sword busted into flames . We barely avoided the blast , thanks to the seers and their powers . I hurried down there as fast as possible to find Kaelach badly burnt . He wasn 't as burnt as Fosco was , but still , it 's the kind of wound that takes a while to heal , except for Kaelach . I stayed down while the seers were mining the golden ore . When they were done with what they could , I let them climb up and when I grabbed on to the ladder , the winds changed . Omen appeared right next to me . He thanked us for what we had just done . I tried bashing him with a chunk of ore without much success , so I grabbed him , hoping Kaelach would fire the giant ballista on him while he couldn 't move . Zain : It was a crazy plan , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do ! Oh god , that sounded like Derrick … Anyhow , we went back to Jadewisp after Omen vanished on his own , where the seers crafted us tools to battle out foe . They still needed some time before being ready , so we had to wait until the proper time to use them . It wasn 't long before we sailed off from Jadewisp with the seers . They knew a way through the storm . Derrick was at the wheel , and the instructions of the seers were … Even for my standards … bad . 10 minutes to the right ? What was that ? What matters is that , we made it out safe and sound . Zain : Don 't say that about Derrick , he 's … good at what he does . He dropped us at the bottom of Mount Megatelapa . He said he wouldn 't go any higher , that it was too dangerous . We parted with him . He shook hands with Kaelach and Fosco and bid them farewell . When he got to me , he seemed uneasy . I told him he could just shake my hand and go , he didn 't have to say anything , not like our relationship was very good . At that moment , he took me in his arms , hugged me , and told me to be safe . At first I was stunned by this sudden display . He quickly embarked on his ship and left afterwards . However , something crossed my mind … He 's an El - Mhuri , adventurer , he has some kind of amnesia … maybe he could be … Pazuzu : No Zain , he isn 't . That man died long ago and you know it . Don 't hope for him to come back because he won 't . Even though there are no proofs of his death , don 't you think that if he had a ship , he would 've come back for you ? Zain : I should 've asked him before he left , but I didn 't have the courage … Anyway , we were able to access the city after we climbed the mountain . The city was incredible , build vertically in such a way that only birds could travel in it . They had all sort of birds , breeds I had never seen before . There was even a giant one , but it had blue feather on it 's torso which is usually more characteristic of the western birds , though it clearly came from the southernmost regions since it had … Zain : Yes , so we had an appointment with the king , though he wouldn 't let us have birds since behemoths started attacking the village more and more . Just to prove his point , 3 behemoths were sighted , and the troops were sent out . We all decided to follow to help . I went on the frontline on a warhawk . Fosco stayed behind to lead the defenses and the ballista while Kaelach took care of evacuating the city . I was able to maneuver above the giant Killbat behemoth , so when I was high enough , I droped down the bird to jump on the bat . Zain : I call that dedication . Anyway , in my fall I revealed the package they had made me , the weapon against my foe . I didn 't know what it would be , but I needed something right about now . Honestly , it wasn 't what I hoped for . I was thinking that a sword would do well to slash its wing and send it falling down . A pair of boots though … well I went with the flow . I put them on and jumped on its wing to throw it off balance . It 's around that moment I called you out . Pazuzu : You really do have a death wish . You 're lucky that the isles weren 't too far and that I had the time to make it BEFORE you got crushed on the ground . At least your friend Fosco didn 't try to kill himself with freefalls . I 'll give you that though , you fought valiantly . Your friends impressed me as well . Fosco was fierce against that giant ape thing . Kaelach showed great courage as well by venturing in the ape 's head . You sure know how to make good friends . The three of you really taught the behemoth who was the boss around here . Let 's not forget the seers either ; they were more than useful with the ballista and all that oil dropping . Pazuzu : What is with you and Fosco ? Every time you talk about him , you do a little comment like that . From what I have seen of him , he 's a great person . Zain : He 's … ugh … He 's so strong , determined , free spirited ! He 's so better than me at everything it 's annoying … He is everything I ever hoped to be and it 's so natural to him ! - No . That 's kinda why … why you 're my buddy . My drinking buddy . My sailing buddy to . The other two couldn 't tell the difference between starboard and port even if I told them ! - Yeah . You and I rocked the calm winds and all , but I think we would 've just crashed when we arrived in the storm . You remember ? Big dark clouds forming up above us and suddenly , the wall of rain hitting us . Us four running left and right , jumping on the deck from station to station , manning a thirty man ship . We did good job for quite a while . Up and until those … things showed up . If those weren 't Behemoths , I don 't know what is . Heck , even the Wine might be . We really thought we lost you after the crash , but you turned out to be tough as nails . - Don 't scare me like that boy ! Behemoth wine ? ! But after the crash and before I rescued you from that burrowing weapon of yours , what did you do ? - Bah , walking . Mostly in plains , eventually in some sort of boring desert . Not much … until that burrowing machine came out of the ground . Gobbled Kaelach and Zain instantly . I stabbed it with my sword , but it broke it off . Still , I ripped something out , so I assume it didn 't do it any good . They did make it out of the creature , though wounded and bruised . We ran . Each in their own direction . In the middle of a crater , where the creature was attacking us , there was a crashed … something . Like a high tech airship . Stuck in the airship was a big ass fiery sword , that you saw . - Still . I dashed for the ship . Thinking " heck , if we came here to get weapons , maybe we 'll be able to use those weapons against the Burrower ! " Turns out I was kinda wrong . The heat in there was intense . Not spontaneous - combustion intense but taking - a - stroll - in - the - desert intense . I looked around on my own , without finding anyting , then my friends arrived to help . We found a hatch to the engineering bay in which was some thingamajig , which we managed to get working . It was a talking machine , a bit like something we have back home . - I shit you not . We talked a bit with it . Turns out it held some of the crew logs . The rest required a password . Not that it matters anymore , but hey . We found a secret hatch but could not open it . After trying some things , Kaelach managed to move the big sword by moving it down in the ground , melting part of the hatch because of the heat . Important thing is : we managed to open the damned thing … with the exception of a minor setback . While trying , without much success , I got frustrated and did a prayer to the Sun . The Almighty or whatever . I prayed to him , showing my worth by saying that I am not afraid of him , challenging him . I thought : If he 's so cool , he 'll appreciate cool . He didn 't . Long period of silence during which I puched the sword . It was somewhat made of metal , but I managed to break off a small chunk of it . After some time , I got a reply . In reply to my prayer , I got these burn marks … I didn 't appreciate the moment let 's say … I woke up later in the engineering bay , still cool . They guys managed to open the hatch and grab what was inside . You arrived shortly after on your new and … improved … ship and took us in this underground city . That 's mostly it . - Hey , Zain . I 'm bonding , telling him our tale of … burning swords and absence of loot . Plus , I 'm hurt and Derrick had some wine left . Who do you think I am ? - There ain 't no " I 'm alright " ye can say . The derringer can read yer mind . Shut up and talk already . I need a crew that can look in the horizon , not down on the deck ! What 's happened to ya kiddo ? - Well , you see , Kaelach , Fosco and I have been traveling together for a little while now . A little over a month ago something … bad … happened to the village we were staying in . At first I just couldn 't face the villagers , or either Fosco and Kaelach for that matter , so I ran away . Eventually , Fosco came to get me back , we talked a bit and he convinced me to come back with them , saying he needed me by his side . I followed , but I feel like there are still so much I would have to say to him … Yes , I know , it 's just much easier to say than to apply . Anyway , we got back to the new encampment . Kaelach was really affected by all this . I didn 't hear him say a word in a long time . When the night fell , the guardian , Okomba - I believe you know him , came to see us . He told us that if we wanted to have our vengeance , we needed to come to you to go at the " center " and get " what we needed " . Weapons , most likely , because the one we want to exert our vengeance on isn 't all that ordinary . - On the next morning , we set out to come at Skullbay . The journey was long . A whole month of walking , and Fosco got us lost . At least , Kaelach knew where he was going , though he did not open the mouth one single time . I was worried for him , but no matter what I would say or do , he wouldn 't talk . Fosco tried as well , it was just more … crude and not any more successful . After the month of travel , we were finaly close to Skullbay , but it wasn 't the end of it . While we arrived at the gorge overlooking the city , we found old " friends " of ours . You 've seen them too , you know , these black assassins that overran the city earlier ? Them . They wanted us to see their master . At first we thought it wouldn 't be so bad to avoid a fight . Though , they told us who their master was and we immediately had a burning desire NOT to go . They brought us to a cliff , with a dark portal over the crashing waves . So well , of course we didn 't want to jump off a cliff . They tried to push me , but I retaliated . No way in hell some black weirdos would kill me like that . The black weirdos saw it as an offense and decided to attack . There were too many of them , and on the side of a cliff , there was no way I could dodge . - No of course I didn 't die there , and I should thank Kaelach for that . He jumped in front of me to take the hit in my place . Though there was a lot of noise , I still heard him say two words : " Never again " . At that moment , I knew he was back with us and it eased a burden I felt . So I jumped in the melee and together we fought them . We did well , but at some point more and more were pouring out of the portal . We ran away to hide since we couldn 't beat so many . We went to Skullbay thinking we would be safe . Kaelach did an arm wrestling contest with a buffalo man and won , earning us a bit of money and leading us to you . I believe you know the rest of the story . - After that , those damned patron had no more booze , right ? What kinda place has no more booze anyway ! Can 't say it was nice o ' ye to throw me in the water like ye did , but hey , a man 's gotta do what a man 's gotta do . After that there was that big ass army of girl - dude - whatevers in black right ? I know how that ends , but damn , how did ye outrun a fuckin ' army in that stupid town ? - At first we tried to fight , but there was only so much we could do with three of us . I jumped in the bunch of them to distract them , Fosco somehow used a bow to attack them and Kaelach was casually swinging stands in their faces . Since they just kept on coming back , we started running . I lost them by hiding in a teahouse after quickly putting a drape on . I can 't say for the others , but my little finger tells me Kaelach went through the sewers . After I knocked one of the black widow assassins I stole his cape and ran to your ship . While I ran , Kaelach , in the sewers , grabbed my legs and pulled me down with him , probably thinking I was one of them . He quickly realized it was me and gave me a lift to the ship where Fosco was waiting . Luckily he was there to help us getting on board . - I do feel better , thank you Derrick . I guess I just needed to talk it out a bit . I was a bit mad at both of them because of what happened , but looking back , really I should thank them . - Hoy boy , don 't get no touchy feely here . I 'm a ship cap ' n , not a therapipe . There ain 't no place for more salt water on that ship so no tears allowed , understood ? Where to start … Maybe before everything got fucked up . We had been pushed aside by the Village to wait for our supposed affliction of " Sun Plague " to pass . We didn 't blow up , obviously , so in the meantime we busied ourselves getting accustomed to that new life we had . Zain explored , Kaelach rested and I fought imaginary foes and beasts with that sword I got , keeping my old habits , even though my fist and feet were probably more dangerous than my sword with all the glowing I did recently . Elder Cree came to see us at the camp , giving us yet another task to finally be part of the Tribe . I was beginning to wonder how many it would take to finally be accepted , even though they never did us any wrong ( besides cutting my arm , but I sorta asked for it . Plus they gave me my right arm back in the process , so in the end , I can 't really complain … ) We had to gather some flowers in a forest up north , then head back towards a cliff to meet with some sort of sage . So we gathered our things and headed for the forest . We crossed path with somebody who claimed to be the Guardian , I didn 't question anything too much but Kaelach followed him while Zain and I continued towards the forest to get the flowers , which was quite easy to do actually . We then headed back towards the Village and headed for the Sage 's hideout , carrying our precious yellow flowers . Arriving at the cliff , we climbed down , Kaelach carrying me on his shoulders . Expecting a hut , we found a slab barring the doorway . Surrounding it , symbols , none of which made any sense to us . We knew the flowers were supposed to be an offering , but all our attempts at moving the slab were pointless . We put the flowers to the ground , as an offering , but nothing happened . But then , I thought that an offering had to undergo some sort of process to be accepted by the receiver . Looking around , we found a brasero hidden in the ground . We put our flowers in and set fire to the lot . There was a huge fireball and thick grey smoke filled the little cranny in which we were standing , but luckily , nothing else happened . The slab moved slightly , leaving enough grip for Kaelach to move the huge rock . Inside , we met the Sage , an old man who has probably been living in here for aeons . He could barely talk , was deaf and blind , but kind and smooth . He gave us water and we helped him prepare some sort of mixture with various herbs and the flowers we burnt earlier . A thick blue smoke rose from there and symbols flashed before our eyes , scenes being drawn and displayed by the fumes . But not hallucinations , the smoke shaped itself to display the scenes . It was amazing . But one detail caught our attention . A pyramid . We told the sage what we saw and he drew a map , highlighting the pyramid . We knew our next step , but there was one last thing to do . In the cauldron from which the fumes came out , there was a silvery liquid . We dunk our fingers in the liquid ( damned was it hot ! ) and engraved our names on the stone surrounding the slab . This was a ledger of all the members of the tribe . We went back to the village and were greeted with a festival . One heck of a party . It was happy , it was light . People were drunk but not sick ( except that one guy … ) and we all had great fun . I did a few drinking contests with the locals and aced them all , then Kaelach came and ridiculously beated me at it . Still , I had fun and got drunk with people whom I appreciate and who appreciate me in return . It really felt good being welcome among the tribe , being appreciated for who we are and what we are . The next morning , we headed towards the pyramid . We borrowed two boats from the village and Zain and I build an improvised Catamaran , so that it wouldn 't sink with Kaelach sitting in it . We headed towards the pyramid , taking a rest after a full day of rowing . We didn 't have much left to do but we decided to pitch out tents and rest . Sadly , we were ( once again ) disturbed by Omen who thought it would be a good idea to interrupt us and ask us , once again , to be friends in exchange for our cooperation . He gave us some instructions as to how to get in the pyramid , we thanked him but did not want to talk more before talking between us . We thus agreed to meet again and made him promise no Behemoth would be close to disturb us , to which he agreed . We headed for the pyramid the next day , which was fairly easy to reach . Heading for the entry , we saw that the ground was littered with metallic parts similar to you Defend . ( Look at me , talking to a tin man . ) None were working , most were rusted beyond repair , but they were there . I 'm sure there is a link between that pyramid 's fate and the " caverns of steel " , but with a lack of proof , I 'll just continue my tale . We were soon disturbed by lizardmen who attacked us , but were quick to flee when they realized that we were badass . They quickly hid underground and left us inside the pyramid . We looked at the hieroglyphs and pictures engraved in the rock , trying to make sense out of the scenes depicted there . Many questions and little answers sadly . We saw the sun setting and decided it would be safer to head out and set camp a little away from where lizardmen may be lurking . The next day , we went to meet with Omen , merely out of respect for our word . It was a short trip to the meeting point and he appeared out of thin air , as he always did up to now . We began to talk about our respective goals and he finally told us why he wanted to be friends with us : to have us as minions . Oh , he may have said " Oh but it 's a harsh term , I used minions but it doesn 't say it all ! " It was too late . Kaelach was angry , and so was I . Kaelach was just more expressive about it and came down to threats . It 's then that Omen dropped the mask . We said no again , we wronged him , and he wanted to show us just how pissed he was . He pointed west , towards the village , and we saw smoke . He was right , no behemoths were at our meeting , but there was one at Rakanaton . It took us a few seconds to realize what was actually happening before we ran , once again drunk on adrenaline . It was a full day of boating before we reached the pyramid and , honestly , I don 't know how fast we travelled . All I know is that by the time we arrived , I was spent , I didn 't have anything left in my body , but we were too late . All that was left of Rakanaton were smothered ruins . We saw Elder Cree 's hut , Kaelach rushed inside . I stayed out and waited it out . The hut crumbled and the only thing still standing was the giant amidst the wooden rubble . I … I fell to my knees . I sat down . I did not say anything , all my might focused on staying strong for the village . But I couldn 't . I couldn 't cry , but I couldn 't stand . I 've been wronged again . Confidence had built up but now it was smothered , ruined by the embers of the village . I just sat there , looking at the rubble , sobbing amongst the toppled trees . I must 've stayed there for hours , just thinking about what happened and why . What I could 've done . Once the rain stopped falling people started coming out and each of us had a little moment . I , for my part , stood up . I had grieved Cree and the village , I 'm still doing so as we speak , but grief will not stop me from doing what I had set on doing . There 's only a slight change of plan … I brought some villagers with me , all those who wanted to follow , here , at the Caverns of Steel . I introduced them to you as guests of honor in the hopes to settle a new village , a new home for all those grieving men and women . Kaelach followed but I didn 't hear his voice in days now . Zain wussed out and ran away . I tried catching him , but he lost me in the woods . I 'll send search parties and I 'll go looking for him myself . I 'll have to have a chat with Kaelach , try to get him back on my side of the fence , try to distance him from his grief , try to convince to do as me . The Councilor was at the top of my kill - list , but suddenly he isn 't anymore . No , in his place is Omen , spoiled child who threw a murderous tantrum because he could not have his glowy boy - toys . We did nothing but choose and he murdered a village because of that . I think we could not have made a better choice , what kind of guardian would sell his soul to the Fae for a meager bit of power . I fear that instead of using a behemoth to slaughter the village , he would 've used us . And I 'm pretty sure of the option I prefer . I 'll have to speak with Kaelach and Zain , try to get them back on track . In the last days , I 've been leading the efforts of building back what we lost , try to stockpile some food and all . But all I know is how to give orders . I 'm no dictator , but what those people need is a role model , and that 's the opposite of who I am . |
Okay , maybe the title is stretching things a bit , but I really did consider doing a fundraiser where I bike all the way to Bulgaria . ( No , not literally . I know there 's a bit of water between here and there . ) I finally decided that I didn 't have enough " good years " left in me for that , and I certainly didn 't have time to use it as a fundraiser before the kids get here . So , here 's my compromise . To keep the numbers simple , we 'll say it took us 15 hours to get to Bulgaria earlier this month . ( It was actually a little longer . ) Now , let 's figure it 's another 15 hours back home . If you take that 30 - hour trip and multiply by 2 trips , you have a 60 - hour journey from start to finish . That means my newest hair - brained brilliant fundraising idea is to see how many of you are willing to sponsor me on my 60 - hour bike ride to Bulgaria . I know . It 's not a great picture , but that 's what happens when you take a picture of your TV screen . I 'm hoping that I don 't have to do this alone . I want the kids to each take a turn and help me progress faster than I can alone . If you want to drop by and go for a spin , I 'm open to that , too ! I 'm using him ONLY for biking in Wii Fit Plus where it will keep track of the total time I have biked . And from Wednesday . . . . You can sponsor me for any amount you like , but here 's an example . If you sponsor me for $ 1 per hour , then at the end of this , you would send in $ 60 . Pretty simple . I figure it will take us at least a couple of months to do this - - maybe 3 or 4 . So you can consider that when you pledge . If it takes 2 months , that 's only $ 30 for each month . If it takes 4 months , that was only a $ 15 a month pledge for 4 months . Out - of - the - blue donations are always welcome . Checks are preferred , but PayPal may be easier for you . Just click the DONATE button on the right . Finally , you may notice a change in the fundraising thermometer . We came up short on the last push , and we have already had to raise the expected total for the final trip . So putting all of that together , I 'm setting our new goal at $ 25 , 000 . This is the amount I would LOVE to raise by September but at least before we travel . . . whenever that may be . The amount raised so far will reflect any money that we have received starting with May . Thanks to all of you who followed the blog during our trip . I 've really been encouraged by all of the positive comments . Please stay with me and keep reading . Hopefully we will travel again soon , and then I 'll be able to post those long - awaited pictures . First , a quick update . I figured out why my glasses case was stolen . They needed somewhere to keep the clip - ons that were made for my prescription eye glasses ( the ones left loose in the suitcase ) . Didn 't realize they were missing until I went to put my glasses in a new case and noticed it looked awfully empty . So now , we begin a new kind of waiting . The kind of waiting that has two precious faces attached to it . Some have said that at least we have an end in sight now . And that 's true . But it feels a lot more urgent than before . Once we were back , we started the paperwork by going for fingerprints - - since those change so frequently and require us to have them checked often . This was my 9th time to be fingerprinted . These were the ink prints , and if you have been following this blog for a REALLY long time , you might recall that in 2010 , I had a terrible time with these . There is only one place here that even does ink prints - - most have moved on to electronic . Anyway , last time I sent them in , I waited roughly 12 weeks to find out they couldn 't read them . I redid them , resubmitted them , waited again , and found they still couldn 't be read . Just so you know , the second time is free , but the third time , they conveniently charge you again . So , after 3 attempts and 33 weeks , they finally were able to read my prints . This time , I thought I had a foolproof plan . The officer that took that last set of prints did a really thorough job and told us to ask for him if we had to do it again . I called for him and he was gone . You DID see that coming , didn 't you ? Through some miscommunication and bad timing , we made two unsuccessful trips to get fingerprinted before we left for Bulgaria . Afterwards , we finally made it there and got fingerprinted . For some reason , the people on duty this time were not personable or friendly . They could not have cared less about our adoption and the inconvenience we were causing them . I wanted to ask the officer to please do a very careful job with my prints ( like the last officer had done ) , so I told him that I have very difficult to read prints . While quickly and half - heartedly doing my prints , he informed me that he doesn 't read them . In other words , " that 's not my problem . " We knew as we left that there was no way the FBI would be able to read this set of prints . So , we now have a back - up plan for more prints this Thursday ( not at the same place ) . But time is ticking ! I 'm braced for a 12 - week wait just to find out if they are read . We don 't really have time after that for another try . If we have to redo them , then theNext , I completed my I - 800 ( immigration paperwork ) . I rushed through it and got it mailed off as quickly as I could . Today , I got an email that my agency received it , but I didn 't include the I - 864W . Silly me . Some people dream in color , but it 's a wonder I don 't dream everything in fingerprints and numbers ! ! Okay , so I started on that one this evening only to get stumped and have to send off an email of questions . Probably won 't hear back until tomorrow because it was so late . The day we left Sofia started slowly . We were up and ready with about 3 hours to spare . We decided to take a walk and found that early Saturday morning is almost deserted . We were used to the hustle and bustle of later in the day . We were picked up about 10 : 30 to go to the airport . Riding with us was a mom from Indiana who was heading home with her new 4yr old daughter . We learned that we would be flying together until Chicago , so it was nice to know there would be a familiar face around . As the plane was just about to take off , I almost teared up . I suddenly FELT like I was leaving my kids behind . Even now I 'm thinking often about what time it is there and what they might be doing . Our flights were thankfully uneventful . The only possible problem we foresaw was catching our plane in Chicago . We had our shortest layover , had to get through customs , and had to take a train to our terminal . As we arrived , so did another international plane or two . The place was absolutely packed . We had only 30 minutes until our plane was supposed to start boarding . We finally made it through the line , claimed our bags , got in another line , gave more paperwork , checked our bags back in , caught the train , and found our gate . As we approached the counter , we noticed the door next to it was closed , and we feared they had already closed it to any more boarding . Then the guy tells us that our flight is loading 5 gates further away . Not what was on our tickets printed that morning . But we also learned that it was leaving later than originally planned . We finally reached the right gate 55 minutes after we originally arrived and just before they opened the door for boarding . Tim graciously let me run to the restroom first . Trust me . I was fast , but when I came back they had already called our zone for boarding . So we went ahead and boarded . It was only about an hour 's flight or so , but we did stop at the first available bathroom in Nashville 's airport . We went to claim our bags and waited and waited . While we were waiting , they announced tPosted by Not much to tell about today . We met a lady downstairs at 9 : 00 this morning . She walked us to the notary 's office several blocks away . There we met a lady from Sweden who has also been on her first visit this week . Another lady from the agency here read all of our documents to us in English ( since they are written in Bulgarian ) . We signed them and had them notarized and headed out . Back on the street , there was one other couple arriving to sign papers . Turns out they were from Rhode Island . We barely got their names and what region they had visited before they were taken in . I hated that we did not have a chance to talk . We ventured out on our own to find our way to our apartment . They offered to drive us , but we were pretty confident we could find it . And we did . Even with all the walking , it still wasn 't 10 : 00 yet when we returned . Fatigue has definitely caught up with us . We rested and took a nap , went out for another round of the Italian ice cream , came back and rested some more . Tim , of course , spent some of his time working on school work he brought with him . We have Skyped more with Colton and Eli today since their cousins have headed home . Now they are ready for us to get back . They REALLY wanted us to come home WITH the kids . We have repacked the suitcases . So far we have been able to pack a smaller one and put it inside the big one . That way we can check the 2 - in - 1 and one other bag and only take one small bag on the plane instead of two like we did coming here . Please pray for safe travel and that we won 't miss the plane in Chicago where we have a fairly short layover . Next week more fingerprints , more government paperwork , and more grant applications . Our last day . As usual , we went to get V first . As I came through the orphanage doors behind our translator , V ran past her ( for a change ) saying " Mama ! " and threw her arms around me and kissed me . She gave us some mini roses she had cut that were orange and yellow . A great start to our last day . We left the gifts for her caretakers and headed for M . He was not as sad as we had feared today , although he did have moments where he got kind of quiet . He asked our translator again how long it would be before we came back for them . She told him that it would be after summer . Hopefully it won 't be much beyond that for his sake and ours . First we took in the gifts for M 's caretakers . Then we gave M & V their gifts for today . M got a sketch book , colored pencils , and a pencil sharpener . ( Did I mention he loves to draw ? ) Not to be left out , V got a coloring book and colored pencils . ( We gave them each some crayons on the first day . ) We stayed in the director 's office while the kids completed one picture apiece . Then we went to a couple of nearby playgrounds and spent the whole morning just playing and walking . We did find out that V wants to be a doctor when she grows up , and M wants to be a policeman . We found yet one more restaurant not too far away for lunch . After lunch , we went back to M 's . Our translator told them we could stay for about 10 more minutes to play a new game on my iPad that I had downloaded for them , but V chose to color in the coloring book we gave her . M took our departure quite well , but in my worry for him , I had to hold my breath a few times to keep from crying myself . After several rounds of hugs and kisses , we got in the car with V and waved goodbye . Thankfully , V was her usually smiley , playful self on the way to her orphanage , so that lightened the mood . There were several more rounds of goodbyes and more kisses and more silliness . Unlike the other days , she didn 't run off to her friends . She stayed right with us and even walked all the way back out to the car with us . We drove back to the citLibby DeMoss Today when V greeted us , we could sense a subtle change . She was a little more open with us ; she wanted to be beside me ; she would reach for my hand when we were walking ; she would give spontaneous hugs ; and she was ready to pick at Tim first . She had definitely warmed up to us a bit more . We didn 't go straight to M this time . Instead , we went back to the city to have her picture made for her visa and passport . We didn 't have room in the car for everyone for that long of a trip ( about 20 minutes ? ) , so we had to take them separately . She and Tim continued their game of picking at each other on the way . She giggled when Tim would just look at her . When we were finished , we went to M . He had a bit of a change , too . He wasn 't smiling like usual . He didn 't greet us with hugs like yesterday . He didn 't play or even talk . He was really just sitting quietly with us . Our translator soon told us that he was already sad about the fact that our visits would soon be over . He had asked her how long it would be before we came back for them . As soon as V saw him , she asked him if he wanted to play the memory game like yesterday and see if he could win this time . He said no . We decided to go ahead and give them today 's gifts while we waited to go into the city again with M . I gave V her bracelet that matched the one I was wearing . She loved it . Then I gave her several other bracelets I had brought . Finally , I gave her a new hairbrush and a pack of colored pony - tail holders . She loved them , and I was told that she really needed a new brush right now . Tim gave M a bracelet , too . This one was a paracord bracelet made by one of Tim 's students . She made one for Tim , Colton , and Eli as well . M had been admiring Tim 's since we got here , and we had made sure Colton and Eli had been wearing theirs in the family photos we left them . Then Tim also had an MTSU hat for him and one for himself . So , they had two matching items . Despite his mood , he was obviously happy with the gifts . We eventually did make it to get M 's pictures done . He was still very quiet during the trip . On the return trip , we decided to go ahead and give him the iPad to play with . We thought it would distract him from thinking too much about our week ending . We also thought that he could practice the memory game before playing with V . This finally put a smile on his face ! He played the memory game and a little bit of Angry Birds , watched a few moments of a couple of cartoons , and then found the music I had stored on it . Thankfully , he stayed perked up the rest of the day . But I have a feeling tomorrow will be hard since it is our last visit . We picked up V and went to eat at a restaurant we had seen on the side of the road just before reaching the first village . M 's director joined us again . Now , some restaurants have English translations for each item on the menu . At this one , the " menu " was just a sheet of paper with no English . Tim has discovered that he likes something called a Shepherd 's Salad , and they had that on the menu , so he was set . I hated to have our translator read the entire menu to me , so I settled on fried fish and French fries because she read that early on . While we waited , M turned the tables on Tim and tried to teach him some Bulgarian . Let 's just say everyone was quite entertained . We 've got some work to do this summer . When my food arrived , I was quite surprised to see the plate set before me . At first it looked like a pile of black fries . Then I noticed eyes looking back at me . It was a pile of little , whole fish . Each one was about as long as one of your fingers . ( I found out later they were European Sprats . I 'll try to post a picture later . ) I wasn 't sure what to do because it looked disgusting , but I was afraid of offending someone . Each of the kids reached over and got one and popped it in their mouths . Tim and I joked that at least they were fried - - and anything has to be good fried . Tim also said , " It probably tastes like chicken . " finally I tried one . It actually tasted like fried catfish . So , I managed to eat about half of the plateful before the taste of grease got too heavy for me . Later back at M 's orphanage , we talked to them about names . Because of their ages , we decided to keep their given names . His sounds less American than hers , but we found out that first part of his name means kindness , and the second part means little one . So he is a little one full of kindness , and this suits him perfectly . We did explain , though , that in our country people usually also have a middle name , and we had chosen middle names from our family since we had done that for Colton and Eli . We told V hers , and everyone seemed to like it . Next we turned to M , and he jumped in with " Ben ! " . This kid loves Ben - 10 ! We laughed , said no , and told him the named we had chosen . He was okay with that one . We played a few more games on the iPad before it was time to leave . 2 ) Pray for strength , especially for the kids , that they will feel a certainty that we will be back rather than a sadness that we must leave for awhile . 3 ) Pray that the remainder of the process would be swift . We are told that it can take 4 - 5 months , and that all government offices shut down for the month of August . 4 ) As usual pray for our fundraising . We need to make up the deficit we had when we left for this trip plus raise the rest . There are a few grants that I can apply for when we return since we will have officially accepted our referral . Today , we picked up V and M and took them to a nearby monastery . A monk came and gave us a very thorough tour . I was surprised when he told us to take as many pictures and video as we liked . With all the very old paintings and things ( besides the fact that it was a church ) , I thought that would not be allowed . The kids also surprised us by being very attentive and quiet whenever the monk was talking . . . ' cause it was a LONG tour . It was quite interesting , though . After this we went to a small playground for a while . Once again M & V got my camera to play with . There is no telling what I will will find when I upload my pictures . At one point I told Tim I really hated to go home with a ton of pictures of myself ! : ) By this time we were all getting hungry , so we went to the one restaurant in the village . They didn 't have a menu but told us what they had . I believe they had three salads , two soups , and two main plates . I must say , it did keep things simple . We had quite the crowd : the two of us , the two kids , our translator , each kid 's social worker , and one of the orphanage directors . M & V ate very well and were well - behaved . . . at least until Tim started aggravating V . He would pick at her and she would giggle . Then she started repeating everything he said . Once she tried to sneak my camera out of its case , which was clipped to Tim 's belt loop . He caught her with a funny look and called her Sneaky . She repeated that several times and may have a new nickname . We went back to M 's orphanage and sat down to look at the photo albums we had brought them . Our plan was to go through all of the pictures and then talk to them about becoming a part of our family . This was going to be our way of telling them that kwe did , in fact , want to adopt them . Our translator was making labels for each page as we went , so it wasn 't going as quickly as just flipping through an album . At one point she told us that M had asked her how long it would be before we came back to take them with us . What ? This kid is not letting us get away ! First he announces that he is going to call us Mama and Daddy . Then he wants to know how soon we can go . He is not going to waste time beating around the o , , ok bush . He is so excited to be getting a family . The last child adopted from his orphanage of 7 - 18 year - olds was 2 years ago . See , once you move to this place for older kids , your chances of getting a family are greatly reduced . He fully understands what this adoption means . I don 't think V gets it as much , but she is going anywhere her brother goes . After pictures , we gave them the other gift for today . M was so excited about his Ben - 10 t - shirt , he jumped up and gave each of us a hug and kiss . V was tickled with the dress we brought and followed her brother 's leadTim : " Are you sure you want to become a part of our family ? " And that was that . While we were doing the pictures , I had also gotten the iPad out to show them some video clips of Colton and Eli . Then they saw all of their referral pictures . They really liked seeing themselves . So after our very brief " talk " , I showed them that I had a few cartoons on there . This opened us up to our first dispute ! ( Isn 't that sweet ? They already feel enough like a family to argue . ) She wanted to watch Bugs Bunny , and he wanted to watch Phineas and Ferb . Then he asked if I had any Batman . Finally to settle the dispute , I asked if they would like for me to show them some games on it . M tried out a version of Simon ( where you follow the pattern of colored lights ) . Then I showed them a memory game , and we had them take turns flipping two cards for a match . V surprised everyone by being quite good at this game . I would say that if we had kept score , she would have won . M was just as sweet as could be . He didn 't get upset when he missed or when she succeeded . He just enjoyed playing . When it was time to go , he gave V a hug and kiss . . . then us . This kid has got so much love to give and just needs a family to receive it . There were times when he would just hug Tim out of the blue as if he were just spilling over with affection and had to either let it out or burst . During our travels today , we had two kids and 5 adults in a 5 - passenger car . M sat in Tim 's lap , and V sat in mine . When we took V back to her orphanage , we were back to having plenty of room , but she still wanted to ride in my lap . Awwww . The trip back to the city was interesting . Each of the directors had asked our translator for a ride back . ( They both live in the city . ) I ended up sitting between them in the back seat . The ride back began to make me very sleepy , and I was so afraid I would fall asleep between them and end up snoring or drooling on one of them . Yikes ! But I didn 't . Don 't worry . A little shopping and a lot of dinner later , I 'm ready for bed . Today we met . First , we went to meet M ( the brother ) . He was waiting outside for us . He shook our hands and introduced himself . Then we all went inside to meet with the director . Tim and I sat down on a couch , and M sat down very close beside Tim - - like close enough to touch . He started out very quiet and shy . He showed us his drawings we had seen in the video we received . He is very proud of his drawings . We gave him one of the gifts we had brought - - a mini Pillow Pet . . . a shark - - which he promptly named Tony . He would answer questions but was noticeably nervous . We decided to go outside to play , but first he wanted to show us his room . He shared a room with 2 other boys . He got out a photo album , sat between us on his bed , and began telling us all about all of the pictures . Next , he took us downstairs and showed us the room where they watch TV , the room where they do their homework ( and showed us his desk ) , and the room where they eat . Finally we went out to play . We had brought a frisbee , but he had never seen one . After a few tries , though , he was getting pretty good . At one point he asked our translator if we had been to see V ( his sister ) . She told him that we were going there next . He asked if we would tell her he said hi . : ( We stayed about an hour and then went to V 's orphanage . We had to wait for her to finish an activity she was in . When she came in , she sat down beside us , smiling but very quiet . Like M she would answer questions but was otherwise quiet . We gave her a mini Pillow Pet also , and she seemed to really like it . Later when I was holding it , I pretended it kissed her , and she looked up at me and giggled . Our translator talked a lot with the director . Finally , she told us that V was going to go eat her lunch , but when she was finished we could take her to see M . Wow ! We had hoped to meet them together , but since we didn 't , this was quite a surprise . She seemed perfectly content to sit between us in the car . Seeing them together was so sweet . First M was off doing something . While we waited , they gave her a piece of paper to draw . When M came in they gave him a piece . They sat quietly just drawing for the longest . M drew a house with two people on one side and two on the other . When asked , he said that two were him and V . The other two were his mother and father ( hmm . Hint hint ! ) . They were both very detailed about their pictures . When finished we started outside , but M wanted to show his sister around . They went down the hall holding hands . In his room , he showed her the picture album , but he started taking some of the pictures out and giving them to her . He said he wanted to give her some so she could see him . Once she said , " You 're so sweet . " They were so cute together ! As we went outside , M announced that he was going to call us Mama and Taty ( Daddy ) . ( They had introduced us as Tim and Libby . ) We started to teach V how to play with the frisbee . M tried to help her , and when she would throw ( even a bad throw ) , he would tell her " good job " . After awhile , M wanted to kick the soccer ball with Tim like they had done earlier . They did , and V and I went off to play . I was impressed when V took me by the hand and led me to something she wanted to do . Then Tim outdid me , M had given him a kiss to thank him for something . He sAs we left , M gave V a kiss goodbye . We told everyone bye and M that we would see him tomorrow . Then we drove V back to her orphanage . She was quick to tell us bye ( but smiling ) because she had friends to go play with . I can just imagine each of them spending time later telling about their special visitors . Tomorrow we will be telling them that we are , in fact , going to adopt them . We then spend tomorrow and two more days with them . Friday we will be back in Sophia signing papers . Then we leave on Saturday . Now , a footnote about the sights . So many of the villages we passed were very poor looking . Most buildings looked like stucco with red tiled roofs . The buildings also looked quite old and dirty . Some looked abandoned until you noticed a few items hanging out to dry . Our kids ' villages were no different . V 's orphanage was accessed by one - lane dirt roads with large holes in them . Once we had to stop and wait for a man to get his cow to move out of our way . And the buildings were right on each side of these narrow roads . The poverty was really troubling to see . The orphanages themselves were not fancy , but they were okay and the best buildings in their villages . We didn 't tour V 's yet , but M 's was very clean . Today we mostly rested . We slept in a little . Tim went downstairs to breakfast and found a plate already prepared for him . There were about 5 small pieces of cheese ( possibly mozzarella or provolone ) , 2 - 3 slices of American cheese , 3 slices of cucumber , 1 egg ( the kind on a little stand and not cooked as long as we would have cooked it ) , 4 small pieces of ham , and a wedge of tomato sliced . Like a good American , he saw some bread , and made himself a sandwich . He also got a banana to round it off . I , on the other hand , just opted for some snacks we had in the room . Actually , my curling iron wouldn 't work ( I hope I didn 't kill it ) , and I was trying to figure out how to look human again . Later , we headed out for a walk down " main street " and stopped by the Italian ice cream place we saw yesterday . Naturally , it was very good ! Next we walked to the other end of the street to a park and sat awhile just people - watching and talking . Finally we came back to our room and had a good ol ' Sunday nap . For supper , we walked back up the street to McDonald 's . Yes , they have Mickey D 's , KFC , Subway , Burger King , and ( I think ) Wendy 's . We of course had to then sample the OTHER Italian ice cream place . Here , I was proud of myself , I overheard the man before us asking if one of the flavors was raspberry . The lady had a little trouble with that word , but another worker verified that it was . I decided that was the one I wanted too , so I actually read the Bulgarian label for it and pronounced it correctly . Woohoo for me ! I know , it 's the little things that make me happy . As we walked around today , it 's funny to see so much English in store windows and on signs . Most of the store workers speak at least enough English to help you out . The money system is easy . All of the bills have their number value on them just like ours , but the coins also have numbers and are based on a hundred like ours as well . So the smallest coin has a 1 on the front ( or one side ) . It takes 100 of these to make one leva ( the type of bill ) . Just imagine if our penny had a big 1 on one side ; the nickel , a big 5 ; a dime , a big 10 ; and so on . How easy would that be to teach kids ? ! It was also funny to see familiar stores like Clinique / Este Lauder , an Apple store , Samsung , Levi 's , etc . There was even a building for rent with a Century 21 sign on it . The sights that were new to me are probably common in any big city , even in America : street performers , beggars , people everywhere without any regard for personal space . I miss our more or less polite folks back home . I guess I 've never been face to face with street poverty , but to see people begging or digging through trash cans is not something I 've been trained not to see . I see it , and it bothers me . Yes , I have taken the advice of others and pretended not to see or hear , but as a Christian that is so hard to do . The other thing that is difficult is that these extremely poor people are Roma . Roma people are basically ignored and / or despised here . Our new kids are Roma . Is this the life they would have had if their mother had not taken them to the orphanage . I saw a little girl going through the crowd . She was about the same age as my daughter . I guess she was begging , and once she must have been ignored because she made an ugly face at the people eating at an outside cafe . I thought how sad that she has been taught that this is her only way to make it though life . I saw her again today with a lady . Her mother ? The lady looked like she was giving her instructions . Again I compared her to my kids . " Is this the life they would have had if they 'd had a family ? " Perhaps their mother really did realize that an orphanage was the best way for them to escape the road that would have been ahead of them . All I could think was , " How fast can I get my kiddos home ? " Tomorrow we move to a smaller town near our kids ' orphanages . I 'm anxious to see how a smaller town compares to Sofia . Might be better for this smaller - town girl . We will meet with the directors before we meet the kids . Please pray that they are nice and like us . Pray also that our visits will be with both kids at once and not one at a time . Even though they are in different orphanages in different villages , they are only a mile or two apart . Our trip began with our very first flight ever . The first leg was a short flight , so it broke us in , I guess . We parked at a place away from the airport and took a shuttle . We were the only two on the ride and told the driver this was our first flight . He said , " You mean from this airport ? " We said , " No , first flight ever . " He was almost speechless . I couldn 't count how many times he said " uh " before our 5 minute ride was over . He even offered to stop on the way to get us a beer to calm our nerves . I almost laughed out loud . I believe that was the first time ( except for restaurants ) that someone has ever offered me a beer . We declined , and he commented that we seemed awfully calm for a first flight . The further into this trip we get I know why . I truly believe we have quite a few folks sincerely praying for us . We made it through checking in our bags and getting our boarding passes . We went straight through security and found our gate with about 30 minutes to spare . This first plane was a little tight , but we really didn 't have anything to compare it to . The only glitch as we boarded was that we realized our seats were not even close to each other . . . about 7 rows apart . The flight attendants heard us and asked again where our seats were and said that someone would probably be willing to switch . ( It was a sold out flight . ) Would you believe that the young lady in front of me ( making our way down the aisle ) , turned around and said she would be more than happy to swap with Tim as her seat was next to mine . ( Thank you , Lord ! ) As it turns out we had the aisle between us , but that 's way better than 7 rows ! As soon as we got in the air , they came around offering beverages . Almost as soon as everyone had one , they began making rounds to collect the empty cups . I did grab a snack from our bag since we had missed lunch . Then we began our descent and were on the ground . Quickest 1 hr 19 min I can remember . As we got into the terminal , Tim told me I had something on the back of my pants leg . I found a restroom and discovered a large area of a thin layer of white chewing gum on my black pants . Great ! After much scrubbing and picking , I got most of it off . Later , you couldn 't really tell it had been there . We walked to the other end of the airport and checked in . The lady asked if our seats were together ( you 'd think we would have checked this time ) . They were . She asked if we had boarding passes for the next flight and if our seats were together . They were not . She said , " Let 's fix that . " So she changed our seats to be together . ( Thank you , lady . And thank you , Lord . ) We settled in with about 30 minutes again . Time enough for another bathroom break , a couple of phone calls , and a few minutes of charging the phone . We boarded the new plane . This time we had two seats to ourselves . . . a window and an aisle . As I settled in my seat , I saw that I still had gum on the back of the other leg . Oh well ! This was the long flight : almost 9 hours . I was surprised to find that I enjoyed looking out the window . We saw Newfoundland , Ireland , and England go by . We missed most of the rest . Although long , this flight was the most comfy . We had a snack , supper , and a breakfast snack . All of the food was actually very good . They were also often coming around with more drinks . Besides cokes , I enjoyed some orange juice and a hot cup of tea , and I tried the coffee - - a little strong for me . We watched movies and slept some , but I found I had over - planned my bag of activities . I especially liked watching the animation on my personal TV that showed where the plane was on the map and how much time was left in the trip . We landed in Munich and almost sprinted to our gate . This was our shortest layover , and we had to get from gate 1 to gate 38 . We arrived with about 20 minutes before boarding began . During that time we met a guy there from Tennessee . He was part of the national guard and on his way to Sofia like us . We talked a little and he gave us a few suggestions of things to look for , places to eat , etc . Our last flight was a much smaller plane but roomier than the first . It took about 1 . 5 hours to fly to Sofia . We looked down at the Alps with snow still on them . Beautiful . When we arrived , we went through the passport clearance and claimed our bags , no problems . Then we hit our biggest glitch of the day . We went through the door to exit into the waiting area . People were everywhere waiting for someone from our flight . We looked for our greeter who was supposed to be holding a sign with our name on it , but he was nowhere . We waited and waited . Then we called our social worker . . . twice . We waited 4 hours before he came . Turns out there had been a misunderstanding about our arrival . He thought we were coming in tomorrow like most folks , but we came a day early because we were having a hard time getting a clear answer on whether to arrive Saturday or Sunday . So , we just picked the earlier date because we were running out of time to book the flight . While we were waiting , we met yet another Tennessean . He , too , was with the guard , and he and his wife work at the US Embassy . Before he left ( and since we were still waiting ) , he gave us his number and the number at the embassy in case we never got picked up . That was VERY reassuring ! ( Thanks AGAIN , Lord ! ) ANYWAY , our contact guy did make it and took us to our hotel . Then he gave us a quick overview of downtown Sophia . We set out and had Tim 's birthday dinner at an outdoor cafe . Okay , so pizza isn 't exactly authentic Bulgarian cuisine , but it was a little different from anything we 've had back home . Before we were finished , two ladies were seated at the table 3 inches from ours . We began talking , and learned it was their first day in Sophia , too . They were from Australia . Then she asked if we were Americans . I asked if it was that obvious . She laughed and said that Tim 's " ma ' am " had been a dead giveaway . ( He called her that to get her attention to ask her a question . ) Then she asked if we were from the South . Turns out she had been on an " Elvis vacation " to Memphis and also went to Nashville for her dad 's love of country music . Afterward , we decided to skip dessert for tonight , but tomorrow we are heading back for some Italian ice cream . . . that will probably BE lunch . Heehee . I 've been meaning to blog as we prepare to make our first trip , but this place has been a madhouse of activity . Now , all preparations must stop where they are because we leave tomorrow ! We are very excited , anxious , and nervous all at once . The boys want their new brother and sister to come home , but they don 't want us to go . We are a strange lot in that Tim and I have never gone away overnight before . Oh , the boys have spent the night at Memaw 's without us , but we 've always been about 5 - 10 minutes away . This is new on SO many levels . We came up short on our fundraising as you can see . About $ 8000 short . AND it seems our original estimate may have been low . Whatever . We are on this journey with a fixed purpose in mind . God is going to provide . I don 't know when , and I don 't know how , but I know He is trustworthy . We have the house being looked after . The kids are being looked after . The gifts are purchased and packed . We have plenty to do on the plane . We have the right number of luggage pieces and currently come in underweight . We have our reservations and itinerary . I left school work for the kids . We have Memaw ready to Skype . ( That means I set up a webcam for her and showed Colton how to use it . hee hee ) I think we just have to actually GO now . Please pray for our journey . We are still a little nervous ( but more excited than before ) about our first plane trip . Pray for Colton and Eli who are sad to see us go . Pray for our mothers as they worry about us . Pray for the officials we will encounter that we will find favor with them . Pray that we don 't mess up being in a different culture with a different language . Pray that the kiddos are ready to accept us . They do not know that we are coming or even that they have been matched . I so hope they show excitement at the thought of becoming part of our family . I hope they are a little sad to see us go but excited about our return to get them . Pray even that we have free wifi where we are staying so we can Skype the boys every night . I hope to blog while we are gone becausPosted by $ 3 per piece ; $ 2 . 50 each for 10 or more . Just use the Donate button above . During the PayPal transaction or in an email , let me know the number of pieces you wish to sponsor and the name ( s ) you want on the back of the puzzle . |
A boy and a girl were in love . They met at the college , and theyhad love at the first sight . The lovegrew more and more intense asthe time passed . Their love was the topic of talk over thecollege . When the girl 's father came toknow about their love , he did notlike it at all , and so began to protestabout it . Now it happened that the two loversdecided to leave their homes for a happyfuture . The girl 's father started searching forthe two lovers but could not findthem . At last , he accepted their love andasked them to come back home thru alocal newspaper . Her father said " Ifyou both come back I will allow you to marry theguy you love , I accept that you lovedeach other truly . " So in this way , their love wonand they returned home . The couple next day went to town to shopfor the wedding dress . He was dressedin a white shirt that day . While he wascrossing the road to the other side toget some drinks for his wife , a carcame and hit him and he died on the spot . The girl was devastated and lost hersenses . It was only after sometime thatshe recovered from her shock . The funeral and cremation was the verynext day because he had died horribly . Two nights later , the girl 's mother hada dream in which she saw an old lady . The old lady asked her mother to wash the bloodstains of the guy from her daughter ' sdress as soon as possible . But hermother ignored the dream . The next night her father had the samedream , he also ignored it . Then thegirl had the same dream the next night , shewoke up in fear and told her motherabout the dream . Her mother asked herto wash the clothes with the bloodstains immediately . She washed the stains but some remained . Next night she again had the samedream . She again washed the stains but somestill remained . But again the nextnight she had the same dream and thistime the old lady gave her a lastwarning to wash the blood stain , orelse something terrible would happen . This time the girl tried her best towash the stains , and the clothesnearly tore , but some stains still remained . She was very tired . In the late evening the Share F This is a true story you can use to stress the importance of education to your children . When I was 19 I worked for a seafood restaurant as a prep cook , but specifically , I sliced and hand peeled thousands of individual shrimp 12 - 14 hours a day , six days a week . We were a bunch of 18 - 30 year - old classic American burnouts - except - after school each day - one 15 year - old Korean kid peeled shrimp with us . We affectionately nicknamed him " Flounder . " He was a good kid and we tried not to corrupt him . Everyone knew Flounder 's parents ; they owned the flower shop and the liquor store at a nearby mall and his dad had been selling us booze since we were 15 . So , one day , about eight of us were standing around in the cooler doing whip - its , when I said , " Flounder , what are you doin ' workin ' a shit job ? I mean , your parents own two businesses . They must be doin ' pretty good . You don 't need the money , do you ? " Flounder replied , " No , we don 't need the money . I don 't want this job . I hate it here . My dad makes me do it … . He said he wanted me to know what my life would be like if I didn 't get an education . " It was silent . Flounder didn 't realize what he had said to us . We didn 't hold it against him . We all knew his dad was right , and it hurt . We 'd all been schooled , but we weren 't educated . We didn 't even know what it meant . Some say Mark Twain said , " Never let your schooling get in the way of your education . " Flounder 's dad knew that we learn in every moment of our lives , so he gave his son the best education he could by forcing him to peel shrimp . At the time , I didn 't view peeling shrimp as an education , I viewed it as a way to make money . But it was a part of my education , and a valuable one I 'm grateful to have had . Share F Follow Most Watched Today on Facebook and You Will Always Have The Best Online Videos Wake up ! Let 's Save The Girl Child Need of the hour is a wake up call to th society to protect the girl child and give her a peaceful childhood bestowed with the basic amenities and education . Bias based on gender should be abolished . Girls are the victims of child labour . Parents of substance who can withstand the toughest of situations and emerge a clear winner in the years to come . Making a difference to the society . . . A few women have inspired me by their noble gesture in improving the quality of life of girls in need : A College girl in my neighbourhood who conducts tuition classes for free to the primary school girls of illiterate parents . A friend of mine who adopted an infant girl inspite of being the biological mother of a 3 yr old son . An acquaintance , a spinster by choice is raising a physically challenged girl . We have hope . . lets ' do our bit to bring a smile on the faces of the deserving children . Follow Most Watched Today on Facebook and You Will Always Have The Best Online Videos The White Tiger - Must Read . . Long ago in a village near the Kumgang Mountains in Korea there lived a young boy . His father had been missing since he was a baby , and the boy knew very well the reason why . Andrew , age 6 An enormous White Tiger still lived in the Kumgang Mountains who had tormented the village for years , coming down to prey not only on horses and cattle , but even on the human beings who lived there . Years ago , his father , who had been the finest hunter and gunman in the land , ventured into the Kumgang Mountains to shoot the White Tiger and to save the village . He had never returned . When the boy was still small he already decided deep in his heart that when he grew up , he would be the one to shoot down the tiger that had overpowered his father . As soon as he was allowed , he trained rigorously with the gun and became almost as good a gunman as his father had been . When he was fifteen years old , the boy went to his mother and said , " Mother , I 'm ready now to set out for the Kumgang Mountains to find the White Tiger and defeat him . Please , let me go . " The mother did not want to lose her son , too . With tears in her eyes , she said , " Even a famous marksman like your father was lost to the terrible White Tiger . Please , son , quit dreaming about such nonsense and stay safe here at home . " " Don 't worry , Mother , " the son cried . " I shall find the White Tiger , I know it ! " . Finally the mother said , " Very well , as you wish . But first let me ask you one thing . Your father used to have me stand with a water jug on my head . Then he would shoot off the handle of the water jug from one mile away without spilling any water . Can you do the same thing ? " . When he heard this , the young son immediately tried to match his father 's skill . He had his mother stand one whole mile away , with a water jug on top of her head . He took careful aim , but missed . So he gave up his idea of going to the mountains and instead , practiced three more years with tacebook This story you 're about to read has an important lesson for you to learn . So , read it carefully . . . A young married woman whose husband was a wealthy man was expecting a birthday gift from her husband . For quite a number of months she had admired a very beautiful diamond ring in a showroom , and she knowing that her husband could afford it , if he would , told him that was all she wanted for her birthday , and nothing more . As her birthday was drawing nigh , this lady awaited signs that her husband had bought the diamond ring . At last , her birthday finally came . On the morning of her birthday , her husband called her into his room . He told her how proud he was to have such a good wife as her and told her how much he loved her . After telling her all sort of sweet talks , he finally handed her a beautifully wrapped gift box . Very excited and curious , the wife opened the box and found a lovely , leather - bound Bible , with the her name embossed in gold . Angrily , she raised her voice to her husband and said , ' With all your money , a Bible was all you could give me ? ! ! ' And stormed out of the house , leaving her husband . Many years passed and the lady was very successful in all her dealings and business . She managed to settle for a more beautiful house and a new wonderful family , but realized her ex - husband was very old , and thought perhaps she should sayhim a visit because she had not seen him for so many years . But before she could make travelling arrangements , she received a text message telling her that her ex - husband had died , and willed all of his possessions to her . She needed to come back immediately and take care of things . When she arrived at her ex - husband 's house , sudden sadness and regret filled her heart . She began to search through her ex - husband 's important papers and saw the Bible , still as new as when it was presented to her . she had left it years before . With tears , she opened the Bible and began to turn the pages . Her ex - husband had carefully underlined a verse , Matt 7 : 11 , which reads ' And if you , being evil , know hacebook I went to a party , Mom , I remembered what you said . You told me not to drink , Mom , so I drank soda instead . I really felt proud inside , Mom , the way you said I would . I didn 't drink and drive , Mom , even though the others said I should . I know I did the right thing , Mom , I know you are always right . Now the party is finally ending , Mom , as everyone is driving out of sight . As I got into my car , Mom , I knew I 'd get home in one piece . Because of the way you raised me , so responsible and sweet . I started to drive away , Mom , but as I pulled out into the road , the other car didn 't see me , Mom , and hit me like a load . As I lay there on the pavement , Mom , I hear the policeman say , the other guy is drunk , Mom , and now I 'm the one who will pay . I 'm lying here dying , Mom . . I wish you 'd get here soon . How could this happen to me , Mom ? My life just burst like a balloon . There is blood all around me , Mom , and most of it is mine . I hear the medic say , Mom , I 'll die in a short time . I just wanted to tell you , Mom , I swear I didn 't drink . It was the others , Mom . The others didn 't think . He was probably at the same party as I . The only difference is , he drank and I will die . Why do people drink , Mom ? It can ruin your whole life . I 'm feeling sharp pains now . Pains just like a knife . The guy who hit me is walking , Mom , and I don 't think it 's fair . I 'm lying here dying and all he can do is stare . Tell my brother not to cry , Mom . Tell Daddy to be brave . And when I go to heaven , Mom , put " Daddy 's Girl " on my grave . Someone should have told him , Mom , not to drink and drive . If only they had told him , Mom , I would still be alive . My breath is getting shorter , Mom . I 'm becoming very scared . Please don 't cry for me , Mom . When I needed you , you were always there . I have one last question , Mom , before I say good bye . I didn 't drink and drive , so why am I the one to die ? Although she meant to keep herself as stiff as possible she found herself softening to him . His lips were soft and warm , and that surprised her even more . She tried to pull back and say something , but then she felt the wet tip of his tongue slip between her lips . His hand slipped to her back holding her to him as if not wanting for that moment to stop . It was her first kiss relived in a much more glorious moment in time . The stars were before her eyes again . Had she gone so long without knowing this kind of tenderness from a man that she forgot how to feel passion ? She felt as if she was watching the two of them kiss . Desire to desire . They had both wanted this for a long while now and they finally were able to do it . She was the one that broke of the kiss . Her legs were giving way from underneath her . Her heart was racing as she touched her fingers to her lips . She looked down , away from him , and her eyes were about to show tears , but she held them back . " Oh my God , " she said picking up her backpack from the table . " What ? " she heard him ask without looking at him . " I have to go , " she said pushing her way out of the in - house doors . She stopped herself from running down the hall . " God help me for my sin . " She said to herself . " Why did I have to want it so bad that I didn 't listen to common sense ? " She walked into the classroom and sat in a corner in front of the back door . " I felt alive inside again . " She thought as a tear rolled down her eye . " Am I in love with him ? Do I love him ? " She found herself asking . Her finally answer was , " Probably not . I bet I am just chasing after a dream again . " " I wanted to talk to you about this afternoon , " she said as they turned the corner of the hall to talk . " You feel guilty about it ? " he said crossing his arms over his chest . " No … Yes … A little , but its not about the guilty thing , " she said shaking her head . " Yeah … " he said looking behind the corner to make sure no one was coming down the hall . " I didn 't mean to run from you . I just haven 't bShare F It had been raining for more than a week , so much rain it made everyday seemed so restless and gloomy . She called and said she was coming up . It was the third time she came up to see me that week . I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and went to meet her at the nearby seven - eleven . She was standing there alone , carrying her red umbrella . Her friend had dropped her off . It was raining and she was shivering . She looked weak and fragile in the harsh rain , wearing not enough to keep her warm . She said , " I miss you . " I told her coldly , " Lets go , I 'll take you home . " She did not open up her umbrella , I knew she wanted to share mine . I said , " Open up your umbrella , let 's go . " Unwillingly , She opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the car . She said she hadn 't eat lunch or dinner and asked if we could stop at some place to eat . Right away I answered with a stoned heart , " No ! " Disappointed , she asked me to take her to the train station , she said she would take the train back home . Maybe it was the rain , all the trains were full of people with umbrellas and suit cases who were eager to get home , not caring about who just passed by . We waited and waited , she looked at me innocently . Being together for so long , of course I knew what she meant . I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like this . With her soft eyes staring at me , I felt guilt and wanted to let her stay for the night . But reality struck again , I said to her coldly , " Let 's go try the other train station . " We were living in the same apartment building , on the same floor . Back then there were four of us , and we got along well . We would always eat dinner together , watch movies , and sometimes go camping . We were more like a family , but I didn 't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four . Maybe it was during the last year of college , having living together for two years , we developed deep feelings for each other . After she graduated she went back home , and I staShare F I met Robi briefly through a close friend , and later somehow acquired his mobile number . Once in a blue moon , we would SMS each other , just to say hi and find out what the other had been up to . A year or so later , we met again , this time for a longer period of time . Jokes were exchanged and we grew more comfortable around each other . This meeting was the start of a very special friendship , a friendship that later grew to become much , much more . . . In the beginning , it was just an occasional SMS here and there . Then came the all night conversations and the more intimate topics of conversation . Things like , " I 'm so lonely right now " and " I wish I had someone to hold onto " . Both of us were very single and not liking it too much ! ! I 'd been hurt before and so had he , but his was more recent and we often talked about it - so many times I thought to myself " The stupid girl must 've been crazy ! Look what she 's thrown away ! " Not once did it occur to me , that her loss could be my gain . . . He helped me through my many crushes and broken hearts , and managed to make me laugh with the line " So . . . would you like me to break his legs ? Give me an address and phone number ! " No matter what time of the day or night that I messaged him , he always replied and he always seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel better . He soon became the first person I looked to for anything - whether I needed advice , reassurance , encouragement , a laugh , a smile , or even just a hug - I turned to him . He lives an hour away , but he began to drive up to see me and we 'd just hang out for the day . I always had so much fun with him ! ! Then one night , I messaged him once again , crying because I 'd been hurt by a guy . He was so sweet to me that night . He asked me if I wanted him to come and see me and he added that if he did , he was gonna give me the biggest hug and never let me go . . . He also told me that he 'd do anything for me and that all I had to do was ask . And deep down inside , I 'd already known that ! So we agreed to meet up and I ended up going to see hShare F " Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year . How I wish I could just lie down , go to sleep and only wake up after it . . . " . Thinking this , I was looking gifts for my lovely children in the supermarket . I made my way to the toy section , and there I started to curse the prices , wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys . While looking in the toy section , I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old , pressing a doll against his chest . He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad . I wondered who was this doll for . Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him , " Granny , are you sure I don 't have enough money ? " The old lady replied , " You know that you don 't have enough money to buy this doll , my dear . " Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around . She left quickly . The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand . Finally , I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to . " It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas . She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her . " I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her , after all , and not to worry . But he replied to me sadly . " No , Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now . I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there . " His eyes were so sad while saying this . " My sister has gone to be with God . Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon , so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister . My heart nearly stopped . The little boy looked up at me and said , " I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet . I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket . " Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing . He then told me , " I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me . " I love my mummy and I wish she doesn 't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister . " Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes , very quietly . I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy , " What if we checked again , just in case if you have enough money ? " " Ok , " he said . " I hope that I have enough money to buy this . " I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it . There was enough for the doll , and even some spare money . The little boy said , " Thank you God for giving me enough money . " Then he looked at me and added , " I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister . He heard me . I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy , but I didn 't dare to ask God too much . But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose . " A few minutes later , the old lady came again and I left with my trolley . I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started . I couldn 't get the little boy out of my mind . Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago , which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl . The little girl died right away , and the mother was left in a critical state . The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life - assisting machine , because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma . She was there , in her coffin , holding a beautiful white rosein her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest . I left the place crying , feeling that my life had been changed forever . The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still , to that day , hard to imagine . And in a fraction of a second , a drunk man had taken all this away from him . Share F I was in 1st year of college when I knew him and he was in his 3rd year of high school . We became close because of one thing and that was " Love . " He had a girlfriend and I had none . I told him every detail of my life and about my feelings for my crush and he did the same thing . He cared for me more than his sister and I was doing the same thing to him . I just didn 't know that I was beginning to like him because he was 2 years younger than I was and besides , he had a girlfriend . That summer , we had a youth camp in our place . We really had a great time together and when it was time to rest , he accompanied me to the tent with his feet outside because girls and boys weren 't allowed to sleep together , but there were too many mosquitoes that he let his whole body get in the tent with the door open . But , the insects started to get in , so we decided to close the tent and we were sleeping side by side . We talked and talked when suddenly , he asked me , " Why do I love you ? " I answered him saying , " Because God said ' Love one another . ' " Then , he smiled and kissed me on the check and there was silence . . . after a while he embraced me and said " You 'll never forget me . " I nodded , but then he told me the same phrase again and I hardly heard him . When I asked him , he suddenly kissed my lips and hug me . After that , I really didn 't know what to say or do because I was really shocked and shy . I just turn my back away from him and look at the stars above . He listened to the beatings of my heart and asked me why my heart was beating so fast . I blamed him for that . The next morning , he looked at me and when we got the chance to talk , he teased me with the question , " who was your first kiss ? " I just smiled because I can 't forget the time his lips touched mine . That was the time that I proved to myself and to everyone that first kisses are always the sweetest , especially if it 's an unexpected kiss . . . . To the dearest one in my life , You might be surprised when you hear me say this , but I must say it . You might become angry , give no reaction , or laugh at me , but I must be true to myself . I must say this to you . I am going to tell my true feelings about u . I love you so very much teddyIt is not necessary that you must think the way I think . You are free to think whatever pleases you . It is not that I will become happy if you think the way I think and I will be depressed if you don 't think like that . I would be happier if you are true to yourself . Your true feelings towards that will not affect our relationship a bit . In fact , it will strengthen our relation after knowing the feeling of each other . You can choose anything you heart decides . Please don 't care about other things such as society , family or other person while you think . Become true to yourself and answer to yourself . Emotion is very amazing . It keeps on wandering . Sometimes it gets attached to one thing , and ceases wandering . We are unaware of anything but the heart is after something . We don 't know where the heart is wandering but at last find that it desperately wants something . I must tell these feelings to you . It were u , listening the word , at the most distressed situation in my life , I was able to forget my pains . It was u , seeing which in my difficult times , made me conclude ; one day there will be U turn towards happiness in my life . It was u which helped me express different words in the most distressed situation in my life . And it is u , which helps expressing many words of happiness today . There was u in the journey of life from the most painful situation to this situation . Please pardon me if you don 't like the thing I am going to tell . But I must express these feelings . I must be true to myself . I love you more than this red rose with dewI love u . I love u so much . I love u from the bottom of my heart . I love u so much with all of my heart , soul and body . I love u so so … so … . . . soo ……… very much honey . I love u my sweetheart , I love uShare F We were in the college when my friend fell in love with that girl . It was her first day at college when we actually met her . My freind Akash was attracted towards her as she was most beautiful girl in that college . He wanted to talk to her but as we were seniour to her we were in different classes . It was so strange that he had such feelings for her . As it is said , ' love at first sight ' , yes the same thing had happened in his case too . He was in love with her . After few days we however managed to talk to her , she was not just beautiful but also a nice human being with a heart of gold . We came to know that her name was Shruti . They started meeting each other frequently and soon both of them confessed they love each other . I was much more happier for my friend as he got what he had wished for . They were enjoying in there own dreamland . But life was not that easy as they had thought , all the happiness were just for a moment . Soon they had to face many problems in there life when we came to know that Shruti was the sister of Kunal . He was our classmate but our relation with him was not so good . He belonged to a political background and also was our college president , he had some attitude problem . When he knew about them he was furious and took her away from college . Her family was strictly against their relation and they even locked her in the house . It was being really difficult for them to spend a day without meeting each other . One day we got a message from her , she was thinking to run away with him . In that situation we also thought that it was a right thing to do as her family would never be ready for their marrige . One night he went to her house , took her and ran away . It was the biggest mistake that we did . After few days her brother found them , there was huge fight between them . My friend Akash was badly hurt and he couldn 't stop him from taking her with him . In her house her parents were planning her marrige with some other man . When I came to know about them it was really late . I took Akash to the hospital . He was uShare F A cold March wind danced around Dallas as the doctor walked into Diana Blessing 's small hospital room . It was the dead of night and she was still groggy from surgery . Her husband , David , held her as they braced themselves for the latest news . That rainy afternoon , March 10 , 1991 , complications had forced Diana , only twenty - four weeks pregnant , to undergo emergency surgery . At twelve inches long and weighing only one pound , nine ounces , Danae Lu arrived by cesarean delivery . They already knew she was perilously premature . Still , the doctor 's soft words dropped like bombs . " I don 't think she 's going to make it , " he said as kindly as he could . " There 's only a 10 percent chance she will live through the night . If by some slim chance she does make it , her future could be a very cruel one . " Numb with disbelief , David and Diana listened as the doctor described the devastating problems Danae could face if she survived . She would probably never walk , or talk , or see . She would be prone to other catastrophic conditions from cerebral palsy to complete mental retardation , and on and on . Through the dark hours of morning as Danae held onto life by the thinnest thread , Diana slipped in and out of drugged sleep . But she was determined that their daughter would live to be a happy , healthy young girl . David , fully awake , knew he must confront his wife with the inevitable . David told Diana that they needed to talk about funeral arrangements . But Diana said , " No , that is not going to happen . No way ! I don 't care what the doctors say , Danae is not going to die . One day she will be just fine and she will be home with us . " As if willed to live by Diana 's determination , Danae clung to life hour after hour . But as those first rainy days passed , a new agony set in for David and Diana . Because Danae 's underdeveloped nervous system was essentially " raw , " the least kiss or caress only intensified her discomfort , so they couldn 't even cradle their tiny baby . All they could do , as Danae struggled beneath the ultraviolet light , was to pray that GoShare F Follow Most Watched Today on Facebook and You Will Always Have The Best Online Videos The True Meaning of LOVE - A Touching Story My husband is an Engineer by profession , I love him for his steady nature , and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders . Three years of courtship and now , two years into marriage , I would have to admit , that I am getting tired of it . The reasons of me loving him before , has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness . . I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings , I yearn for the romantic moments , like a little girl yearning for candy . My husband , is my complete opposite , his lack of sensitivity , and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love . One day , I finally decided to tell him my decision , that I wanted a divorce . " Why ? " he asked , shocked . " I am tired , there are no reasons for everything in the world ! " I answered . He kept silent the whole night , seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times . My feeling of disappointment only increased , here was a man who can 't even express his predicament , what else can I hope from him ? And finally he asked me : " What can I do to change your mind ? " Somebody said it right , it 's hard to change a person 's personality , and I guess , I have started losing faith in him . Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : " Here is the question , if you can answer and convince my heart , I will change my mind , Let 's say , I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff , and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death , will you do it for me ? " He said : " I will give you your answer tomorrow . . . . " My hopes just sank by listening to his response . I woke up the next morning to find him gone , and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting , underneath a milk glass , on the dining table near the front door , that goes . . . . My dear , " I would not pick that flower for you , but please allow me toShare F I have to write about the encounter I had yesterday as I was sitting in a Dr 's office with my patient . Two ladies walked in , I could tell they were mother and daughter due to the look alike , but what was so unusual , one was holding a babydoll . she sat in her chair and rocked her doll back and forth , stroking it 's head and patting it 's back , she would kiss it and love it . she was very quiet but was infectiously smiling , she had the most serene smile I guess i 've ever seen , she watched everybody as they went in and out without saying a word , often looking up at her daughter with pure love , and it was returned , the daughter had the same smile as her mother , and you could tell the bond between them . I know it 's rude to stare , but this is a situation one couldn 't help , this daughter acted as if it was the most common thing in the world that a mother take her doll to the Doctors office , she didn 't care what people might think of her mother or make fun of her , this was her mother and she was doing what was best . > But not many children would be as thoughtful as this daughter , they would be ashamed to be seen in public with a grown woman holding a doll . it would be unspeakable . I spoke to the daughter before leaving the building and commended her for being so caring toward her mother , she said ' I love my mama ' but now i 'm the mama , her mother looked up at her and smiled as if to say , i 'm glad , a picture is worth a thousand words . I told her my profession and how many times I 've seen children abuse their parent verbally . I worked six years on one of my private sitting jobs and then resigned for this very reason . I had my mother six years , she had alzheimers and parkinsens disease , if you 've never had to deal with just one of these illnesses your blessed . but a caregiver has to do what has to be done , if you take your child to a facility where you know it 's going to take awhile , what do you do ? you take a toy , well these people are back in their second childhood , they don 't know any better . I told the daughter , your mom probably considers the doll as being you as a baby . The daughter thanked me for the praise and said not many people would understand , and that I was the first one who had commended her . This should not be , if you see someone who has went that extra mile for someone , especially an aged parent , give them applause , tell them how great you think it is in their effort to see to their loved one . It is not an easy task . If you saw the movie " Titanic , " you know much of what took place 87 years ago tonight , when the ship that even God couldn 't sink , DID sink . Of the 1 , 528 people who ended up in the icy water , only six were rescued . But did you know that one of those six was actually saved twice that night ? His story is an inspiring reminder that there 's more to life than mere survival . To tell this man 's story , though , I have to first tell you about another man , a Scot named John Harper . Harper , a minister of the Gospel , boarded the Titanic with his six - year - old daughter , Nana . He planned to travel to the Moody Church in Chicago , where he 'd been invited to preach for three months . When the ship struck the fateful iceberg and began to sink , Harper made sure his daughter was placed into one of the lifeboats . He then began what would be the last evangelistic work of his young life . As the freezing waters began to fill the ship , Harper was heard shouting , " Let the women , children and the unsaved into the lifeboats . " Survivors reported that Harper took off his own life jacket and gave it to another man . " Don 't worry about me , " he reportedly said , " I 'm not going down , I 'm going up ! " When the ship began to sink , more than 1 , 500 passengers jumped or fell into the icy waters . As they gradually drowned or froze to death , Harper was seen swimming from one passenger to another , pleading with them to accept Christ . Only six of the 1 , 500 people struggling in the water were later rescued , including a man who later identified himself as Harper 's last convert . This young man had climbed up on a piece of debris . Harper , who was struggling in the water near him , shouted out , " Are you saved ? " " No , " the man replied . Harper then shouted the words from Scripture : " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved . " The man did not answer , and a moment later he drifted away on the waves . A few minutes later , the current brought the two men back together . Again Harper asked , " Are you saved ? " Once again , the answer was " no . " With his dying breath , Harper Author - Charles W . Colson Share F Follow Most Watched Today on Facebook and You Will Always Have The Best Online Videos Do read it . . Touching one . . ! ! ( Our Story . . ? ? ) . . . . . . . It was raining heavily outside . Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature Before we become one with the world we have to become one with ourselves . If we get our own house in order we don 't have to make an effort to be one with the world . The world will want to be one with us . Everyone wants to be friends with happy , rich , thriving neighbors . Nobody wants a family festered with disputes . The question is how do we fix it ? Because to do anything great , you have to become one first . Two generations ago , our forefathers came together to win us Independence . It isn 't like we didn 't have disputes then . Religion , caste , community have existed for centuries . But Gandhi brought them all together for a greater cause - to get the country free . Today , we have another greater cause . To get India its rightful place in the world . To see India the way the younger generation wants to see it . To make India a prosperous , developed country , where not only the spirit of patriotism , but also the standard of living is high . Where anyone with the talent , drive and hard work alone has the ability to make it . Where people don 't ask where are the bulk of the population - the bulk of our voter bank . Yet , what they are looking for is not what politicians are pitching . It is not too pitching - old fashioned patriotism , defending traditions , being the torchbearer of communities , caste and religion . Here is what the youth wants - better colleges , better jobs , better role models . Compared to the talent pool , the number of good college seats are very limited . Same for good jobs . These wants are the biggest similarity that we all share . We all want the same things - progress . I see a huge disconnect in the political strategies of existing politicians vs . what could work for the new voters . I think broad based infrastructure and economic development will satisfy the young generation 's needs . It isn 't an easy goal to attain - but it is the great cause that can unite us . Today a dynamic politician who takes this strong moderate voice . When someone tries to divide us , people from the same community as the divider have to stand up against him . If person A is saying Non - Marathis should be attacked , then some Marathis need to stand up and say person A is talking nonsense . If a Muslim commits terrorist attack , other Muslims should stand up and condemn it , as Hindus are going to condemn it anyway . This moderate voice is sorely missing but is critical in keeping the country together . And the youth want to keep it together , as we want to be remembered as the generation who took India forward , not the one that cut India into two dozen pieces . I hate telling people what to do , but the media does have a role in this . I agree that media is a business and TRPs matter above anything else . However , there are ethics in every business . Doctors make money off sick people , but it doesn 't mean they keep people sick and not heal them . If you find a moderate voice , highlight it as soon as a divisive voice appears . And don 't take sides , argue or debate it . Don 't validate the ridiculous . Focus on the greater cause . The second mindset we need to change is that of elitism . From my early childhood days , to college , to professional and business life , and now in the publishing and entertainment circles , I have noticed a peculiar Indian habit of elitism . Maybe it is hard to achieve anything in India . But the moment any person becomes even moderately successful , educated , rich , famous , talented or even develops a fine taste , they consider themselves different from the rest . They begin to move in circles where the common people and their tastes are looked down upon . This means a large chunk of our most qualified , experienced , connected and influential people prefer to live air - conditioned lives in their bubble of like minded people . Naive people who elect stupid politicians - that is the bottomline to change it ? What is the point of discussing solutions to Indian problems if there is no buy - in from the common man ? Just because it feels good to be around like - minded , intelligent people ? What is the use Again , I am not making these points as a moral appeal . I think understanding India and being inclusive makes massive business sense . And trust me , it doesn 't take any coolness or trendiness away from you if you do it right . Look at me , by my wonderful readers . I think it is cooler to know how people think in the streets of Indore and Raipur than who 's walking the ramp in South Mumbai . You may have planned your next vacation abroad , but have you visited a small town lately ? Have you shown your kids what the real India is like ? Don 't you think they will need to know that as they grow up and enter the workforce . Yes , I want people to look down on elitism and develop a culture of inclusiveness . If you are educated , educate others . If you have good taste , improve others taste rather than calling theirs bad . change our thinking is our attitude to English . We have to embrace English like never before . Not England , but English . This point may sound contradictory to my previous one , but I am not talking about confining English to the classes , but really taking it to the grassroot level . English and Hindi can co - exist . Hindi is the mother and English is the wife . It is possible to love them both . In small towns , districts and even villages - we need to spread English . India already has a headstart as so many Indians speak English and we don 't have to get expat teachers like China does . But we must not confuse patriotism with the skills one needs to compete in the real world . If you are making an effort to start a school where none existed , why not give the people what will help them most . I can teach a villager geometry and physics in Hindi , but frankly when he goes to look for a job he is going to find that education useless . English will get him a job . Yes , I know some may say what will happen to Hindi and our traditional cultures . I want to ask these people to pull their kids out of English medium schools and then talk . If you go to small towns , English teaching classes are the biggest draw . There is massive demand for something that will improve people 's lives . I have no special soft spot for this language , but the fact is it works in the world of today . And if more English helps spread We are all passionate about making India better , so we can discuss this forever . But today I wanted to leave you with just three thoughts - politics of similarities , less elitism and more English that we need to build consensus on . If you agree with me , please do whatever you can in your capacity to make the consensus happen . It could be just a discussion with all your friends , or spreading these thoughts in a broader manner , if you have the means and power to do so . For the fact that we are sitting in this wonderful venue means our country has been kind to us . Let 's see what we can give back to our nation . Me : God , can I ask You a question ? God : Sure Me : Promise You won 't get mad . . . ... ... . . . God : I promise Me : Why did You . . . |
He laughed , snapping the book closed , causing dust to rise from its pages . The leather - bound tome was over a century old , and showed it . " You 're the one who wanted to come with me , " he said . He nodded , thinking back over their trip . He hadn 't been paying much attention to what had been going around him in the shop . He was more interested in picking up his items than in looking at the other customers . Kelly had been afraid of vampires her whole life . No matter how cool and hip Hollywood made them , they still scared her . To discover that not only where they real , but that she had been standing just feet from one made her shiver . The car in question was a hundred feet in front of them , and was weaving back and fourth across the road . It was drifting until it was nearly crossing into the next lane , before being jerked back . Squinting her eyes , she could make out the silhouettes of two people in the front seat . He laughed , and began to say something , but bit it off as the car ahead of them started to twist across the road . It plowed across the empty right lane and through the guardrail into the ditch . It pulled back , heading towards the freeway , trying to return to the road . It crashed through the guardrail once more , the front end binding up with the metal , causing the car to spin . The rear wheels clipped the side of the ditch , and the car flipped onto its roof , ripping free , and sliding down the road , spinning in the process . It finally came to a stop , wobbling on the crushed passenger compartment , looking for all the world like an overturned turtle . She moved back around the car , coughing from the smoke she inhaled . On the far side , she found Henry , desperately trying to give the driver CPR , but without any luck . Rather disturbingly , the man 's pants were hanging open , leaving him lewdly exposed , and apparently still erect . " I wish I had a cell phone , " she said , staring off into space for a moment . She shook her head , clearing it , and glanced back at where the car had exited the ditch . She dashed towards the opening in the guardrail , looking for any sign of the passenger . Another officer took charge of her then , spending a few minutes to get her statement about what had happened . He too seemed to disbelieve what she thought she had seen . Even so , she was still sure that there had been a second person in the car . She felt a bit dejected as she returned to her own car . Henry was already there , sitting on the hood , and looking both angry and annoyed . He hated death in all its forms , and the night 's events had clearly affected him . " Are you all right ? " She asked , sitting down next to him . His eyes were focused on the paramedics , watching as they moved the body onto a stretcher . He sighed , and placed his hand on her hip . " It 's not like that , Kelly , there 's something else here . Did you see the condition he was in ? " " Right , " he replied . " When I was trying to save him , I could feel something strange . I did some quick checks , and discovered that his soul was gone , drained from his body . " She sighed , and understood . " A demon ? " she said in a hushed tone . It was something that she wouldn 't have even thought of just a month and a half before . That was before one had crashed her company 's Halloween party , and begun changing everyone , starting with herself , into other things . Henry had been there , as her guest , and had managed to save them from the monster . He had destroyed the creature and turned everyone , except her , back into themselves . She had stayed as a human - like tigress for a few days , but eventually she too had returned to normal . He shifted a bit uncomfortably , and gently squeezed her hip . " I know someone who works at the morgue . I 'll give him a call when we get home . " Kelly blushed softly , although it was lost on her chocolate skin , and stood up . " I know , " she said , and started to walk towards the driver 's side of her car . He was an O - Saukie , a demon hunter ; he tracked down and killed the demons that came to Earth . It was , as he said , a very strange job . He nodded , and set his jacket and a small bag of items on her bed , then walked up behind her , and wrapped his arms around her waist . " True , it is pretty normal . I even had dreams about it . " She smiled , and turned to her dressing table , picking up a small pair of earrings . " So what are your plans today ? Did you manage to call your friend at the morgue ? " She laughed , and slipped out of his grasp , but not before returning the kiss . " He doesn 't even remember you , " she replied . Steven , her boss , had no memory of what had really happened at the Halloween party . The only people who actually remembered the events of that night were the two of them . He retrieved his things from her bed , shrugging the old army jacket on as he followed her into the hall . He escorted her out of the boarding house , waving to Ms . Baker , the owner , as they passed her . He stood by as she climbed into her car , and waved as she drove away . He tucked his bag of things under his arm , and started walking down the street . The morgue was only a few miles away , something that wasn 't an accident . Sadly he knew the way pretty well from the many times he had walked it . There was a chill in the mid - December air . Winter had dug in , but there was , as yet , no snow on the ground . He didn 't mind , he hated snow . It reminded him of what had happened to his sister . Actually , even by herself , Kelly could afford one . She could easily afford a house if she wanted . She made good money , but preferred to live in the boarding house . So did he . It was one of the few places he had lived where he felt comfortable . To think , he was going to leave after what had happened at the party . Running away from Kelly because of his attraction to her was a foolish idea , but something he had done before . The only thing he partly regretted was not waiting to be intimate with her . It had happened that first night , while she was still partly feline . They had both enjoyed it , but had later decided to hold off on doing it again until they were ready . She also knew about his work , which was a benefit as well . It meant he didn 't have to hem and haw around the subject like he had to with other people . It was a great relief in its own way . Of course , it made things more complicated in other ways . Most O - Saukie were eventually killed by the demons they tried to hunt . A few lived to an old age , and they became members of The Council , who ran the group . They were naturally cautious , and avoided any risks they didn 't have to take . He remembered how much he had fought to get in , after his brother had been killed on his first mission . They didn 't like having family in the business , it brought on vendettas . It had taken a few weeks , but he had managed to convince them to let him train . Even so , the first demon he had gone after had been the one who killed his brother . It was just one of those things that he had to do . The Council had known that when they let him train , but had still allowed it , something Henry had never really figured out . With his hands still in his pocket , he approached the morgue . It was in a simple - looking office building off a side street , a few miles from the hospital . It blended in with the rest of the buildings ; the only indication that it was a place of death was the small plaque by the door that read ' City Morgue ' . " Oh , it 's you , " he said , sounding as bored as he looked . He buzzed open the security door . " Go right in . Jason is in his office . " He followed a familiar route through the halls , ignoring most of the people who saw him . They in turn ignored him , having grown used to his occasional presence . In a short time , he arrived at his friends office . The door was open , and he could see Jason sitting at his desk . A large man in his late fifties , his red hair showed heavy streaks of gray around a perpetually growing bald spot . He looked up from his work , and smiled , lifting his considerable bulk out of his chair . " Not really , just doing paperwork . You 're a bit later than I expected , but that 's not a problem . " " Yep , " his friend replied , walking past the younger man and into the hall . " It 's in a small examination room . There 's not a lot going on today , so no one should bother you . " Jason shook his head . " Not this time . I have too much that needs to be done . The slower it is , the more time I have to catch up on all my paperwork . " Henry nodded . " I have a feeling it was a lot nastier than it seems , " he replied , pulling out his small bag , and unzipping the top . From it he removed a small golden rod , three inches long , with a silver bulb at the tip . He held it in front of himself as he approached the table , using it something like a dousing rod . It pulled in his hand as he neared the body , twisting upwards , then to the side . " Well , his soul is gone , " he commented . Henry shot his friend a mean look , then shook his head . " I thought you were busy ? Anyway , I don 't think Death has anything to do with what happened to his soul . His touch isn 't on this body . " " No , it 's not , " Henry replied , putting the rod away , and pulling out a glass globe . Inside was a small light , glowing pale green . It grew brighter as he held it close to the body , flickering and fading as he moved it around . " There 's some residue , " he muttered , half to himself . " The soul was sucked out , from here , " he said , stopping with his hand over the body 's crotch . The shaking green light glowed fiercely inside the globe . He dug around in his bag , searching along the bottom until he came up with a small folded square of paper . Being very careful not to spill anything , he opened it . Inside was a small pile of powder . It was a sickly yellow color under the florescent lights of the room . Gingerly , he sprinkled the powder over the covered body , letting it settle down over the sheet , giving it a yellow sheen . Once every grain was out of the paper , he unfolded it the rest of the way , and dug through his pockets , coming up with a lighter . With a quick flick , he lit the end of the paper , and dropped it , stepping back as it fluttered down to land on the sheet . She nodded , pushing her food around with her fork . Discussing his work would sometimes leave her without an appetite . This was quickly starting to shape up to be one of those times . " And what exactly is that ? " " It 's a sex demon , " he said , a little bluntly . " She seduces men , making them crave her sexually . Some of the better ones can take years draining a single man of his soul , slowly teasing it out one encounter at a time , corrupting him in the process . Others , like this one , take everything in one go , pulling the victims soul out in one last fatal fuck . " He chuckled . " Most of the guys I grew up with would have loved to die in the arms of a lovely women . An overrated fantasy , I think . Personally , I plan to die of old age , and not for many more years . " He shrugged . " I know , but there are things I need to do . Once I 've found the gun , then I 'll retire a happy man . " She nodded , folding her hands on the tabletop . " So , what are we going to do about this succubus ? " The word sounded strange as it rolled off her tongue , a hint of her southern accent slipping in . Henry took a bite of his sweet and sour shrimp , and played with his fork as he chewed . " Well I have to hunt her down , and kill her , preferably before anyone else gets killed . No one else is in a position to deal with her . " He paused , raising his right eyebrow . " You know , I 'm hearing an awful lot of ' we ' in this conversation . I really don 't think it 's a good idea for you to be tagging along on a hunt . " She smiled a bit , taking a bite of her food . " I 'm not sure I would say that . I liked being a tigress , and the tail was nice . " A smile played over his face . " I remember it was something that fit your personality surprisingly well . I just don 't want you to risk getting hurt . A lot of people die around demons - - I don 't want you to become one of them . " Henry paused , and smiled at her , dropping his fork onto his plate . " Well , it depends on the demon . Some are pretty easy to track , others take a lot more work . In this case , it looks like it will be a bit of a challenge . I know enough about her , kind of her scent , that I can work out where in town she is , but that 's not very accurate . It will only be within a few miles , after that , I 'm going to be on foot . She 's probably hanging out at a bar of some kind ; it would be easier to pick up a guy that way . " " There are a lot of singles bars in town , " she said , tapping her fork against the edge of her plate . What she didn 't say was that she knew where most of them were . She had spent the last few years jumping from one to another trying to fine someone to be with . " Not just singles bars . She may hit the normal bars as well . Hell , she might even be working a street corner . Once I 'm in the area , I might be able to narrow it down when I 'm on foot . She 'll be using her magic to seduce her victim I can use that to lock onto her , but only when I 'm close to her . He sighed and nodded . " Yes , that 's the only problem . She could kill again before I could do anything to stop her . And there 's no telling how many she has killed before that accident . She was trying to be subtle about it , and she succeeded ; no one ever noticed it before . " He smiled slightly , noticing her use of ' we ' again . Pushing his plate away , he said , " Most demons can come out at any time of the day , not just when it 's dark . Hell , there are a few that can only come out during the day . I 've already started the tracking spell , and it 's prepping back at the boarding house . It should be ready by the time we get back from dinner . " He sighed and nodded , " I know , I was kind of expecting that . I just want you to take care of yourself . I don 't want you to get hurt . " He nodded . " I have that covered , " he commented , pulling out a handful of bills from his pocket , and dropping them on the table . " Trust me about it . " She stood up , and offered him her hand . " We 'll have to see when the time comes . Come on , we have work to do . " " And number three , " Henry said as he pushed his way into the crowded bar . Kelly walked behind him , trying hard to blend in . She was succeeding , having picked out a rather hot combination of an ankle - length skirt , and a short top that left her midriff bare . Henry , on the other hand , stood out in his usual combination of faded jeans , faded black shirt , and tattered army jacket . They seemed to balance out each other in the end . She made a mental note to take charge of dressing him the next time they went out . Kelly glanced around the bar , taking in the people that were crowded inside . There was an equal mix of men and women filling the room . Most were drinking and talking with each other , while pretending not to be hitting on everyone in sight . He smiled as he reached up , and placed his hand on hers . " I 'm trying . Each time we miss , I narrow the range down a bit more . I think we 're getting closer to her . There 's a very good chance she 's in this bar . " She nodded , sliding around the table to sit next to him , as he stared out at the population of the bar . " That 's a start . So , do you have any idea which one she might be ? " She nodded , glancing around the room . No one really stood out in her mind . It was just the usual crowd she had come to expect in this kind of place . She leaned forward , glancing down at the water . The surface had become as black as ebony , reflecting the light of the bar with a dull sheen . It made her own reflection look dark and evil . He sighed and shrugged , " A valid question . There 's not much to go on , but I think I have something . " He dug through his pockets , and pulled out a pair of small brown stones . " This should darken as you get closer to her , " he said . giving her one . " It 's not as accurate as it could be , but it will do for this . " Kelly smiled a bit , and started towards the back . She kept her eye on the stone as she pushed through the crowd . It twitched a bit , the color fluttering as she walked around the bar , picking up a drink in the process . He caught her look , and started to edge his way over towards her , as she took in the women . The first one was tall , good looking , with long red hair that fell almost to her rear . She was wearing a slinky blue dress that hugged her figure , while at the same time was so tight that it made her look fat . She was chatting with an older man in a business suit who looked a bit flustered at the attention . Lastly was a small mouse of a lady , cute but not pretty , with a slim figure . Her short blond hair hung around her shoulders , framing her bright face and green eyes . The only thing she wore in addition to her simple blouse and skirt was a pair of dainty glasses that framed her face . She was currently talking to a young man , about her age , who had a smile on his face and a drink in his hand . They were chatting about a recent movie , and seemed to be enjoying themselves . Kelly rubbed her eyes again , watching him closely as he stepped back from her . " You 're right , " he nodded . " It is her . That 's a good call , now we have to stop her before she kills her date . " He paused for a moment , glancing between Kelly and the demon . " We have to get him away from her , and I think I know how . " He dug into the pockets of his jacket , fishing about through them before he pulled out a small hard candy . " Here we go , " he said , making a fist . She could hear the candy crack under his fingers . He flexed his fist a couple of times , then unfolded his fingers . The candy had been reduced to a small handful of blue powder . The man paused abruptly , shaking his head , and blinking like he was trying to get some dust out of his eyes . His focus returned to his date , and he frowned , then stuttered out a few quick words . Then he picked up his things , and hurried out of the bar . " It 's hard not to , " she said , rising from her stool , and taking a step toward them . Fire was glowing darkly in her eyes . " Your stench is fouling the whole bar . " " I put an anti - glamor spell on her , that 's why her date ran off . He saw her for what she really was . " He smiled a bit . " It will take all night for her to get it completely off . That gives us time to prepare for tomorrow . " He sighed , shrugging off his wet jacket . " You have to work tomorrow , so that will give me some time to prepare . For now , we need to get back to the boarding house . " " Prepare how ? " she asked , walking towards her car . She fished her keys out of her handbag as her heels clicked over the pavement . She felt an energy starting to burn inside of her , building slowly as she approached the car . " I have a feel for her now , " he replied , using the dry parts of his jacket to try and wipe the drinks from his face . " My next tracking spell will be accurate enough that we won 't have to go bar hopping . We 'll go right to where she is . " He chuckled and nodded . " She can make herself just as attractive to a women as to a man . It would be hard to make someone like you interested in her , as you don 't have any interest in the same sex , but she still might try . " " She might , " he replied with a shrug . " She didn 't feed tonight , so she might not have enough power to change form . I 'll prepare a ward for us both , so she can 't try and seduce us . " " That 's good to know , " she said , as she drove along . They slipped into silence for the rest of the drive . Each occasionally glanced at the other across the empty space of the car . Half an hour later , when she pulled into the driveway of the boarding house , she was eager to have some fun . Taking an exaggerated sniff of the air , she smiled at Henry . " You smell like liquor , Hon , " she said with a smile . " We had better get you up and into the shower before someone notices . " He noticed the slightly predatory look in her eyes , and shook his head , holding his hands up in protest . " I think we should hold off . A succubus ' magic can have effects on those around them . " " How can we know for sure , Hon , " he said , looking at her with an intensity she hadn 't seen before . She could see his own lust dancing behind his eyes , and elsewhere , yet he was holding it back . " If we do this , we 'll wonder if this was natural or not for the whole time we 're together . " " No , " he said in a gentle voice . Slipping his hands out of her relaxed fingers , he took a step away from her . " We 'll regret this if we do it , and it will haunt us . If we do nothing , then nothing can happen . " Her frown deepened , but finally she nodded . " You 're right , " she said , fighting back the sexual energy that was threatening to take over her whole body . " Go take a cold shower before anyone sees you . I 'm going to try and get some sleep . " He had been right . Staying away from each other had been the best course of action , and one that she wasn 't regretting . There would be other chances to get him in bed again , and she thought it would be a nice change to not have any magic involved ! Still , it was a difficult decision to call in sick , even if she could barely pull herself out of bed . Her work ethic made it almost impossible to shrug off work for anything less than a case of SARS . This was one of the few times where it seemed necessary . After sleeping in till noon , and a long , hot shower , she was starting to feel a lot more like herself . She pulled on a loose T - shirt , and a pair of old comfortable jeans . Glancing at herself in the mirror , she declared herself fit for the world . A few seconds passed before it opened a crack , and he glanced out at her . Swinging the door the rest of the way open , he smiled at her . " I thought you were at work ? " he asked . " I didn 't feel up to it this morning , " she replied , slipping past him , and into his room . " I 'm sorry about last night . You were right , we would have regretted it . " He nodded , closing the door . " I 'm sorry I didn 't anticipate it , " he said with a shake of his head . " That 's not a mistake I 'm making tonight . " He smiled . " Oh the usual . I 'm prepping an extra clip , just to be safe , and working on a better tracking spell . " He motioned to the bowls as he spoke . In one she could see bullets for his gun . In a second , smaller , bowl was something that looked like pine needles . " What 's this ? " Kelly asked , looking over his shoulder , and down into the bowl . Inside sat the pair of stones from the night before , sitting under water . Dark currents of red swirled around them , slowly being drawn in closer , before being absorbed into the stones themselves . He nodded , " Well , close to that . I was planning to pick up some simple mounts for them . Less chance of dropping them if they 're hanging round our necks instead of in our hands . " Henry smiled , and turned around to face her . He ran his fingers up her arms , over her shoulder , and down her back . Sliding closer , he wrapped his arms around her , and pulled her into a hug . When they were nose to nose , he leaned in and kissed her . She smiled , " I 'm not sure , Hon . We have a few hours before the succubus will come out and play . Maybe we should go and have lunch . " " You know me too well , " he replied , grasping her hand and pulled her closer to him . " There 's a small magic shop a few blocks away . I 've been meaning to visit it for some time , and they might have something that could come in handy for tonight . " He glanced at her , looking over her dress . It was a long , slinky number , black as night , that contrasted with her chocolate skin . It fit her snugly , and accented every curve of her body . Kelly had picked out his own clothing , so he wasn 't wearing his familiar garb . Instead he had on a pair of nice slacks , a simple white shirt , and an old leather jacket she had produced from her closet . He thought it made him look silly ; she thought it made him look cute . He smiled one of his all - knowing smile and said , " Good . " He fished a small glass cube filled with something out of his pocket . Whatever was inside of it moved like it was alive , pressing at the edge of the glass . " I 'm not here to deal . I 'm just here with my girlfriend , to dance and to have some fun . " He wrapped his arm around Kelly and pulled her close . " Right , " the large man replied with a snort and snagged the money out of Henry 's hand . " We 're going to keep an eye on you . If you 're dealing , you 'll be handed over to the cops . " He shot her a smile , and leaned in closer to hear her , smiling slightly . " If we have time , I would love to . I 've always enjoyed dancing . " Kelly nodded , spotting her easily , looking the same as she had the night before . Her glasses were glowing slightly , as were her eyes behind them . They didn 't look right , the color was a brownish red mixed with greens and oranges . " Flank her , " he said and pointed . " Head that way , walk around by the wall , and stop a few feet behind her . Once you 're there , I 'll take her head on . " The demon scowled at her , and snorted again . She could see fire glowing in her eyes , reflecting off the glasses . " Very well , " she said , biting out the words . " Wait till we 're outside . There 's only one way she can go . I 'll send her in your direction , and you meet her outside the door . Standing outside the door , crossbow in hand , was Henry , a hard look on his blood - covered face . He watched as the succubus collapsed , falling to her knees and letting out a gasp . The color of her skin grew lighter ; light shown through her flesh as she slowly faded away , her clothing falling to the ground where she once stood . " Yep , " he replied , wiping away some of the drying blood , from his forehead , kicking at the clothing . There was something in them that seemed to catch his eye . Putting his crossbow away , he bent down , and fished through the pile . " Now what 's this ? " he asked himself as he stood up , a simple silver ring held between his fingers . " It 's magic , " he said , answering his own question . " I 'm not sure what kind . I 'll have to look into it . " She nodded , walking over to him and taking the ring from his fingers . " First thing we 'll do is get you to a clinic . You 're going to need stitches for that cut . " " Oh ? " he asked . He reached up to touch it , wincing as his fingers brushed the wound . " I guess you 're right ; after that we should head home . " |
I live my life , one day at a time . A good portion of those days are uneventful , always falling in the same routine : I wake up , walk to work , work , walk home , then bum around until I go to bed . Some times I 'll hang with my few friends , while other times I 'll just play video games or watch My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic . Every so often , something new and interesting happens : I meet an old friend , I find a dollar on the ground , or I get chased by a stray dog . Living in a dying city isn 't very fun or interesting . This city was once full of life and color , but now . . . now most of the houses are sagging , the businesses sit empty and abandoned , and several open fields lay barren of the once great factories that helped drive the economy . I had never seen this city during those times in person , but I have seen pictures . My mother and father lived happy , and they could only wish the same for me growing up . I 've fallen into the same dull routine : Wake , work , sleep , repeat . I do have some moments of bliss , but the daily struggles I go through outweigh the small moments of joy I have . My Little Pony has helped , but it 's still just another thing to give my hopes up on . Every time I see the show , or one of the ponies on a fan site , I recoil a bit at the bright colors , the joyful faces of the ponies , and the peaceful scenery of their world . It 's so hard to look at that beautiful world , having it so close to my grasp ; I reach out to touch it 's warm colors and bright , smiling faces of the ponies . I snapped back to reality . It gets to the point where I will simply shut down my computer and walk away . I do that a lot , especially after my parents death . I go for a walk . When I feel sad , I walk . When I feel tired , I walk . When I feel like walking . . . I walk . Walking has become my second life in a sense ; I spend at least half my day outside along the crumbling side - walks and decaying suburbs . I 've seen people come and go . I 've seen buildings torn down , burned up , or have so much graffiti on its walls that its original color is unrecognizable . I very rarely pass any other people on my strolls . Most people don 't like to look at their once beautiful city , their homes or former businesses . I don 't blame them . In fact I envy them . They saw this place with their own two eyes , seeing the buildings still standing tall and proud , the lawns freshly cut , the paved roads , and sidewalks still intact . The only thing I 've ever seen that even comes close is my mother 's paintings , each of them colorful scenes of this concrete world . She started painting once everything crumbled beneath her feet , making the sad scenery before her look beautiful . Her masterpiece is of an open field that yielded a parking garage . Over it , she drew an amazing rainbow . My favorite picture . I guess that is part of why I like Rainbow Dash the most out of all the other ponies . Her colors , the amazing sonic rainboom , all remind me of that picture . There have been times I wished I had my own Rainbow Dash , or more realistically a plushie of her , to curl up in bed with . I 've made an old Simba into a " temporary " replacement , until I am able to save enough money for one . It helps , in a way . Like holding it close will heal my wounds , my pain , and my sorrow . My feet , after countless hours of walking in my old shoes , pulsate under the sheet , and all the while , I 'll hold that stuffed animal harder than a mother protecting her child . It 's the only thing I can look at and feel true joy , even if it isn 't physically the Rainbow Dash I want . Today , as usual , I walked to work . It was the same shit , just a different day , watching the same people enter the store , grab their merchandise and pay , then walk out with bags in tow . My shift ended after several hours of this . I clocked out and started walking home . I decided to use a different route this time , for a change in pace , a little something different from the normal path I walk . This part of town was hit the worst ; only a few houses still stand , and none of them occupied . It truly is a sad sight to see . Then again , it 's really the only sight I see . The only sight I 'll ever see . I was stopped by something unusual ; a stray cardboard box in the middle of the sidewalk . Now , living in this kind of area I see trash all the time . Boxes , McDonalds cups , and plastic bags litter the streets and empty fields , but rarely will I see a cardboard box that isn 't crushed in one way or another . I noticed this particular box because it happened to be in my way . During my younger years , I tried to do what I could for the community . I 'd pick up trash when I saw it , or I 'd attempt to help my neighbors . It was a losing battle . Now - a - days , I 'd given up any hope of cleaning this city , much less my neighborhood . Now I 'll just pass the trash by , letting it blow away in the breeze or sit there and decompose . I let what 's left of the " people " do their own things , since most of them don 't care about anyone other than themselves . Why should I be any different ? I walked past the box , barely giving it a glance . Nothing about it caught my attention right away . I continued on , my home not far away now . Upon arriving , I sat down down and played some games , attempting to push the box out of my mind . I had little luck , as the box somehow managed to push it 's way back in . Time crept on by , and I soon found myself wanting to go for another walk . I left the house and started down my usual route when I stopped . What was it about that box that made it stick out in my mind ? I turned around , starting down the path I had taken to get home , the path that I only walk once in a blue moon . Curiosity got the best of me , and I wanted some closure . Within minutes I found it , still sitting there , sad and alone among the broken concrete and over - grown grass . It didn 't move , it didn 't stand out as if it were special . It was an ordinary , brown cardboard box . I didn 't want to say I came out here for nothing , so I walked closer to it . As I drew closer , however , I began to notice something inside . It was brightly colored , multiple colors in fact , and was quite small . Maybe the size of a few month old Labrador puppy . This is where I currently stand : looking into the box at a small . . . something . No , I know exactly what it is , but my brain isn 't allowing me to fully realize it just yet . At first I want to say it 's simply a toy , left to die along with all the other things in this block . But then I saw it breathing . In fact , it appears to be sleeping . My hands are sweating , my breathing erratic , and I 'm blinking my eyes trying to refresh my vision . I kneel down , trying to get a closer look into the box . I can 't believe what I am seeing . There is not a physical , mental , or extraterrestrial way how this could be here . . . how she could be here , in my gloomy , dark and horrid world . I examine the box further , and on the side in simple pen says " Give to good home . " The first thought that runs through my mind , besides the initial " Filly Rainbow Dash in a box " , is " Who would give up a filly Rainbow Dash ? " My mind is now a mess of questions . How did she get here ? Why is she here ? Why is she a filly ? Her flank is even barren of her cutie mark , meaning she is indeed a filly . As I stand to stretch my tired legs , I accidentally bump the side of the box with my foot , and the inevitable occurs : she wakes up . She looks around , rubbing her face with a foreleg , trying to wake herself up . At first all she sees are the brown walls of the box , but then she looks up to me . Those large black eyes , along with the rose - colored rim around them , drive my heart to , as the meme goes , explode . . . twice . The sheer cuteness of it all drives me to kneel back down , and I can 't hold back a smile . I haven 't smiled like this in years , since the last time me and my parents went out to the only remaining park in the area . She looks around , then back to me . The more I study her , the more I realize she is really young ; years younger than her filly appearance in episode twenty three . She might not even be able to talk yet . . . that is , if she even can talk in my world . The fact that she is even existing right now has me reeling in confusion . I return my attention back to her , and notice a small shiver of her body . The fall season is here , and it can get pretty cold , especially around mid - September . I 'm not sure how to exactly tackle this situation ; do I take her home ? Do I call someone ? Who would I even call ? I 'm a closet brony , so none of my friends know about my love of the show . I can 't take her to a shelter . . . that 's a stupid thought in the first place . Not only would it be a horrible sight , she might be taken off to some lab and experimented on or something just as equally horrible . I have only one choice . She shakes once more as the cool air reaches her coat ; her wings ruffle as she lays back down and huddles her legs closer to her body to keep warm . That 's the final straw , I can 't take anymore . I take off my own jacket , and reach down and pick her up . I get the initial response I expected ; fear . She begins to squirm around , unsure what I 'm doing to her . She can 't fly yet , but she still flutters her wings as in praying for a miracle to happen that she does magically take flight . I set her into my jacket , wrap her up so that her head is sticking out , and hold her in my arm . She continues to squirm , but then my body heat begins to finally seep through the thin jacket and she settles down . I think she understands me , for after I say those words her eyes return to their normal size , and she snuggles herself more comfortably inside my jacket . She squirms a little , trying to get into a more comfortable position . I can feel her hooves and wings poking me as she shifts . Then , to top it off , she rests her chin onto my arm and lets out a deep sigh , closing her eyes to drift off to sleep . The entire walk back , I keep an eye out for other people who could pass by me . I don 't want anyone else to see her . I have no way of knowing how they would react . As usual though , I don 't see a single person . It 's midnight by the time I get home ; fortunately for us both , I had turned on my porch light , otherwise I might have passed it . Being one of the few occupied homes on the block meant a lot of darkness . The city even stopped running power to street lights , so that made it all the more difficult . I glanced down at the filly , who continued to sleep in the jacket as I carried her . She was no longer shivering , and felt quite warm . I walk up to my porch , careful not to make too much noise as I get my keys out , unlock the two dead bolts , the master lock , and finally the door knob , and open my door . It is dark inside , due to me leaving while it was still light out . With a flick of a switch , the single bulb in the hallway comes to life , shedding some light into the living room . Most of the furnishings are my parent 's . Then again , so is the house . I became the owner of it after their passing , and have done what I can to keep it that way . Still with the filly Rainbow Dash in my arm , I walk into the living room . As I pass my family portrait , I greet it with a " Hello mom , hello dad . " I know they aren 't there , but knowing that they loved me , and that I love them , helps me stay sane , and to keep going in my miserable life . As I enter the living room , I can feel stirring in my arm . She had woken up , most likely when I turned on the light , and is now getting antsy . With no idea what to do or how to tackle the situation , I set her down on the couch . I didn 't mean to ask that out loud , but it just sort of happens every now and then . Only seeing my few friends once in a great while , I find myself talking to , well , myself a lot . I don 't own a pet , because that just means more money to dish out and I 'm already struggling as it is . From my question , the only response is another blank look on her face . That tells me she has no clue either . Then again , what else should I expect from a filly that can 't even talk yet . The next few hours are spent giving her the " grand tour " of my house . Nothing amazing to see , and I avoid taking her into my bedroom out of fear that the large amount of dirty clothes would swallow her up . Afterwords , I give her something to eat . I break up some small carrots , and amazingly I discover she has some teeth . Since she is still a filly , I wasn 't sure if she could eat solid foods such as carrots yet . Then again , she is from a cartoon so I don 't know what is " correct " for her anyway . Satisfied with the food , she finds a comfy spot in my father 's recliner and sits . I don 't mind , it 's not like I sit in it . I was never allowed to when he was alive , so why should that change even after his passing ? It 's his chair . But I 'm not gonna be mean to the filly for not knowing that , so I let her sit where she is most comfortable . I also give her a small blanket to wrap herself in , due to my house 's current temperature . It 's not as cold as it is outside , but my furnace has had problems since before my parents passing . There was a trick to fixing it , but that died along with my father . I must have fallen asleep at some point . I honestly expected myself to be wide awake due to such an interesting event , but after the long hours at work and staying up to take care of Dash , my body had other plans . I 'm not sure how long I was out before I awoke , but it doesn 't matter ; as I close my eyes , I feel something against my side . I look , and sleeping beside me is the small cyan filly ; her rainbow mane and tail still , her head resting on the inside of my elbow . Laying there , sleeping and curled up beside me had me smiling ear to ear . Her gentle breaths are barely heard . The hairs on her mane tickle my arm , but I hold back any movement to itch . The warmth of her body against my stomach warms my already weak heart . Though a few months isn 't a long time , it 's how long I have wanted a moment like this . My own little pony , a Rainbow Dash plushie to sleep with and hold tight . And now I have a real Rainbow Dash , a filly , sleeping at my side ; content as though she 's known me since birth . Right now , there is nothing else that matters to me . My despair , my sore feet and painful heart all go unnoticed as nothing else can come remotely close to the feeling I have right now ; this joy I am experiencing at this moment as I lay awake on my couch . She is here . She is real . Right now , she is my little pony . She is . . . my little Dashie . It has been only four months since I brought the young Rainbow Dash into my home . I 've done what little " research " I could on the matter , but I have come to no conclusions . I have no idea why she is here , and quite frankly , I don 't even care anymore . These few months with her have been the most amazing time of my life . She has opened my heart up to love and joy , among other things . Right now , she sits next to me on the couch as I watch television . She seems to enjoy the morning cartoons on the local stations , and I myself have come to enjoy them . She acts much like a young child would . Then again why wouldn 't she ? Another amazing feat is she has been learning to talk . I 'm not much of a teacher , or for that matter a parent , but I am doing my best to help her learn to speak and read . I don 't know how , or even where to begin to attempt in teaching her to write . From the show they did it with their mouths , but I will let that go for now . Once she is a little older , if I even have her that long , I will do what I can to teach her . It used to be that a year would go by slowly . I would look forward to the new year , in hopes of getting a fresh start . Now though , I feel as if this year went by a little too quickly for me . I 've decided , since I have no knowledge of her actual birth - date , to make the day I found her her birthday . September the seventeenth . . . oddly enough , that 's the very same date that the second season of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic aired last year . I quit watching the show after Dashie came into my life . There was no reason for me to continue , and honestly , I don 't have much time to myself anymore . It would be hard to hide me watching the show , and even harder to explain the situation if she were to ever see it , especially at her current age . She knew her name was Rainbow Dash , but I have come to calling her Pinkie 's pet name of " Dashie " , and she has no problem with it . She can fully communicate with me now , as well as read English , and she 's even starting to learn how to write with , you guessed it , her mouth . I tried to " invent " some devices for her hoof so she could write , but it seems writing with her mouth is more natural than moving her hoof around . One thing now troubles me with her . Every day she sits at a window , looking outside . I 'm not worried about her being seen by passerby 's . I 'm on a dead end street , so that 's the least of my worries . Still , though she doesn 't say anything to me yet , I can see the hunger for fresh air in her eyes . I can 't keep her in here her entire life . Ha . . . I keep talking like she is going to be here forever . That isn 't true . One day , some day , she will return home , whether it 'll be a simple " poof " and she 's gone , or through some magical spell and Twilight shows up and takes her home to fix everything . In my heart , I hope that never happens . In my head , I know it will . It 's just a matter of when . I do hope to get her outside soon . I 've been checking out some of the abandoned lots and former parks on my walks to and from work , seeing where the best location would be to take her . Oddly enough , it seems the park I had played at growing up is the best option . That shall be it then , I shall take her to the park . How will I get her there ? She 's still relatively small , so she can be hidden inside a jacket or something . Tomorrow is supposed to be a nice day , anyway . She did it . After two years in my care , and having absolutely no knowledge of flight myself , I helped her learn to fly . She 's gotten quite big in only a couple years , and it was getting hard to hide her when we walked to the park . I got so desperate to keep her hidden , I bought a dog costume for her to put on , so she could walk there unnoticed . She was not happy . So , I got some books from the library and read up on teaching birds to fly . I would have looked on the internet , but I fear she would become curious of it herself . There are a lot of horrors on the internet , and she 's not ready for it . In hind sight it 's bad enough she is experiencing television , but she has come to enjoy Spongebob and Nascar too much for me to take that away from her . Back to the flying . I 've been taking her to that old park for weeks , in hopes I could help her learn how to fly . There is a large tree there , with branches sticking out over a sandbox . The perfect spot for her to practice . If she falls , and I can 't catch her , at least she 'll have something remotely soft to land on . She fell a lot . I knew she would fall a lot . There were many scrapes , cuts , and bruises toward her goal , but finally , after many weeks of work , she flew . It was only a short distance , about fifty feet , but she still did it . She 's a little scraped up , but she 's beaming with pride . Maybe now she could fly overhead , so that the few people on the ground don 't notice her . I 'll have to see if she can manipulate clouds like she could in the show ; it would make it much easier to take her places . Then she can hide on a cloud as we go to the park . Another thing that has been brought to my attention . She asked me about having her own room . I got thinking , and realized the house does have a spare bedroom , though my parents had filled it with my old school stuff from my younger years , as well as several of my old toys . She might enjoy them , though she is getting older I 'm not sure how entertaining they will be for her . If she has her own room , I can get her her own things , so that she can feel somewhat normal . She 's pretty smart for a filly , and knows about the difference between our species , but she still knows nothing about her origin . She is not ready yet ; the only thing I can do is keep her happy . If you told me four years ago I 'd be taking care of a cartoon , rainbow colored pony , I 'd call you insane . I probably am in all reality , but I don 't care . I 'm happy . She 's happy . Today is a day for celebration , for today , my little Dashie got her cutie mark . I honestly didn 't know how to tackle that fact . She didn 't even know what it was until I explained it to her . Now she 's even more ecstatic than before . It was a normal park outing , but this time she decided she wanted to see how high she could get . I had limited her to how high she could fly , but honestly I can 't do anything about what she does up there . I can 't fly , so the most I could do is tell her to be careful . Somewhere she got it in her head to see just how fast she could fly , probably due to her being a Nascar and , well , a general racing fan . For some time she was trying to make up tricks and stunts of her own , giving them names . I 'd just sit on a bench I had fixed up and cheer her on . No one was ever around anymore . In fact , on that block , I think the last person left over a year ago . There are rumors the entire area is going to be bought out by some company however , and all this turned into a large manufacturing area . I don 't know how I feel about that . . . but it 's not important now . Right now , I 'm so over come with joy that my Dashie now knows her place . Granted this isn 't her world , she is still the same Rainbow Dash from the show . . Regardless of how I raised her , she has that same spunk and attitude from the show . And now , she has her cutie mark . Anyway , she climbed to quite a height in an attempt to gain speed from a fall . Well , all the right things factored for her ; how she positioned herself , her mental focus , and possibly me on the ground watching and cheering her on , but she did it . She broke the sound barrier , and created a sonic rainboom overhead . Now , I didn 't even imagine it was possible to accomplish such a feat in my world . I knew you could break the sound barrier , but actually do the rainbow part too ? My mind is blown . So , the initial explosion brought upon many broken windows and sent off car alarms in the next county . I quickly rounded her up and we rushed home before anyone could arrive at the park . I was lucky none of my windows were broken . The rest of the day was spent celebrating . It just so happened today was her fourth birthday . I have no way of knowing how old she actually was when I got her , so I just started over . I would have bought a cake , but due to the boom all the businesses were closed and needed new windows . So , we made a cake on our own . Apparently the fan fiction writers got it right : she can 't bake at all . Granted I 'm not the best myself , but it was still a mess . But we had fun , she enjoyed herself , and she is happy . Therefore , I am happy . Though that was her highlight of the day , mine was just moments ago . She has now come accustom to sleeping in her own room versus with me out on the couch . I actually stopped sleeping in my room , and kept her company in the living room up until recently . Now I can sleep on my own bed once more , but I keep my door unlocked , so if she needs me , she can get me . I had just tucked her into bed and told her goodnight when she said it . I haven 't been on the internet in , what , three years now ? I don 't know how the My Little Pony thing online is doing , or what memes are still alive or not . But damn it all , I 'm gonna say it cause it 's true ! My heart exploded twice ! For the first time , not only did she call me daddy , which she has done on occasion , but she even said . . . " I love you . " For a moment , I didn 't know what to say or what to do . I 've never been in this sort of situation before . But I remembered what my mother and father used to do . So , I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and told her the same thing . She smiled at me , then closed her eyes to sleep . I walked out , turned off her light , making sure her Spongebob nightlight was on , of course , closed her door , then sat down on the couch . I haven 't moved for an hour now , I 'm so lost in thought . The few times she had called me " daddy , " I didn 't think anything of it . I could picture why she called me that . Being with her so much made me accept it as part of taking care of her . But tonight when she said those three words , the realization finally sunk into my heart . I am her daddy . She considers me her daddy . And quite frankly , I consider her my daughter . Even though we are of a totally different species , I still love her with all my heart . And it has taken her to speak those words to me for me to finally realize that . I think I have finally done it . I have broken my hard shell that had formed when my parents died . I 've let a sweet little filly into my life . I gave her a home to live in , food to eat , and now a daddy to love . She has given me hope , love , compassion , and now something I thought I 'd never utter : a daughter . I still speculate when the time is going to arise that she goes back to Equestria . And each day it gets harder for me to imagine when that actually happens . I just hope that she never forgets me , because I will never forget her . I believe Dashie is now at her full size . Rounding in at about three feet tall , she is fully grown . Though she is still only ten years old according to my math , I believe she is actually more along the lines of fourteen or fifteen possibly in actual years . So , we celebrated five missed birthdays and officially moving day . That 's right , moving day . We moved from my parents house , thanks to me finally saving up enough money , plus getting lucky at a casino . We bought a nice house a hundred miles away from the city . It 's got a lot of open land , there isn 't another house within five miles , and it 's just me and her . Now she can fly around all she wants , whenever she wants . She is truly happy , though she does miss the old park . It 's gone now , along with anything else left in the area . A large business bought all the land up , flattened it , and built a large factory there . It was an amazing boom to the economy , and people are starting to build homes again ! I 'm glad , but . . . it just wasn 't for us . That amount of people would hinder her going outside , and I 'm not going to force her to stay inside all day unless it 's raining out . I 've gotten a new job , one that pays much more than my old one . Dashie even talked about getting a job , but then she remembered what I told her . The look on her face was heartbreaking . We were enjoying a cake we made , which I must add we have improved upon that skill , when she brought it up . I jokingly said she can 't due to her being a pony and I laughed . She remained silent . My god I 'm horrible . I . . . I just laughed because my daughter is different . I apologized for hours , and even though she says she understands , I know she is still hurt . Lucky , I have a way to fix this . Due to the sheer size of the property , it involves a lot of cutting of grass . Tomorrow I will modify a lawn mower for her to use , so that she can have a job . I 'll even pay her , so that she can buy her own stuff if she wants . Though I 'd have to get it for her , still she can actually say she worked for something . According to the show , she was a weather pony . And I don 't have her mess with mother nature unless it 's a dire emergency , so there isn 't really any job to be had there . I still can 't believe I 've had her for ten years now . My god , time goes so fast . . . I wish it would slow down , so that I could have more time with her . I don 't know when , but I have the sudden feeling our time together is running out . All of this has been too good to be true . Today has to have been the worst time of my life , even more than when my parents died . Due to events I could not prepare for , Dashie found out the truth before I could tell her myself . She knows what she is , a made up cartoon character from a kids television show . She is mad , no , upset beyond all thought . She had locked herself in her room , but I know my daughter . She didn 't stay in there long . She opened her window and flew off , probably into a tree to sulk in her sorrow . I should have told her sooner , I just wasn 't sure when would be the right time . Now we are both suffering for my carelessness . I thought getting cable would be a good thing , give her some more shows to watch , but what I didn 't realize was that we got the HUB station . I wasn 't even aware it was still up , and find my surprise the show My Little Pony is still even AIRING ! It had stopped at eight seasons , but still it was repeated . " YAY ! SHE DID IT ! " Fluttershy had screamed , jumping with joy as Applejack , Twilight , and Pinkie Pie all sat on the clouds with dumbfounded looks on their faces . My heart sank . . . I knew this episode . . . I remembered this episode . Even after seeing nothing for twelve years . . . I still remember that damn episode . In that episode , Rainbow Dash performs the sonic rainboom , much like how my Dashie had years ago . At the time I was still holding my keys . . . and I dropped them . They clanged on the wood floor ; if she didn 't know I was home before , she knew now . Most of them stemmed from the show , to which I simply told her what I truly believed . That though she is the Rainbow Dash from the show , that she herself is a different pony from the cartoon . I tried to explain it to her , but her bullheadedness took over as she continued to lash at me . I took it all . I deserved it all . I 've been keeping that horrible secret from her for far too long . She is now a fully grown mare , capable of taking care of herself if she were in Equestria . Here , I treat her still like she was my little filly . It 's been wrong of me , but I couldn 't help it . I didn 't want this to ever happen , but I knew it would . I should have done what was right , but I didn 't . It was only a matter of time before she found out , and she knew she was different . After our argument , she flew upstairs into her bedroom , and slammed her door shut . I checked on her an hour later , and no response told me she had flown off . I can only hope that she comes back , or at least , if she doesn 't , she stays away from any other people . If anything , I hope some sort of portal opens up and she goes back to her world , and never has to think of me again . All I can say to her at this point , is that I 'm sorry . It 's been three days since Dashie left . The night of her departure , I did something I hadn 't done in a long time : I went for a walk . I wasn 't sure where I was going , or how long I walked , but that 's what I did . I walked . Now , three days later I 'm finding myself out here walking once again . I 've been out for roughly three hours , and though it is only five in the afternoon , it has grown dark . A storm is brewing , and soon I will be getting hit by the brunt of it . I turn around to begin my walk home , though I don 't rush . My energy these past few days has been non existent , as I have barely eaten anything more than some toast . I feel so lost as I walk through the woods that surround my home . No , our home . It is as much hers as it is mine , and nothing will change that . The rain has begun , but I do not quicken my pace . I just walk , much like I had done so long ago . The distant memories of all my pain and sorrow before Dashie begin to seep back into my mind . I haven 't had these thoughts in years . The pats of water on the tree leaves help keep me distracted . It 's a peaceful sound , one you would never hear in the city . The rain is picking up as my shirt is now soaking wet . I 'm sure I will be sick tomorrow morning , but I don 't care . I 've been sick for three days now ; a mental illness that has been tearing me apart . My daughter is somewhere out here , hurting , needing some comfort and warmth in this rain . I wish I could be there for her , even though she may not want me to . She may not ever want to see me again from how she acted . I don 't blame her . . . it must be such a horrible thing finding out your past like that . I can 't even imagine what it would be like . I know Dashie is a strong mare , and she can pull through . But I also know how she holds a grudge at times . I 'm not sure that , even if she did come back , she would ever forgive me . Or more importantly , if I could even forgive myself . It 's now pouring out here . The tree canopies are barely holding back the torrential rain as I 'm hammered by the water droplets . I stop to look around , and find my bearings to return home . I 'm not lost ; most of this area is easy to traverse once you get used to it . It 's just I 'm also looking for Dashie as I walk . It 's the reason why I 'm walking in the forest in the first place . I press on , keeping a steady pace through this rain . Suddenly , I spy a large , thick tree . Its stature sticks out amongst the rest , and from looking at the barely wet grass underneath I can tell its many branches are holding back even this hard rain . I need to take a break , so I walk under the tree and sit down . The grass is barely wet , with only a few small droplets making their ways down . I close my eyes , and lean against the tree hulk as I think about my life . . . our life , together as a father and daughter . We have grown so much as a family , and have been fortunate enough to have very few fights . None of them were as heart - breaking as the one three days ago . I feel a tear running down my cheeks as I imagine Dashie 's face again . The anger in her eyes , mixed with the confusion , just tears me apart . I want so badly to make things right , or go back in time and stop it from happening . But I can 't do either of those . What 's done is done . I speak out loud , not caring for no one is listening . I 'm alone in these woods , besides the wild - life . In this rain they are hiding as well , and the ones that aren 't are far from a being such as I . I continue to cry as I keep my eyes closed , and leaning against the tree . The rain continues to pour around me . An occasional drop hits my head , but I don 't care . I open my eyes from the sudden sound , and look to my left . I 'm shocked at what I see before me , looking at me with teary eyes herself . Dashie , my little Dashie , covered in burrs and tree sap along her mane and tail , is standing a couple feet from me . She is wet , with both rain and tears . I hadn 't heard her approach , then again being a Pegasus she was very quiet and light on her hooves . She doesn 't speak , and instead walks over to me , not caring what noises she makes under her hooves . I don 't move ; I just sit on the ground and watch with my own wet eyes . She looked so horrible , and yet so beautiful at the same time . Her coat would need a good cleaning , but that was the least of my worries . Without a word , she sits next to me , not making eye contact as she looks off into the woods . I can only look at her , wishing to hug her tightly and never let her go again . But I hold back , knowing that it would be too sudden . Finally , she is first to speak . " Of course , Dashie . I 've always loved you . I still love you , no matter what . Not even a small fight such as ours could ever change that . " She returns the hug , as we sit there and cry together . We continue to apologize , me for the truth and her for raising her voice and storming out . After some time , the rain subsides while we remain under the tree . I let out a chuckle , and she too laughs as I stand . We make our trip back home ; she is smiling again . I am too . I 've been giving it some thought , and I think I shall give her her birthday present a little early . A ticket to the Indy 500 . Yes , I 'm taking her to the Indy 500 . She can simply sit on some clouds and watch while I 'm in the stands . I didn 't even have to get her a ticket , but she needs some sort of reminder of her visit . I 'm sure she will have a blast , and though I don 't expect this to make everything right , I can only hope it cheers her up some . With some time , I 'm sure she will relax and settle down about her being in the cartoon . She 's a smart mare , and knows she is real , not that made up pony from the cartoon . I can only help push her to believing that , and hope she does the same to me . There is a point in every parents life when they have to let their child go . Whether it be for the better or for the worst , it must happen at some point . I now sit here in my living room , by myself , sulking over photographs of my distant memories of me and Dashie . On her twentieth birthday , I had planned a special outing to go see a flight show . As we prepared to leave , there was a knocking at the door . Never in the years we have lived there had anyone knocked at the door . Hell , we hadn 't even made arrangements if someone did show up . I simply told her to go to her room while I took care of it . Once I heard her door shut , calmly and collectively I asked who it was knocking , expecting some stranger possibly lost on his or her travels . A female voice spoke in such a elegant , yet attention grabbing tone I felt myself listening to her with the utter most attention . She asked if she may come in ; a question I 'd normally refuse within a heartbeat , and yet something about her voice was reminiscent . I couldn 't help but walk over and open the door . When I first saw the figure standing on my porch , I wasn 't sure if I was dreaming or hallucinating . Standing there , was the radiant and majestic Princess Celestia . I was at a loss of words ; fighting both emotions of brony excitement which I had only felt when I first found Dashie , and emotions of sorrow for I knew what this meant . She stood there another second looking at me ; we matched each other in eye level , her body being the size of a nearly full grown horse . I stepped back , and allowed her to enter . What caught me off guard next , was the five other ponies that followed suit . First Twilight Sparkle , then the rest of the gang : Applejack , Rarity , Fluttershy , and lastly Pinkie Pie bounced in . " Ooooh , so this is what an alien house looks like on the insi - OH MY ! YOU HAVE A KITCHEN ! I 'm starving , are you starving ? I can make us some - " Pinkie took that as an " ok " and ran into the kitchen with much vigor . It seemed I did not even need to tell her where anything was ; she instantly knew where everything was placed . Factor it to either dumb luck or it simply being Pinkie Pie . . . I chose the latter . " Ah 'll go keep an eye on her , " Applejack said , walking to join the hyper pony . As she passed , she tipped her hat to me . I was finding it odd the ponies were not more hesitant around a creature such as me . Then again , the same could be said for myself , but having Dashie for fifteen years I grew used to having such a thing around me . Now , I have five other ponies and a full sized goddess horse looking at me with the same amount of curiosity that I held for them . My heart fell into the pits of my stomach . I did know , and she was straight to the point about it . During all these years , I had anticipated this moment , but as time drug on that thought slowly dispelled until it was just nothing more than a minor nip in my mind . That 's when it always happens , you know ; when everything is finally perfect and you don 't have to worry anymore . I wanted to punch that pony so hard right then ; how she responded insulted me , " Friendly ? That 's not even the beginning of it . And I should be asking you ponies as to what the hell you did ? " Twilight bit her lip , as her teacher continued , " Yes , of course . Ahem , she was working on a spell to help the weather team with some storm development . Well , they made slightly too large of a storm , and when Twilight used her magic to try and dispel it , it shot a lightning bolt meeting her magic . Rainbow Dash was unfortunate enough to be within reach of the blast , and it engulfed her and sent her to , well , here . So , we are here to retrieve her , simple enough I 'd imagine . " That second my heart stopped beating as I looked from pony to pony . Each one 's face was in pure shock and confusion . They recognized the voice of their Rainbow Dash , but she said " Dad . " " Yea Dashie , I 'm coming up . We . . . " I looked back down to the group of ponies as they watched me ascend , " . . . we need to talk . " So that 's what I did . I told her who was down there , and that they were there to take her back . She had seen the cartoon every so often after some time , and found the wacky adventures entertaining . She had given up any thought that the Rainbow Dash in the show was her , and only viewed it as another cartoon . As I talked to her , and explained that those very ponies she didn 't believe in were downstairs , she brushed me off with some laughs . She didn 't believe me , and thought I was playing some joke on her . So , I took her down into the living room . Dashie was quick to shove the pink pony off , " Hey , get away from me ! " She was taken back by the sudden amount of ponies filling our living room . They all looked to her with worried expressions as to why she shoved her closest friend away . " No , or any of you , " Dashie continued . It hurt me in so many ways . I knew these were her friends , but so many things have happened differently that she didn 't know the truth fully . And neither did they , so I had to explain to them . I was speechless . Fifteen days ago ? Shit , she 's been with me for fifteen years ! That means a day in their world meant a year here . " I understand , the ' dad ' now makes sense , " Celestia cut me off , holding a stern look about her face . She was thinking , trying to piece together in her mind what had possibly happened . I chalked it up to the magic , being unstable possibly reverted her in age . I looked to the princess , trying to read her face . No matter how good I had gotten at reading Dashie 's face , Princess Celestia had the best poker face I had ever seen . I had no clue what she was thinking , or feeling at this moment . " Well , it 's quite simple . Twilight ? " Celestia looked to her pupil , who instantly perked up hearing her name , " Do you still remember that memory spell ? From the Discord incident ? " I knew what was going on , what Celestia had in mind . She wanted Twilight to either erase her memories and start from anew . Or , possibly , I hoped she just simply wanted to give Dashie her memories of their friendships and time in Ponyville . I wasn 't sure what to do , I felt it was right . I knew it was right , and needed to be done . I had been telling myself that for fifteen years as I waited for this moment . But there was something I needed to say before it happened . These ponies were going to take my Dashie away , and I had some words to speak before that could happen . " No , wait please , " I started . Twilight stopped , and looked to the sun goddess , " Just , give me a moment with her please . All I ask , since . . . since this is the last time we 'll see each other . " I had given up holding back my tears , and at this point was openly crying . The ponies could tell I was hurting , and Dashie didn 't look to be faring too well either . So , figuring it wasn 't good to prolong the inevitable , I walked over to the chair Dashie sat in , knelt down to meet her eye level as I spoke . " Dashie , my little Dashie . I love you with all my heart . You have done wonders to open me up from the man I once was . You . . . " I had to pause a moment , to settle down , " . . . you have brought me so much joy in my life that I can 't possibly ever thank you for . " " These fifteen years we have had together , talking , playing , flying ; all those have been so special to me . I just want you to know , that I will forever love you . It doesn 't matter if we aren 't biologically related , or of different worlds . I don 't care what you may ever think of me , or if you ever even remember me , but right now , you being my Dashie , I want you , " I poked her on the chest , to physically show I was talking to her , " to know that fact . If there is ever a problem that happens , and you need me , don 't hesitate to find a way to get me , okay ? " I tried to laugh , passing the last part off as a joke . It worked , only slightly , as we both continued to cry . I could also hear some sniffling from behind me ; I could only picture Pinkie Pie crying much like she had at the end of the second episode in season one , after Luna and Celestia had been reunited . It had been a few years since she had actually called me " daddy . " Most of the time it was simply " dad " or " pops " . It felt good , knowing she still cared for me enough to call me daddy , much like the first times she had said it to me , so many years ago . I simply nodded my head , as I stood up . Before I could fully grasp my balance , she jumped up onto me and hugged me tight . I could feel her tears on the back of my neck , and I returned the embrace . It hurt so much to say , but I had to keep her convinced that this was the right thing to do , " No , you don 't . You are limited here , only able to fly around the house . You have no friends , or other ponies to relate to . I was only taking care of you until this time would come , but I never thought it would be this painful . " At this point all the other ponies had tears flowing , even the goddess herself . She had seemed quite smug about knowing what had happened , the time difference and such , but it was evident that the age difference was a shock . She most likely had expected to find a thirty five year old Rainbow Dash , but instead found my twenty year old Dashie . Twilight stepped closer to Rainbow Dash , sniffling once before her horn glowed . I knew what was coming , it hurt so much . . . but I knew it was right . It was what had to happen , for her , for her friends , and in a twisted way for me . Now I could know she was actually going home , and would be around her friends and could fly where ever and when ever she wanted to , without any limitations . She could enjoy friends company once more . Before anypony or myself could protest , she flew up to her room . She was quick , and returned with a shoe box in her front hooves . I wasn 't sure if she would be allowed to take anything back with her , and half expected the princess to protest . But she remained quiet , allowing Dashie to quickly write down something on a piece of paper and set it on the coffee table . She looked back to me , still crying , but with a smile on her face . I knew she had realized this was how it must end , and knew I knew that as well . The box , from my guessing , was probably her most cherished items that she kept for if she had to leave . Though it hurt me thinking about it , I hoped she had a picture of us . Then again , I also hoped not , for she would be forced to remember me a world away , and that hurt just as much as everything else . " I 'm so sorry Rainbow Dash . " Twilight started . " I . . . I honestly wish there was another way to do this . I wish I didn 't have to do this . But . . . " " Rainbow Dash - " Princess Celestia started , " He cannot join you in our world much like how you cannot stay in his . This was all never meant to be , and the world around us was not made to house you . And yet . . . " Celestia looked to me , smiling , then began to look around our living room . All the photos of us together , all her knick knacks and belongings strewn around the room , " . . . and yet , something beautiful happened here . Something I cannot explain in full . " " When I realized where you ended up , I expected the worst . I figured you to be ruined , tainted and tarnished from this world 's cruelty . But now , I see that it 's quite the opposite . That here , this man that has raised you , shows me that you were in good hooves - Or , hands as it were . " Celestia then returned to looking at me , still smiling , " I cannot speak for you , but from what I see in front of me , the amount of love you both share and have shared together , tells me that you raised her as if she was your own . Even with the obvious differences , you still raised her un - biased as to her species , her origins . You raised her as your daughter , which only makes this entire ordeal so much worse . " " So , I must say to you , dear sir , please do not hold my student accountable for this . It was never her , nor anypony elses intention to cause this much hurt to either of you . If you must blame somepony , I would ask you to blame me . I am the one that helped bring them here , to take Rainbow Dash back to her home . . . away from here . " I just couldn 't look at any of them . My heavy breathing breaking down with sobs . My mind was just going on her own , thinking back at all the things Dashie and I did together . I took a deep breath as I spoke , " These have been the best 15 years of my life . So , if anything , I feel quite the opposite ; I wish to thank you , Twilight , and the rest of you . Thank you , for what you did , though not intentional . Thank you , for all that came out of this . And finally thank you , for all my years , my life , and my love . . . with Dashie . " I tried to smile at Twilight between the sobs , but she looked on the edge of tears herself , and could only look away , before she cried herself . " No need for thanks , good sir . Instead , I wish to thank you , for taking care of one of my little ponies . She would have never made it without someone much like yourself . " Celestia closed her eyes , and then leaned her horn towards me . I didn 't move ; I wasn 't sure what was going on as she touched her horn to my head . I felt a sudden warmth rush through my body . She drew her horn away , still smiling as she stepped back . It seemed time slowed down as Twilight 's horn approached Dashie 's forehead . My mind began forcing random memories of us together . I can vividly remember the splashing of the bathtub from her bath times , before she showered herself . I can still taste our many failed attempts at baking and cooking in general . I still smell the outdoors from our times at the park , where she was able to spread her wings . There were so many memories , that I simply had to shut off my brain so that I could keep myself focused on Dashie . Finally , Twilight 's horn touched Dashie 's forehead . There was a bright light , and when I could see again they were all gone . All the ponies had disappeared . Through my tears , I sighed in relief . It felt wrong , but it also felt right . She was now the normal Rainbow Dash that belonged in Ponyville . I stood in the living room for several more minutes , just staring blankly at the empty floor that Dashie had been standing at just moments before . Then , I looked around the room and took notice at my surroundings ; I noticed things were different . Pictures that once held images of me and Dashie no longer hung from the walls . Many of the random personal items of hers were scattered around the living room were gone as well . I was confused , so I ran up to her bedroom to look . When I opened the door , what I saw instead of her Nascar and air show posters mixed with her bed and other furnishings . . . was a simple office . A cheap desk with a computer on it and an ugly looking potted plant . It took me some time to digest what I was experiencing , before I realized what must have happened . It made sense , but it still stung me in my chest . To make sure nothing happened between worlds , Celestia must have removed any existence of Dashie ever being here . Being with me . Fifteen years , all down the drain as her existence was wiped from the planet . I felt as though all those years were for naught , wasted as I wouldn 't be able to remember her . And yet . . . my memories still lingered of her . I could remember everything as if it were still as vivid as when they happened . Then the thought clicked : she did something with her magic when she touched me with her horn . Did . . . did she protect my memories so that I would remember her ? Had she done the same for Dashie ? I walked back downstairs , and into the living room while I thought . On the coffee table , sat a book . I recognized it ; it was my photo album . I sat down on my couch , opened it up to the first page . There , was my mother and father with me shortly after I was born . I continued to flip through them , looking at my own past . There was a gap after my parents died , but to keep my mother 's dream going I had picked it back up . Making false pictures of happy times and enjoying my life to stick into her book of memories . Then , I opened up to a piece of paper . I picked it up , and immediately recognized the hand writing . Or more correct , mouth writing . I speculated this was what she had written down before she left . For fifteen years you took care of me . For fifteen years you loved me , played with me , and made sure I enjoyed my life in a world not meant to house me . I 'm not a mare of many words , but even though I told you this in person , I felt you needed a written version of it so you will know it was all real . I love you daddy . You helped shape me into the mare I am now . I 'm not sure what is going to happen , if I will remember any of this or not , but I want you to know that you did a darn good job of raising me , even if I was a bit stubborn at times and short with you during others . I set the note back into the page , flattening it with my hand as I felt the dried tear marks littering the paper . I read the note over and over and over again , until I had it memorized . Then , I turn the page , and was greeted with Dashie 's filly smile . So now I sit here , looking through my photo album of our time together . Her first bath , her first words , her first drawing , even her first preened feather , all in this book of memories . Everything else in the house is gone , but what I had put into this book still remains . I don 't dare ever change that either , but I will continue to add to it . To show that those years with her helped not only shape herself , but helped shape me as well . I am a new man from what I was fifteen years ago . Changed , given another chance by a sheer miracle of fortunate events that transpired from somewhere I can 't even speculate . If I had never gone back and checked that box . . . if I had done something different than I had . . . could have changed everything between us . I guess I 'm lucky that it all worked out . I can gladly say I have achieved my parent 's only wish ; for me to be happy . Though I am saddened , I am still happy for the time I had with her . I now sit alone in this empty house , staring at my mother 's rainbow picture with a smile plastered on my face ; every time I see it , I think of Dashie . I should be crying , I should feel horrible and want nothing but my daughter back . And yet , I feel relieved to know that everything is alright . She didn 't run away , or leave on bad terms ; she is gone , home , to where she belongs , and is safe . I look back down to my photo album , turning to the page after our most recent photo . The pages are blank . I still have a lot of life ahead of me , and I plan to make the best of it . 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As a freshman in high school , I thought I was just about the most grown up person that lived . For reasons that only Mother Nature could understand I had grown into a body that looked at least three years older than my real age . Even my sister , who was two years older , was jealous of my figure and complexion . Mom used to joke about her being the only person she knew who wore hand - me - downs from her little sister . As a result , I began my ninth year of school riding a real wave . The only problem is that my emotions and judgment were still that of an impressionable thirteen - year - old girl . Therefore , when our class sponsor , Mr . Reeves , asked me to be his special assistant , I fell for his suggestion without thinking what was involved . Mr . Reeves was an absolutely gorgeous hunk ! He was of Hispanic descent , with a kind of permanent tan , thick black hair and an incredible build and amazingly white teeth which he flashed often . He was an assistant football coach in addition to teaching Spanish and Social Studies . It was during the second week of school when Mr . Reeves asked me to come to his office after lunch . Since I had a free period , I was only too happy to comply . In the decade of the nineties , I would have known better , perhaps I should have known better in 1982 , but there hadn 't been the publicity on TV about child abuse by teachers , preachers and other authority figures . I could hardly wait for lunch to be over so I could go to his office . I didn 't even think it was strange when he told me I shouldn 't tell anyone that I had an appointment with him . I slipped down the hallway to where the teachers had their private offices . Since Mr . Reeves was a coach , his office was close to the athletic wing . In fact , he had a back door from his office that opened into the hallway of the dressing room area for the gymnasium . I knocked gently on the door , which immediately swung open . Mr . Reeves invited me in and motioned for me to sit on an upholstered chair beside his desk . He sat on his chair and turned it so that we were facing each other . Mr . Reeves smiled at me flashing his brilliant white teeth . My heart did a little flutter as I clasped my hands and slid them between my knees leaning forward . " Every year I try to pick a student who shows a lot of promise to be my assistant . This year , I have chosen you as my special assistant , that is if you are interested , " he explained , and again flashed his teeth . I was trying to be cool , so asked him what his special assistant did . He explained that I would help him copy papers , sort homework papers into alphabetical order , and generally assist him in routine office work . I was to come by on Monday , Wednesday and Friday right after lunch starting next Monday . " Oh , by the way , let 's not say anything to the other kids , I find that if they know you are helping out a teacher they get jealous and give you a hard time . " On Monday I walked with the crowd toward the classrooms . When the rest of them turned to go down the various class wings , I simply went down the teacher 's wing . Since no one knew what classes I had , no one missed me . I knocked gently on the door to Mr . Reeve 's office then opened the door . He smiled at me flashing his teeth and motioned for me to sit at the worktable . He handed me several stacks of paper and asked me to sort them into stacks then staple them for class handouts the next day . It took about forty - five minutes to finish the work . Mr . Reeves stayed busy correcting papers and marking the grades in his student book . When I finished , he chatted with me until time for my next class . The next two weeks went about the same , with me doing routine collating of papers and other miscellaneous tasks . I began to notice that there was less and less work and more and more chatting . Slowly , subtly the sessions began to change . He began asking me questions about what I liked , my favorite music , sports , anything to keep me talking about myself . I was flattered that he was interested in me and began to picture myself as his special friend . I even began fantasizing about kissing him and feeling his arms around me . Some of the boys I had walked home with from school in the eighth grade had tried to kiss me . Sometimes I had let a couple of them do it , so I thought I knew all about how to kiss a man . A week or two later I mentioned his large collection of various pill bottles on the bookshelf behind his desk . He said that he sold special vitamins to athletes . " I have been thinking that you might benefit from some vitamins . Since you work for me , I would give them to you for nothing . I can 't legally pay you for assisting me , and this would be a way to make it more even , " he explained . I asked him what the vitamins were for , and he said that they were general - purpose vitamins that were specially formulated for growing teen - age girls . I agreed to take the vitamins , so Mr . Reeves said he would have them the next time I came in . Sure enough , he had a bottle of capsules waiting in addition to a card with twenty - eight tablets in little plastic bubbles . It was an interesting card , with four rows of little pink pills but on the fourth row , there were two pink pills and five gray pills . He told me to take one of the capsules every morning before breakfast . When I asked him about the card of pills , he said that before he told me how to use them he needed to ask a very personal question if it was OK . " Sure , I don 't have anything to hide from anyone . " " This is really personal , so please don 't be offended . - - - I need to know when your next period is supposed to start . " " Mr . Reeves , what does that have to do with vitamins , " I asked incredulously , blushing a brilliant red . " I told you it was very personal . It 's just that these tablets are specially formulated for teen - age girls , and since you need special vitamins during your period , they need to be taken in conjunction with your regular menstrual cycle . You don 't need to be embarrassed . All girls have periods . " " Good , " he replied , " That means we can get you started right away . Now , let 's see , if you started yesterday , that means next Monday will be the fifth day , so on Monday morning start taking one of the little pink pills every day , and when you get to the gray ones just take it instead of the pink pill . Any questions ? " I shook my head and slipped the vitamins into my purse . " One thing more , " Mr . Reeves cautioned , " Some parents get concerned if they see their kids taking pills , so maybe you should just keep them out of sight . " " Don 't worry , I 'm getting tired of my mother 's constant direction and wouldn 't tell her for the world ! " " I knew you were a special girl the first time I saw you , " he said smiling . " I think you are a very mature young lady , and expect great things from you this year . Why don 't you take the rest of the period off and I 'll have some work for you Friday . Oh ! By the way , you might feel a little strange for the first few days you take your vitamins . Sometimes it takes the body a month or so to get used to the extra energy , so don 't worry if you feel a little queasy for a few days . " I left feeling warm all over that he thought I was mature . I spent the rest of the day dreaming about him and how lucky I was to be alone with him three hours a week . The next Monday he asked if I remembered to start taking my vitamins . I nodded with a little blush , realizing he knew that I had just finished my period . He didn 't seem to notice my discomfort , but asked if I felt OK . I nodded again , saying I felt just fine . Mr . Reeves had a lot of papers for me to arrange , so most of the period was taken up with office work . The next time I went into the office , Mr . Reeves was sitting at his desk with a sad look on his face . " What 's wrong ? " I asked . " Oh , it 's OK , Kayleene ; I don 't want to bother you with my problems . " " Well , it 's my wife ; she is treating me really bad . She just doesn 't understand me , " he sighed . " She 's grouchy all the time and is always making hateful remarks to me , " he said with tears welling up in his eyes . " I 'm really sorry , and I just can 't understand how anyone could make hateful remarks about you . I think you are just about the most wonderful person I know , " I said shyly . " Oh Kayleene , you don 't know how much better that makes me feel , " he exclaimed as he flashed his big white smile at me . " You have already made him feel a lot better . I think we should just talk today since you made me feel so good . " He told me about his childhood and how hard he had to work . His family was very poor and he had to work to support his little sisters and brothers . In spite of all this , he made it through high school and college . " Why did you marry a woman who is so mean ? " I asked innocently . The bell rang , so I gathered up my books and started for the door . Mr . Reeves stood and walked with me . Just as I reached for the doorknob , he touched my arm . I turned toward him , and found myself in his arms . He held me close for a second or two then gave me a quick kiss on the lips . " Thanks for helping me to feel better ; you are really a special girl . " Then , he opened the door and held it as I floated out . My head was in a spin . Mr . Reeves had kissed me ! If the rest of the girls knew , I would be the envy of every freshman girl in the school . I sure wasn 't going to tell . Mr . Reeves had cautioned me several times about letting anyone know about our arrangement . He said that I just wouldn 't believe how jealous immature girls could be , and I believed him ! The next afternoon , I hurried to his office before lunch period was even over . I reasoned that if I got there early I could spend more time working on his papers and perhaps we could talk some more . I opened the door quietly and slipped in . Mr . Reeves wasn 't in the office , so I went to the dressing room and walked in . Just as I stepped through the door , Mr . Reeves stepped out of his dressing area as naked as the day he was born ! I let out a little scream . " Oh my god ! " I turned and scampered out the door . I was so scared that I didn 't know what to do . I was trying to decide what I should do next when the door opened and Mr . Reeves stepped in wearing a terry cloth robe . " Relax , Kayleene , it isn 't a big deal , now don 't go running off and do something stupid ! " he commanded in a voice of authority . I stopped turning slowly toward him . " You 're not mad at me ? " I stammered . " Not at all , " he answered . " It was just a little accident . Now that we are working together , we have to rise above any of these little situations . Nothing happened except that you saw me without clothes . I 'm sure you know the difference between men and women by now . " I nodded and began to relax . The following week I started my period and was feeling kind of sluggish . Mr . Reeves said that he noticed that I didn 't seem to be my usual self , and asked if something was wrong ? I said that I just wasn 't feeling quite up to par and had a headache . He said he understood , but if I trusted him he could help . I nodded saying I did trust him . He took me by the hand and led me into the dressing room . " Slip your jeans off and get up on the training table and cover yourself with the sheet , " he instructed . He turned his back while I took my shoes and jeans off and lay down . I pulled the sheet up and told him I was ready . He came to the table and stood beside me . " Part of my training for being a coach involves learning how to massage a person in such a way to relieve cramps , ALL KINDS OF CRAMPS ! " he explained . I blushed a little , but he didn 't seem to notice . He slipped his hands under the sheet and reached my bare tummy . He began massaging , and in a few seconds I could feel his probing fingers pressing firmly into my aching tummy . Before long I began feeling some better . He kept working up and down and side to side bringing exquisite relief . In his movements , the sheet kept slipping until it just fell off . I kept trying to reach for it to pull it back . " Let 's slip these down a bit so I can finish up . " He tugged my panties down until they didn 't quite cover my pubic hair . He kept massaging for another ten minutes , then said that I should take a warm shower and get ready for class . I got up , went into the shower room and adjusted the water . In a moment , I had taken off the rest of my clothes and stepped into the shower . I spent about ten minutes feeling the relaxing water cascade over me . I dried off and began dressing . Just as I was sliding my bra over my arms , Mr . Reeves opened the door and stepped in . He didn 't even seem to notice that I was naked . " You feeling better ? " he asked with a smooth voice . I nodded shyly and turned my back while I finished dressing . He picked up something and returned to the office . A couple of minutes later , I went in and sat at my desk . " You sure look like you are feeling a lot better than when you got here , " he observed . " I really do , thanks for the help , " I replied shyly . The next day he said he would be glad to give me another massage . I went in and got ready , anticipating the feeling of his hands on my body . Shortly he stepped in and came over to the bed . This time before he started the massage , he slid my blouse up above my bra and then began tugging my panties down . I thought he would pull them down like he had the day before , but he instructed me to raise my hips a little . I did , still thinking that he would just slide them down to the top of my pubic hair . Instead , he pulled them right down to my knees ! I stared up at him with my mouth open . " Don 't worry , " he smiled , " It 's just easier with them out of the way . He repeated the performance of the day before , but spent a little more time closer to my vagina . The feeling was sensational and terribly relaxing . The more he worked on my tummy the better I felt and the more I trusted him . When he finished , he said a hot shower would complete the treatment . Having said that , he slid my panties the rest of the way off and helped me up . I trotted to the shower noticing that he went back into the office . When I stepped out of the shower , he was holding one of his big soft terry cloth robes and put it around my shoulders , then left the room . The next day went about the same except this time I just took my panties off before I got on the bed . He smiled at me and said that he was glad that I trusted him . Then he proceeded to give me the best massage yet . When I sat up , he pulled my sweater off then told me if I turned around he would unhook my bra for me . I followed his instructions and trotted off to the shower . Again , he was waiting with the robe , but this time he stayed in the room while I got dressed . He didn 't stare at me , he just went about making the bed up and arranging the covers so it looked like it did when I came in . Just as I was leaving , he gave me a kiss telling me how much he liked helping me . I thanked him and left . The following day I told him I felt much better and was ready to get to work on his papers . He agreed that we had some time to make up and should not waste any time . That Friday , my two o ' clock class was canceled because the teacher got sick and it was too late to call in a substitute . I told Mr . Reeves that I could spend two hours helping him . He smiled and said he was glad because his wife had been so mean to him the evening before and he was still feeling sad , so he was looking forward to talking to me again . For some reason , my heart kind of fluttered , and on an impulse I turned to him kissing him on the lips . I held my breath expecting some kind of mild rebuff , but quite the contrary ! He took me in his arms and gave me a long lingering kiss . I returned it with all my limited experience , feeling his hands slide down my back onto my bottom , pulling me tight against him . I melted into his arms , feeling myself kind of soar into the clouds . Mr . Reeves ' hands were all over my back and bottom , squeezing and massaging in a sensuous rhythm . I could feel a huge hard lump pressing into my tummy , and wondered what it could be . " Oh ! Kayleene , I love you so much , " he whispered as he kissed my neck and ear lobe . " I love you too , Mr . Reeves , you are so good to me , " I whispered back feeling really grown up . Before I knew what was happening , Mr . Reeves swept me up into his arms cradling me like a little girl . An instant later he had carried me across the office and into his dressing room . He laid me on the bed and knelt down beside me . He kissed me again in a long lingering tender embrace , running his hands in little circles on my tummy . " I want to make love to you , " he whispered into my ear as he kissed it again . " Oh yes , yes ! " I whimpered , kissing him as hard as I know how . In an instant I felt him unbuttoning my blouse . Gently he pulled me to a sitting position and slid my blouse off my shoulders , then unhooked my bra . I watched his face as my breasts came into view . His eyes lit up like my little brother 's did when he saw Santa Clause . I didn 't know what to do , but there was no need to worry . Mr . Reeves had his lips on my nipples and began kissing , nibbling and sucking all at the same time . My heart was racing , but at the same time I was scared . I really didn 't know what to do , even though the girls talked as if they knew all about it . Oh , I knew the man got on top and put his penis into the girl , but just exactly how it all happened was a mystery to me . Then , I reasoned that Mr . Reeves obviously knew how to do it , so I decided to just let him teach me . The thought struck me so funny that I actually giggled . " What 's so funny ? " asked Mr . Reeves with a puzzled look on his face . " Well , I was just thinking that you are going to teach me how to make love , and I was wondering how you would grade me . " Mr . Reeves smiled his bright white smile and told me he was sure I would do just fine . Then , he unsnapped my jeans and slid them off , pulling my shoes with them . An instant later my socks and panties were laying on the floor with them . He ran his hands all over my body , stroking and kissing me everywhere . When he began kissing my knees and worked his way up my thighs , I thought I was going to wet the bed . He kissed right up to myAfter several minutes of kissing my breasts and sliding his fingers into my vagina , I felt as if I was floating . My face was hot and I could feel my pussy getting so wet that it felt like it was overflowing . Suddenly Mr . Reeves stood up and said that it was time he got ready . He took his shirt off , then slid his pants down , kicking them free of his feet . Before long he was standing there dressed only in his shorts . He knelt beside the bed then asked if I had ever seen a naked man before . " Well , just little boys I baby sat with , and then the day I saw you getting out of the shower , " I replied with my heart racing . Mr . Reeves smiled again and said that I shouldn 't be afraid when I saw him , because he would be much bigger than any boy or even him than I had seen before . Slowly he stood up and began pulling his shorts out in the front . Further and further until he cleared his penis , then bending down in a swift movement he slid them off and slowly stood up again . In a moment I was staring at his huge penis sticking up like a sword at readiness . I gasped out loud staring at the thing that I knew was supposed to go inside me ! " It 's so big , " I stammered , " Won 't it hurt me ? " " I 'll be real careful , " he assured me as he lay on the bed beside me . Once again he began kissing me and slipping his finger into my vagina . After a while I felt more pressure and realized that he had two fingers inside me . " Does that hurt ? " he asked . " No , it feels good , " I whispered . After working his fingers around a little bit more , he withdrew them and began running a finger up higher and higher until I felt an incredible shock go through me like a bolt of lightening . I jerked my bottom up to meet his finger and gasped , " Oh do that some more , do that some more , oh , it feels so good , it feels so good ! " He began stroking and massaging my clitoris until my bottom was quivering and shaking . Mr . Reeves kissed me in a lingering deep kiss . " Are you ready to be a woman ? " " OH Yes , Yes ! " I exclaimed breathlessly . In an instant he had positioned himself between my legs , and lowered himself over me . He moved forward dropping his penis on my tummy then slowly , slowly pulled back until I felt it slide over my hair , then into my slit . Still moving slowly , he let it drop down my throbbing wet bottom until it reached the right place . He moved forward and I felt it begin to slide into me . I could feel myself spreading open , when he stopped . He kissed me again and told me to pull my knees up and let my legs fall open . I did as he coached , then held my breath . Mr . Reeves kissed me again very tenderly . " Now , Kayleene , I want you to take a deep breath and let it out . Just relax Kayleene , I will be very gentle , I want you to like your first time . " I took a real deep breath and held it for a second or two , then let it out and tried to let my muscles go limp . When I did , I felt his huge penis move in further and further . " Oh ! it hurts , " I whimpered . Mr . Reeves stopped , kissing me again , but holding himself steady . " Try to relax , take a deep breath again . " Once again I took a really deep breath and tried to let my legs go as limp as I could manage . Suddenly , he just slipped right into me and it felt as if I was completely filled up . Although there was a little pain , the full feeling was rather pleasant . We lay still in each other 's arms for perhaps a minute when Mr . Reeves slowly raised himself a little and pulled out just a bit . It felt good , so when he pushed forward , I raised my hips to meet him . After a few awkward movements on my part , I learned how to meet his movements , and shortly we were rocking together . I was so enthralled with doing it , not only the first time , but with a hunk like Mr . Reeves , that I just followed his movements . After a while , I sensed him speeding up and moved to match his rhythm . After a few seconds , I felt him kind of twitch inside me as he shoved himself in as deep as he could and just held it in . I could feel his penis jerking and pulsing inside me . I was wondering what was coming next when he kind of relaxed and settled down on me . I hugged him close and returned his kiss . Slowly , he rolled off me , and holding me tight pulled me onto my side while keeping his penis deep inside me . We lay together for perhaps five minutes when I felt him slip out of my bottom . He kissed me again and stood up . I looked at his once proud penis to see a much smaller version of the last look I had of it . It was glistening wet with a drop of white stuff hanging on the tip . I stared at it for several seconds , marveling at how much it could change in just a few minutes . Mr . Reeves looked at me with a little smile on his face . " Well , you get an A , " he said as the smile spread bigger and bigger . " Thank you , " I said , " Was I really OK ? " " You were just great , and next time , it will be even better . " Next time ! Did he really mean it , were we going to do it again ? Mr . Reeves pulled me to my feet and led me to the shower . Moments later he had adjusted the water and we stepped into the soothing warmth of the cascading torrent of comfort . He slipped a plastic cap over my hair then gently soaped me down . He rinsed the sticky stuff off my thighs , and carefully cleaned my pubic hair . I noticed that my vagina was slightly sore , but not at all unpleasant . After he finished with me , he handed me the soap and turned his back . I rubbed the soap over his back and down his legs . Then , he turned to face me . I started at his neck and down his muscular chest . I hesitated just a bit when I got to his pubic hair , but he just smiled and said it was OK . I gently rubbed the bar on his hair , then dropped the soap and used the lather from his hair to rub his penis and the wrinkled pouch below . As I rubbed his penis , I became aware that it was growing ! Before long , it was as big as it had been when I saw it half an hour before . I stared at it in amazement ! Mr . Reeves leaned against the wall standing very still while I explored it , running my hands up and down the length of the shaft and felt the bag and smooth balls inside . We played in the shower for perhaps fifteen minutes when Mr . Reeves said we better get dressed before the afternoon athletics classes wondered why the doors were locked . We quickly dried ourselves off and dressed . Moments later we were sitting in his office . " Mr . Reeves , do you think I will get pregnant from doing it with you ? " " Don 't worry Kayleene , you can 't get pregnant this close to your period , " I really liked it Kayleene , you are an excellent student , " he said again . " Since you are a virgin , your vagina may be a little sore for a couple of days . Here are some pills you can take to make it feel better . He handed me a glass of water and told me to take one now , and take another if it became too painful . We hurried and got the papers ready for his afternoon classes then I hurried out of the office and went to the study hall . Over the next few weeks , we made love , or at least what I thought was making love , every time I went to his office . After a couple of weeks , he had taught me how to respond to him in such a way that I would have an orgasm every second or third time . This seemed to make Mr . Reeves very happy , and he often would slide his fingers into me for several minutes before putting his penis inside me so I would be ready to come with him . I kept expressing my concern to him that I might get pregnant . Finally , he told me that some of the pills I was taking weren 't vitamins at all , but they were actually birth control pills . Therefore , we were perfectly safe . " So , you planned to do it with me from the first time I came to your office ? " I asked with a little smile . " Well , I liked you from the minute I saw you , " he said . By now , I was beginning to think that he didn 't really love me , but loved doing it with me . When I had my next period , he said we had lots of work to do in the office , and for that week we only worked in the office . As soon as I finished my period , he again began finding time to do it every time . In fact , he often asked me if I could come in every day so we could do it and still have time to do the paper work he needed done . He taught me just about every position that two persons could get into . Before the second month , he had shown me the delights of his tongue in my " Cunt , " as he taught me to say , and had tried to get me to put his penis in my mouth . I just didn 't want to do it , and finally said if he insisted that I do it , I wouldn 't come to his office anymore . " You aren 't the only girl in school who wants to be my assistant . " " You said I was the only girl you ever loved ! " I screamed at him . Realizing his blunder , he tried to smooth it over by saying he only said it because he was angry and didn 't want to lose the best assistant he ever had . I finally calmed down and said I would still be his assistant , but I just didn 't want to put his penis in my mouth . He said that was OK and he would never ask me to do it again . I continued to do his work and make love with him several times a week . I liked his attention , and felt really grown up by being his special girl . A few weeks later , a Junior , Cindy and Senior , Rhonda , stopped me in the hallway and asked me to meet them at a restaurant after school . When I asked them why , they said they needed me to help them on a project . When I got there , Cindy and Rhonda were already there . They had ordered Cokes for themselves and one for me . " So , what is it you want me to help you with ? " I asked . They looked at each other for a second or two . " We have to be very careful here , I don 't want to get all of us into trouble , but we think it is time to put a stop to something , " Cindy said carefully , watching me intently . I felt a ball of lead form in my stomach as the reality of why they asked me to meet them began to dawn on me . Rhonda looked at me steadily for a moment . " I was Mr . Reeves ' assistant when I was a freshman . " " I was his assistant when I was a freshman as well , " said Cindy . I just sat there feeling sick . " Who was the assistant last year ? " I asked . " Actually , there were two assistants last year , one of them moved away during the first semester , and the next one refuses to talk to us , " replied Rhonda . I could feel tears building up in my eyes as I fumbled for a tissue . Cindy put her hand on my arm . Rhonda spoke up and explained their plan . Mr . Reeves had singled them out because like me , they had figures that far outstripped their classmates when they were freshmen . They guessed that he picked on freshmen girls thinking they were not mature enough to take any action against him . By the time they were juniors and seniors , it was too late to prove anything . Cindy went on to say that they were trying to figure a way so it wouldn 't have to make this public and embarrass the girls involved . I nodded saying that I didn 't want Mom and Dad to find out . I was sure that Dad would kill Mr . Reeves if he found out . The girls nodded , but said that unless we did something , he would keep right on doing what he had done in the past . We talked for about two hours before we came up with a plan . Rhonda was running on the track team and had gotten well acquainted with Mr . Williams , head track coach . He was a highly respected teacher and coach . She decided that the three of us should ask him for help . Three days later , we were in Mr . William 's office . Rhonda , who had decided to be a lawyer , led the discussion . First , she made Mr . Williams promise never to divulge to anyone what we were going to tell him . If he did , we all swore that we would deny everything we had said . Mr . Williams agreed to listen to us . When we had finished , we had developed an idea . It required me to continue as Mr . Reeves ' special assistant for a few more days . The question of me doing it with him again was never raised , but by now , I decided that I was going to help stop him , and if that meant I had to do it with him one more time , it wouldn 't really be anything that I hadn 't already done . Mr . Williams said he thought the only way we could stop him without making it public was to have such overwhelming evidence that he couldn 't lie his way out of it . Then , he would set up a meeting between Mr . Reeves and the rest of us , and tell him that if he didn 't resign from his position , and leave teaching completely , he would be turned over to the police and charged with Statutory rape . Furthermore , each of the fathers would be told what he had done . If that didn 't scare him out of school , nothing would . It didn 't seem like a very complex plan , but we reasoned that the simpler it was , probably the better chance we had of it working . Mr . Williams said he would get us one of the new tape recorders the school had bought for the debating classes . They were very quiet , and would run for up to three hours on one tape . I was to take one into Mr . Reeves ' office and put it some place where he wouldn 't see it , then try to get him to talk about the birth control pills , and having sex with me . All of them promised that nothing they heard on the tape would ever be repeated to anyone . I agreed to take the recorder and hide it . The next Monday , I cut my second hour class and went to Mr . Reeve 's office . I had taken a spare key from his desk one day so I could get into his office if he wasn 't there on my regular work time . I let myself in after checking to see no one was watching . I had thought about where to put it for a long time , and finally decided that the only way to do it was to record us doing it , otherwise he might be able explain it away somehow . I put the recorder under the bed and taped the microphone to the headboard just below the pillow . It had a switch that could be set so that the only time the recorder ran was when there was sound in the room . After lunch , I hurried to Mr . Reeve 's office for my work period . As soon as I walked in , he asked if I wanted to go into the other room . I smiled and said that if he wanted to teach me some more about sex , I would be glad to learn . With that word of encouragement to him , I hurried into the coach 's dressing room and sat on the bed . Mr . Reeves was right behind me , tugging my sweater up and over my breasts . " Please don 't hurray so much . I don 't like it as much as when you used to take your time with me . " I said . " Do you remember the first time we did it ? " " I sure do , " he replied , " You were really good . " " Was I as good as other girls you have done it with ? " I asked . Mr . Reeves looked at me carefully . " Well , I had a really good teacher , " I replied with a little giggle , " I guess that 's the advantage of having a professional teacher and coach all rolled into one . You know , you do so good a job of teaching me how to do it , I really wonder if you have taught other girls how to do it . " " What makes you think that ? " he asked with a strange look on his face . " Well , I know that you have a special assistant every year , and I just don 't think I am the first one you ever taught to do it . " Mr . Reeves just looked at me for a few seconds . " What 's her name ? " I asked . " No way I 'm going to tell you that , just like I 'll never tell anyone about us ! " he replied with finality . " Are you sure I can 't get pregnant ? " I asked . " You got nothing to worry about , " Mr . Reeves assured me , " The birth control pills you are taking are proven to be 99 . 99 % effective . Even if something should happen , I know what to do about that as well . " " Where do you get them , don 't the doctors think it is kind of strange that you buy birth control pills ? " " My brother 's a pharmacist , " he shrugged . " Well , what are you going to teach me today ? " I asked . Mr . Reeves smiled as he pulled my sweater over my head . " Are you going to take all my clothes off ? " I asked turning my head toward the head of the bed . " You got that right , " he said , " The sooner the better . " In a minute to two , I was completely naked . " Now that I am naked , are you going to take your clothes off too ? " I asked innocently . " Don 't I always get naked , you are so much woman that I have to feel you all over my body to get enough of you . " As he tore his clothes off , I commented about the various parts of his body . When he pulled his shorts off tried to act really in awe . " Wow , your penis is bigger than I have ever seen it before ! " I exclaimed . " That 's because you excite me more every time we make love , " he replied with his huge smile . In answer , I lay back on the bed and opened my legs . Mr . Reeves was on me in an instant , and seconds later had plunged his penis deep into my bottom . I was so nervous that I was kind of dry , and gave out a little whimper of pain when he thrust into me . " What 's the matter ? " he asked . " I guess you are just too big for me , " I said , " You are so big that I guess a thirteen - year - old girl just isn 't enough of a woman to handle someone as big as you . " " Except for the first time , you always took all I have to give you , " he replied . " Am I as good as Cindy and Rhonda ? " " Oh baby , you are better than either of them could have ever been , you are the best woman I have ever had . " Seconds later he shot himself into me and collapsed on me in a heap . Shortly I became aware that he had fallen asleep , and his weight was becoming unpleasant . I pushed him off and slid out from under him . I scurried to the shower and finished as quickly as possible . I dressed and just before walking out woke Mr . Reeves . By the time he showered and dressed , I had left the office and told Rhonda and Cindy the recording was done . I told them that I had gotten him to admit he had done it with them as well . Mr . Williams recovered the tape recorder and that night after school we met at a restaurant . Mr . Williams said that he had listened to the tape and had everything he needed . He told me not to worry , that no one would ever hear the tape , and it wasn 't even necessary for the other girls to hear it . I started to cry , telling him I was so ashamed of myself for falling for his ridiculous line . He told me not to worry , that was the reason there was a law about statutory rape , because the law recognized that girls less than eighteen weren 't supposed to be mature enough to handle an experience adult . The next day , the Principal announced that Mr . Reeves had experienced a sudden emergency in his family in Mexico , and had to leave without notice . Further , it was doubtful that he would be back , and then he introduced the substitute teacher who would complete the semester . By then , they would have a regular teacher . Later that afternoon , Mr . Williams , Cindy , Rhonda and I met in his office . He briefly explained that he had met with Mr . Reeves . He played the first part of the tape then told him that the original tape was in a safe deposit box in a bank in another city . Further , the Police had been advised that in the event anything happened to Mr . Williams or any local girl , they were to go to the school attorney who agreed under client privilege to keep the entire matter secret except for some accident happening to any of us . He then gave Mr . Reeves twelve hours to get out of town . With the help of Cindy and Rhonda , I overcame the guilt of what I had let Mr . Reeves do to me . When it was appropriate , I began dating , and when I wanted to do it , I let it happen . When I didn 't want to do it with someone , I didn 't let him talk me into anything . If he threatened me with the loss of his love , I simply walked away . One thing for certain , I am not going to let a slime ball like Mr . Reeves affect my future happiness . Read 69859 times | What an arsehole she was for reporting him . She led him on and got exactly what she wanted and deserved . If she regretted it later tough shit . she should have stopped while she could . Ive got no sympathy with her , and yes i am female ! ! ! |
Past Life Informs Present Relationships June 15 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment As a therapist who writes about psychological issues I have to make the decision : do I use client material or talk about my family members to illustrate issues . Since most clients come because they have been badly hurt one way or another in their families of origin I would be violating and re - wounding them to use their experiences . So … my grown children graciously have allowed me to use some of their material to illustrate concepts from time to time . You may or may not know that the girls ' names have been changed in my book The Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir . This gives each daughter a little privacy . In years past I trained with Roger Woolger , a certified Jungian analyst , to do past life therapy . He has become an authority in this form of past life regression work . I did not finish the training because he believed that the way to free a person from the strangulation of past life energy was to have the client relive the trauma and release that captured energy by fighting , screaming , cursing , beating something - whatever it took to release the charge . I have a hard time forcing someone to re - experience that kind of pain and so I backed away , but during the training I was required to do a lot of regressions with my fellow students . The upshot is I have experienced lives with all of my children including the adopted daughter and my step - children . Most amazing and informative ! Let me share at least one of these stories . These stories have helped me better understand why my children respond to me in the ways that they do . Remember , I said at the start of this blog that past life informs present relationships . The past life story scene opens with me as a very young wife standing at the door of a hallway and I am about to hand a bowl of hot soup to Whitley Dresser , the man who was our psychic reader in the book store , Merlin Books , that we owned in this present lifetime . In the story he was old and cranky and miserable to live with . He took the bowl of soup , and as it was too hot for him , he threw it in my face . I was hurt and outraged . When I could get away , I went to see my father who had arranged this marriage to this much older man . I told him how cruel my husband was and that I wanted to leave and come home . Life was terrible . He soothed me as best he could but told me to stay , that the old man would not live too much longer and then I would be financially well off . I grudgingly did what my father insisted I do . Sure enough , death came after not too long a time and I was free and well to do . There was a young lawyer whom I had seen driving a single horse drawn cabriolet down our street in Paris , France and I loved the way he handled his horse and the gleam of his shiny black carriage . Soon we happened to meet and eventually married . The lawyer was Sy Kessler in this life . It was a rewarding life and we had a daughter and a son . Our time together was peaceful . As the children grew older I had less responsibility and so I began to write . I was rather good at writing and began to have my material published in the manner of the day , under a pseudonym name . I joined other writers and became enthralled with the accolades and the attention . Something made me think that I would have more exposure in England and so I left Sy and my home in France and went to England to pursue my career . My daughter ( Elizabeth in this life ) denounced me for leaving her father and I never saw her again after I left France . The son ( Felicia in this life ) was a bit more forgiving and would come once and again to see me in England . I actually did not fare well in England and died alone in a garret room of tuberculosis . I never saw Sy or Elizabeth again in that life . Now the connections : When Whitely Dresser came to ask me for a job at Merlin Books I rejected him almost immediately . It was only after I could not get the man out of my head , something about him was familiar , that I asked him back to do a psychic reading for me . And as I say in the book , A Bird and the Dragon , he became the backbone of our store . Positive payback ? ! ! In this life , when I asked Elizabeth 's father , the Rev . Harvard Lesser , for a divorce she simply turned away from me . As a child she was very close and in the book I refer to her as my apron strings child . This was crushing for me and doing this regression helped me better understand . She also in this life grew to be close to Sy and when he died she was tied up at work , did come to the memorial service , but skipped the casting of his ashes because she wanted to remember him as he was . Passion in Marriage June 8 , 2017June 8 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ 2 Comments Part of the job of a writer , especially of a self - published book , is to get the word out to the public . That involves passive advertising like my writing a blog each week about people or events that relate back to my first book , The Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir . The other effort needed is to do public speaking . I 'm doing an Author Talk Monday evening , June 12 , 2017 , 6 : 30 p . m . , at the Waterford Public Library , on Rt . 156 , 49 Rope Ferry Road , in Waterford , CT . Those of you living in the eastern half of Connecticut know where I will be and hopefully my other readers will get the gist of that talk with the story in this blog . The title of my talk is " Sweethearts Forever . " Now , forever is a long time and those of you who are married are saying good luck with that topic ! But what I want to bring to your attention is that there is passion in a first or second meeting . And when you are in your teens and early twenties , that passion is about sex and physical connection . As we age we begin to recognize that there is an emotional passion , and for some a spiritual passion . Believe me , emotional and spiritual passion lasts the longest - maybe forever . When you are young and first in love you can hardly keep your hands off of each other . As we mellow we begin to recognize the comfort and lasting connection in a knowing glance given by a loving partner from across the room . For my talk I had overlarge bookmarks made to help me get my point across to my audiences . It consists of a star of sorts and words . I showed it to Annie , our youngest daughter when she was here to get her opinion . She approved and we went on to other things . I wanted to show her one of the uses for the card and then I couldn 't find it . She asked , " What are you looking for , The Love Star ? " I hadn 't given the bookmark a name but she was exactly right . It is a Love Star . This is what I 'm calling emotional passion . There are certain traits that involved individuals need to have for sexual passion to move to emotional passion . That is what I plan to talk about on Monday evening . Oh , and by the way , any and all of you are invited to come . my husband Sy and me , I 'm going to talk here about the relationship between my grandparents . I 've talked about my grandmother , Mary Emma so this is a peek into her more private life . I 've had my house up for sale for two years now and with it not selling I began to realize for some reason my God wants me here , so I 've been unpacking the books I 'd cleared out of the living room in an effort to make the room less " dark and cluttered . " As I put books back on the bookshelves I found my grandmother 's book , Mary Emma of the Square House . I think I 've mentioned before in my blog that my grandmother wrote a book about her life and when she sent it off to a publisher he sent it back saying the language was too old fashioned for him to risk publishing the book . She put it away and it saw no light until my cousin and his wife came across the manuscript . My grandmother 's middle son then stepped forward and encouraged the couple to edit the manuscript and he would help them financially to have it published . That was done and now each of her descendants has the story of Mary Emma 's life to hold in their hands and hearts . " It was not a case of love at first sight . I knew nothing of the fine old family behind him , and saw only an unusually tall , blond and somewhat self - conscious youth . I think he was attracted by my ability to read and recite , rather than by myself . He paid me some slight attention and I was unimpressed . " Farther on my grandmother states , " I am sure I was not in love in a romantic sense . I simply liked him . I think he felt much the same toward me . We preferred each other 's company … . One day he asked me to marry him ; it was the thought of a home that won . I told him I would marry him if the time ever came that he could provide a home . … that night , I took the little gold pen that had been his last Christmas gift and wrote , " Mary Gould Moody . " I did not like the addition to my name , and I comforted myself before I slept with the thought that he never would be able to provide a home . … . I was wrong . " " The next night I sent again for the doctor … " He { meaning Charles } had been anxious about himself all this afternoon , " I said . " Of course he had not reason to be . " " I cannot go over that dreadful day of March 17 , 1910 . He fought with everything he had but my Charlie went to his rest before it closed . The heart had failed to take the strain . " I hope that you can hear through Mary Emma 's words how their relationship moved over the years from the passion of youth , or apparent lack thereof , to the emotional passion of mid - life . I grew up knowing my grandfather Charlie , because my grandmother 's love for him extended past the fact that my mother never laid eyes on her father , with his passing before she was born . And so I come back to my Love Star . The two most important things in that star are the Respect at the top of the star and Time at the bottom of the star . My grandparents had great respect for each other and I hope you can hear it through her limited words , here . Time can be seen in many ways . I am meaning in my talk , the time to devote to each other . This couple devoted time to each other around caring for and raising their children . Their life was really hard which you would learn if you had access to the book but they never blamed one another or belittle one another . They were honest and kind to one another . Those are the next two qualities on the Love Star that are essential to a lasting emotionally passionate relationship . Love is Not Enough ! June 2 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment If you have been through a divorce or , worse , have lost a beloved spouse to death , you feel emotionally very shaky about your worth and your ability to move forward in the world . Then , miracle of miracles , you meet someone special and the two of you hit it off very well . You seem to have a lot in common ; you value many of the same things and as the relationship develops you find you can learn to like the things that are different about the two of you . He likes baseball : you 'd rather stay home and read a book but the two of you find a way to compromise on these issues . This person seems like a perfect mate to help you raise your children . Your mother always told you to pick someone with common interests ! ! Next , we bring the children together and they are tense at first but then they seem to find common ground and you think , ' the expression that love is enough , seems to be true . ' That is until the wedding bells have rung and we all now live in the same house . So often a couple is so smitten with each other that they turn a blind eye to the tensions growing between the children . He says , " Give them time . They 'll figure it out . " So you look away and the troubles in the house grow larger . No ! They won 't figure it out because the children have never been in this situation where they now have to share their parent with someone else as well as share them with other children . ( There could have been a second parent in the previous household but if it is a divorce these parents were not on equal ground and the children know this . With a death it is a bit different . ) And you thought sibling rivalry was bad in your own first little family ! ! Children have to see the parents setting the path of communication , acceptance ( and that is acceptance of the other person 's children ) , patience , and basically what you do in these relational situations . And then we come to that ugly word : structure . Yes , children need structure ; sometimes only so that they have something to rail against , but it truly does make them feel safer . It is hard on you to hold the line but you must do that if you want well - functioning adults to come out of this combined household . The greater world doesn 't give in to temper tantrums . building a common history . My husband Sy and I did many activities with our children to help start this process of common history . One event that didn 't make it into my first book , A Bird and the Dragon , Their Love Story : A Memoir is ' bacon in the back seat . ' I believe it was the Memorial Day weekend and Sy and I had decided we would take the girls on a picnic . We had found a state park with a pond , picnic area , and space to play games if they so desired . With girls of their ages they wanted to lie in the sun and stock the boys - from the safety of their beach blankets . I got it into my head that one of the items on the picnic list was scallops wrapped in bacon . The girls had loved them when I had done them once at home so I started out to make these delicacies while Sy got stuck rounding up much of the rest of the picnic and the paraphernalia . And of course the bacon didn 't want to stay wrapped on the scallops and the scallops all wanted to cook at different speeds and it was becoming long and not so successful . We finally got everything loaded into the red Chevrolet cargo van along with all the girls in bathing suits , with towels and extra clothes . As we drove toward the park the sky was getting darker and darker . I 'm beating myself up inside because my need for perfection had set us behind by a good bit . Just as we pulled into the parking lot the sky opened up and it poured rain . You could hear the outraged disappointment from the back of the van . " We 're going to have to turn around and go home ! " one girl said . Then I heard , " We drove all this way to go swimming and now we can 't ! Some picnic ! ! " Someone else said my exact thoughts , " What was all the bother for ? The picnic is ruined . " And then my Beloved said , " What do you mean the picnic is spoiled ? I 'm not turning around and driving home ! " I looked at him in surprise because he often wanted things to go " right . " And he said back to my glance , " We 're going to spread out the blanket in the back of the van , open the back doors so you can hang your feet out into the rain , and lay out our picnic there on the blanket . " their bare feet wet and when they tired of that they curled up on the seats and told ghost stories , and gossiped and I was amazed . They needed structure : the picnic . Then they needed to see that a picnic could be done in a different way . And lastly they needed to see that the parents didn 't blame each other but came up with an alternative plan . There was no " drama ! " Just good clean fun ! ! Yes structure , acceptance , and flexibility - you can survive a blended family . Grief : However it Comes May 25 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment The title of my book A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir almost tells you that there is going to be an ending in the story . And what I tried to focus on as I wrote was the little things that happened between my husband Sy and me as well as events around us that created our Love Story . Some of it has to do with the character of the people involved but much of it is just the nitty - gritty of two people living with five daughters all champing at the bit to be grown up and doing life their way . Then we come to the end of the story and yet the story goes on in a different time and space . I don 't have to tell you that a sudden unexpected death was like some great force had taken my beautiful rug , called home , and torn it out from under me . An incident that you will read about in Sissy 's Story : Inside a Child 's Long Term Illness tells of me at the age of six having to go to the big city every three months to be checked over and to have blood drawn to ensure the doctors that I was indeed recovering from the Rheumatic Fever . This particular time the doctor was to A Doctor with a Syringe draw the blood and when he inserted the needle he caught the vein in my arm crosswise and the pain was excruciating and yet I didn 't cry . He pulled the needle back , apologized profusely , and tried again . By this time my arm was burning and aching . But I didn 't cry . Afterwards everyone told me how brave I was and I think that imprinted me with the message that I shouldn 't cry no matter how bad the pain . As a therapist I know otherwise but sometimes those old childhood lessons are stronger . So I didn 't cry much when Sy died . I anguished inside and then set to work trying to put my world back into some order . The fact that I wasn 't able to cry and flush my emotional system has driven a lot of that heart pain into my body , so that I 'm in pain most days . For about four months after he died I didn 't feel him anywhere around me . It was just a void ; but then gradually I started to talk to his picture on the night stand beside where I sleep . I 'd cry some but then move on to an accounting of the day 's events just as we used to talk at coffee time . One night when Annie , our youngest daughter was staying over with me to get me back " in order " and sleeping in the guest room , she called to me . " Are you talking to Dad ? " And she responded , " I thought so because he hasn 't blinked my light , tonight . " ( I knew she was referring to the fact that both my mother and Sy , who have passed over , will blink a light in my house whenever they want us to know that they have come for a visit . And they don 't use the same lights ! I believe I 've talked about this phenomenon in an earlier blog . ) Each day was filled with the have - to - does , groceries , meals , laundry , letters , and you name it . The pain in my mid - section didn 't go away and I questioned most everything I was doing or was going to have to do : Thanksgiving , first Christmas in a new home , dessert hour for my new neighbors , my daughter 's second wedding , the sources of money , the getting his will probated and the list goes on . By the time I 'd gotten almost to that first year anniversary of his death I think the numbness was wearing off and the depression was coming . That 's why I started to write the book , to give me company in the old memories and to give Robbie , the youngest grandson , a grandfather he could hold onto as an adult . Actually it has given all of my children and grandchildren back their father and grandfather . Felicia , next to the youngest daughter , said to me yesterday , " Yeah , I 've been reading the book , a little at a time , and it is so good to have Sy back even if it is only for a moment . " But with all of these efforts and the struggles to get the book published and out to the public the pain had moved to the heart and was a low muddy river riding along at the bottom of my heart . I 've thought about , I 've even written about , what would happen to that heart if someone else should step into my life and I knew that the river would continue to flow , maybe a brook , but still there . I 'm not one to take medication unless it is absolutely necessary and so I assumed that this would be the condition for the rest of my life . promotional material from a Bill Harris , founder of Centerpointe , in Oregon , offering me a chance to listen to his musical CD 's that were programmed to create new pathways in the brain and gradually help me to change my behaviors that were not really working well . In a sense his CD 's help the right and left hemisphere of the brain to begin talking back and forth . He promised all sorts of changes and like always I said " Yeah , Right ! ! " But I signed up for his first set of CD 's and started listening . About three weeks into doing this daily routine I was putzing around the house doing my chores and I thought , " The pain in my heart ; where is it ? The pain has gone ! ! " And then I did another " Yeah ! Right ! Let 's wait until tomorrow . " And I checked in the next day and it was gone . Small wonder ! Then I had the fear that I was going to forget Sy but that has not proven to be the case . Apparently my brain has recognized that grieving endlessly even if I 'm doing it silently isn 't helping me . And I 'm the one that is still alive and here on earth wrestling with the everyday . So I might as well begin to have fun with my situation . I 'm sharing this with you because you have to know that all of us grieve differently . There is sometimes a song , or a picture or a place or one of my children saying to me " Wear it well , " when I have bought a new piece of clothing , and I hear Sy 's voice and have to fight back the tears - just for a moment . Some people cry and moan , some get sick , some get angry at everyone most especially themselves ; and those of you that are surrounding this person or are there yourself need to remember we all grieve differently and in our own time . I shared my experience with a girlfriend last week who lost her husband a few years before me and she looked at me and said . " Well , it 's been almost four years for you , and the pain should be easing up . " I didn 't know there was a timeline and I really feel that the Holosync CD 's have played a large part in the change . Bless the creator of this material . Prebirth Imprints Set Core Beliefs May 18 , 2017May 18 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ 4 Comments If you have read my first book A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir you have stumbled across the fact that I was afraid of a lot of things through the story . First I was afraid that Sy , my second husband might be as difficult as my first husband , Harvard Lesser . Then I was afraid that I wouldn 't be able to raise these five girls that were to become our blended family . I was afraid that I wouldn 't be accepted for my first counseling job at the counseling center in Medfield , CT . , and so it goes . I took a little quiz that came across my computer a few days ago and at the end I was told that I had been " imprinted with fear " when I was a child , and if I took this woman 's workshop I would be able to rid myself of that imprint . Unfortunately her workshop runs at the same time I have to be writing this blog to get it to you on time this week . So instead of being upset that I couldn 't attend I began to think about where could this fear imprint have come from ? I am also a therapist , as is the teacher of the workshop , so I started rummaging around in my bag of goodies . Out popped my grandmother , Mary Emma Moody . Okay , so how is she involved in this imprinting ? Back when Grandmother was carrying my mother Jordan Elizabeth Moody she was living on a dirt farm in Colorado with a husband that was just recovering from tuberculosis . They had five children and Mary Emma was pregnant with the sixth child , Jordan . My grandfather Charles Moody died of pneumonia five months before my mother was born , leaving Mary Emma to raise five children and a new baby on a scratch - dirt farm , alone . Can you imagine the grief and then the fear this woman must have suffered as she carried my mother : how to feed six children on a dirt - farm , how to survive without a husband , where would any money for food and seed come from , who would provide the labor for the farm ? The list is endless . And I know from my counseling training that whatever the mother is feeling and thinking most of the time as she carries a child is absorbed by the fetus . up her children after a year or so and brought them East where she could live with a brother until she could find housing . My grandmother took in laundry for a living and set up a laundry in the basement of the home she rented . This woman had to have been exhausted most of the time when my mother was growing up . So if my mother had any fears she wasn 't free to share them because her mother was too tired to be a support . My mother has told me that my grandmother held all the children very close to her because of fears that the boys would stray in a city environment and get into trouble . So now you are seeing a history of hard work and fear . As things evolved I turned out okay but with my own issues to conquer . You can see clearly that there is indeed an imprint of fear in my life . So my job moving forward is finding ways to understand this imprint and to challenge myself to move beyond those fears . I can tell you about one activity to take me out of my comfort zone and that is the public speaking I must do to promote my book . So if you want to help me with this ' fear imprint ' please find organizations who would like to hear me speak on some of the things I know about relationships , loving , accepting other people 's children , and building a blended family . Maybe together , we 'll help me get rid of this imprint ! P . S . My grandfather Charlie Moody called my grandmother May instead of the Mary so this is where I got half of my name . If you look at the picture of my grandmother and then of me you can see I was meant to carry her name . When the Wheels Come Off the Wagon May 13 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment Those who have read my book A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir have already met and seen pictures of my mother Jordan Elizabeth Sanderson . But in this blog I 'd like to take you from the woman pictured in the book to the woman who passed away at ninety - eight years old . Some of this may sound sacrilegious and I hope I can present this without that happening . Many of you may have taken care of an aging parent or spouse and perhaps my stories will help you . My mother spent her last seven years in our home with my husband , Sy and me , along with our grandchildren , in the apartment above us or at our dinner table . Looking back , I have to admire her fortitude to move from the town she had known since she was a new bride at eighteen to our town where she was not free to explore because she had already given up her car . Once she had moved in with us , one of my first vivid memories is of her standing beside me in my kitchen saying , " What can I do to help ? " The question was simple but not so the answer . My mother had essential tremor in her later years and it was worse when she was stressed . ( Yes , living in my house with me could create a bit of stress . ) Mother was also a little stooped in posture at this point . Not thinking , I responded , " Well , Mom , you could help me by peeling and cutting up these vegetables for supper . " I set about putting a cutting board at the table , my style of peeler , which she had never used before , along with my best paring knife , a dish for the vegetables , and I pulled up a chair . She stood looking at the set - up and then she said , " I can 't do that , " and she walked away . I was livid . She asked to help . She knew how to fix vegetables . She 'd done it all of my life . What was her problem ? ! ! She went back to her room and I did the vegetables and fumed . I never asked her to cut vegetables again . By the next day I had figured out that she was used to standing to work but because she was stooped I assumed it would be easier for her to sit . She 'd never done it that way and didn 't have the language any longer to tell me that . She was also afraid that she would cut herself when she was not in her accustomed position for doing the task . But again , either she hadn 't figured out why she couldn 't cut vegetables and then told me , or she couldn 't find the words . Both things happen to a person as they age . And on my side I assumed rather than asking , because I remembered a vital woman who cooked every day ! afternoon on her bed and my sister had been at the house helping me go through my mother 's clothes and weeding many of them out to be given to family members and Good Will . I knew this was painful for my mother to watch since she loved her clothes - one of her few indulgences . The next day I was doing the job alone . My mother was again resting on her bed and I took an armful of clothes out to the other room . As I hung them up I heard this horrible thud and rushed back to the bedroom . My mother was on the floor beside her bed . I asked if she was alright and she said that she thought she was fine . I asked if she could get back up onto the bed . She could and as she sat there I checked her for any bruising . I didn 't ask what happened because it was late in the afternoon and I knew she would not be as cognizant then as she would be next morning . So , next morning when she had had her breakfast , was washed - up , dressed and had made her bed , I went into her room and knelt down in front of where she was sitting . " Mom , what happened yesterday when you fell off the bed ? " She looked at me for half a minute trying to recall and then she said , " Well , I was out riding on this horse and I don 't know what happened but something must have spooked him . He rose up on his hind legs and threw me right off . I landed with a horrible thud but nothing seemed to be broken . So there you have it . That 's what happened ! " It was all I could do not to giggle . I started to correct her and then I realized that maybe she had been dreaming when she fell and that 's where the story came from , or maybe she just made it up on the spot . It didn 't matter . It was her story ! ! And I expect it diverted her from the pain of seeing her beloved clothes leaving her closet . The next incident happened much closer to the end of her stay with us . Mother had been with us for about five years and I don 't remember her ever mentioning my father during that time . Everyone in their community called him Fred but she called him Freddie ; the name she knew when she was a girl of twelve visiting on his parent 's farm . In my house with Sy , her bedroom was right off the living room . Mother was sitting on the couch in the living room and it was beginning to get late . I said , " Mom , it 's time for you to be getting ready for bed . " I was taken aback since she 'd been going from where she sat to her bedroom for years . " Your bedroom is right here , Mom . " I pointed her in the right direction . My wheels spun and I said , " Yes , he does . He knows you are here . " ( He 'd been dead for some twenty - five years . ) The last incident was close to the end . We were having a conversation about something - I don 't remember now - and suddenly what came out of my mother 's mouth was all gobbledygook . She looked at me a bit bewildered and tried to say her thought again . This time it still came out so garbled there were no words . She looked frightened . " Mom , look at me . The wheels are coming off the wagon ! " For a moment her face was blank and then she broke into peals of laughter . " You 're right , " she said . " The wheels are coming off my wagon ! " The Pecking Order Matters May 5 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment As you read my first book , A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir you are quickly introduced to our family of five daughters . I 've had the opportunity to observe closely their developing personalities in terms of their psychology and how that shapes how they put their experiences to use in their adult lives . Then you add thirty years in " the chair " and after a while you begin to see patterns in family relationships and how those patterns influence one 's adult behavior . I 've told you before that the hearts on the tree on the cover of my book represent each daughter , so as you read my stories associate them with one of the hearts : Cora is green , May is red , Elizabeth is blue , Felicia is yellow , and Annie is lavender / pink . Cora [ Green ] is the oldest in both the original family and in the family that my husband Sy and I created with our marriage . As the oldest she strives to make sure she is doing what she believes we parents want her to accomplish . She pushes herself hard and she expects the younger siblings to follow her lead . Leadership is usually associated with the oldest child . They are trying to please those neophyte parents . The upshot is the younger children often find that oldest child to be bossy and know - it - all , while the oldest child feels they are responsible for the younger ones or sometimes for everything . In their adult life they may be controlling because they have already cut the path for others and wonder why the others don 't want to follow , such as a husband . They get angry when the husband bucks them . After all they KNOW how it should be done . May [ Red ] was the oldest child in the original family with me and so she carries some of the attributes of the oldest child such as being a ground breaker and cutting a path , but then in the family created by Sy and I she is the second child who either tries harder to achieve than the first or doesn 't try at all because it 's been done before . May also has the added burden of being next to the youngest in her biological family . [ She had the opportunity to meet her biological mother and some of her siblings and half siblings a few years ago . ] The upshot for May is that she doesn 't have a clear picture of what role she should play in life and therefore how she should relate to people in her adult life . She vacillates from knowing - it - all to being helpless and believing she can 't solve her problems . Elizabeth [ Blue ] is the second child in her original family and the third in the family that Sy and I created . She also carries some of the biological first child characteristics because biologically she is the first child - May was adopted and although she was a family member before Elizabeth arrived , the DNA seems to override here . Elizabeth is the problem solver and has that know - it - all quality because she is the first to push through the womb . At the same time you sometimes see her retreat within the family to the position of the forgotten middle child . I feel her loneliness in that position because during some of my childhood I was that middle child . She expects men to understand her and then she retreats so they can 't find her . Felicia [ Yellow ] was the third child in her original family and as such was the baby . In the family that Sy and I created she is next to the youngest child . So she has those qualities of waiting to be told what to do as the younger or baby seems to demonstrate , while she can lord it over the next child down because she is not the baby in the blended family . A child in this position will vacillate from some of the qualities of the oldest ; built - in leadership and then helpless to solve a problem because someone else always solved it for you . Annie [ Lavender / Pink ] was the youngest child both in her family of origin and in the family Sy and I created . She is the ' darling ' and uses that at the same time she feels that she is not respected for what she knows because the others always seem to have learned it first . I can relate to these feelings too , because for nine years I also was the youngest in my family of origin . Annie strives hard to show that she is intelligent , can problem solve , and is of value . What is seen for both Annie and Felicia is there is a tendency to ask permission to do things in their marital family because that was their role in their blended family . What happens when as an adult you ask permission to do something of your spouse , the partner assumes the role of the parent and okays or denies your request as your parents did . This reinforces the feelings of not having your own authority or not being good enough , left over from childhood . If you want more information about this Parent / Adult / Child behavior pattern go to my website and click on the Tidbits access . This will take you to the index of articles and around February 15 , 2017 I did the Tidbit Column on " Parent , Adult , Child ! " Happy reading ! The Aha Moment April 28 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment Much of my first book , A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir is about the adventures of raising five preteen and teenage daughters . And there were so many nicks and crannies we could have fallen into but I think we missed most of them . It was either that or there was enough of a glow between us that it shut out our awareness of some of the crannies . We all moved into the Ugly Green House , which you saw in last week 's blog , a week before my second husband , Sy and I said our marriage vows to one another . We were wise and set things up so that I had the girls during the February school vacation with our wedding coming at the end on Saturday . My mother had their care during the next week when the girls would be back in school and we would be on our honeymoon . Sy , I , and the girls had spent many of the preceding weekends at my home in Grows Town so my being with the girls while Sy was at work seemed like a great way to start our time together . By Wednesday of that week , I locked myself in the downstairs bathroom and cried hysterically because I could not manage the monsters that were swarming around outside my door . Sweet , loving , cooperative girls : I 'm not sure where they had flown to but they weren 't in my house ! I , of course , had forgotten that they were just as excited and afraid as I , of what this marriage might bring to all of us . Now let 's fast forward a bit : the girls had ended high school , moved on to college of some sort or beyond , and the new lovers had entered the picture . Men always seem to complicate things for us women . But the thing that touched me was that as each of the girls got close to closing in on a lifetime partner they came to me and asked , " How did you know that Daddy / Sy was right for you ? " I first tried , " You just know ! " And then I said , " Well , ask yourself , could you live the rest of your life happily without this person ? " But in retrospect I remember that I also looked for the Aha Moment . Sy and I hadn 't married yet and he asked me to come with him to his " Dog 's Night Out " dinner group which I mentioned in A Bird and the Dragon . I met many of the men that he worked with and their wives . I didn 't die in the process and some of my shyness eased . By the second invitation I was interested in going . When we stepped into the room everyone yelled Surprise ! and Sy got that funny smirk on his face as he leaned into me and said , " I didn 't know for sure but this appears to be our wedding shower . " The food was good , the laughter fun , and then it came to the gifts . As Sy handed me the second gift I got a little shiver , but hardly noticed it , and started to wrestle with the paper and the box . Sy took ahold of the box for me and I pulled out a brown wooden curved mantle clock . I had to fight back the tears because it was a duplicate of the clock that sat on the mantle for all of my days in my childhood home . I had fond memories of watching my father reset it every time we moved into daylight savings time and back . He 'd stand by the mantle waiting patiently for all the chimes to ring before he moved the hands to the next position . In that instant I got that Aha shimmer . This is the right man for my life . God or my guides are reassuring me . The next Aha Moment came when I took Sy home to meet my mother . This story is also in A Bird and the Dragon . After lunch my mother was doing her cross examination and discovered that Sy was born on the same date as her mother , Mary Emma Gould Moody , whom you have met before in my blogs . [ In the above picture Mary Emma , my Grandmother is in the center . My mother Jordan Elizabeth is standing behind her mother 's right shoulder , Ralph Moody , the author you have heard about before , behind my mother , and their siblings to left and right . ] Mary Emma was very much the head of our extended family . And the fact that Sy 's birthday was the same as her birthday gave him an open door into the family . I 'm only sorry that my grandmother was no longer alive to meet Sy in person . But I know that by now she knows him well , on the other side of the veil . Having the same birthdays was another Aha Moment for me . The third Aha Moment came months after I 'd married Sy and I had driven into Nerme to do my grocery shopping . I was pushing my cart up one of the isles and saw this woman with light red hair standing contemplating something on one of the shelves . She moved her hand up to her face and in that instant I thought , ' I know that gesture , that face . ' But I couldn 't pull up where I had seen this before . Curious , I wheeled my cart around to the other side of that display and then back up toward Toddler Birdie Sanderson [ author ] JessieMay Kesslerthe woman . As I got even with her she turned and said , " Birdie , is that you ? " [ I was nick - named ' my little bird ' by my grandmother as a toddler and the Birdie , which I hated , remained with me up until I went to school . ] I countered with , " Betty , is that you ? " It was indeed Betty . Betty Graves had an older brother and sister that ran with my older brother and sister in high school in the little nowhere town where we all grew up in Massachusetts . [ I 've called it Sharkerton in my books . ] Not only did Betty 's siblings know my siblings , Betty was my 4 - H Club leader when I was eleven and twelve and she was sixteen and seventeen . We chatted and caught up on life events until we got to the fact that she was now the wife of the minister in the Nerme church that Sy , I , and the girls were about to check out as our new church . This was a very large Aha Moment ! How in the world did God ever pull this one off ? Assurance in spades to the fact that Sy and I were meant to be together . Some teachers in the metaphysical world teach that there is a feeling associated with these kinds of events which I call the Aha Moment . Other teachers say that you actually get a shiver or see a shimmer of light when an event like the ones I 've shared , happen to you . Whichever way you receive your information , your mind , heart , or soul are getting confirmation on some issue . Have any of you out there experience something like I 've presented here when you were dating , or courting , or on some other quest ? Tell me ! Tell me ! In case you haven 't guessed by now , I love stories ! My chain of events that fit this concept started back when I was married the first time to Rev . Harvard Lesser . If you have read my book A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir you know that I married a minister right out of college and within a year or so of being his wife we began to try to have children . If you 've read one of my previous blogs about keeping my butterfly you know that having children didn 't start out so well . But that is not where this blog is headed . Harvard and I , along with however many children were with us at the time , would head off to visit my mother in Massachusetts . Sometimes we went because she was lonely or I was , or because it was Thanksgiving which was her big holiday . Many times as we made the turn off of Route 32 heading north to later connect with Route 12 , I would look at the large house on the corner of that intersection and think to myself , ' I wonder who lives there ? I wonder what they do and what they are like . That house looks so homey to me . ' I never happened to share my thoughts with Harvard because he wasn 't into that sort of day dreaming stuff . Now hold that thought for further along in this story . Later , in the marriage to Harvard , he was having a hard time with the church in Grows Town where he was serving as the youth minister and eventually he was given a choice , which ultimately resulted in his leaving the ministry for a while . He went into a deep depression and was virtually a house zombie for most of that winter . The following spring I was out and about doing errands when I ran into this gentleman who wanted to sell me World Book Encyclopedias and I turned him down . But when he asked if I knew of anyone who might want a job selling encyclopedias I answered , " Yes . " I told him about Harvard , that he had worked as a minister but was now taking some time away . It wasn 't too much later when this same gentleman showed up at our door and began a cold sell to see if he could enlist Harvard to become a salesman for the company . Ultimately , Harvard joined the company and sold World Book Encyclopedias for several years . Now , Harvard 's temperament was generally fairly even , although he was talkative , except during those times when someone had made him very upset and he would have ( as I 've called it before ) a hissy - fit . So this particular evening when he got home from selling I was surprised at how quiet he was and noted his spirit seemed down . " Harvard , is there something wrong ? " I asked . He dodged my question at first but then he came out with it . " Well , I 'd gotten a teacher from the school where this couple have their children and I enlisted her to get us in the door . It is a technique that we use all the time . When the wife discovered that I was there to sell World Book instead of talking about one of their children she went ballistic . As her husband came back from the kitchen with a glass of water for me , he quickly understood what was going on and insisted that we leave . " Now we move several years forward in the story . I 've met Sy in the divorce group and we have begun to date and share stories from our pasts . My children , who of course are going back and forth to visit with their father , Harvard , were busy filling him in on all the details of their mother 's new romance . One day as he returned my girls from their visit he asked if I had a moment to talk and I invited him into the kitchen . He said , " I was wondering , does your new boyfriend live in Nerme in a big blue house sort of set on a hill with a swing set off to the left of the house ? No longer being as compassionate towards Harvard as I was before , I responded with , " Isn 't that amazing ! What a small world ! " I 'm not sure my comment gave Harvard what he wanted , but his information certainly surprised me . [ The first waltz in my recognition that Sy and I were together because of God 's timing , not ours . ] Later , as Sy and I shared more of our history I discovered that while I was a new bride in the old farmhouse parsonage of Harvard 's first parish , Sy was newly returned from serving his country and was going on the GI bill to college at University of CT . The parsonage sat high on the hill above Route 32 and Sy was driving up and down Route 32 almost daily from the lower end of Connecticut to the college . When he first told me I said , " Why didn 't you wave when you went by ? " and he replied , " You didn 't tell me you were up there waiting for me ! " [ Waltz two in our dance on God 's time . ] Okay , now to the house on the corner . In A Bird and the Dragon I talk about trying to find someone to care for our girls while we take a mini vacation to go introduce Sy to my sister PollyAnne and her family in central Vermont . We had a lot of trouble finding someone who would babysit the girls on a Halloween weekend . Finally , Sy 's in - laws , Bootsie and Joe , said they could take the girls . The car was packed , the girls were loaded in and we are driving along Route 32 heading north . As we made the turn in the road that Harvard and I always took going to my mother 's , Sy waved his hand in the direction of my day - dream house and said , " Bootsie and Joe moved not too long ago but they used to live in that big house right on the corner . " I think my mouth fell open at that point and all I could say was , " I 've always loved that house ! " [ Waltz three in God 's timing . ] Have you ever had these kinds of experiences with someone close to you ? It really makes me believe that there is a plan to our lives which is ever unfolding and it is up to us to figure out and do our part to bring it to fruition , even if we don 't understand the plan . I 'd like to hear about your stories of finding your intimate connections to important people in your lives . P . S . The featured image as my Topper is looking across the Nashoba River Valley from east to west . And if you look very closely there is a perpendicular white spec about a fourth of the way from the right of the picture . That is the water tower that provided the water for the boys at the Industrial School for Boys , in Shirley ( Shakerton ) Massachusetts and was just above my parent 's retirement home . The Industrial School has been leveled and in it 's place is a maximum security prison , which was on the news last night ( April 19 , 2017 ) because of the suicide of a famous inmate , Aaron Hernandez . Sex ! What Fun ! ! April 14 , 2017 ~ MyLittleBird123 ~ Leave a comment If you have read or read a review of my first book A Bird and the Dragon : Their Love Story : A Memoir you have already realized that my second husband , Sy and I got the wonderful challenge of raising five pre - teen and teenaged girls - some were his and some were mine . And if you have read the book , you came across the point where I describe an incident in which Cora , the oldest girl , asked for some information at the dinner table about an issue with her menstrual cycle , while her father nearly vacated the scene by sliding down in his chair . So yes , the topic of sex did have to be addressed with that many girls . I think it is easier for a person to talk about sex when that person 's first sexual encounters came off without any lasting trauma : that would be me , as you will see below . In last week 's blog about the dogs I mentioned that my father worked at the Industrial School for Juvenile Delinquent boys in Shakerton , Massachusetts . He was the landscape instructor and was in charge of teaching a group of boys how to garden and maintain the grounds of the school . He was called a Master and each Master had the privilege of pulling one of his best - behaved boys out of the group to go and work mornings in the home for the Master 's wife . These boys were called all - morning boys . We always had one and they usually felt this was a superior job and it often came with goodies to eat and take back to the cottages for the other boys . dwindled down to just one community in Harvard , Massachusetts . ( My childhood home was located down the hill toward the top and right of the picture above . ) So in the Shaker style my bedroom was really a storage closet . It was just the right size for me and I felt safe there . One day when I was playing in my room the all - morning boy came into my room - not that unusual because they did a lot of the housework , dusting and mopping . He kind of stood between me and the doorway . As I got up off my bed to leave the room he pulled down his zipper and pulled out his gift for me with the comment , " You can play with him if you want . " As a seven year old , I took one look and said , " He 's ugly ! No I don 't want to play with him ! ! " and flounced out of the room . Personal dignity or honesty saved me . Later when I was about ten or eleven , the State of Massachusetts decided that they needed a larger road to run between the western part of Massachusetts and Bunker City . To my delight they started to build Route 2 through the woods and the back end of the school about a mile away from my house . By now I was allowed to roam and so after school I would walk down to the work site and watch the giant earth movers move the rocks and soil around into what would be the base for the new highway . Over time I struck up a conversation with one of the foremen and we chatted off and on about his work and my school . I liked Nick and I loved his red convertible . This particular day I rode my bicycle down to visit with Nick and I found he was in his car and about to drive out of the work site . I ran my bicycle over to the side of his car to ask where he was going . He told me and then he asked me if I wanted to take a ride with him . I hesitated for a moment and in that instant he grabbed the handlebar of my bicycle . Instinct kick in and I yelled , " No I don 't want to go for a ride with you ! " and I wrenched the handle bars back under my control and pushed off from where I was standing in one colossal move . You can believe I rode with every ounce of strength I had to get back to my house before he could catch me . In retrospect I realize that he let me go because it was too public a place , but I didn 't know that at the time . As I careened into my back yard , I dropped my bike and raced for the dining room and the love seat that was there . I curled up as small as I could and began to cry . My mother must have heard me because in a short while she came and sat beside me on the love seat . Her hand on my back caused the horrible story to come tumbling out . She didn 't say much except , " I think you have learned a big lesson . And now you understand why your father and I didn 't want you to go there to visit . You are never to go back there again ! ! " I assured her that I would never go back . When I was a very little girl my mother talked to me about where babies grow before they are born and gave me pictures to look at and assured me that I could always ask her any questions about the topic . We didn 't have sexual education in the schools at that time so I really didn 't know that I didn 't have all the information , yet . By the time I was in high school and sixteen Tino entered my life . You will read all about Tino in my third book Hunt the Beloved : to Find a Heart . ( The intended cover of the book is below ) Tino came from ' the other side of the tracks ' , according to my mother , because he was a swarthy American - Italian Catholic boy . And , as you can imagine , in time the sexual passion began to rise between us . At that point I realized that my mother had left something out of my sex education and so I asked Tino to tell me . I will leave it for you to find out by reading the book as to how he went about teaching me , but I think it will touch your heart . So now we come to the issue of educating our own girls . I did take all the girls for an initial introduction to the subject as we girls sat around that maple dining room table . But the younger two were not ready for a deeper discussion . So at times I 'd talk to one or the other of the older girls and I didn 't do too much educating with the twins because I figured that older girls would instruct the younger girls and there was no need to make a big issue out of the subject . But just in case any of them missed information they needed I purchased Our Bodies , Our Selves a book that was popular back in the eighties for being written by women for women and in a voice level that most girls could understand . I put the book in our living room library and told the girls it was there for them to use any time they wanted and if there was something they didn 't understand they could bring the book to me and we 'd go through it together . Several months later I was dusting the books in the bookcase and I noticed Our Bodies , Our Selves seemed to be missing . At supper that evening I asked , " Does anyone know where our sex book has gone ? " I think it was Elizabeth who said , " Yeah , Katie 's mother won 't tell her anything about sex so I told her she could take the book and keep it for a while . " After I regrouped I said , " Honey , that was so thoughtful of you but maybe Katie 's mother doesn 't want her to know and she certainly doesn 't want the mother across the street to be giving Katie instructions . So I think it would be good if you asked for the book back . " |
These are the last pictures my dead camera has taken . Sonja dropped it tonight , and I think the lens is jammed beyond fixing . My camera died on Halloween night . Here are the last pictures . . . . Jonathan , a . k . a . Superman , with Abigail the Alien . . . . Kathryn the pirate with Camille , Santa Claus . Superman with Suzanne , a teacher . Charlotte Claire , the tired little kitty . . . . ( in McDonalds after trick or treating in 3 neighborhoods ) Superman sucking his thumb , Sonja ( Fancy Nancy ) , and Grace ( their cousin , my dear niece 's daughter ) as a princess . . . . at McDonalds . . . . Kathryn the pirate with pink boots . Superman sure is in alot of picures . . . . here he is with Emily the Environmentalist . She was going to a girls ' party after our trick - or - treating , and they had to dress as something using the first letter of their name . . . . Samuel , some kind of non - commisioned officer . . . . with Camille Claus , and Charlotte Kitty . . . . He had the time of his life tonight . . . his favorite take : an old man gave him a baggie with a $ 10 Japanese dollar from world war II . . . . and a few old German coins . . . . . the poor old man . It made me sad . The coins were carded and carefully labeled . He sure picked the right boy to give some to . . . . . . I told Sam he probably would have had some interesting stories to tell , the old man . We took the kids to a nice neighborhood , seeing that most of our neighbors are corn fields and cows . Then , back into the van to another neighborhood . . . . . as they ate candy all the way there . . . they went to quite a few houses , then back into the van . . . . . . one more neighborhood , just a few streets , and they were giving up . Sonja had to go to the bathroom and her ankles hurt . . . . Margaret didn 't feel well . Charlotte Claire wanted to be carried . Oh , she was so funny . She enjoyed herself so much . She liked walking through the leaves , the night was so warm and mild . Just going up people 's porch steps , and seeing the Jack - o - lanterns were big deals for her . She didn 't really know what it all was , but when she said , " Trick - or - Treat " , they gave her candy ! She mostly took 16 blessings ' mom the kids just got home on the bus , and we are to begin the fun process of getting everyone dressed up . We don 't buy the costumes , we have aquired a Superman outfit for Jon from a friend of a friend . . . . . and , Charlotte Claire 's kitty costume has been around here for a while . . . oh yeah , I got it at Walmart a few years ago after halloween for 75 % off . And I made Sonja 's Fancy Nancy dress last year , when she was a princess . The kids usually just gather stuff from around the house . . . . so , I 'll try to get some pictures . . . . the fun part is , the 3 little ones dressed up for school , and will wear something tonight , and maybe something different for the Fall feast at church tomorrow . . . . . . so we will have lots of fun . . . . . . At the same time , we have to make sure the travelers to Canada have their passports , and Molly has her birthcertificate and photo I . D . , and some money , and some snacks for the trip . They will be leaving about when we are leaving for trick - or - treating . . . . just fun and chaos . . . . and I didn 't make dinner yet , so I am thinking one burger from the drive - through , and coming home and having something later . . . . . the kids might be too excited to eat very properly , anyway . I get so caught up in their excitement , I swear I have never grown up . . . . . I am trying to decide if I want to dress up too . . . . . Today , we are just blessed with beautiful weather . Sunny and warm , almost 60 degrees . I went out in the hot tub with Jonathan and Charlotte Claire while Camille napped . It was lots of fun , and I certainly didn 't take it for granted like I might have a month ago , when this weather was common . . . . . Well , time to get moving . . . . Jon and Charlotte Claire were excited to go bye - bye today . Camille is smart . She knew we were going somewhere , and when I put her down to take her picture , she was furious . . . . She looks so sweet in her little pink coat . It was like $ 2 last spring at a garage sale . . . . Kathryn is such a great helper . . . . . The new Fisher - Price remote control Dinosaur , in the plastic case , just push the button for a scary demonstration . . . . . at least one little girl thought it was scary . Jonathan just plain wanted it . For $ 129 . 99 , I don 't think so . . . . Desolate . That 's how the trees look when the wind has whipped their leaves off . . . . . Joseph , Aaron , and Molly are going to Ottowa , Canada , for the weekend . I just found out . Oh well . I am glad for them , they are part of a wonderful youth group . That leaves fewer of us for Trick - or Treating . Emily and Abigail are going along with me , with Sam , Margaret , Kathryn , Evelyn , Suzanne , Sonja , Jonathan , Charlotte Claire , and Camille . We have only been doing this for a few years now . It 's funny to be so against something for so many years , and then question why you thought it was so wrong . . . . and change your mind . I personally didn 't think it was too bad , but Paul didn 't care for it . Come to find out , he just doesn 't care for Halloween , he would rather do other things . . . . he has no problem with me taking the kids , and wishes us the best of fun , and would come if we wanted him to . But you know how it is when someone is just along because they are asked to , and don 't really want to be there ? It 's better to just leave him home , and have lots of fun without worrying about whether he wants to get going now . . . . . It 's hard to explain , but I enjoy being the pilot of the big white van sometimes , stopping for a coffee if I please , and taking all the live long day . . . . . he is not a tryrant , just someone who doesn 't like to galavant like I do . . . . but we sure do like each other . I am heading in for a nap , which I hate to do , because it is a waste of time . But on the other hand , I love naps . I have to leave the older kids here watching the younger ones , Camille is in bed , and Charlotte Claire is going in . . . . . Camille was a real fuss again last night . She was just awake for a long time . I wonder if her throat hurts or something . She has no fever , but is a little bit stuffy . She wouldn 't even nurse last night , just wanted to be held . And I wanted to sleep . . . . . I had an adventurous day . Kathryn stayed home today ( I got tired of Camille emptying out what we call the " pony drawer " , where we keep the brushes , hair elastics ( ( ponies ) ) , and barettes . . . . and some pennies , other assorted small items . So last night we put the contents of the drawer into a plastic bag . Including the hairbrushes ) . . . . so today , Kathryn could not find the hairbrush . She missed the bus . She could have gone on second trip , but begged not to . Yeah , I know , I could have sent her , but she hates going in late . . . . and she has been asking for a day off for a while . I am glad she was here . I had to go to Walmart . Camille pooped halfway through the shopping trip . I chose not to drag the kids back to the bathroom and change her , but hurry and finish , and change her in the van . Bad decision . She was so fussy . Her bottom was sore . She cried for the last 15 - 20 minutes of our trip . I feel sorry for Charlotte Claire and Jonny when stuff like that happens , because they are being so good , and I like to enjoy things more . So , I should have just changed her . But I didn 't . . . . . I got the kids each a little carton of chocolate or pink milk , and a 30cent bag of chips . So , it was fun . We came home and had some leftover soup for lunch , and put Camille to bed . Exciting , eh ? Charlotte Claire was good in the store except when I let her out at the register to sit on the bench in front with Kathryn and Jon . . . . and she took off to play with the outrageously expensive toy cell phones at a register a few down from me . ( $ 2 . 98 ! ) . . . . . I went and got her , and bucklPosted by The kids went running out , apparently snow is fun for them . . . . Jon 's feet look a little cold . Yum , fresh snow for Charlotte Claire . . . . . . . they didn 't stay out there for more than 2 minutes . . . . They did get all dressed warm this morning , and were out for 6 or 7 minutes . They just aren 't used to the cold . I did go for my walk this afternoon . It was freezing , and a cold wind was blowing . The high today was around 39 degrees . . . . . and maybe I 'm crazy , but I thought it felt very refreshing . Better cold than too hot . I made Jon a neat paper airplane tonight , it doesn 't really even fly very well , and you 'd have thought I gave him a million bucks . . . . the really likes it . I hate it when kids love things that are so temporary and breakable . . . . . I cleaned out my purse , and set aside some of my really long grocery receipts for him to play with tomorrow with his cash register . My mother - in - law called tonight , she is in Florida for the winter , and she said it was cold down there . Her heat ran all night last night . Strange weather . Paul suggested tonight that we switch Charlotte Claire and Camille around , so that Camille is in her own room . I 'm not sure I want to risk Charlotte Claire changing her excellent sleeping habits . There is something nice about a two year old that loves going to bed at night . We do cheat and put her in bed with her bottle , but it doesn 't seem to hurt anything . What do the experts know , anyway ? I would never consider myself an expert at child - raising . Because each child is different , and I find myself stumped about things I hadn 't encountered before . But some things I have learned : 1 . Never use the crib , or bedroom as a punishment place . It is a gooood , nice place . Naps are good , yummy . Going night - night is cuddly and good , NEVER use it as a threat . Mommy and Daddy have the advantage of marketing these things to be as appealing as possible . 2 . Wait until they are ready to potty - train , if you want to do it the easiest way . Don 't listen to your mother - in - law . I have trained 14 kids so far , and I choose the path16 blessings ' mom Let me start with saying I am tired . I didn 't get to go to bed early last night as planned because I remembered that Molly was not home yet . She was out celebrating a friend 's birthday , she was with a very responsible older sister of the friend , a good girl , but still . A mom cannot just go to bed when the 14 year old daughter isn 't home yet . Then Jon cried for some juice , so it was good mom was still up anyway , or he would have woken up the 3 girls . So , finally to bed . . . . . and Miss Camille had an awake spell last night . I got her out of bed SIX times ! Each time , I snuggled with her , nursed her , rocked her , and put her back in her little pink bed . I tip - toed back to my nice warm bed , got all settled in , and she would cry again . . . . sometimes right away , sometimes in 5 - 10 minutes , right when I started dozing . When I picked her up , she would whisper , " shh " , or " nigh , nigh " . . . the fifth time I tried to nurse her , she refused , and said , " ba , ba ' ' ' ' . . . . yeah , right . Finally , after time # 6 , she stayed in bed and went to sleep . Now , if she had her own room , or if Paul didn 't have to get up and go to work , I would try something different . But I don 't want to get into that now . The fact is , I am tired . And the thought crossed my mind not to get up and wake up the school kids this morning . But I did . Here is Sonja K . , all ready to go . She is in first grade . The perfect age , 6 years old . She still likes wearing tights to school . And she is happy about school . Suzanne is having her " stay home " day . Just a random day where she gets to stay home , to get some extra attention . She has gone outside 3 times this morning , looking for snow . We didn 't get very much , it didn 't stay on the ground , but we got enough on the deck and picnic table , that she has two snowballs in the freezer to show Jon when he wakes up . The thought that got me out of bed this morning : Emily 's " I have learned to do what I do not like doing " . . . . . and last night , when I couldn 't get Camille settled in , ( she was playing with my face in the dark , and just enjoying herse16 blessings ' mom Jonathan , all jammied up and ready for bed . He is a surprisingly good boy when he is sick . . . . he doesn 't just milk it , enjoying the laying around and being waited on like some of them do . . . . he actually offered to help pick up when I was going to vacuum today . And he insisted on coming to the dinner table with a fever of 102 . He didn 't eat much , but he wanted to save his plate . Then he spilled his cup of water all over his plate when he was getting down . I felt bad for him . I told him I would make him another good plate of food tomorrow , same stuff , when he was feeling better . Then , we watched " The Great Pumpkin , Charlie Brown " or whatever it 's called . . . . and the kids all got to have some ice cream , which we bought for our company who didn 't end up coming . He didn 't even eat his . So , I told him he could have some for breakfast if he wants . These two may look sweet , but don 't let them fool you . They are sitting in a hula hoop . I am having a lot of trouble with Charlotte Claire being too rough with Camille . Some of it is just strong - arming her , trying to protect her . Pulling her away from things . Pushing her down when she 's getting into stuff . But the other kind of being rough is harder to deal with , more disturbing , although probably normal . She just will go and lay on her . Or sit on her . . . . or hit her with a book . . . . . so , each time she does this , I scold her firmly , give her a little swat on the behind , lead her to a kitchen chair , and tell her that it is not nice to hit baby , or whatever she has done . And she cries for a while . She hasn 't figured out yet that she can just hop off the chair , she sits there and cries until I get her . . . . just a few minutes . And then she hugs me , and tells baby sorry . She likes being my friend , and I think she is getting it that I am upset with her when she is mean . She is the very definition of energy . But , she is also so sweet and huggy . She likes being carried around by the big kids . She seems a bit lost during the day . If I only had three kids all the time , it would be different than Posted by and with that as the title , what else can I say ? Actually , Jonathan is the only one sick , so far . Just moments after I took this picture of him , he started to throw - up . And of course I was nursing the tired and fussy Camille , who had already waited for mommy long enough . . . I had to put her down , and rush over to Jon . . . . . I need a bowl , quick , so I grabbed the wipes container , took the wipes out really quickly , and put that under his chin . It wasn 't such a bad mess , as he has only had a few drinks today . Poor boy . And poor Camille . I am so apologetic today . Charlotte Claire 's biggest concern during all this was the abandoned wipes . She was just chattering away about it . . . . ( I was a bit concerned that Jon was going to get stuff on the couch , but shh , don 't tell anyone ) . . . . anyway , Charlotte found another wipes container , and put the wipes away properly . Here she is playing with her dolly and dolllhouse . . . . She takes such tender care of her dolly . . . . makes me wonder why she hits Camille . . . . I didn 't get a chance to write anything yesterday . . . . I was pretty busy here , and when I took a few minutes to go on the computer , I checked my e - mail , and had one from M . , as she likes to be referred to on here . I had to answer her , and then it was time to go shopping . I am so glad I didn 't bring Jonathan . Molly and I just took Camille . So , it was alot easier , and more productive , and fun in a way , but not as fun as bringing along a bunch of them . I have never been one to leave the kids home to make it easier , we live a ways away from everything , and it 's nice for them to get out and about , too . And how can you go past a train , bus , tractor , or race - car without someone to point it out to ? Yes , we did some shopping . Mostly groceries . But I did pick up a few really adorable outfits for my niece , Susan . We are going to a baby shower for her on Sunday . I already got her some things for next summer , but I got her a few nice little things for now . I really like brown and light blue together . We were going to have Susan and Thomas , and the othPosted by wonderful , cozy , frightening . . . . a cold front is moving through the Northeast , bringing some rain , and a few thunder storms . One crash of thunder sounded like it was right in the front yard . . . . Charlotte Claire was sitting at the table playing " Chutes and Ladders " , and she scrambled up , across the table , and flew into Kathryn 's arms . . . . her and Jon were huddled on my lap within seconds . . . . then a few more loud ones , and it passed over . The kids were concerned that the power might go out , so I encouraged them to pick up a few things so we wouldn 't trip ( aren 't I awful ? ) . . . . . and Sam got his wind - y ( no batteries necessary ) flashlight out . . . . . but , the power didn 't go out . More colder weather is coming . Tuesday night / Wednesday morning , it will be 20 degrees in the upper atmosphere ( 5 , 000 ft . ) , and the water temperature of Lake Ontario is in the 50 's . Perfect conditions for lake effect snow . Now , we usually don 't get much snow in October , but we have . . . . . it could happen . Or , it could just be rainy with a few flurries mixed in . . . . . . there are areas just miles from here that really get pounded with snow , like Oswego . It 's right on the southeast corner of Lake Ontario , and the wind goes across the lake , and wham . . . . also , the areas directly east of the lake get hammered with snow . We are south - east of the lake , south of Oswego , but we get out fair share . . . . the thing is , Abigail commutes to college in Oswego . Even when they grow up , they are still mommy 's kiddies . . . . I am going grocery shopping with Molly tomorrow . She cut the coupons today , and is going to try to save us some money . Mariel will be proud of her . Speaking of Mariel , I miss her SO much . She is our healthy eating conscience . One of our first dinners we had when she was gone , we had corn for a vegetable , in addition to mashed potatoes ! She would not have allowed that . . . . two starches . . . two many carbs . . . . . her commitment to a healthy lifestyle has not totally changed us all , but it has rubbed off in a postive way . Molly and Margaret go running almost daily now . And AaronPosted by taking a bath . Good thing it 's the spare carseat , that Charlotte Claire uses for her dollies . . . . . I ran into a woman today , who was lamenting that there are halloween costumes and patterns for dogs , but not for cats . . . . . and I thought I was crazy . . . . As I get older , I notice my tolerance for noise decreases . . . . especially non - essential noise . Banging the spoon handles on the table , singing to the mp3 players , slamming , banging , arguing . Help ! I can 't get sick of this game , I am in the middle of it ! Has it gotten louder in here ? Hey , maybe that 's why older people develop trouble hearing , maybe it 's just mercy . . . . . a little gift . . . . My niece 's husband , his brother , and two friends just stopped in to pick up Joseph . . . . they are going off on a late night adventure to Applebees or Denny 's . Well , this house was so neat and clean this morning . Vacuumed , swept , toys put away . . . . then I was gone for a while , and life happened . . . . there are clothes , hair ponies , barrettes , socks , toys . . . . . just scattered . . . . . a 15 minute clean - up , and it would be fine . . . . but did they give us 15 minutes notice ? And that is just as well , because I am tired . . . . . . . I do not feel like cleaning up tonight . Wait , do I ever feel like cleaning up ? My daughter Emily , the nurse , said something the other day that has stuck with me . . . . she said , " " " I have gotten very good at doing what I do not like . . . . " Isn 't that one of the hallmarks of being an adult ? You don 't have to love it , just do it . All the whining I do about the weather is going to just get worse , I tell you . Having several children on a nice warm day cannot even compare to what it 's like to have several children on a freezing , rainy or snowy day . Because they are IN THE HOUSE . And , this house has no play room . . . . just the cozy little living room . Which connects to the kitchen via two doorways , making it a perfect set - up for the chase each other around the cirlce game . . . . which gets old for me very fast . . . . . last year , I bought a $ 19 mini - trampoline , which took the edge off their energy levels - they used alPosted by Suzanne , Kathryn , and Jonathan . . . . . . we went to Chinese for lunch . . . . the kids didn 't have school , so I took eleven of them out and about . . . . ( Em was at work , Ab was at college , Ben went to work , Mariel is still far away in Canada , and Joseph stayed home in the nice quiet house and played his guitar . . . . hmm , he 's smart ) Charlotte Claire likes her ice cream . . . . Camille sat here for over an hour , and was happy . . . . . those sugar fried donuts make anyone happy , I guess . . . . They sure can get our money 's worth . . . . We went to the Rescue Mission store after here , and found a few good things . Aaron and Molly came over to me with these giant trench coats and big black boots , saying , " Please , please . . . " Take them off . . . . . I found some things in the 50cent bin . . . I made a quick stop in the Game Stop for Sam 's birthday present . . . . his birthday was August 2 , and I finally got his game . . . . Then , on to the : grocery store ! The kids were thrilled ! ! ! not . So , after a massive bathroom break , we started shopping - and nice mom that I am , I let them stop in the bulk foods sections , and each get a bag and pick out some candy . Aaron is 15 , and Molly 14 , and Sam is 13 , so they are old enough to supervise . . . . I got half way through the store before they were finished . Which is good , because the train of us all going up and down the aisles is quite slow . I mean , if one or two kids walk down the middle of the aisle and get in someones way , oh well . . . . but when 5 or six are meandering around . . . . . I try to make them stay in a row . . . . We never ended getting our pumpkins . . . we will have to go tomorrow or something . . . . Jon was very disapointed , but it was dusk when we passed the pumpkin place . . . . Groceries are expensive . I just buy the cheap stuff , and we have our economy meal , spaghetti , once a week . I buy alot of chicken because it is cheap . And chicken simmered in cream of celery or cream of chicken soup is very good over rice or potatoes . . . . I am hoping the turkeys are cheap again around thanksgiving so I can put 4 or 5 in the freezer . I try to stock up oPosted by frost on the back yard . . . and frost on our screen door . . . . frost on the chair Joseph put in the tree in the front yard . . . . frost on my nice Inglesina Zippy left out in the front yard overnight - oops ! ! ! Camille can ride a bike . . . . Look mom , no hands ! Needless to say , it is chilly here . Today is forecasted to be clear and sunny , and not too chilly . The kids want to go pumpkin picking . We need some groceries . Can I combine the two things ? Bring 10 or 12 kids to the grocery store ? Then to the pumpkin patch ? hmmmm . . . . . . and I want to get more apples . Other direction . . . . . this apple place I have gone to sells large paper grocery bags full of apples , all varieties , for $ 5 a bag . We have gone through 4 bags so far . We are getting spoiled . And now they are almost gone . . . . Whatever we end up doing today , I am praying that I can be patient . And hear what God is saying to me . Then it will go well . Does this look like a child capable of dialing " 911 " ? Of all the mathematical combinations possible for an 11 month old child to dial , what are the chances that she would call " 911 " ? And since I happen to know the protocal when a nine - one - one call is recieved , I knew the police were on the way . The man from the county call center called here to ask if we had an emergency , since they had gotten the call from here . . . . . I had just taken the phone away from Camille the amazing active baby . I had heard her pressing buttons . I assured him that we were okay , it must have been the baby who was just playing with the phone . . . . when I was talking to him , I know I sounded like I had done something wrong , because I was a bit shaken up . They take each call pretty seriously . . . . . My daughter Kathryn called 911 a few years back , Margaret told her to when they were playing . . . . ha , , ha , , . . . . the police sent someone out . A cop . Knocking at the door . At that moment , whoever was the toddler had just taken off all his clothes and dragged a chair over to the kitchen sink . . . . then came the knock . . . I told the officer that my 8 year old daughter had done it . . . . he asked to talk to her , and she was so upset and scared . . . . he told her it wasn 't funny at all . And he mentioned that their policy was to send the police out to check things out whenever they get that 911 call . . . . . so , today I knew they were coming . And I started feeling like I had something to hide . Like they were going to search the house or something . Can they arrest you for a messy laundry room ? Anyway , this time I was prepared . . . . . . I put my hair up neatly , and changed out of my ridiculously short around the house skirt , brushed my teeth , changed Camille out of the half ' snapped sleeper she was crawling around in , and got it picked up and vacuumed in here . . . . and no one showed up . So , we decided to go out in the sunshine for a little walk . . . . . Sunny , but quite chilly . . . . . . . There is not much traffic on our road . . . . but as we were walking along , I heard a car , and alerted Jon that we were goPosted by Story # 1 . Taking Jonathan and Sonja to the doctor for a rash they have had . This trip also included Kathryn Grace who was looking for a day off , and heard we were taking a trip out and about . . . . . the dr . office is in a building with those nice big blue buttons that open the doors . Irresistable to children . Worth fighting about , to them . Even worth waiting until the doors close so they can have a turn . Then out to the rainy cold parking lot to the big messy van . . . . Story # 2 . Somehow when I told the kids about their upcoming dr . visit , I said maybe we can go to McDonalds afterward . I don 't know why I said that , it just came out . So of course I had to take them there . Hotwheels cars and mini - Barbie dolls . . . . . so , I sprung for 3 happy meals . But I didn 't use my credit card , I made an extra stop at the bank . How virtuous I am . ha . Charlotte Claire pooped at the Playplace . . . . . so I had to trust Kathryn , 10 , with Camille while I changed her diaper . Then , I really had to pee . Maybe just seeing the toilet , but I had to go so badly . I left Charlotte Claire , still in her stocking feet , sitting on the change table while I went quick . I couldn 't stand the thought of her stocking feet on the bathroom floor , and I couldn 't send her out with Kathryn who already had Camille . So I took aa chance that she would sit there like a good girl , and she did . Whew . If you 've ever taken a group of small children to Mcdonalds Playplace , you know how much fun it is to tell them it 's time to leave now . . . . and then to actually gather them , shoe and coat them , and herd them out to the van . . . . put away the kids , buckle them in , again , and put the stroller away . . . . . in the rain . Story # 3 . WalMart ! ! ! Prescriptions to fill . 30 minutes ? How could it take 30 minutes ? Okay , we 'll go look at the fish . And yes , we will look at the toys , but we are not buying any . Just so you know . We were halfway through the toys , and Camille decided to poop . So we headed back to the back of the store bathroom , and Kathryn stayed outside the bathroom door with Charlotte ClaiPosted by October has always been a strange month for me . 14 years ago my mother had her first heart attack in October . I 'll never forget the phone call from my brother one early morning . . . . of course when your brother calls you early in the morning , you know it 's something bad . I remember driving home from visiting her in the hospital , and seeing all the Halloween decorations , particularly the fake grave stones , and skeletons . When the death of someone you love looms as a very real possibility , these things are just stomach - turning . I don 't mind the trick - or - treat and dressing up aspect of Halloween , but no thank you to the gore . . . . . . We didn 't celebrate trick or treating with the kids for several years . We have a wonderful Fall Feast each year at church . But somewhere along the line , we realized there was nothing wrong with the kids dressing up and going out for candy . I had assumed for years that it was wrong to ask people for candy . But now I see that most people , people who have their lights on and decorations up , WANT to give kids candy . I know my parents absolutely loved a chance to blesss the children , and they were blessed in return . They were the " good " house , that gave lots of good candy to each child , and my mom always talked to the kids and got a good kick out of their costumes . So , when we started taking the kids trick - or treating , we of course took them down to the nice suburban neighborhood my parents lived in . We live on a rural road , with houses far apart . . . . I have been known to dress a little silly too , just to see the look on my Dad 's face . One year , I dressed as a clown . My face looked so funny , I surprised myself when I looked in the mirror . That year , we stopped at Little Cesaers for some $ 5 pizzas . . . . I pulled up to the curb to let a few of the older kids go in and pick it up . A cop ( excuse me , a police officer ) walked up to the van and asked me what I thought I was doing . Just getting pizza , is that okay with you ? I don 't know what posessed me to answer so rudely . . . . . then I glanced in my rearwiew mirrPosted by Here is Margaret 's homemade chocolate / vanilla marble bundt cake , and one of the apple pies we made today . . . . . Margaret got to stay home from school today . She got out the cookbook , and wanted to try something new . I was already peeling apples for the pies , and had to peel squash , and potatoes , and clean , and take care of the kids . . . . and she wanted to bake something additional ! So , I let her . She did just fine . And , it tasted delicious . Sometimes you just have to give in . Her and I tend to butt heads a bit , but we had a good day together . Here are Sam and Joe relaxing after our guests left . . . . . Emily , doing a bit of homework . . . . Here is Charlotte Claire with Martin , a friend of ours , and my niece 's husband 's brother . . . . Here is my niece 's husband , Thomas , with Evelyn and Suzanne . . . . . can you tell he came from a family of 13 ? Susan is having a baby in December , my sister 's second grandchild . . . . this baby is being fought over already , among the aunties , and the great - aunt . . . . and the gramma . . . . Marius , a friend , holds Camille , who isn 't too sure about him . . . . Well , just in our family there were 15 for dinner tonight , as Ben and Emily had classes . , and Mariel is still in Canada . . . then we had 4 guests , so we had to bring in the Little Tikes table for a few of the little ones . It was noisy . The kids were so excited to have company , they were bouncing off the walls . They stayed up extra late , and will no doubt be hard to drag out of bed in the morning , but it was so worth it ! ! ! This is Sonja K . I don 't know why we call her Sonja K . , but we do . Her middle name is Kathleen , so that is probably partly why . . . . anyway , she is funny . She somehow got in on my walk this afternoon . I am so000 stupid . I told her she could come along , but she had to walk fast , and not say she was tired , because I needed to go all the way down the road . . . . okay , she said . And she meant it . I am totally out - energized by this six year old . She scooted right along . As we went up the big hill , which I usually struggle with by the time I get to the top , measuring my progress by how many gasping breaths I have to take . . . she asked me if I was tired , because she wasn 't . . . . and she chatted all the way up that hill . She outpaced me all the way , then when we got close to the house , we could hear the kids out on the trampoline , and she wanted to run back the rest of the way . . . I was like , " You can run ? " . . . . . . stupid me . . . . . . Camille Anaya is getting so big . . . . she will be one year old on November 7th . . . . Aah , the t . v . remote ! She loves to walk around the furniture . . . . Charlotte Claire did not want to wear these tights to church today . . . . but daddy put them on her anyway . . . . Camille was alarmed at her crying . . . . Yum , this Easter cottage that I bought for 90 % off after Easter , and they finally talked me into letting them make , is good stuff . . . . Margaret , Kathryn , and Evelyn . . . . They had a good time decorating it , and eating the decorations . . . . Here she is , ready to go . . . . Another busy day . . . . Margaret and Kathryn helped me put away a few boxes of sandals , and sort through the shoes that are outgrown . Then we sorted through the sweaters and jackets . There are 10 hooks , so I gave one to 9 of the younger ones . Paul and I can keep ours in our room , and Camilles ' , too . . . . . as can the older ones . I left one hook for random jackets , like if you pick one up and don 't know who 's it is . . . I often think that life would be easier if we had a mud room , but there 's not much sense wishing . . . . . We also took care of the big pile of clothes on the couch . It is clPosted by I am a stay at home mom with 16 kids , no twins , Army mom , wife to Paul ( still crazy about him ! ! ! ) . . . 8 kids are still at home . . . . the kids : Emily 31 , Abigail 30 , Benjamin 28 ( his wife Ashley and our granddaughter Anya 3 ) , Mariel 26 , Joseph 25 , Aaron 24 , MollyRose 22 ( and granddaughter Lydia , 1 ) , Samuel 21 , Margaret 20 ( and son - in - law Adrian ! ) , Kathryn 18 , Evelyn 17 , Suzanne 15 , Sonja 14 , Jonathan 12 , Charlotte Claire 10 , and Camille 9 . Help for life can be found at www . activechristianity . com , which is a great source of encouragement for me . View my complete profile |
These are the last pictures my dead camera has taken . Sonja dropped it tonight , and I think the lens is jammed beyond fixing . My camera died on Halloween night . Here are the last pictures . . . . Jonathan , a . k . a . Superman , with Abigail the Alien . . . . Kathryn the pirate with Camille , Santa Claus . Superman with Suzanne , a teacher . Charlotte Claire , the tired little kitty . . . . ( in McDonalds after trick or treating in 3 neighborhoods ) Superman sucking his thumb , Sonja ( Fancy Nancy ) , and Grace ( their cousin , my dear niece 's daughter ) as a princess . . . . at McDonalds . . . . Kathryn the pirate with pink boots . Superman sure is in alot of picures . . . . here he is with Emily the Environmentalist . She was going to a girls ' party after our trick - or - treating , and they had to dress as something using the first letter of their name . . . . Samuel , some kind of non - commisioned officer . . . . with Camille Claus , and Charlotte Kitty . . . . He had the time of his life tonight . . . his favorite take : an old man gave him a baggie with a $ 10 Japanese dollar from world war II . . . . and a few old German coins . . . . . the poor old man . It made me sad . The coins were carded and carefully labeled . He sure picked the right boy to give some to . . . . . . I told Sam he probably would have had some interesting stories to tell , the old man . We took the kids to a nice neighborhood , seeing that most of our neighbors are corn fields and cows . Then , back into the van to another neighborhood . . . . . as they ate candy all the way there . . . they went to quite a few houses , then back into the van . . . . . . one more neighborhood , just a few streets , and they were giving up . Sonja had to go to the bathroom and her ankles hurt . . . . Margaret didn 't feel well . Charlotte Claire wanted to be carried . Oh , she was so funny . She enjoyed herself so much . She liked walking through the leaves , the night was so warm and mild . Just going up people 's porch steps , and seeing the Jack - o - lanterns were big deals for her . She didn 't really know what it all was , but when she said , " Trick - or - Treat " , they gave her candy ! She mostly took 16 blessings ' mom the kids just got home on the bus , and we are to begin the fun process of getting everyone dressed up . We don 't buy the costumes , we have aquired a Superman outfit for Jon from a friend of a friend . . . . . and , Charlotte Claire 's kitty costume has been around here for a while . . . oh yeah , I got it at Walmart a few years ago after halloween for 75 % off . And I made Sonja 's Fancy Nancy dress last year , when she was a princess . The kids usually just gather stuff from around the house . . . . so , I 'll try to get some pictures . . . . the fun part is , the 3 little ones dressed up for school , and will wear something tonight , and maybe something different for the Fall feast at church tomorrow . . . . . . so we will have lots of fun . . . . . . At the same time , we have to make sure the travelers to Canada have their passports , and Molly has her birthcertificate and photo I . D . , and some money , and some snacks for the trip . They will be leaving about when we are leaving for trick - or - treating . . . . just fun and chaos . . . . and I didn 't make dinner yet , so I am thinking one burger from the drive - through , and coming home and having something later . . . . . the kids might be too excited to eat very properly , anyway . I get so caught up in their excitement , I swear I have never grown up . . . . . I am trying to decide if I want to dress up too . . . . . Today , we are just blessed with beautiful weather . Sunny and warm , almost 60 degrees . I went out in the hot tub with Jonathan and Charlotte Claire while Camille napped . It was lots of fun , and I certainly didn 't take it for granted like I might have a month ago , when this weather was common . . . . . Well , time to get moving . . . . Jon and Charlotte Claire were excited to go bye - bye today . Camille is smart . She knew we were going somewhere , and when I put her down to take her picture , she was furious . . . . She looks so sweet in her little pink coat . It was like $ 2 last spring at a garage sale . . . . Kathryn is such a great helper . . . . . The new Fisher - Price remote control Dinosaur , in the plastic case , just push the button for a scary demonstration . . . . . at least one little girl thought it was scary . Jonathan just plain wanted it . For $ 129 . 99 , I don 't think so . . . . Desolate . That 's how the trees look when the wind has whipped their leaves off . . . . . Joseph , Aaron , and Molly are going to Ottowa , Canada , for the weekend . I just found out . Oh well . I am glad for them , they are part of a wonderful youth group . That leaves fewer of us for Trick - or Treating . Emily and Abigail are going along with me , with Sam , Margaret , Kathryn , Evelyn , Suzanne , Sonja , Jonathan , Charlotte Claire , and Camille . We have only been doing this for a few years now . It 's funny to be so against something for so many years , and then question why you thought it was so wrong . . . . and change your mind . I personally didn 't think it was too bad , but Paul didn 't care for it . Come to find out , he just doesn 't care for Halloween , he would rather do other things . . . . he has no problem with me taking the kids , and wishes us the best of fun , and would come if we wanted him to . But you know how it is when someone is just along because they are asked to , and don 't really want to be there ? It 's better to just leave him home , and have lots of fun without worrying about whether he wants to get going now . . . . . It 's hard to explain , but I enjoy being the pilot of the big white van sometimes , stopping for a coffee if I please , and taking all the live long day . . . . . he is not a tryrant , just someone who doesn 't like to galavant like I do . . . . but we sure do like each other . I am heading in for a nap , which I hate to do , because it is a waste of time . But on the other hand , I love naps . I have to leave the older kids here watching the younger ones , Camille is in bed , and Charlotte Claire is going in . . . . . Camille was a real fuss again last night . She was just awake for a long time . I wonder if her throat hurts or something . She has no fever , but is a little bit stuffy . She wouldn 't even nurse last night , just wanted to be held . And I wanted to sleep . . . . . I had an adventurous day . Kathryn stayed home today ( I got tired of Camille emptying out what we call the " pony drawer " , where we keep the brushes , hair elastics ( ( ponies ) ) , and barettes . . . . and some pennies , other assorted small items . So last night we put the contents of the drawer into a plastic bag . Including the hairbrushes ) . . . . so today , Kathryn could not find the hairbrush . She missed the bus . She could have gone on second trip , but begged not to . Yeah , I know , I could have sent her , but she hates going in late . . . . and she has been asking for a day off for a while . I am glad she was here . I had to go to Walmart . Camille pooped halfway through the shopping trip . I chose not to drag the kids back to the bathroom and change her , but hurry and finish , and change her in the van . Bad decision . She was so fussy . Her bottom was sore . She cried for the last 15 - 20 minutes of our trip . I feel sorry for Charlotte Claire and Jonny when stuff like that happens , because they are being so good , and I like to enjoy things more . So , I should have just changed her . But I didn 't . . . . . I got the kids each a little carton of chocolate or pink milk , and a 30cent bag of chips . So , it was fun . We came home and had some leftover soup for lunch , and put Camille to bed . Exciting , eh ? Charlotte Claire was good in the store except when I let her out at the register to sit on the bench in front with Kathryn and Jon . . . . and she took off to play with the outrageously expensive toy cell phones at a register a few down from me . ( $ 2 . 98 ! ) . . . . . I went and got her , and bucklPosted by The kids went running out , apparently snow is fun for them . . . . Jon 's feet look a little cold . Yum , fresh snow for Charlotte Claire . . . . . . . they didn 't stay out there for more than 2 minutes . . . . They did get all dressed warm this morning , and were out for 6 or 7 minutes . They just aren 't used to the cold . I did go for my walk this afternoon . It was freezing , and a cold wind was blowing . The high today was around 39 degrees . . . . . and maybe I 'm crazy , but I thought it felt very refreshing . Better cold than too hot . I made Jon a neat paper airplane tonight , it doesn 't really even fly very well , and you 'd have thought I gave him a million bucks . . . . the really likes it . I hate it when kids love things that are so temporary and breakable . . . . . I cleaned out my purse , and set aside some of my really long grocery receipts for him to play with tomorrow with his cash register . My mother - in - law called tonight , she is in Florida for the winter , and she said it was cold down there . Her heat ran all night last night . Strange weather . Paul suggested tonight that we switch Charlotte Claire and Camille around , so that Camille is in her own room . I 'm not sure I want to risk Charlotte Claire changing her excellent sleeping habits . There is something nice about a two year old that loves going to bed at night . We do cheat and put her in bed with her bottle , but it doesn 't seem to hurt anything . What do the experts know , anyway ? I would never consider myself an expert at child - raising . Because each child is different , and I find myself stumped about things I hadn 't encountered before . But some things I have learned : 1 . Never use the crib , or bedroom as a punishment place . It is a gooood , nice place . Naps are good , yummy . Going night - night is cuddly and good , NEVER use it as a threat . Mommy and Daddy have the advantage of marketing these things to be as appealing as possible . 2 . Wait until they are ready to potty - train , if you want to do it the easiest way . Don 't listen to your mother - in - law . I have trained 14 kids so far , and I choose the path16 blessings ' mom Let me start with saying I am tired . I didn 't get to go to bed early last night as planned because I remembered that Molly was not home yet . She was out celebrating a friend 's birthday , she was with a very responsible older sister of the friend , a good girl , but still . A mom cannot just go to bed when the 14 year old daughter isn 't home yet . Then Jon cried for some juice , so it was good mom was still up anyway , or he would have woken up the 3 girls . So , finally to bed . . . . . and Miss Camille had an awake spell last night . I got her out of bed SIX times ! Each time , I snuggled with her , nursed her , rocked her , and put her back in her little pink bed . I tip - toed back to my nice warm bed , got all settled in , and she would cry again . . . . sometimes right away , sometimes in 5 - 10 minutes , right when I started dozing . When I picked her up , she would whisper , " shh " , or " nigh , nigh " . . . the fifth time I tried to nurse her , she refused , and said , " ba , ba ' ' ' ' . . . . yeah , right . Finally , after time # 6 , she stayed in bed and went to sleep . Now , if she had her own room , or if Paul didn 't have to get up and go to work , I would try something different . But I don 't want to get into that now . The fact is , I am tired . And the thought crossed my mind not to get up and wake up the school kids this morning . But I did . Here is Sonja K . , all ready to go . She is in first grade . The perfect age , 6 years old . She still likes wearing tights to school . And she is happy about school . Suzanne is having her " stay home " day . Just a random day where she gets to stay home , to get some extra attention . She has gone outside 3 times this morning , looking for snow . We didn 't get very much , it didn 't stay on the ground , but we got enough on the deck and picnic table , that she has two snowballs in the freezer to show Jon when he wakes up . The thought that got me out of bed this morning : Emily 's " I have learned to do what I do not like doing " . . . . . and last night , when I couldn 't get Camille settled in , ( she was playing with my face in the dark , and just enjoying herse16 blessings ' mom Jonathan , all jammied up and ready for bed . He is a surprisingly good boy when he is sick . . . . he doesn 't just milk it , enjoying the laying around and being waited on like some of them do . . . . he actually offered to help pick up when I was going to vacuum today . And he insisted on coming to the dinner table with a fever of 102 . He didn 't eat much , but he wanted to save his plate . Then he spilled his cup of water all over his plate when he was getting down . I felt bad for him . I told him I would make him another good plate of food tomorrow , same stuff , when he was feeling better . Then , we watched " The Great Pumpkin , Charlie Brown " or whatever it 's called . . . . and the kids all got to have some ice cream , which we bought for our company who didn 't end up coming . He didn 't even eat his . So , I told him he could have some for breakfast if he wants . These two may look sweet , but don 't let them fool you . They are sitting in a hula hoop . I am having a lot of trouble with Charlotte Claire being too rough with Camille . Some of it is just strong - arming her , trying to protect her . Pulling her away from things . Pushing her down when she 's getting into stuff . But the other kind of being rough is harder to deal with , more disturbing , although probably normal . She just will go and lay on her . Or sit on her . . . . or hit her with a book . . . . . so , each time she does this , I scold her firmly , give her a little swat on the behind , lead her to a kitchen chair , and tell her that it is not nice to hit baby , or whatever she has done . And she cries for a while . She hasn 't figured out yet that she can just hop off the chair , she sits there and cries until I get her . . . . just a few minutes . And then she hugs me , and tells baby sorry . She likes being my friend , and I think she is getting it that I am upset with her when she is mean . She is the very definition of energy . But , she is also so sweet and huggy . She likes being carried around by the big kids . She seems a bit lost during the day . If I only had three kids all the time , it would be different than Posted by and with that as the title , what else can I say ? Actually , Jonathan is the only one sick , so far . Just moments after I took this picture of him , he started to throw - up . And of course I was nursing the tired and fussy Camille , who had already waited for mommy long enough . . . I had to put her down , and rush over to Jon . . . . . I need a bowl , quick , so I grabbed the wipes container , took the wipes out really quickly , and put that under his chin . It wasn 't such a bad mess , as he has only had a few drinks today . Poor boy . And poor Camille . I am so apologetic today . Charlotte Claire 's biggest concern during all this was the abandoned wipes . She was just chattering away about it . . . . ( I was a bit concerned that Jon was going to get stuff on the couch , but shh , don 't tell anyone ) . . . . anyway , Charlotte found another wipes container , and put the wipes away properly . Here she is playing with her dolly and dolllhouse . . . . She takes such tender care of her dolly . . . . makes me wonder why she hits Camille . . . . I didn 't get a chance to write anything yesterday . . . . I was pretty busy here , and when I took a few minutes to go on the computer , I checked my e - mail , and had one from M . , as she likes to be referred to on here . I had to answer her , and then it was time to go shopping . I am so glad I didn 't bring Jonathan . Molly and I just took Camille . So , it was alot easier , and more productive , and fun in a way , but not as fun as bringing along a bunch of them . I have never been one to leave the kids home to make it easier , we live a ways away from everything , and it 's nice for them to get out and about , too . And how can you go past a train , bus , tractor , or race - car without someone to point it out to ? Yes , we did some shopping . Mostly groceries . But I did pick up a few really adorable outfits for my niece , Susan . We are going to a baby shower for her on Sunday . I already got her some things for next summer , but I got her a few nice little things for now . I really like brown and light blue together . We were going to have Susan and Thomas , and the othPosted by wonderful , cozy , frightening . . . . a cold front is moving through the Northeast , bringing some rain , and a few thunder storms . One crash of thunder sounded like it was right in the front yard . . . . Charlotte Claire was sitting at the table playing " Chutes and Ladders " , and she scrambled up , across the table , and flew into Kathryn 's arms . . . . her and Jon were huddled on my lap within seconds . . . . then a few more loud ones , and it passed over . The kids were concerned that the power might go out , so I encouraged them to pick up a few things so we wouldn 't trip ( aren 't I awful ? ) . . . . . and Sam got his wind - y ( no batteries necessary ) flashlight out . . . . . but , the power didn 't go out . More colder weather is coming . Tuesday night / Wednesday morning , it will be 20 degrees in the upper atmosphere ( 5 , 000 ft . ) , and the water temperature of Lake Ontario is in the 50 's . Perfect conditions for lake effect snow . Now , we usually don 't get much snow in October , but we have . . . . . it could happen . Or , it could just be rainy with a few flurries mixed in . . . . . . there are areas just miles from here that really get pounded with snow , like Oswego . It 's right on the southeast corner of Lake Ontario , and the wind goes across the lake , and wham . . . . also , the areas directly east of the lake get hammered with snow . We are south - east of the lake , south of Oswego , but we get out fair share . . . . the thing is , Abigail commutes to college in Oswego . Even when they grow up , they are still mommy 's kiddies . . . . I am going grocery shopping with Molly tomorrow . She cut the coupons today , and is going to try to save us some money . Mariel will be proud of her . Speaking of Mariel , I miss her SO much . She is our healthy eating conscience . One of our first dinners we had when she was gone , we had corn for a vegetable , in addition to mashed potatoes ! She would not have allowed that . . . . two starches . . . two many carbs . . . . . her commitment to a healthy lifestyle has not totally changed us all , but it has rubbed off in a postive way . Molly and Margaret go running almost daily now . And AaronPosted by taking a bath . Good thing it 's the spare carseat , that Charlotte Claire uses for her dollies . . . . . I ran into a woman today , who was lamenting that there are halloween costumes and patterns for dogs , but not for cats . . . . . and I thought I was crazy . . . . As I get older , I notice my tolerance for noise decreases . . . . especially non - essential noise . Banging the spoon handles on the table , singing to the mp3 players , slamming , banging , arguing . Help ! I can 't get sick of this game , I am in the middle of it ! Has it gotten louder in here ? Hey , maybe that 's why older people develop trouble hearing , maybe it 's just mercy . . . . . a little gift . . . . My niece 's husband , his brother , and two friends just stopped in to pick up Joseph . . . . they are going off on a late night adventure to Applebees or Denny 's . Well , this house was so neat and clean this morning . Vacuumed , swept , toys put away . . . . then I was gone for a while , and life happened . . . . there are clothes , hair ponies , barrettes , socks , toys . . . . . just scattered . . . . . a 15 minute clean - up , and it would be fine . . . . but did they give us 15 minutes notice ? And that is just as well , because I am tired . . . . . . . I do not feel like cleaning up tonight . Wait , do I ever feel like cleaning up ? My daughter Emily , the nurse , said something the other day that has stuck with me . . . . she said , " " " I have gotten very good at doing what I do not like . . . . " Isn 't that one of the hallmarks of being an adult ? You don 't have to love it , just do it . All the whining I do about the weather is going to just get worse , I tell you . Having several children on a nice warm day cannot even compare to what it 's like to have several children on a freezing , rainy or snowy day . Because they are IN THE HOUSE . And , this house has no play room . . . . just the cozy little living room . Which connects to the kitchen via two doorways , making it a perfect set - up for the chase each other around the cirlce game . . . . which gets old for me very fast . . . . . last year , I bought a $ 19 mini - trampoline , which took the edge off their energy levels - they used alPosted by Suzanne , Kathryn , and Jonathan . . . . . . we went to Chinese for lunch . . . . the kids didn 't have school , so I took eleven of them out and about . . . . ( Em was at work , Ab was at college , Ben went to work , Mariel is still far away in Canada , and Joseph stayed home in the nice quiet house and played his guitar . . . . hmm , he 's smart ) Charlotte Claire likes her ice cream . . . . Camille sat here for over an hour , and was happy . . . . . those sugar fried donuts make anyone happy , I guess . . . . They sure can get our money 's worth . . . . We went to the Rescue Mission store after here , and found a few good things . Aaron and Molly came over to me with these giant trench coats and big black boots , saying , " Please , please . . . " Take them off . . . . . I found some things in the 50cent bin . . . I made a quick stop in the Game Stop for Sam 's birthday present . . . . his birthday was August 2 , and I finally got his game . . . . Then , on to the : grocery store ! The kids were thrilled ! ! ! not . So , after a massive bathroom break , we started shopping - and nice mom that I am , I let them stop in the bulk foods sections , and each get a bag and pick out some candy . Aaron is 15 , and Molly 14 , and Sam is 13 , so they are old enough to supervise . . . . I got half way through the store before they were finished . Which is good , because the train of us all going up and down the aisles is quite slow . I mean , if one or two kids walk down the middle of the aisle and get in someones way , oh well . . . . but when 5 or six are meandering around . . . . . I try to make them stay in a row . . . . We never ended getting our pumpkins . . . we will have to go tomorrow or something . . . . Jon was very disapointed , but it was dusk when we passed the pumpkin place . . . . Groceries are expensive . I just buy the cheap stuff , and we have our economy meal , spaghetti , once a week . I buy alot of chicken because it is cheap . And chicken simmered in cream of celery or cream of chicken soup is very good over rice or potatoes . . . . I am hoping the turkeys are cheap again around thanksgiving so I can put 4 or 5 in the freezer . I try to stock up oPosted by frost on the back yard . . . and frost on our screen door . . . . frost on the chair Joseph put in the tree in the front yard . . . . frost on my nice Inglesina Zippy left out in the front yard overnight - oops ! ! ! Camille can ride a bike . . . . Look mom , no hands ! Needless to say , it is chilly here . Today is forecasted to be clear and sunny , and not too chilly . The kids want to go pumpkin picking . We need some groceries . Can I combine the two things ? Bring 10 or 12 kids to the grocery store ? Then to the pumpkin patch ? hmmmm . . . . . . and I want to get more apples . Other direction . . . . . this apple place I have gone to sells large paper grocery bags full of apples , all varieties , for $ 5 a bag . We have gone through 4 bags so far . We are getting spoiled . And now they are almost gone . . . . Whatever we end up doing today , I am praying that I can be patient . And hear what God is saying to me . Then it will go well . Does this look like a child capable of dialing " 911 " ? Of all the mathematical combinations possible for an 11 month old child to dial , what are the chances that she would call " 911 " ? And since I happen to know the protocal when a nine - one - one call is recieved , I knew the police were on the way . The man from the county call center called here to ask if we had an emergency , since they had gotten the call from here . . . . . I had just taken the phone away from Camille the amazing active baby . I had heard her pressing buttons . I assured him that we were okay , it must have been the baby who was just playing with the phone . . . . when I was talking to him , I know I sounded like I had done something wrong , because I was a bit shaken up . They take each call pretty seriously . . . . . My daughter Kathryn called 911 a few years back , Margaret told her to when they were playing . . . . ha , , ha , , . . . . the police sent someone out . A cop . Knocking at the door . At that moment , whoever was the toddler had just taken off all his clothes and dragged a chair over to the kitchen sink . . . . then came the knock . . . I told the officer that my 8 year old daughter had done it . . . . he asked to talk to her , and she was so upset and scared . . . . he told her it wasn 't funny at all . And he mentioned that their policy was to send the police out to check things out whenever they get that 911 call . . . . . so , today I knew they were coming . And I started feeling like I had something to hide . Like they were going to search the house or something . Can they arrest you for a messy laundry room ? Anyway , this time I was prepared . . . . . . I put my hair up neatly , and changed out of my ridiculously short around the house skirt , brushed my teeth , changed Camille out of the half ' snapped sleeper she was crawling around in , and got it picked up and vacuumed in here . . . . and no one showed up . So , we decided to go out in the sunshine for a little walk . . . . . Sunny , but quite chilly . . . . . . . There is not much traffic on our road . . . . but as we were walking along , I heard a car , and alerted Jon that we were goPosted by Story # 1 . Taking Jonathan and Sonja to the doctor for a rash they have had . This trip also included Kathryn Grace who was looking for a day off , and heard we were taking a trip out and about . . . . . the dr . office is in a building with those nice big blue buttons that open the doors . Irresistable to children . Worth fighting about , to them . Even worth waiting until the doors close so they can have a turn . Then out to the rainy cold parking lot to the big messy van . . . . Story # 2 . Somehow when I told the kids about their upcoming dr . visit , I said maybe we can go to McDonalds afterward . I don 't know why I said that , it just came out . So of course I had to take them there . Hotwheels cars and mini - Barbie dolls . . . . . so , I sprung for 3 happy meals . But I didn 't use my credit card , I made an extra stop at the bank . How virtuous I am . ha . Charlotte Claire pooped at the Playplace . . . . . so I had to trust Kathryn , 10 , with Camille while I changed her diaper . Then , I really had to pee . Maybe just seeing the toilet , but I had to go so badly . I left Charlotte Claire , still in her stocking feet , sitting on the change table while I went quick . I couldn 't stand the thought of her stocking feet on the bathroom floor , and I couldn 't send her out with Kathryn who already had Camille . So I took aa chance that she would sit there like a good girl , and she did . Whew . If you 've ever taken a group of small children to Mcdonalds Playplace , you know how much fun it is to tell them it 's time to leave now . . . . and then to actually gather them , shoe and coat them , and herd them out to the van . . . . put away the kids , buckle them in , again , and put the stroller away . . . . . in the rain . Story # 3 . WalMart ! ! ! Prescriptions to fill . 30 minutes ? How could it take 30 minutes ? Okay , we 'll go look at the fish . And yes , we will look at the toys , but we are not buying any . Just so you know . We were halfway through the toys , and Camille decided to poop . So we headed back to the back of the store bathroom , and Kathryn stayed outside the bathroom door with Charlotte ClaiPosted by October has always been a strange month for me . 14 years ago my mother had her first heart attack in October . I 'll never forget the phone call from my brother one early morning . . . . of course when your brother calls you early in the morning , you know it 's something bad . I remember driving home from visiting her in the hospital , and seeing all the Halloween decorations , particularly the fake grave stones , and skeletons . When the death of someone you love looms as a very real possibility , these things are just stomach - turning . I don 't mind the trick - or - treat and dressing up aspect of Halloween , but no thank you to the gore . . . . . . We didn 't celebrate trick or treating with the kids for several years . We have a wonderful Fall Feast each year at church . But somewhere along the line , we realized there was nothing wrong with the kids dressing up and going out for candy . I had assumed for years that it was wrong to ask people for candy . But now I see that most people , people who have their lights on and decorations up , WANT to give kids candy . I know my parents absolutely loved a chance to blesss the children , and they were blessed in return . They were the " good " house , that gave lots of good candy to each child , and my mom always talked to the kids and got a good kick out of their costumes . So , when we started taking the kids trick - or treating , we of course took them down to the nice suburban neighborhood my parents lived in . We live on a rural road , with houses far apart . . . . I have been known to dress a little silly too , just to see the look on my Dad 's face . One year , I dressed as a clown . My face looked so funny , I surprised myself when I looked in the mirror . That year , we stopped at Little Cesaers for some $ 5 pizzas . . . . I pulled up to the curb to let a few of the older kids go in and pick it up . A cop ( excuse me , a police officer ) walked up to the van and asked me what I thought I was doing . Just getting pizza , is that okay with you ? I don 't know what posessed me to answer so rudely . . . . . then I glanced in my rearwiew mirrPosted by Here is Margaret 's homemade chocolate / vanilla marble bundt cake , and one of the apple pies we made today . . . . . Margaret got to stay home from school today . She got out the cookbook , and wanted to try something new . I was already peeling apples for the pies , and had to peel squash , and potatoes , and clean , and take care of the kids . . . . and she wanted to bake something additional ! So , I let her . She did just fine . And , it tasted delicious . Sometimes you just have to give in . Her and I tend to butt heads a bit , but we had a good day together . Here are Sam and Joe relaxing after our guests left . . . . . Emily , doing a bit of homework . . . . Here is Charlotte Claire with Martin , a friend of ours , and my niece 's husband 's brother . . . . Here is my niece 's husband , Thomas , with Evelyn and Suzanne . . . . . can you tell he came from a family of 13 ? Susan is having a baby in December , my sister 's second grandchild . . . . this baby is being fought over already , among the aunties , and the great - aunt . . . . and the gramma . . . . Marius , a friend , holds Camille , who isn 't too sure about him . . . . Well , just in our family there were 15 for dinner tonight , as Ben and Emily had classes . , and Mariel is still in Canada . . . then we had 4 guests , so we had to bring in the Little Tikes table for a few of the little ones . It was noisy . The kids were so excited to have company , they were bouncing off the walls . They stayed up extra late , and will no doubt be hard to drag out of bed in the morning , but it was so worth it ! ! ! This is Sonja K . I don 't know why we call her Sonja K . , but we do . Her middle name is Kathleen , so that is probably partly why . . . . anyway , she is funny . She somehow got in on my walk this afternoon . I am so000 stupid . I told her she could come along , but she had to walk fast , and not say she was tired , because I needed to go all the way down the road . . . . okay , she said . And she meant it . I am totally out - energized by this six year old . She scooted right along . As we went up the big hill , which I usually struggle with by the time I get to the top , measuring my progress by how many gasping breaths I have to take . . . she asked me if I was tired , because she wasn 't . . . . and she chatted all the way up that hill . She outpaced me all the way , then when we got close to the house , we could hear the kids out on the trampoline , and she wanted to run back the rest of the way . . . I was like , " You can run ? " . . . . . . stupid me . . . . . . Camille Anaya is getting so big . . . . she will be one year old on November 7th . . . . Aah , the t . v . remote ! She loves to walk around the furniture . . . . Charlotte Claire did not want to wear these tights to church today . . . . but daddy put them on her anyway . . . . Camille was alarmed at her crying . . . . Yum , this Easter cottage that I bought for 90 % off after Easter , and they finally talked me into letting them make , is good stuff . . . . Margaret , Kathryn , and Evelyn . . . . They had a good time decorating it , and eating the decorations . . . . Here she is , ready to go . . . . Another busy day . . . . Margaret and Kathryn helped me put away a few boxes of sandals , and sort through the shoes that are outgrown . Then we sorted through the sweaters and jackets . There are 10 hooks , so I gave one to 9 of the younger ones . Paul and I can keep ours in our room , and Camilles ' , too . . . . . as can the older ones . I left one hook for random jackets , like if you pick one up and don 't know who 's it is . . . I often think that life would be easier if we had a mud room , but there 's not much sense wishing . . . . . We also took care of the big pile of clothes on the couch . It is clPosted by I am a stay at home mom with 16 kids , no twins , Army mom , wife to Paul ( still crazy about him ! ! ! ) . . . 8 kids are still at home . . . . the kids : Emily 31 , Abigail 30 , Benjamin 28 ( his wife Ashley and our granddaughter Anya 3 ) , Mariel 26 , Joseph 25 , Aaron 24 , MollyRose 22 ( and granddaughter Lydia , 1 ) , Samuel 21 , Margaret 20 ( and son - in - law Adrian ! ) , Kathryn 18 , Evelyn 17 , Suzanne 15 , Sonja 14 , Jonathan 12 , Charlotte Claire 10 , and Camille 9 . Help for life can be found at www . activechristianity . com , which is a great source of encouragement for me . View my complete profile |
I sometimes walk around the shop , and just think , that if ole Leroy could just see me now , he wouldn 't believe all the things , and good fortune , that have come my way . I came to Belize with two girls , running from drug dealers in their small Mexican fishing village . It helped that one of them was smart enough to steal the dealers ' money on the way out of the village . I had brought my boat , the Queen Isabel , a large catamaran combination salvage and tow - boat , and two 28 ' catamarans . One I had loaded on the deck , and one was in tow . I had turned over , to the employees , the marine company that Leroy had left to me . I was fortunate , in having the insurance money left by my mother , and the inheritance of everything Leroy had , along with his insurance money . I am certain that I could have made it without the money Leta had taken from the drug dealers , but hey , it spent just as well as hard earned money , and there was plenty of it . When we got here , we bought into , and later bought outright , a Diving School and guide service . I had tried to make a go of building 28 ' catamarans , and had sold about a dozen , and built another two dozen for our use . We also had a marine engine sales and service , and a bakery , along with a freight forwarding company , located in Belize City . We live and operate the dive shop on Key Caulker . About 90 % of our employees are women . In the beginning we had not planned it that way , it just happened . When we saw that much of our success was directly caused by the girls , we continued to replace male members with females , as they left for whatever reason . I just seem to be able to get along with them , and , as I tell everyone , beautiful women , bikinis and palm trees , ain 't no better deal anywhere . I have five girlfriends , yeah , I know , you think I must be one hell of a man , or hell for lucky . It 's not either , I just do what they tell me and most of the time keep my mouth shut . They like each other , they get along , and they don 't cause me any problems . We have two of the cats set up for treasure hunting , complete with metal detecting equipment , and dredges . We have been extremely successful in finding Mayan relics and Pirate gold . We have a contract with Belize , where we keep 60 % of the appraised value of all gold and coins , and turn over any relics without compensation . Linda is a pretty cool girl . She was a year behind me in school , and while we were in school , I always thought she was a whine - bag . Her older sister , Anita , is almost five years older than me , but oddly enough she was my best friend . Not to mention that I had always been in love with her . Both the girls are beautiful , to the extreme , They are Mexican American , and I guess now you can add Belize . If there were ever better looking women , I have not seen them . When we got to the city , Linda went to the motor shop , and I went in the bakery to get a snack . I walked over to the motor shop to wait on Linda . She was visiting , with all the girls , so I set down and started watching TV . There is a tropical storm , heading toward Costa Rica and Nicaragua . I 'll bet we get a downpour from it . Diving in the rain is no big deal but when the water gets rough , it 's hard to keep the boats in position over the divers . If it gets too bad , we 'll be refunding some money and re - scheduling some trips . I better find out where Anita and Clawdy are when we get back . On the way back to Caulker the weather was bright and sunny , but when we got there , Leta was watching the TV in the dive shop . The storm had turned away from Nicaragua and was now heading toward us . All the boats along the cost had started moving our direction to get out of the path of the storm , and now it was chasing them . Andy said , " We are going to get some boats beat up , but there is nothing we can do to stop most of it . Just tie them up good . Damn we better strip the canvas tops off of them or they will be gone . " " Take all of them to the island , and bring four of them back . Make sure you don 't leave anybody . I 'll move my boat in as close to the building as I can . Anita is on the way and we need to get her boat next to mine . Put all the fenders on the side she will be against . " People had started moving boats to the west side of the island , and tying to anything they could find . I had Buddy and Russ keep a watch , and make sure they didn 't take up the space we would need for our boats . By the time the crews got back from the island , Anita had made it in . We got as many ropes on the boats as possible . A few of the divers were trying to call home . The two couples with Anita , seemed to be having a good time , and not worried about the storm . They wanted to know all about the business and talked to the divers and girls . Most everyone was in the dining room , and Mercedes , and her crew , along with some of our girls , were making , wrapping , and placing sandwiches in an empty ice chest . I couldn 't think of anything else to do that would help . We only had windows on the front , or the dock side of the buildings , and they were not that large . We did put a grid of masking tape on them . Ireni and Joci were getting ready to sing and the wind was picking up a bit . They let me sing a song that they thought was funny . " If I Had A Boat , I 'd Go Out On The Ocean . About the time I got to Ole Tonto , He Was Smarter , And One Day Said Kemo Sabe , Kiss My Ass , I Bought A Boat , And I 'm Heading Out To Sea . " We got two gas lanterns lit , and I noticed we had quite a few locals , and the place was packed . I asked Ireni " What was going on ? " and she said , " This is one of the few concrete block buildings on the island . " Lila and Cristi went upstairs and came back with a battery radio . The storm had caught up with the boats trying to get inside the reef , and was approaching category 2 hurricane level . I had no idea what that was and someone said that " A category 1 had winds of over 75 miles an hour , and a 3 started around 110 , so it was in there somewhere . " " I hope the big cats don 't get torn up , the little ones we can replace . " One of the ladies that was with Anita , was telling the kids stories , and they didn 't seem to be as upset as they had been . They sure are nice people . I would like to look out the door , but I guess so would a lot of others , " Damn , I 'm getting tired of setting here . You can hear things hitting the building , and I keep wondering about the boats . I bet that Heidi , and the girls in the city , will be mopping water before this is over . " Lupito told me he had seen the river raise up by several feet during storms . Damn , you can have some crazy thoughts at times like this . I remember a Disc Jockey I heard once on a Blues radio station giving a weather report . He had a guitar and would play blues riffs , while he was talking , and then sing , like , " Da da da da dum It 's 8 o clock in the monin , da da da da dum it 's 74 degrees , da da da da dum ain 't much wind blowin ' just - a - gentle - breeze . " Man I need to get my head straight . Clawdy seems a little worse than I am , I better talk to her a bit . It was a school song , of some kind , and we all tried to sing it with her . We had no idea what she was singing , but we tried to make the same sounds . It was a long night , and I kept thinking I would be glad to see morning come , until it did . Well , I 've seen worse , but it was on TV and they were still dropping bombs on it . The other side of the island must be clean , because everything from over there , is over here . " OK folks , it 's over , and it 's daytime . If your home is damaged to the point where you can 't stay in it , come back here and we will figure something out . " Then we found out that they couldn 't go , because the airport had severe damage . " Well you divers can set around here , or you can go help us dig out of this . " . All of them wanted to help . " OK , let 's split up in two or three teams , and check every house on the island , to see if they are OK , if you can help them with their homes , that would help . Instructors and assistants let 's go get the boats . " We had one dive boat torn up , something had hit the control console so hard it bent the steering wheel into the panel . The Treasure Island mangroves were still with us . A few boats were loose , some with branches still tied to the rope . Most had a few scrapes but nothing major . The pirate boat was floating half submerged Dani drug it onto the sandbar . A few days work , and this place will be in good shape . When we got back to the dock , we had visitors from the government , asking if we could take the big cat 's out to search for people . They assigned us an area and we fueled up . The woman that had been telling stories to the kids was a nurse and her husband a doctor named Morrison . They asked if we had any medical supplies and I told them just the big first aid packs in each boat . We were moving within 15 minutes , Anita would start on the east side of our area , and I would start on the west . The first boat we found was a 24 ' day cruiser , with nobody aboard . Dani climbed onto it and fastened a line . We found 3 more boats with the last being a 36 ' sailboat , with four people onboard . We tied a line on their boat and brought them aboard . We met up with Anita , and they had two people . They had found several empty boats . We headed to Caulker and unloaded then left to pick up the other boats . In a week we had rounded up a bunch of boats and several more people . The Coast Guard had been dumping the boats they drug up in our impound . The search was called off , as the spotter planes could find nothing else floating . The Belize equivalent of the Coast Guard , told us to hold the boats until they identified the proper owners and contacted them . I asked about some boats that were sunk and he called his boss to find out . They wanted me to video the salvage of each boat , about 5 minutes per boat , showing the name or markings on each . We had to keep track of which ones were in the normal boat traffic areas and we would be paid some amount , which he did not know , for clearing them . All the diving companies had suspended operations because things came to a halt when the airport shut down . At least the divers could not fly in and get mad at us . We spent a lot of time running people back and forth to Belize City . Other than a lot of trash on the dock and parking lot , our buildings there were not hurt . The reason there was so much damage on Caulker was because most of the houses were made of wood and tin , and not built to any code . We bought all the corrugated metal sheets we could find , along with lots of building materials and paint , hauled it to Caulker , then sold it for the invoice price . The people worked hard at cleaning and repairing the buildings because their economy is based on tourism , If they don 't keep it looking neat , people will not stay and spend money with them . There was still a lot of junk floating around looking for a place to land . The airport re - opened and things got back to normal . The open land to the south of us is a bit swampy but cheap . I had talked to a lady named Sara , at Caye Caulker Real Estate , about buying a chunk of it . The price of the land was good but doing something with it was going to be expensive . From the water to land dry enough to stand on was about 40 yards and it was covered in bushes and mangroves . I 'll get the dock guy with the dredge and piling boat to take a look at it . We had boats tied to the bushes for a hundred yards . The water was pretty calm on this side of the island and they were not beating on each other , but I will be glad when the Coast Guard finds the owners . I got Bethan , Rubi , Dani , and Lena to start clearing the boat traffic lanes . There was only 8 to 10 that looked worth the trouble . Some of these boats were docked at Belize City before the storm and how the hell they got out here was a mystery . One guy wanted his boat raised and was acting a bit too nervous about it so the Coast Guard just happened to show up as we raised it . Once it was up and the water pumped out they went aboard and had a look . I thought he probably had drugs but it turned out to be artifacts he had stolen from one of the ruin sites . They told us to haul his boat to the impound , and they would haul him to jail . The Coast Guard brought several people out to identify their boats . I was ready to hand them over but the Coast Guard wouldn 't allow it . We started getting salvage payments from insurance companies and called the Coast Guard . He said as soon as we were paid I could release the boat . They did it to keep anyone from coming back to them for salvage payment or claims of damage done by the salvage company which turned out to be us . After 60 days any boats left would be ours . They had contacted every owner they could , and some of the owners did not respond , because they didn 't want to pay the salvage fee . It was fine with me . Hell , they had pulled in half of them and we didn 't have anything in them . Law is Law , and while most of the time it works against you , sometimes it 's a gold mine . When the 60 days were up we still had 30 boats . We had one taxi boat that was brought in by the Coast Guard and when the taxi company found out who had brought it in they said to keep it and they would buy one of our boats to replace it . None of the boats that were sunk were claimed because of the Coast Guard salvage fees . In some cases the owner would rather have the insurance money than the boat . Leta got a big check , from our insurance company , for damages to our boats , and to repaint one side of our building . She had taken lots of pictures of the damage and told them we were going to go ahead with repairs because we needed them for business . The boat that took a hit on the console was completely torn down , painted and put together using the parts from it and some new stuff . We had torn up one top in our hurry to get them off , and the insurance paid for it without asking how it got damaged . So we went ahead and put new motors and top on it and it was a new boat . After the 60 days , we took pictures of the 30 boats we still had , along with identification numbers , and went to see the " Coasties . " The officer I talked to , took the pictures and list , to a woman , and told her to give me salvage titles to all of them . When she finished I asked what I owed her and she said " Nothing . " I walked out of there as the owner of 30 boats and some of them were real nice expensive boats . I stopped by to see the dock man , and told him what I was thinking of doing with the property next to the shop . He and his ass - hole foreman would be out to look it over . I took all the boat titles to Leta , and then talked to the shop crew . I got them started on looking each boat over and deciding the when and how . Some of the upholstery was stripped out and laid on the decks to dry and be used for patterns . Linda kept looking at a 38 foot cabin cruiser . Linda assigned Buddy and Russ the 6 small boats , and told them to handle them like those we bought . " Power wash , sand , patch , and paint . Two of the motors were so old they needed to be junked . I 'll haul the outboards to Jennifer , and get them checked out and tuned up . She probably won 't be happy when I haul the 6 boats to her but she will have a better chance to sell them than we will . " Herb and his foreman came , and we looked the property over . I told him , I thought it would be best to just pull up the brush and then dredge the waterfront and use the sand to fill in the land . " We took a piece of conduit , and a boat , to check the depth of the water . You could walk out at least 75 yards before you got your face wet . He told me that the reason it was not that way in front of my buildings , is because it was dredged years ago when it was a warehouse . He had seen the boatyards down the coast at Puerto Barrios in Guatemala , and understood what I was talking about on the motorized lifts that would transport the boats to a cradle . They ran out on what looked like two docks and you parked the boat between the docks , ran straps under it and lifted it out of the water . I also wanted a launch ramp , with a rock surface extending into the water . I wanted to build a trailer , of sorts , that would allow a catamaran to be pulled out of the water to wash and paint the hulls . I would need some type of tow motor to pull it with . I could see the dollar signs spinning around in his eyes like the wheels in a slot machine . It was agreed that I would find out the width of the lift and he would start figuring out how much fill we would have to move to make the land usable . I told him I was waiting on the figure before I made an offer on the property and his price would determine if it could be done or not and if he wanted the work he needed to keep it in mind . I took a cart to talk to Sara , about the property I wanted . I wound up paying $ 130K , for a swamp with half a dozen shacks on it . She told me that the people living in the shacks were doing so without permission . I stopped at the shacks on the way back to the shop and told the people that they would need to move before the construction started . One old guy told me he had lived there for 20 years . I hated to do it to them but I needed the property cleared . I just told them that they would probably start working in a week and left . Ireni got us permission to park our salvage boats to the north of us while the work was being done . The guy came back with a price of $ 215K . It seemed high , until you priced good vacant property on Caulker . We were going to have some good land when it was finished , and I just liked the idea of turning a swamp into solid ground . I got a firm 90 day completion date , and turned him loose . They started out by pulling and dragging out all the brush . Then they drove concrete pilings in a straight line that would be our waterfront when they were through . They brought all the equipment they could round up for this job and some of it was old stuff . They had two barges to haul the mud and after they had enough dirt behind the retaining wall to make a ramp they could unload them with bobcats . The worked slowed as the bobcats had to carry the material farther inland . It was a slow process but it was getting done . Since they had no equipment to pack the soil they would spread a layer of mud and sand about a foot thick and then flood it with pumps . When they hit areas of clean sand with the dredge they piled it on the other side of the lot next to the road and would use it for the top layer . They were about half way finished in a month and they had enough sand piled up by the road to cover the lot several times over . When I asked about it he told me that whatever we didn 't use on the lot would wind up in the pot holes in the streets . You do have to run a zig zag line down the streets after it rains so it looked like a great idea to me . I guess you don 't waste clean sand , they saved all they hit . I got tired of watching and went to harass Leta . Lupito told me where to buy one , and I got it and two big scoop shovels , and paid to have it delivered to the Freight Service , and then caught a ride with the driver . Jimmy was gone , but Brende helped me load it on the boat . I got a fried pie and a coke , and headed back to Caulker . Russ and Buddy unloaded it , and started putting it together . I told them to air up the tires to the max . I filled the tank on a golf cart , hooked up the trailer , and headed to the high school . I told the lady I needed two people to work for me , for a week or two , and what they would be doing . They always knew who needed the money and they would arrange the students ' schedule , where they could work . I got a girl and a boy and told them what I wanted done . " No problem , we can do it , yes sir . " I checked them both out on driving the golf cart , showed them the pile of sand , told them to turn in their hours to Leta and left it with them . In 3 weeks they had every street on Caulker smooth as glass . I got Leta to help me find a leveler to pull behind a ATV , and got it ordered , then ordered a Honda four wheeler to pull it with . I 'm tired of dodging the mud holes . The next time I went to the city , I stopped by the garden store , and bought rakes , shovels , hoes , and limb trimmers . I got 24 pairs of brown cotton gloves and all 8 of the trash cans they had . Next stop was the hardware store . I bought all the mixed wrong paint they had , and 4 gallons of 7 different colors . Thinner , brushes , rollers , pans , scrapers , tape , and plastic drop cloths . I had Leta call the island counsel and asked for a meeting . I told them we still had trash on the beaches from the storm and the community property had not been painted in years . We cannot afford to let people leave this island and bad mouth it to their friends . They started with the " We don 't have money " song , so I told them that L Teem was furnishing the paint and tools to get it cleaned up . We would also hire all the high school kids for a period of two weeks . " Now what 's your excuse ? If you run into a problem that a little bit of money will fix come see us " " No , we will need it to maintain the boatyard . I need you to find out who the girl that shoveled the sand is . I want to offer her the job of taking care of the boatyard . She uses a shovel like she was born with it . If any of the streets get real bad she can use the leveler to fill them in and I 'm sure there will be plenty of sand left . " The high school turned out ready to get the job done and a lot of the local people helped . Their lives depended on tourism , and all of them knew it , but some of the bastards were just too lazy to help . The entire business district got raked , shoveled , hoed , picked up and painted . We hauled all the trash to south end of the boatyard lot , and burned it , then shoveled the ashes into the swamp . The girl I wanted to hire was there helping so I had her go talk to Leta . Her name is Rae and she will start work for us when the big clean - up is over . Well he got it done before the lift came . The lift is a great big heavy sucker , and damned near killed all of us . You are supposed to have a crane , to assemble it with , and there is no way to get a crane on the island . The lift is the biggest thing here . I asked all the old timers how they would lift it and hired some friends of Lupito . We had 10 people , ropes , pulleys , come a longs , gin poles , and the four wheeler hooked to it , and I still don 't know what kept us from all getting killed . It is up , and it does work but if it breaks it will just set there . I ain 't messin ' with it again . We had to buy a plate compactor , and Rae has the approach to the docks smooth and she poured dry cement all over the place and swept it into the sand and gravel . We wet it down with a water hose , and it made the big lift happy to have a solid surface . We got all our salvage boats moved to our new dock , and we were selling the ones that needed the least work . The storm was good to us , but it hurt a lot of people financially . I 'm back to being bored again . I don 't know why I can 't find a fun project to work . Uh oh here comes Rae , and it looks like she wants me to work . " I think it will work , for filling holes in the streets , but it just follows the contour of what you have . If the wheels go up so does the blade . If you start with a hilly lot you just get a smooth hilly lot . " We got it made , and chained to the back of the four wheeler . The finish on the boatyard was done by dragging the bucket on the bobcats backward and it was a bit uneven . She tried different speeds and then wired some concrete blocks on the top layer , but it did work . We named it the Dirt Devil , and she ran it over the lot back , forth , and diagonally until it was smooth . This girl don 't quit until it 's right . I think she could do a lot of things and I 'm going to see that she gets the opportunity . I got the building contractor to build us a carport with 3 sides for our boat lift and that sort of finished the boatyard . I still need to build some cradles to set the boats on . I 'm going to find a gas powered welder made onto a wagon , and then hire someone to build them . Lupito came up with a guy to do the welding , and I made four trips to the city hauling steel for the cradles . He was a good fabricator but Lupito said I needed to keep an eye on him or things would disappear . I did catch him doing some welding for cash with our welder and materials . I just let him finish the job and I collected the money . I explained to him that if someone needed a small job done , to do it and give the money to Leta . That seemed to end the problem but I told Rae to help me watch him . We lifted the boats that needed total rebuilds , and thorough hull work , onto the cradles , and had to re - arrange a lot of things to get the boats close enough to the building to work on . I need to buy a one - ton hoist and " A " frame to lift out engines the big lift won 't work , because it is too fast for delicate work . I 'm sure the guy who built our dock cranes can build us one . Maybe he will have some idea of what kind of wheels to put on it to cross the loose sand areas of the lot . The Morrison 's and two other couples did get Caye Chapel , and we did get their freight business , but , they got Anita and Clawdy . When I found out I was pissed beyond anything that had ever happened to me and I let them know what I thought of them stealing employees . I never said a word to Anita or Clawdy , but I let the new owners know that if they came after one more of our employees they would not like the end results . And then , they tried to buy Anita 's boat from me . I told them no , that I had already planned to burn it . " Levy , since you are never going to figure it out , I 'll just say , that Anita has to be the one in charge , or she will never be happy . You and Leta run this company , and Anita knows that Leta is not scooting over for anyone , and in this case , that is a good thing . She is fair , plays no favorites and she can run the whole damned place if she needs to . Now help me set the aft roof panel on my project boat . " The aft roof panel set about two feet higher than the cabin roof , and Linda explained that the cabin roof was too low to install a radar unit on without raising it up on some type of mount , and the cabin roof design did not have a solid core to bolt to . The aft roof would have a mount bolted to the top . That way , when you walked around on the front deck the radar beam would not hit you and turn you into a crispy critter . She said it was odd that it never had radar since the fuel tanks were just short of holding enough fuel to go to the moon and back . Makes you wonder what the original owner had in mind to do with it . She was building a long distance cruiser out of it and had already rebuilt the engine and transmission . I could see a lot of woodwork that told me what Marko had been doing . " Yeah you 're probably right , but let me ask you this , when they figure out that they can 't get enough " High Rollers " to play golf on their island , to make any money , and maybe decide they need a few Dive Instructors , where do you think they will try to get them ? How many tours have you got booked ? Somebody is going to have to take those , because Anita doesn 't have a boat . Who do you think can handle it ? " When Rubi and Dani came in I asked them if they wanted to work the tour boat , and they didn 't like the idea at all . Dani said that , " Since the storm had moved a lot of sand , that they were checking the sandbars again . " They , along with Kate , had been the main workers fixing up Treasure Island after the storm , and they had to pull a lot of dead flowers out of the mangroves and replant all the boxes . They had found an old chain and anchor , and Marko built them a treasure chest to put with the pirate boat . They had wrapped pennies in gold foil for the chest . The island looked better than it ever had , and they still wanted to lease it from us . The dive boats came in , and Leta asked all the instructors . When she came and told me that Lena and Raine wanted the tour boat , I thought she was bullshitting me . I didn 't really like the idea , but I sure couldn 't say that they were not capable . They could both handle a boat , read maps , compass , and a GPS . They were both Dive Instructors , both cheerful and pretty , so there was no reason to object . I would need to check them out on the boat and let both of them shoot the pistols and hope they could hit something with them . I hope , for the customers ' sake , that one of them can cook a little bit . Raine said she could cook but I think I 'll get Mercedes to go over some menus and have her cook them . The California girls , Wendy and Robin , knew a girl with an instructors rating . She was teaching surfing at an all - girl surf school in Nicaragua . I never heard of such thing , but then what the hell do I know ? I told Leta that , to be fair , we needed to offer the assistant 's job to Rae , before we went looking . Leta went and asked her , and came back with a grin on her face . Rae didn 't want to work on the dive boats , but wanted to know if she could wear a bikini anyway , since all the other girls did . Leta told her it would be fine , but I would have to judge whether she passed inspection or not . Rae told her " It would be fine with her if I wanted to check her over . " I was thinking that Leta didn 't need to be so helpful . The girl from Nicaragua , turned out to be from California , and she could give Lila a run for her money , on jokes and bullshit . Her name is Susan , or " Suzie Q " , and she said she had been deprived of a social life , at the all - girl school in Nicaragua , and liked the idea of having all the male students to talk to . Leta took her to the city , to set up her checking account , and came back with Brende with them . She took off to talk to Ireni , and Jocie and Leta told me that she was going to dive school and would be Suzi Q 's assistant . Oh shit my head already hurts . I went and got Brende and Suzi , and set them both down , and explained that I did not want Brende messing around with any of the guys , because of her age . I told Brende , that if she did , she was going back to the bakery and that if Suzi let her , that she would not be very high on my list either . Suzi told Brende that she better remember what I said , because she was not going to lose her job over it . I told Brende , that " If I had to , I would have her age sewn on to her bikini on the left cup , and Jail Bait sewn on to the other one . " I also told her that it would not just be her in trouble , if I thought the offense was bad enough , her whole family would be looking for jobs . " You are not going to destroy what we have built up from nothing . We employ a lot of people here , and you would be taking from them also . What the divers say about us , when they leave here , has a direct effect on our bank balance . " I didn 't have any problem with her . She did get a lot of admiring looks , but she was quick to tell them , that she was only 14 . Several of the girls helped with her Home Schooling , and she did pass the exams in the books , so , maybe we got through to her . She could already handle a boat , and she was fearless when it came to diving . When Jimmy came with the freight , he had two new helpers , both girls between 14 and 18 , both spoke Spanish and maybe 200 words of English . I asked him where he came up with them , and he told me they were semi - orphans , probably abused , from his old neighborhood . They were going to share Brendes ' room , and help with the freight and the bakery . He was going to bring both of them for a while , so they could learn where the different stores were . I asked him to keep me a list of what supplies and how much was going to Caye Chapel , and to try to find out what job Anita had and also what they had Clawdy doing . He told me it would not be a problem and he would keep it quiet . I told him if there were about four more girls that needed jobs to bring them out when he delivered the freight . They will need to be young and pretty , willing to wear bikinis as a work uniform , and they will be diving a lot . Nope , give her a hundred dollar bill , and a day off . If the guy comes back , we 'll let her finish him off . Call Lupito and tell him to spread the word on what happened , and that the guy got his ass kicked by a girl when he tried to rape her . Tell him if the guy has a wife , to make sure she hears about it . When you get a chance , call the building contractor , and tell him we need a fence around the boatyard , and a building , with an office , and about 10 bedrooms with bathrooms . " Jimmy brought two girls to talk to Leta . One of them was a nice looking girl , but the other one was skin and bones , and her hair looked like she combed it with a Mixmaster . He told me that she was probably starved , and that she had been on the streets for a long time . He wanted me to use her if we could , because she was not going to make it much longer where she was . I asked if she was on drugs , and he said he didn 't think so . She had just been beat on till she had given up . He said her name was Rachel , and she just needs somebody to give her a chance . I caught Rae and told her to go tell Leta that I wanted Rachel to be her assistant . " You did the right thing Jimmy , and she will have a place here . We can 't take all of them in , but I can see how important it is to you , so we 'll have to find a way to help them . Tell Heidi to feed them , and let them use one of the rooms for showers . If you need to , buy a few fold up beds , and put them in the warehouse . Stop by here before you leave and I 'll give you some money to buy clothes and a washer and dryer to put in the warehouse . If you can clean them up , and feed them , they will have a better chance of finding some work . Are there any orphanages that could take care of them ? " " Bring the older girls out here . At least we can keep them from being abused . There is not any way that I can take the guys , not with having girls that have already been abused , it just won 't work . " " I know , it 's the reason we have not taken in any . Heidi and Elke would kick their ass out , if they even suspected there was something going on . They are not real happy , that I have two girl helpers , but I told them that those two were staying , or I was leaving , and I meant it . " It took a few days , but we got the girls to the Doctor , and got it set up where Heidi , Elke , or Jimmy could take a kid to the Doctor , and they would be treated , and the bill sent to Leta . Rachel would be fine in a few months , and I told Rae not to let her work very hard . I had Lupito finding out about job training for some of the boys , and the building contractor was going to use a few of them , on our new building , to see if on the job training would work . Jennifer wasn 't too happy about it , but she had half a dozen kids working at the motor shop , rotating through the jobs , to see if they had an aptitude for any of them . Heidi had several kids selling burritos , doughnuts , and fried pies at the taxi docks , and they were making about minimum wage . Lupito built them a pushcart , with a butane oven to keep things warm . I bought a used mini - van looking thing , for Heidi , to make deliveries to the restaurants and stores , and her business was doing better than any of us had dreamed . She had 10 to 15 kids eating there , most meals , and was still making money . A civil welfare officer showed up , and tried to shake Heidi down , for some cash , to look the other way , while she exploited the children . It didn 't go well for him , because Ernie , the cop , was setting there eating . He was off duty and not in uniform . He arrested the officer , and took him before a judge , and explained what we were doing , and what the officer had tried to do . He also told the judge , that we took in kids from the street , took them to a doctor , bought them clothes , fed them , took care of them , taught them a trade , so they could make a living , set up bank accounts for them and made sure that they saved 75 % of their wages , and that we were doing this for children that the country of Belize had already failed and written off . We will have no further problems with any of the government about what we are doing with the children . Rae and Rachel started pulling one dive boat a day out of the water and cleaned the hulls , a couple of them had some gouges and scrapes , so Russ and Buddy showed them how to sand and fill the damage and paint it with gel - coat . Some of the other boat owners on the island started inquiring about cleaning and painting with various anti fouling paints , and we added two more girls to their crew . They acted like it was all a big party , and cleaning boats was more fun than anything in the world . Andy taught them about replacing zincs , and what to point out to the owners . They would also check the through hull seals and fittings . We picked up some engine work , and a paint job , from a guy who lived in San Pedro . He told us he had been going all the way to Puerto Barrios , in Guatemala , to get his boats lifted out and cleaned . He had talked to Lena and Raine , when they stopped in San Pedro and they had told him that we could lift a pretty big boat , including either of our big catamarans . He ran 6 tour boats with only two doing long tours . He claimed he made more money running day tours with 12 to 20 passengers , and the boats were at the dock every night . I told him we only had the one tour boat , and we really never set out to do tours , it just happened . Now we have them booked and can 't quit . I told him about Treasure Island , and the people that rented it for skinny dipping . He said a customer had asked him about it , but he didn 't know what they were talking about . I told him that the other big cat was set up for salvage and towing , and he asked if we monitored the radio all the time . " No , but if you called and caught one of us , we would come and get you . " He told me I should put up a tall antenna , and get listed with the coast guard , we would have to monitor the radio , but it paid some big bucks , for towing , and if there were bad seas or other risks it paid even more . " Oh Levy , Dear , you are so smart , that was just the greatest idea ever . Now get your ass outta here and go build them . If I can 't rent them , we 'll have two more bedrooms at Treasure Island . " I watched Rachel unload the barge with the furniture for the new building . She is good , with the big lift , she set the pallets right in front of the door . Buddy and Russ were doing the heavy work , and the girls doing the small boxes . The boys had already complained that Leta wouldn 't let them move into the new building . All I can say is " Nice try . I wouldn 't mind living there myself . 25 or 30 of the best looking women in the country , not bad roommates . " " Levy , it 's not a good idea to turn someone loose with a boat like that . It will be a little top heavy , and if they hit a wave wrong , they will be in trouble in a hurry . Kate has to be really careful towing the bathroom barge , because it 's top heavy , and I can 't see you building one much lighter on top . " They went to get the plans , and I called Herb the dock man . We laid the plans on the big table in Leta 's office , and the simplicity of the plan was amazing . They had a double fence , covered with square fence wire . They would use camouflage nets over the fence material , and then plant the climbing flowers in planter boxes to cover them with . The fence would be welded to the tops of the concrete dock pilings , and extend to below the water by a foot . Some of their islands were not really sand , but docks , on the shallow submerged sandbars . They had Tree - House type platforms , made on concrete pilings , with rope swings and flowers climbing everywhere . They had a specific plan , for half a dozen different sandbars in the area . When I asked them about how long they had worked on the plans they told me " It was a backup plan , in case something happened to Leta , Lena , and me . " They had thought that Anita might take over , and they were going to build one island and try to make a living from it . Now they would have their island in case they needed it . When the dive boats came in , everyone had to see the new islands , and Dani had a paper and pen making notes of their ideas . Everyone , including the students and divers , agreed that the tree house was the cool thing , so each island would have one . Rope bridges seemed to appeal to everyone , and a lookout on top with a grass hut design . I was against the grass hut because of smokers , but Linda seemed to think that it could be made safe with a fire retardant spray . Marko had a lot of ideas for building different things , and Dani 's pen was really moving . Ropes and vines just seemed to go together . One of the tree houses evolved into a beached pirate boat made the same as the tree houses but wire would be used to make the boat shape and of course it would be covered with vines and flowers . Herb , and his ass - hole Brother in Law foreman , showed up the next day . Herb liked the whole idea , but his foreman thought it would be too hard to make everything the way we wanted it , and started telling us how we would have to change things to suit him . I got pissed off and told Herb that " Rubi and Dani would be in charge of the project , and I didn 't want his foreman anywhere near it . He could either get rid of him , or we would find another company to do it . " Herb told him to " Head for the taxi dock , and he would not be working on this project , and was laid off until it was finished " . We found out that Herb only kept him because his wife demanded it . Herb had some good ideas and thought we could build up the submerged sandbar with dredged material the way we had done the boatyard . I told him to " Work with the girls , and come up with a price for the pilings , double fence , dredging , and the tree houses with docks . We would be using a solar power set up , about the same as Treasure Island , with the exception of some new desalination units , called slingshots , or something weird . We also wanted one installed on the original island . We had decided that moving a bathroom barge once a week was not going to work with six islands , and we were going to have to bring in a pump boat , to empty them on a regular schedule . If we put the holding tanks were they could be accessed from outside the fence it would work . " Herb said we would probably have to dredge a path for the pump boat , but we had to get sand from somewhere anyway . Almost everyone had some input or idea for the islands . The high school was doing a lot of computer drawings of different parts of the tree houses , so they could be constructed with square steel tube with heavy wood floors . They also designed the bathrooms and figured out the plumbing system with the desalination units . They were re - working the website , and creating new pages for each island , and would use lots of pictures , as soon as they were available . I helped Marko create old looking wood items , and Linda made some carved Totem poles for one of the islands , they had a small solar panel and battery unit on top , and she used LED 's and colored glass to light up different areas . Each of the islands had a theme , and it seemed that each island had a few people that wanted to make it the best one . I saw pearls made out of marbles coated with pearl fingernail polish , more of the pennies covered with gold foil , wood swords , wood pirate pistols , an old looking ships ' mast , with tattered sails , a concrete sculpture of a mermaid . Just all kinds of things were filling up the boat shop . Lupitos ' shop got caught up in it , and he was making canvas covers for one of the tree house patios , and making the entrance signs for each island out of wrought iron . It was decided that if one of the themes did not rent as well as the others , we would change it to something else , because it was cheap to do so . Once the basic island was built the theme could be changed in a day . We tied up the boat and went into the resort . Clawdy was coming down the hall with her suitcase and some guy was following her cussing and yelling at her . It was one of the owners named Turner and he said , " Get that god damned bitch out of here . " And that is when Buddy hit him , in the face . Buddy can hang a 150 horse motor on a boat without a hoist and Mr . Turner did not look like he was going to be getting up real soon . Then Mrs . Turner started yelling , and cussing all of us , saying she was calling the police . Leta smashed her a good one , to the nose , and told her that " As long as she told them what her sorry assed husband tried to do to Clawdy , we didn 't have any problem waiting on them . " Mrs . Turner decided that it would be fine if we just left . Several customers had come out of the dining room , and Buddy told them " If they wanted in on this little problem , to step on up . " I guess they didn 't want in on it , because they left real quick . Clawdy said that " Anita and the Morrison 's were Visiting various yacht clubs , trying to drum up business . It seems Mr . Turner had waited until Anita was gone , then started calling Clawdy a " Lizzy assed dyke , " and telling her how much she would like a man . Leta took her in the office , and had her write down everything she could remember . Then she called one of our dive customers , an International Lawyer . The lawyer knew Turner from a yacht club , and didn 't like him , and would be very happy to take Clawdys ' case . Leta put Clawdys ' suitcase in our bedroom . Fine with me . She then told Clawdy to call Anita and tell her what happened and that she had already got a lawyer to represent her and gave her the lawyers name . If the lawyer knew Turner , he probably knew Morrison , and that would stop Turner from doing anything about the little punch in the nose . Clawdy made herself useful , keeping each islands decorations separate and stacked neat , and she went and spent a few days with Heidi . When she got back , Leta talked her into taking over the island bookings , and moved another desk into the office . She had decided that she was not going back to chapel , regardless of what Anita did . Leta seemed to think that Clawdy was made a lot of promises that didn 't happen , and she wound up as a serving girl in the dining room . I was talking to Linda , when Anita came in the shop door . She walked up to us and told me that she did not know that Clawdy was being treated the way she was , and that she wanted to apologize to her . I told her she would find her in the office but to remember what I said about stealing my employees . " I have never blamed you for anything , Anita , not in all the years I have known you . " She turned and walked toward the office , and Linda waved bye to her and said " Nice seeing you Sis . " Then she held out her arm and we skipped off to the dining room , singing We 're Off To See The Wizard . The girls had all watched the Wizard of Oz , and now Brende and Suzie Q had everybody skipping along . Since all the new islands were mostly built up with sand and pilings , Dani wanted to use the closest sandbars and just rework them to suit her plans . It would make the care of them a lot easier for sure . They were located in a long line with plenty of separation , except for two which were laid out like a figure 8 , with the entrances at the center , but on opposite sides . They had one that was mostly sand that they called the beach house . Rubi and Dani had selected their island , and it was like a large letter C with a small opening . It had sand around the sides , with the center clear , and they called it the Rubi - Dee Lagoon . They had paid for an extra tree house , one at each end , and it had a dock that extended into the lagoon at the center . The plumbing ran between the double fences to a point in the center that had the holding tank . It also had a small maintenance building which held the desalination unit and gave them a lot of storage space . The building had wire , camo net , and vines covering it , and you had to know it was there , or you would miss it . Their bathrooms had two potties , two sinks , and they had indoor and outdoor showers . The sleeping area had two double beds , with an accordion wall between them that could be pushed back to the wall , leaving it as one large room . They had it set up where they could handle two , four , six , or eight guests . I guess they would have to be close friends for it to work . We had all decided to stick to the $ 500 per night , per couple price . The tree houses were all made using square and rectangular tubing , the walls were made like we use to build the cabins for the little cats . A lot of Styrofoam and fiberglass was used in the buildings , and the floors were another problem . We had bought 2 X 8 lumber , and built a long tank where we could submerge them in polyurethane , and then place them on a drying rack , on their edge . It was fast but it left one edge with drips hanging down so each board had to be worked after it dried . The boards were bolted to the framework , with carriage bolts , and it made a nice floor . The windows had screens , and there were screen doors , but I bet we still go through bug spray by the barrel . The solar panels were on roof top racks , and racks on top of the fence , but could be seen from the lookout hut at the top . The black tanks to heat the water could also be seen , so it was not perfect . One of the high school kids figured out a drip feeder system that watered all the planter boxes , if we remembered to turn it on a couple of times a week . We really needed a bit more electricity available , but with what we were using , the panels kept the batteries charged . I learned how to make some real looking boulders using chicken wire and fiberglass . We had a lot of wanna - be artists in our group , and they painted the fake rocks along with anything that didn 't move . We were six weeks into the project , and had the furniture and refrigerators in place . It took a while to find some two burner , butane cook tops , with safety devices built in . We had given Leta and Clawdy a date to start booking , and we were running around getting things done . I knew that Raine was using some of the girls , along with Chuck , Buddy , and Russ , for models . When I looked at the website the last time , I saw pictures of Rubi swinging on a rope and she was nude . There were pictures of the others , less clothes , swimming , laying on the sand and walking on the beach . None of the pictures were close enough to tell who they were unless you knew them . Hey , there is a picture of Clawdy and Sandy , in an area covered by flowers . I found Rubi and Dani , talking to Marko and Linda , they had a piece of paper that had a lot of post and rope drawn on it . Dani seemed to think that in the Popeye cartoons ' , that the dock posts had a flattened ball or knob on top of them , and she was trying to draw one , but could not get it the way she wanted . Marko told her he had never seen a Popeye cartoon and didn 't remember seeing anything but normal looking posts . She was telling him they had the knob to keep the rope from slipping off the post . Linda said that does make sense , but I 've never seen one . " Come on girls , take me to the city , and I 'll introduce you to someone that can tell you about dock posts . " I told Leta and Clawdy where we were going , and we stopped at Lupitos ' , and asked him if Ethridge was still around . Yep he was still there selling junk out of his building , so we went there . I had Dani show him the picture of the post and he took her pencil and made a few changes to it . They used those before they started putting cleats on the docks to tie up to . There 's some over in that trash pile . I don 't know how he determined what was trash , and what was good . It all looked the same to me . The girls started digging through the trash , like it was gold , and started another pile . Rusty pulleys , frayed rope , other rusty metal stuff , an old canvas covered cork life ring , some wood things , a broken sextant , half a ships wheel . Damn girls you 're going to sink the boat . I asked Ethridge if a hundred would cover it . He took the hundred and told the girls that the next boat load was free . We loaded it up and Dani told him they would be back tomorrow . They wound up talking him out of several more loads and some of it was not from the trash pile . They had what they thought was a real pirate ship anchor , and maybe it was . It was certainly a crude thing that could have been made with hammer and forge . I don 't know how Clawdys ' lawyer got them , but he went before a judge , with some signed affidavits , from all the female employees on Chapel . Turner 's goose was cooked . Clawdy wound up with $ 500K and I think the lawyer got more than that . Jimmy said , that the word was , that the employees got some money for the affidavits , and maybe they did . Lawyers work in mysterious ways . The Morrison 's were trying to force Turner out of the partnership , and I think they were all in a bind for cash . Anita is the only one bringing in guests to the resort , and she has to spend most of her time traveling to yacht clubs around the world . But then , what does the kitchen help know . |
Only this story isn 't about heroes . In fact , nobody in this story is even innocent . Nobody . I mean we could have told my parents the very first time it happened , but we didn 't . To tell the truth , I don 't think any of us even thought about telling them , except maybe Roxy . But if she had , it wouldn 't have been to get anybody in trouble . I know I would never have told mine , especially since it happened on our porch . On our back porch , actually . It has a swing and a grass rug and bamboo shades that come down and shut the summer sun out in the late afternoon because it faces west and gets really hot . There are two big maple trees between it and the house downhill from us , but those trees are more toward the North , which means the sun comes in right smack over the Arbrides ' house from about two o ' clock until just after supper time . My mother usually drops the blinds by about four , when she and Tata sit out there swinging a little to stir up a breeze while they snap beans or shell peas . Stuff like that . Or sometimes Tata just sits there alone , watching people go up and down the back alley and through our arbor to get out to Market Street . It 's her " window on the world , " she says - it and the Arthur Godfrey Show , which is the only thing more interesting to her than watching who comes back from town with a brown sack the shape of a liquor bottle . It was also where my friends and I ended up on summer evenings after the dinner dishes were done . My parents would sit out on the front porch then , chatting with anybody who stopped by on their way downtown . They 'd spend a whole evening out there , talking about ailments and the war and where you might be able to get Ivory Flakes this week . What my friends and I talked about was mostly boys we liked and girls we thought were stuck up or spoiled or headed for trouble . Anyway , there was usually just Judy and me , but the first night it happened there was also my cousin Lucy . She had come in from the " big city " for her annual visit the week her parents took their vacation , and we had been swimming at the city pool all afternoon . That is , I had been . She had been busy splashing this boy named Edward Fowkes , a cruddy high school kid . I mean he was tall and skinny and freckle - faced and nobody a regular high school girl would even look at . On the other hand , Lucy goes to a special high school for musically talented kids , so it 's not all her fault she couldn 't tell who was worth splashing and who wasn 't . She could have figured it out , though , by just watching to see who all the other girls her age were chasing . I had just finished seventh grade at the time , and I could have told her even then ! Well , Lucy and I had been in the living room playing the piano for the benefit of the evening visitors on the front porch . Mama never missed a chance to show us off , even though it always backfired on her because Lucy was about fifty books ahead of me in lessons . She was way up to Rachmoninov and Debussy , while I was still practicing the left hand fingering for little one - flat pieces like Schubert 's " Serenade . " I still get mad when I think of all the looks Mama used to give me while Lucy was putting in her two hours of " vacation practice " every day and the lectures I got once she went home . I 'm not planning to be a concert pianist ( as I once pointed out and got a sent to bed without supper for it ) . So I was getting tired of Lucy smashing out those hard - to - reach chords and tinkling all up and down the keyboard like a prodigy that night . " Let 's go sit on the back porch and listen for the ice cream pony , " I whispered as she came near the end of the first part of Paderewski 's " Menuet . " When her eyes darted away from the sheet music , I knew I had come up with just the right ticket . Lucy loved ice cream , you know . She shouldn 't have . She should have been eating apples or something instead because she was plumping up all over , if you know what I mean . In fact , I thought she should have finished plumping the summer before . But who was I to say ? Mama still couldn 't understand why I was pestering her for a training bra . " Okay , " my father called back . " Let me know if you need some money . " He 's always like that . If any other kids came by , he had nickels handy . Summer nights our back porch was a popular place . Even if little kids from down the alley came by , my father was ready for them . " They need a treat , too , " he used to say - and still does if any show up . My father is a really good person . " Who 's that ? " Lucy asked as we let the screen door slam behind us . She had noticed a man sitting down in our arbor . We could look right down there until we went over and sat down in the swing , where the bamboo shades were let down to cut off the sun . He 'd been there a couple of evenings before that , but she hadn 't noticed him , I guess . " Because he has TB . " " TB ! " " Shhhh ! Yeah , TB . He came back from Germany with it . He and his wife and little boy came to live with his parents because he 's too sick to work . " A second later , though , we heard his door open again . We both scooted down in the swing to see through the four - or - five - inch slot . He was there on the stoop that led into the Arbrides ' dining room , which he uses now as a bedroom because he can 't climb stairs . He had something with him , carrying it on his right side as he slumped toward the arbor . What that " too " meant was he was musical like her , of course . Which also meant that I wasn 't because she 's " musical " from her mother 's side . Blood - wise , I didn 't get any talent at all . That 's what she was saying . " Chopin had tuberculosis too . " I just kept quiet . That was the only way to avoid a lecture on the subject , as if having to learn the fingering for my simplified version of his " Polonaise " wasn 't already enough of Fredrick C . But as we listened I couldn 't help comparing how he played " Nola " with Lucy 's rendition . The happy bounce was all out of it , and it seemed sort of sad . We both sat there like statues with ears . " Do you hear that ? " he asked in a low voice . " Now that 's music , girls . I 'm going down to talk to him . I never realized Alfred 's son was so talented . He 's been away so long . What a pity ! What a pity ! " His voice trailed off , and we dipped down and watched him step through the stones of the rock garden to the arbor and lean there until the last note faded away . I could see Lucy 's eyes screaming , " Quarantine ! " as my father came back up to our porch with the news that he had invited Corporal Arbride to come up and accompany us on the violin . We could even do it twice if he felt up to it . First for practice , then for a little musicale when Lucy 's parents came back to pick her up . " But he has TB ! " Lucy exploded like the little knob on Mama 's pressure cooker . " Oh , he 's recovering . The doctors have given him permission to come home . They wouldn 't have done that unless they knew he was no longer contagious . " Lucy scrunched her eyebrows down and puffed out her lips the way she does when she 's about to come out with her usual end - of - our - week - together threat : " I 'll tell Mother what you did when she gets here ! " I ignored her until Daddy had gone to tell Mama and Tata and everybody else who was on the front porch by now all about his trip down to see Corporal Arbride . Then I said , " Oh well , he 'll never come up here to play . I 'll bet he 's forgotten all about it already . " " I hope you 're right , " Lucy huffed and plunked onto the swing , " My mother would have a fit if somebody with TB came into our house . " I let that go and started pumping the swing just enough to get a little breeze on us . It was dark by then , but August nights stay hot forever . " Look , " I said . " He 's going in already . That wore him out . " He had turned the light on in his bedroom , and I pulled her down a bit to watch him lay his violin on a chair and then lie down on his bed . It was next to the double window , and both of them were open with screens stretched across their lower halves . You could see him lying there , sort of cut in half horizontally by the tops of the expandable screens . " So where is his wife ? " she asked . " I don 't know . " I was getting tired of explaining all this . " She 's probably upstairs putting the kid to bed . " That kept her quiet for a while , and I was just about to say , " You know that boy at the pool today ? " when she scrunched down for another look . What I saw was really upsetting for two reasons . First , because she was right , or half right to be exact . Second , because I had just gotten a glimpse of a man naked from the waist down . His top was still on as he lay there flat on his back in front of the window , with nothing between the bottom half of him and the whole wide world except the sliding screens in the double window . That and the bamboo shades we had to peek under . " Hi ! Whatcha doin ' ? " came a voice we both knew , but it scared us right up out of the swing . The thing jangled on its chain and swooped back down , hitting us on the backs of our legs . That 's when I went to the edge of the porch and yanked her on over behind the let - down blinds . " Get over here , " I whispered , dragging her by her arm . " Stay outta sight . " Lucy gave me a look and , as if that wasn 't enough , nudged me and hissed , " Ixnay ! " Of course , that tipped Judy off right away that she wanted me to hide something from her . Lucy treated my friends highhanded like that all the time , and we talked about her for it after she went home every summer . But I had to show Judy where my heart was , and so I said , " Sit down . We 're going to show you something . Shhhhh ! Bend down and look through the opening at the neighbors ' window . Tell us what you see . " " We just happened to glance down there , " I began and told her the whole long story . Lucy topped it off with , " And he 's got TB , too . And I am never going to perform with that man . " Can you believe that ? In the middle of all this , she was still thinking about " performing . " That 's just how sure she was that she would be some female Paderwerski . Lucy dropped back down onto the swing , and we all fell into our squirm - and - squint positions . It was Judy who defined it for us . She knows a lot more than we do because all we know is what we 've read about " Reproduction " in Volume 14 of The Encyclopedia Britannica . " See ? " she said . " Wha 'd I tell you ? " I thought my cousin was going to faint . But she didn 't get up and act like she was too good to watch anymore . We all bent down with our eyes glued on that left window , but boy did we jerk up when we saw a door open and the bottom half of a flowered dress come into the bedroom ! The last thing we saw was him rolling over toward the window . " Yeah . My brother . I 'm not supposed to know why he gets sent out to cut grass or shovel snow , but that 's the kind of stuff he 's got to do every time . I make sure I never go near the bathroom when he 's in there , believe me . I don 't want to see him and throw up or something . " Judy and I started watching again , though , and she finally sat down and joined us . The hands that went with the dress put a basin on the bed , then dipped a cloth in the basin and wrung it out . Then they wound his pajama top off . Her face appeared from behind a light brown pageboy as she bent over the bed and wiped down his back and one arm . I spoke up . I 've had lots of experience in the fever field . " That 's a cold compress . She wasn 't washing him at all . She was just cooling him off . His temperature is probably up again . " " Think he 'll do it again tomorrow night ? " I could almost tell what she was planning . " No ! And we 're not telling anybody else , are we , Lucy ? " " Good heavens no ! " my cousin exclaimed , just like her mother , with her hand spread out over her chest . " Don 't even think of it ! What if somebody knew we had watched ? " We mulled that over about thirty seconds and then decided to let Roxy Foster in on it , mostly because her mom 's a nurse and her dad 's a doctor , a chiropractor actually , which means she knows all about everything . She hasn 't had to read The Encyclopedia Britannica either . She 's just kept her eyes and ears open around her house because she 's going to be a doctor some day , and she 's smart enough , too . We cornered her at the pool the next day and invited her to come home with us after swimming . What for , we wouldn 't say . Then we speculated secretly the rest of the afternoon . Would he do it again or not ? Lucy thought it was outrageous to even think he would . Judy bet he wouldn 't . I bet he would . " Would what ? " Roxy kept asking . We wouldn 't tell . We kept the future Dr . Roxanne Foster in the dark all afternoon , and then we kept her guessing all through supper , too , because we didn 't want her to ask any questions that would tip my parents off that something was going on . Even then we almost lost control of our plan when my father , out of the blue , brought up the subject of Corporal Arbride . He asked Lucy and me if we had seen him during the day . First I choked on my meat loaf , but seeing that the prodigy had suddenly gone deaf and dumb , I stammered out that , no , we hadn 't . Silently , I thanked God that it was Friday and we had only tomorrow left . Sunday would be too late , since the Silent One 's parents called to say they 'd be coming to get her by noon . Great ! No musicales would ever take place in our house during church time or Sunday dinner hour ! " What would we have done ? " Lucy 's voice returned once we got away from the table . She even dug her tough little prodigy fingers into my arm . " What if your father had gone down there and - " " Well , he didn 't , " I said , " and you 're hurting me . " I could see Roxy was getting real curious with all this secret stuff going on . " So let 's take a walk downtown and tell Roxy the whole story before Judy comes . It 's still too light out anyway . " " Uh , no , but - " " But people walk past those windows all the time ! " Lucy put in . " They cut through from the alley and walk right past there . " " Those people couldn 't see in , " she said , quietly squeezing down onto the swing again . " The windows are too high . She 'd know that . The only reason you can see in is because you live uphill here . And they know you have these blinds . " " Not right , " argued St . Lucille . " We could have dropped the blinds clear down the minute we saw him . We could have not looked one more second after - " Our arms stiffened against each other . We each held a finger to our lips . We signaled wildly for nobody to bend down , then for only one person to do it . Three fingers pointed at Roxy . You 'd have thought she 'd been scared , but she wasn 't . She turned toward the blinds , bent , stared , and came back up to face us . We jerked around trying to organize ourselves so that we 'd each get a turn and not clank the swing around . Three fingers pointed to Lucy . She ducked down and came back up with her hand over her mouth . Judy didn 't wait . Neither did I . We all dived down together and saw it all . The TB patient was walking around stark naked and , right in front of us , he crawled onto the bed that way . " Oh my God , " breathed Judy from her bent over position . We had to pull her back up . On the way through the house , we regrouped . " Don 't go near that piano , " I warned everybody . " We don 't want my father to even think about it . " Then I called through the screen door to my parents and Tata , " We 're gonna walk Roxy and Judy down the alley to Sumpter Street . They phoned their moms to come out and meet them . You won 't have to take them home . " " Oh , leaving already ? " my mother called back , and even through the screen door I could see her smiling about one and half times as broadly as she would have if it had been just Judy . And , of course , they wouldn 't take Judy home anyway . She walks home all the time without her mom having a conniption because she might get kidnapped or something . " Yes , ma ' am , " answered Roxy , sticking her head up beside me at the screen . " I have to be home by nine - thirty . Thank you for dinner , Mrs . Colson . It was very good . " I wondered what my mom would feel like if she knew how quick Rox had made that lie up . She didn 't need to be home by nine - thirty . She had seen what we brought her to see , and that was it . No use hanging around after she had given her diagnosis . " Well , do drop by next week , Roxanne - and Judy , of course . Our little girl 's going to feel a bit let down after Lucille goes home Sunday . They 've had such a grand time together this week . " We walked through the alley in the opposite direction from downtown then said good - bye to both of them at the corner of Sumpter . From there , Roxy only had a block to go to her house , with its doctor 's office in a little wing on the side . Judy had to go another three blocks . All through the night , Lucy and I made guesses as to why the man did what he did . We believed Roxy when she said he knew we were watching , and we turned that over and over in our minds . " Do you think he 'd tell on us ? " she finally asked . I knew all along that 's what was worrying her . " Tell on us ? Are you nuts ! Do you think he 's gonna tell somebody he 's been walking around naked in front of twelve - and fourteen - year - old girls ? " " Oh , I 'm right , all right . " I said . But it was like she had put a worm in my brain , and the darn thing crawled around in it all night . Saturday morning came . Last full day for Lucille . I was thankful as a pilgrim in November . Mama might think she 's great company and all , but if she lived here and was in my own grade , I don 't know whether I 'd pick her as a friend or not . I mean , she 's okay , but well , that 's beside the point . he point came right after Tata went back to her room to listen to her Saturday morning programs and my father was getting ready to mow the yard . " Say , " he said , emptying his cup of coffee . " It doesn 't matter if Lucy 's folks won 't have time to hear the girls play with a violinist . I 'm going down to see young Arbride . We could have him come up tonight , couldn 't we , Elizabeth ? And maybe you could whip up a cake so all the Arbrides can come . And I 'll go get ice cream . What do you say ? " Lucy and I stood there like two of Mama 's crystal goblets ready to shatter on the linoleum . " Good ! I 'll go see him right now . This will be an evening to remember ! " And he went through the screen door like a man on a mission . " Would you girls clear the table ? " Mama asked and was on her way upstairs before we got one syllable out . " I 've got to get dressed if I 'm going to the bakery . Dear , dear . I thought I had my shopping all done yesterday , " she mumbled away . We waited to hear her slippers muffle up to the top step . Then I screamed , " What are we gonna do ? " and punched Lucy on the shoulder the way I used to before I got punished one year for ungracious behavior toward a guest . Some guest . She was in this as deep as I was . Then I wished I hadn 't . She started to cry . " Oh for Pete 's sake ! " I said . " Get a grip on yourself ! Let 's think ! Think ! You 're older than me ! Think ! " " Okay , I 'll do the thinking for us . We 'll just go along as if nothing ever happened . The man 'll do the same thing . You don 't think he 's gonna come out and say , ' Hey , Mr . and Mrs . Colson , guess what I 've been doin ' to entertain your little girls ? ' do you ? Of course , not ! He won 't say a word . We won 't say a word . Just keep your nerve up , Lucille Verona , and keep your mouth shut . Okay ? " It 's an awful responsibility taking care of a scaredy - cat cousin that everybody else thinks is a young adult and a prodigy , too . But I was pleased with myself for what I came up with and how I got her calmed down real quick . Meanwhile , Daddy came banging back into the kitchen all smiles , and we knew the musicale was on . " Seven o ' clock , " he said . " Get in there and practice , girls . The whole family 's coming , too . The little boy , the senior Arbrides , his wife , everybody . It 'll be a wonderful evening . How proud we are of you girls ! Well , don 't just stand there ! Finish those dishes , and get some practice in before swimming today ! " We did as we were told , mainly to keep our minds off the problem . I even did a ton of arpeggios as a sort of prayer . Anyway , I figured the less we talked about it the better . Lucy was a ticking sniffle bomb . And I had to prop her up all afternoon at the pool , too . I nixed her idea of asking Judy or Roxy what we ought to do . The less they remembered about the thing the better , I figured . And if Judy happened to come over the way she usually does , well , we 'd just make sure she kept her eyes off Corporal Arbride and kept her lips sealed . Judy 's good at that . She 's had practice . Anyway , Mama had supper at six , as usual . We had our hair all dried by then and went upstairs to get good dresses on as soon as we 'd cleared the table . She had everything all perfect , with the cake and plates and forks and napkins laid out on the dining room table , and Daddy was cleaned up and busy collecting chairs from all over the house to put in the living room . He was as nervous as my piano teacher just before a recital . He had hardly said , " Get the music out you were playing a couple of nights ago , girls . Especially that one you played , Lucille . He knows that one , so it 'll be a good way to go into a duet , " when I glanced over at Lucy and wished I hadn 't . The dress she had on made her look sixteen , but the look on her face was definitely kindergarten . I had to prop her up again , so I shot her a look that would put steel in a snake 's spine . It said , " Keep your eyes on me , Lucille Verona Sellers . Everything 's going to be just fine . " And she seemed to buck up a little . I was so encouraged by her change that I went to the door and said , " Good evening , " to the whole flock of Arbrides as they trooped in off the front porch . The corporal came in last . I almost lost my grip for a minute when I saw he was all spiffed up in his uniform . My eyes cut over to Lucy . She must have noticed it , too , but I couldn 't tell if it was affecting her or not . " Good evening , " my father went all around , greeting each member of the family and swelling the little boy 's chest out by telling him how much he had grown since they 'd first moved here and promising him we 'd have cake and ice cream when the music was over . And everyone had to meet Tata , of course . And then Daddy sounded like Major Bowes introducing talent show contestants all the time the corporal was stroking his violin into tune , saying , " Would you please give me an ' A ' ? A middle ' A ' . " Lucy never looked up from the keyboard . Never let the violinist know she was going to begin . Never paused for him to join her . Never bothered to put either foot near the pedals . I , the page - turner , stood there horrified to hear her bang out the jaunty opening notes of " Nola . " I thought for a moment I might have put the wrong music out , but there was the piece that Daddy had bent down and announced ! And she was already at the end of the first part of " Nola " and starting the higher repetition of it when Corporal Arbride started to take things into his own hands . He bent over her left shoulder and bowed a note or two that sort of blended with the tune , but she was ripping along so fast he didn 't seem to realize yet that the music in front of her was not what she was playing at all . By the time she started the familiar opening theme for the third time , his head was so close to hers that Lucy must have felt his breath or something . Her head whipped to the left , and her face suddenly brushed right up against his . I was on the other side and couldn 't see the look on it , but if he saw it , it wasn 't for long . The fingers of her right hand were peeling right down over all those sharps to that low A before the snappy ending when her head swooped right down with them , scraping along on the keys as she crumbled . " Lucy ! " Mama cried , and Daddy leaped from his chair to catch her . She was already slipping down between the bench and the bottom front of the piano . The guests " oooohed " and cried , " Poor dear child ! " and " Gracious , what 's the matter ? " and all kinds of stuff like that . Only Tata kept her head . She said , " Go get the smelling salts , Charles . The girl 's fainted . " Then , to Mama , she whispered in her deaf person 's way , " It 's not her time , is it , Elizabeth ? " And my mother about died , hushing her , and declaring Lucy had simply had too much excitement this week - swimming and movies and talking all night long . That 's when she gave me a look as if to say I was the one who had caused it all . Well , Lucy revived , of course , after Daddy half dragged her and half carried her over to the sofa , where Mama alternately waved the smelling salts under her nose and patted her hands . Meanwhile , Daddy made me play every darn piece I 'd ever learned to keep the musicale from being a complete disaster . Corporal Arbride tried to play with me a couple of times but couldn 't seem to find where I was at , so in the end he skipped through my book and found " Humoresque , " which he played very beautifully and received a round of applause from everyone except Sleeping Beauty . After cake and ice cream , which I had to carry to each guest , including the corporal , everyone declared it had been a wonderful evening and the little boy had behaved beautifully and we should do it again some time . Meanwhile , my prayers were answered . The wind started blowing outside , and the neighbors excused themselves early to get home and put their windows down before the storm . Mama helped Lucy upstairs to bed , hovering over her and bringing her a hot water bottle filled with icy water to help her keep cool because once the thunder and lightning were over the air coming in through the screens was hot and humid as ever . She 'd check on her one minute to see if she was clammy and to see if she was flushed the next . I finally got to bed after stacking all the plates and taking a couple of extra licks of the wonderful almond flavored icing on the bakery cake . Lucy didn 't talk as I came in and took my nightie to the bathroom to undress and brush my teeth . And she didn 't talk as I came back and crawled into bed . And she didn 't say a word as I squirmed over onto about one eighth of the bed to get off of the places she had already heated up all over the mattress . Next morning she didn 't talk either . Not even to say good morning to Tata . And since she was excused from going to Sunday school and church , with Mama staying home to be her personal Florence Nightingale , we didn 't have a minute alone again . My aunt and uncle were there already with the usual vacation souvenirs for us when Daddy and I walked in with our Bibles in hand . I kissed my cousin good - bye because I didn 't want to be questioned about anything once she was gone , but I can tell you this . Three summers have gone by now , and she 's always had somewhere else to go while her parents took their vacation . Which means we 'll probably never talk about it ever again , and that 's fine with me , except she 'll never know that Corporal Arbride 's TB did come back and he died in the veterans ' hospital . I went to the funeral home with my parents and looked right at him in his casket . I don 't think he was such a bad person . Roxy doesn 't either , but Judy won 't sit on our back porch any more . So , when this is all history , who knows how we 'll feel about it ? As for me , I think we were all guilty , but I think we were all sort of innocent , too . The only people who were really hurt were his family . His wife and son moved away , and his parents now live in their big , old , dark , empty house that doesn 't even have a gold star in the window . |
We got a lot of sun growing up . During the summer we 'd walk to the park to swim practice . I 'd take off my shoes and walk barefoot , dancing on the hot pavement to keep from burning my feet . Summer also brought warm rains and we 'd go out and splash in the puddles , glorying in the water pounding down from the sky . We 'd come back inside , shivering , and our mom would make us grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup . Everything grew there and the dirt was good earth , black and crumbly between my fingers . The fog , though , was my favorite . We lived near a freeway , so there was always noise . On a foggy morning , I 'd wake up to the noise muffled or even silent . I would lie in bed , holding myself still , willing the relative silence to continue . Eventually a car would drive by and I would get up to look at how closely the fog had encroached . Some days it was just a little foggy , enough to mask the Mormon temple on the hill . As the sun burned off the fog , the temple would reflect the light first . For a long time I thought that temple was a spaceship , and I think , perhaps , that watching the sun catch the tallest spire when the rest of the valley was still swathed in grey may have had something to do with that idea . Once in a while the fog would engulf my small world . I could barely see the houses across the street . The looming trees above them were mere hints , slightly darker shadows . The world was truly quiet then , or at least as quiet as I , a city girl , had ever experienced . The sky felt low , oppressive , overpowering , and I often wondered if the top story of the house would still be there if I went upstairs . I loved the muted world . I opened the window to feel the air , heavy with water , come in , and I could feel it flow down to my feet . If I left my hand outside long enough , beads would form , beautiful , but not reflecting anything because no light was bright enough to pierce the fog and pull colors from the droplets . Companionship She was sitting at the bar looking tired and lost . She was also quite attractive , though he was sure she didn 't feel particularly interesting right then . He knew he could change that , at least . He was good at that . Everyone seemed to think of him as a harmless old widow , but a surprising number ended up in bed with him . He smiled , remembering a few of his more interesting companions . The stool next to her was empty . He walked up to the bar a few seats away and began chatting with the bartender . He was here often enough that they conversed easily . The bartender was a young , handsome man who seemed amused by the considerably older man 's ability to coax women to bed . Both of them had standards ; neither would sleep with a married woman or even one just involved with someone else . They weren 't willing to hurt anyone , and , in a world of rakes and rogues , that gave them a place to begin a friendship . After a few minutes of light banter , the older gentleman looked over at the woman . " Hello , my dear . Would you mind if I sat next to you ? I 'm rather short on company tonight and you look like you could use someone to talk to . " She blinked up at him , surprised and a little wary . Her expression softened as she took in his appearance . He was at least seventy years old , quite dapper , and he had a kind face with many laugh lines . He looked comforting and comfortable . She did not enjoy people hitting on her , but he seemed genuinely interested in her company , not just her cleavage . " Sure , why not . " She smiled . " You should do that more often . It brings out the green of your eyes when they catch the light . May I buy you a drink , since I 'm taking up your time ? " " Um , sure , I guess . I 'll have a gin and tonic . " She sounded slightly wary now , suddenly not as sure as she had been that his intentions were honorable . Over the next two hours , she changed her opinion again . He really was a sweet old man . His wife had been dead for about ten years , but when he talked about her there was still joy and love in his voice and his face . They had been together for almost forty years , had three children , and had traveled extensively . She , in turn , told him about her breakup six months ago . She had not been happy , really , but she hadn 't expected him to cheat on her , either , and she was still recovering from that blow to her ego . She was a nurse and loved her work . Some days , like today , she was exhausted by the end of her shift . She worked hard and did well , but it was a difficult profession , especially since she did not have family or really close friends in the area . She had moved here five months ago , determined to start over and make a better life for herself , but it was not moving very quickly . She listened avidly to his travel stories and wished she could visit some of the exotic places he described . He did not ply her with drinks , but he paid whenever she asked for another . Near the end of the evening she switched to fruit juice so she could sober up and get home safely . Over the next two weeks , they saw each other three more times , always at the bar . After the third time , as their discussions carried on until closing , she impulsively asked if he would like to come over to continue talking . She did not have to work in the morning and the idea of going home to her empty apartment was suddenly too dreary to contemplate . He agreed and followed her home . She made hot chocolate and put together a plate of crackers , cheese , and cookies . He appreciated everything and was , as always , quite courtly . She enjoyed his company , his sometimes wicked sense of humor , and his intelligence , and she felt more comfortable around him than around any man she could think of . She told him all of this when she was tipsy enough to blurt out her innermost thoughts , then blushed furiously and muster that he could just ignore that . She leaned into him , smelling a whiff of pipe smoke and brandy . She snuggled closer as he began to rub her back . Non - sexually , she told herself , but it felt very good . It kept getting better , too . He took his time , making sure she was relaxed and happy . She looked up at him to ask if he was comfortable and found herself kissing him instead . This was not a bad thing , she decided , enjoying the kiss . Events continued to unfold at a relaxed pace , both of them enjoying sensations and feeling relaxed and happy . At one point she stopped and said , " I 'm sorry to ask this , but , well , can you get it up ? I know older men sometimes have a problem . " The next morning , as courtly as ever , he made a simple breakfast , ate with her , and then took his leave . They agreed to meet at the bar the next week . They discussed the previous night , agreed that it was enjoyable for both parties , and agreed that neither was looking for a relationship . They parted as friends , both happier for the dalliance . Despicable The idea of the social contract is that people have an agreement to form a society and be governed by the laws of that society . Another piece of this , though , is that people within the society agree to certain things between themselves . One of these things is how to deal with areas in which we have little or no expertise . Lawyers , doctors , scientists , or any profession which requires a high degree of study and specific knowledge fall into this category . We give them money and they provide us with the benefit of their knowledge . This one took everything . We had a contract , but he decided that he would charge us for a whole lot of little things that weren 't specified . They weren 't specifically excluded , either , though , so when I went to another one of his profession to ask , I was told that it was legal . Not ethical , but legal . We needed him , my wife and I . We needed his help and he cleaned us out , took our money to the bank , strung us along , and eventually said he couldn 't help us . He 'd listed a bunch of possibilities to start with , but when it came down to actually doing something , he never did . I 'd lay bets he laughed all the way to the bank . He took another pair of suckers , convinced us he was a good guy , that he knew what he was doing , and then he took our hope and smashed it . My wife is dead now . She killed herself when the last little bit of hope was extinguished . We had a future , even with this last hope gone , but she could not live without some hope in that arena . Maybe she wasn 't imaginative enough . I don 't know . All I know is that this person left us with nothing to try again , no way of making it better . We were bankrupt by the time he was done with us and we had nothing to show for it . Our savings , our house , everything , was gone , all in pursuit of the false hope he was selling . I 'm writing this letter because it 's time to make sure that he doesn 't take anything from anyone else ever again . I 'm sure he has hurt people before , and if I don 't do something , he 'll hurt others . Maybe this makes me despicable , too , but I have nothing to lose . He goes down , then I do , and it 's over . No one will miss me , I think . No family anymore , nothing left to hand out . The only thing I will leave is the lack of a person who takes advantage of people like us . I used to be a sniper . I can be one again . This man , this awful creature , this poor excuse for a human being , took everything from me . I 'm just returning the favor . " It was all of us ! I mean , we didn 't mean to . We didn 't want any of this to happen . We were just pushing buttons ! Who would be stupid enough to leave a real missile silo unguarded ? We thought it was a mock - up or something ! It was just a place Hank found , a tunnel , and we went in to explore . You aren 't supposed to leave dangerous things out like this ! We 're teenagers . We were just screwing around . We were doing what teenagers do , and we didn 't know it would hurt anybody . Honest . " He abruptly stopped talking and leaned his head on the wall . After a few moments , he added , " We didn 't know anyone would die . " The large military man sighed . The dog came from the back of the room and sat next to him , a large , hulking beast , a perfect match for the man . The four boys , seeing the dog , sat up a little straighter . The reality was less terrifying than any imagined creature . " You have loosed the dogs of war . You have killed off at least a third of the world 's population in one day , and another quarter , at least , will die from what comes afterwards . You have no idea of the number of lives you cut short because you were stupid children who wanted to push buttons . If I had my choice , I would feed you to my dog , but I doubt that would be accepted any more readily than your actions . That many people dead is a statistic . If I kill you four , however much you deserve it , people will hate me . You are four faces , four young , stupid , faces , on which their hopes and dreams can be pinned . " He sighed again . " You are going to spend the rest of your lives atoning for this mess . It was a stupid act that changed the world , and you are going to do your damnedest to make it better . " " Here 's the deal . I will not tell anyone what you did . At this point , they 're blaming anyone and everyone in power . No one will know it was you . Trust me on this ; you never want them to know . Everyone lost someone dear to them . Most people lost more than one . If they knew , they would tear you limb from limb , and I am not exaggerating . Do you understand ? " " If you only write when you 're inspired , you may be a fairly decent poet but you 'll never be a novelist because you 're going to have to make your word count and those words aren 't going to wait for whether you 're inspired or not . So , you have to write when you 're not inspired and you have to write the scenes that don 't inspire you … . . when people come to me and they say I want to be a writer , what should I do , I say you have to write . Sometimes they say , well I 'm already doing that what else should I do , and I say you have to finish things because that 's where you learn from . You learn by finishing things . " - Neil Gaiman There are days that I don 't want to write . Since Katja was born , there have been more days that I don 't want to write than days I do . There are a myriad of things to write about if I just look around a little , but I am tired . At the moment , it is 6 : 30 in the morning . I have been up since 4 : 45 , fed Katja and gotten her back to sleep , gone for a 1 . 5 mile run in 24 degree weather ( one of my toes went numb ! ) , and done dishes . All of those are things that I can write about . Katja 's contented snuggling when she finished her bottle , the streetlights making the frosty grass sparkle , coming home to a warm house , the satisfaction of creating order from chaos : each of these could be the beginning of something interesting , be it short or long . Each could provide a snippet of a novel , a scene of contentment or thoughtfulness , or a description of fighting for something , even something as small as wanting to be the best person possible for those you love . I think that writers suffer from a couple of problems when they are focused on trying to write . One is that they get so wrapped up in their writing that they forget to lift up their heads once in a while and look at the world . When I get particularly stymied , sometimes I will go someplace very busy . I will sit on a bench and watch people . I see how they interact with each other and wonder why . I look at how they dress , how they move , how they present themselves to the world . I think about what I might have in common with them and what I might not , what their day might be like , and why they react that way . I see kindness and cruelty , laughter and pain , and the stories start running in my head again . Sometimes it doesn 't take much . A brightly woven scarf on an otherwise very mousy person , for instance , or a small act of kindness , unexpected . The other problem I see is fear . We write for an audience , whether or not that is our primary goal . I write here because I need to sort out the world , but I know there are a few people who read it . I choose my words carefully ( or I try to , at least ) and I am very aware that I have an audience , even though it is small . That sometimes chokes my words . I sit down to write and I start thinking too much about what it might sound like to someone else . Once I 'm thinking about that , it is almost impossible for me to write anything . I think it sounds stupid or inane or that no one will get past the first paragraph without giving up in disgust . I had an English teacher who had us write a page in five minutes at the beginning of every class . We didn 't have to write anything in particular ; if all we wrote was one word or one sentence , that was fine . We just had to write . As we got better , as the year progressed , she began giving us topics , but we still got a good grade on the exercise if we filled a page . It seemed somewhat silly at the time , but it taught me that sometimes I just need to start writing , even if I don 't feel like there is anything to write about . I have been singing all my life . I am not amazing , but I 'm not bad . I enjoy singing . I don 't much like performing , though , for the same reason that writing is sometimes difficult . I do not like feeling judged . I doubt that anyone really does . There is a song that helps me a little , though , that I first heard on Sesame Street when I was fairly young and have loved ever since . It 's called Sing ( Sing a Song ) and it is , as far as I can tell , originally by the Carpenters . It doesn 't matter if these words are never read or if my music is never heard . I still need to write and I still need to sing . Both of these make my life fuller and more interesting , make me happier , make me pay more attention to the world . I believe that writers only run out of things to write about if they allow themselves to stop paying attention to what is going on around them or allow themselves to be controlled by fear . If you want to write , write . If you don 't feel inspired , look out the window , take a walk , take a break , and then sit down and write anyway . It won 't always be easy ; it often isn 't . Sometimes , though , the pieces you like least while you are writing them , those pieces that come from a complete lack of inspiration , can turn out to be quite good when you look at them again . Just sit down and write . Put words on paper or on a screen . Even if it 's just one word , over and over , it may develop into something more . For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week , Michael challenged me with " " I believe that writers run out of material , I really do . " - Brian Wilson " and I challenged Tara Roberts with " " I speak for the dead . " Don 't go the Orson Scott Card route , please . Make it scientific rather than psychological . " A purple love story She sat in front of the simple mirror , running the boar - bristle brush through her ebon hair . She smiled as she thought fondly of her handsome fiancé for whom she waited with trembling excitement . Their love was deeper than the deepest ocean and , according to their families , they fit together like hand and glove . They had fallen in love at first sight , and today would be another full day spent together , a joyous meeting of the minds . Tomorrow they would be married , and her heart yearned for him . The door to her private bower was flung open with great force as he stumbled over the miniscule threshold . " My love ! " he exclaimed passionately as he landed on his well - formed knees . " At last we shall have time to truly know the bliss of each others ' company ! " She stood and extended a hand to help him up , her delicate sleeve sweeping the small table clear of all of the bottles and colorful jars . She had learned early to make sure to put caps back on bottles , so the mess was minor . In any case , she had more important things to consider . " Ah , darling ! How I have desperately awaited your arrival ! We have such pleasure to look forward to for the rest of our blessed lives . " She blushed and pulled away , but he pulled her to his manly chest and breathed in her intoxicating scent . She pushed futilely against his iron muscles . " We must not ! " she whispered . " Not until tomorrow ! " He reluctantly released his powerful hold , his fingers brushing her alabaster cheek . " I suppose you are right , " he said . They proceeded to the private nook in which the servants had set up an intimate repast . He pulled her chair out with a flourish that ended with the chair in pieces against a wall , and a servant quickly brought another . She sat down , flustered by his might . He settled across the small table from her . She picked up a succulent grape and reached across to place it into his inviting mouth . Her other arm knocked over the sturdy water pitcher . Both ignored the servant who put the replacement carafe on another table just out of reach . He bit the grape gently and pulled it out of her fingers , then leaned forward to kiss the delightful extremities . The garnet wine next to his well - turned elbow spilled in a flood over her ivory dress . She stood up quickly , tripped over her chair , and managed to sprawl in a way that left her looking radiantly mussed . A single , jewel - like tear crept down her fair skin . He gently picked her up , feeling her faint as he put her over his muscular shoulder . " You 'll be fine , beloved . " His gallant voice was ground between his teeth , but he was determined to take care of her as he had promised her family he would . Famous does not equal right Unfortunately , this guy I grew up with is now famous . He 's a star in the music world . I wish I had been nicer . Everyone who knew both of us knows that he holds a grudge and that I 'm the subject . He 's still angry . He makes it very clear in his latest video . I have to hear what 's in his head . I was the beautiful one . Not just in high school , but elementary school , too . I was the one that all the boys fell in love with . I was popular , the center of attention , a cheerleader , and not a very nice person . I 'm not very nice now , either , but I am seeing a little more of what other people see . If nothing else , I will try to be more careful just so this doesn 't happen again . He was the geek , the nerd , the guy no one wanted to be seen with . He was the person you went to if you needed help with your homework , but you never actually said hello to him in the hallway . We called him Urkel , if that makes it easier to imagine . He had a huge crush on me , and I ignored him . Every time he tried to do something nice , I would laugh at him . Sometimes I would even get other people to laugh , too . I mean , seriously . Why did he think I would pay attention to someone like him ? In the video he has me sweeping stairs at the end . That 's not true . I have a perfectly good job . I 'm a secretary for a really big company . I 'm good at my job , too , and I present a pretty face to the public , which always helps . People come in really angry about something , but they are always nice to me . I might not be very smart , but I am not as low as he shows me . He 's just being mean . I 'm trying to be nicer to those people , the unattractive ones . I try to at least pretend to listen to them , and I am getting better at turning down weird looking guys more gently . I don 't laugh at them anymore . I 'm engaged to a great guy who tells me I 'm beautiful every single day . He has a lot of money , too , so I might not have to work a lot longer . I am smart enough to get a good lawyer for a prenuptial agreement , though . I 'm not going to be dumped for someone younger and prettier when he gets tired of me . Famous guy I grew up with ? Fuck you , too . I 'll bet you aren 't nice to people now that you don 't have to be . Postcards " Your father traveled a lot . " She smiled . " In some ways , though , it seemed like he was here . He sent postcards and letters from everywhere he ended up , at least once a day , sometimes more . He was very involved even when he was across the country . Open a box ! " He pulled the top box from the pile and took off the lid . Four stacks of postcards were arranged to fit neatly . He picked up a small stack and flipped through them . " Welcome to Sunny California ! " proclaimed the first over a picture of the fog - shrouded Golden Gate Bridge . The other side was a chatty , cheerful note about tourists wearing shorts and obviously just - purchased sweaters . There was also a promise of chocolate , and he had a vivid memory of the dark , slightly bitter taste of the small pieces , carefully doled out to make them last . The next , a picture of pouring rain seen through the windshield of a car , had a different tone . " It 's been a long couple of weeks . I miss you both so much . I 'll be home soon after you get this and they 've promised at least a month with no travel . We can catch up and I 'll fix everything around the house . I can tuck Nate in every night , too . " He showed that one to his mother , and she teared up and sniffed , then smiled . " We were lucky that time . He didn 't have to ship out for six months . It was so nice to have that much time with him . " Her smile turned to a grin . " Well , except for his socks left all over the house . Small price to pay , though . " He reached back in and picked one at random . A picture of Hawaii from the air , with " The weather is here , wish you were beautiful " across the top . The back read , " Hi , darling . I can send this because I know you 'll laugh . You are the best part of my life , and I can imagine your smile as you read this . " He looked up and saw that his mother had gone back to sleep . He opened another box and settled in . When she woke up , they 'd go through more memories . She was in her last few days , and he wanted her to be as happy as possible . For all the times his father had been gone , he did make her happy . For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week , Michael challenged me with " " The weather is here , I wish you were beautiful . " " and I challenged R . L . W . with " " We are , all of us , in the gutter … but some of us are looking at stars . " - Wil Wheaton " She called her family . " You have to come out . I know it 's a two hour drive , but I can comp your tickets , and I 'm playing the Sugar Plum Fairy . This is a huge step up for me . I 've been a snowflake for years , been the backup for Sugar Plum for the last two years , and this is my big break . I need to know you 'll be there . " She paused , listening , and then said " Oh , great ! I can 't wait to see you ! " Rehearsal time . She found her partner and they started to work . They 'd practiced it before , of course , but there was a new intensity now that he knew he 'd be on stage with her tomorrow . They danced well together , though , and after a few run - throughs they decided that it would be fine . She checked in with costuming , glad that she was the same size as Sonora . They had her try on the costume to make sure . It fit perfectly . She went out to the quiet , empty stage . The music played in her head as she practiced her solo parts , dressed as the Sugar Plum Fairy , spinning across the floor . Tomorrow she would be in full makeup , dancing with the whole company and the audience watching , but for the moment it was her time to feel the music and make sure there wasn 't a stumble or missed step . |
Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 36 " She said that ? " " Yes . I 'm sorry Brian . " Brian felt a stark , bright , bare , light bulb shining on all the accumulated futilities of his life . How often can a heart be broken ? Six simple words spoken into his open pit of yearning . " She doesn 't want to see you . " She came back to be with me in that terrible fog . She said " Brian , please don 't leave me here . " She waited for me to come out of the doctor 's office instead of going off with Frank . She came to me for comfort after her nightmare . She walked with me down the streets of Buffalo Gap . She came to see me after my surgery . She has been with me almost every day since I dug her out of the snow . We faced terror , pain and death together . And we made it . She has been the sweetest , brightest dawning of joy in my life , the child I never had , the " amazing youngster " who I have felt is a gift from heaven . And after just a few days at Saint Jane 's she doesn 't want to see me . " Did she say why ? " asked Brian . " No . " " What could it be ? What have I done to her ? " " I think that whatever has been done to her , you didn 't do it . " " But then why ? " " I don 't know Brian , but when Ms . Foster lets me I will go there and try to find out . " " Well , " Brian said with a sob in his throat " I guess I shouldn 't be expecting any phone calls . " " I guess not " said Wendy . " I 'm sorry . " " Thank you . " " Brian , I have to go back to my place . I 'll be in court all day tomorrow and I have to prepare for it . " " Okay . " " Are you going to be all right ? " " No , I 'm not all right , but I 'll survive . I 'll just sit here and wait . " " Have a drink . Have a swim . Do a little work . I 'll call you tomorrow , first chance I get . " " Good . " They kissed . She left . Now Brain was facing dark days . He saw that by making Christy go of to that place on her own he not only hurt her , he also hurt himself . His back was against a wall and there was nothing to do but wait and try not to fePosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 35 " My God ! That 's some nest of vipers Christy uncovered . Back in Buffalo Gap , Doctor Gonzago was known as Doctor Bite because he is an authority on frost bite and snake bite . I wonder how he would treat Saint Jane 's brand of venom . " Wendy was quiet for a few moments and then asked " Brian , do you think it would be a good idea to send her back up there for a while ? Just until things calm down here ? " " I don 't know . That 's an interesting idea . She was well liked up there . She spent some time with the Walker family while I was in the hospital . I know she enjoyed being with them . Frank has two kids of his own . It 's a thought . It depends on what she wants . But I tell you the truth I would rather have her here with us . " " Me too . But maybe we should ask her . " " Okay . " The idea made Brian feel sad , but he knew that it might be a good idea . He thought about Buffalo Gap and how life was so much simpler and direct up there . There were no pretensions , no inconsistencies in behavior . People were what they seemed to be . And even though he was knocked unconscious by one of the resident " troll brains " he basically enjoyed himself . And Christy was so sweet following him everywhere and full of curiosity about everything . Maybe , he thought , we should all move there . But it was an impractical idea . He and Wendy both had careers they couldn 't work at from The Gap . Monday morning came and Wendy set off to visit Alice Foster with her canvas bag filled with things for Christy . Later she called Brian to tell him that Ms . Foster gave her " okay " to everything , including the chocolates and that she hoped Christy would call soon . The day wore on with no phone call . Wendy returned to Brian 's place that evening with some good news and some bad news . " What 's the good news " he asked . " About mid day Christy called me . She thanked me for the clothes . She said she wanted to get rid of that stupid uniform she was wearing . It was all she had to wear since shPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 34 " I just remembered " said Brian " there are some of the clothes I bought her the first time still hanging in my closet . Shouldn 't we put those in the bundle ? " " Not a good idea . She might think you were inviting her not to come back here . " " Good thinking . I 'm very glad you 're in my life , Wendy . Especially now . This whole thing has me so unnerved I 'm likely to make the wrong choices . I feel like such a dope . " " Just because you act like a dope sometimes , in your own charming way , doesn 't mean you are a dope . " " Thanks . " There was nothing to do now except wait for Monday , when Wendy could take the bag to Alice Foster and hope everything passed her approval . Late that afternoon a messenger arrived with a package for Brian . Inside the large envelope was a smaller one . In the corner was written " G . Werbler " . He opened it and found an advance copy of " People Talk " magazine . He noticed three paper clips on various pages and a postit on the front saying FYI . He opened to the first clip which was on the inside of the cover page . In the corner was the picture of Christy with the title " Why can 't Christine be adopted ? Story page 12 . " He turned to the next clip , which was page 12 and there was the story of the raid and arrests of the people from Saint Jane 's . The story talked about the girls and the conditions they lived in . It explained about the policy of not allowing adoptions , only using Christy as an example . Brian was grateful for that , that they didn 't make a big deal out of Christy 's part in uncovering the crimes . Although Brian was amazed at how much and how quickly they got the information , he was glad something was being published about it , for a number of reasons . He turned to the third clip and found a strange and unexplained item which read : ( PT News ) Police reported the death of Senator Carl LaJoie ( R ) of Louisiana . LaJoie 's body was discovered yesterday by some fishermen . He had been shot through the head with Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 33 They spent the evening trying to enjoy themselves and keep their minds off of recent events and how they may have affected Christy 's otherwise buoyant , positive attitude about things . She was , after all , the girl who got his lighter to work when he thought it was dead , and was the girl who picked him up and kept him going when he fell , injured himself and thought he was dead . Brian hoped that she still had the spirit , enough to bounce back from the terrible time she spent at Saint Jane 's . Saturday they went shopping . It was a sad experience for Brian . Every time Wendy held up an item of clothing and asked Brian for his opinion , he tried to see Christy wearing it and the image of her in his mind just made him miss her more . But they finally chose a few outfits that Wendy thought Christy would like . Then they stopped by the art supply store where Brian purchased a drawing pad , some colored pencils and a box of pastels . After getting another cell phone they returned to Brian 's place to have dinner and spend the weekend , sadly but comfortably , hoping that Christy will call when she gets the phone . They programmed it with Brian 's number and Wendy 's numbers , both her personal number and her office . " What else can we get her ? " asked Wendy . " I don 't know . She never asked me for anything except a candy bar . " " What sort of candy bar ? " " Once was a Nestlé 's chocolate and the other I don 't remember . " " Well , that 's it . Monday morning when I bring the stuff over I 'll buy her a box of chocolates . " " Sounds good " said Brian . Wendy went upstairs and came back down with a canvas bag . " Where did you get that ? " asked Brian . " When I brought the things I used to invade your closet . " " Oh . " Wendy carefully removed the tags and folded the clothes for Christy and put them in the bag . Then she placed the art materials on top , and finally the cell phone . She sat down at Brian 's desk and wrote a note . She showed the note to Brian . Dear CPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 32 " Martinez couldn 't tell me more than that she was safe and under 24 hour police protection . I asked if I might see her and he said only if she requests to see me . I asked him if she knew that she could ask to see someone . He said she could but whoever it was had to pass approval from the police and the welfare worker who is assigned to her . I still wasn 't getting the answer I wanted so I asked for the case worker 's name and number . He got that for me . I told him that she had some personal items when she entered Saint Jane 's , could she still have them . He said everything they found was being held as evidence and wouldn 't be available for a while . So I asked if I could send her some things , same clothes and things . I said she likes to draw pictures , could I send her some paper and colored pencils with a note leaving her my phone number and saying that she could ask for me to come and see her if she wanted . Martinez thought that was feasible so I told him I would do that . He also said it was more than likely the judge would deny bail to all of those people , so as soon as they were all processed and locked up Christy would be safer and might be able to leave if she has any place to go . I said that she could certainly come and stay with me . After all , I told him , we are friends and it 's likely she would feel comfortable with me . He agreed . Tom got as much information as he could about when the preliminary hearings would be , when it was likely a grand jury would be paneled and when Martinez thought the trials would begin . Much of that Martinez didn 't know yet . Tom asked him to keep him informed . Martinez wanted to know why . Tom said so that he could be there . When Martinez asked him why he wanted to be there , Tom said so that he could be the nail . The DA asked him what he meant by " the nail " and Tom said to close the coffin . Tom wasn 't joking . So we left it there . I 'll call this case worker woman , Alice Foster , interesting name for someone lookingPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 31 Brian had his coffee and cigarette . With Mrs . Romero 's coaxing , he had some breakfast . His day was spent waiting to hear from Wendy about the raid on Saint Jane 's and the fate of Christy . The charges against Magda were running through his mind and he was asking himself how such a place could exist practically under the noses of the authorities . Some people must have known about it . He wondered how it could have been protected . And who was responsible for shielding it . But then he realized that since it was discovered and closed down now , all the guilty parties would be found or would disappear . Still there was the deep concern about Christy . It was courageous of her to blow the whistle like she did . If the judge hadn 't been willing to listen , she might have been sent back to Saint Jane 's to who knows what punishment . He wasn 't surprised that Christy had the nerve to do what she did . After a long walk together in the freezing and dangerous wilderness , he was well acquainted with her courage . What startled him about yesterday was the extent of the practices that Magda was being charged with . He booted up his computer and tried to do some writing . But his creative mind was withholding any useable ideas . He just felt a deep sorrow , rage and frustration . Midafternoon Wendy arrived . When she came in , they hugged and she said " I need a drink . " When she was finally settled in she said " Okay . Here 's the story . First of all , DA Martinez was very cooperative with Tom and me . We didn 't have to pry much information out of him . He was very forthcoming with it . I get the impression that he has some daughters of his own or there are some in his family . Whatever , he is gong after these people with big guns . One of the first things he did was to contact the Roman Catholic Archdiocese to find out what they know . Saint Jane 's has no affiliation with the Catholic Church . In fact the priest he spoke to was outraged to think that anyone could pull off such a fraud . Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 30 Wendy spent the rest of the day with Brian . She was primarily concerned about his feelings , so she kept hers inside . But she was boiling with rage over the disclosure of what Saint Jane 's Home For Girls was really all about . She really wanted to destroy Mother Magda and her whole group . She thought about saying to Martinez that she would gladly do whatever she could to help him put them all away for good . He would probably refuse her help , since they had been adversaries once or twice , but it was worth a try . Brian kept silent most of the afternoon . There were too many things wrong . He had trouble sorting them all out in his mind because his feelings kept flying through his head like predatory birds . He was drinking a cocktail of sorrow , guilt , fear , despair , anger . What have I done ? he thought . How could something that wasn 't my fault turn out to be something I am guilty of ? Injustice wasn 't a new topic to him . He had written about it . But it was always some one else who was the victim . But now there were a great load of victims and he and Christy were two of them . He wanted her there right now , to start a healing process . But she was gone into some secret place , and who knows when he will see her again ? Even with Wendy there , he felt so desperately alone . He turned off his computer , had some more to drink , sat by the pool but didn 't swim . Mrs . Romero had prepared a nice dinner for the two of them which Wendy enjoyed . But Brian just picked at it . Finally he had had enough to drink that he felt like passing out , so he went to bed , leaving Wendy to describe to the Romeros what had happened that day . . Brian awoke the next morning to the sound of Wendy talking on her phone to Wong . She affirmed a meeting with DA Martinez and checked up on other business . When she saw that Brian was awake she said " Gotta go … . Bye " and hung up . " How do you feel ? " " Before or after my coffee ? " he said . She slid off the bed , got dressed quickly and went to the door " Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 29 The two girls were taken out . Wendy sat with her lips pursed together and a furious look on her face . Brian was holding his bowed head in his hands . Tom Wong watched the whole proceedings of the arrest of Magda and the other nun . When they were gone Judge Weinstein said , " Well , under the circumstances it won 't be possible to decide anything in regard to this adoption request today . You are all dismissed . " Then Tom said " Let me go talk to the judge for a minute , to find out where we are . " While he was doing that , Brian said " Oh God , I feel so bad making her go there . What a dope I 've been . " Wendy put her hand on his shoulder and said " But Brian , you didn 't know . " " Yeah , but something , her intuition , was telling her not to go there , and I should have listened . " " Well , she 's out of there now and , I guess the place is closed down . We 'll soon know . " " Poor Christy . " They sat silently for a while . When Wong returned he sat down and said " Well , during all that delay , when we thought nothing was happening , they were conducting a raid on Saint Jane 's . Based on Christy 's description , which I guess , was very graphic , Judge Weinstein signed a warrant and the police went off to find out . The raid is still going on , but they uncovered enough evidence to arrest Magda . " " Where 's Christy ? " asked Brian . " We don 't know . When the raid started she was quickly taken off to a secure place , for her protection . She 's under a 24 hour guard . " " Can we go see her ? " " No . The judge wouldn 't tell me where she is . But she can get whatever she needs , the Judge assured me . " " I 've been such a fool " said Brian . " Stop it , Brian . You only did what you thought was right . Why don 't you go home ? I 'll go talk to the DA tomorrow and get as much information as I can , and I 'll call you and let you know what 's up . Wendy , take the rest of the day off . " " Okay . But can I come with you to the DA 's office ? " " Yes . If you wiPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 28 Another 10 minutes went by , another knock on the door and FBI Agent Charles Stanger entered , went to the door at the front , spoke to the guard and showed him a badge . The guard opened the door and let him through . Mother Magda stood up and said " I have to go to the rest room . " " Fine " said Officer Burnside " I 'll accompany you there and bring you back . " " I can do it on my own , thank you very much " she said , scornfully . " I 'm sure you can , but I will take you there and bring you back . " " Oh , forget it " Magda said , and sat down . More minutes went by and Judge Weinstein came out of the room and said " This hearing in the matter of the adoption of Christine Flynn will continue shortly . Another issue has come up that requires my immediate attention . When that is resolved we may get back to the business at hand . I know this is very tedious for you . I ask you to be patient and remain in your seats . Thank you . " She went back into the room . Tom Wong leaned over to Brian and Wendy and said " It must be getting very crowded in that room . " " Is there any other way in or out of it ? " Brian asked . " Yes , It 's just an interview room . It leads to the back offices of the judges and other court officials , and then through a private entrance out to the street . " " I hope Christy is okay " said Brian . " She 's fine , Brian . None of those people would do her any harm . " Another agonizing 20 minutes went by . There was another knock on the door . A man in a suit came through , went to the front and with no discussion the guard opened the door and let him through . Tom Wong took a pen out of his pocket , reached over to Wendy 's legal pad , drew it to him , flipped to a blank page and wrote : " This is serious . That was Dist . Atty . Martinez " and showed it to Wendy and Brian . Within 3 minutes the door opened and Judge Weinstein came out followed by the men in suites and one policeman . Christy was not with them . The DA walked over to Mother Magda and saiPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 27 The police officer at the side stepped over and stood in front of the door . Mother Magda went back to her seat but didn 't sit . She was watching the door . They were all watching the door . After about 5 minutes when no one came through it , Magda went over to the officer and said " Listen , I am that girl 's legal guardian and I 'm responsible for her . Let me pass . " " No , Ma ' am " said the officer . " What 's your name ? " " Fogarty , Ma ' am " " What 's your first name ? " " Carl . " " Well , Carl . " I 'm sure you can understand a mother 's concern for her child . I am now a mother to her since she is an orphan , and I 'm very concerned for her well being . On that basis I ask you to let me into that room so that I can at least see that she 's okay . " " No , Ma ' am . " " Get out of my way ! " Mother Magda pushed the officer aside and opened the door . " Christine " she hollered and started into the room . Judge Weinstein appeared at the door , stood in Magda 's way and said " I told you to return to your seat . " " I need to know what 's going on in here . " " When you 're needed you will be called . Now sit down . " " No , that 's not good enough . I 'm in charge of her . Let me in . " " I can step up to this bench , bang the gavel down , declare this court in session and have you in contempt . Do you understand that ? " Magda was silent . " Officer Burnside " called the judge . " Yes , Your Honor " came a voice from the back of the room . " Will you please conduct this woman to her seat and see that she stays there ? " " Yes , Your Honor . " A large , imposing female police officer came down the aisle , walked over to Mother Magda and said " Let 's go . " Magda didn 't move , so Burnside took her by the arm . " Get your hands off of me , I 'm a nun . " " I don 't care . Let 's go . " Magda was taken to her chair . She sat while Burnside stood beside her , her arms folded across her ample chest . Judge Weinstein returned to the room and closed tPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 26 Mother Magda pushed Christy into a chair behind the table on the right then sat next to her . The other girls filed into the second row , with the other nun sitting next to the aisle . Christy sat staring straight ahead of her . Wendy leaned over and whispered to Brian " That uniform is not hers . It 's too big for her . " A clerk of the court entered followed by three police officers . Two of them stationed themselves at the door ; the third took a chair to the side of the room . They looked very bored . The clerk went to the judge 's bench and put some papers down on it , then took a seat on the side , next to the police officer . After several minutes the door at the front of the room opened and through it came a woman in her 40s , with shoulder length brown hair and a pleasant smiling face . She was wearing a judge s robe . The clerk stood up and said " All rise . " Everyone stood . " In the matter of the adoption of Christine Flynn , Her Honor judge Agnes Weinstein presiding . " Judge Weinstein took her place and said " Be seated , please . " Everyone sat . But as they did Christy slid down under the table in front of her , crawled under it and ran over to the judge . She cupped her hands around her mouth and whispered something to her . Mother Magda stood up and shouted " Christine , come back here and stop bothering the judge . " She struggled to get around the side of the table . When Christy saw her coming , she ran around to the other side of the judge stepped up and whispered right into her ear . The judge stood , took Christy by the arm and ushered her down to the side of the room . The clerk and policeman also stood , but judge Weinstein motion for them to back off . By this time Mother Magda was free of the table and approaching Christy and the judge . The judge was speaking very quietly to Christy and holding her finger up in Christy 's face . But Christy kept whispering to her . Mother Magda held out her hand with her fingers down and the thumb on top as if she was holding Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 25 " But why not ? The woman who runs the place , Mother Magda , is expected to be there , she might say something that would reveal something . Don 't you think ? " " No , I don 't think . Besides , the Bureau doesn 't concern itself with adoption cases . We have more important things to do . " " But what do you think may be going on in there that the Bureau is interested in ? " Brian was really getting on edge with Mr . Stanger . " I can 't tell you that . " " All right , but I still think you should be at that hearing . What you do is none of my business , but I 'm very concerned about the girl I placed in there . If there IS something illegal going on , I need to know about it . " " Mr . Sims , if I find anything out I , or someone from the Bureau , will let you know . " " I hope so . Please . " " Thank you for your time Mr . Sims . " Stanger stood up . So did Brian . Agent Stanger wasted no time on good bye but turned and made his way to the front door and left . Brian was now more anxious then before . He went into the kitchen and made himself a drink . When Wendy called he told her about the meeting with Stanger . She was concerned that Stanger thought there was something illegal going on at Saint Jane 's but said that if there was maybe they could uncover it at the hearing . And she said she would make sure that Tom Bloom was there . That eased Brian 's anxiety somewhat . He knew that with both Wendy and Tom in the hearing room nothing was going to slip by . Fingers were already deftly feeling around under the carpet . The next morning Brian was up very early preparing himself for the day . He agreed to meet Wendy at 8 in front of the Family Court building . It was a cool , clear morning and Brian felt a bit more at ease that finally something was going to happen and also that he would be seeing Christy again . When Juan dropped him off , Wendy and Tom were already there . There wasn 't much to discuss so they went inside to wait . Tom checked the docket and found that the case wouldDB Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 24 Tuesday was spent working on his story , taking walks , swimming in his pool and trying to rest his fevered heart . On Wednesday morning at 10 o ' clock , Juan came into Brian 's work room to tell him that there was a man at the door who said he was from the FBI . Brian was shocked at that news but told Juan to show him in . When the man entered the room , Brian had a feeling he had met him before . The man introduced himself as Inspector Chuck Stanger and showed Brian a badge . " We 've met before , Inspector , haven 't we ? " " Yes , in Sanman . You remember . " " I do . Well what can I do for you this time , Inspector ? " " I need to ask you some important questions . " " Would you care to have a seat ? " " I would , thank you . " They both sat down and Stanger stared at Brian for a few seconds and then said " Mr . Sims , the Bureau has asked me to look into some allegations involving Saint Jane 's Home For Girls . Are you familiar with that establishment ? ' " Yes I am " Brian 's heart was now pounding . " Yes , you are . In fact you visited Saint Jane 's sometime within the past several days . Isn 't that correct ? " " Yes , I did . " " What was the occasion for your visit ? " " I had just enrolled a young girl in the place and I wanted to see that she was okay . " " Is that so ? " " Yes , it 's so . " " Where did that girl come from ? " " From Connecticut . " " And what is your relationship with her ? " " Friend . We survived a plane crash together and I felt responsible for her getting to her destination . You were in the court room in Sanman when that was all discussed and affirmed . Surely you must remember . " " Uh , yes I do , sir . And when you went to Saint Jane 's did you see her ? " " No . They wouldn 't let me . " " I see . " " I had to make a reservation to see her . But I canceled it . " " Why did you cancel it ? " " Upon the advice of my attorney . " " All right , Mr . Sims . The Bureau is investigating Saint Jane 's because it feels there mightPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 23And so the weekend came . Neither of them wanted to do any work . They spent the time getting to know more about each other , planning for the future , enjoying themselves as much as they could , considering the problems still confronting them . Saturday they went for a drive out of town to help clear their heads and see new things . That did help Brian a lot . In his senior years he liked peaceful adventures . At one point Wendy asked him " After we 're married will I be known as Mrs . Three Toes ? " Brian laughed . " If you wish . But if we go back to visit , Chief Running Bear may give you a new name also . " " Oh I would like to see them again . That was a fascinating place . It would be Christy 's third visit there , or her fourth ? " " Third , I think . " Brian thought about the portrait she drew of Running Bear and how much he seemed to like it . He hoped that Christy was getting a lot of drawing done where she was , That evening he let Wendy read the two pages he had written of his new story . She read through them carefully and said " It 's a beautiful metaphor , it seems a pathway to understanding realities . " Sunday was the Romero 's day off . They spent much of it in church So Brian and Wendy played in the kitchen making breakfast and lunch and dinner , in between splashing in the pool and making love . Monday morning Wendy was up and off to work early . Brian went back to work on his story of Crystal , the angel of the ice , the mirror in which he would see realities behind the unrealities . In the afternoon mail there was a summons from the Family Court of Los Angeles to appear for a hearing on Thursday morning at 9 a . m . So it 's going to happen , he was pleased to see . He wondered if Christy would be there . I suppose so , he thought . I hope so . Later on Wendy called to say that she had also been summoned , and that so had Christy , Mother Magda and associates . She also said that the judge , Agnes Weinstein , was a good , compassionate woman , unlike some of the Family Court judges whoPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 22Friday morning Wendy called to say that Tom Wong was successful in getting a hearing for the following week . It was to be on Thursday . Brian was disturbed that it was going to take almost a week before anything was decided , but he knew that these things could be adjourned for months so he remained hopeful . Wendy also said that she would be over after work to spend the weekend . And that pleased Brian very much . She arrived at about 6 : 30 with a suitcase . " Are you moving in ? " he asked . " Almost . Just a few weekend things to hang in your closet . " And with that she headed for the bedroom . Brian felt a mixture of apprehension and delight . It had been many decades since he had women 's clothes in his closet . Something about that made him realize that this was getting serious . He wondered , after all these , years what it was going to be like for him to be a married man once again . Of course he was a much different kind of man now , and Wendy was definitely a much different kind of woman than Cindy . I think I 'm going to like it , he thought . Among the items Wendy brought was a swim suit . So he put on his and they headed for the pool . When Brian bought the house the pool was decorated with an awful , poorly painted array of blue , pink and yellow fish . When he was in the water they seemed to be moving back and forth . It was ghastly and gave him the creeps . So he had it scraped and painted black . Now the accent was on the water . It was much nicer . They dove in and swam back and forth for a while . Brian was showing off as if he needed to . Soon they became like children splashing each other in the face or diving down and pulling each other under by the ankles . Brian was feeling light hearted for the first time in many days . When they tired they came out of the pool and sat on the bench while Brian had a cigarette . As he was staring at the water slowly massaging itself back to calm he said " Christy asked me to teach her how to swim . I hope I get a chance to do that . " " You will . Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 21Talk to the wolves . Nothing is hopeless I guess , thought Brian . Even if you 're in a fog and don 't know what you 're doing , even if faced with life threatening danger , there is hope . Christy taught him that . Or rather she reminded him of that . Never give up . That was the rule of life . Brian went back to typing the story of " Crystal . " This was not about rolling down a mountainside or chewing on bark . This was about a real life . Slowly his fingers found the words to tell about knowing , about standing with trust and innocence against the irrational forces of the world , about looking danger calmly in the face and turning it into advantage , about translating hallucinations into realities and about finding the right road in life without the benefit of sign posts . This was Crystal , the ice angel who appeared out of nowhere and yet is always present to those who seek her . Brian 's phone rang . It was a friendly voice . " Well , hello Fred . How 's it going up there ? . . . . Uh huh … . Yes ? . . . . Oh , well , that 's great . Is Father Portera pleased ? . . . . Glad to hear it … . Now when is it going to be up and operating ? Now is the furnace in a good location , where it 's easy to get to and yet won 't stink up the place ? . . . . Ah ha ! Good idea … . Do you need me to send you any dough ? . . . . Well , you let me know , okay ? Oh well . Good and bad … . Mainly about Christy … . Yes she is but I don 't like the place … . I don 't know , they wouldn 't let me in … . I know … . Well , I 've been told that once they go there they don 't leave , not even to be adopted … . . You have to make an appointment , and it costs a thousand bucks to pay a visit … . Well , that 's how they make their money , I was told . We 're working on it . By the way , you remember Wendy , my lawyer ? . . . . Well , she 's soon going to be my wife … . That 's right … . We don 't know yet , we 're working on it … . We want Christy there when we do it , so we 're hoping to get that settled first … . Sure , Fred , I will definitely let you know … . PleaPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 20 But for now his task was to try describing this girl who emerged from the snow one day as some winter ice angel , helpless but courageous , innocent yet resourceful with hope and faith while standing up against all the destructive forces of the world . He named her Crystal . His fingers were not flying now , as the usually do , across the keyboard , but were carefully picking from his mind the exact words to narrate a mystical tale of a heroic child . Each word seemed to be an integer in a vast equation , one which would define the landscape and horizon of existence . This was no film script or biography . Nor was it the summation of survival from a life threatening situation . It was a blessed opening of a door into actual life through the impulse and guidance of his creative ability as an artist to uncover the hidden truth of what happens when we say yes to life . This was a healing of the pain by denouncing it 's reality . Instead of carrying her to safety through the sleet , he was now carrying in his mind the real life of a magical child into the safety of words the world must read . He knew he was writing about a child , the only child in his life , a child he may never see again . It was hard and painful . Bur Brian once said " We are the only two people in this frozen universe . I am now all the wise old men in the world and she is all the young innocent girls in the world and it is my responsibility to see that she survives . " And " I will keep going and see her to safety and stay alive until I do it . Then he said softly , " Christy , we 're gonna make it . " There was much to do , much to learn , much to be written and still much life to be lived . He returned to the keyboard , a deep sea fisherman , casting his net and hoping for the right ideas to visit him . That afternoon Wendy called to say that it looked good for a hearing to determine adopting Christy . The judge seemed disposed to at least hear what the parties had to say about it . What it needs now is a court date and TPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 19 All day the rain kept drumming against the windows like impatient fingers . Brian tried to pass the time without thinking too much about the problems . He was smoking too many cigarettes , the result of frustration , anxiety and delay . Finally he sat down at the computer and started writing another story , another film script , perhaps . It was about a small town in the west . Another Western , he thought , with a smile . Is Hollywood ready for another Western ? With Navajo , bison and an Irish tavern keeper ? Why not ? So he typed away , fully engrossed in recreating a priest , a Navajo chief , a half breed mechanic , a Mexican doctor , an ebullient Irish lady , a newspaper editor , a surly waitress and some " troll brains . " Brian was generally happy doing only two things : swimming and writing . He sometimes thought back to his life as an actor , a director and then a playwright . But he didn 't like to . There were too many bad memories . He wished to look forward . Even at 70 he felt there was much good future to be had for him and now for Wendy , and , of course , for Christine . Thinking about her twisted his stomach again , so he went back to the keyboard and concentrated on fashioning a tale from his memory and his imagination about a town he thought he once knew and how to make a film about it . Certain details from his memory seemed to be slipping away , pushed out of importance by events that demanded attention and focus . Things became more important than people . Why was losing two toes a bigger deal than the kindness and humor of those involved , or the brutality of strangers ? Brian had never known people like those in Buffalo Gap , and they , in turn , were not impressed that he was famous in Hollywood . He and Christy had been accepted for their courage in making it through the terrible wilderness and for no other reasons . But then they were embraced for being who they are , for the people they are . Things were not stacking up right in his head . If it was going to be a Western it had to fPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 18 Brian spent the rest of the day trying to keep his mind off his troubles . He read , went for a walk , went for a swim , took a nap , had some dinner , watched some DVDs and finally retired for the night . The next morning there was a rare rain storm and it exactly matched Brian 's mood . There is nothing to be done in a warm rain but watch and listen . So that 's what he did . The watching was internal , mostly , the listening was musical . The rapid fugue of raindrops on the window relaxed him and made him think that Christy was listening to the same patter and watching the rain from a window somewhere . At mid - day Wendy called and said that Tom Wong was looking into the possibility of challenging Saint Jane 's policy of not allowing their girls to be adopted . She said that one of his Associates found a case back in the 19th Century where a similar establishment for homeless boys was not allowing adoptions and a court overruled their charter . Right then he was feeling things out but if it turned out to be a viable action he would twist some arms to get a hearing on the matter next week . " Ask Tom to talk to Myron Bloom . I know they don 't particularly like each other , but since they are both on the same war path , maybe they can cooperate on this one . " " Okay . Why ? ' ' " If this is going into court it probably won 't be a good idea to have any advanced publicity about it . If there is something wrong there it might tip them off . " " And if there isn 't ? " " Then it wouldn 't matter . But something tells me it is better to be safe … . " " Then sorry . I 'll tell you truly Brian , I have the same feeling . I 'll talk to him right now . " " Thank you . I love you . " " Love you right back . " After he hung up Brian had a sense of relief . He hadn 't realized it but that was something that had been bothering him . Bloom was a powerful man in Hollywood and he knew that Lester Lynx was also . If they wanted to start any sort of publicity campaign about Christy it wouldPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 17 For now Brian felt encouraged and a little bit relieved . Saint Jane 's was such an unpleasant experience for him when he was there that he didn 't really want to go back and both Wong and Bloom were interested enough in the dilemma about Christy that he felt things were progressing well . Brain was thinking about Wendy and was looking forward very much to seeing her on the weekend . He was puzzled with himself Why after all these years he even contemplated getting married again was a mystery to him . And then to actually go ahead and propose surprised him . It seems that it surprised him more than it did Wendy . But he did it , and she accepted , so it was going to happen . He again wished very much that Christy could be there when they actually tied the knot . Getting Christy back into his life was now becoming an obsession . He plainly could not think of his life without her . The child he never had , the family he never had . It was finally within reach after all these years . He gladdened himself by thinking of the possibilities . But the difficulty of attaining them kept creeping up from his gut and caused him a lot of pain . From the crash of the plane , to the hard trudge through the wilderness , to carrying her to safety , to being with her as a protector , father and friend through those days in Buffalo Gap it was hard to believe that all that tillage and planting would not reap the joys of companionship and love . He wanted to go to Saint Jane 's , break down doors , grab her and take her away , but he felt powerless to do anything , like a fish on the beach next to the shore line who couldn 't squirm enough to get back into the water . His only hope besides the wisdom and warm support of Wendy was that Tom Wong and Myron Bloom wouldn 't lose interest in the problem and would follow it through to whatever complicated end would be the result . Brian didn 't realize it at the time but there was a third , shadowy figure who was also interested in the case . They would soon meet . AgaPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 16 " Hello Sister Magda … . . Pardon me , MOTHER Magda . This is … . Yes , I realize that now . This is Brain Sims . I brought the girl Christine Flynn to your home a few days ago … . That 's right … . At last , yes , but I think I told you about the difficulties we encountered trying to get her there … . Well … . I know … . I know it … . Well I should hope not … . So that part of it is settled then ? . . . . Good … . Now the reason I 'm calling is that when I brought her in I wanted to see her to make sure she was settled in and had everything she needs … . So I was told … . But the sister at the desk would not let me make sure so I … . That 's what she told me . So I made a reservation to see her a few weeks from then … . Yes … . . Okay … . " There was a pause while Mother Magda checked the records . . … . " Yes , that 's right … . Well I 'm calling to cancel it … . That 's right … . Well , I don 't … . I don 't care that you don 't like it , I 'm … . . No , I just … . Well , I 'm sorry Mother Magda but I 'm unable to keep the appointment … . There are personal reasons … . I 'll call and make another one … . No I can 't change it today … . Because I don 't know when … . Maybe so , but in my case I just don 't know … . No I don 't want to see another girl , it 's Christy I want to see … . What does that mean ? . . . . Well I 'm glad of that , I think … But … . No … . There 's no point in doing that because I 'm just not going to show up then . So please remove my appointment from your books … . Well that can 't be helped , I suppose … . No … . Of course not … . If that 's the way it has to be then so be it … . Mother Magda , I went through a great deal of trouble to bring her there and I 'm not happy that I couldn 't get to see her right away , so since you don 't seem to be thankful for my efforts I 'm not too inclined to be all that cooperative with you , you understand ? . . . . All right then please cancel my reservation … . Thank you . " He hung up . Mother Magda reminded Brian of that encyclopedia salesman who onPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 15 " What 's going to happen ? " asked Brian . " I 'll know more after I talk to Lester and this Werbler woman . " " I don 't want Christy 's name dragged through the mud . " " Don 't worry , Brian , if there 's any mud slung it will go in the opposite direction . Trust me . " " She 's a sweet , innocent kid . " " Trust me ? " " Okay . " Brian left Bloom 's office and went home . Back home Brian was feeling encouraged . He went for a swim and awaited Wendy 's call . Sitting on the bench beside the pool he remembered Christy asking him to teach her to swim . He remembered teaching Louise to swim . Some days all he wanted to do was swim . He felt at home in the water , relaxed and clean . It was the therapy he needed to clean himself from the dirt and sweat of Hollywood . He wondered if he would have had a happier life if he had stayed in Dorado and just done theatre . He sometimes wished he could go back to Waynesboro where he grew up , be with friends , go into his father 's insurance business and never venture into the rocky world of films . No use thinking about those things now but it was a brief vacation of the mind from the doubts and fears he felt about himself , Christy , Wendy and his newest script . When Wendy called he told her about what had happened in Bloom 's office , about the photograph and that he didn 't know what was going to happen but that Bloom seemed to have taken charge of the situation . He mentioned the appointments with Lester Lynx and someone from People Talk . Wendy said she would check things out with Tom Wong but she said that if there was going to be publicity it would be a good idea if he canceled that appointment at Jane 's . When he asked her why she said she wasn 't sure but that it was her intuition . Brian had long ago learned to trust women 's intuition . He trusted Christy 's intuition back in the wilderness when she chose which direction to walk in . And she had been right . Still he was crushed at the idea of not seeing Christy agaiPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 14 For the next two days Brian busied himself with fixing little details of the script , with phone calls back and forth to Simon LeGree ) Le Groh . It was hard to concentrate because Christy was always in his thoughts . Wendy was busy with her court case . She called Brian every evening but stayed in her apartment so she could be up and out early . Days dragged by and there was no word from or about Christy . Then , on the third day , the mail brought a letter from Mike Wyman of Buffalo Gap and another from Lydia Collins . Brian quickly opened the letters hoping they would have the pictures , which they did . The picture from the Gap was the one he remembered , but it was the two of them standing close together with his arm around her . The other picture was just of Christy , taken at a Christmas party . There was a tree in the background , but otherwise it was a nice simple photo of Christy 's pretty face and a smile , but she had a slightly melancholy look on her face . Brian quickly called Bloom 's office to see if he was there . Then he got Juan to drive him over there with the photos . Myron was on the phone but waved Brain in . Brian sat down and listened to Myron wheel and deal . Just at the moment when the deal was off , whatever the deal was , Myron slipped in another suggestion as if it had been brought up before and rejected . That apparently clinched the deal . He hung up the phone and said " The secret is to make them think it 's their idea , then they go fir it . What have you got ? " Brian handed the two pictures to Myron , with the one from the paper on top . Myron looked at and frowned . Then he looked at the second picture , the Christmas shot and , without giving it a second glance , he said " That 's it . " He picked up his phone and said " Beatrice , would you please call the Art Department and have them send up a photographer right away , please . Thank you . " " The folks in Connecticut will want that picture back . It 's from their Christmas album . Is that okay ? " " Why Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 13 At his next meeting with Myron Bloom the revised script was approved and the cast was decided upon , with a back up cast if necessary . Myron then placed the project in the hands of an assistant . As he was still busy with the final part of the SAG negotiations he didn 't have much more to say to Brian . So Brian left the office satisfied that he was still employed and more fame and money would be coming in . He should be very pleased about that but there was a big hole in his heart . Back home he wanted to take a swim . But he just sat by the pool staring into the water . He felt very much alone and vulnerable . Wendy was busy with her court case , Christy was gone , maybe for good , and there was no way of contacting her . Louise and Jason had gone back home . And now he had nothing to do . Start another project ? Clean up his desk ? Call someone ? He was too depressed to think about any of those things . Instead , he went to his computer and wrote a letter . Dear Christy I miss you very much . Not having you around here has me feeling very lonely and depressed . I am so sorry I made you go to that place . From the outside it doesn 't seem like such a nice place to be . I hope it 's better on the inside and that you are happy there . I assume you are making new friends and getting used to the people . Wendy and I followed you there and we wanted to see that you were in and comfortable but the nun at the desk wouldn 't let us see you . I had to make a reservation . It 's not for several weeks . That 's the earliest she would give me . I tried calling you on your cell phone but I couldn 't get through to you . Is there something wrong with it ? Please ask them when you can come and visit us . Wendy and I are getting married . I know that pleases you . And , of course , we want you to be at the wedding . You can be a bridesmaid . You 'll be a very pretty one . The studio accepted my script and it 's going into production . That 's good for me , but it means I 'll be busy making adjustments to it aPosted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 12There was a 30 minute argument about who should star in Brian 's film and what the title should be . Brian wanted it to be called Courage Underground . Myron preferred Tunnel of Passion . At the end of the session nothing was accomplished except that Brian had a headache . They agreed to meet again the next day which would give Myron a chance to read the revised script and to perhaps find something to help fix the Christy situation . When Brian got back home he was tired and felt weak . He wanted to go for another swim , to wash off Hollywood , but instead he just lay down to take a nap . He dreamed of giving a speech to a large group of people and noticing that Christy wasn 't among them . He left the auditorium where he had been speaking and wandered outside looking for her . He thought he saw her in the distance and called her name . She turned . He waved . But she didn 't wave back . Instead she turned and walked away from him . He awoke later , in time for dinner , and when he went downstairs to the dining room Juan came in to say something . " Yes , Juan , " " That place is a no good place . " " What place ? " " That place where the little girl went . " " I got that same impression of it , Juan . Do you know anything about it . ? " " I asked around . " " Yes ? " " Girls go there and they don 't come out . " " They don 't come out ? " " No , sir . " " Are you sure about this ? " " I asked around . " " And someone told you this ? " " Yes , sir . " " You mean even after they 've grown , they still stay there ? " " I don 't know , but no one knows any girl who was there . " " Maybe they stay and become nuns . " " I don 't know , sir . " " Well , thank you , Juan . If you hear any more will you let me know ? " " Of course , sir . " Juan left the room and now Brian was perplexed . If they never left there , what happened to them . They must go somewhere or the place would be filled with older women hanging around . Saint Jane 's was getting stranger by the day . . ( To be continued . ) Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 11 Myron opened his desk drawer , took out a pad of paper , closed the drawer and unscrewed the top of his big fountain pen , fastening it to the back end . " Now " he said " what 's the name of this place ? " Brian gave him the name , address and phone number of Jane 's Home For Girls . Then Myron asked " What 's the girl 's name ? " " Christine Flynn . " " Do you have a picture ? " " No . " " Too bad . I need a picture . " " There was one in the local paper , but it was the two of us together after we got to that small town . " " Can you get a copy of it ? Maybe we can crop it . " " Let me call the paper and see . I can also call her aunt in Connecticut ; maybe they still have a picture of her " " Do that . " Brian first called Aunt Lydia in Hartford because it was already getting to be evening out there . He didn 't want to tell her his opinion about Saint Jane 's . He felt it would upset her , so he just said that Christy was there and settled . Then he asked about the picture . At first Lydia wasn 't sure they had one but she went and asked Uncle Sy . When she came back to the phone she said they had one from the Christmas album . She was reluctant to part with it but Brian convinced her it was for a good reason . So she agreed to send it right away . She took down his address . Then Brian called Peter Straw at the Gap . Pete said that they had a pictures but only of the two of them together , But he agreed to send it . All the while Brain was on the phon Myron was making notes on his pad . Then he picked up the phone and pushed a button . " Beatrice would you please cal Lester Linx and see if we can have an appointment in the next couple of days , and also call What 's - his - name at People Talk , and tell him I will have a story for him in the next few days . " He put down the phone and said " By the time I 'm finished with this your young friend is going to be famous . " " Really ? Why ? " " Because I 'm interested . An orphanage that won 't allow adoption ? There Posted by pen Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 10 " That doesn 't sound good " said Brian . " No , but Tom has looked at those before . " " What should we do ? " " Well " said Wendy " I 'm going over to my office to see what 's going on . I still have to make a living . While I 'm there I 'll get a marriage license in the works and call my friend Judge Parks to set it up . Unless you want to take the day off and run over to Nevada to do it . " " No , that 's okay , I 'll take it as it comes . " " You sure ? We could hire an Elvis Presley interpreter . " " Sounds like fun , but let 's stay here . " " Okay . What are you going to do ? " " I have to finish this script and take it over to Silverstone to talk about it . I have a couple of stars in mind for it . The choice is ultimately up to Myron Bloom , but at least I can discuss it with him . After a nice warm kiss and an affection goodbye - for - now , Wendy went off to her law firm . Brian went to his computer , read through the script again , made a few minor changes , emailed it to Silverstone Studios with an FYI for Myron Bloom , and then printed out two copies . He called Bloom 's secretary to find out when he would be there . Brian had some lunch and that afternoon went over to Silverstone and when he got to Bloom 's office the secretary told him to go right on in . When he opened the door Myron leaned back in his chair and said " Well , ' The Iceman Cometh , ' at last . " Hello Myron . " Myron Bloom was a man in his 50s , bald , wearing sunglasses , in his shirtsleeves and smoking a pipe . He was a very successful Hollywood motion picture producer . He had an amazing knack for finding talent , and he knew it . He was a tough boss , rough on the lazy and a rewarder of the hard working . He was a difficult man but everyone who worked for him trusted him . " What took you so long ? " Brian again explained about the experience in Buffalo Gap , the amputation of his toes , the hearing about whether he was really on board the plane , how it was resolved and then getting Christy into Posted by Brian and ChristineBook ThreeSaint Jane ' sPart 9 " What was the question ? " I said will you marry me . " ' That 's what I thought you said . " " Well , will you ? " " Why ? " " I like your style . " " And I like yours . No getting dressed up , no bouquet , no diamond ring , no getting on your knees , just a simple question . Well , a simple question deserves a simple answer and the answer is " yes . " " Whew ! " Brian said . Wendy laughed . " What did you think I was going to say ? " " Just what you said . But I 've only done that once before and that was a long time ago so I 'm rusty at it . Besides it 's always scary for the guy . " " Why ? " " I don 't know . " " When should we do it ? " " As soon as possible I think . " " I know a judge who will do it quickly . I can take care of the paper work . " " Good . " " When can we tell people ? " " Well , I have to tell the Romeros right away because I asked her what she thought about it the other day and she approved . Besides . They 're very religious and don 't like me sleeping with strange women . " " How many strange women have you been sleeping with ? " : " None . " " Christy will be delighted if we could only get in touch with her . " " I tried again this morning , the phone is still dead . " " Later on we 'll call Tom and see what he says . " " Okay . " They went in for breakfast and Mrs . Romero was there with a serious look on her face . Brian said " Mrs . Romero , she said yes . " She drew her palms together and smiled a big smile . " Oh , I 'm so glad . So happy . That 's so good . I 'm glad . Wait , I tell Juan . Juan … . " She was calling into another room . A moment later Juan appeared and said " Congratulations Mr . Sims , Miss Klein . My wife and I are happy for you . We 're so glad . " " Thank you Mr . Romero " said Brian . " When will you do this ? " asked Mrs . Romero . " We don 't know yet , but it will be soon . We will certainly tell you . " " Thank you , sir . " " The Romeros went back into the kitchen with big smiles on their faces . Later that morning Wendy called Tom WoPosted by I am an actor and broadcaster . I am grateful to have spent my life in the arts . Now I also write and paint . I am humbly trying to overcome selfishness , it 's effects and regrets . I read history , philosophy , psychology and religion . My desire is to share what I have with the world while trying to make sense of a difficult life and enjoying the journey , no rituals , no rules , no summations . |
" Logan , come on . Hurry up . We are going to be late . " A voice in the darkness hissed . Of course they wouldn 't be late , they still had 6 hours of nighttime , but she would rather get on with it and get it out of the way so that she could sleep . " Okay … won 't be late , but just still hurry up . The guy isn 't supposed to take longer to get ready than the girl . " The voice spoke up again , the wood of the support beam that held up the tent , creaking as the body moved from the doorway into the tent to make sure that the man she was talking to was even awake . The brown haired , green eyed girl , though it was hard to see in the dark , walked over to the bed that was at the far side of the tent and peered down to see if a figure was there . Dressed in all black , with a hood and mask to complete the ensemble she even had a few sheaths hanging at her side . She looked like she was about ready to go out on a raid , which was partially true . Except this girl was an assassin . Her job was to go out and kill high end targets that would then turn into cash for them from some higher power . " You had better not be asleep . " Markie Cane muttered , reaching down into the bed . " I 'm tired . I did my set late tonight . I want to sleep . " By day the two of them were with a traveling circus . Markie was close with the Ringleader and was able to always get them close to their destination for their next target and this time she had been lucky enough to land them in the same town as they needed to be so they time to do this right . " Come on , you big lump . " Markie pushed the blankets around searching for her partner . Markie sighed softly and turned to look around . Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and now she could see inside of his tent a bit better . He had his own which made getting him up on their assassin nights easier to do so . " Logan , " she whispered into the darkness to even see if he was around . The two had been together since they were young teenagers ( who were now in their young 20s ) , having trained together so that way they could be the best pair of assassins that they could be . She knew him and he knew her and that always caused conflict . Such as right now , when Markie was trying to find him and he was nowhere to be found . Hopefully he wasn 't with one of the girls … she had been there and done that and it had not been pretty . " Please … do not be where I think you are . " She talked to herself as she turned to the bed one more time to see if he was curled up somewhere just out of her reach . The young man strolled naturally between the tents , ignoring the sounds coming from them . Occasionally , he would hear snippets of a conversation , a moan of ecstasy , or even a gasp as some someone realized that Logan walked among them again , just beyond the tent . To an outsider , Logan would be rather unassuming . He had dull black hair and olive skin , his eyes the color of charcoal . He wasn 't that big , either , and that made it easy to slip in and out of crowds . All in all , he looked like a typical circus preformer , and would be ignored by most people . When he was a child , that happened even more often , being seen as nothing more than a Spanish , or maybe Italian or Greek , boy who had no use anywhere else so her joined the circus . That wasn 't the case , of course , but he wasn 't going to take the time to correct them . As he was walking to his own tent , he realized that his collar was glowing . As part of the aftershow events , one of the girls had worn full body glow - in - the - dark makeup , including her lips , which had been nearly all over him after a few nicely placed words came from Logan 's mouth . He hadn 't done more than kiss her , though , wanting to be able to start over in the morning , a new day , a new girl and that . But now , Logan 's collar , and various other places on his clothes and skin , where glowing a green color , in the perfect shape of lips . Frowning at that , but knowing that Markie would be even more angry should he keep her waiting longer , he kept walking . Soon , he was stepping inside his tent , almost immediately seeing her standing over his bed . " If you wanted me that badly , " he said sarcastically , " then why didn 't you do it while we were together ? " Grinning at her , he said , " Let 's do this thing . Where 're we going , who 're we killing ? " Markie turned around and saw immediately where he was standing because of his glowing . . . lip outlines . " I should kill you myself but you would know how to beat me . " Markie growled and walked over to him . She slapped the piece of paper , a rather forcefully , on his chest that held the information for their target . " I 'm sure you remember how to read . I 'll meet you at the horses . " Markie tugged on his collar , pulling him in close . " I can 't believe you . " Then she pushed him away and left his tent with a sigh . Out of the two she was the more forceful one that would take charge and was glad to do it . In their relationship she wore the entire pants and he was simply in her front pocket . She weaved through the tents , ignoring the sounds that came from them . The circus was so close and there seemed to be no care about privacy unless it involved Markie and Logan . They were the two outcasts of the group , having only recently ( within the last two years ) joined . But they were good at what they did . Markie was a tight rope walker and also one of the animal controllers . At the corral , Markie grabbed their two horses and led them out . She had saddled them earlier before going to look for Logan so they were both ready . Now she just had to wait on the slow moves of Logan . " I don 't know what I am going to do with him . " " She was pretty ! " Logan called after Markie as she was leaving . Letting out a breath after she was gone , he took the paper outside , looking it over in what little light there was . It seemed simple enough , and as soon as he had read it , Logan was heading towards the horses , trying to rub off some of the glowing makeup from his face and neck . However , all he managed to do was rub it around , and he ended up with glowing green streaks . Frowning , he sighed , thinking of how he 'd hurt Markie . He could tell that each time he did that it hurt her , on some level , but he couldn 't help it . When he came upon the corral , he found Marckie . " Hey , " he greeted her , a smile coming to his face . " Ready to do this thing ? " Smoothing out his clothes from where the girl had been grabbing them , he made sure he looked somewhat normal , besides the glowing parts . " I . . . should probably go wash this off . . . " Walking to a water pump on the far side of the corral , he pumped some water into his hands . Rubbing the water into the places where he had glowing lipstick , he tried to get most of it off , and succeeded , for the most part . He even got the makeup off his face , something he was glad for . Returning to the horses , he said , " Let 's go . " Markie looked over at Logan with slightly narrowed eyes when he came over . He still had the glowing lipstick on her and now it was just starting to piss her off . It wasn 't that she was mad he had been with another woman . She didn 't like him that way . . . . at least she didn 't think that she did . It was just the fact that he was fraternizing with other people when they had a job to do . Any other night and Markie would have slept soundly . " I just don 't see why you can 't focus on the task ahead . " Markie told him , throwing the reins of his horse to him . Even if he didn 't catch them , the horses stayed right where they were . Even as animals they seemed to know that they were an important part of going places and they always stayed quiet . " I mean while you were busy making out with that girl , I was out here getting them ready . Thanks for your help . " Markie climbed up onto the saddle and stared down at him . " I don 't even know why I bother to argue with you . Let 's go . I want to sleep tonight . " Markie muttered , taking off at a nice pace . " Look , " Logan said . " I 'm sorry . Okay ? I forgot about the job tonight , and it wasn 't until we were already making out that I remembered , and then she had already decided that she really liked me . It took me like thirty minutes to get her off me . " What he didn 't add was that he had like her glowing kisses . He 'd have to find her after their mission , if she was still awake . Swinging into the saddle of his horse , he had to spur his horse with his heels to catch up with Markie . " Look , I got the makeup off me . . . be glad for that , ' cause I 'd be a beacon with them . And she was just a one - time gig . She just preformed tonight , tomorrow she 'll be gone . " Hopefully , a voice in his head added . " I 'm not jealous of her . " Markie added , far to quickly for her tastes . She looked over at him and stared . " There is nothing to be jealous about . " She even said that with a straight face . " If you wouldn 't have gotten the makeup off , I wouldn 't have taken you with me and they would be hearing about it . I just can 't believe that you forgot . We don 't do this for fun . " Markie told him with a light glare . She had heard rumors of what happened to assassins when they didn 't do their missions and none of them had sounded pretty . She liked her head , tongue and body parts where they were supposed to be . " You 've heard the rumors as well as I have . I don 't want to end up a mute for the rest of my life . . . or worse being dead , thank you very much . " Markie turned forward again and pulled her black horse to a slow as they came up onto the town where their target was hopefully asleep . " According to the map , he is in the center of town . So we have to make sure that we do this quiet because if we raise the alarm getting out will be impossible . " As they moved from dirt to cobblestone , the sound of the hooves was muffled by the wrappings that Markie had done around all the hooves of their horses to keep their presence quiet as they moved through the dimly lit streets . Inside of the town there was a large fountain that was turned off for the night and behind it sat the biggest house of the entire town . " Obviously that is where we go . " Markie whispered and slipped off her horse , letting the mare drink from the water of the fountain so that she would be ready to ride quickly back to their caravan . While the mare drank , Markie canvased the entrances and exits . " Inside there are two guards who guard each floor . " Markie added , looking over at Logan . " Soo . . . " Logan said , pretending to think . " We just go in through a window , kill the guards , then kill our man , right ? " he asked . Logan was the sort who preferred to cut all loose ends , and he didn 't want the guards to accidentally find them . " Simple , efficient , quick plan , right ? " Though she would probably call it selfishness , Logan was doing it for her . He knew how she loved her sleep , and decided that he would do his best so that she could get to sleep . Besides that , if they killed all those in the house , he could sleep in a real bed that night . Not on the bedroll that he slept on in his tent , but a real bed with soft pillows and blankets . Just the thought was enough to make him pining for it . " Does our man have family . . . ? " he asked . He 'd never been good at killing women and children . Maybe it was because he could still actually remember his mother and his younger brother , from before he had been taken into his apprenticeship and induction into the assassins group . Markie looked over at him . While he preferred to get in and get out , she was the exact opposite . No unnecessary killing . She had lost her family to unnecessary killing and she had vowed that she wouldn 't be that way unless the plan absolutely called for it . " Yes he does and he sleeps in the same bedroom as his wife so that means that we have to make sure we don 't disturb her . I brought some sleeping powder just in case though . " Markie pulled the bottle out of her front pocket . The white substance looked like flour , but when thrown onto someones face they would instantly fall asleep and sleep for a minimum of 8 hours . Handy when they needed someone like a wife to stay asleep . " Let 's just go through the window and see where the guard is . You know I feel about senseless killing . Maybe the guard has a family too . " Markie murmured and left the mare there . She wouldn 't leave . Just as the assassins were trained , the horses were trained to stay where their master left them . " Come on . We are going to have to do some climbing . He lives on the second floor , but we are going to have to find an open window . I doubt that he leaves his open . " Logan cursed audibly as she relayed to him the information concerning the target 's wife . " Fine , fine , " he eventually consented , deciding that he would try to have decent morals for the night . Only kill the target , no one else if you can help it . Walking around the house towards the back , to where it would be less dangerous to sneak in from , he tried the windows , even using his knife to try to pry one or two open . A couple times , he had to duck beneath the windowsill , seeing one of the guards walking past . One of those times , he nearly got caught , and the guard opened the window , peering out into the darkness . But he didn 't look down , something that Logan was glad for . Heart still pounding from that ordeal , he finally found a window he could open . This time he didn 't even have to break a window to get in . If he did , then Markie probably would have gotten angry at him . Sliding into the house through the window , he made a signal to Markie before assuming a crouched position , thankful that he had washed the glowing makeup off of him before going on the mission . It was almost pitch black in this room , and he had to put his hands out to feel for anything so he wouldn 't make any noises . Markie let Logan do all of the searching for windows . He had better strength than she did when it came to climbing and hanging on things . She relied on brute strength if it came to fist fighting and she liked it better that way . On the signal to come up , she was able to climb up quickly and she slipped in next to him . She reached out and grabbed his arm to make sure that he hadn 't left her . Then she squeezed it three times . It was the signal that one would go left and one would go right . Since she was on the right , she would go that way . Her hands out in front of her , Markie moved slowly . She could hear the sound of breathing coming from what seemed to be the middle of the room . If only the moon had been shining more brightly tonight . She moved and finally found the bed . She was at the end and she reached out to see if Logan was there . She wasn 't exactly sure what side of the bed that their target slept on and so she wanted to be at the same pace as Logan because if she ended up on the wrong side then he wouldn 't have the sleeping potion for the wife . As he searched the room , he thought , I hope there 's not a dog in here . Sometimes , he knew , people would sleep with their pet rottweiler or pit bull , who would attack at the slightest sound . Logan didn 't need another dog on his list of those he had killed , nor did her want more scars from a dog 's bite . However , he thought he could only hear two people breathing . He and Markie had been trained to keep their breathing almost silent , so that no one could hear them . When he found the side of the bed , he followed it to one side before he reached a wall , and turned . As he followed the bed , he could hardly stop his heart from beating itself out of his chest . It sounded like it would wake the dead , and he was surprised when none of them did . Creeping down the other side of the bed , he soon caught up to Markie . He wished he could turn on a light , but that wouldn 't work at all . Frowning in the darkness , he wished that he could just kill both of them without feeling the guilt from it , but he knew that wouldn 't work either . ( ( I 've decided it is impossible to concentrate with your signature staring me in the face . It 's truly the creepiest thing I 've ever seen . . _ . ) ) Markie grabbed his hand and then pulled him in close . She grabbed his hand and turned it palm up and placed her fingers down in the shape of an " L " in his palm . It was meant to be a way to communicate in the dark and not have to say anything . It meant she was going to check the left side of the bed first to see where the wife and where their target was . With light touches , her other fingers just barely brushed over the bed . It was obvious who was where because the woman was much smaller compared to her husband and she was sleeping on the left . That was Markie 's side . When she brought her fingers back from the bed , she changed her hand from an " L " to spell out " O - K " in his hand with sign language . Then she moved away from him . Depending on where their target was , the partner who killed varied . She had taken the last two and now it was his turn . She would take care of the wife if she became a problem . Waiting , Markie already had the sleeping potion open . Because it took so long to get to them , she only used it when it was absolutely necessary . After recieving the signal , Logan moved towards the right side of the bed . Over and over in his mind , he said , ' Silent as the wind , silent as the wind ' . It was his mantra , and kept him focused on being quiet . Taking in a shuddery breath as the man shifted in his sleep , he counted to ten after the man had settled once more before moving once more . Reaching into his pocket , he drew out a piece of cloth , holding it over the sheath of his knife as he drew it out of it . It muffled the sound some , and he was extremely thankful that the man didn 't shift anymore . Getting up to his feet , he crouched over the man , holding his breath in order to not disturb the man . In one swift motion , he drew the blade of his knife over the soft skin of the man 's neck , biting in just enough that he would die in seconds . Pulling away almost immediately , he winced each time the man made a choking noise as he died , drowning in his own blood . Markie knew when Logan had made the move as the man began to choke . For a few moments the wife didn 't stir and Markie was hopeful that they had gotten a wife that could sleep through anything . Unfortunately that wasn 't the case and she woke up with a start when she heard her husband . Quickly , Markie reached out and grabbed the woman and pushed her back down before sprinkling some of the powder on her face . Some made its way into her mouth and she went back to sleep , but not before getting out a strangled cry . " Come on . " Markie hissed as she heard the guards moving around outside the door . She was quick to cap the powder and hurry back to the window . She frowned when she realized that they were going to be blocked by the two men who were outside . " Prepare for a fight . " Markie told Logan as the door flew open and the two men entered . Markie reached into her pocket and right as the light came on she threw a small throwing knife and it landed in the mans leg with a solid thud . He cried out and went down . The second man turned to the two assassins and pulled out a small pistol . " Crap . " Markie muttered as she dodged out of the way before he let off a shot . " I hate guns . " Drawing his other knife , not caring about making a racket or not , Logan ducked as he heard a gunshot . He didn 't hate guns as much as Markie did , but he didn 't like them all the same . Rolling forwards , he swiftly made an upwards cut at the guard shooting , feeling his knife cut through clothing and skin . As blood fell onto his hand , he spun away towards the window , gesturing for Markie to follow . " Leave them , let 's go ! " he shouted , throwing himself out the window . There was less than a second of freefall , before he hit the ground . Rolling with a grunt , he looked up , hoping that Markie got out . Though he wanted to be a true assassin that didn 't feel anything for other people , he couldn 't help but feel worried for her . Markie had been waiting to jump in if necessary to help Logan , but when he gestured for her to come , she followed . Halfway to the window the man she shot in the leg had managed to get up and tackled her . With a grunt she landed face first and it was rather painful on the rough wood floors . The scuffle didn 't last much longer than that though and Markie pushed the dead man off of her , a knife wound in his upper chest . She climbed out the window and landed beside Logan . " I think he broke my nose . Jerk . " Markie muttered , looking cross - eyed to see the damage . It was too dark though and she would just have to have Logan fix it as he had done many times before . " Come on . Before the alarm is . . . . " Now all the lights in the house were on and people were shouting . " raised . . . . " she finished with a frown . " This is why I hate wives . Men should just sleep on their own . We wouldn 't have a problem that way . " Markie began moving towards the horses who were already on high alert . Markie swung herself up onto the saddle and settled herself to let the dizzy wave pass . Oh yes she definitely broke her nose . . . again . Hopping onto his horse , he tried calming it . His horse had been startled by the loud noises and the smell of blood , and was slightly skittish as Logan moved his horse into the shadows of a dark alley . " Glad you got out of there , " he told Markie , grinning in her general direction . " Would 've been bad if you 'd died or gotten arrested . . . then I 'd be the only assassin in the area . And you know my work ethic . " He chuckled , but was trying to keep quiet . They reached the city 's edges without any trouble , and were soon riding back to the circus ' tents , the lights sent off from the torches making it easy to find them . " You think we 'll get in trouble for the mess up ? " he asked . " They 've probably figured it out that the man was killed and it wasn 't an accident or anything . . . do you think it was light enough to get a good look at our faces ? " He shivered at the thought . If an assassin was caught , they were silenced before they could spill any of the secrets they knew , usually by an assassin that they were close to . Logan could only ever hope that if it came to that , he wouldn 't have to kill Markie , and vice versa . " Unfortunately I know it too well . " Markie muttered , but not loud enough for him to hear . She was silent until he asked the question about if they were going to get in trouble . She hadn 't left any witnesses that would remember them and be able to identify them , but it had been sloppy . They would probably just get a written punishment instead of being summoned to the Assassins Court and being formally and physically punished . " I hope it 's just written . . . " Markie murmured as they rode out of the town . She was silent the rest of the way back and when they got back to the corral , she pulled Benekli to a halt . The mare snorted a few times and Markie slid off the spotted horse ( which is what her name stood for in Turkish which is where Markies paternal grandparents had come from ) and looked over at Logan . " I 'm going to need your help setting this . " Markie told him as she pulled off the saddles and gave the mare a snack for being such a good girl . After a nuzzle from the wet snout and a light brush , the horse was happy and ran around with the other animals . " I don 't have any more bandages though . Ran out . Had to help the stupid man who put his hand inside of the tigers cage and enticed it . I told him to not do that . Do they listen though ? " Markie rolled her eyes . Once back at the corral , Logan took off his horse 's saddle , all the while humming to himself . After feeding her an apple from his hand , he smiled at her , gently rubbing her neck . " Good , Jasmine , " he told her softly , running his hands through her hair . When she had run off , he sighed softly before turning to Markie . " I think I have some bandages at my tent . . . I hope that girl isn 't there , " He muttered that last part , hoping that Markie couldn 't hear him . Coming back with a different girl to find the one he had been kissing earlier waiting for him would be bad , and might cause a fight . " Let 's go , " he told her , gesturing . Once upon a time , he might have offered her a hand , or maybe placed his arm around her so she wouldn 't fall , but too much had happened , and it would only make things awkward , he decided . " C ' mon . " Iwaku is a roleplay community . We don 't just write stories - we live them ! 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Although Jack and I have not been going out together anymore we have been going out for long walks around the farm going through the woods , up and down hills and across a stream . It has been really fun and I got to say , this is one pretty farm ! Check out the video of me following Kyle down the bank back by the big pond that had a bunch of ducks on it ! I don 't know what Jackie is laughing at I think I stepped down it with more style than Kyle did . I hear we 're going to have a new red headed girl coming next week so we 'll be back up to 4 horses in our group again . It will be kind of nice not being the new one for a change . I don 't think she is going to be staying long , something about Kyle training her some . So far I think he 's a pretty good trainer . We got another vaccination with some plastic thing stuck up our nose and one more shot . I think we are done with that for awhile . I 'm happy to report that Jack learned his lesson from the last time and he was much better behaved . If he would just learn that it is easier to do it right the first time he would be a lot better off . That 's it for now . Sun was a great day ! I got to spend some time with two of my favorite girls . First I got to go for a walk with Jill . Since she hadn 't been out for a walk before I led the whole way except when we got to the stream . Kyle wanted to see how she would do by herself . I got to say I was impressed , she walked right through the stream . So I guess you 're not suppose to jump the whole thing ! So I walked through the stream too and it was much easier that way . We spent some time playing in the creek and munching some grass before heading back to the barn . When we got back to the barn Jill went in and I got turned out . I noticed that Laura was riding Kat in the dressage ring . I let out a whinny and ran down to join her but decided against it since I would have to pass near the big boys . I ran down several times and at the last minute ran away . Finally I got brave enough and went down and the big boys didn 't bother me at all ; they were too busy trying to find grass to munch on . Anyway when I got down there I just followed and followed Kat as she was being ridden . After all that running around I got a little warm so I had a great roll in the sand and another roll and another roll . Finally I decided that I would just eat grass instead of following Kat all of the time . When she was done I followed her over to the bank jump & I followed her up and down like I did with Jackie the other day . Kat & Laura tried to get me to go down the bank into the water but I wasn 't too sure about that but I did follow them into the other water jump . Then they tried to get me to follow them down the bank into the water jump again and this time I did it . That was fun ! ! The rest of the day I was out with the big boys and I 'm beginning to get use to it , but I still spend a lot of time hanging up around the barn by myself but closer to the girls . Yesterday was another good day as I got to go for a walk with Jill again . But before we got to go for a walk I had to learn another rule . Apparently it is not acceptable to get all excited when Jill leaves the barn before I do . Sorry , I just couldn 't help myself ! Anyway we had a nice walk and did a different bank jump . It was a little bigger than the one I had done before and I figured out that it was easier to jump up with my hind end rather than try to walk up one foot at a time . When we got back Jill went in the barn and I stayed out with the guys . I actually was looking for them in the pasture and when I located them I took a canter down to be with them . I guess they 're not so bad . At least out in the pasture when the make a face at me I have a We were way out in the back of the pasture when I noticed Jackie & Kyle coming down the hill with Pip ( my new friend ) and Margee . I could believe my good luck , I hadn 't seen Margee in quite awhile . So I started following her around like I did with Kat the other day , but when I got too close I was chased away by either Kyle or Jethro . That didn 't deter me , but I was a little more careful not to get too close . Then when Kyle rode Jethro I followed him around too . I 'm not sure why but I did . Wow , I can 't believe that it has been almost 10 days since we posted last . With the nicer weather everyone has been a little busier especially Jack . I kept hearing about Jack doing this and Jack doing that and it was getting a little annoying ; I could do all that stuff too if Kyle just had the time to do it . So last Sun I showed them all . I worked in the round pen with a saddle on while there were three ponies in the ring right next to the round pen without getting distracted . Well maybe a little but there were three of them and they didn 't look like any horses I had ever seen before . First of all they were all small and odd colors ; one was black and white , one had spots all over it ( I hear they call that one a POA , what does Ponies of America have to do with spots anyway ? ) and one chestnut pony with a pretty almost white mane and tail , I think they call that flaxen . Jack has never done that before . Then when we were done I followed Kyle up and down the bank jump and into the water jump and I did it three times and Jack only did it once ! So maybe Jack is getting more training time than me , but I don 't need it because I learn quicker and I don 't get worried like Jack sometimes does . The other day Jack laid down in his stall and rolled and rolled until he got cast . I couldn 't see what was going on but it sure was noisy . Jack & Jackie both seemed a little concerned and she was happy that Jack was able to take care of things on his own . I don 't think that would ever happen to me so because I 'm smart enough to roll in the middle of my stall . We all got something called coggins test the other day . I 'm not too sure what it 's for but I hear we need to have it done and then a couple of days later we got vaccinations to help keep us from getting sick . It wasn 't bad , just a prick and I was told I was a good girl . I don 't know what the deal was with Jack but things didn 't seem to go smoothly for the coggins test and things got down right ugly for his shot a couple of days later . Dr . Dave sounded really irritated and was making some comment about Jack being the instigator of our late night escapes and then said that Jack could go if he kept that up . Go , go where ? What did that have to do with getting a shot anyway ? I don 't know , but Jackie definitely wasn 't happy with that comment . Up until that morning we had always been very careful to be back in the pasture by morning and we only did it a few times . Unfortunately for us they came out to the barn earlier than usual that day and we were busted as we hadn 't snuck back in yet . That 's when I heard that since Jack was the instigator he had to learn to respect the fence and that he and I were not going to go out together anymore so we couldn 't get into trouble . I thought that last part was a little extreme but at least I got to stay with Kat & Margee . I do feel kind of sorry for Jack though . He doesn 't seem very happy being out with the big boys . Don 't tell him I said so , but I kind of miss him . On a brighter note ; our Jockey Club papers arrived in the mail today ! So it 's finally officially official if you know what I mean . I think Jill is a little jealous because she hasn 't been able to go for walks around the whole farm like me . It really is nice and I even got to go into the woods some more . I was much better about crossing the stream the second time and other than almost jumping on Jackie as I cleared the stream ; I was walking right up there next to her , not behind her like I usually do . We even practiced jogging in hand a little . She said that I need to do that for the Future Event Horse class in May . Since it is a class for future event horses I wonder if I get to show them how I can step right up and off the bank jump and go right into the water . Jackie said something about Lucinda being impressed . I guess she 's some famous event rider who comes here for clinics every year and she has horses practice walking up and down banks just like I did but with riders on them . I got to do the bank and the water jump again on Sun and it is a lot of fun . I don 't know what the big deal is . Since it was a nice day and all the big boys were out in the pasture Jackie turned me out with them for a couple of hours . It wasn 't bad until they all decided to come back up to eat at the round bale that things got uncomfortable . They still aren 't very nice to me and I decided the best thing to do would be to blast through the ribbon gate and just leave . Once I got out there all by myself I didn 't know what to do so I just ran and ran and suddenly it hit me , I 'm all by myself and I don 't know where I am . I managed to find my way back and just as Jackie was rounding the corner of the barn I ducked under the fence back into the pasture & she put be back in the barn . Whew ! ! Since I discovered that it was pretty easy to blast through the bottom ribbon and duck under the top one Jill and I snuck out a few nights while Jackie was out of town . Somehow Kyle knew we had gotten out . He said something about leaving evidence in the back yard . Anyway he put up metal gates and we stayed in until the other night and that was when we got busted . Then we had the disagreement about the shot and then I heard something about learning respect for the fence Somehow that fence that I usually just blast through zapped me when I put my nose on it . I jumped back and trotted away . I couldn 't believe what just happened so I thought I would check it out again and I got zapped again . I decided that I better just stay away from the fence but that apparently wasn 't good enough . Jill and I aren 't allowed to go out together anymore because we were getting into too much trouble together . Not good , not good at all . Thank goodness the training went well to save the day . Today is the second full day out with the big boys and things aren 't going much better . Pip will play with me a little , Gopher usually ignores me , Tintin sometimes chases me with his ears back and Jethro , well lets just say that Jethro is the boss for a reason . So I spend most of the time but myself and hanging around the barn in hopes that I can go back in . When the horses go out in the pasture I go over to the round bale and eat while I can . Laura came out to ride Kat & I just had to give her a little nicker when I saw her and then I stood on top of the hill and watched her as she was ridden . I can 't believe I miss that cute little mare . Jackie assures me that I will eventually make a friend or two and that things will get better when Jethro leaves in a couple of weeks . They say he 's going out for trial to see if someone wants to lease him . Here 's hoping that he won 't be coming back . Any way , the training was interesting today . Jackie used two lunge lines on me today . She called it long lining or something like that . At first it was a little confusing and I almost got tangled up a couple of times but then I got the hang of it and I was trotting around the round pen and changing direction at the trot and being told that I was a good boy . I like that ; ) I hope Jackie has time to take me for another long walk again ; I really enjoy those walks . Besides that ; it will get me away from the big boy for awhile . Jack Since Kyle is visiting a friend today Jackie decided to work with me to see if she could get me to ' join up ' better . We worked in the round pen for awhile and I guess I kind of did ' it ' but she made some comment about Jack being better at ' it ' than I am . Doesn 't she know that I 'm a strong independent young woman and Jack is , how should I say this . . . a little needy ? I mean come on , while I was working in the round pen I could hear him calling for me . If that isn 't needy I don 't know what is . Laura came down to ride Jethro as I was finishing up in the round pen so I got to hang out and watch him go . It was the first time that Laura every rode him and they looked pretty good to me , but what do I know ? Then we went back to the barn together , kind of , Jackie kept stopping me and telling me to quit stepping on the back of her boots . Picky , picky picky ; ) I enjoyed my day off but to make sure I got my grooming I rolled in the mud on both sides ! It worked , I got an extra long grooming yesterday . Jackie was right the day off to think about all that has been going on with my training lately and I think I 'm getting it where this training is concerned . I think I had my best day yet ! We always do something a little different along with a review of what we have already done . Today I got the saddle put on me before I was worked in the round pen . I walked all the way down the hill with the saddle on like a prefect gentleman ; no refusing to move , no trying to get ride of the saddle , and no calling . We only had to practice a little voice commands before I joined up . Jill has this all wrong , it 's part of being willing partners , it has nothing to do with being needy ! I was simply calling words of encouragement while she was working . Anyway after our short and sweet work in the round pen we went for a walk along the same route we did the other day but I was much more relaxed and really enjoyed myself . In fact I even got to stop at the water trough by the stabling barn and got a good long drink of water . All was going well until we took a left and headed up into the woods instead of taking a right and going back to the barn . The woods wasn 't so bad , it was the steep short hill through some really deep mud and over the stream that I could have done without . When we got there Jackie told me to wait until she got to the other side , something about not wanting me to jump on her and knocking her into the mud or the creek . I don 't know what she was worried about ; I had no intention of following her . Well Jackie was on one side of the creek and I was on the other , what was I to do ? I wanted to be with her and wanted to trust her , but I just wasn 't sure . I backed up and took out the slack of the lunge line and Jackie joked that she really didn 't want to cross the creek and the mud again . She told me to just come over it was no big deal . Since I didn 't plant all 4 and refuse to go like IWhen we were almost back to the barn I looked down the hill and saw Kat being ridden in the dressage ring and I couldn 't help myself , I had to give her a shout out . But that was the only time I opened my mouth the whole day ; much improved over the last time . One other thing I learned today ; I 'm suppose to keep walking while I 'm pooping . You 've got to be kidding , I 'd like to see her do that ! So rather than walk and poop ; I waited until she stopped for a break & then I took care of business . I did that twice . Pretty smart huh ? After a brief break from the training due to snow the training has continued . Jackie has had more time than Kyle so I have been worked in the round pen four times since the last post . The round pen work has gone well but there have been a few problems getting to the round pen . The next time we went to work in the round pen after a few days off we had to go through the paddock where the the big boys were eating hay & they all came over to visit . I decided that I wanted to stay with the guys and planted all fours and when Jackie put pressure on my nose for me to get a move on I stood and my back legs to show her I didn 't appreciate it . Well I forgot that was against the rules and I got a reprimand and when I refused to go forward again I was made to go backwards . I finally realized that it is better to just do what is expected of me and I walked down the rest of the way without further incident although I did call to the horses a few times . After working in the round pen for a little while I ' got it ' ; I did what they call ' joining up ' . I wanted to join Jackie and I would follower her wherever she went . When she stopped I stopped , when she turned I turned , when she backed up I backed up ; I just wanted to be with her . I 'm not exactly sure why , but it was pretty cool . When we were done we went for a walk in the pasture and it was nice just hanging out together . So the session ended on a really good note , so I thought . When we got back to the barn Jackie said if I wanted to hang out with the big boys so badly then she would give me my wish and she turned me out with the guys while all of my regular pasture mates were in the barn . Whoa baby , I really didn 't mean that I wanted turned loose with them and asked to go in the barn . Jackie laughed and said ' you asked for it , you got it ' and left me out with the big boys for a couple of hours . She kept checking on me and I kept asking to come in because the boys weren 't being very nice to me , especially that Jethro who kept reminding me that he was boss . Finally I got to go back in the barn with my friends . Whew , glad that was over . The next morning we were going to have another training session but this time I wouldn 't even leave the barn because Jethro was right outside the door and I didn 't want to get near him . Jackie couldn 't believe that I hadn 't learned my lesson yet and was more than just a little annoyed . She decided that I was going to have to figure it our for myself this time . She went out the door and wrapped the lunge line around a post and put a steady pressure on my nose . I thought of going up but I could have hit my head on the ceiling . Once Jackie chased Jethro away I decided that it was safe to come out of the barn & I better move it along . I stalled a couple of times when I had to pass closely by the other guys but I 'm learning the rules and walked the rest on the way down the hill with no incident until I saw something sitting on top of a round pen panel . It kind of spooked me but curiosity got the better of me and I walked right up to it to check it out . It turns out that it was the saddle that had been put on me a few weeks ago in my stall . Every time I went past it I wanted to check it out . I ' joined up ' quicker that day and then Jackie decided to put the saddle on me . She let me sniff the pad before she put it on me and then the saddle ; it wasn 't too bad . Then she sent me out to trot around again and OMG it felt funny and all I could think of was getting rid of it . Jackie laughed and sent me forward and made some comment about me looking like a rodeo horse . I got use to it and settled down & we called it a day . We finished up with a walk around the pasture . It all ended up pretty good and Jackie praised me and said how pleased she was that I didn 't even whinny once ! The next day Walt ( the farrier ) was here to do the other horses feet so all of the horses were in the barn . I went out right past Walt 's equipment and truck without a problem . I did let out one little whinny because I felt all alone with everyone in the barn . Jackie reassured me that I wasn 't alone because she was with me & she was right . A good day in the round pen , only a few bucks with the saddle , spent a little time on the lunge line for the first time and an extra long walk in the pasture and I followed her right over a log . A good day ; ) That bring us to today . A little out of the routine to see what I have learned and to give me a new experience . I didn 't like the sounds of that , but so far Jackie hasn 't steered me wrong . Jackie came out to the pasture and put a halter on me and went down to the round pen while my pasture mates were still turned out . I was walking very willingly and Jackie was pleased . Jill followed me most of the way down and then ran back to the others . That got me a little excited and I was firmly told that I needed to listen and then she talked to me in a reassuring tone of voice and helped me to relax and I was a good boy and got my face rubbed ( my favorite ) . Good work in the round pen , I wanted to start our all ' joined up ' but Jackie insisted that I practice learning my voice commands for trot and canter . I 'm getting pretty good at that and no bucking with the saddle today . Since the horses were in the pasture , Jackie decided to take me for a walk outside the pasture . I walked right through a big puddle , stood politely while Jackie opened the fence and then closed it again . Then it hit me , I wasn 't in the safety of the pasture anymore . I started calling for my friends but I did NOT stop , I kept marching right along next to Jackie . Jackie kept complaining about me getting in her space and screaming in her ear . Sorry , I couldn 't help myself , there was too much to look at and I was nervous . We finally got to a trail that was just on the other side of the pasture fence so I began to relaI was turned back out with my buds while Jackie cleaned the stalls then we all were brought in and Kyle took Jill right back out to work with her and Jackie turned out all the big boys . For some reason that really bothered me today ( hasn 't bothered me before ) and I made a big fuss . I guess I was a little stressed out from the walk outside the pasture today . Finally Jill came back , I got fresh bedding , took a good roll and everything was quiet again . I think I heard Jackie say that I needed a day off tomorrow so I would have time to think about everything that has happened that last few days . Sounds good to me , but I hope I still get my grooming . Well I haven 't been nearly as busy as Jack ; I have only been worked in the round pen twice . I don 't have any problems walking down to the round pen although I do have to be reminded to be polite and not get in too much of a hurry and get in Kyle 's space . The saddle was no big deal , no rodeo bucks here just a few kicks . I must say I don 't quite get this ' joining up ' thing and when Kyle acts like he 's part of my herd I act like I do with any horse who is trying to herd me around and I pin my ears and open my mouth . Well that boy has some spunk , he came right back at me . I have to respect him for that . When he was visiting me at the feeder last night I reminded him to stay away from MY hay and pinned my ears and came at him with my mouth open and he put his arms up and accidentally whacked me in the face . Whoa baby , that was a wake up call , he 's a human not a horse ; he 's not going to take me food . Boy am I embarrassed . . . sorry Kyle ; it won 't happen again . After working in the round pen today we walked back up to the barn a different way and we went into the water jump . No big deal , I just followed Kyle in . He tells me that I 'm going to be a good event horse because I 'm pretty brave . Well I think I would have been a pretty good race horse too . I just found out that my big brother Heisman Star , won a race the other day . Way to go bro ! Jack here , I get to go first today because I got to work in the round pen a day before Jill . Let me start by saying that this was the first time that I had been led that far and the first time that I went anywhere without Jill . I had to go past the big boys who were out and I had to stand and wait while Jackie opened a gate and then we had to walk down the big hill that was kind of slippery because of all the rain we have been having . I stopped a couple of times to check everything out . Jackie asked me to continue and I did and she told me that I was a good boy and she was happy I wasn 't acting like a mule . I don 't know what she was expecting ; I haven 't done that mule behavior in quite some time . She also seemed surprised that I wasn 't calling for Jill . I am almost 3 years old , what does she think I am , some sort of baby ? Anyway we got down to the sandy rings and the footing was much better . Then I was taken into a round pen ( didn 't look very round to me ) when after a couple of laps around the round pen I was unhooked and I could trot around . Actually it was nice to move without worrying about slipping ; I just wish I had more room to really run ! To start with I just trotted around and Jackie seemed really pleased with the way I was moving . She made some comment about me being free in the shoulder and easily over tracking by 2 hoof prints . I haven 't a clue what she was talking about but she seemed pretty happy with it . When Jackie 's happy I 'm happy ; ) After a little bit Jackie started pressing me a little more to change direction and canter some . It seemed like a big game so I let out some pretty good bucks ; the leap up with a twist . Jackie was impressed , but she also seemed a bit concerned . Not sure why . All of a sudden I heard the mini ho starting up by the barn and I had to stop and watch it and for some reason I let out a big whinny . Jackie laughed and after a little more work decided that I had enough for the first time so she hooked back up to my halter with the lead rope and we walked back up the hill to the barn . I was much more willing to walk back to the barn , but I had to be reminded to stay out of Jackie 's space . Doesn 't she realize that she 's my security blanket ? The next day it was Jill 's turn . She didn 't have to worry about gates and stuff like that because Jackie was there to close the gates while Kyle led her . From what I hear she led down to the ring with no stopping and no whinnying either . She was pretty good in the round pen but she really wasn 't paying much attention to Kyle . Apparently she wasn 't ready to ' join up ' . I hear that is something that you 're looking for when you do round pen work , I guess I didn 't do it either . I still don 't know what it is , but when it happens I think I 'll understand better . Anyway Jill got hot and sweaty and went down to roll but she didn 't get to enjoy it because she was too close to the fence and they were worried about her getting caught in the fence . On her way back to the barn Kyle practiced stopping and starting with Jill because she sometimes wants to go too much some times . Kyle had to go to work when he was done with Jill so it was just Jackie and me today . For some reason I just didn 't want to go down the hill today . I don 't know why but I just didn 't want to go down the hill so I told Jackie by planting all four feet and refusing to move . She asked me nice to get a move on but I stood my ground . Well I guess that was the wrong thing to do . She tapped me with the end of the lead rope and I ran in a small circle and stopped before I slipped and fell and I planted again and she called me a mule ! # $ @ I didn 't like being called a mule so I went a few steps before stopping again . This time she called me a cow and she said that she can play this game too and she just planted like me but with pressure on my halter . After a little bit the pressure on the halter was getting uncomfortable so I jumped up in the air to relieve the pressure . WELL . . . I was told in no uncertain terms that rearing was against the rules and that I better shape up NOW . I did as I was told but now I was upset because I got into trouble . Don 't ask me why I did it , but all of a sudden I found myself letting out a cry for help . Jackie laughed and rubbed me and reassured me that it 's not big deal and I should chill out . Easy for her to say . By the time I got to the round pen I was already mentally whooped so Jackie took it easy on me . She shot a video of me but I hear it didn 't turn out maybe next time . She did manage to get a picture of Jill though . What work we did do in the round pen really helped me to relax and when I was done Jackie worked with me on my leading , backing up and moving when I was asked . We practiced that ALL the way up the hill . I did not have to be reminded to stay out of Jackie 's space and she was really happy with me and gave me lots of rubs and good boys . I think she has forgiven for my earlier inappropriate behavior . Next time I will be better but that may be a couple of days , more rain ; ( Well I must say that my behavior was much better than Jack 's . He 's such a drama king sometimes . I don 't know why he made such a big deal about walking down the hill especially since he did it the day before . Oh well , not my problem . I thought it was a nice change of pace and a chance to move around on good footing . I just wish there was good sandy footing in the whole pasture like there is in the round pen so we could really run . I guess we wouldn 't have any grass to eat if it was all sand but I 'm getting tired of the rain always messing things up . Right now we 're locked up in a smaller pasture so we don 't mess up the big pasture . One more note ; Kyle put a proper saddle today . It was a little heavier but still not a problem . He said that next time I do round pen work he 's going to put the saddle on me so I can get use to it . So far this training stuff is going pretty good . It seems when Jackie is away and the sun is shinning either Kyle or Kevin let us all out together . We were busy watching Mr . yellow boots building a fire to clean up some limbs from a tree that had been cut down . It was kind of scary but very interesting too . Dave had driven down through in a small green vehicle called a Gator ( don 't ask me why it 's called that ) and the dogs seem to love riding in it . When it was sitting there unattended we cautiously crept up to it to check it out . The dog they call Greta never got out of it so we checked her out too . We didn 't stay out with the big boys too long because Jethro started behaving badly around Margee and that seems to irritate Kyle . It didn 't matter I wanted my breakfast anyway . I usually really enjoy eating my breakfast but for some reason I was having trouble eating my grain today when all of a sudden one of my back teeth come out . I was really worried at first but then I realized that it was much easier to eat after it fell out and there was another tooth to take it 's place . I was told to get use to because I was going to be shedding more molars . What are they talking about , I 'm shedding hair maybe , but I 'm loosing teeth . They made a joke about the tooth fairy . I hope the tooth fairy comes for horses ; I don 't need any money but a treat would be nice . It 's starting to rain so it won 't be quite so nice turned out but with rain comes mud and I love to roll in the mud ; it feels soooo good ! Then when it dries I get an extra long grooming . I just hope Kyle doen 't try to suck the mud off with the noisy machine that Jackie used on Jack . He didn 't seem very happy about it . That 's it for now . I like to roll in the mud but I do not like that noisy machine that looks like a giant snake and feels like it 's trying to suck my skin off . They call it a vacuum cleaner ; I call it scary . Jackie rubbed me with the vacuum and I wasn 't sure about it and then she turned it on and I really wasn 't so sure about it , then she started to use it on my body & all I wanted to do is leave , but I couldn 't because I was in those darn cross ties . Jackie came up to my head and tried to calm me down but she was still holding the end of that scary machine & I tried to tell her I just wanted out of there ! ! I guess reaching out with my front leg wasn 't the best way to try to communicate . Jackie yelled at me and called me a bad boy and told me that striking was NOT allowable behavior . She hasn 't talked to me like that in a long time when I was first learning the rules . She could tell I didn 't mean it and put the machine down but she didn 't turn it off . She said something about me having to get use to it and started to groom me the normal way , but I just couldn 't relax and enjoy it like I usually do so Jackie put me back in my stall . I thought whew , thank goodness that was over , or so I thought . Jackie brought the vacuum down by my stall and hung the long blue snake part over the top of the stall . Of course I 'm curious and had to check it out . In fact I even tried to put it in my mouth but then it started making that awful noise and it startled me . Well Jackie just let that thing run and make all sorts of noise for awhile and then she turned it off and back on and back off . That seemed to go on forever but I was very brave and never ran away from it . All the time she was talking to me telling me that I had to learn to trust her and that she would never do anything to trick or hurt me and she then told me I was a good boy and rubbed my head and all was good . That is until she came in my stall and put a halter on me and started to vacuum me . I still didn 't like it very much but I tried really hard to trust Jackie and she didn 't vacuum me too long and we finished with more good boys and rubs on the forehead . This trust thing is a little hard when I 'm scared but I 'm working on it . After a few weeks of practicing picking up our feet Jackie decided that it was time for us to have a visit from the farrier ( that must be what they call someone takes care of horses ' feet ) . Margee got her feet done first and then it was Jack 's turn . They were in the wash rack which is right next to my stall but I couldn 't see what was going on because of a tall wall between my stall and the wash rack , but I could hear what was going on . Walt , the farrier , seemed like a nice guy and he was talking to Jackie and said that he would take it real slow so as to not make Jack nervous . I heard a lot of good boys and only once did I hear that Jack pulled his foot away . When Walt was done they remarked at how much better his feet looked after Walt took the flair off . Don 't ask me what that means , but they say in a couple of more trimmings his feet should be in good shape . Before I knew it Jack was done and it was my turn . I was a little excited when I got in the wash rack but Dave had a great idea to calm me down . . . he went straight for the sweet spot and scratched . Yeah , it worked . Anyway Walt picked up my feet and put them between his legs like Kyle practiced with me and then snipped my feet to trim them and then finished then up with a giant nail file called a rasp . Jackie kept rubbing my head and telling me I was a good girl and when I tried to pull my feet a little Walt would make some silly joke and everyone laughed . Before I knew it I was done and for a reward Dave gave me an extra long scratch on the sweet spot . Life is good ! ! I heard Jackie and Dave talking with Walt and he was happy with how well we behaved and said that we should be pretty easy to train . Then he said something about putting shoes on us when we start getting ridden . Whoa baby , one thing at a time please ! But he is right , we are good students . Who wouldn 't want to be ? All you have to do is follow a few simple instructions and remember what you learned the day before and they make a big fuss over you . I like it ; ) I only have a little to add . Walt seems like a really nice guy and I appreciate that he didn 't get mad at me when I pulled my foot away when the rasp tickled my foot . Jackie kept rubbing my forehead and telling me I was a good boy and I didn 't pull my foot away again . I think I would do almost anything for the good boys and getting my my forehead rubbed ; ) After Walt left Jackie put me back in the wash rack for some serious grooming . My hair is really shedding and Jackie used something called a shedding blade and it felt sooooooo good . I hope she uses it again tomorrow . Since Walt was here today all of the horses were in the barn at the same time which meant that I got to visit with Tintin since I just got moved to a stall next to him . He reached his head over the partition and started scratching and licking me . I 'm not quite sure why he was doing it , but it was kind of nice . Maybe he isn 't such a bad guy after all . |
Although Jack and I have not been going out together anymore we have been going out for long walks around the farm going through the woods , up and down hills and across a stream . It has been really fun and I got to say , this is one pretty farm ! Check out the video of me following Kyle down the bank back by the big pond that had a bunch of ducks on it ! I don 't know what Jackie is laughing at I think I stepped down it with more style than Kyle did . I hear we 're going to have a new red headed girl coming next week so we 'll be back up to 4 horses in our group again . It will be kind of nice not being the new one for a change . I don 't think she is going to be staying long , something about Kyle training her some . So far I think he 's a pretty good trainer . We got another vaccination with some plastic thing stuck up our nose and one more shot . I think we are done with that for awhile . I 'm happy to report that Jack learned his lesson from the last time and he was much better behaved . If he would just learn that it is easier to do it right the first time he would be a lot better off . That 's it for now . Sun was a great day ! I got to spend some time with two of my favorite girls . First I got to go for a walk with Jill . Since she hadn 't been out for a walk before I led the whole way except when we got to the stream . Kyle wanted to see how she would do by herself . I got to say I was impressed , she walked right through the stream . So I guess you 're not suppose to jump the whole thing ! So I walked through the stream too and it was much easier that way . We spent some time playing in the creek and munching some grass before heading back to the barn . When we got back to the barn Jill went in and I got turned out . I noticed that Laura was riding Kat in the dressage ring . I let out a whinny and ran down to join her but decided against it since I would have to pass near the big boys . I ran down several times and at the last minute ran away . Finally I got brave enough and went down and the big boys didn 't bother me at all ; they were too busy trying to find grass to munch on . Anyway when I got down there I just followed and followed Kat as she was being ridden . After all that running around I got a little warm so I had a great roll in the sand and another roll and another roll . Finally I decided that I would just eat grass instead of following Kat all of the time . When she was done I followed her over to the bank jump & I followed her up and down like I did with Jackie the other day . Kat & Laura tried to get me to go down the bank into the water but I wasn 't too sure about that but I did follow them into the other water jump . Then they tried to get me to follow them down the bank into the water jump again and this time I did it . That was fun ! ! The rest of the day I was out with the big boys and I 'm beginning to get use to it , but I still spend a lot of time hanging up around the barn by myself but closer to the girls . Yesterday was another good day as I got to go for a walk with Jill again . But before we got to go for a walk I had to learn another rule . Apparently it is not acceptable to get all excited when Jill leaves the barn before I do . Sorry , I just couldn 't help myself ! Anyway we had a nice walk and did a different bank jump . It was a little bigger than the one I had done before and I figured out that it was easier to jump up with my hind end rather than try to walk up one foot at a time . When we got back Jill went in the barn and I stayed out with the guys . I actually was looking for them in the pasture and when I located them I took a canter down to be with them . I guess they 're not so bad . At least out in the pasture when the make a face at me I have a We were way out in the back of the pasture when I noticed Jackie & Kyle coming down the hill with Pip ( my new friend ) and Margee . I could believe my good luck , I hadn 't seen Margee in quite awhile . So I started following her around like I did with Kat the other day , but when I got too close I was chased away by either Kyle or Jethro . That didn 't deter me , but I was a little more careful not to get too close . Then when Kyle rode Jethro I followed him around too . I 'm not sure why but I did . Wow , I can 't believe that it has been almost 10 days since we posted last . With the nicer weather everyone has been a little busier especially Jack . I kept hearing about Jack doing this and Jack doing that and it was getting a little annoying ; I could do all that stuff too if Kyle just had the time to do it . So last Sun I showed them all . I worked in the round pen with a saddle on while there were three ponies in the ring right next to the round pen without getting distracted . Well maybe a little but there were three of them and they didn 't look like any horses I had ever seen before . First of all they were all small and odd colors ; one was black and white , one had spots all over it ( I hear they call that one a POA , what does Ponies of America have to do with spots anyway ? ) and one chestnut pony with a pretty almost white mane and tail , I think they call that flaxen . Jack has never done that before . Then when we were done I followed Kyle up and down the bank jump and into the water jump and I did it three times and Jack only did it once ! So maybe Jack is getting more training time than me , but I don 't need it because I learn quicker and I don 't get worried like Jack sometimes does . The other day Jack laid down in his stall and rolled and rolled until he got cast . I couldn 't see what was going on but it sure was noisy . Jack & Jackie both seemed a little concerned and she was happy that Jack was able to take care of things on his own . I don 't think that would ever happen to me so because I 'm smart enough to roll in the middle of my stall . We all got something called coggins test the other day . I 'm not too sure what it 's for but I hear we need to have it done and then a couple of days later we got vaccinations to help keep us from getting sick . It wasn 't bad , just a prick and I was told I was a good girl . I don 't know what the deal was with Jack but things didn 't seem to go smoothly for the coggins test and things got down right ugly for his shot a couple of days later . Dr . Dave sounded really irritated and was making some comment about Jack being the instigator of our late night escapes and then said that Jack could go if he kept that up . Go , go where ? What did that have to do with getting a shot anyway ? I don 't know , but Jackie definitely wasn 't happy with that comment . Up until that morning we had always been very careful to be back in the pasture by morning and we only did it a few times . Unfortunately for us they came out to the barn earlier than usual that day and we were busted as we hadn 't snuck back in yet . That 's when I heard that since Jack was the instigator he had to learn to respect the fence and that he and I were not going to go out together anymore so we couldn 't get into trouble . I thought that last part was a little extreme but at least I got to stay with Kat & Margee . I do feel kind of sorry for Jack though . He doesn 't seem very happy being out with the big boys . Don 't tell him I said so , but I kind of miss him . On a brighter note ; our Jockey Club papers arrived in the mail today ! So it 's finally officially official if you know what I mean . I think Jill is a little jealous because she hasn 't been able to go for walks around the whole farm like me . It really is nice and I even got to go into the woods some more . I was much better about crossing the stream the second time and other than almost jumping on Jackie as I cleared the stream ; I was walking right up there next to her , not behind her like I usually do . We even practiced jogging in hand a little . She said that I need to do that for the Future Event Horse class in May . Since it is a class for future event horses I wonder if I get to show them how I can step right up and off the bank jump and go right into the water . Jackie said something about Lucinda being impressed . I guess she 's some famous event rider who comes here for clinics every year and she has horses practice walking up and down banks just like I did but with riders on them . I got to do the bank and the water jump again on Sun and it is a lot of fun . I don 't know what the big deal is . Since it was a nice day and all the big boys were out in the pasture Jackie turned me out with them for a couple of hours . It wasn 't bad until they all decided to come back up to eat at the round bale that things got uncomfortable . They still aren 't very nice to me and I decided the best thing to do would be to blast through the ribbon gate and just leave . Once I got out there all by myself I didn 't know what to do so I just ran and ran and suddenly it hit me , I 'm all by myself and I don 't know where I am . I managed to find my way back and just as Jackie was rounding the corner of the barn I ducked under the fence back into the pasture & she put be back in the barn . Whew ! ! Since I discovered that it was pretty easy to blast through the bottom ribbon and duck under the top one Jill and I snuck out a few nights while Jackie was out of town . Somehow Kyle knew we had gotten out . He said something about leaving evidence in the back yard . Anyway he put up metal gates and we stayed in until the other night and that was when we got busted . Then we had the disagreement about the shot and then I heard something about learning respect for the fence Somehow that fence that I usually just blast through zapped me when I put my nose on it . I jumped back and trotted away . I couldn 't believe what just happened so I thought I would check it out again and I got zapped again . I decided that I better just stay away from the fence but that apparently wasn 't good enough . Jill and I aren 't allowed to go out together anymore because we were getting into too much trouble together . Not good , not good at all . Thank goodness the training went well to save the day . Today is the second full day out with the big boys and things aren 't going much better . Pip will play with me a little , Gopher usually ignores me , Tintin sometimes chases me with his ears back and Jethro , well lets just say that Jethro is the boss for a reason . So I spend most of the time but myself and hanging around the barn in hopes that I can go back in . When the horses go out in the pasture I go over to the round bale and eat while I can . Laura came out to ride Kat & I just had to give her a little nicker when I saw her and then I stood on top of the hill and watched her as she was ridden . I can 't believe I miss that cute little mare . Jackie assures me that I will eventually make a friend or two and that things will get better when Jethro leaves in a couple of weeks . They say he 's going out for trial to see if someone wants to lease him . Here 's hoping that he won 't be coming back . Any way , the training was interesting today . Jackie used two lunge lines on me today . She called it long lining or something like that . At first it was a little confusing and I almost got tangled up a couple of times but then I got the hang of it and I was trotting around the round pen and changing direction at the trot and being told that I was a good boy . I like that ; ) I hope Jackie has time to take me for another long walk again ; I really enjoy those walks . Besides that ; it will get me away from the big boy for awhile . Jack Since Kyle is visiting a friend today Jackie decided to work with me to see if she could get me to ' join up ' better . We worked in the round pen for awhile and I guess I kind of did ' it ' but she made some comment about Jack being better at ' it ' than I am . Doesn 't she know that I 'm a strong independent young woman and Jack is , how should I say this . . . a little needy ? I mean come on , while I was working in the round pen I could hear him calling for me . If that isn 't needy I don 't know what is . Laura came down to ride Jethro as I was finishing up in the round pen so I got to hang out and watch him go . It was the first time that Laura every rode him and they looked pretty good to me , but what do I know ? Then we went back to the barn together , kind of , Jackie kept stopping me and telling me to quit stepping on the back of her boots . Picky , picky picky ; ) I enjoyed my day off but to make sure I got my grooming I rolled in the mud on both sides ! It worked , I got an extra long grooming yesterday . Jackie was right the day off to think about all that has been going on with my training lately and I think I 'm getting it where this training is concerned . I think I had my best day yet ! We always do something a little different along with a review of what we have already done . Today I got the saddle put on me before I was worked in the round pen . I walked all the way down the hill with the saddle on like a prefect gentleman ; no refusing to move , no trying to get ride of the saddle , and no calling . We only had to practice a little voice commands before I joined up . Jill has this all wrong , it 's part of being willing partners , it has nothing to do with being needy ! I was simply calling words of encouragement while she was working . Anyway after our short and sweet work in the round pen we went for a walk along the same route we did the other day but I was much more relaxed and really enjoyed myself . In fact I even got to stop at the water trough by the stabling barn and got a good long drink of water . All was going well until we took a left and headed up into the woods instead of taking a right and going back to the barn . The woods wasn 't so bad , it was the steep short hill through some really deep mud and over the stream that I could have done without . When we got there Jackie told me to wait until she got to the other side , something about not wanting me to jump on her and knocking her into the mud or the creek . I don 't know what she was worried about ; I had no intention of following her . Well Jackie was on one side of the creek and I was on the other , what was I to do ? I wanted to be with her and wanted to trust her , but I just wasn 't sure . I backed up and took out the slack of the lunge line and Jackie joked that she really didn 't want to cross the creek and the mud again . She told me to just come over it was no big deal . Since I didn 't plant all 4 and refuse to go like IWhen we were almost back to the barn I looked down the hill and saw Kat being ridden in the dressage ring and I couldn 't help myself , I had to give her a shout out . But that was the only time I opened my mouth the whole day ; much improved over the last time . One other thing I learned today ; I 'm suppose to keep walking while I 'm pooping . You 've got to be kidding , I 'd like to see her do that ! So rather than walk and poop ; I waited until she stopped for a break & then I took care of business . I did that twice . Pretty smart huh ? After a brief break from the training due to snow the training has continued . Jackie has had more time than Kyle so I have been worked in the round pen four times since the last post . The round pen work has gone well but there have been a few problems getting to the round pen . The next time we went to work in the round pen after a few days off we had to go through the paddock where the the big boys were eating hay & they all came over to visit . I decided that I wanted to stay with the guys and planted all fours and when Jackie put pressure on my nose for me to get a move on I stood and my back legs to show her I didn 't appreciate it . Well I forgot that was against the rules and I got a reprimand and when I refused to go forward again I was made to go backwards . I finally realized that it is better to just do what is expected of me and I walked down the rest of the way without further incident although I did call to the horses a few times . After working in the round pen for a little while I ' got it ' ; I did what they call ' joining up ' . I wanted to join Jackie and I would follower her wherever she went . When she stopped I stopped , when she turned I turned , when she backed up I backed up ; I just wanted to be with her . I 'm not exactly sure why , but it was pretty cool . When we were done we went for a walk in the pasture and it was nice just hanging out together . So the session ended on a really good note , so I thought . When we got back to the barn Jackie said if I wanted to hang out with the big boys so badly then she would give me my wish and she turned me out with the guys while all of my regular pasture mates were in the barn . Whoa baby , I really didn 't mean that I wanted turned loose with them and asked to go in the barn . Jackie laughed and said ' you asked for it , you got it ' and left me out with the big boys for a couple of hours . She kept checking on me and I kept asking to come in because the boys weren 't being very nice to me , especially that Jethro who kept reminding me that he was boss . Finally I got to go back in the barn with my friends . Whew , glad that was over . The next morning we were going to have another training session but this time I wouldn 't even leave the barn because Jethro was right outside the door and I didn 't want to get near him . Jackie couldn 't believe that I hadn 't learned my lesson yet and was more than just a little annoyed . She decided that I was going to have to figure it our for myself this time . She went out the door and wrapped the lunge line around a post and put a steady pressure on my nose . I thought of going up but I could have hit my head on the ceiling . Once Jackie chased Jethro away I decided that it was safe to come out of the barn & I better move it along . I stalled a couple of times when I had to pass closely by the other guys but I 'm learning the rules and walked the rest on the way down the hill with no incident until I saw something sitting on top of a round pen panel . It kind of spooked me but curiosity got the better of me and I walked right up to it to check it out . It turns out that it was the saddle that had been put on me a few weeks ago in my stall . Every time I went past it I wanted to check it out . I ' joined up ' quicker that day and then Jackie decided to put the saddle on me . She let me sniff the pad before she put it on me and then the saddle ; it wasn 't too bad . Then she sent me out to trot around again and OMG it felt funny and all I could think of was getting rid of it . Jackie laughed and sent me forward and made some comment about me looking like a rodeo horse . I got use to it and settled down & we called it a day . We finished up with a walk around the pasture . It all ended up pretty good and Jackie praised me and said how pleased she was that I didn 't even whinny once ! The next day Walt ( the farrier ) was here to do the other horses feet so all of the horses were in the barn . I went out right past Walt 's equipment and truck without a problem . I did let out one little whinny because I felt all alone with everyone in the barn . Jackie reassured me that I wasn 't alone because she was with me & she was right . A good day in the round pen , only a few bucks with the saddle , spent a little time on the lunge line for the first time and an extra long walk in the pasture and I followed her right over a log . A good day ; ) That bring us to today . A little out of the routine to see what I have learned and to give me a new experience . I didn 't like the sounds of that , but so far Jackie hasn 't steered me wrong . Jackie came out to the pasture and put a halter on me and went down to the round pen while my pasture mates were still turned out . I was walking very willingly and Jackie was pleased . Jill followed me most of the way down and then ran back to the others . That got me a little excited and I was firmly told that I needed to listen and then she talked to me in a reassuring tone of voice and helped me to relax and I was a good boy and got my face rubbed ( my favorite ) . Good work in the round pen , I wanted to start our all ' joined up ' but Jackie insisted that I practice learning my voice commands for trot and canter . I 'm getting pretty good at that and no bucking with the saddle today . Since the horses were in the pasture , Jackie decided to take me for a walk outside the pasture . I walked right through a big puddle , stood politely while Jackie opened the fence and then closed it again . Then it hit me , I wasn 't in the safety of the pasture anymore . I started calling for my friends but I did NOT stop , I kept marching right along next to Jackie . Jackie kept complaining about me getting in her space and screaming in her ear . Sorry , I couldn 't help myself , there was too much to look at and I was nervous . We finally got to a trail that was just on the other side of the pasture fence so I began to relaI was turned back out with my buds while Jackie cleaned the stalls then we all were brought in and Kyle took Jill right back out to work with her and Jackie turned out all the big boys . For some reason that really bothered me today ( hasn 't bothered me before ) and I made a big fuss . I guess I was a little stressed out from the walk outside the pasture today . Finally Jill came back , I got fresh bedding , took a good roll and everything was quiet again . I think I heard Jackie say that I needed a day off tomorrow so I would have time to think about everything that has happened that last few days . Sounds good to me , but I hope I still get my grooming . Well I haven 't been nearly as busy as Jack ; I have only been worked in the round pen twice . I don 't have any problems walking down to the round pen although I do have to be reminded to be polite and not get in too much of a hurry and get in Kyle 's space . The saddle was no big deal , no rodeo bucks here just a few kicks . I must say I don 't quite get this ' joining up ' thing and when Kyle acts like he 's part of my herd I act like I do with any horse who is trying to herd me around and I pin my ears and open my mouth . Well that boy has some spunk , he came right back at me . I have to respect him for that . When he was visiting me at the feeder last night I reminded him to stay away from MY hay and pinned my ears and came at him with my mouth open and he put his arms up and accidentally whacked me in the face . Whoa baby , that was a wake up call , he 's a human not a horse ; he 's not going to take me food . Boy am I embarrassed . . . sorry Kyle ; it won 't happen again . After working in the round pen today we walked back up to the barn a different way and we went into the water jump . No big deal , I just followed Kyle in . He tells me that I 'm going to be a good event horse because I 'm pretty brave . Well I think I would have been a pretty good race horse too . I just found out that my big brother Heisman Star , won a race the other day . Way to go bro ! Jack here , I get to go first today because I got to work in the round pen a day before Jill . Let me start by saying that this was the first time that I had been led that far and the first time that I went anywhere without Jill . I had to go past the big boys who were out and I had to stand and wait while Jackie opened a gate and then we had to walk down the big hill that was kind of slippery because of all the rain we have been having . I stopped a couple of times to check everything out . Jackie asked me to continue and I did and she told me that I was a good boy and she was happy I wasn 't acting like a mule . I don 't know what she was expecting ; I haven 't done that mule behavior in quite some time . She also seemed surprised that I wasn 't calling for Jill . I am almost 3 years old , what does she think I am , some sort of baby ? Anyway we got down to the sandy rings and the footing was much better . Then I was taken into a round pen ( didn 't look very round to me ) when after a couple of laps around the round pen I was unhooked and I could trot around . Actually it was nice to move without worrying about slipping ; I just wish I had more room to really run ! To start with I just trotted around and Jackie seemed really pleased with the way I was moving . She made some comment about me being free in the shoulder and easily over tracking by 2 hoof prints . I haven 't a clue what she was talking about but she seemed pretty happy with it . When Jackie 's happy I 'm happy ; ) After a little bit Jackie started pressing me a little more to change direction and canter some . It seemed like a big game so I let out some pretty good bucks ; the leap up with a twist . Jackie was impressed , but she also seemed a bit concerned . Not sure why . All of a sudden I heard the mini ho starting up by the barn and I had to stop and watch it and for some reason I let out a big whinny . Jackie laughed and after a little more work decided that I had enough for the first time so she hooked back up to my halter with the lead rope and we walked back up the hill to the barn . I was much more willing to walk back to the barn , but I had to be reminded to stay out of Jackie 's space . Doesn 't she realize that she 's my security blanket ? The next day it was Jill 's turn . She didn 't have to worry about gates and stuff like that because Jackie was there to close the gates while Kyle led her . From what I hear she led down to the ring with no stopping and no whinnying either . She was pretty good in the round pen but she really wasn 't paying much attention to Kyle . Apparently she wasn 't ready to ' join up ' . I hear that is something that you 're looking for when you do round pen work , I guess I didn 't do it either . I still don 't know what it is , but when it happens I think I 'll understand better . Anyway Jill got hot and sweaty and went down to roll but she didn 't get to enjoy it because she was too close to the fence and they were worried about her getting caught in the fence . On her way back to the barn Kyle practiced stopping and starting with Jill because she sometimes wants to go too much some times . Kyle had to go to work when he was done with Jill so it was just Jackie and me today . For some reason I just didn 't want to go down the hill today . I don 't know why but I just didn 't want to go down the hill so I told Jackie by planting all four feet and refusing to move . She asked me nice to get a move on but I stood my ground . Well I guess that was the wrong thing to do . She tapped me with the end of the lead rope and I ran in a small circle and stopped before I slipped and fell and I planted again and she called me a mule ! # $ @ I didn 't like being called a mule so I went a few steps before stopping again . This time she called me a cow and she said that she can play this game too and she just planted like me but with pressure on my halter . After a little bit the pressure on the halter was getting uncomfortable so I jumped up in the air to relieve the pressure . WELL . . . I was told in no uncertain terms that rearing was against the rules and that I better shape up NOW . I did as I was told but now I was upset because I got into trouble . Don 't ask me why I did it , but all of a sudden I found myself letting out a cry for help . Jackie laughed and rubbed me and reassured me that it 's not big deal and I should chill out . Easy for her to say . By the time I got to the round pen I was already mentally whooped so Jackie took it easy on me . She shot a video of me but I hear it didn 't turn out maybe next time . She did manage to get a picture of Jill though . What work we did do in the round pen really helped me to relax and when I was done Jackie worked with me on my leading , backing up and moving when I was asked . We practiced that ALL the way up the hill . I did not have to be reminded to stay out of Jackie 's space and she was really happy with me and gave me lots of rubs and good boys . I think she has forgiven for my earlier inappropriate behavior . Next time I will be better but that may be a couple of days , more rain ; ( Well I must say that my behavior was much better than Jack 's . He 's such a drama king sometimes . I don 't know why he made such a big deal about walking down the hill especially since he did it the day before . Oh well , not my problem . I thought it was a nice change of pace and a chance to move around on good footing . I just wish there was good sandy footing in the whole pasture like there is in the round pen so we could really run . I guess we wouldn 't have any grass to eat if it was all sand but I 'm getting tired of the rain always messing things up . Right now we 're locked up in a smaller pasture so we don 't mess up the big pasture . One more note ; Kyle put a proper saddle today . It was a little heavier but still not a problem . He said that next time I do round pen work he 's going to put the saddle on me so I can get use to it . So far this training stuff is going pretty good . It seems when Jackie is away and the sun is shinning either Kyle or Kevin let us all out together . We were busy watching Mr . yellow boots building a fire to clean up some limbs from a tree that had been cut down . It was kind of scary but very interesting too . Dave had driven down through in a small green vehicle called a Gator ( don 't ask me why it 's called that ) and the dogs seem to love riding in it . When it was sitting there unattended we cautiously crept up to it to check it out . The dog they call Greta never got out of it so we checked her out too . We didn 't stay out with the big boys too long because Jethro started behaving badly around Margee and that seems to irritate Kyle . It didn 't matter I wanted my breakfast anyway . I usually really enjoy eating my breakfast but for some reason I was having trouble eating my grain today when all of a sudden one of my back teeth come out . I was really worried at first but then I realized that it was much easier to eat after it fell out and there was another tooth to take it 's place . I was told to get use to because I was going to be shedding more molars . What are they talking about , I 'm shedding hair maybe , but I 'm loosing teeth . They made a joke about the tooth fairy . I hope the tooth fairy comes for horses ; I don 't need any money but a treat would be nice . It 's starting to rain so it won 't be quite so nice turned out but with rain comes mud and I love to roll in the mud ; it feels soooo good ! Then when it dries I get an extra long grooming . I just hope Kyle doen 't try to suck the mud off with the noisy machine that Jackie used on Jack . He didn 't seem very happy about it . That 's it for now . I like to roll in the mud but I do not like that noisy machine that looks like a giant snake and feels like it 's trying to suck my skin off . They call it a vacuum cleaner ; I call it scary . Jackie rubbed me with the vacuum and I wasn 't sure about it and then she turned it on and I really wasn 't so sure about it , then she started to use it on my body & all I wanted to do is leave , but I couldn 't because I was in those darn cross ties . Jackie came up to my head and tried to calm me down but she was still holding the end of that scary machine & I tried to tell her I just wanted out of there ! ! I guess reaching out with my front leg wasn 't the best way to try to communicate . Jackie yelled at me and called me a bad boy and told me that striking was NOT allowable behavior . She hasn 't talked to me like that in a long time when I was first learning the rules . She could tell I didn 't mean it and put the machine down but she didn 't turn it off . She said something about me having to get use to it and started to groom me the normal way , but I just couldn 't relax and enjoy it like I usually do so Jackie put me back in my stall . I thought whew , thank goodness that was over , or so I thought . Jackie brought the vacuum down by my stall and hung the long blue snake part over the top of the stall . Of course I 'm curious and had to check it out . In fact I even tried to put it in my mouth but then it started making that awful noise and it startled me . Well Jackie just let that thing run and make all sorts of noise for awhile and then she turned it off and back on and back off . That seemed to go on forever but I was very brave and never ran away from it . All the time she was talking to me telling me that I had to learn to trust her and that she would never do anything to trick or hurt me and she then told me I was a good boy and rubbed my head and all was good . That is until she came in my stall and put a halter on me and started to vacuum me . I still didn 't like it very much but I tried really hard to trust Jackie and she didn 't vacuum me too long and we finished with more good boys and rubs on the forehead . This trust thing is a little hard when I 'm scared but I 'm working on it . After a few weeks of practicing picking up our feet Jackie decided that it was time for us to have a visit from the farrier ( that must be what they call someone takes care of horses ' feet ) . Margee got her feet done first and then it was Jack 's turn . They were in the wash rack which is right next to my stall but I couldn 't see what was going on because of a tall wall between my stall and the wash rack , but I could hear what was going on . Walt , the farrier , seemed like a nice guy and he was talking to Jackie and said that he would take it real slow so as to not make Jack nervous . I heard a lot of good boys and only once did I hear that Jack pulled his foot away . When Walt was done they remarked at how much better his feet looked after Walt took the flair off . Don 't ask me what that means , but they say in a couple of more trimmings his feet should be in good shape . Before I knew it Jack was done and it was my turn . I was a little excited when I got in the wash rack but Dave had a great idea to calm me down . . . he went straight for the sweet spot and scratched . Yeah , it worked . Anyway Walt picked up my feet and put them between his legs like Kyle practiced with me and then snipped my feet to trim them and then finished then up with a giant nail file called a rasp . Jackie kept rubbing my head and telling me I was a good girl and when I tried to pull my feet a little Walt would make some silly joke and everyone laughed . Before I knew it I was done and for a reward Dave gave me an extra long scratch on the sweet spot . Life is good ! ! I heard Jackie and Dave talking with Walt and he was happy with how well we behaved and said that we should be pretty easy to train . Then he said something about putting shoes on us when we start getting ridden . Whoa baby , one thing at a time please ! But he is right , we are good students . Who wouldn 't want to be ? All you have to do is follow a few simple instructions and remember what you learned the day before and they make a big fuss over you . I like it ; ) I only have a little to add . Walt seems like a really nice guy and I appreciate that he didn 't get mad at me when I pulled my foot away when the rasp tickled my foot . Jackie kept rubbing my forehead and telling me I was a good boy and I didn 't pull my foot away again . I think I would do almost anything for the good boys and getting my my forehead rubbed ; ) After Walt left Jackie put me back in the wash rack for some serious grooming . My hair is really shedding and Jackie used something called a shedding blade and it felt sooooooo good . I hope she uses it again tomorrow . Since Walt was here today all of the horses were in the barn at the same time which meant that I got to visit with Tintin since I just got moved to a stall next to him . He reached his head over the partition and started scratching and licking me . I 'm not quite sure why he was doing it , but it was kind of nice . Maybe he isn 't such a bad guy after all . |
The next couple of weeks were a bit of a blur for me , but I remember that Sally 's friends came over just about every day . They took turns helping me around the house , and they would frequently take me places . All their parents helped with rides and such . I had a lot of fun during that time even if I forgot a lot of what we did . One morning , after Sally had gotten us our breakfasts and taken me outside to eat , George came out and joined us for a bit . Sally asked him if he could stay with me while she ran up and got her swimsuit on so she could go in the pool for a bit . George agreed , and she ran into the house and changed . It didn 't take her long , and she was back out . George went back inside then and Sally went over to the diving board . She yelled at me to watch , and took a couple of running steps forward and jumped up . When she came down at the end of the board , her feet shot forward and she went down on her back and head . Even though I was at least thirty feet from there , I heard the loud crack as her head hit . She bounced up and spun sideways and went into the water face down where she just floated . No movement at all . I don 't remember going through the fence but when I got to the edge of the pool I kept going . I don 't remember how I moved the chair , just that I had to get to Sally as fast as I could . I went straight into the pool and sank to the bottom . I somehow got the chair braced so I could push against the back and I felt it tear free of the rivets holding it to the frame . I used my right leg and left arm to push myself through the belt around my chest and got free of it and the chair . I felt a tug as something pulled on the bum leg , but I just ignored it . Sally needed me . I swam up to her and grabbed an arm and swam to the shallow end where I could use the good leg to push on the bottom and somehow got to the stairs in the corner of the pool . When I got there , I sat down and pulled Sally into my lap to check her out . She wasn 't breathing , so I immediately started CPR . I don 't know how long I did this , but she finally started coughing up water and began breathing on her own . With her breathing again , I started yelling for George . He was out there fast , and when he saw me in the pool holding an unconscious Sally he immediately pulled out his cell phone and called for help . After that , he came over and got her out of the pool and lying down . I stayed where I was at since it was Sally we were both concerned with . Now that she was out of the pool , George got me Sally 's phone from where she left it on the table and showed me how to use the speed dial to call his phone and went out front to wait for the ambulance to get there . He was back a short time later with a paramedic team and a gurney . They immediately started checking Sally over , while I waited . I suddenly started feeling cold . I asked George to help me out of the pool because of how cold I was . He came over and looked into the water and yelled out , " I need help . We have a bleeder over here . I looked down into the water , and saw a stream of blood that originated at my left thigh . I remembered the pull on that leg when I 'd fought free of the wheelchair . I suddenly felt light headed and as I stared at the water it seemed to get closer until every thing went black . I don 't remember any thing until I woke up in what I could see was a hospital room . After that , I used my right foot and left hand to move myself to the door . I was going to find Sally . That was the only thing I could think of as I wasn 't very coherent at the time . I got out of the door , and headed down the hall . As I passed each room I looked in to see if Sally was there . Not seeing her , I continued on . I don 't know how long I looked but a nurse finally caught me . She started saying something about my needing to stay in bed . I don 't remember much else that she said . She pushed me back to my room and had an orderly help her get me back into bed . I don 't remember if they said anything or not at that point nor do I recall if I did . My only thought was that I had to find Sally because she needed me . When they left , they took the chair with them . That only slowed me down . I was determined to find Sally so I again got myself out of bed , only this time I just lowered myself to the floor and crawled to the door . I got it open by grabbing it from the bottom and pulling it until it was open enough to get through , and then I slid out on the waxed linoleum tile . I kept crawling and looking into rooms until I was again found . This time , when they got me back into my room they strapped me into bed . I was crying by now and fighting them trying to get away so I could find Sally . I had to make sure she was all right . They strapped me down tight , and an orderly stayed by my door to make sure I didn 't get away again . I don 't know how long I fought to get out of that bed , but George finally showed up . When he saw how I was restrained , he immediately undid the straps . The orderly came into the room and tried to stop him but he actually threw the man out the door and finished getting the straps off of me . When the orderly came back in , he ordered George to leave . George said , " I 'm this mans legal guardian , and if you restrain him like that again , you are going out that window over there . I want to see the hospital administrator . Now ! " With that , he turned back to me and said , " It 's ok Dar . She 's fine . You got to her in time and she 's fine . Just relax for a bit and I 'll get this straightened out and then we 'll go see her together . " George said , " That 's fine with me . I 'll be taking Dar here and my sister - in - law with me when I go . I 'll also be calling my attorney and informing him of how you treated this man . He saved my sister - in - laws life and almost bled to death as a result . They were brought in here at the same time . " I don 't recall anything else that was said , as I faded out . When I woke up again , George was still there . He looked at me and said , " When you feel strong enough I 'll take you to Sally . " I said , " I 'm hungry George . I don 't know when I last ate , but I 'm hungry . Can you take me to Sally and then get me some food ? " He said , " Yes . I 'll get you whatever you want . " With that , he helped me get up and gave me a robe to put on . It wasn 't a hospital robe and looked like it was brand new . I didn 't ask questions , just let him get me into it and then into a chair . He then pushed me to an elevator and we went up a few floors . I thought to myself , " I would never have found Sally alone " . Getting off the elevator , we went down the hall to a closed door . He opened it and pushed me in . I saw Sally was asleep or unconscious and hooked up to several monitors . She looked pale , but she was breathing . I noticed that Janny was there too , but I was only concerned with Sally . After all she 'd done for me since I 'd been released from the V . A . hospital I couldn 't bear the thought of her not getting better . I started pulling myself to her bed with my good leg , and George pushed me the rest of the way over . He said , " You can stay here with her for as long as you want . I promise that the hospital staff won 't cause you any more trouble about it either . They have enough problems with the complaints I filed against them . I also have an attorney checking into filing a law suit against them for how they treated you . That was inexcusable and I intend to make them pay for it . I looked at George and said , " Don 't make it bad for other sick people , George . Just get the ones who did it and leave the rest alone . I don 't need any money , and I don 't think you do either so just get the bad ones . " He looked at me for a second then said , " If that 's what you want , Dar , I 'll do it your way . I already have a specialist coming in to see about Sally , and when he says she can be moved I 'm transferring her to a different hospital . You are already released , and when I come back I 'll bring you some clothes . " " That 's fine with me , " he said . " You can stay here as long as you want . Either Janny , Erica or I will be here too . " I said , " She 's your baby sister , but she 's my best friend . I don 't have many friends and I won 't loose one if I can do anything about it . You don 't owe me anything anyway . She gave me more than I can possibly repay since I 've been staying with you . I would rather die than loose her or any of the rest of you . " Janny hugged me again , and kissed me on the forehead and said , " As long as I 'm alive , you have a home . No matter what , I 'll always make a place for you . First my husband , and now my sister . I don 't care what you say . I owe you . " She said , " You are a wonderful man and I love you for it . Very well , then , no debt for what was freely given . From both sides . " She then walked back over to the other side of the bed and sat down in a chair . I tried to lift my left hand up to Sally 's right hand but I couldn 't . My shoulder was throbbing and I just couldn 't lift it up . George saw what I was trying to do , and lifted my arm for me so I could reach Sally 's hand . I gripped her hand and just sat there holding it . I didn 't even notice when George left . I did notice when he came back , however , because he said , " Time to eat boy and time to change into some decent clothes . I don 't think it 's right for an old man like you to sit in a girls room just wearing those rags you have on . " I looked at him and saw he had a large bag that smelled like Chinese food . He also had another bag in his other hand . I let go of Sally and pushed back from her bed a bit . George put down the large bag and pulled a table over to me and put the bag of food on it and started pulling out containers and some plastic wear . " I 'm sorry about the table wear , " he said , but I thought you 'd be happy just to have the food . I also got you a new shirt and some jeans since your 's were ruined . Plus underwear and shoes and socks . After you eat , we 'll get you dressed . " Because of the shoulder , I couldn 't get a my hand up to my mouth . I couldn 't even reach the table at the time . Janny had to feed me like a baby but I was so hungry I didn 't care . I hadn 't had anything to eat that I could remember since before Sally 's accident . After I finished eating , Janny put the left over food into the bag and told George that I was done . He came over and pushed me into a bathroom across the hall and helped me get changed into the new clothes . The were much better quality than what I 'd been wearing when Sally had gotten hurt . I didn 't remember him saying that , but I excepted his explanation . When I was dressed , he pushed me back to Sally 's bed and helped me lift my arm so I could hold her hand again . I fell asleep sitting there like that . They talked a bit before she went back to sleep . I was relieved that she had woken up . I had been worried that she 'd been unconscious for too long . I hadn 't believed the specialist who 'd examined her . By this point , after my experiences with the staff of this hospital , I wasn 't very trusting of any one in the medical field . I hadn 't even been given a meal after I was brought in , and George said that I 'd been here for over 12 hours when he came to check on me . He apologized for not coming sooner , but had thought I 'd be ok . I told him that he was where he should have been , with Sally . If I 'd have been able to get there , I would have been there too . She was the important one at the time , not me . George said , " I should still have checked on you sooner . The hospital didn 't even notify the V . A . that you were here even after I told them that some of your injuries were service related . When I notified them that you were here and for how long , they said they 'd check on it . I think they did and they used a hammer to knock on the door here . " I asked , " Why do you say that ? " He said , " While you were asleep , the guy in the suit came back and started apologizing like you wouldn 't believe . He said that he didn 't know how that error had happened , but he 'd look into it immediately . He also said that your bill had been written off and you wouldn 't be charged for any services . " I asked , " What services ? I don 't think they even brought me a meal tray and even if they had , I wouldn 't have been able to eat without help . I can 't feature them doing that either . " George agreed with that . He told me , " So far , I know lf at least three people that have been fired over this . That orderly was the first , and the person who authorized the restraints was one of them too . I think they also fired an admitting clerk for not notifying the V . A . " I 'd injured it while I was in the Army , and it had never healed right . I was twenty percent for that alone , and another ten percent for the right wrist which I 'd broken . I had a lot of fun between the two at times . I stayed with Sally as much as I could , only going home to shower and sleep for short periods of time . When ever I wanted to come back , someone would always be willing to bring me be it George , Janny or Erica . Someone was always there and always willing to play chauffer for me . I don 't know how much time passed , but I tried to be there whenever Sally woke up . She seemed to wake up more often and stay awake for longer periods . This was a good sign , the specialist told me . She 'd had a severe concussion and some mild bruising of the brain , but he said she 'd make a complete recovery . She 'd just have to take it easy for awhile . I told him that I 'd make sure of that . I wasn 't going to let her get hurt again if I could help it . Almost loosing her once was enough . Eventually , they let her go home . When we got her there , all her friends were waiting for her in front of the house . Every body came up and gave her a hug and welcomed her home , then they did the same to me . When everybody had finished with all the hugging and welcoming and such , we went out back where they had food waiting . George pushed me and I held Sally on my good leg . I wasn 't going to let her go just yet . When we got to the back , I saw at least two tables loaded with food . George pushed us to another one , and left us there . He said that he 'd get us something to eat . Sally got up and went and got a chair to sit in . She put it next to me and sat down beside me . After that , things got kind of fuzzy again . I don 't remember much until the next day . When Janny came in , I told her about the episodes I 'd been having lately and she said , " I 've expected that . The specialist that 's been treating Sally has also been watching you . George got your medical records released to him , and after checking them and observing you he said to expect it . " " He said that because of the stress with Sally , and your own injury you 'd be having a bit of trouble for awhile . So don 't worry . I 'm not going to loose you . " I said , " Ok , but I want to talk to that doctor . Can you take me in the next time Sally goes ? " " If that 's what you want , then no problem . The V . A . is footing the bill anyway and I think they 're billing that first hospital . Serve them right if so . " That was a relief to know . I 'd wondered how much this would cost me since I don 't have any actual medical insurance . Rather hard to get when you 're listed as permanently disabled . I thanked her and went back to watching T . V . on that big plasma they 'd gotten me . I 'd know about the stuff for Sally , but that t . v . was still a surprise . When we 'd walked into the room , I thought it was an animated picture until they told me . It was still a bit early for Sally to be getting up , and the other kids that were around were being quiet so as not to wake her . We 'd all been letting her sleep as much as she wanted and like when I first came here , there was always someone watching her when she was up and about . We 'd all been worried sick about her while she was in the hospital , but she now seemed on the mend . Shortly after my conversation with Janny , she got up and joined me by the t . v . She seemed much more like her old self , and looked a lot better . As we sat watching the tube , she asked me why I 'd gone into the pool after her . I told her that I did it because she was my friend . I explained how a true friend would help no matter the cost . If someone you care for needs help the only consideration is how , not cost . There is no price on friendship . I also told her how I 'd grown to love her like a daughter . I didn 't have any children of my own and hadn 't even seen my nieces and nephews or any of my family except my aunt since before I went to Iraq over two years ago . I told her how lonely I 'd been in the hospital after they shipped me back , and that she and her family were the first people that came to visit me just to see how I was doing . I hadn 't known at the time that the government hadn 't informed my emergency contacts about what had happened , and I thought they didn 't care about me anymore . When she 'd jumped up that first time to push me outside , and said that it was her job now , I 'd felt like I 'd just seen the sun for the first time . She was that light . I got up and went to my desk where I 'd but the medals they gave me after Iraq , and got out the Navy Cross . I walked back and gave it to her . When she told me that she couldn 't except it , I explained why I 'd gone after George . It hadn 't been about anything more complicated than the fact that he was a friend . He and I became friends after he and his men had been assigned as my escorts while I was moving around Bagdad fixing and installing computer systems for the Iraqi government . George was just that kind of outgoing friendly person you had to like from the start . byRoadbug © 2 comments / 9788 views / 3 favoritesShare the loveTweetReport a BugSubmit bug reportNext2 Pages : 1212GoLogin or Sign UpStoriesPoemsStory SeriesTags PortalChatForumAdult StoreMoviesWebcamsMobile VersionFAQSearchEnglish | Spanish | German | French | Dutch | Other languagesAll contents © Copyright 1998 - 2012 . Literotica is a trademark . 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On a rainy Wednesday in April , a young man took shelter inside a flower shop . He wanted to visit the shop before , but flowers were outside his interest and going inside was awkward . With the rain , he had a perfect excuse . He rushed inside . The shop was bigger than he expected . It looked tiny from the outside , but the space within was more than double what it appeared to be from the streets . The walls and floor were a rich , dark wood and the lights had a soft , yellow glow that gave the entire place a warm , safe feeling to it . Where there weren 't potted plants , seeds , and cut flowers , paintings and photographs of flowers decorated the walls . The florist didn 't notice him come in , being busy organizing something from behind the counter . He was glad to be unnoticed . The young man loitered around in front of the bouquet display . Now that he was finally there , he didn 't know what to do . The florist finally noticed him and sensed his growing anxiety . The florist walked over to the new customer . " Do you need any help finding something , sir ? " " Ah . . . well , I don 't know . . . um . . . " He scratched the back of his head . " I 'm not really sure what I 'm looking for . " " Perhaps I can help you . Is there a particular occasion ? " The florist asked . " There 's this girl I 've been hanging out with lately and I like her a lot . . . we 're friends right now and I don 't want to rush things . . . but I want to give her something , to you know , give her a hint I want to get closer ? " He stuttered through his words . As he spoke , he thought of her . Her kind smile reminded him of sunny days and her voice was like a light rain , gentle and calm . Thinking about her only made speaking harder for him . " She really loves plants . I actually met her at a research club meeting . . . . She wants to study them . . . uh , I thought a flower might be a good gift , but I 've only ever given girls bouquets . Plants aren 't really my thing . . . Um . . . " " Hmm , does she have a garden or room to grow any plants where she lives ? " The florist looked around the shop at his stock . The florist wanted to laugh , but kept his amusement at the young man 's awkwardness a secret . " She has a garden . She takes care of her grandmother after school , so she lives at her house . " " I see . " The florist walked over to the miniature roses . He picked up one of the yellow bushes and one of the pink roses . " Roses are always a popular gift . Since she loves plants and gardening , she may enjoy a living plant more than a bouquet . As for the color , that depends on the message you want to convey to her . Do you still want to be friends at this stage or hint to her you 're interesting in dating ? " The young man thought it over . He did want to start dating , but he was too nervous to ask her out yet , and the idea of even hinting at it only terrified him . " I think . . . right now , I still want to be friends . " " I would give her this one then . " The florist handed him the yellow rose bush . " Of course , if you know of any flowers she likes . . . " " I can 't really remember . I 'm not good with names either . . . " She had mentioned a few to him , but he was too busy staring at her to pay attention to what she said . All he could remember was the word " gold " . " This should do just as well . Is there anything else you 'd like help with ? " He placed the miniature yellow rose on the counter and went back behind the counter to ring the customer up . " No , that 's all . " The young man stood in front the counter and looked down at the tiny rosebush . He was already nervous about giving it to her . The florist smiled at him . " I 'll ring you up then . That 'll be five fifty . " " Thank you , uh . . . " The young man looked down at the florist 's name tag . He stopped himself before attempting to say it . " I 'm sorry , I think I 'll butcher your name if I try to say it . " The florist looked down at the name tag and gave a half - hearted smile again . This was nothing new . " The J is pronounced like an H , if that 's what you were wondering . " " Oh , okay . Jacinto . Is that a Spanish name ? " The young man asked as he handed the florist the money . He hadn 't heard the name before . " Yes . I wish you luck with your lady friend . " The florist took the money and bagged the plant for him . " Thanks . " The young man took the bag and went back out into the rain . Once he was out of sight , the florist wondered if the man would return . So few of his customers did these days , and his income was dwindling . He was considering closing up shop for good if it continued on for another year . Cut flowers were more popular than garden flowers , and most supermarkets sold what he had for cheaper . For the average customer , there was no use in telling them there were differences in quality and conditions kept in . They didn 't care . Money ruled in the end , as it was ruling over him then . Jacinto got out the sale stickers and put them out in silence . A month later , the young man returned to the little shop . This time , he was determined to buy a bouquet . He picked out one of red and pink roses and went over to the counter . Jacinto was surprised to see the man again since the man didn 't have any interest in flowers . He was glad to see anyone walk through the door , and even more to see a face he recognized . " We meet again . " Jacinto greeted him . " Yes , we do . " The man had a big grin on his face . His return to the shop was not from interest in the quality of the plants there . He thought if he bought flowers from the same place , it might bring him luck on the date since she loved the roses he gave her before so much . It was superstitious , but he couldn 't help himself . " I take it things are going well . " Jacinto rang up the bouquet . " You could say that . We have a date tonight . " The aura the man was projecting was so warm Jacinto didn 't want him to leave . Jacinto silently wondered if the plants could feel it too and might grow just a little bit more from it . " I see . Good luck to you . " " Thanks ! " After he paid , the young man cheerfully picked up the bouquet and went on his way . Once he was gone , the store felt a little dimmer . Jacinto looked over the previous week 's profit . He sighed . He rearranged the paintings on the wall in hopes of making his surroundings a bit warmer again . In appearance , the store looked cozy to him , but the warm was draining out . If his store was the earth , he want planting in the wrong kind of soil . Everything was withering away . The following week , the young man was back again . His nervousness about the girl and the store had both left him now . The store was a familiar place now . He said hello to Jacinto when he walked into the door and went straight to asking for what he wanted to buy . " Uh , do you have . . . " The young man pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket . " Marigolds or dahlias ? " " Let me see . " Jacinto typed on the computer behind the counter . " I have marigold seeds and dahlia bulbs , but I don 't have any young plants if that 's what you 're looking for . " " That 's fine . She 'd probably like it more that way . " The young man said . Jacinto gave him a sly look . " So , this is for that girl again , huh ? " " Her birthday 's in a few days . Marigolds are her favorites and I know she mentioned liking dahlias . " " Which would you like to purchase ? " Jacinto walked to the back of the store to get the marigold seeds and dahlia bulbs for the man . " Actually , I think I want to buy them both . Do you have any of those miniature roses in orange ? She loves orange roses . Oh , with the marigolds and dahlias , do you have those in orange too ? " Since they started dating , he made a point to write down everything she liked so he could keep surprising her with gifts . He couldn 't pamper her enough . It hadn 't been that long since they met , but ever since that day , she was always in his thoughts . She was beautiful , but more than that , he found himself entranced anytime she spoke about her passions . She had a commanding presence in spite of her soft voice . He always found himself swept away in her current . " Hmm . . . let 's see . . . Looks like you 're in luck . " Jacinto grabbed one of each plant , the healthiest looking two he could find . He handed them to the young man . " Here . " " Thank you . " The young man thanked him . Jacinto pointed to the front of the store before heading back behind the counter . " And the miniature roses are over there . There should be a few orange ones left . " The young man grabbed the biggest one and paid for the plants . He left the store with a big grin on his face . As the man left , Jacinto felt his store grow dimmer again . Business was slow that week . He marked down some of his rarer items in the store . Two weeks from then , the young man returned again . He bought another bouquet , this time of only red roses . Jacinto rang up the flowers . He gave the young man a sideways glance and a smirk . " Back again . Big date ? " " We 're going out somewhere special tonight . " The young man 's energy shined brighter than anything in the store . Jacinto hoped his flowers would grow more from that invisible light . When the man left again , the sharp contrast between that young man 's radiance and the fading warmth of his store hit him harder than before . He changed out the paintings on the wall again , cleaned the storefront windows , and replaced all of the light bulbs . Afterwards , he put out more sale stickers . A month passed before the young man came to the shop again . The moment the young man walked in the door , all of Jacinto 's attention shifted to him . He greeted him . " It 's been a while . " " Yeah , I 've been really busy lately . " The young man said . " What can I do for you today ? " Jacinto stepped out from behind the counter to meet him in the middle of the store . " She wants to grow a willow tree in the garden . " " I don 't have any small willows in the store , but I can place an order for you to get one . It should take about a week to get here . " Jacinto went back behind the counter . The young man followed him over to the counter . " That 's fine . " " Alright . Let me to do that real quick . " He started up the order . A part of him was secretly excited about this . He kept his excitement hidden . " Okay , I need a name and phone number . I 'll call you when it arrives . " " So , your name is Haul . Well , expect a call around next Wednesday . I 'll probably call you between ten and noon . " " Thanks . " Haul paid and left . The following week , on Wednesday , Jacinto called at eleven . Haul arrived thirty minutes later . Today , he didn 't bring any warmth with him . His shoulder slouched and his eyes were dull . " Here it is . " Jacinto presented him with the young willow . He kept his voice soft . " Is something wrong ? You look a bit down . " " My girlfriend 's grandmother was admitted to the hospital last night . She 's stable right now , but she 's a very old woman . " Haul said . The old woman had been in his life in less time than his girlfriend , but the two had hit it off and she approved of their relationship . She jokingly started calling him " grandson " not that long ago . His girlfriend hadn 't left her grandmother 's side since she was taken to the hospital . He worried how her heart would break when the inevitable time came . Jacinto didn 't know how to comfort him . His only connection to Haul was selling him flowers . He gave him a canned response . " Oh , I 'm sorry to hear that . I hope she gets better . " The two parted quietly . Two weeks later , Haul was back . His mood was even lower than before . Jacinto could read exactly what had happened . Haul 's voice was low and somber as he spoke . " I want to order some lilies . Her grandmother didn 't make it . " " She 's taking it pretty badly . She was really close to her grandmother . " Haul found her every morning crying in the bathroom . He tried holding her , but she kept him at a distance . " Poor thing . You must be there for her while she grieves . The pain will heal in time . " " I know , but I hate seeing her like this . I wish I could make her happy . " Haul sighed . " Now 's not the time for that . She needs to properly grieve . That 's just part of the process . " Jacinto wanted to put his hand on Haul 's to comfort him , but he didn 't think they were close enough for that . " I know . . . sorry , you probably don 't want to hear about any of this . " Haul stepped back from the counter and stared down at the floor . " No , it 's fine . I don 't get many customers here . Sometimes , it gets a little lonely . " Jacinto said one thing more than he intended to . There was no taking it back once it was there . He was a little embarrassed at the omission . " You work a lot of days ? " Haul asked . " I 'm the owner . And currently , the only employee , so yes . " When the store was doing well , he had four other employees . That was around when he first opened up the shop . The neighborhood was different then . He received a lot of business from tourists wanting to start their own garden after visiting the botanical garden that used to be two blocks over . The following year , many of the businesses nearby changed frequently and the year after that , the botanical garden shut down due to lack of funds . He had no choice but to let go of the other employees when business dropped to its lowest point . He simply couldn 't afford it . Right now , he was barely making ends meet . " That 's rough . " Haul didn 't need to know the full story . He could already guess . Finding his current job had been difficult , and he didn 't have enough money to live on his own . He moved in with his girlfriend not long ago and helped pay the bills . Before that , he 'd been renting with three other guys . He wasn 't too worried about his situation though . His parents were always supportive of him . If worst came to worst and he couldn 't find a place or lost his job , he knew they 'd put him up for a while until he could . " I hope things start getting better soon . This recession feels like it 's been going on forever . " " It pays the bills . " Jacinto wanted to add " for now " but left that out . He tried to steer the conversation into a more professional tone . " Is there anything else I can get for you today ? " " Not right now . " Jacinto finished up the order and set the flowers to be delivered to Haul 's girlfriend 's house , as requested . Three months passed before Haul returned again . In that time in between , he had the roughest weeks of business he had since that last time when he had to lay off his employees . For three of those weeks , he was in the red . He negotiated to get an extension on rent bill and put everything in the store on sale . On a Wednesday , Haul returned . His energy was completely different from the last time . The sun couldn 't have outshone him was how Jacinto felt . Haul went straight to the counter . He had a goofy smile on his face . " I need to order a special bouquet . " " What 's the occasion ? " Jacinto 's mood was immediately elevated . Haul cleared his throat and grinned . He said in a smug tone , " My wedding . " " More nervous than excited at this point . . . " Haul scratched the back of his head . His face was bright red . " I 'm sure everything will work out fine . " Jacinto reassured him . For the next several months , Haul stopped in regularly . He didn 't always buy anything , sometimes coming just to see what new plants Jacinto had in stock . From living with his wife , he learned a lot about plants , what their names were and how to grow them . The language of flowers was still foreign to him . He was starting to understand what his wife and Jacinto found so interesting about them . The conversations between customer and shop owner shifted away from plants and gardening to more personal matters . Haul always had plenty to share about his wife and their plans together . Jacinto found Haul 's adoration of his wife endearing . His eyes lit up whenever he mentioned her . As for Jacinto 's personal life , he kept quiet about that , choosing to listen attentively to Haul 's stories rather than contribute his own . Haul didn 't notice , as he was always caught up in whatever story he was recounting . One day , on a Wednesday in July , a thunderstorm rolled in over the town while Haul was visiting the shop . He only came to browse that day and ended up chatting with Jacinto at the counter for a while . Jacinto looked out the window . The rain poured down in sheets . One gust of wind slammed the door open . Jacinto ran to close it and locked it shut . " It 's really coming down out there . You might want to wait before going back out or get a ride . You can use the shop 's phone if you can 't get a signal . " " How long do you think it 's going to last like that ? " Haul watched the rain . If he went out there now , he would be completely drenched with his umbrella . His wife wasn 't home to give him a ride and he didn 't want to bother any of his friends for something like that . Jacinto checked the weather through the store 's computer . " Hmm , looks like it 's supposed to clear up in about an hour . I 'm about to go on break . Would you like to stay a while ? I was going to make tea . " " Well , I guess so . . . I don 't have work or class today . You sure that 's fine ? " Haul asked . " Trust me , I 'd die for any company . I don 't have the money to hire more people right now , so it 's always just me here , every day , and I don 't really have many regular customers . It gets a little lonely . " Jacinto laughed it off , but he really did want Haul to stay a little longer out of loneliness . He loved the plants in the store . Being around them made him happy , but it didn 't compare to being around another human . Jacinto led Haul into the back room of the store . Haul was surprised by its appearance . Much like the customer end of the store , it had a warm , yellow feeling to it . Dark wood and a faded floral wallpaper decorated the walls . The floor in this room was carpet instead of wood . An odd choice , but his feet appreciated the softness of it . The room 's lights gave off a soft glow , the room neither bright nor dark . He sat down on a light brown couch and watched Jacinto work at a counter at the other side of the room . " What are you doing ? " Haul asked , curious why Jacinto was pulling petals off of several roses . " I 'm making rose tea . " Jacinto dropped the petals in the pot . " I 've never had that before . " " You want to see something neat ? " Jacinto waved for Haul to come over . Haul got up and walked to the counter . When Haul was close enough to see , Jacinto showed him the inside of the kettle . " Watch as they boil . The red bleeds out into the water and all that 's left behind are white petals . " " White ? " Haul looked closer . He saw the red petals in the pot floating along the surface of the boiling water . Beads of red formed on top of the petals , then slid away until there was no red left . " Look . The red is gone . " Jacinto put the top back on . When the tea was done , Jacinto transfered the liquid to a small teapot and then filled two porcelain cups . Jacinto handed the cup to Haul , tilting it slightly to expose the rich color of the tea . " And here it is , the red . " " That 's interesting . I didn 't know the color would come out like that . " Haul took his cup and added cream and sugar . The taste was pleasant and the tea carried the distinct aroma of roses . He wanted to show this to his wife some day , since she loved teas as well . He sat back down on the couch . " That 's a daffodil , right ? You have another picture of them up front by the register too . Is that one new ? I don 't remember it from the last time I visited . " " It 's new . I wanted something new up there . I change the pictures out every so often to liven up the place . " Jacinto sipped on his tea , his back turned to Haul . Wanting to make conversation , Haul asked , " Daffodils , is there any kind of lore behind those ? " " It 's said that you should never give a single daffodil , but many , because to give only one invites bad luck . The flower is also associated with unrequited love . " Jacinto looked through the cut roses laying out across the counter . He picked out one . " Oh ? Why 's that ? " it " The genus the daffodil is part of , Narcissus , is named for the greek hunter Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection . Narcissus was loved by the wood nymph Echo , but her love could never be reciprocated , nor could Narcissus 's love for his reflection . It 's a story of unrequited love . Though Echo was a later addition . Narcissus had a different suitor in the original tale , and Echo . . . well , she meets a different fate in the story of her and Pan . " Jacinto trailed off his story . If he didn 't stop himself , he could go on about old myths and lore for hours . " Greek mythology 's never been a strong point of mine , or flower lore it seems . Between you and my wife , I hear a new story for every flower . " Haul finished off his tea . " Flowers have been the subject of folklore since the dawn of time . Ones for love , ones for death , ones for healing , ones for eternity . Every plant has a story . " Jacinto presented Haul with a single yellow rose . " My loyal customer , this gift is for you . Do you remember the meaning behind this one ? " Haul thought back to the first day he came to the store . He knew this meaning . " Friendship ? " " You 've been my customer for a very long time . I said earlier I don 't have very many regulars . Most customers just come here and complain they can buy flowers cheaper at the grocery store . Thank you for being so loyal . " Jacinto glanced out the the door at the front windows . The rain had stopped . " It 's cleared up now . You might want to head out before it starts up again . " " Really ? " Haul got up from the couch and headed for the door . He looked down at the flower and then back at Jacinto . " Thank you , for the gift and the tea . " Three years passed before Jacinto revealed anything more about himself . On that day , it was raining again and Haul was hanging around , waiting for the weather to change . They made idle conversation for a while . Haul leaned against the counter . " You changed the flowers again . They 're all different ones now . " " Yes . I thought it might look nice if I displayed several very distinct flowers at once . " Jacinto pointed out some of the new pictures on the wall . " These are amaryllis here . The ones by the door are snowdrops . Unfortunately , I can 't sell those in the store . These are harebells . I have a few of those in the back . And those just across from us , one of my favorites , bleeding hearts . Aptly named for their beautiful heart shape . " The colors reminded Haul of the fuchsia flowers hanging on the front porch of his house . His wife loved the colors . He wondered if she would love those too . Haul realized his penchant for gushing about his wife at this point , and changed the subject to Jacinto . " They 're very pretty . So , what is your favorite flower ? " " Roses , of every variety . My grandmother used to have many wild roses growing behind her house . I 'd spend hours out there playing , pretending to look for fairies and dragons . " Jacinto said . That was the first time Jacinto had mentioned anything about his personal life to Haul . He wasn 't going to make light of the opportunity . He pressed for more details . " You spent a lot of time at your grandmother 's house , huh ? " " My father died in combat shortly after I was born . My mother was always working long hours . She 'd leave me with my paternal grandmother most days until she died when I was a teenager . She lived a short walk from the house so it was really convenient . I lived overseas then . After my grandmother died , we moved back to the states where most of my mother 's family lives . " That move seemed like a distant memory now . He always had one foot in both cultures , never fitting right in either country . He was bothered by that as a child , but it didn 't faze him now . " You miss her still ? " Haul asked . " I do , at times . She died peacefully in her sleep . I remember before she passed , she told me to plant some asphodels for her by her window . I didn 't pick up on then what she was trying to tell me . " Jacinto said . Like most flower lore , what Jacinto was implying flew over Haul 's head . " You 're going to have to explain that one to me . " " Asphodels are the flowers of the underworld . It was said Persephone wore a crown of them . My grandmother was quietly trying to tell me her time was coming . " Jacinto 's last memory of her was placing asphodels on her coffin . " For her , I 've been embarking on an impossible journey since then . She loves roses too . She used to always tell me stories about blue roses . I promised her I 'd show her a real one , but blue roses are a natural impossibility . " Jacinto explained . " Those roses have dyed petals . The closest anyone 's actually gotten to making a " blue " rose are more of a purple shade than being truly blue . It 's foolish , but I 've been attempting it myself . I know even if I succeed , I can never show them to her . She 's gone . But the her alive in my memories hasn 't faded . I know how she would feel if I completed that goal . For that , I keep trying . " " Have you had any luck ? " Haul asked . Jacinto walked out from behind the counter and led Haul to the back room . He opened up another door into a much smaller room . It was a growth room filled with lavender colored roses . " This is the best I 've done . Still purple . " Jacinto felt over the petals of his failure . " A Herculean task . I should have promised her amaranths . " " It 's still a beautiful color . I think she would be proud of this . " Haul knew his wife would find Jacinto 's work interesting . She would probably tell him it was an impossibility too , but she was also a hopeless romantic . The impossibility of the whole affair would only pique her interest more . He wanted to show the flowers to her . Perhaps in time he could convince Jacinto to let him have one of the plants . " Yes , I know she would be . " Jacinto closed the room up and looked though the doorway that connected the back room and the main store . " Oh , the rain 's stopped . You 're free . I suppose I should get back to work . " " I 'll see you again soon . " Haul waved as he went on his way . In late December , Haul came into the store pale and with a look of terror in his eyes . Jacinto immediately went over to him to see what was wrong . " Are you alright ? Did something happen ? " He asked . Haul tried to hide how afraid he was , but it kept slipping out in his facial expressions . He nearly choked on his words . " My wife 's been sick lately . I 've been planting flowers for her . She wants lilies , as many colors as you have . " " Lilies . I 'll see what I 've got . " Jacinto finished up the order quickly . " Will you be alright going home alone ? You look sickly yourself . " " I 'll be alright , but thanks . " Haul didn 't stay around to chat that day . Jacinto wouldn 't see Haul again for three months . This time , he came in with empty eyes . All the warmth that used to radiate from him was gone . This time , Jacinto did not rush over to him . He was afraid what his friend was going to tell him . Meekly , he said , " It 's been a while . How are things going ? Is your wife better ? " " She 's been in and out of the hospital for a while now . Nothing 's working anymore . " Haul faced the floor . " Oh , I 'm sorry . I shouldn 't have asked . " " No , it 's alright . We 've decided to have her stay home at this point . " What he couldn 't say hurt Haul more than the words he managed to push forward . Jacinto 's voice was barely above a whisper . " I see . " Haul looked up at Jacinto . No one else would understand the meaning of what he was going to say , and he was grateful for that . It spared him from having to explain the painful inevitability awaiting him . " She wants asphodels . She wants me to plant them by her window so she can watch them grow . " " I have some in stock . " Jacinto understood and didn 't ask any further questions . He offered Haul another plant . " Take this too . These are on me . " " What are they ? " Haul asked . " Amaranths . Amaranths stand for eternity . She will know their meaning . " Jacinto placed his hand on Haul 's to comfort him . " Thank you . " Haul felt a knot in his throat . He swallowed hard . " I 'm not sure when I 'll be back next . " " I understand . Take this as well . " Haul took a cut yellow rose from behind the counter and handed it to Haul . " My thoughts go out to you and your wife , my dear friend . " Jacinto assumed that would be the last time Haul would visit . A little more than a year passed by quietly without Haul 's presence . Business picked up , but the store remained lonely . With his current income , he was at a point where he might be able to hire a part - time worker . He wrote up the ad . When he went to put it up , he kept hesitating and sunk back into his seclusion . He knew he wasn 't entitled to know . Jacinto debated with himself about calling Haul to check on him , see if anything ever improved with his wife , but he always stopped himself . He didn 't belong in Haul 's life in that way . While he called Haul his friend , he doubted Haul seriously thought of them as so . They were customer and store owner , a relationship built upon by business . The talks they had were only typical interactions between loyal customers and employees , nothing more . All the paintings in the store were taken down . There was no flower that felt right upon the walls of the store . Though he knew he may be waiting in vain , Jacinto always watched the front door for that familiar face . On a Wednesay in April , during a light rain shower , that familiar face returned . Jacinto couldn 't believe it . He met Haul halfway from the counter . " It 's been a long time , Haul . " " Yes , it has . " Haul was still pale . Heavy bags lined his eyes . " How are you ? " Jacinto asked . " I 'm doing . . . alright . . . " Haul forced out his words . Tears welled in his eyes . " We did a cremation . We held a service three months ago in the garden . " " I am sorry for your loss . " Jacinto stood awkwardly . He wasn 't sure what he should do . " I just . . . wish she would have told me sooner about her condition . She was suffering more than she let on . If I had known . . . I would have stayed with her more . . . I would . . . " A tear slid down Haul 's face . He quickly wiped it away , embarrassed he cried in public again . " She probably wanted her remaining time to be as normal as possible . " Jacinto hoped his words might ease Haul 's pain , if only a little . " Yeah . . . you know , even near the end , she would still ask me to take her out to the garden to sit or try to prune the plants . " Briefly , a kind smile appeared on Haul 's face . It faded as quickly as it appeared . " She asked me to spread her ashes out in the garden , like she did with her grandmother . I haven 't done it yet . . . it 's still too painful for me . " " In time , it 'll fade . You don 't have to rush it . She would understand you putting it off . " " I know . " Haul wiped away another tear . " I 'm not . . . really sure why I came here today . I don 't want to buy anything . For some reason , I felt like . . . I needed to tell you what happened . " Jacinto knew this was coming . He didn 't want it to end like this , but it was better than waiting forever without any closure . He gave Haul a half - hearted smile . " This is goodbye , isn 't it ? " " I don 't know . . . I never brought her here , but . . . when I think about this place , my mind is filled with her . They 're mostly happy memories , but all thoughts of her hurt right now . " Haul couldn 't bring himself to set foot in their garden . A heavy guilt at neglecting the plants weighed on him . He was shutting everything away related to her . Since she passed away , he began sleeping in the guest room . His own home was pain . " It 's alright . All things come to an end , my friend . That 's how life is . " Jacinto kept a strong face in front of Haul . He took a cut rose from behind the counter and handed it to him . " Here . Take this . My parting gift to you . " Haul took the yellow rose . He twirled it in his hands , the color making him nostalgic . The pain of the past being gone filled him , but in those petals , he found a warmth that rose just above that pain . He held back his tears . " I remember the first time you gave me one of these as a gift . That was the first time you called me your friend . " " You remembered . . . " Jacinto smiled again . That was a special memory for him too . " Yeah . She teased me about me getting a rose from a guy . " Haul gave a little laugh thinking back on her reaction . " She asked if you gave me a discount and laughed . Thank you . I think I 'm going to go now . " " Take care . " Jacinto 's mask was starting to crack . He did his best to keep his composure . " You too . " With that , Haul left the store . He started walking home , wondering if he would ever come that way again . That was the only store on that street he visited . His heart was still debating over whether to move into a new home or not . Haul intended to keep his promise to his wife to scatter her ashes into the garden , and that promise kept him bound to the house . He didn 't want to be apart from her . Living there without her warm presence wasn 't the same . She was the one missing , but he felt like a ghost in his own home . He was endlessly haunting , searching for a vision of the world that no longer existed . Haul stopped and looked down at the yellow rose in his hand . The edges of the petals were already starting to wither away . He remembered his wife 's joke and laughed again . With light feet , he walked back to the shop . Jacinto jumped at the door opened . He turned away for a second to wipe his face and greeted Haul . " You 're back . Did you forget something ? " " The rain 's coming down really hard . It 'd probably be a good idea if I waited here a while before leaving . " The rain wasn 't any heavier . It was barely a drizzle . Haul lingered by the door . " Are you busy right now ? " " No , why ? " Jacinto asked . " Do you remember when you made rose tea for me ? I think that might be nice right about now . " Haul smiled at him . The warmth he felt when he looked into the flower earlier was spreading . Jacinto returned his smile . " Let 's go to the back . " The two walked side by side into the back . Jacinto picked out several dark red roses to use for the tea . He pulled away the petals and boiled them . Haul watched beside him . When the tea was done , Jacinto poured them both a cup . Haul looked at the petals floating in the brew . " The petals are white now . It 's strange to think they were dark red before . " Haul poured a little bit of creamer and sugar into his cup . He slyly asked Jacinto a question . " Can you use any kind of rose for this ? " " Yes . " Jacinto replied . Haul set a trap for the lore obsessed florist . " Why do you always pick red ? " " I think it makes the tea a very beautiful shade , don 't you ? " Jacinto stirred his own tea , not making eye contact . " Yes , it does . " Haul took a seat on the couch . " When you perfect that blue rose , I want to try tea made from those petals . " " That 's quite the thing to ask for . I don 't know if I 'll ever be able to accomplish that . " Jacinto joined him . " Does that really matter ? " " No , I suppose it doesn 't . " Jacinto put his cup of tea down on the coffee table in front of the couch . He turned to face Haul . " I thought you were saying goodbye . " Haul looked away at a plant growing in the corner of the room . The last two times he was in that room , he didn 't know the name . " Hyacinths . That 's the flower you 're named after , right ? " " Yes . My mother was fond of them . " Jacinto said . " They 're very beautiful . " Haul took another sip of his tea . He looked down at his reflection in the cup and said , " You know , I 've been looking for a second job to earn some extra money . Do you have any openings ? " Jacinto 's eyes lit up at those words . He hid his true feelings and kept his response humble . " I could use some help actually , but I can 't pay you much . " " That 's fine . I don 't need much . " Haul drank his tea slowly , taking in the sweet red taste and perfume - like scent . The rain against the old roof lulled him into a calm state . He watched Jacinto out of the corner of his eye . Haul doubted the man would ever be able to create that perfect blue rose , but in his mind , Haul could see exactly the shade his reflection would be in that cup . The flavor would be no different than the drink in his hand , but somehow , he knew something would change . |
Next » The Littlest Carpenter Published April 30 , 2012 | By Caryn When my nephew , Barry was just a little boy , he and his mom lived with her parents . As far as Barry was concerned , his grandpa was the greatest thing since sliced bread . Barry was determined to be just like his grandpa ! ! My father - in - law was building a house on their land when Barry was just about 1 year old … just old enough to want to help . When my father - in - law was doing the preparatory work Barry wanted to be with him . He wanted to know all about the cool things his grandpa was doing , especially since he had no intention of going to school or anything like that . He was going too be far to busy being Grandpa 's partner . In building a house , you have to have the right tools for the job . You can 't expect to build a house with a nail file , or paint with a toothbrush . The right tools are vital to the success of the entire project . A good carpenter has tools that are well fitted to his hands and to his way of working . He has a team of workers who know their job and work together to get the job done . Each person helps the others to do the job right . That said , Barry had his own tools . He had the little wooden hammer he used on one of his toys , and since some of his other toys included tools , I 'm sure he had a little toy saw , shovel , pliers , wrench , and many other tools that he figured might come in handy in this endeavour . Barry put his tools to work whenever he could find someone to lift him up to the work area so he could get at it . The home plans will always include plenty of storage space , because everyone knows that storage space is vital . Barry considered himself the Foreman of the storage areas , I think . He had to make sure they were the right size , because a storage area that couldn 't hold it 's foreman was … well , simply too small . There are lots of times that a guy needs to get into those cupboards , and cramped space in there is just not acceptable . So Barry was the Foreman and also the Inspector of the storage areas . Yes , building a home is a big job . Being the foreman on such a job usually means plenty of stress , so one final thing that Barry learned from his grandpa about the right way to be a carpenter , was that you have to take time out for occasional breaks . So , every once in a while , Barry would find a cupboard to hide out in for a while , and the most important item to have in that space was the thing we all know helps with the stress of any job … the Folger 's Coffee ! ! It can be the only thing that lies between a man and his sanity . Leave a comment My Stubborn Side Published April 29 , 2012 | By Caryn Writing about my own birthday seems … odd somehow . I was due on April 27th , which is my dad 's birthday , but I was … to quote what my dad used to say about me … stubborn , and I refused to arrive on schedule . Ok , ok , I know I 'm a stubborn person … I always was , and it has not always been a bad thing . I stubbornly stick to something until I succeed at it , which in my opinion is a good thing . Still , my stubbornness wasn 't always completely welcomed in my parents house , when I was younger . I was a debater , which my parents always called arguing … imagine that ! ! I simply had my own ideas , and somehow I think they just didn 't understand that . My dad probably gave me a little more leeway on the debates than my mom would have liked , and much more than my sisters expected me to live through . But , somehow , I survived my childhood , without my parents killing me for my stubbornness , and managed to move into adulthood . I think it was in my adulthood that I grew into my stubbornness , so to speak . I have always hated losing , and it was my stubbornness that makes me keep trying and working at something until I succeed at it . I have always felt that my stubbornness is a big part of why my marriage worked … that and the fact that Bob has the same kind of stubbornness that I do , and that he hates to lose too . Of course , like everyone who is married , I have read all kids of opinions on what makes a marriage work , but I believe that if you don 't stubbornly determine to make a marriage work , it simply won 't . No one can keep up with all the steps to a successful marriage … at least not if they are going to live life . You just have to love each other and decide that you will accept who your spouse is and learn to get along . Of course , loving your spouse involves some of the steps to a successful marriage , but I think they happen spontaneously … not by planning . My stubbornness plays a role in my career too . It is what makes me work hard , and makes me determined to succeed . It is also that stubbornness that makes me fight for the health of those I love . As a caregiver , I hate to have to put my mom or in - laws in the hospital . I want them to be healthy , and it infuriates me when I can 't keep them healthy , but I rejoice when I am able to bring them home and watch them get strong again . I know that most people look at stubbornness as being a negative thing , and something to be avoided , but not me . I have learned to live with my stubbornness , and even to be thankful for it . It has defined me so to speak . I suppose that is because there are good kinds of stubbornness and bad kinds of stubbornness , and I have chosen to make my stubbornness work in a good way . 2 Comments A Real Trooper Published April 28 , 2012 | By Caryn In March of this year , my mother - in - law was in the hospital twice . The second hospital stay was followed by a little more than a two week stay in a nursing home … supposedly for rehab / physical therapy . That stay in a skilled nursing facility nearly killed her . After taking her out of the nursing home , she would have two more hospital stays . After the first one , they wanted to put her in a skilled nursing facility . After I told them about the horrible care she received and what we could do for her , her case worker agreed that we could do a better job of caring for her than any nursing facility could . Now I know that you are thinking you might be reading the first negative post from me , but that is as far from the truth as it gets . Yes , my mother - in - law has been very sick and even close to death a couple of times , but as of this writing , she is doing well . I have been so pleased with her progress . She has Alzheimer 's Disease , as most of you know , and she doesn 't always understand the importance of some of the things she needs to do to recover , like wearing oxygen and walking to get stronger . She also doesn 't understand why she feels so weak … mostly because she doesn 't know that she had Bronchitis twice , Pneumonia twice , and Pleurisy twice since February 21st . Today my mother - in - law was such a trooper . I have been making her get up and move 4 times a day … with the help of my wonderful husband , daughters , sister - in - law , and father - in - law . She didn 't want to do it , and sometimes we had to make her do it . She is one big sore muscle , truth be told . Even with all that , today that sweet woman who has been through so much over the last 2 1 / 2 months , got up every time I asked her to , walked further than she had in 2 months , cleaned up her plate at each meal ( she hasn 't had much appetite in the last two months either ) , smiled like she used to , and talked with my father - in - law ( another thing she hasn 't done much of lately ) . She worked so hard , through the pain and shortness of breath . I was so proud of her for all her hard work . The last 2 1 / 2 months have been long and hard on her , but she is a fighter , and I know she has it in her to come back from this . We will not give up , and I will fight hard to keep her out of a nursing home , because she deserves every opportunity to live at home for as long as possible . Now , as I write this I hear from my daughter that she fought her so hard tonight that she had to have her husband come to help make her get up for bed … aw well , tomorrow is another day . Leave a comment The Greatest Dad Ever Published April 27 , 2012 | By Caryn If he was still alive , my dad would have been 88 years old today . He lived such an interesting life … experienced so many things . As a young boy , he and his brother shot off dynamite and rode trains around the Wisconsin area because his dad worked for the railroad . When he was older , he worked at Douglas Aircraft Company building airplanes . During World War II , he was a top turret gunner and the flight engineer on a B17 Bomber . He traveled the United States and parts of the world . And he took his family along on as much of it as he could . We were so blessed to have Dad as our family leader . He somehow made everything alright . From the scariest situations to our fear of moths . From our concerns over imaginary bears in the campground to the very real spider that always seems to show up on occasion . Dad was an amazing problem solver . It didn 't matter what problem we had , from the simplest to the most serious , he would find a solution . He was so understanding . Dad loved to tease his girls , and he had many funny little sayings that always made us laugh . I can still hear him saying some of the things we all remember well . They were always designed to make us laugh . He was quite a joker . And he always managed to act shocked when we would tease back . There are times that I can hear his voice so clearly … almost as if he is standing next to me . And I can see the looks on his face when he was acting like we were abusive , when we flicked him with our finger … never mind the fact that it did not hurt and often , he flicked us first . He was just goofy . Dad was forever in love with Mom , and always showed her just how much she meant to him . He treated her like a princess . He was one of the last of the true gentlemen left here on Earth . A man who set a high standard for himself . There were words that he never said , because he wanted to set a good example . He was a Christian and he made sure his family was too . We all grew up knowing our Lord . My dad was the most wonderful dad that ever existed . I am so thankful that he was my dad . I will miss him for the rest of my life , but I know that there will come a day when we are all together again for eternity , and for that I am grateful . Happy birthday in Heaven Daddy ! ! I love you very much ! ! 2 Comments A Mother 's Dream Published April 26 , 2012 | By Caryn It seems like most families have one child who is the " cuddly " one . That child who loves to give hugs and kisses , and really wants to sit on your lap and just be with you . It is a mother 's dream . For my niece Jenny , and her husband , Steve , that child is their son Zachary , who is turning 7 years old today . Zack has always loved to hug his family , and it is something that always makes us feel very blessed . Don 't get me wrong , Zack is a tough little boy , and can take on his brothers with no problems . When you are the middle son in a set of three , you learn to take care of yourself … fast . Like his brothers , and most boys for that matter , Zack loves to do all the boys things . He jumps on the family trampoline , likes to play with cars , and of course , the superhero fighting stuff that it seems all boys enjoy at that age . There is just something about being the super hero that appeals to them , and it seems like they all know about lasers and special wrist guns , spider webs , and the man of steel . Like the rest of his family , Zack loves the great outdoors , and wants to be out there as much as possible . He has been blessed with a family that loves to get out and play , and that makes life just one big adventure for Zack and his brothers , Xander and Isaac . Their dad is teaching his boys to shoot guns , and be safe at it , of course . They know how to act around guns , and what not to do too , such as any kind of dangerous play with guns . And it doesn 't take summer for them to go have fun , because they totally love being waist deep in the snow up on the mountain . And if they can 't go somewhere , because their dad is working … well , Zack and his brothers will just have their own adventure out in the yard . They have a great tree for climbing , and all of the other boy things that you could ever need to let their imaginations run wild . Still , at the end of the day , or even part way through it , Zack has to take a moment or two out just to go and give his mom a hug and a kiss , because as rough and tumble as Zack is , he is still his mothers dream boy … her little cuddler , and he loves his mom so much . Really , does life get any better than that ? I don 't think so . Happy birthday Zack ! ! We love you bunches ! 2 Comments Newfound Friends And Family Published April 25 , 2012 | By Caryn When my mom married my dad , they moved from Casper , Wyoming to Superior , Wisconsin . My mom was young , and really unprepared for the loneliness she was going to feel by being so far away from her parents and their big family . My mom was the middle child in a family of 9 children , so she was used to having lots of people around her … sisters to talk to and do things with , and brothers to tease her and yet do the nicest things for her . It was all very new to her … being married , and yet very scary … being so very much on her own . When she arrived in Superior , Wisconsin … as happy as she was , being married to my dad , she was still wondering if she would be able to make it in this new place , without her family . Then she met her new sister - in - law … my Aunt Doris . Mom tells me that Aunt Doris saved her , in many ways . She was a new friend when my mom really needed one , and they became great friends … friends for life … even after my Aunt Doris and my Uncle Bill , who is my dad 's brother , divorced . Mom has told me many stories about the many escapades that she and my Aunt Doris went on . One of the funny things mom has told me about is the fact that they were always dieting … even though they weren 't really very heavy , and didn 't stick to their diets very long . I guess they thought that if they did it together , they would stick with it , and there are many people who feel that way today , although that is not particularly something that I ever found helpful . They tried several things including crackers with ketchup and warm water . Mom also saw the funnier side of my aunt . When Aunt Doris got her dirver 's license , she was driving out to meet Uncle Bill at their cabin , and she was stopped by a police officer , who informed her that she was speeding . He asked her for her license , and then had to step away from the car for a moment . Without giving him her license , Aunt Doris just left and drove on to the cabin . When she told Uncle Bill about the stop , he asked to see the ticket . She said , " What ticket ? " He said , " The ticket he gave you . " She said , " He didn 't give me a ticket . He stepped away from the car , so I just left . " Apparently , Aunt Doris thought he had decided to just forget it . Uncle Bill freaked out , thinking that the cops were going to come and arrest his wife . But the cop must have thought the whole thing was very funny , because he never came after her … a fact that I 'm sure my Uncle Bill was very surprised about . Another case of a woman getting out of a traffic ticket , but the most unusual way out of a ticket I 've ever heard of . Leave a comment Sibling Rivalry Published April 24 , 2012 | By Caryn For most of their early years , Shai would have loved to give her brother back … or ship him off … or trade him in … whatever worked . Theirs was the type of relationship that gave the term " sibling rivalry " its meaning . Shai detested Caalab 's boyish pranks , and Caalab took that as the perfect reason to pick on his big sister . It made for some explosive situations at my daughter , Amy and her husband , Travis ' home . In fact , there were times that I wondered how Amy kept her sanity . It wasn 't that Shai disliked all little boys , in fact , she loved spending time with her cousins , Chris and Josh . I guess the main problem was that Caalab like playing tricks on his sister and cousins , and it just didn 't go over very well … with any of them . I remember the fights that used to go on between the 4 of them , all too well . Sometimes , I felt like a referee when they were all at my house , and not their grandmother . Worse yet , it always seemed like Caalab was the odd man out . The rest of the kids didn 't want him to play with them , most of the time . It was tough for me , as their grandma to have all this fighting and the 3 against 1 situations that we often had . Caalab got along well with Chris , and Shai got along well with Chris and Josh , but Caalab , Shai , and Josh were like oil and vinegar . I always felt bad that Caalab was the odd man out . I would have felt bad no matter which grandchild it was . He had such a great sense of humor , but his joking often ended up looking like he was picking on the others … or picking a fight … and the biggest fights were between Shai and her little brother , Caalab . I kept trying to tell Shai that someday she would be able to tolerate her brother , and more likely she would actually even like him . Still , she was not convinced that there was any chance of that . She was sure that there was no way she would ever like her brother . A few years can make such a difference . A couple of years ago , I began to notice a moment or two when Shai and Caalab seemed to be able to sit together and laugh and talk . Sure , they were short lived moments at first , but they were moments , nevertheless . Now , Shai and her brother have achieved the impossible … or at least the impossible according to Shai . They seldom really fight anymore . Growing up some can make all the difference in the world . Leave a comment Riding The Amtrak Published April 23 , 2012 | By Caryn My dad always loved trains . As a young boy , whose dad worked for the Great Northern Railway Company , dad had a pass to ride the train where ever he needed to go . I 'm sure that his love for trains was fueled by the fact that he got to ride the train daily , a privilege that most people don 't have . Dad has told us of his days of riding the train , and it always sounded to us like he was hopping the train , not riding with a pass . He never said " hopping a train " or anything , but we always thought that was what he meant . Maybe we thought that because it always sounded like such an amazing adventure . Or maybe he and his brother did " hop the train " on occasion , just to add to the excitement … something I 'm sure his mother would have tanned their hides for . Years later , when traveling to the Black Hills , my parents rode the 1880 Train in Keystone , South Dakota . It had been many years since Dad had been able to ride a train much , so it was very exciting for him , and it brought back those old memories of his days of riding the trains back in Wisconsin . They really enjoyed those train rides through the Black Hills . When the Amtrak Trains came on the scene , I think my dad 's interest really peaked . He began thinking about taking a trip on the Amtrak . It would be a dream trip for Dad and Mom . They planned to ride the Amtrak Train up the California coast . The trip was to take several days , and they would sleep on the train . That would be a new experience for both of them , as all their other train rides were just day trips or less . My dad was so excited about this trip . He was like a little kid in a candy store . I think that is how a lot of people feel when riding a train … like being a kid again . The wonder of something so new to them . And while riding a train wasn 't new to my dad , traveling that way was . He had always traveled by car . Mostly because he believed that you couldn 't see the country from a plane . But , this was different . They were able to view the countryside and it went by , and he didn 't have to drive . He felt like he was taking the trip of a lifetime . They were finally taking the ultimate train ride . They had such a great time riding the Amtrak . It would be a trip that would live in their memories for the rest of their lives . They had taken many vacations , and all of them were filled with great memories , but there are always a few of your trips that live in your memory as the big trip , the best trip … the ultimate trip . 5 Comments Catching Up Published April 22 , 2012 | By Caryn My grandson , Josh started out in this life as a preemie baby , being born 5 weeks early , and while his medical problems were minor … just underdeveloped lungs and his small size . After spending 2 weeks at Presbyterian St Luke 's Hospital in the neo - natal intensive care unit , Josh came home a healthy baby boy with no signs of the early birth he had experienced . He began the catch up process , and did a very good job of it . He quickly left behind that small size and weak lungs , and turned into a very healthy and strong runner . Today , I had the privileged of attending Josh 's track meet in Douglas . Josh has always loved to run … even as a little boy , and he and his brother raced to school . Their dad tells me that they still race each other , and maybe that is why Josh is so good at racing … lots of practice . He started out trying to catch up to his brother , and then he started winning sometimes . Josh did well in his races , but it was the 4 X 400 Meter Relay that was the most exciting … for many people . In the 4 X 400 Meter Relay , there are teams that race against each member of the team runs once around the track with a baton . After each runner runs their lap , the baton is handed off to the next runner . Josh was the second runner on his team . At the point the baton was handed off to Josh , his team was in dead last out of 6 or 7 teams . About a quarter of the way around the track Josh began his sprint . He passed the slowest runners easily , and then began the real catch up work . One by one Josh passed each other the other runners , until there was only one runner ahead of him . When Josh handed off the baton to the next runner , their team was in 2nd place , and there they stayed . Josh had put his team back in the race . They were in last place … with little hope of changing their situation . It is very hard to picture any possibility of catching up . Then came Josh . He ran past each of the other racers as if they were standing still , and believe me , they were running hard . If there had been 100 more meters for Josh to run , he would have passed the first place team runner as well , but it didn 't matter , because they had been given hope again . And they weren 't in last place . Second place was a joyous position to be in . After the race was over , and Josh returned to the bleachers where we were sitting near his school 's group . Josh was the talk of the crowd . All three coaches complimented him on a great run , as did all the students … and especially his teammates . The last runner on his team … usually the fastest runner , came up to Josh and said , " That 's it ! ! You are a permanent member of our relay team ! ! " It was a wonderful day for my grandson … and his parents and grandma too . Leave a comment Peek - A - Boo Published April 21 , 2012 | By Caryn Little kids are so curious . They are always checking out hidden spaces or hiding places to see what might be there . What we completely disregard , holds a special place of interest for them . It 's funny that you can have a toy right beside them , and they are more interested in the box , or what is under the table next to the toy . Maybe it is about places they can fit in , or maybe it is about Peek - A - Boo . Kids learn the little games so quickly . Of course , Peek - A - Boo is a game that teaches the little ones that you will come back to them , if you have to leave for a time . They don 't know that is what they are learning , but it really is . Trust is such an important part of being a baby . They have to feel ok about the person holding them , and that is not always easy , because sometimes the person holding a baby is not much bigger that the baby is . Babies love that strong secure feeling that usually comes from being held close by an adult , who knows what they are doing . When you think about it , placing yourself completely in the hands of someone else would be hard . That is obvious in the way that a baby will immediately cry when moved from the secure arms of an adult into the uncertain arms of a sibling that is about 2 years older that they are themselves . I guess I wouldn 't feel so safe in that situation either . But , with just a little support from Mommy or Daddy , being held by a young sibling suddenly isn 't so scary . Kids do learn very quickly that their parents can be trusted to take care of them , and that it 's ok to go hide , because Mommy and Daddy will be there when they come out from under the table , out of the box , or when they take their hand away from their eyes . It 's all part of learning to live in this world , and for the most part , the games are about having fun , while learning . What baby doesn 't giggle with delight when they peek out from under that table to see the smiling face of their mommy or daddy ? It 's a learning game , and one they all love to play . |
I guess I 'm writing this down to help me think through this and sort things out in my head . I don 't know if I will get an answer this way , but maybe seeing it in black and white will help me see an answer and maybe it will help me to look back on it later and laugh at myself for making more out of it than I should have . My youngest is 4 1 / 2 years old . He is my baby and will always be my baby . If you know me , you will know that I have a hard time letting go of my children and that can be a good thing or a bad thing . It was really hard letting my oldest go 3 , 000 miles away to college , but somehow I managed and I didn 't die and she is doing very well . My youngest on the other hand has been babied much of his life and I know that . He has also taken his time and enjoyed his role as the baby too , but I know that he will have to grow up eventually . He started preschool this year at the only Christian preschool in town that is full day . I work full time , so there wasn 't the option to put him at another Christian preschool . I wanted him to go to a Christian preschool to get the Bible training , but I thought also the love and support of the teachers at the Christian school . Instead , I 'm not seeing much love at his school . There is a great deal of discipline , which I realize that he needs as well . Being the baby , he has been allowed to get away with a lot of things the older kids were never allowed to do . I 'm not saying he never is punished or disciplined at home , but it seems he is always getting in trouble at school and is getting notes home and time outs and comes home crying a lot of days . Then , today , he had an accident in his pants . They told me that if he did that , they would call me and have me come down and change him . Instead , they helped him get cleaned up and wrote me a note saying that I needed to teach him how to clean himself at home , as though this wasn 't something I had been doing . The note made me feel like I 'm a bad mother because my 4 1 / 2 year old son had an accident and couldn 't wipe himself well enough so tPosted by Well , after giving into the cold yesterday and admitting defeat , I think I might just be turning a corner . I had to get up early again today to get my daughter to a pancake breakfast she was helping to serve at and decided to come home and crash on the couch until the boys woke me up . The little one joined me and let me sleep until 9 : 30 . I never sleep past 6 : 30 so I knew something was going on and my body was telling me I was tired . I rested on the couch for most of the day again , getting up to finish putting the binding on the quilt for the Girls State Auction today and then going back to take another nap . When I finally got up and decided to start my day around 4pm , I think I actually feel a little better . If only all of my days this week could have been this lazy and easy , maybe I wouldn 't have been sick for so long ! It is hard for me to admit defeat like this and give in when my body says rest . There are so many things to get done around the house and I have no idea how , but things have a way of moving on their own and it looks like a tornado came through here this week and re - arranged everything so next weekend will have to be spent cleaning up from being sick , but I think one more day of laying around and I will be ready to go back to work next week . I managed to sit last night for an hour and fix the grade program , at least for now , so that is one less stresser on me . But , now I have one more question and if you are reading my blog and are an insurance person or have any experience dealing with auto insurance , maybe you can answer this for me . Last May , I was in a car accident . I was hit from behind while I was stopped . The lady was doing about 40 miles an hour and wasn 't paying attention to the traffic and just ran into me . Our cars were locked together , her airbags went off , she got out , said she was so sorry and that she wasn 't paying attention . . . etc . My son and I both went via ambulance to the hospital with neck pain . We both had the exact same injuries and the insurance company wants to give him 2 / 3 the mPosted by I give up ! I surrender . The battle with the cold is over and the cold has won . I 'm so glad it is Friday again . I can 't believe I made it through this week with only taking one day off . I have coughed so much that I think I lost one lung and gained some ab muscles . I know I haven 't slept more than 2 hours at a time any night this week and probably kept everyone in the house up too . The kids are crabby and fighting and everyone is looking forward to doing nothing this weekend ! To top it off , this week has been extra stressful with the new grading program they are making us use at work . They are trying to save money by switching over to a new grading program that nobody has worked all of the bugs out of yet . Plus , the person who was in charge of the program last year has taken on a new job and there is nobody who is an expert who can help all of us who are trying to learn how to use the program . Grades are disappearing , students are showing up that aren 't in our classes , and it is taking 10 times longer to do things than last year . When they decided to make the switch ( to save money - - which I totally understand with all the budget cuts ) they tried to sell it to the teachers by saying that it was going to save us all a lot of time when it came time to put grades in at report card time . Well , it is report card time and I have spent hours fixing the mistakes the computer is making that I never had problems with in the past . Probably if I wasn 't sick , it wouldn 't bother me as much , but today I got so frustrated with the program , I almost started to cry . When that happened , I knew it was time to just give up and leave it be until Monday . Maybe then I won 't care as much , things will be fixed , or everyone else will have the same problems I 'm having and they will actually care about my problems . Today , they just told me to stop whining about my troubles which frustrated me even more ! I think I will play with some fabric and yarn , take a nap or two and enjoy the first weekend of fall . I have some ice cream in the freezer . What cPosted by You didn 't know I was looking for one , did you ? Well , today I intervied for the Peer Tutoring Coordinator position at my high school and got it . I will be responsible for coordinating the matching of tutors and tutees and making sure the kids work well together and get the help they need to be more successful in school . I was a little surprised I actually got the job because the lady who ran the program last year was one of the people doing the interview and I told her some of the things I had problems with about the program last year . I also talked about how excited I am to get kids who are having problems in science involved in the tutoring program . Either the other people who interviewed said worse things than I did , or they really liked the good things I said because the Vice Principal came to my class about an hour after the interview and congratulated me . Now , the fun starts , trying to coordinate about 100 students and pair up those needing help with those wanting help . I just hope this doesn 't cut into my quilting time ! Maybe I can talk some of these tutors into cutting fabric for me . . . insert evil laugh here . . . Ok , finally some pictures to share . I 'm still not feeling perfect , but maybe 10 % better so it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get busy . I stayed home from work today and slept most of the morning away . When I woke up , I could breathe again and that meant I could quilt again ! Here are the three kitten blankets I got done over the weekend , two quilts and one crochet blanket . And this is the quilt for the Girls State Auction this Saturday . I still need to get the binding on , but I have that cut and ready so sew , at least . I should be able to finish this one by Saturday . If you click on the picture and make it bigger , you can see that I wrote things in the white parts , America the Beautiful and such . I didn 't realize how hard it was to write with stitching on a quilt . Some of the cursive letters are a little strange , because when you write , you pick up your pencil , but you can 't just pick up the sewing machine and put it down again , so I had to emprovise a little . I hope you can read all of the words . to follow the directions , rest , liquids , rest , but I 'm feeling worse . I laid around on the couch most of the day after going out to get some pseudafed . My head was about to explode and I needed something to take the pressure off . There are about 20 different medicines that say they do that for you , so I asked the pharmacist and she said , oh , you have to have the pseudafed . Of course , I had to sign my life away to get it , driver 's licence , signature , I 'm surprised they didn 't take a mug shot and fingerprints right there too . But it was worth it . I don 't think my head will explode anymore , but the nasties have dropped into my chest and now the fun coughing starts . That usually lasts a week or until a lung has actually been expelled from my body , whichever comes first . I know that the pharmaceutical companies are making tons of money off of cold medicines , but I sure wish they would work on an actual cold remedy . Something to stop the cold / flu from taking over your body . I 've tried all the ' preventions ' out there like Airborn - - you know it was invented by a very smart teacher who is no longer working with little germ bags . It 's just a bunch of vitamins and herbs that are supposed to help your body fight off the germs on its own , but I want something that actually attacks the virus , like antibiotics . I wonder if someone has come up with it , but decided they can make more money on treating the cold ? I did manage to get two more kitten quilts done this weekend , in between feeling sorry for myself and dying on the couch and I made one in crochet as well . I have a zillion and one skeins of yarn and while sitting on the couch , decided to just crochet single crochet to make a square . Started with 35 chains and just kept going back and forth until the skein was used up and I had a big square , about 18 inches I guess , then put a scalloped edge on it and called it done . I 'll box up these quilts and any more I can get done and ship them out in the next week or so to the cold little kittens in Ohio . of the truck that ran me over ? Boy am I feeling like I was hit by a truck and then backed up over and sat on for a while . My head is about to explode from the sinus pressure and my nose is dripping and I 'm just feeling icky . I 've tried resting and I 've tried cleaning the house and I 've tried sitting there feeling sorry for myself and nothing makes me feel better . Maybe a good night 's sleep would help , if only I could breathe ! I have so many things I need to be doing and getting sick is getting in the way of what I want to get done . Bummer . . . Yes , I mean that literally ! Thank you God for helping me make it through this week . I started feeling a little sick yesterday , with a midly scratchy throat and today my throat is screaming sore . I decided to come up with a super easy lesson that the kids could do on their own so I didn 't have to talk today so I wrote a great worksheet . Problem was , it was too easy for most and too hard for some . It did its job , separating out those kids who can make graphs from those who can 't so that was a good thing , but it didn 't keep me from talking the whole period like I had hoped . At least I am done with school for another week and can rest and relax for a minute before starting the weekend plans . My daughter 's boyfriend goes off to college this weekend . It will be like losing another child . He hasn 't been around much these last couple of weeks , but the past two years he was over almost every day . The great thing is he is going to college 20 minutes away . I can visit anytime I feel like it , but not too often = ) I joked that I would come over and have dinner in the dorms now that I can be his guest . Bring the whole family and eat our fill . They have great food in the dorms you know , and you don 't have to wash the dishes when you are done ! I also have some quilts to finish up this weekend . I wonder if I will get the bindings done on any of those that are still sitting on the cutting table ? ? ? Having 4 kids is fun . It is challenging . It is rewarding . It is faith stretching . Today I got a phone call during the middle of the day from my oldest who was so excited that she got a writing assignment back with top marks on it . She wants to be an author one day and was concerned that nobody would like her writing . For her to get confirmation that what she has done is good from someone other than her mother meant the world to her . My emotions are so closely linked to child # 1 that I was so happy for her and feeling great . . . until the fire drill 6th period . . . you remember my special friends in 6th period ? Then , my youngest had a hard day in preschool . I asked his teacher how his day went and she said it was fine . He did well today . When he got home , he broke down in tears . Not just normal tears , but great sobs . He said that he got in trouble because the teacher thought he colored on the table . I asked him if he colored on the table and he said not this time , it was the boy sitting next to him , but when the teacher asked that boy , the boy just shook his head no . So , the teacher made my son clean up the mess all by himself . Now , I know my son pretty well and I know that my son has troubles with the truth at times , but from the story my son told , it seems he spent quite some time crying and carrying on about having to clean up a mess he didn 't feel like he made . I 'm sure the teacher has other things on her mind , but from the sounds of it , it was a doozie of a fit . To me , that isn 't a fine day . I guess I will have to leave a note for the teacher tomorrow and ask her about it . Daughter # 2 twisted her ankle in cross country practice yesterday and seems to be fine , except for running . Hoping that things will be ok for the first meet on the 25th . And finally son # 1 . He wants to be in the school spelling bee this year . Never showed interest in spelling before , but this teacher has lit a fire under him that is unstoppable . He is looking up words I 've never seen before and practicing in the car . He wants to be labeled the ' superPosted by I have to leave in about 10 minutes for Back to School night . I hate back to school night . This is the night where I get to talk to parents . It is one of the longest days of the year . I feel like the adult on Charlie Brown . Wahhh , wahhh , wahh , wahhh wah . You know , you are making noises , but nobody can understand what you are saying . You are talking and talking and people are sitting there looking at you blankly as though you aren 't saying anything . Then , the bell rings and they all leave and the next batch comes in and you start all over again . After yesterday 's post about trying to make a difference in one kids ' life , I got a reality check up today . One of my friends got called for jury duty . She is waiting to see if she gets picked for a murder trial . She is on day 2 of the duty . Yesterday one of her students was giving the substitute a bad time , so I offered to babysit him today . He was my student last year and I thought we had a pretty good relationship . He didn 't do well in my class ( that 's why he is taking it again this year ) but I thought we understood each other . So , he comes in my class and I had the work all ready for him . I told him that since he couldn 't behave for the sub , he had to stay with me today and do the work in my classroom . Well , he didn 't like that at all . He wanted to go back in his class and goof off with his friends . When I told him that wasn 't the choice , he said he wanted to go and punch the substitute in the face for saying that he wasn 't behaving yesterday . He said that he always behaves now . I said , oh , yeah , like right now ? Then , he starts cussing me out and walks out of my class . Reality check ! Kids are going to make choices and he just made one . I didn 't have the impact I thought I had and I won 't be offering to babysit him again . From now on , he will go straight to the office when there is a sub for that teacher . At least he didn 't punch me in the face = ) See , I am an optomist ! ! ! School is really cutting into my fun time . I mean , I love being a teacher , and helping kids reach their full potential and all . . . yeah , who am I kidding ! I love being a teacher and having summers off ! I really have some great kids this year up until the last class of the day . That one is a real challenge . There are about 6 boys in that class that I don 't think are going to make it the full year without ending up in juvenile hall . They behave themselves in my class , but from the stories they tell and the conversations I overhear , I don 't think they will stay out of trouble for very long . I pray for them in the mornings before I get out of my car and hope that I can make a difference just by being a consistent force for them every day . I don 't always think that I can make a difference , but maybe for one of them , I will . I have had students come back years after graduating and tell me that I did make a difference . It is usually the kid that I thought I wasn 't getting through to and they sure didn 't learn science from me . But so much is going on at home that science is the last thing they need from me . They just need someone who shows concern that they are alive and I try to remember that when they are driving me crazy every day . That 's why I love to come home and play with my fabric . It gives me a sanity break from all the craziness I have to deal with in the classroom . I may not see the diffence I make with the kids , but after an hour of working with some fabric , I can see the changes I make quickly . I get that instant gratification in finishing a project and if it doesn 't turn out how I wanted , I can give it away and start a new one the next day . I don 't understand people who don 't have hobbies . I work with a lady whose life is teaching . She has no hobbies and she said that if she won the lottery she would keep teaching and working . Not me . I would be playing with fabric all day and taking my kids all over the world to see and experience what the world has so they could see how good we have things in the United StatesPosted by I got the two quilts done today for the librarian 's daughter in law who had to give birth early so they could start cancer treatment on her . I hope she likes them both ! The blue one is for the mom and the more colorful , darker blue one is for the baby . There is one block that is in both quilts . I thought that would be a nice touch to tie the two quilts together . You can see it in the baby quilt , next to the yellow square near the top . I just happened to have an extra block leftover from the mom 's quilt and it sort of went with the colors of the baby quilt . I also promised to show the quilt tops that were sent me by my online friend . She did a great job . She sent me 4 quilt tops to use in the charity auction for the Girls State fundraiser . I hope to get them quilted this week . They are just perfect for this event ! Thanks Kathy C in Indiana . And finally , here are two mini quilts I made to send to my daughter at Oberlin . She has been helping out at a cat rescue center on the weekends and says they have the cutest little kittens there . I told her I could make her some little quilts for the kittens and this is what I came up with from some scraps I had on hand . I 'll send her these and see if they like them and then make some more if they do . Even kittens need their own little quilts ! Just a quick update before I head out to help my daughter hit some tennis balls . I have the baby quilt quilted and the quilt for the mom quilted , now just to put the binding on both and those will be ready for Monday . The shoulders are still giving me troubles . Frustrating ! I also got a box with some quilt tops from an online friend that will get posted tomorrow . They are great ! I can 't wait to share them with you . And , I managed to sew together the blocks for a Quilts of Valor quilt and that will be put together tomorrow I hope . Not as much as I had planned for the day , but with my shoulders giving me troubles , at least I got something done . I just love Fridays , because the weekend is here and I can dream about all the things I can get done . I don 't usually get 1 / 10th of them done , but Fridays I still have the excitement of what could be ! This weekend I would like to get the baby quilt done for the lady I work with whose son 's wife gave birth to a preemie because she has cancer and they wanted to start treatment . I also want to make a quilt for her as she undergoes chemotherapy . I also want to work on some more Quilts of Valor quilt tops to send to Alycia . She has about 100 quilted and another 40 or so quilt tops . Her goal is 400 by May , so that is a long way to go . I would like to send her 20 or so in the next box which means I had better get busy on those . Each quilt top doesn 't take long to put together and I have a whole bunch already cut out and ready to go . I also need to get the binding on about 10 quilts that are in my way . They are sitting on the cutting table in the sewing room and I keep having to move them . Rather than moving them , I 'd like to cut the binding for them all this weekend so when I get a few minutes I can just start sewing bindings on them . Binding quilts by machine doesn 't take all that long , it 's just having everything ready to go that takes me forever to get around to . I also need to work on the quilts for the Girls State Silent Auction Dinner that is coming up in a week or so . I had better get busy on those . I work well under pressure ! I just hope my joint pain goes away . It started on Monday and I thought I had slept funny on my arm . My elbows and shoulders have been killing me all week . They are bad in the mornings , but terrible at night . I don 't know what is going on with them . It is a deep ache that isn 't helped by ibuprofen , tylenol or even the muscle relaxer the doctor gave me for my whiplash from the car accident . I 'm too young for arthritis aren 't I ? I haven 't done any strange physical activities that I can remember and I 'm not under strange stress , other than missing my daughter terribly . I really need to get in to sPosted by Well , it is fitting to stop and remeber 7 years ago today . I remember waking up and turning on the TV . I don 't do that anymore , maybe because of that day . Maybe because I don 't want to start my day knowing what is happening in the world outside of my own little world or maybe because I 'm so busy with things in my own little world that I just don 't have the time to sit and think anymore . I was up around 6am and the first plane had crashed into the tower by the time I had turned the TV on . I wasn 't sure what to think . When the second plane crashed I called into work and asked if we were supposed to come in . I teach at a high school that is right next to an Air Force Base . I figured if we were under attack as a country , they would want everyone to stay home and be safe . I was told to come in . We weren 't sure what was going on , but that I needed to be there for the kids . I remember coming in and there were only about half the students in class . My own two kids who went to school on base couldn 't get to school . I had to take them back home again . I was worried for their safety all day long . The students I had in class were worried . Many of their teachers had radios on or TV 's or the internet going all day in their classes . The kids had images going all day and were scared . I tried to have class as normal . I remember we were teaching about observations and inferences that day . Strange that I can remember what exactly I was teaching that day when I can 't even remember what I taught yesterday . My kids actually thanked me for not having the TV going or the radio on . They wanted a break from the news and the images . Most of those kids had parents who went to war shortly after 9 / 11 and I 'm sure they were worried about it all day . My friend at work had a brother who was in one of the towers and who got out safely . I remember that she was worried about him , but she kept on teaching as well that day . I don 't think I could have done that if I had a family member who was there . Most of us were on autopilot that day , going through mPosted by When my oldest went off to college a zillion miles from home , I thought my heart was going to break . She had never been away from home for more than a week and when she was gone , I would cry every day because I missed her so much . Now that she is gone long term , I am trying to come to terms with the new phase of life . Everyone tells me that it is so much better and that our relationship will be so much more enjoyable . I 'm having a really hard time making this adjustment . So far , I haven 't found it to be better and I haven 't found that the ache has gone away . I 'm trying to let her be more independent and over the last couple of days to not bug her so much with constantly texting her or calling her . Today in fact , I only texted her once this morning and asked what she was up to . I got a one word response and haven 't heard back from her the rest of the day . I guess that is a good thing , because that means she is busy and doing things a college kid should be doing , but letting go is so hard . Last night , my older son , who is 11 , gave a speech at the school board meeting . Kids from his class have been working on this for about a week . He went over to his friend 's house this weekend both Saturday and Sunday for several hours and they did research and practiced . He even called his grandfather to get some research . You see , his school was built 50 years ago and the principal wanted to have a big celebration . They researched what school was like 50 years ago and are going to have a party and wanted to invite the school board . There were 8 kids all dressed in 50 's styles and each gave a 2 minute speech about life in the 50 's . It was really cute . There were about 50 people in the room at the board meeting , parents , grandparents , kids , all proud of their child up there giving the speeches . Then , the teacher passed out the invitations to the board members . Then the board president spoke . I had a run in with the board president at graduation last year when he tried to take my seat . I had gotten to graduation early and wrapped a sweater around two seats . I had asked for special permission from two of the board members and the principal to sit in the front row , but the school board president wasn 't there early enough to ask permission of . Since I am a teacher , I have to be a part of the ceremony and stand among the flags as the graduates walk past . When I came back to take my seat , the school board president was standing in front of my seat that still had my sweater wrapped around and on it . I asked him to move over since that was my seat . We had a huge argument in front of 2 , 000 people and the two other board members came running over and finally got the board president to move over . Most of the time , I am a meek and mild person , but my daughter was graduating valedictorian and I was not about to give up this seat . This man was not going to back down , because " school board members always sit in these seats " . He could care less that I had special permission to sit there , or that my daughter was valedictorian or thPosted by Last night , my youngest was playing around and I said , if you keep doing that , you are going to fall and split your head open and we are going to have to go to the hospital and get you some stitches . Not 10 seconds later , he ended up falling and cut his head open and we ended up getting him 2 stitches . I think next time I 'm going to say , if you keep doing that , you are going to end up falling and we are going to win the lottery and win a million dollars . Hey , it just might work ! I took pictures on my camera phone and I have to figure out how to transfer them onto the blog . I 'm sure there is a way to send them to my email or something . I 'm just not that tec savy yet . It took me forever to figure out how to use the camera on the phone in the first place and now I 'm having a great time taking pictures of everything and sending them to my daughter in college . I take pictures of our dinners and send those to her . Those are a big hit , when she is eating dorm food . Of course , I would trade her in a second to have food prepared for me every night and get to choose from 50 different things and then not to have to wash dishes ! That sounds like heaven to me ! But , when I was young and lived in the dorms , I didn 't appreciate it either . Now that I work and come home to last night 's dirty dishes and have to wash those before trying to figure out what I want to cook for dinner tonight , I long for the days of dorm food . Today I promised myself that I was going to work on some of the preemie baby dolls that I make for an online charity group called All Crafts 4 Charity . It is a Yahoo group that makes items for a different charity each month . Last year I challenged members of the group to make 100 items for the different charities and I would make them a preemie doll so they could try out their hand made items on the dolls so they would actually fit a real preemie baby . I make the preemie dolls in all sizes from 1 pound up to 6 pound . The 6 pounders aren 't full term size , they are skinnier than a full term baby . It is hard for most people to understand just how small a preemie baby really is . I 've never held a real preemie baby , but I saw one up close once and boy was he tiny . So , today I got two of these little guys done . The light skinned one is 5 pounds ( size wise , not in real life ) and the dark skinned one is 2 pounds . What a difference ! Each baby will go to its new home this week and will help to size items for real babies . Each baby takes about an hour an a half to two hours from cutting out to sewing to hand sewing and stuffing depending on if I 'm watching TV or not . You can purchase the pattern herehttp : / / dollnetmarket . com / shop / product . php ? productid = 119 & cat = 6 & page = 1 I was going to hold these pictures until tomorrow , but I just couldn 't wait to share them . I finished the quilt tonight and wanted to share with everyone who reads this blog because I 'm pleased with the finished quilt . It measures 60 x 84 inches . This is the quilt for Matt Garcia 's mom . Matt was the city councilman who was shot on Sept 2 . I 'm going to give it to a student of mine who will be going to his funeral on Tuesday and is a friend of the family . I met him once , when my daughter was recognized as a valedictorian last June . My heart breaks for his mother . Being separated from my own daughter is hard , but at least I can talk to her every day . I wanted this mother to know that I 'm praying for her and I hope this quilt brings her some comfort . Today felt like a normal quilting day . I got up fairly early and got some chores done , loads and loads of laundry , dishes , yard watered because it has been over 100 degrees for weeks and everything is dying and then got my # 2 daughter out hitting tennis balls on the ball machine in the backyard before it 100 degrees today . Then , it was into the sewing room to work on quilts . I sewed together fabric for the quilt top for Matt Garcia 's quilt and then decided to put bidings on two quilts that have been sitting here for a month . It really doesn 't take a long time to add bindings to quilts , it just takes effort . I had some fabric cut that wasn 't specifically meant for bindings , but would serve the purpose and so I figured done was better than perfect and I wanted these quilts done before church tomorrow so I got them done and they are ready to go tomorrow . The happy blocks quilt is my favorite quilt I 've ever made . I just love the colors and this picture sure doesn 't do it justice . I don 't know if the flash didn 't go off or what , but it sure is dark . I will have to take another one outside to capture the colors of this one so I can remember how happy it made me . It took a long time to make and I wanted to give up a couple of times while making it , but I love how colorful it is and how happy it makes me feel to look at and I 'm sure some child will love it . Both of these quilts will be headed to Kazakhstan soon . These two pictures are the before and after shots of my youngest 's first day of preschool . He was so excited the day before , but wasn 't too sure the day of . But , look how happy he was when I came to pick him up . You can tell I was going to be ready for sewing when I sat down last night . I got my bobbin winder out and started winding bobbins . I just love this thing . It is called a Side Winder and its sole purpose in life is to wrap thread on those little metal bobbins . My machine has the bobbin winding part stuck so when you wind the bobbin , the whole needle thingy goes up and down and I 've broken a couple of needlPosted by Well , I don 't think it will be the last one unfortunately , but my youngest got his first ' note home ' today . He was playing on the playground with a little girl and they were pretending to be animals . She was a tiger and he was a dog . She didn 't believe he was a dog so he hit her in the face . His story was that she scratched him first , but as a teacher I can verify that we never catch the first child . When I picked him up , I made him apologize and then they hugged and everything was forgiven . Maybe this is his first little girlfriend ? I 'm so glad it is Friday . I have many plans for the weekend . I am hoping to get a quilt made for the librarian 's grandson . He was born 8 weeks premature . His mother has cervical cancer and they had to take the baby early so they can begin cancer treatment . He is doing very well and is already 4 pounds and 17 inches long . That is one long , skinny baby ! I 'm also hoping to work on some more preemie baby dolls for my online charity crafting group . I 'm so far behind on those and really need to get a couple done this weekend . The kids have a few activities planned as well so I will be running them around . I would also like to make a quilt by Tuesday for the family of a local congressman who was shot and killed last week . He was only 22 years old and was really making a difference in the community . His platform was taking a stand against gangs and violence . The police aren 't sure who the shooter is yet , but they have hundreds of police searching for the gunman . You can hear about the councilman here : http : / / fromthereporter . com / galleries / 2008 / 090208 / index . htmlor go towww . thereporter . comand type in Matt Garcia in the search box and read the articles about the concilman who changed the city for the better . My husband is the tennis coach at the high school we both work at and I help by driving the girls to the tennis matches . Today was the first match of the season and boy did it make me miss our daughter even more . Usually she would be done with her match before I had the chance to get out there and I would have to ask her to slow things down so I could watch a few points of her match . Well , today , she wasn 't there to watch . The other team was excited that she wasn 't there and won the # 1 singles match easily . It made me miss her so much to look out and see all of these other girls playing and remember being excited to get to watch her play . Today was my oldest 's first day of college and my youngest 's first day of preschool . Talk about extremes in the schooing continuum ! Both had great first days which was great for mom Matt L is a student at the high school where I work . I found out on Thursday that he had a heart attack over the summer and had to have open heart surgery . He is a senior this year . What a way to start your senior year ! The students are making cards for him and one of the teachers is bringing those cards to him tomorrow . I said I would like to make a quilt for him and this is what I came up with . I used my favorite pattern , the Buttonberry Stashbuster pattern because I already had the fabric cut out and it takes about 30 minutes to sew together the squares , another 15 minutes to arrange them and then in a couple of hours you have a quilt ready to go . I got it done this weekend and it will be ready to deliver tomorrow . The back of the quilt is a cheater panel of patriotic prints that I have about 10 more yards of . I have it loaded on the quilting machine so I think I will quilt up a few more of these tops I have sitting around . Michael starts preschool tomorrow and needed a nap mat cover . This is what I came up with . The school sells these for $ 11 each . They are 28 inches wide by 50 inches long and are really just giant pillowcases . I made his out of African safari fabric so during his rest time , he will have something to look at . He is so excited to be starting school . Can you tell ? One thing I love about Binky Patrol is the unexpected phone calls . I get them for different reasons . Sometimes people call needing blankets for kids in crisis . I love those because it spurs me on to action . I get inspired to make a quick quilt and get excited to know that a little bit of fabric and a little bit of time can bring comfort to a child in need . I also love the phone calls like the one I got today . This one was from a lady who had called me before . She is downsizing her fabric and called to see if I could take some more . Since I had my shoes on and lunch didn 't need to be made for another half an hour , I told her I would be right over . Look at what she gave me ! Some are bags of unfinished project . One is a finished quilt top that they just didn 't like . Look at this block of the eagle ! This one will go to Alycia for her Quilts of Valor project . There is a baggie with more pieces and maybe a pattern for how to sew the rest together ? Not sure about that one . I think I might even have given up on that , but I love the end result . And the crazy quilt blocks . I just love the colors on those . There are directions for that one and pieces and scraps to finish it up . Wow , what fun to play with for the rest of the day . Last day for Oberlin pictures . Tomorrow is Michael 's first day of school so there will be pictures of that ! And maybe a quilt picture later this afternoon if I can sit down long enough to get some work done today . With Ariel being gone , I haven 't felt much like sewing again . I hope the missing part goes away and the excited part starts soon . Everyone talks about that being the best part about your child going off to college . Sharing the excitement , but that hasn 't happened yet . Here is a picture of the dorm she lives in . I just love the old , brick buildings at Oberlin . It was built in 1853 and was the first college to allow women and minorities to attend alongside men . This is the front entrance . The building is shaped like an X with four wings coming off of the center of this building . On every pole downtown , they had these hanging baskets . Some were even prettier than this one , but we took this while driving because I kept forgetting my camera when were were out walking and this was the best picture I had . I wondered how they kept these from wilting , but it seems like they get rain every couple of days so maybe they don 't need to water them ? Some of them hung to the ground with trailing vines . Just gorgeous . Of course you have to get a mother / daughter shot . I won 't tell you which is which . I will tell you that I did get confused for a college kid once again . My daughter hates that , but I just love it ! Here is the bike we bought from the neighbor of the assistant tennis coach . The assistant tennis coach and his wife were so helpful in getting us settled and finding us this bike and loaning us some rolling carts . Things would have been more stressful without them , that 's for sure ! Not sure what the 5 's are for , but Michael had this idea and he was the ' producer / director ' of this action shot ! Walking to the car to go home across campus . Michael had to get one last picture . I did tell you he is my photographer a lot of the times . I didn 't cry too much , but this was a tearful walk . Michael didn 't understand why we jumarilyn I go back to school on August 15 . That 's not that far away . When it gets this close to the end of the year , you can bet I 'm cou . . . Let me start by saying this is not my original idea . I got the idea from Alycia at Alycia Quilts on the left sidebar . Check out her websi . . . |
I guess I 'm writing this down to help me think through this and sort things out in my head . I don 't know if I will get an answer this way , but maybe seeing it in black and white will help me see an answer and maybe it will help me to look back on it later and laugh at myself for making more out of it than I should have . My youngest is 4 1 / 2 years old . He is my baby and will always be my baby . If you know me , you will know that I have a hard time letting go of my children and that can be a good thing or a bad thing . It was really hard letting my oldest go 3 , 000 miles away to college , but somehow I managed and I didn 't die and she is doing very well . My youngest on the other hand has been babied much of his life and I know that . He has also taken his time and enjoyed his role as the baby too , but I know that he will have to grow up eventually . He started preschool this year at the only Christian preschool in town that is full day . I work full time , so there wasn 't the option to put him at another Christian preschool . I wanted him to go to a Christian preschool to get the Bible training , but I thought also the love and support of the teachers at the Christian school . Instead , I 'm not seeing much love at his school . There is a great deal of discipline , which I realize that he needs as well . Being the baby , he has been allowed to get away with a lot of things the older kids were never allowed to do . I 'm not saying he never is punished or disciplined at home , but it seems he is always getting in trouble at school and is getting notes home and time outs and comes home crying a lot of days . Then , today , he had an accident in his pants . They told me that if he did that , they would call me and have me come down and change him . Instead , they helped him get cleaned up and wrote me a note saying that I needed to teach him how to clean himself at home , as though this wasn 't something I had been doing . The note made me feel like I 'm a bad mother because my 4 1 / 2 year old son had an accident and couldn 't wipe himself well enough so tPosted by Well , after giving into the cold yesterday and admitting defeat , I think I might just be turning a corner . I had to get up early again today to get my daughter to a pancake breakfast she was helping to serve at and decided to come home and crash on the couch until the boys woke me up . The little one joined me and let me sleep until 9 : 30 . I never sleep past 6 : 30 so I knew something was going on and my body was telling me I was tired . I rested on the couch for most of the day again , getting up to finish putting the binding on the quilt for the Girls State Auction today and then going back to take another nap . When I finally got up and decided to start my day around 4pm , I think I actually feel a little better . If only all of my days this week could have been this lazy and easy , maybe I wouldn 't have been sick for so long ! It is hard for me to admit defeat like this and give in when my body says rest . There are so many things to get done around the house and I have no idea how , but things have a way of moving on their own and it looks like a tornado came through here this week and re - arranged everything so next weekend will have to be spent cleaning up from being sick , but I think one more day of laying around and I will be ready to go back to work next week . I managed to sit last night for an hour and fix the grade program , at least for now , so that is one less stresser on me . But , now I have one more question and if you are reading my blog and are an insurance person or have any experience dealing with auto insurance , maybe you can answer this for me . Last May , I was in a car accident . I was hit from behind while I was stopped . The lady was doing about 40 miles an hour and wasn 't paying attention to the traffic and just ran into me . Our cars were locked together , her airbags went off , she got out , said she was so sorry and that she wasn 't paying attention . . . etc . My son and I both went via ambulance to the hospital with neck pain . We both had the exact same injuries and the insurance company wants to give him 2 / 3 the mPosted by I give up ! I surrender . The battle with the cold is over and the cold has won . I 'm so glad it is Friday again . I can 't believe I made it through this week with only taking one day off . I have coughed so much that I think I lost one lung and gained some ab muscles . I know I haven 't slept more than 2 hours at a time any night this week and probably kept everyone in the house up too . The kids are crabby and fighting and everyone is looking forward to doing nothing this weekend ! To top it off , this week has been extra stressful with the new grading program they are making us use at work . They are trying to save money by switching over to a new grading program that nobody has worked all of the bugs out of yet . Plus , the person who was in charge of the program last year has taken on a new job and there is nobody who is an expert who can help all of us who are trying to learn how to use the program . Grades are disappearing , students are showing up that aren 't in our classes , and it is taking 10 times longer to do things than last year . When they decided to make the switch ( to save money - - which I totally understand with all the budget cuts ) they tried to sell it to the teachers by saying that it was going to save us all a lot of time when it came time to put grades in at report card time . Well , it is report card time and I have spent hours fixing the mistakes the computer is making that I never had problems with in the past . Probably if I wasn 't sick , it wouldn 't bother me as much , but today I got so frustrated with the program , I almost started to cry . When that happened , I knew it was time to just give up and leave it be until Monday . Maybe then I won 't care as much , things will be fixed , or everyone else will have the same problems I 'm having and they will actually care about my problems . Today , they just told me to stop whining about my troubles which frustrated me even more ! I think I will play with some fabric and yarn , take a nap or two and enjoy the first weekend of fall . I have some ice cream in the freezer . What cPosted by You didn 't know I was looking for one , did you ? Well , today I intervied for the Peer Tutoring Coordinator position at my high school and got it . I will be responsible for coordinating the matching of tutors and tutees and making sure the kids work well together and get the help they need to be more successful in school . I was a little surprised I actually got the job because the lady who ran the program last year was one of the people doing the interview and I told her some of the things I had problems with about the program last year . I also talked about how excited I am to get kids who are having problems in science involved in the tutoring program . Either the other people who interviewed said worse things than I did , or they really liked the good things I said because the Vice Principal came to my class about an hour after the interview and congratulated me . Now , the fun starts , trying to coordinate about 100 students and pair up those needing help with those wanting help . I just hope this doesn 't cut into my quilting time ! Maybe I can talk some of these tutors into cutting fabric for me . . . insert evil laugh here . . . Ok , finally some pictures to share . I 'm still not feeling perfect , but maybe 10 % better so it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get busy . I stayed home from work today and slept most of the morning away . When I woke up , I could breathe again and that meant I could quilt again ! Here are the three kitten blankets I got done over the weekend , two quilts and one crochet blanket . And this is the quilt for the Girls State Auction this Saturday . I still need to get the binding on , but I have that cut and ready so sew , at least . I should be able to finish this one by Saturday . If you click on the picture and make it bigger , you can see that I wrote things in the white parts , America the Beautiful and such . I didn 't realize how hard it was to write with stitching on a quilt . Some of the cursive letters are a little strange , because when you write , you pick up your pencil , but you can 't just pick up the sewing machine and put it down again , so I had to emprovise a little . I hope you can read all of the words . to follow the directions , rest , liquids , rest , but I 'm feeling worse . I laid around on the couch most of the day after going out to get some pseudafed . My head was about to explode and I needed something to take the pressure off . There are about 20 different medicines that say they do that for you , so I asked the pharmacist and she said , oh , you have to have the pseudafed . Of course , I had to sign my life away to get it , driver 's licence , signature , I 'm surprised they didn 't take a mug shot and fingerprints right there too . But it was worth it . I don 't think my head will explode anymore , but the nasties have dropped into my chest and now the fun coughing starts . That usually lasts a week or until a lung has actually been expelled from my body , whichever comes first . I know that the pharmaceutical companies are making tons of money off of cold medicines , but I sure wish they would work on an actual cold remedy . Something to stop the cold / flu from taking over your body . I 've tried all the ' preventions ' out there like Airborn - - you know it was invented by a very smart teacher who is no longer working with little germ bags . It 's just a bunch of vitamins and herbs that are supposed to help your body fight off the germs on its own , but I want something that actually attacks the virus , like antibiotics . I wonder if someone has come up with it , but decided they can make more money on treating the cold ? I did manage to get two more kitten quilts done this weekend , in between feeling sorry for myself and dying on the couch and I made one in crochet as well . I have a zillion and one skeins of yarn and while sitting on the couch , decided to just crochet single crochet to make a square . Started with 35 chains and just kept going back and forth until the skein was used up and I had a big square , about 18 inches I guess , then put a scalloped edge on it and called it done . I 'll box up these quilts and any more I can get done and ship them out in the next week or so to the cold little kittens in Ohio . of the truck that ran me over ? Boy am I feeling like I was hit by a truck and then backed up over and sat on for a while . My head is about to explode from the sinus pressure and my nose is dripping and I 'm just feeling icky . I 've tried resting and I 've tried cleaning the house and I 've tried sitting there feeling sorry for myself and nothing makes me feel better . Maybe a good night 's sleep would help , if only I could breathe ! I have so many things I need to be doing and getting sick is getting in the way of what I want to get done . Bummer . . . Yes , I mean that literally ! Thank you God for helping me make it through this week . I started feeling a little sick yesterday , with a midly scratchy throat and today my throat is screaming sore . I decided to come up with a super easy lesson that the kids could do on their own so I didn 't have to talk today so I wrote a great worksheet . Problem was , it was too easy for most and too hard for some . It did its job , separating out those kids who can make graphs from those who can 't so that was a good thing , but it didn 't keep me from talking the whole period like I had hoped . At least I am done with school for another week and can rest and relax for a minute before starting the weekend plans . My daughter 's boyfriend goes off to college this weekend . It will be like losing another child . He hasn 't been around much these last couple of weeks , but the past two years he was over almost every day . The great thing is he is going to college 20 minutes away . I can visit anytime I feel like it , but not too often = ) I joked that I would come over and have dinner in the dorms now that I can be his guest . Bring the whole family and eat our fill . They have great food in the dorms you know , and you don 't have to wash the dishes when you are done ! I also have some quilts to finish up this weekend . I wonder if I will get the bindings done on any of those that are still sitting on the cutting table ? ? ? Having 4 kids is fun . It is challenging . It is rewarding . It is faith stretching . Today I got a phone call during the middle of the day from my oldest who was so excited that she got a writing assignment back with top marks on it . She wants to be an author one day and was concerned that nobody would like her writing . For her to get confirmation that what she has done is good from someone other than her mother meant the world to her . My emotions are so closely linked to child # 1 that I was so happy for her and feeling great . . . until the fire drill 6th period . . . you remember my special friends in 6th period ? Then , my youngest had a hard day in preschool . I asked his teacher how his day went and she said it was fine . He did well today . When he got home , he broke down in tears . Not just normal tears , but great sobs . He said that he got in trouble because the teacher thought he colored on the table . I asked him if he colored on the table and he said not this time , it was the boy sitting next to him , but when the teacher asked that boy , the boy just shook his head no . So , the teacher made my son clean up the mess all by himself . Now , I know my son pretty well and I know that my son has troubles with the truth at times , but from the story my son told , it seems he spent quite some time crying and carrying on about having to clean up a mess he didn 't feel like he made . I 'm sure the teacher has other things on her mind , but from the sounds of it , it was a doozie of a fit . To me , that isn 't a fine day . I guess I will have to leave a note for the teacher tomorrow and ask her about it . Daughter # 2 twisted her ankle in cross country practice yesterday and seems to be fine , except for running . Hoping that things will be ok for the first meet on the 25th . And finally son # 1 . He wants to be in the school spelling bee this year . Never showed interest in spelling before , but this teacher has lit a fire under him that is unstoppable . He is looking up words I 've never seen before and practicing in the car . He wants to be labeled the ' superPosted by I have to leave in about 10 minutes for Back to School night . I hate back to school night . This is the night where I get to talk to parents . It is one of the longest days of the year . I feel like the adult on Charlie Brown . Wahhh , wahhh , wahh , wahhh wah . You know , you are making noises , but nobody can understand what you are saying . You are talking and talking and people are sitting there looking at you blankly as though you aren 't saying anything . Then , the bell rings and they all leave and the next batch comes in and you start all over again . After yesterday 's post about trying to make a difference in one kids ' life , I got a reality check up today . One of my friends got called for jury duty . She is waiting to see if she gets picked for a murder trial . She is on day 2 of the duty . Yesterday one of her students was giving the substitute a bad time , so I offered to babysit him today . He was my student last year and I thought we had a pretty good relationship . He didn 't do well in my class ( that 's why he is taking it again this year ) but I thought we understood each other . So , he comes in my class and I had the work all ready for him . I told him that since he couldn 't behave for the sub , he had to stay with me today and do the work in my classroom . Well , he didn 't like that at all . He wanted to go back in his class and goof off with his friends . When I told him that wasn 't the choice , he said he wanted to go and punch the substitute in the face for saying that he wasn 't behaving yesterday . He said that he always behaves now . I said , oh , yeah , like right now ? Then , he starts cussing me out and walks out of my class . Reality check ! Kids are going to make choices and he just made one . I didn 't have the impact I thought I had and I won 't be offering to babysit him again . From now on , he will go straight to the office when there is a sub for that teacher . At least he didn 't punch me in the face = ) See , I am an optomist ! ! ! School is really cutting into my fun time . I mean , I love being a teacher , and helping kids reach their full potential and all . . . yeah , who am I kidding ! I love being a teacher and having summers off ! I really have some great kids this year up until the last class of the day . That one is a real challenge . There are about 6 boys in that class that I don 't think are going to make it the full year without ending up in juvenile hall . They behave themselves in my class , but from the stories they tell and the conversations I overhear , I don 't think they will stay out of trouble for very long . I pray for them in the mornings before I get out of my car and hope that I can make a difference just by being a consistent force for them every day . I don 't always think that I can make a difference , but maybe for one of them , I will . I have had students come back years after graduating and tell me that I did make a difference . It is usually the kid that I thought I wasn 't getting through to and they sure didn 't learn science from me . But so much is going on at home that science is the last thing they need from me . They just need someone who shows concern that they are alive and I try to remember that when they are driving me crazy every day . That 's why I love to come home and play with my fabric . It gives me a sanity break from all the craziness I have to deal with in the classroom . I may not see the diffence I make with the kids , but after an hour of working with some fabric , I can see the changes I make quickly . I get that instant gratification in finishing a project and if it doesn 't turn out how I wanted , I can give it away and start a new one the next day . I don 't understand people who don 't have hobbies . I work with a lady whose life is teaching . She has no hobbies and she said that if she won the lottery she would keep teaching and working . Not me . I would be playing with fabric all day and taking my kids all over the world to see and experience what the world has so they could see how good we have things in the United StatesPosted by I got the two quilts done today for the librarian 's daughter in law who had to give birth early so they could start cancer treatment on her . I hope she likes them both ! The blue one is for the mom and the more colorful , darker blue one is for the baby . There is one block that is in both quilts . I thought that would be a nice touch to tie the two quilts together . You can see it in the baby quilt , next to the yellow square near the top . I just happened to have an extra block leftover from the mom 's quilt and it sort of went with the colors of the baby quilt . I also promised to show the quilt tops that were sent me by my online friend . She did a great job . She sent me 4 quilt tops to use in the charity auction for the Girls State fundraiser . I hope to get them quilted this week . They are just perfect for this event ! Thanks Kathy C in Indiana . And finally , here are two mini quilts I made to send to my daughter at Oberlin . She has been helping out at a cat rescue center on the weekends and says they have the cutest little kittens there . I told her I could make her some little quilts for the kittens and this is what I came up with from some scraps I had on hand . I 'll send her these and see if they like them and then make some more if they do . Even kittens need their own little quilts ! Just a quick update before I head out to help my daughter hit some tennis balls . I have the baby quilt quilted and the quilt for the mom quilted , now just to put the binding on both and those will be ready for Monday . The shoulders are still giving me troubles . Frustrating ! I also got a box with some quilt tops from an online friend that will get posted tomorrow . They are great ! I can 't wait to share them with you . And , I managed to sew together the blocks for a Quilts of Valor quilt and that will be put together tomorrow I hope . Not as much as I had planned for the day , but with my shoulders giving me troubles , at least I got something done . I just love Fridays , because the weekend is here and I can dream about all the things I can get done . I don 't usually get 1 / 10th of them done , but Fridays I still have the excitement of what could be ! This weekend I would like to get the baby quilt done for the lady I work with whose son 's wife gave birth to a preemie because she has cancer and they wanted to start treatment . I also want to make a quilt for her as she undergoes chemotherapy . I also want to work on some more Quilts of Valor quilt tops to send to Alycia . She has about 100 quilted and another 40 or so quilt tops . Her goal is 400 by May , so that is a long way to go . I would like to send her 20 or so in the next box which means I had better get busy on those . Each quilt top doesn 't take long to put together and I have a whole bunch already cut out and ready to go . I also need to get the binding on about 10 quilts that are in my way . They are sitting on the cutting table in the sewing room and I keep having to move them . Rather than moving them , I 'd like to cut the binding for them all this weekend so when I get a few minutes I can just start sewing bindings on them . Binding quilts by machine doesn 't take all that long , it 's just having everything ready to go that takes me forever to get around to . I also need to work on the quilts for the Girls State Silent Auction Dinner that is coming up in a week or so . I had better get busy on those . I work well under pressure ! I just hope my joint pain goes away . It started on Monday and I thought I had slept funny on my arm . My elbows and shoulders have been killing me all week . They are bad in the mornings , but terrible at night . I don 't know what is going on with them . It is a deep ache that isn 't helped by ibuprofen , tylenol or even the muscle relaxer the doctor gave me for my whiplash from the car accident . I 'm too young for arthritis aren 't I ? I haven 't done any strange physical activities that I can remember and I 'm not under strange stress , other than missing my daughter terribly . I really need to get in to sPosted by Well , it is fitting to stop and remeber 7 years ago today . I remember waking up and turning on the TV . I don 't do that anymore , maybe because of that day . Maybe because I don 't want to start my day knowing what is happening in the world outside of my own little world or maybe because I 'm so busy with things in my own little world that I just don 't have the time to sit and think anymore . I was up around 6am and the first plane had crashed into the tower by the time I had turned the TV on . I wasn 't sure what to think . When the second plane crashed I called into work and asked if we were supposed to come in . I teach at a high school that is right next to an Air Force Base . I figured if we were under attack as a country , they would want everyone to stay home and be safe . I was told to come in . We weren 't sure what was going on , but that I needed to be there for the kids . I remember coming in and there were only about half the students in class . My own two kids who went to school on base couldn 't get to school . I had to take them back home again . I was worried for their safety all day long . The students I had in class were worried . Many of their teachers had radios on or TV 's or the internet going all day in their classes . The kids had images going all day and were scared . I tried to have class as normal . I remember we were teaching about observations and inferences that day . Strange that I can remember what exactly I was teaching that day when I can 't even remember what I taught yesterday . My kids actually thanked me for not having the TV going or the radio on . They wanted a break from the news and the images . Most of those kids had parents who went to war shortly after 9 / 11 and I 'm sure they were worried about it all day . My friend at work had a brother who was in one of the towers and who got out safely . I remember that she was worried about him , but she kept on teaching as well that day . I don 't think I could have done that if I had a family member who was there . Most of us were on autopilot that day , going through mPosted by When my oldest went off to college a zillion miles from home , I thought my heart was going to break . She had never been away from home for more than a week and when she was gone , I would cry every day because I missed her so much . Now that she is gone long term , I am trying to come to terms with the new phase of life . Everyone tells me that it is so much better and that our relationship will be so much more enjoyable . I 'm having a really hard time making this adjustment . So far , I haven 't found it to be better and I haven 't found that the ache has gone away . I 'm trying to let her be more independent and over the last couple of days to not bug her so much with constantly texting her or calling her . Today in fact , I only texted her once this morning and asked what she was up to . I got a one word response and haven 't heard back from her the rest of the day . I guess that is a good thing , because that means she is busy and doing things a college kid should be doing , but letting go is so hard . Last night , my older son , who is 11 , gave a speech at the school board meeting . Kids from his class have been working on this for about a week . He went over to his friend 's house this weekend both Saturday and Sunday for several hours and they did research and practiced . He even called his grandfather to get some research . You see , his school was built 50 years ago and the principal wanted to have a big celebration . They researched what school was like 50 years ago and are going to have a party and wanted to invite the school board . There were 8 kids all dressed in 50 's styles and each gave a 2 minute speech about life in the 50 's . It was really cute . There were about 50 people in the room at the board meeting , parents , grandparents , kids , all proud of their child up there giving the speeches . Then , the teacher passed out the invitations to the board members . Then the board president spoke . I had a run in with the board president at graduation last year when he tried to take my seat . I had gotten to graduation early and wrapped a sweater around two seats . I had asked for special permission from two of the board members and the principal to sit in the front row , but the school board president wasn 't there early enough to ask permission of . Since I am a teacher , I have to be a part of the ceremony and stand among the flags as the graduates walk past . When I came back to take my seat , the school board president was standing in front of my seat that still had my sweater wrapped around and on it . I asked him to move over since that was my seat . We had a huge argument in front of 2 , 000 people and the two other board members came running over and finally got the board president to move over . Most of the time , I am a meek and mild person , but my daughter was graduating valedictorian and I was not about to give up this seat . This man was not going to back down , because " school board members always sit in these seats " . He could care less that I had special permission to sit there , or that my daughter was valedictorian or thPosted by Last night , my youngest was playing around and I said , if you keep doing that , you are going to fall and split your head open and we are going to have to go to the hospital and get you some stitches . Not 10 seconds later , he ended up falling and cut his head open and we ended up getting him 2 stitches . I think next time I 'm going to say , if you keep doing that , you are going to end up falling and we are going to win the lottery and win a million dollars . Hey , it just might work ! I took pictures on my camera phone and I have to figure out how to transfer them onto the blog . I 'm sure there is a way to send them to my email or something . I 'm just not that tec savy yet . It took me forever to figure out how to use the camera on the phone in the first place and now I 'm having a great time taking pictures of everything and sending them to my daughter in college . I take pictures of our dinners and send those to her . Those are a big hit , when she is eating dorm food . Of course , I would trade her in a second to have food prepared for me every night and get to choose from 50 different things and then not to have to wash dishes ! That sounds like heaven to me ! But , when I was young and lived in the dorms , I didn 't appreciate it either . Now that I work and come home to last night 's dirty dishes and have to wash those before trying to figure out what I want to cook for dinner tonight , I long for the days of dorm food . Today I promised myself that I was going to work on some of the preemie baby dolls that I make for an online charity group called All Crafts 4 Charity . It is a Yahoo group that makes items for a different charity each month . Last year I challenged members of the group to make 100 items for the different charities and I would make them a preemie doll so they could try out their hand made items on the dolls so they would actually fit a real preemie baby . I make the preemie dolls in all sizes from 1 pound up to 6 pound . The 6 pounders aren 't full term size , they are skinnier than a full term baby . It is hard for most people to understand just how small a preemie baby really is . I 've never held a real preemie baby , but I saw one up close once and boy was he tiny . So , today I got two of these little guys done . The light skinned one is 5 pounds ( size wise , not in real life ) and the dark skinned one is 2 pounds . What a difference ! Each baby will go to its new home this week and will help to size items for real babies . Each baby takes about an hour an a half to two hours from cutting out to sewing to hand sewing and stuffing depending on if I 'm watching TV or not . You can purchase the pattern herehttp : / / dollnetmarket . com / shop / product . php ? productid = 119 & cat = 6 & page = 1 I was going to hold these pictures until tomorrow , but I just couldn 't wait to share them . I finished the quilt tonight and wanted to share with everyone who reads this blog because I 'm pleased with the finished quilt . It measures 60 x 84 inches . This is the quilt for Matt Garcia 's mom . Matt was the city councilman who was shot on Sept 2 . I 'm going to give it to a student of mine who will be going to his funeral on Tuesday and is a friend of the family . I met him once , when my daughter was recognized as a valedictorian last June . My heart breaks for his mother . Being separated from my own daughter is hard , but at least I can talk to her every day . I wanted this mother to know that I 'm praying for her and I hope this quilt brings her some comfort . Today felt like a normal quilting day . I got up fairly early and got some chores done , loads and loads of laundry , dishes , yard watered because it has been over 100 degrees for weeks and everything is dying and then got my # 2 daughter out hitting tennis balls on the ball machine in the backyard before it 100 degrees today . Then , it was into the sewing room to work on quilts . I sewed together fabric for the quilt top for Matt Garcia 's quilt and then decided to put bidings on two quilts that have been sitting here for a month . It really doesn 't take a long time to add bindings to quilts , it just takes effort . I had some fabric cut that wasn 't specifically meant for bindings , but would serve the purpose and so I figured done was better than perfect and I wanted these quilts done before church tomorrow so I got them done and they are ready to go tomorrow . The happy blocks quilt is my favorite quilt I 've ever made . I just love the colors and this picture sure doesn 't do it justice . I don 't know if the flash didn 't go off or what , but it sure is dark . I will have to take another one outside to capture the colors of this one so I can remember how happy it made me . It took a long time to make and I wanted to give up a couple of times while making it , but I love how colorful it is and how happy it makes me feel to look at and I 'm sure some child will love it . Both of these quilts will be headed to Kazakhstan soon . These two pictures are the before and after shots of my youngest 's first day of preschool . He was so excited the day before , but wasn 't too sure the day of . But , look how happy he was when I came to pick him up . You can tell I was going to be ready for sewing when I sat down last night . I got my bobbin winder out and started winding bobbins . I just love this thing . It is called a Side Winder and its sole purpose in life is to wrap thread on those little metal bobbins . My machine has the bobbin winding part stuck so when you wind the bobbin , the whole needle thingy goes up and down and I 've broken a couple of needlPosted by Well , I don 't think it will be the last one unfortunately , but my youngest got his first ' note home ' today . He was playing on the playground with a little girl and they were pretending to be animals . She was a tiger and he was a dog . She didn 't believe he was a dog so he hit her in the face . His story was that she scratched him first , but as a teacher I can verify that we never catch the first child . When I picked him up , I made him apologize and then they hugged and everything was forgiven . Maybe this is his first little girlfriend ? I 'm so glad it is Friday . I have many plans for the weekend . I am hoping to get a quilt made for the librarian 's grandson . He was born 8 weeks premature . His mother has cervical cancer and they had to take the baby early so they can begin cancer treatment . He is doing very well and is already 4 pounds and 17 inches long . That is one long , skinny baby ! I 'm also hoping to work on some more preemie baby dolls for my online charity crafting group . I 'm so far behind on those and really need to get a couple done this weekend . The kids have a few activities planned as well so I will be running them around . I would also like to make a quilt by Tuesday for the family of a local congressman who was shot and killed last week . He was only 22 years old and was really making a difference in the community . His platform was taking a stand against gangs and violence . The police aren 't sure who the shooter is yet , but they have hundreds of police searching for the gunman . You can hear about the councilman here : http : / / fromthereporter . com / galleries / 2008 / 090208 / index . htmlor go towww . thereporter . comand type in Matt Garcia in the search box and read the articles about the concilman who changed the city for the better . My husband is the tennis coach at the high school we both work at and I help by driving the girls to the tennis matches . Today was the first match of the season and boy did it make me miss our daughter even more . Usually she would be done with her match before I had the chance to get out there and I would have to ask her to slow things down so I could watch a few points of her match . Well , today , she wasn 't there to watch . The other team was excited that she wasn 't there and won the # 1 singles match easily . It made me miss her so much to look out and see all of these other girls playing and remember being excited to get to watch her play . Today was my oldest 's first day of college and my youngest 's first day of preschool . Talk about extremes in the schooing continuum ! Both had great first days which was great for mom Matt L is a student at the high school where I work . I found out on Thursday that he had a heart attack over the summer and had to have open heart surgery . He is a senior this year . What a way to start your senior year ! The students are making cards for him and one of the teachers is bringing those cards to him tomorrow . I said I would like to make a quilt for him and this is what I came up with . I used my favorite pattern , the Buttonberry Stashbuster pattern because I already had the fabric cut out and it takes about 30 minutes to sew together the squares , another 15 minutes to arrange them and then in a couple of hours you have a quilt ready to go . I got it done this weekend and it will be ready to deliver tomorrow . The back of the quilt is a cheater panel of patriotic prints that I have about 10 more yards of . I have it loaded on the quilting machine so I think I will quilt up a few more of these tops I have sitting around . Michael starts preschool tomorrow and needed a nap mat cover . This is what I came up with . The school sells these for $ 11 each . They are 28 inches wide by 50 inches long and are really just giant pillowcases . I made his out of African safari fabric so during his rest time , he will have something to look at . He is so excited to be starting school . Can you tell ? One thing I love about Binky Patrol is the unexpected phone calls . I get them for different reasons . Sometimes people call needing blankets for kids in crisis . I love those because it spurs me on to action . I get inspired to make a quick quilt and get excited to know that a little bit of fabric and a little bit of time can bring comfort to a child in need . I also love the phone calls like the one I got today . This one was from a lady who had called me before . She is downsizing her fabric and called to see if I could take some more . Since I had my shoes on and lunch didn 't need to be made for another half an hour , I told her I would be right over . Look at what she gave me ! Some are bags of unfinished project . One is a finished quilt top that they just didn 't like . Look at this block of the eagle ! This one will go to Alycia for her Quilts of Valor project . There is a baggie with more pieces and maybe a pattern for how to sew the rest together ? Not sure about that one . I think I might even have given up on that , but I love the end result . And the crazy quilt blocks . I just love the colors on those . There are directions for that one and pieces and scraps to finish it up . Wow , what fun to play with for the rest of the day . Last day for Oberlin pictures . Tomorrow is Michael 's first day of school so there will be pictures of that ! And maybe a quilt picture later this afternoon if I can sit down long enough to get some work done today . With Ariel being gone , I haven 't felt much like sewing again . I hope the missing part goes away and the excited part starts soon . Everyone talks about that being the best part about your child going off to college . Sharing the excitement , but that hasn 't happened yet . Here is a picture of the dorm she lives in . I just love the old , brick buildings at Oberlin . It was built in 1853 and was the first college to allow women and minorities to attend alongside men . This is the front entrance . The building is shaped like an X with four wings coming off of the center of this building . On every pole downtown , they had these hanging baskets . Some were even prettier than this one , but we took this while driving because I kept forgetting my camera when were were out walking and this was the best picture I had . I wondered how they kept these from wilting , but it seems like they get rain every couple of days so maybe they don 't need to water them ? Some of them hung to the ground with trailing vines . Just gorgeous . Of course you have to get a mother / daughter shot . I won 't tell you which is which . I will tell you that I did get confused for a college kid once again . My daughter hates that , but I just love it ! Here is the bike we bought from the neighbor of the assistant tennis coach . The assistant tennis coach and his wife were so helpful in getting us settled and finding us this bike and loaning us some rolling carts . Things would have been more stressful without them , that 's for sure ! Not sure what the 5 's are for , but Michael had this idea and he was the ' producer / director ' of this action shot ! Walking to the car to go home across campus . Michael had to get one last picture . I did tell you he is my photographer a lot of the times . I didn 't cry too much , but this was a tearful walk . Michael didn 't understand why we jumarilyn I go back to school on August 15 . That 's not that far away . When it gets this close to the end of the year , you can bet I 'm cou . . . Let me start by saying this is not my original idea . I got the idea from Alycia at Alycia Quilts on the left sidebar . Check out her websi . . . |
Wow ! You really know how to write a story ! I love this story ! I couldn 't stop reading it ! ! Thanks alot for writing something good ! So , where we left of from the last story … . Jared and I were walking into Marcus 's house , hand in hand , to face Dawson . I wasn 't sure how he would react to the scene , but I was thinking that he would be ok with the situation . Because , he knew that this is what I wanted … Who knew what he would think … Well , touching back to that night … . Graduation was crazy as hell … We all gathered at Dawson 's lake house and had a badass party . Jared was there of course , along with some other friends . We ended up going to bed together , had sex , and got back together . Actually , we got back together after that one night in April at Marcus 's house . The first of the vacations came for me a week and a half after graduation when I went with my grandparents to a family reunion in the next state over . It was boring as hell . The same thing every year , " My , Lane , you 've gotten so much cuter than last year . Now , are you going to be a senior in August ? " Keeping in mind that all of the older people on that side of the family only think of me when they see me once a year for three days at the reunion . Never again do they think about me . And every year , it 's the same question . They always think that I am younger than I actually am . All of the older women always have a friend 's granddaughter that they want to get me hooked up with , blah , blah , blah . Now for the good shizz that happened that weekend … . Do you remember Trey ? The guy who added me on Facebook and said that we were going to be roommates ? Well , he messaged me again while I was there and told me that he was going to be rushing a fraternity in the fall and would not be living with me . Great . What was I supposed to do ? Well , after talking to Jared , and realizing that he was going to rush as well , I decided what the hell , and I signed up for fall rush too . My next vacation came a week and a half after the reunion when mom , Joe , Dawson , and I all went to Hawaii for our graduation present . We had a blast . Mom and Joe did their own thing and that left Dawson and I to cruise the beaches and see what all kinds of hot shit that we could get into . I had made a pact with Dawson when we were flying across the Pacific that for this week only I would forget about my relationship with Jared and focus solely upon him . That seemed to make him eager as to find out what I was talking about . Hell , I didn 't even know what I was talking about . But as soon as I laid eyes upon those sun - kissed , ripped , beach bodies , I soon forgot all about Jared . The first night in Hawaii , Dawson and I said goodbye to my mom as they went to Happy Hour , and the two of us made our way to the beach . Each of us had brought six swimming trunks each and we were going to wear each of them . Since the two of us were still really tan from prom , not to mention that we had killer abs from hitting the gym hard for the past two months preparing for this trip , we were killing it in our trunks . We were staying in a condo , just a block from the beach . So , whenever mom and Joe left , Dawson and I headed down . We were walking alongside the waves and laughing about all of the dumb shit that we had gotten into during high school . We were just chatting away and didn 't realize that we had made it a lot further down than we intended to go . It was then that we saw that there was a few gay couples gathered further up nestled together in the sand . So , I decided that we would give them a show . Without even talking to Dawson , I ran up next to him , placed my hand in his , and had a stroll alongside the beach . That got the attention of the three gay couples that we had seen . The fact that I was doing something that had gotten their attention made me pretty horny , so I thought that we should really give them a show . I stopped dead in my tracks , making Dawson stop as well , and spun him around so he was facing me . I placed my arms on his shoulders and drifted my hands across his neck and leaned into a nice warm kiss . That was the first time that I was actually kissing Dawson in about two months . I had forgotten just how good he was with his lips . I was unsure with how long we were standing on the beach making out , but I soon noticed that he had placed his hands on my ass and began massaging each of my cheeks . I had broken our kiss and was biting my lip whenever I looked up the beach and saw that we had an audience of 6 . I was ecstatic and Dawson was more than ready to give those people a show . With us stopping what we were doing on the beach , we looked up towards our audience and just embraced each other in a hug . He had his chin resting on my head , the best place for anyone . I was glad that I was shorter than him and was more than happy to accommodate him wherever he wanted . There was one guy in particular that I had made eye contact with and had nodded my head in the direction towards us . I wanted him to get closer , but was unsure if he really would . But , much to our surprise , he and his partner were walking closer to us . This also prompted the other two couples to begin walking our way as well . I wasn 't sure what the hell we were going to do whenever they got to us , but I was not about to let them touch me , and I sure the hell wasn 't going to let them touch Dawson . The two of them were about six feet away from us and I got a closer look of the two of them . The guy that I had made eye contact with was actually pretty cute - his partner on the other hand was not . I was still embraced by Dawson in a hug . Soon he backed away from me and just stood looking at me . That smile was there again and I know that I had dug myself too deep this time . I was unsure as to how I could get out of this one , but Dawson had lust in his eyes . The situation was beginning to get awkward , so I turned and ran to the ocean with Dawson and two others following closely . While swimming in the Pacific Ocean off of the coast of Maui , I learned that the good looking guy 's name was Joey and his boyfriend of 4 years was Mike . Not too many details were exchanged during our conversation , other than the normal basic statistic questions . Soon after Joey invited the two of us back to his hotel room . I declined the offer and Dawson looked surprised . The two of us had always talked about having a threesome and I guess he thought this was ample opportunity for us to act upon that fantasy . But then I saw his face turn to lust again as he thought that the two of us would go back to our condo together for some fun of our own . Lord ! I did not want that to happen either . I was too much in love with Jared to go through what I went through just a few short months before . I still hadn 't completely healed from that traumatic event . We left the beach and strolled down the streets looking at all of the different shops , picking out the ones we would return to tomorrow and go shopping ! That was one thing that Dawson and I couldn 't go without ! It was beginning to get dark , so the two of us ended up finding our way back to the room , thankful to find my mom and Joe already there ! That was a prayer that was answered . I could tell that Dawson was all but thrilled to find them there . The next couple of days was filled with shopping and attraction sites . We really began looking like tourists in our adventures , but I didn 't care ! Before any of us knew it , it was the day we were to leave the island and head back home . I couldn 't believe how fast that trip had lasted , but was glad to be getting back home . Since we had been there , there had been a fight between Marcus and Kelli , which ended up involving Dawson . Thankfully , I was not in the middle of this fight and didn 't have to choose any sides , even though Dawson and Kelli wanted me to choose their side . But it was now 10 : 00 pm and it was time for us to board our red eye flight back to Dallas . I was all but thrilled for that freaking flight . Dawson and I found our seats in the First Class Cabin and was greeted by a very handsome flight attendant who informed us that he would be taking care of us during the duration of our flight . " Hi , welcome aboard American Airlines . I am glad that you have chosen to fly with us tonight . My name is Adam , please , please , please do NOT hesitate to ask me if there is anything that I can do for the two of you , " the flight attendant said with a wink . " Shit ! " I said . " Dude , I just remembered that the two of us didn 't stunt or tumble on the beach . I have always tumbled at every beach I have ever gone to . " " Fuck , man , " Dawson replied . " I know what you mean . I wasn 't even thinking about that either . Well , I guess that means that we will just have to come back to Maui soon ! " There was an in - flight movie playing , but I wasn 't paying any attention to it . I just focused on getting a little bit of sleep and trying to not think about the remaining 6 hours we had before I could get off this damn plane . Soon I fell back asleep for a little bit and we hit some turbulence and it woke me up . I looked over and Dawson wasn 't by me . I wasn 't sure where he was , but soon enough , he and Adam emerged from the front of the cabin together . I knew instantly where he had been and what they had been doing . Dawson was now a member of the Mile High Club . It was true . I would never have the courage to do half of the shit that Dawson has done in his life , but I have thought about literally everything that he had done . What seemed like three days later , we finally touched down in Dallas . That meant , I would be visiting the bar as soon as we got into the terminal . I didn 't even care that it was 8 in the morning . I needed something stronger than the orange juice I was served on the plane . Not very long after that , we were safely back home and were cruising the streets going and saying hi to all of our friends . I had called Kelli and the two of us had met up to chat about everything that had happened . But that was after I went to see Jared at his house and have some " honey I 'm home " sex ! It was incredible . Or I was just so tired that my brain was telling me that it was great . We tried four different positions . I started off by riding his dick , but that didn 't last very long , then we went into missionary , which was my favorite , but Jared didn 't feel that was very pleasurable . So , we went to doggy . That was the one that really got me going and was very intense , but he finally finished with him on top of me pounding it home . As soon as he rolled off of me , I turned to him , planted a passionate kiss on his mouth and snuggled up to his sweaty body . Jared had his right hand on my back just gently rubbing my back and we were breathing in unison . It was a very romantic , yet awkward , scene . About thirty minutes of he and I laying there , we heard the garage open and we knew that his mom was home . So we quickly got dressed and went downstairs to greet her . When she walked in , she looked like hell ! I wasn 't sure what the hell she had done today , but I knew I didn 't want to be there anymore . But , as soon as she saw me , her attitude was not fitting to her appearance . " Well , shoot , " She replied . " Can you come back tonight for dinner ? I 'll make something extra special since you 're back in town ! " " Great ! It 'll be ready at about 7 o ' clock sharp ! Don 't be late ! Besides , I want to get to know Jared 's boyfriend better . " Great Chapter . What a great way to start another part ! ! I love this story ! BEST story ever . Can 't wait for the chapters ! Which I hope is very soon . PLEASE NEVER STOP WRITING ! : ) Great Chapter . What a great way to start another part ! ! I love this story ! BEST story ever . Can 't wait for the chapters ! Which I hope is very soon . PLEASE NEVER STOP WRITING ! : ) I didn 't know what to do or what the hell to even say . I am sure that I looked like I had just seen a ghost . Finally , I had regained by composure a little and looked at Jared . He was just as dumbfounded as I was . " Boys , " his mother started . " There 's nothing to be ashamed of . I knew a long time ago . You 're just going to have to embrace the fact that people are starting to figure it all out . I 'm certain that everyone will be quite satisfied with your decisions and everyone will support you all . If they don 't , then you don 't need them in your life . The only thing that matters now is that I know ! " She walked over and hugged both of us . I was still unsure what to think about the whole situation , but knew that I wanted to leave . Hell , I didn 't even know if I would be back for dinner ! With that we kissed and I left his house . It was a 20 - minute drive to Kelli 's house where we talked about everything that had happened while I was in Hawaii . Then I told her about what just happened at Jared 's house . She was speechless , but was more than ready to fight this with me and stick by my side to shoot rumors down . That was just one of the many reasons why I loved her and she was my best friend ! Kelli ended up telling me that it was best that I go back to Jared 's house for dinner . That a way his mom didn 't think she had scared me off and ruined everything for her son . I thought that was very appropriate so I informed Jared that I would be attending dinner that evening ! When I showed back up to Jared 's house , his parents were the only ones that would be joining us for dinner . I thought that would be a little bit more awkward and formal , but then I also thought that it would be better that his brother and sister wouldn 't be there either . Dinner wasn 't that spectacular . His dad grilled hamburgers and his mom made homemade French Fries . It was a small , yet spectacular dinner ! As far as conversations went , it was just small talk , college plans , summer events , and so on . There wasn 't anything that was mentioned about Jared and I being together - and I was thankful for that . Dinner had been served , eaten , and cleared , and then it was time for sundaes ! After that was completed , I helped Jared 's mom clear the table and begin the dishwashing process while Jared and his dad continued to talk around the dinner table . Being the newest person in their house and not showing disrespect towards her , I turned to her and just gave her the best hug I thought I could give . She began weeping on my shoulder and asked if I could go talk to Jared . I obliged and set out the back door looking for him . I found him sitting on his tailgate throwing rocks at the basketball goal post . " Hey , bud , " I said . " I 'm not sure if there is anything that I can say to you that is going to make this situation better , but I want you to know that I am here for you . I have always been here for you and always will be here for you . " He turned to look at me with blood shot eyes , " Thanks , babe . " Then turned back to throwing rocks at the goal post again . So I walked over to the driveway , picked up a two handfuls of rocks , walked back to the tailgate and sat them down so Jared could continue sulking . I walked up to him and just hugged him . I didn 't know what else to do . That was the only thing that he had gotten out of that conversation . Why is it that that is the only thing that people get out of conversations when there is hostility involved ? Negativity was the only thing that Jared was seeing . I know that it was visible and all , but at least his mom wasn 't pissed . But , then again , Jared looked up to his dad so much ! Now I was unsure how their relationship would ever be the same . Jared didn 't question his dad . He jumped off the tailgate and met his dad and the edge of the drive and the two of them walked towards their barn . My heart was beating in the back of my throat . I didn 't know what else to do . I didn 't know what to think . " I am so sorry , Lane , " She started . " You must hate me . I never thought any of this could have happened . In fact , I guess I hadn 't run it through my head how he would react . I was just so happy to see Jared this happy in a long time that I wanted to meet the person responsible . Whenever I found out it was you , I was a little shocked at it all , but then I quickly got over it because if you were making Jared happy , then you could make me happy . " She started crying again . At this point I was still worried as to what was going to happen with Jared and his dad in the barn …… . With A GUN ! ! ! Just like that , we heard the 4 - wheelers start up and take off to the back pasture . Jared and his dad were on them and his dad still had both guns . I waited about five minutes after I couldn 't see them any longer just staring out the window . That 's when I heard it . A gun shot off in the distance where they were heading . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I seriously think I could have fainted at that point . If I hadn 't have just had Cheryl scream bloody murder at that time , I probably would have . I was having difficulty breathing . . In fact , I couldn 't breathe . At all ! ! I started making the gesture to Cheryl and she finally got the hint and ran to get an inhaler . After a couple inhales , I was finally able to breathe on my own . BOOM ! She tried to stop me , but it didn 't work . I ran for everything I had in me . I ran track in high school and always ran with Dawson , so I was using every ounce of energy in me to sprint in the direction of the shots . Tears were still flowing down my face and it was hard to see . I tripped over limbs and other things on the ground three different times before I finally made it to the area where Jared and his father were . Five seconds after sending that message , Dawson called . I ignored . I had other issues at hand and didn 't need to listen to their bullshit drama about Marcus right at the moment . Jared and his dad were sitting on the back of the ATVs shooting at a tree . I couldn 't hear what they were saying , but I was just thankful that he wasn 't dead . I was so happy that I started crying again . With that , I turned to go back in and stepped on a stick and broke it in half . His dad was the first to see me . " Ya think ? " I smarted off . " I can 't speak for Cheryl , but I know she 's pretty shaken up about it because she 's sitting in the kitchen floor crying her eyes out because she thinks her husband just killed her son . As for me , I 've nearly passed out , had an asthma attack , and cried all my tears thinking that you 're out here with Jared and a gun . " Jared ran over to me and embraced me in a hug . I didn 't care . I latched onto his body and kissed him on the mouth . I was just so happy to be able to hug him again . " I 'm sorry , son , " He started . " I didn 't mean to scare you , but when I 'm upset about something I come out here to shoot . And , with what I just saw , with your freaking tears , I can tell that you and Jared really do care about each other . " " Well , this is something that I didn 't think I 'd ever have to deal with , but it 's going to take some time to getting used to . I 'll get better at accepting it better in the future if you 'll just give me a little bit of time . I might say something , but I promise I will be working on this whole situation . " His dad said to us as he was walking for me . Clearly there was something going on and I could already figure it out through the messages between those three . Marcus had said something insulting to Kelli and Kelli popped something off to Marcus about him and / or his family that was true and Marcus didn 't like it so started bringing up every little detail about Kelli 's life to her . Yes , my friends were that predictable ! I went over to my car and threw my phone in the front seat . I was with my boyfriend and his family right now and that 's where my attention needed to be . Jared and I walked back inside the house and were talking to his parents . Cheryl broke out the liquor and Dale was having a beer . That sounded so good to me and I decided that I was going to dad 's lake house for the evening ! ! Ten more minutes had passed and Jared had finished two beers ! Damn , he needed to drink just as much as I needed to , but I refused all drinks for the time being . It was then that Jared threw his phone to me opened to a message from Dawson , " If you 're with Lane , tell him to answer his fucking phone and talk to me . NOW ! " Dawson : SHUT THE FUCK UP . I 'm seriously so fucking pissed at you right now it isn 't even funny . You 've been talking to Marcus haven 't you ? D : Yeah , well why couldn 't you have talked to us ? That 's fucked up . Don 't even bother coming to Kelli 's anymore . We are going to my dad 's to drink . Just stay with your fucking boyfriend and get fucked , Lane . I 'm done with you . K : No , don 't even bother explaining . Just go to Marcus 's house and hang out with him since he 's your new best friend . I 'm done , Lane . Me : WHAT ? ! Who said that he was my new best friend ? ? He 's always been my best friend . The same with you and Dawson . I 'm not sure what the fuck is going on right now , but you seriously need to grow up . I had bigger fish to fry tonight that didn 't revolve around some bullshit lie that Marcus said about you and what you said to him about his family - probably his mom , wasn 't it ? Me : No , actually I didn 't . I just know you all so damn well that it 's easy to predict what 's going on with everybody . Yes , he has texted and called me , but just like the two of you , I IGNORED HIM . Me : Really ? Well , I 'm sorry that Dale confronted Jared and I about being GAY and then he took Jared to the pasture with a GUN AND FIRED SHOTS . I ' M SORRY THAT I THOUGHT MY BOYFRIEND ' S DAD WAS KILLING HIS SON . . MY BOYFRIEND . Sorry for one evening I needed to deal with shit that was going on IN MY life and not everybody else 's life . HOLY FUCK , KELLI . Seriously , we are all out of high school and heading to college in the next couple of months . GROW THE HELL UP . Me : Yeah , you wouldn 't because you wouldn 't let me explain . I was too damn busy trying to fix things with you and Dawson because y ' all were so pissed at me that I didn 't answer . Whatever , Kelli , I 'm seriously beyond pissed at you and Dawson right now and I don 't need to deal with the two of you tonight . BYE ! He didn 't see anything to me , just stared at the floor . Then he got up and reached his hand in my direction . I took it and he pulled me up . Dale then embraced me in a manly hug and whispered in my ear , " I 'm sorry , Lane . " I just smiled back at him to assure him that everything was just a big misunderstanding and that I was not upset with him any longer . Then , Cheryl came over and hugged me and thanked me for coming to dinner and that we would have to do this more often before the two of us went to college in the fall . Finally , Jared came up to me and hugged me again and kissed me on the cheek and grabbed my hand . Both , his mother and father , conferred . I was finally relieved and really glad that Kelli had talked me into coming to dinner that night . Great … . . I thought … How was all of that shit going to go down ? I 'll deal with that in five minutes I told myself . As I was leaving his house , I called Kelli and told her that Jared and I were going to the lake and invited her and Dawson to come out if they wanted to . After they talked it over , they texted me and said that they were going to come out . As soon as I hung up with them , I called Marcus . Marcus : Oh , sorry . I thought you could have respected one of my requests to talk to me first instead of them . But then again , I have to give you credit . . You 're not sucking my dick . . You 're sucking Dawson 's . Me : WHOA ! ! I 'm not sucking his dick . I 'm sucking Jared 's . But I have talked to them , but not about anything that 's going on . Although I have already pieced it together . I just got back from vacation and this is not what I want to be dealing with right now . I just want to unwind and have a drink or two . He then told me everything that he had said which , as always , made him look innocent . I then told him that I was going to talk to the two of them and that he better make for damn sure that his story was accurate before I nailed him as being a liar and starting shit . He assured me again that he wasn 't in the wrong and all that jazz . Jesus , I was going to get fucked up as soon as I got to dad 's ! I couldn 't wait ! ! ! After getting a few clothes at mom 's and telling her where I was going , I was on the road . I had called Jared and asked him if he could wait an hour or so before heading over because I needed to talk to Dawson and Kelli about everything that had happened . He was so good , because he said that he would come later ! ! I was so lucky ! ! At dad 's , I learned what all had happened and , with them , they painted Marcus to be the bad guy in the situation . Which , they actually had proof about it all . So , I got a firsthand glance at everything that was going on . With that , I called Marcus again and told him what I had conferred about the whole situation . He didn 't like what I had to say and then put his mom on the phone . GROW UP ! ! ! ! ! ! ! That 's what I wanted to yell at him . Jared pulled out of me and fell on the bed on his back . He held his dick up at me and I hurried and switched my position so I could ride his dick all the way home . It was then that I noticed his dick . The moonlight was coming in through the window and made his dick look really wet and slippery . It also looked a little bit bigger , but couldn 't be for certain . The only thing that I knew was that I wanted him back in me . So I startled his chest and scooted back until his head found my hole . With that I sat on him - all of him . Jared then took the moaning to the next level as I rode his dick in circles for a while . I alternated between circles , up and down , and back and forth for a good twenty minutes before he told me he was about to cum . I stopped all motion and leaned down to kiss him , as he was still in me . It was a kiss that I hadn 't experienced in a long time with him . There was so much passion in his kiss and his hands on my hips continued my motions on his dick . I was absolutely in love with this guy and wanted to keep him in my life forever , but then I realized that I had a job that I had to finish , a job that consisted of me milking his cock with my ass to get his load up my ass . I did just that . But before we concluded the sex , I switched positions on more time to reverse cowboy . I got my footing on the bed just enough , leaned back slightly and rode his dick like a jackhammer . I liked this position because I could finish him off , but I could also cum in this position because his dick would be hitting my prostate and send me over the edge too . Without much effort on either of our parts , he announced that he was about to fill my ass up . Just as I knew he was cumming , I slammed my ass into his pelvic region and squeezed my ass around his dick to make sure that I got every drop of his cum out of his dick . When I knew that he was finished , I leaned back towards him again , got into the position I was in when beginning reverse cowboy and slammed my ass again onto him . I could feel the cum coming out of my ass and leaking onto him and it was causing a rather sexy slapping noise as our bodies made contact . With his dick hitting my prostate , the sound of our bodies making contact , and the grunts Jared was making was just enough to send me over the point of no return . I began cumming and cumming and cumming some more . To this day , I still don 't think that I had ever came that much before . But just as I was starting to shoot , Jared knew what was going on and lifted me up just a little bit . White he was under me , it took every ounce of energy in his body to slam his dick into me repeatedly to make sure my orgasm was intense . He continued fucking me , and hitting my prostate , as I continued to cum . I didn 't think there was ever going to be an end to the seamen that was coming out of my dick . But all too soon , I quit shooting and the orgasm subsided . To say that I collapsed on Jared 's body would be an understatement . I think I passed out on him . Literally , the last thing that I remember was he breathing really heavy and whisper something to me . But I was on a high … A pleasure high ! I didn 't know what he said and soon , I was out like a light . When I woke the next morning , I felt great ! I rolled over and nudged Jared . I always hate when he does that to me , but I wanted him awake . He wasn 't budging , so I kissed him on the cheek and got out of bed . It was nearly 9 o ' clock so I went downstairs to survey the damage and to start breakfast . Just as soon as I finished breakfast , Dawson showed up in the kitchen . He looked like hell . I could tell that he didn 't sleep at all last night and I thought that he had possibly been crying . I began to feel bad for being so loud last night , but then I quickly reminded myself that it was my life and he knew about it . He needed to learn to accept the fact that I was with Jared . Plain and simple ! To complete such a wonderful breakfast on the back deck over looking the lake , we had Mimosas ! Yum ! I had just begun getting stuck on them , and they were actually really good ! I was glad that Dawson had suggested them to us . The rest of the afternoon was filled with swimming in the pool that we had on the balcony . I had already decided that I was going to stay another night at the house , but Jared had to go into town for the night . So as soon as he was gone , Kelli announced that she was leaving too , but Dawson asked if he could stay . I didn 't mind , but I could tell that something was fishy about this whole situation and I couldn 't figure it out , but sooner than later , I realized what all was going on and why Dawson was acting so damn weird . It was just approaching dinnertime and I went to the pantry and freezer to see what we had to cook up . It would be grilled chicken , homemade mashed potatoes , green beans , and wine ! Dawson and I had been friends long enough to what each other liked and what each other could and couldn 't do . I knew that Dawson liked grilled chicken , but he knew that I didn 't like grilling anything - I would stick to the kitchen . So , he happily went the barbeque that we have on the back deck and grilled some delicious chicken and pineapple ! He really did know how to grill some great meals . I had taken care of everything inside and before too long it was he and I at the dinner table with a glass of wine and a formal dinner ! " I am just sick of everything , " He started again . " I 'm sick of all the Marcus bullshit , I 'm sick of Kelli being childish about it , I 'm sick of her boyfriend . I 'm sick of my step mom and step dad , I 'm sick of my brother and sister . The only thing that made me was the last week whenever we were in Hawaii … together . " I just stared at the floor . This was like de je vu all over again from that night at my house in the winter . I couldn 't believe I had found myself in another similar situation . " Look , Dawson , " I said . " I know that you have feelings for me - very strong feelings . I will be absolutely honest with you , I do have feelings for you , but they 're not as strong as the feelings that you have for me . I 'm sorry . Honest , I am ! I hate it when you 're down and not your normal self . " " I told Jared that I loved him last night , Dawson . Before we even came out here . You wouldn 't believe what I was feeling when I thought that his dad was out in the field about to kill him . I was devastated , scared , and pissed . I believe that I could have beaten the shit out of his dad if I would have found Jared dead in that field last night . No lie . That 's when I knew that I had incredibly strong feelings for Jared and that I truly did love him . " With that he looked me in the eye and went in for a kiss . I knew that this was coming and couldn 't decide what I wanted to do . I know at any other given time I would have kissed him back , but this was the absolutely first time that I had dodged a kiss from him - ever ! I could tell that he was incredibly hurt by it , but tried to shake it off . Now , I had always heard that you never want to kick someone when they 're down , but I had to set the record straight . " Dawson , " I started . " I don 't exactly know what you think you 're doing . Especially when I just told you that I told Jared that I loved him last night . You 're all the time preaching that you 're not the one to cheat in a relationship , but here you are with me right now trying to kiss me . Now , some people will look at that and think nothing of it , but you know damn well that you think that 's cheating and so do I . " " No you 're not , " I snapped back . " You always do this . You 're always ' sorry ' whenever I call you out on something that isn 't going your way . Let this be a warning to you , Dawson , the next time you do something like this , it isn 't going to be pretty . In fact , you need to know that I 'm not going to cheat on Jared . Nor will you break us up again . So if you can 't control your urges for all of this anymore , then you need to not come around anymore . This is ridiculous . But , if you can accept the fact that we are together , which you have done multiple times , then you can continue coming around , but if you can 't then we should no longer hang out , especially alone . " He was now crying a lot harder now and got up off the couch and went to the kitchen . This was the first time in all of my life that I couldn 't read this kid . He was my best friend and I couldn 't understand what he was feeling . It was odd . I walked into the kitchen and looked at Dawson , but he wouldn 't turn to face me . He was standing over the sink , so I came up behind and hugged him from behind , " You know I love the hell out of you , man . But there comes a point when you need to respect my wishes . I know you can 't understand it and don 't want to accept it , but you need to at least respect what I want . " With that he turned around and smiled , " This is why you 're my best fucking friend , Lane . But it kills me to see you with him , and the fact that you were having sex with him last night . I seriously wanted to leave . Actually , I did . I went for a walk and didn 't get back until a couple hours before breakfast . I just don 't know if I can do it any longer . I 'm sorry , Lane , but this is goodbye . " Well , I am back at school now . . This means that the semester has begun and I will be focusing on school work . I am unsure of when I will be able to post the next chapter - - hopefully soon ! ! I seriously didn 't know what to say or do . I wanted to follow him outside , but I just couldn 't bring myself to do that . I think that he wanted me to follow him outside , but I couldn 't let him win , not again . So , I walked over to the door he went out of and turned off the porch lights and killed all the lights downstairs . I decided that I would just drive into mom 's for the night . I hated staying out there by myself . Me : " I didn 't know how you would react to knowing that it was just he and I here by ourselves . I didn 't want you to worry . How did you know ? " Me : " Oh , put a sock in it , babe . I 'm not lying to you now and I haven 't in the past . Trust me . " " Well , it 's nice to see you too , " He said as he greeted me with a kiss . " I decided that I would surprise you and come back out and spend the night with you . That 's when I saw Dawson 's car in the drive and no sign of Kelli 's . So , I 'm not going to lie , I was spying on you guys . Why was he crying ? Why did you hug him ? Did you all kiss ? But , most importantly , why did he leave ? " " That 's a low ball move , Jared , " I said . " But , he was crying because I 'm dating you and not him . He can 't accept that . He 'll never be able too . I hugged him because I wanted him to know that I still loved him no matter what . He tried to kiss me , but I dodged the kiss and that really set him off . But ultimately he left because I told him if he couldn 't accept the fact that you and I were together , then the two of us couldn 't be friends any longer . " " But , " Jared started . " I 'm not going to stand in the way of a life long friendship . I know that he likes you . Everybody can see it in his eyes . They literally light up when your name comes up or when he sees you . His entire face does that . I just don 't know what to do about it all . Everybody 's tried talking to him , but it doesn 't work . You know how thick headed he is . But anyway , I 'm not going to be to blame about this friendship ending . You need to fix things with him . " " Jared , the only way that things are going to be fixed with Dawson and I is if you 're completely out of the picture and he and I are together . That 's not happening . I 'm not letting it happen . " " Yes , I know that . Why do you think that I didn 't chase him ? Why haven 't I called him ? Because I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice my friendship with him to be with you . I told you , Jared , I love you . Why are you saying all of this right now ? " I said as tears started to feel my eyes . " Right , but he was the first guy that you messed around with . He 's the one that knows more about you than anyone ever will . Hell , he 's spent more times with your parents and family that I have ever gotten to . " He was right on that one . Jared had only been to my house one time . He 'd also never met any of my aunts and uncles , or even grandparents for that matter . I was disappointed in myself . Maybe Jared was right . Maybe I really did love Dawson . Wait ! What was I saying ? What was Jared saying ? Was Jared getting ready to break up with me ? " Well , I got my letter for the frat that I am joining in the fall . It isn 't the same as you . " He told me what house had offered him a bid and ended up accepting it . I also accepted my bid when it came in the week before we left for Hawaii . " So with that being said , do you really think that you and I can continue to have a relationship in college with each other and not be caught ? Hell , Lane , both of us have to live in the House . Where do you think that we are going to get to hang out ? Where are we going to have sex at ? " " Wow ! " I started yelling at him . " I absolutely cannot believe that . You didn 't love me , you never have ! The only reason that you 've kept me around is so I would get you off . " " Lane , just shut up , fuck ! " He screamed . " I knew I wanted to be with you , but we are both going Greek in the fall , hell we are pretty much already Greek right now . We live in a very conservative region and there is no way all of this is going to be accepted . I actually want to be happy for the rest of my life and have a family , but it 's never going to work between the two of us . " " NO ! ! " I shouted . " I told you to get the fuck out of this house and that 's what I fucking meant . Do it ! GO ! GET OUT ! NOW ! " Great I thought , I just lost two of the most important people in my life , or so I thought . I never dreamed that Dawson would ditch our friendship because of a guy . I also for damn sure never thought that Jared would break up with me because he got a Greek bid . Whatever ! All I knew was that I was leaving the lake and going back home to my mommy ! That was finally the breaking point of my night . I dropped my phone and fell onto the floor sobbing . I sat there crying for a good 45 minutes before I finally came back into reality . I wasn 't sure if I was crying because of Dawson leaving , Dawson being taken to the hospital , or Jared breaking up with me . But , I knew one thing was for certain , I needed to find out which hospital Dawson was being transported to so I could head that way . I had a friendship to mend ! Sitting in the ICU waiting room with all of Dawson 's family , I wasn 't sure what to expect . Apparently , he was driving home from my house , went left of center and hit a car head on . Dawson 's car was thrown off the highway and rolled 7 times before coming to a rest on it 's side with Dawson ejected about 35 feet away . " It 's a miracle he 's still alive , " said the doctor . " We are continuing to monitor him , his kidney has been repaired , he has 4 broken ribs , numerous cuts and scratches , 55 total stitches , and a broken humerus . He will be sedated for the next 48 hours , but you 're more than welcome to go in and see him . Only one at a time , please . " His step mom came over and hugged me . I liked her way more than I liked his mom . , actually a lot more . His mom was a bitch . Coincidently , Sharon , my stepmom , and Dawson 's mom were really good friends . Perfect match ! ! As soon as the four of his parents went in and seen him , his dad told me that , I could go in . WOW ! He was all banged up . He didn 't even look like the Dawson that I knew . I began crying . I didn 't know what to say , but the only thing I could say was that I loved him and that as soon as he got better , we were going to have some hot tub time to soothe him ! The 48 long hours seemed to drag on ; I couldn 't believe that I had stayed at the hospital that long . In fact , I had been there the entire time - longer than his mother ! That was saying something , but I knew that he would be there for me , so I had to make sure I was there for him . When he was no longer sedated , the doctor came and informed us and said that it could be anywhere from five minutes to 12 hours before he would wake up , but he would let us know the minute he woke up . It was just me and his dad at the hospital now . It had been three and a half hours since he came off of sedation and he was growing weary . So his dad went to the cafeteria to get us something to eat and drink . He hadn 't been gone longer than two minutes until the doctor came to tell me that he was awake and that I could go in and see him . My heart sank . I walked over and grabbed his hand , kissed my hand and softly touched his cheek . This time , Dawson showed all of his teeth when he smiled . I knew that he didn 't mean what he said whenever he left my house and I was thankful that I got to be alone with him for a short period of time . The doctor came in and told me that his dad was back in the waiting room , but as I was leaving , I held up the sign for ' I love you , ' and Dawson couldn 't help but smile some more . Before shutting the door , I winked at him and went to find his dad . Here are the next to chapters of the story . Since there has been a delay in the posting of any other chapters , I have posted the next to chapters . Also , because they are both fairly short . I hope to have a couple more chapters posted pretty soon ! Thanks for keeping with everything . . Dawson was in the hospital for eight days before he was released to go home . Then , it was still a long process to get completely healed considering he had to go to physical therapy . But between his dad and I , we made sure that he got there when he was supposed to be there . I was the first person that left the house we were at and sped the entire way there . Dawson was being very uneasy at how fast I was driving , but he knew where my heart was and that 's why I was going over 100 . Not only was I the first to leave , but I was the first family member of 13 to arrive on sight , but the police department wouldn 't let me on , but I didn 't give a fuck . I charged onto the property just to see the first flame shoot through the metal roof . As I got out of my car , Dawson came over and put his arm around me to keep me from crying too much . Three buildings , ten fire departments , a shit ton of tears , and three buildings later , I was still looking at the fire going strong starting on the next building . Firemen had been there in 100 - degree weather , fighting a devil of a fire with no such luck . It was then determined that nobody would ever step foot into the 200 , 000 square foot building again and that just broke my heart . I was sad for all of the employees that needed this job , who depended on this job , and wanted this job . It was soon pushing 9 o ' clock that evening and my asthma was starting to kick in from all of the smoke and ash I was breathing . I had been ignoring everyone that had been telling me to go home . It wasn 't until I collapsed right in front of Dawson that I was in the vehicle being taken home . He wasn 't released to drive yet , but there was no way that he was going to let me drive in the emotional and physical state that I was in . Since he hadn 't gotten a car yet , we took mine and went back out to the lake for the evening . It was the end of July , so at 10 , we were getting into the lake to cool down and wash off and try to relax . I hadn 't looked at myself to see what my face actually looked like , but I had seen Dawson 's , which was half dirty from ash and dirt . He hadn 't gotten involved that much since nobody would let him , but I had been in everything and was getting in everywhere that I could to do something , so I was sure that I was covered from head to toe with soot . The next week was living hell for all of the family . There were so many decisions that we had to make , minor details that had to be adjusted , and a massive clean up project that needed to be planned . Luckily , the entire community came together as one and the family didn 't have to determine that many details . But the hardest of the days for me came three days after the fire when I was finally able to walk into the building again . It was completely gutted and there was nothing that was even noticeable . I knew where everything was supposed to be , but I was too emotional to even function , that 's when I was thankful that I had Dawson by my side . " I 'm at grandpa 's waiting on the ambulance . He 's in the floor unconscious with blood all around him . We are going to the hospital . " Great , this is just what I needed . From the week vacation that mom and I took before the fire , the fire , a camp I went to , and all of Dawson 's stuff that had been going on , this was the first night that I was able to relax and now I was going to have to be worrying about all of this . Not to mention that I was supposed to be moving to school the next week . This was finally the breaking point for me through everything that had happened , and I think that the alcohol helped , I lost it all . I cried and cried and cried for a good hour before I was finally able to get myself under control . That was when I got the call that said my grandpa was going to be taken by LifeFlight to a heart hospital because they couldn 't figure out what was wrong with him , so I needed to get to the hospital soon if I wanted to see him . Well , not only had Dawson and I consumed an entire bottle of Absolut , but we had also smoked a pack of cigarettes , so we smelled straight up like a bar . But here we were strolling up into the ER looking drunk as fuck , no shoes , smelling like a bar , and stumbling into the entire waiting room of my family and all of the board members of my grandpa 's company . ' Grrrrrreat , ' I thought to myself . Dawson and I died a little inside that night . A week later , it was ready for me to drive out of the driveway and head to school . I was so excited to be moving to school that I could not contain my excitement . I left the night before move in and stayed with Kelli and her sister in her house in the college town , so the two of us could get there first thing in the morning to begin moving in . We got Kelli moved in on Monday and her parents came down and took us both out to lunch and dinner , but it wasn 't until Tuesday that my mom , dad , Joe , and Dawson came to move me into the fraternity house . Dawson had finally gotten a new car , a Range Rover , and was going to stay a couple of nights in town . Not only had Dawson gotten a new car , but my dad was afraid that I would not be able to handle my Escalade in such a small parking lot , that he also surprised me with a brand new car - an X5 ! ! As soon as my parents had left for the evening , after taking us all out to lunch and dinner , Dawson and I decided that we were going to be together for the night . My roommate hadn 't moved in yet and there was nobody on my floor , so it was not a problem that Dawson could stay the night with me in the house . After that was all finalized , I told him to go get into my car and we would go exploring the town . Thirty minutes later , we found ourselves on the outskirts of town on a kind of deserted road . I looked at him slyly and nodded for the back seat . That night , we broke in both my car and his car for the relationship that the two of us had already built . Since my room only had one other bed in it and a lock on the door , Dawson slept with me for that night and the next . Then two days after I had gotten settled , it was time for me to drive an hour and fifteen minutes to his town and help him get moved in . As soon as he was done , we did the exact same ritual with our cars on the country roads . I was in heaven . I actually got to stay the night with him one night and had to wake up extra early the next morning to get back to school so I could go to the first cheer practice of the semester . When I told Dawson goodbye , I had no idea that it would be such a long time before we saw each other again . Even though we lived just an hour and fifteen minutes away , neither one of us ever had a free weekend to visit the other . We were both in frats , both cheerleaders , both carrying 15 hours of college hours , so we were always busy . If I had a home game , he had an away game , and if he had a home game , mine was away . So there was literally no time for us to see each other . Not even 30 extra minutes for us to meet halfway to just say hi to one another . Ultimately , we decided that we would just be better off if we decided to call the relationship quits but remain friends . I thought that sounded childish , but somewhat of a good idea since I had a lot of people that had caught my eye since moving here , so we both decided that would be for the best . It was still another month before the two of us saw each other again . One night after my game , I decided that I would go back home to my mom 's for the night since Dawson was home , too . That was the end of October . We hadn 't seen each other since the middle of August . Needless to say , after we saw each other , the two of us ended up going back to my dad 's house and fucked for five hours that night . It was great . Sunday came way too fast and we had to say goodbye again to each other . School was going incredibly fast . Soon , it was time for Thanksgiving break and I knew that I would get to see Dawson again . We hadn 't seen each other since the night in October that we had fucked for five hours straight and a lot had happened since then . There was this one guy that was in my major that caught my eye the first time that I had seen him and I began fantasizing about him ever since . We spent a lot of time together studying since we had a couple of the same classes together . Chance was a little over two years older than I was and was a transfer student . He had gone to a junior college to complete his basics and was transferring her for an athletic program and our major . I was glad for his decision ! Chance and I had been spending a lot of time together . He would always let me come over to his house if I needed to since I lived in the fraternity house and he figured it was hard to concentrate in there . Well the week before Thanksgiving , I was at his house doing some homework while he was watching a movie . Both of his roommates had already gone home for the holiday since it was later in the week , so it was just the two of us . I was sitting at his dining room table when he came over to look at what I was doing . I hated my economics class and was cussing my professor for giving me homework the weekend before Thanksgiving and an exam the next week . Chance had placed both of his hands on the table next to my computer and placed his chin on my head . I couldn 't help but smile . I laughed and kept working on my homework . I could tell that Chance wasn 't too happy with my decision . Hell , neither was I , but I had to get this done . If I was lucky , enough , I would pull a C in the class after the final . I could just hear my mom bitching at me for making a C in a class since I maintained a 4 . 0 in high school and was valedictorian . We were cuddled up on the couch for about ten minutes when there was a knock on the door . He asked if I could get it . While I was in the middle of my homework , Chance had ordered us pizza . To complete the greasy entrée , there was beer in the fridge to go with it . It was delicious . Once the pizza was gone and a couple beers apiece had been downed , Chance pulled me into him and cuddled me hard on his couch while staring at the television . Chance was 22 years old , 6 ' 2 " , short brown hair and eyes , with a gorgeous straight white teethed smile , and a golden brown tan to make his eyes and smile pop even more . He was muscular , but was not as defined as anyone I had ever been with before , but he did have some good biceps on him . He was also a member of the cheerleading team , so through our intense workouts , he was defining his body more and more . Anyways , he didn 't have abs and oddly enough , I found that more attractive than anything else . While he was holding me close , I could feel his breath on my neck and my eye caught something growing in his lap . I had finally come to my senses and admitted to myself that I was attractive , but I couldn 't believe that I could make a guy go hard with just holding me , but I saw with my own two eyes that he was growing harder and harder . The movie was finally over and Chance was still holding me like there was no tomorrow . I couldn 't believe that he had not loosened his grip on me the entire evening . I finally broke loose of his death grip on me and got us each another beer out of the fridge . He looked a little disappointed when I didn 't sit as close to him as I had been sitting . For the next thirty minutes the two of us sat and talked about anything and everything . We talked about our pasts , family , high school , friends , future , and all of the other good stuff . I was finding Chance more and more irresistible as the minutes drug on . Finally , I couldn 't take it anymore and leaned into him and planted a soft kiss on his lips with no tongue action and sat back down on my feet on the couch . He looked surprised by what I had just done , but then he smiled and sat up on the couch a little more to face me even better . Chance then took his hand and touched my cheek softly and slowly leaned in to find my mouth . His lips were tender and warm against mine . I could feel him exhale through his nose on my face . After a minute or two , he finally slipped his tongue into my mouth . Out of all of the time that I had dated and kissed Jared and Dawson , this was the most passionate kiss that I had ever experienced . He was tender and accurate with every move his tongue , hands , and lips made with my body . Not only was his hand still on my face , but his other hand was resting on my hip . We had been kissing for about ten minutes and his hands were still where they were when we started . He hadn 't tried to feel me up , get on top of me , or move this action into the bedroom . I couldn 't believe what I was experiencing with Chance . He finally broke the kiss and wrapped his arms around my body as I did the same around his neck . I seriously couldn 't believe I was hearing what was being said , but I agreed with that . Even though I was quivering for his mouth to be on my dick , I needed Chance . I wanted Chance . But , in the end , I knew that I had found myself a true gentleman ! Nice work . Always remember the old saying , " If you can 't be with the one you love , love the one you 're with . " ( * 8 * ) |
On the third day after returning home with Lucas and Mark , Micah stepped out through the door of his office to the boardwalk . He leaned against the hitching rail , resting his elbows there , while holding a cup of piping - hot coffee carefully in his hands and surveying the main street of North Fork . As the marshal breathed in the fresh morning air , he thought of how good it was to be back to work . Looking first up one side of the street and then down the other , everything seemed peaceful and as it should be . He smiled and nodded hello to Mr . Hamilton who was just arriving to open the bank for business . Micah sipped at his coffee , then noticed Lucas as he emerged from the Mallory House and walked across the street towards him . Lucas had spent the past two nights at Lou 's hotel after she convinced him to bathe and rest after he was sure his son , Mark , was going to recover . " Lucasboy ? ! Sleep well ? " " Coffee ? Fresh this morning … step inside , " said Micah as he directed Lucas toward the open door . Lucas ducked through the doorway and walked over to the pot - bellied stove , grabbed a cup from the table next to it , and poured himself some of the black liquid as Micah seated himself behind his desk . Lucas then placed a leg over the corner of the desk and perched on the edge as he peered through the open door into the street . He smelled at the rich brew and gingerly took a sip . " We 'll let Doc decide when he thinks the time is right . " The two sat in silence for a few minutes as they sipped their coffee . Then Lucas said , " Let 's get on over there . " The two men drank up , and leaving the empty cups on the desk , walked over to Doc Burrage 's office where Mark had been recuperating for the past three days . Lou had been fussing over Mark all morning . The day before , she brought over a new nightshirt for him and clean clothes for when he could go home . She also had a tub brought in to Doc 's so Mark could finally take a bath . Lucas had helped his son in and out , both taking care not to get the injured ankle wet though it was healing nicely . Mark had complained that it was starting to itch which Doc indicated was a good sign . Now , this morning Lou had brought in a light breakfast from the hotel for Mark , but he wasn 't at all interested in eating . With hands on her hips , Lou questioned the boy , " Finished ? Ye didn 't eat very much , young man ! " She took the tray from Mark 's lap as he reclined in the bed . " I 'm sorry , Miss Lou … I just don 't feel like eating all that . " " That was mighty nice of you , Lou . But , I can see where Mark 's appetite hasn 't returned just yet . " Lucas turned toward the doctor and asked , " Well , Doc , what do you think ? Can I take him home ? " " Luke , after examining him this morning , I don 't see any reason to keep him here any longer . Mark 's breathing is much improved and he has responded well to treatment . " Doc stepped over to the side of the bed and placed a hand on Mark 's shoulder as he began addressing the boy . " I 'll send some medication home with you to keep that cough at bay . The ankle is healing , but you 'll still have to keep it clean and apply the salve I send home with you . You can let it air when you 're in bed , but keep it wrapped when you 're going to be out in the open air . And , Luke , make sure you keep those ribs bandaged for the next week . " Doc turned and grabbed a crutch he had placed in the corner earlier that morning . " Mark , I want you to use this for at least a week or two until you can place more weight on that ankle . And , there 'll be no cleaning the stalls or any heavy chores for the next six weeks until those ribs mend . Do you understand , Mark ? " " Lucas … keep him in bed for a day or two just to make sure he has enough strength to get around with the use of the crutch . Feed him a light diet , plenty of fluids . I 'll be out day after tomorrow to check on him . Then , I want to see this young man back here next Tuesday and we 'll see about allowing some limited activity for him . " " Micah , I 'm glad you haven 't tried to ask him anything just yet . Mark 's not sleeping well and his mind is still fragile from this whole ordeal . Give him until next week , maybe when Luke brings him in for his examination . " They all turned to see Lucas emerge from the recovery room with Mark leaning heavily on his pa for support . The vigilant friends all smiled , happy to see Lucas and Mark finally going home . But , they couldn 't help notice how battered , pale and tired Mark appeared . Micah opened the front door for them as Lou bid her goodbyes . " I 'll be out to see ye both later this week and I 'll have some of that chocolate cake for ya , Mark , when ye come to town next Tuesday ! " said Lou as she gently cupped Mark 's cheek in her palm . " Thanks , Lou ! " said Lucas with a smile as he nodded towards her . " You too , Doc ! " He helped Mark out to the street where Nils was waiting with the McCain 's team , buckboard , and a surprise for his young friend . Nils tied the two horses to the back of the buckboard and then helped Lucas get Mark onto the seat . Lucas thanked Nils for all of his help . As Lucas rounded the other side of the wagon , Micah pulled him aside and encouraged him to bring Mark in to make his statement when they both returned to town the next week . Lucas climbed up into his seat , and with their tack and gear piled in the back , he motioned the team and turned the buckboard around . Lou waved after them as she walked back to her hotel . Micah stood with Nils and Doc as they watched Lucas and Mark leave town . " What do ya think , Doc ? " asked the marshal . As the two drove for home , Lucas explained how he and Micah had gone into Red Wing while searching for Mark , about their new friend , Mr . Wilkins , and about finding Mark 's rifle and the horses in the stable - owner 's care . He also told his son about their return to the small town , how Mr . Wilkins helped with the medical attention Mark had needed and also supplied them with a means to get Mark safely back to North Fork . Mark seemed to be listening to his pa , but his mind kept wandering off as the image of Bantry crept through his subconscious . Lucas took care not to mention Bantry by name and told his son that he didn 't have to talk about what had happened until he was ready , but that Micah would need a statement before too long . " He hopes you will be ready by the time I take you in to see Doc next week . " Lucas looked over at Mark who was staring off into the distance . " Mark ? Did you hear me , son ? " " Uh , sure Pa . " Though Mark had answered him , Lucas realized that Mark didn 't fully comprehend what he was agreeing to . Lucas glanced sideways at his son as a worried look crossed his face . They topped the ridge in the road leading down to their ranch , and Lucas pulled up on the team hesitating a moment , then said with a broad smile , " Look good to you , son ? " Lucas stopped the team and buckboard in front of the house . Though Mark seemed happy to finally be home , Lucas could tell there was something not right with his son . He wasn 't his usual inquisitive self and maybe it was just the ride from town that had tired Mark so . The rancher helped the boy from the seat of the buckboard , placed the crutch under Mark 's left arm , and gently held his right , mindful of the injured ribs . They made it onto the porch and Lucas turned the knob and swung the door open . The front room was cleaned up from the last time he had seen it thanks to Toomey and his son . Mark hobbled through the door and peered around the room spying his hat still hanging where he had left it on the hook near the bedroom door . Everything looked just the same as the day he was last there cleaning the rabbits , but in his heart … things weren 't the same . " I sure am glad to be home , Pa . " " Me , too , son … it 's been a long time . " Lucas followed closely making sure Mark didn 't lose his balance as he moved slowly in front of the fireplace . Mark teetered there for a second , then signed deeply and began to cough . Lucas took the crutch from his son as he swept an arm under Mark 's and guided him towards the bedroom . " Let 's get you into bed , son , and give you some of the medicine Doc sent along . I 'll get all the horses bedded down and then make supper for us . How does that sound ? " Lucas got Mark to the bedroom where he helped him undress and got him under the covers . He propped Mark up with some pillows and made sure he was comfortable . Once again , Lucas made the suggestion to his son , " Mark , you really should try to eat something . How about if I heat up some of the chicken broth Lou sent along ? " " If you … " Coughing interrupted Mark 's statement . " If you insist , Pa . " Lucas went out to the kitchen and returned quickly with some water and made sure Mark took the correct dosage of his medication . Then Lucas said , " I 've got the broth heating on the stove . I 'm going out to the barn and then I 'll bring in our things . It won 't take long . I 'll bring a cup of broth in to you when I come back in . " " Pa , you don 't have to fuss over me like I 'm a little kid … that 's what Lou was doing , " said Mark as his eyes met his father 's . " Mark , I 'm so grateful to have you home safe and sound . You 're just going to have to accept me hovering over you for now . It won 't last long ! " said Lucas with a sheepish grin . Pa 's joshing produced a trace of a smile on Mark 's lips ; he was glad to be back on the ranch . And , though he was home , why didn 't he feel safe ? Lucas walked outside and grinned to himself . That smile he had gotten out of his son was the first one Lucas had seen from Mark in quite some time . Maybe Doc was wrong about Mark 's recovery . Maybe the boy was going to be alright after all . * * * * * That night , Lucas came in from bedding the horses and checked on Mark to find him asleep . He turned down the lantern in the bedroom and quietly closed the door . He removed his boots and stoked the fire , then sat in his leather chair next to the fireplace to read from his Bible . After reading for half an hour , Lucas yawned and looked up at the clock . Nine o ' clock … and he needed to get an early start in the morning ; there was a lot to do around the ranch after being gone so long . Even though Mr . Toomey and Freddy had taken care of some things while Lucas and Mark were away , there was still much to catch up on . That and taking care of Mark meant long days for the next few weeks . Lucas stood and stretched , and after placing the Bible back in its drawer next to his chair , he checked the front door and turned out the lamp . He opened the door to the bedroom to find Mark groaning in his sleep and tossing about in the bed . It was happening again . " NO ! Please … PLEASE ! " screamed Mark as he sat up in bed . In his sleep he struggled against his foe , breathing hard , gasping and coughing . Lucas was at Mark 's side and grabbed the boy 's shoulders to try and gently shake him from his sleep . " Mark , you 're alright … it 's just a dream , son . It 's just a dream … " " It 's alright . You 're fine … go back to sleep now , " said Lucas as he encouraged Mark to lie back down and tucked the covers around him . " Pa ? " pleaded Mark . He could tell from the look on his son 's face that he didn 't want to be alone . In a gentle voice , he assured his son , " Go back to sleep , Mark … I 'll be right here . " Lucas readied himself for bed and tried to sleep . But the night proved restless for them both . There would be no peaceful nights in the McCain house for some time to come . Lucas made Mark stay in bed another two days as Doc had suggested . The boy drank the chicken broth his pa provided , protesting each time , as he became increasingly tired of it . And , while Mark 's physical condition improved with each passing day , his mood remained dark and sullen . Mr . Griswold was so happy to see Mark returned safely home . After a rocky start between the two , teacher and student had become good friends . The teacher soon realized he could learn much from his student , and Mark watched as Mr . Griswold became an exceptional teacher . Mark began to excel at his schoolwork much to the delight of Griswold and his pa . Today , as he piled books at Mark 's side , Mr . Griswold detected an unfamiliar air of moodiness from the boy . He reviewed the lessons Mark had missed over the last two weeks and gave him his studies for the next two . He told him of the activities the students had been involved in and of the upcoming Spring Festival which would be a fund raiser to get new books for the school . He expressed his hope that Mark would be well enough in time to attend the festival , and then he bid his student a good day and walked out to his horse and buggy . Lucas came from the barn to see Mr . Griswold preparing to leave . He walked over to the buggy and placed a gloved hand on top of one of the wheels . " Thanks for bringing Mark 's work to him . " " You are most welcome , Mr . McCain . I left written instructions with him and reviewed the work he needs to catch up on . I do hope you and Mark will be able to attend the Spring Festival next month . " Griswold hesitated a moment , then asked a question that was weighing on him , " Tell me , how is Mark … really ? " " He 's recovering , Mr . Griswold . But , with what he 's been through , it could take some time . " " I see , well … I do hope we see him back in school soon . If you need me to bring more work for him , please let me know . " Mr . Griswold cracked the whip lightly at the horse 's hind - quarter as he pulled away from the ranch . With afternoon chores finished , Lucas washed up and went into the house to check on Mark . He entered the bedroom to find Mark 's school books in a heap on the floor . " What happened , did you drop them ? " Lucas asked . He bent to pick up the books and began stacking them on the table next to Mark 's bed . Anger rose in Lucas ' voice as he tried to reason with his son . " That 's no cause to throw your books on the floor . You know how expensive these are ! " Soon , Doc was closing the door on the bedroom and came to sit at the table where Lucas had waited . " He seems to be mending nicely . With any luck , he should be able to return to school week after next . Luke … I 'm going to leave some sedative with you . It 's a different kind , a powder you can mix with water so that Mark can drink it . Give it to him for the next three nights before he goes to bed and see how he does . " " Only for a time , Lucas , only for a time . He can 't take this indefinitely . Now , you need to get him up and moving . Let him get dressed and sit out on the porch a few times a day … get some fresh air . It 'll give him a new perspective on things … he can read and get caught up with his schoolwork . " Doc thought a moment , and then said in a soothing voice , " The only way he is going to get over this is if he starts talking … over the next few days , you need to get that boy talking . He needs to talk about what happened to him and get it out into the open . I know Micah expects to talk to him next week , but before that can happen … that boy needs to open up to you . " During the course of the week , Lucas allowed Mark to dress and sit out on the porch several times a day . He would help Mark make his way out to a chair and bench he placed there for him where Mark could prop up his foot and read and watch his pa . Lucas took some of his reading books out for him and encouraged his son to start catching up on his schoolwork . Lou came to visit one afternoon and brought some food for Lucas and his son . Mark was in bed , but awake , when she arrived and Lucas told her to go on in and sit with him for a spell . Lou tried to make small talk with the boy , but he wouldn 't engage in conversation . She told him a funny story about one of her guests thinking it would cheer him , but Mark didn 't laugh or even offer a smile . As the week progressed , Mark 's cough seemed to get better . It was less of a problem now and didn 't cause severe pain to his ribs when he did cough . And , with the help of the sedative , Mark was actually able to get some sleep and Lucas , too . But , the powders had run out now and it would be two more days until they were due in town for Mark 's appointment with the doctor . Lucas grew more and more concerned because his son still looked just as frail as the day they found him with Bantry . He was still refusing most food , he said he just didn 't feel hungry , and he had dark circles under his eyes . He remained quiet and pensive , and didn 't have any interest in talking or anything else , for that matter . Lucas kept trying , though , and Sunday evening Mark finally gave in to his pa 's efforts and agreed to eat a meal . " Mark , you 've been sitting in that bed enough . Why don 't you have supper out here with me tonight ? It 's almost ready … here you can sit in my chair and rest until it 's on the table . " " Alright … I am kinda tired of the broth , " Mark said as he moved into position near the chair , dropped the crutch on the floor and then lowered himself into the seat . " Well , I 'll have food on the table shortly , " said Lucas as he worked at the stove . He had prepared some pork chops and fried potatoes , one of Mark 's favorite meals . As he cooked , he would shoot a glance now and then over at Mark to try and determine what kind of mood his son might be in . He hoped to get the boy to talk to him tonight . " You know , son , Blue Boy is missing you . He whinnies every time he sees you out on the porch . Hopefully Doc will let you start riding after Tuesday . . . " Lucas ' words were falling on deaf ears as Mark sat staring into the fire . He drifted off to sleep in just moments and soon ' he ' was there , laughing his evil laugh . " Heh … heh … heh … " In his dream , Mark was running … running through pine trees which cast long shadows before him . He backed into a dark corner and suddenly held a six - gun in his hands . Bantry taunted , " I 'm gonna kill yor Pa ! " " Mark , Mark ! Wake up … you 're dreaming ! " Mark opened his eyes and pressed his back into the chair as he slid down retreating from the figure before him . Lucas knelt before his son and placed a hand on Mark 's shoulder trying to calm and reassure him . " Pa ? ! It was him ! He … he was gonna kill you … " Mark cried in a panicked voice . " No … no , Pa ! " protested Mark with fear in his eyes . He didn 't think he could face talking about ' him ' in the here and now . It would make the outlaw and his treatment of Mark too real to handle . " Alright , son … , " said Lucas . He felt dejected but would try again . " Well , supper 's on the table . Here , let me help you up . " Lucas picked up the crutch and stood in front of Mark , and then he handed the crutch to his son . He extended a hand for Mark to grab on to and helped hoist him from the chair . " Yes , you did … you did think I was going to hit you ! Mark , you know I would never … ? " Lucas stopped short of finishing his sentence as he looked at the fading bruises on Mark 's face , his brow wrinkled with worry , " What did that animal do to you , son ? " Tears were forming in Mark 's eyes as he began to shake . His pa 's words forced him to remember flashes of Bantry 's actions . " Pa , I just can 't … I can 't talk about it ! " " If I talk about it … about him … it 's as if he 's here right now ! It 's like it 's happening right now ! And , I can 't , I can 't face it … " Mark buried his face in his arms on the table . His muffled sobs tore at Lucas ' heart ; he couldn 't stand seeing his son in such pain and anguish . Mark just wanted to run away from his thoughts , but he knew he couldn 't escape them . He rose up and brushed a sleeve across his tear - streaked face , " I 'm tired now , Pa … may I be excused ? " " Sure , son … why don 't you go to bed . I 'll be there in a little while . " Lucas watched as Mark moved slowly off to the bedroom and closed the door . He thought to himself , ' There must be some way to help him through this , ' and Lucas was determined to find it . The ride into town was long and silent . No words were exchanged between father and son . Mark averted his eyes from the stares of the townsfolk as they stopped to watch Lucas pull the buckboard past the livery and down the street to Micah 's office . Lucas climbed down from the buckboard and grabbed the crutch , then helped the boy safely down . " You go on over to Doc 's , son … I 'll be there shortly . " " Alright … " said Mark glumly as he turned to hobble towards Doc Burrage 's office . Mark tapped on the office door just as Doc , who had seen the boy approaching , opened it . The action slightly startled the boy who appeared embarrassed . " Mark , come in … come in , " Doc said cheerfully . " Here , let me take that crutch from you and you have a seat right here next to my desk . " After Mark was seated , the doctor sat in his office chair and cleared his throat . It took Doc one look at the sunken eyes and somber mood to know the boy 's mental state . " Hmmm … , " said Doc rubbing his chin . " Well , get that shirt off and let me help you up on the examining table . We 'll check out those ribs and that ankle of yours . " Mark complied , and Doc listened first to Mark 's chest with his stethoscope as he had the boy breath in and out . This produced a bit of coughing , but Doc wasn 't too concerned . As he began to look over Mark 's injuries and contusions , he continued questioning the boy . " So , tell me … how are you sleeping ? Still having the bad dreams ? " Finished with the examination and satisfied with the improvements to the boy 's physical condition , Doc took in a deep , slow breath and looked Mark in the eye . " Son , your injuries are healing and your lungs sound much better . That cough will probably hang on for a bit longer , but that will cease sooner or later . Continue with the cough medicine … I 'll give your pa some more to take home . I 'd say you should be able to start back to school in a day or two , but no riding until Monday . " " Yes , but no riding until Monday . Absolutely no galloping , just walk the horse . Those ribs will need a bit more time to heal . You can start doing some light chores … like feeding the chickens or doing dishes . But , no heavy lifting for another month . " Lucas picked up Mark 's shirt from the back of the chair and handed it to his son . " Why don 't you get dressed and go on over to Micah 's . He 's waiting for you . I 'll be over after I speak with Doc . " Mark dressed and climbed down from the examining table with help from Lucas . " Mark , leave the crutch here with your father . He can bring it along . I want you to start trying to walk on that leg . It may hurt a bit at first , but you 'll get the strength back in that ankle before you know it . " Mark hesitated in leaving and it wasn 't that he was afraid to walk without the crutch ; he didn 't want to go talk to Micah , he didn 't want to be forced to talk about ' him ' . " Go on , Mark , " said Lucas as he held the door open , imploring his son . Lucas made sure Mark kept his balance as he made his way over to the marshal 's office . Then Lucas closed the door and turned towards the doctor , " He 's not getting any better , Doc ! He can 't sleep , he can 't eat … he won 't talk to me . His dreams are torturing him , and I don 't know what else I can do to get through to him . " " Hmmm … I see . Luke , do you recall how some men were , and still are , after the war ? The slightest noise , even an image can startle them . They react as if they are still living ' in the war ' . That 's what 's happening to your son . He 's still fighting Bantry in his dreams . And , I 'm afraid he 's starting to fight his ghost in the present by the sound of things . He may get worse before he gets better . " As Doc Burrage began to outline what they could do to help improve Mark 's mental condition , Lucas interrupted . " Doc , what if he won 't … what if he won 't talk to me ? He 's been so quiet and sad . I 'm afraid he is shutting himself off . " " The melancholy and the detachment is part of it … and , he may start to show signs of anger as he fights his way through this . The slightest thing might cause an outburst . You 're just going to need even more patience and show more love and kindness towards your son than you already have . But , I don 't want you babying him . " Lucas stared out the window towards the marshal 's office as he grew concerned about how the interview with Mark was going . He was afraid for his son . " You 're going to have to push him to talk , Luke . It 's the best thing to help him start healing . . . emotionally . You need to find out what really happened to him with Bantry , so you can help the boy deal with it . In time , I 'm confident Mark can overcome this . " Mark shifted nervously in Micah 's chair where the marshal had instructed him to take a seat . He wanted the boy to ' be comfortable ' during his statement . Mark fidgeted and shuffled his feet , and then he removed his hat and placed it on the desk while running his hand through his hair . Micah slowly paced back and forth on the other side of the desk with a tablet of paper and a pencil in his hand . " Just relax , Mark . " I 'll try , Micah , " Mark replied as he first crossed and then uncrossed his legs . " Now … consider yourself under oath here , Mark . I need you to tell the truth and I need you to tell me what happened to the best of your knowledge and in your own words . You can take your time … I 'm going to be writing some notes while you relay your statement . There 's going to be a series of questions , and the first one is … what happened when you were taken hostage ? " He waited for Mark to begin but saw the boy hesitating , " Go ahead , son . " Mark first cleared his throat , inhaled with tightened lips , then exhaled before he began , " Pa had gone into town and I … I was at the ranch feeding the chickens af ' … after cleaning the rabbits I shot earlier . " He spoke haltingly , trying to piece together what must have happened , " There were shadows , long shadows … and , and I … never saw him coming . He must 've … hit me over the head with somethin ' . I think I was knocked out for a long time ' cause … when I came to we were … we were in the cabin . " " It was dark when I came to … it was hard to see . " Mark 's breathing became shallower as he continued to talk . " I thought it was Pa at first … until the man came towards me . Then I … I new it was him ! " " Bantry … it was Earl Bantry ! " There he had said it … he had said ' his ' name out loud ! It had happened ! He was taken by the most evil man Mark had ever seen and thought he would never have to see again and subjected to brutal treatment he had never experienced before . Mark pulled at his shirt collar ; though it wasn 't buttoned … it felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room . " Was there anyone else with him ? " inquired the marshal as he continued walking back and forth . " No … NO ! He had me chained up … I … I couldn 't get away ! He left me in that cabin alone in the dark , and when he would come back … he , he was drunk most the time . He 'd yell and cuss and call Pa some terrible names . He said he was gonna kill him … he was gonna kill Pa ! " " It 's alright , boy … calm down , " said Micah as he picked up the glass of water and held it out for Mark . " Here … take a drink . Go as slow as you need to , son … we 've got plenty of time . " Lucas had left Doc 's office and walked over to peek through Micah 's window . Satisfied that Mark seemed to be doing okay , he moved over to the buckboard and climbed up to have a seat in the back . He sat dangling his legs and holding his rifle in his lap as he watched the townsfolk walk by , greeting some with the tip of his hat or offering a friendly , ' hello ' . " Hello , Lucas , " she called out as she approached . " Oh … hello , Lou . " Lucas smiled at her , though he wasn 't particularly pleased to be having to talk to Lou right now . He just wanted to get his son and go home . Lou came around the wagon to the boardwalk and leaned against the back wheel looking up at the rancher , " Waitin ' fer Mark ? " " Not with Micah … oh , ye know what I mean … He , he seemed so sad when I stopped by the other day . He should be happy ta be back home with ye safe and sound . Have ye gotten ta talk with him about what happened ? " " He 's going be fine , Lou . Sometimes a man 's just got to deal with things in his own time and in his own way . " " Oh , do ye now ? " Feeling her Irish blood beginning to boil , Lou turned away and paused a moment to compose herself . She turned back around , placed a hand on Lucas ' knee , and in a calmer voice she offered , " Lucas … I 'm yer friend … and I just want ta help ye any way I can . Ye know that much , don 't ya ? " Lucas looked into Lou 's eyes and gave her half a smile . He knew she was just trying to help . " I know , Lou . I just … " Lucas hesitated in answering because the truth was … he didn 't really know the best way to help his son either . Mark 's hand was shaking as he picked up the water glass , gulped down its contents , and then set the glass back down on the desk . He closed his eyes and swallowed hard as he tried to form the words that would explain those agonizing days so Micah would fully understand what he had gone through . " Mark … ? " " I felt like a slave , Micah , " said Mark with tension in his voice . " I was chained up like an animal and when he … when he did let me up , he never let me out of his sight . " Mark 's words became angrier , " I had to fix his food , and when I 'd ask for water or something to eat … he 'd … he 'd yell at me or throw things at me ! " Tears started to slide down Mark 's face and he angrily wiped them away with a clinched fist . " He 'd … he 'd get drunk … and yell … and tell me over and over that he was gonna kill Pa ! He kicked me and beat me … he kept beating me and I … I … " Mark slammed his fist on the desk and then buried his face in the crook of his arm . Micah could barely hear his muffled voice as Mark cried , " I couldn 't … I couldn 't get away … " Mark 's emotions were getting the best of him and Micah knew that he had to finish his questioning or give Mark a break . " Son , I 'm almost finished … just a few more questions , and then we 'll be done . I promise , " said Micah as he rounded the desk and patted Mark 's shoulder trying to reassure the boy . " Mark … can you sit up , son ? " Mark took in a deep breath as he tried to gather the strength to continue , speaking now in a lower tone , slow and deliberate , " Both times he left , I thought … I thought he was leaving me there alone … alone ta die . But he … he always came back . He 'd point that gun at me … telling me if I … if I tried anything , he 'd shoot me ! " Mark clinched his fists and gritted his teeth as he went on , " I can still smell the whiskey on his breath ! He said Pa was gonna be dead ! And he said … he said when Pa was gone , that … that I would have to call him Pa ! " Tears again rolled down Mark 's face as he tried hard to keep going , his voice growing steadily louder and angrier as he spoke faster and faster , " I tried to think of ways to get away … but my ankle , it hurt so bad … I couldn 't walk . It was so cold up there … the fire was always burned out … and , and I started to get sick . And , I was so hungry … why he 'd eaten nearly all the supplies he stole from our house . Then I found the pepper tin , and I thought … I thought if I put all the pepper in his food , maybe … maybe he would get sick too … and I could get out of the cabin and take his horse . . . " Mark gasped for air , this painful recounting taking everything out of him . " You 're almost finished , Mark , " said Micah as he willed the boy to go on . Mark suddenly felt cold … he was shaking as he tried to speak , his teeth chattering as the words tumbled out in a rush , " I did it … I put the pepper in his food . But , it just … it just made him madder . I tried to get out the door , but … but he grabbed me and he threw me across the room ! He was yelling and pointing the gun at my head . He said … he said that it was my last mistake and that … that … and we … we heard your voice . Then he was holding me and pointing the gun at Pa and … and they were fighting . I picked it up … I picked up the gun ! I wanted … I wanted to . . . ! " The marshal watched helpless as the boy screamed in an uncontrollable rage . Lucas stepped in front of Micah , his back towards the marshal and facing his son with outstretched arms . " Micah , what … what happened ? " he shouted back over his shoulder . " Lucas … I 'm sorry … I don 't know … I don 't . . . " Mark continued screaming at Micah , " I wanted to kill him … kill him the way you should have two years ago ! But , you didn 't … you didn 't ! You had your chance and you didn 't do it ! YOU let him do this to me ! YOU LET HIM DO THIS TO ME ! " Lucas tried to yell above Mark 's shouting and get him to calm down , " Mark ! Mark ! " He grabbed the boy 's shoulders and shook him , but Mark continued to scream . His eyes grew wide with fear and he began to struggle as if he wanted to run , but Lucas wrapped his arms around him and held his son tight . Mark fought against his father , coughing , sobbing and screaming over and over , " Kill him ! Kill him ! " Lucas couldn 't believe this was happening ; Mark was yelling and pointing as if Bantry were standing right before him . " Kill him now ! What are you waiting for ? ! He 's gonna kill Pa ! KILL HIM ! PA ! ! " A strong coughing fit struck Mark , almost as bad as the first day they had found him . She ran for the doctor 's office . As soon as Lou started to explain what was happening over at the marshal 's , Doc knew what was needed . He grabbed his medical bag and rushed with her back to Micah 's . Doc quickly accessed the scene and began yelling instructions , " Micah , get over here and help Lucas hold him . Watch his legs ! " Doc opened his bag , pulled out a needle and syringe and filled it with Laudanum . Mark was out of control and no longer aware of his surroundings . He only saw Bantry in front of him , taunting and laughing . Mark was breathing hard and struggled to get free of the arms restraining him . He kicked and screamed , " NO … NO ! " Doc yelled , " Rip his sleeve , I need to get this into his arm ! " Lucas grabbed hold of the top of Mark 's sleeve and ripped the seams apart as he pulled the material down to his son 's elbow . Doc then told the two men to get Mark down on the floor , and when they had him held securely , Doc moved in and waited for just the moment when he could get the needle into Mark 's arm without breaking it off . Within moments , Mark stopped struggling and his breathing slowed . His screams turned to mumbling noises and he soon relaxed in Lucas ' arms as the medication took control . Micah sat back on his heels and pulled out his bandanna to blot at his eyes and wipe the sweat from his brow . Lou brought over some water which she handed to Micah , then she looked down at Lucas with tears in her eyes and placed a hand to her lips . Lucas , breathing hard and shaking from the struggle , pulled his son into a sitting position and held him tight in front of him just as he had when Mark collapsed in front of Bantry 's cabin . Doc sat down in Micah 's chair , propped an elbow on the desk and rested his head against the back of the chair . The sun cascaded through the windows and filled the room with pockets of shadows and light . The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall . An hour later , Micah helped Lucas get Mark over to the hotel where Lou had prepared a room for the father and son . Lucas placed Mark in the bed and pulled the covers around him . Doc said the boy would sleep until the morning , and if there were no more outbursts , Lucas could take him home . He pulled a chair over to the bed next to his son and sat down to keep vigil as he had too many times before . As evening fell , a lamp on the nightstand next to the bed , its wick turned down low , cast the image of Lucas on the wall behind him . Downstairs , Lou , Doc and Micah sat quiet for a while at one of the dining room tables , none of them hungry and all too exhausted to discuss what had happened . Doc finally excused himself and went to his office to go to bed . Micah finished the cup of coffee Lou had brought to the table and pushed back his chair to excuse himself . " I don 't know , Lou . I honestly don 't know , " he said shaking his head . " All we can do is be here when they need us . " Micah turned , took his hat from the rack in the corner and placed it on his head . He bid his host goodnight and walked slowly out to the darkened street . * * * * * A cool , gray morning had arrived and Lou agreed to sit with a still - sleeping Mark so Lucas could go talk to Micah and Doc about the previous day . Lucas descended the stairs and crossed the hotel lobby . The last of the breakfast patrons were just leaving except for the marshal and the doctor , who sat waiting for him in the dining room . As Lucas approached , Micah shoved an available chair out from the table , " Here , Lucasboy … have a seat . You look terrible . " " Got anything stronger ? " Lucas asked as he sat down in the chair . He placed his elbows on the table and rubbed his eyes with the backs of his hands as he tried to shake off his weariness . Micah snorted , " Hmmm … might early for anything else , isn 't it ? " " I know this is confusing , but obviously what we 've been doing isn 't working . " " I don 't know what to do … I feel like he is shutting me out . If Mark doesn 't tell me what happened , how can I help him ? " Micah interjected , " From what he told me yesterday … the beatings and the violent death threats against him and you … being chained up , half starved , and wondering if he was ever going to get out of there alive and see you again . " Micah hung his head as he continued , " I 'm sorry I had to put him through that ! I 've got enough for my report , I … I won 't be questioning him again . " With a wave of his hand , Lucas refused to accept Micah 's apology ; he knew Mark 's reaction wasn 't the marshal 's fault . Especially not after Doc further explained Mark 's mental condition and what they might expect . " Micah , you 're questions may have triggered Mark 's violent outburst , " said Doc , " but they didn 't cause it . It 's something buried deep in his mind . Unfortunately , he has to face it to get over it and your questioning was just the beginning . Luke , you 'll have to continue to get him talking … but in a controlled way , maybe of an evening and then , just for short amounts of time . And , what he needs even more is to get back to some normal routine , get him back in school and doing some light , daily chores … help him to stop dwelling on this thing day in and day out . " " He 's so full of hatred and bitterness . What if the dreams continue ? What if he can 't get over this ? " asked Lucas with fear in his voice . " I just want my son back . " Micah leaned in towards Lucas , " You 've been where Mark is … maybe not this low , but you know something of what he 's feeling . That murdering outlaw may be dead , but what he put that boy through is haunting him and tearing him apart . Don 't let Bantry 's ghost come between you and your son ! " " Lucas , just know that we 're here for you … both of you , " offered Micah . " We can all be on guard for that boy , now . " Lucas rose up from a slouching position and squared his shoulders with renewed determination , " I 'm not going to let Bantry take over … he 's not getting my son . " Moonlight streamed through the window , illuminating the room . Lucas sat up in bed and swung his legs down to the floor . Sitting on the edge of his bunk , he peered at his son through the half - light . " Pa … PA … he 's got a gun … PA ! " Lucas went to Mark 's side and gently shook him , " Mark , wake up , son … you 're dreaming again . " And , so it went night after night as the bad dreams continued into the next month , but father and son seemed to become accustomed to them … almost as if they were something normal and to be expected . Always the same , Mark would wake screaming in terror and thrashing about , his eyes wide with fear , his body drenched in sweat . Lucas would calm him and they both would try to go back to sleep . Though he had returned to school , the sleepless nights wore on Mark 's face like that of an old man . He couldn 't concentrate on his work , and his grades began to suffer . He was somber and indifferent ; the slightest thing would agitate him . Mr . Griswold became very concerned about the boy . The teacher had encouraged Mark to get involved in the preparations for the Spring Festival , but the boy showed no interest . The day of the festival was bright and warm , a beautiful spring day . All the students , their parents , and other townsfolk were in attendance . Lucas had arranged to meet Mark there , but as he walked around the school grounds , he didn 't see his son , " Lucy , have you seen Mark anywhere ? " Lucas walked around the school two times hoping to encounter Mark as he made his way through the crowd of people enjoying their picnic . The rancher spied Mr . Griswold talking with Toomey and his son under the shade of a tall oak . He walked over to where they stood , and with the tip of his hat , greeted them cheerfully , " Toomey , Mr . Griswold … hello Freddy ! " They all shook their head , no . " Oh , well , " said Lucas looking around , " Guess he hasn 't arrived yet . " Mr . Toomey grabbed Freddy 's shoulders and guided him away as he called back , " We hope Mark gets better soon , Lucas . " Lucas watched the father and son walk away , his head tilted and one eyebrow drawn up questioning the tone of Toomey 's statement . He shrugged it off and turned his focus to the teacher , " Mr . Griswold , I 've been meaning to ask how Mark is doing in school ? " " I 'm sorry , Mr . McCain , I … " Lucas closed his eyes , anger and worry creasing his brow . " It 's not your fault … " * * * * * Lucas rode hard to the ranch driving Razor at a gallop . He arrived to see Blue Boy standing in the paddock as he jumped from his horse and threw the reins over the hitching rail . He marched up to the porch and threw open the door finding Mark sitting in a chair at the table . " What do you mean ? What were you doing every day I thought you were in school ? ! " Lucas asked as he took off his hat and threw it on the table in a rage . " Nothing ! " Lucas mocked . " Mark … you are to stay here every day and study . I want your schoolwork caught up , and if you can ditch school … then you can damn sure stay here and work on your chores … do you hear me ? ! " he yelled pointing his finger in Mark 's face . Lucas made for the door as he sternly added , " I 've got to take care of the stock . And , since Doc says you are healing just fine , it 's time you started pulling some more weight around here . When you get through with your lessons , you can fix supper ! " Placing his hat on his head , Lucas stopped short of the door and wheeled around with his jaw dropped open in disbelief . He rushed forward and hammered his fist on the table causing Mark to jump back . His eyes narrowed as he glared at his son , then he stabbed at the air with his finger emphasizing every word , " Boy , you are being disrespectful … and , I do NOT EVER want to hear you speak to me that way again ! Do you understand ? Do you UNDERSTAND me , Mark ? ! " " Go ! " said Lucas angrily with his back still turned . Mark hesitated as he looked at the man standing there . In his heart , he knew it was Pa , but his fears had him seeing Bantry . He turned and ran for the barn . ' Heh … heh … heh , you 're my son now ! ' The outlaw stood before him laughing and waving his gun . ' You 'll be just like me ! ' " No , no … " Mark moaned as he tossed and turned in his bunk . Someone was calling him from a distance . Mark rushed for the open door , but the hand pulled him back . " No , no … " He struggled and fought to get away . The shadows … the shadows … it was too dark . Two men were fighting … punching , kicking … one man held the other to the ground … choking him … killing him . Mark couldn 't breath … he had to do something . The gun … it was there in front of him . He picked it up … he held the gun in his hands ; he pulled back the hammer and squeezed the trigger . A shot rang out … the shadows … he couldn 't see … no ! Mark sat straight up in his bunk , shaking and gasping for air , straining to see through the darkness . Breathing hard , his heart pounding in his chest , Mark slammed his eyes shut as hot tears streamed down his face … he remembered … he remembered . He wanted to run , he wanted out of there . He closed his mouth tight and tried not to make a sound . He could see Pa still sleeping in his bunk across the room , so he got up quietly and slipped out , pulling the bedroom door closed behind him . He made his way to the front door and slowly turned the knob . Still shaking , Mark stepped out on the porch . He grabbed for the post , pulled himself to it and rested his head against the wood . He remembered … he didn 't want to … He clamped his mouth shut trying to suppress his cries ; he didn 't want Pa to hear him . He didn 't want to have to face him . Mark slid down and sat leaning against the post . His whole body shook as he sat there sobbing , his shoulders rising and falling as his mind raced . The figures came at him ; the cougar … Charlie shot dead … Pa 's rifle … Marty pulling a gun on Pa . He wrapped an arm around the post and held fast , his thoughts rushing around him , poking at him and prodding . Bantry stood before him … pointing his gun . The outlaw was choking Pa … killing him . The images consumed him and with his knees pulled up bracing his arms , Mark buried his face and cried . Soon the call of a whippoorwill begged his attention . Mark rose up and wiped at his face with the sleeve of his longjohns as he slowly breathed in and out . The moonlit hills of the ranch lie softly before him … beautiful in their blanket of mist , but offering him no peace . The whippoorwill called again , and Mark looked up into the night . Wisps of clouds swept the indigo sky as the full moon peeked out now and again to reveal a million stars . Suddenly , a breeze picked up the strands of hair falling at Mark 's forehead and gently brushed it aside . It was if heaven were calling to him ; he lifted his face towards it as persistent tears fell . Mark closed his eyes again and prayed , " God , please … please help me . I don 't know what to do … please . " He waited there , face tilted upwards … but no answer came to him . The breeze wafted again , tossing Mark 's hair , and he brushed it back with his hand . He stood slowly and sighed , he was so tired . He took one more look across the hills , then returned to his bed to try and sleep . Posted : Mon Apr 05 , 2010 4 : 31 am Post subject : Over the next few days , Mark did everything he could to avoid Pa . He pretended to sleep late , and only rose after Pa had left the house . He would busy himself with small chores when Pa was at home . He was ashamed that he had caused his father so much grief , and he was sorry for being disrespectful , but Pa just wouldn 't understand . Mark couldn 't bear to talk to him , much less face him . One morning , Lucas left a note for Mark telling him he would be first going into town and then out on the north fence line in the afternoon , and he left instructions for Mark to groom Razor and Blue Boy . He took the buckboard and drove into North Fork . When asked by Nils and John Hamilton how Mark was doing , he couldn 't bring himself to tell them the truth and answered cheerfully , " Mark 's coming along … won 't be long before he 's back to his old self . " He couldn 't fool Doc , though , who saw right through Lucas ' deception . He had heard what had happened between Freddy and Mark , and how he was sent home from school . " I want to see that boy on Tuesday , it 'll be six weeks , " insisted the doctor . " More than likely , he 'll be released from all restrictions and be able to get back to normal . " " Normal , Doc ? " questioned Lucas . Doc 's parting words were for Luke to have patience with his son , but his patience was wearing thin . He didn 't find Micah any more helpful . " But , when , Micah ? ! " " Only God knows the answer to that , Lucasboy . Besides , you 'd never give up on that boy … no matter what . " * * * * * The afternoon sun was warm on Mark 's face as he turned Razor out into the corral . He walked back into the barn and gently spoke to his horse which flicked its ears towards Mark . " Your turn , Blue Boy … that 's a boy . Get on over there , " he said as he entered Blue Boy 's stall . Mark saw the pitchfork leaning against the post , and had half a mind to start mucking the stall , but knew he shouldn 't as he felt of his ribs . They didn 't hurt at all anymore , but just thinking about the injury got him thinking on Bantry again . He shook his head to try and make the thoughts go away . " Soon as Doc says it 's okay , me and you are goin ' ridin ' , " said the boy to his horse . Blue Boy nickered as Mark brushed across his back . " You sure do need this … " said Mark as he patted the horse 's flank . He continued combing and brushing , it felt good to be tending the horses . It also kept Mark 's mind from wandering into his darkest thoughts . * * * * * Lucas pulled the buckboard and team to a halt in front of the house , climbed down from the seat and grabbed his rifle . He took off his hat and wiped at his brow with the back of his gloved hand . He looked around the yard and called out to Mark , who didn 't answer , but Lucas thought he saw him through the open barn door . The rancher had put in a hard day 's work and was dusty and sweaty . He took his hat and swiped at his dirty shirt and trousers . ' Might just need a bath tonight , ' thought Lucas to himself . He walked up on the porch and opened the front door to prop his rifle into its holder . Then he turned around and pulled a cigar from his shirt pocket , lit it , and puffed a few times . He thought on Micah 's words and decided to go out to the barn and make another attempt to get his son to open up to him . For the first time in a long time , Mark was engrossed in his work . He had finished grooming Blue Boy and thought maybe he would go for that ride . After all , Doc had told him he would know when he was ready . He was finishing placing Blue Boy 's bridle , fastening the throat latch , when the faint smell of a cigar drifted through the barn . Thoughts of Bantry sprang into his mind … the outlaw blowing his stale breath in Mark 's face . Blue Boy picked up a foreleg and struck the ground with his hoof . Mark gripped the horse 's bridle with both hands and froze in fear as he watched the long shadow of a man creep up the wall of the barn . His heart started pounding and he couldn 't breath … he stood there locked in a panic and couldn 't move . It was him ! A cold sweat enveloped Mark , his eyes darted about and he swallowed hard as his mind raced , ' I have to get away ! ' " Mark ! Mark ! " Lucas yelled as he dodged the pitchfork . The boy suddenly realized it was his pa standing before him and dropped the pitchfork to the ground . " Pa … Pa , I 'm sorry … I 'm sorry , " he cried , shaking to his core . " I thought you were … " " Is that what you think ? You think because of the week Bantry had you that … Mark , you misunderstood me ! " ' So , that was it , ' Lucas thought to himself . " You think you 're going to turn into someone like Bantry ? That will never happen , son ! " " You don 't understand , Pa ! ' Mark started to cry as he tried harder to pull his arm away . " You don 't understand … you … you … " Mark jerked his arm from his pa 's grip as Lucas finally let him go . The boy stepped back towards Blue Boy and picked up his hat which had fallen to the ground in the struggle . He stood there , trembling , as he wrung his hat in his hands . " You don 't understand ! " he said through gritted teeth as tears slid down his face . " I can 't be around you … I can 't … " Lucas interrupted his son , pointing a finger at him again , " Mark … Bantry is dead and buried , he can 't control you . You have to let this go , son . It 's eating you up inside ! " Lucas stood there and watched as Mark grabbed Blue Boy 's reins and flung himself onto the horse , and then dashed out of the barn . Lucas ran out into the yard and made a futile attempt to call after his son , " Mark … Mark … you come back here ! " All he could do was watch in astonishment as Mark raced away from the ranch . Standing there , defeated , his eyes followed Mark and the horse until they disappeared over the ridge . He walked slowly up to the house and through the side door . Lucas stepped to the counter and angrily threw his hat on the floor . After priming the pump , he filled the sink with water and stripped his shirt . He leaned over the sink and began splashing cool water over his face . He ran the water over his head and came up shaking . As rivulets ran down his face and chest , he closed his eyes and thought to himself , ' I have to go after him … where would he go ? ' He slammed his hand on the counter ; angry with himself for how he handled his son . He grabbed a towel and began drying his hair as he leaned against the counter . He dried his face and his chest , and as he turned towards the bedroom , he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror . The image stopped him in his tracks and a chill came over him as the reflection glared . Lucas took a step back and put a hand to the stubble on his chin . There before him was the obvious key , " Banty … Bantry ! " The rancher threw down the towel and rushed into the bedroom . He came out with a fresh shirt , grabbed his hat and rifle , and ran out the door . He quickly saddled Razor and galloped off for the lake . That 's where he would find his son . * * * * * As the sun dipped in the sky , the horizon took on an orange and blue glow . The wind was calm and the lake looked like glass … like a looking glass . Lucas walked his horse on the ridge above the lake along a pine tree shaded path . He thought of what he would say to his son when he found him , how he could help them both get through this . Mark sat with his legs drawn up leaning against the trunk of a huge , old oak ; it was his and Pa 's favorite spot when they came to the lake to go fishing . But , now it was Mark 's safe haven and where he had been coming nearly every day since leaving school . Blue Boy stood happily grazing nearby , and he looked up when Lucas and Razor approached . Mark saw his pa coming down the hill towards him , and he turned away but didn 't run . " I thought I 'd find you here , " Lucas called out as he tied Razor 's reins to a low - hanging branch , then walked slowly towards his son . " Go away , Pa . Please … go away , " said Mark in a flat , emotionless voice . " You know … I come here too , whenever I need to think . " " Here ? " questioned Mark . " I didn 't know that … " Tears rolled down Mark 's face and his lip started to quiver . " I see him everywhere . He 's in my dreams every night ! He 's in the barn … he 's in our house ! " Mark stood up and started yelling , " I can 't get away from him … I can 't get away ! " He started to rush off and Lucas caught up to him . " I … I don 't want to be afraid anymore , but … " he said shaking his head . The agonizing words came slowly , " I can 't … I can 't be near you , Pa . I can 't be in … in the same room with you . " Mark turned away with pain in his eyes . " Every time I look at you … I see him ! " Lucas reached out and gently touched Mark 's shoulder , " Tell me . " Mark couldn 't keep it inside any longer ; this thing that was eating him alive . He had to let it out , " He said he 'd kill you … he said when … when you were dead , he 'd be my pa . He said I 'd be just like him . He beat on me , and he … he kicked me … and I … I thought he was going to kill you ! I wanted him dead . " Mark drew his hands into tight fists and jabbed at the air . " I wanted to kill him ! " " But , you didn 't , son … " Mark reeled to face his pa , " If I had pulled that trigger , he would have been dead ! But , I couldn 't … I couldn 't … " Mark was sobbing uncontrollably and spitting as his words rushed at Lucas . And , even though Lucas was afraid for his son , as long as Mark was finally telling him what was truly wrong , he wasn 't going to stop him . " Go on , son … go on … " " I wanted him dead ! I want him dead ! " screamed Mark . " I want him to leave me alone … I want him to go away and just leave me alone ! And , and in … in my dreams … I pick up the gun , I pick it up and I aim it … and I shoot him ! I 'm glad … I 'm glad he 's dead ! He 's finally dead … only … only it 's not him ! " Mark cried out dropping to his knees . " It 's not him ! It 's YOU , Pa … I KILLED YOU ! " shouted Mark as he collapsed on the ground sobbing . Lucas knelt next to Mark and pulled his son to him , " Mark … I 'm sorry … I am sorry you have been carrying this burden . It 's my fault … killers coming after me … because I 'm the ' Rifleman ' . Murderers coming after you … because they know I would die for you ! You 've had to watch me in ' kill or be killed ' situations too many times . You 've seen the anger and bitterness I 've carried in my heart , seeking revenge because someone had hurt you . Then God showed me the way , son … he showed me the right path . But … I should have been teaching you , Mark … it 's my fault , not yours ! You haven 't killed me , son … I 'm right here . I 'm not going anywhere . And … and , you could never be a cold - blooded murderer , no matter what you have to go through . You have too much goodness inside you , you have too much of your mother in you to ever be like Bantry ! " Mark continued crying as Lucas wrapped his arm around him desperate to find some way to get through to him . He hugged his son tighter as he spoke , " Mark … listen … listen to me , son . Do you remember Mr . Goss , Abel Goss , the photographer ? When he came to town … he was a bitter man who wanted revenge against the men who treated him so cruelly in the war . Do you remember ? " Mark nodded yes , he was listening . " When everyone else thought Abel had killed that man , you believed in him . You believed that Abel was too good of a man to ever take another life . And , why is that ? Because , you knew he was a good man who knew right from wrong … he had a conscience . That 's the difference between someone like Bantry and someone like Abel . Bantry lived in pain and misery all his life . He was in pain because he couldn 't forgive . And , because of that … he lost his way . " " Son , resentment and bitterness will cause a slow death … a slow death to one 's soul . You have to let go … you have to let it go and forgive . Forgive those who have wronged you … and forgive yourself . It 's the only way to be free . " " But , Pa … I don 't … " " Mark … I think you were giving up . You were giving up because you didn 't know what to do . You were seeing Bantry in me because you hadn 't let go of the bitterness . You need to have faith , Mark . You need to have faith in yourself , and you need to have faith in God . I 'm not going to give up on you , son … not ever . Don 't you give up either ! Mark , believe me when I say , I love you and so does God . " Mark sat up as the call of a whippoorwill beckoned again . " I heard that bird the other night when I asked God to help me . I didn 't think He heard me . " " Sometimes , God doesn 't answer right away , Mark . " Mark looked into his pa 's eyes , and then he wrapped his arms around Lucas and gave him a big hug . They sat there together for a while and looked out over the water . Mark was exhausted , but he felt calm … and he felt lighter . He sighed , " The lake looks so peaceful … wish I had my fishing pole . " Lucas chuckled , " Me , too , son … me , too . Ready to go ? " Mark nodded , yes , as he stood up , reached out a hand and helped pull his father up . The two walked side by side as they gathered their horses . The tree frogs wailed and a whippoorwill called its ' goodbye ' as it sailed above their heads . The shadows had faded all around as the pale glow of the setting sun reflected on the crystal lake . They mounted up and gave one last look , and then Mark said , " Let 's go home , Pa . " * * * * * In the few weeks since their encounter at the lake , Lucas had seen a great improvement in his son . Mark began to talk to his father and tell him whenever he was feeling anxious or worried . The bad dreams were subsiding and his appetite returned so much so that Lucas had trouble keeping enough food in the house . Doc released Mark from all restrictions and he was finally able to return to school . This day , as Lucas placed supper on the table , Mark came through the door , " Finished all my chores , Pa . " Mark walked across the room , placed his hat on the rack , rolled up his sleeves and washed at the sink . " I got an ' A ' on my geography test , today . Mr . Griswold says I should be all caught up by next week . " " Stew ? ! " Mark echoed as he plopped into his seat and rolled his eyes . " Yes , stew . Only problem is … we 're all out of pepper , " Lucas said impishly as he placed the empty pepper tin on the table in front of his son . Quote : Mark flew at his father , stunning Lucas , as he shouted , " If you 're so hungry , why don 't you fix it yourself ? ! " Everyone in the office heard my gasp as I shot my hand to my mouth ! ! Boy , but Lucas had a lot more self - discipline than I would have had ! I was just waiting for the slap ! My heart jumped into my throat at that part ! ! ! That whole scene was heart - wrenching to the max - probably the most heart - wrenching part of the whole entire episode ! ! ! Posted : Mon Apr 05 , 2010 2 : 18 pm Post subject : Thank you so much , Michelle . . . I am humbled . And , I love that you said ' episode ' . And many thanks , Deanne , for your support , suggestions , and editing skills . What would I do without you ! I must admit . . . this was a doozy to write , and the gray matter definitely needs a rest before I get started on the next story . But , as long as the ideas keep coming , I 'll keep writing . _________________ Just rememberin ' back . That was a wondering ending to a great story . I wish it was part of the episodes as well . I think I went through three boxes of tissues on that one . You get some rest . We will be here when you get your next wonderful work of art finished . Posted : Tue Apr 06 , 2010 2 : 05 pm Post subject : What a NICE comment , iLOVEmmc ! I do appreciate it ! ( SOME people are really nice around here ! ) _________________ Just rememberin ' back . Posted : Tue Apr 06 , 2010 2 : 35 pm Post subject : You better watch it ! I got a great story in the works ! I could speed it up or I coudl slow it WAY down . . . Posted : Fri Jun 11 , 2010 4 : 49 pm Post subject : Stargazer . . this is the first free time I 've had to read any stories . . I really loved these , they are SO good . I used to write Rifleman stories when I was watching Rifleman back in the day , and they were always and only about Mark getting hurt in some way and how Lucas was there for him . Just a need I had myself I guess . I never thought I 'd ever get to read someone 's Rifleman stories like this . You really have talent ! The ones I wrote were secret . I used to also write them in school on little paper and teeny little writing so no one would know . Anyway , I think you are an incredible writer and I loved every word ! Wanted you to know how much I appreciated reading these and to tell you what a good writer you are . Thanks for sharing these ! ! Posted : Wed Jun 16 , 2010 12 : 15 am Post subject : This was great ! What torment Mark has gone through . You described it perfectly ! The hurt , the pain , the dreams . Yes this would have made a great episode . There are so many of them that could have been a two - parter , even a three - parter . Thanks for this great story ! _________________ " Keep your ' sites ' on The Rifleman " This was perfect ! I loved it ! " Every time I look at you … I see him ! " " Every time I look at you , I see your mother . " Ya ' know , we have discussed several times about all of these killings not affecting Mark . This gave a new light on this & a nice touch and you covered it really well . _________________ " Keep your ' sites ' on The Rifleman " Posted : Fri Jun 18 , 2010 9 : 33 am Post subject : Rhiannon . . . thank you so much for your kind words . You made me tear up ! And , maybe you should start writing again , but this time share with us ! Margie - thank you ! ! ! I am so glad you enjoyed it . And , I 'll go back and fix that ' paddock ' just for you ! ;)_________________ Just rememberin ' back . Posted : Fri Jun 18 , 2010 9 : 45 am Post subject : Quote : Rhiannon . . . thank you so much for your kind words . You made me tear up ! And , maybe you should start writing again , but this time share with us ! Stargazer , I have been telling Rhiannon this , I 'm glad you think so too ! Come on Rhiannon , what say you ? Pleazzzzzzzzzze ! ? Stargazer : Quote : Margie - thank you ! ! ! I am so glad you enjoyed it . And , I 'll go back and fix that ' paddock ' just for you ! ; ) I guess I 'll have to go & change it on the ranch / website too ! If you can do it , I can do it ! Posted : Fri Jun 18 , 2010 4 : 20 pm Post subject : Stargazer , believe me when I say I 've read these over and over , I can 't stop . I can 't explain how much they touch my heart . Sorry to get heavy about this but I want you to know how powerful your writing is and how true . You are an excellent writer with such a beautiful way of expressing feelings and the relationship between Lucas and Mark . You capture it perfectly . I told Cowgirl that all these stories really got to me because they were so real and such a perfect description of PTSD shutdown , which happened to me when my sister died when I was a very immature 19 . So , the way you were describing what Mark was going through I could relate to EXACTLY , minus the nightmares . I just saw her the last way I saw her ( dead ) every day for the next 20 years instead ( so I guess those were daymares ? ) . Needless to say I was pretty messed up . And still writing those stories : > cause I needed them . I need to read these kind of stories , not write them . I 'm sure you both understand . I 'm not a good writer and I couldn 't put myslf out there anyway . Plus I could never think of any plot , because all they were about were just different ways Mark got hurt or got fevers or something , and Lucas took care of him . That was how I got my mothering . So now just sharing this I feel kind of exposed . Please keep writing more stories like these ( how come you write these kind if you don 't mind me asking ) so I can read them ! I really love them , and thank you for them ! I am so very sorry that you had to experience such a tragic thing as losing a sister . I can 't imagine losing someone so dear at such a young age . I am deeply touched that this story has meant so much to you . I wrote this story as it came to me . It started with the idea after watching ' Deadly Image ' for the umteenth time ; the notion of ' what if Bantry hadn 't died ? ' , and it evolved from there . As Part II took shape , I began to think more about how Mark must have been affected by Lucas ' lifestyle . And , with having an interest in psychology , I decided to write in the PTSD . The father / son bond between Lucas and Mark as portrayed by the actors on RM has always been the draw for me . A strong family is something I adhere to today . I 've always loved writing but didn 't take the time to apply myself through the years . Coming on this board prompted me to start writing again . And , they say . . . write what you know . I guess I love ( know ) these characters and I love the Old West ( and am trying to learn more about it ) . I never know exactly where my stories will take me , it 's an adventure for me as well . _________________ Just rememberin ' back . I thoroughly joyed the stories you have written . Please keep writing ! _________________ Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from the mistakes and failures of our past . Because the errors of our past , are the wisdom and success of our future . Posted : Mon Jun 28 , 2010 1 : 33 am Post subject : Michelle P . wrote : More input ! ! ! More , more input ! ! ! Johnny 5 is still alive ! _________________ Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from the mistakes and failures of our past . Because the errors of our past , are the wisdom and success of our future . Posted : Mon Jun 28 , 2010 2 : 09 am Post subject : Thanks for your thoughts Stargazer . I KNEW you understood about PTSD by the way you wrote about Mark . I don 't usually get into all that but I guess I felt safe talking about it with you . I guess I 'll tell you the rest of it . The one thing I didn 't say but probably should have , was that I had to fix her makeup because the person who did it did an awful job and I didn 't want my family to see her that way ( she went through a windshield ) . Even when my brother saw her later , when she looked better , he took one look and said " close it " . So I 'm the only one who saw her at first . THAT is the picture in my head . I 'm just glad that my brother and my parents didn 't see her that way . The fury that Mark felt toward Bantry was what I felt about the person who didn 't care enough about her to try and make her look good . I looked for that person and I swear if they had been there I would have gone for their throat . I have a lot of rage from abuse anyway , and I could be in prison today because I really would have tried to kill them . So , see , there 's even more connection to your story . I hope you write a lot more , I love your stories ! Well , thanks to Bluewind 's encouragements , I 've finally started writing again . I 've got two stories in the works and hope to have them posted in about a month or so . As long as the creek don 't rise and the dam don 't break . . . _________________ Just rememberin ' back . |
The cancer , I was told , was as rare as teeth on a chicken . When discovered , Patricia was told she would not have more than six months of life left to her . I hadn 't heard from her in 25 years , and we were best friends . It was Mothers Day evening when Doug emailed me . " What ? " I screamed at the email bringing me down from a beautiful day with my family . What was he saying to me , and why did he wait 25 years to contact me ? He knew I loved her , was a sister to her , and missed her deeply . Or , maybe he didn 't . She had " moods " , real highs and very low lows . Maybe she never told him she 'd shut me out . " I know she can hear you . " I replied to his emai . " Hold her close and whisper into her ear that I love her very much . I always have and I always will . " Then I started to cry . Patricia and I grew up together , went to school together and lived with each other off and on for many years prior to our adulthood . She was in my wedding : I was not invited to hers . But for the first twenty years of marriage we got together quite often with our families . I ignored her moods , knowing she always contacted me once they passed . Sometimes that meant a month , sometimes it meant a year . But she always called me . After all , we were best friends . " Don 't worry about it . I 'm sure he 's going to do the same when he sees us . " And that 's how it went . Doug and I held each other and cried , and cried . Their son Brandon was with him , he was just ten years old last time I saw them at our house . He looked like his mother , reddish - blond hair and gentle features . I held him and cried some more . " Of course I do , Auntie Mona . I could never forget you . " We stared at each other 's faces for a long time . " You look a lot like your mom . " Once settled in , Doug showed us around their beautiful home and spectacular yard overlooking the serene lake below . I knew the house would be beautiful , she had great taste in minimalism . Everything was exactly right , in the right place and made for the spot it was in . But I never knew she had such talent in the yard . She had researched and designed the gardens herself . And together they did everything from pulling out hundreds of wild berry plants , to moving rocks , building paths , and planting many trees , shrubs and flowers . I was amazed , and proud of her , but mostly saddened by the fact that she wasn 't the one sharing this with me . I began to cry , again . " She wanted to become one with the earth . She 's buried in her favorite garden clothes : denim overalls and shirt , Crock garden shoes , and a big floppy hat . That was her uniform when working in the yard . They were worn , ragged and she loved them more than any outfit she owned . " There was a slight smile on his face remembering her this way . Patricia was brave , courageous , strong , fearless and full of fight , even though she knew the outcome and end were near . She kept a big binder of everything Doug needed to know about running the house , caring for the cat , doing laundry , when to feed and prune each part of the garden . The binder had absolutely everything he 'd need to know about everything little thing she did . She was well organized , and he was about to be . I asked to see her grave site during one of the many island tours Doug had taken us on . The cemetery was lush and green , rugged and remote and one of the most beautiful spots on the island we 'd seen . All the grave sites were naturally grassy with random flowers and shrubs everywhere . Flowering pots plants dotted hidden graves , worn paths led to the various grave sites , and the sun tried to peek through the morning fog . It was beautiful . Doug had placed a simple brass marker at her site . Dark green ferns were mixed with in the bushes . And all around her were incredible tall trees with long , arm - like branches that seemed to be reaching all the way to Heaven . I couldn 't imagine a more beautiful resting place for the best friend I 'd never known . Moving as slowly and quietly as I could , I rolled out of bed 5 : 30 Saturday morning trying carefully not to wake my shift - worker husband . His easy breathing said I hadn 't interrupted him and hopefully he 'll sleep a little longer . We drove to our beach house late the night before , right after I got off work . He needed to catch up on his sleep and I needed to get to the beach as early as possible to catch the sunrise . I drove quickly and parked , but descended the beach stairs slowly . My arthritic knees ached more and more these days . Walking is painful and difficult as I tried to balance my ageing , overweight body in the soft sand . I can walk only half the beach and back now . So once done I found a dry log to sit on and wait for the sun to rise to entertain me . It 's hard for me to be here without my dog , Georgia . She loved it here as much as I do . The other dogs she used to play with are all here chasing balls their owners had thrown into the ocean . Some of the dogs ran up to me and gave me an early morning sniff . I watched pelicans in formation skim over the water while gulls screamed behind and tried to keep up . One of the diving birds dipped down beneath the dark green wave and emerged with its prize . Two gulls followed in chase hoping he 'd drop his catch . Splashing off in the distance caught my attention . I saw a couple of sea otters diving for their morning meal and putting on quite a show for us spectators . One already had his breakfast and was floating on his back cracking the shell on the rock he 's tucked under his loose tummy skin . The sound of the cracking shell echoed in this cove . They 're so cute and entertaining but the local the fishermen would disagree as they believe the otters are a nuisance . At the far end of the beach there were a few walkers coming toward me . They 're like me I thought to myself , the early morning beach lovers who share the pleasure of watching the birds and otters but are mostly here for the sun rise . To me a perfect day is being able to watch both the morning sunrise and the evening sunset . I began to get cold so I stood to move about and warm myself just as woman approached me . She stopped and stood less than two feet next to me , and faced the ocean , just as I was doing . After taking a slow deep breath and an exhale that I could almost feel , she spoke . She was trim and appeared to be about my age , but I 've never been good at guessing a person 's age . She was not what I think of as pretty , but she spoke with confidence and her smile was quite beautiful in spite of her being so cold . Her graying hair was cut in a short boyish style , but looked rather attractive on her . A weathered face added years to her appearance , but her eyes were so full of life as she tried to take everything in at once . She was dressed as if she just stepped out of a Land 's End catalog wearing baggy jeans , navy blue deck shoes , a cream colored turtle neck sweater and a Forrest green hooded jacket with brown corduroy trim and deep pockets . She kept her gloved hands in her pockets and spoke again . I gave her my limited knowledge of the beach , the sea otters , the gulls , the weather patterns and such . I told her a little about our ocean front house down the street and gave a short family history . My Italian family were fishermen and they had one of the very first canneries on Cannery Row , which is still standing today . She listened intently asking more questions as I went along with my story . Then I took my turn . " I 'm from Oregon , I work in the local Government . " She spoke almost with a whisper , as if her mind was somewhere else . " I attend a conference here every year , at The Asilomar . " We watched the sea otters dive and retrieve shell food from below . She asked more about how the otters feed and we agreed we 'd love to pet one . Then we laughed at what scavengers the gulls are , such a nuisance to the other birds . Then silence again as we watched the rise of the sun from behind us making our shadows longer . The waves closest to shore first lit up first but just at the white capped tips . Then slowly the entire wave came alive with blues and greens . Once the sun reached the beach the sand came alive with millions of sparkles from the crushed shells . Then the whole ocean took on new colors : light greens , medium blues , dark blues , and the glistening white foam . It was all so stunning , so breathtaking , that we stood in awe . I 'll never get used to this site , this could never be dull or boring to me and I exhaled the deep breath I 'd been holding . This is Heaven to me . I turned toward her and gave her my best morning smile , " Well . Happy Birthday to you ! You couldn 't have started your day in a better place . " " I know . " Her smile wide now as she took a step in front of me , put her arms around my shoulders , pulled me close , held me tight , and kissed me . Right on the lips ! Not a short kiss , not a peck between friends , but a long lingering , warm kiss . And although her arms were tight around me , she held me with such tenderness . I tried to take a step backward but I just froze instead . I couldn 't release myself from her grip . I didn 't feel fear , or danger , or anger even , just shock . Trying not to show any emotion , I pulled my face from hers and quickly replied , " Well , again , Happy Birthday . I hope you have a wonderful day and find time to enjoy the beach again real soon . " God , I 'm such a Dork . She just looked at me , her eyes danced and sparkled as she gazed into mine . " Thank you , I will . Perhaps we 'll meet again soon . " And with that she released me , turned and slowly made her way up to beach toward the conference center . What the hell was that all about ? I asked myself as all sorts of thoughts went through my head . Did I forget that I taught my kids to never talk to strangers ? It was 7 : 30 now , but I waited a good half hour before I returned to my car , still stunned by more than just the beauty of the early morning sun rise . Returning to the house I saw my husband in the front window enjoying both the ocean view and his morning coffee . He had his " I love to be here " sleepy - smile on his face and waved when he saw me . I climbed the steps to the front door and walked in . Is beauty really only skin deep or does it go all the way to the soul ? What is beauty and is it really in the eye of the beholder ? If someone beautiful is in the forest and no one is around to see them , are they still beautiful ? Is a forest beautiful if you can 't see it for all the trees ? Why are we so consumed with beauty ? Can I ask any more questions ? ? ? ? ? From the ages of 16 through 17 , I was being treated for a blood disorder . I was given massive doses of prednisone . I don 't know the exact dose , but at one point I was taking 35 little pills a day over the two year span . This drug has many side effects which can vary from person to person and none of them good . In my case I did get some facial puffiness but no hair loss . Instead long black hair grew on my arms , chest and face . I looked like an ape for a few months . " Gee , you 're ugly . " I looked at them and realized they were all staring at my face and not listening to the story . My feelings were so hurt and I was humiliated . The youngest boy , who was two , was petting the long black hair on my arm . The 4 year old quickly piped in : I burst into laughter as this reminded me of my cousins . He seldom sees me with makeup except this day when I was wearing face power that was a bit darker than my normal skin . So I told him I like to protect my face from the sun . That worked because he stopped looking at my face , shrugged it off and dove into the pool to retrieve a floating leaf . At least I didn 't have any long black arm hair for him to pet . Kids are honest and pure . The can see through ugly most of the time , but they are also literal and depending on their age there is no concept of hurting someone 's feelings . They just blurt out what 's on their mind and we , as adults , have to deal with it . Beauty bothers me more than it used to and probably due to me being 60ish and more concerned about my own beauty . Was I ever beautiful and if so , am I still ? And if not when did I lose my beauty ? But if I was never beautiful then it 's a moot point isn 't it ? My parents never told me I was beautiful and only one 14 year old boy told me , but we all know what he wanted . Right now I 'm going through my old , fat , ugly stage . But what cracks me up is that my husband is constantly telling me how beautiful I am . Jokingly , I usually turn around to see who he 's speaking to . Then I question his eye site . But I take a deep breath and think … wow … after 44 years I 'm still beautiful to him , and I 'm thankful for that . So I guess that 's all that counts . I must be that tree in the forest . You can 't see my beauty for all the other trees around . When I was 16 years old and in high school I was only allowed to go out Friday or Saturday night , but not both . However , if I was with my big brother , who was 2 years older , I could pretty much do as he did because my parents felt secure that he 'd watch over me . Knowing I would be safe with him all my dad would say was not to stay out late . Not knowing what late meant since my brother had no curfew , I assumed I could do as he did . But I never pushed it , it was 1965 and democracy did not live inside our house . At the time , I had rare blood disease , which had not yet been diagnosed . I bruised and bled very easily , so my family was used to seeing me in some sort of messy state . Plus being an only girl in a house with all boys , my parents ( mostly my father ) were very protective of me . One Friday night in my junior year , I wanted to tag along with my big brother and one of his friends . It was not uncommon for my friends and his to do things together . But this time he said I couldn 't . However , after much pleading , whining , and puppy dog looks , he gave in . What a softie . We drove around awhile , ending up in Berkeley , the hippie capital of the world for me . At the time we hadn 't really decided if we were hippies yet . ( Dad would never allow any part of that ) so we were " flower children " ( same thing , dad ) . We ended up at the Claremont Hotel , a very old , huge , fancy place , much like the Del Coronado in San Diego . It was built sometime in the 1920 's , I think . The hotel was set back in the Berkeley hills surrounded by a very upscale neighborhood . It was dark when we arrived , and my brother parked on a side street behind the hotel . As we crept through a backside parking lot , he urged both of us to be very , very quiet . At the end of the lot we came to the rear of the building and looked up at the tall Grand Dame . I remember the Claremont being a beautiful sight all lit up . We paused when we saw windows open from a basement area which turned out to be the hotel 's kitchen . One of the kitchen workers was standing outside leaning on an open door , smoking . We waited in the shadows until he went back inside . My brother ignored my question and instead told me to stay right where I was , that he and his friend would be back in a minute . I stood there and watched them for a while until they were almost out of sight . I wore a black turtleneck sweater , a navy and green plaid a - line skirt that came to just above the knee , white socks and black tennis shoes . My hippy hair , still damp from my shower , hung long and straight down my back to my waist . I was a little nervous and began to feel cold . He was kidding himself if he thought I 'd stay put alone in the dark behind this huge property . So when they turned a corner at one edge of the building and were out of sight , I followed . As I turned the corner , I realized I 'd have to crawl on my stomach in order to get past the ground - level kitchen windows to avoid being seen by the dishwashers who were facing these windows . This must have been the way they went so I got down and scooted on my stomach just like a soldier in combat , past the windows , hearing all the kitchen noises , praying I wouldn 't get caught out there alone . Once I passed the windows , I had to turn another corner . When I did , I saw my brother 's friend go into a cylinder - shaped metal tube that ran up the side of the building to the top seventh floor . There was a shorter tube next to it which ran up the other side five stories high . My brother and his friend were inside the tallest one and I could hear them whispering something to each other . When I reached the opening , I heard their muffled voices guiding each other as they climbed . I stepped inside , my face smacking into what appeared to be a metal wall . I couldn 't tell because it was so dark . Using my hands on the sides of the tunnel and my tennis shoes for a good grip on the far side , I started to climb backward , scooting upward while listening to their instructions to each other . I realized I was climbing up in a circle . I paused at each floor level where there was an old barricaded door and a ledge just big enough to sit on . " Did you hear that noise ? " my brother asked his friend . I stopped and stayed quiet although my heart was pounding and I was breathing very hard . This was a difficult task I 've attempted . When they agreed there was no noise , they continued their climb . Then I heard my brother whisper that he 'd reached the seventh floor and his friend said he was right behind . I realized that this was the hotel 's old fire escape , and they were going to slide down , and probably right on top of me ! " Turn around slowly , sit on the ledge at the entrance to the floor you 're on . Lift your feet and take your hands off the sides . But DO NOT let your tennis shoes touch the slide . " He was still whispering but I could tell he was very upset with me . But I didn 't hear his last remark , someone on the fifth floor heard our whispers and were questioning where the voices were coming from . So I let go of the sides . I didn 't lift my feet as instructed , and my tennis shoes stuck to the metal . I tumbled head over foot down five stories in a dark , dirty and extremely rusty cylinder . I rolled helplessly , floor after floor . The whole slide shook from the building , and the rumbling was as horrific inside the hotel as inside the slide . It was the loudest thunder I 'd ever heard . And it felt as though the cylinder would pull away from the building and come crashing down , bringing all three of us with it . Since they were already at the seventh floor entrance to the old slide they rode down , and I could hear the rush of air coming from inside the tube : Whoosh . . Whoosh . . Whoosh . . , and their speed was picking up faster and faster . At the bottom , they flew out like rockets and landed in the gravel just past where I lay , except they landed on their butts , not their faces . Holy Mole ! I 'd just fallen down five stories of the Claremont Hotel 's antique fire escape , and lived ! ! Now my parents were going to kill me . I slowly began to pull myself together but my foot hurt and I couldn 't stand . When I looked at my feet , both shoes were gone . So were my favorite plaid a - line skirt , my black turtle neck , and one sock . I wore only my slip , and the other sock , and I was covered with rust and blood from head to toe . I was a red mess . My brother 's friend gave me his jacket as they looked at me with horror on their faces . But I didn 't come out . I went into the bathroom , stressed , scared , hurt , bleeding , and rusty and looked in horror at myself in the mirror . My nose was bleeding , my cheek was bruised , my hands and knees were scraped and my hair was caked with everything red . I showered quickly , slipped into bed and fell sound asleep in seconds . I got up early the next morning and tried to make myself look presentable . The bruise on my cheek I covered up with makeup . Scratches and bruises were everywhere else on my body , so I wore long sleeves and jeans . I gingerly walked to the table for breakfast , every part of me screaming in pain . At least nothing was broken , just bruised , and amazingly I was alive . Smiling , as was her normal way , Mom asked me if I had fun with my brother since we 'd come in much earlier than she 'd expected . Sometimes I felt as though I were a single parent . My husband worked shift work and rarely had weekends or holidays off . And if he was on swing shift he was gone to work before the kids were home from school and back when they were in bed . We had 2 sons so all activities were up to me to manage . This also meant I had to be in two places and one time , not to mention keeping those eyes open in the back of my head at all times . Our youngest was three when I signed him and his five year old brother to play soccer . He was almost as tall as his big brother and just as husky . So they played on the same team for one season . Although he was as big for his age he was not as physically developed as a five year old . In fact , he was quite clumsy and had trouble looking where he was going . We used to call him the walking disaster as his feet went in one direction while his brain was elsewhere . But this team did well for all the boys and we all had fun watching our little athletes . What I loved the most was the constant mob scene of kicking feet that surrounded the ball . There was dust flying , kids falling and being kicked , chips of grass being tossed and none of them willing to work as a team . No one knew their position or how to pass to each other . I found my first experience in group sports to be cute and funny . If I only knew … The game ended and all the boys came running over to see the beautiful cake . As they gathered around it my three year old , who had played goalie , was the last one over and was yelling to wait for him to see the cake , too . As the boys parted out of his way , he just kept on running , right through one side of the cake and out the other . Everyone just stood there stunned , especially the team mother who screamed as if in pain . He stood there shin deep in chocolate cake and purple frosting , and some of the boys started to cry and other parents moaned . Except one whose laughter I knew all too well , it was my five year old who boldly said : " Boy , whose bright idea was it to put the cake on the lawn ? " I did my best to help salvage what was left of the cake . Besides , in our house we had a " Five Minute " rule : if food was on the floor under 5 minutes , they could eat it . Besides , they were boys , it was cake , and they all ate what they could . The following year , he was moved up to the A team who were undefeated . Some of the boys and their parents were cocky about it . My son , who was six at the time , held the goalie position but he seldom had anything to do . Most of the games were played at the opponent 's goal net , seldom ours . All these six and seven year olds were big for their ages and knew how to work as a team . This one hot summer day our team was scoring undefeated as usual , but my son son was bored stiff . I watched him as he looked up at the net and I could hear the wheels in that tiny brain moving . He was wondering how high up he could climb . And , so he began his ascent . He climbed up the net to the top where the bar was , but then he got tangled and couldn 't get down . No one was watching him except me . You 're supposed to watch your kid play and that 's just what I was doing . He looked like a bug in a spider 's web trying to escape before the spider returned to feast . " Where 's the goalie ? " I heard someone cry out . And , there he was , tangled at the top of the net , hanging upside down , by his foot , still trying to get untangled . Everyone was screaming at him to get down . The parents were screaming at their boys to get the ball back , the coach was screaming at him to stop fooling around , and in all the confusion and noise , the other team scored their first goal against our team . The first goal all season . And I sat there and laughed . How cute was that ? Being bored he found something to occupy his time . Better than peeing in the grass at this age like his older brother did while being bored in the baseball outfield , I thought . Well , it was a long time before his team got over it , especially the parents , but it was not World Cup Soccer , it was little boys playing a game . The adults needed to calm down and enjoy their children . Plus , this was not nearly half as bad as when tried baseball the following year . I knew nothing about being the catcher but as the older one went over to the bench I helped him get into the gear . There were knee pads to be attached , a chest pad to be adjusted , and then fit for him , a special face mask that went under the catcher 's mask , and then there was the rounded mitt that almost was too heavy for him to lift his arm . Everything was way too big for him , but I thought it nice that they were so concerned about the little boys ' faces to give them two masks to wear . So , under his helmet I put the little , green , oval - shaped mask that had breathing holes in it to cover his mouth and nose , then helped him into the larger mask that pulled down over his face . " What are you doing ? " he glared at me with disdain and shoved the kid over to his position . Being blond , when he turned red it was more like fire engine red that glowed through the face mask and shined like a beacon . I went over to the bench and sat by my older son . I had put a crotch protector cup on my son 's face because I thought it was extra protection for little faces . How was I to know that extra protection was for a different place ? My brothers were and I were on the track team , no gear needed . |
His face was hard and cold like brick walls in the winter time . I could tell he wanted to cry , but his soul had his tears frozen in their ducts . A thick , luminous ray of moonlight shot through the window and highlighted the faint scar that ran from the bottom of his eye to the corner of his lips . It protruded just above his skin like a caterpillar crawling along a tree branch . My mind drifted away as it transfigured my younger face onto his body . He had too much of his life ahead of him . We sat on the couch ; our knees brushed against each other like a paintbrush on a canvas . His passionate gaze burned like a fiery meteor leaving a dragon tail across the night sky on its way to annihilate the earth . His jawbones gyrated inside of his mouth like factory gears , displaying traits of the machine I trained him to be . His fingers interlocked patiently , forming a semi - circle on his lap . " You know you can leave , " I said , piercing through the silence between us . My suggestion seemed to inflame him even more . " I 'm not going anywhere . " I made a trap door beneath the couch in the living room . It led through a burrowed tunnel , three miles east of my home amid tall , forest trees . It would spit him out on the edge of Lake Tiache ' where he could hop into a speedboat and get away undetected as if he was never with me . But he was stubborn . He was my best soldier , and he said that he would go to the grave with me if it were necessary . It was the type of loyalty that Jesus didn 't see in the hours before his arrest . I exhaled . The wind left my lungs with a thick sense of anticipation just as tiny flickers of light blinked outside like a swarm of fireflies . Their black foot helicopter was silent , but I still knew it was just miles away . Leaves crunched as men scurried around the sides of my house . I had trained myself for times like this . I could hear the slightest shift in the movement outside if I sat in complete silence , and right now , I was clothed in it . They were trained better than that , I thought to myself . It had to be their nervousness . There wasn 't a man coming for me that I hadn 't taught how to kill . Flawlessly . I fixed my eyes on the young man beside me ; his nostrils flared like tiny umbrellas . His eyes widened like dinner plates as he tilted his brow forward as if it was weighted down . His interlocked hands slowly released and formed boulder - like fists at the end of his arms . His veins puffed up in his forearms as if he had just taken a shot of heroin . Adrenaline worked the same . " Everything is going to be fine , " I said as we waited in silence . " Just don 't breathe the air . " He didn 't respond . Out of all my soldiers , he was the one who stayed glued to me like a disciple . It wasn 't long that I realized he had slid me into the place that his father had never touched . There was a bond between us , and although we never spoke the words , love flowed through us like rivers of forgiveness . " I will kill them all , " he said in a voice that would have shaken the smile from a stone - faced statue . His passion soaked words marched around the house like Goliaths in full armor . I could 've run . All of this could 've been avoided , but I was tired of running just to escape , only to have to run again . I was tired of fighting , using my self - control to strike the men I trained , but not kill them . If I wanted to , I could have ended their lives . Every one of them that came for me . Specs of dust fluttered along the moon 's glow , leading to a picture of my wife . Her buoyant smile is what kept me afloat during the times I was too tired to pick myself up off the ground . I couldn 't wait to hold her again , but I knew there was too much work left undone for me to meet her . My five - year - old son sat beside her . His snaggle - toothed smile was the most beautiful blemish I 'd ever seen . Fifteen years had passed since the accident , and the surgical scar on my chest was the painful reminder of the day I found out they were both gone . The lone picture in the front room was all I had left of them . The memories locked inside of my mind kept me from needing tangible reminders of how much they meant to me . The footsteps outside moved in closer . Shadows scurried past the windows like demons as the propellers sliced through the wind like a hot knife through butter . I heard it all . Every last thing . The sounds on the roof proved that these troops lacked discipline . Their anxiety got the best of them . The meekness of my heart allowed me to remove all the traps and triggers that would have ripped the first string of men into pieces . His dark skin shone from his body like an oil - polluted African river full of blood diamonds . I wanted to temper his aggression , but there was no need . He knew that he could attack , but he could not kill . Not them . Not his brothers . " Are you ready ? " I asked while the men outside took their positions . " They are coming in . " Leave a reply Bumpy and Hush had been close friends since High School . They were sort of outcasts to the rest of the school because of their appearance , so they gradually transitioned into loners . Bumpy got his name because of the inexorable amount of acne that was plastered on both of his cheeks and his forehead . It was a bizarre sight to look at , and you were bound to lose your appetite if he sat near you at the lunch table . Hush was a step up from him appearance wise , though . He had Alopecia Areata , and because of that , he wasn 't able to grow any facial hair . The spot where his eyebrows were meant to be were completely bald , and he didn 't have an ounce of hair above his lip like most of the other boys in our grade . But that wasn 't it ; the reason everybody called him , " Hush , " was because he wasn 't able to bring his voice above a whisper . Nobody why he spoke with such a low volume and as far as we could tell , it wasn 't due to another medical condition . It was just that he hated talking too loud . I watched them from a distance , and they always kept to themselves and accepted the fact that they were outcasts . In my opinion , between the two of them , Bumpy had the hardest time with it . He was much more of an extrovert than his counterpart , but Hush ? He had no complaints about it at all . It fit his demeanor entirely . Quiet . Sneaky . Always thinking . I would 've given a week 's worth of lunch food to know what was going through his mind , but by the way he looked at everyone , it didn 't seem like it was anything that could 've been spoken out loud . His glare , the way his cheekbones gyrated whenever somebody disrespected him . He just had an eerie vibe about him ; a reclusive personality mixed with a short temper and that was never a good combination . It was blatantly clear that he was headed for a life of crime . Sometimes , that life has a way of choosing you , no matter what your will is . I glanced down at the murder scene ; one man was beaten senseless to the point that he was hardly recognizable . His face was smashed in and bloodied ; cheekbones were broken as well as every other bone that would have kept his countenance in place . His fingers were chopped off , making it much more challenging to identify the victim . This was all at the hands of Hush , and I knew it , even though there was no evidence pointing to him , I knew his calling card . Once he wanted to get rid of you , his aim was to get rid of you and make it seem as if you never existed . That way , whenever we were fortunate enough to find a body , there was nearly no way to identify who he was for sure . He even went as far as knocking each and every last one of his victim 's teeth out to keep us from checking it against dental records . I took a puff of my cigarette and blew the smoke into the night air . It fluttered around us like a cloud before it disappeared , " Yeah . No doubt about it . " " Sheesh . This is the third body we have found like this in the past two weeks . I 'll tell you what , we better find something here , or else , heads in the department will start rolling . After that , it will be better if one of us are one of these dead men that are popping up around the city . " He tapped me on my shoulder and then stood up to walk back towards the other police officers . I blew another cloud of smoke into the air as I looked up to the sky . Damnit , Hush - I said to myself - what are you up to now ? " Yeah man , I don 't know what it is . Sometimes , I sit and think she looks just like my sister . I mean , she does a little bit , but what I 'm sayin ' is she looks like she was - " " Nah , she hasn 't . I mean , it 's only been a few years , and I don 't expect her to anytime soon . As a matter of fact , I don 't expect her to at all . She knows I love her , and I know she loves me , so that is all that matters . For real . " He dipped his chip into the bowl of melted cheese , sprinkled with beef and jalapeños . The brothers usually got together to watch the games on Sunday afternoons after church except for this time ; his Step - Daughter wanted to come to his apartment . He and his wife split up not too long ago , and they wanted to work things out , but as of right now , there was too much to work out under the same roof . Suddenly , she walked into the front room as the two men looked up . He finished chewing his chip and spoke to her . She smiled and turned around , her long ponytail swinging back and forth with each step her 9 - year - old body took away from them . Her step - father continued to look in her direction even after she disappeared down the hall and closed the door to her room . " Are you alright ? " his brother asked curiously , but there was no response . There were only silent tears rolling down his blank , stony face . I hope you all have been enjoying the short stories that I have been posting . I started out doing them once a week , but as my Ghostwriting career took off , I began to find it more difficult to continue writing weekly stories in addition to the other contracts that I picked up . However , another project that has taken up a lot of my time is my upcoming novel , " Strange Fruit in the Concrete Jungle . " Oh , you didn 't know that I was writing a novel ? Well , let me fill you in on the plot ! Ehhis is young man who moves from a small , racist town in Idlewild , Texas to Harlem , NY in 1921 . He has aspirations of presenting an unheard of form of art to the citizens of Harlem , Spoken - Word . But his dreams of becoming an entertainer are quickly interrupted when he witnesses a murder within the first few months of his move to Harlem . Against the advice of one of his good friends , he speaks to the police and is prepared to testify in court . If he testifies against the killer , it will expose a string of corrupt cops and city officials and their ties to a viscous , black crime mob terrorizing Harlem . The powers that be are not prepared to let that happen so they seek to handle it the best way they can ; eliminate Ehhis . Not knowing who to trust and where to go , Ehhis becomes a target of one of the most dangerous crime families in Harlem as he stubbornly continues pursuing his dreams as an entertainer . In a narrative that captures the essence of 1920 's Harlem with breathtaking descriptions and painstaking imagery of the Renaissance , it will make you feel as if you are right there with the characters . Journey with Ehhis through his triumphs and downfalls in this epic story of ambition and determination . It will leave you speechless and inspire you to always keep going , no matter what is ahead of you . There are a couple of snippets of the book inside of this blog and if you want to check them out , just look for the book the cover when you scroll through my blog posts . I have enjoyed every moment of this process , from starting out in three notebooks ( Yes , I wrote the ENTIRE first draft of the novel by hand and it is over 111k words ) , transferring it to the computer , creating in - depth characters and studying the time period so I would be sure to have everything close to how it really was in the 1920 's . I have even written a movie script to go along with the novel ! I have put a lot of time and effort into this project and I am thoroughly excited about its release ! I am currently on my third edit of the book and it is going well , but I am reaching the point that I realize I cannot do it all on my own . Check out the page and see what is going on with this ground - breaking novel that captures the essence of the renaissance ! Thank you in advance ! Peace . She let out a scream that would 've shaken the graves of those who passed away . It was her first child , and she didn 't know what to expect . When the doctor came in with a needle the size of her finger , she waved it off , " You have to stick that in my back ? No , I 'll pass . " The epidural would 've saved her from a multitude of pain , but she wasn 't privy to it . As a matter of fact , she rarely saw the doctor throughout the pregnancy so it was a tossup as to whether or not the child would be born without any difficulties . Her mother passed away when she was five , and it left her father to raise her on his own . At the time , he was twenty - three , and he was so caught up in his own life that he didn 't make time for her . Luckily , she had a grandmother who was older but still willing to take custody of Monica to keep her from going into the foster care system . She had seen first - hand the effects that could have on a child , so she did what she had to do . Her name was Janice Carter , and she was her father 's mother , but Monica only knew her as Mama . In the hospital room , the nurse stood beside her and held her hand as she used a towel to wipe the sweat from her forehead . " You 're doing great , Monica . Just keep going . " She coached her from the side and as a two - time mother herself , she knew the pain the Monica was going through and did her best to ease it all . Trey , the child 's father , stormed out in an unbelievable rage the day he found out Monica was pregnant . The scene wasn 't how she expected it to go at all . She walked to the couch as he sat , watching Sunday football with a burger in his hand that she just prepared for him . They were both nineteen years old , and Janice passed away two years before , but she left her the house that she paid for before she died . Janice was living in a three bedroom house with no mortgage , and the only thing she had to pay for was the monthly bills , something she could manage as a cashier in a department store . " Do you like the burger ? " Trey didn 't turn to look at her when he answered , " Yeah , it 's straight . " The announcer on the television spoke up as the play just began . Monica reached into her pocket and pulled out two pictures to place them on the table . After a few moments , she realized that Trey wasn 't going to look at them from there , so she picked them up and set them on his lap . He stopped in mid - chew and glanced down at them , speaking will a full mouth . His voice was muffled , " What is this ? " She was nervous because she didn 't know how he would take it but she knew the truth had to come out eventually , " These are sonograms . We 're um ; we 're gonna have a baby . " She had been dating Trey for almost a year and even though it was off - and - on , it was still the most consistent relationship either of them had . Monica smiled at him as she waited for a response and suddenly , she got it . Trey smacked the small photos off his lap as they fluttered to the ground , " Pregnant ? ! Nah , I … I don 't know why you 're tellin ' me that . You know I pull out every time we don 't use a condom . " She exhaled , hoping that it didn 't go this way , but she knew it was a slim chance that it wouldn 't . She sat back on the couch as seclusion saturated her facial expression . He slammed the plate down on the table , nearly shattering it as the top bun of his burger flew onto the floor . " Nah , nah , I know that ain 't mine . You 've been cheatin on me , Monica , huh ? You 've been messin ' around with somebody else , and since they got you pregnant , you 're tryin to pass it off as mine ? " " Whatever , Monica ! You can tell me anything you want to ! Oh , I guess the dude I saw you at the grocery store with ain 't nobody , huh ? Go and tell him that you 're pregnant ! " " Whatever ! Look , I ain 't stayin ' here for this ! I ' ma let you go and find the real father of that baby and tell him the news because it ain 't mine ! " He looked down at the sonograms that laid spread out on the floor and when he reached down to grab one , he ripped it into pieces and flung them into the air like confetti . " And don 't call me until you get all this situated ! I 'm done ! For real ! " He stormed out of the house and slammed the door behind him , the vibration knocked pictures off the wall as Monica buried her head into the couch and cried out loud . It was an acute pain that she hadn 't felt before , the precise stabbing of small needles into her heart as she was on the verge of hyperventilating . Suddenly , she felt a cool and calm spirit around her . " It 's gonna be alright , Monica , " the voice said as she looked up with teary , reddened eyes . She calmed her breathing and sat up as she looked to the floor to grab the two pictures that were still intact . On the back of them , she wrote , " Monica and Trey 's baby , " and placed them on her table . The truth was the truth , no matter what Trey said . Inside the hospital , she pushed again but this time , the baby was fully out as the doctor suctioned the fluids out of his mouth and patted him on the back until his first cries came out . " There we are , theeere we are little boy , you 're fine , you 're fine , " the doctor said as he passed him to the nurses to they could quickly clean him up . Monica was out of breath and suddenly , the pain she had seconds ago seemed to all be worth it once she realized her baby boy had come out unharmed . " Can I … can I see him ? " she asked , still trying to recollect herself . " Of course ! They are just cleaning him and then they will bring him right to you . " They walked over with her baby boy and placed him in her arms as tears rolled down her face . The nurse that was by her side continued to coach her , " Just hold him close to your skin for a while so his body temperature can regulate . Yes , that 's it , right by your bosom . " Monica held him close and kissed him on the cheek as he relaxed , his eyes moving around aimlessly like he knew he was no longer in the comfort of the womb . " Do you have a name for him ? " the nurse asked as she admired them . " Yes . His name is Allen . Allen Travelle Taylor . " From that day , she always held him close to her and when Trey came to visit his son in the hospital , Monica rolled her eyes at him . He hadn 't contacted her at all for the entire length of the pregnancy , but Monica didn 't want her son to grow up without her father around , so for his sake , she told Trey what hospital she was in . When he came in , his hair had grown out and was on the verge of locking up . His pants sagged just below his waist , and he had all types of jewelry hanging from his neck and around his wrists . During the last nine months , Monica had gotten word that Trey started selling drugs to make extra money . He walked over to look at his baby boy , but honestly , he wasn 't interested in him , and he still hadn 't accepted the fact that he belonged to him . He stuck his finger inside the incubator and smiled at Allen , but quickly left his side and stood by Monica . He reached out for her hand , but she snatched it away , " What do you want , Trey ? I thought you were here to see the baby . " He smiled arrogantly , " Yeah , I did come for that , but I came for you , too . I miss you . I miss what we had . " She sucked her teeth , " Trey , get out of here with that , for real . You dissed me nine months ago and after all the morning sicknesses , the cravings , and everything else I had to go through BY MYSELF , you wanna come back around ? Nah , I 'm not goin ' there with you . There is your son . He is the only reason we will ever need to communicate with each other . " He reached out for her hand , His nostrils flared , the same look he had when she told him that she was pregnant and with that , he left the room without once looking at his son . Monica refused to let tears fall from her eyes over him as Allen moved around in his incubator . He deserved more than what Trey was going to give him , and Monica knew it but for now , she was only focused on raising her son to the best of her ability . The two of them yelled back and forth from the kitchen to the front room until Monica sighed and got up , " If I come in there and grab that ketchup , I promise I am going to pop you upside your head ! " She walked in as Allen stood with the ketchup in his hand and a broad grin on his face . He burst out laughing as soon as he saw her . Monica shot him a look of disgust before she charged at him . She was thirty - four years old , but she still looked as though she was in her mid - twenties and people had a hard time believing that she was the mother of a 15 - year - old boy . She still lived in her grandmother 's house , but now , she worked as a supervisor at a call center and made well over enough money to keep her and her son happy . Allen was a good kid for the most part , but she saw a lot of Trey in him . His temper , mainly , was what she worried about the most . He was always getting into fights at school and with children around the neighborhood . His father came close to laying hands on her when she was younger , but he never crossed the line . With Allen though , it didn 't seem that he had that kind of restraint when it came to other people . The two of them had an air - tight relationship and even though he didn 't have a father figure in his life , he still had a good grasp on what it was like to be a man . His teacher , Mr . Weston , did much to structure him as much as he could , and he recognized Allen as a bright student during the parent teacher conferences . " Allen is really a smart kid , Monica . He just gets mixed up with the wrong crowd a lot of times , you know ? Bad company corrupts good morals , so all of the good things you are teaching him at home sort of gets washed away when he comes around these group of kids . " That was what he said each time Allen had gotten into trouble at school , and he was on the verge of being kicked out of Madison High School if he kept up his behavior . Trey had only seen Allen twice in his lifetime , once at the hospital and then once again when Allen was five . Allen said that he had no memory of his father and even though Monica tried her best not to talk bad about Trey in front of his son , Allen still drew his own conclusion . He was a mirrored image of his father , same thick eyebrows and dark brown eyes . His hair kinked up the same way Trey 's did when he started growing it out , and Monica would shake her head at how much the two of them resembled . At times , it scared her because she felt that somehow , she had gone back in time and started life as a teenager all over again . Those thoughts only lasted for split seconds , though , and she hated when it happened . Trey continued to be a dope dealer since the day he left the hospital and for a while , he was making a lot of money . Monica would hear how he was driving new cars almost every other week and flashing pockets full of twenty dollar bills and tossing them up at the strip clubs like they were dollar bills . Ten years after Allen was born , Trey was robbed by a group of other men and the ended up shooting him in the legs . The doctors thought he would be paralyzed , but amazingly , he regained his ability to walk after extensive rehab sessions . He had a limp , but it was better than strolling along in a wheelchair . Back at the house , Allen was preparing to leave . " Aight Mama , I ' ma be back later on . " He grabbed his bag and headed to the door , When he got far enough away from the house , he looked inside of his bag to make sure he had everything . A black Glock 9 and a few bags of weed was what he needed for the trip he and Ricky were about to make . Ironically , he followed in the same footsteps of his father except he started at a much younger age . He was influenced by the wrong crowd , and when the music videos showed him what it was to be a man , he figured he needed to step into his place as well . He made it over to Ricky 's house , " What up , fam ? " They shook hands as Ricky spoke , They headed to the West side of town to make a drop . Allen knew that it would be dangerous because they were going on unknown territory but he wasn 't scared at all . In fact , Ricky was the one who was calm , and it was just because Allen was there . As they rode to the West Side , Allen glanced at his phone . " My Moms is calling , man . She is about to snap once she finds out where I 'm at . She probably called your mom first . " Ricky drove his car with one hand on the steering wheel , " Yeah . Don 't answer that , though . Just wait until we get back . " Allen slid his phone back in his pocket , and twenty minutes later , they arrived on the West Side of town . Both of them were unfamiliar with the area , but they knew where they needed to go . Little did Allen know , Trey lived on the same side of town , but Allen wouldn 't be able to pick him out of a lineup , let alone identify his relation to him . " Aight , you ready ? The house is right there , " Ricky said as they were parked on the street . " Aight , Let 's go . " They both got out of the car and headed towards the house as Trey walked down the sidewalk with a limp . He was still on edge since the time he had gotten shot and even though it was almost ten years ago , he never forgot the moment it happened . A group of young boys , close to the ages of Ricky and Allen , were the reason he had to walk with a limp . As they approached him , Allen put his hand near his waist . In unfamiliar territory , he always wanted to be ready to pull out if it came down to it . Trey tensed up as they inched towards each other 's path , " Whassup , little nigga ? " he said as he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to block their path , " Yall don 't belong over here . I can tell . What 's up ? " Allen glared at him , but before he responded , he realized that something was off about him . It was like he was looking in a mirror and watching an older version of himself right in front of him . Ricky spoke up , " We ain 't here to see you , so watch out . " Trey didn 't budge , and when Ricky shoved him back , Allen snapped out of his trance and pulled his gun out , " Look , we ain 't come here for all that . We just trying to see Snap , aight ? " In Trey 's mind , flashbacks of the fateful night he was shot twice by the group of boys began to replay in his mind . He looked down the dark barrel of the gun , oblivious to any detail of Allen that might have told him that they were related . It was all erased , and the only thing he could focus on was avoiding being gunned down again by a group of teens . As Allen pointed the gun at Trey , he froze again . He saw his own eyebrows , lips , nose and eyes on the face of this man in front of him . His eyebrows wrinkled up but to Trey , he sensed hesitation . He is not going to shoot me , he said in his mind . He had been living a street life for a while , and he knew when somebody was going to shoot and when they were bluffing . Allen wasn 't bluffing by any means , but seeing his features on another man bugged him out completely . Slowly , he began to wonder if the man standing in front of him was his father . Before he could react to his thoughts , Trey pulled the pistol from his waist and as Allen was on the verge of yelling for him to stop . Pow ! Pow ! Pow ! Trey emptied his clip into Allen as Ricky ran from the scene . Blood spilled from his body as he laid on the sidewalk , gasping for air . Trey stood over him and shook his head , " Not this time , little nigga . Not this time . " As Ricky sped off , Trey turned around and limped away from the scene of the murder . Allen laid there with his eyes wide open ; chest covered in blood as his gasps for air slowly ended . If you are not being a father to your son , you are killing your son . I looked in the rearview mirror to get a better look at my son . His light brown eyes illuminated as the sun beamed down onto his mahogany complexion . He sat in his car seat , his feet dangling halfway to the floor . It was almost time for him to sit on the regular seat like the big kids but he still had a few more months to go , and I didn 't want to rush it . If I could have it my way , he would stay the same age for as long as I could keep him there like Peter Pan . " It takes more than seeing over the steering wheel to know how to drive . You 'll get there , trust me . Just enjoy the ride for now . " He sighed and glanced out the window as I smiled to myself . He was a splitting image of me when I was his age . My mother would sit down and show pictures of me in my younger days , and if I didn 't know any better , I would 've sworn that the boy in the picture was the same kid in the car seat behind me . Just as I was about to speak to him again , the phone buzzed in my lap . I immediately became disgruntled when I saw the name flash across the face of my screen . My ex - wife barely gave me any breathing room whenever I had my son . My visitation rights were cut down because of my job . Being a police officer took up the majority of my time , and it was mainly the reason why she felt she needed a divorce . Her insecurities built up over time and for the longest , she just felt like there was another woman . Somebody , I was cheating on her with and she was partially right . It wasn 't a physical act that was brewing but more of an emotional one . She checked out of the marriage , and it forced me to fill the voids in other ways . In my mind , physically cheating was worse than doing so emotionally , so I chose the lesser of two evils . In retrospect , emotional adultery was worse , and once those doors opened , there was no way to close them . I read her text when I came to a stop light . " Look . This is my time with my boy , aight ? You can interrogate him later on about the other bs , but right now , I am busy . " The light turned green as I set the phone in my lap and pulled off . I looked back at A . J . as he picked up one of his toy cars and drove it across his lap . In his other hand , he made another car crash into it . " Boom ! " he said as he banged the cars into each other repeatedly . Just then , the phone buzzed in my lap again . I tried to do things to get my mind off the fact that Lauren seemingly harassed me anytime I had A . J . with me . She had the ability to send me from one to one - hundred in record time at any given moment . I looked straight ahead , doing everything in my power not to look at her text but I couldn 't resist . If it was something disrespectful , I had to fire back . I couldn 't let it sit and wait until later because then ; she would feel like she won whatever childish dispute was going on between us . The road was clear ahead of me , so I reached down and grabbed the phone as my son kept replaying the same accident over and over . " Interrogate him ? You should be the one interrogated for posing as a man ! You 're not a man ! A . J . will be ashamed once he knows who his father really is ! " She sent a cold chill down my spine . She knew what buttons to press to piss me off . My son kept playing with his cars in the back seat , yelling out " Boom ! " every few seconds as I drove . I looked up to make sure the road was clear and with that , I put one thumb on the screen and began firing off my response . " Boom ! Boom ! " Just after I pressed send , I looked up , but it was too late . An SUV was coming at us full speed on the same side that my son was seated . My mouth dropped open , and before I could say a word , the truck smacked into the side of our car and flipped us over like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind . When we came to a stop , our car was flipped over on the hood as blood trickled down from my forehead and onto the ceiling which was now the floor . I called out to him in a faint voice , struggling to hold onto my consciousness . I slowly turned my head back to him as he was suspended in the air and the only thing that was keeping him from hitting the bottom were the straps of his car seat . His side of the car was caved in as blood dripped from his head . The window beside him had completely shattered , and as I reached back to him , I finally lost consciousness . I looked up at her as she stood at my table with a pen and a pad of paper in her hand . She was young and attractive . She seemed like she was either a single parent reaching to make ends meet or a College student doing what she had to so that she could keep some money in her pocket . Her hair was tied up in a ponytail , and there were a few loose strands that fell over her forehead . She pushed them to the side as she smiled , waiting for me to order . She turned and walked away . She could have been just trying to let me down easily because she didn 't have to add to her reason but at this point in my life , I didn 't care . The rejection wasn 't something I was afraid of . There was either going to be a yes or a no and either way ; I would live with it . My son , though ? He wouldn 't have that chance and even though the accident happened five years ago , my mind still replayed it like it was something that just occurred . I leaned back as the patrons continued to flood into the restaurant . It was more of a bar than anything else , but there was an area where you could sit and dine and across the room , there were a wet bar and a dancefloor for those who wanted to cut a rug . The atmosphere around me was a bit cloudy , but I didn 't mind . It added to the peculiarity of my personality . Unclear . Foggy . Ambiguous . Enigmatic . I reveled when people used those words to describe me . It meant that I came off to them exactly how I wanted to . After my son 's death , I developed tunnel vision . The psychiatrists I was referred to stated that the path I was headed down was unhealthy . " Mr . Eddison , you are powering straight towards a profound and dark depression . You cannot keep shutting people out and holding onto the bitterness that lives inside of you . It is going to make you rotten from the inside out and cut your life in half . " I sat up on the awkward couch that I was forced to lie on , " The more I let people in , the more bitter I become and by the way things are going in this world , it would be better to be dead than deal with the nuances of this life . I 'm fine where I am and quite frankly , Dr . Slowerwizt - " he interrupted me , " Whatever . You are wasting your time with me . You could be using this slot to help someone who wants your help than to be with me and continue to allow me to patronize you and your profession . I have been sending barbs at you all day , but I guess you can 't catch on to my sarcasm . Common sense is not something they teach you . You have to be born with it . " The sessions never went well , and finally , my lieutenant let me off the hook so I could do my job . I went from a regular patrol officer to a detective in eight years on the force . I loved my job , and it was only because I could get lost in it and forget about the things that were happening in my life . My wife made the divorce final just one year after my son 's death . Soon after that , she packed up and moved across the country to California . I blamed her for his death , but it wasn 't her fault . It wasn 't her fault at all ; I just couldn 't find the strength to shoulder the blame on my own . I am a man , but I have my flaws , and that was one of them . I could face anything in life except going to the grave and apologizing to my son for ending his life well before it should have . I sighed and took my hat off just as the pretty waitress brought my food to the table . She smiled and walked away as she switched back and forth . She made her case , but now , I just thought she was working for a bigger tip . Life had made my cynical even though most would say that it was one of the effects of bitterness . To hell with them all . I popped the napkin open and stretched it across my lap and no sooner , he walked in . I put my hat back on to cover my eye sight as I watched him walk to his table . A pretty boy . Tall , chocolate and deep , wavy hair that most men would kill to have . He wore a fitted shirt that showed off his physique as two women draped on each side of him . He was a player and women knew that . They knew it , but when you have looks and money , none of that matters . Most women will put up with your flaws when you have it made like that and the more money you have , the more they will put up with . It was like clockwork . He was the guy , though . He was the one that the agency had their eye on . He had a slew of women at his disposal and periodically , a few would come up missing with him being the last person they were with . None of us could get a hook into him , though . The women that were with him kept their mouths shut at all costs . It was like trying to pry open the mouth of a hungry alligator while his dinner was locked inside . Nothing was coming out . I watched him walk over to his VIP booth that overlooked the first floor of the restaurant . His haughty gaze brushed over the patrons below him as if we were all his peasants and he was the king of the city . In his mind , he was , but that was far from the truth . This was my city and the only people that didn 't know it was the ones that hadn 't been crushed by my hands . I took a sip of wine just as he looked in my direction . Right now , he was a man that was seemingly able to side - step the grim reaper , but I had my sights on him , and he knew it . He puckered his lips at me and then smiled . Taunting . It wasn 't too long ago that I was at his house asking him questions about the last missing woman . Just behind him , another female stood with her arms folded over her chest , pushing her breasts up on top of her arms . He turned around to see where my eyes were fixated , His smile immediately wiped away and from that point , he refused to answer anything without his lawyer present . We didn 't have concrete evidence about anything so we couldn 't go any further . Ever since then , three more girls had come up missing , and all were with the same MO . From that point on , he had become the only light in my tunnel vision . I took a bite of salmon , and before I knew it , the same woman that stood behind him at his house stood in front of me . She licked her lips and took it upon herself to pull a chair out , " I hope you don 't mind if I join you . " She said it in a way that said she would be shocked if I said that I did mind . I was torn on the decision myself . She was easy on the eyes , full bodied and pretty . Not movie star pretty , but she was pretty . " For me ? I mean , listen , he sent me down here to extend the offer . I will look like a failure if I can 't do something as small as bringing you back with me . I mean , " she leaned forward , " WE , would appreciate it if you came with us . " I couldn 't avoid what she was flaunting . It was a weakness of mine that I spent time after time praying to God for forgiveness about . I hadn 't visited a church in months , and that wasn 't the main reason that I gave in , but it had a lot to do with it . I took another bite as she pleaded with me earnestly and after she had batted her eyes a few times , her long eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings , I gave in . It wasn 't because of her pleading ; it was more so that I wanted another shot at Mike . He was too comfortable , and I hated that . I hated that more than anything else . Upstairs , the suite was decked out . Champaign on every table , the lights were low , women scantily clad . If I were in my younger days , I would 've indulged myself but I was much older now and besides that , it just wasn 't my thing anymore . I couldn 't care less about getting drunk and reckless . Mike extended has hand to me when I made it up there , " Detective Rawlons . Good to see you again . " I shook his hand firmly , my lips tight , jawbones gyrating inside my mouth . " What is this about ? " He laughed , " Oh , come on , Detective . I thought we would be on good terms now . I mean , after all , you guys did come back with a search warrant and the whole nine , but you guys couldn 't find anything . Now , " he leaned towards me , " You guys did trash a few wings of my home but hey , those were materialistic things . They can be replaced and have been , but I 'm willing to let bygones be bygones here . I mean , I 'm even the one inviting you up here with me . I 've buried the hatchet , and I think we can have a good relationship . " He put his arm around me , but I swiftly smacked it off . " I am not your friend , nor will I ever be . You understand that now and there won 't be any need for you to invite me up next time . You still have the stench of kidnapped bodies and missing women on you , and if it is the last thing I do , I will sniff it out . " Mike glared at me and for a moment , I believed he was going to swing at me . I wanted him to . I was looking for a reason to put my fist to his jaw and send him crashing to the ground . He was a few inches taller than me and as he peered in my direction , nostrils flaring , he decided against it and suddenly , a smile appeared across his face . I was disappointed that he didn 't take his shot . " Well , Detective , you are going to have a long road ahead of you , following a scent that is not even there . " I squinted my eyes and looked around the room at the women that perused the VIP area . Some walked around gauntly while others were smiling as if they were just happy to be around . I made eye contact with her . She sucked on her cigarette and blew the smoke out , then quickly turned away from me . I knew who she was because I never forget a face . I turned to Mike , " Thanks for bringing me up . I 'm sure we will bump heads later . " He laughed , " Alright , Detective . You can keep chasing ghosts and pass up on all these beautiful women . I 'll tell you what , though , I will not make another offer for you to leave the slums and dine with a king . " I stopped in my tracks as I walked away from him , wanting to turn back around and empty my clip into his chest . He continued , " And if I catch you on my property again , harassing me with that nonsense , you will regret it . I will make sure of it . " I took the cigar out of my pocket and relit it , leaving a cloud of smoke behind me as I left the VIP room . My home was in shambles . I hadn 't cleaned in over a month , but I didn 't see a need to . I was barely home , and things seemed to be easier to find whenever I didn 't put them up somewhere . I grabbed a cup of room temperature water from the table and took a few swallows of it . Only God knew how long it had been there , but I didn 't care . It wasn 't a time for me to be picky about it . I pulled out my phone and flipped through the contact list until I got to his name . " Listen , Breeze , I hear you . I hear you loud and clear , but it is not about what we know , it is what we can prove . We can 't take some hair - brained case to the prosecution . She will laugh us out of the office , and I know she will tell Lieutenant Branderson . You know she will . " " Listen , man , I 'm sorry , alright ? I 'm sorry , and you know I usually have your back on these things . I had it when nobody else did . I 'm the one that went to his house with you when we didn 't even have a warrant , but enough is enough . If he is guilty , it 'll show . We just have to wait . " There was a brief silence between us . I knew he had already made his line in the sand , and he wasn 't going to cross it , so it would be up to me to find those girls . I don 't know why it drove me to this point , but if I had to guess , it was because I know what a missing child can do to a family . I 'd seen first - hand how A . J . 's death ripped whatever strands were left of my marriage apart . Not only my marriage but my reclusiveness had even driven me away from my family . Instead of pulling everyone close together , it pushed me away . As the silence lingered between us like a thick , morning fog , I hung up my phone and placed it on the crowded table . What did I have to lose , I thought to myself as I picked up the glass of water and took another swallow . The warm water slid down my throat like backwash as I looked around my apartment . Nothing was hanging on the wall except a picture of A . J . , his broad smile jetted across his face , exposing the missing front tooth that had fallen out just days before he was set to take his school pictures . " It 's alright , man , the little girls will love your smile . Just tell them you got into a fight and they won 't think twice of it . " I remembered giving him that little pep talk the day before he was set to take the pictures . I walked up to it and removed it from the glass so I could fold it and shove it into my pocket . I wanted to make sure I had it with me because , for some reason , I knew I wasn 't going to be home . Not for a while . Leave a reply The sun beamed down on them as they sat outside on the outskirts of a park in New York City . It was the place that people came to find good chess competition . He emptied the pieces out of his brown paper bag as they slid onto the table and banged into one another . He set each piece up carefully , first the King and Queen , then the Bishops , the Knights , the Rooks and finally the Pawns . When he placed the clock on the side of the table , she walked up to him and took a seat . He looked at her with a haughty smirk as she glared down at the chessboard . She wore jeans and a black , sleeveless shirt with a small bag strapped over her shoulder . Her smile was alluring and had been the downfall of many men before her . Her lips were full like moons at the winter solstice . Her eyes were barely visible behind her dark shades while her brown skin was as smooth as soft , chocolate ice cream . The man shook his head , " Are you lost , little lady ? " She didn 't pay attention to his sarcasm as she nodded to the clock , " Whenever you 're ready . " He was a shark , one of the best players that this park had seen in quite some time , but she was by no means intimidated by his reputation . She enjoyed the strategy of the game just as much as anybody else . The way everything is set up to attack the king slowly or quickly with tactical means . She went in for the kill if it was there every time . She hardly ever waited because patience wasn 't her strong suit . If she had to , she would wait for the kill but for the most part , she wanted to pounce as soon as her opponent made his mistake . This was her life but to him , it was just a game , and that is where he made the mistake . He extended his hand and with that , she picked up her first piece and slapped the clock . Pawn , E4 . Pawn , D4 . Pawn , C3 . She was playing a gambit , and he fell right into it . Moments later , his fallacious smirk slowly began to fade as she pushed him into taking pieces so that she could get into a better attacking position . A small crowd started to gather as he looked at her . She folded her arms just under her chest as her breasts sat perfectly on top of her forearms . She was built like a model , and every man knew it . Most times , they were caught off guard when she showed what she could do , and that 's what she loved the most . Words she lived by . During each of his moves , she shifted her head slightly to the right , picking up on every sound the piece made when it came in contact with the board . She was a student of the game . When she was younger , her father blindfolded her and made her play games against him . " Focus on the sound of the board . You have to learn how to see your opponent 's moves before they do . You have to see the whole board in your mind before you can take apart your adversary . Always remain two steps ahead of them . " It wasn 't the same since he passed away and even thought she was responsible for it , she had good reason to do it . Things changed a lot as she grew up in her parent 's home and that was one of the things she had to deal with . She had to deal with his death on her terms and most of the times ; they came in the form of nightmares . She tapped her finger across the surface of the table as his clock ticked further and further down . He simultaneously looked between her and the board as his hands started to shake and people around began to gasp at the fact that he was on the verge of being dismantled by this attractive young woman . She wasn 't from around here . She was too quiet to be a New Yorker . Too reserved . Too calm . Her accent wasn 't gritty . He makes his move , and she smiles . She could have ended the game , but she wanted him to suffer . She enjoyed it . She moved her Bishop down and took his Queen and with that move , you could feel the torment shooting from his soul . He flipped his King over onto the board as the people around stood with their mouths open . It wasn 't completely because he had lost because , even with his skill , he has seen defeat a few times before in that very park . What caused everyone to remain with looks of unbelief plastered onto their faces were her eyes . The coolness of the gray that covered her iris 's when she removed her glasses . The way she looked at her opponent with eyes full of nothing and winked at him as if she could see everything in front of her . It was the same look she had given the men before she ended their lives . Her beautiful smile was where they underestimated her . The perfect shape of her lips coated with black lipstick , the complexion that wrapped around her body flawlessly . The beauty mark that sat right in the middle of her cheek and made a small trail to the edge of her eyes . Two long french braids hung down from both sides of her head . Her pulchritude was uncanny , and it hid who she was . Moments later , she got up and walked away from the table , parting the crowd with each step like the red sea . She was dangerous . Much more dangerous than anything that chess table had ever seen . He smiled and got up from the table to fix two more plates . He was that kind of guy . A loving father who was willing to sacrifice his things just to make sure his two women were ok . Jade Bowen was the only child of two well - off parents . Her Father was a defense attorney , and her mother made her living as a surgeon . There wasn 't much that the family couldn 't get if they wanted it , but they did their best not to spoil Jade , and so far , they did well . She was seventeen and just a few months away from graduating High School and had aspirations of going off to College to major in pharmaceuticals and follow the path of her mother . She was fascinated with repairing wounds and sewing up deep wounds were guilty pleasures for her . The blood didn 't make her queasy the way it did her father . She had a strong stomach , and her mother was the same way . Her parents were pleased because they wanted her to understand that she should have to work for everything she got , just as they did . Moments later , her mother came down the stairs . She was a more mature version of her mother . Her body filled out in a way that her daughter patiently waited for . " If that is my mom , " she thought to herself , " Then I know my body will be here sooner or later . " She walked into the kitchen with her house robe on and tied it once she got to the table . Her father turned around as he pulled juice from the refrigerator , " Oh , so Jade just automatically gets my credit ? " he said as he placed the juice on the table . Her mother laughed , " I knew you were going to throw a hissy fit ! I was just playing ; I knew that you made it . Jade 's lazy behind just got up ! " She leaned over and kissed her daughter on the cheek , then walked to her husband and put her arms around him as she pushed her lips against his . They had been married for thirteen years , and most people would say that was an unlucky number . The Bowen 's didn 't believe in luck or anything like that , but that thirteenth year of marriage is when things started to become unhinged for them . On the subway , she took a seat right next to an older white man . She folded her hands across her legs as the train glided across the tracks . The lights flashed into the car every few seconds as she took a book out of her purse and ran her fingers across the small dots on the pages . The older black man with silver hair looked down at her book , then towards her . As she turned a page , she spoke , " The Invisible Man . I love this book . Have you read it ? " The older man adjusted his glasses , " I have . I have read it , indeed . " He paused for a few moments , " Have you ever wanted to become invisible ? " Suddenly , she remembered that same thirteenth year of marriage , and it was at that moment that she wished she was invisible . Her father lost his job because he lost a case that he was forced to take . His confidence was sky high at the time , and he hadn 't seen a loss in the courtroom in a few years , but even he wasn 't sure that he could get a man off for a double murder . It was the governor 's son , and the case was as highly profiled as it could get , and when the jury came back with the verdict , it was like a pillowcase of bricks collided into his chest . From that point , he was let go of the firm and blackballed in the state . He couldn 't find another job as a lawyer if he sold his first born and the thought crossed his mind more than a few times . He was unraveling before his family 's eyes , and as the time passed , he picked up a bottle more than he did a phone to search for jobs . Jade 's mother , Allison , was become weary by the day , but she did her best to hold it together even though things were becoming tight on them . They had tapped out of all of their savings and started dipping into Jade 's college fund . She fixed dinner on her day off as Maurice stumbled into the kitchen . She sighed when he walked up to her and put his arms around her waist . " Maurice , not now . I 'm tryin ' to get dinner done . " He kept trying to kiss her until she sucked her teeth and spoke with more attitude , " Maurice ! I said not now ! " He stumbled as he took a few steps away from her . His speech was slurred , " What … what are you talkin ' about not now ? You 're … you 're MY wife and I can … I can do whatever I please to you . Now , come here and let me get a kiss . " He walked over to her again , but this time , she lifted her elbow and pushed it into his chest , " I said not now , Maurice ! I need to finish cooking ! " It may have been the stress that built up over the past seven months of unemployment , but now , the look in his eyes was much different than it was before . The man that was full of love had become bitter . Angry . Resentful . He bottled it all inside of him when he should 've released it because now , it had the propensity to come out at the wrong moment . He had an unbridled sea of emotions swirling around inside of him that was just waiting to be released . He hadn 't been able to control them and for the most part , he had become a wild card . He said as every word left his tongue as if it weighed one hundred pounds . He lifted his hand and sent it crashing down into her face again but this time , she shoved him back into the table and knocked the dinner plates onto the ground . Just then , Jade ran into the kitchen in the midst of the commotion and saw her mother bleeding from her lip , and her father tumbled onto the ground next to the shattered glass . When he got to his feet , he charged forward again , but they both moved out of the way . They had been through this before , though . This wasn 't the first time he had put his hands on her . It had nearly become a weekly occurrence for the past two months , and Jade was tired of it . She was tired of seeing her mom hurt , and her mother was tired of making up excuses for the cuts and bruises she had all over her body . Only one person can have so much misfortune happen to them at once , and things had become difficult to explain away . He walked over to Jada , " Mo . . move out of the way , Jada . This is between me an … me and yo ' mama . " Jada knew what was coming . Ever since she knew she wasn 't going to be able to go to College , she wanted to go to the army instead . She felt she would be able to make the most money in the quickest way to help her mother as much as she could . She took courses on how to handle guns and enrolled herself in multiple self - defense classes to help her hone in on her hand to hand combat . She stepped in - between her mom and dad to help protect her mother as the rage built behind his glare . He took his hand and thrust it into her chest . She fell into the stove and smacked her head forcefully into the corner of it . Jada grabbed her head as she started to lose consciousness and her mother rushed over to her . Maurice grabbed Allison by the hair and threw her backward into the wall and slowly started walking to her with a staggered limp as if he was a zombie . With the little strength she had , Jada pulled herself up and grabbed a knife from the drawer . Maurice lifted his hand and sent it crashing down into Allison over and over , " This is th … this is the last time I ' ma … I ' ma tell you about talkin ' … talkin ' back to me ! " Pow ! He sent another hand down onto her cheek , and suddenly , he stopped and looked at his stomach to see the tip of a long steak knife sticking out of it . Soon after that , blood began to trickle down his mouth as Allison looked up in horror . Maurice gasped for air as more blood fell from his mouth and he dropped to his knees . The very last thing Jada saw was her father on her back , choking on his blood . Moments later , she passed out . Back on the train , she turned slightly towards the older white man , " Once . One time . But I have no regrets . " She quickly turned towards her book and continued reading as the train came to a stop . The older man got up and got off as she closed her book and trailed him like a shadow . He didn 't suspect a thing , and that 's how she saw it in her head before it happened . She studied him . She knew he was a fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson and flashing the book in front of him would force him to speak to her so she could get the tone of his voice . She didn 't plan on needing it , but she was told to always see the whole board before she made her move . Cover every angle . She could tell you his age , height , and complexion and she hadn 't laid an eye on him . She was good at what she did , and that 's why she was on . She was a ghost . He headed up the elevator to his office building and went into his corner room . When he took his suit jacket off and hung it on the rack , he walked to the window that overlooked downtown . He put his hands behind his back as his gray hairs reflected the sunlight that beamed down onto him . He cleared his throat , " I didn 't think you would be coming this soon . " He fixed his glasses as his reflection in the glass window shined back at him and seemingly out of nowhere , Jade emerged . " But you knew I would be coming . " He laughed , " Yes . Yes , I did . However , I did not suspect that you would have been on the train with me . " She walked closer to his desk as he continued standing with his hands behind back . He was wealthy himself , the owner of the largest grocery chain in the world . However , his desire to stay connected to the common people was astounding . He rode the train , the subway , and the city bus at least once a week so he wouldn 't become so haughty and high - minded . It worked as good as anything else could have as his workers , even starting , were paid two dollars above minimum wage and qualified for healthy benefits only after three months of employment . He was one of the good guys , but the industry saw him as a bad apple . He wasn 't falling in line with what the rest of the men in his position did and therefore , he knew the end was coming . He knew that not falling in line with the status quo and succumbing to the powers that be ; there would be a stiff penalty . He was prepared , though . She reached into her bag and placed two items on his desk ; a poison that he could ingest and send him away quietly or a double - edged blade that would sever his head from his body with little to no force applied . Her escape was already planned . She walked his office many times on his lunch breaks without him noticing that she had been there . He was positioned on the fifteenth floor , but she scoped out an exit through the ventilation system that led right outside . She would grapple down the building and come down through the sunroof of a car driven by another member of the agency , and they would be gone before anybody could blink twice . They were professionals . He spoke , not once turning towards her . It was slightly jarring that he said her name . However , she wasn 't deterred . She wasn 't going to dive off into unnecessary conversations . She was there to do a job , and that was it . The sun beamed down on him as he squinted his eyes and remained in his position , " You know , I pride myself on the things that I do for my employees . I respect them and in turn , they are willing to work for me and help keep my business afloat . I understand that - " she interrupted him , " Albert , please . " He slowly turned towards her with a smile on his face and his stomach round and plumped like a globe was stuffed in his shirt . His dark skin enveloped his body as if he was dipped in a dark , oily river as he looked at the options in front of him . He picked up the small bottle and opened the lid , " Temazepam , " he said as he spread the pills on the table . Jade stood in front of him with the blade in her hand , a silenced 9 - millimeter pistol in the other . He looked at her and smiled , " Ah , three choices now , huh ? " He didn 't seem to be worried , not even in the slightest fashion . Death is something that he was prepared for ever since he took his stance . His will was prepared , and all of his businesses were in order . He picked up a few pills and walked over to his water dispenser , " Would you like a drink ? " She stood there silently , her dark shades facing in his direction . " Just being hospitable , " he said as he pressed the release button for the water . It splashed into his paper cup , and he nearly filled it to the brim , then walked back to his desk and took a seat . Her head moved with each step he took until he was perched in his chair . She tightened her finger on the trigger as Albert tested her patience . He looked up to her , " I 'll be sure to tell Allison hello for you when I get there . " Suddenly , she paused , and the chances of that happening when she was in the midst of a job were unheard of , but right now , she was frozen . The machine in the hospital beeped right next to her bed as Jade stood by her mom , stroking her hand delicately to calm her anxiety . Even though she told her she was fine , Jade knew the truth . She could feel emotions better than most people could read faces . Her senses seemed to enhance weeks after she lost her vision . " I 'm here , Mama . I 'm not going anywhere . " Five years after Allison 's husband was killed , she was diagnosed with malignant cancer that was rapidly eating away at her insides . The doctors said that she didn 't have many more days to live , however , the time she spent in the hospital was as pleasant as anyone 's last days could be . She was bombarded with flowers and balloons almost on a daily basis just to show that she was appreciated . Albert had grown quite fond of her in the past few years . Although she wasn 't making herself available by any means , he still pursued her and , in fact , he was seeking to make her his bride . Jade knew all of this , but business is business . She stood in front of him as he took a deep breath and leaned his head back with the pills in the palm of his hand . Suddenly , he stopped and tilted his head forward as he put the cup of water back on the table . " You know what , " he said , " You 're going to have to - " and before he could finish , she sent a shot from her silenced pistol that went through his forehead and out of the glass behind him . She was through the ventilation system before his body hit the ground . |
It 's a beautiful night . Just gorgeous . The birds are singing . The sky is that clear blue that lets you see into the deep beyond . And the temperature is up in the sixties . All winter and spring , I didn 't envy Mike his camping . Now , I want to be snuggled up next to him , sitting on a log we 're sharing and watching the flames in a fire while the boys roast marshmallows and burn sticks . I 'm enjoying a lull in the storm . Early tomorrow , about when the morning sun begins to warm Mike 's tent and the birds sing their morning song , I 'll get up and head over to the Eagles Lodge to warm up the grill . Maybe I 'll sing a song too , as long as it isn 't too embarrassing for Nick . I don 't work to embarrass him . I really don 't . Once things get going , I 'm going to arm myself with a sponge and some spray cleaner . I 'll look busy , but I 'm going to be looking at how things are moving along . My job is to smile and encourage the boys . That 's all , except I 'll be the one everyone comes to with questions . Can I redirect that to the senior patrol leader ? Will he know the answers ? The sponge and cleaner will help keep me focused . I have no idea why , but I operate more smoothly when I have something in my hands , a pen , a camera , a sponge . If you told me that my brain didn 't function without my hands , I 'd probably nod my head and write a note about it . I imagine burned pancakes and sticky syrup on carpet . I need to imagine beautiful plates of food and happy boys and customers . We 're serving pancakes , sausages , bacon , strawberries , whipped cream , coffee , orange juice , and milk . When it 's all over , I 'll have the pancake flippers throw some chocolate chips on the pancakes and the boys will eat . I 'm hoping there will be whipped cream left so they can put huge piles of it on their pancakes . Maybe there will be strawberries left too . Maybe we can keep up with the dishes as we go along . Maybe we 'll even make enough money to do what Mike needs it to do . to even out the cost of going to camp . There isn 't anything else I can do until morning . I 'm going to bed , but I 'm not sure I can sleep yet . I 've planned enough time in the morning to stop at the coffee hut . If I can 't sleep now , I can sleep tomorrow afternoon . When I snuggle in , I can lay there and breathe until I 've said it to myself enough times : Getting ready today for the pancake breakfast wasn 't as bad as I thought . I vacuumed the dog hair out of my car so food won 't get furry when I shop tomorrow . I had pulled the car half - way into the garage thinking I 'd have more room and the extension cord would still reach . I wrestled with the wet - dry vac trying to get it into position by the door where I didn 't really have enough room to open the door properly . The tension on the extension cord made the plug pop out a couple of times . Nick was there , so I had to curb language I 'd have used if I 'd been alone . Mike really does need to get some of this Scout gear out of here , but where ? The third seat from the truck was lying across a couple of crates and I couldn 't even budge them . So , I did that pretend - to - be - skinny dance people do when they can 't open the door any wider . It was worse because I didn 't actually want to get in , but needed to bend over with my head and arms near the floor so I could see what I was doing . That must have been pretty . I think I banged the crap out of the door . Nick sat in the back seat doing his homework because he needed help making equations out of the functions shown on his sheet . I realized that I couldn 't hear a word he was saying with the vacuum running , so I crawled into the back seat with him trying to make heads or tails out of x = 2 and y = - 6 ; x = 3 and y = - 10 and so on . Bonus points if you can do the work from just those two examples . I had to look at it for a while . Math is definitely getting more complicated . I might be able to keep up into algebra , but there are no guarantees after that . I finally got the car cleaned up good enough . Since the struts are broken on the hatch , I didn 't even try to clean in the back . Tonight , Mike told me that somehow he only ordered one . One won 't be enough , so I won 't have the hatch when I bring everything over tomorrow . I 'm thinking I 'll get the supplies I need from home and bring them over on Friday rather than wrestle with that hatch at 6 : 45 am on Saturday morning . Unfortunately , Mike is bringiI walked the dog today too . He missed out yesterday and he really needed a walk yesterday . He drives me and the cat nuts when he doesn 't get enough exercise . On the way home from the park , I figured out that I can still use my CD player in my car as long as I bring forceps to pull a disk out when I 've listened to the whole thing . I 'm sure it 's dog hair mucking up the works . I should bring the little keyboard blower out and stick the nozzle in there again and blow . It worked last time . Only , this time , the whole thing is making a noise . Maybe I should call Car Talk on Saturday morning and make the noise for them . Those guys love when you mimic the noise your car makes . When did my car get so old and decrepit ? About the time I should have been making dinner , I got to work making a sign and a sandwich board for Saturday . Now my hands are tired . It turns out that colored pencils don 't get very dark on the slick side of foam core . Oh hell . I 'm not going to do it over again now . The coffee cup I drew has curly steam . My pancakes have a little pat of butter on top , and Nick and Mike both recognized the bacon , though I believe it 's the weakest part of my drawing . I also made the coffee cup disproportionately small next to the plate . Okay , so maybe I was drawing an espresso instead . Don 't anyone get any ideas that I 'm making mochas on Saturday . I 'm not . Mike double - checked the quantities on my grocery list so I don 't end up with ten times as much bacon as we need . He also said another volunteer emailed about coming to help . See , he 's doing his part in all of this . See ? Yesterday , I got the cash box set up , but I 'm worried that $ 200 in tens won 't be enough . We could go through that in the first hour if everyone comes in with twenties . Mike says it 's plenty . I don 't think so . Not really . Not at all . And on Saturday , if someone has to run out to the bank , it will gum up the works for at least a half an hour . Can you picture that too ? We have people . We have food . We just can 't take their money . Yes , it would stink to run out of tens . And at home , even though I 've done the requisite single load of dishes , I have another load to do before I can see counter top . I folded two loads of laundry and there 's another one in the dryer . Finally , Mike ran out to get pizza because he could see there was no lovely dinner smell emanating from the kitchen . Pizza was good . Wonder what he 'll bring home tomorrow night ? See , he is doing his part . Boy , I hope we make some money on this fundraiser . I 'm just about ready to pull out my checkbook and write a check for a couple thousand dollars just to make it all go away . Maybe next year , I 'll figure out how to delegate some of these tasks . Maybe . I don 't mind making the signs , but I 'll definitely want someone to pick up the pizza and vacuum the dog hair out of my car . Thank you for listening , jb So , the Boy Scout pancake breakfast is this Saturday . Last night , just before he fell asleep , Mike rolled over and said he 's noticed that his friends are passing the information about it more than he expected . He thinks we might get more than 150 people . When I asked him about adding to the quantities I 'm buying , he said to stick to the plan . I hate when he mentions something like this when it 's time to settle in to sleep . It 's hard to sleep when a wrench gets thrown into the works . Mike is beginning to pack for the Camporee . Yesterday , the den started filling up with tents , crates of kitchen gear , sleeping bags , flash lights and all kinds of Scout detritus . I 'm on track with my pancake plans , starting a pile of my own . So far , I have four large boxes that contain pristine chafing dishes . Later today , I need to set up a cash box with singles , fives , and tens . I wish I could ask for an even ten for each plate . That would make money changing simpler , but it 's too much to charge for a plate of pancakes . I also need to make the signs and find Sterno for the chafing dishes I borrowed . Is it Sterno that goes in them ? I 'm going to inventory the boxes containing the chafing dishes this woman loaned . I need to make sure I get every piece back to her intact . I wish I hadn 't asked her . Yesterday , when I called , she told me this horror story about someone who borrowed them , kept them too long , and returned them dirty . Oh . She 's a very clean person and what if I return them too dirty for her standards ? Do water marks qualify as dirt ? What if dog hairs from the dog 's blanket in the car float up and get on them ? What if parts get mixed up with the other chafing dishes we are borrowing when we clean up at the end ? What if the boys drop a lid and it gets dented ? I like that these will look really nice on the table when we serve , but I 'm nervous that something will go wrong with them . Next time , I want to borrow old and battered chafing dishes . This morning , I woke a half an hour before my alarm went off . Mike was already up . I laid in bed , stewing about all this for a bit , then practiced taking deep and even breaths for a while before I sat up . I think I managed about six breaths before I wanted to jump up , ready to tell Mike everything I was going to worry about for the day . I may have things to do to get ready , I thought as I lolled about in my warm bed , but my job on Saturday is to make it fun for the boys . If I 'm a bitch on wheels , they 'll never show up next year when we plan another one . Nick and I talked about setting up a golden spatula rank for any kid who exemplified the Boy Scout Law . You know the one I mean . A Scout is trustworthy , loyal , helpful , friendly . . . Last night , as he procrastinated falling asleep , he went through each of the words and told me how it would fit with a pancake breakfast . If I paid attention to each of the kids who showed up , he said I could count points and award a golden spatula rank to any boy who delivered on ten of the good words . It 's a good idea , except for one thing . On Saturday , I 'm going to struggle not to be running around like a chicken with her head cut off . I 'm going to be trying to exemplify my three most challenging of those words - cheerful , kind , and reverent ( or at least respectful of the Scouts and their inexperience and their energy ) . I 'm not sure I 'll be able to watch and listen if three people are asking me questions at one time . Mike says that I don 't need to reward the boys , that eating pancakes at the end will be their reward . Nick had been really excited about the golden spatula rank . Mike thought I might get a single one and award it , but both Nick and I thought that would cause too much negative competition because there will be more than one boy there who 's going to be great on Saturday . So instead , I 'm scheduling Foosball time in between cleaning the tables , handing out fliers , and serving portions . I 'm setting aside whipped cream for the boys to use on their pancakes and I 'll bring chocolate chips and jimmies too . The last bit to make it fun will be the attitude I bring on Saturday . When I was a kid , my church youth group hosted pancake breakfasts once in a while . There was this really old retired guy , Reverend Boyd , who came and made pancakes and talked with us . He was sweet . He was funny . He listened . He let us bounce around and make silly pancakes . Mickey Mouse is the easiest . There should be a Boy Scout Mom Law - A mom is kind , patient , generous , tolerant , persistent , and fun . That 's going to be my biggest challenge on Saturday . I need to remember it . Oh , and there 's a wrench that just got thrown into the works . This morning , Nick woke up with one of those deep and scary coughs of his . I 'm pretty sure I 'm going to be up with him for the next few nights , working to make sure he keeps breathing . A mom is kind , patient , generous , tolerant , persistent , fun , sleep - deprived , over - extended , stressed , and worried about the worst thing that can happen . I 'm hoping I remember to breathe . Thank you for listening , jb I 'm in between stories , in a way . I 've got ' The Importance of Being Seven ' by Alexander McCall Smith on CD , but one of the disks is stuck in my old car and won 't pop out . There 's probably a dog hair mucking up the mechanism . McCall 's story , a sweet one , one with many philosophical questions that I love finding in a book , questions that redeem the rambling nature of the story , is just hanging there , part way through disk 9 . It would have been ironic if it had been disk 7 , wouldn 't it ? The Importance of Being Seven . Life isn 't telling the story the way I want it to yet again . Okay , so I could say , " Number 9 ? Number 9 ? Number 9 ? " and some of you would know which song I mean and in a drunken , remember those college weekends way , it would be ironic . Except that McCall 's isn 't that kind of book . Or it could be stuck on disk 42 , and that would be the answer . It 's not that kind of book either . The story is hanging there , unfinished and unattainable . In addition to having my car holding one story ransom , I just finished reading another , ' Some Assembly Required ' by Anne Lamott . I usually love everything that Anne Lamott writes , but this book seems different . In the past , I have loved and admired Lamott 's honesty . And she was funny . When seeing her live at a reading , I felt she was endowed with the gifts of a stand up comic , though I 'll admit that when she signed the books , she seemed tired and disconnected . A book tour could do that to a person , I figured . Maybe I was too tired as I read this book . Maybe it was too late at night and my nighttime blur changed my viewpoint . The book seemed too exposed somehow , too honest . I wanted her to be together now that she 'd survived raising a son , getting straight , and finding her spirituality . I didn 't like seeing that raw nerve she 's so good at getting me to feel . I felt she should hide that part , except that it was the reason for the entire book , right ? So , here 's a question for you : How much information is too much for memoir ? In a novel , it 's okay to go all bloody and graphic on a reader . Just look at all the crime stuff that flies off the shelf . But when it 's a memoir , does that change things ? Bill Bryson 's book , ' The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid ' seems authentic enough when you read it . So does Frank McCourt 's ' Angela 's Ashes . ' Yet , Bryson never makes me feel as though I 'm supposed to be sorry for him . The agony with which I read ' Angela 's Ashes ' seemed like a flayed bony finger pointing at the people who caused this misery for these poor children . I wanted one redeeming element to be shown at the end . Anything at all . And sometimes , as in ' Some Assembly Required , ' I feel like I 've just seen a streaker who stopped to read the bus stop schedule in the middle of his run . Oh , Lamott is not graphic visually , but the anxiety she portrays is so raw . It makes me want to ask , " Honey , are you sure you want to publish this ? " Too late now . And yet , she tells a poignant story , that struggle of a parent to let go and become a grandmother , one who lets the kids , who are now parents , manage on their own . See , memoir also harbors another fault . Sometimes the author needs to stop talking and publish . What if we readers find that she , the author and main character , isn 't as changed as we 'd have liked her to be at the end of the book , especially when the sequel has begun where she left off as the new and improved self that she was in the previous book . Life isn 't convenient to the story . Real people may not be able to cooperate that way . Maybe that 's her point . For the past three days , I 've been running around trying to post fliers for the Boy Scout pancake breakfast next Saturday . I know I should have had the boys do this . I handed out fliers at the last meeting , but when I was out and about , I only saw one flier that I wasn 't responsible for posting . One . I learned a lot by going around to local businesses and asking if I could put up fliers in their windows . First , I learned that I have a great deal of difficulty walking in , asking to post the flier , and walking out without buying anything . At the market , I bought some necessary groceries . No problem . Those people are great . They know me . At the coffee hut , I bought a coffee . Still , no problem . At the cafe , I realized I was hungry , so I ordered a bowl of soup and some tea . By the time I left , I realized that this was going to take a very long time and I 'd better make a pit stop before I took the dog on the trail for a walk . I was also going to spend a lot of money . By the time I was done , I bought coffee at two places , tea and soup at another , three bags of groceries , barbecue for dinner Thursday , teriyaki for dinner on Friday , and a straw hat from the hardware . I like those people at the hardware store . I also got a bottle of water and a cheerful set of directions to the new off leash area in the area from guy at a coffee house where I had never stopped before . I finally did figure out that I had enough courage to walk into a place , ask , smile , post the flier , and walk out . The cupcake place was my first stop of deep courage . They were kind , too , which only made it that much harder for me to leave without one of their pretty cupcakes in hand . And the smell in there was divine . The next thing I learned is that I am sensitive to the difference in the vibe given off by employees when I wasn 't an actual customer . It changed my opinion of the Starbucks where I 'd met a friend a number of times when it was too wet to walk the dogs . I had stopped at an outside table there to pet a guy 's dog when a woman , someone in her twenties , approached . " We don 't even have a community board in there any more , " she said to me with barely disguised disdain . " Okay , " I said . I looked at the guy with the dog . " Any chance you 're interested in a pancake break . . . . . " I was tired . I was tired of coffee . The fliers weren 't for me . I was putting myself out there for a few boys who might not otherwise get to go to Boy Scout camp . I might have given the guy a look before I walked away , but I 'm not sure if I had the presence of mind . I 've felt like an idiot a lot this week . Most of the time , it was met with kindness and just once , it wasn 't . So why am I supposed to come back to this Starbucks , to have these people making me coffee with plastic smiles on their faces ? I 'll go a half a block further to the place where the guy was cheerful and they had a wonderful fireplace and cosy seating . I 'll go to the place where the cashier said her son loved pancakes and she might bring him next Saturday . She even brought me a cup of miso soup . I 'll go back to the market where the guy said he 'd be our backup if we ran out of anything that morning . I may have been uncomfortable this week as I taped up fliers for the pancake breakfast , but I definitely learned where my allegiances lie . I 'm also a little bit more courageous than I was before . I love that sleepy feeling you get after you 're back into warm , dry clothes and have a cup of tea in your hands . It 's wet out there today . The trail was overgrown and mucky , yet it was wonderful being out and about , chatting with my friend about kids and school . I love how we realize that we can use a little bad language for emphasis since there are no kids around , for example when I stepped into the muck with my brand new running shoes . I really didn 't plan this hike all that well . Wrong shoes , forgot my rain coat . When I got back , I put on my pajamas and got to work in the kitchen , making beef stroganoff for dinner and chili for lunches while I listened to the radio . There was a lot of news after that . Nationally , the Boy Scouts finally got onto the right track and no longer denies boys membership based on sexual orientation . Now , that 's a step in the right direction . Way to go Boy Scouts ! I 'm just hoping they can bring themselves to agree that it shouldn 't matter for adults either . Hey , if the military can do it . . . Locally , Nick told me that he didn 't have the same problems with his vision that he 'd had in class on Monday , Tuesday , and Wednesday . The bruise on his brain is beginning to heal . That meant that he could go to karate , if only to move silently as he practiced his forms . No sparring tonight . No sparring tomorrow night either . The doctor has him returning to his normal activities in stages with the last stage being contact sports . Nick informed me that one of the kids likes to punch him in the face . That 's contact ! Great . Mike and all the senseis Nick has ever had insist that sparring is an important part of learning the forms . I guess I 'm just not fond of the idea that some kid is hitting my kid and this is sanctioned activity . I can see why I 'd like to learn karate . Who wouldn 't want to know how to throw the perfect punch when it comes to that moment ? But I have no desire for my boy to get hit in the process . I have to stop and remember that there have been very few times when I felt it necessary to throw a punch or a kick . I can count four and I managed quite well without training . I even pulled one of the punches at the last second . Just making the right movement was all it took to make these two bullies leave me alone . Mike tells me that boys are different ? Are boys different ? I asked him how many fights he 'd gotten into and , even growing up in New Jersey , he admitted there were none . My point exactly . Still , Nick has used his karate to block blows from four kids that I know of . Oh , he 's pretty transparent for now , so I probably do know about all of them . That 'll change soon enough . I guess it makes sense for him to learn karate . He gets confidence from it . Plus , it 's really great exercise . I 'm not sure I could do even one of those frog hops they do over and over and over . So , the problem I had was that I 'd already gotten comfortable in my pajamas and didn 't want to go out again . Damn . I got ready anyway . I went . When we got back , I jumped into my pajamas again and landed on the couch with Mike and Nick . We watched the news about the bridge collapse on I - 90 . I wanted to post a Facebook status that said , " Dear Mom , I 'm okay . I wasn 't on the bridge and I promise I didn 't make it collapse . ' Mike said it would be insensitive . It was really strange watching the people sit on top of their cars while the rescue people tried to get to them safely . They said three people were rescued and two went to the hospital . That 's an amazingly low number , I think . That part of the road is almost always busy when I 'm on it . I chattered away at the way the news people were presenting the information , commenting on the safety issues , on the rescue , on the anchor 's chatter . I wonder , sometimes , if Mike would rather listen to the news than my commentary on it . Then , after switching to national news to see if the bridge news made it that far , we watched President Obama 's face as an interloper interrupted his speech . It was so stupid . This woman was screaming her opinions about drones and Guantanamo , issues which the President was trying to discuss , issues he 's trying to solve . She had no interest in letting him actually discuss how . Sometimes I think his presidency will be defined by stupid acts like that , other people interfering with the way he 's trying to solve problems we all agree need to be addressed . The woman was seriously annoying . I have to tell you if I had been a spectator standing next to her , it would have been a good thing I didn 't know just exactly how to throw that perfect punch . Thank you for listening , jb I spent the day with ' what if . ' Late this morning , as Mike slept a little longer , I had a strong urge to look in on him to make sure his ears were still pink . He almost never goes back to bed . I didn 't want to wake him , just make sure he was still breathing . I spent a bit of time imagining how I would manage , or more likely not manage , if something happened to him . I wondered , and not for the first time , if a man can die of lack of sleep . So , I held myself in check and stayed away from our closed door . I tried to change my train of thought as I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and chatted with Nick from the other room . Then , I actually sat down to watch inane cartoons with Nick after I got the dishwasher going . Sometimes it 's good for your mind to watch inane cartoons on TV . When Mike got up , a little after noon , I jumped up to hug him . I know it isn 't healthy to think a long time about what will happen when someone I love dies , but you have to remember that I know what it feels like to lose people . I believe that in a way , it 's a memory instead of just a daydream . Those days were hard , especially after my dad died . I spent a lot of time then by myself . It was a lot for a thirteen year old girl to figure out on her own . I 've learned that the flip side of all this is that I know exactly how lucky I am to have loved Mike for nearly twenty - six years . Plus , I get to imagine that we 'll have more time together . Most days , I imagine a lot more time with him . There was another ' what if ' this weekend , the one that started it all . On Friday morning , Nick was a bit too exuberant in opening the hatch to the Pruis and cheap plastic parts holding the struts onto the hatch failed . The thing came down hard , grazed Nick 's forehead , then hit him across the chest . At first , he didn 't realize he 'd been hit . Hard hits work that way . A goose egg bump formed immediately on his head and , leaving his backpack , vest , and lunch bag in the rain , I huddled Nick back into the house . " Mike , you need to assess this . Nick was hit in the head by the hatch . It came loose from its moorings and fell on him , " I yelled as I sat Nick down on the couch and ran for an ice pack . Mike sat down with Nick while I paced back and forth . Mike shined the LED light from his iPhone in Nick 's eyes . Not fixed . Not dilated . " Do you feel dizzy ? " he asked him . " No . Well , maybe a little , " Nick said . " How is your vision ? Is it okay ? " Seeing that Nick probably wasn 't having an emergency , I ran out to the car , at the same time calling Adrian to have him run over to meet me . He was going to be late for school . One of the struts stuck out of the side of the hatch and it wouldn 't close properly . Leaving the hatch , I scooped up Nick 's things and threw them into the car . Adrian jumped in with his stuff , and I sped down the road , trying to slow my breathing and my driving while telling Nick 's story to Adrian . I dropped him off and drove a little more safely back home . " I gave him some Acetaminophen , " Mike said as I walked up the stairs . " Dont ' give him Ibuprofen . It might make things bleed more easily . Keep ice on his head . You might need to take him to the doctor later if his symptoms get worse . " And then Mike was off to work himself . Still , with the addition of visual changes , dizziness , and some nauseousness , meanth that we were headed to the doctor later that morning . I 'd had Nick keep the ice on his head for more than an hour . The poor kid kept taking it off because it was giving him a brain freeze and I kept nagging him to put it back . For a while , the swelling spread down into his eye , threatening to close it , but it eased after a bit . I take credit for my work , the nagging , regarding the ice . Still , I didn 't want Nick to suffer the same fate as Natasha Richardson who hadn 't thought the bump on her head worth seeing a doctor over . So I made an appointment . I was okay , I really was , that is , until the doctor kept talking about how lucky Nick was that the hatch had only grazed his head instead of hitting it square or on the back of his neck or something . This doctor was a wonderful , a very curious and thorough doctor , and he spoke directly to Nick instead of talking to me as if he weren 't in the room . I love those characteristics in a doctor . In the car after the appointment , I hid the way my hands were shaking by talking to Mike on the phone about what the doctor had said . Mild concussion . Two days rest . Heavy limits on video games and no school for two days . Too bad it was a Friday . No contact sports for a week . Mild exercise , yes . Bouncing and bumping , jumping and especially sparring , no . I got calmed down while I talked to Mike . He has that effect on me . And then , I was okay until this afternoon , when I needed to run errands . I left Mike to look after Nick who had been pretty quiet for the past twenty - four hours . I brought the dog because he needed a walk . After I finished my errands , I headed to the dog park , hoping the off leash area would be busy , but there wasn 't a soul around . We 'd have to walk then . Dangerous , these quiet walks . I let my mind wander to its own place . ' What if ' came back . What if that hatch had come down square on Nick 's head ? What if it had chopped at the back of his neck ? What if , what if , what if ? In the end , it was good there weren 't any people in the grassy area when I got back from looping out through the back field where the elk lie . I was wrung out , jittery . My head hurt . Leave it to me to have my head hurt when Nick is the one who got the bump . When I got home and walked up the stairs , Nick was raring to go . The Lego store . It was important . I could see that he was feeling better . " Are you going to come with us ? " Mike asked . I had dreams that I worked really hard to make this Boy Scout pancake breakfast work so that no one got sick to their stomachs and no one actually showed up . Dreams . Technicolor dreams . I did that kind of thing when planning my wedding twenty - two years ago too . I dreamed that I walked down the aisle in a borrowed purple prom dress . I woke knowing it was time , past time really , to go find my dress . I dreamed that I planned the whole thing , caterers and all , and no one came because a pile of invitations sat on my desk . That morning , I knew it was time to send out the invitations . So yesterday , when I dreamed that no one came to the pancake breakfast , I woke knowing it was time once again to send out the invitations . The funny thing to know here is that I only had forty - nine people at my wedding including the musicians and caterers . I still remember that number because I told the caterers that everyone needed to eat . Everyone . I wish the number had been forty - two . A bit of advice to all you girls planning your weddings out there . The musicians play longer and are quite cheerful if you feed them . So , I procrastinated all afternoon with my notification to the newspapers . The community has two newspapers and a newsletter . The newsletter publishes on the first of the month , so I figured most people will have eaten breakfast before they crack open the newsletter for the local news . That was a bummer . But I figured the two newspapers should cover things , plus a good plug to my Facebook friends the week before . Hopefully , that will rouse a hundred or so people from their pajamas and cartoons on a Saturday morning to go help the local Boys Scout troop send its boys to camp . We also might get some grandparents if I make up fliers too and hopefully some people at the last minute who are tired of waiting to get onto the train for the view of the falls . I sat down about twenty minutes before it was time to drive Nick to karate and wrote the who , what , where , when , and why of it all on a scrap of paper . I use that method because I 'm the one who invited twenty of my best friends to a birthday party once and never put the date of the party on the cards . Really ? Yeah . I did that . I also planned a birthday party , wYou 'd think . So , I finished the who , what , where , when , why and I think there was no need for how in this case . Then the little piece of paper sat there , on top of my laptop , until 10 : 30 when Mike was trying to get ready for bed . " Honey , they don 't have a place for me to enter anything new on the events page , " I yelled into the bathroom . " It should be there somewhere , " Mike said through his toothpaste . " Try checking the ' contacts ' tab . " " Not there either . " I asked a half a dozen more inane questions to which Mike responded with patience . Did I ever tell you that Mike is patient ? Seriously , if he did the whole thing himself , he 'd have the answer to these questions about websites he 's never visited . He 's good at finding the wheat amid the chaff of software and web pages . I know I should have clammed up and done my job . He had been the one to delegate it to me , not the other way around , I reminded myself . " Would you edit this ? " I asked , handing him the scrap of paper with my ' who , what , where ' scrawled on it . " It looks fine , " he said after fifteen seconds . He sat down on the bed and took off his socks . Did he read it at all ? Did I wait too late in the evening to have access to his thinking brain ? I turned to go back out to sit down at the computer . " Did you answer the who , what , where , and when ? " he called after me . He 's a gem . He really is . I turned in time to see him peel off his T - shirt . I went back to the contact information on the ' submit news ' page for the first newspaper . I entered all the required information , looked it over one last time , referring to my scratch paper , and pressed the ' submit ' button . Yay ! I was half done . Then , onto the second newspaper I went . It 's format was entirely different . I typed in all the required fields and pasted my who , what , when , where into the main field . I could hear my pillow calling my name . Just a few more minutes to go . I figured I could wait to finish the fliers until just before the next troop meeting . I was mentally brushing my teeth and looking at my reflection in the mirror when I pressed the ' submit ' button for the second time , skipping right past another button that said ' preview . ' Nah , I 've got this down ! Nope . I didn 't have it down ! The view of my events calendar entry after I pressed that ' submit ' button repeated everything twice , once from the required fields I had filled in on the web page and once from my piece of scratch paper listing the who , the what , the where , and the when in the main block the page designers had left me . So now , this event is going to be listed in the paper with the who , the what , the when , and the where showing up twice . I hate when I 'm redundant ! Hate it ! I 'm finally getting some free time . I don 't know why . I think I 'm just taking it as opposed to having earned it or having a lull in the action . There is always action . I 'm always behind . Today , I should have mowed the lawn before it rained . I should have vacuumed Teddy 's fur out of the car . I should have changed the sheets , done laundry , dusted . Instead , I walked with Teddy today . It was a sweet day for a walk . I may have told you that I 'm not a fan of enduring sunshine . I would not be happy in California , Arizona , or New Mexico , though I might try New Mexico some day because the mountains are so bare , seem so open to walking . Plus , there 's a great art community there . I 'd like that . I 'd have to get used to the dazzling sun , though . I prefer clouds . Today , the sun broke through , then the clouds overcame them . Back and forth , the weather tipped . It was perfect . I went along a trail I usually skip through without seeing . I stopped at a copse of trees , looked at the view of the falls , and considered sitting on the bench . I didn 't , but I did get to looking at the bark on the trees . They were all messed up . Damn ! These trees had slash marks in the bark about five feet up . Why can 't people leave well enough alone ? Then I looked closer . Maybe they were territory markings of the black bear that lives in the neighborhood . I didn 't see anything like a pile of garbage or a carcass that would cause territory to be an issue . I didn 't want to see either of those things . It would have been ugly , but on top of that , I really don 't want a bear to think I 'm after its food . Still , I studied these scratches . It didn 't exactly look like a kid did it . But if it were a bear , it would have to be a short bear . Fur stuck to the bark , tan fur . Not a kid , then . Well , black bear can actually range from dark brown to nearly blonde , but I 'd never heard anyone around here reporting a light - colored one . All the pictures I 'd seen on Facebook were very brown . So , if it were a bear , it would be a short itchy blonde bear . Hmmm . I took pictures of these marks and sent them to Mike . His response ? ' Cool ! ' Then , I wandered around , connected up to another of my normal trails , circled back around , and waved at the groundskeeper on my way out . When Nick got home from school , I showed him the pictures too . I asked him if he thought it was some kid with a pocket knife or maybe a bear . " No Mom , there 's fur all over . Those marks are from elk , " he said . " Look at the color of the fur . They 're rubbing their antlers and it 's scratching the bark off the trees . " So , it turns out that when you approach people with a clipboard and pen in your hands , they start to get that trapped look in their eyes . Tonight , I walked up to anyone over eighteen at the Scout meeting and began my spiel . Some of us stood outside while the boys met inside with committee members . Mosquitoes swarmed us , micro vampires looking for a meal . " Are you guys planning to go to the Camporee ? " I said , approaching one group wearing my best salesman smile . " Ah , I 'm not sure yet . When is it ? " one guy said . " It 's the weekend of May 31st , " I said , still smiling . By the time I 'd run through the whole thing with the second adult , the first one , still reeling from my assault , was warning the others that my intent had nothing to do with the Camporee . If they tried to say ' no , ' thus avoiding the dreaded sign - up sheet , they were stepping right into my trap . " I don 't think so . I think there 's a tournament that weekend . " " Ah , so if you can 't make it to the Camporee , maybe you could help out at the pancake breakfast ? We have a conflict and Mike has asked me to get things going . " Then , I quickly rattled off the details . Before they could check their mental calendars , I said that they could come for part of it even if they were busy later . One guy said he was going to Hawaii . Yeah right . I 'll believe that when I see the boarding passes . Once they were on to my tricks , quite a few more people signed up to go to the Camporee . I lost a perfect pancake flipper who had originally said he was too busy for the Camporee . He actually told me outright that a Camporee was going to be more fun than a pancake breakfast . Bummer . In the end , though , I have more than the four adults and at least six kids that I need to keep things going that day . A few of the adults even have food handling permits . The really good news is that one of my recruits is someone who 's done this kind of thing before . She momentarily infused me with a calm that could only be described as Zen - like . She knew Costco volumes , baking bacon tricks , and suggested a pseudo - buffet line to speed up service . By the time I was done picking her brain and begging her to come , I was quite a bit more confident about this pancake breakfast . I just might be able to pull this out of the hat yet . On the way home , I stopped at the library to pick up my holds . There was a movie , some music , and a couple of books of Japanese prints waiting for me . I could feel my new - found confidence slipping when I ran into a friend of mine before I walked out of the door . We stood outside amid another swarm of mosquitoes and talked . Maybe they were the same mosquitoes and had somehow followed me to the library in my car . I told her how I 'd dropped one commitment , the club she 's in , only to add another . I told her that Mike had put me in charge of a pancake breakfast . I 'm not sure I like being in charge of anything . " Really ? I could . That 's a good idea . Hey , maybe he could come , make everything happen , and somehow I could stay in bed that morning with my head under my covers , " I said . " Yeah , that . I can 't make that work . There 's the problem with that tall guy that I really like at home . " So , my job now is to send out notices , make up fliers , and to get back to that Zen - like state . My meditation words will be ' bacon , pancake mix , butter , syrup , coffee , cream , sugar . ' Breathe in , hold , and release slowly . ' Bacon , pancake mix , butter , syrup , coffee , cream sugar . ' And repeat , ignoring any monkey - mind suggestions about induced illnesses and no shows . ' Bacon , pancake mix , butter . . . ' Every day should be Mother 's Day . This morning , Mike made eggs Benedict for all of us . As if that weren 't enough , the guys cleaned the house while I took a leisurely walk with Teddy . At first , I walked , wishing the guys had come with me , but then I got into a groove of looking at patterns in the leaves . I tell you my head was in the clouds as I walked , my eyes glazed over , when suddenly , Teddy jumped a few feet straight in the air . The he proceeded to suspiciously sniff an extra long dandelion puff that had touched his leg . Then he turned and recoiled from a stick that seemed to have snuck up from behind him . It occurred to me that I might sound off kilter laughing that loud out on the trail by myself . " Oh honey , did you think a snake got you ? " I said to smooth over the strangeness of laughing alone in the woods . Teddy looked at me and hung his head a little . " Don 't worry , " I said . " I 'd have jumped too . " I looked along the sunny edges of the grass after that but never did see a snake . I don 't doubt that Teddy saw one . I like that the snakes on this side of the mountains are benign little creatures . All I 've ever seen were garters , some with green stripes , some with orange , and occasionally , one with blue stripes . It 's a good way to get to know snakes . Where I grew up , there were garters , hog - nosed snakes , and blue racers , but there were also copperheads , rattlers , and the dreaded water moccasin . I hate water snakes . They 're outright aggressive . The garters eat small rodents . I used to have a garter snake in tall grass by my driveway , but I haven 't seen him in a dog 's age . I knew where he lived , so I wasn 't surprised by him very often . When I was done walking , I stopped at the market , got into a conversation with the checker about his college studies and with another shopper about hunting mushrooms . Someday , I should tell you about hunting mushrooms when I was a kid . I loved hunting mushrooms . I used to fall asleep trying to picture them among the leaves when it was the season . I swear that made it easier to spot Oh , it looked good . The garbage and recyclables were out by the road . The foyer wasn 't vacuumed that I could tell , nor were the stairs , but all the toys were put away and the upstairs carpet was vacuumed despite a small pile of rocks I 'd collected and left in the middle of it . I put away groceries , leaving dinner parts conspicuously on the counter . " I don 't know . What do you want to do ? " Mike asked . " I got steaks . We could have them tonight or we could go to the River Cafe , " I said . I could tell he didn 't want to go out . He could tell I didn 't want to cook . " I 'm tired . I don 't want to go anywhere , " Nick said . He was back to playing video games and didn 't see my visual cues . " I don 't know how to make bean salad , " Mike said , coming back into the kitchen and started putting in a load of dishes . " I 'll show Nick . The hardest part is opening the cans . " The thing I like about bean salad is that it 's so pretty . I use kidney beans , wax beans , canned carrots , butter beans , garbanzos , and green beans . Nick came into the long and narrow kitchen , not used to the ' kitchen dance ' that Mike and I have developed over the years . Mike whistled the theme song to Sesame Street as I helped Nick measure the rest of the ingredients . I was so sick of struggling with my favorite recipes when I moved away from home and grandma would say ' a pinch of this ' or my mother would say ' a little bit of that . ' That 's how I cook most of the time now myself , but it would be nice for Nick to know general amounts for his favorites when he gets to that point . Nick added some red wine vinegar , olive oil , sugar , oregano , and basil and we were set . He used all the basil and I actually got him to put it on the white board grocery list . The crunch of a little chopped onion would have been nice in the bean salad , but Mike can 't eat onions . Then , the three of us stood around the bowl and tasted . Mike scooped some up in a big bowl and went into the living room to eat it while the steaks finished on the grill . " This will taste better tomorrow , " he said with beans in his mouth , " if there 's any of it left . " So , I 'm about to sit down to a dinner I only had a little to do with making . It 's beautiful food . I 'm always happier when my food is colorful . I 'm not sure what 's going on with me these days . It feels like I 'm a little bit done with the crabbiness of menopause or something . Life has turned into this peaceful groove and I 'd like to stay stuck in it . Thank you for listening , jb When I carried him inside , Seth felt like a fleece jacket just out of the dryer . Somehow I 've spent the last few afternoons on the back deck at my little table and somehow , the whole family has come out to be with me . Teddy whined at the door until I let him out , but he ran off , so I got him back , then chained him up to his run . He didn 't seem to mind , but groaned just a little when he got bored just lying on the deck next to me in the sun with his new yellow dog toy . His biggest mode of expression is through his groans . He 's groaning now . Then , Nick came outside to do homework and brought Seth out in his harness , which he 'd put on him upside down . Seth was ecstatic , sitting at the edge of the deck , looking at bugs , tail twitching in excitement . We can 't let him off the lead because of the busy road we live by , but this is a pretty good compromise . When Mike got home , he came outside and sat with me for a while , telling me a story about how he had to separate the expenses for just two people at a team pizza party picnic because , technically , they belonged in another group . Then , he went inside to play video games . The deck shields me from television noise . Nick finished his homework and headed inside to play on the TV too , but before he left , he got Seth a blanket and lined a chair with it . When Seth got bored with the bugs , he settled down in the sun in his cosy bed and looked up at me , now and then , with sleepy yellow eyes . His eyes change color , from green to gray , but in the sunshine , they 're yellow , like the newest leaves on the trees in spring . Meanwhile , I read my book , propped up my feet in the sun , doodled in my notebook , ate a large salad , and drank a frosty Perrier flavored with lime , and conveniently forgot stuff I should be doing but wasn 't . What a good life , huh ? I 'm not sure he appreciated that . I think he liked being the temperature of jeans warm from the dryer . At least I didn 't have to worry about the rivets . Thank you for listening , jb I don 't know what I 'm about to say . Let 's just say , I haven 't figured out what is important about my day amid the tangle of everyday events . I may not really remember the events of the day anyway , so all of this is fiction . I 've told you that before , haven 't I , that it 's all fiction . It ended up being true . Just ask David McRaney . I 'm nearly finished reading his book , ' You Are Not So Smart . ' It turns out that this guy also has a blog of interesting psychological studies about how your brain can be tricked . I love this stuff . Still , when I looked at today 's installation , the poor guy has a photo of the way a tornado ripped the roof off his house . That sucks , doesn 't it ? I 've never lost my home , but it 's got to be an incredible jolt . Now , think about it . David McRaney writes a book about how we plebs , all of us , think our memories are great but in fact , they are full of holes . We can watch a video with a man in a gorilla suit running through it and miss it if we 're given an assignment to do at the same time . We might even miss an entire change of person in front of us if we 're focused on some task at hand . Right ? Then he posts a photo of a homey wall with a photo on it yet the roof is missing . Is there a more apt metaphor for his blog than that ? So , here 's what I want you to do . Go visit his blog . Buy his book . See , he 's going to need it to put the roof back onto your memory , I mean , his house . Really , he could use your support . Thank you for listening , jb I 'm sitting here in my living room in front of the computer . There are four boys behind me playing a violent video game . I put a tray of veggies out with dip , cheese , crackers , and strawberries . They aren 't eating much . I 've been sitting here quietly for long enough that they don 't seem to think I can hear them . If I were hosting four girls , they 'd be in the bedroom , trying on clothes , sneaking more makeup than they should wear , listening to music , and giggling . The only thing these boys are doing from that list is the giggling . Never mind getting ready for the dance . The dance is nearly irrelevant . It 's a party right here and right now . " That 's for lunch . That 's for dinner . Who 's she going to eat next ? " To be honest , I can 't type fast enough to catch everything they 're saying or even who 's saying it . They 're laughing themselves silly . " I 'm going to just put this knife in your stomach . Can you hold it for a second ? " They are yelling at each other and at the TV . This stuff is not funny . It 's really not if you listen to their literal words . The problem with being invisible in the room is that I 'm not sure if I should step in and end it . Mike said not to worry . I worry . One of the boys wants to play a different game . Thank you ! Please , go outside and play . Please . Let your energy out by running around . Good . Nerf swords . Should I tell them to do all that outside ? Nah . I 'm going to assume it 'll go okay . Books will fall . Maybe a picture in a frame . It 's happened before . Not the end of the world . Now they 're fighting on the stairs . It 's how they always sword fight in the movies . It looks good , better than it looks here with a concrete floor at the bottom . Whew ! Now all that energy is downstairs when I threatened to take pictures of them . Nick is tired of me always clicking pictures . They might even end up outside . I hope so . I just heard a door slam . It 's Mike ! He has pizza ! It suddenly got very quiet with the pizza . Thank God for pizza ! So , Mike and I met with the man at the Eagles Lodge to discuss the pancake breakfast the Boy Scout troop is going to have while Mike is away at a Camporee . This guy looked like Bruce Willis . I liked him immediately . Mike introduced us and the two guys got down to brass tacks , talking about the menu . I interrupted them . " No idea , " he said . Then he jumped up out of his seat and we followed him into the kitchen . " We have plates here . Are you going to use these or bring in paper plates ? I think you should use paper plates . Makes everything easier . " I imagined how many times loaded plates could collapse before I switched to porcelain . I wondered how many porcelain plates I could break at one time . We followed Bruce back to sit at the table where my notebook lay with one entry - number of people . " How do we figure how many people we 'll end up serving ? " I tried again . I held up my pen , ready to get it down on paper . " Well , you could have fifty . You could have two hundred . It all depends . Better hope it doesn 't rain . You should go to Cost Plus for the bacon and the pancake mix . They 'd have paper plates too if you decide to go that way . " He jumped up again . " Yup cooks . This grill works pretty well , but once it gets heated up , it overheats . You 'll put your meat over here and your pancakes here . Just fiddle with this knob when as it starts to overheat . " I remembered working at a restaurant when I was in college . I generally avoided the grill . I stared at the thing now , imagining it glowing red . Only one time back then , I 'd been asked to clean the grill using salt and oil and I 'd leaned into it , lost my balance , and burned a line across my wrist . It took three years and about seventy - five questions about attempted suicide before that scar faded . I didn 't like this grill any better . " Sounds good , " Bruce said . If the two men were working together , we 'd be set . They talked about how to broadcast the news of the event , how they might draw in some tourists on the morning if they sent a couple of boys out with fliers . These two seemed to know their way around a pancake breakfast , but I was stuck on how many people would eat . Was it fifty or was it two hundred ? And there was the little matter of the overheating grill . I didn 't like the sound of that overheating grill . Did I tell you I almost burned down my house a couple of weeks ago . Should I be the one showing an adult how to use a grill that overheats ? It might be dangerous . I stopped staring at the grill and caught up with them at the baking trays I was supposed to use for the bacon . " Well , you should probably serve four good - sized pancakes , a slice of bacon cut in two and a sausage link . Your grocery list will be pretty simple - maple syrup , butter , coffee , orange juice , bacon , sausage , and pancake mix . " I zoned out while he talked about where we could get the best prices for the ingredients . I knew how much food to put on the damn plate . I just didn 't know how many people to buy food for , fifty or two hundred or more than that . Bruce got up and looked in the freezer to show Mike how they had a couple extra bags of sausages and quarts of orange juice concentrate . He looked like he was about to whip up some breakfast right then and there . Then two men moved on and stared into the refrigerator for a little while . " Strawberries and whipped cream would be good , " Bruce said . I don 't know how many times I asked Bruce how many people he thought would come to a pancake breakfast . I could never nail down an answer better than the first one he gave me , twenty or five hundred . Bruce closed the refrigerator door and we walked back to the table and sat . I stewed as he and Mike talked about a few other details , the key , someone to keep an eye on the place , the pool table . They laughed about boys in the kitchen using knives and boys at the grill playing with fire and boys being responsible with the money at the door . Plus , Bruce said that the kids were not allowed to use the pool table . They could play Foosball , but not pool . Okay , so now I have to put a chain around the cover to the pool table ? At this point , Mike and Bruce were laughing and talking about how the Eagles had run a karaoke night fundraiser there once and a couple of guys drank too much and started fighting outside on the sidewalk . I have to worry about having twenty - five extra pounds of bacon and six bags of pancake mix after the breakfast is over . I have to worry about the grill overheating and burning down the building . I have to keep teenaged boys from tearing the felt off the pool table . I have to keep from losing all of our money . And now I have to worry that somebody will start a fight and tear the place down ? I knew it wouldn 't work to tell him I couldn 't handle burning pancakes at the grill or boys sneaking a shot at the eight ball or men fighting on the sidewalk . I knew I should tell him that I have the capacity to drop ten porcelain plates at a time and to organize an event with plenty of plates but no silverware . I should have told Bruce that if I undercooked the bacon , everyone could end up catching intestinal parasites . |
Arthur and Cathy have spotted a few maids and servants huddling in groups whispering in the corners , maids were sobbing while the servants were mumbling . It was easy to avoid them and to their obvious surprise no guards appeared in their path . The dining hall was already empty , they all had hoped some food will still be out to grab as they hadn 't eaten for a while except for some fruits a long while before the dinner which never happened . Arthur ran across the hall keeping to the walls hiding in the shadows . He made it to the other side motioning for Cathy to go ahead . It took him a moment to realize she couldn 't see him and he whistled softly letting Cathy know it was okay to move and he could barely hear her running . A tap on his shoulder made him jump in his place almost screaming out holding himself in the last moment . Turning quickly he found himself facing a young small maid . She was petite , almost like Gwen , though she seemed a bit older . Red long hair was framing her delicate face . She was dressed with ragged clothing and her face seemed like she had been crying . " My name is Sarah " the young maid said . " You must be Arthur and Cathy ? " she asked smiling when the two nodded their heads . " The rumor of your arrival at the village was heard by everyone in the castle " she explained . " Well , I … " Sarah started to stammer but regained herself when she saw Arthur 's calm and smiling face . " Well , the word around the castle is the lady was poisoned " she started and Arthur nodded her to go on as he was already assuming that part . " The interesting part is that the Lord and the lady sat in the wrong seats " she continued . Arthur didn 't seem as convinced but he continued to play along . " Do you know of someone outside the castle who would have wanted to kill him ? " He asked . " Like an enemy ? " Sarah asked and continued when she saw Arthur nodded . " No , I can 't think of anyone , Lord Grey is a very kind man . " " Ha … Ha … Ha … " The guard started laughing . " Did you hear that ? " he shouted to his friends . " Someone should bring them some wine and pastries " he laughed and closed the small window and from inside the cell they could hear him walk away . They were both happy with the fact they had some sense of bringing food over in their previous night roaming , but even more than that they were happy Gwen and Peter weren 't discovered . Horses were his passion since he could remember himself . Being a stable boy only increased his love and now that he had one of his own he took care of this magnificent animal . Standing inside the stall beside his horse he was stroking it softly and whispering calming words to it . No one had left the castle yet but the rumors are that the gates will be opened tomorrow , he told them . The funeral was supposed to be held the next morning and people were supposed to be coming from all around the area to pay their last respects . " She was very kind and loved " he concluded , looking over his shoulder he panicked and ran off . This room was much bigger than all the previous rooms . A huge bed stood on the far side , a pink canopy was covering the bed . The fabric seemed like something the two never seen before . A big stand with silver jewelry was standing beside a big corner table with a small chair at its feet . Two small vials were standing on the table and a big wooden box with a crescent on it . " SHUT UP IN THERE " a fist banged on the door and the small window opened . " Lunch is served . " The guard said throwing four slices of stale bread into Cathy 's face . The room was smaller and almost unfurnished in comparison to the Dian 's room . The two rooms shared a door which they passed and before Peter 's eyes could adjust a short rope was thrown at him . " Tie your hands to the bed " Dian 's maid said to Peter . The maid looked from the door to Gwen who was sitting on the bed , her look went back and forth trying to assess the greater danger . Finally she sighed and ran after Sarah . " Sarah please stop " she yelled after her . It took Cathy and Arthur a while before they managed to reach the stairs making their way up . The rooms and corridors were full of maids and servants going back and forth . They slowly made their way up the floors losing their way in the process until reaching a familiar room . There was no way of getting inside or passing through the corridor either . Hiding pressed together in a small recess in the wall , the two were contemplating how to leave the corridor when a scream came . " Help me " Sarah appeared running straight towards the guards who quickly returned to full alert . Cathy joined Gwen when Dian 's maid started shouting . " She is trying to kill us like they killed the lady " pointing to Gwen and the knife beside her legs . She was a bit confused from the appearance of Cathy but it didn 't stop her long . " Her friend is here to help her . Please , you have to help us " she pleaded to the guards . " I think two girls are getting the better of your men " Lord Grey said with a smile . " Maybe they should be my guards . " He turned to assess the situation , then turning his look back to the guard . " Bill , what is happening here ? " " Bill can you please close the door ? " Arthur asked and Lord Grey nodded his head again as approval . Bill quickly complied , leaving the three guards outside . Ever since I was small I have immersed myself in fantasy worlds , both in books and movies . I can 't really define why I loved living in these other fantastical , dangerous worlds so much . The detail of the places , Middle Earth , The Wizarding World , just astounded me and I wanted to create my own world , just as detailed , just as believable but one that I had control over . I 've been writing almost as long as I 've been reading . Pretty much ever since I realised that books were written by people and did not spring ready formed from thin air , I knew that writing is what I wanted to do . The idea for The Prophecy of Three was born from a love of fantasy worlds and my fascination with myth and legend , particularly British legends like King Arthur . They were always grounded more in reality than Greek or Roman and there was always that question : maybe King Arthur was real … maybe the knights and the round table and Camelot did exist once . And so I decided to explore it , but use Merlin as a focal point and write the action in present day so I could intertwine aspects of these famous myths and legends with our modern world . The books that always fascinated me most were the ones that had two worlds existing alongside one another . Like The Wizarding World from Harry Potter and the world of gods and demigods in the Percy Jackson books . I wanted to be able to explore two worlds and what would happen if they met . And so , for four years now I have been planning , plotting , and writing the Prophecy of Three Quartet . It began as a leather bound notebook filled with characters , ideas , spells , the laws of the world and a whole load of other stuff . When I felt I had the world and plot fleshed out enough I began writing . The first book , The Keys of Time , took me about a year and a half to complete and now I 'm hard at work editing book 2 ( The Demon 's Hunt , due out at Christmas ) and writing book 3 . I have been living in this world , with my characters for so long that at times it 's hard to step away . For a long time I was the only one who knew about the books and now I 'm happy to be able to allow people to explore the world of the Prophecy and , hopefully , love it as much as I do . Ever since I realized that books did not spring from thin air and that people wrote them , I knew that I wanted to be a writer . Growing up on diet of fantasy and folklore and living in the fantasy worlds of Tolkien and Rowling it felt natural for me to write . The Prophecy of Three Quartet was born from my fascination with Arthurian legend and a love of stories that combine two worlds . If I 'm not writing , I 'm thinking about writing and if I 'm not thinking about writing I 'm reading . I am also a huge fan of Marvel and movies ( particularly anything directed by Steven Spielberg , Peter Jackson , Christopher Nolan and JJ Abrams ) . You can find my book on … Posted on October 5 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories A single horseman was making his way through the morning mist . He expected to reach his destination very soon . It was a cold morning but the rider had decided to get an early start , he had to reach his destination on time . He was a good servant and he wouldn 't let his lord down even if it meant less sleep at night and pressing his horse to the limit . He set out on his journey almost two days ago and without that darned mist he would have seen the village by now , he thought to himself . One house was towering over the rest when he finally reached his destination , entering a small village . He was told the inn was his destination and there was no doubt in his mind that this was his destination . He knew that in these small villages the inn was the biggest building around . John greeted the traveler at the door . John was a big friendly man and compared to the small man standing at the door he looked huge . The inn was warm and cozy and many travelers were seated at their tables eating their breakfast before going out on the road again . Folded neatly and sealed with a wax stamp , the parchment seemed very official . Arthur looked a little unsure should he open this , until he saw Dale 's look waiting for him to do so . Breaking the seal he opened the parchment slowly , unfolding the parchment , holding it in his hands . The four left the kitchen , entering the inn 's main hall , each one of them was carrying a short sword on his belt except for Gwen who carried a dagger , while a quiver and bow hung on their backs . Dale stood up . Looking again at the four he realized they were more than what he had thought . Dale took a deep breath and mounted his horse . Maybe his master knew what he was doing , he thought to himself . He kicked with both legs and the group was off , passing by the inn door where Merry was waving them off . Fortunate enough their travel was without strange occurrences and except for some travelers who passed them by looking at them suspiciously as they were a strange group . A huge turret was the first thing they had seen when they came out of the forest . Into view came a huge castle , not as big as the one they had seen in London but almost as big . The buildings were pearly white with a single turret in the middle , towering over the rest . Four more turrets were positioned in the four corners of the white strong stone built wall . Surrounding the castle was a village , bigger and as it seemed wealthier than their own village . The castle was surrounded with a big moat filled with water which separated the houses from the wall . A big gate was standing at the end of the road and a wooden draw bridge aloud travelers in and out of the castle . Two guards were standing at the sides of the entrance , fully armed and ready for battle . Arthur had seen four more guards armed with bows standing on top of the gate . The four followed Dale through the gate . Dale nodded to the guards and they had let the group pass without even looking at them twice . Dale slowly headed around the castle , allowing the four to take in their surrounding and admire the castle . The main hall was standing at the center of the courtyard . It was a very large building and the big turret was standing above the main hall with windows at different levels around the round turret . Two stable boys were already waiting for them at the entrance to the stable . They were not much younger than the four and were very surprised to see the guests Dale was escorting . Dismounting with a jump they handed over the reins to the boys . Dale had requested the boys to take good care of the horses , explaining these were Lord Grey 's special guests . The boys only nodded and ran to the stable . Arthur called one of the boys just before he disappeared into the stable and handed him two copper coins , remembering his friend Glen doing it previously on their journey . The rooms were huge . Each one held a big double bed , a large chest full of new clothes and a plate filled with fruit standing on a beautiful wooden table , a large window aloud them a view of the courtyard and the village outside the walls . This was one of the best places they have A small chubby short woman with a mole like face stood at the door . " This . . this things you call clothes are not acceptable for my mistress 's wedding " she gave Cathy a paralyzing look , " These were custom made , just put them on . I would start right now " she said and left the room . It didn 't take the four long to settle in their rooms as they did travel light . " What should we do ? " Gwen wondered sitting in the boys room on the ledge of the window , looking down at the village . Cathy frowned and turned away , leading the four to the hall . They were standing at the top of the flight of stairs looking down and then looking up to another flight of stairs . Gwen was the first to react and headed up the flight of stairs leading the rest of them to another maze of corridors and rooms . " How are you Arthur ? " Arthur heard when he popped his head through the doorstep of a big room . Looking inside he saw a big table standing at the end of the room . It was made of fine wood and gave the room a sense of prestige . Four chairs were surrounding the table , two from one side and two from the other . The room was finely decorated with draped windows , carpets , footstools , armchairs and a fireplace . Every piece in the room radiated of wealth . Both chairs on the far side of the room were occupied . Arthur recognized the man sitting in one of the chairs . Lord Grey was signaling for him to come over and take a sit in front of him . The woman in the second chair didn 't seem familiar to Arthur but he felt a need to comply with his host 's request . " You are a clever lad , probably you 've been asking yourself why I 've invited you to this wedding " Lord Grey took a deep breath . " I believe someone is trying to kill me " he said and Arthur eyes widened while Lord Grey 's wife wept silently , " I had this feeling for some time and the plot you have stopped in the archery competition signaled I was right . I also believe that someone tried to silence you a while ago . " " I believe this wedding is a good opportunity for someone to try again . I would like you and your friends to try and find out who is behind this " Lord Grey looked at Arthur intensively . " I know I 'm putting a lot of pressure on you but I believe I can trust you without a doubt . " Other than themselves Arthur saw four couples seated at the long table . The center plates were filled with hot steaming food and Gwen was doing her best to stop Peter from bouncing of his chair . At the head of the table were standing two large decorated seats still empty , and beside them stood two chairs which were also empty . At that moment two figures came into the room which the four quickly recognized . They were walking confidently towards the two empty chairs close to the head of the table . The two were Don and his wife to be Dian , Lord Grey 's daughter . The two sat down with a look of dismay at the others , their eyes finally landing on the four clearly recognizing them and remembering where they had previously met . Looking around the room Arthur managed to see the look of shock spreading on everyone 's face . From the corner of his eye he saw Dian looking at Don questioning . Don pointed towards the head of the table and then Arthur 's field of vision was blocked . Everything happened fast they couldn 't defend themselves as their weapons were stored carefully in their rooms upstairs . They were now being dragged into a cell after going down a flight of stairs . " Please , we didn 't do anything " Gwen pleaded but the guards pretended they didn 't even hear her . Posted on September 13 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories Welcome to the autumn book tour blog . Autumn in England signals the end of summer and a slow movement towards winter as the temperature drops and the nights get longer and darker . With less sunshine and a lost summer it 's also the time many authors get their heads down and historically write more than during any other season . But autumn in England is ' fall ' in America and ' spring ' in South Africa so you 're invited to discover how different authors approach this time of the year . Come and meet some of my friends who are writers who either have recently published works or are working on books that are likely to be available at the end of this wonderful season . Indeed , they 've all been asked the same questions as they introduce themselves and their work . So , let 's hear what they have to say . First up is Silver Wolf But after I finish jumping up and down , I would buy a small house for me and my wife instead of living in a rented house . After that I would probably quit my day job and focus on my writing . I probably would use part of the money to help my brother and sisters . A . I haven 't published yet , I 'm doing a third edit run on my novel , but at the same time I 'm writing a short stories blog with the same characters . These are short adventures which happen between the books in the series . About nine stories were already posted and can be found here : A . My novel has four lead characters , this are a group of friends who gathered together in the time of trouble . Of course there is the main character which is the young King Arthur , long before he becomes a king . This is his journey to greatness with his young knights as companions . Thank you . Can I invite you to meet my friends in this wonderful world of writing ? Just click on their names and you 'll find yourself reading a different set of answers to the same questions . Please support my friends and fellow authors by visiting their sites and checking out their contribution . Thank you for joining me on my blog tour . Almost a head shorter than Peter , Arthur was looking at the tent suspiciously . He didn 't like fortunetellers . In fact he had some bad experience with one in the previous summer . The merchant , a stocky bald chubby man , was starting to realize they weren 't going to cave to his prices and was about to sell them the pouch for half his asking price when a short cry sounded and a man came running out of the fortuneteller 's tent knocking Peter over , falling on top of him , quickly bouncing back to his feet . " The witch killed again " the merchant beside Cathy shouted . The man kept running towards the girls although it seemed he wasn 't seeing them at all . Cathy grabbed Gwen and swung her out of the way just in time for the man to hit the stand behind them at full speed , spreading the merchandise all over the ground . A woman came out of the tent . She had long black hair and olive like skin , her face was delicate but now she was scared to death . " The witch killed again " the merchant shouted again pointing towards the woman standing beside Arthur and Peter . Grabbing her hand Arthur led the fortuneteller back into the tent , followed by Peter who kept looking at the crowd who slowly made their way towards them . The tent was warm and comfortable from the inside . It held a couple of chairs , a small table which seemed like they were mended lately and a few crates in one of the corners . The tent had a second opening from the other side which Arthur immediately ran to check out only to see the crowd heading towards it as well . Peter went to work while Arthur tied the flaps of the tent closing it shut . " Do you have anything you need to take with you ? " Arthur asked . Remaining unnoticed the three managed to cut their way through three different tents before they were at the end of the line . Arthur peeked behind the tent towards the enraged crowd . Someone picked up a torch and threw it towards the fortuneteller 's tent which caught fire quickly . " It 's a good time to run " Arthur said , " Before the whole place catches fire . Aim for the trees . " the three took off not a moment later . Arthur looked back just in time to see the fortuneteller slip and fall on the ground . He immediately ran to her , grabbing her by the arm . Her leg was hurt and she had trouble standing up . A teenage boy was running towards them . He was much faster than the crowd behind him and stood alone a few feet from them , holding a rock in his hand , still not sure what to do . " Yes , you see , I 'm a Gypsy " she explained , " There are people who feel we don 't belong " she sighed . " This started a few weeks ago when we were up north . A man came to my tent a bit late and asked me to tell him his future . I 've asked him to come over in the morning as I was very tired but I should have known it wouldn 't help . He insisted it had to be then . I looked at the cards and got scared , I was looking at a dead man walking . He didn 't have much time to live and I was supposed to tell him that " Ronda paused for a moment . " How can you tell a man he will die soon ? " she asked them and continued without waiting for an answer . " I told him his future is vague and can 't see through the mist . He didn 't believe me , I sensed it . He got angry , broke my table and chairs leaving my tent in a total mess , not to mention my payment of course . Slowly getting up Ronda nodded her head . Putting her arms around the boys , they slowly lead her through the woods . Her left ankle had swollen into twice its original size and her face twisted in pain each time she stepped on it . Ronda took a deep breath . " This man died that same night " she said , " some of the merchants came to my tent , woke me up and wanted to kill me on the spot . Apparently before he died he told someone that if something happened to him I was to blame " she sighed . " I fled from my tent , barely escaping them . A couple of merchants helped me and stopped them . " " I don 't know , I went to take a cloak from my crate when I heard some whispers and a cry . When I turned I spotted a man leaving the tent from the second opening and by the time I ran outside after him he was already gone . When I returned to the tent it was already empty and that was when I came out and met you two . " " Who do you think could have done this ? " Arthur asked , " Could this have been a coincidence ? " He tried although he knew it probably wasn 't . The sun was already setting when they finally saw the inn . They were still keeping to the woods when they noticed that a crowd had formed in front of the inn . It appeared to them that someone had tipped the crowd where they lived . They could see John standing in front of the inn , trying to calm them down calling to them in his low , loud but calm voice . " I … I … I don 't have my cards here " she said , " they were probably burned in the fire " she was more confused than everyone else . " It is the best time " he answered . " Keep an eye on us as close as you can , be ready to jump in . " He continued , letting her plan the rest . Before leaving the tent Arthur covered himself , concealing his short sword under the cloak . He then followed Ronda outside and although it had seemed strange to her , they walked in the bazaar as if they weren 't hiding at all . Arthur looked like he wanted to be seen . Where once stood a nice tent now was only darkness and emptiness . Ronda looked around in the darkness and then towards Arthur . " There is nothing left " she whispered . He raised his dagger again , this time pointing it straight to Arthur 's heart . Arthur fumbled for his sword but he wasn 't fast enough to draw it . His attacker looked him in the eyes for the first time , holding the dagger straight . Arthur felt the tip of the dagger on his chest . " I 'm sorry " he whispered again , pinning Arthur down with his body . " Why are you doing this ? " Arthur asked and the man started limping away . He didn 't get far when Cathy tackled him from behind the closest tent , slamming him to the ground . Kicking the dagger out of his reach , Peter ensured he was harmless . " Leave him alone " came a shout from the crowd . Arthur turned to see who it was but the crowd only murmured in disapproval . Posted on August 25 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories Four horses were walking slowly on the road , their riders walking alongside them enjoying the warm afternoon sun . After a few days of rain the four friends had rode west on an errand for Merry the inn keeper . She was running out of spices and the market was empty for a couple of weeks as merchants were reluctant to travel at this weather to a small village like their own . The two had stopped a few feet short of the four , panting breathless and holding their side . From up close the two looked very much alike , two sisters was probably the best definition . They were about the same age at fifteen years old , very slim and tall , a bit taller than Cathy but still shorter than Peter . One of the two had a bright red long hair while the other had a bright blond hair almost white . The six of them started riding back the same road they just passed . Ann was riding behind Peter while Maggi was riding with Cathy . They were making good time but the sun was setting very fast . Maggi had pointed them into a fork in the road which they haven 't noticed on the way over . It was a small path leading deep into the woods . " This is the direction to their house " she said to Cathy and the rest have followed behind her . This time it was Cathy 's turn to nod . " I have seen the spider webs on the door as well " She said . " What do you … " From the inside the cabin didn 't look much better than from the outside . There were two rooms , a small fire place which looked like it hadn 't been lit in a while , and dust and spider webs every which way they looked . The inner room was small without any windows and the only furniture were a few blankets which were spread on the floor . " I need to check something " Arthur said . They walked a full circle around the cabin and Arthur headed back to their horses . Knowing Gwen was much faster than him , he asked her : " Can you take our weapons and put them at the back right corner of the house in the woods ? " From the corner of his eye he could see her running with both their equipment . Though it was heavy on her small slender body she was managing it very well . In the meantime Arthur unpacked food that Merry had packed for their day journey . There wasn 't enough but it was as much as they were going to get . Ann started to escort the four to the inner room while Maggi cleared their remaining food . From the corner of his eye Arthur saw Maggi head for the window on the far corner . He knew he had to act now . " But we don 't have … " Peter started to call after them , only to be interrupted by an elbow in his ribs . Cathy was looking at him with her eyes wide open . " Shut up " She whispered harshly , making Peter look at her wide eyed while rubbing his side . When they left the cabin , the first thing they noticed was their missing horses . Hearing the noise , from the cabin the two increased their pace although still aiming for stealth as well . They weren 't sure where will their attackers be . Quickly grabbing their weapons the two settled into a position , hidden between the darkness of the trees but still in clear view of the cabin door . Maggi sprinted out of the cabin heading in the opposite direction . It didn 't take long before she returned with two big men carrying long swords and the three stood in front of the cabin looking around . Suddenly they could see smoke under the door . " That will bring the other two over " a man laughed from the other side . " Get out " he shouted to Ann . Breathing out the two released their arrows . Gwen 's arrow found its target hitting the man in his thigh , dropping him to the floor . Arthur 's arrow missed the man who moved and scraped Maggi 's arm , making her cry in pain and surprise . Gwen 's line of shot was blocked with Arthur 's figure in front of her . Arthur was shouting out loud trying to get their attention . Seeing him with his sword drawn Ann ran away screaming and Maggi was lying on the floor beside the injured man . Arthur was on his back still shocked when he saw the man smiling . He raised his sword and was about to swing at Arthur . A short buzzing sound followed by a cry of pain and the man dropped to the ground . An arrow was sticking out of his buttocks . Taking advantage of these turn of events , Arthur slammed the hilt of his sword into Maggi 's stomach , doubling her into a small twisted shape . Quickly heading for the cabin he found it almost impossible to see inside , the heat was unbearable . Arthur raised his blouse to his mouth and ran inside , covering himself with his cape . Suddenly everything changed . Gwen 's hand moved quickly grabbing a dagger on her captive 's belt and swiftly stabbing it backwards into his calves . The man screamed in pain but his surprise was enough for Gwen to move away from his reach . Seeing that Cathy roll on the ground coming up standing with Arthur 's sword in hand . Before her attacker could recover she swung fast , making a severe cut on his stomach . Peter rushed from the side and kicked him to the ground , grabbing his sword before he could react . " We are fine , nothing that some water wouldn 't clear " Cathy assured him . " A small group of guards saw the fire from the road and headed over . They took Maggi and her friends . " Posted on August 12 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories Breathing in and out , he was trying to steady his hand keeping his target in front of him . At three hundred paces he could barely see the center but he could visualize it in his mind . This was his last arrow . He had to make the shot , everyone were looking . His friends were counting on him to make it . Peter took another breath , letting out the air slowly , releasing the arrow when his lungs were empty . The arrow flew straight hitting the target dead center . The crowd cheered clapping their hands , Gwen , Cathy and Arthur jumped on Peter hugging him franticly . This was his last shot of the day . He had beaten all of his competitors today , over sixty archers including his best friends all using the same English longbow . This shot secured him a place in the semifinal round tomorrow . Peter offered his hand and the archer took it shaking it harder than expected . Peter looked at the man 's face only managing to see his eyes . Peter sensed sadness and acceptance but not the kind coming from losing a tournament . " There are two more " The archer said still shaking Peter 's hand . Throwing a look back towards the inn he spotted a man passing by . He threw his hands up and shouted , trying to get the man 's attention . Acknowledging the noise the man started towards Arthur and Cathy who was calming herself down slowly . " What is the matter ? " The man asked . He was a chubby man with a big bold spot in the middle of his black hair . Arthur now recognized him as one of the official referees in the tournament . She rubbed her chin with her open palm . " I think … I think I saw him with two more guys . " She shifted her weight from one leg to the other . " Well if there is nothing else " she looked annoyed for the waste of her time . The man stopped in his place causing the two to stop to avoid hitting him , " Leave me alone " he said raising the dagger again . " I would leave it alone as well if I were you . " They both heard the stress in his voice . After saying that he turned , picking up the pace and left the two standing there . A short man with a full brown beard and big hands nodded his head in acceptance . " I 'm Liam , I was a bowman in the army for ten years " he said . " I was shooting with a longbow before I could run . " He let himself smile a bit . Unlike their own village , this one was much bigger . The four came here for the archery competition which was held once a year close to the end of the winter , holding a big prize money to the first three places . Arthur and his friends mainly went for the fun and to support Peter who was the best archer in the group . The competition was held by Lord Grey which they met a few weeks earlier and he had extended an invite to the group . Liam led the two into a small inn . Looking for a table he spotted one in the far corner and hurried towards it , waiving the inn keeper away . The inn was almost full like the one they left a short while ago . The four met back in front of the inn , everyone looked at Arthur for guidance . He was looking around at the open field where the archery competition was held . The sun was already at the horizon , there wasn 't a lot of light left . " We know what is a shooting distance for a longbow . We also know roughly where it came from " Arthur explained . " So let 's look for a clue where the archer was . " Walking slowly towards the field Peter felt far worse than the previous morning when he was confident in his skill . It wasn 't only that he was facing the best archers out of almost two hundred which started the competition . It was mainly the knowledge that he had to win this competition as a lot more than the honor held in the balance . He wondered what have happened to his friends . He haven 't heard of them for so long . It was very hard for him not knowing what was going on and at the same time being separated from all of them for so long . He tried to recall when was the last time such a thing had happened and came to a conclusion it was more than half a year earlier , the night before Arthur first came to the village . Something was wrong they thought . There was no sign of an archer or anyone else for that matter . They woke up very early before day break and headed for the woods in the cover of darkness carrying their swords bows and quivers with them . No one was out there when they reached their destination . They had maintained a shift routine staying close by keeping an eye on the edge of the woods . A short while after daybreak the three rose from their places stretching their arms and legs . The village was coming to life before their eyes . People were leaving their houses and starting their daily routines . There was still time till the archery competition would start and the three were using the time to look for the vantage points in the area . Peter was ready to shoot his final shot in the semifinals and there was still no sign of his friends . He kept looking towards the woods between shots . Thankfully his competitors were a far more out of focus than he was and he managed to secure his place in the final with another archer . He had kept an eye on Liam and the second archer which made it to the finals as well . His final shot missed the center circle by a bit but Peter didn 't really care . He walked around looking at the woods . How it could be they hadn 't contacted him yet he thought . He was thinking the worst had already happened , they were all already dead . They could see Lord Grey sitting in the crowd now , waiting for the final three competitors to take their shots . Peter was one of the three while Liam looked like he was about to win . Peter was trailing behind but no one could have blamed him at that point . Peter was looking at Liam who was standing in front of him , he was holding the bow in his hand and his right hand was twitching , something was happening in his mind . " Please don 't do it " Peter whispered . Liam didn 't answer , only took long breath in and out . " Please " Peter pleaded again . Lord Grey was now twenty steps away . It was now or never Arthur realized . He could see that Liam wasn 't going to shoot Lord Grey but suddenly the archers beside them started to talk . John stepped to the big oak door opening it just before the big young man on the other side banged his fist on the door again . The man quickly moved to the side in order to let a pretty young maiden to pass . Seeing her all soaked from the rain John moved aside letting her and her companion to enter the inn . Instead of getting an answer the maiden started crying . Although being a very big man , John always had a big heart and a soft spot for a crying woman . Hurrying away to the kitchen he left the two near the fire place . Returning with two steaming cups of tea , he found the young man consoling the maiden who rested her head on his shoulder . She still had a few tears on her cheeks but seemed calmer now . " Thank you " the maiden said slowly . " This is Don and I 'm Alexandra , but my friends call me Alex " she continued . " My name is John " he said with a smile . " Now , do you want a room for the night , or maybe something to eat ? " John asked . " No … but … you don 't understand " Alex stammered . " He is a child " Alex looked shocked . " This is Arthur " Merry agreed with John . " Can you tell me what is the problem ? " Arthur asked again softly , trying to get Alex 's attention . " Maybe we can help " he continued , seeing Alex looking up at him . Alex shook her head and turned towards the group who already took seats around the table facing her . " I 'm a maid for the lord 's grey daughter " she said , looking at them searching for an acknowledgement . Arthur nodded . They have heard about him , lord Grey had a keep a day and a half ride to the west . " Don is a guard at the keep and we are about to be wed " Alex explained " Alex ! … " Don shouted " I 'm leaving , you can stay if you want to " with that Don closed the door behind him . " Don , please " Alex called . She looked at the group " I … . I have to … " They all nodded and she hurried after him . After she took a long sip from her cup , Arthur hoped she was ready to start talking again . " What happened ? " Arthur asked " What brought you here ? " Alex took a deep breath . " The Lord 's daughter Dian who I serve is riding with her father the lord , they are sleeping at an inn not so far from here . " She stopped to take another sip and continued . " I was called to her room this afternoon … " Alex turned to Peter " What ? " " Where was I … ? Ohhh … Dian called me to her room to tell me she knows I stole her golden trinket and I have till day break to return it , else she will have me killed " Alex started pulling he nose , " I never stole anything I swear , I heard about Arthur and asked Don to help me find you . He didn 't want to come but he finally agreed . Now he is gone and Dian will have me killed " with that Alex started crying again . Leading the way towards the inn Peter hurried and already started untying their horses making them ready for travel . The rain didn 't stop but at least it settled to a bare able drip . Alex joined Peter on the back of his horse . Peter was happy to be joined by a pretty maiden and always happy to show off his riding skills . The inn was alive , no one paid attention to the two travelers coming inside from the rain . The hall was almost twice the size they knew so well from their village , there were a lot of tables and chairs all around and a big fire place was keeping everyone warm . A small chubby bold man came up quick to the two and introduced himself as the inn owner , he was a bit surprised when they told him they were travelling alone , but after he made sure they had money to pay he escorted them to one of the tables near the door . Arthur tried to point towards a table at the far end but the inn owner insisted so they finally sat down . The stable was fairly big from Peter 's point of view , but as they approached he noted the place was a bit neglected . As a former stable boy he could easily spot the signs , the heavy smell was a major one . After tying their horses to a tree they entered the stable to find it packed full , two horses were even tied outside the stalls . " This is Don 's horse " Alex pointed to a nearby stall . The horse was very strong and fit , didn 't seem fit for a low ranked guard . " Don got the horse from Dian a few weeks ago " Alex said when Peter looked at her quizzically . Peter nodded . " You should stay outside " he said to Alex , she turned and walked outside right in time when a sleepy stable boy came out of a stall yawning . " Thieves ? " he looked shocked " No , we don 't have that here . " Then his eyes widened . " Well we had a problem today , but let me reassure you , the maid that stole the trinket from one our guests was caught and she will be taken care of " " Can I help you ? " The stable boy asked when he saw Peter and Gwen . He was a little older than the two , shorter than Peter with red hair and freckles all over his face . Taking it as an approval Peter took a step closer . " Did you hear about the trinket ? " Peter asked . The boy nodded . " The maid stole it " he added . A few moments later the voices of a couple of men and the stable boy were followed by close by footsteps . " They were here a moment ago . " Peter heard him from his hiding place , frowning at the lack of loyalty . Stall doors were opening fast from either side of the path . His stall was next , Peter realized . He was already pulling his sword slowly . He won 't be caught easily , he thought . Arthur turned , seeing the two resting their hands on the hilt of their swords . Behind them he could see the inn keeper standing , talking to a man who he realized was Don . A woman was sitting with Don and the two were getting up . " Well , what do we have here ? " Dian asked walking towards the two standing by the window . " What do you want from us ? " Cathy asked , turning the attention of the two towards her . " Well … " Dian started but stopped when a crash came from outside their window from below . " I 'm sorry " Arthur mumbled " I didn 't see it " " I know " said a man from the doorstep , a tall thin grey haired man with a well - kept beard . " Mind I ask ? What is going on ? " While he was talking three guards showed up from behind . " Sir , we are trying to help find the missing trinket . Our friend here is accused of stealing " Arthur pointed to Alex who was still on the ground . " We are only trying to return it to your daughter 's position " " Yes , it 's a pity about the maid . She was a good maid " he sighed . " Very well , where do you think it is ? " " It can 't be " Dian puffed a breath of air . " Are you calling me a liar ? " She called to Gwen . " Calm down " Lord Grey turned to Arthur . " Because I like you lads , I 'm willing to let the guards look for it . " The group didn 't wait any longer and headed to their horses . Arthur turned back when he was on the steps . He saw Lord Grey who nodded his head with a smile towards him . " I put it there " Gwen laughed . " I 've found it in the saddle bag when we hid in the stable . " " You should be thankful you aren 't marrying Don " Merry called . " A girl like you deserves better . " " We will " He promised " We 'd better " He mumbled to himself . They were walking on foot from sunrise and small snowflakes started to fall on them a few moments ago . His little brother wasn 't complaining yet , but he wouldn 't blame him if he would . " Well Arthur … " John pondered for a moment and then turned towards a twelve years old blond who passed behind him , " Cathy , can you please come here for a moment ? " John called . " Well … We know where to start " Arthur said . The four turned to their horses unpacking their short swords and bows they received the previous summer from their friend Glen the traveling blacksmith . The group split into pairs walking within a shouting distance from the other pairs . . Arthur wanted Cathy to join him but the looks on Peter 's face made him change his mind . Gwen took Andy with her and headed first into the forest Snaps of wood under their weight and the whistle of the wind all they could hear , the thought of retreating to the sheltered house seemed more and more appealing with every moment that passed . Arthur wanted to continue just a bit more . He could see a hill not far away , they 'll reach it and look around . The cabin disappeared from their view and so did the pair below , Peter and Arthur hurried making their way through between the trees . Arthur tried to spot Gwen between the branches and for a moment saw her , a man was towering over her with a sword in his hand . Arthur lost his footing and rolled on the snow , bumping into bushes on the way down . Running towards the cabin after seeing Gwen been carried inside by a stranger followed by her Dave 's little brother , Cathy spotted two figures sliding involuntary down the slope on the far side of the cabin between the trees . It was a harder approach from there but they were concealed from view for a longer time this way . Cathy couldn 't persuade her partner to try a safer approach once he saw his brother taken as well and they were now following the same route as Gwen took . Two men appeared each turning in a different direction towards the Cathy and the older brother . The one closest to Arthur waited near the corner hiding out of Cathy 's sight . There was no sign of Gwen and Arthur slowly approached the cabin stepping from one tree to another with Peter on his heels . Arthur looked outside the window seeing one of the men approaching the two outside , while Cathy was aiming her bow at him . The older brother was yelling and Arthur could see this wasn 't going to be solved peacefully . They edged around the door coming behind the second man . He was holding a club in his hand ready to swing . The boys worked together preparing to attack . Peter took a step forward , faking an attack . The man took the bait and sent a blow towards Peter leaving himself exposed to a hard blow with the dull side of Arthur 's sword to the back of his head sending him down almost taking Peter on the way down . Looking around Peter saw he was the only one standing , furiously charging at Arthur 's attacker , raining easily blocked blows on him . The man took a few steps back , standing only a few steps from the cabin entrance , he readied himself for an attack his sword was raised high . He started forward when a club hit his legs and he dropped raising his head only to see Peter pointing his sword at his throat while Gwen was ready to swing her club at him again . |
Arthur and Cathy have spotted a few maids and servants huddling in groups whispering in the corners , maids were sobbing while the servants were mumbling . It was easy to avoid them and to their obvious surprise no guards appeared in their path . The dining hall was already empty , they all had hoped some food will still be out to grab as they hadn 't eaten for a while except for some fruits a long while before the dinner which never happened . Arthur ran across the hall keeping to the walls hiding in the shadows . He made it to the other side motioning for Cathy to go ahead . It took him a moment to realize she couldn 't see him and he whistled softly letting Cathy know it was okay to move and he could barely hear her running . A tap on his shoulder made him jump in his place almost screaming out holding himself in the last moment . Turning quickly he found himself facing a young small maid . She was petite , almost like Gwen , though she seemed a bit older . Red long hair was framing her delicate face . She was dressed with ragged clothing and her face seemed like she had been crying . " My name is Sarah " the young maid said . " You must be Arthur and Cathy ? " she asked smiling when the two nodded their heads . " The rumor of your arrival at the village was heard by everyone in the castle " she explained . " Well , I … " Sarah started to stammer but regained herself when she saw Arthur 's calm and smiling face . " Well , the word around the castle is the lady was poisoned " she started and Arthur nodded her to go on as he was already assuming that part . " The interesting part is that the Lord and the lady sat in the wrong seats " she continued . Arthur didn 't seem as convinced but he continued to play along . " Do you know of someone outside the castle who would have wanted to kill him ? " He asked . " Like an enemy ? " Sarah asked and continued when she saw Arthur nodded . " No , I can 't think of anyone , Lord Grey is a very kind man . " " Ha … Ha … Ha … " The guard started laughing . " Did you hear that ? " he shouted to his friends . " Someone should bring them some wine and pastries " he laughed and closed the small window and from inside the cell they could hear him walk away . They were both happy with the fact they had some sense of bringing food over in their previous night roaming , but even more than that they were happy Gwen and Peter weren 't discovered . Horses were his passion since he could remember himself . Being a stable boy only increased his love and now that he had one of his own he took care of this magnificent animal . Standing inside the stall beside his horse he was stroking it softly and whispering calming words to it . No one had left the castle yet but the rumors are that the gates will be opened tomorrow , he told them . The funeral was supposed to be held the next morning and people were supposed to be coming from all around the area to pay their last respects . " She was very kind and loved " he concluded , looking over his shoulder he panicked and ran off . This room was much bigger than all the previous rooms . A huge bed stood on the far side , a pink canopy was covering the bed . The fabric seemed like something the two never seen before . A big stand with silver jewelry was standing beside a big corner table with a small chair at its feet . Two small vials were standing on the table and a big wooden box with a crescent on it . " SHUT UP IN THERE " a fist banged on the door and the small window opened . " Lunch is served . " The guard said throwing four slices of stale bread into Cathy 's face . The room was smaller and almost unfurnished in comparison to the Dian 's room . The two rooms shared a door which they passed and before Peter 's eyes could adjust a short rope was thrown at him . " Tie your hands to the bed " Dian 's maid said to Peter . The maid looked from the door to Gwen who was sitting on the bed , her look went back and forth trying to assess the greater danger . Finally she sighed and ran after Sarah . " Sarah please stop " she yelled after her . It took Cathy and Arthur a while before they managed to reach the stairs making their way up . The rooms and corridors were full of maids and servants going back and forth . They slowly made their way up the floors losing their way in the process until reaching a familiar room . There was no way of getting inside or passing through the corridor either . Hiding pressed together in a small recess in the wall , the two were contemplating how to leave the corridor when a scream came . " Help me " Sarah appeared running straight towards the guards who quickly returned to full alert . Cathy joined Gwen when Dian 's maid started shouting . " She is trying to kill us like they killed the lady " pointing to Gwen and the knife beside her legs . She was a bit confused from the appearance of Cathy but it didn 't stop her long . " Her friend is here to help her . Please , you have to help us " she pleaded to the guards . " I think two girls are getting the better of your men " Lord Grey said with a smile . " Maybe they should be my guards . " He turned to assess the situation , then turning his look back to the guard . " Bill , what is happening here ? " " Bill can you please close the door ? " Arthur asked and Lord Grey nodded his head again as approval . Bill quickly complied , leaving the three guards outside . Ever since I was small I have immersed myself in fantasy worlds , both in books and movies . I can 't really define why I loved living in these other fantastical , dangerous worlds so much . The detail of the places , Middle Earth , The Wizarding World , just astounded me and I wanted to create my own world , just as detailed , just as believable but one that I had control over . I 've been writing almost as long as I 've been reading . Pretty much ever since I realised that books were written by people and did not spring ready formed from thin air , I knew that writing is what I wanted to do . The idea for The Prophecy of Three was born from a love of fantasy worlds and my fascination with myth and legend , particularly British legends like King Arthur . They were always grounded more in reality than Greek or Roman and there was always that question : maybe King Arthur was real … maybe the knights and the round table and Camelot did exist once . And so I decided to explore it , but use Merlin as a focal point and write the action in present day so I could intertwine aspects of these famous myths and legends with our modern world . The books that always fascinated me most were the ones that had two worlds existing alongside one another . Like The Wizarding World from Harry Potter and the world of gods and demigods in the Percy Jackson books . I wanted to be able to explore two worlds and what would happen if they met . And so , for four years now I have been planning , plotting , and writing the Prophecy of Three Quartet . It began as a leather bound notebook filled with characters , ideas , spells , the laws of the world and a whole load of other stuff . When I felt I had the world and plot fleshed out enough I began writing . The first book , The Keys of Time , took me about a year and a half to complete and now I 'm hard at work editing book 2 ( The Demon 's Hunt , due out at Christmas ) and writing book 3 . I have been living in this world , with my characters for so long that at times it 's hard to step away . For a long time I was the only one who knew about the books and now I 'm happy to be able to allow people to explore the world of the Prophecy and , hopefully , love it as much as I do . Ever since I realized that books did not spring from thin air and that people wrote them , I knew that I wanted to be a writer . Growing up on diet of fantasy and folklore and living in the fantasy worlds of Tolkien and Rowling it felt natural for me to write . The Prophecy of Three Quartet was born from my fascination with Arthurian legend and a love of stories that combine two worlds . If I 'm not writing , I 'm thinking about writing and if I 'm not thinking about writing I 'm reading . I am also a huge fan of Marvel and movies ( particularly anything directed by Steven Spielberg , Peter Jackson , Christopher Nolan and JJ Abrams ) . You can find my book on … Posted on October 5 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories A single horseman was making his way through the morning mist . He expected to reach his destination very soon . It was a cold morning but the rider had decided to get an early start , he had to reach his destination on time . He was a good servant and he wouldn 't let his lord down even if it meant less sleep at night and pressing his horse to the limit . He set out on his journey almost two days ago and without that darned mist he would have seen the village by now , he thought to himself . One house was towering over the rest when he finally reached his destination , entering a small village . He was told the inn was his destination and there was no doubt in his mind that this was his destination . He knew that in these small villages the inn was the biggest building around . John greeted the traveler at the door . John was a big friendly man and compared to the small man standing at the door he looked huge . The inn was warm and cozy and many travelers were seated at their tables eating their breakfast before going out on the road again . Folded neatly and sealed with a wax stamp , the parchment seemed very official . Arthur looked a little unsure should he open this , until he saw Dale 's look waiting for him to do so . Breaking the seal he opened the parchment slowly , unfolding the parchment , holding it in his hands . The four left the kitchen , entering the inn 's main hall , each one of them was carrying a short sword on his belt except for Gwen who carried a dagger , while a quiver and bow hung on their backs . Dale stood up . Looking again at the four he realized they were more than what he had thought . Dale took a deep breath and mounted his horse . Maybe his master knew what he was doing , he thought to himself . He kicked with both legs and the group was off , passing by the inn door where Merry was waving them off . Fortunate enough their travel was without strange occurrences and except for some travelers who passed them by looking at them suspiciously as they were a strange group . A huge turret was the first thing they had seen when they came out of the forest . Into view came a huge castle , not as big as the one they had seen in London but almost as big . The buildings were pearly white with a single turret in the middle , towering over the rest . Four more turrets were positioned in the four corners of the white strong stone built wall . Surrounding the castle was a village , bigger and as it seemed wealthier than their own village . The castle was surrounded with a big moat filled with water which separated the houses from the wall . A big gate was standing at the end of the road and a wooden draw bridge aloud travelers in and out of the castle . Two guards were standing at the sides of the entrance , fully armed and ready for battle . Arthur had seen four more guards armed with bows standing on top of the gate . The four followed Dale through the gate . Dale nodded to the guards and they had let the group pass without even looking at them twice . Dale slowly headed around the castle , allowing the four to take in their surrounding and admire the castle . The main hall was standing at the center of the courtyard . It was a very large building and the big turret was standing above the main hall with windows at different levels around the round turret . Two stable boys were already waiting for them at the entrance to the stable . They were not much younger than the four and were very surprised to see the guests Dale was escorting . Dismounting with a jump they handed over the reins to the boys . Dale had requested the boys to take good care of the horses , explaining these were Lord Grey 's special guests . The boys only nodded and ran to the stable . Arthur called one of the boys just before he disappeared into the stable and handed him two copper coins , remembering his friend Glen doing it previously on their journey . The rooms were huge . Each one held a big double bed , a large chest full of new clothes and a plate filled with fruit standing on a beautiful wooden table , a large window aloud them a view of the courtyard and the village outside the walls . This was one of the best places they have A small chubby short woman with a mole like face stood at the door . " This . . this things you call clothes are not acceptable for my mistress 's wedding " she gave Cathy a paralyzing look , " These were custom made , just put them on . I would start right now " she said and left the room . It didn 't take the four long to settle in their rooms as they did travel light . " What should we do ? " Gwen wondered sitting in the boys room on the ledge of the window , looking down at the village . Cathy frowned and turned away , leading the four to the hall . They were standing at the top of the flight of stairs looking down and then looking up to another flight of stairs . Gwen was the first to react and headed up the flight of stairs leading the rest of them to another maze of corridors and rooms . " How are you Arthur ? " Arthur heard when he popped his head through the doorstep of a big room . Looking inside he saw a big table standing at the end of the room . It was made of fine wood and gave the room a sense of prestige . Four chairs were surrounding the table , two from one side and two from the other . The room was finely decorated with draped windows , carpets , footstools , armchairs and a fireplace . Every piece in the room radiated of wealth . Both chairs on the far side of the room were occupied . Arthur recognized the man sitting in one of the chairs . Lord Grey was signaling for him to come over and take a sit in front of him . The woman in the second chair didn 't seem familiar to Arthur but he felt a need to comply with his host 's request . " You are a clever lad , probably you 've been asking yourself why I 've invited you to this wedding " Lord Grey took a deep breath . " I believe someone is trying to kill me " he said and Arthur eyes widened while Lord Grey 's wife wept silently , " I had this feeling for some time and the plot you have stopped in the archery competition signaled I was right . I also believe that someone tried to silence you a while ago . " " I believe this wedding is a good opportunity for someone to try again . I would like you and your friends to try and find out who is behind this " Lord Grey looked at Arthur intensively . " I know I 'm putting a lot of pressure on you but I believe I can trust you without a doubt . " Other than themselves Arthur saw four couples seated at the long table . The center plates were filled with hot steaming food and Gwen was doing her best to stop Peter from bouncing of his chair . At the head of the table were standing two large decorated seats still empty , and beside them stood two chairs which were also empty . At that moment two figures came into the room which the four quickly recognized . They were walking confidently towards the two empty chairs close to the head of the table . The two were Don and his wife to be Dian , Lord Grey 's daughter . The two sat down with a look of dismay at the others , their eyes finally landing on the four clearly recognizing them and remembering where they had previously met . Looking around the room Arthur managed to see the look of shock spreading on everyone 's face . From the corner of his eye he saw Dian looking at Don questioning . Don pointed towards the head of the table and then Arthur 's field of vision was blocked . Everything happened fast they couldn 't defend themselves as their weapons were stored carefully in their rooms upstairs . They were now being dragged into a cell after going down a flight of stairs . " Please , we didn 't do anything " Gwen pleaded but the guards pretended they didn 't even hear her . Posted on September 13 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories Welcome to the autumn book tour blog . Autumn in England signals the end of summer and a slow movement towards winter as the temperature drops and the nights get longer and darker . With less sunshine and a lost summer it 's also the time many authors get their heads down and historically write more than during any other season . But autumn in England is ' fall ' in America and ' spring ' in South Africa so you 're invited to discover how different authors approach this time of the year . Come and meet some of my friends who are writers who either have recently published works or are working on books that are likely to be available at the end of this wonderful season . Indeed , they 've all been asked the same questions as they introduce themselves and their work . So , let 's hear what they have to say . First up is Silver Wolf But after I finish jumping up and down , I would buy a small house for me and my wife instead of living in a rented house . After that I would probably quit my day job and focus on my writing . I probably would use part of the money to help my brother and sisters . A . I haven 't published yet , I 'm doing a third edit run on my novel , but at the same time I 'm writing a short stories blog with the same characters . These are short adventures which happen between the books in the series . About nine stories were already posted and can be found here : A . My novel has four lead characters , this are a group of friends who gathered together in the time of trouble . Of course there is the main character which is the young King Arthur , long before he becomes a king . This is his journey to greatness with his young knights as companions . Thank you . Can I invite you to meet my friends in this wonderful world of writing ? Just click on their names and you 'll find yourself reading a different set of answers to the same questions . Please support my friends and fellow authors by visiting their sites and checking out their contribution . Thank you for joining me on my blog tour . Almost a head shorter than Peter , Arthur was looking at the tent suspiciously . He didn 't like fortunetellers . In fact he had some bad experience with one in the previous summer . The merchant , a stocky bald chubby man , was starting to realize they weren 't going to cave to his prices and was about to sell them the pouch for half his asking price when a short cry sounded and a man came running out of the fortuneteller 's tent knocking Peter over , falling on top of him , quickly bouncing back to his feet . " The witch killed again " the merchant beside Cathy shouted . The man kept running towards the girls although it seemed he wasn 't seeing them at all . Cathy grabbed Gwen and swung her out of the way just in time for the man to hit the stand behind them at full speed , spreading the merchandise all over the ground . A woman came out of the tent . She had long black hair and olive like skin , her face was delicate but now she was scared to death . " The witch killed again " the merchant shouted again pointing towards the woman standing beside Arthur and Peter . Grabbing her hand Arthur led the fortuneteller back into the tent , followed by Peter who kept looking at the crowd who slowly made their way towards them . The tent was warm and comfortable from the inside . It held a couple of chairs , a small table which seemed like they were mended lately and a few crates in one of the corners . The tent had a second opening from the other side which Arthur immediately ran to check out only to see the crowd heading towards it as well . Peter went to work while Arthur tied the flaps of the tent closing it shut . " Do you have anything you need to take with you ? " Arthur asked . Remaining unnoticed the three managed to cut their way through three different tents before they were at the end of the line . Arthur peeked behind the tent towards the enraged crowd . Someone picked up a torch and threw it towards the fortuneteller 's tent which caught fire quickly . " It 's a good time to run " Arthur said , " Before the whole place catches fire . Aim for the trees . " the three took off not a moment later . Arthur looked back just in time to see the fortuneteller slip and fall on the ground . He immediately ran to her , grabbing her by the arm . Her leg was hurt and she had trouble standing up . A teenage boy was running towards them . He was much faster than the crowd behind him and stood alone a few feet from them , holding a rock in his hand , still not sure what to do . " Yes , you see , I 'm a Gypsy " she explained , " There are people who feel we don 't belong " she sighed . " This started a few weeks ago when we were up north . A man came to my tent a bit late and asked me to tell him his future . I 've asked him to come over in the morning as I was very tired but I should have known it wouldn 't help . He insisted it had to be then . I looked at the cards and got scared , I was looking at a dead man walking . He didn 't have much time to live and I was supposed to tell him that " Ronda paused for a moment . " How can you tell a man he will die soon ? " she asked them and continued without waiting for an answer . " I told him his future is vague and can 't see through the mist . He didn 't believe me , I sensed it . He got angry , broke my table and chairs leaving my tent in a total mess , not to mention my payment of course . Slowly getting up Ronda nodded her head . Putting her arms around the boys , they slowly lead her through the woods . Her left ankle had swollen into twice its original size and her face twisted in pain each time she stepped on it . Ronda took a deep breath . " This man died that same night " she said , " some of the merchants came to my tent , woke me up and wanted to kill me on the spot . Apparently before he died he told someone that if something happened to him I was to blame " she sighed . " I fled from my tent , barely escaping them . A couple of merchants helped me and stopped them . " " I don 't know , I went to take a cloak from my crate when I heard some whispers and a cry . When I turned I spotted a man leaving the tent from the second opening and by the time I ran outside after him he was already gone . When I returned to the tent it was already empty and that was when I came out and met you two . " " Who do you think could have done this ? " Arthur asked , " Could this have been a coincidence ? " He tried although he knew it probably wasn 't . The sun was already setting when they finally saw the inn . They were still keeping to the woods when they noticed that a crowd had formed in front of the inn . It appeared to them that someone had tipped the crowd where they lived . They could see John standing in front of the inn , trying to calm them down calling to them in his low , loud but calm voice . " I … I … I don 't have my cards here " she said , " they were probably burned in the fire " she was more confused than everyone else . " It is the best time " he answered . " Keep an eye on us as close as you can , be ready to jump in . " He continued , letting her plan the rest . Before leaving the tent Arthur covered himself , concealing his short sword under the cloak . He then followed Ronda outside and although it had seemed strange to her , they walked in the bazaar as if they weren 't hiding at all . Arthur looked like he wanted to be seen . Where once stood a nice tent now was only darkness and emptiness . Ronda looked around in the darkness and then towards Arthur . " There is nothing left " she whispered . He raised his dagger again , this time pointing it straight to Arthur 's heart . Arthur fumbled for his sword but he wasn 't fast enough to draw it . His attacker looked him in the eyes for the first time , holding the dagger straight . Arthur felt the tip of the dagger on his chest . " I 'm sorry " he whispered again , pinning Arthur down with his body . " Why are you doing this ? " Arthur asked and the man started limping away . He didn 't get far when Cathy tackled him from behind the closest tent , slamming him to the ground . Kicking the dagger out of his reach , Peter ensured he was harmless . " Leave him alone " came a shout from the crowd . Arthur turned to see who it was but the crowd only murmured in disapproval . Posted on August 25 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories Four horses were walking slowly on the road , their riders walking alongside them enjoying the warm afternoon sun . After a few days of rain the four friends had rode west on an errand for Merry the inn keeper . She was running out of spices and the market was empty for a couple of weeks as merchants were reluctant to travel at this weather to a small village like their own . The two had stopped a few feet short of the four , panting breathless and holding their side . From up close the two looked very much alike , two sisters was probably the best definition . They were about the same age at fifteen years old , very slim and tall , a bit taller than Cathy but still shorter than Peter . One of the two had a bright red long hair while the other had a bright blond hair almost white . The six of them started riding back the same road they just passed . Ann was riding behind Peter while Maggi was riding with Cathy . They were making good time but the sun was setting very fast . Maggi had pointed them into a fork in the road which they haven 't noticed on the way over . It was a small path leading deep into the woods . " This is the direction to their house " she said to Cathy and the rest have followed behind her . This time it was Cathy 's turn to nod . " I have seen the spider webs on the door as well " She said . " What do you … " From the inside the cabin didn 't look much better than from the outside . There were two rooms , a small fire place which looked like it hadn 't been lit in a while , and dust and spider webs every which way they looked . The inner room was small without any windows and the only furniture were a few blankets which were spread on the floor . " I need to check something " Arthur said . They walked a full circle around the cabin and Arthur headed back to their horses . Knowing Gwen was much faster than him , he asked her : " Can you take our weapons and put them at the back right corner of the house in the woods ? " From the corner of his eye he could see her running with both their equipment . Though it was heavy on her small slender body she was managing it very well . In the meantime Arthur unpacked food that Merry had packed for their day journey . There wasn 't enough but it was as much as they were going to get . Ann started to escort the four to the inner room while Maggi cleared their remaining food . From the corner of his eye Arthur saw Maggi head for the window on the far corner . He knew he had to act now . " But we don 't have … " Peter started to call after them , only to be interrupted by an elbow in his ribs . Cathy was looking at him with her eyes wide open . " Shut up " She whispered harshly , making Peter look at her wide eyed while rubbing his side . When they left the cabin , the first thing they noticed was their missing horses . Hearing the noise , from the cabin the two increased their pace although still aiming for stealth as well . They weren 't sure where will their attackers be . Quickly grabbing their weapons the two settled into a position , hidden between the darkness of the trees but still in clear view of the cabin door . Maggi sprinted out of the cabin heading in the opposite direction . It didn 't take long before she returned with two big men carrying long swords and the three stood in front of the cabin looking around . Suddenly they could see smoke under the door . " That will bring the other two over " a man laughed from the other side . " Get out " he shouted to Ann . Breathing out the two released their arrows . Gwen 's arrow found its target hitting the man in his thigh , dropping him to the floor . Arthur 's arrow missed the man who moved and scraped Maggi 's arm , making her cry in pain and surprise . Gwen 's line of shot was blocked with Arthur 's figure in front of her . Arthur was shouting out loud trying to get their attention . Seeing him with his sword drawn Ann ran away screaming and Maggi was lying on the floor beside the injured man . Arthur was on his back still shocked when he saw the man smiling . He raised his sword and was about to swing at Arthur . A short buzzing sound followed by a cry of pain and the man dropped to the ground . An arrow was sticking out of his buttocks . Taking advantage of these turn of events , Arthur slammed the hilt of his sword into Maggi 's stomach , doubling her into a small twisted shape . Quickly heading for the cabin he found it almost impossible to see inside , the heat was unbearable . Arthur raised his blouse to his mouth and ran inside , covering himself with his cape . Suddenly everything changed . Gwen 's hand moved quickly grabbing a dagger on her captive 's belt and swiftly stabbing it backwards into his calves . The man screamed in pain but his surprise was enough for Gwen to move away from his reach . Seeing that Cathy roll on the ground coming up standing with Arthur 's sword in hand . Before her attacker could recover she swung fast , making a severe cut on his stomach . Peter rushed from the side and kicked him to the ground , grabbing his sword before he could react . " We are fine , nothing that some water wouldn 't clear " Cathy assured him . " A small group of guards saw the fire from the road and headed over . They took Maggi and her friends . " Posted on August 12 , 2013 by silver wolf under Stories Breathing in and out , he was trying to steady his hand keeping his target in front of him . At three hundred paces he could barely see the center but he could visualize it in his mind . This was his last arrow . He had to make the shot , everyone were looking . His friends were counting on him to make it . Peter took another breath , letting out the air slowly , releasing the arrow when his lungs were empty . The arrow flew straight hitting the target dead center . The crowd cheered clapping their hands , Gwen , Cathy and Arthur jumped on Peter hugging him franticly . This was his last shot of the day . He had beaten all of his competitors today , over sixty archers including his best friends all using the same English longbow . This shot secured him a place in the semifinal round tomorrow . Peter offered his hand and the archer took it shaking it harder than expected . Peter looked at the man 's face only managing to see his eyes . Peter sensed sadness and acceptance but not the kind coming from losing a tournament . " There are two more " The archer said still shaking Peter 's hand . Throwing a look back towards the inn he spotted a man passing by . He threw his hands up and shouted , trying to get the man 's attention . Acknowledging the noise the man started towards Arthur and Cathy who was calming herself down slowly . " What is the matter ? " The man asked . He was a chubby man with a big bold spot in the middle of his black hair . Arthur now recognized him as one of the official referees in the tournament . She rubbed her chin with her open palm . " I think … I think I saw him with two more guys . " She shifted her weight from one leg to the other . " Well if there is nothing else " she looked annoyed for the waste of her time . The man stopped in his place causing the two to stop to avoid hitting him , " Leave me alone " he said raising the dagger again . " I would leave it alone as well if I were you . " They both heard the stress in his voice . After saying that he turned , picking up the pace and left the two standing there . A short man with a full brown beard and big hands nodded his head in acceptance . " I 'm Liam , I was a bowman in the army for ten years " he said . " I was shooting with a longbow before I could run . " He let himself smile a bit . Unlike their own village , this one was much bigger . The four came here for the archery competition which was held once a year close to the end of the winter , holding a big prize money to the first three places . Arthur and his friends mainly went for the fun and to support Peter who was the best archer in the group . The competition was held by Lord Grey which they met a few weeks earlier and he had extended an invite to the group . Liam led the two into a small inn . Looking for a table he spotted one in the far corner and hurried towards it , waiving the inn keeper away . The inn was almost full like the one they left a short while ago . The four met back in front of the inn , everyone looked at Arthur for guidance . He was looking around at the open field where the archery competition was held . The sun was already at the horizon , there wasn 't a lot of light left . " We know what is a shooting distance for a longbow . We also know roughly where it came from " Arthur explained . " So let 's look for a clue where the archer was . " Walking slowly towards the field Peter felt far worse than the previous morning when he was confident in his skill . It wasn 't only that he was facing the best archers out of almost two hundred which started the competition . It was mainly the knowledge that he had to win this competition as a lot more than the honor held in the balance . He wondered what have happened to his friends . He haven 't heard of them for so long . It was very hard for him not knowing what was going on and at the same time being separated from all of them for so long . He tried to recall when was the last time such a thing had happened and came to a conclusion it was more than half a year earlier , the night before Arthur first came to the village . Something was wrong they thought . There was no sign of an archer or anyone else for that matter . They woke up very early before day break and headed for the woods in the cover of darkness carrying their swords bows and quivers with them . No one was out there when they reached their destination . They had maintained a shift routine staying close by keeping an eye on the edge of the woods . A short while after daybreak the three rose from their places stretching their arms and legs . The village was coming to life before their eyes . People were leaving their houses and starting their daily routines . There was still time till the archery competition would start and the three were using the time to look for the vantage points in the area . Peter was ready to shoot his final shot in the semifinals and there was still no sign of his friends . He kept looking towards the woods between shots . Thankfully his competitors were a far more out of focus than he was and he managed to secure his place in the final with another archer . He had kept an eye on Liam and the second archer which made it to the finals as well . His final shot missed the center circle by a bit but Peter didn 't really care . He walked around looking at the woods . How it could be they hadn 't contacted him yet he thought . He was thinking the worst had already happened , they were all already dead . They could see Lord Grey sitting in the crowd now , waiting for the final three competitors to take their shots . Peter was one of the three while Liam looked like he was about to win . Peter was trailing behind but no one could have blamed him at that point . Peter was looking at Liam who was standing in front of him , he was holding the bow in his hand and his right hand was twitching , something was happening in his mind . " Please don 't do it " Peter whispered . Liam didn 't answer , only took long breath in and out . " Please " Peter pleaded again . Lord Grey was now twenty steps away . It was now or never Arthur realized . He could see that Liam wasn 't going to shoot Lord Grey but suddenly the archers beside them started to talk . John stepped to the big oak door opening it just before the big young man on the other side banged his fist on the door again . The man quickly moved to the side in order to let a pretty young maiden to pass . Seeing her all soaked from the rain John moved aside letting her and her companion to enter the inn . Instead of getting an answer the maiden started crying . Although being a very big man , John always had a big heart and a soft spot for a crying woman . Hurrying away to the kitchen he left the two near the fire place . Returning with two steaming cups of tea , he found the young man consoling the maiden who rested her head on his shoulder . She still had a few tears on her cheeks but seemed calmer now . " Thank you " the maiden said slowly . " This is Don and I 'm Alexandra , but my friends call me Alex " she continued . " My name is John " he said with a smile . " Now , do you want a room for the night , or maybe something to eat ? " John asked . " No … but … you don 't understand " Alex stammered . " He is a child " Alex looked shocked . " This is Arthur " Merry agreed with John . " Can you tell me what is the problem ? " Arthur asked again softly , trying to get Alex 's attention . " Maybe we can help " he continued , seeing Alex looking up at him . Alex shook her head and turned towards the group who already took seats around the table facing her . " I 'm a maid for the lord 's grey daughter " she said , looking at them searching for an acknowledgement . Arthur nodded . They have heard about him , lord Grey had a keep a day and a half ride to the west . " Don is a guard at the keep and we are about to be wed " Alex explained " Alex ! … " Don shouted " I 'm leaving , you can stay if you want to " with that Don closed the door behind him . " Don , please " Alex called . She looked at the group " I … . I have to … " They all nodded and she hurried after him . After she took a long sip from her cup , Arthur hoped she was ready to start talking again . " What happened ? " Arthur asked " What brought you here ? " Alex took a deep breath . " The Lord 's daughter Dian who I serve is riding with her father the lord , they are sleeping at an inn not so far from here . " She stopped to take another sip and continued . " I was called to her room this afternoon … " Alex turned to Peter " What ? " " Where was I … ? Ohhh … Dian called me to her room to tell me she knows I stole her golden trinket and I have till day break to return it , else she will have me killed " Alex started pulling he nose , " I never stole anything I swear , I heard about Arthur and asked Don to help me find you . He didn 't want to come but he finally agreed . Now he is gone and Dian will have me killed " with that Alex started crying again . Leading the way towards the inn Peter hurried and already started untying their horses making them ready for travel . The rain didn 't stop but at least it settled to a bare able drip . Alex joined Peter on the back of his horse . Peter was happy to be joined by a pretty maiden and always happy to show off his riding skills . The inn was alive , no one paid attention to the two travelers coming inside from the rain . The hall was almost twice the size they knew so well from their village , there were a lot of tables and chairs all around and a big fire place was keeping everyone warm . A small chubby bold man came up quick to the two and introduced himself as the inn owner , he was a bit surprised when they told him they were travelling alone , but after he made sure they had money to pay he escorted them to one of the tables near the door . Arthur tried to point towards a table at the far end but the inn owner insisted so they finally sat down . The stable was fairly big from Peter 's point of view , but as they approached he noted the place was a bit neglected . As a former stable boy he could easily spot the signs , the heavy smell was a major one . After tying their horses to a tree they entered the stable to find it packed full , two horses were even tied outside the stalls . " This is Don 's horse " Alex pointed to a nearby stall . The horse was very strong and fit , didn 't seem fit for a low ranked guard . " Don got the horse from Dian a few weeks ago " Alex said when Peter looked at her quizzically . Peter nodded . " You should stay outside " he said to Alex , she turned and walked outside right in time when a sleepy stable boy came out of a stall yawning . " Thieves ? " he looked shocked " No , we don 't have that here . " Then his eyes widened . " Well we had a problem today , but let me reassure you , the maid that stole the trinket from one our guests was caught and she will be taken care of " " Can I help you ? " The stable boy asked when he saw Peter and Gwen . He was a little older than the two , shorter than Peter with red hair and freckles all over his face . Taking it as an approval Peter took a step closer . " Did you hear about the trinket ? " Peter asked . The boy nodded . " The maid stole it " he added . A few moments later the voices of a couple of men and the stable boy were followed by close by footsteps . " They were here a moment ago . " Peter heard him from his hiding place , frowning at the lack of loyalty . Stall doors were opening fast from either side of the path . His stall was next , Peter realized . He was already pulling his sword slowly . He won 't be caught easily , he thought . Arthur turned , seeing the two resting their hands on the hilt of their swords . Behind them he could see the inn keeper standing , talking to a man who he realized was Don . A woman was sitting with Don and the two were getting up . " Well , what do we have here ? " Dian asked walking towards the two standing by the window . " What do you want from us ? " Cathy asked , turning the attention of the two towards her . " Well … " Dian started but stopped when a crash came from outside their window from below . " I 'm sorry " Arthur mumbled " I didn 't see it " " I know " said a man from the doorstep , a tall thin grey haired man with a well - kept beard . " Mind I ask ? What is going on ? " While he was talking three guards showed up from behind . " Sir , we are trying to help find the missing trinket . Our friend here is accused of stealing " Arthur pointed to Alex who was still on the ground . " We are only trying to return it to your daughter 's position " " Yes , it 's a pity about the maid . She was a good maid " he sighed . " Very well , where do you think it is ? " " It can 't be " Dian puffed a breath of air . " Are you calling me a liar ? " She called to Gwen . " Calm down " Lord Grey turned to Arthur . " Because I like you lads , I 'm willing to let the guards look for it . " The group didn 't wait any longer and headed to their horses . Arthur turned back when he was on the steps . He saw Lord Grey who nodded his head with a smile towards him . " I put it there " Gwen laughed . " I 've found it in the saddle bag when we hid in the stable . " " You should be thankful you aren 't marrying Don " Merry called . " A girl like you deserves better . " " We will " He promised " We 'd better " He mumbled to himself . They were walking on foot from sunrise and small snowflakes started to fall on them a few moments ago . His little brother wasn 't complaining yet , but he wouldn 't blame him if he would . " Well Arthur … " John pondered for a moment and then turned towards a twelve years old blond who passed behind him , " Cathy , can you please come here for a moment ? " John called . " Well … We know where to start " Arthur said . The four turned to their horses unpacking their short swords and bows they received the previous summer from their friend Glen the traveling blacksmith . The group split into pairs walking within a shouting distance from the other pairs . . Arthur wanted Cathy to join him but the looks on Peter 's face made him change his mind . Gwen took Andy with her and headed first into the forest Snaps of wood under their weight and the whistle of the wind all they could hear , the thought of retreating to the sheltered house seemed more and more appealing with every moment that passed . Arthur wanted to continue just a bit more . He could see a hill not far away , they 'll reach it and look around . The cabin disappeared from their view and so did the pair below , Peter and Arthur hurried making their way through between the trees . Arthur tried to spot Gwen between the branches and for a moment saw her , a man was towering over her with a sword in his hand . Arthur lost his footing and rolled on the snow , bumping into bushes on the way down . Running towards the cabin after seeing Gwen been carried inside by a stranger followed by her Dave 's little brother , Cathy spotted two figures sliding involuntary down the slope on the far side of the cabin between the trees . It was a harder approach from there but they were concealed from view for a longer time this way . Cathy couldn 't persuade her partner to try a safer approach once he saw his brother taken as well and they were now following the same route as Gwen took . Two men appeared each turning in a different direction towards the Cathy and the older brother . The one closest to Arthur waited near the corner hiding out of Cathy 's sight . There was no sign of Gwen and Arthur slowly approached the cabin stepping from one tree to another with Peter on his heels . Arthur looked outside the window seeing one of the men approaching the two outside , while Cathy was aiming her bow at him . The older brother was yelling and Arthur could see this wasn 't going to be solved peacefully . They edged around the door coming behind the second man . He was holding a club in his hand ready to swing . The boys worked together preparing to attack . Peter took a step forward , faking an attack . The man took the bait and sent a blow towards Peter leaving himself exposed to a hard blow with the dull side of Arthur 's sword to the back of his head sending him down almost taking Peter on the way down . Looking around Peter saw he was the only one standing , furiously charging at Arthur 's attacker , raining easily blocked blows on him . The man took a few steps back , standing only a few steps from the cabin entrance , he readied himself for an attack his sword was raised high . He started forward when a club hit his legs and he dropped raising his head only to see Peter pointing his sword at his throat while Gwen was ready to swing her club at him again . |
It 's been nine days since we landed in the States . And today , I am emotional . I 've been looking through the thousands ( literally ) of pictures and videos we have , and sometimes I just get teary - eyed . I miss Africa . I miss those kiddos we got to hang out with . I miss Sopo and his incredible choir . I miss Brenda picking on Taylor . I miss playing cards every night by lantern when there 's no electricity , and I miss that annoying little kitty . I want to walk everywhere . I want to eat fish and bugali . I want to speak in Swahili . I want to tell all my middle school girls that those tiny shorts they are wearing are inappropriate , and they need to wear long skirts to school . I do love to be home though . I got to spend some awesome time with my family this last week . I have missed them so much . My nephew is walking and starting to talk ! One of my best friends cut all of her hair off . My husband has a bromance with our neighbor . My mom is still hilarious . I really have missed being home and being able to hug and love on my friends and family . I 'm so happy to be home . But I so much miss being in Africa . I want both things . I want to be home , I want to be in Africa . My heart is so full now that I 'm home , and I think I will always love Congo and the people there . People keep asking me about the trip . What on earth do I even tell them ? It was incredible , life - changing , amazing , heart breaking , wonderful . . . the trip of a lifetime . There 's so much to tell ! I feel like I 'm boring people with how much I talk about it . " In Africa , they do this . . . When we were in Congo . . . That reminds me of Africa . . . " It 's constant . I apologize to the people who are around me all the time and have to put up with it . But I can 't stop . Word vomit . You 're all just going to have to deal with it for a bit . So , now what ? Good question . School , work , paying off student loans . . . we 're just going to continue to figure out life and what God has planned for us . Maybe we 'll go back to Congo someday , maybe not . We 're still processing . We have a lot going for us here right now , so I think God wants us here . At least right now . Maybe in the future we 'll get to go back , even if its just to visit . Who knows . Well , God , of course . . . but we don 't . My thoughts are all over the place . I 'm glad I decided to write though . I 'm a little less emotional now . Phew . at Saturday was a super busy day for us . We started early by meeting Sopo to go to one final choir practice . We sang a few songs with them , took a few pictures and said our goodbyes to most of them . We love that choir so much , so that was a hard goodbye . We got home from choir practice , ate breakfast , then we walked down to a tailor who was making some stuff for us . We asked her to fix a shirt , and I asked if she would make me an apron . She agreed and we told her we & # 8217 ; d be back later that day . We walked home to get going on our packing ( we procrastinated , who would & # 8217 ; ve guessed ? ) and a little bit later Mazambi came to visit . Mazambi is Ed and Brenda & # 8217 ; s day guard , but this month is his vacation month , so we haven & # 8217 ; t seen him . Taylor and Mazambi were good buddies that first month , so it was nice of him to bring his wife and come say goodbye . We sat with him for a little bit , doing our best to communicate , took some pictures , and then he had to leave . We had to walk up to the Clinic where Henri works to pick up some medicine we need , so we walked him part of the way . We got to the clinic , but didn & # 8217 ; t find Henri , so we went home and changed to go play volleyball . Our English speaking friends were playing volleyball in someone & # 8217 ; s yard at 3 : 00 , and it was about 2 : 30 . When we got inside , I realized we hadn & # 8217 ; t eaten lunch yet . Whoops . I was SO excited to play volleyball , that I scarfed some food , thinking Taylor would do the same . He didn & # 8217 ; t . He wasn & # 8217 ; t in as much of a hurry , I guess . When he was finished , we left again . We told the tailor who was fixing our clothes we would be back around three to pick them up , so we had to make a detour on our way to play . The clothes were perfect , so we paid her and went on our way . Turns out , I didn & # 8217 ; t need to feel so rushed ; this is Africa . Even Americans are on African time . We were the first few there at 3 : 30 , and we didn & # 8217 ; t even start playing until about 4 : 30 . Oh volleyball . Even in Africa , it & # 8217 ; s just as fun . We stepped out on the court , split up into teams , then had a blast . Taylor was crazy , of course , which made it even more fun . Liz and I were the only two who have actually played serious volleyball , so it wasn & # 8217 ; t a super competitive game , just a fun one . Once it started getting dark and we started getting tired , we called it quits . Michelle invited us over for dinner a little later , so we went to Liz & # 8217 ; s house to shower and get ready and then Joel took us over to Michelle & # 8217 ; s . Liz and Lewis were heading off to someone else & # 8217 ; s house so they weren & # 8217 ; t able to join us . We had a delicious pasta dinner , with baked potatoes and salad . After dinner we played Rummikub , then had to go home because the next day would be an early Easter Sunday . Of course , when we got home , we didn & # 8217 ; t go straight to bed . We had been putting off packing all day , and we wouldn & # 8217 ; t get much time on Sunday to do it . So , we had to stay up and pack more . We happened to have water and electricity when we got back , so I was able to do some laundry as well . We made a dent in our packing , then after our laundry load was done in the wash , we were able to go to bed . It was about 1 am . Phew . Long day . He is Risen ! Happy Easter , everyone ! Taylor and I got to wear our new African outfits to church , which look awesome . We headed out to Mudaka for church , the same place where the Clinic is we visited at the beginning of the trip . It & # 8217 ; s a beautiful drive out there around the lake , so we were able to stop and take a few pictures . The Bairds came with us , so I was able to get quick family pictures of everyone . & nbsp ; We made it to church with two minutes to spare . Africa said goodbye to us by having a four hour and twenty minute church service . They said at the beginning that it was going to be a short one today because the & # 8220 ; missionaries were in a hurry & # 8221 ; ( really , we just told them they didn & # 8217 ; t need to serve us lunch today because we were having an Easter lunch all together ) . So much for it being short . There were five or six choirs , each sang two or three songs each . Dawn was keeping track of choir time just at the beginning of the service & # 8212 ; 50 minutes of choirs . Phew . After the offering , one choir sang a fifteen minute song . And I & # 8217 ; m not exaggerating . Taylor got a bit restless during the service and got really hyper . He starting messing around with the camera , taking all sorts of pictures . He kept making me laugh , doing crazy , subtle things . He was the entertainment for us for probably two hours . It & # 8217 ; s really hard sitting through a four hour service and not knowing what anyone is saying . Bob preached , and I think it was good , but I don & # 8217 ; t know Swahili . It was received well , so I think he did okay . Taylor was asked to pray for the offering , and as he left he did a little jig down the stairs back to his seat . Like I said , he was hyper . At the end of the service , the preacher called us up onto stage to give us a farewell . He read out of Thessalonians , and held Taylor & # 8217 ; s hand up in the air , saying they were brothers . He said that when we came , they didn & # 8217 ; t see color , they just saw a brotherhood in Christ . He prayed for us , then we took our seats again . When church was over , they asked us to go stand at the back and greet people as they were leaving . All the wazungu stood in a line and everyone stopped to shake our hands . When everyone went through , we went down to use the squatty potty , then piled back into the truck and headed to the Baird & # 8217 ; s for Easter lunch . We had a ham and cheese and potato casserole , two types of salad , and deviled eggs . Delicious . After a quick lunch , we had to head back home to get ready for Sunday night English church at the Buell & # 8217 ; s . There was a big crowd that night and Ed did a good message about the resurrection . We sang How Deep the Father & # 8217 ; s Love , which is such a good song for Easter . & # 8220 ; Why should I gain from his reward ? I cannot give an answer . But this I know with all my heart , his wounds have paid my ransom . & # 8221 ; It & # 8217 ; s a powerful song , especially when your focus is on the cross and all that Jesus did for us . After church we all just sort of hung around for a while . We said our goodbyes to people as they were leaving , which was sad to do . At one point in the night , Sopo showed up to the house with four members of the choir . They stayed outside until almost everyone left . When they came in , we all pulled up chairs , ate some cake and drank some Kool - Aid . Sopo talked to Ed in Swahili while Ed translated for us . He told us that we were members of his choir , not just visitors . He said the choir was going to keep working on the things we taught them , and then teach them to other choirs around the area . He said they are so sad to see us leave , almost to the point of tears , and they are praying that God brings us back here one day . That was it for me . He started praying and I started crying . Like I said , we just love that choir . They might be the people we miss most when we & # 8217 ; re home . After the prayer they read us a letter they had written us , then gave us each a gift . Taylor got a button down shirt , and I got a skirt and shirt to match . They are sweet . I can & # 8217 ; t wait to wear them . We hugged them goodbye and they drove off . Taylor and I stood outside for a bit when they left . We were sad to see them go . The rest of that night was spent packing . We still had so much to do . We are PROcrastinators . Holler . We stayed up extra late doing laundry and finding a place for all of our stuff . We ended up falling asleep , then waking up again later to finish the rest of the laundry . Brenda was so kind to move things around for us while we slept for a bit . We finally finished and ended up getting a few hours of sleep before we had to be up the next morning . We were up by six getting ready for the long bus ride . JP came to the Buell & # 8217 ; s house to get us around seven . We took more pictures of us and the Buell & # 8217 ; s , said goodbye to Brenda and piled into the car . It was sad saying bye to Brenda . It & # 8217 ; s hard when you live with someone for nine weeks to have to say goodbye to them . Their house is going to be a whole lot quieter , but I think they & # 8217 ; ll be lonely without us . We & # 8217 ; re going to miss them terribly . We made the six hour trip to Kigali , made it here by three , and we were SUPER hungry . We checked into our guest house then went on a walk to find a restaurant . We found one , but it didn & # 8217 ; t open until 6 : 30 , and we couldn & # 8217 ; t wait . So we walked a little further and found the New Happy Restaurant . That looked promising . We went in a found a seat , the waiter came and asked us what we wanted to eat . We asked for menus , but there were none . He just told us what they had : fish , chicken , rice , bananas , beans , and fries . I got fish and fries , Taylor got chicken and rice , JP got chicken and fries . Everything came out in less than five minutes . All the meat was drowned in the same tomatoey sauce and the fries were cold . Oh well . We were hungry . So we chowed . After dinner , we went back to the guest house and JP went to his sister - in - law & # 8217 ; s house . We had a nice , relaxing evening , which was completely different from the last two nights we & # 8217 ; ve had . Taylor and I watched some French TV until we couldn & # 8217 ; t stand it anymore , played cards for a while , and then watched Monk on our computer until we fell asleep . Easy and relaxing , just what we needed before we travelled . We slept in as late as we could , trying to ignore the noises from the busy Rwandan streets . When we couldn & # 8217 ; t stand it any longer , we got up and showered and got ready to go . JP came to get us at 10 . We drove to the airport , ate a small lunch , and now , here we sit , waiting for our plane in the Kigali Airport . I & # 8217 ; m past the part where I & # 8217 ; m sad about leaving . I mean , I know I & # 8217 ; ll miss it , but I & # 8217 ; m so excited to be home . I can & # 8217 ; t wait to squeeze my family and hang out with my friends . I & # 8217 ; m excited to eat ice cream and take showers with water pressure . We are both ready to add some variety back into our diets . We & # 8217 ; re ready to actually understand the church services we sit through , and excited that they won & # 8217 ; t be four hours long . We excited to be able to turn on a light switch and not have to worry if the power will be there or not . We aren & # 8217 ; t excited to leave the people we have grown to love so much . I & # 8217 ; m not excited to start driving everywhere again ; I & # 8217 ; ve really enjoyed everything being sort of within walking distance . I & # 8217 ; m not excited for the pounds I & # 8217 ; m going to put back on from eating processed food again . I & # 8217 ; m going to miss having avocadoes with everything , and drinking soda out of glass bottles . But our time here is over for now . We have a lot of things to look forward to in the states . And who knows , maybe God will bring us back here someday , even if it & # 8217 ; s just for a visit . Started the day in the bus again , but this time we got to sit in the front seat ! We had to wait for a bit before we left , so a guy came up to our window and just started talking to us . He told us straight up that he was a pagan . Taylor asked him if he knew who Jesus was , and the man said he did , but Jesus is for the white man because he & # 8217 ; s white . Taylor talked to him for a little bit , he asked a lot of questions , then he had to run off somewhere . Pray for this man . Pray that SOMETHING Taylor said got through to him , and that he might see a glimpse of God and his love . Moving right along , we made it to Wasso & # 8217 ; s house and sat down for breakfast . We had grits , sweet tasting donut things , and tea . After we ate , we went outside to hang out . There were hardly any kids around yet , so we sat around with Odette . Then a few kids showed up , and Taylor started asking where Gulaine ( I asked on how to spell her name ! ) was . Two girls went to go get her , and when she came back she came right into the yard and sat right between Taylor and I . We had some fun taking some pictures , then I was asked to go into the kitchen . And actually , I & # 8217 ; m still not really sure why , because they never asked me to help out with anything . I just sat there watching Taylor play with the kids . He really got them going , and it seemed like the kids multiplied , too ! It was loud and crazy . He played for a long time , all the way up until lunch . For lunch we ate fish , chicken , rice , bugali and beans . Super good . After a bit we went back outside to hang out . A lot of the kids went home while we went inside to eat lunch , including Gulaine . Taylor was asking where she was , and finally he just decided to go to her house to get her . Of course , he didn & # 8217 ; t go alone . The whole crowd of kids followed him there . When he got there , he didn & # 8217 ; t find Gulaine , just her dad and a few other people . They made it seem like Gulaine was inside so he just hung out outside . Turns out , she wasn & # 8217 ; t inside . She showed up after a few minutes , then a few minutes more , I showed up . The dad invited us inside and introduced us to two other daughters . We took a few pictures , told him we loved his daughter , and then we left . On our way out we met Gulaine & # 8217 ; s school principal . He invited us into the school ( which is right next door to her house ) and we got to chat a little bit and walked around to look at the classrooms . It & # 8217 ; s a pretty run down school , but they seem to be doing okay . We went back to Wasso & # 8217 ; s house and played with the kids more . Gulaine wanted to challenge Taylor again in the jumping game , so Taylor stood up and was ready for it . As soon as Gulaine jumped , he grabbed her and started tickling her . She was laughing but also saying & # 8220 ; Pardon ! Pardon ! & # 8221 ; and trying to get away . She looked like she started crying , so Taylor let her go . Then she started laughing again , so Taylor went after her again , then she really started crying and ran outside the gate . She was hardly making eye contact with Taylor . She eventually came back inside , and Taylor turned into a softy and was really gentle with her . He went over and held her hand and apologized . Taylor thinks maybe she was just embarrassed . It didn & # 8217 ; t take her long to come back and sit right next to Taylor and start bossing people around again . Gulaine was on one side of Taylor , Odette on the other . Both hanging all over him . It was very sweet . They started singing more songs and playing more games and making more noise . I ventured my way into the crowd after a bit and sat next to Odette . I didn & # 8217 ; t last long though . Those kids were crowding in on the hairy muzungu , just trying to get a look or something . It was a bit claustrophobic . But those kids are so sweet , and they all just want some attention , to be touched , or tickled , or hugged or something . Taylor eventually stood up and started chasing kids around . When he would turn his back one way , kids would sneak up behind him and hit his butt or his legs or something then run away when he turned around . Every once in a while he & # 8217 ; d take a kid down and tickle him , let him go then go for his next victim . They just loved all the attention . After a while of playing , it was time to go . Mama Wasso asked us to come inside and she presented us with some food for our trip . Peanuts , sweet bread that looked like waffles , and some guavas from their tree . They told us what a blessing it was to have us , and that they will pray the Lord brings us back someday . They prayed foIt was a sad goodbye , but it was inevitable . It also wasn & # 8217 ; t the only goodbye we & # 8217 ; ve had to make , but I & # 8217 ; ll save that for a later date . I get to write first this time ( Taylor ) . We grabbed a taxi because we were on African time feeling the pinch of American time . Got there and waited for Wasso , he arrived and we again packed into one of those sweet buses . Now I gotta describe the bus for those people who won & # 8217 ; t get to see the videos we have . The outside of all these busses are decorated for the driver . Many of them remind one of the Scooby - Doo bus . However , the inside is prolly not as shag and comfortable as the cartoon favorite . There are three places in front . Right behind the driver there are four seats . The row behind that has four seats as well , but the one closest to the sliding door folds up to allow easier access to the rear . The seat behind that is the same , then there is the back seat . The back seat is the same style bench seat , but it extends all the way to the wall because there are no seats behind it . I have to let you know that a seat for 4 people , doesn & # 8217 ; t in the least mean that only four people can be on it . Usually there were on average of 5 people per bench , not including large baggage or very small children . The only opening windows are those up in the very front with the driver and those immediately behind him . The distance between the seats is a semi tight fit for most . But for me , it is literally impossible . The distance between the seat at your back and the back of the seat in front of you is shorter than the thigh part of my leg . I could make it work if I just turned my legs a little bit sideways , but then this made an even tighter fit for anyone next to you . I am happy to say all the busses we have taken haven & # 8217 ; t been in great shape . Why is that a good thing ? Well , the folding seats , allowing passage to the rear , were missing their backs . So I just sat in the very back on this aisle side . It didn & # 8217 ; t make for a luxurious space by any means , especially when considering half of my leg space is taken by the wheel well , but I could fit , so it was good . Well , we met Wasso and got up there . We had tea and milk and sugar and bread for breakfast . I don & # 8217 ; t usually like tea , or coffee for that matter , but with enough milk and sugar , any drink can be good I guess . But the tea alone was pretty good , it was a very clear and light tea . Once that was over , I was told to change into shorts so that I could go to work . So I did . Wasso took me to the right side of the house where the bathroom is , and he told me of our task . We were going to be weeding . But really it was just eliminating all plant life , except the few potatoes and lenga lenga plants , and tilling the ground . It wasn & # 8217 ; t bad as there were three of us and this whole country seems to be composed of soft rich top soil . There was a lil mupanga ( machete ) work , which I was happy to do as it is a blast . We got everything up out of the ground , killed a spider ( spelled that spyder the first time ) , and cleared the area around the fence . While I was doing the latter bit of work there was lots of foliage around me . This didn & # 8217 ; t worry me , but after a few moments I heard & # 8220 ; Pay attention ! & # 8221 ; from Wasso and his cousin Teddy . They then explained there were poisonous snakes around and I needed to be wary . No sooner had they finished telling me this then a snake slithered up my pant leg . Wasso caught a glimpse of it immediately and told me not to move , but it was far too late for that as I had felt it immediately and began to move away . But not quick enough , the snake bit me in the leg . I now have a bit of a wound on my leg and a horrible pain moving up my leg towards my heart . We will see what happens . OK , I hope you know where the story stopped being true . And if you don & # 8217 ; t , it & # 8217 ; s when he told me about the snakes . After which I soon left that area until we had cleared it out . We talked about a lot of interesting things while we did this job , one being the & # 8220 ; bride price & # 8221 ; I paid for Bonnie . Here , when a dude wants to marry a chick , he goes to her father , brings a case of soda or beer , and negotiates a bride price . The price usually starts at five cows and usually drops to about two , and includes anywhere from two to five goats standard . This totals about $ 1 , 000 , which is what Baba Wasso & # 8217 ; s daughters went for . They don & # 8217 ; t see women as property and this practice isn & # 8217 ; t derogatory . After some quick calculating , I figured Bonnie & # 8217 ; s & # 8216 ; bride price & # 8217 ; was around $ 40 , 000 because of student loans and interest on those loans . So I told them the price and they were very amazed . Perhaps , they understood a part of the value I place on my wife , but still not close to the real thing . With that task complete , Wasso had a family meeting he had to go to and it was kid time again . I have mastered counting and learned a couple of songs in Swahili . But most of all , I have made two good friends . One of which I held hands with the whole way back up to the bus . Their names are Odette and Gilena ( I & # 8217 ; m not 100 % sure of her name because she is always smiling and won & # 8217 ; t slow down ) . They are both eight or nine year old girls who at once glance will take your heart . As stupid as it sounds , as girly as it sounds , I think leaving these two girls is going to be the hardest . They are seriously awesome . Now I have to tell you a little bit more about Gilena . With so much time because of Wasso & # 8217 ; s meeting , I decided to host a little tournament . There & # 8217 ; s a game that the students play here , mostly girls , where they jump up in the air , and when they land , they stomp one of their feet forward . At the same , they are keeping a clapping rhythm with the way they jump and stomp . They start off with one foot and alternate feet throughout the game . Two different ways you can play it : Play until someone gets tired , or play until someone messes up . I & # 8217 ; ve seen all these kids run around and play all day without a drop of sweat , so I wanted to see if they could . That , and it was a blast . So I started pitting people against each other and starting the matches . None lasted too long because someone would always just give up . I faced a few kids and beat them , but I could see clearly who the main challenger would be . Gilena . She had beaten everyone thus far , and then a little boy came and challenged her . And this turned out to be a three to five minute match . Before you say , & # 8220 ; oh that & # 8217 ; s not that long , & # 8221 ; I want you to do something . Stand up where you & # 8217 ; re at , jump up in the air decently high , but not as high as you can . Then as soon as you hit the ground , shoot your right foot forward and stomp . Do this again , but this time stomp your left foot forward . Do this and see how long it takes for you to feel the burn . Guarantee it won & # 8217 ; t be more than a minute . Anyway , so she ended up finally beating the boy because he was slacking so bad in his jumping . But still , no one was sweating . A few more matches happened , but it was clear who the championship round would be between . Gilena stood up , and pointed alternatingly between her and me and clapped twice fast ( which is the way they signal to start the game ) . So , we started . But before we started , I noticed something . She was sweating ! She had sweat coming back down behind her ears and in front of her ears . But what is any good championship without a prize It again was going to rain , so we headed home . We got out of there just in time , for on the hot bus ride home , they rolled up the windows because of the rain , while the muzungus in the back cooked . It was great . I wouldn & # 8217 ; t trade it for anything . Peace . Oh , hello . My day was a whole lot more uneventful than Taylor & # 8217 ; s . In fact , I have very little to talk about . I helped in the kitchen again . I am really becoming a master at cutting those onions without a cutting board . I grated some tomatoes , which was disgusting . Anyone who knows me will know that I did not enjoy that . Then I added it to the goat meat we fried up , along with some onions , water and oil . I helped stir the bugali when it was ready , and helped make the lenge lenge . Every now and then I would stick my head out of the kitchen and get the camera to record whatever chaos Taylor was causing . We ate a delicious lunch , then came back out and rested for a bit . Most of the kids left over the lunch hour , but came back shortly after . I got to play a little with the kids and sit and talk with some of the older kids ( such as Wasso and Teddy ) . Then Wasso & # 8217 ; s older sisters took the camera from us and starting taking all sorts of pictures . They wanted picture of themselves , pictures of us with them , pictures of them with each other . It was probably a good two hours of taking pictures . We had a good time . Teddy has given us his flash drive so he can have the pictures that were taken . & nbsp ; I just have to say , those two little girls we told you about , really are the sweetest little things ever . They have so much personality and are so so sweet . Odette really seems to cling to me when I sit down to hang out . When she gets really excited about something , she just jumps straight up in the air over and over again . Not squealing like a little girl , she just jumps . It & # 8217 ; s so cute . Her and Gilena seem to be the & # 8220 ; leaders & # 8221 ; of the kids around the area . They kick people out of the yard who aren & # 8217 ; t supposed to be there , shove people out of the way when it & # 8217 ; s their turn to do something ; they are ALWAYS the center of attention . Which is probably why Taylor and I like them so much . It breaks my heart to see how much Taylor adores these two . Especially Gilena . He has formed a bond with them that I haven & # 8217 ; t seen him form with anyone else . I keep seeing him become sad at the thought of saying goodbye to these girls tomorrow , which is a whole new thing , because he isn & # 8217 ; t really the type of person to miss anyone . I mean , there are a certain few , but I know he & # 8217 ; s really going to miss these little girls . There have been many times he tells me how bad he wants to kidnap them . It & # 8217 ; s a side of Taylor I have never seen , and I know how sad it will be tomorrow when we have to say goodbye to the family . It & # 8217 ; s giving me a glimpse of how good of a Daddy he will be to our kids , someday . Anyway , enough of that . It was a good day , with a lot of laughs and fun . Today we had a Youth Conference that we were asked to teach for , so we didn & # 8217 ; t get to go be with the family . We each taught a short lesson , then talked a little about how things are done for the Youth in the states . I didn & # 8217 ; t feel good for the last part of it , so I stepped out to get some fresh air , but Taylor stayed in and answered the challenging questions they were asking . He also taught them a fun game of Gorilla , Hunter , Ninja . Basically like Rock , Paper , Scissors , except your whole body is involved . Gorilla beats Ninja , Ninja beats Hunter , Hunter beats Gorilla . They seemed to enjoy it . I think it is the plan tomorrow to teach the kids that game . Assuming we can communicate it with them . Today was easy because Ed translated for us . Tomorrow will be a bit harder . Today started early , then ended early . We were down at the market at 6 : 30 am , ready to meet Wasso so he could take us up there . He found us after a little bit and then we got into a taxi bus and headed up the road . This time we were stuck in the back of the bus . We found out that Taylor doesn & # 8217 ; t fit in the seats . I & # 8217 ; m not saying it & # 8217 ; s uncomfortable for him ; his legs are literally too long to fit between the seats . So he had to get in the very back seat with his feet in the & # 8220 ; aisle & # 8221 ; where other seats without backs to them fold down . It was hot and crowded , but it & # 8217 ; s the Congolese way , and this week , we are Congolese . When we got to the house , we were welcomed inside for some breakfast . We had grits and rolls . I guess grits is a bit of a specialty , because you have to put sugar in it , and sugar is not cheap . This meal is not one they have every day ; it was a treat . After breakfast , they put us to work . I went into the kitchen again to help cook . This time the kitchen was moved to a little hut next to the house . It had one small window and an open door , so there wasn & # 8217 ; t much light , but there was enough for what we were doing . One of the ladies asked me to cut up an onion . And really , it & # 8217 ; s an easy chore in the states , but here in Africa , they don & # 8217 ; t use cutting boards . They showed me how to hold the onion , and cut it in my hands . My second day of doing this , I did alright . I still have all of my fingers , and I cut it to their satisfaction , I think . But I don & # 8217 ; t speak Swahili . And actually , I speak enough to understand that I did okay . After a bit of cooking and cutting and sorting , a young girl and an older woman told me I was going to & # 8220 ; Soko ya Kadutu & # 8221 ; ( Kadutu Market ) with them . We grab our basket and off we go , on a hike up the mountain , then back down the mountain . It was a long walk , too . I was winded . The old lady did it like it was no problem . Our first stop was right outside the market to buy macala ( coal ) . We chose the best bag of coal , which was HUGE , paid for it , then this old lady came over to bring it to the house for us . I & # 8217 ; m not talking about a small bag of charcoal like you get in the states either . It was about as tall as me . And heavier . And ONE little lady was going to put it on her back and make the hike to our house . They work so hard , it really amazes me . After buying the macala , we went into the busy part of the market . We stopped first in the fresh meat section . And I mean FRESH . There was meat just lying on the tables , bloody . Pig heads were hanging above some merchants , a cow carcass was laying behind another , and it reeked ! But we picked out the meat we wanted and went through the clothes and perfume and shoes and whatever else non perishable you can think of , and went to more of a produce area . We bought some tomatoes and onions , then stopped to a talk to a lady about buying chickens . Live chickens . They just handle them like they aren & # 8217 ; t living either . Haha . They picked them up by their feet felt their legs , chest , butt , everything , just checking to see how much meat was on them . We bought two , shoved them in the basket then turned to go on our way . At that point , I was done carrying the basket . So the girl I was with put them on top of her head and we started back up the hill . A few minutes later , one of the chickens pooped . Whoops . All over her shoulder . At least it wasn & # 8217 ; t all over her face . Gross . After we started on the hike back , we stopped to buy lenge lenge , a crop similar to sombe , only it tastes better . Lunchtime came shortly after . We had rice , beans , sombe , fish , and goat intestine ! I got everything except the goat , and Taylor got everything except the fish . I guess the intestine of the goat is quite a delicacy here , but I couldn & # 8217 ; t bring myself to try it . Taylor only got a little piece of it , but he ate it ! We sat and talked for a little bit over lunch , then we went back outside . I went back into the kitchen and Taylor went to play with the kids and cause fujo ( chaos ) . I ended up helping pull the leaves off of the lenge lenge we bought , and after a bit , they told me I could go outside because it was hot in the kitchen . So I went out and played with the kids a little bit . After a while , it was time to go because the rain was coming . It was Both days so far I have come straight home and wanted a shower . Today , of course , there was no water . So I had to wait a little bit . Brenda told me I have a slight case of culture shock . I don & # 8217 ; t doubt it . I just felt dirty from walking through the super crowded market and sweating all day . I am Congolese this week , but the American need to shower still comes out . I will proudly admit it . Hi , my name is Bonnie , and I have culture shock . No problem . Our second day started with some nice grits ( yes I like em a lot ) . This isn & # 8217 ; t customary breakfast , but we assume they served it because we were there ( really wish their hospitality wasn & # 8217 ; t so good , It is normally a treat for them to have this ) . After eating I changed into shorts . This way I had a little cooler dress while we repaired the fence surrounding their house . The fence wasn & # 8217 ; t chain link or anything . It was an awesome stick fence . It was made from sticks , none bigger than my wrist and most a little larger than a broom stick . The larger sticks were pounded in the ground and used as the main anchor points for the rest . Horizontal cross beams ( still sticks ) were fastened to them using wire ( thanks to muh brother for my Leatherman ) and then the smaller broom sticks were fastened to these and pounded into the ground . Only a few of the sticks were any significant depth in the ground , so when rain would come , and people would lean / touch them , the fence would lean . On the left of their house ( when you are facing it coming in the gate ) a 15 foot section had collapsed . The sticks were leaning in towards their house and many were gone . We repaired that side and the front side in a few hours . After we did this , there was time enough for a game of Congolese checkers , which I horribly lost at . But I got my honor back by beating him in American checkers ( but I didn & # 8217 ; t dominate him the way he did me ) . At lunch I tried some goat intestine , and I didn & # 8217 ; t even taste it . The beans were fantastic , but my mind didn & # 8217 ; t like the idea of what I ate ( I worked myself up too much ) . After lunch it was language time . I was promptly tested by Rachelle on my numbers , I passed , ish . ( I have come to learn that the way I say their number eight , I am actually saying Fat Lady , so it gives them a nice laugh when I count ) . I then learned and recorded a sweet song about Swallihi . I will hopefully retain this and will sing it upon request when we return . It was great to be surrounded by kids and rejoice and have a good time with them . Because they live in a valley , when it rains it is not only dangerous for people there , but it is near impossible to leave . So it being the rainy season here , it rains every day . Sadly it seems our days are going to be cut short due to rain . We had to leave about 2 ish . I really love African culture , though I do love American culture ( the one I create lol ) as well . Home is a little on my mind , but Africa is on my heart AND mind & # 8230 ; lol . & nbsp ; Taylor and I woke up at 6ish because the oldest son of the family we 'll be staying with for our " bonding week , " and a family friend , were coming to meet with us at 7 . They got there at about 8 : 00 , talked with Ed for a little bit , just about what to expect for the week and such , and then we were on our way . We packed a backpack of a change of clothes , clean water , and toilet paper ( in case we have to use the squatty potty ! ) . We walked up to the main road where the taxis are , and instead of taking a taxi car , we took a taxi BUS . Something I & # 8217 ; ve learned in Congo : Congolese people are not claustrophobic . Seriously , they shove people into those busses like it & # 8217 ; s a clown car . Luckily , there wasn & # 8217 ; t anyone in there when we got in . We picked up a few on the way , but they didn & # 8217 ; t have to pack people in . I was a little nervous about the bus , just for that reason , but our first taxi bus experience was a good one . We got to where we were being let out , walked down the road a ways , and were finally at Wasso & # 8217 ; s house . ( Yes , Wasso passed away , but it is a family name . His wife is still Mama Wasso , and his oldest son now goes by the name Wasso . ) As we were walking to the house , we got a lot of & # 8220 ; muzungu ! & # 8221 ; calls , and a lot of & # 8220 ; goot & # 8230 ; morning & # 8230 ; & # 8221 ; . We got into the yard and were greeted by the family . They brought us inside and gave us a Fanta Orange and we sat and chatted for a bit . There was a man named Herman there who spoke fluent English . He was Baba Wasso & # 8217 ; s brother & # 8217 ; s father - in - law ( understand ? ) . He talked to us for a few , then got us started . He led me out to an area I would call a kitchen , but I don & # 8217 ; t think that & # 8217 ; s what it actually was . It was more of an area next to the house that was covered with tarp for shade . It had a coal stove that sat on the ground , and a small fire pit with big rocks around it to put pots on . That & # 8217 ; s where we made lunch , while Taylor went to play games . That & # 8217 ; s the Congolese way , I guess . Women do the work , men play the games . They started by getting me a kikwimbe . Basically , just a big piece of cloth that ties around your waist like a towel , and it pretty much served as an apron . It was there to keep my clothes clean . They sat me down in a chair and handed me a bowl of tiny dried up fish . My job was to pull the heads off of them . Lovely . But I did it . I had little girls surrounding me watching me the whole time , close enough to be daring , but not close enough to where I could reach them . They were pretty scared of me at first ; like they weren & # 8217 ; t sure if I was real or not . Yes , my skin is really white , and no , it won & # 8217 ; t rub off on you . One of the older of the girls came over and took a fish body from the bowl I was putting them in and gestured to me that I should try it . I said that she should first , and she did . The whole thing , right in her mouth . So of course , I did , too . Not great . Ever had fish jerky , bones still included ? I have . It & # 8217 ; s all about the experience . I ended up cooking the fish , making a tomato sauce to put them in , pulling rocks out of rice , stirring the sombe , cutting onions , sorting beans , and observing in the making of bugali . These ladies work HARD . And they do some things I could never imagine ( aside from eating fish jerky ) . While I was stirring the sombe , she came over to check it and told me it was finished . So I put the spoon down , and she just grabs the skillet with her bare hands and sets it aside ! BARE HANDS . Who needs oven mitts ? Then after she moved it , she reached down and pulled out some pieces of charcoal , no problem . The same charcoal I was just cooking the sombe on . Unbelievable . The food we made turned out to be edible , and we had lunch . Taylor didn & # 8217 ; t touch the fish , but he had rice and sombe with some fresh Cayenne pepper cut into chunks . I ended up eating the fish , which wasn & # 8217 ; t horrible , but not really something I & # 8217 ; d choose to eat . & nbsp ; After lunch it was time for me to go . Taylor was able to stay , but I was supposed to go back home to meet women from Tracy & # 8217 ; s Heart . Today was the day we got to give them clothes for their kids and blankets to keep them warm at night . Wasso ( the son ) and I start making our way back to get a taxi . Instead of taking me back up the road we came down that morning , he took me behind the house and we hiked up the mountain through people & # 8217 ; s yards . It was quite the hike . He was very concerned the whole time that I was too tired , but I made it . It actually was a nice hike . We finally got up to the main road and we start walking toward the taxis . He stops and talks to one taxi driver , telling him where we need to go , and finally tells him no . We walk a little further and stop at another taxi . But no , not a normal taxi . Oh yes , a taxi bus , completely full . So of course , we got in . & # 8220 ; This is Congo , & # 8221 ; Wasso kept telling me . Yes it is . After being stopped in Congolese traffic for thirty minutes , hitting my shins HARD on the seat in front of me , and sweating like a man , the clown car finally got me to where I needed to be . Phew . I got to the building where we were going to be handing out clothes and found Brenda and Elizabeth there with a lady already inside . Five women came today to get clothes for their kiddos , and we could hardly help the last few . We had hardly any little boy & # 8217 ; s clothes to give them at all , but we were able to get blankets and clothes for the girls a little older . We gave them dolls for their youngest girls and toy cars for their boys , they each got a little purse that Elizabeth had made in the states , and they each got a little bit of jewelry . They left happy and can & # 8217 ; t wait to come back again next month when we have more for them for choose from . I & # 8217 ; m just sad I have to miss that time . We went home after we finished with the ladies and I felt so filthy . I immediately jumped in the shower , and when I got out , I found the Bairds had come over for dinner . We had a nice evening with them , and as soon as they left , I got into bed and started writing this . And now my turn is up . I shared my side of day one , and I & # 8217 ; m not sure I & # 8217 ; d be able to do Taylor & # 8217 ; s story justice . I & # 8217 ; m just going to let him tell you . Here he goes ! Ahh , today . Started off early , finally got to jam into one of those crowded busses , though we were blessed enough not to be crowded in . We got up the & # 8220 ; thief circle , & # 8221 ; as I will call it , and walked down the windy road to Wasso & # 8217 ; s house , Bonnie getting checked out , and me staring people down for checking Bonnie out . But , it was a pretty good start to the day . Well , it started off with the customary greeting with a Fanta in the living room . Herman took Bonnie out to go cooking , and I sat there in the house alone for a little bit . Then Wasso came in and said & # 8220 ; We have a new job out here , come see . & # 8221 ; He took me around the left side of the house and started naming things . This new task was very important for our communication , but was not at all what I was expecting . After naming a few things and talking as much as we could , he said he had a game he wanted to show me . & nbsp ; So we went and played Checkers . Or so I thought . Until during the middle of the game , the Congolese rules were introduced to me . Like , you can jump backwards , as well as forwards when you are not & # 8220 ; kinged & # 8221 ; ( which really does throw off your strategy if you & # 8217 ; ve ever played any serious checkers ) . And when you are & # 8220 ; kinged & # 8221 ; , not only can you move diagonally all the way across the board , but you can jump any person at any point along the way , and a & # 8220 ; kinged & # 8221 ; checker piece can only be taken by another & # 8220 ; kinged & # 8221 ; checker piece . As one might guess , this was slightly frustrating for the under - competitive spirit that I have . Haha . Then we play some American style checkers and I showed him who is boss , but we both got bored with that , so the next few hours were spent language learning . & nbsp ; Learning numbers 1 - 10 in another language is not as easy as it sounds , especially when that language is fundamentally phonetically different . But it was not only me language learning , for some reason there was a desire to learn Spanish . 1 - 5 successfully slaughtered today . To keep it interesting , not only for me , but for all the gracious participants , lots of children ( amazed at a muzungu ) , some women ( doing hair the WHOLE day ) , and one man ( being very patient ) , we mixed in some games . I would say their numbers and they would repeat after me correcting me as we go , starting small and eventually after about two hours , we worked up to ten . After a couple repetitions through the numbers that I knew , I would teach them the Spanish numbers , they would play a schoolyard game , and also sang a song about how Swahili is the language of Africa , which I will get on video . It was lunchtime and Wasso and Bonnie left . After a little more time with the hair ladies , I went over to the kitchen and smashed sombe . It & # 8217 ; s like taking spinach , lightly cooking it for just a moment , not even to the point where it wilts , and them smashing it , added some garlic , some chive type stuff , and lots more smashing . They were adding wood to the fire to try to get more fire going so they could cook the meat , and it was not successful , so I went over , and using my cub scout skills , I got a nice little blaze going . They cheered and laughed and did so even harder when I stood up and declared myself & # 8220 ; Bwana Moto & # 8221 ; , which means & # 8220 ; Lord of Fire & # 8221 ; ! ( Up to this point , I have had others ( including my wife ) refer to me as & # 8220 ; Bwana Fujo & # 8221 ; , which means & # 8220 ; Lord of Chaos & # 8221 ; . ) It was back to the hair ladies for a little more counting practice , and Wasso returned . Wasso escorted Bonnie home , then came back , so it was quite a long time . By the time he returned , he looked at the sky and told me it was going to rain , and told me I had to go . So he escorted me up to a bus ( which I was very wary of ) , and didn & # 8217 ; t want to buckle up in case I had to tuck and roll . Then I went to a soccer game , which are every Monday , Wednesday , and Friday at five . Before the game there was a downpour and even a heavy rain from a clear blue sky . It was crazy . I got to score a goal , but we still lost 2 - 1 . I made another friend named Patrick , who actually lives just up the road from us , and invited me over for a Coke . I met his whole family , but graciously denied the Coke as I needed to be home in time for dinner . Turns out he goes to church next door to us and he escorted me home . Thank you thank you thank you for praying when Taylor asked you to ! It made a difference ! Florence got out of the hospital yesterday ! Our prayers were answered ! She & # 8217 ; s starting to walk a little better which means she is slowly getting her strength back . Turns out she had Malaria and she let it go on for too long before getting treated . She is staying on the medicine for a little longer and still needs help around the house , but she is on a healing path . God is good and powerful . Thanks so much for praying for her ! Yesterday we went out to visit Wasso & # 8217 ; s family . Taylor and I bought them a goat , and Ed and Brenda brought them a big box of food . We sat and chatted for a little while with them and then they fed us . Taylor went with Kasavubu to get the goat before Ed , Brenda , and I came , so he got there early . He got to play some games with the kids , and I guess he had a blast . They really took a liking to him . They also kept asking when we were coming over to do our bonding . Ed and Brenda talked to the Mama ( I & # 8217 ; m not sure what her name is . . ) and it turns out we are still going there next week . The oldest son is coming over to talk with us about the week tomorrow afternoon ( as he is now the Patriarch of the family ) . We & # 8217 ; ll get things squared away . I & # 8217 ; m excited for it . I think God has gotten me over whatever I was scared of about the bonding . Except for the GIANT spiders they have in the trees right in front of the house . I & # 8217 ; m still scared of those . And not just one or two , there & # 8217 ; s a zillion . Literally . One zillion . I counted . But really , if that & # 8217 ; s my only worry , God has worked wonders . I was not looking forward to the bonding , but now I am . I think it & # 8217 ; s because this family is hurting , and I think Taylor and I will be able to help them out around the house and be with the kids and things . I keep praying that God will help us to minister to the family while we & # 8217 ; re there . I got to sit in with Brenda the other day at a meeting she had at Tracy & # 8217 ; s Heart . That was an emotionally heavy time . We sat with each of the ladies as they told us their stories and we figured out what they needed . Please pray for these hurting women . A lot of their stories are similar , but all SO awful . They were happy in their homes with gardens , their husbands , and their kids , and then it was all taken away when soldiers came . If their husband wasn & # 8217 ; t killed , he left . Then the ladies are raped by soldiers , often multiple soldiers . Sometimes in front of their kids , sometimes they are taken out to the jungle for a while . It & # 8217 ; s just awful . Especially to meet these women and see the hurt as they tell their stories . Just to see them have to relive it all over again in their mind would break anyone & # 8217 ; s heart . & nbsp ; After they told their stories , we talked to them to see what was most important for them at this time , whether it be to pay the rent on their houses , to help get their kids in school , or to train them to start their own small business . After we figured out that one lady needed help finding a place for her and her kids , she told us what she really needed right away was a change of clothes for her kids and some blankets . Her kids get so cold at night , and they only have each other to keep warm . I can & # 8217 ; t even imagine . Monday the ladies are coming here to get clothes and blankets . We have some in storage for that very purpose . Please , please pray for all of these women . They are so wounded and broken . I love it when Brenda tells them what can done for them , and watching their eyes fill up with tears and their faces just light up at the small amount of hope that they get . God is at work here and it is such an encouragement to see it . We went to the orphanage on Tuesday . That was awesome . I loved it so much . It was a three hour drive there , which was really , really rough . The road was a typical Congolese dirt road the whole way . We went way up into the mountains ; it was a beautiful drive . We stopped a few times to take pictures . We stopped on the way to get bananas for the kids , which I guess is something Holly does every time she goes . They just expect it now . We got there and gave all the kids a banana each , then Dwayne ( a potential daddy to one of those kiddos ) gave each of them a toy car . They just LOVED those . We got to play with them with their new cars for a little while , then we all went outside to play . Taylor got to play soccer with some of the kids with a new kabumbu ( ball ) . They enjoyed that for a while . Then we just got to love on them . They don & # 8217 ; t hardly get touched or held , so we made sure to hug them and hold them a lot . I also spent a lot of time in the baby room . Ugh . I loved them . They were just so sweet . And they all needed some lovin & # 8217 ; . All of the kids had bad scabies and some of them had ring worm on their heads . So sad . We had to come home and shower right away and wash our clothes . Holly brought some medicine for the mamas at the orphanage and told them how to use it on the kids . It was a lot of fun , but sad at the same time . I really want those kids to find loving families to be with , and not just be forgotten orphans . The youth conference that was supposed to be held today has been postponed . It has been moved to next Friday , because the people who are coming to it and running it have already taken off too many days this week for Wasso & # 8217 ; s funeral and the three days following . Just goes to show you how great of a man Wasso was . - I have come down with a cold . I & # 8217 ; m doing everything I can to take care of it , but it would really be a pain to have it next week . The last thing those 12 kids need is for a muzungu to bring a cold with her to spread around . If I am still sick when the time comes , I don & # 8217 ; t want to risk the chance for spreading it , and probably won & # 8217 ; t go . Please pray for healing . Taylor and I got married May 23 , 2009 . He attends Nebraska Christian College , and is planning to graduate ASAP ! In order for this to happen , he is required to take a cross - cultural internship for 8 weeks . What better place to go than Africa . These are our adventures , findings , emotions , and anything else that might occur on this trip . |
Happy New Year 's Eve ! This blog was born as an idea last year ( 2012 ) about this time . I spent the entire year , with very few exceptions , writing about Nixon 's days and adding pictures . It started with pictures of him sleeping , but when he got sick he started sleeping a little lighter and the flash affected his sleep making it harder to take those nightly pictures . I didn 't give up though , I added photos from the day instead , when I could . * Nixon woke up this morning and woke Mac and I up , because he " needs to go downstairs to brush my teeth , so they don 't fall out and then I have to eat baby food . I don 't want to eat baby food ! " We woke up and brought Nixon downstairs , waiting for him to spot BeBe in the tree . He did and it was like he was afraid to believe he was really there . Then , of all the things Nixon could say , he says " BeBe must have decided to leave his hat house and come home . I 've missed him ! " . Mac found Be , under a hat on Nixon 's table that I know I looked under ! How Nixon knew that 's where Be was , is a mystery to me , but Be is back and Nixon is super excited . I don 't think he was more than a foot away from him at any point of the day , today . * Nixon : * to Mac * Mommy likes me . Mac : I don 't know , buddy . I think you should ask her . Nixon : * to me * Mommy , can you please let me like you please ? * Saturday was pretty nice . Nixon and I woke up and watched My Little Pony together . There wasn 't much going on except that I went out with friends last night and Nixon was very okay with it . Unlike the last time I went out , Nixon was very okay with me going out . Even telling me to leave so he and Mac can spend time together . They had a great night together , according to Mac . Mac and I were excited because both of our teams had playoff spots on the line . Miami Dolphins had a chance . . . . and needed a few other teams to lose , but the chance was there . They just needed to win . They did not . The Philadelphia Eagles ( my long - loved team ) had an easier path . . . they only needed to win . And they did ! We also played Cars 2 Monopoly . The first game went by quickly , but the 2nd game lasted almost an hour and Nixon won ! He was good at counting out the money and rolling Lighting McQueen around the track . It 's a great game , I 'm glad we got it for the family . It 'll be a lot of fun for all of us . He 's home , been in the house this whole time ! Nixon 's sleeping and doesn 't know he 's been found yet . I placed him in the tree , waiting for Nixon to notice him tomorrow . He 's been missing for almost a month ( I think ) and Nixon 's been okay , only asking for him a couple times since he 's been MIA . * Apparently , before Mac left for work , he had told Nixon that , if he was good , I would possibly let him play his game before he went to bed . Nixon told me " Dad said to tell you I 'm allowed to play my game now " , after he ate dinner . I told him I 'd think about it and he says to me , " That 's it , Mom ! Call Dad right now ! I 'm telling on you ! " . So I had him give me the phone and called Mac . After we played phone tag because I never remember to charge our house phones and my cellphone loses signal in the house randomly , I explained why I called and let him talk to Nixon . I then talked to him again and ended up letting Nixon play the game for a bit before bed . * Nixon did everything he was asked to do ( pick up his toys , put his dishes in the kitchen and play quietly while mac was sleeping ) all because he really , really wanted to play his Rescue Bots game system . I got it set up , plugged it into the TV and figured out how to get it loaded . Nixon played for about 10 minutes the first time then declared it stupid and quit . I 'm not a big video game person , myself , which was exactly why I kept telling him to wait for Mac 's time off so they could play together . Nixon decided , after taking a break in his room to calm down , he wanted to try again . This time he got a few pointers from Mac and he was getting the hang of it . By the time I was done getting dressed Nixon had gone from being a 3rd level thingy to 10th level ! I was so exhausted yesterday I fell asleep around 9pm ! It was glorious ! Nixon and I got comfy in my bed and settled in to watch Chipwrecked together , when it was over we both fell asleep . I said " Maybe Santa didn 't forget her . Maybe it 's empty because she 's on the naughty list for being mean and chasing Amber all year long . Do you think that 's possible ? " * Today is Christmas Eve . Nixon and I were in full Santa - prep force ! We cleaned the kitchen together , so we could make the cookies for him . We made peanut butter cookies with Hershey kisses on top and cake pops . The cake pops ended up looking more like elf vomit on a stick . . . . not pretty ! But at least they 're tasty ! * After dinner , Nixon got into his jammies and he got into his skunk costume from Halloween . Why ? Because it 's warm and we were going for car ride to look at christmas lights on houses ! I made hot chocolate in travel mugs and we got into the car . We drove around for about an hour and it was beautiful ! Almost no one else was on the roads , so we could drive slower and not annoy any other drivers . * Then we came home , made Santa his coffee and plate of goodies and left it under the small tree . We also got C3PO and R2D2 and put them with the coffee and cookies too , because Santa 's bringing them back to the North Pole with him tonight . We 'll see them again next year ! * One month later and I am happy to say Scootaloo is still with us ! In fact , he got a new tank over the weekend . His old one was a bit too small , and it was hard to keep the water level at a good level because of evaporation from the heater in his tank . * Some days you just wake up and feel loved . This morning was that day . Nixon , for some reason , ended up in my bed around 2 or 3am . He woke up when he heard Mac come home and went to play in his room for a while , letting me sleep . Around 9am , Nixon climbs back into bed with me and says " Mommy , you need a cuddle " and cuddles up with me and took a little snooze , sleeping on my shoulder . * I had some errands to run , and took Nixon with me of course . Nixon was content in the backseat , counting stop signs ! No PSP , no iTouch . . . just me and him with my GPS telling us where to go . And he was great ! me : No , but close . We 're making cookies that we 'll leave out for Santa Tuesday night . Nixon : Yay ! Oh yeah , cookies , oh yeah ! * doing his little butt wiggle dance while he says that * me : Nix , what should we leave Santa to drink with his cookies ? me : Well , a lot of people like to leave him milk with his cookies . But . . . Santa has a long journey to make on Christmas Eve . Do you think he might like something warmer ? Like maybe coffee ? Nixon : Yeah ! Mommy , coffee is a perfect choice ! Santa will be SOOOOOOOOOO happy with a cup of coffee and cookies . Coffee is good for Santa ! me : How do you think Santa takes his coffee ? Creamer and sugar or black ? Nixon : Mom , you 're hurting my head . . . . it 's coffee ! Just make it hot . * me : * switching the channel to the Eagles game * Whoo ! Yeah baby ! Nixon : Mommy , you need to be quieter , you hurt my ears . Nixon : No it 's not ! The Eagles need to lose win ! me : What did you just say ? ! ? Did you just say the Eagles need to lose ? ! ? In my house ? ! ? Nixon : * laughing * No I said lose win ! me : I don 't even know what that means , but I 'm choosing to only have heard " win " . Nixon : Yeah , I want them to win ! Go Eagles ! ! * and he runs around the living room flapping his arms * Posted by * I picked Nixon up from school today and was given a lovely paperbag gift from him . It 's under the tree because it 's a gift and gifts aren 't opened until Christmas . But Nixon was so happy to give it to me ! When we left , he asked if he could go look at toys at the place with the tunnel . The Target store closest to us has a parking garage and you drive into it and then up , so Nixon always asks if we can go to the " tunnel store " . As I had some things to look at , I agreed laying out ground rules on the drive : no asking for anything , staying with me the whole time and absolutely NO whining / crying / fits . He was awesome and we left without buying anything , even after we walked through the whole toy department . . . twice . * After Target , we went to 5 & Below because I had decided to get a last minute stocking stuffer for Mac from there . Parking was insane , but Nixon was awesome ! We walked around , grabbed the one item I knew I was going to buy , and just wondered around . Mac was sleeping at home , so the longer we were out the better sleep he got . I found an Angry Birds Star Wars launcher toy , something I had looked for last week for Nixon . With only 3 left on the shelf I picked one and showed it to Nixon . His face lit up and he was shocked when I told him I was getting it for him . He asked to carry it and I said yes . That toy turned out to be a life ( and sanity ) saver ! The line to check out was long ! Nixon was so distracted by looking at his Angry Bird box that he hardly made a peep . Occasionally , he 'd ask how much longer we had to wait , but he stayed right next to me the whole time . He was so well - behaved that 2 women standing behind me took a moment to compliment Nixon 's patience ! One lady was so kind , she said she 's seen adults with less patience that my son was showing . When it was finally our turn to go to the register , the two ladies wished Nixon a " Merry Christmas " and thanked me for raising such a well - behaved child . I did admit to them that it was the Angry Birds box in his hands keeping him so calm . I know I 'm no miracle child - whisperer ! But it sure felt nice to hear kind and praising words about Nixon 's behavior especially when we 'd stood in line for almost 20 minutes and on any other day Nixon may have been making those same women cringe and glare at me for my less - than - patient child . But that didn 't happen today ! * " Is it Christmas now ? " I have heard this question at least 5 times an hour , every day , since putting gifts that arrived from Nixon 's nana under the tree . He sees the gifts and knows he can 't open them until Christmas and he asks if it 's Christmas yet . For some reason he expects a different answer than the previous one he was given just moments before . * Nixon chose a small , plastic yo - yo from the toy basket when he saw Santa on Tuesday . He continuously twirled the thing around and was told repeatedly not too , in addition to throwing it which he also had been told not to do . So , it was not a surprise to me , when it broke because the string snapped and the yo - yo smashed into the wall breaking in half in a way that made it unfixable . He started to cry instantly , and instead of being a coddling and loving mom over the broken toy from Santa , I just told him to pick up the pieces and throw it out . Harsh ? Maybe , but he knows that broken toys get thrown out and he had been warned about swinging it and throwing it . * Finally , I was wrapping gifts tonight after I thought Nixon was asleep . Nixon had been in bed for nearly an hour and a half when I started wrapping gifts . It wasn 't until I started wrapping the gifts from the jolly man in the red suit that I hear his door open . I pause , thinking he had to go to the bathroom , and wait . I hear him pass the bathroom and I quickly swept all proof of Santa gifts out of sight and usher him back upstairs ! Nixon 's school had a holiday party this evening . Nixon got to decorate cookies , play with glitter play dough , made a pipe cleaner / bead candy cane and played snowman cornhole . He even got to see Santa , sit on his lap and tell him what he 'd like for Christmas . Nixon was very detailed about the only gift he asked for ! As we left and headed home , it had started to snow . Nixon loved watching the snow falling from the backseat and even better , we went on a little drive and looked at houses with lights and decorations up . Before he went to bed , Nixon declared tonight the " Best night ever ! " . Mac took Nixon to purchase my christmas gift from Nixon . When they were checking out , the cashier asked if they 'd like to purchase a toy for Toys for Tots and said it 'd go to a child who might not have a gift otherwise . Nixon , as soon as he heard that , said " Yeah ! " , and of course Mac agreed . Nixon choose the toy that he wanted to donate and put it into the collection box . When they came and got me , Nixon came running over and said " Mommy , guess what ? ! ? We got a toy for a kid that needs a present . I picked it out and put it in the box ! " , just as happy as could be . Mac explained it to me and I told Nixon that was a very kind and wonderful thing to do for someone else . He says " Yeah , they 'll like the toy , because it 's cool ! " . He may not totally get the concept , but he knew enough to agree to the donation . And he knew the toy wasn 't for him , so he didn 't fight abut putting it in the donation box . Mac was super pleased about that ! He ate breakfast , and offered a great gem of wisdom to Mac when I offered him a cup of coffee . ( Mac , I offered Mac a cup of coffee , not Nixon . In case someone wasn 't following that . ) Nixon tell Mac , who declined my offer , " It 's good for you , Daddy ! " * Speaking of coffee , Mac was making his usual cup of coffee before he goes to work for the night , and for some reason the Keurig was brewing the coffee . He asked me and I tried once , with no luck . I quickly got onto google to troubleshoot issues . Thankfully , the first tip worked ( clear out the puncture points as they get clogged sometimes ) . Nixon kept coming over to see what I was doing and I was trying to remain calm and not flip out that my coffee maker might be broken . I finally got down to his eye level and said very calmly to him " Nixon , I 'm trying to fix my coffee maker . It 's not working right now and you know how important coffee is to me , right ? Please just give me a couple minutes to work on it , okay ? " * Nixon and I had to go to the post office today ( I know , I know ! ) to send off a couple orders I 'd gotten in my etsy shop . We went to the smaller one , closest to the house because I foolishly thought it 'd have a shorter line . It did not . We waited for almost half an hour , but Nixon was really good . He played with the display toys they 've got out ( the post office is inside a local gift shoppe ) and stayed close enough that I could see him and he could hear me . He was really good , a little resistance before we left but nothing horrible . Especially considering he 's not a big fan of lines of people . The store was stupid crowded , people were incredibly rude , and Nixon ? Nixon was his happy " excuse me " self as we passed by someone . He even pointed out a shattered glass ornament to me , and in turn I flagged down an employee so it could be cleaned up before someone cut themselves on it . At the checkout , Nixon helped the lady in line behind us . One of her smaller items almost fell off the belt , Nixon noticed it , caught it and put it back safely . She thanked him and Nixon said " It 's what 's right , right mommy ? " Then he goes on to talk to her about the crayon maker she had in her cart ! " You can make crayon cars with that ! " , he told her very excitedly ! She was so sweet and nice to him . As we were walking out , another woman bumped into Nixon and Nixon said " Oh I 'm sorry , I bumped you " , even though she bumped him . She rolled her eyes at him ! Nixon said , as we kept walking , " She should have said something to me , right mommy ? " . I explained that there are a lot of people in the store and some people don 't realize they bumped someone or don 't remember to use their manners . * Nixon decided this morning he wanted a cool hair style . I gave him a fauxhawk , which looked awesome until it was time to put on his beanie to leave for school . It was no fauxhawk when the beanie came off . He didn 't care , he was happy to be at school with his friends . * Evidently , there 's a tattletale in Nixon 's classroom . This little cutie saw me come to pick Nixon up and he came running up to me " Nixon 's Mommy ! Nixon 's Mommy ! Guess what Nixon did today . . . . " , and then Nixon 's teacher asked the child to stop tattling and told me what happened : Nixon was being whiny and instead of asking for help he 'd say " Someone come help me ! " or " I can 't do this ! " . His teacher would tell him that wasn 't how to ask for help . They worked on it and by the end of his day he was saying the correct " Can you help me please ? " when he needed help . On the drive home , we talked about this . I gave him a couple examples of " right " or " wrong " ways to ask for something . Nixon : Mommy , Santa 's elves are busy making all the toys at the sweatshop in the North Pole . me : What ? Wait . . . work shop or sweatshop ? Nixon : Sweatshop , Mommy . The elves work there . They 're almost done with all the presents . me : Nixon , I think and hope , you mean work shop . Sweat shops are bad places and I don 't think Santa runs a sweat shop . Nixon : Uh - huh ! Santa lives in the work shop , Mommy . I asked him later , after Mac woke up , where the elves worked and Nixon said " They work at Santa 's workshops . Not the other bad places . " Good to know my talk this morning about sweatshops being bad got through to him ! Posted by He had a band - aid on his pinkie and wanted to tell us about his owie . Other than that , he had a great day ! His teachers were happy with him , I was proud of him and best of all , Nixon was smiling and proud to show - off his sticker card for the day ! Just a really great and awesome day at school ! * Nixon comes running in from the kitchen to the living room and says " I LOVE YOU , COOKIE MONSTER ! " . Mac was at work , so I asked him , " Am I Cookie Monster ? " . Nixon says " Yes , and I love you ! " It was just a random outburst of affection for me from Nixon , and I ate it up ! He is wonderful ! I even got snuggles tonight before he went to bed . * Nixon had a serious issue today with whining and talking back . I don 't know what the problem was , but I 'd had enough ! He was just being rude for no reason . At one point , I sent him to his room and Mac decided the spare bedroom was a better place for him no toys . * But he also had his sweet moments too . He cuddled under the blanket on the sofa with me , laying down on my chest and watching TV with me . He was being totally adorable and very loving . I 'll take these moments when I get them . Posted by * Nixon was awake today when I found out his school day was cancelled . School wasn 't cancelled , just delayed but because of the delay , his morning part - time preschool class was cancelled . I asked if he wanted to do what you always do on a snow day : go back to bed , but he said no . I made him a sheet - tent in his room , set him up with his PSP in the tent in his room . * When we came downstairs for the day , his very first question was " Mommy , what 's my snowman look like today ? " . I opened the door and we looked . He was melting but not too bad . He looked pretty much exactly like he looked when I saw it at 1am before going to be ( the picture above ) . He didn 't get to look at his snowman before bed tonight , but right now it 's not looking pretty . But the plus side is , we 're expecting 2 - 6 inches of snow tomorrow , so there 's a chance Nixon will get a real snowman in the next day or two ! " It 's snow ! It 's raining snow from the sky ! " - a winter weather gem from Nixon today . Dec 8th : Nixon and his first ever snowmanDay 342 * Nixon stood by the back door and just watched the fluffy flakes fall . Just awed as they started sticking to the garbage can and the table we have outside . He looked at me and said " Mommy , look ! It 's snow ! It 's raining snow from the sky ! It 's a lot of snow ! " He was so happy ! * I got Nixon bundled up : thermal shirt , tee shirt , sweatshirt , jacket , beanie , gloves , pj bottoms ( because he doesn 't have long johns ) and jeans plus boots . Then I got myself all winter ready and we headed outside ! My baby boy was so excited ! We tossed snow at each other , took a short walk to the backyard and played back there , made a mini - snowman ( Nixon 's first snowman of any kind ! ) . * I made soup today . It was a yummy potato and ham soup . I asked Nixon if he 'd try a bite when it was ready . He had said yes . . . . until the time came to try it . He refused , fought , cried and ultimately asked to go to bed instead of having to eat a BITE of my soup . * Nixon did not go right to sleep . He was in his room , but not yet sleeping . Mac and I were watching Will & Grace and Mac got a little loud with his laughs . Nixon comes down the stairs and says " Daddy , can you please be more quiet ? You 're laughing so loud I can 't sleep . " He also asked if Mac would help him open the fold - out chair in his bedroom for him . Mac apologized for being loud , but said no on the pull - out chair . He told Nixon to go to sleep in his bed . Nixon : Mommy , it 's dark outside , I have to go back to sleep so the sun will come out and it will be a sunny day . me : Sorry baby boy , but it 's time to wake up . Nixon : No Mom , that 's wrong . It 's time for sleep . . . see , the sun is still sleeping . And with that he got back under his blankets . * When I picked him up at school . the little girl who adores Nixon greeted me with " Nixon had a bad day today . He made a lot of bad choices . " . * sigh * I was totally prepared for a meltdown when I found him . It wasn 't bad . He was in the play kitchen area , with one of his teachers , putting away the plates / bowls they had played with . His teacher told me " He had a good day . He came over and asked if he could cook me dinner . He set the table , made me food and then told me he had to clear the table and wash the dishes . He was very polite about it all . " , with a big smile on her face ! As we made our way to the door , his teacher stopped and asked if I knew about the " painting situation " . Oh boy , here it comes , I thought when I heard her say that to the other teacher . It wasn 't that bad . The class was doing a painting project , but Nixon was insistent that he couldn 't do it " because my hands will get yucky with all that messy paint " . His teacher came up with a very good solution : she gave him a pair of gloves to wear . He put them on and had no problem with the paint . So my kid likes to be clean and not make a mess ? Most moms would kill for a kid like that , right ? It 's less the mess and more he doesn 't like the feel of paint on his hands . Either way , he had a great week at school and I couldn 't be happier ! * Driving in the car today , Nixon suddenly says " Mommy , someone is talking to you . It 's a little boy named Nixon ! " I had to laugh , because he was the only other person in the car with me , but because it was raining and kind of crappy out , I was so focused on driving I wasn 't exactly listening to him . Posted by * Nixon went to bed last night without BeBe . . . well , big BeBe that is . He slept with Blue BeBe . Somehow this bear has gone missing . He 's in the house , but damned if we know where . * Nixon has been playing with a balloon since Friday when Mac gave it to him and he figured out how to inflate it on his own . He 'll inflate it part way and then let the air out . He 's done it some much that . . . the inevitable happened and his balloon popped on him tonight . He was fine about it , until he realized the balloon was ruined and he would never be able to play with it again . * Every night I read Nixon his bedtime story , I read it to him in his bed with him . I snuggle under the blankets with him and read the story to him while he lies right next to me . Tonight , when I was all done with his story , I sang a silly song about his stinky toes until he asked me to stop . Then I tickled him until he decided we had to hide , under the blankets , from Mac who was coming up to say his own good night to Nixon . * Nixon woke up this morning and was ready to find R2D2 . He finally found him . . . . " sliding " down the wall in the living room . Nixon was so upset ! He told me " Mommy , he has to come down ! It 's not safe up there ! " , then to looks right at R2 and says " R2 come down here ! " . He even got annoyed that R2 wasn 't listening to him . * When I picked Nixon up from school , he came running over and said " Mommy , I made some bad choices , but a lot of good choices too ! " His teacher came over and said " He made all good choices today . He had a good day today . " His face lit up when I told him we were on our way to go pick up the tress and other decorations ! He was so excited he said " Hey everybody ! I 'm going to go get my tree so I can decorate it for Santa now ! " as he was leaving his classroom . ( By the way , I think it 's adorable that the kids in Nixon 's class will talk to me about random things and I 'm always " Hey , Nixon 's mom " before they start talking to me . Today the little girl who likes Nixon told me about the big green tree she has at her house : " Hey , um . . . Nixon 's mom , I have a big green one at my house ! " When I asked her if she had a big green tree , she said " Yeah ! It 's a big one too ! " Kids are kind of awesome ! ) * And decorate the trees we did ! We also decorated the windows with some fake snowflakes and Nixon decorated some small wooden ornaments . Nixon told me , while I was setting up our tree , " Wow , Mommy , you 're doing a great job ! That looks amazing ! " , and there wasn 't an ounce of sarcasm in his voice when he said it ! He did clean his room . . . . it just took most of the day to do it . * Nixon was true to his word last night : he didn 't wake me up until he cleaned his room . Unfortunately , he and I have differing definitions of " clean " when it comes to his room . He thought separating his toys into piles on his floor was clean , while I told him all his toys needed to be put back into his buckets and be up off the floor . He went back to clean his room , well pick up his toys as it were , and he came back to me and said " Mommy , it 's too big a job for one person . " , which was his way of asking me for help . I gave him all day to clean the room without pressure . I had no plans for the day , other than going to the storage unit and getting the holiday stuff . He eventually asked to take a nap and finished when he woke up . * I spent the evening making room for our tree in the living room , by rearranging the furniture ( again ! ) and vacuuming . Nixon helped by picking up laundry and throwing out trash whenever I asked him too . It was late , close to his bedtime , by the time I was done with that , so tomorrow while he 's in school or after I pick him up I 'll go to the storage unit and we 'll get to putting the trees up and everything like that . * Nixon woke me up super excited because he found R2D2 . . . in his room ! He said " Mom ! Guess what ? ! R2 is in my window ! How did he get there ? " The joy and happiness in his voice when he finds R2 every day is just amazing and priceless . * The day started out not so good . . . My phone shut itself off during the night , so I woke up late . Which meant I woke Nixon up late . He wasn 't really excited to wake up until I told him it was school day . Then he was almost too upset to get up because he was going to miss me . Eventually , with the help of some fresh - from - the - dryer - clothes , Nixon was ready for school . * After school , which Nixon had a mostly good day at , he and I had a wonderful mom & me date at the local mall followed by lunch at Denny 's . We rode the little train they 've got set up at the mall , which Nixon was so happy I let him ride because the last time we were at the mall he didn 't get to ride it . He also got to see the giant fish tank at the mall and see the pufferfish , his favorite fish in the tank . * Tonight , as Nixon got ready for bed , he asked about our tree and other holiday decorations . They 're all in our storage unit at the moment , but I told him if he cleans up his whole room before I wake up in the morning we can go get everything tomorrow and start decorating . He was so excited he almost didn 't go to sleep , he wanted to stay up and clean his room . * Nixon woke up this morning and was overjoyed when he saw R2D2 waiting for him ! He was a little more excited when he saw C3PO in the window . He tried telling me that C3PO needed to be with R2 , but I assured him 3PO was fine where he was . " He 's in the window to let Santa know there 's a good little boy in the house . If he 's gone he 's probably talking to Santa , you don 't want that . " * Santa was the theme of the day . Nixon and I went out together to grab dinner . On the drive there Nixon and I start talking about Santa and what he ( Nixon ) is going to ask for . Nixon : Oh , I want a race track , for my cars . And new cars , for the race track so they are fast cars . And Fluttershy . Nixon : Oh no ! See , mommy , it 's like this : The elves make the toys with magic . They take something blank and * whoosh * magic makes it a toy . Santa brings the elves with him , so they make the * whoosh * at each house . See ? Enough room ! * Friday we kind of chilled . Well actually , we woke up early and hit the only Black Friday sale we cared about : Third Eye Comics ! Thankfully , we missed most of the crazy insanity by avoiding the midnight madness sale and just went during the regular sale hours . * Saturday was a rough one , but I did manage to make a learning lesson out of my own misery / stupidity . I spent Friday night out with a few people and did a little more harm than I 'd intended with my drinking . Mac was wonderful about keeping Nixon quiet ' ish , while I was sleeping . Later , Nixon asked me why I wasn 't feeling well . I told him the truth : I drank too much last night and my body is recovering but it 's a little slow . I told him , someday 15 years from now , he might also feel this way and I will be as nice as he was to me . Which , was really nice , so he 's lucky . He came over and gave me a kiss on the head and told me he loved me . Since Saturday was the last day of the month , Mac and I put out our special holiday helper , R2D2 ! I did this last year with Nixon and he loved it ! R2 is our little reporter to Santa , like elf of the shelf but a geekier version ! Happy Thanksgiving , y ' all ! Nixon and I spent the day in our jammies and never left the house . We watched the Macy 's parade in the morning together and then had to turn off the cable because it was acting all wonky . I 'm going out tomorrow night with a few people Mac works with , who I met Tuesday . I haven 't gone out with anyone in well over 6 months . As Nixon was getting ready to go to bed , I told that tomorrow night he and Daddy would be doing his bedtime because I was going out with some friends . He freaked out and started crying ! He was convinced he was never going to see me again , and I was leaving him forever ! I mean , this was a for real freak out ! I 've never seen him do this before ! It took me over 45 minutes to get him to finally stop crying and calm down so I could read him a bedtime story ! * I was lucky enough to be given the morning to sleep in . And sleep in I did . I didn 't get out of bed until almost 11 : 15am . When Nixon saw me he said " Mommy , your hair is a mess ! " , child 's honesty knows no bounds . * I took Nixon to Third Eye Comics today , to catch up on my comic books , and Nixon was a gem . As I was cashing out he was playing with these fingertip tentacles . He likes to make an entire hand of them . I was done and ready to leave , Nixon was staying put continuing to add more tentacles to his hand . I said " Nixon , you need to come here now or I 'm leaving without you " . He suddenly runs up after me and says " MOM ! You can 't leave without me . I 'm a little boy and you have to take me with you . " , I tell him " But you 're cute , I 'm sure someone else would take you home and keep you safe , especially since you never want to listen to me . " , his reply was simply awesome " But no one else is my mommy like you are . You have to take me home because I belong with you ! " Yes , yes you do , my love . * Nixon got his library card today ! He was so proud , so happy and so excited ! He picked out 3 books and a dvd to check out . He even chose a book for me ! He was wonderful and loves the library . * Monday morning Nixon woke up excited about the library . I really should 've checked out the hours before I told him we 'd go on Monday . . . . our closest branch didn 't open until 1pm on Mondays ! To say he was disappointed would be an understatement . I 'm pretty sure he was beginning to think the library was an imaginary place . We did have to go grocery shopping , since we were celebrating Thanksgiving on Tuesday and I was making several dishes including the turkey and ham . We grabbed some McDonald 's before going as Mac hadn 't eaten yet , and Nixon got a Happy Meal . Turns out that was the best choice , as it kept him seated and quiet while I did the shopping . It wasn 't crowded but I did have a couple multiple lists to shop off of . He went to bed as usual on Monday night , feeding Scootaloo first . He got super excited because he noticed Scootaloo had gotten a little bigger ! Nixon says " good morning " and " good night " to Scootaloo every day , and every day Scootaloo is looking right at him seeming to be returning the greetings . * Tuesday started super early . We had a good friend come over to spend the day with us and start cooking the big dinner in the afternoon with me . The three of us made a quick trip out for a couple errands and then grabbed donuts for breakfast on the way home . We had an awesome , bacon - themed Thanksgiving meal made . So what 's Nixon ask for , for dinner ? Peanut butter and jelly sandwich . Yep . . . . bacon wrapped green beans , bacon wrapped stuffing balls , bacon deviled eggs , ranch mashed potatoes , stuffing , gravy , ham , bacon wrapped boneless turkey breast , green bean casserole and pumpkin pies ! And Nixon says " Mommy , this food smells stinky . I think I 'd like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich please . " Sonuvabitch ! In other news , Nixon is still dealing with a cold . He 's had it for over a couple weeks now mostly a runny nose and a cough . No fever and not at all lethargic , just a snot faucet for a nose . He " blahed " in the morning , tripped over the cat and calmed himself by listening to my heartbeat . Last night I spent the night moving flies onto an external hard drive and then backed up my laptop . After that I defragged and cleaned my hard drive . . . turns out that took a lot longer than I had expected . It was still running when I went to bed last night . This morning Nixon comes into the bedroom and tells me he " blahed " Nixonese for vomited . I go into the bathroom and he did , in the toilet , but it didn 't look like anything serious . I tucked him back into bed and went back to sleep myself . He came back in a couple hours later and said he " blahed " again . He 's had an awful wet cough lately , my thoughts were that he was coughing too hard and ended up bringing something up . Nixon and Amber were both in the kitchen with me . Some how , Nixon ended up getting tripped by Amber and fell hard on his knees and hands on the kitchen floor . He was good about it , even apologized to Amber for falling over her . I iced his knee , while he sat down on the love seat . He 's in bed now , has been for almost 2 hours . He woke up crying a bit ago . He always wakes up crying when I put the vaporizer in his room . The odd thing is ( odd as in this is a total mom thing ) the heat is running and I have the TV on , his bedroom door is closed and I still heard him without him ever getting out of bed . I get into his room and snuggle him . He always says the most incoherent things when he 's half - asleep . Tonight he told me he needed to go downstairs because he lost me and I was falling . I assured him I was not lost , I was holding him and we were not falling . He asked to listen to my heartbeat , so I let him listen to it . He relaxed in a few seconds and was ready to get back under his blankets . This kid kills me he 's so sweet . * Nixon woke up this morning very excited for school ! He was excited to give his teacher the card he made for her . We took him to school and he went right over to her , handed her the card and said " I 'm sorry I pulled my pants down . " , gave her a hug and was off to the playground with the rest of his class . We never mentioned the fish , I wanted him to be good in class because he knew he should be not because he wanted his fish . There was some serious anxiety in my chest as we headed into his classroom . It was all for naught ! Nixon had a wonderful day ! When I heard that and we got him out to the car , I told him we were going to get him his fish today ! Holy cow was he excited ! ! * At bedtime , Nixon came down stairs to tell me " Mommy , Scootaloo isn 't going to sleep ! He 's still playing , even though I told him he needs to go to sleep now ! " . I mean , for real , how cute is that ? ! ? ! I took him back to bed and explained that Scootaloo isn 't like us or the cats , meaning he won 't lie down to sleep Instead he 'll drift peacefully in one spot or hide in the plant in his bowl , but he needs to move a little to breathe . Nixon said " Oh , well that 's okay , but I need my sleep ! " as if Scootaloo was being noisy in his tank and keeping Nixon awake . * Watching Bubble Guppies tonight , Nixon saw an episode about the library . He asked me if he can go get a book about baby kitties . I told him we 'll go next week ( because of the Thanksgiving holiday , Nixon has the week off from school ) and we 'll get books . He was really into it , telling me what books I should get and Daddy should get . Why hadn 't I thought of this before ? ! ? ! ? Day 2 as a 5 - year - old verdict : Not a total loss . From the get - go today had a vibe about it . Not a bad one , but a change . Nixon woke up and was kind of awesome , maybe in part to the blanket fort I set up for him last night before I went to bed . When it was time for breakfast , he started pouting / talking back and refused to go to his room when I told him too . The end result ? No TV before nap time . We did play games , action figures and made his teacher a card for tomorrow . Nixon did help me make scrambled eggs this morning . He helped me crack all the eggs and even broke 2 of his own ( 1 totally on his own ! ! ) with very few pieces of shell falling into the bowl . They were large enough that I could pick them out before mixing the eggs . After our nap , yes I took a nap as well . . . we 're all fighting a cold . Nixon asked for a snack and to watch TV . I waited until he asked the correct way AND apologized for this morning . It went like this " Mommy , please can I apologize for not listening and for pouting this morning ? AndnowcanIwatchTVplease ? ! ? " He got one hour of shows , then Mac got to choose what we watched , then dinner time and after dinner came bath time to bedtime . Overall , today was NOT a horrific day . We did spend a little more time talking about good behavior at school , respecting his teachers and also how to be a gracious winner . He is an overly celebratory winner which I 'm going to help work on with him . Nixon and his Ace McCloud from Centurions , taking a break from our good vs evil " battles " He woke up and was kind of awesome . He was excited to get ready for school and share his birthday cupcakes . We got to school and he wanted to play with the toys but the class was going outside . . . . I left , letting the teachers do what they do . I made purple cupcakes at home for him , totally ready to celebrate Nixon 's birthday . Instead , I was greeted by a crying child who told me " Mommy , you 're heart 's going to be sad . I had a bad day at school . " when I entered his classroom . And oh boy , he was not lying ! My newly 5 - year old son was defiant , crass , disrespectful and last but by no means least , exposed himself . All to a teacher . He entered the teacher 's office area , was asked to come out , refused , asked to come out again , yelled and refused again , when the teacher went in to the office to bring him out Nixon pulled his pants and undies down . . . this happened 3 times before they got him to keep his undies on and his pants only dropped to his knees . ( This was told to me as if I should be comforted by this " progress " ) . Nixon and I talked about this in the car . We talked about it when we got home . I finally came up with a punishment by the time Mac woke up and the 3 of us talked about it . Nixon is not phased by spankings , or taking things away , or spending time in his room without toys , but he has been looking forward to getting a pet fish for weeks now . We had planned on doing it for his birthday , taking him to pick out his own fish . I decided to put that on pause and told him we 're going to wait to see how he behaves on Friday in school . The tank is set up , in his room , it 's just waiting for a fish . But it 's not happening right now . Just talking to him about what happened he was dismissive , rude ( looking away , trying to get away from me while I 'm talking to him ) and . . . . I just don 't know what was going on in his head . By bedtime he was better . He snuggled with me for a bit , after he managed to fall off the love seat in the living room , and had a blanket bunker he was hiding under watching his psp before Mac left for work . We even went out to get our traditional Taco Bell dinner we 've done every year since Nixon 's birth . As I was putting him to bed , I was talking to him telling him how much I loved him and he starts moving his hand mimicking me as I was talking . I stopped talking and just looked at him . He kept doing it , I still said nothing , just looked at him waiting for him to stop . He didn 't so I left his room and didn 't say goodnight . ' Tis was the night before my baby turned 5 and being the only one awake in the house , my eyes were totally dry and yes , I am also surprised ! * Today was rough , but not because of anything Nixon did . I had my first real , painful migraine in a few years . I woke up with it and it got progressively worse as the day went on . Mac let me nap before he napped today . Nixon was pretty quiet , thankfully . When it was time for me to get up , Nixon came up and asked me if my head was feeling better . It wasn 't , and I couldn 't even lie to him . He gave my head a kiss . * Nixon asked me what my head felt like . I was flinching when he made noise and he noticed it . I explained it as best I could : It feels like I had a troll in my head , with a shovel and he was digging deep in my brain and scooping out parts of my brain every time I heard a loud noise . Nixon looked at me , eyes wide , and says " Ouch ! " , then walks up to my head , kissed it and said ( very softly ) into my ear " Now you leave mommy 's head you mean troll ! " * Tonight , Nixon headed up to bed at 745pm . After he brushed his teeth , and put Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to bed in his bed since they " wanted to sleep without me " according to Nixon , I tucked him into my bed for the night . I was lying there , telling him how much I loved him . . . grateful I was he was mine , how happy he made me , all the mushy things I had swirling in my head right before he turns 5 . He was listening , until he rolled away from me and said " Shh , I 'm sleepy . I have a big day tomorrow . I 'm going to be 5 ! " , as if I didn 't already know ! * Today we had Nixon 's birthday party . It was a super small event , only us and 2 friends . I decorated while Nixon napped and when he woke up he said " Wow ! These are the best decorations ever ! This is my best party ever ! " He did get his My Little Pony theme . He loved it ! * He got a Rainbow Dash pony for his birthday . We took him to Build - A - Bear and did the whole thing together with our friends who bought it for him as his gift . He loved it all ! * He also got his fish tank ready for his fish . We 'll get his fish either tomorrow or Wednesday . . . we 'll see how our days go . Mac bought him Centurion figures with accessories , a couple MASK vehicles and an entire lot of new Star Wars figures ! Nixon was over - the - moon excited about it ! The best part was hearing him say , repeatedly , that today was a great day and this was his best party ever ! There was really nothing special about the party , other than he was totally surrounded by people who love him . The day Nixon awed people in public . . . because he is awesome ! not awful . * Nixon was outstandingly impressive today , while running errands with me ! First , the Post Office : Nixon loves our little local po . . . * Nixon was playing with his Lego 's today . First he made 2 Tie - fighters , then he made a Podracers . He was so proud of the podracer , . . . |
I immediately started baking some goodies for Deegan 's birthday party . I normally take the Friday off before my kids ' parties but I 'm saving my vacation days for an awesome vacation this coming summer . So , I have to get things done throughout the week in order to have everything ready by Saturday . I wanted to make some cookies that I have no idea what they are called but my friend informed me that they are called haystacks . You use butter , vanilla , sugar , oats , cocoa , and peanut butter on the stove . They are my dad 's favorite cookie . I finished off the night by making a cookie cake ( Deegan 's favorite ) . All the while I was making all this stuff , I did manage to make dinner as well . It was a super busy , but productive , night . Today , I weighed in at Weight Watchers . I did not do well with my diet from Thursday to Sunday . I didn 't track anything . Monday , I started tracking again . I knew I had gained from those days that I didn 't track . It really works IF you track ! So , I 've lost 2 . 2 lbs since last Wednesday 's weigh in . I 'll take that ! So far , I 've lost a total 9 . 2 lbs . Tonight when I got home , I made buttercream frosting and fondant and decorated Deegan 's birthday cake . I 'm always anxious until I get the cake done . So , I feel a little at ease now that that is done . I still have the fireplace wall to finish and then decorate for his theme . When I got home , it was a - painting - that - I - went . We want the beadboard to stand out , so I didn 't paint it yellow . I want to make it look like it 's been there forever . So , I decided to make it look like whitewash to begin with . I don 't like it so I 'm going to try a different technique . This morning was quite eventful for me . When I left the house this morning , I realized I had about 57 miles left until empty . I forgot to get gas yesterday and I normally refill my gas when I have about 115 miles left . I was hoping once I got on the road that it would show more miles left , but that didn 't happen . First of all , I don 't like stopping in Camilla that early in the morning . It 's kind of sketchy ! So , the next place to stop would be Sylvester . Well , Sylvester 's gas is always about 20 cents higher than Tifton so I don 't like stopping there . I had about 17 miles left when I got to Sylvester . I thought I could possibly make it to Tifton on that . Well , I hadn 't even made it to Ty Ty and I have miles left to go when I look down and I 'm at 0 miles left ! ! ! My heart is racing and I 'm just praying that I 'll make it to Ty Ty . There 's two speed drops going into Ty Ty and I didn 't drop my speed in case my car died . I wanted to be able to have momentum built up to make it to the gas station . Well , there are two gas stations in Ty Ty and I pass up the first one because the one past that had a digital sign and a lower price on gas . So , when I pull up and turn off my car , I noticed that the lights were out at the pumps . Yup , they weren 't open ! ! ! I 'm freaking out at this point . Will my car start again ? Will I make it back to the gas station that I passed up ? Yes , my car did start and , yes , I did make it to the other gas station . I went ahead and filled all the way up even though I knew gas was cheaper in Tifton . I ended up putting almost 21 gallons in my car . The most I 've ever put in it was about 19 gallons . I 'd say I didn 't have much left to get me anywhere . I 'm just glad that I made it to a gas station and not on the side of the road with two kids . When I got home from work , I painted the beadboard white again . Then , I stenciled in yellow paint along the two side trim pieces . I didn 't really want the stencil to show up too much . I wanted it to look old school . I absolutely love it and think it looks like it 's been there forever . We are not done with the wall though . We will be adding some shelves to it to give it a more built - in look . I didn 't sleep well last night and woke up almost sick to my stomach . Today is Deegan 's birthday party and I haven 't even decorated yet . So , yes , that stresses me out ! I woke up about 7am and started laundry and then headed to the kitchen to start cleaning and decorating . After everyone left , I started cleaning up and taking all the decorations down . I was ready for a nap so I laid down , but that didn 't go anywhere . So , I went outside to check on Brandon . I noticed that our potatoes and green beans are coming in . Yay ! Before we went to bed , we went to check on the eggs in the incubator . I asked Brandon what we were looking for and he said a spot and then veins coming out of it . Well , about the third egg in , we see it . To me , it looks like a spider inside the egg . So , we had about 8 or more eggs that had that . Maybe we will have some baby chicks in about 2 weeks . The kids went outside when they woke up . They came running back inside and said that " dad had caught a cat in his trap " . So , I peeked out of the back door and noticed a cat in a trap in the backyard . Brandon told them to let it out . Well , the cat ended up hanging around us all day . Brandon said it was a girl and she just had kittens . ( Not sure where the kittens are . ) She looked skinny so Brandon fed her a hot dog . He started messing around on the tractor and I got to use my new jigsaw to cut out the door hangers . I painted just about half of the day . I get so in the zone when I do that kind of stuff . I got 6 door hangers painted . When we were leaving the house this morning , the cat was still outside . So , I guess I 'll be buying some cat food today . It 's a fluffy calico . Very cute ! When we got home , the kids were searching for the cat . I told Deegan to let me know if they found her . About 10 minutes later , he comes running inside and said " we found her ! " So , I got two bowls out and put cat food in one and water in the other and stuck it on the back porch . She ran up to it and started eating for the longest time . She must have been really hungry . So , I guess now we have a pet cat . Right now , we are at 18 chickens , 2 ducks , and 1 cat . We are still trying to determine a name for her . Deegan wants to name her Melissa . I told him , no . Melissa is not a cat name . LOL When I got home from work , Brandon decided to let the ducks swim in the tub . It was so fun watching them . They were so happy . They are growing so fast , it 's crazy . When I was leaving , I tried to look where we had put the trap and I didn 't see the trap . So , I called Brandon and asked him where the trap was . He said that we caught a opossum and he didn 't have time this morning to deal with it so he stuck the trap under one of the bushes . Deegan had an orthodontist appointment today which took a while . He has a permanent tooth coming in better so they added a bracket on that tooth today . I let them know that his birthday was next Friday so when they were done working on him , they got everyone 's attention and sang to him . He just loved me for that . LOL Today is Peaches to Beaches which is a 200 mile long yard sale . We started the day waking up at 4 : 30am and left the house by 5 : 40am . We drove all the way to Perry and got there right before 8am . Overall , I think we did well today . It was a lot of fun as always . We had to take both of the kids since they were out of school today . They behaved well . Of course , we got them things today . Deegan brought some of his money with him today in case he saw something he wanted . We came to one yard sale that had a huge picture of the Challenger team and another huge picture of the Discoverer . I looked at the price and the tag on the Challenger said $ 100 but we weren 't sure how much the Discoverer picture was . So , he asked the lady and it was her husband 's and he said that it was $ 100 for both pictures . Well that meant that if the guy split it , the Discoverer would be at least $ 50 . Deegan had brought $ 40 so he asked me for $ 10 so he could get the picture . I told him no . I didn 't want him spending all of his money on one picture . He was quite upset about it and pouted . So , we left that yard sale and went across the street to another one . At this yard sale , Deegan found two telescopes and asked how much . The guy said $ 3 and Deegan was super excited . So , Deegan handed the guy a $ 20 and I asked Deegan how much change should he be getting back . Well , the guy didn 't have change for a $ 20 so I took the $ 20 and gave Deegan $ 10 and the guy $ 10 . So , I asked Deegan again how much money should he be getting back . He said $ 8 . I said , " OK , that sounds right " and laughed . Then , Deegan said $ 7 . When we walked back to the truck , I told Deegan , " See , if you had spent all your money on that picture , you wouldn 't have been able to get these telescopes . " Later down the road , Deegan discovered that he was given $ 8 back . I guess he confused the guy or the guy was just being nice . Dawson kept getting free stuff because she 's just so darn cute . We came across an HO scale CSX engine and caboose for $ 10 . Deegan asked the lady if she would sell it to him for $ 10 . I died laughing . She told him that she would sell it to him for $ 8 . We knew he had 8 $ 1 bills , so I told him to give her all the ones . That train was given to her husband by someone that worked for CSX . When we walked away , again , I told Deegan , " See , you would have missed out on that train if you had bought that picture . " I also explained to him that if the price on something is $ 10 , you don 't ask if they will sell it for $ 10 , you ask if they 'll sell it for less than $ 10 . It was funny . I 'm trying to teach him how to bargain ! LOL Later down the road , Deegan discovered that he had 2 $ 1 bills in his wallet with his other cash . So , he had only given the lady $ 6 for the CSX train . He bought a box full of HO scale and N scale trains and layout accessories for $ 18 . Overall , I think he had a good day . We ended the day of shopping at 6pm and headed home . I think the best buy was a Jenny Lind toddler bed at only $ 20 ! ! ! Those beds go for around $ 400 . I can 't wait to fix it up and sell it ! I decided to finish painting the hallway upstairs . Previously , I had painted all of the downstairs hallways then headed up the stairs but ran out of paint . So , I got some more a while back but haven 't had a moment to paint . I ran out of paint again ! And , I couldn 't reach one spot of the wall where the stairs are . We need to borrow a taller ladder and finish that up . Brandon worked on the fireplace wall . The goal is to get it somewhat finished before the party . We want this wall to stand out around the fireplace so we are going to use the bead board we found months ago and trim out the fireplace . Also , we had gotten a huge round mirror from the farmhouse from a dresser we left behind because it was too far gone . We are going to use the round mirror above the fireplace . Tonight , we finished The Martian . It is a REALLY good movie ! Deegan especially liked it because it had to do with space ( his birthday theme this year ) ! Before we went to bed , we got our flashlights and weather radio out in case we needed them for the storm . It started pouring down rain about 10 : 30ish and sounded horrible throughout the night . The weather radio went off several times really loudly . That was annoying . Brandon set his alarm for 3 : 30am but when he woke up it still sounded horrible outside . So , he stayed home . We woke up around 8am and all was clear and beautiful outside . Brandon got ready and headed to work . My goal for today was to start decorating for Easter . Fun day ! I started in the front entrance / hallway . While I was decorating that table , the kids came in from outside and brought two bird eggs that had fallen out of a pine tree in the backyard . Brandon told me to wrap them up in a paper towel to keep them warm . We are going to try and hatch them . Brandon let me know this morning that he saw two deer off of Hwy 97 . When I was headed to work , I came across three deer . I had to slam my breaks on so I wouldn 't hit them as they crossed the road and everything that was in my passenger seat fell into the floorboard . Someone was selling an antique washstand for $ 50 on Facebook today . I asked Brandon if I could get it . I was thinking of using this as the vanity in the upstairs bathroom . I picked it up after I picked up Dawson from school . It took us until around 11pm to finish getting everything from his old house to his new place . We still had to go get the kids from the in - laws ' house then go home . I was just ready to climb into bed . Brandon was the one wanting to drive home . It takes an hour and a half from his parents ' house . When we got to their house , we warmed up some pizza they had gotten for dinner . His mom asked if we were spending the night . I knew she wasn 't going to let us drive home that late ! Brandon caved … . and we spent the night . His dad cooked us some breakfast then we headed out of town . But first , we made a pit stop at Bob 's nursery in Tifton . $ 250 later , we had 5 1 gallon Leland Cypress trees , 2 3 gallon Leland Cypress trees , 4 Stuart Pecan trees , 1 Cape Fear Pecan tree , 2 blueberry bushes , and 3 blackberry bushes . Well , I picked up the kids then headed way out of the way to get the dresser and I could not get it to fit in my car . I have a sporty SUV so with all the curves , it just wouldn 't fit . So , Brandon is going to have to come to Tifton tomorrow to pick it up . After I put the kids to bed and Brandon was asleep , I was watching TV in the bedroom when I heard something . It sounded like something fell . I start practically beating Brandon to wake him up then we search all over and find nothing . So , we go to bed . When I got up this morning and went to the kitchen , I found my ivy from on top of my kitchen cabinets on the floor . So , I immediately think that this must have been the sound that I heard . I think nothing of it … . . pick it up and put it on the counter and leave . A bunch of us from work started Weight Watchers today at ABAC . I weighed more than I thought I would . Not good ! I 'm excited to start this journey ! When I got home from work , I started cooking dinner on the stove … . in the oven . I get everyone 's plate made and we go to the living room to watch a movie , Fantastic Four . So , not far into the movie , we hear a loud crash like something fell again ! So , I run to the kitchen and the kids run right behind me … . Brandon is pausing the movie and when I walk into the kitchen , I see items from on top of my kitchen cabinets on the floor and Dawson is standing right next to them . I turn to tell Brandon that there has got to be something up there and when I turn back around to look at the items … . . I see a SNAKE ( # 3 ) trying to crawl up the front of the stove with it 's tongue sticking out . I immediately yell at Dawson to move away and ( bless her heart ) I scared the crap out of her and she started screaming and running away . Brandon went and got his gloves while Deegan kept his eye on it . I went to grab a flashlight because it started crawling under the stove . Brandon yanked the stove away from the wall trying to get it and it crawled into the cabinets . So , I shone the flashlight on it so he could see it . I went and grabbed the fireplace tools for him to use to get the snake . He gets it and pulls it out and it 's an oak snake or grey rat snake . Either way , it was non - venomous . When he came in , we put everything back in place . I threw some moth balls into the fireplace . I think that 's where it came in from . I told him that we needed to do a house check before bed . So , it took some time , but we walked the whole house and didn 't find any more . That didn 't make me sleep any better at night ! ! ! I stayed up as long as I could before my body was just ready to shut down . When Brandon left the house at 4 : 30am , I 'm pretty sure I heard something coming from our Master Bathroom . So , I get up on my knees on our bed and I reach around the wall to turn the light switch on in the bathroom and I look at the floor beside the bed and get out of bed and go check out the bathroom . I couldn 't find anything but I sure as heck could not go back to sleep . So , I got my phone and played on it for a while . Then , my body shutdown again but minutes later my alarm went off so it was time to get ready for work . Last night , I heard sounds over and over coming from under the Master Bathroom . I 'm pretty sure it 's a big rat under the house or in the walls . But , it kept me up pretty much all night . He stopped by and bought some trim for the rooms upstairs . There used to be carpet up there and someone ripped it out and there is a huge gap all the way around all the rooms up there . You can clearly see into the attic . When we got home , I noticed that the neighbor finally put in a mailbox at the end of his drive . I told Brandon that and he said that he saw the mail lady come to ours , turn around , deliver his and then go on . So , that means that she is not delivering mail to the mailbox down the easement . YAY ! She shouldn 't have to do that when he has a mailbox at his own residence that 's in another location . When we were on our way to the first nursery , we stopped at a Tractor Supply on the way . Hoping to see what chicks or ducks they had . But , they were out . While we were there , we looked at getting something for Brandon to be able to water plants up front . We ended up leaving with a new Spot Sprayer . Then , we went to Mark 's Nursery where they had better prices . We got 4 1 gallon Leland Cypress trees , 4 3 gallon Leland Giants , and 1 Peach tree . $ 90 I woke up and started cleaning the house and doing laundry . My hopes were to tackle cleaning the dining room . I know that it 's getting on Brandon 's nerves . Stuff that we 've retrieved from the farm is in there as well as stuff for my booth . After lunch , we went outside to continue planting . We had set a trap the night before to try and catch what is under the Master Bathroom . When we checked it , the cheese was completely gone and the trap hadn 't gone off . Brandon tried to make it go off and it was broke . Just great ! So now we are feeding the thing . LOL We need to get the trap fixed or use the bigger one and try and get it … . now , especially since it thinks nothing will happen if it goes in . We planted all the 1 gallon Leland Cypress trees down the side of the property line . I was being silly and using the pots as shoes . Dawson thought that was funny so she did the same thing and used one as a hat . Brandon and I have been needing to get the four bushes that are left in the front of the house out . So , we tackled that next . He got the tractor and tied a chain around the bush and yanked it . But , these were some strong bushes . He had to get his chainsaw to help him out . Today is the second day after starting the gym . It seems to always be the most sore day when starting the gym back . I am super sore and am moving very slow . When I got home with the kids , I started dinner . While I was making dinner , I sat with Dawson and read her book from school with her . When Brandon got done outside and came inside , he sat with Dawson and drew a picture for her based on the story from the book . She picked out the colors and told him what to draw . I wasn 't feeling well and progressively got worse as the day went on . My head was pounding so bad I was about in tears . I ended up leaving work early . When I got home , I took some medicine and laid down . When Brandon got home , he starting working on the fence to the left side of our house where the easement used to be . It took him about an hour to put one post in . When he came inside , I made some dinner and took some PM medicine . We ate in the living room and watched the movie Pixels . I tried so hard to stay up for the whole movie but I ended up falling asleep probably halfway through it . When I got off of work , I went and got the kids and headed to Valdosta . Brandon and I want to do a date night tonight and mom and dad said they would watch the kids . When Brandon and I went to leave , I was standing by his truck and he was right behind me which shocked me because he was going to open the door for me …… . so I thought . Weeks ago , I watched a man open the door for a woman and told him , " Someone used to do that for me … . LOL " . So , he opens the door and the seat and floorboard are full of seed potatoes that he just purchased . LOL He had to move them out of the way . So , we headed to town and we decided that we wanted to eat at Cheddar 's before going to the movie . It was about 5pm so it wasn 't so packed and we got great service . After we were done , Brandon walked me to my side of the truck and opened the door for me . How sweet ! Then , we went shopping at Gander Mountain to waste some time before the movie started . Brandon did not open the door for me when leaving Gander Mountain . 😦 We went to see Dead Pool and as we were waiting on the movie to start , we saw a woman walk in with two small children that looked to be about 3 and 4 years old . Brandon quickly said that based on things he had read on the movie that this was NOT a movie for small children . Shortly after that , another woman walks in with three boys that looked to be about 10 to 12 years old . Brandon just shook his head . Well , throughout the whole movie there is really bad language , some nudity and some other stuff that is just NOT appropriate for children . Not once , did those people get up and leave . I just could NOT believe it . The movie is definitely an adult movie . I wasn 't looking forward to watching it based off of the preview I had seen , but I have to say … . I really enjoyed it …… although it could have done without all the things I just said about it though . If you go see it , you need to stay through the credits … . there is something at the very end to see . When we went to the truck , Brandon opened the door for me ! OveralGuys , I have to just say this …… . women LOVE when you do small gestures such as opening the car door for her or touching the small of her back or kissing her forehead . It really doesn 't take much to make us happy . These small gestures show us that you really care for us and it makes us feel special . Never hesitate to make your woman feel special ! Some miniature baskets and miniature cheese grater that I got for decoration for my house . Some lady asked me when I was buying the tiny baskets what I was planning on doing with them …… if ya 'll know how sarcastic I am … . I so badly wanted to answer her , " Go pick berries with them " . But , I just let it go . Then , Brandon and I went into the kitchen and noticed some old spice tins . He climbed up on the cabinet and noticed something on the top shelf . He sounded excited and when he showed me what it was … . I was excited … . it was an egg scale . Then , I headed upstairs to work on the kids ' playroom . It looks horrible … . like a bomb went off in there . We had gotten a dresser from the trailer at the farm so I used it for storage in there . It took me about 4 hours to go through the room . Today , I got news that our farm in Thomasville is officially under contract . I met the buyer over the past weekend and he was super nice . I 'm glad that the property is going to a good family who will appreciate it . Brandon had a follow up appointment concerning his hip / leg issue . His appointment was at 3 : 45 and we got there at 3 : 30 . We got called to the back within a few minutes of being there . The nurse asked him questions and typed it into the computer and then said the doctor would be in shortly . We sat in the room for about an hour before the doctor came in . Then , it was just repeating everything we just told the nurse . I insisted that he be referred to a endocrinologist for his thyroid issues . I feel like right now it 's a guessing game for the doctor on what to prescribe him and it 's just wasting our time and I would rather him see someone that knows what they are doing and how to help him . I asked for blood work for certain thyroid tests and xrays on his hip and knee . So , by the time we got out of the room , we were trying to hurry and go to their lab so he could get his blood work done . Well , by the time we went to this window and that window and finally got to the lab , we asked the lady if she could do Brandon 's blood work and she said " No , she couldn 't do anything after 5pm " . It was 5 on the dot . It made me so mad . I told her where we live and where he works and how inconvenient it is to have to come back to do that . She would not help us . He is coming back up on Friday so he plans on getting his blood work and xrays done at Affinity . When I picked the kids up from daycare , Dawson informed me that Deegan was in the office because he scratched a girl " like a lion " . So , I go up front to get him and I was told that the girl asked him to scratch her so he wasn 't in trouble . When I got home , I noticed a scratch going across his neck and asked him what that was from and he acted like he didn 't know what I was talking about . So , I lifted up his shirt and looked at his back and he had scratches on his back . Apparently , both of them were scratching each other . What in the heck are they doing at daycare ? ? ? Brandon said there was a note in our mailbox from the mail lady asking him to call her . When he called her , she asked about when we were putting up our gate / fence . He told her that the plan was that we were going to put it up this weekend . She said that she had tried to contact the renters next door and the previous owner about moving their mailboxes and she told them that once we put our gate up that her supervisor would not allow her to use the new easement to deliver their mail . ( Their mailboxes are in the back of the property and not by the road . ) So , she told them that they would need to move their mailboxes to the end of the road or she would not be delivering their mail . She said the neighbor 's wife gave the excuse that her husband is a farmer . We are not sure what that means . Before we went to bed , I went ahead and gave Brandon his Valentine 's Day present . I had just gotten it today and I hate waiting to give presents especially when they are good ! I had gotten him a Bushnell flashlight that has 1200 lumens . Deegan had gotten a small one while in Cub Scouts and Brandon really liked it because it was such a bright flashlight . Since Deegan got his , Brandon has gotten a bigger one . Well , I got him the Mack Daddy of the Bushnell Flashlights . He loved it ! Brandon drove up to Tifton after he got off of work . We sold a stove to a lady . Then , he went to Affinity for blood work and xrays . While he was doing that , I went and picked the kids up from school and dropped them off with Brandon 's dad and then went to meet his mom for a little shopping . After shopping , I went and picked up some Chicago 's for dinner . I 've been craving their pizzaroli . So delicious ! We ate dinner together with his family then I headed to Valdosta to spend the night at my parents ' . Mom and I did okay yard saling . My favorite buy was a Charles Chips Tin sealed with potato chips still in there for $ 1 . When mom and I were done yard saling , we headed over to Thomasville and stopped at yard sales along the way . When we got to Thomasville , I drove her to show her where my house used to be then we met up with Brandon and my dad at a place called Fallin 's Real Pit Bar - B - Q . It was really good ! When we were done and walked out into the parking lot , Brandon noticed that one of the trailer tires was flat . He filled it up with air and headed to the farm . Mom , Dad , and I headed to a place called The Bread Wagon . They make the best malted chocolate balls ever ! When we got to the farm , Brandon and Dad needed to head back to town in order to fix the tire . Mom and I started cleaning up the trailer then we went over to the old farmhouse . I wanted to go back through that room that hasn 't been entered into for over 40 years . I was able to get a bunch of old Old Spice items from the bathroom . Mom was quickly overwhelmed and wanted to take a break . So , I waited until the guys got back before going back in . Brandon fixed the tire and put it back on then we went over to the farmhouse . Brandon climbed on into the room and started going through everything . We dropped off everything at home around 6 : 30ish . Before we left , Brandon wanted to go ahead and give me my Valentine 's Day present since I had given him his early . I had told him that I want to start planting flowers that I can pick from throughout the year to make arrangements in the house . So , he got me some rose bushes and Charlie Puth 's CD . I woke up and started deep cleaning the house . I haven 't had a whole lot of time to really go through the things we have been bringing back to the house and getting everything situated . So , I went through a lot of things and cleaned a lot of it too . This was the first day with the gate up and locked . The kids went with Brandon to Valdosta since it 's President 's Day and they are out … they are staying with my mom today . So , I had to open the gate and shut the gate all by myself . I joined the YMCA on Thursday but started today . I 'm going during my lunch break because by the time I get off of work , I just want to get the kids and go home . Plus , the classes I would take at night are later and I wouldn 't get home until really late . Brandon and I had our dentist appointments today . My teeth are fine . They found a cavity in his teeth . He 'll go back in March and get that fixed . Brandon took his trailer to work this morning to get all the extra pallets that were going to be thrown out . OH ! The things I could do with these ! LOL I decided it would be nice to stop at Taco Bell on the way home and make today , Taco Tuesday . Deegan keeps insisting that 's what we have on Tuesdays . Thanks Lego Movie ! LOL When I got home , I could tell that they had cut a ditch by the easement . Brandon was outside digging by the propane tank checking to see if it was possible to just rotate the tank around to get it on our side of the property line . He said that it would be no problem to move it ourselves . Thank goodness ! That saves us roughly $ 100 . When I dropped Dawson off at ballet , Deegan and I went downtown to Southern Pickers to check on my booth and while I was down there , you could hear sirens and see that traffic was stopped . So , I went outside and saw an older lady laying in the road with blood running from her hand and her head . We weren 't sure if it was a hit and run , but according to witnesses , she was crossing the street and tripped and fell . The ambulance was parked right behind my car and I wasn 't sure if they would be gone in enough time for me to be able to leave to go pick up Dawson . But , they did end up moving in enough time for me to leave . When we got to the farm , we went into the farmhouse ( my great grandfather 's house ) to get what wooden doors we could get . Also , there was some scrap 2x4s and such that we got as well . This house has sat like this for maybe 25 plus years . When my great grandfather passed , no one was allowed in the house . It 's so sad . This morning was super foggy going to Tifton . When I approached the curve on Hwy 112 where County Line Rd is , another car was coming around the corner and two deer jumped out in front us . I think it was meant to be that we were both coming around the corner so that our lights could shine on them and we both see them . There was a car on my tail that about ate me when I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting the deer . We were in conferences all day until around 5ish . We got in the car and drove around . They were closed but the gates were open so we were able to drive around and look . So , then after driving around a while , we were trying to find the exit and couldn 't find it ! LOL We about got lost in there but luckily we finally found how to get out of that place . But , it 's definitely worth going back when it 's open and I have a map . 🙂 I found a yellow hand chair and just had to get a picture of me with it . My friend Kristi actually has two of these . They wanted $ 495 for this . Ridiculous ! We had a few conferences to go to this morning then we checked out and headed home . We took a different route coming home . We went over towards I - 75 to Byron so that we could stop at The Big Peach Antique Store . It was such a beautiful drive . It reminded me a lot of Tennessee . I got back to Tifton in enough time to drop off the rental car and then pick up my kids from school . I really wanted to go to Valdosta so that mom and I could yard sale but Brandon wanted me to come home . So , with the agreement that he would go yard saling with me in the Camilla / Thomasville area , I went home . We woke up and started driving around looking for yard sales . We only found two today . It was a little disappointing but I was ok with what I had gotten . We drove around Thomasville and found where our house use to reside . Then , we went to the farm . Brandon wanted to get one of the sheds that is out there , but he realized it was bigger than he thought and it would have been a mess to try and take . So , we went through both sheds again and got a few more things . My dad called and said that someone wanted to look at the farm and he needed the keys to get in but we left them at our house . So , we have to come back tomorrow to let them in . After we got home , we unloaded then headed to Albany for a date night with our friends Kenny and Kristi . It was a good chance for us to just hang out at their house and catch up while the kids played . One time , their son , Shane , came out of the room and his nose was bleeding . Apparently , Dawson knocked him in the face . Way to go Dawson ! LOL JK Kristi ! 🙂 Before we headed to the farm , Brandon FINALLY shaved his head and beard . I was more concerned with the beard than his head . LOL It was beginning to get a little too bushy for me . After he shaved , he looked like he had lost about 10 lbs . He looks so much better ! We headed to Thomasville after we had some breakfast . When we got to the farm , mom and dad were already there . Brandon and I went into the farmhouse to get a few more doors out and some mirrors off of some old dressers . While I was in the house , I really wanted to go into one of the bedrooms that you can 't even walk into because crap has just been thrown in there for years . I 'm not kidding when I say there is crap piled in there from the floor up to about 4 ft . So , I got some gloves and started digging . I 'm not sure what I was hoping to find but you just never know . I was able to get a nice basket , an old metal trashcan , some glass candy dishes , and old boxes with cool advertisement on them . On the way home from work , they had cleaned up the deer from where I saw it this morning . As I came around the curve , I saw a white - tailed doe jump into the woodline . She stopped and listened . I 'm sure she was listening to my deer whistle . After we ate dinner , my parents , Brandon , and I started planning our vacation that we will be taking during the summer . I don 't like to put it out there on social media sites where and when we will be on vacation . So , I can 't really tell you where we will be going . But , it 's going to be epic ! That 's about all I can say about it for now . I 'm super excited and can 't wait for it to get here ! Mom and I had looked at the weather last night and we knew that it was going to be a cold one . There weren 't very many yard sales listed in the paper but most of the time we find tons of yard sales that aren 't listed . We didn 't expect to have too many today with the cold weather . The first yard sale that we hit up was awesome . We would ask about an item and then set it down . Then the lady would start coming off of her prices again and again … . to the point , we just had to get them . By the last yard sale that we went to , we saw snow flurries . That 's about as close to snow as we will probably get down here in the south . If you look really hard , you can see snow flurries on my mom 's windshield . LOL My son , Deegan , stayed last night as well so that he could help my dad work on some things . When we were done yard saling , I picked up Deegan and headed home . We made a pit stop in Quitman at an estate sale and Deegan got a big cardboard picture of a space shuttle . Then , we stopped at Publix in Thomasville to grocery shop . By the time I got home , Brandon had just about finished re mortaring the brick back on the fireplace . However , he ran out of mortar so he didn 't get to completely finish it . But , he did enough that we are going to be able to have some fires . I 'm so proud of my man ! He has so many talents and if it weren 't for him , this house would have been a money pit ! In the midst of him finishing the fireplace , I started laundry and cleaned the dishes . Brandon started a fire when he was through cleaning up all that mortar . After all of that , we were able to just chill . Something we haven 't really done lately . After lunch , Brandon and I went outside to try and finish the new chicken area . On Friday , Brandon bought some 2 inch chicken wire that was 8 ft tall and 150 long . So , we had to take down the two different sizes that we had started to put up last weekend and put up the new chicken wire . After that , he added 1 inch chicken wire 3 ft tall to the bottom all the way around to help with critters . Then we added some 1x4s around the base . We will be adding some to the top as well later . While he was doing that , I went and got the youngest chicken out and put her in the new area . She is bearded and has feathers on her feet . She is our sweetest hen . The others like to pick on her . I kept seeing the mouse come out and go back under the coop . I finally was able to get close enough to take a picture of it . It was so tiny . We went inside and started a fire , cooked some dinner and watched Mad Max Fury Road . I don 't care for movies like that but I watched it with him . The kids were upstairs playing . Definitely , not a kid - friendly movie . I 'm originally from Chattanooga , Tennessee and moved to South Georgia over 15 years ago . I met my husband at Food Lion ( our first job ) in 1999 . We married in 2003 . We bought our first house in Tifton , GA in 2005 . We had our first child , Deegan , in 2006 . We had our second child , Dawson , in 2011 . We recently sold our first house and have bought our forever home in Camilla , GA . Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this : |
This morning I hadn 't even finished my first cup of coffee when I heard , faintly , a hen cackling . Now , it 's never a good thing when you hear a chicken cackling before daylight . Especially since we 've had so many problems with varmints lately . The hen and chicks have their own little house , and I secure them every night , shutting the door . However , I have gotten lax lately , not wiring the door securely at the top . This was the day to pay the piper . I went running out to the little chicken house and saw Mama Hen frantically running around the pen cackling , with her chicks peeping around her like crazy . There were feathers scattered around the pen , and one dead , headless chick . At first only six chicks came out with Mama Hen , and I thought that was what I had left . Later I got to thinking that if there were only six chicks left , there would have been three corpses , not just one . So I went back to the little house and peeked into the corners and found two more live chicks , petrified with fear , and shooed them out . I went on to do the cattle chores , and Mama Hen was still in the driveway cackling when I was done . She was obviously traumatized , and was still cackling for over an hour after it all happened . Finally she acknowledged her babies and foraged around in the yard and garden all day . Cliff and I had plans to lock the hen and chicks into her little house / pen securely tonight , and then put our varmint trap right in front of that house , baited with the headless chick that was killed last night . When we went out at dusk , I heard the chicks peeping loudly and the mom clucking , but they weren 't in their little house . The noises were coming from the big hen house . Mama Hen was sitting on a nest in there , as it turns out , and the babies were trying , one by one , to fly up and join her . I was amazed . I was speechless , and honestly , almost had tears in my eyes . Chickens are among the dumbest animals God ever created , but that mommy thing is stronger than any weak mind , and the hen had no intention of letting her babies be killed . She had moved out of that death - trap of a house . I shut the chicken house door , knowing no chickens would die tonight . We did put the trap in front of the now - uninhabited brooder house . I doubt we catch anything . But Mama Hen has it under control , and no chickens will die tonight . I recently blogged about Blackie , a calf belonging to Cliff 's brother that I was trying to save . I had theories about what was ailing him , but was on uncharted territory . I honestly didn 't expect him to live , but he was such a fighter , and developed such a good appetite , that I just couldn 't give up on him . Yesterday when I got him up to give him a bottle , I noticed a swelling about the size of an orange at his naval . I felt it , and it was as hard as a rock . While I 've never had experience with naval ill , I had a feeling that 's what we were dealing with , so I consulted Dr . Google . What I found explained everything that had happened with that calf : Turns out naval ill , if not treated , turns into joint ill . The disease settles in the joints , causing pain and difficulty walking . You can read about it HERE . It can also go to the eyes , liver , heart , and other organs . I was briefly worried when I read it could be contagious , since we had Blackie in with three of my calves for several days . Further reading told me that it 's only contagious to calves in their first week of life . Had I paid attention to the calf 's naval when Phil first brought him over , he could have been saved . Cliff and I had noticed his naval looked damp all the time , but we assumed it was because he was laying on damp ground all the time . Rule number one when dealing with livestock or children : Never assume . If you go to the link I shared above , you will see that once naval ill has turned into joint ill , unless you have a very valuable animal and can afford to spend lots of money for an offhand chance you might save the calf , it 's time to cut your losses . That 's what we did . Cliff called his brother to tell him what was happening , and then he humanely put Blackie down . I have been wanting a pig on the place ever since I found myself with two milk cows . Even though the calves do the milking for me most of the time , I milk a couple of times a week to get milk for our own use . I like the cream in my coffee and on our oatmeal , but we don 't use all that much milk . It doesn 't take much for our morning cereal and what little baking I do , and it breaks my heart to pour perfectly good milk down the drain , knowing how much a pig would love it . I had been watching Craigslist for weeks , hoping to buy a pig at a reasonable price . Cliff was less than enthused about this , since he is the guy that has to figure out how to make pens out of what we have on hand , provide housing , and actually transport the animal to our place . To his relief , I wasn 't finding any pigs close to home , and I didn 't want to spend a lot of gas money running up and down the roads for small pig . That " one small " part was another point of disagreement : Cliff felt that if we were going to get a pig , we ought to get two of them . Two pigs just do better , he says , than one by itself . I only wanted one because the amount of extra milk I would have wouldn 't go far with more ; it will make a big difference in the diet of one pig , especially while he 's small . I didn 't want to be buying any more expensive pig feed than necessary . Oh , and if you only have one pig , he makes a better pet . When he finally decided I wasn 't going to shut up about a pig , he suggested that we stop looking at Craigslist ads and go buy a pig from the local farmer we 've purchased from before . " We might have to pay more , " he said , " but we won 't be running up and down the road spending more on gas that we would have to spend on a pig . " He had a point . Besides , we know the local guy has good , healthy pigs . Score one for Cliff . I called , and the guy , as always , had pigs available . I explained to him that I had extra milk , and wanted a pig around to make good use of it . " The smaller the pig , the better , " I said . A dollar a pound can make for an expensive porker , but not so much when you are buying an eighteen - pound baby . We loaded up a dog carrier in the back of the pickup and went to get our pig . We chose a male . " Oh , isn 't he pretty ? " I said to Cliff as the farmer carried our baby out of the barn . I think I saw the guy try to hide a smile . Maybe he isn 't used to having his pigs called " pretty " . Temperatures were in the 90 's when we brought him home . Instead of staying in the shade of his house ( a calf hutch ) , he insisted in stretching out in the sun . Did you know pigs can sunburn ? Since nothing I could do would get him to the shade , I put sunblock on him . And you know , pigs don 't take the heat very well . They really like a mud wallow , but since he had none , I bought him a cheap wading pool like the one we have for the little girl I babysit . Since then , Cliff has fashioned a shade over part of his pen using tarp and tie - down straps . And here he is at six this morning , eating his breakfast . When you have one pig by himself , he becomes a pet very quickly . If I climb into Stanley 's pen , he already comes over to me begging for a belly - scratch . He has started rooting , tearing up the turf in his pen , so we 'll have to put a ring in his nose or he will root his way out of the pen and end up at the neighbors , working on their flowerbeds or something . We still have some pig - rings from 30 years ago , so no purchase will be required . When Cliff 's brother brought his abandoned baby calf to me , I was confident that all he needed was a vigilant eye and proper nourishment . I figured he would be ready to sell on Craigslist in two or three days . That was the plan . Oh , I got a bottle of milk down him twice a day , but it was a real chore to get him to stand up at feeding time . He got a minor case of scours , I doctored it with the usual pills and electrolytes , and he was fine . But he never once bawled for his supper as new calves do at feeding time , and he had to be coaxed , and even helped , to get up . He was with three bigger calves who mostly ignored him , as he did them . He chose a corner in the sheltered area of their pen to spend his days , and there he lay . Cliff and I finally figured out that the calf has a problem either with one hind leg , or perhaps with his hindquarters in general , which is why he doesn 't like to get up and has difficulty walking . Phil told us that this calf followed his mother the first couple days of his life , so obviously something happened to him that injured him when he was a couple days old . Just about the time I think I should have Cliff put the calf out of his misery , he will show a little more enthusiasm for the bottle or act as though he wants to follow me around the pen once his belly is full , and I think perhaps there is hope . Maybe my city friends are thinking I should call a vet , but a farm visit is $ 100 , and the vet couldn 't do anything for the poor boy except perhaps tell me what the problem is with his hindquarters . You just can 't sink a lot of money into a baby calf , because you 'll never get it back . Last night we had another deluge . These days deluges are the norm , so we just shake our heads and go on . At tractor club last night the farmers were discussing the fact that they can 't sell their wheat because all the rain has put something , some organism or other , in it that makes it pretty much worthless . They haven 't been able to finish planting their soybeans , either . I don 't know what the latest date is on planting soybeans , but we must be rapidly approaching it . But I digress . I went outside to chore with some trepidation this morning , because there were fierce winds last night , along with five , count ' em , five inches of rain . First I checked on the baby pig we bought two days ago . . . more about him in another entry . . . because he seems to be the stupidist pig I 've ever owned . Anyhow , stupid pig had gathered his wits about him enough to seek shelter in the calf hutch Cliff gave him for a house . I went to look at Phil 's calf . I 've never actually named him , but have taken to calling him Blackie . He was laid out totally on his side with the older three calves all laying around him . When I nudged his with the toe of my boot there was no response , but I saw him blink , and thought , " Why don 't you just die and put us both out of our misery ? " You don 't want to see a cow or calf laying stretched out on its side for very long : If the animal is old enough to ruminate ( chew its cud ) , it will bloat if it lays there long . Blackie hasn 't progressed to chewing his cud , though . Yesterday I had gotten the thought that I was fighting a losing battle , but an old Gospel song came to mind . You atheists can turn your heads about now , because I 'm going to tell you a secret : God usually speaks to me through the old hymns , and I often get a message that means something for what 's happening at the particular time that it comes to me . So as I was deciding whether or not to stop " beating a dead horse " ( or calf ) , the words that came to me were this : " It is no secret what God can do . " So I fed him yesterday morning and evening . He showed enough enthusiasm to actually wag his tail as he nursed last night , but that 's the extent of it . After seeing him so nearly dead ( I thought ) this morning , I skipped his bottle . As I left the barn , though , I glanced over at him and saw him attempting to get himself upright . Well great . Here we go again . Now I 'll have to fix him a bottle and try to get him up . I got Blackie to his feet and gave him the bottle . He had more trouble than usual walking as I held the bottle in front of him , but he emptied the bottle . Obviously laying on his side so long hadn 't been good for his hindquarters , and the three calves that had been laying all around him may have laid on his back legs . . . who knows . I wouldn 't give you five dollars for that calf 's chances to ever get well , but as long as he can stand up , and as long as some old hymn comes to mind when I 'm tending him , I guess I 'll keep on trying . Just before Rocky decided it was time to move on , a lady sat down at my right on the bench I had claimed as my own . She listened to the latter portion of my conversation with Rocky , which was mostly about various Democratic candidates from the past , but also included a mention of Hillary . Rocky suddenly realized people were going in and out of the old depot that was creating our shade , and turns out his wife had asked him to keep watch over it and make sure no vandalism was done while she took a break from her station at the door . I 'm sure at least two dozen folks had entered and left the place during our conversation , but he hadn 't noticed them during the preceding forty - five minutes . The lady , whose name I never asked , mentioned how nice it felt in the shade with the breeze and all , and of course I agreed . Then she said , " I 'm just beginning to feel better again . I 've been under the weather for the longest time . I have congestive heart failure . " " That 's too bad , " I said . " I know there isn 't any cure for that ; all you can do is treat it as best you can . " She went on to explain that she had really been feeling low , but was sent to a different cardiologist who felt she was on too many conflicting medications and had taken her off several of them , at which time her condition began to improve . I asked her the doctor 's name , and it happened to be Cliff 's cardiologist . Anyhow , he seemed to have done her a world of good , and she considers him a very good doctor . Here we were having a chat in Lathrop , sixty miles from where I live , and I found out she lives in Odessa , just eight miles south of my home ; she has a couple of nephews who will be at the Adrian tractor show next weekend . That 's when she told me her last name , so I could watch for the guys at the show . It was an unusual name , and I really wish I had written it down . But I didn 't . We discussed gardens , and she said she really misses hers . I asked her if she knows about Harvesters , and she did . Her brother helps with the Harvester 's distribution . " So much of the food they have is bad , though , " she said . That 's true . It 's food that stores can 't sell because it 's past the expiration date , or vegetables and fruit that are past their prime . Still , a lot of the stuff is usable and good . I know this because Cliff 's brother helps hand out the stuff at his church . So this was a totally different type of conversation than the one I had with Rocky , much more laid - back and with a lot more input from me . The reason I wish I had paid attention to her last name is that I would have been glad to take tomatoes and other excess garden stuff ( if there is any ) to share with her . She isn 't far away , and Cliff and I are occasionally in Odessa . As it is , we were no more than ships passing in the night . But I like to think she may have been an angel , sent to tell me to get on another insurance plan or to assure me that Cliff 's cardiologist is a decent doctor . . And who knows ? Rocky may have been an angel too . Angels come in all shapes , sizes , and persuasions , and maybe I needed to be reminded that building Cliff 's shop was one of our best decisions ; otherwise Cliff would be in Rocky 's shoes , wishing he had a shop but being afraid to go in debt to build it . Posted by Yesterday Cliff and I went to a tractor show at Lathrop . Cliff opted not to take a tractor for the show . We left fairly early , since the forecast predicted a high in the mid - nineties . It doesn 't take Cliff long to wander through all the flea markets and then look at the tractors , and we figured we 'd get home by the hottest part of the day . After we arrived and I was getting out of the car I realized I had forgotten a couple of important items : My cane - chair and my cell phone . My spirits sank with the realization that I would never be able to cover the grounds without the cane - chair , which gives me a place to sit no matter where I am . Obviously I 'd be looking for benches to sit on while I looked at tractors with Cliff . Benches are in high demand at these shows , though , considering about 2 / 3 of the attendees are of retirement age . Cliff and I split up to walk through the flea - market area . I found a couple of cheap items of interest there , visited with my neighbor Diane who lives down the road and is always at that flea market selling things , and then met with Cliff and strolled with him toward the area where there are other vendors selling all sorts of junk valuable stuff like chains , tools , bolts , and the like . The heat was already getting pretty intense ; I left Cliff 's side and walked toward a line of International tractors , and that 's when the old depot caught my eye . There were unoccupied benches along the front of it , and the depot was providing an exceptionally inviting shady spot . I wish I had taken a picture of such a veritable oasis . I did take a picture of the tractors I was admiring as I sat there , though . You can see what a lovely , protective shade was cast by the depot , and to make things perfect , there was a steady cool breeze . I fired up the IPad and played a couple of games of Sudoku , looking up often at the people strolling down the line of old tractors . Before long I saw Cliff ; I joined him long enough to tell him what a delightful haven I 'd found , then told him to enjoy himself and that I 'd look him up later . I sat down . I had turned on the IPad and started a new game when a man about my age approached and said , " Is that an IPod ? " " It 's an IPad , " I said . He started asking a lot of questions about it . He hates computers and has no desire to own one , but he would like a device on which he could keep names , addresses , and phone numbers , and also keep notes ; he wondered whether he would have to have Internet to do such things on an IPad . I told him he would not , but suggested he find something cheaper than an IPad for his purposes . No need to spend a lot of money for what he wanted . Then somehow the conversation turned , and I now know more than I ever wanted to know about the guy . Oh , he was a nice person , he just did more talking that I 'm used to , and didn 't really give me a lot of chances to converse back . Here are things I learned about him : He 's a Shriner ; he 's a member of the Lathrop tractor club , but doesn 't have a tractor because he doesn 't have a garage where he could work on tractors . He used to work at the Allis Chalmers combine plant in Independence . I told him our tractor club president retired from there and gave his name . Oh yeah , he knows him . I asked his name so I could tell Bill I talked to him , and he said the people he worked with only know him as Rocky . Let 's see , what else ? Oh , he and his wife were married on Main Street in Lathrop in old - fashioned clothes because it was the town 's centennial at the time . He once got autographs from John Kerry , two big fancy framable autographs . . . one for himself and one for his wife , but she sold hers for $ 250 and put a new tile floor in her porch and callOh , I 'm just getting started . He got back to the " I wish I had a garage " and I said , " Well , why wouldn 't you build one ? I know you could afford it if you worked at Allis Chalmers for thirty years . " And I explained how Cliff and I went in debt to build his shop and it was the best thing we ever did . So then he had to tell me how he hates debt , but a few years ago he found a deal on the prettiest pickup in the world and got a loan . He made several payments on it , and one day got a call from the banker . I won 't stretch the story out like this guy did , but turns out somebody who will forever remain anonymous paid off his loan . The banker was sworn to secrecy , but said it 's someone Rocky knows well . He 's tried to figure it out and has asked different people , but nobody will confess to doing it . He thinks they did it because he has always tried to help people , especially old folks . Every morning he drives around town ( Lathrop isn 't a very big town ) , gets out of his car , picks up the newspapers thrown in older folks ' yards , and takes them to their porches , sometimes even placing it inside their screen doors . Actually , I did enjoy the whole conversation , and I truly believe he 's a nice guy , even if he IS a Democrat and talks a lot ( those who know me will realize I jest ; I 'm equally disenchanted with all political parties ) . Just before Rocky left me , a lady came over and sat on my bench , and a whole new conversation started . That will be another entry . Posted by Cliff 's brother called me several days ago . One of his cows , an aged one , had birthed a calf . He had seen the calf following the cow the day after it was born , but had never actually seen it nurse , so he wasn 't sure if it had gotten colostrum or not . Anyhow , three or four days after it was born , Phil found it lying off someplace by itself and the mother was showing no interest at all . So he got it to the barn and called me for advice on bottle - feeding a calf . The calf wouldn 't get up , so he was bottle - feeding it lying down ( a big no - no in my book . . . if I can 't get them up , I tube - feed them ) . It would take a few sucks , then spit the bottle out . He 'd force the bottle back in its mouth , it would suck a little . . . but it would not hold the bottle in its mouth without help . I gave him what advice I could and thought very little about it for a couple of days . Then I told Cliff , " I think I should have offered to tend that calf for him until it 's to a point where he can sell it . " Cliff called Phil and told him , and he said he would be right over with the calf . Phil has COPD and asthma , and he was having to bend over the calf trying to force - feed it the bottle in this hot weather and having an awful time breathing . So he and his wife were very happy for my offer . Meanwhile , when it comes to raising calves , I love a challenge ! I have a way of making a calf stand up whether they want to or not , so while Phil and Faye watched , I made him get up . I straddled him facing forward and poked the bottle in his mouth , and he behaved in the same way Phil described . The only difference was that I had him on his feet . He would not , however , hold the bottle in his mouth and suck for any length of time . With patience , I was able to get a full bottle down him , which was more than Phil had been able to do . So now I was milking half a gallon of milk twice a day from Penny before I turned three calves in with her , and pouring it into a calf bottle . There are two kinds of calf bottles . Most people prefer the bottle on the left : the top screws on easily and the milk flows freely through the nipple so that the calf is done nursing in about 60 seconds . I have never cared for that one , though . It lets the calf get too much milk too fast . I would rather take a little more time and let the calf get his milk at the speed Mother Nature intended . The bottle on the right has a snap - on nipple , which is difficult for a lot of people to put on . I 've probably put those snap - on nipples on thousands of bottles in my time , so I 'm an expert at it . Now , when you buy a new nipple it does let the milk through very slowlly , so I always cut the opening a little larger . Still , it never lets the milk come out as fast as the screw - on bottle does . I 'd say it takes a calf at least five minutes to empty it . I had a hunch Blackie would do better with a snap - on nipple , but I seem to have lost the nipples for that kind of bottle , so I used the other one . Today , though , I picked up a couple of those nipples . Tonight , using a bottle with that nipple , the calf sucked eagerly without me straddling him and forcing him to hold the bottle in his mouth . If I took the nipple out of his mouth , he came forward searching for it and found it with no help at all from me . I love it when things work . He 's a big , strapping bull calf . We just want to get him healthy and vigorous enough so Phil can sell him . He does have one flaw : His right eye is cloudy . He seems to be blind in that eye . However , in today 's market , if he has nothing else wrong with him , he 'll bring a pretty penny . He 's 100 % beef , and that is a big plus compared to the dairy calves I raise for myself . I don 't usually turn any of my chickens out until three or four o ' clock in the afternoon , often even later than that , because that 's what my grandma did ; I think she had figured out there was less chance of chicken hawks snatching her hens late in the day . But the kid I babysit and I were working in the garden around 10 A . M . and I decided Mama Hen and her babies looked hot . I knew we had no plans to leave home today after spending several scorching hours at the zoo yesterday , so either Cliff or I would be outside a good part of the day . I turned them loose and then turned on the garden tiller and began tilling between the rows to get rid of the weed seedlings . Baby Girl played , sometimes running up and down rows and sometimes stepping over them . She shoveled dirt into a bucket and , in general , had a great time . I kept a good eye on her and tilled away , not giving a thought to the chickens . In fact , it wasn 't until almost lunch time when we were back inside that I thought about Mama Hen and her brood : She is never too far from our yard these days , and I realized I had not seen her since I first turned her out . I went looking a couple of times , being sure to check in the open part of the barn where she and the chicks eat beetles like crazy every evening . Not a feather did I see , nor a cluck did I hear . And Mama Hen NEVER stops her constant clucking when she has babies . " I have a bad feeling about this , " I said to Cliff . " Something isn 't right . If something got her , the chicks don 't have a chance out in the big world . " We ate dinner and I put Baby down for a nap . While she was still asleep , I went out and looked in all the usual places once more , being sure to check under the big Spruce trees behind Cliff 's shop , because she hung out there often with last years ' babies . I had wondered if perhaps a hawk had swooped down and tried to get her , and maybe she felt safe under the close cover of those tree branches . I really didn 't have to look once I got there , because there was no cluck - cluck - clucking . I strolled over to look behind the open shed near the hen 's little cottage , started to turn toward the house , and suddenly heard the welcome , distant " cluck - cluck - cluck " I had been yearning for ! She WAS in the shade of some spruce trees , only she had chosen the five - and six - year - old Norway spruce trees just beyond the garden . I tried to get her to come to me , saying " chick chick chick " , but she wasn 't budging . That verified to me that something had scared her , because she always comes when I call : it usually means I have some sort of treat like stale bread and other leftovers , or chicken scratch grains . The chicks were complaining . You can always tell by the tone of their peep - peeping whether they are happy or not . I got the waterer out of their pen and carried it to their safe spot , where the mood of their peeping changed to happy as they quenched their thirst . I came to the house and grabbed a couple of left - over biscuits for them and counted them as they were eating : All nine were present and accounted for . But let me start at the beginning . My mom always kept chickens during the first twelve years of my growing - up , so I soaked up a lot of knowledge about poultry without even trying . I played with the hens , sometimes taking a cardboard box and cutting " bars " in it to make a cage . I usually had one or two chickens that were tamer than the rest as a result of my handling them from the time they were one day old . Sometimes a hen " goes broody " , which means she quits laying eggs and sits on the nest on eggs the other hens are laying , hoping to hatch out some babies . If you follow this blog , you know that I currently have a hen outside that I allowed to hatch out some babies . Once a year is all the baby - chick - hatching I want . I get tired of trying to keep the pesky varmints from eating them , not to mention it 's something extra to chore after . During this past week , I had yet another hen go broody . I only have four hens right now , and one of those is out of circulation because she is raising her babies . I don 't need another slacker in the flock . I got tired of being growled at and pecked every time I reached under the newly broody hen and decided to " break her up " like my mom used to do : I put her under an upside - down tote ( Mother used a wash tub ) , weighted it down so it didn 't get tipped over , and left her . When my mom used this method , it only took two or three days in isolation and darkness for a hen to repent and re - join the laying population . However , this morning I tipped up the tote and she growled at me as only a settin ' hen growls . I totally removed the tote and she promptly flew up to the nest and settled down on it , feathers all puffed out , as though she were setting on eggs ( there weren 't any eggs there ) . She was still wanting to hatch some babies ! I don 't recall my mom 's method of breaking up a settin ' hen ever failing , so I took to the Internet to see if I could find out what I had done wrong . I found my answer in THIS ARTICLE . When you cover the hen up , she shouldn 't have any bedding beneath her . That feels like a nest , and she just goes ahead setting ; the chicken - house floor is covered in wood chips . Well , I hate to put the old gal in isolation for another three days , with no food and water . The poor idiotic thing might starve to death ! But as I read the article , I came across this : Sometimes by taking her off the nest and dunking her lower half ( underside ) into a bucket of cool water until her feathers are wet can put her off . This could be a distraction for her as her instinct is now to dry herself off and preen her feathers by which time she may head straight back to the nest , or may have forgotten about the nest . Hey , it couldn 't hurt to try ! I got a bucket of cold water and headed to the hen house . I don 't do things halfway , so I not only dipped her underside into the water . . . I dipped her clear up to her neck , and then tossed her in with the others . She was still making settin - hen clucks , but instead of going to the nest , she went to the feeder and started devouring chicken feed . I came to the house and told Cliff what I had done , then went to check on her again . By this time she was on the edge of a nest , cackling her head off , but NOT sitting on the nest . I decided maybe she needed another baptizing , just to convince her . So once again I dunked her and returned here to write this blog entry . She was sitting on the nest . Obviously the double - baptizing didn 't take . So , per the instructions in the article , she is now in a cage in a shed with NO soft bedding beneath her . She 's bedraggled from her religious experience , but she 'll survive . Let 's hope she isn 't too traumatized by all of this . There 's a quote from the movie " A Christmas Story " that I often think of when Cora is here . Grown - up Ralphie is talking about his little brother , Randy , and says , " Every family has a kid who won 't eat . My kid brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years . " The toddler I babysit grows like crazy , so she obviously gets some nourishment somewhere , but the amount of food she eats at my house wouldn 't sustain a sparrow ; Nevertheless , at mealtime I dutifully give her a tiny portion of whatever we are having and hope for the best , taking satisfaction in the fact that she at least drinks the milk I pasteurize for her . I keep a plastic toddler plate here for her that 's divided into three sections . The other day we had potato patties , green beans , meat loaf , and applesauce . I put a couple of bites of each in her plate . She actually ate about two bites of potato patty and one taste of applesauce . Then she proceeded to spoon applesauce from one section of her plate to another . After moving a couple teaspoonfuls of applesauce to a new section , she got a bite of potato on her fork and dipped it into her applesauce : " Dip ! " she said victoriously , and proceeded , again and again , to dip pieces of potato patty into the applesauce , never once taking a bite , but smiling and saying " Dip ! " with each bite . She was very happy and proud to be dipping ! Things like this always make me curious about how her little mind is working . Did she learn to dip some sort of food at Grandma 's house in Iowa ? Have her parents been having chips and dip occasionally ? But why would she decide that potato patties need to be dipped in applesauce ? And why wouldn 't she at least taste it after dipping ? Kids . Who knows why they do what they do ? This morning when I went out for chores , it was quiet and peaceful , as usual . When I was done tending to cows and calves , though , and headed out of the barn toward the house , I heard a hen cackling frantically . At six in the morning , it 's never good news when you hear a chicken sounding the alarm . The three hens and rooster in the main chicken house had to be safe , because ever since we saw signs of something trying to dig into their pen I have shut them up inside the chicken house at night . So I was pretty sure Mama Hen had to be the source of the noise , and looked toward her little house . Sure enough , she was frantically walking around her little pen cackling for all she was worth , and the feeder and waterer had been tipped over . I set the milk bucket down in the driveway and hurried over there to see what had happened . There wasn 't a baby chick in sight ; I could see Mama Hen had put up a good fight with whatever had invaded her space , because she lost a lot of feathers in the process . I opened the side door to the little house they sleep in and at first saw nothing , but then up against the wall I saw a couple of chicks flattened against the floor not moving a muscle . That 's what chicks do when they are frightened : They flatten against the floor or ground and stay still ; later I found the rest of them actually burrowed under their straw bedding . After I took my milk inside , I went back to see what could have gotten in . The critter left some poop behind . Cliff and I are guessing a raccoon , but could be a possum . Perhaps we have been falsely accusing that fox we were trying to trap . Oh well , we 've caught three raccoons now , so if perhaps our efforts at trapping haven 't been for nothing . There were dig marks on all sides of the pen and house . This is where he tunneled in . Now , what perplexed us was the fact that this tunnel wasn 't really deep enough to let a raccoon in . Then Cliff pointed out that a big raccoon could start squeezing under and the house would lift up . That has to be what happened , because all the evidence points to a raccoon or a possum . I now have nine chicks instead of eleven . I knew I had to figure out something to prevent this from happening again , because the varmint has had a taste of fresh chicken and there 's no doubt in my mind he will return tonight . Finally I came up with the idea of putting some wooden pallet - covers underneath the whole outside pen ; there 's a floor in the house , so it 's dig - proof already . I thought perhaps we could secure the bottom to the wood somehow so that nothing could dig in . Cliff , though , had a better idea . He drove a couple of steel posts between the two pallets and put a wire across the top of the pen , tightening it well . That door you see at the front of the pen will have to be wired shut , because if you are familiar with raccoons , you know that their little " hands " could easily turn that latch and open the door . The side door you see the toddler fiddling with will also have to be secured , as well as the nest box door on the back of the house ; both of those have a simple hook latch that a raccoon could unhook . If you think I 'm giving raccoons too much credit for intelligence , you 've never gone camping in a Missouri state park and left your cooler outside overnight . Mama Hen loves to scratch on the ground and call her chickens over to eat the bugs she finds , but she 's going to have to settle for living on a board for awhile . I will probably start turning them out in the evenings before too long , and then they can make up for lost time . |
Jamie McFadden hated the way everyone stared at her as she walked home from school . The worst of all was her cousin Shannon , wouldn 't talk to her while she was around her friends and boyfriend . She tried last week to go up and talk to them all while they were hanging out on the stoop . " Hi Shannon . " She said meagerly . Shannon took a hit off her cig , leaving a bright red ring around it . She inhaled very deeply , while trying her best to ignore Jamie . When it was painfully obvious that Jamie wasn 't going anywhere Shannon finally acknowledged her existence . " What do you want ? " Shannon sneered at her from the top step of the stoop . She was sitting on her boyfriend Ryan 's lap and he had his hands between her legs . Everyone laughed , except him . He just stared at her , making Jamie nervous . " Um nothing , I just wanted to say hi . " Jamie suddenly felt really stupid . She cursed herself silently for thinking Shannon and her friends would accept her . " Hi , now get the fuck outta here ! " Shannon 's high - pitched voice brought Jamie back to reality . This reality was depressing as hell for Jamie , and at that moment she wanted Shannon to drop dead for embarrassing her in front of all these people . " Fuck you Shannon ! " Jamie screamed . She ran down the block and around the corner to their building . When she was inside the apartment , she ran to the room she shared with Shannon . She could hear her Gran calling for her , but Jamie didn 't answer . She buried her face in the pillow so that her grandmother wouldn 't hear the deep , wrenching sobs coming from Jamie 's mouth . Her whole body shook , her head throbbed , and her nose was running . She didn 't care about any of that . She apologized to God for cursing and vowed to go to confession tomorrow after school . Her Gran was on the other side of the bedroom door asking if she was all right . " No thanks Gran , I 'm not really hungry . " Jamie lay there for a long time after her tears had dried , thinking about things that she hated to think about . Finally at 8 : 00 she got up and did her homework . She finished at 10 : 00 , and when Shannon snuck in their bedroom window at 1 : 30 , Jamie pretended to be asleep . That was last week and neither Jamie nor Shannon had said two words to each other since then . She prayed Shannon and her friends would just continue to ignore her when she walked home from school , and thankfully they did . Jamie walked on the other side of the street to avoid their eyes as she passed by ; occasionally she would glance over to see who was there . Today she saw someone new . His face was a lot like Ryan 's , and Jamie concluded that he must be Ryan 's brother . She had heard Shannon talking about him on the phone . The guy had been gone since before Jamie had moved here , he 'd been in jail for something . He was very cute Jamie thought , but he must be trouble . If he was hanging around with Shannon that meant he was trouble , not to mention the fact that he had just been released from jail . Jamie got to her building and walked up the stoop . Her grandmother was inside napping in her chair . Jamie knelt down in front of her , taking her soft , warm hand . Gran breathed quietly and Jamie thanked God for letting her sleep so peacefully . She went to her room to study . She had been studying for about two hours when Gran appeared at the bedroom door " Well dinner will be ready soon , will you go find Shannon and bring her home please ? " " Where would I go to find her Gran ? " Jamie asked in a panic . She knew exactly where to find Shannon and it was the last place on earth that Jamie wanted to be . " Building 226 , apartment 3C , that 's where her evil boyfriend lives . I would walk down there myself but I 'm not feeling too good today . " Her grandmother 's weary eyes looked groggy and sad . " Okay Gran , I 'll go get her . " Jamie said , forcing a smile . She kissed her grandmother on the cheek as she passed her walking out the door . Jamie came around the corner to the building where Shannon always was . She looked up at it . It looked just like her building , but there was something ominous about walking up those first five steps . The stoop itself was covered in years of chewed gum that had turned black and gave the stoop a polka dotted appearance . On the front door someone had written the word " mutherfuker " , Jamie blushed and felt the need to correct the profanity . After a few minutes she managed to get herself to the top of the stoop and walked into the dark , musty building . When inside she saw the remains of a busted lightbulb hanging above a door marked " Maintenance " and just under that the words " Ricky L . is a coksuker " . Jamie assumed it had been written by the same person who had written on the front door . Rays of a late afternoon sunshine shone through the window in the door , lighting up beams of dust that slashed through the entryway . She walked slowly up the first flight of stairs , all the while noticing the yellowed , dingy wallpaper that hung in some places and came away from the wall in others . She continued on to the second flight of stairs , she heard Latin music , then a man had laughing . She saw a grocery bag filled with trash outside someone 's door ; it held dirty diapers that created a stench not unlike swamp gas . She kept walking , to the third flight of stairs . Her fear was mounting , and her palms were sweating . She got to the top of the flight and from where she stood could see a door marked 3C . She came to the door and knocked rather hard which made her even more nervous . She stood there for an eternity it seemed , until finally the door opened . It was him , Ryan 's brother , the one who just got home from jail . She stared at him , partly out of curiosity and partly because she liked his face and long blond hair . " Yeah ? " he asked indignantly , looking Jamie up and down and making no secret of the fact that he was doing so . " I 'm Jamie McFadden , my cousin is Shannon McFadden and I was wondering if she was here . My grandmother is making dinner and she sent me to get her . " Jamie thought she might have set a new speed talking record for as fast as she delivered her speech to this guy . She also thought that he probably thought she was an idiot or something . Hell , she didn 't know what he thought , but she was getting more nervous by the second , especially because he wasn 't saying anything " Oh , um thank you , but I think I 'll just wait out here . " Jamie answered and smiled hoping this guy couldn 't smell her fear , the way dogs could smell fear . She also didn 't want him to see how nervous she was being around him . " Are you crazy ? You 'll get shot waitin out there , just come inside . " He said with a smirk . Now Jamie was really terrified , what if she did get shot waiting outside . She decided that going inside was probably the safest bet , so she entered the apartment . She sat down on the couch and noticed it was really lumpy and stained with something . It smelled like beer , not just the couch , but the whole place . Ryan 's brother sat across from her in an equally dilapidated chair , which had long ago seen its better days . He stared at her , the way Ryan had that day on the stoop . She looked around the apartment to get her mind off the ex - con that was probably sizing her up . There was a picture of the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus , on the wall above the T . V . Jamie stared at it ; she had never seen a velvet painting of Mary and Jesus before . Ryan 's brother interrupted her thoughts . " I figured that , I 've lived here my whole life and I never seen you before . How old are you ? " Why did he want to know that Jamie wondered . " Yes , I like it there , it seems like a very good school . " As soon as she said it she wished she hadn 't . She had a knack for always making herself look less than cool . He was staring again ; as each second passed she felt the sweat running down her sides and collecting in the waistband of her plaid skirt Finally she asked , " Where is Shannon , I , I mean , what is she doing ? " Ryan 's brother stared at her , not speaking . It made her so uncomfortable . Why did he have to do that ? Finally he spoke . " Well I think she 's probably um spending quality time with Ryan . " He answered , then giggled . Just then , Jamie could hear voices coming from down the hall . The first one was Shannon 's . " Ryan I am gonna brush my teeth , if you don 't tell me which one is yours , I 'll just pick the first one I see ! " She yelled back at him . Ryan 's brother came alive . " His is the green one Shannon , you keep your fucking hands off the blue one ! " He was yelling at her . Then Ryan appeared , he didn 't have a shirt on , he was zipping his pants , and fidgeting with his belt . He saw Jamie just as she was getting up to stand by the door . She tried not to make eye contact with either one of them . " I know who you are , I 've seen you before . " Ryan said , he was staring at her , so was his brother . Finally , Shannon emerged from the bathroom to see her cousin standing by the door . " What are you doing here ? " She said as she was searching in her purse for a cigarette . Eventually , she gave up looking and Ryan gave her one . " Oh Christ , lucky me , I got my own bounty hunter . " Shannon said dryly , taking a big drag off her cigarette , leaving the telltale ring . Shannon why haven 't you introduced me to your cousin ? " Ryan 's brother asked . " Cyril , shut the fuck up alright , you just never mind her ! " So his name was Cyril , finally Jamie knew what name to give the police if ever she needed to . Then Ryan was talking . " Shannon , chill out . You really shouldn 't keep Jamie from us , I bet she 'd like to hang , wouldn 't you cuz ? " Before she could answer , Shannon did . " Look , both of you stay the hell away from her , ya got me ? If not I 'll cut your balls off ! " Shannon said as she kissed Ryan goodbye , leaving his mouth the way she left her cigarette butts . She was walking towards Jamie now , but turned to say one last thing to the O ' Reily 's . " Oh , and boys , I used someone 's toothbrush but , I don 't remember exactly which one I used . Have fun . " She was laughing like crazy and Jamie could hear Cyril calling Shannon a fucking bitch as they walked down the stairs and out into the world . Jamie was overcome by the urge to kiss the ground , for she thought she would never see it again . Alas she had emerged unharmed from the O ' Reily apartment , a little wiser for the wear . " So that 's Ryan 's brother huh ? Didn 't he just get home from jail ? " Jamie was trying to make conversation . Normally she wouldn 't have but she so was grateful that Shannon hadn 't made her walk on the other side of the street , she figured she 'd give it a shot . " Hey , don 't you worry about him , he 's bad news , they both are . " She glared straight ahead . Jamie thought that Shannon was so pretty , but she didn 't smile enough . " I know that stupid , I meant when I 'm older we 're gonna get married . I 'm not denying the fact that he 's made mistakes , he 's fucked other girls since we 've been together , he 's gotten in trouble with the cops , but I love him , and I can 't stop loving him . That 's why I 'm telling you to forget the name Cyril O ' Reily cause once they 've got you , you 're hooked for life , ya get what I 'm saying ? " Jamie was shocked that Shannon was actually worried for her . They had stopped walking and were now facing each other . " It 's not a good situation to be in is all I 'm sayin . You gotta a chance for a real good life ahead a ya James , you 're smart , you 'll probably get a scholarship to some college , make out real good if you don 't let Cyril O ' Reily infest your head and ruin what you got comin . " Shannon started walking again and Jamie followed her the rest of the way home without saying a word . Later that night , Ryan and Cyril were lounging around , watching a game , and having a drink , when they heard their pops pull up outside . They looked at each other knowingly . If anyone else had been in the room at the moment , they would have seen two of the neighborhood 's biggest thugs reverting back to scared little boys . Both wore fear on their similar faces . Both hated their father for he was a vicious sunovabitch . Ryan stood up first , then Cyril . Ryan grabbed the coats that were hanging by the door ; he threw one to Cyril and put on the other one . " Come on , we have to go get new toothbrushes anyway . " Ryan said as he opened the door . The three men passed each other on the stairs ; not one of them said a word . It was going to be a typical Wednesday night at the O ' Reily house , and they all knew it . Two weeks had gone by since Jamie had met Cyril . She 'd seen him four times since then , twice when she had to go get Shannon at his house , once after she 'd gone to confession , and once at Rolley 's when she stopped to get a coke . All four times he had been very nice to her , and Jamie was becoming more comfortable with him and looked forward to scrounging up Shannon for dinner . She thought about him a lot and once even wondered what he looked like naked . She knew she had to go to confession after that , but she couldn 't help liking it , she couldn 't help liking him , until that day that is . Jamie was walking home from school , dividing her time between thinking about Cyril and conjugating the verbs she 'd missed on her French test when she was stopped in front of her building . Ryan 's Green ' 69 Impala pulled up next to her , in the front seat were Ryan and Shannon , in the back ; Cyril was with Lisa Canigliaro . Jamie didn 't know why , but it bothered her that Cyril was with Lisa . Cyril wasn 't her boyfriend after all , he could be with any girl he wanted , but still Jamie 's temples pounded with jealousy . She 'd heard stories about Lisa and the things she did with boys . She hated Cyril O ' Reily at that moment , hated him for being with Lisa and doing things with her , to her . Just then Shannon spoke ; Jamie tore her eyes away from Cyril , who had his hand on Lisa 's thigh . " Hey I need ya to do me a favor . Go in my top dresser drawer and get the box of rubbers that 's in the back okay ? " She asked , exhaling as she did . The cigarette smoke floated up to Jamie and almost made her cough . " Because I can 't , if I go inside Gran 'll make me stay in for dinner , now just go get the fuckin rubbers already ! " Jamie stalked up the stoop , in the door , up the four flights of stairs and into her apartment . Gran was watching TV , as usual . Jamie ran to their room and opened Shannon 's top dresser drawer , she felt around and sure enough , there it was , in the back . She grabbed the box and looked at it for a minute . She was struck by the fact that these condoms were going to be worn by Ryan and Cyril to have sex with Shannon and Lisa . Jamie was mad , she slammed the drawer shut and stomped down the hall towards the front door . Just then her Grandmother asked where she was off to . " The ice cream truck is around the corner , I 'm gonna get an Orange Push - Up . " She hated lying to Gran , and she was mad at Shannon for making her do it . She went back outside to Ryan 's car and threw the box of condoms in the window . They erupted everywhere . " Because I felt like it , OKAY ! " Jamie yelled back at her . She turned to walk back inside when Ryan 's car took off in a tire squealing frenzy . That night , long after Jamie had fallen asleep she was awoken by the sound of Shannon fumbling around in the dark . She felt a breeze on her face and opened her eyes to see Ryan O ' Reily outside their window on the fire escape . Jamie was lying on her side with her back towards Shannon , she was watching Ryan . When he noticed she was awake he didn 't say a word , but he smiled at her and gave a little wave . Jamie smiled back ; and she was surprised that he was climbing in the window . She closed her eyes when Shannon looked over in her direction . Satisfied that Jamie really was asleep , Shannon looked back at Ryan , put her finger to her mouth and made a shooshing sound . Jamie kept her eyes closed , but she listened intently as all thoughts of trying to go back to sleep had been abandoned . She heard clothes crumpling to the floor , she heard the change in Ryan 's pockets jangling , she heard Shannon giggling quietly , they were both on Shannon 's bed , and it was squeaking a little bit . She then heard a package opening and Jamie knew exactly what it was , for she had supplied it to them that afternoon . Her mind raced , if Ryan was here with Shannon , where was Cyril ? Was he still with Lisa , having sex with her ? Was he with a different girl having sex ? Was he at home in bed like she was ? Jamie hoped it was the last . She wanted to open her eyes , but didn 't dare to . She heard Shannon 's sheets rustling , and then all was quiet . Jamie slowly opened her eyes when she finally heard something , it was Ryan , he was breathing hard , and she heard Shannon moaning quietly . The light from the lamppost outside shone on their naked , half - exposed bodies . Ryan was on top of Shannon , holding the front half of his body up with his arms while the other half rose and fell underneath the sheet . Jamie was mesmerized , she couldn 't believe they were doing it right in front of her . They knew she was awake , well Shannon didn 't but Ryan did ; yet he was doing it anyway . Shannon 's breathing was getting heavier , and her eyes were closed . She had her arms around Ryan 's neck ; she wrapped her covered legs around him . Jamie tried to be as still as a statue , if Shannon knew that she was awake and watching , she 'd kill her . Jamie 's eyes were glued to them and their connected bodies . Ryan cupped Shannon 's left breast in his hand and was flicking her nipple with his tongue , licking the crevice between her breasts . Jamie felt her own breath coming quicker and heavier , she was sweating , could feel perspiration on her upper lip . Her stomach was turning like a tornado ; she could hear her own heartbeat pounding in the very core of her body . As Ryan and Shannon continued , the tornado moved lower and lower in Jamie 's stomach , until it wasn 't in her stomach anymore , it had moved between her legs . Jamie could feel the heat and moisture that had accumulated there , it was driving her mad , and she needed to do something about it . She quietly moved her right hand from where it had been under her pillow , down between her legs . As soon as she touched herself , she couldn 't stop ; it was like a floodgate had opened , yet it felt so good . She started rubbing lightly at first , then quicker and harder as she watched Ryan 's hips pounding into Shannon underneath the sheet . It was too much for her ; she wanted to scream , to rip her clothes off . She was thinking about Cyril O ' Reily doing to her what Ryan was doing to Shannon , and her body was beginning its ascent . She was shaking , clutching her pilloIt had been a month since the condom incident when Jamie had seen Cyril and Lisa together . Jamie still hated him for being with Lisa , but she couldn 't avoid him anymore , she had to go get Shannon for dinner . She walked over , knocked on the door , walked in when he answered and yelled for Shannon to get her ass home for dinner . Cyril tried to say hello , but Jamie just turned and walked out , ignoring him completely . She walked home alone , thinking about him . Why did she like him ? Why ? It was a mystery that perplexed her , and kept her mind from clearly focusing . At 11 : 30 that night Shannon was stumbling around in the darkness of their bedroom , getting dressed . It always woke Jamie up when she did that . She thought Shannon might have stubbed her toe because she heard a thump , followed by her whispering " Fuck that hurt ! " The next thing she heard was the last thing she ever expected . " James , yes they are , you dress like you 're 90 . I don 't understand it , you have a great body and a pretty face but you dress like Gran and you don 't wear makeup . Don 't worry , I 'll fix ya up , Cyril wanted you to come tonight so I 'll make you look pretty for him . " In that instant Jamie forgot all about her clothes and makeup . " Whatever . Look , he said he wants to be friends again , that 's O ' Reily code for if you fuck me everything will be cool between us . Trust me , I know that code very well . Don 't fuck him alright ? You can give him a handjob , but that 's it . If you fuck him he won 't respect you . " " Oh , but if I give him a handjob he will respect me ? " Jamie asked sarcastically . She wanted to laugh in her cousin 's face , but she decided not to because she knew Shannon was serious . " I 'm not doing anything with him or to him . " She said as Shannon tossed her a sweater and a tiny , black skirt . " Jesus Christ , what is it with these girls , they have to take for fuckin ever to get ready ? " Ryan wondered aloud . Cyril dragged on his cigarette and watched the fire escape . " I 'm not , she 's not that kind of girl . " Cyril said , giving his brother an eyeroll in the dark . " What kind of girl ? " Ryan asked , playing dumb . " What you don 't know little brother is that once the cherry is busted , they all turn into skanks , It 'll happen to Jamie too . The good thing is that if you 're the one who busts her , she 'll be sprung on you forever . I busted Shannon and I 've got that girl wrapped fuckin tight because of it . " Ryan answered ; as if what he had just said held any factual evidence " Whatever Ryan . " Cyril said as he watched Shannon and Jamie come down the fire escape . He got out of the car so Shannon could get in front with Ryan . As he did , he and Jamie were face to face . She looked different tonight , not bad really , just different . Then he figured out that she was wearing Shannon 's clothes and makeup . He hoped this change was only temporary because he loved the way she regularly looked , it was what made her different than all the rest . She didn 't need layers of makeup and short skirts ; all she needed was what God had given her . Nevertheless , he told her she looked nice , because she did , she just didn 't look like herself . They climbed into the backseat and as usual Ryan peeled out , leaving Jamie wondering what was the point of sneaking out if he was going to squeal his tires and wake up the whole neighborhood . Ryan had driven them to the river ; he parked , and lit a cigarette . " Ya ever been here James ? " Shannon asked , turning around to face them in the backseat . " Cyril why don 't you and James go for a walk , ya know , show her around . " Shannon suggested pleasantly . Normally Cyril wouldn 't have given a damn about what Shannon was saying but this time was different for two reasons . First , he had no intention of hanging out in the backseat while his brother nailed Shannon in the front seat . Second , he was jonesin to be alone with Jamie . " Do you want to go for a walk ? " He shyly asked Jamie . " Um , sure . " She answered nervously . As they were getting out of the car , Jamie could hear a zipper being unzipped . Since she knew Shannon wore things that could easily be pulled off over her head , she figured the zipper in question must have been Ryan 's . They walked quietly , watching the river . Jamie snuck a few glances while he wasn 't looking . She liked the way he looked , his face , his hair , his clothes . He was wearing a white thermal long sleeved shirt , black baggy pants and black combat boots . His hair was back in a ponytail and he had started growing a goatee . She thought he might be cold without a jacket , but didn 't mention it . They were walking along the river , side by side . They were close enough to each other that they could have held hands if either one of them was inclined to make a move . Neither one was . There was no talking , just walking . Jamie had a million things swirling through her head . She was still so mad at him for being with Lisa , but she knew she had to get over that . She really liked Cyril , but Shannon 's warning to get his name out of her head kept coming back to her . She knew that Cyril had made mistakes , but hell , who hasn 't ? She also knew that Cyril was 20 , she was only 16 . He was a man , she was still so young and thankfully she understood what that difference meant . Then there was the time that she was lighting the candles at church and he had showed up out of nowhere to drive her home . When she told him she hadn 't confessed yet , he said he didn 't know that angels had to confess . She remembered smiling and turning red when he said it . Thinking about it now , brought on the same response . " Yes . " It was almost a whisper . They stood facing the river ; they didn 't speak for a long time . Jamie was going crazy waiting for him to do something when finally he said what she was waiting to hear . " You don 't have to be sorry about that , I mean , it 's not like you 're my boyfriend or anything . I shouldn 't have been so dumb about it I guess . " She gave him a half - hearted chuckle when she said it . " Of course . " She said , smiling . She turned away from him and started walking again . Cyril caught up to her , he wanted so badly to kiss her , but there was no way in hell he was going to fuck this up . She was going to have to make the first move , until then , he considered her no man 's land . " I don 't think he knows , Shannon never told him . If it 's something bad you don 't have to tell me , I 'll understand . " And she believed he would understand if she decided not to tell . She saw a bench up ahead , and remained silent until they reached it . When they were both seated she decided to let Cyril O ' Reily in . " My mom and dad and brother and sister were killed in a car accident , a drunk driver hit them . " She wasn 't looking at him ; she was staring straight into the river . She heard him take a deep breath when she told him . " It was Christmas Eve , they were going to midnight mass , I stayed home because I had chicken pox . . " Jamie was in the daze that she went into whenever she thought about this . " I was asleep when the phone rang . It was a policeman , he asked if I knew Robert McFadden , I told him yes , he 's my dad . He asked how old I was , when I told him I was 15 , he said he was coming to my house to talk to me . I told him that wasn 't such a good idea because I had chicken pox and he might catch it . I looked at the clock in the kitchen ; it was 2 : 17 , very early Christmas morning . I was calm , very calm , even though I knew why he was calling . I felt the tears on my cheeks , and they surprised me because I didn 't know I was crying . I spoke steadily to the cop . He told me he was on his way , and would be at my house soon . I hung up . He got there a half an hour later , just as I was turning on the Christmas tree lights . We sat down and he told me that a drunk driver crossed the lane and hit my parent 's car head - on , they spun on the ice and went over the side of the overpass . I don 't remember much after that . The funerals were a blur to me ; I never went to their graves . All the decisions were made for me , where I would live , what would happen to my house , everything . That 's why I came to live with Gran , no one else wanted me . " She stopped momentarily ; he watched her eyes as she watched the river . He wondered what was going on inside her head , wondered what the hell it must have been like for her that Christmas morning , he couldn 't even imagine it . Her voice broke into his thoughts . " Cyril , I think about my family everyday , I light candles for them at church , I pray for their souls , and I even talk to them sometimes when this gets really hard for me to deal with , but I don 't cry for them , not anymore … I have no more tears left . " He knew she was done , yet he had no words , could think of nothing to say . Finally he was able to say something , though he knew it wouldn 't help her . " I 'm glad you did , I wanted you to know . " For the first time since she 'd started , she turned and faced him . He took her hand , raised it to his lips and kissed her fingers . In the end , he had made the first move , but at that moment he needed to and never regretted doing it . " Thank you for telling me . " He said , still holding her hand . They got up and continued their walk along the river . No words were spoken as they walked in silence . When Jamie finally felt confident enough to ask what was on her mind , she broke the silence between them . " Cyril , what were you in jail for ? " She asked , praying he would tell her . He didn 't answer right away . He looked down at his feet , stroked his goatee with his free hand , and finally spoke . " Grand Theft Auto , I stole a car . " He replied , searching her eyes for disapproval . Jamie didn 't speak ; she just turned it over in her head . This situation could get very bad , very quickly and she knew it . She could not justify letting herself get involved with Cyril , considering his past , and consequently his future . " I 'm not a bad person Jamie . " He finally said . " I know you 're not . " She replied as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek . Jamie decided to let the chips fall where they may , and take a chance on Cyril O ' Reily . After that night , they were together all the time . Cyril took her to school and picked her up afterwards , took her to church and picked her up afterwards . He especially loved being alone with her , without Shannon and Ryan . It was progressing slowly , Cyril knew he had to careful with Jamie , she was only 16 , and she was so much better than he was , better than anyone . He didn 't want to take the chance of moving too quickly and scaring her off . He was happy that she would even go out in public with him . They 'd go to Rolley 's for a coke and stay there talking until she had to go home for dinner . This went on for months , until one day when Cyril picked her up and didn 't take her to Rolley 's , instead , they were heading towards the river . Jamie was smiling as she thought about the night they 'd gone to the river and changed everything between them . After a half an hour of driving in silence , Cyril pulled into the parking lot at the river . He turned the car off and they sat there listening as it pinged and rattled . His hands were still on the steering wheel ; he was looking at the river . Jamie knew he had something important on his mind , and she had a pretty good idea what it was . She didn 't want to force him to talk until he was ready , so she just sat quietly and watched him . She liked watching him , felt safe with him . Trisha Carey had told her that Cyril was a good guy to go with because people in the neighborhood knew not to fuck with him , he was a badass she 'd said . Jamie replied that she wasn 't going with Cyril and that he wasn 't a badass , he was very nice . Cyril 's voice interrupted her thoughts . " Um , no . Why would I do that ? We 're not together … are we ? " She swallowed hard and hoped that she wasn 't ruining her chance . " No , I guess not , unless you want to be , I mean , I would like it if you were my girlfriend , but ya know , whatever . " Cyril was feeling like he wanted to get the hell out of there and forget this whole thing . Why would he even think that he could be with someone like her ? She was way to good for him and they both knew it . " I would like that too . " She said quietly . " Yes , I would like that very much , but ya know , whatever . " She was smiling with him , and even though it was vague , they both knew what had just happened . They stayed at the river for awhile longer , talking and laughing about nothing really important , it was getting late and Jamie told him she had to get home for dinner . All the way home she thought about how strange it was to be someone 's girlfriend , to have a boyfriend and not just any boyfriend , Cyril O ' Reily , the guy she 's had a crush on for four months . She was smiling when he pulled up in front of her building . It was getting dark , and there weren 't too many people on the street , the streetlights were flickering above the car . " Okay . " He was quiet for a few seconds , then surprised her by asking for permission to kiss her . His face was two inches away from hers ; She whispered yes , then closed her eyes . His hands covered her cheeks . She felt the heat from his mouth before he even touched her . His lips were softly rubbing hers , it tickled , she almost laughed , but something inside stopped her . It was like a churning in her stomach , almost like the tornado she had felt the night that Ryan snuck in , but this time ; here with Cyril it was different . Then he kissed her , over and over , covering her mouth with soft kisses . She liked the way they felt . She liked doing this with him . He moved his hands from her cheeks , down to her neck , then her shoulders , tracing the line of her arms , to where they finally rested at her waist . He started tickling her a little bit , and she could no longer keep herself from laughing . What Jamie didn 't know was that he 'd tickled her to stop kissing her . He knew she would laugh and then it would be over . He also knew that if he hadn 't done it , he would have stayed in the car kissing her all night long . " Okay . " She was getting out of his car when he told her he would call at eight . Then he pulled away from the curb . She stood watching his car go up the street , could see the brake lights come on as he slowed to turn the corner . She walked up the stoop , into her building , up the four flights , and inside to her apartment . After that night , everyone knew that Jamie was with Cyril , and some things changed because of it . The guys at church who were her friends , now avoided her like the plague . The cool girls at school who used to think she was lame , now wanted to hang out and be friends with her . She was like a different person than before , but in reality she wasn 't . She had moved up in the world , it was now her turn to sit on the stoop in Cyril 's lap , watching as all the little , scared girls went by . It was now her turn to be seen and envied by the less fortunate and she loved it ! She went out with Shannon and her friends , they stole makeup and clothes for her . She started wearing way too much makeup , her clothes were like a second skin , and they were so tight . Her grades were slipping a little , but she didn 't care , she had all that she wanted in the world . She started smoking , it was a secret though , not even Shannon knew about it , and of course , Cyril didn 't know yet . She would go over to his house and the next day tell her friends how good it was to fuck him , when in reality , they would just hang out when she went over there . Of course , they would make out , but nothing even close to sex yet . She was going to be just what Cyril wanted , except he didn 't want what she was becoming . One night , she was over at his house , Ryan was out with Shannon , and his dad was out at " Jim & I 's " . She 'd told Gran she would be at confession . When she got to 3C she could tell something was on Cyril 's mind , and it was something deep . She knew that when he was real quiet he was turning something over in his head . " What is it hon , what 's going on inside ? " She asked , as they sat on the couch , she was playing with his fingers and rubbing her hand over his goatee . " I like the way I look now . Shannon has helped me a lot I think . Don 't you think ? " she said sitting up and letting go of his hand . " Cyril she is my cousin , and she 's not a whore ! And to tell you the truth I like the way I look now , because everyone looks at me and guys whistle . I never had that before and you 're just mad because everybody wants to fuck your girlfriend . You should be happy about that , it means that you got the best . I even heard Tony Ortolani say that he thought I would be a good fuck . " She told him matter - of factly . Cyril didn 't say anything , he was shocked . The girl that he absolutely swore was different than everyone else was changing into everyone else . " You know what , you 're right , I do got the best . Let 's go to my room . " He said , standing up from the couch and walking over to the entrance of the hallway . " Too bad , I am . It 's not about you being ready baby ; it 's about you being so totally fuckable now with your new look and your new attitude . No , I 'm afraid you don 't have a choice , are you gonna come willingly or am I gonna have to throw you over my shoulder ? " He walked over to where she was standing . " Cyril , please , you know I 'm not ready . " She thought he must be kidding , she 'd never seen him act like this before . Her heart was pounding and her hands were shaking . " I 'm waiting Jamie . " She still wouldn 't budge . He was almost there , just needed to scare her a little more . He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder like he said he was going to . She was screaming and kicking while he carried her back to his room He laid her down on the bed . He stood there waiting for her to realize what was going on . After a few minutes , she took her hands away from her eyes . She looked up at him , praying that he wouldn 't do anything . " I wanted to show you how all those ho 's you hang around with get treated . They don 't get respect , because they don 't deserve respect . Guys treat them like that because it 's common knowledge among men that if you 're gonna act like a whore , we 're gonna treat you like a whore . You 're not a whore , you 're my angel and I think you 're perfect just the way you are , you don 't need any help from anyone . " Jamie was quiet , her tears had stopped , and she was looking at him , unable to fully grasp what he 'd just done for her . He 'd brought her back to where she was before . How could she think that dressing like Shannon and acting like Shannon was the way to keep him , if he wanted a girl like Shannon he would have been with one . She loved him so much for wanting her just the way she was . She got up and hugged him . He kissed her neck and then he said what she 'd been waiting to hear . " I love you too baby . " She answered , kissing him . Cyril wiped the tears off her cheeks and licked them off his fingers . He kissed her forehead , then her neck then her lips . They laid down on his bed ; he was slightly on top of her . She was sucking on his lips softly ; them moved up to his ear , letting her tongue roll over it , her teeth were tugging gently on the lobe . She moved back down his neck , licking softly all the while , she could feel his hardness between them . He was kissing her neck , as her fingernails dug tenderly into his bare back ; he was kissing and softly licking her throat . He had his hand under her shirt on her bare stomach . She unbuttoned the top button of her shirt , he unbuttoned the second , third and fourth and had it opened fully . He ran his fingertips over the silky material of her bra , saw that her nipples were hard , and lightly kissed them . He pulled her bra up over her breasts ; ran his closed lips over her right breast . Her skin was so soft , her nipples were pink , he licked the right one , then the left . She breathed heavily , even moaned very softly . He could feel her trying to unbuckle his pants ; he grabbed her hand to stop her . He came up and lay next to her , closing his arms around her . " Did I do something wrong ? " " No baby , no , everything about you is so right . You 're special Jamie , and I 'm going to treat you that way . You 're not ready for this , you said so yourself , and I 'm not ready to try and convince you that you are okay ? " He said kissing her one last time before he got up . After they had both fixed themselves up , Cyril walked Jamie home , he kissed her goodnight on the stoop , and told her not to let the bedbugs bite . With that he was gone , walking up the street , she watched him turn the corner , then went inside her building . But Cyril wasn 't going home ; he was going to find Tony Ortolani . Cyril walked three blocks up to Carmine 's Pizza Palace , he knew Tony would be working tonight . He walked around the side , through the alley that separated Carmine 's from Shug 's Suds Coin - Op Laundry . Cyril approached the back door of Carmine 's . It was open slightly ; he could hear voices , and a baseball game from a radio somewhere inside . When he knocked , Carmine came to the door . " I heard you been sayin shit about Jamie . " Cyril said , hidden in the shadows of the alley . Tony could see the tip of Cyril 's cigarette as it glowed in the darkness . When he took a drag off it , Tony could see his face clearly , illuminated with an orange hue , and then it was hidden again . " Is that what you 're doing ? " He asked again , chuckling nervously . Tony turned to go back inside , when Cyril grabbed him from behind , clenched his forearm around Tony 's neck and held his cigarette a half an inch from the dago 's face . " That 's not a threat motherfucker , that 's a promise , got it ? " Cyril hissed , keeping his voice low , so as to not draw any attention . " What 's that , I can 't hear you ? " Cyril still had his arm firmly planted in Tony 's jugular . He was barely able to croak out " Fuck you O ' Reily , " when Cyril took his still burning cigarette and pressed it into Tony Ortolani 's left cheek . They both heard the sizzling , as the cig burned and melted the skin it came in contact with . Cyril knew what the lit end of a cigarette felt like when it was applied to the flesh . He knew that at first it was so hot you couldn 't even feel it . Then the excruciating pain would slowly start to build up , sounding like a swarm of bees caught inside your head . Cyril had smelled this smell before , had watched as the skin melted away before , and anyone who had ever seen his bare back would have seen two small , round scars given to him by his father 's lit cigarettes . He knew that if Ryan were here right now , the same recognition would be flooding his brother 's mind , for Ryan also had little round scars , scattered on his frame . Tony tried to scream , but nothing came out , just the sound of air passing through a slashed tire . His efforts to scream snapped Cyril back to the here and now . " Let 's try this again , are you gonna keep your mouth shut from now on ? " Cyril asked , turning his face away from the putrid smell of burning flesh that was emanating from Tony ' cheek . " All you fucking wops smell like garlic , I hate that . " With that , Cyril was gone . He knew there would be retaliation , but he wasn 't worried about it . |
The following morning everyone was up early . Josie was feeling a little better but she was still pouting over what had happened . The fact that she was sporting a large bruise on the side of head didn 't help matters any . She had already eaten breakfast and gone back to her room . Ty and Eddie came down shortly afterward and were sitting at the table eating breakfast . " No , Ty . Don 't even think such a thing . Something else is bothering dad . His reactions yesterday were way out of proportion . I don 't know what the real problem is but I promise that I 'm going to find out . Everything is going to be fine . " Melinda hoped that she could back up that promise with results . It was only seven - thirty but she decided to call her mother - in - law whom she knew to be an early riser . She had always enjoyed a good relationship with her and she hoped that Luke 's mother could give her some insight into Luke 's puzzling behavior . " Just fine , thanks . It looks like it 's going to be a glorious day but you never call this early in the morning to talk about the weather . What 's up ? I hope nothing is wrong . " " I 'm afraid something is wrong . Don 't worry . Everyone is in good health - it 's just that Luke and I are having a problem . I really feel the need to talk to you . Do you have time today for us to get together ? " " Oh , dear . Yes , we do need to talk . However , what you 've just shared with me changes things slightly . I 'll have to postpone our talk until ten o ' clock . " Melinda was tremendously relieved . Her mother - in - law was a competent woman who could be relied upon to give sound advice . She hoped that Luke would not arrive home before she had a chance to talk to the elder Mrs . Hardymon . " That was grandma Hardymon I was talking to on the phone . She 's coming over later . " Ty shot a worried look in his mother 's direction . " She already knows about your diapers . There won 't be any problem there . Now , if you guys are finished with breakfast it 's time for your showers . " Melinda told Eddie and Ty . " Call me when you 're ready to be put into fresh diapers . " This was an invitation neither boy was going to fight . As much as they adored their wet diapers , the feel of being freshly powdered and pinned into soft clean diapers was indescribable . With each diaper change the boys found it harder and harder to hide the pleasure that they were feeling . A short time later both boys were showered and diapered . Eddie had to borrow a shirt and some socks from Ty . Melinda took special notice that they selected t - shirts that Ty had more - or - less outgrown , giving them a younger more toddler - like look . " I 'm not sure , " Eddie answered first . " I spent the night here and haven 't talked to my mom yet . I 'm not sure if she 's got stuff for me to do . " " My grandmother is coming over in a little while . I 'm not sure either . " Ty chose not to mention the events of the previous night . He was pretty sure that this was why his grandmother was coming over . " I knew that I had made a mistake as soon as I said it . I was hoping that you wouldn 't pick up on it . Ever since we moved into the neighborhood I 've been jealous of Bryin getting to wear them . And , yesterday , when my mom said that you were wearing them , too … well , I was really jealous of all three of you . " " Why not ? You said you wanted to . Aren 't you going to hate yourself later on for not taking advantage of the opportunity you have right now ? " Eddie pointed out . " Lie down on this , " Ty directed . " And take your shirt off , too . I have some better ones for wearing with diapers . " ( By this he meant smaller and shorter ones that would show off a greater amount of the diaper and plastic pants . ) Mark cooperated fully , although clearly embarrassed by his mounting excitement . They powdered his diaper area , front and back . He lifted up so that they could slide the diaper under him . In just a few more moments , four diapers pins held the thick flannel diaper securely in place . Mark began giggling as he stared at his reflection . " I really am doing it ! I 'm wearing real diapers and plastic pants ! " His urge to scream was building up and his voice grew louder and louder . " Eddie 's mom had a good idea this morning . She cleaned out all of Eddie 's underwear and pants that he won 't need anymore or that won 't fit over his diapers . The Salvation Army truck will be at the supermarket in about an hour to pick up donations . Let 's get your room cleaned out too . We can 't leave these diapers sitting here on the floor forever . " Mark heard this exchange through the door and he prayed that Mrs . Hardymon wouldn 't come in and discover him . Luckily , she didn 't . With nothing to do but sit on the floor and wait , he became bored . Soon , he became conscious of an overwhelming urge to pee . After a couple of minutes of intense concentration he managed to start a small trickle . This quickly became a heavy flow as his bladder emptied itself . He hoped that the diaper would absorb everything he was giving it . ( In fact , it could have easily taken two more heavy wettings . ) Once again it was only with an great effort at self - control that Mark was able to sit quietly . What he really wanted was to scream at the top of his lungs that he had just peed his diaper and that he was proud of it ! " There , I think that 's everything , " Mrs . Hardymon announced . " Ty , you 're going to need all new pants and shorts . Oh , and I wish you 'd check your pockets for money before taking your pants off . I put what I found on the dresser . " They went downstairs . The boxes of old clothes were loaded into the car . Mrs . Pfelgaur remembered to have Eddie fetch his new diapers and plastic pants from the den where they were sitting since last night . In the meantime , Mrs . Hardymon put Ty 's dirty shirts and socks into the washer . " Boy , that was close . I have to leave now . My mom said I could only stay a little while . She needs me to help her deliver some stuff to the old folks home for their white elephant sale . What did you do with my shirt and pants ? " " You mean you just let your mom give my pants away ? Those pants were practically brand new ! My mom 's going to have a fit . " Mark said , panicking . " I guess I 'll have to borrow a pair of yours . If my mom notices I 'll tell her that I spilled something and that you loaned me a pair of yours . " " You can 't have any of my pants , " Ty said . " What I mean is , I don 't have any pants . All of mine are gone - pants , shorts , underwear , even my bathing suits . " Mrs . Hardymon was returning from checking on Josie ( who was still asleep as a result of the medication she was taking ) when she heard Mark Haddlin 's voice coming from Ty 's room . She stopped and listened . Yes , it was him . She knocked . Mark bounded back into the bathroom and closed the door , but not as gently as last time . Outside in the hallway Mrs . Hardymon distinctly heard the sound of the bathroom door . She walked a few steps down the hall and grabbed a few towels from the linen closet . Something was going on in Ty 's bathroom and she was going to find out what it was . Mark was becoming frantic . It sounded like Mrs . Hardymon intended to come into the bathroom . He jumped into the tub and , as quietly as possible , pulled the shower curtain closed . At that same moment the door opened . " Just as I thought , " Mrs . Hardymon said over her shoulder to Ty and Eddie . " When will you guys learn not to throw towels on the floor ? Couldn 't you try using a towel rack at least once ? " Mark 's heart was pounding , the thumping loud in his ears . She was mere inches away from him as she adjusted the curtain to make it hang inside the tub . Suddenly , she pulled the curtain back . ( Even though she acted surprised , she fully expected to find Mark . ) He froze in terror - his eyes becoming saucer - sized - as he focused on her . He tried to use his hands to hide his bulging diaper and plastic pants , which was as effective as trying to hide an elephant behind a mouse . Mrs . Hardymon sized up in an instant what was going on . Mark was mortified . He was frantically trying to stop the flow of urine but it was hopeless ; he had lost all control . Finally , his bladder emptied . Tears started overflowing his eyes . Mrs . Hardymon took some tissue from the dispenser and handed it to him . By the time Mrs . Hardymon had ended her questioning , Ty had everything set out . A few seconds later Mark was stretched out on the bed . In this prone position he knew that his diaper and plastic pants were even more prominent . He began to cry silent tears again . She didn 't really mean to add this last comment . It just slipped out . She regretted making reference to what happened between Tyler and his dad as soon as she said it . Trying to backtrack , she added , " Well , that 's not important now . From the little I overheard of your conversation I take it that Mark 's pants were given away along with your stuff . That 's just great . Now , how do you suppose we can explain that to Mark 's parents ? Not to mention that we have nothing else to give him except more diapers and plastic pants ! " By now Mrs . Hardymon had undressed Mark and was in the process of cleaning his diaper area . Despite his embarrassment at Mrs . Hardymon seeing him naked below the waist , he was beginning to calm down . But , Mrs . Hardymon 's blunt assessment of the situation had made him nervous about what his parents would say when they found out . He was also feeling guilty about getting his friends into trouble . " Mrs . Hardymon , don 't be mad at Ty , " he said looking up at her as she was pinning on his diaper . " It 's really all my fault . I begged him to let me try on the diaper and plastic pants . I shouldn 't have hidden in the bathroom earlier , and again , right now . My pants would still be here if I had faced the consequences right at the start . I apologize for my behavior and for trying to hide it from you . " Mrs . Hardymon would have been impressed by Mark 's maturity if only she wasn 't pinning him into a thick diaper . The absurdity of the whole situation suddenly struck her . She began to laugh . " I 'm sorry Mark . I 'm not laughing at you or what you said . But just look around the room - three teenaged boys wearing diapers by their own choice . Besides , all of you look rather cute in your diapers and puffy plastic pants . " Eddie started giggling , followed by Ty and lastly by Mark . The first wave of tension was dissipated . Mrs . Hardymon helped Mark get into his plastic pants . " Well , Mark , I 'm afraid that I have to call your mom and dad and tell them what 's happened . I already promised to call your mom to explain about Ty and Eddie 's diapers . I suppose she 'll be surprised to learn that you 're part of the story now . " Seeing Mark 's glum face she added , " Years from now this will be one of those funny family stories that your children will never believe . " Mark dialed the phone and Mrs . Hardymon spoke to Mrs . Haddlin . She started out telling the story of Mark 's misfortune in a light and breezy way , as if she were telling a funny story . However , it soon became obvious that Mrs . Haddlin was not amused . Mrs . Hardymon became serious as she finished the story . Mrs . Hardymon hung up the phone . Unfortunately , she didn 't really believe it . She thought that Mark was in for some serious trouble for a little while . " Now who 's being overly dramatic ? " she thought to herself . " I 've known Martha Haddlin for twenty - five years . She 'll discipline Mark in a thoroughly reasonable way . " The boys went back up to Ty 's room while Melinda continued straightening up downstairs . A short while later the doorbell rang . It was Mark 's mother . The boys were already on their way down . When Mark heard the doorbell he had presumed that it was his mother . " I may as well get this over with , " he said . " I hope she brought some pants for me to wear . " " No , I didn 't . As I understand it , you begged to be put into that diaper and plastic pants , now you can wear them . So , stop stalling , I need your help . " " So , there you have it . I see no reason to punish you by taking away the clothes you asked for . We 've wasted enough time . Let 's go . " She grabbed Mark by the wrist and practically dragged him out of the house . It was a good thing for Mark that he had emptied his bladder a short while earlier . Who knows what his mother would have done if he had flooded them at that very moment ? Ty and Eddie watched Mark and his mom get into the van . They sat there for a few minutes . Mrs . Haddlin seemed to be lecturing Mark sternly . It wasn 't even ten o ' clock in the morning and Mrs . Hardymon already felt like she had had an exhausting day . " What 's up with these boys and their diapers ? " she wondered . " How come her nephew , her son , and his two friends are so strongly attracted to them ? Had she made a mistake when Tyler was five and she put him back into thick overnight diapers to try to encourage him to become dry ? No sense wasting energy trying to figure that one out , " she concluded . " Some things are simply inexplicable . " " No , not yet . I 'm really not surprised since it seems that he had several beers last night . He 's not used to drinking so I 'm sure he must have a terrible hangover this morning . " " Yes , dear , I 'm sure that I do . Before we talk I would like you to read what 's inside here , " Sarah said pulling out a thick wad of paper from the envelope . " Sit here and read , " Sarah suggested . " Is Tyler in his room ? Do you think he would mind if I went up to say hello ? " Relief swept over his face as he realized that his grandmother wasn 't going to lecture him about his diapers . In fact , what she did caught him by surprise . After hugging him and kissing him on the cheek she gave his bottom a couple of approving pats and asked , " So , tell me , are you glad that your mom caught you wearing your cousin 's diapers ? " " It 's OK , grandma . I just hadn 't thought of it that way . Now that you ask , yes I am happy to be able to wear diapers all the time . I just wish that dad didn 't hate me now . " " Don 't even think such a thing . That 's just not true , " his grandmother reassured him . " That 's why I 've come over here today . There are some things that your dad and I have to talk about . After your dad comes home , I hope we can all sit down together and do something to help him . " " Oh . No nothing like that . I didn 't mean to scare you . This is more personal . Today , your dad is going to need you to help him grow up a little bit . Can I count on you ? " " This explains so much , " Melinda said . " Ever since I 've known Luke there were certain things in his behavior that I found odd . Nothing extreme , of course , just odd . Now I know where they come from . Thank you . " " Oh no , please don 't thank me . I should have told you these things years ago . But Luke was always adamant that they weren 't important any more . I think that yesterday proved otherwise . We 've got to make sure that Luke doesn 't drive a wedge between himself and Tyler . " " I 've given that some thought since we spoke this morning . I 'm no psychologist but it seems to me that Luke is acting like a thirteen year old again because he 's never allowed himself to admit his weaknesses . Again , I blame myself because I let him and his father railroad me into believing that everything would somehow magically go away . I never actually believed that , and now I feel guilty for not acting sooner . When Luke gets home I 'll lay my cards on the table , " she said pointing to the papers lying in front of her , " and we 'll go from there . I expect that Luke will be upset with me but it will be worth it if gets him back on track with Tyler . It frightens me terribly that Tyler is beginning to think that his father doesn 't love him anymore over such a silly thing as wanting to wear diapers . " Luke didn 't get home . for another forty - five minutes . He didn 't look very well . His drinking binge the night before left him much the worse for wear . If he was surprised to see his mother he didn 't show it . He was an intensely private person and even though he knew that his wife must be upset with him over his behavior last night he hoped that his mother was unaware of it . He didn 't have to wait long to find out that not only was she aware of it but that it was the cause of her visit this morning . Almost before he had settled onto the couch , she thrust the medical records toward him . Since he had never seen them before he was momentarily confused . As awareness dawned on him he looked pleadingly toward his mother . ' Don 't reveal these to my family , ' his gaze seemed to say . His mother , however , was determined to have the truth exposed once and for all . " Luke , Melinda has already read them . As a nurse she clearly understands what they mean . Isn 't it time that you lower your defenses and let your wife and family know everything there is to know about your past ? " Whatever reaction either of them had expected it wasn 't the one they got . Luke 's eyes pooled up with tears that began streaming down his face . He slowly rocked back and forth , his body racked by sobs . " Why can 't you leave this in the past ? " he gasped . " No one needs to know . It 's all over , forgotten , healed . " " So far , you 've only managed to hurt him . He 's no longer sure if you love or hate him . He understands perfectly well that his wanting to wear diapers makes him different from his friends . Your actions are making him think that he is unlovable for what he has chosen . Is that what you want him to believe ? " " Now that I 've read your file I can see that many things are unchanged - physically , that is . You didn 't tell me the whole truth when you said you needed pads in your underwear to prevent embarrassment from ' slight dripping ' . Also , I now understand why you get up about five times a night . It has nothing to do with chronic insomnia , you trained yourself to do that , didn 't you ? You may have spent years kidding yourself that your problem had gone away but I can see that it hasn 't - and you know it , too . Why can 't you trust me ? Us - your family ? " This last part sounded accusatory and she wished that she hadn 't asked it but it couldn 't be taken back . Melinda wanted to close up the distance between herself and her husband . She went over to the couch and sat beside him . When he made no motion to reject her , she placed her arms around his shoulders and pulled him close . He meekly complied . Her gentle stroking of his hair was deeply comforting . " OK , " he said as much to himself as to his wife and mother , " I guess I 've got to talk to Tyler and Josie . The sooner the better , I think . Are they home ? " Melinda explained that Tyler was in his room and that Josie had not come down yet . Luke decided that he wanted to speak to Ty alone . He went up to his son 's room and knocked . " Son , I 'm really sorry about my behavior toward you and Eddie last night . It will never happen again , I promise . I love you very much and I never want to lose you . I hope you can forgive me . " Sarah was waiting alone in the den . Ty and his father sat next to each other on the couch . Melinda returned a minute later and announced that Josie felt a lot better and that she would be down soon . The few minutes they spent waiting for Josie were a little awkward but Sarah managed to keep the conversation going . Josie arrived and Luke cleared his throat nervously . " I have always told you kids that whenever you have a problem you should come and talk to me or mom . I have told you that in a family we share each other 's problems so that they become easier to bear . For a long time I 've had a problem that I haven 't shared with you the way I should have . I 'm sorry that I didn 't trust you and mom . " He paused , unsure of how to continue . He didn 't want Ty and Josie to pity him ; he wanted them to learn the value of trust . Perhaps he had waited too long to try to teach them this lesson . " Well , " he thought to himself , " whatever happens , I hope I don 't mess my kids up by what I 'm about to share with them . " " Let me start at the end , OK ? Ty , I reacted to Eddie and you the way I did last night because you reminded me of something from my childhood and teenage years . I wore diapers and plastic pants all the time until I was fifteen because I needed to . In fact , I should never have stopped . Let me explain . " Ty and Josie were shocked . It appeared that Ty wanted to say something but his dad asked him to hold off until he finished his story . He went on to explain the he was born with a condition that caused him to have an underdeveloped bladder and extremely weak urinary control . At the age of fifteen , his ability to control his bladder was no better than it had been when he was six months old . Even now , it was hardly any better . " And I blame myself for that , " the elder Mrs . Hardymon said . Turning her attention to her son , she added , " I allowed your father to bully you and me . He never wanted anyone else to find out about your problem . We wouldn 't allow you to go on overnights ; we made sure that your diapers and plastic pants were dried in the basement where no one could see them . It was no wonder that you felt so ashamed ; we made it seem that everything to do with your diapers was shameful . Our actions even made it seem like we were ashamed of you . Why , even your visits to the doctor were kept secret ! " she said in a tone that made it clear how disgusted she was with herself . " Mom , it 's OK , " Luke assured her . " I don 't blame you . I remember how you fought me and dad when I said that I wouldn 't wear diapers anymore . Dad encouraged me because he always believed that I wasn 't trying hard enough and that this ' would make a man out of me . ' You knew better ; you knew that this would only make my life more difficult . In the end you were right : I still couldn 't join any teams or go on overnights . I couldn 't even tell my friends why ; I wound up lying to them and telling them that you wouldn 't allow it . " Luke turned his attention to his wife . " When I met you , Melinda , I wanted to be honest and tell you everything but I had gotten so used to lying I didn 't know how to tell you the truth . Most of all , I was afraid that you would laugh at me or reject me . Then , when we were married and you were pregnant with Tyler , I was frantic that the baby might inherit my condition . I should have told you about the risk . I 'm so sorry that I didn 't have the courage to speak up . I 'll do better from now , please believe me . " " No , dear , " Melinda interrupted . " It 's like we tell the children . You don 't continue to beat yourself up once you 've admitted your mistake . The proper thing is to move on . " " Maybe not right away , " his mother said . " If I did something wrong , just say so . But , I was fairly certain that this was how things would work out so I stopped and got you all the supplies you 'll need . I even bought some pants to fit over your … your new underwear . " " It 's OK , mom . This family isn 't hiding things anymore . You can say it out loud - you got me some pants to fit over my diapers . Where are they ? Out in the car ? " Ty wasn 't the least bit shy about going outside dressed in diapers and plastic pants . In fact , he took his dad 's invitation as a sign that he had accepted his son 's desire to wear diapers fulltime . Looking at the packages , it seemed to Ty that his grandmother had gotten his dad about the same number of diapers and plastic pants as he himself had gotten yesterday . Back inside , Melinda and Luke went up to their bedroom . " It 's OK , grandma . I know that I look kind of bad but I feel a lot better . I didn 't want to eat anything this morning but now I 'm kind of hungry . " " Sarah , I 'm afraid you 've underestimated how much your little boy has grown . You bought him 34 " pants which is his normal size without diapers . I think he 'll need 36 " pants . " " Oh , my , " Sarah chuckled , " how fast they grow up and out ! Well , no problem , we can fix that right now . I 've been talking to Ty and Josie and they agree that today would be a good day for a special family lunch together . What would you say to going out and buying pants for Tyler and Luke then having lunch out . Do you think that it would be OK ? " " Sure , honey . Let 's leave right away , " Melinda suggested . " Tyler , go upstairs and tell dad that we 'll be back in about forty - minutes . Let him know about our lunch plans , too . " Neither Luke nor Melinda were particularly prudish . Especially on weekends , it was not unusual for them to get up and to put on the coffee while dressed in only boxers and a t - shirt or some other nightwear . Sometimes the kids were already up and sometimes they weren 't . He supposed that sooner or later his children would see him wearing his diapers . So , when Luke heard Tyler hesitate over saying the word diapers he made a decision . He opened the bedroom door and stood there in white socks , t - shirt , plastic pants and diaper . Judging by the puffiness of his dad 's plastic pants , Tyler guessed that he must be wearing a thick flannel diaper similar to his own . The major difference in their respective looks was that his dad 's plastic pants had four snaps running up each side . After some channel hopping , they settled on a Cleveland / Boston baseball game , even though it was already in the fourth inning and neither team was local . For some reason unknown to his dad , Ty had always been an ardent Boston fan . Just for the fun of it , Luke began rooting for Cleveland . By the top of the seventh , Cleveland was ahead 12 - 3 . Ty was getting frustrated but he wouldn 't admit that Boston was anything but a perfect team . When Cleveland hit another two - run homer Luke reached out from his chair and gave Ty ( who was stretched out on his stomach on the couch ) a playful swat on the seat of his plastic pants . His dad came charging from his chair and Ty barely had enough time to jump off the couch to defend himself . Even though Ty had gone through a couple of growth spurts he hadn 't yet bulked out like his dad . Luke had a clear advantage in size and weight but he didn 't press it . Nonetheless , he quickly got Ty in a headlock and was dragging him out to the entrance hall where there was more room ( and he didn 't want to break anything in the den and have to listen to Melinda 's complaints about it ! ) . Luke then released Ty 's arms and pulled up his t - shirt and began tickling him . Regardless of how much he bucked and wriggled he couldn 't shake his dad . After about a minute Ty 's sides were beginning to hurt . " Because I was afraid that I would wet my pants , " he answered seriously . In a lighter tone , he smiled , " So , you 'd better watch it now . I 'll be ready to take you on at any time . " " OK , the game 's over . Sorry you lost - not ! , " his dad teased . " The shoppers have been gone for an hour and a half ; I 'd say they 'll be home soon . Let 's get you changed into dry diapers ? " Luke surveyed the room and shook his head . All his life he had been meticulous . His clothes and possessions were always in perfect order . Surveying his son 's room he was trying to decide if its condition was the result of a hurricane or a flood . Nonetheless , he chuckled to himself . " How can Ty live in this mess ? " he thought . By the time Ty had returned , Luke had found the bag of diapers and plastic pants on the floor by the dresser . Bryin had a large changing table with plenty of space for his diapers , plastic pants and diapering supplies . Is this what his dad was referring to ? Ty hadn 't thought of the possibility on his own but now that his father had brought it up he was rather hoping that he could have one , too . Ty lied down on the towel and his father began changing him . Luke consciously worked slowly and gently , remembering the rare occasions when his father grudgingly changed him . He removed Ty 's plastic pants and diaper . He took a wipe and began cleaning Ty 's diaper area . Ty interrupted his concentration by asking a question . " No , that 's OK , " he reassured Ty . " It 's a fair question . Grandma bought me this style of pants because when I was your age I would change myself at school . I was able to remove my plastic pants and unpin my diaper without taking my pants completely off . For the life of me I can 't remember why I thought it was so important that I not completely remove my pants when changing my diaper . Anyway , I guess Grandma remembered the fuss I made about wearing pull - up pants at school so she got me these to wear over my daytime diapers . " " Kewl , " Ty approved . " I guess I 'll have to change my own diapers at school , too . Do you think I can get some plastic pants like yours ? " As they were talking Luke placed a fresh diaper under Ty and pinned it . He then slipped a new pair of plastic pants up Ty 's legs and over the diaper . Ty stood up to get his plastic pants checked for any stray diaper material . Luke then went to change himself and together they waited for the ' girls ' to return from their shopping . " Sorry we 're late , " Melinda apologized , " but we ran into Eddie and Bunny while shopping . She made us realize that we needed to do more than just buy pants for you guys . She and Eddie were on the way to a luggage shop to see what they could find in the way of diaper bags - you know , that would be big enough for his diapers . We tagged along and spent forty - five minutes in just that one place . I hope you 'll like our choices . We got one for each of you when you 're alone . And this larger one for when you are out together . That way you won 't have to carry around two bags . What do you think ? " " Yes , this seems to be just about right , " he judged . " Not too big but with plenty of room for three or four diapers and plastic pants . I also like that it is a dark color and that it looks like a sports bag ; it will attract less attention . I think these will do very well . " " Oh , yeah - sorry . " she answered , picking up the bag with two pairs of pants and two shorts for him . " And here are yours , " she said handing another bag to Ty . Lunch was a great success . Ty felt very proud of his dad . Forgotten were his hurtful words of the previous night , replaced by admiration for his dad 's sharing with him today . It was amazing what twenty - four hours could do . Yesterday , he was convinced that his father hated him for wanting to wear diapers . Now he understood what had caused his dad 's reaction and , incredibly , his dad had consented to go back into diapers himself . The first results of this decision were immediately obvious . The family had never experienced a more relaxed outing . In the past , Ty 's dad has always been rushing them . Ty had long ago concluded that his dad was a workaholic who didn 't know how to take time off . Now he knew differently - his dad had been afraid to wet his pants ! Today , Ty wondered if the waiter wouldn 't throw them out because they had lingered so long after eating . In the end , it was Josie 's impatience that made them leave . As they were going back to the car , Ty 's dad asked if anyone was interested in going to a movie . Here was another immense surprise . As far back as Ty could remember , his dad had never gone to a movie . Ty agreed eagerly but the ' girls ' said that they wanted to get home . Josie wanted to go over to a friend 's house , Melissa wanted to finish some house work , and Grandma Hardymon said that she wanted to go home to rest . Because Grandma Hardymon had driven her own car to the restaurant she volunteered to take Melissa and Josie home . Ty and his dad went directly to the CineComplex down the road . They selected their movie and had to wait a full hour before show time . They entered the almost deserted bathroom and went into the large handicapped stall at the end . Inside the stall there was a baby changing table with a sign clearly indicating that the weight limit was fifty pounds . Obviously Ty couldn 't be changed there . Nonetheless , Mr . Hardymon lowered it so that he could park their diaper bag off the floor . As Ty removed his shirt he suddenly got very nervous . He realized that in a few more seconds he would be totally naked except for his shoes and socks . His dad noticed his panic building . " It 's OK , son . I know you 're embarrassed . Once we get you some side - snap plastic pants you won 't have to get so undressed to change yourself . " " OK , the next step is to reach into each leg opening and unpin the bottom pins , being careful not to jab you 're your plastic pants with the points … Good , now lower your plastic pants just a little and take out the top pins … Let down your diaper and plastic pants together . OK , give them to me and I 'll put them in the bag while you begin wiping yourself . " Ty accepted the wipe from his dad and began cleaning himself . He was sure that his mom or dad would have done a better job but he was getting more and more nervous about his state of undress . His dad handed him a fresh diaper . " Back up against the wall and let go of one side and pin the top pin on the other side … Now , without moving away from the wall take the loose ends from the other side and pin the top pin on that side , but not too tightly . Finish pinning your diaper by tightly pinning the bottom pin on each side . The reason for leaving the top pin loose is so that you will have enough room to reach into your diaper and apply powder . " Once Ty had powdered himself and securely tightened the top pins , Mr . Hardymon handed him a pair of plastic pants . Ty quickly pulled them up . His dad showed him how to check around each leg opening to insure that the pants were a tight fit without any stray diaper material exposed . Ty finished dressing . The movie turned out to be something of a dud but Ty and his dad didn 't care . It was the first movie they had ever seen together and each hoped it would not be the last . Leaving the parking lot , Ty 's dad took a right instead of a left , the direction that would have led towards home . Mr . Hardymon removed his briefcase from the trunk before going up to the front door . He was greeted by a man who seemed to know him and they went inside . A few minutes later he came back to the car . [ In two weeks , Ty would have a brand new changing table just like Bryin 's . ] " For now , yes , " Ty 's dad answered . " But please order a dozen more . How long do you think they will take to arrive . " " Let me check the label , " he said picking one up . " This company usually ships the same day . I would say that they will be here in four business days or less . " " See , with these plastic pants I 'll be able to change my own diaper at school without having to take my pants completely off , " he said excitedly . " I can 't wait to show Eddie and Mark ! Can I try one on now , dad ? " Then he went on to explain Ty 's near panic while being changed in the theater restroom . He told her how , watching Ty standing naked except for shoes and socks , he remembered why the snap - sided pants were so important . Illogical as it may be , he recalled how having his pants around his ankles while putting on a new diaper made him feel less naked , less vulnerable to discovery . Ty came running back into the kitchen . He had removed his shirt , pants , and shoes and was now wearing only his socks , diaper , and side - snap plastic pants . These were made of shinier and thicker plastic than his others ; they rustled and crackled more loudly , too . Ty wasn 't sure yet , but he thought he liked the fact that these pants would be more difficult to hide because of the noise they made . His dad checked him and told him that he had done a good job . Melissa then asked if anyone was ready for a sandwich . Ty and his dad accepted eagerly . Ty was dispatched to his sister 's room to find out if she wanted to join them . She snickered at her brother 's appearance but didn 't say anything for fear of getting her dad angry . A few minutes later when Melissa called for the kids to come and eat Ty was wearing one of his short t - shirts . Instead of making his diaper and plastic pants less obvious , the t - shirt seemed to emphasize the roundness of Ty 's bottom and the fullness of the bulge in front . Ty 's was so happy about his new look that he had had trouble tearing himself away from his mirror . " It 's getting dark . You should go over to Uncle Henry and Aunt June 's to water the lawn and to take the mail into the house . Come right back after you 're finished . They 're coming back tomorrow afternoon so , tomorrow morning , we 'll go over together to wash the diapers and plastic pants you and Eddie wore . " Ty got up from the table and walked out the front door . His parents were only mildly surprised that he didn 't put on a pair of pants . Ty , on the other hand , was hoping that he hadn 't made a monumental mistake by leaving the house also dressed in only his diaper and plastic pants . The darkness was deepening quickly and no one was roaming the neighborhood . Despite his nervousness he was disappointed that no one got to see him . He arrived at his aunt and uncle 's and quickly took care of business . The house was equipped with sprinklers ( manual , not automatic ) so he had to turn each one on for five minutes in sequence . While the first set of sprinklers was running in the back yard he brought in the mail . He thought about turning on the TV but decided to sit outside by the sprinkler valves to look up at the stars . He was overtaken by a sense of awe and contentment . He felt so lucky to be thickly diapered ; the gentle crinkling of his plastic pants brought a smile to his face . He started up the next set of sprinklers and laid down on his back . He relaxed and let his bladder empty . His flow was strong and the sound of his peeing could be distinctly heard in the quiet of the evening . He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of his warm pee soaking into the diaper . He was becoming quite hard by the time he was finished . " God , Mark , don 't sneak up on me like that ! I almost had a heart attack , " he said , getting up and looking closely at what Mark was wearing . " Wow , those diapers are huge . Is that what you 're mom is making you wear all the time ? " Ty asked . " No , that 's OK . I want to talk about it , " Mark said taking a deep breath . " It was awful . There were lots of people there and I freaked out . I wouldn 't get out of the van . I guess my mom figured that that might happen so she had her plan all set . She told me that for every article that she delivered to the white elephant booths while I was still sitting in the van she would drag me around with her one full day while she did her errands . She said that tomorrow that would mean grocery shopping and going to the dentist . The next day it would be to the dry cleaners and to her hair dresser . After that , she would be going back to work … I got the message . I got out of the van and helped her deliver the stuff . Everybody was looking at me and making comments to each other . Greg Netherfeld ( a classmate ) was there , too . He made a real scene : falling over laughing and pointing ; asking me if I needed to be changed . I wish I could have decked him but my mom would have gone even more ballistic . Finally , we had all the stuff delivered and I thought that we would be coming home . No such luck . She took me out to buy my own diapers and plastic pants . I just about died when Mr . Goodwin came out of the back room . My mom told him what we had come for but he said he could only fill a part of the order today . The rest of my stuff will arrive next week . " " Lots , " Mark answered . " Even Mr . Goodwin said that he didn 't think I would need everything she was asking for . So , she reduced the order but told Mr . Goodwin that I would be needing diapers for a very long time . " " My dad didn 't go as ballistic as I thought he would but he 's letting my mom have her way on how I 'm going to be treated . She 's making sure that I don 't change any of my habits . Even though I don 't get pants , I still have to be out of the house by nine o ' clock in the morning and , except for lunch , I have to stay out until dark . " " Yeah , of course . " Before his mother could ask more questions , he changed the subject . " Mom , " I 'm kind of wet . Can you change me into my nighttime diapers now ? " " Boy , you weren 't kidding when you said you needed a change . You certainly sound like one squishy boy . We 'd better keep a close eye on you so that don 't float away some day . " By now they had reached Ty 's room and his dad bounced him playfully onto the bed . The diapering ritual began immediately . Mr . Hardymon laid out a changing pad which Ty scooted onto . He threw his whole weight against his dad who was caught off guard and fell to the floor . Despite the element of surprise Ty was at a disadvantage because of his father 's superior size and reach . Ty was quickly pinned again and his father showed no mercy . " No , stop , please … I can 't take it … OK , you win , " he gasped between guffaws of laughter . And when his dad kept on going , " Oh , no , my diaper 's leaking . Please , stop . " Luke sheepishly left the room while Melinda took over Ty 's diaper change . Luke was much more adept at diaper changes than Melinda but Ty didn 't mind . He used the extra time to begin plotting his revenge against his father . The plan wasn 't complete yet , but he began to see a glimmer of how he would accomplish it . Ty let out a loud sigh of boredom just as his dad entered the room with a spray bottle of carpet cleaner . He took one look at his father and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets . His dad was dressed in bulging nighttime diapers and plastic pants , too . And , just as Ty intended doing , he was wearing a very short t - shirt that barely covered the waistband of his plastic pants . Melinda , sensing that something was going on behind her back , turned around and saw her husband cleaning the wet spot . Unlike Ty , she didn 't act surprised in the least . Ty was flabbergasted and delighted . It looked as if his dad was going to allow himself to be seen in his nighttime diapers , too . This was much more than he had dared to hope for . His mother was finally finished and she was checking to make sure that his plastic pants had completely covered his diapers . ( To her way of thinking one leaky diaper per day was quite enough . ) Satisfied , she gave Ty a loud but gentle pat on the seat of his plastic pants and sent him downstairs . His dad was already watching another game . Melinda decided to stay upstairs to give the ' boys ' more time to bond . She just hoped that they didn 't tear the house down . Everything was calm for the rest of the evening . When Josie returned home she also sensed that her dad and Ty needing private time so she quietly went upstairs to her room . About an hour later Luke carried his sleeping son to bed . " Good night , son , sweet dreams , " he said kissing Ty on the forehead . Was it merely coincidence that Ty smiled at that very moment ? Or was Ty reacting to the crinkling of his dad 's plastic pants ? Luke went upstairs to get ready for work . Melinda followed him a minute or so later . Josie hadn 't said much yet . As soon as their parents were gone , she started in on Ty . " How wet is the baby this morning ? Do you need your dry sister to help you ? I hope your panties aren 't going to leak all over the place . " Ty felt frustrated because his sister was right . He wouldn 't get physical with her . His parents would have a fit if he did . Still , he had to figure out a way to get his sister in trouble . Maybe she didn 't remember it , but their mom had told Josie to stop calling Ty and Eddie 's plastic pants panties . He would trap her one way or another . After breakfast , Ty 's mom asked him to try on his soccer shorts . He pulled them up and tied the drawstring . The waist was fine , but they definitely ballooned out ( just like Bryin 's did ) . Ty was on the verge of saying that he looked like Bryin and that everyone would know that he was wearing diapers underneath . He stopped himself in time , though . ' I guess I 'll have to live with it , " he thought . " This is what I want . " His mother sighed as she realized that Ty wasn 't going to do anything to cover his diapers even though he could wear his new pants or his soccer shorts to cover up his diapers and plastic pants . Considering her husband 's genuine need for diapers , Melinda wasn 't sure how to handle Ty . He was exhibiting the same desires and behaviors as Bryin . He didn 't seem to care how many people saw him in his diapers . " Go get the diapers and plastic pants that you and Eddie wore and bring them to the laundry room . You 're going to need to know how to care for them . I have no intention of taking responsibility for your diapers . " Melissa showed him which washing machine setting to use . She directed him to separate out the plastic pants . She would show him how to hand wash them after he finished his morning chores . He consulted the list that his aunt had left and saw that all she wanted him to do was to bring in the newspaper ( which they had already done ) and to check the houseplants for watering , especially the ones in the living room . That 's where he was when Mark showed up . " I think so , " Mark answered dejectedly . " I don 't mind that people know that I 'm wearing diapers - it 's just that it 's scary having people actually see the diapers . Today , I have to go with her shopping for a drying rack for my plastic pants and then she says we 're going shopping for some new pants for me . " The more Mark talked about his mother 's treatment of him the more envious Ty became . He was imagining what it would be like to go shopping with his diapers and plastic pants fully exposed . " I wonder how I could l get my mom to take me around like that ? " he wondered . Melinda called Ty into the kitchen . Mark went with him . Melinda didn 't comment on his double diapering although she did raise her eyebrows as he walked in . When they arrived home Eddie was waiting on the front lawn . Melinda sighed inwardly as she noticed his plastic pants gleaming in the sunlight . The boys went up to Ty 's room . Eddie wanted to know everything that had happened since Mark left for the white elephant sale with his mom . Eddie sympathized with Mark about being seen in public but he was also fascinated by the story . He shared his own experiences about going shopping with his mother the day before . " The first stop we made was at the Old Navy store to get me some pants . I was a little scared but it was way cool to wear diapers in public . A lot of people noticed me but nobody said anything bad . A couple of ladies asked my mom about my diapers buy my mom didn 't really answer them . She just said that this was the way things were and we kept on shopping . After I tried on the pants and shorts , my mom made me take them off until they were paid for . At the cash register my mom asked for some scissors to cut off the tags of the jeans I just got . I didn 't really want to wear them right away but my mom said we were going to the mall next so I agreed . Going to the mall in just diapers was way too risky ! " During Eddie 's story it occurred to Ty that he was the only one who hadn 't yet gone out to a crowded area in just diapers . Yesterday , at the movies , he had been wearing pants so he didn 't feel like he had been initiated like Eddie and Mark . He was even a little jealous of their exploits . " I guess she would . I don 't know . But I 'll do everything to convince her ! " Mark said . " But will your mom let you go like that ? " " That 's easy for you to say now , " Eddie continued . " Me and Mark have already been seen wearing our diapers in public places . How do we even know that your mom said that you have to wear pants ? Maybe you just made that up to get out of your promise . " " I 'll prove it , " Ty said defiantly . " When I go to Mark 's after lunch . I 'll leave my pants at your house , Eddie , and I 'll pick them up before I come back home . Eddie and Mark left a short while later . Mark was especially happy that Ty had taken the bait . He and Eddie had clearly heard Ty 's mother tell him that he would have to wear pants on the shopping trip . They had made up the story of not believing him because they knew he couldn 't resist a challenge , especially if someone called him chicken . About an hour later Ty arrived at Mark 's house . As promised , he was not wearing any pants . He felt a little nervous about going out to a crowded store like this but it was too late for him to back down . " Hi , " Mark said as Ty came into the yard . " My mom 's waiting for the baby sitter . Do you want to go inside to my room ? " " Yeah , OK , " Ty answered . " You 're only wearing one diaper . Did your mom change her mind about making your diapers super - obvious ? " " Not really . When she changed me after lunch she said that I would be wearing one diaper for the shopping trip only because I have to try on pants . After we come back she says she 'll put me back into double diapers . " Mark led the way to the kitchen hoping that Mrs . Tanger wouldn 't see them in their diapers and plastic pants . However , the baby sitter was in the kitchen getting herself some water . The baby sitter wasn 't Mrs . Tanger , either . It was Pam Byers a fellow student of Mark and Ty ! Her eyes bulged and she nearly choked on her water as she focused on them . Neither Ty nor Mark knew what to do . There was nowhere to hide so they tried to get past her and out the door . She deliberately blocked their way . " Nice pants , Mark . And , you too , Ty . Are those real baby pants with snaps on the side ? What did you guys do to get punished like this ? " " Oh , they 're not being punished , " she said nonchalantly . " They asked to be dressed like this . Isn 't that right , boys ? " " Well , anyway , " she continued , " they did . I don 't know why they 're being so shy all of a sudden . In the next few hours lots of people are going to see them in their cute diapers and plastic pants . Ty , did you bring a diaper bag ? " " Well , never mind , I 've already washed the diaper and plastic pants you lent Mark yesterday . I 'll just put them into his diaper bag . " Turning to Pam she added , " It 's always good to have spares handy when boys are in diapers . " " Absolutely , " Pam agreed , playing along with Mrs . Haddlin . " By the way , Mrs . Haddlin , I 've baby sat older babies before . If you ever need a baby sitter for Mark I 'd be happy to do it . " " Why , thank you , Pam . I may take you up on that . It 's very hard getting sitters for older children , especially when they 're still in diapers at a late age . " Mrs . Haddlin treated them like babies all the way to the bed and bath store . She kept talking to them as if they were two years old , pointing out various things and telling them how much fun they were going to have shopping . All of this was making Ty very nervous , causing him to become very sensitive to the pressure building up in his bladder . It took all of his courage to get out of the car . Mark didn 't look very confident either . People stared at them all the way into the store . Inside the store , Mrs . Haddlin made a big deal out of their errand . " They 're in aisle fourteen , " the high - school - aged clerk said . " I 'd be happy to show them to you . Please follow me . " " I 'm sorry but I really don 't know , " the clerk apologized . " Is that a diaper bag you 're carrying ? Are there any extra plastic pants in there that you could measure with ? " The whole conversation between Mrs . Haddlin and the clerk had been carried on as if the boys weren 't there . Also , it had been done loudly enough for people to easily overhear . By now , most of the people in the store had spotted the boys . A few kids ( about the same age as Ty and Mark ) were the worst . They giggled behind their hands and pointed them out to their parents or brothers and sisters . When Mrs . Haddlin opened the diaper bag and exposed their extra diapers and plastic pants the boys thought that they couldn 't possibly feel more mortified . But they were wrong . She pulled out a pair of plastic pants and unfolded them loudly . " Is that why you were hiding back there ? " his mom asked in a tone of voice normally used with a small child . " Now don 't you worry , I 'll change you as soon as we get back to the car . Don 't be upset when you make pee pee in your diapers . That 's what they 're for , aren 't they ? " She lowered his plastic pants about halfway down his diaper as she readjusted the top pins . The distinct odor of urine wafted about the store . No one doubted where it came from . Despite everything , Mark had to admit that the newly tightened diaper felt better and more secure . " Of course not , " Mrs . Haddlin said in a reasonable voice . " It 's just that you guys always want to go there . You can stay with me and pick out new sheets if that 's what you want . " It wasn 't what the guys wanted but it was better than going into the computer store alone . Being seen here with Mark 's mother was one thing . If one of their friends saw them they could always claim that she had maked them into this . Going into the computer store with their plastic pants exposed ( along with Mark 's wet diaper ) wouldn 't be so easy to explain . Lastly , Ty was worried that he couldn 't hold out wetting his diaper for much longer . Mrs . Haddlin seemed to be taking forever to decide what sheets to get . ( The boys were still a few years away from realizing how differently women shop compared to men . ) Ty hoped that he could hold out until they got back to the car . If she was going to change Mark maybe she would change him at the same time . Finally , they were heading for the check out and not one moment too soon in Ty 's opinion . As soon as they walked out of the store Ty began wetting his diapers . They wheeled their purchases to the car and loaded them into the trunk . Just as she was ready to unlock the car , a look of consternation crossed Mrs . Haddlin 's face . Before they could answer she grabbed each of them by the hand and started marching them towards the computer store . The boys became quite agitated . How many of their friends might be in the store ? How would they react ? Would they ever talk to them again ? They imagined all kinds of horrors . They entered the store . There seemed to be no one else there except the clerk behind the counter . His eyes grew round as he focused on the boys plastic pants and … ( yes ! ) wet diapers . " No , I don 't . But I 'm sure my son does . Mark , why don 't you go with the clerk to show him the cartridge we need ? Ty , why don 't you help him out ? I 'll wait here by the cash register . " The boys weren 't fooled by her questions . They were orders . They reluctantly followed the clerk to the far corner of the store . The squishing sound of their wet diapers followed them across the room . So did the faint odor of pee that was now emanating from their diapers . The clerk pulled one off the hanging rack . They were in and out of the store in less than four minutes . The boys breathed a sigh of relief as they got back to the car . " Sorry , guys . This is standard procedure for mothers . You guys wanted to wear diapers - now you have to live by the decisions that mothers make about where to change them . Who wants to be first ? " Ty nervously looked around as she unsnapped his plastic pants and unpinned his diaper . He dove into the back seat before anyone could see him . Mrs . Haddlin did a quick job of cleaning him and getting him pinned him into the first diaper . He was about to stand up when she stopped him " I know that your mother wanted you to wear the new pants she got you yesterday . Since you don 't seem to want to wear them , there 's no reason to lightly diaper you . You chose to have people see your diapers , so let 's give them something to look at , " Mrs . Haddlin explained . Ty got out of the back seat and nervously stood by the car as Mark had his diaper removed . There was a slight breeze and Ty could feel the wind passing through the diapers . He had never been outside without plastic pants so he felt practically naked . Time seemed to be crawling . What was taking so long ? ( Mark was getting put into double diapers , too . ) Several times Ty heard people walking somewhere in the parking lot , but no one had approached where they were parked - until now , that is . Ty was in a near panic as he heard familiar voices approaching . Ty 's stomach clenched . Howie Masterfield and another classmate , Ron Draght had spotted him . There was no where to escape . The car he was standing next to would only hide his diapers temporarily . Mark also became agitated as he realized what was happening . Only Mrs . Haddlin maintained a slight smile on her lips . She bent back into the back seat to finished pinning Mark into his second diaper . Mark and Ty were so scared that neither of them could move . Howie and Ron stood open - mouthed when they saw Ty 's diapers . Mrs . Haddlin was going to play the scene for all she could . Mrs . Haddlin was the only one who acted as if nothing unusual was going on . She handed each boy a pair of plastic pants . ( Ty noticed that they were bigger and thicker than any he owned . ) " Come on , don 't dawdle . We 've still got more shopping to do . Get your plastic pants on so that I can check that your diapers are completely covered . " " Very good , boys , " she said . " Maybe I won 't have to check your plastic pants every time you change . You did a good job of covering your diapers . " " No , ma ' am , but thank you . " Ron answered . " My mom is expecting me home soon . Thanks for the offer , though . So long , guys . " " Who said we 're going to the mall to buy you pants ? That was the original plan , but why should I buy you pants if you guys are going to challenge each other to go out in just your diapers ? I 'll wait for school to start again before I spend money on pants for you . Now , get in the car . I need to make at least two stops inside the mall . " Mrs . Haddlin dropped Ty off at his house . He thought about retrieving his pants from Eddie but he knew that it was useless to try to hide the truth . Mrs . Haddlin was bound to tell his mother about the shopping trip and the double diapers into which she had put him . " I see I was right to have called Mrs . Haddlin after you left . Where did you leave your pants ? " his mother asked as he walked through the door . " I didn 't ' know ' anything , " she clarified . " I just suspected that you might ' lose ' your pants on the way over to the Haddlins , especially since I knew that Mark wasn 't going to be wearing any . You still haven 't answered my question . Where are your pants ? " " At Eddie 's . " Ty answered sullenly . He hated it when his mother could figure him out so easily . " I 'll go get them . " " Don 't bother . Eddie is coming over soon . Remember , Aunt June and Uncle Henry are coming back today . You and Eddie have to go over there and apologize for having used Bryin 's diapers and plastic pants without their permission . Phone and ask Eddie 's to bring them when he comes over . " Bryin and his family pulled into their driveway . They had had a great time on vacation but they were all happy to be home , especially Bryin . Whenever they went away for more than one overnight , he had to wear disposable diapers . These were OK with him but his ' real ' diapers were better . He couldn 't wait to get back into them . But first , they would have to unpack the car . ( His parents had figured out a long time ago that the best incentive to get Bryin to help with the unloading was to change him into his cloth diapers only after the job was finished . ) Bryin plopped his bag down in his bedroom . Glancing into the bathroom he saw a bunch of his plastic pants drying on the rack . He cursed Ty and Eddie for having been so careless . What if his mother or anyone else had seen them first ? He quickly took them down , noticing that the waist and leg bands were still slightly damp . " Hi ! We 're back … Yes , just a few minutes ago … It was a wonderful trip . The children had a great time and Henry and I got to relax , too … Oh ? … Well , sure , you can come over … With Ty and Eddie ? … Of course … See you in fifteen minutes . " " Aunt Melinda , Ty , Eddie and Eddie 's mom . Aunt Melinda says that Ty and Eddie have some apologizing to do . Did you see anything wrong in your room ? I didn 't notice anything wrong around the house . I wonder what 's going on . Oh well , they 'll be here soon . I 'm sure it 's nothing big . " Bryin was coming down the stairs when his aunt ordered Ty and Eddie to explain themselves . Without even seeing them , he knew that the subject was diapers . Nonetheless , even he was surprised to see that his cousin and his friend were dressed in just their diapers - and double diapers at that ! He was jealous and felt out of place wearing pants over his diaper and plastic pants . Ty hesitantly launched into his confession of having worn Bryin 's diapers secretly over the years . His nervousness caused the story to come out all jumbled at first . Eventually , Bryin 's parents understood that Bryin had been supplying his cousin and Eddie with diapers and plastic pants . Bryin 's parents were obviously not pleased to hear this . An uncomfortable silence fell over the group . By mutual agreement Ty and Eddie had earlier decided to say nothing about Mark . ( Of course , Ty would make no reference to his dad , either . ) They wanted to save that ' surprise ' for as long as possible . " Yeah , but you 've worn yours forever . Some people might think that you have a medical reason , " Bryin pointed out . " Besides , you normally wear pants over your diapers . Me and Eddie are being maked to show off our diapers until our moms say it 's OK to wear pants again . That could mean no pants until the end of the summer . " " I don 't know , " Ty speculated . " Your parents seemed kind of mad about you letting us wear your diapers . Maybe they 'll punish you by taking your diapers away . You 've always said that they were never happy about you wearing them . " " What ! " Bryin said , clearly shaken . " They 've always let me wear diapers . They wouldn 't do that , would they ? " He didn 't wait for an answer but moved right along . " How come your diapers are so thick ? " " Oh , this is something new from today . Our moms are kind of frustrated that we aren 't embarrassed enough about our diapers so they 're making our diapers as obvious as possible . They 're making us to wear double diapers and really big plastic pants , " he said stating the obvious . " Sit down , boys , " Ty 's aunt said . " None of us is going to pretend that we understand what you get out of wearing diapers and we seriously doubt that you could explain it to us . We 've never opposed Bryin 's wishes to wear diapers but we thought that we had taught Bryin to be truthful and honest . Obviously , that wasn 't the case . " " No , it wasn 't , " Bryin 's dad said , speaking directly to him . " Your mother and I are very disappointed that you hid something like this from us for years . Why did you ? Can you tell us ? " " Well , we are kind of mad , " his dad continued , " but not because you shared your diapers with Ty and Eddie . If you had told us about it , we could have discussed some way to handle it . We 're mad because you hid things from us over and over again for a long period of time . " " I hope so , " his dad answered , " but that 's not enough . You will be punished . First of all , no computer privileges for the next week and you are grounded this weekend and the next , except for soccer . There 's no reason for your team to be let down . ( Bryin was their top defensive player . ) Lastly , we 're going to test your attachment to your diapers . " " Oh , no , " thought Bryin , " Ty was right . They 're going to take my diapers away . " For the first time in a long time he felt like crying . " That 's right , " his mother said , " I have always resisted your wishes to go around in just your diapers . Well , we 're changing that right now . From now on , you will not get any pants to wear and you will wear double diapers at all times . Let 's see how you feel about going everywhere in just your diapers . " Bryin was so stunned he didn 't know how to answer . If he looked enthusiastic , would his parents change their mind ? He decided to act casual . " Right now , " his mother answered . " Aunt Melinda brought you some special plastic pants like Tyler and Eddie are wearing . Let 's get you double diapered . " In fact , his parents knew that Bryin would not take this treatment as a punishment . They reasoned that it would save a lot of trouble in the long run if they gave him permission to do the things he was going to do anyway . Ten minutes later Bryin came back downstairs . Ty and Eddie had moved into the den . Bryin could hardly contain his pleasure . Bryin completely lost it when he saw Mark in his diapers . He whooped and hollered and danced around like a little boy in a toy store . This was turning into the happiest and most surprising day of his life . He wanted to know everything about how this happened . He laughed uproariously when they told him how Mark 's pants had been given away . He sympathized with Mark about his ' debut ' in diapers at the white elephant sale but he assured him that Greg would not be a problem . That night , Bryin couldn 't fall asleep . His brain was still on overload . He could hardly believe that he now had three friends who were permanently and publicly in diapers like him . He couldn 't wait to have ' public ' exposures like they had been having . He sensed that they were still worried about the overall effect that this would have with their other friends . He would have to work extra hard to show them that there was nothing to worry about . He had gotten away with it so far , why couldn 't they ? A second reason that Bryin couldn 't sleep was that something was troubling him . He was feeling guilty about having hidden his diaper activities with Bryin and Eddie from his parents . And , they weren 't the only ones with whom he played diaper games . Howie Masterfield and Ron Draght also liked to wear and wet his diapers . ( In fact , they regularly took diapers home to wear secretly at night . ) Should he try to convince them to ' go public ' ? Or should he talk to his parents first ? Would they insist on informing their parents if he did ? Would Howie and Rod hate him for telling his parents ? The questions rolled around in his head keeping him awake . Ty also found himself restless . He could hear that the TV was still on . His dad was listening to the late news . He got up and went downstairs . Ty 's dad had already gotten ready for bed . He was dressed in night diapers , a colored t - shirt and white socks . " I 'm not like you and Bryin . I don 't want everybody to know , but if people happen to find out I 'll have to deal with it . I can tell you this , though . I haven 't felt this relaxed and comfortable in years . I guess I have you to thank for that , " his dad said sincerely . " Yeah , yeah , " his dad drawled . " And , who knows ? Maybe they 'll win a World Series by the time your grandchildren get to college . " Adult Diaper Stories thanks you for your visit . We hope you found a Diaper Story you like . Try using our Google Search Box which will scan 1000 's of Diaper Stories and Abdl Stories in seconds for you . All you need to do is type something in the search box that interests you . 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The House of Balestrom stood intimidating above the tree lines . Its beautiful red roof and Victorian arches reached up to the sky like hands . The day was clear and bright as the lake that separated land and island quietly moved around the ferry that crossed it . Sara leaned on the banister as she watched the island get slowly closer . She sighed because the ride was almost over and she wanted to continue to take in the sight of the house . David nudged her with his shoulder and pointed in the direction of the island as more of the house came into view . Both of them were excited to be there , though the circumstance of their journey to the House of Balestrom was a sad one . When Susan called Sara telling her of the news that her husband had died and that she wanted Sara and David to come over to be with her during her time of grief , Sara agreed to it fast . Sara was not sure where they were going so both of them looked up Balestrom House on the internet , discovering many strange things about the house and the Balestrom family . They never thought that one family was documented so well - especially a family neither of them had ever heard of before now . They read up on the family and realized that they were out of place . Sara and David were not bankers or businessmen like the Balestroms . They were merely like every other American - an average person with a day job . David was a teacher like Sara . They both met at a teacher 's conference in North Carolina . Both of them began to talk the first day at the conference and fell in love . When the conference ended , Sara did not want to leave David 's side . He felt the same way and so they both decided to give it a shot . They rented a place in North Carolina , while finding new jobs there or other places until they decided where they would fit in . They settled on Minnesota . Minnesota became their place , where they could recreate themselves and be together . David proposed to Sara when they bought their first house together . He held a small dinner with friends they had met from the school system they worked for . David had got on one knee during the toast and proposed . Sara cried and screamed with happiness . She could not stop saying yes to him , as they hugged and kissed . Their friends were excited for them as well . Sara immediately called Susan up to tell her the great news about her engagement . " Oh , Susan , the ring is so beautiful , " Sara exclaimed over the phone to her sister . She kept staring at it while she told Susan about what David did and how he proposed and how she could not stop saying yes . She laughed thinking about it over and over again . " We are going to have a spring wedding and I want you to be here , " she said into the receiver . " Dear I 'm in Turkey , " she said . " I met this nice man from London , when I was visiting Belize . He is an amazing man and he told me about some property he owned in Turkey and that I should come and see it , so here I am darling . " Susan was always meeting interesting men who did things for her . They would take her off to places and spend a great deal of money on her . She was lucky in that way . She travelled more than Sara ever had the chance to do . Sara had only been to London once and that was when she took an internship over there for college . But she was so happy to know that Susan was not wasting her life away with just anyone . Susan 's life was so unpredictable and carefree . Sara wished she could live like that , but she was too afraid of the world . She needed structure and something physical . She could not live out of Hotel rooms and yachts with people she had never met . It seemed to Sara that Susan did not even have a place of her own . She could remember a few years ago , Susan mentioning that she needed to go by her apartment and pick up something for her trip to L . A . , but that was the only time . Sara could imagine Susan 's house being beautifully decorated and untouched . Susan would laugh at her house , because it was so lived in . " You have to be here , " Sara exclaimed . " I need my sister by my side . Besides Mom and Dad haven 't seen you in a long time and they keep asking about you . " " What 's the condition ? " " Well two conditions . One , I am not a bridesmaid and two , you don 't throw me the bouquet , " she said , laughing . " A Best Maid , " she said . " It 's like a Best Man , but you 're the female version . " Sara laughed . " Wow , Sara , that doesn 't sound traditional at all , " Susan said sounding surprised . " Well maybe you 're being a bad influence on me , " she said . They both laughed at each other over the phone . Susan did come to Sara 's wedding . She came in enough time to add her opinion to the construction of the wedding , despite how David 's parents objected . The wedding was successful and Susan gave Sara several wedding gifts . One gift was a check for fifty - thousand dollars and the other was two plane tickets to Paris , which included a package deal for newlyweds . When Sara and David saw the check , they both were amazed . Sara had no idea that Susan had such money . Several guests and family members asked Susan what she did for a living , but she would casually avoid the question by changing the subject or she would just laugh and say , " who needs to work " . The man Susan brought with her to the wedding was what their mother would call a " catch " . He was six - five with dark brown hair . He wore a beautiful suit that was blue . He wore it like a model . He even had the face of a model . He walked up to Sara and David kissing her hand and shaking David 's . He wished them both a bright and happy future as he smiled at them with pearl white teeth . He was so clean and chiseled . The next day Sara finally got to see - in her opinion - why Susan brought Mr . Chiseled - Mr . Chiseled being what everyone was calling him . Some would have thought that Susan was with him because of his beautiful features and strong body , which he proudly showed off when everyone went to the beach to lay out and swim . Both men and women looked at him in amazement and even - lust , which made Sara giggle like a little school girl . " Can you believe what we are seeing , " David said , looking Mr . Chiseled up and down . " There isn 't any fat on that man 's body . It 's all lean muscle , " he said , gawking . " I can 't help it . " " If you don 't stop he will think that you like him , " she teased . David laughed and looked away bashfully . Every now and then Sara would catch David looking at his own body . He would flex an arm here or there to see where his muscles were . Sara would laugh and then touch David 's leg . " All your muscles are right here , " she said , taking her finger and poking David in the head . " Great , " he said . Now he was determined to start working out . Sara knew why Susan brought Mr . Chiseled and it was not for attention - well attention for her , but more of a distraction from her . She wanted to avoid people 's stares and questions . Mr . Chiseled was with Susan for fun . It was the kind of fun that you could only have from someone that was not your husband , but more of a lover . Why Susan wanted to avoid people was a mystery to Sara , but it was how Susan had always been - private . A few more years had gone by and Susan called Sara to tell her that she had married . It came as a shock because Susan had never talked about a man being in her life . At first , Sara thought it was Mr . Chiseled whom Susan had married , but it turned out to be a Mr . Victor Balestrom . Sara had never heard of him and yet never met him . She was a little upset that she was not invited to the wedding - and yet no one was invited to the wedding . " I 'm so sorry dear , it was one of those things that just happened , " she said . " I understand , it 's your life , but oh , Susan , I just wanted to be there for you like you were for me on my wedding day . " " I 'm sorry , darling , " she said . " I can 't help it . I just had to snatch this one up before he got away . He is not like my other two husbands . He is so much better than them . " " Sara , dear , everything is good , " Susan said . " I was married twice before , but they both passed away a few years after we married . How do you think I had all that money ? " " I don 't know , Susan , but now I 'm worried about you . " " Oh , my dear Sara , please don 't worry about me . Be happy for me , " she said . " He 's a keeper and I will make everything up to you . " Susan kept her promise . Every year when a holiday would come up , she started sending Sara and David cards . The cards had photos of Susan and Victor on them and inside the cards would be a brief note and a check . The check would vary each year . It was never below a thousand dollars though . This made Sara and David feel bad because they could not give back to Susan and Victor . They almost wanted to send the money back at times , but then something would happen to where they would need the money . It helped when they got it , but not without feeling guilty when they cashed it . So they both decided to start saving the money when they got it , so they could meet up with Susan and Victor one day . But that day changed for all of them , when Sara received a phone call from Susan late one night . " Hello , " Sara said into the phone half - asleep . " I don 't know … he just died . " Susan cried and Sara could barely understand her . " I need you , " she said . " I need you to be here with me , Sara , please come and be at my side . I can 't bury him without you being here . " " Of course , I will be there . Both David and I will be there for you . We will leave immediately , " Sara said . They said they loved each other and Sara hung up the phone . " What happened ? " " Yes , we should do that . I will clear my schedule and call the school and let them know that we have to leave , " David said , kissing Sara on the cheek and then crawled out of the bed so he could start making the arrangements . They booked a flight to Maine , then taking a cab to the ferry where they stood now . Sara and David could see the house from the distance as the ferry moved slowly closer to the island . It was weird for them having to ride a ferry across a lake to get to someone 's home . It was not like crossing the street or driving down the road , this was much more than that . It was a process - a moment to sit back and relax before you arrived where you were going . This was the privileged life and Sara could feel it deep inside herself . The feelings were foreign to her and yet exciting . She could not wait to see Susan and hold her in her arms . She never wanted to let her sister go . The ferry pulled closer to the island and Sara could see where they were going to dock the ferry so they could get off on the island the house stood on . An entire island owned by the Balestrom family since the eighteen hundreds . Sara remembered reading about it on the internet . An island all for the family - private - secluded from the mainlanders . The money the Balestrom family must have to maintain the island and the house itself . The internet could not tell David and her how big the house was , it merely said that The Balestrom House had several wings to it … that the main wing or main house was where the family stayed . They rarely explored the other part of the house and on occasion , the family would allow people to come and tour the grounds and the older parts of the house for historical reasons . " This is amazing , " David said , smiling . The house was barely in view , but he could see several paths that possibly led to it . His heart thumped hard in his chest as the ferry docked . It opened its gate and a few cars pulled out while others walked off the ferry and onto the port landing . Sara smiled at David 's enthusiasm . She was just as excited as he was , if not more . Her sister had moved far up into the world . Sara knew Susan was rich but after marrying Victor , she was never going to have to work again - if she ever worked in the first place . They walked off the docking station until they came to land . " Wait where is the ferry going ? " " How will we leave if we need to , " Sara asked . David and Sara walked quickly back toward the ferry , but it was already pulling off . A man laughed at them from their right . Sara turned to him . " What 's so funny ? We may need to leave . " " You have nothing the worry about , " he said . The man was wearing all white - white golf shirt , shoes and slacks . He had sandy blonde hair , dark blue eyes and his skin was pale . He looked like a ghost and yet attractive and down to earth . " The ferry returns on a schedule . But if there were an emergency then the house would ring the ferry , who would come out to pick up anyone here . There are also emergency boats all around the island as well as the Balestrom 's own personal boat at the boat house , " the man informed them . David and Sara sighed with relief . They thought that the Balestrom 's owned the ferry , but they were obviously wrong and felt embarrassed for thinking it . " I 'm Ralph Turner … " he extended his hand . David took it first shaking it and then Sara . " I 'm here to escort you to the house . " " Escort , " Sara said and then looked behind Ralph to see a golf buggy . Ralph smiled and reached for their bags , taking them from their hands . " I am so sorry ; we are not use to this . " " It 's okay ma ' am , " Ralph said . He placed their stuff onto the back of the golf buggy and then motioned for them to get in . They did , as Ralph started the buggy up and pulled off heading down one of the paths to the house . " This kind of life takes some getting used to . I remember my first time here . I was so scared at first , but I found my way around and now I 'm good . " " Oh , no , " he said . " None of us live on the island , except for the servants that maintain the inside of the house . I come here from the mainland . The job pays decent and it helps put food and clothes on my family 's back . " " Tell us about this place , " David said . " It 's almost like we traveled to another world coming here . " David laughed feeling slightly intimidated over the island . " I would love to tell you about the island - or what we call Balestrom Island , " he chuckled . " Old Cyrus Balestrom bought the island in the eighteen hundreds . There was barely any life on the island when he bought it . He built a small shack where he moved his wife and six kids in . Cyrus Balestrom had big plans for his family and for the island . He was going to make it an attraction to where the entire world would know who they were … it was like their own little kingdom . " Ralph paused for a moment and Sara saw him glance at them through the rearview mirror . " Cyrus was a visionary , much like all the Balestroms . They have money in everything , " he added . Sara detected something in Ralph 's tone of voice when he spoke to them about the Balestrom family . He could not tell if he was resentful of them or envious , either way the feeling made her cautious . She could see how many people would feel that way about a large wealthy family like the Balestroms . She herself could feel where her place would be if she came to work for them too . Even visiting made her feel small and unimportant . She now wondered if any of this kind of life has influenced Susan . Would Susan treat Sara and David like a - servant ? No … no … Susan wouldn 't do that to them . She loved them too much , why else would she want them to come to her and be with her at this horrible time . " So Cyrus started to build the house , " David asked . " No , he never had a chance , " Ralph said . " Cyrus died before he could even lay the foundation . The only thing that was built on the island by Cyrus was the shack , which is the horse stable now . " " Yes , " Ralph said . " Cyrus Balestrom the second was murdered one night at a New Years Eve party they were holding in the main house . " Ralph began to tell them about that night in 1959 before the clock struck twelve . As he spoke his words formed images in Sara 's mind . She saw the lavish dresses and well - groomed men dancing and laughing . The house itself was decorated with reefs still hanging from Christmas . Sara 's heart raced as she felt the pulse of the music being played by a small band Cyrus commissioned to play at his party . People wore masks and hats with the year 1960 written on them . It was a beautiful night . Ralph continued to tell the story coming to the part where a young woman approached Cyrus . She wore a beautiful black gown with dark red and gold colored wings on her back . In her hand she held a masquerade mask which she let fall to the floor as she walked up to Cyrus , who was talking to his daughter Elisa . " Cyrus , " she called to him for his back was to her . His posture stiffened . He was not expecting her to be there . Elisa looked at her father 's expression and slowly looked around him at the woman who called his name . Elisa did not recognize her . The woman looked like someone who stepped out of a fairy tale with her red and gold wings and black gown . Her costume was beautiful and lavish . It was one of the better costumes at the entire party . Cyrus touched Elisa 's shoulder , pulling her from looking at the woman any longer . He turned around hiding Elisa behind him . " Are you really asking me that ? " She walked closer to him . Her hand went to her chest as she breathed hard . " I came to see you since you can 't come and see me , " she said . " Now Tara , " he said holding up his hands to her as if he was trying to calm her down . But it was more like he was trying not to let her cause a scene . " Why don 't you go home and I will call you later . " " Call me , " she laughed . " Call me later . I don 't want you to call me later Cyrus . " Tara reached out with her hand taking a hold of Cyrus 's shirt cuff . He pulled away from her quickly ripping his cuff from her grip . The sound of fabric tearing caused people at the party to listen in and stare . " What 's going on here , " she asked looking Tara over . She wrapped her arms through Cyrus 's only to take his hand . It was her way of saying Cyrus was hers and no one else 's . Morgan knew of Tara . She knew what Tara was to Cyrus and she knew what Tara was carrying inside her . Cyrus turned his head to Morgan all the while looking down at the floor . Cyrus had no idea that Morgan knew Tara was pregnant , because if he did he would have been extremely angry with them both . Morgan was going to take care of Tara and the baby , but Tara just could not let Cyrus go . " Come with me Cyrus , " she shook when she said this . Her eyes meeting Morgan 's , which made Tara cry . The man she loved was standing in front of her and she wanted him to leave with her . Her heart raced as she reached out to Cyrus again . " Please , Cyrus , come with me . Let 's get away from this place . From this house … " she screamed . The music had stopped and everyone was watching . Tara shook and cried and held her chest with one hand while she reached for Cyrus with the other . Cyrus looked at Tara and for a moment , he looked as if he would go with her , but instead Cyrus lowered his head shaking it from side to side . He pitied Tara for how she was acting . He turned to Morgan who still held onto his arm . They both turned to walk away , which was an instruction for the crowd to snub Tara . The friends of any Balestrom know that they are taken care of as long as they are in good graces with the family . But once a Balestrom turns his back on you , you became - nothing . It was as if you did not exist any longer . " Cyrus ! " Tara screamed his name loud and harsh . Her voice quivered with anger and sadness . Cyrus did not turn around he kept walking . The crowd screamed as Tara pulled a gun from a pocket in her gown . She pulled the trigger without hesitating shooting Cyrus in the back of the head killing him . Sara gasped in horror at what Ralph had told them . She could not believe the tragedy and the scandal . She could not imagine being next to her husband as he is shot . She wrapped her arms through David 's and held him tight . He smirked and kissed her forehead . " The Balestroms are known for tragedy , " Ralph said . " Oh , David , " Sara said . She could not believe he even asked that question , but deep down she wanted to know too . Was Victor killed like Cyrus ? " Poor Susan , " Sara thought . The thought of Susan having to deal with Victor dying or even being murdered made her feel uneasy . Maybe she should rescue Susan from this nightmare and bring her back to Minnesota with them . It seemed like a logical answer and she would bring it up to Susan when she sees her . The buggy pulled down another path . They passed through trees on both sides of them . They could feel themselves journey deeper into the island . They finally arrived to cleared land where they took one more path up to a gate . The front yard of Balestrom House spread for miles , hitting trees on all sides of them . Trees lined the single path leading up to the gate of the house . Ralph pulled the buggy up to the black Iron Gate and stopped . There was a tall red and white stonewall extending out as far as the eye could see . On the black Iron Gate the letter " B " , fashion in an Old English style text . Ralph pressed a button on the roof of the buggy . The gate hummed to life , clicked and then opened for them to enter . It was as if they were accepted into The House of Lords other than that they would not be able to pass . Ralph drove the buggy through the gate as it closed behind them . In front of them was a huge white gazebo , with tall hedges not far from that . Sara glanced at an opening in the hedges and saw what looked like a beautiful flower garden . " I see you noticed the flower garden , " Ralph said . " That wasn 't here until your sister joined the family . She wanted beauty and she created it . She has single handedly made Balestrom House look amazing . It is known for its lavish flower gardens now , which attracts tourists and magazines from all over the world . They all want to photograph the gardens . " " I know sir , " Ralph said . " It 's a touchy subject . No one really knows how Mr . Balestrom died . All I know is that one day Victor Balestrom was running around the island getting his daily run in and the next he was dead . It happened so sudden . There are the rumors though … " " Yes , that she killed him , " he said . Ralph watched Sara through the rearview mirror . Sara 's forehead wrinkled with worry . " No , " she said . " That can 't be true . Susan could never harm another person . She helps so many people out . " " Sorry . I 'm not trying to do that . I just wanted you to know what you were getting into before you settled in , " Ralph said . " I promise you that your sister had nothing to do with Victor Balestrom 's death . " Sara started to cry . She buried her face into David 's arm . She squeezed him tight wishing that nothing like that would ever happen to David . The thought of not having him by her side made her emotional . She loved David and would do whatever she could to keep him with her - forever . He was her rock - her angel - even her soul mate . Life would not be the same without him . She could now imagine what Susan must be going through . How Susan loved Victor . Sara knew Susan loved Victor by the way she would write about him in the letters she wrote to her . How tragic it was to lose such a man . How lonely it would feel not to have him lying next to her in bed at night . The emptiness Susan must feel . Victor 's pillow still having the impression in it where he would lay his head . The clothes he would never wear again still hanging in the closet . The toiletries still placed where he left them last , even strands of hair tangled in the hairbrush he used . " Oh , please let 's not talk about this anymore , " Sara begged . Her face turned red from crying . " Oh , this is horrible . " David held her tight , rubbing her arm to calm her down . He knew how Sara was and he knew she was sensitive to losing someone . It took Sara a long time to get over her grandfather dying four years ago . Every now and then , she would bring him up and start crying all over again . David would comfort her and show her everything would be okay . That her grandfather was watching over her , blowing her kisses from Heaven . This worked from time to time and he would hold her on the days it did not until she fell asleep in his arms . He loved Sara a lot and never wanted anything to happen to her either . The things Ralph told them about the house and Cyrus and Victor disturbed him . The idea of losing Sara made his heart ache . He did not want to lose her and did not know what he would do if he ever did . He pushed the thoughts out of his mind . They were not there for any of this . They were there for Susan . Susan needed them and she was going to need them to be strong for her . " Now now honey , " David leaned down whispering in Sara 's ear . " We need to be strong for Susan . She can 't see us break down and cry . We want to help her get past all this and see what we can do to make things a little more comfortable for her . " He kissed her head as he rubbed her arms . Sara knew David was right and she sniffed back more tears and wiped her eyes with her fingers . " I 'm really sorry , " Ralph said , again . He was feeling bad for talking about how Victor died . He really did not know the man . He bumped into Victor a few times at the house . He even carried Victor around the island in the very golf buggy they were riding in . Victor was a quiet intimidating man . Ralph felt like he could be even cruel at times , but he never wanted to cross Victor to find out . He pulled the buggy into a stone laid driveway that went into a circle around a tall black iron water fountain . The figures made of iron were of men and women reaching up to the Heavens to a man barely clothed - who stood higher than the rest of the figures . The iron man held in his hand an orb , which he held up to the sky for God to take . The black iron was more so green now from algae . Water trickled down the figures and into the pool that surrounded them . The faces of the figures were mourning and wanting . There were even a few faces that held angry expressions , but all of their eyes were focused on the main figure holding the orb - or maybe they were focused on the orb itself . An object of attraction - a desired destination or want or need . Whichever it was or whatever it was supposed to signify escaped Sara and David , over all it was beautiful and domineering … much like the house itself , which only stood a few feet from them . They looked up at the sky to its third story . The yellow - white stone made the house a fortress . Nothing was getting into the house without it being invited in . They stepped out of the buggy and walked up to the front double doors . " Hey what 's this say , " David asked looking at a plaque , which was built in " To remind us of where we came from and what we could lose , " Susan said , sounding sarcastic . " I know that phrase from somewhere else , " Sara said . Susan shrugged and David smiled . " Does it matter right now , " Susan said . She bent at the knees and held her arms out to them both . They hugged her hard . Susan threw her cigarette to the ground twisting her toe on it to put it out . " I missed you two a great deal . I am so glad you could come here and be with me . I need you . " Susan smiled and hugged Sara again tightly . " I missed you too Susan , " Sara said . Susan smelt sweet and Sara felt out of place with the clothes she was wearing . She felt frumpy compared to Susan , who held a class about her - a sense of elegance and grace yet all protected by a stonewall - like the Balestrom House - protected or guarded . " You 're so tall . I don 't remember you being this tall . " " Oh darling , it 's the heels , " she said , lifting one foot off the ground . " They are Italian , darling . You must try them on later . You will notice a lot more with some height added to your demeanor . " Susan kissed her sister 's cheek . " Now let us go inside . I 'm sure you two are famished from your long trip , " Susan suggested . She turned to Ralph who was standing with Sara and David 's bags - quiet . " Ralph be a dear and carry my sister and her husband 's bags to the room I saved for them . " " Yes ma ' am , " he said . Susan walked to the door and it opened for her . On the other side was a short , bald , middleweight man . He wore a black and white tuxedo like uniform - he was obviously the butler of the house . " Ma ' am , " he said , nodding to Susan , who barely smiled at him . Susan walked past him and when Sara and David approached the entrance , he greeted them too . " Ma ' am , sir … " " Hi , " Sara and David said . They were nervous as they walked into the foyer of the house . The floor was made of wood , but buffed to shine , with beautiful brown and gold designs moving their way to the center of the foyer where a single table - it was more of a pedestal made of marble . It was something that would have been roped off if it were in a museum . The height of the table was as tall as David , who was only 5 ' 10 . On the table was a huge globe made of black iron . A spike came through the globe , which pointed straight up to the ceiling . Sara looked up and noticed that there was no roof above their heads , but a glass ceiling . The foyer of the house was like its own section . It was where the Balestroms would greet their guests before being led into the other rooms . The foyer was in the form of a huge cylinder with six columns coming out of the walls reaching up to the glass ceiling . The wall itself was designed with gold leaves on a vine , which moved across the wall to the sky . The room was full of brown and gold , which brought on the feelings of classic royalty . There were two huge double doors to the left and right of them as well as another set of double doors on the other side of the globe . " Wow , " David said . " We could fit four of our houses in this room alone . " He chuckled . " I see that , " Sara said . Susan pulled her sunglasses off and laid them on a table off to the side of the room . She thumbed through mail that sat on the table as well . Taking what she saw was important and discarding the rest into a trash can next to the table . Her heels clicked their way to the doors on the other side of the globe . " Come on kiddies , let 's go to the terrace and have a little lunch before all the games begin , " Susan said , motioning for them to follow her . Sara and David followed Susan through the doors into the main part of the house . There were a set of stairs in front of them that split up into two directions . The carpet under their feet was burgundy and the wood on the walls and staircase were all fine dark wood . They followed Susan up the stairs past the many paintings of the family members of the Balestrom clan . They went to the second level of the house and walked down the walk way and into a hallway that over looked the foyer . It was something that Sara and David had not notice when they were in the foyer earlier . Susan moved through another door and into a little studio area where there were a few chairs and a couch . The wall was a layer of windows which over looked part of the back yard . Susan opened a door to the outside and walked out onto the terrace . They both followed , taking a seat at a table she had set up for them to eat lunch . Susan took a deep breath and sighed it out hard . It was as if she was relieved that something was over and done with . She leaned against the terrace banister looking out over the yard . " Is everything okay , " Sara asked . " Yes dear , " she said , as Sara walked over to her sister to touch her arm . Sara was worried about Susan still . She seemed bothered about something other than Victor 's death . " I 'm just glad to have you here . Also this is the only part of the house I feel like I can be myself . " Sara looked out onto the grounds and saw more of the house stretching out before her . Down below them were some of the flower garden Susan created for the house . The flowers that people come from all over to photograph . Sara knew why this was her favorite spot of the house . She took it in herself , absorbing every little detail and impression . Sara did not want to forget this day or this house . It was a lot to take in , but she scanned over everything anyways . Susan moved to take a seat at the table where the butler was setting plates down and glasses . Susan glanced at the butler who barely looked at her , but Susan refrained from talking any more until he was gone from the room . It was as if she did not want the servant to hear their conversation . Sara figured it was a way to cut down on idle gossip among the help . Sara couldn 't believe that she even thought like that … the butler being referred to as mere " help " made her feel alienated . She could not imagine being called the " help " , though under the circumstances if it were any other time period , she would more than likely be the help or maybe even a governess . The butler left the room for a moment only to return with a cart filled with food . He wheeled the cart up to the table and began to place food on all three plates , while another man came in to fill the glasses with water . They left the table as Susan waved them off . She smiled at Sara and David and watched as they took the first bites from their food before she proceeded to eat herself . She did the same with the drink . She only took a sip of her water after Sara and David took a sip from theirs . It was odd after Sara noticed it . " So you were telling us about the Balestroms ? " David cut into his chicken and then took a bite . The meat melted in his mouth . The food was not like the food Sara and him would make at the house in Minnesota , it was better . The flavors were amazing giving life to his taste buds . Susan blotted her mouth with a napkin and then glanced around the terrace . " You can be excused Gerard , " she said . " We have other guests you could be attending to . " Sara looked around and saw no one . She gave Susan an odd face and then out of nowhere Gerard 's voice quietly came from inside the house . " Yes Madame , I will tend to them , " he said . Gerard floated past the entranceway glancing at Sara as he did this and then vanished into the house . " Where was he hiding ? " " That man has been with the Balestroms for a long time . His family worked for them long before the island was ever purchased . " Susan adjusted herself in her seat . She took on a more relaxed pose , not the one she had while Gerard or Ralph were around . This was the Susan Sara remembered - relaxed - beautiful - watchful . The Balestroms changed her a little . She leaned into the table placing her elbows on them . " What I was saying before was that the Balestroms would never let you relax around here , " she said . " There is always something that needs to be done , " Susan said . " Charity events , parties to attend , meetings with family members , openings to businesses and galleries - it keeps going and going . " Susan looked exhausted just talking about it . " After I had been married to Victor for three years I had enough . I wanted to focus on the house . " She waved her hands out above her . " I worked on the grounds creating beautiful flower gardens and hedges . I even added a nice gazebo to the grounds that was barren when you first arrived to the house through the gate . " " This house … " Susan stood up and walked to the banister of the terrace . She looked out over the grounds and then turned to face them . " This house has a tendency of pulling you into it . Once you are a part of it , it will then suffocate you and take what life you have away . " Susan let her hand rest against her chest as she stared off at nothing like she was in a trance . Her mind searching for the days that began her journey to the house and into Victor 's arms . She took a deep breath and focused on the two lovebirds before her . " I married Victor because I loved him . He was an amazing man , very athletic and smart . He was his mother 's favorite son , " she said . " Just there are demands that Ruth puts on her daughters and daughter - in - laws . It 's those demands that make it hard to live here . Not the other stuff . " " Children ? Why would that be a demand ? " Sara could not believe Susan thought having children was a chore . With all the money the Balestroms have , she was sure Susan would have help raising them . " Darling sister , you have no idea how horrible it would be to have a child in this family . " " Certainly all of those things and I wouldn 't even have to raise them myself , " Susan said . " But it wasn 't just a child Ruth wanted . She wanted me to have a particular child … a male child . " " Yes , without a male child the Balestrom name will end . Lucky for me there are plenty of males in the family . " Susan walked back over to the table and took a seat . " But Ruth wasn 't satisfied with that . She is even disappointed in me now since Victor is dead and I haven 't had a child … male or female … " " Sara , darling , you sound like Ruth Balestrom when you say that . She hated me for not having children . Have a boy … she would say … are you pregnant yet ? We need a boy from Victor , " Susan rolled her eyes and shook her head . Susan took a sip of water . " A lot of Balestroms died in this house or on the grounds near the house . Some people say that their spirits are still here haunting the island . There are rumors of fishing ships passing by the precipice of the island , on its north side , that they can see a woman in a white flowing gown waving to them . " " That 's spooky , " Sara said , holding herself with her arms . She felt a chill move over her body . " What makes it even spookier sister is that on that side of the island Byron Balestrom 's wife Emma threw herself off the precipice and into the rocks below . She killed herself to get away from this family , " Susan said . Sara gasped at what Susan said , her hands quickly moving to her mouth . She looked over to David who was surprised to hear what Susan had said also . " Yes , apparently Emma 's brother maneuvered her into Byron 's arms one drunken night they were all partying . Emma became pregnant and was made to marry Byron . But Emma 's brother had other plans with the family , he too wanted to marry in and he wooed Byron 's sister Mary which led to their marriage , " Susan said . " But that 's no reason to murder someone , " Sara said . " It is when you find out that Emma and her brother had an incestuous relationship … among other things , " Susan said . " So when the fishermen talk of seeing a woman waving to them in a white flowing gown , we know it is Emma Balestrom . But there are a lot of stories like that which float around here . The men in this family do not live long and die here at the house … sometimes tragically . How convenient my husband did too . " " That is very tragic , " Sara said . Her eyes watered from the story Susan had told them . Such a tragic family and her sister married into that family . How could she live with the knowledge that something horrible could possibly happen to her or her husband - and yet something horrible did happen to Susan 's husband . Victor has died leaving Susan alone in this huge house . Susan barely looked at Sara after she had said that . She smirked a little , possibly thinking of something - maybe a memory of a time when Victor was alive . A time when Victor and Susan were happy . Maybe it was her own wedding she was thinking about . There are a few things in a woman 's life that becomes important to her - her marriage day and the day she has her first child . Those memories last forever . Those are her special days . Sara wondered about Susan 's wedding because she was not there to see Susan on that special day . Sara had nothing to compare her wedding to with David . Was Susan 's wedding extravagant with beautiful people fawning over her ? It was definitely nothing like Sara and David 's wedding - Sara knew this had to be so . The Balestroms had too much money not to spend it on an elaborate wedding in a big Catholic church . Sara calmed down a little as she thought of how happy Susan had to of been on that beautiful day when she married Victor . The dress she must have worn . Sara was sure it was only of the finest material - probably a Vera Wang . Sara was envious and made a mental note to eventually ask Susan about it , she wanted to know all the details of that day . She wanted to be happy for Susan and make sure her day was just as beautiful as her own . " I know all this talk about death and dying has depressed you , " Susan apologized . " I love you Sara and I do want you to know everything is okay . I 'm just so glad you made it … I 've missed you so much , my darling sister . " Susan reached across the table taking Sara 's hand into hers . She squeezed it tight to reassure Sara that she was going to be okay . Sara instinctively got up moving around the table to Susan , who stood up from her seat as they embraced each other . David smiled at them both . He was so happy that they were together again . He knew how much Sara loved her sister and he loved Susan too . She was so different from Sara - well from anyone he had ever met before . The only thing that bothered him was that Susan was very secretive and apparently has been through a lot when she married into the Balestrom family . " I 've kept you from freshening up . We should finish up this small meal and then I will let you two rest up a bit before we have the wake . " " Yes , that would be nice , " Sara said with tears streaming down her cheeks . She embraced Susan again and then took her seat next to her where they finished up their meal . But Susan barely touched her food . She picked at it with her fork and watched Sara and David laugh as they told Susan about the small adventures of being teachers . Susan would laugh at them and then with them at times , but to her it did not seem real . Sara 's life was so different from her own . She could not imagine living like they did and for a brief moment wondered what it might have been like for her if she actually married a local man in Ohio or even in New York or Los Angeles . What would her life be like if she never married rich ? Susan pushed the thoughts away . It was something she did not really want to know . The idea of wondering if she was ever going to have enough money to pay a bill or plan for a trip overseas … she never had to worry about that . There was no planning for her - all she had to do was just pack up and go . All her bills were paid . All of which were handled by a financial manager she employed . She desperately wanted to pull Sara and David out of this strange life of worry and stress . She wanted to give them what she has - but even now , there was more to living this way than what she could handle herself . There were things expected of her and there was always someone watching and listening … They finished their meal and Susan guided them from the terrace through the living area . " This is a huge room , " Sara said looking around . David laughed with Susan as they both walked through the door leaving Sara the last one to exit the room . Sara paused for a moment to take the room in . She never really looked at it when they came in before stepping out onto the terrace . The room was very open and she could see the whole view of the grounds from where she was standing . It was breath taking . The sun was slowly going down turning the room an orange color . She took in a breath of fresh air from the open doors of the terrace and then exhaled it out . She was in a foreign place and was not sure what she could touch or where she should stand . The mannerism of this world was not so relaxed like she was use to . Sara felt like she had to tip toe through the rooms and hallway so she would not be discovered - or she may get into trouble if she was caught . She laughed at herself for thinking that way . But she could not help herself . It was the house that made her feel out of place . Sara turned to leave the room when she heard a creaking noise . She turned toward where the sound was coming from and saw a door that resembled the wood paneled wall , slowly creek closed . Someone was in the room with her and they had just left . How was that so ? She did not see anyone in there with her . Susan and David were just outside the room laughing at a joke David had told . She could hear their voices , but the person - invisible person - in the room with her made no sound at all , other than when they left . She would not have known of their presence if the door had not made a sound when it closed . Sara glanced out into the hall and saw Susan and David preoccupied with each other . She walked over to the wall and began to press on it looking for a way to open the door she just saw . It was strange , because the wall had no resemblance of a door ; it was as if she imagined it . There were no opening and no handle . She patted the wall with the pal " Darling , are you okay , " Susan asked . Sara turned to her sister blushing . " Ye … yes , " she said embarrassed . " I … I just thought I saw something . " " Come on silly girl let 's get you to your room so you can relax , " Susan said smiling at Sara . Sara took one last glance at the wall before walking over to Susan who waited patiently in the doorway . " I must be tired with the flight and taking in this beautiful house , " she said . She kissed Susan on the cheek and walked out into the hallway and into David 's arms . " Well we will wash up and rest , " David said . He kissed Sara on the forehead , who smiled lightly taking a quick glance at Susan who was staring at the wall Sara had been messing with . There was a moment 's pause and then Susan regained her composure , turning back to them . " Yes , let 's get you two to your room . " Susan walked them down the hall and up another flight of stairs . She walked them down the huge hallway , where Sara thought looked like hotel rooms . It made her chuckle inside . Some of the doors were open revealing large sitting areas and a few bedrooms . Susan walked up to a door opening it . She smiled at them pushing the door open for them to enter the room . " Wow , " David said , as they walked into their room . " This is as big as the apartment we lived in before we bought the house , honey . " Susan laughed . The room had a sitting area near a glass door which walked out onto a short balcony . The bed was a queen size , much bigger than their twin bed they had at home . " The bathroom is through here . Gerard unpacked all your stuff so feel free to look around so you can familiarize yourselves where everything is , " Susan said . " I will come back to get you when it is time for the service . Until then my lovelies rest up , wash up , whatever you like . If you need me before then just pick up the phone on the nightstand and Gerard will pick up . He will get you whatever you need and alert me if you need me to come . " " This is a lovely place , Susan , " Sara said . " You 've done well for yourself . " They hugged again and Susan left them alone closing the door to give them privacy . " Can you believe this place , " David said , sitting on the bed . He bounced up and down a few times feeling the comfort of the bed , which made no sound at all when he bounced . " Honey , you have to sit on the bed . It feels so comfortable . " He moved over to Sara who was looking around the room . He took her by the hand and guided her to the bed where they sat down on it together . David wrapped his arms around Sara 's shoulders pulling her backwards on to the bed . They bounced a little and then laughed . " I feel like I won the lottery . " " Should we pretend that we did win the lottery , " he suggested , leaning close to her . David brushed the back of his hand across Sara 's cheek as he looked into her eyes . He kissed her mouth as she relaxed into his embrace . He adored Sara with his whole being . She was his one true soul mate . The one thing he loved more than anything else on Earth . He could not imagine losing her to anyone else and was very happy the day he laid eyes on her . He moved a strand of hair from between her eyes , brushing it out of the way . He then kissed her forehead and smiled . " I love you . " They showered and dressed for the service . They relaxed in each other 's arms before dressing . They felt like there was no need to ever leave the room and thought about how lazy one could get if they were provided for by just picking up a phone . They would have to pick up a hobby and exercise a lot just to avoid boredom and getting fat . This was , again , all foreign to them . Certainly , they had their hobbies and they did already exercise , but it was not demanded of them . The idea of not having to do anything for yourself seemed ideal , but one had to think of new things just to keep from going insane . " Oh , stop , " she waved him off like he was talking nonsense . " You see , " he teased . " You are your sister . " David got up from the bed only to wrap his arms around Sara 's waist . He tickled her a little and then picked her up off the floor . They laughed . He propped her back down on the floor where she moved across the room still laughing . She looked into the mirror and started to apply a little makeup to her face . Nothing too heavy she did not want anything to rub off onto her dress when she put it on . " You know I was thinking about something . " " Yes I do , " David said , pulling out some socks . He threw the socks to the bed . He walked over to the closet of the room opening it so he could pull out his suit for the service . He already knew he was going to wear the suit twice . Once for the wake and the next for the funeral itself . He felt inadequate for a moment . He knew that everyone else would wear two different outfits for both occasions . He pushed the thoughts away . He was no different from the Balestroms . Yes , no different from them at all . He may not be as wealthy as they are , but he had a lot more than they would ever possess . He worked hard for everything he owned . He worked hard to keep and take care of Sara , who did the same for him . They were a single person , unlike the feeling he got as Susan talked about living with the Balestroms . They did not have a life . Their life was controlled - controlled all the way to being taken care of by others . They did not have to do anything for themselves . It was all done for them . If they ever lost their fortune , the Balestroms would be lost and eventually die off . David was glad he did not have the privileged life that they did . " What about it ? " " Well , I couldn 't help myself . The saying was so familiar to me , as if I had heard it before , " she said . She lightly rubbed a black pencil across under her eye . " You 're a fool , " she laughed . " Anyways the saying came from a Shakespeare play . " She stopped what she was doing and walked over to a table that sat next to a large window next to the door that led out to the balcony . " King Lear was the play . " David looked over to her as she started to explain about the play . " In King Lear , the king is dying and decides to divide his kingdom up between his three daughters based on their affections toward him , but one daughter refuses to accept her father 's gift . After Cordelia refused her father 's gift he said ' Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit ' and then banished her from his kingdom . " " That King Lear was a tough man to please , " David said jokingly . " Yes he was , but all he wanted to know was if his daughters truly loved him , " Sara said . " It was such a tragic story . " She shook her head from side to side just thinking about it . She took a few tissues form the tissue box that sat on the table only to glance outside her room . Sara squinted her eyes as she tried to make out what she was looking at . She could not quite tell for sure , but it looked to her to be a man standing off at a distance from the house . He was standing shaded by the dark , but slightly lit by the moon above . He stood off in the distance staring up at her from the small patch of woods outside their room . Sara turned to David who walked into the bathroom . " David … " she called . " Yes dear , " he said back , still in the bathroom . Sara looked back outside into the woods . The shadowed figure was gone . She shook the chill out of her body and then walked away from the window , but not before she pulled the curtains closed . She rubbed her arms with her hands as a chill filled the room . She felt a cool draft move across her body . It was as if the room was not altogether built properly . Like there were cracks in the walls , which let the cold in and God knows what else . David poked his head out of the bathroom looking Sara up and down . " Is everything okay ? " She regained her wits about her and shook off the feeling . She had to be imagining things again . Sara smiled at David and walked back over to the mirror to wipe at her eye makeup . " Everything is fine , " she said . " I just wanted to make sure you were going to wear the blue tie for the service tonight . " " You are in a very good mood , " she said . " Stop making me laugh you 're going to make me mess up on my makeup . I 'm having a hard time drawing a line under my eye . " She giggled a little after saying it , as she caught David 's expression in the mirror . And truthfully , Sara did not want to go back to the window for fear that the shadowed figure was out there again looking up at her from the woods . She shivered one last time and then gave up on her eye makeup . She walked over to the bed and stepped into her dress . David came out of the bathroom taking his dress pants from the bed and slipping into them . He walked over to Sara and zipped up her dress . They helped each other finish dressing , ending with Sara fixing David 's tie . They were now ready for the service . A knock came to their door as they both were sitting on opposite ends of the bed putting on their shoes . Sara fastened one earring on her ear lobe as she walked up to the door before placing the other earring on . She opened it and stepped back as Gerard turned to her . He nodded to her when he saw Sara looking him over . " Ma ' am , " he said . " I am here to take you to the room where the family and their close friends will be having the wake for Master Victor Balestrom . " Gerard said Victor 's name as if he was sad himself . Sara knew Gerard had to be missing his " Master " ; he probably took care of Victor for a long time - probably since he was a baby . Sara felt compelled to leap at Gerard and give him a hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay , but Sara controlled herself . It was not " appropriate " to do something like that here . This place held different rules to the ones she was use to . Though she still looked at Gerard with a kind eye and smiled meekly up at him when she caught his eye . " Thank you , Gerard , " she said . David walked over to them pulling on his jacket . He closed the door to the room and Gerard guided them down the hallway . " So how long have you worked for the family , Gerard ? " Sara nudged David 's arm for asking the question . David held his hands out confused to why Sara would do that to him . It was an innocent enough question to ask , he thought . " I 've been with the Balestrom family for forty years , sir , " Gerard said . " So you 've seen a lot dealing with this family , " David said . Gerard stopped walking and turned to David and Sara , who both had to stop abruptly to avoid walking into him . " I have seen enough , but it is something we do not talk about … here , sir , " he said . Gerard looked around the hallway as if someone else was listening in . David and Sara looked at each other . " Sure thing Gerard , what advice would you like to give us . Anything would be helpful , we are not the best at this kind of life , " David said . Gerard smirked at what David said . He turned and started down the hall again . David and Sara followed . " You shouldn 't talk too much to anyone here . And you should leave as soon as you get the chance . After the funeral if you may , " he said . " But Gerard why ? " Sara could not believe Gerard was saying such a thing to them . He was a loyal servant to the Balestrom family . Why did his comment for them to leave sound more like a warning ? " Ma ' am , there are things you don 't know and you would be better off at your own home , " he said and walked down some steps . It was a way that Sara and David had not walked through before when Susan brought them up to their room . Sara wondered if it was a servant 's entrance , they were walking through . " Well thank you for that advice Gerard , " David said as he looked at Sara and shrugged his shoulders . " So Gerard is there any secret passages in the house ? " Sara thought about the wall closing when she was looking out from the living room to the terrace . She still could not believe she did not know anyone else was in the room with her . The thought made her shiver . " Why do you ask that ma ' am ? " " Ah , " Gerard said . Sara felt awkward when she had to tell Gerard where she saw the door , wall , or secret passage . " I 'm sorry ma ' am we have so many rooms in the house and everyone calls them something different , " he said possibly sensing Sara 's awkwardness . " As for a secret passage the answer is no . There is no such thing at this house . I do not know what you may have seen , but it could have been possibly shadows moving when the sun was setting . " " Possibly , " Sara said . David and Sara stopped asking Gerard questions and allowed him to finish guiding them to where Susan and the other guests waited . He led them down another hall , which from how the hall looked they could tell that they had entered into another part of the house . A part of the house that was not as new and renovated as the main part of the house . The wood on the walls appeared darker and with deep burgundy carpet and wood paneling . Gerard walked up to a double set of doors , which were open . Standing in the doorway was Susan . She wore all black , with a hat that covered her light brown hair . A veil came from the hat and was pulled over Susan 's face . Sara walked past Gerard quickly and went to Susan 's side giving her a hug . Susan held her sister tight kissing her cheek . " I 'm so sorry for all this . " " Thank you dear . I love you , " Susan said . " Go mingle with the guest before the ceremony starts . " Sara held Susan 's arms with her hands . She looked at her sister from head to toe . Susan was the perfect picture of a Matriarch . Sara rubbed Susan 's arms with her thumbs before she walked away from her sister allowing other guests to greet her . She walked up to the next person standing next to Susan who extended his hand . He was a tall intimidating man with dark blonde hair . His eyes were a steely blue and he held a stone like expression on his face . " I 'm so … so sorry for your loss , " Sara said as she looked away from Alexander . She could not bear to look him in the eyes . His stare was much too cold for her to take . It was as if he saw right through her . She could only imagine what it was like to look into Victor 's eyes . There was - now - a part of her that was glad she never met Victor , especially if he was anything like Alexander . She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes looking him over . He was tall and medium built . She felt his strength when he shook her hand . He had a firm grip , but of course , her hand was like a baby 's hand in his . Judging from his physique Sara could bet he was a wrestler in school . He held himself like a wrestler . He almost looked like one of the high school wrestlers in her class - tall and built to grapple someone to the ground and hold them there . A physical brute , she thought . He was definitely someone she would not want to have to fight for fear he would harm her . Alexander came off that way and he probably did it intentionally . To be a man in his position he more than likely needed people a little intimidated of him . Sara finally turned her attention to a medium height woman standing in front of her . She only turned her attention to this woman because she cleared her throat at Sara . Sara smiled meekly at the woman , whose raven black hair was pulled back . She too wore a black veil , which covered her face . The woman 's eyes were also a steely blue and she held a cold stone look on her face as well . It was like she never smiled before at anyone . She held no lines on her face and yet , Sara knew the woman was older . Sara took her hand and shook it . " I 'm Sara , " she said . " Hmm … " the woman looked Sara up and down . She glanced over Sara 's shoulder and nodded . A man walked over to Sara and touched her shoulder . " Ma ' am , this event is for the family and friends of the Balestroms . " Sara turned to look at the tall dark skinned man . He had an earpiece in his ear and wore a tuxedo . " But … but I 'm with the family , " Sara said , looking confused by what was happening . " Come with me ma ' am , " he said and took Sara by the arm . " No , wait … " Sara said looking around for David or somebody to help her . " Susan … David . " She called . " You can let her go , Bill , " Susan said walking over to them . He looked over at the woman who signaled to Bill and she nodded to him . Bill let Sara go . " She 's with me . " " You just met Camille , " Susan said . Sara looked back at Camille who shook another person 's hand , but was glancing at Sara with a smirk . " Camille ? " " You can say that again , " Sara said feeling herself calm down . Susan walked Sara over to a seat and reached over to a server for a glass of wine . She handed it to Sara . " Here you go darling . Drink this , it will help pull the edge off , " she said , smiling down at Sara . She took it willingly and began to drink from the glass . The wine was very sweet and it slowly moved down her throat soothing her . " Don 't drink too fast honey or you will be passed out on the floor , " a man said to her as he took a seat next to her on the bench . " Of course don 't let me stop you . That would give poor no bodies like me something to talk about . " He smiled at Sara after he said it , which made her laugh . " I 'm Ryan Wilzon . " He extended his hand to her . " Oh , my , " Ryan said as his voice trailed off . He looked Sara over taking her in . " Susan is a very kind woman . She has always received me . Alexander not so much , but I know underneath that manly stone exterior beats the heart of a man who loves me , " Ryan said . Sara laughed again . " You 're gay , " she asked , giggling . " You had to ask , " he said . " Didn 't you hear the bells before I walked over , " he joked . David walked over to them smiling . " Well , well … " Sara turned to see what Ryan was looking at . " Oh , Ryan this is my husband David , " she said . They shook hands . " Oh well , at first I thought my prayers had been answered , " he said . Sara laughed again . David laughed too as he shook Ryan 's hand . " No , we asked but no one will tell us , " David said . Ryan looked a little disappointed . " The driver Ralph said something but we don 't believe it . " " As do we all , " Ryan quipped . " I ask because there are so many rumors floating around here and I would bet Camille had something to do with most of them . " Ryan looked at her as she moved from the entrance of the room taking a seat on a bench on the opposite side of them . " Why would she start rumors about her own brother 's death ? " " Did Susan have something to do with Victor 's death ? " Sara had to ask the question even though she dreaded it . She did not want to think that her very own flesh and blood was capable of such an act . Murder was such a horrible act . Sara looked over at her sister who was talking to a few other people . Susan did not look like a murderer , but then again what does a murderer look like . John Wayne Gacy did not look like a murderer either . He was an entertainer that was until they discovered all the dead bodies of those boys buried at his house . Could Susan be like Gacy ? What about her other marriages ? She had two husbands before Victor - two husbands that Sara did not even know about until she told her . Why keep something like that a secret from her ? What made the marriage to Victor different from the other two marriages - so different that Susan actually told Sara about it ? " Honey , that 's just a rumor , but from what I hear it was a boating accident , " Ryan said . His voice was low so no one could hear what he was saying . David and Sara leaned in close so they could hear what he was saying . " I heard that Susan and Victor went out for a sail and when they didn 't return the family began to panic . They went looking for them and found Susan unconscious in the boat . There was blood staining the side of the boat and no Victor was found . " Sara gasped as she covered her mouth with her hands . David held onto her shoulders squeezing her . He wanted her to know that everything was okay and that it was just a rumor . " Victor was missing for four days and Susan wasn 't too clear on what had happened on the boat . His body was discovered on the mainland and quickly taken in to be examined . " " Too cover up something , maybe , " Ryan said , just realizing he was talking to Susan 's sister . He could not believe he was talking to her like she was just anyone . He hoped she would not go back and tell Susan anything that he had just told them . He did not want any trouble . He paused for a moment thinking about all that he said to Sara . " Now please don 't tell anyone I said this to you . Of course , like I said , it was all rumor … " He paused for a moment . " The only real way to find out what happened was to be in that room when everything went down . " " David , dear , you do realize who you are dealing with , don 't you ? " David shrugged . " Dear , you don 't try to write an article about a Balestrom if you don 't want to get into trouble . They have a lot of money . They can make things disappear . To actually write about a possible murder of their kind and make it public knowledge would be scandalous . " " Yes , " Ryan said . " The only thing that appeared in the paper was about Victor missing after a boating accident and then four days later his body turning up on the mainland . It then gave the dates of his funeral and a list of things Victor Balestrom had done for the community . " " I can 't believe what you 're saying . Why would they cover this up ? What if someone else was on the boat or someone tried to hijack them , resulting in Victor 's death and Susan 's narrow escape , " Sara said , raising her voice a little . Ryan laughed a little . " How dramatic and even romantic , " he said . Sara blushed at what he said . She did create her own twist to the story . " I assure you what ever happened that night it was explained or at least will be . Besides no charges for murder have been pressed by any member of the Balestrom family . " " Well I 'm sure if anyone pressed any charges it would be Camille , " Sara said . She knew just from what Camille did to her that she would not hesitate in destroying Susan if she wanted to . Sara made a mental note to avoid Camille but her instincts automatically made her protective of Susan . Susan needed her and she knew this and she was going to be there for Susan no matter what the outcome . The priest entered the room and everyone rose from the benches . " Let 's bow our heads in prayer , " the priest suggested . Everyone did as instructed as the priest began to read from the Bible in Latin . When he finished he asked the family members to approach the pew and kneel . One by one they walked up to the priest and he touched their foreheads with his hand as he offered them the host . The immediate family members and Susan remained at the pew as a young boy began to sing in an enchanting voice . His words flowed across the room and into their ears as if the angels themselves were in the room . Sara felt her body relax as she let the boy 's voice envelope her - hypnotize her . After the enchanting lament was finished being sung , everyone walked over to the closed - empty casket touching it . Each of them saying something as if they were actually talking to Victor , whose body was cremated days before . The events Ryan told Sara about what led up to this day was shocking . Sara could not bear to think that Susan had anything to do with Victor dying . If she had not heard it from Susan 's own lips then it was not true . So until then anything that she may hear will be false to her and she will defend her sister . She will not let anyone disgrace Susan and the love she had for Victor . Everyone gathered around to eat and drink . They each shared fond memories of Victor and how much he helped them . Sara smiled and laughed with the friends of Victor , the whole time watching Alexander and Camille as well as the other members of the Balestrom family . She looked at them oddly , as they moved around the room . No sign of sadness crossed their face . It was as if Victor 's death had not fazed them . They were as cold as ice . Some of them sat motionless like they were being painted by an artist . They ate and drank , but that was it . Sara 's eyes moved around the room as she searched for Susan . She remember seeing her earlier next to the priest thanking him for coming and that she was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow for the funeral . She also mentioned if he was well taken care of in the room they placed him in . The priest smiled and thanked Susan for everything . But after that , Susan had disappeared . Sara then noticed that Camille was gone as well . Sara watched as Alexander moved across the room to a woman they called Aunt Birdie , who was tending to twin boys and a little girl . The children looked tired , as did Aunt Birdie . Alexander said something to them and they all got up and left . The next thing she saw was Alexander approach a woman with long straight blonde hair . He touched her shoulder tenderly - something that surprised Sara , because she thought he was incapable of being kind . Then like a ghost , Alexander was gone . Sara walked around the room only to walk up to Victor 's empty casket . She touched it and said a little prayer for him and asked him to watch over her sister . She was going to need his strength . The strength that everyone said he had when he was alive . " I wish I knew you , " she said softly as she rubbed her hand across the fine wood of the casket . " You cannot talk to me like that , " said a soft - spoken voice . Sara looked around for the voice . She moved slowly around the casket and looked around . She saw nothing . She paused for a moment listening for the voice again . She brushed it off and started back into the crowd when she heard another voice . Sara walked a little further past the pew . She glanced off to the corner of the room covered by curtains . Behind the curtain were Susan and Camille . Afraid of being noticed Sara moved out of sight , but to where she could still see what was going on . " I will not tolerate you being a bully to me , Camille , " Susan said . Camille took a hold of Susan 's hands . " You will do as I say or regret it , " Camille said . Susan pulled her hands from Camille 's and walked off . Sara pulled deeper into her hiding spot as Susan walked past her , Camille following shortly behind her . Sara 's heart began to race as she thought of walking up to Camille and slapping her . What was going on for Camille to threaten Susan like she did ? Sara became flustered and walked out of her hiding place . She moved past the crowd up to David who was talking with Susan . " Dear are you okay ? " Susan looked at Sara concerned . She reached out taking a hold of Sara 's arm , rubbing her arm to comfort her . " You look a little bothered ? " Sara did not know what to say . Susan was acting as if nothing just happened between her and Camille . Sara looked over at Camille who glanced over at them . Camille then turned away when she saw Sara staring at her . " I think I 'm just tired . It has been a very long day and I still must have not adjusted to the time difference . " " You should go on to bed then . I will send Gerard to wake you in enough time to get ready for the funeral tomorrow , " Susan said . They hugged each other and David kissed Sara on the forehead . " I love you too . " Sara walked out of the room and tried to retrace her steps back to her room . She got lost a few times and then finally found something familiar . She walked up the stairs and down the hallway . She knew her room was not far from there . Sara stopped long enough to pull off her heels . She rubbed her feet and then started to walk again only to stop when she heard a rustling noise . She heard it coming from somewhere nearby . She looked around and saw someone in the shadows of an alcove a few feet from her . The person did not see her because their back was to her . Sara moved closer and saw that it was Alexander 's back she was looking at and he was kissing someone . Sara could not make out exactly whom Alexander was kissing , but she knew it was not his wife . She crept past them hoping not to be noticed , but as she did , she glanced again at them only to see whom Alexander was kissing . Sara froze for a moment and then quickly moved down the hall . She found her room and walked in closing the door . She started to breathe hard . She could not believe what she had just seen . Sara bit her lip thinking about Alexander and whom he was kissing . She undressed and washed her face and then crawled into bed as she waited for David to come in . She could not wait to see him and tell him what she had seen . She also wanted to talk with him about the incident between Susan and Camille . Sara closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep . She could not wait to tell him . |
My mother is still in the hospital , although they are thinking about sending her back to the care home any day now . I told both the social services lady and the therapist all what she used to do on her own before the hip fracture , despite being mostly wheelchair bound , hoping to gain a few more days of therapy for her . They called on Tuesday , and were going to discuss her case today . I figure since tomorrow is a holiday , she will be there until at least Friday . She is still a bit confused about where she is and what happened some days . Mostly though she seems to be back to ' normal ' . I felt like death warmed over yesterday . Started as a tickle in my throat on Monday , and then Monday evening I felt pretty crummy . Yesterday was just awful , pounding headache and upset feeling stomach , and that all over yuk feeling . Today was about the same in the morning , and then from noon on I have gradually improved and feel so much better this evening . At first I thought it was the flu , but so many of the flu symptoms seemed to be missing , and it seems like it is over too fast , so I don 't know what it was . Horrible while it lasted . Jake was at the vet on Monday . On Saturday he was chasing a little stick which broke on impact , and then he yelped and ran back to us . I was sure he must have a piece of stick in this throat and was all mad at Larry because the ' rule ' is that you throw a stick opposite to where the dog is expecting it to go , so that it is dead on the ground before the dog gets to it . We checked out his mouth and throat and couldn 't see any problems , but Jake was ' depressed ' for about 6 hours after than . He came into the kitchen when I cut up an apple , but didn 't want to eat the core like he usually does . I gave him a mushy supper which he ate , and then after that it was a relief to see him pick up at toy and give it to Larry to throw . I did wonder if there was an issue in his mouth , as he had yelped once one morning while he was eating his breakfast , a couple of weeks ago . I had made an appointment at the vets for Monday , right at closing time at noon on Saturday . Then I worried all afternoon that maybe I should find another vet to take him too . It was a relief to see him back to normal that evening . So I decided to keep the appointment on Monday and have the vet check out his mouth , and I had also discovered a lump on his chest that I wanted to have checked out too . Anyway , the vet couldn 't see anything wrong in his mouth and said other than a bit of wear , his teeth looked great . He did think that the upper left canine might be dead , due to the darker colour of it , but since it was not causing any problems , he suggested we leave it alone . He did a needle biopsy on the lump and said it just contained fat cells , so nothing was done about that either . We 'll just monitor it . Christmas was quiet , but was nice . We used to have a sort of tradition of all of us going out to do the animal chores in the morning , and then all go for a walk through the bush with the dogs . That didn 't happen this year , with both Meredith and David not living at home now . We also didn 't get our Christmas photo taken , which was kind of sad . Meredith got here first , and then David stopped to see my mum at the hospital , so he was quite late . Then after we did the gifts , Meredith left to go to the hospital , and by the time she got back we had lost the daylight , and then it just seemed to get forgotten . In fact the only pictures I took were of the food on the table for Christmas dinner . Despite being somewhat prepared , there still seems to be rushing around that day to get the meal cooked . I brined the turkey and it was cooked about an hour and a half before I was expecting it to be done . I was going to put potatoes in around to roast and found out that the turkey was already cooked . I couldn 't believe it , but tested it with two thermometers and they both said yes , this turkey is done ! We had turkey and stuffing , or maybe we should call it dressing since I just stuff it into a loaf pan , not into the turkey , and then pour turkey juices over it occasionally while it 's cooking . Roast potatoes , yam casserole , brussel sprouts , carrots and broccoli , pickled beets , cranberry sauce and gravy . I 'm proud to say that the potatoes , carrots and the tiny , tiny brussel sprouts ( it took me forever to peel the outer layers off those little suckers ) as well as the beets were all from our garden . So here we are at the end of another year . Larry has walked down the road to a get - together at the neighbours . I 'm keeping my germs to myself and didn 't feel up to it anyway . The days are getting longer already and there 's a whole new year ahead of us . I hope it 's a good one . My son David worked at the farm across the road for a couple of hours this morning . That is a job that he has had since he was 15 , and has continued to work there while working at other jobs , going to college , university , and even when he worked and lived 3 1 / 2 hours away during the four month summer break . He drove home on weekends to visit his girlfriend ( who he met at the farm ) , and put in a Saturday working there . The owners are family to him . On his way to his home now , he passes by the hospital where my mum is . I asked him to stop by and drop her glasses off , and to give me an update on how she was . This is the text I got . Hello . Just leaving now . She was in good spirits . Recognized me when I walked in and remembered my name when the nurse came by . We talked for over an hour . Well she talked mostly . She recalls most of what happened yesterday . She recalled it in a sort of third person perspective . Didn 't seem at all upset about the situation . Spoke about you and dad as well . Remembered your name but couldn 't remember dad 's . She was having lunch and managed to eat most of it . She still doesn 't seem certain how it all happened but doesn 't seem worried . I would say she was in an extremely good mood compared to what I imagine she was like yesterday . I cried , happy tears . It was a beautiful afternoon , and we had taken the dogs down to the dyke for a walk . I needed the outdoor time . I have missed out on a lot of that the last little while . I took a few not so wonderful pictures with the phone . Should have taken the camera , but needed the phone to keep in touch with David and to let my sister and Meredith know the latest . Thank goodness the dyke is flat and straight , so I was able to text and walk and not fall on my face ! It was one of those dramatic sky kind of days . We were walking in the sunshine more than the pictures show , and no those black clouds did not dump rain on us . The dogs were game for a swim , and I think Calli would have taken the plunge if not for the leash holding her back . She did stick her head underwater a few times to try find a big rock . Jake and Luna usually need something to be thrown in the water to get wet , so we just didn 't throw anything . I think Jake was quite disgusted with us . ' Peaceful ' made a comment about this in my last post . I didn 't think too much about it . I went to see my mum this afternoon . She wasn 't there , but another demanding , mad , cursing person was . It was horrible . She was trying to get out of the bed . Demanding that I put the sidebar down so that she could swing her legs over . She wasn 't supposed to get out of the bed . She was furious with me for not helping . She wouldn 't leave the oxygen tube in her nose . Then she would calm down a bit , and talk about things that didn 't make sense . She wasn 't in a hospital , she couldn 't figure out what all this ' stuff ' was . She had never been in a hospital before she said . She has been , many times . The nurses came to help with her , got her on the commode , although she had been on it not long before . I walked out into the hallway and peered out the window at the rain and the view of the wall of another part of the hospital , and shed a tear or two . The nurses used a 'd ' word . They said it is common , most people get it . Maybe most of the patients on that ward are elderly . When I got home and was looking it up , I was thinking dementia , but then later I thought it might have been delirium . Is there a difference ? Doing all this reading is bloody scary ( my mum used that word a lot this afternoon ) . The surgeon never mentioned it . No one mentioned it . I didn 't know there was such a thing . It 's damn scary . Will it go away ? Please ? So after that sad visit , I went to a friend 's and had a cuddle with this . Almost four weeks old . He and his four black sisters are destined to become guide dogs or autism support dogs . You can read about one of his sisters from a previous litter , here , on page 4 . I was feeling pretty good about Christmas . The decorating was finished last Friday . I think Larry did most of it : ) I got a bit of Christmas baking done . What gifts we have to buy were mostly done , although not wrapped . We went to a really fun Christmas Brunch on Sunday with nieces and their hubbies and their 11 , soon to be 12 , little kids . ( Larry 's side of the family ) . Usually I go to see my mother on Sundays , but I told her I wouldn 't be there for this one . I didn 't feel too badly about it , as I had been with her on Thursday afternoon when we went to see the plastic surgeon about the sores on her leg . ( Not much was done about that , other than to take biopsies to check for cancer ) . We were driving back home on Sunday around supper time . The Brunch had turned into an all day affair for some of us : ) The phone call came during the drive , but I didn 't hear my phone , buried in my purse , in another bag , in the back seat of the truck . When we get home I see a missed call from the care home where my mum lives . I call them back and find out she had a bad fall , has a lot of pain in her hip and has a big cut on the back of her head . They have called the ambulance and sent her to hospital . Long story short , xrays and a CT scan show she has broken her left hip but her head is okay . Her left leg is the one affected by a stroke so she has only partial control over it . Meredith met me at the hospital and we hung around for four hours waiting to talk to doctors and surgeons . I 've got to say , the nurses and doctors were really great , helpful and informative . The result was that surgery would be performed today , with a partial hip replacement to be done . The ball at the end of the femur was replaced with a metal one this evening . It was a little bit stressful waiting to hear the results , but it seemed to go well . I had to sign for the level of treatment offered should my mum 's heart stop during surgery . That was the stressful part , second guessing myself about that decision . Now it will be one day at a time . Seeing what the therapi85th birthday this summer . She likes her jewelry : ) It 's the train from Hawaii . Hey , did you know Hawaii had trains . I had to Google it to find out , and yes they do . Actually the Pineapple Express is what they call a weather system that heads from Hawaii and blasts the SW part of BC and states south with a lot of wet and warm . Last week we had the Polar Express , with record breaking cold temperatures , and this week we are the opposite , with record breaking warm temperatures . Tuesday the official high was 18 C or 64 F . Today was similar . That would be shorts weather for me if the sun was out , but we 've had rain , torrential downpours , high winds , power outages and even some thunder this evening . Our power went off for a few minutes yesterday , thank goodness that was all , and the lights flickered a few times this evening , but others have had it much worse . I was out much of yesterday , and when I was driving home there was a break in the rain , even a bit of sun in a few places , and some blue sky . I love taking pictures of dramatic skies . All I had was my phone , but it still looked impressive . Among many other stops I made while I was out , I went to five thrift stores . Boy , what a hardship that was . I had to force myself through the doors : ) I was looking for some brass candlesticks , or something similar , as bases for these . The coffee cup is to give you an idea of the size . I only found six . There were two or three more out of my price range , but only because that particular thrift store seemed to think their candlesticks were much more valuable than anywhere else . I made a few of these book trees and sold two at the farmers market last weekend , have two more spoken for , and I want to have some for the two markets I have this weekend . The last markets of the year ! I 'm sad and I 'm glad . I 'm doing the last jam making this week . I 'll have a break until the marmalade oranges come in season at the end of January , through March . I 'll actually put the canner away for a while . Of course I picked up a few more odds and ends while I was in those thrift stores , but not much . I did score on some great fabric buys in the Salvation Army thrift store . For about $ 12 I have enough fabric to make 12 aprons and 6 shopping or book bags . We 've got one thing all decorated for Christmas . The poor sign is a little weather beaten . I 'll have to try get it painted next year . They blend in so well that I leaned over the fence to take the photo . It was a lovely dry mild morning , and some of the hens had wandered down to the bottom of the field , about as far away as they can get from the coop , and were scratching in the dead leaves from the big Broadleaf Maple at the bottom of the driveway . Pretty well camouflaged don 't you think ? Posted by I wrote this post last week , and never got it quite finished , so never posted it . So here it is now , a week late . Unfortunately in this past week , nothing more has been done with the dahlias . I am easily distracted : ) Some great cleaning up and sorting out of other things has been done though ! Those two wheelbarrows are still hogging a lot of room in the garage , as are the bins . That cold weather that I mentioned we were expecting , with it 's inch of snow , came and went . We are back to rain and weird collapsing ground as the ice in it thaws out . Anyway , here you go . . . . just imagine you were reading it on Friday of the previous week . . . . . Since I 've come back from Ontario , I 've been working at getting the dahlia tubers out of the ground , cleaned off , divided and stored away in feed bags until next Spring . We had some cold weather while I was away , so the foliage was all killed off . That 's over 100 dahlia tubers to dig up and cut the rotting dead foliage off . It 's been a heck of a job , and it 's not anywhere near done , but at least all of the tubers are out of the ground now , and washed off , and in the garage where there is no chance of them freezing . Larry has helped me with the digging and cutting the rotten stems off . We 've got some cold weather coming in the next few days . I don 't know if it will be cold enough to freeze the tubers in the ground , but there is a good chance , as we have had a week of lots of rain , and the ground is saturated . I dug up the last 20 or 25 this morning . Thank goodness they were all fairly small ones , so it was easy . Some of them have been monsters , probably weighing 25 lbs , all loaded up with wet soil and umpteen earth worms . Last year I don 't think I washed them , I think I had some nice mild weather to get them all sorted out , but it has been different this year . So I 've loaded them up in the wheelbarrow and used a nozzle on the hose to blast most of the dirt and worms out from between the tubers . Then I 'm letting them dry off for a few days , and then will divide them up . There seems to be too many that aren 't labelled , I 'm not sure why . I know some were labelled wrong . Not sure what I can do about that , other than to write a note ( on my forehead maybe ? ) to check them all next year when they are blooming . I have to come up with a better way to tag them . I had tied flagging tape around the tuber , but often as the tuber grew , the tape was buried in the middle of the clump , and I had to try and ease it out gently and try to read it . Often I couldn 't even see a tag until I had hosed the dirt off . I 'd like to plant them in a different spot next year , in a single row along a fence line . That will involve a lot of work to prep the ground , so we 'll see how that goes . Probably won 't go well , it will be too physical . I think it might be too much to try to get our little rototiller to break through sod that has been here longer than us . I 've thought about it quite a bit , and have a few ideas , but it remains to be seen if I put them into action . Here 's the ones that I 'm actually finished with , rolled up in labelled bags and stored in what used to be a wine cellar that is accessed from the garage and is built under the stairs . One year a mouse thought that was a good place to spend the winter too : ( I am taking them into the utility room and dividing them there , near the warmth of the woodstove . Much too cold to work in the garage . It was a cold farmers market on Sunday . We had a bit of snow on Friday night , and then the temperature dropped to below freezing and the wind howled , and it was miserably cold , at least cold for us . At the market we were set up inside , but the doors were open most of the time , so despite having tights on under my jeans , plus multiple layers on top , and a scarf , I got cold . A few times I went outside and found a protected sunny spot , ( there wasn 't much wind on Sunday ) and was able to soak up a bit of heat from the sun . After the market was over and we were all packed up , we met a friend for lunch and then Larry headed home and I went to visit my mum . The care home she is in is 5 or 10 minutes from the market , depending if the traffic lights are in my favour or not , and this past Sunday they were . My mum always wants to go OUT . Quite often we go the grocery store to pick up some of the extra things she likes to have . Right now she is having a lot of trouble with one foot . A large patch of skin cancer on it , plus a couple of smaller ones , and it is heavily bandaged . Hard to get a shoe on it . A couple of weeks ago I just pushed her for a walk in her wheelchair straight from the home . The last couple of Sundays have been quite cold , so instead I suggested we just go for a drive . Thankfully that was okay with her , as even to get her and the wheelchair in and out of the car once is a difficult chore for both of us . In the three years she has been in the care home , I can only really remember one time that I visited her and we didn 't go out . We were parked in front of the dog swimming area , and the tide was right up . There were no dogs there that day . A lonely boat is chugging towards the marina . Vancouver would be off in the distance on that sliver of land on the right edge , with the north shore mountains in the background . Yesterday we went for another drive . This time we went back the way I had got there , and down to the beach . This is the pier at White Rock . See that breakwater at the end of the pier . My dad used to fish around there in his little boat , and jig for cod . Sometimes I went out with him . There is some boat moorage on the right at the end of the pier , and now just a small dock on the left . There used to be a large dock there that formed a square , it was called The Tank . I took swimming lessons for a year or two there in the summer . The lessons went rain or shine or jellyfish . Yes , at times a bunch of jellyfish would pass through . After all , we were swimming in the ocean . I wasn 't much of a swimmer , and was often the oldest one in my class . I hated it , and was so glad when my mother switched me to tennis lessons when I was 12 . Tennis I was good at : ) We drove up the hill and got one last shot of the sun before it set . What a view that house would have . I wonder if they ever tire of the view , or don 't notice it any more . Probably not . You can just see the pier and the breakwater to the left of the house . There was one more thing I wanted to drive past . I had noticed this when I had gone to retrieve the truck at the end of the market from the parking under the community center . This is part of the area where the summer markets are held . Someone got pretty creative : ) When Meredith first bought her condo , David 's girlfriend 's mother offered her an almost brand new brown leather couch . Since she needed furniture , and had none , she was happy to accept . Since the couch just happened to be minutes away from the White Rock farmers market , we arranged to pick it up one Sunday after the market . We had the truck and the car , and all the stuff that would normally be in the back of the truck , was packed into the car , so that we could fit the couch in there . At the corner of their street , there was a house with a few things at the end of the driveway for free , including this chair . I never drive past a free pile without giving it a quick once over . I got David to walk back with me to check out the chair . It was still really solid and quite comfortable , but totally the wrong colour for Meredith . With the dark couch and the dark floors , she was wanting the rest of the furniture to be light . She had repainted the beige , mustard and red walls to a light shade of blue , with a couple of accent walls a darker shade . What I didn 't take a picture of was the back side of the chair , which had been totally destroyed by a cat . We strapped the chair onto the top of our market utility trailer and took it to Meredith 's along with the couch . I think Meredith did most of the work removing the upholstery and it 's thousands of staples . We had to take one arm off to be able to remove the seat . I helped her to paint the chair in a creamy white . You can see another chair , a $ 9 thrift store purchase , on the right , upside down . We painted the bottom of that at the same time . It has yet to be recovered or slip covered or maybe even painted , the fabric that is . I went with her to the fabric store , and we spent a lot of time trying to find a reasonably priced fabric that she liked . She settled on something , I managed not to say anything , but it certainly wasn 't something I would have picked . After all , it was her chair , she could upholster it however she liked . Then the fabric and the chair sat there unfinished for a long time . Long enough that by then Meredith also started to wonder why she had picked the fabric she did . So that put her off working on the project , and then more time passed and by then she decided she really didn 't like the fabric at all , and wanted to pick something else . I offered her various pieces I had , but nothing appealed to her . Back to the fabric store we went , and she decided to buy this . It was more expensive , but much much nicer , I really liked it too . At the beginning of October she finally got moving on the chair and recovered it all on her own , made the piping , sewed the seat cushion . I handed out my advice freely , but she did it herself . It is the first time she has done anything remotely like this . But then , the best way to learn is by just doing it . A couple of days before we flew home we drove to the historic town of Brockville . Well most towns in Ontario are historic . That part of Canada has been populated by non - natives much longer than the western part of the country . I love the old brick and stone buildings . It was a nice but very blustery day . We were down along the river and decided to take a photo with the river in the back ground , and that is the US on the other shore . I put the camera on a table thing , put the timer on , and we rush into position . I had left my hat on the table . All of a sudden a gust of wind blew my hat off the table and it was heading rapidly for the edge of the walkway and the railing between it and the river . Cathy ran to save it , and didn 't get it right away , you know how it is when the wind is bouncing things around , you always seem to be just one step behind it . So I ran to help , and Cathy said I just about tackled her . Never ! : ) Anyway the hat was saved , but in the meantime the camera got a shot of Meredith laughing at it all . One of the cute restored brick houses . Cathy treated us to some good fish and chips , which came wrapped in newspaper , and we sat in the car and ate them . This house was just across the street . We did visit a few little towns on our trip , and wherever we were , we always checked out any thrift stores . We didn 't get much , after all we only had carry on luggage since you now have to pay for checked bags , and the carry - ons were pretty full . I picked up a few small things , and Meredith bought 4 blue and white English China bowls . While we were in Brockville we checked out the Salvation Army thrift store . We wandered around a bit , and I asked Meredith if she had found anything . She said no , well except there was a nice blue and white , made in England , teapot and creamer and sugar bowl in the cabinet . They were silent auction items . But since the silent auction didn 't end until Nov . 21 , and we would be long gone , there was no point . I went and looked at it and said why not , figuring Cathy could pick it up if it was a fluke and Meredith actually won it . I didn 't even ask Cathy if it was okay , but knew , being the great sister she is , that she wouldn 't have a problem with it . ( Sucking up here ! ) . So Meredith said she would pay $ 20 for it . The starting bid was $ 10 , and there were no other bidders at that point . We put down $ 20 and Cathy 's phone number . I thought about it more and said let 's change it to $ 15 . So we did . It was kind of one of those cases of wanting to win it , but the logistics of the whole thing were kind of silly , so really we shouldn 't win it , if you know what I mean . Well I 'm sure you know how this is going by now . So on Friday Cathy got a phone call to say that Meredith had won the teapot set . Meredith hadn 't take a picture of it , and didn 't remember the company that made it , but it looks something like this one , without the cups and saucers ( courtesy of Ebay UK ) . Cathy told Meredith that it would be a birthday present from her . She is driving down to pick it up on Tuesday . I hope she feels well enough to do it , as she is suffering with a doozy of a chest cold right now . She will try to fit it in her carry - on the next time she takes a trip our way . She will probably not be able to bring as many clothes , but that 's okay , it 's a good excuse to hit a few thrift stores here . When we were in Ontario , our first touristy outing was to head to the Canadian Museum of History , which was on the other side of Ottawa River from Parliament Hill , in Gatineau , Quebec . Quebec is a mostly french province , so all of the signs were in french . It was kind of exciting for me , as that was only my second time in Quebec , with the first time being in 1963 when we arrived in Canada after emigrating from England . There was a special exhibit , about the ship the Empress of Ireland , sometimes known as the ' Canadian Titanic ' . This was all new to me , I had never heard of it , but it really piqued my interest . We came to Canada from Liverpool to Quebec City and then to Montreal , also in Quebec , where we disembarked and travelled across Canada by train . We came to Canada on the Empress of England , a sister ship of sorts to the Empress of Ireland , owned by the same company , but not built until 1956 . Our route was the reverse of the route that the Empress of Ireland had set out on from Quebec city to Liverpool England . On May 29 , 1914 , she was struck by another ship in the St . Lawrence River , in foggy dark conditions , and sank in 15 minutes , killing 1012 passengers and crew . The next week we made another attempt at the National Gallery . There was a special Jack Bush exhibition , so we headed there . I knew nothing about Jack Bush , and was really disappointed when we walked into the first room and then the next , and the next and they were full of huge canvases of abstract painting . Something that looks like it could have been done by an elementary school student doesn 't do a thing for me . All three of us were disappointed . He was originally a graphic artist , illustrating magazine stories and drawing advertisements . Those , to me , showed his true talent , but that was just a tiny part of the exhibition of his work . So , we went through the Jack Bush display in record time . I was dying to ask one of the security guards what they thought of it . Here is a link to some of his work . Art , like beauty , is in the eye of the beholder . We did view some other Canadian Art that we enjoyed much more , and then before we knew it , it was time to head off and meet the cousins for dinner . Three of the four cousins were able to join us , the youngest had classes that evening . We went to a funky burger joint called The Works . You got to pick what kind of patty you wanted ( I chose ground turkey ) , what kind of bun , side dish , and there were numerous interesting burger choices , or you could make up your own . I picked ' Crappy Tire ' , which had a round of pineapple on top , as well as some kind of cheese and tasty sauce , and it even said I could pay for it with Canadian Tire money : ) Meredith picked one that had caramelized onions , half a pear and some brie . We both thought our burgers were excellent . I got a kick out of the beverages all being served in measuring cups , and the meals were brought in cake tins . A good time was had by all . Cousins My original blurb is below . This blog was started to show some of our customers where their food is coming from . But . . . since there aren 't actually many of our customers reading it , and just because I wanted to . . . this blog now is all over the map . Lots of dog stuff , places we go , things we do , and of course gardening and animal stuff , and whatever else I feel like rambling on about . We live on a 10 acre hobby farm in the Bradner area of Abbotsford , British Columbia . We are vendors at the Abbotsford and the White Rock Farmer 's markets , selling a large variety of items . These include jams , jellies and marmalades , sewn items , free range eggs , cut flower bouquets , fresh vegetables , herbs and fruit . We grow organically , although are not certified organic . At the present moment our hobby farm houses 4 adult humans , 3 dogs , 1 cat , 4 ewes , 1 horse and 80 - 99 laying hens . |
Welcome to yet another section of this blog . I have started to post some of my middle grade stories , as you can see , starting with short stories . Thank you for reading ! Jamie and Louie had finished unpacking the last of their belongings . It was going to be weird adjusting to their new life in this small town . Their Grandma had asked them to go to the kitchen when they finished unpacking so she could give them a snack . As they slowly descended the stairs of her old farmhouse , they could hear the murmur of voices and sound of dishes being set out . They were a little shy , as they had never met this Grandma before . Mom had said that they were going to have to move after she lost her job . She had described the town and house as she remembered it last . Even though it had been close to fourteen years since she last saw Bungers , Iowa , their Mom described it perfectly . She commented on how some things never change as they approached the town . " Well you boys all done ? " Grandma asked . With a nod yes from Jamie , Grandma continued . " How would you like a slice of apple pie and ice cream ? " The boys slide into the closest chairs and replied they would like that a lot . Mom just gave them a smile and glanced away . Grandma served everyone a pie of her delicate pastry , and then joined the table . " So do you boys have any plans for the rest of the day ? Is there anything I can help you find in town ? There are some bikes in the garage that should fit you . They belonged to your Mom and Uncle . I am not sure how many kids are around town . I 've lost track over the years . If you don 't mind , maybe I 'll tag along for a walk and show you what 's what ? Would that be OK ? " Grandma asked . The boys answered yes to Grandma and finished eating their pie . They decided to just walk to town as it was only a half mile away . Grandma said she had to stretch her legs . She laughed about how lucky she was to have young ones around to get her back into shape . Mom stayed behind to finish unloading the truck and settle in a bit . Grandma was a great storyteller , as it turned out . She held the boys captive with her tales of the town they entered into the streets . She had a little bit of history for each place , so it seemed . So and so lived here , they had this many children , their Dad went off to fight in the war and never came back , this one 's daughter is a Doctor , there should be some kids from this house around here somewhere . The lessons went on , then when they came to Main St . , Grandma 's paced slowed and her voice changed . " I want you boys to promise me that you will not go near that building over there . It looks like it 's all closed up , but don 't let that fool you . You cannot , MUST not go near that door ! Do you understand ? " Her face and voice were solemn . " Many years ago , there was a family that owned this splendid bakery . They had almost everything a person could want to eat and it was scrumptous ! If they didn 't have it , all you had to do was ask and they would create it for you . They were as busy as bees in a hive . " Grandma started walking leisurely down the street as she continued . " One day someone from the ' old country ' came by , they were Russian descendants , and all changed for them and everyone in this town after that . The doors to the bakery suddenly were covered with curtains and the windows no longer displayed the samples of the delicasies inside . Whenever somene went in to buy goodies , they were no longer greeted with laughter and light chit - chat . It became business and business only . " Grandma continued as they strolled next to the small creek that ran through town . " Before long , no one wanted to shop there and eventually the doors were closed for good . It became one of the biggest mysteries in town . One day there was a young man , close to your age , Jamie , who got a little curious and tried to peek in past the papered windows . Well he could not see a thing , so he tried the door . Sure enough , it opened , and in he went . Folks say that the poor boy was never the same afterwards . I only saw him a couple of times since then . he just sort sits there and stares at the ceiling , a look of wonder in his eyes . Well wonder or confusion , call it what you will . But let me tell you he saw something in there and hain 't been right since . " Once again , Grandma went back to her town tales . They had pretty well covered the whole town by this time , and Grandma suggested that they go to the corner store for a drink . The boys eagerly agreed and raced up ahead of her . She smiled and their light hearts despite the recent change in their lives . THe children were standing by the cooler picking out their favaorite drink when Grandma walked in through the door . " Hi Chin ! " Grandma called out to the clerk . " These here two are with me . My grandsons , Jamie , the oldest one there and little Louie . Boys this is Mr . Chin . He is a good man and has eyes like a hawk , so never cross him , y ' hear ? " Louie chirped up and said that he was not little ! Then said hello to Chin as he plopped his soda on the counter . Jamie repeated the hello and asked Grandma what she wanted to drink . Once all the selections were made , Grandma pulled out her small purse and was about to pay when she asked Louie to pick out something for Mom . He quickly made a selection and then they were on their way . Jamie was asking questions about the school and the teachers . Even though it was a month away , he was curious to find out information on the fourth grade teacher and the Principal . She talked lightly about the things he asked about , watching Louie take it all in . He didn 't speak much but you sure knew he was listening . By the time they arrived home , the drinks were finished and they were ready for supper . Grandma went off to the kitchen while the boys raced upstairs to tell Mom about the town and the bakery ! Mom laughed lightly at their tales and promised to scold Grandma for scaring them . Everyone settled in for a restful sleep after the meal , chores , and bedtime stories told . The boys whispered about the town and mysterious bakery . Would Grandma ever know if they peeked at the bakery ? They decided to give it a couple of days before they would see what was so scary inside there . The following couple of days were busy ones , for sure . Mom went for a couple of job interviews , the boys had to register at the library for some summer reading program , and unpacking the balance of their things seemed to take forever . The boys were sharing a room now and there were a few disagreements about whose stuff had to go where . Jamie usually won , being the oldest and strongest of the two . Grandma also needed help with things around the house and yard . The chore that took longest and that was detested the most was weeding the garden . Grandma mentioned that the boys would love what came out of the soil later on , so there was no need to complain . As things quietened down , the boys became adventurous . They asked Mom if they could take the bikes Grandma had found out for a ride to town . It was agreed that they could , but had to report back within three hours . With a wave of their hand , they were off like a couple of horses breaking through the gate . Jamie and Louie laughed , raced each other , stopped for a barking dog , swerved to miss a cat and a kid on his bike . They were enjoying their freedom . Before realizing it , they had stopped in front of the bakery . They dropped their bikes on the sidewalk and walked to the storefront . They rubbed their fists on the glass to clean a spot . There was no way to see inside of that building through the papers that still hung on the glass . " Whatcha think Louie , should we try the door ? " Jamie asked already walking towards the door . His hand reached for the knob and was surprised when it yielded to his pressure . He glanced over his shoulder at Louie and shrugged . " Whatcha think ? " he repeated . The door opened quietly and they slipped inside , hoping that no one noticed them enter . It didn 't look scary , just a bit dusty . The racks and display cabinets were all in place . The wood floors showed footprints in the dust of recent activity . They wondered who was walking about here . Jamie and Louie jumped and turned to run out the door only to find it shut and blocked by a person standing with arms crossed in froont of a white apron . Louie felt sick suddenly , and fainting seemed likely . Jamie grabbed his arm and swallowed hard . " Sit down Louie . A … sir , we were just looking around . M … my , my Grandma said that the store was c . . c … closed a … and I j . . just wanted to to see what was in here . Sorry to have barged in . We 'll go now , OK ? " Jamie was usually brave and self - assured , but the figure looming over them was intimidating . " No , you can not go anywhere . Not yet . " the man said . His accent was thick and hard to understand , but his actions made up for any confusion that may be had . " You must sit . I make something for you . What you like ? " Louie clung to Jamies ' arm and that made it difficult for them to manouver themselves into the wooden chairs beside them . Still , they took the postions requested rather quickly . Louie whispered into Jamies ' ear that he was not hungry and wanted to go . Jamie annoyedly brushed Louies ' clinging hand away and harshly whispered his reply to b quiet . The man continued to speak , taking a few steps closer to the young men . " When was last time you had big chewy cinnamon bun , hey , hey ? I have some for you . You like them warm ? With butter ? Da ? I get for you . " he said as he turned toward the kitchen . He stopped and added , " Oh , don 't worry , the door is not open now . You must eat now . " It was curiosity that got them in the jam they were in , and curiosity that sent Jamie running to the door to open it . Just as they were told , it would not budge ! What was the next plan going to be ? Maybe there was some way to escape from the kitchen . Maybe he could pretend to help and look around . His mind wandered quickly to the punishment that he was going to get from Grandma and Mom . He should have listened ! Jamie waved quickly to Louie to follow him towards the kitchen . Louie was frightened , to say the least , and shook his head no . Once again Jamie , waved at him to come to his side , with a bit more urgency . Louie shook his head again - no ! Jamie rolled his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip , as he always did when he was angry . Slowly he advanced towards the kitchen , cautiously stretching his neck to see where the man was . He noticed him working at the counter , placing the cinnamon buns on plates . He brushed his hands off on his apron and smiled at the creation . As he looked up he saw Jamie peeking in at him . Jamie backed away , keeping pace with the man , refusing to reach for the plates . He stumbled and fell backwards onto his brother . " Umphh ! " Louie exclaimed as his brother squished him against the chair . Slowly they moved towards the table , uncertain what would happen if they refused . The man introduced himself as Mr . K , because everyone had trouble saying his last name . It did not take long to warm the boys up to his humour . They asked questions about his home country and the kids that lived there , schools and what games they played . Before long they had eaten the cinnamon buns and drank a glass of water that he offered to wash it down with . " Now what else would you like the fabulous Mr . K . to bake for you ? " he asked in a voice that hinted something was not quite right . The boys may have been too naive to catch the implication . If they had been a little older or wiser perhaps they would not have asked for the next dish . The boys were relaxed enough and chatted about the stories that Mr . K . told . They started the next list of questions for him while they waited for the requested dessert . One thing they totally forgot about was the check in time they had promised their Mom when they left home earlier . Both Mom and Grandma were silently eyeing up the clock , thinking that at any moment the boys would be cycling up the road . Neither one spoke to the other , but the concern was felt in the air . Their Mom was thinking that she would give them another half hour before jumping into her truck and looking for them . Grandma was giving them forty - five minutes . " Well boys , now that you have started eating this wonderful food , I have a surprise for you ! " he said . " You cannot leave until you order some more ! Ha - ha , isn 't that wonderful ! " he exclaimed , as he clapped his hands together . " Oh , I have no problem with that Mr . K . ! This is scrump - did - i - licious ! What do you have for cake ? " Louie spoke between swallows . Before they knew it there were pices of pastry flying around the room , swirling above their heads . They were both awestruck as they watched the stream of food float and swirl . They grabbed a piece here and there , but it seemed as soon as they grabbed one , another two would appear . Before long the room seemed almost totally filled with cakes , cookies , cupcakes , long johns , tarts and so much more . The boys tried hard to stuff more morsels into their mouths , but they could not eat any more . They were so scared . They ran to the front door , but found it was still locked . How could they escape ! Quickly they ran through the tornado of pastry into the kitchen . The food followed , much to their chagrin . It took three seconds to find the back door , run to it and fling it open . Jamie was in as much shock for finding the door unlocked as he was that they were actually running up the street . Where was everyone , he wondered , can 't anyone hear me yelling for help ? The food still followed them . Their bellies were so full it made running hard . He wasn 't sure if he should run to the front and get their bikes or what . If only someone would help ! He turned towards the main street once they rounded the alley in back of the bakery . Their bikes were not there ! Oh no ! Now what ? Just as Louie caught up to Jamie , he noticed that there was a truck that looked like his Mom 's slowly driving down Maiin St . , with their bikes in the back ! He glanced hard into the side mirror and recognized the face , it was his Mom ! Thank goodness . " Mom ! Mom ! Help ! " Jamie screeched out . Louie joined in too . They stilll had the food swirling about them . It seemed to be growing still , and they weren 't even eating anything . The dogs ! The dogs were moving in about them and biting at and eating what ever they could grab - THEY were making the food grow . The birds were next , swooping and diving at the conglomerate of food . If the animals didn 't stop eating the food the whole town would be engulfed and suffocate ! She could not believe what she saw as she looked out the window ! " Mom , " she exclaimed to the boys Grandma , " what has happened ? Look ! Baking everywhere ! What in the world ? " " I warned them to stay away from the bakery ! I told them ! Now look what has happened ! Grab the boys , we need to get to the house and grab my book . " Grandma said firmly . " Get us down to the creek , girl ! It must be near the town park . I hope you boys are willing to jump into the water , ' cause that 's the only way to fix this ! " Grandma said . At this point the boys were willing to do what ever was necessary to rid the town of this mess . They had so many questions they wanted to ask Grandma , but they could tell by her face , it was not the time . Louie looked at the book Grandma was holding . There were kind of scary pictures on the cover , like pictures of snakes and fire pits and people wearing wierd clothes . He reached out to touch the cover of it , but Grandma quickly tucked it deeper under her arm . Mom arrived back in town and stopped at the park . Rory finished the supper clean up and decided to go for a bike ride . It was nearing the end of the school year , which meant the sun hung around a bit longer in the evening . He clamoured up on his relic of a bike and headed down the old gravel road . He could almost count the bumps along this route , and with his eyes closed , know exactly where he was . A cool breeze tousled his brown locks and he squinted his blue eyes against the glare of the sun . He peddled to gain some speed and when he was going fast enough , lifted his feet off of the pedals . Oh , life was good ! Zigzagging across the road , Rory felt like a bird readying to soar . He came to the first crossroad and as he glanced for traffic , he saw something in the old Douglas farm - yard . He stopped abruptly as he stared at the old building . It looked like an equipment shed , weathered and worn , standing erect where nothing had stood for many years . Rory slowly approached the old metal gate that had barred the entrance to the Douglas farm for years . He straddled bike , and rubbed his eyes in disbelief . How was this even possible , he asked himself . It sounded like the wind was whispering a message , but he couldn 't make it out . He stood there a moment longer , trying to decide if he should investigate or ride away in fear . The latter overtook him as soon as an owl screeched and flew out of what seemed like the rafters of the shed . He had never felt such fear ! Rory didn 't know his legs could move his bike that quickly ! His heart was beating so hard as he arrived home , that he was certain his parents would be able to see it through his shirt . " Impossible , Rory , but that is quite the tale . Would you like to go for a drive so I can show you nothin 's there ? " Pa replied . " That old farm has been empty for about fifteen years . The tornado took it out back then . " With a nod of his head , they jumped up into the old truck and set out for a tour . Rory was anxious to show them what he saw , but his jaw dropped as they came up to the intersection before the Douglas farm . It was bare ! Just to humour Rory , Pa pulled up to the old gate and parked . They all got out and walked to the gate . The rusty chain that held it shut was secure . Glancing over the top rail , Rory rubbed his eyes for the second time that evening . Nothing , absolutely nothing ! How could that be ? He blinked hard , his mouth still hanging open . It was nearly impossible for Rory to sleep . How could he prove what he saw ? The camera or maybe he could sneak the video camera out . That was it ! He would go back after supper tomorrow and get the evidence . The day at school went painfully slow . The teacher had to get Rory 's attention four times during his classes . When the sounded , signaling the end of the day , Rory was the first one out the door . As he arrived home , he quickly did his homework , helped his mother with supper , then snuck the camera into his backpack . After eating , he hurriedly started the clean up , including washing the dishes . " Whoa there , buddy , I 'll wash . Remember the last time I had to rewash all the silver ? " Ma gently chided . Rory deflated , and gave Ma the look of defeated acceptance . Twenty clicks of the clock later , Rory was on the bike , heading off to prove what he saw yesterday . As he approached the intersection , he saw it ! The shed stood as it did the day before . This time , Rory stopped before the crossing and snapped a few pictures . He proceeded to the gate and before he set his bike against the post , took another three pictures . The gate groaned , as if in pain , as he unlatched the chain and opened it , slightly . " Sorry . " he said aloud , then laughed nervously at how silly that was . The gate opened enough to allow him entry . He stood before it for a moment trying to decide if he should continue into the yard . He took a deep breath and swallowed hard . He couldn 't prove a thing if he didn 't get closer and maybe bring something home from the building . As he stepped into the yard , he felt the breeze pick up . He was certain that he heard a message being carried on the wind again . " Don 't … . . line . " were the only words he thought he understood . He pressed on , stopping about ten feet from the big door . Another picture , hard swallow and deep breath . He grabbed the handle and slid the door open . Just as he was about to release the handle , the owl came screeching out . Rory jumped backwards and stumbled on a rock , causing him to plant himself on his back . He immediately jumped up and ran back to his bike , speeding off to home . " Well Pa , this time I have PICTURES ! " Rory said proudly as he thrust the camera towards his Dad . " Have a look yourself and you 'll see it 's there ! " " What ? What do you mean ? " Rory exclaimed as he jumped into the chair , squashing his Dad in the process . Sure enough , there were only the pictures that his father described . How was that possible ? Everyone was on the quiet side at the breakfast table . It seemed as though Ma and Pa wanted to say something to Rory , but weren 't quite sure how to go about it . It was Ma who finally managed to speak , as she continued to stir her coffee . " You know Rory , we believe that you saw something at the old place , but hearing voices and seeing buildings ? Well I hope you can understand that it is hard to believe , especially after the camera showed nothing out of the ordinary . Maybe you should avoid the farm for now . Sometimes when you step back from a situation , you see things differently once you return . " Rory was not able to speak . His thoughts were not on what said , but how he could convince them there was , no , is something there . He nodded to what Ma had said , despite not hearing a word . It seemed to put them at ease . Somehow , he had to get the video camera again , and try that method to capture the old shed . After breakfast , Rory did his Saturday chores , then asked if he could go for a ride . His Pa gave him a side look , as if asking where he was planning on going and had he heard what Ma had said earlier . " What ? " was all Rory could say . He tried to keep the bike away from the area . He even turned left at the end of the drive , knowing that his parents were most likely watching . Something was drawing his attention back the other way . The turmoil inside of him was mounting and eventually he drove back to the house in search of the video camera . By the time he found and tucked it away , lunch was being set out . He ate lightly , toying with his food . You would have thought the scariest thing in the world landed in the kitchen , chasing Rory out of the room . Like a flash , he had grabbed his bag , and was out the door heading for his bike . " What are we to with that son of ours ? " Ma asked , shaking her head . Rory hurriedly approached the farm site . Stopping at the gate , he dropped his bike and spun his bag around grabbing the camera . He slowly drew it out , and pointed it towards the shed . Yes , it was there , standing in the sunny field . He started shooting from the left and continued to pan over to the right of the building . He wanted to be certain to catch every detail around it . This time , Rory drew in his breath and stepped up to the gate , pushing it slightly open , and stepped through , filming the scene as it unfolded . Again the words were carried to him , only this time they sounded louder , more desperate . " Don 't cross the line ! " Still , he walked on towards the building filming it all . The sky darkened and the winds picked up . The shakes on the roof started to lift slightly . The building was groaning as though trying to brace itself against the upcoming storm . Rory continued to film it all . The owl came screaming towards him , trying to scare him out of the building . Rory held his place , catching that bird in flight as it swooped down towards him . The winds were howling now , and the building shook letting an occasional board fly loose from the structure . Rory continued his filming . The voice was louder , as if in competition with the wind . " DON ' T CROSS THE LINE ! " Rory felt the shivers start to climb his spine , but he held steadfast . The winds increased in intensity once again , but the voice was louder still ! " DON ' T CROSS THE LINE ! " Suddenly , he was laying on his back , camera in hand , watching the wind lift the building in a spiral motion . The boards and roof were scattered into thousands of pieces . It looked as though someone threw a box of toothpicks up in the air . He hoped the camera was catching all of this . Rory just lay there , trying to understand what had just happened . As he looked around , he could see no trace of the shed . He did see his Pa 's pick up truck at the gate , however . He raised himself up on one elbow and spotted his Pa lying two feet from him . " Pa ? " he called out . " Rory , are you OK ? I saw the storm picking up and came to get you . I think I 'm alright . Are you hurt ? Did you see what just happened ? I don 't believe it … who screamed out ' you crossed the line ' ? Did you catch this on tape ? Are you OK ? " Pa felt like throwing up . He had never been so scared in his life . How could an imaginary building appear and then get sucked up in a tornado ? " I 'm good , Pa ! I think I got it all ! Did you see that ? Cool ! No one will ever believe it ! Did you SEE that ? " Rory could hardly contain his excitement . All Pa could think was , leave it to a kid to almost get killed and think it is cool ! He lifted himself off the ground , trying to settle his uneasy stomach . He stumbled towards Rory , surprised at how rubbery his legs felt . He extended a hand towards his son and said , " Let 's throw your bike in the back of the truck and head home . Ma will not believe this ! " Pa almost ran the truck off the road , Rory scared him so with the outburst . " Man , I am fried , son , don 't yell like that ! Ok , good , good that you have something on film this time . Good . " he continued trying to calm his nerves . No sooner had the truck stopped , when Rory jumped out yelling for his Ma . " You ain 't gonna believe what we got ! Pa almost puked ! Did you see that tornado ? " Ma did come running . She was so glad to see they were safe . " Yes , Rory , we saw the storm coming . That 's why Pa went for you . What happened , are you guys OK ? Where did it touch down ? " she asked as she tucked Rory and Pa under her arm , leading them back to the house . All three of them huddled around the screen of the video camera . Although the screen was small there was no mistaking the drama that unfolded before their eyes . From Rory 's perspective , you could see the debris of the building swirling around him . The boards all seemed to rotate and lift in some kind of circle dance , spiralling higher every moment . There was one thing that Rory had not heard above the wind , but it was distinctively clear on the video ; " YOU CROSSED THE LINE ! YOU CROSSED THE LINE ! YOU CROSSED THE LINE ! " The voice trailed off as if being carried away with the boards . The calm that followed was eerie . They spent the balance of the evening discussing the possibilities of sharing this with someone . Who would believe it , but how could they not ? The camera could be checked over to show there was no way to tamper with it . After the all the deliberation , they decided to start with the librarian . She had records dating back to the dinosaur age almost , or so it seemed . Monday morning arrived . Pa called work to let them know he would be late . Then Ma called the school and let them know Rory was going to be late as well . Then all the data they had about the happenings at the Douglas farm were gathered together . With a sigh , they looked at each other and headed to the truck . " Certainly . Is there something , such as books , you need me to bring along ? " In the back of her mind she was thinking that perhaps the youngster had questions about life and such that needed answering . Now she was totally peaked with curiosity . They walked to a room off the main room . As she passed a clerk , the Librarian gently touched the young womans ' arm and asked her to watch the front for a bit . Once seated , everyone took a moment to collect their thoughts . Pa finally spoke , but his voice sounded a little strange , softer , raspier . " What can you tell us about the Douglas farm , just out - of - town . The one that was taken out by the tornado a while back . Any stories about ghosts or stuff like that ? " Pa gently dumped the contents of the bag onto the table for examination . He picked the camera first . He wanted to show her that there was nothing remaining at the farm site . As she looked through the pictures , Pa retold Rory 's story . Next he passed her the video camera . She gasped as she saw and heard the recording . The date and time were on both instruments , so she could see when it all transpired . " I am dumbstruck . Never have I seen such a ghostly story unfold . I am not sure where to begin ! " the Librarian replied . She sat quiet for a moment . " I think I will go to the archives and see what I can dig up about the family . Would you like to come back this afternoon ? Say around four thirty - ish ? " The arrangements were finalized and everyone went about their daily routine . If you could say that not being able to concentrate on work or school , routine , that is . Rory was beginning to think that his life was run by slow - moving clocks lately . The tedious tic - tic - tic of the classroom timekeeper was really getting on his nerves . Finally , the end of day bell rang , and released that pressure from his mind . Ma was parked by the school bus zone and tapped her horn to get Rory 's attention . " How was your day , son ? As long as mine ? " Ma asked as Rory clamoured into the truck . With a nod of his head , Rory and Ma drove to the ice cream store . They chattered about what the librarian may have found out . They couldn 't help but wonder if there was something sinister about the family . Soon enough , it was time to pick up Pa . They grabbed one cone for him and went on their way . Pa made it to the truck in five strides . As they pulled up to the library , they noticed that the Sherifs car was parked by the curb . Their hearts raced a bit . Was he there to speak with them ? What did she find out ? They quickly walked the steps to the doors and entered the library , their eyes searching for the Librarian . She exited a side room with the Sherif in tow . She nodded towards them , in acknowledgment , and gave them a tight - lipped smile . The sherif just glanced at them , not really making eye contact . This made them nervous . The Librarian gestured towards the room where they first gathered and they all joined together there . " Please be seated . This is Sherif James . I have filled him in on what you found and experienced at the old farmstead . We did go through some of the old records of the Douglas family . Some of them did involve police contact which is why I asked Sherif James to come this afternoon . " She continued . " I found that there were five people in the family . Mother , Father , first - born son , Wendel , second born son , Travis and third born son , Damien . They were a family of , well , should I say passion ? Mr . Douglas had a temper which got him in to a bit of trouble with the police on occasion . " " There was a time when Mrs . Douglas pleaded with the police to take Travis to a care home before Mr . Douglas hurt him , or worse . Whenever the police would arrive , there was nothing out of the ordinary to see . As a matter of fact , the children were rarely seen . It seems they were out working the fields or playing at a friend 's place , so they were told . " " H - rumph , hum , well , as she said , we were called out there , but when we arrived we couldn 't see anyone . So we walked around the farm and came to the shed . We stopped when we saw some shackles attached to the framework in the back . We picked them up and they were strongly attached with a five foot chain . But the strange thing was there was a line drawn in the ground at about the four - foot mark all around the perimeter . " He paused briefly . " We weren 't sure what that meant until we saw the video you provided . Don 't cross the line . " " We saw the video and put two and two together . Mr . Douglas must have chained the kids up . Then we think he told them not to cross the line . He must have threatened punishment if they did . " The Librarian continued , " We came across a scribbler that belonged to Travis . He recounted terrible stories of abuse . He didn 't mention the shackles , but he did say that his father always told them that a fate worse than death would befall the family if they ever crossed the line . " Her voice was getting a bit shaky , and a little quicker . " It seems that just a few days before the tornado struck , Travis wrote that Damien was sent to the shed for the night for supposedly talking back to his mother . His mother snuck some food and a blanket out to him and was caught by Mr . Douglas . He thrashed both of them and told them they nearly crossed the line ! Travis stated that the next couple of days , his father left them tied up in the shed . Hardly any water was allowed and scraps for food . This is the last time the police were called , by Travis . " Sherif James hung his head a little lower and softly continued the story . " We were not able to respond right away . An accident had just occurred and we had to send all three units out for traffic control . No one knew what was going to take place , or we would have gone , someone would have gone . " " While we were at the scene , a terrible storm came up - the twister . It stayed well clear of the accident , but hit the Douglas farm . Nothing , no body , nothing was left . I can 't help thinking that we could have saved them if we had gone . If we had only gone ! " The air was heavy with a sadness that Rory had never know before . Tears welled up in his eyes , and as he looked around , he saw he was not the only one touched by the story . ' So , " he whispered , " it 's a ghost ? " " Rory , I have never known anything like this to happen before . If I hadn 't seen the video and pictures , I would not have believed it either . I can 't deny that this is real . " the Sherif replied . They parted after that with the promise of a phone call and a time to return their cameras . Pa hugged Ma on one side and Rory on the other as they walked back to the truck . " What a sad tale . I lived just up the road from them and never knew what was going on . " Ma said , " Sometimes you just never do know , Pa . Maybe they are gone now , you know , like they just needed someone to know their story . Can we go lay some flowers at the gate ? " They decided it was the least they could do . So they picked some wild flowers from their field and drove to the farm 's gate . Stepping out of the truck was a feat for all of them . The sadness was overwhelming and Ma started to cry . Rory hugged her a cried too . Pa let a few tears fall but wiped them away unseen . A week passed and Sherif James called to say there was not much more that could be done . He commented that someone placed flowers at the cemetery recently , for the Douglas ' , that was . Thanking them once again for the video , he said they could have them back now . Somehow , it didn 't seem right to pick the cameras up . The Douglas ' story should remain closed now . It took a long time to forget the events at Douglas farm , but memories fade after a while . Rory still watches the skies for the owl now and then . He is gone . RT @ patriciaschaack : Many Thanks ! The Bridge of Hope Is Runner - Up in the WEP JUNE 2017 BRIDGES CHALLENGE bit . ly / 2sQOtHuNext . . . 2 days ago @ SPBastarache I guess that would be human nature to influence the programming of the automation we create . The huma … twitter . com / i / web / status / 8 … Next . . . 2 months ago Post was not sent - check your email addresses ! Email check failed , please try again Sorry , your blog cannot share posts by email . % d bloggers like this : |
I see posts on Facebook that you are sometimes depressed and unhappy , and it breaks my heart . You deserve to be happy ! You were a good child and you are a good man . What you have become and done with your life makes us so very proud . You were the happiest baby , and such an easy child to have around . You were so content playing in your playpen with your toys and the only time you cried was when you were hungry . You weren 't real happy when kids buried your cars . You didn 't need to have a great abundance of toys or attention . You were always able to entertain yourself . I really tried to help you understand the genes that unfortunately that you got from me . I know that you struggled with some of them , like anger management . You did as good handling it , probably more than me most of the time . We know now that there were a lot of things that you needed and wanted from us and probably we should have known what they were or tried harder to discover them . The problem with being a parent , as you now know is that there is no manual to help you do the right thing at the right time . Hindsight has shown us that we missed the mark , sometimes a little and sometimes by a country mile . For that we are sorry , but as you know " you can 't go back " and there " aren 't any do - overs " , in life . We are so proud of the man you have become ! You have succeeded in the parenting game so much better than we ever did and we are awed with how wonderfully your daughter managed to grow into a wonderful kind , well rounded woman amidst the heartache of divorce at an age that sets the stage for adulthood . You put everything that you wanted and needed aside to make sure that your daughter had everything that she needed to have the very best start in life . She loves you so very much and wants you to be happy . We also love you so very much and also want you to be happy . You deserve it ! You have made so many people so happy , now it is your turn . We know that you have overcome many things and your latest hardship was a big one . You faced it with honor , humility , dignity , and did everything that was asked of you , no matter the cost to you personally . At the same time you made your daughter your first priority . The pay was peanuts : $ . 20 a barrel which holds about 3 bushels . A " section " was about long enough to fill one bushel basket with potatoes . By the way , the best way to pick the fastest was to stand and bend over at the waist and pick them up one by one using both hands . I could pick about 20 or 30 barrel a day . My mother could pick 100 barrels a day . Amazing woman ! The funniest thing that happened was when one of the pickers put his arm around my Mother to get a little kiss . He had obviously drunk his lunch or he never would have tried that with her ! She brought her fist up from her waist and laid him out , cold ! No one ever bothered her again . We didn 't know we were poor . I loved canned Franco - American Spaghetti cold from the can for lunch more than sandwiches . My first real paying job was waitressing ! I was so green and naive and the owner was a really nice guy , but had a cracked sense of humor . He told me that the Crullers ( long round donuts ) were called " Male Donuts " . I called them that until someone took pity on me and explained it to me . I got a lot of tips because even though I was not a great waitress , I laughed at myself along with them . Another job was at a new Shoe Store . My boss told me all about this new shoe that was called " a pound a pair " . I was fascinated with it and soaked up all the best - selling points . One day a guy came in and I started telling him all about them , eve had a pair on his feet before he again took pity on me and introduced himself as the owner of the store . My boss was laughing so hard she nearly wet her pants . He was impressed though , unfortunately I didn 't get a raise . I once worked as a waitress for Howard Johnson in South Carolina . We were supposed to carry everything on a big tray , even if it was a pat of butter ! One day everyone was all in a twitter because the big guy himself was coming in for lunch . Nobody wanted the honors of waiting on him . I volunteered and everyone said empathically NO ! I was told to hide in the back room and not to come out under any circumstances ! That job didn 't last long as I was responsible for more broken dishes than the money I earned . Oh well ! I hated the job and the uniforms ! Now the uniform of the next job was up my alley ! A t - shirt and a pair of little red shorts ( I was a lot smaller then ) and a pair of rolling skates ! I was a Car Hop if you didn 't guess that already ! Girls my age ( 18 ) weren 't supposed to serve alcohol so when someone ordered Beer we served it in the plastic cups that milk - shakes were served in . I got tons of tips and several invitations to go out on the guy 's boats for an ocean cruise . Now , I am naïve , but not stupid ! Out on a boat on the ocean miles from land with a couple guys and no way to walk home ? I let them tip me real big , but no cruises . Hey I dated one guy for a couple of weeks , and he seemed nice until two Men in Black Suits knocked on my door with guns under their jackets and nice gold badges in a wallet asked me a lot of questions about that guy . I spilled my guts ! And the next week I packed up and left town . My Mother didn 't raise no fools ! Well , I did have two brothers . I moved to Hartford Conn and went to work for Hartford Fire Insurance as a Keypunch Operator . What a fun job , setting all day punching holes in cards that the guys across the file cabinets used in the computers ? I put a question behind computers , as they were the very beginning of computers . My boss used to tell me " A change is as good as a rest " when she pushed something new on me . This great piece of advice was from a woman that drank her lunch every day . I lived with two room - mates and that was so much fun . One of them was such a ditz that the other girl and I helped and encouraged her to get married as fast we could . The other girl was nice but evidently Mom took such good care of her that she was incompetent at anything that had to do with cleaning . While I slaved every Saturday washing all my clothes by hand and hung them out to dry and ironed everything she seemed to always be neat and clean for work . I made the mistake of borrowing one of her blouses and discovered that she never washed anything , when most of her clothes were dirty , she mailed them to her mother , who washed starched and ironed them and mailed them back . She also failed to get up and get ready for work so many times and we had to pay a taxi that I started to leave her to pay it by herself . Working in the Shoe Shop was an experience that everyone should have ! My job was to zig zag the backs of Ice Skates , Bowling Shoes , and Golf shoes on an industrial sewing machine . I would do about 30 pairs at a time and cut them apart . I was and am still very fast with my hands and I am ambidextrous . I wanted a raise from 1 cent a pair to 2 or 3 cents a pair , so when the boss ( not the sharpest tool in the shed ) came by with his stop watch to time me ( supposedly without me noticing ) I did a lot of movements and not much work , until he left . I never got the raise and as a matter of fact , I was escorted to the door and told that they didn 't need me anymore . There were three very good reasons . 1 . I talked up Unions . 2 . One of the Supervisors called me out of the bathroom to tell me to get back to work ! I picked him up by the front of his shirt and put him up against the wall with his feet dangling and told him never to call me out of the bathroom again . 3 . Another Supervisor thought that we should date and dogged me everywhere . I dodged him but when he got too friendly at work . I told him NEVER to put his hands on me ! Unfortunately for him he attempted it after I saw him put his arms around the girl next to me and fondle her boobs . I attempted to give him a vasectomy without the anesthetic . If he was slower with his hand I might have accomplished the deed . Now let 's think about this ! When was the last time that you visited your GP and he / she actually examined you ? Never ! You are untouchable . You are invisible ! Medicine is a corporate business ; caring personalities do not enter into it , anymore . In and out in 15 minutes or less , ( you can 't even get a good burger that fast ) they have to churn out patients by the dozen so that the payments on the yachts are made on time . Just try to get out of telling her / him specifically why you want an appointment ! Not going to happen ! I have tried several different tactics to keep my personal information to myself until I see the GREAT AND POWERFUL DOCTOR and to no avail . I finally tell them I need 15 minutes and it is none of your business why or what ails me , it is personal . Unless you have got your medical license you do not need to know . Also I am old ! I remember the days when you could go see the Doctor in a few hours or at the longest the next day . I also remember when they could actually stitch up a minor wound in their office . If you were injured you went to his / her office and if it were major and needed hospitalization you were sent to the hospital . There were very few " Specialists " . Sometimes your GP was also your surgeon ! Not so today ! You tell them what is wrong and they immediately , well not that soon , send you to a " specialist " or the hospital . Hopefully it isn 't your arm or leg that is hurt , because the hospital will charge you the other two ! ! ! BTW the Specialist usually is not so busy that they can see you within a week . Also they don 't really listen either ! I recently became acquainted with Urgent Care ! You can get in to see a doctor or a PA in usually the same day . They call you by name and seem to really care about you . Recently I received a call from the PA , a couple of days after my visit to inquire if I was feeling better . When was the last time you got a call from your doctor ? What we need now , is an online virtual doctor that you can talk to and they will listen just like their real life counterparts , and can refer you to a hospital or specialist with specifics on how to reach either one . Doctors will have to become good actors like the " Doctors " on TV selling their Snake Cures . It would save much time , money and aggravation for the patients , and in this fast paced environment it will fit most people 's lifestyle . Imagine sitting in the comfort of your own home and chatting face to face with your smiling friendly " Doctor " ! You probably won 't even notice the difference in the care and concern , it may even be better ! So why does an " over the hill " old fart think that she can write ? You ask or didn 't ask ; here 's the answer ! Because I want to ! I need to write ! When I was little , I dreamed of many things that I wanted to become ; baseball player for the New York Yankees ( I was 12 before I realized that girls couldn 't play baseball ) , that pretty much ended my dreaming , I only wanted to escape into books and become all the main characters . What adventures I had with no one telling me that I couldn 't be anything I wanted to be . I lived in those books ! So much so that when I stuck my nose in a book my ears turn off ! Literally ! Everything around me disappeared and I was the main character ! This got me into a lot of trouble when my Mother asked me to do something when I was reading , I only heard her when she slapped me up side of the head . I also wanted to graduate from High School , because at that time , I thought that it was my ticket to success . Well , another dream crushed , damn ! When I was in the 6th grade we moved to a different town and consequently were bussed to a two - room school house , until I was in the last month of the 8th grade . The teachers were , okay , but were not interested in , nor had the time to teach grammar . In the last month of the 8th grade , the school district closed the school and shipped us off the school in " town " . The first day on English the teacher started talking about diagraming sentences and a whole lot of other things that I was totally in the dark about . It never made any sense to me , and to this day it still is somewhat of a mystery . Thanks to spell and grammar check I hope I can sound reasonably intelligent . One of my English teachers required us to write one full page of anything we wanted to write , be it prose , a story , or even copy something from a book ( with acknowledgement ) . So I had a little fun with him ; I wrote stories that ended in cliff hangers , and when he asked ( in fun I am sure ) what happens next , I would laugh and tell him he would have to wait till next week . Near the end of the school year , he took me aside and told me that I should do something about my writing . The sad thing is I can 't even remember his name . No matter ! I am now working on a couple books , but have put them aside to concentrate on a short story that I am doing as a Christmas Gift for some friends that have been very good to me . It has their whole family as the main characters , on an adventure that takes place on a newly discovered planet in another galaxy . Oh and there is a Dragon ! Another book is based on my 30 year Real Estate Career . It is a murder mystery and some people will recognize themselves in it , but with different names . Some will laugh , be proud , and some will be unhappy at my portrayal of them , even though it is accurate . The Ole Swimming Hole and Life on the farm 08 Aug 2014 5 Comments Life on the farm was hard work , we didn 't know we were poor , we just knew we ate well and had fun . We were kids , after all ! We had our own beef , chicken , eggs , vegetables , milk , and home churned butter . We sold some of the hay from our 15 acre field to neighbors , and some was a trade - off , for cutting and baling , and we kept some for our livestock . We had a favorite place to go swimming , and launch our row boat for fishing , from a neighbor 's field . It had a very small shore line and not a real sandy beach , but the water was shallow for quite a distance from the shore . The thing that always terrified me about the lakes in Maine was the Blood Suckers ( leaches ) that would occasionally attach to a person 's body . I still shudder at the thought of having one attached to me . They usually were about 6 or 8 inches in length and black on the back with a red / orange under belly . My Dad always spread a large bag of Rock Salt in the water around the swimming hole in early spring and he assured us that it would keep them away . Whether this really did keep them away was taken of faith , and I don 't remember getting one on me . After a hot day of working on the farm , it was a wonderful cooling , relaxing thing to do . My dad always had a big bar of soap and washed up , while we splashed and laughed , until we were forced to come out of the water by stern warnings , and the mosquitos were out in force . My older brother was back from the Army and was trying to impress a girl in a cute bikini . He decided to dive off the back end on the boat . He planned a shallow dive , which would have been great , if he had checked how deep or shallow the water really was . The dive was beautiful ! When he came up with a bloody chest , not so impressive . Just small cuts , but , lots of blood . My other brother did his thing , too ! He was told not to stand up in the boat while trying to free his line from a log or something in the shallow part of the lake , but true to form he did just what he wanted to do . He yanked hard on the line and proceeded to yank himself out of the boat and ended up to his neck in water with this feet firmly planted deep in mud so deep it pulled his sneakers off . Mom laughed so hard she nearly pee 'd herself , but finally helped him back into the boat sans his sneakers and pole . Now just to let you know that I am no angel , I was challenged by my two brothers to swim the width of the lake , and so I took up the challenge . The only thing I didn 't think through was that I was swimming alone across the lake , uh , not a good idea ! When my mother saw me out in the middle of the lake swimming alone , she told the boys to go get me . She also told them to stay close to me in the boat and make me swim back across the lake , with them following . She was a tough woman . The lesson learned ! ! We kept a row boat tied to a tree at the shore , and anyone could use it that also knew about the Ole swimming hole . When we fished for Bass or Pickerel ( Pike ) we liked to row so we could put the lure right up close to the shore by the lily pads and weeds . Some of my fondest memories are Mom and I fishing on the lake . In the winter , we were almost always snowed in for a week at a time . We were prepared for it and it gave us a wonderland to ski , fish , and sled . We always were happy when we got a week vacation from school . We could slide down one hill then go up the opposite hill and slide down again . In the spring when the weather started warming up and the Milk trucks would make deep ruts in the road driving out in the car to get groceries was a challenge . Also when the snow started to melt , and the ice in the lake also started to melt , the lake would rise a little , so that the lowest part of the road would be under water , just the place we needed to walk across to the bus stop . We occasionally put a small roIf Mom knew this she would have skun us alive , but one time we carried a plank down to the edge of the lake . The ice was melted along the shore line , so we put the plank from the shore to the ice , walked the plank to the ice , and then carried it to the shore on the other side , put it again from the ice to the shore and walked the plank again . Really stupid ! But I said we were kids . The funniest thing that happened was the time that my sister - in - law were playing around in my brothers Red Convertible , driving it around the hay fields while the men took the hay bales to the barn . We decided that we wanted to find out what time it was , so we tried to drive close to the truck to see the time . Well , to make a long story short , we scraped the whole side of the Red Convertible on the truck . This was only funny to us , not my brother ! ! We found a Surry with a Fringe on top , ( honest ) in the Barn and we used to pull that thing down to the lake in back of the house with all our supplies to go fishing , which consisted our Prince Albert tobacco cans full of worms , poles , lunch which often consisted of jars of Tomatoes , or other vegetables . We knew better than to forget to bring the jars and the covers home . We also found many Women 's Home Companion magazines in the attic . I also found a Poor Richard 's Almanac , and a leather bound book of the survey across the United States . These are all gone now , as the house burned to the ground . My Mother found several old wood washing machines in the Barn , which she painted and filled them will Geraniums and set them on the lawn . You could almost see the tears in the eyes of the Antique dealers when they drove by . Leaves floating down the stream of life 02 Aug 2014 Leave a comment I met my Husband of nearly 54 years ago , on a sunny day on the main street of Dexter , Maine . He was leaning on a parking meter waiting for his friend Joe , who was trying to convince me to go out with him ; of course , Joe was trying to convince me to go out with him . Joe and I worked in the Dexter Shoe Shop , not together , but on different floors . I had been turning him down , but this day , I said yes . He had been telling his friend Shirl about " this Redhead that he had been trying to date for a year " . It could have been because of the great looking guy with him , tall , just under 6 ft . , blond wavy hair and the bluest eyes I had ever seen , or because it would be a double date ! So I put him through some paces , just for the fun of it . I told him , yes , if he came down to the farm and met my parents , first . I didn 't need their approval , I was 20 years old , but , it seemed like a fun thing to do . The great looking guy , Shirley ( Shirl ) was dating three other girls . Damn . So they showed up all dressed up for the Bar - L dance hall , which was just a big converted barn . These two guys were like long lost brothers , even though they only knew each other for a few months . We were dancing and they bumped into each other , they paused , looked daggers at each other , they took off their coats , and just passed then to each other and put them on . This may sound blah , but the fact that Shirl is just shy of 6 ft . and Joe is just shy of 5 " 6 ' makes it hilarious . They just turned around started dancing with their respective partners , while everyone surrounding just stood with their mouths open . We had a great time all that summer , going to dances , picnicking , swimming , and just enjoying being young . Shirl and I teased Joe about his use to our language , which was a little unfair , as he did not speak a word of English , when we came across the border from Canada . He learned to speak from watching TV , which was pretty impressive . He actually used his brothers ID , and even bought a 57 Pontiac , which was very fast ! ! Shirl had just buried his father , and was grieving in his own way , while trying to keep his Father 's Pulp business going . The saddest thing is that I never got to meet him as an adult . You , see , I knew his Dad when I was a little girl . Shirl says that he would have loved me . I know I would have loved him , as I already did . My family lived in a big old duplex house on Middlesex Ave , which was behind the stores on Main Street , which was probably the cheapest rent that we could afford . Shirl 's father , Don , delivered Ice to our Ice Box . If you don 't know what that is , it is a sort of refrigerator . It is a box that you put a big chunk of Ice in to keep you food cold . BTW , not only did Don deliver the ice , his family cut big squares of it out of the Wassokeag Lake in the winter , and stored it in a huge warehouse encased in sawdust for summer delivery . Anyway , Don was wonderful to all the kids in the neighborhood , when he delivered ice ; he would cut a piece off and give it to all of us kids , never from the floor of the Ice Truck , but from a block of ice he could sell . One day I was showing him my kitty , all dressed up in doll clothes . He tried to tell me that the cat didn 't like to be dressed up . I told him no she loved it , and he told me she would run away if I didn 't stop . I looked up into his eyes , BTW which were , one green and one blue , as he had lost an eye as a child and had a glass eye , and knew he was wrong . One day , of course the kitty did run away . My kitty also had one green eye and one blue eye . I trooped up to his house and knocked on the door , and asked if they found my kitty . I was pretty sure that he had taken my cat . Can you see my logic ? That summer we double dated with Shirl and one of his many dates . One day when we met , Shirl had a Bee sting on his upper lip , poor kid it was all swelled up . So as a joke , I kissed it to make it better . Joe and Shirl 's dates were furious ! Later in the day we stopped by a park with a small stream running through it . While , we were just setting , Shirl 's date , of the day , got all excited and wanted to have each of us throw a Maple leaf in the stream and see what happens . Well , Joe 's leaf and Shirl 's date 's leaves just floated over to opposite sides and caught on the bank . Shirl 's and my leaf met in the middle of the stream and locked together and floated down the stream . I bought a horse that summer ! I had always wanted a horse when I was little , and it was not something that we could afford . When I started working at the Shoe Shop , the second thing that I bought was a horse . The first thing was to have a well drilled on the farm . Shirl and Joe used a Pulp Truck to bring Chocolate Boy home to me . A Pulp Truck ! That horse was scared to death ! Good thing that it was back in the " old days " . Now they would never be allowed to do that . When we got him home , Joe decided that he would ride Chocolate Boy . So he proceeded to hop on his back , and Chocolate Boy proceeded to buck him right off again Joe never got on him again . We double dated all summer and in the fall , Joe told Shirl that he had to go back to Canada , and for him to take care of me , and for the past nearly 53 years he has done that . Shirl was born Dec 26th , so he never really had a birthday party . On his 60th birthday , I planned a party for him with about 35 people , and flew his daughter who was living in Washington State , down for Christmas and his birthday . To say he was clueless and surprised is an understatement . I will blog about the party some other time , but couldn 't forget the cake that I commissioned from the local Grocery store . I told the ladies at the counter the above story , and they exclaimed with tears in their eye , " just leave it to us , you will love it " . And love it I did . It was a half sheet , with a stream running through it with two maple leaves in the center . It was the hit of the party , and brought tears to my eyes , too ! Just thinking about it , now , makes me a little misty . Our Daughter lives in Seattle , WA and , our Son lives in Bentonville , AR with his Daughter . So the fact that we are Full - Time RV ' ers should not come as a great big shock . On one of our trips to WA to visit our Daughter , our Son and family drove up to join us . On the way to WA they made a few tourist stops and found a great pair of earrings , Maple leaves dipped in gold . They are my favorites because of the memories attached to them , and I get many compliments on them . Her name was Alice and every day I look in the mirror and I see her looking back at me . She was one of the strongest people that I have ever met . I am proud to have known her . She was also funny , and smart . If she had been allowed to continue going to school beyond grade school , she would probably have been a Doctor , or Attorney . She beat me all the time playing Double Solitaire and Double Nine Dominos . She could walk through a field of clover and reach down and pick up a 4 leaf clover without searching . She had to quit school to help take care of her 2 brothers and 4 sisters . I got some of her immunity to all childhood diseases , not so with by two older brothers ; they looked like chipmunks or some horribly diseased people with mumps and scarlet fever . When she found herself alone in a small cabin in the middle of winter with 3 little kids , she managed to keep us warm , clothed , and fed by doing mens jobs . She picked beans , peas , and potatoes . If you know anything about picking potatoes , imagine this ; she picked 100 barrels a day . Each barrel holds , I think , 4 or 5 bushels , and she did this and still watched 3 kids . The owners of the fields tried to tell her that they would pay her less than the men because she was a woman ! She challenged them ! She said " I will work for one day , and if I don 't beat every man you don 't have to pay me anything , if I beat them I get paid the same as them " . She beat them all . And from that day on she was paid the same as the men . When I was a teenager , I could pick 20 barrels a day on my best day . I remember one day , she was walking back to the field , when one of the young men , who had obviously drank his lunch , came walking over to her saying " Hey , sweetheart , how about a kiss " ? And as he swung his arm around her shoulders , she never lost her momentum , she coldcocked him , and he stumbled over three rows of potatoes and fell on his ass . None of the guys approached her or us again . She loved to fish , fished every chance she could . I think her favorite was Brook fishing , and I fished with her many time . One time , when we stopped at a farmhouse , to ask the farmer , sitting on his porch for permission to cross his land to go brook fishing . He smiled and said sure and proceeded to hold the barbed wire fence up so Mom could go under . As she bent to crawl under he patted her on the ass , and I nearly fell over trying to keep from laughing out loud . I also knew that my turn was next . I was amazed that he didn 't get his head knocked off . The last times that we went brook fishing , I was about 6 months pregnant , and we got kinda got lost in the woods , I fell in the brook , and we had to walk about 5 miles back to the car . We usually caught a few " pocket fish " , and lucky we never got stopped by a game warden . When I laughed and told my Doctor about my adventure , he about choked . I told him how much trouble could I get in , I was with my Mother ! ! ! ! One day I told her that my teacher wanted to know how old she was , she was doing the washing and not in a good mood , so she said " tell her I am 104 " . So that is exactly what I did ! And no amount of talking from the teacher could convince me that she wasn 't . If my Mother said she was 104 , she was 104 ! ! ! She met the love of her live when I was a very young child , and Lloyd was the best ! He took on the responsibility of three little kids and a wife without a hesitation . He worked on the railroad laying , and repairing tracks . It was hard physical work and he wasn 't a very tall man but he had a biggest set of shoulders and arms that Popeye would be envious of . They bought a 15 acre farm when I was in the 6th grade . The man that sold it to them had sold it many times and had repossessed it over and over . Well , they were the last ones to buy it , which I am sure disappointed him a lot . We lived off that land ! Until that time , I was the smallest kid in class , during the next year I gained so much weight , I got stretch marks . Mother had an acre garden , and we kept a cow , had chickens , and raised a steer for beef . He hunted , and we always had Deer meat . We also sold the Hay from the field . We stored some of the Hay in the barn , and my job was to stomp the hay in the mow to pack it down to get more in the barn , because I was the only kid that did not have hay fever . The Farm house was over 100 years old and after I was married and had a daughter , the farm house burned down . They put a Single wide Mobile home on the foundation and added a room . A few year ago when I was in Maine visiting , I drove back by it , and was disappointed , that the owners had let the field grow up to trees . You can never go back ! |
I am a 42 year old woman that is about as happy and content as one person can be . My husband of 21 years and our 15 year old daughter live on five and a half acres out in the country . We moved from the city four years ago and never looked back . I homeschool our daughter . We also love our animals . Our daughter has a miniature horse and two rabbits . We also have a border collie , two cats ( again ) , two pot belly pigs , four peafowl , three emus , 2 llamas and an undetermined number of chickens , lets just say ohhh about 200 . I have many breeds , from layers to fancy chickens . I love poultry shows , I love fowl in general as I have come to find out through having more than just chickens . Chickens will always be my first love though . I do show some of my birds occasionally . Well , that lady to this day has not called me . She better not . I might just decide to give her a piece of my mind , not that I have any to spare . . . HA HA . . . lol . Doesn 't matter . I question how well she would have taken care of them anyway . I mean , if she didnt have time to come and get them , is she going to have any time to feed and water them every day ? The man who got five Golden Phoenix from me was waiting on five Silver Phoenix . I got those for him , and he wants to buy the five Sumatra chicks too . . . and I am giving him the extra three Silver Phoenix . . . I don 't want them , and who needs just three . Better to go with the bunch . He is picking those up this evening . The ten Serama chicks will be picked up this weekend . A man from Dalton GA was waiting on them . Told him the tale of the unreliable customer . . . he says their loss , his gain . . . and everyone has agreed , the lady probably wouldn 't have taken care of them and they would have died . Teddy and her family aren 't going to be able to come this weekend . It is always something . I sure am glad I lead a boring life . . . all that drama and excitement would stress me . Her car is in the shop , CV joints going out . . . hubby has to work . . . porch was falling down off the house , hubby has gotten off his butt and has torn it down and has the framework up . . . I told her by all means , let him work on it . I know how it is , just let them do it while they feel like it . There will come a time when they want to slack off . She is also in the process of trying to rid her house of a freeloaidng boyfriend of her 20 year old daughter . He can 't seem to find his dream job , so he sits on his rear all day in front of the computer , eating them out of house and home . This has been going on for a year . Daughter just adores him . . . so she has a choice , can leave with him , or stay home without him . This is all supposed to come to a head at the end of June . . . til hubby pipes in and says if he can get a job within a weeks time , they have an extra thirty days . . . Teddy was furious . . . she was going to stick to her guns . Yep , I lead a pretty boring existance . . . and I like it that way . : ) I discovered something this morning . This computer upstairs works better than the NEW one . . . lol . Online anyway . Much quicker response time . On Flickr it takes like ten minutes for one pic to upload . Up here , I can upload 6 pictures in like a minute ! Now that is the way it is supposed to be ! So maybe I will just do my entries up here from now on . I have to catch upon my picture taking , but for now I will show some pictures of my Daddys garden . Daddy has kept a garden for as long as I can ever remember . He is very good at it , and loves it . I hope one day I can be as good as him at growing vegetables . Right now I just stick to tomatoes and chickens . I have to say that we are getting a lot of cucumbers and squash in from Ians efforts . I will show some in this entry , and some in tommorrows entry . The lady with the big order of chicks . . . didn 't call this morning . She said she would call when she was leaving . . . which would be about 8 a . m . Time rocks on . . . no phone call . Nobody showing up at the door . I don 't know what I expected . I knew she would do this . . . so . . . her birds are already spoken for by two other people . I have to make room for the new ones coming out . If she calls I won 't be answering the phone . She can forget it . I don 't have time to waste on people like her . We are getting a spot of rain right now . . . as always it is welcome . I picked nine cucumbers out of the garden this morning . I knew Ian hadn 't been checking and I didnt want them to get too big and be seedy . I had one almost right after I got in and washed them up . Nothing like a home grown cucumber . I am cleaning out all my cabinets and drawers in the kitchen today . The cabinets are white , so they needed to be wiped down and cleaned as every little thing shows up on them . I reckon the folks that lived here before never used the kitchen because everything was spotless before I got here and cooked almost every night ! LOL They led busy lives though . She didn 't strike me as the type to cook a lot . They seemed like the eat out type . Teddy has not called me yet today to confirm her and her family coming this weekend to visit . I feel like I am trying to track down people all the time . I can 't seem to get a hold of anyone . Shelby asked if she had called and I told her that she hadn 't and that I was not going to call her . She told me she would call me today . . . and I am holding her to it . If she doesn 't call , I am going to assume they are not coming and let that be the end of it . Remember these four ratty looking chicks ? These were the four Sultans that I ordered when I ordered the layer chicks . NOW look at them . . . they are three months old now . . and really filling out . They still have some growing and filling to do . . . but what a difference a couple of months makes . Here they are now . . . I have named the cockeral " Rod " , and yep . . . thats after Rod Stewart . . . he he . . . well . . . I just had to didn 't I ? I mean look at that head ! ; ) I haven 't named the pullets yet . There are three . . . one is still questionable . It has me puzzled as to what it is for sure . It doesn 't crow , but the wattles and comb are redder than the other two , but not developed like Rods , so the jury is still out on that one . Here are two of them . Summertime has really put me into busy times . . . and that is why I have not made entries every morning . With the daylight hitting just after 6 a . m . , it prompts me to get up and get moving . I have to get outside and beat the heat of the day with any chores that are beckoning . Already this morning I have fed the Seramas and the layers . Boy , ever since the new layers have joined the old layers for breakfast the food is going fast . I have to remember the young ones are still growing and have not mastered the art of going out away from the pen and house to forage for bugs and fresh tips of grass further out . They will catch on eventually . Tuesday I called the lady that ordered 26 chicks hatched for her . I told her that her chicks were ready for pick up save one or two left to hatch . I told her I would call her at lunchtime on Friday to confirm and give directions and we would set a date for her to come pick them up . She said that it would be Sunday more than likely . Friday came , I called , no answer . I have two numbers for her . . . I left messages at each . At 2 pm I tried once more and her husband answered the phone . She was not in , would be back around five . I told him fine , gave him the directions , and asked him to please have her call me when she made it home . He said they would leave out about 10 a . m . on Sunday morning . I told him that was fine . Sunday rolls around . . . I call . . . no answer . The hours tick by . No phone call , nothing . By 4 p . m . I was mad . It may be a big joke to some folks , but I am trying to do a little bit of business here . I need these birds OUT of the brooders . I have many more to hatch . I realize that things happen . . . but couldn 't she at least pick up the phone for two minutes to call and let me know they were not going to be able to make it ? I guess that is asking too much out of people these days . " Oh I was going to call you , we had a kid get hurt , I watch kids you know . . . and well one of them got hurt on the FOUR WHEELER ( ? ? ? ? ? If I was in charge of someone elses kids , I sure wouldnt let them ride one of those ) so we weren 't able to come . " ( DUH , I figured that out . . . eventually ) Me : " Well I understand that things happen . " ( Biting my tongue til it bled to keep it from wagging at her uncontrollably ) " So when are you going to come and get them . " Ian said her birds would be GONE . He would have moved on down the line and sold them to the people waiting on chicks to be hatched . He is probably right . I give people too many chances and let them get under my skin . After Wednesday , if she doesnt show , they will be gone . Had one Serama chick die , it had been out of the egg for a good 6 days and got weak , just didn 't make it . I hate that because I was saving one Serama chick in particular to keep for myself out of what has been hatched recently , but now it will have to go with the order of the lady coming Wednesday to make the amount she ordered . Thats alright , I got plenty more coming out . Ian put in a new video card , into the new computer . Well , it doesn 't have any drivers , and don 't ask me why , cause I don 't have a clue why . So he took the flash drive to work ( they have a fast connection there , we are on dial up here ) and loaded up the drivers off the internet . Got it home , loaded it into the computer . . . then . . . nothing , and I mean nothing . The screen is blank now . No picture . So he has taken the whole computer to work to try and work on it during breaks . I am on the old one upstairs now . At least this one doesn 't sign off all the time . It still has its quirks . All of my pictures are down on the other one though . . . the only ones I have recent are on Flickr . The ones I showed today . I finally got to sit down and have a nice chat with Sherry . Hopefully she will be coming up in a couple of weekends . I am going to take her to Collinsville Trade Day and we will have a blast . My younger sister is having some medical problems . She is only 32 . She has led a troubled life as it is , much of it brought on herself . Tragedy seems to follow her around . She thought she had fibroids in her uterus , which is bad enough , but now after an ultrasound the doctor is saying her ovaries are covered in them . She was supposed to get definite results back yesterday . Mama says she has already said she will seek a second opinion . So far I have been blessed with very little in the hereditary ailments . Our grandmother was the one with fibroids . We have everything in our family from heel spurs to high blood pressure . I do have the BP issue , but take meds for it . We may have Teddy , Adrian and Matthew over this weekend . Shelby and Matt have always played together , but I think it is getting awkward for them now . They are both growing up . I pointed out that they still have things in common . Video gaming being a big one . The pool is always a big hit . Maybe I will take Matt over to see the Runnin Wild farm . He would like that . Oops , Phoenix , the late sleeper is up , so I better go see about getting his breakfast and getting him out on the porch . . . everyone have a great day ! Yes , we finally got some rain . We had quite a downpour yesterday afternoon and it kept on raining into the evening . I know the vegetables out in the garden would smile if they had mouths to smile with . . . I can almost hear a sigh of satisfaction from them . The chickens on the other hand were not happy about the rain . Everyone took shelter . Some were caught unaware and when the bottom dropped out suddenly there were chickens hauling it fast as they could back from the pasture . Meanwhile my little escapee Phoenix saw his opportunity as the wind picked up and blew on the screen door , opening and closing it , he slipped out the door and into the rain . Ian was just a few minutes from getting home and when he arrived he couldn 't get into the porch . He still doesn 't believe me , but I swear if that door comes open from the wind and slams shut over and over , sometimes the latch catches . . . I swear it does . He believes I had locked it . I often do if the wind is picking up and there is a chance the doors may begin to blow open . Phoenix will watch that door , and soon as the opportunity presents itself , he is out . He thinks he is a big chicken and thinks he needs to be out there with the big chickens . This time the big chickens were under the deck and in the chicken house . . . and he was left wandering in the rain by himself . The door latched shut , Ian was banging on the door to be let in . I didn 't hear him as I was engaged in prying the stupid dog out from behind the computer desk all the while pulling wires out of the wall and the computer as she tried to avoid me . I was so mad I couldn 't see straight . The storms had her all riled up and in a panic . I didn 't give her her chill pill because I thought from the looks of the radar it was going to be a light rain and pass on . WHAM . . . the door slams shut . " Didn 't you hear me ? I was banging and banging on the screen door for you to let me in ! " Handing me one small wet chicken . . . " Well look what I found out there in the rain ! " Looking at me scoldingly . " I couldnt get in the damn door was locked ! " Meanwhile , I hear a cheeping and a chirping coming from one of the brooders . It is frantic . One of the several day old Serama chicks had decided to try and wedge itself between the side of the brooder and a box I had in the brooder for younger just hatched chicks to get on their feet . Its wing was bent back , it was weak . I scooped it up , got it to drink water . It was wobbly and not feeling like doing too much . I put it in with the newborns in the box and it slept . This morning it is much much better and stronger . So what the heck was going on ? ? ? All the animals decided to lose thier minds at once yesterday ! The only thing that didnt happen was Derby didnt break out . But he was still acting unreasonable . He was standing out in the downpour , mad as a wet hen , backing up and eating grass all the while . Getting soaked . He has a new shelter . . . he almost went in it , but decided he would rather stand out in the downpour and be miserable . I was asked how do I know what the people buying the chicks are going to use them for . A very good question , seeing as y ' all know I don 't really want them to go for eating . So , to keep that from being an issue , I breed ornamental , exotic type breeds . They would be of no use really for meat . It wouldn 't be worth the time and effort . Once I had a hispanic couple come by and wanted to buy some chickens . . . I had raised up some of the Silver Phoenix to sell as adults . They barely spoke any English , but when they looked them over . . . his wife told him something in Spanish and then he looked at me and says They saw Hank , and wanted him BAD . I told them there was NO way he was going to be sold . He is my big old puppy dog rooster and I love him very much . They told me he was big and would be good to eat . : ( Guess they didnt get it . Anyway , the longer I keep them , the harder it is to sell them . Because I know they will end up dead more than likely . Maybe not eaten by humans , but run over in the road , or eatne by predators . I found out really quick that out here in the country , EVERYTHING likes chicken . You have to go to some trouble to keep them safe , and even then , it doesn 't always work . So , I sell them as chicks , and I think I actually make more money this way . No feed costs to speak of if they are sold sooner than later . I am not attached to them . I sell them knowing full well most people will turn them out as soon as they are grown with no fence , no pen to go into at night to be locked up and safe . Maybe I am being cynical . . . but I know people . Most people will not go to a lot of trouble for chickens . I do because it is my hobby . Most folks coming by , but not all , are not fanatical about it , they just want to throw some chickens out in the yard . I hate that thought , because I know eventually they will be killed , but I can only hope that these people will learn from it , and either do what it takes the next time around to keep them safe , or just not get anymore . I was taking some back roads to the flea market last Saturday morning and I saw a prime example . There was a house , surrounded by woods , and very close to the road . There were a couple of roosters and a few hens . . . one hen had chicks following her around . Picturesque ? Yes , but in reality , if a predator catches wind , they will come back for the buffet every night until they are all gone , chicks , mother , everybody . Before I forget again . . . I wanted to tell you about my follow up on the mosaic house ! I called the real estate agent that was listing the house for sale about three doors down on the opposite side of the street where the strange house is . I have posted pictures of the house before . . . if anyone can still get to the original Chicken Chronicles and hasnt seen them , they are something else to see . Then I told her I would like to ask her about something , if she knew anything about it . So , I asked her what was the story on the mosaic house . She hesitated and seemed a bit embarrassed by having to explain what might be an eyesore to someone looking to buy a home , a home that costs 250 , 000 I came to find out . She told me that there really wasnt much to tell . The man that does the art or whatever you want to call it . . . on the house . . . lives with his parents down the road ( this guy is easily in his late 40s ) and they own the old house and the property . The son is in the business of the materials he uses , so he that is why he has it sitting everywhere there . She told me sometimes the son will stay there and sometimes he will stay at home . . . and it seemed that he was just an eccentric fellow . No real mystery , he just liked to decorate the outside , guess it is a hobby . My hatch this year has been somewhat disappointing at times . I have never had such a high mortality rate . I am not doing anything any different that I ever have . I know why I am having the deaths in the shell from the Serama eggs . In reading up further on this breed , it seems there is a gene in them that causes this . For every one hatched out I would have about three dead in the shell . They will come full term and be dead when it comes time for them to hatch . I have had more than a few of my other full size birds not absorb the yolk sac all the way and die in the shell . That is a mystery to me . I do not know why this keeps happening . Then , stranger than strange I had a Sumatra chick upside down full term , die in the shell . The head was at the bottom and the feet at the top of the egg ! Never had that happen . I would say you get used to having a not so perfect hatch , but each time it happens , you are disappointed . I have so many orders for either eggs or chicks for the Serama . . . but they have quit laying . The heat is just too much on everyone . Day after day of middle 90s has been tough on everyone . The layers all walk around with their wings held away from their bodies , panting . Until the sun goes down , it is hot for them . By morning it feels wonderful , but it never lasts . Once the sun is up , it all begins again . I am just thankful there have been no deaths from the heat this year . I have that happen every year , usually just one or two , but it happens . My predator problem seems to be solved . I will still not tell my method of doing them in . . . but I will tell you what a man that came by to buy chicks from not far away said to me . It was purely by chance that I found this out . He was leaning on the fence checking out all the chickens and we were talking . . . I mentioned that I had a predator taking all my small chickens . He said that he saw a dead fox , no bigger than a cat , dead on the side of the road over where he lives . . . and where he lives is in the direction we guessed the predator had been coming from . . . not too far at all . I didn 't mention to him anything of my methods , just that I was glad to hear of a DEAD fox . So , that would explain why it couldn 't handle the big chickens or the big roosters attacks . I had been told of a great flea market held on Saturdays in Collinsville , Alabama . I kept trying to set aside some time to go check it out . I was told you have to get there at daybreak if you want to get in on the good deals . Plus , it gets too hot to roam around for long once the sun gets overhead . I have been to some flea markets , but man , this was incredible ! I got there later than I wanted to as I took a wrong turn . Helen you will know what I am talking about . . . I didn 't keep going on 411 to where Hwy 68 goes west , I turned too soon off 411 onto Hwy 68 east . . . ended up seeing Lake Weiss . . which was beautiful . Stopped in a bait shop gas station and asked where I was and where I should have gone . . . they laughed and said people come this way every Saturday . . . that I was not alone . I got directions and got back on the road . Got there around 9 . . . sun up and already warming up too much . Not knowing what I was in for . . . I took off my sandles and changes into my trusty comfy new flip flops . . . wrong move . TENNIS SHOES were a must . It was gravely , rocky , uneven ground all through the isles . . . so much to look at , it was overwhelming . Anything you could possibly think of was there from funeral flower arrangements , to candles , porch rockers and swings , clothes , shoes , used video games as far as you could see , socks , shoes , trinkets of every sort from jewelry to nick nacks . . . old farm implements . . . new garden tools , so much stuff ! Up the hill , I saw Ralph there . He is the man that I traded the seven Phoenix roos for my pair of Serama , Bonnie and Clyde . He has two pair of red gold pheasants he had traded with someone earlier in the day . I was planning on getting some chicks for trade from a guy raising these . We are both patiently waiting on each others hatch . I had seen pictures of these birds , but wow , they don 't even look real , the colors are fantastic on the males . Anyway . . . . originally I was supposed to get keets in trade for Serama eggs from a guy not too far from here , but his incubator element burned out and he lost the hatch . So , I was in the market for guineas . There were some red bourbon chicks , I say chicks , they were getting bigger . I love those , would have liked to have those , but resisted . Saw indian runner ducklings , would have loved to have those , but passed as I don 't have a pond . . . the neighbors do , they have a two acre pond , and I bet that is where they would end up , so that was a no . No peachicks in sight . Lots of game chickens , bantams , meat chickens , layers . One guy had a box full of chicks , must have been forty chicks in there . One caught my eye , it was al gray . . . he said he would sell me the whole box for twenty bucks . . . but I declined . I have enough layers , and I was afraid some would end up being games , and I don 't want game chickens . They are a pain to keep . Then one man had what I was looking for . Lots and lots of keets . The pearl guineas , which was fine . Three dollars each . I bought six of them . I had left my carriers in the car . Live and learn , I saw folks with buggies , carts , and such to carry thier finds in . He put them in a paper grocery sack for me until I could get them out to the truck and put them in one of the carriers . There were so many animals there for sale , goats , sheep , horses , miniature horses , lots of all differnt types of chickens from games to bantams , layers to meat chickens . So much to look at , but I had to get the keets back to the truck . It was getting hot now , and I was sweating . Paper bags and sweat do not mix . So I was in a race against time as my sweat from my arms and the sweat dripping off my face and forehead soaked through the paper sack . I am doing my best to walk without falling down on the rough terrain . Now I knew to pay attention to where I came in , what was around in the booths where I entered . . . from the parking lot . . . because now I knew I had the task of finding the truck . I thought I knew where it was . . . got turned around anyway . . . after thirty minutes of searching I found my parking lot , and then my truck . . . before the bag fell apart and the keets fell through the bottom ! I got them in the carrier . . . Now you know I wanted to go back and look some more . . . but it was already hot . . . I was not wearing the right shoes , and I was not parked where I needed to be . Next time I will know where to park , all the way to the back . So I can see the animals first ! Now , before I left , once I got my bearings and was headed out I passed a vendors booth that caught my eye . . . a little elderly lady with home made purses all set up neatly on a table . . . all kinds . . . John Deere , cows , Barns , and yes . . . chickens . . . had to have it . I needed a new purse anyway . . . worth the ten dollars . . . hand made by her . Here is a picture of it , both sides . . . Shelby had told be the night before that she wanted to sleep in and that if I were to see anything she would like to please get it for her . . . YEAH . . . RIGHT . As I said , it was overwhelming the amount of stuff to look at . I bet I didnt see but a third of the place before I left . I told her when I got home that day . . . that I wanted to go back , with the proper shoes , and to be there at daybreak when it was still cool , and if she wanted something she needed to come along with me this coming Saturday and have a look around for herself . I know she would enjoy it . She just doesnt want to get up that early . . . he he . . . So we are going back again , now that I know what shoes to wear , how to get there without getting lost , and to get there before it is a hundred degrees outside ! ; ) This time ought to be a lot more fun having her with me . Posted by Yesterday I felt the need to just get out for a bit . I needed to go to the post office anyway . I went meandering down the road the way the egg customer folks had said the plums were . Well , I found them . I should have known better . . . these folks are city folks , and they don 't know a bush from a tree I guess . Maybe I am being to critical , but they WERE trees , just small and thin . They also said they were growing wild . . . lol . . . and they were not , not really . The grass and weeds were all grown up along the delapidated barb wire fence . . . but it was obvious that at some time someone had planted these in a row down the fence line . They were spaced out evenly and in a line . But , I had still never seem small plums like these . So , I pulled over and picked a few . I mainly wanted the pits as I want to try and grow my own . . . but they are tasty little bites . . . would be great for a hot afternoon snack . So here is a picture of them . I don 't have anything next to them for reference , but they are about as big around as a quarter , some a little bigger . They taste as good as they look too ! < Now , I didn 't load the pics I took of the Phoenix roos onto Flickr yet that I took the day I boxed them up to be sold to a man coming to pick them up that afternoon . But I will , and I will add them onto this entry , in a little while . It takes a bit to load them and I forgot that pic was going to be part of this entry , so I will add it later . Anyway , he came and bought seven of the roos . I really needed to get them gone because as long as I had too many roosters out there the layers both old and new would be harrassed too much and stressed from it . I have not let the new layers out of the holding pen just yet because of the predator . But when I do there will be enough stress with them fitting into the flock without young men harrassing them . When he came to pick them up , he brought a pair of bantams with him . Ohhhh not just any bantams . He has mentioned the them to me the other day when he came just to look at the roosters . . . and I had made mention I would love to see the pair . So he brought them . . . and ohhhh my . Class A Serama Pair . . . and Blues to boot . Never seen blues in Serama . Must be rare , rarer than Seramas themselves . Oh my oh my . I looked longingly at them , and asked him if I could take a few pics of them . I came back outside to the tailgate of his truck where they sat in their little cage and took a few pics . Now came the question I had been waiting for . Oh yes , he asked me if I wanted them . Well you know I did . I told him he knew I wanted them ! So he says . . . " I tell you what , I will sell them to you for thirty dollars . " ( This being the exact same amount he paid for the roos ) I went back in and got that thirty dollars he had just crossed my palm with and took my new pair of Serama in the house in a pet carrier I had pulled out for them . Ohhhh I was so happy ! They are still young , and so she is not laying yet . . . but soon . He has not fully developed his tail , the sickle feathers need to come on out , and his saddles , but they both weigh about 225 grams each , which is a VERY GOOD Class A ! ! ! ! Oh yeah . . . got me some show birds now , I hope . I have consulted through an email to someone that keeps and shows them and sent them pics for them to judge and tell me if they are show worthy . I believe they are , and will be by next February . So , as usual , Shelby was quick to name them . . . she is so good at this . She came up with Bonnie and Clyde . . . and it was perfect ! Now these pics don 't show a reference as to how small they are . . . but you can see , from the steps of the stairs . . . they are really small . I will take more pics of them later and have Shelby let them stand in the palm of her hand while I take the pictures and you will see , they truly are tiny ! Well , here they are , Bonnie and Clyde . Yes yes ! I was just emailed back from asking the person about my birds and he says they are very pretty and he encourages me to show them ! So , I guess the expert has spoken ! ALRIGHT ! I know these are going to be traded or sold . The man does a lot of trading and buying and selling for a hobby . . . of all different fowl . I just hope they won 't be eaten . : ( I know there is no guarantee where they will end up , but I couldn 't keep them . Their antics were very funny to watch at times , so I will miss them . I do have three left here . . . so I didnt get rid of all of them . Too much is happening . I am going to tell you I am not used to losing any of my animals . Everyone here lives to a ripe old age if I have anything to do with it . It is very difficult for me to handle what is going on here . Remember my girls . . . the three bantam cochin frizzle hens I showed this past February ? They are gone . Taken , all three , in one invasion , one attack . I went out yesterday morning , and they were there . I know they were . So the attack came in daylight . Last evening I went out to feed the pigs and out to the side going out towards the neighbors I saw white feathers , clumps , everywhere . My first thought was the remaining silkies had been taken . Then I turned and saw both boys popping around and became increasingly puzzled . Dorothy is in the house in a cage sitting on Serama eggs for me , so I knew she was safe . OH NO . . . I turned and my eyes fell upon a completely empty frizzle house . . . no no no no . . . Tears welling up . . . no no no NO NO . . . getting louder . Not my girls . Not them . But it was . . . and bless their heart , one of my Phoenix roos had tried to fend off whatever it was because there were neck feathers from one of them behind the frizzle house , and the board that was up against the back of the house had been pulled aside and there were signs of digging . Unable to dig through the hard earth it went around to the front of the house and pulled off the chicken wire front enough to squeeze in and take them . There was evidence of small footprints , I am thinking this predator is a fox . It does not like to tangle with the big chickens . It is taking the little ones . One frizzle had made a run for it as I found feathers toward the back of our vegetable garden . She did not make it . No one did . The neighbors I spoke of used to have loose dogs , a nuisance in itself . BUT . . . I think that is what had kept the predators away . It dragged the bodies to that side of the property , where the dogs used to patrol . Now I haven 't seen those dogs in a few months now . The older man living there is bedridden , so his kids are caring for him and his property . I am thinking they don 't have the dogs anymore . Now , I will not say here what I am going to do , because some may not agree with it . But know this , I will get my predator . Yes I will . So , that makes seven chickens in a week . I can 't have it . Now , you would think it had had its fill and wouldn 't be back for a while yes ? Nope . Last night some time it came back . I have a Phoenix rooster that roosts at night on the fence by the patio and the pool area . He and the others were fine this morning . . . but , there were a LOT of Phoenix feathers about 12 feet away in the grass from where he roosts . Guess he gave the predator " what to for " as they say and it ran off . In other news , Phoenix is holding steady . He seemed better yesterday evening . I weighed him this morning and his weight is coming back up some . He did eat yesterday , and I kept fresh water with the antibiotic and vitamins out for him , he did drink a lot of it , which is really good . He still seems to get tired fast , I caught him drooping his head down this morning on the porch , falling asleep . So he is not out of the woods yet . Oh , has anyone ever seen wild plums ? ? ? I have , now ! I will try to go out and snap a few pics of them . Someone came by for eggs and had found some wild plums up the road , brought me one to taste , it was GOOD ! little , about the size of one of my little Serama eggs . I would like to grow some . . . its on a bush , not a tree . . . ever seen those ? Posted by Nope , your eyes are not playing tricks on you . . . this is not Phoenix , it is Mazda . Last February I went to my first Poultry Show . I was showing my pair of Japanese Silver Phoenix . In the sale barn there was a silent auction going on of various fowl . This little man stole my heart when I saw him . He was not tame at all , but I could fix that I told myself . So , on the little index card dangling from his cage I put my bid in . The auction would be over at noon . . . and I had a couple of hours to kill so I went roaming about looking once again at all the show birds . I came back later to see someone had outbid me . So , I up the bid . . . and as I did some snot nosed teenager came over and put a higher bid . So I said okay , I am gonna take this bird home whatever it costs . So , here we go , it is like a dang Ebay auction bidding war except it was transpiring on this index card . Back and forth we stood there scribbling higher and higher . . . til the auction was called over . Well you guessed it . . . he won out . I was more upset than I thought I would be . . . I wanted this bird in a bad way . His father came over and saw me standing there fretting and wringing my hands in despair at my loss and says to me Needless to say his son was not pleased at all . . . no he was not . He made me nervous and kept hanging around the pen of this little bird . I was afraid he would steal him . . . it has happened before I have been told . That is why you really should take your win and put them in a pen and get themput away . . . but Ian and Shelby had come along . . . and they had grown weary of the show and went down the way to visit some friends of ours that lived close by . I had to call and get him to come back and get tihs bird so I could relax . He did , and I relaxed . So you may be asking why his name is Mazda . Well , it just so happened that after the poultry show we had plans to go and look at a car for Ian . A MazdaSpeed , a performance version of the Miata . The little man went with us of course , and all the sales people were just enthralled with him and I had folks coming with their phones and taking pics with the camera feature on their phones . So , we named him after Ians car . He was already taming down by the time we were leaving with Ians car . Got to save all this , I am so afraid I will get signed off or something . . . so there is more to this story , I will be back in a minute . Four months passed . . February , March , April and into May . Mazda became a great little pet . He was much more independent than Phoenix . . but still friendly . Like Phoenix , he enjoyed human attention , treats , neck scratching . He spent his days out on the screen porch and came in at night to sleep on the back of the living room couch . No pillow tent or anything like Phoenix had to have . . . just the back of a couch would do . In May . . . he began to experience a light molt . He lost little feathers and then some big feathers . . . a lot of his wing feathers . After a couple of weeks of this . . . it was apparent he was not feeling quite right . He seemed sluggish and was not eating with gusto . I started him on antibiotics , a vitamin and mineral supplement , VetRX , everything I could think of . The days passed . He got worse . He became very lethargic . I had to use a dropper and force feed him the medicated water . Nothing was working . I had moved him to the back of the couch in our bedroom so I could stay with him and moniter him . He slept atop a bedpillow with a towel over it for cleanliness . . . it was layed on the back of the couch resting up against the wall for support . One morning as I woke up to the alarm and got Ian up for work I turned on the light to check on him . He wouldn 't stand up on his own anymore , he was barely alive . . . I started crying as I picked him up . . . this is even now breaking my heart when I think of it . How could I get so attached in just four months ? I have no idea . It just snuck up on me and happened . He is buried out by the back step with a big red stone on the top of his grave . My daughter wrote hima good bye note and we put it in the box with him . . . along with a lock of my hair and her hair . . . he loved to preen our hair . It was all just so sad . June and July passed and life went on . The sadness subsided and summer was on full blast with pool time and friends over . . . July 4th celebrations , fireworks , cookouts . He was gone but not forgotten . Should I try to get another ? I asked myself , and found myself not ready yet . The man that bred this made up breed was in Lagrange . My long time friends mother developed cancer , and it took her in a months time . The funeral was in August . I went down to be with my friend of course . On the way back . . . I had a plan already in motion . Yes , it was time . I was close . . . I was in Columbus . . . I could ride right through LaGrange in Highway 27 and pick me up a new little man . I had called ahead of course and set it all up . So , I arrived at the mans house . . . and we went to the back to see all his birds . WOW . . . he had a million little Mazdas . . . only three months old . ( actually , they are not called Mazdas . . . lol . . . they are called Blue Wheaton Sports ) Now let me tell you something . This is a made up breed . You take a brassy back blue roo and a wheaton hen , and you get a Blue Wheaton Sport . This is his own personal conglomeration . He took out three . . . wild and crazy guys . . . put them in three seperate cages for me to look at them and pick one . I stuck my hand in each cage , to see what the response would be . The one that didn 't freak out won out . I took him home and he took right to us all . He was fantastic . Maybe a little too friendly for a while . . . he was all over us , followed any of us everywhere and wanted to held all the time ! That is why he ended up with a pillow tent for a bed , so we could get him to go to sleep somewhere besides on us ! LOL So , with Mazda dying at a year and four months old ( I got him when he was a year old ) I am paranoid and ever watchful of Phoenix . We never found out what was really wrong with Mazda . The breeder told me , sometimes , they just die , and thats the way it is . I give Phoenix a bird vitamin supplement in his water every day . I want him to live a long time . Little chickens can live fifteen years . He doesn 't get white bread as a treat like Mazda did , only wheat . Phoenix is right over a year old now . Yesterday morning he slept too late . I got him up , he seemed bleary eyed and sleepy . Took him out onto the porch . . . no crowing , no dancing around . . . just stood there . Hmmm . . . . I watched him throughout the day . . . and that evening I tried to give him his wheat bread . . . and he wouldn 't eat it . I weighed him . He had lost 70 grams . That is alarming considering he only weighed 570 grams . I immediately started him on antibiotics , vitamins , VetRX . This morning he slept late again . He was up at 7 am . I took him outside to the porch . . . nothing . . . dazed . . . not waking up like a little roo should . So I dosed him . . . and we went and laid back down . he was shivering . . . cold . I pulled the blankets up onto him and me and we slept soundly for two hours . He was back up at 9 . . . and talking some . He seemed a little more animated . We went outside to the back porch again . He got down , crowed a couple of times , went running from one side of the screens to the other to see what was going on out there in the yard . . . dancing . After a few minutes of this , he got tired . . . and went back into sleepy slow mode . I picked him up and cradled him , rocking him for a while as he closed his eyes . Please God not again . I prayed that this was not happening again . I don 't think my heart can take it . This is not like loving your dog or cat , this is different . I can 't explain it , it just is . He is sitting down a lot . . . on the porch floor . He DID eat some this morning at 9 , so that was encouraging . I am giving him two days too get better . If there is no improvement I am taking him to an avian / exotic veterinarian . I had to use one once before for the iguana , so I will go there . I will do what I have to , I don 't care if it costs . . . I don 't want to lose him . . . my heart would break . Why would I think there is a connection in Mazdas illness and Phoenixs ? Because it is a made up breed . I am afraid the genetics of the two being bred have a flaw . A flaw that shortens their life terribly . Good Saturday afternoon ! Today I wanted to share some photos of my Grandmama and Phoenix . Last Sunday we went to the nursing home where she lives and visited . The last time we went I took Phoenix . . . and his presence was requested for this visit also . My Grandmama doesn 't like a whole lot of anything . . . except she likes the FOXNews channel and Newsweek magazines . So for her to like Phoenix does my heart good . When we first arrived she was sitting down at the end of the hall with a friend of hers . The sun was bright and lit the hall . . . it was nice to have the sun coming in the doors and windows and there was a bird feeder outside that door they could watch the birds come and go from . They have bird houses and bird feeders all over the grounds there . I like that . I wish I had had my camera when we were coming back from picking up lunch for everyone . . . there were so many purple martins on the condo type house for them . . . it was really neat . So anyway , we got to meet her friend , and her friend held Phoenix . Grandmama had told her all about him . Most find it strange that a little rooster like that can be carried around like people would carry around a little dog . . . but it is really no different than having a parrot as a pet . . . the one difference being I don 't trust parrots , they are very moody and some are so big they could take a finger off with one bite if they just felt like it . I don 't have to worry about that with Phoenix . Being in a nursing home has been difficult for Grandmama . Losing her independence has been a hard thing to accept . I imagine myself going kicking and screaming before being put in one . This particular place is very nice , not hospital like much at all . It is out in the country too . The place is a small facility , does not house but about 75 folks . . . so personal attention is not a problem . She has been through several and finally settled here , feeling like this place was the best and much better than any of the others . . . and she is right . If I had to be in a nursing home , that one would be a good one to be in . We had a very nice visit , I took her another album for her to keep full of photos for her to show to her friends and to look over from time to time . I only hope if I live to 80 years old like her , that my body won 't quit on me the way hers has . She has rheumatoid arthritis . . . and it has eaten away at her terribly . |
There were five locks on the door . The brass deadbolt and key locks , the chain locks , the wooden crossbeam . I always slept with all five of them secured . Joy no longer locked her door at all . " It 's doesn 't matter , Mom , " she said . " They will come if they want to . " One night the month before , exhausted from trying helping a woman give birth , after neighbors had carried away both the heavy body and the tiny one , Joy had fallen asleep at my kitchen table , her head on her folded arms . And I had locked all five of my locks , locked her inside with me . I had slept well , knowing my own baby was as safe as I could make her , for one night . I unwrapped the blanket and lay 7 - year - old Hiram on the table . He was unconscious . I could see many broken ribs , a broken jaw , a mangled arm . He had lost a lot of blood . His heartbeat was a quivering whisper in his pale , crushed chest . He would not survive . This town never had a hospital , and there was no way to get him to another town . Tears began to drip down the big man 's face . " I 'm not taking him up to Lookout , Doc . I won 't do it ! No member of my family … " " Of course not , Hank , " I said , putting an arm around his broad but bony shoulder . " Don 't you even think about that now . Just make him comfortable . " Hank would bury his son in his own backyard , and the next - door neighbor would help him dig the grave . I knew . That 's how it had become in Garden Grove , when children died . " Wait . " I took a book from the bookshelf , pulled a tiny box from behind it , shook the pills out into my hand . There were eleven left . " Here , " I said , giving him one . " If Hiram wakes up , and you can get him to eat or drink anything , try to get this down him . It will help him feel better . I … wish I could do more . " I got dressed . I had taken to wearing Joy 's dresses , because my pants would no longer stay up around my waist . The dresses flapped around me like sheets on a clothesline . After years of fighting to reach a healthy weight , I had found a diet that worked : starvation . I chuckled . I had worked at the Wal - Mart , ever since my husband died , many years before the cloud . It had never been enough to support all three of us . So in the last year , I 'd been taking classes at night school to become a pharmacist . The college was in another town . It might as well have been as far away as the yellow full moon that glowed over Garden Grove that night . But I was glad for the little medical training I 'd had time to receive . The town had once had four real doctors ; they were gone now . Missing , like half the people in town . No one knew if they were killed at once by the cloud , or crushed by trees like little Hiram , or if they were slowly dying of the poisoning , holed up behind locked doors . Or maybe they were up with the ghosts on Lookout Mountain , already dead and gone . Light filtering through the green leaves , one leaf dancing back and forth in the breeze , showing its silvery underside , mesmerizing , soothing , the pulse of life . The wind sweetened by the scent of the trees , the wonderful rustling whisper of the branches … water trickles from a nearby waterfall . Begins splashing louder . Unlocking the five locks , I was already arguing with her . " Oh , please , you know I hate those meetings . What 's the point ? We all know the score . " The neighborhood meeting was a dozen gaunt people collapsed onto folding chairs in the school basement . Shadows from the three huge beeswax candles scampered across the pale green enamel - painted walls . Markham , a man with a serious - sounding cough and smudgy glasses , presided . Some of those in the audience did not seem to know where they are . They ran their hands through dirty , too - long hair . Some stared at the floor for the entire meeting . One woman appeared to be crying softly . " We have 62 days of food left in the common can collection , " Markham said . " That means we 're in pretty good shape for now , but 62 days in not really a long time . Food remains our biggest concern . " Markham had written notes on blue index cards , having prepared solemnly for this meeting . He was our leader , although no one knew his first name . He was the new mayor , in much the way I was the new doctor . The roadblock was made of abandoned and donated cars and trucks . Not much point in owning a vehicle , once the gas was gone . My own Buick was in the pile at the south end of town . Jonathan 's new purple Pontiac , the one he bought with his grease - stained paychecks from the fried chicken place , saving all though the summer before his senior year in high school - the Pontiac stood upright , wedged between the video store owner 's Cadillac and his principal 's old Volvo . My son 's old car helped guard the east end of town . " People ! " Markham said , to restore order . " Please , people . I know you 're interested in how we 're doing . Let me finish my report . " He shuffled his index cards , coughed ominously , and leaned closer to the candle on the long table before him . In the shadows , the circles beneath his eyes grew , giving him a skeletal and somewhat more commanding affect . The audience grew silent . " We remain without electric power or telephone service . Bill Watson , who was a ham radio operator , is missing , and no one else in town has been able to figure out how to operate his radio equipment . If any of you knows anything about radios , or someone who does , please contact me at once . " After the cloud , when the trees came down , so did the power lines , and the phone lines . People had rushed about to repair them , but by the next day , there were not enough healthy repairmen to do the work . The only real progress Garden Grove made was in the first 24 hours . After that , almost everyone who had had direct contact with the powder became nauseous , sweaty , had seizures . One by one , and sometimes four and five at a time , they had dropped dead . Markham scanned the room again , growing breathless . His official posture was exhausting to this man , who had perhaps once been handsome , with clear blue eyes behind the bleary glasses , and a trim mustache . He fought to finish his stack of index cards . " Do not trust the tap water , and do not drink from the river . " He pointed vaguely to a poster on the wall that listed these rules . " Do not burn the contaminated wood for fuel . Wash everything that touches the blue - green powder before you use it . I cannot emphasize that enough . " I pumped my own water from the well in the yard . Without water from the deep artesian wells , the town 's survivors would have died in a few days . Instead , we had been privileged to struggle through months , slowly starving . " Is there any hope at all ? " It was a pasty middle - aged woman with large , bulging eyes , her face flushed , angry . Her expression was that of a desperate walrus . Markham tried to be soothing . " Of course there is hope , Mrs . Ingerson , " he said . " We have the hope that there is still life outside Garden Grove and Middleport Township and Iroquois County . We have sent crews to check . " She would not be placated . " Why aren 't you as sick as the rest of us ? You and your daughter . You have some pills you 're taking that are keeping you alive , don 't you ? Pills you won 't share with the rest of the town ? Don 't you , Doc ? Don 't you ? " " That 's my whole secret . And I knew enough not to touch the powder , not to burn the wood . I wash everything . I might not have been exposed as much as you were . " She waited , afraid to meet my eyes , then spoke . " Do you have anything left to use as anesthetic ? I want to do a procedure I 've never done without anesthetic . I don 't know if I can keep him … still enough . " I thought of the 10 pills I had left , my assurance of a swift , painless death . I nodded . " I can let you have a few Vicodins . " Joy was 16 now , but probably as old as she would ever live to be . She had planned to be a nurse . Now she was like the rest of us : she could be whatever she chose . She 'd washed her patients and her house with betadine , from the last cases of the disinfectant I could find . She had set up three beds in her apartment , and in each one , someone was dying . Two of her patients were the children of friends , one brain damaged from a tree accident . She gave them antibiotics , shared her food with them . " I know you think what I do is pointless , Mom , " she said softly . " I know I can 't really save anyone . My patients all die . " " No , it 's not pointless , not at all , " I replied , lifting her chin , so her eyes met mine . " My patients all die , too . I just don 't know how you can stand to watch them die . " At high noon the following day , I visited her during the surgery . A man was strapped tightly to her kitchen table , positioned beneath the skylight , grimacing as he bit down on a towel . Old Carmen , a deaf - mute woman who lived next door , wiped the man 's forehead with cool water . A tourniquet had squeezed off the blood supply to the man 's thigh . A turkey carving knife stood nearby , which she had used to cut through ligaments at the knee . I felt relief at having missed that part of the operation . I had no stomach for this . I could dress wounds , prescribe pills . But Joy had gone way beyond that , and now tried anything she thought would work . She had left a skin flap , had used my precious betadine to disinfect , and was placing the last of the silk sutures on the main arteries . She frowned in concentration over her paper mask , consulting a medical book she had carefully disinfected and wrapped in a plastic dry cleaner bag . She would try to stop the bleeding , wrap the wounded area tightly in a bandage , and hope for the best . " Why do this , Joy ? Why put this man through this , to live a few more weeks ? " I asked . " The chance of infection is so great , the pain he 's going to feel without any drugs when he wakes up … " I looked at the grimacing , sweating face , surrounded by the sheets we used as surgical drapes . So it was . Mr . Talman , her 6th grade music teacher , unrecognizably thin now , like everyone else . Only Mr . Talman had liked both my children , had recognized and appreciated their native talent . Of all their teachers , only he was proud of their accomplishments . Only he had said to Joy , " I hope you are just like your older brother . " The thought of Jonathan brought a stab of longing . I could not believe I would never see him again . I told myself I would have the courage to check for a message that night , when it was dark again . I had noticed later that blue - green dust had somehow filtered into the garage through air leaks around the door , had covered the drum skins with a fine blue - green glow , had settled on the rafters . But he was the strongest of our family . He 'd showed no signs of poisoning , although his weight began to drop after weeks with little food . Jonathan 's friends Stosh and Joey , part of his tight clique since elementary school , had been in the garage too . After the cloud , I had made each one shower and scrub and throw away the clothes they had been wearing , giving them some of Jonathan 's clothes from the dryer instead . Stosh had walked home to find his parents dissolved in their car , parked in the driveway . Joey 's mother had never been heard from again . The town 's two pharmacists were dead or missing . Looters had already broken in and stolen all the mind - altering drugs from the drugstores on Main Street , and I didn 't want to see the antibiotics go to waste . The boys had nodded with guilty glee . I left Joy 's house , and checked carefully for marauders before I walked the 50 feet to my door . In the far distance , there was a crash like thunder , followed by a rolling , rolling sigh . I knew it was not thunder . It was another tree . When the sound had stopped reverberating , I heard a faint , exquisite melody . Joy , her apron still spattered with blood , up on the second floor , sitting at Mr . Talman 's bedside , playing Mozart . Eine Kleine Nachtmusik . A little night music . I had to step around a dead body on the sidewalk , which had been decomposing for several days now . An elderly woman , I thought , as I passed , holding my breath against the stench . All of Garden Grove smelled that way . Eventually , the living had almost stopped noticing . As I turned into my doorway , I noticed I was not alone . At the entrance to the alley , a man stood , his back to me . He was smoking a cigarette . I stared at him in disbelief , and he turned and grinned a gap - toothed grin , acknowledging the unusual moment . There had been no cigarettes in Garden Grove for months now . I quit smoking five days after the cloud , when the last of my rationed smokes ran out . So did everyone else in town . The man was clutching a whole red and white pack of Marlboros , and gleefully waved them at me . I didn 't even ask where he found them . I gratefully pulled one from the pack , pressed the tip to his lit cigarette , and inhaled deeply . The pungent smoke touched a place deep in my lungs that had longed for that special caress . I climbed the trellis to my rooftop , one shaky step at a time . Walking was harder every day now , and climbing was hardest of all . The Marlboro had made me dizzy and giddy . But the rooftop was the only place I could get word from Jonathan . I hadn 't been up there for many weeks . The sky was black and silent , but sounds floated up from the street , people sobbing , swearing , glass breaking . It was always like that at night . I crouched low , until I could smell the still - sunwarmed black asphalt under my ragged Nikes , not wanting to be seen . I peered inside the wire coop . Nothing . Just the faint odor of old feathers and droppings , and a handful of seeds scattered undisturbed , in the same configuration as when I first dropped them . " I 'll send you messages this way , " he had said . " Check the coop to see if they 're back yet . Look for a blue capsule attached to a bird 's leg , like this . And when they get back , don 't forget to throw in some seed and change their water once in a while . " The boys had hatched a plan . Stosh and Joey had built the raft of PVC pipe and nylon cord , available for free now at the Kerner 's Tru Value hardware store . The perimeter of the raft was ringed with plastic milk jugs half - filled with clean well water . They could replace the drinking water with river water , as they traveled , to keep the raft stable . The highways were far too dangerous , they had decided - but April had been dry , and the river was at the bottom of a steep ravine . It was almost a straight shot through to the next state . Maybe there was still civilization there , maybe fuel . Maybe food . They had known there would be places where trees had fallen across the river , blocking the path . " You might have to portage at some points , " I 'd warned them . " You might have to drag some dead branches out of the way . " The raft was lightweight and waterproof and strong . They could sleep on it , taking turns to keep watch for marauders . They could travel for a few weeks like that , living on the canned food I had held back out of the community can collection . " I 'm on a diet , " Stosh added . The other two had punched him good - naturedly . This was an adventure for them . At 17 , they were too full of life to die , just yet . Jonathan had let me hug him for a long time , pressing my face against the flannel of his shirt , once more before he left . We 'd both known it might be the last time ever . But the boys had been eager to set forth and save the world . I had always known I would have to let him go some day . And I 'd known I couldn 't keep him safe at home - no one could , with so few days of food left . After a sleepless night , I had decided to let him go . His odds were not good either way . He had already lost so much weight . He might as well go down fighting , I 'd thought , before he became a walking shade like everyone else in Ghost Town Grove . The first pigeon had arrived back home just nine days after the boys left . Inside the blue capsule was a message , scribbled in Jonathan 's cramped handwriting . " We are fine . Looks like lights up ahead . We will be careful . " My hands had begun to shake , reading that message . What people ? Healthy people who heard about Garden Grove 's plight and had decided to try to get help through ? Or hungry , desperate people who would murder the naive boys in their sleep , to steal their remaining rations ? For the next several nights , I 'd climbed to the roof and sat hunched in the darkness next to the empty coop , scanning the skies for the sight of a pigeon . Nothing . Planes no longer flew overhead . It must have been a very wide cloud . I 'd cooked the pigeon there on a spit . I was so hungry . Joy would have no part of the greasy meat . My body had reacted badly the next day , unable to digest the bird . I knew when I looked at the remaining Vicodin pills , and decided to give them to Joy , to help her ease someone 's suffering , instead of ending my own . She had known as I handed them over that it was my last day . She allowed me the dignity of not having to say a real goodbye . I thought of Joy , and how she would carry on . Not forever , because her own strength was fading fast . But she would survive me . As children should survive their parents . I walked the path up Lookout Mountain , smiling faintly at the way we still called the stubby glacial ridge a mountain . Dust under my feet turned from gray to blue - green , as I got closer to the central contamination site . Just a few people stirring . A woman sitting in a pit , crying , praying . There was a boulder at the edge of the pit . I set my camp chair there , leaning against the warm pink granite , and rummaged through my bag of provisions . My wool shawl , my old harmonica , a canteen of well water , a picture of my children years ago smiling from the window of their tree house . A book , Walden Pond , because of the courage , the beautiful imagery . Thoreau 's words seemed the right note to end upon . I would not lie down in the chemicals of my own free will . I didn 't know if it was painful . I didn 't want to know . Meanwhile , I would sit in the gentle spring sun , inches above the contamination , smile at my memories , listen to the river coursing by , and be at peace . I had tried . I had done all that I could do . Behind her , five rafts , made of PVC pipes lashed together , were tied end to end , forming a long barge . The rafts were piled high ; under the clear plastic tarps , I could see boxes of what look like bananas , canned food , toilet paper , boxes marked with red crosses . A lithe , sunburnt figure with a recognizable face stood at the fore of the first raft . Stosh . February 16 , 2009 at 3 : 01 · Filed under Slice of life columns It was almost midnight . At the far end of the party , a large dance studio stood empty . Someone had turned down the lights and turned up the World Music . Strong African rhythms vibrated just beneath our breastbones and sent tendrils down the backs of our legs . One by one , people wandered in and stared at the empty dance floor . Colored lights flashed in lonely rainbows . And then a woman with a long , dancer 's body and fuzzy , brown hair walked out to the middle of the room . She half - closed her eyes , and bit her lower lip , listening . We watched as her hips began to move , ever so slightly , until her lower body had established a subtle , complex circular pattern . In another moment , the pattern had swept her feet into the act . And she began to dance . Her long arms hung loose at first , her fingers tapping an imaginary drum skin . And then her arms , too , were drawn into the dance . She swayed and stepped to the throb of the conga drums . The circle of rhythm surrounding her became magnetic , pulling those who watched closer and closer . Another woman , wearing a leotard and a flowing skirt , strode confidently out onto the floor ; she positioned herself a few feet from the first dancer , and picked up her rhythm . She was a little more aggressive in style . Her feet rose higher and stamped down with more authority . " This , this rhythm ! " her body said . The first dancer smiled and spun , her arms painting curved patterns in the air . More people were entering the room now , and all along the walls , women began to remove their shoes . Within moments , six more women had taken the floor , and then ten more . As newcomers crowded the doorway , the barefoot women danced their patterns , with smiles that were at first shy and then became euphoric . " I don 't dance , " I murmured to my daughter . I have always been body - shy and clumsy - not a confident physical being . I 'm certainly not a dancer . But this time , I didn 't let myself think . I wanted to feel what the dancers felt . Overtaken by some unknown courage , I shook off my jacket and walked out onto the dance floor . I stood , surrounded by a swirl of skirts and limbs and smiles , feeling the rhythm . I saw how they did it , their hips leading the way . I felt my left hip swing forward in a little circle , pulled by the timbali 's loud bong . Then my right hip described its own circle in response , exactly on the snare 's high snap . Bong snap , bong bong , snap . I let my hips move loosely now from side to side , my palms pressed against my thighs . The movement felt good , smooth , like my heart beating . I lifted my arms and let them move , too . The music pounded and popped . Instinct flexed my knees and drew my hips around in circles , and soon my feet were moving , sliding in joyful cadence . The drums pushed me back and I danced forward to meet them , again and again . The music spoke of green leaves and humid air on warm brown skin , impossibly tall trees and a high , luminous moon . We were tropical , sub - Saharan , tribal , primitive , and beautiful beneath that moon . Some of the men at the party were pulled in by this energy , but they stood apart from us , leaning against the walls , smiling in amazement . Some of our husbands were out there . These men were witnessing what a woman could be , I thought . I looked across my shoulders one at a time and shrugged to the beat of the music . We began to dance each other 's moves . I saw a woman who appeared to be stretching her arms out toward an imaginary lover , and I let my arms do the same . Another turned around slowly , led by one softly gyrating hip , and I began to spin . A cloud of warm scent rose from our bodies , soap and perfume and shampoo mingling with the floor polish beneath us and cigarette smoke wafting in from just outside the door . The fragrance affirmed us and intoxicated us . Something extraordinary was taking place . We breathed together in time with the drums ' pervasive chant , we smiled , we twirled . This was female energy at its most primal level . We were not just dancing , we were women dancing . I looked across the floor at our bare feet . There was something sensuous about the skin of our soles touching and releasing that polished wood , our toes caressed by gravity and then pulling free of it . But this was not an act of striving toward pleasure - it was pleasure itself , achieved , shared , and reveled in . I felt my body reach the wall of physical limitation and then soar over that wall . I needed oxygen . I kept dancing . I knew I must slow down . But I could not slow down . The rhythm pushed and I pushed back , and I could not stop my left hip from meeting the timbali , my right from greeting the snare . My own daughter , who was a young teenager right at the leading edge of womanhood , watched as I danced to her again and again , trying to motion her to her feet . The raw energy of the dance embarrassed her at first , I think . Neither of us had ever seen anything like it . But a moment later , she found her courage , and there she was , dancing in front of me , smiling broadly , her own body pulled and pushed by the drumbeats . Our moves were graceful , honest , and unapologetic . Our bodies felt the same . A Kindergarten - aged girl ran over to her dancing mother and watched us , enthralled and delighted . She was inspired by our grace , as we were by her unbridled enthusiasm . She jumped and let her limbs fly wildly . Our limbs drew wider arcs in response . My daughter seemed to fall into a trance , following intricacies beyond description with her feet , her hands , her hips . She had become an elfen spirit . The brown - haired woman who had first taken the floor had transformed into a Maori warrior . And me … sometimes I was a Flamenco dancer , one arm crooked up , the other palm resting on my belly . Sometimes I was a tribal princess , dipping down , letting my hips pull my torso forward to punctuate the end of a rhythm phrase . The mirrors along the far wall showed swaying bodies and bare , flashing limbs . We were the many fingers of a supreme being , undulating and beckoning . I was exhausted , my breath ragged , my hands and feet tingling , but I could not stop dancing . My body had become a long , flexible stalk , loose , moving in time . A light blanket of sweat covered my skin and the air felt suddenly chilly , but so much heat pounded out through my heart , I was ablaze within the icy room . I reached up to push my damp hair back , and even that became a part of the dance . Every gesture , every movement was a comment on the music . I tried to slow down and breathe more deeply , to feel the exhilaration of dancing beyond my own limits , beyond all reason . The air felt thick with joy and scent and sound . The tiny girl spun and spun until her mother had to pick her up to still her frenzy . I reached out to my daughter , and together we moved , still in time to the rhythm , but dancing now toward our shoes and chairs and rest . The music pulsed on . It was after midnight now . While we had danced , one day had transformed into the next . We were secret goddesses who had created the new day with our shared celebration of drum and spirit and heartbeat , dancing to the pulse of life . The hospital had already picked up Bertha . But Shorty , the little tank , had accompanied Dad everywhere - to doctor 's appointments , haircuts , trips to the car wash - for five years . It was Dad 's security blanket , his walking stick , his constant companion … and it was just so hard for me to let it go . It has taken me a while to adjust to my father 's death . For three days after he died , I didn 't sleep or eat . I couldn 't think of anything except how much it hurt . I restlessly walked around the back aisles of stores , looking at jack handles and lug nuts , craft supplies and frozen foods . I drove through a few stop signs . But the clock ticked , and life carried me forward . There was numbness , but also the cycle of grief - denial , anger , bargaining , acceptance - spinning through me again and again . I cried like an orphan . I felt like one . Instead , it felt as if the person I had spent so much time protecting was suddenly beyond my reach , pulled from my care . His absence was unimaginably heavy and painful . It left me in a panic , exhausted and desperate . It did not feel like relief . Dad was a man generally displeased with life , who stubbornly refused to acknowledge that it 's a cruel , crazy , beautiful world after all . He was angry about the way he had to suffer . Despite my tender care , he said he thought the world was a bad place , life was a bad deal , and death would be eternal nothingness . Shorty hung around with me as I struggled to cope , as I tried to take care of the details . I dropped Dad 's reading glasses in the collection box at the bank . I talked to the library about taking some of his old books about stage illusion magic . I guess I couldn 't quite surrender the last of Dad 's things because … I just missed him so much . I missed being able to ask him questions about how to set the small things right : how to fix the refrigerators ' thermostat , and when to change my oil , and how to get the rear fender off my bike . He always knew these things ; it was the bigger issues of life that weighed him down . My father would never swim with us on family vacations . Just before he died , he explained why : When he was about 10 years old , at a swimming pool in Chicago , he had gotten turned around underwater . He began swimming for the bottom instead of the surface as he ran out of breath , because both were tiled in identical black - and - white . He said he would never forget the way it felt to be able to breathe again , when a lifeguard pulled him into the air . Dad wanted his obituary to ask people to take care of their lungs . It did , and I will say it here again : Life is short and breath is precious . Tobacco 's toxic fumes will eventually pull you under to an agonizing , suffocating death . Yet I have to believe Dad was wrong about this world , this life . It 's not a bad place , not a bad deal . I know this because - he was my father . Surely he would never leave me here to face such a world without him . December 11 , 2008 at 3 : 01 · Filed under Slice of life columns My friend hated his job so much , he switched to part time . Then he dropped down to just two shifts a week . And now he hates it even more . Oh , no . With my wife 's income and our investments , we make plenty to keep afloat . And of course , our retirement accounts are pretty plump . But I don 't feel I can retire NOW . Not when they 're willing to pay me all that money to do almost nothing … I 've heard of " Golden Handcuffs " - being stuck in a job you hate just because you can 't make as much money anywhere else . But my friend has something different . I call it an " Elephant Bracelet . " When young elephants are trained , they 're chained by one leg to a post , to keep them from wandering off every night . After a few years , they 'd be strong enough to break the flimsy chain , but they don 't , because they 're used to it . By the time they 're adults , they don 't need to be chained to anything . They just wear a chain as a bracelet , and it makes them want to stand by the post every night , as if they were bound to it . My friend had never heard of this , but he did tell me a similar story about house flies . Apparently , if you keep a house fly in a large , empty pickle jar , after three days you can remove the lid and the fly will not leave . By then , it 's hit its head on the jar lid so many times , it knows better than to even try to fly upward . I asked my friend what he did in his five days off each week , and he told me what I 'd feared : he spends them dreading the upcoming two - day shift . So that job 's not really taking up just two days a week . It 's ruining all seven . Then I asked him what he would like to do , if he had the choice to do anything in the world . Sadly , he couldn 't think of anything . And I 've been in that place myself . My friend , before he got this job he hates , used to work at the worst job I 'd ever heard of . He showed up for duty every day in the sub - basement of a state penitentiary , where he had to draw blood from angry , disrespectful inmates and test them for STDs . Yikes . So his current job seems like a dream world compared to that . The prisoners had it better than him , he used to say . They 'd get out in the fresh air for a while every day , they got to eat three hot meals , and they had people to talk to . Sure , they had to sleep in cells - but he went home to a lonely , one - room studio apartment that wasn 't much bigger , for which he had to pay $ 600 a month . But there was a big difference between them , I reminded him . At least the prisoners spent time dreaming of what they 'd do when they got free . They knew their chains , however heavy , would eventually come off . This kept their dreams alive . My friend 's Elephant Bracelet , on the other hand , won 't come off . He could walk straight away from the post , or fly straight upward into the night , if he wanted to . But he 's forgotten why he would want to . Uncle Buddy was known as the black sheep in my father 's family , the oldest and most problematic of the three scruffy boys . While my father had been the pampered baby - his mother still dressing him in pinafores and long curls until he started school - and the middle brother was a sad - faced stutterer who fled home at after junior high , Uncle Buddy , the oldest , seemed to have been born with a larger - than - life panache . So when people called him a black sheep , they said it with a certain degree of admiration . Whenever I was home , I got to overhear tales about Uncle Buddy 's adventures . He was a wheeler - dealer , although he might have also had a real job . No one could tell , because he had credentials for everything . I remember the Christmas he showed up at my grandmother 's house smelling of Irish whiskey and handing out $ 50 bills , proudly asking people to appreciate his diseased liver . I had to reach up over my head with my little fingers , but I wanted to feel it , too . It didn 't surprise me . I wouldn 't have been surprised to learn that all his internal organs were made of concrete . Later that day , he told me to reach into his jacket pocket . Sometimes there was a piece of candy in there , sometimes a quarter . This day , I pulled out a huge diamond . It was made of glass , of course , but its stunning size - it barely fit in my fist ! - made it more valuable to me than a real gem would have been . He let me admire the diamond for a while , holding it up to the light coming through my grandmother 's bay windows , and then told me to pass it to my shy , older sister . We exchanged jealous looks . Was it our diamond to keep ? Hers or mine ? In fact , Uncle Buddy ended up handing the giant faux gem to his own daughter , who barely seemed impressed . She was a little older than my sister and I , and more familiar with her father 's shenanigans . He bought her a life - sized taxidermy rocking horse once , a huge , creepy thing with glass eyes . It took up most of the only bedroom in their tiny , third - floor apartment . Uncle Buddy was great with larger - than - life gestures . But he wasn 't the kind of dad who showed up for graduations or helped his family pay the rent . The stories about Uncle Buddy got wilder as the years went by . Some people told his wife , the long - suffering but glamorous Dorothy , that Buddy had another wife and child somewhere . We could all see how that was possible , what with his long periods of time out of town and his alternate identities . Then we heard that he had been shot , and had refused medical treatment , choosing instead to hole up in one of those no - tell motels on Mannheim Road with a gangrenous leg and his cement liver . And then we learned that he was dead . It seemed hardly possible that this huge , charismatic man was gone , but he was . He lay in his casket seeming to smirk , his ruddy cheeks gone gray and white , made entirely of stone now . He had lived under so many identities that the little marquee out in the funeral parlor hallway had him listed as four different people . Two of his other wives collided with poor Aunt Dorothy in the front row . I was still too young to grasp the importance of their angry shrieks . My father inherited Uncle Buddy 's estate , a strange collection of jewelry and pistols , playing cards , a matador 's cape , and some Italian suits with giant shoulders . My father sawed the guns apart and dumped the pieces into a secret space behind a bricked - up fireplace in his old Chicago apartment , on the day he moved out . Who knew what those guns had done , whom they might have killed ? The brick apartment building still stands on the same corner , so the gun pieces are probably still in the walls . One of the items in Uncle Buddy 's jewelry collection was an engagement ring . Family folklore was that he 'd smuggled it back from overseas after World War II , intending to give it to his bride . He evidently never gave it to any of his brides . When his only child was born , he promised to give it to her - but he never lived to see her come of age . Instead , my father gave the ring to me in the early 1980s , because I was engaged to marry a rock musician who was too poor to buy me a diamond . The ring seemed ostentatious , but I wore it to my job as a doctor 's receptionist anyway . Patients who noticed it undoubtedly thought it was fake . Then , one day , my cousin walked into the doctor 's office . I hadn 't seen her in almost 20 years . This was the little girl with the life - sized rocking horse , only now she was grown up and wearing my face . It was eerie to see someone who looked so much like me , eerie for both of us . We stared at each other for a moment . And then she said , " Give me the goddamned ring . " I hesitated , of course . I didn 't remember her as being that tough . Maybe she 'd been practicing on the drive over . However , she had me dead to rights , and I was at work , and there were patients in the waiting room . " It 's the only thing I 'll ever get from that bastard , " she said . I pulled the ring off my finger and handed it over the doctor 's counter , and she snatched it a little too hastily and slid it onto her own ring finger . It was a perfect fit , of course . We had identical hands . It was just after my fourth birthday , and I had been in the hospital for three months . Doctors had told my mother I would probably die . I didn 't know what dying meant , but if it would get me out of the hospital , I was ready for it . Gifts from my family lay at the foot of my hospital bed , unopened , among the new picture books and sad , deflating balloons . That night , I heard a man arguing with the nurses outside my room . He said he was a specialist from out of town , and he needed to see me right away . A giant silhouette appeared in the doorway . It was Uncle Buddy , wearing a doctor 's white jacket and carrying a clipboard . Maybe he 'd just wanted to see if he could get away impersonating a doctor . He sat next to my bed for an hour that night , reading to me from my picture books . He said he could tell I was smart , like my father . He said I wasn 't going to die - that I was going to grow up and be a smart gal . Coming from this giant of a man , about whom everything and nothing was real , those words felt rock - solid and true . When I told my parents the next day , they smiled at my imaginative tale . Uncle Buddy hadn 't been seen for weeks , they said . But I knew what I 'd seen . I could remember what he 'd said and the reassuring bulk of his presence , sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed . I can remember it even now . One detail of this memory has convinced me that it wasn 't a fever dream . It made no sense to me at the time - but when Uncle Buddy left my hospital room that winter morning , just before dawn , he didn 't check out with the nurses . He didn 't walk away down the hall , like my other doctors . On this day , Mrs . Weinstein asked us to wait for a surprise . She brought out a dusty white box of Fannie Mae candy . Her eyesight had never been good , I can only hope that , in the dim room , she missed the look of horror on our faces when she lifted the candy box lid and several Chicago - style cockroaches climbed out . My sister shot me a wide - eyed look , then daintily took a chocolate from the box . I removed one as well - the pink peppermint , which was my usual favorite , when not covered with insect droppings . We both smiled and said thank you . I shouted " Thanks ! " and bolted down the stairs , Eileen on my heels . When we got outside , I tossed the box to her , afraid of what might crawl up my arm . She tossed it back to me . |
Scripts are basic guidelines for translation and recording into other languages . They should be adapted as necessary to make them understandable and relevant for each different culture and language . Some terms and concepts used may need more explanation or even be replaced or omitted completely . Script Text Who was Jesus Christ ? When was he born and what did he do ? Where did he come from ? To answer these questions we must go to the book called the Bible . Everything we need to know about Jesus and about God is written in the Bible . The Bible teaches us about the beginning of time . Listen carefully while you look at pictures 1 to 14 . You will learn why and how Jesus Christ came to the earth . Every time , when you hear the music , you must turn to the next picture . ( Music bridge ) In the beginning , before time began , God existed . He was always there . Jesus Christ existed with God . Jesus shows us perfectly who God is . The Bible is God 's Holy Book , where God 's will for man is written . Everything we need to know about Jesus and God is written in the Bible . The Bible also calls Jesus the Light of the world . This is because he shows those who believe in him , the way to God . Jesus gives all who believe in him , eternal life with God . We just said that Jesus was with God in the beginning . He created everything in the universe . He created all the animals and the people in this world . The first man was called Adam and the first woman was called Eve . At that time there was no sickness or death in the world . There was no murder , no crime , no robberies , no pain and no hurt . Everything was good , just like God had created it . God put Adam and Eve , the first man and woman , in a beautiful garden . God planted the garden himself . There were all kinds of good fruit to eat . There was only one tree in the middle of the garden that God told the man and woman not to eat from . Adam and Eve trusted God and obeyed him . But one day Satan came to Adam and Eve in the form of a snake . Satan was one of God 's creatures . But he had turned against God who is good , because he wanted to be like God . And He also wanted to turn Adam and Eve against God . He told them a lie about the fruit God told them not to eat . And instead of believing God , they believed Satan 's lie and decided to eat of the forbidden fruit in the middle of the garden . Satan succeeded in persuading the humans to disobey God and to act against his good will for their life . Through this wrong act Adam and Eve became sinners . Sinners are people who do not obey God . Adam and Eve stopped believing God 's words and in his good will for their life . The relationship between them and God was broken , because they chose to turn against his command and truth . God sent Adam and Eve away from the beautiful garden where they had lived so far . Everything on earth changed drastically ; life became hard and full of problems . Sorrow , pain , robbery , murder , sickness and death came into the world . And from that time on , all people that were born lived without God and his will . So everyone lived according to Satan 's way and his plans . But God always loved the people . He created them . So he made a plan to save all people from Satan 's wicked lies that were never good for mankind . In the mean time there were more and more people on the earth . They forgot that God even existed , that he cared for them , and that he only wanted what is best for them . Therefore most people thought bad thoughts and did bad things because they did not know a better way . However , there was one man among them who knew God and obeyed him . This man 's name was Abraham . Abraham and his wife Sara were already very old and they still could not have any children . You can see Abraham in this picture . It shows that one night God spoke to Abraham and said , " Look up at the heavens and ( try to ) count the stars . Your descendents ( offspring ) will be just as many as there are stars in the sky . " God also promised Abraham that through his descendents ( offspring ) all people on the earth will be blessed . Blessed here means they will be happy because they will be in the right relationship with God again . Abraham became very , very old before he died . Many years after this his son , and later his son 's children lived and died . And after many years their children and their children 's children lived and died . And even many years after that , God one day sent an angel , one of his messengers from heaven where he lives , to the earth to the land of Israel . First the angel went to the city of Jerusalem . Jerusalem was the capital - city ( main city ) of Israel . There was a huge temple in this city . The temple was the main place where the people who believed in God , went to pray to God . In this temple there was a priest with the name Zechariah . Zechariah and his wife , just like Abraham and his wife Sarah , could not have children . But one day while Zechariah was praying in the temple , the angel of God came to Zechariah and told him , " Do not be afraid . Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son , and you must give him the name John . He will make you very happy and many people will find joy through his life . Your son will have an important job to do for God . The Holy Spirit of God will be with him from the moment he is born . " Everything happened just like the angel told Zechariah . John was born and grew up to become an important prophet in the service of God in the country of Israel . A prophet is a person through whom God gives important messages to people . A few months after the angel had spoken to Zechariah , the same angel appeared to a young girl in Israel . Her name was Mary . She had never slept with a man . The angel said to Mary , " You will give birth to a son , and you must give him the name Jesus . The Holy Spirit of God will come upon you ; so the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God . " At that time Mary was engaged to a man called Joseph . He was a descendent of Abraham . Joseph was a good man . When he discovered that Mary was pregnant , he decided not to marry her anymore . But the angel of God appeared to Joseph in a dream and said , " Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife , because the baby in her is from the Holy Spirit of God . She will have a son , and you must give him the name Jesus , because he will save his people from their sins . " The name Jesus means " Saviour " . A Saviour rescues one out of danger . So Joseph took Mary as his wife . They travelled to a town ( village ) called Bethlehem , because that is where Joseph 's family came from . There were many people in Bethlehem at that time . Joseph and Mary could not find a place to stay . They had to spend the night in an animal stable , and while they were there , Jesus was born . In the fields outside Bethlehem there were shepherds . They were looking after their sheep . Suddenly an angel appeared to them . He said , " Do not be afraid . I bring you good news that will make you very happy and it is for all people . Today in the town ( village ) of Bethlehem a Saviour was born ; he is Christ the Lord . This will be a sign to you . You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in an animal stable . " Immediately the shepherds went into Bethlehem . And there they found the baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph , just as the angels had told them . Those shepherds were uneducated people , but they realised that Jesus was a very special baby , so they praised God for him , because they were very glad . Mary and Joseph took the baby Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem . They went to thank God for this baby and to present ( or dedicate ) the baby to God . Do you remember that the temple was the main place where people went to pray to God ? There was an old man called Simeon in the temple . Simeon believed God 's promise to send a Saviour into the world to save all who believe in him . Simeon was looking forward to this . When Simeon saw Jesus in the temple , he took him in his arms and prayed the following words to God , " With my own eyes I 've seen what you have done to save your people , and foreign nations will also see this . Your mighty power is a light for all nations , and it will bring honour to your people Israel . " There was also an old prophetess called Anna in the temple . Anna also saw Jesus in the temple . She went and told people that this child had come to save them . Simeon and Anna both knew that Jesus was the Christ whom God had promised . Christ means " anointed one " or " chosen one " . Anointed means " set apart for God " . Some wise men travelled to Israel from a very far country . They asked everywhere , " Where is the baby who has been born as king of the Jews , the people of Israel ? We saw his star in the east and have come to honour him / show respect to him . " The wise men followed the star to Bethlehem and there they found Jesus . They gave him gifts and worshipped him . The man who was king of Israel at that time , was called Herod . He was very jealous when he heard about the wise men 's visit to Jesus , especially because they said Jesus was born as king of the Jews , the people of Israel . Herod wanted to kill Jesus . But an angel of God warned Joseph about this in a dream . So Joseph took Mary and the baby and fled to a country called Egypt . There they stayed until king Herod died . Only then they returned to Israel . They went to live in a town ( village ) called Nazareth . Every year Joseph and his whole family travelled to the city of Jerusalem . They went to attend a feast at the temple in honour of God or to show God how thankful the people of Israel were for what God had done for them in the past . The feast was called the Passover Feast . Jesus knew that God was his heavenly Father , but no one else understood this . Jesus grew up to be a man and more and more people were pleased with the way he lived . God was also very pleased with him . ( " And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature , and in favour with God and men . " - original quote ) Many years before Jesus was born , God already promised the people of Israel that he would send someone to the earth called the Christ , to save them . God did this by giving them messages through the prophets . The Christ would have power over Satan , sin and death . The Christ would heal the sick , would care for the poor and needy and he would do many wonderful signs and wonders . Let us look at pictures 15 - 32 to find out more about all the miracles Jesus did . Do you remember the old priest named Zechariah who had a son called John ? Well , John grew up to be a great prophet in Israel . He lived in the desert . Many people went there to listen to what he had to say . He told them , like the prophets before him , that God would send someone to save them . He also warned them to prepare themselves for the Saviour 's coming and to turn from their evil ways . Evil ways are bad or wrong ways . Many believed John 's message . They were baptised in the river named the Jordan . Baptism was a sign ( showed ) that they decided to turn away from their old ways of life and start learning and living the way God wants them to live . One day when John was baptising people in the river , Jesus came to him . Jesus did not need to turn from sin , because Jesus never sinned . However , Jesus still wanted John to baptise him in the river . In the picture you can see how John baptised Jesus . As Jesus came up out of the water , the Holy Spirit of God came down upon Jesus in the form of a dove . A voice from heaven spoke and said , " This is my son , whom I love . With him I am very pleased . " After John baptised Jesus , the Holy Spirit of God led Jesus into the desert . There Jesus prayed and did not eat for 40 days . He did this to prepare for the future work he had to do on earth . Then Satan came to Jesus in the desert to tempt him . He also told lies to Jesus , just like he told lies to Adam and Eve in the garden in the beginning . Satan wanted Jesus to listen to his lies and to sin just like Adam and Eve did , because Satan wanted to stop Jesus from doing the work he came to do on earth - that is , saving people from sin and death . Three times Satan tried to make Jesus ( persuade Jesus to ) listen to him and obey his lies , but Jesus knew God and his will perfectly . Jesus responded to every lie of Satan by quoting words from the Bible , God 's Holy Book , where God 's will for man is written . These words are the truth and they proved that everything Satan speaks are lies and can 't be trusted . Jesus knew this ; therefore Satan had no power over Jesus . After a while Satan left Jesus and went away . After this , Jesus went to Galilee in the north of the land of Israel . There he went to a wedding feast with his mother and some of his disciples . Disciples were followers of Jesus . They believed in Jesus and everything he taught , and they wanted to obey his teachings . Anyway , at this wedding feast it happened that there was not enough wine for the wedding guests . Then Jesus said to the servants , " Fill the jars with water . " The servants did as he told them . He then said to them , " Now pour some out and take it to the master of ceremonies ( of the banquet ) . " When the master in charge of the wedding feast tasted the water , he found that it had changed into the very best wine and there was enough for all the guests . This was the first miracle that Jesus did . It showed that Jesus had amazing power . After his first miracle , Jesus began to do many more miracles . More and more people heard about these miracles that he did . Among these was an important religious leader called Nicodemus . When Nicodemus heard about Jesus , he went to Jesus one night in secret . Jesus taught Nicodemus many things that night . Jesus said , " I tell you the truth , no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born again . He must be born of water and the Holy Spirit of God . " The Holy Spirit shows people their sin and helps them to turn away from their old way of life and from Satan 's lies . They will start to live ( according to God 's will ) ( or to please God ) . Then they will know that Jesus saves all who believe in Him . Jesus travelled around and taught many people . One day Jesus was travelling when he became very tired . He sat down beside a well . A Samaritan woman came to the well to draw some water . Samaritans were not true Jews from Israel . They belonged to another people group who lived in the country of Samaria . Jesus also knew that she was a bad woman . She had already had 5 husbands and the man she lived with was not her husband . She was surprised when Jesus asked her to give him some water to drink . Jesus then also said to her , " You don 't know who I am . You should actually ask me to give you some living water . " Water cannot take away this thirst . The living water that Jesus offers , is the Holy Spirit . God will give his Holy Spirit to everyone who believes in Jesus . Jesus went back to Cana where he turned the water into wine . An important man from a nearby town ( village ) came to Jesus . The man 's son was very ill . He begged Jesus to come and heal his son who was close to death . Jesus did not go with the man to his home . Jesus only said to the man , " You may go . Your son will live . " At that very moment the man 's son became well . The people who heard about this , realised that Jesus also had power over sickness . One day Jesus saw four fishermen beside the lake of Galilee . Their names were Peter and Andrew , James and John . Jesus called to them and said , " Come , follow me , and I will make you fishers of men . " A big crowd of people gathered beside the lake , so Jesus told the fishermen to push one boat out into the water . Jesus sat in the boat and taught the people on the shore about God . Jesus finished teaching the people . Then he said to Peter , " Take the boat out into the deep water and let down the nets for a catch of fish . " Peter answered him , " Sir ( Master ) , we 've worked hard all night and haven 't caught anything . But because you say so , I will let down the nets . " They let down the nets and caught many fish . They had to call James and John in the other boat to come and help them . When they pulled the fishnets into the boats , the boats became so full that they nearly sank . Peter and his friends were all amazed . They pulled their boats up onto the shore , and started to follow Jesus everywhere he went . They became his disciples . Remember , disciples were followers of Jesus . They believed in Jesus and everything he taught , and they wanted to obey his teachings . In the town ( village ) of Capernaum , Jesus went into the local synagogue and taught the people about God . A synagogue was the local place where people went and listened to God 's Word and prayed to Him . The people were amazed because Jesus spoke with such authority . It means that he knew what he was talking about and the people easily believed him . While Jesus was speaking , a man with an evil spirit in him suddenly cried out , " What do you want with us , Jesus of Nazareth ? Have you come to destroy us ( harm us ) ? I know who you are - the Holy One of God ! " . Jesus knew there was an evil ( bad ) spirit in the man . Jesus spoke to the spirit in the man and said , " Be quiet ! Come out of him ! " The spirit had to obey Jesus . It gave a loud cry and then left the man . Through this miracle the people saw that Jesus also had power over spirits . From Capernaum Jesus went with his disciples to Peter 's house . Peter 's mother - in - law was very sick . She had a high fever . Jesus took her hand and helped her up . The fever left her ; she was healed and began to serve them ( give them something to eat ) . Many people started to bring sick people to Jesus . He healed them all and also sent many evil ( bad ) spirits out of people . Jesus continued to travel around the area called Galilee teaching about God and healing the sick . One such sick man had a bad disease called leprosy . The man begged Jesus to heal him . Jesus stretched out his hand and touched the man , and immediately the man was healed from his disease . More and more people followed Jesus everywhere he went . They wanted to hear everything he taught and some wanted Jesus to heal them . Sometimes it was hard for Jesus to enter the towns ( villages ) , so big were the crowds who gathered to see him . A few days later , the crowds heard that Jesus was teaching at a certain house in the town ( village ) of Capernaum . Among the listeners were also a number of the local religious leaders . There were also four men outside the house who desperately wanted to bring their paralysed friend to Jesus so that Jesus could heal him . But because of all the people gathering outside the house , the four men could not get to the door to go in . So they made a plan . You can see in the picture what they did . They made an opening ( a hole ) in the roof of the house . Then they lowered the paralysed man through the opening , down in front of Jesus . When Jesus saw that they believed in him , he said to the paralysed man , " Son , your sins are forgiven . " Then he said to the paralysed man , " I tell you , get up , take your mat and go home . " This man was also healed . The people were amazed , but the religious leaders said , " Who can forgive sins but God alone ? " But through this miracle Jesus showed that he had power to forgive sins . Jesus went out beside the lake . As he walked along , he saw a man called Matthew . Matthew was a tax collector . His job was to see that all the people in the country pay their taxes . The people hated tax collectors , because they often cheated and mistreated the people . But Jesus said to Matthew , " Follow me ! " Immediately Matthew got up , left everything and followed Jesus . Matthew invited all his friends to a great feast that he prepared for Jesus . Many of Matthew 's friends were dishonest tax collectors and really bad people . The religious leaders saw Jesus eating with these bad guys , so they asked his disciples , " Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners ? " Jesus heard this and said , " Healthy people do not need a doctor . Sick people do . I have not come to call people who are right with God . I have come to call sinners . " Jesus went to the capital city called Jerusalem . He saw a man who had been lame for 38 years . The man lay beside a certain pool that some believed was special . The man hoped the water in the pool could heal him . It was believed that only at certain times , the water could heal people . But the lame man could never get into the pool at the right time . Jesus said to the man , " Get up ! Pick up your mat and walk . " At once the man was healed ! Jesus worked this miracle on the special day of the week called the Sabbath . The Sabbath was the seventh day of the week when everyone rested from his or her work . It was a special day . However , the religious leaders had made many rules about the Sabbath . They even prevented people from helping others on the Sabbath because they said it was work . They did not care about poor people in need . So they were angry because Jesus had healed the paralysed man on the Sabbath day . On another Sabbath day Jesus and some of his disciples were walking in the fields . They picked some grain and ate it . Again the religious leaders accused them of breaking the laws about the Sabbath . Jesus said to them , " The Sabbath was made for man , not man for the Sabbath . " It means God wanted the Sabbath to be a day to rest , to pray and help other people . He didn 't want it to be a day of hardship and sorrow . From this the people learnt that Jesus was also Lord of the Sabbath . And Jesus is still the Lord of the Sabbath today . It means he rules over the Sabbath . We should set the day apart to honour and worship Him but be willing to use it in service to others also . On another Sabbath day there was a man at the local synagogue who had a withered hand . The religious leaders watched Jesus carefully . They wanted to see if he would also heal this man on the Sabbath . They wanted more reasons to accuse him of breaking their religious laws . Jesus was very sad about the stubbornness of their hearts . Jesus said to the man with the withered hand , " Stretch out your hand , " and the people could see that his hand was completely healed . Then the evil leaders went out and made plans to kill Jesus . The people of Israel were amazed by all that Jesus did . They saw that he had great power , and so many people began to follow him and believe in him . However , the religious leaders of the day were jealous of him . They would not believe that he was the promised Christ , the anointed one or the chosen one from God . In the place called Galilee , Jesus spent one whole night in prayer to God . When the morning came , he chose 12 men whom he called apostles , from among his disciples . The 12 men Jesus chose to be apostles had to help him in the important business of teaching others what they had learnt from him . The word apostle means " sent one " . Jesus went with these apostles to where a large crowd of his disciples and people from all over the country had gathered to hear him . He sat down in an open place with his disciples and he taught them many things about the ways of God - how to learn to know God and to live according to his ways . Here are some of the things Jesus taught : No one hides a light under a basket . He puts it up where it gives light to everyone . Jesus said to his disciples , " You are the light of the world . Let your light shine where people can see it . Let them see the good things you do . But do not expect them to praise you . They should give praise to God , your Father , who is in heaven . " This he said because he ( Jesus ) was and still is the light of this world . When we follow and obey him , we carry his light in us . That 's why Jesus said to his disciples , " You are the light of the world . " His disciples get their light from him , the light , whom they follow . Jesus has nothing bad in him ; he is only good . His life shines like a bright light in a world full of darkness . Darkness represents all kinds of evil and sin , like violence , pride , theft and murder . If we live a good life by following Jesus and believing in him , our lives also shine like lights in this dark world . If our lives are different to all the evil in this world , people cannot help but see it . Jesus taught his disciples ( followers ) not to resist an evil person ( a person who looks for trouble ) . He said , " If someone strikes you on the right cheek , let him strike the other also . Love your enemies ; bless those who hate you . " God knows when people do wrong to us . He himself will judge evil people . He may judge them in this life or he will judge them after death . We do not have to take revenge on evil people . God wants us to love all people . Jesus said , " Do to others as you want them to do to you . " Some people are proud and like to show off . They want others to be impressed with them , even when they pray . Jesus found fault with people like that . He said , " When you pray , pray to your Father God , in secret . God sees what is done in secret and he will reward you . And when you pray , do not use many words or repeat the same thing over and over ; there are people who think they will be heard because of their many words . Do not be like them , for your Father knows what you need before you ask him . Here is an example of how you should pray : " Our Father in heaven , help us to honour your Name . Come and set up your kingdom , so that everyone on earth will obey you , as you are obeyed in heaven . Give us our food for today . Forgive our sins , as we forgive others . Keep us from being tempted and protect us from evil . " The second way is the narrow and difficult way . Only a few people find this way , but it is the way that leads to life with God forever . This is the way that Jesus came to show us . The teachings of Jesus are a strong foundation for our lives . Some people hear his teachings and obey him . Jesus said they are like a wise man that built his house on a rock foundation . Can you identify ( see ) the wise man in the picture ? When the flood came , his house stood firm . Other people hear Jesus ' words , but they do not obey them . Jesus said that they are like a foolish man who built his house on the sand . When the flood came , he lost everything because his house had no foundation . One day Jesus and his disciples went to a town ( village ) called Nain . A large crowd went along with them . On the way they met a funeral procession . The funeral was for the only son of a widow . Jesus understood her sorrow . He said to her , " Don 't cry . " Then he spoke to the dead boy . He said , " Get up ! " Immediately the young man sat up . He was alive again ! The people in the crowd were amazed and they told everyone about it . Through this miracle the people saw that Jesus also had power over death . Do you remember John the Baptist ? He was the one who announced that Jesus was coming . John persuaded many people to follow Jesus . But the wicked king of the country put John in prison , because John spoke out against the evil things the king and some of his family members were doing . While in prison , John heard what Jesus was teaching and doing . So John called for two of his friends . He sent them to Jesus with the question : " Are you really the one from God , or should we look out for another one ? " Jesus answered them in this way , " You have seen the miracles I 'm doing . Go back and tell John about them . Then he will be sure who I am . " Jesus added , " How happy are those who have no doubts about me ! " Later the king had John killed in prison , but John obeyed God to the end and Jesus said that John 's reward in heaven was great . Jesus was invited to eat at the house of a religious leader . A woman who was a prostitute came there to him . A prostitute is someone who sleeps with many different men for money ( has sexual relations with many different people for money ) . This woman began to wash Jesus ' feet with her tears , and poured perfume over them . The religious leaders could not believe that Jesus would allow this sinful woman to touch him . Then Jesus said to her , " Your sins are forgiven . " The woman meant well and showed her faith in Jesus by what she did , but the religious leaders hated him even more . One day Jesus was teaching many people beside the lake of Galilee . He told them about a farmer . The farmer went out to plant seeds . Some seeds fell on the path and the birds ate them . Some fell on rocky ground and when the sun was strong , they dried up . Other seeds fell among thorns . The thorns choked the seedlings . They could not grow properly . Other seeds fell on good , fertile ground . They grew and produced much grain . Jesus told many such stories with hidden meanings . These stories are called parables . He told about a man who sowed good wheat in his field . However , an enemy came at night and sowed weeds in the field among the wheat . When the plants grew and began to ripen , the farmer 's servants could see the weeds . So they came and asked the farmer , " Sir , didn 't you sow good seeds in your field ? Where did the weeds come from ? " " An enemy did this " , the farmer replied . So the workers asked him , " Do you want us to go and pull out the weeds ? " " No " , the farmer answered . " You might also pull out the wheat . Leave the weeds until harvest time . Then I 'll tell my workers : first gather the weeds and tie them up and burn them . Then gather the wheat and I will store it in a safe place . " In this parable Jesus is the One who sows the good seed . The field is the world , and the good seeds are the disciples of Jesus . The unwanted seeds are the bad people who do not believe in Jesus , but follow Satan 's ways . Satan is the enemy who sows them . The harvest time is the end time . The disciples of Jesus and the followers of Satan will live together on this earth until then . God 's children , the followers of Jesus , will be separated from the followers of Satan . All who do evil now , will be treated like weeds . They will be burned by fire . God 's children are like the wheat . God will take them to be with him forever . Jesus told another story about a man who found some treasure hidden in a field . He took the treasure and hid it again , so that no one else could find it . Then he went and sold everything he had , so that he could buy that field where he hid the treasure . Jesus said that the kingdom of God is like that treasure . If we are part of God 's kingdom , we will live with God forever , because we have chosen to believe in him and learn about him through what Jesus teaches . And this is worth more than anything else we have in this life . Jesus taught ordinary people about God . He knew God perfectly , so he taught the people with authority . He was not like the religious leaders of that day . Those leaders taught God 's laws , but they didn 't know or love God . They followed Satan 's ways . One day after Jesus had finished teaching , he told his disciples to take him across the lake in their boat . A great wind arose , and the water came into the boat . The disciples were terrified . They thought they were going to die . But Jesus said to the storm , " Quiet ! Be still ! " Immediately the wind ceased and the waves became calm . The disciples said , " Who is this ? Even the wind and the waves obey him ! " Jesus was showing them that he was also the Lord of the wind and the waves . After the wind and the waves became quiet , Jesus and his disciples came to the other shore of the lake . When Jesus got out of the boat , a man came running to him . This man had many evil spirits , that means bad spirits , also called demons in him . He was so wild that no one could tie him up . He fell on his knees in front of Jesus . Then Jesus commanded the evil spirits ( demons ) to leave the man . The evil spirits ( demons ) left and entered a herd of pigs nearby . The pigs rushed into the lake and drowned . The man went and told many people about the great thing that Jesus had done for him . Everyone learnt through the miracle that evil spirits had to obey Jesus , for he had stronger power than all of them together . Jesus went back to Capernaum , and a great crowd of people pressed around him . There was a sick woman in the crowd . For twelve years she had been sick with a bleeding problem . The woman thought , " If I just touch his clothes , I will be healed . " So she came up behind Jesus and touched his clothes . Immediately she was healed . She did not think that Jesus knew what she had done . But Jesus turned around and spoke to her , " Your faith has healed you . Go in peace . " That woman believed in Jesus and so she was healed . While Jesus was still speaking to the woman , one of the synagogue leaders came to Jesus . He told him , " My little daughter is dying . Please come and heal her . " Jesus went to the leader 's house , but the girl was already dead . Jesus sent everyone outside except for her parents and three of his disciples . Then Jesus took the dead child by the hand . He said to her , " Little girl , get up ! " Immediately the girl came to life again . She stood up and walked around and her family gave her something to eat . From this miracle everyone present saw that Jesus had power over death . One day Jesus called the 12 apostles he had chosen from amongst his disciples , together . We said before that the word apostle means " sent one " . The apostles were to specifically go and teach others what they 've learnt from Jesus . He gave them power to cast out evil spirits or demons and to heal the sick . Then he sent them into the country to preach about the kingdom of God . He said to them , " Do not take anything for your journey . If you go into a house , stay there until you leave . " He warned them that some people would not accept their message . So the apostles went from town ( village ) to town ( village ) healing the sick and telling people about the good news of Jesus who had come to show them the way back to God . The apostles returned from their journeys . They were all tired , so Jesus took them to a quiet place to rest . However , more than 5 000 people followed them . Jesus taught this crowd all day and at the end of the day the people in the crowd were getting hungry . The disciples said to Jesus , " Send the crowd away so they can go to the nearby towns ( villages ) to find food and a place to sleep for the night , because we are in a remote place . " Then Jesus replied , " You give them something to eat ! " One of the disciples , Andrew , then said to Jesus , " Here is a boy with 5 small loaves of bread and two small fish , but how far will they go among so many people ? " Jesus took that small amount of food and gave thanks to God . Then he fed all those people with the five loaves and the two fish . Everybody had enough and there were even 12 baskets of food left over . Then Jesus went away to a mountain to pray . His disciples went away in their boat . Late that night they were in the middle of the lake . The wind was blowing against them and the waters ( waves ) were rough . They were in danger . Then they saw Jesus . He was walking to them on the water ! The disciples were afraid . They thought they saw a ghost . But Jesus said , " It is I , don 't be afraid . " Then he got into the boat and the storm calmed . The disciples were amazed . They worshipped him saying , " Truly , you are the Son of God . " They crossed the lake and came to the other side . The next day the crowd who stayed on the other side of the lake , went searching for Jesus . Some wanted to crown ( make ) him king of the people of Israel . Because they found him on the opposite ( other ) side of the lake , they could not understand how he got there . They asked him , " Master , when did you get here ? " He answered , " You are not looking for me because you saw a miracle , but because you ate the loaves and were filled . Do not only work for food that can spoil . Food for the body can spoil , but seek food that keeps forever and gives eternal life . I will give you this food . " They asked him , " What must we do to please God ? " Jesus answered , " The work of God is this , to believe in the one he has sent . " Jesus said further , " I am the bread of life . He who comes to me , will never go hungry , and he who believes in me , will never be thirsty . I am the living bread that came down from heaven . If anyone eats of this bread , he will live forever . " Many people could not understand this teaching . Some were angry and said , " How could this man give us his flesh to eat ? " From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him . Jesus went to a region called Tyre where a different nation ( tribe ) lived . There a woman came to him . The woman had a little girl at home . There was an evil ( a bad ) spirit , also called a demon , in the girl . The woman begged Jesus to drive the spirit out of her child . Jesus said to her , " The evil spirit ( demon ) has left your daughter . " Immediately the evil spirit ( demon ) left that child even before the mother returned home . The disciples learnt something new through this miracle . That is : The woman whose child Jesus healed , was not a Jew . She was from another country . Jesus and his disciples were all Jews . Jesus went down to the Lake of Galilee , to an area called Decapolis . The people brought a deaf and dumb man to him . Jesus took the man aside , away from the crowd . He put his fingers into the ears of the man and he touched his tongue . Then he looked up to heaven and said with a deep sigh , " Be opened ! " Immediately the man could hear and speak . When people heard of this , more and more of them came to see Jesus . He healed more sick people and he fed another crowd in a miraculous way . This time there were about 4 000 people and Jesus had only seven loaves of bread and a few small fish . The people were amazed by all the things Jesus did . Jesus went to a place called Bethsaida . There some people also brought a blind man to him for healing . Jesus took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the town ( village ) . He touched his eyes and the man began to see a little . The man said , " I see people , they look like trees walking around . " Then Jesus touched his eyes again and then the man could see everything clearly . This was an important question . Had Jesus really come from God ? Had God sent him into the world ? Even though they were the disciples of Jesus , they found it hard to believe . Some of them thought that he was only a great prophet . Do you remember what a prophet is ? A prophet is someone through whom God gives important messages to warn them or to encourage them . But God showed Peter the truth . He understood it clearly . He said to Jesus , " You are the Christ ! You are the Son of the living God . " Yes , this is true . And do you remember what the word " Christ " means ? It means the anointed one or the chosen one . Jesus told the disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ . Jesus told his disciples why they had to keep it quiet for a while . He said , " I am going to be betrayed into the hands of men . They will kill me , and after three days I will rise to life . " The disciples did not understand this , and they could not believe it . A few days later Jesus took three of them to a mountain to pray . They climbed to the top , and as Jesus was praying , his face changed and started to shine like the sun before their eyes , and his clothes became very bright . Two prophets named Moses and Elijah , who had lived many , many years before , appeared with Jesus . They talked with Jesus about the suffering and death that was awaiting him . A bright cloud came over them all , and a voice from the cloud said , " This is my son ; with him I am well pleased . Listen to him . " The disciples fell face down ; they were afraid , but Jesus touched them and said , " Don 't be afraid . " When they looked up , they saw no one except Jesus . Jesus continued to teach them as they came down the mountain . When they came to the other disciples , they saw a large crowd around them . There was a man who brought his son to some of Jesus ' disciples . The boy had an evil ( a bad ) spirit , that is a demon , inside him . It caused him to have terrible fits . The disciples had tried to command / order the evil spirit ( demon ) to go out of the boy , but the evil spirit ( demon ) would not obey them . Jesus commanded the evil spirit to leave the boy . The boy was healed from that moment on . Jesus was the only one who had the power to do this . Jesus and his disciples went on to the town ( village ) called Capernaum . On their arrival , workers from the synagogue who collected temple tax came to Peter . They asked him , " Does your teacher pay the temple tax ? " In those days every family who attended the synagogue , the local place of worship , contributed what they called temple tax for covering some expenses . Peter answered the tax collectors , " Yes , he does . " When later Peter went into the house where Jesus and the disciples stayed , Jesus was the first to speak . He asked Peter , " From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes - from their own sons or from others ? " " From others , " Peter answered . Jesus said , " Then the sons shouldn 't pay tax . But so that we may not offend them , go to the lake and throw out your line . Take the first fish you catch , open its mouth and you will find a coin . Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours . " Jesus came to live on the earth to show us in a perfect way what God is like . Jesus was more than just a prophet . He came from God and he was the revelation of God himself . This is why he is called the Son of God . However , only his closest disciples realised and believed the truth about Jesus . Jesus continued to teach his followers . He taught them by telling stories called parables . These stories have hidden meanings . Only those who believe in him , can understand these stories . Pictures 61 - 78 show us more of these parables . They teach us things that are true about the kingdom of God and how we can become children of God . Come and listen to some of these parables . People always want to feel important . One day , the disciples asked Jesus , " Who is the greatest in the kingdom of God ? " Jesus called a little child to stand among them . He said , " I tell you the truth ; if you don 't change and become like little children , you will never enter the kingdom of God . Whoever humbles himself like this child , is the greatest in the kingdom of God . And he who welcomes a little child like this in my Name , welcomes me . " Jesus told his disciples a parable about a sheep . The story has a hidden meaning . One day a sheep became lost from its shepherd and the rest of the sheep . The shepherd cared about that sheep , so he left the other sheep , and went to search for the lost one . When he found it , he was very happy . This is the meaning of the story : God does not want to lose any one of his children . We are his children if we believe in him and obey his words . He loves each one of his children very much . If even one of his children is lost from him , he will search for that person until he finds him or her . One of the disciples asked Jesus this question , " How many times shall I forgive my brother when he does something wrong against me ? Up to 7 times ? " Jesus answered him , " I tell you , not 7 times , but 70 times 7 at least . Listen to this : " A poor servant owed his master a lot of money , but he could not pay it back . He did not have enough money . The master felt sorry for him and forgave him the whole debt . Then the servant went out and he met a fellow servant who owed him only a small amount of money . The servant grabbed his fellow servant and said , ' Pay back what you owe me ! ' But the fellow servant could not pay , so what do you think the servant did ? Did he forgive his fellow servant ? No ! He put him in prison . " But later the master heard what had happened . He was very angry with his servant , because this servant did not show pity on his fellow servant . The master then put this servant into prison . " Jesus said , " This is how my heavenly Father will treat each one of you unless you forgive other people from your heart . " Why ? It is because God has forgiven a great debt of sin to everyone who believes and follows him . Now also He expects every believer to forgive those who sin against them . One day Jesus was in the temple in Jerusalem . Do you remember that the temple was the main place where people worshipped and prayed to God ? There the religious leaders brought a woman to Jesus . They said , " Teacher , this woman was caught in the act of adultery . " Adultery here means she cheated her husband by having relations with another man . The religious leaders asked Jesus , " Now , what do you say ? " They wanted to stone her to death . But Jesus said , " Is there someone here who has not sinned and disobeyed God 's will for man ? Let that person throw the first stone at her . " One by one the religious leaders left the temple . Then Jesus asked the woman , " Woman , where are they ? Has no one condemned you ? " " No one , Sir " she said . Then Jesus answered , " Then neither do I condemn you . Go now , and stop your life of sin . " The religious leaders knew that they were sinners also , like anyone else , but they hated Jesus for saying it in public . As Jesus left the temple , he saw a man who was born blind . The disciples thought that the blindness had come because he or his family had sinned . Jesus did not agree . He said , " This man is not blind because of his sin and it is not because of his parents ' sin . This happened so that everyone can see the work of God in him . " Then Jesus healed the man and he saw clearly . The man went and told everyone how Jesus had healed him . But the religious leaders were even angrier than before . Jesus told a parable against the religious leaders . He said that they were like hired shepherds . Shepherds are people who look after sheep . A hired shepherd cares about his pay , but he does not care so much for the sheep , because he doesn 't own them . The religious leaders in Israel were like that . They did not care for God 's people , and they would not believe in Jesus , whom God had sent to teach the people and take away their sin . Jesus said , " I have come that my sheep may have life , and have it to the full . I am the good shepherd . I will give my life for my sheep . " Jesus also told them he is like the gate of the sheepfold . You can see that in the picture . Whoever enters through him , will be saved . The sheep are safe while the shepherd guards the gate . Jesus protects his people so that evil cannot come and destroy them . So the religious leader asked back , " And who is my neighbour ? " In reply Jesus said , " A man was travelling down a lonely road . Robbers attacked him and left him almost dead . Two religious Jews came along . They saw the injured man , but they did not help him . Then a man from another tribe came along the road . He felt sorry for the man . He stopped and took care of him . He cleaned his wounds and took him to a safe place . From this parable we learn that those religious people did not show God 's love to the injured man . To be religious will not give anyone eternal life . Religion cannot make us love God and other people ; we have to understand that God loves us first and accept God 's love for us , and his forgiveness for our sin . Then we will be able to love God and also love all other people from all other nations and tribes , just like the foreigner loved and felt pity for the injured man . In the picture we see Jesus visiting at the house of two sisters . Their names were Mary and Martha . Jesus was a friend of this family . Mary sat at Jesus ' feet . She wanted to hear everything he said . But Martha had much housework . She said to Jesus , " Lord , do you not care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself ? Tell her to help me ! " Jesus answered , " Martha , you are worried and upset about many things , but only one thing is needed . Mary has chosen something better , and it will not be taken away from her . " To know Jesus and his way is more important than the concerns of this life . " Father , help us to honor your Name . Come and set up your kingdom , so that everyone on earth will obey you , as you are obeyed in heaven . Give us our food for today . Forgive our sins , as we forgive others . Keep us from being tempted and protect us from evil . " A man went to his friend in the middle of the night . He called out , " Friend , lend me some loaves of bread . Another friend of mine has come to me , and I have nothing to give him . " The friend said , " Don 't bother me . The door is already locked and my family and I are in bed sleeping . I can 't get up now to give you anything . " However , the man kept knocking . So the friend got up out of bed and gave him what he needed . The friend in the parable took care of the need the man had . Even more certainly God hears his children if they continue to pray to him . He will also give his Holy Spirit to those who really seek him . Jesus warned people not to be greedy . He told a story about a rich man . The rich man was a farmer who owned ( had ) a lot of property . The land produced many food products to sell . So he built many store houses to keep all the produce . He said , " I have plenty for many years . I can take life easy . " But God said to him , " You fool . This night you will die . Then who will get what you have stored up for yourself ? " That night the rich man died . All his work and all his money were no good to him any more . Jesus said , " This is how it will be with anyone who stores up earthly or material things for himself . " We should not just live and work to fill our stomachs , but we should seek to live according to God 's will for our lives : to love God and to do good to other people . Then we shall have riches in heaven as well . Jesus talked about this a few times , saying that he was going to die soon , but that he would rise from the dead after three days and go back to heaven where he had come from . In this picture Jesus also explained to them that one day he will return from heaven . When he returns , his people who are ready and waiting for him , will receive their reward . Jesus said : " Be dressed , don 't be lazy and be watchful . Be like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding feast , so that when he comes and knocks , they can immediately open the door for him . It will be good for those servants if the master finds them watching when he comes . . . It will be good for those servants if the master finds them ready , even if he comes late at night . You should be ready , because I will come at an hour when you do not expect me . " One Sabbath day Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues , which were local places of worship / prayer houses . There was a crippled woman who had been bent over for 18 years . Jesus healed her so that she could stand up straight again . How she praised God for what happened to her ! The people , who were watching , were delighted . But again , the religious leaders of the synagogue were angry , because Jesus did this miracle on the Sabbath day . The religious leaders accused Jesus of breaking God 's Law . They said Jesus worked on the Sabbath , while God 's Book , the Bible , says that you should not work on a Sabbath day . One religious leader said at this meeting , " There are six days for work . So come and be healed on those days , not on the Sabbath . " Jesus answered him , " You hypocrites ! Doesn 't each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey and lead it out to the water to drink ? Then should not this woman , whom Satan has kept bound for 18 long years , be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her ? " Jesus knew that he did not dishonour God by what he did for the woman . He was doing God 's will when he healed her . On another Sabbath day , Jesus healed another sick man . Again the religious leaders were angry . Then Jesus told them this story : A man gave a feast . He invited many special guests . However , every one of them made excuses for why they could not come . So the man said to his servants , " Go out quickly into the streets and bring in to my feast the poor , the crippled people , the blind and the lame . Go out to the roads and make them come in , so that my house can be full . " Jesus was saying that the religious leaders were like the special guests in the parable . They were important religious leaders who should have taught the people God 's will , but they refused to accept God 's invitation to come to him by believing in Jesus . Now God invites all people to come to him . The religious leaders were also angry because Jesus liked to spend time with poor people and sinners , so Jesus told them this story . He said , " A woman had ten silver coins and she lost one . She lit a lamp and searched the house . At last she found it . She was very happy . She called her friends to come and they all rejoiced with her . " Jesus said , " In the same way , there is rejoicing in heaven when one sinner turns to God . " Every single person on this earth is important to God : old people , young people and the little children , male and female . He wants everyone to turn from sin and from Satan 's lies and come to him . God is the one who created us , loves us and knows what is best for us . He and all the angels in heaven rejoice ( are so happy ) whenever anyone turns back to Him . Jesus told yet another parable to explain this important matter a bit more clearly : It is about a son who was rebellious and stubborn . The boy lived with his older brother on his father 's farm . But one day this boy said to his father , " Give me my share of your property , my inheritance , now . " Well , because the father had two sons , he gave this boy one half of everything he owned . The boy left home and went to live in a far country . He had not learnt how to take responsibility and how to manage what he had received . So he ended up wasting all his money in wild living . He didn 't save any money and he did not think it was necessary to find a job . At last , all his money was gone . The rebellious son had nothing to eat . He had to look for a job , but these were difficult times . There was a famine in the land . He only found a job feeding pigs , for which he got a place to stay . But he still didn 't have any food yet . So he came to his senses and began to think about his life . He said to himself , " My father 's servants have plenty of food , and here I am starving to death . I will go back to my father and say to him , ' Father , I have sinned against you . You should not call me your son anymore , but make me one of your servants , ' " So the son decided to return to his father 's house . The father loved the boy very much . He was hoping that his son would return . When the boy was still a long way off , his father saw him coming home and felt great pity for him . He ran to meet the boy and welcomed him with great joy . He forgave him and took him back as his own son . God is also like this father . And we are all like the rebellious son . We all went away from our heavenly Father , our Creator , and his will for our lives , wasting our lives in sinful living . But God , our heavenly Father , loves and forgives every person who confesses his or her sin and turns back to God . To confess means that a person acknowledges ( admits ) that he or she has done wrong . Jesus taught the people much about money . He also warned how people 's love for money or worldly riches can harm their relationship with God . This happens when our love of earthly things is stronger than our love for God and what is important to him . This was one of the reasons the religious leaders hated Jesus ; they loved money . This was why they did not take notice of the poor . So Jesus told them this parable : There was a very rich man who lived in great wealth . At his gate sat a poor beggar . He was sick and hungry , but the rich man would not help him . After some time , the poor man died and the angels carried him to heaven where God the Father is . There the poor man found rest and comfort . This parable teaches us that the only way to get to heaven is to believe in Jesus , follow him and obey his Word . Don 't wait until you have died to seek God . Then it will be too late . Many people believed what Jesus taught them while he was on earth . These were usually ordinary people like Mary and Martha . They were also human beings , like you and me . But ( we see that ) most of the important people , the rich people and the religious leaders would not believe . The religious leaders especially , were also like wicked shepherds who did not care for God 's people who were put under their care . Through the parables Jesus warned all of these unbelievers . Now we must learn more about how Jesus Christ , his teachings and his miraculous works were finally rejected ( not accepted ) by the leaders in the Jewish society to the extent that he was sentenced to death and killed . These leaders were the religious leaders . In the meantime Jesus continued to teach the people and do miracles . One of these miracles happened in the family of Mary and Martha . Look at picture 79 . This picture shows an amazing thing that happened . Do you remember those friends of Jesus called Mary and Martha ? They had a brother called Lazarus . One day Lazarus became very sick . Jesus was not with them at that time and before He came to them , Lazarus died . The family bound his body in grave clothes and put him in a cave . That 's how people were buried in those days . Then they rolled a huge stone across the entrance . Four days later Jesus came to be with the family . Mary and Martha said , " Lord , if you had been here , our brother would not have died . " Jesus said , " Your brother will rise again . " Jesus wanted them to trust in him , not just for this life , but also for life after death . So he said , " I am the resurrection and the life ; he who believes in me , will live even though he dies . " They went to the cave . Jesus said to the people , " Take away the stone . " Then he prayed and said , " Father , I thank you that you have heard me . I know that you always hear me , but I said this so that these people can hear and believe that you sent me . " Then Jesus called out , " Lazarus , come out ! " Lazarus came out . Then Jesus said , " Unbind him and let him go . " Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead . The people were amazed and many believed in Jesus , but the religious leaders hated him still more and sought ways to kill him . Therefore Jesus stopped moving in public among the Jews ; he withdrew to a place near the desert where he stayed for a while with his disciples . Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem , the capital ( main ) city when 10 men met him on the way . They were sick with the infectious disease called leprosy , so they did not come close to Jesus . They stood at a distance and called out , " Jesus , Master , have pity on us ! " Jesus sent them on their way . As they went , they were all miraculously healed . One of them came back to Jesus to thank him . This man belonged to a different tribe . He was not a Jew like Jesus . He fell at Jesus ' feet and praised God . So Jesus said , " Were not all ten healed ? Where are the other nine ? Did no one return and give praise to God except for this foreigner ( foreign man ) ? " Then Jesus said to the man , " Get up and go ; your faith has made you well ( because you believed , you were healed ) . " Jesus continued to teach as he travelled . He told his disciples this parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up praying . A wicked judge did not fear God or care about anyone . One day a poor widow came to him and said , " Give me justice against my enemy . " But the judge would not do it . She came to him again and again . After a while , the judge said , " I don 't fear God or care about people . But because this woman keeps bothering me , I will see that she gets justice . " Jesus said God is not like that wicked judge . God wants to hear and answer our prayers . He will bring justice to his children ( treat his children right ) and quickly . He won 't keep putting them off . Some people , who heard Jesus teach , were very proud . In their own eyes they were satisfied and pleased with the way they served God . And they were proud of themselves and thought they were better than other people . So Jesus told this story about two men : They both went up to the temple to pray . The one man was very religious . He was very pleased with himself . In his prayer he told God how good he was . He said , " God , I thank you that I am not like other men , robbers , evildoers , adulterers ( people who cheat on their husbands or wives ) , or even like this tax collector . I do many good deeds . " But God was not pleased with this man . The other man , the tax collector , stood right at the back of the temple and said to God , " God , have mercy on me , a sinner . " God was pleased with this man , said Jesus . He also said , " Everyone who thinks he is great , will be made humble . Everyone who humbles himself will be made great . " Some people brought little children to Jesus . They wanted him to touch them . The disciples did not think that children were important , so they told the people to go away . However , Jesus said , " Let the little children come to me . Do not hinder them . The kingdom of God belongs to people who are like these children . I tell you the truth , anyone who will not become part of the kingdom of God , by receiving God 's forgiveness like a little child , will never enter it . " This means people who want to follow Jesus , must believe in him . They must trust him like a child trusts a good and beloved parent . That is the only way to enter God 's kingdom . A rich young man asked Jesus , " What must I do to live forever ( get everlasting life ) ? " The rich man was a leader , an important man in the community among his fellow men . He was also a good person . He said he had kept all the commandments of God since he was a boy . Jesus loved this young man and said to him , " You still need to do one thing . Sell everything you have and give it to the poor , and you will have treasure ( riches , something valuable / something worth much ) in heaven . Then come and follow me . " The man went away and was very sad . His earthly possessions were too important to him . He did not want to give away his material possessions . He did not understand or believe that he could trust Jesus to give him something much better . He could , give him everlasting life , that is a life forever with God . Do you believe in Jesus , and do you live according to what he teaches ? What reward can you expect from him ? Jesus told this story about rewards : A landowner was paying his workers . Some of them had worked all day , so he gave them a full day 's pay . Some had only worked part of the day , but he gave them a full day 's pay as well . Then those who worked the full day complained . They did not think it was fair . But the landowner said to them , " I have not been unfair to you . Didn 't you agree to work for the amount you received ? Take you pay and go . I want to give the men who were hired later in the day , the same as I gave you . Don 't I have the right to do what I want with my own money ? Do not be jealous and greedy because I am generous ! " God is like this landowner . He wants to give eternal life with God to anyone who believes in Jesus and follows him . We cannot earn this everlasting life ( life that never ends ) by how many good deeds we do . God wants to do this because he loves people and wants what is good for everyone . As Jesus went on to Jerusalem , He came to a city ( big village ) called Jericho . There a blind beggar sat beside the road . His name was Bartimaeus . Bartimaeus heard that Jesus was on his way and Bartimaeus started to shout , " Jesus , have mercy on me ! " It means " Jesus , have compassion on me and help me ! " Some people in the crowd rebuked Bartimaeus and told him to keep quiet , but he shouted again . Jesus stopped and asked Bartimaeus , " What do you want me to do for you ? " He replied , " Lord , I want to see . " Jesus said to him , " Because you have believed in me , I will heal you . " And immediately Bartimaeus could see ! In this city ( big village ) of Jericho lived a tax collector named Zacchaeus . He was a very short man . He wanted to see Jesus , but in the crowd he could not see him . There were just too many people . So he climbed into a tree as Jesus passed by . Jesus saw Zacchaeus in the tree and said to him , " Zacchaeus , come down immediately . I must stay at your house today . " The people were surprised and complained about this . They knew that Zacchaeus was a bad man who cheated people . But Zacchaeus received Jesus with great joy . He decided to change his lifestyle and give up his bad , sinful ways . Then Jesus said , " Today people were saved in this house ; for I came to seek and save those who are lost . " Jesus travelled further on to Jerusalem . He sent two of his disciples ahead of him . He told them : " Go to the town ( village ) ahead of you , and as you enter it , you will find a donkey tied there . No one has ever ridden on it . Untie it and bring it here . If anybody asks you why you have untied it , tell him , ' The Lord needs it . ' " Many people saw Jesus riding the donkey ; they thought he was coming to be their king . So they led him into the city of Jerusalem , the capital city , while they called out , " Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord . " There were many people who welcomed and honoured Jesus in this way . In Jerusalem , Jesus went to the temple , the main place of worship . There he saw that some people showed no respect for God . They were selling animals for sacrifice and were cheating the people too . So Jesus tipped over their tables and drove them out . He said , " My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations , but you have made it a den of robbers . " The religious leaders heard this , and were still looking for every possible opportunity to kill Jesus , because they were afraid of him . More and more people believed his teachings and much of that teaching was against the religion they practiced . This was another story Jesus told against the religious leaders : A landowner planted a vineyard . Then he decided to rent that vineyard out to some farmers . So he did , and went away . At harvest time he sent one of his servants to the farmers to collect from them some of the fruit of the vineyard for rental payment . But the farmers ( tenants ) beat the man and sent him away with nothing . The man sent many other servants after that to collect his payment . The farmers beat some of them . They killed others . Last of all the landowner sent his son whom ( that ) he loved , but the farmers killed him too . Jesus asked , " What will the owner of the vineyard do ? He will kill those farmers and give the vineyard to others . " Yes , the wicked religious leaders were just like the farmers in the vineyards . They did not love God . They refused to believe his messengers , the prophets , who promised the coming of God 's anointed one to the earth . One of the things they did , was to send other people to test Jesus with difficult questions . They wanted him to say something wrong against the government . At that time , the king was called Caesar . Some people asked Jesus , " Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar ? " Jesus answered , " Why are you trying to trap me ? Bring me a coin . " They brought a coin and he looked at it . Then he asked them , " Whose portrait is on the coin ? " They replied , " Caesar 's . " Then Jesus said to them , " Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar , and give to God what belongs to God . " Jesus answered all their hard questions well , and they could not find anything wrong to accuse him of . One day Jesus was sitting in the temple opposite the place where people put the offerings they brought . He watched the people and noticed rich people bring large offerings of money . Then a poor widow came in . She gave only two small coins . Immediately Jesus called his disciples to him and said , " Do you see this poor widow ? She has put more in the offering box than all the other people . They gave what they had left over from their wealth , but she has given everything she had . " The buildings of the temple were very beautiful . Jesus ' disciples were looking at these buildings from the outside . Then Jesus said , " Do you see all these great buildings ? Not one stone will be left on another , every one will be thrown down . " This meant that the temple would soon be destroyed . He also told them about the end time . He told them what was going to happen before the end time on earth . He said there will be wars and famines and earthquakes before the end time . Many people who believe in Jesus will be persecuted and killed . Today we do see these things happen . But there is also another sign of the end times : The good news about Jesus who takes away people 's sin , will be preached through the whole world and then the end will come . At the end time he will come back to the earth . Jesus told his disciples another parable to explain how his return to the earth will happen . He said , " There were 10 young virgin women . They were waiting for a wedding feast to begin . Five of them were wise and five of them were foolish women . " They all expected the bridegroom to come during the night , so they went out with lamps to meet him . But the bridegroom took longer that they expected . The five foolish women did not take enough oil for their lamps , so after a while they had to go and buy more oil . While they were away , the bridegroom arrived . Those who were ready went with him to the wedding feast and the door was shut . When the foolish women came back later , they called out , ' Open the door for us ! ' But the bridegroom replied , ' I don 't know you . ' So the foolish women could not attend the feast , because they did not have enough oil . They should have been ready at the time the bridegroom arrived . " This story has a warning for every person : Jesus , who is in heaven now , will return to the earth , just as he promised . He will come suddenly . Some people will be ready . They will enter the place that God has prepared for them with Jesus , and they will live there forever . Others that will not be ready will be left outside forever . Jesus said , " Therefore be on the lookout and ready , because you do not know when I will return . " Jesus told his disciples another story to explain the time of his return . The story was about a rich man who went on a journey . Before he left his home , he called his servants . He trusted them with his money to invest while he was gone . Then the man went on his journey . Two of his servants worked responsibly with his money . They gained more money for their master . But the other servant was afraid that he would lose the money he received , so he hid the money in the ground . Eventually the master returned . He said to the servants who made more money for him , " Well done . You are good servants . I could trust you with a few things I put under your care . Now I will put you in charge of more things . " He gave them their reward . But he was angry with the lazy servant who was afraid and threw him out of his house . Jesus wants everybody to be ready for his return . On that day , he will come in great glory , bringing all the angels of heaven with him . He will judge all people , men and women . He will be like a shepherd who separates the sheep from the goats . We have learnt that Jesus knew all about the religious leaders ' plans to kill him . But he told his disciples that it was all part of God 's plan . Jesus had to complete his work on earth by dying for all people , but he promised that he would rise again and that he would go back to heaven , and after many years he will return to the earth to take his followers , to be with him forever . Jesus taught and did many miracles on earth for three years , from age 30 to age 33 . He showed the people what God is like . God is good , but Satan is evil . Satan worked in the hearts of the Jewish leaders in Israel to have Jesus killed . Listen to what happened while you watch pictures 97 - 108 . Jesus went to the town ( village ) of Bethany . There he spent time at the house of a man called Simon the leper . That evening he went to a dinner served in his honour . Do you remember Lazarus , whom Jesus had raised from the dead ? He had 2 sisters , Mary and Martha . Mary arrived at Simon 's house with a jar of very expensive perfume . She poured it over Jesus . One of the disciples , called Judas Iscariot , was angry about this . He said , " Why was this perfume not sold and given to the poor ? It was worth a year 's wages ! " He did not say this because he cared about the poor , but because he was a thief . He was also the keeper of the purse and he sometimes stole some of the money Jesus and all the disciples received to live on . But Jesus said , " Leave her alone . You will always have the poor with you , but you will not always have me . She poured the perfume on my body to prepare for my burial . " This showed again that Jesus knew the leaders planned to kill him very soon . After this , Judas went to the Jewish priests to discuss with them how he was going to betray Jesus to them . He offered to help them arrest Jesus . The priests were delighted . They gave Judas thirty silver coins as payment . So he agreed and watched out for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to the religious leaders . But Jesus knew what Judas was doing . On their way from Bethany to Jerusalem , Jesus sent two of his disciples ahead to Jerusalem saying , " Go into the city ; a man carrying a jar of water will meet you . Follow him . Say to the owner of the house he enters , ' the Teacher asks : Where is the guest room , where I may eat the Passover with my disciples ? ' He will show you a large ( upper ) room , furnished and ready . Make preparation for us there . " The disciples left and found everything just as Jesus had told them . So they prepared to celebrate the feast called " Passover " . Can you remember what the Passover feast is ? During this feast the Jewish people remembered what God had done for the Jews many , many years before . They remembered how God delivered them out of a foreign country where they suffered much and had to work hard under bad bosses . The Jews remembered how God protected their forefathers against their enemies and gave them the country of Israel to live in . During that Passover meal , the disciples started to argue with each other about who was the most important among them . Jesus got up from the table . He took some water and a towel . Then he washed the feet of each one of his disciples . He said to them , " Do you understand what I have done for you ? You call me Teacher and Lord , and that 's right . Now that I , your Lord and Teacher , have washed your feet , you should wash one another 's feet . " Jesus was teaching them who are the most important in the kingdom of God . It is those who are willing to serve others . Jesus gave his disciples something else to remember at their Passover feast . As he broke the bread and gave it to the disciples to eat , he said , " Take it and eat it ; this is my body . " Then he passed the cup around and said , " This is my blood . It is poured out for many people for the forgiveness of sins . " Then Jesus said , " Do this in future to remember me . " But his disciples then did not understand why he did this . He told them again that he had to die soon . But Peter was upset about his words . He said , " Lord , why can 't I follow you now ? I will lay down my life for you . " Jesus answered , " Will you really lay down you life for me ? I tell you the truth , before the cock crows , you will deny that you know me three times . " The disciples did not understand that Jesus ' death would be the sacrifice for the sin of all people . Sins are the things that control them and cause suffering . Jesus had to die , so that people who live in sin , can receive forgiveness for that sin , and can be set free from sin . The disciples also didn 't know the great suffering and the kind of death that awaited Jesus . But Jesus knew . He also knew that they would run away in fear and leave him later that very night . At this Passover meal Jesus taught his disciples another important thing . He said , " I am the grapevine , you are the branches . If someone remains in me , he or she will bear much fruit ; apart from me you can do nothing . " But Jesus said that some people will not produce fruit for God , so he will cut them out of the vine . They will be like dry branches gathered up and burned in a fire . ( Bible for Today 's Family ) Then Jesus prayed for his disciples . He asked God to make them strong in difficult times . After this Jesus and some of his disciples went to a garden called Gethsemane . It was late at night . Jesus told three of them to keep watch . He went aside and prayed again , but the three disciples fell asleep . In the picture you can see them . Jesus was praying alone . He was greatly troubled , because he knew he had to suffer much and die very soon . He asked God for strength to do what God wanted him to do : that was , to suffer at the hands of men and die for the sins of all people . As Jesus was speaking with his disciples in the garden of Gethsemane , Judas Iscariot came to Gethsemane . He led a crowd of people , including a number of soldiers and some officials who were sent by the religious leaders . They were armed with clubs and swords . Judas told these men , " I will kiss one man . He is the one you want ; arrest him . " Then Judas went to Jesus , greeted and kissed him . The soldiers took hold of Jesus and arrested him . The disciples were very much afraid . They left Jesus and ran away . The soldiers tied Jesus up and took him away to the Jewish leaders . The apostle Peter followed at a distance . He wanted to see what would happen to Jesus . The leaders and the priests questioned Jesus . They found people to tell lies about him , but their statements were not the same . The chief ( high ) priest said to Jesus , " Are you the Christ , the Son of God ? " And Jesus said , " I am . " So they said he must die because he claimed to be the Christ , the Son of God . They beat him and spat in his face . Peter was warming himself at a fire outside , when a servant girl recognised him and said , " You also were with Jesus . " But Peter denied it because he was afraid of what could happen to him . " I don 't know what you are talking about , " he said . Three times he said that he did not know Jesus . Suddenly a cock crowed and then Peter remembered what Jesus had said to him at the Passover feast , " Before the cock crows , you will deny that you know me three times . " Peter was ashamed because he had denied knowing the Christ . He went out and wept bitterly . The priests agreed that Jesus should die . They were not allowed to carry out a death sentence , so they sent Jesus to one of the political leaders . He was the Roman governor and his name was Pilate . He had the power to sentence people to death . The Jews wanted Pilate to sentence Jesus , but Pilate said , " I cannot find any reason to kill him . " However , the soldiers beat Jesus . They made a crown out of thorns and pressed it on his head . They laughed at him , and they mocked him by calling him " king of the Jews " . Pilate wanted to let Jesus go free , but the crowd called out , " Crucify him ! Crucify him ! " Pilate was afraid that the crowd would become violent . The religious leaders succeeded in stirring up the people in the crowd by falsely accusing Jesus . They forced Pilate to condemn Jesus to death . Pilate wanted to prevent a breakout of violence . He was also afraid of the Jewish leaders , because they warned him that if he should release Jesus , the people would think he was against Caesar , the king over Israel and many other countries at that time . It was because Jesus was known as king of the Jews . So Pilate gave in and handed Jesus over to be crucified . What does it mean to be crucified ? Listen further . Soldiers took Jesus away to put him to death . They made him carry a big wooden cross , which were two wooden poles nailed across each other . You can see it in the picture . Then they went to a place outside the city called Golgotha . Golgotha means ' the place of the skull ' . The soldiers took Jesus ' clothes and divided them among themselves . They nailed him to the cross through his hands and his feet . Then they raised the cross to stand upright . It was 9 o ' clock in the morning when they crucified Jesus . Two other criminals were crucified beside Jesus . They all had to hang on the crosses until they died . After 3 hours , at midday , a great darkness covered the land . For 3 hours it was very dark . After 6 hours on the cross Jesus called out in triumph , " It is finished . " Then he died . One officer , that is a soldier in charge of other soldiers , stood there the whole time . He was amazed and said , " This man was really the Son of God . " Yes , Jesus really died . His work on earth was finished , just as he said on the cross . Jesus never sinned , but he came to die as a sacrifice for the sin of all people . Why ? Because all people have sinned against God , and the punishment for sin is death and everlasting separation from God . Before God , people cannot find forgiveness for their sin , unless blood is offered . That 's why the priests in the temple always offered animals before God and then prayed to God for the people . But no animal can really pay for the sin of man . That 's why Jesus , who was perfect , without sin , was the perfect sacrifice . He offered his blood as a sacrifice for the sin of all people when he died on the cross as an innocent man . Yes , because he was without sin , he was the only acceptable sacrifice before God . God loved us so much that he gave his only Son to die , to save us from sin and everlasting death . After Jesus had died on the cross , a soldier stuck a spear into his body to make sure he was really dead . But this was not the end of Jesus . Wait and see . . . the greatest miracle of all was still going to happen . There was a disciple of Jesus named Joseph from a place called Arimathea . He was a rich man . He had made a new tomb for himself in a garden near the place where Jesus died . Nicodemus was an important religious leader . He was the one who came to Jesus one night for teaching . Well , Nicodemus helped Joseph to take the body of Jesus down from the cross and they laid the body in the new tomb . Some men rolled a great stone across the entrance . Then Pilate sent soldiers to guard the tomb . He did this because the religious leaders asked him to guard the grave . They heard that Jesus had promised to rise from the dead . They did not believe this . But they were afraid that Jesus ' disciples would steal the body of Jesus and then tell everybody that he was raised from the dead . But on the third day after Jesus died , a wonderful thing happened . At the break of day a few women who had followed Jesus , went to look at the tomb . There was a great earthquake . An angel of God came down from heaven and rolled back the stone door before the grave opening and he went and sat on it . The soldiers guarding the tomb were so afraid that they fell down like dead men . The angel spoke to the women . He said , " Do not be afraid . I know you are looking for Jesus who was crucified . He is not here ; he has risen , just as he said . Come and see the place where he lay . Then go quickly and tell his disciples he has risen from the dead . " Some women ran and told the disciples that Jesus had risen from the dead , but they did not believe them . So Peter and John also ran to the tomb . They saw that only the grave cloths were left in the tomb where the body had been . Nobody had touched the grave clothes , but the body of Jesus was not there . When John saw it all , he believed . They went home , but they still did not understand why Jesus had to rise from the dead . After John and Peter had gone home , one of the women , Mary Magdalene , stayed at the tomb . She was crying . She looked into the tomb and saw two angels where the body of Jesus was . They said , " Why are you crying ? " " They have taken the body of my Lord Jesus away , and I don 't know where they have put him , " Mary said . Suddenly Jesus himself appeared . Mary did not recognise him ( did not realize it was Jesus ) . He asked her , " Woman , why are you crying ? Who is it you are looking for ? " She thought he was the gardener , and that he had taken the body of Jesus . So she said , " Sir , if you have carried him away , tell me where you have put him . . . " Then Jesus said to her , " Mary ! " Immediately she knew his voice . It was Jesus speaking to her ! That same day two other disciples left Jerusalem to walk to a place called Emmaus . They were very sad . They did not know that Jesus rose from the dead . They talked about the death of Jesus . Suddenly Jesus was walking beside them . They did not know that it was Jesus - they did not recognise him . He talked with them and explained why the Christ had to die . The men asked him to stay with them . Later , at the table with them , Jesus took bread , broke it and gave it to them . Then they recognised him . They realised that their guest was Jesus Christ himself . Then he disappeared from their sight . Immediately the two disciples went back to Jerusalem . They told the other disciples , " We have seen Jesus ! " While they were still speaking , Jesus suddenly stood among them . He said , " Peace be with you . " They were all amazed and also afraid . They thought they saw a ghost ( a spirit ) . But Jesus said to them , " Why are you troubled and why do you doubt ? Look at my hands and my feet . It is I myself ! Touch me and see . A ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see I have . " He showed them the nail marks in his hands and feet . They knew for certain that this man was Jesus and they could all see that he was alive again . He also ate some baked fish with them . When Jesus appeared to the disciples , one disciple named Thomas was not with them . So they told him later that Jesus was alive , but Thomas did not believe them . A week later they were all together again . This time Thomas was with them . All the doors were locked because they were afraid of the Jews , especially the Jewish leaders . Once again Jesus appeared to them all . He said to Thomas , " Put your finger here . See the nail marks in my hands . Reach out your hand and put it where the spear went into my side . Stop doubting and believe . " Then Thomas also believed . He knelt in front of Jesus and said , " My Lord and my God ! " Jesus said to him , " Because you have seen me , you have believed . How happy are those who have not seen me and still believe in me . " Some of the disciples went back to Galilee . One night they went fishing but they did not catch anything . Just as the sun rose , they saw a man on the beach . He called to them , " Throw your nets on the right side of the boat and you will catch some fish . " They did what he told them and caught many fish . Suddenly they realised ( knew ) that the man on the beach was Jesus . They brought the fish to the shore . There on the beach they talked and ate breakfast with Jesus again . He encouraged them to continue to obey him and everything he taught them . Another time , the disciples were together on a mountain in Galilee . Jesus appeared to them there and said , " God the Father has given me all authority in heaven and on earth . You must go and make people my disciples in all nations on earth . Baptise them in the name of the Father , the Son and the Holy Spirit . Teach them to obey me . Know for sure that I am with you to the end . " Jesus led his disciples to a mountain outside Jerusalem . He told them , " Do not leave Jerusalem , but wait for the gift my Father promised . . . that is , you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you , and you will be my witnesses . . . to the ends of the earth . " After he said this , he was taken up before their eyes into the clouds of heaven . They were still looking up at the sky as he was going , when two angels appeared . They said , " This same Jesus who has been taken from you into heaven , will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven . " The disciples returned to Jerusalem with great joy . There they waited , just as Jesus told them to do , and they prayed together . After ten days God sent his Holy Spirit to them . The Holy Spirit gave them great boldness . They went out and began to tell people everywhere about Jesus : what he came to do on the earth and why . Many people believed and were baptized . This is how the Christian Church began . heaven . So he is still alive in heaven today . Jesus hears the prayers of every person who believes in him . Jesus speaks to God for us . Here on earth his Holy Spirit guides and helps us and prays with us in our daily lives until we die . Won 't you come to Jesus now ? Turn from the wrong things in your life . Ask him to forgive your sins . Ask his Holy Spirit to control your life . He will teach you more about God as you learn from the Bible , the book in which everything we need to know about God , is written . The Holy Spirit will teach you . He wants to give you new life . It is an everlasting life of joy and peace with God . And remember , one day Jesus will return on the clouds of heaven . He will reign in peace over all those who believe in Him . Jesus is not only a man or a prophet of God . Jesus is God 's Son and he showed us what God is like in a perfect way . That 's why Jesus is also called Immanuel ( Matt . 1 : 23 ) , because he came to the earth to live among people . Immanuel means " God with us " . Jesus existed from the beginning . He lives today and he will live forever . Well , it is important to know that Jesus Christ loves all people and wants to give all of us life that never ends ( everlasting or eternal life ) with God . He wants us to be with him forever . He wants us to receive God 's forgiveness for all our sin . He wants us to know God and understand his will for our life . Once we understand God 's will , we will not be satisfied with our old ways any more . We must also ask him and trust him to forgive our sins . We can speak to God in prayer . He will hear us . We can start by praying like this , " Lord , I am a sinner . I need you to forgive my sin . Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin . Thank you for rising from death so that I can also live forever with you . Please send your Holy Spirit into my life . Help me to honour you ( obey you because you know what is best for me ) , ( and ) because you are the only true God . Amen . " |
Scripts are basic guidelines for translation and recording into other languages . They should be adapted as necessary to make them understandable and relevant for each different culture and language . Some terms and concepts used may need more explanation or even be replaced or omitted completely . Script Text Who was Jesus Christ ? When was he born and what did he do ? Where did he come from ? To answer these questions we must go to the book called the Bible . Everything we need to know about Jesus and about God is written in the Bible . The Bible teaches us about the beginning of time . Listen carefully while you look at pictures 1 to 14 . You will learn why and how Jesus Christ came to the earth . Every time , when you hear the music , you must turn to the next picture . ( Music bridge ) In the beginning , before time began , God existed . He was always there . Jesus Christ existed with God . Jesus shows us perfectly who God is . The Bible is God 's Holy Book , where God 's will for man is written . Everything we need to know about Jesus and God is written in the Bible . The Bible also calls Jesus the Light of the world . This is because he shows those who believe in him , the way to God . Jesus gives all who believe in him , eternal life with God . We just said that Jesus was with God in the beginning . He created everything in the universe . He created all the animals and the people in this world . The first man was called Adam and the first woman was called Eve . At that time there was no sickness or death in the world . There was no murder , no crime , no robberies , no pain and no hurt . Everything was good , just like God had created it . God put Adam and Eve , the first man and woman , in a beautiful garden . God planted the garden himself . There were all kinds of good fruit to eat . There was only one tree in the middle of the garden that God told the man and woman not to eat from . Adam and Eve trusted God and obeyed him . But one day Satan came to Adam and Eve in the form of a snake . Satan was one of God 's creatures . But he had turned against God who is good , because he wanted to be like God . And He also wanted to turn Adam and Eve against God . He told them a lie about the fruit God told them not to eat . And instead of believing God , they believed Satan 's lie and decided to eat of the forbidden fruit in the middle of the garden . Satan succeeded in persuading the humans to disobey God and to act against his good will for their life . Through this wrong act Adam and Eve became sinners . Sinners are people who do not obey God . Adam and Eve stopped believing God 's words and in his good will for their life . The relationship between them and God was broken , because they chose to turn against his command and truth . God sent Adam and Eve away from the beautiful garden where they had lived so far . Everything on earth changed drastically ; life became hard and full of problems . Sorrow , pain , robbery , murder , sickness and death came into the world . And from that time on , all people that were born lived without God and his will . So everyone lived according to Satan 's way and his plans . But God always loved the people . He created them . So he made a plan to save all people from Satan 's wicked lies that were never good for mankind . In the mean time there were more and more people on the earth . They forgot that God even existed , that he cared for them , and that he only wanted what is best for them . Therefore most people thought bad thoughts and did bad things because they did not know a better way . However , there was one man among them who knew God and obeyed him . This man 's name was Abraham . Abraham and his wife Sara were already very old and they still could not have any children . You can see Abraham in this picture . It shows that one night God spoke to Abraham and said , " Look up at the heavens and ( try to ) count the stars . Your descendents ( offspring ) will be just as many as there are stars in the sky . " God also promised Abraham that through his descendents ( offspring ) all people on the earth will be blessed . Blessed here means they will be happy because they will be in the right relationship with God again . Abraham became very , very old before he died . Many years after this his son , and later his son 's children lived and died . And after many years their children and their children 's children lived and died . And even many years after that , God one day sent an angel , one of his messengers from heaven where he lives , to the earth to the land of Israel . First the angel went to the city of Jerusalem . Jerusalem was the capital - city ( main city ) of Israel . There was a huge temple in this city . The temple was the main place where the people who believed in God , went to pray to God . In this temple there was a priest with the name Zechariah . Zechariah and his wife , just like Abraham and his wife Sarah , could not have children . But one day while Zechariah was praying in the temple , the angel of God came to Zechariah and told him , " Do not be afraid . Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son , and you must give him the name John . He will make you very happy and many people will find joy through his life . Your son will have an important job to do for God . The Holy Spirit of God will be with him from the moment he is born . " Everything happened just like the angel told Zechariah . John was born and grew up to become an important prophet in the service of God in the country of Israel . A prophet is a person through whom God gives important messages to people . A few months after the angel had spoken to Zechariah , the same angel appeared to a young girl in Israel . Her name was Mary . She had never slept with a man . The angel said to Mary , " You will give birth to a son , and you must give him the name Jesus . The Holy Spirit of God will come upon you ; so the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God . " At that time Mary was engaged to a man called Joseph . He was a descendent of Abraham . Joseph was a good man . When he discovered that Mary was pregnant , he decided not to marry her anymore . But the angel of God appeared to Joseph in a dream and said , " Do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife , because the baby in her is from the Holy Spirit of God . She will have a son , and you must give him the name Jesus , because he will save his people from their sins . " The name Jesus means " Saviour " . A Saviour rescues one out of danger . So Joseph took Mary as his wife . They travelled to a town ( village ) called Bethlehem , because that is where Joseph 's family came from . There were many people in Bethlehem at that time . Joseph and Mary could not find a place to stay . They had to spend the night in an animal stable , and while they were there , Jesus was born . In the fields outside Bethlehem there were shepherds . They were looking after their sheep . Suddenly an angel appeared to them . He said , " Do not be afraid . I bring you good news that will make you very happy and it is for all people . Today in the town ( village ) of Bethlehem a Saviour was born ; he is Christ the Lord . This will be a sign to you . You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in an animal stable . " Immediately the shepherds went into Bethlehem . And there they found the baby Jesus with Mary and Joseph , just as the angels had told them . Those shepherds were uneducated people , but they realised that Jesus was a very special baby , so they praised God for him , because they were very glad . Mary and Joseph took the baby Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem . They went to thank God for this baby and to present ( or dedicate ) the baby to God . Do you remember that the temple was the main place where people went to pray to God ? There was an old man called Simeon in the temple . Simeon believed God 's promise to send a Saviour into the world to save all who believe in him . Simeon was looking forward to this . When Simeon saw Jesus in the temple , he took him in his arms and prayed the following words to God , " With my own eyes I 've seen what you have done to save your people , and foreign nations will also see this . Your mighty power is a light for all nations , and it will bring honour to your people Israel . " There was also an old prophetess called Anna in the temple . Anna also saw Jesus in the temple . She went and told people that this child had come to save them . Simeon and Anna both knew that Jesus was the Christ whom God had promised . Christ means " anointed one " or " chosen one " . Anointed means " set apart for God " . Some wise men travelled to Israel from a very far country . They asked everywhere , " Where is the baby who has been born as king of the Jews , the people of Israel ? We saw his star in the east and have come to honour him / show respect to him . " The wise men followed the star to Bethlehem and there they found Jesus . They gave him gifts and worshipped him . The man who was king of Israel at that time , was called Herod . He was very jealous when he heard about the wise men 's visit to Jesus , especially because they said Jesus was born as king of the Jews , the people of Israel . Herod wanted to kill Jesus . But an angel of God warned Joseph about this in a dream . So Joseph took Mary and the baby and fled to a country called Egypt . There they stayed until king Herod died . Only then they returned to Israel . They went to live in a town ( village ) called Nazareth . Every year Joseph and his whole family travelled to the city of Jerusalem . They went to attend a feast at the temple in honour of God or to show God how thankful the people of Israel were for what God had done for them in the past . The feast was called the Passover Feast . Jesus knew that God was his heavenly Father , but no one else understood this . Jesus grew up to be a man and more and more people were pleased with the way he lived . God was also very pleased with him . ( " And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature , and in favour with God and men . " - original quote ) Many years before Jesus was born , God already promised the people of Israel that he would send someone to the earth called the Christ , to save them . God did this by giving them messages through the prophets . The Christ would have power over Satan , sin and death . The Christ would heal the sick , would care for the poor and needy and he would do many wonderful signs and wonders . Let us look at pictures 15 - 32 to find out more about all the miracles Jesus did . Do you remember the old priest named Zechariah who had a son called John ? Well , John grew up to be a great prophet in Israel . He lived in the desert . Many people went there to listen to what he had to say . He told them , like the prophets before him , that God would send someone to save them . He also warned them to prepare themselves for the Saviour 's coming and to turn from their evil ways . Evil ways are bad or wrong ways . Many believed John 's message . They were baptised in the river named the Jordan . Baptism was a sign ( showed ) that they decided to turn away from their old ways of life and start learning and living the way God wants them to live . One day when John was baptising people in the river , Jesus came to him . Jesus did not need to turn from sin , because Jesus never sinned . However , Jesus still wanted John to baptise him in the river . In the picture you can see how John baptised Jesus . As Jesus came up out of the water , the Holy Spirit of God came down upon Jesus in the form of a dove . A voice from heaven spoke and said , " This is my son , whom I love . With him I am very pleased . " After John baptised Jesus , the Holy Spirit of God led Jesus into the desert . There Jesus prayed and did not eat for 40 days . He did this to prepare for the future work he had to do on earth . Then Satan came to Jesus in the desert to tempt him . He also told lies to Jesus , just like he told lies to Adam and Eve in the garden in the beginning . Satan wanted Jesus to listen to his lies and to sin just like Adam and Eve did , because Satan wanted to stop Jesus from doing the work he came to do on earth - that is , saving people from sin and death . Three times Satan tried to make Jesus ( persuade Jesus to ) listen to him and obey his lies , but Jesus knew God and his will perfectly . Jesus responded to every lie of Satan by quoting words from the Bible , God 's Holy Book , where God 's will for man is written . These words are the truth and they proved that everything Satan speaks are lies and can 't be trusted . Jesus knew this ; therefore Satan had no power over Jesus . After a while Satan left Jesus and went away . After this , Jesus went to Galilee in the north of the land of Israel . There he went to a wedding feast with his mother and some of his disciples . Disciples were followers of Jesus . They believed in Jesus and everything he taught , and they wanted to obey his teachings . Anyway , at this wedding feast it happened that there was not enough wine for the wedding guests . Then Jesus said to the servants , " Fill the jars with water . " The servants did as he told them . He then said to them , " Now pour some out and take it to the master of ceremonies ( of the banquet ) . " When the master in charge of the wedding feast tasted the water , he found that it had changed into the very best wine and there was enough for all the guests . This was the first miracle that Jesus did . It showed that Jesus had amazing power . After his first miracle , Jesus began to do many more miracles . More and more people heard about these miracles that he did . Among these was an important religious leader called Nicodemus . When Nicodemus heard about Jesus , he went to Jesus one night in secret . Jesus taught Nicodemus many things that night . Jesus said , " I tell you the truth , no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born again . He must be born of water and the Holy Spirit of God . " The Holy Spirit shows people their sin and helps them to turn away from their old way of life and from Satan 's lies . They will start to live ( according to God 's will ) ( or to please God ) . Then they will know that Jesus saves all who believe in Him . Jesus travelled around and taught many people . One day Jesus was travelling when he became very tired . He sat down beside a well . A Samaritan woman came to the well to draw some water . Samaritans were not true Jews from Israel . They belonged to another people group who lived in the country of Samaria . Jesus also knew that she was a bad woman . She had already had 5 husbands and the man she lived with was not her husband . She was surprised when Jesus asked her to give him some water to drink . Jesus then also said to her , " You don 't know who I am . You should actually ask me to give you some living water . " Water cannot take away this thirst . The living water that Jesus offers , is the Holy Spirit . God will give his Holy Spirit to everyone who believes in Jesus . Jesus went back to Cana where he turned the water into wine . An important man from a nearby town ( village ) came to Jesus . The man 's son was very ill . He begged Jesus to come and heal his son who was close to death . Jesus did not go with the man to his home . Jesus only said to the man , " You may go . Your son will live . " At that very moment the man 's son became well . The people who heard about this , realised that Jesus also had power over sickness . One day Jesus saw four fishermen beside the lake of Galilee . Their names were Peter and Andrew , James and John . Jesus called to them and said , " Come , follow me , and I will make you fishers of men . " A big crowd of people gathered beside the lake , so Jesus told the fishermen to push one boat out into the water . Jesus sat in the boat and taught the people on the shore about God . Jesus finished teaching the people . Then he said to Peter , " Take the boat out into the deep water and let down the nets for a catch of fish . " Peter answered him , " Sir ( Master ) , we 've worked hard all night and haven 't caught anything . But because you say so , I will let down the nets . " They let down the nets and caught many fish . They had to call James and John in the other boat to come and help them . When they pulled the fishnets into the boats , the boats became so full that they nearly sank . Peter and his friends were all amazed . They pulled their boats up onto the shore , and started to follow Jesus everywhere he went . They became his disciples . Remember , disciples were followers of Jesus . They believed in Jesus and everything he taught , and they wanted to obey his teachings . In the town ( village ) of Capernaum , Jesus went into the local synagogue and taught the people about God . A synagogue was the local place where people went and listened to God 's Word and prayed to Him . The people were amazed because Jesus spoke with such authority . It means that he knew what he was talking about and the people easily believed him . While Jesus was speaking , a man with an evil spirit in him suddenly cried out , " What do you want with us , Jesus of Nazareth ? Have you come to destroy us ( harm us ) ? I know who you are - the Holy One of God ! " . Jesus knew there was an evil ( bad ) spirit in the man . Jesus spoke to the spirit in the man and said , " Be quiet ! Come out of him ! " The spirit had to obey Jesus . It gave a loud cry and then left the man . Through this miracle the people saw that Jesus also had power over spirits . From Capernaum Jesus went with his disciples to Peter 's house . Peter 's mother - in - law was very sick . She had a high fever . Jesus took her hand and helped her up . The fever left her ; she was healed and began to serve them ( give them something to eat ) . Many people started to bring sick people to Jesus . He healed them all and also sent many evil ( bad ) spirits out of people . Jesus continued to travel around the area called Galilee teaching about God and healing the sick . One such sick man had a bad disease called leprosy . The man begged Jesus to heal him . Jesus stretched out his hand and touched the man , and immediately the man was healed from his disease . More and more people followed Jesus everywhere he went . They wanted to hear everything he taught and some wanted Jesus to heal them . Sometimes it was hard for Jesus to enter the towns ( villages ) , so big were the crowds who gathered to see him . A few days later , the crowds heard that Jesus was teaching at a certain house in the town ( village ) of Capernaum . Among the listeners were also a number of the local religious leaders . There were also four men outside the house who desperately wanted to bring their paralysed friend to Jesus so that Jesus could heal him . But because of all the people gathering outside the house , the four men could not get to the door to go in . So they made a plan . You can see in the picture what they did . They made an opening ( a hole ) in the roof of the house . Then they lowered the paralysed man through the opening , down in front of Jesus . When Jesus saw that they believed in him , he said to the paralysed man , " Son , your sins are forgiven . " Then he said to the paralysed man , " I tell you , get up , take your mat and go home . " This man was also healed . The people were amazed , but the religious leaders said , " Who can forgive sins but God alone ? " But through this miracle Jesus showed that he had power to forgive sins . Jesus went out beside the lake . As he walked along , he saw a man called Matthew . Matthew was a tax collector . His job was to see that all the people in the country pay their taxes . The people hated tax collectors , because they often cheated and mistreated the people . But Jesus said to Matthew , " Follow me ! " Immediately Matthew got up , left everything and followed Jesus . Matthew invited all his friends to a great feast that he prepared for Jesus . Many of Matthew 's friends were dishonest tax collectors and really bad people . The religious leaders saw Jesus eating with these bad guys , so they asked his disciples , " Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners ? " Jesus heard this and said , " Healthy people do not need a doctor . Sick people do . I have not come to call people who are right with God . I have come to call sinners . " Jesus went to the capital city called Jerusalem . He saw a man who had been lame for 38 years . The man lay beside a certain pool that some believed was special . The man hoped the water in the pool could heal him . It was believed that only at certain times , the water could heal people . But the lame man could never get into the pool at the right time . Jesus said to the man , " Get up ! Pick up your mat and walk . " At once the man was healed ! Jesus worked this miracle on the special day of the week called the Sabbath . The Sabbath was the seventh day of the week when everyone rested from his or her work . It was a special day . However , the religious leaders had made many rules about the Sabbath . They even prevented people from helping others on the Sabbath because they said it was work . They did not care about poor people in need . So they were angry because Jesus had healed the paralysed man on the Sabbath day . On another Sabbath day Jesus and some of his disciples were walking in the fields . They picked some grain and ate it . Again the religious leaders accused them of breaking the laws about the Sabbath . Jesus said to them , " The Sabbath was made for man , not man for the Sabbath . " It means God wanted the Sabbath to be a day to rest , to pray and help other people . He didn 't want it to be a day of hardship and sorrow . From this the people learnt that Jesus was also Lord of the Sabbath . And Jesus is still the Lord of the Sabbath today . It means he rules over the Sabbath . We should set the day apart to honour and worship Him but be willing to use it in service to others also . On another Sabbath day there was a man at the local synagogue who had a withered hand . The religious leaders watched Jesus carefully . They wanted to see if he would also heal this man on the Sabbath . They wanted more reasons to accuse him of breaking their religious laws . Jesus was very sad about the stubbornness of their hearts . Jesus said to the man with the withered hand , " Stretch out your hand , " and the people could see that his hand was completely healed . Then the evil leaders went out and made plans to kill Jesus . The people of Israel were amazed by all that Jesus did . They saw that he had great power , and so many people began to follow him and believe in him . However , the religious leaders of the day were jealous of him . They would not believe that he was the promised Christ , the anointed one or the chosen one from God . In the place called Galilee , Jesus spent one whole night in prayer to God . When the morning came , he chose 12 men whom he called apostles , from among his disciples . The 12 men Jesus chose to be apostles had to help him in the important business of teaching others what they had learnt from him . The word apostle means " sent one " . Jesus went with these apostles to where a large crowd of his disciples and people from all over the country had gathered to hear him . He sat down in an open place with his disciples and he taught them many things about the ways of God - how to learn to know God and to live according to his ways . Here are some of the things Jesus taught : No one hides a light under a basket . He puts it up where it gives light to everyone . Jesus said to his disciples , " You are the light of the world . Let your light shine where people can see it . Let them see the good things you do . But do not expect them to praise you . They should give praise to God , your Father , who is in heaven . " This he said because he ( Jesus ) was and still is the light of this world . When we follow and obey him , we carry his light in us . That 's why Jesus said to his disciples , " You are the light of the world . " His disciples get their light from him , the light , whom they follow . Jesus has nothing bad in him ; he is only good . His life shines like a bright light in a world full of darkness . Darkness represents all kinds of evil and sin , like violence , pride , theft and murder . If we live a good life by following Jesus and believing in him , our lives also shine like lights in this dark world . If our lives are different to all the evil in this world , people cannot help but see it . Jesus taught his disciples ( followers ) not to resist an evil person ( a person who looks for trouble ) . He said , " If someone strikes you on the right cheek , let him strike the other also . Love your enemies ; bless those who hate you . " God knows when people do wrong to us . He himself will judge evil people . He may judge them in this life or he will judge them after death . We do not have to take revenge on evil people . God wants us to love all people . Jesus said , " Do to others as you want them to do to you . " Some people are proud and like to show off . They want others to be impressed with them , even when they pray . Jesus found fault with people like that . He said , " When you pray , pray to your Father God , in secret . God sees what is done in secret and he will reward you . And when you pray , do not use many words or repeat the same thing over and over ; there are people who think they will be heard because of their many words . Do not be like them , for your Father knows what you need before you ask him . Here is an example of how you should pray : " Our Father in heaven , help us to honour your Name . Come and set up your kingdom , so that everyone on earth will obey you , as you are obeyed in heaven . Give us our food for today . Forgive our sins , as we forgive others . Keep us from being tempted and protect us from evil . " The second way is the narrow and difficult way . Only a few people find this way , but it is the way that leads to life with God forever . This is the way that Jesus came to show us . The teachings of Jesus are a strong foundation for our lives . Some people hear his teachings and obey him . Jesus said they are like a wise man that built his house on a rock foundation . Can you identify ( see ) the wise man in the picture ? When the flood came , his house stood firm . Other people hear Jesus ' words , but they do not obey them . Jesus said that they are like a foolish man who built his house on the sand . When the flood came , he lost everything because his house had no foundation . One day Jesus and his disciples went to a town ( village ) called Nain . A large crowd went along with them . On the way they met a funeral procession . The funeral was for the only son of a widow . Jesus understood her sorrow . He said to her , " Don 't cry . " Then he spoke to the dead boy . He said , " Get up ! " Immediately the young man sat up . He was alive again ! The people in the crowd were amazed and they told everyone about it . Through this miracle the people saw that Jesus also had power over death . Do you remember John the Baptist ? He was the one who announced that Jesus was coming . John persuaded many people to follow Jesus . But the wicked king of the country put John in prison , because John spoke out against the evil things the king and some of his family members were doing . While in prison , John heard what Jesus was teaching and doing . So John called for two of his friends . He sent them to Jesus with the question : " Are you really the one from God , or should we look out for another one ? " Jesus answered them in this way , " You have seen the miracles I 'm doing . Go back and tell John about them . Then he will be sure who I am . " Jesus added , " How happy are those who have no doubts about me ! " Later the king had John killed in prison , but John obeyed God to the end and Jesus said that John 's reward in heaven was great . Jesus was invited to eat at the house of a religious leader . A woman who was a prostitute came there to him . A prostitute is someone who sleeps with many different men for money ( has sexual relations with many different people for money ) . This woman began to wash Jesus ' feet with her tears , and poured perfume over them . The religious leaders could not believe that Jesus would allow this sinful woman to touch him . Then Jesus said to her , " Your sins are forgiven . " The woman meant well and showed her faith in Jesus by what she did , but the religious leaders hated him even more . One day Jesus was teaching many people beside the lake of Galilee . He told them about a farmer . The farmer went out to plant seeds . Some seeds fell on the path and the birds ate them . Some fell on rocky ground and when the sun was strong , they dried up . Other seeds fell among thorns . The thorns choked the seedlings . They could not grow properly . Other seeds fell on good , fertile ground . They grew and produced much grain . Jesus told many such stories with hidden meanings . These stories are called parables . He told about a man who sowed good wheat in his field . However , an enemy came at night and sowed weeds in the field among the wheat . When the plants grew and began to ripen , the farmer 's servants could see the weeds . So they came and asked the farmer , " Sir , didn 't you sow good seeds in your field ? Where did the weeds come from ? " " An enemy did this " , the farmer replied . So the workers asked him , " Do you want us to go and pull out the weeds ? " " No " , the farmer answered . " You might also pull out the wheat . Leave the weeds until harvest time . Then I 'll tell my workers : first gather the weeds and tie them up and burn them . Then gather the wheat and I will store it in a safe place . " In this parable Jesus is the One who sows the good seed . The field is the world , and the good seeds are the disciples of Jesus . The unwanted seeds are the bad people who do not believe in Jesus , but follow Satan 's ways . Satan is the enemy who sows them . The harvest time is the end time . The disciples of Jesus and the followers of Satan will live together on this earth until then . God 's children , the followers of Jesus , will be separated from the followers of Satan . All who do evil now , will be treated like weeds . They will be burned by fire . God 's children are like the wheat . God will take them to be with him forever . Jesus told another story about a man who found some treasure hidden in a field . He took the treasure and hid it again , so that no one else could find it . Then he went and sold everything he had , so that he could buy that field where he hid the treasure . Jesus said that the kingdom of God is like that treasure . If we are part of God 's kingdom , we will live with God forever , because we have chosen to believe in him and learn about him through what Jesus teaches . And this is worth more than anything else we have in this life . Jesus taught ordinary people about God . He knew God perfectly , so he taught the people with authority . He was not like the religious leaders of that day . Those leaders taught God 's laws , but they didn 't know or love God . They followed Satan 's ways . One day after Jesus had finished teaching , he told his disciples to take him across the lake in their boat . A great wind arose , and the water came into the boat . The disciples were terrified . They thought they were going to die . But Jesus said to the storm , " Quiet ! Be still ! " Immediately the wind ceased and the waves became calm . The disciples said , " Who is this ? Even the wind and the waves obey him ! " Jesus was showing them that he was also the Lord of the wind and the waves . After the wind and the waves became quiet , Jesus and his disciples came to the other shore of the lake . When Jesus got out of the boat , a man came running to him . This man had many evil spirits , that means bad spirits , also called demons in him . He was so wild that no one could tie him up . He fell on his knees in front of Jesus . Then Jesus commanded the evil spirits ( demons ) to leave the man . The evil spirits ( demons ) left and entered a herd of pigs nearby . The pigs rushed into the lake and drowned . The man went and told many people about the great thing that Jesus had done for him . Everyone learnt through the miracle that evil spirits had to obey Jesus , for he had stronger power than all of them together . Jesus went back to Capernaum , and a great crowd of people pressed around him . There was a sick woman in the crowd . For twelve years she had been sick with a bleeding problem . The woman thought , " If I just touch his clothes , I will be healed . " So she came up behind Jesus and touched his clothes . Immediately she was healed . She did not think that Jesus knew what she had done . But Jesus turned around and spoke to her , " Your faith has healed you . Go in peace . " That woman believed in Jesus and so she was healed . While Jesus was still speaking to the woman , one of the synagogue leaders came to Jesus . He told him , " My little daughter is dying . Please come and heal her . " Jesus went to the leader 's house , but the girl was already dead . Jesus sent everyone outside except for her parents and three of his disciples . Then Jesus took the dead child by the hand . He said to her , " Little girl , get up ! " Immediately the girl came to life again . She stood up and walked around and her family gave her something to eat . From this miracle everyone present saw that Jesus had power over death . One day Jesus called the 12 apostles he had chosen from amongst his disciples , together . We said before that the word apostle means " sent one " . The apostles were to specifically go and teach others what they 've learnt from Jesus . He gave them power to cast out evil spirits or demons and to heal the sick . Then he sent them into the country to preach about the kingdom of God . He said to them , " Do not take anything for your journey . If you go into a house , stay there until you leave . " He warned them that some people would not accept their message . So the apostles went from town ( village ) to town ( village ) healing the sick and telling people about the good news of Jesus who had come to show them the way back to God . The apostles returned from their journeys . They were all tired , so Jesus took them to a quiet place to rest . However , more than 5 000 people followed them . Jesus taught this crowd all day and at the end of the day the people in the crowd were getting hungry . The disciples said to Jesus , " Send the crowd away so they can go to the nearby towns ( villages ) to find food and a place to sleep for the night , because we are in a remote place . " Then Jesus replied , " You give them something to eat ! " One of the disciples , Andrew , then said to Jesus , " Here is a boy with 5 small loaves of bread and two small fish , but how far will they go among so many people ? " Jesus took that small amount of food and gave thanks to God . Then he fed all those people with the five loaves and the two fish . Everybody had enough and there were even 12 baskets of food left over . Then Jesus went away to a mountain to pray . His disciples went away in their boat . Late that night they were in the middle of the lake . The wind was blowing against them and the waters ( waves ) were rough . They were in danger . Then they saw Jesus . He was walking to them on the water ! The disciples were afraid . They thought they saw a ghost . But Jesus said , " It is I , don 't be afraid . " Then he got into the boat and the storm calmed . The disciples were amazed . They worshipped him saying , " Truly , you are the Son of God . " They crossed the lake and came to the other side . The next day the crowd who stayed on the other side of the lake , went searching for Jesus . Some wanted to crown ( make ) him king of the people of Israel . Because they found him on the opposite ( other ) side of the lake , they could not understand how he got there . They asked him , " Master , when did you get here ? " He answered , " You are not looking for me because you saw a miracle , but because you ate the loaves and were filled . Do not only work for food that can spoil . Food for the body can spoil , but seek food that keeps forever and gives eternal life . I will give you this food . " They asked him , " What must we do to please God ? " Jesus answered , " The work of God is this , to believe in the one he has sent . " Jesus said further , " I am the bread of life . He who comes to me , will never go hungry , and he who believes in me , will never be thirsty . I am the living bread that came down from heaven . If anyone eats of this bread , he will live forever . " Many people could not understand this teaching . Some were angry and said , " How could this man give us his flesh to eat ? " From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him . Jesus went to a region called Tyre where a different nation ( tribe ) lived . There a woman came to him . The woman had a little girl at home . There was an evil ( a bad ) spirit , also called a demon , in the girl . The woman begged Jesus to drive the spirit out of her child . Jesus said to her , " The evil spirit ( demon ) has left your daughter . " Immediately the evil spirit ( demon ) left that child even before the mother returned home . The disciples learnt something new through this miracle . That is : The woman whose child Jesus healed , was not a Jew . She was from another country . Jesus and his disciples were all Jews . Jesus went down to the Lake of Galilee , to an area called Decapolis . The people brought a deaf and dumb man to him . Jesus took the man aside , away from the crowd . He put his fingers into the ears of the man and he touched his tongue . Then he looked up to heaven and said with a deep sigh , " Be opened ! " Immediately the man could hear and speak . When people heard of this , more and more of them came to see Jesus . He healed more sick people and he fed another crowd in a miraculous way . This time there were about 4 000 people and Jesus had only seven loaves of bread and a few small fish . The people were amazed by all the things Jesus did . Jesus went to a place called Bethsaida . There some people also brought a blind man to him for healing . Jesus took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the town ( village ) . He touched his eyes and the man began to see a little . The man said , " I see people , they look like trees walking around . " Then Jesus touched his eyes again and then the man could see everything clearly . This was an important question . Had Jesus really come from God ? Had God sent him into the world ? Even though they were the disciples of Jesus , they found it hard to believe . Some of them thought that he was only a great prophet . Do you remember what a prophet is ? A prophet is someone through whom God gives important messages to warn them or to encourage them . But God showed Peter the truth . He understood it clearly . He said to Jesus , " You are the Christ ! You are the Son of the living God . " Yes , this is true . And do you remember what the word " Christ " means ? It means the anointed one or the chosen one . Jesus told the disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ . Jesus told his disciples why they had to keep it quiet for a while . He said , " I am going to be betrayed into the hands of men . They will kill me , and after three days I will rise to life . " The disciples did not understand this , and they could not believe it . A few days later Jesus took three of them to a mountain to pray . They climbed to the top , and as Jesus was praying , his face changed and started to shine like the sun before their eyes , and his clothes became very bright . Two prophets named Moses and Elijah , who had lived many , many years before , appeared with Jesus . They talked with Jesus about the suffering and death that was awaiting him . A bright cloud came over them all , and a voice from the cloud said , " This is my son ; with him I am well pleased . Listen to him . " The disciples fell face down ; they were afraid , but Jesus touched them and said , " Don 't be afraid . " When they looked up , they saw no one except Jesus . Jesus continued to teach them as they came down the mountain . When they came to the other disciples , they saw a large crowd around them . There was a man who brought his son to some of Jesus ' disciples . The boy had an evil ( a bad ) spirit , that is a demon , inside him . It caused him to have terrible fits . The disciples had tried to command / order the evil spirit ( demon ) to go out of the boy , but the evil spirit ( demon ) would not obey them . Jesus commanded the evil spirit to leave the boy . The boy was healed from that moment on . Jesus was the only one who had the power to do this . Jesus and his disciples went on to the town ( village ) called Capernaum . On their arrival , workers from the synagogue who collected temple tax came to Peter . They asked him , " Does your teacher pay the temple tax ? " In those days every family who attended the synagogue , the local place of worship , contributed what they called temple tax for covering some expenses . Peter answered the tax collectors , " Yes , he does . " When later Peter went into the house where Jesus and the disciples stayed , Jesus was the first to speak . He asked Peter , " From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes - from their own sons or from others ? " " From others , " Peter answered . Jesus said , " Then the sons shouldn 't pay tax . But so that we may not offend them , go to the lake and throw out your line . Take the first fish you catch , open its mouth and you will find a coin . Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours . " Jesus came to live on the earth to show us in a perfect way what God is like . Jesus was more than just a prophet . He came from God and he was the revelation of God himself . This is why he is called the Son of God . However , only his closest disciples realised and believed the truth about Jesus . Jesus continued to teach his followers . He taught them by telling stories called parables . These stories have hidden meanings . Only those who believe in him , can understand these stories . Pictures 61 - 78 show us more of these parables . They teach us things that are true about the kingdom of God and how we can become children of God . Come and listen to some of these parables . People always want to feel important . One day , the disciples asked Jesus , " Who is the greatest in the kingdom of God ? " Jesus called a little child to stand among them . He said , " I tell you the truth ; if you don 't change and become like little children , you will never enter the kingdom of God . Whoever humbles himself like this child , is the greatest in the kingdom of God . And he who welcomes a little child like this in my Name , welcomes me . " Jesus told his disciples a parable about a sheep . The story has a hidden meaning . One day a sheep became lost from its shepherd and the rest of the sheep . The shepherd cared about that sheep , so he left the other sheep , and went to search for the lost one . When he found it , he was very happy . This is the meaning of the story : God does not want to lose any one of his children . We are his children if we believe in him and obey his words . He loves each one of his children very much . If even one of his children is lost from him , he will search for that person until he finds him or her . One of the disciples asked Jesus this question , " How many times shall I forgive my brother when he does something wrong against me ? Up to 7 times ? " Jesus answered him , " I tell you , not 7 times , but 70 times 7 at least . Listen to this : " A poor servant owed his master a lot of money , but he could not pay it back . He did not have enough money . The master felt sorry for him and forgave him the whole debt . Then the servant went out and he met a fellow servant who owed him only a small amount of money . The servant grabbed his fellow servant and said , ' Pay back what you owe me ! ' But the fellow servant could not pay , so what do you think the servant did ? Did he forgive his fellow servant ? No ! He put him in prison . " But later the master heard what had happened . He was very angry with his servant , because this servant did not show pity on his fellow servant . The master then put this servant into prison . " Jesus said , " This is how my heavenly Father will treat each one of you unless you forgive other people from your heart . " Why ? It is because God has forgiven a great debt of sin to everyone who believes and follows him . Now also He expects every believer to forgive those who sin against them . One day Jesus was in the temple in Jerusalem . Do you remember that the temple was the main place where people worshipped and prayed to God ? There the religious leaders brought a woman to Jesus . They said , " Teacher , this woman was caught in the act of adultery . " Adultery here means she cheated her husband by having relations with another man . The religious leaders asked Jesus , " Now , what do you say ? " They wanted to stone her to death . But Jesus said , " Is there someone here who has not sinned and disobeyed God 's will for man ? Let that person throw the first stone at her . " One by one the religious leaders left the temple . Then Jesus asked the woman , " Woman , where are they ? Has no one condemned you ? " " No one , Sir " she said . Then Jesus answered , " Then neither do I condemn you . Go now , and stop your life of sin . " The religious leaders knew that they were sinners also , like anyone else , but they hated Jesus for saying it in public . As Jesus left the temple , he saw a man who was born blind . The disciples thought that the blindness had come because he or his family had sinned . Jesus did not agree . He said , " This man is not blind because of his sin and it is not because of his parents ' sin . This happened so that everyone can see the work of God in him . " Then Jesus healed the man and he saw clearly . The man went and told everyone how Jesus had healed him . But the religious leaders were even angrier than before . Jesus told a parable against the religious leaders . He said that they were like hired shepherds . Shepherds are people who look after sheep . A hired shepherd cares about his pay , but he does not care so much for the sheep , because he doesn 't own them . The religious leaders in Israel were like that . They did not care for God 's people , and they would not believe in Jesus , whom God had sent to teach the people and take away their sin . Jesus said , " I have come that my sheep may have life , and have it to the full . I am the good shepherd . I will give my life for my sheep . " Jesus also told them he is like the gate of the sheepfold . You can see that in the picture . Whoever enters through him , will be saved . The sheep are safe while the shepherd guards the gate . Jesus protects his people so that evil cannot come and destroy them . So the religious leader asked back , " And who is my neighbour ? " In reply Jesus said , " A man was travelling down a lonely road . Robbers attacked him and left him almost dead . Two religious Jews came along . They saw the injured man , but they did not help him . Then a man from another tribe came along the road . He felt sorry for the man . He stopped and took care of him . He cleaned his wounds and took him to a safe place . From this parable we learn that those religious people did not show God 's love to the injured man . To be religious will not give anyone eternal life . Religion cannot make us love God and other people ; we have to understand that God loves us first and accept God 's love for us , and his forgiveness for our sin . Then we will be able to love God and also love all other people from all other nations and tribes , just like the foreigner loved and felt pity for the injured man . In the picture we see Jesus visiting at the house of two sisters . Their names were Mary and Martha . Jesus was a friend of this family . Mary sat at Jesus ' feet . She wanted to hear everything he said . But Martha had much housework . She said to Jesus , " Lord , do you not care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself ? Tell her to help me ! " Jesus answered , " Martha , you are worried and upset about many things , but only one thing is needed . Mary has chosen something better , and it will not be taken away from her . " To know Jesus and his way is more important than the concerns of this life . " Father , help us to honor your Name . Come and set up your kingdom , so that everyone on earth will obey you , as you are obeyed in heaven . Give us our food for today . Forgive our sins , as we forgive others . Keep us from being tempted and protect us from evil . " A man went to his friend in the middle of the night . He called out , " Friend , lend me some loaves of bread . Another friend of mine has come to me , and I have nothing to give him . " The friend said , " Don 't bother me . The door is already locked and my family and I are in bed sleeping . I can 't get up now to give you anything . " However , the man kept knocking . So the friend got up out of bed and gave him what he needed . The friend in the parable took care of the need the man had . Even more certainly God hears his children if they continue to pray to him . He will also give his Holy Spirit to those who really seek him . Jesus warned people not to be greedy . He told a story about a rich man . The rich man was a farmer who owned ( had ) a lot of property . The land produced many food products to sell . So he built many store houses to keep all the produce . He said , " I have plenty for many years . I can take life easy . " But God said to him , " You fool . This night you will die . Then who will get what you have stored up for yourself ? " That night the rich man died . All his work and all his money were no good to him any more . Jesus said , " This is how it will be with anyone who stores up earthly or material things for himself . " We should not just live and work to fill our stomachs , but we should seek to live according to God 's will for our lives : to love God and to do good to other people . Then we shall have riches in heaven as well . Jesus talked about this a few times , saying that he was going to die soon , but that he would rise from the dead after three days and go back to heaven where he had come from . In this picture Jesus also explained to them that one day he will return from heaven . When he returns , his people who are ready and waiting for him , will receive their reward . Jesus said : " Be dressed , don 't be lazy and be watchful . Be like men waiting for their master to return from a wedding feast , so that when he comes and knocks , they can immediately open the door for him . It will be good for those servants if the master finds them watching when he comes . . . It will be good for those servants if the master finds them ready , even if he comes late at night . You should be ready , because I will come at an hour when you do not expect me . " One Sabbath day Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues , which were local places of worship / prayer houses . There was a crippled woman who had been bent over for 18 years . Jesus healed her so that she could stand up straight again . How she praised God for what happened to her ! The people , who were watching , were delighted . But again , the religious leaders of the synagogue were angry , because Jesus did this miracle on the Sabbath day . The religious leaders accused Jesus of breaking God 's Law . They said Jesus worked on the Sabbath , while God 's Book , the Bible , says that you should not work on a Sabbath day . One religious leader said at this meeting , " There are six days for work . So come and be healed on those days , not on the Sabbath . " Jesus answered him , " You hypocrites ! Doesn 't each of you on the Sabbath untie his ox or donkey and lead it out to the water to drink ? Then should not this woman , whom Satan has kept bound for 18 long years , be set free on the Sabbath day from what bound her ? " Jesus knew that he did not dishonour God by what he did for the woman . He was doing God 's will when he healed her . On another Sabbath day , Jesus healed another sick man . Again the religious leaders were angry . Then Jesus told them this story : A man gave a feast . He invited many special guests . However , every one of them made excuses for why they could not come . So the man said to his servants , " Go out quickly into the streets and bring in to my feast the poor , the crippled people , the blind and the lame . Go out to the roads and make them come in , so that my house can be full . " Jesus was saying that the religious leaders were like the special guests in the parable . They were important religious leaders who should have taught the people God 's will , but they refused to accept God 's invitation to come to him by believing in Jesus . Now God invites all people to come to him . The religious leaders were also angry because Jesus liked to spend time with poor people and sinners , so Jesus told them this story . He said , " A woman had ten silver coins and she lost one . She lit a lamp and searched the house . At last she found it . She was very happy . She called her friends to come and they all rejoiced with her . " Jesus said , " In the same way , there is rejoicing in heaven when one sinner turns to God . " Every single person on this earth is important to God : old people , young people and the little children , male and female . He wants everyone to turn from sin and from Satan 's lies and come to him . God is the one who created us , loves us and knows what is best for us . He and all the angels in heaven rejoice ( are so happy ) whenever anyone turns back to Him . Jesus told yet another parable to explain this important matter a bit more clearly : It is about a son who was rebellious and stubborn . The boy lived with his older brother on his father 's farm . But one day this boy said to his father , " Give me my share of your property , my inheritance , now . " Well , because the father had two sons , he gave this boy one half of everything he owned . The boy left home and went to live in a far country . He had not learnt how to take responsibility and how to manage what he had received . So he ended up wasting all his money in wild living . He didn 't save any money and he did not think it was necessary to find a job . At last , all his money was gone . The rebellious son had nothing to eat . He had to look for a job , but these were difficult times . There was a famine in the land . He only found a job feeding pigs , for which he got a place to stay . But he still didn 't have any food yet . So he came to his senses and began to think about his life . He said to himself , " My father 's servants have plenty of food , and here I am starving to death . I will go back to my father and say to him , ' Father , I have sinned against you . You should not call me your son anymore , but make me one of your servants , ' " So the son decided to return to his father 's house . The father loved the boy very much . He was hoping that his son would return . When the boy was still a long way off , his father saw him coming home and felt great pity for him . He ran to meet the boy and welcomed him with great joy . He forgave him and took him back as his own son . God is also like this father . And we are all like the rebellious son . We all went away from our heavenly Father , our Creator , and his will for our lives , wasting our lives in sinful living . But God , our heavenly Father , loves and forgives every person who confesses his or her sin and turns back to God . To confess means that a person acknowledges ( admits ) that he or she has done wrong . Jesus taught the people much about money . He also warned how people 's love for money or worldly riches can harm their relationship with God . This happens when our love of earthly things is stronger than our love for God and what is important to him . This was one of the reasons the religious leaders hated Jesus ; they loved money . This was why they did not take notice of the poor . So Jesus told them this parable : There was a very rich man who lived in great wealth . At his gate sat a poor beggar . He was sick and hungry , but the rich man would not help him . After some time , the poor man died and the angels carried him to heaven where God the Father is . There the poor man found rest and comfort . This parable teaches us that the only way to get to heaven is to believe in Jesus , follow him and obey his Word . Don 't wait until you have died to seek God . Then it will be too late . Many people believed what Jesus taught them while he was on earth . These were usually ordinary people like Mary and Martha . They were also human beings , like you and me . But ( we see that ) most of the important people , the rich people and the religious leaders would not believe . The religious leaders especially , were also like wicked shepherds who did not care for God 's people who were put under their care . Through the parables Jesus warned all of these unbelievers . Now we must learn more about how Jesus Christ , his teachings and his miraculous works were finally rejected ( not accepted ) by the leaders in the Jewish society to the extent that he was sentenced to death and killed . These leaders were the religious leaders . In the meantime Jesus continued to teach the people and do miracles . One of these miracles happened in the family of Mary and Martha . Look at picture 79 . This picture shows an amazing thing that happened . Do you remember those friends of Jesus called Mary and Martha ? They had a brother called Lazarus . One day Lazarus became very sick . Jesus was not with them at that time and before He came to them , Lazarus died . The family bound his body in grave clothes and put him in a cave . That 's how people were buried in those days . Then they rolled a huge stone across the entrance . Four days later Jesus came to be with the family . Mary and Martha said , " Lord , if you had been here , our brother would not have died . " Jesus said , " Your brother will rise again . " Jesus wanted them to trust in him , not just for this life , but also for life after death . So he said , " I am the resurrection and the life ; he who believes in me , will live even though he dies . " They went to the cave . Jesus said to the people , " Take away the stone . " Then he prayed and said , " Father , I thank you that you have heard me . I know that you always hear me , but I said this so that these people can hear and believe that you sent me . " Then Jesus called out , " Lazarus , come out ! " Lazarus came out . Then Jesus said , " Unbind him and let him go . " Jesus had raised Lazarus from the dead . The people were amazed and many believed in Jesus , but the religious leaders hated him still more and sought ways to kill him . Therefore Jesus stopped moving in public among the Jews ; he withdrew to a place near the desert where he stayed for a while with his disciples . Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem , the capital ( main ) city when 10 men met him on the way . They were sick with the infectious disease called leprosy , so they did not come close to Jesus . They stood at a distance and called out , " Jesus , Master , have pity on us ! " Jesus sent them on their way . As they went , they were all miraculously healed . One of them came back to Jesus to thank him . This man belonged to a different tribe . He was not a Jew like Jesus . He fell at Jesus ' feet and praised God . So Jesus said , " Were not all ten healed ? Where are the other nine ? Did no one return and give praise to God except for this foreigner ( foreign man ) ? " Then Jesus said to the man , " Get up and go ; your faith has made you well ( because you believed , you were healed ) . " Jesus continued to teach as he travelled . He told his disciples this parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up praying . A wicked judge did not fear God or care about anyone . One day a poor widow came to him and said , " Give me justice against my enemy . " But the judge would not do it . She came to him again and again . After a while , the judge said , " I don 't fear God or care about people . But because this woman keeps bothering me , I will see that she gets justice . " Jesus said God is not like that wicked judge . God wants to hear and answer our prayers . He will bring justice to his children ( treat his children right ) and quickly . He won 't keep putting them off . Some people , who heard Jesus teach , were very proud . In their own eyes they were satisfied and pleased with the way they served God . And they were proud of themselves and thought they were better than other people . So Jesus told this story about two men : They both went up to the temple to pray . The one man was very religious . He was very pleased with himself . In his prayer he told God how good he was . He said , " God , I thank you that I am not like other men , robbers , evildoers , adulterers ( people who cheat on their husbands or wives ) , or even like this tax collector . I do many good deeds . " But God was not pleased with this man . The other man , the tax collector , stood right at the back of the temple and said to God , " God , have mercy on me , a sinner . " God was pleased with this man , said Jesus . He also said , " Everyone who thinks he is great , will be made humble . Everyone who humbles himself will be made great . " Some people brought little children to Jesus . They wanted him to touch them . The disciples did not think that children were important , so they told the people to go away . However , Jesus said , " Let the little children come to me . Do not hinder them . The kingdom of God belongs to people who are like these children . I tell you the truth , anyone who will not become part of the kingdom of God , by receiving God 's forgiveness like a little child , will never enter it . " This means people who want to follow Jesus , must believe in him . They must trust him like a child trusts a good and beloved parent . That is the only way to enter God 's kingdom . A rich young man asked Jesus , " What must I do to live forever ( get everlasting life ) ? " The rich man was a leader , an important man in the community among his fellow men . He was also a good person . He said he had kept all the commandments of God since he was a boy . Jesus loved this young man and said to him , " You still need to do one thing . Sell everything you have and give it to the poor , and you will have treasure ( riches , something valuable / something worth much ) in heaven . Then come and follow me . " The man went away and was very sad . His earthly possessions were too important to him . He did not want to give away his material possessions . He did not understand or believe that he could trust Jesus to give him something much better . He could , give him everlasting life , that is a life forever with God . Do you believe in Jesus , and do you live according to what he teaches ? What reward can you expect from him ? Jesus told this story about rewards : A landowner was paying his workers . Some of them had worked all day , so he gave them a full day 's pay . Some had only worked part of the day , but he gave them a full day 's pay as well . Then those who worked the full day complained . They did not think it was fair . But the landowner said to them , " I have not been unfair to you . Didn 't you agree to work for the amount you received ? Take you pay and go . I want to give the men who were hired later in the day , the same as I gave you . Don 't I have the right to do what I want with my own money ? Do not be jealous and greedy because I am generous ! " God is like this landowner . He wants to give eternal life with God to anyone who believes in Jesus and follows him . We cannot earn this everlasting life ( life that never ends ) by how many good deeds we do . God wants to do this because he loves people and wants what is good for everyone . As Jesus went on to Jerusalem , He came to a city ( big village ) called Jericho . There a blind beggar sat beside the road . His name was Bartimaeus . Bartimaeus heard that Jesus was on his way and Bartimaeus started to shout , " Jesus , have mercy on me ! " It means " Jesus , have compassion on me and help me ! " Some people in the crowd rebuked Bartimaeus and told him to keep quiet , but he shouted again . Jesus stopped and asked Bartimaeus , " What do you want me to do for you ? " He replied , " Lord , I want to see . " Jesus said to him , " Because you have believed in me , I will heal you . " And immediately Bartimaeus could see ! In this city ( big village ) of Jericho lived a tax collector named Zacchaeus . He was a very short man . He wanted to see Jesus , but in the crowd he could not see him . There were just too many people . So he climbed into a tree as Jesus passed by . Jesus saw Zacchaeus in the tree and said to him , " Zacchaeus , come down immediately . I must stay at your house today . " The people were surprised and complained about this . They knew that Zacchaeus was a bad man who cheated people . But Zacchaeus received Jesus with great joy . He decided to change his lifestyle and give up his bad , sinful ways . Then Jesus said , " Today people were saved in this house ; for I came to seek and save those who are lost . " Jesus travelled further on to Jerusalem . He sent two of his disciples ahead of him . He told them : " Go to the town ( village ) ahead of you , and as you enter it , you will find a donkey tied there . No one has ever ridden on it . Untie it and bring it here . If anybody asks you why you have untied it , tell him , ' The Lord needs it . ' " Many people saw Jesus riding the donkey ; they thought he was coming to be their king . So they led him into the city of Jerusalem , the capital city , while they called out , " Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord . " There were many people who welcomed and honoured Jesus in this way . In Jerusalem , Jesus went to the temple , the main place of worship . There he saw that some people showed no respect for God . They were selling animals for sacrifice and were cheating the people too . So Jesus tipped over their tables and drove them out . He said , " My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations , but you have made it a den of robbers . " The religious leaders heard this , and were still looking for every possible opportunity to kill Jesus , because they were afraid of him . More and more people believed his teachings and much of that teaching was against the religion they practiced . This was another story Jesus told against the religious leaders : A landowner planted a vineyard . Then he decided to rent that vineyard out to some farmers . So he did , and went away . At harvest time he sent one of his servants to the farmers to collect from them some of the fruit of the vineyard for rental payment . But the farmers ( tenants ) beat the man and sent him away with nothing . The man sent many other servants after that to collect his payment . The farmers beat some of them . They killed others . Last of all the landowner sent his son whom ( that ) he loved , but the farmers killed him too . Jesus asked , " What will the owner of the vineyard do ? He will kill those farmers and give the vineyard to others . " Yes , the wicked religious leaders were just like the farmers in the vineyards . They did not love God . They refused to believe his messengers , the prophets , who promised the coming of God 's anointed one to the earth . One of the things they did , was to send other people to test Jesus with difficult questions . They wanted him to say something wrong against the government . At that time , the king was called Caesar . Some people asked Jesus , " Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar ? " Jesus answered , " Why are you trying to trap me ? Bring me a coin . " They brought a coin and he looked at it . Then he asked them , " Whose portrait is on the coin ? " They replied , " Caesar 's . " Then Jesus said to them , " Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar , and give to God what belongs to God . " Jesus answered all their hard questions well , and they could not find anything wrong to accuse him of . One day Jesus was sitting in the temple opposite the place where people put the offerings they brought . He watched the people and noticed rich people bring large offerings of money . Then a poor widow came in . She gave only two small coins . Immediately Jesus called his disciples to him and said , " Do you see this poor widow ? She has put more in the offering box than all the other people . They gave what they had left over from their wealth , but she has given everything she had . " The buildings of the temple were very beautiful . Jesus ' disciples were looking at these buildings from the outside . Then Jesus said , " Do you see all these great buildings ? Not one stone will be left on another , every one will be thrown down . " This meant that the temple would soon be destroyed . He also told them about the end time . He told them what was going to happen before the end time on earth . He said there will be wars and famines and earthquakes before the end time . Many people who believe in Jesus will be persecuted and killed . Today we do see these things happen . But there is also another sign of the end times : The good news about Jesus who takes away people 's sin , will be preached through the whole world and then the end will come . At the end time he will come back to the earth . Jesus told his disciples another parable to explain how his return to the earth will happen . He said , " There were 10 young virgin women . They were waiting for a wedding feast to begin . Five of them were wise and five of them were foolish women . " They all expected the bridegroom to come during the night , so they went out with lamps to meet him . But the bridegroom took longer that they expected . The five foolish women did not take enough oil for their lamps , so after a while they had to go and buy more oil . While they were away , the bridegroom arrived . Those who were ready went with him to the wedding feast and the door was shut . When the foolish women came back later , they called out , ' Open the door for us ! ' But the bridegroom replied , ' I don 't know you . ' So the foolish women could not attend the feast , because they did not have enough oil . They should have been ready at the time the bridegroom arrived . " This story has a warning for every person : Jesus , who is in heaven now , will return to the earth , just as he promised . He will come suddenly . Some people will be ready . They will enter the place that God has prepared for them with Jesus , and they will live there forever . Others that will not be ready will be left outside forever . Jesus said , " Therefore be on the lookout and ready , because you do not know when I will return . " Jesus told his disciples another story to explain the time of his return . The story was about a rich man who went on a journey . Before he left his home , he called his servants . He trusted them with his money to invest while he was gone . Then the man went on his journey . Two of his servants worked responsibly with his money . They gained more money for their master . But the other servant was afraid that he would lose the money he received , so he hid the money in the ground . Eventually the master returned . He said to the servants who made more money for him , " Well done . You are good servants . I could trust you with a few things I put under your care . Now I will put you in charge of more things . " He gave them their reward . But he was angry with the lazy servant who was afraid and threw him out of his house . Jesus wants everybody to be ready for his return . On that day , he will come in great glory , bringing all the angels of heaven with him . He will judge all people , men and women . He will be like a shepherd who separates the sheep from the goats . We have learnt that Jesus knew all about the religious leaders ' plans to kill him . But he told his disciples that it was all part of God 's plan . Jesus had to complete his work on earth by dying for all people , but he promised that he would rise again and that he would go back to heaven , and after many years he will return to the earth to take his followers , to be with him forever . Jesus taught and did many miracles on earth for three years , from age 30 to age 33 . He showed the people what God is like . God is good , but Satan is evil . Satan worked in the hearts of the Jewish leaders in Israel to have Jesus killed . Listen to what happened while you watch pictures 97 - 108 . Jesus went to the town ( village ) of Bethany . There he spent time at the house of a man called Simon the leper . That evening he went to a dinner served in his honour . Do you remember Lazarus , whom Jesus had raised from the dead ? He had 2 sisters , Mary and Martha . Mary arrived at Simon 's house with a jar of very expensive perfume . She poured it over Jesus . One of the disciples , called Judas Iscariot , was angry about this . He said , " Why was this perfume not sold and given to the poor ? It was worth a year 's wages ! " He did not say this because he cared about the poor , but because he was a thief . He was also the keeper of the purse and he sometimes stole some of the money Jesus and all the disciples received to live on . But Jesus said , " Leave her alone . You will always have the poor with you , but you will not always have me . She poured the perfume on my body to prepare for my burial . " This showed again that Jesus knew the leaders planned to kill him very soon . After this , Judas went to the Jewish priests to discuss with them how he was going to betray Jesus to them . He offered to help them arrest Jesus . The priests were delighted . They gave Judas thirty silver coins as payment . So he agreed and watched out for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to the religious leaders . But Jesus knew what Judas was doing . On their way from Bethany to Jerusalem , Jesus sent two of his disciples ahead to Jerusalem saying , " Go into the city ; a man carrying a jar of water will meet you . Follow him . Say to the owner of the house he enters , ' the Teacher asks : Where is the guest room , where I may eat the Passover with my disciples ? ' He will show you a large ( upper ) room , furnished and ready . Make preparation for us there . " The disciples left and found everything just as Jesus had told them . So they prepared to celebrate the feast called " Passover " . Can you remember what the Passover feast is ? During this feast the Jewish people remembered what God had done for the Jews many , many years before . They remembered how God delivered them out of a foreign country where they suffered much and had to work hard under bad bosses . The Jews remembered how God protected their forefathers against their enemies and gave them the country of Israel to live in . During that Passover meal , the disciples started to argue with each other about who was the most important among them . Jesus got up from the table . He took some water and a towel . Then he washed the feet of each one of his disciples . He said to them , " Do you understand what I have done for you ? You call me Teacher and Lord , and that 's right . Now that I , your Lord and Teacher , have washed your feet , you should wash one another 's feet . " Jesus was teaching them who are the most important in the kingdom of God . It is those who are willing to serve others . Jesus gave his disciples something else to remember at their Passover feast . As he broke the bread and gave it to the disciples to eat , he said , " Take it and eat it ; this is my body . " Then he passed the cup around and said , " This is my blood . It is poured out for many people for the forgiveness of sins . " Then Jesus said , " Do this in future to remember me . " But his disciples then did not understand why he did this . He told them again that he had to die soon . But Peter was upset about his words . He said , " Lord , why can 't I follow you now ? I will lay down my life for you . " Jesus answered , " Will you really lay down you life for me ? I tell you the truth , before the cock crows , you will deny that you know me three times . " The disciples did not understand that Jesus ' death would be the sacrifice for the sin of all people . Sins are the things that control them and cause suffering . Jesus had to die , so that people who live in sin , can receive forgiveness for that sin , and can be set free from sin . The disciples also didn 't know the great suffering and the kind of death that awaited Jesus . But Jesus knew . He also knew that they would run away in fear and leave him later that very night . At this Passover meal Jesus taught his disciples another important thing . He said , " I am the grapevine , you are the branches . If someone remains in me , he or she will bear much fruit ; apart from me you can do nothing . " But Jesus said that some people will not produce fruit for God , so he will cut them out of the vine . They will be like dry branches gathered up and burned in a fire . ( Bible for Today 's Family ) Then Jesus prayed for his disciples . He asked God to make them strong in difficult times . After this Jesus and some of his disciples went to a garden called Gethsemane . It was late at night . Jesus told three of them to keep watch . He went aside and prayed again , but the three disciples fell asleep . In the picture you can see them . Jesus was praying alone . He was greatly troubled , because he knew he had to suffer much and die very soon . He asked God for strength to do what God wanted him to do : that was , to suffer at the hands of men and die for the sins of all people . As Jesus was speaking with his disciples in the garden of Gethsemane , Judas Iscariot came to Gethsemane . He led a crowd of people , including a number of soldiers and some officials who were sent by the religious leaders . They were armed with clubs and swords . Judas told these men , " I will kiss one man . He is the one you want ; arrest him . " Then Judas went to Jesus , greeted and kissed him . The soldiers took hold of Jesus and arrested him . The disciples were very much afraid . They left Jesus and ran away . The soldiers tied Jesus up and took him away to the Jewish leaders . The apostle Peter followed at a distance . He wanted to see what would happen to Jesus . The leaders and the priests questioned Jesus . They found people to tell lies about him , but their statements were not the same . The chief ( high ) priest said to Jesus , " Are you the Christ , the Son of God ? " And Jesus said , " I am . " So they said he must die because he claimed to be the Christ , the Son of God . They beat him and spat in his face . Peter was warming himself at a fire outside , when a servant girl recognised him and said , " You also were with Jesus . " But Peter denied it because he was afraid of what could happen to him . " I don 't know what you are talking about , " he said . Three times he said that he did not know Jesus . Suddenly a cock crowed and then Peter remembered what Jesus had said to him at the Passover feast , " Before the cock crows , you will deny that you know me three times . " Peter was ashamed because he had denied knowing the Christ . He went out and wept bitterly . The priests agreed that Jesus should die . They were not allowed to carry out a death sentence , so they sent Jesus to one of the political leaders . He was the Roman governor and his name was Pilate . He had the power to sentence people to death . The Jews wanted Pilate to sentence Jesus , but Pilate said , " I cannot find any reason to kill him . " However , the soldiers beat Jesus . They made a crown out of thorns and pressed it on his head . They laughed at him , and they mocked him by calling him " king of the Jews " . Pilate wanted to let Jesus go free , but the crowd called out , " Crucify him ! Crucify him ! " Pilate was afraid that the crowd would become violent . The religious leaders succeeded in stirring up the people in the crowd by falsely accusing Jesus . They forced Pilate to condemn Jesus to death . Pilate wanted to prevent a breakout of violence . He was also afraid of the Jewish leaders , because they warned him that if he should release Jesus , the people would think he was against Caesar , the king over Israel and many other countries at that time . It was because Jesus was known as king of the Jews . So Pilate gave in and handed Jesus over to be crucified . What does it mean to be crucified ? Listen further . Soldiers took Jesus away to put him to death . They made him carry a big wooden cross , which were two wooden poles nailed across each other . You can see it in the picture . Then they went to a place outside the city called Golgotha . Golgotha means ' the place of the skull ' . The soldiers took Jesus ' clothes and divided them among themselves . They nailed him to the cross through his hands and his feet . Then they raised the cross to stand upright . It was 9 o ' clock in the morning when they crucified Jesus . Two other criminals were crucified beside Jesus . They all had to hang on the crosses until they died . After 3 hours , at midday , a great darkness covered the land . For 3 hours it was very dark . After 6 hours on the cross Jesus called out in triumph , " It is finished . " Then he died . One officer , that is a soldier in charge of other soldiers , stood there the whole time . He was amazed and said , " This man was really the Son of God . " Yes , Jesus really died . His work on earth was finished , just as he said on the cross . Jesus never sinned , but he came to die as a sacrifice for the sin of all people . Why ? Because all people have sinned against God , and the punishment for sin is death and everlasting separation from God . Before God , people cannot find forgiveness for their sin , unless blood is offered . That 's why the priests in the temple always offered animals before God and then prayed to God for the people . But no animal can really pay for the sin of man . That 's why Jesus , who was perfect , without sin , was the perfect sacrifice . He offered his blood as a sacrifice for the sin of all people when he died on the cross as an innocent man . Yes , because he was without sin , he was the only acceptable sacrifice before God . God loved us so much that he gave his only Son to die , to save us from sin and everlasting death . After Jesus had died on the cross , a soldier stuck a spear into his body to make sure he was really dead . But this was not the end of Jesus . Wait and see . . . the greatest miracle of all was still going to happen . There was a disciple of Jesus named Joseph from a place called Arimathea . He was a rich man . He had made a new tomb for himself in a garden near the place where Jesus died . Nicodemus was an important religious leader . He was the one who came to Jesus one night for teaching . Well , Nicodemus helped Joseph to take the body of Jesus down from the cross and they laid the body in the new tomb . Some men rolled a great stone across the entrance . Then Pilate sent soldiers to guard the tomb . He did this because the religious leaders asked him to guard the grave . They heard that Jesus had promised to rise from the dead . They did not believe this . But they were afraid that Jesus ' disciples would steal the body of Jesus and then tell everybody that he was raised from the dead . But on the third day after Jesus died , a wonderful thing happened . At the break of day a few women who had followed Jesus , went to look at the tomb . There was a great earthquake . An angel of God came down from heaven and rolled back the stone door before the grave opening and he went and sat on it . The soldiers guarding the tomb were so afraid that they fell down like dead men . The angel spoke to the women . He said , " Do not be afraid . I know you are looking for Jesus who was crucified . He is not here ; he has risen , just as he said . Come and see the place where he lay . Then go quickly and tell his disciples he has risen from the dead . " Some women ran and told the disciples that Jesus had risen from the dead , but they did not believe them . So Peter and John also ran to the tomb . They saw that only the grave cloths were left in the tomb where the body had been . Nobody had touched the grave clothes , but the body of Jesus was not there . When John saw it all , he believed . They went home , but they still did not understand why Jesus had to rise from the dead . After John and Peter had gone home , one of the women , Mary Magdalene , stayed at the tomb . She was crying . She looked into the tomb and saw two angels where the body of Jesus was . They said , " Why are you crying ? " " They have taken the body of my Lord Jesus away , and I don 't know where they have put him , " Mary said . Suddenly Jesus himself appeared . Mary did not recognise him ( did not realize it was Jesus ) . He asked her , " Woman , why are you crying ? Who is it you are looking for ? " She thought he was the gardener , and that he had taken the body of Jesus . So she said , " Sir , if you have carried him away , tell me where you have put him . . . " Then Jesus said to her , " Mary ! " Immediately she knew his voice . It was Jesus speaking to her ! That same day two other disciples left Jerusalem to walk to a place called Emmaus . They were very sad . They did not know that Jesus rose from the dead . They talked about the death of Jesus . Suddenly Jesus was walking beside them . They did not know that it was Jesus - they did not recognise him . He talked with them and explained why the Christ had to die . The men asked him to stay with them . Later , at the table with them , Jesus took bread , broke it and gave it to them . Then they recognised him . They realised that their guest was Jesus Christ himself . Then he disappeared from their sight . Immediately the two disciples went back to Jerusalem . They told the other disciples , " We have seen Jesus ! " While they were still speaking , Jesus suddenly stood among them . He said , " Peace be with you . " They were all amazed and also afraid . They thought they saw a ghost ( a spirit ) . But Jesus said to them , " Why are you troubled and why do you doubt ? Look at my hands and my feet . It is I myself ! Touch me and see . A ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see I have . " He showed them the nail marks in his hands and feet . They knew for certain that this man was Jesus and they could all see that he was alive again . He also ate some baked fish with them . When Jesus appeared to the disciples , one disciple named Thomas was not with them . So they told him later that Jesus was alive , but Thomas did not believe them . A week later they were all together again . This time Thomas was with them . All the doors were locked because they were afraid of the Jews , especially the Jewish leaders . Once again Jesus appeared to them all . He said to Thomas , " Put your finger here . See the nail marks in my hands . Reach out your hand and put it where the spear went into my side . Stop doubting and believe . " Then Thomas also believed . He knelt in front of Jesus and said , " My Lord and my God ! " Jesus said to him , " Because you have seen me , you have believed . How happy are those who have not seen me and still believe in me . " Some of the disciples went back to Galilee . One night they went fishing but they did not catch anything . Just as the sun rose , they saw a man on the beach . He called to them , " Throw your nets on the right side of the boat and you will catch some fish . " They did what he told them and caught many fish . Suddenly they realised ( knew ) that the man on the beach was Jesus . They brought the fish to the shore . There on the beach they talked and ate breakfast with Jesus again . He encouraged them to continue to obey him and everything he taught them . Another time , the disciples were together on a mountain in Galilee . Jesus appeared to them there and said , " God the Father has given me all authority in heaven and on earth . You must go and make people my disciples in all nations on earth . Baptise them in the name of the Father , the Son and the Holy Spirit . Teach them to obey me . Know for sure that I am with you to the end . " Jesus led his disciples to a mountain outside Jerusalem . He told them , " Do not leave Jerusalem , but wait for the gift my Father promised . . . that is , you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you , and you will be my witnesses . . . to the ends of the earth . " After he said this , he was taken up before their eyes into the clouds of heaven . They were still looking up at the sky as he was going , when two angels appeared . They said , " This same Jesus who has been taken from you into heaven , will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven . " The disciples returned to Jerusalem with great joy . There they waited , just as Jesus told them to do , and they prayed together . After ten days God sent his Holy Spirit to them . The Holy Spirit gave them great boldness . They went out and began to tell people everywhere about Jesus : what he came to do on the earth and why . Many people believed and were baptized . This is how the Christian Church began . heaven . So he is still alive in heaven today . Jesus hears the prayers of every person who believes in him . Jesus speaks to God for us . Here on earth his Holy Spirit guides and helps us and prays with us in our daily lives until we die . Won 't you come to Jesus now ? Turn from the wrong things in your life . Ask him to forgive your sins . Ask his Holy Spirit to control your life . He will teach you more about God as you learn from the Bible , the book in which everything we need to know about God , is written . The Holy Spirit will teach you . He wants to give you new life . It is an everlasting life of joy and peace with God . And remember , one day Jesus will return on the clouds of heaven . He will reign in peace over all those who believe in Him . Jesus is not only a man or a prophet of God . Jesus is God 's Son and he showed us what God is like in a perfect way . That 's why Jesus is also called Immanuel ( Matt . 1 : 23 ) , because he came to the earth to live among people . Immanuel means " God with us " . Jesus existed from the beginning . He lives today and he will live forever . Well , it is important to know that Jesus Christ loves all people and wants to give all of us life that never ends ( everlasting or eternal life ) with God . He wants us to be with him forever . He wants us to receive God 's forgiveness for all our sin . He wants us to know God and understand his will for our life . Once we understand God 's will , we will not be satisfied with our old ways any more . We must also ask him and trust him to forgive our sins . We can speak to God in prayer . He will hear us . We can start by praying like this , " Lord , I am a sinner . I need you to forgive my sin . Thank you for dying on the cross for my sin . Thank you for rising from death so that I can also live forever with you . Please send your Holy Spirit into my life . Help me to honour you ( obey you because you know what is best for me ) , ( and ) because you are the only true God . Amen . " |
I had been going through hell with all of the burning pain and having a constant audience . I was still resenting the fact the Cullens insisted I be changed because they feared the Volturi . It really didn 't make me feel any better that Edward was close by . True he was against my being turned but he did eventually side with his father just to keep himself alive . In truth , this made me dislike him . The medication I was given , was starting to wear off which meant my transition was nearly complete . I kept my thoughts to myself , but was relieved that I did have one thing for me . Edward can 't read my thoughts . He never could . This led me to believe I can use it against him once I was changed . I considered leaving him once I was but had to keep this decision to myself or Alice would tell them ahead of time . The burning began to subside and I did feel stronger now , but I was still unconscious . My thoughts went in different directions as I lay there with my eyes closed . I could hear muffled voices but nothing really clear . I couldn 't tell who it was who was talking . As I laid there , I began to think about all I would have to say goodbye to . I knew I could no longer see Charlie or even Renee . It would be too dangerous for them . If they knew what I was becoming , the Volturi would force their transformation or they would also be killed . This made me mad to say the least . I also couldn 't see my friends anymore . This didn 't make me happy either . What truly saddned me was I would never have the chance to have children of my own . Now I got what Rosalie was getting at . Now I understood it all . She felt she was robbed of her human life both by Royce King and by Carlisle ( who had changed her to save her from certain death ) . I was being robbed of my human life . The only difference is my own life is being robbed by the Volturi all because of their stupid rules . The burning died down even more and I could barely feel my heart beating now . The tranformation must be nearly finished . I still didn 't move an inch . I could feel air on my legs which meant I was now wearing a dress . Alice , you will pay for that ! I thought angrily . I hate wearing dresses , high heels , and all of that girly junk . I 'd rather go around in a pair of blue jeans and flannel shirt any day . I opened my eyes and saw Edward standing in the doorway with his left hand out to me . He was inviting me to join him . I sighed and checked out my new vision by looking at my hand while he stood there waiting . " Bella . " He said as he stood there waiting for me . I looked up at him but didn 't yet move . I was still adjusting to my surroundings and was clearly not going to go to him right away . He approached me and took my hand in his . He was shocked when I quickly pulled my hand away from him . " What ? " I didn 't answer him . I knew I needed to hunt so instead I said , " It burns . " He knew I meant the burning in my throat due to my thirst so he took me outside and we went for our hunt . I managed to take down and feed on two mountain lions before we finally headed back to the house . It was time to meet up with the rest of the Cullens . " I 'm fine . Edward took me out for a hunt already . " I said to him . I was not about to be fully open to him about what I was really thinking . Emmett seemed unsure whether or not he wanted to approach this new me . He did hesitantly but I stepped backward to let him know I didn 't want a hug from him . I made it known I was angry and was not going to hide it . . I noticed Jasper seemed more confident as he approached me . He could sense how I was truly feeling and it worried him . He softly whispered , " You want to talk privately ? " He wasn 't too surprised when I shook my head no . I needed time and he got that . " Edward , I said no . " I said . I was clearly getting angry with him for trying to force this on me . He again tried to reach for my hand but I pulled back quickly . " Don 't ! " Now I couldn 't help but snap angrily at him . We each sat down on the porch . I let Rose sit close to me . I honestly wouldn 't if it had been any of the others . I just didn 't feel close to any of them anymore . None except for my now sister . " How could they do this to me ? Rob me of my parents . Rob me of the only life I ever knew ! Rob me even of my friends ! " I was now shouting . I no longer cared if they heard me . " You have no idea how much I know how you feel , Bella . I felt the same way when Carlisle first changed me . " Rose said . I nodded , knowing this . We had talked about this once before . " I get he changed me cuz it was either I get changed or the Volturi kill you all as well as me , but the fact is I was robbed of everybody from my human life . That isn 't right . I would of kept the secret . " " I know you would of , Bella , but that wasn 't good enough for Aro and the rest of the Volturi . They have their rules . " Rosalie said , which got a growl out of me . " I will kill them ! " I growled and then took off into the woods . Remembering I was no longer allowed on wolf land , I took Cullen land to Canada and then even further before any of the others could be alerted . I had to get out of there . I also knew one other thing . I wasn 't coming back . Rosalie hurried inside and informed the others I had in fact run off . By the time she had told them I was no longer even in Forks anymore . By the time I had reached Canada , Alice couldn 't even see my future anymore much to my relief . I continued to run for several months . I constantly changed locations , trying not to stay anywhere for too long so I couldn 't be tracked . I needed a coven of my own so I 'd have my army to fight the Volturi . I was not about to let them get away with robbing me of my family . During my time in Mexico , I tracked down a young vampire named Jordan , who was hiding out due to her being the daughter of the Cullens . Jane had just arrived in the country so I had no choice but to take her and her caretaker ( Mylin ) with me as the first two members . I was immediately put at ease when I discovered Mylin is also a vampire . She can block physical powers like I can block mental ones . We then traveled to Australia , where we met up with three more named Austin , Logan , and Daniel . I did re - enter the United States long enough to file legal separation and divorce papers . I no longer wanted to be truly tied to the Cullens . I also set Jordan up on Isle Esme with Mylin so I wouldn 't have to deal with that backlash either . Meanwhile back at the Cullens , the others were hurriedly preparing to leave to come search for me . They had already heard Jordan was relocated for her safety . The Volturi had tracked her down in Mexico while searching for me . Just as they were about to leave , a personal messenger arrived carrying a manilla envelope . Edward signed for the package and then after noticing it was addressed to him , opened it . His chest grew heavy when he saw it was the separation and the divorce papers I had filed . I had used money he had given me shortly after we had gotten married . " She didn 't want to be a vampire ! We forced it on her ! " Rosalie shot back at him angrily . " Now she has run away ! " As the months flew by , I learned to fight thanks to Vladimir . I still continued to hunt as a vegetarian vampire rather than feed off humans . I didn 't want to stop doing that despite leaving the Cullens . I had also recruited eighteen more vampires , but the biggest surprise was still to come . We were in the middle of training one day when an unwelcome visitor approached us . I growled when I spotted him walking up to us . I met him halfway with Vladimir by my side . He sighed and said , " I wanted to thank you for saving my daughter 's life . She sent word that you had her moved to the island . Now Aro can 't touch her . " His words were soft and caring , despite my cold and angry ones . Noticing how cold I was behaving , he added , " Rosalie told us what you two talked about . " " I would of rather died than be forced into this life , Carlisle . " I said . " Now I am planning my revenge on those who forced it . " " My family and I have decided to join you . " He said to me . He took my hand gently in his and added , " I am so sorry , Bella . I never meant for this to be so hard on you . " " I know . " I said with a soft sigh . This time I meant it . I was ready to accept them as part of my new life once this is over . " They agreed to meet up when the snow sticks to the ground . We agreed on the clearing Rose told me about once . " Carlisle nodded and sighed . " The family is coming this way . " He said . He noticed I had tensed up so he quickly added , " Edward is coming but he is no longer part of the family . He feels its better if he leaves so you can return home once this is over . " He saw me start to shake my head so he quickly added , " Their is a large - size mansion next door to use that was built recently on our land . You and your coven are more than welcome to live there as extended family to us … if you 'd like . " " My coven is planning to be relocated once I speak to them . We 'll be moving to Forks as an extended brance of the Olympic Coven . You want to join ? " I asked him . " Maybe . I 'm not currently seeing anyone . " I said , shooting him a grin of my own . I could tell right there he had ripped up the papers I sent . We closed in and quickly kissed each other as well as exchanged hugs . I no longer blamed him or any of the Cullens for my transformation . I knew now it was the Volturi who forced the order . As time went on , the Cullens had joined our training and even showed us even more fighting moves . Once the Denalis arrived from Alaska ( thanks to a call from Carlisle ) , Kate and Tanya both trained me in getting better control over my powers . I already knew I was a shield , but I also discovered I could read thoughts as well . This I thought was cool since it was also Edward 's power . Even as a vampire , he still can 't read mine , which still frustrates him . We do get our alone time every once in awhile and yes we did talk things out . He understood how I felt and sympathized with me . He and Carlisle gave me another couple of surprises . They bought a fishing trip for Charlie and Sue Clearwater ( Seth and Leah 's mother ) . They had begun seeing each other shortly before the wedding . The second was they had asked the wolves to join us in this battle after explaining that the Volturi had given them an ultimatum - either change me or all of us would be destroyed . Jacob and Sam talked at great length and agreed the Volturi deserved to be destroyed themselves . They arrived just days before the battle was to occur . One night while I was outside getting some air , Jacob approached me wanting to talk . He still had it in his head I would dump Edward for him . He quickly approached and said , " Hey . You look pretty good despite the different eye color . " We exchanged grins but I then spoke up . " Jacob , you should know . Edward and I are back together . He ripped up the divorce papers before he and the Cullens came looking for me . " " I am moving back to Forks with my coven . They built a mansion for us and will let us move their as an extention of the Olympic Coven . " I answered much to his unhappiness . I shrugged before nodding . " Jacob , now that I am a vampire Charlie can 't know I am alive or that I am a vampire . It is way too dangerous for him . They would force the same ultimatum on him . " " Jacob ! " I snapped . " He is not to know . I am still considered a newborn until the year is over . His blood will always be too tempting to me . " I then stood head to head with him and added , " You tell him and I will kill you myself . " " I 'm fine . " I said . " Despite threatening to kill Jacob if he told Charlie I am a vampire . " I must of seemed a little shaken because Carlisle lopped an arm around my shoulders and hugged me . It felt good to have my vampire father back in my life . " Right now your emotions are all over the place . Its common among newborns . " He said , rationalizing how I was feeling just then . " But I know you meant it . " " I am tired of people doing shit behind my back . " I said . " Making choices for me and not giving me time to make that choice for myself . I needed time to learn to accept the things I can 't change and make peace with what was happening . I never meant to hurt any of you . " I sniffled trying to force back venom tears but it didn 't work . I clung to Carlisle as I sobbed . I eventually calmed down but he still held me . " You 're right . " He said . He forced back a soft growl and added , " I never liked the decisions or the killing they did . I just hoped someone would stand up to them . " He shot me a grin and added , " I couldn 't be more happy that the person who is leading this is my daughter . " That night we also had a huge bonfire in a non - snow covered area . We all gathered around it and chatted as we thought about all that would happen tomorrow . I had to admit it to myself . I was very nervous … . and scared we would all not survive . I hoped it was just my nerves and not what was truly going to happen . The day finally arrived and in total of 65 vampires who agreed the rules needed to be changed beginning with those for me personally . The Volturi had to listen or all hell would no doubt break loose on them by us all . Several friends of Carlisle 's had been tracked down as well as Jordan who would be moving back with Carlisle and Esme as a very active member of her family 's coven . " You will stop your rules or it will be you who is destroyed ! " I angrily shouted . " I am done putting up with you and the others in the Volturi ! " Aro wasn 't happy hearing this . His focus went to Carlisle . He said , " So , your daughter wants to refuse to follow the rules , eh ? " " Don 't . I am with her on this and so is everyone . I lost her once . I will not lose her again … not even due to your stupid guidelines . " The battle began . Let 's just say both sides lost many . The Volturi lost more though . Seven of my coven members were killed . Among them was ; Daniel , Jacen , Rachel , and Sasha . Edward easily killed Alec and Emmett took down Jane with the help of Sam ( in wolf form ) . The guard and other Volturi members were also killed , leaving only Aro himself . Edward and Carlisle helped me in killing him . Just before his head was ripped off of his body , I said , " No one will ever have to deal with your damn rules and shit ever again ! " I then ripped his head off his body and Esme was right there with a lit torch . She lit his body and head on fire and then we all stepped back to survey the casualties … and the deaths . Along with all members of the Volturi and those members I already mentioned from my coven who were killed , I was devastated to discover that Mylin and Deanna had also been killed . They were among the eighteen who had joined last . I burst into hysterical venom tears when I discovered Mylin 's body . Edward held me as I sobbed . We all headed home shortly after . Jordan walked with her parents while I walked with Rosalie and Edward . Their was still one more incident which had to be focused on . That was with Alice who I still hadn 't spoken to her … yet . We arrived in Forks late on Saturday night . The wolves had stopped in LaPush on the way , but said they 'd be by the main house tomorrow . I nodded and sighed . I didn 't even notice that Jacob was missing . Edward and I led our coven to our house while the rest of the Cullens headed to the main house . We got inside and each headed off to our bedrooms . Thankfully , they had built many bedrooms for us so no one was left without a place to sleep . Edward and I entered our bedroom and both of us sat on our bed . I sighed , realizing Jacob had not come home with us . I glanced to Edward , who immediately nodded sadly . He knew I was asking about Jacob . " No ! " I exclaimed and fell against him crying . I had really lost my best friend . He held me until I calmed down . By then we heard a soft knock on the front door . Eric answered it . He let Alice in and led her to me and Edward 's bedroom . She wanted to check on me now that I had been told about Jacob also being killed during the battle . He had died protecting Jordan . " In truth he and I pretty much stopped being friends after his comment about wanting me to leave Edward for him . " I said to my sister . " Alice , I am really sorry for snapping at you before I left . I just can 't deal with the Bella Barbie stuff anymore . I am not a Barbie doll . " We exchanged hugs now that we were also friends again . It would take awhile before I could call her my best friend again . I needed time to settle back into my life as a Cullen again . Over the next several days , both covens were pleased to be part of the same family . Carlisle and Esme adopted the members of my coven since we agreed to be all part of the same coven despite being in different homes . I had to admit it felt great being back home . Usuallt if a Cullen family meeting was called , it meant both halves so my coven was also called over to the main house . This felt amazing . I was able to go back to dressing my own way instead of dressing the way Alice use to expect me to . I did compromise with her though by the time the following Christmas arrived . I agreed I would dress up girly then , but no more Bella Barbie . A / N : This is the final chapter so thanks for reading . If you see a possible sequel anywhere , let me know . I think I closed all plotlines . Sydney Bristow sighed as she entered through the front door at work . She slowly walked toward the elevator and she pushed the button to go up to her office floor . She sighed as she tried to stop her head from spinning . As soon as the elevator beeped and the door opened , Sydney stepped out of it and she walked to her desk . " Syd , you okay ? You look terrible . " Her coworker and friend , Eric Weiss said to her , as soon as he saw her . He looked worried . He stood next to her desk . He asked if anyone had anything else to add , but no one did . Just as he was about to dismiss them , Sydney spoke up . " Has there been any word on locating Sark ? I mean , the last we heard , he went back to working with my mother . " " Yes . " Jack Bristow answered . " According to our latest Intel , Irina has been seen several times with Sark , but we 've had no luck apprehending either of them . " He sighed . " We 'll keep looking for her . " " Not really , Vaughn . " She answered , as she stood up . She glanced over at Dixon . " Would it be all right if I went home ? I 'm really not feeling well . " " Of course you can , Syd . " Dixon said and he glanced at Jack . " Could you take her home ? I need Weiss and Vaughn here . " He stood up and began getting his papers in order , so he could leave the room . Jack nodded as he stood up . He walked over to Sydney and he led her out of the room and down the elevator . As soon as they got to his car , she passed out . He got her into the car and he drove her to his own house . Then , he called Dixon to inform him that he wouldn 't be coming back to work that day . He would be taking a few days off to care for his sick daughter . Meanwhile back at the Rotunda , Weiss was standing around waiting for his contact to call . He was chatting with his coworker and friend , Kimberly McKendrick , when his cell phone rang . " Hello ? " He said , when he answered the call . " Agent Weiss , it 's good to hear your voice . " A familiar female voice said happily . " I hope you haven 't forgotten me already . " " Oh come on now , Agent . You can feel free to call me Irina . I mean , you are one of my daughter 's best friends . " She laughed , as she hung up the phone . " It 's okay . We 'll get her . " He said reassuringly . Then he walked to Dixon 's office door to report the call . He knocked on the door , but he didn 't get an answer . He walked back to his desk , just as the phone rang again . He sighed as he answered it . " Weiss ? " It was Vaughn . " It 's me , Weiss . We just picked up Irina . We 're on our way back now . " He sounded worried . " All right , Vaughn . I 'll call Jack and let him know . " Weiss said to him . He hung up and called Jack at his house . Jack sighed . " All right , Weiss . I 'm on my way . " He hung up the phone and he looked up the stairs at Sydney 's closed bedroom door . He stayed there for just a few seconds before grabbing his jacket . He walked over to his desk long enough to scribble a note for Sydney to let her know where he was going . Then , he walked out the door and he left . A few hours later , Jack was standing right outside Irina 's locked cell . He glared at her . " What did you think you were trying to pull coming back here ? You knew they would be coming after you . " Irina didn 't answer him . As a matter of fact , she didn 't even look at him . She was sitting on the floor inside her locked cell meditating and ignoring Jack . Meanwhile at Jack 's house , Sydney woke up just as Jack got home . He walked up the stairs and into her room to check on her . " How are you feeling , Sweetheart ? You look a little better . " " Don 't you worry about work . You just get some rest and get yourself well . " He noticed she was trying to sit up in bed , so he rearranged the pillows behind her . She sighed . " What 's going to happen to Mom now ? " Sydney asked , worriedly . She looked down at her blanket , not wanting him to see how upset she was getting . Jack went downstairs to make her something to eat . As he was cooking , the phone rang . He groaned and he walked over to answer it . " Hello ? " " She 's resting right now , Vaughn . Is there something going on you need to inform me about ? " Jack asked . There was some anger in his voice . " Actually , yes . Irina escaped . Weiss just called me . I 'm not at the Rotunda right now . I was wondering if I could stop by later and see Syd . " Vaughn said . Jack sighed and agreed . " It 'll have to be after dinner though . Sydney will probably sleep most of the day and I don 't want her disturbed . She needs her rest . " A few hours had passed and Irina had still not been caught . It was getting frustrating for everyone . They were so busy searching that no one noticed Irina carefully hiding explosives carefully around the Rotunda , as she was leaving . She walked out the door just before the explosives went off . Everyone scrambled for cover , as more explosives went office . All anyone could hear was Dixon calling out orders , but no one was listening right then . He was very angry too . This was mostly because no one had fought Irina before she got away . " Tell Dixon I 'll be there in half an hour . " Jack said . Then he hung up . He had no intention of telling Sydney what had happened . Their was nothing she could do right now anyway . After leaving a note for Sydney , he left . Meanwhile , Irina managed to hide inside a cheap hotel room . She felt bad about how sick Sydney was , but she felt it was necessary to keep her out of the way . She hoped that no one would figure out that it was her who had poisoned her . She would reveal what she had done to her daughter in due time . She stayed in the hotel room for the rest of the night . Jack got to the Rotunda awhile later . He quickly found Dixon , who looked worried . All he said to Jack was , " We need to find Derevko fast . " Then , he walked away from him . Jack sighed worriedly . " Still the same . If she doesn 't improve soon , I 'm taking her to the hospital . She 's barely eating anything . " Vaughn was starting to get worried now . " I won 't be able to stop by later after all . Weiss and I are part of the task force that is searching for Derevko . " Meanwhile , Sydney began having trouble breathing . She struggled on the bed and was barely able to get to the phone . It was a good thing she had 911 on her phone memory , because she was forced to use it . She was barely able to force out " Help , " before she finally passed out . The doctors were busy trying to get Sydney stabilized . The ambulance got there just a few minutes before . Awhile later , the doctor came over to Jack . He looked concerned . By the time the doctor walked away , Jack 's usual expressionless face was now masked with both worry and anger . He noticed that Dixon was looking at him and he said , " They just got the blood work results back from the lab . Sydney 's been poisoned . " He went on to tell him that he believes that it was Irina who poisoned Sydney . He also said that he was going to prove it too . Then , he left the hospital . He was going to find Irina himself . After several hours , Jack managed to track Irina down . He found her inside an abandoned warehouse . She was asleep in a corner . He roughly picked her up by the collar of her shirt and he yelled , " What did you do to my daughter ? Huh ? " He was having trouble containing his anger at this point . He glared at her . She quickly opened her eyes and looked at him . " I poisoned her , Jack . " She didn 't seem the slightest bit threatened or frightened . " She should be fine in about 24 hours , as long as you have the right antidote . " " What kind of poison is it , Irina ? " Jack asked her . He was trying to calm down , hoping it would help get Irina to talk more if he did . " Barely alive thanks to you . " Jack snapped at her . " Now where can I find the antidote for this kind of poison ? " He continued to glare at her angrily . Irina sighed . " The only place it can be found is in a hospital in Rome . You 'll have to take her there as soon as possible . " " Correction - we will have to take her there . " Jack shot back at her . " We 'll be leaving for there at nine . " He shot her another glare as he added , " This damn well better not be some kind of trick either , Irina . You 're already in CIA custody . If Sydney dies , then so do you . " Jack took Irina out of the warehouse and he drove her back to the JTF . Later that night , Jack temporarily removed Sydney from the hospital . He drove them both to the airport , where they would meet the plane and a few escort agents . They had Irina with them . Jack had Sydney sitting in the chair next to him . Her chair was reclined back so she could sleep , but she wasn 't . He glanced worriedly at her . " You really should get some rest . " " I 'll be fine , Dad . " Sydney said . She kept glaring at her mother , who was handcuffed to a seat a few rows away from them . And to Irina , she asked , " Why did you do this to me , Mom ? " Irina sighed . " I had to keep you out of the way . While you were on your last mission to Spain , I happened to be there too . At one point , you stood in front of a dark - haired man . While you were talking to him , I slipped the poison into your drink . " She explained . The three of them exited the plane and went over to the waiting rental car . Jack made sure Sydney was settled comfortably in the back seat and he pushed Irina in the front passenger seat . He climbed in next to her and he started the car . He shot Irina a nasty look , as he sped away . She had a pained look on her face and had to quickly look away from him . It bothered her that he was so angry with her . She glanced over at Sydney to check on her , but Sydney didn 't even glance in her direction . As soon as they reached Irina 's hideout , Irina ran inside and got the antidote . When she came out , she shot Jack a worried look . She opened the back door and was about to inject the antidote into Sydney , when Jack stopped her . He took the antidote from her and he injected it into Sydney himself . He didn 't trust Irina to do it . Glancing in Irina 's direction , he asked , " how long does it take for the antidote to work ? " " Good . " He said and they got back into the car . Jack drove back to the airport and they rebounded the plane . They settled once again in their seats and the plane took off . They were once again headed back to Los Angeles . Irina had fallen asleep in her seat , which was across the aisle from Jack and Sydney . She wasn 't sound asleep though . She kept opening her eyes every once in awhile to look over at Sydney to see how she was doing . The plane landed a few hours later and Sydney was rushed back to the hospital . Soon after the plane landed , Sydney 's fever spiked . This worried Jack even more as he drove her to the hospital . Vaughn met them at the hospital . He was happier , when he found out that they managed to reduce Sydney 's fever . The antidote was finally beginning to work . Hello and Goodbye Posted on March 23 , 2013 by Jordan Cullen It was the early morning and Sydney Bristow rolled over and looked at her clock . " Damn it ! " She said , as she got up . She ran to her closet and started to get ready for work . She quickly got dressed and she ran downstairs . Right as Sydney was heading out the door , someone knocked on the door . She opened it and saw her father standing there . He had a concerned look on his face . " You okay ? It 's not like you to be this late for work . " " I 'm fine . My damn alarm clock never went off . " She said , as she got her coat on . " I 'm sorry if i worried you , Dad . " Jack waited for her at the car . A few minutes later , She got in the car with him and sighed . Jack could tell that She was already having a rough day . " I 'm sure your day will get better , Honey . " " I don 't see how it could get much worse . Dixon is going to be pissed , when he finds out I was late this morning . " Sydney said , as She laid her head on the headrest of her seat . " I 'll talk to Dixon . I 'm sure he 'll understand . " Jack said , trying to reassure her . " You look tired . You sleeping okay ? " " They can handle it without you . You need some time , Honey . Not only were you missing for two years , you also lost your boyfriend . " Jack said to her . His voice was full of concern for her . Hearing him say it that way really sunk in and she started to cry . He pulled the car over to the side of the road and then he pulled Sydney into his arms . " It 's okay , Honey . Let it all out . I 'm here . " Sydney cried until she fell asleep . Jack took her home and he put her to bed . He called Dixon and then he stayed with her for the rest of the night . Several hours later , Sydney woke up and she came downstairs . She found Jack in the the kitchen . He was sitting at the table sipping a hot cup of coffee . He heard her come in and he asked , " How 'd you sleep , Swetheart ? " He got up and he made her a cup of tea and he sat it down in front of Sydney . He sat back down in his previous seat . " I talked to Dixon . He gave you a few days off . " " What 's wrong ? " He asked . He was very concerned about her . He put a hand on top of her own , trying to calm her . " I have a headache . " She told him , as she got up from her seat . Still carrying her cup of tea , she went upstairs to the bathroom and got a couple of aspirin out of a bottle in the medicine cabinet . After she was done , she put the bottle back in the cabinet and took the aspirin . " Thanks , Weiss . " She said , as She went to her desk . Her briefing wasn 't for another half an hour yet , so She thought she 'd get caught up on her paperwork . " Sydney , could you come into my office please ? I 'd like to talk to you . " Jack asked her . He had stopped by her desk . " Good . I 'm glad . " He stood up and he said as he walked over to the door , " I have a surprise for you . " He shot her a smile , as he opened the door . " Jill ? " Sydney said in disbelief . She gave them both a smile as she hugged Sydney hello . " Oh my god ! When did you move back ? " Vaughn said , " Okay . We 've gotten reports that an American CIA Agent has been kidnapped while on a mission in England . Sydney , you , Jill , and Jack will go make the exchange , but be careful . We 're not 100 % sure they can be trusted . " He glanced at her for emphasis to his words . " That 's the tricky part . They have reason to believe that we possess some kind of document that is directly linked to the K Directorate . " Jack said , " It lists every member and their plans for the next thirty years . " Vaughn said , " Okay . That 's it . The drop is to go down at six AM . You leave for the airport at ten . Your on the midnight flight . " Jack sat next to Sydney , so he could keep an eye on her . He glanced at her and he asked , " How are you holding up ? You okay ? " Sydney looked at him and said , " yeah . Right now , I 'm just taking it one day at a time . " She sighed , noticing the worried look on her father 's face . She quickly added , " I 'll be okay , Dad . " She put the book she was reading down and closed her eyes . She put her head on her dad 's shoulder and fell asleep . Sydney gasped in horror as Jack came over to her . " What 's wrong ? " He asked . Then , he looked for himself . " Oh my god . " Sydney watched her go and she immediately started to cry . Jack , who happened to be standing next to her , hugged her whild she cried . He sat down with her in the waiting room and together , they waited to hear about Jill . Both Weiss and Vaughn stopped by the hospital to see if their was any word on Jill 's condition . Jack told them their wasn 't and he promised to call if their were any updates . He was hoping their would be some soon , for Sydney 's case . Jack got a blanket from an orderly and he covered Sydney with it . He then , went to find a doctor , so Sydney 's arm could be checked out . He returned a few minutes later with a doctor . Sydney was moved to an exam room and Jack went in with her . After the bullet was removed from Sydney , her arm was put into a sling . She was forced to stay in her room . When Sydney woke up , Jack was standing right next to her . He had a sad look on his face . " Dad , what 's wrong ? " Sydney asked him , as she looked right into his eyes . A few days later , Sydney was released from the hospital . The day after that was Jill 's funeral . Sydney was able to attend the funeral , even though she was still inactive . She sat in between Jack and Adam Hanson ( Jill 's father ) . " Why did she have to be the one who died ? It doesn 't make any sense . All I 've been trying to do is make a little bit of sense out of this , but none of it does . " From the sound of Sydney 's voice , Jack could tell she was angry . " Sweetheart , you know as well as anyone , that bad things sometimes happen to good people . Not everyone can escape the inevitable . " Jack said to her . " We don 't know yet , Miss Fox . We 'll call you as soon as we know . " The one said to her as the ambulance doors shut . Then , the ambulance sped away . " Let me through ! Those are my friends ! " Cassie Jo Kane screamed , as she pushed her way through the police barricade . She ran over to Jesse Kilmartin . Brennan Mulwray heard this and he came over to Jesse . He heard Jesse say , " Emma 's dead . " Brennan put a comforting hand on Jesse 's shoulder . Shalimar walked over to where it had fallen . She bent down and picked it up . She bit her lip to keep from crying , just as Jesse asked , " Where 's Adam ? " Jesse let out a sad sigh , as he said , " just before the explosion . " He could tell she was close to crying , so he pulled her into a hug . " We 'll find your dad , C . J . I promise . " Shalimar went right to her room . She was looking through a photo album , when Brennan came in . They discussed funeral arrangements for Emma and Shalimar burst into tears . Jesse was busily working on the computer trying to track Adam 's location . After several minutes , a slight smile appeared on his face . He quickly shouted , " Hey , Guys ! I got a hit off of Adam 's signal ! Come quick ! " They quickly flew toward the coordinates that Jesse had given them . " All right . I 'm taking her down . " Brennan said , as he began to land . All they found after they looked around was Adam 's MX pin . Shalimar and Brennan quickly turned toward him . They both had angry looks on their faces . " Why are you doing all of this ? " Shalimar asked angrily . She tried to lunge at him , but Brennan held her back . " All of Adam 's gene research . You give me that and I will give you Adam back . " Eckhart demanded . " I 'll be in contact to let you know where and when the exchange will go down . " Him and his partner left . Jesse sighed and said , " She 's lying down . I 'm getting worried about her . You guys know as well as I do , that she won 't be able to take it if anything happened to her father . " " I 'm trying to get into Adam 's private files , but their password protected . I tried C . J . 's name , but it didn 't work . " He let out a frustrated sigh . " I 'm not sure what else to try . " The Woman appeared and said , " You have no idea the kind of person Adam Kane really is . " She walked over to the computer and she typed her name into it . " Adam 's password is my name - Lexa . You might want to hurry though . They like to freeze you out after ten minutes . " " Look . I know none of you believe me , but I am the only chance you have at finding Adam still alive . " She glanced at C . J . " You 're Cassandra Kane , aren 't you ? " " So ? What if I am ? Going to keep telling us what a bad guy my father is ? " C . J . asked , and she left the room . " This was my home for two years . " She showed them both her COM link . " Mutant X 1 . 0 . Or I was supposed to be . I soon came to realize that I wasn 't the joining type . " Just then , Jesse 's voice came across their COM links . " Its time to go and I got the files Eckhart wants . C . J . is prepping the Helix now . " " I just bet you do , Cassandra . " Eckhart said . He had a slight amused look on his face , as he looked toward Jesse . " Did you bring Adam 's files ? " Eckhart chuckled . He nodded toward one of his cronies who used his mutant tongue to take the computer disk from Jesse 's hand . Then , he ran off with it , while three others attacked the rest of the team . C . J . went right after Eckhart and she tackled him to the ground . She pinned him and asked , " Where 's my father , Mason ? Huh ? Where is he ? " Eckhart managed to get her to the ground and he said , " Your father is dead , Cassandra . I found his body myself . " After hitting her in the head , he ran off . C . J . was too stunned to respond . The others caught up with her and C . J . told them what Eckhart had told her . She started to walk away from them , holding back tears , but Jesse went over to her and he hugged her . She burst into tears and she returned the hug . Brennan flew them back to Sanctuary a few minutes later . Jesse was sitting with C . J . in the back of the Helix . Lexa was copiloting for them . Brennan landed the Helix several minutes later and they all went inside Sanctuary . C . J . sighed as she walked toward her room . She was stopped by the sound of arguing and she came back over to listen to Brennan say that he was done working with the team . " Wrong , Brennan . Eckhart needs to pay for killing Adam . After that , you can go wherever you want . " Lexa said , and she walked away from them . Brennan left Sanctuary and he went to one of the bars he use to go to all of the time . He was hoping to find out Eckhart 's location . He wound up getting captured by Eckhart 's men and he was taken to his hideout . " Shalimar and C . J . have always been close . It has a lot to do with the fact that Shalimar has always been there for C . J . If C . J . can 't talk to me , she goes mostly to Shalimar . They like to discuss boy troubles or something like that . " Just then , C . J . came running back over to them . She was out of breath , as she said , " Guys ! Brennan 's in trouble . He was taken by Eckhart . I 'm tracing his COM link signal now . " Lexa had to admit to herself that C . J . was not as predictable as she first thought . She would just have to wait until she uncovered more of this young woman 's back story to be entirely sure . She intended to find out all she could about her in however long she would have to stay there at Sanctuary . Jesse was the first one to find Brennan . He rushed over to check on him , just as Eckhart appeared . He was carrying a gun . He fired twice at them , but Jesse stood in front of Brennan and he massed . The bullets bounced off of him . Eckhart groaned in pain . He could plainly see the anger in Brennan 's eyes . He saw Brennan preparing to hit him with another , so he quickly said , " Mr . Mulwray , I honestly didn 't think you could do anything like this . " He aimed his gun at Brennan and was about to shoot him . Disclaimer : I have no connections to the Power Rangers in any way . I 'm just a fan . Also , I do not own the character of Jesse Wilder . He is an OC a close friend uses on Power Ranger Legacy . It was a gorgeous day and Kimberly Hart was just getting ready for her morning training at Coach Schmidt 's gym . She hummed to herself as she threw the last of her things in her dark purple shoulder bag and she slung it over her shoulder . She was just about to leave her apartment when she heard her phone ring . She walked over to the end table next to the television set and picked it up . " Hello ? " She said . " Kim , it 's me . " Her friend , Jason Lee Scott said . He sounded very sad and close to tears , which was unusual for him . He had to clear his throat before continuing . " I 'm calling everyone to come back to Angel Grove . Something has happened . " " What 's wrong ? " Kim immediately asked , figuring it was Rita or Lord Zedd . This was her Pink Ranger instinct kicking in obviously . She was always ready to return to duty . " Kim , I was hoping I could avoid telling you over the phone . I know Jesse probably isn 't there with you right now and I know you 'll be needing him after I tell you this . " Jason continued . " I just got a call from Mrs . Kwan . She was crying over the phone . Kim , Trini was killed in a car accident yesterday . " " Billy just returned from Aquitar as far as I know . Katherine told me the last time I spoke to her . She gave me his new number . He 's living back in Angel Grove . I 'm not sure where exactly . " Kimberly said over the phone . She gave Jason Billy 's phone number and offered to call Zack for him . Jason agreed and said he would call Kat and then meet her in Angel Grove in a couple of days . Then he hung up the phone . He needed to calm himself down before he called both Kat and Tommy . He let out a soft , yet sad sigh , as he made both calls . Kimberly managed to make the call as soon as she hung up with Jason . Then she dialed her coach 's phone number to say she couldn 't be at practice for several days . A close friend had died and she needed to return home to Angel Grove . He understood completely and offered her his condolences . As soon as they hung up , she began to cry . It was for this reason ; she also dialed Jesse 's phone number and hoped he was there . As soon as she heard his voice , she began to cry . She managed to tell him what was wrong and wasn 't too surprised when he was quick in coming to her . She was use to it . By now , she was sitting on her bed in her bedroom and she was sobbing softly . She felt his arms go around her and she continued to sob in his arms . After awhile , she managed to calm down slightly and she asked him to come with her . She was relieved when he said he would . She kissed him softly before getting up and she started to pack some clothes . Kim nodded and walked over to use the phone again . She called and ordered two plane tickets for them enroute to Angel Grove , California . She used the credit card she was given for emergencies by her mother to pay for them and then hung up the phone . Meanwhile , Jason had just finished speaking to Billy on the phone , who also sounded like he was crying when he heard a familiar voice behind him say , " I heard what happened . I 'm really sorry for your loss . " Jason turned quickly around and saw it was none other than Katherine Hillard . " Thanks , Kat . " " Your welcome . " She said and she came over to him . They met half way and she hugged him . " I know Kim was her best friend . She 's told me about her . " Kat couldn 't help but be surprised . She didn 't know Jason and Kim were both two of the original Rangers . The look on her face made it obvious she was shocked . Jason didn 't notice it either . He was too focused on talking to Katherine . The last time he spoke so easily to someone was while he was dating Kimberly , but he knew Kat was with Tommy . He noticed Kat 's eyes focus on something behind him , which made him ask , " What 's wrong ? " As they got closer , the glow slowly turned red and Jason automatically tensed . He glanced over his shoulder and saw Kat do the same . " I take it you 've gone up against him before , too . " He noticed she seemed nervous at the same time . It was like she was hiding something . " What ? " " I once worked for Rita before I turned good and became Kimberly 's replacement as Pink Ranger . " Kat admitted , as she glanced back at the red form . It , of course , became the very ugly Lord Zedd . " That 's in the past though , Kat . You 're good now . That 's all that matters . " Jason said and turned his attention back to Zedd . " What do you want , Zedd ? " Jason sounded very angry as he spoke to Lord Zedd . " I wouldn 't try it if I were you , Zedd . We do have friends who are still Power Rangers . " Tommy said , as he joined Jason and Kat . " You two okay ? " " Yeah , but we 're glad you found us . " Kat couldn 't help but say . She turned her attention back to Zedd , who had started to attack them . Sensing something was wrong at Angel Grove , Jesse quickly told Kimberly they needed to get there quickly . It was obvious he meant they needed to teleport there instead . He wasn 't too surprised when she quickly agreed and like magic , Jesse stopped time so they could teleport out of there and to Angel Grove within seconds . They reappeared behind some bushes and Jesse led her over to where the others were . " Thought you guys could use some help . " Kimberly quickly said just before glancing at Zedd . " Oh man . Not you again . " She shot him a disgusted look . " Tough to be the has - been , isn 't it , Kimberly ? " Zedd asked her with a loud chuckle . He seemed to be enjoying his taunting her . " You won 't be laughing for long , Zedd . " Kimberly shot back at him , angrily . She wasn 't too surprised to get confirming nods from the others . It was just then that they saw a red colored blast come from behind them . They all turned around and stood shocked at five figures approaching . Jason and Tommy shared grins as soon as they saw them . " Kim told you , you wouldn 't be smiling for long , Zedd ! " Jason shouted , as the figures came running toward them . " Guess again , Zedd . " The one in red said . It was undoubtedly Andros . He quickly tossed Kim the Pink Ranger Morpher and said , " 3 - 3 - 5 and hit the last button on the pad ! " Kim grinned and nodded , but held back . She didn 't know the morphing call for the Space Rangers . She noticed the Yellow Ranger step forward and she whispered it into her ear . Kimberly nodded and called out , " Let 's Rocket ! " She hit the keys on the Morpher pad and within seconds she was morphed as the Pink Ranger . Jesse watched her with a look of pride on his face . He was proud of his Pink Ranger . He watched as she joined the other Space Rangers . He knew she would undoubtedly ask where Cassie was later on . Tommy quickly ran back outside for his girlfriend . He was more than a little worried . He knew she was in danger with them . What he wasn 't counting on was Rito disappearing with her to Lord Zedd 's palace on the moon . " Oh man . This day just got worse . " He let out a soft , yet worried sigh . " We 'll find her , Tommy . Don 't worry . " Andros said , and the others nodded in agreement . " Unfortunately , the megaship was destroyed , so we 'll have to find another way to track them down . " He let out a soft sigh . " I know where we can go to track them - my lab in Reefside . " Tommy was quick to say , and he headed for the doorway . " You guys stay here and keep working on the memorial preparations . I 'll be back in a few days . " " Jason , I may be needed in Reefside with the Space Rangers if this gets too bad . You have no powers so I can 't let you go with us . " Kimberly said . " I 'm sorry , Jace . Not this time . " Meanwhile in Reefside , Ethan James was busy playing a computer game when he received an emergency call on his Morpher from Tommy . Because of how worried Tommy sounded , Ethan was quick at turning his game off and he relayed Tommy 's order to Hayley . She quickly began a trace for Lord Zedd . Tommy met the Space Rangers in Reefside and led them to his lab just under his house . He wasn 't too surprised to see three of his students hanging out inside the house . He was actually use to it , since they were also his Dino Thunder Rangers . Turning to Conner , Tommy asked , " Where 's Trent ? " " He should be here any minute . He was supposed to meet us here . Ethan contacted us as soon as you did him . " Conner reported to his teacher . " From what I was able to get so far , they are holding Kat in a cave not far from the beach . Two of you guys should check it out . " She answered . " Kira and I will go . We need Dr . O . to stay put just in case this is some kind of trap . " Conner said . After getting a quick nod from Tommy , he asked Kira , " Ready ? " Kira Ford nodded , and the two both called out , " Dino Thunder , power up ! " In that same instant , they both morphed into their Ranger uniforms . Conner 's was red , Kira 's was yellow . Hayley monitored them the entire time they were gone . Luckily , it wasn 't a trap and Katherine was found inside the cave . She appeared to be unconscious , so they were forced to carry her back with them . Tommy waited nervously for their arrival and was glad when they returned . Unfortunately , it was also at that moment when Zedd chose to send Rito to pulverize Reefside . " Oh man . This looks like trouble . Since Kat was still unconscious , Tommy didn 't seem too eager to leave , but he knew he had no choice , so he called Ethan over and the two morphed . He also called Trent and had him meet them down town . " Rito ! " You 're supposed to be guarding the cave so the Rangers can 't get to Katherine ! Now thanks to you , they managed to rescue her ! You Dolt ! " " We 're on our way . " Tommy said , and both teams headed back to Tommy 's house . He was happy Katherine was now awake and all right . " Good . " He said . He slowly let her go and asked , " Is something going on here ? " Tommy could tell that Hayley seemed tense , and he was wondering why . Jesse just stood there in silence . He knew their was no way he could tell them who he was , which was why he was grateful when Kimberly quickly said , " He was just worried about me , Tommy . That 's all . " She had demorphed just before coming inside . Jesse and Kimberly exchanged looks before a golden glow appeared around Jesse . It was time for them to receive the news . Jesse sighed and said , " I might as well tell you the truth . " " What the heck ? " Tommy said . He looked positively shocked . He looked at the others and noticed they also looked shocked as well . He looked at Kim and asked , " What is he ? " Kimberly faced the others and said , " He 's my Guardian Angel . He was assigned to protect me a long time ago . After we met in Florida , we began falling in love with each other . Now despite how they feel about us being together , we chose to remain together and he continues to watch over me . " She looked worried as soon as she noticed the looks of disbelief on their faces . " It 's true . " " Yes . " Was all Kimberly answered . She was standing side by side with Jesse . " That 's how he knows I was once a Power Ranger . " She glanced at each of them . " He would never hurt me , Tommy . I know he wouldn 't . Jesse and I love each other way too much . " Tommy nodded . " I know . " He could tell by the kind look on Jesse 's face that this was the truth . " If you can keep our secret , you can also trust us with yours . " He walked over and shook Jesse 's hand in friendship . Unfortunately , it was just then that Kira said , " Looks like more trouble . Rito is back in town . He 's right outside the Cybersurf . " She shot a worried look toward the other Rangers . " Oh man . We better get over there . " Tommy said . Then , he looked right at Conner and said , " Let 's do this , Conner . " As soon as they did , both team rushed outside and went into battle mode . After finding Rito , they began to fight against him . At the same time , they also had to battle both Putty Patrol and Tengas , which made the battle even worse . Meanwhile in a lone cavern on the other side of Reefside by the ocean was a prison cell that was lit up in neon pink force field . Inside the cell passed out was none other than a badly beaten Cassie Chan . The Pink Space Ranger . Her cell was being guarded by Goldar and another army of Tengas . Both teams fought hard against Rito and easily won . They noticed Rito seemed to be keeping them deliberately in town . They just didn 't know why . This had both Tommy and Andros curious as to why , but they didn 't ask . They were too busy fighting him . After awhile , the Space Rangers broke off from their fight as the Dino Thunder Rangers kept Rito busy in town . Tommy said into his Morpher , " Hayley , see if you can find out why we are purposely being kept here in town . " " I 'm on it . " Hayley said and she began to search for the cause . It didn 't take long before she said to Andros , " I found Cassie . She 's in a cell inside a cavern . I 'll send you the coordinates . " She did just after . " Thanks , Hayley . Let 's go , Guys . " Andros said and they hurried to the coordinates . It wasn 't long before they encountered Goldar and they stood ready to fight . " Well well well . If it isn 't little Kimmy . " Goldar said angrily . He growled as he moved closer , so Andros moved in closer to cover Kimberly a little better . So did both T . J . and Carlos . " I 'd watch my mouth if I were you , Goldar . " Kimberly said , angrily . Underneath her pink Space Ranger helmet , she was scowling hard . " I 'm no Ranger to fool around with . " Goldar chose that moment to advance on her and attack . He dodged a kick from both Carlos and T . J . He was hit by a punch by Andros and knocked off of his feet . " You 'll pay for that , Red Ranger . " He growled angrily . " Save it for someone who actually cares , Goldar . " Andros shot back at him and they continued to fight . He motioned for both Kim and Ashley to rush inside the cavern and they did . Ashley was the first to find Cassie in the cavern . She rushed over to her unconscious friend and searched for some way to unlock the cell . " Kim , you see any type of key lying around ? Cassie looks badly beaten . " Kim looked around and spotted a gold colored key on the ground not far from the cell . She quickly picked it up and tossed it to Ashley . " Ash , catch ! " Ashley easily caught it and managed to unlock the cell . Both female Rangers carried Cassie out of the cavern and met up with Tommy , who had shown up to help the guys outside but since Goldar had run off to keep himself from being destroyed . They headed back to Tommy 's lab and met up with Kat and the others . Jesse was in there already and he was waiting for Kimberly . He looked pleased to see she was all right and he greeted her with a warm hug as soon as she demorphed . She handed the Morpher to Andros . " Your welcome , Andros . " Kimberly said and sighed . It was time to return back home to Angel Grove . She looked at Tommy to see if he and Kat were ready to return as well and he saw them nod . What she was shocked to discover is that all of the Rangers and former Rangers were planning to attend Trini 's memorial because Trini had once been a Power Ranger herself . They all headed back to Angel Grove . Jason was rushing around trying to finish last minute details before it was time to begin . He stopped long enough to glance at the huge framed picture of Trini Zach had brought with him . In it , she is smiling and wearing a bright yellow outfit she had bought at the mall after shopping with Kimberly . Jason shot the picture a sad smile and cleared his throat . He jumped slightly when he felt a comforting hand being placed on his shoulder . He turned around and was shocked to see who it was " . " I 'm sorry , Jason . You look like you could use a friend right now , so I thought I 'd come over and see how you 're holding up . " She glanced around , not seeing , Kim , Tommy , or the others . " They aren 't back yet ? " Jason shook his head and tried to force a smile , but it didn 't work . " No , not yet . I 'm getting worried , Tanya . They should have been back by now and its six and a half hours until the memorial is due to start . Kim was her best friend , so I know Trini would of wanted her to be here . " " Look , Jase . Don 't force it away if your sad . It 's understandable that you are . " Tanya said . Then she hugged him . Jason hugged her back and didn 't let her go yet . This was due to the fact he was now sobbing softly against Tanya 's shoulder . He turned as soon as he heard the others enter the Youth Center . He seemed relieved to see Kimberly and Jesse walk in holding hands . " Boy am I glad to see you guys . " He said . He wiped his eyes quickly on his shirt sleeve and shot them an embarrassed smile . Kim saw him as they walked in and she let go of Jesse 's hand so she could go over to him . She gave him a friendly hug and she also began to cry in his arms . This turned out to be the first of many times she did sob during the memorial . The entire ceremony began with each of Trini 's closest friends stepping forward and saying a few words about their deceased friend . Kim was the last to speak , of course . Then , several of the different Yellow Rangers spoke a few words about the original Yellow Ranger , as well as how they felt knowing Trini had died . This proved to be just as difficult . This was mostly due to the fact the original Ranger who replaced her was still in Africa . That of course , was Aisha Campbell . Aisha had chosen to remain in Africa , but she did receive word about Trini 's death and it had hit her hard as well . After the memorial at the Youth Center , they all chose to head to the cemetery to pay their final respects to Trini at her gravesite . At first , it was each member of the teams , minus the Yellow Rangers . They followed the teams and paused for a brief moment to say their goodbyes . After they had each left , the original Mighty Morphin Power Rangers team was left , along with Tommy to say their own goodbyes . First person to step forward carrying a yellow rose carefully in his right hand was Tommy . He placed the rose carefully by Trini 's headstone and walked away . He was followed by Jason , who also placed a yellow rose on Trini 's headstone . Then , Billy followed this action and then Zach . Jesse chose to walk up with Kimberly and remained there with her as she placed her pink rose on her best friend 's headstone . She sniffled and let out a soft sob as she stared at Trini 's headstone . On it was written ; Summary : After wrapping Christmas gifts , Bella receives a surprise visit from Carlisle . They discuss Bella 's worries for her daughter and about Renesmee 's relationship with Jacob . Carlisle does his best to calm her fears and reassure her it will all work out . Father / Daughter Fic . One - Shot It was early evening and Edward Cullen had gone with his brothers to do some hunting . Bella had gone earlier with Rose and Alice . She was just finishing up wrapping Christmas presents for her family when she heard a soft knock on the front door to the cabin . Sensing it was her father - in - law Bella smiled to herself and then went to answer it . She opened the door and said , " Hi Dad . Come on in . " Her tone was slightly sad , which got his attention immediately . Bella glanced into her father 's eyes and said , " I know Jacob felt he had to imprint on Renesmee but I still can 't help but feel it is dangerous for her . She is so young yet and she should be given the chance to find love on her own . Since Jacob imprinted on her , it makes that impossible now , which doesn 't seem fair to her . " Carlisle nodded , understanding where she was coming from but said , " Bella , I understand your concerns , but it is Renesmee 's free will which must decide if she chooses Jacob or not . If it is meant to be then she will choose him as her mate . I don 't think his imprinting on her naturally forces her to decide to be with him . Bella glanced down at the floor , which prompted Carlisle to sit down next to her and loop an arm around her to comfort her . " Are you sure , Dad ? " She asked him honestly . She didn 't seem surprised when he nodded to her . " I don 't think it would be fair Jacob forcing her to choose now while she is so young . " He added in a stern tone . " I will not allow him to do this right now and demand that neither you or Edward allow it either . " " He does and he will have us to deal with . " Carlisle reassured her in that same stern tone . He sighed and asked , " Anything else bothering you ? " By now his tone had softened yet again . Bella shrugged and said , " Usual motherly stuff … well parent stuff . " She got quiet for several seconds before adding , " Renesmee wants to try human school instead of home - school . I 'm not sure she is ready for it though . It does mean she won 't be able to use her abilities there and I am not sure what sort of coverstory would work since we can 't say she is me and Edward 's daughter . She looks too old to be our daughter considering she is actually only six years old . " " We can say she is you and Edward 's niece or a cousin or something . " Carlisle suggested . He shot her a slight smile and added , " Don 't worry . It will all work out . " Sydney Bristow rushed inside the building and nearly bumped into another agent . After a quick apology , she made a beeline for her desk and she sat down in her chair . With a huge sigh , she began to think back to what had happened that morning … . . Sydney heard a car horn sounding at four in the morning . She got up and looked out her window , but she didn 't see anyone outside . She went back to bed , but she couldn 't fall back to sleep , so she got up . She went downstairs and and she lay down on her living room couch . Her phone rang , just as she turned the television on . She groaned angrily , as she answered it . Sydney was too shocked to answer him . She quickly hung up the phone . After a few minutes , she picked up the phone again and she dialed her father 's number . Jack sighed frustratingly and he said , " We 'll talk to Dixon and hopefully , you won 't have to come face to face with him . After you hang up with me , unplug your phone . I 'll talk to you later at work . " Sydney couldn 't answer . She was crying softly . After a few seconds , she hung up the phone and she got ready for work . ( End of flashback ) " Good morning , " Lauren Reed said , as she walked past them . She noticed the frightened look in Sydney 's eyes . " Are you all right , Sydney ? " " Yes , I 'm fine . Thank you , Lauren . " Sydney quickly said . She tried as best she could to hide her dislike for Lauren . She stood up and remarked to Jack , " time for morning briefing , Dad . Dixon 's expecting us . " " Come on . " He said and they quickly walked to the briefing room . Jack sat down in the chair next to his daughter 's . He was still very worried about her . " All right , " Marcus Dixon said . " From what I was able to find out , Joshua Dennison was released from prison three days ago . " He gave a deep sigh before continuing . " Syd , will you tell me exactly what was said , when Dennison called you this morning please ? " Sydney tried as best she could to hold herself together , as she gave told Dixon about the phone conversation . After she was done , she asked , " any idea where he might be ? I 'd really like to avoid a repeat of last time . Her voice had been wavering slightly . I already have Vaughn and Weiss out searching several possible places he might be . I 'll keep you posted . " Dixon said to her . " I do think that until he 's found , you should check into a hotel for a few days . " " I agree , " Dixon said . He kept his focus on Jack as he said , " you 'll go with her and keep Dennison away from her . I 'll call as soon as we have Dennison back in custody . " " Not for another three weeks . " Dixon said . " She took Tori to see her Aunt in Harrisburg . " He let out a deep sigh . " Until Dennison is found , Syd , you are on nonactive duty . " " Hi , Syd . It 's me . " Josh said . " I just had to call you and tell you I know what 's going on . I also wanted to tell you that despite how it ended last year , you 're still the girl for me . He began to laugh , as he waited for her response . " That was him , wasn 't it ? " Jack asked . He was very worried about her . " Did he give any clue as to where he was calling from ? " Jack heard his daughter crying and he glanced in her direction . He parked the car in the hotel parking lot and he shut off the engine . Then , he pulled Sydney into his arms . " We 'll catch him , Sweetheart . " He said softly to her , trying to calm her down . " I don 't know . " Weiss said . " We 'll find him , Vaughn . You just got to have faith . " He continued to drive toward the next possible place . Sydney woke up several hours later . She sat up in bed and groaned as she stretched . She looked over at the door connecting her room to her father 's . She noticed that it was closed . " Dad must have gone to get us something to eat . " She murmured to herself , as she got out of bed . She heard the phone ringing in Jack 's room , so she walked over to the door and opened it . Leaving the door open , she walked over to the table next to Jack 's bed and she answered the phone . " Hello ? " She said . " I 'm on my way back now . " It was Jack . " They haven 't found Dennison yet . Are you all right ? " He sounded worried . He was zigzagging through traffic as he sped back toward the hotel . " Yes , I 'm fine . I 'm just looking forward to all of this being over soon . " Sydney said and sighed . " I just hate hiding out like this . I want my life back to normal . " Jack let out a frustrated sigh . " All right . I 'll let Dixon know that you 'll be coming back in . " He said . " We 'll head back to work as soon as we finish eating dinner . " " The sooner you find this son of a bitch , the better . " Sydney said , without even looking up from the file she was reading . She looked up long enough to add , " I want this to be over with - once and for all . " " I came here looking for you , Syd . " He said . " You can 't deny the mutual attraction between us . " He seemed amused by the disgusted expression on Sydney 's face . Facing him with her hands on her hips , she said , " The only thing I feel for you is disgust . Your whole mutual attraction theory is nothing short of false . " She turned and started to walk away from him , but he went after her . He caught up with her and he shoved her to the ground . He didn 't say anything more . He just signaled for two of his men to come in . A few hours later , a lot of things happened . Joshua 's troops took charge of the building . Dixon , Jack , Vaughn , and several others were placed inside a cell downstairs . Sydney wasn 't put in there with them . She was taken to a different room , where she was put through extensive shock therapy and questioning . She told them nothing . After awhile , they tossed her into a dark and empty room and they left her there . Jack , Dixon , and Vaughn lured the guards into the cell , after they managed to escape , and they easily took them into custody . Then , Vaughn went looking for Josh . Jack went in search of Sydney at the same time . After ten minutes of searching , Vaughn found him in Dixon 's office . He was sitting in the desk chair . Vaughn did a flying leap over the desk and he wrestled Joshua to the floor . After delivering several punches to Joshua 's face , he finally knocked him unconscious . Then , he dumped him in a separate cell and locked the door . Sydney slowly opened her eyes and she looked up at him . " Dad ? " She said . She was still very groggy . " Did anyone take Dennison into custody ? " " Yes . Vaughn took care of him . " Jack said . " It 's finally over for good . " He helped her to her feet and he hugged her . |
Damn iTunes won 't let me out of their website ! And for the life of me I cannot remember my password , nor the answer to their ' security question . ' We 're going to see the movie with Tom Cruise in it . I keep forgetting the name . It 's the one that starts with a ' V ' . I am a huge history buff , particularly of WW2 . ( My grandfather was stationed in Germany . He wasn 't on the front lines , but instead was housed by a German family who could have gotten killed had they discovered my grandfather was living there . Anyway , he fell in love with the family 's daughter Marianne . In fact , he stayed in Germany after the war much to the dismay of my great - grandparents . They were going to get married , but I don 't know why they didn 't . Years later , Marianne moved to the states , and called my grandfather . My grandmother answered the phone and said that upon hearing Marianne 's voice , knew it was her . I 'm thinkin ' the thick German accent might have tipped her off ! Never the jealous wife , she told my grandfather , and then I don 't remember what happened . I have seen a picture of her when my grandfather put together all of his pictures from the war . I asked him to do that , and that that is the only thing I want when he passes . It 's more special to me than any material possession . ) Wow ! I didn 't know I go there ! Hey , at least it 's not about the weather . . . . . * * * I 'll post some things from our Christmas later . I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record , or someone who is desperately trying to find conversation starter , but yes I 'm going to talk about the weather again . . . . . . . I know reading about the shitty weather in Illinois isn 't exciting but I figured I 'd write about it anyway . The last time I wrote , we were in the midst of a snowstorm . Christmas Day was in the single digits . Just yesterday , the streets were all a sheet of ice . So much so , that we didn 't even get our newspaper delivered or our garbage picked up . Today my friends , the high was 64 and rain , with towns that are having flooding issues , which leaves me to ask the following question : WTF is up with our weather ? I promise a more exciting entry next time ! It snowed here again today . So far about 6 inches with blowing . Stupid me deciding to drive to the post office because our bills needed to get to their destination on time . I slid and slid and slid some more . My traction control was on virtually the whole time . Yesterday was in the single - digits with no snow , so I did the last of my shopping and went to get groceries since I 'm hosting Christmas . I am glad that I did ! I think this confirms my worst fears , this winter is not going to be any better than last year 's . In fact , it may be worse . The ice that stuck to our front windows . Our backyard blanketed in snow and ice . Our tree that is full of ice . Did I ever tell you I hate winter ! The good news for which I thank the Lord Almighty , is that we have electricity . We are nice and toasty in our house . Believe me , I am thankful beyond words . I don 't know what we would have done otherwise . The bad news is that everything that we had planned has been cancelled . Tot had a Christmas program at preschool . Cancelled for the first time ever . We were set to go to my dad 's work for the best holiday luncheon I have ever seen . It 's become and annual tradition of ours . Now we can 't go . Well , I best be going as both boys are in their rooms and it 's only 9 : 30AM here . Already they have been awful . This is going to be a long day . Apparently we are going to have some more shitty weather today . On Monday , we had rain that turned into a sheet of ice . Yeah , that was a fun one especially since I had a major amount of things to do . Like take gifts to the damn post office . I won 't even go there . I then had to add a trip to Lowe 's to buy more salt . Then on Tuesday , we had a major storm that left us with a lovely amount of snow . Since Hubby had to work late , I had to snow blow our steep driveway . Picture me getting pulled by a snow blower down the driveway . Not so fun , though better than the trip up the driveway . The snow blower died twice , and after that it would not start no matter what cuss word I used , " Fucking snow ! " " Why the fuck did we ever move back here ! " , were my two favorite cuss phrases , and I don 't use the f - word until I am good and mad . On the news I saw that even Palm Springs and Las Vegas were getting snow . What is going on ? I thought we had the whole ' global warming ' thing going on ! Today , we are supposed to get the worst of the worst . The one thing Midwesterners at least the ones I know , dare not talk about . An ice storm . Hubby was mad at me for using one bag of salt for just Monday and Tuesday . ( On Monday our van kept sliding down the driveway , so I had to use a lot salt ) . Boy this one is going to freak him the fuck out . I am sure I will be hearing about it too . I told the boys to pray that the ice doesn 't come , and that we are all safe in our home with electricity . Ice freaks me out . Most Midwesterners are a tough breed . We really are . But even we fear these storms . Think downed wires , no electricity and wind chills in the single digits . Did I mention my cell phone is no longer working ? ? ? I hate snow , I hate ice , basically I hate winter . . . with a passion . But with part of California snowing , where is there to go ? ? ? I have been so busy lately it 's hard to catch my breath . I 'm sure that 's normal for most of us this time of the year . However , I 've encountered a few bumps along the way as I have tried to make this a good Christmas for my family and friends , even though holidays suck big time to me . I won 't say anymore lest I cry . I haven 't made Christmas cookies in a few years because that 's what my mom and I used to do together . This year I thought , ' Hey , what a good idea making cookies would be . ' It wasn 't . Tot made cookies with me . Yes , I let him make cookies with me . Aren 't I a good mom ? ! We made gingerbread men . It took forever and I had a huge mess to clean up . I hate messes in the kitchen . The boys and I tried the cookies after dinner . I literally spit mine out ! I never like to do that in front of the boys , but they were awful ! Too much molasses I think . I followed the recipe exactly . The boys loved them , though . The next day I thought I would make my Grandmother 's German butter cookies recipe . It makes lots of cookies , and I thought it would be nice if I gave some to the neighbors and such . This recipe includes putting the dough through a cookie press . I bought this cookie press at William 's Sonoma a few years back , and loved it . This year , not so much . I won 't get into the gory details , but let 's just say this cookie press ended up in our garbage can in not the same condition it was when it left its ' box . Some banging and throwing took place , and that 's all I 'm going to say about that . The next day I decided to make my grandmother 's meltaway cookies . I had already bought the ingredients , and the recipe is really easy . Plus , it involves chocolate . Yum ! . . . . . . . It also required the use of our hand mixer . The same mixer I had used the day before with the butter cookie disaster . Guys , as I was mixing the dough I smelled something . Then I saw it . Smoke . My mixer was literally starting to burn . I 'm thinkin ' someone or something was trying to tell me not to bake this year . Not to try to make this holiday better . It blows and in sPosted by Has anybody ever been on Urelle ? My urologist just gave me free samples of it . They insist I don 't have a UTI even though the AZO OTC strips came up positive . I feel worse now than I did since they started treating me for a UTI . This sucks . I am miserable . I am quickly losing hope that I will ever feel better . Tot just called me down to his playroom to show me a bridge he had built for his trains . As he said , " Come on down , Mama . I want to show you my bridge . " , I looked at him . As I did , I felt a sense of peace . I thought to myself that if it wasn 't for IVF , he wouldn 't be here . If it were 20 years ago , he wouldn 't be in our lives . I cannot imagine that . Come to think of it S . , conceived through Clomid / IUI , probably wouldn 't be here either . I would have had no children . Having my two boys makes our family feel complete . I can 't imagine life without any of my boys . Yesterday I picked up S . from the bus stop . Some crew has been digging up cables or something . This resulted in a good deal of mud . See where this is going ? I told S . to stay away from it . I also told him not to step in the snow because you never know what 's underneath it . He did . And there was mud everywhere ! I managed to get him to put his boots on the rug by the door , and only had to wash the rug they were on . Oh , it 's not over there . We went to church that night . What does he do you ask ? He put on his boots and walked onto my beige carpet on his way to the garage . That would have been bad enough by itself , but he then decided to walk around in the family room on said beige carpet . There was so much mud ! I couldn 't even talk , and when I did I said to him , " What were you thinking ? Of course , he wasn 't . I told him that when we got home he would be cleaning the carpet . This upset him , but I firmly believe in natural consequences . You make the mess , you clean it up and maybe you 'll think next time before you walk down the stairs in boots . Or better yet , you should listen to your mother and NOT go into the snow and mud . But I digress . S . was not happy about cleaning the carpet when we got home , but he did it . He actually did a good job too ! Why is it that my kids never listen to me ? That it takes them seeing what the result of their actions will be ? This has been a very challenging week ! Oh , and I still am not feeling well due to the bladder infection I 've been sporting around for almost 7 weeks . I 'm really pissed off about it , and believe that the doctor needs to give me something strong to knock this thing out . I 'm miserable asshole ! Last week we had our conference with S . 's teacher . I love her ! In the beginning , she told us what a delight he was to have in class . I remember always starting a parent - teacher conference with a positive thing about the child , no matter how hard it was to find one . I know the drill , and it was funny being on the other side knowing why his teacher was saying a positive first . I actually was then waiting for the bad . It never came . How proud I am of my little boy ! S . is in what Hubby refers to as ' the United Nations ' , of classrooms . He really is . When I went to be the ' paint mom ' a few weeks back , I saw all of the different types of children . Black , white , Arab , Hispanic ; it was cool ! I want S . to be in a room like that , because that is the way the world is . He also has children with learning and behavior disabilities in his room . He is meeting all of the milestones , so I 'm cool with that too . His teacher told me that there is a lot of distractions with kids going in and out to be serviced one on one . S . is handling it very well . I was concerned about this in the beginning , but things are working out . In S . 's classroom there is a Barack . Every time he says his name , I just laugh . I 'm sure his parents never in a million years thought that someday their child would have his name in common with a president . Anyway , I told S . that his classmate has the same name of our new president . S . looked at me , and very seriously said , " No , it 's Obama . " Well , at least he knows the presidents name ! Tonight Hubby and I have my oldest 's kindergarten conference . I wonder what his teacher say about him , and how she feels he is doing . It feels so weird being on the other side . I taught in this district , and it just feels weird not to be the one doing the conferences . A few weeks ago , I wrote about having a bladder infection . They gave me one antibiotic , followed by a culture , still bacteria . Onto another antibiotic , followed by a culture . Still have it . Yesterday . I was given my THIRD antibiotic . I 'm at the point where I am just angry . I told my urologist that I am resistant to some antibiotics . Let 's just say , I have had A LOT of bladder infections . I have been dealing with this for well over a month . I think it 's been about 6 - 7 weeks . I have another 8 days to go before they can do another culture to determine if it 's gone . Apparently the bacteria counts have gone down ' so they 're doing something , we 're getting close ' the nurse says . Well , close doesn 't cut . If this antibiotic doesn 't work , they 're going to have to do it my way . Like listen to me . My last infection took the pneumonia drug Levaquin to get rid of it . That 's strong stuff . Unfortunately , I went to my family physician for that infection which was over 2 years ago . Of course they don 't believe me . I like my doctor , I do . I think the not listening to their patients is a symptom of a larger problem . Many doctors do not listen to their patients or brush them off . I did it their way . If there 's a next time , it 'll be MY way . I don 't know about anyone else , but my children and their well - being have come first , even to the detriment of my own health . I haven 't been online much lately because I have been going to the damn urologist for the past two weeks . With both boys . At any rate , I felt ill for about two weeks before I even went to the doctor . Why ? Who has the time with kindergarten and preschool , homework and chores , and kids ' appointments , being paint mom and trying to find someone to watch Tot so now I can go to S . 's classroom to help him make a pine cone turkey . The note said that if a parent can 't go to send someone else in our place because the children really need an adult to help . If I had an extra person in my life that would be open to that , why wouldn 't I ask them to babysit Tot ! As if I needed anymore stress . If I can 't go my son will be the only one without a parent to help . Great . No pressure there ! Then the next day is family reading night at the school . ( Is it a bad thing to hope that we 're home in time to watch some of Grey 's Anatomy ? ) Oh , and did I mention the asthma attack that Tot has been dealing with this past week , as well as two weeks before . I have to make an emergency appointment with his pulmonologist . I wonder how I 'm going to fit that one in . His doctor is at the children 's hospital 40 minutes away . The doctor is only there two days a week and only for only a few hours . His last appointment of the day is about all I could manage without taking S . out of school . Oh , and did I mention that Hubby has been working 12 hour days ? So I am doing this all by myself . I can 't complain to him , because he 's not happy with the hours he 's working either . I am now on my second antibiotic . The first one didn 't work . Lovely . Just what I need . Not only do I feel like crap , but now I have to see the doctor again in a week to provide another ' sample ' to be cultured . I 'm beyond tired of this . I 've been dealing with this now for almost a month . It 's time that I feel better . I just need to figure out how to fit a little bit of tPosted by Hubby made it home okay , and the wasp is still in my house . I have no idea where . ( I HATE BUGS , PARTICULARLY ONES THAT STING ! ) What I do know is tomorrow I will no longer have to hear those annoying political commercials . Can I have an AMEN ! I was in the city today as well . S . had off of school today , so my friend and I took our kids to see a children 's play and then off to lunch at the ' train place ' . A good day was had by all ! Oh , my boys LOVE the city . ( We weren 't in the downtown area . ) They ask me as I go down a street if we are in the city yet , and then on the way home if we are out of the city yet . It 's too cute . I love the city too . The safe parts of course . Much more culture and diversity . You can walk pretty much anywhere . There is lots to do there . However , the schools are much better in the ' burbs . Well , that and other things I 'm sure . Tomorrow we 'll have a president ! This morning started off with me spilling my son 's entire glass of milk all over the kitchen floor . I mean there was milk on the cabinets , inside the cabinets , on our tables and chairs , on the stove and inside the dishwasher . Yes , the dishwasher . I was going to empty the dishwasher after I handed S . his milk . Needless to say , that dishwasher will be mighty full tonight ! There was the umpteenth wasp on our sliding door . I couldn 't find bug spray . I called Hubby who told me to go to Target . Told him that wasn 't going to help me right then . I opened up the screen , and basically willed that stupid bug out the door . While this bug remained on the door , I had to tell the kids to hurry up and eat their lunch since S . had to get on the PM kindergarten bus . We walked out the door at the usual time . Remember this was the bus which , only a few weeks ago , had never showed up . Well , today it showed up all right . And early too . Gee thanks bus driver ! I had to run with S . to the bus . In sandals since it was so nice out . The boys have tried these sandals on so many times they are stretched out , which has made them very hard to run in . I had to mail the bills . We take them to the post office because I do not leave anything with money in our mailbox . We had an incident years ago . On the way , Tot starts screaming , " I don 't want to go to the gym ! " ( His tumbling class . ) This is the only day that a friend and I get to see each other . We go , I ask him one more time if he wants to play . He says no . I tell him to sit on the bench while I go in the play area . You can guess what happened next . I had to go to the urologist . Last Monday I had a bladder infection and was put on some meds . I still didn 't feel well today . Tot got to see the doctor 's bathroom again , and I made my ' sample ' . I had lunch around 2PM . I went out to get S . off the bus at the usual time . Do you see where this is going ? Yep , I heard the bus , and had to run again , in the same sandals . Hey , I didn 't think I was going to miss the bus a second time ! ( Prior to this , I had almostPosted by Remember when I told you I was gutting my 80 's - like bathroom ? I did . Now that it 's been almost six months , I 've decided that I should make good on my promise of showing you the ' before ' and now ' after ' pictures . Here goes . . . . This was the lovely old faucet with the missing cap . The one I refused to replace , because I wasn 't going to spend one more dime on that old bathroom ! . . . . and here is the brand new model ! I chose it because I liked it , but apparently it is all the rage in Europe . Look in your Pottery Barn catalog , there is one in there . Wow , I actually have one of the new ' cutting edge ' faucets . I feel special now ! I 'm kidding , of course . ( It is way better than the old one , don 't ya ' think ? ) Another special item in the 80 's bathroom . The ceramic tile . . . . . . ! ! ! Okay , now turn your head to the side , and you 'll see my new floor in a diamond - shaped pattern . My contractor was not happy with me since there ended up being way more cuts to make , but even he had to agree with me that it looks great . ( He also was able to make more money , because he charged me more in labor , but it was worth it ! ) You can also see the side of my tub . Oh , and the lighting . Although this lighting was special , it too had to go , along with the mirror . Here is the new and improved version . You can kind - of see the color we put on the walls . Let me say this : THERE WILL NEVER EVER BE ANY MORE WALLPAPER IN MY HOME AS LONG AS I LIVE HERE , WHICH THE WAY THE ECONOMY IS GOING , WILL BE A VERY LONG TIME ! And you can hold me to that . Here is the back splash in my shower / bathtub . You can see the faucet and the shower head . I love the shower head , and no it doesn 't move so it is not for that reason ! I wish I had taken a picture of the shelves and soap dish which are travertine . I wanted that stone for the floor , but not only is it a bit over - priced , but it would have been higher that the rest of the flooring in my house , as well as a hazard when the floor is wet . I don 't think me lying on the floor naked after a shower would be a good look : ) Especially if my hPosted by I had to buy a new cupcake pan . When I went to wash it , this is what I saw . Yep , one of those damn sticky labels attached to the inside of one of the molds . Those damn things are so hard to get off ! This happens all the time ! Why do these companies do this ? This is just an example of the petty bullshit that pisses me off ! Anyone else have this problem ? ? ? I have talked about my husband 's long hours before . Because of this , I feel it is important to spend some time with my oldest doing ' boy things ' . Let me preface this by saying I am NOT a sports person . I am not athletic , I don 't care about football and the Bears and I certainly was never what you 'd consider as being a ' tomboy ' . I was / am more girly than anything . I go to the gym and am stronger than I used to be , but that is about all that I do that requires strength . Anyway , back to my boy . Having said all this , I know S . is all boy , and therefore he wants to do ' boy things ' . His dad can only do these things on the weekends , and sometimes S . wants to do these things during the week . What 's a mom to do ? Let me tell you what I do . I have played catch with the baseball . I have also done this with a football . I have explained to him how to do these two things correctly . Yeah , me . That 's a laugh , isn 't it ? I have showed him how to hit a ball on the tee my dad bought . Me , the ' the anti - sport ' . But what can a mother with boys do ? I believe you suck it up , and just do it . I actually think the people on my block are surprised to see us . Surprised to see a ' girl ' out there teaching her son sports - related things . And THAT I love . The boys watch t . v . while I shower and get ready for the day ; as if I 'm ever ready ! Anyway , I can hear the shows since I keep my bathroom door open . Today , I heard the regular intro . to ' Clifford ' , and was singing along with it . REALLY SINGING . And this is not the only children 's show that I know the words verbatim . I have thought for a while now that I would really like to go back to work . Now I think I NEED to . Anyone else know the words to their child 's favorite t . v . shows ? ? ? I am used to only having one child in school , therefore it has always been easy to remember what important things were going on and when . It was easy to be the ' good mom ' , because I only had to keep trap of one child 's school life . Well , now that I have Tot in preschool along with S . in kindergarten , things have not been going as smoothly . There is so much more going on with S . now . Homework , informational packets , meetings , etc . . . and it is so easy to lose sight of what 's going on with Tot 's preschool . For example , I forgot that last Thursday was ' show and tell day ' . Just plain forgot . That night I woke up with a pit in my stomach . I felt horrible ! If you think I am not organized and that is why I forgot , nope . I have a whole corner in our utility room dedicated to schedules , calendars , book logs , homework , school hand - outs , teacher hand - outs , and the like . Color coded and in my own type of filing system . See my proof below . So how in the hell did I forget ? I also feel bad about not being able to go to what 's called ' Crayon Connection ' at Tot 's school . It is the last Thursday of the month . At that informal meeting , we learn all about what the kids have been learning , their progress and we get to see some things that they have been working on as a class . The kids are so excited to show their parents these ! We also receive the monthly calendar and pay that month 's tuition . S . went to this preschool for the last two years , and guess what ? I was always there at those meetings for him . ALWAYS . Not for Tot . I can 't go because I have to get S . on the bus at that time . Still makes me feel so guilty . I feel like a bad mother , because I can 't always be there for my boys , mainly Tot . I am so tired , I can feel it in my bones . I often wonder how older mothers , as in women in their 40 's and fifties , who have small children do it ! If I am this tired at the end of the day , and I am in my - gats ! - mid - thirties , I just can 't imagine doing it when I am older . Another reason Hubby got the ol ' snip - snip . Now I am off to do laundry . . . S . has a special gym shirt that he has to wear on gym days , and tomorrow is a gym day . It is nearly 10PM . Did I mention that I 'm tired ? ? ? The other day Tot and I were at the mall . Every time we go to the mall , he wants an ' Auntie Anne 's pretzel ' . So Tot and I walked down there to get him a pretzel . A month ago , our mall opened an ' Armani Exchange ' . It is across from the pretzel store . I asked the woman at the pretzel store if she had been in there yet , and that it probably was very expensive . She said no , and that people who go there probably were only looking and buying there because of the name . She also said that she sees people all the time with those Coach purses , and most of them are ugly . That if they didn 't say Coach on them , that people wouldn 't buy them . I had to agree . I have two Coach purses , and I believe they are ugly and overpriced . In fact , the last one I bought had a zipper like the ones on coats , so I always had to use two hands to close it . I hated that ! I then showed her my Kate Spade plain , black purse , and she liked that . Of course , I turned around the purse so the label didn 't show . Luckily , I remembered it had a label on it before I showed it to her . Then suddenly I remembered I was wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt that I am sure she saw . How hypocritical , eh ? Here is the Coach purse . * * * By the way , I finally got my period last week . I couldn 't believe that my cycle had been 57 days ! As long as everything is okay , I wouldn 't mind another long cycle . Pure bliss . Have you ever felt invisible ? I do right now . As I 've mentioned before , S . 's kindergarten schedule makes it almost impossible to do anything . Even when I am at a class or MOPS , I have to leave early . I am the MOPS coordinator and I have to leave an hour early so that I can get home in enough time to feed S . and get him on the bus . My days are no longer my own . I have always looked forward to the weekends , mainly because Hubby is home . Him being home means I can actually go out myself . I can get my hair done , and not worry if I 'm going to make it to an appointment on time . My friends amd I can have a girls ' night out . Saturdays are great ! This Saturday Hubby had to go into the office , and then he brought his laptop home to do even more work . See the boys look forward to Saturdays almost as much as I do . It 's their ' Daddy Time ' , which is important for them all . Since Hubby couldn 't be with them , I tried to make it up to them , but I know I 'm not their father . I am trying to be both mommy and daddy , and to tell you the truth , I am afraid I 'm not doing either one well enough . I feel like the more Hubby has to work , the more things I take over . For example , Hubby used to take the boys with him to get their hair cuts . After S . 's hair was looking pretty scruffy , he got mad and told Hubby he needed a haircut . It was funny because I was thinking the same thing ! Well , I finally took both kids to the barber . It needed to be done , and I know Hubby would appreciate having one less thing on his plate . Sometimes , though , I just feel like the nanny . I just attend to other peoples ' needs . Yesterday the kids were being all bossy and telling me what to do for them . Their attitudes were so bad , that I put them in their rooms . Believe me , it was the best thing for us all . I am a ball of stress lately , so treating me like hired help was not going over well with me . Another thing that bothers me is since I never really get to go anywhere , I don 't have a reason to spend more time to make myself look good . This bothers me because even when IPosted by Hubby has been working a lot . A LOT ! As a result , I have been feeling kind of lonely around here . It doesn 't help that my oldest has afternoon kindergarten , which makes it almost impossible to get together with friends to do something together . While he was in preschool , we still had our two full days a week where we could see a play or some other fun activity with friends . Not anymore . I spend most of my days by myself waiting to bring S . to the bus , Tot to preschool and / or pick S . up from the bus . Sunday nights are rough for me , because I know what the week will bring me . This morning I was trying to be all positive . It almost worked too , until it was time to take S . to the bus stop with Tot in tow . We got there at the time we are supposed to : 11 : 30 . We waited . . . and we waited . . . and then we waited some more . When the time school actually started came , I started to get really pissed off ! I was trying to maintain my cool because I didn 't want S . to worry . Two cars went by , rolled down their windows , and told me that they had been waiting for the school bus and now were just driving their kids to school . I decided to do that too . I don 't think I have walked that fast in a long time . I was so angry ! I drove S . over to his school , parked and brought him inside . The woman said to me that our bus had called them , and said that it was running really late . I replied , We waited 25 minutes . " I tried to keep my cool again , because it wasn 't this woman 's fault . As S . walked to class , I told him his teacher wouldn 't be made at him , and to relax , these things happen . I should have taken my own advice ! Monday afternoon happens to be Tot 's day for tumbling . Yeah , wouldn 't you know ? We were a half hour late . No one could believe that the bus never came to pick us up . I mean , how long did they expect us to wait ? ? ? And what the hell was causing them to be so late anyway ? ? ? All I know is this day has not been the greatest . Go Cubs Go - oo ! Go Cubs Go - oo . Hey Chicago , what do you say ? The Cubs are going to win today ! Okay , they are going to win the rest of the games . ( As of this evening , they lost the first game . ) I mean , look . My little men think they are # 1 . The Cubs will always have a special place in my heart , as well as the hearts of many of my relatives . We love you , Cubs , no matter what ! Posted by Our Susan G . Komen ' Race for the Cure ' was this past Saturday . I made the boys shirts this year . Being that it is dealing with Breast Cancer , I made the lettering pink and added sparkling pink pain to it . You know , to kind of dress it up a bit : ) The shirts are short - sleeved , so I worried that the boys may be cold . Let 's just say I shouldn 't have wasted any brain cells worrying about that ! It was over 80 degrees and beautiful . I even wore shorts ! Here 's a picture of my darlings . Their shirts say ' Walking in memory of Grandma ' . It did make my heart sad when S . said to my father , " We are walking for someone who 's far away . She 's up there ( fingers pointing upward ) in heaven with God . " And that I know is true . When I was in high school , my boyfriend , the lovely one I wrote about , told me that he had an embarrassing situation to tell me about . He told me that he saw me , or what he thought was me , in the hallway . Thinking it was me , he went to grab her hand and said , " Hi Hun . " He said he was shocked and embarrassed when she turned to him and gave him the what the fuck are you DOING look . Of course I did not believe him . I mean come on . No one can look that much like another person . It 's just not possible . Later two friends of mine came up to me to tell me the same story . Well , close to the same story . They didn 't try to hold her hand . They kept saying to me , " She really does look like you . " The next year when the high school yearbook was out , I heard from more people how this same girl looked , yep , just like ME , and these people didn 't even know the others . Two years ago while I was running the track at the gym , a man came up to me and started talking . I had my headphones on , so I could only see his surprised expression when he realized I wasn 't the woman he thought I was . I took the headphones off , and he was so stunned that he told me the woman 's name , Brigette . . . , and exactly where she worked . He said it was like looking in the mirror . It shocked him . O - - kay . And then I finally had it happen to me . Tot started the new session of tumbling . We have new people who have joined . We all start out in a large , red circle . Since it was the first class , we all introduced ourselves . As we went around the circle , I saw her . Now I was the person with the shocked look on her face . Guys , she looks just like me , expect with blue eyes . It 's freaky ! It really is like looking in the mirror . Maybe everyone really does have a twin . As of 10 or so minutes ago , I am back online ! ! ! Our modem broke on the weekend , and today was the first day they could get it to me . I am so addicted to the Internet and to these blogs ! Anyway , I 'm back . Oh , and I am on cycle day 55 or so . There is no one who can watch my kids this week , so I 'm not calling my GYN . Isn 't that sad ? I can 't even go to the doctor . I am on cycle day 48 and no period . Others have told me I need to call my doctor , because this isn 't normal . I have to admit , though , while it 's starting to really concern me , I am happy not having a period . Truly happy . That is if something major isn 't wrong with me . Has anyone experienced something like this ever ? If so , please tell me what caused it . People are starting to worry me that it could be something really major . A friend of mine and I took our three boys to the zoo . It was a gorgeous day , so we stayed longer than usual . Tot even told me twice when he had to go potty . ( Pee , not poops of course ! ) I figured since he had gone so much that we would be fine for the 35 minute ride home . Oh , silly , silly me ! We only just pulled onto the highway from the zoo exit , when my little bundle of love exclaimed , " Mommy , I 've got to go potty . " Of course , S . repeated what Tot said to me because apparently he thinks I am deaf all . the . time ! So I do what any mom in that situation does . I ask him , " Can you hold it ? " Luckily , he said yes , but I knew he couldn 't do it for long . When I got to the corner where we turn , I saw a Burger King . I figured he couldn 't make it until we got to the nicer town , so I reluctantly turned into the parking lot . Let me say this . * * * I hate public restrooms , particularly those of fast food restaurants . They are seldom clean , and I just get a feeling of ' ick ' whenever I 'm in one . I ran with Tot in hand , and S . following behind , into the bathroom . I felt a sense of dread when I realized that there were only two stalls and one was out of order , and the other ' occupied ' . I kept talking loudly about Tot holding it hoping that would make the person in that stall hurry up . When she left , in we went . We made it ! And on the way out , I wiped Tot , S . 's and my hands with the wipees that were in my purse . Unfortunately , I watched Oprah one day when their ' germ expert ' was on , and I cannot for the life of me get the info . of a sink is the dirtiest place in the bathroom out of my head . That we are most likely to get sick from it , rather than the toilet . That the toilet is cleaner than the sink ! Well , I also can 't get the info . that one must use a kitchen brush - thing to clean the kitchen sink , because germs will continue to stick there if we don 't . Hubby suggested I not watch anymore shows about germs . I 'm tryin ' ! I 'm also trying to stay out of fast food restaurant bathrooms . Hopefully , Tot will let me ! * * * The exception is the McDonPosted by I have been taking an oral acne medication that has made me pretty much have my period all the damn time . Seriously . My cycles have been 17 - 18 days long , with bleeding ( TMI ) lasting around 7 days . Yeah . You can imagine then why , when my cycle went up to 25 days , I was so damn happy ! Like jumping up and down happy . Well , I guess this is another example of ' be careful what you wish for ' crap . I am on day 37 , dangerously close to day 40 , at which I think I will call my gynecologist and ask him WTF to do . I have never been in this position before . Well , except when I was on injectables and developed a 33mm cyst , which apparently is very common when taking injectable drugs like Follistim , which I was on . But , and I repeat , I am not on ANY fertility drugs this time . So , do I ask for Provera ? Will he want to me to have an U / S to check for cysts ? Crap ! I don 't want to have an U / S . Those were only fun when I had a baby inside of me . I also haven 't had a pap since my oldest was 6 weeks old . I am tellin ' the truth on that one . My OB didn 't give me one in the first trimester with Tot due to the twins ' situation , and they forgot to give me one at Tot 's 6 - week check - up , and I did think of telling them , but I was real tired of having that part of my anatomy touched ! So I am also nervous that they 'll want me to come in for that , and I have no sitter and my husband works ridiculous hours , and did I mention that he is now on a jury for a case that will take at least 2 - 3 weeks ? ! I don 't think they 'll excuse him to watch our kids due to his wife having to go to the gynecologist ! Okay , that 's all besides the point . You want to hear what my husband said to me when I told him how late I am ? " Did you take a test ? " I responded with , " Did you forget you had a vasectomy ? " And with that , I will go and change Tot 's poopy diaper that he made during nap time , because this child will not go poop on the potty no matter how many things that I try to bribe him with ! Stubborn little shit , ain 't he ? No pun intended . Friday the 22nd was my mom 's birthday . I always try to visit her grave on this day . The boys are lucky ; they get to go with ! At any rate , I told S . that we needed to go to the cemetery . He replied , " What do we need to get there ? " It may be time to talk with him about the whole death thing , don 't ya ' think ! But I did answer what a cemetery was and why we go there . When we got to my mom 's grave , we sang Happy Birthday softly to her , and then said a prayer . After that I told my mom what the boys were doing . You know kindergarten and preschool etc . . . Then we went to leave . Now remember my son loves numbers . He kept telling me the years that were on the grave stones . Then it was like a mild competition between the two of us to see which one could find the earliest date . He won . He found the year 1870 . It 's funny because S . is SO afraid of weeds . He absolutely refuses to walk on them , or touch them in any way ! However , he walks over name plates and fresh graves like it 's nothing . Hubby and I agree that when he understands what he is standing on , he 'll freak out . But for now , he is happy doing that . He 's none the wiser . Now onto Tot 's funny story . Monday , the whole family went grocery shopping . Do we know how to celebrate a holiday or what ! Well , I needed to buy some tampons , so off we went to that aisle . As we started walking Tot said , " Why are we in the diaper aisle ? " Hubby and I just laughed . But then Tot says pointing to a box of Tampax , " I want those . " I just told him that he will never be in need of any of these items and walked away . Kids sure say the darn - est things , and made the end of our holiday weekend more bearable . This year is the year that S . starts kindergarten . On Tuesday night , his school had an orientation to familiarize the kids , as well as the parents , with the routines , expectations , where the rooms are , as well as meeting the teacher . I didn 't realize that S . starting kindergarten would be hard for me in more than one way . Walking down the hallway and seeing all of the recently decorated classrooms , and listening to his teacher made me miss my job so much ! I am used to being on the other side . I 'm used to being the teacher who talks with the parents at open house . Did I also mention that S . 's school is in the same district as the one I used to teach in , and that I have been to that building , and have even met his teacher ? That I could tell him exactly where everything is ? Man , was that weird ! On Sunday , I had my official ' meltdown ' . I can 't believe my miracle baby , the baby we tried so long and hard to have , was now old enough to go to ' regular ' school . He had been nervous all week , and had so much energy that I think that was how God made his leaving easier for me ! Hubby was able to work from home , so he could be there with me to walk S . to the bus stop , as well as pick him up . S . didn 't know Daddy was staying home , so this was a big surprise to him ! Another surprise for us is that the weather sucked ! It rained , and rained and rained ! Of course , after we got him on the bus , it stopped . All I can say is , it 's a good thing he 's a boy , because we didn 't have to worry about fixing his hair . S . has been so excited about going on the school bus all summer long . He looked a bit nervous as he boarded the bus , but he found a seat quickly and off he went ! Turning around to go home was bittersweet . I was so excited for him , but at the same time I was a little sad . My baby was ' officially ' a kindergartener , and he is moving farther and farther away from me . It has been a hard adjustment for me . This kindergarten thing . My days are completely different . S . has afternoon kindergarten which means that I have to get him to the bus bPosted by Last Sunday , S . attended Children 's Church , as he usually does , while we were in listening to the service in the sanctuary . After the service was over , we went to collect him . Apparently , they were told to draw a picture . I don 't know what the directions for this picture were , but I am thinking his picture was not exactly what they were looking for ! See , I love ' Shark Week ' on the Discovery Channel . I always have . Now that my children are old enough to watch it , we watch it together . I did not realize what S . would take from that week . I do now . His picture showed a shark with a smiley face going up to eat a seal that had a sad face on it . Apparently , my son was actually listening to the program ! I guess he learned how ' nature ' works , and wanted to share it with others . I wish he was like his brother who only wants to wear , watch and talk about sharks . Our MOPS groups gets a ' little ' something for each mom when they have a birthday . I volunteered to do the shopping and , since our budget is lower this year , offered to pay for them . Enter the Dollar Store . I don 't want to seem like a snob , but I haven 't gone into a dollar store in decades . I figured things would be made poorly and the like . However , I wanted to buy twenty items and cheap ! Well , I found nirvana there . Not only did I get twenty presents for twenty dollars , but I found other items as well . I was so surprised to find that there were some name brand things in there ! Of course , there were items I have not seen since my childhood , but all in all it was a positive experience . I can 't say this will be a store that I will frequent , but now that I know what it sells , I will now go back when I need one of those items . I will no longer be a snob about where I buy things . Okay , I will try not to be a snob about it ! S . and Tot have this thing where they squeeze each others noses and say ' Honk , Honk . ' Yesterday , S . said to Tot , " Let 's do our honkies . " It took every fiber of my being not to laugh . I don 't know what to say to him to get him to stop saying that . After all , he 'll be starting school next week , and I don 't think saying ' honkies ' in class is the best way to start the year ! Plus , can you imagine what his teacher would think about his home life ? Hey , at least we ARE white ! Any ideas on how to approach this ? ? ? I think every woman has had that special , intense , I can 't live without you boyfriend that ends up not being the person you thought he was . It may take weeks , months or hell , even years for some of us , but we eventually find out the truth . And , in most cases , it ain 't pretty . I met my ' special guy ' during my freshman year of high school . In the beginning of the year , I found him annoying , but by the end I was ' in love ' . Jason was a popular football player , who hated my old boyfriend , another football player . We bonded over our hate for him , and later discovered that we liked each other quite a bit . That was the beginning of a three year , on again off again relationship that did not end well at all . AT ALL . Jason spoiled me . His family had more money than mine . I had to use my babysitting money if I wanted to buy a hot lunch at school . Jason took care of that . He gave me lunch money . He would also give me my favorite candies and flowers in my locker . He treated me as if I was the most important person in his life , and in some ways I believe I was . He was also possessive , and as a teenage girl I thought that proved he loved me . When this one guy , Rick , would hit on me in Math class , Jason would literally go into the classroom to ask him what his problem was . He did this more than once . When Rick stood at my locker one day , and apparently put his hands close to my butt , Jason saw . A few hours later he beat Rick up pretty badly . No one does that to HIS girlfriend . He got suspended for that one . At my brother 's graduation party that spring I had a wine cooler , my mom knew , and he freaked about the alcohol on my breath . I didn 't find out for two years that his mother was a rabid alcoholic . The end of the school year came too soon . My family and I were moving an hour away to be closer to my dad 's new job . I couldn 't imagine leaving Jason ! My parents , though , could not stand him . I think they were happy to , what they thought would be , see the last of him . A few weeks before we moved , some things happened , and my mom told meformerteacher This week , I fell . I fell hard . Down the stairs . What was I doing ? Running upstairs to get Tot 's shoes so we wouldn 't be late for Summer Camp . It seems that I always am running late ! This week , I made sure I was up and ready to go earlier than I needed to be ! Anyway , I slipped on the stairs . I admit that I was running . Down I went with a thump . It was one of those moments where I thought I could catch my footing , but soon realized it was beyond my control . I slid on my left side all the way down the stairs . Not only did I feel stupid , but I sustained injuries . They still hurt almost a week later . I took some pictures . They are blurry , but you can the idea . This is the black and black - and - blue carpet - burn that I sustained on the way down . This is also the bruise that caused people to ask what in the world happened to me . Imagine parent - tot swim . It 's bad enough to have to wear a bathing suit without this little number ! And for all of you who have looked at those waterproof sport band - aids . They don 't work . Even when you put two on , they don 't keep the water out . Let me tell you what chlorine inside my wound felt like ! My elbow which sustained the same injury . Not a good picture , but I tried . My pinky toe was not to be spared . Half of it fell off . I didn 't realize this until I went to drive . I had to go , because I didn 't want S . to be late . So I went with an elbow bleeding , and half a nail . Ah . . . what mothers do for their children . I will say my boys were awesome . They immediately ran to the bottom of the stairs to see how I was doing . Now S . , being a numbers man and all , told me that I started to fall from the second step . Good to know , S . That kid surprises me everyday ! Anyway , they both hugged me , and we went on our way . Oh , when I was on the bottom of the stairs , I said to them , " What did we learn here ? " Their faces were blank . I told them , " This is why we never run in the house ! " Hey , the experts say that actions speak louder than words , so we should show our kids . And that I did . First off , I have not been able to read most of the blogs from blogger for , of , about two weeks . Either it 's my computer or blogger itself that is the main culprit , but either way I can 't pull them up . When I try to a lovely Do you wish to continue , or something , comes up on the blog I am reading , and I always hit the ' yes ' button , but it doesn 't budge . I then have to log off the entirely , and then the computer shuts down entirely . It is really pissing me off ! So if I haven 't e - mailed you lately , please don 't take it personally . On Friday , I picked S . up from Summer Camp . As we were walking out , a church was playing its bells to signify the hour of 12 : 00 had begun . I said to S . that Grandma Debbie , my mom , always loved hearing church bells . S . then turns to me and asks , " Can Grandma Debbie still hear the bells ? " I said to him with tears in my eyes , " I think she can S . ; I think she can . " Last week , Hubby and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary by taking a much needed vacation sans kids . This is the first time we left them this long . It was only 5 days , but we 've only left them for a weekend at my brother 's . Believe me , I would have left them and gone on a vacation long ago if my mom was still alive . Or if my ILs were normal people . Hubby and I stayed here . We were going to go to Hawaii for our anniversary since Hubby has all of those points from flying all over the world , but my brother couldn 't take them all week . And if you 're going to Hawaii , if you have less than a week , what 's the point . So a 2 hour drive to the resort was all we could manage . We had so much fun ! Couples ' massages , swimming in the ' adults only ' pool , Dining at nice , but casual , restaurants . Oh , how wonderful it felt to not have to decide what we 're having for dinner ! Reading book in peace and quiet ! Being able to have a conversation with each other , without being interrupted so often that we forgot what we were saying in the first place . Anyone know what I mean on that one ? Oh , how relaxing it was . Then Friday came . We had to leave . I did not want to leave . I did not miss my children . I only missed my dog since I sleep with her every night . Isn 't that awful ? Am I a bad mother ? Well , came back we did , and the noise started immediately . We definitely are back to reality ! Yesterday I took the boys with me to 7 - 11 to get a ' Big Gulp . ' I really love Coca - Cola ! Anyway , I brought it into the family room to drink . The kids are not allowed to have any food or drink in this family room . What happened , you ask ? I accidentally kicked the coke off of the coffee table . At first , I was more upset by the fact that my beloved cola had spilled and only a fraction of it was left . Hey , Mama needs her caffeine buzz ! Then I discovered that all of that cola was all over the carpet . The beige carpet . Yep . The only thing I could think of to tell the boys was , " See that 's why we don 't drink in the family room . " Duh ! I was able to have a massage the other day , pure nirvana ! , and something surprised me . The masseuse moved my underwear to the sides , and massaged my butt . The entire cheek area . It didn 't feel sexual at all , it just felt weird . Yes , I have had a massage at that spa before and I never got a ' butt massage ' . My question here is has anyone else been given a ' butt massage ' . Is this normal ? ? ? For the last 6 weeks or so we have been potty training . Actually , the Tot wanted to put underwear on like his big brother . Luckily , I saved S . 's Thomas 2T / 3 / T underwear . He was so ready to wear his ' Thomas ' underwear ! Well , pee training has gone VERY well . There are times he has accidents . Like last week at the park . He didn 't want to stop playing , so he just wet himself , and promptly told me , " I wet myself . " Lovely ! Prior to that , though , he has gone over 2 weeks without an accident . The bad news is he has never gone poop in the potty . When his brother was having trouble potty training , I simply took off his underwear and that was that . I did that with Tot . He pooped on the floor . For a long time , he would poop in his underwear . Now , he has been saving it up for when he 's wearing a diaper at nap time and bedtime . I 'm glad that he hasn 't pooped in his underwear lately , but damn , will he EVER poop in the potty ? He starts preschool in the fall , and I wonder if he will be able to go . They have to be fully potty trained there to go . I 'm starting to get worried . I have not made a big deal about poop in his diaper anymore , since he would just laugh and think it was funny . I just don 't know what else to do . Any suggestions ? Across the street from my house , a couple went through a lot to get pregnant . They have one child ; all repeated attempts at IUIs and multiple IVFs to have another child failed . They were wonderful to us when we were experiencing our difficulties , often at the same time . When their insurance would pay no more , they decided it was time to let having another biological child go . I gave them all of my adoption information from when we thought we might adopt . We had even chosen an agency . They were very excited about adopting a child . All of the necessary paperwork was completed , and then it was time to wait . . . and wait and wait . I do not know what happened since this was all during my pregnancy with Tot , and I felt I shouldn 't ask . See , when Tot was 2 months old , they started to put a beautiful addition onto their house . The next year , they told us that the addition was their ' baby ' . I felt if they wanted us to know more , they would tell us , so I didn 't ask again . We have talked many times since then , and I know that the pain of infertility is still with them . They tried so hard , and yet they never were able to parent that second child . Yesterday , Hubby and I were talking with the husband . Tot was being a royal pain in the neck , so I said the one thing no one should say to someone that has gone unsuccessfully through infertility . I said , " Do you want a boy ? " A few hours after I said it , I realized what I had done . I feel like an asshole . I should know better . I want to call and apologize , but that would simply be adding salt to the wound . I feel like a total asshole ! I have been plagued by acne since I went off the pill 7 years ago to try to get pregnant . This past year I decided that I had enough ! I found a dermotolgist through my step - mom , and went to her . We tried the old stand - by : antibiotics and Retin - A . That did not work . Plus , with all of the antibiotic resistence that has been going on , I did not think taking antibiotics was a good solution . So we tried Tazorac . It did not work . Then the doctor asked me if I had thought about Accutane . Yes , Accutane . Being that I am clinically depressed , and one of the side effects is depression , I really did not think it was a good idea . The only thing left was taking Spironolactone , a drug that is used for hypertension . It is used as an off - label drug for acne . It works by suppressing the male hormones which are responsible for most of the acne seen in woman . There are side effects , of course , but minimal when compared with accutane . I had to have a chem . screen done first because of some effect it has on your kidneys , and I was good to go . I scheduled an appt . for 3 months later , and went on my way . The result : it didn 't work . I was so frustrated ! At my next appt . , she could see that it hadn 't worked . I had two options . Try to up the dose , or try Accutane . We talked about my fears of Accutane , and I told her I would talk with my psychiatrist about it . She then decided to perscribe me the highest dose of spirononlactone to try . Her point about Accutane was that after one or two cycles of it , the acne would be completely gone , so there would be no more drugs to take . With the other drug , I would have to keep taking it pretty much forever . I took the prescription for the other drug , and talked to my pychiatrist about the Accutane . Yeah . He pretty much was ' oh hell no . We agreed why add something like Accutane when I was doing so well with my depression . I would rather have zits than depression ! The problem is this drug has side effects . Menstrual irregularities being # 1 . Let me say that it has not been fun having two periods a month , anPosted by Today I did it . I took my oldest to summer camp , and put the ' baby ' to sleep . I also fell asleep , and didn 't wake up until it was one minute before the time I had to pick S . up . Wouldn 't you know that when I got Tot up , he had a poopy diaper ! When I finally managed to pick S . up , he was standing there alone . I felt horrible ! I profusely apologized to the teachers , who luckily have known me for a while . The kicker to this story is when I walked in I still had the imprint of my pillow on my cheek . Yeah , I didn 't even try to explain why I was late . It was written all over my face . Hubster and I , along with the kids , went to a water park resort this weekend . We had a good time , well , as good of a time as you can have when you bring your kids along ! By Saturday evening we were all feeling the effects of the weekend ' fun . ' While we watching the news , we saw our family members ' town on the screen . They had a tornado touch down by them . All that kept being shown , over and over , was the tornado 's destruction . The tornado had struck down on one of the major highways and as a result , cars and a large semi were knocked down . That part of the highway is still closed . Roofs were blown off houses , and the poor farmers were hit hard . One horse farm had the roof of its stable blown off . When the owners came back from the area they went to when the tornado hit , they found that even though the roof had blown off , all seven horses were still there and they were fine . They looked as though nothing had just happened . It was amazing ! The main problems after the tornado hit , is all of the downed electrical wires as well as possible looting . Aren 't people wonderful ? Being so far away was hard . Not knowing if my family was okay was difficult . All I could think of was that I didn 't have their phone number with me . When we got home this afternoon , I called them to see if they were okay . I prayed they would answer , because if they didn 't , the news would not have been good . The good news is that they answered their phone and were not hit directly . The bad news is they had minor damage to their property , but no power . It isn 't expected to return for another 2 - 3 days . The electric company 's trucks are all over , and doing what they can . My parents were in a horrible tornado in 67 ' , and never did get over the effects . Whenever there was a bad storm and taking cover was advised , my mom would tell us to quickly get in the basement . We always went too slowly for her liking . I think that we never thought we would be touched by a tornado , so we didn 't see the point of rushing . My mom did . When she passed away , I took her copyformerteacher While in the dressing room with your son , you tell him not to ball up his clothes and throw them on the floor . When your oldest says to you , " What 's Tot going to have to do ? " , and you tell him to worry about himself not his brother . When your son tells you something isn 't fair , and you tell him life isn 't fair . . When you tell your kids when they are done with something to put it back where it belongs . When you say how tired you are of all the mess . When you find yourself asking if you 're doing everything around the house . When you ask your son , " Did you not HEAR me ? I told you to . . . " When you ask , " Who 's fed the dog today ? " When you yell at your older son to stop touching his brother ! When you find a toy broken , clothes on the floor etc . . . , and you tell your son he is lucky to have nice things , and he needs to take care of them . . . or Grandpa etc . bought you that and you need to take care of it . Or , " What happened , that 's your good shirt ! You need to take better care of it ! " When one of your children has spilled something , etc . . , and you loudly tell them , " I can 't have anything nice anymore ! " or something along those lines . When you tell your son to ' watch what he 's doing ' in a variety of situations . When you say , " I 'm not going to do it for you . " When you ask , " Why would you do that ? ! " When you yell , " Clean your room ! " * * * So what do you do / say that reminds you of what your parent / s used to say to you ? ? ? Yesterday a couple of my friends and I took our kids to see a play at an arts center in Chicago . We had gone there before , and the kids really enjoyed it . ( We have to keep the kids busy ! ) This time the play was ' Alice in Wonderland . ' The book version always freaked me out , and this play did too . However , the cast did a wonderful job ! The boys were even able to tell me their favorite characters and why they were their favorites . They definitely are getting older ! S . loves going to this Chicago neighborhood , as do I . My cousins ' house is there , and I always remember , as a child , thinking how beautiful it was . This neighborhood also has many little shops , and very few chain stores and restaurants . Living in the burbs ' , it seems all we have are chains ! This neighborhood is not perfect , though . It isn 't as picturesque as it looks . You cannot go east of a certain street , because that neighborhood is terrible . The crime rate has soared in the last decade . However , to the west the neighborhood is still very good . Well , as good as any neighborhood in the city can be . When I was in my early 20 's , I used to go to a bar out there with my friends . The first time I went I assumed , due to it being in the city and all , that there would be an ethnic mix . There was none . The customers were all white , and still are . This bar is Irish , and if you know anything about the Irish in our city , Mayor Daley . . . , they generally tend to be opinionated . They aren 't going to put up with anything , and generally like to stick together . As an example , a guy friend of mine from college said he could never marry me because I wasn 't Irish . Not for any other reason . As a result , we never dated . What would be the point ? Irish ancestry is revered that much here . My point here is there are only white people in this bar . I really couldn 't believe it , as the neighborhood isn 't strictly white , being the city and all . Our bars in the burbs ' have more of a mix . I am not going to slam whites like Father Pleger did at St . Sabina . Personally , I am tired of hearing hPosted by I am a former teacher turned SAHM to two beautiful boys . S is 9 and a half , and Tot is 7 I 've been married to my soulmate for 13 yrs . I also |
June 26 , 2017 | rachrn34 It was September 1982 and I was a sophomore at Fox High School . I was in the marching band and had been playing the flute since I was in fifth grade . Mr . Butler , the band director announced that a marching band was coming from South Africa and we were hosting them . They were all boys and played either the trumpet or the drums . I immediately wanted to host one ( keep one just sounds like they were animals or something ) . So I brought the note home and read it to my mother . She interrupted me two sentences in and wanted to know if they were black or white . I said what difference does it make . She said it didn 't but was just curious . They were white and from outside of Johannesburg . I can still remember the night they arrived . We were all waiting rather impatiently in the band room and it seems like the flight might have been delayed . I 'm thinking it was around 10 : 30pm on a school night before they showed up . My family was assigned to Gary who was not a drummer but a trumpet player . I swear within ten minutes we were carrying on like brother and sister and were best friends for life . I loved calling him a dork . They spent two weeks with us . Gary brought us this copper clock that was a map of Africa . It hung in our living room for years . It was a short two weeks and some of you know the love story with Anton the drummer so you can skip this part . I 'm pretty sure I noticed Anton that very first night . Anton stayed with Scott whom I became very good friends with from this point on . ( Scott is a respiratory therapist in Columbia but In high school he wanted to be a mortician . Personally I find trachs , sputum and respiratory treatments way grosser than a mortician . ) Anyway Anton and I fell fast and hard in teenage love . I would learn I was the first girl he ever noticed . I had a boyfriend at the time who I dumped in a really awful way and broke his heart . If I could go back in time , I would have handled that differently . I had a party for Gary and every single person I invited came . This included the popular boys that I had crushes on during junior high . However I still didn 't think anyone knew me or liked me . My party had no alcohol and my mom present and yet they all came . I 'm sure it was because of Gary . Haha . So in August of 1983 , my sister , my mom and I went to South Africa with Fox High School band for three weeks . My sister was only going into eighth grade but she auditioned on the clarinet and was in the band as well . It was 1500 each for the trip . I raised 1400 and my sister 1300 . I think we sold everything except the kitchen sink . This would affect me as an adult as I will buy almost anything off a kid selling stuff as a fundraiser . As for my own kids , I worked extra shifts to avoid fundraising . I 'd rather rip my eyes out than ask people to buy stuff . However this fundraising made me appreciate the trip much better than if my dad just wrote a check for it . Flying to and from South Africa was horrible . It took almost 24 hours and I had horrible motion sickness but it was worth it to see a different country . My mom , I and my best friend Kathy stayed with Gary . My sister stayed with the Lansom 's who lived around the corner from Andre whom my sister would eventually marry . After the first half of the trip I went and stayed at Anton 's house with Scott and Sarah . The three weeks went by way too fast and we were back home and I started my junior year . Anton would meet a girl sometime around December who he would eventually marry and have two gorgeous daughters . Gary went to chef school and finished it and felt called to missionary work . He joined Covenent players and met his wife Heidi . Three weeks after they were married they came to the US and have been here since . They worked on the east coast but had to travel to west coast for training . They would stop in and see us each time . They were here when Kayla was born which was really cool . They eventually took jobs and settled down . They lived in Texas before this . Gary has bugged me for years to come see him and now that I have he can 't bug me anymore . Ha May 27 , 2017 | rachrn34 This guy came in a kids Burger King meal at least ten years ago . It belonged to my nephew Tyler and he would push the button over and over again and the guy would say I 'm a doctor , not a physicist . It drove Brian 's parents insane so they hid it from him in their house . That summer we went to Disney World with Brian 's parents and his sister and my other nephew Kyle . We took two cars and as always when we traveled we had walkie talkies so that we could talk back and forth . Yes , this was the day before cell phones with unlimited texting . As we were leaving I spotted the guy so we ( ok it was me because I 'm actually ten years old ) snuck him out of the house . About an hour down the road we played him over the walkie talkies . It then became a game the rest of the trip to steal him from car to car and play him and annoy the folks on the other end . Ever since then he has sat on the end table at Brian 's parents house . Every few visits I would push his button just to hear him say " I 'm a doctor , not physicist . " Brian 's parents did not get to come to Emily 's graduation because his mom was in the middle of passing a kidney stone . The stone passed on Saturday and was by far the biggest one I have ever seen in my life . So they gave Emily her gift a few days later . Larry had a nice speech all ready to go and a fancy bag with gift wrap to hand to her . He said since she 's a doctor now , she gets to keep this guy and he can go with her for all her travels . She was thrilled and since she has taken a job as a traveling Physical therapist , this little guy will get to see the country . I was probably more thrilled than her because it 's the kind of crazy gifts I give and I love this stupid toy . January 9 , 2017 | rachrn34 Sometime this past summer I had went to Costco and was looking at TV 's that hang on the wall . I was trying to get an idea on the price for a future purchase . This cute red - headed kid approached me from Direct TV and started talking about ways to save me money . By the time I had gotten away from him , I was saving a seventy dollars a month by switching to direct tv and would be receiving a three hundred - dollar gift card to Costco in the mail . Now our old TV is the kind that has a light bulb and it was never right from the very beginning . Everyone else 's light bulb would last years and ours burned out every three to four months . At first they were two hundred dollars to replace and I finally wised up and found a web site for fifty bucks . So Brian and I both agreed once the current light bulb burned out , we were getting a new TV . So we waited and we waited and we waited and waited some more ! Until finally I said the dang thing isn 't ever going to burn out so lets just get a new one and that is what we did New Years Eve . We purchased a nice sixty - five inch flat screen after Brian told my sister anything over sixty and the picture was too stretched out . She will never let him live that down . And then the issue was what are we going to do with the old fifty - five inch dinosaur that we own . It still works great but I refused to put it in the basement . For starters , I am sick of the lightbulb and to move it down there we would have to redo the entire sitting area and Brian would have to build shelves for my ten million scrapbooks . That thought alone made him agree to get rid of it . First we called the salvation army and they wanted no part of it because it was not a flat screen . We drove up to Goodwill because they would not answer the phone . Same response , that is not a flat screen get lost . So I found a recycling place in Arnold that I had no idea even existed . I drove past it for at least four years when Kayla and Bridget carpooled to dance together . Brian drives up and they take one look at it and said nope it 's not a flat screen go to the dump . Ok not exactly what they said but close enough . During work today Brian 's buddy said if the recycling people won 't take it bring it up to my apartments . He said to set it by the dumpster and it would be gone by morning . Brian said no way would that happen so they bet a dollar . So Allyson and Brian drive up to his friends and he helped them get it off the back of the truck . They hadn 't even set it on the ground before a guy walked up and inquired about the TV . Brian told him it works great , he just bought a new one so his friend helped the stranger carry the TV into his apartment . After that Brian paid his friend a dollar . July 21 , 2016 | rachrn34 I 'm an animal lover and especially of dogs . When I was little I had no intention of getting married or having children but was going to own a dog farm instead . Somewhere back in 1985 I met my future husband and the dog farm went out the window . Growing up we had two dogs . The first was fluffy a black and white beagle who was a great dog . My mom didn 't feel it was fair to leave her tied up to the dog house and needed a place to run . She told us she had found a man with a farm to take her . I would find out many years later she gave her to animal control . I am pretty sure everyone knows how that turned out . Our next dog I found in the paper . He was a terrier mix and we named him Frisky . He was a great dog too and one day he was walking with my friend Diane and I to the little store when someone shot off fireworks . Those made him crazy and he shot out across the street and got hit by a car right in front of me . The girl who hit him was actually a neighbor so she took me home to get my mom . By the time we got back he was gone . My mom dug a hole in the backyard with the help of Diane 's mom and buried him later that evening . About six months later she read the book Pet Cemetery and had a heck of a time sleeping knowing he was under her window . Brian and I were married less than a year when a friend of his at work had a litter of beagles so in April of 1991 we brought Annie home . The stories I could tell of that crazy dog are endless . She ate everything that wasn 't nailed to the floor and lived another day . Some of the most unusual were an entire bar of soap ( Irish Spring I do believe ) , a tub of margarine , 200 Ande 's mints , the top to mine and Brian 's wedding cake ( it was chocolate too ) . She was so good with the kids and one day I locked myself out of the house with Allyson in it by herself . She was maybe 18 months at the time . I had to borrow Beverly 's car to drive to the credit union to get my extra key from my sister . When I got back I found Annie and Allyson underneath her baby bed . Annie left us when she was 15 and I first told the kids she had a brain tumor but I am a horrible liar and they learned I had sent her to heaven . She was walking around pooping and not even knowing it . If you startled her she would attempt to bite you because she couldn 't hear well . She would wake up in the middle of the night howling thinking it was time to eat . It was the hardest thing I ever did , but it was time . When Emily and Kayla were little we had two Guinea Pigs . They were Wilbur ( from Charlotte 's web ) and Clumsy . ( Don 't let kids name pets ) . Wilbur was wild hair and brown and white . Clumsy was all white and I wanted Emily to call him Whitey but she would not cooperate . They were great pigs and lived for at least five years . Wilbur died first and then Whitey . For some reason I just wrapped them up in newspaper and put them in the trash . I am not sure what the heck I was thinking . We went through a hermit crab phase and when they passed we buried them where our tomato plants grew . Emily had a rabbit named George that hated everyone except for Allyson . She was the only one who could pick him up . After Emily went to college I would open the door and waited until he jumped out before I would make a mad dash for the bowl before he could come back in and try to bite me . When he passed away I put him in the deep freeze until Emily came home for the funeral . ( He was triple wrapped and not near any of the food ) . It really sucks calling someone to tell them their pet died . And I got to do that again today . Emily has two Guinea pigs . She got the hairy one first and then started reading about hairless ones . There is a breeder in Red Bud IL so she contacted her and we went and got him one day . That girl lived out in the middle of nowhere and her guinea pig room must have had two hundred pigs in their . Some were hairless and some carried the gene . I just can 't imagine cleaning all of those cages . Emily named them Squeaks and Squawks . ( She 's still a kid with the names ) . She 's been in Oklahoma this summer doing her first full - time PT clincial 's . They gave her a place to stay for free so she decided to leave the pigs with me . This evening I went down to feed them and found Squeaks gone . I was more upset about having to tell Emily than having to wrap up Squeaks . So I brought Squawks upstairs and held him for a while . Squeaks was laying out in the cage and Squawks had barricaded himself in his hut and put the food dish in the entry way of the hut . I have no idea what that was all about . After that I went running and I hadn 't even hit two miles before Emily started texting me links to Guinea Pigs for sale . I told her Squawks needed time to grieve and she can find him a friend when she is back in Missouri . July 14 , 2016 | rachrn34 Do not panic , I am not changing my hair color . Although my natural color is probably pretty much silver ( aka grey ) . Anyway I had to say goodbye to my red Saturn VUE . I purchased it eleven years ago next month , hoping to drive it for seven years and then I hoped to make it until Kayla graduated from high school . ( Kayla is starting her third year of college this fall . ) Then I could take her dance tuition and apply it to a car payment . Well the car lasted two years longer than I had ever dreamed of so I was very happy . I took the car to get inspected last week and they informed me it would be at least seven hundred dollars to get it to pass inspection . I was surprised but I really wasn 't . I was at 184 , 000 miles and it was running really loudly . Well my husband told the gal I am trading it in and not fixing it . She tried to tell him we needed to fix it to get a good trade in . I looked it up on Kelly Blue Book and saying my car was in fair condition was a stretch which put it at about five hundred dollars . So there was no way that was happening . I really didn 't want to do the haggle thing so I found true value and signed up that way . That put me at the Lou Fuse Mazda dealership about fifteen minutes from work . So they called me while I was at work to set up an appointment . I told them I could come after work and they asked me twice if I was really going to come . I finally said I will be there unless my patient codes and dies at the end of my shift and I will call to reschedule . That totally put the girl on the phone off her rocker . She got so off kilter she could barely reply . Only I would say something like that . When I walked into the place and told them I had an appointment they said " you really did show up " . I looked them right in the eye and said I told you I would be here unless my patient coded and died and I 'm here so they all survived . A great ice - breaker only a nurse would use . The guy I had the appointment with was busy with someone else so I ended up having another guy help me and then he came and helped too . First thing they said was how about an automatic . I said " absolutely not , not going to happen . I picked the Mazda CX - 5 because it comes in a stick . This keeps my teenagers from driving my car . " I also informed them I was a cheap skate and not paying for a bunch of unnecessary luxuries . They were dying . So they looked around and found a silver car at another dealer about two hours away so they were going to have to go get it . In the meantime they ran my credit and I didn 't even have to use Brian to get approved . They test drove the red car and wanted to give me a hundred dollars for it but ended up giving me four hundred and if I 'm real honest that was probably very generous . So we agreed I would come back Wednesday after work to pick up my new car . It would be the next day before I remembered I had a meeting after work , so Wednesday would be out . As it turned out with the storms on Wednesday , it was not a good day for the dealership so I said great I have a meeting with my financial advisor early Thursday morning and then I will swing by after that . So today I show up at the office and Marcus is like " um our appointment is next Thursday . " I was like oh crap you are right . So I told him I was purchasing a new car and we would have much to talk about next week . I had some time to kill so I decided to go see what a Pokemon stop was all about . That was kind of lame so I went to the dealership . Right before I was to turn in , I smoked a bird and when I looked in the rearview mirror it was flopping around on the ground . I asked God to kill it right then , so it wouldn 't have to suffer . Now I was the one was off kilter . My salesman said at least I hit it with the old car and not the new . He then shared with me that the guy that test drove it , said there was no way I would make it back . The thing would fall apart . So I think I traded it in just in the nick of time . After two hours of chatting and paperwork the car was finally mine . I wasn 't really excited until I drove off . And all the guys were right , the clutch was sweet . I quickly realized how crappy my car really was . My new ride is smooth and sweet . Goodbye Red Hello Silver Mole Moral ~ After not having car payments for seven years , I am currently looking for a sugar daddy . Please contact me if you are interested . BAHAHAHAHA July 1 , 2016 | rachrn34 It has taken me a while to write this blog because Rob Bell is so controversial . This will not be about his controversy or a debate about him . If you have no idea what I am speaking about google him and you will be enlightened within seconds . I was first introduced to Rob Bell ( he is one of the people who I always refer to with both names , just like my best friend Meg Barry ) back in 2003 . My church showed his first Nooma video , Rain during service . It was ten minutes long and so interesting and good that I probably fell in love with him right then and there . He would eventually release another 23 Nooma 's for the series . I would be in two different small groups that did a study on some of the films . His first Everything is Spiritual tour was in 2006 and I went to it . I will never forget it was at Mississippi Nights on the landing . He had this gigantic white board that he talked and wrote all over . I looked around and the workers were totally enthralled in what he was saying and listened to every word . Afterwards my friend Dianne and I went up and asked him to sign our copies of his first book , Velvet Elvis . He looked at my book and said this is one of those illegal copies I heard about , but have never seen . I could have died right there and crawled into the floor if it were possible . I had gotten the book from a Crossings , a Christian website so after that all of his books have come from Amazon . Only I would have an illegal copy and then ask Rob Bell to sign it . Once podcasts became available I started downloading his sermons and burning to CD 's to listen in my car . If he wasn 't speaking that week , I listened anyway . It 's how I heard about Ed Dobson . I do believe he was a retired preacher that guest spoke . He also had been battling ALS for eight years at the time . He was still doing well and had a lot of mobility . He spoke about it one week and I remember burning a copy and sending it to my friends husband who has since passed from ALS . I just looked Ed up and discovered he passed away 12 / 26 / 2015 and lived with ALS for 15 years . This makes me sad as I never did meet him but I remember the year he attempted to live as Jesus did . It 's crazy to think of burning CD 's to listen to as now I can just load them in my phone and listen to them via my radio . Technology has really gone crazy in the last twenty years . Rob swears he came to St . Louis last year but if he did I missed it . All of the other times he has been out on speaking tours they have been too far away . This year however , I discovered he was going to be in Tulsa Oklahoma at the same time Emily was going to be in Norman Oklahoma for Physical Therapy clinical 's . So I googled how close they were and informed her I would come visit her while she was there because I would miss her . She said nice try , you just want to see Rob Bell . Busted ! The night before the event I made the mistake of googling him because it had been a while . The controversy surrounding him was now off the charts . It seems as if Love Wins was just the beginning . I hadn 't really followed him much after he left Mars Hills , after all he wasn 't preaching so I had no CD 's to make . Anyway I started questioning if I should even go the next day . I mean I might get sucked in and come out a horrible person or something . However I paid a hundred dollars for this eight - hour event so I was going simply because of that . I did the math wrong in my head and left too late from Emily 's to make it on time . It was an hour and forty - five minute from her place to the event . I showed up ten minutes late but he had just started . I of course had to run to the bathroom because I had drunk 24 ounces of coffee on the way over . His venue was Cains and looked like it would be the perfect place for country line dancing . It very much reminded me of Mississippi Nights ten years ago in Saint Louis only this time the chairs were in a square with him in the middle . It was how Mars Hill was set up . ( I visited his church back in 2009 on the way home from Niagara Falls . ) I quickly realized I was glad I had come . The day was about his book How to be Here and he said a lot of people leave and quit their jobs . That at some point every one will have their ah ha moment and he then said you 're welcome . Well I couldn 't imagine quitting my job because I love it . I have also tried to leave at least three times and I got a big fat NO from God . No he didn 't speak to me but other things happened that were directly related and I knew I needed to stay right where I was . So in October I will be on Women 's Health for sixteen years . I am not sure where the time went . The day came and went and I never had that moment until the next day when I was driving home trying to take in everything I heard the day before . Hello , my moment was ten minutes in when I knew I made the right decision to show up . Rob Bell was still the Rob Bell I remembered from the videos and the sermons . And yes he has said some crazy off the wall stuff but don 't you think people said the same thing about Jesus back in his day . No I am not saying Rob Bell is Jesus ( look I am crazy but not that crazy ) and I am not saying if he is right or wrong , I am just simply pointing out that some of the same stuff said about Rob , may have been said about Jesus . There is one thing he said that really made me think and still has me freaked out . He said to the people who believe in Left Behind , he does not . He feels that Jesus already came back when the temple was destroyed in 70 AD . that he was supposed to return in the disciples lifetime and that would be his way of doing it . I was like wait a minute , you mean I have no hope of Jesus returning now and saving me from this crap known as the mess of the world we created . That sucks . But I have also had an issue with Left Behind theory anyway . Why would the people who rejected him who are still living get a second chance to accept him when everyone else who died were already sent to hell . Talk about unfair . However it just shows how little anyone really knows about what is to come . Maybe he 's right , maybe he 's wrong . Maybe hOne last thing and then I 'm going to stop typing . He spoke a little bit about what happened after Love Wins came out . It was weird while he was talking I could feel his pain . I feel this is most likely because I never realized what it might have been like for him when the Christian community ( many who were close friends ) just cut him off and acted like he no longer existed . He said churches would contact him stating they had written seven page papers about why his book was wrong . There were actually people picketing him and I got the feeling ( just my feeling ) that he was pretty much run out of the town we grew up in . And no matter who you are , how close you are to God that has to hurt ! My own church never mentioned his name again after the book came out . I spoke to him after the talk and had my picture taken with him . I told him I did not bring a book because of what happened the last time . He cracked up laughing . We discussed his leaving the church and he says it seems like so long ago and he 's glad to be gone . I bet he is because the longer you are in a church the more and more things you tend to find wrong . Everyone criticizes everyone and it just gets stupid . I am sure he is more happy just going around meeting people and talking in this environment . How did Jesus interact with people ? In a building with rules and religion ? Nope out in the crowds . Again Rob Bell is not Jesus it 's just interesting the parallel . I swear if anyone publishes something saying I called Rob Bell the next Jesus I will lose my mind . Oh wait I lost it years ago . Mole Moral ~ I 'm glad I listened to my gut and went . Rob Bell no longer calls himself a pastor as he does not have a " church " with a set group of members . It was thought provoking eight hours . June 25 , 2016 | rachrn34 It 's been a while since I have written much . A week or two ago I was going to finally write about my dog but then I added up what I spent and I became so angry again that I couldn 't do it . However , its been a week since then and I 've had some time to reflect . I originally took my dog to the vet on a Monday because she wasn 't able to jump up on the couch and started having trouble walking up the steps . The vet did an X - ray and saw an area around T - 12 on her spine that was losing density . She had never seen that before and it was concerning to her , so she sent it out to have a specialist look at it . There was a good possibility it was cancer . I should have called on Thursday to see if it had been read but I 'm going to be real here and say I was afraid they were going to tell me it was cancer and she only had a week or two left . By the time Sunday came she could barely stand up and was screaming and crying in the way dogs do . So I load her up in the car and take her to VSS . They come out to get her and she jumps out of the car and starts walking around . They charge me a hundred bucks for different pain medicine and told me to get the x - ray read . I did not know at this time that they were the ones who were suppose to be reading it . Monday arrives and the dog won 't even put her back leg down and by this time she is only getting up two or three times a day to potty and that is it . I call the vet and inform them she 's coming in . Now somewhere between the time I called and arrived VSS finally took a look at the x - ray . Now isn 't that convenient . They feel she has a bladder infection that seeded to her T - 12 vertebral plate . Say what ? My vet had never heard of this and because the dog was in such bad shape I had them keep her there overnight . They ran some tests and finally got a urine sample and sure enough Moonie had a bladder infection . The craziest thing is Moonie never acted like she had one . She never peed in the house , asked to go out a million times or anything . Just one day she couldn 't jump up on the couch . I pick her up on Tuesday because the guy at the desk couldn 't take her whining anymore . They had to take her out of the cage she was in and put her in the extra exam room so she would be quiet . I naively thought after a day or two of antibiotics she would be back to her old self . She came home on codeine , gabepentin , augmentin , vetprofen , and pepcid . I was giving her stuff four times a day . She was on more medicine than half of the patients at my work . After about a week we switched out her codeine for tramadol and she took a second round of antibiotics . She finally got off everything this past Sunday and so far she can do everything except jump up on the furniture . I realized over the past week that it isn 't really the obscene amount of money we spent to get her almost back to baseline . Although it does make me crazy because I am a money nazi . It 's the fact of how VSS acted and my vet . My vet should have followed up with them on Thursday . I should have called and asked but like I said I was afraid it was cancer . Is this how VSS would treat their mothers , grandmothers , or their own dog . I highly doubt they would mess around and wait an entire week until their dog is in so much pain she can 't even get up to go to the bathroom . However , I know if it was their dog , someone would have looked at it immediately . Often at work I remind myself to treat each patient as if she were a family member . It makes a huge difference with that mindset . Now that I am calm , I plan to send VSS a letter and my approach will be more about how much needless suffering and pain my dog endured due to their incompetence rather than the money . Because in the big picture money is money that isn 't going with me when I die . Compassion and lack of it may be accounted for in Heaven . |
It is so funny how the seasons work in this part of the world ! Fall seems to have started just as abruptly as summer ended . This afternoon Thomas and I about got blown away from the very cool winds while we waited for Gracie to get off of the bus . Usually Strasburg is so pretty in the fall . Then again it is my favorite season and to me just about any place is pretty . But , it has been so dry for weeks that the leaves have turned brown and crumpled instead of turning those pretty reds , oranges & yellows that I love to see . Which made Gracie 's homework rather difficult this afternoon . Inside Gracie 's backpack was a request for examples of fall . This was her first homework assignment and since we live in a townhouse with very few trees , we had to drive to the park . I figured we would have better luck there , but as I said it has been so dry . We found a few leaves that had changed color and Gracie found some acorns . We also put some berries and a pine cone in the Ziplock bag for her to return to school tomorrow . It didn 't take too long to gather all of the items , but it took a while to find signs of fall in this very crispy town . Gracie of course wanted to stay and play , but it was chilly outside and Thomas still has a runny nose , and our favorite guest was coming over for dinner . So , we gathered the fall things and headed back . And , while there aren 't a lot of color changes to see , mommy felt fall in the air today and opened all the windows in the house and even made homemade vegetable soup . I LOVE this season ! The crime scene was gruesome . At least from the carpet 's perspective . A green amoeba - looking car shape was drawn on the carpet , immediately beside where Gracie was drawing with her magic markers on Sunday morning . I was livid . Not only was this out of character for my Gracie , it was a breach of trust . Gracie gets to have markers in the living room , but on the explicit condition that she not draw on anything but paper . And we 've never had a problem until now . " Did you draw on the carpet ? ! " I half - yelled , hearing my father 's voice come out of my mouth . " No , " Gracie replied , looking me right in the eye . " You didn 't draw on the carpet with a magic marker ? " Barbara continued . " No , " said Gracie . Since Thomas was nowhere to be seen ( and he 's yet to show any artistic inclination ) this was an open and shut case . Still , I was absolutely bound and determined not to falsely accuse my child of doing something wrong . So , we did a little forensic investigation of the crime scene . My first exculpatory theory was that she could have drawn something on a piece of paper on top of the carpet , and the green marker just bled through . " Gracie , I need to see everything you 've drawn today , " I said . She responded by handing over a pile of drawings . Lots of trees , lots of princesses . But not one of them had a green amoeba / car shape anywhere on the paper . Not good . " So how did this happen ? " I asked . " I dropped it , and it made that mark , " she said , looking dead at me again . I doubted that a dropped magic marker could draw an amoeba shape , but just to be sure , we put caps on several markers and ran some tests . " Drop this marker just like you dropped the green one , " I ordered . She dropped it . It bounced , plainly NOT tracing out an amoeba shape on the carpet . " Hmm , that didn 't make a round shape . Try this one . " She dropped it again , this time imparting a bit of spin to the marker on the way down , getting it to move in somewhat of a small circle when it hit . Still no amoeba shape , though . " Still not right . Try this one . " Seven markers ( and some pretty niftyPosted by For the first time in 6 years , Garren and I celebrated our anniversary with a dinner out . Yep , now that I type it out - - it is clearly sad . Now , I have a husband who doesn 't " forget " the date of our anniversary , we just never do anything to celebrate . Having kids seems to suck the energy , life , and money out of a couple and we just never found the opportunity to get out of the house with out kids and remember why we got married . Now , technically our anniversary isn 't until Tuesday , but we got an early 9th anniversary gift from Aunt Ruth and Uncle George . They insisted on keeping BOTH of my kiddos for the evening so we could enjoy each others company . Seeing how we rarely get to go out to eat , and when we do my food is usually cold because I have to cut up someonelse 's portions , take someone to the potty 5 times , wipes faces , feed bottles . . . etc ; I can 't imagine why I hesitated on taking them up on this offer . Well , I do know why . I am one of those people ( I might be the only one ) , who think that my children are my problem ( and joy ) . No one else should have to take care of them , listen to them , be annoyed by them , dress them , feed them . . etc . It is solely my burden to bear . After all , I choose to have them . In our younger days ( before kids ) , Garren and I would get disgusted at the couples who would take their small ones to restaurants and act oblivious to them throwing food , throwing temper tantrums , crawling under tables . . . you get the idea . And now that I have children , I still don 't think anyone else should have to hear them . We would leave if either ever made a scene , and I thoroughly clean the table , get down on the floor and pick up any dropped food or napkins , stack all plates , and wipe the table off before we leave a restaurant ( which embarrasses the snot out of my husband ! ) . No one should have to clean up after them either . So , perhaps now the fact that Gracie was 4 before she got her first babysitter ( and that was only so Garren could go with me to see our new baby on the ultrasound ) might make a little more sense . Posted by My children are acting a little more normal these days , which while is a relief , is also very annoying . In the beginning Thomas and Gracie adored each other . She took to him far better than most siblings take new a new baby that will surely invade their space and attention . And , for months the adoration continued . People would ask how she was doing and I was thrilled to tell them that she adored her brother , and he clearly adored her . I was a proud mother , but in the back of my mind I kept thinking - - " this is too good to be true . " At 7 months , I think the " honeymoon period is over . " No longer does Thomas tolerate anything his sister does to him . And , no longer does Gracie find all of his actions oh so cute . While Gracie still loves her little brother , Thomas finds her hugs and her face in his face not so wonderful anymore . She wants to constantly squish him , and he will let out a " mommy she is touching me ! " fuss in a matter of seconds . Of course she looks very innocent and replies " I was just trying to hug him . " And then when he cries she decides to soothe him with a " song . " A - top - of - the - lungs - shouting - in - his - face with words she made up " song . " Which , of course makes him cry louder and then a shouting match ensues . As for Thomas , he is mobile now ( although still not technically crawling he can get where he wants ) and he finds all the things she leaves on the floor . You would think that you tore off the head of her favorite doll when she sees him touching her things . Her backpack is the worst culprit . Then of course are her papers or drawings that she " forgets " to put up . He looks at you so very innocent , but there is this tiny little speck of " ha ! I told you to stop squishing me ! ! " It doesn 't take long before they " make up , " and they are best friends again , but the proverbial line in the sand is likely not too far off . All of this behavior is normal , in fact the way those two were before was more in the " uncommon " behavior category . I figure they will have a mix of what Garren and I had . My brother was my baby and he anPosted by You have heard the term " his bark is worse than his bite . " Well , that can be said for Thomas as well . I often let it slip just how " active " my little man is . And , he is in fact a handful , but unless you have met him in person , you will never know just what a cuddle bear he is . He is far more cuddly than his sister ever was ( at any age ) , and I am LOVING all of the snuggle times that I get with him . Besides being a cuddler , Thomas is also one of the happiest babies on the planet . You would think he had been born at Disney World ! His smile seems to be contagious . With Gracie , I hardly ever let her go , but he makes people so happy , that I can 't help but share him . On Sunday mornings he goes from arms to arms and it is so amazing to watch these people light up around him . People often comment on just how happy he seems and want to know if he is like that all the time . The short answer : yes ! He has his moments , and extremes . While he is super happy most of the time , you do NOT want to see him upset . It is amazing how much noise and temper can come out of such a small body . But like I said , his bark is worse than his bite . And , I ( and many others ) are storing away those amazing hugs and cuddles that he likes to give out . You 've gotta love my ideas ! Actually , this one came from Olivia . Olivia is a cantankerous pig from the best selling stories by Ian Falconer that has been made in to a Nick Jr . ( & Noggin ) show . Well , last week Olivia wants to be a painter and paint a mural after visting a museum with her parents . She doesn 't have a piece of paper big enough , but she eventually completes her masterpiece . This gave me a great idea , and Gracie was so excited when I showed her our surprise activity after school . She saw the lines of paper I had taped to the wall and shouted " yea it 's a miracle ! " To which I softly replied " No honey , it 's a mural . " It took her no time at all to get started on her paper . She drew and colored an extra large princess , and went on to create several other " princess " themed drawings . She even let mommy help . I got to make the castle . This has been a fun project that has taken up most of the afternoon and I think will take up the rest of the week . She is having so much fun , and I am thrilled that we are getting back some of that mommy & Gracie time I miss so much now that she is at school . . . . well , future fans anyway . Daddy loved the outfits and I even snapped a picture of all three of them dressed in their UT Orange . While daddy is the Tennessee football fan , for all of those taking notes - - mommy is the one who attended and graduated from there ; ) Click to enlarge . Thomas pulls the face out constantly lately ! It is a cross between Yoda & little old man . It is a hilarious face , once you get used to it . Oh , and he snorts too - - just like his Uncle Brian used to ! It has been a long second week of school here in Shipley house . Gracie has done well and Thomas and I are adjusting better . I am finding that getting up at the crack of dawn leads to a lot more things getting done around the house , and Thomas is find more peace with his sister gone - - well , actually I think he is loving the constant 1 on 1 attention and will fuss if I turn my head away from his direction ! This week Gracie did music , computer & library in between gym days . She told me they did songs for music , and not much for computer . I told her that they would have to learn about the computers first . In her classroom they worked on letters A - E , to which she did very well . They also made the cutest crafts with Nursery Rhyme themes . They also studied the life of the butterfly and got to watch " The Very Hungry Caterpillar . " It rained on Thursday , but not much . I asked her what they did for recess , but she couldn 't remember - - just that they didn 't get to go outside . She picked out snacks for her classroom when we went grocery shopping on Wednesday , so I dropped them off Thursday morning at her school . I just went to the front desk and didn 't go to her classroom . But , I got a lovely thank you note from her teacher saying the kids loved the Fruit Roll Ups and she appreciated them since they aren 't messy . The bus seems to be still going well for Gracie , and the little friend she made at the bus stop has the same recess time her class does , so they get to play together every day . And she is making more new friends . Last week her " new best school friend " was a little girl named Morgan . This week she was moved to a different table ( I have already panicked , emailed the teacher , and received nothing but praises about Gracie and was told she was moved to positively influence other kids ) , and now she has a new friend . 3 friends in the first 2 weeks of school was more than I could hope for . She is clearly thriving and doing well and I couldn 't be more proud . This new schedule has really kicked all of our tooshy 's and Gracie ended up wPosted by Daddy is feeling my pain tonight . Gracie leaving for Kindergarten didn 't break his heart , telling him she no longer needed help in the shower did . Daddy has almost always taken care of bathing Gracie . In the beginning it hurt my back to lean over the tub and help her get clean , and then when she needed to do showers ( and you may remember the terror over washing her hair ! ! ! ) I couldn 't reach the shower head without having to stand on the side of the tub . This being dangerous , Daddy kept on " bath " duty . In the past few months we have made great strides at getting Gracie over her fear of " shower thingy " ( the shower head ) and she has really been proud of being able to get her hair wet . And now , she can shampoo and rinse by herself . So , when daddy went to help her tonight . . . she didn 't need him . She turned the water on herself , found the right temperature , washed , rinsed , got out , and got ready all by herself . To make us feel better she came downstairs and said " I still love you even when though I don 't need you anymore . " She had a huge smile on her face , and I think sensing that was the biggest knife in our collective chests , she corrected herself . " Well , I will still need you for grown up things , " We will take what we can get . And , I hope this is it for awhile , I don 't know if I can handle any more separation . And , finally , I don 't think Daddy can either . Well Grandma and Grandpa got what they wanted for Grandparents day . . . they got to see their babies ! Well , 2 of them anyway . Mom and Dad surprised Gracie by showing up for church this morning to hear her sing . Yep , they drove 3 hours just to hear her sing a total of 3 minutes , but I am sure they would tell you it was the best 3 minutes ever . After church they even took all of us to lunch at Denny 's and let Gracie get cake after her pancake breakfast . And , no they didn 't even ask us about - - they just let her order it ! Gracie was very heartbroken to see them go this afternoon , but we were glad they could spend the day . Hopefully Gracie 's crockodile tears didn 't take away from their very nice visit . And to all of the other grandparents out there who have their grandbabies near by or far away . . . Happy Grandparents Day ! My little angel did a wonderful job this morning ! It took me forever to download these videos , but I hope you enjoy listening to her sing as much as I did . I was one proud mama ! I should have mentioned that Gracie is the little one on the front row . I didn 't realize how small the video boxes were . She is the third from the left . The choir director is Ms . Karen , and Aunt Ruth plays the piano ! : ) Thomas didn 't have to wait until he was 5 years old to cheer for our Rams , he is already a purple fan at 7 months old . Being the hermit crabs that we are , we waited until we had lived here for more than 5 years to go and watch the local high school football team . Well , we had so much fun with Gracie last year , that we decided to go again this year . And , hopefully we will see several more before the end of the season . Thomas made it all the way through the halftime show before the tired crankies set in . I was so glad that he finally napped well today ( for the first time this week ! ) , so he could stay up and see all the colors and people . We took separate cars so that Gracie could stay later and enjoy more of the game . Gracie , of course , had a great time cheering for the team and sported last years pom poms . While watching the cheerleaders , and band , and the game was fun - - clearly getting to sit with their favorite person in the world made the game much more fun . Nope , not mommy . . . " Aunt Ruth . " We have decided to call her that now that she is one of the family . Our minister also sat with us tonight and thanks to him each of my children have a purple mini Strasburg football . For a man who never played childhood sports - - he can catch a ball in the stands : ) He also got Gracie a purple cushion seat , so she was spoiled all night long ! We had a great family night , and I can 't tell you how wonderful it was to share the experience with friends . I was thinking as I took a very sleepy Thomas home , that I don 't feel so alone any more , and it is a great feeling . We have people who care about us and are glad to be in our lives - - and we care about them . Who could ask for anything more ? ! On her first day of school I tried to get her to sit with the other little boy in her class that we found at the bus stop - - but they got seperated in all the hustle and bustle . But , on her ride home that day she told me she sat next to a little girl . I didn 't think much of it , except how glad I was to have her home and that she was in one piece and fine . But , apparently she and this little girl ( whom I found out this morning is also a Kindergartner ) are now best bus buddies . Yesterday ( day # 2 ) when we got to the top of the hill she walked over and grabbed this little girl 's hand and they climbed the bus steps together . It was too cute , but it took me by surprise and I didn 't have my camera ready . Well , apparently they found each other after school and rode home together as well . This morning ( day # 3 ) we had to make a mad dash for the bus . Yep , I haven 't run for the bus in over 15 years , but Gracie and I ran up the hill since the bus was nearly 8 minutes early ! ( Thank goodness there are 30 + kids at this ( the only ) stop , we bought time as they took several minutes to filter on ! ) After I reached the top and stopped panicking , Gracie saw her friend and they ran and gave each other hugs . Once I caught my breath I got the camera out and grabbed a picture of the two friends . They were the last ones on the bus , but found a seat up front and seemed to be very happy as they made their way to school . Tomorrow , we leave at 7 : 35 , who knows how early he will be and I am too old to make a mad dash for the bus with a 5 year old in tow ! : ) Gracie 's second day seemed to have been a success as well . I meant to record her reactions yesterday , but with all that was going on I just got pictures . But , here 's a little clip of her getting off the bus and telling about her day . And my many thanks again to so many people who showed their support through the past 48 hours ! ! ! email to family & friends 9 / 8 / 09She 's officially a Kindergartner , and officially away from home . Well , at least for 8 hours a day , which is far more than she has ever been away from me . Her first day seemed to be a success as she didn 't get lost or cry - - which is more than I can say for mommy . Although , I did hold off on the tears until I got back to our front door . Putting Gracie on that bus was both proud and heartbreaking . But she was a true champion and waved to me and looked so happy she could burst . She had a great day and loved the lunch I packed her ( complete with PB & J and a special note from mommy ) . She came home with two certificates from school and a HUGE grin on her face . And , we do it all again tomorrow . We hope that if your child started school today they had a fantastic day ! And mommy thanks the many , many , many people who thought about us and prayed for me this morning as I struggled with what might be the hardest thing I have had to do ( thus far ) in my parental life . We made it through ( although mommy not so gracefully ) and I am pretty sure I earned the biggest parenting sticker ever , the one that signifies " letting go . " You can see pictures and read more about Gracie 's day on our blog . Lots of Love to you all , Barbara , Garren , Gracie & Thomas She was 40 minutes late , but she is home safe and sound ! I was prepared for the bus to be late , as I noticed other mom 's who blogged about back to school , mentioned they waited sometimes and hour for the bus on that first day . I am proud to say I didn 't panic as the dad next to me told me it was 4 : 00 . They were supposed to be dropped off at 3 : 29 . Nope , I waited until I saw that the bus that pulled up was # 1 and not # 14 - - and then I panicked ! ! Of course Gracie got off the bus and you could see she was proud . She gave me the biggest hug and kiss and I told her how much I missed her . I asked her about the bus number and she said " just for today ! " That was about all the conversation I got in . My motor mouth hasn 't stopped yet , although you can clearly see how tired she is from her big day . Today was library day and she proudly showed me the Clifford book she checked out . She ate most of her lunch , and she had a sticker on her dress for being good . In her backpack was a first day of school certificate , and a good napper certificate . Mommy made a her a little card and baked her some bus cookies . I had planned on chocolate chip , but when we saw those Pilsbury Ready To Make cookies with buses on them - - we had to get them ! So she had her milk and cookies for snack . And , I am not the only one glad to have her home . Thomas has been the biggest fuss - pot today . I know our schedule is off , but I really think he missed her . You have to love the look on his face when his sister got off the bus . So , all in all she had a great day , and now it is off to finish our day and start all over again tomorrow . Thank you so much for all of the friends and family who have sent me supportive emails and comments over the past few days , and for all of the prayers I know were said for Gracie and I . You will never know how much I appreciate them ! Oh , and I have added more pictures to her Kindergarten photo album from today . Click here . Gracie is off to school , and while I have no idea at this very moment where my oldest child is - - I am trying hard not to think about it . I made it until she climbed the stairs of the bus , and then I had to bite my lip ( HARD ) not to cry in front of the other kids and parents . Gracie got up easily this morning at 7am , but commented " I didn 't know my room was so dark at 7 in the morning . " I had to laugh , but reassured her she would get used to it . I also noted to myself that it wouldn 't always be this easy to get her up and going . My excited girl ate her breakfast and brushed her teeth and even got dressed in record time . In fact we had about 10 minutes to burn before it was time to leave the house , so she played with Thomas . I took millions of pictures and we left the house . We watched as many other parents took millions of pictures of their kids ( including Dylan down the street - - who doesn 't ride the bus ) . We walked up the hill and saw the massive amounts of kids waiting along the road where the bus stops . I didn 't count them , my nerves couldn 't have taken it . When we arrived at the top of the hill I noticed a little boy with a Kindergarten tag like Gracie 's . I asked his mom if he was a Kindergartner too . He was , and he is in Gracie 's class ! ! I felt so much relief . I asked him if Gracie could sit next to him on the bus . He didn 't answer , but it seemed okay . Then the bus arrived . The 30 or more kids made a bee line for the doors , but had to step back when the driver announced " Sandy Hook . " He was making sure the little kids got on first . Gracie was the last in line , but she stepped up proudly and waved to me . Jacob ( the other Kindergartner ) got on several kids before her , and I don 't think they ended up together . But , I am hopeful that maybe they will on the ride home . That 's when I about lost it . She turned the corner to walk down the isle and I couldn 't see her anymore . I tried to find her in the window but couldn 't . So I walked around the other side and finally got a glimpse of a shadow of her hair bow . So , I know she waPosted by School dress ironed . . . ( Adorable checkered old fashioned dress with school house applique ! ! ) checkHair bow to match dress made . . . ( blue ribbon with school bus ) checkNew shoes bought and laid out . . . ( she picked out pink ( of course ! ) Nike 's ) checkBackpack packed and ready . . . ( folder for teacher with all the signed paperwork ) checkHugs & Kisses bag made and put in backpack . . . . . ( I made her one for preschool and told her I filled it with hugs and kisses and whenever she missed me she could pull one out . So , I had to make one to send to Kindergarten with her - - she might need them there too ! ) checkLunch made . . . ( except the sandwich , I will wait until morning ) check Note from mommy in lunchbox . . . . checkKindergartner showered and blow dried . . . ( thanks to Daddy ! ) checkStories about first day of Kindergarten read . . . ( We Like Kindergarten ( my favorite as a child ! ! ) , Tucker 's Best School Day , Giraffe Goes To School , & Arthur 's Back To School Surprise ) checkKindergartner in bed . . . ( after snapping a picture of her last night before school ) checkMommy calm cool and collected . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just as I am having to watch my first born leave the nest . . . now I am having to watch my not - quite - 7 - month old get along fine without me as well . Well , it 's not that dramatic , and he isn 't technically crawling - - but he can get to anywhere , and any THING he wants . He doesn 't use his hands , but scoots along with his legs and belly . It 's kind of like a seal getting around out of water . But , don 't turn your back because he is quicker than you think . I fear that since he can get around with out much trouble this will delay him using his hands and actually crawling , but I am sure he will figure it out eventually . I looked back and Gracie crawled when she was 7 months and 5 days . He is a few days shy of 7 months , so they seem to be about the same in this milestone . And , if getting nearly crawling weren 't enough - - he has decided he wants his own cup . I had been having trouble getting him to take his bottle ever since we started him on solid foods . So , today in a fit of " well fine - - if you don 't want your bottle you can have a cup . " Well , that made him happy . So , I guess it is off to the store to get those sippy cups with the two side handles . What is it with my kids and them growing up so fast ! ! ! This kiddo better slow down , I can 't handle another Kindergartner yet . It was way too hot , but we decided to enjoy what while likely be our first of many trips to the orchard this fall . Thomas slept through most of our outing , but I have the most precious pictures of his first trip to the apple groves . Gracie of course loved it , but the crankies spilled out as the heat really set in . She was most thrilled though because HER FATHER gave her a pocket knife to keep in her overall pocket for the orchard . This happened while I was getting Thomas dressed , and was not quite as thrilled as she was . Her daddy helped her use it though , and they sliced off a sampling of two different kinds of apples to taste . We came back with a peck full of mostly sour apples for a yummy pie , and some eatin ' apples to share and for Gracie 's lunches . And , we can 't forget the cow train . It is back this year and Gracie got a ride first thing . I can only imagine next fall when both of my kids will be scrambling for a seat on the train . I did get some amazing pictures , and you can see them here . Well , I made it through it , and I even did it without crying . I had a million things to do today , I ended up with a migraine , her school was a 1 , 000 degrees , and I have a million papers to look over and sign before she gets to school next week - - so , who had time to cry ! Actually , now that the day has settled down I am finding myself much more calm about the whole thing . I am still going to miss her like crazy - - but somehow I have found some peace . Maybe it was seeing her classroom , or meeting her teacher , or watching her beam on the bus ; but what ever it was - - it I am so thankful ( as is Garren , I know he was getting tired of my crying night after night ! ) . The evening went pretty well . The parents and kids gathered in the gym , which was so packed there weren 't enough chairs and we had to stand . The Principal said a little welcome and then they instructed the kids to come forward when their teachers we called . The teachers would take the kids and put them on the bus and they would take a little ride as a class . At this point , Gracie is clutched to me and hiding behind my legs . I reassure her that I will walk her up the ( very long and packed ) isle . This helps a little , but you can tell she is panicking . Now , I was one of the only parents to walk my kid to the front . Some kids walked nicely , others ran or bounced , and then there were the parents who literally pushed their terrified kids in to the isle and walked away . These kids ended up crying the whole time . I decided I would rather be the " over protective " parent than have my daughter 's first memory of school be one of terror . I helped her into her line and I moved back . She would turn around with that scared look on her face , but I would just smile . I got in front of the line and waited in the hallway so she would see me when she passed . And then I went outside behind her group , being sure to stay many feet away . She would turn around every once in a while and I would smile and wave . They loaded the kids on the bus and she had a window seat . I walked around to the other siPosted by As most people who know me can attest - - I get cranky when it gets hot . In fact , summer is my least favorite season . In fact , I loathe it ( I w . . . 100 days already ! Actually , it seems more like a million when your first born is gone all day . But , the certificate is true : she really is . . . I 'm old . . . and getting older . Well , okay , we all are . Halloween starts the busy season for us Shipleys as the fun holiday leads to mo . . . |
It is so funny how the seasons work in this part of the world ! Fall seems to have started just as abruptly as summer ended . This afternoon Thomas and I about got blown away from the very cool winds while we waited for Gracie to get off of the bus . Usually Strasburg is so pretty in the fall . Then again it is my favorite season and to me just about any place is pretty . But , it has been so dry for weeks that the leaves have turned brown and crumpled instead of turning those pretty reds , oranges & yellows that I love to see . Which made Gracie 's homework rather difficult this afternoon . Inside Gracie 's backpack was a request for examples of fall . This was her first homework assignment and since we live in a townhouse with very few trees , we had to drive to the park . I figured we would have better luck there , but as I said it has been so dry . We found a few leaves that had changed color and Gracie found some acorns . We also put some berries and a pine cone in the Ziplock bag for her to return to school tomorrow . It didn 't take too long to gather all of the items , but it took a while to find signs of fall in this very crispy town . Gracie of course wanted to stay and play , but it was chilly outside and Thomas still has a runny nose , and our favorite guest was coming over for dinner . So , we gathered the fall things and headed back . And , while there aren 't a lot of color changes to see , mommy felt fall in the air today and opened all the windows in the house and even made homemade vegetable soup . I LOVE this season ! The crime scene was gruesome . At least from the carpet 's perspective . A green amoeba - looking car shape was drawn on the carpet , immediately beside where Gracie was drawing with her magic markers on Sunday morning . I was livid . Not only was this out of character for my Gracie , it was a breach of trust . Gracie gets to have markers in the living room , but on the explicit condition that she not draw on anything but paper . And we 've never had a problem until now . " Did you draw on the carpet ? ! " I half - yelled , hearing my father 's voice come out of my mouth . " No , " Gracie replied , looking me right in the eye . " You didn 't draw on the carpet with a magic marker ? " Barbara continued . " No , " said Gracie . Since Thomas was nowhere to be seen ( and he 's yet to show any artistic inclination ) this was an open and shut case . Still , I was absolutely bound and determined not to falsely accuse my child of doing something wrong . So , we did a little forensic investigation of the crime scene . My first exculpatory theory was that she could have drawn something on a piece of paper on top of the carpet , and the green marker just bled through . " Gracie , I need to see everything you 've drawn today , " I said . She responded by handing over a pile of drawings . Lots of trees , lots of princesses . But not one of them had a green amoeba / car shape anywhere on the paper . Not good . " So how did this happen ? " I asked . " I dropped it , and it made that mark , " she said , looking dead at me again . I doubted that a dropped magic marker could draw an amoeba shape , but just to be sure , we put caps on several markers and ran some tests . " Drop this marker just like you dropped the green one , " I ordered . She dropped it . It bounced , plainly NOT tracing out an amoeba shape on the carpet . " Hmm , that didn 't make a round shape . Try this one . " She dropped it again , this time imparting a bit of spin to the marker on the way down , getting it to move in somewhat of a small circle when it hit . Still no amoeba shape , though . " Still not right . Try this one . " Seven markers ( and some pretty niftyPosted by For the first time in 6 years , Garren and I celebrated our anniversary with a dinner out . Yep , now that I type it out - - it is clearly sad . Now , I have a husband who doesn 't " forget " the date of our anniversary , we just never do anything to celebrate . Having kids seems to suck the energy , life , and money out of a couple and we just never found the opportunity to get out of the house with out kids and remember why we got married . Now , technically our anniversary isn 't until Tuesday , but we got an early 9th anniversary gift from Aunt Ruth and Uncle George . They insisted on keeping BOTH of my kiddos for the evening so we could enjoy each others company . Seeing how we rarely get to go out to eat , and when we do my food is usually cold because I have to cut up someonelse 's portions , take someone to the potty 5 times , wipes faces , feed bottles . . . etc ; I can 't imagine why I hesitated on taking them up on this offer . Well , I do know why . I am one of those people ( I might be the only one ) , who think that my children are my problem ( and joy ) . No one else should have to take care of them , listen to them , be annoyed by them , dress them , feed them . . etc . It is solely my burden to bear . After all , I choose to have them . In our younger days ( before kids ) , Garren and I would get disgusted at the couples who would take their small ones to restaurants and act oblivious to them throwing food , throwing temper tantrums , crawling under tables . . . you get the idea . And now that I have children , I still don 't think anyone else should have to hear them . We would leave if either ever made a scene , and I thoroughly clean the table , get down on the floor and pick up any dropped food or napkins , stack all plates , and wipe the table off before we leave a restaurant ( which embarrasses the snot out of my husband ! ) . No one should have to clean up after them either . So , perhaps now the fact that Gracie was 4 before she got her first babysitter ( and that was only so Garren could go with me to see our new baby on the ultrasound ) might make a little more sense . Posted by My children are acting a little more normal these days , which while is a relief , is also very annoying . In the beginning Thomas and Gracie adored each other . She took to him far better than most siblings take new a new baby that will surely invade their space and attention . And , for months the adoration continued . People would ask how she was doing and I was thrilled to tell them that she adored her brother , and he clearly adored her . I was a proud mother , but in the back of my mind I kept thinking - - " this is too good to be true . " At 7 months , I think the " honeymoon period is over . " No longer does Thomas tolerate anything his sister does to him . And , no longer does Gracie find all of his actions oh so cute . While Gracie still loves her little brother , Thomas finds her hugs and her face in his face not so wonderful anymore . She wants to constantly squish him , and he will let out a " mommy she is touching me ! " fuss in a matter of seconds . Of course she looks very innocent and replies " I was just trying to hug him . " And then when he cries she decides to soothe him with a " song . " A - top - of - the - lungs - shouting - in - his - face with words she made up " song . " Which , of course makes him cry louder and then a shouting match ensues . As for Thomas , he is mobile now ( although still not technically crawling he can get where he wants ) and he finds all the things she leaves on the floor . You would think that you tore off the head of her favorite doll when she sees him touching her things . Her backpack is the worst culprit . Then of course are her papers or drawings that she " forgets " to put up . He looks at you so very innocent , but there is this tiny little speck of " ha ! I told you to stop squishing me ! ! " It doesn 't take long before they " make up , " and they are best friends again , but the proverbial line in the sand is likely not too far off . All of this behavior is normal , in fact the way those two were before was more in the " uncommon " behavior category . I figure they will have a mix of what Garren and I had . My brother was my baby and he anPosted by You have heard the term " his bark is worse than his bite . " Well , that can be said for Thomas as well . I often let it slip just how " active " my little man is . And , he is in fact a handful , but unless you have met him in person , you will never know just what a cuddle bear he is . He is far more cuddly than his sister ever was ( at any age ) , and I am LOVING all of the snuggle times that I get with him . Besides being a cuddler , Thomas is also one of the happiest babies on the planet . You would think he had been born at Disney World ! His smile seems to be contagious . With Gracie , I hardly ever let her go , but he makes people so happy , that I can 't help but share him . On Sunday mornings he goes from arms to arms and it is so amazing to watch these people light up around him . People often comment on just how happy he seems and want to know if he is like that all the time . The short answer : yes ! He has his moments , and extremes . While he is super happy most of the time , you do NOT want to see him upset . It is amazing how much noise and temper can come out of such a small body . But like I said , his bark is worse than his bite . And , I ( and many others ) are storing away those amazing hugs and cuddles that he likes to give out . You 've gotta love my ideas ! Actually , this one came from Olivia . Olivia is a cantankerous pig from the best selling stories by Ian Falconer that has been made in to a Nick Jr . ( & Noggin ) show . Well , last week Olivia wants to be a painter and paint a mural after visting a museum with her parents . She doesn 't have a piece of paper big enough , but she eventually completes her masterpiece . This gave me a great idea , and Gracie was so excited when I showed her our surprise activity after school . She saw the lines of paper I had taped to the wall and shouted " yea it 's a miracle ! " To which I softly replied " No honey , it 's a mural . " It took her no time at all to get started on her paper . She drew and colored an extra large princess , and went on to create several other " princess " themed drawings . She even let mommy help . I got to make the castle . This has been a fun project that has taken up most of the afternoon and I think will take up the rest of the week . She is having so much fun , and I am thrilled that we are getting back some of that mommy & Gracie time I miss so much now that she is at school . . . . well , future fans anyway . Daddy loved the outfits and I even snapped a picture of all three of them dressed in their UT Orange . While daddy is the Tennessee football fan , for all of those taking notes - - mommy is the one who attended and graduated from there ; ) Click to enlarge . Thomas pulls the face out constantly lately ! It is a cross between Yoda & little old man . It is a hilarious face , once you get used to it . Oh , and he snorts too - - just like his Uncle Brian used to ! It has been a long second week of school here in Shipley house . Gracie has done well and Thomas and I are adjusting better . I am finding that getting up at the crack of dawn leads to a lot more things getting done around the house , and Thomas is find more peace with his sister gone - - well , actually I think he is loving the constant 1 on 1 attention and will fuss if I turn my head away from his direction ! This week Gracie did music , computer & library in between gym days . She told me they did songs for music , and not much for computer . I told her that they would have to learn about the computers first . In her classroom they worked on letters A - E , to which she did very well . They also made the cutest crafts with Nursery Rhyme themes . They also studied the life of the butterfly and got to watch " The Very Hungry Caterpillar . " It rained on Thursday , but not much . I asked her what they did for recess , but she couldn 't remember - - just that they didn 't get to go outside . She picked out snacks for her classroom when we went grocery shopping on Wednesday , so I dropped them off Thursday morning at her school . I just went to the front desk and didn 't go to her classroom . But , I got a lovely thank you note from her teacher saying the kids loved the Fruit Roll Ups and she appreciated them since they aren 't messy . The bus seems to be still going well for Gracie , and the little friend she made at the bus stop has the same recess time her class does , so they get to play together every day . And she is making more new friends . Last week her " new best school friend " was a little girl named Morgan . This week she was moved to a different table ( I have already panicked , emailed the teacher , and received nothing but praises about Gracie and was told she was moved to positively influence other kids ) , and now she has a new friend . 3 friends in the first 2 weeks of school was more than I could hope for . She is clearly thriving and doing well and I couldn 't be more proud . This new schedule has really kicked all of our tooshy 's and Gracie ended up wPosted by Daddy is feeling my pain tonight . Gracie leaving for Kindergarten didn 't break his heart , telling him she no longer needed help in the shower did . Daddy has almost always taken care of bathing Gracie . In the beginning it hurt my back to lean over the tub and help her get clean , and then when she needed to do showers ( and you may remember the terror over washing her hair ! ! ! ) I couldn 't reach the shower head without having to stand on the side of the tub . This being dangerous , Daddy kept on " bath " duty . In the past few months we have made great strides at getting Gracie over her fear of " shower thingy " ( the shower head ) and she has really been proud of being able to get her hair wet . And now , she can shampoo and rinse by herself . So , when daddy went to help her tonight . . . she didn 't need him . She turned the water on herself , found the right temperature , washed , rinsed , got out , and got ready all by herself . To make us feel better she came downstairs and said " I still love you even when though I don 't need you anymore . " She had a huge smile on her face , and I think sensing that was the biggest knife in our collective chests , she corrected herself . " Well , I will still need you for grown up things , " We will take what we can get . And , I hope this is it for awhile , I don 't know if I can handle any more separation . And , finally , I don 't think Daddy can either . Well Grandma and Grandpa got what they wanted for Grandparents day . . . they got to see their babies ! Well , 2 of them anyway . Mom and Dad surprised Gracie by showing up for church this morning to hear her sing . Yep , they drove 3 hours just to hear her sing a total of 3 minutes , but I am sure they would tell you it was the best 3 minutes ever . After church they even took all of us to lunch at Denny 's and let Gracie get cake after her pancake breakfast . And , no they didn 't even ask us about - - they just let her order it ! Gracie was very heartbroken to see them go this afternoon , but we were glad they could spend the day . Hopefully Gracie 's crockodile tears didn 't take away from their very nice visit . And to all of the other grandparents out there who have their grandbabies near by or far away . . . Happy Grandparents Day ! My little angel did a wonderful job this morning ! It took me forever to download these videos , but I hope you enjoy listening to her sing as much as I did . I was one proud mama ! I should have mentioned that Gracie is the little one on the front row . I didn 't realize how small the video boxes were . She is the third from the left . The choir director is Ms . Karen , and Aunt Ruth plays the piano ! : ) Thomas didn 't have to wait until he was 5 years old to cheer for our Rams , he is already a purple fan at 7 months old . Being the hermit crabs that we are , we waited until we had lived here for more than 5 years to go and watch the local high school football team . Well , we had so much fun with Gracie last year , that we decided to go again this year . And , hopefully we will see several more before the end of the season . Thomas made it all the way through the halftime show before the tired crankies set in . I was so glad that he finally napped well today ( for the first time this week ! ) , so he could stay up and see all the colors and people . We took separate cars so that Gracie could stay later and enjoy more of the game . Gracie , of course , had a great time cheering for the team and sported last years pom poms . While watching the cheerleaders , and band , and the game was fun - - clearly getting to sit with their favorite person in the world made the game much more fun . Nope , not mommy . . . " Aunt Ruth . " We have decided to call her that now that she is one of the family . Our minister also sat with us tonight and thanks to him each of my children have a purple mini Strasburg football . For a man who never played childhood sports - - he can catch a ball in the stands : ) He also got Gracie a purple cushion seat , so she was spoiled all night long ! We had a great family night , and I can 't tell you how wonderful it was to share the experience with friends . I was thinking as I took a very sleepy Thomas home , that I don 't feel so alone any more , and it is a great feeling . We have people who care about us and are glad to be in our lives - - and we care about them . Who could ask for anything more ? ! On her first day of school I tried to get her to sit with the other little boy in her class that we found at the bus stop - - but they got seperated in all the hustle and bustle . But , on her ride home that day she told me she sat next to a little girl . I didn 't think much of it , except how glad I was to have her home and that she was in one piece and fine . But , apparently she and this little girl ( whom I found out this morning is also a Kindergartner ) are now best bus buddies . Yesterday ( day # 2 ) when we got to the top of the hill she walked over and grabbed this little girl 's hand and they climbed the bus steps together . It was too cute , but it took me by surprise and I didn 't have my camera ready . Well , apparently they found each other after school and rode home together as well . This morning ( day # 3 ) we had to make a mad dash for the bus . Yep , I haven 't run for the bus in over 15 years , but Gracie and I ran up the hill since the bus was nearly 8 minutes early ! ( Thank goodness there are 30 + kids at this ( the only ) stop , we bought time as they took several minutes to filter on ! ) After I reached the top and stopped panicking , Gracie saw her friend and they ran and gave each other hugs . Once I caught my breath I got the camera out and grabbed a picture of the two friends . They were the last ones on the bus , but found a seat up front and seemed to be very happy as they made their way to school . Tomorrow , we leave at 7 : 35 , who knows how early he will be and I am too old to make a mad dash for the bus with a 5 year old in tow ! : ) Gracie 's second day seemed to have been a success as well . I meant to record her reactions yesterday , but with all that was going on I just got pictures . But , here 's a little clip of her getting off the bus and telling about her day . And my many thanks again to so many people who showed their support through the past 48 hours ! ! ! email to family & friends 9 / 8 / 09She 's officially a Kindergartner , and officially away from home . Well , at least for 8 hours a day , which is far more than she has ever been away from me . Her first day seemed to be a success as she didn 't get lost or cry - - which is more than I can say for mommy . Although , I did hold off on the tears until I got back to our front door . Putting Gracie on that bus was both proud and heartbreaking . But she was a true champion and waved to me and looked so happy she could burst . She had a great day and loved the lunch I packed her ( complete with PB & J and a special note from mommy ) . She came home with two certificates from school and a HUGE grin on her face . And , we do it all again tomorrow . We hope that if your child started school today they had a fantastic day ! And mommy thanks the many , many , many people who thought about us and prayed for me this morning as I struggled with what might be the hardest thing I have had to do ( thus far ) in my parental life . We made it through ( although mommy not so gracefully ) and I am pretty sure I earned the biggest parenting sticker ever , the one that signifies " letting go . " You can see pictures and read more about Gracie 's day on our blog . Lots of Love to you all , Barbara , Garren , Gracie & Thomas She was 40 minutes late , but she is home safe and sound ! I was prepared for the bus to be late , as I noticed other mom 's who blogged about back to school , mentioned they waited sometimes and hour for the bus on that first day . I am proud to say I didn 't panic as the dad next to me told me it was 4 : 00 . They were supposed to be dropped off at 3 : 29 . Nope , I waited until I saw that the bus that pulled up was # 1 and not # 14 - - and then I panicked ! ! Of course Gracie got off the bus and you could see she was proud . She gave me the biggest hug and kiss and I told her how much I missed her . I asked her about the bus number and she said " just for today ! " That was about all the conversation I got in . My motor mouth hasn 't stopped yet , although you can clearly see how tired she is from her big day . Today was library day and she proudly showed me the Clifford book she checked out . She ate most of her lunch , and she had a sticker on her dress for being good . In her backpack was a first day of school certificate , and a good napper certificate . Mommy made a her a little card and baked her some bus cookies . I had planned on chocolate chip , but when we saw those Pilsbury Ready To Make cookies with buses on them - - we had to get them ! So she had her milk and cookies for snack . And , I am not the only one glad to have her home . Thomas has been the biggest fuss - pot today . I know our schedule is off , but I really think he missed her . You have to love the look on his face when his sister got off the bus . So , all in all she had a great day , and now it is off to finish our day and start all over again tomorrow . Thank you so much for all of the friends and family who have sent me supportive emails and comments over the past few days , and for all of the prayers I know were said for Gracie and I . You will never know how much I appreciate them ! Oh , and I have added more pictures to her Kindergarten photo album from today . Click here . Gracie is off to school , and while I have no idea at this very moment where my oldest child is - - I am trying hard not to think about it . I made it until she climbed the stairs of the bus , and then I had to bite my lip ( HARD ) not to cry in front of the other kids and parents . Gracie got up easily this morning at 7am , but commented " I didn 't know my room was so dark at 7 in the morning . " I had to laugh , but reassured her she would get used to it . I also noted to myself that it wouldn 't always be this easy to get her up and going . My excited girl ate her breakfast and brushed her teeth and even got dressed in record time . In fact we had about 10 minutes to burn before it was time to leave the house , so she played with Thomas . I took millions of pictures and we left the house . We watched as many other parents took millions of pictures of their kids ( including Dylan down the street - - who doesn 't ride the bus ) . We walked up the hill and saw the massive amounts of kids waiting along the road where the bus stops . I didn 't count them , my nerves couldn 't have taken it . When we arrived at the top of the hill I noticed a little boy with a Kindergarten tag like Gracie 's . I asked his mom if he was a Kindergartner too . He was , and he is in Gracie 's class ! ! I felt so much relief . I asked him if Gracie could sit next to him on the bus . He didn 't answer , but it seemed okay . Then the bus arrived . The 30 or more kids made a bee line for the doors , but had to step back when the driver announced " Sandy Hook . " He was making sure the little kids got on first . Gracie was the last in line , but she stepped up proudly and waved to me . Jacob ( the other Kindergartner ) got on several kids before her , and I don 't think they ended up together . But , I am hopeful that maybe they will on the ride home . That 's when I about lost it . She turned the corner to walk down the isle and I couldn 't see her anymore . I tried to find her in the window but couldn 't . So I walked around the other side and finally got a glimpse of a shadow of her hair bow . So , I know she waPosted by School dress ironed . . . ( Adorable checkered old fashioned dress with school house applique ! ! ) checkHair bow to match dress made . . . ( blue ribbon with school bus ) checkNew shoes bought and laid out . . . ( she picked out pink ( of course ! ) Nike 's ) checkBackpack packed and ready . . . ( folder for teacher with all the signed paperwork ) checkHugs & Kisses bag made and put in backpack . . . . . ( I made her one for preschool and told her I filled it with hugs and kisses and whenever she missed me she could pull one out . So , I had to make one to send to Kindergarten with her - - she might need them there too ! ) checkLunch made . . . ( except the sandwich , I will wait until morning ) check Note from mommy in lunchbox . . . . checkKindergartner showered and blow dried . . . ( thanks to Daddy ! ) checkStories about first day of Kindergarten read . . . ( We Like Kindergarten ( my favorite as a child ! ! ) , Tucker 's Best School Day , Giraffe Goes To School , & Arthur 's Back To School Surprise ) checkKindergartner in bed . . . ( after snapping a picture of her last night before school ) checkMommy calm cool and collected . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Just as I am having to watch my first born leave the nest . . . now I am having to watch my not - quite - 7 - month old get along fine without me as well . Well , it 's not that dramatic , and he isn 't technically crawling - - but he can get to anywhere , and any THING he wants . He doesn 't use his hands , but scoots along with his legs and belly . It 's kind of like a seal getting around out of water . But , don 't turn your back because he is quicker than you think . I fear that since he can get around with out much trouble this will delay him using his hands and actually crawling , but I am sure he will figure it out eventually . I looked back and Gracie crawled when she was 7 months and 5 days . He is a few days shy of 7 months , so they seem to be about the same in this milestone . And , if getting nearly crawling weren 't enough - - he has decided he wants his own cup . I had been having trouble getting him to take his bottle ever since we started him on solid foods . So , today in a fit of " well fine - - if you don 't want your bottle you can have a cup . " Well , that made him happy . So , I guess it is off to the store to get those sippy cups with the two side handles . What is it with my kids and them growing up so fast ! ! ! This kiddo better slow down , I can 't handle another Kindergartner yet . It was way too hot , but we decided to enjoy what while likely be our first of many trips to the orchard this fall . Thomas slept through most of our outing , but I have the most precious pictures of his first trip to the apple groves . Gracie of course loved it , but the crankies spilled out as the heat really set in . She was most thrilled though because HER FATHER gave her a pocket knife to keep in her overall pocket for the orchard . This happened while I was getting Thomas dressed , and was not quite as thrilled as she was . Her daddy helped her use it though , and they sliced off a sampling of two different kinds of apples to taste . We came back with a peck full of mostly sour apples for a yummy pie , and some eatin ' apples to share and for Gracie 's lunches . And , we can 't forget the cow train . It is back this year and Gracie got a ride first thing . I can only imagine next fall when both of my kids will be scrambling for a seat on the train . I did get some amazing pictures , and you can see them here . Well , I made it through it , and I even did it without crying . I had a million things to do today , I ended up with a migraine , her school was a 1 , 000 degrees , and I have a million papers to look over and sign before she gets to school next week - - so , who had time to cry ! Actually , now that the day has settled down I am finding myself much more calm about the whole thing . I am still going to miss her like crazy - - but somehow I have found some peace . Maybe it was seeing her classroom , or meeting her teacher , or watching her beam on the bus ; but what ever it was - - it I am so thankful ( as is Garren , I know he was getting tired of my crying night after night ! ) . The evening went pretty well . The parents and kids gathered in the gym , which was so packed there weren 't enough chairs and we had to stand . The Principal said a little welcome and then they instructed the kids to come forward when their teachers we called . The teachers would take the kids and put them on the bus and they would take a little ride as a class . At this point , Gracie is clutched to me and hiding behind my legs . I reassure her that I will walk her up the ( very long and packed ) isle . This helps a little , but you can tell she is panicking . Now , I was one of the only parents to walk my kid to the front . Some kids walked nicely , others ran or bounced , and then there were the parents who literally pushed their terrified kids in to the isle and walked away . These kids ended up crying the whole time . I decided I would rather be the " over protective " parent than have my daughter 's first memory of school be one of terror . I helped her into her line and I moved back . She would turn around with that scared look on her face , but I would just smile . I got in front of the line and waited in the hallway so she would see me when she passed . And then I went outside behind her group , being sure to stay many feet away . She would turn around every once in a while and I would smile and wave . They loaded the kids on the bus and she had a window seat . I walked around to the other siPosted by As most people who know me can attest - - I get cranky when it gets hot . In fact , summer is my least favorite season . In fact , I loathe it ( I w . . . 100 days already ! Actually , it seems more like a million when your first born is gone all day . But , the certificate is true : she really is . . . I 'm old . . . and getting older . Well , okay , we all are . Halloween starts the busy season for us Shipleys as the fun holiday leads to mo . . . |
I was at a resort . There was a building we all passed through to get to the beach . Barack Obama was there greeting the guests of the resort as we came in . He walked with me a few steps and made sure I had towels and a drink before going out on the beach . I relaxed for a while , then decided to shower there . I returned to the building where a friendly and helpful Barack showed me to an empty shower . I showered . Feeling relaxed and refreshed , I exited the stall and attempted to hang my used towel on a hook outside the door . Barack became serious all of a sudden and told me not to hang up the towel . He said that I had to fold the towel longways in thirds , then roll it jellyroll style . He showed me a basket where I had to place the jellyrolled towel , flat side down . I was no longer relaxed when I looked at the basket with one layer of towels , folded and rolled as he had instructed . A week ago I dreamt of having a tete - a - tete with Obama . It was very nice . We kissed and embraced each other and I loved his smooth dark skin , his special features . Barack and a girl friend of mine and I are sitting , talking about politics . Barack says something and I smell alcohol on his breath and I think it 's weird that he has alcohol breath . Then I remember we just had a party . He turns away and on the back of his head there are two nails , one higher than the other . I get really upset and say , I know they got him bugged . He gets up to go brush his teeth from the alcohol breath and I proceed to talk to my girl friend about a secret government that is conspiring and following him . He comes rushing into the room and says he wants to know all about it , and I am shocked he could hear me from the bathroom . Barack Obama and I were in my bed , having sex ; he was on top . Everything was going really well until we saw Michelle in the next room . Even though she couldn 't see us , Barack started to get worried and lose his erection . I told him that I was on the birth control pill so there was nothing to worry about ; I wouldn 't get pregnant and Michelle wouldn 't find out . That made him feel better and he got hard again . I had a dream it was snowing a lot . I went across the street to do laundry , then next door to get a drink where I met my boyfriend . Obama was in there giving a speech . It wasn 't so bad . It was just like he was talking to everyone privately at a table with strong soft words . It didn 't feel like he was hogging the mic . Obama asked us to take him back to where we were living . We took him to two places that became one : the apartment where we lived , that was dark and cold and poor , and the house down the street some kids we knew lived in whose parents had died . It was beautiful and rich . Sheila and Lauren and someone else were sharing a bed in a cold dark room where the windows were broken . Obama was sitting on the edge of the bed reading a rainbow card I had made myself to not feel so sad . He read it out loud , quietly - he said it was dumb and magical . I was in the hallway , I nodded . I woke up in the rich house in a huge soft bed with clean sheets and cream carpeting . The windows were broken and all the snow was coming in . [ The Hillary dream . . . ] There was a shootout in my home . It was like the wild west , with the women upstairs hiding and the men downstairs shooting . I don 't know who was fighting whom , or why . Barack Obama was there . He sat next to me on the couch but sat on my glasses so I could not see . I am standing in the front row of a large , packed arena . The crowded is going crazy in anticipation for Barack to come out , the atmosphere more rock concert than political rally . Barack finally emerges , only he has long , bright green dreadlocks and he 's bouncing around on stage in jeans and a white t - shirt , getting the crowd fired up . He passes up the podium and goes straight to the crowd , ripping his t - shirt off along the way , and gives everyone in the crowd a high - five . The crowd is loving it , but I find myself filled with anxiety , thinking , Wow , I 'm glad he has finally found his confidence , but I think this is taking it a bit too far . In a bright , white room Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden were fighting . Obama had Bin Laden pinned , when Bin Laden reached up and tried to break Obama 's jaw . Obama seized the opportunity to bite two of Bin Laden 's fingers off , the middle and ring finger . Then Obama was in a suit giving a speech and he was in the White House as president . ( I assume that the feat was so incredible there was no need for an election , or maybe he was already president . ) Each time he would say the part of the speech that garnered applause , he would show the two fingers , which he held up with a small tissue . Some people and I followed Obama into Lake Michigan . My terror of deep water came to me but then I suddenly knew that I would be able swim in this soft water and stay on the surface and not drown or be afraid . We swam and swam and then came around a curving shore towards a downtown Chicago harbor where there was a cheering crowd waiting to see him . But his two baby sons had been playing in the water and were missing . I swam out farther into the lake and found them clinging to some branches . They were cold and barely alive - - just very tiny babies . Just then Obama swam up and he saw that I had found them . He took one and I took the other and we swam them back to shore to where his wife was waiting . One of the babies smiled at me and said my name . I 'm in Washington , walking past some shallow , marble steps . Barack is sitting there , resting his elbows on his knees and reading from a small book . The book looks just like my journal . I started to panic . Is Barack Obama reading my diary ? Then I realize that I am holding my diary , so he must have one of his own . I think how cool it is that we have the same book in which to record our experiences , even though our lives are so different . Hey , we have the same book ! I call out , and hold up my diary . Barack looks over and smiles warmly but distantly , as though he is pleased by our little connection but is still deep in thought . I turn and walk on , enjoying the spring weather and glad that I was brave enough to speak to him . I am in a large room with some high - school friends , taking a test Barack has designed . Competition is steep and I am really emotionally invested in doing well . After the test is over , we all sit on the tables and wait for the scores . Mine comes out in the " weak " category . Barack starts walking up and down the aisles , acknowledging the people who have scored in the top category . Everyone else becomes an " untouchable " to him . It is like we didn 't exist and are of no importance at all . I feel absolutely horrible . I am at a nice , big cabin in the mountains of Colorado with some close friends and family , when an unplanned guest shows up . It is Barack Obama . He is so weak he can barely walk . Some men are helping him into the house . I get close and see that he is crying . I say , It 's ok , it 's just tears of milk . White tears are streaming down the left side of his face . The men begin helping him down a wooden deck toward the master bedroom , when Barack slumps down and something comes out from him : it is a big white snowball , followed by a large snow cube carved in an ornate way . Then the men help him up and he goes into the bedroom to lie down . My dad and I happen upon a church where Barack is speaking . Entering , I feel a strong sense of being different from the mostly black congregation . Barack stands at the pulpit , but he is old and pale with a receding , red afro . I am surprised that he is so much less attractive than in my mind . I know the religious right in the congregation are plotting his downfall . Then something odd falls from his person . It is a round object that resembles a child 's rubbery , flashing Spike Ball . I know that in the ball lies the success of Barack 's campaign . Only one other person sees it fall , and in her eyes I can tell that she also knows of its power . The average - looking woman and I tussle for the ball and when I come up victorious , I notice a change in the congregation . About half of the African - Americans are now white . I hand the ball to Michelle , who doesn 't thank me . I exit the church and shrug my shoulders at the woman I scuffled with and say , Sorry . I am with my stepfather 's family and they are making me crazy ! I get so angry and frustrated that I fall on the floor and start throwing a temper tantrum . My husband arrives and sees me . Without saying anything , he turns on some reggaeton music , which he knows I can 't resist . I get up and start dancing . We dance and dance and I think , I 'm so lucky to be married to somebody who knows exactly what I need ! Then I realize , That 's not my husband - - that 's Barack Obama ! I met Barack in the West Village while he was campaigning . We made out all over the city and he was a very good kisser . His campaign staff , who were totally unphased by this , prevented Michelle and the media from finding out . Turns out Obama was quite the ladies ' man . Everywhere we went , women flirted with him openly and thanked him for past good times . I was so thrilled to be with him , I didn 't even feel jealous , just lucky to have had him for a day and possibly as president in the near future . I was shopping for counterfeit handbags on a busy street in Chinatown with some of my friends . A number of the vendors had radios tuned to the same station , which was playing a modern jazz song . When the song ended , the DJ said , Now it 's time for Barack Obama , live from Hawaii ! . Barack 's voice came on , and said , My fellow citizens , this has been a long , hard campaign , and I am very tired . It 's a rocky path I must travel and I just don 't know if I can make it . Then he sang Ole Man River and the entire street fell silent . For the duration of the song , everyone just stood and listened . I am on a cruise with Barack somewhere in the Pacific . My job is to give him advice on campaign strategies . Barack is wearing a brightly - colored hibiscus - printed sarong . He looks so thin and concerned and vulnerable . As my maternal feelings well up , he begins to look more like my boy . I counsel him to take care of himself and to just continue to be himself . I tells him he is wonderful and that I am so proud of him . I would have liked to have been able to feed him and comfort him , but I held myself back from embracing him in my arms . I was standing on the sidelines of a baseball game , when I began to speak to one of the outfielders about why I support Obama . Eventually , a large crowd gathered about , listening and cheering as I elaborated on how Bush 's war in Iraq and the massive deficit were impeding American progress . I was neither stammering nor hesitating as I spoke . Talking about Obama seemed to eliminate any sense of self - doubt or uncertainty about my value as an individual . Barack and I had plans to drive to the outlet mall that afternoon . As we left my house and walked toward my husband 's Ford Explorer , we laughed like two old friends . He gave me a playful nudge and said , I just love you ! This made me ridiculously happy . When we reached the car , he had trouble fitting into the passenger seat because his legs were so long . The back seat was down and needed lifting . I was afraid he would make me lift it by myself , but he helped me . Then we drove to the mall . I 'm standing on a street corner watching Barack enthusiastically help a baby onto a pogo - stick / bicycle hybrid made of flimsy white plastic . The baby and pogocycle topple over onto the pavement . The thuddy sound was not unlike an old mushy piece of fruit landing on the floor . I remember being at once fascinated by the fact no brains spilled anywhere , and horrified at the sight and sound . I am at a dinner table with twenty - five people I 've known in my life , as well as some I 've never met . I start choking but everyone is talking and laughing and no one notices me struggling . I try to stand to get their attention when I feel someone grab me and begin the Heimlich , launching the chunk of food into the middle of the table . I turned to see who helped me , and it 's Barack Obama ! He takes my hands and gives me a big smile and says Thank you ! - - like he did at the rally in Seattle in real life . I say , You 're welcome ! My gosh , I didn 't even know you were going to be here tonight . Then he leaves and I wonder why he thanked me . I am in an apartment building , the fourth I 've moved into this year . Barack is unconscious in its medical care ward , and the only doctor there is absorbed with another patient . I ask if I can help , but he says no . I then follow the doctor to an elevator as he carries Barack out - - to get him better care elsewhere , I assume . On the way down , the elevator starts shaking wildly . I think it might be an earthquake , given the ferocity . I try to relax my body and ride it out . Then the building crashes to the ground . I am unharmed . The doctor carrying Barack seems fine , and Barack is not harmed further . The doctor hurries off with him and I learn that the building was still under construction from the 6th floor up , and was poorly made , which is why it was collapsing . Barack was giving a speech at The Phoenix Zoo , standing inside an exhibit . He had an orangutan on his shoulders and was talking about the importance of conservation . I found myself very impressed with his ideas but a little put off by the fact that he was so rushed that he didn 't have time to talk with us after his speech , and was just hustled on to his next engagement by a crowd of handlers . Barack was the new youth minister at my University . As a gesture of welcome , a group of us invited him out for the night for beers . The evening was a success , and we returned with him to his faculty apartment for some late - night , meaning - of - life conversation . We were getting comfortable when Barack excused himself to go to the restroom and came out lighting his Speed Stick Gel deodorant on fire and huffing the fumes . His adeptness with the deodorant / lighter technique and lack of self - consciousness implied this was simply his standard nightcap . I am in the back seat of a car that Barack is driving . Michelle is in the passenger seat . We don 't know each other well - - maybe they picked me up hitchhiking . I ask him about his daughters and I talk about the tiny crap - hole apartment I used to live in . It 's the next day , and I 'm talking to my coworker about Barack , feeling like I have a crush on him or something . I 'm an editor at a magazine , and my boss overhears . He says he wants to use my connection with Barack to ask him to write a story on kids ' room storage solutions . I feel that it 's not best way to utilize him . I was going to a retreat center in the mountains to do a mini - workshop with a shaman . I arrived late and walked out of the lodge to find the group . I walked down the path in the snow , and caught the last of the " ritual " with the ( Inuit ? ) shaman sitting by the fire , doing some sort of blessing . Then it was over . Heading back , I found myself walking with Barack . I somehow knew him on a personal level , and we chatted about how the campaign was going , how he was holding up , etc . It felt good to see him , like seeing an old friend . We went into the lodge together , finishing our conversation . Michelle saw us walk in and gave me a dirty look . I remember feeling annoyed because Barack and I were just friends and she knew that . I was shopping at a drugstore and came across a display of Valentine 's Day gift ideas . It included a CD entitled Barack Obama Sings 20 Classic Love Songs . I considered buying it for my sister . I was on Obama 's campaign bus and was sitting right next to him on some sort of a bench . He was wearing a crisp , light blue shirt , which I think contributed to me wanting to snuggle up closer to him . He then hugged me and we held each other for a while like that . The embrace had the warmth of fatherly affection , but I also remember waking up semi - aroused and thinking about his body . Posted by Barack was teaching a middle school class . I was at a desk in the back of the room . Everyone had slightly over - sized bobble heads , including Barack . He was a passionate teacher and had all of us engaged in a lesson . Then he pulled out an electric guitar and started playing and walking around the classroom , singing . When he came near my desk I jokingly yelled , Do your thang Huckabee ! Do your thang ! I 'm sitting in an ice cream store and Barack and Michelle walk in . My friend leans across the table to let me know that this is Barack 's new campaign strategy : no more big rallies , just meeting normal people in normal places . After a few minutes , I leave the shop and run into Barack outside . He tells me to walk and talk with him . He always walks a few steps ahead of me . He asks if I 'm a student , and I feel ashamed to say that I graduated several years ago . I tell him I 'm a youth minister . Barack laughs derisively and walks away . My grandmother told me her dream : I was in the living room of a modest apartment . There was a small dinner party and I was dancing with Obama . I went into the dining room and announced , I forgot to tell you that this is my husband Barack Obama and he is running for president . Then I said , Oh wait , I made a mistake , he 's not my husband . Michelle came in and I told that her I was sorry I said Barack was my husband because he is hers . She replied , That 's okay . Then everyone but me sat at the dinner table and Barack felt sick from the food and turned different colors . Next scene we are in an auditorium and I 'm standing in the back . Barack is walking down the aisle on the left side and he 's asking people to vote for him . Barack made a campaign stop in my hometown . Someone had booked him in a hotel that had a bathroom made entirely of glass , so you could see from the outside what he was doing in there , however it was clouded glass so you couldn 't see anything clearly . Someone made a video of him showering and posted it on the internet . Of course , this caused a hailstorm of controversy and everyone demanded that Obama explain why he would book a hotel with a see - through bathroom . He countered by explaining that it really wasn 't a big deal because it was clouded glass and you couldn 't see everything . My wife and I were driving an SUV on riverbed in Alaska . We pulled out of the river into a hotel parking lot . Then I found myself without my wife , in my hotel room , in the bathroom . Barack Obama came in . I said Mr . Obama , and he looked at me and addressed me by name . I was uncertain what to do , began to stand , then decided against it halfway . I had also reflexively put out my hand to shake his , and Barack did too . We both stopped , with pained expressions , and I said , You don 't have to . He quickly shook my hand . I sat down and told him he should wash his hand but he left the room . Immediately , a Secret Service agent came in and started to check the room for bugs . I asked him to give me a minute but he insisted he had to sweep the room right away . Obama was right outside the door asking me to hurry up because he had to go , but I was so self - conscious with this Secret Service agent there that I could not do my business . I was in a large house with vaulted ceilings and skylights , sitting opposite Barack at the Fisher Price table my brother and I had when we were kids . Like old friends , Barack and I were catching up on life and chatting about foreign policy and health care . Finally he had to go and asked if he could use our bathroom on the way out . I said sure . A dozen or so of my friends were scurrying around the house , playing tag . Just as Barack reached the bathroom , a friend darted in front of him , went in , and slammed the door . He shrugged like it was no big deal . I apologized . I dreamt that I was in a great big field . There was a volcano near me . Barack appeared above the volcano with an elephant on his head . The volcano erupted and Barack flew toward me . The elephant picked me up and put me on his back . The end . ( His father and I are both avid Barack supporters and talk about the race quite a bit at home . ) I dreamed I was at an Obama rally . As he spoke , he began to raise his hands in the air and levitate small objects around him . Everyone was shocked at first , but quickly accepted his abilities as real . He seemed a bit uncomfortable with what had happened , like he didn 't mean to do what he did . I had a vivid Barack dream last night that spoke to me of one of my ongoing internal struggles . I was at a campaign event for Barack , like a community BBQ . We sat at long picnic tables and Barack was on my right . It was like we knew each other and he was checking in to see what I was doing with my life . I said I was a filmmaker and I started going on about the transformative power of art . I mentioned Marcel Duchamp for some reason . Hearing that , Barack shook his head disapprovingly , asking me what it had to do with real folks like the ones at this BBQ . He thought I was wasting my life with all this artsy fartsy stuff and I should be doing something more pragmatic and political , be a lawyer like him , commit myself to service . I felt ashamed . My dream shifted and suddenly I was an indentured servant in some bizarre building complex surrounded by barbed wire . I was trying to escape , but it sort of felt like punishment for my self - indulgent ways . I was working in a giant field that had been freshly tilled and Barack was showing me how to pick out the rocks from the soil and toss them to the outskirts . As I pitched my first few rocks he was very encouraging , and placed his hand on my shoulder at one point to offer me kudos for my efforts . There was a crowd of dusty onlookers that were watching him instruct me . I remember feeling excited about what we might plant there . I was in a conference room at a hotel , standing behind white columns at the back of the room . I 'm not sure if there were other people in the room at the time . In slacks and a white oxford with sleeves rolled up , Barack approached me and extended his arms , and we embraced . He said , Thank you for your help , Verna . We hugged and he kissed my cheek . We continued embracing and then suddenly we were kissing for just a few more seconds . We both stepped back and looked at each other in confusion and surprise . I awkwardly stuttered my through an excuse to leave and Barack did the same . In the dream , I somehow knew his wife was approaching and that we needed to part ways before she discovered us . And that was that . I went to see my therapist at our regular time . When I entered her office , Barack Obama was sitting on the couch , leaning forward , looking like himself on the cover of The Audacity of Hope . My therapist informed me that instead of our regular individual therapy , we would be having group therapy with Barack and one other person , who I didn 't recognize . I felt angry that Barack was intruding on our session . I was standing on an enormous stage with Obama , his family , and many other people . The sun was shining radiantly in our eyes ; a huge glowing green field stretched out before us . My husband of six months and I stood behind Barack , holding hands , sturdy and joyful . I was overwhelmed with a feeling of certainty that my husband and I will have a good , happy life together . I 'm watching a movie preview for Horton Hears A Who . They 're showing clips of the actors reading their lines , then a clip of the cartoon character finishing the line . The actor playing Horton is Barack Obama ! He is saying the line , We must travel secretly . . . I dreamed that someone gave me a book by Barack , but instead of The Audacity of Hope it was The Lion King children 's book . The strange thing was that instead of Simba 's face on the lion it was Barack 's . Then when I closed the book I looked up and saw Barack smiling and he asked if I liked it . I said , I loved it . The Lion King is one of my favorite movies . I was in an empty restaurant , sitting with Barack at a table . I asked Barack about his feelings regarding the constant need for him to publicly reiterate that he is not a Muslim . Barack said nothing , got up and walked away . I tried to follow him , but he was elusive . I grew humiliated and upset . Barack and I had been involved in what I thought was a serious romantic relationship . Throughout the evening , I was sending him loving text messages and continually checking my phone , though I never received a response . As the dream progressed it became clear that he was either focused on his campaign or , more likely , had just lost interest in me , which was very upsetting . I was hanging out with Barack , flirting with him a bit . My boyfriend was with me and started getting annoyed at this . I dismissed my him , saying , Dude . . . it 's Obama ! As in , DUH , of course I 'm going to flirt with him , nothing wrong with that . Then I got a pang of guilt when I thought about Michelle Obama , thinking that I shouldn 't be a homewrecker . I dreamed Obama was a candidate in the Spanish general elections . It was election day and I went to cast my vote for him . I was looking around for the paper ballot but couldn 't find it . I became desperate and went up to the lazy officials , blaming them for just sitting around rather than having the ballots ready . I left the polling station sadly . Walking around the corner , I witnessed Barack cleaning the foggy windows of an expensive home . I tried to run and tell him that I was unable to cast my vote , but I was too sad , my legs were too heavy - - I could not advance . I was moving in the same place . I saw him , in the distance , grow tired . He sat down on an empty wooden stool in a fetal position . He looked beautiful and peaceful , still as a sculpture . I saw Obama walking down the street in a small village in Thailand . I asked him what he was doing here in Thailand when he should have been campaigning in America . We started talking , and he said he didn 't have any place to stay in Thailand . I told him he could stay with me , and he thanked me and we went off to do other things . Then I remembered that I was living with my students and I wasn 't in any position to say he could stay with us , especially since it was women - only house . I grew really worried . The thing is , I actually live in the same neighborhood as Obama and many of my friends have seen him near my home . Why did I displace the meeting to Thailand ? I was taking a trip to Hawaii - - but it was all very rushed and sudden . I could see the plane waiting on the runway and I was in my room thinking I needed something to read for the trip . As I was getting closer to the plane ( its colors were brown and red ) I saw Barack , who was going there , too . I thought that I should have brought a swimsuit . It was Valentine 's Day . I was waiting in line at a cheap department store . I was fifth or sith in line , and all of a sudden I saw that Barack was behind me . No one would let him cut in line , so I let him go ahead of me . He was wearing a completely pink suit . He had a dozen roses . How come you 're not dressed up for Valentine 's Day ? he asked me . I told him I didn 't usually do that , and he replied Oh I see , you like to take it easy . That 's cool . He paid for the roses and strolled out . Barack had come to speak at my summer camp . It was outside at Sunday Service , and we were all sitting on wooden benches looking out over the water . There were only a handful of people in attendance . I 'd helped set up the event , so I was sitting close up . After he spoke , I raised my hand to ask a question . Barack , are you a feminist ? He said he was not . I was very disappointed . This guy next to me wearing gold cuff links starts laughing at my question . Then I stormed out and said that I was voting for Hillary . Barack Obama stopped by with Lorna , a woman I used to work with . They were just standing there , he in a white shirt and dark pants , she stark naked with her long red hair covering her shoulders like she was Lady Godiva . He had brought her to pick up the baby , which was in the other room . He was explaining to me that she would be taking care of it . I was quite surprised because Lorna is an unmarried woman in her late 50 's , has no children , and I couldn 't understand why she would be caring for his - her ? - infant . Then they left , explaining they had to be on their way . Barack and I were in the back seat of a moving car . He was on top of me . We were making out ( clothed ) . Barack kept whispering in my ear , Tell me what you want me to change . . . Tell me what you want me to change . . . Each time I tried to tell him , he 'd go , Shhh , not too loud . I think he was trying to protect me . It was pretty hot . Let 's just say I was on the fence between before I went to bed that night , and when I woke up , I wasn 't . I was walking against the current through a crowd of people and Barack was walking toward me . He was so magnetic and seemed to be emitting a golden light - - very shiny . I couldn 't look away . He smiled at me , and just as he was next to me I thought , I have to vote for Obama . Once he was gone , however , I snapped back into the " real world " and wondered what had just happened . I felt as though some spell had been cast over me , and I was pretty angry at him . I 'd been invited to ride in the Obama campaign bus . I 've done a little freelance journalism in my time , so I was taking notes as if I was interviewing him . The Senator was actually driving the bus . He was wearing his usual dark suit and was chatting very informally with me , was very polite and amiable . The specific quote I remember him saying was this : Mary , you 're a very busy person . How do you balance it all ? How do you recharge your battery ? He asked this in a very respectful - of - the - working class way , and we had a rather mundane but pleasant conversation . I remember him spinning the big steering wheel , and casting his clear gaze across the horizon as he drove . I woke with the impression that he could win . I was in a smoky , hazy hotel office / suite with Barack Obama . We had driven back together from a big rally and speech . He walked ahead of me and was dismissive , or maybe just distracted . I wasn 't sure whether he 'd already won the presidency or was still just a candidate . I was acting as one of his assistants . I 'd been respectfully carrying his coat and now I lay it on the bed . When I tried to engage him in some light banter about how he felt about the rally , he seemed distracted and annoyed . I was struck that in private , behind closed doors , he was a different man : cordial enough , certainly not mean - spirited , but his tone in private was nothing like his public persona . He reached for a pack of cigarettes , though the room was already smoky enough . My dream was set at the Robert F . Kennedy assassination , in that same room . Barack was at the podium . He finished speaking and stepped down from the podium and began his exit , everything as it had been at the RFK assassination - at least as I have seen it portrayed in films . As Barack walked through the narrow path which security had made through the crowd , a man lunged forward and shot and killed him . The moment I woke up , I felt overwhelmed by futility and profound frustration . I felt terrible for the people whose hopes had been shattered , with no recourse . I went to Washington to meet Barack . He was running around and I kept having to run to catch up with him . I was going up to people and telling them who he was - that he was running for president , and just all the great things about him . But I was not doing a good job . I would stutter and lose my train of thought . People weren 't listening to me . I was so frustrated ! These people were walking right past him and they didn 't know that he was the most amazing man in the world ! Barack and I ended up in his small office . It was inside a classroom where advanced math was being taught . We talked for some time and I explained that I am not a good speaker - that I have problems conveying my thoughts accurately . He told me to talk to one of his staff who would help me . Then I asked Barack why he had allowed me into his office and he said it was because of my " letter . " Apparently I had written him a letter . Well , he had to run off again , this time to the Library to Congress to return a copy of the Constitution that dated back to the 1700s . I began going up to people in the street , and talking to them , trying to tell them who Barack Obama was , but I was no better than I had been in the beginning . I became best friends with Barack Obama . We had a sleepover at his house and played board games all night , like it was middle school again . In the morning , he went to the kitchen to cook up some pancakes . While he was out of the room , I took the opportunity to call my friend on the phone , all excited , saying , You have to come over ! I 'm at Barack 's house and we have pancakes ! She replied , Yeah , whatever , me and Barack are BFF . We 're going to hang out later this afternoon . I was in a Barnes & Noble with my boss . Barack stopped in while we were perusing books on the second floor . I guessed he had a speaking engagement nearby . He was standing next to us and all kinds of people were coming up to him and telling him that they supported his policies , telling him their stories , asking him questions . His presence was very calming and he answered everyone 's questions thoughtfully . I woke up understanding why people like him , and thinking to myself that I should try to read more about this election and maybe even vote . Keanu Reeves was voted in as the next President of the United States . He was giving his acceptance speech , dressed in jeans and a hoodie . He looked good , but we were all shocked . How did he win ? Did we even know he was running ? I set about urgently painting him a sign , twelve metres long , with a too - dry paint brush , reminding him of all the things he had to remember : Prioritize education . Provide medicare . Cap corporate profits . The environment ! There were two brief interruptions as we fielded interviewed reactions from Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama . They were both equally stumped . They didn 't know he was running , but were gracious losers . I was back in College . Barack was a professor . It was Thanksgiving weekend , and Barack was organizing an Orphan 's Thanksgiving for all of us who had no where else to go . It became a really huge production . People were abandoning their plans with their families in order to go to Barack 's house . I was put in charge of writing thank - you notes and baking the pies ( I had explained to Barack how my family always made key lime pie for Thanksgiving ) . Over dinner , Barack described Illyrian architecture . When I woke , I wondered , Is there such a thing as Illyrian architecture ? It was very strange . Usually I just dream about my teeth falling out . Barack and I were sitting in my office , and he was consulting with me about corrective eye surgery . He had been referred to my practice for my expertise , and though I was flattered that he had come to me , I referred him to a well - known surgeon for the consult . I asked about his eyeglasses and if I might see them . He said he hated his glasses , but when he showed them to me , they were beautiful retro frames : thick , tortoise - shell , plastic . Yet they were mangled and badly in need of repair . I encouraged him to wear them , and offered to repair them . I began adjusting the frames in my private lab when I promptly broke them . I was horrified . In the spring of 2008 , during the Democratic primaries , I collected the sleeping dreams people were having about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton , edited them slightly for length , and posted them here . Once the primaries were over , I stopped . The dream researcher Kelly Bulkeley continues the project by collecting dreams about Barack Obama on his related site . I am the author of several books of fiction : How Should a Person Be ? , The Middle Stories , Ticknor , a children 's book called We Need a Horse , and The Chairs Are Where the People Go , with Misha Glouberman . I am currently working on a book that is still accepting contributors called Women in Clothes . Details at : www . womeninclothes . com www . sheilaheti . net |
I was at a resort . There was a building we all passed through to get to the beach . Barack Obama was there greeting the guests of the resort as we came in . He walked with me a few steps and made sure I had towels and a drink before going out on the beach . I relaxed for a while , then decided to shower there . I returned to the building where a friendly and helpful Barack showed me to an empty shower . I showered . Feeling relaxed and refreshed , I exited the stall and attempted to hang my used towel on a hook outside the door . Barack became serious all of a sudden and told me not to hang up the towel . He said that I had to fold the towel longways in thirds , then roll it jellyroll style . He showed me a basket where I had to place the jellyrolled towel , flat side down . I was no longer relaxed when I looked at the basket with one layer of towels , folded and rolled as he had instructed . A week ago I dreamt of having a tete - a - tete with Obama . It was very nice . We kissed and embraced each other and I loved his smooth dark skin , his special features . Barack and a girl friend of mine and I are sitting , talking about politics . Barack says something and I smell alcohol on his breath and I think it 's weird that he has alcohol breath . Then I remember we just had a party . He turns away and on the back of his head there are two nails , one higher than the other . I get really upset and say , I know they got him bugged . He gets up to go brush his teeth from the alcohol breath and I proceed to talk to my girl friend about a secret government that is conspiring and following him . He comes rushing into the room and says he wants to know all about it , and I am shocked he could hear me from the bathroom . Barack Obama and I were in my bed , having sex ; he was on top . Everything was going really well until we saw Michelle in the next room . Even though she couldn 't see us , Barack started to get worried and lose his erection . I told him that I was on the birth control pill so there was nothing to worry about ; I wouldn 't get pregnant and Michelle wouldn 't find out . That made him feel better and he got hard again . I had a dream it was snowing a lot . I went across the street to do laundry , then next door to get a drink where I met my boyfriend . Obama was in there giving a speech . It wasn 't so bad . It was just like he was talking to everyone privately at a table with strong soft words . It didn 't feel like he was hogging the mic . Obama asked us to take him back to where we were living . We took him to two places that became one : the apartment where we lived , that was dark and cold and poor , and the house down the street some kids we knew lived in whose parents had died . It was beautiful and rich . Sheila and Lauren and someone else were sharing a bed in a cold dark room where the windows were broken . Obama was sitting on the edge of the bed reading a rainbow card I had made myself to not feel so sad . He read it out loud , quietly - he said it was dumb and magical . I was in the hallway , I nodded . I woke up in the rich house in a huge soft bed with clean sheets and cream carpeting . The windows were broken and all the snow was coming in . [ The Hillary dream . . . ] There was a shootout in my home . It was like the wild west , with the women upstairs hiding and the men downstairs shooting . I don 't know who was fighting whom , or why . Barack Obama was there . He sat next to me on the couch but sat on my glasses so I could not see . I am standing in the front row of a large , packed arena . The crowded is going crazy in anticipation for Barack to come out , the atmosphere more rock concert than political rally . Barack finally emerges , only he has long , bright green dreadlocks and he 's bouncing around on stage in jeans and a white t - shirt , getting the crowd fired up . He passes up the podium and goes straight to the crowd , ripping his t - shirt off along the way , and gives everyone in the crowd a high - five . The crowd is loving it , but I find myself filled with anxiety , thinking , Wow , I 'm glad he has finally found his confidence , but I think this is taking it a bit too far . In a bright , white room Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden were fighting . Obama had Bin Laden pinned , when Bin Laden reached up and tried to break Obama 's jaw . Obama seized the opportunity to bite two of Bin Laden 's fingers off , the middle and ring finger . Then Obama was in a suit giving a speech and he was in the White House as president . ( I assume that the feat was so incredible there was no need for an election , or maybe he was already president . ) Each time he would say the part of the speech that garnered applause , he would show the two fingers , which he held up with a small tissue . Some people and I followed Obama into Lake Michigan . My terror of deep water came to me but then I suddenly knew that I would be able swim in this soft water and stay on the surface and not drown or be afraid . We swam and swam and then came around a curving shore towards a downtown Chicago harbor where there was a cheering crowd waiting to see him . But his two baby sons had been playing in the water and were missing . I swam out farther into the lake and found them clinging to some branches . They were cold and barely alive - - just very tiny babies . Just then Obama swam up and he saw that I had found them . He took one and I took the other and we swam them back to shore to where his wife was waiting . One of the babies smiled at me and said my name . I 'm in Washington , walking past some shallow , marble steps . Barack is sitting there , resting his elbows on his knees and reading from a small book . The book looks just like my journal . I started to panic . Is Barack Obama reading my diary ? Then I realize that I am holding my diary , so he must have one of his own . I think how cool it is that we have the same book in which to record our experiences , even though our lives are so different . Hey , we have the same book ! I call out , and hold up my diary . Barack looks over and smiles warmly but distantly , as though he is pleased by our little connection but is still deep in thought . I turn and walk on , enjoying the spring weather and glad that I was brave enough to speak to him . I am in a large room with some high - school friends , taking a test Barack has designed . Competition is steep and I am really emotionally invested in doing well . After the test is over , we all sit on the tables and wait for the scores . Mine comes out in the " weak " category . Barack starts walking up and down the aisles , acknowledging the people who have scored in the top category . Everyone else becomes an " untouchable " to him . It is like we didn 't exist and are of no importance at all . I feel absolutely horrible . I am at a nice , big cabin in the mountains of Colorado with some close friends and family , when an unplanned guest shows up . It is Barack Obama . He is so weak he can barely walk . Some men are helping him into the house . I get close and see that he is crying . I say , It 's ok , it 's just tears of milk . White tears are streaming down the left side of his face . The men begin helping him down a wooden deck toward the master bedroom , when Barack slumps down and something comes out from him : it is a big white snowball , followed by a large snow cube carved in an ornate way . Then the men help him up and he goes into the bedroom to lie down . My dad and I happen upon a church where Barack is speaking . Entering , I feel a strong sense of being different from the mostly black congregation . Barack stands at the pulpit , but he is old and pale with a receding , red afro . I am surprised that he is so much less attractive than in my mind . I know the religious right in the congregation are plotting his downfall . Then something odd falls from his person . It is a round object that resembles a child 's rubbery , flashing Spike Ball . I know that in the ball lies the success of Barack 's campaign . Only one other person sees it fall , and in her eyes I can tell that she also knows of its power . The average - looking woman and I tussle for the ball and when I come up victorious , I notice a change in the congregation . About half of the African - Americans are now white . I hand the ball to Michelle , who doesn 't thank me . I exit the church and shrug my shoulders at the woman I scuffled with and say , Sorry . I am with my stepfather 's family and they are making me crazy ! I get so angry and frustrated that I fall on the floor and start throwing a temper tantrum . My husband arrives and sees me . Without saying anything , he turns on some reggaeton music , which he knows I can 't resist . I get up and start dancing . We dance and dance and I think , I 'm so lucky to be married to somebody who knows exactly what I need ! Then I realize , That 's not my husband - - that 's Barack Obama ! I met Barack in the West Village while he was campaigning . We made out all over the city and he was a very good kisser . His campaign staff , who were totally unphased by this , prevented Michelle and the media from finding out . Turns out Obama was quite the ladies ' man . Everywhere we went , women flirted with him openly and thanked him for past good times . I was so thrilled to be with him , I didn 't even feel jealous , just lucky to have had him for a day and possibly as president in the near future . I was shopping for counterfeit handbags on a busy street in Chinatown with some of my friends . A number of the vendors had radios tuned to the same station , which was playing a modern jazz song . When the song ended , the DJ said , Now it 's time for Barack Obama , live from Hawaii ! . Barack 's voice came on , and said , My fellow citizens , this has been a long , hard campaign , and I am very tired . It 's a rocky path I must travel and I just don 't know if I can make it . Then he sang Ole Man River and the entire street fell silent . For the duration of the song , everyone just stood and listened . I am on a cruise with Barack somewhere in the Pacific . My job is to give him advice on campaign strategies . Barack is wearing a brightly - colored hibiscus - printed sarong . He looks so thin and concerned and vulnerable . As my maternal feelings well up , he begins to look more like my boy . I counsel him to take care of himself and to just continue to be himself . I tells him he is wonderful and that I am so proud of him . I would have liked to have been able to feed him and comfort him , but I held myself back from embracing him in my arms . I was standing on the sidelines of a baseball game , when I began to speak to one of the outfielders about why I support Obama . Eventually , a large crowd gathered about , listening and cheering as I elaborated on how Bush 's war in Iraq and the massive deficit were impeding American progress . I was neither stammering nor hesitating as I spoke . Talking about Obama seemed to eliminate any sense of self - doubt or uncertainty about my value as an individual . Barack and I had plans to drive to the outlet mall that afternoon . As we left my house and walked toward my husband 's Ford Explorer , we laughed like two old friends . He gave me a playful nudge and said , I just love you ! This made me ridiculously happy . When we reached the car , he had trouble fitting into the passenger seat because his legs were so long . The back seat was down and needed lifting . I was afraid he would make me lift it by myself , but he helped me . Then we drove to the mall . I 'm standing on a street corner watching Barack enthusiastically help a baby onto a pogo - stick / bicycle hybrid made of flimsy white plastic . The baby and pogocycle topple over onto the pavement . The thuddy sound was not unlike an old mushy piece of fruit landing on the floor . I remember being at once fascinated by the fact no brains spilled anywhere , and horrified at the sight and sound . I am at a dinner table with twenty - five people I 've known in my life , as well as some I 've never met . I start choking but everyone is talking and laughing and no one notices me struggling . I try to stand to get their attention when I feel someone grab me and begin the Heimlich , launching the chunk of food into the middle of the table . I turned to see who helped me , and it 's Barack Obama ! He takes my hands and gives me a big smile and says Thank you ! - - like he did at the rally in Seattle in real life . I say , You 're welcome ! My gosh , I didn 't even know you were going to be here tonight . Then he leaves and I wonder why he thanked me . I am in an apartment building , the fourth I 've moved into this year . Barack is unconscious in its medical care ward , and the only doctor there is absorbed with another patient . I ask if I can help , but he says no . I then follow the doctor to an elevator as he carries Barack out - - to get him better care elsewhere , I assume . On the way down , the elevator starts shaking wildly . I think it might be an earthquake , given the ferocity . I try to relax my body and ride it out . Then the building crashes to the ground . I am unharmed . The doctor carrying Barack seems fine , and Barack is not harmed further . The doctor hurries off with him and I learn that the building was still under construction from the 6th floor up , and was poorly made , which is why it was collapsing . Barack was giving a speech at The Phoenix Zoo , standing inside an exhibit . He had an orangutan on his shoulders and was talking about the importance of conservation . I found myself very impressed with his ideas but a little put off by the fact that he was so rushed that he didn 't have time to talk with us after his speech , and was just hustled on to his next engagement by a crowd of handlers . Barack was the new youth minister at my University . As a gesture of welcome , a group of us invited him out for the night for beers . The evening was a success , and we returned with him to his faculty apartment for some late - night , meaning - of - life conversation . We were getting comfortable when Barack excused himself to go to the restroom and came out lighting his Speed Stick Gel deodorant on fire and huffing the fumes . His adeptness with the deodorant / lighter technique and lack of self - consciousness implied this was simply his standard nightcap . I am in the back seat of a car that Barack is driving . Michelle is in the passenger seat . We don 't know each other well - - maybe they picked me up hitchhiking . I ask him about his daughters and I talk about the tiny crap - hole apartment I used to live in . It 's the next day , and I 'm talking to my coworker about Barack , feeling like I have a crush on him or something . I 'm an editor at a magazine , and my boss overhears . He says he wants to use my connection with Barack to ask him to write a story on kids ' room storage solutions . I feel that it 's not best way to utilize him . I was going to a retreat center in the mountains to do a mini - workshop with a shaman . I arrived late and walked out of the lodge to find the group . I walked down the path in the snow , and caught the last of the " ritual " with the ( Inuit ? ) shaman sitting by the fire , doing some sort of blessing . Then it was over . Heading back , I found myself walking with Barack . I somehow knew him on a personal level , and we chatted about how the campaign was going , how he was holding up , etc . It felt good to see him , like seeing an old friend . We went into the lodge together , finishing our conversation . Michelle saw us walk in and gave me a dirty look . I remember feeling annoyed because Barack and I were just friends and she knew that . I was shopping at a drugstore and came across a display of Valentine 's Day gift ideas . It included a CD entitled Barack Obama Sings 20 Classic Love Songs . I considered buying it for my sister . I was on Obama 's campaign bus and was sitting right next to him on some sort of a bench . He was wearing a crisp , light blue shirt , which I think contributed to me wanting to snuggle up closer to him . He then hugged me and we held each other for a while like that . The embrace had the warmth of fatherly affection , but I also remember waking up semi - aroused and thinking about his body . Posted by Barack was teaching a middle school class . I was at a desk in the back of the room . Everyone had slightly over - sized bobble heads , including Barack . He was a passionate teacher and had all of us engaged in a lesson . Then he pulled out an electric guitar and started playing and walking around the classroom , singing . When he came near my desk I jokingly yelled , Do your thang Huckabee ! Do your thang ! I 'm sitting in an ice cream store and Barack and Michelle walk in . My friend leans across the table to let me know that this is Barack 's new campaign strategy : no more big rallies , just meeting normal people in normal places . After a few minutes , I leave the shop and run into Barack outside . He tells me to walk and talk with him . He always walks a few steps ahead of me . He asks if I 'm a student , and I feel ashamed to say that I graduated several years ago . I tell him I 'm a youth minister . Barack laughs derisively and walks away . My grandmother told me her dream : I was in the living room of a modest apartment . There was a small dinner party and I was dancing with Obama . I went into the dining room and announced , I forgot to tell you that this is my husband Barack Obama and he is running for president . Then I said , Oh wait , I made a mistake , he 's not my husband . Michelle came in and I told that her I was sorry I said Barack was my husband because he is hers . She replied , That 's okay . Then everyone but me sat at the dinner table and Barack felt sick from the food and turned different colors . Next scene we are in an auditorium and I 'm standing in the back . Barack is walking down the aisle on the left side and he 's asking people to vote for him . Barack made a campaign stop in my hometown . Someone had booked him in a hotel that had a bathroom made entirely of glass , so you could see from the outside what he was doing in there , however it was clouded glass so you couldn 't see anything clearly . Someone made a video of him showering and posted it on the internet . Of course , this caused a hailstorm of controversy and everyone demanded that Obama explain why he would book a hotel with a see - through bathroom . He countered by explaining that it really wasn 't a big deal because it was clouded glass and you couldn 't see everything . My wife and I were driving an SUV on riverbed in Alaska . We pulled out of the river into a hotel parking lot . Then I found myself without my wife , in my hotel room , in the bathroom . Barack Obama came in . I said Mr . Obama , and he looked at me and addressed me by name . I was uncertain what to do , began to stand , then decided against it halfway . I had also reflexively put out my hand to shake his , and Barack did too . We both stopped , with pained expressions , and I said , You don 't have to . He quickly shook my hand . I sat down and told him he should wash his hand but he left the room . Immediately , a Secret Service agent came in and started to check the room for bugs . I asked him to give me a minute but he insisted he had to sweep the room right away . Obama was right outside the door asking me to hurry up because he had to go , but I was so self - conscious with this Secret Service agent there that I could not do my business . I was in a large house with vaulted ceilings and skylights , sitting opposite Barack at the Fisher Price table my brother and I had when we were kids . Like old friends , Barack and I were catching up on life and chatting about foreign policy and health care . Finally he had to go and asked if he could use our bathroom on the way out . I said sure . A dozen or so of my friends were scurrying around the house , playing tag . Just as Barack reached the bathroom , a friend darted in front of him , went in , and slammed the door . He shrugged like it was no big deal . I apologized . I dreamt that I was in a great big field . There was a volcano near me . Barack appeared above the volcano with an elephant on his head . The volcano erupted and Barack flew toward me . The elephant picked me up and put me on his back . The end . ( His father and I are both avid Barack supporters and talk about the race quite a bit at home . ) I dreamed I was at an Obama rally . As he spoke , he began to raise his hands in the air and levitate small objects around him . Everyone was shocked at first , but quickly accepted his abilities as real . He seemed a bit uncomfortable with what had happened , like he didn 't mean to do what he did . I had a vivid Barack dream last night that spoke to me of one of my ongoing internal struggles . I was at a campaign event for Barack , like a community BBQ . We sat at long picnic tables and Barack was on my right . It was like we knew each other and he was checking in to see what I was doing with my life . I said I was a filmmaker and I started going on about the transformative power of art . I mentioned Marcel Duchamp for some reason . Hearing that , Barack shook his head disapprovingly , asking me what it had to do with real folks like the ones at this BBQ . He thought I was wasting my life with all this artsy fartsy stuff and I should be doing something more pragmatic and political , be a lawyer like him , commit myself to service . I felt ashamed . My dream shifted and suddenly I was an indentured servant in some bizarre building complex surrounded by barbed wire . I was trying to escape , but it sort of felt like punishment for my self - indulgent ways . I was working in a giant field that had been freshly tilled and Barack was showing me how to pick out the rocks from the soil and toss them to the outskirts . As I pitched my first few rocks he was very encouraging , and placed his hand on my shoulder at one point to offer me kudos for my efforts . There was a crowd of dusty onlookers that were watching him instruct me . I remember feeling excited about what we might plant there . I was in a conference room at a hotel , standing behind white columns at the back of the room . I 'm not sure if there were other people in the room at the time . In slacks and a white oxford with sleeves rolled up , Barack approached me and extended his arms , and we embraced . He said , Thank you for your help , Verna . We hugged and he kissed my cheek . We continued embracing and then suddenly we were kissing for just a few more seconds . We both stepped back and looked at each other in confusion and surprise . I awkwardly stuttered my through an excuse to leave and Barack did the same . In the dream , I somehow knew his wife was approaching and that we needed to part ways before she discovered us . And that was that . I went to see my therapist at our regular time . When I entered her office , Barack Obama was sitting on the couch , leaning forward , looking like himself on the cover of The Audacity of Hope . My therapist informed me that instead of our regular individual therapy , we would be having group therapy with Barack and one other person , who I didn 't recognize . I felt angry that Barack was intruding on our session . I was standing on an enormous stage with Obama , his family , and many other people . The sun was shining radiantly in our eyes ; a huge glowing green field stretched out before us . My husband of six months and I stood behind Barack , holding hands , sturdy and joyful . I was overwhelmed with a feeling of certainty that my husband and I will have a good , happy life together . I 'm watching a movie preview for Horton Hears A Who . They 're showing clips of the actors reading their lines , then a clip of the cartoon character finishing the line . The actor playing Horton is Barack Obama ! He is saying the line , We must travel secretly . . . I dreamed that someone gave me a book by Barack , but instead of The Audacity of Hope it was The Lion King children 's book . The strange thing was that instead of Simba 's face on the lion it was Barack 's . Then when I closed the book I looked up and saw Barack smiling and he asked if I liked it . I said , I loved it . The Lion King is one of my favorite movies . I was in an empty restaurant , sitting with Barack at a table . I asked Barack about his feelings regarding the constant need for him to publicly reiterate that he is not a Muslim . Barack said nothing , got up and walked away . I tried to follow him , but he was elusive . I grew humiliated and upset . Barack and I had been involved in what I thought was a serious romantic relationship . Throughout the evening , I was sending him loving text messages and continually checking my phone , though I never received a response . As the dream progressed it became clear that he was either focused on his campaign or , more likely , had just lost interest in me , which was very upsetting . I was hanging out with Barack , flirting with him a bit . My boyfriend was with me and started getting annoyed at this . I dismissed my him , saying , Dude . . . it 's Obama ! As in , DUH , of course I 'm going to flirt with him , nothing wrong with that . Then I got a pang of guilt when I thought about Michelle Obama , thinking that I shouldn 't be a homewrecker . I dreamed Obama was a candidate in the Spanish general elections . It was election day and I went to cast my vote for him . I was looking around for the paper ballot but couldn 't find it . I became desperate and went up to the lazy officials , blaming them for just sitting around rather than having the ballots ready . I left the polling station sadly . Walking around the corner , I witnessed Barack cleaning the foggy windows of an expensive home . I tried to run and tell him that I was unable to cast my vote , but I was too sad , my legs were too heavy - - I could not advance . I was moving in the same place . I saw him , in the distance , grow tired . He sat down on an empty wooden stool in a fetal position . He looked beautiful and peaceful , still as a sculpture . I saw Obama walking down the street in a small village in Thailand . I asked him what he was doing here in Thailand when he should have been campaigning in America . We started talking , and he said he didn 't have any place to stay in Thailand . I told him he could stay with me , and he thanked me and we went off to do other things . Then I remembered that I was living with my students and I wasn 't in any position to say he could stay with us , especially since it was women - only house . I grew really worried . The thing is , I actually live in the same neighborhood as Obama and many of my friends have seen him near my home . Why did I displace the meeting to Thailand ? I was taking a trip to Hawaii - - but it was all very rushed and sudden . I could see the plane waiting on the runway and I was in my room thinking I needed something to read for the trip . As I was getting closer to the plane ( its colors were brown and red ) I saw Barack , who was going there , too . I thought that I should have brought a swimsuit . It was Valentine 's Day . I was waiting in line at a cheap department store . I was fifth or sith in line , and all of a sudden I saw that Barack was behind me . No one would let him cut in line , so I let him go ahead of me . He was wearing a completely pink suit . He had a dozen roses . How come you 're not dressed up for Valentine 's Day ? he asked me . I told him I didn 't usually do that , and he replied Oh I see , you like to take it easy . That 's cool . He paid for the roses and strolled out . Barack had come to speak at my summer camp . It was outside at Sunday Service , and we were all sitting on wooden benches looking out over the water . There were only a handful of people in attendance . I 'd helped set up the event , so I was sitting close up . After he spoke , I raised my hand to ask a question . Barack , are you a feminist ? He said he was not . I was very disappointed . This guy next to me wearing gold cuff links starts laughing at my question . Then I stormed out and said that I was voting for Hillary . Barack Obama stopped by with Lorna , a woman I used to work with . They were just standing there , he in a white shirt and dark pants , she stark naked with her long red hair covering her shoulders like she was Lady Godiva . He had brought her to pick up the baby , which was in the other room . He was explaining to me that she would be taking care of it . I was quite surprised because Lorna is an unmarried woman in her late 50 's , has no children , and I couldn 't understand why she would be caring for his - her ? - infant . Then they left , explaining they had to be on their way . Barack and I were in the back seat of a moving car . He was on top of me . We were making out ( clothed ) . Barack kept whispering in my ear , Tell me what you want me to change . . . Tell me what you want me to change . . . Each time I tried to tell him , he 'd go , Shhh , not too loud . I think he was trying to protect me . It was pretty hot . Let 's just say I was on the fence between before I went to bed that night , and when I woke up , I wasn 't . I was walking against the current through a crowd of people and Barack was walking toward me . He was so magnetic and seemed to be emitting a golden light - - very shiny . I couldn 't look away . He smiled at me , and just as he was next to me I thought , I have to vote for Obama . Once he was gone , however , I snapped back into the " real world " and wondered what had just happened . I felt as though some spell had been cast over me , and I was pretty angry at him . I 'd been invited to ride in the Obama campaign bus . I 've done a little freelance journalism in my time , so I was taking notes as if I was interviewing him . The Senator was actually driving the bus . He was wearing his usual dark suit and was chatting very informally with me , was very polite and amiable . The specific quote I remember him saying was this : Mary , you 're a very busy person . How do you balance it all ? How do you recharge your battery ? He asked this in a very respectful - of - the - working class way , and we had a rather mundane but pleasant conversation . I remember him spinning the big steering wheel , and casting his clear gaze across the horizon as he drove . I woke with the impression that he could win . I was in a smoky , hazy hotel office / suite with Barack Obama . We had driven back together from a big rally and speech . He walked ahead of me and was dismissive , or maybe just distracted . I wasn 't sure whether he 'd already won the presidency or was still just a candidate . I was acting as one of his assistants . I 'd been respectfully carrying his coat and now I lay it on the bed . When I tried to engage him in some light banter about how he felt about the rally , he seemed distracted and annoyed . I was struck that in private , behind closed doors , he was a different man : cordial enough , certainly not mean - spirited , but his tone in private was nothing like his public persona . He reached for a pack of cigarettes , though the room was already smoky enough . My dream was set at the Robert F . Kennedy assassination , in that same room . Barack was at the podium . He finished speaking and stepped down from the podium and began his exit , everything as it had been at the RFK assassination - at least as I have seen it portrayed in films . As Barack walked through the narrow path which security had made through the crowd , a man lunged forward and shot and killed him . The moment I woke up , I felt overwhelmed by futility and profound frustration . I felt terrible for the people whose hopes had been shattered , with no recourse . I went to Washington to meet Barack . He was running around and I kept having to run to catch up with him . I was going up to people and telling them who he was - that he was running for president , and just all the great things about him . But I was not doing a good job . I would stutter and lose my train of thought . People weren 't listening to me . I was so frustrated ! These people were walking right past him and they didn 't know that he was the most amazing man in the world ! Barack and I ended up in his small office . It was inside a classroom where advanced math was being taught . We talked for some time and I explained that I am not a good speaker - that I have problems conveying my thoughts accurately . He told me to talk to one of his staff who would help me . Then I asked Barack why he had allowed me into his office and he said it was because of my " letter . " Apparently I had written him a letter . Well , he had to run off again , this time to the Library to Congress to return a copy of the Constitution that dated back to the 1700s . I began going up to people in the street , and talking to them , trying to tell them who Barack Obama was , but I was no better than I had been in the beginning . I became best friends with Barack Obama . We had a sleepover at his house and played board games all night , like it was middle school again . In the morning , he went to the kitchen to cook up some pancakes . While he was out of the room , I took the opportunity to call my friend on the phone , all excited , saying , You have to come over ! I 'm at Barack 's house and we have pancakes ! She replied , Yeah , whatever , me and Barack are BFF . We 're going to hang out later this afternoon . I was in a Barnes & Noble with my boss . Barack stopped in while we were perusing books on the second floor . I guessed he had a speaking engagement nearby . He was standing next to us and all kinds of people were coming up to him and telling him that they supported his policies , telling him their stories , asking him questions . His presence was very calming and he answered everyone 's questions thoughtfully . I woke up understanding why people like him , and thinking to myself that I should try to read more about this election and maybe even vote . Keanu Reeves was voted in as the next President of the United States . He was giving his acceptance speech , dressed in jeans and a hoodie . He looked good , but we were all shocked . How did he win ? Did we even know he was running ? I set about urgently painting him a sign , twelve metres long , with a too - dry paint brush , reminding him of all the things he had to remember : Prioritize education . Provide medicare . Cap corporate profits . The environment ! There were two brief interruptions as we fielded interviewed reactions from Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama . They were both equally stumped . They didn 't know he was running , but were gracious losers . I was back in College . Barack was a professor . It was Thanksgiving weekend , and Barack was organizing an Orphan 's Thanksgiving for all of us who had no where else to go . It became a really huge production . People were abandoning their plans with their families in order to go to Barack 's house . I was put in charge of writing thank - you notes and baking the pies ( I had explained to Barack how my family always made key lime pie for Thanksgiving ) . Over dinner , Barack described Illyrian architecture . When I woke , I wondered , Is there such a thing as Illyrian architecture ? It was very strange . Usually I just dream about my teeth falling out . Barack and I were sitting in my office , and he was consulting with me about corrective eye surgery . He had been referred to my practice for my expertise , and though I was flattered that he had come to me , I referred him to a well - known surgeon for the consult . I asked about his eyeglasses and if I might see them . He said he hated his glasses , but when he showed them to me , they were beautiful retro frames : thick , tortoise - shell , plastic . Yet they were mangled and badly in need of repair . I encouraged him to wear them , and offered to repair them . I began adjusting the frames in my private lab when I promptly broke them . I was horrified . In the spring of 2008 , during the Democratic primaries , I collected the sleeping dreams people were having about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton , edited them slightly for length , and posted them here . Once the primaries were over , I stopped . The dream researcher Kelly Bulkeley continues the project by collecting dreams about Barack Obama on his related site . I am the author of several books of fiction : How Should a Person Be ? , The Middle Stories , Ticknor , a children 's book called We Need a Horse , and The Chairs Are Where the People Go , with Misha Glouberman . I am currently working on a book that is still accepting contributors called Women in Clothes . Details at : www . womeninclothes . com www . sheilaheti . net |
Grandpa lost his toothbrush , so he was in the bathroom squeezing toothpaste on his finger . He always leaves the door open , no matter what he 's doing in there . This drives Aunt Marcellina crazy . Lots of things drive Aunt Marcellina crazy . She hates that Grandpa smokes , so a long time ago she threw away all the ashtrays . Now he uses any cup or saucer or plate that 's handy , and if there aren 't any handy , he lets the ashes drop on the floor . Grinds the cigarettes out on the floor , too . When he 's wearing shoes . Sometimes even when he 's not . They fight about this every day . Aunt Marcellina drives Grandpa crazy , too . She makes us eat oatmeal for breakfast , and Grandpa can 't stand the stuff . So whenever Aunt Marcellina sets a bowl of it in front of him , he stands up and dumps the glop in the trash . Then she turns purple and screams at him for wasting food . Then he says some bad words and she yells at him for that . " Why do you let her live with you ? " I asked , soon after I came to live with Grandpa , too . " Family is family , " he said . " You can 't turn your back on family . Well , you can , but then you 'd be a goddamned son of a bitch . Marcellina knows she 's got a home here for as long as she lives . You , too , kid . " Aunt Marcellina is not my aunt . She 's Grandpa 's aunt . She 's not older than him , though . She 's Grandpa 's father 's youngest sister , or something like that . She used to have a job and an apartment . She used to live in another city . One day she came to visit Grandpa and his wife - my Grandma , but I never met her - and she never left . Grandpa and Grandma had kids . Aunt Marcellina stayed . Grandma died . Aunt Marcellina stayed . All the kids grew up and left . Aunt Marcellina stayed . This is not my home . I 'm not staying here a minute longer than I have to . The only reason I 'm related to these people is because nine months before I was born , a condom broke . My mom said that to me once . Actually , what she said was , " The only reason you 're here is because nine months before you were born , a condom broke . " I was four years old when she said that , but I remember . That was before she disappeared , and a long time before I knew Grandpa and Aunt Marcellina even existed . Grandpa didn 't really lose his toothbrush . He threw it at Aunt Marcellina when she was yelling at him for leaving the bathroom door open . She was standing in the hall , and he spun around and hurled it right at her head . Aunt Marcellina dodged , so it hit the wall . She picked it up with her finger and thumb , like it was a dead mouse , and threw it in the garbage . He hadn 't gotten dressed today . Not dressed to go out . He was wearing ratty old pajama bottoms and a t - shirt that was more holes than shirt . The veins in his feet were blue . His toenails were yellow . Aunt Marcellina hated it when Grandpa didn 't get dressed . She told him it wasn 't decent . Then he 'd yell that it was his house , goddammit , and he 'd sit around butt naked if he wanted to . Aunt Marcellina always had lunch with her friends Mrs . Waller and Mrs . Tepecik on Saturday , and then she did some shopping . Aunt Marcellina liked routines . Monday to Friday , she went out in the mornings . That didn 't help me any , since I was in school . She was always home when I got back . I never got a break from her , except on Saturdays . Grandpa stuck his finger in his mouth and started spreading toothpaste over the five or six teeth he still had in there . This was a little disgusting . He ran the water , bent his head to take a swig and swish it all around . He spit . He spit again . Whenever I complained about anything , Aunt Marcellina would tell me I was very lucky indeed to live in a house with running water AND electricity . Not a lot of people were as fortunate as me . He took another gulp of water and swished some more . After he spat that out , he said , " Don 't be a dumbshit . You know how she feels about cats . " I knew . The thing about Aunt Marcellina that drove Grandpa the craziest was how she always rushed out to the yard , front or back , it didn 't matter , and hexed any cat that set foot on the property . Loudly . In full view of the neighbors . Grandpa always had to run and haul her back inside . He told her that one fine day she 'd look out the window and see the whole goddamned neighborhood out there with pitchforks and torches and a stake to roast her on , and god save him if he knew why they hadn 't done it yet , and when that happened she 'd have no cause to bitch about it , because she was asking for it . In the foster home with Mrs . San , they 'd had a cat . It was nice . It was the nicest thing in that place . We had electricity for three hours a day , but we had to get our water from the government truck . Mrs . San made us eat oatmeal , too , and she never did the laundry so the kids at school made fun of me because I smelled . So I tried to wash some of my clothes in the bathtub , and Mrs . San found me and started hitting me with the toilet brush . We were only allowed to flush the toilet after we did number two , and then we had to scrub the bowl . There were four kids living there then . Two of them were older than me , so they made me scrub the toilet when it was their turns . The other one was just a baby . He didn 't turn around . He looked at me in the mirror above the sink . His eyes were droopy , and he hadn 't shaved for a few days , so his face was covered with white bristles . Grandpa hated shaving . He would 've grown a beard a long time ago , but Aunt Marcellina wouldn 't let him . " You know how to make coffee ? " " Yes . " I did . I used to do it at the second group home I was in . The first group home , I was only there for a couple of days . I don 't remember it too well . But I lived in the second one for almost a year . I don 't want to say the name of couple who ran it . I don 't want to remember that place . But making coffee was one of my jobs . " Okay , " I said , and by the time he got to the kitchen I had the coffee ready and a cup and saucer and spoon and sugar on the table ( Grandpa never put milk in his coffee ) , and an extra saucer for him to use as an ashtray . When I came to live at Grandpa 's house , Aunt Marcellina sighed and said , " Now we 're going to have to budget for milk . " Then she said that if he 'd give up his blasted cigarettes , they could afford chicken once in a while . He said , " Those no - winged , stump - legged things they call chickens now ? No thanks . " " Christ . " He looked at the table , then looked at me . He scratched his chest through one of the holes in his t - shirt . " I miss television , I really do . So what kind of story do you want , kid ? " " You scream the house down , and then blab to Marcellina , she 'll skin me alive . " He filled his cup , dumped a ton of sugar in it , and sipped it without even stirring it . Then he got his cigarettes from the top of the refrigerator . He lit one . Then he sat down . " Jesus . " He closed his eyes . " Ribbie lived in a little green house made of old oil drums and spackle , and he was famous for his sorrows . " Grandpa lifted one droopy eyelid . " Okay ? " " Ribbie was a trader and a peddler , making his living by buying and selling . He traveled up and down and right and left , carrying his goods on his back , or pulling them along behind him on a wagon he 'd made himself out of an old crate and some wheels he pried off a baby carriage . Everybody knew him . He was a sharp dealer , but not a crook . And because he was famous for his sorrows , he was popular at funerals . He had a real knack for getting the mourning going good . " " He didn 't even have a goldfish . Now , this Ribbie didn 't trade below Blue Street . He was kind of a nervous sort , and people liked to scare him , you know , tell him stories about creatures in the sewers and flying rat - people constructing their own city on the roofs of abandoned buildings . " " Because people are shits . Now , Ribbie bought and sold , and traded and bartered , but he also collected . And there came a time when he had walked up and down and right and left and all over what remained of the world , and nowhere could he find what he wanted . So he put all his best trade goods in his backpack , and all his traveling gear in his wagon , and all his courage in his pocket , and set out for Blue Street . " Now , getting across Blue Street wasn 't hard . The road and sidewalks were all broken up and his wagon bumped and jumped , and he stubbed his toe on a chunk of concrete , but that was it . Nothing jumped out of the shadows to eat him up . Nobody swooped down from the rooftops to tear his throat out . In fact , there weren 't any rooftops , because that whole block had been leveled . Flat , you understand ? It was pretty much a no - man 's - land . " " No monsters . Didn 't you say there didn 't have to be monsters ? So . Okay . It was a fine spring day and the sun was shining . Ribbie started to whistle , and some birds whistled back . He kept on whistling , until suddenly he realized what he thought were birds whistling back at him weren 't birds at all , but a man with a hairy , snouty face and long nails like claws who was sitting on a pile of broken bricks and crap like that , and another man with spiky white hair and no pants on who was standing next to the pile of broken bricks . They smiled and waved . Ribbie considered running away , but he had his courage in his pocket , so he patted it three times for luck , and trudged on . " " Ribbie said , ' I 'm a traveler and a trader , a dealer and a wheeler . I buy and I sell , I barter and I swap . I thought I 'd try my luck in your fair town . ' " And Mr . No - pants said , ' Town ? We are an independent republic , you asshole . ' It was like he wanted to start a fight . Ribbie felt the spit dry up in his mouth . But the other guy patted Mr . No - pants on the shoulder , and said , ' Free enterprise is good for business . ' " " You have my goddamn word . " He lit another cigarette . " So the hairy guy , he asks Ribbie what he 's got to sell . So Ribbie , what can he do ? He takes off his pack and lays out some of his wares . Mechanical pencils with extra leads . Eyeglasses . Freeze - dried chewing gum . You ever have that ? It 's nasty . A busted flashlight . Some plastic bags in pretty good shape . An ink - jet printer cartridge , vacuum - sealed . Buttons . Hand - made fly - swatters . You know . The usual . " And the hairy guy starts laughing . He slaps Mr . No - pants on the back , and says , ' What do you think , Bill ? ' Mr . No - pants starts laughing , too . ' Friend , ' says the hairy guy , ' you are going to get your ass handed to you if you go to the market lot with this junk . I wouldn 't trade my mother for your whole pack . ' " Ribbie 's eyes get real wide . ' Really ? ' he says . ' What would you trade her for ? ' And the Border Patrol stops laughing , just like that . " Grandpa snapped his fingers . " Mr . No - pants showed his teeth . Before , he was laughing with his head turned away , so Ribbie couldn 't see . Now , he wanted him to see . His mouth was crammed with maybe a hundred teeth , tiny , slender , and pointed , like a fish 's . Only his were red . The hairy guy bent his fingers , to show his nails . He could push them out and pull them back , like a cat . Now don 't you start in about cats again . " " Now , Ribbie began worrying he might be in trouble , and he hadn 't even crossed the border yet . But remember he had his courage with him , and besides , he 'd walked the world , or what was left of it , and this wasn 't the first time people had showed their teeth , or their claws . Or their guns or their machetes or their socks full of rocks . He put on his best peddler 's smile , and said , ' I 'm not joking . I 'm a serious businessman , me . What would you sell your mother for ? ' " Our Ribbie here , he kept on smiling . He took some more items out of his pack . Pipe tobacco . Ear plugs . Fishing line . A can of vanilla frosting . Eucalyptus cough drops . A ten - hole harmonica . A couple of magazines . A peg - board chess set . All of a sudden , the Border Patrol looked hungry . And Ribbie said , ' I 'll take my chances at this market lot you mentioned . If you would be so kind as to direct me there ? ' He talked like that to show he wasn 't a dumbshit . " Ribbie figured he had them , then . ' Mothers 'll do . This is good stuff here . Worth more than one . You got a mother , too , huh ? ' " Ribbie felt his courage grow . ' Nobody ? Not even all those folks watching from across the street ? ' Because across the street there were buildings still standing , and the buildings had windows , and at every window he could see three , four , five , six people crowding together , peering out , watching . ' And besides , ' he went on , ' if you kill me you can take all this stuff , sure . But that would be your one and only shot at getting your hands on quality goods like these . Back home , I have storehouses crammed to the ceiling with all manner of desirables . We do business now , maybe in a month or two I 'd swing around this way again , and we could do business again . Now you think about that . You think about that for a minute , ' Ribbie said , getting nervous again , starting to sweat , because the hairy guy with the snout had pushed his claws all the way out and from where he was standing , they looked as long and sharp as a panther 's . And the other guy , with the spiky white hair and red fish teeth , he had no pants , remember ? But he had something wrapped round and around his waist , and as Ribbie kept talking , doing his patter , this something started twitching and loosening - unwinding . Uncoiling , like a snake , and Ribbie got to worrying he 'd come all this way just to end up strangled by some mutant bastard 's six - foot dick . " It was Aunt Marcellina , home early from her Saturday afternoon out . There was no door between the kitchen and living room , just a rectangular entryway , where someone could have hung a door if they 'd wanted to . I guess Grandpa never wanted to . Aunt Marcellina stood there in the entryway , two shopping bags at her feet , peeling her gloves off . She always wore gloves when she left the house . Except when she ran out to hex the cats . " Why aren 't you dressed yet ? It 's the middle of the afternoon ! And I see you still haven 't taken the trouble to shave . " " You won 't sleep a wink tonight . Oh , lord . " She fanned the air . " You 're poisoning all of us with that vile tobacco , and you know it perfectly well . Where do you think you 're going ? " That was to me . So I had to put on my stomping boots and get the bucket and brush and dustpan from under the sink , and go down to the basement and kill green ants . " I want that bucket full , do you hear me ? " Aunt Marcellina said . " Not half full . Not three quarters full . Full . " I hate killing the green ants . It 's the worst chore ever . They 're almost as big as mice used to be in the old days , and they make this awful squeak noise when you break them . But they eat plastic , and Aunt Marcellina says it 's our duty to humanity to kill as many of them as we can . I don 't know why it always has to be my duty , though . Fortunately the stupid green ants are slow and pretty much blind . Not like the blade - birds . Aunt Marcellina won 't even let me go to school when there is a blade - bird alert , even though the school here has a special armored bus . And of course that afternoon the green ants decided to play shy . They like water and damp places . Sometimes after it rains , the sidewalks are covered with them , a roiling carpet of green . And Grandpa 's house is old and the basement is always damp . It was damp that Saturday , too . Even so , I couldn 't find more than twenty or thirty green ants to stomp . I was in the basement for hours . And then Aunt Marcellina came down . She called me lazy and said since I liked to goof off so much , I could stay down there all night and see how I liked that . If I wanted any dinner I 'd better fill that bucket at least halfway , and if I planned to sleep in my bed instead of on the gol - darned cement floor , that bucket had better be crammed up to the brim . If I turned the lights out , I knew they 'd pick that exact moment to come swarming out of the cracks they were hiding in , so I didn 't . I didn 't like it down there , but I wasn 't going to cry or anything . But even Mrs . San never made me stay in a basement all night . A closet , yeah , but never a basement . Though to be fair , that was probably because her house didn 't have a basement . The floor was cold . I had to lie on my stomach to keep the light out of my eyes . I made my arms into a pillow . I 'd slept like that plenty of times before . No problem . Only not in a basement . But it was no big deal . " Hell with her . This is still my house , goddammit . No , leave the bucket . Leave everything . Come on . " He put his hand on my shoulder and steered me up the stairs and through the hall , and up the other stairs to my bedroom . Then he unlaced my big boots and pulled them off . He told me to never mind my pajamas and just get under the covers . " Shit , kid , it 's just a story . You can finish it any way you want . Action . Ribbie pulls out a gun and blasts the ever - loving guts out of all and sundry . Romance . Ribbie finds the love of his life on Blue Street , and they settle down there and live happily ever after . Surprise ending . Ribbie throws off his coat , sprouts wings , and flies off into the morning sky . Or he grows roots and turns into a man - tree . Use your imagination . " " Christ almighty . " Grandpa sat down on my bed . He sighed . He rubbed his eyes . They looked red , and droopier than ever . Aunt Marcellina was probably right about the coffee keeping him up . " And here I was thinking I 'd done my time on the bedtime story brigade . Though to tell you the truth , I wasn 't any great shakes at it the first time around . Fact is , I wasn 't any great shakes at much . So . " " I never said rat face . I said hairy , with a snout . Okay , I remember now . The Border Patrol . They saw some of the things old Ribbie carried with him to trade and sell , and their eyes got hungry . Ribbie got a little nervous , sure , but he was a dealer and a wheeler and a glib - tongued son of a bitch , so - " " Sure , sure . But Ribbie had been in plenty of tight spots before . Kid , if you have nightmares , I swear I 'm never gonna tell you a Blue Street story again . " " Ri - ight . Well , anyway . So he said , Ribbie said , ' You can take my trade goods , you can slice me and dice me and boil me for dinner , but then you 'll never get any more , and I 've got shitloads of good stuff back home , I 've got storehouses and safehouses and wheelhouses crammed full of all kinds of desirable amenities , and you 'll never see a scrap or a thread of them if you mess with me now . ' " So the hairy - faced guy , he thought about that , and he pulled his claws back . His fingers looked almost normal again . And the white - haired guy , he closed his mouth . ' How much for the lot ? ' asked the hairy guy . " Now , Ribbie put his hand on his chin and made like he was thinking real hard . He thought so long and hard the Border Patrol started sweating a little themselves , glancing at each other out of the sides of their eyes , you know . Because the more they looked at his trade goods , the hungrier they got . Finally Ribbie nodded , like he 'd come to a decision , and said , ' Two mothers . Can 't take any less . ' " And Ribbie jerked his chin at the people all crowded at their windows , and said , ' I bet if I took my merchandise over to your market lot , I could get three or four . Three , four , easy . Listen , you hicks , over at Tunbridge , you can get a mother for half a bolt of homespun and one rusty scissor blade . Independent republic , my ass . You dumbfucks haven 't even got your basic running water back yet . And what about electricity ? Still with the candles and the floating - wick lamps made out of old soap dishes ? ' " Don 't say pissed off . Oh , Ribbie knew what he was doing . Putting them on the defensive , see . Calling them poor , you get it ? So then they had to prove they weren 't . Like when I tell Marcellina she can 't cook beans for shit , so then she makes chili . You follow ? " " Marcellina can go take a flying jump . She 's one to talk . At least I 'm not paranoid about cats . Any case , there 's some things you 'd be a fool not to be scared of . " " I 'll tell you that story when you 're a little older . Anyway . Ribbie 's poking their buttons , you follow me ? He says , ' Because maybe I 'd like to do business with you again , I 'm willing to take a loss , this one time . Two mothers , and you get the lot . But you know , I 'm a busy man . People to see , places to go . So make up your minds , or give me a pass to the market lot . ' " Ribbie goes , ' That 's my personal traveling gear . Nothing special . Just a tent and some pots , and a sleeping bag , and some tarps , and water purification pills , and pemmican . What do you need that crap for ? ' " So Ribbie goes , ' You gonna play it like that , I need to see these mothers first . I don 't want any grandmothers , you know , or spinster second cousins . Don 't you be trying to pull a fast one , now . ' And the Border Patrol , they look at each other , and the hairy guy gives a little nod . Mr . No - pants nods back , then ambles off , hops over the barricade and into the warren of streets that are still more or less intact . " Hairy - face says , ' Two genuine mothers , guaranteed . Shit , man , they 're mine and Bill 's . You 're getting a real bargain . Neither one 's past sixty . They 're good for a lot of years yet . Now get your stuff off the wagon . ' " Yep . So Ribbie unloads his wagon , and because he 's a nice guy , he tells the old ladies they can sit in the wagon and he 'll pull them to their new home . The old ladies say , " Wait until we 're clear of the rubble at least , you numbnuts , otherwise you 'll shake and rattle our bones to bits , " and Ribbie concedes they have a point there . So he takes the rope from No - pants , and grabs the handle of the wagon in his other hand . He can 't wave goodbye , but he gives the Border Patrol a nod and a big smile , which neither of them really notices since they 've already started squabbling over the flashlight and the vanilla frosting and the paper clips , and he nods at all the spectators pressed against the windows , and when he gets far enough away that he can be sure Hairy - face and No - pants can 't hear him , Ribbie laughs and laughs , because of course he got exactly what he wanted . " Grandpa patted my knee . " You think you can go to sleep now , kid ? " " Trying to find a good one . Oh , I think when he started - and Ribbie was only a youngster when he started - he was trying to find the best one . But by the time he made his way over what remained of the world and finally down to Blue Street , he 'd figured out that a good one was good enough . Good enough for him , you understand ? Because everyone 's different , and what 's good enough for one person isn 't exactly right for the next . " " Oh , he kept them , the ones that wanted to stay . Put them to work , if they wanted to be useful . Let them go , if they wanted . Every year he tried out five , six , seven mothers . More in a good year . You see , the thing about Ribbie was that he was a stubborn bastard . Never gave up . He was disappointed over and over again , naturally , but he kept telling himself that one day he 'd find the mother that was good enough for him . So he kept trying . " Grandpa reached to turn off the light . " Time to go to sleep now , kid . " " I don 't know . All I can tell you is that he never gave up looking . " Grandpa stood up , and switched my light off , and left . The next day I figured Aunt Marcellina would really let me have it , but she didn 't say a word to me . I went outside to play right after breakfast , but I didn 't really go out to play . I went to look at the homes in the neighborhood . The little ones and the big ones and the middle - sized ones . The wooden ones and the stone ones and the ones made out of oil drums , and the ones made out of crates and tarps . The ones with lots of people inside , and the ones with only one . The ones with kids and the ones without . The ones with mothers and the ones without . I didn 't want to get lost , so I kept swinging back toward Grandpa 's house to keep my bearings . I saw Aunt Marcellina standing at a window a couple of times , and then I saw her standing at the front door . Grandpa must 've been just inside , because she turned and asked , loudly , " Whatever is that child doing ? " " I 'll thank you not to take that tone with me . You 're a disgusting old man . You should be ashamed of yourself . No , I won 't come inside . You look like a bum , and you smell worse . I don 't care if it is your house . There is such a thing as propriety . Wandering around half the night , not letting decent people sleep - " It was a fine spring day . The sun was shining . Some of the neighbors smiled at me . Some of them narrowed their eyes and wrinkled up their noses . I didn 't care . None of the homes I saw were good enough , but that didn 't matter . It was only my first day of looking . Grandpa said Ribbie looked for years , and never gave up . I spied some cats on the steps of an old , broken down wooden house . I didn 't figure anybody lived inside that house . The windows were all busted out and a part of the roof had collapsed . The cats were sitting placidly on the rotten , splintery steps . One was gray , one was black - and - white , and one was mostly white with a little orange . Their front paws all in a row , their tails wrapped neatly around their bodies , they looked like they were waiting . The way cats , especially in groups , always seem to be waiting for something . Serene and patient . As I came closer , the gray cat blinked . The mostly white one with a little bit of orange turned its head slightly . The black - and - white one didn 't move at all . " Hello , " I said . I thought , If Aunt Marcellina could see me now , she would kill me . " I have a question , if that 's all right . " Oh , she would really kill me . She 'd kill me dead . " I 'm searching for a good home . A good enough home . To tell you the truth , I only started today . I 'm pretty sure that home isn 't here , though . Can you tell me where I should look ? " I couldn 't help it . I started grinning , and jumping up and down . I must 've looked like an idiot , but I didn 't care . They said yes ! Well , the little - bit orange cat did , and that was good enough . " One more , one more ! " The gray cat hissed . The little - bit - orange one said , " Oh , play fair . Two will get you three . That 's the rule . " The gray cat looked disgusted , and twitched its whiskers . And the black - and - white cat said , " Walk north on this street until you get to the end of the block , then turn left . You will see a yellow house , and a blue house , then some debris , and then two more blue houses . Do not go to the first blue house . Do not go to the second blue house . Go to the third blue house . The man who lives there has got at least a dozen toothbrushes . You 'll have to trade him your socks , though . " When I got home , Aunt Marcellina yelled at me for staying out so long . Then she yelled at me because I 'd lost my socks . Then she sent me to the basement again to stomp green ants . There were plenty of them this time , so I filled the bucket pretty quick . When I came upstairs , Grandpa was in the kitchen , smoking . Aunt Marcellina was in her room , doing something . It involved banging . Maybe she was trying to fix her dresser drawers again . " That 's okay , " I said . " I want you to have it anyway . " I slid the toothbrush across the table . He put his cigarette down on a rusty old jar lid he was using for an ashtray . I guess Aunt Marcellina had pitched a fit about messing up the saucers again . Grandpa raised his eyebrows . We heard Aunt Marcellina coming down the stairs . Grandpa made the toothbrush disappear up his sleeve . He winked at me . I nodded . When Aunt Marcellina appeared in the entryway of the kitchen , she immediately yelled at me to go and wash . " Yes , ma ' am . " She gave me a funny look . I knew it was because I was smiling . Grandpa was smiling , too . Aunt Marcellina didn 't know what to make of the pair of us . " I don 't know what to make of the pair of you , " she said . Grandpa started laughing , but I was already out of the kitchen by then , so I didn 't get to see Aunt Marcellina 's expression . I heard her yelling , though , even after I had shut the bathroom door . I didn 't care . She could yell all she wanted . I didn 't stop smiling , and Grandpa didn 't stop laughing , either . Tomorrow , after school , I 'd look again . And the next day . And the next . For years , if I had to . Cats didn 't lie . Everybody knew that . If I was stubborn like Ribbie , and never quit trying , I would find what I wanted . Not even ten Aunt Marcellinas could change that . I washed my hands . I washed my face . I brushed my teeth , just for the hell of it . Then I started to whistle . Two seconds later , Aunt Marcellina started yelling . She must 've been standing at the bottom of the steps . Must 've run there . She could move real fast for an old lady . Her voice came through the bathroom door loud and clear . What did I think I was doing , making such a racket ? |
" I 'm walking through a meadow in the moonlight . There 's a full moon and the night insects are in full voice . I 'm at peace , content , then I look down to see that my hand is being held by a hand whose fingers are tipped with sharp , pointed nails . I 'm not afraid . In fact , I feel safe and loved . I raise my eyes to his face - I know it is a man - and see that he has , at once , the most terrible but most beautiful countenance that I have ever seen . He has the face of a lion . He smiles down at me with lovely , human blue eyes and I know that he loves me . His smile takes my breath away . We walk into a heavy fog , and as it dissipates , we are now in the sun and Elliot is holding my hand . ' No ! ' I shout and I try to pull free to find the other man . Looking around wildly , I find him on a cliff looking down at me with sad eyes , blood running down his chest . And I know that his heart is breaking because of me . Frantically , I try to break loose and go to him , but Elliot won 't let me go . He says , ' You belong to me now , not to him any more . ' As he leads me away , I keep looking back , desperately , at the other one . I want to call out to him , but his name won 't come to me . I wake sobbing into my pillow . " Catherine dabbed a lacy handkerchief to the corners of her eyes and resettled herself in the plush leather chair opposite her psychiatrist 's desk . She looked at Dr . Greenberg almost defiantly . " I think it has something to do with my past life . " Squinting against the bright autumn sun that glinted off her gold - rimmed glasses , Dr . Greenberg said , " Maybe , but the lion - headed man seems more mythic than anything else . We need to find out what he stands for . " She rose and crossed the office to adjust the drapes . Brushing a strand of grey hair out of her eyes , Dr . Greenberg gracefully slid into her leather swivel - chair . " There 's more to it than that . I could see your distress when you recounted the dream . Tell me . " " Nope , " The older woman grinned at her from behind the gleaming mahogany desk . The only ornamentation on the desktop was a silver tray with a pitcher of ice water and two crystal glasses . Cathy had held these feelings in for so long that it was hard for her to find the words . Finally , the words coalesced and came tumbling out , " I feel . . . as if I 've lost my most priceless treasure , as if I 've lost my center , lost the best part of me . There 's just this terrible sense of loss , " she rushed on to keep from sobbing even though tears slid down her cheeks . " I 'm sorry , Cathy , but I had to know the depth of your distress , " Dr . Greenberg said , compassion in her deep brown eyes . Handing the upset young woman a half - glass of water , she sat back in her desk chair , tapping her gold pen on the desk . She waited patiently for the young woman to finish her drink . Looking around the luxuriously appointed office with its comforting blues and greens and bright yellow , Catherine noted that the plants needed water , making her think that she was like the plants , she needed the water of her memories . She drew a deep breath , afraid to ask the question that was uppermost in her mind . Finally she nodded and then asked , " Hannah , do you think that I will ever regain my memory ? " Her voice and demeanor were sad and wistful . " No . " Catherine slumped in resignation . " He 's only interested in his buildings . " " You need to tell him , Cathy , " Hannah said . " That may be the basis of your dreams : the need for love and not getting it . " Bitterly shrugging her shoulders , Catherine said , " I gave up on that long ago . The dreams are too recent to have the love , or lack of it , from Elliot to have any relevance . " Rising from her chair , she began to pace , not remembering that she had picked up the habit from the man she loved and had forgotten . " Well , wouldn 't you be ? I always thought that when you loved and married someone , you cared enough about that someone to listen to them , to want to be with them , to put their best interest before your own , " the young woman said , still pacing the room . She flopped back into her chair , shaking her head . " But to Elliot I 'm just someone to show off , to use my name to further his career . He even encouraged me to keep the Chandler name . " " If I can ever get him alone . " Catherine 's shoulders bowed in depression . " I just know there is someone out there who will care for and love me as I love them . " Catherine raised her head sharply . " I - I 'm not sure , but I 'm almost certain . He must be someone I 've forgotten . " The more she thought about it the more depressed she felt . " Why can 't I remember ? " she wailed . " I want to so much . " " It 's possible that you 're pressing too hard . Relax . When everything gets to be too much for you go for a walk , go to the gym , anything to keep your mind easy and relaxed . " Hannah Greenberg , psychiatrist and friend , watched an unhappy Catherine Chandler leave her office . " Find your lost past , Cathy . If you don 't , I hate to think what will happen to you , " the psychiatrist softly uttered as the door swung shut . She flipped on the intercom , " Send in my next appointment , Sally . Thanks . " It was such a beautiful day , and she had nothing to do but return to Elliot 's big empty mansion . She had never quite felt that it was really her home . She felt uncomfortable , out of place there . Only her own room was truly hers . She had adamantly refused to allow the decorator to do her room ( as he put it ) . The rest of the house was coldly , beautifully fashionable . She preferred cooler , softer colors , and her room was always softly lighted , sometimes only with candles . Shuddering at the thought of going back to the mansion , she cast her mind around , seeking for something else to do . It was too late for lunch with Jenny , anyway Elliot didn 't approve of her - she was no one of consequence - and the museum held no interest for her today nor did shopping the fashionable and expensive shops where Elliot had opened charge accounts for her . A walk in the park . Yes , that was what she needed : a chance to see the color change of the trees as she strolled beneath them . The solitude and quiet of the park in certain spots would be restful to her disquiet soul . Satisfied with her decision , she turned her steps toward Central Park . Colorful many - hued leaves glowed in the sparkling afternoon sun . This corner of the park was deserted and quiet , and she found a solitary bench where she gratefully sat down . Why in the world did she take a long walk in high heels ? As she removed her shoes and was massaging her aching feet , she glanced around this secluded glade . A large drainage tube caught her attention . Oddly , it seemed familiar . Deciding to investigate , she padded over to the tube , holding her shoes in her hand . The darkness at the end of the huge pipe - it was large enough for her to walk upright in it - beckoned to her . Looking around to see if she was alone , she entered the twilight . Why the need for secrecy she wondered . There was the usual debris on the floor with a liberal sprinkling of dried leaves and a small stream of water in the middle that she carefully avoided . This is crazy , she thought . Who knows what is hiding " You ! It 's you ! " Vincent stepped back , clutching at his heart . Why hadn 't he ignored the beckoning that brought him here ? He turned to bolt back into the tunnels , but she grabbed his cloak as it flared out . " No ! Don 't go ! " Before he pulled the hood of his cloak closer to cover his face , Catherine saw the love blazing in his eyes - she would recognize that look anywhere - and another emotion burning as brightly . That other emotion . . . what was it ? Pain ? Yes , that was it . Pain , great pain . Desperately hanging onto his cloak , she pleaded with the man from her dreams . " Don 't go . Stay . " For despite the way he looked , she knew he was a man . He shuddered as she touched his arm , and she quickly drew her hand back , afraid that she had hurt him somehow . " Who are you ? " she asked , breathless with excitement . This man was the key to unlocking her memory . " No one that you should know , " he rasped . The sound of his voice sent a thrill through her . It was rough but mellow , and she knew it intimately to the depths of her soul . " I know you , " she whispered . And a name popped into her mind . " Vincent . " He shook his head . " I must leave , " he said and quickly pulled his cloak from her hands . As it slipped from her hands , she grabbed his hand . He quivered like a wild bird checked in flight . Examining his hand , turning it over , running her fingers over the soft fur that covered the back , she said , " This is a beautiful hand . " " Yes , " he answered painfully . " Leave now , Catherine , before you learn too much . Lead the life that you were meant to have with Elliot . " Taking his hand back , he bolted through the open portal and quickly closed it . Later that evening Hannah had a visitor . Stepping out on her veranda , she greeted the large , dark shape of a man , " Vincent . " He nodded a greeting . " How are Father and the others ? " she inquired . " I 'm sorry that I haven 't been down for a while . " Settling into one of the deck chairs , she waved him into the other . " Yes , it certainly does . " Intently , he sat forward , resting his elbows on his knees . " How is she , Hannah ? " Now they came to the crux of his visit . " Not good , Vincent . She 's struggling . . . very unhappy . " Hannah glanced sharply at him . " Can 't you feel the unhappiness ? I thought there was a bond between you two . " Bowing his head , he twisted his hands together until the fingers were interlocked . " There is . But I could not bear to feel her with another man , " he confessed then raised his eyes to her . " So I muted it until I could only feel deeply intense feelings such as when she is in danger . It is the only way I can do this and survive . " Rising , he paced to the edge of her veranda , looking far into the depths of the night . He shrugged his shoulders slightly . His words drifted back to her from over his shoulder . " It 's possible . Anything is possible with Catherine . " He turned back to his longtime friend . " She came to the Central Park threshold today . " " I have taken the right because I love her . " Hannah climbed easily to her feet and stopped him with a hand on his arm . Staring into his pain - filled eyes , she asked , " Have you ever thought that you might be condemning her to a life of pain and frustration ? " " What misery ? " He whirled around to confront her , afraid for the woman he loved . " He doesn 't hurt her , does he ? " he demanded . " There are many kinds of hurt , Vincent . I can 't tell you any more than that . You know that . Just believe me when I say that if she doesn 't regain her memory , I don 't know what will happen to her . But I do know this ; it won 't be pleasant . " " Cathy , I just don 't understand you . I give you everything you want . I love you . Why can 't you be satisfied with that ? " Elliot leaned back , comfortable in his custom - made lounge chair . " What more do you want ? " Feeling that this whole conversation was going nowhere , Catherine held her hands up , fingers splayed in frustration . " I feel so useless . I 'm used to working . I want to go back to work . I want to do something useful . " She began to pace back and forth in front of the huge fireplace that covered one wall of Elliot 's den . Staring into the burning fire , she turned around when Elliot spoke . " Do all the volunteer work you want ; see your friends , the right kind , of course ; shop ; redo the house , I know you hate the way it is , but no wife of mine is going to work with the dregs of society . I know you . You 'd want to represent the poor and downtrodden . " " But others do . We will be the most socially correct couple in the city . That 's final ! I won 't discuss it again . " Snapping the New York Times financial section open , he buried his nose in the paper , effectively dismissing her . Disappointed because she knew that he would never agree with her point of view , she retreated to her room , needing the serenity she found there . Catherine threw herself into her volunteer work , but no matter how much she did nothing filled the aching void in her heart . Time and again she returned to the drainage culvert , but Vincent never returned . It was as if he knew she was there and deliberately stayed away . Affairs in the Burch household were no better than when she had last had a serious talk with him . Her sessions with Hannah Greenberg were the only bright spots in her life . She was able to vent her frustrations . She had told her about the accidental meeting with the lionman of her dream , had told her of her repeated visits to the culvert in the hope of seeing him again , and of her almost certain feeling that he held the key to her past , of her determination to see him again . Hannah neither encouraged nor discouraged her , encouraged herself by the take - charge attitude that she had always attributed to Catherine Chandler and had waited impatiently to see it emerge . Maybe now she would be an active participant in her own rehabilitation . After a month of repeated disappointments at the entrance inside the drainage culvert , Catherine stood in front of the round door that she knew led to Vincent . This time she was not to be denied . She would stand there until something happened . What ? She had no idea . Backing up , she leaned against the opposite curved wall of the tube . Her eyes wandered all over the interior of the large pipe , coming to rest on the 80 " x 36 " grill door next to a round opening . Slowly she straightened and moved toward it . She was certain that there was something about it that would help her in her quest . Tentatively she pulled on it . It easily swung open , revealing several rows of levers and buttons . From somewhere deep inside her , she pulled up the combination and flicked down the lever in the fourth row , third to the right . With a grating noise , the metal door rolled into the right wall and the grill that covered it swung loose . Elated , she entered , pulled the grill closed , and then triggered the lever that she found high on the right wall that closed the door . Letting her feet take her wherever they would , she started down the main tunnel . The pipes chattered , seeming to say something . Then the tapping changed , and she almost recognized it . Eventually , she found her way to a large cavern where a towe " Catherine ? " He loomed uncertainly over her . " Vincent . " Dreamily she gazed up at him . She had been almost certain that he would come . " I just had to come . I 've tried staying away , but I kept coming back and finally I remembered how to open the portal . " She turned from him to look out over the falls . Sighing deeply , she said quietly , " I feel as if I 'm home . " " You have a life Above , a husband , a home , responsibilities . Those you love . " Although his heart was breaking , he tried to convince her to return Above . He trembled as she got to her feet and moved beside him , laying her hand on his arm . Looking up into his dark , azure eyes , she smiled sadly . " I loved you . . . once , " she said softly . " I knew it . " Her smile lit the entire cavern . " That 's why I feel so safe with you in my dreams . " As the memories flooded through her , she threw herself into his arms , burying her face in his chest . " Oh god , Vincent , I remember . What have I done ? " The tears that she had held back overflowed , streaming down her cheeks . " You were a different person , Catherine . " She leaned into his embrace as he ran his hands up and down her back , caressing her gently . Nothing was as strong as his gentleness or as gentle as his strength . Pulling back to meet his loving blue eyes , a cloud passed over her happiness . " How could I have forgotten you ? You are my life , my heart . " Her weeping intensified until she was sobbing uncontrollably , dampening the front of his vest . Suddenly she stiffened . " You died ! I saw them kill you , and I knew it was all my fault . Once again I had put us in a dangerous situation . Elliot told me that they found me wandering in a daze , mumbling , ' He 's dead . I killed him . ' When I came to the next morning , I didn 't remember anything . And since there was no body , they thought I 'd had a hallucination brought on by whatever stress I was under . But I know why I didn 't remember . I couldn 't face a life without you . It was easier to forget . Oh , forgive me for being such a coward . " She began to weep anew . " There is nothing to forgive , Catherine , " he said , trying to calm her . " The men who tried to kill me thought that they had succeeded and fled the scene . I was wounded , but when I woke up , you were gone , nowhere to be found . It wasn 't until the next week that we learned what had happened to you . " " And by that time everyone knew I was Catherine Chandler , and Elliot had spirited me away to a convalescent hospital that he had heavily endowed . Oh Vincent , he was so kind and gentle then and treated me with such solicitousness and consideration that I began to depend on him . He even helped me to learn of my past life and find my friends . And soon he had talked me into marrying him , saying that he didn 't care if I ever remembered him or myself . That we would start a new life , just the two of us . At the time it seemed like a good idea , and I thought that I was in love with him . But since then things have changed between us . His kind of love does not fulfill me , even though he keeps assuring me that he loves me . But then he treats me as if I 'm a prized possession , not his wife . His buildings have become more important to him than me . And now that I have my memory back , I don 't know if I can continue with this marriage . " She looked up at him . " What am I to do ? " she asked , her voice quivering . " I don 't know if I can . I don 't love him . " Reaching up , she stroked his cheek , her love shining in her eyes . " I love you . " " You will find the courage when you need it , Catherine . It is there . . . in you . " Unable to let him see the pain in her eyes , she avoided his and shook her head . " Peter never said a word to me about you . Why ? " " But I 'm not happy , " she replied as he placed a finger beneath her chin , raising her eyes to his . Desperately , she pulled a startled Vincent 's mouth to her own and kissed him passionately . When he started to pull away , she murmured , " No , no , " as she held him tighter . " No , he 's on a business trip , " she said bitterly . He sensed that there was much more to this business trip than just business . " And the servants have the night off , " she added . Scooping her into his arms , he carried her to a nearby unused chamber . Gently , he deposited her on the bed , and then lit several candles . She glowed in the candlelight after he had undressed her , and when he went to extinguish the candles , she stopped him . Slowly and gently , she undressed him , drinking in the beauty that she disclosed . She pulled him down to lie beside her . Tenderly , they explored each other , learning every hill and valley of their beloved , and when he finally entered her and she took him in , they realized that at last they were home where they belonged . A night of love ensued that would have to last them for a lifetime . Vincent , with his time sense , awoke with the dawn . Rising up on an elbow , he gazed longingly at the woman asleep at his side . She was spooned against him as if she wanted to sink into his body and become an integral part of him . Oh , how he hated to wake her , but it was time for her to return to her life Above . He leaned down and tenderly kissed her . " Catherine , it is time . " Seven weary , wretched months followed : months in which he had berated himself for sending Catherine back to a sterile and unhappy life . True to her word , she had not returned . And he was proud of her even as he wished that she had come back . Now that her memory had returned , he found it harder to distance himself from the bond . As strange as it seemed , she was not unhappy . At one time there had been an intense burst of joy that filled him with elation , although he didn 't know why . He only knew that she was ecstatic and filled with contentment . Since that time her life had settled down into a pattern of well - being and tranquillity . If she had at last found some kind of harmony in her life with Elliot , Vincent could do nothing more than wish her every happiness that she deserved . But that didn 't mean that he didn 't rue the day he had sent her back . If he had known the extent of his pain at her return to the world Above , he doubted if he could have done it . In the world above Catherine was in a quandary . She was pregnant , and she wasn 't sure if the father was Elliot or Vincent . The night before he had left on his so - called business trip Elliot had come to her bed and exercised his rights as her husband . It was the first time in six months that he had sought her out , and he had performed his duty almost without emotion . The next day was the day she had found her lost life and spent the night in the arms of the man she loved above all others . Elliot was ecstatic when she told him about the baby and arranged for the most expensive and prominent gynecologist and obstetrician to attend her . She had wanted to go to her own doctor , Peter Alcott , but Elliot would have none of that . Peter would have been unavailable in any event ; he was in Europe on a sabbatical . So , she endured for the term of the pregnancy , knowing that if it was Elliot 's child that she would be trapped in a loveless marriage forever . If it was Vincent 's , then there was a slight possibility of a future for them . Pain ! Waves of intermittent , growing discomfort woke him . They were coming from Catherine , and he was powerless to come to her rescue this time . He had read in the papers that Elliot had just returned from a successful business trip overseas . He would be there to care for her . But why wasn 't he doing anything to ease her pain ? Suddenly , after a night of increasingly debilitating distress , there was one massive burst of agony , and he was left , gasping and sweaty , lying exhausted on his bed . He passed a trembling hand over his damp forehead . At last , it was over , and frightened , he probed the bond . Relief flooded through him as he realized that she was still alive . It couldn 't have been life threatening because he felt her intense joy and satisfaction , and it seemed to have something to do with him . But strangely , he felt an ill - defined , nebulous connection to someone else . Who ? he wondered . And why now ? Rising , he grabbed a towel and a change of clothing , and hurried to the bathing pools . He didn 't want Father to see him this way ; he had no explanation for his condition . Two weeks later a letter was brought to him by one of the Helpers . The scent of the paper told him it was from Catherine . Settling into the chair beside his writing desk , he slit the envelope open with a sharp thumbnail , took out a sheet of paper , and read : How wonderful it is to at last write those words . I miss you so . I relive our last night together over and over in my dreams . It is never enough , but it will have to do until we meet again . I have something to tell you that is wonderful and miraculous . You have a son . Yes , my love , you are a father . That was the pain that he felt . She had given birth to her - their son if she is right - on the terrible night that he had wrestled with her pain , unable to go to her . Elation and amazement flooded through him . But how could she be sure ; she was married to Elliot with all his attendant rights as her husband . He continued to read , his heart bursting with wonder and joy . The night before I found you Elliot had come to my bed demanding his conjugal rights . Naturally , the short time between that and our last night and the birth made me think that he was Elliot 's son , but when I saw his deep blue eyes , so like yours , and his awareness of all around him , I knew him to be yours . He is so beautiful , Vincent . Perfect in every way . You have given me the most precious gift I could have ever wanted . I only wish you could be beside me during the coming years . I will bring him to you when I can . He had a son . That was the odd connection he had been felling for so long . His son ! The wonder of it was almost more than he could comprehend . He , who had never even thought to have the love of a woman , was the father of a son , and from what Catherine had written , a perfect son . He could hardly wait for her to bring the child to the tunnels , but he had assisted in the birthing of many children and knew that it took the mothers time to recuperate . He would wait but not patiently . He had to share this wondrous news with the man closest to his heart . " Father , I have received a letter from Catherine . " He took the small metal steps in one bound . Father glanced up at him from the pages of his book and thought how he hadn 't seen that excited and elated look in his sons eyes for several years . Puzzled , he asked , " I thought that she didn 't remember us . " He shook his head . Would it all begin all over , the danger , the injuries , the mental distress of five years ago ? Vincent had been very unhappy for these last few years , but he had been safe . " Her memory returned about nine months ago . She sought me out and found her way to the tunnels . We met in the Triple Falls Cavern and she remembered everything . Father , " he ducked his head , shyly , " we . . . uh . . . loved . And she has written to tell me that I am a father . I have a son . " Father slumped back in his chair and read the words that finally convinced him that his son was a man . Smiling through his tears , he looked up into the shining face of his adopted son . " Well , " he said with feigned heartiness , " it looks like I 'm a grandfather , all right . " Now the danger and madness would start again for Vincent , and Father sighed heavily , " I suppose you 'll start going Above now . " The younger man couldn 't understand why Father was not happy for him . " No , Father , I won 't . Catherine has her responsibilities and I have mine . Can 't you be happy for me , for us ? Must you always deflect my joy ? " The next day an excited and nervous man was waiting for Catherine in the tunnel that led to Central Park . Just before he had retired the previous night , Kipper had brought him a note from Catherine , telling him that she would bring their son to the tunnels tomorrow . Feeling her approach , he hurried to the park threshold and opened the door . Catherine dashed in windblown , breathless and beautiful , holding a small bundle pressed against her breast . They rushed into each others ' arms . " I didn 't think that I would ever get away from the bodyguards that Elliot has assigned to protect his son , " she said disdainfully . " They are like leeches . And I don 't want our son to be raised like a prince , kept away from ordinary people . I can understand Elliot 's fear of retaliation through his family , but this is ridiculous . " She placed the baby in Vincent 's arms . Staring down into the bright , intelligent eyes of his son , he was overcome with emotion . To have a child of his own was a miracle to him . Watching him as he examined the child and held him close brought Catherine an intense joy that made her want to weep . " He did , but I had the doctor put the names I wanted on the birth certificate . Elliot was livid , but if he ever has a child , he can name it Elliot , Jr , " she stated defiantly . " And you have a right to see your child as often as possible and I will see to it . " Jacob was laughing and cooing as if he knew that the man who held him was special to him . " He looks like you , Catherine , " Vincent said . The child had his blue eyes and golden hair but the square jaw conveyed a sense of determination akin to that of his mother . " That 's what everyone says , but he has your eyes . That 's what assured me that he was your son . " " I have no one , " she stated flatly , " least of all Elliot . He loves me in his own way , I suppose , but he loves his buildings more . He does not care what I do as long as it causes him no problems . " " We will survive this , Catherine . We will endure . " Returning Jacob to her , he said , " Take care of him and yourself , please . I need to know you are safe . " " Don 't worry , love , we are well protected . I 'll take good care of him . " Standing on tiptoe , she reached up and kissed him . When he opened his eyes , she was gone . He smiled dreamily then returned to his underground home . Through the following years , Catherine kept her promise . She sent photographs , arranged meetings where he could see the child , took Jacob to the concerts in the park and did anything that would give Vincent the chance to see his son even if it was from a distance . During this time , Catherine and Elliot slowly drifted further apart , only Jacob kept them together . One night when Jacob was only three - years - old , Vincent made his way to the Burch mansion . Something was wrong with Catherine , and she was trying to hide it from him . Climbing through the window , he found her lying on the bed , weeping silently into a lace pillow . " Catherine ? What is it ? I felt you trying to hide something from me . " She launched her small body into the safety of his arms , wailing , " Oh Vincent , I 've failed you . I 've lost Jacob . " She burrowed into his embrace , sobbing . " Jacob 's been kidnapped , and they want two million dollars ransom . And Elliot doesn 't have that much loose money . All his money is tied up in his construction projects . " " Don 't worry ; we will find him . You are not alone in this ; I am with you . I 'll mobilize the helpers and the street people may be able to tell us something . " " If only there was a bond between you and Jacob . " She looked up at him , red - eyed from weeping . " There is , but it 's not strong enough yet to tell me where he is . I 'm sorry , Catherine , but I will find him . I promise . " True to his word , Vincent found the child . Elliot received a phone call from Catherine 's physician and friend , Peter Alcott , who related a fantastic story to him . The child had been brought to his house by an unknown man who said he had been told to bring the boy there . The stranger then hurriedly left , refusing to reveal his name . Peter had immediately called Burch . Catherine refused to stay home and went with Elliot to bring her son safely home . Surprisingly , the child was not traumatized and was sitting at Peter 's table having milk and cookies . " Hi , Mommy , " he chirruped around a chocolate chip cookie . Swallowing his bite , he added , " Look , Mommy , Unca Peter has my favortest cookie . " He held one out to her . " Oh baby , " Catherine cried as she swept him into her arms . " I was so scared . " Falling into the chair that she had snatched Jacob from , she rocked him back and forth . " I 'm sure he wasn 't . " Catherine could see that Jacob was fighting to stay awake . Smothering a yawn , he laid his head on his mother 's shoulder . In a corner Elliot was earnestly questioning Peter who told him what little he knew , repeating what he had related to him over the phone . His doorbell had rung , and when he answered it , he found Jacob and a man dressed as the cowardly lion standing on his doorstep . When he attempted to discover who the man was , he was told that the stranger was only repaying a debt that he had long owed to Catherine Chandler and then the costumed man had swiftly disappeared into the night . Five minutes later , Peter was ushering them out the door . Closing it after a tearful Catherine had thanked him for at least the fifth time , he leaned unsteadily against the door frame . " It 's safe now , Vincent . " Turning the fire on under the tea kettle , Peter stated firmly , " Well , tea won 't do it for me , " and went into his den to get something a little stronger to settle his nerves . When he returned , Vincent was pouring steaming water into a cup with a tea bag in it . " Sorry , I don 't have any loose tea , but I rarely have the time to brew a pot of tea . " Catherine had put her sleepy child to bed after he had told her and Elliot all that he knew . Later they learned that the kidnapper had forged a note allowing him to take Jacob from preschool : there had been an emergency in the family . Jacob said that he had been taken to an old run - down hotel and kept there . The man kept calling the desk to find out if there were any messages for him . Elliot thought that must have been during the time that he had received the threat about repaying his loan or finding his son floating in the East River . Jacob then told them how on the next day a group of strange people had burst in and rescued him . They had knocked the kidnapper unconscious and took Jacob to the basement where the lionman was waiting . He had spent an entertaining time with the lionman until it was dark and then he had taken him to Unca Peter 's . The child seemed to look upon it as an adventure , something he had to tell the kids in school the next day . After kissing her son and tucking him in for the night , Catherine followed Elliot to his den . Closing the door so her son couldn 't hear them , she rounded on Elliot . " See ! I told you . If you treat these people right , they will repay you somehow . We wouldn 't have Jacob if not for them . " " No , imprudent maybe but not illegal . I 've borrowed some money from some shady people , and I 've been unable to pay them back . I 'm broke , Catherine . I can 't borrow any more legally . " When his mother had asked him what he wanted for his birthday , he told her his greatest wish was to meet the lionman again . He dreamed of him all the time and wouldn 't be satisfied until he could see him once more . And if anyone could find him , he knew it was his mother . Before she could put the plan she had devised into action , she overheard Elliot making arrangements to send Jacob to a military school . Catherine immediately thought of a safer place than the school . " I forbid it , Elliot . He 's too young ; he 's only six , for god 's sake . You 're not sending Jacob away . " " It 's done , Cathy . He leaves in a week . " Elliot turned to the drafting table , dismissing her concerns . He would do what he deemed necessary for his son . As there was only one place where Jacob would be safe , Catherine laid her plans accordingly . The next day Elliot left on a business trip and would be gone for two days . This gave her time to put her ideas into action , and while Jacob was safely at school , she took all the jewelry that Elliot had given her to a jeweler for appraisal , thinking to sell them , only to find out that they were all paste . Elliot had replaced the real jewels with artificial gems . He must have forgotten to have the real gems restored , or more likely , he never had the money . Mentally shrugging her shoulders at the loss , she closed out what remained of her savings and checking accounts , emptied her safe deposit box where she kept her mother 's jewelry . Free of all monetary encumbrances , she went home to wait until it was time to pick up Jacob from school . While waiting , she wrote several letters , one each to Jenny , Nancy , and Joe , explaining why she was dropping out of sight . The letter to Elliot was the hardest to write . She had to discourage him from searching for her and Jacob ; he might discover the tunnels . Much to Jacob 's amazement , she opened a huge round door in the wall . As the door rolled silently to the side , Jacob peered into the golden light to find his friend , the lionman , standing just inside the tunnel . " Hi , " he said , " I 've been wanting to meet you again and to thank you for saving me from the kidnapper . The people told me that you had found me and told them where I was and that you would take me home . " Reaching up , Vincent closed the door , and then taking her hand , he led his love and his son into the far reaches of the tunnels . Jacob was enthralled by all he saw , and when he was brought into Father 's huge book - filled chamber , he was almost speechless . " Boy , you sure have a lot of books , " he commented . Father explained , " Most assuredly ; we find it very peaceful and safe . Not particularly warm some days , but you get used to it after awhile . We like our little subterranean world . " " I think I 'll stay here and talk with Father while you 're gone . " She shooed them out and then turned to her conversation with Father . " We need sanctuary , Father . Elliot plans to send Jacob away to a military school , and I have this fear that I will never see him again . " " You have no need to ask for sanctuary , Catherine . Vincent loves you and you are welcome to make this your home whenever you wish . I know that I have not always been as accepting of your relationship with my son as I am now , but even stubborn old fools eventually see the light . Rushing into his arms , she began to cry . " I was so afraid that I wouldn 't be welcome after all the pain I 've caused Vincent . " " My dear , it was not your intention to cause my son any pain whatsoever . I know you love him , and I know how much he believes in a person carrying out their responsibilities , no matter how unpleasant it is . He is partly at fault . His stubborn pride in you , I suppose . " Jacob was duly impressed with the underground world and was fascinated with the Whispering Gallery . Standing in the middle of the wooden planked span listening to the voices echoing around them , Jacob looked up at the tall man beside him . Shrewdly he commented , " You 're my real father , aren 't you ? " " I 'm glad . I don 't like my other father . I don 't understand him and the things he does . I feel closer to you than to him . " " The obligations I have to my son 's happiness and safety far outweigh any obligations I have to this so - called marriage with Elliot . Vincent , we don 't even have the same bedroom , and I know that he has a mistress . To me , it 's a greater sin to stay in a loveless and useless marriage than to leave it . Elliot will get a divorce and marry his mistress . Then he can have children of his own . " " It is what I have hoped for , Catherine , but never thought to see . " He opened his arms to her . " Forgive me . I didn 't mean to imply that I didn 't want you or Jacob . I love you very much , both of you , and if that is what you want to do , I will gladly make room for you in my chamber . " " Oh yes , it 's what I want more than anything in the world , for us to be a family . " Happy and relieved , she snuggled into his embrace . Jacob threw his arms around his mother . " You really mean it ? We can stay ? " " Yes , you can stay , " Father answered for her . " And I know the perfect chamber for you , " he said with a conspiratorial wink , " close to the center and close to my chamber and to Vincent 's . We 'll keep you safe . " Turning to his immensely happy son , he said , " Vincent , why don 't you and Catherine show Jacob to his chamber . " Father leaned back in his chair and watched his son take the hand of the woman he loved more than life and pull her to his side where he wrapped an arm around her , holding her close . Then he held out his other hand to his son and led them out of the chamber . With a happy sigh , Father dabbed at the tear that threatened to break free and trickle down his cheek . Now if Elliot Burch would only leave them in peace . Elliot returned to a silent , empty house . Even the servants were gone . Wondering where his wife and son could be , he wandered into his den and found an envelope leaning against the desk lamp . A powerful premonition gripped him as he sat behind his desk and picked it up . Opening it , he read : I hope you will not try to find us after I tell you a secret that I have kept for six years . I truly do not want to hurt you , but six years ago when my memory returned , I found the man I loved and from that reunion Jacob was born . I have taken him to a safe place , and if there is any love for me and Jacob left in your heart , please do not search for us . We will be completely safe . I 'm sorry I was not the woman you needed . If you want a divorce , I will not fight you ; I think it is best for both of us to be free and for you to seek out the one for you . Catherine . As he read the letter , Elliot sat up straighter , rigid with indignation . Immediately , he reached for the phone to call Cleon Manning , the private investigator he used . How dare she ? Cuckold him with another man 's child and then , when he thought he had his dynasty safeguarded , to run off with the child . He 'd be the laughing stock of New York when this leaked out . Waiting for Cleon to pick up the phone , he had time to cool off and to start to think clearly . At least she had been honest enough - at last - - to tell him that Jacob wasn 't his . Although , that was probably to keep him from searching for them . He leaned back in his chair , thinking rationally and not with his wounded pride . So , that was why his son , no . . . Jacob , didn 't resemble him ; he looked like his father . He wondered why he had never questioned it . He hadn 't wanted to , he decided ; he had wanted an heir to carry on his work . Cleon finally answered , and Elliot apologized , saying that he had changed his mind and that he 'd get back to him . He read the letter again . Cathy wasn 't blaming him for manipulating her into marrying him before she was ready , nor for the many mistresses he 'd had , nor , for that matter , for the unhappiness of their marriage . Knowing her as well as he did , he knew that she blamed herself more than she did him . He sighed ; it really was too bad - she was a great asset to him - too bad that it hadn 't worked out , but he should have known better . Even without her memory , she had been a strong willed and stubborn woman , and with her memory restored , she was a formidable adversary . He would miss her ; he would miss their arguments . She never really gave in to him on any differences they had . Somehow she always found ways to get around him . Suddenly , he grinned ; he was free . . . free of a marriage that had turned sour , that never really had a chance . And he knew it was only Catherine 's dogged determination that had made it last as long as it did . He was young enough to father a whole stable of children , and sureFini |
I 've been cheated , been mistreated , when will I be loved ? Maybe that should be " my song . " It 's how my life has gone . I was cheated of a childhood by my parents , especially my father . I 'm sure he did the best he could as a father but it really sucked . He had problems , lots of problems . I 'll never know the extent of them . My first childhood memory is of him screaming at me . I was less than 5 . We were still in the house on Sykes Street . I was throwing up and scared . My mother wasn 't home . My dad yells at me to get it over with . I guess he was annoyed that he was going to be stuck cleaning up the mess . I was a baby . I needed reassurance , some empathy , not anger . Next I remember crying and he said to stop crying or he 'd give me something to cry about . I was still under 5 . I invented something I called " fanny burner . " It was just some watered down cologne in a bottle . I 'd rub it on where it hurt and my crying would stop . Pretty good invention - I would stop crying and my father would stop threatening me . It was the beginning of my coping mechanisms . Throughout my preteen years I became more and more isolated . I had a close friend who lived next door . My father hated her parents . Eventually I was not allowed to play with her anymore . I made friends with another neighborhood girl . Her parents told her not to play with me anymore . It was probably because of my father 's notoriety in the neighborhood but I took it personally . There couldn 't be anything wrong with my family , it had to be me . My mother reinforced this feeling . She always thought people didn 't like her . She thought maybe they were jealous of her . Even at 90 years old in the assisted living home she asked me why the other patients didn 't like her . Was it how she looked ? We watched a lot of television in the evenings . My father went out often to make estimates . I do remember one time we were all watching " Father Knows Best " or some other similar program . My father asked me why I couldn 't be more like the little girl in that show . That little girl was so affectionate with her father . I took that personally , too . It never occurred to me to ask him why he didn 't act more like that TV father . I think I was around 12 or 13 my father shoved me against the refrigerator and tried to force me to kiss him . My mother came in and stopped him . That may be the only reason I remember that incident . Just now I remember being a teenager and my father brought me home a watch . Wearing men 's watches were in style then and I had wanted one . When he tried to give it to me I told him they were no longer in style . I rejected it . But , I think I did so in order not to need to thank him . He would have wanted some show of affection . My father would reminisce about how I 'd sit on his lap as a little girl and wonder why I didn 't do that anymore . All I remember about sitting on his lap was a game he called " boom boom . " He would take my hands , clap them together a few times and then slap my face with them and shout " boom boom . " He tried to do that with my babies and I made him stop . It was a horrible game to play with a child . In later years I would visit home and bring my sons . One day my dad asked me what was wrong with me when I was a teenager . Being an adult then , I told him that I had been just acting like a kid . He still did not understand . On my last visit back home with my sons my father began screaming at Andy . Andy was scared of something and my father got livid . Andy started crying . I took him away from my father and went into another room . I left Rochester earlier than I planned . I tolerated my father 's behavior towards me , but not my son . I did not return home for eleven years . I went back by myself for my Aunt Arline 's funeral . I never took my sons back there until after my father died . My parents came to visit every Christmas . They stayed in an apartment over our garage when I lived in West U . My father told Andy stories about how he was a spy and other goofy crap . Andy told me he always wanted him to sit on his lap . I told him to just visit his grandpa when his grandma was around . One afternoon I came back home after shopping with my mom . My father was sitting in the living room and Kevin 's backpack was on the floor . I asked " where 's Kevin ? " Kevin popped up from a hiding place . He didn 't want to be alone with my father . My childhood wasn 't all my father 's fault . My mother could and should have intervened . But then she had problems of her own . She became alienated from her family , except for Arline , because of my father . No one wanted to be around him . Arline was tolerant . She told me that my father asked to have sex with her . That it didn 't work with my mother and maybe she was the problem . I guess men didn 't know about dick malfunctions in old age . My father complained about my mom holding him back . I was always on her side . After she came to live with me I became aware of more of her personality . She was very passive aggressive . I would take her shopping . She 'd be in a wheelchair . I 'd tell her to say something to people who were in the way . She refused . I had to say " excuse me " or " beep beep . " She wanted to be the sweet one . I was very protective of her but I hated how it made me feel to have to stand up for her . I had to be the bad guy . Mom took to rearranging my kitchen . She said that I must not have any friends because the phone never rang . I told her I communicated online with my friends . My feelings were hurt . Mom would not stop feeding my dog . One time she was cutting up a piece of pie to give the dog . I yelled at her . Andy was there and got mad at me . Again I was the bad guy . She continued feeding the dog until he was almost too big to move . He 'd pee and poop in the house . By that time I had a quadriplegic husband . I couldn 't take it anymore . I asked Lupita to take the dog to be put to sleep . Bad guy again . I took good care of my mom . But , I got angry at times and would say something to her . Jim said I was treating her badly . He even brought that up at our last marriage counseling session . Sure I could have been a better daughter . But , I did my best . My grades in school were always A 's . I enjoyed learning . But , I think I really enjoyed the positive recognition that I would get from good grades . I was too shy to talk to my teachers . My parents would act pleased . But those A 's on that report card made me proud . By the time I got to my junior year in high school , my parents said they didn 't know what to do with me . Education was of no particular importance to my father or mother . My father quit school at young age , probably around 12 or 13 , to help support the family . My mother quit when she turned 16 . Then there I was - wanting to go to college . Luckily I won a state scholarship and a disabled veterans ' scholarship so I was able to go . My high school gave me no direction . It was a Catholic high school and the counselor only suggested Catholic colleges . I wanted something else . Looking back I probably could have gotten a scholarship to Cornell , my dream college , but I had no idea of how to apply . Cornell had a big veterinary school that interested me . But , instead , I attended Brockport State University where I majored in Biology and minored in German . The first year I lived on campus . I had a very difficult time trying to comprehend the social life . I had never dated and boys scared me . ( My brother had told me that guys were horrible . He wouldn 't fix me up with any of his friends - even for prom . ) I lived in a dorm suite with 8 other girls . They were so much different than me . I didn 't know how to make friends with them . I had met a friend of a friend before I went to Brockport . She had also gone through all Catholic schooling . She ended up being in the same dorm building so we became friends . Her name was Chris . I was pretty bored in the classes . It seemed like I had already learned what they were teaching back in high school . Again I got straight A 's . I loved Biology class and would spend hours in the lab looking through the microscope . I especially loved genetics . In my sophomore year I lived at home and commuted to school . Brockport was only 30 minutes from Rochester . My father bought me a used Rambler American . It was an ugly brown - I called it the color of diarrhea . To perk it up I bought some striping tape . My father insisted on doing it for me . I drove to class every day up until October 16 , 1969 . My friend Chris had come home with me that day and we were going to Bertoldt Brecht 's " Mutter Courage " at a theater . I was backing out of the driveway and my mother came running out to remind me to turn on my headlights . I was about a mile from home when a car rammed the back of another car slowing for a stop light . The driver of the second car was busy lighting a cigarette . This collision caused the first car to careen across the lanes and crash into mine . I lost control of the car and came to a stop by hitting a big tree . All 3 of the cars were going slow because of the stop light . I suffered the only severe injury . The first hit knocked me down lower in the seat . The second brought my left knee up into the steering column and / or dashboard . I remember it seemed like my life was flashing through my mind . I made a conscious decision to stay aware and not pass out . My friend Chris flew into the dashboard and broke her nose . We taken by ambulance to St Mary 's Hospital . In the emergency room I was told that my kneecap was shattered and would have to be removed . The doctor said that I didn 't need it . He wiggled my right kneecap to show me how it wasn 't even attached to the leg bone . That made me nauseous . My mother got to the hospital before I did . My dad came later . He started crying and hanging over me . I struggled to get him off me . He said that with his driving experience he could have avoided the collision . That , of course , hurt my feelings . I stayed in the hospital for 2 weeks . I was on the old people floor . They slept all day and yelled all night so the nurse would give me sleeping pills every night . My cast went from the top of my thigh to my foot so I couldn 't bend my leg . An ambulance had to bring me home . The young attendant in the back of the ambulance flirted with me . Somehow just that small attention made me aware that I wasn 't so bad looking . After the cast was off and I had had some rehab I went to stay with my brother . He was on a golf scholarship at Florida State University . My parents sent me so I could get some exercise . I got to know some of my brother 's friends . I became less shy . He even fixed me up and we went on a double date . When I returned home I looked for a job . I went to Sibley 's department store first because my mother worked there . That store did not have a position for me . I went across Main Street and was hired at McCurdy 's department store . I worked in the sportswear department . My bosses really liked me . They said if I went back to school and got a degree that I could get hired in their buyer training program . I worked there until the next semester started . The car accident sent me down a totally different path in life . I went to dance club with a couple friends and met a guy . He was 24 and I was 19 . He was the first guy I ever kissed . He started pushing for more . When I didn 't give in , he broke it off with me . I met another guy , Allen and we started dating regularly . He went to a college in Kalamazoo , Michigan . When I went back to college I went to Albany State University because they offered a major in German . German was very easy for me and I just needed a BA , any BA . I stayed in a dorm suite with 5 other girls . It was a coed dorm . Some guys lived just across the hall . I missed my boyfriend , Allen . He agreed to come visit me . I knew that this meant sex . I couldn 't understand what the fuss was about . It didn 't hurt but it didn 't feel particularly good that first time . I went to visit him in Kalamazoo one time also . The sex started feeling a lot better . I felt bad when he decided to go on a ski trip during the holidays . I told him it was a good time to spend together . I got along fairly well with my roommates but still not friends with them . So , the next year I opted for new roommates . Finally , I made friends with all of them . I still am in contact with my roommate , Karen . We would all eat in the cafeteria together . One girl taught me how to knit . My roommates all went to the library to study . I didn 't need to study and I didn 't want to go out in the cold to the library . I stayed in , knitted and watched a small portable TV . I also answered the phone for all the boys that called them . We all went to a dance at a neighboring college in Troy , Ny - Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute . I did dance a few times . One of my roommates met a guy and spent the night with him . He came to the dorm to visit her and invited us all to a party at his frat house . This is where I met my first husband , Ken , on October 1 , 1971 . Ken was a few months younger than me . He took me to his room and we kissed . After that we started dating every weekend . On 10 / 30 / 71 we had sex . It was his first time . He was worried but I was already on birth control . He seemed pleasant enough . A couple months later I went back home for a visit . When I returned he told me that he had dated another girl . He said it was weird - that she was handicapped , too . He said that he must attract them . I told him to leave and not call me anymore . I must have let him come back over to talk . We were in the parking lot and he got on his knees and begged my forgiveness . I took him back . At some point during this year I went to court with my parents to sue the driver that hit me . My father told me to limp . I had worked so hard to walk correctly but he just didn 't understand . I sat through jury selection . My lawyer suggested that we settle out of court . The settlement was for $ 20 , 000 . The lawyer got 30 % off the top . The remainder was in a check written to me . I was over 21 by this time . My father had a huge fit that the check was not in his name . He wanted me to give him the check . He screamed and screamed at me . He said that his insurance had paid for my medical care and so he was supposed to get the money . I offered to repay him for the premiums but that did not satisfy him . His behavior still haunts me . I was the one injured . I just couldn 't understand why he acted that way . I decided that I wanted to spend a semester abroad . I used my settlement money to send myself to Austria for the second semester . As I was getting on the plane in NYC , Ken told me that he loved me . He wrote me heated letters while I was away . The passion in them made me laugh . I just didn 't understand guys at all . My experiences in Austria sealed my fate with Ken . The very first weekend that I was in Graz , Austria , my roommate and I met a couple guys in the college cafeteria . We went out with them that night . We had dinner and some wine . Then they wanted to take us to listen to some Austrian music . We ended up at a cottage in the outskirts of town . We had pleasant conversation . Then the guy with my roommate took her into the other room . She started screaming . I ran in to help . He was naked and raping her . I started hitting him but he only laughed . The guy I was with took me back to the other room . He didn 't touch me . Finally they said they would bring us back . My roommate and I sat in the back together but they made us move . I sat in the front with my date . On the ride back my roommate continued to scream while he fondled her . Then he leaned over to get me . I rolled down the window and started screaming for help . He hit me hard on the head so I would stop . They took us to our place and drove away . Then I started screaming and crying . This woke up our other roommates up . We all walked to the police station that night . The police took us to a hospital . My head was x - rayed . I was okay - I guess since that 's all they did . We had an instructor who was responsible for us and the other US students . In the beginning he helped a little with translating . The next week this instructor was in a skiing accident and we didn 't see him anymore . The police picked up the 2 men the next day when we pointed them out in the cafeteria . They stayed in jail for a while , I think . After this , I became even more wary of men . My roommate and I had to testify against them in court . We were even made to shake their hands after the trial . I don 't know what really happened but after this they were back at the university and would taunt us . I could have returned home . But , I didn 't want to be near my father so I stayed for the entire term . When I got back I clung to Ken . I knew he was safe . I didn 't want to try and meet any other guys . My roommates would receive care packages from home . My mom would write me letters . They called a couple of times . I told them that I wanted to spend time in NYC with Ken . They insisted on coming to NYC , too . It was weird . I stayed at Ken 's family house and they stayed in an hotel . We went to dinner one night . It was the first time that Ken had ever been to a restaurant in Manhattan . We dated throughout our senior year . There was even a pinning ceremony for us at the fraternity house . Towards the end of the semester I tried to get Ken to talk about the future . He avoided it . Then he was hired by Gulf Oil and would be moving to Houston after graduation . He decided that we would get married . We shopped for the engagement ring together . I got it a couple of weeks before graduation . Ken 's graduation was first and I attended with his parents . His mother acted angry that he didn 't graduate with honors . She asked me . I told her I was graduating magna com laude . I remember she said " why not summa com laude ? " She proved to be very difficult woman to please . Our parents got together with us in Albany and we went to dinner . It was pleasant enough . Then Ken told me that his parents were angry that they didn 't get a chance to talk to my parents . They were very upset about our engagement . We were going to get married around July but delayed it until October in an attempt to mollify his parents . I went to NYC to visit Ken before he left . His mother screamed at us and said we shouldn 't get married . That we were too young . She started talking loudly to Alex , Ken 's father in Polish . I thought I was used to screamers because of my father but she was in a whole different category . The next day I had to bring up the wedding arrangements while I was there . I asked about the number that they would invite , if they wanted their names on the invitations . That started the screaming all over again . Florence never would give me count for her invitations . I had to use Ken 's estimate of 20 people . I found a hall that would hold about 100 people . When I told Florence she was very angry that she was allotted only 20 spaces . She also wouldn 't tell me what color dress she would wear so my Mom could coordinate with her on the wedding day . She ended wearing a dark brown dress - better than a black mourning dress anyway . Ken 's aunts , uncles , cousins , one grandmother came to the wedding . I sat them towards the front . Unfortunately that made it so I could hear some of their negative comments . Rochester weddings were different than those in NYC . But , since there was so little communication , who knew ? Ken and I left after the cake was served . That was normal to me . But then the Nadolny 's all got up and left also . My mother that ended the party early . Everybody left . I moved to Houston the following day . I had previously been to Houston with Ken and helped choose our apartment on Bellaire Avenue , near Sharpstown . The complex was called the Dominique Apartments and was on Bellerive . The apartments are still there today ( 2015 ) but with a different name . We arrived in Houston and went home . I went into the bedroom . The bed was unmade and covered with opened magazines with photos of naked women . I had poor body image . I thought that Ken was disappointed with me so he had to look at those photos . I picked up the magazines and threw them behind the bed . Ken looked for them and never found them . We were both too inexperienced . He had no idea that that would hurt me . I had no idea that I had a great body . The first weekend that I was in Houston I had to get a pet . We bought a blue parakeet and named her Trixie . Trixie would say " Trixie , stop it " in Ken 's voice . He would yell at her when she misbehaved . Oh boy , I married a screamer . I had had no idea . The second week that I was there Ken badgered me about finding a job . I didn 't know the city at all . I took a job as a medical insurance adjuster downtown . I took the bus every day . Ken had the only car . I liked the job well enough . I never liked having to be in by 8 AM and I still don 't . Why 8 AM , why not 9 or 10 ? Ken was in a training program with Gulf Oil . He had already been to a training in Wyoming for a few weeks . We were in Houston for about 6 months when he had to go to Pittsburg . So , I quit my job , packed up Trixie and we moved to the apartment that the company provided for us . At least he didn 't force to work in Pittsburgh . The apartment was not in a good neighborhood so I did not leave the apartment very often . Another wife of a guy in the program and I would go to the laundrymat and grocery store together . I spent the days learning how to cook . The very last weekend that we there Ken finally took me around the city . It actually had lots of nice places . After 3 months in Pittsburgh , Ken was assigned to the Houston office . We got into another apartment complex on Bellaire Blvd near Sharpstown . Then we began to look at houses . Ken wanted to live near his office which was out in Stafford . We bought a house in Missouri City . I paid the $ 5000 down payment with my settlement money . Ken always got upset when I wasn 't employed . My next job was as a life insurance salesman . I can 't remember the name of the company . The first few weeks were training . I had to pass some state exam . I was told that everyone failed the first couple of times . I passed it on the first try . It was one of those tests with the little tricky questions . I helped the other people in my company by writing down some of the questions that I remembered . I went to the employment agencies that I had used and tried selling policies to them . I ended up selling one policy . Then I wanted to quit . I only had to show up at the office once a week and got paid whether I sold anything or not . I hated cold calling and I wanted to quit . I felt bad taking unearned salary . Of course , Ken wanted me to keep taking the money . After a month or so I finally did quit . I wanted to return to retailing . I got a job at Foley 's in Northwest Mall as a selling supervisor . It was a step in the right direction and I was so happy . It was really hard work but I loved it . I think I started in August or September . My brother announced that he was getting married in December . I had to take a few days off . My supervisor was very unhappy . When I returned from the trip home , I was blamed for some items that were not priced correctly . I hadn 't been there when the shipment arrived . My boss said that didn 't matter and I was still responsible . I was a hard worker but I couldn 't please the boss . After the holiday big shopping season was over I was let go . I guess I was actually fired . But , there was a downturn in the economy at that time plus the holidays were over . It was more like I was laid off . While I was at Foley 's I became good friends with another employee , Charlene . We met during training . She was a regular salesclerk and I was a big shot selling supervisor . I visited her at her home a couple of times . We even went out as couples once . She was very unhappy in her marriage . After I left Foley 's we kept in touch . Once she said she felt suicidal . I got scared and stopped seeing her . I wish I had kept up the friendship . We felt so close when we were together . Since then I have learned to treasure friendships and I try hard to nurture my friends . I went on a trip to Florida with my parents in between jobs . We just drove and drove all the way down to Miami . I remember we stopped at some town and checked into a motel . Then we went out to dinner . There was a movie theater nearby . I suggested that we go see " Young Frankenstein . " It had just come out and I heard good things about it . My parents weren 't too enthusiastic about seeing it but they went because I wanted to . They ended up really enjoying it . The movie has since become a classic . I started working near Sharpstown at Blackmon - Mooring Steamatic . I became their bookkeeper soon after starting . I was good at the numbers . It made sense and I enjoyed it . So , I took a couple of night classes in accounting . . I was there for 3 years . Most of the time I was pretty happy working there . Then I began to have personality conflicts with some of the other women . I didn 't know what to do about it . Eventually I quit . My boss took me to lunch to try and change my mind . But , it was too late . I live with my 3 cats : Little Buster and Twinkle and Stella . As of September 7 , 2013 I added Sweetsie to our little family . Sweetsie was a little white poodle mix that I adopted from the Pearland Animal Shelter . As a little girl I just loved poodles , especially pink ones . I have quite the collection of pink poodles . I use a koolaid rinse to dye Sweetsie pink . Now I even have a living pink poodle . |
by rgjohn © This is a story about incest between a mother and her son . If you don 't like that type of story , stop here . The introduction is fairly long but I would encourage you to read it because it sets up the entire story . If you are desperate for a sexual fix , skip down to the middle of Chapter 1 , or for that matter any other chapter , and you will find what you are looking for . : ) However , I would still suggest that you then go back and read the introduction . As always , vote and send me an e - mail to let me know how you liked it . Enjoy . Introduction It had been two years since Tommy Ritter 's father died . Tommy was sixteen when the tragedy occurred . While Tommy missed his dad a lot , it was no more than his mom did . Their life had been ideal - - living in the suburbs , two - car garage , and nice schools . Everything was just about perfect until the accident . Bob Ritter had been driving home from work late one night when a drunken driver crossed the centerline and hit his car head - on . He never had a chance . The police said that the other car had been traveling at almost one hundred miles per hour . The funeral was difficult for everyone . Bob and Sue 's relatives flew in from around the country and were a big help to Tommy and his mother . However , when the funeral was over , she and Tommy had to go home and deal with the loss alone . The accident changed their lives dramatically . Tommy 's mom , Sue , had to go back to work to make ends meet and they had to sell their house . However , in the two years since Bob 's death , Sue had done very well in her job and she had been lucky in the stock market . She had purchased a new house for her and Tommy , smaller than before , but very comfortable nonetheless . The job and investments provided enough money to enjoy life and take an occasional vacation . While the two years since the accident had been financially stable , it was emotionally difficult . On an emotional level , she and Tommy were still struggling . They leaned on each other for support and therefore had grown closer than the typical mother and teenaged son . Tommy was a tall , handsome and lean boy at 6 ' 1 " and 175 pounds . He was bigger than most of his classmates . However , while he appeared to be a confident teenager , he was , in fact , very shy and overly sensitive . Although , he had his dad 's handsome face and the bright blue eyes of his mom , he wasn 't comfortable with girls . Tommy wanted to date , but every time he was around an attractive girl , he would become tongue - tied and embarrass himself . It was easier for him just to avoid those situations . Besides , he almost felt like he would be cheating his mom if he dated . Now 18 , Tommy had graduated from high school with honors and had earned a football scholarship to a local university . While he looked like the All - American boy , he had never had a girlfriend . His shyness was an incredible embarrassment for him . The shyness was primarily the result of a slight stutter that he had developed not long after his father died . He had hid it successfully from his mother so far and most of the time he could cover it up . However , it tended to show up when he was nervous and all too often , that was in the presents of girls his age . Sue Ritter was still a very attractive woman as well . She was tall at 5 ' 7 " with a well - proportioned body . However , like most women , she was critical of her body . She thought that her butt was too round and that her breasts were too large . Her tendency was to dress on the conservative side to cover up her perceived flaws . Sue had been desperately lonely since Bob 's death . Although , she tried not to lean on Tommy too much , he seemed to be the only one that really understood . She didn 't have to explain to him how she felt when she was sad , angry , or lonely . He just knew . Sue thought that she could read Tommy as well . Out of sheer loneliness , Sue had tried dating . Unfortunately , she hadn 't met anyone that she really liked or connected with on an emotional level or for that matter , on a physical level . Sue still had strong sexual desires . However , she needed more from a man . She needed tenderness and understanding first . Most of the men she dated seemed to think that because she was a young widowed woman that she would jump into bed at the drop of a hat . Tommy tried to encourage her to go out and have some fun , but whenever he suggested that she find someone , she would always tell him that he was the only man she needed in her life now . It was almost as if she would be cheating Tommy or somehow hurting Bob 's memory . While she knew deep inside it was time to move on , she couldn 't let go of the past . Now 36 , Sue worked hard to keep the family financially solvent . Her job as a public relations executive was rewarding but time consuming . She had to work 12 hour days and sometimes Saturdays . Tommy talked her into wearing sexier clothes and had even convinced her that she looked great with short skirts and low cut tops . He told her that she needed to show off her assets to get ahead in business . It had worked on the business level . However , her good looks also attracted a lot of unwanted attention from men . " Tommy , why are you sitting home tonight ? Why don 't you go out with someone ? " Sue said , sitting down next to her son and putting her arm around his shoulders . They had this conversation almost every weekend . " Come on Mom , give me a break . I don 't need to go out , besides , I 'd rather be home with you . " That had been his standard response . It was a lame excuse and they both knew it . " Come on Tommy , that 's different and you know it . I 've already been married . Besides , I already have a man . You ! " Sue said , squeezing his shoulder affectionately . " Well , I have plenty time to date . Besides , I already have a woman . You ! " Tommy replied , smiling at using his mom 's own words . " And you 're my best friend too , " Sue said , hugging him again . However , she couldn 't let it go . " You still need to date . It 's not healthy . " Tommy 's mouth was opened but nothing came out . His head fell back on the sofa and he closed his eyes . His face seemed to color in embarrassment . " It 's nothing . Never mind , " he finally said . " Come on Tommy . . . please don 't close me out , " Sue said , turning his face to her and looking into his misty eyes . " We 've always been able to talk about anything . Haven 't we ? " Tommy had wanted to talk to his mother for a long time about his shyness and the stutter but he didn 't want to burden her . Additionally , he felt embarrassed talking to her about girls . Now that he had finally gotten up enough nerve to bring the subject up , he knew he had to continue . " It 's . . . it 's just that I 'm . . . I 'm not so hot with the girls . I 'm too shy and whenever I get around a nice looking girl I . . . I . . . I . . . get tongue - tied , " Tommy said , his eyes unable to meet his mother 's . Sue was surprised but tried not to show it . She had never heard him get tongue - tied before . " Now wait a minute , you always say that I 'm a nice looking girl and you don 't get tongue - tied around me . " " Really ? " Sue said in astonishment . My God , he was 18 and he had only kissed two girls , she thought . He must be a virgin ! The realization shocked Sue . Then a bigger problem occurred to her . " You like girls don 't you ? " " Wow Tommy , I had no idea ! " Sue was unable to hide the shock in her voice . " I 've seen you go out . You said you were going out with girls . " " I 'm sorry Mom , I lied . I go to the library or the mall . I just didn 't want you to feel bad for me . You have enough on your mind . " Suddenly , Sue realized that she had neglected Tommy since his father died . She had been foolish to think that she could read him . She had been so busy mourning her own loss , feeling sorry for herself and working on her career that she had missed all the signs . It was obvious now that he was very sexually immature . God , how could I have been so stupid ? she thought . " I am serious . You 're very comfortable around me , so why don 't we go out ? You can act as if I 'm your date . I can tell you what you need to work on . After all , I still remember what girls like . " Sue stopped when she realized that he might be embarrassed to go out with his mother . " Uh . . . that is if you wouldn 't be too embarrassed to be seen out with your old mom . " " God Mom , you 're not old . You 're the best looking woman I know ! " His face turned red as soon as he said it . Tommy was quiet for a few minutes , thinking . Maybe it would be good for her to go out , he thought . Besides , she might get off his back about dating . It could be a way for him to help her . Suddenly , he liked the idea . " Well . . . okay . . . I guess it might be fun , " Tommy finally said in a nonchalant tone . " I don 't . . . uh don 't know about that stuff . I . . . I . . . I . . . would . . . uh . . . you know , feel silly if I messed up . That would be embar . . . embarrassing , " Tommy said , a stutter in his voice . " There 's nothing you could do to embarrass yourself honey , " Sue said patting his leg affectionately . " Come on , let 's get dressed and you can take me to dinner and a movie , " Sue said , reaching to the table and picking up her car keys and flipping them to him . " You can even drive , lover boy . " " What 's wrong ? " Sue asked concerned about the look on her son 's face . Suddenly , she thought that she had made a big mistake . Sue felt her heart swell with pride and love . " Well , let 's go make them jealous . For tonight , why don 't you call me Sue , " she said with a smile . Tommy rushed to the car in front of his mom to open the door to let her in . As she sat down , Tommy couldn 't help look at the expanse of her thighs as her skirt pulled up . When he looked up he saw his mom smiling at him . God , she saw me looking up her skirt , Tommy thought . I can 't even do that right , he thought , mentally chastising himself . Tommy drove to a small Italian restaurant that they went to on occasion . It was quiet and intimate with a genuine Mediterranean look . The tables were covered in red checked table clothes and each had an old wine bottle in the center with a lit candle . There was even a violinist playing music . Dinner went great and was very relaxing . Sue even let Tommy have a couple glasses of wine . Sue wanted to make him feel more grown up . He certainly needed some confidence building . Tommy had no trouble talking to his mom . The wine had loosened his tongue just a bit . Besides , it wasn 't like it was a real date , he thought . They talked about school , friends , music , movies ; all the things that a boy and girl would talk about on a date . Occasionally , Sue would point out things about how he should act on a date . Like waiting until his date had taken her seat before he sat down or opening the restaurant door for her . She tried not to be too critical . Not surprisingly though , Tommy didn 't need much coaching . He was a natural gentleman , like his dad . Sue also forgot for a short time that she was out with her son . He suddenly seemed so mature . His pretty blue eyes sparkled in the dim candlelight as he laughed and his face lit up like a candle when he smiled . God , he was handsome , she thought . Suddenly , Sue felt a little shiver run through her . When Tommy opened the door of the car , and his mom slid in , he tried not to look at her exposed thighs again . However , that was impossible . No matter how hard he tried , his eyes went to the dark area between his mother 's legs . The light from a street lamp melted the shadows and Tommy drew in his breath . His mother 's legs opened , revealing the silky tops of her thigh high nylons , her smooth thighs and then a pair of pale blue silk panties hugging the pouch of her sex . She paused for a second with one leg out of the car . " Well , are we going to the movies or not ? " Sue asked , again noticing that her son was looking up her skirt . Another shiver ran through her . Now Sue wasn 't sure whether the spreading of her thighs had been an accident on her part or not . She felt so naughty tonight . It was just a little innocent fun , she told herself . The wine was making everything seem all right . Tommy 's shocked face turned scarlet when he saw his mom watching him again . Suddenly , he felt ashamed of his behavior . If I do this to my own mom , what will I do when I go out on a date with a real girlfriend ? he thought . At the movie theater they got sodas and popcorn then found a seat near the back row . Since the movie had been out for a while , the theater wasn 't crowded . They practically had the theater to themselves . Sue smiled to herself at her son 's boldness . She felt so comfortable and loved at that moment . It had been a long time since she felt like this . Tommy could no longer concentrate on the movie . Almost without his control , his fingers began to move lightly back and forth across the exposed swell of her breast . The movement was delicate , almost imperceptible . Still , Tommy could feel it . It felt as though his fingertips were on fire . Stop it ! he told himself . After a few minutes , Sue noticed his fingers were moving . It was a sensual touch , almost tickling . It could still have been accidental . When she felt goose bumps spring up on her chest , she knew that she should stop him . However , she didn 't want to embarrass him . He probably didn 't even know that he was doing it anyway . It was just an innocent touch . However , the tingling she felt between her legs wasn 't so innocent . Tommy 's hand was shaking , as his fingers grew bolder . The tips of his fingers moved further down until they were just barely under the elastic of her top . Now , there was no doubt about whether or not he was touching her accidentally . He couldn 't believe how bold he was . Sue 's breathing increased . She wanted to stop him but it had been so long since someone that she cared for paid attention to her . The brain of the mother was in a battle with the brain of the woman ; a woman that had missed intimate touches for so long . Sue began to squirm in her seat . Incredibly , she could feel her panties getting wet . When she felt Tommy 's fingers begin to move further down , she reached up and grabbed his hand , preventing any further movement . However , she didn 't take the fingers out of her top , but instead held them where they were , almost pressing them to her soft flesh . Tommy breathed a sigh of relief when his mother didn 't chastise him . At one point , she let go of his hand to reach for the popcorn in the seat next to her . When she turned back , Tommy took the opportunity to move his fingers downward again , getting half his hand under the top before she stopped him . Tommy felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest . His penis was now very uncomfortable in his pants . He squirmed around , trying to find a comfortable position . He couldn 't very well reach down and adjust himself . Sue held Tommy 's trembling hand tightly , knowing that one more fraction of an inch and he would be able to feel her nipple . In fact , his fingertips were touching the large brown areola . She could feel the hard nipples pulsing almost painfully . Now , her breathing was as labored as Tommy . The two sat almost frozen . When the tightness of Sue 's fingers lessened , she felt Tommy 's fingers begin to move downward again . She closed her eyes and took a deep breath . She could feel the fingers moving across the bumpy surface of her areola . Then they split apart around the nub of her swollen nipple . . . Sue jumped as if an electric shock had hit her . She quickly pulled the hand from her top . She was trembling as she sat in her seat waiting for the few people in the theater to leave . Finally , she stood on shaking legs and moved to the isle . Sue took a deep breath and sighed as she walked up the aisle in front of Tommy . She wondered why he lagged behind her . She glanced back and realized the problem that her young date had . She had to restrain herself from looking back at her son a second time . Suddenly , it was like she was in high school again . It brought back so many fond memories with Tommy 's father . The ride home was very quiet . Tommy couldn 't believe what had happened in the theater . It was like a dream . Damn , he practically had his hand on his mother 's bare breast and she didn 't stop him . Yet , he still felt embarrassed and like a cad . His mom had been nice enough to take him out and this is how he repaid her . Sue couldn 't believe what she had allowed to happen either . Again , she told herself that it was just innocent fun . After all , her son did need some confidence building , she reasoned . Tommy stood nervously in front of his mom , his hand 's fidgeting at his sides . He almost had an overpowering urge to grab her and kiss her . He got control of himself and asked , " Uh . . . does . . . does . . . a guy get a kiss on the first . . . first date , " Tommy blurted nervously . His heart was beating wildly again . His knees felt like they were going to collapse . When his mother didn 't answer right away , he thought that he had blown it . " Well , probably not on the first date , but because you were so nice I guess one kiss couldn 't hurt , " Sue said , her mind screaming No ! No ! The beautiful evening , the date and the wine were all working on Sue 's resistance . Tommy 's heart skipped a beat . God , he was going to do it he thought . He was really going to kiss her . Suddenly , he was petrified . " Wait , " she said and pulled back . " You don 't kiss with your lips like that . Wet your lips and let them relax , " Sue said in a motherly tone . Yet , this wasn 't a motherly act . Tommy did as his mother asked . He felt her bring her lips to his again . This time he relaxed his and pressed into her soft mouth . Suddenly , he was very much aware of her breasts on his chest , her soft lips , and the smell her sweet perfume . His head began to spin . Sue moaned as her tongue slid into her son 's warm mouth . It was a reflex action and automatic . She felt his tongue touch hers and a tremor ran through her . For a moment , she was lost in the sweet taste of her son 's mouth . Suddenly , she pulled her tongue out of his mouth . She had totally lost control for just a moment . She pulled her head back and took a deep breath , trying to calm herself . " Now that was better wasn 't it ? " Sue said , as innocently as possible , an uncontrollable quiver in her voice . Suddenly , Sue could feel her son 's hard penis pressing into her stomach . She shivered with excitement at the thought that she could still turn on a young man . Wait , her mind screamed , this is my own son . She knew that she had to stop this before it got out of hand . " No ! Stop ! " Sue almost screamed . Then she realized it sounded harsh and , her tone softened . " One kiss on the first date . Don 't get greedy , " Sue said pushing her son away playfully . " Au shucks , " Tommy said , with his innocent smile , trying to cover his excitement and disappointment . Then he turned serious . " God Mom , I had fun tonight . Can . . . uh . . . can we go on a date again sometime , please ? " That night , Tommy lay in bed with his hard penis in his hand , thinking of his mom . All his fantasizes until now had been about girls at school . Now his mom dominated his thoughts . He could still feel her soft breasts on his chest and her soft skin under his fingers . If he could have only moved his hand a fraction of an inch lower in the theater , he would have touched the nub of her nipple . Even now , he could still taste her lips on his and feel her tongue in his mouth . It took only minutes for him to squirt his juice all over his stomach . He jerked off three times that night . At the same time , Sue lay in bed with one hand squeezing the same breast Tommy had touched . Her other hand was forcing three fingers into her sopping hole . She climaxed over and over until her fingers and the sheets were soaked with her juice . Then , suddenly she burst into tears . God , what have I done ? she thought . The following morning Tommy saw his mother sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee . There was a very uncomfortable silence as he got himself a cup of coffee and sat down . The light of a new day made everything seem different . They each blamed themselves for what had happened . " I . . . I . . . know Mom , " Tommy interrupted . " I 'm sorry , I spoiled everything , " he said , almost in tears , waiting for her anger . Sue looked at him in surprise . " It wasn 't your fault sweetheart . It was mine . Let 's just forget it . It was probably just the wine , " Sue lied . " I shouldn 't have drunk so much . " " I knew it , " Tommy said in an angry tone . However , he was angry with himself . He arose from the table with tears in his eyes and rushed out of the room . " Tommy ! " Sue called after him . However , he was already out of the house . Now Sue was heartbroken . She was the one that had messed everything up , she thought as her tears began to flow . Later that evening , Sue tapped on Tommy 's door . She pushed the door open gently when she heard Tommy tell her to come in . He was lying on the bed looking at a sports magazine . " Tommy , can we talk ? " she asked , sitting on the bed , her face tense with thinly veiled emotions . " I 'm sorry Tommy . . . sorry about . . . about everything , " Sue said struggling with her words . " God Tommy , I was the one that suggested the date . I 've thought all day about it and I know it 's entirely my fault . We 're both lonely and we both miss Dad so much . " Suddenly , Sue stopped talking as her voice choked up . Then she began to sob . Although Sue felt comfort in his arms , she sobbed even harder . All of her pent up emotions seemed to come out of her at once . Two years of loneliness , a new job , struggling to make the bills and now this . It was all too much . Sue sat back and dried her eyes . " God Tommy , I feel the same way about you . We need each other , maybe more now than ever . " " You . . . You are a beautiful and very sexy woman , " Tommy said , trying hard not to stutter . " I . . . you . . . uh . . . . Oh hell , I 'm just a horny teenager , and I 'm sorry I got out of line , " he blurted and then laughed self - consciously . Sue looked at him with raised eyebrows then a smile came to her lips . Suddenly , they both burst out laughing . They laughed so hard that they nearly fell off the bed . The situation now seemed so ridiculous . They were making a big deal out of nothing . Tommy 's high school football team was hosting a farewell picnic for the graduating seniors , their parents , and girlfriends . Tommy wasn 't planning on attending , because he didn 't have a date . He knew that all of the boys would bring a date . He didn 't expect any of them to come with their parents . Suddenly , that didn 't matter to him anymore . His mom would be his date . Several days later , Tommy was home alone . It was a warm afternoon and he had just finished cutting the grass so he decided to take a cool shower . He went into the bathroom , leaving the door carelessly open and undressed , then stepped into the clear glass shower stall . He flipped on the shower , gasping as the cool water hit him . Soon , he was enjoying the refreshing feeling of the cold water . As he began to soap himself , he began to think of his mom . Suddenly , he had a raging hard on . He soaped his hand and worked up a lather on his long shaft . His eyes were closed as he leaned back on the tile of the shower stall , with a vision of his beautiful mom in his mind . Just an inch more , he thought excitedly of the nipple he had almost touched . Sue had decided to take off work early that day . When she came into the house , she called out to Tommy . When she didn 't hear him answer , she figured he might be taking a nap . She went upstairs to ask him if he wanted to get a movie for them tonight . As she walked down the hall , she turned and looked into the open bathroom . Suddenly , she stopped in shock . Her eyes were as big around as saucers when she saw her son in the shower , his eyes closed and his hand working up and down on the longest penis she had ever seen . While she didn 't have much to compare it to , she knew it was much longer than Bob 's . " Oh God , suck me , " Tommy whispered to himself as he stroked his penis . His breath was coming in short gasps as he neared his climax . Soon , his hand was flying up and down , splattering the soapy froth to the tile below . " Oh yes , yes , suck my cock Mom , " he groaned . His long penis throbbed and a stream of cum shot from the head , spattering all the way out of the shower stall and onto the tile on the bathroom floor . Sue felt like she was going to pass out as she watched her son climax . She could feel her sex lips throbbing and juice was pouring into her panties . One hand absently moved up to her breast and began to squeeze it as her legs rubbed together . For some reason , Tommy opened his eyes . He gasped when his eyes met his mother 's . However , it was too late to stop his climax . His hand continued to move on his penis until there was nothing left in his balls . An hour or so later , Tommy came downstairs to dinner wearing a pair of shorts and tank top . He was very nervous about his mother 's reaction to what she had obviously seen . He felt like such an idiot again . Sue was at the sink when she heard Tommy come into the kitchen . She had also been agonizing over the embarrassing mistake as well . She knew that what Tommy was doing was perfectly normal . Every young boy masturbated . However , his words kept running through her head : ' Oh yes , yes , suck my cock Mom ' . A little shiver ran through her as she turned around and smiled at Tommy . " Hi sweetie . Dinner will be ready in a minute . " The smile on her face belied the turmoil inside . When she saw what her son was wearing , her eyes lingered . God , he looks good , she thought . Then her face turned hot as she remembered the vision of him standing in the shower with his hard penis in his hand . The smile on his mother 's face surprised Tommy . He was prepared for her to rant and rage . The tension drained from him when he saw her bright smile . He sat down at the table . " So what are we going to do tonight ? " Sue brought the food over to the table and sat down to eat . She knew that she couldn 't just forget the incident in the shower . Something like that could have a very negative impact on a kid , she thought . They ate in silence until Sue thought of something to say . She decided that humor had worked before so she said , " So how was your shower ? " A smile crossed her face . " Come on Tommy , I thought we were going to be honest with each other . I saw you and I 'm sorry . I didn 't realize you were in the shower . " " I know you were masturbating . All boys do that . Let 's not make a big deal out of it . Okay ? " Sue kept a smile on her face but getting the words out was one of the most difficult things she had ever done . However , she felt great relief that it was out in the open . She didn 't think it was necessary to tell him that she had heard what he said . " Don 't worry about it . It 's our home and we should be able to feel free , " Sue said . " You 're just a ' horny teenager ' anyway , right ? " Sue laughed . " Okay , " Tommy said and got up and took the car keys . Then he walked over and kissed his mother 's lips lightly and said , " I might stop over Shawn 's first . I 'll be back in a little while . Love you Mom . " Sue cleaned up the dishes and went to take a shower . When she walked into the bathroom , she felt a little thrill at what had happened . She stood in the same shower that her son had been in . A strange feeling came over her . It was almost like she was feeling the excitement that Tommy had felt . She resisted the urge to masturbate , forcing herself to just take a shower . Tommy decided not to stop over Shawn 's . He got a movie - - a ' chick flick ' as the teenagers called it - - and headed back home . When he went upstairs , he passed his mother 's bedroom . The door was opened just a crack . When he had passed the door , he stopped . He saw his mother sitting on the bed , painting her fingernails . She had a towel around her body and one wrapped around her head . Tommy started to peek in and say hi , but he saw her get up and walk over to the dresser , looking into the mirror . He was surprised to see that the bath towel barely covered the cheeks of her buttocks . Her legs look so long and smooth . He stood quietly and watched as she took the towel from around her head and began to dry her hair . Tommy knew that he shouldn 't be spying , but he couldn 't help himself . Sue used the towel to partially dry her hair then plugged in the electric dryer . As the warm air surrounded her , she looked into the mirror . She saw movement outside the door . For a second she was frightened but realized that Tommy must have come home early . When he didn 't move , it occurred to her that he was spying . She considered closing the door but knew that she would embarrass him . Besides , after the talk about freedom in the house , that would be hypocritical . It was only fair since she had watched him . Sue continued to dry her hair , letting her son look at her scantily covered body . Suddenly Sue could feel excitement rippling through her . Her hands trembled as she grasped the towel at her breasts . This is crazy , she thought . Still , her hands moved and she opened the towel , holding it wide for a second or two . Her eyes glanced into the mirror and she knew that Tommy could see the naked front of her body . She could feel her nipples harden as she slowly let it drop behind her . She thought she heard a gasp . Tommy had gasped . He stood frozen , looking at his mother 's naked body . She was absolutely gorgeous . Her large breasts were still firm and sat up with very little sag . His eyes traveled to her pubic area . He saw her soft blond hair and just a hint of the pink inner lips . Inside his pants , Tommy 's penis was pulsing with life . Then Sue did something that astounded her , maybe more than Tommy . She reached down and opened the bottom drawer , bending over at the waist . Her buttocks pushed back and she moved her legs slightly apart . " Oh God , " Tommy moaned as he stared at his mother 's beautiful ass . He looked between her legs and could see the pouch of her vagina staring back at him . He could even see the lips shining wetly . It didn 't occur to him that his mother was just as turned on as he was . Sue felt like she was bent over for a very long time , but it was more like several seconds . She knew that she had to straighten up when she felt her juice begin to trickle out . Slowly she stood up , holding a pair of skimpy red panties in her hand . Then she bent again and stepped into the panties , pulling them to her waist . She could feel the silky material caress her buttocks sensuously and pull tightly to her swollen sex lips . Sue sighed and let out a deep breath . I must be losing my mind she thought as she began to dress . She put on a short summer frock that came to the middle of her thighs . When she started to walk out of the room , she stopped . Her hands were shaking when she lifted her dress and pulled her panties off and threw them on the bed . Sue sat on the couch and Tommy sat on the floor leaning against the couch . About an hour into the movie , Tommy excused himself and went upstairs to the bathroom . As he passed his mother 's room , he stopped . He saw a pair of little red panties lying on the bed . My God , has she taken her panties off ? he said to himself . When Tommy returned to the living room , he was on a mission . He had to know if she had taken her panties off . As he sat back on the floor , he turned slightly sideways so that he could see his mother 's legs . However , try as he might , he couldn 't get a view up her dress . Finally , he sighed in frustration and gave up . Fei05 - 09 - 2004 , 02 : 53 PMSue sat on the couch , drinking wine . She could see that Tommy was trying to get a look up her dress . She suppressed a smile as she turned this way and that , never letting him have a good view . She knew that she was teasing him unmercifully but somehow she couldn 't stop . Finally , as the wine took over , she sat back in the corner of the sofa and curled her legs up next to her . Her little dress barely covered the cheeks of her buttocks . Tommy saw his mother move out of the corner of his eye . She shifted again slightly and he glanced at her legs . He could see up the back of her legs now but the dress still covered her sufficiently . After a while , the room grew quiet . Tommy turned and saw that his mother was asleep . He knew that she often fell asleep when she drank wine . Suddenly , a dirty thought came to him . He got up quietly and sat gently on the couch , next to his curled up mother . The clock on the wall ticked loudly and his heart beat hard in his chest as he waited to make sure she was asleep . Then with shaking fingers , he reached over and took the material of her dress in his fingers . Slowly , almost imperceptibly , he began to move it up her thighs . When the dress was above just above her buttocks , Tommy stopped . That 's enough , he thought . Then he slid back to the floor . He waited a minute or two then turned to look at his mother . A little whine came from his throat when he saw her sex lips staring at him . Although it was dark in the room , the TV gave off enough light that he could clearly see her vagina . Sue moaned as if in her sleep and moved slightly , forcing the dress even higher on her buttocks . Then she pulled one knee up closer to her chest and the dress moved further up her hip . She could feel the cool air on her private parts and shivered in excitement . Now Tommy could see everything . Her soft white buttocks almost glowed in the artificial light . He could almost see the tiny hole hidden between her cheeks and the pink inner lips of her sex . Throwing caution to the wind , Tommy opened his pants and freed his throbbing penis . As he stared at his mother 's private parts , he began to masturbate . Sue was doing everything she could not to move . She could feel her son 's eyes on her sex lips and knew that she was leaking . She could feel the wetness dripping to her thigh . Slowly she opened her eyes just a fraction . Her head started to spin with excitement when she saw Tommy holding his penis . Her swollen lips pulsed with illicit excitement as she spread her legs a little more and forced her hips downward . Her little dress was almost at her waist now . " Oh Jesus , " Tommy whispered aloud . Now he could clearly see both of his mother 's holes , including the puffy sex lips and the tiny brown hole just inches away . His hand flew up and down on his penis , moving him rapidly toward a climax . Suddenly , he moaned and began to squirt his semen . The first blast flew above Tommy and splattered onto the back of his mother 's thigh , near the junction of her sexual parts . When Tommy saw that , his climax intensified . In his sexual fog , it didn 't occur to him that he might not be able to clean it off before his mother awoke . When Tommy 's balls were empty , he closed his shorts as embarrassment flooded over him . Again , he chastised himself for losing control and for his nasty thoughts about his own mother . He could see his own cum begin to run down the back of her thigh . Oh my God he thought , what am I going to do ? Sue 's legs were barely able to hold her . She acted like it was because she had just awoken . However , excitement was causing the blood to rush to her head . She was very much aware of Tommy 's sperm on the back of her thighs . She kissed Tommy good night and went to her room . As soon as she was behind the bedroom door , she reached her hand back and felt her son 's sticky discharge . Suddenly , her lets almost gave out and she staggered to the bed . She collapsed as a strong climax hit her . When that one was over , she pulled her dress up and used her fingers to masturbate until she fell asleep in exhaustion . Her dress was still around her waist and Tommy 's dried sperm was on the back of her thighs the next morning . Tommy waited in the living room for his mom to come down so they could leave for the State Park . When he saw her this morning , there was nothing to indicate that she knew what he had done . She smiled sweetly at him and they talked about all the normal things . He figured he had gotten away with that one but he knew that he would have to be more careful . Sue tried to be philosophic about what had happened . He was a young boy with lots of growing pains . It was only natural for him to see his mother as a sexual being . It would be strange for it to be any other way . She would just have to be more careful . When Sue came down wearing a tank top and a pair of very tight short shorts , Tommy was astounded again . He could almost see the indentation of her sex lips in the crotch . She couldn 't have panties on , he thought , trying not to stare . Tommy was also amazed when he saw that she wasn 't wearing a bra . When they arrived , the park was buzzing with activity . There were 60 or 70 people at the picnic , representing the team , family and friends . Tommy jumped out and opened the door for his mom . They walked proudly toward the group picnic area . It was quickly obvious that everyone noticed Sue . The boys and their fathers drooled and the women looked jealous . Some of the men tried to come on to Sue but she put them all off saying she had a date , her son . Tommy strutted around like a peacock , never letting his mom get too far from his sight . After everyone had eaten , played some volleyball , and did some rowing on the lake , the crowd started to thin . Tommy and Sue took their blanket and went up the hill and found a place under a large oak tree , a good distance from the crowd . Sue had had a little too much to drink and swayed as she helped Tommy place the blanket on the ground . She seemed to be drinking a lot more lately . " Nothing sweetie , it 's just that this is so perfect . Your dad and I used to bring you here all the time . We even sat under this tree . I feel the best that I 've felt since your father died . Thank you for being here for me , " Sue said leaning in close and putting her head on his shoulder . As Tommy 's arm was squeezing his mother to him , he realized that his hand was touching her breast again . This time it was the side of her breast , where it swelled out from the tank top . Tommy moved his hand slowly , touching her soft breast outside the material of her top . He held his breath as he waited for her to stop him . Sue felt what Tommy was doing . She didn 't want to start a fight so she let him gently rub her breast . However , that familiar feeling started in her lower region again . Goose bumps appeared on her arms and she leaned heavily into her son 's strong chest . Tommy worked his fingers across the soft material very slowly . He kept it up for a long time , waiting for her to grab his hand like she had done at the movie . When she made no move to stop him , he boldly opened his hand and slid it under her breast , then slowly lifted up . His head began to spin when he held one full , cloth - covered breast in the palm of his hand . His penis throbbed in his pants . He felt the point of her now hard nipple as it almost burned his palm . Tommy thought he heard her moan . But no , she was breathing heavy and regular . He looked at her face and saw that her eyes were closed . The weight of her body against him made him think that she might be asleep . Tommy moved his hand down and under the tank top to the warm skin of her stomach . Slowly he moved his hand upward , inch by inch . He felt an electric shock when the side of his hand touched bare skin . He thought he was going to cum in his pants . He took a deep breath and turned his hand over , palm up . Now he held the full bare breast of his own mother in his hand . He waited for what seemed like an eternity for his mother to react . When she didn 't move , he began to squeeze it . He played with the heavy breast gently , feeling the fullness and the warmth of her flesh , fearing all the time that he would wake her . Sue 's mind was reeling . The blood was pounding in her head . She couldn 't think straight . She knew she should stop this but her libido and the wine was in control . She could feel her shorts begin to get very wet and feared that it might show through . Tommy grew bolder . He cupped and kneaded one breast before sliding across to do the same to the other . He moved slightly and let his mother slide sideways and into his arm , her back pressed to his now pulsing penis . He sighed with relief when saw that her eyes were still closed . Then he shifted his view and he watched his hand move freely under her top . Sue lay as quietly as she could , letting her son explore her breasts . She could feel his erection pressing to her back and throbbing . It felt huge . Her hips wanted to move as she fought to control her breathing . Tommy squeezed and lifted the breasts and then moved on to play with the hard nipple . It suddenly occurred to him that he had sucked this same nipple as a baby . Suddenly , he had to see them . Slowly , his hand lifted the top until a large orb was bare . His eyes were wide as he stared at the smooth white skin and the long pink nipple . His squeezed the flesh gently . He was fascinated as he watched his hand knead her soft flesh . Sue finally had to stop this . She stirred and felt Tommy quickly pull his hand from her breast , letting her top cover her again . Then she sat up and rubbed her eyes . " I must have fallen to sleep . I 'm sorry , I seem to be doing that when I drink . How long was I out ? " They walked hand in hand down a path that led toward the lake . It was impossible for Tommy to hide the bulge in his pants . He couldn 't believe what he had just done . He shook his head , thinking that it might all have been a dream . They sat there in silence looking out over the glistening lake . They could see specks in the distance on the lake that had to be people rowing small boats . Coming from far away they could hear the faint sounds of children laughing and playing . At that moment , everything was perfect . Sue sucked in her breath . She couldn 't answer right away . Somehow , she knew that this question would come up again . She had practiced how to tell him no gently . She didn 't want to hurt him . However , all of the practice went out the window when she was faced with the question . Sue could still feel his hand on her breast and her swollen lips were still dripping in her shorts . Instead of a firm no , she said , " I suppose so , but just one . " Tommy 's heart leaped in his chest . Nervously , he turned to his mother and brought his lips to hers . As their lips pressed together , he pulled her into his bare chest . When she opened her mouth , he didn 't wait for her tongue ; he pushed his into her warm and wet mouth . He could taste the wine she had drunk . When his tongue pulled out , his mother 's followed , pressing into his mouth . He sucked on her tongue and heard her moan . The kiss went on and on , turning into a second kiss and then a third . Tommy took a chance , brought his hand up , and slid it under his mother 's top , touching her breast again . He moaned as he felt her breast in his palm . His fingers were shaking as he played with the nipple , causing his mother to push her breast into his hand and let a little moan escape her lips . Their lips were almost swollen from the continued passionate kissing . Her voice didn 't seem that convincing to Tommy . He pushed her back onto the ground , ignoring her weak protests and again brought his mouth to hers . His hand now worked her top up until both breasts were exposed to the cool late afternoon air , causing the nipples to harden even more . Tommy broke the kiss and pulled back , looking down at his mother 's beautiful full breasts . Tommy fell onto his back , his chest heaving , looking up at the sky . " I 'm . . . I 'm an idiot , Mom . I always spoil everything . I 'm sorry . " Sue sat up , pulling her top back down and looked at her son . She was so worked up that she was losing control . It 's my fault , not Tommy 's , she thought . I 'm the adult and I led him on . Then a sigh escaped her lips as she looked at her son 's strong chest then down to the tent in his shorts . " You 're not an idiot Tommy . You 're a wonderful son and I love you very much , " Sue whispered , then stretched out next to him and put her head on his chest . The side of her face lay on the hot skin of his chest . She could feel his heart pounding . Slowly as if she couldn 't control it , her hand began to slide down her son 's stomach . She marveled at his hard abdominal muscles and watched them ripple from her ticklish touch . When she reached his belt , she paused and then as if she had made a decision , she began to unbuckle his pants . " Shhhhh ! " Sue said as she unsnapped his shorts and pulled his zipper down . She hesitated only a moment before she reached her trembling hand into his boxer shorts and grasped his hard penis . Sue 's hand pulled his hard shaft from his shorts and out into the bright sunlight . " Oh ! " she said as she looked at her son 's tool . The head was swollen and dripping juice . The skin of his shaft felt warm , almost hot in her hand . Sue 's world was spinning around her as she began to move her hand up and down her son 's penis . Tommy was shaking as he felt his mother take her finger and run it through the stream of clear juice coming from the dripping tip . Then she used it to coat the head until it was shining in the sunlight . She ran her fingers gently up and down his long shaft ; bringing another long moan from him and another large bubble of juice . Her fingers dipped into the clear fluid and slowly , with her hand trembling , she brought it to her lips . Now there was a long strand of clear pre - cum juice connecting Sue 's lips to her son 's penis . Her head began to slowly slide down his chest . Sue knew how wrong this was , how crazy , but yet she couldn 't stop . She coated the palm of her hand with his clear juice then wrapped it around the hot shaft . She inched further down his chest and watched as if it were someone else 's hand . It wasn 't real , she told herself . She couldn 't be holding her son 's hard penis in her hand . Sue was startled when a stream of white juice shot from the head of his shaft , hitting her on the cheek and neck with great force . She squealed as it splattered across her cheek and down to her neck . Sue quickly recovered and squeezed her son 's penis , milking jet after jet of sperm onto his chest and stomach in front of her wide eyes . It splattered inches from her mouth . She could smell it . Sue squeezed her legs together as she felt a spasm run through her . Her hips moved in sync with Tommy 's ejaculation as her own climax overtook her . Moments later all was silent except for the birds chirping in the forest and the labored breathing of a mother and her son . Then Sue lifted her head and fell back onto the ground , her chest still heaving up and down . She closed her eyes and took a deep breath . God , if he hadn 't cum when he did , what was I going to do ? she asked herself . " I think it 's time we head back , " Sue said as she sat up . She looked down at his sperm covered stomach and shivered . She could feel the hot juice cooling on her face and beginning to run . " No , I 'm okay , let 's not soil your shirt , " Sue said . She felt the juice trickle down her neck and to the top of her breast . It was very odd but she wanted to feel his juice on her face . She just wasn 't ready to wipe it off . Bob used to love to squirt his juice into her face and she would leave it there until it dried . They walked hand in hand , back to where they had left their blanket . They retrieved the blanket and the rest of their belongings and drove home in silence . Both mother and son had a million thoughts going through their heads . The workweek was very busy for Sue . She had to work late several nights and she brought work home with her . Tommy had the playbook from his new school to read , so they didn 't have time to talk about the events of the weekend . Neither of them knew what to say to the other anyway , so it was a good time to assess their feelings . Tommy was concerned that his mom would be angry with him for pushing her too far . Although , she didn 't act upset and their conversations at the dinner table seemed normal . Still , he felt juvenile for not controlling himself and squirting in her face . Yet , she had left his sperm there , refusing the offer of his shirt . Sue patted the sofa next to her when she saw Tommy start to sit in a chair across the room . She took a deep breath and looked into her son 's eyes . " Tommy , I feel bad about what happened last weekend . " " Let me speak , " Sue said taking her son 's hands in hers . " I 'm sorry about what happened at the lake . A mother should never do anything like that with her son . I had too much to drink but that 's no excuse ; I was totally out of line . I , I . . . " Sue began to cry . Tommy held her for a long time before he felt like he had to say what he was feeling . " Mom , I . . . I . . . have to tell you that it was the greatest experience of my life , no matter whose fault it was , " Tommy said , lifting his mother 's tear streaked face . " I never , ever , want to hurt you . . . or make you cry . " Tears began to fall from his eyes . Tommy brought his lips to hers in a loving and tender kiss . When he pulled away , he held her face in his hands , using his thumbs to wipe away her tears . " I 'll try harder to control myself , " he promised . Sue was quiet for a minute . She knew she was on very dangerous ground . Her rational brain was screaming for her to stop all this . Yet , her emotional side was winning . Finally she spoke . " No , but it does mean that we have to know when to stop . When I say ' stop ' , that 's it . You have to stop whatever you 're doing , as hard as that might be . Do you agree ? " Sue could feel excitement begin to course through her . Tommy thought he was going to scream . He wanted to jump for joy . This was beyond his wildest imagination . He calmed himself and said in a controlled voice , " Fair enough , you 're the boss . Tomorrow night then ? " The following evening , they went out to a late dinner and came back home . Tommy didn 't try to kiss her or take advantage of the fact that she had drunk a few glasses of wine . He was a perfect gentleman except that he did try to look up her dress . It was an unseasonably chilly June evening , so Tommy started a fire in the fireplace while Sue when upstairs to change . Then he went to the kitchen and got a bottle of wine and a glass for his mom . He brought a coke back for himself and put some soft music in the CD player . He lit several scented candles around the room . He was sitting on the sofa when Sue came back down . She had put on a pair of sky blue silky pajama pants and top . The blue in the outfit matched her beautiful eyes . Tommy whistled in appreciation as he handed her a glass of wine . " Alright , I guess this is a good time for a lesson then , " Sue said taking a quick drink before putting her wine on the table . " Your father had two left feet but he tried hard and was going to take lessons before he . . . " Sue 's voice trailed off . She stepped forward and took her son in her arms , placing her head on his shoulder . Within seconds , she realized that he needed some major work . She pulled back and smiled at her son . " You definitely need a lesson , " she said with a laugh . " Now the first thing is , DON ' T STEP ON YOUR DATE ' S FEET . " They danced for the better part of an hour . Sue taught him how to hold a girl and how to move smoothly around the room . Tommy was a fast learner and got the hang of it very quickly . Finally , they tired and sat on the sofa together . " I . . . I . . . was just wondering if girls really like to do that . . . uh you know . " Tommy began to stutter a little , as he became nervous with the frank question . Suddenly he stopped and his face flushed . " I 'm . . . sorry , I shouldn 't ask a question like that . " Her response calmed Tommy 's nerves so he continued . " I know there are a lot of girls that do it , but do they really like it ? I mean . . . you know , like the taste ? " Tommy was only being partially facetious with the question . The boys in school all talked about it but he was curious to know if women really liked . " Well , I think a lot of girls like to do it . Your dad and I . . . " Sue stopped , not wanting to get too personal . " I 'm sure there are lots of girls that like it , but I 'm not sure they really like the taste . I guess it 's like Scotch , you have to acquire a taste for it , " she said and smiled . " I think the thrill of doing something like that for someone you love is what I like . " Sue paused for a second to let him absorb that . Then she added , " Girls also like to have it done to them , it 's a two way street you know . " " Of course they do . Don 't be so self - centered , " Sue said almost in anger . Then her tone softened . " A man should be just as willing to use his mouth on a woman as having it done to him . A man that is good with his mouth will have a lot of girlfriends . " Sue laughed a little self - consciously , feeling a little thrill go through her groin at the thought . As Tommy sat there thinking about that , he felt his already hard penis begin to pulse . It did sound like fun . " Mom , " Tommy said , then hesitated . " Mom , since you are my teacher about dating girls and stuff , would you tell me . . . uh tell me about . . . about . . . you know the oral sex stuff . I . . . mean . . . how does a girl do it ? " Tommy asked taking a big chance . He figured his mother would see right through his farce . Sue sat silent for some time . She held her wineglass in her hand and stared at the wine , swirling it around . She felt that old thrill go through her . " Tommy , I think that 's going a good bit too far . " " Okay , I just thought I 'd ask . Can 't hurt to ask , can it ? " Tommy said trying to act like it had all been a joke . " No it can 't , but let me think about it , " Sue said putting her glass down on the table . She leaned over to Tommy and brought his lips to hers . She had wanted a kiss so bad tonight . Tommy was being too much of a gentleman . They held each other , kissing passionately for a long time . Finally , Sue felt Tommy 's hand on her silk covered breast . It 's about time ! she thought . Sue moaned into her son 's mouth as he squeezed her soft breast . Then , she surprised Tommy by reaching up and slowly unbuttoning her pajama top , all the way down the front as their lips stayed locked together . Then she pulled the top open and pressed her naked flesh to her son . They moaned into each other 's mouths . Finally , when they broke away , both of them were breathing hard . There was fire burning in Sue 's eyes . Sue held Tommy 's face in her hands and looked into his eyes . Oh hell , she thought , I can 't resist this boy . Still staring into his eyes , her hand moved to his crotch and rubbed gently over his penis . It was throbbing and stretched down the leg of his shorts . Sue gasped as her hand wrapped around the shaft . She squeezed him , working down the cloth - covered protrusion . It felt huge . Sue pulled back and used both hands to open her son 's shorts . Then she slid off the couch and onto the floor between his legs , her blouse flapping carelessly open . She reached up , grasped the waist of his shorts , and pulled on them . Tommy sat wide - eyed looking down at his mother . Sue sat back and gasped again . Her son was now naked from the waist down and his raging erection was throbbing in front of her face . She studied it for a second time . He had cum so quickly in the park that she didn 't really get to see it that well . His penis was beautiful and perfect . It was longer and thicker than his father 's , with blue veins bulging on the sides and a perfectly mushroom shaped crown . Sue slid her hands up his thighs , moving forward until she was inches from his penis . She looked on in wonder at his equipment . Slowly her hands took hold of the shaft , gently , almost like it was fine china . Tommy moaned and bucked his hips . She used her tongue to lick around the head , teasing the sensitive skin where the head and shaft met . Sue was being very careful not to over excite him . She knew from last weekend that he could cum very quickly . Sue took the head into her mouth , gently sucking it , then using her teeth to put a little pressure around the edges . Sue loved oral sex . She was one of " those girls " that liked the taste . It had been one of her favorite things to do to Tommy 's father . And , she was very good at it too . Tonight , she used all of her skills to work her son to a peak and then she would back off , keeping him on the edge for a long , long time . Tommy stared in amazement as he watched his beautiful mother worship his cock . She seemed to be in a world of her own . He watched as her tongue licked him and then her mouth sucked him inside . He would moan each time she would take the shaft deep into her mouth . Several times , he began to throb , near orgasm , but his mother would squeeze tight at the base until he was under control again . It was the most incredible feeling he had ever felt . Sue worked on him for over a half - hour , literally making love to his penis . However , she knew that Tommy couldn 't take much more . The truth was that she couldn 't take much more either . She now wanted him to cum as bad as he did ; she thirsted for his sweet juice . It had been a long time since she had tasted sperm . Sue had acquired a taste for cum years ago . Sue wrapped her hand around the base of his shaft and held it tight as she pulled her head back and stuck out her tongue , flicking the tip . She looked up at her son who was still staring wide - eyed at her . Then she closed her eyes and put her mouth over the head of his penis . Her hand moved up and down several times rapidly . That was all it took . Sue 's head moved back in surprise at the force of his ejaculation but kept the head in her mouth . The hot cream hit the back of her throat , choking her momentarily . She swallowed just in time for another blast to enter her mouth . She was ready this time and swallowed it down rapidly , waiting for the next shot . It came quickly , filling her mouth to over flowing . She tried to swallow it all but it was just too much . It dripped from the corners of her mouth and ran down to her son 's balls . As his sticky white cum dripped from her chin , Sue felt that familiar tremor in her * * * * * . Suddenly , she took a huge swallow and began to climax . She bucked her hips as her vagina throbbed . She lost control for a moment and stopped sucking . As her mouth filled , she quickly realized she had to swallow . Tommy thought he was going to die . He had never felt anything so intense . He couldn 't believe that he was sitting here on his sofa , squirting cum into his mother 's mouth . And , she was drinking it ! He could hear her struggling to swallow it all . Now he knew that his mom was right ; some girls do like the taste . Tommy was lying back exhausted . When he opened his eyes , he saw his mother 's pretty blue eyes staring up at him . Her lips and chin were coated with his white cum , but she had swallowed most of it . Tommy couldn 't resist ; he reached down and pulled his mother up to him . Both Tommy and his mom realized that the ice had been broken and that there was no going back . The best that Sue could hope for was to control how far they went . However , she knew that that was going to be exceedingly difficult . After all , she had her own needs . However , she na ‹ vely thought that if she could keep him satisfied orally then he wouldn 't try to push it further . The following morning she was in the bathroom in her bra and panties getting dressed . It was Saturday and she wasn 't going into work for a change . She saw Tommy looking into the bathroom through the slightly opened door . With a sigh , she turned and looked at him . She saw him looking over her shoulder at her thinly dressed form . Her nipples began to harden under her thin beige stretch bra . Then she saw his hands slowly moving up her stomach and over her rib cage . When his hands reached her bra - covered breasts , his lips touched the tender area of her neck . A chill ran through Sue and she whispered , " Tommy . " However , there was no admonishment in her voice and she didn 't say stop . Slowly Tommy pushed his fingers under her bra . " I want to see your breasts , " he whispered . When his mother just moaned , he boldly pushed the bra up , letting both breasts pop free . " Oh God , " he moaned when he saw her large breasts in the mirror . His hands covered the soft flesh and began to knead them like cookie dough . " Tommy , " Sue moaned again , rapidly losing control . She could feel her son 's hard penis pressing into her panty - covered buttocks . Her own hips began to push backward . With a deep breath , Sue spun around in Tommy 's arms . She saw him smile and as he bent to kiss her lips . Instead of giving him her lips , Sue slid to her knees . Quickly she unsnapped his shorts and pulled them down . She gasped when his penis sprung out and hit her in the face . He hadn 't worn any underwear . " Oh God Mom , " Tommy moaned as his mother took his penis into her mouth and began to suck . His hips began to move back and forth , forcing his penis to the back of her throat . He watched as her face showed the pleasure she was getting from sucking him . Tommy was rapidly reaching the point of no return . " Mom , " he hissed . When she didn 't respond , he said it louder . " Mom ! " Sue opened her eyes wide in surprise . God , he was so much like his father . That was one of his favorite things to do . Slowly Sue pulled his penis from her mouth . She looked up at Tommy and smiled . Then she kissed the swollen head lovingly before sitting up on her knees until his penis was between her breasts . She reached behind her , unsnapped her bra , and dropped it to the floor . Then she took a bottle of cream from the counter . Without a word , she squirted it between her breasts and then closed the mounds around him , imprisoning him in her soft flesh . " Ohhhhhh ! ! ! " Tommy moaned as the warm flesh enveloped him . He watched in excitement as she began to move her breasts up and down , her mouth catching the head when it reached her lips . Tommy knew that he wasn 't going to last very long . This was just too wild . His hips began to move quickly , forcing his penis between her breasts so rapidly that she couldn 't catch the head in her mouth any more . Sue held her breasts tightly around her son 's penis , looking up at his pleasure filled face . She saw him grimace and knew that he was close . " Oh God Mom . . . I 'm going to . . . ohhhhhhh . . . cummmmm ! ! ! " Suddenly , Tommy 's penis throbbed and shot a huge string of juice into the air , hitting his mother 's chin and running down her chest . Then another blast hit her and then another , splattering across her chest . It kept coming until there was nothing left but a slow trickle . When the last drop was squeezed out , Tommy staggered backward . He saw his mother looking at her cum - covered breasts . Then he watched her begin to massage the thick juice into the soft skin . Sue was lost in her own world for a few minutes . When she realized that Tommy was staring at her she stood up . " I have to get dressed now , so give me a little privacy please . " As soon as Tommy was gone , Sue closed the door . She pulled her panties down and began to masturbate with one cum - covered hand . She used her other hand to caress her juice - covered breasts until a strong climax roared through her . Finally , Sue sighed and dressed , pulling the bra over her still wet breasts . Strangely , she felt less guilt now . It seemed that each time got a little easier . That worried her . The following evening , Sue and Tommy were scheduled to go down the street to a neighbor 's house for a graduation party . Sue was dressed in a low cut black cocktail dress . The dress exposed a lot of her breasts and required a bra . Tommy moaned about having to wear a tie but when he saw the way his mother was dressed , he shut up . His eyes stared at her exposed chest . " Wow Mom ! " was all he could muster . |
There are so many , many things that have made the past year pleasurable . I could list family , friends , books , music , puzzles , games and on and on and on , and I would have listed them except that those things don 't change . Those things sustain me day to day , year to year . Technically , Levi came on the scene the last week of 2010 , but it was in 2011 that he became a full - fledged family member . On his worst days ( and there were a few bad ones ) he still had funny going for him . On his best days ( most of his days are best ones now ) , nothing has been ripped , and he gives hugs and kisses along with being funny . It 's very hard to get depressed when there 's a natural clown in the house . This , too , began in 2010 , but I 've really reaped the benefits of it in 2011 . I have felt better this year than at any time in the past ten years , maybe even longer . Yes , I 'm getting old , and I still have some of the aches and pains that go along with that , but nowhere near as many as I did before . This year I accepted the possibility that I might actually live longer than I had previously anticipated , which made me focus more on what I 'm doing with my life and less on how much time is left . This was the first vacation I 've had in years , one I wouldn 't have been healthy enough to take a year earlier , and it was wonderful . The time with my sister , who is the person who has shared more of my life than any other living being , was precious to me . The scenery was spectacular . Those things together have given me enough good memories to last the rest of my life , but , more than that , the experience expanded my horizons . Where I once saw boundaries and limitations , I now see possibilities . This is the only negative item on my short list . Kadi 's personality was a big one , and I 've felt her absence in so many ways . She was the first dog I ever knew all the way from puppyhood through old age , and I loved her dearly . In her short life , she gave me everything she had . In her death , even as I grieved , I learned again that loving is the best thing there is , that love is worth the pain of losing it , that the pain doesn 't die but the rawness of it diminishes , and that the love doesn 't die or diminish at all . Butch is once again celebrating suppertime , and I couldn 't be happier . He won 't stick his muzzle into his food dish ( maybe it 's painful ? ) , but he happily lets me put food in his mouth one spoonful at a time . I had stopped feeding him crunchy kibble sometime last year , but now I 'm softening his meals even more . If the next step needs to be mush , we 'll do that , too . As long as he 's happy and his gum condition isn 't going to cause him to starve , I 'll do whatever needs to be done to keep him comfortable . Levi is now on Day 5 of crate confinement and is doing remarkably well . I haven 't noticed any limping when I let him out for potty breaks , which is a very good sign since most of his limping was happening right after he 'd been resting . I thought he 'd go nuts inside the crate , but he 's occupying himself with naps and toys . In fact , when I bring him back into the house after we 've gone outside , he heads straight for the crate and walks right in it with no coaxing from me . UPDATE WEDS . 4 : 26 PM : The vet looked at the photo of Butch 's gums and said the growth does appear to be an epulis of the non - malignant variety . Fortunately , there are some non - surgical treatments that might help , the first being antibiotics to eliminate any possible infection . She gave me a prescription to start him on tonight and said he should be eating better by tomorrow . If not , then infection isn 't what 's keeping him from eating , and I will have to take him in tomorrow afternoon so they can get a good look at what 's going on . She said that without surgery these tumors sometimes grow so long that they completely encase the dog 's teeth . Most dogs , when that happens , will simply chew off the surplus . That 's gross , I know , but it 's an alternative Butch and I can live with . I had expected to be announcing this week that a new dog had joined our family . His name is Barkley , he 's another Goldendoodle , he 's about two months older than Levi , and , in fact , he 's Levi 's brother from another mother . Barkley belongs to my niece , who loves him very much , but he 's a little too big and a little too energetic , and he knocks her babies down when he wags his tail too close to them . I moved his crate into the living room so he 'll have company , but he is not a happy camper . To make matters worse , he started shaking his head violently this morning , so I checked his ears , and one of them appears to be infected . We 're going back to the vet later this afternoon . Butch , in the meantime , has been perkier in the last week than he 's been in at least a year . He 's been so stiff and arthritic that I can 't recall the last time he was able to get up on the furniture , but I looked up the other day and was shocked to see him sitting comfortably on the futon in the den . I don 't know what made him decide to give it a try on that particular day , but he 's been up there several times since then , apparently happy that his attempt was successful . Here he is relaxing on the futon with Lucy : Butch has also been more social lately , spending more time interacting with people and other dogs and less time off by himself sleeping in another room . He seems to be hearing better than he did for months previously , and if I so much as crack open the refrigerator , he is up and coming into the kitchen to investigate . I 've used his interest in food as an indicator that he still finds something positive about life in spite of his blindness , near deafness , and painful joints . All that sounds good , don 't you think ? But there 's a problem . When I took him for a checkup early in November , the vet commented on one tooth that looked really bad , saying he wouldn 't risk putting Butch under anesthesia to pull the tooth ( because of his age ) . He said to watch for any swelling around Butch 's mouth or any signs that he was having difficulty eating . Last night Butch didn 't want his supper . He accepted a treat I offered him later , but promptly dropped it on the floor and left it . I pulled his lips back to check the appearance of the bad tooth , and I couldn 't even find it . Since that veterinary visit less than two months ago , Butch 's upper gum tissue has grown and hangs down to obscure all of his upper back teeth . I have looked on the Internet for pictures of dogs ' mouths that look like Butch 's , and I believe what he has is an epulis . An epulis is a non - malignant tumor that occurs fairly commonly in older dogs . The problem in Butch 's case is that treatment consists of the surgical removal of the epulis . In Butch 's case surgery is not an option . Butch needs to go to the vet , but riding in the car has become pure torture for him . He fights me when I try to get him into the car , and his whole body shakes until he is out of it again . I don 't want to make him suffer more than necessary , and I am afraid he may not come home from his next trip to the vet . I have taken a photo of the growth on his gums and will take it with me when I take Levi today to see if they will / can identify it from the picture . If it is what I think it is , I have a decision to make . Should I have Butch put down now , while he 's in a relatively happy state of mind , or should I wait until he 's in so much pain that death is the only way to make him comfortable ? I don 't want to deprive him of a single happy minute , but this brave animal has already endured so much pain in his lifetime . Is it fair to keep him alive when a long , hard winter may be all the future that lies ahead of him ? We actually had our family Christmas celebration this past Saturday , a week ago today , which was the only day all five of my grown grandchildren could get together at the same time . It was a wonderful day ! Tomorrow will be low key in comparison , but the Christmas spirit hasn 't even begun to abandon me , so it will still be a time to reflect on the reason for the holiday and the joy of spending time with family and friends . The bell ringer , moving several feet in front of his red kettle , watched her intently . Only when I came up behind him to put money in his kettle did he turn around . He thanked me for the donation , wished me a good day , and I wished him the same . " How 'd you do that ? " I asked him , turning around and looking at him closely for the first time . He was a small man , shorter than I , stocky but not fat . I guessed him to be in his mid - 30s , and there was something just a little " off " about his face , starting with an oddly twisted mouth . When he spoke again , I realized it wasn 't just his face that was out of kilter . He laughed out loud . " I told my friend that just the other day . The first three days I was here I got twenty - five phone numbers . " He laughed again , gleefully , turning slightly red , not looking me in the eye . I don 't know why he chose to tell me that story . Maybe he thought I 'd overheard his conversation with the girl , but I hadn 't . I do know that if he expected camaraderie or congratulations for the imaginary notches in his belt , he didn 't get either . Instead , I gave him a little wave and a tight smile ( fake this time ) and moved on into the store . As offensive as I found this little man who was turning charitable bell ringing into his own personal brand of solicitation , I felt sorry for him . He probably got this job through people he knows from the soup kitchen , and he probably won 't keep it long if he continues to pester the pretty , young shoppers . Nor should he . I am loving this book ! It 's funny , irreverent , beautifully written , and full of so much common sense that I keep slapping myself on the forehead and saying , " Of course , that 's the way it is . It 's exactly like that . " This book has been around for a while , so I suspect many of you are already familiar with it . Somehow I missed it until now . If you 've missed it , too , please do yourself a favor and check it out . Soon . I piddle around on the Internet for a while , reading blogs and Facebook posts . One person is glad it 's Friday , and two others want me to copy and repost their status updates , one to show that I love my daughter , the other to honor our men and women in the military . I do love my daughters , both of them , and I do respect those who serve our country , but I never repost anything . That 's a good way to get a computer virus . Besides , I 'm 69 years old and have long since learned that I don 't have to do a thing just because someone asks me to . Last night at bedtime I finished my book . Should I start another one ? No , I don 't want to get absorbed in anything this early in the day . I 'd rather do something that allows my mind to free - float for a while . I don 't want to watch TV , either ; the house is quiet and I like it that way . I could draw , but that would mean dragging the pens , pencils and sketchbook to the end of the sofa where the light is best , and I know that as soon as I sit down on the sofa , Levi will show up with his ball and that please - please - play - with - me look in his eyes . Hmmm . My eyes fall on the bookcase next to the fireplace , the shelves that hold games and jigsaw puzzles . I went on a puzzle binge a few years ago , and the binge ended way before the supply of puzzles did . It 's been at least two years since I 've put one together . I pick up an unopened box and study the picture on the front of it : too bright and flowery to suit my mood on this rainy day . I pick up a few more boxes , looking for something more seasonal . I stop and count the unopened puzzles ; there are seventeen of them . I study the picture on each box top , finally choosing one that shows a sand - colored castle , topped with terra - cotta roof tiles , surrounded by russet - hued trees and a pale blue sky . The table knife I use to open the box isn 't up to the job , but I persist and finally puncture the paper seal . Now that I 've made entry , I slice down one side of the box , then repeat the whole hacking process three more times . I mentally chastise myself for being too lazy to use the right tool for the job and for not being more safety conscious . Then , in the next second , I forgive myself - - as simple to do as it is to say . The puzzle is open . That 's what counts . I take it to the dining room table , have a seat , pull the box close to my chest , and start sifting through it to find every piece that has one straight edge . When I think I have all the edge pieces , I set the box aside and begin assembling the frame of the puzzle . This part is as easy as child 's play . Actually , it is child 's play . Next , I pull out all the pieces that look like they might be part of the castle walls and spread them out on the left side of the puzzle . Then I look for all the pieces that might be roof tiles and lay them out to the right . Piece by piece I fit tabs into notches until all the manmade structures in the puzzle image lie , surrounded by empty spaces , in the puzzle frame . I don 't begin work on the puzzle until late in the afternoon , then I dig out all the pieces that look like sky . Wow ! There 's a big pile of sky . I look at the picture on the box again and see that sky covers nearly half of it . This could get tedious . I notice for the hundredth time that the light in my dining room isn 't very good . Parts of the sky are light blue , and parts of it are white , and in this light it 's hard to see the difference . I get the flashlight out of the drawer and shine it on the sky pieces . Now they all look yellow , which doesn 't help anything , so I put the flashlight away . The only way I can distinguish the light blues from the bluish whites is to hold two pieces side by side , one pair at a time , so I do that , over and over and over , until I have a dozen little five - or six - piece patches of sky . That 's progress , even though I have no idea which patch goes where . My eyes are burning and my shoulders ache . I stop and roll my head around a couple of times , then move my shoulders up and down , forward and back . As I 'm working out the kinks , it suddenly occurs to me that I don 't have to finish this puzzle . I 'm not getting paid to do this , so there won 't be any negative consequences for quitting . No one would even know I did it . It dawns on me that , except for the care and feeding of my animals , I 'm not really responsible to anyone about how I spend my time . My kids and grandkids are grown , so it 's not as if I even have to set a good example . If I want to quit , all I have to do is decide to quit , and I 'm done . The newfound sense of freedom is heady . After a good night 's sleep , I feel fresh this morning . I let the dogs outside and sit down at the dining room table to wait for them . After a couple minutes I glance casually at the puzzle , then at the carefully laid - out pieces of sky , and one of those pieces practically waves at me . " Pick me up , " it seems to shout , and I do pick it up , and its shape pops out at me so distinctly that I know instantly where to put it . There . It fits . Then I recognize the shape of a second piece and a third , and by the time the dogs are ready to come back in , I 'm channeling Chicken Little : " The sky is falling . " Falling into place . This sky is mine . All that 's left is the leafy part of the puzzle . There are orange leaves , yellow leaves , tan leaves , leaves in shadow that appear dark green and even black . I lay out the leaf pieces by color around the perimeter of the puzzle and work systematically . By now I 'm not thinking in terms of tabs and notches ; instead , each piece has arms , legs , and a head on either end . I work with one piece at a time , trying to find a match for an outsized head that slopes to the right or a left arm that looks like an angel 's wing . Minutes stretch into hours , but the end is in sight . There 's one piece left on the tabletop . I pick it up , reach across to drop it into place , and . . . wait , how did this happen ? There are three empty spots in the puzzle . I fit the piece in my hand into one of those places , then start searching for the missing pieces . I look in the box and find it empty , as I expected . I lift up the bottom of the box , then the top . I lift the leaves of the silk plant that sits in the center of the dining table , then pick up the whole plant . I pull out the chairs on either side of me , thinking the pieces might have slid off the table onto the seats . I check the floor and don 't see anything , but I know the colors in the autumn - leaf pattern would blend right in with the flooring , so I go get the broom and drag it carefully toward me from every direction , gaining nothing for my efforts but a little dog hair and a couple of dried leaves . Real leaves , dragged in from outside . They , too , blended right in with the flooring . So that 's it . I 've worked on this puzzle for large chunks of time on three different days and have ended up with two pieces missing . I didn 't quit , but I can 't finish it . And yet , I am done . I 'm satisfied . Where there was anger and frustration the last time this happened , there is now peace of mind . This post is about three puzzles , then : first , the cardboard one I just ( almost ) finished ; second , the mystery of the missing pieces ; and third , an unanswered question : when did it get so easy for me to let go and move on ? The third puzzle is the one that interests me most , because frustration used to be the flag I flew daily . Somewhere along the way between then and now , it seems , I 've learned to tell the difference between mountains and molehills . They say that wisdom comes with age , but I believe it 's perspective , rather than wisdom , that one gains over time . ( Or maybe , if I 'm lucky , wisdom is still in my future . ) All I know is that I 'm 69 years old , and , like everyone else who has lived this long , I 've been through some stuff in my life . Levi 's best pal is Oliver , who has been willing to race through the backyard with him since Day One . Though about one - fifth Levi 's size , Ollie is the alpha dog . He established that at the very beginning of their relationship , and Levi clearly understands it still . Inside the house , the two of them play mind games , mostly centered around Levi 's very large Nylabone . Each dog feigns disinterest in the bone while the other one has it , but the instant the possessor drops his guard , the other dog steals it and runs . The game is an elaborate one , involving much skulking , hiding behind furniture , and approaching stealthily from the rear . Kim and I should probably keep score , but we 're too busy laughing at them . The game continues as enthusiastically as it was played in the beginning , perhaps even more so . Levi has learned from Ollie and has become a better match for him . The two have different styles . Ollie is the champion of ballsy moves , while Levi relies on stealth and vigilance . There is no fighting in this game , no bared teeth or growling . Despite all the trickery and deceit involved , the game is conducted in a spirit of sportsmanship . Levi shifts position . Ollie does , too , staying off to the side and waiting to catch Levi off guard . In a move too quick for the camera , Ollie lunges , grabs the bone , races across the room and slides , home base and all . He is saaaaaafe and he scoooooores ! In a demonstration of fearlessness and dismissal , he turns his back on Levi . But hold on ! Ollie has just abandoned the bone because his mother has called him . ( Interference ? ) He 's only two steps away from it when Levi leaps off the sofa and dashes across the room . In action once again too fast for the camera , Levi grabs the bone and returns with it to his home base . Levi scores ! Ollie , sensing that he has been duped , immediately jumps up next to Levi , beginning the next round with a strategic move known as " feigning indifference . " Online reviews are all over the place on this first novel by P . J . Alderman , but for the low price of the Kindle edition I couldn 't pass it by . When I started reading it last night , I was too sleepy to read more than the first chapter , but not too sleepy to notice that the author had used the word " bobble " - - when I 'm pretty sure she meant " bauble " - - only eight paragraphs in . I find little bobbles like that disruptive because they take my focus away from the story and put it on the words instead . Once I got back into the story , though , it held my interest . In fact , I 'm looking forward to reading more of it in a little while when I sit down with my Kindle and a bowl of hot , homemade soup . The Zentangle ® art form and method was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas and is copyrighted . Zentangle ® is a registered trademark of Zentangle , Inc . Learn more at zentangle . com . The hundreds ( thousands ? ) of Zentangle images online make it obvious that I 'm late to this arty party , but I 'm enjoying it enough that I thought you might like to try it , too . It 's relaxing , it can be done anywhere , and it doesn 't require a huge investment in supplies . Paper , pen , and pencil are all you need . The experts prefer certain brands and types of those supplies , naturally , but you can use whatever you have on hand to try it out and see if you like it . Zentangle basically consists of lines and doodled patterns put together on small sheets of paper , and it 's incredibly easy ( unless you 're a perfectionist , that is ) . The art is in the overall look , not in the individual strokes . Thank goodness , because I mess up a lot of those simple little strokes . I 'm a little embarrassed to put my first efforts up here where you can compare them to some of the strikingly beautiful designs on the rest of the Internet , but I 'll do it in the interest of showing you that even a beginner can achieve some interesting effects . With two exceptions , these are the only ones I 've drawn , and they 're posted in the order in which they were drawn . One exception is my favorite so far , and I 've saved it for the end of this post . It isn 't necessarily the best of the lot , but , for reasons I 'll explain , it holds more meaning than the other ones . The other exception ( I think it was the sixth one I drew ) was messed up beyond repair , so I cut it out of my sketchbook and threw it in the garbage . ( If you think a one - out - of - nine reject rate is too high for a novice , you should have seen some of the failures I created on earlier projects . ) Oh , another thing : I usually encourage you to click on my posted images to enlarge them and see them in greater detail . Not so in this case . Enlarge this set of images only if you want a close - up look at the hundreds of imperfections in these drawings . Sometimes , it seems , smaller images are more forgiving . One more thing I found interesting was that after I had done only a couple of these designs , I started noticing patterns in my environment where I 'd never seen them before . There were patterns everywhere , and it was fun to see them pop out at me after years of blending in with the scenery . The following drawing is my favorite because I sat in my living room and picked out patterns I could see from right there on the end of the sofa . The connected black squares at the upper left ( they 're black squares , not white crosses ) represent a wall hanging made of laquered metal squares connected by black bars . The top center design is my version of tall dried vines that stand in a vase near a doorway . Next to the vines is a silk philodendron , bordered on the right by a pair of drawer handles . Underneath the drawer handles sits a patch of rattan from the baskets under my coffee table . Below the rattan there are four pine cones like those piled up in a dish on the coffee table ( except when Levi messes with them ) . At the bottom right is a design cast into a bronze lamp base . The shape at the bottom left is a curved chair arm with its nailhead trim . The pattern of the actual chair consists of narrow stripes similar to those shown in the center of this chair - arm shape . For the outermost portion of the chair arm , I repeated the amoebic shape of a single large leaf from a botanical print on my wall . See what I mean about patterns everywhere ? About this time last week ten musical notes - - a little snatch of a melody - - wormed their way into my head and played over and over . They were beautiful . I knew I 'd heard them before but had no idea when or where and no way to find out the name of the song . If only I could identify the song , I could download it on iTunes . I hummed those notes all day long . When I lay my head on my pillow that night , the notes continued to play in my mind until I finally fell asleep . In the morning they were gone . I couldn 't remember the music and felt sad that I 'd lost it , but there was nothing I could do about that . I went about my business , humming other tunes as they came to mind . Then , in the middle of the morning , the notes came back , arriving in my brain as suddenly as they had the day before . The difference was that this time the first six notes were accompanied by five words of the lyrics : " I will always love you . " I googled those words and shouldn 't have been surprised when the search turned up pages and pages of references to " I Will Always Love You , " the song made famous first by Dolly Parton and then by Whitney Houston . That 's a beautiful song , too , but not the one I was trying to find . I looked through several pages , then gave up . The tune continued to play repetitively , then , late that afternoon , another few words of the lyrics fell into place . Now I had words to go along with all ten notes : " I will always love you the best I can . " Back to Google I went and eventually matched those words to a set of lyrics that seemed familiar . The lyrics had a title , of course , so it didn 't take long after that to find the song on YouTube . I listened to it a couple of times , then went to iTunes to buy it . I didn 't want the song to get away from me again . To my surprise , when iTunes opened up to my music list , the title of the song leaped off the screen at me . Apparently , I had already downloaded it a long time ago . I 've since learned that this song was once featured on a " Grey 's Anatomy " episode , so I must have gone through the same or a similar process to find it after watching that show . I usually listen to my iTunes in " shuffle " mode and can 't explain why that song has never made it into the mix . The good news is there are plenty of free photo - hosting sites online , and it 's only $ 5 a year to get 20 GB more photo storage from Google . I decided to go with the latter option ; it 's worth a cent and a half a day to me to keep all my photos together . Once I 'd paid my $ 5 , it was only a matter of minutes until I was able to upload the new image as easily as ever . In last Sunday 's post I mentioned that my daughter Kelli had taken me on an outing to LSU 's Rural Life Museum . I can 't believe I 've lived in this area as long as I have and never visited this enchanting place before now . Makes me wonder what else is nearby that I 'm missing . Today I 'm going to show you a few of the many , many photos I took , just enough to give you an idea of what the museum is all about . I 'll make the images smaller than usual so I can post more of them without bogging everybody down . Be sure to click the images to enlarge them . There is so much more to this place than what I 'm showing you here today : many more exhibits , many more buildings , beautiful trees , lush gardens . If you 're ever in the Baton Rouge area , you owe it to yourself to set aside time to see all this in person . I can 't wait to see it again next spring . It was bedtime . I looked at the two unread books on my nightstand and realized I wasn 't in the mood for either of them , so I reached for my Kindle . I knew there were at least two more unread books on there , and if they didn 't suit me , I could download one that did in half a minute . The battery was dead . My older daughter , Kim , called me Monday evening and mentioned that she was going to buy groceries . Later , about nine o ' clock , I suddenly thought of something I 'd forgotten to tell her , so I called her back and learned that she had been trying to call me at that same moment . She was calling from her car , in which she was trapped following a collision . An off - duty paramedic sat in her backseat , holding her head steady , as she talked alternately to me , to him , and to the investigating officers . I hung up and called my younger daughter . She and her husband live slightly closer to the accident scene than I do , and they got there first . Kim was still in her car when Kelli and Troy arrived , but by the time I got there five minutes later , she had been placed on a stretcher board and was being moved into an ambulance . She was driven to the hospital , and we followed . The driver of the pickup truck attempted to back it away from the scene , but the truck was stuck to Kim 's car , so the driver and passenger jumped out of the truck and fled on foot . A witness described them to the police , who gave chase and caught both of them . The truck driver was determined to have a blood alcohol level much higher than the legal limit and is still in jail as I write this . The ER doctors checked Kim over and released her with a prescription , instructions on how to keep the swelling down , and the advice to follow up with her personal physician . We left the ER and drove very carefully to Kelli 's house , where Troy had taken all the groceries Kim had bought right before the accident . Then we went to Kim 's apartment to pick up Lucy and Oliver and enough clothes for her to stay at my house for a few days . I don 't think either of us slept a wink that night . Finally , a day of calm . With much to be thankful for , we went to Kelli and Troy 's for Thanksgiving dinner . The weather was beautiful , the food was delicious , and being with all the kids and grandkids was delightful . Kelli came Friday morning to take me on an early birthday outing to LSU 's Rural Life Museum . A calm , peaceful place hidden away in one of Baton Rouge 's busiest areas , it features a warehouse jam - packed with antique items and a small village of furnished cabins and other buildings . The outdoor setting was beautifully picturesque , and Friday 's weather was perfect for a walk back through time . My birthday arrived with a cloudy sky and rain that lingered throughout the day . Kim was still here with me . We had planned to celebrate together , but late Friday night I had asked if it would hurt her feelings if what I really wanted more than anything was to spend the day at home . I 'm not used to being on the go so much , and I couldn 't think of a better thing to do on my birthday than to return to my usual , quiet existence . So that 's what we did . She spent most of the day online reading car ads , while I alternated between visiting with her , visiting with my sister on the phone , reading , napping , and pampering our assortment of dogs . We had take - out sesame chicken for dinner and went to bed early . It was great ! Sunday , 11 / 27 Kim went home this morning . She has a list of things to do tomorrow and needs to figure out what to do when . She 's still quite stiff and sore , has ugly purple bruises on multiple areas of her body , and still has sharp pains in her chest , especially when she coughs , sneezes , or moves in a certain way . I 'm pretty sure she 'll get those chest pains checked out in the next couple of days , but she hates to complain when her injuries could have been so much worse than they appear to be . " Admit it . You aren 't like them . You 're not even close . You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them , watch the same mindless television shows as they do , maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes . But it seems that the more you try to fit in , the more you feel like an outsider , watching the ' normal people ' as they go about their automatic existences . For every time you say club passwords like ' Have a nice day ' and ' Weather 's awful today , eh ? ' , you yearn inside to say forbidden things like ' Tell me something that makes you cry ' or ' What do you think deja vu is for ? ' Face it , you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator . But what if that girl in the elevator ( and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work ) are thinking the same thing ? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger ? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle . Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence . Trust your instincts . Do the unexpected . Find the others . . . " - - Timothy Leary She cared for those trinkets as if they were cherished heirlooms , rarely displaying them in public . She stored them in protective velvet sacks , drawing them out only when she was alone or in the company of those she trusted to understand why the simple objects mattered . And as careful as she was to protect the trinkets , so she was cautious about sharing her words , and for the same reasons . LN All rights reserved . Please don 't copy text or photos without my written consent . That being said , you can link to this blog from your site anytime you want . |
Below is some information copied from a site called " The Shadows " as well as many tales of the shadow man . ( Sorry for the way the stories are bordered though - I really couldn 't help that , since it 's copied . ) Thanks for understanding ! : ) " It 's taken some time for me to finally address a clearer picture of what the thing I 've coined to be called " The Hat Man " and what he 's about . Each time I took a step towards even researching this topic , people close to me would start having odd dreams or terribly bad luck come their way . I was also in the process of writing about more positive experiences like holy encounters with Jesus , so to take a look into something less than positive just didn 't seem right for some time . So , who is the Hat Man ? Seems this Hat Man is indeed related to the " dark side " as the Shadow People are even with similar agendas , but he can come at precise times in a person 's life . . . or not . The Hat Man 's gear consists of what can be described as him wearing a long - black trench coat , three - piece suit , white collared shirt , and a flat rimmed gaucho hat . Some have even reported seeing a gold watch hanging on his side on a chain . Some people describe seeing red eyes , others see solid black eyes if they see any eyes at all under the shadow of his hat . He 's described as being pale , tall , thin and may or may not have a noticeable goatee and thin moustache . He may grin , tip his hat , or stare undeniably at a person at length or briefly . He appears in most any location , but most commonly is reported in people 's bedrooms as they sleep at night . A feeling comes over the person where they wake up to find him watching them nearby . Shadow People like to choke , scare , absorb fear and cause it . This Hat Man can do and will do these same things , but is mostly known for and seen as an observer who appears and quickly leaves . Sometimes the timing is significant , while other times it can leave you scratching your head about why he came at all . If there is anything of importance I 'd like to say about a person seeing this Hat Man , is that it is a worldwide phenomenon . Him showing up doesn 't necessarily mean you are about to die or someone close to you will . " And now for some personal accounts from people around the web . . . The image that story implanted in George 's head manifested itself into his life a few years later . " I had my own vision of this same man , " George said . " He was pure evil with a very cold deep look in his eyes . I had to rebuke him in the name of Jesus to go away . It was very frightening . " " Years later , my mom started to tell me of a vision that had woken her up in the middle of the night of a man standing at the foot of her bed , " he said . " I was in shock . It was so chilling we were talking about the same old man . " But George had never told his mother of his encounter and he doesn 't want to have another one . " I haven 't seen him since that one time in Alaska , " George said . " I wonder , what does it mean ? Who is this man many people see ? Whoever he is he is pure evil and nothing good . Maybe he 's a worker for Satan to test us . " George and his mother had seen an entity many have dubbed The Hat Man . This being is generally a shadow - black , slightly out - of - proportion , sometimes two - dimensional entity that often wears a trench coat , cape , or long out - of - date suit , and can appear and vanish without a trace . This usually - threatening entity has been labeled a ghost , a Shadow Person or a demon - such as this explanation from an anonymous reader of " From The Shadows . " " The men of darkness - or men of old , or men of perdition - do not reveal themselves . They are revealed by another to warn those that they come to discourage of their presence , " Anonymous wrote . " They have no fear of men . They only fear the One that has the power to send them to the abyss before the time . They flee at the mention of the Name that is above all names . " Denise lounged on the sofa in her grandmother 's house one day when she was 17 and saw something at the window . " I didn 't care about that because I did think it was just an impression , " she said . But it wasn 't . " I got up and went to the kitchen to drink water and was coming back , and I had the clear impression of a man in the window with a very long hat and a long coat . It was possible even to see the contour of his face , but it was not a human face , ( it was ) a horrendous one with a bad smile . " Then the image vanished quickly enough Denise doubted she had seen it - until she spoke with her grandmother and aunt who were chatting in the next Copyright 2009 by Jason Offutt Anonymous said . . . My sister and I saw the hat man several times as children in West Virginia . The description of the curtain moving gave me chills , it is so very reminiscent of my experience . Anonymous said . . . I saw him 2 years ago , out of the corner of my eyes . He moved from one room of our house and went into a room we use as a spare room . We found out later that our cat had leukemia . Sometimes I think these entities are forerunners for disaster and death . Anonymous said . . . My retired mother and father moved to small town in western Montana , located in the Flathead Valley back in the early 1990 's , that her father used to live in before he passed away . My mother and father 's health was not real great at the time , as my father was suffering from the early stages of Alzheimer 's and my mother had her own health issues ( both have since passed away , my father in 1992 and my mother in 1996 ) . One night at around 3am , she awoke in the darkened living room where she had fallen asleep in the couch watching TV , having shut the TV off before falling asleep a few hours earlier . She was startled and frightened when she awoke to see a man dressed in a black suit , wearing a black derby style hat , with no visible face standing next to the couch starring down at her . Paralyzed in terror and disbelief , she gazed back thinking she was dreaming or imagining this figure . She said this went on for a minute or two before the figure eventually vanished . She was still shaken when she told me the story the next day . Very creepy , I hope to never have such an experience . She was a braver women than me , I would have been out of there ! Anonymous said . . . I saw this man . I was up late one night , when I heard what sounded like footsteps on the outside deck . I opened the curtains slightly to look , this was hard because I was terrified . What I saw was a tall man in large trench coat and hat standing on the neighbor 's roof . He was standing very tall , and his coat was flapping in the wind . He appeared to be staringWhile I deeply loved my childhood house , there was this tangible heavy psychic atmosphere that was felt by visitors . Firstly , the house was built directly over the main underground sewerage pipe for the area that cut straight through the center of the lounge - room . My parents received a discount on the land as a result . In addition this the domestic violence that occurred created an interactive web of negative emotions , fear , powerlessness and despair . All family members suffered from vivid reoccurring nightmares yelling out from their sleep , often with bedclothes found strewn around the room . My nightmares ceased 25 years after leaving the house . When ' The Shadow Man ' first manifested , it was primarily around my mother . My two younger brother 's sensed it , but it was only my mother and I who ever experienced him physically . My mother is prone to hynogogic episodes . Some of them had involved a dark creepy male presence who visited her in her bedroom . This occurred after she had switched off the light and often while she was still awake . She would feel ' him ' pressing down on the end of her bed as if the mattress was being pushed down by an invisible force , or him pressing on her legs through the bedclothes . Reilly Street , Liverpool : When I was 18 years old I was staying at my mother 's townhouse . I was lying on my back trying to get to sleep , but I couldn 't because I always felt unsafe . So feeling restless , I had turned over onto my stomach and lay awake . Then I felt something tugging at the bedclothes while slowly working its way up my back and around to the back of my shoulders . I froze , terrified and hardly believing what was happening . While time seemed to stand still along with my breathing , the experience may have only been 10 seconds in duration . The minute it stopped , I sat up and I seemed to hear a shriek disappear into a space in the center of the room . I jumped up and ran from the room . It had felt like something was ' tucking me into bed ' . This single event changed the way I thought about ghosts forever . I was fully awake . The tugging of the clothes was physical . It was not a hallucination . I slept in my mother 's room for 2 weeks . Several years later , I was questioning my mother on the creepy presence that she had felt at Rose Street . I also talked about the experience of being tucked in . I said , " Do you remember the time that something tried to tuck me into bed at the townhouse ? " She said , " Oh yeah , the thing that pulls the sheets up around your neck . " I said , " What do you mean ? Did it happen to you ? " She said , " Yeah , several times . " She had not told me this before . I said , " Like what did it do ? " She said , " Oh nothing much . It just tugs the bedclothes up around your neck . " I said , " . . Thanks for telling me ! " It only happened to me the once . Apparently , it had happened to her a number of times . " These are just a few of hundreds of stories like this . Stay tuned to this blog , for more tales of the mysterious hat man ! And in the meantime . . . It was during the late 1950s in a Mexican town called Guadeloupe Victoria . My grandmother lived alone and one of her grown daughters ( my aunt ) and her husband were staying with her . It was late at night . The husband had been shot in the leg and developed gangrene . He was very ill and feverish , and both women were trying to nurse the injured and unconscious man back to health . Suddenly , they heard a very loud and urgent knocking at the door . " BAM ! BAM ! BAM ! " My grandmother called out , " Quien ? " ( which means " who " or " who is it ? " in Spanish ) but no one responded . Again , the loud banging rocked the little house , and again , my grandmother called out , " QUIIIIIEEEEN ? " a bit louder , and now a little irritated that someone was banging on her door but not answering her . My grandmother was tough as nails and was not spooked by the loud banging , but thought it might be a neighbor 's kid playing games . She waited until the banging came again , then opened the door quickly , trying to catch the perpetrator . As the door swung open , a large rock fell with a THUD at my grandmother 's feet . . . but there was no one there ? ? She looked down the dark street and saw a woman in a long black dress and black scarf over her head , rushing away . By this time , my aunt was standing at the door as well , and they both called after her in Spanish saying , " Senora , senora , what did you want ? " but she just kept going ! As the figure rounded the corner , it turned to face the women . . . It was , in fact , a woman 's face , but it was HUGE , white , and shaped like a long , flat watermelon . My grandmother describes the woman 's chin as stretching down past where her breasts would have been , and her eyes were solid black with no white ! They also noticed she was not walking , but gliding ! Both women were scared senseless and they quickly locked the door and began to pray . About an hour after the incident , my aunt 's sick husband passed away . Grandma always said it was death who came to her door that day . " My younger brother Junior , was only a year old and had become very ill . He had a high temperature , and was very miserable . It was around 1am in the morning and my mother woke me up . She wanted me to run into town with her , so we could get Jr . some juice , baby aspirin and cough syrup . We went to the all night store in downtown Cannon Falls and headed back home . As soon as we got on to Hwy 19 ( approximately 50 yards on to it ) there appeared behind us , a pair of very bright headlights . . . My mother had me along because she was basically , a night blind driver . So she was very upset to say the least , about this idiot behind us with their bright lights on ! So instead of dealing with this bozo , mom decided she would just pull over to the shoulder , so the vehicle could just pass us . But instead of just going by , it also pulled over and stayed the same distance behind us ! Well now mom was ticked , and she floored the Suburban . We were flying down the highway , but the vehicle stayed right with us . It never got any closer or further behind , but trailed us at the same distance ( Approximately 50 yards ) . This kept up even when we came to our dirt road , but mom didn 't slow down , because now she was scared ! She , nor I , could understand what this person was up to , and to make matters worse , my father was out of town at this time - he drove a long haul truck . When we got to our driveway ( which was very long - more like a road in front of the house ) the car pulled in behind us , as we got to the front of the house . We both ran inside & locked the door , and then we put our outside yard light on . Looking out our picture window , we could see the front of the vehicle only . It appeared to be an older vehicle , you know with the lights on each front fender with an oblong grill , that 's all we could see of it . Mom decided we should call the police , but as I reached for the phone , mom yelled at me to come back to the window and told me to " Look ! " Several years earlier , when I was traveling in India , my father had died suddenly . As I could not be contacted for almost a week , I missed his funeral . So , when I eventually came back to live in England , one of the first things I did was to visit his grave . My sister accompanied me to show me where it was located . After we had laid flowers on his grave , my sister remembered that this was the same graveyard in which our aunt Letty was buried . Letty had been the black sheep of the family and had been , by all accounts , " a bit of a character " . She had died when my sister and I were young teenagers , but we had fond ( if somewhat vague ) memories of her from our childhood . We decided we would find her grave and " say hello " . The graveyard was huge , and it had changed a great deal since I had last visited it , so I left it to my sister to locate Letty 's grave . However , after searching through the rows of headstones for over twenty minutes , we still hadn 't found Letty , and it was getting quite late . We were just about to give up when suddenly , a woman 's voice called out " Over here - I 'm over here ! " . We both looked up in the direction of the voice , but we could see no one . " It 's someone playing , just kids " my sister remarked , and walked over to the spot where the voice had seemed to come from . I followed her , feeling a little uneasy - but there was nobody to be seen . In fact , the whole graveyard appeared to be deserted now ! The hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end , and when I looked at my sister I saw that she had gone white . " This is it ! " she said , pointing down at the gravestone at our feet . With my heart pounding in my chest , I looked at the headstone and read my aunt 's name on it . . . I can 't begin to describe to you how petrified I was - we both were - as we practically ran out of that graveyard , clutching onto each other . This is a true story . There is no possibility of our having imagined that voice , or what it said , as we both heard the same thing . My sister and I have talked about it many times , and tried to find a less ghostly explanation for what happened on that day , but the only conclusion we can ever come to , is that Letty wanted us to find her grave ! " Thanks for visiting ! See y ' all next time ! ~ Queenie ~ ; ) " My aunt was a very gifted psychic . She and her younger sister , ( my mother ) had seen their share of remarkable things as children in a remote and heavily forested region of the Appalachian mountains and knew that there was more to this world than readily meets the eye . Still , out of a sort of reverence for two things - - the mysterious nature of reality and the sovereign voyage of discovery that each being goes through , my mother , at least , never shared her experiences or opinions about the supernatural with her children until I had developed an interest in the matter and asked her . What happened at her elder sister 's home when I was about 13 , then , came as a complete shock , and remembering it gives me chills to this day . . . My aunt lived in a trailer on my grandfather 's large farm in Athens County , Ohio . This is a quiet country area with no neighbor for a long , long way . Crickets are all you hear on lovely green summer nights . I would often stay up late with my cousin , her son , watching a movie or listening to him play guitar . We had been watching a movie that night until quite late , I recall , before we both retired . His room was at one end of the trailer , while my aunt 's room was at the other end . My young sister and I were staying with her . My sister was sharing the bed with her , while I had an arrangement of pillows to sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed . Between the two bedrooms was the living room , kitchen and hallway . If you know the general layout of a trailer , it is basically a long rectangle , much longer than it is wide . I had just laid down to sleep on the floor when I heard footsteps near the kitchen along the hallway . . . The door to my aunt 's bedroom where I lay was open , so I was readily able to see that no lights had been turned on by , who I assumed must have been my cousin , as he made his way along the hallway , perhaps to the kitchen for a late night snack . Hey , it was his house , maybe he didn 't need the lights to get as far as the kitchen and then perhaps have the benefit of the open fridge light to go by . The footsteps halted and then started again . . . Then the footsteps stopped quite near the entrance to the bedroom where I lay , just outside its door in the hallway . Well , the bathroom entrance was quite near there too , so perhaps that is where my cousin was walking . Suddenly a clearly adult , FEMALE voice said my aunt 's name in a plaintive and forlorn manner . . . I flew from the floor it seemed to the bed where I could clearly see my 7 year old little sister sleeping soundly . The voice was not that of a 7 year old by any means , but it was the only other logical possibility . Watching my sister sleeping away and not moving her mouth in the least , the slow , forlorn call was made from the hallway again . . . " Beh . . . ttie " . I had observed first hand at the same time of the second calling out , that it was indeed not my little sister . At this point , I am lying between my aunt and my little sister , scared out of my wits when my aunt calmly asks aloud " I wonder who 's trying to contact me ? " . Seven years prior , my aunt 's younger sister had been killed in an automobile accident . My Aunt Bettie 's son , my cousin , was a great aficionado of cars - the faster the better . He was planning to buy a car which , unbeknownst to him , was the same make and model as the one my aunt 's younger sister had been killed in . It was her , my aunt reasoned , reaching out from beyond to issue a warning to my aunt about her son and the car . He did not buy the car as it turned out - I was never clear if my aunt had said something to him before he decided not to buy the car or if he just had not bought it without her having said anything about it . But . . . I had certainly never heard her ( in life ) in such a slow , sad , plaintive tone of voice , so - I could not say that it was or was not her in any definitive manner . I would say that it could have been her voice , yes . But I also was never 100 % convinced that this had been the nature of the spirit voice 's warning - it seemed awfully dramatic and remarkable of a manifestation for such a simple thing - indeed a thing that never happened ( he didn 't buy the car ) , but , I think I have to defer to my aunt on this one . Perhaps if he had , something dire was foreseen by my aunt 's younger sister and she was coming to warn her about it so they could avert it . I have heard that the " Tibetan Book of the Dead " says that once in the spirit world , we beings are seven times more psychic than we were in life . Perhaps she had a longer view of what was to come , or could have come and got my aunt 's attention in time . " Okay . . . I 'm being brave and posting this story . . . it might get rather long because I do tend to babble … I 'll apologize in advance . In July of 1994 , my much loved Granny died very suddenly . I was shocked and hurt and felt terribly guilty that I hadn 't somehow known and been able to tell her goodbye . Though she was my best friend and we spent countless hours together , I was somehow afraid that she 'd not known how very much I loved her . I spent about two months grieving and feeling guilty when I decided to call her … to call her spirit , if I could , and tell her I loved her . I was afraid that my crying and grieving was preventing her from going on to some better place and I certainly didn 't want that . So , I sat one evening and called to her . I called in my head and out loud . Now , let me say this was difficult for me , as I 've had a couple of horrific experiences with " spirits " who pretend to be someone I love and then show themselves to not be that person at all and to be really quite evil . So , I was afraid one of these " pretenders " might show up , but I didn 't think my Granny would let it hurt me . So , I kept calling . That night , I woke up and saw my Granny standing in my bedroom door . I sat up and held out my arms . I immediately started telling her of my love for her , how I needed her and missed her . I was so caught up in my blathering on and on , that I didn 't notice that something wasn 't right . . . The figure wore my Granny 's pink nightgown and moved toward me with arms outstretched , approaching the side of my bed . When the figure got close enough for me to examine it in the light reflected from the streetlamp , I saw how withered and dried it 's face was , and how it was all stiff … but limp … like it was being supported from behind . I got the sense that it was like . . . her body , being held up by something else . When the fear hit me , I started to cry out , and when I did , the figure opened it 's mouth and let out this awful , low moan that was really loud and really deep and like . . . inside my head . I cried out and the thing disappeared . I knew it had been a pretender . So . . . I stopped trying to contact my Granny for fear of something else showing up . The night before Thanksgiving , I was staying at my parent 's home , rather sad at facing this first holiday season without my Granny . Traditionally , my Granny stayed over at my parent 's home and woke early with my mother to help put in the turkey . We needed my Granny to do this because my mother is notorious for not hearing the alarm and oversleeping . This year , I decided to take my Granny 's job and promised to wake my mom at 3 : 00 AM sharp to stuff the turkey and put it in the oven . As it was after one when I finally laid down on the couch to sleep , I decided to just stay up until 3 : 00 and try to catch some sleep after the turkey was in . I turned off all of the lights , except the light over the stove and left the TV on . At around 2 : 00 am , a favorite film of mine came on and I was pleased that I could get wrapped up in the film as that might help me stay awake . I was right . I was awake . I looked at the clock around 2 : 45 and was relieved that my vigil was almost over . It was at that point , that the hall light went on . . . At first , I thought my mother had actually managed to drag herself out of bed at the right time . It was then that things slowed down . I could hear the TV , even recall the dialogue being spoken . I saw the cat jump up at my feet , I even nudged it out of the way . However , I became focused on the hall . I saw a shadow move down the hall at this incredibly slow speed . It seemed to take forever . It seemed like everything was slowed down , even the voices on the TV were sort of droning . I became very afraid and suddenly knew that this shadow making it 's way down my hall , was definitely NOT my mother ! I wanted to jump up and turn on the lights but just couldn 't . I was literally paralyzed with fear ! Just as the shadow reached the end of the hall and one more step would bring it into my field of vision , I turned my head down on the couch and put the pillow over my head . Everything was very still . It seemed like only moments later that I felt a hand on my shoulder , shaking me as if to wake me up . I suddenly felt really dumb , because I figured that the shadow had indeed been my mom and I 'd just made a total jackass out of myself . I removed the pillow and rolled over , and there stood my Granny . She was wearing her favorite red and white dress . She shook me gently and said , " You have to get up . You have to wake Mommy to put in the turkey , her alarm didn 't go off . " I heard the words . Out loud . The cat jumped on the back of the couch to greet my Granny . I heard in my head that she didn 't want our holiday dinner ruined . I jumped to my knees and leaned over the back of the couch to hug her , I was babbling about how I loved her and missed her . She smiled at me so sweetly and nodded , but when I tried to hug her , she backed away and sort of shook her head . She stepped around the edge of the sofa . I turned to look at the clock . 3 : 15 . I looked back , and she was gone . Just like that . I woke my mother , who was exceedingly grateful to me for waking her . Had I not , dinner wouldn 't have been ready until way late and the holiday would 've been somewhat spoiled . She asked me how I managed to wake her right on time and I said simply , " Granny woke me up . " She believed me , having had such experiences herself . Though I 've had many ghostly encounters , this was by far , my favorite . I was wide awake , I know I was , and my Granny came to me . I 'm only sorry I turned to look at the clock - if I hadn 't I might have had more time with her . " - Donna Herricks " The Haunting Of Hurricane Mills " Legendary country performer Loretta Lynn is no stranger to ghosts and in fact , has spent her entire life in their presence . While her encounters with the supernatural have never received the kind of attention that her performing career has , Lynn is said to be a bonafide psychic and when asked about this , she is always willing to talk about it . . . She first became aware of her uncanny gifts , soon after marrying her childhood sweetheart . She and her husband moved some distance away from her parents and she was very homesick . At the time , she was 14 years - old , pregnant and living out of state , away from home for the very first time . She soon began to know just when her mother was expecting a letter from her and she would also get a premonition as to when letters from her mother would arrive . She would often predict this , to the very day . Over the years , she has had many premonitions that have come true , such as the detailed vision of her father in his coffin . She would learn the following morning that he had died from a massive stroke . Years later , she returned to the house where she had grown up and encountered the ghost of her father , sitting contentedly on the front porch . Suddenly , they found the perfect house , a plantation house near the tiny town of Hurricane Mills . Instantly , Loretta knew this was the house she wanted ! Even though they didn 't even know if the house was for sale at the time , it later turned out to be . . . along with the entire town of Hurricane Mills ! Soon after moving in , the family began to notice some odd things about the house . For one , Loretta began to notice that the adjoining door between her room and her twin daughter 's room would open and close by itself . The twins , ( Peggy & Patsy ) often spoke of seeing people in their bedroom , like women in old - fashioned clothing with their hair piled high on their heads . Another bizarre feature of the house was the " slave pit " , a cramped , dark , cellar with iron bars over the top . It was located under the front porch and years before , it had been used as a place of punishment for disobedient slaves . One night , Lynn and a friend were watching television and heard the sound of someone walking across the front porch . They looked outside but saw no one , even after turning on the porch light . They went back to watching television and the sound came again , although this time , it sounded as though someone were walking and pulling a chain along behind them . They tried to ignore the sounds , but then realized that they were coming directly from the slave pit ! On other occasions , Loretta has been alone in the house and has felt cold , electric shocks as if someone ( or some thing ) has passed right through her . Things have also been heard going up and and down the stairs and pictures on the walls ( no matter how many times they are straightened ) always seem to end up crooked again . Eventually , Loretta decided to try and make contact with the spirits in the house . On one occasion during a séance , a table moved all the way across the room under its own power . Another time , Lynn and several friends make contact with a ghost who called himself Anderson . The group tried to communicate with him further and asked a series of questions . Reportedly , the ghost became angry and began shaking the large wooden table very violently . Suddenly , it jumped off the floor and into the air and then came crashing down so hard that it literally broke in two ! The next day , Loretta spoke to some of the locals in Hurricane Mills to see if they had ever heard of a man named " Anderson " . It turned out that the original owner of the house had been James Anderson and he had been buried on the property , close to the mansion . Needless to say , Loretta never tried to contact that particular spirit again ! If you ever get the chance to watch the documentary , " Secrets Of Hurricane Mills : Loretta Lynn 's Haunted Plantation " on The Travel Channel , do it ! It 's awesome ! To learn more about Loretta and Hurricane Mills , I have included a couple of links below . " Road Trip To Loretta Lynn 's Ranch " |
Hello there ! If you are new here , you might want to subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on this topic . Powered by WP Greet Box WordPress PluginI was looking for a sign . A sign to comfort me when I cried . I wanted and needed a sign - that dad was surrounding me so I could feel him with me . It has been almost five years since mom passed away . The night that my mom lay dying in a hospital room , a sign came to me , but I didn 't know it at the time . We had been in her room for almost 24 hours , waiting for her last breath . After several hours in the room , I needed to step out . I went outside and stood in the dark , with the morning drizzle falling on me . The most heartbreaking thing I 've ever done was waiting for my mother to die . Everything was so quiet in front of the hospital . It was early in the morning before the hustle and bustle started , and it was just me standing alone . As I stood there crying , I saw a single little tree gently swaying in the breeze . I stared at it , with a feeling of comfort , as it continued to move slowly with each light breeze . I stopped crying briefly , and something washed over me . I dreaded going back up to the hospital room , knowing the inevitable awaited me . I watched my mom take her final breath , while I repeated , " I love you Mom , I love you " . They were the last words she heard . The next few days were a combination of shock , sadness , and disbelief . I spent countless hours in the backyard , under the gazebo , where I could be alone and just cry . And oh how I cried . My best friend was gone . Never again would I hear her voice , or her heartwarming laughter . It was a couple of days after she died , I was sitting out back , crying . It was a warm fall day . A soft breeze unlike any other touched me and suddenly washed over me . It was gentle and soothing and it enveloped me . I knew immediately it was mom … and I knew why that little tree swayed the way it did the night she died . I felt mom hugging me and I immediately felt peaceful . Every so often I feel that special " breeze " . I can 't describe it adequately , but I know it is her . It isn 't just any breeze … When dad passed away in June of this year , my world was rocked yet again . It was sudden and completely unexpected . I cry daily , missing him terribly . In the days immediately following his death , I was desperately seeking a sign from him . A sign like I had with my mom . It just wasn 't happening , although I looked everywhere . About two weeks after he passed , I was in the backyard watering the plants , and of course I was crying . I put the hose on the mist setting and I was just watching it , kind of mesmerized . Out of the corner of my eye I saw a gorgeous butterfly . This wasn 't one of the white ones , but a colorful beauty that I rarely see . It floated in front of me , back and forth in the mist , before finally landing on a leaf . I kept expecting the butterfly to move on , but it stayed - flitting around me , and putting on quite a show . Its graceful movements captivated me and warmth rushed all over me . I stopped crying as I realized my sign had found me . I decided to sit down , since the butterfly apparently was in no hurry to leave , and I smiled through tears as it weightlessly flew back and forth in front of me , for the longest time . Last week , we held dad 's memorial service at the fairly new VA Cemetery . As we drove up , we marveled at the beauty of it . The sun was shining , and the beautiful lake and green grass that seemed to go on forever , were breathtaking . Dad had picked a serene resting place . We were instructed to get in our cars and drive in procession . My husband was driving and I was in the passenger seat . We were waiting for the cars ahead of us to start moving , when a beautiful butterfly appeared and sailed in front of our car . It went back and forth in front of us , but in no big hurry . It was happy , it was free , it was home . I smiled and softly said , " I love you , Dad " . Even though I am sobbing right now , I loved this post . You are so lucky to have gotten those signs from your parents . I lost my dad in April and I am still looking for a sign . I am so sorry you have been through this with both of your parents . I am still in so much pain over the loss of my father , I can 't imagine having to go through this again . I am so sorry for your losses . I am so , so very sorry about your dad . I know the pain you are in . If you ever need to talk or cry or anything , I am here okay ? This post is so amazingly beautiful ! I 'm so sorry about your parents , Jennifer , but I 'm also so glad that you have found signs from them that help you get through the tough times . I hope that you continue to find comfort and know that they are both with you . Thank you so much … the signs help so much . It took so much longer for his " sign " than moms . Thank you for your comforting words … This made me cry - such a beautiful and well - written post . I have yet to lose a parent , and I can 't even imagine what you 're going through . Hugs to you . One exception was when my Uncle die , my dad and I both had very similar dreams on the same night , shortly after his death . Apologizing and thanking us for supporting my Aunt . ( Before his death we hadn 't spoken to her for years ) . That is so strange about the dreams on the same night ! I find that I dream about my mom ( and remember them ) when I am napping . Some are so vivid . I 've only had one dream about my dad so far … I had a cousin who died years ago . He was one best buddy I have . I lost track of time due to work , I forgot what it 's like when he was with me . I got some trouble having some dealings with a certain situation wherein I needed help . I thought I have no friends at all . Until he showed me in the dream . It got me right on the spot . I did the most daring thing to set things right . I did managed to solve that one and I noticed the day I achieved success , it was his birthday ! Seems creepy but I shed tears and apologized for the lost time I haven 't remembered him . I missed him a lot . And I thank him for the dream he showed me . It gave me the will to be just like him before and remembered his golden advices in terms of achieving the best good thing that 's worth fighting for . I still have my mom , but I lost my dad 3 years ago and it took me 2 years to come out of the darkness on that . But he did appear to me twice in dreams . He looked younger and refreshed so it wasn 't instant recognition , but I hugged him in the dreams and I felt peace knowing that he was ok and healed and happy . Thinking about you … Losing a parent really does throw your world into a tailspin . Hardest thing ever ! How neat that you hugged him in your dream - I want a dream like that ! What a gorgeous post ! I am totally teared up now . My mother lost her mom the year before she had me . ( They tried for 4 years to have me , and I was born almost to the day her mother passed . ) To her and her sisters whenever they see an eagle , they know it is her mother . You see , this eagle doesn 't show up where you would expect to see it . And also shows up when they need it most . The eagle is a beautiful sign … and the signs only show up every so often , which makes them even more special . How neat about your Grandfather … and that you have the picture of him doing that is priceless . Thank you so much for commenting ! What a beautiful post Jennifer . I don 't have any experience in such a loss - no one close to me has died in over 30 years . I guess I am probably living on borrowed time so I hope that when this does happen , I will be able to remember your post and keep and eye out for a sign to help me cope . You do know you were one of the friends I was referring to in my last post - You are such an unbelievably special person in my life . I hope we will have more time together soon - I love going to events with you because you " get " me and laugh with me … and at me of course . Miss you - stay strong ! I do know that 🙂 We have to get together soon - even if it 's not a blogging event . We can do a getaway somewhere . I can make the trip down there and we can leave from there . Sounds like you need some girl time ! It 's a powerful thing to be able to recognize those signs . I truly believe in them - each can be so comforting and bring a sense of peace to the moment . I love that you shared your experience with signs , it 's a personal piece of you , though still pretty raw , and I can only imagine how good it felt to put it all into words . * hugs * When my uncle and Godfather passed , I woke up with a chill in a dead sleep . I went downstairs to warm by a heat vent and had some really strange visions of my grandparents in their old house . I could actually SMELL the butterscotch and peppermint candy they used to dole out to us grandkids . Even though my grandparents had been gone for many years , I could SEE every room in their house ; the rocking chair , starburst and cat clock they had . The nubby chenille bedspreads on the beds . It was like I was walking through their home again , but with my uncle by my side . My mom called just hours later and said my uncle ( her brother ) had passed . I asked her what time and she said around 4 : 30 am . The same time I was awoken . Later I was asked to write something for his funeral . I could not think of a single thing to write , went out on our deck on a rainy night and begged God for some inspiration . I wrote a poem in about a half hour , sealed it and gave it to a nun at the visitation that night , who was going to read it . At the funeral , she read the poem about all the things I spoke about , his love of playing cards , his family , his love of the land and farming , trout fishing at a nearby stream , fixing up their home himself , and tipping a few beers with friends , … at just the same time a cloth uncovered a memorial that his grandkids had constructed ( something I had no idea they were doing ) Below the velvet cloth lay , a deck of cards , a hammer , family pictures , a fishing pole , a Wisconsin Badger beer mug , and lastly , an ear of corn . I nearly passed out . That was over 25 years ago and the first point really that had NO choice but to BELIEVE . Not just in a God that hears , but also in the spirit of those who are there forever with us . When my Dad passed 6 years ago , we had to laugh . During the service the CD player cut out and there was actually a slight loss of power , RIGHT when my Dad 's favorite song was playing … ( Danny Boy ) . We knew it was DAD ! He was an amazing fix it man and knew he was somehow tinkering with things that day . At the cemetery there was a huge hawk that kept dive - bombing people and we laughed that it was him somehow . He was also a smart aleck with a great sense of humor so we really do believe this was him coming back . He also loved Eagles and other great and powerful birds . The Eagle always signified his beloved and only brother who died very young , and was an air force fighter . My dad was buried right with his brother . That bird or another like it is STILL there now guarding the two brothers , now together for eternity . Eileen what fabulous stories … and about the time of your uncle passing . A dear friend of my family - when I called her to tell her my dad had died , she asked what day . I told her two days ago . She asked what time and when I told her , she was shocked and said she hadnt thought about him in a few weeks , but on the day he died , at the same time , she was sitting in her living room and thought about him wondering how he was doing . She said she got chills immediately and does each time she thinks about it . Jennifer , I forgot to add that I am so sorry for your loss . I have read posts about your mom , I am not even sure I heard that your dad passed . For real , I do believe in the signs . Just know your parents will always be with you . My grandma passed away and sometimes my mom has dreams that she 's talking with her . She believes this is grandma 's way of communicating with her . It 's strange because I hardly ever remember my dreams but I 've had dreams where I 'm sitting at grandmas house and we 're just watching tv like we used to do . It 's really comforting . So to me it 's a sign she 's still with me ! My grandmother died when I was in highschool but now over 10 years later I still know she is around . She would always joke that she would come back and be a fly on the wall and listen to us all . At the cemetary it was a cold rainy day and there was a fly buzzing around . We all knew it was her . After that I never saw any sign untill one day shortly after graduating college . My grandfather passed away the night I graduated college . Everyone rushed back home and I flew back the next day . When I got back to my new apartment after the funeral services i was a mess . I had graduated college , Had no job , an apartment my boyfriend and I couldn 't afford without me finding a job , I felt guilty for having everyone visiting me up at college when my grandfather passed away . I went to take a nap before I resumed my job hunt . In my dream my grandmother came and sat on the edge of my bed and gave me wonderful words of encouragement saying that her and my grandfather were together and so proud that I was the first in the family to graduate . When I woke up , I was actually already sitting up and I swear I saw an impression on the blanket like someone had been sitting there . I ran out to the livingroom and told my boyfriend I had a dream that I was talking to my grandmother ( by this point I was hysterical crying ) and he just clamly told me I wasn 't crazy that it must have been her coming to me because she knew I needed her . Since then I often see huge fly 's year round ( even inside when its like a blizzard outside ) whenever I am super stressed or sad . The fly will land right on me and I will feel a comforting wave come over me . My boyfriend and I are constantly yelling at our one cat to " stop chasing grandma ! " . Somehow she always evades him : ) The year after I graduated college one of my best friends from home was in a bad car accident . I woke up one morning feeling like something was off . I checked my email and there was a msg from my mom saying to call her after I got home from work . Of course I called my mom right away and didnt wait . She told me Janeen was in a car accident and was in a coma and I should book a flight home ASAP . My mom didn 't know many details but did know her fiance was released from the hostpital already but the fiances father had passed away already . I flew out the next morning , but that night I had a dream that Janeen was at a yankee game and I was sitting a few rows behind her and she turned around and I saw that the right side of her head was shaved . She told me it was ok , and she smiled . When i finally made it home and went to see her sure enough the right side of her head was shaved . As the days went on she got worse and worse . I was staying at my parents house . I prayed to her one night . I told her if she couldn 't hang on anymore to just go , it was ok , all her family had made it into town and we knew she was hurting . Then I asked her to give us a sign - if she was still in her body let us know , or let us know somehow that she was leaving it . Early the next morning we found out she had a seizure overnight and after that her brain activity flatlined . That and the rosary beads that were around her neck had disappeared . We like to think she took them with her . She was in a special wing that only had 4 or 5 beds and only immediate family could get in unless you had special permission - so its highly unlikely that someone could have stolen them . What beautiful stories ! The fly is your sign , and it 's amazing that even a fly can be a sign . I got chills when I read the part about an imprint on the bed … she was definitely there with you . Our loved ones will always send us signs , but like you said you must be still to receive them ! Butterflies have always been the sign in my family ! I 'm glad you were able to get to the place where you could share something so touching with so many , I know from firsthand experience , that 's not so easy to do ! Sending Hugs your way ! This brought tears to my eyes . Your description of waiting for your mom to pass , is exactly what we went through with my dad in 2002 - has it been that long ? - There is no feeling in the world worse than that feeling of just being there waiting for someone you love so much to die , yet hoping beyond hope that the nightmare you 're living is all a dream and he will just miraculously wake up and be fine . A few months after my dad passed I started having dreams about him . I would have such vivid dreams that he was trying to tell me something so important almost every night , they were so real that I would wake up crying and confused . I haven 't had any dreams of him in the past few years though , I miss them because at least I could feel that he was near . Maybe I need to open my eyes and look for those signs a little closer instead of trying to push the feelings of sadness away . Losing a parent is so very hard ! I 'm so sorry for your loss of your Mom and Dad , but happy for you to be at peace and comforted with your signs ! Henrietta , thank you so much for your comment . It amazing how time does fly , even with something so sad . There really is no worse feeling that waiting for someone to pass … it is horrible . I have only dreamt of my dad once , but I am hoping I will dream of him more . I hope you find your sign … I read this post when you first wrote it and I wasn 't sure what to say , I got goose bumps . But it brought me back to when my dear brother past when he was only 21 . We were all getting ready for the funeral and suddenly all the coffee mugs started rattling in my Mom 's cupboard . WE knew it was him telling us to get going , lol . I 'm so happy you find peace with the butterfly that comes , souls are amazing ! what a beautiful post . I 'm so sorry about your parents 🙂 I lost my dad when I was 16 , my mom 6 years ago and my brother in 1996 . It would be so long to write here all the signs I 've had . They ARE there , when you 're open to seeing them . My best one was my brother . I was so devastated when I lost him & I wanted a sign , a definite sign . A friend of mine was telling me about how her husband that passed collected marbles & after he died , she started finding marbles in very unexpected places . In my grief , crying one night , I said " ok , Rick , you send me a marble & I 'll know for a fact that you 're with me , and that you 're ok . " The next day , I was digging up my garden to plant my spring flowers . I dug up a shovel of dirt & there it was - a marble . I 've lived here 28 years & dug in that same spot thousands of times . I have no children that would be playing with marbles & no children around that would be . I sat down in the dirt , laughed , cried & smiled & from that day forward , I 've been 10000 % positive that my brother sent me that marble . Your post moved me . It is beautiful and poignant , and moved me . I thankfully still have my parents so I can 't feel exactly what you feel , but I can only imagine . It is obvious from your words , that you were an amazing daughter and your mom and dad were / are very proud of you . Thank you so much for your kind words ! I miss them terribly … they were the sweetest people ever . I am so happy that you still have your parents . Give them a great big hug ! Thank you for commenting - I appreciate it ! My youngest brother was injured in an accident when he was 21 years old , in a town about 200 miles away from our hometown . The whole family went to the hospital , where he lay in a coma for three days . On the last day , I was sleeping in the intensive care waiting room . I had a dream about my brother , who was whole and well , walking across a green field to a fence on the other side . On the other side of the fence where lots of people who had already passes on , waving and smiling at my brother , and holding out their arms to greet him . He looked back at me , smiled and waved , then turned and continued to walk towards the people waiting for him on the other side . Just about that time , I woke up , and the doctor was looking for my mother and father , to tell them that my brother had died . From that moment on , even now , I know my brother came to me in that dream to say goodbye , and that he is in a happy place , well and with people who love him . If he had lived , he would have been paralized from the neck down , and I can not imagine him that way . I am so sorry about your brother . What a beautiful dream though and the timing of it does sounds like he came to you to let you know that he was happy . Thank you so much for sharing I got to this site because i was looking for info on something that happened to a photo of my brother yesterday ( Christmas day or maybe even today , the day after ) . My brother died a few days after Thanksgiving 2011 - his son and wife and my sister and her husband came to our home for a Christmas dinner and annual gift exchange . My nephew , my departed brother 's son brought me some of my brothers belongings to see if I wanted them , one was a beautiful framed print by Robert Redbird , I hung it this morning , ( the day fater Christmas ) I kept looking at it because I felt there was something about it - I wondered if maybe I had given it to him years ago and I asked him for a sign . I sat there staring at the print for a long time and when I left the room I looked over at a photo of my departed brother that I had displayed in my livingroom . It was covered with several very white splotches that I knew weren 't there yesterday because I had just dusted it yesterday . I wondered if the spots were on the outside on the glass , but they weren 't . The picture was removed from the frame and the spots could not be felt when the photo was touched but they were there only on my brother 's face and mostly on his eyes and glasses . I have had that photo there for a few years , and I know those spots were never there before . I showed it to my daughter and even she said , " Wow those spots weren 't there yesterday " , because we all looked at it when my brother 's daughter - in - law entered the room and commented on his photo . I think he was watching us all as we exchanged gifts - and I am so happy he did . What a neat story ! I am sure that was him watching - isn 't that strange that the spots appeared suddenly ? I am so sorry for your loss . I hope the signs will come to you and comfort you . My beloved Paw - paw passed three years ago in October . It was was about a three year process from the time he collapsed on his daily 10 mile bike ride , to the time he took his last breath . He had remarried and due to situations out of his & our control , a man who could have recovered and gone home , was medicated and kept in a nursing home to deteriorate . I left each visit feeling all Erin Brockovich - feeling like I had to do something to help him . We talked with his attorney - there was nothing we could do . I slowed my every other day visits - to about once a week . I couldn 't watch it . In the end I stopped going completely . Selfish I know - he had to live it and I couldn 't even be there to walk it with him . One day , after shopping at the mall , I felt funny - hard to explain . I felt heavy . I cried on the way home for no reason . I dropped the fam at the door and drove straight to the cemetery where my great - grandparents were resting . I had no idea why I was headed there - it was almost like my car was on auto pilot . It 's very scenic there , I thought maybe I just needed some nice scenery . Still crying , I was saying aloud to myself " I want to go home " over and over . In my mind , I knew what home was , it was death , but I had no idea why I was feeling that - I didn 't want to die . I felt like I was loosing my mind . So I drove to where my great - grandparents lay . I asked them to help me figure this out - to send me some kind of sign . I realized that even if they could send me a sign , they weren 't going to be hanging out at their grave . I told them I loved them and decided to drive around and pull myself together before returning home . Still I kept saying " I want to go home " . I found myself in an older part of the cemetery and in what was like a day dream , I got a vision of what home was - the brightest warm sun , falling leaves , a swaying breeze , it was soft and comforting like I had never felt or seen before in any scene or movie . I felt better , like I had been pulled together suddenly . I decided to return home to my family . As I was driving out of the cemetery , a police car is pulling in . He drives slowly by me , and just as he passes me , he stops and motions me to stop . He backs up and gets out of his car . He then asks me why I 'm here . I tell him I 've been upset and my great - grandparents are buried here - that I just came here to see them . He looks deep into my eyes like he 's staring into my soul - he says " you need to go home " . It was about 8 : 30 pm - the sun was slowing sinking . I went home . The day we laid him to rest , it was foggy , gray , and cool . Depressing . I remembered being little and thinking when it rained God was crying . God must be feeling sad like me right now I thought . As I pulled in the back ally to park the car , I was greeted by a huge , vibrant rainbow and it appeared to arch directly over my house . Again , I felt a warm , soft , comfort - I knew that rainbow was for me . I felt peaceful . I snapped many pictures of my rainbow . Life had to go on - it was almost Halloween and we do it big . We always took our group of ghouls & goblins to Paw - paw 's to trick or treat . He loved it - I can almost hear his chuckles and see his bright smile as he checked out each kid 's costume for the year . Pure enjoyment . All the kids got full sized candy bars & dollar bills . He got memories to last a lifetime . The Saturday after Halloween , he left . He died on October 19th . I didn 't know he was with us , until I felt him leave . It was almost like you 'd imagine - he lifted out of the room , out of the house , and out of my life . it was utterly beautiful , knowing that he was with us . Sad knowing that I didn 't even know he was there and now he was gone & I was unsure if I 'd ever feel him that way again . He left many signs while he was here . I never considered what happened at the cemetery until the day before his funeral , taking to a cousin in Texas who wouldn 't be able to attend . She called to ask how I was doing and try and connect with her grieving family . I told her about my strange experience - she told me very matter of factly that what I was feeling was him . That he wanted to go home and that he died around 11 pm that night . That while I was in the cemetery , he was in the shadow of death and our connection in life was so strong that somehow I felt him and that possibly he came to me . It was a gift . It changed my life . It changed how I see death and even how I see living . He gave that to me . I know he was around me when Capri was born . I know he 's there when a rainbow appears without a drop of rain in the sky . And he does - at a recent family gathering , full sunshine , there was a small rainbow , almost like a stripe in the sky right behind where we all gathered . He was there with us 🙂 I think he 'll be here when I need him . Thank you for sharing your story . Sorry mine was so long . Just be thankful I stopped where I did , I could have gone on & on ! I think it 's fascinating & I 'm so glad I was open to it or I might not have ever had the opportunity with my grandpa . I 'm glad you are open too . My father passed away this past Friday at the age of 90 . A World War II veteran . He will be buried in the new Sacramento VA Cemetery in Dixon , CA . No sigh yet , but waiting . I am so very sorry for your loss ! I know the pain you are going through , and your sign will come ! My dad is buried at the same VA Cemetery ! It is a beautiful place - so serene and peaceful . Again , I am so sorry . If you ever need someone to talk to , I am here . I still miss my dad every single day . My mom passed away less than one month ago and I see signs all the time . I saw a robin the day she died and it came right upto me before flying away right after I told my kids grandma had passed away . It was a small comfort on the hardest day of my life . I see her now in butterflies , Bird 's and beautiful sunsets . Yes but they are not exactly nice ones . Very scary and shocking . Like the gates of the bad side opened up and she was coming back to tell ( warn ) me and my brothers . We all experienced odd , spooky , scary things after she died suddenly . Oh my goodness - I am so sorry you had this experience ! That sounds very scary , and is so , so sad . I am sorry for your loss . Lots of them ( for which I 'm grateful ) . When I was driving home from the hospital after my mom died , a baby deer ran beside my car ( we live on a dirt road ) for about a quarter mile . I 've had a few dreams where I looked out my window and my mom was sitting in my car waving at me ( the only time I 've ever woken up crying ) . I also dreamed I walked out to my barn and saw my horse , Cowboy ( who had recently died ) peeking around the corner . I felt a lot of guilt about Cowboy - I had to put him down after an accident . And butterflies . Sometimes I see two butterflies together . I always think about my parents when I see them . When I was 10 , my great grandmother on my fathers side passed away and left me an heirloom opal and diamond ring . Being so young , my mother decided to keep it for me until I was old enough to appreciate and take care of it . She wore that ring almost every day . In my 20s I asked her for it . She smiled and told me that she would giv it to me " someday " . Over the years I grew impatient . I wanted MY ring from MY family . Patiently she would smile and say " Not yet " . 3 months ago I stood alone in my Mother 's hospital room . It would be our last goodbye on this earth . God was taking her and I was in shock , heartbroken , and full of regret . She couldn 't speak as I told her what a perfectly gracious and caring Mother she had been to me . I had a million things I wanted to say . She just smiled and pointed at the drawer next to her bed . A bag with her clothing was in it . I held the bag and stared at her . She motioned for me to open it . When I did , her ring ( my ring ) the opal fell onto the bed . She put it on my finger and squeezed my hand . IT WAS TIME . It 's been almost 3 months and I wear her ring every day . Its not really the kind of ring you wear every day . More like a special occasion ring . But my Mom wore it every day and so must I . I see her soul in that opal . Swirling colors and shine . At night , I put the ring on my dresser . Nothing else on the dresser but a TV . I sometimes think I should put it in some elegant box , but I want it out . I dont want one day to go by where Im running late and I forget it . Everyone tells me " Your Mom is with you " . For the past 3 months I have begged for a sign . I want to feel her around me like ao many tell me she is . But I haven 't . Last night after watching a movie and crying through the entire ending credits , I said " OK , I dont need a sign , I will stop . " Tobight my dogs kept barking uncontrollably . To the point my son and I were starting to worry . Finally after about an hour , they calmed down . I got out of the shower and walked over to my dresser to get my pajamas . I looked at Moms opal ring and at the same time a small marble rolled to my right foot . We dont have marbles in our house . Never have . Thanks Mommy . I felt you . Xoxoo Oh wow - that is really something … and I guess your sign ! What a beautiful story about the opal ring ( I adore opals , and my mom had a huge opal pendant that I now have ) . I am so sorry about the loss of your mother - your story sounds similar to mine . It is so hard to lose our parents . HUGS . We have a total of seven team members located across the U . S . , and between us all , we have kids aging from preschool years to 26 years ! The Eighty MPH Mom Team would love to work with you ! Click photo above to learn more . * Ranked # 8 on Cision 's 2012 Top 50 Product Review Blogs |
The rec center is hosting a swim competition this weekend , which means the natatorium is closed . Which is fine because I wouldn 't have been able to go swimming early this morning anyway . Not that I wanted to since I had basically just finished a swim class , but later in the day I found myself wanting to swim a few laps . Weird . In the evening was Zumba . I 've been to this class at least once before , and I wonder how successful a Friday night Zumba class will be . Evidentlly , there are several of us who have no lives . Luckily one of these is my friend Tangila . Zumba takes place in the 2 adjoining activity rooms . Usually Tangila stays to the far side whereas I stay pretty much in the second row in the center so I can see what the heck is going on with the instructor . Today Tangila joined me on my side , and I think it made the class so much more fun . I felt like I used to when I went to class . So I think the solution is to be with a friend . If I 'm on the other side of the room and can 't see what 's going on , there 's always the option of breaking out into free style . Posted by Spin and Swim . This will be my Tuesday / Thursday ritual for the rest of the month . It 's taking some getting used to waking up at 5 am for early - morning workouts . And by the time it 's second nature , school will be back in session and they will be taken away from me once again . I slowly got out of bed and made my way to the rec center for Spin class . I was dismayed that we were out of peanut butter , which is what I eat before early morning workouts ; just a teaspoon , but we didn 't even have that . Luckily , I had a Luna bar , so I took a few bites of that on the way . I decided that I will just be happy to have a class to go to and not concentrate on what he does and doesn 't do or what music he plays . As class really got started , I thought I would push myself with his instructions and really give it my all rather than doing the minimum with the tension . When he said to add it , I did , more than I usually do . I added it until I could barely keep the minimum of our rpms that he suggested . It was tougher . Then about half way through class , he had us come up out of our seats . I was surprised and happy , because I had already come up a couple of times just to give my booty a rest . That was the only time he did it , but I found it promising . I kept my end of the bargain with the tension , and I think I should have been doing that all along , rather than pacing myself for what may come . Because I could have handled it , but I used the excuse that I was pacing myself as a cover for the fact that it 's really about me hating adding tension . And I 'm only cheating myself . After class , I thanked him for getting us up out of our saddles a little bit . He admitted that it is brutal to be in the seat the whole time ( which is what I suspected when he got up and walked around . ) He is easing us into it since it takes some getting used to , but in the weeks to come , he will be adding more challenging things and changing things up a bit . Yea ! I was nervous about swim class because she said we 'd be working on speed . I really want to work on technique and not really worry about my speed , and I was going to talk to her about that . Turns out this is our last night with Meagan . For the last week of class a guy named Tim will be taking over . I think I 'm going to like Tim . According to Meagan , he over teaches . For me , just starting out , I think over teaching will be a good thing . She had us do drills . Different types of swimming followed by regular laps at different speeds . When I was confused about something she was talking about ( like a zipper stroke ) Tim was all too ready to explain it to me . Some of these things don 't make sense to me . Like the zipper thing . I don 't see how this is supposed to be beneficial since you are moving your arms against the water . Turns out I was doing it wrong , and before I could ask questions , we were moving on to the next thing . Most of the laps were good . I think the freestyle is going to be my strongest , since that is what we do the most of . At one point , we had to swim 50 yards in a minute and a half . You got to rest for what was left of your 90 seconds before taking off for the next 50 . This wasn 't as bad as I thought as I had about 15 to 25 seconds of rest between sets . I was worried about it , and I told her so . I mentioned my ideas of technique vs . speed , and she explained herself . There is a method to her madness . She does watch me , but she is not seeing anything to critique me on . That is good news , but I wonder if she is not watching me enough . But that may be the critic in me . All the drills and speed are meant to build endurance . Even the speed work is meant to build stamina and confidence that will be needed in the tri . Tim will be working with us next week on different strokes , and she told him that I would want to work on technique . I think it 's going to be a good week . Kelly and I thanked her . I know I learned a lot from her , and she 's always at the natatorium , so she is there if I need her . When all was said and done , I had swam 900 yards , and Kelly had swam 950 . Another half mile down . Then I thought about it a different way . I had swam the Half Ironman distance this week . Granted I didn 't do it in the 1 hour 15 minute time limit , but the distance is good enough for me . Three weeks ago , I would have never thought I would swim half a mile in a single day ; so this is a milestone to feel good about . Last night was one of those nights . My youngest didn 't feel well , and she couldn 't lay down without getting sick . I propped her up on the pillows on the couch , so basically she was sleeping sitting up . Which means that I was sleeping sitting up . At least until midnight which is when I carried her to bed hoping that the worst was over . Thankfully it was , but as 5 am rolled around , I was exhausted . I managed to get myself up without too much arguing , but I was still late for Spin class . However , Jason was helping a new girl , so they were only flat - roading . I wasn 't missing anything but a long warm up . I am grateful to have a class again , but I wish it was more varied . We did the same kind of stuff , adding tension , slowing pace , adding tension , maintaining pace , etc , etc , etc . I kept wishing he would have us do some jumps or something , and I had to stand up on my own just to get out of my seat for a minute . I noticed he always gets up in the middle of class to walk around for a second . He also stands up himself for a bit . So why doesn 't he consider that the rest of us need to get off our butts , too ? When it was all said and done , I had logged in 14 miles . That 's not as much as usual , but I was late . At least I burned enough calories to negate my breakfast . Later was swim class . I got to the rec center a little bit early because I wanted to check out this Zumba instructor that no one seems to like . Everyone tells me I would recognize her because she used to be in class with us , but I didn 't know her . I saw Lydia waiting for her class to start , and I wished that I could just go to her class instead . Maybe I 'm just a runner . I do like going out for my runs , but I do not feel that way about cycling . I don 't even really like Spin , I just think it 's a good workout and calorie burn . And now that I 'm adding swimming , I can 't say that I am loving it ; although I will consider that I just need to give it more time . As I slumped over to the natatorium , I really didn 't want to be there . Especially since Kelly had texted me that she wasn 't coming . She wasn 't feeling well . I chose an empty lane and decided to swim a couple of laps before class started . I swam 200 yards figuring I would swim the rest of my warm up with everyone else . Sure enough , they all swam their 300 yard warm up while I swam another 150 . Finally I said , I 'm just going to do what I can since I am a beginner . She said , " I keep forgetting that ! " Then she wrote out a modified version of the pyramid just for me in which she basicallly halved everything . As she was doing this , she told me how much she has seen me improve since day one . She 's noticed that I don 't rest as often and my form is better . For being a beginner , I was doing very well . It was encouraging to hear her say this . I told her my average 25 yard lap was 35 seconds , and she seemed pleased with that . I also told her that I didn 't think I had a " fast " pace for this workout , but she said any amount of difference was good and I should just push a little bit more on those laps . Okay . I could try that . I ignored what my classmates were doing and i just took off for my own swim . I learned a lot on this swim . I realized that I am getting better at this whole breathing thing . I can now make it almost 50 yards before I start to feel winded . I also realized that if I use my legs too much , I can 't quite make it the 50 yards without gasping by the end of it . She had told me to break every 50 , so this worked pretty well for me . When it came to doing my fast laps , I waited for the timer so I could pace myself . My regular laps were still averaging 35 seconds , and I seriously doubted that I could do better than that and still make it back ; but I was willing to give it a try . I could push myself for 75 yards , and I could always slow down or rest more if I needed to . So I pushed off . I used my shoulders and arms as much as I could and barely moved my legs . I tried to hurry . When I got to the other side , the clock indicated 30 seconds ! I had shaved 5 seconds off my time . So I took a second , and I tried it again . This time the clock read 28 seconds ! 7 seconds difference ! I was happy with that , and I told my teacher when she asked how I was doing . She gave me a high five , and I found it kind of funny that this young girl 's approval was making me so happy . Toward the end of my workout , I used the paddle board for 50 yards . I just had to catch my breath , and it gave me an excuse to practice my kicks . I did my cool down , a 150 yard swim and another 50 yards using the kickboard again . She wrote down on my paper that I had swam 800 yards including my warm up . 800 yards ! That didn 't include the warm up I had done before everyone got there , so that brought my grand total up to 1000 yards ! 1000 yards equates to . 56 miles ! No wonder why I was so tired ! After I realized this was my distance for the day , I didn 't feel too bad about using the kickboard for 100 of those yards . Maybe next time , I won 't have to . There 's nothing like waking up at 5 am to have an argument with yourself . I know I need to get more swimming in , so I planned on going to the natatorium before work to get in a good half hour or so of swimming . But when I woke up , staying in bed and sleeping a little longer sounded like a better idea . The truth is I was intimidated . I didn 't want to go and swim with all those early - morning swimmers - the ones that know what they 're doing - the ones that swim so effortlessly and glide through the water with ease . I didn 't want to worry about sharing a lane with a total stranger . And most of all , I didn 't want to get out there and possibly not do well and then feel bad about it the rest of the day . I didn 't want to go . I heard my voices telling me to get my a * * out of bed . They were telling me that I was going to have to get over these issues sooner or later and the tri is coming sooner rather than later . Begrudgingly , I got out of bed and got ready to go . That 's the short version , by the way . Luckily , Monday morning must be the morning those swimmer stay in bed themselves , because it wasn 't crowded at all . As a matter of fact , there was only one guy in a medium speed lane . I had two slow lanes all to myself , although I only used one . ; ) I just did freestyle swim trying to concentrate on my breathing and my legs . It 's really so much to remember , but it 's getting better . I even tried to time myself , and it seems like my pace is about 35 seconds per 25 yards . I don 't know if that 's good or not , but that 's what it is . It 's good for me . I did have to rest quite a bit , but as long as I could keep going , I was happy . I lost count of my laps , but I think I swam about 450 yards . The guy that was in the medium lane was going pretty fast , so I was going to check out what he was doing with his legs . I waited for him to get to the side of the pool I was on , and then I went underwater . At that point , he decided to do the breast stroke , so what he was doing with his legs was of no use to me . And maybe that was lesson in not stalking swim moves of fellow swimmers . All in all , the morning was a success . But then as evening came , it was time for something equally , if not more , vigorous . It was time for 30 in 30 . This class is intense . There were no stations today , just one exercise after another . Punches and jumps and planks . OH MY ! There was no break in between exercises . I was literally dripping sweat within minutes . DRIPPING ! I found myself wondering if I could hang for an entire hour . I think the hardest thing was the plank push up things . I don 't really remember how to do them now because it 's like post traumatic stress and my brain is blocking the memory of them , but the soreness in my arms and abs is a reminder that something did take place . Next up was Zumba , which frankly was like one big cool down after that 30 in 30 class . There were a couple of new songs , which is always ( not ) fun . It makes me want to break out in free style dance since it 's impossible to keep up with the new moves when it seems like the instructor doesn 't know them either . So that 's what I did . Just for a few moments , but my friend Tangila joined me . After that I have to admit that I half - assed the rest of the class , but I just couldn 't get into it . Luckily , there was only 15 minutes of class left . All in all , I think it was a successful workout day . I logged all my stuff into My Fitness Pal , and it said I would weigh like 20 pounds less in 5 weeks , but I know that My Fitness Pal lies , so I won 't hold my breath . It 's almost exactly a month until I start meeting with the Pearland Area Road Runners again , so when Kelly and I decided on a 3 - mile run , I didn 't worry about it too much . We 'll be logging in the miles soon enough . The Texas weather is here , and I blame it completely for our time . We were slow . But it is still a good training run , and getting out there is still better than staying on the couch . It was not a very eventful run , but it was a very enjoyable one . I 'm beginning to think the bunny family that lives on the corner has moved . I have not seen any bunnies in a month . But even though there was a lack of bunnies , there was not a lack of cyclists including a large group . I mentioned to Kelly that I 'd seen them before . They had passed me up a couple of weeks ago , just like every one else I see when I 'm out . Whether I 'm running or cycling , and now even swimming , someone is always passing me up . But I 'm not beating myself up over it . Because I had a great time running , even though our pace was not so hot . We made it back in time for me to go to Zumba , so I did . I left as is after changing my shoes . I got to class and my face was still red and my shirt was still drenched in sweat . So I was all bring on the music , because I was already warmed up . It was a good workout morning . Life kind of got in the way this week . And I have to admit I got in my own way this week . Monday evening , my daughter was home for a couple of days , so I missed a workout . Which would have been okay because I have spin and swim class on Tuesday ; but then I stayed up too late watching the Spring Show video with her , and I didn 't wake up for spin ( which my friend Tammy has so lovingly called me out with her comment to this blog . ) I was all set for swim class , but then my Dad wanted to take us out to dinner , so I opted for that instead . Then of course , Wednesdays are out because it 's too busy . From what I understand , I think I am glad I had to miss swim class . She had them do these 50 yard sprints in which they had 1 . 5 minutes to complete . If you finished before the 1 . 5 minutes , you got to rest before doing the next one . They did this for way longer than I would have been able to hang , and I 'm afraid this would have shattered my already - fragile confidence . Since Tammy did call me out for not showing up to Spin class for two classes in a row , I knew I couldn 't miss again . I kind of thought that since I missed a couple of classes , Jason would be a little bit tougher . But I think his style of class is just generally a little easier . He likes to have us maintain 90 rpm 's at different tension levels . Then he 'll have us maintain 90 with low tension , then we add more tension at slower speeds for short time periods and then speed back up again , etc , etc , etc . It 's kind of boring . Lots of sweat , but kind of boring . To make it worse , he engages in conversation . This is good and bad . It 's good because he talks to us about important stuff like nutrition , we get to know him , and it makes it personal . It 's bad because he gets too involved in off topics , and he loses control of the class . If he 's talking about random stuff , he 's not instructing us . And if we are all able to have random conversations then the workout must not be challenging enough , and we 're not concentrating on what we 're doing . There has to be a balance . I hope we find one . Which brings us to Thursday night . I tried to get to the rec center a little bit early to get a couple of laps in , but I only made it early enough for a couple of laps before my fellow classmates were showing up . I 'm beginning to think my swim teacher really doesn 't know what she 's doing . I mean , I think she 's a great swim teacher , but she has never done a triathlon before . She has guarded several , but she has never participated in one . And her teaching is very scattered , and it seems like we should be concentrating on technique . Apparently , the guy in our class brought this up Tuesday , so I didn 't have to . It makes it better that someone that actually knows what he 's doing would say such things and it 's not just me talking out of my behind . Because most of the time I don 't really know if I know what I 'm talking about . My friend Tammy is a great swimmer , and she told me I should be proud of the 325 yards in 12 minutes . That 's actually a prettPosted by No doubt that the lack of running miles is taking its toll . I went for a run this morning , and although it went well , I wondered if I could still run a half marathon tomorrow . Probably not . This was a 4 mile run , and I was ready to be home by the end of it . In my defense , I think running long distances is much easier when you have a running partner , and I had none . I also think it would be easier without a running partner if you weren 't running in Texas in the summer , but maybe that 's just me . Marathon training starts up on July 14th , so the miles will eventually go back up into the double digits . I can 't feel too bad about it ( although I do ) because of all the other stuff I 'm working on right now . It 's hard sometimes to not be so down on yourself . For the first time since this whole thing started , I lost an argument with the voices in my head . I was supposed to get up for Spin on Thursday , but I was really tired and ( I must admit ) medicated . So when the alarm went off at 5 am , I heard the voice say quite loudly , " GET UP ! " Instead of an argument like I normally have with myself , I simply responded , " No . " " Get up ! Just get moving , and you 'll feel better and you 'll be glad that you went ! " my inner self said . I responded by rolling over and going back to sleep . There was no discussion . No banter . I just ignored myself and rolled over . And I didn 't wake up until 6 : 30 . Then I proceeded to have the worst swim lesson , so there wasn 't even that to feel good about at the end of the day . I should have argued with those voices . I bring this up because today my Dad had a book signing at Barnes and Noble . The title of his book is The Silence is Deafening : Poetry by the Voices in my Head and Other Friends , and he was autographing his book and singing some of the songs from his CD Poets and Dreamers . Like me , my Dad is his own worst critic . He inspires me ; he inspires others . He was nervous about today , but as I watched him grab his guitar and sing his own songs , I was so proud . Autographing his book He was confide t . He was wa m . He was person l . And he played music and words that were his and his alone , melodies that only existed in his mind before he put brought them to life to share with s . I was pro d . I was mov d . And I was inspir d . And I realized that I must get my tenacity from h m . He doesn 't give p . He keeps going , and he looks for ways to impro e . I had a bad swim d y . But I 'll keep goi g . And I 'll look for ways to impro e . The silence is deafeni g . And even though sometimes the voices in my head are not nice , I prefer having them to listen to , to guide me , and yes , even to fight with if necessa y . It will only make me better in the e I somehow got a crick in my neck sometime during this week . I 've been trying to work it out , but it lingers . I do love my Zumba classes , but I know what 's been missing . My friends . I have friends in class , but they don 't always show up and they don 't cut up with me like Tiffany and Kelly used to . Alas . . . . Luckily , they added a Friday class at the rec center with an instructor that I like , Annette . The music starts and we did a good warm up , and I can feel my neck trying to protest . I keep dancing , and I found myself singing what songs I knew in my head all the while interjecting ow - ies into the lyrics . " you make me this , bring me ( ouch ) , bring me down , playing ( ouch ) I think the week of exercising with this crick is taking it 's toll , and now I am feeling a pinch in my booty . I know a visit to my chiropractor is in order , but there 's just so much going on right now . We 'll see . Posted by I left my swim class feeling optimistic on Tuesday , and I walked into the natatorium today feeling the same way . After we swam for a quick warm up , our instructor gave us our first assignment . We would be swimming a 12 - minute swim to see where we are . At the end of the month , we 'll do another one to see how far we 've come . My assumption is this is like the beloved Magic Mile . Oh , how I love the Magic Mile . ( Not ! ) If I would have thought of this before hand , I may have been more prepared for what was to come . It was my turn to go , so I took off for my first lap trying to remember everything I learned on Tuesday . At first everything was going well . On about my 4th lap , 100 yards , I started getting a little winded . I took a quick break at the end of the pool to clear out my goggles , and I took off again . But this time my goggles weren 't sealed completely and water got in them . I tried to ignore it , but it 's a really weird sensation when you 're flipping your head to the side to take a breath and the water is sloshing around in them . So I eventually stopped mid - lane to empty them out . This happened several times , by the way . Once I got back around lap 6 , I was tired . She told me to swim on my back to catch my breath . So I did , but then I was using my legs too much , and it didn 't help . Erin passed me up a couple of times . A couple of times I waited for Kelly to get to the side to let her go ahead of me because I knew she would pass me up . I tried a breast stroke for one lap , but it was futile . It didn 't matter what stroke I used because I was tired . I watched my classmates gliding effortlessly through the water . And I was done . We still had five more minutes to go , and I didn 't want to do them . I was a mess . This was only 12 minutes . IN A POOL ! ! ! I can 't swim 12 minutes in a pool and I am supposed to put myself out in a lake ? At the Mother 's Day tri , I heard the winds were so bad and the water was so choppy . How can I handle those conditions with water that I 'm afraid of if I can 't handle the pool ! ! I couldn 't let the tears come ; I didn 't want them , and I couldn 't sit there for five minutes either . I took a deep breath , and I heard my voice . I pushed off the edge and took off again , trying my best to follow all of my new rules . Right , left , right , breathe , right , left , right , breathe , cup your hands , bend your elbows , right , left , right . I pushed and I pushed until at last our time was out . I 've never felt myself sweat in the water , but I know today I was . When all was said and done , I had swam a little over 325 yards . Kelly had swam 425 , and the other two ladies swam 475 . I was careful not to speak for a moment , even to Kelly , because I was afraid of not being able to control the tears . Eventually I did speak , but my instructor encouraged me and reminded me that this was just a test . The end of the month will be better . I was shaken . I really just wanted to climb out of the pool and go home . But instead she handed me flippers to put on my feet . And she gave us paddle boards . So for the next 150 yards , we swam with flippers with our heads above the water . Well , at least my head was above the water . Once I got the hang of them , it was kind of fun . We swam some more using the buoys between our legs so we wouldn 't use our legs . Although Kelly 's face showed disdain for the buoy , I didn 't mind , because I got to practice my breathing more . I think that was about it for class . But maybe I 've blocked the rest from my mind . I tend to do that with stressful or awful memories . I know I need practice . I know this , but I 'm worried . I know how to tread , but tonight I felt like I was drowning and like I was in way over my head . I don 't like that feeling . I went to my first triathlon swim class . I am really nervous about the swim portion of the tri for so many reasons . 1 . It 's an open water swim . I really do not like non - chlorinated swimming areas . This is why I 'm in class . I was the first one there , and I asked where I should go . The kiosk guy ( who didn 't even know there was a tri class before I said anything ) didn 't know who my instructor would be and said to go to lane 1 . I went to lane 1 . Lanes 2 through 10 were being used by a swim team . Then I saw this guy putting down some equipment . So I asked him , " Are you teaching the tri class ? " " Ok . They said go to lane 1 and you are at lane 1 , so I thought I 'd ask , " I said and walked away . Geez ! Like I 'm not already so out of my element and he 's all " Uh . This is for masters ! " Whatever ! I felt better after Kelly got there . We went into the activity pool to get wet and get our swim caps on and waited for our instructor . Finally she came out . There were five of us all together , including one woman who does not want to do a tri but just wants to improve her swimming . First our instructor ( I forgot her name ) had us swim across the pool ( 25 ft ) and back to see where we were . The five of us had two lanes , so Kelly took off first and I followed behind her . As soon as we got back to the side , I could tell she was going to call me out for something . She said we looked pretty good , but a couple of us had to work on our breathing . Next up was a swimming with this floater between our legs so that we would be forced to use our arms , and she looked at me and said something to me about breathing . I told her I didn 't know how to do that , I never learned , and my tendency is to lift my head . I know this . So she had me practice this by giving me a paddle board and I had to swim with my arms out in front of me on this board , and I would practice turning my head and taking breaths while swimming . We did this for 100 feet . After that , she had us do the floater - between - our - leg thing for another 100 feet . I felt like I was getting a hang of the breathing thing , but I was still short of breath . But I think it 's more of a learning to swim breath thing . Kind of like how I had to figure out how to breath while running . Now I have to build up the cardiovascular endurance of this activity and figure it out . So I felt better about that , but then she said my hands were open rather than being cupped to help move myself through the water . I would have to work on that too . And this is something I know , because I remind my little one to do this all the time . Next up was freestyle swimming . As I made my way down the pool , she was waiting for me on the other side to tell me I was still opening my hands . I told her , " I know , but I 'm still freaking out about the breathing thing and trying not to lift my head , and then I remember the hands , and I 'm trying to remember it all , but it 's so much to remember , so I 'm still just trying to figure it all out ! " She laughed with me and said she would try not to give me too hard of a time for a couple of weeks . I told her she could give me hell and I 'd be working on it . The next length of the pool , I made it to the other side proud that I had not lifted my head , I had cupped my hands , and I remembered to move my arms the way she had said . Kelly was there , and I asked her , " Was she watching ? Because I was totally cupping my hands ! " I don 't know if she was or not , but I told her about my accomplishment when she came back to the side . Next she talked about the breast stroke , because this is a good stroke to use if we get tired or are out of breath in the tri . After demonstrating the proper form , we got to try it . I 've been doing the breast stroke wrong for a long time . Like forever ! I always moved my arms and legs in the same motion , like a frog . But your arms and legs are supposed to be opposite . I would swim , swim , swim , and then I would realize that I was synchronizing the movements . So I would stop where I was and start again . Then before I even made it the 25 feet , I was synchronizing again . It took some getting used to , and even when I was doing it properly , I wasn 't doing it properly . That one is going to take some practice . And I really feel like it 's an inefficient swim . It seemed like a lot of energy used , and I felt like I was barely moving . But maybe I 'm just doing it wrong . The last thing we did was a five lap cool down . Just an easy swim any way we wanted for five laps . This is when my legs started cramping . I would just stop and try to tread water and move my leg around until it stopped . I wasI fell asleep pretty easily , but I was awoken at 3 am with horrible shoulder pain . Shoulder pain in the area in front by your bones that surround your neck ; what are those ? The clavicle bones ? That 's where I was hurting . I was so sore , and I couldn 't get back to sleep . I also know we have no pain meds in the house . Instead I opted for this all - natural Icy Hot kind of stuff that my mom got me . It 's very strong , and unlike Icy Hot , you can feel it working for a couple of days . You can literally feel this burning sensation coming from the inside of your body . It 's really good , and it has helped a lot with sore running muscles . So I put it on my neck bones and shoulders , and I lay back down . But then I realized I had gotten it on my actual neck , because all of a sudden my neck was on fire . Then I had to get up and get a wet towel to kind of wipe it off of my neck . That was better . I tried again to go back to sleep , but even though the lotion was working , I was still in quite a bit of pain . So got up AGAIN and went downstairs to see if there was anything that would help . I was even willing to take a cold medicine as long as it had some ibuprofen or something in it . Then I found a prescription from a dental appointment for 800 mg ibuprofen ! Praise the Lord ! I took one , and went to lay down one last time in hopes of falling asleep . Sleep finally came back about 4 : 30 by the time it was all said and done . I had to get up at 5 : 30 . Needless to say , I did not get up and go to the gym before work . But I will be back there on Thursday for more spin and swim torture . Posted by The rec center has added Spinning back to the early morning schedule . Yea ! Just in time for summer . Now that I don 't have to wake up my little one for school , I can get to the gym before work . Matt is not the instructor , but it 's also not the dreaded Stephanie . It 's a guy named Jason . Turns out Jason is a trainer at the rec center , so hopefully we won 't be losing him any time soon . He said he would take it a little easy on us today , but we were not allowed to miss his class from here on out . Ha ! It 's been so long since I was in a class , and now I remembered how much I hated it when I first started , and I found myself wishing the clock would move much faster . I can 't remember my exact time , but I remember looking at the clock and thinking that I was make much better time here than on my bike at home . I kept going trying to keep up with him . Most of what he did today is have us hover in the 90 rmp range and then add resistance while staying in a certain range for short periods of time . Then he gave us a " hill " at the end . It wasn 't necessarily a hard class , but it was hard in the sense that I 'm out of practice . And it 's so freaking early . Even before I left the house at 5 : 15 am , there was way too much movement before coffee . I think he 's gonna be a good instructor . The only problem I had was there was not enough standing . Who ever thought I would complain about not enough standing . But honestly , my booty needed the break . I have the feeling he is going to be much tougher once we get into the swing of things , but I have the summer to try to hang . Sunday , I felt much better , so I went to my Zumba class that I love so much . Nothing new to report there , other than I think one of the mirrors in the room is a skinny mirror . So I am going to try to get a spot in front of that mirror every time I go from here on out . I LOVE that mirror ! Monday , I went to a new class called 30 in 30 . I have no idea why it 's called that . I mean I know the second 30 is because it is 30 minutes long , but what is the first 30 for ? I have no idea . So the class is only 30 minutes , but it is intense . It 's like a boot camp . She set up all these stations and we had to do all the activities for one minute and then we had a 15 second transition to the next station . One minute is a long time when you are doing some of these things . Like one of them was holding a plank and then alternating lifting your knees to the side of your body . And then I heard her say , " Put your butt down ! " and I was all , " Do you want me to put my knees to the side or just hold a plank , because I don 't think I can do both . " At least that 's what I said on the inside . On the outside I did my best , but I think my booty was still too high to be considered a good plank . Before our first round was finished I was sweating bullets . She gave us a one minute break in between rounds which was excellent for water consumption . It was a good class , and I 'm glad they are offering it on a day where I can come . After that was Zumba , and I wondered if I was going to make it through after that . Unfortunately , I forgot my shoes , so I had to wear my running shoes . As soon as class started , it was clear that that was not going to work . My Brooks do not want to move and shimmy and pivot . They want to move forward . By the second song , I knew I couldn 't finish the class in them or I would hurt my knees . I took them off and gave it a go in my socks . Which was not really good either . They were a little too slick , and even though the floor is made for activity , it was still pretty hard . I did have to modify my moves a little , but it was still a good workout . At least until the 3rd to last song when I almost ate it . I don 't know what I was doing , but I almost fell . I put my shoes back on for the last song and the cool down . This morning , I was going to do a brick workout . But then I woke up with the worst headache . I think it 's because my dog was extra smelly and wreaked havoc on my allergies . Who knows , but I do know that I had a headache . I woke up later than expected , and by the time I got out the door , I really only had time for one or the other . So I biked . I put on that damned helmet that I love so much , and took off down the road . I really don 't like it . But I must , so I do . Right at the mile mark , I got freaked out because I heard voices behind me . But then I realized that it must be the announcer at the near - by high school stadium . ( I tend to get freaked out pretty easily ) Then when I was going to round the corner , the voices came back . Only this time they were people , not a sports announcer . It was a four - pack of cyclist passing me up like I was standing still . One day , I 'll be that fast . They were going to go back for another loop , so I turned the opposite direction to make my rounds to the front of the neighborhood . I was speeding up a little at this point , but not fast by most standards . Then at mile 3 , I saw this older gentleman that I always see riding . He had a riding partner with him today , and they were dressed in the same cycling suit . . . which was yellow and black . So they looked like bumble bees passing me by , and I had to smile in spite of myself . Since I was only going to be biking , I had to step it up a notch . And also , I had realized that the time I posted that I had ridden 1 / 2 my tri distance , I was wrong . I thought I had ridden 5 . 5 miles , and it was only 4 . 5 . This time I repeated my entire course , and I was cursing myself as I was doing it . My inside voice was all , " What the hell ? " and I was all , " Shut up and just go ! " and then the voice said , " You suck ! " and I replied something that was not very nice . And I thought this is what it has come down to ; I am shouting expletives at myself . I was tired , and by the end of it , I was sighing out loud . And I had finished a seven mile ride with an average pace of 11 mph . Which is strange because when I was doing Spin classes , I would get up to 16 to 20 miles in an hour , and this pace was no where near that . I know it 's different with the real bike and all and the wind was blowing againPosted by |
Passive Voice Упражнение 301 1 . This book was borrowed from the library only yesterday . 2 . These three students were asked two days ago . 3 . Were you examined in the morning ? 4 . This mouse was caught at night . 5 . Very beautiful bags are made at our factory . 6 . Letters can be sent there only in summer , but telegrams all the year round . 7 . My friend is sent abroad every year . 8 . She was sent to hospital two days ago . 9 . Yesterday we were sent to the laboratory . 10 . This composition was written last week . 11 . The telegram was sent late at night , and he will receive it only in the morning . 12 . This article must be read by the whole group . 13 . This exercise may be written in pencil . 14 . All your compositions will be returned next week . 15 . This letter can be written on a piece of paper . 1 . We were shown a very strange picture . 2 . You are being looked for . Go home . 3 . All of you will be gathered in the hall and told about all the changes in the school curriculum . 4 . Why is he always laughed at ? 5 . All of us were given tickets to the exhibition . 6 . The lectures of this famous professor are always listened to with great attention . 7 . Am I being waited for ? 8 . They were asked three difficult questions . 9 . The headmaster has already been sent for . Please wait a little . 10 . Everybody was invited to a big hall . 11 . These letters have been looked through . They can be sent . 12 . At the station they were met by the guide and taken to the hotel . 13 . These magazines must be returned to the library next week . 14 . At our lessons much attention is paid to pronunciation . 15 . Ivanov was told to explain why he missed classes . 16 . Shall I be invited to your party ? 17 . The children were left alone at home . Упражнение 303 1 . Не will be met by his father at the railway station . 2 . These pictures were painted in the 16th century . 3 . Are these books used for work ? 4 . In Italy we shall be shown many places of interest . 5 . This man was followed by a great crowd . 6 . When the new story was being read , somebody knocked at the door . 7 . We have already been invited to the party . 8 . When mother came , dinner had already been cooked . 9 . This doctor is often sent for . 10 . He is always met by his friends at the railway station . 11 . Are you given books for reading at school ? 12 . The prisoners were brought into a big hall . 13 . What exercises were done in class ? 14 . Who was this letter written by ? 15 . Many schools will be built next year . 16 . He is laughed at by everybody . 17 . Will this work be finished next week ? 18 . When were these apple trees planted ? 19 . He was often remembered and spoken about at the institute . 20 . Shall we be met at the station ? 21 . The answer will be sent in a few days . 22 . When were you asked ? 23 . This translation will be finished in a few days . 24 . Will this book be returned in time ? Упражнение 304 1 . The letters were left on the table . 2 . The boy was not allowed to bathe in the river . 3 . After dinner the dishes were washed . 4 . The letter was written yesterday . 5 . This article was written by an English journalist . 6 . This poem must be learnt by all the students of our group . 7 . We were shown many beautiful things . 8 . The poem was learnt by heart . 9 . They will be taught English . 10 . When the apple was eaten ( had been eaten ) , the girl took the doll and went into the room . 11 . When will your book be written ? 12 . All these books have been borrowed from the library . 13 . The dictation was handed in to the teacher after the bell rang . 14 . I thought that bread and butter would be bought by my sister . 15 . In spring this field will be covered with green grass and flowers . 16 . The homework was prepared , the books and exercise books were put into the bag . 17 . The work was done very well . 18 . The article must be translated by five o ' clock . 19 . The translation will be finished in time . 20 . When I came home , soup had already been cooked . 21 . The article was translated without mistakes . 22 . The book was put into the bookcase . 1 . Where is your brother now ? - He has been sent to France . 2 . You have just been spoken about . 3 . At home she was laughed at . 4 . " I have just been ordered to bring in the prisoners , " said the soldier . 5 . Who was this letter written by ? . 6 . These flowers have just been picked . 7 . Were you asked to come a little earlier yesterday ? 8 . Next year his play will be staged at this theatre . 9 . This professor is always sent for in difficult situations . 10 . St . Paul 's Cathedral was built by the architect Wren . 11 . When was the letter written ? 12 . Where have the books been put ? 13 . The doctor will be sent for tomorrow . 14 . Many houses are built in St . Petersburg . 15 . Books by English and American writers are published all over the world . 16 . By the time he came , the letter had already been received . 17 . Our house is being repaired now . 18 . Nick is just being asked . 19 . Have the books been brought from the library ? 20 . This cinema had been built before we came here . 21 . Robert Burns ' poems are known in many countries of the world . 22 . When Charles Dickens was a little boy , his father was put into a debtors ' prison . 23 . This opera was written a hundred years ago . 24 . This novel has already been translated into five languages . 25 . Dinner was being cooked when I came home . 1 . I was introduced to her father yesterday . 2 . When I return home , all my suitcases will be packed ( will have been packed ) . 3 . What textbook is referred to in your report ? 4 . Had this composition been written before you made your report ? 5 . She was listened to very inattentively and everything she said was soon forgotten . 6 . This episode is much spoken about in our house . 7 . We were taken into the hall and offered good seats . 8 . Has the medicine been sent for ? - Yes , it is being looked for . 9 . He was brought up by his sister . 10 . Don 't worry , he will be helped with his work . 11 . Three new schools are being built in our district . 12 . This bridge is still being built . It was being built when I saw it for the first time . 13 . When I began helping them , they had already been translating the article for two hours , but it had not yet been translated . 14 . When I come home , dinner will still be cooked . 15 . This story was discussed at the literature lesson . 16 . Don 't speak until you are spoken to . 17 . Agatha Christie 's works have been translated to more than 100 languages . 1 . My uncle said he had just come back from the Caucasus . 2 . He said he had spent a fortnight in the Caucasus . 3 . He said it had done him a lot of good . 4 . He said he felt better now . 5 . He said his wife and he had spent most of their time on the beach . 6 . He said they had done a lot of sightseeing . 7 . He said he had a good camera . 8 . He said he had taken many photographs while travelling in the Caucasus . 9 . He said he would come to see us next Sunday . 10 . He said he would bring and show us the photographs he had taken during his stay in the Caucasus . 1 . Mike said he was sure Ann and Kate would be excellent guides . 2 . He said they had made good progress in English . 3 . Oleg said that in a day or two several English students would come to pay a visit to their school and he would probably have to act as an interpreter . 4 . Ann said she had just met Boris in the street . 5 . She said Boris had told her a lot of interesting things about his travels in the south . 6 . Nick said he was going to the hotel to see his friends who had just arrived in St . Petersburg from the United States of America . 7 . He said they had not been here for a long time . 8 . He said they had been friends at school . 9 . He said he would take them to the theatre on Sunday . 10 . They said they would write me a letter when they returned home . Упражнение 310 1 . were waiting . 2 . had already wound . 3 . would not be , went . 4 . knows . 5 . had not come . 6 . remembered . 7 . would arrest . 8 . did not want . 9 . will send . 10 . would leave . 11 . has already found . 12 . was striking . 13 . could , was . 14 . had ever travelled . 15 . was running . 16 . had just gone , would be . 1 . I was afraid that you would fall and break your leg . 2 . I knew that my friend had never been to Washington . 3 . I was told that she never drank milk . 4 . We were told that he was a very talented singer . 5 . We knew that they lived a happy life . 6 . She thought that the children were playing in the yard . 7 . She hoped that her friend would come to see her . 8 . He thought that father had repaired his bicycle . 9 . I supposed that she knew English very well . 10 . We were sure that our sportsmen would win the game . 11 . I found out that he did not know German at all . 12 . She was glad that she had made no mistakes in her dictation . 13 . I knew that he worked at his English hard . 14 . I was told that she danced better than anybody else . 15 . I learnt that my cousin had received a very interesting offer from his firm . 16 . My aunt wrote in her letter that she would come to stay with us . 17 . We heard that he was painting a new picture . 18 . We were sure that his new picture would be a masterpiece . 1 . I knew that Ann worked at a plant , that she had a husband and two children , that her family was very friendly and she was happy . 2 . He told me yesterday that he had studied at the university before . 3 . Last week we decided that next year we should all go to the Crimea . 4 . My sister said that she wanted to come to our place herself . 5 . I knew that she was very busy . 6 . Nobody knew that you were waiting here . Let 's go into the house . 7 . The guide warned us that in this part of the town the traffic was rather heavy . 8 . The secretary did not notice that the headmaster was speaking with somebody . 9 . We all knew that her family was in St . Petersburg again . 10 . Lena said that she was giving us this picture . 11 . She said that her colleagues always gave her very good advice . 12 . He said that he liked that play . 13 . Last year they thought that they would never read English well , but yesterday they saw that they read texts rather well . 14 . He told me yesterday that his father was a professor and lived in Moscow . 1 . I was afraid that I should lose my way in the forest . 2 . She knew that we had never seen her picture . 3 . The scientist was sure that he would find the solution of the problem . 4 . I knew that you had come to St . Petersburg and supposed that you would visit me . 5 . We did not think that he would be so angry . 6 . We learnt yesterday that she was ill . 7 . He thought that she would not come to school . 8 . I knew that my sister was studying French and thought that she would go to Paris . 9 . I was told that you had rung me up . 10 . I thought that you were in Moscow . 11 . I did not know that you had already returned to St . Petersburg . 12 . We hoped that we should go to London . 13 . The teacher said that our friends had sent a letter from London . 14 . She said that her friend had invited her to the theatre . 15 . We were afraid that we should not buy ( be able to buy ) a ticket to the theatre . 16 . We saw that the children were playing in the sand . 17 . She said that she would not bathe any more because the water was cold . 18 . My cousin said that she liked opera and would be glad to go to the theatre with us , although she had already listened to La Traviata twice . Упражнение 315 1 . I thought that he would wait for me . 2 . He was afraid that it would be difficult for him to make a report . 3 . He told us that when he had entered the room , his friend was already sitting on the sofa . He was reading a newspaper . 4 . We hoped that she would come soon . 5 . He said that he did not know when the conference would begin . 6 . I was sure that if we hurried , we should not miss the train . 7 . He asked me what I should do in the evening . I answered that I did not know if I should be free in the evening , but told him that if I was free , I should ring him up about eight o ' clock . 8 . Everybody was sure that Boris would pass his examinations well . 9 . He said that Lev ( Leo ) Tolstoy was his favourite writer . 10 . I knew that you lived in Moscow , but I did not know your address . 11 . He said that he would give up smoking . 12 . Everybody knew that she would go to Rome . 13 . We are sorry , we did not think that you were waiting for us . 14 . I did not know that you liked football , too . 15 . I was sure that he would be an outstanding actor . 16 . I was afraid that you would not follow my advice . 17 . I did not know that you would work in the reading room . Упражнение 316 1 . The teacher told me to hand that note to my parents . 2 . Oleg told his sister to put the letter into an envelope and give it to Kate . 3 . Robert asked Henry to help him with that work . 4 . He asked the waitress to bring him some fish soup . 5 . She told me not to worry over such a small thing . 6 . Mary asked her friend not to mention it to anybody . 7 . Jane asked Alice to promise to come and see her . 8 . He told us to come there the next day . 9 . I asked Mike to send me a telegram as soon as he arrived . 10 . Father told me not to stay there long . 11 . Peter told them not to leave the room until he came back . 12 . He told the porter to take his luggage to Room 145 . 13 . He asked me to ring him up the next day . 14 . She asked the waiter to bring her a cup of black coffee . 15 . Mother told us not to be late for dinner . 16 . Jane asked us to tell her all we knew about it . 17 . She asked Nick not to say anything about it to his sister . Упражнение 317 1 . My friend asked me to explain to him how to solve that problem . 2 . The doctor told Nick to open his mouth and show him his tongue . 3 . The man told Kate not to be afraid of his dog . 4 . The librarian told the boy to take that book and read it . 5 . The doctor told Pete not to go for a walk that day . 6 . Nick 's mother told him not to eat too much ice cream . 7 . The teacher told us to go home . 8 . My mother asked me to buy some meat in the shop . 9 . My mother told me to sit down at the table and do my homework . 10 . Granny told Helen not to forget to clean her teeth . 11 . The doctor told Mary not to sit up late . Упражнение 318 1 . He said that he had just received a letter from his uncle . 2 . He told me that he was going to the theatre that night . 3 . Mike said that he had spoken to Mr . Brown that morning . 4 . He told her that he would do it that day if he had time . 5 . I told them that I could give them my uncle 's address . 6 . Oleg said that his room was on the second floor . 7 . He said that he was sure she would ring him up when she was back in St . Petersburg . 8 . Misha said that he had seen them at his parents ' house the year before . 9 . He said that he had not seen his cousin that day . 10 . She said that she did not go to that shop very often . 11 . Tom said that he had already had breakfast and so he was not hungry . Упражнение 319 1 . The woman said that that man had spoken to her on the road . 2 . My classmate told me that he could not explain that rule to me . 3 . The teacher told the class that they would discuss that subject the next day . 4 . The woman told her son that she was glad she was there . 5 . Mike said that they had bought those books that day . 6 . She told me that now she could read my translation . 7 . Our teacher said that Thackeray 's novels were very interesting . 8 . She said that we should read that book in the 9th form . 9 . Nellie said that she had read " Jane Eyre " the year before . 10 . Alec said that his friend lived in Moscow . 11 . The teacher told me that I had not done my work well . 12 . The poor man told the rich man that his horse was wild and that it could kill the rich man 's horse . 13 . The rich man told the judge that the poor man 's horse had killed his horse . Упражнение 320 1 . The mother told the doctor that the children were in the nursery . 2 . The boy told his mother that he had no time for lunch that day . 3 . The woman told me that I spoke English very well . 4 . My brother told me that he was going to become a doctor . 5 . My uncle told us that he bought several newspapers every day . 6 . The teacher told the pupils that the following year they would have six hours of English a week . 7 . He told me that he wanted to see me that day . 8 . She said that she was free that night . 9 . Mother told me that she felt bad that day . 10 . The pupil told the teacher that he could do his homework after dinner . 11 . The teacher told Jack that she knew that he worked hard and added that he was a good boy . 12 . The old man told the girl that she could sing perfectly and added that he thought that she would be a famous singer . 13 . My sister told me that I looked very well , much better than I had looked the day before . She added that she thought I had recovered after my illness . 14 . My guest told me that I was an excellent cook and added that everything was very tasty . 15 . The student said that he could not answer that question because he did not understand it . Упражнение 321 1 . Masha said that she usually spent her holidays in the south . 2 . She said that she had spent her holidays in the Crimea the year before . 3 . Boris said that he went to the south every year . 4 . He said that he was going to a health resort the next day . 5 . Ann told us that they hadn 't yet come . 6 . She told us that they had arrived in St . Petersburg the day before . 7 . I said that I had been in London the year before and added that my friends in London sometimes invited me to spend my holidays with them . 8 . Nick said that he had never been to London and added that he thought he would go there the following year . 9 . He said that he would not stay with his friends too long . 1 . My friend told me that he would come as soon as he was ready . 2 . My sister said that we should know - that she had gone to the concert if she was not at home by eight . 3 . My girlfriend said that she would come to the Philharmonic with me if I got tickets . 4 . She told us that five years before there had been no people living there at all . 5 . Fred said that he would go skiing on Sunday if he had time . 6 . He said that they had finished building that house only the week before . 7 . Mary said that it would be very pleasant when Tom came home . 8 . My friend said that he would do it at once if I liked . 9 . She said that her brother had been there that day . 10 . He said that it was a pity I hadn 't come earlier . 11 . The teacher told the pupils that there would be an interesting lecture at the school assembly hall the next day . She added that one of their teachers would speak about Charles Dickens . 12 . Helen said that the year before she had spent her summer vacation in the Caucasus . 13 . The man said that he had come to live in that town several years before . 14 . Grandmother told us that she would be reading us a story until it was time to go to bed . 15 . My brother said that he had read all about it in that day 's newspaper . 1 . I told my grandmother to listen very carefully , when her turn came , to what the doctor told her . 2 . The laboratory assistant told me that if I was in a hurry , we should only do the first experiment . 3 . The writer told the correspondent that he would not start anything new until he had finished that novel . 4 . The boy 's father told him that when he got a job , he would buy him a warm coat . 5 . My mother told me that if I spilled the milk , there would not be any for the cat . 6 . She told me that she would show me her new dress when I came to see her on Sunday . 7 . Jane told Henry to bring Mary to their house if she arrived before seven . 8 . The PT teacher told the pupils not to wait until he came and to begin playing volleyball as soon as they finished the exercises . 9 . Mary told her mother to ask Robert , as soon as he appeared , where he had put the dictionary . 1 . I shall go to see the doctor tomorrow . 2 . I am ill . 3 . I have fallen ill . 4 . Tom did not come to school yesterday . 5 . You may catch cold . 6 . I have caught cold . 7 . While crossing the English Channel we stayed on deck all the time . 8 . I felt sick when crossing the Channel . 9 . I am feeling bad today . 10 . I have pain in my right side . 11 . I have just been examined by a good doctor . 12 . I shall not come to school until Monday . 13 . I spent a month at a health resort . 14 . My health has greatly improved since then . Упражнение 325 1 . Mother wanted to know who had brought that parcel . 2 . He asked her where she usually spent her summer holidays . 3 . Ann wondered when Mike had left London . 4 . She asked Boris when he would be back home . 5 . Boris asked them how he could get to the railway station . 6 . Mary was interested what time Tom would come there the next day . 7 . She asked me why I had not come there the day before . 8 . She wanted to know what I should do the next day if I was not busy at my office . 9 . I asked Nick where he was going . 10 . I asked him how long he was going to stay there . 11 . I wanted to know how long it would take him to get there . 12 . Pete asked his friends when they were leaving St . Petersburg . 13 . He asked them who they would see before they left there . 14 . They asked him what time the train started . 15 . I asked Mike what he would do after dinner . 16 . I asked my uncle how long he had stayed in the Crimea . 17 . Ada asked me where I had seen such trees . 18 . I asked Becky what kind of book her friend had brought her . Упражнение 326 1 . I forgot where I had put the book . 2 . She wanted to know who had given me that nice kitten . 3 . He asked me where he could buy an English - Russian dictionary . 4 . He wondered how long it would take my brother to get to Madrid . 5 . He didn 't tell anybody where he was going . 6 . Did you know where he had gone ? 7 . Did you know where he was ? 8 . I wanted to know when he was leaving school . 9 . Nobody knew where he lived . 10 . She asked them when he would come back . 11 . He wanted to know where she had bought that hat . 12 . I had no idea how much she had paid for it . Упражнение 327 1 . I asked Mike if he had packed his suitcase . 2 . I asked Kate if somebody had met her at the station . 3 . I asked her if she could give me their address . 4 . I wanted to know if Tom had had breakfast . 5 . I wondered if my sister would stay at home or go for a walk after dinner . 6 . I asked my mother whether somebody had come to see me . 7 . I asked my sister whether Nick would call for her on the way to school . 8 . She asked the young man if he could call a taxi for her . 9 . Mary asked Peter if he had shown his photo to Dick . 10 . Oleg asked me if I should come there the next day . 11 . He asked us if we had gone to the museum that morning . 12 . I asked Boris if his friend lived in London . 13 . I asked the man whether he was living in a hotel . 14 . Nick asked his friend if he would stay at the Hilton . 15 . He asked me whether I often went to see my friends . 16 . He asked me if I should see my friends before I left St . Petersburg . 17 . Mike wondered if Jane would come to the railway station to see him off . 18 . She wanted to know whether I had sent them a telegram . 19 . She asked me if I had sent them a telegram the day before . 1 . I did not know if they had sold the picture . 2 . I wondered if they knew something about it . 3 . She asked me if Jack had given me his telephone number . 4 . I was not sure if he was coming back that day . 5 . She asked me if I had found the book . 6 . The man asked if there were some more books there . 7 . I wanted to know if she had gone shopping the day before . 8 . He did not ask her whether she had bought the dictionary . 9 . I doubted if she knew the name of the man . 10 . I asked if Boris had seen the man that morning . 1 . Kate wondered if Mike liked her dress . 2 . Grandfather wanted to know what mark Mary had got at school . 3 . My sister asked me whether I should take her to the theatre with me the next day . 4 . Mother asked me if I had played with my friends the day before . 5 . Kate 's mother wondered why Kate didn 't play with her friends . 6 . My little sister asked me if I liked chocolates . 7 . Mr . Brown asked Lena if she had seen her granny the day before . 8 . The doctor asked Nick if he washed his face and hands every morning . 9 . The teacher asked Mike if his father worked at a factory . 10 . Mother asked us what we were doing there . 11 . Father asked Nick if he had done his homework . 12 . Tom asked Ann where her friends were . 1 . Has the doctor given you any medicine ? Are you feeling better now ? 2 . How long have you been in St . Petersburg ? 3 . Are you going to a health resort ? 4 . Is your father still in Moscow ? 5 . What sort of work does your father do ? 6 . Have they taken the sick man to hospital ? 7 . Do you have a headache ? 8 . When did you fall ill ? 9 . Have you taken your temperature ? 1 . Ann 's grandmother asked her if she liked her pies . 2 . Tom 's mother told him to sit down at the table and do his homework . 3 . John 's father was interested to know what they had done at school the day before . 4 . Helen 's aunt asked her whether she would play the piano that day . 5 . My uncle said that they would visit us the following week . 6 . The man told Nick not to cross the street when the lights were red . 7 . Mike told his father that he had taken a very good book from their library the day before . 8 . Lena asked ( invited ) Jane to come to her house the next day . 9 . Betsy 's mother asked her daughter where her books were . 1 . She said that she was busy that day and that she would be busier the next day . 2 . Jane said that she would come to school early the next day . 3 . They said that they would not go to school on Sunday . 4 . Mr . Dickson said that he would have to pay a lot of money for the car . 5 . Peter told me that he would be waiting for me at the station . 6 . Mary said that she would be back soon . 7 . She asked me what I was going to do when I came home . 8 . She said that she hoped she would soon speak English well . 9 . He said that he was sure it would rain the next day . 10 . They said that they would go to the river the next day if it was hot . 11 . He said that he was sure she would come in time . 12 . She said that she would be able to read English newspapers without a dictionary the following year . Упражнение 333 1 . My elder sister told me to lock the door when I left the house . 2 . She asked Robert if he had received a telegram from his wife . 3 . Mabel said that nothing would change her decision and she would leave for Cape Town that night . 4 . The old woman asked her nephew not to smoke in the room . 5 . The girl said that she was shivering with cold . 6 . The boy said that he wanted to sit in the armchair . 7 . The secretary told me that the delegation had arrived in St . Petersburg the day before . 8 . She asked me to open the window . 9 . He said that he would light a fire and make himself breakfast . 10 . The mother told her little daughter not to run to the door when she heard the bell . 11 . She asked me how long I was going to stay there . 12 . Mary asked me if I should spend my vacation in Moscow . Упражнение 334 1 . The teacher asked the children what they had prepared for that day . 2 . The teacher told the pupils not to open their books . 3 . Mother told me that I should go to the cinema the next day . 4 . Father told Jane to show him her exercise book . 5 . Kate asked the boys what they were doing there . 6 . Tom 's mother told him not to make noise . 7 . Helen asked Pete if he had played chess with his father the day before . 8 . Kate asked her grandmother to help her ( to ) cook the soup . 9 . Mike told the teacher that his sister knew two foreign languages . 10 . Tom told his sister that he had seen her friend at the library the day before . Упражнение 335 1 . My friend asked me when I had received that letter . 2 . The boys asked Peter if he would play football with them . 3 . Tom 's mother told him to go to bed . 4 . Nellie told Pete that she had never seen his toys . 5 . The teacher told Nick to give her his record book . 6 . Ann asked Lena to look at her nice kitten . 7 . Our grandmother said that we should go to the zoo the next day . 8 . Mother told Pete not to forget to wash his hands . 9 . Nick told his mother that he was doing his homework . 10 . Mike told the teacher that he had learnt a long poem . 11 . The man told the boys not to play in the street . 12 . My mother wanted to know why I did not drink my tea . 13 . Johnny told his mother that he had seen his friend at the stadium the day before . Упражнение 336 1 . My friend asked me if I was fond of going to the theatre . He wanted to know if I had seen some plays by Shakespeare . 2 . Nellie asked me if I had seen " Hamlet " the night before . 3 . I asked Nellie whether we should go to the theatre together . 4 . Nellie was interested to know whether Mike liked Shakespeare . She wanted to know if he would go to the theatre with us . 5 . Mike told Kate that he would buy some new stamps for her if she gave him that one . 6 . Mary asked Boris if he would bring his sister to the party with him . 7 . He asked me not to touch him . 8 . My father said that he thought he would not go to the beach with us that day because he was very busy . 9 . Tom told Ann that he was very thirsty and asked her to give him some lemonade . 10 . Aunt Polly told Tom not to lie to her and added that she was tired of his lies . Упражнение 337 1 . The teacher told us that we should have to work hard the next day . 2 . My girlfriend told me that she would not be able to go for a walk with me that day because she was very busy . 3 . She asked me how long I was going to stay in the country . 4 . He told me that he liked to go to the canteen during the break . 5 . He wanted to know when I should go to the canteen . 6 . John said that he had met them at the airport the day before . 7 . He said that he would come to the party if he was free the next day . 8 . She said that she would go to the cinema in the evening if she was not very tired . 9 . My mother told me that it would be difficult for me to get up the next day if I did not go to bed at once . 10 . Nina said that she liked music and added that she listened to it every evening before going to bed . 11 . My aunt said that she would not be thirsty if she ate some grapes . 12 . Mother told us not to go out before she returned . 13 . My sister said that she would be neither hungry nor thirsty if she had a cup of tea with a sandwich . 14 . Mary told Fred not to switch on TV and explained that she was working . Упражнение 338 1 . Prince John asked Locksley why he was shouting . He wanted to know what his name was . 2 . The teacher wanted to know who had read " Ivanhoe " . He asked us whom it had been written by . 3 . One of the pupils asked the teacher of literature what novels they would read the following year . 4 . The Frenchman wanted to know if the river Volga was in Russia . 5 . Ann asked the girls if they were playing volleyball . She added that she had not known that they liked it . 6 . Peter told us not to touch those photographs and explained that they were still wet and we might spoil them . 7 . Fred asked the boys if their friend often came there . He added that he wanted to speak to him . 8 . My friend asked me how I had managed to solve that difficult problem in such a short time . 9 . The teacher told us that we should write a paper the next day . 10 . Kate told Nick that she had seen a new film the day before . Nick wondered whether she had liked it . Упражнение 339 1 . We asked a passerby whether he knew where the Browns lived . 2 . Andrew told us that there were a lot of trains to his station on Sunday and added that we should have no problems getting to his country place . 3 . He asked me if I often met his sister at the library . 4 . Nick wanted to know if the teacher would return their exercise books that day . 5 . The woman said that her nephew was a very capable young man . She added that he had just graduated from college , but he was already a very skilful specialist . 6 . The doctor told me to sit still and not to move my head . 7 . Vera told Helen that she wanted to know how her cousin liked working at that hospital . 8 . The teacher told us not to forget to bring our exercise books the next day and explained that we were going to write a very important paper . 9 . The girl wanted to know how she could get to the curcus . The man told her to take tram number five . 10 . Mike told Kate that he was very sorry and added that he had forgotten to bring her dictionary . 11 . The neighbour wondered when my mother went shopping . Упражнение 340 1 . He told me to come at nine o ' clock and added that he would be free at that time and we should have a nice cup of coffee . 2 . Nina asked her friend what the professor had spoken about in his lecture . 3 . He said that the man was one of the best speakers he had ever heard . 4 . He said that he had not yet seen the film I was talking about . 5 . He said that he had seldom gone to see his friend in May as he had been very busy . 6 . She asked her brother whether he would manage to get tickets to the Philharmonic on Sunday . 7 . My friend said that they had arrived in Kiev on Saturday and the next day they had gone to have a look around the city . 8 . She asked if I had lived in St . Petersburg ten years before . 9 . She asked me if I was going to leave St . Petersburg for the summer . 10 . My friend told me that the discussion would still be going on when I returned . 11 . He said that he was proud of his brother who had taken the first prize at the competition . 12 . She wanted to know how long I had been living in St . Petersburg . 13 . She said that he had just left . 14 . He was interested to know when my parents would arrive in St . Petersburg . 15 . She wanted to know if I had been present at the meeting the day before . Упражнение 341 1 . My aunt said that she would gladly go to the cinema with us because she had not seen that film and she wanted to see it very much . 2 . The teacher asked the pupils which of them could answer his question . 3 . She asked the doctor if he thought that simple food was better for children than rich food . 4 . Vera wondered why their team had lost the game and added that it had always been very strong . 5 . Tom wanted to know where Mary had put his book and added that he could not find it . 6 . Fred said that he was very happy and explained that he had bought a very good bicycle . 7 . The man asked the boys whom they were waiting for . 8 . Mary said that she would not go to the party the next day because she did not feel well . 9 . Walter said that they had seen a lot of places of interestУпражнение 342 1 . A friend of yours called on you half an hour ago . 2 . I study at Moscow University . 3 . My brother is playing chess with my grandfather . 4 . It is very difficult to play this role . 5 . Why are there so few people in the street ? 6 . Do you know where you live ? 7 . Don 't worry and go home quietly . 8 . I shall sleep in the open air . 9 . Are you going to leave St . Petersburg tomorrow ? 10 . I bought this watch yesterday . 11 . I have just had a telephone call from home . 12 . Leave the key at your sister 's , please . 13 . I cannot understand the rule . 14 . I bought a ticket yesterday . Упражнение 343 1 . I saw the film several months ago . 2 . I haven 't seen it yet . 3 . I want to make a radio set . 4 . I have made a radio set . 5 . I often go to see Bob . 6 . I have seen Mary today . 7 . I like Dickens ' novels very much . 8 . I read " Dombey and Son " last year . 9 . The pupils ( You ) will read the text tomorrow . 10 . Buy some bread on your way home , please . 11 . Don 't be late for dinner . 12 . Have you " Gulliver 's Travels " ? 13 . Have you read " Robinson Crusoe " by Daniel Defoe ? 14 . Will you be at home at three o ' clock ? 15 . Who is ill ? 16 . What did you see at the museum ? Упражнение 344 1 . Have your passports ready . 2 . Pass up the gangway . 3 . You will find your luggage on deck . 4 . Will you go down to your cabin or stay up on deck ? 5 . I am a bad sailor and cannot stay on deck . 6 . Take our luggage to cabin number eight . 7 . Do you often go to England ? 8 . I don 't cross the English Channel very often for it is rough as a rule . 9 . Do you know when the boat is due at Southampton ? 10 . Do you think it will take us long to get through the customs ? Упражнение 345 1 . Will you be busy tomorrow ? 2 . Will you come to the Philharmonic with me ? - At what time are you planning to go ? - It will take us long to get there . - Where shall we meet ? 3 . Are you afraid of thunderstorm ? 4 . Have you ever walked in rainy weather ? 5 . I prefer sunny days . 6 . Are you in a hurry ? 7 . Will you go to the country tomorrow ? 8 . What do you like to do on your days off ? 9 . May I speak to the headmistress ? 10 . Will you give me your book ? Упражнение 346 1 . Are you going to your hometown for the holidays ? 2 . I couldn 't ring you up in time . 3 . Wait for me , please . 4 . Does anyone else know about my arrival ? 5 . When will you take your last examination ? 6 . Did you take part in the football match ? 7 . Where do you live ? 8 . I have joined a sports society . 9 . I saw your brother yesterday . 10 . Hurry up as there is little time left before the beginning of the meeting . 11 . Has the rain stopped ? 12 . It is still raining . 13 . I have found the book you are looking for . 14 . I don 't like the main character of the book , but I cannot explain why . 15 . What will you do if you don 't find the book you need ? 1 . Vera answered ( Nina ) that her favourite books were " Gulliver 's Travels " and " Robinson Crusoe " and added that now she was reading a novel by Walter Scott . 2 . Nina said that the year before they had learnt some poems by Byron and Shelly and added that they were very beautiful . 3 . Vera told Nina that she knew many poems by those great poets and added that she had also read some books about Byron and Shelley . 4 . Nina said that that year they would read a play by Shakespeare in English . Упражнение 350 1 . Peter asked Ann if they had run a race the day before . Ann answered that they had and added that Tamara had been the first to come to the finish . 2 . Tom asked his mother where his bag was . His mother said that she had put it on the chair near the door and told Tom ( him ) not to forget to put his record book into it . 3 . The children asked their mother why they could not play there . Their mother said that their father was sleeping . She added that their father had worked very much that day and told the children to keep quiet . 4 . Alec asked us why we helped her and added that she was lazy and could do everything herself . 5 . Lena said that she did not want to go to the zoo and explained that she had been there the week before with her cousin and seen all the animals . 6 . Nick asked his father to look at his stamps and wondered when his father would buy some new ones for him . 7 . Tanya said that she could not do that exercise and added that it was too difficult . Her brother wanted to know why she had not asked her teacher to explain it . 8 . The lighthouse keeper asked his assistant if he could see the lights in the distance . The assistant answered that he could and added that a ship was giving signals . |
Still have a few un posted portraits from Thailand that I would like to share . This man came walking down the road towards me , dragging on a little mini tree . Considering the 30 + temperature , you can 't really blame him for leaving his t - shirt at home . Curious about where he was going , I decided to show him my camera to start a conversation . Never got an answer to my question , but I think we talked about sun , smile and happiness . After spending some time in thailand , I 'm back in London , and will continue to shoot portraits in the South London area . This sweet man is actually staring in my blog for the second time . First time appearing in the far background of " Man With Yawning Dog " . Blurred out in the background , it was then hard to notice his passion for the sticks , so I thought it was worth a second capture . 2 When I asked to photograph this man he must have thought I was really into his shopping habits , which is kind of true . Remembering back , I was fascinated by his white , see through bag , filled up with small version bananas , but at no point did I asked him to hold it up and show them to me . Nonetheless , I am happy he did . We walked down the street together , pointing and talking about bananas , apparently . After a few hundred meters we came to his stop . A tiny shop , where he passed on the bananas to someone else . 1 Comments Around Chiang Mai 's city center , the old town , is a big moat . Of course , every now and then some small leafs drops into it . When I was walking along observing the city , I met the guy who 's job is to clean it all up . His working tool , which I couldn 't manage to fit all in the photo , is probably 5 - 6 meters long . Made from bamboo , makes it light weight , but I can still imagine it 's pretty hardcore to maneuver it around the whole day in the burning sun . 2 Apperantly this road had restricted access . But to be honest , when I reached the gate , I wasn 't sure if I was on the inside or outside of the restricted area . Non the less , the gate made me unsure about my onwards journey , so I decided to ask the guard if it was okay to pass or not . Resting in the shadow , the guy didn 't understand much of what I was saying , but he opened the gate with a smile and sent me through . 2 One of the many good things about Chiang Mai is that it 's full of small , narrow streets where I can easily walk around , uninterrupted by cars , to hunt for people . In this little passage , I got stopped by the man above . He was hanging out with his friends and wanted to show of his thai boxing skills when he saw my camera . I took it as an invite and started photographing . This was the last photo I took of him , and I think it symbolizes victory . After the opponent is beaten , you hush the applauding crowd . I got eye contact with this little , old lady at a traffic light when I was about to cross the street in Chiang Mai . Since she looked so cute with her apron and plastic bag I thought it would be nice to take her portrait . I held up my camera , asked for a photograph and pointed at the green wall . She smiled , and went to stand in front of it , whilst I went out in the busy street to photograph . While walking through a back alley in Chiang Mai I met this man and his dog . From the looks of it they were going on a run together . I tried to ask , but his face was left with a question mark , so I decided to leave the subject and put my effort into pronouncing " khob - kun - Ka " ( thank you in thai ) correctly instead . This is not meant to be a travel blog , but since I 'm constantly on the move now a days , I thought I 'd include my latest location . Two days ago I left Bangkok and arrived in Chiang Mai . The people here seem to know even less english , but on the bright side , they also seem to be more relaxed and easy going about meeting foreigners . Sadly , my lack of thai knowledge and their lack of english skills results in fewer , cosy people stories . My meetings though , doesn 't feel any less interesting . This man surprised me from around a street corner . I loved his outfit , the way it reminded me of a military uniform from the olden movies . Quickly I tried to catch his attention by showing him my camera and ask for a portrait . At first he seemed confused , but without saying anything I kept pointing my camera at him , knotting my head . Suddenly he stopped and went into this position , without moving , just looking at me . I took a few steps back and snapped the photo . Since early Januar 2012 I 've been mostly shooting my portraits in the southern part of London , Peckham and surrounding areas . The beauty of the people there is hard to compete against . However , a few days ago I left for Thailand to work on a people - project in Doi Saket , Chiang Mai . On my way , I 've stopped in Bangkok and spent the whole day roaming around looking for subjects . Without a map , without a plan and without a clue on where I was going , it sure was a hot and interesting experience . Chalit , in the photo above , was one of the few people that actually agreed to be photographed . I thought Thailand , The Land of Smiles would be an easy target , but it turned out that people here are quite shy and more than average sceptic to curly haired foreigners with glasses . It didn 't help that most people I felt like asking couldn 't understand a word of what I was saying . 2 From a distance I noticed John 's outfit . It instantly intrigued me because it seemed like he still lived in the olden days , only this was Camberwell 2012 . The 81 years old was fashionable , old - school looking and classy all at the same time . I got closer to him and was about to stop him to have a talk , when I noticed what looked like tears running from his eyes . For a second I questioned myself if it was okay to ask a crying person for a photograph . We got eye contact and I decided to ask anyway . On a second thought , it might just have been the wind in his face , that made the tears , but I 'm still to this day not sure . 3 In front of this partly painted wall I met Sandra . I instantly fell in love with the combination of colors and her beautiful head piece . I wanted to photograph her so bad that I think it made me a bit extra nervous when I decided to stop her . In general people are sceptic when I approach them , and Sandra was no different . She even confirmed this in an email she sent me today . After some stumbling , I kind of explained to her what I was doing , whereafter she made my day and agreed to be photographed . 0 Tommy ( 69 ) had just exited the pub and came walking straight towards me . At the moment it felt like he was about to ask me something , rather than the other way around . This is always a good feeling to have when I 'm out shooting , as I then kind of know already that he 's up for being photographed . And as I thought , he gave me the thumbs up . Tommy was very interested in learning from me what to do , where to stand , how to smile , etc . I told him he was perfect as he were and asked him to hold his position . 0 It was early morning and I was walking around for hours receiving plenty of rejections from people too busy , on their way to work . The frustration was getting to me , but then on a small street just of the main road , this man got trapped between the wall and myself . I guess he felt the pressure , and kindle gave me a yes to be photographed . When I showed him a preview of the photo , he raised his voice in excitement , yet it didn 't stop him from walking of . In a desperate attempt to maintain contact , I shouted ; ' what is your name ? ' With a turn of the head , I received the answer ; ' Michael ' . 2 This is the second Frank I meet in only a few days . Does the same name mean same look and personality too ? In this case I would have to say no . Whilst the previous Frank was very neat and tidy , the new Frank had a more rough look going on . Long hear , beard and an old leather jacket . Our meeting was very short , yet we got to know each other quite well . He told me in anger how he had just spent £ 6 on new passport photos , and showed me them together with an empty wallet . I told him that I would be happy to send him some copies of the photo I took of him for free , and asked for his email address . Unfortunately Frank wasn 't that much of an internet user and didn 't have an email , so he asked if I could send it by post instead . After some writing problems , I got the address and hope to send the photo soon . 1 Comments Of Frank 's 80 year old life , 50 of them had been spent living in Peckham . Clearly he knew a lot . As for me , having lived in Peckham less than a year , I felt inexperienced talking to him . Yet the more interesting it became . Myself I would describe Peckham as a very multicultural , up and coming area , filled with young people and artists due to the low prices ( compared to Central London ) . Frank however , ensured me that it wasn 't always like this . Over the years he had witnessed a lot of changes to the area , both in terms of local residents , culture and environment . If it was for the better or worse , he kept a little bit secret , but I didn 't get the impression that he wanted to move anytime soon . 1 Comments Julie 's yellow hair and pale face was quite easy to notice along the sidewalk . It made me curious and I wanted to know more about her , so I decided to say hellu . Little did I know that Julie is a really great multitalented artist , working with a mix of fashion , illustration , design and video . After a quick look at her website ( julieverhoeven . com ) , I found out that she had done work for pretty much all the biggest names in the fashion industry ; Versace , H & M , Louis Vuitton , Dazed , you name it . As well as some beautiful decoration work for one of my favorite London restaurants , Sketch . 0 Derek ( 77 ) was just hanging out on a bench with his friend , when I noticed his characteristic face . It looked like he was about to say goodbye , so I felt okay with interrupting . At first he told me no to be photographed , but he didn 't ask me to leave . Instead he asked me where I was from , and he seemed quite interested in what I was doing . After some quick lines about Norway and photography , Derek had changed his mind and felt comfortable enough to sit for a portrait . We ended up spending the next 20 minutes on the bench together , talking about his coach trip around europe , the Second World War , and a very lucky dentist appointment . 2 Barry and I met when I was asking a sweet old man if I could do a portrait . He gave me what sounded as a no , and at the same time Barry showed up and started talking to him . Just incase I had misunderstood his no , and it was actually a yes , I decided to wait on the other side of the road until they finished their conversation . The elderly guy walked on while Barry tried to convince him to stay for a picture . It gave me good vibes and I ended up having a nice conversation and photo session with Barry instead . The former postman knew my own street and neighborhood better than me . And , when I think about it now , it make so much sense that he used to be a postman . Nice , talkative and friendly to everyone . On his way out , just a few hundred meters from his house , he had already managed to have a good talk with three different people . The old man , myself and a lady neighbor , which he also convinced to be photographed by me . 0 I was waiting at a corner in front of this wall , when John ( 83 ) came from his grocery shopping . Fascinated by both the wall and him , I asked if he could stand in front of it for a moment , whilst I took a photograph . Sometimes it impresses me how kind and helpful people are after a bit of explanation . For a man of average hight , not much taler than me ( I 'm not very tall ) , it intrigued me how tallish John looked . Happy with the photo , I gave him my CupofPea web address and asked if he could have a look online . John told me he didn 't use the internet and then asked how to pronounce the three first letters i had written down . I willingly agreed that my handwriting isn 't the best and explained it was the letter ' W ' times three . He looked at me and said ; ' Ah , World Wide Web ! ? ' . I said ; ' Exactly ! ' . Felt my whole body smile , thanked him and walked off . 1 Comments Believe it or not this will be my first post without the person 's name . Maybe it was her sad story that threw me off . Or was it the lovely jumper that I thought suited her so well . She had lost her mums pills ( some medicine ) which she had just purchased from the chemist , and now she was desperately walking around trying to find them . As she said ; pills can be expensive if you don 't have a job . When she told me this I almost felt bad for taking up her time , but she explained how she used to do photography as well , and was more than happy to help me out . 0 Will ( 30 ) might not have been my typical kind of subject , but I thought his outfit was quite original , so I decided to interrupt his walk . He worked at a local hospital and was on his way to lunch with some fellow colleagues . In lack of another nice place to shoot , I asked if we could take the photo in the middle of the road . When I was photographing I noticed how Will liked to be in front of the camera . Even when a car was approaching fast behind him and his colleagues were shouting at him from down the road , he held this exact position . 0 Scared by his sword and armor , I passed Jake ( 5 ) three times before I dared to ask ( him and his mum ) if I could take his portrait . And this was even before he was wearing his helmet . He gave me his blessing , placed the helmet over his head and got into position . Looking at the photo you might assume that Jake was on his way to a costume party . But in fact he was just on his way to the bank , followed by some fun in the park . In the front - garden of an apartment complex I met Mary ( 80 ) and her little dog Kerry . They were out strolling for some fresh air and didn 't seem too busy , so I went over to have a chat . My original plan when approaching was to do a portrait of both of them together . However , I don 't think Kerry really liked to be photographed . She was constantly running out of frame , fully extending the red leash . Mary on the other hand , insisted that her dog loved to be photographed and kept pulling Kerry back . 0 When I was out walking today a bus stopped next to me and out came Jeremy ( 42 ) with his cute cat in a little cage . He placed the cage on the ground for a second to light up a cigarette , so I walked over and asked if I could take a photo . Although the cat looks slightly worried , I like to think that they both agreed on being photographed . Out of curiosity , I asked where they were going . I didn 't manage to get all the details , but Jeremy told me the cat had to go away for a while . Lets hope for a nice holiday resort of some kind . It 's not often you walk down the street and see 80 year old ladies carrying bags around like this . Pauline ( 80 ) was on her way to the local club for a day of fun and games with the girls ( as she put it ) . She was wondering why I wanted to photograph her , and told me a joke about how her husband used to say her presence ruined photographs . That was of course not true ! I thought she looked really lovely , as made for an intriguing picture . The bag looked heavy and I felt like giving her a hand , but the weight of the bag didn 't seem to bother Pauline at all . She insisted on holding it throughout our little photo - shoot , and as we were heading the same way I offered to carry it for her , but she refused to take my help . It was nothing left for me to do than to wish her a great day and best of luck with the game - playing . Mary was almost too cute to be true . I crossed my fingers when walking towards her , hoping she would agree to be photographed . She seemed a bit strict at first , but she wasn 't at all . In fact , she laughed about me wanting to photograph her , and asked if it wasn 't expensive for me to take so many photos . Happy as a smily - face , I explained to her about the digital age and how I could view the photos straight away . Mary was obviously up to date with the latest fashion . Her shoes can be found on youngsters all over London , and her jacket I thought was quite trendy as well . Today I met another fellow Bushey Hill neighbor on my way home from coffee . When I saw him , Kwame ( 23 ) had just tuned in to his music and was about to pass me , but with a little hello , I managed to catch his attention . We talked for a bit and I found out we had some common interest . Kwame studies architecture , but also has a deep interest in fashion , design and art . He gave me the address to his blog , which I have to say is pretty cool , hence the name : The Vault of Ultimate Cool . Check it out ! ! 0 London is getting colder as we speak , yet it 's not everyday I meet men wearing earmuffs . I 've always been fascinated with this piece of " clothing " . Was it made to keep the hair cool and the ears warm ? Whichever , I thought they suited Michael quite well . He 's been living in the Camberwell area for more than 20 years , and I 'm sure I 've already past him lots of times , so I thought it was about time to ask for his portrait . More interesting facts about the earmuffs can be found here . Little did I know that they 've actually been around for ages . Today I met a new neighbor , Blatton Slavick , who lives just a few houses down the road from me . Actually it was another neighbor pointing him out , when he left his house in Bushey Hill . His colorful scarf and round glasses caught my attention , so I approached him to have a little chat . He kept eating on his apple , but he didn 't seem to mind me photographing him at the same time . It turned out that Blatton is an artist as well , working mainly with paint . After our brief talk , he invited me to drop by his house later with a copy of the photo . Maybe it will give me the chance to see some of his work too . I 'm excited ! Asking strangers to stand for a photograph is not always easy . I hope for a yes , but prepare myself for a no . When I asked Patrick , he gave me a no , and continued on walking down the street . It was a shame because I really liked his white outfit with a dash of red and the laptop under his arm . However , a few meters down the road , Patrick stopped and called me over . Luckily for me , he had changed his mind and asked me where to stand . After the photograph we talked for a bit and he pulled from his wallet a picture of his girlfriend , which he said would have been perfect for my blog . She had bright red hair and a very interesting look . I thanked for his suggestion and gave him my card incase they wanted to look me up . Lost in between huge council estates in the South of London , I felt very lonely on the street . Why don 't I just hang around on busy street corners , where people pass by all the time ? The thing is , you never know when and where the next interesting person will show up . It is something about the quiet atmosphere that gives photos a different mood . Alan ( 76 ) was about to exit this barred gate when I saw him . He was on one side , and I on the other . At first I thought he might be scared by my approach , thinking I was an intruder or something , but Alan wasn 't scared at all . He opened the gate and was happy to be photographed in front of it . He was on his way to visit his stepdaughter , who lived just across the street . I didn 't feel like taking up too much of his time , so I thanked him and continued down the quiet road alone . 0 Tom is not a difficult guy to find . 8 hours a day , 7 days a week , he spends in his little car outside the Snappy Snaps store in Camberwell green , London . It might sound a bit crazy , but when you 're 81 years old and sick of spending your days inside a empty apartment , it 's actually quite nice . Tom has chosen a busy spot , which makes people - watching easy . All though , after talking to him for 10 minutes , I got the impression that he was mostly interested in the ladies . Tom had a great sense of humor and he told me that one of his biggest joys in life was to make other people smile . He kept honking the horn , calling over elderly ladies , and wishing for snow , so he could install skis under his car . 0 Apparently Tarcisio was on a cigarette - break / salad - pick - up . I thought it was an interesting combination , so I asked for his portrait . He answered me ; ' Brasileiro , no english ' . As he didn 't understand a word of what I was saying , I pointed at my camera , and then pointed at him . He smiled and nodded his head , so I assumed he was okay with it . I got a few shots and what I think is his name , before he went back to his bakery shop . 0 Patrick ( 72 ) , aka Pedro was busy talking to a lovely lady when I noticed him . I didn 't want to be rude and interrupt them , so sadly I decided to walk by without asking for a photograph . Luckily for me , another guy walked up to the lady and asked her for directions , so I grabbed the chance to have a chat with Pedro . The lady was watching us , and she kept joking with Pedro , saying he was famous . Looking at him now , it wouldn 't have surprised me if he was . Not many 72 - year - old beats Pedor 's sweet coolness . 0 I noticed Mark and Louise when we were walking towards each other on the sidewalk along Southampton way . I 'm not sure exactly what it was , but it was something about them that fascinated me . Maybe I felt they had a typical english look going on . The photo makes them look quite serious , but my impression of them when we met , was the complete opposite . They were wearing same button tags on their coats saying ' outside bet ' . I wish I had asked what it was for . Our meeting was very brief , and I 'm still to this day , curious about how they were related . Later I 've been told that ' Outside bet ' is the title of a film that will be released this April . The film is based on a book Mark wrote called ' The Mumper ' . 3 When I met Joan I instantly knew it was going to be a nice meeting . I think her earrings describes her personality well . Warm , lovely and colorful . We talked for a while and I felt a really good connection . She kept saying things that made me smile , and I think I made her smile too . She admitted to me that she was very happy about being photographed . The reason for this , she explained with a simple image on her phone . It 's fair to say that Joan used to be bigger than what she looks like today . I don 't remember the exact details , but she had lost a lot of weight over the last months . It was hard for me to believe that the lady in the image she showed me was the same as the one standing in front of me . 0 David was on his way home when I saw him . He was a few meters in front of me , so I had to increase my speed , in order to catch up . Just before he entered his house , I shouted ; hey , which was enough to make him turn around . It was early morning and the light in the street was really nice , so I asked if we could take a photo there . He explained to me that he had just woken up , but despite that , he didn 't turn me down . What first intrigued me so much about David was his super long hair . It didn 't seem like he planned to cut it any time soon . When I asked for how long he had been saving , the answer was ; 17 years . From across the street I noticed Ja ' far 's ginger beard . I thought it was too good to let go , so i decided to run after him . Ja ' far was originally from Canada , but had spent the last twenty years living in London . Of course I had to ask about his beard . When I look at it now , my question might have come across as a bit stupid . But anyways , I asked if it was his natural color . He laughed , and said it was the same color as mine . I told him mine was the real deal , and he started explaining me all about the henna tradition , and how he colored his beard . As beard grow fast , you 're supposed to dye it quite often . For Ja ' far , often meant one month ago , and he excused his rough look . I thought it looked perfect ! Lesson learned ; Henna dye is a lot more healthy than normal dye . Today I walked for almost two hours without meeting anyone to photograph . It was cold , rainy , and I even questioned myself why I bother to do this blog . Then , on a street corner close to Peckham , I found my answer . Jay Kay used to play the drums in a band producing similar tunes to the great Fela Kuti . Looking at his outfit , his musician background didn 't surprise me . Unfortunately Jay Kay had to retire a few years ago after suffering a stroke , but I can confirm that his ability to spread joy amongst people was absolutely still there . He promised not to forget me , and I will certainly not forget him , so hopefully we 'll meet again soon . 0 This portrait was the result of a knock on my door yesterday morning . Postman Steven ( 47 ) was trying to push a package through my letter box . Unfortunately , it got stuck half way through , and he wasn 't able to deliver the rest of the mail . When I opened the door , we both had to work together in order to get the package loose . After a few words , Steven went on with his route and I went back in side . Though , regretting not to have talked more with him , I quickly got dressed , grabbed my camera and went after him . Just up the road I found him talking to another neighbor . It really showed his true postman - spirit ; nice to everyone ! We talked about his 17 years working for the Royal Mail post service , his regular route up Bushey Hill , and my letter box , which is way to small . He didn 't complain , but I got the feeling I should try too do something about it . 1 Comments Bendik ( 64 ) , was also one of the friendly people I met in the woods last Sunday . And , , he was also one of the few that I had the chance to talk with , as he stopped to repack his bag , and spent a second to enjoy the beautiful nature . I instantly fell in love with his hat , which didn 't seem to serve much purpose . Bendik agreed to be photographed , but he kept fiddling with his bag , so I thought maybe he was a bit shy . However , after I finished photographing , he asked if I was submitting the photo to the next issue of playboy . I told him yes , laughed , and gave him the address to my blog . Unfortunately I don 't know much about these two lovely ladies . They looked slightly scared and sceptic when I approached them , but after some convincing , they agreed to take a quick photograph , though , on one condition , that they didn 't have to tell me their names . For me it made the meeting more mystical , so I told them not a problem . Our conversation was very brief , as they both had more important things to do than hanging around chatting with me . Can 't really blame them . As many other Norwegians today , I 've been out , walking in the woods . It is sort of a tradition in Norway , that when it comes to Sunday , you put your skies or walking - shoes on , and go for a trip in the woods . We call it ' Søndagstur ' ( Sunday - trip ) . It was plenty of people out today , but most of them were skiing fast by me , so difficult subjects to catch . Then , after an hour of walking , I met Morten ( 57 ) . He was having a little break at one of the view spots along the track . When I was photographing him , I noticed that he had a genuine interest in what I was doing , so I asked if he was a photographer too . It turned out , he is a great cinematographer , with experience beyond my imagination . He had a couple of tips for me and as we shared common interests , the talk went really easy . The portrait couldn 't have described a ' Søndagstur ' any better . He had the look of one of those classic Norwegian character from a Hollywood movie . And , he was eating an orange , which is one of two mandatory snacks when your on a Sunday - trip . On top of that , he shared his orange with me , which I thought was pretty great and really kind . What a lovely day ! Tex was standing more or less exactly like this when I saw him outside his car garage in Peckham . I liked his rough worker look , so I crossed the road , to go and talk to him . Before I had finished my little introduction , a customer came over and payed Tex some money . It was a slightly awkward moment , where I was just standing next to them , not knowing if Tex wanted me to leave or not . I decided to hang around , looking up into the air , so I din 't seem too nosy . When the customer left , I asked for the portrait . I don 't think Tex cared too much , but he gave me a nod and said it was cool . First when I got home , I noticed his fly was open , but knowing Tex , I don 't think he 'll mind . 0 Laurence was way a head of me when I noticed his awesome hair . I was unsure if I could catch up with him or not , but decided to give it a go . I picked up my speed and followed him down an empty street . As I was about to reach him , to my big surprise , he suddenly turned around and asked if I had any money . It 's not an unusual thing in London that people ask for coins to take the bus or something . Unfortunately I didn 't have anything on me , so I kindly said no . Normally I 'm the one that starts the conversation , and after turning him down , it felt a bit harder asking for his portrait . However , I felt the good vibes , so I asked anyway . After a few snaps , we were both happy . Laurence asked me one more time for change . I apologized and said no again , thanked him for the photo , before we walked of in separate directions . 0 I was being lazy driving down the road , when i passed the sweet couple , Leif and Marit . It was something about them that caught my eye . Maybe it was the walking poles and the lovely combination of colors . Well , I decided to park my car , and walk back to have a chat with them . It turned out , they were really nice locals from Kjelsås in Oslo , out for a exercise / walk in the beautiful weather . The sun was shining , and with temperature just below 0 degrees , it keeps the snow in perfect condition for a beautiful trip . As per usual , I had to ask for their age . I won 't go in to details , but added up , they are soon turning 170 years . Looking at them , I find it hard to believe . If only I can be in this great shape , when turning their age . Today I 've been in Oslo and helped out at a local volunteer center . Driving out groceries is one of the daily duties , and my first stop was 84 year old , Reidar . The former lawyer had a small back problem , and shopping in the snow , was no longer easy for him . Apart from this , Reidar was still going strong . I entered his house , and the first thing I noticed , was a laptop in the living room . When I asked if it belonged to him , he looked at me and explained how he couldn 't live without it . Reidar didn 't strike me as the typical laptop user , but email , internet and online banking , was all part of his daily routine . When I was about to find my way out , he insisted on following me to the door . At the doorstep , I noticed the beautiful light that was shinning through the house , and I asked to take his portrait . He accepted with thanks . 1 Comments The first time I met Robert , I was actually photographing Ron , 77 ( on the left in the photo below ) . I was explaining Ron what my blog was about , and how I liked to photograph people I found interesting . At the same time , Robert walked passed and overheard our conversation . Without me knowing , he stopped behind me , and as I backed up to photograph Ron , I bumped into him . A bit offended and disappointed , Robert questioned how I could photograph interesting people , but not wanting to photograph him ? I explained that I would love to take his portrait after I had finished taking Ron 's . Robert must have been in a hurry . Instead of waiting for us to finish , he decided to jump into the frame . I love how Ron had one of those smiles where you can 't tell if he is comfortable or not . Before we knew it , Robert was already on his way , and I didn 't get the chance to talk to him . Luckily , a few days later , our tracks passed again . Robert remembered me , and I asked him if I could take a proper portrait this time . He removed his hat and placed his hands on the back . It was a perfect moment ! Although he had some very sad life stories to share , I thought he was quite positive . I believe his face showed his true kindness . Hopefully we 'll meet again , so I can give him a copy of this photograph . |
The last couple of weeks were a bit stressful . I started preparations way to late . Before I knew it , I had only 3 weeks left to make my costume . And in the weekend before we left I hadn 't even made a simple schedule telling us when to fly and pick up the car or where to go . It was a relief to have Chuckie and Kaylo out of the car , although it never feels good leaving them behind . They were ' grandma 's ' problem now . We made the two and a half hour drive to Amsterdam Airport with my mother 's navigation system instead of our own because we thought we updated hers and it had the UK maps . Unfortunately that didn 't seem to be the case and we missed the same exit as 2 years before . But wait ! It gets better . Before we get into that I first have to tell you a nice airplane story . We checked in at the airport and discovered we were not seated next to each other . Oh great . But I wasn 't to worried about that . Just that I would get startled by the movements of the plane and grab the poor person next to me , like almost happened last time . When we had to get ready for landing a stewardess came up to me and ask me to please set my seat up straight , which I thought was weird , cause I never put my seat back and I remembered they had also checked it before take off and all seemed fine . I didn 't even know how to do it and so she helped me . When she showed me it had to be done by pressing the arm rest it dawned on me what must have happened . I was holding my seatbelt with both hands , but when the first sharp turn came I grabbed the arm rest in a reflex and didn 't let go til everything was flying calm and straight again . So I must have put my seat back without even noticing . Because my body froze up and I could only relax a few minutes later and finally sat back , I hadn 't felt any difference . When we arrived at the carpark , I neatly packed it away in the dashboard cabinet and we only realised in Bristol , standing in front of the car rental that we didn 't take it with us ! Ronald was afraid we forgot to pull out the plug and that the car battery would be dead when we would return but I told him : ' How stupid do you think I am ? I tucked it neatly away ! ' Pfff men . whahahaha So he was glad about that . After breakfast I couldn 't wait to see Robert 's Tree ! Alison made some pictures a week or two prior to our visit and it looked beautiful . A few people had left things around the tree . There was a small silver heart on the stone with the plaque and iron hearts on the fence . But when we walked up they had taking it all down ! There were just a few easter chicks left on the branches and half of the little silver heart left , lying in the grass , so I cleaned it and put it back on the stone , as I had seen on Alison 's pictures . There was just one tree that had a little bear and a scarf from some soccer club and it looked like it was just placed there . I think maybe the council takes it down every now and then to preserve the natural look of the park . Jackie later mentioned that maybe they were afraid it could interfere with the growth of the tree itself . So this time I made something extra for the tree , thinking that would last for at least some time . It was for Robert ! Not for the counsil or gardners to take away his gifts ! We sat on the bench before Robert 's Tree . The weather was lovely so I had time to think about it . I looked at the heart in my hand . In case you can 't read it , it says : " If Love Could 've Saved You , You 'd Live Forever . " I think I saw it a while back on Facebook somewhere and I loved it . I think it fits perfectly . There were so many who loved Robert , and still do ! It took me a while to get to close up the lock , which , to the people living across from the park or driving by , would have looked like I was some kind of tree hugger taking it a bit to far , half raping the tree but luckily having safe sex because of the fence around it . ' Yes , no help needed . I 'm fine here . ' I told my slightly embarrassed husband . And when he walked up to lend a hand , it clicked and the lock was closed . Relieved about that , he immediately stepped back again . I adjusted the chain to get it in the right position and held the heart in my hands for a few seconds . Then I dropped it . Unbelievable how the heart perfectly and with the right side up landed in the grass . Just what I wanted . I thought : ' Try and remove this , you bastards ! ! Muhahaha . ' Oh , I 'm sure they will . But at least they have to put some effort into it . We had just one day in Cirencester so I dragged poor Ronald all over town . We visited the church , which was awesome . Just a handfull of people were inside and suddenly the organ played . Not by itself of course ! That would be spooky . whahaha It sounded majestic ! We ate a burger at The Crown where I send Ronald on a mission . ' You have to go to the lavatory , don 't you ? I said . ' No , not really . ' was the reply . ' Yes , you do ! And while you 're there , would you please make some pictures ? ' Ronald made " OMG , Facepalm - face " but knew he wouldn 't get to leave before he did so and headed to the lavatory . Most pics came out a blurry , cause he made the pictures in a hurry , afraid he would be seen by anyone . whahaha When we got back to the B & B he send the pics to my phone and I posted some on Facebook for the other Robert - lady - fans to see the place Robert must have visited at least a few times . A place none of us ladies ever went before . I assume . whahaha It was the lovely Jackie . And she took us to Stoney 's . She also was at the Tree planting in 2013 . We then ate at the Chinese restaurant and in 2014 I was happy to see her again at the first Hooded Man Con . I loved catching up with her and we had a lovely evening . When we wanted to go back to our B & B 's it started raining and hailing a bit . We waited till it wasn 't raining so hard anymore but when we were on our way we got another cold shower and we arrived drenched . But that was the only rain we had so I didn 't mind that much . I planned the location visits on a day we were already would have to drive as Ronald really hates the whole driving - on - the - left - side thing . But this time we just struck one curb with a tire so no damage done . we 're happy to announce that there were no near death experiences this time . So yay us ! Once again I was in for a surprise . Robert 's grave looked really nice ! Almost festive . You know , as far as a grave can look happy and festive . Someone had claimed a bit more room for Robert . Had made his ' garden ' a bit bigger . The flowers planted there were in full bloom , his stone looked nice and clean and it seemed people had been visiting a lot . There were 2 little angels , some fake flowers in a small cute flower arrangement and also around the stone , between the rocks Magdalena had put there a while ago . There were also two small candle holders placed and a glass ornament with a painted butterfly in it I hadn 't seen before . Also Magdalena 's ceramic hearts were still there . : ) The lawn mowers wouldn 't be bothered by the things now because of the slightly bigger ' garden ' , which was excellent to see . And made me think that , looking back , I could have safely place my heart here this time . Whaha Maybe next time . The rest of the graveyard looked beautiful too . It was sunny and wild flowers were growing everywhere . It seemed like spring had come and surrounded Robert with all his beauty and love . * Many of you may already know , but when Robert passed away , the family had asked to please not put pictures of his grave online . That 's why , of course , I don 't . I am happy to see that no one else didn 't either . * We stayed a while , enjoying the sun and greet some other permanent residents when we made our way to the church . I read we were aloud to go inside and curious and nosy as I am , we did so . Check in at St . Pierre 's was at 3 . 00 pm so we had plenty of time . It was pretty . But of course a whole lot smaller than St . John 's in Cirencester . Therefor I could see why they held the funeral in Cirencester . I think I made pictures of every corner of that church . We were alone all the time until the last 5 minutes or so , when 3 woman joined us . We slowly made our way out to not disturb them as they looked around and took their pictures . Photobombing them didn 't feel appropriate . whahaha There 's a time and a place for that and this wasn 't it . We walked to the car and said goodbye to Robert from afar . Next stop , Chepstow Castle ! We wanted to avoid the toll bridge and went through Gloucester . Everything was fine until we had about 3 minutes left to go according to the GPS . A diversion ! Great ! We didn 't want to go back so we hoped for a bit of luck and followed a car down a narrow land street . But a few meters in we had to stop behind a line of cars with no where to go , as the street was to narrow to turn , and behind us more cars joining the party . A few minutes later the line luckily moved and it seemed like a van had blocked the way but had now moved . We saw we made the right decision for once and it took us were we had to go . 10 minutes later we arrived at the carpark of the castle . Last time we had parked our car at the other side of the castle . By then the castle was already closed and we just saw the outside . But this time it was the middle of the day and nobody could warn them I was coming , so we got in ! To enter you had to go throught the giftshop and immediately I saw the silver arrow ! ! They also had a golden arrow . It was a pen . whaha Of course I had to buy one on my way out . Luckily it wasn 't expensive . It was really a beautiful place . I liked it better than Farleigh Hungerford Castle . Maybe it also was the location of the castle . With that big river in front . About that river , does anyone happen to know if there is a possibility of seals or something similar living there ? I asked Karen and Alison at the con . They thought it 's not possible as there is no connection to the sea . But we saw ( and heard ) a brown animal swimming and breathing ! Diving under and getting up again on his way . It was kinda fast as well . Does Chepstow have it 's only Nessy ? whahah I forgot to ask the locals . If you happen to know what it was , please comment underneath the report ! ! ! I made poor Ronald walk up and down the castle several times , looking for Gizzy 's window ! There was one room ( The Earls Room ) that was being renovated and it had a iron fence in front of the entrance with a sign that said you weren 't allowed to enter and that is was dangerous . Oh man ! I feared what was coming . Of course that must be the place were the window was . With my luck . I did buy the book and map from our very own Duncan from The Trail Of Robin Of Sherwood website a while back . But that was sitting at a lovely cozy place in my bedroom in the Netherlands ! Yes , my planning and organising this year was outstanding ! We found a few windows who were similair but I knew they weren 't THE window . I told my husband that I would find it , and if it was the last thing I would do . Ronald said that indeed it would be the last thing I would do , cause HE would be sitting nice and warm in our hotelroom . I texted Lutine , cause I remembered she went to the castle last time but she couldn 't remember where it was either . Ronald had access to the internet on his phone but because it 's very expensive we had to be quick . I found a picture of the right window at Duncan 's website but didn 't see a describsion of were the exact location was . I knew he and his wife made some location video 's as well but I had to work quick so looking at those wasn 't an option . They say it 's always in the last place you look . In this case , it was absolutely right . Right accross the giftshop there was the sign " cellar " and although we didn 't know for sure we 'd been there and in my head it seemed like the last place for the window , we went down the stairs . And there it was ! No refference pic necessary here . I saw right away this was it ! ! ! I was so happy I hugged and kissed the windowsill , trying to keep my enthusiasme to myself while more people came in . I wanted to make a hundred pictures from all angles but those darn people wouldn 't leave ! If I hadn 't known any better , I 'd think they were relatives of Tony ! ( If you 're not on Facebook , Tony , his lovely wife Della , and Ronald and me met each other last con and have been ' arch enemies ' eversince . whahahaha Pestering each other a lot on Facebook . To the entertainment of many others as well . Maybe some are annoyed by us too , but they have never told us . ) But I had patients although it was kinda cold , wasn 't really in a rush to leave ( unlike others who shall remain nameless . . Ronald ! ) and I got my 100 pictures . Before we had set foot in the building , I got my first hug from Sally , who just walked outside . I was so happy to see her . When we checked in I heard : " Gisburne ! " right behind me and there stood Stephanie . Whahah They of course told me immediately that Tony was already there and that he was sitting in the bar . He was sitting with his back to me when I came in . From a short distance I yelled : ' Tony ! ' He turned around and gave me a " OMG No " look . I tried to look angry . Only my face wouldn 't really work with me because I was really happy to see the group that was sitting there . Some I had met before . Some I knew only from Facebook til now . Like Katharyn , Amanda and Sian , wonderful ladies . Later Anne joined us . She 's so funny ! I had seen her a few times posting in groups but we weren 't fb friends and I didn 't know her . Sally opened her bag and gave us all a beautiful Herne necklace . She had made a 150 ! For all people at the con . Until she 'd run out . Later on I even saw Mark Ryan and Jason Connery wearing one . And most of the fans during the weekend . Everyone belonged to Sally now ! Muhahaha . Last con we only spend the Saturday night in the hotel but that wasn 't very convenient to say the least . We slept a in a B & B 2 minutes away from St . Pierre 's but I hadn 't put on my costume Saturday morning and we couldn 't get our stuff out until check in time so changing was difficult . Also there wasn 't any time to do so during the busy program . We left Sunday evening . Again , very unconvient . Check out was at 11 . 00 am so we had to put all our stuff in the car , spend the day at the con and try to change in the ladiesroom . Then we made our way to Cirencester at about 5 . 30 pm . But we hadn 't eaten right all day , were tired from the busy weekend and had to drive for an hour or two . It wasn 't a success . So although it was a bloody expensive , yet beautiful place to stay , we chose to book 3 nights this time to avoid the hassle . When it was my turn I greeted Barnaby and his lovely wife , Kim . We got the booklet and programme for the weekend and you could already buy tokens for photo 's and autographs but I told them I hadn 't done my homework yet so I didn 't know how many tokens I would need . I told them of course I needed a token for Nickolas Grace ! Than came the surpise . Brr , sheriff doesn 't like surpises . I saw his face change . I brought up Nickolas Grace so he had to tell me at that point . There was a big chance that mr . Grace couldn 't make it . His mother was ill and they wouldn 't know for sure til Saturday morning if he would come . My stomach dropped . I knew right than he wouldn 't be there . I felt disappointed but that feeling was quickly replaced by sadness . For Nickolas Grace . And I really hoped his mother would be fine soon . After all , that 's most important . I would have made the same decision . On Saturday morning we woke up slowly . We had some time before breakfast and were looking online to see if people had behaved after we left the night before . We both looked at each other when we heard something dripping . After a second we realised that was not normal and we shot out of bed and ran to the hallway of our room . There was coming water from one of ceiling lights ! We looked for something to catch the water in but could only find a coffee cup . We had the strong suspicion the hotel hadn 't upgraded our room with an extra lighted shower and so I ran to the phone and called reception . They send someone over right away . There was one room above us but we had no idea which door led to that room , otherwise we would have warned the hotel guests about the leak . So I was happy when they did . While we went to breakfast , they fixed the problem . At least that 's what I think . I never heard back from them but it stopped leaking for the rest of the weekend and no one was electrocuded . You know what ? I blame Tony ! whaha I 'm sure he 's the one flooding our room ! ! No matter if he was in an other building or not ! whahaha I didn 't want to make the mistake I made 2 years ago , being the only one in full armour at breakfast . Also , I was forbidden to do so by Ronald . So I went as myself and waved fierce and enthusiastic at a man and a woman who I thought to be Duncan and his wife . After that is was finally time to slip into my costume . I was a bit nervous what they would think of it . I had searched so long for the right color and for costume decoration and didn 't find anything that was an exact match to the original . But 3 weeks before the con I knew I had to get over my OCD - self and got the band closest to what I had in mind . They had told me Friday that everyone was curious to see the costume as I was the ' talk of the town . ' Well , at least the of the ' villagers ' that knew me . No pressure here , people ! whaha All of my doubts were swept away when we walked back from our room to the convention room . People were laughing and yelling that I looked brilliant . The moustache had a lot of fans . And so began a weekend with lots of picture taking and laughs . It was really funny to see Barnaby almost running into the wall when he came around the corner and saw me in costume . Not really of course , he 's a good actor . whaha I demanded taxes a few times but that darn Robin Hood had everyone rebel ! Nobody took me seriously ! During the opening ceremony I was anxious to hear whether or not Nickolas Grace would be there , I had kept hope . Unfortunately the announcement was negative . He wouldn 't attend . But there were more people , cast , fans , Bowlore . It would be fun ! And now that I knew for sure I just sat back and tried to relax a bit . When standing in the hall way to buy some tokens , Kirsty came up to me ! I had no idea she was coming and I was so happy she said hello ! Another highlight of the trip . Later on she even gave me 2 tokens she had left over . Sooo nice of her ! If I would like to have them . I told her yes , please ! Cause I wanted to get autographs for a mutual friend of ours from the AddiesFaction Mailing List . After that it was time for the first photo studio . Our very own Abbott Hugo , Phillip Jackson and Prince John , Phil Davis were first up . Nickolas Grace was supposed to be in the picture too . As later on alone , but Peter would take his spot . People would comment I should fill in as I was already the sheriff . I walked up to Phillip and Phil . As I did they joked : ' I don 't think this is really a man . ' Which I thought was really funny . They both were so nice . They asked where I was from and I told them and that there were more Dutch people walking around today . A Dutch invasion I called it . I mentioned Lutine cause I was sure they would have met her already . I told them what a great girl she is and that everyone loves her . Both , but especially Phil Davis said he reeaally liked her too ! whaha Aaaaaaw ! ! Forget Raymond ! ! ! Everybody Loves Lutine ! ! Whhahaha And rightfully so ! Of course I had to have a pic with Paul 's father in law ! My brother . As he was dressed as Abbott Hugo at which he had done an awesome job ! Paul 's wife was our evil Nun in the red dress . They all looked stunning . It was time for the autograph lines . I had worked out what autographs and photo 's I wanted to get because I was kinda on a budget . Now that I am home I have to give everything I got to try and sell goods in my store or we 'll be living in a box next month . But , box or not , at least we 'll have fond memories ! Whaha I went to Jeremy Bulloch . He was very funny and of course , a fan of the moustache . Than I moved over to the queue for James Coombes . The man who captured our poor Gizzy in The Time of the Wolfs . He is a very good looking man , I must say . I heard a lot of girls going wild for Marcus Gilbert as well , although a friend of mine was a little turned of when he started dancing at the disco after banquet . Whahah So you see , not even stars are good at everything . Because I had to be sparingly with my tokens , groupphoto 's were an excellent way to get a picture with most of the cast . So there was no question whether I would join the queue for the picture with Mark , Peter and Clive , who said I looked great and thanked me a few times for making the effort . Meaning making and wearing my costume . They asked me next to whom I wanted to stand . Difficult to chose of course . But I decided to jump in the first gap that came along next and that happened to be between Peter and Mark . I think that was a good spot . As Peter and I were about the same hight . Later on I got an autograph from Peter and Clive . Clive has this way about him , just that calm and happy manor of presenting himself . He saw me from a short distance coming up and said : ' I think your moustache moves , everytime I see you it 's in a different place ! ' Which I thought was hilarious . When Peter asked me for whom he could sign a photo , I told him to just make it out to the Sheriff of Nottingham . Or Jolanda . He laughed and chose the last option . Now there was time to catch up with other fans . It was so much fun and we just got started . Everything was even better organised than last time . And I had more time to talk to people and eat something because with some guests I had my picture taken last time or gotten an autograph , so there was no need to stand in queues all day . We even went back to our room when there was a gap in the program . Or when there was not and we were just hot and tired . whahah I did miss a few guest panels . This time I wasn 't as starstruck as last time . So I loved just being relaxed , talk to people , having fun and reacting reasonalably normal to the guests this time . And actually know who I was talking to and who was at the con because it wasn 't all new anymore and not as overwhelming . I was really proud of myself , whahah I dove in queue for Jason Connery . I had promissed a dear Robert Addie friend of mine some autographs after the 2014 convention and I intended to keep my promise . I hadn 't brought it up since than cause then maybe she would think I forgot and it would be a surprise . But when I got it I made a picture of it and showed her on Facebook before others , who know both of us , would spoil my surprise . Alison stood before me in line . Jason said to her : ' Hello , I remember you . ' My husband was standing next to me and I whispered to him : ' Oh man , I hope he doesn 't remember me . ' whahaha With all the stupid comments I made last time . But I wasn 't counting on that anyway . I 'm just one of many , many fans and I just met him for 2 second and over 2 years ago . So I told him what I just said to my husband . He replied that he was good in remembering faces . Haha He complimented me with my costume and signed a beautiful picture for Renata . As he didn 't kill or tackled me when I walked off , I think he forgave me . We sat in the sun for a while , talking with people , making pictures and laughing and while people started to feel hungry and went off to get something to eat , I thought it was the perfect time to go see Bowlore , who were being busy all day at the same spot as last time . They had build up their tents and equipment and even slept in the tents at night ! I heard that later from some friends . They must have been so cold cause the nights weren 't exactly nice and summery . When we got there we saw that there were no people to watch them . I think at that time there were more photo 's scheduled in the studio so that must have been were the party was going on . whaha In the meantime I had my own party because I had some time to talk to the Bowlore crew . They were so very nice . I saw on the huge list in the grass , a lot of people had tried their luck in the archery contest which you could enter at every point that day . * Spoiler Alert * Our friend Jim won ! The silver arrow is his ! ! Muhahaha Bowlore Sheriff came towards us . I was so happy ! If you have read the 2014 report ( or facebook ) you know I 'm a fan and this time I got to tell him that . He was so nice and humble and I finally got the courage to ask him for a picture ! Yay ! ! He had bruised his ribs the Monday before so he had to be careful during the shows . We said we would be back for the 17 . 00 pm show and the 9 . 30 am show Sunday morning . They thought nobody was going to come then cause who watches a show at 9 . 30 in the morning . I told him we would definitely be there for support . We shortly went up to our room . I was really happy we could do that every now and than . It gave me more energy throughout the whole weekend . It also gave me an opportunity to make some quick posts on Facebook cause I know some fans were waiting for con pictures . I have to be honest . With certain guests I have my doubts about how ' real ' they are . They are really friendly to you when you talk to them during a signing session of pictures . Or even when you go up to them during the convention . But it 's the times in between , when you see them walking around with a look on their face which makes you wonder if they really like to be there sometimes , not looking at you at all . And what they are really thinking . After all , it is part of their work and of course they probably will have more fun seeing their old collueges than us peassants and I knows these weekends are verrry busy for them . But maybe it 's just me ! Having said that miss Claire Toeman is without any doubt NOT one of those people ! She just has that bubbly personality and doesn 't have that whole " I am a star ! Bow for me ! " feeling around her . whahah Which makes her that more of a star in my book . Everytime I saw her she just had that spark and looked like she really enjoyed herself . When I came up for her autograph she laughed loudly when she saw the costume and she said : ' I love the moustache ! Can I make a picture of you ? ' whahahaha She asked me which picture of her she would like me to sign and to whom it was . She wanted to write something personal and asked me : ' Shall I write that I love your moustache ? Would she like that ? ' I found that very funny and I was sure she would like that and so she wrote : " Dear Renata , I love Jolanda 's moustache . Lots of love , Claire Toeman . " To not catch the flu ourselfs we had to cut the Bowlore show short . It started to rain and a group of people , including us , went back to the hotel while Bowlore Sheriff shouted : ' Cowards ! ' Whahah I would have stayed if I wasn 't in my costume at the time . But I was so afraid my Sheriff necklace , made out of cardboard , glue , paint and a whole lot of Mod Podge was not going to survive the rain . Of course when we were almost back at the venue , the rain almost completely had stopped . When it was time for the evening banquet we walked to the main entrance of the hotel and saw a lot of people getting ready for the groupphoto for Jason 's fanpage . I think a lot more people were dressed up compared to two years prior . I loved it ! Before that picture was taken , Sheriff got all the ladies . I could do this at least every week cause I never heard and read so many " Jolanda , I love you ! " 's . Whahaha We went inside and it 's always a surprise to where we would end up , in terms of the seating arrangements . I was so happy to see Hayleigh and her lovely daughter . She invited us to come sit with them and we had an awesome time ! It was so cool to get to know them in person . The food was good . There was lots of choice . My favorite was the pork stew but of course I only got a little bit of that . I wasn 't fond of the pies . I had never had it with a slight sauer touch by adding pearl onions , which they did . But that 's just personal taste . Or . . lack of it . When I walked to the buffet I saw that the maintable for the guests was at the right side of the hall . At the 2014 con they had the table at the front of the hall on a platform but this time they had set up the dancefloor and all the sound and dj stuff there . I had been a bit nervous meeting her again before the con . Because of my 2014 Con report in which I first forgot to mention her at all , then making it worse by calling her sister , her daughter . But with my marvellous moustache maybe she didn 't recognise me . Or remember me at all , which seems more likely . Jeremy Bulloch said something to me about my moustache while walking by with his plate but I couldn 't understand what he said , which made him think that I didn 't have a good reply to his joke and he said : ' Got you there ! ' I smiled and was happy with that . After banquet it was getting dark and Bowlore invited us all to join them for the short show outside with the burning swords . I love that ! ! It looks so spectaculair . ( C ) Hooded Man EventsI stood front row next to Lutine who told me to stand next to her on the small wall and that Ronald wouldn 't care to see it anyway . Which was kinda true . He just wanted to be outside at that point to have a smoke . Bowlore Robin again had a lot of admirers this con . At least 3 girls I spoken to that weekend fell in love . After the show we went inside and sat down again as they started the disco . We watched a while as people started to dance . But I , the Sheriff , left the dancing to the simple folk . Joking ! ! I can 't dance at all ! ! I slept better than the night before . I had different earplugs than I normally have , to shield me from the ' sweet sounds ' of Ronald chopping down Sherwood forest , which basically were rubbish ! I searched for an alternative and found it in slightly wet toiletpaper . It dries overnight and seals of the ears perfectly . Just make sure you don 't shove it in to deep so you 'll be able to get it out again . whaha I don 't know if it was a coincidents or if it was because of the toiletpaper , but Monday and Tuesday at home it felt like I lost a little bit of my hearing . It wasn 't so bad though . I didn 't have to listen to people wining . I figured that as the ear is a selfcleaning organ , it would push out the piles of earwax I pushed in over the weekend in time . ( EEWW ! Gross ! ! ) whahaAnd so it did cause I think I have my full hearing back . At breakfast were seated at a table next to the table of 2 lovely German girls . We talked a bit and then we went to the front and saw Jason Connery . He was standing by the table to get something to eat and I just said goodmorning . He greeted me back and asked how I was doing . I said : ' Fine , thank you . ' And left the poor man in peace . Seeing me in the morning must be tough . Especially if he had to deal with Tony later on as well . Ronald was still toasting his bread and told me I didn 't have to wait on him and that I could return to the table . I did but when I came back I couldn 't find it . I saw the girls sitting right there but all of a sudden our table looked like people had been sitting there . The coffee cups were used and the girls saw from the look at my face that I was confused . They pointed OUR table out which was on the other side of them ! Oh my ! I thought I went to bed early enough . Apparently not . Or I left my brain at the toaster . whahahaha I laughed and told Ronald when he came back . He just pulled his ' Facepalm ' face . And didn 't say much more than : ' Oh . my . God ! ' A very lovely lady came up and I recognised her as Ruth . I just talked to her on Facebook on Saturday . She had complimented my costume and I told her to just come up to me if she wanted to chat a bit because I didn 't recognise everyone from their Facebook pictures and if I walked passed them without saying anything , it wasn 't because I didn 't want too . It 's just that I 'm not really a star in remembering the faces from Facebook . And with the whole greeting a Duncan - wannabe at Saturday breakfast I had become a bit more careful . Whaha I also had earlier posted a similair post in my Robert Addie group and I was pleased when indeed more people came up to me that Sunday , that had read that post . It was sooo lovely to meet everyone . Some new people who I hadn 't spoken to before , some people I had only spoken on Facebook and some ' old ' friends . Bowlore was of course great again . Eventhough it was still early . A very nice start of the day . Next on the program was the picture with the lovely Judi Trott but she was coming a bit later due to traffic . I immediatelly thought of our diversion . Maybe she took the same route we did . When we heared Judi had arrived we walked to the photostudio . There was queue but it all went pretty fast . Before I knew it I looked into the smiling face of Lady Judi and she said I looked beautiful . I said she did too ! She said : ' Come here . ' while lifting her arm to put it around me and we took a nice pic together . Than I had to get out of the way because half of the fandom was waiting for a picture too . When I walked along another queue I thought I heard my name . A few moments later I heard it again and saw Davy ! ! He makes these aswesome painting and I was lucky to win one a while back in the Outlaws facebook group . I went up to him and gave him a hug . Than he said he had something for me . He pulled a very beautiful painting out of his bag ! It was of Guy and Robin fighting . He said that unfortunately for me , in the end , Robin would win . But I highly doubt that . Thank you again for this beautiful painting , Davy ! ! I haven 't come around to put them up , but I have an awesome light place in mind in our livingroom ! When they let us hear the trailer for the first time I saw a bit of tension on the faces but it was so great to hear all these familiar voices even if it was for a minute . It send a tingle down my spine . Later on I found out I wasn 't the only one who felt like that . Some got really emotional even . Isn 't it great this show still can do that . Even after all these years ? Pure magic ! I of course listened to see if I could hear the new Gisburne . I thought I heard one sentence . Later speaking to Tony about it who had the same sentence in mind but it was to short to really say something useful about it . I guess we have no choice but to wait til the official release . But I must say , I 'm looking more forward to it , now I 've heard the short preview , than I did before . Esta Charkham was ready for the signing and of course I had to get her autograph this time ! As soon as she saw me coming she said : ' You 're still in the costume . Did you ever take that off last night ? ' Whahah I assured her I did . She was so very nice ! I think a woman like her will never grow old . She also has that life spark ! Oh and a beautiful jacket ! ! She had on a red jacket I just loved ! Luckily there were pictures made ! There was one mission left for me to complete that Sunday . Getting the autograph from Michael Praed for my friend . The queue was insane ! ! I walked from the Judi queue straight in the Michael Pread line . They had a few power outages throughout the day , which wasn 't very handy for the people doing the photo 's and lighting and the printing of the photo 's . But it wasn 't the hotel , so I heard . Very good . I feared to be electrocuted after all , because of the leakage in the lamp in our room earlier . I encountered Alison while I was standing there waiting . I had paniced a bit because Ronald was outside with the token I had to use now . He had no idea I was standing in a new queue . I didn 't expect to be so either at that point . I asked Alison if she would do me a favour and get the token from Ronald . She came back with the token and I was so happy . I hugged her . She was my saving angel ! ! She went on to complete her own mission and a while later Ronald came to find me when I was still waiting in the hall . I smiled and showed him the token . He pulled a funny face before grabbing in the bag and pulling out our token . Than we both looked surprised and funny . ' Didn 't Alison asked you for the token ? ' ' Ehrm . . No . ' I think I must have been so anxious finding a way to get the token without losing my place in line that I must have talked so fast and unclear that Alison must have thought she wanted me to buy a token ! She didn 't even asked for her money back when she gave it to me ! She must have thought I was spoiled or something when I thanked her . Whahahaa It was nice to stand in queue behind a family so Michael Praed didn 't see me until the last moment when it was my turn to get a picture signed . He laughed and said I look brilliant . He asked me if Nick had already seen me because he knew Nick was scheduled to be there for the Saturday . I told him no and explained the story . He thanked me for telling him . I hope he made a call to Nickolas Grace to ask how all is going now . I 'm sure he did . When he asked what name he should use I told him it was for my friend and he said : ' That 's so nice of you . ' I said : ' Yes , way to nice for the Sheriff . ' He laughed and agreed and gave me the beautiful signed picture of Robin standing in the armour he shamelessly stole from Guy . I thought that was the perfect pic for a Robert and Michael fan . I saw Alison in another queue and explain what had happened and could pay the angel back . After that we took a little time out in our room again and soon it was time for the auction and closing ceremony already ! Oh my , the weekend went by soooo fast ! I think they must have been early starting it . Or maybe I underestimated how much time it took everytime we went to our room and back . The walk itself was about 5 minutes but whenever I was seen by people they 'd often stopped and talked to me or ask for a picture , which I absolutely loved ! But it did take some time . When we walked towards the hall we saw that everyone was already seated and there was already stuff going on on stage . Most of the cast was standing outside , waiting for their sign and although the doors were open in the beginning , I didn 't want to go inside and disturb anything . In my costume there wasn 't really a way to slip in unnoticed and I didn 't see a place to sit either cause it was packed in there . I was a bit mad at myself that we were about to miss everything but what could be done ? Maybe there would be small pause , a moment we could use to go in and otherwise , oh well , it wasn 't like they were going to auction off something Robert related , were they ? They hadn 't in 2014 . I didn 't have to wait long for company . Susie sat next to me and Daniela and her friend also joined . I told Daniela that it would be nice to get some pics with Peter , who was standing right before us . But that I was a bit scared to ask . ' I can do it ! ' she said while already getting up and before I know it I was standing next to Peter with sweet Daniela and my husband taking pictures . I didn 't think about it to long , so I wouldn 't chicken out and got up . I had to be quick anyway cause they were about to get on stage . He looked rather shy when I told him but he did tell me to thank everyone for that . I was chatting away with the girls and barely noticed the con coming to an end and the fans coming out of the hall . An almost angry Lutine stormed towards us and said like the annoyed Sheriff would to Gisburne in Dutch : ' Where were you ? ? ? ? ! They had things of Robert in auction ! And it didn 't even go for much ! ! ' Oh man ! I missed that ? ? ' What was being auctioned off ? ' , I asked and she said some small pictures and an autographed something . If I had known that before , I would have elbowed my way in ! I was disappointed but what could I do but shrug , get over myself and hope the people who got it would at least post a picture on facebook so I could see . I waved to Alison and saw Sally was busy talking to a group . I walked up to Karen who was still seated to ask about the auction and of course the Robert Addie items . She told me about it and said that a lot of things were going for a lot , like the banners . Which was excellent for the charity so that was good . ' Alison got some things too . ' she said while pointing at her . I looked over and saw her with some people in a small group . When she saw I looked her way she gestured that I should come over , with a big smile on her face . I almost ran over cause I thought she wanted to tell me something funny . I asked her : ' You got some things too ? ' She suddenly gave me a big hug and said : ' I also got the sign with Robert 's autograph . ' It was only than that I realised she was standing in line to get the auction purchases from Kim , Barnaby 's lovely wife . Yes , I never said I was the ' Brightest spark in the fire . ' I said : ' That 's so cool ! ' I was very happy Alison got it ! Then it would go to a real fan and I could even look at it in a minute ! She still was holding me and said : ' I got it for you ! ' I was shocked . I didn 't know what to say . I stumbled : ' Are you sure ? It 's yours . ' I couldn 't say much more than : ' Thank you so much . ' A hundred times . I think it didn 't really sink in what just happened . We stood there , arm in arm til it was Alison 's turn to pick up her purchases . I faught against my tears and I thought I did really good . She came back and gave me sign , then went back to get her other things and pay Kim . I just stood there . With the sign in both of my hands . I told my husband and Karen , and a few others that were standing close and were looking , that Alison had gotten it for me . Than she returned and put her arm around me . I thanked her again . There were more hugs and she said that she was sure Robert would want me to have it . At that point I lost the battle against my tears and I started crying . Karen cracked also and Alison too . It was a beautiful moment . One of the best in my whole life . It completely caught me off guard . People who walked by us of course were wondering why the Sheriff was crying all of a sudden . Kim too , as she was making her way out . I told them of course what an extraordinary thing Alison had done for me , that they were happy - tears and my moustache would absorb them , and all of them went : ' Aaaaaaw . ' And that it was so nice of her to do . I tried to get myself together while I had a clear moment and jumped at the chance to tell Sally about the necklace when we went to the exit . She said that everyone would meet up in the bar after we got out of our costumes and she would take it than . Of course that was fine with me . When Ronald and me walked to our room together I was still staring at the sign , thinking about what just happened and trying to grasp it . Tears were trying to bubble up again , but this time I won ! Although it was close . In our room I sat on the bed for a while with the sign . I never knew Robert had such a pretty handwriting . I didn 't want to let it go . But I had to . I got out of my costume , took a quick shower and got dressed in my ' normal ' clothes . When we were ready I looked around for a safe place to keep the sign . Ronald looked at me and asked what I was doing now . ' I must find a safe place for the sign . I need a security system ! ' His answer was : ' Yes , cause eeeevery robber wants that . ' I said that he didn 't know what he was talking about . That he didn 't know the high value of this gem ! And that you just never know . I put it in between my papers in a hard plastic map on my nightstand . Of course I checked to see if it was still there when we came back . It was . When we walked into the bar , there was already a group of us fans sitting there . We stole some chairs from the posh golfers and sat down . Amanda , Stephanie , Sian , Helen , Katharyn , Lutine , Mark Ryan , Sally , Annette and Jim looked like they had a blast already . It was quit a large group . I loved that last night cause we got to say goodbye properly in case we wouldn 't see each other at breakfast the next morning . Misha , Alison , Karen and Paul joined too and unfortunately my arch enemy , Tony too ! Rude as he is , he turned his back on me immediately . It was so much fun but we didn 't go to sleep to late . Monday would be a whole day of traveling again and Ronald had to drive on the left side of the road one last time . So to keep the risk of wrecking the rental car on the last trip as low as possible we thought it best to do the smart thing and get some sleep . The next morning we were sad to leave , yet happy to go home and see our animals again . And sleep in our own bed . Nothing as nice as sleeping in your own cave . When we got our bread we walked passed Jeremy Bulloch who was about to sit down at his table and he again said something . This time the enviroment wasn 't as loud as at banquet and I thought he was talking to me in German . So I asked : Ah , German ? ' No , Russian . ' ' Oh , you speak Russian ? ! ' ' Just a little bit . ' ' Well , that 's more than I do . ' He smiled and sat down . So I guess he 'd spoken to me in Russian at the banquet too or said something about Russians , which would make sense . I can see how my big moustache and ( fake ) fur hat could have reminded him of a Russian Cossack . To soon it was time for goodbyes again . This time Karen cried . We got to say goodbye to Paul and even another Paul . I looked around to see if there were more people we knew when I saw Hayleigh and her daughter sitting at a table . Of course I had to say goodbye to these cute girls and we wished each other a safe journey home . In the lobby we saw Jan and Ralph who were just about to leave too . We hugged goodbye and it was a nice thing their taxi was about to come so we could wave them goodbye . Jackie was outside as well and Alison and Karen had to go our way too , to get to their room so Jan and Ralph had a proper farewell commity . We went up to our room and realised we had to hurry up a bit . We were very early for breakfast but because several people came up to me when we walked by and greeted them , we did run a bit behind schedule . * Sight * * I 'll miss all of the positive attention I got from all these lovely friends ! I 'm a lot less populair here . whahaha We got our suitcases and put them in the car before we checked out . The lady at the reception was the same lady who checked us in . She said : ' I remember you from check in , because you were so cheery . You know it could ! There are days in live when the last thing you need is an overly happy person blabbering away . You want everyone to be misserable in that second , just like you ! I can 't tell you how many times in my life when I felt like that , I wished for a huge tourbus to push them in front of . whahahaha This time Ronald and I were sitting next to each other in the plain . I had remembered to check in early in the morning on my phone . But the longer we sat next each other , the more doubts arose if that was a good plan to begin with . He did offer me his hand to hold when the plane took off but that huge smug look on his face whenever I pinched his hand when startled and the ' funny ' remarks he made like : ' What 's the matter ? ' And ' Please don 't rip of the airplane table , honey ' , made me regret that decision at times . At the airport we had to take a short bus ride from the airplane to the gate and I saw the cutest thing ever . A woman with her bear . When I later on showed this picture at home everyone agreed that indeed that was something I would do . Tsss , bunch of knowitalls . Gizzy and Baby greeted us all at the window and soon it seemed like we 'd never been away . Part of me was very sad that the week was over and real life would set in again . But I had made so many fond memories , lots of friends and pictures to proof it ! You 'll be happy to know that no English toilets were harmed this time . Truly a week never to forget ! I 'd like to thank Barnaby , Kim and the rest of the crew who made this weekend so very brilliant ! ! I heard several people say it was even better than the first . And I couldn 't agree more . Also a huge thank you to all fans , new friends I got to meet , Bowlore and ROS guests and to the hotel staff as well . Who were so nice and helpful all weekend . They had their work cut out for them . Of course a big fat special THANK YOU to Alison ! ! ! Who gave me not only the sign , but one of the best moments of my life ! ! I 'll be forever grateful ! ! X Tracey ( 2 : 07 , 14 jun 2016 ) Your reports are like I was there myself ! I love them ! Thank you Jolanda , what a great read : ) anne - marie ( 14 : 43 , 8 jun 2016 ) Thanks for this great report . Glad you had a great time . . . Magdalena ( 22 : 36 , 1 jun 2016 ) Thanks a lot , I was really moved to read it ! Miss Josh Emmett ( 23 : 42 , 31 mei 2016 ) This was fantastic ! Almost felt like I was there ! So glad you had such a wonderful time ! |
So much weight is on my shoulders that it is crippling . I am not perfect , I don 't have good housekeeping skills . I don 't know why . I try , It seems like it should be so easy . Pick things up and put them away . Throw away the trash . Wash the dishes , put them away , clean the sinks and tub , toilet too . Wash the floors , vacuum , . . . Then it slips away and I fall behind . Then I get overwhelmed and shut down . He used to back me up . When did it stop ? I can almost pinpoint it to the day . When our son was diagnosed with asperger 's . Was it the diagnosis ? Was it the therapy that I took too and discussed problems that before had been unspoken . MAybe it was his refusal to participate in the therapy . That is when the disaster of our last house began . He stayed in the living room , I was in the bedroom . We stopped being functional and the house dissolved into a disaster . I dropped the ball , I stopped functioning and I shut down . We moved , and our secret was discovered . The house was a mess and so were we . New house , many things have changed . I have been working so hard to not let the clutter take over again . But the issues are still there . I need to start therapy again . I stopped when we lost health insurance and just never started it back up . I didn 't want to move . I felt betrayed by his other when things we discussed didn 't happen the way they were supposed to . Since then I have been living under the threat of eviction on an almost daily basis . Not by her but by my spouse . When the a mess happens he yells and screams and announces to all of us that we will get kicked out if the mess isn 't cleaned up . FOr a while we all worked together to keep it pretty clean . We hosted a Thanksgiving Dinner and had two birthday parties in our house . Oh , we would fight when we cleaned , but we cleaned . Then I was done going to graduate school . I wasn 't a student anymore so he decided that since I was home all the time and he was working that he didn 't need to clean anymore . He does the laundry ( I have fallen into more than one washing machine and broke my ankle doing the laundry . I try not to do it anymore ) and we both cook . though if you ask him he will say he does most of the cooking . When our son was born and we decided that I would stay home with the kids we both cleaned the house . When our daughter was born I still stayed home and still we both did the house work . It was never super clean , but we managed . In December he decided that he wasn 't going to clean anymore . I had to it all and just to make it even better he would point out when I didn 't do it and inform our landlord that the house was messy so we could be forced to move . Nothing I do is good enough . He makes as much of a mess that the kids do . I will pick up after the kids , I will help them clean their rooms , but I will not pick up after a grown man . He put his suitcase on the dining room table and left it there . Then gets mad at me because it is there . When I manage to get a night out shopping and I come home almost two hours after bedtime to find my son in his underwear playing hockey in the kitchen with canned goods , I get upset . Then I see my daughter in stockings sitting on the couch happily watching the Disney Channel and I get mad . When he tells me that he told them to go to bed and they didn 't listen I am furious . The floor of the living room is covered with blankets and toys . It was nowhere near this messy when I left . Oh by the way he is going out and I have to deal with this all , including children that need to be put to bed . So I shut down , we fight and I start to look for another place to live . Do I start the gardens ? Do I dare try to keep the house the way our " landlord " wants it if there is no backup . I feel so alone , so burdened . If she doesn 't like the way I keep house she has said that we will get kicked out . How can I keep the house clean if the three other people in the house are set on keeping it messy ? Two are children who I can 't even blame , we set the example . The example is chaos , so it is chaos . We don 't ever make up after a fight . He hardly ever apologizes because he never thinks he is wrong . But if I point hat out he denies it . It can 't all be my fault . I am not perfect . But I am so much better at keepinShe inspect the house . She goes through every room and so far has passed us . Then this week happened . He was mad that I didn 't clean on MOnday so he called her and told her . Then gets upset with me again when I flipped out because he did this . So I am on her radar this week . Yesterday she comes over unannounced and he let her in the house . It is her house , she is the landlord but she is also his mother . This was a mother visit , not a landlord visit . I didn 't clean as much as I usually do during the week . I was annoyed this week and let things go . I had the weekend to clean before the exterminators came on Tuesday . ( Big black ants think they can live here with us in the wall of my daughter 's room , they are uninvited so the exterminator was called . ) I had the plan in my head . I have asked for a 24 hour notice to be given before any of her inspections . If she is playing landlord I am playing tenant . So far that has been respected and all inspections have been passed . She points out this and that that could be better but we pass . It has been almost a year like this . Talk about pressure ! The Royal Wedding was Friday morning . My daughter wanted to watch it . It was in the very early part of the morning and I caved . I woke her up , we snuggled in bed and watched the festivities . This was a real life princess and it was a real fairy tale . When the kids went to school I went back to bed . I was tired and had no real plans for the day . I was prepared to give the house a good cleaning once the kids when to sleep . So I went to sleep . She came over , he let her in and she flipped out . Yes the house was not clean , the dishes were done though . The table was cluttered ( remember that suit case , yes it was still there ) and things needed to be put away . I was protesting his lack of assistance with the kids and cleaning . He was not doing anything to make cleaning the house easier . I am making no excuses , it was what it was . He let her in the house and though I had no idea she was here and did not hear her say it she decided to kick us out . One bad inspection and out we are . Of course when she leaves he comes upstairs and gloats . He announces to our children that Mommy didn 't clean the house so Grandma is kicking us out . The reaction was chaos . Our son , who has asperger 's freaks out and our daughter starts to cry . I am being screamed at by my husband and of course It 's all my fault . He works so he shouldn 't have to clean . Then he says she will be back the next day to inspect the house . Do we have another chance , do I even want another chance . Honestly when he said we had to move I was relieved . The pressure was gone , I didn 't have to live up to her standards anymore . RELIEF ! ! ! ! Somehow I got him to agree to help me clean last night . There is one room left , my bedroom . When my daughter wakes up I will get that clean . He worked on the basement . He didn 't want to do it , but did it anyway . After all he told me more than once not to clean it . His words were " It 's a lost cause " . Since he gets to be the one who makes the decision that I have to clean I figure if he tells me not to then I don 't have to . He was not pleasant and gave me the silent treatment , that too was a relief . He called me fat and lazy . He was his usual self . So he is on the couch that he has taken over for the last month or so . I am upstairs in the bedroom . My sanctuary . I am looking for a place I can move too , I need to get away from him , and his family . Still I wonder what do I do about the garden ? Do I set it up ? I was separated from my Trillium when I was forced to move a year ago . I don 't want to be separated from my vegetables . I might finally be growing a purple pepper . I thought I had an answer today . I thought I had a way out . I found a person who was looking for a family to help . They were offering a rent free place to live for a family in need . I contacted them and it looked like it was going to happen . I was so relieved . I could get out with the kids and not worry about how I could make it work . I could get away from him and start over . It was like a huge weight was lifted off me . Then she found out I was in an abusive relationship and she withdrew her offer . She was sure I was going to use her help and then run back to him . I said I wasn 't going to refuse him contact with the kids so she assumed I would go back to him . Then he comes home and yells at me because the house is a mess . True I didn 't clean today . So what ! HSo I walked away . I went upstairs and I crawled back in bed and cried . It is all I seem to do lately . He called his mother and tattled on me . He tried to get her to kick me out of the house . I wonder what else will happen today to make it more miserable ? I can 't take much more . This weekend has been rough . He is mad at me again for things I have done long ago . He woke me up this morning so he could go to bed . That would have been okay and not bad at all except he had to do it with attitude , screaming , hitting the door and then when he got his way and I was up he stormed out of the house with the car that I needed today . He doesn 't know how to make up . honestly if I think about it , and I do , I can 't think of any time when we made up after a fight . He doesn 't believe he is wrong so he won 't say " I 'm sorry " . It is just so exhausting and emotionally draining for me . If I point out how I feel . If I try to get him to see that he is like this he can 't see it . I am looking for a job , still nothing . I look for a home for the kids and I to move to and can 't see how I can move if I can 't afford a place to live . I look at our wonderfully huge backyard and the sprouts growing waiting to be planted , do I set up the gardens ? I went out shopping the other night . The Easter Bunny needed supplies . Bedtime when there is no school is 9 : 00 pm . The routine is established and it works . I came home at 10 : 30 pm . I had the good sense to leave the bags in the driveway . Why ? Because I know that he does what he wants to do when he wants to do it and time really is meaningless in his world . I see my son playing hockey in the kitchen wearing just his underpants . I walk into the livingroom and my daughter is wearing just stockings and is watching tv . He is sitting in the corner in front of the computer . I was mad , I yelled , and I got the kids ready for bed . All he cared about was how much money I spent . He stormed off then too . He is good at getting me upset and them running away . On Easter he yelled at me about things I did months ago . I have been very good at staying away from him . If he is in the livingroom I go upstairs . He sleeps on the couch and I am okay with that . If we could just not interact it would be perfect . When I was in college I had a lot of friends . Some were what I would have considered best friends , other 's were good friends and still others people I knew by name . Some would come and go , and others were a staple of my day . These were the people I never thought would be missing from my life . If I thought about life years down the road I always pictured them there with me . As an adult I have had many people come and go from my life . Another group of people that I am attached to is my family . The old saying is that you can 't pick your family . I may not have picked them to be in my life but there they are and I for the most part accept them and love them . Maybe it is because I was the picked on kid in elementary and junior hight school . Maybe it is because I was so shy growing up . Maybe it is because I have children now . I take it very hard now when I am rejected . When I reach out to someone and they swat me down it hurts more than when I was a child . It is even worse when it is someone I thought was a close friend or a family member . When I was a child there was no internet . I had my friends , some of which am pleased to say are still close friends of mine today . I knew who to stay away from , it was pretty easy . If they spit in my hair I knew to avoid them . If they teased me I would stay away . It 's not like that anymore . People pretend to be your friend . They can have you believing them for decades . Even if they are family , as we get older and develop our own practices and beliefs they can lead you to believe that you are welcome in their life . Then when you connect with them in person or via the computer they flatly reject you . Sometimes you think you can reconnect with a friend from long ago . One of those friends that was part of your life every day . One that you could picture with you years down the road . When you find them and are so excited that you can almost not sleep . You send out that electronic touch and wait for the reply . Instead of a reply there is nothing . Not a acknowledgement , not a connection . The rejection is loud and clear . I know people change , I know I am not the same person I was 25 years ago . Maybe because I did not have many friends growing up I want to cling onto the ones I have . When they slip away and reject me I take it personally . With old friends it is usually someone I don 't have much if any contact with . I reach out and they reject me . I fell hurt but I don 't have to interact with them at all or hardly ever . I may be upset but It doesn 't effect me on a regular basis . When they are a family member , and some one that I thought was a friend , that I see fairly often and they reject what do I do ? I can 't avoid them . They act smug and superior when we interact . Then the rejection . When I get the courage to ask them about it and they look me in the eye with a smile on their face and tell you that they did it , I feel even more hurt . I won 't go there again . I just can 't . Sadly there is no way to avoid them . So now I fear the next time I must be in their presence . How do I react ? Last night I was snuggled in my bed nice and cozy . My daughter , who was wide awake and bouncing hours after her bedtime , had finally fallen asleep next to me . I was watching a DVRed tv show and ready to fall asleep myself . Then I hear the sound . It was the sound that a firetruck makes as it is idling and earlier I had smelled smoke so my curiosity was peaked . If you remember curiosity killed the cat . A little backstory ; when we moved into this house almost a year ago we managed to squeeze our queen size mattress upstairs but the box spring absolutely did not fit through the doorway to our stairs . We could have bought a split box spring but I want to move up to a king size mattress preferably a temper - pedic type that could be squished through the small doorway . So I didn 't want to spend the money on a new box spring . Since then we have just been sleeping on the one mattress on the floor . It may not be glamourous but it is functional . Because the mattress is on the floor we have gotten into the bad habit of walking on it . I know beds are for sleeping on , but still I walk on the mattress . So last night when I hear the rumbling I stood up on the bed and walked over to the window on the other side and near the foot of the mattress . I looked out and could see nothing making the noise . Oh well , I turned around and maneuvered around my sleeping daughter . I stumbled and fell . Next to my bed is a wooden night stand . Not a fiberboard one that you can buy in most department stores . This is old school wood and very solid . My head was aimed right for it . To my left was my sleeping daughter and to my right was my floor . Somehow I managed to twist myself to aim for the floor . I can only imagine how this must have looked . If I could have recorded it I bet that I would have won some money on one of those funny home video shows . Why when you are falling does time seem to go so slowly ? It felt like forever before I hit the ground . So many thoughts went through my head . What if I woke up my daughter ? What if I knocked myself out and she didn 't wake up ? What if I hit my head on the night stand and die ( Yeah I always leap to the worse case scenario . ) ? Down , down , down I fell and the floor kept getting closer . Finally I hit the floor . I landed firmly on my right cheek . How graceful this must have looked . I was half on the floor and half on the bed . It hurt but I didn 't make a noise ( other than a large crash when I landed ) because I didn 't want to wake my daughter up . I lay still for a moment and assess myself . I broke my ankle in a fall down the stairs over a decade ago so I now expect the worse . No horrible shooting pain , okay that is a good sign . I feel my face and there is no blood , another good sign . I can move , good . So I slowly adjust my body so I can get back on the mattress all the way . I can fell the beginings of future aches and pains in my back , hip , wrist , knee and ankle ( of course it is the same one I broke ) . Luckily I have some Tylenol PM near by so I take a couple pills and check on my sleeping daughter . She is still out like a light . I am glad she would have freaked out if she had seem me fall . Then it would have been another hour or two before I could get her to fall back asleep . I am back under my covers as cozy as I can be as the twinges of pain further develop . I finish the tv show and go to sleep know that when I wake up muscles I forgot I had would be reveling themselves to me and I would not want to move . So here I am a mother of two and an adult who should know that mattresses are for sleeping on , not walking . I am always reminding my children to not jump on their bed , don 't fool around on the mattress , if you fall off it will hurt . And who is the one who is hurt by falling of the bed ? Yes , the Mommy ! I am so embarrassed . I think this year we finally will get a garden . I have not had a good track record with vegetable gardens . I did however get a decent herb garden planted at our last house . I did have a garden in the backyard . It looked wonderful and the plants were doing well until the rain came . I somehow managed to pick the worst area in the yard for the garden . It looked like a lake . Honestly birds would come and play in it . I did take some advantage of it . We released tadpoles in it . The tomatoes died but I grew frogs so I guess it wasn 't a total loss . This year I am putting in raised beds . I have six 4 ' x4 ' raised beds made out of cedar . They slide together so I don 't need tools to assemble it . Good thing because my not so helpful husband has already said he will not assemble them . Since I am building up this year I need more soil . The problem was that I had no idea how much soil I needed . Fifteen years ago that would have been a problem . But now I have a computer and I am not afraid to use it . I did a Google search on soil calculators and found many . http : / / www . ataktrucking . com / materials - calculator / topsoil - calculator Somethings on the internet really are useful . I am buying the top soil this weekend and only need a little more than 2 cubic yards . I even found top soil on sale . I love a good sale ! Early this week we planted our seeds . We went to a couple different stores and the kids had so much fun picking out the seeds they wanted to grow . Some of their choices are a red colored corn , kaleidoscope ( multi - colored ) carrots , purple peas , sunflowers and mini pumpkins ( called Jack Be Littles ) . I hope that growing their own vegetables will encourage them to eat what they grow . Already most of the seeds have sprouted . It is the corn that is growing the fastest . The mixed color pepper however still are not appearing above the soil . This is the third time I have tried to grow peppers . All I want is a purple pepper . One of our local grocery stores sold them a few years ago . When you cut them open they are green . I fell in love with the flavor and then they stopped selling them . Same thing with purple potatoes . Why do grocery stores do that ? They suck you in with something new and exciting then yank it away as soon as you start to rely on it . So I had the bright idea to grow them . That is how this garden quest began . One year I thought that I had succeeded . I bought a packet of mixed color peppers . I started growing them and they sprouted . I planted them in an upside down planter and they grew . They got bigger and bigger and they were tomatoes . I planted peppers and tomatoes grew ! My first garden failure , though we did have some tasty tomatoes that summer . Now I am preparing our backyard for planting . There is one obstacle still . Our backyard is like a swamp right now . I was out yesterday and the mud grabbed onto my boot and kept it . I of course kept walking . Into the mud my foot went , the mud squished between my toes and it was cold . YICK ! Bonus , we are between thunder storms right now . One just passed and woke up my son ( he is in the bed next to me pretending to be asleep . ) and another is aimed right for us . How long does it take a yard to dry out ? Will this be another lake ? I am thinking positive thoughts and firmly believe that I will finally have a garden this year ( I hope ) . A couple of weeks ago I noticed a lump on my wrist . It didn 't hurt and would go away for a short while if I pressed down on it . I watched it to see if it got worse or went away . Well neither , and I still had to look at this mystery lump . I have to say that mystery lump = worry in my brain . So last week Friday I called the doctor . I got an appointment right away . No one said don 't worry , no calls from the nurse hours later suggesting a treatment , just an appointment on the next day the office was open . Well that didn 't exactly put my mind at ease . I am a worrier . If you are late I automatically think you are dead . That is just what I do . I know not everyone is like that , but still I would think mystery lump should earn me some concern from my spouse . I told him about it a few days after I found it . I didn 't even get a reaction . So I asked if he heard me . Yes , lump , wrist , I heard you he said . Seriously I am trying not to freak out and he pretty much ignores the fact that there is an uninvited lump on my wrist . Today I went to the appointment . I had a couple other things to talk to my doctor about . I have a patch of ick on my ankle that sometimes hurts ( another thing I am trying not to worry about ) and I want to ask him about dyspraxia - a movement disorder that I seem to have a lot in common with . So let 's talk dyspraxia . My son has asperger 's and his handwriting is awful . I mean doctor level . Watching him write is enough to make you cringe . So I Googled " asperger 's and handwriting " I found a lot of information on dysgraphia . Why didn 't I think of that ? I just finished my Master 's in elementary education . I remember the classes vividly where we talked about learning disabilities . I never connected that to my son though . So I read many articles and did many searches . I asked the school to evaluate him for dysgraphia and he finally is getting some handwriting help . One of the words I kept running across was dyspraxia . I had never heard of it and I was curious so I clicked on it . I guess I just stumbled on it . That will be funny in a couple of paragraphs . Wow , it was like reading a description of my life . I have to go back to third grade . I met with a guy many times during the year . I loved the times he would pull me out of class . He always gave me a piece of Fruit Stripe gum . The one the multi - colored zebra was pictured on . I loved that gum . He would have me draw pictures and do some fun stuff . Fast forward a few years I was struggling at school . I couldn 't spell or do math . My parents had to hire a tutor for me and sent me to a special learning center . This continued through high school . Then college I was still struggling but now I didn 't have to go to class so I didn 't do very well . When I was ready to go back to school I mentioned my trouble to someone and they asked me if I had a learning disability . No , I said , but my mom said oh I thought so in elementary school and I had you tested for it . What ? Why didn 't I know about that ? So she told me that nice man who pulled me out of class ( she didn 't know about the gum ) was a school psychologist and he evaluated me and didn 't find anything . I wish I knew who suggested it but they said I should pull a copy of his evaluation . I went to the municipal building and got there only a few months before they got rid of my records . My mom and I checked it out as soon as we got to the car . My mom is a special education teacher . She know what all these results mean . I really didn 't understand what a Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children was or what a stanine was . But as soon as she saw it she got so upset . There was a gap in my stanine levels and if she had known that she would have had me reevaluated . So now I wondered if I had a learning disability . But no one would tell me how to find out if I did . I spoke to people who told me to forget about college , I just wasn 't meant for it . Seriously . And I did for a while . I am going to pat myself on the back here . When I went back to college I made the dens list constantly and graduated Magna Cum Laude . I went on to graduate school and am graduating this May with a GPA equivalent to an A - . I just had to change the way I learned in the classroom . Now it has been many years since I was evaluated in the third grade and I have moved many times . Boxes of my life had been thrown away or lost . Things I treasured are no more . But those two Xeroxed pages of my psychological case file I still have . And I know exactly where they are . I recalled that one of the things mentioned in it was that I was uncoordinated and had problems with gross motor skills . One thing that I can 't get away from is if I walk I will trip . If I am holding something I will drop it . If I am eating I will spill it on my clothes . I cannot get my hair to part or apply make up . I try , but it never turns out right . Friends of mine still tell stories about the silver eyeshadow that flaked onto my face . I am uncoordinated . I can trip on a flat surface and miss a door and walk into a wall . When I looked at the signs of dyspraxia I swear I was reading a biography of me . Was someone following me ? One of the signs was difficulty driving . I had such a hard time learning to drive that I was in my late 20 's before I learned and even then I didn 't drive . Another symptom was difficulty applying makeup , poor hand eye coordination . I still can 't catch a frisbee , baseball or any ball for that matter . So I went into that doctor appointment with a lump , ick and dyspraxia . The doctor walked in looked at my wrist and announced it was just a cyst . No worries it is common and I can get rid of it if I hit it with a book . No jokes , when I looked it up online that was a real treatment for it . I opted for no books hitting me and still have my lump . Last night we went to a acrosse game . I didn 't want to go . I find more and more that I don 't like leaving the house . Is it because I know when we go out as a family that my husband will snap about something and the fun will be gone ? I don 't know , but I do know that I have to force myself to walk through our door into the world . The evening started well . As usual we got refreshments at the stadium , My daughter and I got Italian Sausage while my son devoured a slice of pizza . My husband chose chicken fingers . Then he bought the kids ice cream and popcorn and of course we all had drinks . The game was fun to watch . He calls it " Kill the guy with the ball " and that is an apt description . Seriously it is okay to hit the player in the head with a lacrosse stick if they have the ball . This is a sport that I have no plans of participating in . Of course my daughter gets bored early but she entertained herself by dancing to the music they played during the game . I wish they played music during other sports . It does make watching them more bearable . We also happened to be sitting in front of protective rails . To keep us from falling down two steps . This entertained both children as they were like monkey bars . They climbed on them like we were at a playground . When the game was almost over my daughter and I went to the store in the lobby so we could avoid the crowds . Walking among so many people makes me anxius and keeping track of a little girl in that mass of people is a nightmare . Plus getting on the escalator with so many people around and trying to get on the same escalator terrifies me . So we go down and look for souveniers . That is a normal ritual , we always get the kids something from the store . Little did I know this was the beginning of a husband flip out that has never been this bad before . It was the calm before the storm , and a pink pare of pajama pants woud be the trigger . I know to discuss money with him . I also know about how much we spend on souveniers from the store almost everytime . The price of the pants was within the usual range . She like the pants so much that she picked them over the pink teddy bear wearing a hockey jersey . If you know my daughter pink fuzzy things are her thing . For her to put back a pink fuzzy item for a pair of pajama pants was a huge indicator for how much she loved them . Now we had been in the store for a while and I was getting impatient . The crowds were coming down stairs so I was pretty sure the game ended . People were talking like the gme ended , our team lost by the way . It wasn 't even close . I was looking for him and my daugher was getting bored . A child bored in a store is never a good thing . In department stores or supermarkets I can contain them in a cart if I have to . But I couldn 't do that here , there were no shopping carts . Just many racks of clothes and various souveniers as well as a growing crowd of people that can offer many hiding places for a small child . Yikes , where was he . Finally I see him coming . My son runs up to me and gives me a huge hug . My husband slowly strolls into the store and barly acknowledges my prescense . I try to show him the pants and believing this was like all other trips to the arena said that she wanted the pants . He didn 't look at them and loudly said " no " completly brushing us off . I asked what took him so long and he lost it . There was a lacrosse brawl and the game took longet to end people were leaving early because our team was losing so bad and why was I being a nag . I took a deep breath and went back to the idea of souveniers for the kids . Remember this is something we always do . We don 't get to go to the games often . We got these tickets with the enrollment of the children in a kids club for our hockey team . I knew we had set aside money for just this purpose and I asked him to at least look at the pants . My daugher at this point is in tears . He then gets upset because we spent so much on food ( again I knew we had the money set aside ) and then he says our children are slefish because they wanted a souvenier . Well if they expect a souvenier at arena events we attend we were the cause of that because in the past we always got the kids something . So I put down the pants and ask him if the pants are too much then lets set a price limit for a souvenier and let the kids pick out somehtin in that range . I wish i could remember tha words he spoke with his reaction , I believe he called me a cry baby and I didn 't want to get in a fight in the middle of the store so I walked out . Of course he anounces loudly that I had beeter leave and go to the car . Deep breath , nice and slow do not turn around and engage I told myself . I went into the lobby to wait assuming that he would have the kids pick out cheaper souveniers . WRONG ! ! ! ! He comes out of the store with the kids . My daugher has the pajama bottoms and my son has a lacrosse stick . Another deep breath and then he loudly says the kids are selfish . He has bought them souveniers in the past and how dare thay think they would beable to get one this time . They are cry babies and now they could have no activites next week ( spring break ) because they were so selfish . The kids start to cry and once again he calls all of us cry babies and says I shmoed him into buyng the kids these souviners . It is my fault that he is so upset and now they would be bored all week . No Bounce Magic and no lunces out with mommy . On that note we walk out of the arena to head to the car . I take both kids hands and try to hang back from him . I don 't want them to hear the awful things he is saying . This makes him more upset and he announces loudly that he was going to the car and leaving the three of us behind . Seriously ! ! ! Now I was more than mad . How dare he say such a thing infront of his kids . They both start crying hysterically because they think they are being abandoned by their father . We get to the car and of course he didn 't leave but the kids thought he was going to . He says that he didn 't do anything wrong because he never left and his father made him walk home after he was left at hockey practice when he was a child . Nothing I say can get him to understand that he can 't do things like that . The evening is ruined . We drive home pretty much in silence . Sadly things continued at home . One of the things my daughter did to entertain herself was to hide under an empty section of seats behind us . It was adorable , she was having fun and enjoying herself . Of course she didn 't think of what icky stuff could be on the floor of an arena , but I did . So when we got home I asked her to take a bath . Yes it was late and after her bedtime but I couldn 't let her go to sleep without washing . He now decides to play " let 's challenge everything Mommy does " . He didn 't want her to take a bath . He didn 't want to read a bedtime to her , he didn 't want to turn off the upstairs tv ( that he never watches ) so she wouldn 't get disturbed as she is trying to fall asleep . Our room and her room are next to each other upstairs . To get to our room you have to walk through her room . There also is no door between the two rooms . If someone is in our room while she is going to sleep she fools around and does anything she can to interact with them . I try to explain this to him , but he just saw it a s me trying to control him . Finally both kids are asleep and I go upstairs to hide in our room while he watches tv downstairs . He slept on the couch and I was okay with that . This week will be challenging . I hope we all survive spring break . I am a Mommy . All my life that is what I wanted to be . I also am an elementary school teacher . At the moment I am a substitute teacher . I may not have my own classroom but I care about every one of my students like I would if I was their regular teacher . I recently left my husband . What started as a great marriage fell apart over the years into an emotional abusive relationship from him to me . The more independent I got the meaner he got . Finally among a family crisis he decided to leave the country to go to a sporting event . I had an opportunity to leave and I took it . So starts another new beginning for me . |
My name is Donovan jameson . I find myself having to remind me of who I am . I know that I wrote that I 've been lost before , that I don 't know who I am , but this is different . This is way different . Is it possible that … you could lose yourself so much that it becomes a reality , that you start actually losing your identity ? Some weird things have been going on lately and … I just need to make sure , I need to have it written down that … that I am me . My name is Donovan Jameson . The past two weeks … The past two weeks have been scary . My father was an alcoholic , there is no other way to put it . I never met my mother . My father never talked about her , In fact he always got mad when I asked about her . My father took me out of school when I was only eleven . The next year , we migrated around the entire country with his friends going from bars to strip clubs , and casinos while I spent my days watching TV in his friend 's RV . I started working in my uncles garage when I was thirteen . At fifteen , I was making enough money to take care of myself . I stayed home to take care of my dad , which meant buying groceries and paying most of the utility bills . My father had a small job cleaning the toilets of the bars where he spent his entire life , but he had no commitments , he didn 't have to . When responsibilities came knocking at his doors he used to tell me in between beer heavy breath " I 'm not cut out for this , I was never suppose to have kids , ya know " . But there was one thing that he committed to , and that was to give me " allowance " every two weeks since my sixteenth birthday . On my sixteenth birthday , his friends and him dubbed me a man and they give me a shot of Sam Adams . I threw up almost immediately . They all laughed and I remember one of them saying that I would soon get used to it because I was my father 's son . I never got used to it . The next day , he gave me my first " allowance " and told me that he would continue to do so every other week . He was serious , almost diplomatic , when he pulled me over and sat me down . He said " In our family , we have a tradition " . He emphasized on the words family and tradition . " As a man , he continued , you are now a part of this tradition " . He paused to mark the gravity of this moment . " I don 't have much , he mumbled scratching his head , but this is your beer money … buy enough to last you two weeks though " . He got up to leave and then turned around to say " Don 't worry , I 'll give you some tips along the way " . He scratched the back of his pants and walked trough the door . Every other Friday evening , he would proudly hand me beer money along with some advice to increase my alcohol tolerance . Strange enough , it was then that I bonded the most with my father , not because I was interested in what he was saying , but because he truly enjoyed talking about it . Even when I left the house , he still continued the tradition despite my plea . I never spent the money he gave me because I always thought that one day when he is dire need , it would come in handy . On my twenty first birthday , I decided to open my own garage . After the inauguration , I saw less and less of him . At some point , I only saw him on the Fridays when he would willingly leave his friends behind to catch up and give me some money . My father passed away when I was twenty six , just when I was getting used to seeing him on those Friday evenings . It was just when I was looking forward to the old man 's regular visit because that was the only time where he was my dad , where he was just mine . The day after his funeral , I decided to take the beer money that was in my saving account and spent it all so it would not remind me of him . I took a chance and bet all on the only roulette wheel at our local casinos where he was a regular . I bet it all on the number ten , to represent the ten years that he had been giving me beer money . I bet it all and won . I wonder if he knew it all along . My father always knew that I didn 't want to live the life he did , maybe that 's why he never asked me what I really did with the money he gave me , maybe that 's why he never talked about my mother because he knew it could break my heart . My father was an alcoholic , there is no way around it , but I would trade my millions for his Fridays evenings . She came out of her room crying . I wonder how she ever found her way in the dark , and how she knew I was awake . She climbed on the couch , where I was sitting in front of the quiet color breathing TV . She pretended not to hear me tell her to go back to bed . She laid her head on my lap and fell asleep . she was three . the next morning , she hurried to the couch where she left her backpack from studying the night before . she had a delicious wrap in one hand , and my mother 's mouth running in the back of her head . She was going to be late for school . She fixed her book on the couch where I was sitting . my father left the house first , he always grumpy in the morning . My mother followed him screaming one last thing as she walked out . She ran after her two minutes later . She waived at me and slammed the front door behind her Later that evening , she stormed in through that door . she had that smile in her face . you know , the one that stains your mind for a while , like a pin on a small thread of your lifetime . She ran past me , and the couch , leaving a trail of joy behind . She ran to my parents , her diploma tucked under her arm . She ran through the house , my parents parading behind her . She ran to me and give me a quick , but rough hug . The phone rang and rang that evening . I reached over , on the coffee table , in front of the couch , and I picked up the receiver . It was her , the most happy I 've ever heard her . her words flowed like the fabric of time . She only stopped to giggled , then time stopped . she was telling me about her trip to Greece . It seems the flight alone was an adventure on it 's own . It seems the rest of her honeymoon promised to be nothing but amazing . It seems that amazing is all she ever was . And I 'm not just saying that because tonight she is sleeping over there , not too far away from the couch where I sit . Or because there is so much people gathered here in the living room . Or even that I don 't recognize most of them . My sister really is an amazing person . Even if she is not here to hear me say it . She has three kids . Her two sons are crying on her casket . The youngest is thirty years old , she has her eyes . I hold her in my arms ; she tells me stories of her mother as she cries . The doctor 's office is a dark place and it 's not because of lighting issues . A warm smile is creepy , more so when it 's sincere . This is where I am , my prison of choice . It 's time like this when freedom doesn 't sound so rewarding . I start coughing . Ironically , I always get sick when I go to the doctors . It doesn 't help when others start coughing with me . I hold my breath until I can 't no longer , then I do it again , and again . The room clears , and the creepy assistant lady tells me that I 'll be next . I freak out internally . She notices . She smiles and leaves . My blood pressure rises . I tell myself that it 'll be okay , that I 'll be okay . The tick tock of the clock frustrates me , it irritates me really . It isn 't safe to be alone … . anywhere actually . I think of worst case scenarios , and think of best way to respond to them if they were to occur . Better safe than sorry , right ? I hear a distinct bang behind the doors where the scary doctors work . It sends a shiver crawling through my back . I rationalize it . A metal tool accidently fell on the ground . It happens . I breathe a little harder . I look up at the white wall to try and focus on something else . It 's then that I notice a painting . I wonder how I could have ever missed those gold frames . The painting itself was quite simple . It was that of little girl in a field , a golden crop field that seemingly blended with the frames . The girl stood there in her white pajamas , the wind singing through her hair . She had vibrant dark hair . It had life on its own . The crops bent back , resisting the wind . The sky , in contrast , was lazy blue , like those days that take forever to start . There weren 't too many clouds but if you squint hard enough , you can barely see a flock of birds heading home . The girl stood there , centered on the left of the painting , her arms raised mimicking a scarecrow . She seems to be having the time of her life , a large smile plastered on her face . My mind goes there . For once , I forget how creepy I thought this place was . And when the assistant comes back , I return her smile . She tells me that the doctor is ready to see me . I follow her , glancing back at the painting . The doctor 's office is prettier than I expected it . He gets up and closes the door behind me . He locks it . From behind his back , he pulls out a giant jagged edge sword with blood and hair still on it . He smiles and says " you 're next ! " It was the third hour of midnight when the eeriness of the wolves ' cry had become soothing . They tiptoed passed the sleepy eyes of the once menacing woods . The obnoxious moon simply watched . They snuck into the skeleton of a once proud structure . It was almost time to play the game . Little Ricky was afraid . It had much to do with the fact that he was the youngest . It had more to do with the fact that he may only play the game once . The boys laid their backpack on the nude soil that already showed signs of swallowing the old house . In their bags , they pulled out metal death . The game was about to begin . They dipped their small hands in the can of fresh painting , without saying a word . They were so focused , and their thoughts were so loud . Each reciting the future as it 's supposed to happen . Each knowing well that it might not happen at all . They painted their faces with dark stripes , each line a stronger conviction . It was time ! Little Ricky was five . Him and the other boys circled around Michael , who in contrast was ten . A foggy cloud followed after every word he spoke . It was cold . The rules were simple . Everyone knew them ; it wasn 't rocket science after all . They plagued their minds ever since they knew about the game . The first rule was this , " last man standing wins " . The second and last rule , at the moment , was the most frightening of them all . They waited , uncomfortably , while the boy talked - irrelevant wordage . Michael was afraid . He scouted the ruins for a vintage point because he too was aware of the rules . The second rule was this , " as soon as the oldest was done with the introduction , they had 10 seconds to find cover and begin " His words became like tiny grains of sand of an hour glass , until the last grain dropped . Little Ricky ran , his heart first , the death bringer dragging behind . He found a huge pillar , and hugged it with every inch of his body . Short , muffled silence , then bullets rained from hell , whispering profanity as they went by . He felt the heat coming out of his agitated body , and sweat pored out just as fast as his tears . He quickly peeked and saw the bullets ravage another boy not too far from him , his blood running away from his empty body . Now it was horror creeping into his chest . He lifted the gun , and blind fired , the recoil knocking him away . He quickly ran back , leaving the weapon behind . He heard screaming . Screaming ! Loud , tear jerking screams . The he heard some more , and realized that he was not having fun . But the crepitating bullets crept closer slowly nibbling away the pillar he once thought safe . He plugged his ears with his small hands , trying to keep the demons away . Then he remembered , his hands quickly fiddling about , looking for something . He was trembling all over , making it all the more difficult to reach in his pocket . Making it all the more difficult to realize his enemies desperately changing cover . Then he felt the roundness of the metal in his pocket , and pulled it out . A grenade , He had brought a bomb , A heavy round metal that he held with two hands . He felt the bullets wining over his sanity and he swore he heard footsteps among the chaos . So he got up and pulled the pin . The grenade flew , and then dove ; it rolled , and stopped . The guns bowed and paused their singing . Kaboom ! said the dot on the floor with a trillion exclamation points . The old house shook , vomiting rubbles when it stopped . A small struggle , and little Ricky pushed the small fragments of concrete off him . He was grey , dusty grey . He looked around him , and listened . He heard nothing , he saw plenty . Millions of small body parts scrambled all over , blood red contrasting with the grayish - green concrete . Little Ricky looked around once more . He realized that he was alone . He reached over and grabbed his gun ; he got up , shook the dirt off him , lifted the weapon in the air and screamed " I win ! " You want to know how I create them ? … what inspires me ? Isn 't it obvious through my paintings ? Rhetorical question , he thought as he lowered his head listening to the lady 's reply . No , I 'm inspired by concepts , by life and , of course , by Death itself , he enumerated interrupting the disappointed reporter . He hurried to the next one by calling his name aloud and searching for a " John " - like face in the crowd . " John " he repeated as the gentleman stood up and introduced himself . He hated press conferences . It was becoming a routine ; different façade of the same questions . The critics were the same . " Yet another masterpiece ! " He read it so many times in their boring headlines . The word masterpiece should be banished as too much cliché , he thought as the magazines vanished timidly in his cozy fireplace . It 's been a couple of weeks since the incident . The media called it " a meltdown " , " a stroke of age " , " looney old phooey " , and the prints went one . He had never been more discussed in his career . The gallery was packed that day , the journalists and their likes having settled in the very front for an exclusive take on the mastermind behind the painter 's work . The gallery was freshly renovated to celebrate his own creations and that of many famous artists . The whole room was lit up by long rectangular acrylic lights that emitted a bright yet smooth bluish white glow . The walls were beige with regular size chinese letters written all over . Amazing , considering the fact that it was the entire novel of the late Lao Bei Fong . This alone set a calm , soothing atmosphere . The painter walked in carrying his tools . He was rather serious and unimpressed by the commotion that started once he got in the room . He stood in front of a gold painting frame with a faded dark canvas , just as he had asked for . The frame was already attached to the wall where it will remain . He stood quietly starring at the empty frame . A nervous young man provided him with a small stool . He didn 't bother to thank him ; he waited until he left and got on . He started from the top , on the dark background . The room choked on its own silence . Occasionally , an uncomfortable noise would escape , but for the most part all was quiet . The painter was focused ; he could do this in his sleep . He wasn 't quiet because he was concentrating ; he was quiet because he was mad . Angry that he should break his " masterpiece " into step by step instructions so that people could fully understand him . He was upset that he was the puppet of his own show , like an entertainer on stage . And mostly offended that people don 't take the time to dissect his art and appreciate its meaning before tumbling at his door for an interpretation . He used different materials to create a popping out effects . He was drawing a night shot of a busy wide street viewed from above . Part of a tall glass building was visible on the left corner to create the allusion of height . The faces in the room were either amazed at time , tired , or indifferent . The painter looked at his work , looked at his dirty hands and considered the energy he had just wasted . He turned back and looked at the crowd . " Be quiet ! " he urged . I 'm not done ! He said leaning forward with a dumb expression on his face . " This is only the background ! " Faced with this blatant ignorance he thought of leaving . " This painting has no meaning , he said pointing to what he had just done ; it means nothing ! Not to me at least ! What does this mean to you ? The room remained quiet . He hurried over to his audience , found a boy around five year old and grabbed him by the neck . Everyone held their breath in shock . He lifted him off the ground , his hands and legs dangling about . A few people thinking he had lost his mind , tried to come close enough to help the boy . " Stand back " he yelled . He approached his painting , the poor boy now red trying helplessly to free himself . The Painter now directly in front of the canvas leaned slightly back and using the momentum and his body strength slammed the boy into the painting . The boy was captured perfectly in the painting , his horrified face , his eyes embedded with fear , his hands and legs reaching . The painting had now become a terrified boy falling from the top of a building onto a busy wide street . It was madly realistic ! " Come see ! Hurry ! Come see ! " shouted the skinny boy to his friend , panting and puffing , " you have got to see her ! " " Who ? " said the chubby boy as he hurried behind his friend . " It must have been thirty minutes ago , " he explained , as he kept on walking , " I was just on the swing and there she was . " She was crying , so I decided to ask her what was wrong … " She was a heathy yet thin girl , probably around thirteen years old . She was tall for her age . Her straight blond hair covered her face and fell down all the way to her back . She was wearing a baby blue with white flower print dress that barely covered her knees . Her bare toes cringed with pain . She was sitting on the ground , near a grey bench , her head on her knees , and cuddled up on herself . She was crying . I tapped her on the back to get her attention , " resumed the scrawny boy , but she didn 't even lift her head . " " I tried to gently shake her , but she wouldn 't move ! I tried again , but she wouldn 't budge ! It was as if I was trying to push a brick wall ! " " Wow ! " exclaimed the heavy boy as he looked towards the strange girl . " So I ran to my dad , " continued the skinny boy , " and told him the story . " " I knew he wouldn 't believe me , so I dragged him against his will . He wanted to leave her alone , but I insisted . He tried talking to her , but she said nothing . So to prove my point , I put my hands on her shoulder and leaned my body on her so that I can use all of my strength to push her . Nothing happened . My dad was shocked at what I was doing , I could tell . He firmly grabbed me and severely told me to stop , but curiosity had already gotten the better of him . He looked around to make sure that no one was looking and he hesitated . He extended his arms and gently tried to shake the blond girl . He quickly pulled his hands and gasped when he realized that he couldn 't move her . " " She 's unmovable ! " concluded the skinny boy , " try for yourself ! " A multitude of unsatisfied eyes gawked at the mysterious girl . One after another , the witnesses approached her to challenge the myth of the unmovable girl only to be left in awe . A mutter rose among them and fluttered as opinions intermingled with shrieks and laughter . " It 's technology ! Don 't you know anything ! Well , I 've seen it all ! " said the old man and he walked away . A horrible scream ripped through the silent murmur of the crowd . Then a sudden rumbling noise as the crowd spread away from the little girl . As they ran , some tumbled , some clenched to others , some carried others , and others were stepped on . The reason : the girl stood up . She looked around a bit confused and still sniffling , barely opening her eyes as if her eyelids were too heavy . She wiped her last tears on her sleeve , sniffled , and stared back at them . Everyone was on full alert . Tara Biggs made her way through the crowd , caught in her own dilemma , her fears or this unique career opportunity . She chose her career . Keeping a safe distant , she screamed at the little girl , " Can you speak at all ? " Tara bravely walked all the way up to the little girl as the crowd watched her closely . As she bent down to her level to talk to her , she put her hand on her shoulder . It was then that she noticed a strange stiffness about the blond girl who looked at her waiting to hear what she was going to say . Instead she turned around to face her camera crew and signaled them with a waive of the hand to come to her . It was as if she was talking to the whole crowd because everyone started walking towards her . The crowd animated itself around the girl . There were probing questions , there was excitement , but as soon as there was a sense of security , the pushing started anew . The little girl stood still as they tried . " Good afternoon , everyone . I 'm Tara Biggs . It is the 10th of July . I 'm standing in Hampston Park , where we may have found the most peculiar girl . Around 4 : 30 this afternoon , we received a call at the station about a girl that was described as ' unmovable ' ! Yes , that 's right folks , unmovable ! We are now … " The sound of a roaring bulldozer caught the attention of everyone as they kept quiet for a moment . Soon after the mumbling rose again as they came to realize what the old farmer was about to attempt . Once again questions intermingled with opinions , worries , and excitement Some were opposed , but mostly everyone wanted to see the outcome of the girl versus the bulldozer . The setting was that of a faceoff . The strange girl watched as the bulldozer advanced slowly toward her . Only when it was a couple of inches away did she scream , " Stop ! " The heavy tractor came to a full stop with a loud noise and dust filled the air . The blond girl was visibly upset . Warm tears ran down from her green eyes . She waited until the dust had settled then she spoke with a kind of emotion that transcended her age , her being . " Why can 't a pretty flower be pretty along side of a road ? Why should you cut it into a bouquet ? Why can 't a majestic lion be majestic in the savanna ? Why should he furnish your zoo ? Tell me ! Why ? If it 's SO beautiful should you exploit its essence ? " In Ronia life is quite different then ours . In fact , the inhabitants are all made of glass and have a particular bubbly shape . There are filled with a red liquid which could clearly be seen through their transparent body . It had been raining lately , a faint yet lingering rain ; the type that gives the worst cold . It was a somber day , and despite the rain no one was in a rush to get home . They walked slowly like zombies in an old flick . They walked passed each other on the sidewalk , all with the same worn and sad face . But on that day Toodles didn 't feel like the others , he was in a hurry . He wanted to go home to his lover , to her warmth . He made his way through the crowd of monotony as fast as he could . He hated being away from home on those blue days ; he would rather spend it cuddling with his other half , but duty called and he had to go to work . He was lost in thoughts , so much that he accidently bumped into a rather grumpy and hideous character . He immediately apologized frenetically as he reached to make sure that his " victim " was alright , but instead the Ronian violently grabbed him and pushed him on the floor . He mounted him and started punching him as hard as he could . A crowed formed around them as they watched him get brutalized . He was screaming for help , but no one dared interfere with the ferocious brute that kept on slamming his fist on his round shaped head . Suddenly there was a commotion in the crow , and two large law enforcers made their way through the thick gathering . They were appalled by the fact that no one tried to stop the fighting . So they pushed some on the ground when they felt it was necessary to quickly stop the brutality , but when they got to the scene , they froze . An expression of horror lit up their faces . Toddles laid their motionless , his eyes and mouth wide open as if Death surprised him . His face was cracked and the red liquid had spilled on the floor . The liquid made its way slithering through the brownish soil . When it reached a second layer it had lost its color . The sand like soil separated the impurity from the liquid as it flowed silently through . After one last layer , the liquid was transformed into pure water and fell in a huge container of water . The container resembled a huge transparent fish tank . A huge red hand grabbed a glass and pushed it against a lever placed at the bottom on the exterior of the tank , then water pour out of an attached water spout and into the glass . The red giant creature drank the whole glass of water in one big gulp . He had long horns and a pointy tail . He laid back in his throne and let out a resonant and terrifying laugh It was a hot summer day . The boys and the girls all wore swimsuits and swim shorts . Donovan was so happy to have all of his friends in his backyard . Some were playing in the playhouse , and others were making a mess in the small inflated pool . After chasing Margaret and Lowie all over the backyard , everyone wanted to play Marco - Polo . Unfortunately , Natalie had to go because her dad was going to take her shopping for an upcoming trip . After getting tired from Marco - Polo , Donovan 's mom opened the sprinklers , and the running and screaming started anew . They had so much fun that the parents didn 't bother telling them to keep it quiet . As they were playing , however , Russell fell and hurt himself . Donovan 's mom helped treat him with some bandages , but he wouldn 't stop crying and finally she decided that she was going to personally take him home . His cousin Ricky decided to go with him as well . Donovan went inside to get his favorite toys and laid them down on the ground to play with his two best friends Lowie and jumbo ( a nickname that stuck with him because he was heavy in nature ) . They were lost in the world that they created while the other kids ran around the playhouse energetically . Later on , Chrystelle 's mom came to pick her up so that she could get ready for her ballet class . Not long after Margaret 's mom started yelling her name . Apparently , she had told her to play in her own backyard , but she didn 't listen . The boys continued to have fun with their toy soldiers and action figures until it was time to eat . One after another , the kids left ; some left one their own , other 's parents yelled out their name and they ran home . Even Jumbo had to leave . Lowie stayed half an hour later , but he was hungry as well . He said goodbye to Donovan and his mom and promised to come back later . Donovan remained on the grass playing with is toys , until he finally grasp the idea that he was all alone . The playhouse was empty ; the inflated pool was as good as empty ; and the backyard was quiet . He sat there and realizeRate this : Hitched He hauled the heavy luggage all the way to the grayish taxi . It was late in the evening and the sun was slowly setting so the warmth of the day was shyly fading away . The taxi driver was a heavy man with an animate belly . He seemed lazy but kind . He slowly walked over to the boy and helped him put his baggage in the trunk of the car , then he slowly open his door and sat down loudly behind the wheels . Donnie took a deep breath and looked at his family standing in front of the somber house . There were no emotions in his face ; he waived at them , and climbed the taxi without waiting for a response . He politely sat in the car as he would in a classroom , his hands joint on his laps . The engine hesitantly started and the car jerked as it started moving . The twelve year old sat still and silently for a while as if repeating to himself not to look back , but a single tear felt from his left eye . He made a sudden move , climbed on the seat and stood on his knees as he looked backwards . The driver glanced at him , but retired to the ongoing traffic . The yellow lines followed one another as if to point to where he came from . He saw his house waiving at him , he saw his bed running after the old car trying to catch up . He saw his best friend through the right window skateboarding along side the cab and wondered how he was able to keep up . He saw a never ending pool on the left window and his sisters swimming in it . He grabbed his head and told himself to stop . Stop ! He urged . The driver looked at the boy through the rearview mirror . Donnie still had his hands on his head ; he was struggling , fighting himself . He gave in once more and looked at the back window . He saw Elisa blowing his first kiss at him ; he saw the dogs chasing after it ; He saw his grand parents calling them out . He saw summer intermingling with winter ; he saw an empty tree on Christmas . He saw the spots where he used to play hide and go seek . He saw coconut trees ; he saw the sparkling blue ocean , and the smell filled the worn out taxi . He saw the rain chasing after the taxi ; he saw his dad running for cover , and his mom yelling to close the curtains . He saw … he jerked frantically when he a heard a voice behind him . The taxi slowly but surely made its way through the busy evening traffic . The sun had set and the city lit up . The boy stared blankly at the floor . He thought to himself that he won 't look back anymore , that he 'll forget about the past and focus on the future . So he lifted his head , looked through the windshield and saw … nothing ! A shiver ran through his whole body and he froze . He looked through the window . It was raining . It was his favorite time to write . He had been working on this novel for a while . He had the writer 's block for weeks now and has been depressed since . But the lazy rain drops on his window surfaced a burning desire to write ; he was inspired . He pushed the curtains aside to let the amazing view peek through and ran to his desk . He pulled out his paper novel . He likes to write his stories by hand which infuriated his publisher , but he was a damn good writer , so his way prevailed . He took a deep breath , and plunged into the world that he created . She slammed the door behind her . It was pouring outside to the like that she had never seen before , but she didn 't care . She was fed up with her family , with everything . She felt trapped in the turmoil called life . Constant arguments , broken dreams , never - ending problems plagued her mind . If it wasn 't one issue , it was the next , like a recycling system that never fails . She ran in the rain blinded by its thickness . She ran just to run as if she could escape her reality . She ran , but in vain . Like a cloud above her , her problems followed her shouting and screaming in her head . And she collapsed . She felt to her knees and cried . She cried bitterness ; she cried anger , and she yelled and cursed the sky and all that cowered in its kingdom . And her tears were as thick as the rain drops when they melt on the ground . She was soaked , weary , and alone like a lost soul in a desert . And she thought to herself that her whole life as been a tragedy , like a forced accident , that all of her efforts have been vain , that maybe it was better to quit now instead of hoping to change a future she already knows . So she dragged herself a bit further to a nearby active street and waited . It was impossible to see , she thought as she lay there , and she cried in anticipation of her own demise . But there were no blinding lights , no screeching tires , and no red wine on the pavement ; it was just her . And even the rain shyly faded like a mean joke . But her feeling hadn 't fade , her anger still remained . It was now drizzling , the rain drop danced on the pavement as if to mock her . So she got up resigned to a life that she swore wasn 't hers , but as she was leaving , a particular sign caught her attention . She wasn 't where she thought she was , the name of the street she was in was ' destiny " . She looked around to realize that she was lost . And she was instantly struck by a new conviction , she was hit by a strong realization that she was in control of her life , of her destiny . So she ran , in the rain , she ran . For everything she knew , shThe writer stopped and remained silent . He smirked at his own fear , at his own " geniusness " . He took a deep breath and plunged back in . And she shivered at a last thought , but her anger rose once more and conquered her fears . She had been through the worst , met pain too many times , and her tears are the scars she always wears . Her memories raged inside of her , dwelled in her eyes , in her mind , so she gathered her strength and kicked the door open … The writer fell off his chair and screamed as he crawled backwards . His door just opened and a lady walked in soaking wet . She stared at him with menacing eyes . He saw hell through them and screamed even louder . But the lady simply walked to his desk , took his paper novel , and walked away . |
This morning I hadn 't even finished my first cup of coffee when I heard , faintly , a hen cackling . Now , it 's never a good thing when you hear a chicken cackling before daylight . Especially since we 've had so many problems with varmints lately . The hen and chicks have their own little house , and I secure them every night , shutting the door . However , I have gotten lax lately , not wiring the door securely at the top . This was the day to pay the piper . I went running out to the little chicken house and saw Mama Hen frantically running around the pen cackling , with her chicks peeping around her like crazy . There were feathers scattered around the pen , and one dead , headless chick . At first only six chicks came out with Mama Hen , and I thought that was what I had left . Later I got to thinking that if there were only six chicks left , there would have been three corpses , not just one . So I went back to the little house and peeked into the corners and found two more live chicks , petrified with fear , and shooed them out . I went on to do the cattle chores , and Mama Hen was still in the driveway cackling when I was done . She was obviously traumatized , and was still cackling for over an hour after it all happened . Finally she acknowledged her babies and foraged around in the yard and garden all day . Cliff and I had plans to lock the hen and chicks into her little house / pen securely tonight , and then put our varmint trap right in front of that house , baited with the headless chick that was killed last night . When we went out at dusk , I heard the chicks peeping loudly and the mom clucking , but they weren 't in their little house . The noises were coming from the big hen house . Mama Hen was sitting on a nest in there , as it turns out , and the babies were trying , one by one , to fly up and join her . I was amazed . I was speechless , and honestly , almost had tears in my eyes . Chickens are among the dumbest animals God ever created , but that mommy thing is stronger than any weak mind , and the hen had no intention of letting her babies be killed . She had moved out of that death - trap of a house . I shut the chicken house door , knowing no chickens would die tonight . We did put the trap in front of the now - uninhabited brooder house . I doubt we catch anything . But Mama Hen has it under control , and no chickens will die tonight . I recently blogged about Blackie , a calf belonging to Cliff 's brother that I was trying to save . I had theories about what was ailing him , but was on uncharted territory . I honestly didn 't expect him to live , but he was such a fighter , and developed such a good appetite , that I just couldn 't give up on him . Yesterday when I got him up to give him a bottle , I noticed a swelling about the size of an orange at his naval . I felt it , and it was as hard as a rock . While I 've never had experience with naval ill , I had a feeling that 's what we were dealing with , so I consulted Dr . Google . What I found explained everything that had happened with that calf : Turns out naval ill , if not treated , turns into joint ill . The disease settles in the joints , causing pain and difficulty walking . You can read about it HERE . It can also go to the eyes , liver , heart , and other organs . I was briefly worried when I read it could be contagious , since we had Blackie in with three of my calves for several days . Further reading told me that it 's only contagious to calves in their first week of life . Had I paid attention to the calf 's naval when Phil first brought him over , he could have been saved . Cliff and I had noticed his naval looked damp all the time , but we assumed it was because he was laying on damp ground all the time . Rule number one when dealing with livestock or children : Never assume . If you go to the link I shared above , you will see that once naval ill has turned into joint ill , unless you have a very valuable animal and can afford to spend lots of money for an offhand chance you might save the calf , it 's time to cut your losses . That 's what we did . Cliff called his brother to tell him what was happening , and then he humanely put Blackie down . I have been wanting a pig on the place ever since I found myself with two milk cows . Even though the calves do the milking for me most of the time , I milk a couple of times a week to get milk for our own use . I like the cream in my coffee and on our oatmeal , but we don 't use all that much milk . It doesn 't take much for our morning cereal and what little baking I do , and it breaks my heart to pour perfectly good milk down the drain , knowing how much a pig would love it . I had been watching Craigslist for weeks , hoping to buy a pig at a reasonable price . Cliff was less than enthused about this , since he is the guy that has to figure out how to make pens out of what we have on hand , provide housing , and actually transport the animal to our place . To his relief , I wasn 't finding any pigs close to home , and I didn 't want to spend a lot of gas money running up and down the roads for small pig . That " one small " part was another point of disagreement : Cliff felt that if we were going to get a pig , we ought to get two of them . Two pigs just do better , he says , than one by itself . I only wanted one because the amount of extra milk I would have wouldn 't go far with more ; it will make a big difference in the diet of one pig , especially while he 's small . I didn 't want to be buying any more expensive pig feed than necessary . Oh , and if you only have one pig , he makes a better pet . When he finally decided I wasn 't going to shut up about a pig , he suggested that we stop looking at Craigslist ads and go buy a pig from the local farmer we 've purchased from before . " We might have to pay more , " he said , " but we won 't be running up and down the road spending more on gas that we would have to spend on a pig . " He had a point . Besides , we know the local guy has good , healthy pigs . Score one for Cliff . I called , and the guy , as always , had pigs available . I explained to him that I had extra milk , and wanted a pig around to make good use of it . " The smaller the pig , the better , " I said . A dollar a pound can make for an expensive porker , but not so much when you are buying an eighteen - pound baby . We loaded up a dog carrier in the back of the pickup and went to get our pig . We chose a male . " Oh , isn 't he pretty ? " I said to Cliff as the farmer carried our baby out of the barn . I think I saw the guy try to hide a smile . Maybe he isn 't used to having his pigs called " pretty " . Temperatures were in the 90 's when we brought him home . Instead of staying in the shade of his house ( a calf hutch ) , he insisted in stretching out in the sun . Did you know pigs can sunburn ? Since nothing I could do would get him to the shade , I put sunblock on him . And you know , pigs don 't take the heat very well . They really like a mud wallow , but since he had none , I bought him a cheap wading pool like the one we have for the little girl I babysit . Since then , Cliff has fashioned a shade over part of his pen using tarp and tie - down straps . And here he is at six this morning , eating his breakfast . When you have one pig by himself , he becomes a pet very quickly . If I climb into Stanley 's pen , he already comes over to me begging for a belly - scratch . He has started rooting , tearing up the turf in his pen , so we 'll have to put a ring in his nose or he will root his way out of the pen and end up at the neighbors , working on their flowerbeds or something . We still have some pig - rings from 30 years ago , so no purchase will be required . When Cliff 's brother brought his abandoned baby calf to me , I was confident that all he needed was a vigilant eye and proper nourishment . I figured he would be ready to sell on Craigslist in two or three days . That was the plan . Oh , I got a bottle of milk down him twice a day , but it was a real chore to get him to stand up at feeding time . He got a minor case of scours , I doctored it with the usual pills and electrolytes , and he was fine . But he never once bawled for his supper as new calves do at feeding time , and he had to be coaxed , and even helped , to get up . He was with three bigger calves who mostly ignored him , as he did them . He chose a corner in the sheltered area of their pen to spend his days , and there he lay . Cliff and I finally figured out that the calf has a problem either with one hind leg , or perhaps with his hindquarters in general , which is why he doesn 't like to get up and has difficulty walking . Phil told us that this calf followed his mother the first couple days of his life , so obviously something happened to him that injured him when he was a couple days old . Just about the time I think I should have Cliff put the calf out of his misery , he will show a little more enthusiasm for the bottle or act as though he wants to follow me around the pen once his belly is full , and I think perhaps there is hope . Maybe my city friends are thinking I should call a vet , but a farm visit is $ 100 , and the vet couldn 't do anything for the poor boy except perhaps tell me what the problem is with his hindquarters . You just can 't sink a lot of money into a baby calf , because you 'll never get it back . Last night we had another deluge . These days deluges are the norm , so we just shake our heads and go on . At tractor club last night the farmers were discussing the fact that they can 't sell their wheat because all the rain has put something , some organism or other , in it that makes it pretty much worthless . They haven 't been able to finish planting their soybeans , either . I don 't know what the latest date is on planting soybeans , but we must be rapidly approaching it . But I digress . I went outside to chore with some trepidation this morning , because there were fierce winds last night , along with five , count ' em , five inches of rain . First I checked on the baby pig we bought two days ago . . . more about him in another entry . . . because he seems to be the stupidist pig I 've ever owned . Anyhow , stupid pig had gathered his wits about him enough to seek shelter in the calf hutch Cliff gave him for a house . I went to look at Phil 's calf . I 've never actually named him , but have taken to calling him Blackie . He was laid out totally on his side with the older three calves all laying around him . When I nudged his with the toe of my boot there was no response , but I saw him blink , and thought , " Why don 't you just die and put us both out of our misery ? " You don 't want to see a cow or calf laying stretched out on its side for very long : If the animal is old enough to ruminate ( chew its cud ) , it will bloat if it lays there long . Blackie hasn 't progressed to chewing his cud , though . Yesterday I had gotten the thought that I was fighting a losing battle , but an old Gospel song came to mind . You atheists can turn your heads about now , because I 'm going to tell you a secret : God usually speaks to me through the old hymns , and I often get a message that means something for what 's happening at the particular time that it comes to me . So as I was deciding whether or not to stop " beating a dead horse " ( or calf ) , the words that came to me were this : " It is no secret what God can do . " So I fed him yesterday morning and evening . He showed enough enthusiasm to actually wag his tail as he nursed last night , but that 's the extent of it . After seeing him so nearly dead ( I thought ) this morning , I skipped his bottle . As I left the barn , though , I glanced over at him and saw him attempting to get himself upright . Well great . Here we go again . Now I 'll have to fix him a bottle and try to get him up . I got Blackie to his feet and gave him the bottle . He had more trouble than usual walking as I held the bottle in front of him , but he emptied the bottle . Obviously laying on his side so long hadn 't been good for his hindquarters , and the three calves that had been laying all around him may have laid on his back legs . . . who knows . I wouldn 't give you five dollars for that calf 's chances to ever get well , but as long as he can stand up , and as long as some old hymn comes to mind when I 'm tending him , I guess I 'll keep on trying . Just before Rocky decided it was time to move on , a lady sat down at my right on the bench I had claimed as my own . She listened to the latter portion of my conversation with Rocky , which was mostly about various Democratic candidates from the past , but also included a mention of Hillary . Rocky suddenly realized people were going in and out of the old depot that was creating our shade , and turns out his wife had asked him to keep watch over it and make sure no vandalism was done while she took a break from her station at the door . I 'm sure at least two dozen folks had entered and left the place during our conversation , but he hadn 't noticed them during the preceding forty - five minutes . The lady , whose name I never asked , mentioned how nice it felt in the shade with the breeze and all , and of course I agreed . Then she said , " I 'm just beginning to feel better again . I 've been under the weather for the longest time . I have congestive heart failure . " " That 's too bad , " I said . " I know there isn 't any cure for that ; all you can do is treat it as best you can . " She went on to explain that she had really been feeling low , but was sent to a different cardiologist who felt she was on too many conflicting medications and had taken her off several of them , at which time her condition began to improve . I asked her the doctor 's name , and it happened to be Cliff 's cardiologist . Anyhow , he seemed to have done her a world of good , and she considers him a very good doctor . Here we were having a chat in Lathrop , sixty miles from where I live , and I found out she lives in Odessa , just eight miles south of my home ; she has a couple of nephews who will be at the Adrian tractor show next weekend . That 's when she told me her last name , so I could watch for the guys at the show . It was an unusual name , and I really wish I had written it down . But I didn 't . We discussed gardens , and she said she really misses hers . I asked her if she knows about Harvesters , and she did . Her brother helps with the Harvester 's distribution . " So much of the food they have is bad , though , " she said . That 's true . It 's food that stores can 't sell because it 's past the expiration date , or vegetables and fruit that are past their prime . Still , a lot of the stuff is usable and good . I know this because Cliff 's brother helps hand out the stuff at his church . So this was a totally different type of conversation than the one I had with Rocky , much more laid - back and with a lot more input from me . The reason I wish I had paid attention to her last name is that I would have been glad to take tomatoes and other excess garden stuff ( if there is any ) to share with her . She isn 't far away , and Cliff and I are occasionally in Odessa . As it is , we were no more than ships passing in the night . But I like to think she may have been an angel , sent to tell me to get on another insurance plan or to assure me that Cliff 's cardiologist is a decent doctor . . And who knows ? Rocky may have been an angel too . Angels come in all shapes , sizes , and persuasions , and maybe I needed to be reminded that building Cliff 's shop was one of our best decisions ; otherwise Cliff would be in Rocky 's shoes , wishing he had a shop but being afraid to go in debt to build it . Posted by Yesterday Cliff and I went to a tractor show at Lathrop . Cliff opted not to take a tractor for the show . We left fairly early , since the forecast predicted a high in the mid - nineties . It doesn 't take Cliff long to wander through all the flea markets and then look at the tractors , and we figured we 'd get home by the hottest part of the day . After we arrived and I was getting out of the car I realized I had forgotten a couple of important items : My cane - chair and my cell phone . My spirits sank with the realization that I would never be able to cover the grounds without the cane - chair , which gives me a place to sit no matter where I am . Obviously I 'd be looking for benches to sit on while I looked at tractors with Cliff . Benches are in high demand at these shows , though , considering about 2 / 3 of the attendees are of retirement age . Cliff and I split up to walk through the flea - market area . I found a couple of cheap items of interest there , visited with my neighbor Diane who lives down the road and is always at that flea market selling things , and then met with Cliff and strolled with him toward the area where there are other vendors selling all sorts of junk valuable stuff like chains , tools , bolts , and the like . The heat was already getting pretty intense ; I left Cliff 's side and walked toward a line of International tractors , and that 's when the old depot caught my eye . There were unoccupied benches along the front of it , and the depot was providing an exceptionally inviting shady spot . I wish I had taken a picture of such a veritable oasis . I did take a picture of the tractors I was admiring as I sat there , though . You can see what a lovely , protective shade was cast by the depot , and to make things perfect , there was a steady cool breeze . I fired up the IPad and played a couple of games of Sudoku , looking up often at the people strolling down the line of old tractors . Before long I saw Cliff ; I joined him long enough to tell him what a delightful haven I 'd found , then told him to enjoy himself and that I 'd look him up later . I sat down . I had turned on the IPad and started a new game when a man about my age approached and said , " Is that an IPod ? " " It 's an IPad , " I said . He started asking a lot of questions about it . He hates computers and has no desire to own one , but he would like a device on which he could keep names , addresses , and phone numbers , and also keep notes ; he wondered whether he would have to have Internet to do such things on an IPad . I told him he would not , but suggested he find something cheaper than an IPad for his purposes . No need to spend a lot of money for what he wanted . Then somehow the conversation turned , and I now know more than I ever wanted to know about the guy . Oh , he was a nice person , he just did more talking that I 'm used to , and didn 't really give me a lot of chances to converse back . Here are things I learned about him : He 's a Shriner ; he 's a member of the Lathrop tractor club , but doesn 't have a tractor because he doesn 't have a garage where he could work on tractors . He used to work at the Allis Chalmers combine plant in Independence . I told him our tractor club president retired from there and gave his name . Oh yeah , he knows him . I asked his name so I could tell Bill I talked to him , and he said the people he worked with only know him as Rocky . Let 's see , what else ? Oh , he and his wife were married on Main Street in Lathrop in old - fashioned clothes because it was the town 's centennial at the time . He once got autographs from John Kerry , two big fancy framable autographs . . . one for himself and one for his wife , but she sold hers for $ 250 and put a new tile floor in her porch and callOh , I 'm just getting started . He got back to the " I wish I had a garage " and I said , " Well , why wouldn 't you build one ? I know you could afford it if you worked at Allis Chalmers for thirty years . " And I explained how Cliff and I went in debt to build his shop and it was the best thing we ever did . So then he had to tell me how he hates debt , but a few years ago he found a deal on the prettiest pickup in the world and got a loan . He made several payments on it , and one day got a call from the banker . I won 't stretch the story out like this guy did , but turns out somebody who will forever remain anonymous paid off his loan . The banker was sworn to secrecy , but said it 's someone Rocky knows well . He 's tried to figure it out and has asked different people , but nobody will confess to doing it . He thinks they did it because he has always tried to help people , especially old folks . Every morning he drives around town ( Lathrop isn 't a very big town ) , gets out of his car , picks up the newspapers thrown in older folks ' yards , and takes them to their porches , sometimes even placing it inside their screen doors . Actually , I did enjoy the whole conversation , and I truly believe he 's a nice guy , even if he IS a Democrat and talks a lot ( those who know me will realize I jest ; I 'm equally disenchanted with all political parties ) . Just before Rocky left me , a lady came over and sat on my bench , and a whole new conversation started . That will be another entry . Posted by Cliff 's brother called me several days ago . One of his cows , an aged one , had birthed a calf . He had seen the calf following the cow the day after it was born , but had never actually seen it nurse , so he wasn 't sure if it had gotten colostrum or not . Anyhow , three or four days after it was born , Phil found it lying off someplace by itself and the mother was showing no interest at all . So he got it to the barn and called me for advice on bottle - feeding a calf . The calf wouldn 't get up , so he was bottle - feeding it lying down ( a big no - no in my book . . . if I can 't get them up , I tube - feed them ) . It would take a few sucks , then spit the bottle out . He 'd force the bottle back in its mouth , it would suck a little . . . but it would not hold the bottle in its mouth without help . I gave him what advice I could and thought very little about it for a couple of days . Then I told Cliff , " I think I should have offered to tend that calf for him until it 's to a point where he can sell it . " Cliff called Phil and told him , and he said he would be right over with the calf . Phil has COPD and asthma , and he was having to bend over the calf trying to force - feed it the bottle in this hot weather and having an awful time breathing . So he and his wife were very happy for my offer . Meanwhile , when it comes to raising calves , I love a challenge ! I have a way of making a calf stand up whether they want to or not , so while Phil and Faye watched , I made him get up . I straddled him facing forward and poked the bottle in his mouth , and he behaved in the same way Phil described . The only difference was that I had him on his feet . He would not , however , hold the bottle in his mouth and suck for any length of time . With patience , I was able to get a full bottle down him , which was more than Phil had been able to do . So now I was milking half a gallon of milk twice a day from Penny before I turned three calves in with her , and pouring it into a calf bottle . There are two kinds of calf bottles . Most people prefer the bottle on the left : the top screws on easily and the milk flows freely through the nipple so that the calf is done nursing in about 60 seconds . I have never cared for that one , though . It lets the calf get too much milk too fast . I would rather take a little more time and let the calf get his milk at the speed Mother Nature intended . The bottle on the right has a snap - on nipple , which is difficult for a lot of people to put on . I 've probably put those snap - on nipples on thousands of bottles in my time , so I 'm an expert at it . Now , when you buy a new nipple it does let the milk through very slowlly , so I always cut the opening a little larger . Still , it never lets the milk come out as fast as the screw - on bottle does . I 'd say it takes a calf at least five minutes to empty it . I had a hunch Blackie would do better with a snap - on nipple , but I seem to have lost the nipples for that kind of bottle , so I used the other one . Today , though , I picked up a couple of those nipples . Tonight , using a bottle with that nipple , the calf sucked eagerly without me straddling him and forcing him to hold the bottle in his mouth . If I took the nipple out of his mouth , he came forward searching for it and found it with no help at all from me . I love it when things work . He 's a big , strapping bull calf . We just want to get him healthy and vigorous enough so Phil can sell him . He does have one flaw : His right eye is cloudy . He seems to be blind in that eye . However , in today 's market , if he has nothing else wrong with him , he 'll bring a pretty penny . He 's 100 % beef , and that is a big plus compared to the dairy calves I raise for myself . I don 't usually turn any of my chickens out until three or four o ' clock in the afternoon , often even later than that , because that 's what my grandma did ; I think she had figured out there was less chance of chicken hawks snatching her hens late in the day . But the kid I babysit and I were working in the garden around 10 A . M . and I decided Mama Hen and her babies looked hot . I knew we had no plans to leave home today after spending several scorching hours at the zoo yesterday , so either Cliff or I would be outside a good part of the day . I turned them loose and then turned on the garden tiller and began tilling between the rows to get rid of the weed seedlings . Baby Girl played , sometimes running up and down rows and sometimes stepping over them . She shoveled dirt into a bucket and , in general , had a great time . I kept a good eye on her and tilled away , not giving a thought to the chickens . In fact , it wasn 't until almost lunch time when we were back inside that I thought about Mama Hen and her brood : She is never too far from our yard these days , and I realized I had not seen her since I first turned her out . I went looking a couple of times , being sure to check in the open part of the barn where she and the chicks eat beetles like crazy every evening . Not a feather did I see , nor a cluck did I hear . And Mama Hen NEVER stops her constant clucking when she has babies . " I have a bad feeling about this , " I said to Cliff . " Something isn 't right . If something got her , the chicks don 't have a chance out in the big world . " We ate dinner and I put Baby down for a nap . While she was still asleep , I went out and looked in all the usual places once more , being sure to check under the big Spruce trees behind Cliff 's shop , because she hung out there often with last years ' babies . I had wondered if perhaps a hawk had swooped down and tried to get her , and maybe she felt safe under the close cover of those tree branches . I really didn 't have to look once I got there , because there was no cluck - cluck - clucking . I strolled over to look behind the open shed near the hen 's little cottage , started to turn toward the house , and suddenly heard the welcome , distant " cluck - cluck - cluck " I had been yearning for ! She WAS in the shade of some spruce trees , only she had chosen the five - and six - year - old Norway spruce trees just beyond the garden . I tried to get her to come to me , saying " chick chick chick " , but she wasn 't budging . That verified to me that something had scared her , because she always comes when I call : it usually means I have some sort of treat like stale bread and other leftovers , or chicken scratch grains . The chicks were complaining . You can always tell by the tone of their peep - peeping whether they are happy or not . I got the waterer out of their pen and carried it to their safe spot , where the mood of their peeping changed to happy as they quenched their thirst . I came to the house and grabbed a couple of left - over biscuits for them and counted them as they were eating : All nine were present and accounted for . But let me start at the beginning . My mom always kept chickens during the first twelve years of my growing - up , so I soaked up a lot of knowledge about poultry without even trying . I played with the hens , sometimes taking a cardboard box and cutting " bars " in it to make a cage . I usually had one or two chickens that were tamer than the rest as a result of my handling them from the time they were one day old . Sometimes a hen " goes broody " , which means she quits laying eggs and sits on the nest on eggs the other hens are laying , hoping to hatch out some babies . If you follow this blog , you know that I currently have a hen outside that I allowed to hatch out some babies . Once a year is all the baby - chick - hatching I want . I get tired of trying to keep the pesky varmints from eating them , not to mention it 's something extra to chore after . During this past week , I had yet another hen go broody . I only have four hens right now , and one of those is out of circulation because she is raising her babies . I don 't need another slacker in the flock . I got tired of being growled at and pecked every time I reached under the newly broody hen and decided to " break her up " like my mom used to do : I put her under an upside - down tote ( Mother used a wash tub ) , weighted it down so it didn 't get tipped over , and left her . When my mom used this method , it only took two or three days in isolation and darkness for a hen to repent and re - join the laying population . However , this morning I tipped up the tote and she growled at me as only a settin ' hen growls . I totally removed the tote and she promptly flew up to the nest and settled down on it , feathers all puffed out , as though she were setting on eggs ( there weren 't any eggs there ) . She was still wanting to hatch some babies ! I don 't recall my mom 's method of breaking up a settin ' hen ever failing , so I took to the Internet to see if I could find out what I had done wrong . I found my answer in THIS ARTICLE . When you cover the hen up , she shouldn 't have any bedding beneath her . That feels like a nest , and she just goes ahead setting ; the chicken - house floor is covered in wood chips . Well , I hate to put the old gal in isolation for another three days , with no food and water . The poor idiotic thing might starve to death ! But as I read the article , I came across this : Sometimes by taking her off the nest and dunking her lower half ( underside ) into a bucket of cool water until her feathers are wet can put her off . This could be a distraction for her as her instinct is now to dry herself off and preen her feathers by which time she may head straight back to the nest , or may have forgotten about the nest . Hey , it couldn 't hurt to try ! I got a bucket of cold water and headed to the hen house . I don 't do things halfway , so I not only dipped her underside into the water . . . I dipped her clear up to her neck , and then tossed her in with the others . She was still making settin - hen clucks , but instead of going to the nest , she went to the feeder and started devouring chicken feed . I came to the house and told Cliff what I had done , then went to check on her again . By this time she was on the edge of a nest , cackling her head off , but NOT sitting on the nest . I decided maybe she needed another baptizing , just to convince her . So once again I dunked her and returned here to write this blog entry . She was sitting on the nest . Obviously the double - baptizing didn 't take . So , per the instructions in the article , she is now in a cage in a shed with NO soft bedding beneath her . She 's bedraggled from her religious experience , but she 'll survive . Let 's hope she isn 't too traumatized by all of this . There 's a quote from the movie " A Christmas Story " that I often think of when Cora is here . Grown - up Ralphie is talking about his little brother , Randy , and says , " Every family has a kid who won 't eat . My kid brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years . " The toddler I babysit grows like crazy , so she obviously gets some nourishment somewhere , but the amount of food she eats at my house wouldn 't sustain a sparrow ; Nevertheless , at mealtime I dutifully give her a tiny portion of whatever we are having and hope for the best , taking satisfaction in the fact that she at least drinks the milk I pasteurize for her . I keep a plastic toddler plate here for her that 's divided into three sections . The other day we had potato patties , green beans , meat loaf , and applesauce . I put a couple of bites of each in her plate . She actually ate about two bites of potato patty and one taste of applesauce . Then she proceeded to spoon applesauce from one section of her plate to another . After moving a couple teaspoonfuls of applesauce to a new section , she got a bite of potato on her fork and dipped it into her applesauce : " Dip ! " she said victoriously , and proceeded , again and again , to dip pieces of potato patty into the applesauce , never once taking a bite , but smiling and saying " Dip ! " with each bite . She was very happy and proud to be dipping ! Things like this always make me curious about how her little mind is working . Did she learn to dip some sort of food at Grandma 's house in Iowa ? Have her parents been having chips and dip occasionally ? But why would she decide that potato patties need to be dipped in applesauce ? And why wouldn 't she at least taste it after dipping ? Kids . Who knows why they do what they do ? This morning when I went out for chores , it was quiet and peaceful , as usual . When I was done tending to cows and calves , though , and headed out of the barn toward the house , I heard a hen cackling frantically . At six in the morning , it 's never good news when you hear a chicken sounding the alarm . The three hens and rooster in the main chicken house had to be safe , because ever since we saw signs of something trying to dig into their pen I have shut them up inside the chicken house at night . So I was pretty sure Mama Hen had to be the source of the noise , and looked toward her little house . Sure enough , she was frantically walking around her little pen cackling for all she was worth , and the feeder and waterer had been tipped over . I set the milk bucket down in the driveway and hurried over there to see what had happened . There wasn 't a baby chick in sight ; I could see Mama Hen had put up a good fight with whatever had invaded her space , because she lost a lot of feathers in the process . I opened the side door to the little house they sleep in and at first saw nothing , but then up against the wall I saw a couple of chicks flattened against the floor not moving a muscle . That 's what chicks do when they are frightened : They flatten against the floor or ground and stay still ; later I found the rest of them actually burrowed under their straw bedding . After I took my milk inside , I went back to see what could have gotten in . The critter left some poop behind . Cliff and I are guessing a raccoon , but could be a possum . Perhaps we have been falsely accusing that fox we were trying to trap . Oh well , we 've caught three raccoons now , so if perhaps our efforts at trapping haven 't been for nothing . There were dig marks on all sides of the pen and house . This is where he tunneled in . Now , what perplexed us was the fact that this tunnel wasn 't really deep enough to let a raccoon in . Then Cliff pointed out that a big raccoon could start squeezing under and the house would lift up . That has to be what happened , because all the evidence points to a raccoon or a possum . I now have nine chicks instead of eleven . I knew I had to figure out something to prevent this from happening again , because the varmint has had a taste of fresh chicken and there 's no doubt in my mind he will return tonight . Finally I came up with the idea of putting some wooden pallet - covers underneath the whole outside pen ; there 's a floor in the house , so it 's dig - proof already . I thought perhaps we could secure the bottom to the wood somehow so that nothing could dig in . Cliff , though , had a better idea . He drove a couple of steel posts between the two pallets and put a wire across the top of the pen , tightening it well . That door you see at the front of the pen will have to be wired shut , because if you are familiar with raccoons , you know that their little " hands " could easily turn that latch and open the door . The side door you see the toddler fiddling with will also have to be secured , as well as the nest box door on the back of the house ; both of those have a simple hook latch that a raccoon could unhook . If you think I 'm giving raccoons too much credit for intelligence , you 've never gone camping in a Missouri state park and left your cooler outside overnight . Mama Hen loves to scratch on the ground and call her chickens over to eat the bugs she finds , but she 's going to have to settle for living on a board for awhile . I will probably start turning them out in the evenings before too long , and then they can make up for lost time . Well , I 'm a pathetic gardener now . I planted a short row of lettuce , and one of spinach , early in the season . I went out to harv . . . |
Hey , Y ' all , I know it doesn 't seem possible , but half of 2009 has gone by the wayside , and we are getting ready to go through the second half . What a six months it has been for me . . . I am trusting the second half will be an improvement over the first . Gramps and I have not been able to travel at all this year , but it has not been all bad , you know . I believe the second half can only improve , don 't you ? I did get to spend some quality time with Carol and Teresa . And I thank God for that . I decided this morning to drive into Jefferson City and get a haircut , and it does look better . Then I went to the grocery store to get a few things . I took in the wrong billfold , and after writing a check , I had to leave my groceries and trek out to the car for my other one so I could have an ID to show the girl at the checkout counter . I was not feeling great , and had to go slowly to get my ID . By the time I got back in they were checking someone else out and I had to wait for my buggy . I also saw that they had put most of the stuff in one bag ( too heavy for me to lift ) , so when I got out to the car , I had to do some switching into the other bag . Whine . . . . And it was hot . . . . whine . . . and I was weak . . . whine . . . ha ha . I finally got the stuff transferred equally and crawled into my car , rolled down the windows and drove home . I am still not sleeping well , but I am trusting that will improve sometime in the future . YES ! I have a slight cough that seems to be connected with the surgery and is just enough to be annoying . This morning after my shower , I put away some more of my stuff that I brought back from Teresa 's . Some of it , I have to figure out where to put it . Last night I folded and put away laundry that I had done . Laurie , Olivia , and Gabe came down this morning and helped me water my flowers in the yard and on the porch . Thanks to them , the flowers have survived my absence , and I am most grateful ! Allie is coming over after while . . . she just called to see if I needed any thing . She is just going to visit for awhile . It is always good tGrammy Hey , Y ' all , As I sit here in my computer chair , I am feeling a little shaky still , and a lot sore . My sleeping at night is still kind of discombobulated ( good word ? ) . I wake up sometimes in pain , and have to move my sleeping area . Last evening , I decided I would go to sleep in my bed . So I slept pretty well until sometime in the wee morning hours when I awakened hurting , so after a trip to the bathroom , I went into the living room and lay down on the couch , where I slept peacefully until 8 a . m . I arose at 8 a . m . and took one of my morning meds , wrote some checks for bills due , and took them down to the mailbox . I came back and decided to make some breakfast , which consisted of a scrambled egg and two pieces of raisin bread toast , plus a cup of hot tea . I could only eat the egg and one piece of the bread , plus about half the cup of tea . Yesterday , I had visits from my neighbors , Laurie and Olivia , Mark and Allie and their granddaughter , Kyah , and Gene and Judy . It was lovely to see them all . Laurie and Olivia came and helped me with the laundry , and put it away for me . I must get busy today and at least put away some things that are still in my living room , that I brought home from Teresa 's . I am still quite shaky on my pins , but am hoping to begin to feel stronger soon . My appetite is still on the wane , and I am having to force myself to eat . I need to see my family doctor about something that would help that . If I can get up the energy to go , that is . ha . I continue to talk to Gramps each evening and I know he looks forward to our chats as much as I do . He is a dear and the people up there really like him . To know him is to love him . Well , not much shaking here right now . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for now . More later . Love to each of you . Bye for now . Hey , Y ' all , Little did I dream when I left my little home here in New Market almost 4 weeks ago , that I would be away and so sick for so long . Were it not for the prayers and kind help of so many people , I truly believe I would not be here now , but probably six feet under in my resting place . I know now it was not yet meant to be . God is Good , isn 't He ? I am so blessed and so thankful ! Two weeks under the care of my daughter , Teresa , certainly had no little part in my recovery . Her sweetie pie husband , Tom , brought me the four and a half hour drive from Madison , Alabama yesterday morning , and then he turned around after chatting with my neighbors , Scott and Laurie and did his return trip to his home . Needless to say , I was quite exhausted , but knew I had to go a few places before I could sit down to rest . I got into my little red car , and headed to the post office to rescind my request to have my mail forwarded to Teresa and Tom 's and got there just at the right time to stop the process . Then I headed on up to have a bite of food ( or two ) and then to the grocery store to pick up some items . When I got back home , Scott carried in the groceries and put them away for me , with the promise that Laurie would be down later with Olivia to clean out the old stuff from my fridge . I then proceeded into the bedroom where I changed into my gown and crawled into bed for a rest . I don 't think I went to sleep , but I did rest . I called a few people to let them know I was back , then I got up and began the task of putting some of the things away that I brought home with me . What a chore ! It is still unfinished this morning , but I will " get a round tuit " . ha . Laurie and Olivia came down around 7 p . m . and cleaned the fridge , put away clean dishes and did what was in the sink . I called Gramps at around 8 p . m . and he told me he had skipped supper because he was afraid he would miss my call . I told him that I always call long after supper is over , and please not to skip supper anymore . I told him if I missed him , I would always call until IGrammy Hey , Y ' all , Well we traveled into Vanderbilt this morning ( great driving , Teresa ) and found our way to the Clinic where we had an 11 a . m . appointment to see Dr . Wright , the surgeon who performed the corrective surgery . The cute Fiona who was one of the medical students who came around doing rounds with the doctor was the one who did the actual removal of the staples . Everyone had been saying , " Oh , you will feel so much better with those staples out " and I had been hoping so . It does feel better , but believe me , the incision is still there and reminds me when I move . ha . I am hoping I will be sleeping better . It was 3 p . m . when we got back to Athens , AL near where Teresa lives , so we decided that we really needed to eat a late lunch / early supper , so we stopped at Applebee 's and had a veggie patch pizza , which is mostly thin crust topped with spinach , chopped tomatoes and mozzarella cheese . I had only half of mine and will be having the rest for supper before I go to bed . We went to Walgreens and picked up the medication that I needed filled , and then we were so wiped out , we came on home and I took a rest in bed for about an hour . After I talk to Gramps I am going to be finishing my v . p . pizza and settling down to watch a movie . The doctor told me I can drive when I wish or feel like it , so I guess he considers me just about recuperated . I will probably be going home soon , but will finish my recuperation by myself and then getting Gramps after his month 's stay is up at the Assisted Living Facility . I don 't quite feel up to bringing him home until that time . Hopefully no one will spill the beans to him until I am ready to care for him after the next two weeks . My energy level is not what I want it to be yet . Well , that is about all for today from Blabbin ' Grammy . More tomorrow . Much love to all of you . Bye for now . Hey , Y ' all , LIfe goes kind of slowly here as I continue to recover . My day begins at 6 a . m . with arising and heading for a shower . My first day here , Teresa assisted me with a shower , but I discovered I could pretty well do it alone , so I do . Breakfast is usually around 7 or so , after a walk around the perimeter of the yard , and then after breakfast , I go out onto the patio and read awhile . This morning , I took about a 30 minute rest in bed about 10 a . m . That is one nice thing about being here , if I get tired , I can just take a rest in bed . I had a little snack around 11 a . m . and will probably have some left over chicken wings parmesan around 1 . p . m . Teresa makes killer parmesan chicken wings . Yum . We had them for supper a couple of nights ago . Tomorrow , we will be leaving here around 9 a . m . or maybe a little earlier to go to the surgeon who did hte last surgery at Vanderbilt and he hepeully will remove the last drainage tube and the staples that are presently decorating my belly . Thank God ! I don 't yet have my full energy back and don 't know how long that will take , but I am slowly getting there , I believe . I feel like my get up and go has got up and gone . Ha . I just thank God ( and Teresa 's care . plus prayers of good people ) for my continuing recovery . I talk to Gramps each evening around 8 pm . his time , and kind of get a feel for how his day went . I thank his nieces and Mark and Allie for all they have done to help him settle in at the Assisted Living Facility , and also the staff that work there . Well , this is Blabbin ' Grammy sigting off for today . Not much else to blab about today . Hope you all have a great day and restful night . Much love to all of you . Bye for now . Posted by Hey , Y ' all , A difficult part of this whole process is being away from my Sweetie Pie for so long . I know he is missing me as well . This is the longest we have ever been away from one another in our married life . We were away from each other when Hurricane Ivan swept through Florida in 2004 . I was in the hospital for two weeks and they ( Gramps , Tom and Teresa ) had to take off for Georgia when Ivan hit ) . Today is Father 's Day , and Gramps is in assisted living and I am here in Terese 's ' assisted living ' . We are both being well taken care of and are old enough to know that someitmes , you just gotta go with the flow . I worte him a letter this morning ( the first I can remember writing to him , ever ) and I know he will be pleased to get it . I enclosed a copy of the picture that heads up my blog posting today . Teresa took the picture yesterday to record my progress visually . It was the first time I had anything on other than a gown during the day for the past 3 weeks . It was good to get into daytime wear again . Getting ready for church on Sunday morning has always been a big deal with Gramps on Saturday evening . He always gets his clothes laid out on Saturday evening in preparation for Sunday . I called him last evening at the usual time of his 8 p . m . and he told me he had taken a shower and that there was water in the bathroom floor . I asked him if he had paged for them to get the water up out of the floor and he said he didn 't know where the pager button that he is supposed to wear around his neck was . He had apparently taken it off to shower . As you may know , he was not supposed to take a shower unassisted . I told him to be sure his socks were dry and go ahead and finish getting ready for bed and I would call the desk and get help for him to get the floor dried . I called the desk and finally got through and they said , " Oh , dear " but said they would take care of it . I hope they emphasized to him that he was not to take the " button " from around his neck . Just one of those things about adjusting to life in assisted living . I Posted by Hey , Y ' all , It seems that I am finally feeling like I am on the mend . I know it has only been a week and 3 days since the last surgery , and although recovery seems slow , it is taking place . Sleeping at night presents the most difficulty , but I know after the staples are removed , I should be able to be more comfortable at night . It seems like I have twice as much belly as I did before the first gall bladder surgery on june 2nd . Each morning I arise at 6 a . m , take a shower , and get dressed for the day ( fresh gown ) and then put on my summery housecoat . Then I go out to the back patio and sit enjoying the fresh morning air , and the sound of the birds . I take a tour of the yard by walking its perimeter . By 7 a . m . I am ready for my breakfast and come in to eat . After breakfast , I am ready to check my e - mails and maybe play a little on the computer . Not long after , I go back out to the patio and rock and enjoy the rest of the morning . Sometimes , I sit out there and read . I also take another walk around the yerd . Mid - morning , I have a little snack of banana and peanut butter ( for protein and potassium ) . Sometime during the late morning , I go online and do my blogging . ( It is that time now ) . Later , I have lunch and then rest a while and maybe watch a movie . So goes the day . After supper , I give Gramps a call to see how he is doing and how his day has gone . I am posting a picture of myself on Teresa 's patio , and also of her gazebo , where I take a rest when I am midway through my walk around her yard . The pic of the gazebo will give you some idea of the size of the yard perhaps . To see the gazebo up close , click on the pic and it should enlarge for you . Tom and Teresa built the gazebo last summer and Tom built the observatory to the right of it last summer . Well , it is time for me to close out for today . My staples are becoming uncomfortable sitting here , so I am heading for my rocker on the back patio . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Much love to each of you . Bye for now . More tomorrow . Posted by Hey , Y ' all , Just a bit of flotsam and jetsam this morning . I know some of you may be wondering about Gramps and how he is getting along . On Tuesday of this week , Mark and Allie took him up to the Assisted Living Facility in Morristown where he will be staying for the next four weeks until I can return to New Market . I had been preparing him for the change of his living status for several days before Tuesday . He got up early ( 4 a . m . ) , went into Mark and Allie 's bedroom , flipped on their light and said , " Well , I ; m ready to get this show on the road ! " . Mark told him that they would be getting up later and that he should just go back to bed , so he did . Then he slept until about 10 a , m . Bless his heart . I have talked to him every day as much as I could , since I left him with Mark and Allie on June 2 . He hss weathered the changes pretty well . He seems to be adjusting to the stay at Terrace Estates . I call him every day to talk to him and his nieces check on him every day . Right now I am trying to get him a telephone installed in his room so that I can talk to him easier and others can call him as well . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I had a really great surgical team at Vanderbilt , and have posted a picture of those who did rounds each day while I was there . I apologize for the quality of the photo , but it was taken with my camera phone . I don 't have a picture downloaded yet of the surgeon who did the operation , but will get that a little later and post it . The home heslth care evaluator came by yesterday , and checked me out . He seemed to think that I am doing well without any home health care and told me that for the first time ever , he was recommending a patient did not need home health care . He thought I was doing very well for someone who had had surgery like I have . So that was good news for me . It seems they are sending a nurse out today anyway to check it out . Teresa is taking good care of me here , and could be a slave driver . . . pushes me to walk around , rest , do my breathiPosted by Hey , Y ' all , Mornings come slowly when one is ill , don 't they ? It seems the nights go on forever , because of where the staples are placed across my upper section of belly and the soreness in my body . It is difficult to really get comfortable at night ( whine , whine ) , but I am still trying . Teresa has a large television on the dresser in my room , where I can watch videos . Getting in and out of bed proves a little difficult , but quite managable and I do have to get up a few times at night . I was up a little before 6 a . m . this morning and took my shower , got dressed and went out onto the back patio . The patio is a wonderful place to sit and enjoy the day . Birds are singing , breeze is blowing , and it is a great place to reflect on God 's wonderful grace and loving tenderness toward us . I feel so loved to be here and to be taken such good care of by Teresa and Tom . I also feel so blessed that I have come through the major surgeries so well . I have a long way to go yet , but God willing , I will get there . I still have some major edema in my ankles , but I am getting some advice on that . I should be getting some help from my cardiologist soon and from my family doctor back home . I still have a call or two to make on that . I can 't sit for too long at a time , and will soon have pictures to post of my surgical team at Vanderbilt , as soon as Teresa can help me do that . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Much love to all of you . Bye for now . More tomorrow . Posted by Hey , Y ' all , Well , we were settled pretty good here at Teresa 's on Saturday , and then I spiked a fever of about 100 degrees and so , Teresa called the tenth floor at Vanderbilt Hospital where I had been and they told her at the desk that if my fever was 100 . 1 or more to go to the local hospital 's ER and have them check it out . So on Sunday morning , here we went and spent quite a long time being checked out ( x - rays , blood drawn , EKG , etc . ) and were finally told that they could not treat me since I had just been released from VHospital . So , off we went via medical transport for an hour and a half ride . They had told me at the local hospital that it looked from the x - rays that I could possibly have a section of dead bowel . ( Not a very encouraging thing to hear , you understand ) . Needless to say , they were surprised at Vanderbilt to see me again . They told me that there was no problem , they checked the x - rays , and suggested that I send the information provided from the local hospital about my heart on to my cardiologist , and ask him if he wanted me to change any of my medications based on the information provided . It seems they are concerned with a bloxkage in my left brachial branch of my heart . It could be that this condition is not new and is preexisting for several years . We are back home and happy to be here . I have a lot of work to do on my recovery and I intend to do my best to get back into good shape in the next month . A home health care nurse comes tomorrow to check on me and see what therapy I need . We saw a lot of interesting characters at the local hospital yesterday morning , whom I may describe later on . In the meantime , I won 't be doing a lot of blogging until I am feeling a little better . In the meantime , thank you for your continued prayers on our behalf . They are much valued . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Love to you all . Bye for now . Hey , Y ' all , We were dismissed from Vanderbilt University Hospital this morning and left about 11 : 00 a . m . Even though my experiences there were very good , no one likes to overstay their time in the hospital . I had some crackerjack doctors and nurses there , and I dare not mention names in case I leave someone out . They were all simply wonderful ! I am here for my time of recovery at daughter , Teresa 's , home and Tom 's of course . They fed me some lunch , well not literally , I fed myself - and then took off to do some shopping for my needs while I am here . I had thought I could write more than this , but my body is quite tired , and craving rest . So I will stop for now . I am blessed to have such wonderful daughters to care for me . Carol should be back soon in Texas , if not already , in the bosom of her family . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Much love to each of you . Bye for now Hey , Ya 'll ! Well , tomorrow I head south to my Sweet Home , Alabama with my daughter , Teresa , who has graciously taken on the task of caring for her little ' ole sweet mother over the next month . What a task . I do not envy her the job ! I appreciate Tom putting up with me for a whole month non - stop . This morning , I received the news that I can leave the hospital tomorrow . Since it had been two weeks since my hair had been washed , my very capable CP ( CareProvider ) , Harland , said he would wash my hair for me . What a wonderful experience it was ! Apparently he has done this procedure several times before , and we wound up having a lot of fun and spreading a lot of water around . ( See the picture above ) I actually had 2 meals today . I didn 't eat a lot of either one , but it was good to know that I was no longer on clear liquids . I got to go back outside today , but I didn 't use the wheel chair today . I used my walker , and went into the hall , got onto the elevator , went down to 2nd floor , and outside into the courtyard . I walked around to the tables outside McDonalds . . . yes , they do have a McDonald 's here . . . and we sat in the sunshine for about 15 minutes . The 85 degrees got a mite warm , and it wasn 't long before we moved over into the shade . No , I did not yeild to the temptation of anything from McDonald 's . We sat there for a while , watching the people pass by . People watching is a very interesting thing to do . You never know what you 're going to see , and sometimes you say , " Would you look at that ! " or , " Did you see that ? " A word about some nice visitors . I had two visitors this week . The first was my good friend Eric . He 's in Nashville attending a convention . I was sitting in a chair , drowsing off , when all at once I looked up and there stood Eric smiling at me . Carol was off getting some lunch . I greeted him and invited him to sit down , and it wasn 't long before I realized I had been nodding off again . Poor Eric ! I know he must have felt unappreciated after coming out of his way to visit with me ! He never complained . Instead he vGrammy Hey , Ya ' all ! The surgery was Tuesday , and was very successful , according to the doctor . I was out for it , so I 'll let Carol tell some of the Tales from the Waiting Room . . . . ' Tom , Teresa , ( SO glad they came up to hang out with me . . . it made the wait much better ! ) and I were sent to the first floor waiting room , since the comfy second floor was being cleaned . We checked in with the desk lady , and were given a beeper so that we could go outside and around the grounds while we waited . The beeper was like one that you get at a nice restaurant . Cool , we thought . So we proceeded to go get lunch at the on - premesis McDonalds , and then went to the second floor waiting room , where there were comfy chairs and lower light and fewer people . Knowing that we held the beeper , we were comfortable not being downstairs . Besides , the 2nd floor was open , and was just a balcony over the first floor . We could hear them call our name , we thought . Oh well , or we 'd see the beeper go off . . . which we held in one of our hot little hands constantly . We were wrong . We finally went down to the first floor and checked with the lady and seems she had called our name when the doctor asked to see us . Since we didn 't show up , we didn 't get the nice conversation in a private room with the surgeon . Confused , we asked the lady why our beeper didn 't go off . ( the beeper that assures us that we will be paged , so go ahead and roam around and stretch our legs . ) The lady replied , " Well , they don 't always work , so we don 't bother to set them off . " AUGH ! ! ! ! ! At that point , we asked her to page the doctor , and I sat right in front of her until we got word back . . . I let her know I wasn 't leaving the area so we didn 't miss the page . This cracked up Tom and Teresa , and they sent me all sorts of funny text messages . The good news was , the surgery went well , and Teresa did get to talk to the doctor by phone . He was defensive of the lady right away , saying he heard the page , but I don 't think the lady told him she didn 't set off the pager , and we didn 't want to make a very goPosted by Hey , ya 'll . Monday night at 9 pm Eastern Time , I was put on a gurney owned by Rural Metro Ambulance Delivery service , and met Dylan and Keith . Dylan was the driver , with whom Carol rode shotgun , and Keith was the attendant . Keith and I had a really good opportunity to get acquainted . Both he and Dylan are charming , delightful young men . I was especially impressed by Dylan 's tatts . He was really proud of his medical insignia tattoo , which meant a lot to him . Carol sat up in the front seat with Dylan , and Keith rode with me in the back . There is a narrow bench on the right side of the van , so since I rode backward on the gurney , Keith was on my left . When they lifted me into the van , the gurney was locked into place by doohickeys on the floor , so I was very stationary . It was thrilling to sit on the gurney . My back was propped up and I was able to watch the moon out the back windows of the van . It was full and almost as orange as I . Keith told me that he was from Union county , and I said , " Hey ! That 's where my sister - in - law Mae came from . She grew up in Union County . " I told him her maiden name , and he said he knew some people by that name , and when I named her brothers and sisters , he didn 't seem to know of any of them . When I told him that her father had been a constable , he didn 't know the name . ( guess he wasn 't around any more when Keith was born ! ) We stopped about 40 minutes out of Nashville for a potty break and you should have seen me getting out of the metro van . The grids on the fender were rough , and I only had on no - slip socks . As soon as they realized it , two number 15 shoes immediately were put on the fender , and I was told to " Just step on our feet . " How very gallant ! Carol said I looked like a princess holding court . In another 40 minutes we were pulling into the emergency bay of Vanderbilt Medical Center . the back door opened , and I was quickly lifted down by two strong young men . They had been given information that I was supposed to be on the 8th floor , but when we got to that room , there was a sign oPosted by Hey , Ya ' all . I awoke early this morning to hopes of making it home by tomorrow . But alas , it 's not to be . They did the endoscope test , to see if they could discover the problem with the bile duct . After a short procedure , it was determined that I needed bile duct reconstruction , which means another major surgery . That wasn 't exactly music to these old ears , but it does give me hope that these old ears may be hearin ' for a while longer . And I thought , " What a marvelous gift , if I 'm given more time to let others know how Good our God is . " All praises to Him . I know that He 's been with me throughout this whole procedure , because when one solid wall is hit , He provides another way . I met some really interesting people this morning down in the GI lab . Now , for those of you who may not know , GI here does not mean Government Issue , but Gastro - Intestinal . I also discovered by talking to the delivery man , who delivered me from my room to the GI lab , that he will soon be taking his EMT test and become an emergency medical technician . He told me he 'd learned a whole lot about taking care of people in all kinds of situations here . I believe that he 'll be a really good EMT because of the compassion he shows for others . I met one of the RN 's down there , who told me her name was " Susan By the Way " , and I said , " Well , I 'm glad to know you Mrs . By the Way . " ( ala the Clampetts ) . Dr Miller , who did the procedure this morning , was a very personable and skilled physician , ( it was a pleasure to meet Dr . Miller ) . He and Dr . Garber discussed my condition , and determined it would be to my advantage to go to Vanderbilt Medical Center to have this reconstruction done . Right now , I 'm just waiting to hear when we 'll be going . They 're trying to arrange transport and a room for today , and hopefully do the surgery tomorrow . Another of the RN 's down there was telling me about her son , who is in an upcoming production of " Kiss Me kate " . He 's a senior in High School , and is concerned about having to wear boxers in one of the scenes . I told her to Grammy Hey , ya 'll . This is Grammy speakin ' from her hospital room where I just realized that in the last post I failed to answer the question , " Where is Gramps ? Well , the fact is , he has been living in the Big House in the Lap of Luxury with Mark and Allie . They have been giving him the best of care , treating him like the King he is ! He has his own little sunroom to watch TV in , he has a path from his bedroom to his bathroom to his TV screening room , to the kitchen , and to the screened - in back porch where he can watch the animals frolic in the woods ( if they should choose to come out ) . ( I think he said a racoon came out and tipped his hat to him the other day , and told him to watch out for the bears . ) I talked to him yesterday , and he told me they were treating him really good , but when was I getting better and coming home ? Mark and Allie 's daughter , Rachel , sometimes comes and spends part of the day with him , and she tells me they have a really good time . I really appreciate Mark and Allie taking such good of Gramps . They do it from a sense of love , not duty . . . . how blessed we both are ! It has been wonderful to have Carol here with me , looking out for me , and spending time with me . I continue to thank you all for your love and your prayers on our behalf . It was good to talk to my grandson , Daniel ( Whitney was around , too ) today , and had the pleasure of hearing my Illinois great grandchildren talking . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for the second time today . I 'll talk to you after the procedure tomorrow . Bye for now ! Hey , ya 'll ! I feel like I look , like a butternut squash . At least , that 's what people tell me . I tried to claim it was just the coppery skin of my Cherokee ancestors , but no go . I 've seen 2 doctors this morning . Neither one with what I would call great news , but I believe they really are trying to cure me and not kill me . Operative word , not trying . Everyone here is really , really nice , and could not be kinder . I am drinking so many liquids I 'm positively bilious ( of , or pertaining to , bile ) . I had a fairly restful night . Carol , the " Buzzsaw " , went home with Imazo , and we both got a pretty good night 's sleep , but I am not sure about Imazo . ( Ha , ha ! ) I discovered that if I left my TV on , and left the sound off , then I didn 't have all these weird images in my mind while I was trying to sleep . When I 'd hear the words , then it would wake me up because it had something to do with the whole sound thing . It 's difficult to explain . . . . like I was hallucinating . I arose from my bed several times during the night , unplugged my totem pole , and was getting rid of the water I had drunk during the evening , and also what is in the IV bag . I have a procedure to go through tomorrow , and could possibly get to go home before the evening , depending on how it turns out . And , may possibly come back in 4 - 5 weeks for another procedure to remove a stent that they may put in tomorrow . I know that all sounds iffy , but I won 't know until tomorrow . I enjoyed my visit outside yesterday . It was good to have a little " Fun in the sun " and the fresh air felt good . I think I 'll go back out again today . Carol took this picture this morning that 's posted at the top of the blog . You can copy it and use it to decorate your place this Halloween , with the orange pumpkin - color of my skin . You can see I 'm getting up to speed , because I have my book in my hand ! Carol brought me a beautiful begonia ( something she isn 't allergic to ) and put it in my window beside the roses Imazo brought . It 's nice to have flowers to brighten up a hospital room . Much love to all of Posted by Hey , Y ' all , This is Grammy Eeyore coming atcha from my hospital room following major surgery and wishing it hadn 't had to be done . It was supposed to be just a typical gall bladder removal , but that just didn 't happen . I suppose i am feeling better and looking better . At least that is what they tell me . Ohhhhhhhhh Well . In case you can 't tell , I am a little down , but not quite out yet . I sup - pose it will get better . They had me on morphine for awhile , and things were kind of woozy and pleasant with no worries . I asked them not to use it anymore , because I want to be awake for everything that is going on , and get some feeling back in the places where it needs to be . Speaking of sleeping , I haven 't been sleeping much either . OH , well . Carol got here yesterday and it is really wonderful to have her here with me , She also brought her computer with her and I am using it to do my blog today . I am hoping to get the foley tube out today and have been using a machine to help increase my lung power so I can holler at people when I get out of here . ha . I have started walking around in the hospital a little bit . Carol is going to take me outside for awhile today in a wheel chair . Hope it won 't be too hot . Oh , well . I have been having clear liquids for all three meals . It seems like citrussy lemon is the only flavor they know , along with a putrid thing known as chicken bouillon . Gag ! It seems that they are keeping me here over the weekend so they can run another test . If they could just give me a pencil and paper , I could take just about any test they gave me and do fairly well on il . But no soap , wroong kind of test . I am hoping to go home on Tuesday , Maybe , maybe not . Oh well . See you later , I hope . Hey , Y ' all , Well , tomorrow is G - Day ( Gall bladder coming out day ) and today was a busy day . I was up at 6 a . m . and peeled some apples and made an apple pie for supper tonight . I left the house at a little before 9 a . m . , carried the trash off to the New Market Dumpsters , and headed on into Knoxville to do my preregistering for my surgery tomorrow . After that was finished , I headed back home and stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items for supper and for the days ahead . My daughter , Carol , had planned on coming to spend some time helping me out , but she is not recovered yet from her illness , and her husband , Daryl , caught her infection and needed her at home , so she will not be here . I told her please not to come , because she is needed more there than here . My sister - in - law , Imazo , has offered to come and help me for a few days , so I am going to take her up on it . I really appreciate her offer . Ladies at the church will be supplying our supper for several days , and we appreciate that as well . My friend , Mark , will be taking me to the hospital and bringing me home afterwards , and our neighbors will be checking on us as well . We are so very blessed to have so many good friends ! We love them all so very much . I made some baked chicken strips for a salad topping tonight and we had large salads of hearts of romaine lettuce , with cucumber slices , radishes , dried cranberries and raisins , carrots , green peppers , mushrooms , feta cheese along with the chicken strips . For dessert we had the apple pie topped with sugar free ice cream . Gramps just finished up the last piece of apple pie . After supper we played some card games , which was a lot of fun . Now it is close to 9 p . m . and it probably won 't be long before bedtime . I have to be up at 5 a . m . so I can be ready to leave at 6 a . m . and be at the hospital at 7 a . m . The surgery is scheduled for 8 : 30 a . m . The nurse told me that they may keep me until Wednesday since I am a heart patient . We shall see . Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers . I really appreciate it . TGrammy Blogs are so much fun ! If you enjoy a blog entry , and would like to leave a comment , notice that at the bottom of each blog entry is are the words , " 0 comments " or " 2 comments " , reflecting how many comments people have made . Sometimes people comment on the entry , sometimes they even comment on each other 's comments ! Some polite rules for comments are no unkind words , say nice or humorous things or refrain from commenting , no profanity ( which I wouldn 't expect out of my friends , anyway ! ) , and don 't use other people 's last names , because some folks don 't like their names made public . To comment , just click on the " 0 comments " line , and it will take you to a place to comment . Write your comment in the space they provide . Then you have to " log in " . If you don 't have a google account , just click on the link to getting an account . It 's free . . . . will not cost you anything at all . After you write your comment and sign in , say , " Publish your comment " , and you 've blogged ! Enjoy ! |
Hey , Y ' all , I know it doesn 't seem possible , but half of 2009 has gone by the wayside , and we are getting ready to go through the second half . What a six months it has been for me . . . I am trusting the second half will be an improvement over the first . Gramps and I have not been able to travel at all this year , but it has not been all bad , you know . I believe the second half can only improve , don 't you ? I did get to spend some quality time with Carol and Teresa . And I thank God for that . I decided this morning to drive into Jefferson City and get a haircut , and it does look better . Then I went to the grocery store to get a few things . I took in the wrong billfold , and after writing a check , I had to leave my groceries and trek out to the car for my other one so I could have an ID to show the girl at the checkout counter . I was not feeling great , and had to go slowly to get my ID . By the time I got back in they were checking someone else out and I had to wait for my buggy . I also saw that they had put most of the stuff in one bag ( too heavy for me to lift ) , so when I got out to the car , I had to do some switching into the other bag . Whine . . . . And it was hot . . . . whine . . . and I was weak . . . whine . . . ha ha . I finally got the stuff transferred equally and crawled into my car , rolled down the windows and drove home . I am still not sleeping well , but I am trusting that will improve sometime in the future . YES ! I have a slight cough that seems to be connected with the surgery and is just enough to be annoying . This morning after my shower , I put away some more of my stuff that I brought back from Teresa 's . Some of it , I have to figure out where to put it . Last night I folded and put away laundry that I had done . Laurie , Olivia , and Gabe came down this morning and helped me water my flowers in the yard and on the porch . Thanks to them , the flowers have survived my absence , and I am most grateful ! Allie is coming over after while . . . she just called to see if I needed any thing . She is just going to visit for awhile . It is always good tGrammy Hey , Y ' all , As I sit here in my computer chair , I am feeling a little shaky still , and a lot sore . My sleeping at night is still kind of discombobulated ( good word ? ) . I wake up sometimes in pain , and have to move my sleeping area . Last evening , I decided I would go to sleep in my bed . So I slept pretty well until sometime in the wee morning hours when I awakened hurting , so after a trip to the bathroom , I went into the living room and lay down on the couch , where I slept peacefully until 8 a . m . I arose at 8 a . m . and took one of my morning meds , wrote some checks for bills due , and took them down to the mailbox . I came back and decided to make some breakfast , which consisted of a scrambled egg and two pieces of raisin bread toast , plus a cup of hot tea . I could only eat the egg and one piece of the bread , plus about half the cup of tea . Yesterday , I had visits from my neighbors , Laurie and Olivia , Mark and Allie and their granddaughter , Kyah , and Gene and Judy . It was lovely to see them all . Laurie and Olivia came and helped me with the laundry , and put it away for me . I must get busy today and at least put away some things that are still in my living room , that I brought home from Teresa 's . I am still quite shaky on my pins , but am hoping to begin to feel stronger soon . My appetite is still on the wane , and I am having to force myself to eat . I need to see my family doctor about something that would help that . If I can get up the energy to go , that is . ha . I continue to talk to Gramps each evening and I know he looks forward to our chats as much as I do . He is a dear and the people up there really like him . To know him is to love him . Well , not much shaking here right now . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for now . More later . Love to each of you . Bye for now . Hey , Y ' all , Little did I dream when I left my little home here in New Market almost 4 weeks ago , that I would be away and so sick for so long . Were it not for the prayers and kind help of so many people , I truly believe I would not be here now , but probably six feet under in my resting place . I know now it was not yet meant to be . God is Good , isn 't He ? I am so blessed and so thankful ! Two weeks under the care of my daughter , Teresa , certainly had no little part in my recovery . Her sweetie pie husband , Tom , brought me the four and a half hour drive from Madison , Alabama yesterday morning , and then he turned around after chatting with my neighbors , Scott and Laurie and did his return trip to his home . Needless to say , I was quite exhausted , but knew I had to go a few places before I could sit down to rest . I got into my little red car , and headed to the post office to rescind my request to have my mail forwarded to Teresa and Tom 's and got there just at the right time to stop the process . Then I headed on up to have a bite of food ( or two ) and then to the grocery store to pick up some items . When I got back home , Scott carried in the groceries and put them away for me , with the promise that Laurie would be down later with Olivia to clean out the old stuff from my fridge . I then proceeded into the bedroom where I changed into my gown and crawled into bed for a rest . I don 't think I went to sleep , but I did rest . I called a few people to let them know I was back , then I got up and began the task of putting some of the things away that I brought home with me . What a chore ! It is still unfinished this morning , but I will " get a round tuit " . ha . Laurie and Olivia came down around 7 p . m . and cleaned the fridge , put away clean dishes and did what was in the sink . I called Gramps at around 8 p . m . and he told me he had skipped supper because he was afraid he would miss my call . I told him that I always call long after supper is over , and please not to skip supper anymore . I told him if I missed him , I would always call until IGrammy Hey , Y ' all , Well we traveled into Vanderbilt this morning ( great driving , Teresa ) and found our way to the Clinic where we had an 11 a . m . appointment to see Dr . Wright , the surgeon who performed the corrective surgery . The cute Fiona who was one of the medical students who came around doing rounds with the doctor was the one who did the actual removal of the staples . Everyone had been saying , " Oh , you will feel so much better with those staples out " and I had been hoping so . It does feel better , but believe me , the incision is still there and reminds me when I move . ha . I am hoping I will be sleeping better . It was 3 p . m . when we got back to Athens , AL near where Teresa lives , so we decided that we really needed to eat a late lunch / early supper , so we stopped at Applebee 's and had a veggie patch pizza , which is mostly thin crust topped with spinach , chopped tomatoes and mozzarella cheese . I had only half of mine and will be having the rest for supper before I go to bed . We went to Walgreens and picked up the medication that I needed filled , and then we were so wiped out , we came on home and I took a rest in bed for about an hour . After I talk to Gramps I am going to be finishing my v . p . pizza and settling down to watch a movie . The doctor told me I can drive when I wish or feel like it , so I guess he considers me just about recuperated . I will probably be going home soon , but will finish my recuperation by myself and then getting Gramps after his month 's stay is up at the Assisted Living Facility . I don 't quite feel up to bringing him home until that time . Hopefully no one will spill the beans to him until I am ready to care for him after the next two weeks . My energy level is not what I want it to be yet . Well , that is about all for today from Blabbin ' Grammy . More tomorrow . Much love to all of you . Bye for now . Hey , Y ' all , LIfe goes kind of slowly here as I continue to recover . My day begins at 6 a . m . with arising and heading for a shower . My first day here , Teresa assisted me with a shower , but I discovered I could pretty well do it alone , so I do . Breakfast is usually around 7 or so , after a walk around the perimeter of the yard , and then after breakfast , I go out onto the patio and read awhile . This morning , I took about a 30 minute rest in bed about 10 a . m . That is one nice thing about being here , if I get tired , I can just take a rest in bed . I had a little snack around 11 a . m . and will probably have some left over chicken wings parmesan around 1 . p . m . Teresa makes killer parmesan chicken wings . Yum . We had them for supper a couple of nights ago . Tomorrow , we will be leaving here around 9 a . m . or maybe a little earlier to go to the surgeon who did hte last surgery at Vanderbilt and he hepeully will remove the last drainage tube and the staples that are presently decorating my belly . Thank God ! I don 't yet have my full energy back and don 't know how long that will take , but I am slowly getting there , I believe . I feel like my get up and go has got up and gone . Ha . I just thank God ( and Teresa 's care . plus prayers of good people ) for my continuing recovery . I talk to Gramps each evening around 8 pm . his time , and kind of get a feel for how his day went . I thank his nieces and Mark and Allie for all they have done to help him settle in at the Assisted Living Facility , and also the staff that work there . Well , this is Blabbin ' Grammy sigting off for today . Not much else to blab about today . Hope you all have a great day and restful night . Much love to all of you . Bye for now . Posted by Hey , Y ' all , A difficult part of this whole process is being away from my Sweetie Pie for so long . I know he is missing me as well . This is the longest we have ever been away from one another in our married life . We were away from each other when Hurricane Ivan swept through Florida in 2004 . I was in the hospital for two weeks and they ( Gramps , Tom and Teresa ) had to take off for Georgia when Ivan hit ) . Today is Father 's Day , and Gramps is in assisted living and I am here in Terese 's ' assisted living ' . We are both being well taken care of and are old enough to know that someitmes , you just gotta go with the flow . I worte him a letter this morning ( the first I can remember writing to him , ever ) and I know he will be pleased to get it . I enclosed a copy of the picture that heads up my blog posting today . Teresa took the picture yesterday to record my progress visually . It was the first time I had anything on other than a gown during the day for the past 3 weeks . It was good to get into daytime wear again . Getting ready for church on Sunday morning has always been a big deal with Gramps on Saturday evening . He always gets his clothes laid out on Saturday evening in preparation for Sunday . I called him last evening at the usual time of his 8 p . m . and he told me he had taken a shower and that there was water in the bathroom floor . I asked him if he had paged for them to get the water up out of the floor and he said he didn 't know where the pager button that he is supposed to wear around his neck was . He had apparently taken it off to shower . As you may know , he was not supposed to take a shower unassisted . I told him to be sure his socks were dry and go ahead and finish getting ready for bed and I would call the desk and get help for him to get the floor dried . I called the desk and finally got through and they said , " Oh , dear " but said they would take care of it . I hope they emphasized to him that he was not to take the " button " from around his neck . Just one of those things about adjusting to life in assisted living . I Posted by Hey , Y ' all , It seems that I am finally feeling like I am on the mend . I know it has only been a week and 3 days since the last surgery , and although recovery seems slow , it is taking place . Sleeping at night presents the most difficulty , but I know after the staples are removed , I should be able to be more comfortable at night . It seems like I have twice as much belly as I did before the first gall bladder surgery on june 2nd . Each morning I arise at 6 a . m , take a shower , and get dressed for the day ( fresh gown ) and then put on my summery housecoat . Then I go out to the back patio and sit enjoying the fresh morning air , and the sound of the birds . I take a tour of the yard by walking its perimeter . By 7 a . m . I am ready for my breakfast and come in to eat . After breakfast , I am ready to check my e - mails and maybe play a little on the computer . Not long after , I go back out to the patio and rock and enjoy the rest of the morning . Sometimes , I sit out there and read . I also take another walk around the yerd . Mid - morning , I have a little snack of banana and peanut butter ( for protein and potassium ) . Sometime during the late morning , I go online and do my blogging . ( It is that time now ) . Later , I have lunch and then rest a while and maybe watch a movie . So goes the day . After supper , I give Gramps a call to see how he is doing and how his day has gone . I am posting a picture of myself on Teresa 's patio , and also of her gazebo , where I take a rest when I am midway through my walk around her yard . The pic of the gazebo will give you some idea of the size of the yard perhaps . To see the gazebo up close , click on the pic and it should enlarge for you . Tom and Teresa built the gazebo last summer and Tom built the observatory to the right of it last summer . Well , it is time for me to close out for today . My staples are becoming uncomfortable sitting here , so I am heading for my rocker on the back patio . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Much love to each of you . Bye for now . More tomorrow . Posted by Hey , Y ' all , Just a bit of flotsam and jetsam this morning . I know some of you may be wondering about Gramps and how he is getting along . On Tuesday of this week , Mark and Allie took him up to the Assisted Living Facility in Morristown where he will be staying for the next four weeks until I can return to New Market . I had been preparing him for the change of his living status for several days before Tuesday . He got up early ( 4 a . m . ) , went into Mark and Allie 's bedroom , flipped on their light and said , " Well , I ; m ready to get this show on the road ! " . Mark told him that they would be getting up later and that he should just go back to bed , so he did . Then he slept until about 10 a , m . Bless his heart . I have talked to him every day as much as I could , since I left him with Mark and Allie on June 2 . He hss weathered the changes pretty well . He seems to be adjusting to the stay at Terrace Estates . I call him every day to talk to him and his nieces check on him every day . Right now I am trying to get him a telephone installed in his room so that I can talk to him easier and others can call him as well . * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I had a really great surgical team at Vanderbilt , and have posted a picture of those who did rounds each day while I was there . I apologize for the quality of the photo , but it was taken with my camera phone . I don 't have a picture downloaded yet of the surgeon who did the operation , but will get that a little later and post it . The home heslth care evaluator came by yesterday , and checked me out . He seemed to think that I am doing well without any home health care and told me that for the first time ever , he was recommending a patient did not need home health care . He thought I was doing very well for someone who had had surgery like I have . So that was good news for me . It seems they are sending a nurse out today anyway to check it out . Teresa is taking good care of me here , and could be a slave driver . . . pushes me to walk around , rest , do my breathiPosted by Hey , Y ' all , Mornings come slowly when one is ill , don 't they ? It seems the nights go on forever , because of where the staples are placed across my upper section of belly and the soreness in my body . It is difficult to really get comfortable at night ( whine , whine ) , but I am still trying . Teresa has a large television on the dresser in my room , where I can watch videos . Getting in and out of bed proves a little difficult , but quite managable and I do have to get up a few times at night . I was up a little before 6 a . m . this morning and took my shower , got dressed and went out onto the back patio . The patio is a wonderful place to sit and enjoy the day . Birds are singing , breeze is blowing , and it is a great place to reflect on God 's wonderful grace and loving tenderness toward us . I feel so loved to be here and to be taken such good care of by Teresa and Tom . I also feel so blessed that I have come through the major surgeries so well . I have a long way to go yet , but God willing , I will get there . I still have some major edema in my ankles , but I am getting some advice on that . I should be getting some help from my cardiologist soon and from my family doctor back home . I still have a call or two to make on that . I can 't sit for too long at a time , and will soon have pictures to post of my surgical team at Vanderbilt , as soon as Teresa can help me do that . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Much love to all of you . Bye for now . More tomorrow . Posted by Hey , Y ' all , Well , we were settled pretty good here at Teresa 's on Saturday , and then I spiked a fever of about 100 degrees and so , Teresa called the tenth floor at Vanderbilt Hospital where I had been and they told her at the desk that if my fever was 100 . 1 or more to go to the local hospital 's ER and have them check it out . So on Sunday morning , here we went and spent quite a long time being checked out ( x - rays , blood drawn , EKG , etc . ) and were finally told that they could not treat me since I had just been released from VHospital . So , off we went via medical transport for an hour and a half ride . They had told me at the local hospital that it looked from the x - rays that I could possibly have a section of dead bowel . ( Not a very encouraging thing to hear , you understand ) . Needless to say , they were surprised at Vanderbilt to see me again . They told me that there was no problem , they checked the x - rays , and suggested that I send the information provided from the local hospital about my heart on to my cardiologist , and ask him if he wanted me to change any of my medications based on the information provided . It seems they are concerned with a bloxkage in my left brachial branch of my heart . It could be that this condition is not new and is preexisting for several years . We are back home and happy to be here . I have a lot of work to do on my recovery and I intend to do my best to get back into good shape in the next month . A home health care nurse comes tomorrow to check on me and see what therapy I need . We saw a lot of interesting characters at the local hospital yesterday morning , whom I may describe later on . In the meantime , I won 't be doing a lot of blogging until I am feeling a little better . In the meantime , thank you for your continued prayers on our behalf . They are much valued . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Love to you all . Bye for now . Hey , Y ' all , We were dismissed from Vanderbilt University Hospital this morning and left about 11 : 00 a . m . Even though my experiences there were very good , no one likes to overstay their time in the hospital . I had some crackerjack doctors and nurses there , and I dare not mention names in case I leave someone out . They were all simply wonderful ! I am here for my time of recovery at daughter , Teresa 's , home and Tom 's of course . They fed me some lunch , well not literally , I fed myself - and then took off to do some shopping for my needs while I am here . I had thought I could write more than this , but my body is quite tired , and craving rest . So I will stop for now . I am blessed to have such wonderful daughters to care for me . Carol should be back soon in Texas , if not already , in the bosom of her family . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for today . Much love to each of you . Bye for now Hey , Ya 'll ! Well , tomorrow I head south to my Sweet Home , Alabama with my daughter , Teresa , who has graciously taken on the task of caring for her little ' ole sweet mother over the next month . What a task . I do not envy her the job ! I appreciate Tom putting up with me for a whole month non - stop . This morning , I received the news that I can leave the hospital tomorrow . Since it had been two weeks since my hair had been washed , my very capable CP ( CareProvider ) , Harland , said he would wash my hair for me . What a wonderful experience it was ! Apparently he has done this procedure several times before , and we wound up having a lot of fun and spreading a lot of water around . ( See the picture above ) I actually had 2 meals today . I didn 't eat a lot of either one , but it was good to know that I was no longer on clear liquids . I got to go back outside today , but I didn 't use the wheel chair today . I used my walker , and went into the hall , got onto the elevator , went down to 2nd floor , and outside into the courtyard . I walked around to the tables outside McDonalds . . . yes , they do have a McDonald 's here . . . and we sat in the sunshine for about 15 minutes . The 85 degrees got a mite warm , and it wasn 't long before we moved over into the shade . No , I did not yeild to the temptation of anything from McDonald 's . We sat there for a while , watching the people pass by . People watching is a very interesting thing to do . You never know what you 're going to see , and sometimes you say , " Would you look at that ! " or , " Did you see that ? " A word about some nice visitors . I had two visitors this week . The first was my good friend Eric . He 's in Nashville attending a convention . I was sitting in a chair , drowsing off , when all at once I looked up and there stood Eric smiling at me . Carol was off getting some lunch . I greeted him and invited him to sit down , and it wasn 't long before I realized I had been nodding off again . Poor Eric ! I know he must have felt unappreciated after coming out of his way to visit with me ! He never complained . Instead he vGrammy Hey , Ya ' all ! The surgery was Tuesday , and was very successful , according to the doctor . I was out for it , so I 'll let Carol tell some of the Tales from the Waiting Room . . . . ' Tom , Teresa , ( SO glad they came up to hang out with me . . . it made the wait much better ! ) and I were sent to the first floor waiting room , since the comfy second floor was being cleaned . We checked in with the desk lady , and were given a beeper so that we could go outside and around the grounds while we waited . The beeper was like one that you get at a nice restaurant . Cool , we thought . So we proceeded to go get lunch at the on - premesis McDonalds , and then went to the second floor waiting room , where there were comfy chairs and lower light and fewer people . Knowing that we held the beeper , we were comfortable not being downstairs . Besides , the 2nd floor was open , and was just a balcony over the first floor . We could hear them call our name , we thought . Oh well , or we 'd see the beeper go off . . . which we held in one of our hot little hands constantly . We were wrong . We finally went down to the first floor and checked with the lady and seems she had called our name when the doctor asked to see us . Since we didn 't show up , we didn 't get the nice conversation in a private room with the surgeon . Confused , we asked the lady why our beeper didn 't go off . ( the beeper that assures us that we will be paged , so go ahead and roam around and stretch our legs . ) The lady replied , " Well , they don 't always work , so we don 't bother to set them off . " AUGH ! ! ! ! ! At that point , we asked her to page the doctor , and I sat right in front of her until we got word back . . . I let her know I wasn 't leaving the area so we didn 't miss the page . This cracked up Tom and Teresa , and they sent me all sorts of funny text messages . The good news was , the surgery went well , and Teresa did get to talk to the doctor by phone . He was defensive of the lady right away , saying he heard the page , but I don 't think the lady told him she didn 't set off the pager , and we didn 't want to make a very goPosted by Hey , ya 'll . Monday night at 9 pm Eastern Time , I was put on a gurney owned by Rural Metro Ambulance Delivery service , and met Dylan and Keith . Dylan was the driver , with whom Carol rode shotgun , and Keith was the attendant . Keith and I had a really good opportunity to get acquainted . Both he and Dylan are charming , delightful young men . I was especially impressed by Dylan 's tatts . He was really proud of his medical insignia tattoo , which meant a lot to him . Carol sat up in the front seat with Dylan , and Keith rode with me in the back . There is a narrow bench on the right side of the van , so since I rode backward on the gurney , Keith was on my left . When they lifted me into the van , the gurney was locked into place by doohickeys on the floor , so I was very stationary . It was thrilling to sit on the gurney . My back was propped up and I was able to watch the moon out the back windows of the van . It was full and almost as orange as I . Keith told me that he was from Union county , and I said , " Hey ! That 's where my sister - in - law Mae came from . She grew up in Union County . " I told him her maiden name , and he said he knew some people by that name , and when I named her brothers and sisters , he didn 't seem to know of any of them . When I told him that her father had been a constable , he didn 't know the name . ( guess he wasn 't around any more when Keith was born ! ) We stopped about 40 minutes out of Nashville for a potty break and you should have seen me getting out of the metro van . The grids on the fender were rough , and I only had on no - slip socks . As soon as they realized it , two number 15 shoes immediately were put on the fender , and I was told to " Just step on our feet . " How very gallant ! Carol said I looked like a princess holding court . In another 40 minutes we were pulling into the emergency bay of Vanderbilt Medical Center . the back door opened , and I was quickly lifted down by two strong young men . They had been given information that I was supposed to be on the 8th floor , but when we got to that room , there was a sign oPosted by Hey , Ya ' all . I awoke early this morning to hopes of making it home by tomorrow . But alas , it 's not to be . They did the endoscope test , to see if they could discover the problem with the bile duct . After a short procedure , it was determined that I needed bile duct reconstruction , which means another major surgery . That wasn 't exactly music to these old ears , but it does give me hope that these old ears may be hearin ' for a while longer . And I thought , " What a marvelous gift , if I 'm given more time to let others know how Good our God is . " All praises to Him . I know that He 's been with me throughout this whole procedure , because when one solid wall is hit , He provides another way . I met some really interesting people this morning down in the GI lab . Now , for those of you who may not know , GI here does not mean Government Issue , but Gastro - Intestinal . I also discovered by talking to the delivery man , who delivered me from my room to the GI lab , that he will soon be taking his EMT test and become an emergency medical technician . He told me he 'd learned a whole lot about taking care of people in all kinds of situations here . I believe that he 'll be a really good EMT because of the compassion he shows for others . I met one of the RN 's down there , who told me her name was " Susan By the Way " , and I said , " Well , I 'm glad to know you Mrs . By the Way . " ( ala the Clampetts ) . Dr Miller , who did the procedure this morning , was a very personable and skilled physician , ( it was a pleasure to meet Dr . Miller ) . He and Dr . Garber discussed my condition , and determined it would be to my advantage to go to Vanderbilt Medical Center to have this reconstruction done . Right now , I 'm just waiting to hear when we 'll be going . They 're trying to arrange transport and a room for today , and hopefully do the surgery tomorrow . Another of the RN 's down there was telling me about her son , who is in an upcoming production of " Kiss Me kate " . He 's a senior in High School , and is concerned about having to wear boxers in one of the scenes . I told her to Grammy Hey , ya 'll . This is Grammy speakin ' from her hospital room where I just realized that in the last post I failed to answer the question , " Where is Gramps ? Well , the fact is , he has been living in the Big House in the Lap of Luxury with Mark and Allie . They have been giving him the best of care , treating him like the King he is ! He has his own little sunroom to watch TV in , he has a path from his bedroom to his bathroom to his TV screening room , to the kitchen , and to the screened - in back porch where he can watch the animals frolic in the woods ( if they should choose to come out ) . ( I think he said a racoon came out and tipped his hat to him the other day , and told him to watch out for the bears . ) I talked to him yesterday , and he told me they were treating him really good , but when was I getting better and coming home ? Mark and Allie 's daughter , Rachel , sometimes comes and spends part of the day with him , and she tells me they have a really good time . I really appreciate Mark and Allie taking such good of Gramps . They do it from a sense of love , not duty . . . . how blessed we both are ! It has been wonderful to have Carol here with me , looking out for me , and spending time with me . I continue to thank you all for your love and your prayers on our behalf . It was good to talk to my grandson , Daniel ( Whitney was around , too ) today , and had the pleasure of hearing my Illinois great grandchildren talking . This is Blabbin ' Grammy signing off for the second time today . I 'll talk to you after the procedure tomorrow . Bye for now ! Hey , ya 'll ! I feel like I look , like a butternut squash . At least , that 's what people tell me . I tried to claim it was just the coppery skin of my Cherokee ancestors , but no go . I 've seen 2 doctors this morning . Neither one with what I would call great news , but I believe they really are trying to cure me and not kill me . Operative word , not trying . Everyone here is really , really nice , and could not be kinder . I am drinking so many liquids I 'm positively bilious ( of , or pertaining to , bile ) . I had a fairly restful night . Carol , the " Buzzsaw " , went home with Imazo , and we both got a pretty good night 's sleep , but I am not sure about Imazo . ( Ha , ha ! ) I discovered that if I left my TV on , and left the sound off , then I didn 't have all these weird images in my mind while I was trying to sleep . When I 'd hear the words , then it would wake me up because it had something to do with the whole sound thing . It 's difficult to explain . . . . like I was hallucinating . I arose from my bed several times during the night , unplugged my totem pole , and was getting rid of the water I had drunk during the evening , and also what is in the IV bag . I have a procedure to go through tomorrow , and could possibly get to go home before the evening , depending on how it turns out . And , may possibly come back in 4 - 5 weeks for another procedure to remove a stent that they may put in tomorrow . I know that all sounds iffy , but I won 't know until tomorrow . I enjoyed my visit outside yesterday . It was good to have a little " Fun in the sun " and the fresh air felt good . I think I 'll go back out again today . Carol took this picture this morning that 's posted at the top of the blog . You can copy it and use it to decorate your place this Halloween , with the orange pumpkin - color of my skin . You can see I 'm getting up to speed , because I have my book in my hand ! Carol brought me a beautiful begonia ( something she isn 't allergic to ) and put it in my window beside the roses Imazo brought . It 's nice to have flowers to brighten up a hospital room . Much love to all of Posted by Hey , Y ' all , This is Grammy Eeyore coming atcha from my hospital room following major surgery and wishing it hadn 't had to be done . It was supposed to be just a typical gall bladder removal , but that just didn 't happen . I suppose i am feeling better and looking better . At least that is what they tell me . Ohhhhhhhhh Well . In case you can 't tell , I am a little down , but not quite out yet . I sup - pose it will get better . They had me on morphine for awhile , and things were kind of woozy and pleasant with no worries . I asked them not to use it anymore , because I want to be awake for everything that is going on , and get some feeling back in the places where it needs to be . Speaking of sleeping , I haven 't been sleeping much either . OH , well . Carol got here yesterday and it is really wonderful to have her here with me , She also brought her computer with her and I am using it to do my blog today . I am hoping to get the foley tube out today and have been using a machine to help increase my lung power so I can holler at people when I get out of here . ha . I have started walking around in the hospital a little bit . Carol is going to take me outside for awhile today in a wheel chair . Hope it won 't be too hot . Oh , well . I have been having clear liquids for all three meals . It seems like citrussy lemon is the only flavor they know , along with a putrid thing known as chicken bouillon . Gag ! It seems that they are keeping me here over the weekend so they can run another test . If they could just give me a pencil and paper , I could take just about any test they gave me and do fairly well on il . But no soap , wroong kind of test . I am hoping to go home on Tuesday , Maybe , maybe not . Oh well . See you later , I hope . Hey , Y ' all , Well , tomorrow is G - Day ( Gall bladder coming out day ) and today was a busy day . I was up at 6 a . m . and peeled some apples and made an apple pie for supper tonight . I left the house at a little before 9 a . m . , carried the trash off to the New Market Dumpsters , and headed on into Knoxville to do my preregistering for my surgery tomorrow . After that was finished , I headed back home and stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items for supper and for the days ahead . My daughter , Carol , had planned on coming to spend some time helping me out , but she is not recovered yet from her illness , and her husband , Daryl , caught her infection and needed her at home , so she will not be here . I told her please not to come , because she is needed more there than here . My sister - in - law , Imazo , has offered to come and help me for a few days , so I am going to take her up on it . I really appreciate her offer . Ladies at the church will be supplying our supper for several days , and we appreciate that as well . My friend , Mark , will be taking me to the hospital and bringing me home afterwards , and our neighbors will be checking on us as well . We are so very blessed to have so many good friends ! We love them all so very much . I made some baked chicken strips for a salad topping tonight and we had large salads of hearts of romaine lettuce , with cucumber slices , radishes , dried cranberries and raisins , carrots , green peppers , mushrooms , feta cheese along with the chicken strips . For dessert we had the apple pie topped with sugar free ice cream . Gramps just finished up the last piece of apple pie . After supper we played some card games , which was a lot of fun . Now it is close to 9 p . m . and it probably won 't be long before bedtime . I have to be up at 5 a . m . so I can be ready to leave at 6 a . m . and be at the hospital at 7 a . m . The surgery is scheduled for 8 : 30 a . m . The nurse told me that they may keep me until Wednesday since I am a heart patient . We shall see . Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers . I really appreciate it . TGrammy Blogs are so much fun ! If you enjoy a blog entry , and would like to leave a comment , notice that at the bottom of each blog entry is are the words , " 0 comments " or " 2 comments " , reflecting how many comments people have made . Sometimes people comment on the entry , sometimes they even comment on each other 's comments ! Some polite rules for comments are no unkind words , say nice or humorous things or refrain from commenting , no profanity ( which I wouldn 't expect out of my friends , anyway ! ) , and don 't use other people 's last names , because some folks don 't like their names made public . To comment , just click on the " 0 comments " line , and it will take you to a place to comment . Write your comment in the space they provide . Then you have to " log in " . If you don 't have a google account , just click on the link to getting an account . It 's free . . . . will not cost you anything at all . After you write your comment and sign in , say , " Publish your comment " , and you 've blogged ! Enjoy ! |
It was bedtime again and Jonas dreaded his usual last thoughts just before sleep overtook him . It had become a ritual now ; that no matter where he was or where his bed happened to be , the same images lulled him to sleep . The images weren 't pretty , they were one of his embarrassing moments yet and even he couldn 't understand why he wouldn 't stop thinking about them . Bella ! It always came back to Bella . When he joined the Scripture Union ( S . U ) during his first year in High School , it was because of his " school father " the chaplain but it was his crush on Bella that made him stay in the group even years after Edward , his school father had left . He stayed to his graduation day . His very definition of beauty was Bella , the standard to which he held every lady . During their school days , one of the moments he found her most irresistible was after she 'd gotten a haircut . Her sideburns were often pronounced then as her barber always shaped them up . Her slightly protruded forehead was the only thing he wished he could change about her features but six years later after High School when it was okay for the female species of his generation to " have their hair done " , he would see her again and admit to himself that her forehead had become her most alluring feature yet ; more so when she had her hair in a ponytail . She had the darkest skin on campus and even her gums had melanin which made her already white teeth seem whiter . Her small , well shaped and soft lips which he never had the opportunity to touch to confirm his perception always seemed to beckon to him . She had a perfect bust to butt ratio . The fact that she was petite was often overlooked by many because she seemed to be EVERYWHERE all the time , almost like she never wanted anyone to forget that she 's around . She needn 't worry though , because he doubted anyone who 's met Bella ever forgot her . She was a popular girl , he wasn 't a popular guy ; with a name like Jonas , who would be surprised ? His parents definitely didn 't do him any favors with that name . He was easily overlooked . He was a very shy guy and he never played himself into thinking a girl like her would ever notice a guy like him . His bedtime companion was a replay of an incident that happened in their second year in High school . He had just walked into the Assembly Hall where they normally have their S . U meetings , ten minutes before time . He loved doing that because it provided him an opportunity to stare at her as she walks in or to spend the first few minutes with her in the same room before the other members arrived . He got in and sat down at the back of the hall . Bella was chatting with one of her friends a few rows ahead . There was just one other guy ; a junior in the hall and he was making a show of rearranging the chairs in the hall in preparation for the meeting . He felt a bit guilty that the poor guy was doing it all alone so he got up and started helping . Of course he started at a place nearer to the girls , the most natural place that would make it quite alright for him to walk up to them and say ; " excuse me " . He worked his way up to them as planned and said it . The girls got up without even giving him a glance , much like one would treat an invisible person and left but not before he saw Bella raise her left palm to her nose in a gesture that looked like she was trying to cover it from some odor . He felt like he could die on the spot after that , but it was the burst of laughter that came from the other girl seconds later that hammered the nails to his coffin . He never went near Bella again till they left school . Audrey is a vary interesting writer . Her pieces are always relatable downright realistic . She has a blog where she writes stories and poems too . Check her blog out and enjoy binge reading : ) Here 's the link http : / / hakspass . blogspot . com My story takes place back in the day when you got close to a year off school after SSCE . A bunch of the guys had started studying for NOVDEC and others had gone to prayer camps . I didn 't intend to do either . I wasn 't particularly optimistic about my results but I knew I 'd get through . So with SSCE finally out of the way and no teacher to try and tell me what to do , I could finally chase my true love . The day after SSCE I started chasing my NBA dream . I picked up a new dress shirt for my big brother from a boutique and went to Aviation to play ball . There were a few high school grads like myself , some kids from international schools and a bunch of grown men . There was also a girl … a very pretty girl ! She didn 't seem that interested in the game and she wasn 't hiding it either . In a way , she seemed a little out place like she 'd been bribed by a sibling or boyfriend to be there . My interest was piqued but for all my ravishing good looks ( seriously I am ) something about her stumped me . The game started and boy was I having a good day . I couldn 't miss and it was easier to catch a cat than guard me . I was putting on quite a show and trash talking anyone who stood in my way . After an hour of dominating on the court , I absentmindedly sat down close to the girl . I raised my head to coyly stare in her direction and I noticed she glanced in my direction more than once . Still full of confidence from the game I caught her eye and with a small smirk said ; " You enjoy the show ? " . . . Silence . . . . I do Yawa 😰 . Some of the other guys saw it … there was no going back now . I got up , walked over and said ; " You know most people pay to see that " she smiled looked up and said ; I 'd like to see you do that with your guys in the states . I must have been that convincing , she thought I was an American baller ! Of course , I was screaming in " American baller lingo " on the court a little earlier . So I said to her in pidgin ; " You figure say I be Yankee boy . . . Chale I be Ghana boy " she laughed … hard . I was in ! 💃💃💃 . We spoke for about an hour , she was in form 6 at GIS . She was at Aviation because her younger brother was playing tennis . We hit it off quite nicely and spoke about everything hip then , from Destiny 's child 's new album , to Cartoon Network shows . As the evening grew colder I pulled out the shirt I had picked up for my brother and gave it to her . I wanted to ask for her number but I didn 't have a phone . We didn 't even have a land line at home . What to do . . . I lied , I gave her my big brothers number . He didn 't live with us , but he passed by after work before he went home every evening and I was supposed to have his shirt . Now I had to time this perfectly . I had to get home , avoid my brother because of his shirt and yet somehow steal his phone , get her number , tell her not to call on his number again and find some other number to give her . I pretty much pulled it off . I told my brother I 'd get his shirt the next day and asked to borrow his phone . She called and I told her that I was giving the phone away to a relative in the village and would be getting a new one in a few days time . I told her till then I would call her with different numbers . I didn 't have much money , I used most of my money to buy my brother his shirt back ( Why he couldn 't by a cheaper brand I don 't know ) . I had a little money left over so I bought a SIM card . I put it in my brothers phone a few days later and texted to tell say that was my number . She called back immediately and we spoke forever . I knew I wouldn 't be able to reciprocate , so I told her I had a new job at a construction site that kept me busy all day , so I would be texting more than calling . We met at least once a week at Aviation . Sometimes I didn 't play . Sometimes her brother didn 't come . She brought me ham sandwiches and Sunny D , I brought her Sobolo and bofloat . I talked to her about most things and so did she . One day while we were talking she asked why I lied to her so much . I was shocked . What ? ? me ? Lie ? ? ? . Apparently , after we spoke the first day she mistakenly called my big brothers number and he called back . She had known for weeks about my my deception . She hoped I would come clean but I never did . I left her that day and never put the sim back in another phone . I was too embarrassed . I knew she 'd be going to college in the States in a couple of weeks . So I stayed away from Aviation for a little over a month . She didn 't know where I lived so she couldn 't show up at my doorstep . I think she got the message . Thinking back it wasn 't a big deal , I should just have come clean then and there but my 17 year old pride and insecurities wouldn 't let me . Ah well , such is life . That 's how that one got away . Feranmi my 3rd guest blogger is an awesome basketball coach who loves writing . Even though he doesn 't write stories very often when he does its always an interesting piece . If you are into basketball like me you will definitely love his blog . Here 's the link https : / / ferodynamisms . wordpress . com Atsu is a friend from university . He is a hard - working quality aspiring guy who loves his faith and having some bit of fun & ambiguity . You can check out his blog for more uplifting posts 😊 www . minemusings . simplesite . com Adowa didn 't generally swear , but had to bite her tongue to keep from yelling an expletive at ' Brother Kevin ' . She was at a Youth Relationship Workshop at Yehowa Ne Mehwefo Ministries , and Kevin had gone forth to give a testimony with his fiancée . It was her first time visiting the church , and coincidentally , her first time hearing about this fiancée . Kevin , she knew very well - too well even , especially in the light of the recent fiancée discovery . She thought back to the day she met Kevin . They were at a conference for Marketing , Advertisement and Public Relations Professionals and he had passed by her seat at a most unfortunate time and seen her doodles of peen all over her conference scratch book . He 'd bent and whispered in her ears " There was I thinking you were taking notes that would enable your company overthrow mine as number one . " You could probably have steamed chicken off the heat that rose to Adowa 's face then . Kevin Acquah of the Acquah and sons , twelve - time winners of the advertising agency of the year award had caught her in the act of naughty doodling . She wondered how she was going to face him with the proposal from her company after such an introduction . She had planned to corner him at a breakout session later in the day . How would he take her proposal seriously now ? She was so lost in thought pondering this that she did not notice when the session ended . As Kevin passed her seat to leave the room , he dropped a note and Adowa opened it to find doodles of … flowers ? The ' art ' was signed - Your gender has it easier with the drawing , but we could both use some practice . I 'll model for you if you 'd return the favor ? - K . She gasped audibly and jumped off her feet to go give him her mind . She gave him a good telling off , but failed to get any satisfaction out of it since Kevin just stood there smirking the whole time . And so began a game , where he would push her buttons at every industry meeting they both attended . And she would resist and mock his overtures with all she had . It was good clean fun , she reasoned with herself . They had not so much as hugged during these encounters . And it was . Until the last day of last year 's annual conference of the Association of Marketing , Advertisement and Public Relations Professionals , that is . Adowa was chair of the planning committee that year , and so had little time for fraternizing . It was not until the last day that she forced herself to make time and seek Kevin out . They had a few things to hash out about a previously discussed side venture . When he had closed the door , Kevin slowly backed Adowa into the wall . While Adowa had been an avid volunteer in the Consent is Sexy campaign in her college days , the words took on new meaning for her as Kevin moved towards her a millimeter at a time . There was something incredibly sexy about how soft his hands were on her arms , how little pressure was in his touch , and the knowledge that the only thing keeping her in his arms was her own desire to be there … well , and the magnets in his heated gaze . Any remaining reservation she may have had disappeared when his lips finally reached hers . Adowa had a soft spot for soft lips , and Kevin 's were incredibly so . They stood there for the longest time , having lazy Saturday morning sex with just their lips . He pulled away and looked at her with a question in his eyes , but they were both jarred out of the sensual haze , by the simultaneous rings of their phones . Etoile Oye is a very illustrative writer . She doesn 't slack with the descriptions when she writes and it makes her pieces extremely visual . Gosh I love that ! She has blog with really interesting pieces like this and more . Check them out here http : / / etoileoye . blogspot . com This month I 've decided to do something new . I 'm having a few blog posts from some really cool bloggers I know ! I will be putting up their awesome work and a little information about them as well . It 's going to be really exciting as you dive into their creative minds through their articles , poems and stories . I may drop a story or two myself within the month , who knows but I 'm also taking this opportunity to work on a few things on the blog to make it super cool ! Watch this space 😊 . If you know any bloggers who will like to be featured this month drop me a comment and let 's set the ball rolling . When I got back to my room I picked up my phone and called Frank . " Hey , what 's up ? " I said casually . " Hi , I 've been calling you last night and all morning . " He said . I lied to him about having a splitting headache last night and that was why I went mute . " How was your date ? " I asked . He giggled and said it went terrible . My heart skipped a beat . I wasn 't ready to believe he was seeing someone . " Sorry I had to cancel on you because of her . Are you at home ? I 'm not far from your house . " Frank said . I wanted to lie but I thought about what Mawuli said . It was time to find out where I stood in his life . I told Frank I was home and he planned to come over in the next hour . I called Mawuli immediately I hung up with Frank . I told him everything . " First ask him about the other woman to see if he 's involved with her then take my advice . " Mawuli said . His advice was to wear something nice , put on some light makeup and tell Frank I have feelings for him when he came here . According to him Frank would say it was mutual and we will be the happiest couple on earth . Someway some how I didn 't think it would be as easy as he said . I accepted the challenge and dived into my wardrobe . Frank got to my house in about 2 hours but it felt shorter than an hour . My heart was racing as I walked to the door . When I opened the door I saw Frank smiling with a cup of ice cream . " I had a feeling you aren 't very happy about me because of last night so I brought ice cream to cool you down and forgive me . " He said . I smiled like a sheep . Honestly I wanted to say yes I will be your girlfriend but that knew how stupid it would sound . " I 'm not upset but I 'll have that ice cream . " I said and let him in . " Sorry about last night . I had the job at the last minute . None of the guys was available and she 's a high paying client so I had to step in . " He explained . My eyes lit up immediately . " Oh Client , so you were with her for work . " I said subconsciously . " Yes , wait you thought I went out with her ? Oh no she 's not even my type . " He said staring right at me . I felt like it was a sufficient enough answer to the question I had been meaning to ask but I took advantage and asked him one . " What 's your type ? " I asked feeling his stare even more . He smiled and said I already knew his type . I tried to keep a straight face but I couldn 't . I guessed this was it . My window to tell him how I felt . " Are we exclusive ? " I asked . When I saw the confused look on his face I knew immediately that I used the wrong words . " Do you like me ? " I tried again . He moved closer to me . " Of course I do . Who wouldn 't ? " He said . I smiled and leaned in to kiss him . " So how come you haven 't asked me out ? " I finally asked with much more confidence . Frank looked at me in a funny way and I left him move back a bit . " Vanessa I 'm not ready for a relationship . I 'm sorry if I led you on . " He said . My heart started racing . After a brief awkward silence Frank stood up to leave . I sat on the couch with tears forming in my eyes . He took a few steps and turned around . " Vanessa , I know how Eddie hurt you . You deserve someone with less baggage . " He said . I didn 't understand what he meant so I asked him . He took a deep breath . " I have a child , with my ex girlfriend . Eight years ago she got pregnant . When I told her I was not ready to rush into marriage she left me and married someone else . I was young , stupid and afraid . She raised my daughter with her husband with their 2 daughters and never told her I was her father . To her I 'm uncle Frank . It hurts me so much . I can 't let you carry this burden . " He said . My eyes dried up immediately . I walked up to him and hugged him . " I 'm so sorry . " I said . Then a few words rang in my head ; 8 years , 2 other daughters . " I 'm sorry I didn 't tell you the truth . I wanted to tell you but I felt it would scare you away . Sorry you met them as my sister and her kids . " Frank confessed . It all made sense now . Looking back I noticed how caring he was to Kafui and even the other kids . There was this connection I couldn 't understand and it now made sense . " You are not scaring me away Frank . All this while I thought I was the only one who needed closure but you need some too . " I said . " I know how it feels like to keep people out when you are hurting . I will be here by your side no matter what , to help you through this . " I reassured . Frank looked at me surprised . Before he could say another word I leaned in and kissed him . It was just like the first time we kissed but this time I was the one telling him if will be ok . Frank took a couple of months to get closure with his daughter . He decided with his ex to tell her the truth when she turned 13 . That gave him the freedom and hope he needed and since then we 've been the happiest couple alive . When I got back to my room I picked up my phone and called Frank . " Hey , what 's up ? " I said casually . " Hi , I 've been calling you last night and all morning . " He said . I lied to him about having a splitting headache last night and that was why I went mute . " How was your date ? " I asked . He giggled and said it went terrible . My heart skipped a beat . I wasn 't ready to believe he was seeing someone . " Sorry I had to cancel on you because of her . Are you at home ? I 'm not far from your house . " Frank said . I wanted to lie but I thought about what Mawuli said . It was time to find out where I stood in his life . I told Frank I was home and he planned to come over in the next hour . I called Mawuli immediately I hung up with Frank . I told him everything . " First ask him about the other woman to see if he 's involved with her then take my advice . " Mawuli said . His advice was to wear something nice , put on some light makeup and tell Frank I have feelings for him when he came here . According to him Frank would say it was mutual and we will be the happiest couple on earth . Someway some how I didn 't think it would be as easy as he said . I accepted the challenge and dived into my wardrobe . Frank got to my house in about 2 hours but it felt shorter than an hour . My heart was racing as I walked to the door . When I opened the door I saw Frank smiling with a cup of ice cream . " I had a feeling you aren 't very happy about me because of last night so I brought ice cream to cool you down and forgive me . " He said . I smiled like a sheep . Honestly I wanted to say yes I will be your girlfriend but that knew how stupid it would sound . " I 'm not upset but I 'll have that ice cream . " I said and let him in . " Sorry about last night . I had the job at the last minute . None of the guys was available and she 's a high paying client so I had to step in . " He explained . My eyes lit up immediately . " Oh Client , so you were with her for work . " I said subconsciously . " Yes , wait you thought I went out with her ? Oh no she 's not even my type . " He said staring right at me . I felt like it was a sufficient enough answer to the question I had been meaning to ask but I took advantage and asked him one . " What 's your type ? " I asked feeling his stare even more . He smiled and said I already knew his type . I tried to keep a straight face but I couldn 't . I guessed this was it . My window to tell him how I felt . " Are we exclusive ? " I asked . When I saw the confused look on his face I knew immediately that I used the wrong words . " Do you like me ? " I tried again . He moved closer to me . " Of course I do . Who wouldn 't ? " He said . I smiled and leaned in to kiss him . " So how come you haven 't asked me out ? " I finally asked with much more confidence . Frank looked at me in a funny way and I left him move back a bit . " Vanessa I 'm not ready for a relationship . I 'm sorry if I led you on . " He said . My heart started racing . After a brief awkward silence Frank stood up to leave . I sat on the couch with tears forming in my eyes . He took a few steps and turned around . " Vanessa , I know how Eddie hurt you . You deserve someone with less baggage . " He said . I didn 't understand what he meant so I asked him . He took a deep breath . " I have a child , with my ex girlfriend . Eight years ago she got pregnant . When I told her I was not ready to rush into marriage she left me and married someone else . I was young , stupid and afraid . She raised my daughter with her husband with their 2 daughters and never told her I was her father . To her I 'm uncle Frank . It hurts me so much . I can 't let you carry this burden . " He said . My eyes dried up immediately . I walked up to him and hugged him . " I 'm so sorry . " I said . Then a few words rang in my head ; 8 years , 2 other daughters . " I 'm sorry I didn 't tell you the truth . I wanted to tell you but I felt it would scare you away . Sorry you met them as my sister and her kids . " Frank confessed . It all made sense now . Looking back I noticed how caring he was to Kafui and even the other kids . There was this connection I couldn 't understand and it now made sense . " You are not scaring me away Frank . All this while I thought I was the only one who needed closure but you need some too . " I said . " I know how it feels like to keep people out when you are hurting . I will be here by your side no matter what , to help you through this . " I reassured . Frank looked at me surprised . Before he could say another word I leaned in and kissed him . It was just like the first time we kissed but this time I was the one telling him if will be ok . Frank took a couple of months to get closure with his daughter . He decided with his ex to tell her the truth when she turned 13 . That gave him the freedom and hope he needed and since then we 've been the happiest couple alive . " Vanessa hi , what are you doing here ? " He asked but before I could reply the lady walked to him with a bottle of wine in her hand . She turned to look at me . I was honestly not sure what to do . " I just came to get some nuts but they don 't have my favourite so I 'm just buying a bottle of wine . " I said in the most convincing tone I could master . I picked the closest bottle of wine to me then I turned around and left . When I got back into the car I told him to drive me to the beach . Maybe if I was lucky a mad man would show up and stone my problems away . When I got to the beach and sat down on the sand , I opened the bottle of wine and drunk straight from the bottle . After a few gulps I felt my phone vibrating . I looked at it and saw it was the same number Eddie used to text me . I answered it even though I had tears in my eyes . " Nessy are you OK ? You don 't sound good . Where are you ? " Eddie asked . He sounded just like old times . I told him I was fine but he insisted to come to me . Eddie wasn 't far away because in less than 10 minutes he was at the beach . He walked to me and hugged me . " Leave me . Leave me alone . " I said , pushing Eddie away . " You chose money , you chose fame over me . I sold my car to pay for your album . After everything I did for you ! " I said . The tears were rolling down my cheeks . " I know . I did all of these things but I 'm sorry . I 'm choosing you now . I don 't care about anything else anymore . " Eddie said . He took a step closer to me . " I realised my mistake and that was breaking up with you . I do all these shows and video , make so much money but honestly I 'm not happy . I miss you . " He said . Eddie leaned in and kissed me . The wind blew through my hair and we stood on the beach , lip locked . His kiss put me into a state of realisation . For so long I wanted Eddie to miss me . I wanted him to come back begging . I guess I was angry with him because he didn 't come back for me . That was probably why I never dated anyone after him . Finally my wish had been answered but somehow I didn 't feel anything for him . All I did was compare his kiss to Frank 's . I pulled away from Eddie . " I 'm sorry , I don 't feel the same about you anymore . I guess this is the closure I always wanted to finally close the curtains . " I said . Eddie looked confused . " What do you mean ? " he asked . " I think it 's time for both of us to move on . Goodnight Eddie . " I said . I kissed him on the cheek and walked away . The next morning my phone woke me up . I picked it up and saw it was Frank calling . I muted the phone and dropped it immediately . I turned over and tried to go back to sleep . I opened my eyes again and this time I could hear the doorbell . I got up growling in anger . I didn 't want to wake up before noon . Unfortunately the whole world wouldn 't allow me to sleep my problems away . I picked up my phone to check my notifications as I walked to the door and froze . Frank had sent me tons of messages asking if he could come over . " Shit ! " I said . I turned around and went to Wendy 's room . " Hey , Frank is looking for me tell him I 'm not around . " I said . Wendy tried to ask why but I just pushed her out . When Wendy came back the expression on her face said it all . " It wasn 't Frank was it ? " I asked . She crawled into her bed . " No it 's Mawuli . He 's in the hall . " She muttered . I giggled and went into her bathroom to freshen up . When I went to the hall I saw Mawuli sitting in the hall with the remote watching TV . " Wow did I wake you up ? " He asked . I shook my head and sat on the sofa . I told him about the party and how I saw Frank with another woman . " I always fall for the wrong guys . Frank boldly told me he didn 't trust anyone enough to be in a relationship with them . Why did I do this to myself ? " I said . " That 's nonsense . You don 't fall for the wrong guys . It 's just life . Sometimes things are good other times they are not . From all the things you 've told me I 'm sure Frank likes you but you need to forget about Eddie and open up to him . " Mawuli said . That paved the way for my next story . I told Mawuli what happened with Eddie and I . " That 's excellent news ! " He said with a big smile . Mawuli wasn 't exactly at my place for a visit he just came to pick up his external hard drive from me . His cousins were visiting him and he wanted to have a movie night . I gave it to him and just before he left he smiled and said , " Right now that you 've let Eddie go , tell Frank how you feel about him and let 's see how it goes . " I nodded . It sounded like a good plan ! The next couple of weeks were very interesting . I saw Frank after work . We sometimes met at his office , other times at a restaurant for dinner and other times at my place . I continued planning my company 's event and spoke to Eddie a couple of times but Frank gave me tips on how to deal with him . Frank was very smart and funny making being with him extremely enjoyable . One Friday night he couldn 't come over as planned . I waited for him all dressed up and he sent me a message to let me know he couldn 't make it . I was a bit disappointed because I looked forward to our Friday nights together . On her way out my sister saw me taking off my earrings and walked into my room . " Why , aren 't you going out anymore ? " She asked . " Naa , Frank called to cancel . " I replied . " Ah that 's annoying . The way you are slaying the dress eh you can 't waste it like that ? " Wendy said and I giggled . The dress was actually one of my favourites that I hadn 't worn in a long time . Luckily for me it still fit like a glove . " Look , Kokui is having a party at her place . Her big sister has invited some of her friends too so don 't tell me you don 't want to go because my crowd is young . " Wendy offered . I smiled . It 's like she ready me mind . I finally agreed and we went together . When we got to the party I went straight to sit on the couch while Wendy rushed to look for her friends . I pulled out my phone to see if Frank had replied my text but there was nothing . I sent him a text to suggest we meet up later since I was already out . " Hello " , I heard a guy say . I raised my head and saw a guy about or younger than Wendy smiling at me . " Hi . " I replied and looked back down at my phone . " Is the party boring ? " He asked . I nodded and faked a smile . Unfortunately my neutral responses didn 't deter him . I felt my phone vibrate and I quickly picked it up . It was a text but I didn 't recognise the number . I read the first two words , hi Nessy and knew who it was immediately . Only one person called me Nessy , it was Eddie . He said he wanted to meet me and talk so I should let him know when I was free . " You 've been on your phone since you came . " The guy next to me said . I almost forgot about him . " Yea , I think I 'm at the wrong place . That is the exit right ? " I said getting up to leave . He just nodded and watched me walk off . He probably thought I was the biggest snob in the world . I stopped and turned around . Halfway to the door I stopped and walked back to the guy . " Hi I 'm Vanessa . I 'm really sorry about how our conversation turned out I 'm just a bit distracted . " I confessed . He seemed surprised , pleasantly surprised . " No , it 's fine . I 'm Opoku . " He said . " Nice to meet you . I 'll be off now . " I said shaking his hand . He smiled at me and I turned around to leave , this time with a clear conscience . As I stood outside the house of the party trying to catch a taxi I got another text from Eddie . He said he was sorry again and wanted to meet me the next day . A taxi came by and I quickly hopped into it . The driver stopped at a fuel station not too far from the place I was . I took out my phone to see if Frank had replied and what I saw next surprised me . I saw a guy like Frank in a suit with a lady in a black dress coming out of a car , laughing and walking into the fuel station supermarket . I got out of the car immediately . I told the driver I 'd be back and went to inside too . It was when he turned around and saw me that I realised it was Frank . Mawuli was right . Eddie was sitting next to his manager and the branch manager had some documents in front of them which I realised was a contract . " Oh Vanessa you are here . I guess I will leave you to handle the contract signing now . " He said . He excused himself and walked out . My heart was pounding with anger but I couldn 't let it show . When Eddie and my eyes met I instantly looked away . " Vanessa long time no see . How are you doing ? " Stanley , Eddie 's manager said . I faked a smile and told him I was fine . I picked up a copy of the contract and marked the important areas with my pen . The contract wasn 't very long so I was done in no time . My heart was pounding so hard my vision was a bit impaired . " So how are you , how is everything ? " Eddie finally said . I stopped what I doing and was going to answer him when my phone rung . It was Frank . " One minute . " I said picking up my phone and walked out . " Hello , you called me at the right time . " I said when I answered Frank 's call . He giggled and asked why I said that . I explained the ' situation ' in the office to him . " I really don 't want to talk to him . I don 't even want to see him . " I complained . " This is what I tell my employees . If you don 't like a situation at work tell yourself , this is purely business and the day will eventually end . " Frank said . I must admit it was very good advice . I told him I was only in the meeting because my boss dropped it on me . Before I could fully explain everything I saw my boss staring at me . I rushed off the phone with Frank and walked back into the room . " Sorry about that . Do you have any questions ? " I said and sat down . Eddie smiled and nodded . He turned to Stanley and asked if he could excuse us . He claimed he wanted to discuss a few things with me in private . I wanted to object but remembered what Frank said and nodded . When Stanley was gone Eddie took off his shades . He hadn 't changed much . He took a deep breath . " These past few months have made me believe in karma . I was a fool . You didn 't deserve anything I did to you . You may never forgive me and I understand that but I just want you to know that no day goes by without me thinking about you . " He said . I wasn 't ready for what he was saying because I could feel tears about to form in my eyes . " Eddie that 's all in the past . I really don 't want to talk about it . " I managed to say . He nodded . " I know . I just want to let you know . I knew you wouldn 't agree to see me that 's why I set up this job . I told Stanley to propose to perform at this banks event just to talk to you . Nessy I 'm sorry . " He said . My heart started to race . If he had told me these words some months ago maybe just maybe I could have forgiven him . I put the files together and stood up . " I have heard you . Please sign the documents then . I think we are done here . " I said . My eyes were teary as I walked out . That evening Frank came to pick me up from work . He heard how gloomy I sounded over the phone and refused to let me go home alone . He took me to the beach . The same beach we went to the other time . When we sat down on the sand I told him very bluntly that I wasn 't interested in playing his pebble game . He smiled and agreed we wouldn 't play it . He put his arm around me and whispered . " We 'll just sit here and watch the waves . If there 's anything you want to say you can tell me or else we 'll both just sit here and relax . " The sound of the waves was very calming . The breeze was chilly but Frank was nice and warm . After a brief moment a tear drop fell out of my eye and another followed . I could feel Frank hold me closer . I felt safe with him . Just then I felt a sea shell hit my foot . I looked in the direction it came from and saw a man dressed in tattered clothes throwing shells at us . " Eii maame water ! Papa water ! " He screamed when he saw us looking at him . He looked mad . Without any warning he started throwing more than shells at us . He threw empty plastic bottles and and whole of of junk at us . " This guy is mad , let 's get out of here . " Frank said and grabbed my hand to leave . As we were walking away the man noticed and started running towards us still yelling and screaming . Frank and I instantly broke into a run towards the car . We entered Frank 's car and locked the doors . Then the mad man turned around and walked away . When he was gone we looked at each other and instantly started laughing . We laughed for so long my sides hurt . When we were done laughing Frank leaned in and kissed me . His lips were a bit salty from the sea but the kiss was still amazing . " I 'm sorry I just wanted to kiss you again before a mad man comes to stone me to death at the beach . " Frank said and triggered our laughter again . Just like that I had forgotten all about Eddie . Frank 's sister 's house wasn 't very far from mine so in less than 10 minutes my taxi arrived at the house . I puffed my hair up a little and rang the door bell . A little girl of able 8 years opened the door . Before I could say anything she let me in . " You are auntie Vanessa right ? " She asked . I smiled and nodded . She grabbed my hand and led me into the kitchen . " Oh Vanessa thank God you are here . " Frank said . He had flour all over his shirt . He rushed to give me a hug and transfered some of his flour to me . " The girls want something to eat and my sister 's fridge is so dry it 's not even funny . " He said . I giggled and turned to the three girls including the one who opened the door for me . " My name is Kafui , and these are my sisters Ajo and Keli . " The 8 year old said . Ajo looked about 5 and Keli was definitely 3 years old . I smiled at them and they confessed that they were very hungry . I made some pancakes for the girls . Luckily there was honey in the fridge so we enjoyed it with the pancakes and milk . The kids loved it and told me it was the best they had ever had . I smiled like a sheep . Frank who did the frying under my careful guidance wanted some of the credit but the girls teased him . After everyone was stuffed we went to the kids bedroom and all took turns telling stories . The girls were all dressed up and ready for bed . After the third story Keli was fast asleep . Surprisingly Kafui followed next and Ajo was the last to sleep . Frank was really good with the kids . I couldn 't help staring at when he told his story and tickled all of us for effects . The children showed me all the toys he had bought for them . Somehow I wondered how much competition he was giving their father with all the gifts he gave them . When the girls were all sound asleep we went back to the kitchen to tidy up the place . Frank just told me to put the leftovers in the fridge while he did all the cleaning . " Thanks for coming . These girls are so hard to take care of alone . " He said . I smiled and told him I had a great time . Frank 's sister arrived just after we finished the cleaning . It was about 11 : 20pm at the time . She was a very nice person like Frank . " You have amazing daughters . " I said as Frank and I left we could tell she was very tired and wanted to sleep . She thanked me and asked me to drop by and visit anytime I was in the area . I hopped into Frank 's car and he took me home . He looked just as tired as his sister . When we got to my place just before I got out of the car I leaned over and kissed him . The kiss lasted longer than the last one and when it was done Frank was instantly wide awake . " That was to make sure you get home safely . " I said . Frank giggled . " I think I 'll start coming to see you everytime I 'm tired . " He teased . We both laughed and I left . That night all I thought about was Frank . When I got to work the next day I had the shock of my life . Just as I was entering the conference room the branch manager asked me to meet him at Mawuli rushed to me . I could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong . " Bad news is in your office ? " He whispered when he got to me . I was almost at the door now . " Which bad news ? " I asked , also whispering . " Eddie and his manager . " Mawuli said . So yesterday , 14th September was my birthday ! I had such an awesome time I couldn 't write today 's episode of Closure . My husband , Tim planned a very awesome celebration for me . It was so much fun that I practically spent the whole day today sleeping . Good news is that I 'm going to make Sunday 's edition a bit longer . 😊 Abi that 's fair ? So next episode of Closure drops this Sunday knorr . Follow my blog for notifications whenever there 's a new post if you haven 't done that already and thanks for reading 😊 " So how long till you start dating ? From the sound of that kiss we are looking at minutes right ? " Mawuli said . He was leaning over my desk at work . I told him about Frank and he had been smiling ever since . " I 'm not sure that will happen . He said he doesn 't trust women remember ? Plus I 'm not sure I 'm ready for a relationship again . " I confessed . His smile faded . " Vanessa you are too young and good looking to be saying such foolish things . You are very ready . " He said . He tried to convince me to forget about Eddie and move on . I knew he was right but it didn 't sound as easy as he was saying it . Just then the phone on my desk rang and our little chat was over . Frank and I chat and talked for a couple of days after the kiss . None of us brought it up though . We just acted like nothing happened . I honestly didn 't have a problem with it at all . The calls got more frequent and so was the texting . They say when you start climbing the hill of happiness a rock or two fall your way and try to destroy it . That 's what happened to me one day at a meeting at work . The bank was going to have its annual awards ceremony and as usual the planning committee meet to discuss the details . When I was called to this meeting I wondered why . I was never part of that group . " Vanessa we have a task for you . Can you speak to the singer Eddie to perform at the awards night ? " The manager of the bank asked . I wasn 't in anyway prepared for that question . " Sir , I 'm sorry I don 't understand . " I managed to say . He put his pen down , sat back in his chair and looked at me . " You know him personally right ? Find out what his quote is and his availability but more importantly ask him for a discount . I think we are done " He said . Then he smiled and walked out . I wondered whether I was day dreaming or it was real . " He wants it by tomorrow oh . " One of my workmates said as she left the meeting room and my heart skipped a beat . " Did you call him ? What did he say ? " Mawuli whispered leading me to the kitchen , the next day . I just submitted Eddie 's quotes the boss requested . I shook my head and Mawuli almost went crazy . " Nessa I hope you didn 't send some fake exorbitant quotes you conjured . " He said . " No ! " I scolded . I explained to Mawuli that the quotes were real . I called his manager instead . " Smart move . " Mawuli said smiling . I smiled back . Mawuli knew I decided not to talk to Eddie and since he knew our history he understood . " What are you going to do at the awards night when he 's there ? You really need to get over him . " Mawuli said . I knew he was right but I had decided to avoid him and so far it had sort of helped . That night I wanted company . Wendy was out with her friends doing her usual Friday ritual . Mawuli was also out of town . I thought hard about Frank . I could almost be certain we would kiss again if we were alone together . Not that it was a bad thing but I wasn 't sure it was healthy either . I shrugged and grabbed my phone to call him but just then my phone rung and it was none other than Frank calling . I giggled and answered the call . One weekday during lunch time I went to Frank 's office as planned . The office space was modern and very cozy . It was really as awesome as he described it . There were 4 rooms ; a salon , boutique , gym and his personal office . There was a very smart secretary there as well as an accountant and a manager who generally made sure everything was handled smoothly . Frank 's own office was very interesting . It was very clean and professional even though there was a playstation and TV in it . He already had food in his office by the time I got there . We ate and chat . I must admit he was very good company . " So word on the street is that you used to date Eddie T . I didn 't know you were a celebrity type of girl . " Frank said . I lost my appetite immediately . " Ah yes . Oh look at the time . I should get going . " I said putting my paper plate aside . " I thought you had an hour and half ? " Frank asked . I nodded and got up to leave . " My boss is a pain . I should go . Thanks for lunch . " I said and rushed out . Frank wanted to drop me off but I lied about bringing a car and left . It was like Eddie just kept coming back to haunt me . I knew Frank didn 't mean any harm but I wasn 't ready to explain why I walked out on lunch so I ignored his messages . One evening I was reading a magazine in my room when my sister walked in . " Guess who is outside looking for you ? " Wendy , my sister asked . I stared at her with a blank face . " Frank Ayarik . He 's in the hall . " She said . I dropped my magazine , looked at myself in the mirror and walked to the hall . Wendy was telling the truth , he was sitting on the couch and quickly turned to look at me when he heard me walk in . " Hey , sorry about coming over unannounced . I had a strong feeling you wouldn 't answer my call . " He said with a smile . He had a very warm smile . It was just too contagious so I smiled back . I sat down on the chair next to him . We talked for a while and Frank asked if I wanted to go out for fresh air . I nodded and we went to the beach . When we got to the beach there was practically no one there . " Who comes to the beach at 9pm ? " I asked . Frank looked at me and giggled . " You weren 't very frisky when you were a teenager eh ? " He teased . We took a walk like we did the other day . " I 'm sorry I mentioned Eddie to you . I found out you two broke up . " He said out of the blue and I shrugged . Frank picked up a pebble from the sea sand . " My last girlfriend left me because she wanted to get married and I wasn 't ready . A month later she got married . " He said . Then he threw the pebble into the sea as far as he could . He picked up another pebble and gave to to me . " Your turn . " He said . I looked at him , not sure what to say both about his breakup and the pebble . " Tell me something about your past and throw it into the sea . " He said . I giggled but the idea did sound like fun . I looked at the small brown pebble and the pain from the thoughts of Eddie flooded my mind . " One of the work experiences on my CV is fake . My cousin owns that company so I just added it . " I said and threw my pebble . Frank rolled his eyes . I knew this was not the type of secret he was looking for . After playing the pebble game a few times I really loosened up . Frank and I always tried to throw the pebble further each time . One time I threw it so far he said " this burden dierr it 's gone forever and 100meters more " . I laughed so hard I almost fell . I knew he was doing this to get me to talk about Eddie . I sat down on the sand and he sat next to me . " Eddie and I dated for 5 years . I really thought he was the one . " I started , doodling in the sand . " You knew him before he started singing ? " Frank asked and I nodded . " Sometimes I wonder if we would have been married with kids if he hadn 't gone into music but you never know . " I continued . I was fighting the tears when Frank asked why we broke up . " His career was more important . " I said . That was the furtherest I could go without crying so I changed the subject . Frank understood and told me about his work instead . When Frank brought me back home he walked me to the door for the first time . " Thanks for today , I feel a lot lighter . We should do this again . " I said . Frank smiled and nodded . " Calm down , you will fill the sea with all your numerous pebbles if we continue , Vanessa . " He teased . I laughed and was just about to leave . " Hey Nessa . " Frank said . I turned around and without a second to spare he kissed me . I hadn 't kissed anyone in 9 months and his kiss reminded me of what I was missing . He finally pulled back slowly and said goodnight . " I wasn 't expecting that . " I said . " Neither was I but I 'm glad it happened . " He said . We both giggled and he walked back to his car without saying another word . I just stood there till he was gone with a smile locked on my face . When I got to the bar I saw Frank and his cute friend sitting in corner . I realised Mawuli was so right . If Frank wanted it to be a date he wouldn 't have brought his buddy along . They waved at me and I walked to them . I sat down and ordered a drink . Frank introduced his friend , Kofi to me . We all chat about a lot of random things . Kofi seemed younger than Frank and I but he was very funny . He was also very charming . I enjoyed their company so much I didn 't notice how fast the time flew . " Eish it 's late ! I need to be heading home now . " I exclaimed when I saw the time . Frank gave me a ride home but Kofi stayed . " Thanks for coming out tonight . At least we got some time to catch up . " Frank said when we got to my house . I nodded . " It was fun . I rarely do this anymore . " I confessed . Frank laughed . He didn 't believe me . The Vanessa he knew back in the day was a party girl . Things had obviously changed . We agreed to hang out again in the near future . I smiled as I entered my house . The next time I met Frank was at a party at the beach organised by the bank I worked at . It was extremely random . He was with a lady when we met . I recognised her from another branch . I waved when I saw him and he smiled as he walked to me . " What are you doing here ? " We both said at the same time . I rolled my eyes and told him I worked at the bank . He told me he was invited by one of my coworkers . Apparently he banked with us as well . This world is just too small . When the event was nearing it 's completion Frank suggested we take a walk . He thought the music was too loud for me when I frowned a lot but it was rather the fact that the dj was playing a lot of Eddie 's songs that I didn 't like . I agreed to the walk . I took off my shoes and walked barefooted with the water passing over my feet everytime the waves got to us . " Now you know what I do . Tell me what you do . " I said as we walked . " Do you want to know what I really do or what I tell people ? " He said . " Do you sell drugs ? " I asked and Frank laughed . He shook his head . " Tell me what you really do . " I demanded . He stopped walking and sat on a rock . I stood in front of him . " I run an agency . " He finally said . " Your own business . Nice , what kind of agency is it ? " I asked . He stared at me . As if he was wondering whether to tell me the truth or lie . " It 's an image boosting agency . " He finally said . " Right , so you run a salon with a gym in it . " I teased and we both laughed . " We do have a gym and a salon but it 's a little more complex that that . " He added . I stared at him and wondered if he was hiding something . I asked Frank to break down his agency to me . " People come to us for various reasons and we sort them out especially with how they look from physical , online information to escort services . Most of the times it 's to impress people , personal fulfilment and so many other weird reasons . " Frank explained . I realised he was serious . " Wow really ? As in you can glam me up and get me an escort for an event ? " I asked . He laughed and gave me a rough idea of the amount he charges . My jaw dropped . He told me Kofi was one of his employees and everything made sense . " Where do you find these good looking guys from kwraa ? " I asked . Frank took me through his selection process and I was extremely impressed . The night ended with me planning a visit to his office . A bit of me still believed he was messing with me . Wendy , my sister was watching TV on the couch when I got home . I handed her the food and she gobbled it down like she hadn 't eaten in a month . " Why did it take you so long ? " She asked . I sat down by her . " I met Frank Ayarik . He even brought me home . " I replied . My sister thought for a while and recognized who I was talking about . I told her about how the evening went and she asked why I didn 't take the cute guy 's number . I threw a pillow at her and she laughed . I noticed the more satisfied she got the sillier she became so I went to my room . My younger sister is a proper goofball . Somehow I guess that 's why I asked her to live with me . I didn 't hear from Frank till about 4 days later . He texted me asking the time I would get home from work and if I wanted to have drinks . It sounded like a date and even though Frank was pretty nice I wasn 't ready for that . I needed to heal from my last relationship . I texted Frank back telling him I would be too tired to have drinks after work . He seemed to understand because he said ok . Throughout the day I felt a bit bad . Maybe I was thinking too much into it . He could have just wanted to talk like the other night . I decided to ask a coworker and close friend what he thought . " Ah Vanessa paa . Going out for drinks is normal . I ask my guy friends sef to go out for drinks . " Mawuli , my coworker said . Just then his boss came out of his office . Mawuli grabbed the file he dropped on my desk . " Go and have drinks la . " He whispered and walked away briskly . I giggled and went back to work . When we closed from work that night I decided to take the office bus home . I took a seat by the window and just as I was going to plug some music into my ears Mawuli appeared from nowhere and sat beside me . " Herr Efo , don 't be scaring me like that . " I teased . Mawuli giggled . He asked if I had agreed to have drinks with Frank and I shook my head . He wouldn 't stop bugging me about it so I sent Frank a text . I told him I closed a bit early so he should tell me where he wanted to meet and I 'd meet his there . Mawuli clapped for me when he saw me send the message . I got off the bus at my junction and walked home . I pulled out my phone from my bag to see if Frank had replied my message but he hadn 't . When I got home my sister was not on the couch watching TV as usual and I remembered it was Friday night . She always had a ritual of going out with her friends on Fridays . I remembered doing the same myself some years back . Things had changed . I dropped my bag on the center table and turned on the TV . A music video came on and I changed the channel immediately . I remembered why I hadn 't sat down to watch TV in a while . My ex boyfriend , Eddie was always on and I didn 't want to see his face again . Just like magic he appeared on the new channel too ? I picked up the remote and turned off the TV . Just as I was getting up to leave the hall Frank called . " Vanessa what 's up ? I just saw your message oh . Is it too late to do the drinks ? " He asked . I thought for a while and told him it was fine . We planned to meet at a bar not far away . " Two burgers with regular size chips . " I said . I took out money from my purse and paid for my fast food order . It had been a very long day at work and I couldn 't wait to get home and jump into my bed . I sent a text to my sister to let her know I had bought her food . It was when I raised my head up that I saw him , Frank Ayarik . I hesitated a bit and just called him . He recognized me immediately and came to sit next to me . " Hi , how are you doing ? " He asked . I smiled and we did the usual small talk . Frank was my mate back in secondary school . We used to be pretty close but went to different Universities so we drifted apart . Frank was a bit different from how I remembered him . Obviously he looked more matured and good looking but he wasn 't as bubbly and full of stories as he used to be but talking to him was still pretty interesting . I remembered back in school there was a time I heard he liked me . Funny enough I liked him then too . He was meeting someone at the restaurant but just before my order was ready they called to change the venue . " I should meet you at Creamland ? Ok I will be there in 10 minutes . " Frank said . I told him Creamland was just a few minutes from my house so he offered to give me a ride home and I gladly accepted . When I saw his car I was wowed . I never imagined a class clown like Frank would turn out like this . We got to Creamland in less than 10 minutes . He told me he was just giving something to his friend and would take me home after . When I nodded he picked up his phone and called his friend . He told him where we were so he come to the car . As we waited I asked Frank if he was married or seeing someone . He laughed and said he wasn 't . His laughter took so long I wondered what it really meant . " Why what 's so funny ? " I asked with a little giggle . Before he could say anything his friend appeared . A tall slender guy with neatly cut hair walked to the car . He was very good looking and showed his neatly arranged white teeth when he said hi and smiled at me . Frank rolled down the window glass when he noticed him . He pulled out a brown envelope with what looked like a bundle of 1000 cedis from the glove compartment and handed it over to him . I could guess the amount because I work at the bank . When you work with money long enough you could get such skills . " Make I count am ? " The cute guy said . " Sia , commot for there . I dey go . " Frank replied and they both laughed . Frank put his seat belt on and I waved at the cute guy as we left . I asked who the cute guy was but Frank smoothly changed the subject so I asked him why he laughed when I asked if he was married or seeing someone . He shrugged but I didn 't back down . " No offense but I don 't trust women . " He said . His words hurt a little but I smiled and nodded . " Fair enough . I don 't trust men either so I guess we have a lot in common . " I teased . As much as it was meant to be a joke it triggered a sad memory from my past . Surprisingly Frank smiles . " Exactly ! I 'm glad someone agrees with me . You are so cool Vanessa . " He said . I giggled . " Ah I just said I don 't trust you . " I said . He nodded . " You shouldn 't . Same way I shouldn 't trust you so everyone stays happy . " He explained . We had gotten to my house at this point . " Give me your number . I 'll call you the next time I come to see my stupid friend again . Then we can talk more . " Frank said . I giggled and gave him my number . We said goodnight and I got out of his car . I waved as he left and walked inside my house . Time wasting is like kente in Ghana , it 's part of our culture . Ghanaians find all sorts of creative ways to waste each other 's time . Sometimes it almost feels like a sport . One that has no ending time . Then again it could be a game to the death . We waste each other 's time ahhh till we die . You go to the bank they waste your time , you go to the restaurant they waste your time , you die and are ready to be buried sef they will waste your time . No one is safe at any stage ! I 'm sure you are reading this and going like " I know right ? Ghana dier so so time wasting " but you naa you are part of the problem . That doesn 't mean you should stop reading oh . I beg . But let 's be honest we are either equally a time waster or you are helping this very bad habit . I 'm not excuded oh . In fact far from it . I 'm also one of the Dj Time Wasters but let 's look at this on a whole shall we ? To be honest I 'm tired of waiting . I 'm not saying making someone wait is a crime but at least people need to know it 's not good . One day I was asked to come for a meeting at 2pm . The person told me not to be late so I got there just before 2 and had to wait for an hour because the person was out on his lunch break . What the hell ? ! I was not amused at all so when he finally came back I asked him why he asked me to meet him at his lunch time and guess what he said " Oh I didn 't want you to come late so I 'll have to wait . " If it wasn 't for the fear of God and good training my parents have given me I would have done something jail warranting to him . How is it ok for ME to wait ? ! People need to stop this thing . Most people don 't see anything wrong with asking people to wait . In their heads it 's like " oh but will sitting down for 2 hours kill you ? " . Well it probably won 't but will attending to me on time kill you too ? We all know the answer to that . These days , you are actually tricked into waiting by your own loved ones . Who has ever been to a wedding where the starting time was a lie ? That thing can pain eh ? Some ladies have a limited time span their make up can last and you trick them into coming early , how wicked ! I don 't know about you but I don 't want to start my marriage on lies . At least use words or phrases like ' prompt ' or ' kindly be there early ' or ' refreshment will be served just before the bride enters ' or something just don 't make me come and wait . It 's simple , let 's just try to consider our fellow men and women . Let 's put ourselves in each others shoes and act accordingly . There 's the general perception in Ghana that if you require something from someone you should be prepared to wait no matter how long they ask you to and it 's bad . Ei especially at Ministries . That place dierr it 's just a place you go to wait . Let 's change our habit because it 's not fresh . It 's time we showed some respect for each other because the honest truth is that you never know the amount of harm you are doing to someone when you make them wait for hours . So my dear Ghanaians unless you are ready to pay people , don 't make them waiters * drops mic * . I woke up immediately I heard the door bell ring . I slowly closed my eyes again when I remembered I wasn 't the only one at home . Surely my little brother , Elorm would be awake . That video game playing boy was always awake . Unlike him I preferred to sleep till mid morning because I was on vacation . When I heard him open his door I pulled my covers closer and tried to go back to sleep . I was almost successful when my brother barged into my room . " Eyram there 's a package for you ! " He said , excitedly . I looked at him suspiciously , wondering if he was up to any of his usual pranks . " Elorm , if I go downstairs and it 's not true I 'm putting your X box , Y box or whatever it is called in a bucket of water . " I threatened . He just giggled and asked me to hurry up . I got out of bed and made my way to the living room . Our parents had left for work . Elorm was not joking . There was a delivery man on a bike with a box . I walked over to him . He asked me to sign in a notebook and handed over the box to me . Then he left . I wasn 't sure what to say because I was not expecting anything from anyone . I looked around the box to see if there was a sender 's address but I saw nothing . " Open the thing la . " Elorm said . I giggled and opened it . My eyes gleamed when I saw what it was . It was a tablet pc . It wasn 't brand new but it was an awesome tablet I had been wanting about for some time . I was very eager to find out who gave me this amazing gift . There was a little note that read " hi Eyram , a friend of mine was selling this at a really good price . Immediately I saw it I thought of you . I hope you like it . Anna . " I held the note staring at it for a few more minutes . I knew the handwriting , there was no mistake it was from my cousin . " What did the note say ? " Elorm asked when he noticed my change in mood . The truth is that I felt very bad . Just a year ago she left the country because she got a scholarship to study abroad . I promised to keep in contact with her but I didn 't . I remember her calling me often but I rarely returned her calls . Even after such a long silence she still thought about me . I smiled and realised I had a lot of calling to do . Doesn 't this feel like something we all go through ? Well not all of us get tablets from our cousins , for sure ! But just like Anna God showers us with gifts in many forms even though we sometimes ignore him . Like Eyram we give ourselves so many excuses ; calling abroad is too expensive , I will text her tomorrow , she 's probably busy with her new friends but the truth is that Anna still loved her and that love brought her to the right place . It 's time for all of us to be at the right place with God . If nothing at all we should pray to say thank you : ) two others . " Everything is under control . We need her alive . Tell Rex to get ready to go with the same plan tonight . " Zaky said and the second person left . This was not good . I stared at Kafui trying to guess what she was about to say . My best guess was that she had a history with Zaky . One that obviously didn 't end well . Dede mentioned that she sounded jealous the day they spoke and I sort of got what she meant . " You can believe what I 'm about to say or not . I honestly don 't care anymore . " She started and I sat up . She started her story by telling me she used to date Zaky . My guess was right after all but what she said after that was completely off my guess . " He joined the company last year and we got close and started dating . He became a bit distracted after a while and always went to meet friends from his old job . I got slightly paranoid . Any woman would right ? So I hacked into the company folders for his personal records . I just wanted to know who this so called friend was " She said . I raised an eye brow . Hacking ? Kafui was not as innocent as she looked . " He used to work for Ziltec with a managerial position too . That sort of calmed me down because most of the staff there are men but hey they have female secretaries and stuff right ? " She asked and I nodded . Ziltec made most of the banking software in the country . " I called a friend who worked there and guess what ? " She asked and paused . It took me a few seconds to realise she was waiting for me . " What ? " I said and she continued , " He said there was never an employee there called Zaky . I wasn 't sure what to do so I told him what my friend said and he claimed to work with them on a contract basis . He played the trust card and told me that if I wanted our relationship to go on I should trust him . " Kafui was beginning to sound emotional . " A week later he broke up with me . It didn 't make sense because I decided to trust him then . I threatened to tell everyone he was a fraud but he reminded me about my hacking and that if I wanted to keep my job I should be quiet . He had a point . " She explained . I stopped and thought for a moment . " So why are you telling me ? Aren 't you afraid I will report you ? " I asked . She laughed and told me she had gotten a new job ready for her the next month . " That 's why I didn 't call you . Wanted to secure my new place first . Report him . He is a fraud . If you need any more information you can call me . " She handed me her card , opened the door and got out of my car . " All the best . " She said and walked off . I attempted to call her back but didn 't . Honestly , I didn 't believe her . She was just jealous . I looked down at the card and noticed something strange . She worked at the surveillance department too . The next week Zaky came to my office during lunch time as usual . After work when I was driving him home he asked me to drop him off somewhere else . When he said he needed to see someone from his former office I remembered Kafui . I thought about it and realised he never spoke about his personal life at all . The only part of his family I had heard of was his cousin who owned the apartment he was living in . How come you never talk about your family ? " I asked randomly . Zaky paused and turned to me . " My parents and brother are dead and I don 't have any uncles or aunties . " He said sharply . " I thought the apartment you are in is for your cousin . You must have an auntie or uncle . " I shot back . " He 's , he 's not like , he 's not blood . I just call him that . " He stuttered . He asked me to pull over and he got out of the car . " I need to go , is there a problem ? " He asked staring at me . I shook my head so he nodded and left . I knew it sounded silly but Kafui 's story kept playing in my head . I 'm a girl . No two ways about it . I missed Kwame so much . I couldn 't deny it . It had been seven months since we broke up and I kn . . . My Birthday break So yesterday , 14th September was my birthday ! I had such an awesome time I couldn 't write today 's episode of Closure . My husband , . . . |
Nina has been asleep for a long time . Two hundred and fifty years , to be exact . She doesn 't change , and she doesn 't die . She 's always fifteen . All she wants to do is to wake up , but she can 't . Something - or someone - is keeping her in a perpetual dream state . Leon is a programmer working for a security systems company in the Metro Palisade . His life is fairly ordinary and uneventful . But one day , things change . He begins to see a strange girl in his dreams . He knows she needs his help , but he doesn 't know who she is - or if she 's even real . Leon is willing to risk a lot to find out , and his curiosity finally gets the best of him . The mystery that surrounds Nina is greater than Leon had imagined , however : soon he 's on the run from the company he worked for , the police , the secret service and the criminal underworld . All Leon wants is to save Nina from her endless sleep , but the price of that rescue could be a terrible one . Somehow , Nina is connected with the fabric of reality itself , and there are many dubious people chasing after the legendary Sleeping Beauty in the hopes of wielding ultimate power . When the world begins to fall apart with the sudden , inexplicable outbreak of war , only Leon holds the key to saving everything from complete annihilation - but , unless he can rescue Nina , it may already be too late . She dreamed of a great city . It was a city she had never seen before , a city from the future . Nina would walk its streets , which were full of the strangest people she had ever seen . Some of them were not really people , even . There were things with extra arms , and eyes , and legs , insect - like things and bird - like things , but they all wore clothes and could talk intelligently . A Birdman called her over softly on one street corner and took her by the arm . He had bright red eyes , like those of an albino rat , and in his beak was an unlit cigarette . Nina was scared of him . " Please come with me , " the Birdman said , and they began to walk away down the street , hand in hand . As they passed under a tall arc , which read , " Metro - Entrance , " the Birdman turned to Nina , and said : " Take the train to Stella Maris , Nina . He will be waiting for you . He will help you . " Nina was about to ask who " he " was , but she was already walking down the concrete steps . Just ahead , the multiple horseshoe arcs lit up the subterranean entrance to the Metro . An old - fashioned train whistle sounded . The high - pitched scream of the whistle echoed through the dark halls of the subway , announcing the approaching train as it pulled into the station : a fantastic , antique looking thing . Nina only had enough time to read the destination placard on its side . It spelled , in glowing letters , " Port Stella Maris . " Then she woke up . It was the same old room . Nothing had changed here . Nina looked up and saw the familiar pattern of the ceiling . One of her hands was lying freely now across the pillow . She followed the thin glistening tube with her eyes until they stopped at a small , translucent square bag suspended from a hat rack that stood in the corner . It functioned as a makeshift IV stand . She was no longer dreaming . On the contrary , she felt more fully awake now than she had ever before in her life . The walls had gained solidity and color and suddenly came into focus , as it were . The ceiling began to pull away . It rose higher and higher , unHelen Alexander is a writer and digital artist living in San Francisco , California . After graduating from the Academy of Art University , Helen worked as a video game artist in San Diego and Los Angeles . Currently she is back in San Francisco , at work on several new projects , including a comic book , a children 's book and a dark fantasy / horror novel . You can visit Helen at helenalexander . weebly . com for the latest news on upcoming releases , author interviews and previews of new stories and works - in - progress . Hustle Henry and the Cue - Ball Kid is a fiction work of Western humor with an interesting and amusing cast of characters . Jack Strandburg stopped by the site today with a man 's man - kind of book ! A Western with a load of laughs and fun - saddle up partner ! Read on for a sneak peek into the book ! I find the most challenging part of writing is making decisions on how the plot unfolds . There is so much work done in character profiling and their history from the time they were born until the time the story takes place , so many events in their life , so many people they met , the paths taken and the actions and reactions to characters and events are virtually limitless . Deciding on which one will work best is no easy task . I find outline is necessary for how my brain thinks . I have tried other methods which eventually fizzle out and cause me to sometimes start over and cause major delays in writing the first draft . I spend a lot of time on outlining in order to answer all the questions , detail any research required , in the hopes I have a minimum number of false starts or diversions from the plot and characters . If we agree writer 's block is defined as having absolutely nothing to write , I never experienced it nor do I even acknowledge its existence . There is always something to write , even if it doesn 't apply to the current project . There is a ton of sources on ideas to spark writing and if all else fails , write your personal journal for the day or even why you can 't think of anything to write . One never knows when you might produce a story . The people in the lobby at the Grandy Hotel were stuffed tighter than a boa constrictor following an all - you - can - eat meal of mice . Sheriff Winchester and the old woman in the blue bonnet were the last to arrive . Every table , chair , and object not nailed down was thrown out into the street to make room for the pool table scheduled to arrive from the saloon . The town , with the exception of Nate , his workers , and a few shopkeepers , swarmed like bees from a continent absent of honey to witness the epic pool match between one of its most respected yet feared citizens and one of the best pool players ever to visit Gunshot Junction . One could hardly blame them for their fever pitch enthusiasm . The town 's last memorable event was the resident drunk stumbling into the saloon wearing nothing but a dirty pair of mismatched socks . The musical group notwithstanding , Gunshot Junction 's standards for entertainment were pretty low . The Cue - Ball Kid , known to the town only as J . T . , circled the pool table and studied the arrangement of billiard balls , feeling the searing heat of a thousand and one eyes upon him . Someone reported Dead - Eye Joe was in town . As the Kid looked at the faces of the crowd mottled with anticipation , his spine tingled as though an army of ants decided to take up residence on his back . He stopped pacing , picked up a mug from the table and raised it in a mock toast , then threw his head back and guzzled the beer . Handing the mug to a nearby spectator , he again paced from one end of the table to the other , scratching his chin while considering the next shot , his concentration akin to a saber - toothed tiger stalking its prey . The Kid glanced over at the stack of crisp green bills resting on the table then looked his opponent in the eye and smiled . Twirling his cue stick like a baton , he lowered it slowly to the table , placed it behind the cue - ball , then just as slowly drew it back to make what was likely the final shot of the match . The Kid stared down the thirteen - ball which would give him sixty - one points , exactly what he required to win a match of fifteen - ball . The crowd fell as silent as if attending the funeral service of a loved one . " I 've been watching you for over an hour , " Dowd said , his eyes narrowing to slits . " You 're one hell of a pool player , maybe the best I 've ever seen . If this is your first time , how do you explain your success ? If you say beginner 's luck , you 'll need to remove a pool cue from your ass before you squat to take your next shit . " The Kid didn 't respond , primarily because Dowd eliminated his answer . He looked at the spectators , hoping to buy some time while thinking of an appropriate reply to satisfy the man . Their expressions indicated they anxiously awaited an answer to the question . His Adam 's apple bobbing in his throat like an over - inflated rubber ball , he looked back at Dowd , who returned the Kid 's gaze with threatening eyes receding so far back into his skull they looked like they might drop out the back of his head . The Kid had cause to be scared . Dowd stood six feet three inches and weighed two - hundred twenty pounds . His face was weathered , his beard coarse . Some said he shaved with a Bowie knife . For what the Kid assumed was for intimidation , Dowd removed his shirt before the match started and his biceps were throbbing like an oxygen - deprived heart of a man following three hours of long - distance running . Offending Dowd was the last thing on the Kid 's mind , knowing the man could squash him with no more effort than he would an annoying mosquito . The crowd laughed along in perfect unison but it sounded forced , and for good reason . Everyone in town insisted they were Dowd 's best friend but it wasn 't a relationship borne from a legitimate heartfelt attraction . It stemmed from rumors Dowd killed more than a dozen men for reasons as trivial as insulting his boot size . There were also allegations he 'd recently gunned down an unarmed saloon owner in Coyote Creek . While most men shook in their boots just from his imposing size , the Kid was about to shit into his . Dowd glared back at the Kid with eyes blazing hellfire . " You know what I think , you puny little shit ? I think you 're a ringer , yeah , that 's right , a hustler . " Jack Strandburg was born and raised in Cleveland Ohio . He is a degreed professional with a background in Accounting and Information Technology and recently retired after more than 33 years working for a Fortune 500 company . He has been writing since his teenage years . His first published novel through Solstice Publishing is Hustle Henry and the Cue - Ball Kid , a parody of the movie , Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid . Rachel Connors loved her life , and her job as a manager at a ski resort in Aspen Colorado , but after learning she was ill , she decided to take a long needed vacation to her parent 's home . This was when she met Kyle Landers , who in her absence had moved into her parent 's lives , and before he 'd even met Rachel , Kyle had decided not to like her . Kyle had been alone in the world when Rachel 's parents had taken him in ; and he couldn 't understand why their ungrateful daughter had chosen to distance herself from them . Rachel and Kyle grew closer , and she knew she was falling for him . Everything changed when Rachel was scheduled to meet Kyle , but a call from her doctor summoned her back to Aspen , telling her parents there was a problem at work . When Kyle hears of this , he boards a plane to find her , learning the truth of her condition . Their love blossomed but it was to be short lived when on their flight back to the ranch the plane crashed . Despite an extensive search , Kyle was never found , and Rachel was forced to go on without him . Four years had passed , and Rachel 's relationship with Marcus , her new boyfriend , was moving to a different level , but at the same time , the thought dead Kyle had come out of his coma ; his mind lost in the events four years earlier . After Rachel accepted Marcus ' proposal , Kyle returns , leaving Rachel with a dilemma . For four years Marcus had been by her side , but now Kyle was back , wanting her just as much as he had the day of the crash . She needed to get away to make her decision , so she left for Aspen , only Kyle followed her to try to convince her that they belonged together . Who will Rachel Chose ? Is Kyle 's love enough to bring her back to him ? The snow was coming down hard , quickly blanketing the ground as it fell . Rachel Connors sat on her window sill , watching it fall . The tears rolled down her face , as the thought of going back home haunted her . She hadn 't seen her parents in five years , and wasn 't completely positive she was making the right decision in going back now . She needed to be near family now more than ever . Rachel decided to keep her medical problems to herself . There was no sense in making her parents worry about her . She would tell them nothing . The sound of the cab 's horn jarred her out of her thoughts . She wiped the tears away and grabbed her bags . She would be staying with her parents until after the holidays . The doctors didn 't need to see her until the new year . How am I supposed to forget everything and enjoy a vacation at a time like this ? Rachel sat in the back seat of the cab as it headed to the airport . It would be a long plane ride from Colorado to her parents ' ranch in Tennessee , an hour and a half outside of Nashville . It was always beautiful there . They always teased her growing up about being a singer , but she never had any interest in singing . She always wanted to be a talent agent . She wanted to be the one who found the talent , which was exactly what she did . She was very successful at it , until she received a job offer to manage a friend 's ski resort in Aspen . It was a great escape from the harsh realities of the past , and she grew to love her new life . Rachel took a long nap on the plane . She had been under a lot of stress lately . It seemed like only minutes after her head hit the pillow that she heard the flight attendant say they were landing . She looked around and saw that they were coming onto the runway . She rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms before standing up . Kyle Landers waited for her in the terminal , holding up a sign for a woman he had never met . How do I get myself into situations like this ? he thought as he started to pace back and forth . He couldn 't tell Sue and Tom that he wouldn 't go pick up their daughter for them even though he knew he wouldn 't like her . He couldn 't understand how she could stay gone as many years as she did knowing her parent 's missed her . Kyle would do anything for Sue and Tom . They took him in four years ago when he didn 't have anywhere else to go . He had no family and them gave him a job on the ranch . He looked back and forth for Rachel . He had seen many pictures of her over the years . Kyle decided he didn 't want to give some stuck up , too good to come home to her family , uptight woman a ride . He dropped the sign into the trash can and walked out . He would tell Sue and Tom the flight must have been delayed . He felt a little bad lying to them , but he knew that their daughter could use a good lesson on how you treat people . As she entered the terminal , Rachael looked for her ride . Her parents told her a man named Kyle would be picking her up . Not seeing him , she thought he might be outside , or in the luggage area . As she left , she saw a large cardboard sign lying in the trash can with her name on it . Where was he ? Why didn 't he wait ? The plane was right on time . She collected her luggage and walked out of the building , hopeful of catching a cab . Rachel walked up and down on the sidewalk trying to hail someone , with no luck . All the cabs were busy and she wanted to go home . She grabbed her bag and started to walk . Surely somebody would give her a ride within an hour and a half 's distance , she thought . As she looked around for prospects , she saw a young man getting ready to get into his truck . " Excuse me , sir . My name is Rachel Connors . Can you please give me a ride to my family 's ranch ? I 'll pay for the gas and if you can 't take me all the way there , I would be happy with anywhere close . My ride didn 't show up tKyle shot her a look that let her know he wasn 't in the mood to talk . He couldn 't believe his luck . Of all the people wanting a ride it had to be the one person he wanted to leave at the airport . " Let 's go . I have a lot of work to get done back at the ranch . " She jumped up into his truck not saying a word . Rachel felt a little uncomfortable being with him . Once she buckled in , she looked over at him . " Excuse me , but you haven 't even told me your name . " " Have I done something to offend you ? I don 't even know you , but you seem to dislike me for some reason . " She said , as she played with her hands nervously . " Wait a minute . Are you Kyle Landers ? The same Kyle Landers that works for my father ? Why were you going to leave me here at the airport ? I wasn 't late . " Kyle really didn 't want to get into it with her right then , but it was going to be an hour and half ride back to the ranch . He knew he would have to talk to her at some point in time . " Why don 't we stop to eat ? I haven 't had lunch yet . " They drove for another thirty minutes in silence before turning into the parking lot of a small restaurant . Rachel had eaten at there before and remembered them having good food although she hadn 't been eating much of anything lately . She hoped the trip back home would take her mind off her problems , but not bring up bad memories in the process . They found a table in the back away from everyone . Kyle sat down and picked up a menu without speaking . When the waitress walked by he waved her over to him . " I 'll take a cheeseburger , fries and a coke please . " Rachel saw the waitress look over at her . " I 'll take the same . Thanks . " She looked over at Kyle . " How long have you worked for my father ? " " That 's great . My father really needed help after Bobby . . . . Well , never mind . I 'm glad my father has you . " She took a sip of her soda trying to hold back the tears as she thought about her brother . Kyle looked surprised to hear that Tom had somebody else work for him . He hadn 't ever heard them talk about anyone else . " Who 's Bobby ? I 've never heard the name before . " Rachel looked surprised by the question . " Oh , well . . . Bobby was my brother . You would have liked him . He died six years ago in a car accident . " The food came and they ate in silence . When they were finished , they started back to the ranch . Neither of them spoke . Rachel couldn 't help but wonder why Kyle seemed to dislike her so much . How could he make a judgment so fast without even knowing her ? She sat there staring out the window thinking about when she was younger . She remembered how her and Bobby would go on long walks exploring the entire ranch or taking the horses out across the range . He would run the horse like he was in a race that he had to win . She could remember staying back , watching him go . He feared nothing and embraced life to the fullest . Rachel could feel the tears starting again . She hadn 't been home in so long that she had buried the memories deep down . She always thought about Bobby during the holidays , but more so this year . Bobby would have handled the news from the doctors better than she did . Rachel wiped a tear from her eyes . Kyle glanced over at the saddest person he had ever seen . He was beginning to think maybe he misjudged her . Could she have good reasons for not coming around ? Did it have something to do with Bobby ? He knew that he didn 't know anything about her , but the same time he knew that he wanted to . " Is everything all right ? " he asked . Kyle could tell that she didn 't really want to talk about it and he wasn 't sure that he did either . " It 's not much further , " he said as he wished he could take the words back . Of course she knew it wasn 't much further . She grew up there . He always got flustered when he got nervous . He stared at the road , trying to focus on his driving . Rachel could see her parents ' house coming into view as she got more excited . She couldn 't wait to see her mom and dad . It had been a long time . They had visited her two years ago in Colorado , but she just couldn 't bear to come back home after Bobby died . She 'd stuck around home for about a year after his death and then she had to get out of there . He was not only her brother but also her best friend . She didn 't know how to live without him . She knew that learning how to was one way she could remember him . The truck stopped and Rachel jumped out as fast as she could . She saw her mother standing on the porch with a smile on her face . Rachel ran to her and threw her arms around her . " I missed you , " she said to her mom . They talked for hours , sitting in the living room around the fireplace . Her mother had made hot chocolate and apple spiced cake . Her mother always made the best cakes in the world . At least that was what Rachel always thought . She loved being home again and hated to think about leaving . She decided to go take a nice long , hot bubble bath before going to bed . She needed it after all the stress she had been under lately . She planned to get up bright and early to go riding on the ranch . It had been too long time since she 'd had the chance . " Yes . It 's been a while . I can 't wait . Would you like to go with me ? " she asked , then blushed . The words came out of her mouth without thinking . Rachel went over to one of the stalls and started brushing a midnight black horse . Its coat was shiny and smooth . " This is my horse , buttercup . I haven 't ridden her in a while . I 'll get her ready for me to ride . If you don 't mind ? " " No . Go ahead . I 'll saddle up Ranger for me . " He walked over to the brown horse in the last stall and started getting the horse ready . Ten minutes later , they headed off across the land . Rachel loved the feel of the wind hitting her in the face as she galloped across the fields . Thoughts of her and Bobby racing their horses flooded her mind . She pulled up at a creek to let her horse have some water and a rest . Once dismounted , she looked back to see if Kyle was still there . He was coming up behind her at a slower pace . She walked over and sat down on a big rock and watched her horse drink from the creek . Glancing up at Kyle she said . " It 's okay though . I get paid good money to do what I do . " " Money isn 't everything though . You need family too . " He still wasn 't sure why she moved away , but he was starting to think she had reasons , and maybe he was wrong to misjudge her the way he did . He could tell that she loved her family . Why did she leave ? He wanted to know , but didn 't want to come right out and ask . Rachel sighed . " I know , and I do miss my family . It was really hard on me after Bobby died . I stuck around for about a year afterwards , but then I had to get out of here . Now I don 't know what has been keeping me away . I wish more than ever that I lived here near my parents . " She looked away with a tear in her eye . She didn 't want to cry in front of him , and she didn 't want this complete stranger to know anything about her medical problems . Kyle didn 't know what she meant by that , but he could see a sadness in her eyes . He stood there staring at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen . She was about five foot , five inches tall with long brown hair . She couldn 't be more than a size six . He couldn 't believe that he was looking at her that way . It was only a day ago that he had decided that he didn 't like her . Things were changing for him too . He looked over at her . " I guess you and your brother were close ? " Rachel smiled as the thoughts of Bobby came back to her . " Yes , we were like best friends . We did everything together . It was really hard for me when he died . We had spent the whole day together that day at a baseball game in Nashville . That night Bobby wanted me to go to the store for him and get him some ice cream , but I was tired and said I didn 't want to . He left to go get it himself , and on his way home he was hit by a drunk driver . I can 't help but blame myself . If I had gone to the store , then maybe he would still be here with us . It 's my fault he 's dead . " Rachel couldn 't stop the tears from falling . They were coming down like rainfall . Kyle went over to her and took her into his arms . " It 's not your fault , Rachel . You can 't blame yourself . Is that why you have stayed away so long ? If it is , then I think you need to come home to your family . " Rachel wiped the tears away and walked back to her horse . " You don 't understand . I can 't leave Aspen right now . I have to be there . I wish I could , but I can 't . " She walked over and got up on her horse , riding away without looking back . When she returned to the stables , she removed the saddle and brushed her horse down , thinking about how great it would be if she could move back to the ranch now . But no - she needed to hear from the doctors first . Rachel was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of Kyle walking in with his horse . " How about you let me take you out tomorrow night for dinner to make up for it ? " Kyle had no idea where that came from . He was usually a little on the shy side with women . She looked at him with a little surprise in her eyes . " I would love to go out with you tomorrow night , but I can 't . Mom and Dad are going out of town to the cattle sales , and I promised that I would get some baking done for Thanksgiving for her . You 're welcome to come over and let me cook you something if you would like . We can watch a movie while the cakes are baking . " " Sounds good to me . " Kyle said . " I 'll see you then . Rachel couldn 't believe she had made a date with him . She barely knew him , but she couldn 't help but think how great looking he was . He was six foot tall with sandy blond hair and a great complexion . She could tell that he worked long , hard hours out in the sun - he was well muscled and tan . She walked in the house and saw her mom over by the stove cooking . She went over to her and gave her a hug . " Something smells good . " " I 'm cooking dinner for Kyle while you 're gone . He asked me out and I told him I had to do the baking for you , but that I would cook him dinner . He said yes . " She seemed to be talking a mile a minute . Sue hadn 't seen her daughter look that excited about anything in a very long time . " I 'm glad honey , but I would be careful not to lead him on . You 're still leaving at the end of December aren 't you ? " " Yes , Mom . We won 't get serious . It 's just one date . " Rachel tried to make herself believe it more than her mother . She went over to the cabinet to get the dishes down to set the table . Then she went to get her father for dinner . They all sat down at the table together to eat . Rachel made small talk with her dad about the ranch and the horses . " How 's it going around here lately ? " Tom looked over at his daughter . " Well , I could sure use a good manager to run this ranch . Do you know anyone that can run a whole business , like maybe a huge resort , that might be interested in the job ? " Rachel had no idea that her dad wanted her to run the ranch with him . " Dad , I can 't believe you are asking me this . I would love to , but I can 't right now . I have some stuff that I have to take care of back in Aspen . Hopefully I can get that all taken care of in a few months and then I would love to move back here . " Sue 's face could have lit up the whole room . Happy didn 't come close to the way she felt at that very moment . She would do anything to have her daughter back home . " What do you have to take care of ? " Rachel nearly choked on her iced tea . " What ? Oh , I just need to give a notice at work . Help train somebody . That could take a few months . Then pack everything that I own and move it here . It might take me some time to get things in order , but I will work on it as quickly as I can . " After they all finished eating , Rachel went to take a long hot bubble bath . She filled the tub to the top , and then sank down in the steaming hot water . She felt so relaxed for a few minutes . She laid there in the tub , and before she realized what she was doing , her hand reached up and fell on her breast . She couldn 't help but touch it , but when she did the tears came flooding from her eyes . The doctors had found the lump in a routine exam . They told her that it may be nothing but they would have to run some blood tests and CT scans . If that didn 't give them the results that they wanted then she would have to have a biopsy . Rachel laid there in the bathtub crying until her water went cold on her . She didn 't know how long she had been in there but she knew she didn 't want to get out . After what seemed like hours , Rachel got out and dried off . She stood there looking at herself in the mirror for a few minutes . How could somebody as healthy as she had always been be sick now ? It didn 't make sense , and it didn 't seem fair . Was she being punished for something ? That was all that she ever thought to herself . She got dressed and crawled into bed . Maybe thinking about spending time with Kyle would help take her mind off other things . Rachel woke up to the smell of bacon cooking . She had truly missed being with her family . She usually grabbed something quick and easy for breakfast . It had been a while since she had a nice home cooked meal like the one she smelled downstairs . She threw her robe on and headed down the stairs . When she made it to the bottom , she saw Kyle sitting at the table . She turned around and ran back up the stairs as fast as she could . She couldn 't let him see her like that . She had to make herself beautiful . She ran over to the dresser and started combing her hair and putting some make - up on . She grabbed a red t - shirt and some blue jeans . When she finished getting dressed , she walked into the kitchen to find only her mother there . Her father and Kyle had already left to get started on the ranch work . " Didn 't I hear voices down here a few minutes ago ? " Rachel asked as if she hadn 't seen Kyle sitting there . " Yes , you did . Your father and Kyle already went out to the back field to gather the cattle for tonight 's sale . They will be gone for most of the day . I 'm sorry that you missed them , " her mother told her . " It 's no big deal . I was just wondering . " Rachel said as she acted like she wasn 't really interested . " I think I 'll go into town today and do some sightseeing . It 's been a while since I 've been home . " " That sounds like a great idea , dear . " Sue was glad to see her daughter thinking of it more like home . She had wanted her to move back for many years now . Rachel spent the whole day in town going from store to store looking around . She went into the music store and spent hours in there . She remembered going there with Bobby many times . It had a new owner now , but everything looked the same . Rachel picked up a couple of CDs to buy . After she left the music store she went into a small general store . The first thing that grabbed her attention was a pink ribbon pin for sale for one dollar to help promote breast cancer awareness . It seemed like she noticed more things like that now then she ever had . Rachel walked past the pin without picking it up . She didn 't need any reminders telling her that she might have cancer . It was scary enough thinking about it on her own and knowing that she was going through it alone . Rachel couldn 't tell her parents they could lose the only child they had left . She spent the rest of the day in town and then headed back home . She wanted to say goodbye to her parents before they left for their three day trip . They had asked her if she wanted to go with them , but she didn 't want to leave the ranch . It had been too long since she had been back there . Rachel didn 't want to think about leaving . She only had six weeks before she had to go back home for her doctor visit . That 's when she would get the results to the CT scan and blood work . She didn 't understand why the doctors couldn 't get the results before the holidays , but they said the lab was overloaded with work and they were way behind . She didn 't like it , but she understood . She pulled into the driveway and saw the cattle trailer hooked up to the back of her father 's truck . She had made it just in time to say goodbye before they left . Rachel walked in and found her mother in the kitchen making notes . " What are you doing mom ? " " I 'm making you a list of pies , cakes , and breads that I would like you to make for me while I 'm gone . I 'll be delivering them to the church when I get back . They are making baskets for needy families . " Sue told her as she handed her the list . " Wow , Mom . You have enough stuff on this list to feed the whole state . I 'll be busy all night and tomorrow too . " Rachel pretended to be angry , but the whole time she loved every minute of it . She hadn 't done any baking in years . She used to love making things with her mom . It was going to be fun being in the kitchen all weekend . She walked over and gave her mom a hug . " I love you . Have a good trip . " Rachel went back into the kitchen to try to figure out what she wanted to fix for dinner that night . She wanted it to be perfect for Kyle . She put some chicken breasts in the oven to cook . Then she peeled some potatoes to make mashed potatoes . She sliced one of her mom 's fresh loaves of bread and put some butter on the table . Rachel had everything almost finished when she heard Kyle pull in . She ran upstairs to spritz on her favorite perfume before he walked in . After double - checking her hair in the mirror , she hurried downstairs to the kitchen . A decaying body of an eight - year - old girl is found near a sand dune on the Navarre - Pensacola Beach road . The law enforcement officers soon discover she was actually the second victim and the terror begins in Northwest Florida . Although every precaution is taken by parents and school officials , the killings continue . There is fear in the streets , in the schools , in the playgrounds and in every home . The Sheriff departments of four counties , the FDLE and the FBI seem powerless to stop it . The Ghost , a mystery thriller about a serial killer in Northwest Florida by Mark Conte has just been released by Solstice Horizon Publishing . Based on a true story about a serial killer who never left any evidence to identify himself . It was as if he committed his crimes and than disappeared like a ghost . The ebook is available on Amazon . com and Barnes & Noble $ 1 . 99 . The print editions is $ 15 . 99 . Alaska is a state of the United States in the northwest tip of the North American Continent and is bordered by Canada to the Southeast and the frigid waters of the Arctic Ocean in the North and the Pacific Ocean at the West and South borders , separated from Russia by the Bering Strait . The winters are long and bleak with temperatures often falling to twenty degrees below zero ; the bitterness of cold that numbs your fingers and stings any part of your flesh that is exposed to the freezing air and residents do not venture into the marshes surrounding Fairbanks , but this was not an ordinary night in Fairbanks . There was a psychotic killer roaming the streets loose who had killed eleven children and did terrible things to their dead bodies and this was a search mission to find another body of a child and a chance to find something that would lead to the capture of this demon . It could be anyone , their friend , their neighbor , their relative , the postman , the police officer in a parked police car . Then there was the guilt . The night was laden with it . Visions of the dead children hung above the hearts and minds of the good people of Fairbanks , Alaska . There was enough blame to go around for everyone . The parents who had assumed the school was a safe place . The teachers who were entrusted to keep the children from harm . The school bus drivers who only glanced away for a moment . The police who were expected to catch the killer after his first kill and the defiling of the body and body parts and finally , the Federal Bureau of Investigation whose motto was " We always get our man . ' Except this time they didn 't get him and with every discovery of a new body , always an eight - year - old girl , the FBI looked more helpless . Sometimes the bodies were carefully hidden behind a small bushy area . Sometimes they were stuck in crevices in the rock formations and sometimes the new snow had fallen to hide them from being discovered so that the killer could go back over and over again , doing unimaginable things to the body for his deChief Bianco put together the largest manhunt force of city police , state police and FBI agents together with volunteers from the local military bases to try to find the body of the missing child . Fairbanks is located in the central Tanana Valley straddling the Chene River and the Tamana River . North of the city is a chain of hills that rises in steps until it reaches the White Mountains and the Yukon River . To the South of the city is the Tanana River below the river is the Tanana Flats , an area of marsh and bog that stretches for more than 100 miles ( 160 km ) until it rises into the Alaska Range . This is where they had discovered the other bodies . Snow had fallen overnight , making the open land look clean and pristine . However , the peaceful countryside was now being invaded by a massive manhunt with hundreds of law enforcement officers from every agency and from surrounding military bases in search of little Kitty Wells who had disappeared from her school at recess time ten days ago . The line was ten miles across with no more than five feet between each of the searchers . They shouted orders to each other in loud voices , disturbing the night creatures of the forest that walked , crawled and flew overhead , startled by so many humans who usually came in twos and threes to shoot them and hang them on their wall . The larger animals ; moose , wolves , and bears didn 't venture anywhere near this invasion of their world . The Alaska Fugitive Task Force , an intr - agency collaborative of Alaska State Police Departments who , along with the FBI had been spearheading the search for the killer flanked the line of searchers on both ends looking for signs that Kitty Wells was another victim of this maniac the Fairbanks Police called The Ghost because it was obvious he had never been arrested and he left nothing of himself the police could use to identify him . It was as if he committed his crimes and suddenly disappeared . Seven hours later , they found her . Flares went up into the air from members of each group , startling the night with bright colored flashes like exploding stars in angry universe . A fitting requiem for Kitty Wells and her parents . They almost missed her . The new snow had covered most of the area , but her hand was oddly sticking out of the snow , along with her foot . Her skull was crushed as were the other victims . There was ten days of semen in her body . Seasoned State Troopers and police detectives were throwing up all over the snow . A forensic team carefully took everything that was not a part of the forest and finally , the body of the child was carried away . Although the children were always taken during the day , it was the night that held the greatest fear for the parents of little children . Families walked together or at least with another person to protect themselves and their children from this monster . They called each other every hour to make sure they were safe . They comforted each other and no child was allowed to go out her door alone . And then it was over . Spring came to Alaska and the days were long . The sun barely sets in Fairbanks at solstice , making one continuous sunset and sunrise - occasionally displaying outstanding colors throughout the short night . No child went missing for two months . No grizzly body was found in the outskirts of the city and no mobilized search parties were formed . Three months passed without incident . Four months , five months . When six months had passed police chief , Andy Bianco , who along with the FBI investigated every person who had moved from Fairbanks to another city to apprehend this killer . Every transient that came through Fairbanks . Every person who visited or had occasional business dealings in the area as far back as three years and could not find a link . James Bennett was an ordinary man . He didn 't have the chiseled looks from his father 's side of the family . There was nothing about him that stood out . His mother once said he looked like every other plain man in Orlando , Florida where the family had spent the early years of their lives , and that no one would be able to pick him out in a police lineup . Not that James was the kind of man that could commit a crime , sensational or otherwise . He was just plain James , five foot ten inches , one hundred and eighty - seven pounds , light brown hair , coco colored eyes , looking exactly like a man approaching fifty years of age . However , that is what Christine liked most about him , a quiet man who was uncomfortable in a loud party and happily accepted his proposal of marriage in the summer of June 2001 . Not that Christine was any beauty herself as her father often noted . At five - foot one inch , she was the shortest member of her family and always twenty to twenty - five pounds heavier than she wanted to be . Her hair had already started to turn gray in streaks and her eyes were small and unspectacular . In a way , this was the perfect marriage and the wedding was a blessed event for both families . After all , they were both 39 years old when they married and hope for grandchildren seemed to be disappearing for both grandparents . But love and marriage came to James and Christine and it was a storybook wedding . They moved to Seaside , Florida , and bought a home they called their dream house . The Bennett home was a modest one by Seaside standards , the value just barely seven hundred and fifty dollars . The property " Kano " is a Blue and White Charleston style two - story house with a tower . Inside , there were three queen sized bedrooms , a bunkroom , and three full baths , one of which had a jetted tub . The tower was outfitted with an antique day bed , and was Mary Sue 's favorite daytime hide - a - away . Oak hardwood floors shined from the living room to the bedrooms and there were top - of - the - line kitchen appliances , including a new French - door style refrigerator . James was so happy , he began to become nauseated himself in the morning , shunning breakfast and suddenly getting an appetite for pickles and ice cream and other strange concoctions . The doctor called it sympathy pregnancy . They were an odd pair at the dinner table . Mary Sue was a gifted child . She walked at eleven months old . She learned to read at three years of age and entered preschool at the age of four , and at five years old , she became an A student in her first grade class which continued until her current fourth grade class . She scored between 95 and 99 on her achievement tests , depending on her mood . She loved to learn . She had a good memory and the ability to learn quickly because she retained everything she learned . Mary Sue had dark high cheekbones and a nose that resembled the great Greek statues of Gods ; a feature of which she was very proud . She would , on occasion , hold it high in the air to show her displeasure of a school rule or family law . She had the darkest brown hair among the Bennett family , and she inherited her Uncle Adam 's dimple on her tiny chin . When Mary Sue awoke that morning , she was excited and ready for her day at school . She ran to the bathroom to take a shower . James opened the door to her bathroom and called to her . " Daddy , I 'm in the shower ! " James went down the stairs , kissed his wife and walked out to his car . He had complete faith in life and the world around him . He drove to work humming to a tune on the radio . Mary Sue Bennett came down the rear circular stairs that led directly to the kitchen , dressed and ready for school with her backpack strapped on her back . She walked to the solid oak wood kitchen table and took the Frosted Flakes box and shook the flakes in a bowl . She poured milk from a carton into the bowl and shoveled two tablespoons into her mouth . " I slammed it , " Mary Sue said . " I may get an A + . " She took her last spoon of Frosted Flakes in her mouth and wiped her mouth and chin with a napkin . She rose from the table and adjusted her backpack . Mary Sue looked both ways before she stepped out of the door . Seaside was quiet and beautiful this morning . Even the birds were singing . She walked to the far corner and waited for the school bus . A red van drove by . It had a metal , cartoon termite attached to the roof of the van . The eyes were big and goofy . Mary Sue giggled and the driver smiled at her . She smiled back . The red van drove to the end of the street , then made a u - turn and drove back to where Mary Sue was standing . He stepped out of the van . He held a tire iron in his wet sweaty right hand . He smiled at Mary Sue , then looked down both ends of the empty street . He gripped the tire iron and swung it hard on Mary Sue 's head , killing her instantly . He caught the body before it hit the ground and quickly threw it on the floorboard of his van . He casually looked ahead of the van , then started the motor and drove away slowly so as not to attract attention . Mark Conte has had fiction , poetry , articles and guest columns in 67 publications , including Yankee magazine , Crazy Horse , Southern Poetry Review , Potomac Review , Poetry International , Piladelphia Daily News and New York Times . He has two books of poetry , Walking on Water , 1986 and The Judsas Scroll , 2004 . He has published three novels , In the Arms of Strangers , 2003 , Five Days to Eternity , 2004 , Of Flesh and Stone , 2009 and a collection of stories , Delilah and Other Stories . 2001 . He was director of the Florida State University Poet series and appointed Master Poet by the Florida Arts Council . He is a member of the Authors Guild and the Academy of American Poets In the future , Earth is controlled by one man , Supreme Leader Jeremiah Johnson . Fueled by a desire to control the world , Jeremiah Johnson infiltrated himself into the mega - churches and led a campaign of suppression and subversion that resulted in one Church of Enlightenment , with himself as leader . The political influence of the Church extended into the political arena where Jeremiah Johnson was also elected Supreme Leader of the World . With both the power of the church and the government in his hands , nothing stands between Jeremiah and world domination . Henry Thomas ' parents were on a mission to uncover evidence that would undermine the doctrine that is the foundation of the Church of Enlightenment . Ten year old Henry watched as his parents were deemed heretics and violently murdered by a death squad of Church fanatics . Captured by fanatics himself , Henry is sent to a Church orphanage to be reprogrammed . After six years of captivity he manages to escape and begin a life on the run . He meets the love of his life , Annie Pearl , who shares his hatred of the oppression that has created a world of extreme wealth and extreme poverty . When Annie is murdered for her outspoken views , Henry 's life is set on a course of revenge and hatred . His mission to destroy Supreme Leader Johnson will take him all the way to the Martian deserts surrounding the new Mars colony . On Mars he hopes to find the proof his parents were seeking , the evidence that will topple an empire and exact revenge for the murder of those he loved . When I volunteered to post my first guest blog I think I perhaps I leaped before looking , a calamity of the inexperienced and eager you might say . Then I realized the subject of the blog , paranormal . Yikes I am a science fiction writer , I thought . In a near fit of desperation I resorted to renting a paranormal movie from red box . Such drivel I never hope to see again . Despaired and while wondering still , I risked a second , sadly it was much more of the same . To what depths have Hollywood slunk I asked myself . But who am I to judge , they sell books . One would be wise to pay heed . Who knows , I might even learn something . So after much gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands I decided to sit back in my favorite chair with my faithful dog Hobo next to me , open a good German beer , put on some rock and roll and tell you a story about a man I once met . One who I am convinced was and is a time traveler . Paranormal , Yeah I know but this will have to do for now . I am still trying to get my head around the paranormal thing . I remember that day very clearly , in retrospect I wish I had paid much closer attention . It was a typical August afternoon in south Florida , where I live , hot , sticky and between rainstorms . I needed gas so I pulled into one of the large chain stations . As I watched a brand new , four door Cadillac , one so new I did not recognize the model for certain , pulled up to the pump next to me . So quite as all new Caddy 's must be for I have never had one so I can only dream . An elderly man with short cut , solid white hair got out from the driver 's side front . He was wearing a long sleeved , light pink shirt and yellow dress pants , so new as to have the creases from the package still . If you have ever bought a long sleeved dress shirt from one of the chain stores you know what I am talking about . OH and that was yes on the long - sleeved dress shirt and dress pants in Florida in August unbelievably uncomfortable in the hot , sticky weather . Now Florida has all kinds of people from all over , all the time , especially during tourist season . So he was kinda dressed like a Canadian golfer . So as I watch he stares at the gas pumps completely perplexed . Again this is Florida and we have lots of retirees some with lots of money and many more without . He must have noticed my staring as he approached me , taking out his wallet as he got closer . " How do you pay for the fuel , " he asked me . In what I realized later was perfect , unaccented English . In itself that is certainly not an unusual question , if one were in a foreign country . As he opened his wallet for me to see it had a stack of one hundred dollar bills at least a quarter of an inch thick . In addition I saw at least 3 major credit cards , all and the wallet perfectly new . " You can use either the cash or the credit cards . If you want to use the cash you will have to pay inside first , " I said with a smile , I am not always able but I help with kindness as often as I can and perhaps not as often as I should . My wife reminds me when I encounter an unpleasant person to kill them with kindness for I have not walked a mile in their shoes . Oh and that good manners are free . Sorry back to the story . My answers seemed to both concern and perplex my strange new friend . It was obvious to me that he did not want to go inside so I showed him how I used my debit card . " Then you enter the zip code , " I said . A light seemed to go off in my friends head and he smiled " Thank you , " he said as he turned to go back to his car . He paused turning back around to face me , " How much can you get ? " , he asked me concern once again on his face . " As much as you want " , I answered . I remember thinking how odd a question that was indeed in this day and age . There hasn 't been any gas rationing in south Florida since the season we got hit by 4 hurricanes back in 2004 . Now I am curious , but I do not yet suspect that my new friend is or may be a time traveler , just a bit confused perhaps . I mean new place , new customs and forms of dress , understandably so . I have traveled to a lot of places in my life and the difference just a couple of states can make is amazing . So I recognized someone out of place as I have been there . So I decide to watch out for my new friend as there are lots of two legged rats in Florida too . He proceeds to put exactly two gallons of gas in a 4 door , gas guzzling Cadillac . Carefully replacing the nozzle just as he had seen me do it just minutes ago . He then gets back in the Caddy and pulls away . I remember thinking how quiet those new Caddies were I didn 't even hear him start the engine . A couple of days later I am sitting out on my lanai trying to come up with the answer to a particularly knotty paragraph on book two when I realized what I had really seen . No way , I told myself I am just imagining it . Then I remembered the two gallons of gas and it snapped into place . The odd dress , the unfamiliarity with the gas pump , questioning how to pay , then how much can you get . Now it all made sense . I had met a time traveler indeed . Yes I know that conventional scientific theory says time travel can 't exist . To that I say and once the world was known to be flat . Simply because we don 't not know how it works or even if it is possible does not preclude the fact that it may be possible that in our ignorance and we just don 't know how . So let 's look at the main facts . Aside from an odd taste in fashion mister mysterious seemed quite like you and I if we were visiting a new place . But the gas pumps ? I could see not knowing how to operate the pump ; sometimes that task nearly eludes me . Soon they will be too smart indeed I think . But what industrialized country in the world does not have gas pumps of some sort ? If they have cars they have gas pumps of some sort . Add to that the question of how to pay , and I ask what industrialized nation in the modern world does not use either cash or credit cards ? Certainly any wealthy tourist would be intimately familiar with both of them . But the final question is the one that clinches it for me . How much fuel can you purchase ? Not even proper American idioms , never mind the fact that there has been no gas rationing anywhere that I know of in the last few years anywhere , certainly not in the U . S . However the proof for me is in the purchase of only two gallons of gas for a four door Cadillac , one known for its gas guzzling ways . I could and have spent hours arguing my case to mostly deaf ears but I haven 't until now been public about what I saw . I know this fly 's in many scientific faces . I guess a valid question would be was it real or am I seeing things that are not what I think them to be . Or is a logical explanation simply beyond my grasp of reality . I invite your thoughts and comments on the matter I am a navy brat thanks to my Dads attachment to the US Pacific Fleet . My family is from Kentucky and both sides have lived there since just after the revolutionary war . I am a long time resident of St Lucie county Florida . My wife of 19 years is a Florida native , born in Stuart Fl , a cracker and proud of it . We have 1 daughter Corri who is currently a full time college student . Then there is the family dog Hobo and his two feline friends Oscar the grouch and Biggin kitty . All of who have inspired characters to write about . How I got into writing is an unusual chain of events culminating in my first book , Revenge from Mars . I was working for Bellsouth as an information operator and had been for 15 years when the office I was in was closed due to downsizing . As I had just enough seniority to receive severance pay equal to 1 years ' salary I decided to go back to school . I chose culinary school as I thought I could cook and I thought I liked it . While I did graduate from Le Cordon Bleu with honors , I quickly came to realize that I was not cut out to work in a fast paced kitchen . You see I have two speeds , slow and slower . And when I get stressed , I downshift rather than speeding up . I was working in the kitchen of a breakfast and lunch country store in downtown Fort Pierce . This is where I grew up when I met an author who was giving a presentation at the library just down the street . That seemed like a cool thing to do . Later that evening I remembered some advice given to me by the language professor at Le Cordon Blue . I had finished an in class essay much faster than anyone else in the class . The professor looked at my work and asked how many books I had written . I didn 't think anything of it at the time after all I was training to be a Chef not an author . It was what he said next that I remember the most , " Maybe you should " . I did not know it at the time but Professor Wolfish was a former big college professor who taught professional writing classes for many years before . So that night I sat down at my computer and sketched out what was to be the opening scene in my first novel . That was easy I remember thinking . Little did I realize I had embarked on a new career . One that gives me much more satisfaction than any job I have ever had and there has been many . I have just finished my second novel and I have been picked up by Solstice Publishing . All of this , and hopefully more , because of a comment made by a well - meaning professor to whom I shall be forever grateful . |
Leave a Comment » Last October I was at a conference with a friend , Hope . I had finished a novel and was looking for an idea . At the conference I attended a seminar on storytelling and the leader quoted Henningway 's answer to the challenge to tell a story in as few words as possible . His response was " For sale , baby shoes , never worn . " I was fascinated with the idea and after talking it over with Hope the entire ride home , I began this story . Brad Torrence is next on the chopping block at the newspaper where he works . Hungry for any source he can find , he runs across an ad in the classifieds : For Sale : Nursery Items , Never Used . It 's the lead he 's been looking for . Thinking a piece about the loss of a child will give him the edge he needs to keep his job , Brad follows up . He doesn 't expect a single man to answer . Brad digs into his stories and Cory 's life , eager to know everything about the man who 's caught his attention . But when a lead points him to the hospital where Cory works , he unearths a mystery that might have been safer left buried . Brad 's search for a story could prove deadly … . The man on his doorstep was as young as he 'd sounded on the phone , with deer - in - the - headlights eyes and a nervous smile . " Hello , I 'm Brad Torrence from the Crier , " he said and extended his hand . The kid looked a bit like an excited puppy . " Cory Wolfe , " he said , and they shook hands . Cory stepped back so Brad could enter and then closed the door . He motioned toward the living room . He waited for Brad to take a seat and then he sat in his favorite leather chair . " This is a great room , " Brad said with a touch of awe in his voice . Then he sat and waited . Cory got the impression he was waiting for something . " You wanted to ask me some questions ? I 'm a little unsure why you 'd want to interview me , " Cory said . " But I 'll try to help . " " Wait , let 's back up . There 's never been a wife . I think we have a misunderstanding of some kind . I 'm not married and never have been , " Cory clarified . Brad became jittery , and for a second Cory thought he might hyperventilate . " Yes . Like I said , I never had a wife , but I was getting ready to have a baby , " Cory said . " I had a partner a few years ago , but he wasn 't interested in children , though I was . That and , well , other things , doomed the relationship … . " " I can , " Brad said . " Your ad caught my attention , and I thought there was a story behind it . I 'll admit that I was expecting to do a story about mothers recovering from grief after the loss of a child . My mother lost three babies after me . " Cory nodded thoughtfully and then stood up . " Come on , " he said , and Brad stood up . Cory led him up the stairs , and at the small landing , he opened the door and turned on the light . He hated entering this room now . Brad stepped inside , but Cory remained in the hallway , physically unable to enter . " This was to be Adam 's room . I picked out the furniture , painted the walls . I spent days picking out just the right color blue . Then I asked a friend to paint the teddy bears on the walls , and we even added stars to the ceiling . " Cory didn 't look up . Unable to take any more , Cory stepped away from the door and waited for Brad to come out of the room . Then Cory turned off the bedroom light and closed the door . Without saying anything more , Cory led the way down the stairs and back to the living room , where he once again sat in his chair . Cory wasn 't sure why he opened up , but he did . " About a year ago , I found out my best friend , Eileen , was pregnant . She wasn 't married and was barely able to take care of herself . Eileen was wonderful , but there wasn 't a maternal bone in her body . She 'd decided that she wanted to put the baby up for adoption , and I asked if I could adopt the child . " Cory 's voice broke , and he yanked a tissue from the box on the lower shelf of the end table . He never thought he 'd keep tissues in various rooms of his house , but for months now he 'd needed them . " Eileen was thrilled . She would still get to be a part of her baby 's life , and that was all she wanted . " " After we found out she was having a boy , I came up with the name , and Eileen liked it , so we started referring to him as Adam . I bought the nursery things and fixed up the room upstairs . Everything was ready . " Cory paused and blew out his breath . He needed to get himself under control . What he wasn 't prepared for was Brad to reach over and touch his hand . Cory hadn 't been touched in quite a while , and he liked it . The gesture was probably a breach of journalistic integrity and objectivity or something like that , but it was what he desperately needed . " Please , take your time , " Brad told him . " I 'll listen . " Cory thought he might have seen tears in Brad 's eyes , but it was hard to tell through his own . " Eileen was about eight months pregnant , and she was at home . I hadn 't heard from her that day , so I stopped by after work . I found her on her kitchen floor , where she 'd fallen . " Cory figured he might as well finish the story and get it over with . " The autopsy showed that she had a blood vessel burst in her brain . It was probably a defect she 'd had since birth , and it burst . They said she died pretty quickly . " Cory shrugged . " Some . I actually found a group for people who lost children in Harrisburg - eleven women and me . The thing was , at the time I didn 't consider my grief as bad as theirs . I wasn 't the one who 'd carried the child , but … . " Leave a Comment » As he answers the Skype call , Spencer 's face appears in the window . Grainy , but not freezing , his slow easy smile is shy and tentative , like he 's not sure what 's going to happen . The rapid tapping on the desktop betrays his nerves , but when JP 's corresponding picture comes up on his screen , he grins , ready for the interview . Well , I 'm glad it did ! It 's been four years since we got to sit down and work on a book together . How 's school ? We have gotten a lot of interest on Spaaron . Companies are either looking to buy the software out right , or hire us to work for them . I keep trying to get Aaron to consider what he will do after college , but well … He is better than he was when we first met . Not as freaked out by things like cloudy days or train whistles . He can hold a conversation when he needs to and even joined an online therapy group . But , he still doesn 't like to be touched - doesn 't like to go out , or let people really see him . He is coping , but not really living . Well , aside from people teasing me about dating Jake Bass . ( He grins again ) . Spencer isn 't a very common name , and being deaf makes me more recognizable . There was a bit of fanfare at school when it first came out , but Aaron and I ignored it and went on about our business . What an interesting question . I think if I had to pick one , it would be more closed captioning for movies in the theater . I would love to be able to take Aaron to the movies and actually know what was going on . Most people may assume because of the deafness , that I see the world in black and white with no richness or depth . That is not true . I like so many of the same things everyone else likes , just from a different perspective . I have two and since it is my interview . I am going to use them both . First , I would want to go back in time and prevent the attack on Aaron . Right now , I cannot wait to get a job and get out on my own . I love my dad , but watching him and his new girlfriend make googly eyes at each other makes me insane . I want Aaron and me to get our lives started together . Well , it is a dream anyway . Well , my dad and I were close , so coming out was not really a big deal . I am sure he already knew anyway by the time I got around to telling him . At school I got the shit kicked out of me anyway for being deaf , the topic of being gay never came up . My very few friends knew . A couple of the guys in the deaf program knew . We fucked around and experimented . But really , at least for me , it was not a big deal . I would love to say that I am not , but that is a lie . I love sex . I miss sex . I love the intimate moments that Aaron and I have together , but I will not cheat on him - ever . I love him more than I thought I could love anyone . But to never have sex again , I do not know what will happen with that . I can 't describe what it 's like to want to scream every minute of every day . Two years after a terrifying night of pain destroyed his normal teenage existence , Aaron Downing still clings to the hope that one day , he will be a fully functional human being . But his life remains a constant string of nightmares , flashbacks , and fear . When , in his very first semester of college , he 's assigned Spencer Thomas as a partner for his programming project , Aaron decides that maybe " normal " is overrated . If he could just learn to control his fear , that could be enough for him to find his footing again . Award winning romance novelist , J . P . Barnaby has penned over a dozen books including the Forbidden Room series , the Little Boy Lost series , and Aaron . As a bisexual woman , J . P . is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago . A member of Mensa , she is described as brilliant but troubled , sweet but introverted , and talented but deviant . She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica , which is , of course , far more interesting . The spare time that she carves out between her career and her novels is spent reading about the concept of love , which , like some of her characters , she has never quite figured out for herself . Rock finds Justin confusing . While saving a busload of children hanging off the edge of a highway overpass , the cute rookie is cool and confident . But when Rock tries to chat him up , he stutters and chokes . Frustrated , Rock teases Justin , and boy , is his temper hot . Though Rock and Justin share a steamy kiss , Justin keeps his distance , still tongue - tied . Then , when Justin is injured on the job , Rock takes him to the hospital , and some of the barriers start to crumble . But getting his enigmatic sweetheart to open up brings up more questions about Justin 's past . Excerpt : About an hour later , a speeding car heading out of town caught Justin 's attention , and he flipped on his lights and pulled out to follow the car . He 'd just gotten behind the driver and was about to radio in the call when a long screech , like nails on a blackboard , crawled up his spine . Justin looked up from the car in front of him and saw a school bus facing him on the freeway overpass . It took him a second to realize the bus was hanging over the edge of the overpass , and by then , he 'd already disengaged from the speeder , who had sped up again and was heading up onto the freeway . " Bus accident on I - 81 South , " Justin radioed in . " Don 't know number of people involved . Need emergency services . Bus hanging over overpass , need South Hanover closed both ways . On my way to assist at the scene . " Traffic was already stopping on the surface streets . Justin needed to get up to the freeway , but the lane to the on - ramp was clogged , so he went up an off - ramp and turned so he went the wrong way down the freeway shoulder , siren and lights blaring so he could get to the bus . It was teetering on the edge , and as soon as he stopped his car and got out , he could hear children on the bus , screaming . Cars on the highway were slowing , and Justin got the first cars to hold . He knew he was backing things up , but he needed to help those kids . " Stay there , " he told the drivers , and they held still , effectively closing the freeway . The bus screeched , and Justin saw it move slightly . " It 's all right , kids , " Justin yelled , and the screaming subsided . " I want you all to slowly move to the back of the bus . Don 't move fast or suddenly , but slowlywalk to the back of the bus . " He saw the kids begin to move inside and heard sirens approaching from what seemed like all directions , but he kept his eyes on the kids . " That 's it . Keep walking slowly , " Justin encouraged as the back wheels of the bus settled back down onto the pavement . " Good , now all of you stay where you are . We 're going to get you out , but it will take a few minutes . No one move , " Justin said . " Is the driver with you ? " he asked the kids through an open window . " It 's okay , you 're going to be all right . We 're going to help you , and then we 'll get the driver out too . I promise , " Justin said , trying anything he could to calm them down . Other emergency vehicles arrived , and Justin continued working to keep the children calm . " Is anyone hurt besides the driver ? " Justin asked . " How many are hurt ? " Rockland Sparks asked him , and for a brief second Justin 's composure failed him . Damn , why did he have to be the one who responded ? Every time the EMT was around , Justin got completely tongue - tied . Rock , as everyone called him , was just that : built solid , with arms that stretched his shirt sleeves . Justin swallowed and opened his mouth to respond , hoping like hell some sort of sound came out . Dante Rivers just lost the rodeo by two one hundredths of a point : he 's frustrated as hell , needs to get laid , and he knows just where to go . That night he meets Ryan Abbott and catches his eye - Ryan watched the rodeo and is still riding high on the rush . The chemistry between them ignites , but Dante , unable to deal with complications , leaves while Ryan 's asleep . Ryan figures he 'll never see Dante again , but they 're fatefully reunited when Dante 's grandfather , Hy , hires Ryan to help straighten out some old investments . The attraction between Ryan and Dante still sizzles . Sex slowly turns to more , but obstacles abound : Hy 's failing health , Dante 's homophobic sponsor , an attack on Ryan , and Dante 's own struggle with his identity . Any one thing would be enough to separate them permanently … unless they both decide to hang on for the wild ride . Dante stepped out onto the arena floor , the sand crunching lightly beneath his boots . A murmur went through the small crowd gathered at the rail , and a bit of the excitement that had begun to slip away returned . He eyed the crowd and saw a group of kids - looked like a scout troop or something . He walked in their direction and was greeted by young , awed faces and even a few jumps . " Did you like it ? " Dante asked , and they answered yes as he took their programs and signed each one . " Hello , sweetheart , " Dante said as he crouched carefully in front of a little girl next to the boys . She had on a little cowgirl outfit and was holding her daddy 's hand . She looked at him shyly and then up at her daddy . Dante signed a number of programs and then stepped back , waving to everyone before turning to leave the arena floor . Some of the other riders were still signing , but he 'd had more than enough . Just before he reached the tunnel , he saw the scoreboard , the numbers still displayed . Two one - hundredths of a point . The numbers seemed to mock him . Anger welled inside as the fatigue that had begun to take over subsided . Dante turned away and marched back toward the locker room . Was he ? Dante took stock of his injuries . " I 'm fine , " he answered . " I 'll see you soon . " Harvey nodded and then hurried away toward the exit , pulling his phone out of his pocket as he went . Dante went back into the locker room . He took off his vest with a sigh and set it aside before stripping off the chaps and the rest of the gear , packing it away before heading toward the exit . " Tough luck about the score , " Bobby Varton said as they passed . Dante paused for a split second , trying to figure out if the sentiment was genuine or a rib . Knowing Bobby , it could go either way . Dante nodded before moving on . He left the arena carrying his bag and walked to his truck , parked in the designated area . The lot was largely empty , most everyone already gone . Dante unlocked the door and threw his gear behind the seat before climbing in . He started the engine and willed the air - conditioning to cool the damned sauna down . When the cold air began to blow , Dante closed the door , but he didn 't pull out . Not yet . His leg shook with excess energy . Tired as he was , he couldn 't stop his heart from pounding . " Two hundredths of a goddamned point , " Dante yelled , pounding his fist against the steering wheel . " I was that fucking close ! " His entire body thrummed with energy that wasn 't going to go away . Adrenaline still coursed through him , and it would for a long time yet . As hyped up as he was , from his jittery legs to his cock throbbing in his jeans , it wasn 't going to dissipate soon . He threw the truck in gear and tore out of the parking lot and onto the access road before getting on the freeway and heading toward the north end of Houston . There was no way he was going to waste all this energy . What he wanted , no , needed , was a hard , down - and - dirty fuck . And he knew just where to get it . Leave a Comment » The Fight Within was just released this past week . It 's the follow up to The Good Fight . Both of these stories are very close to my heart since both of them have a basis in fact . The Good Fight is Akecheta and Jerry 's story . It deals with how native American children can be caught in the South Dakota child welfare system . This story was inspired by a true story and something similar has played out many times . The Fight Within is Paytah and Bryce 's story and it attempts to demonstrate that the povery on reservations not only means that people don 't have enough to eat or that their lives are hard , but it also tries to show that with that poverty comes other forces that turn people into victims . These stories are poverful and I love them both very much . They truly come from my heart . Bryce Morton needs a change of scenery . Since his partner 's death a year ago , he 's become withdrawn and quiet , so his friends , Jerry Lincoln and Akecheta ( John ) Black Raven , convince him to go camping with them on a Sioux reservation . Though he 's not immediately sure he 's done the right thing , Bryce becomes more interested when he meets Paytah , the man who owns the reservation 's trading post . Paytah Stillwater 's life is filled with hurt , and sometimes the only thing he has left is pride . After being abused as a child and disbelieved when he spoke up , he has withdrawn into himself - but he can never truly put his past behind him , because the source of his pain still lives on the reservation . Paytah is proud of his heritage and careful with his heart , but when Bryce commits a selfless act of kindness for one of the reservation 's children , the walls around Paytah 's heart begin to melt . Bryce and Paytah each fight the pain within them . When Paytah 's abuser sets his sights on one of the reservation youngsters , Bryce and Payton must set their individual fights aside . Finding a way to stop the abuser unites them to fight their way forward - together . As promised , the camping place wasn 't far from Kiya 's , and it was beautiful , with a small stream running through a shallow but lush valley . They unloaded the stuff , and the guys put up the tents . Bryce wasn 't sure what he was supposed to do , so he mainly carried things from the van in what seemed like a never - ending caravan of equipment . " That 's the last of it , " Bryce said as he set down the cooler on the grass . They had tents , chairs , a small fire pit , and not much else , but they all seemed pleased . The kids almost immediately took off their shoes and socks to wade in the shallows of the stream while John and Jerry took a moment to sit quietly . They offered Bryce a chair as well . The kids joined them , keeping their shoes off , while John built a small fire . As darkness fell , they roasted hot dogs , told stories , and simply talked . A coyote howled in the distance , and Bryce looked all around , but didn 't immediately race to the van . " It 's okay , Uncle Bryce , " Mato said . " They don 't like people and they won 't come near the fire . " Bryce nodded and listened as the haunting call was picked up by another and then another . " The land has its own music . If you close your eyes and let go , you 'll really hear it , " John explained . Bryce wasn 't so sure , but he closed his eyes anyway and listened . At first , he heard the coyotes , then the crackle of the fire , followed by the overlapping chirp of grasshoppers . The stream joined with its soothing gurgle , with tiny animals scurrying through the grasses . A bullfrog croaked loudly , and Bryce jumped , nearly toppling his chair , and the children added their laughter to the chorus . He closed his eyes again , leaning back in his chair and listening . The sounds , no longer scary or confusing , worked their way into his mind . As he listened , he heard a rock tumble down from a nearby bluff . No one said anything , and Bryce breathed deeply and calmly . " It 's beautiful , " Bryce said as he felt tears well in his eyes . He made no move to wipe them away . Percy would have loved it out here , and Bryce had never been interested in camping . I 'm sorry , Bryce thought , and a tiny breeze came up , caressing his cheek . The tears started in earnest as he swore he heard Percy 's voice on the wind telling him it was all right and time for him to move on . I 'll always love you , but there 's another out there who will love you too , it seemed to say . The breeze caressed his cheek once more and then it was gone . " So it was a dream , " Bryce whispered as he looked around . He saw the kids through the screen of the tent , already asleep . " How long ? " " I didn 't see anything , but I heard Percy on the wind , " Bryce said and then waited , but there was no wind , the air still and rapidly cooling . " He told me he 'd always love me , but it was time for me to move on . " Bryce swallowed back tears . " But it was just a dream . " John shook his head slowly . " No . You were given a blessing . The spirits allowed him to come to you and give you a message . Don 't dismiss it or think it didn 't happen . " John placed his stick on the fire , stood up , and stretched his back in varying directions . Then he sat back down again , and no one talked for a while as Bryce sank deep into his own thoughts . Maybe it was time for him to stop grieving . Bryce stood up and walked toward the van . He pulled out his suitcase and in the darkness changed into a pair of shorts and T - shirt before making his way to the tent he was sharing with the kids . They had insisted he sleep with them , so Bryce climbed into his sleeping bag on the air mattress and closed his eyes . Leave a Comment » Over the years I 've written a number of Chrsitmas stories , so I thought in order to get ready for the holidays , I 'd feature each of them here on my blog . Last year 's story was A Present in Swaddling Clothes . As I was looking for a story idea , my unmarried sister was regnant with her first child and she requested that if anything happened to her , that I raise her daughter . The prospect was a bit daunting , so I decided to write about it . The result was A Present in Swaddling Clothes . Josh held baby Vivien when she took her first breath in the world , and he has loved every breath she 's taken since . Now Vivien needs a home - a " for real " forever home , and Josh would love to be the one who takes her in . But Josh 's partner , Sammy , isn 't a fan of children of any size or stamp . Will Josh have to choose between being a lover or a parent , or will Josh 's niece work her baby magic on Sammy , giving them all the best Christmas present of all ? " Her eyes are closed , " Josh said as he looked down at the crying , openmouthed baby . The nurse turned down the light , and the tiniest baby Josh had ever seen opened her big blue eyes , and Josh felt his heart begin to melt . The nurse lifted the baby and handed her to Josh , who looked down into that beautiful little face , feeling a tear run down his cheek . Turning around , he showed Nicky her daughter . She couldn 't hold her because they had to finish the surgery , but Josh let Nicky look . " She 's gorgeous , Nicky . " " Hello , Vivian , " Josh said softly , greeting his niece with a smile . He knew she couldn 't smile up at him , but she stopped crying and her eyes closed . " Is something wrong ? " Josh asked . Josh nodded and watched the precious child as he held her , waiting for the doctors and nurses to finish with Nicky . Josh sat on the stool he 'd occupied earlier and let Nicky gaze at her daughter . " You did good , Nicky , really good . " Beyond that Josh didn 't know what to say , and his throat closed around his words . He was holding a new life in his hands . Josh had held babies before , but never like this , and the entire experience sent ripples up his spine when he thought about it . This was his niece , Nicky 's daughter , and as close to a child of his own as he was ever going to come . " Happy Thanksgiving , " Josh said to Nicky with a grin . " I can 't think of anything anyone could possibly be more thankful for than this little one . " Nicky didn 't answer , she simply smiled and stared at her baby . The nurse took Vivian from Josh and carefully cleaned her up before placing her in a fresh blanket and handing her back to Josh . It was a good thing his partner , Sammy , wasn 't there ; he hated the sight of blood . Eventually , once the incisions were closed , they checked Nicky over thoroughly before wheeling her to recovery and then into a room , where Josh was finally able to let his sister hold her baby . Once she was , Josh left them alone to get acquainted , and so Nicky could nurse Vivian . " Is everything okay ? You 've been gone such a long time . Nicky and the baby are okay , aren 't they ? " The questions flew off Sammy 's nervously excited tongue . " Yes . They 're both fine . She gave birth by Cesarean , but they 're both fine now . Nicky 's feeding the baby , and I wanted to take a few minutes to let you know what was happening . Both mother and baby are fine and healthy . It 's going to take Nicky some time before she 's 100 percent , but Mom is coming to stay with her . " Relief flowed through Josh . He knew Nicky was exhausted , but so was he . He had stayed up with Nicky through the long hours of her labor , and he hadn 't slept in over twenty - four hours . He hadn 't felt it until now , but with the adrenaline wearing off , he could barely keep his eyes open . After yawning , Josh told Sammy that he 'd be home as soon as he could before hanging up the phone . Next , he called some friends of Nicky 's and gave them the good news . He had a whole list of people that he 'd been given to call and dutifully made all the calls before pushing open the hospital - room door and peering inside . Nicky was resting back on the bed with Vivian in her arms , and both of them looked as though they were asleep . Josh motioned to one of the nurses , and she came inside and took Vivian to the nursery so Nicky could sleep . " Yes . I 'm going to try to get some sleep , and I 'll be back tomorrow morning . You get some sleep and take care of that beautiful niece of mine . " " I will , " Nicky said with a smile . " You get some rest too . " Nicky took Josh 's hand and squeezed it . " Thank you so much for being here . It meant the world to me . " Nicky began to cry , and Josh handed her a tissue from the bedside table . " You know I wouldn 't have missed this for anything . I 'm never going to have a child of my own , so I intend to spoil yours rotten . " Josh gave her his best grin , and Nicky smiled behind her tissue . " No , I 'm not . The world 's just too hard on you , " Josh said before kissing her again . She released his hand , and Josh walked toward the door . " Call if you need anything , and I 'll see you tomorrow . " " I will , " she promised , and as Josh left the room with a wave , he saw Nicky flash him a smile . Josh made it to his car and began to drive home . He stopped along the way for coffee more than once before pulling in front of his and Sammy 's home , a little more than an hour north from where his sister lived in Baltimore . Josh hadn 't been sure if Sammy would be home from visiting his family yet , and he smiled when he saw Sammy 's car parked in its usual spot . Getting out , Josh walked toward the front door , and it opened as soon as he stepped onto the porch . Once he stepped inside the house , Sammy closed the door and then pulled Josh into a hug . " I have soup for you , and Mom sent some Thanksgiving dinner home along with some of her fresh bread . " Sammy refused to let him go even while he talked , and Josh rested his head on his partner 's shoulder , already feeling the urge to sleep beginning to take over . " Come into the kitchen and eat , then we 'll get you up to bed . " Josh was too tired to answer and simply let himself be led by the hand into the large and immaculately clean kitchen . Josh took a seat at the table , and Sammy moved around the space , opening drawers and cupboards . Josh had no real idea where anything was in this room of the house . He and Sammy had decorated the house together and done most of the work required to bring their century - old house back from near wreck and ruin . A warm bowl of turkey soup with a cream base was set in front of him , and Josh looked to Sammy with a grateful smile . " I love this , " he said and felt Sammy 's hand on his shoulder . " I know you do . That 's why I made it . " Sammy smiled at him and sat at the next seat with a cup of tea . " How did it go ? " " It was rough , " Josh told him as he started to eat , the rich , creamy soup sliding down his throat , comforting from the inside . " The baby wasn 't coming , so they had to do a Cesarean . Nicky 's sore , but she 's doing okay . How was Thanksgiving at your mom and dad 's ? " " It was nice . They both said to say hello and to tell you that Nicky is in their prayers . Mom also sent lots of leftovers , and she baked you a special pumpkin pie . " Sammy took a sip from his cup , and Josh smiled . Mona always took care to make Josh 's favorites . He knew where Sammy got his love of food . In many ways , Sammy was the male version of his mother because , like Mona , he said love with food . " I know , but you had something more important to do . They 'll see you around Christmas , and they said they 'll be down for the Christmas party in a few weeks . Mom asked if she should bring some of her homemade caramel corn , and I told her to bring whatever she 'd like . " " Tomorrow I 'm going to ask Nicky to come . She and the baby can spend the night in the guest room . She 'll be ready to get away by then , and I 'll have the chance to spend some time with Vivian . " An image of her precious blue eyes looking up at him in the delivery room flashed in his mind . Josh knew he would never forget that moment as long as he lived . Taking another sip of soup , Josh gazed at Sammy and saw a touch of fear in his eyes . He knew what that meant and had been expecting it . " Just don 't expect me to … do … anything with the baby . I 'm allergic to dogs , cats , birds , rabbits , children , and I like it that way . " Sammy shook his head stiffly . " Babies scare me , you know that . They 're so small , and I don 't know a thing about them . " He shook his head again . " I know you 've talked about children a few times , but I never realized you were that serious . They scare me to death , and don 't get me started on the pooping , peeing , diapers . Oh , and let 's not forget the puke and projectile vomiting . No . " Sammy continued shaking his head the entire time . " I didn 't say we needed to adopt or have a child of our own . You told me how you felt about children when I first met you , and I 'd never try to make you do anything you really don 't want to do . " Josh took Sammy 's hand . " But you know Nicky is going to need help with Vivian . " " I know . You 'll need to help , and I 'll help too . Just don 't expect me to actually hold or take care of her . Once she 's older , I 'll show her how to cook and we can bake cookies and cakes together , but while she 's at that spit - up stage , she 's all yours . " Sammy grinned , and Josh went back to his soup . Once the bowl was empty , Sammy placed a plate with a piece of pie in front of him , and Josh took a bite of Sammy 's mother 's pie and groaned softly as the creamy pumpkin slid down his throat . " By the way , before I forget , Terry called yesterday , and he said they just got in a lamp that he thought we 'd like . There are pictures on the web . It looks really nice , and I asked him to hold it until you could take a look at it . It 's a newel - post lamp , and it 's never been electrified . It looks like it needs some work , but he says it 's nothing we can 't do . I thought it would look great in the parlor . " " Can we look at the pictures tomorrow ? " Josh said with a yawn as he finished his pie . Now that he 'd eaten , his bed was really calling to him . " Of course . Terry said he 'd hold it until Monday for us , " Sammy said , and Josh pushed back from the table . " Do you want to go right up to bed ? " Sammy asked as he took the dishes to the dishwasher . " I 'll be up soon , " Sammy said from the sink as he finished cleaning up the kitchen . Josh walked up the stairs and into the room they used as a family room . He and Sammy entertained a lot , so the main floor included the formal living room , parlor , and dining room as well as their kitchen . They used the extra bedroom upstairs as their television and media room . After turning on the television , Josh lay down on the sofa and turned on the Food Network . It wasn 't long before his eyes began to drift closed , and soon he felt a hand on his shoulder . Sammy took good care of him , there was no doubt about that . They both worked , but Josh 's days were much longer , and his job as a food - systems engineer involved a lot of travel . Sammy worked close to home , and early in their relationship , Sammy simply took over taking care of their home . With Sammy , everything had a place , and Josh could always find what he was looking for . The bathroom light switched off , and Josh heard Sammy 's footsteps in the now dark room . The door to the closet where they kept the dirty - clothes basket opened and closed . Then Josh felt the bed dip , and Sammy joined him . They didn 't curl together like they used to . After almost fifteen years together , they rarely cuddled in bed anymore . Sammy usually complained that it made him hot and sweaty . Sammy did lean close to him , his warm hand stroking Josh 's cheek , and then Josh felt Sammy 's weight shift as he was kissed good night . " Love you , " Sammy said before kissing him again . Josh returned the kiss . " I love you too . " He felt Sammy hug him for a few seconds , and then Sammy rolled over onto his side , and Josh did the same . They had a good life together . They were settled and very happy . Sammy took good care of him , and he took care of Sammy . Sure , some of the passion had gone out of their relationship after fifteen years , but that was to be expected . |
Dawn , a sixteen year old Former Pokemon Coordinator , was doing some practice . She never got tired of coming up with better moves for her Pokemon . She was starting to go back to the more basic moves , to try and improve on simplicity . Her blue hair reached down to her waist , and her pretty bright blue eyes sparkled . Her white hat with the light pink Pokeball on the front was in her backpack , which was hooked on her Mamoswine 's tusk . Dawn herself wore white knee length leggings , and a casual short pink and white sleeveless v - neck dress . She also wore pink boots . " That was very pretty Dawn ! I wish I could make something half as pretty as that ! " A female voice from the sidelines called . It belonged to Ivana , a young Pokemon coordinator , and her self - appointed biggest fan . Ivana was 13 years old , and had waist length light brown hair that she usually wore in a long , thick braid . She usually tried to mimic Dawn 's outfits , and today she sported a pink t - shirt and tight white shorts , with pink sneakers . She had a pink bandanna with a white Pokeball pattern on it that she was rarely seen without . " Oh stop . You 're Pokemon 's moves are plenty pretty ! " Dawn replied , with a smile , her blue eyes meeting Ivana 's brown ones . " Told you so . " Hunter replied . Hunter was a Pokemon trainer who wanted to battle the elite four one day , and was the same age as Ivana . He had short black hair , and big brown eyes . Today , he was wearing a red t - shirt and black shorts . His sneakers were black . He and Ivana were good friends , and had been for a long time . " Let 's go , Shuppet ! " Ivana called , throwing a Pokeball into the air . With a flash of red , her energetic little Shuppet soon hovered before them . Hunter and Ivana had been traveling with Dawn for almost a year now . The two were almost inseparable . Ivana 's habit of always trying to be a miniature Dawn always made her laugh , and the way that Hunter was constantly supportive of his best friend always made her smile . Dawn was lost in thought as she slowly started to walk away . She had learned that when Hunter and Ivana practiced together , it was best if Dawn left . Hunter was always trying to impress Ivana , and Ivana was always trying not to mess up in front of Dawn , and she usually got distracted and made a big mistake anyway . " Deliiiii ! " A high pitched cry from above jolted Dawn from her thoughts . She looked up to see a red and white bird - like figure in the air above her , coming closer . A Delibird . As Dawn slowed down , she looked around her . She was on a bridge that had thick cement walls . She stopped at the middle of the bridge , and put her hands flat on the top of the half walls . She looked at the horizon . The river that flowed under the bridge was pretty and clear bright blue . " Deli ! " The Delibird repeated as it 's feet landed on the cement wall . Then , it extended it 's wing , holding a crisp white envelope . " For me ? Thank you ! " Dawn smiled , taking the letter from the Pokemon . Then , the bird leaped into the air , and flew off in the direction it had come from . Brock here . I know it 's been awhile since I last saw , or talked to you , but that doesn 't mean I 've forgotten you , if thats what you 've been thinking . I should have kept in touch , but I never found the time , even though I easily could have . Anyway , I am excited to tell you that I am finally getting married ! Yes , it 's true , I found a girl who wanted to go out with me ! You met her of course . Do you remember Autumn , one of the Milk Maids in Solaceon Town ? Well , she is my Fiance now . Anyway , both of us would love it if you came to the wedding . All the details are on the actual wedding invitation . I hope to see you there . So Brock was getting married ! Brock ! I laughed when I remembered how he used to fall head over heels with every woman that he met who was his age or older . After helping Autumn with her Miltank , Ilta , I could see that she had a crush on him , but he liked her two older sisters , Spring and Summer . That meant that I would see Ash ! If I was invited , then Ash would be too , since he had been friends with Brock for much longer than I had . I hadn 't seen Ash since we had parted ways almost four years ago . Brock got along with everyone , so the wedding would no doubt be huge . How many people would be there ? Would Zoey , Kenny , Leona , Barry , and Paul be there too ? I hadn 't seen them recently , but I had seen them since Ash and I had stopped traveling together . I put the note back into the envelope , and hurried back to my lodgings . I was staying in a motel . I had my own room , while Ivana was sharing a room with Hunter . I quickly began to pack my things . Everything that I would need at Brock 's wedding . I quickly checked the official invite , to find out when the wedding actually was . It was in 3 weeks time . After I finished packing my things , I sent my RSVP back to Brock and Autumn . I quickly got my things ready , and called the train station to reserve my ticket . Now , it was time to do some more contest training . I stepped off the train , my suitcase in my hand , and my best friend Piplup by my side . Hunter and Ivana had decided not to come with me , since there was a contest in a nearby town that both intended to enter . Hunter entered contests so that he could work on his training technique . I carried my suitcase outside of the train station , and Brock was waiting there in his truck . He waved to me , so Piplup and I hurried over . Another train was pulling into the station , and after a moment , Zoey and her Glameow joined us . After both Zoey and I threw our luggage in the back of the truck , we got into the cab . Zoey sat in the middle , while I sat by the window with Piplup on my lap . Zoey 's Glameow leaped up onto the dashboard in front of me , and lied down in the sun . Brock got into the driver 's seat , and started up the engine after the three of us had buckled our seat belts . " No problem . " Brock smiled back as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road . " How have you been ? " I asked nobody in general . " Good . Autmun and I have been working on plans . She 's going to have her own cafe , and I 'm going to breed Pokemon and give advice to all the young trainers I can , in the same facility . " Brock replied after a moment when Zoey did not . " I 've been contemplating whether I should start a summer training camp for Coordinators . I 've been discussing it with Mr . Contesta and he seems to like the idea . " Zoey nodded . " How about you Dawn ? " " Well I went down to Kanto for a bit and acted as a Guest judge in some contests there . Spots as a Guest Judge were easy to come by since they already know my mom from the Sinnoh Grand Festival . After the Grand Festival in Kanto , I came back and worked with Lila at her Pokestylist shop in Celestic town , but after awhile , I got bored with it and started to travel again . That 's when I met up with Ivana and Hunter , and I had been traveling with them since . They 're sweethearts . " I replied with a smile . " I saw your Kanto debut on TV . The other judges seemed to love you . " Brock complimented me , not commenting on why I had given up being a coordinator . " Well they 're both thirteen years old . Ivana is a coordinator like I used to be , and she 's always trying to dress like me . It sometimes gets annoying , but I 'd never tell her that . I 'm sure that she 'll find her own style eventually . And Hunter is a trainer like Ash . He enters a few contests every now and then , but his goal is to eventually challenge the champion . They 're best friends and pretty inseparable . " I explained . The comment was only said in jest , I knew that , but it still hurt like a bee stinging my heart . Nobody had known what had happened between Ash and I for us to go our separate ways . It upset me to think about it , so I avoided thinking about Ash . " Earth to Dawn ! " Zoey 's familiar voice pierced my thoughts like a pin in a balloon . My bright blue eyes wide , I realized that I hadn 't answered Brock 's question . " I said ' Are they hotheads like you and Ash used to be ? ' You guys used to fight all the time when you first started travelling with us . " Brock 's eyes were completely focused on the road now . " No . Hunter is really mellow , but he 's focused , and Ivana is quite . . . . energetic , and she gets distracted all the time . Their Pokemon are exactly like them . It 's quite funny to watch them at times . It 's like watching them with the Pokemon versions of themselves . " I continued , smiling because they were interested in what I had been doing . " Now Zoey , tell us more about this summer training camp for Coordinators . " " Oh , it 's nothing really . Mr . Contesta loved the idea when I suggested it to him . He told me that the younger generation would benefit greatly from having an older mentor to help them with their contest skills . That way , with every generation , the contests get more and more exciting . " Zoey smiled . Most likely she was pleased that we were interested in what she had been doing , just like I had . " I agree . So many young Coordinators just need the confidence of an older Coordinator telling them that their combinations are good enough . Or even if you could work with younger children who want to become Coordinators . It would help them decide thats what they want to do , and give them experience . I think it 's a great idea . If you decide to do this , then give me a call . Autumn has a little cousin who would love that , and I know a bunch of other kids who would too . " Brock replied . " Yeah , we were thinking of doing a week long program for those who already have started their journeys , and then a longer program for the younger kids . We were going to provide the Pokemon , and they have to choose a random Pokeball , and they will have to work with what they choose , without seeing the Pokemon first , to show them to make the best of what they 've got . We would hold miniature contests , and give out ribbons to the winners . " Zoey continued . " I 've got some baby Pokemon that would benefit greatly from working with the younger children . Blissey is great with the baby Pokemon , and children too . I remember when she was just a little Hapiny . You were there when she hatched , and Ash too . Remember that Dawn ? " Brock asked . " Yes . And you had Sudowoodo , and Croagunk . How is Croagunk nowadays ? Is he keeping everyone in check ? " I laughed at the memories , which were washing over me like a wave . I missed the days when it was just me , Ash , and Brock . Those were such fun times . " Croagunk is fine . Our neighbor 's Croagunk has a crush on him . " Brock laughed , clearly thinking about the days when he used to ask every woman to go out with him , and Croagunk used to keep him under control with a quick poison jab . " She 's great . Ilta 's three daughters follow her around like a lost Poochyena . She 's having fun drawing the plans for our Cafe , but she 's under a lot of stress from the wedding . She tries to hide it from me because she doesn 't want me to worry , but I know that she 's stressed . I 've been told that the most stressful event in a person 's life is their wedding day . " Brock finished . As we sat silent for a long moment , I looked out the window and saw a blond girl on a Ponyta racing through the field that ran parallel with the road . It took me a second to realize that she was racing the truck ! Her Ponyta looked like it was having a blast , and the running was obviously doing the Ponyta good , as it 's mane and tail were a massive banner of flames , and it 's tail stretched more than the entire length of it 's body behind the pair . I wondered why there was a vacant field in the middle of the city . " Here we are . " Brock spoke quietly as he slowed the truck down and pulled into a short driveway on the other side of the road as the vacant field . After parking the car in the garage , Zoey and I lugged out out luggage from the back of the truck . Glameow and Piplup were standing together , looking around and smiling like old friends . " Don 't be silly Brock ! I don 't want to put you out . I 'll stay in a hotel . Any that you would recommend ? " Zoey and I said in unison . " Alright then . The hotel next door is a good place . They always have rooms to spare , and their breakfast is delicious . Autumn and I stayed there for a couple of nights , and thats when we found out that this house was for sale . We love the town . Everyone is very friendly , and a lot of people are going eco - friendly if they haven 't already made the switch . " Brock explained . " Great . I 'm going to go and check in . Are you coming Dawn ? " Zoey asked me . I nodded . Of course I was coming . " Well , it depends . If they have enough rooms and the prices are reasonable , then we should have our own . We can always share later on if need be . " Zoey answered logically . Of course , Zoey was always the logical thinker . If the hotel ran out of rooms , then we could double up with other wedding guests . But then again , we were also limiting the amount of rooms available for wedding guests . We pushed through the spinning glass door , and entered the lobby . It was brightly painted in a lemony - cream color , and was very bright . There were many windows which gave scenic views to any that entered the lobby . There were three platinum colored elevators on the far side of the east wall , and a check in / out desk which was also platinum colored , with glass , at the center of the back wall . Zoey and I walked up to the check in / out desk , and waited . There was a small line . There were three other people in line , and the line moved quickly . It appeared as though the other people were wedding guests too . After a fun lunch , we took a walk around the town to try and figure out our way around it . Then , we returned to Brock and Autumn 's house . In the few hours that we had been exploring the town , many more wedding guests had arrived . Brock 's front yard was swarmed by trainers . I recognized Kenny , Paul , Angie , Conway , and Ash immediately . Ash was standing with a girl with red hair , but he walked away after a short moment . May 's face took on an immediate look of recognition at the sight of the guests , and I saw that she too was looking at the red headed girl . I also noticed Ray , my Ex - boyfriend . Ray and I had met in Kanto , after I had been a guest judge at the Petalburg Contest . We started to travel together , and after my second appearance as a guest judge , we had started to date . Then he started to get really clingy , and overprotective of me . He was always jealous if I talked to another guy , and would always give me twenty questions afterwards . After I hugged another of my close male friends that I hadn 't seen in a long time after he watched me act as a guest judge in another Contest , he accused me of cheating on him . Then we had an argument , resulting in our breakup . Now he was standing there with a chesty blond girl on his arm . He caught my eye , and half glared , half smirked at me . I looked away , wondering how Brock knew him , and how he had gotten an invitation . I thought briefly about Kenny too . We had gone on a date awhile back , but I had found it way too awkward and we had decided not to go out anymore . Now , I rarely saw him . Talking to him was an even rarer occurrence . May started over to Ash and the redhead , and Zoey and I followed much like lost puppies . Kenny and Angie approached us together . It seemed as though the two had met already . " How are you , Angie ? Hi Kenny . " I replied , hugging her back , then hugging Kenny . Hugging Kenny felt awkward , but I hugged him anyway . I looked around , and I saw Paul looking my way . He had a strange smirk on , but when he noticed me look his way , his face went blank , and he looked away . Also , I saw Conway , who appeared to be looking my way too , but I couldn 't tell because his glasses were white with the glare of the sun . I was on my own now . Kenny had found Leona , and was with her and Zoey , chatting . May and Misty had gone off to find Autumn to ask if there was anything that they could help her with . Angie had gone to see if Brock wanted a hand with any of the baby Pokemon . " I 'm well . And you ? " I answered . To be completely honest , I was a little afraid of Conway . I found him rather creepy more than once when I traveled with Ash , and it didn 't appear that he had changed any . " I 'm good . I saw all of your contests , before you gave up being a Coordinator . I knew that you were the one I should be watching out for . Studying . You would easily be a tough rival of mine . " Conway replied . I was speechless . Conway was being creepy like he had been before , except now I had nowhere to hide . I didn 't have Ash to hide behind . I felt weird and awkward because I couldn 't think of something to say to reply , and Conway was just staring at me . " Oh , was that Brock ? I think I 'm needed ! Um . . . Bye ! " I finally regained control of my tongue , and then I was gone . Conway was creepy , that was for sure . I needed to get away from him . I raced across the yard , and around the side of the house , into the shadows , to hide from Conway . " Ash Ketchum , come here and give me a hug . " was what I wanted to say to him , but did I ? No . Of course not , because I don 't know if he 's still mad at me . And here 's me , I can 't even remember the reason that we fought in the first place . I hope that he has forgiven me for whatever it is that I did wrong . So instead , I say " Hi Ash . " I try not to sound too happy to see him , in case he 's still mad . After our fight , I should have turned around and gone after him . How selfish and arrogant I was back then . " Hey Dawn , " Came Ash 's reply . He doesn 't seem happy to see me . Oh great . Now my rather good mood has been spoiled completely . Of course , Pikachu is on Ash 's shoulder , like I always remember . Best of friends , until the end . I 'd let all my Pokemon out of their Pokeballs so that they could socialize and stretch their legs . Suddenly , I heard " Bunbun ! " and Buneary landed beside me . It was obvious that she was still very much in love with Pikachu . I felt bad that I had left Ash and Pikachu . It broke Buneary 's heart when I did that , and I spent a lot of time regretting it . " Pika ! " Pikachu replied , leaping off of Ash 's shoulder to greet his old friend . Buneary looked like she was going to explode with happiness . I tried not to blush , even though I didn 't know why I was blushing in the first place . And that was our entire conversation . I couldn 't think of anything to say to him , and he didn 't seem like he wanted to talk to me . I tried not to look upset , but I felt like crying . Ash was mad at me , and that was that . After what seemed like forever of awkward silence , I slowly walked away . I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror on the wall . I was in my hotel room , getting ready for the wedding . Two weeks had flown by , and this morning I had woken up to the shock of realizing that the wedding was today . I couldn 't even begin to imagine how stressed Brock and Autumn were . Buneary was dressed up in a frilly light pink dress with matching pink bows wrapped around the bases of her ears . Piplup was wearing a dark blue bow tie . Ambipom was wearing a bright red dress with a pretty matching red bow on the top of her head . Pachirisu was wearing a yellow dress with a small red bow around the middle , and Mamoswine was wearing a black bow tie around his neck . My hair was curled at front on the sides , and the rest was pulled into a ponytail at the back . It had taken a bottle and a half of hairspray to get it just right , and even now , I still wasn 't satisfied with it . After washing the hairspray out for the third time , I finally managed to get my hair almost perfect . All of my hair was curled , and most of it was pulled up into a ponytail , leaving a few strands out of the ponytail on purpose . I stood up , and smoothed a crease in my dress , which was a floor length light sage green halter neck ball gown with a princess style skirt . It was pretty , and I loved it . It was plain , and it fitted perfectly , and the girl at the dress shop had said how much it complimented my figure . On my feet I was wearing matching light sage green gladiator style shoes with shiny silver buckles . I smiled at my Pokemon , and they cheered . They were as excited about the wedding as could be . I was excited too , but I was also dreading the wedding at the same time . I didn 't have a date , and I knew that May was going with her old rival , Drew , and Misty was going with Tracey . I had found out yesterday that Zoey was going with Kenny , and Leona was going with Conway . Angie was going with Gary . It seemed that I was the only girl who didn 't have a date to the wedding . The wedding was being held in a magnificent older hotel . The hotel itself was massive , and was a little bit out of town . It had grand ballrooms , huge dining areas , beautiful old décor , and was more like a castle than a hotel . I looked up , at the skylight , and saw the dimming evening light . There was an orange - pink glow from the setting sun . What a lovely time to have the wedding , I thought to myself as I looked around , smiling . I caught Brock 's eye , and I gave him the thumbs up sign to encourage him . Brock was standing at the alter with the priest , and shuffling nervously . We all looked around and the doors opened , revealing Autumn in a long , white strapless princess gown with a silver tiara and a long white veil . We all stood up , and the bridal march started to play , and Autumn took her first steps down the aisle . The rest of the wedding was like a blur . Autumn walked up , and after the priest said some words , Brock and Autumn said their vows . Then , for their first kiss as a married couple , I was temporarily blinded by the flash of cameras . When I could see again , all I saw was the two of them running out the door together , having run down the aisle while I was blinded . The whole ceremony had now moved to the grand ballroom . It was by far the biggest room I 'd ever seen , and it was decorated extravagantly with old fashioned jewels , and fancy paintings . There were three great chandeliers , the one in the middle was by far the largest and most beautiful . There was a band set up in the corner , ready for any request that was given . " Dawn , would you like to dance ? " Came a familiar male voice . I had been lost in thought , when he had spoken to me . I knew that the voice belonged to Paul . I put my hands on the boy 's shoulders , and he put his hands on my hips . The typical slow dance . The typical , boring old slow dance . I looked at Paul 's face . His long purple hair was nice , I suppose . I looked at his eyes , and found that he was focusing on me . I looked into his eyes , but I felt as though he was looking through me . After another song , I realized that Paul wasn 't looking at me . He was looking past me . Over my shoulder , but I didn 't know who at . " So , how has your Pokemon 's training been going ? " I asked him , trying to get his attention on me . Suddenly , I realized that I desired his attention , but I felt like he was looking right through me . " Good . " Paul answered . He did not expand on that . He hadn 't even looked at me . I felt like bursting into tears right there . Ash was mad at me , Paul could care less if I walked away right now , and Ray obviously hated me . Kenny was dating Zoey , and Conway hadn 't spoken to me since I had last spoken to Ash . Every time Conway saw me , he would turn his back to me , or look away . Clearly , he was angry with me , but I could deal with that . I find Conway extremely creepy anyway . So I studied his face instead . He wasn 't looking at me , so he wouldn 't notice . His eyes were narrowed , and paying attention to something or someone behind me . We had not turned , so I had no clue as to who Paul was staring at . Then , he smirked . Whoever he was paying attention to that was behind me was obviously giving him the reaction that he wanted from them . I could feel the person 's eyes boring into my back , and I felt even more subconscious . I sighed quietly . Paul didn 't notice . He only continued to look right through me . It was as if I wasn 't even there . I felt my shoulders start to slump . Of course , they would . I was upset , and Paul didn 't even notice , not that he would care if he did . I began to stare vacantly across the room , over Paul 's shoulder . I felt neglected and alone . None of my female friends would know how I was feeling . I was trying my best to hide my feelings , but I knew how pointless it was . Paul wouldn 't notice if I was crying on his shoulder . My wrists were resting my Paul 's shoulders , and I clenched my fists . Would he notice ? I doubted it . He didn 't say anything if he noticed . I felt close to tears . Wherever I looked in the room , I could only see happy couples . Then I look back to Paul 's now emotionless face and I feel worse . Then , Paul pulled me closer , by my hips of course . I was not expecting him to do that , so I stumbled forward , and bumped into him . He held me there . I was getting uncomfortable . There was little space between us now , and Paul was still staring expressionlessly at someone behind me . And he wasn 't offering me the chance to leave . I sighed again , heavily this time , but once again Paul didn 't appear to notice . I was getting depressed because I wasn 't interesting enough that Paul wouldn 't talk to me for one second , or even look at me for one second . Of course , I was starting to think that Paul was only dancing with me to make someone jealous . Using me . After a moment , I managed to get him away from me for a millisecond . In that one millisecond , I was away from him , and gone , out the door and into the hallway . I needed air . Desperately . The hallway was cream colored with molding going halfway up the height of the wall . Down the middle of the hall was a dark green carpet . It ran the entire length of the hallway , and stopped about six inches from each wall . I turned right and ran down the hallway , trying to hold up my large , poofy green skirt as I ran . Luckily , my shoes , which were hidden by my dress were better for running in than high heels . I was so glad I 'd chosen them over my high heels . At the end of the hallway , there were three was to go . Left , right or straight . I didn 't stop . I kept going straight . Then I came to the end of the hallway . I could either go left or right . I stepped to the right side of the hallway . I quickly hurried the full length of the hallway , which was about 15 feet long , and pushed the beautiful glass doors open . I didn 't bother to close them behind me as I stepped onto the balcony into the night air . I walked almost to the edge of the balcony , when I just dropped to my knees , my skirt a sea of light sage green material around me . I hunched over and put my head in my hands . I felt hot , salty tears cascading down my cheeks . I couldn 't stop myself from crying . But crying wasn 't making me feel any better , in fact , I was feeling worse than when I 'd run out of the ballroom . A moment later , I was aware of someone beside me . I thought it was Paul at first , come to demand I get a hold of myself . I felt a hand on my shoulder , sending shivers down my spine , and I wiped my tears away from my eyes quickly as I looked around at my companion , who was kneeling beside me . " Oh Ash ! " I said , throwing my arms around his neck in a hug . " Why are you sorry ? I 'm not mad at you . It was all my fault . " " Ash , I 've missed you so much . " I sighed , my lower lip still trembling a little . My heart was racing , I wasn 't sure if it was from running or not . " I 've missed you too . " Ash replied as I pulled closer to him , hugging him again . After a moment , I pulled away , and Ash stood up , and then offered me a hand to help me to my feet . Ash stepped to the ledge of the balcony , and looked out at the world beyond the castle . I joined him a second later . I leaned on the balcony , as the breeze picked up , gently blowing in our faces . It tossed my curls a little bit , and I took a deep breath of the cool night air . " Maybe you should be getting back . Your date might be getting worried . " I said at last , looking at Ash , trying not to sound disappointed that he might leave me alone on the balcony . " Do you remember when my last contest was ? I was still traveling with you then . Afterwards , I was too upset for a long time and just thinking about doing contests again only made me upset . " " That 's the same reason I gave up trying to battle the elite 4 . I disappointed Cynthia when I abandoned it . I kept training , but I haven 't challenged a gym since we went our separate ways . " I turned again and threw my arms around Ash for a second time . I felt my cheeks burning as they turned bright red , but I didn 't care . I knew that I had shocked Ash again . It took him a second to respond , and he hugged me back tightly . We hugged for a long time , but after awhile , we turned back to lean on the balcony again . We stared together at the view , and at the stars for a long time in silence . It felt so good to be back , hanging out with Ash again . " There you are . You made me look like a fool , Dawn . Are you coming back in now ? " Paul 's voice asked behind us , startling both Ash and I . We turned around together . At the sight of Ash , Paul 's eyes narrowed . " Oh , I 'm sure about that . You 're just jealous like I knew you would be . Why else would I dance with Dawn ? She 's pathetic . " " I suppose if you must know . I knew that I could get to Ash through you . You 're the only one left anyway . " Paul confessed before turning on his heel and storming out , closing the doors behind him . " Yes , in fact , I 'm very sure of it . Why don 't we start to travel together again ? I 'll start participating in contests again , and you start challenging gym leaders . We 'll be unstoppable . " " Dawn , one last thing . " Ash said , grabbing my hand . I felt myself get warm , and I knew that I was blushing . I turned around to face him , curiously wondering what he wanted to say , as he released my hand like it was a hot rock . Now I knew that my cheeks were bright red . I was blushing so much , I was afraid that I 'd say something stupid if I spoke , so I only nodded . Ash was blushing a lot too . At last , I got my tongue back , and managed to speak . Of course , my mouth felt full of cotton . Well , at least , what I imagined a mouthful of cotton would feel like , since I 've never actually put cotton inside my mouth . " I would love to be your date for the rest of the evening . " Ash put a hand on the door handle , but when he tried to pull , the door remained closed . Paul had locked us out ! My blood boiled with anger . The boy had issues , especially with Ash . Why would he have a problem with Ash ? That was what confused me most . After almost half an hour of trying to open the door without success , we gave up trying . We sat on the balcony , and began to talk . As much as we were missing one of the most important events of one of our closest friend 's lives , it felt good to catch up . It had been awhile since we 'd been so sure of our friendship . Eventually , we fell asleep , leaning against each other , watching the moon climbing higher and higher in the inky black night sky . We were woken up by a group of our friends at the end of the party . Apparently , we had been missed . And a lot at that . We didn 't tell them that Paul had locked us out , just that we 'd gone out to get some air and the door had locked behind us . Sitting side by side on a couch in the Pokemon center , Dawn and Ash looked up at the television screen above them . It was an advertisement for a Pokemon contest that was coming up . After a moment , it finished , a commercial for toothpaste flashed into it 's place . The two teens stood up , and made their way outside of the Pokemon center . They seemed distant from each other from some reason . Both seemed to now be in deep thought . Then , they reached a small clearing . " Come on out everyone . " They said in unison , both throwing multiple pokeballs into the air above them in one motion . In a flash and flurry of movement , and the rather large group of pokemon stood before them . Of course , two were not with the just released pokemon , as a Pikachu was perched on Ash 's shoulder , and Piplup was holding onto Dawn 's hat . Buneary saw Pikachu , and clasped her paws together . The phrase " Absence makes the heart grow fonder " had proven very true with Buneary . She has refused to evolve , just as both Piplup and Pikachu had . Pikachu and Piplup jumped down , and ran off to join their friends . Their Pokemon were soon racing around the small clearing , playing and having fun with each other . Ash studied the pokemon before them for a long moment , before turning to Dawn . She was clearly still very deep in thought . Ash only stared at her for a moment . He wondered what was on her mind that seemed to be worrying her so much . Ash 's concerned voice pulled the pretty blue haired girl from the depths of her own mind . She looked momentarily confused , but then she smiled , and glanced at the pokemon . " No need to worry . " Dawn nodded in response , and called all of her Pokemon back to her . Ash 's Pokemon joined them along the sidelines . Dawn smiled at the Pokemon , and told them what they were doing . The Pokemon nodded enthusiastically and some of them cheered . The small blue penguin pokemon nodded at his trainer 's voice , and leaped forward . He seemed determined . Both teens nodded with approval at Piplup 's attitude . Ash nodded in approval . He had seen Piplup use Bubblebeam many times before . It was nothing new , but he said nothing . He didn 't want to harm Dawn 's confidence , especially right before a very important contest . She needed to win , or she would have to wait for such a long time until the next Grand Festival . But from then on , everything went haywire . Nothing was working out right . Piplup looked angry that the combination that his trainer had so carefully thought out had gone wrong . But Ash was not sure who Piplup was mad at , himself or Dawn . Dawn praised Piplup for his efforts anyway . Next up was Pachirisu . Pachirisu and Dawn both looked crushed when the combination didn 't make it past the second move either , but neither said anything . The rest of the performances didn 't go well . By the end of it , Dawn was a nervous wreck . To be totally honest , Dawn looked like she was holding back tears . She was holding back tears , as best she could . She didn 't want Ash to think she couldn 't handle a flat tire in the never ending road trip that was life . Ash stepped towards her . Dawn had her back towards him . Ash reached out and put a hand on her shoulder , trying to calm her . He squeezed her shoulder gently , thinking that she was calming down , but after a second , she pulled away from him and ran off by herself , leaving her Pokemon standing with Ash . Ash 's hand stayed raised for a moment , right where Dawn 's shoulder had been a moment before , finally it dropped to his side . He wasn 't sure what to do . His heart told him to go after her , but his head told him she needed space to be alone and think for a little while . He was confused . So were all the Pokemon . All of the Pokemon , including those that belonged to Dawn , were looking towards Ash for guidance . Ash 's eyes were filled with emotion , mostly confusion . Then , Buneary turned and took a step in the direction that Dawn had gone . She seemed to be the most concerned about her trainer . Pikachu reached out and grabbed Buneary 's paw . " Pika … . " He said quietly . Buneary understood , and nodded . Dawn probably did need to be alone right now . |
I quickly became adjusted to life in colder winters and cloudy days , unlike my days in Florida , where I was born . Our new house was bigger than our last one and it had more land . I thought I had become the luckiest girl in the world . Then I met a girl . I saw her two months after we had moved into the new house . I was playing with my dolls under the covers of my bed when I heard a voice say , " Can I play , too ? " I took my head out from under the covers to see who it was and I saw a girl . She looked perfectly normal , if you don 't count her old style that might have come from the 1800 's . She wore her brown hair in a ponytail and she had tan skin with giant , innocent looking brown eyes . She had what had seemed like a maid 's dress , with a black , poofy dress with a white apron over it . Her shoes were black with buttons on them . I asked who she was and she said her name was Mary - Anne . She told me this was her room and one day she woke up with giant , scary looking flames around her room . She somehow fell asleep again , and the next morning her parents were not there , nor was her sisters . She said she was waiting for them to come back . I felt sorry for her , so I handed her a doll and we played . Then I talked to her about my life . She said she was six years old . I thought that my mom would love to hear about this girl . After all , if she loved me , why couldn 't she love my friend ? I started to talk about Mary - Anne all the time . She seemed nice and she had a sweet voice that sounded like a quiet , cute whisper . I had come to think of her as my sister . This was great , I had thought . I now had a sister , since I was an only child at the time . I started to tell my mother how much fun Mary - Anne was and how nice she was . My mother might have thought I was having a imaginary friend because she only laughed . But then things got serious . I showed her to the door but when I stepped outside Mary - Anne would stop and give me the evil eye , then turn and stomp away . I had no clue why , but now I think I know . Mary - Anne was not allowed to go past the door , and I think she was angry at me for leaving her like this . Mary - Anne may have seemed nice , but she was violent when she was angry . When I came back and went to my room Mary - Anne grabbed me neck and pushed me against the wall and screamed , " You left me ! You left me ! You left me like my Momma and Poppa did ! " When that happened , I just slunk away from my room . But on this particular day , I had told Mary - Anne I would have to go to school . Mary - Anne knew what this was and she knew I would be gone for part of the day . She yelled at me and scolded me and told me she would hurt me if I left her once again . I had been gone for at least six hours when I came home , and Mary - Anne was furious . " You left me longer than you ever had before ! I can 't be your friend if you keep doing this ! " And with that , she grabbed my hair so hard a chunk of my brown hair fell off . I screamed and then I thwacked her head . Mary - Anne screamed and then glared at me with evil eyes . " How dare you ! " She said . She grabbed my hand so hard it hurt . Her long fingernails dug into my wrist and I cried in pain . She pulled me to the bathroom and ran the water in the tub . When it was full she dunked my head inside and would not let me out . I gargled the water and gasped for air . My mother then came and saw me with my head in the water , desperate for air . She had not seen Mary - Anne , and she thought I was trying to kill myself . She pulled me out , defeating the six year old power that Mary - Anne had . " There is much to live for , Jenisse ! Don 't be doing that again ! " She scolded . I knew I was too young to try to commit suicide , so I thought it was silly that my mother would think that . When I went to bed Mary - Anne was waiting for me . " I 'm sorry . I got carried away . I 'm sorry . " She had said . I now feared her . I knew her anger would get out of control if I said I did not forgive her , so I said I forgave her . But truly , I wanted to run to my mother and cry . I was woken up in the middle of the night with a shake on my arm . " Come on , Jenisse , let 's play ! " Mary - Anne whined . " I don 't want to play , now . I want to sleep . " I confirmed . Mary - Anne glared at me . " We will play NOW . GET UP ! " She demanded . With that , I pushed her out of my way and went to my mother 's room . I heard Mary - Anne scream in fury and scurry after me . I looked back . I saw Mary - Anne 's true face , bloody and burnt from fire . I knew now that she was a ghost , and she was dead . That scary thing that was around her bed - it was fire . It all came together and then I ran faster , trying to get to my mother 's room . I made it and Mary - Anne 's bloody face stared at me , and then she yelled , " I 'll get you ! " And with that , she disappeared . I told my mother all that had happened and my mother thought It was a nightmare . But it was too realistic to be a dream . I never saw Mary - Anne again . Maybe she crossed over and found her family or maybe she could not see me anymore , for she had revealed her true self and now I could no longer see her . Marching vampire home originated in four counties of western HU NAN province of western China . When a man died his body would be marched home by a magician before the corpse decayed . . . lining up with wrist tied to one string , corpses bounced along the road . It was yellow paper talisman attached to the corpse 's forehead which is given magic power by skilled magician that sent corpses following the magician ahead of them . During their move , gongs were struck and bells shook by other magicians to warn people ahead to avoid them . The gang moved at night and lodged at inn during daytime to go to sleep . On arriving at a hotel , magicians will remove talismans from corpse 's forehead for during daytime , corpses have no ability to make troubles . It is also said that actually , corpse was carried home by people on their shoulder . A generally - accepted idea is Marching vampire home is closely associated with drug - trafficking activity . Corpse is often considered not auspicious in Chinese tradition and people will avoid corpse as much as possible . So under the cover of vampire , opium produced by western powers , especially Britain , found their way to Chinese addicts . From this point , Britain contributed a lot to vampire legends in China . Once many tourists to Tibeta would wonder why gates there are so odd looking . Gate is so short , about one third shorter than ordinary gate , and into the house you feel like you are moving up a slope , which seems so out of proportion to gigantic house . To enter a Tibetan room , one must stoop in with head drooping . Outsiders may hold that these gates are results of bad designs before they were told the following legend . In practice , a gate is an effective tool against vampire 's invading . In Tibeta , people , wicked or suffering constant poverty , are likely to become vampires after their death . These vampires regretting not having fulfilled his evil desire or having enough to eat before their death , will rise up to implement their will . And unique Tibetan burial customs also facilitate formation of vampires . In Tibeta , especially in town , a dead person got buried 3 to 7 days before he is sent to sky - bury platform , where local shamans will cut his body to pieces to feed holy eagle . During this period , a series of religious ceremony will be held and corpse frequently transformed into a vampire . It is said that Vampires in Tibeta can not speak and stoop down and turning their body around and even move their eyeballs . They can only stare ahead and trot forward . If running across a person a vampire can easily turn him into his kind simply by laying his hand on the person 's head . And this eerie effect work only to human beings , while all animals are immune to it . So , based upon vampire 's traits , people built a gate short enough for vampire to entering a room . And this short gate can only be employed in buildings in town . For herdsmen living in a tent in enormous grass , they can not use a short - gate to avoid vampire , and they have to living a worrying life . Many old people and shaman in local claimed they repeatedly witnessed the transformation from a body into a vampire . They unanimously agree upon the following account : transformation is evolving and signs can be detected in advance . A corpse that is about to be a vampire may swell in the face , and he is black - skinned , hair standing upright and blister emerging on his skin . Then corpse will sit up slowly , eyes wide open and trot ahead with arms stretching out forward . Everyone is always saying that being a Vampire is fantastic . The nightlife , the powers , the true feeling of being alive and yet dead in the same moment . But I truly believe being one is not that great . I walk into my Catholic Church and feel every pain in my body become unbearable . Kneeling on the pews feel like nails and I become dizzy saying the Lord 's name . Over the years the symptoms have gotten worse . The need for blood is excruciating and the sun burns every part of me . My gums ache and I have to file them down to fit in . I have to hide the truth from my boyfriend and its hard not to be tempted my his blood . I had to get C - Section for my children . My first child I had went to the hospital . Through the surgery , I felt a presence . After the surgery , 3 hours later I had woken up . I saw a doctor standing at the door . " Hi , When am I leaving ? " I asked . He just stared . " Um , excuse me ! Tell me now ! " He totally disappeared . I got a wheelchair in the corner and rolled into the hallway . Silence filled the room . I rolled down the old rusted hallway , to my surprise , I turned to see everybody in each room dead ! Blood and all ! I quickly rolled into the elevator and clicked Numbre 1 ( this place was made by a French man ) . I went through into the lobby . I saw dead people at the desk , just all over the lobby ! I heard foot - steps . I jumped out of my wheelchair and limped behind a chair . I saw a bloody killer with a knife going to the elevator . I quickly jumped into my wheel chair when he went to Floor 18 . I went into the hallway and saw a woman on the floor . She was hiding , also ! " Are you okay ? We 've gotta get out of here ! " I whispered . We folded up our wheel - chairs after getting to the escalator . We went down to the very bottom ( The lobby is on the first floor basement and is how you get in and out ) . We saw the door boarded up ! I cried . We tried the door , and it didn 't budge . " Keys ! " she snatched the keys from the janitors room and unlocked the door . We ran outside . We got to my car , and drove to the police station . You probably won 't believe me . I wouldn 't have believed me either , so I don 't blame you . But I 'll tell you anyways , and then maybe you will believe me . Most people want to move to Hawaii . When I discovered that my family was moving there because of my dad 's job , ( photojournalist ) I was so excited ! This was back when I was just 12 . My excitment did not last long . Our house was beautiful . We lived in a three - story mansion ( well , to me it seemed to be a mansion ) . It was located three blocks away from the beach . " Awesome , " I thought . Only three days later , strange things began happening . Little things ; books randomly falling off of the shelf ( my mom always blamed my brother or our dog ) , weird stains on our bedroom curtains ( rusty in color ) , and the same colored drops on the floor leading over to our beds . What was creepiest about these seeming paint drops , was that they weren 't in the house when we first moved in , and we hadn 't painted any of the rooms . It was that horrifying night that I regretted ever moving to Hawaii . It was midnight and I knew I was asleep , the vision I was having , it was my room only . . . it wasn 't . I was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling then suddenly , I saw a girl standing outside my window . I noticed she had a lot of blood all over her clothes . In fact , she was bleeding so much that it was getting all over my curtains . As she climbed through my window ( to my utter horror ) the blood dripped onto the floor , exactly where the rusty colored drops were after the first night we had spent in our new house . Suddenly in one swift movement , she jumped over the window sill and stared at me with her icy eyes . I wanted to scream . I seemed to be frozen . I couldn 't move , couldn 't scream , no matter how hard I tried . My mouth opened , no sound came out . I could barely even breathe . The girl was watching me . I was more terrified as I noticed that she was missing an entire arm , most of her stomach , her whole side , and a small portion of her neck . It was empty , gaping , bloody wounds on her whole left side . I looked around my room , more than just startled by a nightmare . To my horror , the window was open . I hadn 't opened it before going to sleep , I had closed ( and locked ) it . My eyes fell to the curtains , not wanting to see what I knew would be there . Blood . Dried blood . That awful , rusty color stained the old , off - white curtains . By this time , my eyes were as wide as saucers . It was about five o ' clock in the morning , and the sun was barely up in the sky . The early morning light illuminated the blood drops on the floor , leading in a trail over to my bed . I told my parents about the ' dream ' . Before doing so , however , I told them nonchalontly that I wanted to do a bit of research on the last family that had lived in our house . Surprisingly , there was a lot of information that came up , even a website . The article title of one of the articles on the website read : " GIRL SWIMS LATE AT NIGHT ; ATTACKED BY SHARK . " I skimmed the article . It read , " Violet Border , age 15 , 1964 - 79 , surfing with unknown boy of 18 . . . . " awful . I couldn 't believe we actually had bought Violet 's house . Or was it really hers ? I saw a black and white photo of her on the website . It was wrinkled and faded with age , but I saw through the laughing face of Violet Border , and recognized her from my dream ! Why would I dream about a girl I had never seen or heard of before ? It was , I think , two years ago when my sister bought the Vampire Kisses three book collection . I picked it up and was trying to read the first book , but I only managed to get half - way through it before I quit . It wasn 't because the book was boring , though . I couldn 't see the face . All that I saw was this tattered - but - flowy white gown . I looked back at the book , and then looked back up when I heard my sister . The figure was gone . A girl called Holly and a girl called Maisy and Holly 's mum and dad were all going on holiday . Holly and Maisy were the best of friends . Holly was 12 and Maisy was 12 . anyway it was a caravan holiday so Holly 's dad was driving them all . As it was going to take a while to get there they had to stay in a Premier for a night . . . On the day after they had stopped at the premier inn it was Holly 's birthday so Holly 's mum and dad booked her and Maisy a separate room from them so that they could get all of the presents ready and things . When they arrived at the premier inn they both went off to their separate rooms . As soon as the girls got into the room they jumped straight onto the double bed and got out their Nintendo 's ( DS ) and played on them , but they both went on pictochat where you can talk to each other , they were having a conversation with each other and all of a sudden a message was sent to Maisy saying ' YOU WILL BE KILLED TONIGHT ' . . . she turned around to Holly and asked why she had sent that to her , and Holly replied ' I didn 't why would I sent that to me best friend ? ' Maisy said to her ' look who sent it too me then ? ' They both didn 't know and were really scared . They were both really existed before about having their own room but now that had been sent they were terrified and did not want a room of their own . . . After a while they went downstairs into the restaurant for some tea . they were going to tell Holly 's mum and dad about the message but they decided it was probably a prank or something . After finishing their tea they went back up to both of their rooms . the two girls got ready for bed and tucked up in the covers Maisy said she was quite tired and she fell asleep in no time where as with Holly it took her ages to get to sleep . at about 11 . 30 she drifted off to sleep . Holly woke up that night at about 1 . 00 am . To her surprise she got out of bed and walked up to the door and locked the door and posted the key out of the letter box . . . this woke Maisy up , Maisy asked what she was doing and Holly said ' I don 't know I cant control my actions ' . And sure enough she couldn 't control them . Holly walked over to the glasses picked one up and threw it on the ground until it smashed into pieces . Holly walked over to it and picked a piece of it up and started walking slowly over to Maisy . Maisy was telling her to stop it but Holly was trying her best to stop but she couldn 't . Holly climbed onto the bed and leaned over Maisy with the piece of glass held up in the air . Holly decided she wanted to say something to Maisy so she started . . . ' Maisy you have been the best friend anyone could ever ask for , I 'm so upset it has to end like this - me killing you , my heart is honestly broken and I bet yours is too , I am promising you now that if my actions force me to kill you I will kill myself and I promise that . . . also I promise I will never forget you and I will see you in heaven soon ' . That was it , Holly 's arm being forced towards Maisy and Holly sliced Maisy 's throat . . . Holly was in control of her actions now and as she had promised , she killed herself the exact same way as she killed Maisy . At least they are together now in heaven . ( THIS IS A TRUE STORY AND THE PHYSIC PERSON THAT WENT IN TO SEE WHAT HAD HAPPENED , HE SAID THAT IT WOULDN ' T HAVE HAPPENED IF THEY HAD STAYED AT HOME ) Sent in by Laura One day me and my friends were bored , so we were browsing though some web sites and saw this house . It was indeed the scariest house I have ever seen , the house was very old and looked like it was built in the 1900s . Its Victorian , haunted and abandoned . We started a bet . The bet was that which one of us could stay there for a one week and we would all go and see which one would get scared first and leave . If the last person stayed there we all would pool together and pay him or she $ 2 , 000 dollars . So we did but only to find out what we had brought our self into and that we found out . We all went and one of or friends he got scared when he saw the house immediately so we encouraged him to do it . So we went in and there were old beds and dresses , old wallpapers , but the weird thing is that the house was very cold , I mean it was so cold . The temperature outside was cold but the normally chilly so I was not paying that any mind . All of a sudden we felt like some thing or someone was watching us so we all were freaking out but we played it cool and just didn 't pay it any mind . We continued and we saw a room that looked like we could camp out in so we started unpacking . I was scared but I just played it cool because I was the one who put them up for this . My girlfriend was there and we went for a walk in the nearby woods to look at the beautiful scenery and we walked and walked on til I saw like a head stone peeking out of the leafs . My girl she freaked on the spot so I calmed her down and we looked at the name on it and we say William Conner and Michele Conner on it then we start hearing sounds of someone walking towards us . We didn 't see anyone so being the brave one that I thought I am I went off looking for what or who it was and I saw what looked like a figure of a man looking right at me . I freak out and ran I thought it was a stalker / killer , that was the most terrifying and freakiest thing that I have every seen in my life . My girl she was shaking all over . I tried to calm her down but she couldn 't stop shaking . My friend Dave saw us coming and asked what happened . We were so afraid to tell them what happened because we didn 't want them to freak out but we told them anyway and they all saying we 're bugging out so I said ok then go and look for yourselves . And they all did and me and Stacy were all alone in the house . For a while the both of us heard sounds coming form the up stairs . It stopped then I told Stacy to stay here . I went to check out what it was then this cold air comes rushing in and it got stronger . I could see my breath coming out of my mouth . I went in one of the bed rooms and started looking in the room and to my surprised I saw a tall pale skinned lady with dark hair standing and looking thought the window so I asked her who she was . I thought she was a homeless person but later found out this was her home . So I stand there scared to death freezing cold then she looked around at me her face was so terrifying that I ran out the room and ran out though the door . I stopped and stand there for about a second trying to come to terms of what I just saw . My girl friend was asking me what 's wrong but I couldn 't talk , everything was so foggy , and I can 't breath . She had some water that she brought with her , so she gave me some to drink . I looked up on the top of the houses attic window where I saw the thing in and don 't see her . I thought I was losing it . I start talking in jables and then I blacked out for a while . Two minutes later I recovered and looked up only to see my girlfriend Stacy over me . I couldn 't see but I knew it was her . I couldn 't breathe for a while , my head was all cloudy and foggy , my ear was ringing . I look outside it was night at this time and the entire outside was pitch black . I asked her what happened ? She told me that I had fainted . I asked her where are the others ? She said they haven 't returned from the woods yet . Then I start panicking thinking if they got hurt . I went outside calling them . I didn 't get any answer . My girl began to cry . I was scared at the time so I told her to shut up ! I ran up stairs looking for a flashlight . Then I went in the woods looking for them . I was freaking out because the place was so dark but I didn 't want to show it . She ran out with me . I start calling for David but no answer then I heard someone screaming and crying out for help . I called for Shoran because I could tell it was her voice then I heard the same foot step coming towards us that we heard earlier . I heard branches snapping and breaking then we saw Shoran in the bushes hiding . I asked her what was going on , where are the others ? She said we saw some strange things coming after them they ran separate places and hid she don 't know where they were . I then saw what looked like a transparent man walking past us . He didn 't see us behind the bushes . Shoran had lost it , I had to clam her down she said " you got us in this " I said I was sorry that I ever came here sorry I got us in all of this . So my girlfriend said let 's go we have to get the others then we saw mike and David . I said where were you guys let 's get out of here . Aas we approached the house all the lights were flickering . I said I 'm not going back in there . We all heard a music box playing and getting louder and louder and screams . I thought I was in a horror movie so Mike said forget the bags lets get out of here . We got in the car and then it wouldn 't start . We start panicking and the house started going wild . The walls were banging louder and louder and then I said " Jesus help us what have I got my self into ? " Mike tried the car a couple more times then I saw the freaky looking lady coming after the car . Then the car starts and I was like hurry up then we drove away from the house . It was a sigh of relief for all of us . I said to myself " never will I do that again and never will look at a haunted house on the internet . " We all didn 't talk about what had happened that night . Mike never told us what happened in the woods with them , neither did I . We all went off into our life 's but what happened in the house and in the woods none of us will ever ever forget . It was 1988 , The Furby came out . My sister got one and when I came I got it . It always did what I wanted . Until one day , I was playing with it . It started getting an attitude . It always said no . A couple years later , I was almost 4 years old . And I was ready to play with Furby again . I reset Furby and he took on his normal behavior for a while , and then started to get angry again . I was angry , I opened him up to take out the batteries . But I was shocked ! There were no batteries ! I threw him into the cellar and locked it . The next day I was ready to throw him out . He was not there . He had somehow gotten out from the basement onto the porch . I went outside with a net , and grabbed Furby with it . I dumped him into the trash can at the edge of the driveway . And just in time . The garbage truck was coming . Furby took a glance at the truck , and started screaming for mercy not to be crushed . I said " Furby , prepare to meet your biggest doom . " It was a joy to see him die . I then got a new Tuxedo Furby . He was normal . And when I talked about the old Furby , he said " Furby Bad . " And I agreed with him . But a year later he died . I held his funeral . Now I have no more Furbys . And that is the end of my very scary , but true story . After our house was destroyed by a huge fire , we were picking out a house we should live in . My mom picked this white house and it was very pretty . We went inside and unpacked and everything looked pretty good . We even got a dog . Her name was Princess . She was the fun of the family . But after settling in and getting used to everything , strange things started happening . Like every night our dog would whimper and be all sad , then before you reached over to pet her , she would be running around the house barking loudly . And on sunny days , like being in the kitchen in the morning baking ( my mom always does that ) On the floor there would be your shadow then you would see a shadow next to you that looks completely different , and no one was there . And here 's the freakiest . Sometimes when you were alone at night , sitting on the couch reading or watching TV , you would hear something running down the stairs and into the living room , and you would hear it jump onto the couch and it would say , " Watcha reading ? " Or , " Watcha watching ? " At dinner we discussed how we all heard the thing in the living room , or saw the shadows . My little brother and sister assumed it was a ghost . My parents thought it was crazy , and it couldn 't possibly be a ghost . I believed them , because it could be true . My mom was up yesterday and was really mad . She was so mad she snapped a spoon in half . She thought it was ridiculous that a ghost would be haunting this house . She thought we would be living normally . So next year when my brother turned 9 , my little sister was 10 , and I was 16 . We were cleaning out the attic , moving boxes , redecorating , all that . We were changing the wall paper , I teared it down , then , BOOM ! I fainted . I saw a dead girl under the wallpaper . She had chunks of wall on her , and she had some skin and stuff but she was mostly skeleton . She looked like she was about 16 . After that we moved out and our old house was rebuilt so we moved there again and lived normally . I was 19 when my demon first raped me . I was traveling with a show , and I lived in a tent . The first night that it came to me , I thought tha . . . My cousin had brought a Furby a couple of years ago . At first it was an ordinary doll with a bunch of motion sensors . We used to put our fin . . . I am a twelve year old girl who uses the nickname X - ra , and I can summon things from other worlds . Some people can do this , some can not . M . . . I am a teacher . . well , I WAS . . at the age of 23 . I had a group of 10 / 11 year olds in a classroom . It was thundering outside and the rain was . . . |
We had been catless for a year or two ; it wasn 't really our choice , because we like to have cats in the barn that will kill the mice and rats , as well as the pesky sparrows that poop on Cliff 's tractors . However , the last few cats who came here to live either decided the barn was their personal litter box or wandered off into the night , never to be seen again . I 've seen ads on Craigslist , people who had free barn cats that were spayed and neutered . But when you bring adult cats to a new place , they often leave as quickly as they came , so I remained catless . I even had a Facebook friend offer me some cats , but I was afraid they would be too tame . The trouble with cats who have been pets is that they don 't stay in the barn ; they come to the house and make nuisances of themselves by sneaking through the door every time it opens , or climbing on the window screens and leaving holes for the flies to get through . After the neighbors to the west abandoned their house , I started seeing some cats lurking around what used to be my cabin ; it appeared to be a mother cat and three kittens . I started giving them milk every time I milked the cow , and later bought some cheap cat food to supplement the milk . The mother cat was obviously a pet , but if she came too near the house to suit me , I could hiss and she 'd run away . I refrained from petting her because I didn 't want her at the house ; but I could tell she would have enjoyed being petted . Little by little , the cat family moved to a wing of the barn , so I began feeding them there instead of at the old cabin . However , there were now only two kittens , one a calico about half the size of the other . A couple of days ago the cats disappeared . When I 'd call " Kitty - kitty - kitty " , they didn 't come running as was their custom . For thirty - six hours I didn 't see any cats , although I faithfully left milk and cat food for them . I decided perhaps the little girl whose pets they once were had come and gotten them , although as wild as the kittens were , I couldn 't see how she would have loaded tThat 's the mother in the background at the milk pan . It 's really hard to get both cats in the picture . They can be posing prettily , but when I approach , they jump down and head their separate ways . The kitten is on the pile of boards . Mother Cat , begging me to please pet her . I think I 'll call her Lucky , because she reminds me of a good old mouser by that name that I used to have . Miss Lucky , Jr . , posing prettily . So , here 's hoping neither of these disappear . I 'm getting a little attached to them . Lucky is behaving so well , I think I 'll let my granddaughters pet her next time they visit . . . but only if they pet her in the close vicinity of the barn . My friend Jessica has been gushing all over Facebook for months about a barbecue joint called Oklahoma Joe 's . The more she talked about it , the more I wanted to try it . Problem is , both locations are an hour away from us , on the Kansas side of the Kansas City metropolitan area . I have suffered in silence all this time , but yesterday I broke the news to Cliff that I simply had to eat at Oklahoma Joe 's to see what I was missing . So today , we went . The Kansas City , Kansas , location is ten miles closer , but the Olathe one seemed like more of a direct route ; the GPS gave the same travel - time to get to either one . We chose Olathe . We arrived around 11 : 30 A . M . to see a line of people that reached almost all the way to the entry door . They have a very good system , though , for moving people along ; so we weren 't standing long . I got the Z - man sandwich my friend recommended ; Cliff got a barbecue plate of sausage and brisket , with a side of beans . We both loved the food . The regular barbecue sauce was as good as any I 've had , and Cliff agrees . He tried the hot sauce ; I took a tiny taste , but it was really too hot to suit me . Even Cliff , who likes hot , spicy seasoning , preferred the regular sauce . When we left I was fulfilled and happy . We 'd never drive that far again just to eat at Oklahoma Joe 's , but if we were passing through to visit my brother - in - law at Elk City , Kansas , or if we were on our way to Colorado or points farther west , I 'd pick up another sandwich like the one I had today . We found a Dairy Queen and got a mini - blizzard for dessert , then stopped by the Walmart in Oak Grove to get a couple of Cliff 's prescriptions and some groceries . That 's where my mood changed . Medicare Complete wouldn 't pay for our prescriptions ; they wanted us to submit to our " other " insurance . We haven 't had any other insurance since Cliff retired ! And it seemed strange that they paid for the prescriptions we got for Cliff only two weeks ago . A lady working in the pharmacy called Medicare Complete twice , and then came and told us we really needed to call them ourselves . So we sat down on a bench at the pharmacy and did just that . We dealt with two different ladies at Medicare Complete , and they were both courteous and helpful . I was put on hold for about thirty minutes while one lady transferred me to another , and that was rather discouraging , mainly because I didn 't know what the outcome would be . It turns out Cliff 's former employer contacted them within the last few days to notify them that he was insured with them . We can 't figure out how that happened ; I do know the oldest grandson just received his insurance card from the same employer , and we wonder if there was a mixup there : same last name , and similar address . If that 's the case , I wonder if Arick 's insurance will be cut off as a result of our mixup today . All 's well that ends well , but we sure did spend a lot of time in Walmart , talking on the phone . Whew . I have to say that the ladies at the pharmacy were patient and helpful , as were the ones we spoke with on the phone . On a side note , I hope all the Pioneer Woman fans caught her new show on the Food Network last Saturday . Cliff watched and enjoyed it with me ; he really likes Ree . I know she has her detractors , but Cliff and I are diehard fans . She comes across , we think , as REAL . We love the ranch scenes incorporated into the show , too . Sure she 's rich . She deserves it . I hope she gets even richer . So there . As I mentioned in my last post , I am really getting sick and tired of Max , the calf , not taking more of Bonnie 's milk . I took it upon myself when he was nursing to get on the other side of the cow so he wasn 't bothered by my presence , peek under her belly , and watch him nurse . At one point I reached across under the cow and hid his favorite teat , a front one . He keeps that one very well emptied , and only takes a little from the back quarters . If I took away the front teat , he would move on to the back one on that side ; however , I could tell that his nostrils were blocked by Bonnie 's capacious udder when he was partaking of that back teat , making it a little difficult for him to breathe . Not impossible , just slightly difficult . So he 's been choosing the easy route . Hmmm ; what to do , what to do . Since I 've been having to milk every morning anyhow , I decided to put Max in the stall overnight . That way I can milk from the cow 's right side and he can have what 's on her left . I 've done this with Bonnie 's previous calves when I needed milk . This plan , I thought , would help Stupid Max come to a realization that the milk in the back is every bit as good as the milk in the front , and maybe he 'll soon become an equal opportunity sucker . I awoke this morning to a bovine chorus which , loosely translated , is this : " Mommy , I 'm dying of starvation ! " " My baby , my baby , I want to feed you and I can 't get in there with you ! " All this repeated ad nauseam , resonating clearly through my open bedroom window . I got out of bed , quickly drank a cup of coffee , grabbed my bucket , and went to the barn . It was no trick getting Bonnie in the barn and in her stanchion ; after all , there 's food there . Once I had her secured I went out and slid the stall door open , turning Max loose . Now all he had to do was take two or three steps , see his mother through the open door of the barn , join her , and latch on . He did step through once , but promptly left , bawling his head off . This made Bonnie nervous , and she stomped around some and mooed an answer to her baby . He answered back , but didn 't come near the open door . When a cow gets nervous , she poops and pees . A lot , and often . So there I was snatching my bucket up and dodging excrement and urine every minute or so , pitchforking out the manure so I didn 't have to have my bare feet in it as I milked , and resuming the milking procedure when the coast seemed clear . A couple of times I set the bucket on a stool and went out to try and guide the calf into the barn with his mother , to no avail . Finally , when I was almost done milking the two teats on my side , Max entered and I shut the door so he couldn 't leave . And at long last , he discovered the breakfast bar . I noticed that when he 's really hungry , he doesn 't care which teat he sucks on . I 'll repeat this whole procedure every morning until Max starts emptying the cow 's udder on his own . I plan to make cheese with the two gallons of milk I brought in today . Last time I attempted making cheddar cheese , it turned out to be crumbly , similar to feta cheese . It 's delicious , and we 're using it in salads . I hope my efforts this time actually produce something like cheddar , but I won 't be unhappy with more feta - type cheese . Oh , due to the fact that I was outside before daylight , I heard something I had not heard in ages : Coyotes were howling ! In the old days when I milked several cows and bottle - fed calves twice a day , I often did the chores in the predawn hours , and most mornings I 'd hear coyotes yipping and howling . I had forgotten how they raise cain when they hear a train whistle . I mentioned to Cliff last night that I 'd like to go for a motorcycle ride . This morning I woke up and realized there was a load of laundry that seriously needed to be washed and hung on the line . So I filled up the washing machine early on . Cliff got up and we ate breakfast ( Cream of Wheat ) . While he enjoyed his third cup of coffee , I did my therapy exercises . As I was doing the last couple of them , Cliff got on the exercise bike for his daily five minutes ; we 're hoping that will be a good " warmup " before we walk , and perhaps his back will benefit . Then he accompanied me to the clothesline and helped me hang some wet clothes , and we walked . Now , I 'm a little bit disgruntled that Bonnie 's calf isn 't taking more of her milk . Her two previous calves were taking every drop by this age . I want to be able to leave home for a few days , and until that calf takes more milk , we can 't go anywhere . It reminds me of something I saw on a sign in front of a church recently : " If you want to see God laugh , show Him your plans . " He must really be having a good laugh right about now . We had all sorts of travel plans that have been put on hold . Cliff asked this morning where I wanted to ride , and I told him I really didn 't care . He suggested we visit a cousin of mine about twenty miles from here , and I told him that wasn 't a long enough ride . But then he started giving me other options , and when he mentioned Marshall , Missouri , I agreed . It takes you through lovely farm country on roads that aren 't too busy . Because Cliff shared some of his junk money with me the other day , I told him we were going to use some of the funds in the " fun " envelope and eat out . I figured there 'd be plenty of places to eat in Marshall . When we got there , we did see several places : Pizza Hut ( no thanks , the only Pizza Hut we like is in Higginsville ) ; Subway ; Taco Bell ; and a few others . But , as I told Cliff , " None of these are ringing my bell . Let 's just save money and eat at McDonald 's . " That 's what we ended up doing , to the tune of $ 4 . 25 . We ate off theCliff filled up with gas and we headed home ( long way around because of road work , but I had my drink to help pass the time ) . It was a nice little getaway , so I 'm going to forget about the $ 2 limeade WITH NO CHERRY AT THE BOTTOM . Oh I would be so stressed if I had to read a book in two weeks . lol Sounds fun though . I don 't know what swagbucks is but I 've seen people posting they got them on FB . Ya 'll have a good Sunday . We are getting ready for church ( the new one ) and leave within the hour . I 'm goofing off for 30 minutes . lol5 : 34 AM Angela said . . . I like the library feature , too , but one thing that always gets me is that when a book I 've been on hold for comes available , it always seems like I ' M not available to read it . Putting that 2 - week limit on something I have to read right then takes the enjoyment out of the whole process . Having said that , though , I absolutely love that little nook . 6 : 09 AM Carolg said . . . What are Swagbucks ? Sorry but thats something I 've never heard of before , I don 't think we have them in Europe . Carol6 : 13 AM I 'm mostly known as ' MA ' said . . . For the most part I 've enjoyed the free books on my Kindle . I love the fact that I no longer have stacks of books laying around the house . I read so much that over the years I 'm sure I could start my own library . Glad you are enjoying the nook . Either one is a great investment . Hope your Sunday is a wonderful one . 6 : 47 AM Lindie said . . . Still haven 't gotten the hang of reading e - books . Bothers my eyes something fierce . Maybe when i get new glasses next year it will be better . Dave , you may have tried a backlit reader , which is hard on the eyes just like a computer monitor is . The basic Nook reads exactly like a real book ; you have to have a light turned on ( or daylight ) to read it . Lindie , most of the free books on Fridays don 't seem to be anything I would read , although I have read a couple of the freebies . I wish I had gotten one last Friday that Angela mentioned on Facebook ; she said it was a good one . CarolG and Sonya , if you go to swagbucks . com you can open an account and then use the Swagbucks search engine rather than Google . As you do searches , every once in awhile you will be informed that you are given some swagbucks . You can exchange the swagbucks for e - gift cards to Amazon . com or Barnes and Noble or Paypal , then use them online . Any time I accumulate 1 , 200 , I buy an e - book for my Nook at Barnes and Noble . I don 't think it would matter what part of the world you live in , since it 's all done online . I first learned about Swagbucks when I noticed one of my regular readers came to my blog every day via Swagbucks . I googled Swagbucks and also asked in my blog for information about it . It isn 't as good a search engine as Google , but most of the time it will get you what you want . There 's no gimmick , really , except that you might see some advertising at the top of the search page . If you use a search engine , you may as well be getting paid for it . I love freebies . Posted by Barnes and Noble has come up with a new - and - improved Nook , but I 'm very happy with the one I have ; I hope it keeps on ticking for years . I don 't spend money on books ; for the most part I read library books checked out here at home . The only way I " buy " a book is when I use the Swagbucks I 've earned doing Internet searches , and of course , that costs me nothing . At present I have 860 swagbucks ; when I have 1 , 200 , I 'll be able to purchase an e - book from Barnes and Noble . When I get a book in this manner , I try to make sure it 's one I really want and might want to re - read someday , because it will be on my Nook forever if I so desire . One drawback to checking out library books for an e - reader is that there 's a waiting list for popular books , sometimes a very long one . For instance , " The Help " : I put a hold on it weeks ago ; I 'm now number 5 on a list of 103 people . Wow ! Another drawback to checking out library e - books is that you can only have four books on hold at one time , but I 'm about to take care of that problem . When we went to get a library card , I told the lady that we didn 't two cards ; so we got a card in Cliff 's name . Next chance I get , I will also get a card in my own name . That will make a way for me to have eight books on hold at one time . This wouldn 't be necessary if it weren 't for the lengthy waiting lists . Right now I 'm number one on the lists for " The Lincoln Lawyer " and " A Big Little Life " , so there 's a good chance I 'll have two books to read at once ; but of course , I have to have them read in two weeks ' time , because after that time the books magically return themselves to the library ! I just finished " Up From The Blue " and couldn 't put it down . I love reading a book that makes me want to keep on reading until I reach the end ! Cliff and I went for our walk this morning ; as we got back to the house , he remarked that Jody 's halter ( Jody is my four - month - old heifer ) looked like it was a little snug . " I don 't think so , " I told him . We entered the house and I said , " OK , I have to get those morning dishes done ; they 've set there long enough . " And I headed toward the kitchen . As I passed the trash can , I noticed a strong odor wafting therefrom and set the trash can on the porch to be taken care of after the dishes were done . Back in the kitchen , I noticed Iris ' dish had no food in it , so I went to the back porch and returned with a scoopful of food . Just as I was about to dump it in the bowl , I saw that the water in the other side of the bowl looked a little murky ; no wonder she 's been drinking from the bathroom stool . So I set down the scoop of dog food , took the dish to the sink , and scrubbed both sides thoroughly . Then I filled the food side and went to get non - softened water , which we get from an outside hydrant and keep in the refrigerator in a jug . The jug was almost empty . I took it outside to the hydrant and filled it . On the way back , I looked at Jody and decided perhaps Cliff was right about her halter ; it did look a little tight . Setting the filled water jug on the back steps , I went into Jody 's pen and loosened her halter by one notch . I 'm glad I listened to Cliff . When I turned Jody loose , she ran to her feed trough , just her subtle way of letting me know it was empty . I went to the garage and got her a can full of feed . When I dumped it in the trough , I noticed she was covered with flies , so I went up on the back porch and got the fly spray . That got rid of the pesky flies , if only for a short time . I picked up the full water jug on the steps and went into the kitchen . " Finally I will get to the dishes , " I thought . I started running the water , but there was the used paper milk filter in the sink . I carried it to where the trash can should have been , but of course it was still on the porch . I went out , pulled the full trash bag out of it , and brought in the empty trash can . Of course I got a fresh bag and lined it with that , then tossed the used milk filter in . Back at the sink I turned on the faucet , squirted in a little dish detergent , and thought to myself , " This would make a pretty good blog entry . " I left the dishes soaking and came here to tell my story . Can anyone relate ? OK , I 'm going to wash my dishes , which ought to be well - soaked by now . This computer desk sure is dusty ; I 'd better do something about that while it 's on my mind , or I 'll forget . I hadn 't held down my first job very long before I discovered that certain months have an extra payday . It happens four times annually if you are paid by the week , and it 's truly a wonderful thing . Here 's how I always paid my bills : Make a note on the calendar of the amount of the bill , on the Friday closest to its due date ( or sooner , if there are too many bills due near the same time ) . On payday , check the calendar and pay the bills written on that day . It must have worked , as we have kept a spotless credit record through the years . Anyway , on those months with a fifth payday , we could buy some clothes or fill our propane tank or pay property taxes or eat out . Sometimes we 'd just blow some of it . ( We hadn 't heard of Dave Ramsey yet , so we never gave a thought to saving any of it . ) Oh , how I miss the extra payday ! With Social Security , we are paid by the month , and that means the extra payday works against us ! ( ignore the little notes on the I - calendar ; I do . ) Cliff is paid on the third Wednesday of each month . That means there are five weeks between our " paydays " this time . There 's one extra Friday in September , but no extra money allotted . What a disappointment ! We 're going five weeks between " paydays " . I told Cliff I was going to be buying as few groceries as possible , and explained that I had to make our money stretch farther this month . The two envelopes that seemed to be suffering the most were the " grocery " one and the " fun " one . This is not good , since I am chomping at the bit to go on a little trip on the motorcycle . Or a big trip . Cliff is ready too , although with the state of his back lately , I 'm not sure we 'll be going anywhere . But I digress . The calf is taking more milk all the time , and any day now the cow is liable to come to the barn with a nearly - empty udder . Once that happens , we can leave any time we like . But not , of course , if our " fun " and " grocery " envelopes are depleted . A couple of days ago , Cliff spent time at our " junk pile " down at the ditch , loading things like an old tractor frame ; heavy , obsolete farming equipment and parts ; old washing machines and dryers ; and other metal objects onto two trailers . Yesterday he had the oldest grandson come over with his pickup and hook up to the heaviest one ; he hitched the other trailer to our Mercury . I rode in the car with Cliff and took this picture of the junk Arick was hauling . I only went along for the ride ; I figured the money was going into Cliff 's tractor fund , and I didn 't really think there would be all that much money anyhow . Turns out they gave him a check for over $ 700 . " Wow , " I drooled , " that 's going to fatten up your tractor fund pretty good ! " " Yeah , " he said , " or any other fund . " When we went by the drive - up window of the bank , Cliff cashed the check and handed me $ 200 . " Do what you want with this , " he told me . He also gave the grandson gas money . Whoa ! ! ! I put one hundred dollars in the grocery envelope and one hundred in the fun envelope . Problem solved for this month , but the next time this happens , I intend to be better prepared . I don 't think we have all that much junk left to haul off . All you working stiffs who get paid weekly or bi - weekly , enjoy those " extra paydays " while you have them . Hello - yes , I am your follower in France , actually the satellite does not quite ' pinpoint ' me correctly - I live in St Romain sur Cher which is in Centre . However , I am English and found your site via another English blogger that I follow . I really enjoy your daily updates on life in the countryside in USA - We also live in the country surrounded by farmland and animals . Now your mystery is solved and you know who I am . I will try to comment from time to time and will continue to follow your blog . Regards CarolCarol , don 't feel under an obligation to comment . Compared to how many people read this drivel , it 's only a small percentage who comment . I do thank you , though , for satisfying my curiosity ! I think it 's fantastic that we country folks can find common interests even though we are widely separated by geography . Speaking of comments , here 's one my friend Ora left this morning on Facebook concerning this picture of our guests : " Is that your little " cabin house " in the background . . . . and those tall trees . . . . are they those pitiful looking little twigs you planted some years ago . . . . ? ? ? ? ? ? wow . . . I need to plant some like that . . . what are they called ? ? ? ? hugs all day . . . . and that Pat and Celeste . . . awesome couple for sure ! ! ! " Yes Ora , that is my former cabin ; perhaps you missed the entry I made about us moving it up here because I never used it any more . And yes , the trees you speak of are the Lombardy Poplars we planted a short three years ago . You need to know a few things about them before you plant them , though . They don 't live long , so I imagine in another three years they will start dying at the top . We knew this when we planted them , but we wanted something temporary until the Norway Spruce got a good start . In fact , Cliff will probably take them out this winter . Another thing you need to know is that they send roots far out into your yard and sprouts will start growing . Here in the country , we had to make sure and put the trees far away from our septic tank and lines , because there can be a problem with that , tooDonna Wood There is someone who regularly visits this blog who lives in France . You can see the statistics on this screenshot I took . Ever day the person comes here from a link at THIS BLOG , which I have followed since the old AOL Journal days . Hello , France ! Feel free to comment here , any old time . Posted by When Celeste called Tuesday evening to say they wouldn 't be here until Wednesday , I told her to let me know when they left Moberly , Missouri , the town where they had camped out for the night . So yesterday when she called as instructed , I told her we would ride toward them on 24 highway and meet them at Casey 's General Store in Carrollton ; I thought it was right on 24 . I told her if there was any problem hooking up to call us . " Trying to meet someone like that never works out , " Cliff told me . " Somebody ends up waiting on the others forever , or something goes wrong . Are you sure there 's a Casey 's in Carrolton ? " " What could go wrong ? " I asked . Silly me . I forgot that half the roads in Missouri are " under improvement " . Just as we got to the edge of Carrolton we were re - routed onto a detour . Then after asking a resident , I found out Casey 's wasn 't on 24 anyhow . It 's on 65 . Thank goodness Celeste follows orders well . She called and we met at a BP station ; there they were with their motorcycles . All 's well that ends well , and we escorted them , through all the detours , to our house . This is the only shot I have of them so far . Hopefully I 'll remember to take a picture of them before they hit the road for Reno , Nevada , today . I fixed them enchilada casserole for lunch and cheeseburgers for supper ; Celeste asked , " Who are we eating ? " and I told her it was Sir Loin . For desserts we had bread pudding and peanut butter cookies . Since I never make these things for me and Cliff , my husband was a pretty happy camper . " I don 't know when you 've made cookies , " he said , munching away . This morning we 'll have biscuits and gravy , another rare treat around here ; that should adequately get the travelers through the first part of the day , a day that is predicted to be considerably cooler than the 99 degrees of yesterday . We saw an article in the Gold Wing magazine once about a group of motorcyclists you can join where you host other travelers as they pass through your area , giving them bed - and - breakfast for the night ; they , in turn , will tDonna Wood I got tired of looking at the picture of a very pregnant Bonnie . After all , she has that big old baby who is two weeks old today . Max has learned a lot in his short life . He and his mother seem to avoid the side of the ditch where he fell in over a week ago , so they 've both learned something on that score . Max already knows what happens when he touches an electric fence , so he stays on the proper side of them . He does hang out with Jody a lot , as closely as he dares with an electric fence between them . Max is taking more milk all the time . Originally I was bringing in two gallons of milk every morning ; it 's now down to one gallon , and I figure within another week I won 't have to milk at all unless we need some milk . That means we won 't be so tied down at home and can go places and do things . Our friends did not make it here yesterday evening . I talked to Celeste on the phone before bedtime , and she said between the breakdown with her bike and the extreme heat ( 99 degrees ) , she couldn 't go on any further , so they camped . I expect to see them some time today . Posted by In our efforts to cut spending , Cliff and I went to Aldi 's today . Now , I 'm not all that familiar with the place , but I 've been in there enough to know their stuff is cheaper than Walmart 's house brands . We got a lot of stuff and spent only $ 41 . However . Because their coffee is half the price of what I usually buy , I decided to try it . Don 't do that ; it isn 't good . It doesn 't even have that wonderful coffee smell you expect when you open the can . However , there 's a fairly worthless store in Lexington called " Save - a - Lot " that has wonderful coffee . I don 't know what the price is like , but I know it 's cheaper than the 8 O ' clock coffee I love so much , and it 's almost as good . I tasted it when we were visiting Cliff 's cousin , Edna . We used to get name - brand bread . Since Cliff retired , I 've been buying Walmart 's brand . Today I bought a loaf of bread at Aldi 's ; it will be the last bread I buy there ; it seemed like week - old bread . Now , we don 't use a lot of bread , so we keep it in the freezer and I get out what we need for immediate use . But I don 't like putting stale bread in the freezer ! Speaking of saving money : In spite of the record - high temperatures all through the month of July , our electric bills have gone down . Yippee ! I 'm only doing two things differently : I seldom use the dishwasher , and I hang clothes on the line whenever possible rather than using the electric dryer . Cliff and I are expecting friends this evening . Celeste and Pat , from Georgia , are riding their motorcycles across country , and they plan to spend tonight here . I became acquainted with Celeste through her blog on AOL Journals , and one time on the way home from visiting our son in Georgia , we met the couple briefly . Celeste seldom blogs these days , but we are Facebook friends . Celeste had a broken clutch cable on her bike about the same time they crossed into Missouri , so that will delay their arrival somewhat . They are , however , on the road again . I visited my orthopedist today for a followup , just to make sure things are going OK . X - rays looked fine , she said . I told her my knee still swells often , but that it doesn 't hinder me from doing anything I want to do . I 'll see her again in six months . Posted by Recently I shared pictures of Cliff erecting a structure intended to support the bargain - priced hoist he bought last spring at a swap - meet . It needed some work , but Cliff got it working in no time . My daughter happened to be here to take a picture the day Cliff actually got the hoist raised to its intended spot . That plastic barrel is to house the hoist when it isn 't in use and protect it from the elements . Here you see Cliff putting the hoist to use . When he 's done using it , he 'll slide it back into its little barrel - house . By the way , Cliff never wore shorts until he was past fifty ; then we started walking for exercise , and I convinced him he 'd be much cooler if he 'd wear shorts . For a period of two or three years , he did wear them ; then he gained weight , they no longer fit him , and he stopped wearing shorts again . This year , with one - hundred - degree temperatures for so long , he decided to be brave and buy some shorts . He 's still uncomfortable wearing them in public ; he says he feels silly having people see him like that . I guess that 's because he never wore them for so much of his life . Nowadays unless he 's doing something outside or in the shop ( weed - eating , welding ) that dictate his legs be covered , if it 's hot , he 's wearing shorts . Posted by Jody , on the left , is almost four months old . She 's been weaned awhile and is eating lots of grain . The halter is on her because I am teaching her to lead . Actually , she seems to have been born knowing how to lead . Most calves , when you start trying to get them to follow you , will balk and refuse to move ; some will even " sull up " as Cliff calls it , and fall on the ground with their eyes rolled back in their heads looking dead as a doornail . ( Strange expression , that . ) But Jody only put up a struggle the first time I had a rope on her ; since then , she has followed me anywhere I lead her . She does think it 's fun to butt me , but I smack her with the end of the rope when she does that ; she 'll learn . Once the fly season is over , we 'll have the vet out to remove her horns , vaccinate her for whatever he thinks is wise , and remove an extra teat . Yes , she has five . It likely wouldn 't produce anything , but I want it gone . I bought Jody because Bonnie , the cow in the background , refuses to give me a heifer calf . Bonnie was perfect when we bought her , but at this point she is battle - scarred : Last year she got mastitis in two quarters , and one of those quarters quit producing entirely . This year the other quarter with mastitis is , for now , giving good milk . But once a cow has had mastitis in a quarter , you can bet it will show up again at some point . Bonnie also has a displaced hip , which causes her to limp somewhat . This problem was caused either by giving birth to those gigantic calves she always has , or else by one of those huge bulls she has to support when she 's being bred . Anyhow , she 's had this slight limp for at least two years . Cliff hadn 't noticed it until I called his attention to it this year . Because so many things can go wrong with a milk cow , I wanted a backup , so I bought Jody . She isn 't pure Jersey , but she 'll do in a pinch . Right now Bonnie is keeping us tied down at home because her calf still isn 't able to take all her milk . So I 'm milking every morning . Hope is in sight , though ; today I got less milk than I have been bringing in ( or pouring out ) . Max 's appetite must be increasing . Let me preface this entry by saying that I believe Harry Truman had no choice but to give the order to drop the bombs on Japan . That 's my opinion ; we are all entitled to an opinion . Those people intended to annihilate all of us or die trying . I usually go to sleep listening to my Pandora radio . I 've created four stations , but I usually listen to the folk station . Every once in awhile I 'd hear someone I believed was Pete Seeger singing a song called " Enola Gay " . It 's a war protest song , and it haunted me for weeks . Finally I did a few searches online and found out it wasn 't Pete Seeger at all ; it was some guy named Utah Phillips . I do love discovering a new folk singer , even if he 's dead by the time I find him . Here are the words to the song : But I really wanted to let you hear this Utah Phillips singing his song , and there wasn 't any such video on Youtube . So I made a pathetic attempt at finding pictures of the Hiroshima tragedy , making a slideshow , and adding vocals of the guy singing the song . Lord only knows how many copyright violations I 'm guilty of , but here it is . If I get tossed in jail , please send me some postcards . We ignored threats of rain this morning and opted to go to a tractor show in Hamilton , Missouri . First , though , we stopped in Richmond to check out a car show . Cliff 's brother was supposed to be there with his car ; when we didn 't find him , Cliff called and found out he had found something more important to do . Here 's a slideshow I made of some of the photos taken at Richmond : When I leave my computer for awhile , a slideshow of all the pictures on the hard drive begins , and it keeps going until I come back . Sometimes I 'll just take a seat and watch in awe , looking at pictures I had forgotten ever taking . This morning I saw a picture taken not so long ago of a couple on their anniversary , holding their cake at an angle so you could see the picture of them atop the cake . They 're divorced now . Or I 'll see one of the twins next door helping Cliff several years ago , back when they were little and cute , before they started chasing girls and before one of them had cancer . I don 't know where to find the pictures on my computer , so I watch until the slideshow moves on to another picture and then stop the show . I only wish there were some way to stop the slideshow at a certain point so I could yell , " Hey , Cliff , come and look at this ; here 's something I hadn 't thought of in a long time ! " But of course , you can 't stop it , and there 's no way to find the location of the picture . If I touch the mouse or keyboard , the slideshow is done . It 's very frustrating . We went to Sedalia yesterday , intending to see all the things we missed at the state fair when we went on Monday . We should have watched the morning news . There had been 100 - mile - per - hour winds , blowing down tents and shutting off the electricity to much of the city . We noticed lots of billboards down as we approached the town , and then saw that many of the stoplights weren 't working . We weren 't allowed onto the fairgrounds , so we went to a city park , ate our picnic lunch , and came back home . Posted by Patsy reminded me in a comment on the last post that if either Cliff or I move on to the golden streets , household income will decrease considerably . Indeed it will , and when that happens , whoever remains will be making some fast changes . My Social Security makes the house payment , pays the water softener bill , and puts some money in savings for emergencies . There 's no way this household will remain solvent without it . As I have said many times , I would have a sale of farm equipment and tools , and sell the place ; I think even in this depressed market the place would bring what is owed against it ; but if not , I could just abandon it to the bank like a couple of neighbors have done with their places recently . I would then move to an apartment in a town or city with sidewalks and a city bus service . I don 't really know what Cliff 's plan of action is , or whether he has one . I do know his boss told him , when he retired , " If you ever need a job , come on back . " That job is one that he could still do at the age of ninety , as long as his mind was good . It 's a bridge that one of us will cross when the time comes . For now , everything is working . Posted by We stayed on budget for our first month on Cliff 's Social Security , but I have tweaked it a little for the coming month . $ 280 for groceries for a month is plenty for us ( we have beef in the freezer , remember , and milk from Bonnie . . . and we don 't do convenience foods ) . However , I 'm used to having our budgeted funds divided into weekly periods , $ 70 per week . So the first week I spent $ 70 just because that 's what I always have to spend . Second week , I didn 't spend $ 70 , so I used a portion of that money to eat out . It was as though I simply had to spend that amount each week . By last week , there wasn 't much left in the envelope and I had to cut my grocery list to stay under budget . So now my goal is to see how much less than $ 70 I can spend each week , and hopefully we can have a little guilt - free fun with what 's left on the last week of our pay period . I plan to get to know Aldi better . I like getting our regular prescriptions at Walmart , but because our Medicare Plus wants us to buy our prescriptions online , they only let us purchase one month 's pills at a time locally . If we lived in town near Walmart or Target or any big drug chain , it wouldn 't be a big deal . Since we 're fifteen miles from such places , it 's pretty aggravating . Next month when Cliff has his regular doctor visit , we 'll have the doctor write new prescriptions , and we 'll start getting them by mail , three months supply at once . It 's cheaper that way , anyhow . I just always preferred to pick them up in person . At some point before the end of the year , Lipitor goes generic , which will save us some bucks . I 've allotted a litte more money for the " fun " envelope , and also for the " misc . " envelope . Let 's face it , I had to use my stash of quarter rolls to go to the state fair . I have no quarters left , and I do want to be able to do something fun once in awhile . When Cliff was working , all these extras came out of his pocket . Now his allowance isn 't big enough to support the frivolous things in life . What little he gets is his , and when I stay out of it , it seems to be plenty . My worst shock was the cost of fuel , which , it turns out , comes to over $ 400 a month . It isn 't that we travel a lot ; it 's the diesel and gasoline for the tractors that makes the bill so huge . That should start to get better as mowing season ends , but meanwhile I was $ 100 low on my estimate of how much we 'd be paying for fuel for all the vehicles . The budgeted amount for doctors and prescriptions , pets and critters , and clothing seems to be on target . I won 't have to mess with those envelopes at all ( knock wood ) . I realize inflation is going to make this game harder down the road , but for now , I seem to have the pesky budget under control . Posted by THE INDIANS KNEWDonna WoodNo one can really own the land : the Indians knew it best , And laughed to see the settlers , as they moved from east to west ; They 'd watch them build their homes and clear the land till it was bareWhile birds flew in unhindered , for no man can fence the air ! No one can ever own the land : the Indians had it right ; You may as well hold back the sun , or parcel out its light . Though fence surrounds a property , it will not stop the deer From moving freely to and fro , at different times of year . No one can truly own the land . The Indians knew it well . Yes , you may write up deeds , and even boldly buy and sell , But talk to all the earthworms and the garter snakes and moles : Tell them the land is yours , and tell them where to dig their holes . Enclose your precious property and hoard each blade of grass ; Post signs that warn , " No Trespassing " , but they will never last ! This earth belongs to everyone who ever drew a breath , And someone else will claim it when you close your eyes in death . I seem to hear the Indians , in my spirit , laughing still . The white man claims to own the land , each valley and each hill ; He plows and discs and harrows it , and sows his precious seed - - - But after he 's asleep at night , the deer and rabbits feed ! An oriental peasant in a far - off , ancient land Had neither monetary wealth , nor slaves at his command . He owned one horse , while all his friends and relatives had none : That was his wealth - - - that , and his handsome , healthy teenaged son . Unexpectedly , his horse broke loose and ran away ; They vainly searched for him , and neighbors gathered ' round to say , " What bad luck , for our friend to lose the only horse he had ! " The old man stroked his beard and murmured , " How do you know it 's bad ? " Time went by , till one day thundering hoof - beats filled the air ; The horse came home : behind him , he led twelve unbranded mares . " Ah , good luck 's come your way again , " said all those loyal friends . " How do you know it 's good , " the man responded , with a grin . The horses needed breaking , to be any good at all . As his son rode a bucking mare , his leg broke in a fall . The neighbors said , " What bad luck to befall this handsome lad . The old man stroked his beard and answered , " How do you know it 's bad ? " A war broke out , and all the youths in every little town Were sent to fight oppressors on a bloody battleground . One youth was left behind because he couldn 't stand , or run . I 'm sure you 've guessed it : that one youth was our old peasant 's son ! You see , what looks like bad luck may be good luck , in the end ; Sometimes a loss is just another chance to start again ! So when misfortune comes along , try hard to not be sad : Perhaps bad luck ? But wait a minute - - - how do you know it 's bad ? I used to write a lot of poems ; I don 't , anymore . There was a time I wrote a poem almost every day and sent each one out to a list of folks who wanted to be included on my " poem list " . Many times I 'd sit down at the keyboard without any idea what I was going to write about , and sometimes those turned into some of my best poems . Every once in awhile , I 'll meet up with someone at church or while shopping ( or even on the Internet ) who will ask if I 'm still writing poems ( or songs ) . I tell them no , and they seem disappointed . Until now , I had not stopped to think about why I stopped writing my poems . Today I only had to think about it for five minutes before I realized what happened : Blogging took the place of my poems . It 's so much easier , not having to figure out a way to say something and make it rhyme . Oh yes , my poems do rhyme . I never was a fan of free verse . I like the old nursery rhyme rhythms , the lyrics of the old standard songs , the words of songs in the church hymnals , the honky - tonk songs from the seventies : my very heart beats in time with such words . I 'm the first to admit that a large percentage of the poems I wrote were mediocre at best , and some of them were just plain awful . And yet , sometimes I 'll look through a box of typed - off poems I wrote years ago , find one I don 't even remember writing and think to myself , " Wow , that 's pretty good ! " But for the time being , blogging satisfies me . The only thing I really miss about the poems is that I could put more personal feelings into the rhymes and disguise the facts slightly ; although the readers might sense my unrest or dissatisfaction , they couldn 't figure out exactly what it was ( or who ) I was talking about . In this blog , I share nothing personal . Perhaps you thought my discussing UTI 's or breast reduction was about as personal as it gets , but no . Those are simply discussions about this aging body . It 's my opinions about others that I try to hold in . I try very hard not to talk negatively about neighbors . That 's getting easier , since both of our next - door neighbors deserted their homes . When we had the renters living in the old trailer that 's gone , it was really hard not to rant about some of their craziness : We rented a place to four people and ended up with eight living there half the time ; that 's a problem because there 's an old , tired pump supplying water to all residences on this place , and a crowd like that really puts a strain on it . Of course , we 'd be the ones footing the bill for a new pump , so I suppose it didn 't matter to anybody else , although if they had been without water for a few days , I 'm sure they would have hollered . We agreed to let the renters have one dog , and next thing you know there were two . I 've learDonna Wood Although it 's happened many times in my life , it always surprises me when an animal comes to me and lets me know there 's a problem they can 't solve alone . If you 've been around animals much , you 've experienced this , I 'm sure . It 's very touching , and in some ways , I consider it an honor . Dogs seem to know they should go to their masters when they 're hurt or ailing . Even cats , independent as they are , know when they 're in need . When I was fully nine months pregnant with my son , there was a very wild cat in the barn on my parent 's place where we were renting a mobile home . She had new kittens , and I went out and looked at them sometimes . Mother Cat , of course , jumped out of the nest and kept her distance . The second day I went out to see the kittens , a tomcat was in the middle of killing one of them . I was frantic with worry over this situation , and I took the three remaining kittens into the house . The mother followed me at a distance ; I opened the door , got back from it and laid the kittens on the floor where she could see them , and she came on in . I then spread a blanket on the couch and put the kittens there ; Mother Cat jumped up and started nursing them . I was already past the due date for my baby to be born , and I realized I was going to soon be in the hospital for three days , and when I got home , I 'd have my hands full with a baby ; I hoped against hope the tomcat wouldn 't come back again , and took the babies back to the barn that evening . The next morning I opened the door to go outside and there was Momma Cat with two babies : she had carried them to me , to be taken care of . I told her I was sorry , that I just couldn 't do it , and took them back to the barn . We had started with four kittens ; now there were two . Before the day was over , the tomcat murdered the other two kittens , and in my pregnant , hormonal , emotional state , I cried for hours . That cat asked me for help and I had denied her . Several years ago we had a couple of Limousin cows . They were huge , beautiful cows , and they had lovely , big babies . However , I quickly found out they didn 't want me messing with their calves . One of them had twins in 2004 , and while the calves were newborn and easy to handle , I wanted to check and see whether they were male or female . That cow butted me down a hill fast enough to make my head spin . Not long ago I related this tale to a local farmer ; he said his daughter raised some Limousin heifers for 4H , trained them to lead and showed them at fairs . They were absolute pets , he told me . " But you couldn 't think about getting close to their calves . " Well , mine weren 't pets . I 'm not even sure they liked me . However , when one Limousin cow 's calf figured out how to get through the fence to the neighboring property and she couldn 't follow , that cow bawled and bellowed until she got my attention , then followed me back to the house until I got some help . You can read the story in my old journal HERE . So it was no surprise to me yesterday that Bonnie left her calf and came bawling to me ; neither was it a surprise when I started walking toward the back pasture and she took the lead and led me straight to her baby . Animals know where to turn when they have no other place to go . That 's more than I can say for a lot of humans . " This poor man called , and the Lord heard him ; He saved him out of all his troubles . " Psalm 34 : 6 Well , I 'm a pathetic gardener now . I planted a short row of lettuce , and one of spinach , early in the season . I went out to harv . . . |
The blogosphere tends to get a little quiet this time of year , with the holidays and all - but I wanted to offer up a few worthwhile links . For instance , the Magic Mulatto blog offers up fiction by Brett Coleman that mentions a story I can 't believe hasn 't been turned into a typical holiday special ( excerpted ) : " He didn 't notice that Greenfield was reading a copy of Derrick Bell 's ' Space Traders ' , or maybe he didn 't care . In the story , an advanced race of extraterrestrials descend to earth and offer the American government the solution to all of their economic and environmental woes in exchange for all of their Black citizens . The political hand wringing over the decision that ensues reveals the racism just below the surface in the halls of governance and in society in the neo - liberal era . Greenfield had been wondering what his fate would be in such a scenario , being ' biracial ' and all . Would he be sent off to the mothership with the Black folks ? And would that be so bad ? Or would the aliens have some criteria for who was and wasn 't Black ? Maybe with their advanced technology they had some way of determining exactly how much of one 's genetic makeup was Black and had some cut - off above 50 % . In that case , people like him would be well off the hook . Like a lot of Black people in America , Greenfield 's father 's ' blood ' was as much Irish and English as it was African . He wondered if the aliens subscribed to the ' one drop rule . ' If so , he and a whole lot of ' White ' folks would be screwed . But he figured probably not . They were rational beings , surely not swayed by primitive human customs . Maybe they 'd leave it to the biracial people themselves to decide if they were Black or not , if they wanted to stay or go . There was no way of knowing really . And Kenny couldn 't know just how much was riding on the answer to his question , having not read ' Space Traders . ' " A failed Mozart ? " Alex said . " That sounds like an empiricist 's nightmare . Throw him and his star - speckled wig on your science - fiction cover , Mason . " As the waitress brought Regan the last piece of apple crumb cake , Regan tapped the bridge of her nose . " Thank you ! I mean , mostly the waitress and Claire , of course . No offense to you space boys . " JJ : … We wouldn 't be doing what we call " rock and roll " if it wasn 't for America . So from what I recall as a kid was that there was black music - which white America didn 't know anything about - and British bands picked up on it , churned it out , digested it and churned it back out to white America . And in that way white America discovered their black music . Every few weeks they 'd have some friends from church over and Randall would make one of his gourmet dishes featuring some kind of roasted or braised meat he learned to cook while they were living in London . They attended the Living Vine Church located behind the grocery store up the street . The Living Vine aspired to be a mega church , a liberal - leaning evangelical operation that attracted mostly ( but not exclusively ) White college graduates from the suburbs who still hadn 't found their niche in the new economy . They 're a friendly and charitable lot , kind to strangers , friendly with neighbors , but only really friends with fellow congregants . On this night , Chris and her boyfriend Jeff were over . Jason , who played bass in the church band , was maybe going to swing by after he broke down the sound equipment . They were gathered around the Goodwill - bought dining room table , rubbing their bellies , as Janey told them about the guy in the window out back . Jeff was sitting right by the window and couldn 't help himself . " I wonder if he 's out there now " he said , then smoothed back his ponytail , swung his arm over the back of his chair , and peeped through the closed blinds . He bobbed his head a few times , closed one eye , then let the blinds snap back and swung around laughing , " Oh my god ! He 's out there ! " ' It was just about lunchtime , and I was finishing sweeping up when Curtis passed by again . This time he was with some of my distant co - workers from public relations . Curtis and I were both from the same side of town , and though he had lived elsewhere for a long time , it was through his old , poorer neighborhood that he was running for councilman . His chances at winning weren 't great , but he seemed to be a popular source of community outreach photos . Back in high school , I let him convince me to stop saving for a guitar and get a ukulele . My thoughts returned to the possibility of seeing Elaine . I emptied the dustbin then headed upstairs , sweeping stray bits along the way . On the third floor , there was a utility closet with a door inside that had been spackled to blend into a wall . A chair propped that door open . Sighing at the hint of smoke wafting in , I reached around the spackle and knocked on the building exterior . " Any temps out there ? " There were a few mini - roofs scattered around the five - story building . When I stepped over the chair , it was onto one of these islands of a sort . Her hands shooting down to her sides , there Elaine stood . " The first one was me hoping , " she said . " I 'm sorry if you had to clean it up . The second - well , I still don 't want you breathing in any of this stuff . " Elaine showed me a nicotine patch on her arm . " For lots of reasons . Hypothetically - if I wanted to kiss someone , it shouldn 't be second - hand . But that 's a process , Roger , like you getting a mobile phone . " It had been a few weeks since we last saw each other . After a little while , Elaine came over and sat down on the chair . I leaned against the building and slid down until I was crouching . This put us in close proximity to each other , and though that felt natural , distance between us and other people had a lot more mileage . We 'd both had our hearts broken once before , and that had been enough . Elaine was brown - skinned and of Chinese descent . Her family owned a restaurant that had been failing since one opened up a few stores down . Their block was in the midst of rediscovery , and she said the new place offered some more traditional idea of Chinese decor . This was why she was temping . Elaine got up and shook my hand in a glorious textbook fashion . We were still shaking hands , past the show of it , I thought , when a woman belted through the door . She beamed as she announced her discovery of a new spot for smokers . When I went to see Arnold in the subway , he was sitting on a milk carton and trying to play guitar . An empty , upturned cap lay next to him . With hands trembling , Arnold barely managed to fingerpick his way through an old blues standard . The resulting tune wasn 't constant enough to sing to , but he was in his own little world . I tapped the back of my ukulele to get his attention . " Okay , " Arnold said , putting his guitar down . " I guess that 'd work just this once . . . I 'm glad to see you 're all right . Elaine told me her family is re - opening their restaurant over on the west coast . Just ' cause she 's going out there don 't mean you 'll never see her again . " All of this was news to me , but I nodded and picked up playing where Arnold left off . He sung the standard words : down and out again today , but maybe there 'd be love tomorrow . The ukulele made it all sound lighter than it was . A small crowd soon gathered , and I recognized the sides of a face or two from my job . When the crowd was thick with a mix of people coming and going , a pair of brown arms swung back and forth at the rear . One arm had a patch on it . Elaine waved through most of the song , and I smiled a little . Then she pointed at her wrist where there might have been a watch . After she left and the song was over , I put on her nicotine patch and played through another tune . When the traffic light turned orange , back to the curb with the bouquets I went . Leaning on the shopping cart packed with floral arrangements , I watched the cars as they zoomed to what was unofficially the good side of town - their headlights freshly lit against the setting sun . It was in this stream , Julia had said , that Tom had the best luck selling flowers . Since he couldn 't stand to do it anymore , what exactly did luck amount to here ? Should I hope a rich old guy who 'd cheated on his latest wife would pass by in his limousine all flower - crazed ? " I 'm sure they 're worth every penny . What they lack in a small but artful card attached , they make up for in being sold by a person of color on the street . My wife loves that kind of thing ! " The walk signal went up , and grinning at my daydream , I towed the yellow line as traffic crawled to a halt . And then , after another sale - free round that I 'd managed to smile through , I did it again sans smiling . A guy in a green car hailed me over and bought some roses . He was among a swath of passengers big on rolling their windows up as I got nearer . But , after the woman in the car behind him watched as he rolled his window down to pay for the flowers , she raised a finger and bought a mixed bouquet . When the sun went down , I should have headed for the pie contest , but in two hours , all I had sold was four bouquets ( at five dollars ) . Only the wind had picked up in the last half - hour . I wanted to do just a little bit more , so as the traffic light turned red , I went out between the cars a little further - out of view of the cart . There was no real logic to this , except some faint hope that maybe the people in the middle and back of traffic were in less of a rush to get to bars and restaurants in pretty neighborhoods . Maybe they 'd see me a bit more , even if they had little use for flowers . On the way back to the curb , the light turned green . The oncoming cars were sparse , and I was surprised to feel the sense of panic that I did . Maybe being hit by a car still affected me after all . On my right , someone honked and I waited where I was for the car to pass . But it didn 't . Soon , a black compact pulled up next to me , and Jean , of the flower - planting lot , was in the passenger seat . In the driver seat there was a husky , dark - haired guy . The look he gave me suggested the distinct possibility that he hated my guts . " Yeah , I 'm complicated like that . " I nodded at the driver . " You want to buy some flowers for your lady friend , buddy ? Or , no wait , that 's not fair . " I looked at Jean . " Do you want to buy some flowers for him ? " I ran for the curb . In the next lane of the street , I held one of the bouquets up to signal a brown car to stop . As it honked and braked in short sputters , the guy in the gray cap grabbed a bushel of bouquets from inside the cart - then he pushed the cart rolling toward the street . I scrambled and tripped over the curb to secure it . Before I joined my friends , I was supposed to leave the flower cart back at Julia 's place . But that would have made me even later , so I took it with me . It wasn 't all that different from pushing the mail cart at work . The venue for the pie contest was the lobby of an art gallery . There were a dozen people at the entrance , and the wind was gusting so that I and the remaining flowers in the cart breathed in their mixture of cigarette and choco - cigar smoke . I stifled a cough and asked : Eyebrows raised , but only a brown - skinned guy with a goatee and a faint accent answered . " Nah , man , " he said . " We 're good . " I had to go in back - first to pull the cart in , and the wind pulled away the petals of some of the bouquets . As I stepped inside the last possible ' best pie ' was being tasted , and it wasn 't Limon 's and Julia 's . Over at the top part of a three table set - up , a group of people swarmed around a pretty woman with an asymmetrical haircut . Before I could turn - " Hey , " a man in a leather jacket said , approaching me . " You can 't bring that in here . Nobody wants to buy any flowers . " " I 'm sorry . I 'm not actually trying to sell any . Just here to see my friends . Look , I 'll just tuck it right here by the door . " " Well , you should . Check it . Without flowers , you 've got no charm at all . But if I were to hand you one of these , well . . . It 's like night and day . " " Hey , Roger , " Tom said . " I 'll put the rest of the flowers in my car . They 're going to announce the winner soon , anyway . " " How is it that you can have that . . . " Limon stopped to nod at a sculpture of a melted man in a corner . " But you can 't let this cart stay up in here for five minutes ? " Through the window , I could see traces of petals zipping through the air as Tom pushed the cart to his car . Limon and I reluctantly joined Julia on the other side of the room , where there was a piece of pie waiting for me . Most of our pie - a blueberry number - was already gone . As we walked through the room , I noticed this wasn 't the case with most of the other pies . Limon shot me a look . " I don 't know why I thought you might actually know how I feel these days . Except for trying to get out of the mail room , you pretty much gave up . " Julia stopped me from going after him . " Just let him go , " she said . " Second place isn 't so bad for somebody else 's contest , right ? " Years after my own heart was broken , I was walking into the street when a van backed into me and then took off . I landed on the ground , just under the bumper of a light blue car . All the air had been knocked out of me . While the sidewalk was busy enough , no one noticed me . I thought I 'd lay there in pain forever until this brown - skinned woman found me . She hung up on whoever she was talking to on the phone , and called the paramedics . In and of itself , this seemed like a miracle , but she stayed long enough for me to be able to talk through the pain . I remember that she lit up a little every time I spoke , though I can 't remember what I said - just her responses . She was intelligent and nice and warm - and pretty to me . And I couldn 't imagine , for the life of me , her being in tune with what already seemed so mapped out in life . I saw her one more time , when I wasn 't so physically broken , and she raised her head , all excited to see me . But it was like I was stuck in a tunnel of myself . I couldn 't get out to say , " Hey . " Tom managed to squeeze the cart in the backseat , and I sat next to it for the drive homeward . Up front , Julia and Tom were both quiet . I 'd wanted to give them a trifle of a good night , but I 'd come up short . The wind howling around the car seemed to say as much . We all laughed , and I knew that without a night out trying to sell flowers to people in the street , those words wouldn 't have wrung a bit of humor for me . When Julia put the windshield wiper on , we laughed again . But under the ginger streetlight , the windswept swarm of petals made for something unique to pass through , and the ensuing quiet was not gloomy like the one before . It was nice enough that I wished I wasn 't a third wheel . Then it felt like I 'd wandered into the path of the blunt side of a van all over again . When Julia turned on a street where there was one side of the local lot , I sat up . The gusts of petals were coming from the garden there . As Julia dropped me off near the garden , I sneezed as soon as the door to the car was open . I told Tom and Julia they didn 't have to stay , but they seemed to be enjoying the site of all those petals swirling upward into the night sky . Me , I sneezed again as I hopped over the fence inside . " It is , " Limon said , yanking away another group of yellow flowers . After he did that , he swiped at only the petals until he had bundles of them in both arms . " She loves me not , and neither do any of those people who want these flowers here and us outta here . They don 't have any love for anybody that 's been here they whole life , man . " " I . . . " I held up a finger , then sneezed and in that time , Limon was well on his way to tearing half of the garden away . " Hey ! Will you hold up one moment ? " I put my hand on Limon 's shoulder , and he slapped my arm away . More sinus than man , I stumbled back and fell on my ass . Score another one for the magic hippie , wherever he was . " Yeah , look , I know . How can it all just come to nothing , right ? Once you get that feeling , it 's like a big scar . I mean , some people . . . you know they could care less about your existence , but when it 's someone you think might not like be that , it hurts worse . " Limon reached out his hand to help me up . When I was standing , I pointed to my face . " The tears in my eyes . . . all allergy - based . " Limon cracked a smile for a second , then slowly shook his head . " Are we even here , if someone over there isn 't telling us that we got first place ? Even if it 's some stupid pie contest . " " Yeah , we 're here . Look , I 'm not trying to defend these stupid flowers . They 're far from people , and I 'd be a complete chump if I did that . It 's just , they already think everyone from here does stuff like tear them up . " After another day like this , I was passing by the lot on my way to the house that Limon 's mom owned - where I rented the basement . It was raining and the flower pollen in the air was minimal . Over in the lot , a pale freckled woman was planting something yellow throughout its grounds . Her volunteers were limited today to the two guys whom usually stood with their arms crossed . " What ? " She grinned and squinted , then headed over to my part of the fence . Her glancing over at the volunteer guys put a stop to their slow advance . I opened the door to my basement apartment at the house Limon 's mother owned , and found her son sitting with his head in his hands on the couch . The smell that wafted through the vents upstairs was nice . Hopefully I could some swing some dinner out of it . " No , I guess not . So this contest is tomorrow night and you 'd want to enter with what ? I can bake in theory , and since it 's probably the same for you , that doesn 't add up to a whole lot . " " We 'll use my mom 's recipe . I would have told her about it , but contest rules say that things have to be baked on the premises . There 's something about my mom being judged there that don 't sit right with me . " I closed one eye and took a breath . " All right , man . I 'll help you bake this pie . Hopefully the power of friendship trumps all . " Limon slowly nodded . " Good . I already went over there and signed up . It 's just , it 's the only winnable thing right now . I know it sounds stupid . " I shrugged . " It sounds less stupid than clubbing . Anyway , I 'm starving . Do you think your mom would let me have some of whatever she 's making ? " " Oh , well . . . It 's cool . I 've been there . Lots of emptiness to deal with plus food equals . . . . yeah . I 'll put something together for myself . " " Nope . Shit , um . . . One of Nellie 's friends tweeted that they 're having a party . I 've been to the place before ; plenty of food . If you really are hungry . . . " " You know what ? You deserve to go to a party and not be someone else 's ticket to street cred . I want that for you , man . " After they talked about some music video , the guy Limon knew let us in at the door of his building . We got some dirty looks as we moved through the hallway - mostly from Nellie 's friends , I imagined . Limon was probably breaking some cardinal rule of dating that I 'd never really bothered to keep up with . Nellie , wearing a green headscarf , was in the middle of a bunch of people over by a bookshelf . Limon stopped at doorway when he saw her ; I tapped him at the shoulder and went straight for the table with all the food . I sensed a general disquieting by the books , but the other guy at the table nodded at me . " Chips . Something that looks like it should taste like syrup , but . . . " He shook his head . " It don 't taste like syrup . And , uh , some kind of pasta salad thing . " The guy assured me he didn 't want anymore , so I lifted the whole platter up . When I turned around , Nellie was standing there . Her eyes scanned me up and down ; they stopped at the platter and then my hair for a little while , until I said : She nodded . " I 'm very sorry to hear that , ' cause , whatever he thinks , I really do care about him . Can you tell him that ? " Some red - haired guy was swishing his head a lot in our direction ; he was head and shoulders over the rest of the bookshelf group . " Hey , Nellie , " he called out . " Is everything okay ? " When she said " yeah , " I headed for the door . Then I heard her tell him to let us have the food . My head dropping , I put the platter down near the door . " Um , it 's an art thing , " I offered . " Speaking of which , if you like pie , come to that bakeoff two nights from now . My friend and I are going to reproduce the best pie in this city , and in doing so , redeem all the people who used to live in this building before they got kicked out . That is all . " " Your problem is you 're thinking about it , " I told him . " Let 's go to Julia 's . If you have to think about something , think about how the hell we 're going to make a pie even with a recipe . " Limon stared across the sidewalk into our reflection in a car door . " It probably won 't do any good , " he said . " Ah , well . Hey , Jules . Did they start planting flowers around here yet ? " I went inside and found Tom sleeping on the couch . Its fourth seat was empty , so I took a running leap into it . Tom did not stir . I waited for him to get up , but he didn 't . When I got outside , only Julia was there . She patted the empty piece of stairs next to her . " Not really . It 's like , you know how at the agency every couple of months , I apply for something out of the mail room . I 'm never quite enough there , though . There . Here . " I hopped up . " I know that . . . Hey , look , I 'm going to cover Tom 's shift tomorrow night . You should help Limon . " I laughed as I thought about it . I was passing this lady 's desk , and she looked at me like I was the biggest weirdo on the planet . So , really , it was a pretty normal day until I went back in the mail room and Phil was lifting one side of a large painting 's frame . " Perfect , " Connors said . Then he looked from Diego to me . " I 'm sure I 've seen you two around , but I don 't think we 've talked . Where are you gentlemen from ? " Mr . Connors began to talk about all the parts of Mexico he 'd been to . While he found that Diego only knew the denser parts , I looked at the maps . They were mostly yellowed and limited to parts of Europe . Anyplace beyond that , and there were less notes around it ; everything got summed up in words like " Terra Incognito , " which I saw a few times , or in a few other Latin words next to a picture of a lion . He also had a few old maps of towns I hadn 't been to . Connors saw me looking at one . " If you went to that place today , " he said , " it 's exactly the way it was fifty years ago . Just beautiful . " Picking his fro with a blowout comb , he said : " And you 're still alive ? I always wondered what would happen if no one said , ' Bless you . ' Now I know . " " I 'm out too , " Julia said . " Tom 's been taking a little time off , so we 're going to go see a movie or something . " She took a few steps , then turned back on her heels . " What about you , Rodge ? " I passed by the old lot on the way home , thinking about nothing in particular . Then after a sneeze , I finally noticed that the volunteer group whom thought they 'd discovered the lot was prettying it up . The weeds had been gone for years , but there had never been yellow flowers creeping in this close . One day we took the long way around the guys who 'd taken up one side of its fencing . At the lot 's furthest side we threw two broomsticks over , then climbed over the chain link fence after them . I let go at the top of the thing like I usually did , and nearly fell on something gross and disgusting . Limon carefully climbed down and had time to pick up the brooms while I recovered mentally . Limon stuffed the cuffs of his jeans in his socks , and I was glad enough for the reminder that I ignored his chuckling . Then we went through the nearest path where the stalks of the weeds had been kicked at . There were lots of paths where someone did that until they got tired and just shoved their way through to the clearing by the old brick wall , like we were going to have to do . " Yeah . " Limon picked them up with a sigh . He held the new one in his right hand ; the old one in his left . " Which one do you want anyway ? " When we emerged into the clearing , I ended up with the new but heavier broom . There were already a bunch of other kids around the wall . They watched as Louis and Brett slowly circled each other with these sticks that looked like fancy wooden swords . Louis was the only white kid there ; he took fighting lessons on the other side of town . Brett nobody ever said a bad word about ( not to his face , anyway ) . They were both cool . Diane , on the other hand , hadn 't been just a grade ago when we talked a lot and some kid called her a female Roger . Now here she was , sitting at the height of the brick wall . Diane moved off the wall and spoke into Louis ' ear . After a sigh , Louis stepped up . " You know what ? It 's okay . Everybody else has got wasters ; they both got their brooms , so , you know , it 's a fair right . Me and this guy . . . " He pointed at me . " We can go . " Brett scoffed . " He don 't look like no ' Rodge ' to me . He 's even more of a herb than that TV dude is . " " Nah , " Brett said . He held his hand up to bar Limon from coming over . Limon pushed it out of his way . " Hey yo , Diane , " Brett said . " Check this out . " Brett swung his wooden sword and hit Limon with it on the side of his head . Holding his ear , Limon screamed and dropped to the ground . His eyes were tearing up . Two other kids quickly walked off . Diane got up and tried to drag Louis away , but he stood his ground and stared . Holding one side of my ribs , I walked over to Limon . Before I crouched down by him , I glared at Brett and shook my head in non - Louis fashion . Looking for support and finding none , I sighed in frustration . I nervously patted Limon , still crying , on the shoulder . " You okay ? Yeah , I know . . . stupid question . But , come on , let 's get out of here . " Green and brown glass bottles rained down , and everyone who was left scattered . Brett ran toward the sound of the voice that had just rang out . Diane finally got Louis to take off with her . A bottle shattered on a rock near my hand , and a piece of glass cut me as I nudged Limon to speed - walking away . |
Shane Devlin yanked the nightgown over her head and groaned as she caught her reflection in the full length mirror mounted to the back of her bedroom door . Irish girls are supposed to be cute … soft and curvy . Not like this . She moved closer to the mirror and sighed . Her fingers twisted the limp , shoulder length , auburn hair that framed her lightly - freckled , but otherwise ordinary face . Stepping back , her gaze dropped to where her breasts should be then followed the line of her waist which dropped straight down where her hips should have been . She never understood how someone who looked as she did from the hips up could have the legs of a model - long , coltish legs , with smooth thighs , dainty knees , gracefully curved calves , delicate ankles , and perfectly formed feet . A long sigh escaped . I look like a sculptor began a statue of a goddess from the bottom up but ran out of inspiration before he could do a proper job of finishing the top . If it wasn 't for my legs , I could put on a man 's bathing suit , pull back my hair , and pass for a guy on the beach . She grinned . Well , maybe not in a Speedo . She discovered her roommates ' lack of modesty the first morning , as she was drying her hair , when Carol walked into the bathroom , said good morning , pulled off her nightshirt , and jumped into the shower . A few minutes later , Gail came in to pee . Then , shower done , Carol pulled back the curtain and began drying off as she asked Shane how she slept last night . Though she was terribly embarrassed that first day , now , four months later , she envied the freedom they felt and wondered if she might be less self - conscious about her own body if she were blessed with the curves Gail and Carol possessed . She blushed at the sight of his hairy , muscled chest and arms , trim waist , promising bulge , and strong legs and felt her face growing hotter as she realized she was looking down when she should be looking up . But by the time she lifted her eyes to meet his , he was already looking past her as he started back to Gail 's bed . Despite her discomposure , her eyes followed him , feasting on the sight of his tight butt and the way his body moved down the hall until he glanced back when he reached Gail 's door , catching her stare . Mortified , she spun around and hurried into the bathroom . " There you go , " Shane said , sliding the stack of children 's books across the counter to the young mother . As she greeted the next person , she noticed the line had grown . Where are they all coming from ? She shifted into efficiency mode , using all her tricks to speed up the check - out process . A few minutes later , the line had shrunk to three . When she heard the front door slide open , she instinctively glanced over . Mark DeLuca unzipped his jacket and ran his fingers through his windblown , light - brown hair . He stretched his six foot frame and started toward the desk to drop off a book . I wonder how many titles there 'll be in the card catalogue . A few minutes later , he surveyed the results of his keyword search . There were more volumes on hydroponics than he anticipated . He always began his research for a new book with an overview of what others wrote about the subject . After jotting down a list of titles , he lifted his denim - blue eyes from the screen and regarded the young librarian at the desk as she scanned library cards , books , tapes , and videos and tucked the return slips under the covers . Several times over the past few months , he caught her watching him . At first , he assumed it was because she recognized him from the photo that accompanied the short biography at the end of each of his books . But lately , he noticed she seemed just the tiniest bit flustered if he smiled at her when he was checking out research volumes . She looks about twenty - two or twenty - three , the same age Suzy was when I first met her . But what a difference . Suzy 's hair always looked stylish , even after jogging for an hour . Hers just hangs there , as if it 's too tired to fluff or curl . Hmmm … she looks a little taller than Suz , maybe five seven or eight . Too bad she doesn 't have even half of Suzy 's curves . The poor girl wouldn 't draw a wolf - whistle from a guy who just spent ten years on a desert island . But her smile … wow ! It was only in their smiles Mark thought the two equal . Suzy was beautiful to begin with . When she smiled , it only added to her allure . Shane , on the other hand , was not blessed with great beauty , but when she smiled , her entire face transformed into a radiant beacon that drew your eyes and held them . He only caught her smile a few times , but each time left an indelible impression . On several occasions , he considered telling her how amazing her smile was , but he was afraid she would think he was coming on to her , or worse , patronizing her , and did not want to take the chance of embarrassing her . He shrugged and gathered his notebook and pencil . As he turned , he looked her way again just as she glanced over at him . Their eyes met for a second and he caught her almost panicked reaction as she quickly looked away . Grinning , he headed toward the shelves to find his books . " Come on , Shane , " Gail wheedled , " it 's Friday night . Why stay home alone ? Come with us . We 're going to D 's . " Shane clearly was not convinced so Gail persisted . " The Leon Roberts Band is playing … great rhythm & blues ! And there 's always a lot of cute guys there . " Johnny D 's was Gail 's favorite nightspot . The club had a knack for finding exceptional performers , many of them virtually unknown until D 's gave them their first break . On a given night , you might find blues , country rock , R & B , folk - even westernized dance music from Zimbabwe . With a shake of her head , Shane said , " Look at the two of you . You 're both beautiful , you have these great bodies and great personalities . Guys are all over you . Then look at me . Skinny , ugly , and shy . If I went out with you two , guys wouldn 't even notice me . Heck , they don 't notice me when I 'm alone . I could probably stand naked in the middle of Main Street and nobody would even step on the brake to look . " " Shane ! That 's a horrible thing to say about yourself . And it 's so not true . You have a nice face . Maybe you are a little skinny , but I 'd be happy to trade these boobs for yours any day . " " You think I 'm kidding ? Do you have any idea what it 's like having to carry these around all day ? How heavy they are ? Half the time my back hurts . And look at this … " Carol pulled the collar of her sweater to the side then moved the bra strap as well . " Grooves . I 've got grooves in my shoulders . How attractive is that ? If I wasn 't scared it might screw up breast feeding when I have kids someday , I 'd have half of them lopped off tomorrow . " So they pay attention to what you 're saying . You can have a real conversation with them . You think I can do that ? Especially in my business ? " I love the work , but sometimes I hate going into body shops for the first time . The guys take one look at me and think I 'm an easy mark … that I 'll never catch on to their inflated damage estimates . I can almost see the dollar signs in their eyes when I introduce myself . " She laughed . " But there is the fun of watching their faces as I go over the vehicle and pick apart their estimate , item by item . I have to admit I get some grudging respect from them after that . But I also know that as soon as I leave , they 'll be joking about throwing me over a fender and fucking me . " " He 's a salesman for one of our suppliers . We went out a few times , and last night he picked me up after work and we went into Boston dancing and then we came back here . You were gone before we got up . " " Because he won 't be . He 's okay , but … " She glanced over at Shane . “… we really didn 't click in bed . He 's one of those guys who thinks slipping me some tongue and pinching my nipples a few times is foreplay . " " I know . But geez , how does a guy get to be twenty - seven years old and not know his way around down there . Besides , he wasn 't all that funny , and he wasn 't all that crazy about R & B . " " Are you sure you won 't come with us ? " Gail asked . " What if we have a no - guys night ? It 'll be just the three of us . We 'll have some drinks , listen to some music , and just have a girls ' night . " " Absolutely . You 've been here almost four months and we 've never gone out just the three of us , " Gail said . " I think it 's about time . " Shane was smiling now . " Well … okay . Just give me a few minutes to change . " She jumped up and hurried down the hall to her bedroom . Carol watched her go . Why have I never noticed how different she looks when she smiles ? Have I ever seen her smile before ? I must have , but if I did , it never made an impression . Or maybe I just never paid attention . She stood and smoothed her skirt . This girls ' night is a good idea . It 's time we got to know more about our Miss Devlin . Mark pushed around the papers on his desk , searching for the Northern Exposure bookmark Suzy gave him long ago . He was a big fan of the original series and lapped up reruns for years after . Late one afternoon , Suzy returned from the mall with a mischievous smile . She told him he could either have a kiss or what was behind her back . Mark was no fool . He opted for the kiss , which turned into an evening of lovemaking so amazing he completely forgot about what might have been in her hand . When he awakened the next morning , he found on his nightstand the bookmark , with a freshly - tied blue ribbon around it . He leaned back and put his feet up . I wonder if such forgetfulness could be a sign of early senility . His soft chuckle was interrupted by the phone . Five years ago , after almost seven years of trying , he finally convinced his college sweetheart and longtime roommate , Brooke , to marry him so they could start a family . And start they did . Justin , their oldest , was born ten months after the wedding . Fourteen months later , Shannon came along . Deek laughed . Before they were married , Brooke would regularly threaten to dump him every time he went more than a day without making love to her . Now , with two kids tiring her out and a thriving business keeping him busy , he only heard the threat if he let a week go by . Four years ago , when the love of his life was diagnosed with cancer and chemotherapy caused her hair to fall out , he went to his barber and had his head shaved in a show of sympathy and solidarity . When he returned home that day , and Suzy got her first look at her newly bald husband , she collapsed with laughter . Then , as he knelt in front of her chair , her laughs turned to tears - tears of love for his sweet gesture , tears of hate for the disease that made it necessary , and tears of frustration at her helplessness . Mark was by her side every day for nearly four months , holding her , loving and comforting her , cheering her as best he could until the night she woke him just before four AM and told him it was time . He begged her not to let go , prayed for just a few more days , a few more hours with her , and cried with her as they whispered their love and their final good - byes . Then , with tears streaming down his face , he held her close as she closed her eyes for the last time . Mark 's last trip west was just four months after Suzy passed . He had enough of everyone 's well - meant , but constant consolation and inquiries about how he was doing and how he was feeling and what a tragedy it was . He hoped Deek and Brooke would be able to just let him be for a few days , but they knew he was devastated by Suzy 's death and could not help being solicitous . Five days after arriving , Mark had to get away . He bought a cheap , old , used car and spent three weeks driving home . He desperately needed to be alone , but also to be with strangers , people who would not feel sorry for him , who would treat him like any other guy , like a guy without a gaping hole in his heart , a guy who had not lost the love of his life . The road trip was just what he needed . Not only did the time alone allow him to begin healing , he found the subject of his next book in a little town in Indiana . He never did learn the name of the place , but when he drove through what passed for the center of town , he was captivated by a large public green with three beautiful footbridges spanning the small stream that gurgled its way from a small pond on one side to a larger pond on the other . He spent several hours sketching the bridges , walking around in the sunshine , and lazing on the grass watching the children play . " Maybe in the fall , " he told Deek . " Maybe we can get Greg out there , too , and the three of us can take off for a few days . Maybe hit wine country or go out to Death Valley . " Gregory Maldonado was the third point on the friendship triangle that actually began with a triangle . When they were kids , Greg lived two doors down from Deek , and it was he who , at age eleven , displayed a bit of his budding skill at engineering when he recognized that the front doors of their three houses were located on the points of a equilateral triangle . A chemical engineer , he lived in Carroll , Ohio with his wife , Elaine , and their four children . " Hell , he can bring her with him . The kids , too . They can stay here with Brooke and the kids . It 'll be fun . " It was Mark 's turn to laugh . " Oh yeah ? Well you better make sure Brooke thinks it 'll be fun before you go inviting them . If you don 't , she may do worse than throw you out . She may cut you off ! " " They are so good ! " she gushed , two strawberry margaritas having overcome some of her shyness . " Thank you for getting me here tonight . I really am having fun . It 's been a long time since I went to a club . And thank you for keeping it a girls ' night . I mean , I knew you guys were popular , but I never imagined what it was like for you . " After a while , Carol noticed it , too , and found herself feeling terrible about it . It must be awful to be ignored like that . All these years , I thought I had it bad having to put up with guys hitting on me all the time . What must it be like to never have a guy pay attention to you ? She shuddered just the slightest bit . " Nothing . Just thinking about stuff . " She had an idea , but she 'd talk to Gail about it later . " So Shane , who do you think is the cutest guy here tonight ? " Shane blushed , but was amazed to find herself saying , " Well , there is that guy at the table near the door . " Carol and Gail glanced over . " He 's wearing a blue shirt . " " I don 't think I 'd mind it if he , I mean , if we … you know . But I could never , I mean , he 'd never be interested in me . " She didn 't normally stumble over words like this unless she was talking to a man . It must be the drinks again . Horror flashed across Shane 's suddenly beet - red face . Words flew from her mouth . " Oh god , no . You wouldn 't . I could never … I wouldn 't know what to … Please , don 't … Oh god … " " Hey ! Calm down , girl , " Gail told her . " I was only kidding . I said , ' what if , ' not that I would actually do it . " Shane clutched her glass and took a long drink , her hand visibly shaking . " I 'm sorry , I 'm sorry . God , I 'm such a … " She took another long drink , draining the glass . " Shane , sweetie , slow down , " Carol told her . " We 're supposed to be having fun tonight . Why are you getting so upset ? He 's just another guy and we 're just fantasizing . And it 's not like you 've never done it before . " Shane and Gail sat transfixed by Roberts ' performance of his new piece , Broadway Blues . Carol was only half listening . The other half of her brain was processing all she was learning about her new roommate . Once she realized Carol would not pursue the sex issue , Shane relaxed and the band 's second break an hour ago was filled with even more conversation than the first . As the song wound down and applause filled the room , Carol suppressed a laugh . Shane was actually bouncing in her chair as she clapped her appreciation of the performance . Then her glee turned to a grimace at the announcement of another break . " You know , I never listened to much music when I was a kid other than the Irish folk songs my mother would play all the time . In college , there was always someone playing rock or pop or something in the dorm or in the quad so I heard a lot then . But I never just sat around listening like most kids did . One time I remember hearing a few girls arguing about oldies like The Beatles and Elvis Presley and about where rock and roll came from . Now , after listening to this , I can see how a lot of the rock songs I used to hear have their roots in R & B . " " Well she 's not the only one , " Carol said . " Think about all we 've learned about her tonight . " One by one , fingers popped up as she continued . " Born and raised in Medford . Saint Joseph 's elementary school . Medford High . Graduated from Simmons College summa cum wicked smart with a Masters in … crap … what was it , Shane ? " " Right . Too many margaritas to think straight . Masters in Library and Information Science . Now you 're a librarian . One sister , one brother - in - law , and one nephew . Loves to read . Okay , we already knew that . " Gail interrupted her . " Do we really need a recap of her life story ? It 's not like we weren 't just talking about it . And if you forget some detail , there she is . " Her fingers splayed as her arm waved in Shane 's direction . " And … you know where she lives . " Shane 's complexion set a new record by racing from healthy pink to Delicious - apple red in just under two seconds . She was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and enjoying her second cup of coffee when Carol shuffled in , rubbing the sleep from her eyes . They made small talk for a few minutes , while Carol poured herself some of the strong brew , split an English muffin , and popped it in the toaster . Then , cup in hand , she plopped down across from Shane , told her she just had to ask her something , and dropped her verbal bomb . Shane 's inexperience occupied Carol 's thoughts all day , yesterday , but between jobs and dates , their paths had not crossed . She knew it was none of her business , and she knew Shane would be mightily embarrassed , but she simply could not go another minute without asking . It might have been different if Shane was still just the person living in the third bedroom , but Friday night changed that . Carol began to think of her as a friend , but that wasn 't all of it . There was more to Shane than either she or Gail realized these past months . They knew she loved to read , for that was all she seemed to do at home , but never imagined the breadth of her interests . The girl seemed to know a little bit about everything and quite a lot about such disparate subjects as horses , modern art , psychology , electricity , and the gourmet jelly beans she introduced them to when she moved in . Later that night , Shane had them laughing with stories about the nuns in elementary school , but the laughter died as she hinted at the loneliness she endured during high school and at Simmons . There were layers to Shane 's personality , a depth Carol found intriguing . She knew people like Shane in high school and college , but never got to know them . She was pretty and popular , and smart enough in her own right , but much too aware of her own social standing to spend time with the geeky kids . Now , she wondered what she might have missed . Perhaps if a real friendship with Shane developed , she would find out . " I 'm sorry , Shane . I didn 't mean to spring it on you like that . It 's just , well , I saw a side of you Friday I didn 't know was there . Maybe two sides . I don 't know with all we were drinking . But I 'd really like to get to know more about who you are . But this revelation about your inexperience is like an elephant in the room . I just can 't ignore it and I 'm never going to be able to concentrate on anything else until I know how and why it got there . " She scrunched her face a bit . " You know what I mean ? " " Look , if you really don 't want to talk about it , just tell me to mind my own business . I won 't be offended . It 's just that you really freaked for a minute there the other night , and … " " It 's okay . I 've been thinking lately that maybe I 've let my shyness define me for too long . It was one thing when I was in high school and even in college I could pretend it was the studying that kept me in my room all the time . But now … well … it was a huge deal for me to move in here with you guys . And I 've been sort of watching you and Gail and feeling like I 'm missing out on things , on life . Friday night just confirmed it for me . " I read somewhere that the best way to overcome a fear is to do what you 're afraid of until it becomes ordinary . I think last year , I might have run and hid in my room if someone asked the question you just asked . " One corner of her mouth turned up as she shook her head . " To tell the truth , that was my first instinct a few minutes ago . But here I am , a little embarrassed maybe , but I 'm still alive , I can still talk , and I 'd like to ask you a question before I answer yours . Okay ? " Carol 's eyebrows arched with curiosity before her lips curled with mischief . " Sure . Ask away . You want the details of my first time or something ? " Shane 's blush deepened , but she returned the smile . " Maybe another time . I want to know why you and Gail let me move in here . " " But I 'm so different from the two of you . You must have had calls from other girls with good jobs who were more like you two . So why did you pick me ? " Carol looked away , but could feel Shane 's stare . Damn ! She knows there 's something else . Something I really don 't want to tell her . Damn ! It seemed so reasonable four months ago , when she was just a girl who 'd be living in the other bedroom . But now … what do I do ? I really want to be friends with her but telling her might hurt her . But not telling would be like lying , and lying is no way to begin a friendship . But if I tell her , will she even want a friendship ? She met Shane 's gaze again and knew she had to be honest . Prefaced by a resigned sigh , she said , " The truth is that it was between you and two other girls . And when we were talking it over trying to make a decision , well , all things being equal , and they were , we chose you … " She could feel her face begin to burn with embarrassment . " … because we figured you wouldn 't be competition for the guys we might bring home . " " Not really . You just did what you thought would be best for you . I 'd have done the same thing in your place , although my criteria would have been different . " She smiled , but didn 't look happy . " I don 't know if it will make you feel any better , but if I really had been in your place , I probably wouldn 't have offered you the room . " She noticed Carol 's eyes widen . " I 'd have been looking for someone like me , you know ? And it would have been a huge mistake because I 'd have remained the shy bookworm who sits at home letting life pass her by . Living with you and Gail and going out with you two the other night has really opened my eyes . " Carol sat back in the chair and regarded her housemate . This girl keeps surprising me . By all rights , she should be insulted and furious with us for what we did . But she isn 't . She wasn 't sure how to react to her indifference so she said , " Shane , I really am sorry . I … " " Please . Forget it . As I said , I 'd have done worse . " Shane indulged in a deep sigh before continuing . " What you said earlier , about why you want to know about me . Is that true ? " " Not really . But it 's my own fault . I 've always been shy . Really shy . Mostly I 've lived inside my head , you know ? I kind of accepted early on that I was never going to shine physically , so I stopped trying . I concentrated on learning , on things that interest me . I know if I was willing to sleep with just anyone I 'd probably find some guys who 'd … you know … but that 's not what I want . If I 'm going to have … ahh … sex , it 's going to be with someone I really care about and who cares about me . That 's old fashioned , I know , but that 's what I want . And if I can 't have it , I 'll stick with reading and learning . " " I guess , technically , I 'm not really a virgin . I … " She closed her eyes and took a breath , letting it out slowly . " Remember , Friday , I told you about my only date ? The night of my senior prom ? " " Well , after the prom , we rode around awhile , then he asked me if I wanted to go to his house and hang out , play some music , maybe dance some more . I was so happy just to be with a boy and it sounded like fun , so we went . His parents ' house was huge and they had a really great family room in the basement . His father worked nights and his mother was asleep , so it was almost like we were alone at his place . We danced for a little while , then he said he was making himself a drink and asked if I wanted one . As you saw Friday , a couple of drinks loosens me right up , and I had way more than a couple . When his father came home and found us , we were both passed out . He wasn 't wearing any pants and I wasn 't wearing any underwear . " She was blushing furiously again . " So you see , I 'm not really a virgin , although I don 't actually remember doing it . " Shane was shaking her head . " No . He never called me again . I sort of hoped for a few days , but I never really expected he would . " Her eyes clouded over as she remembered that painful time . " I don 't think he ever told anyone about it , either . " She sighed . " He was probably too embarrassed . " " Thanks , Maddy . You ruined our game . Sean bet me he could sit silently and look at me longer than I could sit silently and read without looking up at him . " Shifting her attention back to Sean , she smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair . " I say it 's a tie . We can play again to see who 'll be the champion the next time Mommy and Daddy go out and I come over to watch you . That way there won 't be anyone to interrupt us . " " Well , how was I supposed to know you were playing a game . Every time I see you your nose is stuck in a book . " There was the slightest tinge of jealousy in her voice as she wondered why Sean always seemed to save that particular smile for Shane . " It doesn 't bother me . I read , too , as you well know . But I don 't waste my whole life in books . There 's a real world out there , Shane . With real people . Guys , even . " Shane sighed . At least once a month Maddy felt compelled to tell her what was wrong with her life . " Will you stop , please . " Sometimes , that simple request actually worked . Today wasn 't one of those times . From the recliner next to the fireplace , she heard her husband say , " Maddy , if you don 't stop now , I 'll have to call Ma in here . " She could see he was serious , even though he was grinning . It wasn 't often Sean , senior or junior , actually got the last word with her . She and her husband argued many times over the concept of letting grownups live their own lives and Maddy would not have minded another go - around with her sister present , but the threat of " calling Ma in here " was serious . Very serious . Especially when she was in the middle of cooking dinner . Nobody wanted to hear her go off on one of her lectures . Ma 's lectures were more like rants and could go on indefinitely , and she was hoping to be home before bedtime . " Yes , Ma . " Did Ma just choose to not treat me like a child ? " Sean , please help Junior get his hands washed . " She turned to Shane , smiling . If Ma can do it … " Would you mind calling Daddy ? " " I was just kidding , Maddy . As if Daddy would hear that even if he had his hearing aid turned on . " She jumped up and headed toward the door to the basement . Rose Marie Devlin looked around the room and thought how wonderful her life was . I 'm healthy and comfortable and have my family around me . And what in this world could be better than that ? Shane was getting desperate . Monday mornings were usually busy , with moms coming in to return the books and DVDs their kids enjoyed over the weekend . But today , there were less than a dozen in the nearly three hours since the library opened . She hated standing around doing nothing so , in - between the infrequent patrons , she kept herself busy with other things . The only task left was the returns - three carts full of books from late Saturday and today that needed to go back on the shelves . She knew Mrs . Renya , one of the volunteers , would take care of them when she came in at one o ' clock . Still , she pouted . Doing the returns would kill the hour until lunch , but she was stuck at the desk . Unless … Annakiya Manu loved crossword puzzles . She discovered them at the age of eleven , when her family emigrated from Nigeria . By the time she graduated high school , she could complete most daily newspaper puzzles in about an hour . Now , twenty - one years later , the daily puzzles were simply time - wasters for her . Three years ago , when she began working part - time at the library , she was amazed at how so many people would suddenly be interested in a particular subject . She puzzled over it until one Monday afternoon , when it seemed like every third person who came in wanted information about the Civil War . She mentioned it to Anna , who looked at her curiously and asked , " You don 't watch much TV , do you ? " The mystery was solved . " Yes , can I help y … " She almost choked as she straightened up and turned her head . Ohmygod , it 's him ! And he saw me all bent over like that with my butt in the air and … She coughed and cleared her throat to provide a few seconds to compose herself . Mark held out a slip of paper . " The card ca … the computer said this was available but I couldn 't find it . The person at the desk thought it might be on one of the return carts . She checked the one up front and it wasn 't there so she sent me to find you . " She glanced at the proffered note . It was a title on hydroponics . " You must be a fast reader , " she said , surprising herself with her boldness as she turned and crouched down to peruse the remaining books on the cart . " Why do you say that ? " he asked , amazed she actually spoke to him . She never said anything more to him than ' hello ' and ' there you go ' when he was borrowing books . She was still checking the returns on the cart , but he noticed she seemed slightly flushed . His raised eyebrows betrayed his surprise . " Do you keep such a close watch on everyone 's reading ? Or am I under some kind of special surveillance ? " He hoped to elicit one of her smiles , but instead he saw the flush deepening . " No , no , " she said quickly , without turning to face him . " I 'm not watching … I mean , no one is watching you . I just … " " Hey , I was kidding . I was just impressed you noticed and remembered so I tried to make a joke . Sorry . I never was good at jokes . " " It 's not here , either . It could be lying around on a table , or someone could have put it in the wrong place . Or someone might have , ahh , borrowed it without checking it out . " Mark smiled at her . " Boy , you 're nice . I would have said , ' Or some lowlife scumbag stole it . ' " He was gratified when he saw the corners of her lips curl . " I really wanted that one , but I guess I can do without it for a while . " " Actually , it 's not very good . Lots of general stuff you can find anywhere , but not much in the way of instruction and technique . Have you read Hydroponics From H2O ? " " No . A few years ago , my father wanted to try growing hydroponic vegetables and asked me to find some information on the subject , but by the time I read all the books the library had , he changed his mind . He decided it would be cheaper just to grow them in the dirt as he always did . " " Just the eight on the shelf here . And after the first few , I was able to skim through most of the rest . I have a pretty good memory and Hydroponics From H2O was the third one I read . It was so comprehensive the other seven were really just a waste of reading time . What are you thinking of growing ? " Mark stared at her for a few seconds . Did she really read eight books on hydroponics ? When she was probably just a teenager ? " Well , I 'm not sure yet what I 'll be growing . Right now I 'm just doing research to see what 's been written in the field . I plan to write a book about the subject . " " It seemed as if there was more you wanted to say . If I 'm wrong , then it 's me who 's sorry . Should I be sorry ? " " Wait ! " The urgency in his voice , rather than the word , cut her off . " That didn 't come out right . Shane … your name is Shane , right ? " He knows my name . He knows my name ! Her stomach seemed to reach up and grabbed her throat . First he sees my butt in the air and now he knows my name ! She nodded , praying her blush wouldn 't deepen any further . " I thought so . I 'm terrible with names , but I was pretty sure I heard the other librarians call you that . Anyway , I really didn 't mean that the way it sounded . I was trying to make you smile , but … well … my mouth is not always in direct communication with my brain and I 'm as bad with extemporaneous humor as I am with jokes , so please forgive me again . " Shane watched carefully as he apologized and could see the sincerity in his eyes . Unsure about her voice , she just nodded and smiled and saw a change in his face and eyes . It was not just relief at forgiveness , it was something she never encountered before . Gail rolled her eyes . Carol was always on a diet , though she never seemed to get any slimmer . As a nutritionist , she understood the constant dieting was her friend 's way of regulating the healthy intake of calories she consumed at breakfast and dinner . But the pragmatist in her could not understand why so many women like Carol were always so unhappy with their perfectly fine and lovely bodies . Carol related the details of her Sunday morning conversation with Shane . Since then , the idea of finding a guy for Shane had been marinating in her mind . " I don 't think she 'd ever go on a blind date or anything . It has to be someone she meets sort of naturally , you know ? So I figured a party would be just the thing . There must be lots of smart guys here in the hospital you can invite . Guys who would appreciate Shane for her brain . " " Well … I don 't know … yes . I mean , she 's really a nice girl , Gail , and smart . Seriously smart . I 've been talking with her a lot lately and you know I 'm no slouch in the smarts department , but Shane makes me look average at best . But she 's never going to walk the runway in Atlantic City , you know ? So I was thinking that if we had a party , we could all go shopping for party dresses , then we could help her with her hair and get a little makeup on her and maybe one of the brains here will want to hook up with her . " " I don 't know , Carol . You don 't think that 's a little condescending ? I 'm not sure we should be sticking our noses into her love life . " " Come on . What can it hurt ? The worst that happens is that none of the guys want to hook up with her , in which case all she had was some fun at a party . " " God , no ! Of course not . I don 't want to embarrass her or make her the object of someone 's pity . I just want to give some guys the chance to notice the good things about her . " " Look , " Carol said , glancing at the clock on the wall , " I have to get to an appointment . Please , just think about it and talk to her more . You 'll see what I mean about her being smart , even funny sometimes . " " Come on , buddy . We 've been friends our whole lives . As soon as I heard your voice I knew there was a problem . That 's why I didn 't give you the bum 's rush and hang up nine minutes ago . " He lowered his voice nearly to a whisper . " Here 's the thing . With four kids , it 's hard to find time to spend alone with Laney , if you know what I mean . Well , tonight , Jessie and Lois are having sleepovers at friends ' houses and Frank and Kelly are sound asleep . So as much as I love you man , if you don 't tell me why you really called in the next minute , I 'm hanging up and getting naked with my wife . " " A girl ? You mean , like , a girl girl ? " Greg was focused now . Never once , in the two years since Suzy died , had Mark even acknowledged other women existed . " Who is she ? " Mark sighed . " She 's one of the librarians here in town . I 've seen her , I don 't know , dozens of times , but I never really talked to her until Monday . " He gave Greg a rundown of what transpired that day , right up to the point where she accepted his apology and smiled at him . " That 's when it happened . I … " He paused , and the pause dragged on . " Greg , I started to get wood . When she smiled at me like that , my gut suddenly felt empty and I started getting hard . If she hadn 't gone to get a title she recommended … " A chill ran through him . " As it was , I had to stand behind the damn book cart and try to look nonchalant so she wouldn 't notice when she returned with the book . " " So what 's the problem ? You saw a pretty girl and got a hard - on . That still happens to me , sometimes . It happens to every guy . " " No , no . You don 't understand . It wasn 't just my dick . I mean , she 's not really all that pretty . Except when she smiles . Then … I don 't know . It was like the way I felt the first time I met Suzy . But that can 't be . This girl is , I don 't know , maybe early twenties . She 's just a kid . And I 'm still in love with Suzy . I think of her all the time . How could someone else do that to me ? " Greg sighed and silently cursed his luck . " Buddy , I don 't know what to tell you here . You know I 'm not good at this touchy - feely stuff . Why didn 't you call Deek ? " " I did , but he 's not home . They 're out for the night . And this has been going round and round in my head all week and I can 't stand it anymore . I had to talk to someone . " Again Greg sighed . " Yes , I can see that . Hold on a minute and let me get Laney . " He glanced at the clock as he pressed the hold button . It was almost ten . Laney lived for this kind of stuff and would keep Mark on the phone for hours . He shook his head as he climbed the stairs . There 's no way I 'm getting lucky tonight . Three minutes passed and Mark began to wonder if Greg might have decided to have a quickie first when he heard a receiver being picked up . " Hey , sorry , Buddy . Laney 'll be right here . Hang on for another minute or so . " " Hello , Mark , " he heard about ninety seconds later . " I 'm sorry you had to hold on for so long , but Greg insisted on giving me a rundown of your conversation . But knowing Greg , he got half of it wrong anyway , so how about starting at the beginning for me . " Mark chuckled before explaining that what bothered him most was not the physical reaction but the emotional one . " I mean , the whole thing came out of nowhere . It … it made me feel like I was cheating on Suzy , you know ? And now I can 't get the girl out of my head . " " Mark , it 's been two years since Suzy died . She was a bright , beautiful woman . And last Monday , you ran into someone who reminded you of her . You said yourself it was the girl 's smile you first noticed about her . Then … did you read the book she recommended ? " " I thought so . Okay , look at it this way . You meet a girl whose smile rivals Suzy 's . Then you interact with her and discover she 's at least as smart as Suz was . So your body , and your emotions , sensing a familiar combination of input , reacts to it . I don 't think it 's so much this particular girl that has you confused as it is the feelings you 've not experienced for so long . That particular sequence of events made your subconscious think of the woman you love , and you reacted like a man in love . I 'll bet if you return that book tomorrow and see her , there won 't be as much as a splinter to be found in your boxers . " " Huh . " It makes sense , I guess . " But why can 't I get her out of my head ? She 's just a kid . " " Well there you go , dummy . You and Suzy had a great sex life . I know . She used to brag about how often you two did it and how you could … well … you know . Anyway , you 've been denied that particular release for a long time , so of course you can 't get this new girl , with her smile , out of your head . Your subconscious has associated her with those feelings . " Greg must have walked into the room just as she said that because Mark heard the surprise in his voice when he asked her what was going on . As he waited for her to shush him , he marveled at how easily such talk came to most women . Maybe I should branch out and do a How Women Talk book ? " Look , she already knows way more than you do about the subject . And , as you say , she 's a just a kid . You could hire her as an assistant . She could probably use the money to help pay off her student loans . " " But what ? Look , Mark , you can 't hide from women for the rest of your life . Working with this girl will be a nice , non - threatening way to ease back into interacting with them again . " " Sure you do . You say hello to the checkout girl at the grocery store and you talk to me and Brooke for a minute when you call Greg or Deek . You need regular , ongoing interaction . Actual conversations with real female types and … what 's this girl 's name , by the way ? " " Well , I think this Shane is just the ticket . Look , go to the library tomorrow . If you get another hard - on when you see her , then forget it . But I 'll wager all that 's going to happen is she 'll be flattered you want her to help with your research . " " Mark , I loved Suzy , too . She was one of the nicest people I knew . I was closer to her than I am to my own sister . You know how much we talked , so believe me when I tell you she did not want your life to end with hers . She wasn 't afraid of dying , Mark , but she was afraid you 'd do exactly what you have been doing for the past two years . Maybe I should have said something to you sooner , but I know she made you promise to find someone else after she was gone . I know she wanted you to live your life with joy and make someone else as happy as you made her . You 've shut yourself off from life for too long . And now fate has given you a chance , a nice , safe way to get back into living a life that would make Suzy proud . Hell , it wouldn 't surprise me if she was sitting up in Heaven arranging the whole thing . " Mark felt an ache in his chest as he remembered Suzy extracting that promise , not once , but at least half a dozen times . He still missed her so much , sometimes he couldn 't bear it . But he knew Laney was right . He had to start living again . " Good . I 'm proud of you . Suzy would be proud of you . Now hang up , ' cause all this talk has made me horny and I 'm either going to go jump Greg 's bones or pull out the vibrator . Which would you pref … " When he awakened , snippets of a dream echoed in Mark 's consciousness . He and Suzy were walking across a field of grass . She was saying something , but he could not quite hear her . The recurring dream began just before last Christmas . Even in the few instances where he realized he was dreaming , and tried to focus , he could never quite catch what she was saying . As he lay in bed , the images fading , his thoughts turned to last night 's conversation with Laney . He wondered if she , too , still dreamed of Suzy . Though separated by a thousand miles of highway , the two grew so close over the years , thanks in large part to being cut from the same cloth when it came to things like family , politics , and spirituality . The only really big difference between them was food . Suzy lived for heat and strong flavors while Laney was a steak and potatoes girl . Kindred spirits , he called them once , and soon after they began calling themselves the " Kindred Sisters . " " Don 't do this to yourself , " he said aloud . " Nothing will bring her back . Laney was right … they 're all right … you have to move on … you can 't hold onto a ghost forever . " But as he rolled out of bed , he knew his heart did not want to give up the ghost - her ghost . Still , the life of a recluse was a lonely one , and lately , he could feel the loneliness wearing him down . His reflection , with its three - day growth of beard , stared back at him from the bathroom mirror and he noticed a few of the whiskers were grey . With a sigh , he pulled off his tee shirt , stepped out of his boxers and into the shower . " Maybe , " he said as the stinging - hot water cascaded down his body , " maybe it is time . " What the hell 's wrong with me ? I 'm acting like a pimple - faced teenager who wants to ask the prom queen for a date . Geez , if Suzy is up there watching , she must think I 've turned into a total loser . Even imagining Suzy telling him to get his ass off the chair and get on with it didn 't work . I need an icebreaker … something to get a conversation going so I 'll feel comfortable . But what ? I can 't just … Then he realized he was sitting on the answer . " Oh , you must have been sitting on Lord Rich . Why didn 't you just move to another chair ? " Thank you , Lord , for not letting me trip over my tongue again . Oh , crap . I was so focused on getting my ass up here , I didn 't prepare for the most obvious question . What can I say . I can 't tell her it was the best seat to spy on her . I know … Mark drank in her smile as she said , " No , just that one . Rich was a 16th century baron who didn 't mind getting his hands dirty , so to speak , when it came to torture . He was one of the people who prosecuted Sir Thomas Moore . People have been complaining about that chair for a long time , but the director says there 's no money in the budget for new furniture . " She grinned at the formal sentence structure as she looked around to see who might be within earshot , then lowered her voice and said , " The truth is , if you make a donation , odds are they 'll use it for something more pressing than a new chair . If you really want the library to get a new chair , my advice is to buy the chair and have it delivered as a gift . Just make sure it 's vinyl or leather - something easy to keep clean . " " I see . Thanks . " He noticed the panic was gone now , replaced by something else . " You 're not going to get in trouble for telling me that , are you ? " " Only if you squeal on me . " Ohmygod , did I really just say ' squeal on me ' to him ? She was relieved when he chuckled softly . " Look , uh , Shane , I uh … " Just say it , stupid ! " I was pretty impressed the other day by how much you knew about hydroponics . I mean … well … I guess I just mean I was impressed that someone your age would have read so much about a subject like that and remembered it all . " The butterflies in Shane 's stomach shifted into overdrive . No man except Daddy ever said he was impressed with me ! She felt her face flushing but strangely , she didn 't care . And I 'm carrying on an actual conversation with him and haven 't stumbled even once ! " Thank you , " she said , unconsciously treating him to another smile . " I 've always had a good memory and , well … " Her hand swept in an arc between them , indicating the main part of the library . " … books are my life . " That drew from him another soft chuckle . She 's actually pretty easy to talk to . Maybe this wasn 't such a bad idea after all . " Look , I read Hydroponics from H2O and you were right on the money . It really does lay out everything one needs to know . Still , I 'm not ready to give up on the subject . I just need a different hook . Do you know what I mean ? " " Exactly . But that 's going to take a good deal of reading and research , along with some brainstorming . The truth is , brainstorming is almost always more productive when you have someone to bounce ideas off of . " Trade PaperbackSave 25 % ! Enter code UHP3WNLL in the " Apply Discount " box after you add the book to your cart . NOTE : Discount NOT valid on main Amazon site , only through Amazon Createspace store link to the right . |
The Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela is a centuries old trek across northern Spain done by following " The Camino de Santiago " , the road to Santiago . Before February of 2001 I had not heard of " The Camino " nor of the Pilgrimage . By the end of October of that year I was in Santiago after completing the walk myself . I thought that when I reached Santiago my journey was over but I see now that my journey started way before I got to Spain and still has not ended . Years ago my mother and I took a scenic drive through New England . One stop was the village of Concord in Massachusetts . We liked Concord so much we stayed three nights and two day at the historic Concord Inn . The first night we slept there I woke up in the middle of the night wondering why my mother was sitting at the foot of my bed . I remember what a struggle it was for me to wake up . I felt like I was drowning in sleep and fighting my way back up to consciousness . When I finally awoke enough to look at the end of my bed I could see no one but I had the distinct feeling that someone was sitting there . I was confused and looked over to my mother 's bed expecting it to be empty and was surprised to see her form bundled up in the bedding . The second I realized she was still in her bed , whatever was sitting at the end of my bed disappeared . The next morning I said nothing to my mother because I did not want to frighten her . The next night I again woke up but this time because I had the feeling someone was standing at the head of my bed and staring down at me . Again I had to struggle to wake up and as I did I could feel whomever standing there turn and walk away from the bed and into the bathroom . When I was fully awake I looked over at my mother 's bed and saw that she was asleep in it . I then got up to check to see if anyone was in the bathroom but , I can 't explain this , when I got closer to the bathroom I knew no one was in there so I turned and walked across the room to the door to the hallway . As I passed my mother 's bed I woke her up and she asked me what I was doing . I said checking to see that the room door was locked . It was and I went back to bed and slept though the rest of the night . The next day at lunch I told my mother that I thought our room was haunted and she surprised me by saying she knew . How ? Because she woke up that first night and saw something sitting on the end of my bed . Why didn 't she tell me ? Because she did not want to frighten me . Her instincts were right , after hearing this I was very , very frighten . The whole thing was creeping me out . We had eaten dinner at the hotel dining room the last two nights and had become friendly with our server so we decided to ask her if the hotel was known to be haunted the next time we saw her . When we got back to the hotel around four in the afternoon , I looked into the dining room on my way up to my room and saw our server setting up the room for dinner . I went over to her and , after a little small talk , asked her if the hotel was haunted . She hesitated and then said yes , the daughter of the man who built the hotel supposedly haunted the bridal suite . " Where is the bridal suite ? " " Right above your room . " I looked at her stunned and say , " Well , she 's dropping down to visit me , " I told her what was happening and then went up to my room to get ready for dinner . By the time we returned to the dining room the story of my encounter with the hotel ghost had spread to the other dinners and I was asked many questions about what I had seen . I was hesitant to talk about it because the more I talked about it the more anxious I got . By the time I went to bed that night I was a wreck and lay in bed silently asking the ghost not to visit me that night because she was scaring the bejesus out of me . She must have been listening because she did not visit and I slept through the night . Posted by I 've been watching The Ellen Degeneres Show week day mornings . Well , recording it and watching it later . I hate to sit through commercials anymore . I watch mostly because I love her monologues . Listening to her is like having a friend invite you for a drive around the block in their car . You take off and the next thing you know you are driving down a street you 've never been on before , making turns onto other roads from a direction you never expected , and , seemingly , meandering around with no direction . Right when you think you are lost , you pull up in front of your own house , delighted with the ride you have just taken . Anyway , in the first weeks of the show she talked about her new puppy and started a contest to give the puppy a name . A week later she had a list of the top five names suggested by her audience . On the list was the name Lucy . When I heard that I groaned . The next step was for the audience to pick either this name or one of the other four names on the list . When the wining name , Lucy , was announced I started yelling at the television , " NO , NO , NOT THAT ONE , YOU FOOLS ! " Ok , lets talk about dog names . The first mistake humans make is using a Baby Names book to find names for their dogs . Baby Names books list names for babies , what they mean , and where they came from . For instance , under Lucy in a Baby Names book it says Lucy means " bringer of light . " How sweet , not a bad name for a baby . But that is the meaning if you are naming a human baby . If you are naming a puppy you should use a Puppy Names book because human names have a different meaning in dog world . In a Puppy Names book , Lucy means something like ( how can I put this nicely ) " airhead , duffus , goofball , " take your pick . Every dog named Lucy that I have ever met has been all of the above . Lucys are sweet but they chew everything they can get their paws on . Lucy 's are balls of way to much energy . Lucy 's cannot walk up the stairs without tripping . Lucy 's never listen to you . Lucy 's think you are just playing when you scold them . If you let a Lucy off leash they will take off running until they are out of sight . Lucy 's are everything a puppy should be but the problem is they never out grow being puppies . My friend has a dog he named Lucy who was suppose to be a bird hunting dog ; a dog that finds the bird and then points it , keeping the bird frozen until the hunter gets there to shoot it . This Lucy would find the bird , point it for a couple of seconds the pounce because she like to watch the bird fly away . I have another friend with a dog named Lucy who , when he took her on a run , leaped out of the truck and made a made dash across a field and disappeared . Three days later my friend got a call from a man in Denver ( 180 miles away ) saying he had Lucy . She didn 't run all the way to Denver , she only ran about 40 miles before she caught a ride . Other Lucys I have met have been just as big of a pain , in a loving way , as the others . So , when we got our second dog I knew enough not to name her Lucy . Instead I named her Emma . If you look in a Baby Names book it says Emma means " healer of the universe . " If you look in a Puppy Names book it says , " See Lucy . " Emma is the sort of dog that if she had been our first dog we would never have got another one . When we brought her home we did not know we were getting the devil dog from hell . The first thing we found out was if you put your hand anywhere near her it was like putting your hand in a box of snapping turtles . After one week I saw the inside of Emma 's mouth more times that I had ever seen the inside of our dog Kate 's mouth in seven years . The second thing we found out was any time you put her in her kennel she turned into the " Taz , " the cartoon Tasmanian devil . She would race around bouncing off the walls of the kennel making it knock and rock . If you told her to stop and be quiet she would just bark at you , " You 're not the boss of me ! " You 're not the boss of me ! " That puppy had a mind of her own . One thing we tried to teach her was she had her own bowl of dog food and Kate had her own bowl too . Each was to eat out of her own bowl only . Emma liked to eat out of Kate 's bowl , even after she learned she was not supposed to do this . One day I caught her eating out of Kate 's bowl and she took off running though the house . She ran out of the kitchen , into the bedroom , through the living / dining area , and back into the kitchen on her way to the basement . As she passed Kate 's bowl ( without seeming to slow down ) she grabbed another mouth full of food and then raced down the steps to the basement . This was the kind of thing that would make me want to beat her but at the same time want to laugh . One day I told her to stop doing something and she stood there looking me straight in the eye barking , " You 're not the boss of me ! " So I grabbed her , squatted over her and held her down on Emma at one year old on a cold December day " Bud " Neusteter died this week . His family owned Neusteter 's clothing store in Denver on the corner of 16th and Stout back when downtown Denver was the place to shop . I remember walking through the big brass revolving door at the entrance with my mother and past the sales clerks ( always dressed in black ) to the elevators at the back of the stores . While waiting for the elevator to arrive I would examine the murals depicting fashionable women painted on the walls . The place was elegant and every time I went in I knew I was entering a " grownup store . " No messing around , these people where serious about what went on in there . The grownup business of buying and selling quality clothing . My mother always shopped there , even when we were not doing well money - wise , which was most of the time . My mother was smart and always said that if you buy cheap you pay more in the long run because cheap never lasted long . She would hit all the large department stores , Neusteter 's , May D & F , I Magnin 's , The Denver Dry , on the days they were having sales . She was definitely into the Zen of shopping . She never went with the idea that she had to buy something . She was willing to wait if what she wanted wasn 't at a price she was willing to pay . If the article of clothing wasn 't there the next time she came in , well then , she wasn 't meant to be the one to buy it . My mother had the knack of finding the greatest things on sale . I don 't care how many women had been through the racks or piles of clothes first ; she could walk in , stick her hand somewhere in the pile or rack of clothes and find something that everyone else missed . A designer jacket , originally $ 200 for $ 21 . 95 , a hand beaded blouse for $ 7 . 50 . It was like she was being rewarded for her Zen like philosophy of shopping . People would marvel at the bargains she could find . " Something is not a bargain just because it 's cheap , " she would say , " it is only a bargain if the quality is good . " That is why she could shop at Neusteter 's one day and Goodwill the next . If you are willing to look , you can find quality things at a good price anywhere . Posted by Made a couple of changes to the sidebar . I removed Iraq Today because they are making it " subscription only " on the stories I seem to want to read . I 've added a new blog , Fly in the Honey . A blog that Rune , at Queen of Cups , mentioned on her site . Great blog , well written , check it out . And finally , I 've added a new section called , " Just For Fun , " a list of sites I visit for ( what else ? ) fun . Posted by We have a guest blogger today , my 13 year old niece . She doesn 't know she is blogging today but has been sending me e - mails all weekend and I would like to share them with you . It seems she has just found out about that Colorado anti - hero Alfred E . Packer and his deeds . She was so inspired by this story that she has been writing songs about it all weekend . Here are the e - mails she sent me . Packer : Well um okay lets wrap up this song and I 'll be on my way to the hill . Bell you can fill in for Swan . We were on Super Duper Dee Do . ( music starts up again ) Packer ( not singing ) : Now don 't go eating each other while I 'm gone . Ya hear ? ( every one laughs even though it 's not meant as a joke ) I told my husband I was going because I forgot to pick up a few things when I was there yesterday , which is true , but there was nothing that I need right away . I just wanted to drive . Just needed to get in my car and drive . ( Gotta , go , gotta go , gotta , go , go , go ) Get in my car and drive that straight black - ribbon of highway and watch as it rolls under my car and spools out behind me . Drive and watch the grain elevators shrink in my rear view mirror as I race away from them . Drive and watch as a translucent half moon rushes to keep up with me . Drive under a cloudless blue sky that hovers over me like a large inverted cup . ( Gotta , go , gotta go , gotta , go , go , go ) Zoom . Two . Zoom . Three . Zoom . Four . Crap , I am behind a minivan in the No Passing Zone . I watch as the solid yellow line on my side of the road ends and is replaced by the dash - dash - dash yellow line that means it is safe to pass . Zoom . I drive into the Wal - Mart parking lot . Hurry in . Shop quickly . Hurry out . Drive over to Mickey D 's . Wolf down a cheeseburger , fries , and a Coke . ( Gotta , go , gotta go , gotta , go , go , go ) Because I am tired of being surrounded by small town people who know the price of everything but the value of nothing . On the drive home I pass only once , a slow moving farm truck . Posted by Just finished catching up on the blogs I read . At Rashunda 's site she had this link , Awful Plastic Surgery , and I hate to admit I spent a half hour there . The shame , the shame . He not busy being born is busy dying - Bob Dylan My story . I was born dying . I came into this world weighing three pounds - two ounces and then dropped down to two pounds - eleven ounces . I was starving to death . My mother 's placenta was rotting away so I had not been getting enough nourishment in the womb . I was put into an incubator and stayed there for the next three - weeks , trying to decide if I wanted to stay in this world or not . My mother 's story . She was back in her hospital room after giving birth to me when one of the nurses who helped in the delivery came in and while patting her hand , said , " It 's ok , Mrs . Shannon , I baptized the baby for you . " My mother thought that was a strange thing for her to do but did not think anything more about it . Then a few minutes later the other nurse who had helped with the delivery came in , took my mother 's hand , and said , " It 's ok , Mrs . Shannon , I baptized the baby for you . " Now my mother was a little concerned , but she was still a little groggy after giving birth so what the nurse had said did not upset her too much . Next , her doctor came in and took her hand saying , " It 's ok , Jeannie , I did an emergency baptism on the baby . " At that point my mother realized something was wrong . She was 23 years old . My father 's story . My father was in the Navy on a ship floating off the coast of Korea when he got a message that his wife had given birth to a baby girl who weighed three pounds - two ounces . My father went down to the ship 's galley and asked the cook to show him a three pound ham because he want to see how big a three pound baby would be . He was 25 years old . These stories about my birth always make me smile . I don 't know why . " I am writing to you because I have a question . I was in Denver last weekend and stopped at the new Taco John 's on 58 Ave . near 1 - 25 for lunch . I have not been in a Taco John 's for years and did not expect too much . The first thing I noticed was how clean the building was . The second thing I noticed was that the prices were higher than at Taco Bell . Then I ordered two tacos and found them to be tastier than Taco Bell 's tacos . At that point I did not mind the higher price because the service was excellent . I decided to eat at Taco John 's instead of Taco Bell from now on . Yesterday I was in _____ and suggested to my husband that we stop for lunch at the new Taco John 's on Highway ____ and he agreed . We were driving down Highway ___ and could see Taco John 's when we got about a city block away . We turned into the parking lot , which had only two vehicles parked in it , parked , got out , and went inside . The first thing I noticed was there was no one behind the counter . The second thing I notice was the older couple standing in front of the counter looking at the menu . The third thing I noticed was that I could hear a couple of employees taking in the rear and when I looked back there I could see the lower half of one employee beyond the food assembling equipment . We waited for a couple of minutes for someone to come to the counter but nothing happened . Standing there I remembered when we came down the street to the restaurant I did not see any one turn into the parking lot and when we got to the parking lot no one was getting out of any of the vehicles to go inside . So I figured the couple in front of us had been there a few minutes before we got there . Where the heck were the employees ? I got angry and loudly asked , " Can we get some service up here ? " I was looking at the employee who 's lower body I could see as I said this and I did not see him react to what I said , he and whoever he was talking to were too deeply involved in there conversation to hear me . My husband was annoyed by this and said we should just leave , so we did , going across the street to the McDonalds . I don 't understand what happened at the Taco John 's in _____ . I live in the area and I know this is a brand new restaurant . I also know there is a Wendy 's , a Subway , and a McDonalds across the street and a Dairy Queen on the other side of a gas station next to your building . I know the _____ restaurant is not doing that great , the parking lot was almost empty while Wendy 's and McDonalds were full . I know that the Taco John 's is on the " wrong " side of the street from the Interstate . By which I mean , when you come off the highway Taco John 's is on the left side of the street . You have to pass by the McDonalds and the Wendy 's on the right to get to Taco John 's . These are all fast food restaurants like Taco John 's and the last thing you want to happen is for people to walk out of the restaurant mad enough to say they are never coming back . This was my husband 's plan but I decide to write to you instead . All because of that great lunch I had in Denver . All fast food restaurants are the same . I mean you serve fast food . The only thing you can do to distinguish your restaurant from the others is have better service . People are not going to see the food is also better until they try it and if the service is bad they are never going to try the food . So , my question is , which restaurant are you ? If it the one in Denver then I will tell other people how good Taco John 's is and how I am going to eat there from now on . If it is the _____ restaurant then I am never going to eat in your restaurants again and will tell people why . Sincerely , . . . . " I am tired of bad customer service in this country . Part of the problem is employees who think they are doing the people they work for a favor by being there at all . What happened to the concept of doing a job well just because you are suppose to do a job that way ? People seem to think that the amount of effort they put into a job is related to how much they are being paid . A minimum wage job deserves minimum effort . What happened to pride in your work ? What happened to taking pride in yourself for a job well done ? Bad customer service is not just the fault of the employees , it can also be the fault of the management . I am waiting to see how Taco John 's responds to my letter . Good morning , everyone . Still windy here and the temp is in the 40 's ( F ) . The weather service is predicting rain today . Something we need badly as we are at " near drought conditions . " I was talking to a friend last week and he said that right now we need a lot of rain because the sub - moisture is gone . Which means when you dig into the soil you do not hit moist earth under the dry top . He had been digging four foot deep post holes and the soil was powdery dry to the bottom . Please rain , please rain , please rain . Posted by Big , big , wind + old , old telephone lines = sporadic internet connection . So I will just steal something from Easy Bake Coven 's blog to keep you amused . A link to Spiders on drugs . Posted by We have a couple of surveys going on in Blogland today . One at Blue Witch 's site to find out what the most common star signs of bloggers are and whether or not bloggers keep diaries . Over at Coopblog , Elsie is doing a quick sex survey . Be brave - go do it . Scroll down a bit on both sites to find the surveys . Posted by Left Over Camino Story A one point , during a windy / rainy day in the Pyrenees , I was walking up a steep slope to where J an B were waiting for me . J was watching me with the kind of a smile on his face that a parent gives to his child when she is doing something that is sweet in its stupidity . As I walked up the slope the wind whipped my rain poncho around and in between my legs , making it difficult to walk . When I finally stumbled to the top of the slope J reached down and tied together the two ends of the poncho hanging down on the left side of my body . Then he walked around to the other side of me and reached down to tie those two ends together , too . When he finished I just stood there staring at him . When I was four my father took a job down in South America . He flew down first and then a little later my mother flew down with my brother , sisters , and I . At that time flying was still a special way to travel and I remember wearing one of my best dresses , white dress socks , and a shiny pair of Mary Janes . I also remember how the horsehair stuffing in the seat poked through the fabric causing the back of my stretched out legs to itch . Each row of the aircraft was made up of four seats , two on each side of the aisle . I was in an aisle seat next to a very large man wearing a suit and tie . Who knows how big he really was since all grown - ups looked like giants to me at that age . This was when airlines still served their meals on real china and gave everyone silverware and cloth napkins . My tray included a drinking glass of milk and the man sitting next to me got a cup of coffee . I started eating my food as he was pouring cream into his coffee from a small pitcher . He then picked up two sugar packs from his tray , looked down at me , and asked if I wanted to try something delicious . I nodded yes and he tore open the sugar packets , poured them into my glass , picked up his spoon and stirred the sugar into my milk . Then he picked up my glass and handed it to me . I took a sip . My taste buds reacted like a pinball machine that had just rung up enough points for an extra game , " Ding ! , Ding ! , Ding ! , Ding ! . " This was the most wonderful thing I had ever tasted . It was better that soda pop . It was better than ice cream . How did he think to put sugar in milk ? He must be the smartest man in the world . I stared up at him in awe , grateful he had shared this secret with me . I felt the same thing as I stood there looking at J after he tied the ends of my poncho together . Arnold won ! What were they thinking ? Good thing he can never be president of the country . If I were Bush , I 'd start worrying . I think this is a sign that the two party system in this country is dying . Right now both parties are just two sides of the same coin . Their first loyalty is to their own parties . How many times have I heard Bush referred to as " the Republican President , " as if he only represents his political party and not our country . We look like fools to the rest of the world already , and Arnold wining doesn 't help . Posted by I did my morning walk through the fog . Fog is rare here , we get it maybe three times a year . This morning I noticed for the first time that when it gets foggy like this , it 's like walking in a Turner painting . Then I realized that Turner painted what he saw and was not being creative when he did his landscapes with that haze over everything . Since I grew up in an area where the humidity never got above 30 % , everything was always in sharp focus . Turner 's work had a dream like quality for me , but this morning I could see what Turner saw and it was beautiful . Finally rested enough to feel like writing something today . Those short trips to Denver always exhaust me . The turn around is too quick . The emotional roller coaster wasn 't easy either . Arie 's funeral was bittersweet . I reconnected with people I haven 't seen in years while never forgetting the reason we were all there . The funeral was a celebration of Arie 's life which meant lots of loving stories about Arie , singing , and laughter . It was long , three hours , but that 's what happens when a bunch of politicians are allowed to get up in front of people and talk . Since it was Arie they were talking about , some just could not be brief . A lot of love in that church . My sister and I did very well until the casket rolled by us at the end then we lost it and cried . Arie will be missed . I am leaving for Denver this afternoon . Arie Taylor 's funeral is tomorrow morning . I won 't be writing anything more until next Monday . Have a good weekend everyone . Others can run their lives on lies if that 's what makes them happy . Honesty works for you . You might make a name for yourself by being so open in such a secretive environment . You might also make a nuisance of yourself by constantly breaking some kind of social contract . And if a candid observation ruins your credibility , perhaps it 's best that you 're no longer involved . You work so well alone , anyway . Instead of holding your breath for an apology , just forget that anybody owes you one . - By Astrology . com I love the synchronitic quality of my life . : ) Posted by What we know about our parents is based on the stories they have told us or the stories we have heard about them . The week before last , when I got back from Denver , there was a large manila envelope waiting for me . It was addressed to my father . Why am I getting mail addressed to a man dead 30 years ? Then I looked at the return address and see that it was from National Personnel Records Center in St . Louis , Missouri . Last April I had written them asking for copies of all of my father 's military records , so long ago I had forgotten about it . Finally , they are here . I sent away for this information because I realized I actually know very little about my father and almost nothing about his time in the Navy . With my mother 's passing there is no one left who could tell me anything about him . I sent away for these records thinking maybe the Navy could . I sat down and pulled out a stack of about 100 pages of copies and started going through them . The first page was a copy of his Notice of Separation from the Navy at the end of WWII . It said that he entered the Navy in 1942 ( at the age of 16 ) but he had lied about his date of birth to get in - something I already knew . Two things surprise me , first , that he only finished the 8th grade and , second , that he was an apprentice cobbler before he enlisted . I flip through more pages and find another surprise ; my father worked for his father , my grandfather , for a year before he enlisted . I had been told my grandfather had left his family and disappeared when my father was very young . As I flip through the pages I keep seeing my father 's signature and this fascinates me . For some reason this makes him seem more real than I every thought of him before . Then I find a copy of his fingerprints and he seems even more real , a person now , not just a memory . I keep flipping . Another big surprise , a form that shows my father living at the same address as my grandfather and grandmother . So , not only did my father work for his father , but also my grandparents were still living together when my father went into the Navy . Why did my grandmother lie about this ? I see these pages are not in any logical order . I find separation forms jumping back and forth in time . Reenlistment forms doing the same thing . A Descriptive List that show at age 22 he was 5ft 10 inches tall and then one at age 20 saying he was 5ft 8 inches tall . Leave records , rating marks records , transfer records , summary of service records , and then one form stops me dead . A Report of Beneficiaries dated 1946 showing my father as being married . I thought he and my mother got married in 1948 . Then I look at the name - it is not my mother 's . What ? He was married before my mother ? I stop reading and call my sister up and tell her what I have in front of me , and what I have just learned . We both have the same question . Our father walked out on us for good when I was 13 years old . We only saw him once after that when I was 16 . He stayed for a day bringing my sisters and I tiny gold miraculous metals blessed by the Pope , my brother a large portable short - wave radio , and my mother a check for $ 200 that bounced higher than a Super Ball when she tried to cash it . After that we never saw him again . At this point my mother seriously started to look for him to get the child support he owed for his five children . She had the help of the Colorado Governor 's Office and five years later found him . When the courts told him he owed child support he denied having any children or being married to my mother . Then he changed his story and said he was the father of my two younger sisters but not the father of my brother , my older sister , or me ( very strange since my sister and I were born in Naval Hospitals and our brother was born in the hospital our father was born in ) , he still insisted he was never married to my mother . The reason for these bizarre statements became clear when my mother found out my father had remarried . The only thing is , he never divorced my mother . My grandmother always insisted my father was never married to my mother and now my sister and I wonder if she was telling the truth when she said this because she knew my father had been married before , and she knew he never divorced what we now know was his first wife . My sister ask me if there is anything about our mother in all these papers I have and I quickly turn the pages looking for my mother 's name . I find two forms , one a reenlistment form ( no date ) that shows my mother as his next of kin and his wife . It also says she was living at the same address as my grandmother . Poor Mom . The other form is dated June of 1950 and is a certified statement in which my father swears that my mother is his wife , that they got married 6 - 2 - 48 in Charleston , Mass , and that he had one child , my older sister . Why did he have to sign this ? Was his first wife making some sort of claim ? Wala peregrina |
she was only nine , but she had mastered the trade quite well . She will stand at the road side and wait for the traffic lights to turn red . That was how her mother did . ' Just watch the cars , aim for the shinny ones ' she 'll say . She stepped back spontaneously and walked away , ' what a waste of time ' she thought . She looked at the next car , it was an old raggedy van . The driver seemed old and poor , she could not decide whether it was worth the effort begging this man . She looked back at the traffic light and saw that she only had about 30 seconds till it turned green . So she gave the van a chance , ' please give me some … ' the driver stopped her mid way into her chant and threw two green notes at her . There were twenty Naira notes . She jumped at them like a hungry dog . ' Thank you sir ' she said with excitement in her voice . ' God bless madam and the family ' she kept thanking him as he drove off . He found out that I had lied to him . I had failed to share with him a vital part about my past , I kept him in the dark all those years to protect him . At least that is how I wanted to rationalise it . 10 years ago I found out that I had fibroids . I was shocked , ashamed and confused . I was not married then . The doctors ran me through my options . The option I picked then is what separates me from him . We are waiting at the bus stop on a cold Monday morning about to board the 61 to town . We chose to get rid of our cars a few months ago because of Kola 's new found green love . He wanted to save the planet so badly that our life style changed with each new conservation idea . I loved seeing him passionate about something and I welcomed each innovation by complying . We have two cats and a small house . We were living the life for three years . No external family , no comments . We were a perfect fit in this society . I remember when we met we had dreams of travelling and living in a foreign country . He never once mentioned children . He was not a big fan . But I couldn 't tell whether he was just selfish being an only child , or he was kidding . At least now I know he wasn 't kidding . I mean what man knows what he wants at 23 ? I resented what I had done . I was afraid , I did not know what telling him would do to us . I was sure he would still love me , but I was not certain . Especially because Anika was in the picture , it was too risky . So I kept my secret to my self and looked at him everyday wondering if he would love me the same way if I told him what I had done . He walked into the room and ignored my existence . It was already a month since I told him , he was not over it . I deserved it , I did not blame him . I was selfish , and anything that would result from this I decided to accept . ' Why didn 't you tell me ? We dated for three years , yet you kept it from me . What am I going to tell my mum , that you are barren ? ' That word rang in to the air louder than the bells of a cathedral . He had one hand up with his eyes shut as if trying to block my words . ' I can 't do this ' he mumbled storming out of the room . I stood up and held his arm . There was so much anger tied up in his muscles that I let go immediately . I knew it was over . I had ended us not him by failing to share my secret with him . There are few things in this world that hurt a man , and I know now that concealing secrets is one of them . 27Jun2014 Stalking Posted in Reads by doteroms It was 6am . She did not need to check her phone 's clock . Andrea could hear the shuffle from next door , and knew that her brother was about to make his way downstairs through his bedroom window . A ritual he seemed to do each morning for over a month . She heard his window open , followed by his perfect landing . Each morning , he left home and returned twenty minutes later in the same way . No one seemed to notice Peter 's absence , except her . Today she decided to find out what he was up to . Andrea was not sure why her older brother left the house each morning at the same time , but she felt it had something to do with the bullies at school , since it began about the same time . Peter was 16 and one of the tallest in his year - it crushed Andrea watching her big brother getting punched by the boys in his year . She knew she should have done something about it but she couldn 't - it all happened too quickly . Since then Andrea had hated herself for not standing up for her big brother and so felt personally responsible for his welfare . Andrea knew the only way she could help her brother was to follow him . She had tried a week ago to talk about it , but he grew more distant and upset . She did not want to tell Mum because she wanted to be sure she knew what she was talking about . As if rationalising why she had to follow Peter , Andrea spent the next minute convincing herself as she pushed her window up , she was afraid of heights and only realised then how high the duplex was , so shut the window . She made her way downstairs as quietly as possible through the back door . She ran to the front of the house facing the street . She could not find Peter ' I wasn 't fast enough ' she thought . She walked a hundred yards up the street and instinctively took the lane on the right as if heading towards the city . That was when she spotted the green jumper and the black bag pack . She ran after Peter who was walking at a much faster pace . As she closed the distance between them she noticed that Peter had not once turned around - they were only two metres apart , and she was sure she had made enough noise for her brother to know he was being followed . Peter had made so many turns already that Andrea knew it would be a bad idea to go back home alone without getting lost . Andrea observed Peter 's demeanour and she realised something was not right . She was convinced it was her brother - this was his jumper and his back pack , however his gait was weird . He seemed to be slowing down and staggering . Something was not right . She summoned up the courage and finally called at him , ' Peter , where are you going ? ' He stopped walking , as she attempted to touch him , he began walking even faster now , not once turning . Andrea felt for her phone to call her mum , but there was no network service . So she ran after him . ' Peter . Stop ! ' Andrea reached for his arm like a little girl trying to get her father 's attention . ' Listen , whatever is happening to you I can help you ' Andrea still had her hand on his arm , and tried to get a better look at Peter . His eyes were unblinking and stoned . He refused to look at her . Andrea and her family had just moved into the neighbourhood , she had no idea where she was , and for some reason her phone was not working . She ran after Peter as he made his way into a dirt path now . There were no buildings at this part of town just bare land , and make - shift homes . Andrea tried to remain calm , and maintained a hundred yards from her brother . He stopped at one of the shanty structures and took out a parcel from his back pack and turned in her direction , as if heading back . She watched Peter 's expression , there was nothing to see , he looked trance - like , almost as if he was sleep walking . He strolled past her , not once acknowledging her existence and walked on the same path he had come from . Andrea followed her brother home . She watched him climb up into his window . ' Who is out there ? ' Andrea heard the fear in her mother 's voice . ' My word , what happened to you ? Where are you coming from ? ' Trying to calm herself down , Andrea uttered the first expression in her mouth , ' It 's Peter , I think he sleep walks every morning ' . 31Dec2012 Daily Prompt : Use it or lose it Posted in Reads by doteroms The engine went dead , and so did my heart . The car rolled down the hill faster than I anticipated . I tried to restart the engine but it didn 't budge . I hit the break hoping for a miracle ; the car slowed down only a little , but not for long , the hill was too steep . My rear mirror showed more trouble ; two cars were racing up the hill , oblivious of my situation . I horned repeatedly but they kept coming toward me . I turned the steering wheel attempting to get the car to steer into the other lane ; thankfully it worked . I tried to slow the car a little more , tapping on the breaks gently . It was only a few seconds before traffic streamed into my lane ; the motorists horned furiously at me in unison . With every second I kept searching for a way to crash the car into a pavement , but it was moving too fast . I also thought of ditching the car and jumping out like James Bond would . I was sweating all over . My eyes were wet from tears . It was so hard to believe I imagined it all ; as I trembled on my bed . I couldn 't care less what the nurse was saying . All I really wanted was to stop shaking . I knew it was only a dream , but I wasn 't certain it was . What if this was a memory ? 23Nov2012 A Quest for freedom Posted in short story by doteroms He got his things and left . He left all the pain behind . His home which was nothing more than a house filled with memories of sadness and grief . Kona was convinced he had done the right thing . He raced down the street trying to remind himself repeatedly that he was the victim . Kona clutched his bag a little tighter than necessary trying to control the energy and adrenaline that forged through his body . He looked back one last time just in case he was being followed . Seeing the highway just ahead he relaxed a little . He remembered the night when his whole world came crashing down . It was the first time he wept since their funeral . It was the first time it dawned on him that they were never coming back . That he was all alone . Kona cried himself to sleep that night . It was just 2am but he found himself suddenly startled by the creak from his bedroom door . It was dark and the power was out . He searched frantically for his torch but he couldn 't find it . He could see a silhouette at the door , but could not make out what it was . " Who is it ? , " he called out . The shadow advanced toward him , it was a man , a very well built man of average height . He knew who it was now , it was Uncle George . " Uncle , is that you ? What 's the matter ? " Before he could ask a third question , he felt a sharp pain forge through his shoulders as he fell on the floor . " Get off the road you fool , if you don 't know how to cross ask for assistance . " An angry motorist yelled at the teenager who was lost in thoughts . Startled Kona jumped off the road . He had walked for five minutes already and had not realised he had arrived at the busy highway ; a kilometre away from the house . Looking at his wristwatch , he knew he had to move faster . " Angela should be at the bus station by now , " he muttered to himself , scanning the traffic for a commercial motorbike . The last eight years of his life had been nothing but misery and injustice after his parents had died in a fatal car accident . He watched his Uncle and Aunt live like kings and queens while he worked like a mere peasant . Dying intestate , his father had placed his brother as the next of kin . There was little the law could do about it ; except for his uncle to take care of him . " Young man we understand , and we promise you they will not hurt you again . Right now you have to go home , you cannot stay here . " the policeman had said as he gently shoved Kona toward the door . " You don 't understand , they beat me every night at 2am , I cannot sleep , I am afraid . Please help me Sir . " The little boy pleaded with tears in his eyes . It was a lie . Kona knew nothing would be done . The entire village was corrupt with Uncle George 's lies and political ambitions . Everyone cowered at his presence . His father 's death had made it all too easy for Uncle George to attain the fame he and his wife hungered for . The villagers all thought Kona was insane , they believed anything they were told . School was torture for Kona ; his classmates despised him because their parents had fed them with the same lies . The only person who ever talked to him was Angela , a little girl about his age who used to come on holiday from the city twice every year . She was his next door neighbour , she heard him cry every night for help . Kona remembered vividly the first time they met . She was different . She was not anything like the other girls in the village . Her hair was braided differently in tiny spirals of corn rolls all meandering into eachother , her smile was so beautiful and welcoming . That was the start of a friendship that manoeuvred Kona 's already disordered world . The beatings continued as both his uncle and his wife , Carol took turns to whip him , in a quest to change the insane boy . But , he grew used to it . He feigned unconcious whenever he wanted them to stop , they didn 't know whether he was pretending or not . They never bothered to check , when they saw him motionless they knew he had been cured for the day . Meeting Angela gave Kona the strength he needed to live again . She was the only reason he kept fighting to live . He had forgotten how meticulously organised she was . She never understood that plans were always subject to change . As she continued speaking , Kona 's mind was once again lost in the events that had made him late . It was 12noon , no one was at home , Aunt Carol had travelled , Uncle George was at work , Kona was supposed to be at school . He waited for his Uncle to drive out and then broke into the house . He had been planning this escape for years , thanks to Angela , the plan was flawless . He had his own key to the house unknown to them and he knew where his documents where . The birth certificate and the adoption papers were lying in Aunt Carol 's neatly arranged stack of books . He quickly grabbed his documents and stuffed a few clothes from his room into his bag and headed for the stairs . As he locked the front door , he heard the sound of a car engine revving in the compound . His uncle was back . He pushed Kona through the door , sending the skinny teenager lying face down on the floor . The force was not anticipated . He got back on his feet and looked his Uncle in the eye . He could sense fear in the man 's eyes . " Don 't you ever lay your hands on me again I am tired of this , it has to stop now Uncle . " He had not addressed him as ' Uncle ' in eight years . His courage earned him three slaps and a dozen kicks . " Get up ! You want to be a man ? " He said , talking between breaths . " You want to run away ? Don 't you ? You are ill Kona , you cannot survive out there without us you stupid boy … " Kona looked around for an object big enough to knock down his Uncle . He noticed the glass vase twelve inches away . His body ached all over from the kicks . He struggled to get on his feet , then took few steps back feigning tears as he apologised for his actions . This was Kona 's cue . He lifted the glass vase with all the strength he had and threw it at his Uncle . The hefty man fell on the floor with a thunderous sound , as pieces from the broken glass dissipated all over the wooden floor . Kona looked at his Uncle in shock . He was not sure whether he was dead or not . He did not want to know . He pulled his Uncle into one of the rooms downstairs and swept the mess on the floor as quickly as he could , that was when he noticed his Uncle 's phone . He picked it up and discovered his Uncle had not successfully called his wife . He took the phone with him , picked his bag and left . He was already at the bus station now . It was packed with so many people ; from travellers to traders . He began searching for Angela . She should have bought their tickets by now . " He was the only loose end of this plan . " He thought . He called her , her phone was off . He dialled the phone number more carefully this time , and he received the same message . Beads of sweat lined Kona 's forehead as he struggled to remain calm . He broke into a half run , as he walked and ran at the same time , searching more frantically for Angela . She was not in the bus station . She had not come to the bus station . He had no ticket . No money . He sat on the floor in frustration and cried . He cried because he had nothing to live for . He began to second guess himself and for the first time ever , he believed what his Uncle had said . He couldn 't survive without them . He was ill . 12Jun2012 Taking what is ours ! Posted in Reads , short story by doteroms This is my first attempt at a short story on this blog … hope you enjoy reading this . Please leave your comments The waves poured in sea water in to the sandy shore in quick successions . The clouds were darkening as they moved across the sky . The wind raised sand , paper , and everything on the floor in to the air . I watched women struggle to get their children in to the house and fishermen retreat to the shore for safety - the whole village was in a frenzy . I looked at my fishing net and decided that today was another failed attempt to make some money and I grudgingly returned home . Fishing has suddenly become a daunting experience in Ekpe , and it has nothing to do with the weather . It is difficult finding fish in commercial quantity ; the available fish are either polluted from oil spillage or dead . Many of the men in Ekpe who were fishermen have decided to leave Ekpe in search of another employment . My wife , Ufoma has pressured me to do the same but it is not that easy . I think the most pressure came when my best friend recently got a job which earns him a lot of money . I discovered yesterday that his wife now has her own shop and his children attend a private school in the city . When the thunderstorm was over I went to Eduvie 's house . I have been deliberately avoiding my best friend for over a month . The truth is I was ashamed to admit that I needed a job . I really was prepared to settle for any job I was offered at this point . " Eduvie listen . I am broke and Ufoma is going to kill me if I don 't get a job . You know we are expecting a baby . I am not here to beg you for money , I just want to work in your new place . " " But , Philip I told you to come with me . The problem with you is that you are too stubborn . " He rubbed his tangled afro ; a mannerism I observed he did when he was deep in thoughts . " Look , my new job is not so conventional . I am a dealer in oil exports . I - I think it will be a good idea to come and see for yourself . " At this point I got confused . What sort of job takes place at night ? I could only count a few legitimate jobs that could . I had a funny feeling this was not part . I was just so desperate and eager to make money that I did not have the patience to wait . What was I doing ? I couldn 't believe I had just said yes to a job I knew nothing about . As I left home that night at about past 11pm , Ufoma was very upset that I was going out at the dead of night . I had to come up with some flimsy excuse about assisting a friend who was in trouble . Once I left the house all the thoughts imaginable , came to my mind . I became sure that I had made a bad decision and I started second guessing myself . When I was on the point of chickening out after walking about a kilometre by now , Eduvie appeared from the darkness . " You are so fortunate you came in time , we would have left you . Come on hop on . " Eduvie motioned for me to climb on top of the pick up where three other men stood . As I climbed on board , I soon realised why they were standing . There were lots of buckets and huge containers littered on the back of the pickup . One would have thought we were going to fetch water for the village . Eduvie chatted away with the others after he introduced me to Austin , OFegor and Kevbe . I had no idea what they were talking about , I just enjoyed the beautiful midnight breeze that cooled down my perspiration from the walk of a few minutes ago . The sky looked blank with just a few stars in sight , it was a new moon so it did not help that the sky was not starry today . The drive was about an hour long , there were flash lights everywhere as if we were approaching some sort of night market . The driver suddenly stopped the engine and all five of us disembarked and took the implements from the back of the truck . Eduvie handed me a flash light and asked me to come with him . I held two huge cans , he had a hose and a pale and another object . " This is precisely why I refused to tell you earlier . I knew you will judge me ! There is nothing wrong with what we are about to do . The oil is ours ! It is for our people . We cannot let these foreigners extort our land and leave us with nothing . I am tired of waiting for royalties . Its either u bend down and fetch or you return back to the truck and wait for us . " All through this discussion , I was so upset that I did not realise how far long we had come in to the swamp . I even failed to realise how large an oil pipeline was . It was huge , and it ran deep along the surface of the forest . It was when I stopped arguing I realised the pungent odour emanating from the oil . There were so many men and women there . It was like a market place . As some where leaving with huge barrels others were coming with larger barrels . There were some young men who we had to pay to obtain the oil . I found this pretty confusing because this was public property . I could not believe Eduvie was getting his money from oil bunkering . It was totally unacceptable ! What did he mean by taking what is ours ! I have to be drunk to get myself in this trash . Ufoma will be so unhappy . It took me over an hour to get to the truck . I imagined I was walking too slowly . I brought out my phone to call my wife . I felt so ashamed of myself . After several minutes I punched her numbers into my cell , a custom I was used to than just dialling her contact name . Just as I was about to answer I heard the first bang . I thought it was the local kids playing with fire crackers . Few seconds after I heard it again , this time it was much louder . I looked into the truck the driver was fast asleep . I suddenly saw people running from the direction of the bunker . " I don 't know honey , I … I … . " the ground shook uncontrollably as if a volcano was about to erupt . The driver suddenly woke up and came out of the truck and looked at me bewildered . " Run idiot , the pipeline has exploded " . I just stared blankly at him , I felt my heart had stopped beating . He suddenly dragged me by the hand and we ran away from the scene to join a stampede of people who were now on the mainstream . I turned back and cried because I knew my friend had died taking what was not his . |
There was a phone ringing in the distance . It sounded like it was from a neighbor 's house . It kept ringing but nobody picked it up . The sound came nearer after awhile . She stirred from her afternoon nap in the reclining rattan chair . Then she realized it was her own phone in the living room that was ringing . She got up quickly to pick it up . She tried to say ' hello ' , but her lips refused to part . Quickly she wetted her lips and said ' hello ' again . It was a voice of a little girl on the other end . She was crying . She sounded desperate . ' Auntie , please come to the hospital . My mother is very sick . She cannot talk . They said they have to operate … ' The voice trailed off and she only heard her uncontrollable sobbing . She recognized the voice . The girl and her elder brother were siblings she used to baby - sit every now and then when their mother had to go to the hospital for her regular checks . The girl was then about 3 years of age and her brother was 5 . Her mother 's condition had been getting worse recently , but she single - handedly tried to raise the kids . The husband had been going after another woman who had now openly become his mistress . Too lazy to earn his own money , he preyed on women to fund his existence . ' What a parasite ! She must have been blind to have married him . But what 's done can 't be undone . Poor woman . There wasn 't even a relative that she knows of . ' When she got to her in the 3rd class ward , the woman was barely breathing . She wondered why she wasn 't put on life support . She spoke to the doctor who was about to send her into the Operation Room . She pleaded with him to put her on oxygen because it seemed to her she wasn 't going to last very long . He agreed to do it . She went back to stay with her beside her bed . The woman grabbed both of her hands and said hoarsely , ' Please promise you will take care of my 2 children . I have no one else to depend on . ' Her voice was almost a whisper . Her final effort to get an answer from her almost exhausted her . Even as she tumbled the question over in her mind , she said yes . It was going to be a heavy burden on her . But how could she ever refuse a friend who 's most probably making a last request of her life ? She had no time to weigh the consequences of her reply . She said yes even though she was only 26 and had 2 small children of her own to raise while both she and her husband were struggling to make ends meet . She said to the nurse , ' Please , the doctor said to put her on oxygen . She 's very weak . ' She 'd noticed the distance to the O . R . was quite far and she was having difficulty breathing . She was afraid the woman might not make it . The nurse said , ' Don 't worry . This is our job . We know what we 're doing . ' She spoke as if the visitor was interfering . They lifted her from the bed and wheeled her away on a stretcher . But a moment later she saw the doctor himself personally carrying the limp woman and rushing back into the Intensive Care Unit followed by the nurse and other attendants . They tried to revive her . But she was gone . She held the girl close to her and they cried . Just to convince herself she did the right thing , she called her mother and told her what she had put myself into . She said , ' How could you make such a promise ? You think you can handle such a burden ? ' ' Mother , ' she said defensively , ' what do you expect me to say to a dying friend 's last request ? She had no one . No family . I 'm her only hope . I couldn 't just say no . ' Even if she had said no , she would still end up with these children anyway . They had always looked to her for help had no other relatives that they could depend on . At least the mother died knowing her children will be taken care of . Somehow , she found the will to do as she promised . She partitioned an extra room in her wooden house and raised the kids like they were her own . They are now both grown up and married . The boy got involved with a Buddhist Charity Organisation and went to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims rebuild their lives . He and his wife are both still there . They are childless . The girl met a young man who did not pass her approval but she stubbornly stuck with him . He inherited a fortune from his parents but he soon spent all the money . It seemed like she was destined to live her life like her mother did . The husband took no responsibility for the family . The brother sends her RM1000 every month to help put her children through school . They 're on their own now . She had kept her promise . He went to work part time in a shoe store . There was this guy who was bigger in size working in the store with him together with a few others . He didn 't take too much notice of him at first , as he didn 't quite like the way the guy swaggered , talked a little too much and too loudly . So he kept a tolerable distance from him . He kept to his work and twice a week in the evenings he would routinely attend karate class . But life has a way of spitting in your face just to test your patience . He knew that bragging about anything just wasn 't profitable but like most teenagers he loved to discuss what he did in his spare time with his colleagues . Word got around . Big guy with the big mouth heard of his regular pastime . " So I hear you 're the chop - chop kid , huh ? Wow … Let 's see what you can do with bricks . Chop - chop ! " . Big guy came up with some discarded bricks and stacked up a few in the store 's backyard where the guys sometimes hanged out during their breaks . He ignored him and went back into the store . Stay out of trouble . Big guy followed him in and said , " Hey , what 's the problem ? Hands too soft or what ? Sissy 's shouldn 't learn how to fight ! " He looked at big guy and said quietly , " Look , I don 't think I need to show you what I can do with my hands . No point chopping bricks . Doesn 't prove anything . " But Big guy didn 't want to give up just yet . Every now and then he would make some taunting remarks . He had this notion that with his size it was enough for him to push little guys around . And nobody 's going to push back . Not even karate kids . He kept reminding himself of his dad 's words : Stay out of trouble , stay out of trouble , stay out of trouble … . The pressure eventually began to build up . His nerves and senses got more and more tensed day by day . Every word , every gesture the big guy made rang louder and more obtrusive each time . He was up in the store - room getting a pair of shoes for a customer . Big guy came up later and was rummaging around looking for something . And the remark came rather casually , as if two old friends were discussing the weather . There was an exchange of words , loud and harsh , back and forth . Big guy lunged at him with a fist . He dropped the shoes he had in his hands . By the time he had done with him , there were shoes and shelves all about the room like a cyclone tore through it . Big guy had a badly mauled up face and he couldn 't see where he was going . His size didn 't help him after all . For a whole week he couldn 't sleep peacefully . It was pretty easy to whack the daylights out of someone . The bigger the size the larger the target . But he worried about what the other guy would do next time they meet . He feared for his safety in case the guy were to hit back at him unawares . He wished he had been more patient . He 'd learn that solving a problem with violence seemed to create more problems . He stopped going to work . That was until the day the big guy showed up at his front door with his head still in bandages , a solemn smile on his face and offered his hand . Every time we hit the expressway our main aim is to move into the fast lane . It has become a habit . The slow lane isn 't inviting at all because there are the ' too slow drivers ' whose fastest is around the region of 80 kph . You make yourself tired more quickly weaving in and out between lanes . On top of that is the bumpy ride . Having slow - moving and heavy vehicles on that side all the time probably wears out the tarmac faster . There are always rough patches coming up barely a few months after each resurface . So we keep on the fast lane and make way for speedsters when they show up in the rear - view . Not quite a safe strategy , but then , out on the highway , when 's it ever safe ? I was in the 65 % seat as usual . That seat is dubbed 65 % because the vulnerability in case of a crash is roughly in that region . My colleague was driving , and his usual speed was 110 - 130 kph . Morning traffic around this time on the expressway was normal and easy - going . But that morning our driver was a bit edgy . I soon noticed why . He was grumbling under his breath about some crazy guy behind us . A tailgater . He speeded up slightly . The tailgater followed suit and kept sticking to our behind . For us normal guys that 's uncomfortable to say the least . We braced ourselves for some quick change in our situation . Soon enough , we noticed about a kilometer further down the road there appeared to be something not quite ordinary had just happened . Our driver reduced his speed slightly but was on the lookout for a gap in the next lane . He was an occasional tailgater himself , but he knew the hazards pretty well . As soon as he got one gap that gave him enough clearance he cut in to it . The tailgater zoomed pass us . He found himself staring at a couple of glaring red tail lights which were moving at less than half his speed . Surprised , he swerved right with his tires emitting squeals and smoke . His fender grazed the center guard rails and bounced back into the lane and ' swayed his dancing hips ' a few times . Somehow he managed to avoid major damage . We could have given him a standing ovation , only we couldn 't stand up . We just clapped our hands as we cruised past him . It was too dark for him to see our brief jubilation anyway . See ya Mr . Tailgater . We may never meet again , but then there are your relatives who behave just like you out there somewhere . They may not be as lucky . That goes for us too , but we hope they give us a sign so we can avoid them . We 're not too eager to compete with them anyway . We 're allergic to sudden stops . The boy couldn 't swim . So he rented an inflated tube and used it as a float . He leaned back on the float and paddled with his hands and feet . He floated around by the beach , not daring to venture too far out . He enjoyed the rise and fall of the waves , the cool sea breeze and the warm sun . He could hear the laughter and screams of pleasure of other kids along the beach and the splashing of bathers around him . He listened to the occasional calls of seagulls . It was very relaxing . It was like sleeping in a cradle . He almost fell asleep . His floating tube was suddenly yanked from under him and he found himself in the water . He yelled , but he heard no sound from his own mouth . Water rushed into his throat and his nose . His feet couldn 't find the friendly sand at the bottom . He opened his eyes even though they were stung by the sea water . He struggled and reached out with his hands towards a pair of legs he saw in the water in front of him . The waves tossed him about and the legs kept trying to move away . He managed to grab hold of one of the legs . He didn 't know who they belonged to . He didn 't care . He had to get out of the water . He had to breathe . His ears were ringing , his lungs were bursting and his heart pounding against his chest . Somehow , he did not die . Someone had grabbed him by his hair and pulled him to shore . When he came to , he kept throwing up salty water . It was a crowded beach and no one had paid much attention . They just watched quietly and went away to whatever they were doing , more immersed in looking after their own pleasure . When he got home later , nobody asked him what happened because nobody knew about the incident . It has been forty years since then . The man was having an idle chat with one of his older neighbors at his local haunt . He didn 't know why , but something the other man said prompted him to talk about the past and he mentioned to his neighbor that he once almost drowned when he was a kid . He recounted all the little details that he remembered . He then said that even if he found the guy who had saved him , he would not thank him for it . He should have let him drown and spare him a life of misery and suffering . The older man sat and listened quietly while he complained . When he 'd finished telling his story , the older man nodded knowingly and said he knew what happened . He was the one who had rushed into the water and pulled him out . He was a life - guard . He saw how it happened . He knew who the other kid was who pulled the float from under him and caused him to fall in the water . The other kid was a big sized half - wit who didn 't understand rules . He was watching him and he thought maybe this kid could do something nasty . And as if on cue , he did just that . He was in time to save him because he was running and diving into the water even before the kid went down . Kim looked on with great sadness as her father lay on the bed immobilized by straps , tubes and needles all over his body . The regular beep of the heart monitor comfortingly reminded her he was still alive . The accident was almost fatal . His right thigh - bone was split diagonally from the knee to his hip and his left shoulder bone and upper arm was fractured in a few places . There was a crack in the back of his skull . Miraculously he survived . The first time Kim 's elder sister saw her father 's condition she fainted and collapsed right in the door way . After she recovered she stayed around in the ward to help look after him . For someone who 'd lived most of her life in a village , moving around in an ICU ward was like living in an alien territory . Once , she clumsily stepped on something while moving around the room and the heart monitor which normally went beep . . beep . . beep . . suddenly went beeeeeeeeeeeee . . . . . . . All at once nurses and doctors were swarming all over the ward in panic and yelling questions . After he was discharged from hospital Kim 's father was confined to the wheel - chair . Before they sent him home , they measured his right leg and found it was shortened by two inches . He tried to walk but it was more like a crouching and standing routine without much forward progress . And it was painful . And he couldn 't lift his left arm . One day they received a phone call from someone who claimed he was an old friend of Kim 's father . They 'd grown up together in the village near the jungle . During the Japanese occupation he joined the resistance movement . At the end of the war they wouldn 't allow him to leave so he remained in the jungles to fight the British and later , the Malayan armed forces . The Emergency was long over but he still lived in the shadows . He learned of Kim 's father 's condition . He recognized him from a photograph in a newspaper article about the accident . He wanted to help an old friend . They made arrangements to pick him up from a bus station in a town 50 miles in the north . He came . The two friends had an awkward reunion . They didn 't have the chance to talk of old times . The job at hand was urgent . He made measurements of his friend 's wounded leg , hip , shoulder and arm . Before they dropped him off at the local bus station , he left instructions for them to buy a free - range chicken , several large bottles of Wu - jia - pi wine and a list of herbs . The chicken must be male , perfectly healthy and exactly one kati in weight , not one tahil more , not one tahil less . They had to enquire at a few kampongs nearby before they found a chicken of that exact weight . The bill for all the items came to a few ringgits short of one thousand . Then they waited for the friend to call . This time , he asked to be picked up from a bus station in a different town . He 'd come prepared with pieces of bamboo , cut to size to fit perfectly his friend 's body and limbs . After he 'd checked and verified every item in the list , he was ready . He asked Kim to prepare the kitchen and get him a knife and a good sized wok . Then he told Kim to leave . She must not look . But she was curious . She peeped through a gap in the partition between the adjacent room and the kitchen . He grabbed hold of the chicken , chanted some verses for a while and left it standing on the table . Curiously , the chicken did not move or try to run away . It stood on the spot quietly while he sharpened a knife and started a fire in the stove . Then he declared to no one in particular , This has to be done right . If I fail to do this right , I 'll have to abandon this quest to heal my friend . He raised the knife and sliced the chicken into two halves from the head to its feet while it remained standing , spilling its guts , blood and feathers on the table . He raised the knife again . This time the chicken was quartered , one piece in each direction of north , south , east and west . He gathered the pieces and threw them , guts , blood , feathers and all into the wok which he 'd heated up on the stove . He poured in the wine and threw in the herbs . He stirred and stirred and stirred until after many hours he was left with a paste - like concoction . This he scooped from the wok and laid out on some old newspapers to let it cool . He tore up strips of old clothes and tied Kim 's father by his good arm , his good leg and his body to his iron bed . The whole family was asked to stand by to hold him from struggling and be prepared to listen to a lot of cursing and screaming from the patient for the pain would be unbearable . He then applied the concoction to the pieces of bamboo and tied them on to the wounded parts of the patient 's body with strips of cloth . Kim 's father had very little education and most of his vocabulary consisted of the best of words never found in dictionaries . That night , for hours on end , the whole family had to put up with a whole string of expletives . He spat , he hissed , he cried and laughed , and he cursed everyone while the pain racked his whole body . But they kept silent and determinedly took turns to hold him down , wiped away his sweat , saliva and tears , while the man of the jungles told of how he once suffered a gunshot which broke his arm and had to heal himself with the same method with the help of his comrades . At dawn , they found him sleeping soundly . The man removed the bamboo casts and threw them away . Again , they sent him off and he asked to be dropped off at a different location . They never heard from him again . On their next visit to the hospital , Kim 's father walked into the doctor 's office with a slight limp . They measured his leg and found it shorter than the good leg by a mere half inch . The doctor pulled Kim aside and asked her endless questions . But Kim would never tell him the truth . She promised the man that it would remain a secret . She went home to look for the recipe but she couldn 't find it . I love golf balls . I don 't play golf though . Did a number of tee - off shots while I was in Genting 's Awana club some years ago just because I got challenged by our CEO . I 'm kind of suspicious he doesn 't take kindly to people who don 't play golf . Anyway my only relationship with golf is that I keep a golf club by my bedside . One that a neighbor wanted to throw away . That is for adjusting the air conditioner flaps manually . If you think that 's for security , my opinion is that it wouldn 't serve any real purpose if there 's an intruder in the house . I believe the better answer would be to make as much noise as possible , like triggering the car alarm for example , to scare him away rather than confront him . But it 's still better to keep something handy just in case . My only other involvement with golf is I 'm in the habit of picking up stray golf balls in , of all places , football fields . I think there are some budget conscious wannabe golfers who find the tee - off practice ranges at the clubs are charging too much for their pockets . So they do their stuff at housing estate football fields . I think they pose a danger to kids and other residents , but so far I haven 't heard of any complain yet . The drawback is that they lose their balls often . I must have picked up at least 4 of these around the fields in our four adjoining housing estates . The 5th one cannot be counted because the guy was still practicing at one corner of the field . That was one early morning when we were passing through the field . I said to wife , ' Someone just lost another golf ball ' . I picked it up and slipped it into my pocket . Someone said , ' Aah ! ' Then I saw him . He was standing near a clump of trees in a far corner of the field with a club on his shoulder . Embarrassed , I said , ' Sorry . I thought it 's someone 's lost ball . ' I placed it back on the ground . He said , ' It 's ok , you can have it . ' Generous guy , I thought . I said , ' No , thanks . ' I think nobody 's doing tee - off practices on football fields after that . Now , the thing I noticed about golf balls is that they 're made to near perfect symmetry . You can place one on a flat surface and the tiny flat area on top of the ball would be exactly central and directly opposite the tiny flat area on the bottom . That 's how I could clamp one on a bench drill and make a hole right through the center of the ball . 4 balls drilled this way are enough for me to replace the 4 pesky casters on my wife 's clothes drying rack . The original rubber casters came with fine American inch - thread fittings for which I couldn 't find replacements anywhere after running through every hardware shop and supermarket in town . Almost had to throw away the whole rack just for want of some spare tires . Every time you mention a place someone comes up with a story behind it . A colleague asked about my kids . I said the youngest is in National Service camp . Sik . A jungle clearing on the edge of a kampung . A place called Kem Rimba Taqwa . I said . Oh . . . That place is not very clean . She said . It 's an ex - army camp . Yeah , you 're right . They haven 't started the clean up job yet . The facilities aren 't quite up to expectations . You know , maintenance isn 't one of our strong points . My father - in - law was a staff sargeant stationed there many years ago . One night the captain was reading in his room by candle - light . Suddenly , he noticed that the candle was moving slowly from one end of his desk to another . He ignored it . The candle moved again slowly back to its original place . The third time it moved , he decided he 's had enough . He drew his pistol and cocked it . " Do that again and I 'll shoot , " he warned . The candle stopped moving . He finished his reading and went to bed . Well , it 's been many years since then and many national service trainings have been carried out in that camp . Any old ghost would have shied away from that place . I don 't think they feel comfortable staying around humans either . But it would be wise not to challenge them . A certain rich man in a village lost a chicken . Just a chicken out of his backyard coop full of chickens , but he went ballistic and had to blame someone for it . So who should happen by but a village bum , a young man who had nothing better to do but spend his days hanging around the village shrine , fishing by the river or playing with the kids . The bum argued and yelled and said he didn 't even know there were chickens around the place ! A crowd gathered round . The rich guy was adamant he got the right man . " Show us the proof then , " said the villagers . The wealthy one couldn 't get any proof , but he refused to let the young man go . Then the young man had an idea . He suggested they go to the village shrine and ask the Tuapehkong . He thought the Tuapehkong would favor him because he was always there taking care of the place . The rich guy agreed on one condition . If the young man was found guilty he will be banished from the village . The bum said confidently , " OK , let 's go find out the truth . " Tuapehkong decided in favor of the rich guy and the poor bum was thrown out of the village . He had nowhere to go , so he hiked to the next county . The folks in the next county were fighting a war with several of their neighbors . The young man was immediately drafted into the army . They trained him . To his own surprise he found he could do lots of things he never knew he could . He learned fast and he fought well with different weapons . He was always suggesting strategies to his captain and they kept winning battles against their neighboring county . And they kept promoting him until he became a general . Then they won the war . Years went by and the emperor heard about the young general of the county . He summoned the young man and made him a general of the imperial army . He won campaign after campaign , until the whole country was united under one emperor . The wars ended and the emperor made him a governor of his own county . It was good thing . The guy had a desire to visit his home village again . The first thing he saw upon entering the village gates was the little shrine and the Tuapehkong staring at him . He stared back . He ordered his men to tear the shrine down and throw everything into a vacant lot nearby . That night he had a dream . " Who are you to order me to do things ? " asked the governor . " You didn 't stop them from throwing me out of the village years ago , remember ? They still think I stole that chicken . " " I did that on purpose . If I 'd told the truth you 'd still be a village bum today . But look at you now . A word from you and things will be done . " The governor bowed his head when he realized the truth of that . When he woke up the next day he ordered the temple to be built . The rich man who lost the chicken protested . The vacant plot of land belonged to him . The governor said , " I shall now pass a law that says all land not occupied or planted with food crops shall belong to the government . " Soon the rich landowners began to lease out their lands or hired laborers to plant crops instead of leaving them to grow weeds or became jungles . I write . Well , sort of . . . But when I run out of words , I paint . You can see the results of my efforts at ARTWEEN and ABSOLUTEARTS . Anger is useful . It gets you to act . Anger has often led to social advancements for the aggrieved which facilitate social cohesion . I welcome anger in doci . . . Thanks , BFM89 . 9 for broadcasting the interview today . Most appropriate as it 's Teacher 's Day . To listen to the podcast , click on this link below : I know , I know , I 've been very bad . Haven 't posted anything since August . But life has been ridiculously busy with so many different project . . . Paul has to eat something . After hours of crying and vomiting in his hotel room , he needs to eat regardless if he is up for it . He left his work phone for . . . * Man * : Ok , what is it that you want ? I 'm sure you don 't need money . In fact I think it 's you who could . . . ( Timed post ) Phone : Ring ring * Aaron Picks up * Aaron : Hello ? Oh its you dad , what 's up ? Dad : I have a problem with my PC . The cursor disappeared . I 've got . . . |
Here you can read through the whole transcript for this interview . Click on the listen icon to hear any of the tracks . You can search on this transcript by clicking [ here ] for the research tool . Alternatively you can download the full transcript [ here ] MargaretPerson with diabetesBorn in Doncaster in 1949 . Diagnosed Type 1 in Doncaster in 1968Overview : Margaret developed pneumonia from living in a damp prefab and missed a lot of school . At 9 she attended an open - air school for sick children and was ostracised at secondary school because of her different background . She left at 15 with no qualifications , but earned more as a seamstress than her father did on the railways . She was diagnosed at 18 and married at 20 . Her husband was in the RAF and she was treated in RAF hospitals . She has had serious hypos and many health problems , but enjoys making spectacular iced cakes and playing with her grandchildren . I was born in 1949 . My mother was a housewife ; my father began work in the coal mines . He then left there and went and worked on the railways . In Doncaster . Then , he worked for the Yorkshire Electricity Board for many , many years . I was brought up in a council house . In fact , the first house that I remember when I was very small was a prefab that was built just after the war when there was no houses . So , they built the prefabs , but I was quite ill at the time , because the damp of the prefabs caused me to have pneumonia two or three times in about three years . So , my mother was advised to move house so that I would be upstairs and not at ground level . So , we moved , when I was about seven years of age , into a council house , which was then off ground level - a three - bedroomed house , which had coal fires in each bedroom . I also , as I moved , re - got pneumonia and had to have poultices wrapped round my chest with some awful smelly cream on , that … it smelt like winter - green or whatever it was , and it was dreadful . And I just remember not being able to breathe properly . My grandmother had it in later life when she was about seventy six years of age , but that was an onset of being old . That 's all I remember having diabetes . But now , myself was the first one to have it , my sister got it about ten , fifteen years after I . Her son - my sister 's son 's got it . Now her son - his little boy 's got it , No , not really . I remember that when I first left school at fifteen years of age , I was working as a seamstress for Montague Burton 's , and , at the time , I didn 't realise that my father was bringing home ten pounds a week . And with piece - work , the more you do , the more money you get , so my mother thought it was lovely . I worked very hard and I handed all my pay - packet over to my mother , and didn 't realise that I was bringing home fourteen pounds a week , which was more than my father . So , I used to hand my mother the money over , and she used to give me so much back for my bus money , and so much for my pocket money , and the rest my mother kept , which went away for our holidays , so . Yes , I would say that . My mother did a lot ; and my father . Although we didn 't get very much , we always went on a holiday . Generally it was in a caravan , and also we always went for a daytrip . And when my father was on the railways , they put so much a week away , and you had one day out . And when you got to the station , they gave you a carrier bag , which had a packet of crisp and two sandwiches and a cake , and we thought that was lovely . And when we got on the train , they all gave us - I think it was - a ten shilling note each , for each person , and it was absolutely brilliant . At the end of the day , to get back on the train from either Cleethorpes or Bridlington , whichever they decided that we 'd go to , we was given another bag to go home with , with sticks of rock in . And it was really marvellous , you know , the day out . Schooling - because I was sort of suffering with illness in my younger years with chest . . . breathing problems of pneumonia , colds - colds after colds after colds , I lost a lot of schooling . And I remember going to Doncaster town centre to go to - I can 't think what they call it - it was called Sunlight treatment , of where you went in , you got undressed , you wore a pair of goggles , and I had to stand in front of these hot lamps for five minutes , and then turn my back for five minutes - you had to keep turning round . But the only problem with that was , after I 'd had the treatment you went out into the cold air again , which wasn 't beneficial , because the heat that you 'd got didn 't do anything because you went back out into the cold air . ( 3 ) Also , at the age of nine years of age , I 'd lost that much schooling I couldn 't hardly read , and I went to a special school called the Open - Air School . And it had a lot of children there - people with Polio , people - I don 't know what they call it is when they cough a lot of sputum up and they have to have their backs packed . And I remember every morning we was given Maltalene and Iron - a big tablespoon full - before we started our class work . Yes , that was a day school . And also I had the sunlight treatment there , which it was all closed in , so that , when I left the treatment , I went down a glass corridor back into class . We also had our lunch . Then afterwards , we all laid down on these cast iron beds and we was made to go to sleep for one hour , and then get up and then go back to our classes again to give us a rest . I went to that school for . . . I was nine when I went there and … eleven . . . yes , ' cause I went to the secondary school in a normal school . And I was there - they taught me to read in that two years - that I was able to go to a secondary modern school straight away , which was very good . I even remember a little poem , all that many years ago , and it 's called Ducks ' Ditty , and it was " All along the backwater , through the rushes tall , ducks are a - dabbling , up tails all ! Ducks ' tails , drakes ' tails , yellow feet a - quiver , yellow bills all out of sight , busy in the river ! " . But it 's just little things like that that sticks in my mind . They sort of grouped together in their groups , and I sort of was left out on a limb , sort of trying to go and talk to them . And sometimes they would just run off in cases , or just not want to bother with me . But otherwise it was all right . No , I didn 't get any qualifications at all , really . I was good at housecraft and needlework , and therefore , when I left the secondary modern school at fifteen years of age , I went into the best subject that my mother thought was good for me at the time , and that was my sewing . So , I went to work for the Montague Burton Ltd making men 's trousers , inserting side pockets , and I stayed there for quite some years . Then I went to SR Gents Ltd in Doncaster , that made nightdresses and lingerie for Marks & Spencer 's . But the more we did for that firm , the more they wanted you to produce . As soon as you reached the target that you were able to make , they said that to pay you the money , you had to do another twenty five or another fifty ; they kept upping the contract . So , that was quite something , so I didn 't stay there very long . Then I met my husband to be - John . My father was very strict , at the time , and he didn 't like my sister or I to talk with boys ; it was just not done by my father , you just didn 't do it . My sister was the first one to go out with a boy , and I do remember her having to be in for ( 5 ) nine o ' clock at night , because that was his thing - you had to be in for that time . And we was never allowed , at the time , to wear makeup , nail - varnish or anything like that . But when I started going out with my boyfriend , and I asked my father if it was all right to go out with this boy , and he said that I had to bring him home so that he could see what he was like , which I did . John was in the Air Force at the time . My father , also , was in the army , years ago , and also went to Burma . So , he realised that John would have had to have gone through vigorous training and bull nights , and doing everything that my father had done , so he thought he was a good candidate , so . I started going out with John and getting my bus home , but I managed - my bus , at the time , was ten o ' clock from Doncaster centre - and John asked my father if he could get me on the ten o ' clock bus , instead of being in for nine o ' clock , ' cause if we wanted to go see a film at the pictures , then if I had to be in at nine o ' clock , the film would not have finished and we wouldn 't see the end . So , as soon as ten o ' clock come and you all stood up for the anthem at the end of the film , I had to run out of the cinema to get back to the bus stop so that I could be in for that certain time . Then - I can 't remember how old I was … about eighteen , I think - and we was never told about sex at all . And I did have intercourse with John , only once , and I didn 't like it at all , and I thought " oh dear , oh what have I done ? I don 't like that " . Anyway , a few months went by and another few months went by , and I was passing a lot of urine and it was getting hotter every day . It stung me , terrible . ( 6 ) And so I told John , and I said " you know we had that sex ? " , and he said " yeah " , I said " well , I 'm really sore below " , I said , " and I hope I haven 't got anything , because my father will be absolutely furious with me . And I daren 't tell anybody ; I daren 't tell me Mum " . So , he said " well , what do you mean ? " , and I said " well , I 'm drinking an awful lot of water " . And I went to see him at the RAF station , and I remember going into the NAAFI and saying I want a drink of milk - and a half pint tumbler and I just drunk it straight down , and I was still thirsty . And John says " you can 't be thirsty " - " oh , yes please , I want another one " , so I drunk another one . Then I wanted lemonade , and he said " oh , this is ridiculous " . And I drank a whole pint of lemonade , and he said " why do you keep drinking ? " , he says " you 've only just drunk that , you can 't need any more drink " . So , I was sort of putting it in my mouth at one , and then flushing it out again every time I went to the toilet . But every time I went to the toilet , it hurt so much , I could have screamed in agony . And it was so bad that when I was at home , so nobody would know , I got in the bath , because when I got in the bath , all the water , it sort of washed all the - which I didn 't know was - the sugar that was in the water away . And so I decided that I couldn 't carry on any more , because it was so painful to pass urine , that I made an appointment with my GP , but generally my mother 's always been with me because they were the family doctor . And I thought " I don 't want to see Dr Glover at the time , I 'll go and see Dr Willis " , because Dr Glover was my mother 's doctor , and I thought Dr Willis - I 'll go and see a different one . So , I saw Dr Willis , and he said " what 's the matter ? " . I said " I 'm drinking a lot and I feel very tired . I 've got no energy and I 've lost an awful lot of weight , ' cause I was nine stone seven and I 've gone down to eight stone ( 7 ) three " . And he said " right " . I said " but " , I says " oh , I 'm so sore . When I pass urine " , I said , " I can scream " . And he said " up on the couch " , he said " my dear " , he said " and I will have a look . Don 't you worry " . So , I didn 't like to take my pants down , and he got a blanket and he said " now , you 're all right " , and he was so good . And he looked , and he said - he only took one slight look - and he said " that 's it , pull your pants up now " . He said " get off the couch and sit down a moment " . And he started writing a letter , and I thought " oh dear , he 's going to tell my mother - oh dear " . But no , it wasn 't . He said " I think I know what you 've got " , he said , " but I want you to go , you leave here now , and you go straight to the Doncaster Royal Infirmary with this letter . I will phone them to say that you 're on your way , and hand it in " . I handed it in , and they said " oh , you 're the lady they think has got diabetes " , and I didn 't understand what diabetes was at all , and I thought " oh dear , what is that ? " . And they did a glucose tolerance test , of where they measure … they give you so much water , or they leave you so many hours with nothing at all , test the blood , and every so often they tested the blood throughout the day . And then told me to tell my mother that a letter would be coming , going back to my doctor 's , and she must go with me to say what would happen - it would be in the next couple of days . So , therefore , I had to go home that evening and tell my mother that I 'd been to the doctors and that I 'd got diabetes . So , I went home and told my mother that I 'd got . . . she said " what do you mean , you 've got diabetes ? " . I said " well , that 's what they 've told me at the hospital . I 've been to the doctor " , I said , " because I was red below , and I didn 't know what it was " . So , she said " oh , right , well I 'll go to see Dr Glover tomorrow " . So , my mother went to see the family doctor , and they told me that I had the diabetes - I would be Well , I still didn 't understand what it meant , and I didn 't know until I 'd got in the hospital , that , when I got in , the nurse said " do you know what diabetes . . . ? " , and I said " no , I don 't know what diabetes is " . She said " it 's when you 've got too much sugar in the blood stream , and what it means is that the pancreas has stopped working or it 's very deficient , that the pancreas that produces insulin has stopped producing the insulin to make the sugar levels come down . So , therefore , this means that they will try you on a diet and tablets for the first couple of days , and if that doesn 't make any difference at all , you will have to go onto an injection " . And I was terrified , and I thought " oh , no " . The next couple of days I went on tablets , but it didn 't do anything at all , and the doctor came round and said " I 'm very sorry , but we 're going to put you on one injection a day . The nurse will come with a large Jaffa orange and a glass syringe and a steel needle . You will put it on the end of the syringe , and then we will fill it up with water , and then the nurse will show you how to put it into the orange of the skin , and you will press the syringe , and that will be like going into the same skin and texture of your legs " . So , I tried this , and I thought " oh , there 's no problem to that at all , I can do that " . But when it came - the nurse , next day , gave me an injection in to my leg , and said " right , you 've seen what I 've done and I 'll show you how to fill the syringe up . Tomorrow you will have to do it yourself " . So , I did it myself the next day , and my stomach was turning over and over and over . My hands went clammy , all sweaty , my forehead was dripping wet , but I managed to do it , and I 've carried on doing it ever since . Straightaway , when they said that that was , you know , the sugar … the pancreas has stopped working , then I realised it was nothing to do with having sex at all . And we 'd only had sex once . I 'd been going out with John for a year before we attempted to do anything , but it frightened me to death thinking I 'd got something or not knowing about anything about sex . My mother and father never said anything to us , and also school never told you anything about sex , at the time , so I didn 't really know what was happening to my body . I also found it was a relief to have diabetes and not anything else , at the time . It was thinking " oh , that 's all it is " . I was in about one week , in hospital , still doing the injections . After one week I was sent home . They gave me just little leaflets of what things I shouldn 't eat and what things I should eat . I found it quite hard , ' cause I liked sweet things at the time . But there was no such things as diabetic chocolate or anything like that , so I found it very hard not to have the chocolate that I used to have . Also , I found out a lot of things , ' cause my mother did the shopping , and to the fact that , I think it was mustard and sauces and things have sugar in . Tinned peas , at the time , did . There was different things that all related to sugar . Also , the diet side was - it was in grams , and it used to be in ten grams carbohydrate . And they said that I could be on a hundred and fifty grams carbohydrate at the time , so you had to work your portions out as ten grams each portion that you had , until it mounted up to the hundred and fifty grams for the whole day . No , I don 't think so . A lot of people didn 't understand it at all . In fact , it was very hard . I was given a kidney shaped dish , ( 11 ) of which was to sterilise the syringe and the needles . And you unscrewed the glass syringe and put the items into the water and put it on the gas stove . Also , the steel needles - but the only thing was , after you 'd sterilised them , when you come to use the needle time after time after time , it got blunter and blunter and blunter , until I got bruises . And my husband - ' cause I was now married - said " oh , you can 't keep going on like this - it causing bruises " . And they 'd just started to bring out - I think it was by Gillette - some disposable needles , and at the time John was earning about thirteen pounds a week , and I think it was about half of his wage that … to buy these at the chemist you had to ask for them , and then they sold you a box for about seven pounds ten shillings . But now , thank goodness , that we can have these things free on the National Health . He 's always been very good . Anything that 's been the matter with me , he 's always helped , or if I 've been worried about anything , he 's always helped out and tried to get me to go to the doctor to find things out , or he would find things out for me . So , to give so much of his pay so that I don 't have all this bruising was quite something . In fact , I didn 't use … the disposable needles , you should only use one . Because they was so fine to the horrible steel thick needles , I used them quite a few times , and was very careful that the needle didn 't break off , because it tends to bend after so many uses . And then I threw it away and did another one . So , the hundred needles , really , lasted me a long time . When I got diabetes and lost all the weight , I was off work for a few weeks , until they knew that I could do the injections properly . I went back to Montague Burton 's , and I was on a sewing machine at the time . But when I told them what I 'd been diagnosed with , the manager said " I 'm sorry , but I 'm not going to allow you to work at the sewing machine any more " , because if anything happened or if I got my fingers under the needles then he wouldn 't want to be at risk . So then , instead of earning all the lovely money that I had been earning , I went down to the end of the belt , as we called the moving belt , of where you sew a garment , then you throw the basket onto the top of the belt and it moves along until it gets to the end of the belt . And then the person at the end of the belt is like a quality control manager and they check everybody 's work , which would be zip flies , button flies , side pockets , before it went onto the next belt for them to do the side seams . So , therefore , I was checking at the end of the belt , which halved my money from about fourteen pounds to about six pounds ten shillings . The unions was all right , but hardly anybody went to the union at all . The only time we went to the union was when - the factory was all glass , and in the summer they used to paint the top of the roof in like a big black mass of - I don 't know what they called it - it was just to darken the sun off the roof . But it was so hot . It got to about a hundred and two or hundred and three in the factory , all the windows was open , and the sweat used to just run off the people 's back and face . And then we went to the union and said " we can 't work in this heat , it 's just unbelievable " . So , we used to go to the union , and then walk out onto the grass front of Montague Burton 's and sit outside , so that we could have an extra break of ten or fifteen minutes to have a drink because it was so hot . My diabetes was all right . As I say , I had my breakfast , I did my needle before I went to work . And while I was at work , there was a good canteen , of which sold pasta and cooked small dinners , and so I had no problem at all with meals at that time . No , I didn 't have any hypos while I was working . But when I got married in 1969 , and I went from Montague Burton 's to SR Gents - John was in the forces at the time - and I had a couple of hypos then , which was too less sugar . The hypos weren 't very severe at all , at that time . It was just knowing that my stomach was saying " I feel hungry " , and I got clammy hands and sweating an awful lot . But it sort of told me that I needed something to eat , so it didn 't go into a dramatic hypo , at that time , for the first few years . My pregnancies was fine . I was treat by the RAF squadron leaders at the time . My first child , Tracey , was in 1971 . She was born in Cambridgeshire in the Ely RAF hospital . But , at the time , the doctors said that diabetic people always produced big babies , so , therefore , that I might not go full time with my child as they would bring it on earlier by one month . But I stayed in hospital about five weeks beforehand , before I had Tracey , so that they could monitor my sugar levels so that nothing would go wrong at the time of giving birth to Tracey . So , therefore , Tracey was born one month premature , but the weight of Tracey was only six pounds five ounces , so really she wasn 't too big at all . My second child , David , was born in Cyprus in Akrotiri Hospital , as John was stationed in Cyprus at the time . My pregnancy , again , they said they would start me off early by one month , but the only thing … and I thought that the time that they 'd given me for my son was later than what I thought it would be . One night they put me in a side room , and there was a little bell . In case anything happened to my sugar or I didn 't feel very well , I rang this little bell , and I thought " oh no " , and my waters had broken . They was going to induce me that next morning , but there was no chance because my waters broke the night before . So , everything went fine with both children , and David was seven pounds nine ounces . No , the doctors wouldn 't allow me to breastfeed the babies . They said they had to be given small bottles . I don 't understand why , but they said " no , diabetic are not to feed their own babies " . The RAF hospitals was very strict at the time , and so , so clean , that all the tables at the bottom of the beds , the trolleys , all had to be in order , all in single file , and they all used to be sort of in line , especially when the matron come round . And I even remember they said " what are you doing , Mrs Bowden ? " , I said " oh , nothing at the moment " . " Oh , well , if you 'd like to help one of the nurses " , because it was just something , really , for me to do , and it would keep my sugar down , also , as well , keeping active . And I used to love doing … you had to get sort of a spray and spray all the plastic mattresses so that was perfectly clean , and then get the crisp cotton sheets and do a corner fold and then tuck it underneath . Also a rubber mat , then another sheet , and I quite enjoyed doing that . Yes ; even the doctors . And when they were coming round , if she noticed anything that she didn 't like , she would point it out in front of them . Even on the window ledges - if there was a glass on the window ledge , it should be on the side of the lockers at the side of the bed . The nurses were very good . The doctors , when they did their ward rounds - group captain or squadron leader or whoever it was that was coming round - instead of talking to the patient themselves - whether it was different for the men that was in the forces , or the women , the WAFs that was in the forces - whether they treat them differently , I don 't know . But I found that when they came to my bed , they said " good morning " , and then they looked in your report and just said " oh , you so . . . " , your name and what was wrong with you , and they talked in - between themselves without talking to the actual patient . I found that really different to what it is nowadays . No , I never did any paid work at all , because , as John was in the forces , that we moved house quite a bit ; he was stationed at different places . Also , went to Cyprus for three years , but when the conflict was on , I was sent home with the children while John stayed there another six months . So , it was hard to sort of go out to work when I 'd got the children to look after . Well , quite normally . Just carried on , you know , one day at a time , just quite easily . The only thing that I remember when my son was growing up was , I was up in the bedroom one day , and my son was stood in the doorway watching me do my injection . And I never thought about it , really , but I thought , well , it must sort of make him feel uneasy . But now , although he has injections and needles and things , it . . . well , I don 't know whether , with him seeing me do it when I was so young , whether it bothered him or not . Yes , I do , now . I think it . . . you know , he doesn 't bother at all . I mean , if I was ill or anything like that , you know , he 'd know what to do . It wasn 't too bad . After I 'd had my children , I was put on - the level of my blood sugars went higher - and they said it would be better if I went on to two injections a day , which would be one before breakfast and one before tea . So , therefore , I carried on with two injections for quite a number of years . I 've now had it about thirty - seven years , and now in the last year , I would say , I 've gone onto four injections , where it 's a total different insulin altogether . One is NovoRapid , which I take before each meal , and the other one is a Glargine insulin that you take before bed , and that acts as a twenty four hour insulin that keeps it level all through until the next morning . When my son was about five years of age , and Tracey seven years of age , my husband was going out for work , and I was still in bed . And I remember my son coming to the bedroom , and I was trying to shout my husband and I found it very difficult to call his name . " John , John " , but no answer . And I think my son came and ran downstairs , and said " Daddy , Mummy wants you " . When John come to me , I 'm trying to speak to him but the words were very erratic ; I couldn 't make sense of what I was saying . I called John - " John " . He came round to the bed and said " Margaret , what 's the matter , what 's the matter ? " , and he felt me and my head was really wet and sweating . And he didn 't know what to do at the time , because I 'd never had a hypo like this , and it was early hours of the morning . He got hold of me and tried to lift me onto my feet , but down one side I couldn 't control my body . I felt as though I was like a spastic person that had no control over the muscles , and my leg was bent up and my arm was wavering about in mid - air and I couldn 't stand . So , John put me back on the bed and called a doctor , ' cause I 'd never had a reaction - I just felt paralysed all down one side . And the RAF came out and said that my blood sugar was low . And I remember … I think I was given something very sweet , and within a matter of fifteen minutes I was normal again . I can 't . . . I don 't understand why , that when I 've had these hypos , they 've always sort of been generally in the early hours of the morning . Whether , say , I 'll get very tired at night time and I 'll think " oh no , I 'm not hungry , I don 't need anything to eat " , or I 'll go without cream cracker or something , and then in the night it must drop very low , not knowing . Not too bad , really , but I 've had a few things . 1984 I had a breast lump removed , but it was benign , so it was only a small lump that they removed at the hospital . But while I was in the hospital , they found that I 'd got anaemia , so I had a blood transfusion . Also , later on in 1990 , my hair sort of started going very thin and my skin was dry , and I went to the doctor 's and they said that I 'd got hypothyr . . . is it hypothyrism ? And then the year later I had a hysterectomy done , and I was quite young - about forty - early forties … forty , forty one , had a frozen shoulder . Also , while John was in the forces , I had sort of bending in the fingers , like a hoop movement , which caused pains going up into both arms , and I couldn 't understand it . And when I felt the arm , it felt as though I 'd got an extra muscle , and it was so hard and the pains that were shooting up my arms , we couldn 't understand it . Even the hospital didn 't know what it was . And they said that they 'd operate , so they cut inside of the arm to about seven inches long , and said that the muscle actually just bursted out when they slit the skin . But what it was caused by , to this day , nobody knows . But it released the tension in the fingers - there was no more hooked up as though the fingers was all tightening . So , both arms were done - one on one month , and then a couple of months later I had the other arm done , but now they 're fine now . Then I had in 1995 just frozen shoulder , that you couldn 't ( 19 ) undo the back of your bra . It was so awkward - not being able to reach your hair to brush your hair because it was so painful , the shoulder joint . And so I managed to do movements at the hospital to get the shoulder to work again . In 1997 I had pains , again , in the hands and the arm , and the doctors said " well , you 've had your arms done " . And I had pins and needles , mostly at night times , I had pins and needles in the arms and the hands , and they said I 'd got carpal tunnel . So , each hand was cut into , into the palm , about four inches long - one in about November time and the other one in January . Then , in 1997 , I was walking into Thame , where I live , and I got short of breath . And I just carried on and thought " oh " , and I had pain going down my left arm . I thought " oh , I 'll be all right " , so I carried on , did my shopping . And at the time I thought " oh , I 'm sweating " , and I thought " well , I 'm all right , it isn 't my sugar " , because I 'd just eaten before I 'd left home , " so it can 't be my sugar " . So , I thought " I don 't feel so good , I 'm going to get a taxi back " , but at that time , twenty minutes I waited for a taxi to come , but one didn 't arrive . So , I thought " well , I 've got to get home , so I started walking home from Thame , got about five hundred yards from the house where I live , but it was a gradual incline , and I thought " oh dear , I 've got this pain running down my left arm " . And I thought I 'd eaten an apple for lunch and I felt as though it was stuck in my chest , and I thought " that 's silly , you 've not eaten an apple . I only had a yoghurt after my sandwiches " . And it was like a tight band round my chest , and I wanted to undo the bra just to release the pressure . I got home and sat in the chair . I felt ( 20 ) slightly better . I rested . Then my husband came in and said " what 's the matter ? " . I said " oh , I don 't know " I said , " I feel as though I 've got an apple stuck in my chest " I said , " and I 've got pain going down my left arm " . John said " have you got it now ? " , and I says " yeah , but not as bad as what I had it before " . I got up to go upstairs to the toilet and I was out of breath , and when I came down I was still huffing and panting . And I said " what are you doing ? " , he says " I 'm ringing the doctor " , I said " what for ? " , I says " I 've only got indigestion " , I says " I must have had something " I said . But John wouldn 't have it , and the doctor came , and I went straight to the John Radcliffe Hospital , where they put me on a monitor and said that I 'd got angina . So , they kept me in overnight , and then put me on tablets the next morning . And so , now , I have tablets for the angina , and they found I had got high blood pressure at the time - also gave tablets for that . Also , in 2002 , the fingers on my hand have started tightening and they 're twisting , and I also had a scan at the Nuffield hospital to find out that I 'd got osteoporosis : the thinning of the bones . Some doctors say that the carpal tunnel compression is to do with diabetes ; also the angina could be an onset of diabetes . Another thing they say is to keep looking at the feet to see if there 's anything , because you lose sensation in the feet generally , and if you stand on a stone or anything sharp you may not be able to feel it . Also , another thing of the feet is if you go in a bath , always put the cold water in first and then the hot water . If you was to put your feet in hot water , you may scald the soles of your feet and not know because the feeling is not the same . To say I have had diabetes all this time , I 've been told that my eyes are very good . I do have glasses but don 't wear them all the time ; it 's just on odd occasions . But the eyesight , really , for the time that I 've had diabetes , are very good . That 's like a calcium for the bones . Also to go with the Alendronate , Calcichew D3 tablets , you either suck or chew them . Evidently the D3 is got a vitamin also ; instead of it being a calcichew on its own , it 's got also a vitamin as well . Besides those two tablets , I am on dispersible aspirin to thin the blood down . Also , I 'm on Coproxamol four times daily when I had a lot of back pain , and that 's what they said it was the osteoporosis . Also , isosorbide monorate , which is two a day , and I do believe that that tablet is to open the . . . is it the valves or the blood vessels to allow the blood to flow ? Also , Premarin , one a day , and that 's just a hormone . Ramipril and Simvastatin . Simvastatin is to lower the cholesterol , and Ramipril , I 'm not quite . . . I think that 's high blood pressure . And then at night time I 'm on Atenolol , one at night . Also , Simvastatin , so I take the Atenolol and the Simvastatin at night time only . I also got an under active thyroid gland , of which I take Thyroxine . For the heart problem , if I 'm out and I get out of breath ( 22 ) or I get any pain , I have a spray of which I spray one puff under the tongue , which is called a Nitrolingual spray . Also , I 'm on water tablets , which is Frusemide . So , that 's quite a lot of tablets , really . Yeah ! Yes , that 's right , so that 's about a dozen tablets plus the insulin four times a day , which I find the four times a day used to be hard , ' cause I couldn 't remember … At first I only used to do it in the morning and at teatime , and now with it being four times a day , twice I forgot to take it at lunchtime . That 's when I first started , but now I 'm into it now , that I know that every meal that I take it . It was when I went out with my daughter , and she said " are you all right , have you done . . . ? " , and I goes " oh no , I haven 't done it " , so I was about an hour late in taking the lunchtime . It was only the lunchtime ones I forgot on two occasions . I wonder … sometimes I think " well , do I really need all these tablets ? " . But if it 's doing me well - I don 't see myself had any side effects with the tablets , so , therefore , they must be doing me good . If I 'd have had side effects , I think I would have asked about them . Quite a bit . In the forces hospitals - the slightest thing wrong with me and they took me in straight away . But now , with the civilian hospitals , because , you know , they 're so busy with so many patients from all different areas - where the forces hospital just had the forces people , they had more time and more beds - but now , when I 'm in the civilian life , then they do . . . If there was anything wrong then I 'm sure that they would take me in and do the treatment that I needed , but I find it very hard ( 23 ) to know the difference between the two hospitals . And I think it 's because there 's so many people to be seen in different areas - it 's just not one part of the country , because people travel a lot to get heart things done , and , you know . The only thing that I worry about is … what I wouldn 't like to happen to me would be to have anything wrong with my kidneys , so I 'm hoping that my kidneys will last out a lot longer . I would hate to be or have to go on dialysis . That 's one of my fears since I 've been really tiny and I 've watched the television , and I see all these people on these dialysis machines and think " oh , I hope nothing goes wrong with my kidneys " . No , not really . I found in the forces hospital , the nurses were there all the time . They was always in the ward or in the section doing things repeatedly . But I found … I 'd been in a civilian hospital , and you could go from the day room and walk around , and you wouldn 't see . . . there may be only two nurses on , when I 'd been used to six or eight nurses , male and female nurses , in the forces hospital . But yet it 's cut down so much now that you only see about two nurses in a civilian hospital , and then one at the desk , so there 'd be three . They 're doing a lot more work , nowadays , to just , you know , odd number of nurses . Really … to relate - they don 't seem as though they have time , because if a patient is ill and they 've got to monitor them , then they seem to be around that patient quite frequently . And the other patients - they may be in for their foot or their arm or whatever - and it 's … you 're just there and you 're fed , and till the doctors come round , you just might see a nurse every so often . But at least they are there for the people that are being needed and cared for , that 's got something dramatically wrong with them . The only thing I 've found - it 's being so used to like the forces hospital . If there was any little thing wrong with you , you was in , but I mean in only matter about a week or four weeks and you would be in the hospital . But I find that if there 's anything wrong now , unless it 's a breast lump removal or something that 's urgent , then you can wait for quite a few months before even being sent an appointment . And then when you get the appointment , it will be another two or three months , when you get the letter , before you are actually seen by anybody . So , therefore , if that 's the case of waiting so many months before you get a letter , then another couple of months before you 're seen , it could be another however long on a waiting list before you 've actually got your problem seen to . Well , I 've had two bad hypos . I 've had a few in the night time , of where my husband 's found me and I 've been sweating , and he 's thought " oh no , Margaret 's having a hypo " . But there is a Glucagon injection that can be put into the arm now , but before these came out , when John found me sweating , he used to try and get some sweet liquid down me , like lemonade or something like that . But if I was so unconscious … and when I come round from the unconsciousness I used to tell John " please don 't give me fizzy drink , because I feel as though you 're trying to choke me " , because the fizziness and trying to swallow , I could choke . Because , when I actually come round , my nightdress , my face is covered with all this sticky lemonade , all down the front of me where he 's been trying to get it into my mouth . And when he 's got so much down me and he say " drink , drink " , and he 's managed to get some in , and then I start to come round . Then he 'll go and get me some cereal or something like that . ( 25 ) Another hypo I had was where I 'd been into Thame , shopping , one Tuesday - it was a market day . I 'd come home and I 'd vacuumed all the downstairs , and I thought " ooh , I feel a bit hungry " , so I thought " well , what I 'll do is I 'll get my lunch ready " . So , I got my salad , my ham and my bread all ready to eat on a tray . And I thought " oh no , if I just do the stairs and up in the bedrooms , I 've finished , and I can put the vacuum away ; I don 't have to sit downstairs with the vacuum out . I 'll just quickly go upstairs and do the bedrooms " . So , I carried the Vax up the stairs and started doing the bedrooms . Then , I remember going into my own bedroom , and then I can 't remember anything . Everything . . . I just can 't remember . And I remember coming round and thinking " oh no , I 'm not feeling right " , and I saw something white in front of me , and actually I thought I was in the doctor 's surgery where the couches are , with the white blanket . And I thought " well , what am I doing int ' doctors surgery ? I can 't be int ' doctor 's surgery " . And then I don 't remember again , and then another flashback , and I grabbed hold of this white sheet , or whatever I thought . . . And I grabbed hold of it , and I thought " oh " , and it was flashing , and I thought " I 'm in my own bedroom " , and I thought " oh no , my sugar 's gone too low , I 'm not well " . And I was laid on the floor , and I thought " oh dear , how can I get somebody to help me ? " - I couldn 't get myself up from the floor . And I remember that I 'd got a Glucogon injection in the bottom of the bed , in the drawer . I managed to pull the drawer out and get the Glucogon kit out , and how I managed to get the liquid into the tablet and draw it up , I 'll never know , but I managed to jab it into my arm ( 26 ) and press it , and it went in . And I got myself rested up against the bed , and I lay there for a good ten , fifteen minutes , and I started to slightly come round . My head was buzzing round , and I thought " oh dear " . And it was twelve o ' clock when I went up , just to finish the vacuuming upstairs . And I managed to pull myself along the landing and bump myself down each step , until I managed to get down to the bottom step of the stairs . I dragged myself up onto the end of the banister pole and grab hold on the wall , and walk along the wall into the kitchen , to see that my dinner , or salad - ham salad - was still there . I looked at the microwave clock , and saw it said three o ' clock in the afternoon . And I thought " oh , I went up at twelve o ' clock , ' cause I 'd done my lunch " . So , three hours later I managed to eat my lunch . I pulled a chair out and sat myself down to eat my lunch , but the Glucogon injection was already working , that I managed to eat my lunch . At that time , my daughter had had a day off work , as it was a day off , ' cause she works Saturdays as well . And she knocked on the door and came in and saw me , and she says " are you all right , what 's the matter ? " . And all one side of my face was looked as though I 'd had a stroke - it 'd all hung on one side . Whether it was because I was laid on the floor in the bedroom and it had pressed against my face . . . but it did look quite funny at the time . ( 27 ) And then , earlier this year , I had another bad hypo . And that was also , I 'd been out , I 'd cleaned up before I went out , and I 'd gone into the Thame . And I 'd walked round and round and round , doing the shopping , carrying heavy shopping with me . I came home , and I thought " oh , I do feel tired " . I came in the house and sat in the armchair , and I thought " oh , I 'm so tired " . And that 's what it feels . . . now I react that when I feel really , really tired , I need something to eat . It just as though your body seeps , and you get really , really tired , and really , really tired . And I should have realised and gone and got something to eat , but I thought " oh no , I 'll just sit here a moment " , and I must 've either gone to sleep or I 'd gone unconscious . The next I remember is waking up , or coming round , with my head on one shoulder , and all wet round my mouth , where my mouth had . . . saliva had been dripping from my mouth . And I tried to lift my head up , and found it quite heavy to hold up . I thought , " oh no , it 's a hypo , and there 's nobody about " . And then I could hear children playing in the background , and I thought " oh , my neighbour 's at home " . So , I tried to shout : " Teresa ! Teresa ! " , my mouth got louder : " Teresa ! " , because it 's very hard to be able to speak ; to make your brain call somebody . And I shouted and I shouted as loud as I could , but couldn 't be heard . I waited for a moment , and thought " I 've got to do something myself " . I leant myself forward till I fell on the floor , of which my husband had laid a ( 28 ) wooden flooring , which was slippy . I dragged and pulled myself round the chair , dragging myself into the kitchen , thinking " I 've got to get something out of the cupboard " . I was unable to stand up , and I grabbed hold of a knob of the kitchen cupboard , at ground level , and pulled it open , as I do cakes . And I saw a little jar of glycerine , or glucose syrup , so I knocked all the tins out of the way to grab hold of the glucose syrup in this jar . Managed to pull myself back , but still laid on the floor , unscrewed the top - very difficult to do - and put my fingers in , and try and wipe it across my mouth , ' cause my hand was all wobbly . And I just wiped it into my mouth , all the glucose syrup , and it was just like treacle , all wiped all over my face , all down my front . And I lay there , I don 't remember anything else for the moment , and I lay there for another five or ten minutes . And then I started to feel slightly better , still not being able to stand up , dragged myself back into the room , because I could hear the children playing outside . The door was ajar , into the hall , and I dragged myself into the hall and rested myself against the radiator , waiting and waiting until I felt strong enough to be able to pull myself up at the radiator and the door latch . . . so that I could just release the door catch . I managed to do it , after a while , and the door was ajar . Then I shouted the little boy next door , and he went and got his mother , and I knew I was safe then - that somebody knew I was there . Now , I tend to put . . . thinking to myself , if I was upstairs , I 've got the Glucogon in the drawer of the bottom of the bed . And I hadn 't realised , before , that you 're not able to stand , because you 're like , like I say , you 're like a spastic person that 's just got no control over their muscles at all . And your arms and your legs just fly about , and it 's just impossible to stand at all . And now I keep a packet of glucose tablets where the glucose syrup was , so that if I 'm in that difficulty and am able to pull myself there and get something straight away . My husband copes very well with it , really . Generally he . . . once he 's left home he doesn 't worry about me at all , because he says he can 't worry about me , because it would stop him doing his job correctly . He knows that in any circumstances , whether it was to pull the phone off the hook and shout down 999 , or whatever , that I 'd be all right . Because John leaves home very , very early in the morning , when I used to have the hypos in the early hours of the morning - one or two o ' clock - then he 'd say sometimes that … Now he 's learnt to give this Glucogon injection . ' Cause John didn 't like needles at all , and I said " you must , instead of trying to pour syrup liquid down me , please give this injection , and you 'll have no worries with me that I will come around in about fifteen minutes " . So , I don 't know what happened , but one night he couldn 't wake me , he couldn 't get any liquid down me at all , so he managed to read the label inside the Glucogon and he managed to put it in to my arm . And then I remember seeing a bright light , and John says I was sort of moaning when I was coming around . But he said that when I haven 't quite gone really unconscious , if he tried to give me a drink or anything , in the previous before the Glucogon came out , I would fight him . Not knowing , my arms would be flying about , and he says he used to think " oh dear " , you know , as though I was going to hit him . And he 'd say " come on , drink this lemonade , drink , open your mouth , drink ! " . " No , I 'm all right , go away ! " , I used to say , " Go away ! " , and my arms used to fling out , and he used to hate it . He used to say " do you know ? " he says . I says " oh " , I says " oh , I 've had a hypo again , haven 't I ? " , and he says " yes , you have " , he said , " I 've been up for ( 30 ) last hour and a half , trying to get you round " . And it was so difficult for him , and I thought , you know , and it kept him out of his sleep , because I mean he leaves quite early in the morning . I mean , one time it happened about three o ' clock in the morning , and he 'd got to leave the house for about six o ' clock , so to get back to sleep and then re - wake up again , it was quite hard . But he says " do you know you was flinging your arm ? " , and I don 't remember anything at all . I don 't even remember saying , you know . . . only when I 'm sort of coming round , and my brain 's knowing what I want to say but it comes out very strange . They don 't like me to have these low . . . I 've never , never had high readings , not to the extent of where it 's hyper - thyrism . Evidently , it 's said to take a few days . The sugar goes higher and higher and higher , and you gradually get tired and then go into a coma . But I 've never had them high . My problem is them going too low , whether I 've been out and my lunch has not been on time , or I 've not stopped in the middle of the day and thought " I 'll have a Rich Tea and I 'll have a drink " . Perhaps I 've been busy in doing something , and I 've thought " oh , I 'll just get this done , I 'll just get this done " , not realising that the time was moving on . And yeah , that 's the main problem . The doctors said that with this injections that I have now - three in the day time and the fourth one at night - that it would level the sugars levels out a lot better , which it has , and they 're slightly higher . So , therefore , it 's done well , instead of having high and then dropping low . Also , I found out recently - that I never knew in all the years I 've had diabetes - was when the sugar drops very low - I 've had it go down to one - point - seven and one - point - nine - and I didn 't know that your own body - I don 't know if it 's the liver , now , ( 31 ) I don 't know - it 's something that makes your body , like , respond , to make the sugar go high , which I never knew ; never ever knew that in all these years . And then when I come to test my sugar , when it 's been one - point - seven or one - point - nine , you can guarantee that the next one that I 'll take is about fifteen , because it 's shot up really high . And I never knew , in all that time , that that 's what the body actually did , because I couldn 't understand why it could be one - point - nine and then it go really high . Yeah , I quite enjoy life now . My children 's . . . they 've left home . My son 's got a family , lovely family , and wife . My daughter 's also got a partner , who 's very nice . I get up in the morning , see my husband off to work . Not every morning , but most mornings I do - I get up at six o ' clock . And then I have my injection , and my breakfast , do the housework . I also like doing cakes when it 's anybody 's special occasion . The only thing there is , it 's this icing - rolling out the fondant icing . Now , the doctors have told me - but I can 't see it myself - but the doctors have told me that it wouldn 't make any difference , but I know for a fact that when I knead this glucose icing that it goes through the skin . And they said " well , do you wash your hands ? " . I said " yes , I do wash my hands " , but it seems as though it goes in , that when I prick my finger to test the blood , it goes high . So , that 's the only problem that I have , but it doesn 't go , you know , really high , but it goes higher than my normal fives or sevens . I mean , it 'd go to fifteen . Well , it 's generally it 's not . . . generally , you know , my sugars are quite . . . fives , sevens , threes , fours . But when I do any of these cakes , they tend to go up to about fifteen , so I 've got to be careful on that note . Well , I don 't eat icing or anything like that , but at Christmas time especially - I mean I 've had diabetes all this time - and I think to myself " why should I go without a mince pie or a piece of fruit cake at Christmas ? " . So , what I tend to do is , I think " well , I 'll have a mince pie " , just the pastry and the mincemeat inside , no icing sugar or no custard , nothing on it , and I really enjoy that . And I tend to give myself extra insulin to cope with the mince pie that I 've had , or the piece of fruit cake that I might have over Christmas Day or Boxing Day , and I cope quite well with that . No , in the earlier years I wouldn 't alter the regime at all . The doctor says " you take that , you take that " , and I wouldn 't alter it in any way . But now , as I 've got older - and I think , well I 'm getting on , not too old , but I 'm getting on in years now - and I think " well , I am going to have just that little bit " , instead of being without all the time , thinking " no , you can 't have that , you can 't have this , you can 't have that " . And in the hospitals - now , earlier on in the forces hospitals , it was " you can 't have that , you can 't have this , you can 't have that " - and then I went to a hospital , I think it was Pontefract at the time . . . That was in 1970 , I think it 'll be 1970s , yeah . Early , very early , when I 'd just got diabetes , I think it would be . And they brought me , I think it was peaches , and I said " I can 't eat peaches " - tinned peaches in the syrup - and I says " I 'm diabetic " , and I says " no , I 'm not allowed to eat that " . " That it what is down for you " , she says , " you 've got to eat . . . " . And I thought " no " , I says " I 'm not allowed it , I can 't eat it " . And they says " oh , yes , you can you alter your regime of your ( 33 ) insulin " . " Oh no " I said , " no , I 've got to keep to the same insulin . I can 't be doing different things with me insulin . No , it 's got to be right " . So , you know , I wouldn 't have it . But now , I have had a mince pie or a piece of fruit cake , or something , but altered the insulin . Generally , it 's sort of cleaning up . And I like to go into Thame . I like Thame , and I walk round most of the shops . And then I think to myself this week " oh , I 'll have a day out in Oxford " , or then " I 'll have a day out in Aylesbury " , so I get myself on the bus , and then I go , you know , to the nearest shopping centres around . And then I come back , and then I start preparing a cooked dinner , ' cause with John having just snacks in the mid - day , then he tends to eat his dinner at night time . But otherwise , it 's , you know , just sort of a regime that I get into . I don 't have a job . I would like a job , if I could , but it 's just . . . with the age that I am now . Also , I really don 't know how people carry on with diabetes , ' cause before , you 'd say to a manager " oh , I 've got an appointment at the hospital , I 've got to go . . . " . " Well , do you really need to go ? " , I says " oh yes , I 've got to go " . And now , whether in business that they 're more flexi - time with the people going for their appointments and that , but years ago , it was a no - no . You couldn 't have a job and keep having to go to a hospital , or check - ups at your doctor 's , or prescriptions - keep getting your prescriptions , or your needles and your . . . You know , the doctors finish at five o ' clock , and it was shut , so you had to have an hour off , or something , to get the medication that you needed . My husband said that ! I 've just done them for friends really , and mostly relatives . A couple of people in the street that I 've done them for , otherwise it 's just been aunts , uncles ( 34 ) and my mother . But people that have seen them say " well , why don 't you take it up and do some more ? " , but I don 't know , I haven 't got the confidence . If anybody asked me for something that I 've never done , you know , I 'd find it a challenge . But I know it would turn out , in the end , all right . You know , when I 've finished cakes , people can 't believe how thin the icing is on the petals of the flowers and things , ' cause generally in the shop ones , they 're quite thick - the petals and things , and they are quite thick . I 've seen them in Oxford itself . I think , family . I haven 't got any worries at the moment . John is so good . Although I would have liked to have worked a lot more , you know - I 've had a couple of little jobs , working in Thame Mill Laundry for a couple of years , and they let me go to the hospital , and I really enjoyed that . It was about five hours ; just a half a day , it was . And then it closed down and they knocked the building down , so that was no more , so , around Thame , there would be only shops that I could work in . So , really , I haven 't got any worries . John has been very good , you know , paying all the bills and everything , so I 'm quite lucky really . And , you know , the things that he 's done for me : he doesn 't say " you 've got to go out to work " , or " you 've got to do this , you 've got to do that " , so , in that way , I 'm very lucky . And I 've got a nice family ; that , in need of my son , his wife , or my daughter and her partner , they would be there . Just that call and I know that they would be there . I would say , just listen to the doctors and the nurses . I had a very , very good . . . like I say , I didn 't know that when my sugar dropped to one point seven or one point nine that it would kick in and make it go high again . And I only found that out in the past year , when I spoke to - I don 't know whether she 's a nurse or whether she 's a diabetes … - she 's not in uniform - a diabetes nurse that I saw called Isobel . And I do believe … And that was . . . hospital . . . I 'm trying to think what they call . . . the metabolic , was it the . . . at the Oxford Centre for Diabetes . Her name was Isobel and she was very , very good , because all the other nurses I 've seen over the past years , either they 've only just started or they don 't understand it , or . . . And she told me , when I went on these new injections . . . ( 35 ) Isobel told me that , when the sugar dropped to one point seven or one point nine , that it would automatically kick in and go up , but you must always have food , although the blood sugar is climbing . And then it will read high , but don 't worry about it . I says " well , I do worry , because I always keep mine about five , seven " , and if it goes to fifteen , shoots up to fifteen , I think " oh , what have I done " , or anything . She says " no , don 't let it worry you , because it will level out again , and the main thing to do is not allow it to get down to one point seven or one point nine , because you know , now , that when it does reach those levels , that your own body will kick in and then it will shoot up high " . So , I try not to let it go that low , now . And I 'm also finding , as Isobel put me on this new insulin of three in the day time and one at night , is that my sugar levels was sort of seven , five , at a level . But if it drops , because they kept it sort of at a medium level , that it if drops now any lower than five , say , I realise because I feel really hungry . And before , when my sugars was too low , my body didn 't realise that I needed something to eat . Because it was kept at a low level all the time , my body wasn 't telling me " Margaret , you 're hungry , you need something to eat " , because it was too low . Because they 've stepped it up to a higher level , therefore when it does drop to four , three , I think " oh , I 'm hungry and I must get something to eat " . Before , my body wasn 't telling me that it was low . So , do you think you 're managing quite well ? Yes , I am , now . I feel a lot better . Although I didn 't want to go on four injections a day , I 'm coping with it , and it 's a lot better regime . |
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